#and the way it impacts every stage of his life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aly4khq · 1 month ago

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INCIDENTS, INCIDENTS...

characters: xavier, zayne, rafayel, sylus

summary: you are a idol who is known worldwide for your amazing talent and dedication, you loved your group and your career, but at one performance you stumble into a problem when you have an accident on stage.

warnings: described injuries, mention of an 0verdosage in medication, fainting, weird fans, mentions of death (not mc), falling like a silly, 1 pinch (sylus)

wc: written on the separate info!

XAVIER : a hunter's instinct

wc, 1.1K — boyfriend!xavier, falling, injuries, xavier fighting for your right after

xavier was your biggest fan, whenever he would find that any of your merch was on stock again, they'd be sold out because of him in less than an hour. he was always wishing you a good performance, making that you ate well and sleep well the day you were performing.

he was always there, in the front row cheering you on and just admiring how beautiful you looked on stage with the mic in your hand and the lights shining of your face. meanwhile, the fans around him are screaming and yelling, the absolute opposite of him.

now; when you were rehearsing on the stage, you realised that your spot on the rising platform was very loose and unstable. the platform would rather get jambed in the middle, start to drop at random points or sway dramatically which affected your beginning of your dance. it felt like it was missing a few nails, so you reported it. yet you were only given back a, "you'll be alright, it's probably getting used to being stepped on."

you dealt with it, and managed to figure out a way to manoeuvre it so you could rise from under onto the stage above without swaying or falling. but every day it got more worse until i was way too late to get it permantely fixed.

the day had come and fans with their sighs, inspired outfits and light sticks had arrived at the big stadium where your group was performing. xavier was absolutely there first, making sure to give you a few reassuring texts once he got in.

✧: Are U Ready

✧: I can't wait 2 see U on the stage

✧: Drink water and be safe, see U

as soon as the introduction ended, the platform's rose and you began to sing the intro to the first song of the night. many fans sang along whenever you'd turn the mic to them.

as much as xavier loved your amazing skills in dancing, his eyes were focused on that platform your life was apparently in the hands of. it was wobbling like crazy and the side of it was dropping down like there was nothing supporting it anymore. xavier tried to alert you, pointing at the platform whenever you made eye contact but you just had to shrug it off.

whilst another member was singing her part, a member on your right whispered to you, trying to talk to you about it. "walk around it." they said, step over it or all of us stop in front of the platforms." but despite the talking, you couldn't alert the others in time until you had to continue performing.

you and your members walked back due to the steps in your choreography, making your way to the other side of the platform to dance to the other side of the audience on your right and left. everyone was clapping along a s you all strutted down the stage to your places with the mic by your ear.

as soon as your foot met that platform, you heard a clack! and you were going down. the platform snapped, drooling you down to the place where you originated from with a thud. you let out a pained scream from the impact of your body on the harsh material of the platform's floor and it's mechanics.

"ahh!" you took a deep breath before closing your eyes to endure the pain that shot through your body. the metal rods that connected to the top of the platform dug into your skin and scratched the surrounding areas.

your members ran to your platform, trying to each for your arms as you laid there in pain, many backstage crew coming onto the stage. the fans all gasped and stopped cheering after you fell, all of them quietly asking each other what even happened.

but xavier..that man was already there. you opened your eyes again after closing them due to the pain and he was there in the slightly tight space, holding you in his arms before teleporting back up to the stage where the medics were currently heading. the crowd nearly instantly erupting into more gasps and slightly yells, asking if you were okay.

"hey..." xavier pants, "it's me, just breathe—" you began to hiss at the feeling of your body aching, reminding your brain that you were injured. your body tensed weirdly as you held onto xavier's hand. "—hey hey hey, relax, you're okay...you're okay..."

"ow..." you whined as medics surrounded you, opening their large briefcases filled with medical equipment and started to examine you.

the bruises lingered on your poor body; staining your side, hip and inner thigh with a reddish colour which was soon to turn into a deep bruise. the sharp metal parts cut into the skin behind your thigh, small pea sized blood escaping the small scratch.

meanwhile, the directors came out, telling the other members to say their ending speech now whilst you were taken backstage. many fans were upset, leaving out of the door that were assisted by the bodyguards. the whole performance was being rescheduled for another time.

"baby," xavier gently caressed your cheek, turning you face to him as the medics cleaned the cut and bandages up other wounds. "are you sure you don't want to report this?"

with a tired shake of your head, you murmured, "i reported it already, it was just ignored again." he didn't like that at all, gently holding your hand in his whilst he thought about all that happened. "i couldn't even breath for a second when you screamed, fear like that...? it could be deadly."

"i'm sorry xavier," he quickly cut you off with a kiss on your forehead. "don't be sorry, it's alright, it's the people who are in charge who are at fault."

you laughed before the medics helped you get up, helping you to the backstage first aid station where your members were waiting.

"are you okay?!!" one asked, holding your arm as you walked together. you smile at her concern before replying, "i'm alright, i should be fine by tomorrow or the day after—"

xavier took your chin in his index and thumb, turning your head to his direction. you spotted his confused gaze. "are you sure that you want to perform? those bruises could get worse, it's bad for your health for you to be injured and perform."

"i'll be okay xavier, i'll be extra careful." despite the amount of fear xavier felt in his heart for you, he wasn't going to force you to stop performing. he'll just be extra cautious with you, more than normal.

ZAYNE : a doctor's concern

wc, 0.8K — husband!zayne, mentions of an over dosage, fainting

zayne has known about your passion for performance and singing since you were young, he was one of the first people to ever hear your singing and skills in songwriting. and he was now the most popular fan for being spotted nearly everywhere.

he would buy your photo cards and have them on his desk in his office where he could remember those eras inside of his comfort place at work whilst also doing paperwork. he'd always be in the backstage or the seats at the front.

the only reason why he was backstage was because he was your primary care physician and they needed him to make sure that you were in perfect shape and health whenever time would come that you needed to perform. he made sure that your medicine was given to you properly. mostly he would do it himself but today he was busy for the first few hours before your show.

one of the backstage crew were put in charger to put the dosage of medicine into your system, only because they had been proven to have studied medicine once in their lifetime.

you went backstage as normal when the beginning of your concert was near and the member of the crew gave you that dosage of medicine. "thank you," you replied with a smile before walking to the bench and hydrating.

you started to feel a dizzy, your head beginning to throb in the right wide out of nowhere. your eyebrows furrowed we you tried to figure out what to do in this situation. you couldn't call zayne to ask if there was any side effects to the medicine you were given because he wasn't avaliable for that hour, you were reminded when you check your messages. "...what am i supposed to do now??"

❅ : Don't forget your medicine.

❅ : I'll be there in an hour.

❅ : I love you.

despite the weird feeling in your body, you forced yourself to deal with it and get ready to perform.

the introduction came on as your appeared from the starting point, smiling and putting the mic to your lips. you started to sing out your heart; enjoying the moment.

that's when you could hear zayne in the back, asking the backstage crew for something. but that wasn't your concern, you had a job to do.

you danced along with the back up dancers, singing and just messing around with the screaming fans around you. many of them waving around signs and wearing your merch, even those that just dropping a little while ago.

that was until you felt it. a banging pain in your chest which instantly caused you to slow down on the movements, sitting down on the chair you came from with elegance, turing to make it seem like it was apart of the plan despite your face full of fear and pain. the fans around you were yelling out, not realising what was happening right in front of them.

you sang one more verse before you tried to focus. your mind was elsewhere as you started to dissociate, out of this world. "...um, shit..." you grasped onto the chair with fear before your vision got bouquet then went completely black.

tha last thing you heard was a loud thud and people gasping, people running across the stage and that familiar voice: that voice that made your heart relaxed at the sound of it. zayne.

when you woke up, you were in a pristine white environment; white bedcovers and walls, fhe trays and tablets were placed between you and the wall of your bed, the bed centred in the middle of the room. there was an iv beside you which gave you the answers that you needed, you were in the hospital.

with a little whimper, you rose your head to try and remember your reason of even being here. the door opened as zayne, in his work clothes, entered with a tray of food and water. he was already in his work clothes, which indicated that it was the next day and you've already been here for a day or so.

he was soft when talking to you.

"hello, how are you feeling?" his voice was calming, soothing yet there was a little bit of rage underneath that tone. he sat down beside you, "i heard what happened and rush to your aid."

then it clicked, the medicine, you fainting and more. "...oh that," who would know that a simple instruction of medicine could end up risking my life?

now as a reminder, you're only supposed to take a few millilitres before your performance and turns out that that same backstage crew member had seen the 1 as a 10 and give you the completely wrong dosage. a lethal dosage.

"i hope that you realise that i'm never leaving your team responsible of medicine ever again."

RAFAYEL : an artist's sharpness

wc, 1.1K — boyfriend!rafayel, he gets angry, flashing??, crying

rafayel and you were known as the biggest power couple known to man. his famous art exhibition was a form of performance in his eyes, and your famous display of your performances was the best duo ever. he was there for your concerts, just as much as you were there for his art work and interview work.

only this amount rafayel is that he has an AMAZING choice in fashion, his outfits were always fitting and well tailored. this led to him always making sure that your clothes were made nicely as well as your other members and that you weren't being left out from the theme/other clothing.

there were times that this man would fight with your stylist about their clothes that they gave you, leading to him taking over himself and obviously making sure that you were comfortable in those clothes.

now, today was another important day with a concert coming up. this latest album was focused on maturity and professionalism , which was why your outfits were slight revealing but also very teasing in a way. your outfit was adorable and fit in well, but there was one little problem.

whilst practice, your shirt kept falling apart, nearly exposing your whole upper half to your members and the directors around you. whenever you did a particular move in your dance where you'd push your right leg out and roll your chest to the right, the fabric would fall apart and fall off of your body.

you instantly went to the stylists once it became enough 'mistakes', reporting it as it being too loose and interrupting your dancing. but they only replied with, "you're being too aggressive," "maybe it's the dance, not us." and "i can't do anything honey,"

this was becoming an ongoing issue, and no one was taking it into mind properly. no one except rafayel.

𓇼 : wdym ur shirt is falling off

𓇼 : ????

𓇼 : don't worry cutie

𓇼 : i'll fix this.

when your concert started; you had already had doubts about that shirt that you were told to wear. it was once, twice, thrice that you had to correct it and not flash everyone. but now it was way too late to argue about it because the stage was opening up and your members were just about ready.

you all walked onto the stage, getting into position as the other dancers did their thing — dancing and introducing the next song with they famous move. the beginning of the song started and you could see rafayel in the VIP seats, along with his bodyguards, staring at you with awe.

...until he landed his eyes on your shirt. even though he knew about the mistakes that it brought, from one look he could see the problem. the stitching was too loose and the material wasn't good quality for a shirt that type.

halfway through, you thought that your outfit was behaving and it wasn't making you seem weird. there was one move in the dance when all the group members put your hands on your hips and move your chest up and down whilst moving to the side.

it went well, then you heard a big rip! and a cold breeze met your chest. your hand flew to your shirt, catching it just in time to cover your chest with a yelp. you turned around, trying to fix it when the back ripped as well.

luckily, rafayel managed to get one of the bodyguard by the stage to hand you his jacket. you wrapped it around your chest and zipped it up, it fit nicely and also held the old shirt fabric tightly. you continued to dance and perform despite the feeling to cry in your throat.

as soon as the concert finished and you all said your private thank you's, you ran backstage as you saw a familiar figure in the audience rush as well. you were devastated, you felt disgusted and you had humiliated yourself in front of your own fans.

you sat in your design room, sitting at your desk as you found an older shirt to put on. with tears in your eyes, you put the shirt on.

the door opened, "i'm changing!" you yelled, snapping at whoever decided to walk up unannounced. "it's me," you heard rafayel state, shutting the door behind him. he instantly saw how badly you were upset, putting his arms out.

"come here," he beckoned as you followed and hugging his chest, letting yourself cry into his chest. "there there.. he looked devastated seeing you so distressed and sad from your outfit malfunction. so he did what any boyfriend would.

with you in his arms, he left the room and went straight to the directors and stylist with an annoyed gaze.

they were currently in a deep conversation about todays and future concerts, concerning the members and stage crew when the door slammed open with rafayel.

"um...this is a confidential meeting mr rafayel..are you alright?—" "confidential my ass, it wasn't so confidential that your directing skills were shit when my girlfriend was literally humiliated on stage because of you."

he turned to you, "you looked beautiful cutie, dont worry." you let out a smile before covering my face with your hands. rafayel sighed, "what if i wasn't there at that moment? would she have had to continue with her chest exposed? or would she have had to run off stage and risk being scolded by you assholes."

the room was completely silent once rafayel was finished with his rant, no one dared to speak, not when he could easily speak out about this incident to thousands and get them fired.

"what do you say to her?", rafayel spoke nicely, but you instantly went out of your way and dismissed him. "rafayel what?- that's not—"

he put his finger over your mouth and let them speak and in unison they all responded, "we're sorry," rafayel interrupted, "for what?" you tried not to laugh as you mouthed to them to just continue with their meeting. but rafayel's gaze was more intimidating. the main stylist spoke our, "we're sorry for...invalidating your..um..concerns and not being...more keen on making you see comfortable on stage."

"it's alright—" you tried to speak but rafayel spoke, "and you better not do it again—ow!" you slammed his upper arm before excusing yourself and removing him from the room with a slight pull. you were shocked with what he was trying to accomplish.

whilst you were walking back to your room, he noticed your fake annoyed glare, "whatttt?? i was just telling them off." he defended himself, letting you drag him back. "yeah and risking my career, dickhead."

"no, its putting people in their place: i'll always be there to do that for you. don't forget it."

SYLUS : a leader's observation

wc, 0.8K — husband!sylus, mentions of death(not mc, not sylus!), kidn4pping attempt, he carry you, 1 pinch,

sylus was a secretive supporter when it came to your passion in music. he was always there on the sidelines, cheering you on from the VIP section along with luke and kieran who managed to become your two biggest supporters in the world.

he was there whenever you wanted him to be even when he had important things to do, he'd make sure that he is the first person to sit down and the last person to leave (if he's forced too).

lately, there's been a fan sending weird letters to places associating with you. your house, your workplace, any brands that you collabed with and even shops that you were seen constantly entering.

you brought this to the attention of sylus, hoping that he'll help. luckily, he managed to track down the letter and have them banned from your comfort homes.

𓅩: I'll be there tonight.

𓅩: Start whenever you'd like, I'll secure the area.

𓅩: Be safe.

now today was another concert, and you were standing on stage. the introduction performers were doing their thing — waving their flags and gracefully moving to the music of your first song.

as you sat in the middle of the stage, you had a piano in front and a microphone on top. you even singing nicely, hitting ever note that came across. the fans were silent, how you nicely asked them to be. some of them with their phones, recording the beautiful songs you sang.

until a few gasps and confused noises came from the crowd before, all of them focused on someone behind you. after a few seconds of you slowly stopping your singing, they started to speak...then get louder and start yelling.

'over there!' one of them yelled, pointing quickly, 'who is that??!!' you did as told and turned around to see a random man, dressed in all black with his hood down from his jacket. he walked towards you quickly before holding your hand and pulling you slowly. you stood from your seat, trying to understand what was going on.

"hey— wait! security!" you exclaims, suddenly realised what was going on. a random fan or whatever had gotten onto the stage and was trying to take you somewhere without your management knowing. "hello!!"

the security caught on, trying to get onto the stage fast before you were taken. but they were beaten to it.

crimson and black streaks wrapped around the fans body, straggling ghe man up by his chest. the pressure held onto his torso, leaving him to struggle the magic wrap. you escaped before rushing backstage as the security began to lead the people out until they stopped at the sight of sylus walking onto the stage with an annoyed glare.

the people rushed out faster and the stadium was cleared as sounds of gargling and choking came from inside.

you heard a loud burst of disgusting sounds before silence filled the stadium and the next thing you were hearing was sharp footsteps. everyone around you were wondering why someone was basically storming up to the room.

then a tall figure with his hands in his pockets and white locks came into view, you ran to him before hugging him. "sylus! oh my gosh..." he used his right hand to hug you back, wrapping it around your waist before rustling his chin against your hair, turning around with you in his arms.

"we'll be leaving." his deep gloomy voice was enough to make your colleagues agreed. "yes sir!" he sighed agaisnt your head, before his hand went further down your body to behind your knees. with one smooth move, he lifted you onto his shoulder, carrying you gently.

"sylus?" you called out quickly, and he responded by letting out a small hum. "where are you taking me?" with every step, he held into your body tighter.

he nearly felt offended by what you even asked, his other hand coming up to pinch the back of your thighs making you let out a shriek. "where do you think? we're going home."

"....this is not the direction to my home." you hesitantly replied after a beat or two.

you could sense the laugher in the area and then sylus let out a hearty chuckle, "you're adorable sweetie, we're going back home."

home meaning his base, you let out a small gasp of realisation. "oh!"

"yeah, oh."

this took took long for my liking, but anyway.

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signanothername · 6 months ago

Note

Was listening to “The Court Jester” before I thought of something.

Does your version of Nightmare have like, a will of some sort? Like, if Nightmare were to die because if Dream had won against him and like, killed nightmare or nightmare just died cause he old and crusty (/hj), would Killer get his things?? Like his mansion/castle, clothing, throne, prized possessions, etc. .or would Killer just mourn over Nightmare, wander around the castle and like, get nothing but help himself to things inside of it? Finding his secrets and stuff like that?

Interesting question >:)

Ok so i feel like it’s pretty much clear Nightmare does own a lot of things, his castle one of them of course

But I feel like had Nightmare died Killer wouldn’t inherit anything after, cause to inherit something you need to be a family, which Killer isn’t, and tbh, I don’t think Killer would ever care enough to want to inherit Nightmare’s possessions regardless, he certainly wouldn’t care if Nightmare died either

Nightmare’s death would negatively impact Killer, but not in a “Killer would feel sad and mourn Nightmare” kinda way, more like “Killer had been a bit codependent on Nightmare to find purpose that now Nightmare’s dead he doesn’t truly understand what to do with his life” kinda way, but even then, it’s not like Killer truly understood if he had any purpose at all anymore other than to be someone’s killing machine, so i feel like he’d move on to do whatever the fuck he wants anywhere he wants

Killer would simply abandon the castle and go somewhere else, especially with the fact that the one who kept him trapped there no longer exists to continue keeping him there, and it’s not like Killer holds any attachment to it or Nightmare, Killer can’t feel anything most of the time anyway, and even when he does (stage 1) it’s not like he holds Nightmares in high regard (especially with how Nightmare treated him)

Know who’d actually inherit Nightmare’s possessions tho? Dream, and unlike Killer, I can see Dream actually genuinely caring about inherenting every little thing Nightmare ever owned, cause Nightmare’s possessions are the only things left of his now dead brother, Dream would heavily mourn the loss of his brother and I can even see him taking care of Nightmare’s possessions for the rest of his ageless life, making sure the castle is spotless (spring cleaning if you will) he’d take all Nightmare had, from paperwork, to photos, to books, to the crescent golden crown and keep them somewhere safe, making sure they never wear down with time

Dream knows Nightmare actually cares about keeping things prestine and he aims to keep it as prestine as he possibly can (and maybe it’s cause of the crushing guilt weighing him down about how both their lives had been, and how he couldn’t ever fix it)

And who knows, maybe Dream would start healing when he realizes that there’s a tiny part of Nightmare that still cared about him even after his corruption in the process ;)

Part 2 (of sorts)

Part 3 (a lil bit)

Part 4

#anothers art #anothers ask #something new #dreamtale #dream sans #nightmare sans #killer sans

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81folklore · 1 year ago

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dress - VETTEL - part 2

pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)

summary: its known that seb has been married for a few years now despite the public never seeing is wife, its also known that yn is in a committed relationship and has been since she disappeared from public eye. maybe they are more connected than people realise

authors note: part two because i didnt realise how long it had gotten but im allergic to actually writing.. also i apologize for the first part literally just being build-up.. i honestly didnt know about the 30 pic limit so...

authors note 2: i used google translate for the german so i hope its correct, also i dont know if petnames like darling or sunshine are used in germany but i had to use them

authors note 3: i actually hate how this turned out :/ but it was very hard to actually get my thoughts onto the page so this will do! this is part 2 so go read part 1 first!!

part 1 part 3 masterlist

ynupdates

liked by user5, user77, olliebearman and 45,920 others

YN IN THE F1 PADDOCK TODAY, I REPEAT YN IN THE PADDOCK

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user77: sorry i dont follow f1, i thought the races were on sundays?

user5: dont be sorry! today is qualifying and tomorrow is the race!

user5: SHES THERE I CANT STAY CALM

user91: does anyone know who she was with in those photos of her by the track?

user5: sebastian vettel and mick schumacher!

user6: SHE WAS WATCHING QUALIFYING WITH SEB AND MICK?? SEB VETTEL?? AND MICK SCHUMACHER?? OH LORDDD

user12: i thought i would survive.. i lied

ynupdates

liked by user5, user20, user99 and 101,782 others

seems like yn is with redbull at todays race looking as gorgous as ever!

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user5: OH OH OH OH

user5: SHE IS STUNING HOLY

user20: her style recently has been AMAZING

user68: out of every team i think redbull would have been one of my last guesses

user6: THE WAY SHE IS WITH REDBULL AND SPENT QUALIFYING WITH REDBULLS GOLDEN BOY OH I FEEL SICK

user99: i love her so much

user42: at least her team will win

user591: IS SHE WEARING A WEDDING RING??

user618: i think so?? honestly i wouldnt be surprised shes very private and has been with her partner for almost 8 years so no wonder he popped the question

user90: i need her to be at every gp

ynupdates

liked by charles_leclerc, user55, user81 and 234,891 others

yn on stage performing dress during the post-race concert at suzuka! as far as we know it was a complete surprise, she came on to sing dress then left. this is her second time performing it to a live audience!

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user81: WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HEAR DRESS LIVE

user5: charles and seb were both spotted watching her from the side of the stage!

user81: charles taking seb to see his favorite artist..what if i cried

user55: i cant believe i lost dress twice without even knowing i could lose it😭

user8: i hope she had so much fun, ive missed her doing stuff like this :’)

user12: apparently she was laughing and looking off stage at someone throughout, possibly her partner?

user1: SHE AWLAYS LOOKS SO GOOD

user13: so much content this weekend..im going to have major withdrawls

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, mickschumacher and 13,712,847 others

four years ago i was given the pleasure of marrying my best friend

i am unable to really put into words how much meeting you and getting to spend the rest of my life with you has changed my life seb, but i tell you i love you enough daily that i hope you understand

when we first met i had no idea how much you would impact me and the way i think, but you have helped me become the woman i am today and i am forever grateful for that

i often feel unworthy of the life you have given me, the life we have together. i wonder how i got to be the one you love and cherish and i know how lucky i am to be the one you spend your life with

you gave me your heart and i promise to look after it for as long as im here, i promise to keep it safe and i know you will look after mine

danke, dass du mich liebst, danke, dass du dich um mich kümmerst. (thank you for loving me, thank you for taking care of me) Ich verspreche, dich bis zu meinem letzten Atemzug zu lieben. (I promise to love you until my last breath) Ich werde nie aufhören, dich zu lieben, Mein Sonnenschein. (I will never stop loving you, my sunshine)

tagged: sebastianvettel

comments on this post have been limited

sebastianvettel: Danke, dass du dein Herz geöffnet hast und mich dich lieben lässt, mein Schatz (Thank you for opening your heart and letting me love you, my darling)

sebastianvettel

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 8,728,712 others

I won the most important race. It was the race into the heart of the love of my life, yn. I love you.

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yourusername: 🩵🩵🩵

user5: I CANT DO THIS STOP

user12: hes so sweet :(

user18: ive known about them for a total of 2 minutes but i love them already🫡

user6: dress was written about him…

user71: i feel ill wehn will i get posted like this

sebastianvettel

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, landonorris and 10,120,859 others

the sunshine of my life

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yourusername: i love you so much

lewishamilton: very happy for you mate!

user13: THEY LOVE EACHOTHER SO MUCH OH MY GOD😭😭

landonorris: 🥹🥹

user82: DRESS WAS WRITTEN BY HER FOR HIM AND HE WAS PROUD OF IT OH LORD

user5: literally my favorite people in the entire universe🫶

user19: still in shock that theyve been married for four years

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel fanfic #sebastian vettel #★ famous seb #f1 insta au

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m1d-45 · 23 days ago

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hourglass

summary: he's running very late for a very important date !

word count: ~1k

-> warnings: none :3

-> gn reader (you/yours) ++ takes place pre-fontaine !

taglist: @samarill || @sarienic || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @ryuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk

< masterlist >

lyney’s schedule was not one with wide margins. every minute was accounted for, dedicated to an explicit purpose. his shows (preparing, checking the stage, checking props, checking the stage again—sorry, lynette) took a large portion of his time, but there was also his family (checking on freminet, checking on lynette, checking on the rest of the House, checking on freminet again—are you sure you’re alright?) and missions from father (steal this, leave that, don’t be heard, don’t be seen).

honestly, he barely had time to breathe most days. and that was fine! he rarely knew what to do without some problem to fix or task to complete. it was an unfamiliar feeling, and so he often took on extra work whenever he could. as such, he’d developed a bit of a knack for all the odd jobs you could think of: flower arrangements, finding lost things, getting stains out of clothes, cooking, any and everything.

he’d never had a problem with this. his life was crowded, but straightforward. he knew the answer to every problem, and if he didn’t, he knew who did.

this was, of course, before you entered the picture. now, the tasks he sought out felt too heavy to carry. yes, he wanted to help his family, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was only so many times he could show up late before you’d stop trying to invite him places, and that was the last thing he wanted.

you weren’t fatui, but you didn’t mind that he was and father had given him clearance so long as he was “responsible with his loyalties,” which was entirely achievable! what showman couldn’t juggle?

…him, apparently. because between helping lynette find her tea (someone had moved it) and keeping the local wildlife safe from foltz, he’d lost track of time. he still wasn’t used to a block of free time in his schedule, automatically trying to fill it before he could remember that there was a reason for it. and now, he was rushing through the streets of fontaine, fixing his cape as he all but ran.

you were sat outside the cafe in the same chair as usual, and he slows to a regular pace as he approaches to gather what remained of his appearance. you were reading a book, and he felt both proud that you hadn’t forced yourself to sit there plainly and also ashamed of the fact that it was his fault. regardless, he cleared his throat and called your name, sitting across from you and meeting your smile with his own.

your book was a mystery novel, one he easily enough got you talking about with a bit of prompting. judging by the place your bookmark held, you were a good ways through it, likely just before the reveal. just from your summary, he could easily guess the culprit, but what was the point in ruining your fun?

“so, who do you think it is?”

there were few things lyney liked more than seeing the people he cared for happy and in their element. you got to share your theories and he could listen to your voice out of all the bustle in the city, ordering ile flottante to have an excuse to keep quiet. your own tea was growing cold, but he could always get you another. would picking up the tab make up for his tardiness? it probably shouldn’t.

around halfway through your defense of the butler—cleared by his alibi, but still deemed suspicious by the bartender—you stopped, looking somewhere over his shoulder. he didn’t hear anything out of the ordinary..

your hand rose to tap at your face, just at the corner of your lip. “you’ve got icing on you, by the way.”

ah. well, wasn’t that the perfect topping to his evening?

he grabbed a napkin and quickly wiped across the offending cheek, but you shook your head. “no, the other one.”

at least you were smiling? that made his mistake worth it. he was usually a tidy eater—but he also usually didn’t order flottante, since it was usually too sweet for his liking. today, he’d decided to give it a try, and look where that had gotten him…

he told you as such, and you laughed. he liked hearing you laugh. laughter meant happiness, and happiness meant a job well done. maybe he should get it more often?

“are you doing this intentionally?”

he folded the napkin twice, eyes on you. “doing what intentionally?”

“you missed it twice.” oh, archons- “here, just sit still.”

he didn’t have much time to protest before you were taking your napkin in hand, carefully swiping it an inch or so to the side from where he’d guessed. like him, you folded the mess inside, but unlike him you actually had something on yours, a pale gold in the afternoon light. the whole interaction had lasted maybe a second or two, but it stuck in his head for far longer.

you put a lot of trust into him, more than he knew what to do with. people were not typically fond of the fatui, and even less fond of the magician who could snatch their wallets before they could blink (nevermind that he’d had to learn that skill to survive). it was strange that he could make the same mistake over and over and your faith that he would show never wavered.

not that he ever wanted to give you a reason to. he always kept his promises to those he loved.

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hot-astrology · 1 year ago

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The Aqaurius Mind: Pluto in Aquarius, Age of Aqaurius, and 2024

The recent events surrounding Katt Williams have stirred my interest, though this event barely scratches the surface of the cosmic workings. The year 2024 portends a great unraveling, as deciphered through its numerology (8) : the influence of Pluto looms over this year, with its placement in Aquarius.

This year's fixed energies signal transformation (Aquarius and Scorpio) and raw power (Taurus and Leo), with Uranus and Jupiter in Taurus and Pluto in Aquarius. The impact of the fixed signs will be significant and profound.

Saturn's presence in Pisces heralds a great awakening. ;I am reminded of my own natal Saturn in the 12th house, which imbues this area of spirituality with discipline and authenticity.Saturn brings discipline and realness to this area of spirituality. And this is what we will see happening for those who are already tapped in. For those who are not this is another great chance similar to 2020 to awaken.

Turning to Vedic astrology, Saturn is positioned in Aquarius this year. In 2020, this was such a huge alignment the only difference is there won't be a great conjunction. But I could see similar potency already. With certain things being spoken about, and if you haven't heard. It's because the government (Saturn) is trying to hide (pisces) a lot of this information away from society. We are fully in the age of aquarius, and things will only continue to get exposed. And no matter how much certain authorities try to hide or stop it. It won't stop until the FULL truth is revealed. No matter how many people are killed, and etc. More and more will keep popping up until the mission is done.

Now switching to tarot, because this is how I connect a lot of my dots. The 21st card (The world card); This card consists of a lion (leo), an eagle (scorpio), a human (Aqaurius), and a bull (Taurus) We see all of these energies being pulled towards us. The world card is the very last card in the tarot deck and represents completion. Now, I would like to turn this over to venuz because he knows more about the cycles and years and stuff. But, I do, I want to also talk about the 10th card in tarot. This is the wheel of fortune. This card signifies karma, destiny, and fate. The cycle of life. This card also resembles the world card but not in a way where things are ending. It shows how life goes on & on. This card also has The Lion, The Bull, The Human, and The Eagle. The four corners of the world/ The angels of the four directions. We see how that number 4 is so significant. These are cycles, and fixed is the last stage. Beyonce was right, America really does have a problem...... The Seal has been broken. ☺ Now, to you venuz.

Cycles......Yes, cycles! Everything evolves in cycles and changes, it's only so long you can stay in the same scenario or comfort zone without chaos knocking at your door. Aquarius is all about change and revolutionizing its surroundings and its people. This energy is at its boiling point. Every 20 years there's a recurrent cycle of same-aged groups with specific behaviors that change. So, if you add 3 more cycles to that it will be a 4 cycle switch, which every generation would affect the other. When the 80-year mark comes around it is a crucial period. Everything is done in cycles, it doesn't matter what it is. Saturn in Pisces will materialize everything you think of, or focus on. This will also bring about what you have been hiding, and not speaking. Thoughts of your subconscious will be brought to the surface, and some will have to face those fears. For Example, Katt Williams has known all of these lies, secrets, backstabbing, cheating, phony, and false allegations, so it's being materialized. All his thoughts, dreams, and deep-rooted issues about other comedians came out to the forefront without any care. As he spoke and exposed their behaviors in front of millions (mass 11th house) and demanded a change (pluto). This calls on the energy of Pluto in Aquarius.

Pluto in Aquarius loves erratic behavior and unexpected scenarios. Pluto comes with a punch and is at full throttle here. Many people are outspoken now and about change and freedom. Aquarius is all revolutionary and Pluto is a generational planet so change is bound to come. This is just the beginning of this world being destroyed and reconstructed into a new and profound system that isn't in line with these new powerful souls. This makes an 80-year period. 10 more years from now will make 90 years which is energy 9 which will be the completion of a major cycle. 8 is just the transformation period and reconstructing period, everything and everyone who wasn't living in their own essence and misusing their fortune, fame and financial abundance in a non conducive manner will reverse roles and be exposed for their inequality.

Like gorgeous Moon Devi said they're trying to hide what they're up to but Saturn in Pisces is revealing everything they have been hiding. So everyone wakes up to all those lies, takes off the rose-colored glasses, no more fantasy land, and is in a delusional state of mind. Pluto in Aquarius will allow everyone to have a voice and speak up, change what's not right, and stand for something even if you never did your whole life. If you were born in this era or if you were born to still be alive in this era get ready for the showdown. If watched in Living Color, this movie promises to be a captivating experience, delivering the answers to long-standing questions and revealing hidden truths. It has the potential to evoke personal fears, making them tangible and forcing introspection. It's a crucial time for everyone, not just celebrities or elites, to focus on self-healing, purification of the soul, and actualizing personal aspirations. Astrologically, the influence of Aquarius, which rules the 11th house of hopes and aspirations, and Pluto provides the necessary impetus to transform negative situations into positive ones, for oneself and the greater good.

However you envision your world to be, you will get the results in this transit. Imagine yourself as a kid at the art table, and you have a box of crayons, an blank piece of paper. The teacher tells you to draw your new world. How would you create it? Would it consist of peace, prosperity, and love? Then she says," Stand up in front of the class, and explain what your world looks like." You say it out loud in front of the class with conviction and power. Then you close your eyes and watch it manifest right before you, VOILA!!!

From two aqaurius/uranus dominant spirits, ~ Prinz Venuz & Moon Devi

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭

𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝑷𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔: 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐳 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐳 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢

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kylieswift31 · 5 months ago

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Taylor Swift and the Truman show

"Well, for me, there is no difference between a private life and a public life. My life... is my life, is the Truman show."

Tied together with a smile

Taylor is currently at the peak of her career as she's now breaking her own records and reaching a level of fame only seen by the greatest such as the Beatles and Michael Jackson. Yet underneath all that success is a layer of conflict due to the discrepancies between her private and public life. With closer inspection it is clear to see that Taylor has left a trail of breadcrumbs that reveal that she has been queer since the beginning of her career. The ‘love struck and boy crazy’ version we first saw of Taylor was supposed to be a temporary step in her career during the fearless era, but through a series of unfortunate events she has spent the entirety of her career in the closet.

Now with the ending of the rerecords and eras tour in sight, Taylor has begun to reveal the cracks in the facade of her public persona so that we can see who she really is underneath. Her performance of 'delicate' on the eras tour is a visual representation of this process. Throughout the song we slowly see cracks forming in the glass, one at a time until at last there are so many cracks the entire stage shatters into a million tiny little pieces.

But what causes the cracks?

Taylor.

And it’s all inspired by the Truman show…

Daily life

In the mirror

The first time you watch the Truman show, the focus is on Truman and his journey. He lives a normal life in Seahaven with his wife Meryl, has a successful career in finance and spends his free time with his best friend Marlon. There are small cracks in the facade of his picture perfect life from the beginning, but halfway through we reach a turning point as it becomes clear that Truman is also the star of a 24 hour reality TV show that broadcasts his life to the public without his knowledge. Every move he makes is being observed by the outside. And then when you get to the end of the movie you start to realise that not everything you saw was as it seems.

Taylor has several well known Easter eggs that reference the Truman show, but with further investigation we can discover that she also relates to his story on a personal level. In the song 'mirrorball' Taylor explores the theme of wearing a mask that reflects back what the viewer wants or chooses to see. Just like an iceberg, if we stop at the surface level of what we see of Taylor’s personal life, we’ll miss the depth of what lies underneath. Many of her music videos echo Truman's story in a way that leaves her truth hiding in plain sight.

Good neighbours

Truman’s day starts with a moment of quiet reflection as he gazes at himself in the mirror before greeting his neighbours on his way to work. “Good morning! And incase I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!” His iconic catchphrase is repeated each day. Even though Truman’s the only person in Seahaven who isn’t a paid actor, he’s having the same scripted interactions day after day. His life is centred around acting the part, just like everyone else. The only difference is that he’s wearing a mask to hide how he really feels underneath. Truman's day is very reminiscent of the groundhog day trope to highlight how scripted and repetitive his life has become.

Taylor's life in the public is very similar to Truman's now that she can't go anywhere without being recognised. The once unfiltered teen that was vocal on myspace has become selective and restrained with what she shares online after years of having her life picked apart for all to see. The chasm between Taylor's public and private life has grown to the point where removing the pop star mask will impact her career.

Product placement

The Truman show is sustained through the revenue generated from the products advertised on the show. The first time we meet Truman's wife Meryl is when she's showing him the latest gadget she's picked up from the store on her way home from work. This feels subtle at first, but as more products are mentioned throughout the show it becomes more obvious and the advertising feels more akin to a late night shopping channel. We start to see that everything from the decor, wardrobe and food they eat is for sale. Every aspect of Truman's life has become commodified to generate revenue and to keep the show running.

All the little Easter eggs throughout Taylor's 'lover' music video seem like personalised advertisements now that we’ve seen that they advertise memorabilia on the Truman show in a similar way. However, within her career marketing is an integral facet of Taylor's career. "When you realise the rules of the game you're playing and how it will affect you, you got to look at the board and make your strategy. But at the same time, writing songs has never been a strategic element of my career. But I'm not scared to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic."

Hidden in plain sight

It's not obvious at first that Truman and Marlon have found a way to communicate with each other honestly whilst remaining undetected. Truman is often sharing his plans of going to Fiji to get away for a while. However, when he's really planning to leave Truman says "Just between you and me Marlon, I'm going away for a while." This allows the viewer to believe that it's just another wishful thought about going to Fiji, but said in a way that lets Marlon know that he is serious this time. Beer seems to be both another advertisement and a signal to indicate that he's been sent by the director. "It's all true. It's all real. Nothing here is fake. Nothing you see on the show is fake. It's merely controlled." Later on when we're shown that the director is feeding Marlon his lines, it's clear that he has always tried to be as honest as possible with Truman.

Taylor mentions wine frequently through her discography. Perhaps this is to show us that her truth has become so watered down within her lyrics that she lost sight of who she was before. Taylor has changed up pronouns and added hidden meaning to words and phrases mentioned frequently throughout her discography. Through this process she has become incredibly skilled at seamlessly adding connections to multiple muses within a song.

The first crack in the glass

Everything changed

From what we can see, Truman has known from the beginning that he's been the central character within his town to some degree. Truman appears to be fairly content with the life he had created for himself, despite the confinement he felt (he hasn't known any different). This all came to an end when Truman realises that his father is still alive. This changes everything as the first cracks in the facade of his seemingly perfect life become visible.

Intercepted

A very similar experience happens with Taylor in the 'delicate' music video. We can see that this interaction leaves Taylor more aware of those around her. "People often greatly underestimate me on how much I'll inconvenience myself to prove a point…" In her real life there are several events we could attribute to being her motive for change including the sale of her masters (ownership of her first six albums) to investors, a relationship changing or something that affected her reasons for remaining closeted.

Chance of rain

We see Truman sitting at the beach reflecting on how his father drowned when he was a child. As it starts raining he gets up to leave, only to reveal that there's just enough rain to encourage him to get up and go home. We slowly start to see how manufactured these scenarios are. Throughout Truman's week there are planned situations that are designed to test for any changes in his behaviour, like if he's still petrified of the water. These actions reveal just how much pressure they've placed on Truman to prevent him from leaving. It leaves us asking how much free will does he truly have with his choice to stay or go? At this point it feels like the choice has been made for him.

Taylor recreates this rain scene in the 'lavender haze' music video. We see her sitting at the end of the bed with a rain cloud over her head while her lover is asleep. We can infer that Taylor is showing us that she identifies with how isolated Truman was feeling in this moment. Taylor has given up a lot in her personal life for the success of her career, but how much of that was her choice to do so?

Reflecting on the past

Truman goes back home and opens up a trunk full of childhood memories. He's looking at photos of his family while trying to make sense of what he saw with his father still being alive, and the implications of that. This is the beginning of Truman questioning how far those in his life have gone to keep up this lie. If his father is still alive then what else have they lied about?

In the 'cardigan' music video we can see that Taylor is reflecting on her past in a similar way, but this time through playing her piano. Both 'the tortured poets department' album and summation reveal a similar theme of reflection, but with an honest exploration of the agony that comes along with it. "Nostalgia is a mind's trick." This album is a reflection of her career, highlighting the toll it's taken on her personal life along the way.

The one that got away

Love triangles

As Truman pulls out a red cardigan from a plastic bag, we get flashbacks of his high school years. His attention is torn between Sylvia and his current wife, Meryl. During a moment alone with Sylvia they sneak away together, but she appears anxious knowing they don't have much time alone. They share a chaste kiss before Lauren gets dragged away by a man claiming to be her father. She hastily reveals that everything Truman knows about his life is a lie, that it's all done for him and that everyone is watching him. Her father claims that she is just having an episode and reassures Truman by saying that he's taking her to Fiji to receive more help. Sylvia's interaction with Truman is the catalyst for her character being removed from the show. This reveals that even in high school Truman's love interest was planned out for him, despite his attraction to Sylvia.

Taylor wistfully talks about the fictional teenage love triangle during the 'folkmore' set. She describes how James is longing for the one that got away, which seems to contain an element of truth from her past. In 'imgonnagetyouback' she talks about how she won't stop fighting until they're back together again. I tend to lean more museless, with the queer side of Taylor being the one she's fighting for most of all (and with any other muses being secondary to that). If we consider the love triangle from that perspective we can see that the muse she lost was a cherished piece of her history, but the part of herself she lost along the way is the one worth risking everything for to be able to feel whole again.

It's all in the details

Through the development of Sylvia's character we start to see the significance of the colour red. To the viewers at home it is a symbol of heartbreak and loss, and that Truman's attachment to the cardigan is based on his feelings for her. But for Truman we can assume that it is more like a symbol of hope that he might finally be free one day. Other symbols we see her wear include a red seahorse pin (their school mascot) a green bauble bracelet and the 'how's it going to end?' badge. When he reads the badge in the library he quietly admits that he's been wondering that too. This is the earliest insight we witness of Truman not being fulfilled by the life that has been scripted for him.

Many of Taylor's Easter eggs are a reference to the Truman show. These include Sylvia's rose shirt, the eras tour poster, 'karma' door, the song 'how did it end?' and many of her music videos. In the 'lover' music video there's also the bauble earrings, her lover has a seahorse patch on his jacket and the board games are Taylor Swift themed. These all seem like amusing connections until you pick up on the deeper correlations to Truman's story.

Cardigan

After Sylvia left, all Truman is left with is her red cardigan. Sylvia begs Truman to come and find her, but as the flashback ends we find out that Truman didn't follow her to Fiji at the time because his mother got really sick. Instead he settled down and married Meryl, while living with the loss of what could've been with Sylvia. After Truman finishes reminiscing about the past, he slyly reveals that the badge is still pinned onto the cardigan. This reveals that his attachment is not so much to Sylvia now, but to the idea of leaving one day so that he can be free to live his life authentically.

Taylor's song 'cardigan' is one of her most significant references to Truman's story. In the 'cardigan' and 'willow' music video we can see that it is a symbol of the memories she carries from her past and a reminder of what she's left behind along the way. The stars on the cardigan hold a similar sense of hope, just like Truman's pin. "You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin' 'cause I knew you." This imagery evokes the pain of carving into skin to emphasise the heaviness that comes with sitting with the memory of what could have been.

The bar

After Truman's flashback scene we get a glimpse of commentary from a bar as they're watching the show. This juxtaposition reveals how watching the Truman show is an ordinary occurrence during their daily lives, just like many of us tune in to watch the eras tour on a grainy live stream. The 'delicate' music video ends with Taylor walking into a very similar bar to meet up with a secret admirer, but it remains unclear which one is sitting there waiting for her.

Cracks in the facade

The one worth fighting for

Once the nostalgic moment is over we see Truman holding a photo frame of his wife Meryl. It seems like a loving gesture at first, until he turns it around and opens it up to reveal that he's been collecting a collage of facial features in an attempt to recreate a portrait of Sylvia from memory. This contrast between the memory and Truman's reality exposes how much he has sacrificed along the way by staying in Seahaven. Holding onto the cardigan, pin and picture of Sylvia is an act of defiance when everything else in his life has been decided for him.

Taylor left everything behind when she left her old label, including the ownership of her first six albums. She was not given the option of buying them back without having to commit to producing another album for each one she earned back. Unfortunately this is something many in the industry have had to endure. With hindsight we now know that Taylor was able to rerecord her past albums with added vault tracks, but at the cost of reliving her past. Taylor's back tattoo in the 'you need to calm down' music video conveys that the memory of her life's work was the only memento from her past that she was able to take with her.

Glitches

As Truman is driving to work again, his car radio starts glitching and he ends up on a channel that contains the directions everyone else is hearing in preparation for his arrival before work. From our point of view all of these mishaps are new, but there would have been flaws like this in the system a lot longer than that. But if Truman has known he was the star of the show from the beginning, what was the point of the movie? To reveal the truth to us, and the viewers at home, slowly over time. And to give us a chance to understand his point of view as we prepare for his departure.

We have seen plenty of glitches like this occurring in Taylor's performances on the eras tour, and many of these have been intentional (such as the screens glitching and swallowing bugs). This draws our attention to the cracks in her pop star facade, revealing glimpses of the person she is underneath. And just like Truman, she's giving us the opportunity to slowly adjust to the changes she plans to make in the lead up of what's to come.

Breaking down

Truman appears to be overwhelmed as he starts to reveal just how much of the town he lives in is choreographed around him. This is the start of Truman escalating his reactions to create more cracks in the facade, in the hopes that more viewers begin to see the challenges he faces living in the spotlight.

This purposeful increase in revealing more of the inner versions of themselves is exactly what Taylor is portraying during the 'delicate'' performance on the eras tour. Slowly allowing us to see them as normal people behind the larger than life character they had become in the spotlight. The way Taylor begins creating the cracks on purpose allows us to understand that what's to come is purposely being exposed.

Life's a stage

Truman attempts to enter an elevator, only to discover that it's fake. This is a big step towards seeing what's behind the magician's curtain the first time you watch the movie. When you watch it again this is the point where you start to discover how complex the set of Seahaven has become over time to keep the show running. Many elements of the town act as rest stops and exit points for the actors away from Truman's view.

Taylor pushes down the walls of the bedroom during the 'lavender haze' music video, revealing that the relationship had always been a facade to begin with. Interestingly, this is the only music video that we see begin after the clock ticks over to midnight. Just like Cinderella returns to her original state at midnight, so too does Taylor. This correlation to Cinderella's story implies that the lavender haze we see hidden beyond the walls of the bedroom is the most honest version of Taylor underneath everything else. Lavender is heavily used as a subtle reference by queer people, especially lesbians. Koi fish can be seen in all of the 'midnights' music videos except for 'karma'. They are well known for swimming against the stream, something many neurodivergent people experience feeling. Koi fish are often associated with the yin and yang symbol and together they symbolise balance, courage and perseverance, much like the song 'you're on your own kid'.

Turn up the heat

Invisible

As he seeks out his best friend Marlon for help, we learn that Truman feels concerned that he is being followed or set up for something. Marlon appears calm until Truman mentions that his father is still alive. It appears that this detail may not have been disclosed to the public. Truman demonstrates that everyone in the store is so preoccupied with fulfilling their roles that they will ignore him at all costs. This is a very unnatural reaction and wouldn't be a new discovery for Truman.

The bodyguards in the 'delicate' music video react in a similar way, just like the guards at Buckingham palace are trained to stay focused and ignore distractions. On an emotional level, this behaviour feels like no one is interested in you unless you're wearing the mask of who they expect you to be. "The actors were hitting their marks." Many neurodivergent people experience this disparity between who they are on the inside and the curated version they present for others to see. This act of reflecting back what the viewer wants to see is often done out of necessity to remain safe, but leaves the inner and truest version of oneself feeling invisible. "I want you to know I'm a mirrorball. I'll show you every version of yourself tonight." Unfortunately, you have to participate in their performance if you want to be seen, but the version you they see isn't who you truly are on the inside.

Just for you

After an evening together, Truman is left alone when Meryl offers to take his mother home. As the TV is playing in the background we hear how the presenter is incredibly specific when describing the next episode of 'show me the way to go home'. "Where we learn that you don't have to leave home to discover what the world's all about. And that no one is poor, who has friends." This is a form of subliminal messaging telling Truman that he's better off staying home, implying that there's no point trying to leave because they will prevent him every step of the way.

In the 'lavender have' music video Taylor is watching a similar weather station, but when she gets closer she pulls the screen apart to reveal that there's nothing but space and koi fish behind it. This likeness to Truman's story presents an intriguing insight into the obstacles and road blocks Taylor has faced as a queer woman throughout her career. The koi fish behind the screen also highlight Taylor's determination to challenge the status quo and how she has been working towards much needed change within the music industry.

I do not

Truman is flipping through a photo album full of photos of his family and life with Meryl. His mother stresses her desire for grandkids while she's still alive. Truman continues to look through the album after they leave. The final straw for their relationship comes when he reveals that Meryl had her fingers crossed when they got married, implying she was never fully committed from the beginning. Looking through the photo albums seems to be a weekly routine when his mother visits, so we can assume this wasn't the first time Truman's noticed this detail, the only difference is that he's pointing it out now because it's the next step in his plan to leave Seahaven.

Many of Taylor's music videos emphasise the facade she has played into of the life society expects her to maintain. This has become more evident than ever with her current relationship with Travis Kelce. They want her to fulfil the 1950's lifestyle as a happily married wife with two children, a house with a white picket fence, to stay home each day as a housewife and to serve her husband when he gets home from a long day at the office. 'The man' music video highlights the disparity between these expectations and the lifestyle men are usually celebrated for, so that we can understand that this isn't the life she wants for herself.

Undressed

After Truman attempts to confront his wife about the photo, he follows her to work in his pyjamas. She works at the hospital and claimed to be doing a leg amputation from the elevator incident, a story they made up to explain what he saw the day before. When he locates her within the hospital the actors are forced to begin the procedure to keep up appearances.

Taylor was wearing a corset with a pattern very similar to Truman's pyjamas underneath her blue dress recently while out with Travis Kelce and his friends. Everyone in the group was wearing matching pant and shirt sets, with Brittany Mahomes in actual pyjamas. This may have been a hint that Taylor's beginning to escalate the cracks in the facade of her pop star persona.

The failed escape

Predictable

Truman is sitting in his car when Meryl gets home from working at the hospital. When she gets in, he locks her in the car and attempts to leave town. "Blocked at every turn. Beautifully synchronised, don't you agree?" This is the point where he's revealing that he knows how predictable everyone around him has been, pointing out that the same three people keep going past on schedule.

Logically if Taylor knew what the roadblocks were before she left her old record label, she would have known how her opponents would retaliate after she left. "Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll." It seems likely that they were planning to sabotage her once she left, with her first album in particular. If they were predictable enough, Taylor could've had time to plan ahead to mitigate the damage done to her career. This could include holding back on releasing certain songs, which has now lead to the rumours of 'lover' vault tracks.

Just like clockwork

Truman begins to drive around the round about over and over again to highlight that he has figured out that the townspeople move around him like clockwork, but again this isn't new information to Truman. The director's attempts to prevent him from leaving are incredibly predictable and they always have been. Truman would have been able to pick up on this pattern when he was still in high school, if not earlier. "When you're young they assume you know nothing." The benefit of them being this predictable is that Truman could foresee their reactions and blindside them when they least expected it.

Taylor uses many clocks throughout her music videos as easter eggs and to draw our attention to time and dates that might be relevant in the future. One element of interest is the concept of routine and the predictability that comes with that. The arena in 'the hunger games catching fire' seems to be inspired by the Truman show as well. Katniss figured out that there are new threats in each segment that changed on the hour, ending with a lightning strike at noon and midnight. This kind of predictability allows one to plan in advance. Three years perhaps?

Planned to fail

After driving around in circles Truman claims that they're headed to Atlantic City, only to find out that the end of their street is blocked up with traffic. He concedes to going back home after all, just to announce suddenly that he has changed his mind. As Truman doubles back and attempts to leave for the second time, he discovers that the traffic jam had magically cleared up after they left. He was accurate in predicting that his plan to leave would be counteracted by some form of intervention. Truman's actions are forcing the director to reveal his hand, only to call his bluff and get further than the director expected him to. And despite her fear, Meryl is still putting on a performance for the camera here too.

It's a possibility that Taylor set up a similar scenario to unfold with the release of her 'lover' album. The contrast between the aesthetic and themes of the 'reputation' and 'lover' albums could have been done on purpose to blur the lines between the two in an attempt to mitigate the damage done from being sabotaged. Underneath the vindictive theme of 'reputation' was the romantic songs her opponents had been anticipating from the 'lover' album.

The bridge

Truman stalls at the bridge due to his fear of water but forces Meryl to drive across while his eyes are closed, willing to do whatever it takes to leave. "We're over the bridge!" he exclaims when they make it across. As Truman continues to escape, they are still faced with roadblock after roadblock. The escape plan eventually fails when the road is blocked because of a leak at the nuclear plant. They thank the officer for his help but when the officer says "you're welcome, Truman" he runs away from the car in a panic, but is quickly captured and returned home again.

Taylor draws attention to the bridges of her songs at the very beginning of the eras tour because they are the most authentic lyrics in all of her discography. She often begins a song with a very optimistic perspective, only to end with the most brutally honest observations of her experiences in hindsight. Taylor has told us that she tells lies. In 'love story' the lie is that she's singing about being in love with Romeo. When the perspective changes during the bridge, she's being honest when she describes being in love with Juliet and wanting to marry her. In 'lavender haze' we hear how stifling it's become to continue hiding her truth. "The only girl they see is a one night or a wife. I find it dizzying, they're bringin' up my history. But you aren't even listening." If we don't listen to what Taylor is saying during the bridges, we are avoiding her truth.

The turning point

What was once lost

When they return home Truman confronts Meryl, but she calls out for help and Marlon arrives with beer. Meryl leaps into his arms crying as he comforts her, but he's looking at Truman when he says "everything's going to be okay, it's all going to be fine." The next scene cuts to Truman and Marlon sitting at the end of an unfinished bridge together as Truman begins to tell Marlon what he's been through. "Maybe I'm losing my mind, but it feels like the whole world revolves around me somehow." Marlon replies by saying "The last thing that I would ever do is lie to you. I mean, think about it Truman. If everybody is in on it... I'd have to be in on it, too." The screen cuts to the director feeding him the lines but we can also see that Marlon has been as honest as he could be within his role on the show. To placate Truman and encourage him to stay, he is reunited with his father who he hasn’t seen for 22 years. Truman seems apprehensive about the reunion, but Marlon encourages him to go along with it.

In the 'willow' music video Taylor enters a glass display case and starts performing for the crowd of an old fashioned circus. As her lover approaches for the first time they reunite through the glass pane but it feels like the glass was intentional to keep them apart, despite their intentions to be together again. This imagery is echoed over and over again throughout Taylor's music videos and the eras tour. We can interpret this as a visual representation of being closeted in plain sight or as a form of protecting something that's delicate. Judging by the way they all end up shattered in the end, they seem to be foretelling what's still to come.

Test run

Truman was never really planning on leaving the first time because he had planned to fail. There are a few benefits of acting in this way. Firstly, we know that Truman had never crossed the bridge before and his attempt forced the director to play his hand by revealing what obstacles were ahead if this was his exit route. Enacting his bigger plan before seeing what was ahead would mean that he's more likely to fail if he crosses the bridge while under prepared for what is on the other side. Secondly, if everyone has assumed that he has failed, they won't see his bigger plan coming if they believe he's feeling defeated. They placated Truman by reuniting him with his father, but that backfired on them when he escaped when they least expected it.

Taylor mentions that "Every bait and switch was a work of art" in 'mastermind'. I wasn't sure if I was using this term correctly when search results were full of business examples and psychologists were linking it with the act of gaslighting, but the type of bait and switch I was intrigued by is akin to a chess move. This type of move is often referred to as the 'queen sacrifice'. By purposely leaving the queen unguarded, your opponent is lured into the trap, only to be met with a devastating counter attack. This, and the element of a trial run before the big reveal, is what lead me to consider that the 'lover' album may have been used as bait for the sale of her masters. If she alluded to coming out straight away to entice the sale that was going to happen anyway, that obstacle wouldn't get in the way of her bigger plan. (It is not my intention to imply that this theory is true, so this is just a hypothetical option in favour of the bigger picture.) If this was a prelude for a bigger plan, it still would have been extremely devastating when it did happen.

The show must go on

This is the turning point in the movie when we begin to see Truman's life from the directors point of view. "An entire human life recorded on an intricate network of hidden cameras, and broadcast live and unedited 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to an audience around the globe." We start to find out how they had to manufacture ways to keep Truman on the island. His father dying played a big part of that, but to the viewers it's just another plot twist in the show they've been watching for entertainment. They have 5,000 cameras around Seahaven now, but started off with just one before he was born and they've been watching Truman's life unfold ever since. "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented." This is the director's response as to why Truman has never left Seahaven or found out about the show. This contradicts everything we've seen from Truman's point of view. Just because he could leave doesn't mean he could leave freely. How much harder does he have to try before the director will let him go? He goes on to explain that with Meryl's decision to leave the show, a new love interest will be introduced and he has hopes for the first on air conception to occur. It's evident that Truman leaving would derail the directors plans for the show going forward.

Taylor has described how writing a song is like sucking the snake venom out of a bite. Expressing herself creates distance between the heaviness of what she's experienced and I believe this is why she sees herself as the narrator (or director) of her discography at times. During the 'folkmore' set on the eras tour she describes herself as the narrator of the teenage love triangle. It's also common for Taylor to be more than one character at once. At the end of 'the man' music video we discover Taylor is the director, and then it's revealed that Taylor was also the male actor that had been wearing a disguise. This implies that Taylor is James in the love triangle and based on the evolution of her speech, we can infer that as the director she chose Betty in the end. This feels like a clue that we should consider that she has been showing us her version of events from different perspectives all along.

The doll house

Everything on the show is for sale, including their wardrobe, food products and dollhouse style versions of the homes they live in. These elements are jarring after seeing the level of animosity Truman was experiencing with each road block he faced. It feels like they've overstepped a boundary by consuming every detail of Truman's life.

In the 'lover' music video, we first see the lover house is within a snow globe and our first shot of Taylor is through the peephole. The couple dancing throughout the house seem to be sharing a romantic moment, but the entire experience feels voyeuristic. No rooms are off limits as we see them in the bathroom swimming inside of a fish bowl. "Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever?" plays at the same time. It feels like we're asking that of her. It becomes uncomfortable to realise how much we want to have access to every detail of her life.

Back to normal

Headquarters

Not only is Seahaven contained within a dome, the director and his control centre is housed within the moon structure. From the interview with the director we can ascertain that he doesn't usually reveal this much behind the scenes, but the return of Truman's father required some damage control.

The vault in the 'I can see you' music video is reminiscent of the moon shaped structure the director worked out of. The connection between these and the overall theme of the music video reminds me of the scene in 'the hunger games mockingjay' where they rescue Peeta from the capitol, only to find out he was trained to attack Katniss. This scene has an eerily similar asylum vibe like the 'fortnight' music video as well.

The mask

The next morning we go back to Truman in the bathroom again, as if he's just started another regular day. He seems cheerful as he's using a bar of soap to draw an alien outline on the mirror, while at the same time implying that he feels alienated in real life. This facade of normalcy he is presenting after his plan had failed is on purpose to lull the director into a false sense of security. If everyone thinks he has given up and believes he is resigned to staying after all, nobody would see his final escape plan coming.

Just like Taylor showed us with the visuals of the delicate performance on the eras tour, the mask is breakable. Now that we know that Taylor is the one breaking down the facade herself, it becomes harmful to refuse to see Taylor for who she really is underneath the pop star persona. And just like with Truman leaving in the end, Taylor has shown us that she's choosing herself now, regardless of the consequences. So we can either choose to join her, or sit back in defiance until she walks away.

Back to work

As Truman returns to the office it becomes more obvious where all of the cameras have been hidden in plain sight. They're everywhere, including inside his pencil sharpener. But the least obvious camera is the one Truman is wearing, his wedding ring. This came from his father, something he purposely gave to Truman as he was supposedly drowning. He never took it off because it was a reminder of what he had lost at such a young age. Truman was able to escape in the end because he took the ring off and left it behind. They had no way of tracking him if he wasn't wearing it. In hindsight we can see that Meryl's necklace also contained a camera that was used frequently.

If all of the moon and black holes references are a codeword for cameras or surveillance in the Truman show, we can consider that Taylor has used them in her music videos in a similar way. 'The man' music video begins with a similar office scene with a man who is charming and magnetic, but the wink at the camera implies that he's also putting on a performance. At the end of a work call Truman mentions that "life is fragile" after he's introduced to his new love interest. Just like Truman's comment, Taylor has used the word delicate to to describe the fine line between the brittle nature of the facade and how easily it could all fall apart, like what occurs during the 'delicate' performance.

This place is mine

After Meryl left, Truman moved down to the basement. This is the only room in the house that contained anything that was truly personal to Truman with his padlocked chest of mementos and remnants of old hobbies. But on top of all this it was also the room with the least amount of cameras, making it the perfect place to hide.

In the 'lover' music video the only space that is personal to Taylor is the attic, and it’s just like Truman's basement as both rooms are typically used for storage. If you look closely you can see a familiar trunk to the side as she's reminiscing over old pictures on a projector. On the eras tour the only real piece of the lover house is the attic seen throughout the 'folkmore' set, the rest was burnt away on screen and ever since the setlist changed it has been falling over instead. This change reveals that it was a facade all along, similar to how we begin to see behind the scenes half way through the Truman show.

The escape route

The map

Truman's desire to travel to Fiji is heavily featured as Truman's motivation for leaving Seahaven. There's evidence of this throughout the basement, including a large map of the island. Was this really his dream destination? No. Talking about going to Fiji encouraged the director to reveal his endeavours to prevent him from leaving. If Truman was constantly being challenged with his fear of the water, he was also being exposed to potential exit routes and obstacles. Truman's desires to go to Fiji was a facade to masquerade his true intentions of plotting his escape without raising suspicions.

One of Taylor's latest songs explores wanting to escape to 'Florida!' and reflects Truman's dreams of moving to Fiji. Another map Taylor has shown us in her music videos is the man wall. It's seen as a road map for her future rerecords with the end goal of coming out as queer, similar to what Elton John did at the peak of his career. Now that we can see that Truman revealed his dreams to travel as a means of testing his opponent, we can begin to understand that Taylor may have used her attempts to come out as queer in a similar way. If Taylor had expressed her intentions to come out of the closet behind the scenes, she would have been reminded of the challenges she would face if she did so. We see a small portion of this scenario play out with political discussions during the 'Miss Americana' documentary.

Behind the curtain

The director is concerned about Truman being asleep in the basement so Marlon is sent to investigate. When he arrives he finds a decoy in the bed and a tape recorder of Truman snoring. As he searches the rest of the basement, he pulls back the map to reveal what's inside the closet. This is the moment everyone discovers that Truman has escaped and that the map of Fiji was a disguise for his master plan all along.

The man wall is the most fundamental Easter egg for many Swifties, with endless theories on how to decode it. But what if the biggest Easter egg of all is actually set up as a trap to draw our attention in, so that we become so focused on it's significance that we don't notice the bigger picture? The subway wall is made up of small square tiles, with Taylor Swift themed posters and the rerecords written with spray paint over the top to mimic graffiti. But if you look even closer still, you will see that there's also a crack down the middle of the man wall map. This suggests that there's something hidden behind it, just like with Truman's map.

The tunnel

When Marlon opens the closet in the basement, we discover that Truman had dug a hole through the ceiling and this is how he escaped. Marlon climbs up the stepladder and we see his head pop out of the hole in the garden. We could assume Truman began digging this hole after Meryl left because we can see he left behind the same multi tool that she advertised in the beginning, but he was in the middle of digging in the same spot when she came home that day. All we had seen was an awkward shot of Truman from behind as he was working in the garden bed. Truman also purposely left patches of grass unmowed so he had an excuse to be frequently working on the old lawn mower in the basement, something that was quickly replaced once Meryl left.

The ending of the 'delicate' music video is what sparked this deep dive into the Truman show. I discovered that the bar Taylor enters is called the gopher, an animal famous for digging holes underground. This unexpected connection to Truman's method of escape was unbelievable after picking up on many of Taylor's hints towards a departure.

The trap door

If Truman had been digging a tunnel in the garden from the beginning, how did he get away with it? He disguised the hole by filling it with balls and rocks in just the right size that were painted to look like garden ornaments. This is echoed in the scene where Truman is telling Marlon about how he wants to go to Fiji. Marlon asks if Fiji is near Florida, so Truman demonstrates with a golf ball to show that it's practically on the other side of the world. The way Truman is describing it implies that the tunnel is hidden on both sides in a place where the cameras can't find it, and all that's left now is to plan his escape route.

Taylor’s version of Truman’s golf ball is the painted nails aligned with the 2 and 8 on the karma coffee cup, pointing to where her journey through the tunnel starts and finishes. Other ball shaped references include the pearl coloured balls floating around Ice Spice in the 'karma' music video, the golden orbs in the 'willow' music video and the tennis balls in 'the man' music video. When Taylor attempts to leave the glass case in the 'willow' music video, she finds it has been boarded up. She tries to find a way out through the glass, only to reveal that she knew that there was a trap door underneath her feet the entire time. We hear the lyrics "I come back stronger than a 90's trend" at the exact same time Taylor goes down the tunnel. And which trend is she referencing? The Truman show, of course.

Leave everything behind

Cut transmission

Once the director had realised that Truman had really escaped, he was left with no choice but to cut transmission on the live broadcast for the first time since the show began. Panic ensues for the viewers who didn't see this coming, meanwhile we see Sylvia watching from home in anticipation. Ratings for the show are at an all time high as everyone at home waits to find out what happened to Truman.

It's interesting that Taylor drew inspiration from this loading screen for the eras tour poster considering it's a reference to the moment Truman escaped. It draws a very clear parallel to his story, implying that what we're watching on the eras tour is the Taylor version of the Truman show.

Lost at sea

It's unclear how long Truman had after he escaped before the search party started. At first it seemed possible that Marlon left the car door open when he arrived for Truman to escape, but it's more likely he was just in too much of a hurry. It' seems 's likely Truman had some time to escape on his bike undetected. His fear of water meant checking the ocean would be the last place they would think to look for him, which is exactly what happened.

This moment after Taylor entered the bar in the 'delicate' music video reveals a sense of clarity just before she opens up her eyes. The ending of Taylor's story is yet to happen, but from what she's said throughout the tour, she's not planning on slowing down anytime soon.

The note

As Truman sails off we see him pull a note out of his pocket. All he took with him was the collage picture of Sylvia. This symbol of hope for his future was the only thing he took with him. "The only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores."

When Taylor left behind her life's work and started over by herself, she carried a picture of the one that mattered most with her when she left as well. If you look close enough at the man wall, you can see a polaroid shaped outline underneath the black karma letters, as if something that was once there had been taken away. Just like Truman's collage picture, this missing piece represents the secret note from the 'delicate' music video. The one piece of evidence that meant something to them, when so much of their lives were full of half truths and lies. And what's on the polaroid picture? Proof that Taylor is queer... "Like a rainbow with all of it's colours."

It's time to go

Almost drowned

Once they locate Truman as he's escaping on the boat, the director utilises his power to create a storm to derail Truman's attempt to escape. When his first attempts to force Truman to turn back fail, he orders the workers in the control room to hit the boat with the largest wave with to intentionally capsize the boat. They object to risking Truman's life, but the director goes ahead anyway. The wave overturns the boat and Truman almost drowns. As the director escalated his attempts to make Truman stay, it became clear that he would rather let Truman die than watch him leave if he refuses to stay. This highlights how unethical the director's attachment to Truman and the show had become over the years.

In the 'cardigan' music video we see Taylor clinging to her piano in the ocean, just like Truman did with his boat. This shows her determination to fight for her future despite the cost. The trap door Taylor escaped out of in the 'willow' music video is just like the exit points under the stage of the eras tour. Taylor's most iconic exit is after the surprise songs when she dives into the stage. Her character then swims against the current just like Truman did and when she reemerges again it's for the beginning of the 'lavender haze' set.

The getaway boat

Despite the director's attempts, Truman recovers from the storm and sails far enough that his boat crashes into the side of the dome wall. Truman managed to escape Seahaven after a lot of planning, but I think he had some help along the way. If Marlon was aiding Truman's escape plans, he would have been a crucial liaison behind the scenes. Throughout the interview with the director we get a glimpse of Sylvia and find out that her home is full of anti the Truman show propaganda. These include pictures of cast members that could be open to joining their side, with Marlon listed as being their best bet. It's possible the protestors worked together to smuggle Truman's father into Seahaven to encourage Truman to leave. One of the posters shows a young Truman in what appears to be a pizza themed clown costume. Pizza is mentioned a few times by the control centre workers and by the security guards of a car garage. This could be the common factor connecting the protestors helping Truman escape, as well as providing an inconspicuous meet up place to swap information that wouldn't draw attention.

Just like Truman had help, Taylor had a team working together in the 'I can see you' music video. This depicts an alternate view of Truman's escape, with a team breaking in from the outside to rescue Taylor from the vault. Many of the guest appearances in Taylor's music videos are representing the other side of Taylor, more so than any particular muse. Many of the scenes featuring Ice Spice in the 'karma' music video also mimic the ending of the Truman show.

The stairs

Truman found the stairs that lead to the door and is so close to leaving behind the only place he's known. All of this is unfolding because Truman reached a point where his own wellbeing was more important than the character he had been portraying for the audience. Sylvia warned him in the beginning that everyone was watching him. This would have confirmed any suspicions Truman already had and lead to a life of being on high alert knowing he was being monitored at all times.

Both the public and private sides of Taylor have experienced the same restrictions over time, forced to keep a large part of her life hidden from others at all times. The scene with the moon and Saturn implies that an alternative ending to Truman's story is in store for Taylor. The moon was the home of the control centre watching over Truman day and night. Capturing the moon and Saturn in the 'karma' music video suggests that both sides of Taylor have worked together to reclaim the role of director, and are now working together to rewrite their story so that they can reunite and move forward together.

Captive

Finally in a last ditch effort to persuade Truman to stay, the director talks to Truman for the first time. It's clear the director has grown attached to Truman to the point that he doesn't see Truman beyond the character he's crafted over the years, but he only sees the public persona of Truman. The director is pleading for Truman to stay, to let the show continue as it is and claims that he knows Truman better than he knows himself. "You've never had a camera in my head!" is the only thing Truman says in defence. This sentence epitomises everything Truman has experienced living in Seahaven. After all, he was wondering when it was going to end when he was still in school. If the director truly knew what was best for Truman, he would have ended the show years ago.

When Truman told the director that you can't see inside my head, we can assume Taylor is trying to say that we can't see inside her heart. During the 'Me!' music video Brendon Urie opens a heart shaped door that reveals what's inside his heart. This implies that the music video revealed what was in Taylor's heart from the beginning. "When it's like, "me-ee-ee," it's like dancers, cats, gay pride, people in country western boots. I start riding a unicorn, like just everything that makes me me." This is how she describes the music video during the 'Miss Americana' documentary. "And for a fortnight there, we were forever." I believe this is a reference to the fourteen songs on her 'debut' album. Her first and potentially most authentic album is full of songs she wrote before she became famous. And then beginning with 'fearless', Taylor actively added in male muses to her songs to camouflage her queer identity. Unfortunately this was also the beginning of the gap between her public and private life growing apart. Looking back we can see that despite the pain this caused, she never lost hope of reuniting them again.

How did it end?

The final bow

The Truman show challenges our perception of how ethical it is to have such unobstructed access to Truman’s life. We’re left questioning if our entertainment was worth the price he was paying by spending his whole life living in the spotlight. He bows for the audience watching at home and ends with one final “Good morning! And incase I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!” before he turns and walks through the door. The director was left with a look of disgust as he realised Truman had been preforming for the audience all along. Those who had seen the signs watched on with anticipation and those that didn’t were left feeling shocked and confused.

At the end of a theatre performance, the cast will come back on stage one last time to give their final bow of the night as the audience applauds the performance they've just witnessed. We then have to consider that Truman and Taylor's final bow was an acknowledgement of the fact that they had been putting on a performance the entire time. Just like in 'the manuscript', "looking backwards might be the only way to move forward." Going back through Taylor's history and finding the bread crumbs she left along the way will help us understand that the queer version of Taylor had always been there, we just had to know what we were looking for to be able to see it.

The door

As he steps through the door we wait in fervent anticipation to see how Truman's story ends, only to watch as the credits start rolling without an epilogue. This feels frustrating when we had been hoping to see Truman and Sylvia reunite after many years. Instead, this kind of ending is encouraging us to go back to the beginning and reconsider the story through a new lens after learning about how it ended. Each time you rewatch it you can pick up on the deeper layers of the story, seeing more evidence of Truman's discomfort from living an inauthentic life, and how much determination it required to overcome the challenges he faced along the way. Any further explanation would have diluted the magnitude of the moment Truman felt free for the first time in his life. Just being able to walk through the door in the end was the ultimate accomplishment.

The story Taylor has been showing us was never a revelation of her muses, but a slow unravelling of her experience as a famous person who has had very little privacy throughout her life. She's giving us a peak behind the curtain and allowing us to see who she really is beyond the larger than life character we've all built her up to be. And whether we like it or not, she choosing herself now above all else.

The only difference between Taylor and Truman’s story is that Taylor’s not leaving, she’s simply just stepping out of the closet.

Meet me at midnight?

After turning a pumpkin into a carriage and creating a fancy dress to wear, the fairy godmother forewarns Cinderella before she leaves for the ball.

“You must understand, my dear. On the stroke of 12, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before.”

The same is true for Taylor.

No matter how much she accomplishes in the spotlight, she is always going to be the truest version of herself underneath the layers of her pop star persona.

"Dear reader, will you still want me when I'm nothing new?"

When the clock strikes midnight, are you still going to want Taylor when you can finally see who she really is underneath?

Who she has been all along?

"A pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her."

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

🧡

#taylorswift #the eras tour #the truman show #Taylor Swift the Truman show #gaylor #🎃 anon #taylor swift music video analysis #taylor swift eras #meet me at midnight #friends of dorothea

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cabinetduo · 6 months ago

Text

what it is is like, on a meta level there were characters in the dream smp who were played by ccs who didn't have a large enough fanbase or "lore importance" to impact the writers room. like there were characters with specific written roles and there were characters whose arcs and internal conflict weren’t even being considered right. people's inability to separate cc from c also contributed, with cgnfs lore importance correlating w the ccs large audience (and ties to the main antagonist), he never would've been relevant otherwise. cniki was lightning in a bottle bcs she had just enough involvement with the guy's involved in the "main plot" to get eyes on her and what she did with that stage and focus was so captivating her character was able to stand alone with a fanbase of her own

however because of the nature of the dsmp, being able to see every characters individual perspective, the idea of 'side characters' only exists on a kinda narrative level, like for all intents and purposes ctommy was the main character (ignoring that old ass debate), the story was being sort of written with him at the center so thats how he was treated narratively but also on a meta level, many characters arcs were weighted based on how ctommy interacted with them. there were no side characters in the dsmp bcs of the nature of streaming as a medium but in the like, overarching story, ctommy is the mc

ALL OF THIS TO SAY ctubbo exists paradoxically. like technically he's one of the 'main guys' the fandom would focus on and was close enough to garner his own dedicated fanbase but [the thoughtstream that would spur this post] in modern discussions about dsmp nostalgia and character quotes and stuff I've never once seen ctubbos name.

So but but butttttttt on a meta level, narrative level, and TEXTUALLY LIKE IN THE ACTUAL TEXT he is regarded as a side character. like cctubbo gained a large enough fanbase to stand on his own but despite his proximity to the writers room he wasn't very involved in the writing of the "script" however the importance of his character to ctommy made it so that his character was always considered in the script (well characterized or not). with ctommy as the mc and ctubbo as his best friend, in the story of the overall dsmp ctubbo is the sidekick to main main character. now that's all well and good if it was only on a meta/textual level but this dynamic is actually crucial to his arc like actually IN THE TEXT

like in season 2 cdream is the main antagonist with making ctommys life a living hell being his main goal. he meticulously separates them and incites a canyon sized rift in their relationship. then while tubbo is holding up the sky and being [new] lmanburgs youngest acting president. cdream fully befriend him at his lowest with the intention of using him against ctommy. ctubbo was never a person in cdream's eyes. he, like many other characters, goes out of his way to dehumanize ctubbo, viewing him as an extension of ctommy the same way the discs are, something to taunt him with or destroy for a reaction. we see this in the white house fight and disc saga finale. despite going out of his way to gain ctubbos trust and play chess with him everyday, cdream never even saw him as a person (how fucked is that)

Anyway where was I goibg with this..ctubbo had enough ties to the 'main characters' to be tied to the 'main narrative' of the dsmp (in quotes bcs there's nuances to those phrases) but not enough to be allowed to stand alone on a meta level, narrative level, and in the text when regarded by other characters. it isn't until later in the story [thru streamer and tubbling efforts that he kinda gets his own legs? until the story requires otherwise from him and he's dragged along to whatever role the main story needs him to play (which in retrospect led to a lott of mischaraterization huh who knew

#i lost this post somewhere around the halfway point #like i was muttering to myself while pacing my housd and then thought hey maybe i should post that and lost what i was saying halfway thru #anyway add to the discussion as u please #also huge shoutout to sam and ponk fans yall carried despite how underrated ur faves were #smp analysis #c!tubbo #dsmp #and fuck the shitty ccs or whatever #mcyt #dream smp #IGNORE ME IGNORE THIS IM CTAZY

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hotvintagepoll · 6 months ago

Note

At the end of the Dracula poll, will you explain how each of the cast influences the final tone of/ any minor plot changes to the movie?

oh I’m happy to do that right now!

-Jimmy Stewart grounds the movie and is a terrific pick for Jonathan because his career was full of stories of ordinary men set into slowly unraveling, reality-challenging environments that irrevocably change their characters and push them past their limits—there are sketches of what Jonathan goes through already present in It’s A Wonderful Life, Rear Window, even the Thin Man sequel he was in. Jimmy brings the tone of boy next door, Capra-esque hometown normalcy that slowly gets turned upside down as he meets…

-Gloria Holden as the Count! who is pure gothic horror but laced with psychological complexity, wants and needs that push beyond the typical Universal horror aesthetic. She’s a perfect transition into the fantasy side of the story because she can meet Jimmy in his reality world….but chooses not to.

-the brides can’t possibly meet Jimmy in reality! They’re Betty, Lauren and Marilyn! They’re ethereal next level bombshells and the first sign this movie might trend a little camp. I expect their scene to dip into dream sequence imagery, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Vincente Minelli is brought in just to stage their entrance.

-I am hugely embarrassed to say I have not seen enough of Setsuko Hara’s work to tell you how her Mina impacts the tone, though I suspect she brings a quiet, steady, subtle quality that contrasts with Judy Garland’s mannered but sincere Lucy. There is absolutely an unnecessary talent show scene early on that gets Lucy singing in front of a crowd of adoring concertgoers.

-Toshiro Mifune needs no introduction. His Quincey is blindingly sexy and always finds the good lighting in every shot.

-Vincent Price’s Seward and Veidt’s Renfield up the, ahh, bisexual undercurrents of their scenes together into new dimensions. I fear again the movie tips a little into camp here.

-Sidney Poitier’s Holmwood brings us back to grounded reality; his performance is rooted in calm, subtle realism, with only the occasional explosions into grand emotional sweeps. This balances him really well with Judy’s Lucy, where she brings a flighty magical transparency and he brings the depth, intelligence, and calm.

-Mary Philbin suddenly tips the movie into silent film territory and goes a bit avante-garde as the agonized mother. It would be nice to have a shot here where Jonathan realizes, in some way, that he is suddenly soundless as pipe organ music ramps up over the scene and he’s left voiceless: he can only speak again when it’s too late to save her, and the movie switches back to talkie mode.

We haven’t cast some other players yet but this is what I’m seeing so far from the electorate’s choices :D

#asks #dracula casting

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lovesickhughes · 8 months ago

Text

fortnight [ethan edwards x reader]

a/n: hey lovelies !!! AHH this is my first LONG fic and smut piece. please be nice, i am new to writing smut so cut your girl some slack !! i really enjoyed writing this & a big thank you to @homestylehughes for proofreading for me !!! i hope you enjoy and please remember to reblog creators works !! 🫶🏻

summary: i love you, it’s ruining my life

warnings: smut 18+: oral (m&f receiving), fingering, p in v protected sex

word count: 7.9k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

it may be an understatement to some, but you loved the back to school season. with the transition into autumn as the environment's colour palette turned from vibrant greens, to warm browns and yellows, you found yourself content as the pumpkin spice and apple pie scents cascaded through the atmosphere.

walking across the campus as the dried leaves crunched underneath you, you mindlessly took in your surroundings, observing your fellow students and seeing the excitement fall upon their faces as new friendships blossomed, and friendships rekindled after spending the last few months back to where their stories were created.

your headphones were plugged in, allowing you to enter a trance of tranquillity, finding all your worries in the world disappear into an abyss. you were relieved, given your last semester, you were faced with an unkind welcoming that most people would question you for being so dismissive of.

ethan edwards, 5’11 defenseman for the university of michigan’s hockey team. enrolled in the same physiology class last term, the pair of you were assigned partners at the start of the semester for your final examination project, which entitled you to countless hours outside of class to be spent together. and maybe that wasn’t something you would complain about initially.

the close proximity your assignment brought upon you, may have been a blessing in disguise, but neither ethan or you were going to be the ones to admit it. the brunette had caught your eye when he entered the classroom shortly after it had begun, looking out of breath as if he had sprinted to the lecture hall. there was no denying you felt your stomach do a summersault when you found your name printed next to his, looking up and meeting his eyes as you followed from where his finger had pointed. and when you first began the foundational stages of the project, you couldn’t help but acknowledge the flutter you felt in your chest when he’d chuckle at something you said, or got caught gazing into your eyes a second too long for anyone to consider there was no chemistry.

as the project unfolded, and you began scheduling times within the week to work on the requirements, you noticed yourself more frequently checking the day and time of the week, anticipating the moment you would meet the brunette again. you mentally frowned upon yourself, he was just another one of your classmates, you questioned yourself, why was he so different than all the rest?

maybe it was the way he’d wait for you after the class had a quiz or midterm if he finished before you, or would always save you a seat in the classroom, every single class, or even when he copied his notes from the days you missed class from being sick with strep throat.

you had to convince yourself he was just another one of those hockey players. they had that natural charisma, he was used to charming the ladies, society had just instilled that hockey players drew all the attention, and there was just something so intriguing about them.

you had come to realize the impact his hockey commitment had on his academic availability was a bit heavier than you had anticipated, so when he had missed a meetup one week without informing you, he received a lengthy message about punctuality and responsibility, which earned you your favourite drink and dessert as an apology.

you knew hockey players though, you had family immersed in the community and when you began your continuing education, you made a promise to yourself to steer clear of hockey players at all cost. however, that was inevitable, considering UMich had quite the popularity surrounding the NCAA hockey team. you’d hear about the team from your roommates and classmates, about the big win from the night before, or how a player made a stylish play, it’s as though it suffocated you, which led you to think that was the reason ethan left you so entranced by his presence.

you didn’t want to like him, but your heart cried out to you when there was unexpected rain in the weather forecast, and you ended up arriving to the project meeting drenched by mother nature. ethan immediately rushed to you, asking about what had happened and if you were okay. he insisted that you take his navy blue hoodie that had a yellow “M” embroidered into the front, with his number 73 stitched into the arm. much to your dismay, he pushed past your protests, and forced you to change into the warm, dry piece of fabric, that you hated to admit smelt like the best cologne you could ever imagine.

you went home that night thinking about all the encounters you had ensued with ethan, and a tiny seed had planted in your imagination, that maybe he was acting in a way that was more than a group-project partner, more than a friend who simply looked out for you. maybe he was different, there were so many questions that raced through your mind when he appeared in your head, that you considered letting your hockey player-driven guard down.

you assumed it was nothing, but when your roommate had caught you smiling at your phone like a mischievous child, and proceeded to interrogate you at who could possibly be taking away this much of your attention, maybe ethan seemed to be more than a group partner to you, and a liking had sprouted in your heart for the hockey player.

every so often when you would catch his eye in class when the professor was in the depth of the lecture, you would smile to yourself as if one look meant a million more words. ethan was so genuine, in class and out, there was no way he couldn’t be sincere. and when he sent you a message thanking you endlessly for surprising him at his hockey game, the three red hearts that trailed along at the end of the grey text bubble made your heart pound in your chest, wanting to burst.

ethan

y/n!! there’s no way i saw you up in the stands today.. i thought you hated everything hockey?? what changed?

y/n

i was forced against my will. 😐

y/n

i’m kidding, my roommate dragged me out of the dorm and said i needed to experience one of the games, and i guess since i knew someone on the team it made it a bit more exciting to go to

ethan

oh, so when your roommate asks you it’s an immediate yes?

ethan

i’ve been asking you for months to come to one of the games!!!

y/n

allie is much more convincing than you are.. 🤷

ethan

seriously tho, it made my night to see you there. and you even got to see me score!!

y/n

it was pretty cool how you did that one move, and i saw you look up after so i knew i had some sort of part in your celebration after

ethan

hey well what do you say you come to the next game next thursday? i can bring one of my jerseys to our meetup on wednesday for you to wear to the game

ethan

but again, thank you so much for coming to the game y/n. it made my night seeing you there ❤️❤️❤️

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

your semester had come to an end, and ethan and you aced the project, receiving one of the highest grades in the entire class. as a ritual, your fellow students gathered for the end-of-semester party that was held at the hockey team’s shared housing unit. it was only the middle of november when your classes had ended, so you found yourself picking out a black dress that you knew accentuated your body in all the right ways, and would definitely catch the attention of some.

your friends and you entered the house that held the hockey team, being welcomed to the loud, vibrating sound of music playing all over the inside, the smell of sweat from nerves and dancing, and suddenly becoming aware of how sticky your shoes felt against the hardwood floor as you stepped farther in.

your roommate allie had found herself reconnecting with another one of her friends from her classes, while your other friend, taylor had already ventured to find the nearest source of alcohol. you scanned the layout before you, seeing the stairs on the left that would lead to the frat houses’ bedrooms, and to your right was the living room where the furniture was pushed to the perimeter of the room to make a makeshift dance floor, while also giving seating for couples and drunk college students to make out, seeing a couple heavily entranced by each other’s mouths while the girl straddled the guy’s lap, you let out a breath, having this be a reminder of why you hated highschool and college parties.

there was really nothing entertaining about walking in to an occupied bathroom unbeknownst to you because the random strangers were too concerned with where each other’s hands and lips were, or how you had to hyperfixate on the drink in your hand, not knowing who or what could be around you.

you walked down the hallway, sliding between bodies, mumbling an “excuse me” and placing a soft hand on the backs or shoulders of the students you were passing by. you had turned the corner to which revealed the kitchen you had been searching for to mix yourself a drink, but rather than excitement unfolding, you were hit with a wind so cold and frigid, you almost stumbled back on your feet.

right before you was the infamous brunette, ethan edwards, leaning forward towards a short unknown figure, having each of his arms on either side of her body, almost trapping her into his embrace.

you didn’t know why it felt like there was no air to breath anymore, why it felt like your throat was closing up, or why it felt like you were choking on your own throat. you didn’t know why you felt your hands numb or why your stomach dropped rather than somersaulting. you blinked, trying to clear your vision at the sight before you, and you shook your head at yourself, not only because you couldn’t comprehend the sight before you, but also because you knew it didn’t matter that ethan was consumed by the unknown girl. you weren’t talking in that type of way, you weren’t pursuing him, and you most certainly didn’t like him, so why did it matter?

you knew you were in over your head and you felt heat fill in your cheeks in embarrassment at yourself for thinking any of the things ethan had done or said to you were sincere, or that he actually meant any of it.

to him, you were just another girl that was at his feet giving him attention, another stack on his shoulder to feed his ego, another notch on his belt. you knew it was too good to be true. how could he be any different than all the other hockey players, you just hadn’t seen it coming, being blinded by the thought that maybe this one would prove you wrong.

you were ashamed, feeling the ache of your heart, heat rushing through your body and the euphoric feeling spreading to the tips of your fingers as it felt like you dissociated from your own self, watching from a bird’s eye view at what unfolded before you.

you swallow the lump in your throat and blink heavily to avoid any tears spilling from your eyes as you turned to your left to walk around the far side of the kitchen counter. you had found taylor, drink in hand, who was mingling with a girl she had met a few weeks into the semester. you wiped a bright, cheerful expression on your face approaching your blonde friend, who smiled brightly as she opened an arm to you and pulled you into her side.

“y/n! this is chloe, we were just talking about how allie and i had finally convinced you to go to that one hockey game back two weeks ago, she was there, literally right near us and i totally missed her!” taylor exclaimed as she smiled back towards chloe who was leaning against the white kitchen cabinets. you gave her a polite, small smile which she returned, but it was hard to focus with the loud, indistinct voices that echoed throughout the house, and the evident tension in the room as you heard the giggles from the unknown girl below ethan, fighting the urge to look over at the pair.

as they immersed themselves back into their previous conversation, you stood beside the two girls before excusing yourself to prepare a drink. if you were going to have to manage seeing ethan and another random girl mesmerised by his charm, you would need to have some alcohol in your system to make it more tolerable.

you grabbed a red solo cup from the edge of the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen, and reached for the bottle of spiced rum, adding the liquor into your cup a bit over what a normal amount would be for a cocktail. you shrugged to yourself, as you eyed the amount of alcohol entering your cup, before you set the glass down and begin to walk towards the fridge quickly stopping in your tracks when you were reminded by the sight of the obstacle you would have to avoid in order to make your drink less of a concern to if you were going to down it immediately.

the unknown brunette was now sitting on the counter with her legs widened enough for ethan to stand between them, his hand clearly on her waist, gripping her sides which you knew would cause a flutter in the girl’s stomach.

you hesitantly inhale, wanting to make your manoeuver as nonchalant as possible, it would only be easier to forget about ethan being a close distance from you if you didn’t bring attention to yourself, so you emerge towards the fridge, keeping your eyes locked at the metal appliance, and reach to open the right door when a voice stops you in your tracks.

”y/n?” of fucking course. just like everything else with ethan and the timing of how things play out, of course he had to notice you while the unknown girl had her arms draped around his neck. “no way you’re here! what are you doing here?” as he questioned you, you watched with a blank stare as he turned to have his body facing you, and in doing so, let the girl’s arms fall from his shoulders. his eyebrows were raised in surprise and his mouth was held open in excitement, but his response is what shocked you the most, given he seemed to be pretty occupied before. he raised his arms out as if he were to go in for a hug before you shut down his opportunity to brush over what his actions unknowingly did to you.

“well what would a student who just finished her exams be doing at a frat party?” you asked dryly. ethan’s head jolted back quickly in confusion at your rhetorical question, surprised by your shift in demeanour.

“i, uh- well, y’know, i’m just surprised to see you, i didn’t know this was your type of scene,” ethan trailed off, stumbling over his words. you hummed in response, giving him a tight-lipped smile with a small squint of your eyes before reaching into the fridge to grab a can of coke to add to your drink that was waiting for you.

you hummed with a tight lipped smile written on your face, “i’ll see you around ethan,” turning your body away from him and leaving him in a trance.

closing the fridge door and pivoting on your feet to walk back in the direction of where your drink was, you made sure to keep your eyes in a forward stare, knowing any slight aversion of your eyes would cause the tears that had been pooling to spill. you begin to fill your red cup with the soda, keeping your head down as you felt your emotions rush over you. the sight of ethan close to another girl only caused your stomach to tighten in a knot, resulting in you taking a long swig of your drink, tasting the kick of the extra alcohol fall down your throat.

this was going to be a long night.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

a few hours had passed and the drinks had become significantly more easy to finish in a short amount of time, and you had found yourself conversing with a few students you had recognized from your classes from the previous semester, laughing drunkenly over jokes being made and other remarks, and as you gossiped over your professors, each time your drink had emptied, another was placed in your hand without you having to leave where you were seated. needless to say, when you quietly excused yourself to the washroom, having broken your seal about 30 minutes prior, you felt the buzz erupt through your body as you walked to find the nearest bathroom.

your head was spinning lightly, so you balanced a hand on the wall as you tried entering the main floor’s bathroom, only to be blocked by the noises you would only assume would be coming from a frat house’s bathroom, so. eager to release the pressure that was filling your bladder, you wandered back towards the stairs that led to the second floor that displayed all of the bedrooms. following what you hoped to be the right path to the bathroom upstairs, you find yourself leaned up against the wall opposite of the closed door, waiting for vacancy.

taking in your surroundings while you waited, you squinted your eyes to suppress the drunken state you were in and noticed the majority of the doors to the bedrooms were opened, with one at the end on the left being closed. as your gaze lingered down the hallway, you heard the lock of the bathroom unlatch, to which you pushed yourself off of the wall you were leaned against.

and as if your night couldn’t have gotten worse, you stood opposite to the tall, muscular figure, who you wanted no more than to slap across the face for the way he made you feel, whether it was unbeknownst to him or not.

you rolled your eyes as you watched his expression lighten over his face at the sight of you, and you crossed your arms over your chest, waiting impatiently to enter the room you came for initially.

“y/n! there you are! you disappeared after i saw you in the kitchen- you alright? you seemed kind of off when i talked to you,” ethan spoke in excitement, clearly the alcohol was buzzing through his system as it was yours, causing his bubbly, and overly chipper demeanour.

you scoffed at his oblivious remark over your previous encounter, trying to dodge a conversation with him and attempting to sneak past his figure, only to be blocked by his reflex to stop your movement, which caused you to lightly bump into his frame. you couldn’t look him in the eye as he spoke to you, knowing that if you did, you would cave and you would forget the sight of seeing him with another girl, and melt at the knees when you held eye contact with him. it happened every time you were with him. it was as if everything around you disappeared into an abyss when you looked in his brown eyes, nothing else being as important as the way he looked at you. and you hated the way that it was an act as simple as eye contact that made your heart warm, your cheeks fill with heat and butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

ethan reached an arm up to grab onto the side of your arm, causing you to stop your attempt to pass by him, and making you avert your gaze up to where he towered over you, looking down with his infamous soft eyes. you could smell his cologne that you hated because of how much you loved it, and you bit the inside of your lip, stopping yourself from making any impulsive, drunken decisions that you knew you would regret when the alcohol had worn off.

“nothing’s wrong,” you said blankly, peaking around his body towards the empty bathroom that was calling your name. “come on, let me go, i need to pee.” you urged, shrugging your shoulders in defeat with a slight pout forming on your face. ethan had only grinned to himself without any other words being spoken and he pushed you behind him towards the bathroom as he stepped to the side, and you quickly stepped in, shutting the door behind you.

you used the washroom as you needed, but before exiting, you peered at your reflection in the vanity mirror, taking a deep breath to compose yourself as the alcohol slowly took over more of your system, making everything feel a slight bit more distorted than normal. you closed your eyes as you reached for the door handle, knowing there was a fifty-fifty chance that ethan would still be waiting on the other side, and much to your dismay, the odds weren’t in your favour as the one and only brunette hockey player was leaned up against the wall you once were standing against, locked into his phone screen as you watched him scroll mindlessly.

you sneaked past the bathroom door, veering to the side of the wall as you tried to escape another confrontation from ethan, but his awareness overruled as his arm reached out to stop you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you back towards him. his pull had been slightly stronger than it needed, so you stumbled over your feet towards him, steadying yourself by grabbing onto his biceps with both of your hands and looking up at him with an unimpressed look as you gathered yourself. maybe the extra liquor added to your drinks wasn’t the best idea after all.

“so can we talk? or are you gonna keep acting like you’re a criminal trying to escape the police,” ethan lightly chuckled, again looking down at you with the smile that you had grown to adore too much.

“i’m not avoiding you, ethan,” you argued.

ethan hummed, “i’m pretty sure you are,” he said quieter as he took a step closer to you, “just because the semester’s over, doesn’t mean we have to be.” he said, and you almost choked on your breath. your mouth had slightly opened in shock, taken aback by the words that had just fallen from his tongue.

“w-what do you mean we don’t have to be over?” you awkwardly chuckled, stumbling over your words. maybe it was the alcohol that was clouding your judgement, but you truly did not understand ethan’s intentions.

“all i’m saying is that just because the class we had is over, doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends.” he said with a shrug of his shoulders and once again, the cold air of realization hit you like a brick wall, as you processed his words. you knew you didn’t hear him correctly, you knew there was a misunderstanding, and you knew you were in over your head, yet again. you mentally frowned upon yourself at how stupid you felt in the situation, knowing you probably looked like a fool standing opposite to ethan.

“right, yeah.” you trailed, looking down towards your feet as you tried to compose yourself, knowing if you dwelled on the current situation, tears would begin to form. “look- i gotta go find my friends, we’re probably gonna head out soon anyway, i- uh, it was nice seeing you i guess. we can keep in touch too, but i know our schedules are both pretty busy.” you said looking back up at the brunette, you gave him a soft, sad smile as you tried to make it seem like your mind wasn’t racing and the utter sadness at the situation wasn’t beginning to fill your body. you turned to head back down the stairs to where the party was still going, but yet again, ethan stopped you in your tracks.

“y/n,” he repeated more sternly, and you hated how your heart ached in your chest, how you wanted nothing more than to scream at him that you were falling for him, but in doing so you hated how it made you feel, you hated how you wanted to kiss him like the world was ending and there was no tomorrow, but if you did, he’d probably turn away. all because of the stupid project that had to be such a large portion of your grade, you had slowly fallen for the boy who occupied every wednesday of your semester. “follow me,” was all ethan said as he took your hand in his, and you felt the texture of his skin beneath your own, how his hands were somewhat dry, but not overly coarse, and how they were warm and encapsulated your own.

you let ethan guide you down the hallway, as you trailed behind his large figure like you were a lost puppy. he turned the corner into one of the opened bedroom doors, and your eyes widened in shock at what you assumed entering his room meant. you had been in his room before, one of the times you had planned to work on the project and the library had been closed due to maintenance, ethan offered to have the meetup be held at his place. that was the reason you had been familiar with the layout of the house when arriving at the current party.

panic settled in as you watch him reach behind you to close the door, and your eyes followed as he walked towards his desk, silently reaching into the third drawer on the desk and pulling out what looked to be a picture. your brows pulled together in confusion as he turned back to where you stood, close to the door with your hands fiddling with each other as you anticipated what he had to show.

he reached out to pass you the print, and you met his eyes again for reassurance that it was okay to take it from him, to which he nodded in encouragement. you took it in your hands, and looked down only to see that it had been a picture of you in his team hoodie, the day that you had been rained on, with your hair wet, makeup slightly smudged. you stood opposite of him, with the hoodie engulfing your frame making you look much smaller compared to ethan’s larger frame. you smiled at the picture, but were only even further confused as to why he had it, so as you hand it back to ethan, you look up in confusion, only to see a small blush forming on his cheeks.

“i know it’s kinda creepy to just have this picture of you, but you looked so cute in my hoodie and that day we had together, was probably one of the best days i’ve had all year, maybe even the best day since i first got here.” ethan shyly explained, making your gaze soften as you watched him explain.

“yeah, i remember that day, it was one of my favourites.” you responded softly, smiling to yourself as you reminisced. but before you grew too distracted by his romantic act, you came quickly to remember how you felt when you first arrived, conflicting your feelings as you stood in ethan’s room. there was a silence that was held between you two, and you didn’t know what to say, and you knew it would probably be best if you didn’t open your mouth to speak, knowing you would most likely regret what words formed. ethan placed the picture back on his desk, before placing himself on the edge of his bed, clasping his hands together, and you stayed put where you were standing, watching him before you.

“come,” ethan gestured to the mattress beneath him, patting the spot next to him for you to sit.

“i don’t think that’s a good idea.” you responded quickly, allowing your blunt and cold facade to take over yet again. “really, i should probably go find my friends, they're gonna think i got kidnapped or something.” you awkwardly laughed. taking a step backwards closer to the door as you tried to escape,

“oh, come on,” ethan whined, throwing his head back in protest. “don’t make me come over there and make you sit on my bed.” he warned. you rolled your eyes yet again in annoyance at how easily convincing he was, and you took the few steps forward to reach his bed, and ethan scooted himself over to the side to give you more room.

“what’s up?” ethan asked quietly, the close proximity between the two of you becoming more evident as you were now sitting shoulder to shoulder in his bedroom. it intensified every thought and feeling you had run through your body. you noticed his eyes were hooded from the alcohol, his hair looked freshly washed and you could see his silver chain slightly peeking out from the collar of his crewneck hoodie. you took in his appearance slowly, before meeting his gaze that had already landed on you, looking into your eyes with a soft, alluring gaze.

“i said nothing’s wrong, ethan.” you exclaimed, letting out a breath as you grew more annoyed with his persistence. you didn’t want to let your guard down, you couldn’t. not while you were in his room, drunk, at a party.

“that’s bullshit, come on, you’ve been off since i first saw you.” ethan countered, and you then felt the weight of his hand being placed on the middle of your thigh, immediately making your breath shift into slower, more heated breaths. you looked down at the hand on your exposed leg, becoming aware that the fabric of your black dress had slowly rode up your thighs. you then met his gaze, again, as he was still maintaining eye contact with you.

“ethan,” you pushed, not wanting to continue the conversation any longer than it had already been happening, you sighed and began to stand up to leave, but you were prevented from doing so as his hand pushed against your thigh to keep you placed on his bed.

“y/n,” was all he responded.

your eyes darted to the side, contemplating whether or not you would cave, before letting go another breath, “okay, look-” you began before you stopped yourself, wanting to find the correct words to describe your feelings. if you had finally decided to have the conversation you had envisioned every night before going to bed, you wanted it to be relatively similar to the way you had planned it to be. although, you didn’t expect it to be happening at the actual moment it now was.

“fuck,” you mumbled under your breath, looking down into your lap, but was quickly guided to continue looking into ethan’s eyes by his hand that had slipped under your chin and tilted your head up. “i’m confused.” you blurted, no other words coming to mind as you looked at ethan with an expression of confusion and distraught written over your face.

ethan paused before responding, “why?”

“because of this!” you gestured between your bodies that were inches away from each other. “i come to this party against my will, because we both know i hate this type of scene, and low and behold, i come to find you invested in some random girl i’ve never seen before, with her hands all over you, and i can only assume what words were being exchanged.” you said in a single breath, your chest heaving as you explained your dilemma to the brunette in front of you.

ethan went to his open his mouth to justify his actions, but you beat him to it, “no, you don’t get to say anything,” you pointed with your index finger, “and then when all i need to do is pee, god forbid i run into you and you end up showing me a picture you’ve been hiding in your drawer and you look at me in a way that makes me feel so weird!” you rushed, your brows furrowing in your own confusion as you spoke.

“y/n, i’m lost, what are you trying to say?” ethan said softly, looking at you with his own brows stitched together in confusion.

this was it, this was the moment you’d confess your secret to the man who had occupied your brain 24/7. the one you thought of immediately when you did well on an assignment, and the one you would stand in the freezing arena every game to watch him play. the one you pictured yourself with when your friends and you gushed over the desire for a relationship. the one you searched for in a crowd of people at a school event, and the one you wanted nothing more than to be with.

“i love you, okay?” you bursted, slightly raising your voice with your face strained, “and it’s ruining my life.” you said as you ran a hand over your face to wipe away the hair that had obstructed your view, “and it killed me to find you here with another girl, and having to imagine myself going onto the next semester and not having you in my life.”

your chest continued to heave up and down, out of breath as you admitted to your internal conflict, and you searched in ethan’s eyes for a response. he was silent for a moment, his eyes darting from side to side as he collected his thoughts. you inched forward on the bed as a way to encourage him to say anything, but the longer the silence settled, the more you began to regret your sudden confession. as you went to place your head in your hands with your elbows resting on your knees, ethan’s mouth opened.

“are you drunk?” was all he asked, but given the amount of time you had spent in ethan’s room, and your body trying to compose yourself, you hadn’t felt the effects as strongly as before.

you shook your head, “if i am, drunk words are sober thoughts.” you chuckled to yourself.

“in that case, are drunk actions, sober thoughts?” he asked quieter, and you tilted your head in confusion, not being given a moment to process his words before you felt his hand reach for your jaw and lightly pull you in to meet his lips.

your mouths connected, and you inhaled sharply at the contact, melting into his touch as you adjusted yourself to face more towards his figure, you reached your arm to rest on his shoulder. ethan held your cheek in his hand, with his fingers reaching the nape of your neck to pull you in closer, and your body went weak, quickly to be supported by ethan’s free arm reaching around your back.

he pulled away, lips swollen from the contact, and his chest rising and falling rapidly. you looked up at his with doe eyes, wetting your lips without saying any words being said, and he reached back down to connect your lips again, his arm around your back sliding to your side to take hold on your waist. he pulled your body closer to him as a wordless action to adjust your position, and with your eyes closed and lips still mangled, ethan pulled you farther on the bed, and leaned your figure back to where he now hovered over your body with your back against the mattress.

he detached his lips again, breathing heavily with his chain dangling over your face, you stared up at the sight before you, “should we really be doing this?” you questioned softly, gripping his forearm with your hand.

ethan sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, “i’ve been wanting this for a while, and trust me this is not how i envisioned this happening, but i can’t hold out any longer,” he confessed, and before you can say anything in response, he delved back in, placing a kiss on your jaw near your ear, the sound of his wet mouth suctioning your skin made your entire body erupt in euphoria, and caused you to squirm underneath him. he trailed his wet, sensual kisses along your jawline as your hand found itself intertwined with his soft, brunette hair. he continued kissing down your jaw onto your neck, sucking slightly on your skin, as his arm held the weight of his body over yours. he looked up at you, with pleading eyes to adjust the strap of your dress, and without words you allowed him to move the fabric to the side, but in your own confidence, you sat up and lowered the dress to your waist, exposing your black lace bra you had worn underneath.

ethan took in the view, sighing in delight at your figure before him, and he leaned back down to continue his mission to cover every inch of your skin with wet, slow kisses. your hands found themselves interlocking behind ethan’s neck as he kissed your collarbone, and he looked up to your face with his eyes only, silently asking for permission to remove the piece of clothing that restrained your breasts. you nodded and lifted your back to allow for his hand to reach beneath you and unclasp the lingerie, freeing it from your body as he pulled it off of you. immediately his hands fell to your chest, cupping his large hands over your front and kneading your breasts as if they were dough.

your head fell back in pleasure at the contact of his mouth to your nipple, as he curled his tongue around the sensitive end. your hand tugged at his hair, arching your back in desperation for more.

ethan looked up at you yet again, and you reached forward, guiding ethan to stand on his knees, grabbing the end of his crewneck hoodie and pulling the fabric upward over his head, revealing his toned, broad figure. you mentally gawked at the sight and looked up at him as he towered over you, with your face being perfectly aligned with his waist.

you held eye contact with him as you reached for the waistband of his pants, noticing the growing bulge that began to protrude against his pants. you slipped a finger into the space between his body and the pants, gliding it along his v-line before tugging at his bottoms to expose his lower half. he had quickly stood up off of his bed to remove his pants, and while doing so, you shimmied out of your black dress, letting the clothing fall to the floor beside his bed, leaving you in nothing but the matching underwear to your top. ethan then climbed back on the bed, on his knees like prior, and you took in the sight of his bulge beneath his underwear, constraining the fabric and tauntingly wanting to be freed.

you looked up at ethan who watched your every move intensely, and then averted your gaze to the sight before you. you slowly grabbed the waistband of his boxers on each hip and pulled the fabric down, releasing his cock to be free as it sprung up, throbbing in anticipation to find a release.

your mouth practically salivated at the sight, and you instantly reached a hand to wrap around the base of his cock, feeling the warmth beneath your hand. stroking your hand twice up and down the length of ethan, you heard him groan above you, as he reached a hand to steady himself on your shoulder.

you adjust yourself beneath him, looking up to reach his eyes with your own and his bottom lip was tucked under his top row of teeth as he watched you take his cock in your mouth. you slowly wet his length and pushed your mouth farther down and closer to his stomach, until your eyes began to water, feeling the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat.

you pulled back slightly and quickened your pace as you began to bob your head along his length, ethan throwing his head back and gripping the back of your head softly in response. he held you there as he attempted to hold himself together, fighting the urge to release at that moment.

“fuck, y/n,” he breathed, holding your head closer to the rest of his body for a moment hearing the noises of your mouth taking every inch of his cock, as you slightly gagged on his member. you release him from your mouth with a small ‘pop’, and grin at ethan’s flushed face. he began to compose himself before he pushed you backwards until your head met the pillows of his bed and his face was inches away from your stomach. he maintained eye contact, which in response evoke an incline of your breath, chest heaving up and down as you grew impatient for ethan to make some sort of move to aid your frustration.

ethan looked at you with concerned eyes, in a way to silently ask you if he was allowed to continue and you eagerly nodded your head, your hips buckling upwards anticipating any sort of stimulation.

ethan flip the waistband of your underwear under his finger and dragged it over your hips and swiftly pulled the fabric off of your legs, tossing the piece to the side and focusing his attention back at the sight before him. his hands immediately found the inner space of your thighs, lightly rubbing the soft skin with his calloused hands, his tongue running over his bottom lip in hunger and desperation to delve into the lust.

“god, you’re perfect, y/n,” ethan mumbled, but before any other words were exchanged, he pushed your legs softly to the side, exposing your core and his head leaned into your body, immersing himself in you and suffocating himself with the taste of you. you moaned at the contact, your hips caving at the contact. ethan continued to stimulate your clit, his tongue lapping over the skin between your legs. your hand found his hair, tugging the brown locks in pleasure, and biting your lip to restrain yourself from making too loud of noise.

ethan moaned against your body, sending vibrations through your body, almost sending you over the edge, earning a whimper to escape from your mouth.

“oh my god, ethan,” you whined through gritted teeth as ethan held your legs down to the side with his arms and your hips bucking at the pleasure. he pulled away, the missing feeling making you crave more to put you over the edge, your legs bent up to the rest of your body as you watched ethan hold eye contact with you, reaching to his side table drawer and pulling out a condom.

you watched before you as he slipped it on, his body coming to hover on top of yours and aligning his cock with your entrance. your hands found themselves gripping onto his shoulder, and you bit your lip as ethan began to lower himself into you, the pressure causing your eyes to flutter shut. ethan went slow, no words being exchanged other than the wordless eye contact that was held between ethan and you, and when he bottomed you out, your mouth fell agape, causing ethan’s own mouth to fall open in pleasure.

his movements began slow, thrusting in and out, watching as your body responded in sync to his moments, and as it became more comfortable, ethan earning a nod from you to quicken his pace, your mouth hung open, small whimpers escaping as each thrust was complete.

ethan’s one hand remained by your head, lowering himself onto his elbow to inch closer to your face, while his other hand was placed on your hip, tightly gripping your skin as he continued to thrust harder and deeper into you.

“fuck, ethan, yes,” you moaned as he hit the right spot to cause an eruption of pleasure through your entire body, you felt the knot in your stomach begin to tighten when his hand on your hip reached between your legs to rub circles on you clit, and your moans sounded in sync with his thrusts, the sounds of two bodies erupting in pleasure filling the room.

“god, you’re so tight, y/n,” ethan moaned in response, his eyes squinting shut in concentration as he held himself together, your hands pulled at his neck, bringing his face to yours and your lips meet his, tightly interlocked as his thrusts still moved your body beneath him.

you could tell ethan was reaching his own climax, his determined thrusts becoming more and more sloppy, and his breath shaking against your lips. his fingers kept rubbing on circles on your clit, determined to bring you to orgasm, and when you adjusted your hips slightly, allowing for ethan to hit a deeper, more pleasurable spot in your body, the noises that came out of your mouth in response caused ethan to release into the condom, his own moans filling your mouth as his thrusts came to a halt and you felt the pressure hit your walls as he filled the condom with his cum. determined to bring you to your own climax, ethan’s fingers still worked their efforts on your clit, bringing his free hand to your mouth, trailing over your bottom lip, awaiting entrance.

his middle finger slipped into your mouth, and instinctively you sucked on the member, watching ethan look at you in amusement. when his finger was lubricated to his liking, he reached to your sex, running his finger along your folds to collect the wetness before pushing his finger in, immediately curling his finger towards him.

with both hands in action to put you over the edge, you raised your arms above your head in pleasure, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten even closer to being released.

“yes, ethan, just like that,” you moaned when ethan fastened his pace.

he hummed in response, “yeah? is that what you want, babe? you want to cum for me?” ethan asked softly, holding eye contact as his fingers worked magic against you. your eyes closed in pleasure, your head slightly tilting back, and when ethan slipped a second finger into your sex, and pulled his fingers in and out while maintaining curling inside, a loud moan escaped your mouth as you felt the knot come undone in your stomach, your legs shaking lightly as you rode out your orgasm.

your breath uneven, a grin erupted on both of yours and ethan’s faces, as he reached for his boxers and your matching set of undergarments, helping you put on the pieces of fabric, and quickly slipping under his covers. you follow suit, and find yourself curling up against his figure, your head resting on his chest, listening to his heightened heart rate.

ethan pressed his lips against the top of your head, “you really meant all those words from before?” he questioned, earning a giddy smile from you as you looked up to meet his gaze.

“and a thousand more.”

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