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goddessofroyalty · 2 years ago

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Fandom: House of the Dragon

Pairing: Aemond/Lucerys

Verse: Blood for Blood

Warnings: omegaverse, mpreg, I threw the canon timeline out the window

I finally had a whole minute to breathe this week (it’s been... an interesting week) and instead of finishing the Blood for Blood arc I wrote another unconnected scene at a random point in the timeline. So take it while I try and survive the weekend of crazy that’s about to hit me.

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Viserys is having a good day, and as such, Alicent’s husband has requested the whole family eat together.

Rhaenyra arrives first with her husband and younger three. She is proving annoyingly stubborn this time around. Not fleeing back to Dragonstone like she normally does at the first sign of having to take responsibility for some of her actions. Rather she sends Daemon or her eldest back as necessary to ensure everything is still at peace there while she remains within the capital.

Rhaenyra claims it is so she can support her son as he adjusts to life as a married omega but Alicent’s father believes it is so she can build a presence in court and seek out potential allies for when the King eventually dies. Alicent is inclined to believe her father right in this matter.

Still Alicent smiles politely as they get the younger Aegon and Viserys settled at the table with their nurses. The boys just old enough that they might be able to last the full meal before they lose patience and need to be taken away.

The same can be said about Helaena’s children who arrive with their mother but are put with their cousins to make the nurses’ job easier for the night. The five of them looking like the family they are by blood.

Rhaenyra’s and Daemon’s eldest three join next. Aegon trailing in a little after that, clearly having expected the meal to have already started and his drunken state to not be less noticed with everyone already focused on their food and conversation.

Alicent’s eldest glances around at everyone looking at him.

“How am I early?” he asks because they had been given a time and he clearly had waited until after.

“We are still waiting for Lucerys and his mate,” Viserys says and Alicent bites her tongue to prevent herself from correcting him that they are waiting for his son and Aemond’s mate.

In this case he is right though. Aemond has always been punctual. The same cannot be said about Rhaenyra’s second born.

“We should start before the food gets cold,” Alicent suggests after another awkward minute of silence around the table.

“We can wait,” her husband says.

Another minute passes.

“Perhaps we should send someone to go check on them,” Alicent suggests because that should hopefully at least somewhat shame Lucerys for his tardiness and irresponsibility.

To think he will be left to rule Driftmark one day, the place will be in ruins within a week. Alicent takes some solace that her son will be able to step in before the omega can do too much damage.

“You are right,” Viserys says, finally seeing some sense, “perhaps something has happened to him.”

Just as he goes to wave at one of the guards the doors open and the missing two members enter. Aemond keeping pace at Lucerys side despite the omega’s gait being slowed by the waddle he has gained as his stomach swelled with child.

“Sorry we are late,” Lucerys says, a slight incline of his head as close as they are getting to an apologetic bow apparently. His hands not even moving from where they are supporting the weight of his stomach. “We were held up.”

He looks to Aemond at it as if he is to blame for it. And Aemond merely stares right back. The two of them holding each other’s gaze in a way that, as loathe as she is to say it, reminds Alicent of the silent conversations Rhaenyra and her mate have.

“It is quite alright,” Viserys says with a smile that is clearly trying to reassuring despite his pain. “I am sure you would much prefer to be resting than being here.”

“If my young brothers and nephews can handle it than I am sure I can as well,” Lucerys says. Joffrey sticks his tongue out at this brother like a brat not a prince, but the five younger ones sit up a little straighter the words somehow encouraging them.

Aemond remains Lucerys’ shadow as they go to their seats. Alicent’s second son only sitting down himself once Lucerys is settled and the staff are already hurrying to bring the first course out to them all.

Viserys gestures for Alicent to lean over to him as everyone finally starts to dine.

“I told you they would be a good match,” he says proudly, nodding to the two of them. And Alicent watches as Aemond’s eye keeps sweeping over Lucerys plate as the omega talks to his cousins. “I knew after how he was with Helaena when she was expecting.”

“Aemond is a very responsible alpha,” Alicent agrees. If there was such a thing as too responsible she would say that he was that. She knew he watched over his older siblings in a way that almost made her wish their positions were reversed, often dragging Aegon home before his brother met those with unflattering opinions about the crown after drinking so much he can no longer stand or keeping Helaena and the children company when Aegon seemed to forget his wife and sister existed. And now Aemond was mated to the very boy who had taken his eye and was taking more care in ensuring Lucerys health and safety than most could claim from their husbands and certainly more than the bastard deserved.

He has studied more and trained harder than anyone else in the family. Claimed the largest dragon that still breathes. And despite all of it only is getting something to his name because he is marrying the bastard son of Rhaenyra.

Aemond deserves Driftmark even if it is not his by birthright.

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It is Aemond’s fault. Lucerys was getting cramps and he wouldn’t let him do aything until he got checked over.

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darkhazard19 · 1 year ago

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Call of Duty: Black Ops Zombies OC information (Primis)

Name: Azaria Violeta Arkon

Age: 21

Birthday: November 17, XXXX

Height: 5’7

Weight: 147 lbs

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: Hispanic/Latina American

Languages: English, Spanish, German, somewhat fluent in Russian and Japanese

Place of Birth: Houston, Texas

Nicknames/aliases

Zari

Leta

Ari

La Muerte/Lady Death

Doll (By Primis Dempsey)

Little Miss Sassafras (By Primis Dempsey)

小さな戦士/Chīsana Senshi/Little Warrior (By Primis Takeo)

Relationships (note: Those crossed out are deceased)

Family

Rose Serrano (Mother)

Wayon Arkon (Father)

Grace Arkon (Step-Mother)

Mercy Arkon (Older half-sister)

Keegan “Red” Arkon (Older half-brother)

Chloe Adams (Niece)

Sterling Adams (Brother-in-law)

Friends

Sofia Delgado (Childhood best friend)

Isabella Delgado (Mentor, maternal figure)

Bruno Meyer (Best friend)

Primis

Thomas “Tank” Dempsey (Lover, ally)

Edward Richtofen (Ally)

Nikolai Belinki (Hesitant ally)

Takeo Masaki (Best friend, ally)

Personality

Leta is a highly intelligent, sarcastic, witty, and cold woman. She’s rather reserved and blunt, making people somewhat intimidated at first glance. She can also be quite playful and somewhat flirty when she wants to be too. Although a bit of a hot head, Leta is a much calmer person than her Ultimis counterpart, Ria. Leta is more of a slow boil to anger instead of it being instantaneous. Leta doesn’t take shit from anyone and will very much tell a person that straight to their face. Despite the somewhat harsh exterior, Leta is a deeply caring and loyal woman. And it shows through her actions. When she loves, she loves with her whole being. Leta will always ensure her friends and loved ones are okay, usually being a voice of reason and a person to go to for advice. Leta is also very perceptive.

Backstory

Leta is the illegitimate/bastard child of her mother (Rose) and father (Wayon). Wayon was a seasoned lawyer and owned a big farm. Rose was a young woman who worked as a sex worker and the fling with Wayon was supposed to be a one-time thing but an affair quickly blossomed between them. Rose was unaware that Wayon was a married man with two kids, finding out the truth when she shared the news of being pregnant with him.

Wayon wasn’t happy with the news, wanting her to get an abortion. But Rose insisted on keeping the child, at that point, she didn’t care about being with him but she knew she wanted to have this child and nothing was going to stop that. At her refusal, Wayon ended things with her and left Rose to raise the baby alone. When Leta was born, Rose wanted to provide her with the best life could. Making work as a seamstress and putting her life as a sex worker behind her. It wasn’t much, the money but Leta grew up humbled and appreciated everything her mother did for her. Rose would attempt to date but her number one priority was Leta and it stayed that way.

Unfortunately, Rose grew rather sick early in Leta’s life. Wanting to help her mother, Leta took it upon herself to learn how to sew, make clothes, and help her mother’s shop. She also took small jobs from the people in their town to put extra money on the table, to pay for the necessities and her mom’s medicine. It was all for naught though as Rose had succumbed to her illness, Leta waking up to find her mother dead next to her. Leta was only 6. Before she died, Rose had told her daughter who her father was. Even leaving a letter that should anything happen to her, Wayon would at least take his daughter in.

When Wayon got the news of Rose’s death and her wish for him to take his daughter in, he refused at first. Not wanting anything to do with his bastard child, it was his wife, Grace, taking sympathy for the 6-year-old, that convinced her husband to take her. And so he did, albeit grudgingly. Leta was both scared and somewhat excited to see who her father was and looked like. Even more excited at the fact she had an older sister and brother. She learned very quickly though that her father didn’t exactly care for her, not like how he cared for his other children. Her older brother “Red” was happy to have a little sister to care for and the two hit it off like two peas in a pod. The eldest child and her sister, Mercy was a different case. Mercy didn’t like Leta for the simple fact that she was the bastard child, a walking reminder of her father’s adultery. Leta and Mercy’s relationship was very strained and although the two would have moments where they got along, Mercy was mainly cold and somewhat emotionally abusive to Leta. Letting her know she was a bastard child and that their father never wanted her. It was very apparent who was the favored daughter and the black sheep daughter. Grace never held any contempt for Leta, it wasn’t the child’s fault her husband slept with another woman. She treated Leta like she was her own. Leta also made friends with a girl named Sofia and a boy named Bruno. Sofia’s mother, Isabella was the town's local doctor.

When Leta was 13, Grace died from an illness, Mercy was married and already out of the house, and “Red” was currently enlisting in the Marines. The whole family was there for the funeral, “Red” had to go back to base and Mercy just wanted to go back to her own home. Leta was left with Wayon who had a downwind spiral after his wife’s death, turning to alcohol to soothe his pain. He very quickly became abusive to Leta, physically and mentally. He would give her the lip and nose scar during a drunken rage of his and Leta would find refuge at Isa’s where she treated the wounds. Leta was far too scared to let anyone know of the abuse, instead learning how to avoid her father’s fits. There was one night, when Leta was 16 and her father attempted to molest her, so drunk that all he saw was Rose instead of Leta, and she fought back from his advances. She scratched his face up pretty badly and that led to another drunken rage where he slashed her left eye and whipped her back so badly, it was a miracle she didn’t die from blood loss. “Red” at the time was returning home for a bit and saw this play out. He beat Wayon to a bloody pulp before taking his baby sister and rushing her to Isa’s. Isa did the best she could, Leta would survive but with the addition of a scar on her left eye and multiple on her back to the ones on her lip and nose. “Red” would leave Leta in the guardianship of Isa as he had to return to base but he made sure to write letters to his sister and taught her how to shoot guns before he left. Leta would learn all things medical under the mentorship of Isa and would hang out with Sofia and Bruno when she had free time.

Two years later at 18, Leta heard news of her father dying of tuberculosis. The only feeling she felt was a sense of relief, not too upset at his death. During his funeral which she attended out of basic respect, she got back in touch with Mercy. Mercy was 28 and pregnant with her first child, the eldest sibling would share her regrets with her sister. Said she was sorry for how she treated Leta growing up, how she should’ve never blamed her for their father’s adultery, and that she should’ve been a better sister. Mercy was willing to start over with Leta and be the sister she should’ve been and Leta was happy to give Mercy that chance.

Unfortunately, a few months later, Mercy would die in childbirth and Leta’s niece, Chloe, was stillborn. Leta took her sister's and niece's deaths pretty hard. She would write to her brother-in-law, whom she met briefly at Grace’s funeral but was unable to hear back from him. It seemed though that life had it out for her when she turned 19 and learned of her brother’s death from a letter sent by her brother-in-law Sterling. Leta fell into a deep depression after the news, being the last of her family, she would self-harm but Sofia and Bruno would manage to stop her from doing anything too drastic. It didn’t help that she also faced even more scorn from her town, first, it was about her lack of legitimacy and now it was how she was death incarnate, bringing death to those around her, earning her the nickname La Muerte. It was at that time that she adopted the cold, reserved, and intimidating persona as a way to protect herself from any more hurt.

Sterling would visit Leta a few months after “Red’s” death to talk, Leta would humor her brother-in-law and Sterling offered her a position as a nurse in the Marines. He also said she can do work as a spy too. Leta was skeptical at first, asking Sterling why he would offer her that. Sterling would say that he knew Leta wasn’t your average woman and saw her potential, adding that “Red” had asked him to take care of Leta. The young Arkon thought about his offer, seeing a chance to prove not only her worth but her father wrong. Wayon always talked about how Leta was a disappointment of a woman, that she would never aspire to anything, that the only good thing she could do is be an obedient little housewife, and that she was simply an unwanted bastard.

She would join Sterling and, while she mainly worked as a nurse, would work some missions as a spy for Sterling when needed. Leta meets Dempsey after returning from a spy mission Sterling gave her, it was a brief interaction, but Dempsey was immediately taken in by Leta’s fierce attitude and her sass. Leta had to admit that she felt something when they first interacted, but she wouldn’t say it out loud. The second moment between them happened when she treated his wounds, the two conversing and smiling. It ended when they shared a kiss. Dempsey, however, knew Leta was scared to make anything official. He told her he’d be there for her whenever she was ready. Leta appreciated it. She was frightened as this was her first love, her first relationship, so she wanted to take things slow.

When she was 20, she lost Sterling as a casualty of war. The two of them were on a mission to retrieve letters that had information on the Germans. Sterling sacrificed himself so that Leta could get back safely. Leta would make it back with the letters, but she came back empty and nearly broken. She would’ve fallen into another pit of depression if it wasn’t for Tank. He comforted her and gifted her a heart-shaped locket. They decided at that moment to cement their relationship and make it official.

Two days after her 21st birthday, Leta and Dempsey were sent to Northern France on a mission to capture a member of group 935 as an H.V.T. 8 months later, they would form a team with Takeo Masaki and Nikolai Belinski. The 4 of them would join Richtofen on a journey to create a better tomorrow.

#cod zombies #call of duty zombies #codz #black ops zombies #azaria arkon #primis zari #cod zombies oc #codz oc #my oc #my art #oc info #info post

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hazard-15 · 1 year ago

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Call of Duty: Black Ops Zombies oc information (Primis)

Name: Azaria Violeta Arkon

Age: 21

Birthday: November 17, XXXX

Height: 5’7

Weight: 147 lbs

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: Hispanic/Latina American

Languages: English, Spanish, German, somewhat fluent in Russian and Japanese

Place of Birth: Houston, Texas

Nicknames/Aliases

Zari

Leta

Ari

La Muerte/Lady Death

Doll (By Primis Dempsey)

Little Miss Sassafras (By Primis Dempsey)

小さな戦士/Chīsana Senshi/Little Warrior (By Primis Takeo)

Relationships (Note: Names that are crossed out are deceased)

Family

Rose Serrano (Mother)

Wayon Arkon (Father)

Grace Arkon (Step-Mother)

Mercy Arkon (Older half-sister)

Keegan “Red” Arkon (Older half-brother)

Chloe Adams (Niece)

Sterling Adams (Brother-in-law)

Friends

Sofia Delgado (Childhood best friend)

Isabella Delgado (Mentor, maternal figure)

Bruno Meyer (Best friend)

Primis

Thomas “Tank” Dempsey (Lover, ally)

Edward Richtofen (Ally)

Nikolai Belinki (Hesitant ally)

Takeo Masaki (Best friend, ally)

Personality

Backstory

When Leta was born, Rose wanted to provide her with the best life could. Making work as a seamstress and putting her life as a sex worker behind her. It wasn’t much, the money but Leta grew up humbled and appreciated everything her mother did for her. Rose would attempt to date but her number one priority was Leta and it stayed that way. Unfortunately, Rose grew rather sick early in Leta’s life. Wanting to help her mother, Leta took it upon herself to learn how to sew, make clothes, and help her mother’s shop. She also took small jobs from the people in their town to put extra money on the table, to pay for the necessities and her mom’s medicine. It was all for naught though as Rose had succumbed to her illness, Leta waking up to find her mother dead next to her. Leta was only 6. Before she died, Rose had told her daughter who her father was. Even leaving a letter that should anything happen to her, Wayon would at least take his daughter in.

Leta was both scared and somewhat excited to see who her father was and looked like. Even more excited at the fact she had an older sister and brother. She learned very quickly though that her father didn’t exactly care for her, not like how he cared for his other children. Her older brother “Red” was happy to have a little sister to care for and the two hit it off like two peas in a pod. The eldest child and her sister, Mercy was a different case. Mercy didn’t like Leta for the simple fact that she was the bastard child, a walking reminder of her father’s adultery. Leta and Mercy’s relationship was very strained and although the two would have moments where they got along, Mercy was mainly cold and somewhat emotionally abusive to Leta. Letting her know she was a bastard child and that their father never wanted her.

It was very apparent who was the favored daughter and the black sheep daughter.

Grace never held any contempt for Leta, it wasn’t the child’s fault her husband slept with another woman. She treated Leta like she was her own.

Leta also made friends with a girl named Sofia and a boy named Bruno. Sofia’s mother, Isabella was the town's local doctor.

“Red” at the time was returning home for a bit and saw this play out. He beat Wayon to a bloody pulp before taking his baby sister and rushing her to Isa’s. Isa did the best she could, Leta would survive but with the addition of a scar on her left eye and multiple on her back to the ones on her lip and nose.

“Red” would leave Leta in the guardianship of Isa as he had to return to base but he made sure to write letters to his sister and taught her how to shoot guns before he left. Leta would learn all things medical under the mentorship of Isa and would hang out with Sofia and Bruno when she had free time.

Leta fell into a deep depression after the news, being the last of her family, she would self-harm but Sofia and Bruno would manage to stop her from doing anything too drastic. It didn’t help that she also faced even more scorn from her town, first, it was about her lack of legitimacy and now it was how she was death incarnate, bringing death to those around her, earning her the nickname La Muerte. It was at that time that she adopted the cold, reserved, and intimidating persona as a way to protect herself from any more hurt. Sterling would visit Leta a few months after “Red’s” death to talk, Leta would humor her brother-in-law and Sterling offered her a position as a nurse in the Marines. He also said she can do work as a spy too. Leta was skeptical at first, asking Sterling why he would offer her that. Sterling would say that he knew Leta wasn’t your average woman and saw her potential, adding that “Red” had asked him to take care of Leta. The young Arkon thought about his offer, seeing a chance to prove not only her worth but her father wrong. Wayon always talked about how Leta was a disappointment of a woman, that she would never aspire to anything, that the only good thing she could do is be an obedient little housewife, and that she was simply an unwanted bastard.

#cod zombies #call of duty zombies #codz #black ops zombies #azaria arkon #primis zari #cod zombies oc #codz oc #my oc #my art #info post #character info

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minetteskvareninova · 10 months ago

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Minette watches Medici, part 23 (Lost Souls)

-So, this is the culmination of Lorenzo's villain arch. He's fully the bad guy now. And I... Didn't hate that. The writing around that wasn't terrible, although it also wasn't exactly awe-inspiring either. My main problem with this episode is in the other half of this episode's emotional core - Lorenzo and Clarice's health complications, because the writing around that was an unmitigated dumpster fire.

-To start with, let's talk about the historical Lorenzo's health. The thing is, he has suffered from an array of chronic health issues since he was a young man, at the time thought to have been the result of gout, though I've seen modern research dispute this; Wikipedia links a paper that claims Lorenzo de' Medici suffered from acromegaly and his death might's been a result of complications from that.

-Either way, you'll notice that the IRL version is actually better written than the show one. Not only does Lorenzo launch the house of Medici into unprecedented heights despite his chronic health issues (the Handicapped Badass trope and all that), but his premature death is properly foreshadowed instead of Lorenzo suddenly starting to limp, causing doctor to announce he is dying of... Gout? Yeah, that's another thing. Gout ISN'T A DEADLY DISSEASE. You can't die from gout, you just can't. Now, it does contribute to kidney diseasses that can actually kill you, and also is a result of a garbage lifestyle (bad diet, lack of excersise, that sort of thing) that can cause other, more lethal complications. But it never kills you on its own. Like, you could maybe justify some of the inaccuracy by "well, the renessaince doctor wouldn't know any of THAT", but this still leaves us with how sudden the deterioration of Lorenzo's health is in the show and how mild his symptoms are compared to real life. Neither of which is a good change, to be honest.

-But at least he doesn't just drop dead of completely unexplained reasons like his poor wife! Like, if I were to hazard a guess, I'd say Clarice died of a miscarriage, except she doesn't even bleed??? She just collapses, at first seemingly in tears of guilt, but not in physical pain... And then Lucrezia D is carrying her home? And in a few minutes (and seemingly a couple of hours at most in-universe) of screentime, she is just dead?! Did she died of broken heart or some shit?! Look, real Clarice died of tuberculosis, and I know in the show it would probably just sound like a rethread of Simonetta's death. I get that changing it to miscarriage makes a lot of sense considering that was indeed something potentially lethal back then, also Clarice had several in her life, so it's not a bad idea in principle. I also get that the writers were trying to tie Lorenzo's personal tragedy to his professional downfall. But in so doing, they rendered a powerful scene of Clarice being overwhelmed by guilt and despair over her husband's actions kinda silly by almost implying guilt and despair killed her?

-And don't get me wrong, it is a very powerful scene! I actually liked it a lot! Even the previous scene of Clarice learning Lorenzo sold their little girl to pope's failson isn't bad, especially since it retroactively gives more narrative weight to Lorenzo's previous disgust at another very young girl, Caterina Sforza, marrying a papal failson (well, failnephew, but you know).

-I am a bit miffed at the show's inconsistency around just how corrupt the renessaince papacy is. Like, at first, it doesn't seem nearly as bad as it is in The Borgias, but then Lorenzo apparently considers asking the pope to name his 14-year old son a cardinal perfectly normal, or at least nothing that a strategic match cannot fix??? It also begs the question why the fuck would the pope even agree to that considering he should still be mad about Sarzano, but okay.

-The one and only thing that I liked, nay, loved about Clarice's death... We got one last Clarice x Lucrezia D moment out of it! I know I shouldn't celebrate my girl dying, but like. Look at the pathetic little breadcrumbs they feed us shippers this season. I can't let my obsession starve to death, you know!

-I am not sure whether what Lorenzo did to poor Anna the beggar counts as bribery or gaslighting, but I guess the grey area was the point. Either way, I liked it! And I liked her giving money to Savonarola, overcome with guilt! See, I can be fair to this show, even if I am tired of it and can't wait for the final episode!

-I liked other things too, like Lorenzo going full villain mode and Piero grieving Tomasso. Even if Piero's actor... Look, Tewkesbury from Enola Holmes was 16, it's a bit more understandable if he doesn't hit every note. He isn't completely terrible in this, just... Not good.

-I only noticed in this episode that Savonarola is played by an Italian and dubbed. And I noticed, because the dub of his speech at the beginning, while passionate, clearly did not go as hard as the actor's expressions suggest he did in the original audio.

-Okay, that was exhausting. Onto the final episode!

#medici #minette watches medici #medici the magnificent

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aegor-bamfsteel · 3 years ago

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hey there, what is your opinion on Rhaenyra? (I know it’s unpopular but I don’t see her as a good ruler because some of her actions shows tyranny, maybe I’m just bitter that Rhaenys the queen who never was didn’t become queen despite having a better claim and the potential 🤷‍♀️).

Hi anon!

I’ve spoken a little about Rhaenyrà in some responses to other people’s answers, and mostly I’m just annoyed at how GRRM wrote her character, especially how she was basically supplanted as protagonist by Dæmon Targaryen, a character he liked too much for his own good. I don’t think your stance that she’s not a good ruler is unpopular at all; once she’s torturing her most important allies, demanding the execution of a girl protected by guest right from another ally, raising taxes and executing people to the point there’s riots to drive her out within 6 months, failing to provide critical aid resulting in the death of another ally, and then F&B1 invents the Silent Five, a flagrant act of tyranny for essentially speaking the truth…well, it’s hard to claim that she was anything but a tyrant. That’s half the point of the Dance of the Dragons, that neither her nor Aegon II were good rulers. However, GRRM forgot to give Rhænyra any redeeming features (unless you count love for her children, the same trait as Cersei). Even Aegon II demonstrated more bravery, fighting in battle twice, and even some diplomacy, considering he was able to take Dragonstone (of which Rhænyra had been liege since 113, demonstrating she was an awful ruler even then) by convincing some of her men to defect, all while disguising himself. He even has a better dragon; Sunfyre was able to detect Aegon needed him after he was wounded, and the two spent months searching for each other; whereas Syrax is lazy and her most important contribution to the war was getting Joffrey killed. Rhænyra didn’t have a single success in her reign, neither military nor diplomatic; the credit belongs to Dæmon (more on how he steals from her narrative later), Corlys Velaryon (who supported her and Dæmon though it’s strongly implied Dæmon murdered his only son and Rhænyra wanted to name her illegitimate children heirs to that son’s seat), and her son Jacaerys (with the dragon seeds and successfully treating with Northern allies). Her only consistent positive attribute was her beauty, but then GRRM relishes in telling us how she never lost pregnancy weight and how it took 6 bites for Sunfyre to eat her (much like how Cersei’s downfall is associated with her gaining weight). When people more competent than Rhænyra include a literal teenage boy and her drunken half-brother, and all of them are men, I can’t help but think there’s some misogyny involved.

There’s two main problems with this: 1) It’s not at all accurate to the Anarchy and 2) Rhænyra’s character, arc, and contributions are minimized in favor of Authorial Favorite Dæmon Targaryen.

In real life, Empress Matilda was the only surviving legitimate child of Henry I, never taught to rule and in fact shipped to the Holy Roman Empire at age 8, wed to the incompetent 13-year-old Geoffrey Plantagenet at 25 to settle a border dispute, was supported mainly by her illegitimate half-brother Robert Of Gloucester and her uncle David of Scotland, her forces succeeded in capturing rival Stephen but thanks to forces under the control of Stephen’s wife Mathilde (an absolute BAMF who also got the Scots to stay neutral) was driven away from London after an attempted coronation, staged a daring escape in the middle of winter when she was besieged at Oxford, swapped Robert for Stephen, fought a stalemate that divided the country, became a diplomat for her son Henry, and died peacefully age 65. She was bold, daring, spent her Formative years out of her home country, she couldn’t care less that her husband sired 3 illegitimate children (I mean her own dad sired 24. Really more medieval English kings had illegitimate children than not), she was capable of negotiating for her valuable allies, and we don’t even know what she looked like. She was not vain, incompetent, cowardly, undiplomatic, outwardly prejudiced toward illegitimate children, paranoid, or attempted to murder her husband’s lover. Which brings me to that husband in question…

GRRM got so interested in writing Dæmon Targaryen’s story that he reduced Rhænyra—the only widely acclaimed Targaryen queen claimant pre-canon, thus the natural protagonist of this story—to a prop in it as one of his many lovers. Dæmon gets all of the cool equipment and achievements Rhænyra lacks: the ancestral sword Dark Sister (which was made for a woman’s hands. Queen Rhaenys Targaryen Velaryon got super robbed), a special “bloodwyrm” dragon Caraxes that was “fearsome and experienced” in battle, he has multiple exceptional women motivated by their attraction to him when he’s less than faithful and quite cruel (not just Rhænyra, but the spymaster Mysaria, and the dragon warriors Laena and Nettles, with even Alicent rumored to have been his lover; suspiciously, Rhænyra stops taking lovers once she’s wed to him), despite having even less diplomatic skills than Rhænyra made up for it by massive success in battle even without using Caraxes (even though the military tactics described in the Taking of Stone Hedge are so bullshit even I could tell GRRM was tipping his hand), his hold over the gold cloaks was so strong even after years out of service that they betrayed the Greens for him…this is very over-the-top, especially when GRRM wrote Rhænyra as not being a warrior and constantly alienating her closest allies. She even alienates Dæmon by ordering Nettles’ death, causing him to have one of his few acts of humanity by telling Nettles to flee while he flies off to heroically die fighting actual cartoon villain Aemond (who becomes his biggest enemy because the established Rhænyra/Alicent&Aegon conflict wasn’t enough…Dæmon needs his own special rival) and the biggest dragon Vhagar. Yes, the man complicit in the murders of children gets a badass death in battle while Rhænyra gets eaten by a dragon after being betrayed by her closest allies. Rhaenyra starts off entitled and ends up a torturer and a tyrant, but Dæmon starts off as a predatory sadist and ends up…having a moment of reflection after Nettles‘ death warrant and successfully kills the Greens’ best warrior/dragon with his dying breath. Does this seem fair? Need I remind you that The Princess and the Queen was published as part of the anthology “Dangerous Women”, thus promising us a female centric conflict; but after The Rogue Prince it became the Daemon Story, with the female characters sexually connected to him to the point it’s their primary motivation (Mysaria) or character turning point (Nettles). All the female characters suffered to prop up Daemon, but with Rhaenyra it’s particularly frustrating because she was supposed to be the protagonist (with the requisite character arc, character assets to balance out those flaws, and fittingly tragic ending.) No surprise, my frustration with Dæmon (a recent addition to the Targ canon, considering how he didn’t even emerge as a character until TPATQ and thus has never been mentioned in canon era. The attempt to claim Daena named her son after this man is a pathetic retcon) as an authorial favorite nearly on the level of Bl00draven feeds into how annoyed I am with Rhænyra’s character. Maybe it’s just harder for GRRM to empathize with evil female characters than evil male ones (just look at Jaime and Tyrion versus Cersei), thus they get written with few of the gimmicks or nuance that make the latter so beloved.

#ask #opinion #anti targaryen #anti rhaenyra #anti daemon targaryen #asoiaf #grrm critical #female characters

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padfootastic · 3 years ago

Note

I squealed when I saw your WIP list, because I want to see them all!!! But reining myself in a little, I would love to see a snippet of ‘Harry has always been Sirius’ son…’

Also, I’m sorry, but I just had to ask about Harry punches Molly?!

hjhdsbjdsk ur too nice to me 🥺🥺 this talks about harry punching molly (i should’ve anticipated it but i’m still surprised by how interested people are in it lol) and this one is a snippet for the blood adoption

buuuut bc i love the fic and ur ask, here’s another one <3

Almost as if someone else is directing his movements, Harry walks until he’s standing in front of the tapestry, running curious fingers over the rough texture, picking on the raised names and portraits of Black family members long dead.

Guess Walburga Black’s actions didn’t hold much weight then. She could only do what she did because her husband had been dead and neither of her sons had been able to step into his shoes. That was something, at least.

Harry doesn’t know how long he stood there, tracing his fingers over names like Alphard Black, Callidora Longbottom (who knew Neville was part black?), Cedrella Weasley (that must be the infamous grandmother), Cassiopeia Black, and so on. So much history contained in a piece of woven tapestry, lost to the annals of time.

It’s not the Black family history that he’s particularly attached to, rather the implications for his own. What was the Potter lineage like? Did he have cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents? Had all of them died out? He knew that it was an old family line, traced back to the Peverells—there had to be other branches, right?

Right?

Harry doesn’t know whether he wants it to be true or not. On one hand, finding family couldn’t be anything but a worthwhile endeavour but on the other…knowing he had someone out there? Who wasn’t the Dursleys? It might just be the last straw for him. Perhaps it’s better to live in ignorance, then. Spend his time on a family that’s not his own, sever the emotional ties.

His fingers snag on Andromeda’s name and he smiles, lightly, seeing her back on the tapestry—whole, unburned, as a daughter of the House of Black should be. He moves past Narcissa, Draco, Bellatrix to reach the main branch, the one he’s been avoiding so far.

Orion Black. Walburga Black. Harry lingers on Regulus’ name, bowing his head in respect for the man—nay, boy who’d sacrificed himself without a single thought for the glory of it nor his own life. Slowly, painstakingly, he moves to the one name he almost doesn’t want to see. He knows what he’ll find—a restored, perfectly detailed Sirius Black III. He can picture it quite clearly in his mind. Does he really need to subject himself to the pain of actually seeing it?

“Surely…not…” Harry’s mumbled words trail off as he raises his head to stare straight ahead, eyes catching on something that wasn’t part of his confident mental image.

“What the buggering fuck,” he breathes out, leaning forward until he was a hairsbreadth away from the fabric, nose tickling at the minute threads but he paid no attention to that for his eyes were caught on a faint line continuing on from Sirius’ name.

A line that shouldn’t be there because it signified progeny. Something Sirius didn’t have. Harry is dead sure about that. So what—

With trembling fingers, he traces the line, finger dragging against the coarse material almost painfully slow until he reaches one Harry James Potter.

From this WIP game

#sirius black #harry potter #i hope u like it anon <3 #i basically just gave away the most important scene of the fic so far lmao #but ykno what #i don’t even care #i’m so happy w how this came out #and i want everyone to read it #the fact that i haven’t been able to complete/post it itches at me everyone i see the doc #so this is actually a good thing #ppb #pen’s asks #ask game

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itrytowrite-things · 4 years ago

Text

Murder podcasts

Spencer Reid x reader

Summary: Y/N has a tendency to listen to murder podcasts while doing chores, one day Spencer comes in unannounced scaring Y/N into action. (This summary sucks but it’s fluffy)

A/N: shout out to @with-paint, she helped me form some of this fic so check them out.

The eerie background music and narrator filled the kitchen as I scrubbed diligently at a plate. I blinked down at it, trying in vain to remember what the hell I used it for that would cause such a stubborn stain of food. Sighing, I squeezed the soap bottle some more and ran hot water over it. Maybe soaking it would help?

Grabbing a few of the cups I had washed, I spun around from the sink to a towel I had laid out earlier. I scrunched my nose as cold soap suds ran down my arm, hit my elbow and fell to the floor in a sticky mess I didn’t want to deal with right now.

I was so engrossed in the podcast playing over the Alexa that I barely even processed the grueling chore that was longer than normal. I was lost in the words, that an hour longer scrubbing at dishes seemed almost fun. The dishwasher had completely died a couple of weeks ago.

Normally Spencer would speed read the manual to figure out what was wrong with the stupid machine. But unfortunately, his case in Michigan was taking longer than he anticipated. So, he hadn’t been home to look into it, leaving me to hand wash the dishes. I didn’t mind, it was a mindless task and allowed me to catch up on my favorite podcast.

“They found her body a week later, twenty minutes from their house,” I shook my head at that, case freaking solved. Her husband obviously killed her. I mean there’s no way the police didn’t solve this case, come on.

I moved from the towel back to the sink, sticking my hands back into the soapy water. I always believed that I should be a detective. I could solve these cases easily, Spencer claims that suspicion can only take me so far and the reason that they don’t catch the guy is not because they don’t suspect it, but because they don’t have hard evidence. I normally just scoff and give him a kiss knowing that I would get the bad guy in the end, “hard evidence” my ass.

“Two months later the police came in and found Jeff’s disembodied head laying on their kitchen counter.” My jaw dropped and I turned around furiously, bringing a wet butter knife with me, on instinct I pointed the knife at the device.

“Oh shit.” I said to the speaker, as if it were relaying the case itself. Well turns out I was wrong. I cleared my throat and lowered the stupid knife. I placed it down and tried my best to look less scandalized. We all make mistakes. So I might have been a little off in my husband theory, but I mean I had only heard half the case at that point so it doesn’t speak anything of my amazing detective skills. I nodded at that and tossed the knife into a little stack of silverware. The metallic sound echoing around the kitchen. I smirked at my good throw and turned back to the sink.

I quickly got into the true grove of washing the dishes, listening to the more gruesome details of the case. Turns out the killer did quite a number on old Jeff. I was halfway done with the remaining dishes when I felt a tap on my shoulder sending my heart into a frenzy.

I whirled around quickly bringing the closest item with me as a weapon. The plastic spatula slapped the asalint straight in the face creating an awfully loud twack sound that bounced off the kitchen walls. I blinked in horror at realizing who exactly was standing in front of me.

Spencer's cheek turned red immediately.

“Oh my god! Spence! I am so sorry!” I dropped the spatula and brought my other hand to his face trying to soothe his skin. My hand was covered in water and soap suds, and it dripped down his face onto the already wet floor.

“I am so so sorry. You scared me.” I rubbed my thumb over the spot, feeling his heated skin. Jesus, I felt awful. I didn’t hold anything back when I hit him. I figured I was fending for my life, not greeting my boyfriend.

“It’s okay.” His much larger hand cupped mine removing it from his face. The redness had died down a little, making his skin a rosy pink instead of the previous bright red. He looked adorable which only made me feel worse. Who looks that cute after getting slapped in the face with a spatula?

Spencer startled me yet again when a chuckle came bubbling out of him. His laugh was like someone bottled the sound of happiness. It made my own laughter arise every time without a doubt even if I didn’t understand what was funny.

“I guess I don’t have to worry about you protecting yourself.” A loud squeak sound emitted from my body unexpectedly followed by more laughter. I slapped him very lightly across the chest, kissing his unharmed cheek.

“You're lucky I wasn’t cutting vegetables.” I said, rustling my way into his arms pulling his body against my tightly, loving the way his laughter shook my entire body. I felt the short press of his lips against the crown of my head before tucking my head into the nook of his neck. I inhaled deeply, taking the scent of him with me. The apartment had started to lose its scent with him being gone for so long. I was beyond eager for the apartment to smell like us again.

“I think those podcasts are giving you wild ideas.”

“They would never find your body Dr.Reid.” I teased, poking gently at his side making him squirm in my grip. Another round of laughter filled the small space, it was only when it died down that I realized my podcast was still running in the background.

“Alexa, stop,” I shouted into the air stopping the podcast. “The neighbor did it.” I said with coincidence knowing that my answer was correct this time. Spencer let out a belt of laughter, nodding his head, a big grin on his face.

I pulled back from Spencer taking in his features for the first time. He looked tired, his eye bags had doubled creating a skunk in effect. I could see the trouble in his eyes, the case was hard. It killed me to see him after a hard case, he looked more and more defeated after each one. However, it was what he loved doing and my job wasn’t to erase the trauma of his job, but to ease him back into daily life. I thumbed his eye bags lazily, a pout taking over my face.

“You wanna take a shower and I’ll start us some dinner.” I asked gently. Not wanting to completely destroy the quiet we created. He nodded slightly looking younger than ever. I quickly pulled him back into me taking all of his weight. “I love you bub.” His hair felt silky against my fingertips as I disentangled the curls.

“Love you too.” He mumbled, his heated breath warming my skin. I waited a few comfortable minutes rocking our conjoined bodies in the cozy silence of our kitchen, I took a deep breath and said what was on my mind.

“You wanna talk about it?”

I don’t ever ask Spencer for the details of his cases. He either goes into a tangent without prompting or doesn’t feel like talking about it. I used to think that talking to Spencer about his job would be like listening to my murder podcasts. It honestly was one of the things I was excited for, but I soon found out it’s nothing like that.

When Spencer spoke of cases it was personal. He felt every death that was caused and saw every killing through the eyes of monsters. He held so much emotion in his voice when he spoke of the victims, that I often can’t help but cry. How a person can hold that much pain and still continue to do it everyday, is beside me.

He shook his head, squeezing my torso before finally pulling back and placing a soft kiss to my lips.

I continued the dishes, washing the last few. I left the podcast off, listening instead to the shower from down the hall. I scrubbed off the last of the grime before starting the oven. A simple dinner was always best in these situations. I pulled out a pre-made chicken pot pie from the freezer and placed it in the oven.

As I moved to dry and put away the dishes while waiting for pie to finish. Spencer emerged from the bathroom freshly bathed. He wore a thin gray shirt paired with some soft looking sweatpants. My upper lip jutted out automatically. God I love him.

“Feel better?” I kept my voice low, not wanting to startle any peace that the shower might have brought him. He nodded slowly.

“What did you cook?”

“A chicken pot pie, I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s perfect.” He smiled and returned to my arms, kissing my neck once before tucking his head into my neck. The edge of his wet hair scraped against my skin in an uncomfortable way, yet I only moved enough to rub circles into his back.

A loud beep emitted from the oven caused me to jump in Spencer's arms. He let out a small chuckle.

“Pick us something to watch and I’ll plate us some food.” I hummed turning my back to him. I heard him walking towards the living room as I bent to retrieve the hot food.

Spencer sat criss cross on the couch, Les Enfants du Paradis was displayed on the TV. I handed him the steaming bowl and sat down, sitting close enough for our knees to knock together. I have no idea what Les Enfants du Paradis was, but I would watch literally anything he wanted as long as he was here.

“It’s in French, but I figured I could whisper the translations to you while we watch. Or I could pick something else?”

“No! This is perfect Spence. I love it when you translate, you tell the story better.” He let out a little blush highlighting his previous slap mark. I bit my lip and winced slightly, “How’s your face?”

He touched the spot faintly, he didn’t wince when his fingers made contact which was a good sign. However, I have an inkling that a small bruise would form in the center of the slap which was going to be a fun story to tell his colleagues Monday.

“I’ve had worse, but you wield a lot of power with a cheap piece of plastic.”

“I am professionally trained in the art of spatula wielding Spence, don’t try that at home.” I stared at him, my face blank before a blast of laughter came out of both of us. One can only be so serious when you are talking about slapping people in the face with kitchen utensils.

Spencer started up the movie, and we remained there for the rest of the evening. Laughter and dramatic sighs followed by even more dramatic translations from Spencer. At some point he went so off script that even I could tell his story was bullshit. I didn’t call him out though just allowed him to spit nonsense, I would let him create fake French stories until he was blue in the face if that meant we got to stay in this happy bubble forever.

#spencer reid #spencer x reader #doctor reid #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #reid fluff #spencer fluff #cm #cm x reader #criminal minds #dr. spencer reid #spencer #spencer reid fluff #x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer x you #y/n

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court-of-forever-undone · 4 years ago

Text

My Sister’s Love | Taryn POV

Chapter Three

Summary: Taryn pieces together her memories of Cardan and Jude’s early interactions as she reflects on how their relationship came to be and the events of the last year. As happy as she is for them, she can’t help but feel jealous of the moments they share.

Tags: Taryn’s POV of Jude x Cardan, Final Part

Read on AO3

After that dinner, we found Jude awake in her old rooms sitting with Tatterfell and Oak. For a moment, it was easy to pretend nothing had happened. She wore one of the black gowns she favored since becoming seneschal and was eating from a tray in front of her. But as she turned to face us, the wince she failed to hide and the paleness of her skin were reminders that she had nearly died just days ago. Her hair had been braided to mimic a crown, which was another reminder that my sister was not the same twin I had known.

Before we had a chance to talk, Cardan appeared. He likely came straight from his rooms, after finding them empty. Every fiber of my being wanted to grab Jude’s arm when Cardan asked her to join him, but I saw the dusting of pink spread across her cheeks as she saw him in the doorway, so I stood there silently. Jude would have probably ignored any word of caution coming from me anyways. We still had yet to fully come to terms with everything that happened between us.

When it had been hours and Jude had yet to return, I went to the royal chambers to see if she had gone straight there, but instead, I found Garrett.

While Jude had at least recovered some from her near-death experience, Garrett looked like the ghost of the beautiful sandy-haired boy I had met before. It might have been a funny observation given his code name, but all humor was lost in the moment. He had lost weight and his face had sunken in. When our eyes met, I saw the plea in them before he opened his mouth.

The next few hours were a blur. When Jude finally arrived at Hollow Hall, I was surprised to see she had allowed Cardan to come along. Cardan had proved he would follow my sister into the heart of an enemy war camp, despite better judgment, but this time Jude had chosen to invite him along with her.

After I commanded Garrett to stop, cursing myself for not thinking to do it earlier, we moved to a parlor room and I explained how we had come to know each other through Locke’s carelessness.

We discussed the events of what Garrett had done at Locke and Madoc’s command. It turned out that Garrett had been the one to shoot Queen Orglah. Even if he had been commanded to do it, Nicasia and the seafolk would see him as a traitor and demand that he be punished, which meant his life was entirely at the mercy of Jude and Cardan. I couldn’t help but see the resemblance to my own situation.

When Cardan made a comment about me lurking around the palace, I revealed that I had no intention of going anywhere until I knew that Jude would be safe. Our relationship may be strained, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t make up for my actions.

Cardan wore an expression that showed he was tired of this conversation. “Jude and I had a misunderstanding. But we’re not enemies. And I am not your enemy, either, Taryn.”

As a faerie, I knew he couldn’t lie, but that didn’t matter. Maybe he didn’t think of us as enemies, he could still think of us as toys.

“But you think everything’s a game. You and Locke.” His name tasted like ash in my mouth.

“Unlike Locke, I never thought love was a game. You may accuse me of much, but not that.” Cardan shared softly.

The air in the room shifted as Cardan's gaze fell upon Jude, who refused to even look in his direction before quickly changing the subject.

For the first time, it was not just me who was drawing a comparison between our loves. While Cardan’s words came out more as a confession to Jude than a taunt at me, the words still stung. Locke had thought love to be a game. But Cardan, the cruel, spoiled prince did not think love was a game.

How had I believed Locke was my future?

In the carriage back to the palace, Cardan broke the silence by asking about some of the things he had seen on his way to Vivi’s apartment. Most of his questions were about the dishwasher which had been running in the apartment, how mortal mailboxes worked, how secure they were in protecting incoming mail, and what slushies tasted like.

By the end of the ride, I couldn’t help but laugh at his questions which seemed so trivial given the circumstances we all found ourselves in. When we were alone I turned to Jude, who was barely awake on her feet.

“Do you trust him?” I asked. It was the question that had been gnawing at me since our return.

Jude thought for a moment before sighing. “Sometimes,” she responded.

It was enough to make me warn her. Did I think Cardan loved her? Yes. But was Cardan trustworthy? It was hard to forget the years of our childhood together that suggested otherwise and if Jude who had gotten to know him closer than any of the rest of us questioned it, then it was probably best not to.

I had been blinded by my love for Locke that I trusted him to take care of me. I didn’t want the same to happen to Jude, even if seeing them care for each other made my heart ache with envy.

____________________________________________________________

In the days leading up to Madoc’s arrival, all of Elfhame seemed to be on alert; waiting for something to happen. Whispers that bordered on treason could be heard on the grounds and it seemed that everyone had begun placing bets on the outcome of the meeting. It seemed that many of the Folk had questions around the legitimacy of a human queen and the chance the High King’s army stood against a Redcap led army.

Madoc would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. Vivi, Jude, and I all knew that. I did not have to attend strategy meetings to know they were facing a serious threat.

Amidst the preparations for possible battle, the whole castle seemed to note the change in the High King and Queen’s dynamic. For one, their marriage was now common knowledge, but more than that there was a closeness between them that had never been there before.

At first, it was not-so-secret handholding and shared looks at mealtimes. Once at dinner, Cardan made a joke about the dangers of in-laws and Jude rolled her eyes before letting a real smile show.

Then, rumors began to spread that a servant had walked into the royal chambers to replace the bedding and apparently caught the two in a compromising position even though they were supposed to be in a war meeting.

I was doubtful when I first heard, but I even overheard some council members complaining about how they missed when the two bickered all meetings instead of ditching meetings to sneak off together.

The new development had only lasted a matter of days, so I hadn’t figured out if it stemmed from a need for distraction given the impending situation or if the two had formed a more intimate relationship since Jude’s return to health.

The look of devastation on Jude’s face after Cardan transformed suggested that whatever their relationship entailed, Jude had begun to share feelings for him that went beyond hate or tolerance.

When Cardan snapped the blood crown, the air turned stale and the ground hardened. I couldn’t tear my eyes off of Cardan, as his body seemed to melt and twist into the monstrous snake.

The ground shook as the snake moved through the room headed straight for the sword maker. By the time Grimsen was swallowed, I was being pushed deeper into the castle by the flow of the crowd desperate to get to safety. I only got a glimpse of the horror on Jude’s face before she was completely out of sight.

By the time I finally saw her later, I saw the tear stains on her cheeks and the exhaustion behind her eyes. I wondered if she was mourning Cardan or perhaps she was coming to terms with her own future. If Cardan could not be saved, Jude would likely not last long on the throne. The lower courts might seize the chance or the undersea would. That is if our father didn’t dethrone her first.

For the first time in months, I thought I might be able to understand her again. Like me, her husband gave her a level of security that was uncommon for a human in Faerie. While Jude may try to say her motivations for marrying Cardan were different from me marrying Locke, I don’t think they were. They were both motivated by power and protection.

I married Locke for protection in Elfhame. My position as his wife also gave me a degree of power I never had before. Jude married Cardan to become High Queen. She could have become the most powerful knight alive and still not have been afforded the same level of protection she has as Cardan’s queen. While we may have had different expectations for our marriages, both were strategic.

Madoc taught us that it is harder to hold onto power than it is to gain it. It is even harder to hold on when it is just you. Together, she and Cardan had a chance at maintaining the throne, but alone the chances were slim.

I may have lost almost every privilege I had as Locke’s wife, but Jude had a lot more to lose without Cardan; including her life.

In his absence, the happiness that Jude showed disappeared entirely. When she wasn’t in meetings, she could be found in the destroyed throne room and truly seemed to mourn him.

I recognized some of her pain, though her situation was different of course. I knew what it was like to feel the suffocating sense of loneliness. After all, I had gone months without hearing from my sisters or my parents, all while stuck in a relationship that was on tilted ground from the start.

I knew the pain of losing a partner. Locke died by my hand, but it did not stop the mixed emotions that came after. In the instant I decided to act, I lost any promise of a safe future in Elfhame.

We both knew what it was like to be humans in Faerieland; powerless to watch as the monsters closed in from all sides. In a land where the food, wine, a dance, and a simple conversation could be disastrous, only she and I could truly understand the deep fear that every day brought.

When the day came to bridle the snake, my sister looked magnificent, powerful even. She looked every bit the part of High Queen. But behind her cold, fierce look, I noted the inner turmoil that plagued her.

No one had any ideas on how to save the High King. Therefore, her future came down to if she would decide to wield the snake as a weapon or not. With the serpent, Jude would have had a chance to hold her position on the throne. Without Cardan, she would likely lose everything.

If power was the only thing she wanted, it would have been a simple choice. Jude would have found the snake and ruled as the murderous queen that some fae refer to her as, for as long as she could. She hesitated though. After she dressed in Mab’s armor, she paced back and forth while she chewed her bottom lip, as she does when she is nervous or thinking. She didn’t know what she was going to do.

It was that morning that it became obvious that my sister had loved Cardan back. It was more than lust or a political arrangement. They both could claim their marriage had been strategic, and it might have started that way, but there was love between them. A love that kept her from using Cardan as a weapon.

They played their games and hurt one another, but when the other was in danger they shared the same look of desperate determination to save them. The look on Jude’s face was the same as Cardan’s when he came to Vivi’s apartment; desperate, sad, and determined.

____________________________________________________________

When Jude returned with a naked, bloody, Cardan I could not believe it. The impossible had happened.

Within a matter of hours, the palace managed to throw a feast in honor of the High King returning. I dressed quickly and made my way to join in the celebration with my siblings and Heather. Tatterfell told us that Jude would join us shortly.

At the height of the party, I spotted a familiar face trying to keep out of sight near the edge of the room. I left my spot near the musicians table and made my way towards him.

“Hello Garrett,” I said as I stopped next to him, taking in the room from his angle. Vivi, Heather, and Oak were still eating at one of the long tables. The crowd parted suddenly, so it was easy to spot Jude and Cardan as they made their way to the dancefloor.

“Taryn,” he replied with a smile.

Neither of us spoke for a moment as the kitchen servants brought out more desserts with a level of fanfare that matched the king that was being celebrated.

“Are you on king and queen duty this evening?” I asked with a nod to the direction of the dance floor.

Garrett shook his head and laughed, “Technically, I am always responsible for their safety, but I sense that the king and queen don’t wish to be followed.”

I looked back only to notice Cardan leading Jude behind the dais and out of sight.

“Then, perhaps you would like to dance?” The words slipped out before I could reason why it was a silly idea. Before I could regret my words, he offered a soft smile before extending his hand.

I let him sweep me onto the dance floor, trusting him to stop me before my feet wear out. I don’t know if it was the way his face lit up when he laughed, or because he is a member of my sister’s court of spies, or because I could command him at any time (not that I ever intend on using his name), but as we twirled and laughed together, I felt safe.

The feeling was a bit ridiculous. My future was still entirely unknown. I had a baby growing inside me, still needed to stand trial, and had no way to support myself.

Technically, both Garrett and I had committed crimes punishable by death, but at least for the evening, I was happy to share the space with him.

We stayed on the dance floor together until the sun streaked in through the windows.

____________________________________________________________

On the day of the tribunal, I could not help but tremble slightly. Cardan’s promise floated in my head, but I would never fully believe it until I was officially declared innocent. I could not believe that Jude would punish me too harshly. After all, she hated Locke for what he did, so I couldn’t imagine she was upset by my actions. At the same time, she also hated me for what I did, so it was hard to guess her thoughts.

I took my time getting ready until it was finally time to make my way to the throne room. I quietly entered and found my spot in the crowd before glancing up at the dais.

Together they sat. Two enemies who had somehow fallen in love. They had risen together through everything that had happened.

Jude made Cardan into a respectable king and Cardan made Jude queen so no one could overlook her power again.

Cardan invited me forward and in a clear voice, he granted me everything he promised. I was innocent and my child and I would inherit Locke’s titles.

I walked back to my seat and felt the weight of the last few months fall off of my shoulders.

With the ruling, I let myself imagine my future; something I had not done since the night I drove the letter opener plunge into Locke’s neck.

I had made regrettable choices in the past, but I had been given a fresh start.

I had hated the way my sisters had loving relationships, but now it was what I hope to find for myself.

I want a love that is more than security or protection or fun. I want to be with someone who encourages me to be more.

I am not in a rush to find love again. I have my child to raise, my relationships to repair, but if my sister’s love taught me anything, it is that love can happen in the most unlikely of places with the most unlikely of people.

#taryn pov #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jurdan #jude x cardan #cardan x jude #the folk of the air #tfota fanfic #jurdan fanfic #taryn duarte #the queen of nothing #the wicked king #the cruel prince #taryn and jude duarte #the duarte sisters #the cruel prince fanfiction #taryn x ghost

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resident-leevil-old · 4 years ago

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okay well anyways somebody asked me if i felt like talking about my raccoon city survivors au with mia and ethan again and the answer is YES.

> AU MINI FACTS <

- Ethan's mother died while giving birth.

- Ethan Winters and his father moved into Raccoon City when Ethan was a baby, around 3-4 years old.

- Ethan trans ftm because im trans and i said so.

- Mia trans mtf because im trans and i said so.

- Ethan & Mia are childhood friend to lovers in this au.

- Ethan's father worked for Umbrella, and Mia's father worked for the Connections while her mother also worked for Umbrella.

- Mia was born in Texas, but her family moved to Raccoon City after she was born. They still owned property in Texas, though.

- Mia & Carlos are related because I said so.

- so yknow the "dude its been three years" guy? that's their childhood friend and his name is Kyde because i said so.

- Albert Wesker Personally was ordered by Spencer to kill those scientists btw.

- a lot of this au is because i said so tbh

> AU SUMMARY <

Ethan Winters, Mia Oliviera, and Kyde Wells work together to survive six days of the Raccoon City Outbreak. In the process they uncover secrets and encounter many obstacles that just nearly cost them their lives.

> CHAR.BGROUND <

ETHAN W, SR - A scientist who worked for Umbrella. He lost his wife during the birth of his child E///// Winters. Struggling with the death of his wife and the harsh decline of his mental health, he began to experiment with viruses and vaccines in an attempt to bring his wife back, even using his child as a subject at certain points due to the child having strong genes from the mother. He acknowledged that he was a horrid father, but justified his actions by claiming he would bring back a better mother. He thought of Albert Wesker as a friend, and told him the truth of his research.

ETHAN W, JR - A quiet 14 year old that had a hard time making friends. Due to experiments from his father, Ethan is a culmination of infections and viruses that each impact him in different ways. As he grew up Ethan refrained from talking too much as to not interrupt his father's work, causing him to become selectively mute.

MIA OLIVIERA - Younger sister of Carlos Oliviera. Mia skipped a grade due to her intelligence and advanced knowledge on many things kids her age normally didn't. She very easily got sick as a child, though she seemed to outgrow it as she got older. She was schooled both at home and at school before the outbreak. She shared classes with Ethan Winters (Jr) and Kyde Wells.

KYDE WELLS - A friend of Ethan & Mia, known for his cowardice. Kyde has a heavy sense of self preservation, but a weighted sense of compassion as well. He only ever has risked himself for his two friends.

JAMES HARISON - Mia's father. He worked for the Connections as a scientist and a researcher. Harison and his wife often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

MARISA OLIVIERA - Mia's mother. He worked for Umbrella as a researcher. Oliviera and her husband often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

JAKE VERANO - An Umbrella worker who had been trapped in the underground facility for a week, listening to the sound of his coworkers being eaten alive. Unstable because of his experience, he tries to create a cure using the intel of Ethan W (SR).

> FULL AU <

[September, 25, 1998.]

Ethan Winters walked home from school when his father failed to pick him up. He walked through the streets, paying no mind to a big fight breaking out near him. On the way home, he meets up with his friend Kyde who had also been walking home. They talk and walk together for a bit, before splitting up.

When Ethan arrived home, he noticed the front door of his house had been opened slightly. Confused, but wary, he entered the house, knowing it was uncharacteristic for his father to forget the door was open.

He entered the living room, and found his father laying on the ground dead, shot twice in the head, having just been killed moments prior. Ethan moved over to his father, before Albert Wesker walked out of his father's office.

Ethan barely has much time to react to him, overwhelmed by his own panic and the death of the only adult in his life. Wesker - wanting no witnesses - shoots him three times in the chest, and leaves under the impression the child is dead for good.

Ethan Winters dies for the first time that evening.

[September, 27, 1998]

For the past two days, Mia and her parents have been barricaded in their home, unable to leave safely. Mia sat in her room for most of the time, unable to look out of the windows due to boards covering them. During those two days Mia tries to call Ethan and Kyde several times in hopes that they were safe. Neither of them answer.

Until this day, the 27th, at 2:00 am, when she calls Ethan. And he answers.

{TRANSCRIPT OF THEIR CALL:}

Ethan: h-hello?

Mia: [Ethan]! You're alive! Are you okay?

Ethan: I'm breathing. [Pause] I'm breathing. You okay?

Mia: I'm boarded up in my house, we can't leave safely. Everything is a mess. I'm so glad you're alive, [Ethan]. Are you safe? I'm guessing you're safe.

Ethan: Not sure. Not sure. Find you soon, here alone. Alone.

Mia: Alone? What happened? Where's your dad?

Ethan: [Pause.] [Loud sound in the distance.]

Mia: [Ethan]? Are you okay?

Ethan: [Dial tone.]

Mia speaks with her parents about the call, expressing worry about her friend. She spends a while trying to convince her parents that Ethan may be alive (purposefully omitting the dial tone) and need their help. Finally, they agree, and at 12 pm, they head out with all the resources they could gather.

Managing to stay out of sight, the family make it to the Winters' household. They find Ethan hiding in his bedroom, one infected laying in the hallway with a pole through its head and Ethan's father laying in the living room dead.

They rescue Ethan, and flee from the house. Mia's parents explain that they need to evacuate the city, but that they wouldn't be able to drive, so they'd have to move on foot. They returned to their house and rested for the night.

[September, 28, 1998]

The family and Ethan head out again, this time aiming to evacuate the city. After several close encounters with large groups of infected, the kids and Mia's parents are unfortunately separated. Given instructions by her parents, Mia leads Ethan through the city, having to take detours due to infected blocking pathways.

Eventually, during the night, they run into Kyde, who has lost his parents trying to escape the city. The three of them take refuge in an empty abandoned house, and rest for the walk in the morning.

Ethan sits up for a while, thinking about what happened to him, and trying to figure out how to explain it to his friends. Eventually he falls asleep, unable to figure it out. In the morning they head out again.

[September, 29-30, 1998]

During another detour taken due to large groups of infected, Ethan is kidnapped by a man in a white lab coat.

Mia & Kyde go after them, refusing to leave Ethan behind. They manage to find him after roughly half a day had passed.

Ethan had been in a hysterical state and through tears he explains to Mia and Kyde what had happened to him in his house a few days ago, confessing that he had died and revived two days later. He warns the two of them that whatever Jake, the white lab coat man, did to him, it made him dangerous and unstable.

Mia and Kyde refused again to leave him behind, and spend hours gathering information from files and research left scattered around. They manage to make Something that was able to calm him down and cleanse what they had learned had been called the "T-virus" from his body.

As soon as Ethan had woken up again, they fleed the facility, Mia & Kyde both making sure he didn't collapse on the way.

[October, 1, 1998]

They don't stop running when they're out. A broadcast goes out saying that the city will be blown up in four hours due to being unable to contain the outbreak. The three of them realize they won't be able to get out if they take anymore detours unless they find a vehicle with gas in it and a clear road to drive on.

Three hours later, out of options, nearly to the city boarder, and faced with another group of infected blocking the only straight shot out, they decide to risk a run through. However, just as they were pushing through, a helicopter flew overhead and spotted them. Calling to them, the pilot tells them to attempt making it up a building nearby if they could.

Through pure bullshittery and luck, they manage to make it up, and they board the helicopter. Just as it begins to take flight, the city starts to blow up bit by bit. In the distance, they see other helicopters flying.

> AFTER THE AU <

Mia and her parents reunite, her parents having managed to get out before the children did. Kyde goes to live with his relatives in Texas, and Ethan is offered to live with them as well.

Mia's parents move back to their texas home, and everyone who had been in the city were given therapy. Eventually the three grow up and graduate from highschool, and move on to other things, never once separating.

The three of them eventually move into a single house together in California, and some time after that Mia and Ethan get married. And for a while they live happily

And then, Mia witnesses Ethan having some sort of attack in the middle of the night one time, and realizes that he hadn't been completely cured of whatever had been infecting him in the city at all, and that it had only gone dormant for some years. While he wasn't vicious or attacking anyone, Ethan had just been really plagued and didn't even remember the fits that only seemed to happen every other night.

Out of worry and fear, Mia begins to work for the Connections, hoping there was something she could learn from them in order to help her husband finally be cured. And years after, RE7 began.

And THAT, my friends, is my Raccoon City Survivors au with the Winters, also known as Raccoon City Winters.

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papers4me · 4 years ago

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Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 2)

I finally got my answer on how will kyo’s confession of kyoko will be & how tohru will react. I love the writing, the pacing, the monologue, the dialogue, the facial expressions, tohru’s reaction, kyo’s rejection & tohru’s shock. Even yuki & akito’s involvement! All of it was a chef’s kiss!

I went & watched lots of eps of se01 & 2 & I’m loving all the hints they dropped abt kyo & how his trauma was looming over him all. this. damn. time! Unfortunately, it has reminded me of how much tohru’s own character exploration was diminished in favor of her being the angelic mother & the sohma’s fixer! but moving on & focusing on her shining moment now! I’ll explore her character here with regards of her trauma, real hidden character & future development.

Kyo’s rejection is the best thing that has ever happened to tohru:

(don’t hate me before you read!) XD~ just like you, I’m mad at kyo for hurting tohru & I feel her pain. However, the writer didn’t write this with a sadistic desire to hurt us. Kyo’s rejection is the core of the entire story as it is not only connected to kyo’s trauma, but tohru’s growth & yuki’s emotional involvement with the two, as well as akito’s insecurities. I have explained in my review( part 1) how kyo rejecting tohru was a logical progression of kyo’s trauma, the only possible outcome from his perspective, & the themes tied with such decision. Now, I’ll explain why this rejection is good for tohru in the long run:

1. Showing the hidden ugly side: (The timid, shy, self-sacrificing girl is angry!): Tohru’s entire consciously constructed personality is borrowed from elements in her mom & dad’s life:

She mimicked her dad’s overly polite style to prove that she is indeed his daughter, so her mom won’t be called w*ore & to console her mom, so she wont leave her. She has deep low self-worth issues. I gotta become someone else to be loved.

she has inner fear of bringing shame to her mom’s name, wants to always be the good girl so mom’s get praised for raising her. Thus, hiding ugly aspects such as anger, loud voice & frustration.

She wants to prove that her mom chose right by not neglecting her. wishes to be worth needing & loving for her own self.

All she ever wanted since being a 4 year old child is her mom. No other desire for anything else at all. Since her mom’s death, she’s been lost on what to do, who to be, what to want! then it came to her to stick to her mom’s memory & live for her. Living for a dead person is a self-sacrifice decision. Tohru just didn’t see herself outside of her mom’s influence.

Ever since meeting kyo, he has been encouraging real aspects of her character: be selfish, complain, cry, get mad, yell, look pathetic, expose unflattering thoughts, show undesirable side, ask for things, no, DEMAND things. She has been reluctantly following his advice & only showing that to him. His confession & inability to accept her love has lead her to show the real hidden tohru behind the “ i’m okay” mask:

The timid, always smiling girl is now showing anger, frustration, stubbornness & determination.

screaming her heart out: “ i don’t believe my mom would say that” stating her opinion in firm voice.

“even if she did, I have to go against her” the real tohru shows her explosive personality that was buried deep down! it is NOT mom’s life anymore. It is MINE. I decide. I choose. I want. My decisions.

“ why can’t you see that?” argues with him. Tohru, who is soft-spoken & tends to get flustered when others insist, is now questioning his decision with passion & fierceness!

“ I love you no matter what”. Say what toy want. look at yourself as a monster, a murderer, a loser or a coward. I don’t care what your brain or trauma makes you think. I see the real YOU & it is my decision! I love you ugly & pretty, sad & happy, broken or strong, coward or brave. I take it all & no one is fooling me or changing my mind. I’m my own person & I chose YOU.

2. Letting go of attachments: Learning to LIVE:

Tohru’s attachment to her mom isn’t healthy. It’s toxic as it hinders her from being her own person. To be able to love kyo, she lets go of “ listening to mommy’s words” . Apparently, her mom condemned kyo as unforgivable. Tohru knows the real kyo & doesn’t even care for forgiveness despite her mom’s alleged words. Breaking the toxic bond. She formed a healthier bond with kyo. However, if kyo is unable to accept this love. what would tohru do? die?? kill herself?? kyoko wasn't able to continue to love her husband cuz he died. her reaction was neglecting her daughter & roaming away in utter grief. Tohru mustn’t follow her mom’s example. Not all loved ones leave us out of hate. Some leave each other cuz of death (kyoko/tohru), ( kyoko/ katsuya), Others might leave each other out of current traumatic pain, mental health, emotional hindrance despite loving each other so dearly (kyo/tohru). If kyo despite his immense love to tohru, can’t forgive himself, they won’t be together. tohru can cry, scream, yell, but if he doesn't overcome his issues & come back, tohru gotta let go. She gotta learn to let go & not kill herself over what she cant have.

Kyo, on the opposite, gotta learn to hold on to loved ones! Let go of pain but hold on to real ppl not dead ghosts of the past. He must learn to act on his own desire & need for tohru. Only when he forgives himself, he’ll hold on to her. It is then, that tohru will decide again if she’ll have him or not.

3- Wanting things doesn't mean you WILL have them: (You are enough by yourself- moderation)

tohru wants kyo, the first thing she has ever wanted. However, she won’t automatically get him just because she now learned to demand things. There are obstacles that can stop that. Tohru must accept kyo’s inability to be with her now & live healthily regardless. This ties to akito as well. She wants the zodicas but she cant have them! Emotional distance separate them. What will akito do if she can’t have what she wants? kill kurno? kill tohtru? kill herself? will this bring the zodiacs back? NO. You are enough by yourself. She needs to let go & learn to accept that love means acceptance between the involved parties, emotional connection isn't enough.

-Realistic depiction of romantic relationship progression: (thro better & worse). EPIC writing!

It is indeed fate that brought tohru back in kyo’s path 4 months after her mom’s death & the they do share a mutual past: kyoko. However, fervor grateful to the author for writing them falling in love together isn’t due to fate, coincidence, mutual past or similar personalities. Kyo consciously avoided tohru while tohru herself struggled to understand kyo initially. The author spend valuable time building their romantic relation based on mundane daily life activities. They themselves don’t quite know when exactly that they fell in love. when they recalled falling in love, we see them cooking together, talking, walking, eating, studying & opening up abt small struggles.

It is genius that the writer will add yet another realistic aspect. While kyo was able to read tohru & approach her when she’s down, this doesn't mean he magically understood her & will forever be on the same page & never ever hurt each other at all. If you fell in love, you are bound to be hurt by the person who loves you back as much as be happy together. It is realistic!!! Adding miscommunication & personality differences enrich the relationship. This relationship isn’t just fluffy & lovey dovey. They have realistic issues that they need to work on by communicating. Even communication wont solve their quarrel if it isn’t done in the right time & with the right desire to connect.

-The weight & future lessons learned from of “ I’m disappointed in you” for both kyo & tohru:

Right now kyo is too emotional to connect & tohru herself is too emotional to understand his response. Tohru understands his pain but her low self-esteem prevents her from seeing that he is rejecting being loved , not rejecting her. He is not rejecting tohru as a person but rejecting kyo as a person deserving love. Thanks to his “ i’m disappointed in you” which really leaves no room for interpretation from tohru’s perspective. I love that!!!! Kyo isn’t good with words. This has been clear from ep 1, his actions has always been his love language, but now he couples bad words “ i’m disappointed in you” with bad actions: running away. This is a perfect opportunity to build their future relationship on a solid foundation: ( off course I’m not belittling their current emotions, I understand why each is very broken now, but I’m talking abt future learning lessons)

Kyo’s current mistake: While him rejecting tohru is justified by the extreme trauma & is logical from his perspective. This doesn’t mean it isnt’t hurtful to her. He chose hurtful words to push her away mimicking how he pushed her in the true form arc. Perfect example of justified mistake yet still a wrong mistake. Thus, kyo needs to learn the effect of his words, he shouldn’t be punished for the past, for tings her cant control, nor for fate. But he should take responsibilities of the present, of what he actually says & does right now. He must fix this mistake with tohru. This is a mistake that CAN be fixed. someone that he CAN get back. a mistake he CAN stop repeating.He CAN hold on to her with immense desire yet allow room for her to decide for herself.

Tohru’s current mistake: Seeing herself solely thro being loved by kyo. she cant see that he indeed loves her cuz he rejected her. Rejection in tohru’s mind equal lack of love. Her mom left her, thus her mom didnt love her. This respective is very justified due to her trauma, & it is logical that she reached this conclusion. She isnt in his head, she cant know whats in his heart if his words say sth else. However, having a logical perspective doesn't mean it is right. it is still wrong to solely exist thro what you can see & hear. Real emotions run deeper. We must take things with moderate approach. Tohru needs to have higher self-esteem, to allow room for misunderstanding without completely breaking down. In her future life, she’ll be in lots of situations where ppl could hurt her intentionally or unintentionally. She needs to take things with calmer pace & open the door in her mind for doubt & better judgement. As much as loved ones words hurt, to build a healthy relationship, you must leave room for communication & misunderstanding. Hence, you’ll get closer & closer.

Side Notes:

I love tohru’s faulty attachment thro only being loved back exactly as she pictures in her mind. it is so human, so real, & so endearing! Very opposite of se01 & 2 image of her being the wise, device-giving mother with right thing to say & do. Screw that unrealistic image! allow tohru to be real! best ep ever! Hopefully, no more of this tohru!

Kyo’s constant repeat of mistakes is the best character trope done right! so realistic. It is genius that the author used this trope to humanize the demonic cat spirit!! what screams human better than the most annoying human trait: repeating mistakes!!!! Kyo, my son! it’s time to learn! cant wait to see how the author will do that.

young boy/ adult woman friendship? Was that ever made without disgusting sexualizion? kyoko isnt much of a mom figure to kyo, she tells me abt a husband, child neglect mistakes, custody! he calls her old hag & pushes her! XD. it is friendship!!

i’m mad they didnt focus on tohru’s face when she screamed at kyo confessing her love.. that's tohru moment. Why pan on yuki? you could’ve showed his reaction after she spoke. The same thing was done when tohru confessed to Isuzu!-_-! loved her angry face tho, it was beautifully drawn, so thanks for that. XD

Yuki is forever the best tohru/kyo shipper & the best tohru-happiness defender. I love how he runs after kyo & yet checks on tohru! I’m curious tho, he didnt hear any of kyo/kyoko confession as he was asleep, only the the “ forgive/not forgive line” so, he’ll be wondering forgive what? tohru’s mom knows kyo? I’m excited on how they’ll put things into context. also, I LOVE YUKI.

I’m forever thankful that everything akito is pushed into next ep. The knife wielding action & akito’s dramatic outbursts would’ve stolen from the emotional weight of kyo’s confession. Kyo’s secret is the core of furuba since ep, 1, the entire dynamics of kyo/tohru/yuki /kyoko/ hat is established based on this ep. Shoving akito, too, would create the same annoying train bullet feeling of momiji’s & tohru’s ep (ep 5 & 6). Emotional scenes pushed together with lesser time for the respective characters to have their well-deserved focus.

This is the most I am attached & satisfied with furuba! it scares me since ep 9 continues the climax. My fears of potential dramatic animation since the knife is there! moreover, akito’s own animation is always over the top. I hope they tone it down to portray her as a human more than a maniac.

Also, I hope they dont drag the climax more than that. What more you can shove in the dramatic raining weather. Tohru/kyo scene here matched the true arc scene bringing back parallel. Now akito/tohru raining scene next ep will match se02, ep10 scene. Now, what will the author do to defuse the climax? Often writing the falling action is harder than the climax itself. Falling action doesnt mean happy times & solving issues. It means dealing with the consequences of the climax. Let’s see what the writer has in store.

Based on the flashbacks, Kyoko didnt have ill feelings with kyo!!!! Until the last time he saw her as a child, she was happy with him. Even when he pushed her, she took it as a childlike behavior. at the accident, she didnt have much time to have any ill feelings. No way she thought he pushed her, no way she thought he could’ve saved her. So if she really recognized him, why would she say “ I wont forgive you”? it doesnt make sense at all. Kyoko doesn't hate kyo!!!! So, either he imagined, which is sth that I’ll hate so much! I spent so much emotions attached to a non existant words! NO. plz! NO!! Other possibility, she said sth else closer to the words! but then again how would we know? I NEED to know! ~ as expected, I’m still attached to this damn line! XD.

Kyo depressed in the mountains after kyoko’s death was very vaguely referenced in (1) se01, ep24 when kyo talked to kazuma! oh shoot! (2) in se02, sp 2 when kazuma thought back to kyo nearly killing himself in depression before meeting the dad, (3) in se02, ep 9 when kyo trampled on the flower! oof! i love this subtle style of writing! connecting the emotional dots! EPIC!

Various characters throut seasons 1, 2 & 3 noticed the real gentle kyo towards tohru: (1) Isuzu’s “ I hope tohru meets someone like haru, to gently open the door” se02, ep19. (2) Momiji having faith that kyo is the right person for tohru & pushing him, (3) yuki constantly musing over tohru/kyo love & drawing inspiration on wanting “ his own person to love like them” (3) Kisa saying kyo is kind to tohru se3, (4) shigure saying, you are exclusively kind to tohru se02, (5) Airisa saying, when will kyo confess in se01, (6) hana saying, marry my sister in the play & pushing him to not be locked! (7) yuki kicking him for saying “ its not your business” to tohru in kyoto trip, (8) kakeru saying “ kyo’s her boyfriend? “ AA~~~~ the whole cast know & can see his love to her!!! TOHRU! He doesnt hate you! KYO!! the entire cast thinks you DESERVE HER & is KIND! not a monster! Is there an image set of those moments of the cast saying that here in tumblr? kindly mention me to see it! I fear going to the tags & seeing spoilers T_T.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Tohru Honda #kyo sohma #happy paper #final season #part 2

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jyndor · 4 years ago

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Rogue One Meta: Bookends

You know what I love about Rogue One? Well, a lot of things. The anti-fascist message, the characters, the found family trope, the soundtrack, how pretty the whole movie is... there is just too much to like about it. But one thing that really gets me going is how neatly the movie ties in its beginning with its ending.

Let’s do a recap.

So in the beginning, we skip the usual Star Wars crawl and get straight into the action: little Jyn runs to her parents, the family packs up what little they can grab, Lyra calls Saw to alert him to Krennic's approach, Galen asks Jyn to tell him that she understands that whatever he does it is all to protect her. She says she does (she doesn't, of course; she’s EIGHT) and they hug it out. Lyra takes Jyn off to go hide in their little bunker before she changes her mind, she gives Jyn the kyber necklace and then leaves Jyn to try to save Galen, etc etc. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

We all know that when Lyra tells Krennic that he will "never win" and is killed while shooting Krennic, Jyn sees it. We know that Jyn hides in the bunker for a long time, long after her lantern dies out, until Saw is able to rescue her.

We know this just as well as we know how the movie ends: Krennic finds Jyn on the top of the tower, she knows she is about to die so she tells him that she brings her parents' revenge, that he has lost and he snarls at her, monologues like a villain always has to do, aims his blaster and-

Cassian shoots him before he can pull the trigger. Jyn transmits the Death Star plans, Cassian stops her from wasting time on Krennic, they definitely don’t make out on the elevator, and then they go sit on the beach and cuddle while they wait for their deaths. It’s very cute and very sad.

We know that Jyn is Galen and Lyra's weapon, their revenge for the violence that Krennic did to them personally as well as for what the Empire has done to the galaxy. It's personal and political, as most things are. Rogue One makes this very clear - the personal is political (btw the radfem who coined that phrase can get fucked tyvm).

It’s actually always been how Star Wars works. We would care about Alderaan’s destruction, it’s a terrible thing, but we feel so much more connected to it because of Leia. The Empire oppresses every day people, but when we see Owen and Beru’s charred corpses (and Luke’s grief) we feel more about their deaths than if we didn’t just see them sitting down for a meal together with our protagonist. The Clone Wars is so effective because we care about the characters and see the war through their eyes. Politics is personal.

At the beginning, Galen is resigned to being taken by Krennic and working for the Empire against his will. It's why he sends Lyra and Jyn to safety, because he knows that they will be used as hostages to force him to complete the Death Star (and Lyra says as much). But Lyra obviously isn't willing to give her husband up without a fight (and she's also not willing to let the Empire get any closer to building a 9/11 times 100). It’s both political and personal.

Lyra’s heartbreaking act of resistance creates the narrative framework for who Jyn will become in the film but also for Cassian. In fact I would argue that Lyra's fridging sacrifice is just as important to the structure of Cassian's arc as it is to Jyn's. Don't buy it yet? Okay, look:

Lyra hits Krennic in the shoulder but it's just a graze, and she gets shot first so whether or not she's any good is irrelevant. Cassian is a soldier and a sniper. She also doesn't have the element of surprise on her side like Cassian does. She's a civilian, he's an officer who grew up in the rebellion.

But Cassian doesn't hit Krennic in the chest or the head, which he clearly could do. Perhaps it's because he doesn't have the time to fuss with his aim because he makes it up to the top of the tower just in time. Or maybe since he's really hurting, like Lyra, he doesn't have the focus that he'd need to kill the motherfucker.

Cassian hits Krennic in the shoulder just like Lyra (although I assume given how Krennic falls on his face it's not a graze).

Lyra walks so that Cassian can run.

None of them - not Jyn or Cassian, certainly not Galen or Lyra - gets to kill Krennic; none of them matters as much to Krennic as Krennic himself does. He's a textbook narcissist, so of course he is his own downfall in the end. It’s infinitely more satisfying to see him regain consciousness, look up at his creation and watch it aim at his head, and it would be to see Jyn or Cassian kill him. Cassian gets to tell Jyn what Lyra no doubt would have liked to tell Galen - "leave it" - and then walk away arm in arm without sparing Krennic another thought, and Jyn gets to finally outgrow this childhood phantom.

So much has been written about how Cassian Andor does not let Jyn Erso down. It's adorable, hilarious and also heartbreaking to see him in full Jyn Panic mode for most of the film. In the novel he's clearly attracted to her (he is a POV character so we get to read about Cassian's fixation on her need~ and how "neither pity nor pragmatism" explains why he's saves her on Jedha, and how when he looks at Galen, Cassian sees Jyn's eyes lmfao okay we get it she’s pretty). According to Chris Weitz and Gary Whitta (in the ign Rogue One commentary) they were originally more romantic but over time that dynamic got dialed back (and they said they're sure some of that got filmed so show me tHE ELEVATOR TAPES MOUSE).

But I don't think Lyra and Cassian mirroring each other has to mean Cassian loves Jyn in the same way that Lyra loves Galen. Love takes many different forms - even romantic love. What isn't up for debate is that Cassian is the only person in Jyn's whole life who does not leave her behind. No one who cares for her wants to leave her - not Galen, Lyra, or Saw; not the Pontas in the extended content, not even the rest of Rogue One - but Cassian seems to comes back from the dead for her.

Which is exactly what Krennic sarcastically says about Lyra when she comes running up to them.

In this case Galen doesn’t think Lyra is dead but he has no idea what she’s dealing with. He hopes she’s hiding away with Jyn, which is why he tells Krennic that she died, but he’s just giving them time to hide away. For Galen, Lyra might as well be dead because he doesn’t think he’s going to see her again. But when she comes “back from the dead” he feels horror because he knows it won’t end well, that she won’t just go quietly.

Jyn thinks that Cassian has left her just like everyone else. So when he comes back, it’s like a revelation for her. In the novel, Jyn thinks that Cassian looks "as beautiful as anyone" she has "ever known" and after she rushes over to transmit the plans, she smiles up at him "like a child." Hell, the minute she sees Krennic get shot, she thinks that “her nightmare is over.” Which makes me think about how eight year old Jyn never gets the chance to smile up at Lyra like that. In her eyes, Lyra doesn't really protect her from the man in white, and neither does Galen. Saw does but then he abandons her when he worries people will use her as a hostage against the Empire. Galen, Lyra and Saw do try to protect Jyn from the Empire, but the steps that her parents take (all three of them) are to hide her, or to leave her.

In Jyn's eyes, that isn't protection the way going on the offense is. That is also the thesis of her speech to the Council - appeasement and hiding away from evil does not stop evil from harming innocents, these are not ways in which people can resist occupation and oppression long term. It makes sense coming from a former insurgent; to her, nothing but direct action is going to make a difference. And she would know - after Saw leaves her, she does take part in some minor actions (according to the expanded lore) but mainly she’s in hiding, looking out for herself and coping with the trauma of being abandoned by all of her parents.

So the one person who not only gets her mission off the ground, but who also vanquishes this monster who has been haunting her since her childhood is Cassian. He ends what Lyra begins.

But Jyn doesn’t end what Galen started. She continues what he started, just like Bodhi (who basically functions as Galen’s adoptive son you will not convince me otherwise). I started this essay talking about beginnings and endings in the sense of a story’s structure, but Rogue One in the larger context of Star Wars is neither a beginner nor an ending - it is just one generation (that of the prequels) passing on the torch to the next generation (the original trilogy). In politics there are no beginnings or endings, there is just (hopefully) generational progress in struggles.

The whole movie can be summed up in one scene:

But just because it can be summed up that way doesn’t mean it should be. Of course, John Knoll got the idea for the movie based on the scroll in ANH so it makes sense that Rogue One’s characters ultimately are just a footnote for the rest of the galaxy. But for us, the audience, when Luke destroys the Death Star... well, now there is even more weight to that moment. Now we understand what got sacrificed to get those plans, who died and how and why. (That doesn’t mean we need to make a movie about these guys getting butchered by Darth Vader. You don’t need to explain everything.)

Like Leia and Alderaan, this family we meet makes it even more personal. Rogue One is just as much about family as it is about standing up to oppression. It's a Star War, those are like the main tenets of any Star War. Not to quote a meme and make it serious, but maybe the real Star War is the family we found along the way.

#rogue one #meta #jyn erso #galen erso #lyra erso #cassian andor #edits #star wars #this is a perfect movie don't even @ me #flashing lights #flashing gif #like lots of violence in the gifs lmao #was this just an excuse for me to quote the novelization?#no it wasn't but... i mean #no living mothers in star wars #shocking that omera is still alive js

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jobrookekarev · 4 years ago

Text

I Could Have You Back With One Simple Thing

Chapter One of Two: Come Back

Words: 3092

Summary: Jo stared down at the pregnancy test in her hand. Waiting for it to develop. She had taken a lot of pregnancy tests over the years. Most of them have been negative, one of them was positive. And here she was again.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd (Mentioned).

Characters: Jo Wilson, Meredith Grey, and Alex Karev.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences,

Additional Tags: Potential Pregnancy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Tears, Pregnancy Tests, Reminiscing of The Past.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: For Coco ( @cicinicole-14) for causing me pain.

This is more of a thought piece for Jo, but there is some dialog and action later as Jo talks with Meredith and Alex.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo stared down at the pregnancy test in her hand. Waiting for it to develop. She had taken a lot of pregnancy tests over the years. Most of them have been negative, one of them was positive. And here she was again, separated from her husband, the baby's father, taking a pregnancy test alone and wondering if this will ruin her and bring him back.

Last time she prayed that it was negative. She didn't know what she wanted from this one if she wanted it to be positive or negative. If it was positive, it would change everything. For better or for worse. That's what he promised. For better or for worse. Well, worse came, and he left, and although this should be the better part, it feels like the worse.

As she looked back, she felt like the right opportunity to have a baby had passed her by. The years she was with Alex would have been the best time to have a baby. She remembered the night he came home, dropped his pants, and said, “Let's make a baby, right now.” If only she had taken him up on his offer then.

But if she thinks about it, the perfect time to have a baby would have been after she proposed. That night was so perfect, the candles, her dress, his face, everything about him. Sure it would have meant that she would have been pregnant on their wedding day, but of all the things to go wrong that day, that would have been a good memory. They would have been a family.

She didn't know how things would have turned out. At least, maybe Alex would have stayed. Now Jo didn't know what she would do because if she had his child now, it would both break her and heal her. It would mean that Alex would have to come back. She would get him back. Even if only for a little while. Even if it was just her and her baby seeing him on the weekends. Seeing him again would break her because it would make the separation all too real.

Sometimes she pretended that he died. That he was just gone and she never had to see him again. It made things a little easier than wondering if he would show up again one day, like a ghost walking the halls of the hospital.

She knows that she shouldn't, but she wanted this. Never in her entire life had she wanted a pregnancy test to be positive. Even when Jo was with Alex, she was so terrified, so focused on her career, their relationship, everything else but a child. Now he was gone and she thought the possibility of a child had gone with him. Yet here she was, sitting on the bathroom floor, pregnancy test in hand, waiting to figure out if he had left her with a child too.

She wanted it to be positive. She wanted a baby, her and Alex's baby, and she didn't want anything else. She wanted to have a child with him, even if it hurt. Even if it was going to be difficult, and complicated, and heartbreaking. She wanted this child more than anything because at least she would have him back just for a little bit. More importantly, her child would have him. Or her child would have Izzie Stevens as a stepmom. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Alex always said that she was kind and that she baked. That would be nice for a child. Jo could learn to bake too, and to cook. She could be a soccer mom or a PTA mom. Most likely, she would be a mess of a mom, but she would be there for their child more than her mom was there for her.

She could give them the childhood they deserved. She would do anything for their child. She could turn that little corner of the Loft into a nursery like they always talked about doing. Then she would look for a house close to Link and Meredith so that all of their kids could grow up together. She would use up all of her vacation days and make sure her child got to go to the beach, Disneyland, and all the places she never got to go to as a child. The first few years with her residency would be rough, but by the time she finished her OB residency, they would be in preschool, and she would have more time to spent with them. If she had to do it on her own, she would. She would be the best mom in the world. She could take the weekends off, and they could have little adventures around the city, just the two of them, the three of them, maybe.

When she imagined it, Jo could see a little girl that looked like her, but had her father's devious smile and Alex’s gorgeous brown eyes. Or a little boy that would look exactly like him, and oh how she hoped they looked exactly like him. His eyes, his little crooked smile, and the way his little nose crinkle. If she couldn't have him, she would be happy to have a piece of Alex that would be hers forever, as selfish as that seemed. Even if she had to do it on her own, she could do it.

Jo wanted to be pregnant. She wanted to have a baby, no matter what.

She took a deep breath as she looked down at the timer on her phone. The pregnancy test only had a few more seconds left, and she counted them down, pausing the timer before it went off. Jo took another deep breath, closing her eyes, wishing, hoping, and praying before she flipped the test over.

It was negative.

So she tried again, but the next one, and the next one, and all five tests until she ran out of pee. She sat there, criss-cross on the bathroom rug staring at all five tests as all five of them came out negative. Instantly, she wasn’t nauseous anymore, she wasn’t tired or fatigued or anything. She just was. It was just her. All alone.

She grabbed the first one again. The first response one was advertised as being the best on the market. Jo knew that they could still be false negatives, but six out of six? She had done a blood test earlier, but the lab was backed up, and a pregnancy test wasn’t urgent. She wouldn't get the results till tomorrow, so instead, she went out and bought the pregnancy tests. It was what she should have done in the first place. Now, the negative blood test would just be another penny in the bucket of her disappointment.

Jo got up and held the test as she turned the lock on the door pulling it open and peering out into the loft. Jo was surprised to see that Meredith wasn't camped outside the door, instead, the loft was completely quiet. She walked past the little area that used to have Alex's weights but now had a little cabinet and Levi's twin bed. She walked over to her bed, their bed, reaching out for the soft comforter before she heard Meredith’s voice from the kitchen.

“I told you, Alex. I don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!” Alex insisted, his voice a little distorted as it came through the phone speaker.

There's a beat of silence as she froze. Jo had been completely quiet compared to their loud conversation and Meredith had her back to her in the kitchen. She was at the sink doing the dishes that Jo had been too sick to do. The smell of the old food still turned her stomach. She supposed she just had the flu and not morning sickness.

For a moment, Jo just stared at her as Meredith scrubbed the pan. She knew that Meredith was still in contact with Alex, and she asked her to call him when she arrived after she went to take the tests. Jo wanted him to know from the very beginning, but for some reason. She didn't believe that Meredith would still call him, that Alex would pick up, that she would hear his voice on the other end of the line for the first time in months. Even before she got the letter, he felt so far away. Alex felt like he was the thousands of miles away that he was. Hearing his voice now, so close, she could feel him, almost as if his voice was ringing in her ears. His sweet voice was so close, so comforting, as it always was.

“All I know is that Jo called me, and when I showed up at the Loft, she had a box of pregnancy tests, and she said that she didn't want to take them alone,” Meredith said as she paused her scrubbing. “Alex, she was so distraught, the loft is an absolute mess, there's laundry, and dishes, and tissues everywhere. I haven't seen it this bad since, since she fell into her depression.”

Alex sighed, pausing for a second. “I should be there.”

“Yeah, you should be here. You should be the one waiting here with her instead of me, but you can’t do that because you left. I shouldn't even be telling you this,” Meredith said as she started scrubbing the pan again so aggressively that Jo thought she’d scrub the nonstick coating off.

“Then why are you telling me all this? You don't tell me a single thing about Jo, despite how I ask, and then you just call me out of the blue and tell me she might be pregnant.”

“I don't know, because she asked me to and because you called. Look Alex, what am I supposed to say? You ran away from this and you can't just run back. ”

“I can try, I can come back, I can be in Seattle in less than 5 hours.”

“No, I don't, because I think if Jo really is pregnant, then I don't know what she's going to do, especially if you show up. I think, I think she might actually run. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. I did the same thing when I found out I was pregnant with Ellis. You and I both know her. Despite everything, Jo’s first instinct is to run and without you to keep her here...”

“Well, you have to stop her. You just have to keep her there until I can get there.”

“I'm not going to stop her or make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Jo is her own person, and she makes her own decisions. If she wants to run away from us and take her child with her, then she has every right to.”

“It’s my child too,” Alex's voice was filled with hurt as he pleaded with Meredith. “I have every right to be there, to know them.”

“It stopped being your child and just became Jo's child the moment that you left. Alex, you left her alone and pregnant. What do you expect her to do!?” Meredith yelled, still taking out her anger on the pan.

“I don't expect her to keep my child from me!” Alex yelled before he took a deep breath, his voice calmer when he spoke again. “Look, I know that her having you call me now is a sign that she wants me to be a part of this child's life. I'm grateful for that, I am. I want to do right by her and our baby. I don't want to hurt her anymore, but this is my child too, and I have the right to know them. I get that she's angry...”

“Of course she's angry!” Meredith said, cutting him off. “You left her. I'm angry too, but it's your little swimmers that got you into this situation. Look, I know you're worried, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's just wait and see what the results are before you hop on a plane and disrupt her life even further. Because I guarantee that if it's negative, she’s still going to want nothing to do with you if you show up.”

“I'm just worried, Mer. I left her to be with my kids so that I could be a full-time dad to them. I don't want to be flying back and forth from Seattle to Kansas. I don't want to be a part-time dad to all of my kids. I'm just, I'm worried. I don't know how I'm going to do this.”

As the conversation went on, Jo just stood there leaning against the post in the kitchen, holding the negative pregnancy test. Meredith finally finished the dishes and turned around, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She caught sight of Jo standing there. Meredith paused, the phone in her hand. Jo just put the pregnancy test on the table where Meredith could see it.

“It’s negative. You can tell Alex he doesn't have anything to worry about.”

“Jo,” Alex's voice stopped her in her tracks as he reached out to her across the phone.

It took everything inside of her not to fall apart and not to take the phone from Meredith. Not to scream and cry and tell him how much she still loves him and hates him and wants him back. But he was gone and now nothing could bring him back. Not now.

With that, she turned around and walked away. She heard Meredith quickly hang and then everything was quiet. All of Jo's strength seemed to have disappeared as she walked over to the couch, their couch, and grabbed his throw blanket. Alex had complained about it when Jo first bought it, saying it was too girly, but eventually, he grew to love it because it was warm and soft. Sometimes he would even curl up in bed with it when she wasn't home, and he was lonely. Now, she curled up with it, instead of with him.

There were a number of things that she kept for herself, being selfish with his things before she packed away the rest and sent it all off to Kansas. She kept his old Iowa Hawkeyes t-shirts, he could always order another one, but this one was hers even before he left. His pillow, he had a new bed to sleep in and probably a new pillow too, lord knows he was away long enough to need one. His watch, he had forgotten it because it was left on his nightstand. He asked Meredith to get it for him, but Jo said she couldn't find it. And then there was his brown scrub cap, it was in his locker, and she found it when she was cleaning it out. Jo didn't wear it like Meredith wore Derek’s ferry boat scrub cap, but sometimes Jo just held it against her nose and breathed in the smell of his cologne and his shampoo. It was a little stinky from the sweat of his brow, but it was a part of the image of Alex she fell in love with, so she kept it. However, all those were just things. The smell of him would fade from his pillow, the blanket would become less soft the more she used it, the fabric of his scrub cap would rip and tear until it became just scraps, and the watch would stop working.

But a child, their child would have been a piece of him to keep forever. Living, breathing, growing, and changing into someone new, a person who would be more than either of them could have ever been. Now all of that was gone with the negative pregnancy test. Every last piece of him was gone.

“I have nothing left of him,” Jo said as she stared out the window at the crappy view of the other buildings.

“That's not true,” Meredith said as she came to sit down next to her, but Jo didn't look at her. She just kept staring out the window, even as Meredith wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. “You have a lot of things left from Alex, just like I have things from Derek.”

“Yeah, including three kids that are just like him,” Jo said, trying not to let the bitterness and her voice come out like venom.

“Yes, but I also have a lifetime’s worth of memories and a heart full of love, and I know that you have the same. No matter what happens going forward, you get to keep all the love that he gave you and the best parts of Alex, and you get to keep me.”

Jo pulled back to look at Meredith. “I thought that you would. I don't know, I thought that now that Alex was gone, we wouldn't be friends anymore.”

“Yeah, well, you thought wrong because in the divorce, you got me, and I promise you, Jo, I'm not going anywhere,” Meredith said, gripping your shoulders and staring into her eyes, knowing that Jo would have a hard time believing it.

But she did believe her. Jo knew Meredith well enough to know that she wasn't going anywhere. There wasn't anything in the world that would take her away from Seattle, at least not for very long. When so many others had left, Meredith had always been there.

Jo nodded as she looked down at her lap and placed a hand over her empty womb. “I wanted to be pregnant.”

“I know,” Meredith said, in a soft voice with a little nod.

“I didn't care if it was complicated. I would have done it with or without him and I would have been a good mom,” Jo said, the tears collecting in her eyes as she tried to keep her voice from breaking.

“I know and you would have been the best mom in the world,” Meredith said, reaching out to put her hand on Jo's cheek and wipe away the tears that had already started falling.

“I just wanted to be pregnant,” Jo said, shaking her head.

“I know.”

Jo finally gave in to the tears as they turned into sobs. Her wails filled the loft as she cried into Meredith’s arms as she just hugged her close. Meredith provided the comfort that Alex once did, as Jo grieved for the child that never was and never would be.

#jo wilson #alex karev #meredith grey #jolex #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy fanfic #otp: home and heart #my work #my writing #my fanfiction

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goatbi · 4 years ago

Text

The Return

In one universe, the arrow fired by Uryu Ishida didn't do too much. It helped, yes, but it was not the end of Yhwach, the tyrant did not die, not yet, not then, and he made the promise to return to ruin their happiest moment.

This is not the universe. Which is good for many reasons.

The arrow struck true, as Uryu Ishida was not know to miss, and Yhwach was struck with the power that he had used against many unworthy, unclean, hybrid Quincy in the past, turning against him. It burned, like the flames of the now dead Captain Commander, and Yhwach died screaming, begging for a mercy that would not come.

After all, he had never given anyone else mercy.

This was not the end, however. Uryu wavered on his feet, exhaustion piling into his body, but it was not over yet, it was not, it couldn't be, because-

And there they went.

In reverse, their spirits returned. Bodies far too long dead to be worth it, but the spirits of those Yhwach consumed returned, from the entire thousand years that Yhwach had stayed hidden away. The Sternritter he had killed came first, and then came the ones Uryu was waiting for, the ones he was expected, but he knew there was one person-perhaps two, but not three-who deserved this warning, and thus, he ran, uncoordinated and clumsy, so unlike himself, and collided with Ichigo's side.

Ichigo blinked, steadying him on impulse, and Uryu looked up at him with eyes already full of tears, excitement burning in his bones.

"She's gonna come back. Your mother. I know this, trust me on this, Ichigo, she's not gonna be alive, but she's gonna be here and you're gonna be able to see her again."

Ichigo would have frowned, scowled and barked at him that this wasn't a funny joke, Uryu, but Uryu never called him by his first name, and Ichigo had never seen him cry before, and there were spirits of people he didn't know appearing in the ashes of Yhwach's body, and maybe Uryu would be wrong, but Uryu looked so convinced now that Ichigo paused, and looked at him, really looked at him closely, the heaving breath, the slight, almost unknown grin, the teary eyes, and Ichigo had to believe that Uryu truly believed what he was saying right now.

"How do you know that?" Ichigo asked, unwilling to believe it that easily, and Uryu grinned.

"The silver of that arrowhead, it reverses the Auswählen, and that is why your mother died in the first place. That hollow got a little bit of her soul, but not all of it. I know this, Kurosaki, because my mother fell into a coma the same day yours died, from the Auswählen. She's here. You deserved the warning." Uryu was shaking, and Ichigo held him up, and felt, for a moment, that he could trust Uryu, despite everything, because he was turning away, eyes darting through the throngs of Quincies that were coming back to themselves, stepping back into the light after living inside a monster for so long.

"There!" Uryu stood, pointing into the throngs, and it drew attention, not only from Ichigo, but from their fathers, their friends, the people that had come towards them when Uryu ran to Ichigo, and they turned as one, looking to where Uryu was pointing with such conviction and-

She wasn't fully formed yet, but it was her, with no doubt. Masaki Kurosaki, her eyes opening as her spirit reformed around her, and she turned, hearing a voice that sounded so familiar but not, and spotted her son, and the son of one of her friends, and she smiled all at once, that normal bright smile that Ichigo had remembered, and he felt something in him crumble to pieces.

Uryu was laughing, a bright joyous thing that Ichigo had never heard from him before, letting go of Ichigo's arms to wrap them around himself, so that Ichigo's zanpakuto's could drop, not all the way to the floor, but now held limply in his hands as he faced the mother he thought he would never get to see again, and she moved to him, smiling all the while.

"It worked..." Uryu was mumbling to himself, rocking on his feet with a grin on his face that Ichigo suddenly understood. They were both mama's boys, he knew that long before now, but if his mother was back, than surely Uryu's would follow soon enough. Masaki stopped in front of Ichigo, cupping his face gently in his hands and wiping tears he hadn't realized were there.

"Oh, you've grown so much." She smiled, holding his face in her hands. He was taller than her now, but as he leaned forwards, zanpakuto's dropping to the floor and wrapping his arms around her as if she would disappear if he didn't, he felt like a nine year old boy again, small and terrified in her hold, while she made it all better just by being there for him.

Uryu's eyes were still scanning the throngs of people, and he felt panic begin to seize his heart. What if using the silver from his mother prevented her from returning? Ichigo's mother was already back, and they were struck nearly at the same time, so it would make sense that she be back by now, Yhwach couldn't have possible had that much Quincy fodder to snatch up, it didn't make sense, and he tensed, coiling tighter and tighter like a spring ready to snap-

"She'll come back, Uryu." Masaki was looking at him now, her arms wrapping tight around Ichigo, one hand in his hair as he lay his head on her shoulder and shook in silence. Uryu stared at her, remember small, faint memories of her when he was very young, young enough that he maybe shouldn't be able to remember it, but she knew him, and that was enough for a small bit of comfort.

"You're certain?" He sounded so small, and he hated it, knowing Ryuken was behind him, watching this unfold, watching his son collapse-Speaking of, Isshin was behind them too, so why hadn't; Nevermind, family hug, there it goes-and Uryu couldn't help but feel ashamed, as he always did showing a single emotion around the man who could never be a father.

"I know more stories than you were ever told even existed, my dear boy." Masaki smiled at him so kindly, from under Isshin's arm. "I am certain. Katagiri will show."

And Uryu took that at face value, trusted in the woman that Ichigo trusted with his life, and turned back out to the throngs of people, arms wrapped tight around himself as they began to mile about, reunite with each other, and the Shinigami suffered under the realization that if they had truly killed Yhwach, they would have killed hundreds, if not a few thousand, people that he had consumed over his lifetime as well.

He stared, and he stared, and he felt each passing moment weight like a century on him, as he waited, for any moment, any sign, and the group Kurosaki hug had broken by then, they were talking to each other, quiet voices, and Masaki was looking at him, and Uryu hated it because he felt like he was being pitied and-

There!

He took off like a bullet, dodging between people reuniting, hearing Ichigo call after him-his given name, but Uryu couldn't find it in him to give a shit. Ichigo had earned that right by now-and ran, as fast as he could manage, and he collided with her, almost knowing Katagiri to the floor, but she just laughed as soon as she realized who that bullet of a person was, wrapping her arms tight around him, and hugged him tight, like she was hugging the little broken pieces of him back together, fixing it all up in the way mothers where known to do.

Uryu didn't even register sinking to the floor with her, didn't register the choked sobs catching in his dry throat, didn't register the stinging burn of wounds he had forgotten about retorn by his running, all he knew was his mother, and Katagiri hummed, wrapping him tight and letting him cling.

Soon, they would have to get up, and Uryu would have to face the consequences of betraying his friends-though he didn't know at the time that they really didn't care, they just wanted him safe, and he had a good reason after all.

Soon, Uryu would have to stare down Ryuken for his own actions-but Katagiri hovered at his shoulder, eyes deadly and angry, and perhaps the stories of what a spirit was aware of after the Auswählen would have been handy for them in this moment, since she knew everything that had gone on in their absence, and Katagiri was not happy with her husband

Soon, they would have to start rebuilding, fixing the world and finding places to settle all of the new souls, and the Soul King's absence-but that was going to be okay too, since the new Captain Commander was so kind to them, understanding, helpful, were the old had been too set in his face to accept this new reality.

Those would all come in the future. For now, Uryu let his walls shatter, and clung to his mother again after everything, and sobbed.

He deserved it after all.

#bleach #uryu ishida #canon divergence #feelings in various ways #dont ask me what this was i've just had it in my head for ages now

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babylooneytoonz · 4 years ago

Text

Warnings: ANGST // REVELATIONS // TEARS // Sort of cried while reading Bucky parts // Bucky doesn't deserve this :((

Please find links to all the parts in my Masterlist here.💗

You were looking at Bucky so intensely, trying to listen to his words, let them sink in, that you didn't notice a man walking towards you. Neither did Bucky. You were so engrossed, for you had never heard this man talk of those times, infact, he had never said anything remotely closer to you than curses and grunts. This felt refreshing.

"Well, look who's here."

A voice snapped you back into reality, a frown creasing over your forehead.

"Wallis?"

For some reason, you were thankful when Bucky stepped towards you, the side of your arm now brushing against the fabric of his tshirt. He was quiet, but you knew he was watching.

"Since when do you date? From what I had heard, you hadn't landed yourself a man since we broke up."

"Life is more than just having a man, Wallis." You drawled on a smile, not failing to notice a flash of a frown grow over his forehead that he was quick to mask.

"Well aren't you going to introduce me to your man?"

That's when you turned towards Bucky, a faint blush paving its way to your cheeks. You didn't know why, but a current; a sudden surge of electricity flew through you when he called him your man.

"Who the hell are you?" Bucky finally spoke.

"My lousy ass of an ex husband who couldn't keep his cock in his pants," you retorted.

"You still let that affect you, don't you?" He smirked, causing you to stiffen slightly.

Bucky felt you tense up next to him but the warmth that you felt radiating from him was suddenly stripped away from you. But it was only when you saw Bucky wall up to him, towering over him with a glare equivalent to death in his eyes.

"You do know who I am right? I would walk away I were you. And leave her the hell alone, I'd fear my life that can be taken away with just whisk of my arm," you kept watching, as Bucky flexed the fingers on his metallic arm slightly, the arm glistening underneath the pale moonlight. You finally found your footing, and your numbness subsided, and ignoring the buzzing in the back of your head and the throbbing headache in your temple, you found yourself walking up to the men, only to place your arm on Bucky's arm, slowly drawing his arm down so you could take his hand, coiling your fingers against the cool metal.

You didn't know why it happened, and you didn't understand the logistics, but you suddenly felt safe, and you felt warm, although the icy metal was like ice against your skin. It even felt better when Bucky looked down, his eyes trailing over the way you were holding his hand, and he just tightened the grip, not wanting to let your hand drop.

"Let's go Bucky, he isn't worth it."

He nodded, and giving him one glare he turned around, still holding your hand, as the two of you walked away.

"You know, you always play the victim card, using how I cheated on you, but do you ever tell the others what you did? And what I lost? Because of you?"

The venom in his words was enough for you to stop walking, your heart beating wildly inside your chest. It had been a long time you had let yourself think of this, but now, the old wounds had been scratched, and the raw, seething pain was back.

"Why don't you tell the world what you did? And what you didn't do? You keep sitting on this high pedestal, and pretend that it's only you that has been treated like this, but news flash, you're just as guilty as I am."

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down your face, your chin trembling like that of a two year old. You had zoned yourself out completely now, Wallis' words playing in the back of your mind repeatedly, like bullets being emptied into your heart.

"Bucky," you managed to whisper, your voice low and broken, "take me home."

You were so lost in your thoughts; you paid no heed to the sick, cracking sound that echoed for a split second when Bucky's metal fist collided with Wallis' jaw, or the groan of pain that escaped his lips as he crashed against the cold concrete floor, holding his bleeding jaw. You could only hear the static in your head, when Bucky draped his arm protectively around your shoulder, and pulled you to him, his voice trying to call you back, but you were too gone, too deep into the water to swim back out, you were drowning in your own head.

"Let's get you back now, yeah? Doll, you're okay."

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You were obnoxiously quiet all the way back to the Stark Towers. Bucky still hadn't let go off your hand, and he hadn't tried to make small talk with you, something you really appreciated right now. You couldn't talk, you didn't have the energy to, and neither the will.

The minute the elevators flung open, the two of you came face to face with Sam, Wanda, and Steve, who was leaning against the wall, his eyes giving the two of you the looks; the tiniest of smirks playing against his lips. Bucky watched, as Sam's lips parted, and he was about to say something, but at the right time Bucky brought up his palm, and motioned towards him to let it be, and all the smirks on their faces just died, worry filling them up instead.

Bucky quietly turned towards your apartment, walking you down the hallway, still holding your hand as you quietly followed him, your eyes lowered to the floor, while the three behind you followed the two of you, confused, but concerned about your well-being.

"I'll be right out, punk." Bucky said in a low voice to his bestfriend, who understood, that perhaps you needed your space right now, so he nodded and stopped following you, watching Bucky and you disappear into your apartment.

You sat down against the edge of the bed, slowly lifting up your eyes until you had your eyes trained on the super soldier. Your heart ached at the sight; he was standing by your walk in closet, confused, looking for something that you could probably wear for the night, something more comfortable.

"Hey, where do you, uh, keep your –"

Finally, after what felt like ages, you gave him a weak smile, and he gave you one back. You stood up, slowly walking up to him and placing your palm gently on his flesh arm.

"I've got it Buck, thank you, for everything you've done. You can go talk to Steve while I get changed. Yeah?"

You didn't mean to do it, and you had tried so hard for him to not feel like you were kicking him out, sending him away, but it did look like a bit of hurt flashed in his eyes, before he quickly masked it, and nodded, giving you a smile just for the show.

"Well then, I'll be back in my apartment, you can just call me on my cell if you, well, we do have Friday." He said, in a low monotone.

The two of you stayed like that for a few seconds, your heart melting just by gazing into his blues, when he slowly took a step away, ready to leave. You didn't let go of his hand, causing him to stop walking and turn slightly, gazing at how you were still holding his hand like a little lost child.

"I don't want to be alone, I was wondering if, well–"

A soft smile broke out against the corner of his lips, and a faint nod on his face.

"I'll be back, I just need to let them know you're okay. They are worried about you."

"I know." You nodded, both of you walking in different directions; one out of your apartment door, and the other into the closet.

You pulled out a plain white knee length frock, unbuttoning your jeans and rolling it down, until you stepped out of it. You then took off the shirt, hanging it neatly on one of the racks, so you could be reminded of taking the clothes out for laundry. Sliding your neck through it, you pulled the frock over your body, rolling it over until it fell to your knees.

Your eyes were feeling heavy, but you didn't wish to go to sleep. Instead, you laid down, pulling the covers partially over you and started staring at the ceiling. A sudden, hollow feeling hit you and you couldn't stop thinking about the things Wallis had spoken.

You had made mistakes, but there was not a single night you didn't wish to undo the things you had done, and hope that the things had gone differently.

Your chain of thoughts were broken when you heard Bucky walk in. He looked strained, but his shoulders relaxed the minute he saw you laying in bed. You turned your neck towards him, giving him a slow smile as you watched him walk towards the other side of the bed, lowering himself against the edge.

He got into bed with you, the weight of the other side of the bed now heavy. This made you realize, this was the first time you had let a man into your bed, and also perhaps, into your heart, after whatever happened two years back. Reflexively, you rolled over, until you found yourself in Bucky's embrace, your face buried into his chest, fitting like a perfect piece of a puzzle under the crook of his neck.

He smelled perfect.

His flesh hand came to rest at the back of your head, stroking over your scalp in a soft and soothing movement of fingers.

Finally, he took a deep breath and mumbled, his voice low and soft.

"I've seen many horrors, doll. And I thought I could never get back to who I used to be."

You blinked, looking up at him.

"But I realized one thing, although it didn't make the pain go away, talking about things made it easier to bear."

You almost sniffled a sob upon hearing his words, but Bucky heard you and he looked down at you, gazing into your eyes, until he leaned in and planted a soft, chaste kiss to your nose.

"They did monstrous things to me Y/N. Things I cannot even tell you, but I still am here, am I not ? "

You sighed into his embrace, resting your forehead against his sturdy chest, wanting to cry, to let it all out, but that would make you weak. And you didn't want to let this man see how weak you truly felt, how small as compared to the rest of the world.

"I wish it were that easy, letting go. You really can't let go Buck when your actions are responsible for someone innocent losing their life."

He almost raised an eyebrow but he didn't ask you what you meant. You only bit your lip, licking over your dry lower lip as you started thinking back again of how you could have done things differently.

"Well were once happy Buck, me and Wallis. We were in love, we were newly married. And then one day, he came along."

"Who did, doll?"

His ask was so raw, so innocent, you couldn't stop talking. So you did, pouring your heart out to a man who you had known for mere weeks.

"Danny, our son."

You felt Bucky stiffen slightly, but he didn't let go off you, he still held you to his chest, mumbling a small, but audible hum, to let you know that he was listening.

"He was the most perfect thing that ever was. He had my eyes, and he didn't cry. What baby never cries Bucky?" You chuckled, through your tears, that were now freely flowing down your eyes.

The truth was, Bucky couldn't understand all this; these emotions were new to him. He never had his own family, and he didn't understand what it was like having a son. Maybe though, he did think that it wouldn't have been bad, to have his own family, something that he had thought of back in the 1940s, but now, he couldn't anymore for he was not the same man he used to be.

"Well he never cried. He was one hell of a happy kid I tell you. Anyway, he was growing up so fast, and life was good. My boy was two already, and before I knew he was always running around our house, breaking things, knocking my fucking vases off the cabinets," the two of you were grinning at each other just thinking of a toddler running around the house, breaking things.

Until you sombred up, and the smile washed off your face.

"It was three nights after his third birthday, and Danny was with me, at home. Wallis was out, as usual, so I decided we would go take a walk, I really needed to clear my head."

You didn't realize that your lips were quivering now. Your eyes were already swollen, half lidded and glossy, and you were trembling like a leaf, even in the warmth that Bucky provided you, coated you in.

"It was a moonless night, and Danny wanted to have his favourite ice cream when they came out of nowhere."

"Who?" Bucky's voice got heavy suddenly, his eyes darkening two shades, his eyebrows forming a thin line.

"HYDRA."

You felt Bucky loosen his grip on you, the minute you said that word. You didn't blame him. After all, they were responsible for the mess you all were in today.

"I don't know what they wanted, but I was alone, and they were five. I failed, I failed to protect him. I could only watch–"

Bucky's finger flew up to your lips, his index pressing against your plump ones, forbidding you from speaking any further. His soft eyes looked down at you, and you could see that his eyes were moist.

"It wasn't your fault, baby."

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath; if only you could believe him.

"It wouldn't have happened, if I hadn't taken him out that night, if I would have been able to protect him–"

"You didn't know what they planned, and they were five."

You didn't reply, instead, you scooted closer into Bucky's embrace and he tightened his grip around you, pulling the covers over the two of you, his lips pressed to your forehead. You could feel his heart, because your face was pressed to his chest. His heartbeat was soothing and you found yourself relaxing to his touch, his warmth and the way he held you and your eyelids started feeling heavy.

"My son died with a fucking bullet to his skull." You suddenly pushed yourself away from Bucky and propped yourself up in bed, wrapping your arms around your frail body, pinching your eyes shut, ignoring the warm, thick tears rolling down your cheeks.

Bucky remembered talking to Steve, and how you had gone off the radar for two years and SHEILD hadn't assigned you any mission. Now he knew, that you had probably locked yourself up after what you had witnessed, and it wasn't your fault. He wanted to console you, to comfort you and he wanted to take this pain away, but he didn't know how to.

He was scared now; scared that you would shut him off, only when you were starting to open up to him.

"Y/N, it wasn't your fault."

He didn't know that his words will anger you even more, instead of calming you down. You slid out of bed, much to Bucky's surprise, and turned to face him.

"It wasn't my fault? Don't you see what I've done? Or what I could've done?"

You were screaming at him.

"You couldn't have done anything! Why don't you understand?" He slid out of bed too, almost yelling back at you in the same voice that you had used on him.

"Why the fuck would you still let that jerk get into your mind like that? Fuck your mind? He wanted this to happen, and you're letting him win," he spat, his hands on his hips.

The two of you were on the either side of the bed, giving each other a stare down.

"Bucky, you won't understand," you finally whispered, looking down at your hands, " you never had anyone to lose."

You didn't mean that. You really didn't. But now you wished you could swallow back the words you had just said. Just the look of hurt on the man's face was enough to make you feel guilty. He didn't deserve this. He didn't.

"Bucky, that's not what I meant, come here please?"

"Well, fuck, you weren't wrong. I am not used to this, having people, having connections, feelings and emotions. You're absolutely fucking right."

"Babe, I didnt–"

"But you know what? I'm okay this way. I have no fucking one to care about, or be cared for from, and I am okay with it. Because it's fucking simpler that way. Atleast it saves me the mess of being what you are today. You can't even forgive yourself for something you haven't even done."

He slid his feet into his slippers and turned away, facing the door. His hands were clenched against his sides, so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He finally started walking towards the door, when you called out.

"Where are you going?"

Your voice broke.

"To my own damn apartment, so I can be alone, like I always was."

The door slammed shut, and he was gone.

(So, thoughts anyone? 🥺)

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