#and then actually. Do the Work (eugh)
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U know what. Here's a bunch of Silver WIPs in various stages of "will finish later" and "will likely stay unfinished." Enjoy
#doodles#not tagging this as characters. whoever wants to see it it will eventually find them#flashing#flashing tw#gif#animation#tw flickering#tw flashing#hopefully that covers it all for the last gif (was really trying to convey the speed of metal spinning him in the comic)#i would LOVE to finish animating the panel of throwing him but i kind of hit a wall with metal sonic <3 gotta find a lot of good refs panel#and then actually. Do the Work (eugh)#was gonna lock reblogs but yknow what. if you want it on ur blog im not gonna stop u
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there's cliche's and then there's intentionally leaving a piece vague but it still having meaning and assuming your audience isn't stupid so they can come to their own conclusions about how the piece makes them feel based on visual language
#that's what we did in art school#when you actually have to do shows and tell people in person your artist's statement#I like seeing how people feel and react to my work rather than care about the style or aesthetic or tropes used#it's the /meaning/ of the piece and I love how even though my experience is specific#it still feels relatable to others#in that moment where people go wow or that's so cool like#i had a guy run up to me once just because he bloboed a work of art I made#i love that shit#i miss shows but eugh pandemic :(#jackal's journal#my art historian would have a fit rn#her whole thing is Pompeii and she showed us how much enjoying and relating to things you love or find neat helps inspire you more#than worrying about how other people feel about you#like damn
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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I have existed for 6 years :)
#pk;m Limerick📖#today is my birthday :)#not my Canonical birthday. we should sit down and find out which days would be Considered our Actual Birthdays... Hmm#but today is the day I formed in this system. Interesting!#I think it is also the last birthday of the month. Though there is one we skipped... We do not talk about Hir. Eugh#I'm glad shi's gone. That's all I'll say.#If we have time today... Well. I don't want birthday art‚ but we have an art idea for Wil and Dark that'll suffice as birthday art for them#We'll work on it if we have time and spoons!
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assignment is due on sunday and she given better points if you hand it in early which is fineee it's finee it's not at all terriblepractice it's. fine
#[.txt]#not even a 'you will lose points if you hand it in late' which is understandable#but. essentially the only way to get a full grade is to hand in the thing /early/. so what's the point of giving us a week to do it!#at that point it's as if the deadline is on wednesday if you lose points by turning it in On Time but Later in the week. eugh#uni tag#complaining tag#I mean also bad on me because I barely worked today. I'm missing one entire castle research. Because the video she gave us for it is broken#laying my head on a desk about it good fucking god I don't want to do this assignment I get weird just thinking about it#i'm still going to do it I just need to get the mind to actually change castle I'm doing this on because that video is useless
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I think one of my biggest pet peeves about the modern internet is the fact that everybody has to take anecdotes with a grain of salt, but as a result you will get people who will be incredibly defensive about someone chiming into a thread with a relevant anecdote?
Like- buddy... What do I stand to gain by lying about this? I'm just adding a relevant comment to the topic while providing enough information that someone could feasibly do the research themselves if they were really skeptical.
This isn't a video game where the internet has a Karma meter, my dude. You don't build fame by making average comments on people's posts.
#just the fact that I will chime in with a response to something that OP actually asked in the OG post and people will do this#just.... brother... EUGH....#why would answering a question about an 'odd' setting on a slot machine (because I happen to work in gaming regulation) make me famous#what would I stand to gain from lying about what a progressive slot meter is#and its never OP who does this either
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Ok also so I got my eyebrow and nose piercings back in... march, I think? I was supposed to go back in to get the bars changed out some time ago but I never did. Largely bc my eyebrow piercing has Not been healing smoothly (keep accidently banging it and getting it caught on things so it doesn't wanna heal) but I think the long bar has been actively hindering my healing (making it easier to get caught on things) so I decided to change it out Myself. Bought some new smaller jewelry online and it got here today and
I'm not generally squeamish when it comes to my own body. Like pain, blood, whatever. Don't rly care.
That, though... that took some effort.
But I did it! Smaller jewelry to hopefully make healing a little smoother from here on out. I also got some new jewelry for my nose stud that'll get here tomorrow. That one at least won't be a huge deal, since the nose piercing has healed so much more smoothly, thankfully.
(Preemptive warning for Gross Details in the tags. Lol)
#speculation nation#for the eyebrow piercing it's like....#ok this is kinda gross hfkshfks but i think i. at one point when it got caught on something#i think i like. tugged the piercing. um. smaller#?#like the area of skin that the eyebrow piercing runs thru is. smaller. bc it literally tore some of the actual pierced skin.#hurt like a BITCH i'll fuckin tell you that lmfao. ive been a lot more careful since.#but thats another thing with why i wanted a smaller thing. the prior one was fucking Massive in there. way too much#but now i have smth smaller. thinner too. which i hope will help with healing.#downsizing while healing will reduce the amount of variation in jewelry i can stick in there#but tbh i think itd just be wiser to stick to small things anyways. with the thinner patch of skin there.#i dont WANT to rip my eyebrow piercing out. which that was part of what made changing it so hard hfkshfm#these new ones r like screw on ends. but the one before was a pin i had to pull out.#and Let Me Tell You. i was so fucking scared of accidentally ripping it out when trying to pull that bitch. holy shit.#i got it without ripping anything. it still hurt and it bled a good bit but i got it.#switched out the jewelry. which eugh that part was pretty rough too. like not to be gross but rootin around in ur own skin is. somethin#hfksfhksbfmd but it's done and i dont intend to change it until it's healed more. so hopefully it will be. easier then.#i actually took out my nose piercing.. yesterday? to try to switch out with a shorter back#didnt work bc it was thicker. had to put the old one back in. which THAT was harrowing but mostly bc it was so. fucking. hard to do#but the new nose jewelry i got is supposed to come with a thing that makes it easier to put the nose jewelry on#(the hard part is trying to put a flat back base in from the inside of the nose. cant see SHIT in there 😭)#man. facial piercings really arent for the squeamish. good thing im not scared of pain but it has even me like Eughhh#couldve been mitigated has i gone back to the piercer. but oh well. fuck it we ball 💪#ummm should i tag for this lol#gross/#😂
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I've expressed how I don't like the whole wally x y/n thing the fandom has going on but the more I think about it the more,,, uncomfortable it gets on my head
like, not as a self shipping thing, if ur in love with wally go fuckin nuts! I'm more talking about how like, y/n has become a character in the fanon
which firstly, who exactly is y/n supposed to be, in wallys eyes? it seems the person his voice messages are directed to is the playfellow workshop employee, and it's possible he doesn't know that that person is not us, the outsiders viewing but entirely uninvolved with the restoration. if he does know we're separate, then it's most likely he views us as the audience for welcome home. the thoughts of an adult character having a crush on the target audience of a young children's show is,,, uncomfortable.
even ignoring all that, and assuming he knows us as 1. not the playfellow employee, 2. adults, and 3. as multiple separate people (which throws another wrench into this. which one of us is y/n? is he just seeking the world's largest polycule here?), it just feels. odd for his character to be in love with the viewer. in the show, he's supposed to be an audience surrogate, isn't he? why would he be in love with the very person/people he's supposed to represent? it doesn't make much sense from a storytelling perspective to me.
finally, he doesn't show any signs of being romantically interested in us lmao. the closest we get is an "I love you", which, congrats, a children's show character said they love you. that happens platonically all the time lol
this isn't meant to like. rain on anyone's parade or discourage ppl making wally x y/n content (a lot of it is really cute! despite my overall negative feelings on the ship, I still sometimes enjoy looking at yalls art, yall are talented <333), more just. express frustration with how ingrained it is in the fanon. people seem to treat it as canon and its not and it can be frustrating seeing it absolutely everywhere, yk?
#welcome home puppet show#welcome home#wally darling#had to get thid out of my system sorry#if u do want a story where a character falls in love with u#good news!!! that exists!!! its called doki doki literature club#and it actually works there!!!#GOD do u know how hard it was to not mention monika in the main post???#yall arent free from her in the tags tho >:)#anyways it feels like ppl are trying to turn wally into monika (in love with us; flirtatious; obsessive; manipulative villain)#that has died down since the july update but i still see it#and bestie. monika worked bc she was in a dating sim video game#it makes sense for her to fall in love with us. to her there was only one and they would want romance bc they were playing a dating sim#that does not make sense for the main character of a children's show#i just. eugh#can we not just be besties with wally#i would not be this frustrated if it was just. a lot of content between wally and whoever y/n is supposed to be but platonic#that would actually make sense!!! hes lonely!!! he views himself as our friend!!!
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no.1 gust of arrows
commissions 🌠 ko-fi 🌠 patreon
some crops under the cut!
#dragon nest#dragon nest archer#dragon nest sniper#elf girl#artwork#2023#kumi#whew i actually finished the whole thing before 2023 ends#gonna post the full thing tmr#my account is still shadowbanned but nobody checks the dragon nest tag its fine lmao#this one was Hard to do i was still dealing with emotional fallout when i started and it took a while for the Will To Draw to actually#manifest. and by the end it still feels like something's missing eugh but my rational braincell decides that's all!! that's all we can do!!#i put a lot of work into this like 7+ hours for this quad and it's all done now. that's what's important
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thinking abt the previous post, the agency i worked at for a couple years would use bits of ABA and I just... I always nodded along to the boss instructing me on how to work with the kids with those tactics (I worked with the kids who were 6 and under) and then as soon as she left I tossed all that shit out of my brain and just treated the kid like a human being and worked with them where they were at.
and guess what !!! i had the most and fastest success out of every other worker in the entire building!! i was often told it seemed like i was working miracles with my kids bc they'd just progress so fast (comparatively) through the skill book we had to work on, and that the kids always seemed so happy and eager to come to the building after they started working with me!!
this is partially why I quit because I couldn't stand seeing my coworkers treat the kids like they were dogs (talking down to them, being patronizing, and utilizing shitty ABA tactics) and as much good as I was doing there, it was fucking me up bc they were extremely demanding that I work more than I was comfortable (or able) to, and often put me with "problem" kids who I didn't get to regularly see so we couldn't make much progress bc the kids weren't able to get to know me and (rightfully!) didn't trust me because they thought I'd be treating them the way everyone else did.
i just...... my coworkers would ask me how I had so much success and I would just shrug and say like, "just treat them like they're human and work with them where they're at" and I couldn't explain any more bc that'd require me admitting I wasn't following the boss' guidance for a lot of shit fjfkdl
#i had kids who didn't like talking suddenly become chatterboxes bc they actually felt safe and listened to for once !!!#(and ofc some kids just didnt like talking and that was okay bc they would talk when needed but just preferred to be quiet)#also yall i had no formal training for this 😭 i was thrown into the fray one day djfkdl i was supposed to just work as an admin assistant#it was just fucking bonkers there#kids had meltdowns sometimes bc the workers were so useless and didnt take the time to learn to read the child and they'd push too much#and they did things in ways that were sooo rigid so often like... if a kid is looking tired u gotta shift ur schedule around !!#but they'd just be like noooope this is our plan and we have to stick to it#my guy!! the child looks exhausted!!! they are fucking four years old !!! what the hell are u doing!!!#no four yr old is going to ever feel okay if u keep pushing them to do stuff they dont rly want to do when theyre tuckered out!!#anyways i could rant for hours abt that place lmfao#i still think abt the kids so often esp some of the ones with rough home lives#and i just rly rly hope theyre doing okay#but i cannot go back and help again bc that place destroyed me gjfkdl i hit autistic burnout HARD while there#and thats what ultimately forced me to quit#otherwise i probably would've stayed bc i rly wanted to give these kids someone safe to be around esp if their homes werent a v safe place#idk its so hard bc one person can't change the entire way things are (esp since i had no formal training)#but also if im not there then i know nobody else there is going to be knocking ABA to the side and treating the kids like whole ass humans!#eugh i hate thinking abt it bc I just... what the fuck do u do with a situation like that lmfao#i miss those kids sm though fjfkdl theyre all so cool and fun and rly good kids#i hope good things happen to them :')#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#ableism tw#aba tw
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applied for a job then on the thanks for ur application page it revealed by “full time” it meant Forty hours a week and im just like. hello. thats something you include up front
#rn i work 35 hours a week so like 😭😭😭#if i got this job it would technically be a pay cut and also id be spending money on travelling so like. eugh#but also its something i actually wanna do so… aaaaaaaa idk!!! idk
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FINALLY FINISHED NIGHTMARE TROUBADOUR!!! IT HAS BEEN OVER TWO YEARS!!!!!! anyway marik
#are you really sorry though…. are you.#also i don’t think that is healthy but okay!! you do that or whatever!!!#eugh the decks i have saved are all over the place#i really need to sit and just make one from scratch that actually works but. hhhhh reading card effects >_<#very happy regardless that i got to finish and experience this game lol#now to see if i can do that with capsule monsters. probably not#i got stuck on ishi’s stage and dropped it but i should really try playing it again!!#and then i gave up on forbidden memories after i kept losing against haga ahdkfhdksns#i’ll get around to them againnnn. eventually. maybe. >_>#anyway time to duel marik on loop so i can get him on my friends list ^^#also i finally get to duel ryou again!! yaaaay!!! i missed his silly little occult decks on this game#delete later#rainy.file
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big run in 7 hours…. shudders
#ghosts rambles#i will be doing some regular sr beforehand to get me going#idk if ill make a lobby so people can join me?? maybe?? id have 2 finnick with that.#my dumbass is gonna die a lot…. idk how itll WORK on undertow…. but thankfully its better than wahoo world. eugh#i actually might not sleep if it meants ill get silver or higher/ vp 999 this time… heh
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eeuuuguuguhhghh
#had to make variants of male characters' eye styles earlier and the only revision is so minor i wonder if its even necessary#theyre just !!! eyelashes wth!! everyone has them!!! dammit#unfortunately after this ill probably have to go back to actually doing 2d animating work whjkjksdghjdgs my supervisor apparently asked the#head sv to give me back because they desperately need more people on cleanup duty lmaooo#i think concept work was pretty fun though maybe ill consider going for that instead in college#eugh. also. college. im really gonna have to get my crap together and start considering some now huh#duck rants about something
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I am. so bored .
#understimulated#nd#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#fuck. brain is so empty. I feel sad. eugh#idk what do its either study or be online or maybe work on my knitting that is depressingly repetitive#I might also draw idk I like that last option#or imagine my f/o kissing me for like the millionth time.. or maybe spend time w a partner..#just need to get off the phone....
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just a little. almost rant below
very. hm. to me that lots of ppl on the internet are so comfortable trying to like. diagnose people with mental illness/etc or push certain labels in general(often microlabels that are just,,, unnecessary) when the person is already comfortable in their identity.
i get it in the case of someone specifically asking for help/input from others or perhaps in the case of physical illness(i got an anon a while back that brought to my attention that lupus is a thing and i was just like. wait. hang on a second). but if people express that they're already fine with how they label themselves don't go suggesting new things???
#and if its a case of. some freak just completely not getting the definition of a sexuality or something. just block and move on#the general obsession online lgbt+ communities have with labels is. eugh#i literally only id the way i do bc nb bi is. very broad. nb is an umbrella term and bi encompasses what i think i feel well enough#ppl constantly pitching microlabels to me when i was younger made it so much harder to actually discover myself too#also the notion that you can only REALLY have ever been one thing . like. ok what if i actually was [label] when i used that label???#what if i changed??????#also i dont inherently have anything against microlabels like. if defining your sexuality/gender in a specific way works for you go for it#not rlly my thing. though sometimes i may joke about being a gender hoarder lmao
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