#and then I was like nooo they could still reveal that the baby survived in next issue even though Sharon got stabbed in the stomach

[daydreamerdrew]

Captain America (2005) #36

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

I don't know if this has been asked or if you've talked about it, - and I do apologize for any clumsiness in how I sound - but do you think Ada would have any complicated feelings regarding how she's been objectified, sexually or otherwise, in-universe, whether it's by someone like Simmons, people she's worked for etc?

i'm gonna ramble a bit here so sorry in advance lol-

i think that the trauma she experienced from simmons is one that's glossed over a lot. especially the people who are like AdA doEsNt hAve AnY tRaUmA

people are SO FUCKING QUICK to baby leon, but if it's a woman- oh NOOO she doesn't deserve the same thing

one of my major gripes with a lot of people who "aren't happy with ada's redesign" (characterization, voice, style) etc. (ALSO YOU CAN GO PLAY THE OLD GAMES BTW THEY STILL EXIST. ) bother me a lot

it's 2023. can we not have ada be an actual woman character with likes/desires/dislikes/flaws/and a personality that isn't just "sexy asian spy lady" like have we regressed so much that when capcom literally designed ada to be almost completely covered from her neck down was a way to have her be less sexualized? (btw for the people mad about that, she still has her alt outfit!!! so stfu!!!)

also she was still sexy af??? she doesn't need to be literally naked for her to be sexy. (also there needs to be more talk about consent imo cause i really feel like the way people talk about ada makes me think they do not understand consent)

ada's always used her sex appeal in varying degrees in the games/movies. but it was always to her advantage (almost in a way so that she wasn't objectified unless she wanted it that way)

in regards to her damnation outfit and her re6 outfit, which i argue are still sexy but not as revealing as her re4 outfit. i think that was also capcom in a way to modernize her outfits but still have it be her. like okay i know people love her og re4 outfit, but it makes NO SENSE. and because of it, it's one of my least favourite outfits because of how impractical it is. i don't mind her re4r alt outfit though, it's still fuckin hot but yeah (i still think the og re4 dress is really cunty tho skfbsfjs it's good, it's just not my favourite, og re2 is also one of my least faves, the flats and the dress + leggings combo)

also yeah to go back to her trauma, i really wish we saw what she felt at the end of re2r, especially if she thought she was going to die. like- how traumatic is that. the way she also fell, but took the time to comfort leon before dropping. SHE DIDN'T CARE THAT SHE WAS GONNA FALL, SHE COMFORTED LEON FIRST

we still don't know if she knew that she was going to be fine or not. if she fell into water (which i hc more cause she's not seen with a hookshot prior so i don't really hc that she had it the whole time.)

i see that as a common hc that she had one that wesker gave her so that she could get out and survive the fall, but i just legit think she fucking fell. landed into water or something that made it so she was okay. and then figured out how to get out later. (with the help of wesker)

but yeah i do not hc the hook shoot reason.

ANYWAYS MAYBE WE'LL GET TO SEE IT??? SEPARATE WAYS INTRO??? PLEASE??????

also it's clear to me that simmons was fucking obsessed with her and she had to literally break ties with him because he was fucking insane, she knew he was a lost cause. i don't think she'd even entertain him at all, to work with him, so it seemed as she cut ties as soon as she could. i do think that he harassed her a lot, but it's also probably traumatic when she discovers that simmons killed hundreds of women to try and clone ada.

uh im eepy but i'll talk about this more later maybe lol

[justmenoworries]

thoughts on “Thanks to Them” in no particular order:

I am LOVING the all-out representation in this special! Lumity pictures! Luz officially coming out as bi!, the pride flags everywhere! Camila being a massively supportive mom and even reading up on gender-identity! Luz and Camila’s pins!!! casual representation through side characters!!!!!!

Vee’s new human form is so frickin adorableee

I know next to nothing about Masha but the small detail of their name plaque informing visitors that they go by they/them made me so incredibly happy, you don’t even know. what little we do get to see of them is nice too, we’re a sucker for no-nonsense nerds in this household!

the Luz angst in this special hurt me. Luz bby nooo, don’t blame yourself for what a shitty old white man did!

I am. so bitter about Disney chucking TOH. we could have had a whole season of Luz and the witch kids being a happy patchwork family in the human realm. and the mouse took that from us. hatred and rage

hhhHHH, Luz’ palisman still hasn’t hatched, the anticipation is killing meeee (saw a lot of people speculate they’re gonna be a snake which would just...be the coolest thing ever, ngl)

Flapjack is so precious I wish he wasn’t stapled to Golden Boy McStagehog

gotta say, Dana is really good at writing horror. the little glimpses of Belos possessing and feeding off of wildlife had me on the edge of my seat the whole special and the Hunter/Belos reveal was legit terrifying

to all the assholes who were making “Camila is abusive”-essays and screeching about how Camila wanting Luz to be safe meant she wouldn’t let Luz go back to the Demon Realm: how does it feel to be wrong about everything?

fr tho the Camila dream-sequence gave me chills and made me cry. Camila is trying so hard and she was always so supportive and then the shitty education system basically bullied her into sending Luz away. I love how Camila was willing to punch a bitch if they hurt her baby, unironically Mom of the Year. Mom of All the Years.

LUZ GOT HER AZURA BOOK FROM HER DAD I’M FUCKING SOBBING

Luz’ little speech in her diary about how she tries to connect with people via the things she loves and how nothing she’s passionate about is valued by society and thus deemed useless? that hit me where it hurt. stop digging up all my insecurities Dana (I’m joking. mostly)

oh gee, so glad Hunter survived. however could we go on without the white Golden Child sucking up everyone else’s screentime like a fucking leech- *inhales deeply* it’s alright. it’s okay. I’m over it, moving on.

I was more sad about Flapjack’s death then I was about any of the Hunter-angst that got wedged into this special

“We’ll be back after we get some revenge” Willow, I adore you. never change

who would win: Hooty or not-Duolingo Owl? place your bets

ngl I kinda wish Belos died in this special. it feels like he’s starting to overstay his welcome as a villain. we already know everything about him there is to know. the Collector is a way bigger threat then Belos’ll ever be and it would have served as a really good indicator of how strong the kids have become if they’d actually managed to kill Belos this time around. plus, the irony of Wittebitch dreaming about coming back to the Human Realm as a celebrated Witch Hunter General, only to return as a hideous beast that eventually meets his end at the hands of a witch-human alliance, plus a replication of the brother he stabbed in the back, would’ve been delicious

[hazard-queen]

Hi!! How’s the first few days of 2021 treating you?

As my first request of this year may I please get Azul, Rook, Vil, and Idia with platonic MC that always leaves with “I love you” and is just really affectionate?

Hello! It's not good not bad but i survive!

How about you?

It's really my honour to receive your first request of this year and i really hope that you'd like it!

Have a really good day and take care of yourself ~♡

• He just love it, the way you always call him 'love', it's not like your in love with him but you're just being too affectionate with him.

• Whenever he calls you you just answer him with...

• "Yes, love!"

• " i just wanted to ask your opinion about my new shoes! It's the lasts model and it's actually a limited edition!!"

• You giggled and gave him a one big smile and answered without even looking at it.

• "Do you even need to ask? It's just gorgeous as everything you wear, love!"

• He's happy by the compliment but he wanted your opinion not a compliment, he frowned abit as your answer didn't satisfy him

• "Babe i said i want your opinion in my shoes! What you said is really kind but i need the truth!"

• You tiled your head and hummed looking at his shoes , it sparkle like if it was a piece of a shiny diamond

• "What do you think?"

• "just as i said! It's gorgeous....love!"

• Do you know that you're the only one that vil call by their own name not actually 'potato'? It's not like you would complement him all day and tell him everyday that he's the fairest of all and he will call you potato!

• He don't know why but that always make him happy! Some of us know what they have but we always love it when people tell us about it!

• He needs your care and your kindness and being affectionate ia never a problem to him.

• He lost in the game, it was on extreme mode and he was just abouy to win! And the fist thing he did? He ran to you to comfort him!

• "(Y/N)!!!!"

• Kicking the door open you saw idia and he was a mess!

• "What is it, love?"

• He blushed as he heard 'love' from you, he find affection with you he never felt before (except from ortho), you're babying him and he never objectet!

• "I....lost!"

• He looked away in shame and a huge blush appeared on his face like if he did something horrible.

• Silently you opened up for arms and he threw himself into your embrace as you bated his head gently

• "Awww don't be sad you will win next time, love"

• He hugged you tight hiding his face into your embrace, all he need now is to be comforted, he doesn't know why you're always that kind to him but you always find a way to make him feel better

• "Now i will go back and i will DEFINITELY win this time!"

• Taking his way back to his doorm you called him.

• "Go get them...my love!"

• He grinned as he nodded

• "I will!"

• giving you his best smirk...he ran back to his dorm kicking every single enemy and bring back his glory!

• "He's not eating properly! I guess he's not feeling well at all!"

• As jade spoke you could think no other than what kind of plates you're gonna cook and how you're gonna cheer him up, not even answering jade you dashed to prepare a full table of fried food and anything else he loves!

• Knocking the door happily you heard azul's tired voice from inside allowing you to entre the office

• "How are you doing, love?"

• Holding a covered tray you gave him a wide smile as you walked in the room, he was tired but once as he saw your cheerful face he's not sad anymore

• "I'm fine...what do you have here?"

• You gladly uncovered the tray to reveal every single plate he loves, at first he was happy but as he remembered the reason why he's sad he pouted

• "What's wrong, love? Don't you like my cooking?"

• You gave him a sad pout as he sigh and decided to tell you what's destroying his appetite and annoying him that way!

• " i...i gained some weight!"

• He was so sad telling you that, you know how hard he tries to keep fit, you took two toasts and placed one on each cheek.

• "What are you?"

• "An idiot sandwich!"

• "Nooo~ you're my perfect sandwich, love!"

• You placed a small kiss on his forehead wich made the blush on his face even darker

• "W will you stilll love me even if i gained weight?"

• "I will always love you no matter what, my love!!!!"

• "....then give me some fried food!!!"

• He was training non stop!, aiming, focusing and shooting! , how long has he been there? Couple hours? Maybe....

• You walked by after watching him in silence for couple minutes of watching him training, you wanted to quietly watch him and leave afterwards but you were concern with cuts formed on his had and the blood dripping from it.

• "Are you ok, love?"

• He smiled the second he saw you unaware of his injury at all, you took his hand in yours and eyed it, it was full of bruises and cuts, it seems he was practicing hard recently.

• "It's fine don't worry about it, that always happen to me while training!"

• Waving to you like if he doesn't care or feel anything you gave him a worried expression.

• "Let me cure it, my love! Please i can't handle seing your hand like that!"

• As he saw how determined you got he sigh, he agreed tho he could bandage it himself but he let you do it.

• "This is gonna sting abit!"

• Placing the cotton full of the disinfecting liquid on his wounds he squeezed his eyes shut from the sudden pain.

• "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to pain you"

• "It's ok, i didn't know it's that bad anyway!"

• Gently you cover all the wounds and finished your job there!

• "Do you feel good?"

• "Yeah....but i still feel some pain, it seems i went very far with trading but thank you so much i feel better"

• He shook his hand with a smile on his face, yet you still feel that he's not good enough, then an idea came to your head!

• You took his hand and placed a gentle kiss on the place where you covered his wound, your sudden action made rook's face all red as he jumped from his place!

• "W waht are you doing?!"

• "They said if you kiss the place where the pain is, it will disappear! And i wanted your pain to disappear, love!"

• Giving him a closed eye smile he gave you a grateful expression before he took your hand and bent down placing a kiss on your hand.

• "That's so kind of you mon cher, but the only hand should be kissed is yours...and yours only!"

[chisinpink]

The Only One: A Mastermind!Nagito AU Story - PROLOGUE

Hello lovelies, I’ve posted a *lot* about my Mastermind!Nagito AU on tiktok (I’m @chisben there as well if you wanna check it out), and I rly wanna share it here so here’s the prologue! Special thanks to @servanthaji for helping out with the planning of this whole story in general!

(Content warning for mentions of bombs and bombings, swearing and crying.)

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JUNKO: Yep, that’s the day that it happened. The day everything started getting… pretty scary, if you ask me! I’m just glad you were outta town for that, and baby was home sick. That’s, like, the only reason she’s here today, too!

HAJIME: Wait, wait, slow down! What are you even talking about…?

JUNKO: Uhh, I’m getting to that? Besides, don’t you know that guy too? Nagito Komaeda?

HAJIME: Not really… I mean, I knew of him, but I was in the reserve course. I didn’t really talk to him or anything until I went to school that Monday, and… there was nobody there except him.

JUNKO: Oh, yea? Did he tell you anything?

HAJIME: Not really. After I got shot at and ran in the school, I asked him what the hell was going on, but it was like I wasn’t there either. He just changed the subject to hope over and over again, like I asked a totally different question, and eventually I just walked away. I still don’t know what he was doing there.

JUNKO: Then maybe he doesn’t want you to know, y’know? You’re so lucky you have me, then~!

(She smirks playfully. Hajime stares at her blankly and her face drops. She stares at a map with a pen in hand.)

JUNKO: Come ooon, I’m coping! This is pretty stressful for everyone, y’know, I use humor to forget about all this stupid shit.

HAJIME: Whatever… just… tell me what’s going on.

JUNKO: Well, what happened that day… that was the start of The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History… in my opinion. And that’s saying a lot, because this world is filled with despair! And, like, his whole class helped him do what he did to the country! No idea why that is, but we can all fill you in on the rest, I guess. Preeeety sure we were all there in some way, ‘cept my baby.

(She gestures to the entirety of Class 78 of Hopes Peak Academy, standing and sitting in the basement of the school, as well as Mikan Tsumiki, who has a timid smile on her face as Junko looks back at her. Hajimes face drops.) 

HAJIME: Wh… what?? That can’t be it, that can’t be what happened…! The whole class?? The whole country?!

JUNKO: Eeeyup! They evacuated the school by putting a bomb under their teachers desk, and apparently all around the school, and I have NO idea how that lady didn’t croak! Anyways, everyone had to leave, and… that’s basically all I know. They just repeated that ooover and ooover on the news, it made me sick!!

(She threw her pen at a tiny radio propped up on a few cardboard boxes.)

HAJIME: Wh… this doesn’t… but… but, I...

(Kyoko steps forward and faces Hajime.)

KYOKO: I have some more information on what happened that day. After we were trapped here in the basement, all we had was the radio to inform us of the true nature of what happened. This is what I wrote down from those broadcasts.

(She hands Hajime a folder that contains three sheets of paper, all three of them hand-written notes. He begins reading.)

KYOKO: The class of 77-B was, most likely, all apparently under some sort of drug-induced psychosis. Most witnesses reported that they were acting strangely or out of character before they planted the bombs, and their eyes were hazy and… 

HAJIME: ”swirled”, “mixed”, “terrifying”, “comforting”, “light and dark” ...none of these make any sense.

KYOKO: My thoughts exactly. This entire event is bizarre and without any logical reasoning behind it… if you’d only heard about it on the news. But I think Makoto and I know more than any news outlets.

HAJIME: How?

(She looks over her shoulder to Makoto, signaling him to stand up.)

MAKOTO: Well, about a month ago me and Kyoko were going to one of the computer rooms to print something, but it was kind of out of the way, so we didn’t expect him to be there. N-Nagito, I mean. We saw him talking to Chihiro, and, uhm… I didn’t hear that part.

(He looks up to Chihiro. They stand meekly and fold their arms.)

CHIHIRO: H-he had been asking me to collaborate with him on a personal project, but… I didn’t have any spare time, and I didn’t even know him that well! So I finally just told him no, and he left me alone for a day or two… but t-then…

(Tears form at the corners of their eyes.)

CHIHIRO: H-he told me that… he was gonna… destroy the sc-sc-school if I didn’t-!

(They cover their face, and Makoto reaches out to rub their shoulder.)

MAKOTO: It’s not your fault, Chihiro. It’s nobody's fault but his. B-but anyway, after we heard about that, we decided that we had to keep an eye on him, but… basically the next day is when the bombs went off.

HAJIME: Why didn’t you just… tell a teacher what he told Chihiro?

MAKOTO: In hindsight… yeah, that would’ve been the safest thing we could’ve done. But Kyoko thought that we couldn’t keep an eye on him if he was expelled for that, a-and he could have been doing anything at home, so we fo-

KYOKO: Makoto, please, don’t. I was a coward, and I didn’t trust anybody else to investigate the matter. This whole situation could have been de-escalated dramatically if I had told school faculty.

(Kiyotaka stands from his spot next to Mondo.)

TAKA: You DIDN’T inform a teacher, or the Headmaster?! Miss Kirigiri, the school faculty always knows what is best for us!!

MONDO: Yeaaaah, is that why they all jumped ship and fucked off to who-knows-where so we could fight like dogs in the basement?

AOI: Hey, they did what they could, okay?? They had to protect themselves like everyone else! We’re not any better by hiding in the basement.

MONDO: Where the fuck ELSE were we supposed to go?? Candy land?!

YASUHIRO: Hey hey hey, Chihiro was right to lead us here the day the bombs went off! But I hear ya, maybe we coulda moved out of Japan together or somethin’ instead of hiding in Japan!

TOKO: I-I see why you’ve had to retake this year as m-much as you did now, you dumbass! He could b-be expanding anywhere now!!

BYAKUYA: As much as I hate to agree with her, I do. Nowhere is truly safe, and for all we may know, we’re being actively searched for. It’s only a matter of time before we have to relocate.

SAYAKA: I-I can’t stay here another second!! 

CELESTIA: Oh, so do you two suggest that we run out into the streets and expose ourselves to the predators? Play Nagitos game of cat and mouse?

LEON: Hell NO, I’m not playing that freaks game! But if he’s got his little possie out there looking every which way for us, then we gotta at least try and delay it!

SAKURA: On the other hand, we don’t know what they might want from us, if anything, or how bad the situation has escalated since we decided to hide.

HIFUMI: We don’t even KNOW what’s out there w-waiting for us anymore?! There could be giant mutant spiders wanting to turn us into baby food by now! I’m staying right HERE.

YASUHIRO: ...okay, I’m officially lost. Are we moving or staying?

SAYAKA: Moving!!

BYAKUYA: If you all intend on surviving, then you’ll all relocate. If you intend on being brutally murdered, then by all means, feel free to stay for a bit longer.

LEON: What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?? 

MAKOTO: H-hey, everybody calm down!!

SAKURA: We cannot make a decision until we know more about the outside world. AOI: But isn’t it because of what we don’t know that we have to go out there by now?

SAYAKA: Maybe some of us could go and some of us could stay?

TOKO: W-what if that reveals the hiding spot f-f-for everybody else??

MIKAN: (wiping away tears and hiccupping) N-nooo!!

YASUHIRO: Then we all have to come to the same decision, then.

CELESTIA: Yes, good luck reaching a peaceful consensus during the middle of an apocalypse!

BYAKUYA: I never said that it had to be a peaceful decision. If needed, you will all follow me kicking and screaming so I don’t perish thanks to your idiocy.

MONDO: I’ll knock some idiocy into ya if you keep runnin’ your mouth like that!

TAKA: Remember to take deep stomach breaths, bro! I think we can all solve this by utilizing a popular vote!

HIFUMI: But wouldn’t whoever’s the most popular win anyway??

HAJIME: SHUT UP!!! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!!

(Everyone stops talking and stares at Hajime, who’s trembling and has his face in his hands.)

JUNKO: Daaaaaaamn, rookie’s kinda bold to be screaming at us like that, huh?

MAKOTO: Junko… you’re not helping. He’s obviously overwhelmed and you’re just teasing him.

JUNKO: C’mon, I’m nowhere near him! Hahah!

(Makoto sighs, sitting down next to Hajime on the floor. The rest of the students talk amongst themselves.)

MAKOTO: ...I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask to be here, but… for what it’s worth, I’m glad that you’re still alive somehow.

HAJIME: … 

MAKOTO: You know… when Mukuro found you unconscious in that class, we all thought you were one of Nagitos’ friends. You seemed too peaceful in your sleep to have been running from anybody, or hiding from anything.

HAJIME: ...then why did you help me?

KYOKO: We thought we could get some information about the outside world. But apparently, you're just as lost as the rest of us.

MAKOTO: A-and because we didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Even if you were one of his people, we didn’t want you to just be out there. I’m glad that you weren’t, though… it feels nice to meet someone new again.

(Hajime lifts his face from his hands, palms and face covered in tears. He looks at Makoto with a faint smile.)

HAJIME: Yeah… feels nice.

☘️ TO BE CONTINUED☘️

[january-tala]

I finished Return of The Thief!!!

Non-spoilery comments:

1. IT WAS SO GOOD! ARGHASLDFJ 2. If you’re anxious, don’t be. Trust MWT.

Now, for all the wild screaming into the void, because I need to get all these irrational, overwhelming feelings out before I hop on over at Sounis LJ and pretend to be smart.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS!

My “live-blog” notes:

- "So, so, so" is out. "Miras' golden balls" is in. - He has all the fighting spirit of an apricot... Like riding a slowly moving sofa - LOL, though I do admit, I find it ironic that Irene would give Gen a horse as a gift, when she's worried of a fall and her own brother died of a fall from horseback - Gen's apartments were Irene's brothers' - two Cleons! two Ions! - why is Attolian!Ion doing back with Gen? Didn't he go with Sophos? - princess Bythesea? LIke, "by the sea"? - SCARY GEN. SCARY GEN EVERYWHERE. SOPHOS! THE PENT! - okay let's back it up here - Sophos throwing water on Gen - GEN CLIMBING UP TO THE WINDOW!!! - ATTOLIA LAUGHING ABOUT IT ZOMG - A;LDFJA;SLDFJAS;LDJK THE PENT AND ATTOLIA AND EUGENIDES AND ALSDFJA;SLDFJKA;LSDFKJ ARRGGGHHHH THAT WAS PRECIOUS BUT ALSO MADDENING - like, here i was, thinking it's Gen who's in danger of getting snatched by a mistress; i was NOT expecting it the other way around - also, every passage i'm either "omg, gen's gonna die" or "nah, he'll be fine." it's so scary whenever pheris talks about the "nowadays" rather than telling the narrative - OMG AND THEN... AND THEN!!! RIGHT AFTER THE PENT SCENE... OMGGGGG THEY JUST DID IT IN THAT ROOM HUH - what is up with all these horrid ambassadors from everywhere?? (Except for the Braels. That one is a keeper)

- Ohh look Irene is doing needlework! Finally! A book where needlework isn't mocked. - Gen doing a somersault from Fryst! - Costissssss!!!!! - oh no! I forgot what Costis's arrival meant - aww, that kindly stable master. bless him! - Genny!!??? GENNY??!!!! I shall now call all my children with a Y at the end. Ireny! Heleny! Bunny can remain the same (though Sophy sounds cute too) - Kamet! - Yessss, Relius! Is back in action!! Also described as "very handsome" so it looks like Costis has competition here - tortured by the *king*?? Wasn't it Attolia who tortured Relius? - lol apparently nobody's ages are going to be revealed - "some unknown sailor fired without orders" something tells me this was planted - Teleus and Relius bro-time. yes i approve - whoa I see an elephant in the drawing!! - okay, was it ever mentioned that Eddisians have tattoos?? Or is this like the first time that was mentioned and everyone is as shocked as me??? - guys, imagine, the MoW. Tattoos!! - okay, so clearly Relius is a playboy?? and i never caught the hint?? - Helen and Irene girl talk, yessss - Fordad's nice. I hope he's not secretly a bad guy - OH NO OH NO Gen resigned!!! What will Irene do? She cannot rule alone again! - omg Gen is such a rebel. I feel for this poor boy. Let me hug him. Let his queen hug him. Somebody hug him! - OMG OMG OMG they're gonna go to Gen's bedroom in Eddis' library, right??? That tumblr post was right! - wooot oh man, Susa turned! whoaaaaa. Gen is so powerful. I am at AWE - asdfasdf neck kisses, hold me, i'm dying - w-w-wait.... so is Susa and Erondites still plotting together though?? Susa, you little snake, I had believed you! - no, Costis is leaving already??

- Costis and the whole comment about "his heart" isn't in his work XD. Though -- guys -- I'm gonna confess, ten years of manning my tiny crack-boat of Costistogiton, I'm a little heartbroken to know they've no hope - Teleus and Relius... Teleus and Relius???? THIS IS CANON GUYS??? But Relius is a playboy??? How does Teleus handle that??? ship name? telrel? leuslius? - Lol, the magus being sassy to his king - ohhhh all these glorious tidbits we're learning about the Eddisian royalty. Helen's mother had an affair with Gen's father? I would not have expected it of the MoW!!! He seemed too straitlaced and in love with his Thief wife - oh. no. eugenides robbed eugenides. i would have NEVER - STENIDESSSSS!!!! - Gen channeling some Edward Elric energy there about his height, huh? Never thought he was bothered by it - what happened to Gen's stomach illness? Is it now gone because the sand in his food is gone? - "Hilarion knew a disaster when he saw one looming right in front of him." OMGGG this is throwback to that Philo comment in KoA - poor Legarus, now the shining example of a man who did poorly in love - OH MY GOD! Teleus was the one who copied the poem for Relius??? - OH. MY. GOD. Irene is pregnant again. - asdlfjalsdkfj "I didn't become inappropriate on my own!" al;sdjfk these babies. - NO. NOOOO GEN DON'T GO AFTER NAHUSERESH!! - NOOOOO STENIDES NOOOOO We never even met you! (except for that one short story) - Hilarion noooooo - oh nooo Gen being tortured AGAIN noooo how much more can this poor boy handle?

- yess Gen the Thief again!! - Eugenides Eugenideides??? - Philoo nooooo! To think he might still be alive if he *had* fought in the battle instead of accompanying Gen to the trap. I am sore about this, ok? SORE - At least my boy Aris is still alive - nooo Fordad, how could you. I rooted for you - Irene crying. My baby - At least Petrus and Galen have finally teamed up - RELIUS NOOOOOOOO. I HATE FORDAD SO MUCH. SO MUCH - no no no I refuse to believe it. Relius is ALIVE hiding REALLY WELL. Shame on him for breaking poor Teleus's and Pheris's hearts - omg Sejanus. All the Pherises. Their poor dear mother, having to be married to the nasty old Erondites - you go, random horseman who took Pheris on your lap!! *I* say you survived the battle; you and Pheris just never crossed paths again - Noo MoW... =( - oh noo, Sejanus. =( All these people I'm mourning when I had hated them before. Though to be fair, Sejanus was really sympathetic at the end of KoA already - HEEECTTTOOORRR????? - LOL omgggg, Baron Anacritus dancing with his lover right after his wife??? the Nerve! - YESSSS,  WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT RELIUS?? Yeeaaaaaah!! Now he can go back to Teleus and Pheris, and dote on the prince and princess! - wait, where my boy ARIS at??? Please tell me he and Costis are still 2 peas in a pod!!! - ohhohhooh awwww that lovely short story!!! Irene was descended from a goddess too? Aww. And I suspected Alyta is also the water goddess from QoA. - I can't believe it. It's DONE. It was SO GOOD. I would be cherishing this last book for decades, y'all. It was SO GOOD.

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

3Below Season 2 reactions

This will obviously be 100% spoilers!

Krel’s vision in the Deep being set in Arcadia and his later decision to stay on Earth felt like it came out of nowhere at first, although on further consideration, his desperation to ‘make his mark’ on the town in Season 1 and his jealousy of Aja being more popular at school than he was, suggests he did bond pretty deeply with the town and the planet and wanted that bond to be mutual. That said, he always seemed more at peace than Aja was with their royal status, and Krel seemed to miss Akiridion-5 more than she did since he was the one who spoke the most often and fervently about going back.

What did come out of nowhere was Krel and Mary holding hands in the last episode. They interacted, what, twice before that in the whole series?

I was surprised Toby took as long as he did to tell Darci about extraterrestrials considering she already knew about trolls by that point.

Did not care for the return of the Toby-focused fat jokes.

Toby and Eli making a movie was fun.

Zadra loves Nougat Nummies and fancy red boots. This is wonderful. I like how, after she got caught in the net, she was straining to reach the candy on the ground instead of her scythe, which she could have used to cut herself down and get at the candy more easily.

Mary intimidating Colonel Kubritz off school grounds with threats of a potential viral video of the Colonel making xenophobic statements, and everyone agreeing and getting out their phones to record, was great. I also enjoyed Mary punting the Omen head.

I like that Sargent guy whose name I never caught, the one who questioned the ethics of teaming up with an extraterrestrial dictator to hunt down extraterrestrial refugee children, and later defected.

I think the reason Kubritz trusted Morando was because he was the first extraterrestrial to initiate communication before showing up on Earth?

The Foo Foo bounty hunters are fantastic additions to the cast. I like how they’re all named ‘Foo Foo the [Something]”.

I felt so bad for that electricity guy who agreed to power the laser so Earth wouldn’t be destroyed like his planet was and then got re-imprisoned by Area 49B and killed by Morando. I was surprised and confused the Tarrons (or Toby, who was also there) didn’t express any hesitation or objection to leaving him behind when they were escaping.

NOOO, BUUUSSSSTEEERRR!!!

In the season’s opening scene when Toby bikes past the restaurant with Barbara, Strickler, and AAARRRGGHH inside, I’m pretty sure AAARRRGGHH is holding one of the Familiar babies. (Edit - what I thought was a baby head may actually have been light reflecting off the up-sweep at the back of Strickler’s mullet.)

Zadra and Izita hugged when reunited!

If Nancy was a spy in the First World War (1914-1918) and the Tales of Arcadia are set in 2016-2017 (based on Enrique’s ‘2016′ cradle inscription in the Darklands), then even if she became a spy as a child or young teen and near the end of the war, that means she’s over a hundred years old.

... You know, Toby never says that Nana is his grandmother. Likewise, I don’t think she refers to him as her grandson, only ever as her Toby-pie. She could be his great-grandmother. Or, like, a great-aunt whose youngest sibling was Toby’s grandparent/great-grandparent but said great-aunt was for some reason the only relative able and willing to take him in after his parents were lost at sea, assuming that story is true.

According to the radio announcer, Season 2 of 3Below starts two weeks after Season 1 ended, the same amount of time as passed between Seasons 1 and 2 of Trollhunters.

Humans have studied the moon pretty thoroughly, as celestial bodies go; does Area 49B know that there’s a bounty hunter truck-stop-equivalent up there? Or at least that there’s something built up there?

I should probably create a tag for Douxie. I’m going to wait until the cat in glasses has an on-camera name reveal to make that tag. The cat’s chest marking looks like the computer power symbol upside-down.

How does AAARRRGGHH know what a Familiar is in this context, as a ‘wizard assistant/associate’ rather than ‘human-transformation base for a Changeling’? Have trolls had many dealings with wizards other than Merlin? Has AAARRRGGHH personally met any?

If troll lore, as described by Vendel, prophesized Akiridions coming/returning to Earth, why did Blinky, a historian, not know about them in D’Aja Vu? Did that come up offscreen or had he just dismissed it as a legend instead of history?

Undead Heartstone? Also, why didn’t these Gumm-Gumms blow up when the rest did after Gunmar died? Did the undead Heartstone put them back together? Are they going to revive from being killed again?

When asked if the undead Gumm-Gumms are “friends of yours?” and AAARRRGGHH replies “not anymore,” is he referring to the Trollmarket residents who were mind-controlled into becoming Gumm-Gumms, or how he used to be a Gumm-Gumm himself?

Kanjigar created the Deep?! How? Did Vendel know about this? How did other trolls discover how it works (fighting your deepest fear) without the implication coming about that Kanjigar had gone down there and survived? (I mean, I question how they figured out what it does regardless of how it came to exist, but really this just raises further questions.)

GodMode!Morando gets an eye injured, continuing the TOA theme of eye damage. 

Apparently there is some kind of physical difference between a royal Akiridion’s core and any other Akiridion’s core, and that’s why the laser to take out GodMode!Morando needed to be powered by royal cores specifically? Instead of, hypothetically speaking, Vex and Zadra, the sworn protectors of the royal family? 

Because we spent more time with her than them, I felt that Mother’s heroic sacrifice death scene was more emotionally wrenching than the King and Queen’s heroic sacrifice death scene.

The Resistance’s reaction to Krel’s boombox was entertaining.

What does Eli’s family think of him moving to Akiridion-5? It’s implied he grabbed the chance as fast as he could without giving anyone time to argue with him about it. Of course, with the wormhole, he can theoretically go back and forth easily.

Steve and Coach are bonding well but we still haven’t seen Steve’s mom onscreen and I don’t think there were even any lines from her this season.

Okay, because he wasn’t seen this season, it would appear Dictatious did go to New Jersey with the majority of the trolls instead of staying with the Domzalskis. Unless he was just hiding in the basement the entire time. Do they even have a basement?

I assume Jim and Blinky’s battle that Toby’s call interrupted will be shown from their perspective in Wizards. Jim’s casual “How’s it going?” was cute.

[seriestrash]

Jackson Street Gym

Summary: AU where Cyrus doesn’t know where TJ works and stumbles across him there by chance. Requested by anon [x]

Time frame of this AU: Same as the actual scene, whilst Buffy is away.

Read on Ao3

Word Count: 1979

It’s Saturday morning and after staying up until the early AM working on a science project, Cyrus is not thrilled to be waking up only a few hours later. He’s even less enthused about his wakeup call being delivered by a five year old jumping on top of him. 

“Hi, Cy, Hi, Cy, Hi, Cy!” The young boy chants as he bounces on his knees on Cyrus’s bed. 

“Hi, Mason.” Cyrus sleepily greets his step brother. “When did you get here?” 

“Mommy just dropped me off.” Mason finally stops his jumping. 

Cyrus looks at the digital clock on his nightstand and groans at it only being a few minutes after six in the morning, meaning he barely got three hours sleep.  

“Dad and Leslie said we get to spend the day together and it’s going to be so much fun!” Mason excitedly hits Cyrus in the arm. 

“Yay.” Cyrus’s fake enthusiasm was not winning him any awards. 

Cyrus sleepily drags himself out of bed and into the kitchen where Leslie gives him a sympathetic smile as she pours him cereal. 

“I didn’t know Mase was coming over this weekend.” Cyrus was so tired that he missed his mouth after trying to take a mouthful of his breakfast. 

“Kelly’s sister went into labour early so she dropped him here.” Leslie explains why Mason is here on a weekend that he’d normally be with his mother.

“I’m getting a new baby cousin.” Mason is enthusiastic as he bounces around the kitchen. 

“Yeah you are, buddy,” Todd picks up Mason and spins him around, “Why don’t we put your bag in your room and let Cyrus have a chance to wake up properly?” 

“Okay.” Mason seems disappointed as Todd carries him out fo the room. 

“I know you were up late last night, Cookie but-” Leslie begins but Cyrus cuts in. 

“Nooo.” Cyrus groans. 

“Honey, I know but Todd and I both have patients all day.” Leslie looks apologetic. 

“I love Mason but he’s so exhausting,” Cyrus sighs, “And I’m already so exhausted.” 

“You could take him to the park or that kids gym on Jackson Street and he’ll tire himself out by lunch.” Leslie suggests. 

“That is some optimistic thinking.” Cyrus yawns knowing full well the chances of tiring out that pure energy ball were slim.

Cyrus gets dressed for the day as Mason was already eagerly nagging him about doing something fun. Cyrus had nothing against his energetic step brother it was just that they had very little in common - with him being five and all - and Mason was known to be spritely and considering Cyrus’s lack of sleep, the full on day did not sound ideal. 

Cyrus decides to take Mason to the Jackson Street Gym as it was a controlled environment and therefore easier to keep track of the bouncy kid. The two are walking down the street together when Mason spots the sign and runs ahead. 

“Be careful of the road!” Cyrus chases after him but is uncoordinated with his efforts and trips over, scraping both his palms up in his attempts to catch himself from falling.  

Cyrus picks himself up just as Mason barrels into the gym. Cyrus stops to assess his tender hands that were scraped pretty badly and beginning to bleed. Although his injuries stung, Cyrus has little time to stand around and think about them as he had to catch up with Mason. 

Once inside the gym, Cyrus freezes when he spots Mason bouncing up and down - nothing out of the ordinary there - what actually surprises Cyrus is the person bouncing along excitedly with him. It’s none other than TJ Kippen. Scary turned not-so-scary basketball guy. Or, super-kind-to-me-but-not-always-to-Buffy basketball guy. A concept which leaves Cyrus conflicted about their friendship now that Buffy has moved away. 

In a panic Cyrus takes a purposeful dive behind a stack of safety mats. Once crouched behind them, Cyrus begins to wonder just what his plan was, what was next? He’d hide there forever and abandon Mason? Hope TJ leaves before Mason questions where he is? Cyrus is dwelling over his lack of viable choices when two familiar faces peek around the mats to look at him. 

“Hey, Underdog.” TJ says with a crooked smirk. 

“Whatcha doing, Cy?” Mason questions. 

“Hi,” Cyrus says still in his crouched position with a little wave, “I was just playing hide and seek. Mase, you win..” He offers up unconvincingly. 

“Hey, did you hurt yourself?” TJ asks concerned after noticing Cyrus’s injury when he waved. 

Cyrus faces his palms towards himself, both of which were still bleeding. “Oh,” Cyrus says as he gets to his feet, “I just tripped over outside, it’s nothing.”

“Hey, Mason, why don’t you go play with some of the other kids and I’ll help your clumsy brother here clean up?” TJ says with a smirk meant for Cyrus although it was pointed at the younger boy. 

Mason happily joins in with the other younglings and TJ leads Cyrus to the back after telling one of the older workers he was helping a friend out. The two teens are inside the staff room where TJ wets some paper towel and helps Cyrus clean his palms gently. 

“So what’s the verdict, am I going to make it?” Cyrus asks. 

“I think you’ll survive.” TJ says with a chuckle as he throws away the damp paper towel. He then takes Cyrus’s hands and looks over his palms again. “We have some decorative band-aids if that will make you feel better?”

“I wouldn’t say no to something with dinosaurs on it...” Cyrus jokingly fakes being sheepish. 

TJ wears a knowing look as he reaches for the first aid kit. Then he rather excitedly reveals a box of band-aids. Cyrus’s mouth hangs agape and he takes the small box in his hands, “They’re shaped like little tyrannosaurus rexes.” 

“For your dino-sores.” TJ laughs softly as he takes the box and points to the pun on the label. 

“Well I’d hate to bleed out.” Cyrus says goofily and he holds out his palms. TJ obliges and places a green dinosaur band-aid on each of Cyrus’s scrapes. 

“There, all better.” TJ says with a grin. 

Cyrus is smiling at the decorative dino on each palm when TJ continues, “I didn’t know you had a little brother?” 

“Step brother technically,” Cyrus explains, “But yeah, we’ve been brothers since he was one.” 

“So you two must be pretty close then?” TJ asks.

“Not exactly.” Cyrus frowns. “We don’t have much in common.” 

TJ laughs at this, “Cyrus, he’s five, you’re not supposed to have stuff in common, you’re supposed to have fun.” 

“I suppose working at a kids gym makes you the expert?” Cyrus folds his arms. 

“It helps,” TJ laughs, “And so does having younger siblings myself.” 

“You do?” Cyrus asks. 

“Yep, twins, a boy and a girl, making for the most hyperactive duo. I also have an older sister so I have experience being the younger sibling too.” TJ explains. 

“I did not know you came from a big family.” Cyrus says, “I also didn’t know you worked here.” 

“And here I was thinking you were stalking me.” TJ jokes. 

“You’re full of surprises, TJ.” Cyrus says with a titled head and fixed gaze causing TJ to look away nervously. 

“Mason seemed pretty excited when he first got here.” TJ tries to shift focus off himself. 

“Mason is excited about everything.” Cyrus states with a laugh.

“Maybe so, but he was particularly excited about having- how did he put it?” TJ pauses for a second and smiles, “Super mega fun time with his big brother.”

“He said that?” Cyrus asks with a smile.

“In his eyes, you’re the coolest person he knows.” TJ pats Cyrus on the shoulder. 

“He clearly doesn’t know a lot of people.” Cyrus scoffs and TJ rolls his eyes at Cyrus’s negativity.  

“From one big brother to another, they all think we’re the coolest.” TJ leans in closer like he was letting Cyrus in on a secret. 

“You’re also a little brother too.” Cyrus highlights with a raised brow, “Is your sister the coolest person you know?”

“God no,” TJ scoffs, “I’m old enough to know better,” He laughs, “She takes way too long in the bathroom.”

Cyrus chuckles along at this.

“So.” TJ says nervously after the room falls silent, “I should get back to work.” 

“You probably should.” Cyrus laughs with a nod. 

“There’s a parents room out the back where the mom’s and dad’s all sit around and read magazines or talk about their kids,” TJ explains with a look of boredom, “But you’re welcome to hang out the front with me and Mason and about a dozen other kids.” 

“Is that allowed?” Cyrus questions. 

“Of course.” TJ nods. “You could maybe finish that game of hide and seek?” 

Cyrus’s cheek burn red under TJ’s knowing look. 

“If I was an insecure guy I might have thought you were avoiding me.” TJ adds more sheepishly. 

“What, why would I be avoiding you?” Cyrus scoffs dramatically although he intended for it to be casual.

TJ and Cyrus make their way back out into the gym where Mason pounces on Cyrus. With TJ’s comment about not having to have things in common rather just have fun in Cyrus’s mind, he lets himself enjoy the quality time with his brother. It also wasn’t terrible spending the day with TJ either, more so very enjoyable and any guilt Cyrus felt about Buffy was lost in the moment. 

After some fun and games - and a whole lot of chasing Mason around - Cyrus is beginning to feel his three hours of sleep catch up with him. 

“Does this place have a nap time?” Cyrus asks with a yawn. 

“It’s a gym, Underdog, not a daycare.” TJ laughs, “Why are you so tired?”

“I stayed up late working on my science project.” Cyrus explains. 

“But that’s due on Monday?” TJ wears a quizzical look. “You stayed up all night on a Friday to work on an assignment that isn’t due until Monday?” 

“Yes?” Cyrus is confused over what the big deal was. “I’ve been working on it all week, I just put the finishing touches on it last night.. Or this morning depending how you look at at...” 

“I haven't even started mine.” TJ shrugs nonchalantly with a laugh. 

Cyrus winces at this, it hurt his academic achieving ways. 

“Going by the look on your face I’d say I better start it tonight and not leave it until tomorrow like I had planned?” TJ chuckles. 

“I think that’s a good plan.” Cyrus nods with a smile. 

Mason joins the pair of teens and tugs on Cyrus’s arm. 

“Hey, Mason, are you getting tired yet, you maybe want to go home?” Cyrus looks at the boy hopefully. 

“No!” Mason runs a circle around TJ and Cyrus. 

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Cyrus frowns sleepily. “I think I might just sit down for a little bit and watch.” 

Cyrus walks over to one of the foam cubes in the room and sits down, tucking his head up on his arms on top of the cube, “You have fun, Mase.” 

“Ni, ni, Cy.” Mason gently pats Cyrus’s hair before returning to play. 

TJ watches and lets out a quiet laugh at the very tired Cyrus. “Dork.” He says to himself before addressing the children running around, “Who wants to play the sneaky, creepy, quiet game?” 

Various shouts of expressed interest to play come from all the children. TJ wears a wide smile as he places his index finger over his mouth. All the kids quiet down and TJ invents a new game for everyone to play, one that just so happens to allow Cyrus to comfortably snooze in the corner of the room. 

End Notes: Hope you liked it anon! I hope it was incredible enough for you ;) 

My new one shot tag list! 

|| @andi-shackk || @duderrific || @human-shitpost || @cyrushgoodman || @castle-byers-all-friends-welcome || @the-greatt-perhaps || @stupidlambforever || @dont-judge-me-im-a-fangirl || @gusandimack || @tjhasacrushgoodman || @1302dillywomps || @cheesystars || @i-am-beyoutiful || @koimy || @phinallyjackie || @angelstr343 || @you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus || @back-to-this || @spookytyrus || @smol28louis || @tyrusmagocious || @editscenes || @happy-pinkpanda || @tj-goodman-bittersweet-boy || @idk-i-stan-things || @lisastae || @wizard-dragontamer || @thinkingabouttyrus || @spacejellyyfish || @traderjoesmitten || @hopeandbelieve5 || @avatarrey42 || @shipperstories || @rbf-lesbian || @itsgalaxy29 || @cxrus-kippen || @janky-snorpion ||

If you would like to be tagged in future one shots let me know! Same foes for anyone wanting to be removed from the list :) 

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Chapter 13: Two Months Slip By 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of abuse and neglect, blood (minor), Dave has a lot of scars on his arms that are not from self harm but i wanna warn ppl anyway, substance (alcohol) abuse, (drunken) mentions of war and death, description of Alternian bigotry; Illustrated 

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Slowly, uncomfortably, with the grace of a cat forcing itself into a too-small box, routine settled in. Time passed.

The routine was simple enough: Five out of seven days of the week, Dirk, Rose, and Rachel would be away most of the day. Dirk would drive Rose to school and drop Rachel off…somewhere; no one but Rachel herself seemed to know what Rachel actually did in terms of a job. Rose, acting on Roxy’s advice, gave Dave a bit more space, which he mostly used to continue holing himself away. Still, he began showing up and joining the rest of the family for dinner, most nights, albeit saying very little. After school, Rose would talk with Kanaya. Karkat usually tried to spend time with Dave during the day when the rest of the family was absent, sometimes with Kanaya tagging along.

Dirk and Rose switched between dealing with dinner, and often Dirk would just pick something up on the way home. One night, somehow, the conversation drifted to the invasion. Rachel, hitting the wine a bit heavy, had started talking about The Good Old Days, making both the trolls visibly uncomfortable, but Rose was too curious to tell her to stop, and Dirk could rarely bring himself to be harsh with his mother when she got like this. She was lonely, he knew, and it was hard to hold it against her. Even when she started talking about Derek.

“He wasn’t always such a…he wasn’t always so bad,” Mom cut in. “I mean, he was always pretty intense, yeah, but he was, he was good once, he could be sweet and he cared, and…”

“Okay, sure,” Rose said, the disbelief in his voice matching Dirk’s own private thoughts on the matter. “I believe that about as much as I believe you used to be considered frightening.”

“More ’n frightening, Rosie,” said Mom, with a grin. “I was a fucking terror. Used to — they used to all gossip, ‘bout that Rachel Lalonde, how she’d kill you before you even knew what hit ya, just, bam, dead!  That was my job, picking ‘em off from a distance, and I’d sometimes have ‘em so scared that all you could see of ‘em was the big horns pokin’ out behind whatever cover they could find.”

Karkat gulped. Mom sighed and leaned back, swirling her glass. “Ramona had her own way of dealing with ‘em, but she scares just about everyone, enemy or not, and of course Derek’d be leading the charge for everyone fighting up close, with Benji always right on his heels.”

Dave coughed. Dirk flicked his eyes over, but Dave quickly recovered after taking a sip of apple juice.

“We had a system,” Mom went on. “Me and Ramona and Derek were young, but everyone we’d managed to get together in that mall trusted us to take charge, because we were good at it, and we only had a few people die during that whole six years. We were quite the little oddball family, we were…”  Mom chuckled humorously, looking at the dark red wine in her glass with a heaviness in her eyes. “Would y’look at me,” she said, “nostalgic over a damn war.”

Dave shifted again.

“Why?” Karkat said, breaking through his own obvious discomfort at the topic. “It sounded like the fighting was fucking awful!”

“It was,” Rachel sighed. “But…but we were a family, the four of us.” She snorted slightly. “Well, five if you count Ben, I guess. We all lost our parents, although I never did get the story behind what happened to the Strider boys’ folks, they never talked about it, but. We were all kids — well, Ramona was more of an adult, and she already had Roxy, but still — we, we all had each other, and we were doing okay, even if it was a war. And then…and then, and then, just.” She took a sip of her wine. “Then poor Dave died, and with him gone, everything fell apart…”

“Um,” said Kanaya.

“Wait, what?” said Karkat.

“Okay, Mom,” Dirk said, “I think you’ve probably had enough wine for tonight.”

Rose was about to add her own comment, when Dave spoke up. “She isn’t talking about me,” he said, softly. Mom shook her head.

“Nooo, not you, baby,” she said. “Derek’s li’l bro, he was named Dave. We named you after him.” She blinked, then looked at Dave. “You know about him?” she said. Dave nodded.

“B-uh, I mean Br-fuck, Dad talked about him sometimes when he was drunk, yeah,” Dave said. Dirk narrowed his eyes. Something about the way he stumbled across that sentence felt like he wasn’t getting the full story, but for now Dirk let it slide. Roxy’d said to be patient, so he’d wait for the rest to come out when Dave was ready.

Instead, he turned to Mom. “We have an uncle?”

“Had,” she said, rubbing at one eye as though fighting back tears. “Had, sweetheart. I never - I don’t talk about him, I know, I’m sorry, I shoulda mentioned him before…he was…he was such a good kid, he didn’t deserve what happened to him at all, and he died and…ugh.”

She took another long sip of wine. “When I was about three months pregnant with you two,” she said, gesturing at Dave and Rose, “s’ when it happened. And…and poor Derek, he was never the same after, he wouldn’t let me in anymore, and, and I don’t know what I did wrong, nevermind if he loved me or not, I couldn’t even get through to him as a friend afterward. And when you two were born, and one of you was a boy, I thought, I, well, might as well name one after Dave, maybe help save his memory? Maybe it was a bad idea, Derek went real quiet when I suggested it, I don’t know…”

“What the fuck is an uncle,” Karkat whispered to Kanaya, a bit too loud. Dave snorted quietly.

Rose tapped her fingers gently against her leg. “Why haven’t you mentioned him to us before now?”

“I don’t like thinking about him, honey,” Mom whined. “It makes me — it’s so sad, he was such a— he was such a good friend, and he did so much to help us all out in the mall, and he didn’t, he didn’t deserve what happened to him at all.” She was actively weeping, now, tears cutting messy trails through her makeup and landing in her wine glass.

“I really think you’ve had enough to drink, Mom,” Dirk said, as gentle as he could manage.

“There’s not enough booze in the world to drown all my sorrows, hun,” was her reply.

“And now you know what I mean when I say I’m all Bro’s got,” Dave said.

He’d just finished answering some questions Karkat had had regarding the ‘uncle,’ Dave’s namesake. Rachel’s story had been…hard to follow. Karkat still felt pretty fucking strongly that Strider didn’t deserve Dave by a long shot, but he guessed he could kind of understand why Dave felt like he had to stay. It was a shitty reason, sure, but guilt was a bitch like that.

“I still think it’s a pretty dumb thing to say,” Karkat grumbled, “and you really don’t fucking owe anything to some asshole who got himself killed before you were born, but whatever, sure, fine, you’ve got some weird obligation because family. He’s got that other guy, though, doesn’t he?”

Dave snickered, catching Karkat by surprise. “Yeah, I can’t believe his full name’s fucking— uh, shit, nevermind, forget I said anything,” he said, hurriedly.

“No, what? Where were you going with that?”

“Nowhere, man, it was stupid, don’t worry about it. C’mon, man, lemme have some fuckin’ secrets. Fuck knows you’re private as hell, you don’t get to read my diary and keep yours under lock in Fort goddamned Knox. Gotta at least let me catch a peek if you wanna know anything else.”

“Fine,” Karkat said, sitting down cross-legged with a grunt. They were in Karkat’s room, Dave laying on the floor with his legs awkwardly propped up on the bed. He looked fucking ridiculous, especially when he tried to twist to look at Karkat.

“What?”

“Fine, as in fair trade you fucking imbecile,” said Karkat. “Go on, ask me a question from my weird human diary, whatever the fuck that is. Go on, hit me.”

(No, pump biscuit, this was not a pale thing, shut up. It was some sort of weird human diary swapping ritual, or something. Nothing pale about it. Besides, Dave had sort of revealed that whole thing about getting caught with his phone a while before, and Karkat still felt sort of weird about the one-sidedness.)

“Well, uh…shit, okay, been wondering this for a while. I know you’re like, a space refugee and shit, but I don’t really get why, so. There’s my question, I guess, why’d you come to Earth?”

Karkat took a deep breath. Okay, he should’ve seen that coming. He could probably back out, right? He could just say that wasn’t something he wanted to talk about?

Except, Dave had opened up to him before, and it was obvious he wouldn’t open up to anyone else. And…Okay, yeah, maybe he did have a very slight pale crush, and if Dave was so determined to pale flirt with him, then so be it.

He took a long, thoughtful pause, before finally asking, “How much do you actually know about the hemospectrum?”

Dave tipped his head. “Are you leadin’ up to something, or are you tryin’ to change the subject? Cuz if you don’t wanna answer, man, you can just fuckin’ say so—“

“Dave, if you really haven’t realized by now that if I wanted you to stop asking, I would have told you to shove it up your waste chute, then you haven’t been paying attention. Trust me, I’m asking because it’s relevant.”

“A’ight.” Dave shifted. “Uh, hemospectrum, lemme think…it sure is a thing that fuckin’ exists.” Karkat groaned. “I know it’s about your blood, right?” Dave continued. “How it’s all in weird colors and some of y’all are really weird about it?”

“It’s not just a ‘weird thing,’ you culturally insensitive ignoramus,” Karkat said gently. “It’s everything on our planet. Your blood color has everything to do with who you can be, not to mention how long you’ll live and what you’re capable of. Different colors tend to have different abilities, psychic powers and so on, and the higher on the hemospectrum you are, the longer you’ll live and the better off you are in society. At the bottom are rust bloods, and at the top are the super rare fuschia bloods, who compete for the position of Emperor or Empress. Usually Empress, honestly. I’ve never heard of us having an Emperor.”

“Okay, and?”

“And under the old Condesce, culling was really common and the spectrum was super harshly fucking enforced. Highbloods could kill lowbloods with no punishment, and anyone who was deemed too weak could just be taken out, end of discussion. And then the new Empress took over, and started making changes. They’ve been implemented slowly, which is probably good, but it’s clear she was always intending on moving this way. No more culling, highbloods have to treat lowbloods with more respect, those who are better off should try to help those who need it, and so on and so forth.”

“That…that sounds pretty decent,” Dave said. “So, wait, then, if the new head honcho’s doin’ tryin’ to set things right, why are so many trolls running away from Alternia?”

“Because a lot of the highbloods there are really not fucking happy about these new changes.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah. They’re taking things into their own hands, claiming the Empress is weak and seeking out ‘cull-bait’ themselves. The Empress is doing everything she can to stop them, but it’s a really big fucking planet, and there’s a lot of highbloods and even some midbloods who are doing this shit. She hasn’t been able to catch all of them. And even the ones who aren’t actively hunting lowbloods and cullbait, they’re just as awful to those people as they’ve always been. You have to understand, Dave,” Karkat said, his eyes serious, “highbloods live a really long fucking time. A ton of these bastards have been around way longer than the oldest lowblood, and they’re not willing to change. So, yeah, Alternia’s been getting better, but at the same time it’s also gotten a lot worse, because it’s so dangerous and so many other people in power besides the Empress just don’t care enough to enforce any of her reforms. She’s doing all she can, but it’s too dangerous.”

Dave was silent a long moment. “So…where do you fit into all that mess?” he asked. “Are you a, uh, a rustblood?”

Karkat snorted. “Wouldn’t that be nice,” he grumbled. “I’m…Look, this doesn’t leave this room, right? It’s just between us?”

“Shit, yeah, man,” Dave said. “I figured that went without saying. I mean, this conversation’s gotten absurdly fucking personal, and you didn’t go blab my fuckin’ sob story about Bro breakin’ my phone to anyone, so I figured we had a kinda understanding about this shit anyway? But yeah, sure, my lips are sealed.”

“Okay,” Karkat said. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and tried his best to steel his nerves. “I’m a mutant, Dave.” Dave tilted his head, but said nothing, waiting for a better explanation. “I’m not on the hemospectrum. My blood’s the same color as you humans’, apparently, which was fucking surreal to find out about.” Dave nodded, started to say something, then thought better of it, and let Karkat continue. “I’m not supposed to fucking exist. I’m the most pathetic of cullbait out there, might as well have a ‘Kill Me’ sign flashing over my head in giant, flashing neon letters for all to see.

“And what’s worse is my eyes are starting to change. Like, you thought I was a rustblood, and for now I can still hide as one, but eventually they’re going to be bright ass red, same as yours, and when that happens I’m royally fucked. I’ve been hiding basically my entire life, sitting in my hive practicing hiding whenever anyone looking to be in a particularly bad mood came by, because for all my bluster about being a big tough guy, the fact is I’m not much of a fighter. Not when I’m up against foes five times my sides with optional chucklevoodoos or mind control. Hiding’s the only chance I had, and…and in the end, that wasn’t enough, because some asshole in my neighborhood tipped off our local cullbait hunters that there was a hemoanon in the area, and they were sniffing around and getting too close to my hive, and I had to tuck my tail firmly between my legs and retreat, snivvelling and grovelling, to Earth, because all my friends had already come here and they couldn’t protect me.”

“Holy shit,” Dave said softly. “Dude, holy shit.”

“And the worst part,” Karkat said, “The worst part is that as much as I hated always having to hide and how cruel all the people there were, I…I miss it? I mean, it was awful, I know that, I know that Earth’s an objectively better place and I’m way safer here even if I did get grubnapped by a terrorist, but —“

“But it was home,” Dave said.

“Yeah. That’s a weird word for it, but yeah.”

Dave shifted a little closer, not touching Karkat at all but now sitting upright next to him. Silence filled the space for a long moment.

At long last, he said, “We really are just two assholes in the same sinking ship, aren’t we? Got our leaky-ass bowls and empty cans out, scooping and bailing away, but this shitty boat’s goin’ nowhere but down, and I ain’t brought my floaties.”

Karkat snorted. “You really do have some bizarre ramble for every occasion, don’t you?”

Dave grinned.

For all her disdain over the alien who seemed to know her brother better than she did, Rose would concede one good thing about this whole messy process of familial integration: Kanaya was a fascinating conversation partner. She had a lot to say about her job, about her own life on Alternia, and in particular about Aunt Ramona’s books. Rose took to speaking to Kanaya on a fairly regular basis, often settling in to do so as soon as she got home from school (homework could wait until later; she had a guest, after all!).

“—and I am still adjusting to some of the differences between our rainbow drinkers and your vampires,” said Kanaya one day, while they discussed one of Aunt Ramona’s books which Kanaya had particularly enjoyed. “Particularly the difficulty with daylight, as on our world, it’s quite the opposite. Rainbow drinkers are said to be very fond of daylight, and indeed to be quite luminescent!”

“I suppose their being diurnal makes sense, since trolls are nocturnal,” Rose commented, “but, luminescent, really? I suppose they’d have to hunt in the day in order to not be spotted by prey if they’re literally glowing.”

“Well, some stories show them being able to turn it off,” said Kanaya. “Still, the occasional bout of confusion aside, I did really enjoy Fangs for the Memories. I was a bit uncertain, at first, with how Sinestra was being a bit manipulative to keep Alicia doing her job, but it did come out to a very fitting conclusion, I thought.”

“Vampires being manipulative is fairly standard fare in literature concerning them,” said Rose. “They have some aspects of their portrayal in common with the Fair Folk, although they’re hardly a creature you’d expect to see in such places as those inhabited by the Lords and the Ladies.”

“I have noticed that,” said Kanaya. “It seems we have tricksters in common, but such beings seem to be more common in your folklore, whereas on Alternia those who win by wit rather than by skill and natural power and wisdom tend to be geared more toward children,” she said with a wince. “They’re generally regarded as escapist fiction, but it seems you humans love it at all ages.”

“Well, it’s only natural for a species that survived on wits to have such a fondness for the witty,” Rose said.

“I’m glad of it,” said Kanaya. “Although I am a bit confused about how Alicia supposedly outwitted Sinestra just by hiding within her own home? The door wasn’t even locked, and the book mentioned many times how Sinestra is very physically strong, and yet she couldn’t come inside?”

“She wasn’t invited,” Rose said. “That’s another bit of folklore that vampires share with the Fair Folk. It ultimately boils down to both being very closely adherent to following rules, which means that a vampire cannot enter a building they have not been invited into. There are of course dozens of loopholes they can use, but none were available to Sinestra, and so she was forced to wait out in the rain, until she sincerely apologized for that whole mess with the werewolf. Quite a fair bit of retribution, I’d say, as well as a nice shifting of the power dynamics.”

“That’s an odd weakness to have.”

“Oh, there’s all sorts of mythology we have about inviting things in,” said Rose. “Vampires, fairies, the devil. In more xenophobic tales, you have the dangers of offering hospitality to dark forces we cannot understand, trying only to be kind, and being rewarded with death or worse for our foolishness. Yet, to add confusion, other stories warn against failing to offer hospitality, and being punished for crossing beings which could so easily destroy us. Still others caution against taking shelter under the wing, sometimes literally, of a being that could destroy us. “Will you walk into my parlor,” said the spider to the fly,’ and all that.”

“That sounds like a fantastic way for the fly to get itself eaten alive,” said Kanaya.

“Too right,” said Rose, “And the fly knows it. But the spider is charming, he acts sweet and offers her flattery and gifts, and she is drawn in…and inevitably eaten. Charmingly dark little poem, that one.”

“I fear I can relate to the poor fly,” Kanaya winced. “I’ve had my fair share of mistakes in that regard…Still, what an odd thing to have so many stories based on.”

“What can I say? We’re a curious lot,” Rose said.

“Curious?”

Rose scooted slightly closer to Kanaya, and winked gently as she added, “There’s something so deeply intriguing to the thought of inviting some strange, mysterious being from worlds unknown into your home. The danger only makes it more…exciting.”

Kanaya blushed slightly, and gulped. “Yes, well,” she said, smoothing the wrinkles on her skirt, “I suppose, that’s, um…Hm. Didn’t you just finish telling me a human story about how flattery is to be regarded with caution? I’m not the one in a stranger’s house, here.”

Rose chuckled. “‘Sweet creature,’” she quoted, “‘You’re witty and you’re wise!’ And just as dangerous to me as I might be to you, I would think. You may have come into my parlor, but it’s still we who have asked in a mysterious stranger from worlds unknown. And a very lovely one, no less.”

“I don’t know whether to be charmed or terrified,” said Kanaya, coy.

“I’d say —“ Something crashed in the basement, interrupting Rose and bringing a scowl to her face. “God dammit, Dirk,” she muttered. “We may have to finish this tomorrow, I’m afraid. I need to make sure my dear brother hasn’t blown one of his robots and/or himself to smithereens.”

“Oh, dear,” said Kanaya. “Best of luck, then. I’d be glad to chat again any time, so long as you promise not to trap me in any spider’s web,” she said with a smile.

Rose smiled back and winked.

It was a little over halfway through May, Dirk was driving himself and Rose home from school on what was his last day of the semester (Rose still had another week), and he was fucking exhausted. Three hour finals were an absolutely monstrous concept. As soon as he got home, he was going to collapse on his bed downstairs and sleep like the fucking dead.

That plan was, to his irritation, derailed as they pulled up on the gravel driveway to the sight of Dave on the roof. He was looking at Karkat, who was standing below and shouting up at him. Kanaya was standing near Karkat, with her head cradled in one hand.

“Just do that fucking bullshit flicker thing already!”

“Not with my — ow, Jesus, you fucking furball, I’m trying to — my arms are full of angry animal here, Karkat, I’m not going to risk breaking my fucking LEGS, Jesus Christ he fucking bit me, ow ow ow, fuck!” Dave shouted back. “Just — motherfuck, ow ow ow, just go dig a goddamned ladder out of the garage or something! Preferably before Dirk getsssssshit he’s home, fuck, fuck, fuck ow goddamned cat —!!”

Dirk, halfway out the car door, exchanged an exhausted look with Rose. She shot him a look of mixed amusement and sympathy.

Dirk sighed and closed the car door behind him, Rose following close behind as he strode toward the trolls. He gestured up at Dave, his eyebrow crooked in a question.

“Jaspers apparently got himself trapped on the roof,” Kanaya explained, as Karkat continued shouting at Dave, who had gone quiet. “Dave somehow got himself onto the roof to rescue him, except apparently Dave is now also trapped up there.”

“He says he can’t do the fucking flickery teleport thing —“

“Flashstep,” Dirk said, interrupting Karkat.

“Whatever, fine. He can’t flashstep because the cat keeps attacking him?” Karkat said, incredulously. The statement was highlighted by another yelp from Dave.

“Makes sense,” Dirk said. “It’s not really teleporting, just moving really fast. You gotta be really careful about how you do it between different elevations, and it’s asking for trouble to attempt a jump from that height with both hands full. Especially if what you’re holding is being really distracting.”

“Should we get the ladder out, then?” Rose commented dryly. “I’m sure you could handle it, but you are so tired, after all.”

Dirk didn’t let himself react to the barbed comment. “I can handle it,” he said. There was a tree near the wall by Dave; it was an easy matter to use it and the wall to bounce up to the roof. Three quick flashsteps and he was next to his brother, who reacted with a jolt.

There was blood visible dripping down his hands and seeping through his shirt sleeves. Cat really had done a number on him, then. Dirk sighed, too tired to fully register the way the soft breath made Dave stiffen, and took the cat from him. Jaspers, upon realizing he was no longer being held by Dave, but instead a human he considered more trustworthy, settled down and let Dirk carefully shift him to his shoulder.

“Meet me in the kitchen,” Dirk said, before carefully flashstepping down the same way he’d gotten up. Back on the ground, he handed the cat off to his sister, who cradled the animal, stroking his fur soothingly. Dave, after a moment’s hesitation, turned around, stepped backward off the roof (eliciting a shocked gasp from Kanaya and a worried yelp from Karkat), easily caught the windowsill leading into his own room on the way down, and pulled himself in.

Dirk hurried into the house, making a beeline for the hall bathroom. He’d need the first aid kit, for sure; Dave’s arms had gotten pretty beat up, from the look of things. He arrived in the kitchen just as Dave came silently down the stairs. Dave was fidgeting, shifting his weight from foot to foot and clenching and unclenching his hands.

“I never left the house,” he said, quietly. “I’m—I’m sorry for being up there, but I didn’t leave the house, I swear, I got up there from my window, and, the cat wouldn’t stop meowing and I felt bad for him, and —“

“Good,” said Dirk, quietly, “I’m glad you never left the house. That’s not really important right now, though. Let me see your arms.”

“…Am I in trouble?”

“For trying to get the cat off the roof? Of course not,” Dirk said. “Give me your arm, though. Gotta get it cleaned off. Cat scratches have a nasty tendency of getting infected.”

“Oh,” said Dave, “fan-fucking-tastic.” He still hesitated a long moment before holding his right arm out; Dirk took him by the wrist and gently pulled him toward the sink (and couldn’t help but notice the white scars crisscrossing his skin underneath the fresh wounds, nor could he ignore how worryingly thin Dave’s arm seemed. Dirk had to take a deep breath to force down the rush of anger toward their father to keep focused on the task at hand). He ran a cloth under the water for a moment, then carefully wiped the blood away from Dave’s wounds. They weren’t as bad as they’d looked on the roof, but Jaspers had definitely done a number on Dave. As gently as he could manage, Dirk toweled off Dave’s arm, and reached for the bottle of disinfectant.

“This is gonna sting a little,” Dirk murmured, dabbing the disinfectant on one of the wounds. Dave nearly jerked his arm out of Dirk’s grasp. “Sorry. I’ll be fast,” Dirk promised, and Dave nodded numbly.  Cleaning finally done, Dirk started bandaging each scratch (and the one bite on Dave’s wrist).

“Really keep an eye on that one,” he said, gesturing at the bite. “Bites are even worse when it comes to cats, you can’t be too careful.”

Dave nodded mutely. Dirk was vaguely aware that the others had come in, and that Karkat watching him with an odd expression. He paid the troll no mind.

Dirk inspected Dave’s arm one last time, and, satisfied, said, “Other one,” releasing Dave’s wrist.

Dave hesitated even longer this time, and his hand shook a little as he offered it. When Dirk grabbed his left wrist, Dave flinched away hard.

“Hey, you okay?” Dirk asked, concerned.

“Y-yeah,” Dave mumbled. “Sorry, it’s, uh, reflex.” He offered his arm again, and Dirk tried holding it a little higher up this time.

As he was cleaning off and bandaging the wounds, Dirk noticed a particularly bizarre looking scar running up Dave’s left wrist; it had marks like the wound had been stitched shut, but they were messy, haphazard, and the skin all around it looked…off. Pinched and warped in a way that looked uncomfortable. Dirk nodded his head toward it.

“The hell happened with that?” he asked.

“Um,” Dave mumbled, “Got caught off guard once, and my hand got cut, and, uh. I wouldn’t stop bitching about it, ‘cuz I was worried about losing my drawin’ hand, an’ shit, so Br- fuck, uh, Dad called in a buddy of his who stitched it up. It took a really long time to heal, even stitched up, and, uh.” He shrugged. “I still can’t use it much. Wound up fucking it up worse with stitches, so good job on me for complaining, there’s a self goddamn fulfilling prophecy for you. Can’t hold a fuckin’ pencil with it anymore, or anything smaller’n a sword hilt, really.”

Dirk paused. “…Shit,” he said softly. Then, louder, “Well, when you’re off house arrest, I can talk to Mom about it. There’s no guarantee, but I’d imagine that might be fixable with surgery. Once we can get you into a doctor, it’s worth a shot.”

“….You think so?”

“It’s possible.” He put on the last bandage, then made another once-over. “Alright, that’s the last of them,” he said. “Again, keep an extra eye on the bite, infected cat bites are not something you wanna ignore.”

“……Got it,” Dave said, softly, rubbing at his wrist. “Can I…”

“You can head upstairs if you want. I just wanted to make sure the scratches got cleaned.”

“Thanks,” Dave muttered, and darted upstairs. Karkat, after a long, hard look at Dirk, followed after.

Dave settled into his room after the cat incident, more confused than ever. He’d…really been expecting that to be it. Dirk’s expression taking Jaspers down from the roof had been the one Dave had long since learned to recognize on Bro as the ‘you’re about to get your fucking ass kicked’ face. When he was pissed enough to actually look the slightest bit pissed, that’s when Dave knew he’d crossed the last line, but.

Dirk had said he’d done nothing wrong.

He’d been gentle. What the fuck.

Dave sat on his bed and stared at his arms. He’d been assuming he’d be taking care of the scratches on his own, same as he’d always dealt with his own wounds, that he’d have to figure out where the first aid kit was kept in this house without bleeding everywhere or worst case scenario make do with toilet paper. He’d not been expecting Dirk to call him downstairs not to be punished, but to patch the wounds up.

What the fuck.

Maybe no one here was going to hurt him. Even if he fucked up.

No, that was too optimistic, probably. It was probably just because he hadn’t actually broken any rules. Couldn’t let wishful thinking take him on too many flights of fantasy, or he’d wind up all kinds of fucked. Be off in fuckin’ Narnia while the Witch of the West is happily taking over the big green city, except the city would be Dave’s ass and ‘taking over’ would mean ‘beating the shit out of’.

Still, it was….weird.

(Despite his best efforts to keep himself realistic, a tiny, rebellious spark of hope flared up, warmer than anything he’d felt in a long time.)

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x21 recap

(Aka the one where Sandstorm takes the NYO)

So it’s been like five days and I’m still screaming internally over how FREAKIN AMAZEBALLS this episode was. Tbh if I didn’t have to make sure I survive to see the finale, I probably would have died already. Like seriously, this show is 100% back to its old self, and with a VENGEANCE. Thank god for a guaranteed season three...

Anyhow, more screaming below the cut. 

Aaaahhh nooo my babies, please stop, I mean I know siblings are meant to fight but not like this!! And ughhhh he's really actually trying with the whole killing her thing but tbh I'm kinda proud that Jane still wins? Our girl is the Warrior Queen, no one can defeat her. Not even when she’s pulling her punches like she is now. And ugh she knocks him out just as the detail gets in there-- you seriously need to work on your response time, dudes, though I guess it's good you weren't any earlier or you would have probably shot Roman which would have been completely unacceptable. But ugh he's regained all his memories from this fight, and now knows everything she's done... ughhhhh my baby boy please just think things through, because she really truly loooooves youuuuu. I swear. Also wow his biceps look amazing in this shirt? Ugh but then Jane comes to see him in the now-spartan cell (I guess all his stuff went with him to the safehouse) and ugh she’s all cautious and worried and ughhhhh he literally hates her and no matter what she says he just thinks it's more lies-- and tbh I feel like between this and the whole Emma thing with Weller, Jane is going to be 100% honest for the rest of her life bc she's already experienced too much pain due to lies. But ughhh I don't think I'll ever get over how much Luke just nails Roman's anger and pain??? The prowly way he walks, the deadness in his eyes as he tells her that the more he remembers, the more he hates her?? And then just turns his back on her and ughhhhhh my poor babieeeeesss let me hug you bothhhhhhh. Surely Roman must think about things and realise she was genuine, though? Although I guess he feels kinda like Weller did when it was revealed Jane wasn't Taylor; that just because part of it was a lie, everything must have been. And ughhh my baby is so heartbroken and walks out into the corridor and ugh Weller is right there waiting for her. I bet he escorted her down there in the first place and ugh man I wish we'd gotten to see when he first got there and was briefed on what happened? Like how terrifying must it have been for him to get that call, to think that Jane had nearly been killed by the man that HE had sent home with her? And at the same time he would be devastated for her bc I bet she was literally in shock as she robotically explained what happened and he could already see how much this was going to destroy her. And so when she comes out, he's still hovering there, waiting-- like I guarantee he was ready to go in and pull her out if it all sounded like it was getting too much. And now he stares at her with his big sad eyes and tells her how sorry he is, and then she tells him it's his and Nas' fault, and for a moment he looks like he wants to argue, but he also understands that she needs somewhere to place some of her blame (because god knows she's already shouldering enough of it herself) and so he doesn't try to defend himself, bc he knows she's not wrong. If she needs to blame him, he'll let her. He’ll help her in any way he can. But when her voice breaks as she insists that Roman could still be useful, he knows he has to be tough, and tells her that Roman's dose is wearing off and he's reverting to who he was. He needs Jane to accept that now, before her hope slowly kills her. But ugh it must be slowly killing HIM to see her upset like that and yet not reach for her?? I feel like he was seriously about to do just that when his phone buzzed about Pellington. Ugh, they never get a damn moment alone...

Oohh Zapata has rocked up in the lab, and uh-oh, I bet she's about to embark on her little crusade to break Parker by breaking the rules. And then ooh Reade's there, awkwardly ducking in to say hi since they already saw him going past and he couldn't very well ignore them haha. And Patterson's so happy to see him and so supportive and then he tells them that he put in for a transfer??? What???? And oh god Zapata's face just drops and ugh it's clear he didn't mention this at all last night and nooooo all she asks is how long he'll be at the new position and the answer is FOREVER and ughhhhh she just looks like she just got sucker punched and nooooo Reade you can't gooo! We need the dream team together!!! 

Aaaahhhh Pellington is shutting down Jane's case (again), both the tattoos and Sandstorm-- and Weller looks like he's barely keeping himself in check, which explains why he looks to Jane to steady him, and okay firstly I love that she's actually in here too?? Like I thought this was going to be a meeting just between the Big Boys, but lbr Weller and Jane are kind of a package deal again nowadays haha. And then Pellington says they're going to put a public face to Sandstorm-- Shepherd, AND Roman. Which means that literally every law enforcement officer in the country will be hunting them both. Shit. And he seems undecided about what he's going to do with Jane-- hold on, so, what? You're going to ignore all she's done for the team and turn your back on her? Maybe throw her in jail? And ugh she doesn't even seem to care about her own precarious fate, she just tries to convince him not to turn on Roman, and then she literally starts shouting at him, making Weller panic a little bit bc honey please don't piss off the man who could have you thrown behind bars with the wave of his hand-- but it's kinda lucky (and also unlucky) that she does, bc when she tells Pellington that Roman's regaining his memories, that actually changes his mind. Which is great in that Roman won't be one of the targets of Sandstorm... but terrible bc Pellington now wants him to go to the CIA for 'acceleration of his recall'. Yeah, we all know what that means. And then Pellington is outta there and ughhhh Jane literally begs Weller to help Roman and ughhhh he knows there's nothing they can do and he is hurting for his wifey and wow these guys are having a really bad start to the day aren’t they

And then Zapata gives them one bright spot--- they have leverage on Parker. Devon's pregnant. Wait actually pregnant tho, or did Zapata make it up and then trick the others so that Parker would believe them? I love that all three of them go into the interrogation room and tag team him (I'm very much ignoring Weller's contribution bc it only reminds me of the whole Allie situation ugh), and ughhh Parker tries to brush it off but Jane convinces him and he tells them about the Sandstorm warehouse, but will only give them the exact location once Devon is safely on a plane to London. I can't tell if he's playing them or not?? And they all know it could be a trap but they've gotta try anyway, so when he gives them the address, Weller and Jane take a bunch of FBI dudes, leaving Zapata to keep interrogating Parker. And ugh as much as I enjoyed the 'let’s split up bc you're the only one I trust' thing last week, I really love seeing them enter side by side, guns up and ready. And ooooh here's the structure that Sandstorm has been building-- is it a replica of the NYO, a la Ocean's 11, like I suggested in a past recap?? Ughhhh it is! God this must be so weird for them and aaaahhh they realise it's a training ground (close, guys, but that’s not all it is) and that they're about to take down the real NYO and aaaahhhhh their signal is being jammed so they can't warn anyone. And then just as they're about to pull out to get back to the NYO, a sniper starts taking out their guys. Weller takes him down though bc remember he's Mr Crack-Shot, and Jane notices a weird red X on the floor in the fake-gym. What does it meaaaaan? 

Meanwhile back at the NYO, a couple of Sandstorm guys have already snuck in disguised as technicians and are doing something nefarious with the power grid. Reminds me of Weller in the prison... Not so fun when the tables are turned, eh? Anyway Reade's with Dr Sun, asking her to clear him psychologically so he can take the transfer. And you know what, she actually seems pretty on the ball right now? "Needing help doesn't preclude you from helping others" like daaaamn that's some wisdom right there. And it's definitely true in my own experience-- you know how many doctors I've met who have mental, emotional, or social issues of their own yet still give their all to help others?? And then ugh when she says that he can go, but he'll still be Edgar Reade when he gets there. And wow I am actually impressed rn? This is a rollercoaster in of itself lol

Ugh Jeller are racing back to the NYO and frantically trying to call anyone inside to warn them but it's all still jammed. Which means the attack has already begun. Weller calls the NYPD to mobilise them for help but argh it may already be too late.  And ugh Pellington walks into the lab to demand all the info they have on Shepherd/Sandstorm and hahaha I love that Patterson's first response is to question whether Weller knows about it, despite Pellington being HIS boss and being able to do whatever he wants regardless of how Weller feels about it. Lbr tho man, literally everyone in the NYO would follow Weller over you if it came down to it. And Patterson is belatedly like 'oh yeah you're actually the boss-boss' and so she’s gonna put it all on a hard drive for him-- but tells him it would actually be quicker if she did the data migration she'd already been planning, and all it would mean is that her servers would be stuck in boot mode for 30mins while it was happening. But then their conversation gets derailed by an official emergency alert, and Patterson brings up footage of the bullpen to see active shooters attacking people. Pellington gives the order for evacuation, and then says he'll join the armed response team and take out the shooters. Wow, I think this is the first time I've actually felt genuine respect for you, sir. Nice. Instead of evacuating, Zapata goes straight for the lab, because of course she does. She knows that that's where Patterson will still be, and she won't leave her girl. And then she sees a glitch in the videofeed, realising that it might have been tampered with-- just as Pellington and the strike force get out into the bullpen, which is completely normal and shooter-free. Awkwaaaard. But because the evacuation protocol was initialised, all the external doors were unlocked, now allowing Sandstorm to come in. And ughhh now it really is a showdown-- Pellington and the FBI vs Shepherd and Sandstorm, and for a moment there's just a bunch of shouting about 'you surrender/no you surrender' then some dumb guy knocks over a coffee cup and all hell breaks loose and everyone is shooting and ughhhh Paterson and Zapata are stuck there watching and Zapata is about to run out to help but Patterson won't let her bc it's literal suicide, and so she does the only thing she can and seals in the Sandstorm peeps. Ughhh. Pellington is crawling for his gun, and the rest of his team are dead or wounded. Shepherd calls him by his first name and tells him that that didn't need to happen-- and okay did these two know each other or something?? Like there was the way he called her 'Major-General' and now her using his first name?? And ugh she demands his access code and I'm actually super impressed that he still won't give in, just tells her she's under arrest, and wow this dude actually has way bigger balls than I gave him credit for? Don't tell me I'm about to start liking him just before he dies?? And ughhhh Patterson and Zapata are still there, stuck watching, as Shepherd kills their agents one by one and ugh the tears running down their faces and ughhhhh on one hand I know that Pellington's refusal means the death of his agents, but still... he's protecting thousands (if not millions) of lives by preventing anyone getting access. I feel like Weller would have done the same, though it would have destroyed him. Though if Shepherd had threatened Jane... then I don't know. Maybe he would have given in. Glad we don't have to find out. And ugh Pellington tells them all that this is how they-- the good guys-- win. By staying strong. By sacrificing themselves for the greater good. And then ughhh Briana stands, and tells her she knows Weller's code, and honestly I can't blame her. She's saving her own life, but also everyone else in the room-- friends, workmates. And I don't think she has quite the understanding of just what Shepherd could do with access to Patterson's lab. Who can really know what they themselves would do when faced with that choice? But ughh I actually feel really sad for Pellington, he knows that they have just failed so many civilians and he tried his best and now he's about to die. Dammit, man, how dare you make me respect you right before you die??? I guess I should also apologise now for always assuming you could be a Sandstorm mole... my bad. And ughhhh Patterson and Zapata are feeling so helpless bc Weller's code overrides Patterson's and now Sandstorm has free access to everywhere-- and is heading right for them. And ughhh I love that they know, they already know that they can't win, that they are just heading for death, but they fight anyway-- Zapata's immediate response is to get guns and go down in a hail of bullets, because of course it is. Patterson fights back in another way-- starting the database migration to slow Shepherd down, utilising one of the only tools they have. And then together, they go to the armoury, even knowing  that one of Shepherd's teams is on their way there right now. Sidenote: screw you, Borden, for giving these guys a full blueprint of this place. You traitorous asshole.

Ughhh Jane's biting her nails and Weller confirms that Sandstorm has the NYO-- maybe even for Phase 2. But the NYO is Weller's kingdom, and he knows it better than anyone. He knows that there's a sub-basement access tunnel from previous construction. He and Jane are gonna save their people or die trying. 

Well, Patterson's delaying tactic has worked, pissing Shepherd off. Also dude, it's 5% complete when she arrives, and Patterson said earlier that it would take about 30mins total to complete. To get to 5% would have taken about a minute and a half, which means that's how close behind Patterson and Zapata Shepherd was. Aaaargh. And now Parker's there, saying that 'Remi' and Weller took Devon to a blacksite. Mmmhmmm, way to cover your butt, Mr Slimy. And ugh Shepherd expected Weller and Jane to be there-- what if they had been?? What was her plan for them?? Nothing good, I’m sure. But haha he says that at least now they won't be a problem. Think again, bucko! Meanwhile Patterson's being problematic enough on her own. I'm so proud. But wait they have targets in four timezones?? What and where??? And so they're about to hunt her down (ugh stay away from my baby) when Parker finds Roman on the screen instead. Ugh, stay away from my other baby!  

Ugh my girls in the armoury with their vests and guns makes me simultaneously so proud and also want to sob. My babies are making their stand. And then the door opens and they nearly shoot the intruder-- but it's just Reade, here to stand with them and defend their home. Patterson explains that Shepherd's after the lab, realising that her computers have access to the Homeland Security servers. Which is very, very bad, for reasons I don't entirely understand but I'll take her word for it. And so she proposes going to the server room so she can try to divert auxiliary power and fry her computers before the migration completes, thus locking Shepherd out. Ugh, the sacrifices my baby is willing to make... those computers are HER babies. And ugh her talking about the chances of it succeeding: "80%... 75%... closer to 60 if I'm being honest." and ughh why must even the humour in this show be heartbreaking? But she doesn't wait for permission; she just goes and the others follow. Tbh without Weller (or Jane, the unofficial next in line) there, Patterson is now the team leader, regardless of actual hierarchy. Lbr, the other two would follow her anywhere.

Idk where Weller found this fire-stick thing but I'm happy he has it. They're breaking into the sub-basement now, and ughhh Jane is so worried about the team and what might have happened to them, and she's beating herself up about lying to Roman and causing him to be in that cell right now, completely vulnerable if Shepherd decides to punish him for his betrayal of her. And Weller tells her that she had to lie, because she knew what he was and was scared of what he'd do if he learned the truth. And he looks up at her as he says it, and hmmm this is interesting, bc Jane only ever lied to Roman bc Weller and Nas made her. She was going to tell him the truth. Now who else has she lied to recently that she only did it bc she was afraid? Ah yes. I remember. Well, good to know that Weller understands her choices and is making it clear to her that he forgives her for them. He needs her to hear it, because he knows that one or both of them could be dead within minutes. Ughhhh. And she worries that if Roman's turning back into Old Roman, then will the same happen to her? Will she turn back into Remi (her greatest fear?) and ugh he promises her that it won't happen and that they'll do everything they can to save Roman along with the others and ughhhh. They've broken into the sub-basement-- ew, it reminds me of Oscar's grimy dungeon-- and then suddenly they spot four Sandstorm guys, and ugh they communicate with hand signals and basically pincer-manoeuvre the dudes and take them out in about two seconds because they're badasses. And that would be great, except the dudes were there guarding a shit-ton of explosives (that's the technical term). Well I guess we know where some of that HMX went? And aaahhh Sandstorm is gonna take down the whole building. Well, shit.

Aaaahhh my lil warrior babies are defending their home by destroying their own servers from within, and ugh the lives of SO MANY people literally rest on their shoulders (specifically Patterson's) rn?? Like holy shit if she doesn't get a message through to the DHS, the other sites will have zero warning of the attacks about to take place. Also ugh I've mentioned before how Patterson is literally one of the most powerful people in the FBI, but this proves it-- with her computers, she possesses access to several other major agencies. Literally if she wanted to, she could cripple the entire country at any time. She could have done exactly what Shepherd is trying to do with just a couple of taps of her screen. And she's what, barely past thirty? Like okay I have a job where I have some small measure of power over life and death, but this kind of scale is HUGE. Patterson literally has the keys to the kingdom handed to her, and could be the world's biggest supervillain-- but instead she protects everyone to the best of her ability, even now, when it may very well lead to her death. No one will ever convince me that Agent Patterson of the New York Office of the FBI is not some kind of cult figure in the world of government agencies. I bet her name has even become a common term for absolutely owning something through skill and ingenuity: "I'm gonna pull a Patterson"/"I'm Patterson-ing this biatch". For real, Shepherd, you have no idea who you're up against...

Weller delicately disassembling the cover of the bomb detonator while Jane stands guard over him with a huge-ass gun is entirely my aesthetic. And then he explains how to disarm it-- I love that he knows this, our boy sure paid attention in class-- and when he tells her he'll need her to do it (because of his giant meat-paws, as Rich lovingly named them), she doesn't hesitate. And then ugh he talks her through it and I love that they're BOTH needed for this. Jane wouldn't have known what to do without him, and he couldn't have physically done it without her. They're two halves of a whole, the perfect partnership. And ugh I love that she trusts him to guide her and he trusts her to be able to do it. And ughhhh he compares it to playing Operation and she's all "Weller this is a terrible analogy I've never played that game" and he's all "c’mon honey you can do anything ilsym babe"* (*paraphrasing). No but actually he's so cute with how he reassures her, using humour to settle her, and ugh the little look she gives him like 'you're such a giant dork and god I love you for it'. But don't worry anyway Jane, I've never played Operation either, and I've assisted in actual operations without any issue. You got this.         

Aaand Shepherd's down with Roman. He's heard all the alarms-- I wonder what he thought was going on? I wonder if he was worried for Jane? But anyway he remembers everything, including Shepherd, and ugh she says that everything she's done she's done for love, and tbh that's true. Love of herself, and her own conviction that she is in the right and everyone else is wrong. Newsflash, lady. Pretty much every terrorist who ever lived thought they were the ones in the right. But ughhhh then she says one of the few things I will give her credit for being right about-- that Roman chose Jane over her. JANE, not Remi, because as she says, Remi is GONE. THANK YOU, psychopath lady. Remi ceased to exist the moment the zip coursed through her system, and lbr, that was likely what she intended all along. I don't know the particulars of how or why, but I firmly believe that by the time Phase 1 & 2 were being developed, Remi lost her faith in Sandstorm, and in herself. I'd like to think it had something to do with her surveillance of Weller, and I hope that someday we'll find out. But the fact remains that in the end, Remi was ready to give her life to the cause. Not to Shepherd's cause; to her own, which was to stop Shepherd and save not only her brother, but Kurt Weller, and the country itself. I strongly believe that if Asshole Oscar hadn't killed Markos, he would have been able to fulfill his side of her plan and tell her everything. Maybe if that had happened, though, Jane would have run off with him to stop Shepherd, and Weller and the team would have continued their lives without her ever being more than a blip in their existence. And regardless of all the bad that came along with her, I'm glad things happened the way they did. (Except the CIA part. Screw you, Keaton.) But anyway ughhhh Roman says he chose Jane bc she wasn't forcing him to choose. She gave him free will and agency, whereas Shepherd always tried to enforce her own agenda. You can see though from the fact that she offers for him to rejoin her, that she's desperate for that connection back, for someone she has a relationship with other than that of Commander and soldier. Family. Well guess what, lady, you could have had a loving family and lived a normal happy life, but instead you chose to be a mass murderer. Forgive me if I don't feel at all sorry for you, you human stain. 

Ughhh someone save me from Weller's whispered 'good, Jane' as she slowly pulls out the detonator pin. He can feel how tense she is (after all, she has both of their lives plus the lives of everyone in the building depending on the steadiness of her hands) and he reassures her, staying right there in front of her-- not crowding her, but reminding her that he's there with her-- and then ugh when she gets it out safely he gives her this approving grin and she lets out this huge breath and rests her head against the block of explosives and ugh these two are literally the cutest. Supportive hubby Weller is one of my fave Wellers tbh. But there's no time to rest-- he's certain there's more bombs, and Jane remembers the red X from the Sandstorm training replica. And ugh they don't even hesitate before throwing themselves straight back into danger to protect everyone and ugh I love them so much

I love how much it upsets Shepherd when she discovers that the sub-basement bomb is now offline. Take that, you evil cow! And then she sees Jane and Weller on the monitors, and it's like that's right biatch, you are being thwarted by your two former favourites. Not only will they never follow you, but they will beat you. And ugh she sends a team to kill them and Roman doesn't look at all comfortable with it. I wonder whether that's because he still loves his sister, or-- as has been suggested by others, including in @gypsyscarfwoman’s amazing fic-- that he feels like he owes a debt to Weller for what he did to Emma. Hopefully a bit of both?? 

Ughhhh back in the server room, Patterson knows that all her computers are now back online, and Zapata tells her to go ahead and surge the lab. And ughh she hesitates, and at first it seems like she's just having trouble facing the thought of killing her computers (her babies), and Reade impatiently tells her they'll get her new ones-- but that's not it. Surging the lab would effectively paint a target on their backs, bringing Sandstorm right to them. If she does it, she basically signs their death warrants. And if the bad guys come quickly, she may not get to complete the surge before they're all killed. And then ughhhhh just let me die bc Zapata looks at Reade and Reade looks at Zapata and then Reade tells Patterson that they'll buy her as much time as they can and Zapata looks at Patterson and gives her a little nod and tells her to start it and ughhhhhhh they know they're about to die and that was their goodbye to Patterson-- a 'we can't save ourselves but maybe we can help you save others' and ughhhhhh my baby manages not to break down and instead gets right down to it, further ruining Shepherd's day when she instantly recognises that Patterson is about to out-manoeuvre her. And ugh Parker's already leading a team their way as Reade and Zapata set up a barricade (Do you hear the people sing??) and ugh this might be their final minutes together and Zapata chooses to give him shit about ditching them for Quantico and basically telling him she does not at all approve haha. And ughhh even as she's giving him a hard time about it she's also reminding him what a good agent he is and ugh I love the love these two have for each otherrrrr

So Jane was right (as she so often is) and the other bomb is in the gym. I love their perfectly coordinated sweep of the room, and then Weller crouching to remove the outer cover of the bomb detonator for her while she checks behind the bomb for any sneaky baddies. Nice. And then he hands over the reins and moves to stand guard over her-- the stakes are higher on this one, since they're no longer in a secluded basement with the enemy team already dead. Right now, they're sitting ducks. Jane gets right to it, now a veteran at this, and Weller only glances over briefly to make sure she's going okay, confident that she can do it but ready to support her if she needs it. All is well-- until they hear the kill-team approaching and know that they're busted. Jane makes the split second decision, with Weller instantly following her orders as she tells him to go, to meet the bad dudes somewhere that is more even territory, tactically speaking, rather than as the proverbial fish in a barrel that they are now. And ugh right now she has her hand in the jaws of death and he's about to walk out into the same when he pauses and says her name, and for a moment they lock eyes and ughhhhh "Don't die."/"You too". And ugh that was so THEM? Like they each refuse to believe that this will be the last time they see each other, and they know that they'll both fight like hell to make sure it isn't, because they've barely even had a chance to start the life they're gonna have together and it sure ain't ending here. And then ugh Weller goes into Super Agent mode, taking out one of the Sandstorm dudes before they even know what hit them, then sprinting across the room and body-slamming two of them at once while shooting the other, only to grab one and use him as a shield before beating the crap out of another, then tackling another and wrestling his gun off of him just in time to kill the one who was about to kill Jane. And ugh poor Jane, she had to focus on steadily removing the detonator even as she could see everything that was happening, knowing that any one of the many gunshots could have found Weller, meaning not only that she would lose the man she loves, but that she'd be left alone and completely exposed. But she manages it, disarming the bomb and looking up at a panting Weller, who is da bomb, tbh. Take that, Shepherd! You sent five men to kill one, and he took them all down. Bam! Ugh and Jane's little 'thanks' is so cute, like omg could you two just freakin' dive into each other's arms already, you know you want to!! I mean, let's not pretend that that little 'don't die' wasn't just a shortened version of 'don't die because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I plan that life to be more like 50 years than just the next 5 minutes'?

~~Will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me? Beyond the barricade, is there a world you long to see? Then join in the fight that will give you the right to be freeeeee....~~ Okay yes, I did have to pause my recapping to go listen to some Les Mis because of this. I'm just getting a lot of feels (and literal goosebumps) about these two and their sacrifice, okay?? And ugh Parker's team is on them and bullets are flying and they might be dead any second now and Zapata is still snarking about Quantico (while also crouching in tight jeans and heels wow #iconic), and he snarks back about writing her a recommendation letter and ugh I love these two and the fact they both know that the only way they can cope with this is with sass and ugh save me. And then Patterson fries the system and everything blacks out for a moment, and then the lights come back on they reveal all of the Sandstorm dudes are down. Wait, guys, wait! Havent you heard of a term called 'playing possum'?? I don't care if it seems dishonourable, please shoot the crap out of those bodies before you leave the safety of your barricade! And ughhhhhh they juuuust start to grin at each other, almost believing they really made it, when FREAKIN' SLIMY-ASS PARKER SHOOTS MY BEAUTIFUL BABY. HOW DARE YOU SIR, I ALWAYS SAID DEVON WAS FAR TOO GOOD FOR YOU. And ughhhhh the shock and rage on Reade's face as he fills him with bullets is so intense ughhh. And ugh my baby is only concerned about Reade even while she's bleeding and okay okay at best guess the shot looks like it got her in the shoulder? Which in reality could very easily be deadly but in TV land generally means you'll be just fine (let's not forget that both Jane and Patterson have been shot in the abdomen in the last few months and were in fighting form like 2 days later), so I'm not too worried. But ugh speaking of my other baby Patterson, she's all alone in the dark, frantically dialling DHS to warn them because she needs to save as many people as she can, all while having no idea whether Sandstorm has already killed Reade and Zapata or how much time she herself has left to live. Ughhhhh seriously can I hug her rn bc we both need it

Given that we know how pissed Shepherd gets when things don't go her way, I'm very suspicious of her 'meh' attitude towards her plans being ruined rn. What else does she have in store?? And ugh then she uncuffs Roman (keeping the cuffs tho which feels weird? Maybe she's just into recycling? Or souvenirs?) and then even offers him a gun?? And tells him that staying means being locked up alone in a cell for the rest of his life and noooooooo Roman she's wrong! Jane will fight for you! And ugh the first thing he does is aim the gun at her, and ugh SHOOT HER ROMAN. She doesn't love you, she doesn’t even deny it when you accused her of controlling you your whole life. And ugh she says that losing Remi was an inherent risk of the plan that they all accepted. Yeah, idk about that. I mean I totally believe Shepherd was willing, but I doubt Roman accepted it easily. As for Remi herself, well, I already said that I believe she went into it with the hope of coming out as someone new, hoping for the chance to finally become the person she should have been, instead of the one Shepherd warped her into. I think Jane's dream was wrong. I don't think, if her two selves could meet in a dream, that Remi would see Jane and try to kill her, to take back over. Instead, she would just look at her with tears in her eyes and whisper 'thank you'. And then she would look behind Jane, where dream-Weller and Dream-Roman are standing, and she would tell her to take care of them. And then she'd close her eyes and fade away, at peace at last. Because she'd spent her whole life as a prisoner of who she was, and it was only in letting herself be erased and replaced that she could finally be free at last. 

But anyhow that's speculation for another time. With her warning given, Patterson has raced out of the server room to find her friends, initially relieved and then panicked as she sees Reade crouching over Zapata. And ugh she races back to radio for help. And ugh she must just want to collapse in a sobbing heap when she hears Weller's voice and discovers that he and Jane are in the building. Mom and Dad are here. They'll fix everything. The kids have done their best, and now they get to hand over the responsibility to the grownups. And ugh speaking of family bonds, Roman steps out into the hall right in front of Jane and Weller, and she immediately drops her gun, looking as stunned to see him as he is to see her. And then he raises his gun and shoots right at them-- or does he?? Like yes, Weller immediately shoves Jane through a doorway and to safety, but how did Roman, trained sharpshooter, not hit them with either of the shots he got off before that?? Because he WASN'T AIMING FOR THEM. He aimed wide, just enough to look like he was trying to kill them, while actually sending them into cover before Shepherd could fire at them. He knew his side outnumbered theirs, and so did the only thing he could to protect them without having to turn on Shepherd and try to kill both her and her men. He and Shepherd flee into Borden's office while Weller and Jane take out the last of the Sandstorm guys, joined moments later by their own backup team (better late than never, guys, tho lbr these two badasses don’t really need you). And ugh she tells Weller that they won’t surrender, and the understanding passes between them that this will be shooting to kill. He locks his eyes with hers, and tells her to take Shepherd.Her unsteady breath and tiny 'thanks' kills me. He would never make her kill her own brother, and we all know that he's going to do whatever he can not to kill Roman either. And she's right there with him as they go in-- instead of sending the backup guys, they're both through the door first. But seriously dude that smoke is super dangerous for them, obscuring their vision in a way it wouldn't for Roman and Shepherd, meaning that they would be totally vulnerable to being shot before they even see their targets. But actually there’s none there to be seen; I assumed they escaped out the same air vents that Jane and Patterson crawled though in the lockdown ep, since Borden clearly knew about those from that time, but instead, the sneaky bastard had actually cut a hole through the wall behind a panel, pre-engineering their escape. Dammit, Borden, why you gotta keep hurting us even from beyond the grave? I definitely get how Patterson feels rn...

Ugh, the calm after the storm. Jane is standing near Weller-- I have a feeling they haven't been more than a couple of yards from each other since this whole thing happened, a subconscious connection of both protection and reassurance--  as he looks down at Pellington's body, and ugh they may have both had their issues with him, but they never wanted this. And then Patterson joins them like a timid puppy, telling them that Shepherd tried to attack six other buildings all over the country. Their efforts prevented four of them, but couldn't stop the other two-- but all civilians were evacuated in time and the law enforcement casualties were minimal. They're still shaken over it, naturally, but it's a better outcome than they could have hoped for. Jane looks almost near tears as she realises that they saved thousands of lives. And they did. But Weller's right; that's not what people will remember. People always look for someone to blame, and don’t necessarily always care if it's the right person. This poor team has been through hell today, and though they did save thousands, there were plenty of their own that they couldn't save. Lbr the bullpen is going to have a very 'Empty chairs at empty tables' vibe for a long time. 

Omgggggg. They're in the cell and Weller is fluffing the pillow and all I can think is BLUE SHIRT BLUE SHIRT BLUESHIRT BLUESHIRTBLUESHIRTBLUESHIRTTTTTTT. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. IT'S HAPPENING. And ugh Weller apologises that she can't go home-- everyone else can, because they're not in danger of being murdered by their mother or brother (well, as far as we know; maybe they have a complex family situation too). Tbh I feel like Weller is totally fine with her staying; this building is now a fortress, and there's probably nowhere safer for her to be. Plus, he's now kinda the big boss, and will no doubt be staying in his office (not forgetting he'd be a main target too), putting him only moments away if she needs him. And ugh now that they're out of the firefight and reality has settled in, she can't think of anything but how her family is responsible for all of this death and destruction, and how she herself played a role in bringing it about. Not to mention that Roman, one of the people she loves most in the world, turned on her, shot at her, and fled with Shepherd, choosing to be a terrorist rather than stay with her and fight for good. And that's where her real fear comes in-- what if the same will happen to her? What if she's just a time-bomb, ticking down to the moment when the zip wears off and Remi reawakens? What if one day she could suddenly lose all that she has become, could snap and turn on the team, on Kurt, and have no control over it? It's her Remi nightmare all over again, except this time she's faced with the possibility of it becoming reality. Ugh how awful must that be, to live with that potential death-sentence over your head? But ugh Weller won't let her think like that; he immediately reaches out, and ugh her voice hitches almost imperceptibly as his hand covers her knee and she fixes her eyes on his, needing to hear that it will all be okay, and he tells her that they aren't their families and she shudders and looks away and you can practically see the 'but what if I am?' that runs through her head, and he turns to her, voice more insistent as he tells her that he knows her heart (asdfghjkl of course he does, bc it's the match of his own; he knows her as well as he knows himself) and ughhhhh then let me die because he PUTS his HAND over her HEART. Just like she did with his all those months ago; it was her starting point, the symbol of her journey of becoming Jane, becoming the person she truly was. This is her. The tattooed FBI consultant who saves people on a daily basis and whose heart of gold belongs to Kurt Weller. That is who she is, not a cold and calculating terrorist who only wants to watch the world burn. "[Remi] is not who you are,' he tells her, and he's right. She's his Jane, and always will be. And ugh she holds his hand against her chest, head down and eyes closed, keeping him from pulling away, needing that reassurance. Needing that contact. And then she looks up at him almost pleadingly, like she's so desperate for him to be right, and so needing the reassurance of his touch, of his love. And he sees it, understands it, because he needs her too. And he never looks away as he shifts his hand to cup her jaw, and ugh the way her hand covers his and her tear-filled eyes find his and her chin trembles and okay it's super faint but I am so sure he shakes his head just a fraction and whispers 'it's not', and ugh I'm also convinced that he pressed his fingers just lightly against the back of her neck in like a tiny 'come here' gesture and she's barely fighting off the tears as she does, finally letting herself give in and believe that she can truly have him this time, that she can at last give him her heart completely. And ugh her hand lifts from his but falters, wanting to reach for him but unsure for a moment if this is just a comforting peck or if this is an everything-laid-bare, I'm-never-letting-go kind of kiss, and she soon realises it's the latter and curls her hand around the back of his neck as he buries his in her hair, the other gently gripping her arm, anchoring her to him, and ugh this is a kiss they could both happily live in forever; a real everything-out-in-the-open, no-more-hiding-or-pretending kiss, no more secrets, no more ghost-Taylor, just the two of them choosing each other. Just Kurt and Jane, finally kissing the person they're stupidly in love with. And god, part of me so hopes Patterson is still in her lab rn and happens to look at the video feeds just at the right time and is standing there with happy-tears in her eyes and her hands over her mouth to hold in her squeal, because the day had been full of fear and suffering and devastation and darkness and then there was this one tiny bright spark, this one beautiful and happy thing, and ugh I bet she mutters abuse at the secret service guys when they interrupt and is already anticipating the moment she visits Zapata later and gets to tell her about this because if anything makes her friend feel better, it'll be winning the bet that they've had going on since the other night in the bar and ughhhhh this is the first moment of sunshine through the clouds and the first time that she realises that maybe things might just be okay. And ugh back in the cell, Weller is super displeased about the Secret service interruption-- when they first arrive, he doesn't even seem to hear them straight away, bc for a split second when Jane pulls away he seems confused, grip tightening on her like he wants to pull her back in, and then he registers what was said and realises why she pulled back haha, and you can literally see him make a gesture like 'kind of in the middle of something here guys' lol. And then ugh when they say he needs to come with them, his body shifts, and as usual idc that their hands are out of shot, bc I am 100% certain that when he says 'I'm not leaving my people'-- meeting Jane's eyes as he says so-- he closes his hand over hers on her thigh, linking them like he's daring the agents to try to separate them. And then she tells him that he has to go and it's okay, and gives him this adorable little encouraging smile, and he gives a tiny huff like 'alright, wifey, but only because you said so' and ughhh he gets up and moves past her and their hands are still holding onto each other and he gives her fingers one last tiny squeeze before forcing himself to let go and ughhhh he walks out without looking back because he knows he has to go do his ~duty~ and if he looks back and sees her sitting alone on that bed he won't have the strength to leave. But his dedication to serving and protecting others is one of the things she loves about him and she would never want to stand in the way of that. Doesn't mean she won’t miss him like hell until he gets back, though.

Oh boy. Shepherd is all dressed up, medals and everything. I have to say she does look good in a beret. But hold on, this isn’t one of those situations where the person gets in their full military dress before killing themselves, right? Nope nevermind, she's making a video announcement. I'm intrigued by the two empty chairs beside her-- were they originally intended for Roman and Remi? Was this vid meant to be a family affair? And she claims responsibility for the attacks, blah-blahing about how the country is failing and needs to be rectified (look, I'm not necessarily arguing with that, but I sure disagree with her methods), and ugh as she talks we get little glimpses of Weller being taken somewhere unknown, while Patterson stands in the bullpen with tears running down her face, and Reade sits by Zapata's bedside, and Jane sees the R carved on the bed and grieves afresh for Roman. Ugh. Oh right, the empty chairs are for 'those we have lost and those who will take up the fight'-- so, they kinda are for Remi and Roman then. And apparently now is the dawn of a new America, and clearly Roman is as discomfited by this as the rest of us, because that definitely sounded like a victory speech. Given that she wants him to send it to the Times tomorrow, yet said 'Today's attacks', then clearly she has a lot more planned.... #shit

Aaand now Weller is being escorted into a mysterious bunker in a mountainside, having to surrender his gun and phone (noooo, how will you tell wifey you're okay??) as part of the Deputies' Committee protocols. And then we see the flashback to Briana getting him to sign those documents and well, nice work show. Way to plant that little seed early on haha. And now Weller's in the hands of the army, walking into... a giant, fancy conference room filled with official looking people. I love that Weller's focus isn’t on the guy addressing the group; it’s on the bunker doors sealing behind him, cutting him off from his team, and from Jane, for who knows how long. And he already knows that something about this is very, very wrong. And then he hears the words Continuity of Government Subcommittee-- COGS-- and sees the copy of the Truman protocol in his binder. Not to mention the fact that Keaton, Julia Chang of the CDC, and Agent Valentine of the DEA are all there, people who are all in place due to tattoo cases removing their superiors from power. And then he knows. Knows that THIS, the Truman protocol, is Phase 2. They are the new dawn of America, the new founding fathers (and mothers). Shepherd chose them all based on their leadership skills and morality, which is kind of a weird thing to think about when she is the exact type of thing that they will be protecting the country against. It's very ‘be the villain in order to become a hero’ kind of thing? But either way, literally everyone outside this bunker, including everyone Weller loves, is now in terrible mortal danger. And he has absolutely no way to stop it. #Checkmate

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 23} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received in the hours before IWSY was posted ^^)

Anonymous said: I love tuesdays because of you hahaha I can't focus on my assignment bcoz im really excited !!!!!! More strong power thank you !

Oh my god please try focusing on your assignment too! TT I want you to do well and so does Jungkook c: hehe~ Thank you so much love :D

@qigoyangi said: and finally it's Tuesday again!! the only other day in the week that I wait for is Fridays. You left me hanging on the edge with the last update and I'm soo excited for todays update. I loved the concept with the reader being a domitor and I'm looking forward too see how you evolve that. lot's of love and support from Qi

Yes it’s Tuesday! I’m so glad you look forward to Tuesdays because of IWSY! And I’m happy that you’re loving the lore and the concept :3 Thank you so much my love and I hope you enjoy tonight!!

Anonymous said: I just finished taking a test and remember u were uploading today 🙌💞 U light up my days  -wifey anon

Hello wifey anon! And good job on finishing your test! I’m sure you did an amazing job =D Awwww you’re so cute!! You light up my days too :3 I really hope you enjoy tonight’s chapter :D

Anonymous said: I had a really shitty and stressful day and I have just realized it's Tuesday and now I'm like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can't wait for tonight's update

Shitty and stressful days are the worst, I’m sorry your day was so crappy :( But I hope that the new chapter was able to cheer you up and make your day a little better :3 Thank you so much babe!

@jynxy24 said: I'm breathing out tge air of my lungs for the upcoming smut!! :3

*breathes with you* I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT MY LOVE!

@animeimmortal said: I had such a shit day and all I'm waiting for is IWSY cuz like yes it does make me angry at times cuz of cliffhangers but then again its SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD ❤

I’m sorry you had a shit day my love *hugs* but I hope that IWSY can make you smile today! (apologies again for the cliffhangers :P )

Anonymous said: Girl, I'm dying here.  I need my IWSY fix!

Go go go get it!!

@cotylovesbands said: I can't wait for IWSY!!!!!! I love it so so much 💗

I really hope you enjoyed it my dear! *hugs*

@mocking-butts said: Okay but seriously you're my fav writer ever and I look up to you for writing and I'm way too excited for this chapter you are now the mother of writing I'm calling you mumsy~! I'm so excited I can't stop looking at my phone 😭💕

Omg mumsy *heart flutters* that’s so cute ajkgnakjgadg you’re so sweet what did I do to deserve you?! hehe~ I really hope you enjoyed the chapter babes! Thank you so much :)

Anonymous said: Omfg I'm so excited for the next part, like I've been procrastinating for about an hour on meaning to do homework and this has only solidified that I shouldn't be doing work until I've read the update 😂

Let’s be professional procrastinators together yaaaaay I love doing nothing and leaving everything till the last minute so I can stress cry and worry about everything LOL xD I really hope you enjoyed it my love :3

Anonymous said: I'm buzzing for ISWY, I've had such a shitty time editing this essay and your update is giving me motivation

I’m so glad I can offer you the inspiration to keep editing your essay! You’ll do a good job my dear ^^

Anonymous said: That was such a good chapter!!! But this caught my attention, in a previous chapter, Jungkook mentioned not to let a human become pregnant because it will end badly for everyone? Did he decide it was okay since she was a domintor? Will she die? Will he change her? So many questions! Such a good story, I love it and I love you!

Ahh thank you so much and I love you too!! As for your questions my dear - as always, I never reveal spoilers so you will just have to live with your curiosity for the time being ;D I hope you can understand asdfg :3 Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day/night!!

@audreymv said: Yes Yes Yes. I love at the end especially  where they said "You" I can't so much. I love this and omg what is Yoongi actually wanting to do with the reader. Can't be good. God Smut and Fluff. Well this is just my lucky day and I just am so sad that this series is going to end soon. But so relieved and happy hopefully. God this makes me happy. You make me happy with what you do Sara. Thank you

I’m so happy you liked it c: AND HEY WHO SAID IT WAS GONNA END SOON? It ain’t over ‘till it’s over...and my god, nothing has even happened yet! :3 I really hope you’ll look forward to and enjoy what I have planned. I hope that it was be interesting, shocking and enjoyable all at the same time. I’m so excited to write it! And my dear, you make me happy because you’re happy. Thank you for always being amazing :)

Anonymous said: THAT CHAPTER WAS SO GOOOOOOD! I RECENTLY GOT MY FRIEND INTO BTS AND NOW WE LITERALLY JUST WAIT THE WHOLE WEEK FOR YOUR UPDATES!! THANKS FOR WRITING THIS WONDERFUL FANFIC! LOTS OF LOVE❤

YAAAAY THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’M SO HAPPY THAT YOU AND YOUR FRIEND LOVE BTS AND READ MY SERIES :3 you’re so welcome and thank you for reading it and messaging me c:

Anonymous said: LOVE LOVE LOVE IWSY -anon who just read chp.23

Thank you so much for reading it and loving the story so far!! It means a lot to me :)

@mocking-butts said: IM SCREAMING AT THIS CHAPTER I CANT HANDLE THE FEEELS. I'm just going to go cry in a corner while waiting for next weeks update I'm in love with this story how do I properly live?

No don’t cry in a corner that’s not good! :c *hugs* eheh thank you so much for reading it dear ^^ I’m so happy you enjoyed it!

@vtstigmarmy said  Omg it's out! Finally! Its 2am and im hyped!!

Wow it was so late for you! :c I hope you managed to get to sleep after reading it, and thank you so much for staying up so late to read it too!! I hope you liked it!

@animeimmortal said: Oh that was hell of a chapter. Wow like this the smut was spot on and the "I will move mountains...swim an ocean for you" type of thing got me internally screaming for how much I liked it ^^ (so cheesy ^^) my mood went up 100% ❤❤❤  love you 😘

Ahhh I wish I could find someone who would say those words to me and mean them with all their heart ^^ I’m not a huge fan of cheesiness - I find it to be rather cringey most of the time but, when it’s heartfelt and when it’s right for the moment, I accept it :3 lol Ah I’m so glad the chapter could bring your mood up! I love you too and thank you so much :D

@ayedemi said: Iwsy is so good omg, but like vampires and human or half human, gettig kids, i hope it won't be as dramatic as Twilight omg 😂❤

Do not fear! There will be no Twilight fuckery in this story xD You can be sure of that :D thank you for reading love ^^

Anonymous said: Fuck... u NEED to create a TV show out of IWSY I would literally watch it over and over again... 😭 How I wish this could be real life..... 😍 Going through hard times I know I can always count on you xxxx

I would love to make IWSY into a TV show! Omg that would be so cool~ And I wish this world could be real life too....but, I don’t think this scene would be allowed to air on television (not before 9pm anyway lool) I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through hard times. Keep your chin up and keep doing your best, and I’m always cheering you on ^^ Thank you so much my love.

@theninjachan said: "Do I need to ask you a second time, sweetheart? Don’t you wish to please your Prince?”  I just busted a nUT I'M LEAVING PLANET EARTH GOODBYE

SAME GOODBYE GOODNIGHT WHEN WILL A PRINCE EVER WHISPER THAT INTO MY EAR FUCK STOP THE BUS LET ME OFF I

@sorrehbae said: Glad to know im not the only one whos obsessed with iwsy I legit have an alarm and set it in my schedule lmao  I dont even have alarms for school im- Thanks for creating a masterpiece Bye omg （⌒▽⌒)

Oh my god that’s so cute Cx YOU ARE SO CUTE LET ME HUG YOU ;; Thank you so much for enjoying IWSY, and thank you for reading th new update as well ^^

Anonymous said: It was amazing. I. cannot. live. THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE BABBIIIEESSSSS?! But JK needs to turn Y/N because otherwise he will live much longer than she?! But which of the three scenarios (Vampire, Nothing happens, Die) will happen? AHHHH xxxxx UK anon

Baby talk yikes!! I wonder what will happen?! Ahh so many questions! Will Sara answer anything? heeeeeh c: Thank you so much for reading babe ^^

@mysr3 said: Saraa! I LOVE YoU and MAD at YoU at the same time! So GoOd OMG I did feel hot and bothered! Your writing indeed hit my emotional spot again! JK shows who the BOSS here! "I didn’t know what love was....My life was but a barren wasteland…until you walked into it and shed your wonder upon it" ahh Tears at this whole thing- so touching 😭 Give you lot of Hugs and KiSses Thank you Love! Thought last week I struggled hard enough😒 this week seems to be worse! Luv Ya 💖

Nooo don’t be mad at me why!? :3 Lots of hugs and kisses for you too - and I really hope that this week won’t be as bad as last week. Please stay strong okay? You can really get through everything because you are stronger than you think! You have survived all of your worst days so far...remember that ^^ I love you too and thank you so much for reading the chapter my dear :)

@deboracorreia26 said: I'm definitely out of words after this love confession. IWSY is absolutely my favorite fanfic ever, and you are my favorite writer. Love you!

I’m so happy you liked his gentle pillow talk c: *blushes* thank you so much beautiful - thank you for reading the new chapter and I love you too!

Anonymous said: Last week I was like "hmm chapter 22 and there hasn't been another smut scene yet... Suspicious." And then when I was reading it I was like "OOOOOH JUNGKOOK IS MAD I BET THERE'S GONNA BE SOME THINGS GOING ON NEXT CHAPTER....." And then at the end of the chapter I was like "YEAH MAN I CALLED IT THERE'S GONNA BE SOME ~spicy~ SCENES NEXT CHAPTER!" And now I read it and JEEZ LOUISE WAS THAT SOMETHING. Also THE END HAS ME SQUEALING ITS SO CUTE AHH Thank you for writing IWSY it is truly amazing! ~Ro❤️

Hiya Ro! I’m glad you enjoyed the much needed 3rd smut scene in this series :3 muhaha~ Thank you very much for reading it, as it is my pleasure to write it and post it! ^^ Have an awesome day my dear!

Anonymous said: Me trying to be calm after reading IWSY pr 23: well shit, sara... tbh you just made me love you like a billion times more . I applaud you once again on your exceptional writing. Me in all honestly after reading it: HOT DAMN THAT WAS PRETTY JUICY! I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT JUNGKOOK WAS GOING TO PROPOSE AFTER HIS LITTLE SPEECH TOWARDS THE END! anyways... ;'-' please take care of yourself, and you have once again impressed me with your writing! <3 - army anon

But I love you way more, so c: Hello Army Anon! You’re welcome for the hot, sexy juiciness~~ And oh my god a post-sex proposal :3 Prince Jungkook is so romantic, right? :3 I’ll do my best my love! Make sure you take care of yourself too and thank you so much for reading the new chapter :3

Anonymous said: I'm not crying. You are.

You’re not wrong

@koreaisanaddiction said: SARAAA!!! it was so GOOOOOOD!!

THANK YOU MY LOVE!!!

Anonymous said: Idk how many words that chapter was but it was basically en entire chapter of pure smut and I'm happy I waited to read it till I got home because otherwise I'd be fanning my face at school.

I believe it was around 5k words? So, considerably less than the previous chapters but still substantially full! Oh god yes you made a wise decision to wait until you got home :3 Thank you so much for reading it and I’m glad you enjoyed it my love :3

@coppertopging said: AHHHHHHHH why do you do this to us!!! You're a heartbreaker! She's gonna get pregnant! And then Yoongi's gonna get her!!! I just feel it... dammit, woman!

Ahhh you think you have it all sussed out...*giggles* Thank you for reading baby!

Anonymous said: Wow look at all the smutty goodness in that new chapter of IWSY like I was legit jumping on my bed and throwing my phone 😂

All le smutty goodness yay :3 LOL thank you so much for reading it and enjoying it?! :3

Anonymous said: Seriously, "I won't stop you'' is AMAZING -cat anon

Hi cat anon! Thank you so much for liking I Won’t Stop You! :3

@noceurash said: BLESSS , i won't stop you is a blessing to this world. As always ~~ Ily and have a good day today (or tomorrow pft ) ♡♡♡♡ . You're one of my favorite blogs tbh haha ♡

You’re so sweet aghsgksjnds thank you so much for your kind words. I love you too and I hope you have an amazing day or night as well my dear! Take care and thank you so much for reading :3

Anonymous said: I feel emotionally attacked. The most recent update of IWSY hit me in the feels highkey. You never fail to impress :) <3

I feel so happy when you tell me that I impressed you, thank you so much for that sweetie :) And you’re welcome for feeling emotionally attacked! It was my pleasure ~~~

@kookies-hoe said: OH MY GAWDDDDDDD HOW CAN SMUT BE SO CUTEAND FLUFFY AND SEXY AT THE SAME TIME 😭😭😭 Thank you for the new part! Cant wait for 24~ 💕❤

I think the best sexy time is sexy time that is both smutty and fluffy :3 Hehe~ You’re welcome and thank you so much for reading it my love!!

Anonymous said: Omg yassssss THEY BUMPED UGLIES. THIS WAS WHAT I NEEDED. OMFG IM SO HAPPY. LIKE JUNGKOOK IS SO DADDY AND IM A SINNNER BUT I CANT HELP IT. THAT BOY DOES THINGS TO ME. Y/n was getting that good 🍆!  😏😏😏.  But on another note I'm so depressed I can't go to see jungkook this weekend. But I still love him from a far and one day Ima touch him. Mom I hope you've been doing well. My surgery went great and I'm doing fine. It wasn't a big procedure. I love you so much. 💜 ~LilKookieAnon

Hello LilKookieAnon! YES LMAO THEY BUMPED UGLIES and my dear I am so happy that your surgery went well. I hope you are recovering nicely and taking plenty of time to rest and restore your energy! ^^ I’m sorry you can’t go and see BTS :( But I know that one day you will, never give up okay?! I love you so much too and thank you once again for reading the chapter ^^ Take care of yourself okay?

Anonymous said: IWSY, incredible yet again. I will never get over how every single chapter leaves me satisfied AND anticipating the next one! You've really developed the plot so nicely. It's overall one of the best of its kind in my opinion. Keep up the fantastic work Sara! Can't wait for next Tuesday!!! (Also, "I would want no other woman to mother my children..." I'm DED) - 종달새 <3

‘One of the best of it’s kind’ - you are far too sweet, I’m crying at that :c I’m so happy that you like the plot and you’re enjoying the storyline, I really wanted to create a world that everyone can enjoy! And I KNOW RIGHT GOD DAMN IT I HURT MYSELF WITH THAT LINE GOODNIGHT lmao thank you my dear ^^

Anonymous said: IWSY update is the only thing that keeps me going on Tuesday

I’m so happy that it keeps you going *hugs*

Anonymous said: Omg I completely forgot that today IWSY was going to be posted like it was raining earlier and I was making a paper mache(?) piñata with a couple friends but like YES THE SMUT IT WAS GREAT AND SO IS YOUR WRITING

Ooooh paper mache making is so fun! Invite me next time pls :c hehe ^^ Thank you so much for liking and reading the chapter my love :3

@jiyongyu said: There are only a few fics that I absolutely adore and IWSY is one of them. Seriously, I'm always waiting for Tuesday to roll around because I can't wait for the next chapter haha! Thank you for writing such an interesting horror-esque fic! As a fellow horror fan, it's quite refreshing ^^ Anyway KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK ILYYYY ♥

Thank you so much for saying that :) It seriously makes my heart go all dokidoki lmao ~ (I don’t know how to say that in english? haha) I’m so happy that you like my addition to the horror fic genre! That means so much to me~ I will keep doing my best and I love you too ;3

Anonymous said: Idk how you managed to turn to atmosphere of the room from dom!jungkook to something all lovey dicey is beyond me 👏🏼

I really wanted to portray the healthiness of their relationship. Like, he’s definitely a dom but he’s how a dom should be in those type of bedroom adventures~ He is of course authoritative and likes to be in control, but he reads her body language and is attentive to her needs and security and of course, he loves her ^^ I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :3 Thank you dear!

@jynxy24 Is it wrong that i'm reading this but, I'm like, 14? Sara, you make the best of smut😂 But, I should really stop reading smut what is wrong with me😳 THANK YOU AGAIN FOR A GREAT CHAPTER!! And also, I love the new theme! :3 Have a great day, Sara. Stay awesome!!

JYNxY YOU’RE 14 OH MY GOD YOU POOR CHILD I’M SO SORRY LMAO but tbh, I *do* have it marked as MATURE and there is a warning on it :P I can’t stop minors from reading what I write, just as long as you are mature enough in your self and you are sensible and safe in the real world when you make your own decisions ^^ Thank you so much for loving the new theme! And thank you for reading the new chaptER YOU BAD CHILD (kidding lol) but I think you are mature and sensible so ^^

@ananyak26 said: Part 23 was damn sexy! The last part was so beautiful though! Omg Jungkook's love .. It just killed me! Why can't there be more guys like himxD.. Jk anyway. Beautiful writing as usual

There are no guys like him - only Vampires ;D muahaha(my jokes are so bad forgive me but I try) lol xD THANK YOU so much my love, I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter :) That means so much to me ^^

@toxic-seoul said: OH MAH LAWD OKAY THAT WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS. oh god seriously tho I really love Jungkook in this. Yoongi better back the fuck off. I take back all words I said about Yoongi taking reader away & wooing her even tho he's my bias. But.. u kno.. he did kill her parents.. like.. that's a deal breaker. I still love him in this tho like ugh kill me as well. Jungkook and reader are just 2 god damn cute & 2 invested in each other like I can't. Sara ur killing me here & I love it. Keep killing me pls lmao

LOL BACKPEDDLE FROM WANTING YOONGI TO FUCC YOU AGAINST A WALL like fuck lmao~~ they are pretty much 100% invested in each other now, you’re absolutely right. But...I wonder. c: You’re welcome for the death and the smut hehe ^^ thank you so much for reading it and always being super amazing. Take care and have an awesome day love!

Anonymous said: Chapter 23 was some kinky shit

You’re welcome ;D

Anonymous said: I have never liked Vampire!AU or supernatural au but damn WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME !! I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF VAMPIRE JUNGKOOK MAN OMFG 😭😭😩😩🖤🖤🔥 love your writing 🖤🖤 stay healthy and amazing 🖤🖤

That means so much to me!! Thank you for liking my addition to this type of AU :3 Thank you so much and I hope you will stay healthy and take care of yourself too my dear :)

Anonymous said: hello! I am writing just to thank you for writing the jungkook vampire fanfic!!! I just found it yesterday and I read the entire series already!! seriously looking forward for the next chapter. you write so well, I think you can do well as a legit story writer HAHHAA. anyways thanks for all the hard work and for satisfying my fantasies!! <3 u and <3 kookie!!

Thank you very much for writing to me and letting me know! Ahh you read it all in such a short space of time?! *cries* thank you!! you’re so sweet and I hope you will look forward to the rest of the series too my dear. I love you and Kookie as well! Take care love ^^

@wanda-rog said: "If it happens, it happens" JUNKOOK BEFORE IT HAPPENS omg im so exited for the next chapter!!

Hehehe :3 Thank you for being excited for the next chapter! And thank you for reading this chapter too ^^

[youremyonlyhope]

The Force Awakens

Almost 4 years ago, I started my Star Wars rewatch by watching the original series in preparation to watch the Force Awakens. Then I rewatched the prequels before The Last Jedi. And now I’m seeing Rise of Skywalker on Sunday, so it’s time to rewatch the 2 other sequels.

I’ve rewatched the Force Awakens a couple of times since I first saw it, so it should still be fresh in my mind. As for the Last Jedi, I have not been able to bring myself to watch that one because of the ending. Not because I hated it, I loved it, but because it hurts.

Also, this gives me a distraction so I don’t get spoiled for Rise of Skywalker. Again. Can’t believe I’ve been spoiled twice already in just 2 days... luckily it was the same spoiler twice. One that was vague and I hoped it wasn’t right, but then the other one was a gif of the scene so now I know it’s true. Ugh...

This is super long and I apologize in advance.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...” I didn’t see the Force Awakens in theaters. I saw it at home nearly a year later (after getting spoiled for all major plot points during that year). So I can’t IMAGINE the pure joy that people felt when they got to see the opening title crawl for the first time in 10 years. I wish I had seen it in theaters. Ok. I don’t like that I can’t pause Disney+ with the spacebar like other streaming sites let me... or maybe it’s just my computer. ANYWAY. I forgot that the opening crawl literally says “Skywalker, the last Jedi” in it, accidentally telling us the title of the next movie. Yeah so I can already tell I’ll be pausing every like 2 seconds. But I love this opening shot of a ship blocking out a MOON. Oh and NOW the spacebar works to pause. One of those stormtroopers is Finn. Awww. BB8! I didn’t realize he’s (they’re?) the first character we see (that we know is an important character since at this point we don’t really know which stormtrooper is Finn). Poe! Giving a message to a droid... so I know we like to think of Poe as the Han of the sequel trio... but honestly he’s the Leia. Yeah I mean... a friend (or at least co-worker) smearing their blood on your face with their hand as they die is definitely traumatizing enough to make you rethink your life. Finn, I don’t blame you. I started this scene like “Oh we’re gonna get the Knights of Ren and Kylo freezing the blaster ray using the Force” then I got so into the scene that I forgot Kylo was going to show up at all.

It’s not a Star Wars rewatch if my grandma doesn’t call and interrupt at least once. This time it was right as Kylo came out of the ship.

Kylo’s powerful. I’ll give him that. Holding that blaster ray for as long as he's about to. I love Poe looking back at it. Poe’s first lines to Kylo are joking about who gets to talk first, when Kylo’s literally still holding a blaster ray in midair and knows Poe has the map he wants. And people say “General Hugs” during a battle was out of character. GENERAL PHASMA! GWENDOLINE MY QUEEN! Poor baby Finn. [BB8 moans softly] BB8 NO DON’T CRY. Oh poor Finn. But yay first time we see his face! It just hit me that now I’m the same age/older than John and Daisy when they filmed this... great.... AND REY! I remember when we first saw footage of her climbing around, I said to my dad “I think that’s supposed to be Han and Leia’s daughter.” So far I’m wrong. I’ve been holding out hope for years that maybe just maybe there will be a twist and I’m right. I’m fine with her parents being nobodies, but I kind of want to be right. I’m probably not. The scale of that ship behind her... The shot of her speeding across the desert has such... original trilogy vibes. It never registered to me that Rey has some wilting flowers. That brings new meaning to the “so much green” scene later... Awwww the practical effect bread... Ok. I’m being nit picky, but they drained it just a split second too early. If it’d drained just a millisecond later, it would have been perfectly timed with the inflation of the bread. But that’s just me nitpicking for no reason. It’s an impressive effect. “Classified? Me too. Big secret.” LOL even at the time I knew the fandom was making a big fuss about that line for nothing. Too on the nose for it to truly be a big secret she’s keeping from the world. I figured she meant it was a big secret to her. Of course... then people got mad that they wasted their time analyzing that... it’s their own fault really. I forgot that they actually eventually get the location of the map out of Poe. Oh and hi General Hugs! “This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape.” Yep Poe is Leia. She was initially being rescued, but then ends up having to help rescue her rescuer(s) while they’re trying to rescue her. “Because it’s the right thing to do.” If Finn was raised as a stormtrooper, even just to work in sanitation, he wouldn’t necessarily have a moral compass since he wouldn’t know what’s right... at this point I think he just knows he doesn’t like killing... Like how Zuko didn’t realize he wasn’t good because he was taught something else was good. (YES. Finn is closer to Zuko) “You need a pilot” “I need a pilot” Ok see so it’s not necessarily what’s right, but he knows this is how he can get out. Sorta selfish, but not really. Oooooh yeah! It’s Thomas Brodie-Sangster! Forgot he was in this. Wilhelm Scream! Poe naming Finn. Aww. Ok see. How does Kylo know Finn’s identification? Did he ask Phasma “who was the one with the blood on his helmet?” right after they got back on the ship? Because otherwise, he’d have no way to tell them apart in that moment, I don’t think they have their names on their armor unless I never noticed, and even then Kylo would be too far away to read it. There’s a picture of little baby Finn... he was so young when the First Order took him (I assume they took him, I’d hate it if his parents sent him there) OH WOW. ANOTHER WOMAN! Oh and it’s whats-her-face, she was in Deathly Hallows Part 1. (IMDB says Kate Fleetwood) See, back in the day the Empire had no women in their ranks. This is the only thing the First Order is doing right, equal opportunity to be a space Nazi. I forgot that the wreckage gets sucked into the sand... that sucks. Here’s where Poe would have died if Oscar hadn’t been so charismatic. Also, do we ever find out how he survived this? I forgot about the explosion afterwards that just adds insult to injury. Was that necessary? Was that supposed to be funny? If it was, why are people criticizing the Last Jedi’s humor if this moment tries to make us laugh at a character dying... I hope that wasn’t meant to be funny... My poor baby... stranded on a strange desert planet... alone... with the First Order looking for him... I love this giant hippo thing. I want one.

Whiny fanboys: Rey’s a Mary Sue! She can’t know how to fight already! Rey: *Been fighting creeps at the market since she was born*

And I love how she caught Finn. Oh nooo BB8 no don’t cry! Finn, babe, why would you just tell Rey about the map!? Babe! I get that you want to seem reliable and credible, but baby! No! The way Rey was sort of horrified by Finn holding her hand... makes me really wonder what she’s been through. “Stop taking my hand!” Aww and how she offers her hand to him. “The garbage will do” Oh how I wish I hadn’t been spoiled that that was the Millennium Falcon reveal. But that line did create a meme so that’s fun. Wow the Millennium Falcon has been through a LOT. That dramatic zoom in as they fly into the ship (I’m sorry, I do not have ship names memorized) was very Torchwood. The sudden, almost shaky and unnecessary zoom. That upside down shot though. Amazing. And also terrifying. “You’re ok. He’s with the Resistance” *BB8 gives Finn a pointed look* I am DEAD. Oh and the Powerpoint style transitions between scenes. Very necessary. Vital to every Star Wars movie. Kylo. You’re like 30. You should not still have temper tantrums. Grow up. Awww BB8. The internal battle. Followed by the thumbs up. Adorable. Literally for a second I was like “How could the First Order override the controls of the Millennium - HAN!!!!” HAN AND CHEWIE!!!!! I will never forget watching the Force Awakens trailer for the first time with my dad, and nearly sobbing over “Chewie... we’re home.” Also what the hell, Chewie has been through SO MUCH and he’s STILL around! He was protecting Yoda in Revenge of the Sith! And then ends up enslaved and being fed people before Han meets him in Solo!?!?!? What?!?!?!? AND had a whole family before all of that!?!??!?!?!?

Also, watching Solo and realizing that Chewie’s been forced to eat people literally shattered my heart into a billion pieces. I wanted to cry seeing him covered in that mud and trying to kill Han.

Aww, Han and Chewie know the hiding places. I’m not even a third of the way through and I’ve written way too much.

Finn: Han Solo, the Rebellion general? Rey: No, the smuggler! Finn: Wasn’t he a war hero? Chewie: *Grunts and shrugs ‘I don’t know’*

That says so much about all of their characters. Oh god the 12 parsecs thing. I was legitimately MAD when I was watching Solo and realized that they had actually figured out a way to make the 12 parsecs thing make sense. That they actually solved and fixed George Lucas’ mistake, when he was literally just trying to find a cool word and didn’t care about the actual meaning. I am still so angry they managed to fix it in a way that made sense. I started raging once I realized that they were doing it. Awww Han in the cockpit. Ok Finn there you go again, telling everyone about the map to Luke. You’re lucky that Han’s one of the few people it’s good to tell. It could have gone so wrong with Rey. That subtle Binary Sunset piercing my heart. Hey it’s that kid from that Eaters of Light episode of Doctor Who. And when I watched that episode I was like hey it’s that kid from the Force Awakens. He looks familiar to me, but those are the only two things I’ve seen him in. “I got a bad feeling about this” He said the thing! Yeah the Rathtars are gross. Aww and he grabbed her hand again to run. I just noticed that they made the camera lens blurry on the edge, like some of the goo got on it. “That was lucky.” Rey’s so modest. I forgot that they hyperspeeded through the Rathtar... also did that happen in the original series too or am I just remembering it wrong? Anyway, Admiral Holdo did it best. 2nd mention of the last Jedi. Also, LOL remember when everyone was theorizing who Snoke was? My favorite theory was that he was Mace Windu. That was a WILD conspiracy theory. “In the hands of your father... Han Solo.” Oh the dramatic reveal. Awww BB8 running away from Chewie’s roar. Awwww the hologram game! And it’s still stop motion! “It’s true. The Force. The Jedi. All of it.” I forget what video I was watching, but they pointed out that this was Han’s arc. Learning to believe in the Force. I guess in that way, he has a satisfying ending. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy” I remember people saying that Han’s face is basically him thinking ‘...oh no... looks like I gotta adopt this kid.’

...It’s hitting me that we’re going to see Leia in this movie... and I’m gonna be emotional...

...AM I JUST NOW REALIZING THAT CHEWIE’S STRAP OVER HIS CHEST IS A STRAP TO A BAG? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST TO HOLD AMMO OR SOMETHING?!?!? I’ve been a Star Wars fan for HOW many years and I’m just noticing this?!!? Also, in an alternate universe, Han survives and Rey goes off with him and Chewie and they have smuggling adventures and everyone’s happy and alive. Catina music by Lin Manuel! Yay! WOLFMAN! THEY PUT THE WOLFMAN IN THIS! WOW. Look at them shading George Lucas’s rerelease edits. ...Ok so Maz is definitely Force sensitive if she knew Han was there right away, right? Also, Maz is an example of how before Rose Tico and whoever Naomi plays in RoS (I will not google her character name because I know I will get spoiled), we very rarely see AND hear women of color, we get just one or the other. They’re either in the background with no lines or playing a character that isn’t a human if they have lines. The only exception coming to mind is the Queen of Naboo who took over after Padme, Jamillia. Ok I forgot that the lady who rats them out to the First Order actually gets a line and isn’t painted green, so good for her! I love her costume too. Too bad she’s evil.

See. We hear the breathing of Vader, because Ani is so done with his idiot grandson worshipping him that he’s sighing in defeat in the afterlife. Ani needs to Force Ghost himself over to Kylo and be like “DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN I THREW A SITH LORD DOWN A HOLE THAT IT MEANT I WAS TURNING AGAINST THE DARK SIDE? DID THAT GO OVER YOUR HEAD? DID MY ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC GO OVER YOUR HEAD??” Please, what I want most from the Rise of Skywalker (besides making sure Leia gets the proper send off she deserves) is Hayden coming back as a Force Ghost and knocking some sense into Kylo.

Oh Finn. The captions tell us who was talking during the vision... and there WAS a lot of Obi-Wan dialogue... Also poor Rey. She probably definitely remembers her parents, but just blocked it out. Now. If after the endless lines of soldiers, the podium with a giant red and black flag behind it, and the arms rising up still make the space Nazi thing go over your head... then we just can’t help you anymore. HEY! WAS THAT WHATSHERFACE?!? Ghost from Ant-Man and the Wasp? Was that her? Yes! IMDB says it was Hannah John-Kamen! Look at you girl! Too bad you’re evil too. Ok. I will admit that I blanked out for General Hugs’ speech because who wants to listen to a space Nazi. But, has the Star Destroyer been mentioned before this point in the movie? Because I literally can’t remember. If Hugs said it then I probably let my mind wander. Oh and I do appreciate these two dudes who were like “Yeah sure Finn, come with us, work for a bit, and we’ll help you get far away” and were going to let Finn come along with them. They seem nice. Also. Here’s the girl who’s not Freema Ageman. Not every black girl is Martha Jones. The entire internet was like “Martha was in Star Wars!” then I watched the movie and I was like “...that literally was not Freema what are you all on about?” IMDB says she’s Maisie Richardson-Sellers, she’s also in Legends of Tomorrow, which is something I do hope to watch one day. So good for her. The ion engines sounded like the TARDIS for a split second and I was VERY confused. “How did you get that?” “A good question for another time.” Ok JJ you gotta stop with all these unanswered questions that you pose. I get that that’s your thing. And that you have some term for it. But there’s too many now. This one better get answered in Rise of Skywalker. That behind the back shot though. I’m convinced Han’s Force sensitive too. Not even convinced, I think it’s canon. LOL remember when everyone named that stormtrooper who recognized Finn TR-8R.

Finn: *Manages to function using a lightsaber even though he’s only trained with blasters* Fanboys: *Silence* Rey: *Fights with a lightsaber well since she’s fought with sticks her whole life and it’s a similar concept* Fanboys: MARY SUE! SHE CAN’T BE THAT GOOD THAT FAST!

Oh my god it’s the Resistance FINALLY. POE!!!! Yes, I did just scream “Poe!!” out loud. Now, I’m not sure where these forest scenes were filmed, but if you told me the same forest where half of Merlin’s forest scenes were filmed then I would not be shocked. Merlin had some scenes in a similarly narrow trench/valley/pathway/thing. No but seriously, yes the plants look like they’re more tropical than whatever forest Merlin filmed in in the UK, but the trench looks so similar. Oh god the second we saw Leia I froze. And then Leia’s Theme played and I had a sad smile. And then C-3PO popped up and I laughed. Awwww. I love C-3PO so much. There’s so much that body language can convey. Oh no. While watching Finn and Poe reunite, I suddenly remembered that fanedit that put Helpless from Hamilton as the background of the scene. And i laughed. Oh 2015. When all we cared about was Star Wars and Hamilton. That lip bite. Oscar stop it. Billie Lourd! So I’ve realized over the years that R2D2 kind of sucks. Not that I don’t love him. But he spends the entire original trilogy lying by omission, when he could have just told them everything he knew from the prequels (since he WITNESSED everything and didn’t have his memory erased like 3PO did). And now, he just sits back while everyone scrambles to find Luke and does nothing, WHEN HE HAS THE ANSWER. Yes. I get that it’s deeper than that. But still. It’s funny to think that R2 just wants to sit back and watch the drama unfold while not telling anyone that Vader is Luke’s dad or that he has Luke’s map. (Unless I’m remembering it incorrectly and R2 doesn’t have it. If that’s the case R2 gets a pass this one time.) [It wasn’t the case, R2 doesn’t get a pass] “It is very doubtful that R2 would have the rest of the map in his backup data.” C-3PO are you sure? Because I’m not. I think low-power mode means R2 wants to relax and watch the soap opera that is Star Wars unfold. “There’s still light in him, I know it.” For your sake Leia, I hope there is too. But Kylo is going to need a hell of a redemption arc in tRoS. See, and I can’t remember when I found this out, but the ashes that he puts his helmet in are the ashes of people he’s killed. Kylo Ren SAVES the ashes. He has a TUB of them in his office. What is WRONG with him!??! Yeah so him reading her mind about the ocean was just plain creepy. I just... don’t understand Reylo shippers. “You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.” And he’s right to be afraid! Ani eventually had the strength to turn himself around! Kylo Ren could never! I won’t believe it till I see it! And even then I might not believe it! I think that people forget that Kylo’s supposed to be like 30 years old. I will say that Adam plays the role in this first movie like Kylo’s very young with a hint of a tiny possibility that he feels like he’s in over his head. Really he only plays it that way when the helmet’s off. So I get that he seems younger, but Adam was like 30 when he filmed this too. So why do so many fans coddle Kylo when he’s a grown man? A grown man who’s killing people. After a certain point, you can’t blame Luke or his parents or Snoke... if the guy is literally worshipping his grandfather and ignoring the fact that even Ani turned back to the light side... then the guy has issues. Rey failed twice before getting the Jedi mind trick right. Also, I love that Daisy’s face kind of sorta softened with less fear before she said the command and got it right. I’ve seen the scene of the stormtroopers literally going “Nope” and turning away from Kylo’s tantrum many times over the years, but I didn’t realize that Kylo screams “GUARDS” as he does it until I saw the caption just now. So not only are the stormtroopers like “I don’t want to get into that” they’re like “Let’s act like we didn’t hear him scream for us and let someone else get into that.” Which is even more hilarious. Ok it’s Starkiller not Star Destroyer. Whatever. I was close. But I knew that Luke’s last name was originally Starkiller, so I honestly should have guessed Starkiller in the first place. Whatever. Hey Admiral Akbar! The guy talking about the thermal oscillator looks familiar... was he in Night Shift... IMDB says he’s Ken Leung and yes he was in the Night Shift! Good for him! Awww that was the last time Han and Leia ever saw each other... “That’s not how the Force works.” The captions are telling me that the stormtroopers Rey is hiding from are just talking about how much their new weapons suck. That’s hilarious. “Is there a garbage shoot? Trash compactor?” Oh Han, I see what you did there. Wow, I didn’t notice that the walls of the base are rock, that it’s literally built INTO the planet. Awwwww Finn gave Rey his jacket! I was thinking she must be cold in just a t-shirt after living in a desert. Because I rewatched the last half of RotJ after Force Awakens, I was able to realize that this scene of Han and Chewie planting the bombs was a reference to RotJ, but only because of watching Force Awakens earlier that day. Really, I should have gotten the reference the other way around. “We’ll meet back here.” NOOOOO BUT YOU WON’T. THIS IS THE LAST TIME! Wait, did we not know his name was Ben before this? Was that the moment we all realized he was named after Obi-Wan? (Also, never really got that since Han and Leia knew Obi-Wan for only a couple of days at most... but whatever) Chewie keep going! Keep going and planting bombs while they’re distracted by Han! Come on! Ok I wanted to mention it earlier, but there was a lightbeam hitting Kylo when Snoke’s hologram disappeared, and that was after Snoke told him to be careful of going back to the light. Now as Han walks towards Kylo, there’s another lightbeam. It’s all very literal, but still. I like it. UH OH. I forgot about the light from the sun going away. Now Kylo’s literally in the darkness. We’re getting super literal now. (Also, I now realize that Poe’s line of “As long as we have the light we have a chance” was also a on-the-nose reference to light vs. dark and not just exposition about stopping the Starkiller, though it was also exposition.) I like to think that Han sorta knew that Kylo would kill him, and that he hoped it would eventually lead him to the light in some way and be worth it. But wow seeing Han fall hurts. OH AND LEIA. I FORGOT ABOUT LEIA KNOWING IMMEDIATELY AND JUST SINKING DOWN. OH I HURT. See. Finn’s literally just using a lightsaber like any other sword. Just hit your target with it. Because anyone can do that. Yes Rey! Summon that lightsaber! Earn that Binary Sunset! Trench run. Because Star Wars. Ok I gotta replay all of that because I was too busy getting lost in my mind about something and got distracted. Why is the Starkiller base falling apart? Ok got it, Poe hit a bunch of stuff that exploded. Cool.

Ok see. Some of the fans think fighting with a lightsaber is like a integral part of being one with the Force and being a Jedi. But literally, you just need to know is how to fight with a sword or a stick and you can fight with a lightsaber. The Force just means you’re better at predicting your opponent’s next moves, sensing the danger, knowing the best move to make, etc. That’s why Rey started winning against Kylo when he said “Join me and let me teach you the ways of the Force.” Before that, she’s just fighting like she would with her stick and all that’s doing is helping her survive and keep Kylo at bay, but she’s not winning. Being reminded that she’s Force sensitive let her tap into that and start incorporating that into the fight. Now she’s using the skills she already has, and using the Force to help her predict Kylo’s moves. She’s not magically good at using a lightsaber, she just already had skills that were easily transferable to a lightsaber and using the Force to enhance it.

I don’t think we’ve lost any arms yet in this movie, besides C-3PO off-screen.

OH. AND SNOKE SAYS KYLO NEEDS TO COMPLETE HIS TRAINING! He’s not even a full Sith Lord yet! He’s still being trained! So no, Rey did not just defeat a powerful Sith Lord, she defeated a Sith Lord in training. And she barely defeated him, he was already injured, she just fought hard enough to bring him to the ground. Then the ground literally separated them. Basically, I’m tired of people being mad that Rey has skills, she already had them. Plus, she’s not magically the most powerful Jedi ever like Ani was, she’s just strong. So go critique Ani for being literal space Jesus.

Oh Chewie. He’s alone saving Finn and Rey. My heart is breaking. All teams, Poe? You mean you and the other two who are left? Ok fine, there are a couple more X-Wings behind the Millennium Falcon. You and the other 6 who are left. Playing the Love Theme one last time. I am hurting. OH. NOW YOU WAKE UP, R2D2? NOW YOU WAKE UP? AFTER HAN DIES, YOU WAKE UP? Aww BB8′s like “Dad! Give me the map! I wanna put the puzzle together!” So I was right to be mad at R2D2. Literally sitting back, watching the drama, then at the end is like “Oh by the way, I have all the rest of the information you needed.” (Yes, I realize that I guess we’re supposed to infer that he spent all those years in low power mode trying to find the map, but whatever.) “May the Force be with you.” Oh Leia. Oh Carrie. Oh R2D2 NOW you’re excited. If you wanted to see Luke so bad, you should have found the map faster. You just know Luke knew they were coming, so he was like “Let me get my cloak out and stand on the highest point all mysteriously.” since he too lives for the drama (as we saw from all the flips in RotJ). Oh I love that ending so much. Some people think Last Jedi ruins the suspense of the ending. I love it. I love that Luke takes a minute to just stare at Rey and the lightsaber before deciding to chuck it over a cliff.

I’m watching the credits, and I noticed that Harrison gets first billing. I literally just said out loud “Why does Harri- ok no fine actually” since I realized this was his last Star Wars movie, so give him first billing. He deserves it.

So that’s the Force Awakens. Very enjoyable. I forget where I heard/read this, but the Force Awakens and Rogue One are like Star Wars comfort food. Super full of nostalgia.

And I do agree at least to an extent. Especially since the Force Awakens is like A New Hope all over again. A droid with a special message. Evil character with a spherical base that destroys planets. The evil Empire’s gone, but the evil First Order has taken over. And the Rebels are now the Resistance and are not that much better off than they were before.

But I LIVE for the nostalgia. Throughout the entirety of the prequels, I said that the best moments were the callbacks/references to the original series. The sequels do that better, so I really enjoy them.

Also I don’t actually hate R2D2. But the theory/idea that R2 is secretly a horrible person because of the fact he seems to know everything but never actually tell anyone what he knows is hilarious to me. And I never realized how well the Force Awakens fits into that theory. So it’s super funny to me.

Now hopefully, I can watch all of The Last Jedi tomorrow. I have a bit of a day... and this rewatch took like 4 hours since I literally paused every 2 seconds to write something. For the Last Jedi, I need to try to write less so I can pause less and finish the movie.