#and then Netflix forgot that the whole point of Netflix was so I didn’t have to watch the movie the day it dropped

[memfys23]

I grew up with Napster and I remember thinking Netflix and Hulu aren’t perfect, but they seemed like the beginnings of a balanced world where people could access creative work and creators and studios could get paid and we could all sing under a rainbow together

yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you greedy fucks

[toppersjeep]

I’m Alright- Lando Norris X Reader

Summary: You are Landos wife and you went to watch the Vegas GP. Yours and Landos daughter is also with you. But you didn’t expect the crash to happen it leaves you to worry about everything.

___

y/n norris posted on instagram!

y/nnorris✔️: as you can see lily is very excited to watch her daddy race today. and ofc it’s just lan being lan in the second picture- tagged landonorris

Liked by 2.4 million

danielricciardo✔️: Little Norris is in the paddock everyone !!

alexalbon✔️: she’s gotten so big what heck

mclaren✔️: little lily norris our personal favorite of the family 🧡

charlesleclerc✔️: LILY I MISS U

landonorris✔️: got my lucky charms today :) my favorite girls

netflix✔️: mamma norris is back everyone

maxverstappen1✔️: she’s adorable

ln4✔️: Miss Lily 🥰🫶🏻

lewishamilton✔️: what a cutie

landonorris✔️: my baby girl 🥺

____

Your POV

“Daddy are you gonna win” Lily said. “I don’t know baby” Lando said picking lily up. “If you win can we get ice cream” she said I smiled. “With extra sprinkles” Lando said. “Yes.. because sprinkles are for winners” Lily said I laughed.

“We can get ice cream baby” I said. “Mommy with waffles” Lily said. “Waffles.. Lily” I asked. “Yeah like daddy’s favorite ones” Lily said. “I think I have some” Lando said looking around for his waffles. He then found his little bag of stroop waffles.

“Can I have one” she said. “Of course love” he said she took one out of the bag. He then set her down. “Mama here” she said giving me one. “Oh thank you baby” I said taking one. “Alright lily daddy’s gotta get in his race car” Lando said bending down to her. “Okay daddy good luck” she said he hugged her.

“I love you so very much” he said she kissed his cheek. “I love you too daddy” she said. “Alright baby let’s get our headsets” I said. “Excuse me Mommy you forgot about me” Lando said. I hugged him and kissed him. “I love you so much” I said.

“I love you more Y/N .. I’ll see you after the race” Lando said. We took our seats and looked at the monitors. Lily sat in my lap as we got ready to watch the race. Lily waved to Lando as he drove out of the garage. This was her second race she watched in person.

“You ready” I said. She pointed at the screen. “Daddy’s gonna win” she said I smiled. “I think so too” I said. “Lily are you excited” Zak asked. “Yes I like that car” she said pointing to the red Ferrari. “That’s uncle Charles” I said. “Cha” she said smiling. “Yes cha” I said.

We watched the race begin. Lando was moving up positions a little bit. He then came over the radio at one point.

“Hi lily baby I love you” Lando said over the radio. She smiled. “I love you” she said back. he laughed. We kept watching. But I saw Lando hit something and spin off. So I quickly covered Lily’s eyes. Zak tried to stand in front so she wouldn’t see.

“Lando are you okay” Dave said over the radio and he said nothing. I teared up. Please be okay. We need you. “Lando are you okay” Dave repeated. “.. ahh.. Yeah I’m .. okay” Lando said.

“Mommy what’s going on” Lily said. “Daddy spun off it’s okay” I said. “Daddy are you okay” Lily said. “I’m okay baby it’s alright” Lando said. We then waited for Lando to come back to the garage.

They wanted to get him checked out just to be safe. So he got up in the ambulance.

“Mommy is daddy okay” Lily said. “Yeah come on Lily” Lando said. We got into the ambulance and went to the hospital. Lando held her hand the whole way there. She was a little bit nervous.

Later on..

Lando got checked out and everything was okay. We waited in the room at the hospital. Lily had fallen asleep with her head on my lap.

“She didn’t see that right” Lando said. “No.. I covered her eyes” I said. “I was just worried about her and you” he said. “I was so worried too” I said. “It was scary even more so knowing she was watching” Lando said. “Yeah” I said softly as Lily snored. Lando chuckled.

“She snores like you” Lando said. “Oh I know she had a busy day” I said. “She’s so precious how’d we make such a cutie” Lando said. “I know I came believe she’ll be five soon” I said. “I kinda miss the baby phase” Lando said.

“Oh you do” I said. “Yeah I do now she’s a little independent” Lando said. “Well good news is we’ll have another baby in like nine months so” I said. “Really” Lando said smiling. “Mmmh” I said. “Come here” Lando said.

Lily then woke up.

“Daddy” Lily said waking up and going over to Lando. “Hi lovey” Lando said holding her. “Lily guess what” I said sitting on the bed with them. “What” Lily said. “You are gonna be a big sister” Lando said. “Really I am” she said smiling. “Yes you might get a sister or a brother” I said.

“Yay… I want a baby brother” Lily said. “You do” I said. “Yeah or sister” she said smiling. “Are you excited then” I asked. “Yes but where do babies come from” Lily said. Lando and I looked at each other. “Uhhh well mommy carries the baby in here” Lando said pointing to my stomach.

“Did she eat it” Lily said I laughed. “No no honey” I said. “Oh so it’s magic” Lily asked. “Yes it’s magic lily” Lando said. “That’s cool” Lily said hugging me. “Yes it is” I said. “I can’t wait” Lily said super excited. “Do you think mommy will have a boy or girl” Lando said.

“Ummmm.. I don’t know I hope a boy or a girl” Lily said. “We can decorate a room too what do you think” I said. “I wanna help” Lily said. “Of course you can mommy and daddy will need help” Lando said. “Okay” Lily said.

~~~~~

[ningningsdream]

everyone’s but no one’s | n.jm

pairing: fuckboy!jaemin x college student!reader (ft. sungchan)

genre: college!au, roommates-to-lovers!au, fluff, angst

word count: 19.4k

description: in which your roommate is the guy every girl on campus either slept with or want to sleep with and you have had bad experiences with fuckboys before.

warning(s): alcohol, mention of sex, mention of past relationship traumas (cheating, lying)

taglist; @thatanonymousgirl-as14 @sugazwrld​ (only tagged the people that seemed to be active still, tell me if you want to be removed or added for the next ones)

a/n: this is apart of my new series of roommates-to-lovers with the dreamies, sweet life. i feel like this one is so messy.

main masterlist

suddenly changing university in the middle of your first year was definitely something you didn’t plan but unfortunately the course you chose for your second semester was suddenly moved to their other uni in seoul and apparently they ‘forgot’ to inform the students so a bunch of you had to prepare to move to seoul for the last or change your course. you took some time to decide because you really wanted to stay where you were. the uni was not that far from your house, so you didn’t need to move into a dorm which save you lots of money but on the other hand, you were really excited for that course. so you decided to pack enough clothes for a few days and went to seoul during your summer break, in search of a place to stay.

once you were in seoul, you quickly visited the university you were soon going to attend and asked the secretary if there was any way for you to know if someone on campus needed a roommate. the male assistant directed you towards a board where papers with numbers of students searching for a roommate were scatter. you picked a few tickets with numbers on them along with a picture of their respective flyer.

all you wanted was to find someone nice enough to accept you as a roommate, someone you could maybe be friends with and hang out with. you didn't expect to 'audition' to be one, but at this point, you spent almost your whole summer break looking for a place to stay and you were desperate. you’ve called multiple people, but it seemed like the university didn’t update the board at all because most of the people you ended up calling had either already found someone or moved out of their old place. only one person responded positively to your call but what happened afterwards was pretty unusual. you had to answer multiple questions and pass multiple 'rounds' to finally have someone telling you they'll call you back. you were almost sure you went to the wrong place until one day, when you were watching netflix on the couch of your airbnb, someone called you and told you that you were 'selected' to be the new roommate.

you thought that the process was really weird, i mean who says, 'you've been selected to move in'.

at first, you thought that maybe it was all a scam and that maybe you were going to be kidnap but the guy who asked you all the questions seemed to be around your age and quite nice.

the next day, you took your suitcase, that contained all the things you could bring to seoul, and took a taxi to your new apartment. the building was pretty far from your university, so you had to take the public transportation, but you were okay with it because it was the only place that was available and affordable for your broke ass. it was a pretty simple apartment building with two elevators and a guard. you thanked god for the entrance that was facing an open street rather than an alleyway.

you knocked on the door with one hand while the other one was resting on the mini pepper spray in your pocket just in case. a pretty cute guy opened the door greeting you with a smile, ”oh you must be y/n, right?”, he asked after spotting your suitcase. you nodded and he stepped aside, opening the door wider for you to come in.

“nice to meet you...?”

“jaemin, na jaemin.”, he gave you the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen.

“nice to meet you, jaemin. not to be rude but are you living here too? i thought the guy who asked me all the questions the other day was the only one living here.”

“oh, chenle? nah, his apartment is much nicer than this one. i just asked him to take in some candidatures while i was working and from what i've heard he went a little overboard with the interviews...”

you chuckled at his words. 'overboard' was indeed a way to describe chenle's method.

jaemin then showed you your room and you were happy that it already had all the furniture you needed so that you wouldn’t have to waste more time furniture shopping. you told your new roommate that all of your other stuff were arriving tomorrow just so that he wouldn’t be surprised by the temporary mess that will be present in the living room in a few hours.

you woke up to an empty apartment and a note on the kitchen counter.

hey, i went to work and i’ll be back this afternoon. i made breakfast, it’s still on the stove. enjoy~ -your cute roommate ;)

you tasted the food jaemin left for you, and it was surprisingly really good. you didn’t expect him to be that good of a cook.

when you received a call from the driver of the moving truck your parents hired, you immediately made your way down to the front of the building and were welcomed by a nice looking man by the name of taeil, he even helped you carry them in and out of the elevator on your floor. you thanked the man as he left and started to carry your boxes from the hallways into your living room. after some time, you really started to curse yourself for having so many things, your arms started to ache and your back started to hurt a little. you almost had a heart attack every time the elevator opened and one of your neighbors stepped out, giving you a weird look.

“oh my god, you scared me!”, you jumped at the sudden interruption in your silence, almost dropping the box in your hands, “do you want some help?”, he said, holding his arms out so you could give him the box.

“it’s okay, i’m almost done anyway.”, you gave the stranger a smile.

“alright. i’m hyunjin by the way. you’re jaemin’s new roommate, right?”

“yeah, are you going to seoul marketing as well?"

hyunjin nodded, "what are you majoring in?"

"international exchange and you?"

"business administration.", he answered as you arrived in front of your respective door, "well see around and...good luck...with jaemin.", he smirked, knowingly.

you furrowed your eyebrows, understanding that he was implying something but not knowing what it was, "what do you mean?"

"well...you know...", he smiled, eyes expressing something you couldn't decipher. upon seeing the look on your face, his expression changed to one of confusion, "you don't?"

"i just transfer from the gwangju branch so i don't really know anything about what's going on here."

"oooh.", hyunjin nodded as he understood now why you didn't know what everybody knew, "well, jaemin's a pretty notorious fuckboy and you being...", he said, his hand showing you.

" i see. i'll keep that in mind, thanks.", you said before entering your new apartment.

you really couldn't escape them, could you?

"hey, roommie! dinner's ready!", jaemin called you from the kitchen.

you walked into the kitchen confused as you saw jaemin setting two plates down onto the small table for two.

"oh. you didn't have to. i was going to order something.", you said, feeling guilty.

"i'm saving you money. we're student, we're broke."

jaemin wasn't wrong. you didn't often eat out but since you spent your whole day opening boxes and arranging your room, you were too tired to make yourself something to eat, plus, you didn't have time to go grocery shopping.

"you should have called me to help you.", you said.

"it's alright. consider this a welcome diner.", he smiled in a way that made you wonder how that soft face of his could be one of a fuckboy.

you sat opposite him and looked at the pasta dish in front of you.

"i made gochugang pasta."

"gochugang pasta?"

the combo sounded weird to you but gochugang and pasta were good separately so why not together. you picked up the fork by your plate and tasted jaemin's dish. you didn't notice but he patiently waited for your reaction. as soon as the pasta touched your taste buds, your eyes widened in surprise. you chew and nodded at the same time, "woah. that's really good!", you complimented.

jaemin smiled in satisfaction, saying, "glad you like it, i got the recipe from a friend."

you continued to eat in silence for a while before jaemin broke it, "what are you majoring in?"

"international exchange, what about you?", you asked.

"retail communication. why did you...transfer here, if you don't mind me asking?", jaemin was quite hesitant to ask since it could be a sensitive topic.

"a course i chose for this semester was moved to seoul so i decided to move with it. it was either that or change it to something boring so..."

"i see. tomorrow's your first day, right? i can give you a ride to campus if you want."

"oh you don't have to-"

"i insist. it'll be dumb to let you use public transports when i can just drive you. it's not like it's somewhere i wasn't going too."

"thanks...again."

what your neighbor told you have been on your mind the moment you closed the door to your apartment after speaking with him. you've frequented a handful of fuckboys in your life so you knew to stay away from them. you didn't know what type of fuckboy jaemin's was yet but you sure were going to be careful and not get involve more than necessary with him.

the next day when you arrived on campus with jaemin by your side, some people stared at the two of you, whispering among themselves, thinking you wouldn't be able to hear.

"who is that?"

"probably his new toy of the moment."

"too bad, i was hoping it'll be my turn."

"just wait a week and he'll be over her."

you rolled your eyes, annoyed by all the stares and whispers. you really hated how people could be so foul behind your back. jaemin noticed and felt guilty since his reputation was impacting you.

"you know the way to your first class, right?", jaemin asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts. you nodded, taking your schedule out of your tote bag, "okay, see you later, ROOMMATE.", he almost shouted the last word, shutting down all whispers. you smiled at him in gratitude before walking to your first class of the semester.

you took a seat in the middle rows of the auditorium waiting for the class to start.

"hey. is this place available?", someone asked, pointing to the seat next to yours. you nodded and the person smiled at you, sitting down, "i'm ryujin, by the way. everyone seemed to be with their own friends so i hope you don't mind me being next to you."

"not at all. i actually just transferred here so i literally just know my roommate."

"oh really?"

"i'm y/n, by the way."

"who's your roommate? maybe i know them."

"everyone seems to know him...", you said, "na jaemin is my roommate."

"oh.", ryujin's eyes widen as she stayed silent for a second, her lips forming the letter 'o'.

"is he that bad?"

"he is not bad...just very very popular."

"i heard he was a fuckboy but i didn't think it would be that big of a thing. people stared at me when we arrived together this morning, like we were some kind of reality show or something."

"he's not just 'a' fuckboy, he's 'the' fuckboy. he practically put out of business 90% of the fuckboys in this uni."

"what really?", you didn't know if you should be impressed or disgusted.

ryujin nodded at your statement, "everyone knows though that if they get with him, it's not gonna last. of course, some are still delusional and think they can 'change him'."

you nodded, acknowledging her words. you couldn't judge those girls, having been of that same path too many times.

your professor entered the room, silencing every conversation going on. you focused on your class, pushing all thoughts concerning your roommate to the back of your mind.

going grocery shopping after class, want to come?

jaemin texted you during your last class.

sure

you responded. you needed to go grocery shopping anyway since you just moved in and had nothing to feed yourself at the apartment. so you found yourself in the snack aisle with jaemin by your side, helping him debate whether or not he should buy two packets of gummies or only one.

"you know what? take your time. i'll go get some other things.", you said before walking to another aisle.

after five good minutes on debating with himself, jaemin put one gummy packet down and went on his way to find you with the shopping cart. he spotted you in front of a sample stand, jumping up and down, looking at what an ahjumma was making.

"what got you all excited, bunny?", he asked with a grin as he stopped the shopping cart near you.

you didn't notice the nickname he called you, being too focused on the ahjumma, "they have those dumplings here!", you said, excitedly pointing at the food, "i grew up eating those."

the ahjumma smiled at your excitement and so did jaemin. she cut a piece of dumpling in two, stabbing them with two toothpicks.

"here, try it.", you handed one to jaemin as you ate yours, but the boy just ate it from the toothpick you were holding instead of taking it himself, making you feed him, "woah, tastes just like i remember it. do we have some place in the freezer?"

jaemin thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"i'll take two bags of these, please!", you smiled at the ahjumma.

"aigoo~ aren't you two a cute couple? your girlfriend is really cute!", she cooed, giving jaemin the bags of dumplings.

your eyes widened at the remark, ready to politely correct the lady but jaemin beat you to it, "yeah, isn't she?"

that wasn't what you expected him to say. you gave him a look of confusion as he ignored you, smiling at the ahjumma.

"aigoo~ here, take this!", she handed you a coupon for a discount on the dumplings you were going to buy.

"thank you!", you both bowed to the older woman before walking away.

"what was that?", you asked.

"what was what?"

"that whole girlfriend/couple thing?"

"calm down. didn't want to make the ahjumma sad, did you? plus, we got a discount. a friend of mine told me things like that work."

you two got in line to pay your groceries and when jaemin put a separator between his snacks and your groceries, you removed it, saying, "i'll pay for your snacks."

"no, it's fine.", he said, reaching out for the separator you put back but you stopped by grabbing his wrist.

"i'm paying. take it as a thank you for the dinner last night and for driving me to uni today."

"well, you're welcome, and thank you.", jaemin smiled.

you understood why jaemin was so popular. you just had to look at him. his dyed blonde hair always looked perfect, having that messy but sexy style. his personality seemed sweet as well, at least on the outside. if you'd have met him a couple years back, you would have totally fell for him.

"by the way, i usually go grocery shopping on saturdays, every other week. just tell me if you'll want to tag along.", jaemin told you.

"hey, bunny, we're having a movie night wanna join?", jaemin asked you, popping his head in your room through your door.

"who's we? and stop with the nicknames.", you whined, getting up from your bed and opening your door fully before getting out.

"how can i when your reaction's so cute?", jaemin said, making you roll your eyes.

one thing you learned about jaemin from living with him 24/7 was that it was in his second nature to flirt. one of his flirting habits was giving people nicknames. he had called you many since you started living together. from roommie to babe to baby to bunny. bunny was the one he used the most on daily basis. it was weird at first since you thought he was hitting on you or something but you learned that it was just something he was used to doing when you heard him call other people nicknames as well. it even made you wonder if he didn't just forget the names.

"does he always have to be like that?", you asked no one in particular as you walked to the living room.

"always and that's not the worse of him.", a third party sitting on your couch said.

"jeno, this is bunny. bunny, this is my friend, jeno."

"i'm y/n.", you quickly corrected, "so what are we watching?"

"the last violet evergarden movie."

"ooh, so we're gonna need tissues.", you walked to the kitchen table and grabbed the box of tissues on it to put it on your coffee table in front of your couch.

you didn't expect the first person to shed tears to be jaemin. he was full on sobbing, monopolizing the box of tissue to himself. jeno and you gave each other a look before looking back at jaemin who was sitting between the two of you.

"aiya, stop sobbing so hard, we can't hear the movie.", you joked, patting his shoulder.

"you can read the subtitles. i'm saaaad!", jaemin whined while dropping side ways, his head landing on your lap as he kicked his feet on jeno's lap. you were surprised by the gesture at first and looked at jeno to see his reaction.

his friend looked like he was used to it and kept watching the movie. feelings eyes on him, he turned to face you and you just looked down at jaemin and back at jeno with a questioning look.

'you'll get used to it.', jeno mouthed to you before returning his attention to the tv.

you sighed, looking down at the boy on your lap, "get snot on my pajamas and i'll make you cry harder than this movie.", you warned, even thought your whispers were soft, your threat was very real.

you put your hands on top of his head, having no where else to put them since jaemin literally took all the space that was available. your focus was back on the movie completely forgetting jaemin's head until you realized one of your hands was stroking his hair softly. you immediately stopped the habit you picked up through your years of dating and crossed your arms over your chest to stop yourself from doing it again. you thought you heard a whine before jaemin raised one of his arms and waved it around in your direction. you frowned, grabbing it to stop him from hitting you right in the face by inadvertence. jaemin's other hand grabbed your hand holding his arm and put it back in his hair. you didn't move at first, not really sure of what he wanted. jaemin started moving his head around and you finally understood, he just wanted you to play with his hair again. it's been a while since you've been this domestic and to be honest you kind of missed it.

no.

stop thinking about that.

when the credits started rolling, jaemin sat right up, declaring, "i need to drink and talk about my feelings.", he was being dramatic about the feelings part and just wanted to chitchat.

"i don't drink but i'm down for the talk.", you shrugged.

"sorry, gotta go. roommate emergency.", jeno said, raising his phone.

jeno bid his goodbyes and left your roommate and you alone, "still down for drinks and gossip?", jaemin asked you.

"sure.", you said from the couch, stretching your legs on it.

"what do you want to drink?", jaemin asked from the kitchen as he stood in front of the open fridge.

"i bought a bottle of peach juice. it's coral."

"got it!", you heard him open your cupboards in search for glasses, "do you want a glass, a cup or...?"

"just give me a soju glass as well.", your turned to look at jaemin to see him already looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, "what? it's so you wouldn't feel alone."

"gee, thanks.", jaemin said, sarcastically, as he made his way back to the living room.

"thank you.", you said, as jaemin put everything down onto the table.

"you don't drink at all?"

"i do drink sometimes. i cut back on the alcohol because i used to drink my brains out and forget everything that happened after my fifth drink.", you sat up, reaching for the bottle of peach juice.

"understandable. what kind of drunk are you?", jaemin asked, sitting on the couch.

"from what i heard, i'm quite the hoe but again i was always horny so that may have contributed. i haven't been drunk in a while, you? what kind of drunk is the infamous fuckboy na jaemin?"

jaemin rolled his eyes at the title, "you can say i'm quite the hoe as well."

"shocker.", you said, sarcastically.

jaemin rolled his eyes again, "not nice, bunny. i just get clingy. don't mind me if i start hugging you, you can just push me away."

"i'm fine with that as long as you don't try to get in my pants."

"me? i'm not like that, bunny.", he said jokingly making you two laugh, "more seriously, when i'm drunk drunk, i'm never horny, that's why i don't drink a lot at parties.", he winked at the end which made you make an exaggerated gagging expression.

"anyway, how have you been acclimating so far?"

"good. i made some friends, shin ryujin and yoo jimin.", you stopped in your story, as something came to your mind, "did you fuck them?"

"mmmh, haven't fucked them...yet.", he said the last word with a grin after moving his upper body closer to you.

"you're disgusting.", you said, pushing his head back.

"i was jokiiing!", he whined, rubbing his forehead and taking a shot of soju as you rolled your eyes.

"so what's your fuckboy story?", you asked, sipping on your peach juice.

"fuckboy story?", jaemin looked at you with a confused look. you could see he was already a bit tipsy thanks to his rosy cheeks.

"every fuckboy has that one girl that broke them so much that they take their revenge by using the rest of the female population?"

"that's...", jaemin stopped himself, struggling to find a word to describe what he wanted to say, "anyway, i don't have one.", he said, giving up.

"what do you mean you don't have one? you're just being a jerk without any reason?"

"you're hurting my little heart with your harsh words.", jaemin said, placing his hands on the left side of his chest with a pout on his face.

jaemin looked really cute right now. you had to give him credit when it was due.

"do you even have one?", you were only joking when you said this but then jaemin started to bawl his eyes out. you thought he was joking at first, but when the tears didn't stop, you started to wonder if the two bottles of soju he just consumed made him more sensitive, "woah, woah, woah. i was just joking! stop crying, please?", you panicked. you put your glass down and scooted closer to your roommate, "jaemin, stop please.", you shook his shoulders softly to get his attention but he didn't stop, continuing to sob loudly, "pretty, pleeaase?", you decided to stroke his ego and it worked.

the cries suddenly stopped and jaemin looked at you with a big smile, "you called me pretty!"

you looked at him with a deadpanned look on your face, "come on. time to stop drinking. it's getting late and you're obviously drunk.", you grabbed your two empty glasses and bottles of soju along with your peach juice and put them away in the kitchen, quickly washing the glasses.

you expected jaemin to be sleeping in his room after you finished tidying things up but he was still sitting on the couch.

"jaemin...what did i say?", you put your fists on your hips like a mom scolding her child.

"but i don't want to sleep.", jaemin whined.

"we have class tomorrow, you have to sleep."

"bu-"

"no buts. come on.", you grabbed his wrist and pulled him up. thankfully, he didn't resist at all or you'd have struggled a lot more with your non existent strength.

you tucked him in bed and turned around to go back to your room but jaemin stopped you, asking, "where are you going?"

"back to my room? to sleep?"

"why can't you sleep here?", jaemin whined, patting the empty space next to him.

"because we're not that close."

"why can't we be?"

"because.", you saw jaemin pout even more at your answer and sighed. you walked towards him again and patted his head, "goodnight, jaemin. i'm going to choke you if you don't go to sleep."

"i'd like that.", jaemin muttered before closing his eyes and cuddling into his covers.

that night you discovered a new side to your roommate and you much preferred that side to the one he usually showed. and jaemin kept thinking about your question. that one girl he will never forget.

"hey, bunny. i'm going out, don-", jaemin shouted from the living room but got interrupted by you walking into room with a different than usual kind of outfit on.

"oh, you're going out too? is it 127's party?", you asked after looking at his outfit.

"yeah...", he didn't really listen to what you were saying, he just heard your last words and guessed that you were talking about the party. his eyes were too busy, scanning your figure. you were wearing a black bodycon dress with a long mesh top underneath, knee high platforms and your makeup was more suited to a night outing.

you noticed jaemin staring when you continued talking but he didn't seem to respond, and rolled your eyes, "can you turn off your fuckboy mode for one second?"

"i just didn't know you could dress up like that, princess.", the smirk on his face made you roll your eyes one more time, "what were you saying?"

"i'm going to sleep at ryujin and jimin's tonight and are you heading to the party now? to know if you could give me a ride.."

you ended up going with jaemin, texting jimin that she didn't have to pick you up. when you arrived at the party and managed to find your friends, you never saw jaemin again at that party.

since you didn't drink anymore, you were automatically the designated driver. jimin gave you her keys and the three of you had a lot of fun all night.

you met ryujin on your first day on campus and you two got along immediately. she was the one who caught you up on all the dramas going on on campus. that same day, you met jimin, ryujin's friend and roommate, who also became your friend. she was like a mom to you and took great care of ryujin and you, her two insufferable children. the two of them were worried about you living with the uni's ultimate fuckboy at first but you reassured them by telling them that you had no interest in a frugal relationship and their worries decreased as the weeks went by.

jimin was the one from whom you've learned more about jaemin's past. it was during lunch when you witnessed a scene between jaemin and his, then, current hook up. she had slapped him and ran away, hiding her face, probably crying.

"poor girl. another victim on na jaemin's list.", ryujin said, shaking her head before returning to her food.

"it's crazy how things can change.", jimin said, eyes following the girl who ran out of the cafeteria.

"what do you mean?", you asked her.

"i was in high school with jaemin and he wasn't like that back then.", you gave her a look that meant you wanted to know more, "he was quite popular back then as well but he always declined every confession he received, all really politely without sleeping with them first or anything. rumors spread about him dating someone secretly or having a crush on someone."

after hearing that, you found your roommate more mysterious than you thought him to be. at first, he seemed like some random fuckboy but the more you saw of him, the more he intrigued you.

a slap on your shoulder caught your attention.

"i don't feel so good...", ryujin screamed for you and jimin to hear as you three were dancing in the middle of the crowd.

you two stopped and looked at your friend, worried, "told you to not drink that last mix you made.", you said, shaking your head.

"do you want to throw up?", jimin asked.

ryujin shook her head, "no, i think i just need some fresh air."

"you go out front, first. i'll grab some water.", you said to jimin who seemed to still be able to act and think clearly.

luckily, the kitchen's fridge was also filled with some water bottles so you grabbed three and closed the door. turning around, you almost bumped into someone.

"oh!", the other person grabbed your shoulders to stop you from falling backwards, "i was going to ask you if you wanted a drink but i see that you helped yourself already.", the boy in front of you smiled.

you looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out if you knew him or not and he seemed to have picked up on it, "i'm sungchan by the way. we're in some classes together."

you nodded with a smile, "i'm y/-"

"y/n, yeah, i know.", he interrupted you, "sorry, i've been meaning to come and talk to you sooner but never seemed to know what to say.", he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. you thought he was cute.

"i'm sorry, i really have to get these to my friends.", you said, really apologetically, "but feel free to come and talk to me and my friends whenever.", you smiled before walking away. you hoped he'll come talk to you in class.

you made your way to the front yard of the frat house where ryujin and jimin were waiting for you. ryujin was lying on the grass with jimin by her side.

"hey, sorry i bumped into someone.", you said, giving them a water bottle each, "how are you feeling?"

"better.", ryujin said after gulping down 1/3 of the bottle.

"i just realized that this is our first party together.", jimin said.

"i must admit, i'm not much of a party girl anymore.", you said.

"oh really?", ryujin asked with wide eyes.

"yeah. i was the worse. i'm a lightweight but i used to drink so much, it was insane. sometimes i wonder how am i even still alive.", you joked.

"woah, i'd never think you'd be that kind of girl if you didn't tell me.", jimin commented.

"yeah, me neither."

"why did you stop?", jimin asked.

"drinking and partying too much led me to make many bad decisions on the moment.", you vaguely answered, not really in the mood to go in detail.

"i also just realized something.", ryujin said as she seemed to have sober up, "you never talk about your past. i mean you just transferred here in the middle of the year. you must miss your parents, your friends,..."

"not really. my life has been quite lonely so far.", you smiled even though it wasn't a cheerful nor happy one, "i'm glad i found you guys though.", ryujin and jimin reached out for your hand and you three stayed in a comfortable silence while holding hands, until you broke it, "do you know a sungchan?"

"who? sungchan?", ryujin tapped the side of her head, trying to remember where she heard that name before, "isn't he in one of our classes or something like that?"

"that's what he said when i bumped into him earlier, along with how he wanted to come talk to me but never could."

jimin and ryujin gave each other a look before turning back to you with a mischievous smile.

"don't start.", you warned.

"you did by asking about him.", jimin teased.

"i just wanted to know if i should be careful around him."

"from what i heard, or rather not heard, he doesn't seem to be the type to break many hearts around campus.", jimin said.

the rest of the night was kind of a blur to your two friends but you did get them home safely, tucking them in bed and leaving a bucket on the side for them to use if they ever need to urgently throw up. you were supposed to stay but you really wanted to lay in your bed and you also didn't want to take care of the vomit if there ever was. you loved these girls but your friendship limit was puke. you left jimin a note, saying that you were going to take her car to drive home and that'll you'd give it back to her the next day.

once you've drove home, parked the car, got into your building and took the elevator, you stood in front of your apartment door, rummaging through your small bag, looking for your keys, "shit."

your apartment building had a really safe security system, where you needed a special badge in order to tap in the code to your home. you facepalmed yourself, remembering the exact events that led you to being left outside your own apartment. you always put your keys on the small table next to the entrance. the moment you were putting everything in your bag was also the moment you noticed jaemin staring at you. with the conversation going on with your roommate, you forgot to take your keys on your way out.

you grabbed your phone and looked for jaemin's contact. you wondered if he was still at the party or fucking someone right now. in case it was the latter, you chose to text him.

hey, i went home but forgot my keys

if you're home, open the door when your done with whoever

if you're not then hurry when you're done?

im sorry, i'll make it up to you if i ruined anything

you waited, waited and waited. your phone was almost out of battery so you decided to not use it, just in case, jaemin called you to tell you he had a magical spare key hidden somewhere. you even contemplated ringing your neighbor's doorbell but you didn't know him and it'd be weird.

your eyes were getting heavier and heavier. you tried not to fall asleep but it was getting harder every minute that passed by. your greatest mistake was allowing your eyes to close, 'resting them for five minutes'.

jaemin was checking his phone on his way out of his last night's hook up's place when his eyes widened as he saw all your messages from the previous night or rather 2am. he rushed to his car and drove back to your shared apartment as fast as he could, almost hitting a grandma on the way. drive carefully everyone.

the elevator seemed to be extremely slow at that particular moment. when it finally arrived at your floor, jaemin rushed out, his eyes landed on you, sitting on the floor, back against your shared apartment door.

"y/n! y/n!", jaemin shook you awake.

you whined, trying to curl up on yourself.

jaemin took his badge out, beeping it on the machine next to your door and taping in the digicode. jaemin moved your back from the door to open it then proceeded to carry you bridal style.

"wooh, why am i flying?!", you panicked, immediately opening your eyes to be met with your roommate's face. you almost jumped out of his arms.

"calm down, bunny. don't hop, you're gonna hurt yourself.", jaemin smiled at you, "your hands are really cold. your whole body is."

you didn't notice your hands on the back of his neck as you instinctively tried to hold onto something, feeling your body levitating.

it's about to get really hot if you don't let me down, you thought.

"put me down, please?", you asked, almost in a whisper. your throat felt really dry, having drank nothing since you left the party.

jaemin let go of you and watched you go pour yourself a glass of water as he closed your apartment door, "i thought you were sleeping at ryujin and jimin's?"

"i was supposed to, but i didn't feel like dealing with them throwing up in the middle of the night so i went home. where were you? i thought you would have taken the chance of having the apartment to yourself to bring someone over.", you said, feeling rehydrated by the water you just drank.

"i never bring people home.", jaemin clarified.

"why?"

"feels too intimate. it's my personal space."

"i see. well, i'm going to take a hot shower and sleep for awhile. if jimin drop by, tell her i parked her car near the waffle place and give her these.", you said, showing him jimin's keys before putting them on the little dinner table.

after that night, you were careful to check if you had your keys on you every time you left the house and jaemin made sure he was home after every party. even if it meant leaving the pretty stranger he just hooked up and cuddled with for some time. he wanted to make sure that whatever happened that night, never happen again. he wanted to make sure his roommate made it home safe every night.

"hey, y/n.", a voice said, as the person sat next to you while you were talking with ryujin.

"oh, hey! sungchan, right?", you greeted. the boy nodded with a little smile, "this is my friend, ryujin."

the two greeted each other with a nod.

"you don't mind me sitting here, right?", sungchan asked, talking about the seat his actually occupying.

"it's fine. it's usually just the two of us.", you replied.

"how come we've never seen you around uni before?", ryujin asked. even though the university was pretty big, someone who looked like sungchan wouldn't go unnoticed and ryujin knew she would've heard about him at least once.

"oh, i just transferred here this semester-"

"oh? you too?", you interrupted him in shock.

"you transferred here too?", sungchan asked you with wide eyes.

you nodded, "i thought i was the only one. everyone kept telling me i was crazy."

"us too! i transferred here with my friend, shotaro."

"oh? you're friend with shotaro?", ryujin suddenly asked. the boy nodded even though he seemed confused, "he's going out with my friend, chaeryeong. even though she says they are just hanging out 'as friend' for now."

"aaaah, chaeryeong! shotaro can't stop talking about her for real, i almost want to choke him every time.", sungchan joked.

"whoa, we're really living in a small world.", you laughed.

you three stopped talking when the professor entered the room, focusing on his class and what he said.

after your class, the three of you walked to the cafeteria for lunch, "want to join us for lunch?", you asked sungchan.

"sure, can shotaro come?"

"why not.", you shrugged.

"oh i'll text chaeryeong and tell her to come as well."

"oh! good idea!", sungchan and ryujin high fived each other and got on their phone to text their respective friend which made you smile.

after getting some food, you joined jimin at your usual table, "jimin-aaaah, i missed you.", ryujin cooed at her friend.

"we saw each other this morning.", jimin replied, making ryujin pout playfully.

they were joined later on by shotaro and chaeryeong who seemed taken aback when they saw each other at first but then casually slipped into a conversation of their own.

"oh my god! you had mr.kim too?!", you said as sungchan and you started talking about your old uni.

"mmh! he was my favorite i think. his way of grading paper was the funniest."

"right?! his comments were always so interesting."

"one time he wrote 'this doesn't make any sense but i see what you mean and that scares me'. i still wonder if it's a good thing or not."

you laughed at his anecdote along with him.

"i think i kept all the papers he graded because it was just too funny to throw away. once he wrote 'i am not convinced' and three lines after that he wrote 'you convinced me'. mr kim was just the best for those kind of things."

you kept talking about uni related stuff as well as the restaurants and shops surrounding the area. you found out that you had quite a lot of things in common and he was quite an easy guy to talk to.

after a long day of what seemed like endless classes and a dinner at ryujin and jimin's place, you finally got to type in the digicode to your home. you lazily hung your coat at the entrance and removed your shoes to slip your slippers on.

you didn't expect to see jaemin drinking alone in the living room.

"hey, you okay?", you asked him as he seemed to be in some kind of trance, not even noticing your arrival.

jaemin quickly snapped out of it, quickly turning his head away from you, hands reaching for his eyes. you were alarmed by his actions and quickly made your way towards the couch. you tried to look at his face but he turned his head back the other way. you sighed and tried to turn him back towards you but he resisted. you ended grabbing his head and turning his face forcefully towards you. you wonder how you didn't snap his neck. you got worried when you saw his bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks, "what happened?", you asked, sitting down next to him.

jaemin didn't answer but his mouth quickly turned into a pout and his eyes filled with tears again. you brought him in your arms and gently patted his head, letting your roommate cry in the crook of your neck.

you two weren't the closest roommates ever but you did consider him your friend. you've been living together for a few months now and had spent quite some time together from grocery shopping to cooking together to having a special night at least once a week or every two weeks to watch bridgerton together. you two grew quite fond of the show and always ended sharing the same plaid and talking about the relationships in the show.

you've never seen him cry for something else than a character death or three seconds of sad background music during an intense moment of your show, so that was new to you.

"is it that hard to believe that i am capable of getting in a relationship?", he said as he let go of you a little so you could see his face and hear him.

"well..."

jaemin sobbed even harder. it wasn't your intention to make him cry or hurt him, you just never thought that dating was something that jaemin considered, with his reputation. you thought he just wanted to live his youth.

"hey, what happened?", you asked softly.

jaemin didn't answer you and just held onto you tighter. you ran your hand through his hair in comfort, not knowing what else to do.

"you can come and talk to me anytime you want you know. i'll listen.", you offered.

you felt jaemin nod but he never told you why he cried that night.

"hurry, bunny or i'm starting without you.", jaemin shouted from the living room as you were in the kitchen. you poured the popcorn into a bowl while reading the text sungchan just sent you. jaemin noticed you smiling while holding the bowl of popcorn in one hand and typing on your phone with your other hand. he got curious when you handed him the bowl and sat next to him, not even giving him a look and still typing away on your phone.

"who are you texting?", jaemin asked in a teasing tone.

"sungchan.", you answered, putting your phone away.

"are you close? you smiled like an idiot while texting him.", he said, poking your cheek and side as he teased you.

"yah! stop!", you tried to stop his poking but failed as he managed to poke you still. after some fighting action, you managed to stop his two hands by grabbing his wrists. you pulled yourself closer to him, leaning on his side before letting go of him to grab the bowl of popcorn, "we're just friends.", you said, referring to sungchan, "he wouldn't want to date me.", you grabbed the remote and pressed play.

"why would you say that? you're a 100% dateable."

"not really.", you muttered under your breath.

it wasn't that you thought you weren't dateable. your view of love was just different from what people your age would consider normal. you've had so many failed and toxic relationship that you were scared that it was the only type of relation you could have. you also wanted something most people were scared of, even though they would never admit it; commitment.

you had gotten to know sungchan these past few weeks and you two had become quite close friends. ryujin and jimin were telling you that sungchan and you would be a really cute couple but you denied every time. not because you weren't attracted to him but as you got to know him, you discovered that he was totally the type of person you would've wanted to be your first boyfriend. he seemed too pure hearted for you to risk breaking his heart.

"you're crushing my shoulder.", jaemin complained next to you.

"could've just push me away.", you dramatically said, flying to the other end of the couch.

"nooo, come back.", he pulled onto your arm to bring you closer to him again but he pulled harder than you expected and you literally flew right onto him. your eyes went wide as you realized the position you two were in. your face was so close to his you could feel his breathing on your lips. you quickly backed away and repositioned yourself as before. jaemin didn't move for a few seconds, trying to comprehend why his heart was beating so fast when you were close to him and why it was still beating that fast when you pulled away.

you ended up, cuddling with jaemin, his arms around you, giving you warmth. from an outsider point of view, people may think that there was something going on between the two of you but it was just how you two came to act with one another. jaemin being the clingy type, you saw him back hugging his friend, jeno, when he came over to cook something or how he always found a way to pinch his younger friend's, jisung, cheeks when he came by. you just accepted his clinginess because there was no way out, you could see it on his friends' face and you also enjoy the skinship. you missed being that close with someone.

being jaemin's roommate meant that you got to witness multiple side of him that he didn't usually show in public or to people other than his close friends. he would sometimes come back home in a grumpy or sad mood and just hug you in silence. you were confused the first time it happened. it was a few days after you had found him drinking alone on your couch. you were used to his flirty side and his clinginess but nothing really prepared you for that side of him that just made you want to wrap him in a blanket and feed him some soup. above being surprised, you were worried. jaemin usually showed his cheerful and happy self so seeing him that silent with a neutral expression, worried you a lot, every time, especially because he wouldn't communicate how he felt.

once in a while, jeno, jaemin's friend who kind of became yours as well, came by to eat dinner with you two but it often ended up with you two making dinner, waiting for jaemin to get home since he recently got a part-time job.

"can you cut the onions? i'll make the rice.", you said, gathering your hair in a ponytail.

jeno nodded, quickly tying his apron and grabbing a cutting board along with a knife, "woah, look at that. we should open a restaurant.", he joked with his usual eye smile.

"just wait five minutes and i'll be throwing boiling jjigae at you while you attack me with gochugaru.", you joked back.

you heard the door open and some rustling in the entrance, "jaemin-ah! you're back?", jeno shouted from the kitchen.

jaemin passed by the living room and the kitchen without really saying anything. he just mumbled something before heading towards his room. jeno and you gave each other a look, knowing all too well this behavior of jaemin. jeno nodded towards you and then the direction in which jaemin went, his eyes saying, 'go see what's wrong.'

you frowned at him, shaking your head before repeating his actions towards him, your eyes arguing with his, 'you, go see what's wrong.'

you didn't have the time to continue arguing that you heard jaemin coming out of his room. you two quickly got back to your occupation, which was cutting vegetables for jeno and boiling water for the daenjang jjigae for you. you two focused on cooking until jaemin came into the kitchen a few minutes later, hair still wet from the shower he just took.

"why didn't you dry your hair? it's late. it's not gonna dry before you go to sleep.", you said, glancing at him as you took the vegetables jeno finished cutting to put them in the stew.

"it's alright.", jaemin said with no tone whatsoever. he wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you stirred the vegetables in the boiling broth. you leaned your head back on him a little as he hid his face in the crook of your neck.

it was moment like that that made jeno felt like the most third wheel of all third wheels, "i knew i should've brought hyuck and the lil chef.", he muttered to himself, concentrating on cutting the meat.

you felt wet droplets of water hitting your skin but figured it was just jaemin's wet hair so you discarded it at first. you were immediately alarmed when you suddenly heard jaemin quietly sniff. you dropped your wooden spatula on the counter and turned towards jaemin. you grabbed his face to examine it and prevent him from hiding his tears from you. your eyes soften at the view of jaemin's tear-stained cheeks and glossy eyes. you didn't like seeing him cry.

"yah, can you two, old couple, get back to cooking? i'm hungry!", jeno nagged at the two of you, pointing his knife accusingly.

"who are you calling old couple? i'm not gonna fall for his fuckboy antics."

thankfully, you were the one facing jeno and not jaemin so he couldn't see his crying face.

"we'll be back.", you said, grabbing jaemin's wrist and dragging him away, "please, finish cooking for us.", you stuck your tongue out at jeno to tease him.

"what am i? your private chef?", jeno screamed after the two of you, making you laugh.

you pulled jaemin into the bathroom making him sit on the toilet after closing the lid.

"what's going on?", you asked, as you took a hair dryer out of one of the sink's drawers.

"nothing.", jaemin said, trying hard to control the tone of his voice. you turned to look at him with your hand on your hip like a mom waiting for her child to confess something, "too many things. i just got overwhelmed.", he finally admitted.

your stance softened at his answer and you sighed, "you know, what i said the first time i saw you bawling your eyes out like a baby still stands. you don't have to keep everything inside of you until you eventually explode.", you said, as you plugged the hair dryer in the outlet. you then turned it on and turned towards jaemin to dry his hair. thankfully the cord was long enough.

jaemin put his arms around your waist in a loose hug, relaxing as you ran your hand through his hair, feeling the hot air of the hair dryer blowing on his skin. he thought about what you said and you weren't wrong in any way. jaemin knew he was used to bottling everything up until he could see jeno or renjun to talk it out but since they were all in uni there wasn't much time for them to see one another, even when jeno came over, he had to leave quite early due to his busy schedule and personal matter which was too early for jaemin to open up.

it took you ten minutes to dry your roommate's hair just enough for them to dry completely on their own before he went to bed. jaemin was disappointed when he didn't hear the loud blowing of the hair dryer anymore. he wanted to stay like this just a little more.

"come on or jeno is totally going to leave with the dinner we made.", you said, holding your hand out to jaemin to grab after putting the hair dryer back in its place.

you two came back to the living room where jeno already placed everything on the table, "it has been 55 days since my friends left me alone in their kitchen where i had to fight to finish this meal. ", jeno started talking as if there were people at the table with him as a joke.

you chuckled, "did you go crazy?"

"i might've.", jeno replied, widening his eyes.

"come on, let's eat, i'm starving."

you all started eating together and updating each other on your daily lives, well mainly you and jeno, jaemin didn't really talk much. you were excited about the updates on his roommate and crazy neighbor. it was all the drama you needed. filled with unexpected twists and cliché tropes.

you accompanied jeno to the door when it was time for him to leave while jaemin was doing the dishes, "is jaemin okay?", jeno mouthed to you so your roommate wouldn't hear.

"he's alright, i think."

"call me if you need me."

you nodded as you showed him an okay sign with your hand.

"i will never cook here again.", jeno said as he stepped outside of your apartment.

"see you next time, jeno!", you said, fully knowing that he will be back, in your kitchen with an apron on in no time.

after sending jeno away, you went to take a shower and brush your teeth before laying on your comfy bed, cuddling into your covers. you were scrolling through your instagram feed when there was a knock on your door. you knew that it could only be your roommate, especially at this hour. you hummed in response, signaling to him that he could enter.

"are you sleeping?", jaemin's head popped in your doorway. you thought he looked cute in his pajama set.

"obviously not.", you answered, sitting up and patting the place next to you on your bed. jaemin slowly entered your room fully, closing the door behind him, "what's going on in that head of yours?", you asked, poking his head gently.

jaemin gently grabbed your hand to stop you, bringing it down between the two of you without letting go. sometimes, your roommate did things that made you wonder if his feelings towards you were completely platonic, but every time those thoughts came to your mind, you quickly pushed them away, excusing them as his flirty habits, ignoring the little acceleration your heart experienced.

"am i that unlovable?", jaemin asked even though he whispered it under his breath.

"what?"

"there's this girl. we dated for like two years in high school but she was really jealous. she didn't want us to go public because her parents were pretty strict and didn't want her to date in high school. but the thing was that she was really insecure and would think that i was cheating on her with other girls that confessed their feelings to me. the relationship was so rocky with many ups and downs, mainly downs. she ended up breaking up with me because she couldn't handle the secrecy of our relationship anymore. my first love. amazing, right?", you could hear the sarcasm is his tone, "i thought my first relationship was going to be something special and romantic that'd stay with me forever."

"first times being special is a concept created by society to pressure us into waiting for 'the right one'. thinking that the first time is what will decide what the rest of your life will look like. my whole love life is filled with non special first times. my first kiss? during a spin the bottle. my first time? i was drunk out of my mind and just sleep with some guy at a party. first love? it was all a game for him to begin with. but relationships are overrated anyway. they just lead to heartbreaks."

"how can you say that? love is such a beautiful thing."

"love is a beautiful thing. relationships...", your hands playing with his fingers mindlessly as you found yourself lost in your own world for a moment, "when you find the love you deserve, even if it wasn't the one you were looking for, hold onto it. look for love, not relationships."

"i hope we'll find the love we both want and deserve, bunny.", jaemin said, squeezing your hand as you smiled up at him.

"you think chaeryeong and shotaro will finally get with each other tonight?", ryujin asked jimin and you as you waited for her to finish getting ready to go out.

"they've been going out on so many dates but haven't even held hands yet.", jimin said.

"oh really? it's kinda cute though.", you said.

"you're such a softie, y/n.", ryujin teased.

"how is it going with sungchan?", jimin teased further.

"what do you mean?", you knew exactly what she meant but chose to act oblivious.

"you two would look so good together.", ryujin commented.

"for real, i wanna puke every time i see the two of you giggling with each other.", jimin said.

"i don't think he likes me like that.", you replied, trying to shut down their fantasies.

"what about you?", jimin suddenly asked.

"i...", you hesitated and even though it was for a few seconds your friends jumped on the occasion to tease you again.

"ooooh, you're totally into him!", ryujin almost screamed and your cheeks started to burn.

"she's blushing!", jimin pointed out.

"oh my god! you guys are insufferable.", you whined hiding yourself behind one of ryujin's pillows.

your phone vibrated as it received a message.

i'm here :D

"sungchan's here.", you announced to your two friends.

"of course, he texted you.", jimin teased.

"it's just a text.", you rolled your eyes.

"he could have texted the groupchat.", jimin retorted.

"...shut up.", you said, running out of argument.

the three of you grabbed everything you needed before heading out. you met up with sungchan who was waiting for you in his car in front of the building. his eyes looked up from his phone and he smiled as he saw the three of you walking towards him. he unlocked the doors for you and you got into the passenger seat as ryujin and jimin got in the back.

"hey.", you greeted.

"hey.", he greeted back with a smile, "are you my gps today?"

"i guess.", you chuckled, "i'm bad at giving direction though. i just like sitting in the front."

sungchan chuckled at your answer, "you can't be worse than shotaro, he just gives up half way and starts giving me direction in japanese. i don't speak japanese."

you put your hand in front of your mouth, hiding your laughter. sungchan started driving, following your precise indications. you arrived at the party in no time. sungchan and you high fived each other for your teamwork when you got out of the car, heading towards the frat house.

ryujin and jimin almost ran to the kitchen to get some drinks as sungchan and you followed behind them, only getting yourselves some water or juice because you didn't drink and he was on driving duty.

jaemin really needed something to get himself out of his thoughts. he's had a lot of things going through his head lately and most of those things were you. for the past few months of being your roommate, jaemin's perception of you had changed quite a bit. at first, he thought you were totally his type. if you two weren't roommates, he would've made a move on you the minute he saw you but after some talking with his friends and having renjun reminding him of the fact that he would probably have to find another roommate and chenle reminding him how hard it was, he quickly gave up on the idea. then, he thought that you were cute and that you two could be good roommates, going grocery shopping and cooking together, keeping your relationship pretty simple, but after spending more time with you, talking with you, seeing you interacting with his friends, picked at his interest in you. that interest made you linger in his thought at random moments and made his heart beat faster every time you got near him.

your roommate's eyes landed on you and sungchan when he was looking for his friends. he didn't know you were going to be there and seeing you laughing with another guy and being touchy in a playful way made him feel something he didn't enjoy.

you, on the other hand, didn't notice jaemin staring at the two of you at all. you were concentrating on your conversation with sungchan and didn't really pay attention to your surroundings. you two were talking casually when sungchan suddenly stopped mid sentence as something caught his eyes in the distance and he started hitting your arm in excitement.

"ow, what happened? what did you see?", you asked, turning towards the direction he was looking into.

"shotaro and chaeryeong are so making out near that plant.", sungchan whispered into your ear then nodded towards the place he just mentioned.

you jumped up and down in excitement, hitting his arm like he did yours as you finally saw them, "is that really chaeryeong?"

"of course, who else?", he frowned funnily at you.

"i hope so, or imma beat his ass."

"i'll join in."

"come on. let's find ryujin and jimin to tell them.", you grabbed onto his wrist, dragging him into the search for your two friends. sungchan smoothly slid his hand into yours. it surprised you but you didn't mind it though, it felt nice.

"yah! ryujin-ah! jimin-ah!", you shouted once you spotted them. they were getting refills in the kitchen.

"ooooh y/n! i missed you!", ryujin said, throwing her arms around you in a hug, obviously drunk. you let go of sungchan's hand to hold onto your friend and not fall backwards.

"you're cuter when you're drunk you know that?", you said to her playfully.

"what did you-", jimin started before being interrupted by someone's scream.

"Y/N!!!", a voice you recognized immediately shouted, gaining your attention.

"jeno?", you looked at a highly under the influence jeno, standing in front of you.

"come with me quick.", his tone sounded like he was in a hurry.

"why? what's happening?", you asked, a little worried.

"jaemin's drunk, he needs to go home but i drank too much to drive him and some girls are trying to throw themselves at him."

your eyes were wide in shock. you remembered jaemin telling you about never getting too drunk at parties. you wondered what happened. you turned towards sungchan for a second and said, "tell them the news.", and then waved goodbye to your friends, "i'll see you later."

you followed jeno through the crowd, pushing through people to finally get to your roommate who was sitting on a couch, surrounded by a girl on each side. he had his head down and arms crossed around himself as if he didn't want anyone to touch him.

"get him home safely. you can deal with the girls, right? they kinda scare me.", jeno told you before fleeing the scene.

the girls seemed to notice your presence and turned towards you, glaring at you as if you'd ruined the chance of their life, "who are you?", one of them spat out.

you rolled your eyes and ignored her, "jaemin, let's go.", you said out loud with a gentle tone.

jaemin raised his head immediately when he heard your voice, "y/nnn!", he exclaimed, standing up with his arms open towards you.

you saw him lose balance and hurried to his side, grabbing one of his arms and putting it around you while wrapping your other arm around his waist.

you two got out of the frat house and walked to where jaemin told you he remembered parking his car, "do you have your keys with you?", you asked as you two finally managed to spot his car which was at the opposite of where jaemin told you it was. your roommate clumsily looked in his pocket and struggled to pull out his set of keys.

you helped him into the passenger seat, putting his seat belt on for him.

"you can sleep if you want.", you told jaemin as you started driving away.

the car fell into a comfortable silence as you concentrated on the road ahead of you and jaemin was concentrating on you. he watched your side profile in silence, from your eyes, reflecting the lights of the streets, to your pretty nose that made him want to boop it, to your full cheeks, he had to refrain himself from squishing them, then finally to your lips, he was dying to know how they would feel on his.

"you're staring.", you pointed out, breaking the peaceful silence.

"you're pretty.", jaemin complimented.

you gulped, feeling your hands sweating a little as you tried hard to not look in his direction. you never knew how to react when he complimented you.

jaemin clung onto you from the moment you helped him out of his car to the moment you put him in bed, "can't you stay?", jaemin pouted, batting his eyelashes at you as his arms were still around your neck.

"no, jaemin, you need to sleep.", you said.

jaemin let go of you and pouted even more, "alright. i'm all about consent.", he said, cuddling into his covers.

you smiled at his behavior, "goodnight, jaemin.", you said, before leaving.

the holidays period had arrived and you didn't go home this time, deciding on saving the money you would've used for the trip. instead, for christmas, you met with your friends at ryujin and jimin's place for a secret santa. there was you, ryujin, jimin, chaeryeong, sungchan and shotaro. you got sungchan and chaeryeong got you. chaeryeong gave you a cute bob she customized herself with a design she made that reminded her of you, it was so pretty. you got sungchan a pair of scissors for left handed people as an inside joke you two had and his real present was a limited edition merch of a game he couldn't stop talking about. it was cute when his eyes started sparkling.

after that you stayed a few more days at your friends' apartment, squatting their couch.

"are you doing something for the new year?", was the first thing your roommate told you as you picked up his call.

"nothing really. why?"

"i'm doing something at the apartment with some of the guys. wanna join?"

"yeah why- wait. you're home right now?"

"yeah."

"what? why didn't you text me?"

"because i thought you were with your family?"

"i'm squatting ryujin and jimin's place since like christmas."

after your call with jaemin, you hurriedly packed your stuff that lingered around your friends' apartment and quickly left, shouting them a goodbye and freeing their couch from your presence.

once you got home, you were welcomed by jaemin's smile and outstretched arms. you accepted the hug, welcoming your roommate home, "why weren't you home?"

"one night, i heard something falling in the kitchen and you were already gone for like two days so i got scared and packed my bags as soon as the sun got up."

jaemin chuckled at your story, patting your head in comfort.

"so, who's gonna be there for the new year?", you asked.

"apart from you and me. renjun, jeno, chenle, and jisung. donghyuck have something already. and mark is spending it with his girlfriend. hyuck got sulky when he realized he was one of the only two absent."

"can i invite my friends too?"

"sure, just let me know how many will be there."

you quickly texted your friends' groupchat asking about everyone's plan for the new year. chaeryeong and shotaro were going to be with their respective family but ryujin, jimin and sungchan were in. you told jaemin that three of your friends were coming over and from there you two talked about the preparations. you made a list for the food, a list for the decorations, even a list of what to hide so they wouldn't be broken.

the two of you went shopping together buying all the things you needed for the party while having lots of fun. you kept playing around with things you found funny in different aisle as jaemin watched and laughed as if you were the funniest comedian on earth. he was down bad.

"should we set a dress code for the party or not?", you asked, turning to your roommate in the middle of the confettis section of the store.

"well, if that means i can see you in that black dress again...", he jokingly said in a flirty way as he looked at you in the eyes. jaemin had that intense gaze in his eyes sometimes that made your body shiver.

you rolled your eyes, keeping your composure, "i was thinking about a pajamas competition or something like that."

"you'd look good either way.", jaemin shrugged as he kept pushing the cart nonchalantly. thankfully, he didn't notice your cheeks turning pink.

the hardest part of this new year party was actually setting everything up the day of it. jaemin didn't stop messing with you, from poking your side when your were busy putting decorations up, to back hugging you when you were cutting vegetables and not helping with the cooking at all. the food you prepared was pretty simple, fried chicken, pasta, stir fried noodles with vegetables and meat and fried rice.

"i should've accepted donghyuck's roommate proposition of helping us with cooking.", jaemin said, his chin on your shoulder as he watched you chop vegetables.

"you turned down a chef-in-training's help?", you asked, kind of dumbfounded. you could've ate the best version of every dish you were making.

"i wanted to cook just with you.", jaemin pouted.

"oh, 'cause you are so cooking right now.", you said, looking down at his arms linked around your waist.

"i can help you cut vegetables."

"how ar-", you interrupted yourself when jaemin placed his hands on yours and started moving them as if he was playing with a doll, "well, i'm going to rest then.", you leaned back on your roommate, your head resting on his shoulder. you learned to go along with his flirting, if it was something you couldn't escape than you decided to embrace it. jaemin smirked, feeling your body pressed against his as he glanced as your face.

the doorbell ringing surprised the two of you as it was still pretty early. jaemin went to check who it was while you continued cooking.

"wooah. you decorated the place?", you recognized the voice of your second mom immediately.

"no, it looks like that all year long.", you sarcastically answered.

the guest walked into the living room and saw you cooking in the open kitchen.

"what are you guys doing here so early?", you asked, seeing the three familiar faces of your friends.

"we thought since you invited us, we'd at least help you with something.", jimin said, settling her bag on your couch.

"you came at the right time. we need hands in the kitchen. this guy only took out the ingredients so far.", you pointed your knife accusingly at jaemin.

"let's get this started for real.", sungchan said.

the five of you started cooking together, it was a little hard since the kitchen was small for the number of people in it. ryujin and jimin were on pasta duty, sungchan and you were on stir fried noodles duty and jaemin was on fried rice duty. the first people to finish their dish would prepare the friend chicken. since yours and sungchan's dish was longer to prepare, the other three moved to the living room table for the fried chicken.

seeing you and sungchan cooking together and joking around with each other in the kitchen kind of irritated jaemin, making him make some mistakes with coating the chicken. jimin and ryujin noticed, giving each other a knowing look. as sungchan and you finished stir frying the noodles, putting it in a dish, the doorbell rang. the fried chicken team having finished as well, jaemin went back to the kitchen with the uncooked fried chicken while ryujin cleaned the table and jimin went to open the door to whoever just arrived.

"woah, that was quick.", you said, noticing your roommate. he kind of ignored you, and just put the plate on the counter next to the electric stove before walking back to the living room and retrieved the other dirty plates. you frowned a little at his behavior. he would usually retort something funny or brag about his skills.

"do you think we put enough seasoning?", sungchan's voice brought your attention back to him.

"mmmh, i think it's alright. i'm the best for seasoning things with my gut feeling.", you said, with a thumb up.

"oh really?", he exclaimed in a playful tone, "we'll see then, if it's bad you owe me coffee."

"deal.", you two shook hands to seal the deal, "i'm going to change, my clothes smell like stir fried everything."

you quickly got back to your room to change into your new year look. jaemin and you settled on no dress code because jaemin said, "i'm sure jeno will forget and not dress accordingly, chenle will be over the top and jisung is too broke. renjun is the only that's gonna on theme."

you slipped into that one black dress jaemin couldn't stop mentioning, added more to your normal makeup to make it more festive and applied some perfume. you checked yourself one last time in your mirror before heading back out to the living room.

by the time you finished getting ready, everyone had arrived and were talking around the table. all the dishes were laid out on the table, only the fried chicken was missing. you waved hello at all your guests before heading towards the kitchen.

jaemin was there with an apron on, frying the last pieces of chicken. he sensed your presence as you stood next to him but didn't acknowledge it whatsoever. his expression was more serious than usual, "what's wrong?", you asked, breaking the heavy silence.

"nothing, i'm just concentrating on the food.", jaemin answered.

you knew he didn't tell you everything but you resorted to just resting your chin on his shoulder, not wanting to leave him alone while he cooked for everyone. jaemin didn't show it but his heart was beating like crazy and a smile started re appearing on his face.

"you smell good.", jaemin complimented.

"you smell like fried chicken.", you replied, jokingly.

jaemin gave you a side look before flicking your forehead. you whined, your hand rubbing the place where he flicked you, "you can bring this plate out first, this is almost done."

you obeyed, taking the plate of fried chicken while sticking your tongue out at him like a five year old. you came back to the living room where everyone was playing a game where they had to guess the name they had on their forehead. you put the plate down on the table and sat on the ground next to sungchan, who gave you the pillow he had to put on your lap since you were wearing a dress.

"it's time to eat. come on, last round everyone, first to guess, first to win.", jimin said out lout.

you laughed as each of them failed to guess who was on their paper, even sungchan, "how could you not get the lady on the starbucks cup?", you asked, removing the paper scotched on his forehead for him.

"you mean how could i have guessed that. there's no way anyone would've guessed it.", sungchan replied.

"i would've.", you retorted.

"you wouldn't have."

"totally would."

"you're in denial."

"i-"

your banter was interrupted by jaemin almost throwing the second plate of fried chicken down on the table, "let's eat before it gets cold.", he said, sitting down on the other side on you. you all started enjoying the meal you've prepared with care, you've never had that many variety of dish at the same time before.

"shit, the stir fried noodles are good.", sungchan muttered next to you.

"told you i could measure my spices.", you said, hitting his arm slightly with yours.

"then i will bring you your coffee personally the first day back at uni, spice master.", sungchan jokingly said, bowing a little while swirling his hand.

"i'll look forward to it, dear.", you replied with the same tone, waving your hand as well. jaemin cleared his throat next to you, earning your attention but when you turned towards him he was just enjoying his food normally.

after you all finished eating, the ones who didn't help cooking took care of the dishes while the rest of you enjoyed the drinks jeno and renjun brought. you were playing a game of 'put a finger down if', and the loser would have to one shot a bowl of makgeolli.

"i have slept with more than ten people.", jimin said, obviously having a target in mind.

"that was too unfair.", jaemin said, shaking his head while folding one of his fingers.

you shocked everyone by folding one of yours as well.

"what? y/n?!", ryujin practically screamed in shock.

"yah! you hid that from us?", jimin joined in.

"what? what? what? what is happening?", chenle shouted from behind the kitchen counter.

"y/n is a player!", sungchan answered chenle, making you turn towards him and push him playfully.

"really?!", jeno screamed.

"are you serious?", ryujin asked, her eyes having not return to their normal size yet.

"yah! why do you seem so shocked?!"

"they grow up so fast.", jimin jokingly sniffed and patted her under eyes to get rid of her imaginary tears.

"i didn't know you had game.", sungchan said next to you, making you push him again, harder this time as he fell on his side while laughing.

"you sure have some secrets, bunny.", jaemin whispered to you in the midst of the chaos. you rolled your eyes and pushed him as well.

the game ended with your loss when the others returned from the kitchen.

"want me to get you something else to one shot?", jaemin asked you as they all knew that you didn't really drink alcohol.

"it's alright. it's been a while anyway, i'm gonna be fine.", you replied.

you brought the bowl to your lips and started drinking slowly as your friends cheered for you. with a last gulp, you finished the alcoholic beverage. it had been so long that you had almost forgot how it tasted like.

"sorry guys, unexpected return of roommate. i have to go.", renjun said, as he stood up.

"you can drive?", jeno asked.

"yeah, i haven't started drinking yet.", renjun replied.

"alright, see you then.", you all waved goodbye to renjun as he hurriedly left.

you were a few hours away from the new year and your tiredness started to hit you hard. you were fighting to keep your eyes open and the makgeolli you drank didn't really help. your alcohol tolerance really dropped. you weren't drunk or anything, it was just enough to make you feel how tired you were even more. you were the kind of person to sleep early and wake up early so you were really fighting yourself.

"don't fall asleep, you'll miss the new year.", sungchan nudged you slightly as your head was resting on his shoulder.

"i'll just rest my eyes for a second.", you replied, your voice so small that he almost missed it. sungchan patted your hand in comfort and just ended up leaving it there while he talked with chenle and ryujin.

everyone was engrossed in their own conversation to notice you, except jaemin who seemed to be even more fired up than before.

"if you get any tenser you'll just transform into a rock.", jeno told his friend.

"i'm fine.", jaemin replied a little dismissively.

"dude, you've had heart eyes for her for a while now. you're also her roommate, you see her more and you've been acting like a couple every time i was over, which made me want to hang myself sometimes, not gonna lie so why you backing down now?"

"you're one to talk.", jaemin started, alluding to jeno's personal life, "and i'm not backing down, i just-", he stopped as he glanced at your sleepy figure so close to sungchan. he can't help himself but wonder if the signs he picked up on from you were just in his head.

a loud explosion coming from outside startled you and stopped every on going conversation. you sat straight up and looked outside like everyone.

"oooh, the fireworks are starting.", jimin said.

you all rushed to the windows to observe it most of your friends went to the bigger windows as you opted for the smaller one. you felt the fresh air hitting your face as you opened it.

"it's pretty.", you said, watching the fireworks explode in multiple colors.

"it is.", sungchan replied as his eyes lingered on you for a moment before turning his attention towards the fireworks, "are you feeling better?"

"mmmmh yeah. the fireworks and bright lighting helped.", you joked, making him laugh a little.

there was even more noise when people started screaming and counting.

"5...4...3...2...1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!", lots of people shouted along with you and your friends. people on the streets were celebrating as well as your neighbors and people from other apartment buildings around you and even people driving were honking like crazy.

you turned towards sungchan to see that he was already looking at you, "what?", you asked as he seemed to have something on his mind.

sungchan smiled at you before moving his hand close to your face and pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. his hand didn't move afterwards, his eyes looking for any sign of discomfort on your face. he then brought his face down to yours, still looking at you. you knew what he wanted to do and you didn't back out nor stopped him. you didn't want to. your gaze dropped down to his lips and leaned slightly forwards as if to tell him that it was okay. sungchan closed the gap between the two of you, his lips softly touched yours as he became your first kiss of the year.

no one really noticed the two of you as they were all too busy screaming and celebrating. all, except one person who spilled his drink on himself when he screamed 'happy new year' too excitedly.

jaemin.

thankfully, your first day in uni of the year wasn't right after the new year celebration because you were exhausted from all the cooking, the cleaning and the celebration. your friends all left quite early in the morning, not sleeping at all and deciding to call an uber for safety since they shouldn't drive in their state. you told jimin to give you her car keys, so you could drive her car to uni to avoid her the inconvenience of coming back here.

jaemin and you spent the next day, or rather afternoon, because you two slept until noon, cleaning the apartment. you didn't interact much since you still had the kiss with sungchan on your mind but even with that aside, you felt like jaemin was avoiding you. little did you know, your roommate also had yours and sungchan's kiss on his mind. after seeing the two of you, his mood switched instantly. he didn't know why his little crush on you affected him that much. or is it because it wasn't only a small crush?

you let it slide the first day, blaming it on the exhaustion caused by the new year but when the next days, jaemin was still acting the same, you started to worry. you tried asking him simple things to start at least a small conversation with him but he dodged every question and even straight up ignored you sometimes. the lack of attention from him did feel weird.

"okay, i can't do this anymore. what's wrong with you?", you finally snapped when you two passed each other in the hallway as you were heading back to your room and he was heading to the bathroom.

"what's wrong with ME? what's wrong with YOU?!", jaemin snapped back, turning around to face you.

"me?", you repeated, confused.

"one minute, you're warm, the other one, you're cold. one minute, you treat me like a friend, the other one, you act like i'm the worse fuckboy to ever exist. one minute...we're hugging and being domestic as fuck, and the other...you're...kissing another guy. this is driving me crazy, y/n. you're driving crazy. i don't know if you like me or not, or just what you think of me."

"i-", you were speechless. your mind was blank, still trying to register the informations.

"i'll leave you with your thoughts.", jaemin said, before turning around again, walking into the bathroom.

you were indeed drowning in your thoughts for the rest of the night, having trouble sleeping even. you couldn't wrap your head around what was actually happening. were you really stuck between two completely different guys? even when you managed to finally shut your brain off, your subconscious took over and you dreamed of the both of them.

when you woke up the next morning, you cursed the timing for having to go back to uni right after what happened. jaemin already left which made you kind of relieved, you wouldn't have known how to act around him. you drove jimin's car to uni, giving your friend her keys back at lunch.

you were really out of it the whole day. at first, ryujin thought that it was just because you haven't had any caffeine yet but when sungchan showed up with the cup of coffee he owed you from the bet, you didn't seem to get any better. you were thankful to sungchan who was extra sweet with you, seeing that you weren't feeling well.

"hey, are you free after class this afternoon?", sungchan asked you as you were sitting at lunch with everyone else.

"i'm doing something with the girls later.", you said, quickly followed by, "don't worry, we'll talk another day."

"alright.", sungchan sent you a relaxed smile as he patted your head.

you knew he wanted to talk about the kiss and the status of your relationship now that that happened but you weren't even sure what to tell him if you two talked right now.

you needed an emergency girls' night and it came in a form of snacks packaging all over your friends' living room's floor while ryujin and jimin were listening to you talk.

"he said what because he saw what?", jimin asked after you told them everything from your kiss with sungchan to jaemin snapping at you.

"so i didn't imagined that kiss.", ryujin said, tapping her chin with her index.

"you saw it and you didn't tell me?!", jimin exclaimed, offended.

"i barely saw it and i was drunk! i thought shipping them so hard got to my brain and i was hallucinating.", ryujin retorted, making you laugh.

"tsk.", jimin shook her head at her roommate disapprovingly before turning towards you, "so what happened next?"

"well, nothing. i have to talk to sungchan about the kiss and jaemin...well...i don't know..."

"this is like a drama. who do you like best?", ryujin asked.

"i-i don't know...sungchan?"

"that sounded more like a question than an affirmation.", jimin noted.

you sighed. your thoughts were in shambles, "sungchan is literally perfect. he's a kind, sweet, the sweetest ever, he never get grumpy somehow, and he's the kind of person that brightens your day the moment you see them. he really is the perfect friend. he's considerate, funny, i feel comfortable around him. it should be him, right?"

"what about jaemin?", ryujin asked.

"he's a fuckboy."

"what else?", jimin pushed.

"what do you mean?"

"he's not just a fuckboy and you know that. describe him like you did sungchan.", jimin clarified.

"jaemin is...my roommate. he can be insufferable, calling me bunch of nicknames like bunny and princess, and acting overall like the fuckiest fuckboy. he is extremely clingy and he drinks that awful iced americano with four extra shots of expresso that makes me wonder how he's still alive. but there's also that sweet side to him and little things he does that he thinks others won't notice. like how he can be super caring. did i tell you how when after he found me asleep on our doorstep that morning after a party, he made sure to be home every night just in case it happened again. i had to tell him that i was going to okay and that it won't happen again when he came back home still smelling like after sex sweat, alcohol and sephora. ke kinda grew on me, somehow. he's pretty funny and watching shows with him made me realize that he was kind of a romantic...but i can't get over the fuckboy status. i've been with too many fuckboys to fall for that again."

"you never know. maybe he's different.", jimin said.

"that's what i told myself every time and i'm sick of history repeating itself."

"do you lean towards one in particular?", ryujin asked.

"i know i should choose sungchan. he's good for me. he's like a sunny day after a storm...but jaemin feels like staying home with a blanket around me when it's raining outside."

"how did you feel when sungchan and you kiss?"

"good, i mean he's not a bad kisser. it felt comfortable and nice."

"you know you sound like you've already made a choice, right?", jimin asked you, "you described sungchan as a 'perfect friend' and then proceeded to rant about jaemin with the only thing holding you back, is that he's a fuckboy."

"my sungy/n heart is broken but i have to admit that you don't seem to have that much romantic feelings towards sungchan or at least, you feel more things for jaemin. you realize that you kept using the word 'should' for sungchan, right? it's like your head vs your heart.", ryujin added.

you sighed. from the bottom of your heart, you wished you could tell them they were wrong but you knew, deep down, that you didn't feel anything for sungchan, or like ryujin put it, you felt more for jaemin. everything would have been much easier if you were mentally stable enough to choose someone like sungchan. your situation with jaemin was just too complicated. you always thought that his gestures towards were only platonic and maybe they were at first but it seemed to have took a turn you didn't expect.

you went home pretty late that night, after talking with your friends for hours. you saw the messages jaemin sent you a few hours earlier. you had forgot to tell him that you were going to ryujin and jimin's place since you two were awkward now.

you entered your apartment, removing your shoes and sliding into your home slippers, walking into the living room. you noticed a mass of the couch, approaching it you saw jaemin lying there with his arms crossed and eyes closed.

he was waiting for you.

even though you two were not on speaking term and he seemed fed up the last time you spoke to him, he still waited. he was still worried. and there goes that little knife that dug itself deeper into your heart.

you went to jaemin's room to retrieve his blanket, thinking he must have been freezing waiting for you and falling asleep on the couch without something warm around him. you left him a note on the table next to the couch saying that you were home and that you were okay before going into your room.

the next day, your only class of the afternoon got canceled so sungchan and you decided to grab a coffee at the nearest coffee shop to talk about the two of you.

"so...", you started as the two of you sat down at a table in the cozy coffee shop with your drinks.

"so...", sungchan repeated.

there was a little awkward silence be fore you decided to speak again, "okay so i'm going to go straight to the point. i don't think-"

"-you have romantic feelings for me?", he interrupted with what you were going to say which startled you a little. he didn't seem sad or angry, he was just like his usual self.

"how did you-? did the girls tell you?"

sungchan laughed at your confusion, "no but it was something i kind of expected. i was hesitant at first for the new year's kiss but with a few shots and the loud fireworks, my brain said why not. i don't regret it.", he shrugged.

"i'm sorry.", you apologized.

"there's nothing to apologize for.", he nudged you, "it's not like i was in love with you or anything. it's alright. i like the idea of us maybe dating but i love being friends with you so actually, it's a win-win."

"you really are the best.", you smiled at him.

"then why aren't you dating me?!", he said but you knew that he was fully joking as he started laughing afterwards.

you got home that day, right after grabbing an early dinner with sungchan and the girls after their classes finished. when you entered the living room, jaemin was eating his dinner while watching tv on the couch, his wet hair adorning a jet black color.

he dyed his hair and holy mother of sanity did he look good.

you gulped down your thoughts and headed towards your room. you took a well deserved hot shower to clear your mind.

the following week was so awkward between the two of you. you woke up earlier every morning to leave the apartment before him and when you saw each other at home, you just walked past one another. you had to deal with your thoughts and feelings and jaemin left you the space you needed to do so even though it was killing him to not talk with you. you also felt bad every time you saw him watch a show on the couch alone, all you wanted to do was plop down next to him and enjoy some popcorn while commenting on whatever you were watching.

"jaemin?", you called, walking into the living room and spotting jaemin's now black hair on the couch.

"mmmh?", he hummed, acknowledging your call.

"can we talk?"

"sure.", he paused his show and sat back straight on the couch, moving from the middle to one end of it so you could sit as well.

"okay, so, let me get this out of the way first.", you said, sitting down on the couch and facing jaemin.

"sungchan and i are just friends. we talked about it and decided to remain friends since i didn't have any romantic feelings for him.", you said, slowing your usual speed of speech and being as clear and simple as you could be so your roommate wouldn't misunderstand, "now, what did you mean by telling me what you told me the other day?"

jaemin's eyes had seemed to have gain a few sparkles since you cleared things about sungchan. he remained silent for a moment, his brain fusing to get the adequate words out, "i like you, a lot."

you realized that you didn't plan anything passed this. you didn't know what to say.

"i- give me a second, alright?", you said, turning sideways and inhaling all the air you could before exhaling it all along your all your messy thoughts, wiping your brain clean, "okay, so...i can't say that i feel completely indifferent towards you...but...", jaemin's head perked up at your words, "you're a fuckboy."

"i-"

"-can change? stop? treat me good? i've heard it all. and they never changed.", you saw jaemin opening his mouth again probably to defend himself, but you quickly continued, knowing what he was going to say, "i know it doesn't mean that you won't, so...i was thinking...if you're up for it...to have like a sort of trial?"

"like netflix?"

"kinda? let's not date, or flirt, or fuck anyone for like a month or two and see if we still have feelings and by we, i mean, mainly you.", you threw in a little joke at the end to lighten the mood.

"one month or two, even a whole year if i have to."

"well, we'll see if your feelings make it. i'm quite hard to love."

"i'll give it my best.", he said with a little smile, blinking his doe eyes at you.

"don't over do it.", you smiled before pushing his face backwards.

jaemin put his arms around you and brought you in a much wanted hug. he's been dying to do that since the start of your conversation, "is that okay?"

"i'll tell you if something is not okay.", you said, relaxing in his arms. you missed that feeling.

"can i come in?", jaemin asked after knocking on your door.

"sure.", you shouted while finishing your makeup.

"are you ready to go?", he asked, stepping in. you two were going to a frat party, even though you weren't really in the mood, you still wanted to spend some time with your friends.

"yeah, just let me grab my jacket and...", you turned around to be faced with jaemin's body. you waited for him to move but he didn't, you looked up at him and said, "i thought we were leaving."

"i just want to look at you a little longer.", he said, putting his hands on your side, right on the cutouts of your white dress.

"you can do that at the party.", you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"but i'd rather do it here.", jaemin brought one of his hands up to your face, his index under your chin, lifting it up to face his own.

your eyes were fixated on his lips as you gulped. you pulled yourself out of the thoughts of how they would feel against your own and looked up at his eyes to see him still looking down, "don't ruin my lipstick.", you whispered since you two were pretty close.

"hearing you say it, makes me want to do it even more."

"oh yeah?", you slowly got on your tiptoes, getting your lips even closer to his. if you moved, you would have been able to transfer some of your lipstick on his lips. jaemin's breath got caught in his throat and he didn't dare to move a millimeter. his whole body froze. you smirked at his reaction and stepped back, walking around him to grab the jacket on your chair, "let's go."

jaemin let out a shaky sigh before following after you.

during the party, jaemin and you got separated at some point as he went to find his friends and you yours. since you didn't really felt like partying too much, so you just had some fun with your friends, dancing and laughing.

"how is it going with jaemin?", jimin asked you as you sat on a couch between her and sungchan. there was also ryujin, chaeryeong, and shotaro.

"there's something going on between you and jaemin?", shotaro asked.

"yes and no...i'm waiting to see if he's serious about this or not."

"mmmh so that's why he's been sending me death stares from that corner over there since we sat on this couch.", sungchan said, almost sounding as if he was joking but when you quickly glanced at the corner he mentioned you noticed jaemin staring in your direction among a group of guys who were just discussing with one another which made you start laughing a little.

from jaemin's point of view, you were laughing at something sungchan had said which made him kind of jealous if he was totally honest. he trusted you and knew that if you told him that there was nothing going on between sungchan and you then there was nothing but he couldn't help but feel a little stab in his heart.

after some more talking with your friends, you decided it was time for you to head home. you hugged your friends goodbye before heading outside. you swiped on your phone, ready to order a taxi to go home when someone called you, "y/n! bunny!"

you turned around instantly, recognizing the nickname, "almost didn't know it was you when you called me by my name.", you teased with a smile.

jaemin smiled back at you before asking, "are you leaving right now?"

"yeah, don't worry about me, i'll see you at home.", you said, waving him back inside.

"it's alright, we can go home together."

"i'm alright, jaemin. really."

"but i want to go home with you.", he pouted.

how could you say no to that face.

"did you drink?", you asked him.

"one cup.", he said, holding his index up.

"give me your keys.", you replied, stretching your hand out.

jaemin easily complied, sliding his keys into your hand. your ride home was quite fun, jaemin showed you mark's soundcloud and to be completely honest, his songs were pretty good. jaemin and you bopped your head to mark's voice while laughing at whatever weird moves your roommate was doing.

"first for the bathroom.", you said as soon as you heard jaemin close your apartment door.

"wait.", jaemin grabbed your wrist, spinning around to face him. he was extremely close, "can i ruin your lipstick now?"

you didn't say anything at first, your mind still trying to process his words. your eyes trailed down from his eyes to his lips and gosh did they look inviting. you slowly leaned in and pressed your lips gently on his. that was all jaemin needed to kiss you back. you stood in the middle of your living room, fully making out, your hands were in his hair while he had one one your waist while the other one cupped your cheek. you felt your heart beating so fast that at this point, you thought it was gonna beat out of your chest.

jaemin was the first one to pull away, breathing heavily, "if we keep going, it's gonna be really hard for me to stop myself..."

your brain worked it magic and lots of things went through your mind after he said that and in a short amount of time, making you blush and hide your face in his shirt.

you headed back to your room to take some clothes before going into the bathroom. you looked at yourself in the mirror and your hand instinctively went to your lips, fingers tracing your lower lip as you saw how smudged your lipstick had gotten. the event flashed in your mind and you couldn't help the smile spreading on your face. jaemin was slowly bringing the wall you had built down and even though you were scared to let someone in again, being with jaemin felt great.

that night, jaemin came into your room and asked if you two could cuddle. you sleepily opened your covers for him, sliding to one side of your bed and the both of you fell asleep in each other's arms.

"hey, i actually don't feel like clubbing tonight, you guys go without me.", you said to jimin over the phone.

"alright! we'll send you lots of pictures!"

"alright! have fun!", you both hung up as you returned to your tv show.

that night you had planned to go to that club in itaewon that was famous for doing a monthly event for university student only but you didn't really feel like going out, you lowkey were just waiting for jaemin to get home so you could cuddle together while watching tv.

you heard the doorbell ring and were confused for a second. you got up to check the camera screen next to your door and saw a girl standing there. she seemed to be around your age and was holding something in her hands.

you pushed the mic button to speak to the person outside, "hello, who are you?"

"hello, i'm here to give jaemin his sweater back. he left it with me when we saw each other last week ."

you felt your heart drop in your stomach and a lump form in your throat. when you realized you've been silent for a long time, you managed to pull yourself together and open the door. you greeted the girl with a slight bow as she did the same.

"tell him i'm sorry i didn't gave it to him earlier, i just remembered a few hours ago."

you nodded, your brain had completely shut off.

"i'll...leave then.", she awkwardly said, before walking away.

you closed the door and let out a big sigh. you couldn't believe what just happened. you looked in the bag the girl had handed you and indeed it was one of jaemin's sweater, you had seen him wear it multiple time. you remembered telling him that you were going out tonight with the girls so did he call her over? while you were out? were they hooking up?

you felt like you've been cheated on even though technically you had no right to feel that way. he wasn't your boyfriend. this only meant that he wasn't serious about pursuing you to begin with. even though it was something you expected, it still hurt but right now you weren't really sad, you were more angry, fuming actually.

you dropped the bag in jaemin's room and went to yours, getting ready to forget about your stupid roommate.

"hello, jaemin? this is ryujin. can you come pick y/nup? she's gone completely out of character. she's so drunk, she is actually this close to offering a strip tease to whoever says yes. we're trying to hold her back but i can't stop her. come quick, please, i'll text you the address."

as soon as jaemin heard this, he hurried back out of his apartment. he had just gotten home after his shift when he received ryujin's call and he was very confused because ryujin said that you were drunk. jaemin had never seen you drunk and the only time he saw you drink was at your new year party. he wondered why you suddenly started drinking again, especially when you seemed so done with your younger self every time you spoke about it.

jaemin found you, jimin and ryujin on the street in front of the club. you were leaning on jimin's shoulder as ryujin checked your temperature with her hand on your forehead. jaemin could see the look of relief on their face when they saw him. your roommate gave them a ride home as your two friends were exhausted from running around the club to get you. during the whole car ride, you didn't spoke nor look into jaemin's direction. you just closed your eyes and lean the farthest you could from him. even when jaemin tried to help you out the car, you ignored him and didn't let him touch you. you had regain some clarity thanks to the little drive and could totally walk and stand on your own, even though you could go off path from time to time. jaemin stayed behind you to make sure you didn't fall.

once you've reached your apartment, jaemin asked you, "hey, is everything okay?"

it was a simple question but it somehow angered you in an inimaginable way, "is everything okay? is everything OKAY?!", you scoffed, "no, everything is not okay, no.", you looked at him with spite in your eyes, "your booty call dropped by earlier. she wanted to give you your sweater back. should've told her when you were going to be home."

"what are you talking about?", jaemin asked with furrowed eyebrows.

you didn't even hear the real confusion in his voice, only interpreting his question as a lie, a way to manipulate you, like many had done before.

"you know what i'm talking about. don't play dumb.", being drunk made you a lot harsher and filter free.

"i really don't. i can assure you i have not been hooking up with anyone. how can you think that? you're the only one i've want any contact with. you're the only one i can think about. you're all i think about. how do you want me to prove it to you? do you want me to shout it out loud in the streets or in the hallways of uni? because i would do it in a heartbeat. you're driving me insane but in a good way. in a way, that makes me want more."

"that's not what i want. i don't want you to burn for me. i don't want to be the bane of your existence.", you started, quoting the infamous show you two had been watching, "i don't want passion. i want someone to love me, even when i'm boring, even when i'm mad, even when i'm sad, even when i don't talk and stay in my corner or when i'm loud and talk to everybody at a party, even when i'm old. i'm sick of the honeymoon phase. in french, they call it 'noces de chêne', oak wedding, it represents 80 years of marriage. i want that kind of love. old, long, lasting."

after that long rant, you stumbled to your room and crashed onto your bed, passing out.

the next morning, you woke up with an astronomical headache. you forgot how hangover felt like and you sure didn't miss it. you turned over on your bed and spotted a glass of water and some medication for your headache on your bedside table. you quickly took them with a little groan, due to sitting up too quickly. you remembered the events of the previous night all too well, a little embarrassed by your behavior at the club. you'll text your friends later to apologize. after taking the pills, you got up, grabbed some clothes and took a well needed shower. you've never felt that dirty after waking up. you got back into bed right after making sure you blowdried your hair and tried to get some more sleep.

a few minutes later, someone knocked on your door. you didn't answer, knowing who it was. jaemin waited a little before opening the door to your room and entering, "i made you some hangover soup."

you still didn't answer.

jaemin approached your bed with the little table tray, "i know you're awake. i heard you taking a shower."

you sighed, peeking your head out from under the blanket. you saw jaemin standing next to your bed with the tray in his hands and you knew that he wouldn't leave before you ate that soup so you sat up, allowing him to put the tray table on your bed.

you started eating in silence, still not wanting to speak to him.

"are you still mad?", jaemin asked.

slurp.

"i take that as a yes. can i at least explain myself?"

slurp.

"then i will. please refrain from throwing soup in my face until i finish talking.", you eye sided him before continuing your slurping, "so, i saw the bag in my room. i guess you were talking about that yesterday. i did not sleep with her. she's the girl from high school i talked to you about. she just wanted to clear up some misunderstandings we had. she spilled her coffee on herself by accident and i gave her my sweater to cover it up. she sent me a message yesterday to give it back but also told me that she didn't know when she'll be able to. so i just gave her our address so she could drop it here whenever she could. i told her to leave it in front of the door if no one was home. i did not sleep with anyone since i told you i love you. well, technically, i didn't say it but the meaning was there, well...anyway..."

your eyes perked up at the word 'love', you knew it wasn't as if he told you he was in love with you but still, it was a strong feeling that you didn't know someone could feel towards you.

jaemin, as if he saw the perplexity in your eyes, said, "i love when we go grocery shopping together. i love when we cook together or watch shows together. i love when it's getting late and you knock on my door to make sure i've had dinner. i love how your eyes sparkle and almost turn into crescent moons when you hear or see something funny. i love when you hold my hand even if it's for a split second. and i especially love how i feel around you. i've been falling for you more and more each day and i've learn to love every little thing about you. i don't know who told you you were hard to love, but loving you is the easiest thing i have ever done."

your gaze softened at his speech. you dropped your spoon and grabbed his face, giving him a soft peck on the lips.

you had to admit that you were blinded by your emotions and trauma at first. having lived that same situation many times where your ex boyfriends would cheat on you and then deny it, even though you caught them in the act, on your on bed, like sure bob, that's your cousin and her weird way of greeting you. but you knew that you could trust jaemin, you two were friends before all this and you felt bad for not giving him the benefit of the doubt and snapping at him instead of remaining calm and communicating.

"i'm sorry...for yesterday and for assuming.", you apologized.

"it's alright. you can make it up to me later with lots of kisses and cuddles.", he said, kissing the top of your head, "can i be your boyfriend now?"

you smiled, "sure."

"yayyy, girlfriend!", he exclaimed. he was going to tackle you but remembered the tray and quickly got rid of it.

"eeeh, i wasn't done with that.", you said, hand reaching out for the food but jaemin was too quick.

"there's plenty more. i want to cuddle.", he said, opening his arms and almost jumping on top of you. you snuggled in his arms, breathing in his scent. you felt safe in his arms.

looking back, you definitely involved yourself more than necessary with na jaemin.

but that was probably the best thing you had ever done.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Non BL Fan watches Only Friends

Hey. Yeah so I'm still on this. So when Only Friends ended, it left kinda of a bitter taste in my mouth. I liked a lot of things about it but by the end it really didn’t leave a good impression. There’s been a lot written about it, about expectations, and branded pairs, and how fandom may have played a role in this, and how the writing maybe because of that kinda took a turn midway through the show. And it kept bugging me that these opinions were also rooted in our understanding of this type of media, and everything that comes with it. Be it branded pairs, all the bls that came before or the industry as a whole. But I couldn't really have any perspective because I'm part of the problem. I'm too close. So, the only way for me to kinda get over this was to get someone far removed from this to watch it. And here is where my friend Neely comes in. They're not a bl watcher. The only bl they ever watched was Choco Milk Shake which I think we can all agree would not influence their viewing of Only Friends. They are however the only person who I talk to about bl, or the only person who has the patience to listen to me, whenever I’m feeling particularly annoyed about something or just wanna share a good moment. I immediately sent them the olive oil scene (with only a tiny bit of context) because it was so beautiful that I needed to scream with someone about it. So anyway, I asked them to watch the show. They knew a couple of things about it, because I complained to them about it at the time, but they has no reference for it so, I don’t think that I influenced the viewing that much. Also they're pretty unbiased about everything.

So last night they watched the first 4 episodes and I’d like to share their thoughts with everyone who like me might be curious. Because they're the best person ever, he wrote a whole text about it so I could share. Also we're almost at the end of the year and this might be the thing that finally closes this chapter for me. This is what they had to say after watching the first 4 episodes.

(I'll be adding my own thoughts in purple)

After 4 episodes, mostly I think it's really predictable plot wise for anyone who's watched a general TV western series, like a Netflix production, which I was maybe surprised. The ways to cause drama and plot advancement are very similar. Of cpurse this is me saying this based on the other BL I watched (Choco Milk Shake) which felt much more out of the expected canon.

Just to get this out of the way: they're all toxic and terrible people, to the extent I find it very hard to connect to any of them. Just in the exposure parts of ep1 there's all of them being horrible to Ray for being drunk – even though they also are? - and to top it up later on they're all drunk, and the woman (sorry I should know her name but it's not like they're giving her any storyline or screen time (aside from, I almost forgot, randomly spraining her ankle 😂) for me to remember) I thought that the fact that this was obvious to them from the beginning was very interesting because I maybe gave them more rope in the beginning to expand on her because I thought she was gonna get more later. she's even drunker it seems but they all fall on Ray only; they literally complain he wants another drink and judgementally go "ewww more drinks don't you think it's enough" and dig into his drinking, he leaves, and then they continue drinking? This got even darker to me when the suicide attempt is revealed, and from then it became really hard to consider them friends? Maybe Mew and Ray but the dynamics of that are anyway weird. This is something I myself struggled with all through the show, like how are these people even friends? and I understand the point illustrated by @bengiyo in this post but I still couldn’t get over that. And maybe that’s just the way I see friendships that these people looked even worse in my eyes. Like I cannot compute them treating Ray like that, even if they're done of his drinking, when they know where he's at emotionally. It also doesn't feel they ever tried to help him so I don't think they have the right to be done, just feels like they don't care.

Top, toxic from day one with this challenge attitude towards fucking the virgin; and the gross way he speaks about it with Boston. It's a big no from me to both of them. It's not even them hooking up for me, Top is just kinda sleazy, manipulative, hyper entitled, I do not take anything he says as truth because he just feels so double faced to me. Even just these episodes he's already shown so many cracks: hiding the hook up with Boston (which I'm beginning to feel was more than a hook up?), the whole random drug dealing thing, how he objectifies Mew like a virgin-trophy when talking to Boston, how he manipulates him and also his weird jealousy and control. Ok, this is where I admit I was completely wrong. I thought that way of seeing Top was very influenced by the promotional material and the way the crew and actors talked about the character. And yet, without any prior knowledge he immediately disliked him. I was not expecting that to be honest. And in this case maybe I just wanted the character to go in a different direction so I kept not seeing the pretty obvious red flags. I mean I saw them but tried really hard to look behind them. My bad. Although we could both agree that he’s gorgeous.

I don't like Mew, but I don't think it's the characters fault or how it's written. It's just the troupe of character writing, especially in gay shows, that I can't stand. It's kinda cancer vibes (astrology lol). A bit not necessarily overt but a general sense of holier than thou cause he's a virgin and "has standards". I don't think he's leading Ray on, I think he actually kinda communicates well he just wants friendship. He could be clearer but also this is TV, so we need slight unclearness for drama purposes lol, but I'm not mad about that. Miss communication is the bane of my existence but it apparently makes for compelling television. Or not.

But generally this hot fuck everyone guy falling for the kinda dorky virgin is so dull to me, this virgin is always this weird insert of purity, more often than not an insert where the writer in one way or another projects himself into, to be able to judge the rest of the community, the moral compass (read: normative in terms of society expectations, also kinda mildly Christian coded, like girl next door in the village), and I do always find it a bit queerphobic. I'm not saying there aren't queers like that and that they shouldn't be represented, but the very intense and obvious writing decisions to position him as this moral center (also visually he's always wearing whites and pastels? Virgin mew, Virgin Mary! Lol) that makes all the other characters, often queer, seem kinda dirty and mean and unprincipled. I have nothing to add here because I agree with them on most of this, and I also think that it was never a coincidence to have a virgin in the middle of this group, to serve as the barometer of right and wrong. Cause he's the pure one so he must know what's right. I disliked mew almost instantly when the show started, because I always thought he was just a terrible friend and that’s the greatest sin of all. A small note that I think it's hilariously dumb that he's been protecting his Virginity for all this time and so like "omg it's hard for me, omg I go slow, omg I have a check list" and then it's like "you drop coke I drop pants", virginity done lol. This was just funny and accurate.

I am not talking about Boston right now cause I hate him. And I also hate that they wrote the slut in such a cliche but I do think they did. I remember you saying something people attacking him too much and him being slut-shamed, but he's written as villain quite clearly. Lol I think he's leading mobile phone shop guy on, it's very player manipulation vibe to be always giving him just a bit more to keep him going and the promise of something more open, when we know he just wants to fuck, and especially fuck when he's butt hurt about Top and Mew. And the way he's treating Mew, terrible friend; and also the advances on Top are far from boundary and consent-based lol. But also Top doesn't feel very interested in getting out, he just weirdly stands there silent being licked in the neck, so I blame both on that whole thing. I have to say that I never really read the shower scene like others might have, like obviously Boston was being terrible to Mew in that moment and not respecting Top's boundaries, but I also didn't see Top as helpless in this moment.

I think the only pair that gets away with actually being cute and not toxic and manipulative is Sand and Ray, they're my faves. Yey!! I find them very endearing and with so much chemistry. They're the only characters who honestly genuinely said sorry to each other and had some accountability when they fucked up with each other.

Even tho I'd like a bit more from Sand about the whole "burden to society" comments at the start - they annoyed me so much. The others it's manipulation after manipulation for me, and it doesn't allow me to get into them so it feels like deep lack of chemistry. Top and Mew's relationship feels really really really meh to me. And I don't know why they're friends, also cause very little of them as friends gets shown after ep1. Well they have the school project that keeps them together but other than that really, why? As I explained above I really struggled with the friendship aspect of all this.

But generally, I feel like the editing and writing are very like Mew is amazing and the others are horrible, and we do just get scenes of everyone being shit and Mew not being great but being naive and cutesy with a hint of superiority. Also you're a virgin your not a thumb stone, give your boyfriend a kiss sometimes. I thought this comment was hilarious but also obviously from a non bl watcher because that didn’t register to me, because I’m so used to boyfriends being so shy around kissing in bl that it didn't even cross my mind.

I think I'm slightly meh by all of them but partly is maybe my expectations too - I knew this one specifically was a bit westernized, but I was nurturing this little idea that it would feel a bit different, that some of the ways things were explored would feel different because of the cultural differences, but I do think you could sub all of the actors for white us-americans and the script would fly, you could probably even set it in a progressive state in the us and wouldn't have to re-write much.

So, I might totally be talking out of my ass, but what I'm left thinking is: is there really no culturally specificity to queer community there? is really all queerness and promiscuity in Thailand this performance of the west? Maybe it is, because of different social rules and expectations and freedoms, I really am not knowledgeable enough, but I'm just wondering if it's that or if it's just being made to be more palatable to me. And I think that's fine as a choice for them to know target audience, but I'm left wondering how the actual scene is in Thailand, what the social pressures are there and how they navigate them, specifically at this nexus of queerness and promiscuity. I also don’t know enough about the culture in Thailand to speak about it but I do agree with the point that this show could be made in us tv and they really wouldn’t need to change much. Without knowing anything about the creators of ofts, aside from the fact that they’re queer, they said later that they would compare it to something that Ryan Murphy could produce.

_

After I read this I had a chance to video chat with them briefly , and there were a couple more things that came up that I thought were really interesting. they were asking me about the actors and how well known they were, etc. Because they thought that the characters were purposefully being shown as really flat, and just bad with no redeemable characteristics and that maybe because the fandom already knew them and already liked them, they could do that without needing to waste time making us care for them, by giving us their good sides. Which I never really considered, but as with most things, our prior knowledge might play a part in this too. I know at least for me, I'm not gonna lie, the fact that I like Khaotung definitely made me care for Ray from the start in a way that maybe I wouldn't normally have.

Anyway, they'll continue to watch it and I'll probably post more of thoughts in the future. I also started to rewatch it slowly so I'll definitely keep thinking about this. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. 💜

[sobx9]

Is it just me? The way I had such reasonable expectations for season 4 and it took a completely different direction. The faith I had in the writers and frankly the cast as well is embarrassing to look back on lmao

The gag is they didn’t need to invent a whole new storyline for this season (Groff). The material was there - they were the ones who MADE IT! And forgot about all of it for trash, brand new content? I’m talking about Ward and big John dying. Show more of JB and Sarah bonding over that. Resolution with rose, wheezie and rafe even. I’m talking about Kiara’s parents. They sent her away. They don’t approve of JJ. No resolution there after so much of season 3 being around that, and it being a thread in the story since season 1 . Theyre suddenly fine by mid-end of season. Luke being back was enough of a conflict for jiara. Also the weight of JJ living in his old childhood home that holds so much pain for him, and making it their own. I’d be fine with keeping the town council storyline and trying to save their home. THAT is season 1 roots. What does it mean for Jiara to be a couple now? How do they navigate that, being friends to lovers? JJ has loved her for years/seasons. I needed more. It wasn’t even believable. Pope and Cleo needed to figure out how their relationship would pan out being back in the obx. How does Cleo feel about having stability now? What does pope want to do? I thought he was going to college? I could go on forever. These are the questions those writers needed to ask themselves and WRITE accordingly. I don’t know how they got off path so bad to the point where almost every expectation I had for season 4 did not happen. Did I miss something? Did I misunderstand the show? I have to believe the writers are the ones who misunderstand their own show and characters at this point. I’m embarrassed to even admit I never believed the JJ death rumors because logically I thought, he’s a main character, fan favorite even, they will not kill him, it’s not that kind of show. OPE lol I guess the pates think it is. Netflix needed to give them a reality check because no one was honest with these clowns.

Hi, you make some good points❤️. With some distance I can see how my expectations for season 4 were unrealistic since the writers never really cared about the emotional stuff. The signs were there from the previous seasons (a good example of this is not showing us the emotional toll on Jiara after they nearly drowned together in season 2). For me, I could have overlooked this if part 2 wasn’t so bad, especially compared to part 1. I could have get my missing scenes from fan fictions just like I did with season 3.

My overall view on this (and I already talked about this here so sorry if I am repeating myself) is that there is a huge discontent between what show they wanted to create and what show the fans actually wanted. We wanted more family feel show about the Pogues themselves, about relationships, family drama and character developments, but they wanted to film action packed show with cartoon villains, lots of stunts and crazy locations. And since a season is only 10 episodes, they can’t possibly fit it all in. So since it’s more fun for them to do the action stuff (which is arguably more fun to shoot), the fans are left feeling disappointed because it’s all go go go without anything really meaning anything. That’s why I am worried they won’t do the “ mourning a friend “ plot line justice.

They created such interesting characters and we fell in love with them and had faith in the writers that they will develop them accordingly. And they failed to do that. They would also add more and more characters while ignoring the OGs that people were actually interested in (Wheezie, Barry, Rose, Mike, Anna…).

Groff was completely unnecessary, but since they wanted to outdo the previous season with more shocking twists and turns, they had to up the ante somehow. Unfortunately, they overplayed their cards in my opinion. Also the fans hated how much screen time John B and Big John had just the two of them in season 3, and they were pretty vocal about it. So why make the same mistake in season 4 part 2 with JJ and Groff? The writers clearly don’t actually care what the fans did and didn’t like.

Even if JJ had to be written off due to an actor wanting to leave, or because that was the plan from beginning, the death scene was just so short and lazily done and at the end was completely meaningless. But that’s another issue I already talked about.

I didn’t really believe the rumours for the same reasons you wrote down, until the season 5 renewal was announced and I noticed Rudy did not post anything about it. From that point, I had a gut feeling it was actually happening. Guys let me know if you believed those rumours or not, or if your opinion changed and why. I would love to hear your point of views ❤️

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

Re4 Remake with Leon Kennedy Actor, Nick Apostolides & Heisenberg actor Neil Newbon and Tom De Ville

i’ll only be taking note of anything that i think is interesting but please watch or listen to the whole stream if you want to know other stuff that happens

WHY DID HE (NEIL) POINT HIS GUN AT ASHLEY TO PUT DOWN THE LADDER SJKDFBSKJFS

neil IS REALLY JUST LEAVING ASHLEY BEHIND SJFDSJKSFBS

neil said *middle finger* BYE ASHLEY

i have a feeling he might not like ashley sjkbdfskjfdbs (he’s probably joking)

nick is not going to back seat game lol

they are going to have a bad time, he (neil) is not keeping track of ashley lmao

nick did blow up ashley and kicked her in the head in his own gameplay

“THAT DOG WAS A FUCKING DICKHEAD” 32 minutes in. neil thinks the dog is a dickhead

34 minutes in, nick says “Leon Fucking Kennedy” in an accent lol

question section starts at minute 41

nick is eating oreos again

one of nick’s favourite leon lines are “the bingo line,” and he didn’t want to spoil the other lines since neil hasn’t gotten there in the game yet

in game mechanics, nick did almost none of the mocap for it. he thinks it was done in japan with another team. (almost all internally in japan) (tbh i’m not 100% what he means by this and it’s not clarified) (EDIT: i think he means that anything that wasn’t a cut scene he did not do any mocap work)

nick does not have final say in anything, he was not allowed to change anything at the end of the day

he was allowed to suggest some lines, but capcom gets the final say

47 minutes, he said he vibes with the re4r team a lot and he said he had a bit more fun with this version of leon. he got more collaborative liberties in re4r

nick had been working for leon’s character for 6 years at this point

he was “allowed to be more of a cowboy” minute 49

he said that the building show he’s working on has helped him a lot with gratitude and how it applied to how he characterized leon as well for re4r

nick has been a fan of re4 for 18 years

neil loves how leon opens doors “it’s unnecessarily flexing,” (it actually reminded me of how aragorn opens doors in the lord of the rings lmao)

neil was born in the 70s lol 1hr01 

actually, yeah why does the photo say 1981???? but it’s like more like 1891 maybe it was an error????

1hr07 nick says “leon needs a shower cap” lol

question section number 2 is 1hr13

nick’s fave is double stuff oreos

nick did not do the round house kick in mocap

nick also did not do the death scenes in mocap, he mostly just did the cut scenes. i guess that’s what he means about the game mechanics he didn’t mocap that

he did the facial and voice over for the death scenes though

nick’s favourite death scene is the axe death with the three cracks at the neck

neil’s favourite is the chainsaw through the chest death

1hr17 nick says “miranda, that bitch.” for trying to do one of heisenberg’s line

neil every few seconds, “ashley’s dead”

omg neil is refusing to sell the fish because neil played gavin and oh god i forgot his KAMSKI in detroit become human and one of the things was you can save the fish in that game so he’s refusing to sell the fish in this game lol

1hr30 “I can also sell Ashley Graham apparently, which is worrying.”

andre (va for luis) got luis’s jacket made!

1hr33 neil “IM GONNA LEAVE LUIS TO HIS DEATH CAUSE HE’S A FUCKING DICK.”

1hr42 neil does the leon suplex

nick apparently died at least four times during the first cabin rush scene with luis

1hr48 nick has a feature film coming sometime in the summer! maybe netflix! it’s called aftermath!

1hr57 nick mocap the guy who got squashed by the door (OH I THINK HE’S LYING LOL)

ASHLEY HAS CONSUMPTION SJFKBSDFKJS

ughhh this stopped before mother would’ve showed up lol but here are more questions!

okay nevermind they had no more questions!

maybe next week they might do another session (never mind they’ll figure it out!)

nick’s next convention is maryland may, 26-27, 2023

he’s going to do more streams with more actors!!!! hopefully lily soon!!!

they raided nicole and andre afterwards! :D

[papayafiles]

watch drive to survive with me, a lando fan with absolutely zero chill, season 6 episode 3 edition:

(this got so long it literally exceeded tumblr's character limit, which i did not know existed until now, so i'm splitting it into two parts and posting it anyway because what is a tumblr blog for if not dramatic unhinged public breakdowns!)

it hasn't even started and i'm already Losing My Mind

"the brand cries out for more performance" with angsty heavy music... i forgot how dramatic drive to survive was. the music really enhances the stakes here.

"we did go backwards last year. no denying" cut to daniel struggling at the back 😭 he's not even in the team anymore and he's still catching strays. drive to survive editors have zero chill.

dramatic conversation between zac brown and a mclaren exec about how poorly things are giong... cut straight to lando walking into his interview with rice cakes smiling and giggling. I LOVE HIM.

the squeal of excitement that came out of my mouth at his VERY FIRST line (it's one word: "wow". wow indeed lando norris. you. yes. wow. i need to stop)

producer: "did you break it?" lando: *instantly looks concerned and checks*

LMAO not oscar waving his arms in front of the mtc double doors trying to motion sensor them open... only to fail epically 😭 dork (affectionate)

LANDOSCAR <3

oscar arriving late to the first mclaren team meeting and immediately thinking to ask his guide if lando's arrived yet vs lando making a point of pointing out that he beat oscar there 😭 idiots

lando watching oscar walk into the room for the first time with a contemplative expression… what are you thinking in that beautiful curly head of yours

oscar, doing an official interview about mclaren f1 vs lando, in the corner, eyeing him up and down: oscar’s quite tall, huh? he doesn’t look tall, but he is. he’s also like 15.

trademark dts beat drop after will buxton finishes dramatically chatting shit oh i've missed this

lando face scrunch count: 1

oh no we’re doing bahrain

i didn’t watch bahrain live so i didn’t know it was this bad 😭 wdym 25-30 second long fifth stop of the race my god

“red bull DOMINATES bahrain” yeah yeah shut up

claire williams??? what is she doing here

lando looking distraught cut the cameras i can’t do this 😭

“is it too soon to call it a crisis?” f1 journalists have zero chill (derogatory)

mclaren were DEAD LAST?? i was not aware

not christian horner again 😭 leave lando ALONE! he doesn’t want you!! netflix pls stop exploiting cute norstappen clips for your rbr lando agenda i do NOT endorse this

christian horner saying lando would fit really well in the red bull environment…………… in WHAT world

i’m so interested in seeing how conversations with pr managers go… like this is so fun to see them go through the bullet points of what topics journalists might ask and the ~vibe~ they want to be giving in their responses

…okay netflix i REALLY feel like you’re taking clips out of context and splicing them together to form a narrative here. and i get that that’s your whole job. but i think i also get why lando signed that renewal so early now 😭 warding off dts bullshit before it can even start to hit

“we’re so slow on the straight” dipping to a whisper like a confession he didn’t mean to slip out… glance up then back down again… i see you storytellers weaving the narrative. i see you. i get it. you really don't need to keep going

okay i know lando and zak are having a very serious conversation in this scene but also. lando in golf clothes. arms. AND legs. bronze tanned smooth skin... i’m not even thirsting here i’m just pointing out OBJECTIVE facts that are possibly maybe a little bit distracting me from… whatever they're talking about

“i’ll do my best, as always” ❤️ he always does

will buxton shut UP

why are they spending so much time on miami... they weren’t even good there… we’re getting more angst aren’t we.

ohh i forgot how pretty the red bull miami liveries were

nevermind they’re showing max lapping the mclarens. no longer pretty. fuck that livery actually

lando sounds so depressed on the radio i’m going through it 😭

did he really say haha. LOL. :/ on the radio 😭😭😭

“i’m not suggesting it may look bad. i’m suggesting it is bad”

lando saying "fucking hell" on the radio count: 2

okay do we really need another montage of team principals ragging on mclaren. we get it! you want him! he has a line of admirers a mile long! move on!!

NORRUSSEL CONTENT

according to george there are drivers who drink during normal race weekends?? lando throwing up his hands as the camera points toward him like not me! (i can't tell if george is joking but that sounds crazy to me? i bet it's either a really depressed backmarker or max after winning the wdc on a saturday)

not george calling the mclarens horrendous 😭 have some mercy

……………………………………...........

NETFLIX—

cut the cameras.

NETFLIX WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME

the way i'm actually in tears 😭 i'm so fragile right now do not talk to me

"this is the worst start to any season i've ever had. i want to be the best driver there is in formula 1. that's why i started my whole journey" THEN THEY CUT TO HIM IN A GO-KART??? A MONTAGE SEQUENCE???

they really edited together a mini montage of lando's whole journey including interview clips of him as a young child then put a voiceover of his tiny baby voice saying "i need to be stronger and not make so many mistakes" over video footage of adult lando looking depressed out the plane window and expected me to just be okay after that.

then they go straight into a montage of zak brown and lando's history together going way back ("first time i met lando, he was a small 14 year old ... he was very shy, as you'd expect a 14 year old... he was very fast.") cutting between old photos of them together pre-f1 with emotional music ("i think the first time he drove a racecar it was probably mine") oh! okay then!!

"i would love to create the story and finish the story and everything with mclaren. i really would love that." EVERYTHING HURTS

why does watching this episode make me feel like he's going to leave mclaren when i KNOW he just signed a contract extension? the magic of mood-setting background music and splicing clips together

zak brown meeting with all the sponsors... he is a stronger man than me. i would be freaking out in his position. it's also insane how much is riding on literal sports results from a corporation/business perspective? like the amount of pressure on f1 drivers to deliver is wild and here we are giggling at our silly clown sport and its silly circus events

oh claire williams shut up

(you don't even have a job in f1 anymore why are you still HERE)

[shrinkthisviolet]

Firstly thank you so much for answering my ask - secondly, I have seen you reblog posts about how CK's 'violence is the answer' is a slap in the face to what the movies (and even the show, at first) was trying to say, but I would love to know more about your thoughts about how S5 should've ended, becausing Daniel refusing to fight would've been...amazing to see, tbh.

Of course! Thanks for asking 💞

Yeah, the show kinda…lost the plot after a while. I’m not totally sure when, but I think it might’ve been s3, when Eagle Fang was formed. They kinda…started treating it as “Cobra Kai done right”, and starting treating Miyagi-Do as the “peace-at-all-costs” dojo (really, it had kinda been doing that a little bit since s1, but s3 is when they stopped hiding it iirc). Cobra Kai was…I guess just evil because it was Kreese running it?? Not because the whole mentality of “strike first, strike hard, no mercy” was flawed?? We had three movies showing why that was bad, and the show seemed to understand it at first, but then…at some point, they either forgot or got caught up in the spectacle. (Probably the latter, seeing as s3 was Netflix’s first season in charge of CK. Or both)

As for how the s5 should’ve ended (the finale episode)...well:

All else being the same, the s5 finale isn’t that bad for the most part. Like, there’s definitely a lot of fighting going on in the finale, but if I was just changing this episode, I wouldn’t change that—because that’s in keeping with how the show’s been up to that point. The teens getting into fights and resolving their problems that way…well, no one’s really taught them better. Johnny hasn’t really done the work of deconstructing the Cobra Kai creed and realizing why it sucks (and as mentioned, he’s regressed hard, so it’ll take way more work to get him back to that point), so sure, him punching and kicking everyone makes sense too. I don’t totally remember how the Chozen vs Silver fight ends, so I don’t know if I’d change it—their fight felt more like a duel, and it is one of the things I liked (I liked their dynamic in general tbh), so maybe I’d keep it.

But where it gets most egregious is Daniel vs Silver. The rest of it, I can look past for various reasons, but this final confrontation between Daniel and Silver has just always sat wrong with me in a way I wasn’t able to describe until...yesterday, really, when I answered your ask.

Like, this is the man who traumatized Daniel in KK3 so much that he’s haunted by it even years later! The man who incited Daniel to violence, who still does in s5! He’s in Daniel’s head and he knows it!

You can’t tell me he wasn’t vindictively pleased that Daniel used violence to take him down in the end. Even to the last, he’s able to incite violence in Daniel...that’s gotta make him at least a little smug.

Contrast that with KK1, Miyagi vs Kreese. Remember that Kreese hates Mr. Miyagi even years later…why? Because Mr. Miyagi didn’t just beat him—he humiliated him, by showing him the one thing Kreese could never understand: mercy. Kreese ended up defeating himself, all because Mr. Miyagi refused to fight him head-on.

That’s pacifism. That’s refusing a fight, no matter how much the other person wants it…not because you’re afraid, or scared of fighting violently, but because you know there’s no point to it. You know this is worse for them.

(Think of ATLA’s ending. Aang removing Ozai’s bending instead of killing him—he doesn’t want Ozai to force him to betray his culture, to take the last of the Air Nomads from him…and he also knows that it’s worse for Ozai to live with the consequences, to watch his empire crumble. It’s a pacifist ending, and it’s also the one that fits the best. And Aang is certainly not a coward, is he? Of course not!)

So back to s5’s ending. I don’t remember if Silver baits Daniel into a fight, but whether he does or not, Daniel refuses to fight him. Or maybe he accepts and just…tricks Silver into hurting himself, and we get flashbacks intercutting this fight with Miyagi vs Kreese. We show that parallel. And then, at the end, Daniel honks his nose.

Silver is, of course, pissed. How dare Daniel?! He takes the cowards’ way out yet again?! Does he think Silver can be held behind bars forever—he’ll get out one day, and he’ll come for Daniel and everyone he loves!

He’s just straight-up losing it. And then...Amanda smiles at him and shows him a recording device. (Amanda punched Kreese in s3, and now she gets to take Silver down in s5. This also wraps up the plotline where Silver was able to manipulate her and turn her against Daniel—no more. She’s wise to Silver’s tricks now. He loses)

He’s done for. He’s arrested and put away for life. No contacts of Silver’s can help now, and everyone in the Valley eagerly watches every second of the trial.

Like…I get the appeal of Silver being “hoisted by his own petard”, but Daniel beating him with the Quicksilver Method…that being the last triumphant moment in s5…idk. It sits poorly with me. It’s way more satisfying for him to follow Mr. Miyagi’s example and choose pacifism—not “all offensive fighting is terrible and should never be done”, but “I have nothing to prove to you, I won’t fight you, because it will do neither of us any good. I win, and you can’t make me your violent puppet anymore.” Kinda like in Captain Marvel!

It just feels more thematically closed, if that makes sense. Like a satisfying resolution of a theme. Daniel has spent the whole show trying to be like Mr. Miyagi and doing it wrong...but now, now he does it right. Now he finds his balance, his center. That, to me, is a much better ending.

Now ofc, if we’re talking about rewriting the whole show, there would be so much I’d change. But you’ll see that unfold in the CK AU, once I get through the movies and back to the show! It doubles as a fix-it/rewrite in a lot of ways for the show, even though I haven’t really talked much about that 😂 mostly because talking too much about that right now would involve spoiling!

[beardedmrbean]

Now a game im interested in is assassin creed title that will take players to feudal Japan. Here the announcement video they did for the franchise 15th anniversary https://youtu.be/gD_DemeUuy8?si=oFcOY8AW_uHmo4N9

Now leaks revealed we are going to play as two characters, a female Shinobi who in the trailer named Naoi/Noae Fujibayashi, a daughter of a famous ninja. And African samurai who will slowly join the order that Naoi is part of the assassin brotherhood.

As you probably guess the African “Samurai” is very likely to be or based of the famous Oda Nobunaga retainer Yasuke https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yasuke

In the story leaks in reveals that Naoi and Yasuke will start out as fierce rivals/enemies as historically Nobunaga constantly tried to wipe out the ninja clans. But will later become close allies in their desires to unify Japan

Now I did my research on yasuke, he never joined the samurai class and such. I have theory when Japanese were reviewing their samurai ancestors. They made Yasuke a “honorary” samurai but Afro centrists twisted it

Now for the game they changed Yasuke backstory where he was a slave on a slave ship that was attacked and he was the only survivor. And he eventually end up under Nobunaga learning the way of the samurai

Now some people think Yasuke is as just Nobunaga pet…though it stated he was 6’2 and I can’t really believe didn’t trained him in at least the bushido code.

Now in assassin creed settings, human history was influence by mainly two secret orders and their incarnations. The assassin brotherhood (Free Will) and the Templar order (social order)

Now as I theorize about how ac red could use Yasuke, I realize that they could do a story where Yasuke joined the assassins and goes into the shadows and protect and unify japan so they don’t suffer the same hardships as him. Basically an immigrant protecting his new home.

Now it caused a shitshow on twitter when the leaks came out as they thought it was form of Afro centrism after you know the Netflix cleopatra thing. Mainly because the headlines forgot to mention he was one of the two playable characters

Now for me, Yasuke help inspired one of the first seinen anime’s my father introduced me to being Afro Samurai which the titular character was voiced by Samual Jackson.

Now we probably won’t get a proper reveal of the game until April or May as that when the company Ubisoft like to do such a big reveal. But I know he going to very likely be in the announcement trailer. So prepare for the shitshow

Sorry for these long anons, yes people pointed out ac could done a game set in Africa

But I think Yasuke fine, as 1. The Japanese has references him several times and been used as inspiration. 2. Help this feudal era game stand out from the many ones

And of course the Europeans will play important roles in red. Can I please get a historical black project that isn’t “Fuck white people!”?

I’m so starving I’m taking a video game with a huge Illuminati war and I’m leaving out the crazy scifi part

Sorry for ranting these past days. I feel like you’re one of the few tumblr people I can truly talk to

Still remember how incredibly blown away I was when I saw the first videos of the first AC game. I could never play them I knew that way the camera moves gives me vertigo and a splitting headache if I try and play games that do that for more than a couple min, never could play DooM for the same reason whole 3D thing caused actual physical pain.

Still these are beautiful looking games, *personal tangent over*

Not at all sure how accurate the stories about Yasuke are, guy absolutely existed and as thing go this is still a work of fiction so that'll be less important imho.

I'm sure we'll get people saying that if he's not chosen to lead the shogunate it's racist but those people we point and laugh at.

Now it caused a shitshow on twitter when the leaks came out as they thought it was form of Afro centrism after you know the Netflix cleopatra thing. Mainly because the headlines forgot to mention he was one of the two playable characters

Nothing like incomplete information to start a fight, you just reminded me I haven't seen anything about the Hannibal thing they're doing in a while, gets all kinds of free advertisement when the angry mob starts up and the people with the full information start responding. Do they do that on purpose as a form of viral marketing that they don't need to pay for, probably.

I know I've played a few Ubisoft games, can't remember what they were, looked at their list and it's too long so I'm letting it be.

And of course the Europeans will play important roles in red. Can I please get a historical black project that isn’t “Fuck white people!”?

Probably not, maybe they could do something where the British fleet is enforcing their blockade they set up in order to stop the ocean going transport of slaves to the Americas, or maybe French or British army going in and going to war with the various kingdoms and such in Africa that were still trying to keep the slave trade going after they were told to knock it off and stop selling their fellow Africans.

But that probably wouldn't go over too well in certain communities. The discourse would be delicious though.

Sorry for ranting these past days. I feel like you’re one of the few tumblr people I can truly talk to

you're good, it's why I leave anon on even when I'm getting attacked I like to be available for people that need a place to vent or anything really, other than the weak ass threats some of them send, if they could actually do what they say they'd do it instead of whining in my inbox

[moviemunchies]

Okay, I know I’m late. When I was in college, everyone and their mother was reading/watching The Hunger Games and I never got around to it because… I don’t know, Hype Aversion. I saw that the movies had been added to Netflix and figured I might as well try reading, and then watching them.

Welp, they took it off of Netflix but it’s been on Hulu for ages so I still watched it.

So in the dystopian world of The Hunger Games, after a catastrophe the US is reorganized into Panem, with the Capitol and thirteen Districts. When District 13 rebels against the Capitol, they’re ruthlessly crushed. The Capitol, in retaliation, institutes the annual Hunger Games to show that they’re still in charge. Every year, each District sends two Tributes picked at random, a boy and girl age 12-18, to compete in a televised death match with only one winner.

[Why yes, author of the original novel and screenwriter for this adaptation was partially inspired by the story of Athens sending tributes to Crete for King Minos to throw in the Labyrinth, I’m glad you noticed.]

Our main character, sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, has her younger sister picked to compete for District 12. Wishing to protect her sister, Katniss volunteers as Tribute in her place, and gets pulled into the competition with a boy from her class, Peeta. Now, with only a few days of training and guidance from their drunken mentor, Haymitch (the only living person from District 12 who has won the Hunger Games before), she’s got to figure out how to survive the games.

This is a movie about a bunch of kids murdering each other as televised entertainment. Considering that premise, it’s amazing that this movie is only rated PG-13. It tones down some of the deaths from the book, but just barely–you still get the idea that these kids are murdering each other in incredibly brutal ways.

Aside from that there are other noticeable changes from the book, and there kind of have to be. On the one hand, I think it would have been effective if, once Katniss entered the competition, we don’t view any scenes that aren’t a part of the Hunger Games. So, like Katniss in the book, we are limited in what we know and can only guess what’s going on outside. But given that we are not in Katniss’s head, there are a lot of things that would be difficult to explain to the viewer if we didn’t have her stop the action and explain to the audience, and that would be a pain in the butt for a movie to do, so I guess I’m okay with what they ended up doing.

Because we’re getting a lot outside of the protagonist’s viewpoint, the way the narrative frames the Hunger Games is different. Don’t get me wrong, in both cases it’s clearly BAD, and the audience understands that (at least they should–if not, talk to someone). Katniss in the book always refers to it as a punishment for the Districts though–here, we see it described through the Capitol’s propaganda, which depicts the Hunger Games as, well, a particularly intense reality show, and the winner as a celebrity champion and not a scarred and traumatized young person. It’s an interest switch on delivering the same message about how the people in power are using media to control and manipulate perceptions.

There’s also a lot less of the romance storyline. I like that. And I get why it’s in the book, and that we’re reading the story from first-person perspective, and the whole point is that Katniss and Peeta use this romance angle to their advantage to keep themselves alive by playing up audience sympathy, okay, yeah. I get it. That’s why I find it more excusable in the book than something like An Ember in the Ashes, in which I wonder why anyone cares about romance with everything else going on. But it wasn’t much fun in the book. So I’m glad it’s considerably toned down in the movie.

Don’t know if that will carry through in the next two–three? Sorry, I forgot the final movie was split in two. That’s dumb (I say without having read the final book so maybe it’s justified; but I doubt it).

I think there’s a danger with a story like this of glamorizing the Hunger Games themselves. I don’t know if that’s just easier in a movie than it is with the book, but you’re tempted to root for certain characters and act like it’s entertainment. And yeah, it’s a movie, so it kind of IS entertainment, but it’s also a horrific method of controlling the populace by coercing children to murder each other. We shouldn’t be cheering for certain strategies or attacks, we should just be horrified that it’s happening at all. It’s really cool that after one character’s death, we see what happens in her District–they immediately start rebelling because of how terrible the situation leading up to it was.

I am looking forward to seeing how the movies depict this rebellion, considering how much The Hunger Games made it into the public conversation about resistance and thwarting tyranny.

This is a good, dark film, and a fairly good adaptation that manages to give you most of the harshest parts of the book without being incredibly gory. It works, and though there are some decisions I don’t know if they were best (showing outside of Katniss’s point of view), I understand those decisions. It’s a dark subject matter though, so I understand that the movie’s not for everyone.

[hoperays-song]

Things Gooseless Did During Their Finals Weeks

(Because my school is bloody insane and my finals are over like two weeks instead of one. It’s like they want us to get ulcers.)

-----------------------------------

1. Spammed their english professor with literary memes.

2. Wrote frog comics on the bottom of the paragraph response forms in environmental science.

3. Somehow slept for 17 hours straight immediately after my first Friday exam... I typically have insomnia, I pretty sure my family thought I was going into a coma.

4. Got compared to Hunter from The Owl House because of my eye bags twice in one day.

5. Pulled a few all nighters to turn in late assignments that even my professors forgot I had. I still barely passed but hey, I passed.

6. Had a sensory overload and a migraine attack because I wasn’t allowed headphones in the silent testing lab. And no I wasn’t allowed to wear them after either. Yay.

7. Had to write the sentence, “Asian carp have invaded Lake Eerie”, on previously mentioned environmental science final and immediately thought about that one news dude who made everyone believe aliens were invading.

8. Wrote three essays about warrior cats books. :)

9. Put fun facts in my answer book when I got bored and didn’t know how to respond to the prompt... So for every prompt. 

10. Bashed my art history professor on those essay response forms by listing everything I argued with him about all year. If you can’t tell, I’m petty apparently.

11. Drew a truly awful self portrait. Like next level horrible. :)

12. Wrote commentary on every question on my English (second) exam. Like actual running commentary on the questions. My teacher just sighed when she saw it (she laughed though, glared at me, but laughed while grading it).

13. Cried four times in one day. That was fun.

14. Found out that banana pudding has layers?!?!?! And is actually vanilla pudding with bananas?!?!?

15. Binged the whole of Netflix’s Queen Charlotte solely for the annoyed gay butlers trying to parent trap their bosses. 

16. Found three of said professors emails and now have a way to get in touch with them after graduation (NEXT WEEK!!!!), because they honestly know waaaayyyyy too much about my life for me not to at this point.

17. Correctly guessed how many questions I would get right on my mathematics final (80% baby).

18. Baked four whole trays of cookies to give to my professors as an end of year gift. I was a horrible student. They deserve at least cookies.

19. Started planning out a tattoo for me to get. :)

20. Wrote two thousand more words of the continuation fic as well as started on a few short ones for a different fandom and the warriors au.

21. Took a very unplanned hiatus (still not back, sorry y’all).

22. Watched a total of twenty hours of movie and tv show analysis videos within three days. 

23. Reached one year in one of my recovery programs and three months in another!!!!!!!!

24. Had to say goodbye to my friends and my daughter since now I won’t be in school with them next year (still in contact with several of them, daughter including, just can’t see her in person due to me moving). It sucked.

25. Worked on more character backstories that will be coming soon. Hopefully. As in once I get off hiatus, expect like four angsty backstories.

[captainhongjoong]

first of all i miss yuji so bad. i was really hoping he’d come back but he was like the only one that didn’t. he can’t still be in jail

anyway i guess it makes sense for jinsu to become an executor but also huh. what. is he just special or does it mean something else like this is where the executors come from? assholes like jinsu who are responsible for people dying over the concept of sin? AND it didn’t happen until he actually looked in the mirror for long enough and let it get him. like how denying the truth about everything was safer for him and when he admitted it was when everything was ruined. a+

and i need to know more about what park jungja’s hell was like. if she didn’t know what jinsu was talking about and obviously she didn’t become an executor and she came back with one (1) psychic ability but she was also completely insane for four years (? four years right) afterwards what the fuck happened to her

i love park jungja bc her fate is so grossly ironic. like the whole point of her is that she is just a person, she isn’t representative of any organization or principle, she just wants to live and be with her kids but that’s exactly why she has to be the Resurrected One and why all of them are fighting over her. and another thing!! before jinsu’s demonstration he said he was leaving the fate of the world in the hands of the detective guy. in HIS hands because he gave him the choice between revealing the truth and living his normal human life. and you could say that all of this happened because of him but him choosing to stay with his daughter is the whole point. this guy and park jungja and the taxi driver from s1e6 are the only ones who get it

and until they showed that jaehyeon had been resurrected too i thought this was actually the end of the series for sure. and it still might be but it’s open ended enough that they could continue it i guess? anyway WHAT is hell like for a newborn baby?? and she turned out normal (supposedly). oh i forgot about the mass decree and jungja saying the world was ending soon lol. well

but surprise i’m so obsessed with jinsu still. this post will NOT be about sungcheol but ohh my god. the transformation from arrogant douchebag “this world is doomed without my guidance” to crying mess “fuck this world i just want to stop suffering” is so fucking tasty. like the same man who used to save children from burning buildings or whatever is doing a january 6th and doesn’t care how many people die or what happens bc he just wants to maybe hopefully stop seeing the executor in the mirror. it’s so good. i wish the beatings had continued but ykw i got more than i could have asked for in the beginning

basically i’m so happy netflix pulled off a good second season. and this is not just bc of sungcheol either but season 2 might have even been better than season 1. i may be able to recover from sweet home after all

@ my hellbound friend i will message you tomorrow i’m omw to sleep and collecting my thoughts!!

[asp1990]

Day 14: Thursday 3rd October, 2024 [WLG → MEL]

Breakfast: Yoghurt & muesli in the hotel room Lunch: Delicious airport dumplings Dinner: Plane -  pulled pork, mash & veg

Amara woke me up at 8.30am this morning by putting on all of the lights so she could pack. I asked her to turn the lights off so I could keep sleeping, but she said she needed to see. I tried to sleep under the covers for 10 more minutes but then decided to get up as it was too bright and noisy. 

Amara continued packing while I was in the shower and when I got out, she was pretty much ready to do one last explore of Wellington before heading to the airport. It was miserable and raining outside, so I wasn’t very enthused and didn’t really have anything else to see/do/buy, so I decided to stay in the hotel room and read. I had a coffee & a yoghurt/muesli, whilst reading, that we had bought the night before.Amara had wrangled us a 12.30pm check out (unheard of!) so we weren’t in a rush. Amara was gone for 2 hours and I got a decent chunk of my book (All Fours - Miranda July) and put the last bits & pieces in my luggage. I felt a bit anxious about “wasting time” while overseas, but needed to remember to be ok with slowing down after such a busy trip.

We checked out at 12.30pm and I booked an Uber to the airport. We bumped into Jo Raph again and had a lovely chat about the WoW show the previous night and what an unexpected and lovely surprise it was to spend so much with with her. Airport security didn’t open until 1.30pm, so we were stuck in limbo until then. Amara was frustrated that we couldn’t get into the Business Class Lounge earlier (Amara had upgraded her ticket using FF points and was able to bring in a guest - woohoo!) but I was starving, so I grabbed some pork dumplings from a restaurant and they were incredibly tasty and fresh. 

At 1.30pm we went to queue up for security and it took about 15 minutes. The airport music was a great playlist and Amara and I had a little boogie while we waited. One of the songs was a Zumba song that I used to do in classes with Tiff, so I giggled when I remembered the whole routine. Security rules have changed and we didn’t have to remove devices or liquids from bags, so that made things a bit smoother, but my bag got swabbed for ‘explosives’ afterwards because I had my laptop and Kindle in it so I wondered if it was just easier to pull those items out. 

We shopped briefly in Duty Free to purchase some booze and I bought Morgan and I Kahlua & vodka to replenish our espresso martini supplies. The staff member, Andrew, who helped us out really did us a solid by giving us a special combo deal when the vodka we wanted wasn’t part of the ‘2-for-$65’ deal. He was a really lovely guy and when I told him that my cat loved the expanding paper wrapping that he put over the bottles, he popped half a dozen more in the bag for her. What a sweetheart!

Once in the business class lounge, we grabbed a glass of champagne to celebrate a wonderful trip and some tasty snacks. The lemon cheesecake was divine! I read my book and finished my 1-second everyday video that I’d made. Our flight boarded on time and I called Morgan before we taxi’d out to make sure he was still OK to pick me up. 

The flight was uneventful - I read more of my book (really chugging through it) and then watched a Netflix show on my phone. The most ‘exciting’ thing that happened was that the flight attendants forgot to serve my isle lunch and I had to ring the customer button to remind them. The food was a bit average, but the cheese & crackers afterwards were yummy. We landed just after 4pm, we cruised through customs with nothing to declare and although Amara’s suitcase was one of the first on the carousel, I had to wait an extra 10 minutes for mine. Luckily my new purple suitcase was easy to spot! It was an excellent purchase.

Morgi was waiting outside, in my car, when I exited the terminals and I was very happy to be back in my car, with my favourite person, on the way home to be with my cat and all of my stuff!

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this trip, but was a bit surprised by how easily fatigued I was. It was probably just a contrast to the personalities of the other people I was travelling with, but I often found myself needing a bit of space and quiet. I am incredibly grateful to have visited so many beautiful places, especially Hobbiton, and can’t wait to hopefully go again soon with Dad!

Until next time xx

[alreadyblondenow]

Box of crayons

“We were just two kids back then, but now we have two kids.”

Pairing: Jaehyun x female!reader Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst if you squint, childhood friends to lovers, growing up au, college au, to being married. WC: 3,522k Warnings: mentions of getting bullied during kindergarten, alcohol consumption on a college party, getting drunk, swearing, spitting, oral sex: male and female receiving, slight cum play, overstimulation, fingering, cream pie, unprotected sex, switching positions, smut scene is kind of long. A/N: I just want to post something.

Meant to be. You and Jaehyun are meant to be. But not as lovers, at least not yet. For now, you believe that you and Jaehyun are meant to be best friends.

It all started when you saw him starring at his blank paper, close to tears while other kids are teasing him for not having a box of crayons. You came in bolting and scaring those kids with your wrath and told Jaehyun, “stop being such a loser,” and shared with him your box of crayons.

On the next day, you forgot your colors at home and you felt like such a loser because everyone was busy drawing and coloring their works while you’re stuck with this great idea in your mind for your artwork.

“Stop being such a loser,” Jaehyun said and sat beside you to share his box of colors with you this time.

That was the day you learned, at a very young age, that boxes of crayons that has a hundred colors are meant to be shared. You and Jaehyun became friends starting that day and your friendship became like a box of crayons that you’re willing to share with each other.

As long as you both have some colors left on your box, you’re willing to share and got each other’s back.

Your friendship grew and grew during kindergarten, grade school, and high school. Until your families acknowledged your friendship and thought that maybe someday you’ll end up together. On top of that, you and Jaehyun grew up together and watch each other achieve different kinds of great things. May it be through sports, academics, or your hobbies.

“Hey loser,” you sat beside him during lunch break and distract him from doing his assignment.

“Hey yourself” he smirked and continued writing.

It was a busy day in school, the student body organization was busy the whole week because of prom. And to be honest, you are too, you were busy with your dress and you were busy looking for the perfect tie for Jaehyun. And now, you’re just waiting for him to pop the question and finally ask you to prom, which he will because you’re best friend right? So that made you very excited and giddy.

“What do you think of Yeri?” He asked out of nowhere. Smiling and playing with his pen while waiting for your answer but you already felt nervous.

“Popular- She bullied you when we were kids? Why?” you answered short and cold. And you wonder why the man beside you is smiling like a fool.

“I’m taking her to prom, she said yes. It was yesterday in the library, I talked to her, and went straight to the point. I made her blush like crazy...” he proudly told you the story of how he asked someone else to prom but your ears started ringing and you can't hear anything he says already. Turns out when you were busy looking for the perfect tie for him yesterday, he was busy asking the girl he likes to prom.

Everything shifted after prom, you and Jaehyun stopped talking to each other but he was too busy with his new girlfriend to notice that.

Graduation came and summer took place, you and Jaehyun are going to the same college but now you’re not sure if he still wanted the same thing because rumors are he and Yeri are so in love that they will go to the same college. It's useless to reach out if life will eventually separate you and Jaehyun might as well accept it.

As you enter college and made great new friends, you forgot about Jaehyun and focus on your studies during freshman year. But during the start of your sophomore year and while you were at the library to borrow a few books you bumped into him and were forced to catch up and had coffee for old times sake. He paid for the drinks and snacks, obviously, he was happy to see you but you looked uninterested.

And when he noticed that he’s probably taking too much of your time, he finally started a conversation. “I transferred just this semester and I was actually looking forward to seeing you. How are you?”

“Great- look I have to study and I can’t be out this long, uhm...” you started to gather your stuff and ramble. “Maybe some other time Jae,” you said and left with a fake smile. You almost feel bad about what you did but he can’t just waltz back into your life like he didn’t forget about you the moment he had a girlfriend. Now ex-girlfriend.

And as your college years continue, a catch-up never happened again. Although he tried so many times to take you out, but you always refuse and avoid him with all your might whenever you see him around the campus. He was so consistent with bringing you back to his life but you just don’t care anymore because truth be told you were hurt when he left you. Maybe this is revenge? Maybe not? But one thing is for sure, you got hurt and you hated him for it.

Now that you’re in your senior and everything is very stressful, you decided to go to this party with your friends and you were so unlucky that Jaehyun was there with his set of friends, busy playing beer pong and being loud as fuck. Of course he saw you and it halted his moves, he wanted to come say hi to you or hand you a drink but you will for sure pretend that he is invisible so he didn’t.

The party was fun. Thankfully, there were a lot of snacks and overflowing alcoholic beverages as well as non-alcoholic beverages. And because you suck at drinking games, you were downing tequilas and vodkas the whole night and that’s how you got batshit drunk that Jaehyun found you on the bathroom inside the empty tub, sleeping like a baby with a red cup in your hand.

He knew right then and there that he is responsible for you.

“Y/n, it’s Jae. Can you walk?” he asked while patting your head softly. But you can’t talk right now, so you just shook your head ‘no’ and reached for him. You knew that it’s him and you can hear him perfectly but your brain is not working right and the room can’t stop spinning. And you can’t believe you’re saying this but you’re happy that he’s here to take care of you.

You had this same feeling when you forgot your crayons back then and he came to rescue you from your little situation. He’s the same Jaehyun after all.

He offered to drive you back to your dorm which you accepted without any argument, you could’ve thanked him if only you can talk properly. He was so concerned to you that he cleared the backseat of his car and let you lie there comfortably with his jacket covering your legs. And when he brought you to your dorm safely and in one piece, he can't just leave you sleeping with your dirty clothes and helped you clean yourself with closed eyes. Everything was a challenge for him, especially when he had to close his eyes before he removes your blouse, pants, unclasp your bra and make you wear something comfortable to sleep.

Jaehyun then pats your head softly and told you “I’ll get going then, good night” before he leaves and thankfully, you were quick to stop him and you had enough energy to tell him to stay. He smiled so big and felt so happy that he wanted to scream and jump around your room. But he controlled himself and removed his shoes before he lies beside you in your comfortable bed.

To his shock, you swing your arms around him and pulled him closer to you for a tight embrace that he eventually returned. Caressing your back as he melts to your embrace and enjoys the happiness that he’s feeling right now.

“I’m sorry,” he started and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“I missed you. Never hurt me again like that, Jaehyun I swear-“

“Shhh. I will never do that to you again,” he said and hummed a song oh so softly until you fall asleep together and meet in each other’s dreams.

Just as you thought that your friendship will never come back, it did and this time it came back with love. But even though that this time love is around to make you two stick together, you never admitted your feelings to each other. You just let your actions do the talking. From him holding your hand during a scary Netflix movie, to you holding his hand while he drives. It was a simple and comfortable ‘relationship’ and you wish he would make it official.

But during a beautiful rainy day when you and Jaehyun decided to stay at your place and enjoy the cold bed weather together instead of going to the movies... everything suddenly fell into place.  

“Mmm. Feels good” Jaehyun moaned as you concentrate on lining the face mask on his face properly. You’re sitting comfortably on top of him, your legs placed on both of his sides, while he’s leaning on your headboard with closed eyes, feeling so relaxed as you pamper him with skincare.

“Stop moaning, my dorm mates might think we're having sex,” you giggle and rake his hair away from his covered face. Holding it nicely as you lean closer to his chest to enjoy the comfort of being on top of him.

“Comfortable?” he asked and placed his hands on your back and made you lean on him completely. He started caressing your back and his soft touches are making you sleepy. You may not know, but he’s very much in love with you and that he will do everything just to keep you this time. He’s just waiting for the perfect time to admit his feelings to you and make everything official.

“Okay times up,” you excitedly said and started removing the face mask. While wiping his clear and handsome face, you see redness on his cheeks and his ears are turning red. You smiled and let out a giggle because that only means Jaehyun is flustered right now.

“Can you blame me? You’re so close to me and you’re literally on top of my dick. Don’t make fun of me if I get hard,” he said with a shy smile. Eyes turning into crescents and his cute dimples are deeper than ever. So instead of making him shy, you decided to make him nervous by grinding on him slowly but with enough pressure to make him in the mood and hard in no time.

His eyes went big when you rolled your hips once. Then it became even bigger when you rolled your hips a few times again which made him tensed up and hold his breath. “Stop it,” he said, but with a smile, that’s so big. He’s completely aware that you’re teasing him.

“But do you really want me to stop?” you said and put more effort into what you’re doing to him. Grinding slowly and deliciously, rolling your head and parting your lips. But the thing is, you’re not acting anymore. Jaehyun does feel so good right now and you’re liking what you started. And now that you’re letting out small moans, Jaehyun came close to you and caught your lips. Holding your head steady and kissing you like how he always wanted to.

“If you don’t stop now, I’ll really, really, really take advantage of this moment,” he said and went back to kissing you. A mixture of happiness and lust and you both feel like your hearts are about to burst because of what's happening right now. Kissing each other while smiling in between, kissing each other even more deeper by every second. It’s like your kisses were saying, ‘i love you’ ‘no, i love you more’. And as you two are busy with your lips, you felt Jaehyun’s hands slip inside your shirt and draw small circles on your skin while kissing as if he wanted you to lift your shirt but he’s just too shy to tell you. So without any warning, you stopped kissing him only to remove your shirt and remove your bra in front of him.

This may not be Jaehyun’s first time seeing a naked girl in front of him, but you sure did make him shy that he avoided looking at you. Flashing those dimples again, and witnessing his ears turn bright red. Brighter than ever. “Stop being shy and touch me,” you command and put your hand on his nape and reached for his other hand to place it on your shoulder. Giving him the freedom to touch you and roam his hand around your body as you continue to grind your clothed pussy on his hard dick.

Soon his hand finally started to move, touching your boobs first and kneading them slowly and carefully until Jaehyun became comfortable and confident to request that you remove your shorts too. Which you did gladly, so now you’re left with only your panties, kissing Jaehyun on the neck and making the man moan and feel good. Lifting his shirt without any hesitation and exposing his very hot body before your eyes and left kisses on it immediately.

Kisses after kisses you made him weak until you reach his sweat pants and pull it down together with his boxers brief so you can plant kisses on his happy trail, lower abdomen, and finally his hard cock. And there it is again, his handsome dimpled smile that shows his shyness. His cock twitched when your cold hands made contact with his cock, pumping it slowly while you watch him close his eyes and roll his head back. He watched you spit on his cock, and slowly put his whole size in your mouth. Gripping the sheets as he loses his mind, gripping the sheets as he breathes in and out heavily, letting out deep groans and making sweet moans.

“Y/n, s-stop. I’m about to cum,” he pleaded but you didn’t stop. Instead, you moved your head even faster, worked with your tongue, and made sure to never let him forget this moment that his whole cock is in your mouth for the first time.

After a few minutes of pleasure, Jaehyun came into your mouth and you witnessed him shaking and moaning on your bed with a satisfied smile. Still, with a sensitive body, you lay on top of him and teased him from cumming so soon. “You’re dead,” he said and smiled so sweetly at you. Encircling his arms around your body and kissing you a couple of times before he changed places with you. Finally, removing your panties and making you spread your legs for him, holding you with utmost care and kissing you with a mixture of love and lust.

If you tortured him earlier with your trail of kisses on his body, now it’s Jaehyun’s turn to torture you with him kissing your inner thighs oh so softly that it sends tingles straight to your spine and making your legs close automatically. “Uh-uh, I endured everything you did to me earlier,” he said, teasing you before he slides his fingers up and down your slit and finally licking it slowly. Spitting on your cunt just how you spit on his dick earlier and started pleasuring you with his hot tongue. Your hand automatically landed on his head, gripping his soft locks as he licks you slowly and torturing you with that damn wet muscle.

And when he finally made you cum and had his sweet revenge, he kissed you all over your body and put his entire weight on top of you. Letting your nipples brush on his chest and his hand soothe your sensitive body.

It was quiet for a moment, and only your heavy breaths can be heard in your room besides the air conditioning. He nibbles your earlobes and spreads kisses on your neck while slightly grinding his hard cock on your very wet pussy, waiting for you to calm down so he can finally fuck you.

“I was planning to take you out on a proper date first before we go to this stage. You just have to be so impatient, huh?” he shook his head in disbelief and kissed your lips again before he pulls away, putting both his hands on the sides of your head. His cock was very hard that you almost thought it wouldn’t fit, “Don’t worry you’re so wet. It will slide in easily” he said before he told you to line his cock so he can finally push in.

Slowly he stretches you out, rolling his head back and so are his eyes, while you on the other hand grip your boobs knead them as you feel Jaehyun’s cock slide in and out. “Jaehyun, deeper-“ you requested and let out a moan that made him gave in to your request. He adjusts your position, folded your knee before he spreads you open, thrusting deeper than before that his lower abdomen touches yours. Losing your mind whenever you take a peek at the motion of his hips while fucks you, Jaehyun was so hot as he moves his waist and kept his eyes only to you, this time he’s the one making you feel so shy.

“You like it this way? Deep and slow?" you only nod, “Wanna go another round after this?” you smiled and nod again, “Do you love me?”

And then he started thrusting faster and harder that your body was dragged on the mattress, and your boobs are bouncing up and down because of his hard thrust. Jaehyun came close to you for a kiss, still waiting for your answer. Although he knew already that you do love him by the way you kiss him, still he needed to hear it from you. “I want to hear it Y/n,” Jaehyun pleaded again and hold on to your waist tightly as he fucks you harder than before.

“I do Jae- fuck, slow down. Almost there” you croaked but its too late, Jaehyun’s thumb is on your clit, ready to torture you again and make you cum for the second time tonight.

Locking your legs around his waist as you enjoy your high and oversensitivity, you didn’t expect that you’d ask for more and beg for more the moment you hit your high that Jaehyun got more excited that he almost forgot to pull out. And when he did, he came on your pussy lips, watching his cum paint your wet folds and throbbing cunt. Of course the man above you isn’t satisfied with all the torture he did tonight, so he slides his fingers on your cunt, playing with his own cum and finger fucked you to give you another mind blowing orgasm.

The eventful bed weather ended with you and Jaehyun cuddling in your bed with his hands on your thigh and you’re wearing nothing but his black shirt and a pair of panties while he stays handsome and so irresistible in his boxers briefs.

“I promise to love you,” he whispered to you while drawing small and soft circles on your thighs, his eyes never left yours. “I promise to stay even though you’re so stubborn,” he added which made you giggle and happy.

FIVE YEARS LATER

During a very quiet night where Jaehyun’s hands are intertwined with yours and his embrace was tighter than ever because he was really tired from work, Jaehyun was having a cute dream. He dreamt about how you saved him from the bullies back when you were only innocent kids. He was smiling through his dream until he hears a cry. A cry of an infant and opened his eyes immediately. You stopped him from getting up and told him, “I got it Jae, go sleep. You’ve been up the whole day,”

Jaehyun has become a great provider for your small family now. And he was working hard to the bone that he barely gets enough sleep during weekdays. “Thank you,” murmured and closed his hands again. And after you put your babies to sleep again and went back to Jaehyun’s embrace, Jaehyun was deep in his sleep that he’s sleep talking and murmuring sweet nothings, the kind where you only hear whenever you have slow sex.  

“We were just two kids back then, but now we have two kids. I will buy them boxes of boxes of crayons so bullies will never touch them,”

You giggle and pulled him closer. Hoping that he will ramble more because he’s so cute right now. “I love you,” you said, you weren’t expecting something in return but he responded.

“I just realized I never thanked you for sharing your crayons with me back then, thank you” he said and opened his eyes and went on top of you to kiss you sincerely. His wife. “I love you”  

[jaesblogstuff]

Fine Times

A/N: Hectic day and was a wrote this in between. Nothing much. Enjoy :)

Warnings: Language, little fluff.

Jack loved when you cooked for him, especially when it came to your chicken alfredo. But on this occasion, he wanted to be the one to cook it for you. Now, what possessed him to do this? Cooking series. Lately, he's been obsessed with watching several cooking series on Netflix and he wanted to try and cook you his favourite meal.

You weren't completely oblivious to this, but you knew he was up to something because he was in the kitchen. Jack is never in the kitchen. But you left it like that, once he doesn't burn it down.

And so he started, but where? 

From watching you, he knew he had the pasta and so he filled a pot with water and placed it on the stove at a high heat to boil. Next in the meantime was the chicken. He was good at that nonetheless, but he didn't know how to get it the way you would do it. He took the thawed chicken which he had set aside and placed it in a bowl. The pantry was where you kept all of your seasonings, and so he grabbed each one and winged it.

When he was satisfied with the outcome, he turned on the frying pan and placed the chicken to simmer and cook. He got to this point though and forgot everything about the water he was boiling. Great.

You were seated on the couch, not bothering to check in on what Jack was doing, but you could smell something..burning. But it wasn't like burning, something smelt hot.

Jack forgot about the water he was boiling.

“For the love of..” you hummed to yourself as you got up off of the couch to see what he was up to. Jack wasn't in the kitchen. “How is he cooking and is nowhere to be seen” you questioned. You checked the chicken. It was fine. Then what was burning? You checked the pot. No water. “What the actual fuck…Jackman Harlow!, where are you?”

“I'm coming mamas,” he said as he ran down the stairs into the kitchen. “Yeah what up?”

“What is this,” you replied pointing to the empty pot being heated on the stove.

“Shit I forgot about that, I was boiling the water for the pasta.”

“You’re banned from cooking, Jack,” you said as you chuckled picking up the pot to refill.

“y/n you’re being dramatic.”

“You burnt water for fuck sake!”

“I’m sorry” he laughed. The laugh that you loved to hear which made your heart whole and happy. “I’m going to finish this up..don't worry.” - “But lemme help ma.”

“Fine..keep an eye on the chicken please and make sure it doesn't BURN!”

“Alright Alright”, he said with a cheeky smile.

You filled up the pot once more and placed it back on the stove to boil again. You knew Jack loved fresh herbs in his alfredo sauce so you made your way to the pantry and grabbed some garlic, chimes, and parsley.

The way you took control of things and made sure everything was good made Jack crazy about you. That was one of the many things he loved about you. Oh and that you could cook a wicked meal. He loved that.

You were cutting the herbs one after the next when you felt his chest rest against your back and large hands gliding around your waist. Then followed by peppering kisses around your exposed neck.

“Mhm that smells good” *kisses* “you know that I love when you cook for me” *kisses* “I really really love you y/n” *kisses*

“Jack, if you keep doing this, you are not going to get anything to eat.”

“I have something else in mind that I could ea-”. “Alright Jackman, how about you go and check on the chicken that was cooking for the past 15 minutes” you cut him off from his smart remark. “Alright mamas” he snickered, placing one last kiss to your cheek.

And so said so done. He went and checked on the chicken. “Yeah it's done, and also tastes amazing. I did that.” “You sure did, baby.” you smiled. He was like a little kid making their first achievements.

You then continued to make the sauce and by then the pasta was finished. You combined them and, Voila, a meal was served.

“Can you set the table? I'll put out our plates.” you said as you portioned out the food and Jack was off to set the table. You place each plate in one of your hands and head to the table. It was set. There on, you two sat down and indulged in the delicious meal.

“Mhm this is amazing, I love cooking with you. We should do this more often”

“Yeah, with you just watching, I'm kidding.” you shot back.

“Love you.” - “Love you too.”

[glenncoco4]

Netflix

A/N: It kinda started to get away from me in the last line…it was going places I didn’t know it wanted to. (Rated T)

••••

She plops down on the couch and turns on the tv, immediately rolling her eyes at the show that’s at the front of their Continue Watching row on Netflix. “Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?” He calls back, stepping out of the hall and into the family room

“You wanna explain this?”

The investigator’s cerulean blues follow his wife’s, How to Build a Sex Room. “I finished Fixer Upper and needed something else to watch.”

Her brow furrows, almost scolding him. “Really?”

“No, not really. Our sex life is acrobatic enough for me.”

She bites back a smile, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks. “Okay, then if not you and not me, then wh-“

Before the brunette can finish her sentence their oldest interrupts her as she walks into the room trailed by her little sister. “Hey, guys.”

Realization hits Deeks first. His palm finds his forehead in distress. “Oh, god, I’m not prepared for this.”

Kensi looks at her husband who is pacing back and forth, she’s doing her best not to do the same…at least until they get their answer. “Um, girls, have you been watching Netflix?”

Both girls’ brows furrow in unison as they shake their heads. “We’re trying to catch up on all the Marvel stuff.”

“Oh thank god.” The blonde clutches his chest, letting out a sigh of relief as he plops down next to his wife on the couch, and throws his head back, trying to slow his heart rate back down.

“Why, what’s wrong?” The youngest of the two speaks up.

Kensi shakes her head, doing her best to school her own features and calm her heart rate down. “Oh, it’s nothing you two need to worry about.”

Before anything else can be said there’s a rattling of keys and the front door slowly opens. A gravelly voice entering the room before its owner. “Are my girls ready?”

The partners’ eyes go wide in unison as they turn towards each other…mystery solved.

Kensi looks to her husband and then to Rosa and Pilar. “Girls, why don’t y’all go get your things together so we can talk to Grandma B before you leave.”

“Ooooh, you’re in trouble.” Pilar smiles as she and Rosa start towards the hall.

Mama B sticks her tongue out at them, making the teens laugh as they run off to their room.

Once they’re outta sight, the older woman turns to Agent and Investigator bemused.“All right, out with it.”

“Care to explain this?” Deeks walks up to the TV pointing at the shows that caused this whole debacle.

At the sight of the title, her eyes light up in excitement as if she forgot about something and suddenly remembered. “Oh! Don’t lose my place, I found this perfect setup that I want to show Holly.”

The blonde tilts his head back, eyes finding the ceiling that distressed feeling approaching once again. “This is not happening.”

“I thought you two like Hollace?”

“We do as our boss, not as-“

“Your sex toy.” The brunette finishes her husband’s sentence, cringing at just the thought of her mother-in-law and the admiral in their extracurricular.

The redhead crosses her arms over her chest. “Well, you two are just gonna have to get used to it. I love him, he loves me and that’s all that should matter.”

“Did you just say, love? Kens, did she just say love?”

Mama B nods her head, answering her son’s question to his wife. “I did and I can’t explain it. We’re so different but we’re not if that makes sense.”

A smile curls at the brunette’s lips as she turns to her husband, they’re so different in almost every aspect of their lives but they’re not all at the same time. You can’t help who you fall in love with. “Yeah, it does.”

“And it doesn’t hurt that the man has the biggest-“

“Mom!” The blonde shouts, cutting off the fiesty redhead right as the girls walk back into the room.

“Heart. He has the biggest heart.” She locks eyes with Kensi, sending her a playful wink before turning to her weekend roommates. “You girls ready?”

“Yeah.” The teens answer in unison stepping out of the front door and begin walking to the car before turning back, the oldest saying the first goodbyes to their adoptive parents followed by the youngest, whose parting words crack a smile on the pairs’ faces. “Bye, Kens. Bye, Party Marty.”

“Bye, girls.” Kensi answers for them as the blonde wraps his arm around her, pulling her into his side.

Once the girls get into the car, Mama B  is about halfway across the yard before turning back to the pair, giving them her own parting words of advice. “Oh, and, kids, I know it’s been a while since you two have been alone but please go easy this weekend. I don’t need one of you ending up in the hospital again.”

“Goodbye, mother.” Deeks rolls his eyes, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks as he notices their new neighbor out in his front lawn within earshot.

Once the 3 drive off, Kensi and Deeks make their way back into the house. The brunette releases a sigh of defeat. “You know, she’s right. We probably should go easy.”

Hearing the words leave his wife’s lips as he shuts the front door triggers something primal in him and before either of them knows it he has her pressed against the wall, his lips hot on hers.

Their tongues are dueling when air suddenly becomes scarce, forcing them to pull back. “Or-or not.” A moan escapes her lips as he thrusts his hips, bringing his hard cock even closer to her moist lips. “Yeah, probably not.”