#and the way that their relationship develops over the course of the musical is great

[lost-inanotherlife]

No but THANK YOU! You've managed to articulate so WELL what I've been trying to say, I'm just so happy because I couldn't find the words and I was blaming myself because my message wasn't coming across but YOU have put it into words so well I need to comment on them a little!

"struggle to maintain the emotional balance with the timelines"

YES. This is KEY! What I've been trying to say is exactly this. There's no emotional balance with the timelines. You can feel the episodic nature of the show (i.e. written week by week more or less) therefore you can also feel that the events that happened in S4 were written like one year or more before the writing of the events of S5. I'm not talking about the plot, I'm talking about emotions. it's so weird that the writers didn't factor them in because I think of them as very competent writers, I don't care what the haters have to say. So, to me, the lack of emotional balance shows a precise decision to amp up a (dead) love triangle for.... views? After all, LOST is writing for profit and love triangles, sadly, always sell. And that's frustrating to me.

"It's incredibly disrespectful to the characters as individuals (and frankly bad writing) that they continue to push this relationship struggle when these are grown adults and three years have passed".

As I said, I don't necessarily think it's bad writing but, in a way, it is because it's commercial writing. However, LOST showrunners' struggle against ABC is kinda famous so I don't feel like it's right to exclusively blame them for it. Network requests are a big factor and in this case I'm more inclined to hold ABC accountable. Having said that, LOST is a white male show writtern by (mostly) white male writers so I gotta take this into account as well bc, honestly? Even in LOST the old love for the male hero's journey is... showing a little bit. At the expense of female and poc characters, of course

"It was clear to me that Kate was always going to choose Jack and a lot of her later interactions with Sawyer were directly because of Jack anyway.)"

I'm literally alwasy saying this. Jack is the love triangle apex and the center of the whole story. One kinda has to get Jack in order to really get LOST.

"There was so much potential to develop Kate's character that they bypassed for the tired love triangle as well."

This is why LOST drives me insane. Female characters in a lot of TV series are, fankly, badly written. Fandom adopting that character and making it complex (aka less written through misogynistic lens) is a great resistance technique that should definitely happen more often BUT that doesn't change the fact that, to me, that character wasn't well written to begin with. But in LOST? Like, let's take Kate as an example: she was absolutely well written from day 1! Like, they had all the material because they had created it!!!! Why, WHYYYYYYYY, would a writer waste ALL THAT for a stupid love triangle? It has to be because cis-het love supposedly sell or it wouldn't make sense. You have a character like KATE AUSTEN and you pigeonhole her as love interest. CRAZY CHOICE but okay, misogyny exists. Not only that, because Jack and Kate are so deranged together I could almost let it pass (although I have my reservation about that as well) but you further pigeonhole her to fit into a stupid love triangle with another man? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, GET OUT. These are the things LOST fans should be mad about, not the fucking ending.

"Sawyer didn't factor into Kate's decision to return to the island at all. She was there to look for Claire."

Music to my ears. Let's leave this here for the people in the back.

I also want to add @eponine119 interesting addition:

the real reason Jack got so unboxed in s4 over Sawyer was because the writers were trying to trick the audience into thinking he was part of the Oceanic Six but then it turns out to be Aaron. It's a gag that only works one time, like the Jin/Sun episode that is similar. I get that Lost was never intended to be more than a one-trick pony so they sacrificed story/character to serve the ever-present trademark Lost "twist ending" but it's disappointing. Beyond that, yeah. Makes no sense for any of them to be thinking about or jealous of a kinda relationship that lasted two and a half minutes three years ago when they have grown and moved on and changed. It was a significant relationship in Sawyer's development as a person, and he was always way more into Kate than she was into him, so maybe that gets a tiny bit more weight for him.

I didn't know about that. I have to say that THAT is a trick that surely didn't work out because I wasn't even thinking about that possibility when I first watched the show. Like, it was clear as day that Sawyer was not back to "normal", "non-island" life. And as I've said above, these are the kind of "tricks" that fan should be mad about, not the mystery-related ones. Like, to me, these things are pretty unforgivable because plot can be complex and not anchored to reality but human behaviour? You gotta factor it in, at least a minimum of it.

Finally, @uncertaininnit said it best:

"I strongly agree about it being unbalanced. The first time I watched the show, I remember genuinely not investing much emotional energy into the ‘love triangle’ because I simply didn’t believe it [...]how was I supposed to take either other ship seriously after that?"

How were we supposed to?? Jack and Kate are OTP and, in order to have something "juicy", if you want a love triangle you must add a "juicy" third element. I think Sawyer was, more or less, that, until S2- maybe even 3, I'm feeling generous. But after that, like I said in my initial post, if you want to raise the stakes you need to give me something. Kate is back on the island, she literally talks maybe two times with Sawyer and now he's back head over heels for her? Naaah, sorry, I don't believe you.

Ummm... I need to ask you losties a question.

As you know I'm a big Jack Shepard apologist (he's the only fictional white man that I'll protect at all cost just because we're trauma-bonded) and, although I honest-to-god think that he has a lot of chemistry with Sawyer, I've always loved his relationship with Kate because it's lightning quick but messy, cute but full of unsaid things.

Aside from fanon readings (unfortunately the show has never taken queer relationship to heart), the Jack-Kate-Sawyer love triangle was, more or less, interesting until s2 max s3. After that? It was just a tired trope that they continued to use because the show kept running but they had already reached its resolution and didn't really bother to find more interesting ways to develop the relationship between these three.

Today, however, while I was re-watching "The Little Prince" (S5) I realized one thing: perhaps the reason why it feels like it's a tired trope is because, narratively speaking, it's pretty unbalanced?

I mean, in S4 we see Jack and Kate relationship both on the island and back home. Like, we literally see them as they develop their relationship along two different timelines. In other words, we're given more material and, as I've already said many times, it's clear as day that by S4 the love triangle thing has been resolved.

However, because in S5 time works differently, we keep continuing seeing Jack and Kate's relationship but we also see the last remainder of Sawyer's attachment to Kate. But, by now, 20+ episodes have passed, different timelines have been explored so... the "bond" between these two characters feels... diluted?

As in, it makes sense for Sawyer to still think about Kate because only a few weeks have passed to him. But to us? For us three years have passed + what happened on the island with Jack and Kate in s4 so it kinda makes also sense to us that the love triangle is done.

It's like what I said about Kate and Jack's fight in s4: it makes close to zero sense for them to fight over Sawyer, not because they've just forgotten about him but because we see actual events happening to them in-between those years. And these events are all pretty though so the Sawyer-of-it-all almost pales in comparison!

So what I'm trying to say, I guess, is that while the time-travels storylines are cool as fuck, when it comes to feelings and love... they leave a bittersweet taste after viewing the episodes because the relationships suddenly don't feel earned anymore.

Like, we literally see Sawyer develop a bond with Juliet, open up to her, show his vulnerabilities etc. On the other hand, we also see Jack and Kate being domestic etc. So all the sudden "pathos" between Sawyer and Kate is just... not there?

Up until s3 they were GREAT together but after that? Just too many things happened and their relationships wasn't as "fated" as Kate's with Jack. It would've made more sense if they'd either showed a rekindling that actually made sense or they'd just developeded their dynamics differently.

Anyhoo, I've written too much, I really wanna knw what YOU folks think!

[factual-flittermouse]

Being queer is seeing a post saying “Movie night! We’re watching Legally Blonde because we are secure in our masculinity” and realizing that you actually have fragile masculinity (likely tied to being queer and the stigmas that accompany that) and that your fragile masculinity is why you feel embarrassed to like a musical that’s so aggressively pink… or not, idk

[cyberyam]

If you do requests, could I please ask for a scenario where Jinwoo gets a little jealous of Jinah because his lover has been spoiling her rotten with gifts, food, (and worst of all) headpats?

Nothing serious of course. Just playful, harmless jealousy.

an. hehe okay :3 i hope you like it

not fair.

Pairing: Sung Jin-Woo x Fem!Reader

Summary: You develop a close relationship with your boyfriend’s sister, and Jinwoo starts to get jealous.

After four months of officially being Jinwoo’s girlfriend, he finally brought you home to meet his precious sister.

He spoke of her so often that every time her name came up, you’d ask when you could finally meet her. Then, one day, over coffee at your favorite café, he finally said the thing you’d been dying to hear.

“This Friday, I want you to come over and meet my sister. I’ll make dinner.”

That night over bowls of steaming bimbam stew, you and Jinah hit it off immediately. You loved the same music, the same shows—conversation flowed effortlessly, laughter filled the room, and Jinwoo sat back, watching it all unfold.

At first, he thought it was cute. He loved that the woman of his dreams and his sister got along so well. Really, he did.

But lately, it had started to gnaw at him.

“Babe.”

Jinwoo hummed in response, his phone sandwiched between his ear and shoulder as he bent down to tie his shoelace on the sidewalk.

“What flavor do you think Jinah prefers? Strawberry or grape?” Your voice crackled with excitement over the line. “There’s this new candy out, and it comes with a limited-edition keychain! The strawberry one has—”

His eye twitched as he secured his shoelace, dusting off his pants before standing up.

“You don’t have to get her anything, you know?” He picked up his grocery bag and continued his walk home. Tonight, you were coming over for dinner, and he already knew how the evening would go. So long as Jinah was in the room, he’d be a second thought. A silent observer to you and his sister’s personal hangout session.

“I know! But I really, really think she’d love these keychains—”

Jinwoo cut you off, his grip tightening on the bag. “What about me? What flavor do you think I’d like?”

He knew better than to sound jealous over his own sister, but still—you were his girlfriend, not hers.

There was a brief pause. Then, as if it were obvious, you replied, “Oh… but I already know your favorite flavor is grape.”

The lack of enthusiasm in your voice ticked him off more than it should have. Why weren’t you that excited about picking something for him? Sure, you already knew his favorite, but still.

“What if I liked the strawberry keychain better?” He challenged, readjusting the grocery bag in his hand.

“Okay!” You said after a contemplating pause. “I have an idea. You’ll see tonight! Bye! Love you!”

Before he could get another word in, the line went dead.

Jinwoo pulled his phone away from his ear, staring at the black screen, pouting.

Unbelievable.

Dinner was… fine.

If you asked Jinwoo, that’s the word he’d use. Fine.

If you asked literally anyone else, they’d say it was great—especially you and Jinah, who spent the entire meal talking like long-lost best friends.

Jinwoo barely got a word in. He just sat at the head of the table, chewing slowly, watching as you both laughed over some inside joke he wasn’t part of. His chopsticks hovered over his plate, picking at his food while his eyes flicked between the two of you.

“Wait, wait—so you’re telling me the villain knew the whole time?!” you gasped, setting your spoon down.

“Right?! And the way they revealed it! I was losing my mind!” Jinah grinned, practically bouncing in her seat.

You groaned, gripping your hair. “I need to rewatch that scene. I swear I stopped breathing for, like, a full minute.”

Jinwoo exhaled through his nose. “Must be a good show.”

Neither of you heard him. You were too busy reenacting the scene while Jinah hyped you up.

He hated to admit it, but he didn’t like that he wasn’t the reason you were laughing.

He was jealous of his sister. That was a fact now.

After dinner, you and Jinah took over the kitchen, still wrapped up in your conversation as you cleaned up together. Jinwoo, left to his own devices, did the only thing that made sense—he tried to watch the damn show.

He even found a recap video online, hoping to catch up without sitting through all ten episodes. Maybe then he could actually contribute to the conversation. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so left out.

But the second he walked into the kitchen, trying to casually insert himself into the discussion, you crushed any chance he had.

“Oh, that episode? Yeah, Jinah, tell him what happens at the end.”

Jinwoo’s stomach dropped. “Wait—”

“Oh, right! So basically, the villain—”

“Don’t!” He practically lunged forward, but it was too late. The spoiler hit him like a slap to the face.

Jinah giggled, elbowing you. “Should’ve kept up,”

You tried your best to hid your smile, stifling your laugh at your boyfriends agape expression.

Jinwoo groaned, dragging a hand down his face. This was actually worse than being ignored.

Later, the three of you settled into the living room, and you finally pulled out the candy you’d been raving about all day.

“Okay! I got one of each flavor, so everyone gets both keychains.”

Jinah gasped, practically snatching them from your hands. “Oh my God, these are so cute! Thank you!”

She held up the strawberry one, twirling it between her fingers like it was some kind of priceless treasure. Jinwoo watched as her face lit up—like a kid getting their favorite toy on their birthday.

“I knew you’d love them,” you grinned, reaching out to pat her head. “You have good taste, Jinah.”

Jinwoo felt his eye twitch.

Then, to make it worse, you suddenly gasped. “Oh! I almost forgot!”

You dug into your bag, rummaging around before pulling out something else—a tiny banana-shaped stress toy, soft and squishy, with an adorable face printed on it.

“I saw this on my way out and immediately thought of you,” you said, handing it over like it was a sacred offering.

Jinah gasped even louder than before. “No way. This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” She squeezed it, watching it slowly return to its original shape. “It’s so squishy! Oh my God, feel this.”

She shoved it toward Jinwoo, and he reluctantly poked it, watching it deflate under his touch.

It was a banana. A literal banana.

You cooed at her. “I knew you’d love it! You little plushie-loving gremlin.” You patted her head again, ruffling her hair like she was some tiny, adorable pet.

And that was it.

Jinwoo gripped his keychain tighter, his jaw tightening with it.

What the hell was this? Why were you patting her head?

Later that night, you flopped onto Jinwoo’s bed with a satisfied sigh, stretching your arms over your head.

“Tonight was fun, right?” you mused, rolling onto your side to look at him.

Jinwoo, meanwhile, was sitting at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, back turned to you like a sulking child.

You blinked. “…Babe?”

Silence.

Oh.

You bit back a smile. “Are you seriously giving me the cold shoulder right now?”

More silence.

Jinwoo let out a slow, dramatic sigh and leaned forward, rubbing his hands down his face. “I just… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I was actually jealous of my own sister tonight.”

You grinned, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Yeah, I kinda figured.”

He finally turned to glance at you, lips pressed into a pout. “You patted her head.”

You blinked. “…So?”

“You never pat my head.”

You stared at him. Then, a laugh bubbled up before you could stop it. “Oh my God. You’re serious.”

Jinwoo groaned, flopping back onto the bed beside you. “Forget it. Just go give your new favorite sibling a goodnight kiss, then.”

You rolled over, resting your chin on his chest as you peered up at him. “You’re such a baby.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I want to be your baby,” he grumbled.

Your heart melted just a little.

With a grin, you reached into your bag and pulled out one last thing.

“Good thing I got this for you, then, you little baby.”

You placed a small plush doll onto his chest—a tiny, ridiculous-looking demon with a scowling face and tiny horns.

Jinwoo blinked. “…What the hell is this?”

“A demon,” you said brightly. “I saw it while I was at the store and immediately knew I had to get it for you.”

His mouth fell open. “Jinah gets a banana and I get a demon?!”

You burst out laughing, rolling onto your back. “It’s a cute demon! It reminds me of you!”

He scoffed, holding it up with a deadpan expression. “How?”

“Because you act all grumpy and scary, but deep down, you’re just a soft ‘lil cutie.” You propped yourself up onto your elbows and leaned over to poke at his cheek.

Jinwoo groaned, dragging a hand down his face, but you caught the tiny smile tugging at his lips.

Then, without warning, you reached over and patted his head. “There. Happy now?”

He blinked. Stared at you for a long second. Then—without a word—he grabbed you, pulling you into his arms and rolling onto his side so you were locked against his chest.

“I’m keeping this,” he muttered, squeezing the demon plush against your back.

You smiled into his shirt, snuggling closer. “I figured.”

© cyberyam

[kennedyhateskanye]

Jinx dating head cannons

because i unfortunately developed a deep and uncharacteristic attraction to her.

Warnings: angst, f!reader, writing of drastically poor quality probably, codependency,

Jinx isn’t all there, you knew it very well going in, both of you, which is why her intelligence, depth, and capacity for love shocked you. Of course her mental illness rises and falls. Flaring up and resolving itself several times each day. It’s not uncommon for her to be extremely lucid and seemingly resolved of any mental block for a few hours, behaving so “normally” you’d forget she struggled at all if you didn’t know her so very well.

Of course the longer you loved her, the more resilient you became to the emotional roller coaster she dragged those around her on. You learned not to take it personally. And even more importantly, to never hold it against her, after all, if it was hard for you to deal with her mental anguish, it must be infinitely more difficult for her.

However, what most people don’t know about loving jinx, when they picture it, is that all the work it was seemed minuscule in comparison to the pay off.

She was a force of nature, complex and beautiful and unforgiving, to witness her was to be put in awe. Any struggle she gave you was collateral. You’d walk through fire for her love. Enormously more warm and sweet and all encompassing than that of any of the smirking pilties that turned their nose up at her.

She’d wake up in the middle of the night. To watch your chest rise and fall, and to thank her lucky stars that you were here with her.

She thought of you in everything, saw you in everything she did, evrey task she carried out, every tool and trinket she built

It was near constant you’d walk into your shared room to find something she’d crafted for you with her own two hands and her remarkable genius. Welded flowers, jewelry boxes, wind up toys, hell sometimes you didn’t even know what they were supposed to be, all painstakingly painted in great detail with her signature colors.

That and the notes, oh the notes. all scribed in her chicken scratch with her special quill fountain pen. You’d find them everywhere. Under cups, in your journals, on the walls, hidden beneath pillows. Some were proclamations of love, some were slightly nonsensical. Some were drawings of you two, or sketches she did of you while you weren’t looking, ink strokes depicting you distracted with a task, face scrunched in concentration.

You guessed all her little tendencies were not only small acts of love, but also reminders, that she was there, even when she was away. Jinx struggles with abandonment, scratching grading voices telling her you’ll leave her, storm off and forget about her without a second thought. So, Subconsciously she reminds you, tries to entertain and to please even in her absence.

You are her first thought in the loneliness of the morning when you’re not yet awake, she often feels a pang in her heart at the thought of you and wraps herself desperately around your body, nuzzling her face into your neck or chest to capture your scent and your presence.

She lets loose for you, lets her hair down, lets her hips sway to the music while she’s working, lets her foot tap absentmindedly, lets her subconscious train of thought out, and finds herself loving nothing more than when you reply to each bit of her ramblings as she goes.

She has never felt such relief as she has for the duration of your relationship. Someone to stay, to rub her temples and hum for her when the voices swarm hurting her head. Someone to disarm her when she hallucinates, using practiced exercises to help her check reality. Someone to bandage her hands when she chews at her cuticles and skin absent mindedly

The care absolutely goes both ways, though, and jinx truly does dote over you in endless ways.

She can sense when you are even slightly altered in any way, frustrated, sad, doesn’t matter. She can tell, and she uses her supercomputer of a brain to make a mental bullet list of the most effective ways to make your uncomfortably dissapear

Sometimes jinx looses herself in her scattered mind and forgets to come up for breath. Forgetting to bathe, to eat, to sleep. You take the burden off her shoulders, slowly and tediously washing all of her long blue hair, braiding it back into a wearable style. Scrubbing days old makeup of her face with a washcloth and a gentle hand, taking turns biting out of something you cooked for her.

After these sessions you dress her in your clothes and lay in bed together for hours wide awake, while she stares at you with wide beautiful eyes, saying very little, iorn grip on your arm or your hand, her heart racing with immeasurable love and affection

That’s a whole other thing, jinx has a very serious staring problem, your not sure what it is, but you’ve come to accept it, she often goes selectively silent and stares with her eyes blown wide. Taking in evrey facet of your being. It’s unmistakably affectionate

Jinx wants to be buried with you, jinx wants to see you through evrey season of every lifetime. There’s no question that girl loves you

[dr-spectre]

I saw this really great thread on twitter by Grungygrim and it definitely highlights my thoughts and frustrations with the story of these games and the Splatoon fandom as a whole. (be forewarned, i get really tilted in this blog post fyi.)

I made a blog post about 2 weeks ago where i said that i was happy that the narrative online that "Callie is an idiot who got kidnapped and then brainwashed/mind controlled against her consent" is going away. (Here's the link: https://www.tumblr.com/dr-spectre/749710338672525312/im-so-happy-that-the-narrative-online-that?source=share)

Unfortunately I'm gonna have to retract a lot of the stuff i said. I'm still seeing, TILL THIS DAY THAT NARRATIVE ONLINE! IM STILL SEEING SO MUCH MISINFORMATION AND IT MAKES ME REALLYYYY ANGRYYYY!!! As a big fan of Callie, people completely outright ignoring her character arc THAT WAS SET UP SINCE SPLATOON 1 BY THE WAY!!! and not even bothering to look at outside sources for more information and lore genuinely pisses me the fuck off to no end.

No, hypnosis is NOT MIND CONTROL/BRAINWASHING! I DONT WANNA KEEP REPEATING IT! YOU CAN LOOK IT UP! if a person is genuinely uncomfortable and doesn't wish to take the suggestions to heart while hypnotized, THEY WONT DO SO! THEY STILL HAVE CONTROL! Yes, Marie did say "kidnapped" in some of her dialogue, but from her perspective, OF COURSE SHE'S GONNA THINK CALLIE GOT KIDNAPPED! She's known to worry about Callie all the time and ruminate about her, of course she's gonna think of the worst case scenario, doesn't mean she's right though. Was Octavio still in the wrong for hypnotizing Callie in the first place and allowing her to bring out her darker traits more easily? YEAH! NO SHIT! HE'S A BAD DUDE! Not a totally evil person but he has made some awful decisions out of desperation for his people. Why do you think he was so quick to help out the New Squidbeak Splatoon in the finale of Splatoon 3? His people got turned into fluffy monsters by a giant bear, he's all about helping his people.

Hell look at how Callie acts while under the Hypnoshades, she decorates Octo Canyon and her peppy and energetic self is still in tact even during the final boss, she's just more mean and violent. Callie was in an emotional and mentally unwell situation due to her overworking herself and being incredibly lonely as her relationship with Marie was damaged overtime. Callie accepted the suggestions of DJ Octavio and heard him out, AS SAID BY HER FROM THE RELATIONSHIP CHART! She wasn't forced into anything. She didn't suffer "sexual abuse" from Octavio by being forced into skippy clothing as some psychos say online, if she didn't want to wear that outfit she wouldn't cause hypnosis is NOT MIND CONTROL!! I hate having to repeat this over and over again, i hate how the developers basically rushed and ruined this interesting villain arc with stupid shades, only to try and hastily fix it later with an obscure post about A GOD DAMN RELATIONSHIP CHART THAT PEOPLE EITHER DONT KNOW ABOUT OR DONT CARE TO LOOK AT BECAUSE THEY SEE SPLATOON AS SOMETHING FOR KIDS AND TO NOT GIVE ANY CARE TOWARDS!!!!!!!!

I made a god damn giant blog explaining Callie in Splatoon 2 because i felt so frustrated about how my favorite character in the series was being treated and i tried to salvage the story that the writers tried to make. The way that people made her situation worse by saying she got kidnapped and forcibly ""mind controlled/brainwashed"" actually gave me chest pain, thinking about that kind of scenario for Callie actually hurts me... Heck i cant even listen to the Splatoon 2 stage music or final boss music because hearing her reversed vocals makes me feel uncomfortable due to the misinformation online. I hated all the misinformation and i wanted it to stop. HELL EVEN IN GIANT TIMELINE VIDEOS WHERE PEOPLE DO TONS OF RESEARCH THEY STILL GET IT WRONG!! UGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess it'll still be the common and popular notion that Callie is an idiot that got kidnapped and then ""mind controlled"" by some shades... oh well... ugh...

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as really angry, i am. It's just, my brain is really hyperfixated on this squid and she means a lot to me. Seeing the way the fandom as well as the writers treat her makes me really mad. I hope i can find some peeps who feel the same way as i do. Misinformation is so frustrating man... i dont even wanna get into the Octarians because that's a whole other can of worms... anyways im done ranting. have a good night or good morning wherever you live y'all.

[liliasenbyhusband]

Play stupid games

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Joanne x reader (company, f!Bobbie)

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI!!!, smutty thoughts but no actual smut, that’s it I think??

Tags: longing, established friendship between reader, Joanne and the others, smidge of angst if you squint, flirting, reader being down bad

Summary: Joanne and you have always been flirty with one another but what happens when it no longer is just a silly game for you??

Notes: English isn’t my first language so I apologise for any mistakes. I have never written ‘x reader’ fics before so please don’t judge this too harshly. This is going to be a multichapter fic but life is busy so I can’t promise regular updates. I suck at summaries…so I hope all of this makes sense 😅

Words: 3.3k

Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

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Chapter 1: Bobbie’s Birthday

Joanne being flirty with you was nothing new, ever since you had been introduced to Bobbie’s other friends Joanne had found a way to turn any comment into something filthy. And you, never being one to back down, always managed to shoot a flirty remark back. This back and forth had become your established dynamic, the remarks getting more outrageous as time went on. It was just playful banter really, the teasing touches being part of the game you two had started to play. The aim was to try and get the other person to blush first, most of the time you ended up losing, but that only made those few times where you did manage to fluster Joanne even better.

Your innocent little game was a great way to pass the time when the others were too engrossed in talking about their recent marriage troubles or about how the kids were doing. Joanne, having recently gone through her third divorce, had claimed she was done trying to find a husband that would stick around and wasn’t really interested in talking about marriage or kids with the others and you… well… you weren’t exactly lucky in love either, so you preferred to keep your escapades to yourself. And so you two had found the perfect person to get through these evenings with in one another.

There was only one.. small..tiny.. little.. insignificant… problem. Somewhere along the way your brain had forgotten that Joanne’s flirting was just that, a little game and that she wasn’t actually interested… and now you had developed feelings for her. You really were unlucky when it came to relationships and romance.

You couldn’t pinpoint precisely when this had stopped just being a way to pass the time for you, but you could remember exactly when you had realised that you caught feelings for the brunette.

Joanne and you had started hanging out together, outside of a group setting, for over a year now. It had started when she had invited you back to her place after a particularly intense hang out with the others, claiming that you and her both needed to unwind after the tumultuous conversations. Later, after getting to know her better, you’d come to find out that the real reason she had invited you, was that she really disliked coming home to an empty apartment after spending such a long time surrounded by others.

You had to admit that you preferred hanging out one-on-one with her over spending time with everyone in your friend group all together. Not because you disliked the others but because Joanne was different when it was just the two of you. Of course she still teased and jokingly flirted with you but the teasing lost its sharper edges and the flirting was softer and less dirty.

She seemed more at ease this way and slowly yet surely she had shown you bits and pieces of herself. She wasn’t vulnerable often but every now and then you could see through the little cracks that had appeared in her walls when it was just the two of you.

This had been one of those moments. You were lounging around her giant apartment, soft music was playing in the background and Joanne was rambling on about one of her latest annoyances. And every once in a while you could see them, right through the cracks, the real emotions behind what seemed to be superficial complaints. When you looked into her eyes you could see parts of the real Joanne and you wished time would stand still, just for a little while, so you could bask in the moment of being privileged enough to be able to share these little moments with her.

You were nodding along, agreeing to whatever seemingly unimportant thing she was complaining about while expertly reading between the lines, figuring out what this was really about. Some people, like her ex-husbands, might complain that the brunette needed to come with a manual but not you, you found that once you looked past the armour she wore to protect herself, she was rather easy to understand. You just needed to know what to look and listen for, all you had to do was look past the annoyed words she spewed and look for the real message she was trying to convey.

A small smile appeared on your lips as you realised just how well you knew her. You were aware that you only got to know her this well because she allowed you to see this side of her and that knowledge left you with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside your chest. You secretly longed to be the only one she showed this side to, to be special to her. The thought of someone else knowing her this well, getting to see her like this, left a vile aftertaste in your mouth… wait- was that a normal way to feel about a friend? Surely you should want her to have more friends she could be more open with.

But you wanted to be special to her…different from her other friends. Suddenly you became very aware of her hand on your thigh, it had been there a while, still left from earlier when she had tried to fluster you. Usually such a simple touch wouldn’t do the trick, she had to pull out the big guns to win your little game… but then why did you suddenly feel a familiar heat creep up your cheeks.

You tried to shake yourself out of it, focusing on what she was trying to tell you and those beautiful brown eyes.. god you could get lost in those, stare at them for hours and never grow tired of looking at them. A familiar feeling wove its way into your chest, the warmth that had settled there earlier spreading even further. And then you glanced at her lips, to better listen you told yourself at first. But then, out of nowhere, you had to fight the urge to reach out, cup her cheek and pull her into a kiss.

And all of a sudden, like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over you, it hit you… it was plain as day… you had feelings for the woman in front of you. How long had you been feeling this way? You couldn’t remember anything really changing in how you felt towards her. Except lately she seemed to win the game more often and you seemed to fluster rather easily, and the compliments you threw at her held more sincerity and warmth and were less about trying to get her to falter and more about telling her how beautiful you thought she was… you couldn’t remember when it had started but her touch was driving you insane, even more than it did before, and now that you thought about it you found yourself often daydreaming about the brunette.

You had internally cursed yourself and had pushed those feelings down, they would be dealt with when the reason for your internal turmoil wasn’t sitting right in front of you. So you continued to listen to Joanne and decided you’d deal with this mess later.

“Are you still with me, doll? Or have you gotten lost in that pretty little head of yours again?” Joanne’s teasing voice cut through your thoughts.

How long had you been spiraling? You mentally cursed yourself, ever since finding out you had feelings for the woman, you couldn’t stop yourself from overthinking every moment and ruminating on the moment you had found out.

You shot her an apologetic smile, your cheeks threatening to flush at the use of the pet name and the slight teasing. You hoped she wouldn’t notice, it was Bobbie’s birthday party after all and a lot of stuff was happening around you two.. the perfect excuse, you realised as you quietly spoke, just loud enough for her to hear.

“Sorry, there’s just a lot going on… it’s a bit overwhelming.”

You hoped she wouldn’t see through you. It wasn’t entirely a lie, everything going on around you might have overwhelmed you in other circumstances… if you hadn’t been too busy thinking about her.

Joanne seemed to buy it… for now… and her normal teasing tone was exchanged for a more serious, caring one as she asked you the following.

“Do you want to go somewhere a little more quiet?” Usually she would have added something to make the sentence as suggestive as possible but when you looked into her eyes you could see the slightest sliver of worry in them.

You couldn’t help the warmth that spread through you at the thought that she cared this much about you and your comfort, it was soon followed by a tinge of guilt for making her worry about you.

The rational part of you knew that you shouldn’t go somewhere more quiet, alone with Joanne, it would only make things worse. Her entire focus would be on you and you wouldn’t be able to distract yourself or use the ongoing party as an excuse. And yet part of you wanted to spend some more time alone with Joanne.. you couldn’t help it. Having the other woman’s attention solely focused on you was something intoxicating and you’d become addicted to it.

“No, I’m okay. I wouldn’t want to drag you away from a good party.” You sent her a reassuring smile as you both silently cursed and thanked the rational part of your brain for taking over.

Joanne chuckled dryly before teasingly replying. “Darling, if you think this is a good party then I need to take you out more.”

Before you even properly realised what she was doing, the brunette grabbed your hand and dragged you into Bobbie’s bedroom before closing the door. You knew she was only doing it because this was the only quiet spot in the apartment at the moment, but the second you registered where you were, your mind flooded with images.

You pushing Joanne against the door and kissing her till she was a moaning, whimpering mess. Joanne pushing you down on the bed as her hands quickly got rid of your clothes, those captivating brown eyes filling with hunger and desire. Your hand finding its way into her pants and-

“There, isn’t this much better?” Joanne’s voice cut through your racing thoughts and brought you back down to Earth, the images fading to the back of your mind.

The lack of any crude comments about you both being in Bobbie’s bedroom confirmed that she had been truly worried about you and it enhanced both the guilt and spreading warmth that you had felt earlier.

You hummed in confirmation then thanked her softly, sending her an appreciative smile while mentally cursing yourself for not being able to control your thoughts. You knew you had been acting strange around her lately, zoning out more often and getting way too flustered, too quickly. Joanne was a perceptive woman, she was bound to catch on at some point and you did not want to risk losing her entirely just because you couldn’t keep your feelings at bay.

“You know this wasn’t the reason I imagined you dragging me into a bedroom for the first time.” You teased, hoping to settle back into your established dynamic, fearing that any amount of silence stretching between you would result in you getting lost in your thoughts once again.

But then you began overthinking everything you were saying. Was this too much? Would this give you away? Could she see right through your façade and catch the truth behind your words? You internally groaned and hoped you’d get over this crush soon so you’d finally be able to act normal around her again, without overthinking every single thing.

The sudden change in mood seemed to catch Joanne off guard a little but it seemed to have convinced her that moving to a quieter place was all you needed and that you were now feeling better. Despite appearing a little surprised by your sudden teasing, she managed to quickly shoot back a rebuttal.

“Oh darling, the night is still young, you never know what might happen.” She sent a wink your way before sitting down on the bed and quickly adding. “Although I will have to take you back to mine because my bed is far more comfortable.” She added with a smirk.

“I don’t think I could wait to go all the way back to yours first, we might just have to make do with what we’ve been given.”

You said dramatically and jokingly as you leaned against the wall, making sure to keep your tone light and teasing as you tried your best to not imagine what Joanne’s bed would feel like… or what it would be like to have her moan your name in it.

Joanne gasped loudly and placed her hand on her chest, acting offended. “You think I won't last more than one round? We don’t have to finish where we started, you know.” Her eyes raked over your body with that playful glint so clearly present in them.

You willed yourself to not start blushing and to come up with a witty and even bolder remark but failed on both accounts so instead just playfully rolled your eyes and held your hands up in defeat.

Her smirk only grew when a pink hue coloured your cheeks. “You’re becoming too easy.. I’m going to start suspecting you of letting me win on purpose.” Joanne teased.

“Or maybe you just keep getting more vulgar.” You raised your eyebrow, shooting her an exaggerated questioning look.

“You love it.”

She shot back with a knowing smile and you felt the familiar ache of longing in your chest. If only she knew just how much you loved it… how your brain had forgotten this was all just some silly game you two had started to pass the time.

“I do.”

You chuckled softly, a full smile slowly returning to your lips, no matter how tumultuous the feelings inside you were, you couldn’t help but enjoy this little moment. The banter, Joanne caring about you and knowing you better than you had previously thought, and her smile that never failed to make your heart skip a beat, overshadowed the fear and worry that was ever present in the back of your mind.

“It’s good to see you feeling better.” The teasing and joking tone from earlier had completely disappeared and made way for a rare serious and genuine intonation and expression.

You were certain that your blush only deepened at the blatant display of care but, luckily for you, Joanne had decided not to comment on it.

“Spending time with you like this always makes me feel better.” You answered honestly, matching her serious and genuine tone.

Before Joanne could answer and before you could overthink the little confession and start spiralling once again, Bobbie burst into the room, clearly drunk. She sent a knowing smirk your way and you immediately regretted ever telling your best friend about your crush on Joanne. For a moment you feared she might say something that would give you away but instead she turned to the other woman, her face displayed a mock disgust, her voice was light and playful while her speech was slurred.

“Come on you guys, no getting it on in my bedroom! You’re missed at the party.”

Bobbie held the door open and waved her arm around, motioning for you both to get out of her bedroom.

Joanne shot you a worried look, that told you she was ready to tell the birthday girl to fuck off if you needed a couple more moments here alone with her. You smiled at her reassuringly, telling her without words that you were okay and that you didn’t mind returning back to the main event.

The brunette got up from Bobbie’s bed and walked up to you, gently squeezing your hand before walking past you and out of the room. You were about to follow her when Bobbie placed a hand on your shoulder and stopped you, whispering in your ear.

“You better tell me allll the details later.”

You groaned and whispered back. “Nothing happened, there is nothing to tell.”

Bobbie gave you a once over, as if to check if you were lying or not, when she was satisfied that you hadn’t lied to her, she disapprovingly shook her head, poking your shoulder after every word.

“Take. Action. You. Need. To. Get. Laid."

Her voice was louder than before and the blush that had finally started to disappear threatened to make its way back to your cheeks so you decided to simply roll your eyes and walk away, ending the conversation there.

There was no reasoning with a drunk Bobbie anyway and trying to tell her that it wasn’t like that, that you didn’t just want to screw Joanne but that it was deeper than that, was a futile task. And trying to convince her that you were almost certain that Joanne did not feel the same way and that you were quite sure you weren’t her type was already impossible when she was sober, so was completely hopeless now.

As you walked out of the room and made your way to the hall, so you could rejoin the others, you realised that Joanne had been waiting for you in the hall, meaning she most definitely heard the last part of your conversation with Bobbie. She looked at you, raising a brow, silently questioning you what that was all about.

You just shook your head and waved your hand, quietly telling her it was nothing for her to worry about, hoping that she wouldn’t question you about it. And it seemed like you were in luck because after studying your face for a bit, she simply walked back into the living room and joined the party again.

You quickly followed suit, silently thanking whatever was up there for not putting you through the pain of trying to come up with a convincing lie or a truth vague enough to tell Joanne. That woman knew you far too well and she did not hold back when it came to telling you that she knew you were bullshitting her.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur, you spent time talking to your friends, celebrating Bobbie, and complaining about life. You and Joanne didn’t manage to get any alone time again, you’d sometimes end up talking to the same people together or sometimes you’d shoot each other looks across the room but someone always seemed to be needing one of you just when you were about to head to the other.

The last time you saw her was when you were saying your goodbyes. She was talking to Bobbie about something, you had tried waiting till they finished their conversation but by the looks of it that wouldn’t be any time soon. Joanne was wildly flailing her arms around, gesticulating and punctuating her words with the movements of her hands. Bobbie was rolling her eyes even more than usual and was trying to act all laid back and nonchalant while sipping her drink every 5 seconds. These were clear signs that they were having a heated discussion and with those two, those discussions could last till the early morning hours..

So you had quickly and apologetically interrupted, told them both goodbye before kissing each of them on the cheek and abruptly leaving Bobbie’s apartment.

And now you found yourself laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, overthinking every single interaction you had had with a certain older woman. Your mind replaying every moment, trying to find some indication that you had fucked up and that Joanne was now aware of your feelings towards her. You groaned and tried any and everything to get that woman off your mind, to no avail.

Sleep did not come easy that night and when it did finally envelop you in its sweet embrace, you still couldn’t escape the woman that had been plaguing your mind. Your dreams were filled with her red lips, rich French perfume and sweet words, that had burrowed their way into your brain. There was no denying it, this woman had wormed her way into your heart and it didn’t seem like she would be leaving any time soon.

[merrybloomwrites]

Something Great (Larry x Bandmember Reader)

Summary: When you find yourself the sole girl in a band with five boys, of course your main focus is the band. But the boys? Well, they also have your attention. Navigating relationships is hard, but if you're lucky, that work can be worth it in the end.

Word Count: 2.5K

AN: Thank you to the anon who requested Louis x Harry x bandmember reader ages ago! Thanks both for the request, and the patience as I dealt with some major writers block on this one.

This isn't going to be a series so much as a little universe where I add random stories to it. So this is the getting together story to create the universe. I have a few ideas so far, but if there's anything specific you'd like to see feel free to send a message or leave a comment!

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Singing has always been a passion of yours. Your mom had put you in the children’s choir at church when you were little, and you’ve been singing ever since.

When your friends heard about auditions for the X-Factor they had all encouraged you to go. Or well, basically forced you. Even when you said it was silly, that you weren’t that good, they still told you that you had to at least try.

You never thought you’d make it, and when you didn’t get accepted after your audition you figured you’d been right. But then you and five boys all got called back and were put together in a band. 

Next thing you know you’re competing, spending all of your time with these five boys to practice and do interviews. You thought this would be short lived, that it would end once you lost the competition, but the opposite had happened. You’d all quickly rose to fame, becoming loved by people all over the world.

It’s a busy job, and doesn’t leave time for much else.

Except you’re a teenage girl, now sharing a tour bus and effectively living with five teenage boys. Five boys who have somehow quickly tamed their fluffy hair from messes into attractive styles. Five boys who are more open and vulnerable about their feelings with each other than anyone you’ve ever met. Five boys who are silly, and protective, and kind.

So yea, of course you can’t help but develop crushes on them. However, while your attention definitely cycles through all of them, you find yourself focusing mostly on Harry and Louis. 

Harry, well you’ve had a crush on him since day one. But you watched the way he was with Louis, the looks and touches they shared. This puts two conflicting thoughts in your mind. The first being that Harry is probably not interested in you, or girls for that matter, because, I mean, look at him with Louis. There’s no doubt that he has feelings for him. On the other hand, it made you pay even more attention to Louis, thus deepening your crush for him as well.

You’d find yourself switching between daydreams about being with Harry and then daydreams about being with Louis. So really it was only a matter of time until that all blended together. Without you even realizing it, you were now daydreaming about it being the three of you. 

Admitting to yourself that you want a relationship with both of them was difficult. Because you knew that it could never happen. So you tried to bury those dreams deep down until they would eventually go away.

It worked for a while. Things got even busier and your focus turned fully to the music.

And then you walked in on a sight you should have expected. But still, seeing Harry and Louis kissing was somehow a shock. One that left you feeling so sad, and lonely, and somehow rejected. 

They didn’t know you caught them, so you had backed away and let them continue their moment in private.

But it was clear that a shift had occurred in the dynamic. The boys kept their secret for another week before telling the rest of you that they were together. You watched as Liam, Niall, and Zayn congratulated them on finally figuring out their feelings. You joined in, hoping your enthusiasm matched the rest. 

Weeks pass, and you’re constantly having to watch Harry and Louis together. They have to hide the relationship from the outside world, which means they’re practically attached at the hip whenever they can find privacy. And apparently that includes times when you, Niall, Liam, and Zayn are there. 

They never get too over the top, but when it’s just the band, they’re always touching in some way, or sharing the occasional kiss. 

It should be sweet, and it is, and you’re happy for them, truly. But jealousy is an ugly thing. And the more you have to watch them being so cute together, the more your jealousy rages. 

You’ve had to start distancing yourself from them, worried that you’d do or say something that you’d later regret. They picked up on this of course, and one day they come to confront you about it while you’re all waiting backstage between sound check and a show. 

“Do you have a problem with us being together?” Louis asks. He’s holding Harry’s hand, and the sight of him running his thumb gently along the back has you almost crying. You wish you were in their position, either of their positions. But no, you’re alone.

“I don’t have a problem,” you reply.

“Really? Because you’ve been avoiding us for weeks now,” Harry says. “Is it because we’re two boys?”

That shocks you, and you say, “Of course not! I can’t believe you’d accuse me of being homophobic! That you’d think so little of me that I’d be bothered by that!”

“Well you’re clearly bothered by something! And we know it has to do with me and Harry being in a relationship,” Louis retorts. 

“I don’t have a problem with you two being in a relationship! I just-” you throw your arms up and turn to step away. Harry reaches out and his hand wraps around your wrist as he says, “Please don’t walk away! Not until we figure this out. I don’t want us drifting apart like we have been.”

Your breath catches, both at his touch and his pleading words. You pause for a moment before finally turning back. Harry drops his hand and your skin feels cold in his absence. 

“What is it, Y/N?” Louis asks calmly. You can tell by his expression that he wants to fix this, that he wants to help you. But you have no idea how to explain the problem without admitting your feelings for them. 

“I guess I’m just feeling lonely. And watching the two of you be so happy together makes that worse. Also-” you cut yourself off once more, not wanting to let anything slip.

“Also?” Louis prompts.

“I guess that as the only girl in the band I thought that if anyone would be in a relationship with a bandmate, it would be me. But I didn’t want to complicate things so I just, you know, squished my feelings down so they’d go away.”

Harry quickly says, “But I mean, you still can. We can even help you! Who is it? Liam? You two would be so cute together! Or is it Z, or Niall?” 

Harry doesn’t notice your expressions he speaks, but Louis does. He immediately understands what Harry hasn’t and says, “Is it one of us?”

Your face flushes and you want so desperately to hide in embarrassment at being called out like this. But you just reply, “I mean, yes and no.”

They both look at you confused before putting the pieces together. “You like both of us,” Harry states. You nod yes. “Did you want to be with one of us?” he asks. You shrug, not really knowing how to reply. “Did you want to be with both of us?” he finally asks. 

You know you can’t lie, that they’ve cornered you and now you have to admit this. “Fine, yes! Okay, yes, I like both of you and I wanted to be with both of you but I knew that wasn’t an option and now you’re together so neither of you are options and I just have to deal with that. You know the truth now, so I’m going to go hide in shame for a little while.”

This time you don’t let them stop you, walking away swiftly and hiding in a nearby girls bathroom where they can’t follow you. 

Things are awkward for the rest of the day but everyone does their best to put on a good show. You wake up the next morning in your hotel room and quickly check twitter to make sure there were no negative comments. Seeing nothing, you’re relieved that the fans didn’t pick up on the tension between you, Harry, and Louis.

You get up and make a cup of tea, and just as you go to take a sip there’s a knock at the door. Never a moment of peace, you think to yourself. That thought gets emphasized when you look through the peephole and see who’s on the other side. 

Somewhat grudgingly, you open the door to let Harry and Louis in.

It’s awkward as you share good mornings. It’s a small room, so the only sitting option is the bed. Knowing this is likely about to be a sit down conversation, you wordlessly turn and sit cross legged on the bed, your back against the headboard. Louis and Harry both perch at the end of the bed, leaving space between them.

For a second you feel guilt, wondering if the conversation yesterday caused a rift between the two boys. But then they share a look and you know that’s not the case. 

“We wanted to talk about what you said yesterday,” Louis begins. 

“Well, actually we talked to each other about it quite a lot last night,” Harry adds. “So now we wanted to include you.”

“I've said everything I have to say,” you state, tired of having this conversation again. 

“Yea but we haven’t,” Harry answers. “You were honest and vulnerable last night. Now it’s our turn.”

There’s a small spark in you, a spark of hope that you try to tamp down in case this doesn’t go your way. 

Louis speaks next, “Harry and I were talking last night and we learned that on top of our feelings for each other, we both have feelings for you as well.”

“You're just saying that now that I’ve said it,” you reply defensively. 

“We’re not! I promise!” Harry interjects. “You can call our mums, they’ll tell you that we’ve called them to talk about how we both have crushes on two band members and don’t know what to do.” 

It’s clear he’s telling the truth, and it makes your mind spin. These two boys, whom you like, both like you as well. But they also like each other. And are in a relationship. So where does that leave you?

“Ok, so we all like each other,” you say. “What now? Does anything change or do I just have to live with this information?”

“We’d like if things would change,” Louis says. “We discussed it last night, and we both want you to be a part of our relationship. If you want to, that is.”

You almost ask for time to think about it. But you’re tired of thinking. “I want to. I want to be with both of you.”

You know it will be difficult to navigate a three person relationship, especially when you’re all under such high levels of scrutiny at all times, but right now you don’t care. Right now, you’re getting everything you’ve ever dreamed of. 

“Will you go on a date with us? Tonight?” Harry asks, his cherubic face full of hope. 

“But we’re not allowed to leave the hotel,” you say. 

“Who cares?” Louis adds. “We’ll get takeaway and eat together in my room. It’s completely clean, l’m staying in Harry’s anyway.” 

“Will you have dinner with us?” 

“Okay. Yes, I’ll have dinner with you guys tonight,” you answer. 

“It’s a date,” Louis says with a smile. “Room 328, 6pm.”

“I’ll be there.”

The three of you stand and walk over to the door. Harry leans in for a bruising hug, holding you tight. Louis is next, and it feels so right to be tucked into his arms. They say goodbye and promise to see you later. 

You spend the rest of the day on cloud nine. Each time you go to do something you pause and think about Harry and Louis, and your heart fills with joy. 

You take a long relaxing shower and dress in a nice pair of jeans and a comfy sweater. It’s not often that you put on makeup and style your own hair but you do so today, wanting to look nice for the boys. 

They each greet you with a kiss on the cheek, and you feel heat rush to your face at the gesture while butterflies flutter in your stomach. You have a lovely time, getting to know Harry and Louis even more. 

When you’ve all finished eating you sit together on the bed to watch a movie. You’re sandwiched between the two boys, and overwhelmed by the feeling of comfort that provides. Halfway through the movie, Harry places his hand gently on your thigh. Minutes later, Louis does the same on your other leg. It feels so good and drives you completely crazy at the same time. 

Nothing more happens during the movie. But there’s a certain energy when it ends, and you can’t help but wonder what might happen next. 

In the soft glow of the TV screen you watch Harry and Louis share a glance, followed by a head nod. Harry squeezes the hand that’s resting on your right thigh, then brings his free hand up to cup your check. He gently turns your head to look at him and you watch as his soft eyes dart to look at your lips. 

Your breath catches as you realize what’s happening. Time seems to freeze as Harry slowly leans closer. You try to memorize every moment of this, knowing it’s the start of so much more. Harry’s thumb caresses your face and finally, his lips brush against yours. 

He pulls back a centimeter and takes a deep breath before firmly connecting his lips to yours. The kiss doesn’t last long, but it fills you with warmth from head to toe. 

Harry has the brightest smile, his eyes sparkling with joy. 

“Lou’s turn?” He asks and you happily shift to face Louis now. 

He bites his bottom lip, and you wish he wouldn’t. You’d much rather do that for him. He releases it and his tongue darts out to lick it. Again you can’t wait until you’re able to do it instead. 

His hand goes to your waist and he moves close. You breathe the same air and then, he’s kissing you. This lasts a little longer, his lips sliding against yours for a moment before he pulls away and places one more kiss just at the edge of your mouth. 

You rest your head on Louis' shoulder and lace your fingers with Harry’s. The three of you relax like that until you start to doze off. 

The boys walk you back to your room, but not before each giving you a good night kiss. 

You lay in bed reflecting on the past two days. You know this won’t be easy, navigating a relationship like this. But you know it will be worth it. 

This is clearly the start of something great.

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AN: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and I'm looking forward to sharing more about this little trio!

[wegog]

Okay, I still think people don't speak enough about how Hades and Persephone's love story is great in Hades game(s).

The way you have to figure it out is like a puzzle. And together with Zagreus you change your opinion about the situation every time. The way Persephone talks about how Hades was always gentle with her and gave her the space she so lacked on Olympus. The fact that after many years, she can still talk about him so dreamily. But at the same time, she is resentful of the way the relationship between Hades and their son turned out. She does not believe that Hades' love could survive all the pain that permeated the last days of their marriage. Although in fact this love is stronger than death. What Hades had always feared was that Persephone had never truly chosen him.

And he always put her needs and desires above the selfishness that often accompanies such strong feelings. Hades was literally the perfect husband who deeply respected his queen and recognized her strength, allowing her to shed the nickname "Kore" forever. And in his desire to do everything as best as possible for his beloved, he only makes things worse, dooming them both (and their son) to suffering. In turn, Persephone leaves Hades not only because she thinks that their son is stillborn, but also because she is afraid of the war that could happen between the gods due to the difficult circumstances under which she ended up in the Underworld (I'm looking at you Zeus).

They are both ready to leave each other so that their loved one is happy, in order to improve things in their kingdom. But it's separation that makes them so wretched, harms their son and the entire Underworld! The fact that the developers decided to make Persephone the Goddess of Verdure and Grain (what means she's kind of the Goddess of what gives mortals food, in fact, the Goddess of the Life), and Hades, the God of the Dead, makes their story so beautifu! Just as many characters in the game cannot imagine them together, it is also obvious to us that they are inseparable from each other, like life and death.

And, of course, small details, like Persephone pored over his portraits even before they met like she was some kind of his fan, what is very funny and breaks the stereotypes.. And how she likes to joke at Hades goodhumouredly, despite the fact that she admires him. And how the Goddess will always point out to him what needs to be done to fix his work or/and his relationship with their son. The way at first Persephone says she and Hades have little in common, but immediately mentions something they share like the same taste in music. Or the fact that they are both insanely smart and seem to be both incredibly good at that boring paperwork (which is doubly funny considering how terrible Zagreus is at it).

No one seems to say it in the game, but despite their outward differences (yes, that frown socially awkward huge God that everyone should be afraid of and that radiant little Goddess with incredible powers of persuasion that everyone adore), in fact, they not just complement each other, but also very similar, but on a deeper level!

P.S. I also see similar dynamics in Zagreus and Thanatos. Like, yes, the God of Blood and Life is together with the personification of Death and so on and so on...

[castleinthemist]

OK finished misericorde vol.2 and been able to sit with some of it for periods in-between play that's allowed me to stew on it. This is going to be a messy collection of thoughts mostly due to the nature of this vol. Yeah spoilers ahoy of course i'll try my best not to reveal the final twist though

So, as i've already said, the music is so good. If the dev grew in confidence over the course of composing for the first volume, that confidence is back in full swing for a really cohesive and deeply enjoyable round 2.

Many times i've wanted to liveblog moments as a reaction but i really wanted to forgoe liveblogging it, even if i did end up having some parts.I think my more severe responses to moments haven't been posted up yet so

can we talk about angela and hedwig i have been fucking dying to talk about them and their whole situation they have trusted themselves into (but in hedwig's case maybe not fully understood). Like. Angela just coming out swinging in this almost hypocritical fashion of 'hey these women are just going to use you for your body as a cheap game they started with catherine and I (unlike them) will give you what you desire but dole it out in measured ways to you because i am above that while i see a self in you i am not like that nor will i treat you like that' and it's fucking WILD. it's wild. it's so juicy both for the interpersonal relationship and the mostly implied or unsaid aspect of that but also yeah woo yeahh woo nun yuri like in a way i guess she has actually perhaps fallen for hedwig (hurray for her pathetic demeanor being utterly captivating) as we can surmise from her pain near the end (oh am i going to lap up whatever drama comes between these two in vol.3) BUT LIKE IT BEING BUILT UPON each other trusting their judgement, it's so good, so good she had hedwig on a fucking leash, that knife turned her on or whatever, the butt flash? prepared to keep her under her sway like it doesn't even feel devious, perhaps it starts off as just keeping her in check but damn. goddam. it's hot it's really fuckign great character writing, the pain hedwig feels over the whole thing, conflicted through her faith and understanding of it (aquinas says it's sinful. hildergaard says it's sinful < LIKE AAAAAUUUUHGHH) AND THIS:

That isn't even all i could get into the whole 'hedwig realising she's a lesbian thing' but there is much there that could be discussed and i am far too tired to get into the weeds of it, and ill equipped to boot to really figure out how i'd want to talk about it too.

anyway

THEY JUST FUCKING DROP that catherine was stabbed twice before death. HELLO?? i feel like hearing that information rejigged something in my brain...was it mentioned in vol.1 at some point? i wouldn't put it past myself to believe that hedwig did forget that information but like. it severely narrowed down suspects to the obvious nun who wields and dagger and knows very well how to use it. except. well. eustace was always right.

unrelated but laughing at moira just dropping she absolutely knows how to cleanly cut of limbs and she says this as lightly as one might ask about the weather. excellent stuff and if i was to still suspect anyone, that at the very least had me still suspecting her up until tatiana spoiled the fun (hehe)

THE EYES THE EEEEEYYYYYYYESSSS did vol.1 have eyes...i feel like it might've. the fact they only start appearing AFTER hedwigs uh...trip? i guess we'll call it. Is it like. symbolism of voyeurism? her exhibitionist habits shes developing? someone looking at the narration? something haunting the space? the words? the fact that only we (the audience) can see these things. tatiana having no eyes revealed but the world being covered in eyes? the general effect of hedwig being overwhelmed by everything new and being observed as part of that? It comes and goes and i have to wonder what is the "trigger" for it because one scene will fade it in and another might have it for a few backgrounds then none at all.

There's many small things i've tried to keep mental notes on: eustace knowing what hedwig's whole anchoress deal is, the reaction the bishop had at the end 'you are here to keep the devils at bay' or something...? hedwig's whole...other self that manifests after her trip...the way hedwig reacted to words of the scripture/rights (fainting again...much like in vol.1? there is something to that perhaps).

i think there are things earlier on i may have forgotten that i wanted to talk about but ah well. the latter half of the game sticks in my mind more. Was glad to get more margaret in this one she feels the most elusive and hardest to grasp of the lot. Oh i guess the mention of catherine having really red hair strikes me as particular but hmm not sure what to make of it.

i suppose my biggest question isn't what's going on with our mystery narrators/editors (hehe) but rather...who was hedwig telling this story to?

EDIT: FORGOT about the swordfucking. amazing stuff. holy shit.

[mahuhumaling]

JATP Season 2 Wishlist

that i wrote in my notes app back in:

and realized i never posted it here? tbf i'm rarely on tumblr. but because i really miss them rn i want to share my ✨ brainrot ✨ that i had back when i thought they were getting a renewal.

Carrie Wilson

she was my biggest flaw in Season 1. I wish her "redemption arc" is fleshed out more in Season 2; give her either more context & backstory to validate her reason for unnecessarily antagonizing Julie, or screentime to properly address how she's just projecting an emotion completely different into bitterness and anger into Julie's recovery

show particularly her earlier dynamic w/ Flynn and Julie? Maybe as Flynn calls her out, we'd get flashback glimpses prior to Rose's death (maybe even Double Trouble temporarily being Triple Threat 👉🏽👈🏽)

for some reason i'm picturing a scene where she's in her dance studio (she has one in their mansion, of course) practicing some of her Dirty Candy routine when she keeps messing up and not in the right mindset to keep dancing. i feel like the best (maybe easiest but whatever) way to guide the audience into her artist mind is to make her be a perfectionist. in frustration, she blows up for a minute before slumping onto the ground and reminisces her fun times with Julie & Flynn

also when you have her develop, please don't make her lose her femininity and the bubblegum pop music, it's great

Old Songs Resurfacing

it'll prove how detailed & thorough you are as a screenwriter if you pay off the songs mentioned in Season 1 in passing to be actual songs in Season 2

Unreleased: Get Lost, Long Weekend, Crooked Teeth, My Name is Luke, and if that riff from the scene in EP. 5 that spurred on the Bobby reveal isn't from one of these songs, add that too

Demo Album: Late Last Night, Lakeside Reflection, In Your Starlight

Willex

imagine your queer couple gets to have their first kiss first than your het main couple, not only will that settle Madi & Charlie's statements about being uncomfortable in doing a kissing scene and maintaining the priority of Juke's emotional over physical relationship, it would also make an powerful statement

Reggie's Character Arc

i know that he initially had an arc that involved a romance with Flynn but because of the ages of who they casted, they scrapped it and didn't have time to rewrite the scripts for him as filming neared, so they have time to adapt to how jeremy portrayed him for season 2: a lovable dork who craves familial love

since there's a possibility that lifers can now see the boys, maybe some found family trope for Reggie and Ray Molina?

he has pretty much formed a parasocial relationship with him at this point

so why not instead of a love interest, Reggie can have his character arc develop & we see his family before thru flashbacks and paralleling those in the current times because he sees Ray as a father figure

picture this: it's raining, Bobby opens the garage door to the sound of knocking, the boys find Reggie soaking wet and out of breath when he tries to say he doesn't know where else to go then the boys immediately figure out another fight in the Peters household happened. Reggie tries to talk again when Alex (because even though they're the airhead-sarcastic duo, they know they love each other) runs up to hug him and tells the other he doesn't have to say anything

cut to a freshly showered Reggie, quietly watching tv with Bobby, Luke, and Alex in the garage, eating whatever

also a solo acoustic country song, pls. just to make him happy

The Aftermath of the Deaths

for both the boys and Rose

we get parallels about how Bobby dealt with trauma and grief to Julie

like, the reason why the clothes are still in there (are to have costume changes for the boys) is because Bobby immediately moved out of the house (therefore also the garage) and left the clothes there because he couldn't bear to burn it, or visit the boys' houses to break the news to their families and return the clothes, or donate it somewhere so he just...left it. it would make for a more solid reason (for costume changes) and an emotional context as to how Bobby really tried to forget them because it was "easier."

it would also make sense why Carrie and Julie ended up friends. Rose probably was there for Bobby when they discovered what happened at the alleyway, so they stayed friends over the years and had their respective families but still kept in touch, (bonus points if absolutely nothing romantic happened between them! yay to normalizing platonic male-female relationships) and why Rose would immediately think of Bobby's three late bandmates to send for Julie when she was on her deathbed

Bobby never really "moved on" (because grief is a really complex thing). it's showed that he has a therapist and everything, and this could definitely have some aftereffects on his daughter. Carrie growing up seeing her father be this amazing rockstar but a negligent father and only showing love in ways she doesn't need (like riches and fame and connections to the music industry) because he's actually a really lonely man on the inside and no one can see that except for Bobby's spouse and Carrie. it'd explain why Carrie is spoiled, and other negative character traits that Carrie has on the surface

it's even why Bobby changed his name to Trevor: 1) Bobby is so closely associated to Sunset Curve and it's an absolute pain to be reminded of that every day, 2) it's a stage name and artists really do get that

More Worldbuilding

they already had some pretty creative concepts/ideas in the first season, so why not expand/expound on them a bit more

the instruments are attached to their souls that's why the boys at first can only touch them, like how Willie's skateboard and helmet are attached to him

which is why when they attach themselves to the world of the present, they gather up energy and focus on touching tangible things like the picture frame

this may follow the logic toward the end where they are finally able to touch Julie because she has become attached to their souls. emotionally.

More Creative Collaboration

i believe in the principle that when a story is finally released/published/told to the world, the world shares it. this is also visible in film/tv where when the scripts are finished and actors receive them, the story becomes part of theirs to work on. which means that they have some sort of autonomy over their characters' motivations, a chance to be heard of their ideas and pitches, and why some certain scenes wouldn't work, etc etc. it doesn't just become the director's story nor the screenwriters'.

the actors' ideas such as Perfect Harmony and their solos from Nothing to Lose are great because they let them in. they took risks, and it paid off incredibly well. more of that please. have them be a part of the writing process, (also the story), but never forget what made the music production great in the first place. be coherent and don't be like others that let too many hands work on one piece—it will lose its sound, its identity.

Julie Knowing

that Nick is possessed by Caleb. ohmygOD. hear me out.

the same S1 ending will play somewhere in 2x01, but it will be revealed that Julie was watching through the window the entire time and when she opens the door to receive the flowers, that last look she gives him is actually her scheming.

determined to get Nick back, imagine The Promised Neverland's level of mindgames Julie could play with Caleb because we already know our girl's smart

Free Willie Willie's Freedom

since the boys feel indebted to Willie's help, they insist on helping him too with getting rid of Caleb's stamp

maybe through his connection with Alex? or maybe Willie's family or friends who are still lifers (which is unlikely but either way). he needs to be saved !!

Song Sequences Ideas

juke counter melody duet like Rini's "Even When/The Best Part," Shane & Mitchie's "Wouldn't Change a Thing," or dodie & Jon Cozart's "a love song/a non love song"

emotional carrie ballad paired with lyrical hiphop choreo

willex song - i absolutely have no idea where this could go directionally but maybe alex on an acoustic guitar with a really soft sweet tune

reprises of S1 songs but in the complete opposite of their original style (the fandom's lonelier All Eyes on Me version, i see u)

nick guitar solo - just because Sacha actually plays, idk how it'd fit in to the plot yet but hey

Nothing to Lose (Reprise) - back in the '90s, a producer manipulates Bobby to sign a record deal to become a star but on one condition: disassociate himself with Sunset Curve, to which he first declines until he slowly gets persuaded. (sort of like Todrick Hall's So Lucky to Be You meets Lyn Lapid's Producer Man)

"So how about it, Bobby Shaw? Do we have a deal?"

"Trevor."

"I'm sorry?"

"Call me Trevor Wilson."

i'm pretty sure someone made an animatic with this idea too but i cannot for the life of me find it !!

7. Season 2 starts the same way as Season 1 does before the opening song plays

Black screen that reads a text "Hollywood 1995"

a pan down to the Orpheum's overhead sign that reads "SUNSET CURVE SOLD OUT"

cut to the interior with Rose finishing up her cleaning when a stage manager calls out: "Sunset Curve!" to which Bobby abruptly stops his pacing back and forth to look up. he and Rose look at each other. music swells until...

cut to him running onto the alleyway, "are they still not finished eating? those gluttons are dead to me i swear—" he cuts off his own words when he sees the boys getting dragged onto stretchers. but we, the audience, don't see it. just a close up of bobby as the ambulance lights reflects his face. rose comes up behind him, still clutching their t-shirt.

[i honestly have no idea if Bobby should get on stage because it just proves Luke's theory of The Orpheum's opening bands eventually becoming big & successful so it'll explain the Trevor Wilson fame even though at first he only did it for the boys, or if he shouldn't because according to the article Julie googled he ran away immediately after they were pronounced in the scene] but either way, this is how the opening starts.

then it progresses to Rose and Bobby respectively having children so they could parallel each other blah blah

8. Julie plays a simple song on the piano while the guys watch her in awe

Storytelling through Props

let's dive deep into Rose's luggage/suitcase and use the props to head for Julie's emotional attachment with them

they already did it with the wardrobe: Rose wears the black leather vest in the pilot while Julie wears the same thing in EP 6

add depth to the characters' relationships like us finding out Julie's multilayered necklace is actually a gift from Carrie or something

SOYON ANN YOU'RE A GIFT FROM GOD. Bobby's necklace is present in both young and old!him

**Rose in flashback scenes should be wearing clothes we've already seen Julie in Season 1 just for greater effect.

The Bobby Conflict

definitely needs to be brought up again by Season 2; they only discarded somewhere in the middle because more pressing matters like the boys' existence blipping away was pushed to the forefront of the story

however, The Bobby Conflict changes. it'll be cleared up that he was offered a record deal as a solo artist by a manipulative producer. and given that the poor boy is only 17 (too, maybe), he agrees. what he doesn't know is the contract's fine print: giving up Sunset Curve's royalties

that information clears it up to the audience and the band, so the conflict becomes this: Bobby's Survivor's Guilt. god wouldn't that be so good tackling that in a kids'/family show.

[physalian]

Physalian's Top 10 Narrative Pet Peeves

*For now*

In one way or another, these all boil down to “Author took a shortcut and I absolutely noticed”. In other words, most of these stem from Manufactured Sincerity.

All of these come with the caveat of *except when done well*. I’m ordering these from “I’m annoyed but I’ll get over it” to “Nope, DNF”. 

10. Sad times = Alcohol

Everyone drinks when they’re depressed apparently. Only women or fat men are allowed to eat away their sorrows with ice cream and guilty pleasures. No one’s allowed to go on a self-pity shopping spree. No one just goes to bed.

They drink. Or they go shoot something. Or punch a wall. It’s usually out of a flask or a crystal decanter. It’s usually whisky (specifically bourbon) or scotch, or something out of a brown paper bag.

Maybe this is my own bias as someone who does not drink, but writers, please come up with more diverse ways to show your character is mourning someone or something, beyond immediately heading straight for the alcohol. Not everyone likes liquor, not everyone owns a decanter set and crystal glasses.

Let them eat or shop or sleep or get high, or watch their favorite show or a really sad movie or listen to emotional music. Let them cry if they’re bad boys. Don’t make them punch walls.

9. Down time = Sexy Times

This applies of course only to narratives with implicit or explicit sex scenes and what I mean by down time is those situations where characters are either on the run or have some crucial deadline to meet, some race to win, what have you, and the second they get some time to breathe and have a heart to heart, they both let their guard down and ignore impending doom and sleep together.

If you’re in the real world and you are that stressed for any of the reasons above, you’re going to be constantly looking over your shoulder, worrying about what you’re going to do next, wondering if you should even stop to rest, not be dead on your feet but have enough energy to bang.

Obviously if it’s played for humor, that’s different, but in dramas, or especially in environments not suited for intimacy (looking at you fantasy and sci-fi) it just feels ridiculous and particularly gratuitous. Non-aces please tell me if this is a legit thing you would do, I sincerely want to know.

It also tends to happen with near strangers who’ve only known each other for several days, possibly weeks with little buildup, and they also tend to be at each other’s throats bickering incessantly. Save the sex for after you’ve won and can really dedicate all your attention to enjoying it.

8. Pointless Filler Pit Stops

Or ones that last way too long for no reason. I love filler, but only *productive* filler. It doesn’t have to service the plot, but it does have to develop at least one character, a relationship, the lore, somebody’s backstory, or be really funny and/or interesting to sit through.

Usually, it feels like it’s there to pad the run time or slow the pacing, but rarely does anything for the overall story. A fair bit of season one of ATLA is filler pit stops, but even when they go to all these random places for one-off adventures, the story is still showing us the world they live in, making it a teachable moment, introducing important characters, foreshadowing, or is just mighty entertaining to watch.

ATLA has only one pointless filler pit stop: the infamous Great Divide. It doesn’t positively develop any of the main trio, we never see these side characters again, Aang’s story is a complete lie so it doesn’t develop the lore or the world, and, most importantly, it’s just frustrating to watch. Your first job as a writer is to entertain, and this episode is annoying.

7. Fridged Character Motivation

I don’t mind the “fridged lady love” inherently. It’s a quick and dirty way to give your brooding hero backstory and everyone is familiar with it. I’m annoyed at how it’s the only nuance these characters tend to get, like this man’s dead wife/girlfriend/dog is his sole motivation for everything he does in life and all his goals.

I like broody badasses. I don’t like one-note broody badasses. His character existed before he met his dead love interest. Who was he back then? Does he have any friends who hate the man he’s become? Old mentors who’ve lost their faith in him?

This man’s arc is usually not even therapy-via-violence to get over his dead wife, it’s just a ham-fisted excuse to make him mean and short-tempered. Who is he, unrelated to this fridged character?

6. Dumbass Villains

The villain has captured the hero and friends and plans some dastardly torture to break their will. The villain has all their tools prepared and monologues about how easy it’s going to be, and the hero usually says something along the lines of “you can’t break me” or “I can take it,” whatever. And after several pages or minutes of screen time, the hero’s right, and then the villain breaks out plan B: The hero’s love interest, or their parents, who have just been waiting in the wings.

Why is this almost never plan A? The hero can always handle the pain, and always breaks down the second it’s someone else’s health on the line. Why doesn’t the villain, who’s always pissed at the lack of results, start with the proper motivation?

It’s either this or they wait until the perfect dramatic timing to reveal some skill or weapon or ultimatum after precious time has been lost, deadlines have been missed, and money has been burnt. Or they’re in the boss battle and they wait until the hero thinks they’ve won to pull out their secret weapon.

Unless you can give your villain a valid reason to not start with all the tools they have at their disposal, it might as well be a reverse deus ex machina. Even if it’s something as simple as Plan B hasn’t arrived on scene yet.

5. Everybody Has a Somebody

A topic I plan to expand on so I’ll keep it short here. Basically, the story wraps up and every eligible single character has a love interest they’re in varying stages of romance with. No one is spared, or they’re already dead. It’s a race to the finish line to give these characters significant others because that’s just what you do, it’s what audiences expect, there must be a romantic subplot.

Particularly annoyed when it’s an ensemble cast and the entire hero team only has relationships with other members of the hero team and no one outside this unit of 6-10 characters (*cough* Percy Jackson *cough*). No one is allowed to be single, or happy that they’re single. Everybody has somebody, no matter how well developed or plausible this relationship is.

4. Half-Baked Twist Villains

No one likes these characters and I’m not saying anything new here, and yet it still keeps happening. This one comes from just recently rewatching the abysmal Cars 2 (which is older, I know) and just trying to untangle this plot. This plot, that Pixar rinsed and repeated in Incredibles 2, and really thought no one would notice. This plot, where the villain creates a problem that doesn’t exist to make their own agenda look better, whether that’s malignant superheroes or green fuel.

Both try. Neither pretend the story is absent of a villain, unlike, say, Frozen. Both movies have a villain, they just have a hidden identity. The reveal just never hits as hard as the writers expect it to because, once again, they didn’t actually do the work to write a competent villain, they just slapped a “villain” sticker on their foreheads and called it a day. Why? Who cares.

3. Consequenceless Revivals

I love revivals, I love bringing characters back from the dead, love watching it, love writing it, love the drama.

Don’t love it when they’re suddenly back with no explanation or price to be paid. A character death should be a major event, and if you kill a character just to make your audience sad, then bring them back with zero effort, death begins to lose meaning in your world. CW shows are particularly terrible at this, specifically the TVD universe and Supernatural.

In the earlier seasons, when Sam or Dean died and came back, they still experienced character growth by dying and the experiences in hell, the PTSD inflicted, the new emotional battle scars. Even when Dean died a thousand times in the “Mystery Spot” episode, the point wasn’t “ha ha funny Dean dies again,” it was exercising Sam’s crippling codependency on his brother, as Gabriel says. There are consequences, either for the character’s psyche, or a cost for bringing them back to life.

2. Wimping Out on Promised Death

This decision makes me want to throw the book at the wall, or pause the movie and walk away. It’s the penultimate battle, the prophecy is upon us, a character or one of two characters must die to save the day, it cannot be impeded, avoided, or circumvented. We’ve known this is coming since the story began and are prepared for the tears and bloodshed.

Then the magical miracle springs out of nowhere and everyone gets to live. Kill them. Please. Even if it’s my favorite character, I’d rather cry over their death than be disappointed by plot convenience. If this is the tragic, fulfilling end to their arc, then that’s how I want it to end. Rarely do these characters get revived in a satisfying loophole everyone should have seen coming. I just feel manipulated.

1.  Forced Miscommunication

*Picture me walking a stadium hawking Pointless Drama like cotton candy and cans of beer* Cheap Drama! Anybody want some Cheap Drama? Cheap Drama!

In the real world, people make misassumptions all the time and many of us are conflict-averse. We avoid talking about our problems to those who’ve wronged us like we’re polarized magnets. Forced miscommunication doesn’t care about anxiety, which would be fascinating to explore as explicitly anxious characters suffering legit mental issues is under-utilized. No, these instances just have characters eavesdropping or snooping and, out of character, make all these outlandish assumptions, refuse to listen to explanations, and start a fight that lasts juuuuust long enough until it’s magically resolved without consequence.

It doesn’t do anything for the story. It exists independently of these characters’ relationship and has zero impact once it’s resolved. I am 100% down for a single miscommunication causing an emotional outburst so extreme that it has the offended party seriously considering the strengths of their relationship, but it never happens that way.

—

TL;DR: The existence of a trope does not do the job of writing a compelling story for you. If you can look at any one scene in your book and not explain why it matters, what impact it has on the plot, story, or characters, delete it or rewrite it so it does. Even if it only exists to be funny, there should still be something gained from the experience.

[rolandrockover]

Thunder Machine

How about a Battle of the Monster Songs contest in the super heavyweight class? Alright, you can have it: Gene vs Gene. God of Thunder (1976) vs. War Machine (1982).

Hence today, I think it's safe to say that there's no need to ramble on about musical similarities in the direct sense when it comes to these two behemoths, probably the only two true candidates, at least considering their live presence, for the definitive Demon song.

Of course, in addition to the 70s and the 80s, Unholy (1992) could also be brought on board for the 90s without hesitation, but unfortunately it never worked as well live as its fantastic studio version, and was played equally rarely. So let's forget it and save it for another constellation. And today I feel more like a demonic duel than an insanely evil threesome anyway.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, In the left corner we'd have God of Thunder, the most likely Godfather of Death Metal, which of course sounds quite impressive and makes quite an entrance, if you are capable of developing enough euphoria towards this style of music. War Machine, for its part, is something like the forgotten nasty great-uncle who has emerged from nowhere to take up his forgotten rightful legacy and won't accept any other regent next to him. Which somehow works out quite well if you take a look at Kiss' setlist from the 80s.

If I imagine God of Thunder as a slow, but immensely stomping and shockwave-inducing mythological and monstrous beast that has existed since the beginning of time unstoppably making its way through its realm, War Machine reveals itself to me as one of those heavily armored vehicles from the Terminator movies that seem to constantly move over mountains of human skulls and crush everything that dares to crawl in front of them, but only somehow more massive and possessed of an evil spirit, firing to the beat from its gigantic cannon barrels.

And against War Machine and its reduced to the lowest minimalist, not exactly high-spirited instinct, God of Thunder still sounds complex, even if it isn't. But then again, the simpler the heavier, and War Machine is downright insanely simple (1). If we were talking about classical music here, I would describe God of Thunder best as epic and War Machine as expressionistic, in the broadest sense of the terms of course.

You could also equate the relationship between the two with a nice vintage movie, something like Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, in which the two of those giant creatures decide to have a good old fashioned one-on-one fight with fists and claws, and, if you like, their super rays, whether natural or technological, and beat each other up diligently.

So what's the bottom line? I mean, I can't really say, after all this one's a no brainer and just for the fun of it. But let's see, who always won in the movies? The original Godzilla, right? In the case of Kiss, I'd put my money on War Machine, but I vehemently refuse to give a machine the edge over a god.

But that's just a matter of principle.

Side Note:

(1) So incredibly simple in fact that it was the first song I ever managed to play on guitar.

God of Thunder (1976)

War Machine (1982)

[emeraldspiral]

So having just seen Wicked I feel obligated to give you all my pitch for an Invader Zim musical. It would be called "Doomed", and not just because it's a word that was used a lot on the show. It actually has thematic significance.

So trying to reframe Zim as a misunderstood anti-hero or scapegoated good guy just inherently sounds like a parody that could never be done in earnest, which is why that's not how I'd try to present the show initially. I would start it off with Zim appearing to be the same old remorseless war criminal we all know and love.

So we're not starting off with Zim's birth and childhood innocence before something happened to embitter him or Zim actually being just a kid with a skin condition or a peaceful scientist with Dib as the villain unfairly targeting him.

The introductory number would be about the Great Assigning, ending with Red and Purple's introduction, which is then interrupted by Zim's arrival. Then Red and Purple would have a little song about their scheme to deceive Zim with a fake mission. Then GIR's introduction would get a little number. Then the Great Assigning set-piece would conclude with Zim setting out for earth singing an "I Want" song about his ambition to conquer the planet and win the approval of the Tallest. This number would end with "doom" as the last word, prompting GIR to sing the doom song. But it wouldn't be an actual number, it'd be exactly like the original; no musical accompaniment or anything, just GIR singing "doom" over and over as the curtain closes for a scene transition.

The curtain would then reopen to Zim being introduced to his class. Dib begins a number attempting to convince his classmates that Zim's an alien and Zim then sings his counter-argument, followed by them sing-arguing back and forth, which takes us into our next big musical set-piece; a song that's basically a speedrun of season 1. Zim's greatest hits such as stealing children's organs, attempting to trap Dib and his classmates in a room with a moose, and turning the class hamster into a kaiju are referenced as part of a montage focused on the rivalry between Zim and Dib. This song would do a lot of heavy lifting to develop Zim and Dib's characters, motives, and relationships. Throughout the song, every time Dib fails to expose Zim he complains to Gaz and expresses frustration with people's inability to see the truth, talks about how he's sure to get the recognition he deserves and make his dad proud as he prepares to go out and face Zim again, and during confrontations makes excuses to justify moments of unnecessary cruelty toward Zim which he won't admit are just him venting his frustrations at an acceptable target. Zim likewise vents to GIR throughout the song about how annoying Dib is, how his next plan is sure to succeed and impress the Tallest, and makes excuses to blame everyone but himself when his plans fail, all the while oscillating between panic and anxiety and delusional overconfidence. There are also hints of Zim and Dib's gradually building begrudging respect and homoerotic tension.

By the time this song is over we're still only about 15-20 minutes in. But after that long, fast-paced intro we slow things down as Tak comes into the picture.

She's introduced with a song which hints at her hypnosis powers, her true identity, and grudge against Zim. At the end of her introductory number Tak quickly strikes up a friendship with Dib.

The plot of Zim attempting to court Tak in order to learn about human affection is dropped. Instead, Zim pays her no mind as his focus is on spying on all the other invaders' progress in order to take his mind off his string of failures. Unfortunately, he finds out that everyone else is way ahead of him and Skoodge of all people has just become the first Invader to complete his mission. Furthermore, the Tallest are on a course headed straight for earth and they're due to arrive quite soon. Zim sings a song panicking over what the Tallest will think if they see he has nothing to show for all his time spent on earth. He gets the idea for a new evil scheme and then sings about the work he's doing to get it into motion.

We cut back to Dib and Tak and Dib starts singing an "I'm not alone anymore" song with Tak deceptively playing along.

Zim starts to get his plan underway and he's feeling pretty confident about it. Dib arrives with Tak to stop him and Zim sings a song taunting Dib about how he'll never defeat him even with help and how Irkens don't need help from anyone. But Zim's plan fails.

Dib is overjoyed and begins a song reprising parts of his "I'm not alone anymore" song and the montage song, believing he's about to get everything he ever wanted thanks to the first person to finally believe him. But Tak cuts him off with a darker reprise of the the "I'm not alone" song combined with her introductory number, pulling the rug out from under Dib and revealing she only pretend to be his friend and helped him defeat Zim as part of her own plan to conquer earth. Dib is devastated as Tak runs off with some part stolen from Zim's failed scheme to go enact her own evil plan.

Dib and Zim begin a reprisal of the montage song expressing their disappointment which transitions into a new song about them deciding that just this once they'll have to team up to defeat Tak (and recruit Gaz and GIR to help out).

Tak sings another reprise of her intro song as her plan goes into action. Zim and Dib then confront her together. Dib expresses his feelings of betrayal toward Tak. Tak reveals what Zim did to piss her off and tells him his mission is fake and the Tallest were coming to see her, not him, after authorizing her to conquer earth to prove herself to them. Zim refuses to believe her and Dib doesn't know what to think.

Zim and Dib manage to defeat Tak, just in time for the Tallest to see Zim blatantly committing treason and have him arrested, and that's the end of Act 1.

Act 2 is where the sympathetic retelling elements start coming into play. We open with Zim and Dib imprisoned. The Tallest come to see them and sing a song confirming everything Tak said was true and gloating about how they're finally going to be rid of Zim. After they leave, Zim sings to himself about how it's a practical joke or a set-up for a surprise party. Dib tries to interrupt with suggestions that they look for a way out, but Zim ignores him and keeps insisting they're not in real danger.

Zim gets taken out of confinement and put on trial where his crimes are revealed in a song. He's convicted and sentenced to execution, and the crowd of spectators sings a song cheering on Zim's impending demise. But Dib has been watching the whole time and things aren't adding up and he can't just ignore it. So he raises an objection and the Control Brain judges decide to actually listen.

Dib makes the case that Zim couldn't have possibly caused the catastrophic events seen in his memories. There should be no way that clogging up one tube could knock out an entire planet's power for 4 years unless the power grids were deliberately designed to fail. The Control Brains take a recess to consider the new evidence.

Zim and Dib are returned to their holding cell. Zim shows a lack of appreciation for Dib's help and questions his motives, but Dib can tell he's just doing it to avoid acknowledging all the uncomfortable revelations that have just come about. He sings a song calling Zim out on his cowardice and warning him that burying your head in the sand to hide from the truth doesn't make it go away.

They return to the courtroom where Dib proposes recreating the infinite energy absorbing blob as part of his case to prove Zim innocent. The judges allow it, and as expected, following the process shown in Zim's memories doesn't yield the same results. Meaning Zim didn't create the blob, someone else did. Someone else comes in with data recovered from the day of Zim's birth, which reveals that his code was tampered with before his PAK was even attached. A diagnostic on his PAK also indicates that his memories have been altered throughout his life. This unfortunately proves that even if Zim was framed for his worst offenses, he's still defective and must be terminated.

They attempt to execute Zim and Dib, but Zim unexpectedly corrupts the Control Brains and destroys them. Zim and Dib are then rescued by Irken rebels who've been hiding in plain sight among the spectators the whole time.

Act 3 begins with Zim and Dib aboard the rebel Irken ship. The Irken rebels sing a song welcoming them into the rebellion before they introduce them to their leader; Skoodge. Skoodge has a song explaining that the Irken Empire is a sham. The information uploaded into their PAKs at birth is selectively edited by the Control Brains to push their agenda. Short Irkens are told they can prove their worth by working hard to serve the Empire, but no matter what they accomplish the system still treats them like trash. And they're promised that colonizing other planets will give them a better life, but it really only enriches the Tallest while things stay the same for everyone else. Skoodge found all that out the hard way after completing his mission only for the Tallest to try to execute him so he wouldn't encourage shorter Irkens to set their ambitions too high. That's when he joined the rebellion and quickly assumed a leadership role. The rebellion has been going on since long before he and Zim were born and it was the Irken rebels who corrupted his code with a malware program designed to make him a saboteur and edited his memories to make him believe he was responsible for catastrophes caused by the rebels. Having seen that the malware is capable of destroying the Control Brains the rebels now want to bring Zim back to Irk to defeat it's central leadership and liberate the planet.

Zim is rightfully pissed off and sings about how he's tired of being lied to and manipulated and used to serve the ends of others.

He storms off with Dib following. We finally get the title song; "Doomed". It begins with him and Dib blaming one another for ruining each other's lives and wishing they'd never met, then lamenting how they were both "Doomed" from the beginning. Born to be losers, destined to fail at everything and unable to change their fate no matter how hard they try. But then the song becomes more optimistic as they build each other back up. They both think the other person is amazing even if no one else recognizes them. The fact that they've gotten up time and again after so many failures, so many beatings, and the universe itself seemingly being against them is a testament to their incredible inner strength.

Dib sympathizes with Zim and tells him to just take off if that's what he wants, he doesn't owe the Empire or the rebels anything. Zim is surprised that Dib isn't urging him to do the right thing, and Dib suggests that maybe the rebels don't deserve his help if they didn't treat him any better than the Empire. Maybe neither of them should be busting their ass for a cruel ungrateful world and it's a fool's errand to even try because they are after all, "doomed". But Zim ultimately decides he's going to try to destroy the Control Brains anyway because he doesn't want to resign himself to such a bleak outlook. And really, wouldn't giving in to hopelessness and apathy just make him part of the problem?

So Dib and the Irken rebels help Zim get into the Control Brain server room so he can plug himself in and corrupt them. But the Control Brains knew he was coming and updated themselves with some powerful firewalls. In cyberspace, an avatar of Zim interacts with the firewall, manifesting as Red and Purple attempting to convince him that he can still win them over if he surrenders and grovels for forgiveness in another reprisal of Zim's "I Want" song. But Zim rejects them.

The firewall then manifests as an army of Irken soldiers that Zim has to fight solo. Dib sees that Zim needs help and attaches an Irken PAK to himself so he can plug himself in to save Zim. Zim and Dib sing a reprise of Dib's "I'm not alone anymore" song as they battle the firewall together. Zim manages to break through and infect the Control Brains with a virus that destroys them. Dib disconnects just in time to avoid being destroyed as well, but it seems like Zim himself didn't make it.

Dib holds Zim's limp body and cries, singing a sad reprise of the "I'm not alone song". But of course Zim didn't really die and he wakes up and they hug and finish the song triumphantly together.

Zim and Dib are hailed as heroes by the liberated Irkens in a celebratory song. Zim's "I Want" song is reprised again as he's approached by Skoodge and the other rebels with a suggestion that he assume a leadership role as they help their fellow Irkens to rebuild. But Zim humbly declines. He knows he's not really fit for leadership and never really wanted the responsibility anyway, just the validation, which he doesn't need anymore.

Dib asks Zim what he intends to do now, and Zim says he doesn't know. Dib invites Zim to come back to earth with him.

The final song is a reprise of Zim's "I Want" song combined with Dib's "I finally found someone" song, combined with the montage song, showing the changes they've gone through. Dib still wants to study the paranormal, but no longer cares who else believes him as long as he has Zim, and Zim just wants to enjoy the freedom he never had with the Empire. Freedom to experience friendship and have fun goofing off, playing games, having sleepovers, hunting cryptids, and riding space bunnies and drinking space sodas with Dib.

[redbullcateringfiction]

Chapter 9 -

Cantata

Arabella is the executive assistant for Mercedes Team Principal Toto Wolff. 10 years into her career, it looks like the tide is changing, and she's beginning to question her relationship with him. Is it something more, or nothing but an idea lingering in her head?

F/M, Fluff, Boss/Employee Relationship, Romance, Pining, Love, Slow Burn

Ninth chapter below the cut or click here for AO3

Click here for the previous chapter on Tumblr, and click here for a list of all chapters

(Total: 38721 words thus far)

Chapter 9: Nonet

If you’ve never thought about it, describing Formula 1 as a beautiful orchestral piece would sound insane. The loud engines, the roar of the crowd, the dramatics. But those are just part of the theater, aren’t they? The set dressings and the audience. The races on their own are the delicate dance on stage. Get ready for turn 12, largo. Now, DRS on the straight, vivacissimo! You can overtake the Red Bull, maestoso. All of it, con moto, con grazia. If you miss a beat or fall off the rhythm, well, there goes your shot at a podium finish. You can fall behind, but you can never catch up. In that way, I suppose, Formula was never like music. Even for us on the side lines, it can feel so similar. 

It's winter break, largo. Development intensifies, adagio. Begin the intense meetings with all the different departments, lento. Hop on a plane. Adante. Testing begins. Moderato. Testing ends. Allegro. Più! Più! Più! The season really begins. Vivace! More planes. More hotels. More movement. More going, going, going. Everything is in these moments. In these quarters of seconds. Accelerando! The road to the championship. There’s no time to look back, and barely any time to look ahead. Presto! Presto! Presto! We can’t stop now. It’s time to show every ounce of work that got us to the finish line.  Furioso! We have to win. At all costs. And the role I play in all of this? The metronome. All those hours of practice that allow Toto to stand up there as the wonderful conductor, keeping the entire team in line…I was the one keeping the time. Prestissimo! And now, all my work, all of everyone’s work, will be on full display for the world to see when we bring home that trophy. Then, subito. It’s done. Time to prepare the next movement. From the top of measure one. 

It’s the pace perfect for me. It’s the only one that allows me to function. It it were any faster, or any slower, I would collapse under the pressure. At this rate though, there’s no time to think, only time to communicate. And here I was staring at the scoreboard as Lewis coasted to his first win. When had testing been? 2 weeks ago? I had been in such a blur since the Cathal situation. It was easy with the way things move around here. 

“And…that is a very nice way to start the season,” A staff member smirked, turning around and looking at me. I looked down, and fiddled with my fingers. The paddock is a great place to be, but simultaneously you can’t help but wonder if you’re just filling space and wasting time. I picked up my phone, and selected Bono’s name. 

Me: Are you officially too cool for me?

Car Bitch/Bono: You’re in the paddock. Do you expect me to come running to you when there’s a good win? 

Me: Wouldn’t you expect me to do the same for you?

Car Bitch/Bono: Oh, you poor girl. I’m working on the car. You come running this time. 

Poor girl…cute. I sighed and opened the appointment book. Toto was free, so I could run around a little…or I could catch up with him and make sure there was nothing I could do. After all, a first win might mean more meetings. 

Me: Catch up?

Toto: Please save me from this nightmare of a conversation.

I grabbed my things and headed out to look for Toto. Of course, he wasn’t but 100 feet away, standing in an ongoing conversation with the media. I walked quickly over with my appointment book in hand.

“…and of course, we recognize the talent of our drivers,” I heard Toto finish.

“As team principal, do you feel your strategic alignment with on-track deliverables activates a passion ecosystem comparable to your drivers' performance outputs,” the young interviewer began. I was locked in instantly only able to stare at her blankly.“Or is your engagement framework more rooted in the stakeholder-driven momentum cycles cultivated externally by fan-based energy infrastructures?” I tapped Toto’s shoulder as he processed what she just asked, and put the appointment book in front of our face to cover the conversation. He had to bend down what felt like miles to hear what I had to whisper in his ears. A pair of good heels can only do so much…and isn’t exactly paddock appropriate.

“So, the team could grab dinner at Fusions by Tala. I set up a reservation months ago,” I whispered.

“Then why ‘could’? You know best, schatzi.”

“Oh I only said ‘could’ in case you felt like skipping out and losing the multi thousand dollar deposit I put down on your credit card.”

He chuckled, and smirked at me. “My credit card? Why not the company card?”

“You’re a billionaire,” I laughed. This moment was so natural. Nothing about this stood out from the hundreds of other times I had saved Toto from a poorly conducted interview, nor the thousands of times that I covered a private conversation with this very same appointment book that I replace semi-annually. Yet, having his body so close to mine, I felt an ache to let the moment linger. I hate to admit it. It turns my stomach to knots. My whole body was covered in these aches. Each limb reaching for him to make this moment completely inappropriate for both work and occurring directly in front of a camera. I could feel my brain, heart, and stomach all melting away.

“Sorry, could you excuse us?” Toto saved me, peeking up from over the appointment book. In fairness, was it much of a ‘peek’ when he was that much taller than me? The interviewer nodded and her cameraman turned away. Toto and I quickly disappeared from them by wandering down the road.

“Thank you. You are Dutch, so I know your English is leagues better than mine, but was she making any sense at all?” Toto suspiciously looked over his shoulder as he asked this question, almost as if to verify she was indeed even from a legitimate news organization.

“Did that private school education do nothing for you?”

“Oh it was French!”

“Her question was by all technicalities…sound. But I had no clue how to answer it. I think the correct answer would’ve been something like…” I thought. I prepped my best Torger Wolff impression from the depths of my soul and a perfect Austrian accent that I had spent years preparing to accompany it. “Oh, ja! Ze highest passion for zeir verk, ya? Ze vay Lewis grips ze steering wheel, it sets my soul on fire! And Bottas? His mustache stores all of his driving skill, you know. Never let him shave it, bitte!”

“Please never do that again,” Toto groaned.

“It was good, right?”

“Unfortunately.”

~

“C’mon, have a drink,” Cathal complained, handing me a fruity cocktail. I lifted up my sunglasses and saw the cup. A Mai Tai?

“No, thank you,” I sighed, flipping my sunglasses down.

“What the fuck did I do now, Arabella? What could I have done that’s so bad that you can be unhappy sunbathing on a yacht?”

“Not right now, Cathal,” I sighed. “We’re surrounded by models on Lewis Hamilton’s yacht.”

“Well, it's not his yacht…”

“Does it matter who owns the yacht? I don’t think you’re getting my point.”

“Just drink the fucking Mai Tai, Arabella,” He started to walk away. I grabbed his arm and dragged him into the inside of the yacht, looking for the bathroom. I pushed him inside and locked the door. 

“Cathal. Shut the fuck up,” I complained, rubbing the temples of my head.

“So you what, push me into a bathroom?” He whisper-yelled.

“No. What you will not do is embarrass me in front of a Formula 1 driver on my own damn team,” I stuck my finger in front of his face as Cathal struggled to interrupt me. “Feel free to fuck yourself again in front of some other pretty girls, but do not embarrass me. So stop whoring yourself out to those models, and do not throw a fucking Mai Tai at me to get me drunk enough to not notice what the fuck you’re up to. Take any fucking model you want to your hotel room, and fuck them so you can cheat on me while in fucking Monaco, but do not let it be a model on this fucking boat,” I chastised. 

“Sure, sure. Talking to women is now flirting. Whatever you want to think, y’know? I can’t do any good.”

“Oh, shut up. Talking to women. I talk to men all the time without my hands finding their waists, or without staring at their tits. Or…well…their dicks? Whatever. You get the point.”

“Yea, whatever. Whatever makes you feel good. By the way, nice bikini. I’m sure Lewis Hamilton loves it,” Cathal groaned.

“Oh yes. Because I slept with Lewis Hamilton 3 months into us dating. Oh wait, that was you and some 24 year old French woman, wasn’t it? A roadie, I think is what you call them?”

“Well, we weren’t dating yet…”

“That’s the hill you choose to die on right now?”

“I guess so. Y’know what, Arabella. I’m going to head out this bathroom right now and if you decide to chill the fuck out, let me know. I’ll go write a song about yachts and regattas since that’s all I’m apparently allowed to do,” Cathal pushed out of the bathroom door. 

I sat on the edge of the toilet, and stared at the wall. My bikini is cute. And it offers perfect tan lines. Tan lines I am concerned about when Netflix is filming me. Not that I’m going in for an interview or anything crazy, but if I’m hanging out in the background I at least want to look good. I saw a singular screenshot that my sister sent me and my hair was a disaster. One second of fame, and I have to look bad. Sad. 

~

“Welcome to the best restaurant in Bahrain,” I chuckled, as Bono handed me a glass of champagne.

“I caught you cheating on me earlier,” Bono raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, pssh. What are you on about?” I asked. 

“With Toto. I say, come to the car. You go running with Toto. I caught that on Sky.”

“She was with Sky?” I gasped.

“Don’t sound so surprised. They don’t send their best for things they expect to get interrupted by an assistant.”

“Oh, they can’t expect me.”

“You’re right,” Bono smiled. “But I was lying either way. I actually just saw you two chatting it up. I’m jealous.”

“Jealousy does not look good on you,” I sighed. “It’s making you look…old. Or something.”

“And a workplace crush similarly does not look good on you,” Bono winked.

I looked around, and thankfully didn’t see anyone a tad too nosy, nor Toto. “Shut up. Oh my God.”

“Oh, c’mon. Did you think I would just bring that up without checking first? We really are going through a divorce. You don’t even trust me,” He smirked. “Oh, well, that’s not all the reasons for divorce. I mean, look at Susie and Toto. See, there’s nothing to be ashamed of? He’s not even a married man.”

“Shush. Really, shush.”

“See the fun thing is I know something you don’t,” Bono sipped his wine.

“You’re a liar too. Add that to the laundry list of reasons for the divorce.”

“Do you think Toto and I don’t talk? Do you think he doesn’t know?”

“He knows?” I asked, shocked. I suddenly looked over my shoulder again, checking for turning necks and listening ears. None to spot. “He knows? Seriously?”

“Knows what?” He chuckled. “You called me a liar. I was lying. He doesn’t know anything. He’s just as oblivious as you. Especially since you just confirmed this little tidbit without seeing the trap you walked right into..”

“God, you’re annoying. You are really fucking getting on my nerves.”

“Do you want to know my secret or not?” He whispered, leaning in.

“Fine, you ass.”

“He got you the pen!”

“That’s it? You bullied me for no reason?”

“I bullied you for information. It’s way better,” He smiled. “Gosh. I think we can make this marriage work.”

“On some sort of weird quid pro quo thing? You get to bully me and I give you information? There is no pro quo thing there. That’s all quid!” I complained. “Zero quo.”

“Do not say quid pro quo in a work environment,” He laughed. “Christ, Arabella. You need a drink.”

Before I could say anything else, Bono poured his own glass of wine into mine. Afterwards, he gently pushed the glass towards my mouth. “Drink up…shh…sh…drink, drink.”

“Mm. Y’know I am so glad I booked this restaurant,” I smiled as the glass was lowered. “The champagne is way better than Olive Garden.”

“You said you wanted Italian! I used Google! Not my fault it was Texas…it sounded fancy.”

“You’re so lucky it was just lunch for the two of us. The team would not have been impressed with that Tour of Italy.”

“But…you have to admit…it was kind of good.”

“Oh my God, it was so good.”

“It was the bread sticks,” Bono groaned, tilting his head back. “They did make my stomach hurt for like…a month.”

“Because you ate 3 baskets.”

Bono chuckled, and I looked around the party with less intensity this time. A couple shots pre-party meant the agoraphobia panic was not nearly as intense. Look at me…congrats to me.

“Arabella, I have a question for you,” Bono said, sitting down on a bench. He patted the spot next to him.

“Oh, is it about the pen?” I asked, rolling my eyes, and taking the seat next to him. 

“No…but it will likely irritate you as much. Why do you let Cathal bother you so much?”

“Bother me? He is constantly up my ass. I never get a chance to even think about moving on because he is constantly making songs about me.”

“Well, yes. I understand that. And I’ll always stand right behind you as you deal with it…but I always feel like you…” Bono trailed off. “Well, I don’t know. Like you react like…hmm…you’re still in love with him a little bit.”

“No, it’s not that. It's just a constant problem it seems.”

“Sure, of course it is. You just don’t seem to react to it like uh…well tangled headphone cords. You react like a woman scorned. It’s different. It’s the look on your face. And I understand, I know he’s basically psychologically fucking with you at this point, but I don’t know. Everything I know about you says that’s not it.”

“I am still human, Bono.”

“Human has nothing to do with it, and you know it. You know what I’m trying to say,” He complained. He wasn’t wrong. I was pushing around his question.

“Listen, I’m not still in love with him. I have strong feelings for him. Complicated ones that you can say are about 90% negative. But we didn’t break up because we fell out of love with each other or because of some massive problem. We broke up because our paths were diverging rapidly. We simply didn’t want the same things. That’s a harder thing to move on from.”

“Didn’t you?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“C’mon. Like I don’t remember drunk midnight phone calls with you. There were massive problems. He was mean. He didn’t care about your feelings. He treated you like you were a freak. He cheated on you. Several times. He was unforgiving, but always expected you to forgive him preemptively. There were a myriad of problems.”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah…” Bono repeated. He thought for a moment. “I shouldn’t bog you down with this. You’re supposed to be having a great time right now. I will say this though. Cathal will probably start leaving you alone now. If there’s one thing that guy loves, it’s being loved. If the public starts to turn on him, he’ll fight tooth and nail to bring them back. Talking about you is the worst thing for that.”

“You’re right about that. God, he loves a camera.”

“A camera that makes him look pretty at least,” Bono scoffed. 

“I should…I should head back,” I groaned, looking around the crowd.

“Oh, stop it. Enjoy a night for once, Arabella,” Bono complained.

“I would rather buy a bottle of wine or two from the restaurant and drink it in my hotel room while complaining.” Bono raised an eyebrow at me. 

“If there’s two, there better be one saved for me,” he winked.

~

“You’re quite skilled, Miss Lazaar. Do you have a particular field you are interested in?” Lottie asked me. Lottie was the friendly “career path” educator at Souters. Lottie was here to not only help us understand all of our options but guide us to our first jobs. I could not be more thankful either. Lottie is exceptionally intelligent and well connected. She’s worked in just about every industry and kept a rolodex of every single person she’s ever met, emailed, or even just paged. God knows she’ll keep those connections too. Emailing them, sending them letters, taking them to dinners when she was in their cities. Everything. Beyond that, she had a friendly gently wrinkled face, with greying blonde hair that was always cut into a perfect bob. Does she trim her ends every day?

“I would really, really, love to work in Formula 1.”

“Oh…wow,” Lottie answered, scanning through the variety of documents in front of her. “Not many openings there. They keep their assistants until they die.”

“I know…sorry.”

“Is there any reason why?”

I thought about my father blasting classical music as the cars went round and round. I would feel dizzy after a while, but I was so mesmerized. When my parents would fight with one another and my mother would yell phrases in Arabic, I would quietly crawl and restart the record. I’m sure my father knew. No matter how gently I moved and how still I remained, the loud scratch would still blare. He must’ve ignored it by choice. My father never ignored anything we did but I think those fights were different. 

I would then find a comfortable position on the ottoman. I was small enough that laying on the couch made me feel like a giant. It was fun but not relaxing. When I needed to comfort myself, I would find a spot in the center of the huge ottoman, curl up on my side, and embrace feeling my size. Even as a child, I was acutely aware that adulthood was staring me down. I was not under the common childhood perception that adults know everything. As such I wanted to spend every uncomfortable second admiring my small existence as a child. Perhaps obviously, this did not actually give me a good childhood. Rather, it gave me an anxious one. Nonetheless, I would stare at the television and block out every sound except for the tires and the classical music. The dizzy feeling would turn into a high of sorts, and I would lull myself to sleep. I would awake hours later on my bed, again feeling incredibly small in the twijfelaar I would share with my sister until she hit her teens. Then, I got the whole thing. To this day, I still feel uncomfortable on a single bed even by myself. 

“I’m a fan of Formula 1. Not of the drivers, more the cars and teams. The travel too…it makes me so comfortable. I also…just feel like I could be of good use.”

“Well, if there’s anyone I would think who could get a job there, it would be you. You’ve taken to the training amazingly. Have you not considered being the one with the assistant?”

“I’ve not, no,” I answered. Acting as the point of contact is very different from being the contact. It’s not something I would necessarily enjoy. I’m not suited for that.

“You should consider it. But…if you’re dead set on being an executive assistant, let’s see what I can help you find,” She thought. She began to go back and forth from her computer to her papers on her desk. “So, from what I can see here…there’s unfortunately no openings at anything in Formula 1 right now. But…we can get you an ‘in’ here. You previously used to be a personal assistant to a doctor, right?”

“Yes, in Amsterdam.”

“And are you willing to move through the EU? Even to America?” I nodded my head. “Is any continent off the table?”

“Honestly, I couldn't care less.”

“Ha! Love the spirit,” Lottie answered, searching through an Excel file on her computer. “Well, handling the hundreds of clients a doctor has is not much different from handling the tons of contacts a celebrity will have. What about working with…hmm…I’ve got a couple different celebrities here looking for assistants.”

“Umm…well…is there anything else?” I quietly answered.

“So open…but you’re so particular suddenly. What is it, Miss Lazaar?”

“I don’t know if that’s the end of it I like. I’d rather be in the team. In the business aspect of it.”

“Ah…well…I have one opening, but it’s competitive. Tons of assistants are applying, but I’ll write you an amazing recommendation letter. Let’s see, who posted it? Ah…Tom! I know Tom quite well. I used to assist him! I can get you in for an interview by tomorrow.”

“Hold on, Lottie! What is the job?”

“Oh, sorry. Got a little bit ahead of myself. It’s at United Agents. It’s in the UK. It would be assisting an agent, and a good friend of mine. His name is Tom Pham. He’s a sweetheart. And a professional! It’s a great connection to have. Even if you don’t get the job, Tom is the type to pass your name around until you get a job. But you don’t have to rely on that. I’ll still be here.”

“Thank you, yes! That sounds amazing,” I smiled. 

“But if you decide you still want to go to Formula 1, keep your eyes out,” Lottie warned. “Even in a department you couldn’t care less about. It’s all about getting into the field and staying there. Like I said, they hold onto assistants forever. They get promoted and shifted around, but they pretty much always stay somewhere in the field. Whether it’s assisting a driver, or a different team. I mean, they trade assistants more than they trade drivers, and drivers eventually retire. Assistants will be working for 50 something years.”

“Thank you so much, Lottie. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too, Arabella. I mean, sorry-Miss Lazaar. I just like this job. It’s way better than retiring.”

I chuckled and took the page of the notepad where she sketched down the details as she passed it on to me.

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Ooh, can I ask for some headcanons for Hiyoko Saionji, Ibuki Mioda, & Sayaka Maizono (/Sonia Nevermind) My lesbian heart just love love LOVES them ❤️❤️

Sayaka Maizona

Sayaka loved her groupmates, but there was one specific groupmate that she loved a little bit differently than others. That groupmate was you. You were one of the new members, and you were brash, and childish, but that was part of your charm.

Many fans had dubbed you as a tsundere, and Sayaka couldn't agree more, often times teasing you lovingly about it. She just loved how flustered and puffy eyed you got whenever you were embarrassed or teary.

How did Sayaka's feelings develop? Well, it just happened naturally. Being friendly and determined to achieve her goals, when you joined her group, she did not give up on you even if you were rude and often times liked to isolate yourself.

Through her determination, she figured out that you put up that cold front because of personal fears. And soon enough, she learned to read you like a book.

Maybe it was the fact that she was the only one to understand you in such a way made her so obsessive over you. I mean, you had nobody but her, she had to give you all her time, no?

After she got kidnapped and brought in this insane game, she didn't want to hurt anyone, but seeing the video of you being touched by someone else, and kissed forcefully, made her realize that if she didn't get out and save you, you will be forever lost.

She would do anything for you, even kill.

Hiyoko Saionji

Hiyoko always disliked men. She never felt comfortable around them, and hated when men would become her managers. But when you came into her life and started to manage all of her performances, and finances, stuff started to become a little bit better.

The two of you were a little apart in age, but that was alright for her. She'll be an adult in a few months! She didn't mind. But you did. It infuriated Hiyoko how you never reciprocated her advances, even if she made it very clear that she was serious about you.

It was because she looked so childish? She usually didn't hate her body, finding it a good tool to manipulate adults, but in this moment, she truly wished she was more mature to be able to attract you.

Hiyoko always had a spoiled nature and haughty attitude, so it was no surprise that whenever she noticed that you started to get along with someone that was not her, she would start harassing that person.

The only exception was any member of her family, but it didn't mean she wouldn't curse their name in that moment, before she would calm down.

How did the ultimate despair trick Hiyoko into despair? Of course, she promised Hiyoko you and complete ownership over you. Everything else is history, especially now that you are her perfect doll.

Sitting still, looking pretty, and without the ability to leave her anymore.

Ibuki Mioda

Ibuki was a genius of a kind. But with most geniuses, it's hard to realize their beauty, for it's unique and different from what you are used to. But you were different.

You were a loner at her school, usually staying away from most on your own accord, only having one or two friends you occasionally spoke to, but primarily, you spent time alone.

On one of your travels through your old school, you heard music coming from a room and went to check it out.

The music you heard was experimental and not many could appreciate it in it's raw form, but you were in awe. You didn't shy away from telling her that you loved her music. You even asked how you could support her or hear more of her music.

Ibuki always knew that she was a great musician, but with this new adventure into finding a new style for her, it was hard when nobody could appreciate her. But finally, she found someone who did.

You were her first fan. Her first manager. Her first friend who understood her music. And most importantly, you were her first love.

Ibuki didn't hide her feelings for you, and you didn't hide your dislike for committed relationships, be it platonic or romantic. You didn't even consider her a friend on an official level. But that was okay, she was determined to make you a part of her journey.

She was nothing but persistent. Following you around, creating opportunities where you two could be together. And besides, even if she didn't do any of that, her music always brought you back in her arms.

She was content for now. But for how much longer would she be?

[imreallyloveleee]

Where do you think it all went wrong with Riverdale?

honestly, part of me is like, the show's over and nothing but fandom matters. so who cares?

the other part of me loves to complain about Riverdale and will continue to do so until the day I die in the parking lot of Michael's Diner in Montgomeryville, PA at the age of 86. so, long-winded answer under the cut

I'm tempted to say it's the s4 b*rchie kiss. It was so wildly out of character for both Betty and Archie that it's laughable. You know how you can tell when something is just blatantly OOC with no justification? They...don't justify it. They find ways to dance around any interaction that might offer clarification. They mute the reactions of the characters who should be devastated by it. And then they jump ahead 7 years so it's easier to just handwave it away as something that happened a long time ago.

but the thing is, I did keep watching after that. I thought: okay, at least we should get an exes-to-lovers arc out of this, which is one of my favorite tropes. there is no way they would spend 4 seasons developing Bughead as this loving, supportive, communicative, sexy, and almost-unbelievably-compatible couple just to tear them apart and never do anything with that dynamic again. maybe it'll be even sweeter seeing them come back together after so much hurt and longing.

boy was i wrong!!!!!!!!!

so, the episode that actually made me stop watching for good, with the exception of some standalones like The Jughead Paradox and the finale, was the s5 musical. that was when i realized that this team of writers was 100% willing, maybe even eager, to completely drop storylines they themselves had been building over the course of a season - do a 180 with all of the characterization and relationships - and then act as though the buildup they wrote never even happened.

in this case, i'm specifically talking about the Bughead reunion storyline they dropped in s5. i'm not going to pretend like it was a GREAT buildup - and it was mostly on Jughead's side, Betty's character in s5 was basically an emotionless misery bot that had sex sometimes - but it was there. Jughead told Tabitha he had unresolved feelings around Betty. that's followed by an entire episode that lays out Betty & Jug's time jump relationship, and how Jughead still believes she's the one who saves him from himself. they work on a case together, they start opening up to one another. Jughead's so worried about her he can't eat.

and then...you know what happens.

(i'll also note here that there was random bts stuff that strongly indicated the musical ep storyline had a drastic last-minute rewrite: lili tweeted a blue dress, suggesting the song with that line was meant for her character; RAS said cole had to do last-minute recording sessions; supposedly crew members have confirmed this was the case, too. since none of it's 100% confirmed you can take it all with a grain of salt, but i believe it.)

it was so fucking insulting as a viewer to give my time and attention to a show made by people who would not only randomly drop the threads they set up, but torpedo them altogether, and then behave like the fans are the ones somehow at fault for expecting a story that actually follows through on its own emotional and plot beats. we're just shippers, so our opinions are dumb and biased! it's just a tv show, so who cares! get over it!

so, i stopped watching, because i knew they would continue to write without any thought or respect for their characters or their audience, and therefore inevitably write themselves into another corner. and, shocker, i was right. they did it again, whisking everyone away to the 1950s because actually resolving any of the scenarios they set up was ToO hArD. why bother when you could just make every single character Righteously Angry and Incurably Horny all the time, lecture the audience about social issues that have already been mainstream progressive for the last several decades, and call it a "love letter" to your fans?