#and then I would potentially not see my family for years
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i suspect bringing them up to market weight would take so long as to render it not really worth it but do you know anyone who eats their peafowl? do you? they take so long to mature and seem so much more difficult than chicken or turkey i can only imagine eating them is more of a flex than a practical use for them
I will put this under a cut since it discusses animal death.
I don't know anyone that raises them specifically for eating, but I know that there's at least one place that (was, last I checked) sells processed yearlings for eating, and I've known several breeders who have eaten peafowl or let birds go for meat, but it's not common as most breeders see them as 'ornamental' fowl. I have given two overtly aggressive, unsuitable young males to a hunter friend to process for his family, and sold one yearling male to a hunter coworker for a holiday dinner on a year I had a lot of extra males. I have culled a few chicks over the years, either due to health or sex, but I've never eaten peafowl myself, and have no plans to; however, I wouldn't refuse to eat it if it were being served by someone else. I have no moral objection to livestock animals being used for livestock purposes. I personally have to have a separation of church and state where it regards livestock, though; they can be here to be pets, or they can be here to go elsewhere including food, but they cannot be here to be pets and then be eaten.
And peafowl ARE livestock. Like, legally they are considered livestock, the same as chickens and game fowl (like pheasants and turkey), under the "poultry" umbrella. They're just not all that great for meat purposes. There is not real "butcher weight" for peafowl since they're not a common food animal, but there's not a lot of sense to raising them for meat past 8 months or so, as they put on size rapidly til about 6 months, and from there it's a slow growth of adding bulk and growing feathers. Heritage turkeys you also raise for about that amount of time, but while they're lean, they're still not as lean as peafowl.
The chicks, though, are the problem for food production; they're extremely fragile compared to any other fowl chick I've raised (pheasants, quail, chickens, guinea, turkeys, ducks). Peafowl are slow growing, and extremely dependent on their mothers or an "example" bird, and will not eat and drink enough if left on their own in a brooder. They take HOT hot temps for way longer than other fowl. It just takes so much more to get them to the right age.
So, IMO at least, they're not really "worth" raising for the express purpose of meat. They don't do well in small spaces, the hens only lay ~30-35 eggs a year if they are pushed beyond what is healthy for them (doing this repeatedly WILL shorten their lifespan from 20+ years with a potential for 40+ years to around 15 years) or more like 6-12 if you aren't pushing them, compared to chicken that lay 200-350 a year depending on the breed. The chicks are hard to raise and are care and space intense. All for about the same amount of meat you'd get from a chicken. BUT, if there's a problem with them (poor temperament, deformities, etc), they can be eaten just like any fowl.
I do have photos of a butchered peafowl in my peafowl masterpost, you can find the link on my blog, along with other posts I have made on this subject.
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Aight, so, while I'm trying to calm down from certain event
I'm gonna try to write on Muu, specifically relation to what happened regarding Haruka, cause I see left and right people who either jump on to see her as this completely evil irredeemable being or as a totally a good friend who did everything in her power but she just didn't know!!! 🥺🥺 And I feel like both of those takes are... not quite right? Uh, because it's gonna be a long and potentially nonsensical ramble cause I'm not doing well rn, I'll put it all under read more. tw for mentions of Haruka's attempt
Ok, so, first of. Starting of with the "Oh, but she tried to help him!! She brought him food! There's just no way she could have known!!!!"
Yeah, nah, I call that bullshit. If you have functional eyes, capable of sight, you can see a person who starves themselves get thinner. That alone should have told her that he's not eating properly as she supposedly tried to get him to (by... saying it once.) Even if someone who's fat started to starve themselves, which would be less obvious when looking at the body (in fact, you can bet some people would praise them for being ""healthy"" regarding that), the negative impact on health would still show in the face: the cheeks would get sunken in, the, skin would get dry and lips chapped. And, since Haruka is not fat, but tall and lanky as it is, these changes would be especially noticeable on him, along with noticeable body changes. You're telling me that someone like Muu, who's focused on her external beauty (reminder, she wants to be a model) and who literally has Haruka keep his eyes on her, would somehow miss all those signs? Not to mention, she also has a sense of smell, doesn't she? She would have noticed the smell of rotting food that Haruka would hide.
So, she knew very well, and, even if you try to defend her how she somehow didn't think he'd actually kill himself, no, that was very obvious sign that he was actually gonna kill himself. And yet, she didn't do anything. At very least she could have told someone, to ask for help, if she herself struggled with how to help him. But it's clear she did not want to help him.
However, here's a bit more that should be thought about. Muu sees friendships as transactional. She thought Haruka how to write, something he struggled with before, helped him with his style, since he literally arrived in pyjamas, and taught him how to at very least act confident until he internalizes the confidence.
In return, Haruka would provide protection. He'll make sure she stays Innocent so that the harm doesn't come her way like it possibly could happen if she gets voted Guilty. He is also a source of attention for Muu. It's been made clear over and over again that attention and praise is something she looks for and needs. Most prisoners get annoyed with that (Yuno and Fuuta come to mind).
But who doesn't get annoyed? Who else is so starved for attention due to years of being neglected, that simply spending time with them will paint her as an angel directly sent from heavens? Haruka. All she needs to do is to give him a drop of attention to be showered in attention back.
This need for attention and need for protection is not inherently a bad thing. Rich families usually don't do any caring for their children, they have money so they just hire a nanny to take care of them, resulting in lack of attention that's necessary while growing up. On top of that, as I've talked about in my previous Muu post, her school environment was such where she had to stay at the top (at what point she'd be praised), only to be dragged down if she made even the smallest slip-up, and then she'd have to act pitiful to gain attention and climb up to the top. This is all a survival tactic to avoid being bullied, to avoid being hurt. It also leads to a feedback loop of attention and praise = safety. The assumption that Haruka's attempt would sway the audience into voting her Innocent was just added means of securing her safety. And of course she'd support that then. There's no way she could have known that the audience would hit her and Haruka with a Guilty, but after that happened, why would she suddenly stop supporting Haruka?
And speaking of that
Why would Haruka even consider stopping? He was not only encouraged by Muu, for who's sake he was starving himself for, and by Kotoko, who laughed at him and found it amusing, but he also got encouragement from the audience. Not only did Muu got voted Guilty, after he threatened he'll kill himself if she gets voted Guilty, but he himself got voted Guilty too. Reminder that he, like Yuno, could hear the voices while Innocent. He heard voices that praised him, that said they love him. What do you think he heard afterwards? That they don't believe he'd actually do it, or that he'll be restrained if he gets voted Guilty so there's no need to worry. Though he likely didn't get restrained immediately (after all, Muu too would have been restrained, and her arms would be unusable, yet Shidou saw her, and trusted her that she'd bring food. If she had her arms bound at the time, she wouldn't be able to bring food at all), it's a possibility that he definitely thought about, which led to him picking the one method he could do regardless if he gets restrained or not.
By the time Fuuta finally discovered him, it was pretty much already too late. Haruka has gone far enough, and still stuck to his choice. And besides, only one person vs 2 people, one of which is the very person he cares about the most, along with the entirety of both Muu Guilty voters and his own Guilty voters, will not convince him to stop.
TL;DR:
She's literally Just a Girl that has a need for attention, and who's life experiences have shaped her to believe everything in this life is transactional and that other people's lives don't matter if it secures her own safety.
Final thought to end it on: Her actions are horrible and you cannot defend those. She knew and could see very well what was happening. Regardless, I also don't think she herself is inherently a bad person.
Personally, I'd vote her Innocent.
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Do I care that I am currently in an echo chamber of how fun Hazbin is? NO!
I AM A SAD TEENAGE GIRL MY MIND WAS CREATED TO PING PONG AROUND ECHO CHAMBERS
#AAAAAAAAA#hazbin hotel#FULL OF RAGE AND FURY#I am so tired and I have a test tomorrow and I have to wake up at five to go to the gym because we’re trying to be healthy Yall#the thought that the next episodes are coming on Thursday might be the only thing keeping me going#I am pining after my long distance best friend and I’ve moved away from all my friends and family and I think that everyone will forget#about me all the time#LET ME HAVE THIS#also like the boarders between Russia and like the rest of the world could be closed at pretty much any time#and then I would potentially not see my family for years#or my parents at least my sister could probably get through#but def not my closest friends#which is great#and I won’t see said best friend that I’m pining over till the end of march if everything goes right#and I’m in love with her though she’s painfully straight#and I haven’t been hugged in like a month#wow this is a tangent in the tags#sorry for being depressing#hazbin hotel trailer#I want someone to like this for the validation
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Society has fallen down ever since Shio stopped making an appearance in chapters.
#shio yotsurugi#my beloved daddy#tsk tsk tsk wakui#why would you create a perfect masterpiece of a character then toss it aside#idc if he'll show up later i need him to show up dramatically and cause a scene EVERY chapter along with complimentary familial chaos#he better show up next chapter or the next flight will stop at Wakui's house#even if in a flashback or a nightmare sequence or smth#and preferably all oiled up and flexing those arm tattoos#...mind your own business it's for personal reasons#but actually i need to see more and more of him i don't want him to only appear again in the final arc likely four years later#such a great potential of EYVIL rich man who does EEEYVAL deeds with a side if ANGST and DRAMA#OH I LOVE IT#but especially those yummy biceps and that buff physique and the very expensive outfits and how could forget the tentacles astro Mmmmm#purely suckable- fuckable- wreckable- LIKEABLE LIKEABLE I MEAN LIKEABLE-#FUUUUUCK#negai no astro#astro royale#daddy shio
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Ya know, I've been seeing a lot of stuff for the hc of Zim and Dib as found family lately, and something about it was actually bugging me a bit. Like, I really like zade, zadf, and zadr, and I just couldn't understand why I couldn't really get behind zads.
And then I realized it's ENTIRELY because of Professor Membrane.
I do not like the idea of Zim being absorbed into the Membrane family dynamic, because in the show (the IZ source I'm most familiar with) Professor Membrane is a really shitty parent, and there is nothing satisfying to me about Zim just hanging out at that house with Dib and Gaz, adding another sibling to an already fairly miserable household situation. Sure, they can support each other. But what is the point of keeping them stifled in that environment if Membrane is not present and being a parent?
BUT, consider the alternative: Dib and Gaz saying 'fuck this shit I'm out', and spending more time with Zim at his base. Eventually they just go off on space adventures or something because why not? Found family in space! No shitty dad! Maybe if you reeeeally want a parental figure, you could throw in a dash of the dad-nar hc in there for some extra spice. And THEN you could have Zim deal with his feelings about HIS 'parental' figures. If Lard Nar starts being a real dad to this group of ragamuffins, how does that reframe the way Zim feels about the Tallest? How does Dib feel about the fact that an alien could (most likely) be a better dad than his own father? How do the two of them react to getting positive attention they've never received from a parental figure before?
And when I started thinking of it that way, I saw the potential. I still don't think it's my favorite. I think I definitely enjoy more room for flexibility and ambiguity with Zim and Dib, and making them view each other as siblings almost boxes them into that role a bit. But I can see the potential for a really interesting story there!
Provided Membrane is out of the picture.
#i totally get that there are people who are more familiar with etf membrane and more power to 'em!#but that is a TOTALLY different guy. the guy i saw on tv as a kid let his son get put in a mental institution. presumably forever.#he was barely home. he had 'family night' one night out of the whole year.#he barely ever listened to his kids or took their concerns seriously.#i find it more satisfying when dib is able to free himself from the need for his dad's approval#and i think it would be more satisfying to see zim find a parental figure that actually gives him positive attention#i dunno. that's just me!#and honestly you probably could still write an interesting story about zim dib and gaz living in the membrane household#just trying to get through a shitty living situation together#there is potential... but my problem is when the prof is just 'suddenly a good dad!!!'#like. no. you gotta earn your 'good dad' badge and the prof has zero points in his favor.#but again! that's just how i see it and i'm very show-biased.#invader zim#iz analysis#long post
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Guess who's in the direct path of this hurricane~
#I would be less scared if everyone around me wasn't panicking and talking about rooves caving in and flood waters#and if I didn't work at a lowes and have to see everyone else's panic for hours on end#I want to talk to my friends about it but one of them has really severe storm anxiety and honestly I just don't want to ruin their day#florida hurricane#Ian was really bad and I'm scared that this one will be like Ian#We made it out of that one safely but my mom is talking about having my entire family in our house and that alone is stressing me out#like my grandma who just broke her femur#my aunt#my uncle#my 11 year old cousin#and potentially my other aunt and uncle#I have to work today and tomorrow and I really don't know how I'll make it through this one without crying#plus my grandma's cat who one of my aunts is allergic to and will NOT get along with my cat
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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current conclusion from the trucy poll: either my family is just weird or none of you have step-parents i think
#i wasnt expecting miles to win but the fact that its currently losing to A NICKNAME????#this is not a dig at anyone i think basically every option on there is reasonable in one circumstance or another#but personally i think trucy being on a first name basis with edgeworth is a) extremely funny#and also b) a extremely normal relationship to have with your dads long term partner who you dont necessarily see as your own parent#that being said my own personal takes are:#miles if wrightworth were dating for most of the 7yg#uncle miles if edgeworth was mostly known to trucy as a family friend during that time#'dad' or something along those lines is theoretically possible but theres no way trucy goes for it right away#mostly on the basis of i doubt edgeworth would be comfortable with it at first#they could get there but i think it would take like. years.#but also! irl its a weird switch to make + i dont think the meaningfulness of their potential relationship#has to be signified by her CALLING him dad you know? it can be like 'this is my other dad. i call him miles'#which once again: also way funnier#i do really want to know what nickname people think trucy is calling him though
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sometimes I'm like wow there is truly someone for everyone who really wants to fall in love. then other times I think, that sounds like an awful lot of effort though
#becoming the most cringe and fail person in my family as a character arc this year#anyway i have been thinking that as much as i would really like to find someone and feel like. good around them#i've gone 27 years without really feeling like i could be myself around anyone romantically and i should probably#make plans as though this potentially just won't happen#i can see myself being happy alone. i mean i really enjoy my friendships and my hobbies#if i got a cat and a steady job for a while i think i would be content#i don't really like living with strangers so the roommate situation would kind of suck but. maybe when i make enough money#i can just keep being by myself but with a cat#it feels kind of spinster aunt who's secretly gay and that's the main problem#i don't want my family to be able to conveniently ignore my characteristics or think that i'm avoiding a life of sin or anything#i love to live a life of sin i just really enjoy having friends and really don't enjoy dating. unfortunate
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I haven't been reading much the last few days and I don't have any interesting remarks but I just gotta say: Jarith 👍
Jarith 👍
he's one of those characters I never expected to be important or do anything--he was just a kind, a little overzealous family member Kihrin met and left behind when he passed through the Blue Palace
but then BOOM book 4 and suddenly so many characters I'd said goodbye to and hadn't even thought about again are suddenly central.
I wonder if for Jarith specifically the reason he doesn't seem important for so long is because of Xaltorath. Senera (I think? maybe Janel) theorized that the reason he'd been targeted this loop without having done anything was because he'd made himself a significant problem for it in the/a past one. so we're not seeing his full impact because Xaltorath tried to erase it, but he still managed to be a major pain in the ass and important even with its efforts to the contrary.
woo jarith! sorry about your...everything
#a chorus of dragons#quil's queries#nonsie#now that I think about it I think it was senera's footnote on janel's pov#anyway. jarith is full of SO much potential#we don't see him for years and he comes back like#hey guys i got turned into a demon by the queen of demons and married an assassin of death and had a son#like my guy weren't you just losing duels for your family's honor because you thought it would be smart#to challenge THURVISHAR???
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#oohhh girlies in my phone I’m really in it now#I went to talk about this in the tags last night but then I rambled so much I HIT THE TAG LIMIT LOL#but um basically I got re-acquainted with a boy I was friends with when I was nine only to discover that I still have a crush on him???#MAYBE??? I DON’T KNOW????#I genuinely don’t know if I actually do or if I’m just thrilled to find a guy I can talk to like a normal person who doesn’t make me want#to dig a hole in the ground and hide (this is not a dig at the menfolk I’m just nervous around guys my age for some reason)#it’s such a rarity you know???#I just I don’t know aaaaaaaaaahh#I don’t often find people that I’m on the same wavelength with like that. like a kindred spirit thing#and like one thing is he IS a year and a half or so younger than me which is slightly awkward now but won’t be in even just a year or so#my family (in their usual fashion) have tossed him up to me as a potential option multiple times this week and I haven’t been as adverse as#I usually am to their suggestions so like. I think they can TELL haahahahhahahaha#like it doesn’t matter I guess because I’m going on an exchange program and I won’t see him again until next year anyway#but it’s been two days and I can’t stop thinking about it#also the other thing is I don’t have his number but my brother has it and like I’m not going to ask for it because a) my brother would make#fun of me relentlessly and also b) what would I even do with it I’m not that brave#I am perfectly content with just being friends for the moment but I don’t want to let that friendship atrophy in the whole year we don’t#see each other but!!! I’m too awkward!!!#but. anyway. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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my latest hyperfixation: armchair diagnosing my peers. oh, you thought you could just exist around me. sorry. here's a nice seat on this round disk, it's totally not a petri dish or anything. can you hear electricity?
#so did you know that being overly 'mysterious' is a masking tactic. guess what he's like when he doesn't know you that well/distancing#and guess what he's like when you get to know him in a closer setting? a quirky weirdo#so i liked the same guy for years and never knew why#it was TOO EASY to adopt his mannerisms and sense of humour#because i thought being a bit weird GOT him friends#post rejection but before my dx he would continue to baffle and frustrate me. and then i realised that we BOTH committed the same faux pas#autism/adhd would explain literally everything i've ever seen him do and why we continue to be so similar#adhd#asd#actually autistic#audhd#i often wonder if it's not just his rejection of me that makes him avoid me. but the unconscious sense that i'm too observant#i mean look at the tags of this post. i can't stop editing them. im obsessed#not so much with a crush as with an endless book of wonders#the same way he could be completely absorbed in one in the middle of a crowded social gathering...#he literally said he 'spirals' at night#hon...#i genuinely have no idea if he knows. if anyone else knows#if you know someone so long you're like 'no that's just how he is' but what if how they were was always like this.#i would say he's hardly the same person he was 8 years ago. he's even weirder. but i theorise it could be either one of two things#1. the mask is coming off from: a) burnout b) now in a situation where he subconsciously knows he doesn't have to mask or#c).... potential dx??? but no surely not. that would be too funny if we got dx at the same time#even his leadership style. he often favoured spontaneity. often let discussion get off topic. but he could accurately pick up the point you#were trying to say#he often stares at things as if he's not seeing them#so you wonder if he's eavesdropping when it could really be either that or being lost in thought#and then the kinds of questions and comments he would come out with. you wondered how THAT got through the filter#not to mention i get the sense that his parents recognise that *i'm* weird as well#and you know what the kicker is. HIS NIECE LINES UP TOY TRAINS AT AGE 2/3#SOMETHING RUNS THROUGH THAT FAMILY
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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.
But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.
Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.
For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.
But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.
Happy.
It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.
Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.
It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.
A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.
5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.
It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.
Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.
I’m a Rescue.
She gave me a Home.
And, so, I gave her a Family.
It seemed fair
This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.
don’t give up yet, ok?
It could get good, even.
#troglodyte thoughts#tales from Real Life#cw addiction#cw alcohol#sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train#run#fight#hide#SURVIVE#do not go into the light#there are unpet dogs#and unhugged children#and unseen sunsets#and maybe even love#even for a wretch like me#the best part of your life might be old age#you don’t know
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"First, I would like to thank everyone who supported me.🙏🌹
This is my new platform, friends, after my old platform was deleted for reasons unknown to me.
I ask for your help in sharing my story again to keep hope alive for me and my family, friends.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.♥️
My family and I appreciate your cooperation and hope to reach the desired goal and save us.🙏
Attached are the verification links for the old account from the supporters.
Link vetted by @ibtisams
Link vetted by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi
Link vetted by @sar-soor
My approved number by the families in need and endorsed by the supervisors is 196."
@90-ghost @ibtisams @nabulsi @aces-and-angels @sar-soor @sayruq @fairuzfan @palestinegenocide @vakarians-babe @northgazaupdates @northgazaupdates2
Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals for Help to Survive 🕊️🇵🇸🙏
I Samer Abu Ras, am reaching out to you with a heartfelt humanitarian appeal, after the ongoing war in Gaza has cast its dark shadow over my life and the lives of my family. Our lives were once filled with peace and stability before the onset of this catastrophe, but now, we find ourselves living in a situation described as nothing short of tragic.
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My wife, Shurooq, our three children, and I are now homeless, without a source of income, and without hope for the future. My family and I have lost our businesses and our home due to the war, and we now have nothing left but the cold streets and troubled hearts.
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My children are suffering greatly as a result of these horrific events. They have lost the security and stability they once enjoyed and are now facing new health and psychological challenges that threaten their lives. As a father and husband, I feel powerless in my ability to provide adequate protection and care for them.
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My child, who is a year and a half old, is experiencing hardships far beyond his tender age. Since the war broke out, we had to flee our home and seek refuge in a tent in a displacement camp. My child lives in extremely difficult conditions, deprived of safety and stability. The tent does not provide adequate protection from harsh weather, and food and medicine are scarce. My child suffers from malnutrition and illness, lacking basic healthcare. He cannot play or grow in a healthy and suitable environment. My only dream is to see him grow up in a safe place full of opportunities
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In the face of difficult circumstances, Samer Abu Ras and his family find themselves facing serious challenges in their daily lives. They reside in a modest tent lacking comfort and security, suffering from a shortage of clean water and food, and encountering difficulties in accessing necessary healthcare. Despite these challenges, they continue to express hope and resilience in confronting adversity, holding onto hope for a better tomorrow and a return to a more stable and secure life.
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I appeal to you today, dear friends, to extend to me a helping hand in escaping this hell. Regardless of the size of the donation, every drop of generosity will contribute to alleviating our suffering and rebuilding our lives anew.
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We need your help to secure the funds necessary to travel away from these destructive wars and seek a safe and stable environment where we can build a better future for our children
Let us stand together in these difficult times and let hope triumph over despair by providing support and assistance to those in dire need. Let us be part of the solution and build a better future for ourselves and future generations.
Thank you for listening and for the potential generosity of your giving, and for your generous donations that will change the lives of my family for the better.
With sincere gratitude and appreciation
Samer Abu Ras and family.
@heba-20 @soon-palestine @marnota @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @i-am-aprl @nabulsi @sayruq @communistchilchuck @palipunk @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc @faggotfungus @ghost-and-a-half @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @three-croissants @interfacefox @appsa @akajustmerry @feluka @flower-tea-fairies @90-ghost @victoriawhimsey @ficsforgaza @aria-ashryver @mangocheesecakes @humanvoicebox @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @commissions4aid-international @palestinegenocide @ghost-and-a-half @bibyebae @heritageposts @norrriey 🍉🌹🍉✍️
🌹🍉🇵🇸❤️🌹🍉🇵🇸❤️🌹🍉
#free palestine#every dollar helps!#donations#donate if you can#please donate#go fund me#go fund them#gaza fundraiser#help plz#plz reblog#plz plz plz#help me plz#stop the genocide#gofundme#go fund him#gofundus#donate#emergency#please help#send help#plzzzz#don’t scroll#gaza genocide#free gaza#pls help#gaza fights for freedom#gazaunderattack#palestine gfm#samerpal#remember 1 usd =10 sek
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From Gaza to Ireland: Out of the Fire of War to the Fire of Soul-Crushing Survival Guilt and Fear for my Family
Note: My main account (@mahmoudkhalafff) was unfortunately terminated by Tumblr for no reason. This is my back up account. Please continue to boost my campaign. We are too close!
At times of peace, having to be away from your family for months and years is a high price you pay for obtaining an academic degree or securing a better job. Imagine while you are away, they were trapped in a besieged strip of land and thousands of missiles rained down on that besieged area of 360 km² around the clock for almost 11 months. That would crush every cell of your mind and drive you crazy, wouldn't it?!
Imagine suddenly getting addicted to watching the news and the gory videos and pictures all the freaking time. You follow relevant social media pages that only show images, videos, and stories of entire families that were wiped out in an instant in an airstrike and deemed as collateral insignificant damage. While plunging deeper and deeper into an unprecedented state of acute depression, I wondered: how come all my suffering from displacement, fear, and hunger in Gaza for 5 months during the war before being evacuated to Ireland is nothing but a drop compared to my ocean of suffering now?
The constant thinking of my family in Gaza during the genocide and all the potential scenarios is consuming my sanity and mental health at a time in my life and a place where I am required to be 199% focused and productive. To give you a glimpse of my horrible psychological suffering these days: I fear going to sleep because I know horrible horrible nightmares are waiting for me on the other side. Some have to do with the horrors of wars I witnessed in Gaza myself and others relate to the horrible potential scenarios I keep thinking about.
Seeing the images and pictures of Gaza makes you think a thousand earthquakes hit every neighborhood of the Gaza Strip! Nothing and no one has been spared. The horrific war has turned the place into a hell on earth, unfortunately. How can young people have any hope for a better future seeing the mass destruction and the relentless Israeli efforts to stifle Gaza and squeeze hope out of its people as a form of collective punishment. How monstrous and heartless!!!
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Amid all this chaos and madness, my number one priority and focus is evacuating my family to Egypt as a first step and hopefully reuniting with them in Ireland at a later stage.
Please do consider helping me save my family by donating, reblogging, and sharing.
Note: Vetted by:
1. @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi # 151 on the spreadsheet of Vetted Gaza Fundraisers List]
2. @riding-with-the-wild-hunt Here .
Tagging for reach <3
@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @ibtisams @vakarians-babe @90-ghost @sayruq @fairuzfan @sar-soor @fallahifag
@el-shab-hussein @taamarrud @humanvoicebox
@plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @commissions4aid-international @nabulsi @stil-lindigo @soon-palestine @communistchilchuck @palestinegenocide @northgazaupdates2 @northgazaupdates @ghost-and-a-half @kyra45-helping-others @kyra45 @commissions4aid-international @feluka @appsa
#vetted#verified#free gaza#free palestine#gaza#gaza genocide#gaza strip#signal boost#mutual aid#palestine aid#save palestine#palestinian genocide#i stand with palestine#all eyes on palestine#palestine news#help gaza#gazaunderattack
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Shameless
Tags: dad!Toji x fem!reader, modern!au, nsfw, mdni, breeding kink, he calls himself daddy
Synopsis: You’re Toji’s live-in nanny. He wants to breed you, and he successfully does so.
An: This is my story on ao3!! You can read it here. If you’re feeling extra nice, a kudos would be cool too.
Being a single dad was hard. Toji learned quickly after his wife's death that he in fact couldn't do this alone. The way little Megumi's big eyes looked up to him for direction... him of all people. He was not cut out for this. Megumi's mom was a wonderful mother: sweet, nurturing, and patient. Toji really didn't know if he was any of those things.
Luckily, her life insurance provided Toji with a relatively comfortable life combined with his job in construction of course. Construction might be his vice. He got away from home for 12 hours a day, and he worked so hard that his brain was mush by the time he was home. Not that he didn't love his son, he did, but every time he looked at Megumi he saw his sweet late wife. He also saw his short comings as a father.
Babysitters quit on him regularly. It was always the same excuse. "Megumi's an angel, but I can't be here 7 days a week. I have a life too." It was incredibly annoying. They'd stay for Megumi but left due to another one of his shortcomings.
Another one quit. That would be the third one this month. "Listen Mr. Fushiguro, I know a friend. She does this sort of thing on a different level. Have you ever considered having a live-in nanny?"
That stupid girl's question enlightened Toji. He had completely forgotten that live-in nannies still existed. After getting her friend's number and paying her what he owed her for her time, Toji relaxed on the couch with little Megumi tucked into his side. The three-year-old was happily babbling next to him, enamored by Toji's phone that was in his hand.
Toji looked at the number dialed into his phone, and he sighed. He was tired of making cold calls to potential babysitters like he was some desperate whore, but maybe, maybe this would be different. He wouldn't mind having a live-in nanny. His house wouldn't mind it either. Toji would be able to finally breathe. No more coming home from 12 hour shifts to pop something to eat in the microwave and wash the dishes. He wouldn't even have to see this so-called nanny often. He could pick up more hours at work with all of his new freedom of not having to worry about pissing off the babysitter.
*** *** ***
Either way, that's how you ended up in Toji's house. For the past three months you had taken care of Megumi, cleaned and deep cleaned his entire house, cooked him plenty of dinners from scratch, and even did his laundry the exact way he preferred. His house has never looked better, and Megumi had never looked so happy.
Despite being here for three months, you barely saw Toji. He seemed to avoid you like the plague and only answer with one-worded answers, which was fine. This was your job, not your actual family. There was no need for extensive communications. Though, you had gushed to your friend plenty over text about how hot "Mr. Fushiguro" was. He was conventionally attractive, yes. But you also always had a thing for the brooding types, and dammit, Toji was brooding. There was also something to be said about how he came home in the evenings. A black wifebeater clinging to his skin from a long day of working out in the sun. His jeans would be dirty from the work he was doing. His skin glistening from a thin sheen of sweat. His hair was always a mess. Goddammit. It was enough to make you feel fertile.
It was early in the morning, Toji was getting ready to go to work. Megumi had woken up, crying for his papa not to leave him. He's going through an extra clingy phase. He's usually okay once Toji's gone.
"Papa!" Megumi cried as Toji entered the living room. You had Megumi in your lap, rocking him with a sleepy look on your face. His tears were wetting your shirt, but you didn't seem to mind.
"He'll be back tonight, Gumi." You shooshed him and continued to try to rock him and pat his back.
Toji's face was unreadable. He was never one to get all upset over Megumi's crying, but hearing his son cry out for him tugged on his heartstrings extra this morning. Then, there was you. You were a godsend to Toji's life. Getting a live-in nanny was one of the best decisions he had ever made. Above that, you were excellent with Megumi. You were sweet... nurturing... patient. He hated how seeing you with his son made him feel. It almost felt like maybe 2 kids wouldn't be that big of a deal. Maybe 3. One on each of your legs and another one swelling in your belly. God. He was disgusted in himself for thinking like that.
"I love you, kiddo." Toji said quickly as he leaned down, giving Megumi's forehead a quick peck. The toddler made grabby hands for him. It was almost enough to make him stay home. Almost. Toji's eyes met yours as he was still leaned over. His face was close to yours. The tension between them were palpable. The moment felt like eternity between them.
Then, a black credit card was in view. "I need new work gloves. Get the extra thick rubber ones, will ya? Also, get whatever you and the kid want. I'll be back late tonight." He handed you the card and sauntered out of the house despite Megumi's pleas for him to stay. You looked at the Amex black card and blinked a couple of times. Only the top earners in the world had cards like this. Toji was just an average blue collar dad... It made you wonder how he got a card like this.
You still spent that shit though.
*** *** ***
Toji looked at his phone on the jobsite. No one dared to tell him to put it away. Toji was the best most competent worker out on the field. He could work circles around supervisors and project managers alike, and he was damn smart. He didn't need a pencil and paper or a calculator to make quick conversions in his head. So, most people stayed out of his way.
He smirked and chuckled at the notifications rolling in from his bank. 78.97 at Target. 21.25 at McDonald's. 43.52 at Barnes and Noble. 9.24 at Starbucks. He was happy you and Megumi were getting to have a little shopping spree.
You were also great at keeping him updated. You sent him lots of pictures and videos of Megumi. He cherished each one of them, immediately getting some of them printed and hung up in his house. There was even a picture of you and Megumi proudly displayed in the living room. In his mind, you were an integral part of the family. The "family" simply would not function if it weren't for you.
A fond smile spread across his face as he opened his messages. A picture of Megumi's little hands trying to fit into his new gloves that she had bought him. Great. She got the right ones. "I think he wants to be just like daddy :)", the message read.
Oh.
Oh.
The twitch that just occurred in his pants should be punishable in a court of law. In no way should he have gotten turned on by that. You were just being nice. It was a normal thing for people to refer to him as "daddy" in that context. It never affected him in the way it was right now.
So anyways, that's how he ended up in the port-a-potty busting a load all over a picture of you that he had on his phone. After the shock of his orgasm that came quicker than ever, he looked down, disappointed in himself. He wasn't some horny teenage boy anymore. This was just downright deplorable. Begrudgingly, he wiped his phone clean from his sins. Post-nut clarity swirled his brain. He couldn't believe he just did that.
He called your number. He had to make things right.
"Hello? Is everything okay?" You immediately asked. After living with Toji for some time now, you learned that he doesn't just call people. He will absolutely decline a call to just text and ask what's up.
"Everything is fine." He replied, trying to hide his amusement. It was cute that you seemed so worried for him. "Are you still in town?"
"Yeah, Megumi and I are about to leave Starbucks and head home. Why? What's up?" You responded back to him. He could hear Megumi happily singing a song in the background.
"You know you spent 152 dollars today?" Toji asked as he popped his back up against the port-a-potty door. He had a lazy smirk on his face.
"Oh- crap. I'm sorry. You can take whatever you see fit out of my pay-" He interrupted your nonsense quickly.
"Do you think I'm poor?" His voice was amused, not angry like you expected it to be.
"What-? No.. no, sir. I was just-"
"I told you to get whatever you and the kid want. Don't come back home until your certain that you can't carry the amount of stuff you bought in one trip." He said quickly. His stomach was already coiling from how you called him sir. He grimaced as he felt another twitch. I just took care of you dammit.
"Oh... oh, okay? Are you su-" Click. He hung up on you. One too many dumb questions. You looked at Megumi as he strapped into the backseat of your car. He looked intrigued by the conversation even though you knew he realistically had no idea what was just said. "Daddy said we have to go to the toy store." You grinned at him. He was smiling and clapping over the word "toy".
234.22 at Toys-R-Us. 122.56 at Lego. 208.38 at Aerie. 88.21 at Ulta Beauty. Another 94.48 at Barnes and Noble.
The way Toji grinned each time he felt that familiar vibration of his phone go off, meaning another notification from his bank was off-putting. Workers on the jobsite never seen him so happy. It was his penance for being such a horny freaky fuck.
*** *** ***
It was later that same evening. Megumi was in the living room surrounded by toys and crafting materials. He was currently drawing all sorts of "shadow animals" as he called them. You would of course look and nod your head, congratulating him on each terribly drawn animal. You acted like that was the best damn wolf-bear-owl hybrid you ever saw.
You were in the kitchen cooking chicken and dumplings. The clock on the stove read seven p.m. You didn't expect to see Toji at all this evening. He said he was working late this morning. Usually, that meant he was dragging his feet in through the door until well past ten p.m.
Still, you made him a serving of chicken and dumpling soup. You always did. Even when he worked late, you would put him a helping of dinner in the microwave to keep warm. You never knew, but he was always delighted by that. He ate the dinners each time.
A key jingling in the door handle caught your attention while you were getting Megumi settled at the dining room table. Three-year-olds were so hard to manage: too small to eat by themselves but too big to be locked in a high chair.
Toji stepped into the living room with a small grunt. He smirked as he looked around at his destroyed living room. Toys, crayons, and pieces of "artwork" were strewn all about the place. He glanced up towards you and Megumi in the kitchen. He took note of how your face was flushed and surprised.
"Papa!" Megumi happily shouted before the little bastard ran from your grasp to go hug on Toji's legs. His dad smiled as he looked down at Megumi, and he used his hand to mess up Megumi's hair affectionately.
"Go eat your food, kiddo." Toji said warmly to his son. Megumi happily obliged and ran right back to his seat right next to you, and you fed him a spoonful of the soup.
"You're home early." You stated the obvious.
Toji would never tell you, but he left early because he missed you two.
"Don't sound too happy to see me." He remarked in a sarcastic tone.
"What-? No, I just.. would've cleaned up more had I known you would be home so soon..." You responded. Megumi was sitting beside you whining for another bite of food. You snapped out of your surprise, and you fed him another bite of chicken and dumplings.
"Why? I don't give a damn what this place looks like." Toji said with a small nonchalant shrug. He walked through the living room, carefully stepping over the toys. Before you had become his nanny, this was how his house normally looked: messy, lived in. "I've got a bowl of dinner in the microwave. My kid's happy and fed. I couldn't care less what that living room looks like."
Your heart fluttered at the sentiment. Toji was easy to please. He really just wanted what was best for his kid, and that was you. "I like making sure you have nothing to worry about." You replied. He looked at you with an unreadable expression. It looked like he might've wanted to say something, but he had backed out last minute. He hummed and walked towards his bedroom to shower the dirt, sweat, and grime from the day.
While Toji showered, you had finished feeding Megumi and yourself. You allowed Megumi to have about an hour of TV time before bed. He really enjoyed old X-Men cartoons. You turned them on for him and parked him on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket.
You hummed softly as you worked in the kitchen. You packed meal prep containers of soup for Toji to take for lunch for the next couple of days. Then, you were washing dishes in front of the sink.
*** *** ***
"I like making sure you have nothing to worry about." Your words repeated in Toji's head over and over like a mantra. He hadn't felt so... cared for in a long, long time. It made his heart feel full, which was an unfamiliar feeling for him. A less unfamiliar feeling was his dick standing fully erect and at attention. He groaned quietly as he leaned his head back in the shower.
Something had to be in the air recently. He was a grown man with desires, sure. But this was a new record for him. Ever since you started being a live-in nanny for him, the boners were a daily thing. Hell, twice or three times a day sometimes. He's tried everything... Well, okay, maybe not everything, but he's tried cold showers and staying away from you. Neither of those things work to soothe him.
His hand was gliding up and down his length for the second time today. He was facing the shower wall with his arm propped up on it, supporting his head. Damn you for making him feel like a slave to his desires. You wanted to make sure he had nothing to worry about? Then, you should be the one in here fixing this damn mess, not him. He pitifully rutted into his hand, imaging he's plunging deep into you. Imagining the multiple ways he'd fuck the hell out of you is the only thing that soothes the ache, but this time he didn't see an end in sight.
He gritted his teeth together, and he balled up his fist, rearing back before stopping himself. He's not a teenager anymore. He can't punch walls. He took a deep breath and turned the shower off. No, this won't do. He needs to fix this at the source.
After quickly drying off and getting dressed, he walked back into the kitchen. His eyes scanned over the house. Megumi was enthralled by the TV, and you were washing dishes. Perfect.
He slowly approached you from behind. He could tell you didn't hear him as you were still softly humming. Usually, you would stop humming if he entered the kitchen. He never understood why. The sounds of your melancholic hums were beautiful and soothing to him.
He was directly behind you, and his hands gently cupped your hips. You immediately flinched and made a soft scream that was quickly silenced by one of his hands. "Shh, we don't want to disturb the little brat, do we?" Toji said into your ear. His warm breath ghosted over the shell of your ear, making you shiver.
Toji's eyes flicked over towards the living room. Megumi hadn't moved an inch. Perfect.
Toji slowly released your mouth. To his delight, you didn't make a sound. He could hear how your breath was slightly labored from him scaring you. A small chuckle rose from his throat. His hands went back to your hips, and he pressed himself against your voluptuous ass. A hum of approval escaped him. He could see your hands gripping the countertops.
"Nod your head. You like this? Want me to keep pressing myself against you?" Toji whispered into your ear. You took your bottom lip between your teeth, and you nodded your head eagerly, giving him consent.
"Dirty fucking girl." His voice was like a growl in your ear as he started to move his hips, dragging his length up and down along you. You could feel each inch of his length beckoning for you. "I knew you'd take whatever I gave you, but this? Letting me grind against you like a pathetic teenager while my son is in the living room? You're such a fucking slut." His hands were digging into your hips as he continued his controlled motions.
"Mnn.. fuck.." You softly whimpered out. Thank god the X-Men were currently in a loud fight scene.
You slightly frowned as you suddenly didn't feel Toji behind you anymore. You were about to turn around and ask what he was doing, but his fingers curling into the waistband of your leggings told you everything you needed to know. "Toji-" You managed to whisper out. No way could you two do this while Megumi was in the next room over.
"Shut up." Toji interrupted you. He had taken his throbbing length out of his sleeping pants, and he had a look of concentration on his face as he angled himself right at your entrance. "You have no fucking idea how long I've needed this. So just be a good girl, shut up, and take what I give you."
Direct orders from your boss. Who were you to deny the man who just spoiled you all day today?
It was a tight fit. Toji wasn't a gentleman. He didn't prep you with his fingers or mouth. This wasn't love making. It was hardly fucking. This was fulfilling a need.
"God... fuck. I didn't expect you to be that tight." He growled into your neck as he held your hips still against him. It felt like he was splitting you apart. You couldn't even respond to him.
He noticed how tightly you were gripping the counter and how you weren't responding to him. Your knuckles were turning white. He almost felt guilty. His hand came around the front of you, and he gently rubbed the swollen bundle of nerves. "Shhh... You can take it. I know you can." He whispered into your ear as it was taking every last shred of self-restraint not to fuck you into oblivion right on this counter. He slowly pulled back until just his tip was inside, and he pushed all the way back in. "That's it. There's my good girl." He praised in your ear. It was not lost on him that he felt you get wetter with each praise.
He hesitated, but he said it anyway, "You wanna be a good girl for daddy, don't you?" He whispered into your ear. That phrase made you tremble in his arms and nod your head. He slowly pulled back out and pushed right back in, taking you slowly. "That's right... hngh, fuck." He moaned into your ear. "You want to be fucked by daddy. You want to take his cock like a good girl. Take it." His hips started to move with more conviction.
You were already so out of it. This was like a dirty fantasy come true. You couldn't help but check the TV a few times to make sure X-Men was still playing. You were still worried that Megumi might run in here for whatever reason and see you bent over in front of his dad. You knew it was unlikely. Megumi could watch that TV like a zombie all day if you let him. Besides, you would be able to hear the small pitter-patter of his footsteps.
"Stop looking at the fucking TV. Trust me." Toji growled into your ear as he forced your hips down onto him roughly. A noiseless gasp escaped you. He wasn't small, and he knew that. He was using it to his advantage.
"Fuck." He groaned quietly as he rubbed you with a bit more fervor. You could already feel that familiar warm feeling coiling in your stomach. "I'm going to fuck a baby into you. You were fucking made for this. Made for raising my kids and taking my fucking load." He was spewing nonsense into your ear, but in the moment, you couldn't help but nod and moan. "You were made for me." He proclaimed as his hips continued harshly snapping into your backside. Somehow the sounds were masked.
"You want that, don't you?" He asked as he bit down on your neck then lapped at the bite mark with his tongue.
"Yes, daddy!" You quietly exclaimed. His thrusts only increased in power. Your eyes started to cross, getting lost in pleasure.
"Fuck. You're gonna look so perfect pregnant with my baby. I won't let you have a break. As soon as one comes out; I'm puttin' another one in you." He continued on yapping about how many kids he was going to pump into you. "I'll breed you again and again." His thrusts were heavy and brutal. You couldn't take it anymore.
He moaned as he felt you clenching around him, finishing all over his cock. It was enough to drive him overboard. He pumped you full of cum until you were sure some of it was seeping out.
There was a peaceful moment of dizzy highness for you two. Toji panted against your back. For the first time in while, he's felt satisfied. A soft amused laugh escaped him as he heard the iconic X-Men episode coming to an end. He swiftly pulled out of you, and he tried to ignore that little whimper of protest you let out. He tucked himself back into his pants, and he pulled your leggings and panties back up for you since you were still a trembling mess over the counter.
"Alright Kiddo, c'mon. Time for bed." Toji said as he sauntered off into the living room as if he didn't just rearrange your guts. He put Megumi to bed that night, and he cleaned up the living room for you, allowing for you to recover in his bed for round two. He was much more of a gentleman for round two.
*** *** ***
"Hey... I know I ain't been to see you in a while. I'm sorry." Toji said as he sat down on the grassy ground. "I was letting life pass me by for too damn long." He said as he took a wet washcloth and began to wash up his late wife's gravestone. "I'm doing better now, so don't worry about me."
"Megumi's growing like a weed. I'm sorry I didn't bring him to see you... I just don't know how to explain it to him." Toji's voice was full of guilt as he dragged the wet washcloth against the stone. "He's a good kid though. He looks just like you, damn bastard." He softly laughed, knowing his wife would've struck him over the side of the head for calling Megumi a damn bastard.
"Listen... I met a girl." He leaned his head over the gravestone. It had been close to three months since you and Toji started sleeping together. There wasn't a formal label to your relationship, but it didn't feel necessary. You two both knew you were sleeping exclusively with each other. "I think you'd like her, or maybe you wouldn't since she's fucking your husband. But either way... I-" He choked up a bit as he held onto the cold stone. "I feel so fucking guilty... I know you're not coming home anytime soon, but I just... I need your blessing. If you can somehow hear me, please... I never asked you for anything until I asked you to marry me. Now, I'm asking... please somehow show me you approve of this."
"She's good for me... She takes good care of Megumi. He's so damn attached to her somedays." Toji softly laughed as he remembered how a few nights ago Megumi crawled into bed with you and him because he had a nightmare. Instead of taking to Toji like he normally does, he crawled into your arms. Toji had never felt so damn proud and slighted at the same time.
"I should get going. Give me a sign though.. Something that tells me you approve." He finished his visit with his wife, and he went home.
*** *** ***
That night at dinner, Megumi sped into the kitchen with an action figure in his hand. He was pretending to be Batman. "Gumi, I've told you three times. Stop running." You said as you gave the small child a look. Toji smirked as he knew that look good and well. It was the look a mom gave as a warning. Megumi was on his last warning.
"I'm sorry, mama." Megumi apologized, causing for both you and Toji to freeze right in your tracks. Megumi had never called you mama before. He always said your name.
Your heart swelled in your chest. It was a feeling of affection and guilt. "Oh no... baby.." You said softly as you took his hand. You lead him into the living room, and you crouched down, showing him a picture of his mom to him. "That's mama." You gently corrected him.
Toji watched the scene like a hawk from the dinner table. His heart was pounding in his chest. He had never been shy about telling Megumi who his mom was, but he hadn't exactly been forthcoming about how his mom passed away when he was a small baby.
Megumi pointed at the picture. "Mama." He said quietly. You nodded and patted his head.
"That's right." You praised affectionately. He then turned his attention to you. and he poked your chest with his tiny finger.
"Mama." He said, pointing at you.
"No-"
"It's alright." Toji spoke up from his seat at the dinner table.
"I don't want him to be confused..." You replied as you slowly stood back up, looking at Toji.
"He doesn't sound confused to me." He retorted with a small grin. You turned your attention back to Megumi, and Toji looked up towards the ceiling. "Thank you." He muttered so quietly before kissing the necklace that hung around his neck. He had his wife's blessing. This proved it.
After finishing his dinner, Toji joined you two in the living room. You and Megumi were curled up on each side of his while watching that old X-Men cartoon. Suddenly, Megumi rose from the couch. You and Toji watched him with a hint of confusion.
"What is he doing?" You softly asked Toji as Megumi bent over, and he looked between his legs at both you and Toji.
"I have no fucking id-" He was about to respond, but then, it hit him. "Get up." He said as he stood up from the couch. He quickly grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet like a madman.
"What? What? Is something wrong?" You asked as you had never seen Toji move this fast. You quickly got up too.
"Nothing's wrong. Come on. We're going to the store." He grunted as he swooped Megumi into his arms.
You were confused and in denial when Toji bought a pregnancy test and made you take it. Now, both of you were waiting outside of the bathroom for the five minutes to be over. "This is crazy, Toji. I'm not pregnant."
"It's an old wives' tale. When babies do that, it's supposed to mean their looking for their sibling." Toji said with a nonchalant shrug as if what he said was matter-of-fact. "My mother told me that's how she knew she was pregnant with me."
The timer went off on his phone, and both of you fought to get into the bathroom first. He eventually overpowered you and snatched the pregnancy test off the counter quickly. "Oh." He said quietly. The room went still.
Suddenly, your heart was racing. "What is it? Is it negative?" You asked a hint of disappointment hit you. You didn't know why, but a small part of you hoped for it to be positive.
"Oh, you're fucking getting it tonight." Toji smirked as he turned the pregnancy test over. Two pink lines were clear as day on the test. You're pregnant.
Tags: @lemonlimecrystal-blog @theuniversesnepobaby
#jjk#jjk fanfic#fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#drabble#jjk suggestive#jjk smut#toji x you#toji smut#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader
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