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markbandanawitts · 2 months ago

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A Full English Translation of Mine Yoshizaki’s 47 Question QnA 🔥🔥

— Near the end of the 11.5 Guidebook, Yoshizaki sat down for an exclusive interview with Shonen Ace (The magazine that serialized Keroro Gunso), where he answered some personalized questions about himself

I’ve translated all of them along with giving some context to certain media references in this w attached links. he’s talks exactly how you’d expect lmao

Q1: Yoshizaki-sensei, people often seem to think you’re a woman.

I guess it’s because my name reads as “Mine.” When I chose it, I only had the image of Ryuta Mine in my head. But judging by Keroro’s behavior, I think it’s pretty clear I’m not a woman (laugh)

Q2: What was the first manga you bought?

I had my uncle buy me one copy each of Kiteretsu Encyclopedia and Obake Q-Taro. I used to borrow Doraemon from a rental bookstore.

Q3: Do you still have them?

Nah, even if I did, they’d be unreadable by now. I reread them so much they fell apart.

Q4: Do you have a favorite place to read?

I haven’t been reading too much lately, but I love to in a quiet, cozy café.

Q5: Has anything recently made you feel like you’ve been tricked?

Actually, yeah. Not too long ago, a friend took me on a small trip. We hopped on the highway and drove quite a bit, and I had no idea why we were going where we were; but it was fun, so I didn’t think much of it. Later, when I got home and watched the episode of Kamen Rider Hibiki that I’d recorded that morning, I realized the episode was filmed in the exact spot we had visited! My friend hadn’t said a word! It caught me completely off guard, but honestly, it kind of made me pretty happy too.

Q6: Is there a character you look up to?

Oh, definitely Saeki-san (laugh)

Q7: Keroro’s gotten really popular. Anything about that make you happy?

Hearing that everyone involved with Keroro is having fun working on it is what makes me happy.

Q8: On the flip side, anything tough about it?

It seems like working on Keroro is also kind of exhausting (laugh)

Q9: If you could be any character in Keroro, who would you choose?

Maybe Poyon-chan. She seems so nice and fluffy.

Q10: Who would you like to live with?

I’d say the new characters, Alisa-chan and Nevula.

Q11: Why them in particular?

I feel like we could have a nice, quiet time in an old Western-style mansion.

Q12: Is there any invention from Kururu that you’d want?

Oh, definitely that one thing for making Gundam models!

Q13: What’s your favorite part of the manga drawing process?

Definitely when it’s finally completed (laugh)

Q14: What’s the toughest part?

Getting started (laugh)

Q15: What do you think of the illustrations in the first volume of Keroro?

What do I think? Well, it was my best effort seven years ago. There's something beyond just thinking "it's bad." Especially for Keroro, since I challenged myself to break my previous style and start from scratch, so there are definitely some awkward parts in there.

Q16: When do you draw the cover illustrations? At the beginning, in the middle, or at the end?

The inking is random, so it varies every time.

Q17: Do you pay attention to differentiating characters?

Sometimes I intentionally try not to differentiate them visually. I make their personalities distinct, so that can create a sense of difference. I’ve even tried going against silhouette theory a bit, which is directly reflected in characters like Keroro.

Q18: Which is more fun to draw, Keronians or Earthlings?

Keronians’ round eyes are a hassle, and Earthlings have too many lines... It’s a toss-up (laugh)

Q19: What about secondary characters? Which ones are fun to draw?

Every character becomes lively as soon as I draw them, so it's fun. To me, they’re all waiting in line to be drawn!

Q20: Any tips for drawing something you’ve never seen before?

Draw with your eyes closed!

Q21: Do you do anything to improve your drawing skills?

Since I started working, not really. I draw every day, so whatever I’m bad at stays bad, which can be a bit of an issue.

Q22: When creating a manga, do you start with the characters, story, or setting?

The theme. Something that instinctively feels like "that's it!" The rest comes after that.

Q23: When do you come up with story ideas?

I thrash my ideas around, trying to come up with something, and eventually, once I reach the mandatory state of resignation, it comes to me (laugh)

Q24: Which takes more time, storyboarding or drawing?

Storyboarding!

Q25: If you had to sum up the feeling of struggling to come up with storyboards in one word?

Ugh.

Q26: What’s something essential while you work?

Coffee, probably.

Q27: You’ve never taken a break from publishing, but do you ever want to? If so, when?

I always feel like I want to! Every single time, no matter what!

Q28: When do you usually draw your manga—morning, afternoon, or night?

My schedule is all over the place. I live on a 25-26 hour cycle, so when my timing is off, it tends to mess things up for a lot of people. It makes planning pretty difficult too.

Q29: What’s your favorite manga that you’ve drawn so far?

Definitely Keroro Gunso.

Q30: Do you think you’re better suited for one-shot manga or long series?

Considering the amount of ideas on my brain when working on Keroro storyboards, I think I’m better suited for long series.

Q31: Are you currently thinking about your next manga project?

Ideas come and go, honestly. Right now, I’m putting all my effort into Keroro!

Q32: Do you like your own manga?

When it comes to Keroro, I like it without hesitation.

Q33: If you were an editor, what would you tell yourself?

“You can take a three month break if you want.”

Q34: Are you comfortable with drawing manga in front of people?

I’m totally fine with it! But in reality, I usually work alone, holed up in my workspace.

Q35: Do you do anything for your health?

Not really… It’s bad… I feel like I’ve been sending out SOS signals lately (laugh)

Q36: Do you have any stress relief methods?

I never considered myself to be stressed, but recently my eye started twitching, and apparently, that’s a sign of stress. I was kind of surprised when I found that out!

Q31: There are 24 hours in a day, but how many hours would you really want?

48 hours would be great!!

Q38: Is there anything that influences your manga drawing?

I’m most influenced by the general atmosphere of the world around me.

Q39: How would you describe the feeling of racing through Okutama on your bike?

Yahoo!

Q40: Anything that’s stuck with you or left a strong impression recently?

The insurance commercial with soccer commentator Matsuki has really stuck with me… As for things, I’m obsessed with the NSF100 motorcycle— I want it so bad!

Q41: A memorable quote that’s stuck with you?

“Ramen is long and delicious!” (I have literally no idea what he’s referencing here my bad guys)

Q42: Since getting your cat, Mac, has your life changed?

My lifestyle hasn’t really changed, but it feels like my heart’s OS has been upgraded by about three versions!

Q46: Do you like traveling?

I like it, but I haven’t gone anywhere recently. If I could, I’d love to go with all my friends.

Q43: What’s the most wasteful thing you’ve ever spent royalties on?

Royalties, huh... (laugh) The other day, I saw a Keroro bath towel in a UFO catcher machine, and I had to get it. I ended up blowing ¥2,000* and still didn’t win it. I wonder if my royalties will cover that…

*this is like $14 😭

Q45: What are the things you love the most?

The Earth, my wife, and Mac (my cat).

Q46: What’s the most shocking thing you’ve experienced?

When I first moved to Tokyo, I saw an elementary school kid at Yotsuya Station wearing a backpack and smoking a cigarette. I thought, “Wow, Tokyo’s scary. Maybe I should just go home.” But I’m glad I didn’t because I became a manga artist (laugh)

Q47: What does drawing manga mean to you?

It’s about making people happy. That concept hasn’t changed since I was a kid making hand-drawn manga for my friends in elementary school.

Anddd heres my impressively terrible scans of those pages just in case anyone wanted the source

#this took me FOREVER the 11.5 guidebook doesn’t have any furigana #also bonus: i think the motorcycle he’s talking about here is Aki’s model #he’s so random #keroro gunso #sgt frog #keroro #mine yoshizaki #woah rare tag

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aihoshiino · 8 months ago

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chapter 145 thoughts!

what even was this chapter, y'all. i'm getting a migraine.

While it certainly wasn't actively bad, it basically hits on enough of the issues I've been having with the Movie Arc that if you've been reading my chapter reviews lately, you could probably write this one yourself. Weird pacing, skipping over interesting parts of the movie, continued framing of AQRB as a shallow gag and failing to follow on any of the implied development from or literally any referenced fallout of the kiss in 143? It's all here, babes. It would ultimately just be boring and redundant for me to go over all that at length again, so I won't.

I will however say that I'm pretty disappointed we're blasting through what had the potential to be some really interesting bits of postmortem characterization for Ai, even filtered through 15YL. I don't mind the manga breezing past scenes we saw firsthand but like… how did Ai react when she realized she was pregnant? How did she feel, especially given that Spica once again emphasized her longing for a family of her own? IDK. The way the story is suddenly jolting forwards in these last few chapters and skipping such huge chunks of Ai's life ultimately feels very strange and I don't know what to make of it yet.

Everyone reacting to Crow Girl's acting was pretty funny though I'm kind of exhausted with Ruby's Gaga-For-Oniichansensei Gag Character flanderization. IDK if my tolerance for it is just decreasing or if it really is amping up, but at least in the 125-137 stretch I at least got the sense that they could be in the same room and have a normal conversation but ever since 139, it feels that bit more relentless. I imagine this would be less irritating if we knew how the aftermath of 143 had played out but it really seems like the manga is going to drag this out until we're all old and grey.

THAT SAID, this chapter does confirm that Aqua's hoshigan stayed white after that chapter and… eh. Who even knows what that means lol. It does at least imply that his talk with Ruby has brought him back to Baseline Aqua but Baseline Aqua is still a guy with every single mental illness on planet earth so I don't know if that's the world's biggest W quite yet. It certainly implies an improvement over double black hoshigan but… again, with Aqua being so totally cut off from the readers this whole arc and no idea of what happened in the aftermath of 143, it's impossible to make a meaningful guess as to wtf is going on with Aqua right now.

Oh yeah, uh. This chapter also I guess constitutes the reveal of how the AQRB reincarnation happened. I guess LMAO. Honestly, I don't have much to say about it other than it feels like a bit of an anticlimax for me? The idea works fine, the execution just left me… idk. Whelmed at best, underwhelmed at most. I feel like this backstory and the implied deep fondness for GRSR -> AQRB it implies doesn't really like up with the personality she displays in the Private arc but like, I kind of feel like she was tossed into the story without Akasaka having a clear idea as to what her role was even going to turn into so maybe that's not a surprise LOL

I will say I'm glad this seems to quash the theory that Aqua and Ruby were secretly capital-G Gods, instead framing it as a Tsuru no Ongaeshi type return of kindness to two otherwise mundane people. There was some fun fan theorizing around the idea, but for me personally, Oshi no Ko is most interesting when it focuses on that aspect of the story Akasaka highlighted in an interview recently, of human relationships being warped by the entertainment industry and I think an explosion of the emotional stakes to the cosmic scale of AQRB (or tbh any of the characters) being Secretly Gods All Along would be a bit of a shark jump for me and would really shift away from what I like about the series most.

That's kind of it for this one…! Not really a lot to say about this chapter, which is why most of this review was me explaining why I didn't have a lot to say about it.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #chapter reviews #onk spoilers

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celticcrossanon · 9 months ago

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Dear Celta, what a collaboration you’ve had with @ladykinrannoch you’re very complimentary to each others style of tarot reading. Something came up in the last day or so as to what Harry might be holding over Camilla/Charles. Feel free to not post this ask, as it’s just my ruminations and it may just be a wild conspiracy theory.

In considering how William feels about the press I made a post yesterday about how William came to distrust the media. In casting back into the past I recalled the forged financial statement, and the lie that was told to Diana that William was wearing a watch with a listening device. A huge question came up. WHO would have so much influence that they would convince a staff member off the BBC that Diana would be susceptible to these lies. WHO had that much influence that they would bring this to bear, to bring this level of malevolence to the Princess of Wales. To push her over the edge in such a personal, cruel and sadistic manner??? I remember that the BBC laid the blame squarely at Martin Brasheer’s feet and closed the investigation down without delving into the source of the forgery. Oh Brasheer was that creative and instinctively knew she would fall for this. But the more I think about the more I see a possible influence there.

Also Harry was living at Highgrove when William went to uni. So he was on his own with C&C. Is it possible that he overheard them speaking about the BBC and Martin Brasheer interview in a totally different way? Did they reveal themselves in a certain conversation that Harry overheard??? Is this the source of the blackmail?

Remember the Queen was wise, she knew a divorce would weaken the monarchy, and she didn’t have any constructive advice for Diana about her marriage since she herself couldn’t control Charles. Is it possible that C&C colluded with the BBC to concoct this false story with the aim of making Diana look crazy and paranoid. The lies did convince her to give that infamous interview which started the ball rolling towards her death in Paris. It started a chain of events which culminated in that car crash in Paris.

Diana refused the Queen’s offer of Ravec security after the divorce. At a minimum she would have had a sober driver. I bet they didn’t foresee how this would tragically play out.

Both you and Lady K’s readings were very clear, it had to do with C&C ‘s marriage, or origin of marriage. Harry is dumb, he’s no constitutional expert, he couldn’t possibly know the ins and out of a Catholic and Anglican divorce and marriage in relation to the monarchy and being head of the church. But he is cunning, and he may have realized later on what it is he heard especially years later after Martin Brasheer took the fall for the BBC. In the 90s both Charles and Camilla together, and Diana separately were involving the press in their war with each other. It just came out recently in a book this year that Camilla was in weekly contact with this journalist, so she also may have been needling Diana in the press, separately from Charles.

If this resonates with you, please consider asking your cards who influenced the BBC to go down this road with Diana. Who gave them the ideas of the forged financial statements and the William watch lie. Imagine the cruelty of such a lie, it looks very personal to me.

Thanks for reading my screed Celta.

Hi AnonymousRetired,

Thank you for the kind words about the duet reading. I appreciate them very much.

I do want to look more into that reading and what came out of it, but it won't be tonight - I am just too tired.

You raise very valid points about the Panorama interview. The forged statement may have been all from Bashir, or other people may have been involved. There was no investigation so it is likely that we shall never know.

I can believe Charles and Camilla firing shots at Diana through the press. The whole time period of the four year separation and divorce was horrible in terms of what was revealed and was was said in the papers.

I will add the tarot reading to my list and consider it when I have more energy. :) Thank you for sharing your theories with me. I always like hearing what other people have to say.

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xxjadeablexx · 10 months ago

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Hazbin Hotel Synopsis

Salutations! My name is Jade and I have to make a blog for my Composition class. When given a free range of topics, I decided to write about Hazbin Hotel. Mainly character information, headcannons, theories. You know, that kinda stuff. I realized for my professor to care about any of this stuff, she probably needs to know about the show. And I highly doubt she already does. So! let's get into a basic rundown of the show, in mostly my own words. Obviously, spoilers ahead. On October 28th, 2019, YouTube channel "Vivziepop" uploaded a video named "HAZBIN HOTEL (PILOT)." The video soon blew up, and got praise and backlash for the idea of the show. It got a lot of criticism for being an animated musical, since those are mainly geared towards children. However, Hazbin hotel is a show with a target audience of 18+ (weird to think I was like 15 when this came out.) With many dark themes including commentary on the toxicity of the porn industry, this show is obviously not meant for children.

Despite the backlash, it obviously did something right, because in early 2020, before the second episode could come out, A24, an American independent film company, decided to take the concept and make a whole series out of it. Four years later, on January 19th, 2024, the show's first series was released on Amazon Prime. The show follows the Princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar. She is a very energetic demon who believes the sinners in hell deserve a second chance. She builds a hotel and basically gets laughed at by everyone. But after getting back to it after an interview about said hotel, there's a knock on the door. We then meet one of my favorite characters, Alastor. Alastor is known as the "radio demon." He offers to help Charlie with the hotel. Charlie says yes and that's kinda the end of the pilot.

Alastor then enlists the help of Husk, a cat-like demon who runs the bar, and Niffty, a small cyclops who does the cleaning. It is immediately evident that Alastor is a powerful demon. He is known as an "overlord," and is feared by many, having the ability to control basically anyone, along with summoning help for any number of things.

As the show goes on we find out that redemption is basically impossible. The angels literally laugh in Charlie's face when she suggests it. Adam, the first human soul in Heaven and angel, lets it out that his army "exterminates' sinners and demons like once a year (which later gets changed to 6 months and then 1 month.) This upsets Emily, a Seraphim who shares the views of Charlie. Emily and Charlie say that:

If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie (Emily!)

If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky

The rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say

When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again.

Adam then says he will see them in 1 month instead of 6. (this is apparently because of a major timeskip, but I feel like it wasn't really explained like that in the show. it really just reads that Adam keeps moving up the date cause he's a prick that wants to kill all the demons.) Charlie decides to take things into her own hands and finds someone who knows how to Kill the Angels. So, what does she do? She gets her own army, her own weapons, and the guts to kill, and proceeds to kill literally any angel she can. Alastor gets injured and is unable to fight off Adam, which ends up fine because Niffty kills him. The scene is actually hilarious because Niffty is described as “10 pounds soaking wet,” by Angel Dust. So this tiny demon who was given a knife and told “stab any angel you see,” kills what is essentially the hardest angel to even touch. That's like the president dying from a mosquito bite.

That’s not even mentioning Sir Pentious, who originally tries to kill Adam. After Alastor is killed, Sir Pentious decides to go after Adam himself. Pentious is one of the most cowardly characters in the whole show. He is so scared to confess to a girl at some point, that upon her questioning why he bought her a drink, he says “Because i bought everyone drinks!” when he hadn’t but then he does because everyone hears him. He does that like 2 more times and the situation repeats himself, even when the drinks turn into sex. He is too cowardly to admit to liking her that he has sex with a stranger instead of just confessing. But I digress, because he redeems himself by going after Adam. He resolves. He confesses to his crush. He kisses her. And then Adam kills him like, almost immediately. Despite Pentious being a coward, he isn’t weak in any sense of the word. He is a skilled inventor with many war machines that could have killed Adam. Adam just kinda snapped and suddenly Pentious and his minions and his blimp are dead. But Niffty, a masochistic, child-like cyclopes kills Adam. I love Niffty, but how does that work?

It fine though, because Sir Pentious ends up in Heaven. His sacrifice for his friends proves enough that after he dies, he ends up in Heaven in front of Sera and Emily, the Seraphim. Thats the end. The last thing we see of the main plot is confused faces and a less dark version of Sir Pentious.

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #angel dust #sir pentious #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor

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alex51324 · 3 months ago

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OK, so I'm now caught up on Interview With the Vampire (TV). I have some observations:

Wow, was that trial ever a master-class in poor-little-meow-meowification! I was legit getting flashbacks from the (season 1-hiatus) Izzy Trenches, with the whole, "Pointing out that he doesn't have to put up with my behavior, and he wouldn't recommend anyone else do so either, is--due to Meow-Meow's personal circumstances--an act of such exquisite cruelty that it excuses pretty much anything he does while he's upset about it," and "sure, yeah, this thing Meow-Meow did sounds bad to you normies, but because we're pirates vampires it's barely anything; a slight loss of temper for which he should be forgiven completely because the other dude said something mean", thing, plus the side of "Oh, but that threatening to leave is the most brutal form of abuse thing applies only to Meow-Meow, and in only one direction; it's fine for decide to part ways with anyone else at any time for any reason, and nobody else has any right to find that at all upsetting."

(To be clear, I genuinely liked this in IWTV; it was interesting seeing an audience falling eagerly into this trap, when the audience is also fictional, and the show itself is winking and nodding to us about it.)

(I do wonder if the show is going to grapple with this at all next season--the reunion suggests that Louis had also fallen into this trap. I'm unconvinced by the fan-theories suggesting that Lestat was an unwilling participant in the trial; there might have been some use of vampire mind-powers to keep him on-script during the proceedings, but I think he genuinely didn't realize he gave a shit about Claudia until it was too late.)

2. The aging-up of Claudia's character (she was a little little girl in the books) puts her at right about the same age as The Vampire Currently Known As Armand was when he was originally sex trafficked as a human, and I wonder about that stirring up some long-buried feelings. Does the grotesque parody of innocence inherent in Baby LuLu have some parallel in his experience as a sexually exploited child? What happened to Arun--or to Amadeo, even--if he failed to play his part with a reasonable facsimile of enthusiasm?*

On the one hand, I'm interested in these potential parallels; on the other hand (glancing back up at point 1), it's a tricky needle to thread, to see these parallels as contextualizing Armand's actions, but not excusing them. I do not entirely trust fandom not to turn this into, "Well, she reminded him of His Worst Trauma, so everything he did to her was basically self-harm, and he pretty much had to kill her in order to achieve closure on that period of his life**."

(*Some of this may be addressed in the books? The Vampire Armand came out on the waning edge of my Anne Rice phase; I'm pretty sure I read it, but I don't remember much about it, and I don't have a copy. The parallels with Claudia wouldn't be, though, because in the books she was 5.)

(**Izzy Trenches flashbacks again.)

3. As someone who read the books back in the day, I appreciated the brief mention in S1 that Louis's grandfather had owned a plantation, worked by men who "shared his complexion but not his circumstances." To me, that line opened up the possibility of reimagining Book!Louis as also being Black.

(To be clear, he canonically could not have been; beyond that fact that It Would Have Come Up, in the first few pages--which I just re-read--he is described as being bone-white. Even if he was mixed and white-passing, it doesn't quite work.

However, Anne Rice did write a book, Feast of All Saints, about a mixed-race protagonist, who was the son of a slave owner and a woman he enslaved. I remember almost nothing about it, except that the white father had promised to free him and send him abroad to be educated, but broke that promise. Porting some of that over onto a book-canon-era Black Louis could be very interesting.

I'd have to re-read both books--and probably TVL, too--to be able to even think about writing it, which is...unlikely, but I put that idea out into the universe.)

#interview with the vampire #I am late to every party #I think I read up to Merrick in the OG days #but the ones I re-read obsessively were just the first four #up to Body Thief #and even that one I don't think I read as much as the others #I remember it being kind of cheesy #TVL is the one that my copy is basically falling apart

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buckgettingstruck · 5 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/buckgettingstruck/755111868240150528/maaaybe-oliver-doesnt-post-about-bucktommy?source=share

I know we have mostly moved on, but I saw that nobody brought up the Arielle hate, so I will tell you the 911 on that. Arielle and the Lucy character was an unmitigated disaster of Kristen’s own making. When it was announced that Arielle was being brought on for 5B, a lot of fans were excited about finally getting another female firefighter. Kristen fumbled this so badly because she had too many things going on offset - Taylor’s arc was supposed to end in 5A, but then Michael’s actor wouldn't get the vaccine and was barred from set and availability of other mains - that she didn't realize how bad the introduction of the character was.

Everyone was so excited on 5B premiere day because the cast seemed to get along with Arielle and thought this meant big things for the FireFam and the new character. Expectations turned sour when the Buck/Lucy kiss was leaked hours before the premiere and people were pissed! Cheating is not liked in the fandom - as we saw that this past season with Eddie - but fans didn't believe that cheating was a Buck trait after how long he waited for Abby.

Kristen thought she had it made, she introduced a female firefighter and used the Eddie type of introduction to solidify the connection from the first rescue. We have to remember that this was also around the time that she shut down Buddie hard and Kristen was slowly realizing the Taylor coupling wasn't working with the audience (my conspiracy theory is that she believed Taylor was endgame), even after changing her personality and giving her a backstory that majorly backfired. She thought getting rid of Taylor would help warm people up to Lucy when all it did was get people mad and kind of feel sorry for Taylor (even the Buddie fans).

To be honest, Kristen was totally okay with pissing off the Buddie fans because she thought she had the general audience on her side. What she didn't realize is that while not a lot of people liked Taylor, BT still had their fans within the general audience and she basically killed the Lucy character with that kiss. Now you had even fewer people liking the new potential pairing compared to the older/not well-liked pairing of BT.

What made matters worse is that Kristen totally banked on people liking Lucy and a Lucy/Buck romance that PR already had a ton of interviews lined up for Arielle after the premiere and even a joint one with Kristen/Arielle/Oliver. In this interview, they all teased this potential romance between Buck and Lucy and that Buck was going to stay with Taylor, but be emotionally cheating with Lucy. The backlash was so loud that night and the weeks that followed that a lot of her scenes that were previewed in interviews by Arielle and Kristen had to be cut because of the audience’s loud dislike.

I put most of the blame on Kristen because a lot of the storytelling and actions made it seem like she promised Arielle a lead role for the next season and a romance with the main guy. The one part that I believe is Arielle’s PR team’s fault is that they shoved her spotlight because of this maybe promise from Kristen. She was doing so many interviews during 5B (almost every week and multiple) that fans were sick of her. A big joke that fans love bringing up is that Arielle had a constant line of “flirting and poking” that she would use in every interview. It took her team a long while to read the room about the response to her character. During these interviews, Arielle would also constantly drop spoilers that had to be cut because of the audience’s reaction to her. You can sometimes see the editing around her lines, especially in scenes in the truck and it is very awkward because people are either answering a question from her character or responding to something she said.

In conclusion, the Arielle hate was because of how badly Kristen fucked up. 5B is where a lot of criticisms came to light about Kristen’s timeline, writing choices, characters, storylines, etc. She can be a good writer when someone tells her what to write, but she can't handle show-running duties and determining story arcs and pacing for episodes and season-long storylines.

ahh good to know!!! i wasnt sure about the lucy/arielle aspect of it all so good to know. i dont want to hate on kristen like i feel a lot of the fandom does because i do believe she’s written good episodes etc but it seems like as showrunner a lot of things were mishandled. not that tim is any better rn but hopefully that improves

(also! if anyone else sends asks about this specific incident from yesterday i probably wont reply to it unless its something new because we’ve kinda beat a dead horse into the ground here)

#asks #also last part wasnt directed at you anon

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gwenyn28 · 4 months ago

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Debunking the „Invisible Strings“ Theory and more

Invisible strings – who hasn’t heard about that in any fandom? The true love. Faith. Soulmates. A forever kind of anything. This is what every fan wants for their favorite ship, right? Especially when it is two characters who have a built up. Share a story.

And if this theory turns into more, into the aforementioned “soulmatism” after these two characters got together, who wouldn’t be head over heels for it?

In my former post I explained some basic screenwriting rules, especially the “Show don’t tell” one. You can read it here if you want to.

Because there was and still is a big discourse in the fandom about the “They are made for each other and they are their endgame” I want to look at a few things concerning these theories and what happened on screen through the lens of the “Show don’t tell” rule.

Let’s start with the biggest part and what is mentioned in the post’s title.

The Invisible String Theory

To understand what I am talking about I will give you a short summary what this theory is about.

“Buck and Tommy are connected through invisible strings. Tommy left the 118 and Buck joined, taking his place metaphorically speaking and also literally speaking because he now sits at Tommy’s former seat at the 118’s dinner table. Later on, on a call where there was a big gas leak and a house was almost exploding (Eddie was inside with a kid, hiding in a bathtub) Chimney who was off duty at that time called Tommy to help. Tommy flew past that call to spill water all over the place and Buck looked up, watching his future boyfriend. There is also a connection through the episode “Buck actually” where Buck met Thomas and Mitchell, an older gay couple, who died together. Mitchell and Buck talked a bit about love and Mitchell said the famous phrase “You don’t find it, son, you make it.” Connecting this to Tommy due to the name of Mitchell’s love (Thomas) and because Tommy’s favorite movie is “Love actually” (said in one of the ‘Begins’ episodes).”

So, these are the main points for the theory. If I forgot any detail, I apologize. But it wouldn’t change that much about my interpretation if the summary had more details.

First of all: I could quite easily debunk and kind of nip this whole theory in the bud with one big point. Tommy coming back for season 7 was a last-minute decision. He was not the first choice so this thing between him and Buck being planned years ago? The seed being planted back then? Doesn’t fit.

Tommy (as a love interest for Buck) was kind of plan c (?) if I recall it correctly.

First idea was to bring back Lucy Donato. She can fly a helicopter (we saw that in the bridge rescue in season 6). Her not being available due to the actress’ new show was a last-minute thing. It can be seen on the form Hen submitted at Harbor. In the form the name of the requested pilot is “Lucy Donato” and not “Tommy Kinard”. That shows that the switch was not planned early and kind of made last-minute. If Lucy would have been brought back as an old new love interest for Buck, we will never know.

Second problem was that Natalia’s actress was also unavailable. Her character and Buck were in a relationship at the end of season 6 and this would have lasted into season 7. But instead, due to the lack of availability, they broke up over hiatus and she was never mentioned again. Therefore, Buck was without a big storyline and without a love interest. Because Tim, the showrunner, had it already in mind that Buck would and should realize some things about his sexuality (Buck has always been queer/bi-coded and Oliver has played and/or decided to play him like that) they decided now would be the right time. Buck’s story arc wouldn’t need that much time and so it could fit into the shortened season.

To get Buck to this realization that he could be attracted to men as well as women, there was a catalyst needed. Tim said in one of his interviews early on in season 7 that he didn’t want to invent a completely new character for that. Therefore he “recycled” an old one – Tommy. To give Buck an entry-level relationship that he can explore this new side of him a bit. But he also said that it wouldn’t be anything more than that. Even Lou, Tommy’s actor, stated the same in an interview he gave that Tommy was kind of the practice round for Buck.

And don’t mind that Lou mentioned in the same interview that Tommy was first brought back to be a love interest for Eddie but then they switched it to Buck, probably because to the reasons above.

To sum this part up:

Tommy being Buck’s soulmate and this being the plan in the long run doesn’t make sense when you look at the way of decision making.

But okay, benefit of the doubt. Let’s still look at the theory in detail.

Buck joining the 118 and sitting in Tommy’s seat

Mitchell’s husbands name

Episode title vs. “Love, actually”

I admit that these three things could be interpreted as something with a deeper meaning. But it could be also interpreted as nothing. Let’s dive into the screenwriting for a moment.

Like I said before it is quite essential to “Show don’t tell”. These three points might be big in the part of that ship’s fandom but the casual viewer doesn’t remember any of that. If it had been important and the show had wanted to lean into the theory they would have used some narrative devices. Like flashbacks. For example:

The moment Buck learns that Tommy’s name is Thomas we could see a short flashback to Mitchell and Thomas and the conversation Buck had with the former. Or another flashback where Tommy sits at the table and then fades and Buck sits down in the same spot. So that the general audience would make this connection. That they would have their “oh” moment, realizing that Tommy and Buck are really connected on a deeper level and made for each other. Or at least that there is something more to their relationship.

But we don’t see any of that. Just the hardcore fans remember the episode “Buck, actually” actually. Because for us these moments with Mitchell are so important and a valid part in a lot of fanfics on both sides. The casual viewer? They probably won’t even remember the episodes they watched three weeks ago. An episode that aired in 2018? Well… just no.

Buck looked up at the plane

For this point I will take off the screenwriter’s hat again because I can explain it without any screenwriting rules.

We know that Tommy is a helicopter pilot who works at Harbor. He also was a pilot in the army. I am sure that not many people know that but if you are a pilot doesn’t mean that you can fly anything that goes up into the air.

Imagine the same with a driver’s license. Just because you got your license for a normal car you are not automatically able to drive a truck, a tank, a motorbike, a bus etc. Most vehicles need special licenses so that you are able to drive them.

And the same goes for anything that flies. Tommy is able to fly a helicopter and he has a license for that. But being able to fly a plane? Okay, screenwriter’s hat on again because I noticed that I need this for the next few sentences. It is possible that a person has more than one license. And Tommy could be one of them, being able to fly a helicopter AND a plane. But again. We don’t know and nobody told us that he can. We know him as the helicopter pilot. Connecting him to the plane? To make this connection someone would have to mention it on the show that the audience can see “Oh, Tommy flew that plane and saved them all”. And screenwriter’s hat off.

Chimey said that he called Tommy for help and I totally believe he did that. Because Tommy is connected to people who can help with air support. So, it was Chimney’s obvious choice to ask him. But it makes more sense that Tommy asked someone else to fly that plane to help instead of flying it himself due to the aforementioned license thing.

And if we now think that it’s more likely that someone else flew that plane, the theory that Buck looked up to see his future boyfriend flying in to save him (and others) makes no sense anymore. (And yes, I ignore the point that kind of everyone was looking up because there was a damn fucking plane coming to the rescue and nobody says that the pilot is Bobby’s soulmate… or Hen’s… or any of the other people who were around back then.)

I think I properly explained why the “Invisible String Theory” might be a nice fandom created idea but it makes no sense in the long run, realistically speaking on a tv show level. Too many things don’t add up and make no sense storytelling wise.

Let’s hop on to other things in that context.

2. The whole “Evan” thing

Fans and the general audience alike know what kind of relationship Buck has with his given name. He never says he hates it. But he shows it more than once or it is shown that his chosen name holds a special place in his heart, and not his given name.

Buck talks with his parents as they visit him at the station. When his father calls him “Evan” Buck interrupts him and tells him that his name is Buck. People who know him call him “Buck”.

When Buck is down after the I think the warehouse fire Athena talks to him and cheers him up. She gives him a pep talk and ends it with “That’s what being Buck means to me.”

In the coma episode coma!Bobby and coma!Buck talk before Buck realizes that he should escape this coma dream. It is about his name as well. That he is Buck. And not Evan.

There are a few other examples, I just listed the three most obvious ones, I think.

In conclusion we can say that Buck prefers this chosen name over his given name for several reasons. He accepted being Buck and not just Evan.

Now Tommy comes in and calls Buck Evan all the time. We even know that Lou has been told to just call Buck Evan as Tommy and not Buck. Why could that be?

People are saying that Buck reclaims his name, being called Evan is him being more mature. Or even that it is something special because only Tommy is allowed to call him Evan. But are these really the reasons? I doubt it.

We know that Buck has a complicated relationship with his name as stated earlier (family issues etc.). Why would he all of a sudden want to reclaim this name, to show him being more grown up? After the lightning strike and the follow up coma we saw him already grown up. Grown into the name, being comfortable with being Buck. Because being Buck is enough. Why would he all of a sudden decide that now he wants to be called Evan again after the audience has already experienced his growth in season 6 where he feels good as Buck, not Evan? And even if he wanted to be called Evan now for reasons, why would he not tell everyone to switch the name?

From a screenwriter’s perspective it is quite simple. Tommy being the only one calling him Evan is important. But not in the way people think it is. Not because it shows a special connection or because of a deep bond. On the contrary. Remember the phrase Buck said to his father. “People who know me…” It is more of a “Tommy doesn’t know Buck” thing. With this simple action the general audience notices that something is off between Tommy and Buck. Because the audience knows Buck’s preference and some might even remember all the reasons why (most might remember that it has something to do with his family).

“Language” is a very effective narrative device. Using certain words or how characters talk to each other can deliver a message for the audience. Screenwriters use this device so that they don’t have to actively say something but the audience will still get it. In this case: Nobody has to say that Tommy ignores Buck’s chosen name and that something feels off about it, the audience sees that he does and that it is.

Now people might say “But Buck hasn’t stopped him” and yes, I agree. Buck has not stopped him with the whole “Evan” thing. It could be simply because he still has to get used to his first relationship with a man, exploring stuff etc. Or it could be deeper and be rooted in his abandonment issues, unconsciously scared that if he tells Tommy to change the name that Tommy will leave. And Buck failed another relationship.

There could have been some possibilities to explain this name thing. Like Buck telling Tommy explicitly that he wants to be called Evan. Or Tommy asks Buck about it because he notices that he’s the only one calling him Evan and Buck states that he is okay with it because he likes it when Tommy does (this could have given a nice little look into their relationship and could have been a sweet moment.)

But nothing like that happened. We just hear Tommy call Buck Evan every time he appears on screen. And this is intentional, the intention behind even backed up through the instruction for Lou not to say Buck.

“Show, don’t tell”. Tommy uses the “wrong” name for Buck while the audience knows what Buck prefers. So, it feels off for people who watch the show and we get to see a relationship where both parts aren’t really on the same level.

3. Buck’s big “coming out”

There are people who complain about the way it was shown on screen. They argue that Tommy could have told Buck how he looked. And they are mad at him for that. That it was a forced coming out and that it was a shitty move from Tommy etc.

I don’t agree with that. Because I wouldn’t look that deep into it. In the end this scene had just one purpose - a subtle coming out for Buck. We know that they were already running low on time that episode, cutting of scenes almost worth one complete episode. So, Buck coming out to everyone else besides Maddie and Eddie? Would have taken too much time. The “soot face” scene was more effective and delivered the message to Buck’s friends and the audience. That Buck is out now.

I want to focus more on another part of the hospital scenes. The one when Buck and Tommy kissed. (And no, I don’t want to talk about that it was kind of out of character for Buck to leave Maddie’s wedding to go see Tommy because that is something else to discuss at another time maybe.)

Hardcore fans were happy about this scene and yes, I get it. Tommy promised to be at the wedding and he was. And they kissed. Great. Your ship sailed at that moment. But the moment people went deeper in and romanticized it that Tommy came to see Buck even after he fought a fire, I have to put my foot in.

Let’s put off the shipper’s googles for a second.

Tommy being at the hospital was just for one purpose. That Buck could come out to his friends and that the audience knows that he is out now to everyone and doesn’t have to hide anymore. Nothing else.

Because if we look deeper into it, there are some questions. Tommy works at Harbor. They usually do the air support. Why would he arrive at the hospital with a fire engine in full turn out? If you are on-call duty you usually aren’t for a different job. Compare it to a doctor maybe. If you are on call as an eye doctor you wouldn’t be called in to do a brain surgery. Especially such an expert like Tommy, a pilot, wouldn’t be used for normal fire-fighting that could keep him occupied when an emergency occurs that needs a pilot.

Therefore, him coming in with a turnout full of soot, having just fought a fire, was solely for getting the soot on Buck’s face. Their kiss was to remind the audience that they were still seeing each other even after their failed date and the coffee-date to get out the invite for the wedding.

There was no deeper meaning behind it and the writers used that scene to deliver a subtle coming out without Buck telling everyone.

Interpreting it as “Tommy came to see Buck even if he worked so hard in these past hours” and “he didn’t even go home to clean up himself because he wanted to rush to Buck” is looking too deep into this. (And just to mention, even Buck cleaned up and switched clothes although his sister’s wedding had to be cancelled because the groom was missing and Maddie was going crazy about it. But Buck went and cleaned himself up.)

4. The Bachelor Party

Yes, I know. There is a big controversy about it, especially Tommy’s reaction. Let’s analyze this.

Tommy didn’t dress up even though Buck told him that the party was 80s themed. Instead of just saying that he didn’t have much time and couldn’t find a fitting outfit, he stated “They had Henley’s in the 80s” in a very condescending tone and made somehow fun of Buck and Eddie for their Miami Vice costumes. “What are you, the Wedding singers?” (reference to a movie where the two people who are meant for each other are with the wrong people but that is not the point here).

The point is that Tommy did not put any effort in it. The audience knows how Buck can get with these things. Remember Clipboard!Buck and him being Firemarshal. The audience even saw in the previous scenes how important this party was for Buck. He really wanted to throw it for Chimney and was totally into it.

Tommy reacting so poorly was a mood dampener and we could see that in Buck’s (and Eddie’s) reaction.

Now, people explained that he was on call and that this was why he didn’t dress up. Usually, if you are on call, even as a First Responder (or especially as one), you have to switch into a uniform to work. Doctors, nurses throw on their scrubs, police officers wear their uniform, firefighters theirs etc. He could have easily worn something different. Tommy did not know if he would be called in or not. But he decided against it, wore a Henley and made a joke about Buck (and Eddie) being dressed up.

How can you analyze this from a screenwriter’s point of view?

If they had wanted to establish the relationship between Buck and Tommy further, we would have been shown stuff that would let the audience have another “Oh, they are into each other” moment.

For example: Tommy could have worn something colorful or fun, just a shirt or something and they could have had a sweet little exchange about it. Or he could have explained to Buck in a normal way why he decided to go with the Henley. Or, and that is a major point, he could not have been on call in the first place and could have partied the whole night with Buck (and Eddie, or even without Eddie to give us more couple time). But he did neither of that.

It was an intentional choice to not dress him up and let him even act kind of condescending towards Buck concerning the outfit. It was also an intentional choice to make him leave. Him staying could have shown the two of them in a more relationship way, how they act around each other, how much fun they have together. But the writers refrained from this to a. show the disconnect between Tommy and Buck and b. not to dive deeper into their relationship and to show it to the general audience.

The bachelor party was the fifth scene we saw Buck and Tommy together – the first one at Harbor when they were interrupted by Eddie, the kiss in Buck’s kitchen, their failed date, the coffee date and now the bachelor party.

In none of these scenes the writer’s focus was to establish their relationship. For the audience it is still not really shown what kind of relationship these two have, especially not that it is such a lovely one like some fans claim it to be.

While I mentioned all their scenes until now, I want to go back to one and talk about this one as a last point.

5. Their first date

In episode 7x04 which is completely from Buck’s (unreliable) point of view we got the kissing scene when Tommy asked Buck out for a date. Ignore the “My attention? – I guess.” for a moment even though it probably is important. Remember, anything is intentional and not just because they had no clue what else to write. But this is not what I want to focus on here.

The whole episode was from Buck’s point of view and the audience learnt that Tommy is a lot like Eddie. They have so much in common – the military, Muay Thai, repairing cars etc. The audience learns that Buck seems to like Tommy who is similar to Eddie and that they kind of click.

Now we jump to the next episode and Buck’s and Tommy’s first date and the writer’s intentions switch. While thinking that Buck and Tommy would be a good fit after the last episode the audience now learns that there are differences between the two of them.

I don’t want to excuse Buck’s reaction, the “hot chicks” comment was misplaced. But thinking about it you could at least understand it. He is not out yet, just noticing his attraction to guys a few days prior and is now on a date with a man for the first time… and bumps into his best friend. It is just human that he panics and says something stupid. Still, it was needed that he apologized for that.

Tommy’s actions on the other hand were more than just a bit misplaced. His “closet” comment could have outed Buck in front of his best friend. Luckily, Eddie (and Marisol) was oblivious enough that the comment flew past their heads. Immediately after, Tommy ended the date and ordered himself an uber.

Again. Until then I could explain this by “he is mad at the comment Buck made, feeling like being shoved back into the closet” etc. I would agree. I wouldn’t be on that level myself because I think rudeness shouldn’t be countered with rudeness but okay. Everybody acts differently.

Now, to really end the date, the writers made another intentional choice. They could have shown that Tommy still cares about Buck, that Buck is important to him. They could have made him say something like that Buck isn’t ready and that he understands him but doesn’t want to go back into the closet. Something like that. He could have shown some empathy. He could have explained his want to end the date so that the viewer could relate and understand him.

But instead, the writers chose Tommy not to talk to Buck. Until the moment the uber stopped at the curb, Buck (and the audience) is still thinking that they are going to the movies. Then Tommy abruptly ends the date and drives away while Buck stands alone at the curb, staring at the leaving car. (Concerning his abandonment issues this is kind of heartbreaking.)

Every message, every action Tommy did after Buck’s comment could be explainable on its own. But sum everything up and it leaves the viewer with another off feeling – the closet comment, ending the date without saying so, leaving Buck on the curb.

Even later on when Buck met up with Tommy again at the coffee shop, Tommy did not apologize. I wouldn’t go that far and say that Tommy is gaslighting Buck. But he explains his actions with “You are not ready”. He probably doesn’t see that he did something wrong or that he could have handled the situation better.

The viewer starts to think about that relationship and that they maybe did not click that much like everyone thought at first. Nobody probably thinks that Tommy is a villain here. Just that he is probably the wrong fit for Buck.

There are a few more other scenes between Buck and Tommy and each one of them can be analyzed through the screenwriter’s lens. But probably there won’t be anything new that hasn’t been stated already. So, just a short summary of three scenes that are worth a comment.

During the medal ceremony when Buck is happy about the award (it is obviously his first) Tommy makes a comment – “Enjoy it while it lasts.” This shows another time that they are not on the same level and they don’t really match. Tommy just sees himself and cannot be happy for Buck. Therefore, he makes that slightly deprecative comment and Buck face falls.

While Bobby is in the hospital, being dead for 14 minutes and now in a coma afterwards, Buck is worried sick. Everyone knows that Bobby is his surrogate father. He wants to share this with Tommy who turns it into a joke, not really taking Buck seriously and listening to his concerns and fears. And Buck’s face falls again.

While Hen and Karen try to interrogate Tommy about his intentions with Buck (kind of a shovel talk), he deflects and makes jokes that are misplaced.

If you look at all of these things mentioned above - from the name calling, comments and certain scenes - from a writing perspective you can see that these were deliberate choices. There were enough moments to really establish the blooming relationship. To make Tommy likable.

First, he could have been on screen more so that the audience would see their relationship like we do with all the other couples. For example, like Athena and Bobby dancing together on the cruise ship. Did it add to the storyline per se? No. But it showed them being a couple and in love. There could have been small little scenes like that with Buck and Tommy. But the writers and the showrunner decided not to show any.

And remember. For the general audience things have to be shown that they will be able to relate to the characters and accept things into the narrative. So, if there are no e.g. domestic scenes between Buck and Tommy, nobody will believe they have a sweet little domestic relationship.

Second, the few scenes they had Tommy could have been written differently. Except in 7x04 where we saw the whole story through Buck’s eyes, he was always stiff and condescending, making misplaced comments and jokes. The writers could have given him lines where he e.g. supports Buck after he is worried about Bobby. Or an apology at the coffee date where they both decide to start over. There were many chances to make him a fit for Buck, to give him scenes and lines for the audience to relate to. So that we can see him as the fit for Buck people claim him to be.

But, the show did neither. There was just a limited number of scenes and the lines Tommy had were never really supportive or sweet towards Buck. All in all, the writers went full in with the “Show don’t tell”. They painted a certain picture of Tommy for the audience to understand that Tommy might not be a bad guy but just not a fit for Buck.

And in the end, this is what counts. What is shown on screen and the writer’s intentions with this.

Not what someone comes up with as a headcanon or what people assume happened off screen.

Disclaimer in the end: I just want to say that this post isn’t about the casual part of the fandom. The people who just watch the show, enjoy the ship and are happy about anything. As long as they are respectful and live the “ship and let ship” lifestyle, I am completely fine with it.

This post is more about the hardcore five people who try to shove down these theories and “canon” events as a given we have to believe and accept and “how dare you ship something else???”. People who act superior and think they can be dismissive and condescending and whenever you don’t agree with their point of views you are called names, slurs and a lot of different other things.

#media literacy #screenwriting #analysis #911 abc #911 show #911 season 7

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caffiene-fueled-fuckery · 11 months ago

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I just read your post about attachment styles and love it, but I'm curious about when the stuff about Mulcahy is mentioned in the series. I'm a bit obsessed with him and I really want to know when this will come up. I'm only in season six, but I've already heard spoilers galore, however I hadn't heard about this yet

Hi!! So… This ended up being a lot lot longer than I meant it to be because I just ended up rambling about some specific things and how they relate to attachment theory but I promise there’s examples and episode names and such in here so please bare with me. Also, in case you don’t read this all the way through lmao, feel free to dm me or whatever bc I am also obsessed with him if you can’t tell by my blog and I’d love to talk about this more. There’s a lot more examples of this stuff or just moments that you might enjoy that I don’t mention here so if you want more stuff or just to like chat about it feel free :))

My ramble about Father Mulcahy and his attachment issues (lmao) is below the cut!

Omg okay so a lot of this is reading between the lines/subtext type stuff. But there is some stuff that’s talked about! There an episode later on… I think it’s in season 10, called “Heroes.” Basically it’s about a fighter (I’m assuming a boxer but I don’t know for sure), who comes to visit the 4077th but he ends up having a stroke. The guy was a real asshole but Mulcahy seemed to worship him and got testy whenever anyone said anything about it, likely because later in the episode he says he only ever had two heroes in his life, that guy, and Plato. There’s a scene with Mulcahy near the end in post-op, and he’s alone with the fighter and tells him about the hero thing. He was talking about how he liked Plato’s “Ideal Plane” because his own life wasn’t ideal. He said he was small with thick glasses and was an easy target for other kids and he never even tried to fight back. But when he was… 12, I think? Something like that, he said his father dragged him to his first fight and he watched the guy who had the stroke fight another guy. By the end the other guy was really hurt and the fighter was just wailing on him, and Mulcahy said that everyone around him was telling the fighter to end it, and his dad was one of the loudest. But the fighter took a step back and told the ref to stop the fight because the other man was already hurt badly enough. Apparently that’s the first time Mulcahy realized he could defend himself without giving up his principles. Maybe by itself that doesn’t say much for attachment, but it got me thinking… He clearly was getting picked on by other kids all the time, beat up and thrown around and whatnot. I don’t remember when he says but I believe at some point he says that both his parents drank. That’s the only time I remember his talking about his father, and it’s about him loudly yelling for the guy to get this shit beat out of him. Doesn’t give a great impression, does it?

Another time was during one of the interview episodes when the reporter asks him if he wants to say hello to his family back home. Everyone else says hi to specific people, but Mulcahy just gives a half-hearted hello. The only person he corresponds with from home as far as we know is his sister Kathy. He seems very fond of her, and I have my own headcanons about their relationship and childhood and whatnot, but we know at least that he loves Kathy. But why is she the only one he ever talks to or about? Likely he doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents. And once he mentions having brothers, as he had to share a bed with them growing up, but he never talks about them either.

On that same note… Philadelphia isn’t a great area. And based on the comment about the bed and other things he’s said here and there, it seemed liked he grew up in poverty. That puts a lot of strain on someone, and especially familial relationships. There’s issues of food insecurity, lack of safety, living in likely a very small space given having to share a bed… and I’ll elaborate a bit more on this later but it seems like his parents were potentially abusive. Feeling unsafe growing up and especially like your caregivers can’t or are unwilling to protect you (or are the ones causing the harm) can affect your attachment relationships for the rest of your life.

Omg this is such a rant I’m so sorry. I have more.

I think it’s in season 2 or 3, there’s an episode where Henry and Mulcahy get trapped in the bombed out latrine. Maybe you remember it? They pull Mulcahy out and he’s dazed, potentially in shock, and doesn’t really know what’s going on. But he’s telling a story about himself and presumably Kathy, where she wanted to take apples from the yard or something and make apple pie because she learned how in the Girl Scouts. They made the pie and ate it before dinner or something and their mother came in and was like “what the hell is going on,” or something. He looks at Klinger (who is in a dress) and says it’s the first time he ever heard her swear. Presumably she was mad, which I mean makes sense if your kids made and ate a whole pie before dinner but he doesn’t go into much detail about it. This by itself wouldn’t have piqued my interest much, HOWEVER. This is a spoiler, but you said you don’t mind spoilers so… I’m just gunna go on with it. In the finale, Mulcahy loses his hearing. In AfterMASH (yes, I know a lot of people don’t consider it canon but it’s Mulcahy gold for me okay so hear me out), he turns to alcohol to cope with basically having nowhere to go and no job, and Kathy calls Potter to help him because he’s depressed, an alcoholic, etc etc. Potter got him in for a surgery to restore his hearing (I’m a bit salty about how this happened and all but it’s the next part that’s relavant). After the surgery, when he’s all loopy from anesthesia, there’s an inner monologue about his parents and some other things. He’s apologizing to his parents for something, I don’t remember what, and then wonders if someone (a she, but I can’t figure out who he’s talking about) hit him because of the drinking. But the past and present seem all mottled… I can’t really make sense of a lot of it. There’s something in there about someone being so angry when the bomb went off and he went deaf and he’s apologizing to his parents for going deaf (well actually he says he hopes they aren’t angry, he wasn’t supposed to be on the back of a street car but why are there bombs on streetcars anyway). It was a whole thing. But it just made me think like that’s twice now that the first thing he thought of when he was loopy af was his parents being angry… and that just doesn’t sit right with me. Maybe it’s the psych major in me but it doesn’t… it feels off.

Long story short… he’s got some sort of insecure attachment. There’s the main theory of attachment by Bowlby and Ainsworth, but there’s also so many bits that build off of this, such as splitting avoidant attachment into fearful and dismissing, all of which is based on interpersonal models and the scales of view of self and view of other, etc etc. I don’t know exactly which category he’d fit into because some of his hesitancy/not getting close to people is because of his job, right? But I definitely think it’s not all that.

You don’t often see him reach out for help. Securely attached people reach out for help when they need it and seek proximity to attachment figures when distressed/ill/etc, even in adulthood. Mulcahy doesn’t do that, except to Kathy. The odd time he’s told Potter he feels useless and there’s a whole plot line about that (Dear Sis is the episode, it’s my fav episode of the series, in season 10), and he doesn’t feel like he’s any good for anything if he’s not needed or helping others. That could come from needing to please people (like his parents) to avoid being punished or because he had to help raise his siblings bc his parents were absent/neglectful/abusive/etc. Again we don’t know much about his family, but the snippets you get here and there aren’t great. Anyway my point here was that Mulcahy typically only seeks advice/comfort from very select people (Kathy, Hawkeye) and always seeks to please. Always. He’s also always looking for some sort of validation, likely because he has a negative self-view and anxious attachment and needs that confirmation that he’s doing okay and is actually useful.

I… I have so much to say about him. And his attachment issues. I created a mash oc that initially was supposed to be his best friend and as I was going along with it I was like “oh my god he’s so insecure in his attachment” and just like…he’s always the one taking care of others but never lets anyone help him (ex. The hepatitis episode). And again some of that is his vocation… but what drew him to that vocation in the first place?

No matter what attachment style you have or who you are or what your job is, humans need attachment figures in their lives. Some people deny it, some people are scared to be vulnerable, but whether they realize it or not attachment figures and the attachment network are necessary to be healthy. That’s why the attachment system exists in the first place, to provide us with a feeling of safety and security.

I could literally ramble about this for forever. I have notes actually from class today that made me think about this even more so I could probably make this a bit more coherent if I looked at them… maybe I’ll do that another time. Idk.

#mash #m*a*s*h #father mulcahy #attachment issues #attachment theory #emm rambles

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borathae · 7 months ago

Note

ok finally doing this after a nap

Chapter 3

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

You remember drinking one glass of wine. the said glass of wine:

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

Did you punch your own throat in your sleep oof

Why did he know where to look exactly it wasnt a dream babe

istg im about to bitch slap this bitchless dude (TAE I LOVE U DONT TAKE IT TO THE HEART)

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

your knees are buckling like crazy THIS WILL BREAK ME THIS IS GONNA BREAK ME

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

You snort, “so very humble.” ikr sOoOo HuMbLe

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

the rain part was soo cute it could me giggling and listening too still with you

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw.

we are both pick-me girls then BAHAHA PLS *starts playing pd48 pick me

they are so cute im gonna die

(the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs)

THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

i cant wait for 2seokkook's pov and her talking to them woohoo

its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

jjdafjs it took me so long to figure out how the wine pic happened HAHAHA this is such a funny idea help fjadjfs 😭😂

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

ISTFG WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS ESTATE???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

like the suspicion is growiinnggg

it doesn't make sense to you yet probably but I wanna be SA!OC so bad jfasdjf

girliepop me all the time, I forget names so easily (the same with song titles FAFAJDS like I kid you not I even forgot BTS song titles sometimes like it's so bad)

hmhmhmhm interesting theory indeed mhmhmmh or perhaps 👀 someone made her lock the door again and then think everything was just a dream 👀 mhmhmhm

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

"belongings" LIKE THE ICK

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

JFJADSJF YES jhfahsdhf I agree fjadjfa

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

INDEED LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER???

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

omg hahahaha this scene 😭😭 he is such a goof I love him 😭😭 Seokjin is honestly so hot I need to inhale him

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

*cries* he is indeed a kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

LMOAOAO FOR REAL LIKE FADHF couldn't be mE FJASDJF

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

👀 interesting ohohooh

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

OOOOOH IMAGINEEEEE 👀👀

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

IT IS INDEED VERY WEIRD ALL OF IT 👀

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

lmaoaooaoao in her defence I have really sensitive eyes too and can barely stay in the sun without my eyes ACHING jfadsjfj so it IS possible

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

👀 mhmhmhmmh

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

LIKE HELLO WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER????

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

I love him 😭😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

kfadjsfasj she is just here for a good time not a long time lmaooa

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw. they are so cute im gonna die (the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs) THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

fjadjfjad I love how you switched instnatly JFJADSJF THIS IS SO ME WHEN SANGUIS TAE FJADSJFJ

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind. its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

gaaah thank youuu <3 I'm so happy that you're having such a good time with it heheheh istfg I love reading your comments, they're so awesome heheheh 🥺😭💜💜

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #minusback #tw: long post

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acourtofthought · 1 year ago

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I had a few friends mention that I'm a topic of conversation for the other side because I've "stolen" their idea that Elain is a healer.

I'm not sure why this is suddenly something they feel I'm guilty of since my recent post isn't the first time I've mentioned it.

As soon as I realized Elain was pinned by SJM as a Goddess of Spring (I can't remember exactly when that was however I have examples of posts below after I had been thinking about it) it had been rattling around in my head that she can bring about new life for people (not necessarily bringing them back from the dead, just a restorative healing) and the lands of Spring.

Was I the first person to think that? I'm sure I wasn't because unless it's a farfetched theory (like my thinking Elain wasn't granted Seer powers by the Cauldron, the Vassa's curse actually being a Valg type infection or the Lucien / Gwydion connection), I'm guessing most people have come up with similar ideas because the text and interviews and pins are there for everyone to see and I haven't been in the fandom as long as many have.

Does that mean I stole the idea from someone? Also no because I barely understood how to use Tumblr in the beginning and I wasn't actively searching for theories, (most of my time was spent in FB groups). I only signed up here to keep a record of my own and I eventually shifted to this part of the fandom. If I did find inspiration from somewhere or someone posted something that further supported the idea, I gave credit (see below). Again, two people out of the thousands and thousands reading these books will have eventually come around to things that are kind of a no brainer when we learn of things SJM has done or said (sort of like the many people who feel strongly that Gwyn is tied into the Little Mermaid based on SJMs Pinterest). If the theory ends up coming true, it's because the author created the storyline, not the readers, and we just picked up on the supporting evidence.

I think it's also important to consider that many of my theories surrounding Elain and any healing powers involve Elain in Spring, along with Lucien in Calanmai, Elain and Lucien with Koschei, Elain during any future wars, and possibly Elain with the Pegasus considering Helion (Lucien's father) is the one who owns them. I would think E/riel theories would have their own spin that don't involve Elain in Spring / Day, etc. Taking one idea and having your own interpretation that differs from others is what we all do every day.

I did give credit to a happyhermit podcast that someone directed me too as she drew my attention to the fact that Elain may have been healed by Cassian. Before that point, I didn't have an example of Elain actually (possibly) performing healing and only based the headcannon around it being something she'd be able to do in the future.

Not that my identity is a big mystery at this point but I blocked my name anyway 😂.

Even before that:

(excuse my dusty as hell laptop 🤣)

In the end though, it's kind of sad that someone who shares the same positive idea about a character is someone people are gossiping over rather than being excited there are people on both sides of the ship war that support something exciting for the character of Elain.

Also, there's apparently uproar over Elain's ring possibly being a made weapon and how I stole that theory.

Yesterday was the first time I ever heard that and it was shared with me by someone else, hence why I gave them credit for the idea. I only added my own thoughts based on my personal knowledge of what's in the books. Yesterday was the first time I ever considered it.

Had I wanted to make a post about it before, after supposedly seeing it from an E/riel and deciding to "steal it", I would have done it back then.

Instead, a mutual gave me the inspiration and I only expanded with my own ideas.

I'm not trying to be rude but some in the fandom are giving themselves and their page a bit too much credit because the only time I ever happen to see anything an E/riel posts is when I check the "Tags you follow" section because I follow the Elain tag (which I don't often do) or the "because you follow Elain Archeron tag" recommendations and that means I end up finding out bullshit like this through others who let me know when I'm being mentioned.

Job well done to them for also coming up with Elain's iron ring being a made object (which again, was not my idea to begin with) but after checking out what the fuss is about, it seems like our interpretation of it is different. And any similarities shouldn't be that shocking because we're all working with the same text. 🤦. Other people are in fact capable of figuring out 2+2=4 without some accusing them of only knowing the math because they copied their work.

And in general, just because we wrote about it doesn't mean we're the first person to ever think of something.

There are many non fandom readers and "quiet bloggers" who are capable of making connections but choose to stay hidden because of the bullshit in the fandom. None of us are the only ones to ever think of something when it comes to these books, regardless of who wrote it when. Anytime we come up with an idea, I'd say there's a good chance someone we're not aware of came up with it first.

So to the other side of the fandom, maybe consider that you're giving yourself more credit than is deserved by thinking you're the only group to come up with certain ideas. Unless you're talking to every person out there, Gwynriels, Elucien's, etc, even the ones who don't blog their theories, then you shouldn't pretend you're the gatekeeper of a a theory.

#fandom fuckery #elain archeron

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bookofmirth · 10 months ago

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Hi! I am very new to the SJM universe and fandom, but I have read all the books more than once, and have been silently watching along from the sidelines. I am very confused about why people saying that Sarah's interview today, where she mentions that sometimes she puts characters in a room/wants them to kiss, but nothing happens, is alluding to Lucien/Elain? To me, she very clearly meant that when she writes the books or as she's planning them, she might have tried to make, for example, Elain and Eris work, but they didn't click, so she scrapped it. Not that a *mated pair* (Elain and Lucien), that she wrote about to an extent across multiple books, is wrong and won't be endgame? Especially when she clearly is all about mates ending their story happy/together? Am I missing something here lol? And this isn't even about Azriel being with someone over the other in my preference, just general confusion.

Hello! It's kinda crazy, right? It's scary to dip your toes into, people are absolutely nuts.

To me, she very clearly meant that when she writes the books or as she's planning them, she might have tried to make, for example, Elain and Eris work, but they didn't click, so she scrapped it.

So you might not know this, but in an event in 2016, she said that she had initially thought Nesta and Lucien were going to be together. However, she realized that they would be bad for one another, and that's when Elain entered the equation. There is more information about that in this post.

But basically yes! I see exactly what you are saying and I agree. She doesn't put a couple together on the page and then change her mind because things aren't clicking. The couples who were together and then broke up had feelings for one another, they had sexual chemistry. It's just that they ended up at odds with one another (Aelin and Chaol) or they went through events they couldn't recover from (Feyre and Tamlin).

She has characters go through relationships, but makes them mates when they are endgame; we have multiple examples of that being true. I'm with you, it's really not as complicated as people are making it out to be. If Sarah didn't think they should end up together, she wouldn't have made them mates. If Sarah wanted to have a rejected mating bond, she could have made Lucien and Nesta mates like she planned. But... she's just not that writer.

All you're missing is that the fandom has a big impact on how people feel about things, so if you haven't been here long, you might have missed a lot of history. Fanon takes over, people start talking about their theories as if they are true, and eventually you have people who are working from a very different reality than the books actually present. The most innocuous, silly things take on massive importance, and they will find a way to twist things to the advantage of what they want to happen.

Luckily, Sarah does not care what the fandom thinks or wants.

#acotar #ask #anon #acotar fandom #today show interview

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grits-galraisedinthesouth · 2 years ago

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Countdown to MegFlix

Who would have thought that many of the "theories" we heard about Meghan Markle would sooner or later turn out to be true? I realize that there are a handful of you "OG" Tumblr bloggers who "called it" from the beginning, but honestly I'm still shocked.

I distinctly remember the moment when I laughed out loud at a breaking news report (via my radio) that Prince Harry was dating an American actress (a name I'd never heard) and she was hopping on a flight to the UK blah blah... I laughed and said to myself, "...American actress, I don't think so!"

Then there was the engagement announcement/interview. I exercised my right to free speech in the comments section on YouTube by sharing that they seemed "fake/artificial" because authentic couples just don't need to claw and paw one another like that in public. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt they were trying too hard to sell the relationship. The blow back for my dissenting comment was swift. I was warned that Prince Harry was reading and reporting every critical comment. I thought, "grow up!" Slowly but surely a few content creators began to point out the crimson red flags flying in that interview . I commented on one creator's video that the entire relationship seemed fake, to which the content creator replied, "it's a fraud, we just don't know why." That video, like so many videos and websites (created by people who intimately knew her), was swiftly removed.

I typically don't follow celebrity culture, so I couldn't figure out why I was motivated to do my own research on this unknown woman. I have long respected the BRF, but I also think it was the loss of my mother during my own childhood that created a sense of genuine concern for the family. I now realize that she triggered those of us who have experienced even the smallest doses of narcissist abuse.

Meghan and Harry have made many mistakes, but if I had to pick 1 major miscalculation--- it was their juvenile obsession with the everyday critic. We were not allowed to dislike Meghan Markle, period. If we expressed our dislike about anything related to Meghan Markle, we were categorized as "haters who must be de-platformed and destroyed."

Little Meg never learned that people are allowed to reject her and also to reject anything and anyone she offers to the world. No one can be made to like a person, including the unlikeable actress named Rachel Meghan Markle.

Meghan's inability to tolerate criticism and her use of brass knuckle "PR tactics" of intimidation and bullying (including doxing innocent people in the Daily Mail) only caused critics to become more outspoken and more creative in the exercise of free speech rights that Harry deemed "bonkers."

There is still so much more to their "story" that just doesn't quite add up. Tomorrow we will get the final tranche of Meghan's slickly produced clapback-gram. This lady definitely doth protest too much.

Harry's having a ball in materialistic California and Meghan is living her best life pretending to be a Disney princess named CopyKate. She must have a book of Catherine photos that she uses like carbon paper to plan out her own photo and video shoots. Imitation might typically be the highest form of flattery, but Meghan crossed the line between the sane and insane a long time ago. It's now apparent to the entire world that she doesn't know the difference between fantasy and lies.

The Hollywood and political backers egging them on are not friends. Sure they can provide shelter, "character references," a few gigs, even business loans, but the world still has a right to critically analyze the product and reject it. Meghan has been resoundingly rejected on the world's stage, but she will never change because she will never accept that her harddrive is defective. Unless she's prepared to accept that she has psychological problems that include narcissist sociopathies, it will always be more of this:

If only she had the discipline and integrity to go far away and be very quiet, return all the titles, and live her life attached to the only title that (supposedly) matters to her. Unfortunately we are about to be invaded with markle social media campaigns because she's an image addict. She'll never learn that everyday people are not like her. We understand that Instagram and Hollywood are NOT real life. No matter who you marry or what kind of cosmetics you choose to wear, a new name or brand names only serve to amplify the unlikeable personality.

So, as we reach yet another major turning point in the destiny of this duo, I'd like to document a few things we once "heard" from someone (a male friend) close to their megxit. We may never confirm or deny, but it's still a thought provoking list:

1-He (Harry) is her (Meghan) victim.

2-The UK surrogate did not want to release her custody privileges. (Who could blame her?)

3-They don't have a "traditional" marriage but they are together.

4-Harry is with Meghan in her efforts to hurt his family. They are united in these efforts.

5-Harry needs the hard fall.

6-He is trying to get her set up in California.

Let it never be forgotten that Meghan Markle threatened to murder Harry's baby in retaliation for the humiliation she suffered at Royal Albert Hall through a public booing, followed by Harry's refusal to hold her hand at the exact moment she felt needy.

From the Comment Section:

#meghan markle #prince harry #revenge #tom bower #sussex

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vodika-vibes · 1 year ago

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Find Yourself part 1

So. I had an idea, and I decided to write it. I'm not 100% sure how this is going to end, since I don't plan anything in my life, but that's okay. I tried to proof read this since some parts were written in present and some were written in past tense, but I doubt I caught it all, lol.

tagging: @starrrgazingbunny and @kiss-anon

The Clone Wars changed a lot of things in the Galaxy.

There was the obvious one, of course. The genocide of the Jedi, and the overthrow of the Republic into an Empire. Something that affected the life and livelihoods of millions of people across the galaxy.

But there were also smaller changes.

On Naboo, people suddenly realized that they could make it so their ruler had identical decoys. They considered, for a time, cloning potential rulers, but quickly ruled it out as far too expensive.

And then someone mentioned that Genetic modifications existed, and that it was a relatively safe procedure. Not to mention surgical modifications. And with Bacta therapy, the young decoys wouldn’t even have any scars to show that they had been altered in any way.

The theory was bounced around for over a year, and then it was signed into law.

Due to the young age of the Queen, or King, of Naboo, training began young. Which meant the selection process began even earlier. Potential sovereigns were interviewed and selected and sent to diplomatic training. And, at the same time, families across Naboo would be approached by members of the Royal Household.

Families were offered massive monetary compensation if they signed their child over to the Decoy Program. They were also promised that if the potential sovereign wasn’t elected, the child would be returned to them, slightly altered, but still their child.

No one ever denied them.

Handmaiden Ceté had been one such child, once upon a time. Chosen due to the fact that she had the same fair skin-tone as the Queen Elect, as well as the fact that the Queen Elect knew Ceté, she was the first Handmaiden chosen.

The first to go through the genetic manipulation to change her hair and eye colors. The first to undergo the surgeries to make sure that she remained as dainty as the Queen Elect.

The first to lose her name and identity as a Nubian citizen.

The first Fragment of Eté.

And now, almost 20 years later, Ceté had nothing that made her any different from her sisters. She ate what the Queen ate. Spoke like the Queen. Styled her hair and wore her clothes like the Queen.

She had no individual likes or dislikes, as they weren’t allowed. She had no hobbies that weren’t the Queen’s first. She was a fragment of Eté. It was just how it was.

She wasn’t happy. Or content. But neither were her sisters, so her guess was that this was just a way of life.

Oh, but if she had a choice, Ceté would wear shorts and tank-tops and cut her hair to her chin and dye it pink or blue or green or-. She would dance and laugh and sing and explore the stars. She would wear pinks and yellows and both at the same time. She would lay under a tree for hours, lazily whittling the hours away by watching the clouds. She would dance in the rain and jump in mud-puddles.

If she had a choice, she would choose to be happy.

But her right to have a choice was taken when she was four years old.

“What do you think the Queen has decided?” Jordé asked Ceté as they stood at the side of the room, watching as the Queen prepared for her speech.

“Something awful, I’m sure.” Ceté murmured back with an unamused smile, “Like every other decision she’s made.”

“They haven’t all been bad.” Jordé tried to defend, “I mean…she made the child services system-” She trailed off, “The food drive for widows-” She trailed off again, “What about-...hm…”

“Like I said,” Ceté replied dryly.

“We have a strong military now.” Jordé said weakly.

“A military made up of the children who she shunted into the care system,” Ceté countered under her breath, “Not exactly paragons of Nubian Loyalty, sister.”

Her sister hummed her agreement, “Well, maybe this will be a good announcement.” She murmured, straightening as their other sisters and the Queen finished what they were working on and approached them.

Eté seemed to look through Ceté and Jordé, something that she’s been doing for almost 20 years now, “How are things looking outside?” She asked.

Ceté bowed her head respectfully, “The people have gathered for your speech, your majesty. Everything is prepared for you to begin your speech at the top of the hour.”

The Queen nodded, once, “And the weather?”

“Sunny and humid, Majesty.” Jordé answered promptly, “We have made arrangements to ensure that the podium where you will be giving your speech is shaded with an appropriate cover. There is a chance of rain later this afternoon.”

“Nothing that will interrupt my speech?” The Queen asked.

“No, your Majesty.”

“Good.” She brushed past them without so much as a second glance. Jordé and Ceté waited until their sisters slipped past them as well, and then they fell in line at the end of the procession.

Hopefully the speech would be something warm and uplifting.

It wasn’t.

Ceté kept her face carefully placid, something that long years of experience helped her with, as she listened to the people of Theeds cheer over her Queen’s words.

She tried to ignore the disgust coiling in her gut, but that was much harder for her to ignore.

How could they agree to this?

The Gungan people were, are, the native people to Naboo! The Republic named them sentients ages ago. Queen Amidala III did not have the authority to overturn that-

Ceté took a steadying breath and gratefully accepted the cool drink that one of the servants offered her.

Her sisters were acting like all was well, hell, even Jordé had looked pleased with the Queen’s announcement that she was beginning a military campaign to exterminate the Gungan people.

Ceté’s grip around her cup tightened, and then she carefully loosened her grip and took a sip of something cool and sweet. A juice made from a fruit harvested here on Naboo. It was the Queen’s favorite, and so it was Ceté’s favorite.

Ceté had put up with a lot in the name of being one of Queen Amidala’s fragments. Years of training, genetic and physical alterations, not having a past or a family, or even a future that wasn’t tied to the woman her parents bound her to.

But this-

She couldn’t accept this.

Wouldn’t accept this.

If no one on Naboo would help her, and, judging by some of the comments she was hearing, none of them would, then she would find help for the Gungan people elsewhere.

Reaching out to the Gungan people themselves was out of the question. As one of the Queen’s fragments, they would likely just kill her on sight. And Ceté couldn’t blame them.

No. She would have to look elsewhere.

She wasn’t sure where, just yet.

But she had always been adaptable, years of training had ensured that.

Ceté leaned against a wall, and sipped her drink, her face calm, even as she started building an escape plan in the back of her mind.

A ship would be leaving Theeds the following morning, heading towards Outland Station, a space station that acted as a hub for spacers, bounty hunters, and pirates.

Ceté would be on that ship, whether anyone liked it or not.

*****************

Kix looked up from where he was doing inventory in his med-bay when the door slid open, and one of the pirates he worked with bounded in with a wide grin on their face.

He didn’t remember their name, he didn’t care enough to remember.

“Hey Doc!”

It was valid since they didn’t bother to remember his name.

“We’re about to be rich!”

Kix turned back to his inventory, “Is that right.” He didn’t care. Doesn’t care.

Apparently the interloper in his med-bay didn’t get the memo, as they plopped themselves on a medical bed, and leaned in towards him, as if to gossip. “Yup, Boss captured one of the handmaidens of the Queen of Naboo. We’re going to ransom her back to them for a massive amount of credits.”

Kix stilled, a lifetime of memories flashing through his mind. He shook off the melancholy as best as he could, and pinned the pirate with an annoyed look, “Did you hurt her?”

“Eh, she might be a little banged up,” They sounded unconcerned, “Nothing to be worried about.”

Kix stood and grabbed his medical kit, slinging it over his shoulder, “I’ll go and see, just to make sure.” He didn’t trust them to seriously hurt her if it meant that she wouldn’t be able to run.

Plus, there was a little voice in the back of his head that sounded a lot like Rex at his Dad-est, telling him that checking on the hostage was the right thing to do.

He wondered if he would ever stop hearing the ghosts of his brothers.

“Come on, doc! I said she’s fine!”

“And I remain unconvinced. Where is she?”

The pirate made a disgusted noise, “She’s in one of the holding rooms.” Kix didn’t wait for him to say anything else, he just brushed past him and left the room.

She was pretty. That was the first thing Kix noticed about her. Long black hair tied in a bun, a slender frame, and a stubborn set to her lips. She had bruises on her cheek and temple, ugly bruises that were already turning red.

“Those look painful.” Kix noted, “Would you let me treat them?”

She gazed at him evenly, “Do I have a choice?”

“You always have a choice,” Kix replied.

“Then let me go.”

“Unfortunately, that’s not one of your choices.” He countered as he folded his arms and regarded her curiously. She was remarkably unafraid for someone who had been captured by pirates. “Your options, from me, are letting me treat your injuries, or not letting me treat your injuries.”

Her lips pursed, and her gaze darted around the cell, likely looking for a possible escape.

“Look, the Captain is already reaching out to Naboo.”

That got a reaction. She jerked as though he just slapped her, and all of the color drained from her face, Kix had never actually seen that happen before, though he knew it was possible.

Kix regarded her through half-lidded eyes. Her face was ashen, and her gaze was suddenly darting left and right, as though looking for an escape. And then her gaze met his, and something deadly calm crossed her features. "Once your Queen pays your ransom," Kix said quietly, (Stars how low has he fallen?) "You'll be returned to Naboo, unharmed."

She lifted her chin, and for a moment, Kix saw a hint of Senator Amidala in her bearing, which made sense, he figured. "My Queen will never pay ransom for one of her shards. And if she did, my life would be forfeit the moment I stepped foot on Nubian soil."

"Shards?"

"I am a decoy. Nothing more than a fragment of Her Majesty. Fleeing as I did is tantamount to treason. If you return me, you return me to my death."

Something cold ran down Kix’s spine.

He was no Jedi. He had no way to determine if someone spoke the truth or not, but he did know people. He knew how people reacted when they were afraid, and she was terrified.

“Why?” Kix asked, he needed to know. Needed to understand. Naboo was a peaceful planet, or it was during the Clone Wars-

“My Queen has ordered the extermination of the Gungan people.” Her voice was quiet, and her hands, clasped over her stomach, were shaking, “I cannot, will not, allow it to happen. So I’m looking for help.”

She wasn’t lying, Kix realized with a sinking heart.

“Let me go, or a lot of people are going to die.”

Kix stared at her, his mind racing. And then he made a split second decision. “Alright. But I’m coming with you?”

Something cold crossed her face, “Why, so you can get your own ransom?”

He scoffed, and unlocked her cell, “Just because the GAR doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t mean that I’m not still a part of it.”

She blinked at him, startled, “You’re a Clone?” She asked, shock crossing her face. Likely doing the math and realizing that he should probably be dead.

“The last one,” Kix replied with a humorless smile.

She stepped out of the cell, she was tiny, the top of her head level with his shoulder, maybe it was a Nubian thing. “My name is Ceté,” She finally said, “Is there a ship or something?”

“Follow me,”

In the lower part of the pirate ship was a small shuttle, big enough for two people, but only just. “Who does this belong to?” Ceté asked as Kix helped her on board and then climbed up after her.

“The Captain stole the ship from Corsec,” Kix explained as he slipped around her and into the pilot’s seat, “There’s no tracking on it, which makes it good for our escape, but it’s not the best on fuel, so we’re going to want to ditch it somewhere and get a different ship.”

Ceté sank into the copilot’s seat, and absently started helping with the preflight checks, “You have a plan?”

“Not yet,” He glanced at her, and then back at his panel, “Let’s get out of here, and then I’m going to need some information.”

“I’m going to have some questions for you too,” Ceté warned.

Kix released a humorless laugh, “Fair. A question for a question.” There’s silence for a long moment, though it isn’t uncomfortable, as the pair work in tandem to get the shuttle on and off the ship without too much trouble.

They remained silent as Kix pushed them into Hyperdrive, and then he turned and focused his gaze on Ceté, “We’re heading to Takodana, Maz will help us. Or, at least, she won’t hurt us.”

“Alright,” Ceté agreed with a slight incline of her head. “You have questions?”

“Yeah.” Kix paused, likely thinking of all the questions he had, “First, you called yourself a shard. What does that even mean?”

Ceté hesitated for a moment, and then she turned in her chair to look at him, “It’s a long story.” She warned.

“Tell me anyway.”

“Alright.” She leaned back in her seat slightly, “You know how the Sovereign of Naboo has their decoys, five or six young people who take the sovereign's place when they need to be elsewhere, or if they might not be safe.”

“Yes, I’m familiar with the practice.” Kix replied.

“Right, well. The Clone Wars changed things,” Ceté paused, “To be more specific, the Clones changed things. People suddenly realized that they could have exact doubles of their sovereign, rather than just close enough.”

“...you’re a clone-?”

“No. Not like you, at least.” Ceté’s smile is slightly bitter, “Cloning is expensive, you see. Genetic alterations and plastic surgery are much cheaper.”

Kix stared at her, hard, “What did you originally look like?”

“I don’t remember. I was four when my parents got the offer for me to join the Decoy program. I underwent surgery and genetic alterations before I was five. Then they took my name and gave me a more suitable one. And before you ask, I don’t remember my name either.”

Kix stared at her silently for a moment, “That sounds…really fucking familiar. Do you have anything that makes you distinct from your Queen?”

“No. I don’t even know what things I like or don’t like, because I had to be a perfect reflection of my Queen.”

“...I never thought I would ever think this, but you somehow had it worse than me and my brothers,” Kix said flatly, completely unimpressed with Naboo. “At least I was able to pick my own hairstyle, and my own name, and how to decorate my armor.”

He drummed a rhythm on the armor covering his thigh, and then he stood, “Do you want a haircut?”

Ceté blinked at him in surprise, “I don’t…I never thought about it.” She stood as well and followed him out of the cockpit.

“It’s just hair, it’ll grow back if you don’t like it.” Kix pointed out as he dug through his kit and pulled out a pair of scissors.

Ceté stared at the scissors for a moment, and then she hesitated, “Maybe…” She gestured to her shoulders, “Shoulder length hair?”

Kix grinned, “Excellent. Have a seat and I’ll get you all sorted.”

Ceté sat on an open chair and Kix stood behind her, carefully cutting her hair to the length that she wanted. His mind was racing. A non-clone Clone. Someone who never had any choice in her life, rather like him, only worse since she existed for a single person.

Kix’s gaze focused on the back of her head. He needed to protect her. She deserved to be protected.

She also deserved to have a choice in her life, maybe he could help her find herself while helping her save the Gungan people.

Maybe she would be able to help him become him again.

Long hair fell to the floor around his feet as he cut her hair, and a small grin crossed Kix’s face. For the first time in, what felt like, forever. He no longer felt haunted by the ghosts of his brothers.

Yes. This would lead to good things. He was sure of it.

#star wars #star wars oc #vod'ika writes #kix x oc #Find Yourself

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