#and the wife is like ‘noooooooo!!!’

[shakespeariancryptid]

Watching tgcf season 2 for the 27,484,727,479,291st time and every time Qi Rong comes on screen I say:

“There he is! My oily little green bastard man!! I want to squish him like a bug!! I love him!!”

Or something equivalent. There’s just something about him that both activates my cute aggression and also makes me want to punt him like a football.

[jonathanbyersphd]

There's something so interesting about how Steve says "Jonathan when he comes back" like he's waiting for him to home

[bedforddanes75]

spanish accents are like my Favourite thing im going to Die

[deermook]

I love padaobi’s gay little padawan haircut you guys are so mean to him >:(

It suits him so well it makes him look boyish and uniform (he is very boyish and VERY uniform) and I love his stupid ponytail and braid combo he is so cute and sweet just the way he is

[parsleypesto]

so i’m like fully emotionally attached to my first client lmfao oh. they warned us about this at uni and i was like nahhhh not gonna happen to me i’m tuff.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

my honest urge to give each family some fucked up abstract sacred symbolism bc i was obsessed over this game when i was 15

[ham1lton]

good old fashioned lover boy!

pairings: lando norris x actress!reader.

faceclaim: woo da-vi! <3

summary: lando is in love. his girlfriend is the perfect girl in every way possible, except for one thing: she’s a pescatarian, and lando hates fish.

author’s note: i’m back bitches. requests are now open again but i’m going to be a little more selective with what i choose!

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liked by bestie, zendaya and 234,828 others.

yourusername: no cause why is my uber driver doing the most rn. bro you will get a tip i promise 😭

view all 5,282 comments

user1: wait. why does that dude look familiar…..

bestie: you went out for food without me? 😔

-> yourusername: food didn’t taste half as good without you stealing it from my plate babe <3

user3: NOOOOOOO NOT MY QUEEN SOFTLAUNCHING.

-> user7: bad day for delusional yners.

-> user3: london i know how you feel…. i lost my queen too 😔

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liked by favcoworker, landonorris and 673,928 others.

yourusername: life recently. does anyone get obsessed with one song and play it over and over until you get sick of it?

view all 7,267 comments

hudabeauty: gorgeous girl!

-> yourusername: this face is all ms huda’s work 😘

user9: what song are you playing on repeat?

-> yourusername: glue song by beabadoobee!! :D

-> user6: oh no she’s serious abt this man 😭

-> user9: what happened to my misandrist queen 😔

favcoworker: i took the pics on our way to jimmy kimmel. say thank you 🤭

-> yourusername: pic creds to my bestie on the show and my fav girl off it!!! maya and dara 5ever <3

user8: who is that guy?? he seems so familiar???

-> user2: i swear it’s one of the beckham boys.

-> user3: it’s central cee. i swear yn said she liked british guys.

-> user5: i think it’s one of her coworkers !! she plays dara on day by day. i swear she’s dating the guy who plays matt.

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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,238,727 others.

landonorris: golden hour with my golden girl :)

view all 23,737 comments

user8: the way yn was soft launching him and he just hard launches tf out of her 😭

-> user5: i mean… it’s yn yln. wouldn’t you?

*liked by landonorris.*

charles_leclerc: happy for you guys!! 😊

oscarpiastri: still can’t believe yn got you to eat fish.

-> carlossainz55: maybe he just needed the right motivation. unlike some people, lando can actually grow up.

-> charles_leclerc: this is public 😊

danielricciardo: when did you become a professional photographer?? these pics look great.

-> landonorris: she did all the work. it helps when your gf is gorgeous.

user78: NOOOOOOOO

user1: OOOOOHHHHH THAT SHOULD BE ME HOLDIN YOUR HAND….. THAT SHOULD BE ME MAKIN YOU LAUGH…. 😔

-> user3: me to yn… 😔

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— taglist: @23victoria @luckyladycreator2 @alexmarie29 @k1arsworld @mxdi0 @booksandflowrs @cuteskz @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @purplephantomwolf @casperlikej @nichmeddar @decafmickey @evie-119 @ironmaiden1313 @wildflowermarns @d3kstar @f1kenzzz @ravisinghs-wife @thehistoryone @raevyng @colmathgames2 @iloveyou3000morgan @namgification @xaviersslut @sya-skies @formulaal @landoism @firelily-mimi @lemon-lav @sharlsworld @67-angelofthelordme-67 @bernelflo @hiireadstuff @dark-night-sky-99 @c-losur3 @lavisenri @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade @seokjinkismet @dhanihamidi @tallrock35 @f1fan676 @f1withleire @kamabokogonpachro @oliviah-25 @handsupforamiracle @lichterfee @jiggly-puff-12 — don’t want to be tagged anymore? send me an ask!

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[orchid3a]

A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. ( zhongli x reader )

╰┈➤ you always believed in christmas miracles, but he took this concept to another level for you.

pairings — zhongli x fem!reader.

warnings — reader and zhongli are single parents before meeting each other, t*xic relationship (not with zhongli), mentions of domestic v*olence and ch*ating, a bit of misogyny and overall prejudice of the society with single mothers, fluff with children and between the parents, sugestiveness at the end.

word count — 5k

notes — this is a repost from the beggining of the year bc i had some problems back then, but this fic was supposed to be a christmas one and for zhongli's birthday. either way, it's now here! reblogs and feedbacks are appreacited &lt;3

you’ve always loved christmas. 

it was a time when everything was magical, especially when you were a child, but such a magic didn’t die when you were growing up — it actually only grew, especially after you had your daughter. her father, your ex-husband, wasn’t the biggest fan of christmas. zandik was a doctor, and a logical one, and he almost spilled to your daughter that santa wasn’t real in the last christmas you three spent as a family, though you couldn’t tell if he was being mean or the idea of santa claus was so illogical that he didn’t comprehend why your daughter should believe it. 

either way, nahida still believed in santa, and you were sure your boyfriend and his children would do anything to keep such magic in your daughter’s life — and you couldn’t be more grateful. 

ganyu and xiao were two sweet hearts, accepting to go shopping with you to buy presents for your daughter and their father. it was a tradition that was passed down from your father to you, always bringing you along when he went to buy presents for your mother and siblings — you loved nothing more than to choose what they would be given, and seeing their eyes lighten up with the perfect gifts you had chosen. you used to take nahida with you, too, when you and zandik were still together, and you knew she loved to see the small smile on her father’s face when he opened his gift and saw the shirt or the new white coat his daughter had chosen for him. 

but that was in the past now, and your ex-husband didn’t want anything to do with nahida now. 

it was a shame, though. despite the bad way your relationship ended — with him cheating on you with one of his coworkers while you stayed at home taking care of your little treasure and doing everything to please him — nahida was still his daughter, a child that he had spent hours and hours talking when she was still in your belly, a child that he had treasured and did lots and lots of plans with you while she laid on his bare chest in a warm night of summer. but ever since your divorce, he hadn’t made any effort to be present in his daughter’s life again, but it didn’t seem like nahida was missing him. 

your boyfriend was a better father figure to her, anyway. 

after your divorce, you didn’t have anywhere to be — your ex husband made you quit your job after you got pregnant, so you could put all your energy into taking care of your baby and raising her the bestest you could. your best friends, cyno and tighnari, offered you a place to stay until you had a job and a good income to be able to live on your own with nahida, and you couldn’t be more grateful to them. if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t have been hired in your boyfriend’s company as his secretary and become the neighbor of his younger brother, who played matchmaker for the both of you. 

zhongli was a kind boss, always understanding when you needed to call a sick day whenever nahida needed you, to the point that rumors about your involvement began even before you two were actually together.

apparently, he had always looked at you with a lovestruck expression that everybody saw except you — because, in your head, how could a man as successful as him, as handsome and kind as him, would look at you with love in his eyes instead of pity? with a failed marriage and a little girl to take care of, you had already made up your mind that you would never find love again. but zhongli was stubborn and would do anything to show you that he was different than your ex-husband, his plan coming to fruition when you found a job in your actual line of field, with venti’s and ei’s help. 

you were, at first, a bit hesitant in opening your heart again for another man. but you came to know that you and zhongli had passed by the same situation, a cheating wife that left him for her new affair, leaving two small children for him to take care of. if it wasn’t for venti and ei, in the words of the said younger brother of your ex boss, zhongli wouldn’t be able to raise his children to be such good kids. another thing that made you more prone to open yourself to him was the way he treated nahida, in such a care that you never saw your husband treating her — zhongli always coaxed giggles and giggles from her, and you knew you were in love with him watching him play with your daughter as if she was his own. 

now, after one year of being together and two months of living as a family, it was the first christmas you five would spend together. 

“aunt y/n, do you think daddy will like a new shirt? we can buy it blue to match with my hair!” ganyu’s excited voice took you from your thoughts, and you smiled at the young girl, nodding at her words, like xiao glared at his older sister.  

ganyu and xiao were nine and seven, and the kindest children you ever met. they had accept you and nahida in their lives as if you both had always been a part of it, and the three of them had a very special bond — none of your friends had children on nahida’s age, and it was good to see the sibling bond she was forming with zhongli’s children. she and ganyu became sisters in less than a day, and while xiao was shyer than his sister, nahida was already calling him big brother by the end of the first week you all were living together. you and zhongli couldn’t be happier, being able to be together and watching your children getting closer — he’d always whisper how good of a mother you were while kissing your forehead, making you hide your face on his chest due to embarrassment. 

“i think he will love one.” you agreed, hand messing ganyu's blue curls. “but maybe for his birthday? we need to remember that we need to buy two gifts for daddy.” sometimes it was bothersome the fact that your boyfriend's birthday was in the new year's eve, a date when people were already celebrating, but you tried to make it more special for him — zhongli's birthday celebration started as soon as he wake up, and it went through the whole day. he would turn thirty-four this year, and you wanted to make it as special as you wanted christmas to be. 

“why didn't daddy choose a better day to be born? like us, or nahida!” xiao's complaint was cute, his hand clutching your skirt and his brows furrowed in an unhappy face. 

you smiled at the younger boy, watching as ganyu looked at the dress shirts in the store. “we don't choose the day we're born, little man.” it was cute how he still flushed at your pet names for them, and you wondered if someday he'd grow too tired of them and ask you to stop. you hoped not, because both of them, ganyu and xiao, already had their special places on your heart — right at nahida's, but you feared it was too soon to call them like that.

“hmpf.” he pouted and you giggled, fighting the urge to pinch his cheeks and call him cute. 

“aunt y/n!” ganyu called you, a beautiful blue dress shirt in her small hands. “i'm sure daddy will like this one! it's like my hair!” she proudly exclaimed, a smile full of white teeth adorning her chubby cheeks. but before you could answer, you heard an irritated sound coming from xiao’s mouth, who was still clutching your skirt, narrowed eyes looking at the shirt his sister chose. 

“what about my hair then?” he asked and you sighed, knowing it would take a while to make those two agree on something. 

— 

zhongli smiled seeing the christmas’ lights shining on nahida’s green eyes. 

he had always worried about his relationship with your child, even before you two were a thing — it was embarrassing how much he had daydreaming about being in a relationship with you, a thirty two three old man fantasizing about his twenty-seven secretary, but he couldn’t help himself. not when you smiled so sweetly at him, always making sure that he had a cup of water and coffee with him and that he wasn’t overworking himself. you were zhongli’s dream woman, and he knew he needed to court you properly. 

you first told him about your daughter in a rainy day, after you had received a call from your friends, eyes glossy with tears — you explain that she had a fever through the whole night and you left her with your best friends so you could work, but it seemed like her condition was worse since you left. zhongli didn’t think twice about offering you a ride to your friends’ house then to the hospital, his heart contracting itself seeing your distressed face. you reluctantly accept, and the rest was story. 

that day was the confirmation that you needed that you should accept his moves on you, already searching for a new job so you could fully welcome zhongli in your life. the way he made nahida feel safe, despite the doctors' scaring and the needles in her little body, made the tears you were holding back to fall from your eyes — your ex-husband’s last words ringing in your head, of how much of a bad mother you would be without him and his help.

now, zhongli was walking hand in hand with your six-year-old daughter through the jewelry store, trying to look for the perfect ring to propose to you. 

“what gem do you think mommy would like, nahida?” he asked, his amber gaze eyeing some diamond’s rings on display, hands unconsciously reaching to take nahida between his arms so she could help him choose. she nuzzled between them, sighing contently before casting her green orbs on the rings and gasping softly. zhongli suppressed a chuckle — he missed when his children were small and innocent like her.

she pointed to a gold one with some green details, the diamond shaped in a heart with some emeralds around it. he wasn’t surprised though, as her favorite color was green — even the tips of her hair were dyed green, a courtesy of the day she, ganyu and xiao spent with venti. “that one, uncle ‘li!” she exclaimed, her face lightening up at the thought of your finger adorned with it. “but why are you gifting mommy it, uncle zhongli? my papa used to give her clothes or books.” nahida was the most intelligent and curious kid zhongli ever met, and he knew she’d ask why he wanted to give you a ring — though the mention of her father brought a sour taste to his mouth, he could never be angry at her for bringing him up. 

she was too small to understand how much her father made her mother suffer. 

“well,” he started, smiling at the vendor and pointing to the ring nahida liked. “i want to marry your mommy, and i’m going to ask her with the ring i’ll buy today. do you think she’ll accept it?” 

he didn’t want to admit it, but his heart was hammering inside his chest like he was a teenager once more — nobody knew about his plans of proposing, and zhongli wanted to keep things a surprise to everyone, but he knew he needed to ask nahida’s permission first. she was your entire world, just like his children were his, but he wanted to make a space for himself there, like you and your little girl had on his. and nahida’s acceptance was what he needed to feel confident enough to ask you those three little words. he knew you wouldn’t do anything that would hurt or put her in danger, and he couldn’t blame you. you were a single mother in a world that looked down at you with disdain in its eyes. 

though, nahida’s words caught him by surprise. “you promise you won’t make mommy cry like my papa did?” he looked puzzled at her, though he understood what she meant. “mommy thinks she hides things from me, but i’m not dumb. i remember when papa left us, she cried so much! and i don’t want to see her crying again.” she hid her face on his neck and zhongli sighed, stroking her back. 

“i promise, my sweetness. i will never make mommy cry sad tears, alright?” he almost didn’t notice her small nod, but he felt her small hands gripping the back of his dress shirt tighter. “does that mean i can marry mommy?” 

his heart felt more at ease when he heard her giggles. “of course!” nahida exclaimed while coming out from her hiding spot, a big smile on her face. “does that mean you’ll be my daddy, too?” as much as her voice had excitement on it, zhongli could recognize a bit of shyness, alongside the soft pink dusting her cheeks — but he felt his heart warm, and even though nahida didn’t know that, he already considered her his child, his youngest daughter. and to know that she wanted him to be her father figure was better than any other scenario he could think of. 

“yes, i’ll be your daddy too, my sweetness.” 

—

you looked down fondly at ganyu and xiao, both of them looking at their ice creams as if they were the richest treasure in the world.

at the end, they decided to buy a blue shirt as zhongli’s christmas’ present, and a gold wristwatch, with his black ornaments, as his birthday present. it was adorable to see how dedicated they were to find the perfect gift for their father, debating and arguing to try to find what he would like the most — in the end, you knew zhongli would use his gifts to work, showing his employees how cute and thoughtful his little angels were. 

“this ice cream is so good, mommy.” you smiled, at first, hearing xiao’s words, napkin ready to clean his lips off the almond cream around it — but you stopped dead in your tracks when you noticed how he called you. 

you never wanted to take their biological mother’s place in their lives, though zhongli always said that she never loved them like a mother should — she saw them as a way for him to continue married to her, so she could maintain her lifestyle as a ceo’s wife intact, partying and cheating on him behind his back and leaving his children to be taken care by nannies. once, he admitted to you that his biggest regret was choosing such a woman to be the mother of his children, whispering soon after that what happened to him and her led him to you, and zhongli couldn’t be more grateful. hearing him calling you that, although, filled your heart with warmth and your smile grew wider. 

xiao was more introverted and reserved than ganyu, perhaps because of the so little time he spent with his mother before she and zhongli divorced. you thought he would be the last one to call you that, and you would be alright if he never did — the love you felt for them and the love they felt for you couldn’t be described in just a simple title. 

“you’re getting your mouth all dirty, dummy.” as a good older sister, ganyu scolded him gently, though her mouth was dirty with some of the chocolate toppings of her ice cream. “it isn’t mommy’s job to clean you.” 

you didn’t know if it was influence of her brother or just the mood that made her call you like that too, but you swallowed the lump in your throat. “it is mommy’s job to clean him, baby. it’s mommy’s job to look after the both of you, and nahida, and daddy too.” you tried to explain, napkins ready to clean them both. they giggled and, to any onlooker, you looked like a happy and small family — as you were, though two components of it were missing. 

however, your giggles died down when you spotted familiar curls of light blue hair and a pair of red eyes looking straight at you. 

you could recognize zandik’s eyes anywhere you went — they were sharp and calculating, the emotion shining on them always indecipherable. you used to find them beautiful, especially in the early days of your relationship with him, when they used to shine and sheer adoration, but now they only brought a sour taste to your mouth. but as soon as you noticed his presence there, you returned your eyes to your children, continuing to smile at them. 

“mommy!” before you could say something, you heard your sweet girl’s voice, her small hands waving at you while she was perched comfortably between zhongli’s arms.

“daddy and ‘hida are back, xiao!” ganyu exclaimed, feet already taking her to where her father was standing. you offered your hand to xiao, who took it with more enthusiasm than normal, you two followed his big sister to finally find the two other members of your family. 

though you could still feel your ex-husband’s gaze on your back. 

you sighed relieved when zhongli’s arms embraced your body, burying your face on his neck — his sandalwood scent managed to ease your heart a bit, though you were still waiting for disaster to happen with zandik around. you heard the girls’ giggles and xiao’s little ‘tsk’ at your display of affection, and you could feel your boyfriend’s smile while he kissed your lips. 

“i hope these little rascals didn’t give you any trouble, my dearest.” he spoke, voice deep and soothing, as if he could sense your distress at the moment. you smiled, shaking your head, while ganyu and xiao snuggled themselves in your sides. 

surprisingly, xiao was the first one to speak. “we would never give mommy any trouble, daddy.” you watched as surprise and pure love passed through zhongli’s features, his eyes the warmest you ever saw — it was as if he had dreamed about the day his children would finally acknowledge you as their true mother, despite the blood running through his veins. ganyu nodded and joined her brother’s chorus, nodding. 

“you’re the only one who we give trouble to, daddy!” 

you ruffled their heads. “i hope my little rascal didn’t give you any trouble, my love. i know how curious she can be.” you returned his question to him, hands still caressing xiao’s and ganyu’s hair, winking at your little girl who giggled between zhongli’s arms, that being your favorite sound in the world. she looked so at ease and at her place being nursed and loved by him, as if he was the one supposed to be her father from the very beginning. 

“my fault. she inherited it from her father, i suppose.” 

you didn’t remember his voice being so cold, as if it was the chill of the first snow of the year — it wasn’t fitting no, as your husband hailed from the west, from a place that never snowed. maybe it was the influence of some of his coworkers from the north, but you still remembered when that voice used to be your source of peace and comfort. “zandik.” you greeted him, not bothering to turn around to look at him, more concerned in protecting your children from his venom. they seemed to understand how dangerous he was, clinging to you even more. 

though, the worst part was watching nahida’s expression seeing her father after so long. her eyes were wide, but her lips were trembling and her small hands were clutching zhongli’s shirt with a strength you never saw before. you wanted nothing more than to just take her away from here, but zhongli’s expression told you he was willing to protect her like you would. it hurt you to know that your daughter was aware of the monster her father was, and you felt as if you had failed your mission to protect her childhood innocence. 

he chose to ignore your presence, focusing his attention on zhongli and nahida, as if his ego was hurt by the fact his daughter didn't run straight to his arms. “why a strange man is holding my daughter, y/n?” you turned to face him, instinctively putting ganyu and xiao behind you, hoping to protect them.

“he's my boy—” 

“he's my daddy!” nahida's voice cut you off, leaving everyone speechless. “he's going to marry mommy and not make her cry like you did, papa.” she explained, voice quiet like a feather reaching the ground after failing — though, to you, her words resonated inside your head, for two reasons: she was too young to be worried about someone making you cry. 

and zhongli wanted to marry you. 

zandik answered with a dry chuckle, his eyes shining with the same anger it did back then. “what poison about me did you feed to my daughter, you bitch?” you watched as his hand started to move towards your figure, and you closed your eyes, memories of the day when you confronted him about his cheating played in your head — the screams and the tears, the harsh words and his hands bruising your face. 

though, the impact of his fist in your jaw didn't happen again. 

you opened your arms to see zhongli in front of you, nahida being supported only by one of his arms but looking worried at your shaking form, his other hand holding zandik's arm, fingers squeezing your ex-husband’s wrist — even ganyu and xiao got away from their hiding place, now in front of you, as if they were ready to protect you. 

“do not ever dare to touch my wife like that again, scum, or i will make sure you regret messing with my family again.” zhongli said, voice firm and demanding. “get out of my sight or else nobody in this world will make me stop hunting you for hurting y/n.” 

— 

it pained him to see you like this. 

zhongli could see how strong you tried to look for the children, especially nahida. after the encounter with her father — and his boyfriend now, the same man who zandik had cheated on you with, who was lurking in the shadows until zhongli stepped up — she was visibly shaken up, not leaving your arms until your little family arrived home. in the walls of her safe place, nahida regained her light, and xiao and ganyu seemed relieved, ready to play with his little sister. 

nor you or zhongli touched the subject in front of them, and he was waiting for night time, the only time when he was alone with you in the confines of your shared room, to extract your real feelings. he could see how your smiles didn’t reach your eyes, or how your laugh seemed forced — it seemed like the kids did too, all three of them snuggled in your arms during the movie you were watching, while you were snuggled at his side. he couldn’t ask for anything better than to have the love of his life and his children safe in his arms, though his mind was running miles trying to find a way to make your husband pay for what he made you and nahida go through.

another thing that he wanted to discuss was the little secret nahida spilled. 

he didn’t blame her, of course. zhongli understood it was her way of protecting him and her mother from her father’s words, and he couldn’t be more grateful for her actions — it was a testimony of how well you were raising her, and also a testimony that you both were better without the shadow of zandik looming over you. nahida now had space to grow her opinions and be whatever she wanted, and zhongli was happy that he was able to provide such an environment for her, alongside you. 

the sound of the door opening made him tear his eyes from his book, gentle gaze now focused on your form. you were wearing some pajamas pants and an old t-shirt of his, and he swore you looked the most beautiful you ever did looking like that — perhaps, you in a white dress walking down the aisle to meet him could beat such a sight. he opened his arms and you took no time to just jump between them, face nuzzled on his neck, his warm hands drawing circles on your lower back. you sighed contentedly. “how is she?” he knew you were putting nahida to sleep, being the one who aided you in putting the children in their respective rooms, staying a bit more in her room to make sure she was alright. 

“she’s still a bit shaken up.” you answered, voice muffled by his shirt. zhongli tightened his arms around you, kissing your hair. “i explained to her that zandik will never take her away from us, but she made me promise it at least three times.” your chuckle was a sad one, and he feared you bursting into tears for someone who didn’t deserve it — though, he couldn’t help and feel warm inside by the fact you included him and his children in your family. 

he kept his silence, only humming, knowing you had to say more. “why is he like that? why i couldn’t see how horrible he was from day one?” you seemed defeated, and his blood boiled at the sensation of your tears soaking his shirt. 

zhongli knew very well how you felt. “love normally clouds our senses, dearest.” you took your face from its hiding spot, meeting his amber eyes — gentle and shining with endless love for you, making your heartbeat race just like in the first time you saw them. “but he will never try to approach you or nahida again, do you hear me?” he held your face between his large hands, thumb caressing your cheeks in a loving way. you nodded, giving him a smile that resembled your normal ones. 

“i wish you were nahida’s father from the start, ‘li.” you admitted, a pout on your lips. he pecked them briefly, almost giving you no time to melt into the kiss, kissing your forehead soon after. 

he helped you to get up from his embrace, legs straddling his thighs, while taking a small black velvet box from under your pillow. “if you say yes, i can.” 

you looked between him and the velvet box as if you didn't understand what was happening, but in reality, you couldn't believe it. why zhongli, a man so fine like the most delicious wine, wanted to marry you? a poor excuse of a woman and mother, who still got shaken up with the presence of her ex-husband? you knew he deserved someone so much better than yourself, but you wanted to be that person — but the tears were already glossing your vision and your head came to rest on his chest, his hands holding you close to his body.

you cried like a child, the velvet box between your hands and zhongli's long fingers between your hair. his warmth was almost soothing you, almost whispering that you were made and born to be in that position, between his arms and feeling his love for all eternity. 

your sobs calmed in the same intensity zhongli's love professions became more and more passionately, his words making you see that even if you didn't feel like you were deserving of his love, he felt like you were. and that was enough, you came to realize — zhongli's love was his to give to anyone he deemed worthy of, and he deemed you and your daughter worthy of his endless affections. 

“yes.” you whispered against the pale skin of his neck, now a bit red from the small love bites you gave him after you calmed down. the velvet box was still resting in your hands, and after giving his neck another kiss, you positioned yourself to face him and his amber gaze, eyes already tearing up by the love shining on them. 

zhongli's hands were ready to open it, showing you the most beautiful ring you ever saw in your life — a gold band with a heart shaped diamond in the middle, some emeralds, as the same color as your sweet girl's eyes, around it, making the ring perfect for you. you nodded again, heart racing when he took your hand in his and put the ring on your finger. as soon as you felt the cold band in your warm skin, you cupped his face, bringing his face to meet yours in a passionate kiss.  

“thank you.” zhongli whispered against your lips after he broke the kiss, and you smiled, though not ready for his next words. “thank you for loving me, for choosing this scarred and brute man to be your husband.” you just stroked his face, letting him talk his heart out. “thank you for being the best mother for nahida and now to ganyu and xiao.” his lips soon found your face once again, now caressing your cheek. “i love you.” he whispered with his nose on your cheek, his plump lips pressing a big and sloppy kiss there, his hands now roaming through your body — you knew what he wanted, already grinding your hips against his. 

“you'll make me cry again.” you managed to say between the shaky breaths leaving your mouth due to his wandering hands. “i— ah— love you.”

both of you couldn't wait to be intertwined as one for eternity, expressed by the sounds and movements of your bodies — and the proposal would always be remembered by you as one of your christmas's miracle.

[withonly-sweetheart]

di leon kennedy doing pushups ;) inspired by this (suggestive) art by @bunnivievve because i think artists have too much power. lowkey im typing this out so fast rn im tweaking i have exams tomorrow NOOOOOOOO-

<><><><>

your husband joined the police force. great. awesome. what a wonderful sight, at least it is for all the people watching on the outside. the picture perfect couple; a loving wife and a valiant husband to match.

what they never saw were the late nights up, studying the same textbook about a trillion times over, pretty much memorizing the goddamn contents of it before stumbling into your bed.

his body might be warm but that warmth always abandons you in what seems like a second, the snap of his fingers, because it's become a recurring instance that he's left early to train.

always making good impressions, that man. and you're proud of him, you have to be and you're not ashamed to show it. you've seen his growth, his courage that he displays, the hurt he has to suffer through all to keep the city safe. his city, where you are. his heart.

which is why it comes as a surprised when your husband, a man you've been married to for seven years, comes up to you with a bashful expression, eyes darting left and right, grazing all the corners of the world.

"do you... uhm... think... i'm strong?" you blink, dazed.

"why? what's wrong?"

"well, some of my higher ups had some concerns about... strength. they wanted me to 'strengthen my core'." he chuckles. "whatever that means."

"and you came to me for that," you drone.

"i've seen you do all those exercises around the house!" he protests. "can't you just teach me a few?"

"first of all, those are to help with cramps, and second, no." it seems like he's given up, but you know him well enough to know that that will never be the case.

"aw, c'mon, please?" he murmurs, taking your hand into his, caressing the bottom of your knuckles, rubbing soothing circles into your fingers. "just once?"

so you find yourself relenting to the man who always knows what to say to get you to crack. maybe next time you should be more demanding, hm?

needless to say, it's all made up for when you stretch out into the first pose, a simple sitting position with your legs extended fully, fingertips reaching the tips of your toes.

leon nods, and he gets the sitting part right. but when he tries to copy your movements, he hisses and leans back, groaning with the effort.

"what's wrong, officer kennedy?" you tease. "scared you'll break a hip bone?"

"quiet," he grumbles. "i'm just a little sore from yesterday."

"of course, of course, a very busy day running errands, such as picking up doughnuts, might i add?"

he scowls at you and tries again, and again, but every time he can't seem to cope with the fact your flexibility, even at your maturing age, is better than his, even with all his rigorous training.

"looks like you couldn't do it," you say smugly, smirking directly at him, angling your body to face him. "told you so."

"i think it's my turn now," he says, creeping towards you. and this time he seems to have the prowess of a panther, easily slotting himself into place above you.

"your turn for what?" you ask, somewhat suggestively. he grins.

"how 'bout i show you what i've learned?"

fuck, you'll never doubt him again, will you? his sweet, submissive girl, arching beneath him, one hand pressed on the floor near your head, keeping him supported. the other is clasped behind his back, in an ethereal tilt that has his chest hair hitting all the right angles of the dying sun.

your knee is thrown over his shoulder, and the position should be awkward, you think, yet it feels as natural as anything. he pistons his hips further into you, and he's been mumbling something in your ear since he started.

now that you can hear him better through his rough, sloppy pants, you hear a steady rhythm. "twenty-five... twenty-six..."

he's counting, you realize after your mind-shattering orgasm, whimpering underneath him as he finishes, muscles flexing in a manner you'd never thought to admire until you realize why.

he's counting the pushups, god, that's all he's been doing this whole time. and you'd be damned if you didn't send a silent prayer of thanks back to the academy, where they trained him to do this.

but you're sure this isn't how they expected him to apply it in real life. hey, what can you say? seems like you're finally enjoying your husband's career and all the perks it comes with.

"my pretty wife, going around doing all those stretches, driving me fucking crazy bending over like that," he rambles, lowering himself to shower your face in messy kisses before tilting his head back to the side with a hiss, lifting himself back up.

back up and back down, a slower pace with his upper body while his lower half rails into you, and all you can do is lie there, helpless to what he gives you, craving more yet somehow satiated at the same time.

"yeah, mmm, fuck, just like that-" he breaks off his counting to whisper sweet nothings in your ear for the second time that evening, pushing his spend back in while you grasp for purchase on his biceps, feeling the hardened muscle lurch back towards you as you dig your nails deep into his skin.

"needed that, didn't you?" you whisper breathlessly after he collapses onto the hard wooden floor next to you. his eyes shine with effort and pride, and after a low exhale, he immediately scoops you up.

he carries you back to the bedroom, where he lies you down onto the comforters, making sure you're comfortable before trailing up and down your neck with soft, carefully measured kisses once again.

"w-what're you doing?" you murmur, twitching under the overstimulation. leon's eyes have shifted to a deeper color, a darker lilt to his eyes when he reaches your gaze.

"i can do better than that, sweetheart."

"better?" you ask jokingly, because what could make him better? anything better than that is a menace to society, you decide.

he sighs, shaking his head before cupping your body with his hand again, rubbing your skin in such a doting gesture that you don't expect his next words.

"i said a hundred, sweetheart. i didn't even make it to fifty."

series masterlist

[quickstappen]

track 001: end of the beginning

A/N: hello, welcome to another smau i guess, enjoy? this is the real reason why the latest part of carved my name was up so late yall ;) oscar won his first race and i had to do something!! i'm sorry to all the carlos fans, but someone's gotta be the bad guy, yk?

masterlist | next

december 2020

liked by prema_team, arthur_leclerc and others

paola_sainz I can't believe it is time to go, it still doesn't feel real. Thank you for those amazing years together, for the memories and happiness, I couldn't wish for better team, better friends, I love you all and I'll miss you tremendously. Cheers to the next chapter in our lives.

see all comments...

prema_team We'll miss you vice-champ! Make sure to visit when you're around ❤️

↳ paola_sainz of course! I'll visit so much you'll get sick of me ;)

sainzssss_ noooooooo, what???

shithappens what. the. fuck.

carlossainz55 Excited for your new journey! Now you can spend more time in my garage 🔥😎

↳ paola_sainz yeah, im so excited too!

↳ quickstappen this seems... dry

↳ albono_23 right???

ilpredestinatox oh noo! you were the reason i decided to follow my dreams and go to college for mechanical engineering, i can't believe you're not gonna be racing anymore

↳ paola_sainz oh sweetie, i'm so glad you're following your dreams! dm me if you have any enfeneering problems - i can ask around and get back to you ;)

↳ nyoomf1 she's so sweet 🥹

arthur_leclerc I'll miss your annoying face you know? (only a tiny bit)

↳ paola_sainz acting like you won't see me at basically every race anyway (i'll miss you too) 🤍

↳ arthur_leclerc 🤍

view more...

february 2024

liked by arthur_leclerc, jensonbutton and others

paola_sainz does it ever drive you crazy...?

3 years ago i was broken beyond recognition, i lost my purpose and will to carry on, i thought that without racing i was noone. to think that the same girl just sold out her first collection of athletic wear is absolutely crazy, i can't believe how far we've come and i can't wait to see what else we can do

see all comments...

carlando333 girl 💀💀

↳ ilpredestinatox what do you mean, tf

↳ carlando333 Carlos literally just lost his seat for next year

↳ ilpredestinatox well, this is not carlos' page is it? she's not his keeper, she's allowed to be her own person

cuddlyxricc can she like,, read the room?

byelandoo lol, she does not care about the ferrari drama AT ALL

carlove55 are you gonna comment on the carlos situation??

shithappens she looked so happy when she was racing 🥺 i still can't accept that i'll never see her in a f1 car

↳ quickstappen right??

arthur_leclerc i am going to model the next collection

↳ paola_sainz don't know if you've noticed, but i make WOMEN'S athletic wear

↳ arthur_leclerc you just don't want to see me slay

↳ paola_sainz do not say slay ever again

charlosp1 💀

spanishxbabe so Carlos means nothing to you?

jensonbutton So proud! Brittany loves her set 🧡

↳ paola_sainz 🧡

charles_leclerc Knew you could do it Lola 🤍

↳ paola_sainz thank you for believing in me Charlie 🤍

view more...

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and others

paola_sainz oh baby, how good to see you again!

(also, charles_leclerc go and win me a race please, i don't know how many forza ferrari sempre's i have left in me)

see all comments...

shithappens i'm sorry, is that a man? with my wife?

quickstappen queen is back in paddock!

arthur_leclerc so the ones with me in them were not good enough to make it, but the random one with him tying you're shoelaces made it?

↳ paola_sainz guess so, try harder next time

screwderriaf1 she's so real for that, Charles for WDC2024

↳ ilpredestinatox GIRL, be so fr rn

↳ screwderriaf1 just let me dream man

carlando333 oh come on! she doesn't care about carlos at all! fucking snake, thinking she's better than him🐍

logansargeant nice of you to visit old friends

↳ paola_sainz we're literally going for lunch tomorrow?

↳ sheilaxf1 they know each other??

↳ lewibear yeahh, since her time at prema i'm pretty sure

charles_leclerc Yeah, no pressure right

↳ paola_sainz you know it ;)

charlosp1 did she really say that she wishes that charles won and not her brother who's fighting for his future this season 💀

redmilton Paola Sainz soft launching a white man in the year 2024 was not on my bingo card

cuddlyxricc sorry but first no comment on carlos' seat and now this? yeah no, not cool

elmatadorf1 traitor! rooting for charles when your brother lost his seat because of him 🐍

madi_races is my girlfriend in a relationship with a.... man??

predestined55 absolutely no honour, not surprised tbh after seeing who she hangs out with 🐍

darth_nando can we please stop mentioning Carlos in every comment section under her posts? it's so unnecessary

view more...

paola's messages:

YouTube, Screaming Meals | now playing:

↳ 01:52s - - - > - 04:37s

↳ 21:46s - - - > - 29:31s

↳ 52:14s - - - >- 1:08:11s

paola's messages:

madi's radio: okay look, the text between Spanish speakers.... i do not know Spanish and putting entire conversations through google translate is not the best, so let's just pretend they're in Spanish, yeah?

click here to be added to the hiding in the seams taglist!

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[saerotonins]

watching nanami's last dance

ft. nanami kento x reader

content warnings: fluff, light angst, jjk actor au, descriptions of nanami's scene (im so sorry), light hurt/comfort, slightly suggestive at the end

wc: 1047

note: guys he's not dead it's all just acting ok

jjk actor au masterlist

the soft breeze of the air, the pretty scene across the beach.

kuantan, malaysia indeed looks like a sight for sore eyes. but more so is your husband.

kento looks so peaceful, the small but obvious smile adorned his face as he take his slow dance, prance like someone who had just got their freedom. he looks so free of pain, even through an untrained eye, his heart feels light.

and it was then replaced with kento's cries of pain, agony, and compassion, while fighting off curses that surrounded him.

contrary to what you have seen earlier, he looks so exhausted, yet he still fought so hard to protect the youth and save everyone with all what he has and with all what he can do.

but as soon as he felt like he did enough, as a man, kento lowers his pride, and with a soft smile on his face,

"you've got it from here," he had said as the soft smile on his vanished the moment he did.

kento jolted beside you as he heard you wail and cry while hugging the plushie of him. he can clearly see the pain in your eyes and the snot present in your face.

"NANAMI, NOOOOOOOO!" you shouted all over again as you hugged the plushie tighter. your eyes and nose are all swollen from all the crying and your breaths and voice have been escalating really bad.

she's really taking this seriously, huh, kento had thought while staring at you across the couch.

eventually, he felt a bit bad and scooted closer to you and wrapped you around his embrace as he kisses the crown of your head.

"you're here crying over a fictional man when the real thing is just right here, darling," he said with a slight hint of humor in his voice. even without seeing his face, you know he's grinning.

you try to wiggle out of his arms but unfortunately, he's stronger than you. "you're making fun of meeeee," you say as you sniffle through your still flowing tears. "he deserved betterrrrrr, he had done so much why is his ending like thisssssss," kento couldn't help but smile as he cradle you in his arms and brush your hair through his fingers as a way to comfort you.

"he deserved so much more kento, i'm so sad," you managed to muster in between tears, "i know, darling, i know, but i'm always here, alright?" he coos at you as he sways both of your bodies back in forth and hugging you closer to his body.

you stayed in the same position all while kento is still cradling you to comfort until the episode ended. once the commercials started rolling, he spoke up.

"you're so cute when you get worked up like this, darling," he chuckled as he cupped your face with his large and gentle hands so he could see you.

there, his heartstrings had been tugged once again by you. even after crying, you still look majestic despite the tear stains and snot that had decorated your face. he also felt a part of his shirt getting wet because of your tears but he doesn't mind it one bit.

"stop it, that scene was made so well it emotionally broke me, nanami deserved better," you pouted from his teasing.

"mhm-hm, i know, darling, you were so adorable," he replied accompanied by a kiss on your forehead.

"stop flirting with me right now, i literally just lost a husband," you say with faux annoyance in your voice.

you suddenly hear and see your husband let out a very hearty belly laugh, he finds your breakdown very much amusing. "alright, i'm sorry for disrespecting the dead," kento joked as he continued to laugh.

you slapped his biceps for teasing you, "you're such a menace! i'm a grieving wife and you're making fun of me," 

"alright, alright, i'll stop," kento then reached for your left hand and brought it to his face. you see him look into your eyes right before kissing the finger where your wedding and engagement rings sit. "you're still cute though, too bad i wasn't able to record it," the playful glare from your eyes made him chuckle.

"okay but seriously though, that made me so sad, i want to fulfill his wish," a frown creeped onto your face when you remembered that nanami wanted to go to malaysia.

kento's eyebrows perked up, "you want to go to malaysia?" 

"we will go to malaysia, he at least deserves to live his dreams through me," kento nods, agreeing to your idea, "alright, we'll go there around summer, i heard it's best to visit at that time, how's that sound?" kento saw a glimpse of sparkle in your eyes and your wide smile as you vigorously nodded before you pull him into a tight embrace.

a comfortable silence envelopes the both of you for a while until he breaks it and faces you, "you let a fictional man's dreams comes true but how about mine?" he said with faux jealousy and sadness in his eyes, and a hint of mischief, one that you didn't catch.

you look at him with confusion in your eyes, "huh? what would you like then?" kento closes the gap between you and whispers to your ears, "i really, really, want to have a daughter," and when he faces you again, a shit-eating grin is present on his face.

you were shocked, to say the least. "you're so stupid!" you say out of nervousness as you feel the heat rise on your face, but the stutter in your voice doesn't go unnoticed by your husband.

ah, five years of marriage and he still makes you feel like this.

you cleared your throat right after you recovered, "well, maybe we can start making that dream a reality now."

kento's smile grew even wider and let out a hearty giggle, "that's my girl," he said with a husky voice before lifting you off from the couch and carrying you bridal style as he took wide strides towards your shared bedroom.

"it's gonna take many rounds though, so i hope you're ready," he says mischievously with a bright smile spread across his face.

oh boy, it's going to be a long night.

another note: this is a treat for my fellow kento girlies. i hope everyone is doing well (i'm still suffering btw), giving yall a big virtual hug <33

[janetfraiser]

I am having altogether WAY TOO MUCH FUN

OH NO

[shalomniscient]

in a fluffy mood with reader and natasha…..

imagine for a sec that you’ve been injured in some way, and are currently being tended to in natasha’s clinic. she’s got you on a bed nearest to the wall for some privacy, a curtain placed all around. you’re juiced up on painkillers at the moment, and natasha gently brushes some hair out of your face as she prepares to change the bandages on your body.

you blink your eyes open at her slowly, clearly loopy. natasha smiles at you, her gaze softening in fondness. “good morning, sleepyhead,” she says softly. you only squint at her, and natasha can see the gears grinding in your muddled brain.

“mornin’,” you slur out, a hint of hesitation in your tone. natasha hums, taking your dazed state in stride. her hands start to unbutton your medical gown, only for you to gasp and start wriggling on the clinic bed, trying to squirm away from her touch.

“noooooooo,” you whine, “you can’t do that!”

natasha blinks, cocking her head to the side in confusion and pulling her hands back. “…i’m sorry?”

“you can’t touch me like that,” you babble with conviction, “only my wife can touch me like that.”

oh. oh. as it clicks into place in her head, natasha can’t help but throw her head back and laugh. aeons, you are so cute. you look at her funnily as she laughs, your eyes narrowing into a pointed stink eye. after a moment, natasha wipes a tear from her eye and clears her throat.

“darling,” she says gently, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers in a way that shows off both of your glittering wedding rings, “i am your wife.”

for a while, you’re silent. your eyes flick from the rings to natasha’s face and then back to the rings, before a broad, giddy smile blooms across your face.

“tashaaaaa!” you croon, squeezing her hand and wriggling excitedly on the clinic bed. “missed youuu—“

natasha chuckles at your excitement, pressing a kiss to your entwined hands and pulling a gleeful giggle from you. “i missed you too, darling. can i change your bandages now?”

“you can do whatever you want to me, tasha,” you say solemnly, nodding to yourself. natasha chuckles again and finally starts getting to work on your bandages.

once you’ve sobered up, she definitely isn’t letting you live this one down.

[lollytea]

I think the first time Hunter gets sick post-finale, his automatic response is to walk it off. Because that's what he's always done, and if you can't even handle common mold, how pathetic are you?

But as soon as Willow realizes that he's sick she's like FUCK YES!!!! Wait I mean poor baby oh noooooooo :(((( [fuck yes!] Now is her chance to show off what wife material she is. She's gonna make him feel so fucking taken care of!! She's gonna crush it!!!!

She shows up at his bedside (Darius bullied him into quarantining in his room) with a flask of soup and a bunch of her own herbal treatments and spends the next hour doting on him.

And it is unbelievable how fast the switch in Hunter's brain flips and how he goes downplaying his illness to milking the fuck out of it. The boy who once walked through a blizzard on a broken leg is now all like "my head hurts 🥺 I think it would feel better if you played with my hair again 🥺"

And Willow, who is not an idiot, is just like "oh I am SO getting wifed 🤠" and goes to town on his hair until he falls asleep

[onskepa]

What is next?

Hello everyone! Consider this as a base for all the reaction fics!

----------------------

“Dad, let's watch this one!” 

“No this one!” 

“Noooooooo!! That one looks boring!!” 

“Oh my eywa….” 

Jake massages his head as his kids argue what to watch first. He regrets introducing the world of TV to his kids. It is already bad enough for Neytiri, who loves dragons, demands to see all the dragon based shows and movies. The humans are no help either, they would happily show his kids, with the addition of the entire clan, their personal favorite cinemas. 

And to think it couldn't have gotten any worse, Tonowari and his family would come for occasional visits, and now they too, are addicted to watching cinemas. 

“Alright! Alright! You guys can watch whatever you want, but once a week! Seriously it scrambles your brains "Jake says to literally everyone. 

His wife, his children, Tonowari, his wife and family, and the literal clan. Along with his well known human friends. All began to complain, some saying they don't agree, some do, so say it won't be fair. 

“Seriously! I wanna know what happens next in stranger things!” spider complains along with ao’nung. Rotxo grins as he shakes his head, “too bad”. 

“But I wanna watch bluey!” Tuk whines, and Jake turns to her confused. “Bluey? You never watched it before” he says. His little girl shrugs, “no but uncle norm says its a fun show for kids like me and people with family issues”. 

Ow. 

Norm looks away, chuckling nervously. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jake can feel a growing headache. 

“Alright, since I have said we can only watch one thing a week, it will take everyone to vote what will be the next media to consume to vote wisely!” he announces. 

“Aaaawwww…..” more complaints. 

Oh may Eywa help with his patience. 

“Even if we do watch something, not everyone will be able to see it at the same time. Some might fall behind or miss it entirely” lo’ak points out. Rotxo blinks, suddenly remembering something. 

“It would be sad if your other human friends would miss it” he says. Lo’ak and spider shrug a bit, 

“It is fine, for them, they have other things to do” lo’ak answers. Spider turns, not entirely agreeing, “well not all of them. I know some will still join us, sure they can move their duties around”. 

As they talk tsireya, neteyam and kiri join. 

“Well, whatever movie we will watch, I am sure it will be wonderful” tsireya says with hopeful joy in her tone. 

“I don't mind watching some sad time to time” kiri comments. Neteyam only nods, he doesn't have anything particular in mind to see. The movies and shows they have watched so far were amazing. 

After a week, the votes have reached a winner. And now everyone had settled into their “theater” which is one of the largest caves in the Hallelujah mountains. Big enough for the clan to set in and watch. 

“Alright, I see no complaints for this one so let's do our best to just relax” Jake says as the film begins to play. Everyone was sharing popcorn or other snacks, some together, some as a couple, and some sitting on others. Everyone was silent as the screen began to fill with color and motion. 

So as I said, this is a starting point for all the reaction fics. There will be no specific order, expect for the days that I post them!

[always---wrong]

OKAY, so I know no one ever talks about SAO abridged on here but it's version of Kirito is like definitely autistic, right? I have the tism and I'm just saying, he probably has it too.

I'm not sure about the original Kirito since I couldn't get through season one but i genuinely feel so connected to abridged Kirito. He's so bad at socializing, he's so insecure, and he has a special interest in video games. I mean come on, he would rather live in a video game than in reality. Season 2 really shows the true scope of his autism. He went through serious character growth the last season so he's a lot less egotistical in this one. Because of this we can see what he was hiding before. He genuinely cares about Tiffany and their friendship and he shows this by directly stating it which is like a literal and blunt way to do things which can be autistic. He gets all excited about the new VR fairy game to the point he didn't hear Tiffany talk about his missing wife. He starts rambling and My God I love that scene so much cause he's just so happy and we don't get to see him happy too much. His little "Noooooooo," when he was acting out him destroying all the noobs lives in head rent free.

Kirito also speaks in a lot of sarcasm and movie references. And that is not necessarily an autism symptom but I do that a lot and so do a lot of other autistic people I know. He also takes things literally, like when Asuna (is that how you spell it?) said he really speaks from the heart in episode 2 and he responds, "I thought I was speaking from my mouth, guess that shows what I know about autonomy." He seemed completely serious too.

I just LOVE this Kirito so much to the point when SAO is mentioned I want to say I love that anime but then I remember that it's not the anime that I love but the abridged version on YouTube. Like, I see Kirito fan art and I have to remind myself that it's not the character I fell in love with.

I find it kinda funny that I resonate so much with a fan made thing rather then the original.

Anyway, this giant thing is just a scratch on the surface of reasons I love SAO abridged. The character development, humor, emotional moments and story beats are just so good.

I can go on and on about why I think Kirito is autistic too. Like, I only named a few things.