#and then I watch as their liking for me diminishes

[riddlemearose]

I remember watching season 1 with some friends and commenting that I liked that Viktor's main motivation at its core wasn't 'I'm gonna heal myself', but 'I want to help other people in any way I can' and they replied with "just keep watching, are you sure about that?"

And you know what? Yeah. I am. My stance has not changed.

It's rare to see a disabled character who is defined by his disability but exists outside of it in his goals, motivation and life. Someone who is not diminished by characters around him for his disability, but instead it's seen as part of him.

I have a physical disability that's currently moderately annoying but has the potential to progress up to debilitating in the future. I also have two cognitive disabilities that severely hinder my capacity to work and do things in every day life because of how much they tax my brain.

Jayce's words were not ableist. Not to me. They were spoken by an able-bodied man whose only experience with disability is by proxy which makes them awkwardly chosen, but not any less true.

Jayce admires Viktor's ambition and drive for progress for the good of everyday people. He sees Viktor's dream to cure himself and prevent others from developing the same preventable disease, and more than admires it.

And Viktor is the one who started it all, because he heard Jayce's dream to help people through Hextech and not only agreed with Jayce, but became at times the predominant driving force behind Hextech development.

Viktor does not see his worth. He is the one who's internalised every single thing he hates about himself, to the point where he would shed every emotion and rip out his humanity to get away from his failing body instead of reaching out.

He is a lesson in internalising ableism, understanding how doing so causes it to fester and rot inside of you.

Because Jayce never saw Viktor as lesser because of his disease and disabilities.

Only Viktor did.

The monologue is not perfect, but there will never be a monologue that attempts to address this topic that is perfect.

And to me, hearing someone tell Viktor that he is more than the disability he sees, that he should never be ashamed of his drive to change the world because of it, well...

It means a lot more than I am currently able to express. It's something, as a disabled person, you don't hear often said genuinely and not as inspiration porn.

okay. let’s talk about jayce’s monologue, since people are calling him ableist.

for context, not that it matters: I have a significant mobility disability and a progressive chronic illness which, even when managed, can kill me. I’m not in exactly the same boat as viktor since my disease isn’t terminal, but I’ve had very similar experiences to him. this shapes my perception of him and of this storyline.

this is the monologue:

You’ve always wanted to cure what you thought were weaknesses. Your leg. Your disease. But you were never broken, Viktor. There’s beauty in imperfections. They made you what you are. An inseparable piece of everything I admired about you.

first, it should be noted that “what you thought were weaknesses” is not the same thing as “things that are good.” jayce is not saying that viktor’s disease is or was a good thing. what he is saying is that he admired (loved) everything that viktor was, which included the things viktor thought made him a burden or a problem. remember also that jayce almost doomed the world because he couldn’t let viktor die; he would never imply that viktor dying was a good thing.

the next question, then, is whether viktor sees himself as a burden or not. I think it’s implied that he does — it’s certainly not unrealistic to think that viktor might have come to view himself, or at least his disease, as a burden and a flaw. disabled people often view ourselves that way either because of internalized ableism or because society constantly tells us that we’re burdens and that our bodies are abnormal and wrong. viktor displays behaviors that indicate internalized ableism, including hiding the fact that he’s coughing up blood from jayce the first few times it happens and generally refusing to be in the public eye in a way that is self-effacing and not just him being private. yes, he says in act 1 of season 1 that he believes in himself, but he does also call himself a cripple in a dismissive way in that same scene; also, he doesn’t have the disease at that point. arguably the entire scene where he runs despite clearly being in pain is an example of his internalized ableism, but that’s another post.

more evidence for viktor’s perception of himself being negative is that he clearly has a sense that he doesn’t deserve to be loved (specifically by jayce, but maybe also in general). we see this when he asks jayce why he’s still persisting in saving him. we see this with his generally self-effacing behavior. we see this with the fact that in all of season 1, the only person he allows to touch him is jayce, and that the only person he actively touches in the entire show is jayce. viktor is reserved and not good with his emotions, which is a huge part of his arc this season. all of these behaviors point to him having a negative self-perception.

I think it’s important to really consider how jayce perceives viktor and how viktor perceives himself. I don’t think this season handled everything perfectly, but I think they handled this very well. viktor has been written with a fullness and complexity that most disabled characters don’t ever get. him being morally grey doesn’t mean he’s “problematic” or “bad representation.” obviously I’m only one disabled person, but I really love jayce and viktor and I think their story is beautifully written.

[ghostgirl-22]

Thoughts on patrick cumming inside of art🫣🫣 or maybe the other way around even

I have so many… (all !NSFW! obviously)

They both just want to unload as much as possible. Claiming each other.

—-

I think Patrick is just filthy about it. He’s probably holding his dick deep inside, as his load spills, saying nonsensical things as if he’s trying to breed Art or he pretend Art is a girl because he knows that drives Art fucking crazy. So the whole time he’s whispering, “Gonna make you swell with my seed”, “keep fucking you till the outline of my cock is permanently hollowed out inside your cunt”, “fill you up so much you can taste me in your mouth”, “fill you up so much you feel me dripping out of you for days.” Then he keeps it inside, till he’s fully hard and ready to do it again.

Or he pulls out half finished and paints Arts bottom with it. Smearing it all over him. Pushing his wet fingers into Arts mouth so he can suck on them, taste him, while he’s rubbing his dick between Art’s cheeks till his cock gets hard again. Then he’s using his previous load as lubricant to push it back in. He does it over and over, until his cock is slipping out on every other thrust. And Arts just babbling mindlessly, drooling on his pillow, wet spot on the bed sheets beneath him growing infinitely larger. His whole body consumed by pleasure.

—

Art is more needy. He’s using Patrick’s body to get off. He needs to bite and lick and suck and mark. His orgasm nearly always takes him by surprise, and then he’s spilling for what feels like an eternity inside Patrick. Lost in the heat of Patrick’s body. He doesn’t care if he comes before first…he cares more about his own pleasure anyway. Patrick can wait, or watch.

Art tells himself he’s not vindictive but he loves how much Patrick squirms for it. How desperate he gets to just get off. Art would take even more time to get Patrick off but when he’s listening to the way Patrick’s begging and whining and moaning “please, please, please I fucking need you,” “please fuck me, please. I promise I’ll be so fucking good for you,” Art’s refractory period all but diminishes and he’s like a teenager. Needing to fuck again 5 minutes after he’s just finished. Patrick’s done after the third round but Art always needs more. Doesn’t care if Patrick’s over stimulated. In fact, most of the time, that’s even more fun.

[theheroand]

:(((

[joanna-lannister]

i hate the "i'm gonna uplift one female character by reducing that other female character's strength and resilience" mindset

[giddlygoat]

my brother can make me laugh without moving at all. he can make me laugh on command, just by existing, and there is no physical tell or indication that it is about to happen. it’s like he can will me to laugh and i will. of course we’re not telepathic, but we do speak in unison sometimes. we improvise like no one’s business. we could fool anyone into believing we are psychically linked. when i try to explain it, i sound silly saying it out loud, but i really CAN tell what he’s thinking. we exchange so much information just with a look. he can make me cry laughing and he doesn’t even have to move

[obessivedork]

Found the first writing decision in Farscape that I'm not fond of that can't be handwaved with "Oh, it's because it's the late 90s". D'argo and Chiana romance, huh? 🤔 Not sure I buy in to it

[aerithisms]

i still have so many questions about the ff7 remake story. why did aerith even have knowledge of the future in remake to begin with? from a watsonion perspective, why does she lose that knowledge after the end of remake when sephiroth doesn't? (i'm fully aware the doylist reason is that having a character who knows the future would totally break the plot but i'm still curious if there's more to what they were doing with aerith's remake character or if this is it). what was her motivation to encourage the party to fight the whispers in the original game when she knew the party would defeat sephiroth in the end if events followed fate? was it simply that she wanted the chance to live? because that makes me want to lie down and cry!!!!

[coolspacequips]

Menacing black cat crosses my path this October Friday 13th 😳.........

[adhbabey]

You should always be wary of people who swear off therapy and then minimize, attack and step over your own feelings and experiences, because they think they're above having therapy, or they've tried it for one day, or one week and didn't seek another professional's advice.

Because genuinely, my heart goes out to everyone whose tried therapy and it hasn't worked for them because of problems outside of their control. But for people who fight you on the fact that therapy never works, not for anyone, and that they're better off just reading psychology and theory, those are the people that you should criticize the most.

It is obvious to anyone in the disabled or neurodivergent or mentally ill community that plenty of professionals are fucking stupid or ignorant because they haven't researched enough or learned past a certain point in their lives and stopped helping their patients beyond what they took tests for. And those are the people who let down people the most when it comes to helping people. Those are the people you shouldn't trust with your time or money.

So what makes you think that reading a couple psychology books, probably the same old, traditional bullshit, that they taught to all those terrible doctors, will actually help with yours or anyone else's mental health issues. Everyone whose met an annoying psychology major knows. It's clear that trying to be intellectually superior than a literal patient in therapy, or someone actually living with the disabilities described in those books, isn't the brightest idea.

As someone whose tried and failed to DIY their own mental health journey, it is not easy nor recommended to go through this shit alone. You probably shouldn't, because its damn well easy to make your mental health worse, because it's so easy to fuck something up. Like accidentally or purposely triggering yourself, in order to get to the bottom to why you're feeling something. It's not fun.

So please, if you're having trouble finding therapy, there are community resources out there to help you deal with shit on your own, but don't go spouting stuff you don't actually understand. Don't go trusting strangers who say they have the answers to self help, and then twist around actual clinical terms to bring their point home, don't listen to those people. Don't listen to people who spitefully swear off therapy because they think they can handle it all by themselves. Just don't trust people who don't actually have a degree, and still criticize the ones that do. If some advice to you, seems off, or overblown or diminished, you should be questioning that advice. You should be getting a second opinion.

I make mental health and disabled content all the time on here because I want people to be informed, and to find community and resources to get the help that you need. But you can't pull therapy words out of your ass and expect people not to question you. Talk to the community and don't just go informing random strangers, if you don't know what you're talking about.

If you abuse your platform to misinform other ignorant people, you deserve to have your platform taken away. So treat the chance to educate people as a privilege, don't use it to spout bullshit that you don't understand. Therapy isn't a last resort, so don't listen to anyone that treats it that way.

[hauntingblue]

I don't know what to say... everyone got a happy ending except the people who actually wanted a real revolution and had a cause for it... but it's not like we had much of their opinions on this I guess... also no final lez sex scene... tragic

[chororine]

[bitchthefuck1]

have you watched the pjo show?

I saw the first 2 episodes when they came out at a watch party one of my friends threw, and as soon as they ended I realized I didn't particularly care to keep going. It wasn't like, outrageously bad by any means, I just don't think it gripped me enough to want to continue, and there were enough odd adaptational choices that I thought weakened the story that I lost interest. I might have tuned back in if the changes actually built to something interesting in the later episodes, but from everything I've seen it kinda seems like they just took the teeth out of the story, which was what I was worried about.

That being said, the cast seems really great and well suited to their roles, so like, if they improve the writing and pacing in the later seasons and stop sanding down all the rough edges, I might pick it back up. But otherwise, pass.

[synapticconstruction]

Apollo being Will’s assigned fursona is funny but like,. I think knowing the context later on when Will notes that outside of swimming, she had a passion for art, although a side hobby of hers, she nevertheless would draw what her and Will’s interests and have her own characters. It kills me knowing how although it dwindled among sharing her art, this game is what’s left and like although you have NO CLUE as to why this Let’s Play is happening you have to sit and just think about the GRIP these text boxes have on Will It’s

[lesbiansanemi]

I should stop watching stuff on cults

[samarecharm]

I think. I am going to try ranked splatoon…

[raspberryjellybrains]

I've been thinking a lot lately about Delirium and the way she speaks. She talks around a concept, never hitting it head on but glancing off through a series of metaphors and related concepts that explain things far better than wording them straight might. It's very relatable, and I think that's why I like her; that's how I think.

To me, the world isn't composed of precisely defined concepts but a series of interconnected existences which can all, ultimately, be related to each other. I also experience things in the incredibly specific manner Delirium seems to. I have sensitivities largely untethered from aversions, meaning that while I don't often find things deeply unpleasant or intolerable, I still experience them with an unusual specificity which often defies concise explanation. The best way I can convey certain feelings or experiences is through other feelings, experiences, and concepts to weave together a series of approximations that through their similar and dissimilar traits narrow down to what I'm trying to describe. Delirium does this too, and it's treated as a part of her that's no better or worse than any other. There are those that don't understand and those that do, and those that at least try to are awarded for their efforts because finally and most importantly, she genuinely has something to say. Her speech patterns are deceptively rambling because she takes a long time to say what she means to say, while simultaneously saying exactly it.

Delirium is neurodivergent coded in such a cathartic way because of this. I feel her frustration and joy because I know what it's like to be the person trying to explain something that has no words to assign, asking all of the time if there's a word for what she's feeling as a rhetorical and genuine question so that she can explain something without explaining it and call into question why we feel everything must be precisely laid in the place of as few words as possible. She is incredibly intelligent, but loses track of all of what's happening in a far more obvious way than most because there's just so much to keep track of, which is also very relatable as a neurodivergent person. Without putting labels on the experience, she perfectly captures it. I just... I like Delirium quite a lot, and think she'd be very good at post-modern literature.