#and the unused ones i just reblogged
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thinks about sun fnaf too hard and dies of a heart attack
and no i dont mean this is a crush way of getting butterflies, i mean i'm so autistic about him my heart rate increases and i fucking explode.
#im too happy#i listen to his voiclines in my freetime#(regular activity)#and the unused ones i just reblogged#oohgh.#im fully enamored by him and i cant explain it#char speaks#dca#sun fnaf
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trying to not complain about the discrepancy between how much content fictional women and poc have vs the white dudes in every fucking fandom im in, because no one owes me fanart/fic and i can make shit myself, but holy fuck can any of you name a woman?
#despite this mentioning women specifically its actually inspired by the ao3 tag for lucy and the guy who waterboarded her having 500+ fics#while her with her canon black love interest has 36.....#yanno. in a way its still 'name a woman' because none of these writers see her as a full character with thoughts and feelings that#may not align with their own. shes a named y/n to 80% of the fandom instead of. oh i dunno. an interesting canon character#ugh#sorry that you wouldnt wanna kiss max but lucy is built different + dont care + she didnt ask + L#(unfortunately i am the one getting ratioed because lesbians with correct opinions suffer more than jesus)#AND ANOTHER THING!#her tag is literally (i fucking counted) over half just shipping content with the white guy. unusable without a blacklist i stg#its not enough that she has so much less content than him. she ALSO has to share half of hers as primarily focused on him#UGH.#im allowed to bitch a full novel in the tags because its my fucking post and you can reblog it without this commentary#im not even using full names so it wont show up in their tags. i dont have to further justify shit about fuck to anyone
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[Image ID: The Jane Lynch “I am going to create an environment that is so toxic” meme with Jane labelled “Every website I use” and the caption edited to read “I am going to create an update that is so counterintuitive, hard to look at, and overall much worse than what we had before.” End image ID]
#surprisingly not about tumblr for once#websites#updates#this is mostly about:#goodreads#Wikipedia#bookoutlet#nanowrimo#artbreeder#etc etc literally every website is doing it and I despise it#their updates are bad and they should feel bad#goodreads one almost left me having a breakdown and I know other book sites exist but they don’t have the same level of everything as gr#bookoutlet and Nano and artbreeder are unusable on mobile now#the first and latter also impossible to load correctly and the middle just being awful for nav and focus#and just gaaaaah stop it stop it there was nothing wrong with the old ones they were much more user friendly :(#not writing#ah had a typo initially fixed now but it was already reblogged 😭
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Me: wants the rewards of being loved [living with someone] but not the mortifying ordeal of being known [showing them my tumblr.com blog]
#it really shows how deeply mentally ill I really am#no one but my mutuals gets my broken sense of humor#and the there’s#the crabs#the supernatural rabbit hole#oh god#destiel#how do we explain that#the biggest red flag is supernatural isn’t it#GONCHAROV#the gay vampires#how do I explain that people got mad at each other because their favourite pirate lost a poll#and there was a video recap with the most unholy takes that got thousands of reblogs#we’re just not safe for outsiders#omegaverse????#and the unholy corner that is Italian tumblr#amadello#how do I explain Amadello#the entirety of this site is unusable if you don’t know the lore#supernatural#tumblr polls#tumblr experience#sanremo#interview with the vampire
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perhaps nothing better represents the feelings of isolation I’ve been experiencing lately while trying to stay connected or make new connections with people online than logging onto tumblr to find a notification for a new message, feeling approximately 3 seconds of joy and excitement before I open the message and it turns out to be from a pornbot
#that post that’s like ‘I can’t write a poem about this it’s already a poem you get it’#except it’s this and it’s me going ‘I can’t write a joke or a critique of this the situation clowns itself’#like….. man I am so tired of this current iteration of the internet#I try to post my photography to insta and it reaches maybe like 10 people who already have me on a close friends list#doesn’t matter what I hashtag it with those are the only people who will see it#Instagram immediately jumps to tell me I should make my content into a reel! or have I considered putting music over a random photo#Just so I can jumpscare everyone if they happen to click the photo#If I really want eyes on it I’ve got to repost it to stories and then it will only get interaction if people click through which they wont#you post stuff here and nobody likes or reblogs anything anyway#as the site becomes more and more unusable to a bigger percentage of people#but don’t worry you will have to block three people name sugar-baby-moon34 per day#all this technology at our disposal and all we’ve done with it is make it so we feel constantly surveilled and judged#without ever really feeling more connected to one another#AND IM TIRED OF IT
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Oh I can't add polls now because the spacing makes the button overlap with the other ones??
I can't click on it, just audio and community labels. A lot of space could be eliminated around the insert link button and it would fit just fine. Why is it this way?? Is it just me. Who knows.
#ghostly posts#I wanted to make a red team vs blu team poll#polls#tumblr glitch#I have to restart the app a lot#I have to restart it after turning tumblr live back off#I have to restart it because sometimes the top bar with the tumblr logo and shop button will never disappear#I have to restart it because sometimes the queue button just vanished#vanishes* and sometimes all of a sudden I can't click reblog or like on ANY posts so that's another restart#I have to restart it because audio will randomly start blaring for no reason from no findable source and it drives me insane#and there's probably more I'm forgetting#that's also not to mention that the app crashes A TON. like#every five minutes if you're scrolling on one blog#PLUS sometimes it glitches and gives me an ad or sponsored post at minimum five posts apart#often just three or four posts apart#and that's basically becoming unusable at that point#anywyayyyy
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i am gradually losing my ability to access legacy and boy oh boy am i just hating every encounter i have with beta so far
#what if we made a text input ui that was just sooooo unusable 🥰#gradually as in i can still make new text posts and reblog legacy text posts but most other forms (like asks and quotes) are forced to beta#as of rn#✘; I HAVE SEVENTY TWO EXAMS AND I HAVE NOT STUDIED FOR ONE ( ooc )#// tbd#idk like i feel like keeping keyboard shortcuts is. a normal ask.#are we assuming an audience browsing on the web version of ipads or something?#feels like an app-based editor should be confined to the app version of the site
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Me watching the discourse unfolding by the FE Engage leaks on my hill of absolutely zero fucks
#not headcanon or imagine related#fandom stuff#Fire Emblem series#Fire Emblem Engage#Fire Emblem Engage spoilers#look at the end of the day these are fictional characters#and the unused ages for the characters are ultimately that - unused#and don't get me wrong I'm happy that the supports with those (probably) younger than Alear being changed to a platonic relationship-#-than staying as a romantic one (even though they're fictional doesn't mean ya can't feel uncomfortable about it)#but the basic fact that we're acting as if Alear had graphic sex with them in the original context is just silly to me#(and I absolutely would be pissed if that would happen bc what the actual hell)#when the assumption at best is a sort of promise thing#(ie both characters are aware that they're too young to marry so they're gonna wait until then)#is that any better? dunno that's up to you#also I won't be reblogging anything that's potentially a spoiler from Engage either here or on my main blog#until probably the game being out for a month I guess#edit: after having a good look at the datamined spreedsheet I can definitely say I'm glad for the change for Anna's support#but I'm still going to make fun of the fact that treating the original vers. as the worst thing ever is just silly
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i will not apologize for the croissant post
#you should know that if i reblog one of those posts#i will reblog from ANYONE who reblogs it from me#and do it all in one go#so have fun seeing the same post 6 times#this isn't as bad as my one mutual who routinely fills my dash with 40 iterations of the same post#*cough*#i appreciate that you're having fun dearest friend#but my dash is fucking unusable#(i am teasing you. i just scroll past while laughing)
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my theme has nested posts instead of stacked posts and it is Driving Me Crazy
#you get like one letter at a time if there's sufficient reblogs on a post and its horrible unusable and bad. how do i change this. i can't#find anything. i've searched high and low and i cant find a single fucking thing that'll just tell me how to change this#i don't want an entirely new theme i just want to fix my current theme#its perfect it looks great. except this One Fucking Thing arrrrrrgggghhhh#i don't know html i don't know css im am flying blind here (blinder than would be normal for me. a blind woman.)#aslkfj;aslkf but seriously what the fuck do i do#am i just going to have to redo my whole theme....... again....
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I really need to talk for a minute about this new mobile update and how much I as a legally blind person hate whatever the hell is going on with the photos and how it's making this app nearly impossible for me to use
I'm not sure the same thing is happening on the desktop version but for those who may not know in the app whenever you tap on a photo it used to just pop up and you could double tap to enlarge it and zoom in and scroll around and all was great.
A double tap now likes the photo and it must be pinched and pulled to zoom in and out. A mild annoyance, and nothing compared to the rest of the update. If you scroll up, which I do frequently when trying to navigate an enlarged photo, it will send you to ANOTHER photo based on the tags of the post.
That's right, a completely different photo!!! A feature no one asked for and no one wants!! This isn't facebook, or instagram, and maybe tiktok but I never had that so this is a guess. When I click on the photo I only want to see that photo (or in the case of multiple photos in a post I want to be able to easily scroll side to side for those). I do not want to be taken to another post!!! Also if you scroll too far to the left you are then sent to the profile of the person who reblogged the post. I do not know why. Who wants this feature? Is it a feature at all?
As someone who only taps on a photo because I cannot see it and I need to enlarge it, this is beyond a simple annoyance. I cannot navigate the photo like I need, there's a hair trigger on whether it sends you to a new post completely or if you are sent to the profile of the reblogger. Neither, again, are things I want. this leaves me having to back track a lot, re-zoom the photo as it reverts back to normal, and hope dearly that this time I can just read the damned text before it freaks out again.
I haven't seen anyone else talk about this outside of the tags, but really this is making the app unusable for me, and I'm sure for many others.
@staff I know you guys haven't cared about your disabled community much in the past (other photo updates that stopped allowing me to zoom into gifs is proof of that) but please don't make this app unusable for me. I would rather not have to leave.
#staff#tumblr update#tumblr#thanks tungle#I really hate it#please put it back#it's worse even that instagram or facebook because at least I can stop those from moving on and well#I feel like I singed up for that sort of thing with them
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Level-One Intruder
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Spencer apprehends an unexpected but adorable trespasser Trope:It’s fluff in a meet cute type of way w.c: 1.8k a/n: I'm a liar. I said I was going to post once I get over this flu but I couldn't help myself, not at all. I just really really wanted to share this cute cute fic I wrote with you all. Not proofread. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 💗 masterlist
The brown tweed coat on Spencer’s shoulders threaten to droop down his arms as he wrangled his keys to unlock his apartment door.
There was little light on the hallway, something that could be attributed to the late hour of twelve midnight. Muffled noises could be heard from next door—a new tenant must have moved in while he was away.
The FBI agent could feel himself coming apart at the seams from the lack of proper sleep. The latest case took eight long grueling days to solve and the team had to make do with what the small town could offer as arrangements.
His back felt stiff from curling on the squeaky sofa bed, trying his best to make himself comfortable and now, all he wanted to do was decompress with a totem of a book and sleep like the dead until his alarm clock rang for the next day.
Dropping his satchel on the ground, silently assuring himself to get the laundry going the next day, a tiny scuffle echoed through his heavily darkened apartment.
Spencer tensed, unsure if his overtly exhausted mind conjured up the noise or if someone else found their way into his haven while it was otherwise unoccupied.
Another sound confirmed the reality causing him to draw his gun from his holster, ends pointing down, as he slowly made his way around the sofa to the first bedroom, minding his steps to avoid the sections with creaking floorboards.
He rounded the corner, eyes straining to adjust to the minimal light the outposts provide him—and nothing.
The room was stale from lack of use and everything looked to be in the right place. The stripped spare bed looked untouched and all the windows were sealed shut. Exactly how he left it.
Another noise caught his attention.
Spencer tightened his hold on the gun and tiptoe’d to the next room—the bathroom and in there, the first real evidence was uncovered.
His eyebrows threatened to meet in the middle as he took in the unspooled tissue roll hanging from its holder. The unused sheets of paper now sat on the green titled floor, no doubt flooded with organisms and bacteria that the naked eye couldn’t see.
He shuddered from the thought.
Quickly moving on, he shuffled his way to the open kitchen. Right away he spotted something amiss—rather a few items amiss.
First, the lower cabinet was ajar. It was where Spencer stored his cleaning supplies and it was rarely opened as it was.
Second, his favorite Star Trek mug that he left out to dry near the sink was now precariously near the edge, threatening to break into a thousand pieces.
And lastly, the empty plastic bag of bread on the counter that he was sure had two more slices before he went away for the case.
There was an intruder and it seemed like he was hungry.
Weapon still in his hands, he slowly he crept his towards the slightly opened mahogany door of the main bedroom. He took a deep breath before rounding up to the room, pistol pointing forward to the unsuspecting guest.
Except there was no one.
“That’s strange,” he muttered to himself, holstering back the revolver to his belt and to his surprise, someone answered or rather, meow-ed back. A fluffy orange cat with a collar on his neck.
The agent smiled. “You must be my intruder—”
Meow.
“—Now, who are you and how did you get in here?”
The cat was silent, content with rubbing his body on his black pant legs, leaving behind stray hairs that Spencer would have to lint away before laundry.
He bent down to see if there was any information hanging from the cat’s green collar.
“Mr. Chewie. Is that your name?”
Feline eyes stared into his and blinked once.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he sighed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d believe you could understand me but actually according to studies, cats lack the cognitive skills to interpret human language so I still don’t know why I’m explaining that to you.”
Meow.
“Nope, I’m sure you’re just responding to the fact that I am talking to you and my rambling is clearly brought by my lack of proper sleep—” a knock on his front door interrupted his musings. “—one second,” he called out, swiftly unbuckling his holster belt and placing it on top of the dresser. There was no need to frighten the knocking neighbor with a gun.
Spencer turned back to the cat inquisitively sitting next to his feet. “Don’t move.”
As he made his way back to the entrance, opening lights as he went, he could hear the click clack of the feline’s claws against the wooden floorboards. It clearly didn’t take his order to consideration.
Spencer swung the door open as the stranger was poised for a mid-knock.
“Uh—hi,” the woman breathed out.
“Hi,” Spencer drawled out in reply. “Can I help you?”
You rocked on your heels, fingers pulling down the ends of your oversized sweater as if it could lessen your state of undress. Spencer didn’t judge, it was early into the morning after all, nor did he stare long at your navy blue shorts and pink fluffy socks adorning your feet.
“I’m your new neighbor and it’s not really the time to introduce myself but by any chance is there—”
“An adorable intruder in my apartment?”
You nod, sweetly smiling. The glint in your eyes filled with apologies.
“Yes actually, I was trying to ask him where he came from but I don’t actually speak cat and neither does he understand human.”
You laugh sheepishly, fingers gently rubbing at the side of your neck. “I’m so sorry. I hope he didn’t make a mess or bother you at all. I left my fire escape window open for a little bit to let the breeze in and he must have explored out while I wasn’t looking. So sorry again, let me just get him out of the way—”
A rustle from behind made him turn, not before he caught your eyes widening to the scene inside his apartment. Your cat kneading on his brown throw blanket before settling on the sofa.
“Mr. Chewie, what are you doing?” You squeaked out.
Spencer laughed at the outrageous tone coating your voice. It reminded him of Garcia swatting the other agents away from her tech equipments.
The cat answered back with a meow.
“No, mister. You cannot sleep here, this isn’t our home! It belongs to this lovely gentleman over here—” you flashed Spencer a smile. “Now, please get your butt off the sofa and back to our apartment.”
The feline seemingly rolled his eyes and turned his back on you.
“Huh,” Spencer observed. “The studies might be wrong after all. I think he understands you.”
You laughed, shoulders shaking from the absurdity of his comment. “Mr. Chewie might be special or at least that’s what every pet owner believe to be. I never introduced myself have I? I’m Y/N. I moved next door a couple of nights ago.”
“Dr. Spencer Reid,” he replied back.
You tilted your head to the side. “Oh, is that why I haven’t seen you around, Doctor? Busy saving lives?”
He shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. In a way, you weren’t wrong per se. His title did let people assume his career to be in the medical industry instead of having three PhD’s under his belt. The former was more plausible given how young he looked.
The sound of a door opening and closing at the end of the hall caught both your attention. Your eyes flashed back to his, twinkling. “So, Doctor. Will it be alright if I step inside and grabbed my cat?”
He cleared his throat. “Uh—yeah, yeah. Sure, come right in.”
You sheepishly smiled before entering his sanctuary. Eyes soaking in any piece of information that represented who he was.
Spencer felt your warmth as you passed his body. The smell of warm cookies wafting to his nose, dissipating the anxiety that threatened to creep up his spine from letting a stranger into his home.
“Nice apartment,” you complimented. “There seems to be a lot of books.”
He tucks his hands inside his pant pockets. “I like to read.”
“Me too. It’s a great hobby to pass the time.”
You sweetly smiled before swiftly scooping up the lounging cat in your arms with little protest. “Again, I’m so sorry if he disturbed you in any way and please, let me know if he made a mess. I’d like to make it up to you—as a thank you and apology, I mean.”
“It’s no problem,” Spencer watched your cheeks match the color of your socks under the fluorescent light. It suited you, he thought. “Actually, can I just ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“Why is he—” his calloused hands reaching to pet the orange feline nestled on your chest. “—named Mr. Chewie?”
You giggled, the sound similar to wind chimes being rustled by a gentle breeze. It settled the ache caused by his lack of proper rest. It was fascinating, intriguing, and a little bit frightening if he had to be honest.
“Well, I actually named him after Star Wars, Chewbacca, because of how fluffy he is and the name just shortened itself once I found out how perpetually famished he is.”
“He’s named well,” Spencer surmised, the empty plastic of bread flashing in his mind.
“Well, I shouldn’t be bothering you any longer,” you slowly backed away from his space. “Thank you, Doctor, and have a good night.”
With a sleepy smile on his face, Spencer watched you push open your apartment door. “Good night.”
You flashed your saccharine smile one last time before closing it behind you, leaving him feeling light and bemused for the first time in a long while.
And as he woke up to the gentle streams of the sun on his face, feeling well rested and ready to tackle the paperwork on his desk, the emotion still lingered causing the corners of his mouth to rise up into a soft smile. An after effect of your encounter that he didn’t mind experiencing.
It was a certain type of high.
It was something bright and puzzling.
A note and a batch of cookies taped to his door caught his eye as he exited the apartment. The treats were in this clear, non-labelled package. Handmade then, Spencer noted.
His smile stretched his warming cheeks wide as he took in the scripted letters written on the pink post it that reminded him of your blush and your fluffy socks.
See you around, Doctor!
Have a great day saving lives!
- Your Nurse neighbor & Mr. Chewie xx
Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#dr Spencer Reid imagine#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert
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Random unused backgrounds I did for a Transformers dating Sim way back when!
EDIT: there are way more backgrounds in the reblogs! I just couldn't fit them all in one post
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Now that the post is over 10k and my notes are straight-up unusable...
One thing I wish I'd spelled out more explicitly in the original post because I see this point getting lost on a lot of rebloggers who don't understand why the healthcare thing was such a big deal is like
The subtext I thought would be understood bc I lived back then but apparently has been lost today is that making sure queer employees and their partners had healthcare in the early 90s meant Disney was paying for a lot of AIDS treatment.
This is one reason fundie Christians were so upset and queer employees were so grateful. It's one reason why it was such a controversial decision. It was a major talking point amongst my family, who believed back then that AIDS was a punishment from God.
(Some still do, I think. We don't talk.)
I keep seeing people saying that Disney only chose that option "because of their bottom line" and it's like??? Were you listening??? Disney has been paying for that decision for literally decades, but they've stood by it.
Like... the 90s weren't like now! It wasn't profitable to cater to the queer population of the country back then. They weren't raking in money with this.
It's in no way a perfect company but I fully believe in criticizing people for the specific things they do wrong and praising them for the specific things they do right. Disney has fucked copyright, monopoly, and labor laws and I'm not about to defend that. But they are well known in FL for being friendly to both queer people and disabled people, and that is unambiguously a good thing.
(Like side note, I could talk about Disney and accessibility for days. I have traveled extensively while disabled and no one does it like Disney.)
I've had people reblogging the post like "I straight-up don't believe Disney is an industry leader in equal protections for queer employees" and it's like ??? do you think I just pulled this out of my ass? If you want more information, go look it up! You'll see that this is well-established history. It's not my fault y'all don't read! :|
#I know I know#having a post go viral on tumblr is always a blessing and a curse#I'm happy that the word is getting out to so many people#I genuinely thought this history was more well-known than apparently it is#especially with younger users#but when your post starts doing numbers you have to start dealing with people who always wanna deal with ideas in bad faith#cw:#disney#homophobia#aids
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Accidentally made two lightly-moderately popular posts at once, my poor notifications are not used to this
#fr tho the time one i was expecting like my mutuals and maybe 5-10 total of their followers to respond#i just wanted to heard from a canadian or two#now its one of those posts that everyone who reblogs it wants to add something#like no judgement i love doing that#im just unused to the feedback
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second chance romance with sae. write it.
x : WITH(OUT) :*+゚
in which: after a messy breakup with sae, you find yourself waking up next to him two weeks later, this time just more in love.
warnings: 1.8k words, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, SFW, gn!reader, tooth-rotting fluff with quite a bit of angst, a lot of metaphors here and there i apologise if they don't make sense get on my brainwave (nicely), ooc!sae perhaps uhh lol, bad writing, reblogs appreciated!!
a/n: lets see if tumblr community labels this post... sigh. rip first version u were a champ. this is my official claim to become tumblr's sfw itoshi brothers (separate) writer. i've made progress with rin, it's time to show some (reluctant) love to sae!! i literally only wrote this bc @limitlesshq and i had an agreement.
you wake up due to the rustling beside you, the movement rousing you from your slumber as the world becomes ever so clearer with each millisecond, the drowsy haze wearing off you as you take in your surroundings.
there’s a white ceiling overhead, the mattress beneath you feels like a cloud, and you can’t remember when your sheets turned a shade of gray. no- scratch that, you can’t remember when your mattress became this soft.
hold on.
this wasn’t your room and the mop of magenta hair lying atop your chest is an indicator of such.
you’re in bed with a soccer star who just so happens to be the ex you messily broke up with two weeks ago. he’s wrapped around you like nothing had ever happened; as if you two were still in love and devoted to one another and hadn’t shouted at each other to the point that your throats were sore for a days afterwards.
you needed to get out of here which was something easier said than done. especially when you had itoshi sae lying on top of you, wrapping you in a vice grip as he sunk further and further into your warmth, chest methodically rising up and down. you want to slap him for being so peaceful in this very moment. that should be you but instead, you’re panicking and trying to avoid another messy scene with your ex.
the fact that said-ex was itoshi sae too… goodness what have you gotten yourself into. you should get out of here before it’s too late.
slowly, you begin to shuffle away, trying to pull yourself away from sae’s grasp.
you’re halfway out when you hear the magenta-haired whine quietly, the sound causing you to turn your head and look at him. it’s to your horror that you’re greeted by a pair of hazy, turquoise eyes, still groggily waking up as sae tries to adjust to his bearings. he blinks a few times, waking up a little more with each flutter.
“where are you going?” he asks, voice hoarse from unuse. his arm tightens ever so slightly around you, pulling you back towards him and completely ruining your efforts.
you’re stunned, unsure of how to respond as sae tucks himself into your chest, breathing you in.
you hate the way you feel your heart lurch in your chest, rapidly beating with the urge to be as close as possible to him. this feels like a life you once knew, especially when his fingers start running up and down your spine, nimbly finding their way under your shirt.
“sae,” you breathe out and his ministrations stop, diverting all of his attention upon you. “i have to go.”
he groans his protest, shaking his head. “why?”
“i just have to.”
“no.”
“what?”
“stay.”
“what?”
“did you not hear me? i said stay.”
just to prove his point a little more, he puts even more of his weight on you, tangling his legs with yours as if rooting you to his mattress. ever so demanding, he is.
the breakup was disastrous and entirely hurtful, wrecking you from the inside out when you woke up the next morning registering the previous night. you couldn’t remember the last time you felt so heartbroken and it hurt even more with every trace of sae that remained in your apartment. looking back, perhaps it was a little naive to believe that he was the one for you, that he was your endgame and not simply another lesson to heal from. all that time spent in a relationship, crumbled thanks to an argument that lasted for three hours and ended with a decisive slam of his door.
yet just when you thought you were making process on the journey away from him, sae finds a way to pull you back in.
“i can’t stay,” you whisper, voice already a little shaky.
the magenta-haired looks up at you, apathetic eyes boring into yours. “but why?”
“i just- i just can’t. thank you for letting me stay over but i’m going to go home now-”
fingers thread through yours and sae’s hand pulls yours closer towards him. a pair of warm lips press themself to your skin and linger there as if burning and branding you- all of you, as his.
he then kisses each of your fingers delicately and softly. “don’t go,” he mutters between pecks.
you feel a little breathless. like he’s punched your gut with every piece of gentle affection he plants, twisting the knife he had stabbed in your chest two weeks ago deeper and deeper, reopening the raw wound of hurt and pain with unmatched love.
you need to leave before anything else can happen, before you begin breaking down in front of him.
quickly shuffling away from the athlete, you abruptly pull your hand out of his, throwing the covers off of you. however quick you may have been though, sae is undeniably faster, his hands crossing the distance to pull you back. his strength forces you to sit down once more and you bounce a little from the soft impact. he drapes himself around you again, chin resting on your shoulder.
“let me go,” you plead, putting your hands over his wrists as if trying to pry them off but you feel too much for sae to truly try and resist him. his spell, no matter how hard you try to fight back, is just as potent.
you fear that you may never be immune to his poison.
he begins trailing kisses along your skin, uncharacteristically affectionate. “i can’t,” he begins, voice wavering uncharacteristically, traces of heartbreak evident in his tone. this display of emotion shocks you endlessly and you stop fighting against him, freezing when you feel his breath shudder against your skin.
your heart is thumping heavily, causing your chest to clench.
"stop messing around, we-"
"i'm not messing around just stay," he hushes gently, "please."
you feel the world stop for a second. sae? pleading? he knew how to do that? the prospect of sae beseeching for anything was incredibly unfamiliar and the fact that his voice cracked merely proves how entirely unfamiliar the word was in his vocabulary.
the love you feel for him will choke you before heartache does. unbeknownst to you, a tear begins sliding down your cheek and you don’t feel it until it’s halfway down.
“hey, hey, hey,” the magenta-haired mumbles, catching the tear with his thumb. “don’t cry.”
he sounds so tender and doting it hurts. there’s so much love in the way he’s holding you, pressing himself closer to you with each minute as if he hates the idea of being too far away from you, as if he was trying to make sure that you were still the same love of his life from before he hurt you tremendously, as if he was committing you to memory before he does lose you forever.
but he doesn’t want that. he wants to stay with you. sae doesn’t think he can handle another day without you, that’s why he’s so stubborn to keep you here; to put you under his spell again so that you could feel an ounce of the love he has stored for you. so that this love has somewhere to go before it inevitably ruins him, punishing him for being so stupid.
“i’m sorry,” whispers sae hurriedly. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry pretty, don’t cry.”
glancing away from him, you wipe away any remaining tears, inhaling deeply as to try and collect yourself with whatever willpower you had left.
"i need to leave," you murmur, not entirely meaning it.
"no you don't," he answers, entirely meaning it. "just stay until breakfast or something."
wordlessly, you fall back in his grasp, leaning into the athlete when you feel rapid beating against your arm. that’s when you realise that it wasn’t your racing heart… it was his.
giving in to his desires, you tuck your legs back up on the bed and he manoeuvres you, practically cradling you whilst you find solace in his neck with your arms wrapped around his torso. here, you feel whole again.
you’ve lived life with sae and without sae and you now know well enough to prefer the former. something tells you he feels the same too.
“are you going to stay for breakfast?” he asks after a few minutes of simply soaking up the other’s presence. glancing up at him, his expression remains beautifully neutral, illuminated perfectly by the bright morning light that seeps through his windows. he’s radiant, gorgeous as ever.
you hum against his skin. “i’m not too sure. i was going to leave before breakfast.”
“let’s go back to sleep then. i’m not hungry anymore.”
amused by his request, you agree nonetheless and sae is able to move the both of you around to the same positions you had woken up in with you on your back and him on top of you. the soccer player then pulls you closer and throws his leg over your hips- something he does to keep you in your spot so you won’t slip away from him again.
you won’t. you don’t want to leave and live a life without him.
“are we back together?” you hesitantly ask. the question floats into the tranquil air, afraid to break whatever quiet, ecstatic haze you were both in but you need to know.
“will you take me back?” the soccer player counters, surprisingly shy and unsure, so unlike the arrogant sae you’re used to. he’s putting all the cards on your table despite knowing what he wants because although he wants to be with you for eternity and a little longer after that, it’s up to you to decide whether or not he deserves such a paradise.
sae can only hope you’re merciful.
“i want to. i miss ‘us’, i miss you.”
he immediately feels a heavy weight lift itself off and the exhale the magenta-haired lets out communicates his magnitude of relief. fate has saved him today.
“good.” is all he says as your hands rise to the nape of his neck, playing with the hair there. “be here when i wake up.”
“so demanding,” you joke with a smile, “but okay.”
as sae dozes off once more, you take the time to scan around his room once more whilst trying to lull yourself into dreamland as well.
his decor had always been rather plain and it didn’t change until you started dating. remnants of you have been lingering around his place and you’re surprised he didn’t get rid of them the night you left out of rage. a little nanodroid that you gave him of a character from an anime you both like sits on his shelf, there’s that little fake plant on his desk, and there are still photos of you two on his dresser.
he used to only have one pillow and the only reason he bought more was so you could sleep over comfortably. you don’t think too hard about the lingering smell of sae’s shampoo on the pillows that you had previously claimed as ‘yours’.
shifting a little so that you were comfortable, you gaze up at sae’s ceilings once more. a gentle smile makes its way to your face before you doze off peacefully knowing that two hearts have found their way back home.
#tumblr will di3 by my blade.#sae x reader#blue lock x reader#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae#bllk x reader#blue lock fluff#sae fluff#itoshi sae fluff#sae itoshi x reader#blue lock
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