#and the small things aren't so bad anymore after that.
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thisweknow · 3 days ago
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I very much understand your frustration with the "you! are! valid!" Tumblr culture from the mid-2010s, that was something that honestly made me feel so isolated as a teenager. I hated hearing "it gets better!" and watching my life fall further and further apart with everyone telling me that it would all be fine one day. It felt hypocritical. It WAS hypocritical—to tell me my feelings and my experiences were valid and then to just absolutely steamroll me when I expressed my frustrations and fears.
I started to favor the phrase "everything changes" around the time I turned 16. I liked the idea of neutrality, it was something I'd seen as a suggestion relating to body positivity, which I struggle(d) with greatly. The basic premise was that if you couldn't say anything positive, try saying something neutral. Everything changes is neutral. It's not saying it'll get better necessarily, but not that it would be worse, either. It felt like the closest to a truth I could have. What I was dealing with in any given moment wouldn't last forever. Everything changes, my circumstances today are entirely different than my circumstances tomorrow, even if it doesn't always feel like it.
I've let that phrase carry me for years. In the bad moments I remind myself that everything changes, and the world parts that suck won't suck so immediately forever. In the good moments I remind myself that everything changes, and I should hold on to those and savor them for what they are, even if they're peppered in with the worst moments.
It's not to say that I don't remember the bad moments now—I very much do. I can remember a lot of the trauma of my childhood and if I let myself sit with it for too long I can feel what it was like to sit awake at 3 AM sobbing in my room wishing that I was no longer here. I don't think I will ever truly forget that. I can say that those parts aren't the part on my mind anymore. When I look back at my life I tend to look with rose colored glasses at the parts that were good. The moments I spent with my friends, the nights I'd sneak out to ride my bike in the peace and silence of the small town I lived in, the rehearsals for plays that I dreaded going to but loved being in, the way my dog would curl up at my feet and sleep there all night when I was sad—the list goes on. The bad parts are still very much remembered and acknowledged, but the good parts are the ones I think about and the ones I miss.
I know that I struggled for a long time with feeling guilty about having moments I looked back on that I didn't hate. This was especially true after leaving an abusive relationship. I knew the person I had left had been abusive and had done horrible things to me, that I had sustained damages that I wasn't sure I could recover from. Yet I still had moments I looked back on fondly. Moments where I had genuinely cared for my abuser, moments of sweetness and moments of joy, moments of calm and peace that I hadn't had with anyone else. I felt like looking at those moments somewhat fondly cheapened my experiences, as if it was somehow an admission of fraud to acknowledge that even the worst thing that had ever happened to me had its silver linings. It took years of therapy and dedicated self work to finally understand that abuse doesn't happen in a vacuum and that it's okay to miss those good moments, however many there might be, even when we know the overall situation was awful.
It's okay to savor the good things when they come your way. A journal entry from when I was about 17 sums it up really well: I don't want to be happy all of the time. If I was happy all of the time I wouldn't really feel happy anymore, would I? It would just be my normal, my neutral. I want to feel positive at least 75% of the time, that's my goal. I want to feel sad sometimes, too. I want to feel angry and hurt, I want to feel excited and happy and in love, too. I want to experience every emotion life has to offer, even the sucky ones. I don't think I would appreciate happiness if I didn't experience everything else, yknow?
btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.
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beelanddiavolosimp-blog · 2 days ago
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Suggestion!
I'm genderfluid, and I was wondering if you could do a obey me! Brothers react to someone being transphobic of MC?
Juat a random little idea.
Oh no...lots of planned deaths will be happening..but of course!
The brothers reaction to someone being transphobic to MC
Lucifer
He has always been accepting of you he always saw you as his lover and nothing more nothing less. He hasn't heard much transphobic talk so he never felt he needed to do something about it until one demon changed all that. They were using very hurtful comments knowing exactly what they were doing. He immediately storms over and stares the demon right in their eyes. "I suggest you shut your mouth before I have Diavolo banish you from devildom or better yet let me deal with you." He says his demon form on the verge of escaping. Of course the demon backed off letting out small apologies before running away. He immediately goes to comfort MC saying all the demons words were trash and nothing that could ever be the truth.
Mammon
He already is very defensive of Mc in the first place so when someone bad mouths them it isn't too pretty. Which is exactly what's happening in this situation. The moment he hears any sort of negative comment he immediately gets set off. He of course was damn near a few inches away from MC so he heard it loud and clear. He has no self restraint and his demon form was immediately out in the open. "The hell did ya say? I'll make you eat your damn words then the floor next!" He says spewing more threats before having MC intervene. He after being calmed down and distanced immediately checked up on you apologizing for being too aggressive in front of you (not for being aggressive towards the asshole)
Levi
He isn't very confrontationally to begin with so when situations like so occur he freaks out. Once he sees MC is hurt from these horrible comments he immediately drags them away. If the demon insists on following he eventually snaps. "One more step and lotan will have you for dinner" he quickly states. Once MC is away and safe he nervously checks up on them hoping they aren't too hurt and affected or else he'd relay this incident to Lucifer... anonymously...sure
Satan
As expected it doesn't end well. He tried to hold his temper and ward the transphobic asshole off with a few threats but the demon wasn't listening. He eventually lost his temper and not even MC could calm him. Lucifer had to be called and the two were safely back at the house of lamentation. Once he was coherent he apologized for his outburst and for not listen to MC. He does however promise no one will make comments like those again after seeing what happened to the last demon.
Asmos
With how he is he's dealt with stuff like this demon before. He covers Mc's ears and glares at the demon "hunny look at that outfit I wouldn't spout out anymore low life insults when you can barely dress yourself." He then walks MC away and distracts them. He did however alert Lucifer of this demon and let whatever happens happen☺️
Beel
He loves family and MC so whenever one is threatened he isn't such a great person to be around. This demon has some balls for saying such harsh things to MC when beel is standing right there next to them. He suddenly grabbed the demons shirt with one hand and looks them dead in the eyes. "Stop talking." He suddenly says. MC rests their hand on him to ease his anger a bit. It works he lets the demon down and goes to take a step forward and the demon has already scurried off. He turns to MC and cups their face "are you alright" he asks his demeanor completely different from before.
Belphie
He's an asshole by nature so... The demon wasn't very smart doing such a thing. As soon as he spoke and said one hurtful comment and MC's face dropped he suddenly grabbed the demon and forced them to sleep. He would have gone further if MC didn't step in. "Don't Lucifer will have your head if you do anything more" MC states and he sighs walking them both away. Still not getting that demon out of his head eventually doing something but no one will know that.
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talkativeanxiousturtle · 3 days ago
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I wrote this a while ago but didn't know if it was worth posting. Found it in my notes and it made me feel sick. We'll see. Johnlock angst, trigger warning for death.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
"It's alright! I can fix this, I will fix this, just, give me a second, I need to...."
"Sherlock..."
"SHUT UP! I just need to go to my mind palace, just shut up..."
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
"Sherlock..."
"JOHN! What don't you get in 'shut up'?! Stop distracting me!"
"Sherlock!"
"I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!"
"... There is no more time. We're done."
Sherlock looks around, and his shoulders drop, letting the weight of the world slide off.
"No... I can still... I can..."
"Even if you found the code now, we can't access the panel anymore. It's over, Sherlock. The game is over."
John puts a hand on Sherlock, and he's not mad. He smiles at him. After the worst mistake of his life, Sherlock gets a smile as punishment.
"John... I'm sorry."
"Sorry? You never apologize. Why start now?"
"Because! Usually..."
He sighs, and lets himself fall to the floor. Rock bottoms are comfortable to him. Familiar.
"... Usually, the mistake isn't so bad, or, I have time to... Fix it..."
"Maybe. But not always."
"What?"
"Not always, Sherlock!"
John laughs. It's the best sound Sherlock has ever heard, when knowing he's about to die.
"Sometimes, you say something, or do something, to our clients, and you just... You never apologize. And you never fix it. You never see those people again."
"Doesn't matter."
"What? Your mistake?"
"No. Them. Besides, one would argue that by fixing whatever problem they came to me for, I fixed my own blunder times a thousand."
Sherlock knows John. He knows John wants to say something to that.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
He knows John won't waste their time bickering. 
John laughs.
"Alright, Sherlock."
They sigh, and there's silence, as they sit next to each other, waiting for the room to swallow them whole. They're going to be crushed. Mashed into each other. Their bodies, if they're ever found, are going to be indistinguishable, a gruesome mix of blood and gore. Inextricable. Sherlock finds the thought oddly comforting.
"I love you."
Sherlock didn't expect John to waste their time lying.
"What?"
"I love you, Sherlock. I have, for a while. Maybe since the start."
He shrugs, with a casualness that's heartbreaking, in context.
"Since we're gonna die, I just thought I'd let you know. You don't have to say anything, I know you don't..."
John looks at him, and even now, there's hope in his eyes. Sherlock isn't about to waste this. What use are masks when the mascarade is over?
"I love you too."
"No, I mean..."
"I know how you mean. And I love you too."
There's a silence, as they both stare each other down.
May the stages of grief begin.
-----
Denial.
"Wh-what? No!..."
"Yes, John."
"No! No you don't... You don't love me! I mean... M-maybe you do, but you're not... In love with me! Sherlock!"
Sherlock sighs. Weary.
"I am, John. I tried hard not to be. To pretend otherwise. But I am."
"But... But..."
John looks angry. Perhaps he will waste their time with bickering after all.
----
Anger.
"But why!"
He finally explodes. Sherlock is confused.
"Why what?"
"Why... Why... Why didn't you say anything!"
"Why didn't you?" 
Sherlock's counter accusation is enough to catch John off guard. 
"I... Because, I..."
"Because you were scared."
Sherlock's tone is cold, implacable truth.
"I was."
"And so was I."
"And so were you."
Silence. No, not silence. Tick, tick, tick, tick.
"... We're really two idiots, aren't we?"
Sherlock laughs, because it's true. They are. And he'd rather hear John laugh than cry.
----
Bargaining.
"Well, then."
John gets up. Slaps his knee. It's about to be too small in here to do either of those things. He looks at Sherlock, beckons him with a nod. Sherlock hesitates and gets up. John pulls him closer, and Sherlock swears that this will be enough to make time stop, to delay the inevitable.
John kisses him.
Sherlock eventually backs away, stunned.
"What? What's got you so wide eyed?"
"I... You... Kissed me."
"Yes, I did."
John smiles. He kisses Sherlock's hand.
"It's my last chance to. I'll take as many seconds as I can get."
Sherlock breathes again. He shakes his head.
"We... We have to get out of here."
"Sherlock..."
John watches, as Sherlock paces along the narrow corridor, trying to get his thoughts in order.
"We have to get out of here, John. I have to figure this out."
"Sherlock... Sherlock!"
This time, John isn't as patient. He pulls Sherlock by the wrist, and kisses him again. Puts a hand on his cheek. Looks at him, sorrowful.
"It's over, okay? It's over. Let's just... Make use of the time we still have."
"But... If we get out of here, I... I could..."
"I know. I know what we could be. Could have been. But it's too late for that. Let's just... Take what we can, while we can."
He pulls him closer. Sherlock feels himself die in that moment, even if the walls haven't crushed them yet.
-----
Depression.
Sherlock falls into John's embrace, and the men are too close to pretend the other isn't crying. Their tears mix on their cheeks, and Sherlock feels John's leg trembling against his. He's scared.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"I am, John. For everything. For not getting us out, for bringing you here, for never saying anything earlier..."
"Don't apologize, it isn't like you."
He kisses his neck as he says this.
"And I love you."
Sherlock wants to cry so badly. But it isn't like him. And John loves him. He'll give John as much of what he loves as he can.
-----
Acceptance.
"There isn't enough time."
"Even for a quick one?"
The two men laugh at the whispered joke from Sherlock. The detective knows it's unlike him, but by God, is John's laugh addicting. And caving to addiction is very much like him. 
"Sherlock..."
Their bodies are pressed against each other now, and it's pleasant, not that they have a choice. Sherlock felt the breath John took to say the word against his own ribs.
"Get your hands off of me!"
"Well, it's not like there's ample room to move about, John."
"Sod off, you know what I meant."
Oh, he knows. But he won't die without feeling John's package, not when he has the option to do so. It's not so much that the context is conductive to that sort of mood, or even that this half-measure press over the jeans is anywhere close to what Sherlock really wants, really craves, but the little endorphins he gets from it help. You know, with acceptance. Of what's to come.
There's a moment of silence, as they gently kiss each other, as John ravages Sherlock's neck, as Sherlock tries not to be bitter, or think of what ifs. It's harder than it looks.
"John..."
He hasn't said that name enough in his life. He could've lived forever and still wouldn't have said it enough, really.
"Yes, Sherlock?"
There it is. There's little room to breathe now, let alone speak. Those are his last words, Sherlock knows it. Not that anyone is here to record them. Well, John has always been the only ear that's mattered, anyways. He'd be lost without his blogger.
The Great Sherlock Holmes, about to draw his final breath. A mind so incredible, few even believed in it. But John did. John always did, no matter what. What words will best undo his time on Earth, unravel all that he is and bring to it a satisfying conclusion? What would be enough to summarize him?
Sherlock takes a deep breath, for the last time.
"I love you, John."
So pathetically cliché.
"I know, Sherlock. I could read it in your eyes, in your every word and silence. In your everything. My everything. My amazing."
And how fitting, that the writer's last whisper is so much more eloquent than snotty Holmes could ever hope to be. So much more fulfilling. Sherlock sighs and holds him, and he hopes John knows that Sherlock could read it, as well. In every line of his blog. John's love for Sherlock was so engrossing, the world even fell for it, even started to love Sherlock as well. Every flutter of every heart, every smile on every face caused by Sherlock Holmes' great mind, really was caused by John Watson's greater heart. And Sherlock hopes John knows, no, knows John knows, because he's John, and John knows everything that matters, always has, even when Sherlock was blind.
And their bones start to crack. And it's starting to hurt.
And the detective hopes that his last thought is John's name, because nothing else in that brain of his matters now. Nothing else. That's the flaw of genius, it needs an audience.
The genius holds his audience captive, not with words, but loving arms.
And the soldier holds his allegiance back, with the strength and fervor of a fighter, and the tenderness and care of a healer.
And why would you want to read what happens next?
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suprsingr · 2 years ago
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#all right#well#last post then because i'm still upset but i don't really know what to do about it#i'm not sure if i can handle stand up. i put in a deposit on the class and if i show up to the next one#i have to put in the full amount and then there's no backing out#we're supposed to do a five minute set at the end and tbh i was expecting that i could back out#but he said ''no! everyone always backs out. if you're here you're doing the show''#look i know they can't force me. i can say no for whatever reason i want. i gave them a fuck ton of money#not the other way around#but i don't like that there's an expectation now and if i flake it's going to be noted#i've always loved comedy and i just wanted to mess around with it#see if there's anything there for me. but first class... already fucking disastrous#so i'm not sure i want to invest more money into this. but if i don't keep going with it#i know i'm never going to try stand up again. idek if i'll still be in fl in a year or w/e#i'm as comfortable as i'm going to be in this stupid little room i've already had classes in#but not comfortable enough. i just... i don't know if i can do this. if it's worth it. if it's okay.#but i feel like that about everything. even small things. which is why i keep throwing myself into the deep end#even if i flail around like a stupid lunatic i'll know if i don't drown then i've faced the worst and survived#and the small things aren't so bad anymore after that.#but you have to nearly drown to get to that place. and now i'm wondering if it's smart#to keep putting myself into these situations that hurt so much and coming away from it just#too close to the same thing as before i nearly drowned. idk if the reward is worth the risk.#or if it's even healthy at this point. i want to change but. idk. i don't have anything else to say about it#i just don't know at this point#so. thank you for coming to my mental breakdown. if you read this#you have a good morning or night#i'm going to try to#to delete
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yuujispinkhair · 9 months ago
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Sukuna’s the type of baby daddy that even if you break you never really broke up 😭 and if you got pregnant again there no chance in hell it could be anyone else’s kid besides his
The love you and Sukuna have is world-changing. Even after you break up, you are both still stuck on the other and unable to move on.
Pairing: Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Hurt + comfort, fluff, mentions of smut Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: 18+, mentions of smut but nothing explicit. Reader and Sukuna break up, but they get back together at the end of the story. There is a happy end. They already have a daughter together, and another pregnancy is mentioned at the end. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear
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It's not that you aren't trying to get over Sukuna. You really do. After a week of crying your eyes out, you decide to go out. It's not even that hard to get chatted up by some guy at a bar. But when his hand lands on your knee, you practically bolt. It feels so wrong, so dirty somehow. As if your body is still Sukuna's territory and no one else is worthy of touching you.
You try again a week later and the week after, too. But none of the men you meet spark your interest. Maybe this shouldn't come as a surprise. After all, only a few weeks ago, you had Sukuna. You had the best. There simply is no one who can compare to him. No one will ever make you feel the way Sukuna did.
You regret the breakup. It was stupid. Just small things that accumulated over several weeks, combined with a bad day at work and Sukuna being grumpy when you got home. You could have handled it differently.
But now, your bed always feels cold, and your heart doesn't seem to be in your chest anymore. Instead, there is a stone in your chest, heavy and painful, while your heart is in another part of this city, in the hands of the man who will always be the one for you, even if you will never get back together with him again.
+++
Sukuna asks to see his child, but you feel unable to face him, so you cowardly text him back, telling him to just pick your daughter up from kindergarten and spend the afternoon with her. When Sukuna brings her home in the evening, you are relieved that he seems to have gotten the hint. He doesn't come inside but waits at the front door as your daughter runs up the stairs to your apartment.
But you aren't strong enough not to hurry to the large window that faces the street, gazing outside to see Sukuna's familiar tall, broad figure slowly stroll down the street toward his car. His pink hair looks just like the cherry blossoms that fall down onto the road like pretty, pink snowflakes.
You know you will never be able to look at cherry trees again without feeling sadness wash over you.
Maybe you will try going on another date with some new guy, but deep down, you know that it will be in vain. It will always feel wrong. It will always feel like something is missing. Because none of those men are Sukuna. No one can be like him. There is only one Sukuna. Everyone else will always just be second best.
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Sukuna isn't even trying to get over you. Not anymore.
On the first night after your breakup, he was a mess and stormed off to some bar, desperate for a distraction. Anything that would keep him from getting overwhelmed by his feelings.
He had some drinks and flirted with a random girl. Even took her home, thinking that sex would help him feel better. But the moment she tried to unbutton his shirt, Sukuna grabbed her wrists and stopped her.
It felt wrong. He felt wrong. As if he was cheating on you. He told the girl to leave and watched with his arms crossed as she angrily slammed his door shut before Sukuna sank down on his couch and buried his face in his hands.
He knew right then and there that it was no use to go out and try to have hookups. It wouldn't work, and it sure as hell would only make him feel worse.
In the following weeks, Sukuna worked longer and spent more time at the gym, always trying to stay busy because as soon as he got home to his deadly silent apartment, he was drowning in thoughts about you. Drowning in all those happy memories the two of you had made over the years.
You were Sukuna's love, his heart, his everything. He hadn't known or understood love until he met you. So how is he supposed to ever get over you and move on? It's impossible. You are still his everything, and you will always be.
And so it's clear as day to Sukuna that he won't even try to move on. He knows he will always be yours, whether you are together or not. He was only able to give his heart away once. And even if you don't want it anymore, it still belongs to you.
+++
Sukuna spends two days every week with his daughter, happy to see his little girl but sad because he misses the time when all three of you did things together. And when she looks at him with your eyes and asks him, "Daddy, why don't you just come home again?" Sukuna feels his heart shatter into a million pieces.
Sukuna doesn't know what to tell her. He, too, can't understand why the two of you decided to break up. It was stupid. Nothing big caused it. Just small things that added up, and looking back they seem insignificant.
"I don't know, princess. Maybe Daddy should really go home and talk to Mommy."
He decides at that moment that he will get roses and come up to your door this evening.
+++
Sukuna's chest feels painfully tight when you open the door, and he sees your face again after all those weeks, hitting him with just how much he missed you.
He hands you the roses, a beautiful huge bouquet that cost a little fortune, his eyes gazing deeply into yours,
"Please take those flowers. They come without any obligation to take me back or even talk to me. But I want to give them to you because you are still the mother of my child. And... and you will always be my woman, just like I will always be your man, even if we aren't together."
He fears he sounds like a creep, that he overstepped a boundary, and that he made you uncomfortable. But he has had lots of time to think during the last few weeks, and he promised himself that he would be more open about his feelings if he ever gets a chance to talk to you again.
You stare at Sukuna for a moment that feels like hours to him. But then he sees the tears gathering in your eyes and sees the way your hand that's holding the flowers is trembling. You breathe a soft "Kuna..." and Sukuna knows. He knows that you are still his, just like he is still yours.
He pulls you into his arms a split second later, crushing the beautiful roses between your bodies as he hugs you tightly. And you melt so perfectly against him as if you are made for him. Your face is pressed against his broad chest, and you snuggle against him, every centimeter of you touching him. You cling to him so tightly that it's almost painful, but it's the first time since your breakup that Sukuna feels like he can breathe again.
"I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything."
You both speak the words at the same time, eyes locked, small relieved smiles playing around your mouths.
You tell Sukuna to stay for dinner, and he agrees. He takes over the kitchen again, his kitchen, and prepares a dinner that he knows his two girls always loved. He sits at your table again, jokes around with his little daughter, and basks in the way you look at him with your eyes full of happiness.
Sukuna doesn't just stay for dinner but stays the whole night.
He kisses you after the two of you bring your daughter to bed. Pushes you gently against the wall and claims your lips again, though deep down, he knows that those lips always belonged to him, even when you were apart.
He grins when you laugh when he picks you up and carries you princess-style to the bedroom. Your lips are on his again, kissing him as if you can't get enough of him, making it hard to walk, but Sukuna would find his way to your bedroom even blind.
He locks the door behind you, turning around only to find your hands on his chest, unbuttoning his shirt while your lips find his again in another passionate but tender kiss that makes Sukuna moan softly into your mouth.
He makes slow love to you in the bed you bought together all those years ago, showing you what it feels like to be loved and desired and cherished endlessly. And you wrap your arms and legs around him and meet each of his slow thrusts while you moan his name softly, and tears run down your cheeks, showing Sukuna the same love he is showing you.
Sukuna doesn't leave again after that night.
The two of you talk things out, and only a week later, Sukuna finally puts a ring on your finger and tells your little daughter that she needs to pick a pretty dress because she will be a flower girl at the wedding.
And only a month later, you place a positive pregnancy test on Sukuna's pillow, making both of you burst out laughing when you realize that you and Sukuna must have made another baby that first night when he came back and brought you the roses.
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Thank you so much for the ask! It made me feel so many things, so I had to get these feelings out and write this little story 😭 I hope you enjoyed it and that it made you emotional, too. How could there ever be anyone else after Sukuna? It's really not possible 😭
Thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗
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gutghost · 1 year ago
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Imagine you get cheated on...BUT- the cheater turns kinda...yandere?
It felt like an awful nightmare. Bile rising in your throat as you looked at your lover - the person who you loved through their highest and their lowest, the person who you invested blood sweat and tears into, the person you promised yourself to - undoubtedly pressing their lips to another person's. It took a hot minute before you tried to step back, only for you to bump into the doorway, causing a loud thump. The two looked at you, one with horror, the other with confusion. It took you no time to turn around and make a run for it. A hiccup making its way out of your throat as you felt a sob start to shake through your body.
It's been afew months, well. More then few months since that incident, and safe to say you have been doing...fine. not great, but fine. You've decided to collect your things while your lover was away from the house, your friends and family helping you out as you found a new place to live. It was bare bones, considering you didn't take the shared couch, or tv, dressers, not even bed. But it was yours, and you've been getting by. You'd like to think you've gotten stronger.
That was until odd things started happening around your apartment. Things were being moved, shit you know you wouldn't misplace. Your clothes were going missing, much to your dismay. You barely had any, so to lose even one shirt was frustrating. Then roses started appearing in vases in your home. Seeing as actual items were showing up you decided to call the police, and when it seemed that the window to your bedroom was broken, seemingly from an outside force, they told you to invest in better security as they kept a look out.
Which is why you were going to the store so late at night, I mean, what could go wrong?
bad decision, you later decided as you looked at the scene infront of you. Your throat tight, bile rising, just like that night, the night you lost your true love. In front of you was your lover - now ex - looming disheveled, gasping for air as their voice broke, a small, unnerving, almost crazed look, crossing their features.
"My love, my everything, oh please-"
"Dont."
Your lip trembles as you step back, your look of surprise quickly turning into that of anger. They had no right to call out to you with such fondness, not after what they put you through. The pain and suffering, all due to the person who swore to love you.
A look of hurt crossed their face at the sight of you backing away from them, as if you kicked a puppy. The idea sickened you. Quick to try and close the space once more as they struggled to walk straight they would stumble forward. Their voice trembling as they fell to their knees, a whimper coming from them as they scrambled to grab at your sweatpants.
"Please - my love I beg of you, I know what i did was sin, I know - I've never been more sick in the mind then i was that night, oh I was so stupid, thinking I could ever so much as THINK of another woman! Even more so after wards, how could I think I could ever live without you??? You! Oh precious you, the sun only shines when you are near. Those next few weeks were torture my dear, I've never wanted anything more then to RIP MY SKIN OFF WHEN I REALIZED MY MISDEEDS."
Their insane rambling continued as you tried to shove them off, tears starting to stream down their gaunt cheeks. Had they been eating? You wondered as you tried to get them off you.
"I'm...i'm better now though! I've never been thinking clearer, I came to a realization life isn't worth living without you! But by then- you...- you had already left, I tore through that house to try and find you but you had already been far gone. I asked your family, your friends - but all of them simply turned me away, your LOVER - isn't that what I am? I am, aren't i?? They should've...they-"
You couldn't listen to this anymore. A disgusted feeling filling your gut. What did you ever see in them?? You quickly shoved them away, a small gasp coming from them as you stepped away, your ex lover falling backwards onto the sidewalk. A look so firey resting on your face it could rival the heat from the depths of hell.
"You lost that right. You lost it the moment you took that person into your arms, the moment you brought them into our home, the moment you pressed your lips against theirs."
They seemed dumbfounded, sobs starting to wash over their body as they tried to sputter out apologies. But you had none of it.
"Did you get a kick out of it? Seeing me suffer? Seeing me jealous as you placed your hands on that person's? Your lips on them? When i left did you just go right back to kissing on them? Fucking them??"
You spat at them, your ex lover crying their heart out as they struggle to breathe. Whether it be from guilt or heartbreak, you weren't sure. They shook their head as they continued to cry, trying once again to reach out to you, to hold onto you for that comfort you once so readily gave them. But you stepped back, putting space between you once more. A scoff coming from you as you did so
"Baby please don't do this to me, please please please-"
Their voice wavered heavily. Some part of you, the part buried deep down in your heart, ached at the sight of them so broken down. They looked ill, both mentally and physically. But what done was done. You quickly turned on your heels as you made your way home. Your ex lovers cries filling the street as he urged you to come back, to not leave him. To not abandon him.
Maybe some sick part of you felt good that you left them a blubbering mess, after all. They rept what they sown, did they not?
Little did you know, oh how blissfully unaware you were. They were gonna get you back, one way or another. They will have you back in their arms, with all those roses they left in your apartment in pretty vases all over your newly bought home in the woods, far from everyone.
They will have you be their's again.
that corpse that once used to be their side piece left rotting under the concrete of their basement proves it.
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mommypieck · 11 months ago
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let's talk about short boys who aren't ashamed of their height anymore but now there's one thing they wish they could hide... and that's their big balls. poor boy is so scared you're gonna make fun of him when you see him naked. he doesn't like how big they are and how they hang, making his cock look almost too small. his bad thoughts disappear when you take them inside of your mouth. you're basically obssesed with them. he's a bit confused when you make him put his balls in your mouth as he works. you just love praising him like that so much. poor boy can't even concentrate as you lick and suck on his balls.
"will you suck my cock?" he asks shily, but you shake your head at him.
"i still want to give them attention. don't you like it?" you give him the best puppy eyes you can master and his cock springs right into your face.
"i love it... but I don't like them." he cums way faster when you play with his balls and you both know it.
"and i love them. let me suck on them and im gonna suck you off as a reward."
it ends with compromise everytime. and it also ends with his balls being completely empty because of how many times he cums. maybe one day he will realize that it's him asking for a blowjob after he just came from ball sucking, what's making him so spend.
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deadsnakey · 3 months ago
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✩𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃✩ ✩𝐒𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒✩
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 —> 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄, 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐓 & 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐊𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐄.
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𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐈𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑...𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍?
—> FLUFF, MAYBE A LITTLE ANGSTY, A LITTLE SUGGESTIVE POSSIBLY, THREE HUGE IDIOTS WHO ARE MAJOR FUCK BOYS WITH MAJOR FUCK BOY MINDSETS.
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MATTHEO RIDDLE
✩ it took him so long to start remembering that your touches aren't always to rile him up or for sex.
✩ like, deadass probably took him like three months before he started naturally not automatically thinking you wanna get clapped by him.
✩ when y'all first started dating? Omgggg you couldn't even hold his hand for longer then 10 minutes (on a good day) without him getting inappropriately handy with you.
✩ like???? We're in class???wtf??😭
✩ then you'd tell him you just wanted to feel him and show him your affection and he's like ???
✩ sooo...we still fuckin Orr???😭💀
✩ please be patient with him!! He's trying, for you.
✩ it literally doesn't matter how innocent or small the affection is or If it's in public or not he'll immediately think you want him deep inside you.
✩ but!!!! Like I said he gets better you just have to be patient and constantly reassure him politely that it's not in a freaky way !!
✩ and that you just want give him love because you're head over heels with him!!!
✩ Clingiest mf anytime anywhere
THEODORE NOTT
✩ he probably was a little better with it, also considering he fucks the least out of the three I feel like.
✩ so maybe a month and a half to not automatically think you wanna get ruined by him by innocent touching and affection.
✩ like, at first he'll think you wanna get some action, then he remembers what you told him countless of times
✩ before tho? Girrlllll immediately smirking and bricked hard in his pants yo!!!
✩ LMAO the confusion on your face was tooooo good girl y'all laugh at it looking back now that he's not like that anymore
✩ but no seriously it wasn't too bad considering enzo
✩ but still pretty bad, once in potions you slowly and gently held his hand under the table and dude got hard immediately and stared holes into yo head yo
✩ but looked at him confused and he raised his eyebrows, smirking and you've never let go of someone's hand so quickly before omg😭
✩ you kinda refused to initiate physical affection for a week maybe two after that
✩ but after lots of talking, he tried to be better but pls dont be mad if he gets bricked!!!
✩ he gets batter and smothering you in love (mostly in private) isn't as chaotic as before.
LORENZO BERKSHIRE
✩ tbh? Like, five months lol.
✩ look, he still gets stuck in his fuck boy mindset sometimes this is nuovo to him be patient.
✩ like I think month four, it got better and only sometimes he thought you had nsfw intentions but then he's like "yo snap out of it she's just giving you a friendly hug."
✩ yeah, I don't think it completely goes away unfortunately, but he definitely gets wayyy better at it and knowing more times then not you just wanna love him up.
✩ but before?? Nahhh don't even TRY to hold his hand let alone in public girl pee yew
✩ a Hand slithers to your thigh and next thing you know he's trying to maul you with hickies right there present timing
✩ like bruhhh I js wanted to hold your hand because I love you!!!! Is that so hard to ask for?💔
✩ but after you talked to him mf was confused as hell like ... You DONT wanna fuck me or vise versa???☹️💔💔💔
✩ like girl no that's not what you were trying to say I fear😭💀
✩ but he does learn eventually to not immediately think sum dirty....now it's after a little too much affection he thinks you want him bad and boy are you in for a ride.
✩ lovesssss touching and being near you, physical affection is def his main love language and it's sweet and nice and peaceful when he's not getting hard or too hansy.
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Thank you @slytherin-princess-x for requesting! Hope you enjoy!💗💗
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junityy · 10 months ago
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🕸 — stay.
pairing. spider-man!jake x fem!reader genre. fluff, slight angst, slightly suggestive?? wc. 2k warnings. for context, this is the #infamous scene in the amazing spiderman 1 when peter shows up hurt at gwens window!! and yes im including the lizard LMAO and jake is kinda down Bad note. THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG.... and also NOT how i wanted but erm well.. spiderman jake is truly all i can think about so i hope you enjoy!!!
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You were just finishing up your chemistry homework when Jake leaned against your window frame outside, and lightly knocked against your window. By now, this had become a routine-like thing, so you didn't even flinch.
The first time he did that, though, you felt slightly creeped out before letting him in regardless - because, after all, you do live on the 21st floor. The second time he did that, you started getting used to it. After all, your boyfriend just so turned out to be Spider-man. It was just something you'd get used to sooner rather than later.
Turning around and telling him, “Come in.”, you could already feel your lips form into a smile like that of a little kid's. Jake does as you said and opens the window, slowly climbing inside while you quickly save your homework document in the meantime.
“So, big guy, what was saving New York like today?” you joke before turning around to look at him. Though, once you see Jake holding onto your armchair for stability, your smile fades as quickly as it appeared and you get up when your eyes scan his body - three major scratches across his chest, along with other small wounds across his face (though these are a given by now). But also- scratches? No, it looks more like someone tried to slice him up with.. you don't even know what. Knives? This big? You can only imagine how he got these.
“Different, for sure.” he replies in a joking manner (even though there is no smile), and you can hear just a tiny bit of the pain he must be in in his voice.
“Jake?” you end up whispering as you walk towards him, and he simply lets himself fall onto your armchair before you sit down beside him.
“Seems that reptiles aren't my biggest fans.” he jokes; now smiling as he lets his head fall back while trying to catch his breath. In the meantime, you can't help but scan his wounds up close and - it's safe to say, someone (or something) possibly did try to slice him up from the looks of it.
“Reptiles?” you repeat, the confusion in your voice being very easy to identify; something Jake had already seen coming though, so that is far from surprising.
Before speaking up to elaborate further, he lifts his head again to look at you up close, then explains; “Remember that thing on the bridge yesterday? The thing that was ‘bigger’ than a human.. Well, turns out it's actually some kind of giant, mutant lizard. And it's living in the sewers, apparently.”
“A what?” raising your eyebrows in shock immediately, you can't help but blink in utter confusion a few times - at least before your eyes find their way back to his chest, and some dots start to connect by themselves. Well, his wounds make a little sense now at least. Still, neither of you could deny that ‘giant mutant lizard’ doesn't sound absolutely insane - so naturally, it takes you a second to process and.. imagine what that fight must've looked like just now.
“You're..” you frown; making eye contact with your boyfriend again after breaking it shortly. Jake on the other hand can't seem to even think about taking his eyes off of you. As per usual. “You're telling me you're fighting.. giant lizards?” you simply add. You're also certain that no matter how you would've worded this, it would sound equally just as crazy.
But, well.. your boyfriend IS Spider-man after all. So really, nothing should probably surprise you anymore. If you had to guess, things would, most likely, only get crazier from here on.
“Yeah. Well, they suck.” Jake scoffs, followed by another smile on his face, but he quickly groans in pain right after; your eyes still fixated on his wounds. It’s not like he'll die of them, so you try telling yourself to stop being so dramatic, but still.. it's a sight you'd rather not get too used to.
You hate seeing him like this. Usually, you're pretty used to seeing him with small or at least smaller wounds by now, but this? This is.. low-key crazy. You keep telling yourself that he is literally Spider-man, and that there's.. kinda no way to avoid getting hurt, yet all you hope for is to see him in one piece every single time. And it seems that the longer he keeps doing what he's doing, the chances of seeing him at all keep getting slimmer. Which is something that truly keeps you up at night, easily causing goosebumps all over your body.
“Hey.” Jake quietly says, simply to bring you back to reality once he notices you're lost in thoughts, and the next thing you feel is his hand on your cheek, softly cupping it.
Once you're actually back, you properly reconnect the eye contact you so love with him again. “What is it?” he questions not too long after, barely whispering while trying to read your expression. You, on the other hand, just remain silent; swallowing, before taking a sharp breath.
“Take this off, I'll take care of it.” pretty much avoiding the question, you point to his suit instead (or at least the upper part of it) - since, every time Jake has come here, you took care of him and his injuries. And today was gonna be no different.
While he makes sure the city is okay, you need to make sure he's okay. And vice versa, Jake has to make sure you're okay, by coming back to you every time like promised. New York could be safe for all he wants - only seeing your face every time makes him feel truly safe and sound.
And so again, he does as you say; moving to sit on the floor while leaning against your bed, he watches you do your little magic in silence. Silence, awe, admiration - it's all the same when it comes to you, really. He doesn't even deserve you, Jake thinks to himself. Like he does everyday.
Your ‘little magic’ though, simply includes disinfecting his wounds first; a process the both of you have gotten used to by now.
Once he's rolled down his suit a little, you begin to carefully pat his chest with the tissue again and again, so careful as if he'd break if you made one wrong move. Which.. seems sort of funny. You're patching up the Spider-man after all.
Jake, in the meantime, can't seem to take his eyes off of you again, so he simply doesn't. Instead, he watches your every move like his life depends on it. The look in your eyes has changed. You've gone quiet. Like, awfully quiet.
“Y/N.” he tries again after just a moment - after you clearly avoided his question the first time. When you look up just the tiniest bit, you're immediately met with his eyes on you already in no time. Oh. His eyes. “What is it?” he repeats, hoping to get you to talk this time.
Looking at him, it takes you a few moments to even form a somewhat coherent thought. Sometimes you wish you could just stop time and stay like this. With him, here. Forever.
Sure, being Spider-man's girlfriend had its perks - like Jake taking you with him to swing around New York together. Surely.. an original experience! But it also meant praying he'd come home to you every time there was trouble in the city.
“I'm just scared for you, is all.” you sigh quietly, tilting your head a tiny bit. For just a moment, silence enters, and it feels like you're falling in love with him all over again. You're just glad he's here.
“You won't lose me.” Jake assures you in the softest tone possible and immediately brings his hand back to your cheek, only to bring your face closer to his. Close enough to place a kiss on your lips, a reassuring one. A kiss that, as you both know, says something words wish they could truly encapsulate. Breaking the kiss for a short, simple “I promise.”, he immediately reconnects your lips again like he'd suffocate if he didn't.
What starts as a lovely, reassuring kiss, quickly seems to turn into something much more intimate when you feel Jake rest his other hand on your waist only to pull you as close as possible; to feel your body right against his.
Spider-man might have impressive healing abilities that are above those of the average person, but Jake felt as if having you near him was already enough healing.
“I love you.” he breathes into the kiss, and quickly tries to catch his breath when you do the same for a second. Your faces still dangerously close, all you seem to be able to get out is a “I love you too.” that sounds very out of breath, like you were the one fighting a giant mutant lizard just before.
Bringing your hand up to rest on the side of his neck, Jake can't help but sigh when he backs off a tiny bit, only so he can get a good look at you. God, you're beautiful he thinks to himself. Basically looking at you the same way he did when he first told you he loved you, he automatically moves the few strands of hair out of your face; tucking them behind your ear, while his eyes simply shine with admiration. But mostly love.
“I just love you, Y/N.” your boyfriend repeats while shaking his head slightly, and sounding completely hopeless as if he just accepted that he is, indeed, hopelessly in love with you. Though, that was more or less the case anyway.. it still is, actually. Watching his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips, Jake speaks up again in a low voice, “You won't lose me.”. However this time, it's a promise rather than a reassurance.
Your eyes lighting up with pure love at his words and the look in his eyes, you can't seem to hide the way your lips are forming into another tiny smile - so you decide to just let them speak by placing them on his once again.
It's like your lips were perfectly made for each other, especially when Jake tilts his head a tiny bit more to deepen the kiss - his hand still on your neck, and if it were to go after him, he'd never remove it again. It's like you were perfectly made for each other.
“Jake.” you mumble into the kiss, yet keep it going because his lips feel a little too good moving against yours. Although you don't wanna let go, you (sadly) do end up breaking the kiss - which causes Jake to immediately look at you as you're gathering your thoughts one by one.
“I need to ask you a favour. It'll sound really selfish, though.” you begin quietly, only to receive a promising nod from his side, waiting for you to continue curiously while his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips again. Swallowing, you carefully ask, “You know I love that you're Spider-man, but can you just be Jake for tonight and stay?” Yeah, you were right about it sounding kinda selfish. Jesus.
But, like, it's true, and you couldn't really figure out a better way to word it. I mean, obviously you love that he's Spider-man - literally who wouldn't? But it's true that you love Jake Sim more. Even if just a tiny bit, which is why you want, - or need, actually - him with you tonight. Just Jake. Just the two of you.
“It doesn't sound selfish.” is the first thing he says in response, slightly shaking his head for further assurance. You're not only glad about it, but you feel your heartbeat increase rapidly when you see yet another smile form on his face, which (thank god), he doesn't even try to hide as it's getting too big. “Actually,” he lightly scoffs, biting on his lip as you watch him do so (it drives you nuts every time).
“I was hoping you'd say that, princess.” is the last thing he says before pulling you in for a kiss much, much more intimate than the ones before.
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taglist @tyunni @geombyu @jaeyunverse @yjwfav @sieuneo @beombisou @neos127
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chalametluvrz · 10 months ago
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dating timothee chalamet
timothee x afab!reader (mainly gn! expect on nsfw bits)
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towards the start of the relationship, i think he'd be pretty anxious
he'd often find himself messing around with his hands a lot on dates
or stumbling over his words a little too much with a small giggle
if you've ever seen old interviews of him when he was younger. you know the ones where he gets all shy and giggly? that's exactly how i envision him to be with you
after some time, that's slowly replaced with his hyperactive ass
and let me tell you, boy never shuts the fuck up that's not a bad thing
because of his schedule, he rarely gets to see you in person
so whenever he does, he just has so much to tell you and so much to talk about that he just ends up coming out with a cluster-fuck of words
he always tries to facetime you at least a couple times a week
and let me tell you, the call will always start with him saying 'oh, i missed your pretty face' or 'seeing you has made my day'
boy is madly in love
and even though he hasn't said it yet, it's fairly obvious he's not hiding anything
he's the kind of person to want to keep your relationship on the down low
because if you're also famous, he wouldn't want to cause any issues or drama through tabloids
and if you aren't, he'd feel awful dragging you into the world of hollywood
eventually though, as most celeb relationships do, you got found out
someone caught you out on your 6 months anniversary
and that was it; twitter was going mental
timothee soon figured out that he probably had to say something
but honestly, he was kind of relieved he didn't have to hide you anymore
the morning you two woke up and saw yourselves going viral on twitter, there was a bit of a mad scramble between the two of you
before eventually, timothee chilled out
'but now i don't need to hide we're together, anymore. i can let the world know you're mine.' he'd say to your confusion at his relaxed state
cute but also now all of timmy's fans are stalking your instagram
cooking meals together!!!
i have a feeling timothee's love languages are more tailored towards physical touch and acts of service tell me im wrong
so cooking together is such a beautiful thing for him
as much as timothee loves taking you out, i think he'd much prefer to cook a fancy pasta dish together with wine over that any day
he also strikes me as a cosy movie date guy
but honestly, it more than likely turns into something else
don't fight me on his, he's a horny guy
like bro would get a hard-on just snuggling with you
when you first started dating, he'd get all shy about it
he'd apologise frantically and his face would be redder than ever
after dating for some time, he'd be less phased
unless you showed and expressed discomfort with it of course
after the shock of you dating slowly weaved out of the fans
timothee would definitely start posting you on his instagram
he just needed the world to know how obsessed he is with you
arguments are rare
extremely rare
they usually only happen when timothee is stressed
feelings get heated and you end up making some snippy comments at each other before one of you gets up and leaves the room
after you've both had time to cool down, you're both mature enough to talk it out and apologise for whatever each of you or one of you has done
communication is a big thing for timmy, so i think arguments are heavily avoided because he encourages you to come to him about anything
any concerns, rants and problems you have, he wants to know
he's a flirter, let me tell you that thankfully not with others
always dazzling you with compliments
you're in the crowd at a press tour? he's staring, smirking and winking at you the whole time
you're supporting him whilst he's on set? the man can't take his eyes off you and is coming to hold you the second the shot is taken
you're on facetime? every odd sentence is him saying some suggestive comment or simply how stunning you are
the man cannot get enough of you
going back to the horny thing...
he has a high sex drive
there's absolutely no doubt about it
he is a giver!!! the man aims to please!!!
could eat you out for days
i've already made a headcanon about him eating you out so i will be brief BUT!!!
he's messy!!! the wetter the better!!!
will overstimulate you with hid tongue any day
and then make sure you cum on his cock as well
you know what they say about tall, skinny boys? wink wink
i'd say he's a good 7 inches, 7 1/2 at a push
he knows how to please you, and he's eager to learn what makes you tick
even though he's mainly a dom, i can see him being a sub at times
only on rare assurances though
being his date to things like the met gala, oscars etc
after being open about your relationship, he couldn't wait to take you everywhere and anywhere with him
loves it when you wear his clothes
but i feel like all boys do?
especially when he's away, opening up a facetime call to see you sat there in one of his t-shirts. he actually thinks his heart might implode.
this boy will actually love you with his whole heart
the cutest, softest and proudest boyfriend around fr
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pedroscurls · 3 months ago
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the first date (one-shot)
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summary: hugh takes you out for your first date. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader word count: 1.2k warnings/tags: fluff, implied age gap (reader is 30, hugh is 55), teasing, brief sexual tension, brief jealous!hugh, no use of y/n. a/n: shout out to this anon for this request! i had so much fun writing this and tbh, it's the only way i can live out my fantasies lol 🙂‍↕️ as always, this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman.
An hour into your date with Hugh and you can’t help but notice the way he’s looking at you from the rim of his glass. There had been an instant attraction you felt towards each other and this first date so far had been a dream. The age gap was a topic of conversation before you agreed on this date. You didn’t see a problem with the fact that he was old enough to be your father, but Hugh – well, it had taken quite a while for him to warm up to the idea of taking you out. 
He had tried to keep his distance, to be respectful, but after hearing you go on and on about a disaster of a date with another man, Hugh couldn’t hide his feelings for you anymore. The jealousy that he felt in the pit of his stomach lingered until he finally blurted out that he wanted to take you out on a real date. 
You were surprised, uncertain if he was just saying that because he felt bad or if he really did feel the same way you did. But you never asked. Instead, you agreed on going on a date with Hugh. 
And now, from the way he’s looking at you, you know that the feelings you have for him aren't just one-sided. You both still have to maintain some boundary, especially with Hugh being so well known in the public eye. Even after his divorce, he had been careful about who he wanted to be seen with. 
But with you? Well, with you, he didn’t care. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you finally ask him, brow arching upwards. 
“Like what?” 
“You know what.”
“I don’t,” he grins, setting his glass back down on the table. “Are you having a good time?”
You bite your lower lip and nod. “The best time, actually. Who knew these are what dates are supposed to be like?” 
Hugh laughs quietly and leans back against his seat, staring at you from across the small table. When he had picked you up that evening, you took his breath away. The black mid-length dress you were wearing clung to every curve – it was modest and elegant, but when you walked, the front side split showcased your leg and all he wanted to do was run his hands along you. 
Even now, Hugh can’t help but glance down at the exposed skin on your upper thigh when you cross your leg over the other. In the dim lighting, Hugh can see you so clearly. No one else in this restaurant mattered, the sound of chatter fading in the background until all he could focus on was you. 
“You’ve been going out with boys,” Hugh teases. “They don’t know a thing about taking a woman out on a proper date.” 
You roll your eyes. “Psh, boys,” you repeat. “At least the night ended with–”
“Don’t even bother finishing that sentence,” he growls. Hugh moves his seat next to yours as he drapes his arm on the back of your chair until he’s leaning into your personal space. He shuts his eyes and brushes his nose against your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo mixed in with your perfume. 
“Why not?” you ask teasingly, heart racing.
“Because I don’t wanna hear about it.” Hugh whispers, voice low and so dangerously close to your ear. “Besides, I doubt those boys treated you right.”
“How would you know, hm?” 
“Let me guess,” he continues, the hand on the back of your chair slowly moving to graze your upper arm. “Did you even get to come, baby? With those boys, did they make sure you were taken care of first?”
You feel the heat settle between your legs and you shift in your seat at his words. “I– uh…”
“You what?” Hugh leans in, brushes his lips against your earlobe. “Tell me. If your dates were always so shitty, did you at least get to come?” 
“Yes,” you lie. 
Hugh pulls away as if he can sense the dishonesty in your voice. He looks down at you, glancing between your eyes and down to your lips and back up. Then, he just grins and it irks you because you know that he caught onto your lie. And he’s fucking smug about it too. 
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” you tell him, bringing your hand up to tuck your hair away from your face and behind your ear. You clear your throat, leaning slightly back against the seat as you suddenly feel hot. Under Hugh’s gaze, you can feel the tension radiating between the both of you. Lingering in the air. 
“What a shame,” he ignores you. “Shitty dates and an even shittier way to end your nights.” 
“I manage just fine, thank you very much.” 
“Oh yeah? And how’s that?” 
You lift your hand and wiggle your fingers in a suggestive manner. You see his eyes narrow down at you and you know what he’s thinking, know where his mind had drifted off to. And now, it’s your turn to be smug. 
“Exactly,” you tell him. “Now, can we go and get dessert?” 
Hugh grins and then nods in your direction. “Whatever you want, baby.”
“It’s cold outside, I’ve given you my jacket, and now you’re eating ice cream,” Hugh points out, walking alongside you. 
You nod and grin up at him, gently nudging him with your shoulder. You feel warm and safe in his jacket and even though it’s well into nighttime, it feels oddly calming to walk the park without any distractions, illuminated by the city’s lights. 
“There is always a time for ice cream,” you giggle. 
Hugh smiles to himself and then wraps his arm around you, pulling you to his side as you both continue walking. He kisses the crown of your head as he thinks to himself. Hugh likes you, a lot, and your presence alone puts him at ease. 
“Want some?” you ask, lifting the small plastic spoon up in his direction. You’re gazing up at him with a hopeful glint in your eye and Hugh just smiles. He leans in and takes the spoonful of vanilla ice cream in his mouth and pulls away, seeing your eyes gaze down at his lips. 
“Thank you, baby.” 
You and Hugh continue to walk until you both hear the sound of quiet music in the park. You both walk towards it, noticing a man playing the guitar. You can see his eyes widen when he registers that you’re with Hugh Jackman, but Hugh just nods in his direction, drops some money in the guitar case before he turns his attention to you. 
“What?” you ask, tossing the small empty cup of ice cream at a nearby trash can. 
“Dance with me?” He extends a hand out for you and smiles in your direction. “Please?”
“Since you asked so nicely…” you take his hand and feel him pull you to him. You rest your free hand on his shoulder as he brings your joined hands to his chest, his free hand moving to rest on your lower back. Both of you sway to the sound of the music, eyes locked with each other’s, and it feels like it’s only the two of you in this world. 
Hugh leans in, resting his forehead against yours as he keeps his eyes locked with yours. “It’s been the best night,” he whispers. 
“Does it have to end?” you ask hesitantly. 
You can see the recognition flicker in his eyes, the familiarity of what you’re implying. “No, it doesn’t.”
“Take me back to your place?” 
“I thought you’d never ask, baby," he grins and leans in to press his lips against yours for the first time that night.
---
forever taglist: @haytchee @wolverigrl
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rebouks · 1 year ago
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Keeping Lag to a Minimum...
I was chatting about a few things I do to combat lag over on discord and realised I do quite a bit of maintenance to reduce lag/load times. I decided to write em all down and before I knew it, I had a big ol' list. Here's hoping it helps!
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Save/File Tips:
Clear your caches (located in the same spot as your mod folder fyi) I usually delete the onlinethumbnailcache, avatarcache and localthumbcache caches every time I exit the game, the main one to delete regularly is the localthumbcache file, they're just temporary files but it can get pretty big after a while.. if you're having any mod issues, particularly ui ones, it's always worth deleting that to see if it helps.
Remove any saves you're not using from your saves folder, and keep an eye on save file sizes. In my experience, any saves over around 30-40mb start to get a bit laggy. Things that bump this size up are the amount of townies in game and the amount of lots/objects in the world.
Regarding the above point, I regularly bulldoze lots I don't need anymore, just to save the game from having to cope with extra shit to load in the background and reduce save file bloat.
Similarly, I delete a lot of unnecessary townies. Also, try to keep the amount of outfits on townies to a minimum, ain't no townie need four swimsuit outfits, the game will thank you..
If you have cheats enabled you can usually shift-click/delete object on things like random coffee cups or stray cupcakes sims foolishly drop around the world (or eat em.. whatever tickles ur pickle) just get rid!
Whilst we're keeping objects in game to a minimum.. I try to clear sims inventories now and then, including townies. You can do this via mccc even if you're not currently playing that household by heading to MC Cleaner -> Sell Sim Inventory/Sell Household Inventory. RANDOM LUMPS OF CLAY BEGONE!
Think of a save file like a lot.. the more objects in it, the laggier it gets! Try your best to remove anything or anyone unnecessary where you can.
Hit "Save As" instead of "Save" now and then - the more you overwrite a save, the more chance it has of going wonky, treat your game to a fresh one now and then and remove the old one from your saves folder (maybe don't delete it right away in case you wanna roll back, keep it somewhere safe).
If you can (although ik it can be a pain) set up a new/fresh save, you'd be surprised how bogged down old ones can get! For legacy players, it's usually best to do this whenever you have a small family to save yourself some pain, since you can just save the household and take em to a new save (you will lose sims inventories/household inventories/relationships with sims outside the household tho so beware! Pictures/other collectables can be saved to a lot however, and you can always cheat back relationship bits etc.. bit of a last resort but new saves are shiny and fast!)
Make sure your Screenshots/Video folders are empty - move em somewhere else, it works, trust me. If you have a lot of custom music installed try n' clear some of those out too.. the smaller that Sims 4 directory is, the better.
Delete any last exceptions/last crashes (same spot as your mod folder again) you don't need em unless you're planning to upload em somewhere for help.
Settings Etc:
If you get a bad lag spike, opening the main menu and/or saving can randomly stop this. If it doesn't, try exiting the game, clearing your localthumbcache and restarting.
Clearing all notifications from the game panel can also help.
If you can, close all other apps and background apps you don't need whilst playing, ts4 is super memory hungry so it can definitely help.
The GraphicsRules Override file by Simp4Sims can reduce lag/latency and make your game look a little better in the process!
Srslysims Simulation Lag Fix mod can help reduce lag too (if you've altered the game speed via mccc tho, don't use this unless you plan on resetting it to default).
If you aren't keen on, or barely use a pack, consider disabling it.
Not ideal, especially for those of us taking screenshots, but lowering the graphics settings whilst playing definitely helps.
If you use re/g-shade, consider switching it off whilst playing and only turn it on for screenshots.
A clean and tidy pc/laptop runs better in general. Remove anything you're not using/don't need anymore to free up space, remove temp files, clean up your folders now and again etc etc.. especially that dreaded mod folder, speaking of...
Managing Mods:
SORT OUT YOUR MODS FOLDER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.. skdsjdjs it doesn't have to be immaculate but at the very least try n' clear it out now n' then. Also try to separate your script mods/overrides from the rest, patch days don't need to be so stressful ;-;
Personally, I don't merge my mods; if something breaks it's much harder to pinpoint! It makes it easier to find/delete specific mods too.. and let's face it, there's usually one or two items in that set you could do without lmaooo.. also, don't think it helps much tbh! Yeah you could say the game doesn't have to work as hard to load merged files but that's debatable, it's still the same amount of items/polys at the end of the day ¯\(°_o)/¯
If you like merging files and/or see results from doing so, you can merge stuff you definitely know you're never getting rid of, especially CAS/BB stuff.. but steer clear of merging gameplay/script mods! If a merged file seems to be the culprit when using the 50/50 method, try unmerging it and 50/50ing it again! You might not need to get rid of everything if something's borked.
Bulk Rename Utility can be used to remove all spaces and special characters from your mod files, the game doesn't particularly like loading those so it'll thank you.
The Sims 4 Mod Manager is a great way to sort through your mods, you can easily see, move and delete files from here (not great for build/buy, poses etc as thumbnails are usually missing, but great for CAS stuff). An extra hint with this that I've noticed is that if any of my mods get renamed with [D1] at the beginning after looking through them via the mod manager, it means it's a duplicate file so you can get rid.
I also use the Sims 4 Tray Importer to help me sort through mods. Simply save a sim/lot with any cc you don't want and find it in the importer, you can then go through all the cc in the cc tab and delete/sort it (I also use this to sort cc if a bunch has the wrong tags etc, makes it easier to find in my folders by saving em to a lot or w/e - it also spots duplicates which is handy).
It's a ballache, but the 50/50 method is tried and tested if you're having issues.
I like to keep an abandoned cc folder tucked away somewhere, that way you can remove mods willy nilly without stressing about losing them. If you change your mind, you can always grab it back!
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perseidlion · 3 months ago
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Streaming in Kaos
Well, it happened. I can't say that I'm surprised that KAOS has been cancelled by Netflix. I am a little surprised at the speed at which it was axed. Only a month after it aired, and it's already gone.
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That has me wondering if the decision to cancel was made before the show even aired. We have to remember that marketing is the biggest cost after production. If the Netflix brass looked at the show and either decided (through audience testing, AI stuff or just their own biases) that it wasn't going to be a Stranger Things-level hit, they probably chose at that moment to slash its marketing budget.
That meant there was pretty much no way that KAOS was ever going to hit the metrics Netflix required of it to get a season 2.
What makes me so angry about this (other than the survival of a show relying on peoples' biases or AI) is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you decide before a show is ever going to air that it won't be a success, then it probably won't be. If you rely on metrics and algorithms and AI to analyze art, you will never let something surprise you. You'll never let it grow. You'll never nurture the cult hits of the future or the next franchise.
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Netflix desperately needs people behind the scenes that believe in stories and potential over metrics. Nothing except the same old predictable dreck is ever going to be allowed to survive if you don't believe in the stories you're telling.
The networks and streamers have a huge problem on their hands. They need big hits and to build the franchises of the future to sustain their current model (which is horribly broken.) But people have franchise fatigue and aren't showing up for known IPs like they used to. The fact that Marvel content is definitely not a sure thing anymore is a huge canary in the coal mine for franchise fatigue. People aren't just tired of Marvel, they're tired of the existing worlds both on the big screen and the small one. Audiences are hungry for something new.
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It is telling that the most successful Marvel properties of the last few years have been the ones that do something different. Marvel is smart to finally pull out The X-Men because that is a breath of fresh air and something people are hungry to see more of.
There's pretty much no one behind the scenes (except for maybe AMC building The Immortal Universe) that is committing to really taking the time to build these new worlds. Marvel built the MCU by playing the long game. That paid dividends for a solid decade even if it's dropping off now. That empire was built not with nostalgia for existing IP (don't forget the MCU was built with B and C tier heroes) but with patience. Marvel itself seems to have forgotten this in recent years.
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Aside from that, I think people really want stories that aren't connected to a billion other things. That takes commitment on the part of the audience to follow and to get attached to. People WANT three to five excellent seasons of a show that tells its own story and isn't leaving threads out there for a dozen spinoffs. We're craving tight storytelling.
KAOS could have been that. Dead Boy Detectives could have been that. So could Our Flag Means Death, Lockwood and Co, Shadow and Bone, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, Willow, and a dozen other shows with great potential or were excellent out of the gate.
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If you look at past metrics, you only learn what people used to like, not what they want now. People are notoriously bad about articulating what they want, but boy do they know it when they see it. Networks have to go back to having a dozen moderate successes instead of constantly churning through one-season shows that get axed and pissing off the people who did like it in a hamfisted attempt to stumble on the next big thing.
The networks desperately need to go back to believing in their shows. Instead, they keep cutting them off at the knees before they ever get a chance because some algorithm told them the numbers weren't there.
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toruro · 1 year ago
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LO$ER=LO♡ER
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pt 2
tags: smut (18+), toxic relationship, pet names (princess)
a/n: someone get me out of this toxic!svt brainrot. or maybe send me more asks abt it. either work. if this is incoherent i'm sorry i've been smoking too much tn
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thinking about your toxic best friend mingyu.
he's not too bad actually—at least that's what you tell everyone. you wonder if you're maybe trying to convince yourself of it too.
he's the sweetest, really. gets you flowers for any big occasion, treats you for every small accomplishment—he got you the coat you'd been eyeing for ages when you finally got the guts to kick your shitty roommate out, bought you your favorite box cake when you got that small promotion, brought over your go-to boba order when you told him you finished all of your work early and had an extra free day, and—you get it.
mingyu's the best best friend anyone could ask for, honest! which is why you're just a little extra lenient with him when he scared off your last talking stage.
it was an accident! mingyu swears! he tells you he didn't even know that you and jimin were talking like that. (you ignore how there are texts between the two of you from just three days earlier where you told him you were going on a date. mingyu's forgetful, he tells you.) one thing led to the next and the last time you and jimin were hanging out with your group of friends, mingyu might've gotten just a bit too close.
jimin called things off with you the next night. said he can't be friends with someone who's got a puppy on their trail.
all your other friends bring it up too. how you're both just so close. how you've known each other for so long. how you look so nice together. sometimes you shake your head and deny it. tell them "it's not like that!" that you and gyu are "just best friends!"
it's the little things, you've realize. the little things, that lead you to believe that mingyu isn't as sweet as he lets on.
more often that not, mingyu beats you to the punchline, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pressing your cheeks against his, grinning when he says, "well who wouldn't love their best friend when it's her."
you talked to him about it after the first time he said that. told him he can't let other people think that you're dating 'cause you're not. mingyu got a little pissed. pouted a little. told you that you were being a shitty best friend, 'cause a shitty best friend wouldn't push him away like this.
you haven't brought it up since.
maybe it's because you're scared of being a shitty best friend, as gyu put it—scared of losing him (because are you really anything, if not mingyu's best friend?). maybe it's because you don't wanna fight it anymore.
maybe it's because you're just a little too fond of the feeling of his big, veiny hands running all over your body.
"you like it princess?" mingyu chuckles when he clambers on top of you on his couch, pressing you into the soft cushions. you two share a wet kiss as you throw your head back, legs spreading instinctively to allow him to clamber between your legs.
slowly, he lips leave yours and begin to trail sloppy kisses down your chin, jawline, finally settling on sucking at your neck. you're not quite sure how you ended up in this position, but as your mind grows hazy, you vaguely remember the argument that got you here.
(mingyu might've blocked the guy you were talking to on instagram, from your account at that. you aren't sure how he got your password, but mingyu swears that isn't the point. why don't you trust him? don't you know that he just wants what's best for you? he knows that guy wasn't good enough for you anyways. don't you trust him to know what's best for you? c'mon, let him prove it to you ...)
"see princess?" he murmurs, slipping his hands beneath your shirt and riding the flimsy cloth over your stomach and bra-covered tits. he lifts his head up to gaze down at you, cheeks flushed as your back arches upwards and into his touch as he continues to rub his rough palms all over your torso and soft tits. "i know what's good for you ..."
the words reverberate in your skull when he starts to tug at the waistband of your sweats, pushing them down only a little so he can rub his fingers over your clit through the fabric of your panties. when you moan loudly, mingyu grins.
"there she is ..." he grunts, rubbing tight circles over the growing wetness before slipping his shirt over his head. "c'mon ... lemme be the best best friend," he pleads, and you don't even have a moment to think about what you're doing before you're shoving your pants all the way down so they pool at your knees.
"shit, gyu—please!" you cry out, eyes the painfully large tent that rests between his legs and under his jeans. because if mingyu is anything, it's your best friend, and you'd be damned if you let anything—anyone—get in the way of that.
read pt 2 here!
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lucy90712 · 6 months ago
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kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him
A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up
Do it. Just do it. 
I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.
How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support. 
It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks. 
Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds. 
~~~~~~~~~~
It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick. 
Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that. 
No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine. 
"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked 
"Yeah I'm fine" I said 
"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said 
"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted 
None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say. 
Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking. 
“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said 
Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown. 
“What is this?” He asked 
“I’m pregnant” I said 
“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled 
“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked 
“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said 
“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly 
“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned 
“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said 
“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked 
“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said 
Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now. 
After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already. 
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audisive · 1 year ago
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♪ PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY.  sad girl alternative
౨ৎ simon 'ghost' riley | reader
synopsis: you've had a bad day, simon's there to fix it.
tags: comfort, crying, self-indulgent, fluff
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  Your head laid on the skin of his arm, your face pushed into the comfort of his chest. The sharp edges of your earrings – your favorite ones, he recalls – sank and dug into his skin meanly, but he couldn't care less. As disgusting as it sounds, it could not compare to the way his heart ached to protect your own when he hears you take sharp inhales just to exhale with a sob, sniffles occasionally there to accompany your weeping. It was anything but his priority with the way his arms tightened around you and the way he'd hoped it would be enough to ease your worries and take your pain away; pass it onto him if you must. Anything to make you feel better.
Oh, the things he'd be willing to but could not do to instead receive a painfully unfunny joke from you in the place of your sobs. He settles on wiping the tears off your face, knowing how it makes you feel when it dries and sticks to your skin uncomfortably. The small droplets were everywhere and increased with every passing minute, but he took the time to wipe them off one by one. Had you not been in agony, you would've been in awe at the way this gigantically scary man was being so gentle with you; it was one of the best reminders of how his heart belonged to you and how well he'd taken care of your own.
Simon holds you forever – at least that's what it feels like – and whispers sweet nothings into your ear to distract you, even just for a little bit. "'S fine," he reassures you, each word filled with promise and not an ounce of doubt. "You'll be okay, y'hear me? I got you." It's warm, and he still faintly smells of gun powder, mixed with the well-used cologne you'd bought him for his birthday last year. You don't pay any mind to the smell of tobacco lingering; you know it's not his.
You've long since learned – all thanks to him – to refrain from apologizing for your show of vulnerability and emotions. It leaves you guilty, still, eating you up at night with the knowledge of his uneasiness when it comes to emotions, but for him, nothing's better than learning to get over his fears with his one and only love. Love always makes us do things we don't want to, right?
His arms found the way to wrap themselves around you heavily like a weighted blanket hours ago and have continued to stay. It serves as a comfort for you, along with his words. In his sweater, his arms, his bed, his room. He's all you can see and all you can feel, but you're not complaining, and neither is he.
You calm down after a moment, letting your breathing grow steady while the wet spots of tears in his sweater dried up. Simon Riley hates to see you cry, but damn it if he can't be the one to comfort you.
"There's m' pretty girl," he whispers in that charmingly rough yet gentle voice of his, looking down at the way your lashes glisten with salty little tears when you find the strength to press your cheek to his chest instead of burying your face in the warm surface. "Feelin' better now, sweets?" He's so terribly sweet to and with you that you think you might cry again just because. You barely even nod, but you know he notices; he always does.
"Y'wanna talk about it?" His hand plants itself onto your back; it gives you a sense of stability. Everything about him is so large in a way that engulfs you whole, and it would terrify any sane person. Perhaps you aren't, not anymore, but you found the warmth and comfort of your home in him. He kisses your forehead without so much as a pause when you shake your head. "A'right, we'll jus' stay here, then."
And stay, you do, cuddled up against him. It doesn't take long before all the crying takes its toll on you, your head starts to hurt, and your eyelids start to give up. Before you know it, you're pulled into the deep depths of unconsciousness. It's too early into the night; you've skipped two meals, and you've worked yourself near death. You know full well that you'll wake up with a raging headache after crying yourself to sleep, too. You'll wake up too early in the morning; your muscles will be sore, and you're still starving. You might as well pass out immediately after waking up.
Still, you sleep at ease and without worry. Why would you not? Simon will be there to fix it. ♡
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  divider by @cafekitsune !
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