#and the scale picking is common

[yellow-artz]

Ugliness of curiosity

[thepersonperson]

Backstory theory for Sukuna? I wanted to say Kenjaku and Tengen too but let's just stick with Sukuna for the sake of your sanity

(Written as of JJK 262 using TCB scans and raws. Click images for captions/citations. I want to see how poorly or well this ages.)

I already kind of went into how I think Sukuna’s birth occured answering this ask, and we know for a fact he was born as an unwanted little wretch. But that's not really a full backstory. I was a conjoined twin truther before the reveal so I'm definitely deranged confident enough to propose something.

What is Sukuna's deal anyways?

When I say Sukuna and Gojo are twin flames, I'm referring to how their internal logic and their narrative framing are very similar. For this reason, I believe how they respond to trauma is also similar.

Much of early JJK is a different reread knowing Gojo's specific trauma. His use of the childish Boku as his personal pronoun, his obsession with sweets, having Infinity on all the time, his avoidant attachment style, and his fierce desire to ensure teens enjoy their youth...all these little trauma-induced quirks hidden in plain sight, sometimes as humor, are now depressing reminders of what Gojo went through. You also start to see how paranoid he is about another Toji incident with how he treats Miguel and Hanami...

Sukuna's backstory has probably been set up in the exact same way. It's likely that most of Sukuna's actions and attitude are influenced by some unrevealed/hinted at trauma. Since he and Gojo are twin flames, I'll try to piece it together using Gojo as the blueprint.

Sukuna's Way of Speaking

In the same way Gojo's manner of speaking is unusual for his age, Sukuna speaks really weird even compared to other incarnated sorcerers. If you're not aware, Japanese pronouns do not carry gender, but they do indicate how the speaker views themself and the person they're talking to. (This wiki summary table is quite helpful for this sort of thing.)

Sukuna's personal pronoun is 俺 (Ore) which is very informal, rough, and masculine. And he uses お前 (Omae) as the you pronoun for others which is either a casual thing amongst peers or indicates the speaker's higher status. (It's probably the later given how arrogant Sukuna is.) These are also the same pronouns Yuji uses for himself and others. But because of his personality, we can infer that Yuji uses Ore because he's a sporty boy from the countryside and Omae because he's friendly and views everyone as equals. Same pronouns, but completely different characterizations that get lost in translation.

Sukuna also uses 貴様 (Kisama) as the you pronoun for Gojo. Historically, this was a formal way to show respect and then it evolved into an ironic hostile insult sort of thing, much more rude than Omae. Since Sukuna is 1,000 years old, uses Omae for Yuji, who he hates, we can reasonably assume him using Kisama for Gojo is the formal version. (This would be another very funny instance of Gojo thinking Sukuna hates him but he’s actually trying to be nice.)

All of Sukuna's pronoun usage combined with his personality suggests a very tough and rude individual, which he is. However that rough speaking style is exactly why his frequent use of flowery language, double entendre, clever wordplay, art references, and puns is bizarre.

The weird way in which Sukuna uses words is most known by how he speaks to Megumi during their fight at the detention center. (I'm paraphrasing all this person's translation work for this.)

Sukuna uses the phrase "misetemiro" which is commonly translated as "show me/show me what you’ve got". The caveat here is that the "mi" of "misetemiro" can be written as 見 or 魅. When using 見, translating as "show me" is most accurate. When using 魅? The better translation is "bewitch me/enchant me/charm me/fascinate me".

Sukuna, of course, uses 魅, which means he's saying "enchant me" when he uses "misetemiro". It should be noted that this exact phrasing is used for Mahoraga before it cuts off Gojo's arm. (This is apparently what what Sukuna finds to be enchanting. Violence against Gojo Satoru.)

The thing is, Megumi heard Sukuna say "misetemiro", so he likely assumed the common meaning "show me". This is either a case unintentional misunderstanding or Sukuna making his true feelings dubious. That in of itself is the best example of the double-meaning wordplay Sukuna gets up to.

Sukuna seems to be really fond of puns in particular (very old man of him). He calls Yuji 小僧 (kozō) which can be translated as brat, but it also means young/novice monk.

He also uses extremely outdated words. (An example of which was provided by this user.)

You have all of these conflicting speaking mannerisms balled up into one character. It's as if a gangster/ruffian majored in Literature Arts. And that’s precisely why I think he was of low status at birth.

Sukuna's Upbringing

We all know Gojo's Limitless Cursed Technique (CT) is a literal and metaphorical barrier between him and other people. His technique is his isolation. And how it developed informs us directly of how his interpersonal relationships changed with it.

Back when Gojo only had Blue and Infinity had to be manual, it meant that he had downtimes where he was vulnerable. That physical vulnerability doubled as emotional vulnerability and Gojo was able to form a close relationship with Geto and befriend Shoko. After he awakened, Infinity could be on nonstop. Gojo became untouchable to everyone at all times and it destroyed his relationships.

In the same way Gojo's CT compliments his changes from child to adult, I believe Sukuna's CT does the same.

As we all know by now, Sukuna's Shrine or 御厨子 (mizushi) could be referring to a Buddhist shrine used for storage or a imperial palace kitchen. I think it’s both at the same time. To me Sukuna's CT indicates he initially cooked for the emperor and then became an object of worship at a shrine. But I have some additional caveats to this theory.

We know that Sukuna learns by mimicking others. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say he picked up on formalities while being near nobility if he was of low birth. But how did a lowborn like Sukuna get near nobility in the first place?

So historical Japan had a social caste system called Ritsuryō (you can read more about its application in the Heian Era here). The upper class was called Ryōmin (good citizens) and the lower class was called Senmin (low citizens). Amongst the lower class there are the following subcastes:

Ryōko (dedicated to the imperial family or guards of imperial tombs)

Kanko (dedicated to public ministries)

Kenin (servants of high-ranking families)

Kunuhi (slaves of the court)

Shinuhi (slaves of families)

I think Sukuna was a Kunuhi or court slave during his time as an imperial cook. That would give him access to the higher art forms directly or by listening in while also explaining why his speech appears to be a mesh of two completely different backgrounds. (If he were of noble birth, his personal pronoun would likely be Watashi, Waga, or even Ware-Ware like most snobby upper class characters in Japanese media.)

Another trait of the slave class is their forbiddance from having a registered family name. Both Sukuna and Uraume use full names as a show of respect. The fact they only use single names for each other suggests that they have no family names at all and fall under this low class category.

The other thing to note about this caste system is that class mobility in both directions was possible. To what extent I'm not sure (there’s not a lot of in depth literature in English), but this would allow for Sukuna to rise from a lowborn status and fall back to it as the Disgraced One.

In summary:

Sukuna is born and branded an undesirable. (Some of his tattoos match up with markings for both criminals and outcasts. Particularly the single band around the wrist labeled Hinin, a term that translates to non-human used for the lowest social class.)

Sukuna is taken into slavery where his talents start to show. (Durable, 4 limbs, and quick learning make for great labor exploitation.)

Sukuna, as a slave, eventually finds himself working in the kitchen for the emperor where he meets Uraume, who is there under similar circumstances. (Heian nobles were fascinated by commoner life and sometimes took peasants into the palace for entertainment/exploitation. Please read this entire thread on Heian commoner life it’s very good.)

They rise through the ranks together because of hypercompetence.

Eventually Sukuna becomes so strong that he becomes an involuntary saint/warrior monk. (Heian nobles mobilized monks for rituals and maintaining power.)

The court nobles start a smear campaign out of fear of his power and lowly upbringing, which causes Sukuna to have his Joker moment and start eating people. (Based on the mythological Sukuna stories.)

Sukuna's Theoretical Coping Mechanisms

After Gojo endured the fallout from Toji and Geto, he developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. They're all quite unhealthy to be frank—Gojo is very stuck in the past and seems to be in a near-constant state of trying to relive it, but better.

Those traits were all initially introduced as gags. It all made Gojo appear like a very strange, childish, and questionable adult. In retrospect it's all tragic. So with that in mind, I want to examine some of Sukuna's traits that could be a manifestation of past trauma.

It goes without saying that being a slave is traumatic. And the coping mechanisms developed to deal with that level of dehumanization don't go away if someone escapes it.

Sukuna's extreme aversion to being told what to do and self-centeredness reminds me of the ex-slave character, Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi. She starts out as a slave paraded around as a circus freak after being experimented on before she's sold to a wealthy clan and forced to be a retainer. A curse is placed on her to keep her from escaping in the form of a tattoo around her neck. When she finally frees herself, she is very cat-like in her selfishness, poorly socialized, and abrasive. (Also she is canonically aroace!)

If you noticed, her personality sounds like a description of Sukuna's, so I'm left thinking he has some variation of that backstory (kind of like a combination of Toji and Geto's). It would fit with him being an unwanted child, explain his bizarre manner of speech, and give him a pretty good reason to be the way that he is.

In the same way Gojo used Hanami to relive his trauma but control the outcome, I think Sukuna uses Binding Vows relive and conquer his enslavement. The vows he constantly makes and breaks with himself are a show of control over thing that hurt him.

When binding vows are first introduced, it's by Sukuna and with chains. In the anime the chains constrict Sukuna until they destroy him.

This imagery is rather oppressive in nature. Similar to a prisoner's chains or a slave's chains. (And it's quite common for prisoners to be used for slave labor too.)

I've previously discussed how I view Kenjaku as someone who exists through nonconsent and causes others to relive their trauma. Gojo's sealing illustrates how this kind of manipulation works. And since Gojo's twin flame is Sukuna, I believe Kenjaku did something similar to him.

We've already established how much Sukuna hates taking orders from people and how much he wants to fight Gojo. Everything he has done for the past 6 months was for Gojo. And guess who stops him from obtaining what he desires? Kenjaku through a binding vow.

Sukuna also calls Yuji an 檻 (ori) which can be translated as cage. The type of "cage" ori can refer to is either one for animals or for criminals. Kenjaku pretty much created Yuji to contain Sukuna in this manner.

So we have 2 forms of restriction encroach on Sukuna's boundaries in a way that would be reminiscent of slavery. If Sukuna and Uraume are former slaves, their treatment of Kenjaku and each other makes sense.

With Uraume, Sukuna is gentle and reassuring. He faces towards them when speaking and will initiate conversations, going out of his way to praise their work. This seems a bit out of character given how harshly Sukuna treats others, even those he respects.

Uraume is constantly apologizing to Sukuna in a way that suggests in the past they were punished severely for the slightest mess up. Given their relationship and how little Sukuna cares when they're not perfect, I don't think Sukuna was the one to make Uraume feel this way. If they're ex-slaves, this constant groveling would read as trauma response, and Sukuna's reassurance would be him showing consideration for someone who went through something similar.

With Kenjaku, Sukuna never makes eye contact, often has his back turned, and only responds when spoken to. Uraume is constantly pissed at Kenjaku's presence and tries to keep the two separate as much as possible.

Whatever binding vow Kenjaku has wrapped Sukuna in is clearly upsetting to the both of them. I imagine those were the tools used to subjugate people within the Jujutsu hierarchy. Wait I don't need speculate on that point, Yuta already did this for me when he was forced to execute Yuji via a binding vow with the higher ups.

And you know who else might have suffered the exact same way? Uro.

And boy is Uro strikingly similar to Sukuna, enough for Yuta to notice. She had no name, was groomed into being a weapon by nobles, discarded after being used, and is now someone who toys with sorcerers as she tries to become her own person while scorning bonds/love.

And if you recall, Sukuna obliterated the Fujiwara Subjugation Clan and Uro isn't really mad at him for that.

Not just Uro, but Ryu is similar to Sukuna as well in his hunger and seeing others as meals to satisfy him.

These parallels seem deliberate and may hint of how Sukuna was treated in the past and what his true motivations are. Uro seeing the incarnation as a chance at a second life as her own person is probably how Sukuna feels. But you know. Both of them are beholden to Kenjaku so that “freedom” came with a steep price.

What separates Uro and Ryu from Sukuna is that they acknowledge exactly why they're here. They reflect on their old lives and take action to address their problems. Sukuna seems to be in some kind of state of denial.

I have no doubt Sukuna is serious when his ideals don't go beyond himself. What's troubling is how unaware of why he feels this way. He won't even acknowledge his hunger for an equal which is obvious to everyone else. He also doesn't seem to know why he incarnated, dodging Kashimo’s question on it entirely. It reminds me of Gojo, who despite being blatantly motivated by Geto and Toji, never shows it except in fleeting instances. And those instances are either internal or deliberately vague to whoever is hearing it.

I think this is because acknowledging he experienced weakness at one point in his life is admitting that he can be put in a position like that again. That can be a scary thing to confront. Gojo doesn't deal with the fact he can be made vulnerable and does everything in his power to prevent it while pretending nothing is wrong. Sukuna is doing the same thing when speaks of the past as briefly as possible and crushes anyone who might have power over him.

Uro herself kind of puts that motivating trauma in the back of her mind until Yuta's Fujiwara heritage and ideas trigger her. Not wanting to recall your life as a nameless slave and having it incidentally brought up by the phrase "live for others" kind of sounds like the beef Sukuna has with Yuji.

And imagine if Uro was trapped in Yuta’s body, where this lucky individual, born free, decides to become a Cog of his own volition. She would probably never stop hating him. (I think Sukuna is mad Yuji chose the life he escaped.)

This would also fit well with his initial view of heriarchies. As long as he's the strongest, he doesn't have to worry about becoming a slave again.

And in a way, this is also him showing concern for Gojo. You’re this strong and letting these fudgers push you around? Kill them.

I also think that's why this Yuji quote is going to age poorly.

I don't think Sukuna ever had the chance to live normally. This would also make this exchange really interesting.

Sukuna suggesting he has suffered more than Yuji fascinates me. Of all the things that could possibly be worse than what Yuji went through, I think existing as a slave and being subject to discrimination since childhood would make for a pretty compelling case.

Rejecting Love as Cope

I’ve been on about how Sukuna hates on love as a cope in other posts. I think the former slave angle gives a little more weight to this idea, his poor social skills, and general aversion to other people.

Love is a type of tethering to another person. Sometimes it results in marriage, a legal contract that binds you to another with a myriad of social expectations. If Sukuna is a former slave, his aversion to that sort of thing is only natural. Relationships of anykind are a bond that comes with restrictions.

I keep bringing up Yorozu because analyzing the ways in which she upsets Sukuna is useful for understanding him. Sukuna is most dead-eyed when marriage comes up and he sees losing as the same thing as death. The common problem here is Yorozu’s desire to control Sukuna’s life.

If you know anything about ex-slaves, it’s that they would rather die than go back to that.

Sukuna being the strongest means that no one can ever hold that kind of power over him again. And like Gojo, he believes human connections and love are a point of weakness that need to be discarded to obtain absolute strength. If Gojo is using that excuse to run away from others, Sukuna is using it too.

Despite rejecting all forms of love for the sake of self-preservation, Sukuna expresses cravings for it in very roundabout ways. Usually with how he mocks it.

Another puntastic bit of foreshadowing with Sukuna and Yuji’s binding vow, Enchain also doubles as a discussion about love.

Here's a link to the full poem and context of it.

In summary, it’s about a soldier who is on the brink of death, having lost nearly everything after being abandoned by those in power, lamenting the happiest days of his life with his love are ones he can never get back. (Kind of sounds like how Sukuna ruins Yuji’s life.)

Sukuna canonically reads literature about love and he will use that knowledge to torment people. That’s pretty interesting for someone who hates it. There’s also the underlying theme of exploitation and discardment in this poem that reflects how Jujutsu Society treats sorcerers. And in both cases, the strength to survive and love can’t be had.

Sukuna calls Kashimo greedy for wanting both. But much much earlier Sukuna warns Yuji that there are consequences for being greedy.

I really wonder why he believes that.

Jujutsu Society and Labor Exploitation

The other interesting thing about Izutsumi is how aimless she is after learning the modifications to her body are irreversible despite obtaining freedom. She simply doesn’t know what to do with this. And that makes sense. Grand ambitions take a backseat when all you know is surviving. Her development involves slowly learning how build relationships with others that aren’t exploitative and coping with the permanent changes to her body. And it only comes about because the people she finds herself with are other social weirdos who give her the space and time to change.

That’s what seems to be the problem with Sukuna. He doesn’t have a space within sorcerer or non-sorcerer society where he’ll be accepted and won’t be exploited. But I don’t need to tell you that, Nanami will.

He’s miserable as a sorcerer or not. Might as well pick the one he is good at.

Later he recounts exactly what made him come back.

And if you noticed, his listlessness after escaping Jujutsu and “I always thought that having a 'purpose in life' had nothing to do with me” is very similar to Sukuna’s boredom and “I'd never though about it. ...Ideals. Desires that go beyond oneself”.

It’s weird that Nanami and Sukuna have similar realizations about their place in society while arriving at completely different ways to deal with it. I think that’s intentional.

From an interview with Gege:

"If there was one thing worth mentioning, it's that no one has the ultimate truth. The “good guys” and the “bad guys”. Some seek to kill the hero out of pure selfishness, but others are led to this decision by logical reasoning. If no one is really right, then no one is wrong either. Each character is guided by their own ethics."

I've interpreted this quote as the author telling me to consider the characters as having similar motivations, but completely different methodologies and logic driving their actions. With that in mind, I have concluded the following:

Every single character that’s kind of insane has recognized the same problem. Japanese work culture sucks. It grinds you to dust, leaves you with no freetime, and even corrodes your identity under the guise of collectivism. “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” is the go-to Japanese proverb to justify conformity to this suffering. Uro calls it out exactly.

Toji and Maki are beaten into place, used as scapegoats, and isolated by their families for being born wrong and staining the Zenin reputation by existing. Toji decided the solution was killing sorcerers and leaving Jujutsu society. Maki decided the solution was killing her family (she did nothing wrong) and building a better Jujutsu society with allies.

Geto, Nanami, and Gojo all broke from overwork that isolated them and never allowed them to grieve. Geto decided the solution was killing non-sorcerers and leaving Jujutsu society. Nanami decided the solution was leaving Jujutsu society and doing non-sorcerer work. Gojo decided the solution was reforming Jujutsu society and eventually killing the higher ups (based).

So despite all these different solutions, some of which are indefensible, I understand exactly why they became that way. They’re dealing with labor exploitations and dehumanization without the theoretical framework to be productive about it. (Gojo is the closest person to discovering what a union is.)

Geto snapped from a single traumatic event coupled with the knowledge that his labor would be exploited until he joined the mountain of sorcerers’ corpses. Though he was introduced as a mass murdering lunatic, there were always hints of how badly he wanted sorcerers to be free of exploitation. (Karl Marx could’ve saved him.)

Sukuna experiencing the most egregious form of labor exploitation, slavery would fit into these themes nicely I think. It's the ultimate form of dehumanization—becoming a literal commodity for people to sell, trade, and break. (And him deciding to be this wild about it would be understandable to me at least because I truly believe in the John Brown solution for slaveowners.)

Sukuna is fond of Megumi, Maki, Gojo, and Jogo. Megumi was sold by his father to a clan, the Zenins tried to make Maki subservient for being female, Gojo was bossed around and run ragged by the higher ups, and Jogo was puppetted around by Kenjaku. All of these characters are powerful individuals that for one reason or another were shafted by societal constraints that had them exploited by others weaker than them. Since Sukuna likes people similar to him, it's not a stretch to assume he’s recognizing their hurt as his own.

And just like Geto, instead of abolishing the hierarchy that subjugated him, Sukuna has chosen to sit atop it to escape. But unlike Geto, Sukuna doesn't dream of a world where he enforces it. (The guy clearly hates having responsibilities and doesn't want to be a ruler. He just wants to do what he wants whenever he wants. You know, having freedom.)

Sukuna existed within a society where it was acceptable to own people if you were strong enough. The fact he treats Uraume, a voluntary servant, so well and refuses to keep slaves speaks volumes. Sukuna may live for himself but he clearly has some form of ethics about it.

Wait, what about Megumi’s subjugation?

Well, sometimes people are hypocrites. Nanami, Mr. Would’ve Loved Unions and outspoken labor critic, is content with pushing all the work onto Gojo, who has suffered in the exact same way he has.

Maybe it’s resentment for his Gojo’s birth making curses stronger and therefore harder to deal with. Maybe he sees Gojo as everything wrong with Jujutsu and is lashing out. The point is, I don’t know why Nanami made the exception to his rules for Gojo and that’s why I’m clueless on where Megumi fits into this theory.

I’m not sure if Sukuna intends to keep Megumi as a puppet forever. For the sake of his own entertainment, he’ll probably release him after ingesting his final finger if Yuji can’t separate them first. And in a very twisted way, his treatment of Megumi could also be seen as a cruel training regiment. Sukuna thinks suffering and isolation brings strength. That’s how he’s justifying whatever happened to him.

But on the other hand, maybe he won’t. Because now Megumi has the blueprint for surpassing him. Defeat means being a slave again and Sukuna can’t have that.

[simplegenius042]

"What Kind Of Love Are You?" OC Quiz & "Every OC List Got The ___"

Tagged by @adelaidedrubman @imogenkol @voidika @shellibisshe and @aceghosts

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @noodlecupcakes @josephseedismyfather @inafieldofdaisies @icecutioner @derelictheretic @shallow-gravy @direwombat @strangefable @rhettsabbott @josephslittledeputy @cloudofbutterflies92 @skoll-sun-eater @cassietrn @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @raresvtm @softtidesworld @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @florbelles @titiagls @minilev @yokobai @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @justasmolbard @alypink @thesingularityseries and @nightwingshero + anyone else who'd like to join.

Four results for my OCs for this quiz and four OC Lists for four of my series.

JOAQUIN COBALT (THE UNTITLEDVERSE)

This feels accurate for Joaquin considering he begins The UnTitledverse as an adolescent, and the series follows his growth and youth to adulthood. Joaquin has the weight of the world (or rather multiverse) on him, but, he still has time to be a child, to be a teen, to be his own identity, with Maisie, Mario, Calvin and all his found family and friends to share the weight.

SILVA OMAR (THE SILVER CHRONICLES [FAR CRY 5 & FAR CRY NEW DAWN])

Religious themes (including the trauma) for Silva go brrr! Like what else is there to say?

HAOYU ANABUKI (LIFE, DESPAIR & MONSTERS)

Yeah this makes sense for them. Haoyu is someone who's not used to love and when it comes it is gonna be the most life-changing thing for them. For once something they will have to make a commitment towards keeping if they want it. Haoyu is also the type to go in a panic as well as overthink; including full-on denial.

MARISSA "RESS" BISHOP (A RADIOACTIVE CALAMITY OF LOVE, BOMBS & GORE [FALLOUT])

While this definitely suits Ress at her best, I don't think it encapsulates everything about her. Because while Ress' love is bountiful and ageless and endless... there's also the fear of losing it all, because Ress will outlive everyone she knows because her own natural mortality outlasts everyone else's. The only person that would be around the longest with her (and meet her at what would be considered old age for a hybrid species like them) would have been her older half-brother, Ore... but even that is cruelly taken away from her by their father Urias and his Occult. Yeah, so while this definitely does shine a light on the happiness and thrill Ress would feel with her lover (prime example being Piper), it doesn't acknowledge the grief she'd eventually have to face.

Now for the OC List, I decided to go with OCs from all four/five of my series; The UnTitledverse, The Silver Chronicles, Life, Despair & Monsters and a shared list with my Fallout series A Radioactive Calamity Of Love, Bombs & Gore and my original series An Old Ballad Of Chance And Ember Hearts Trilogy (which includes my Wings And Horns WIP that this trilogy spins off from). So yeah... enjoy! [NOTE: This will include art/doodles, reference pictures (for the art/doodles that I still haven't been skilled enough to draw) and faceclaims]:

THE UNTITLEDVERSE

Lisa Cobalt | Malcolm Darling | Mario Emmet Jester | Madame Callaghan | Lillian "Lena" Elliot Greenpeace | Allyson "Alice" Darling | Edward Carmine Calvin Dearing | Joaquin Cobalt | Rick Thompson

[My (Incomplete) Art: Malcolm Darling, Mario Emmet and Jester]

THE SILVER CHRONICLES

Oscar Lapis | Father Adam Omar | Silva's Third Eye Elsa Omar | Paul Yellowjack | Silva Omar Azriel Omar | Nadi Sinclair | Kamski Neon Alexander Khaos | Gavin Turquoise | Mercy Omar-Seed | Ezekiel

[My (Incomplete) Art: Silva's Third Eye (or at least what its spiritual physically looks like if you're potent in the Third Eye... or a certain New God shitting bricks at the sight of this hungry symbiotic cretin)]

LIFE, DESPAIR & MONSTERS

Yan | Frederick Rosemary | The Unity Hatter | Icarus Galatos | Hatsukami Hinode | Xavier Tulip | Haoyu Anabuki Rico | Eden "Evie" Bloodleech | Sonya | Sir Enigma Malvolio | The Court King Denise Redwood | Lora | Cecil Royce | Corvus Targaryen

[Image Reference Credits: Vecna from Stranger Things, The Stupendium in "The Toybox", The Core from Amphibia, an edited Mad Hatter from Alice In Wonderland, Kraang One's Exosuit from Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie and artwork of that Jester King done by CristianAC on Steam]

A RADIOACTIVE CALAMITY OF LOVE, BOMBS & GORE + WINGS AND HORNS

Elrand Brandt the Vault Dweller | Aggravor the Accursed | Arcane Urias Xiang Ba'al | Vega the Resident | Marissa "Ress" Bishop Alph Dolen the Lone Wanderer | Ryder the Courier Six | Discord the Mad Kin of Carnage Ortega "Ore" Brantley | Archangel Metatron | Finidy Mona the Chosen One | Nate Gust Sarid the Sole Survivor

[Image Reference Credits: Vecna from Stranger Things, Annihilus from Marvel Comics, Kagetane Hiruko from Black Bullet, LorenzoArt's Caedis from Instagram, NCR Veteran Ranger from Fallout: New Vegas and art of Archangel Metatron that I found posted on Quora]

[Faceclaims (which might or might not change): The UnTitledverse: Beanie Feldstein for Lisa Cobalt, Scarlett Johanson for Madame Callaghan, Elizabeth Gilles for Lillian "Lena" Elliot, Sean McLoughlin for Greenpeace, Anya Taylor-Joy for Allyson "Alice" Darling, Benedict Cumberbatch for Edward Carmine, Laurence Fishburne for Calvin Dearing, Isiaiah Stannard for Joaquin Cobalt and Aaron Moten for Rick Thompson. The Silver Chronicles: Mario Casas for Oscar Lapis, Brad Garrett for Father Adam Omar, Juliana Alves for Elsa Omar, Gabriel Garko for Paul Yellowjack, Mina El Hammani for Deputy Silva Omar, Aria Goodson for Azriel Omar, Aïssa Maïga for Nadi Sinclair, Andre Royo for Kamski "the Good Doctor" Neon, Taron Egerton for Alexander Khaos, Matthew McConaughey for Gavin Turquoise, Emily Tosta for Mercy Omar-Seed and Álex González for Captain Ezekiel of Security. Life, Despair & Monsters: Daniel Padilla for Icarus Galatos, Hatsukami Hinode & Xavier Tulip, Hikaru Utada for Haoyu Anabuki, Wilmer Calderon for Rico, Nathalie Emmanuel for Eden "Evie" Bloodleech, Rami Malek for Sir Enigma Malvolio, Odette Annable for Denise Redwood, Karen Fukuhara for Lora, Mia Goth for Cecil Royce and Daniel Radcliffe for Corvus Targaryen. A Radioactive Calamity Of Love, Bombs & Gore: Jason Statham for Elrand Brandt the Vault Dweller, Yvonne Strahovski for Vega the Resident, Beyonce for Marissa "Ress" Bishop, Sam Blanckensee for Alph Dolen the Lone Wanderer, Halle Berry for Ryder the Courier Six, Jessica Alba for Finidy Mona the Chosen One and Steven He for Nate Gust Sarid the Sole Survivor.

[kuroo-hitsuji]

(Minor?) NB Spoilers (lesson 35 (normal))

I'm losing it over the fact that I spent literally the Entire beginning of the train dinner situation telling my partner that I was gonna throw Lucifer out the fuckin window

And then Mephisto shows up and Lucifer says something about fucking throwing him out the window--

Please this Keeps happening fjsjgdxj stop stealing my lines, asshole

[katakaluptastrophy]

I think what's so interesting about Gideon as a narrator at the anniversary dinner is the fact that there's clearly tensions that she's just not picking up on because she's only there to eat a dessert.

But these people are all the immensely powerful leaders of the Houses and consider themselves to be in competition for literal godlike powers and the favour of the emperor.

There's so many little snippets that are potentially intriguing: why is Teacher trying to prime the Ninth to consider the Fifth a threat? Why are the Third and the Sixth "sizing each other up like prizefighters"? The Fifth absolutely knew what they were doing when they sat the teen heads of the opposing cults near each other.

Through Gideon's lens, Magnus' speech is a little awkward jokey thing. But...the seneschal of the House that is known to be actively trying to absorb another House is saying it's such a shame they're all so remote from each other and what do they all have in common (and it's so quiet you "could have heard a hair flutter to the floor") - that had to feel a bit different to people who aren't Gideon.

Palamedes' is dissecting the meaning of "Master Warden" and at one point compares it to a prison warden. 'Dulcinea' asking about whether Magnus and Abigail have children is perhaps less small talk and rather more pointedly political. Harrow's apparently stilted conversation with Protesilaus is clearly her actually probing his limitations like he's a bad Chat GPT-run chatbot.

And then 'Dulcinea' tells Gideon she liked the dinner because it was "useful". In her typical "I never lied to you" way, Cyth wasn't lying when she said Abigail had to die because of her hobby - Abigail Pent let loose on the Facility would have risked blowing Cyth's cover sky high. But what does a Canaan House look like where after the dinner party, the Fifth go down to the facility, get a key, and survive to continue their 'the Houses are going to get along or else' agenda? We've seen Fifth House soft power on a smaller scale in HTN: and it looks like inviting a teenager round for coffee, lulling her into a false sense of security with small talk, and then physically preventing her from leaving the room until she does what you want, while smiling the entire time. A series of little coffee chats could probably have led to a lot of cooperation in Canaan House, one way or another.

Gideon jokes about Silas marrying Ianthe because of their similar colour pallete, but it does raise the fact that there seems to be some tension around the Third, its succession, and the *point* of Ianthe. Why is Silas openly saying Ianthe should have died at birth? Combined with Judith's comments in the Cohort Intelligence Files about succession on the Third, it feels like there's something else being said here that Gideon isn't picking up on.

And of course, Harrow wasn't the only one desperate to become a Lyctor because her con was unsustainable. Presumably at some point Corona and Ianthe would be expected to marry, or at least take on more separate roles as Corona prepared to take over the throne and Ianthe was funneled off elsewhere. At some point, their package deal would have become unsustainable and Corona's cover would have been blown. But much as Harrow wants to become a Lyctor so she can reveal the state of the Ninth without repercussions, Ianthe is probably in part motivated to become a Lyctor for the same reason. Because otherwise, what would Ianthe's expected role have been? Amidst the suggestion of anxiety about the Idan succession, the dinner party also presents the fact that the reason Abigail and Magnus' infertility isn't a succession crisis for the ruling family of the Fifth is that Abigail's younger brother dutifully married in his early 20s and had kids. We know there are branch families in Ida - Babs is from one. He may be a prince, but he's not treated well, and you do get the sense that the stakes to stay in power in Ida are high.

We don't learn anything about the political situation in the Houses themselves during HTN or NTN, but in the wake of Canaan House, you have to suspect there are a number of tensions and concerns.

[dilvei]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 ( y! emperor x m! assassin reader )

yandere! emperor x male! assassin reader

warnings:

attempted murder

attempted poisoning

mentions of torture

some dubcon tumble & kissing in the sheets ey

directory: part one, part two [ coming soon ]

this definitely could've gone to a much, much darker route but instead it turned out kind of cute(?). i once had a similar idea to this one but as like a longer fic but i don't have the time for that so eat this instead y'all 🌈🌈

requested by @n4muqr

✾ | much is unknown of the current reigning emperor, dimitri, and what little is known about him is all rather rudimentary, really—merely the common knowledge shared and repeated by most already.

✾ | for instance, it is often said by the masses that dimitri is akin to a sleeping lion. a calm and quiet presence... until a single misstep is made in his presence, prompting his unbridled fury. the emperor does not merely desire perfection, he demands it with an almost relentless, crazed fervor. the emperor will not— cannot simply stand by when something in his vicinity does not reach that impeccable state.

✾ | another topic, oftenly brought up, is his cruelty. the amount of enemies dimitri has amassed on his path to the throne is not few, and those who remain are, well, tortured and tormented inside the cold dungeons for as long as they draw breath.

✾ | but none of those rumors are the ones that pique your interest in the emperor. no. what fascinates you about dimitri is the fact that he has yet to marry, and has remained so for several years of his reign, much to the utter bewilderment of his own people and his own court.

✾ | and the reason for it is so ridiculous that, the first time you heard it, you nearly topple over from laughter. the emperor is unmarried not because he is unattractive or ugly—the opposite really, if the rumors are to be believed—but because he deems that there is no one perfect enough yet to stand by his side. ridiculous, really. but what is an emperor if he is not arrogant?

✾ | still, the fact that there is no direct heir to the throne due to this is utterly hilarious to you. even more comical is the moment when, one day, you are given the task to assassinate said emperor.

✾ | you hold no loyalty for powerful men like dimitri, especially when they are reputed to be arrogant fools. and yet, curiosity stirs within you as to who issued such an order, for you are certain that you are not the only one sent to assassinate dimitri. his little brother perhaps? he is, after all, next in line to the throne.

✾ | a day after you receive the task, you simply... wait, and you remain waiting even as news of failed assassination attempts after another reaches your ears. not one assassin has succeeded, and it baffles you, really; it is either due to the emperor's extreme luck or, perhaps, his perfectionism has extended to other aspects of his life—namely, the protection that surrounds him.

✾ | so, you plan. disguising one's self to infiltrate the palace would take too long, and the likelihood of success is slim, especially given dimitri’s vigilant eye monitoring everyone’s movements. in the end, only one course of action comes to mind.

✾ | in the dead of night, you silently scale the towering walls of the palace—walls too high for most, surely, but easily surmountable for someone like you. with a mask covering the lower half of your face and more daggers than one should be permitted to carry, you ascend with ease.

✾ | landing on the balcony with barely a sound, you smile as you successfully arrive at the chambers of the arrogant emperor dimitri.

✾ | lock picking the door inside is awfully easy, and as you step into the bedroom that is almost suffocating with its golden splendor, you finally see him. you see the emperor.

✾ | dimitri is in bed, unguarded, with eyes closed and lips parted, so breathtaking to behold that, for a moment, you forget you are here to kill him, to murder him.

✾ | as you edge closer to his still body, you observe the gentle rise and fall of his chest with each soft breath. how his golden eyelashes flutter as the cold night air sweeps in from the open balcony window. it seems almost a waste to kill such beauty.

✾ | and just as you brandish your cold dagger to his neck, your other hand ready to silence his dying cries, dimitri's eyes shoot wide open, an icy gaze staring directly into you.

✾ | despite only just waking, the emperor is fast, sharp and alert, and in a blink, dimitri has already swiftly caught both your wrists with his hands in a vice-like grip, rendering you motionless as you both stare into each other’s eyes in tense silence.

"You shouldn’t be up at such an hour, Your Majesty,” you slowly quip with narrowed eyes, breaking the silence between you as you struggle to free your hands from Dimitri’s grip. Your efforts are futile; his hold on you tightens further.

No doubt, that bruises will soon bloom like dark flowers on your skin, assuming, that is, Dimitri ever lets go of his grip.

With an almost empty sharpness in his gaze, Dimitri inches his face closer to yours, his expression thin as he responds, “And you, should not wander as you wish in your emperor’s chambers. Wherever did you learn your manners, stranger?”

"Well, certainly not around here, Your Majesty.” You let out a sharp laugh before kneeing him in the stomach. But, to your surprise, you flinch instead of the emperor. It feels as though... you just kneed a solid rock.

At your failed attempt, Dimitri merely raises a brow and sighs, shaking his head in disappointment. “I must admit, this is a first. No assassin thus far has attempted to climb my palace walls only to knee me in the stomach. I must say, you do make a memorable first impression.”

"I'm flattered, Your Majesty," you say with a faux smile as you continue to struggle against his grip. Another sigh escapes the Emperor's lips.

Suddenly, perhaps finally finding himself tired of your antics, Dimitri pulls you towards him with a firm grip, effortlessly throwing you onto his bed, pinning you under him with only a hand as though you weigh nothing.

Well now, this is bad.

Dimitri hovers above you, his warm breath caressing your neck, his gaze piercing you with a cold, steely silence. Then— he rips off your mask, revealing your complete face, twisted with frustration; Dimitri's eyes seem to gleam as he notices it.

"Must you really rip it off?"

"It obscured my view of your face, oh assassin. Your mask was a hindrance to us both," he answers, voice as smooth as velvet. With his free hand, and an empty gaze that all but screams danger, Dimitri’s fingertips softly caress your face before slowly, but surely, descending to your neck. You gulp.

Before he can act in a way you do not desire—specifically, choking you lifeless beneath him—you lean forward, rising to press your lips against his in desperation.

Not for his mercy, no—heavens, no. Your lips are coated in poison, a venom strong enough to probably lull a lion into instant slumber, and soon, will render Dimitri paralyzed as well.

Unsurprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly—because you’ve seen it, seen the hint of desire brimming inside his eyes, a flicker that escapes the mask the Emperor puts on—Dimitri kisses you back. And if your swift brush of lips could ever be labeled as a kiss, then what Dimitri unleashed upon you could only be deemed a ravage.

He wastes no time slipping his tongue past your lips, savoring and exploring your mouth as one might indulge in a delectable, forbidden fruit. Despite your efforts, you find yourself drawn into his passion, grappling beneath him as he intensifies the kiss with each passing moment, as though melding your bodies together.

There is no room to breathe, and your head reels from the lack of air.

A bruising grip is placed on your waist as Dimitri somehow deepens the kiss further, his tongue exploring every inch of you, and as you attempt to pull away, he presses forward, biting your lip almost as a form of punishment.

A low whine escapes your throat, seemingly satisfying Dimitri as he hums softly into your mouth. Then, finally, ever so finally, he ends the kiss, leaving you gasping for air.

Tears well in your eyes as you gaze up at him, a half-smirk playing on his lips while he hovers above you, still gripping both your wrists firmly in his single hand, still unaffected by the poison after how much time has passed. How... is this be possible? Is Dimitri perhaps immune to such poison?

As realization washes over you, the half-smirk on Dimitri’s face transforms into a full one. "The poison on your lips is sweet, oh assassin," he whispers, "but in my opinion, the kiss is far, far sweeter."

"You...!"

As you prepare to kick the Emperor in his groin out of extreme frustration, he releases his grip on you, rising from the bed before straightening his attire. "You have passed, my assassin. And henceforth, you will serve me, and me alone," he announces, voice ringing clear inside your head.

You blink, letting his words sink in before narrowing your eyes at Dimitri, who is now sitting languidly on one of his many comfortable chairs in the room. “Just what are you talking about?” His words make little sense, and you feel an undying urge to hurl the nearest object right at his face.

"Who do you think orchestrated the countless assassinations on my dear self, oh assassin of mine? I seek only the finest, and while I knew no one could truly ever succeed in killing me, thus far, your attempt has been the closest."

You push yourself off the bed, striding towards him with your fists clenched. "This is all beyond ridiculous. Do you have any idea how many of us were tasked to end your life?"

"I do."

You cross your arms with a sigh. "So, what now? Is my task over?" The room is far too cold now after you have tasted the warmth that is your Emperor, and your job is clearly over, now that you have, somehow, been forcefully given a new one instead.

Dimitri responds, "You are to be my assassin. I will point the way, and you will obediently follow, with no questions asked. To kill whomever I send you to kill, to dispose of their bodies with no witnesses in sight, and to return to me when I have need of you. Is that clear?"

You roll your eyes at his arrogant tone but then nod obligingly upon seeing the slightest hint of anger in his expression. "Yes, yes. Is there anything else you require of me, Your Majesty? If not, I will be taking my leave now."

"Remain still,” he commands, and a distant part of you screams in frustration as your body effortlessly complies. He approaches you slowly, offering a small smile before placing your mask back over your face.

"When we are alone, just the two of us, I expect you to address me by my given name, my assassin.” He pauses then, lifting your chin with a finger. You tense.

"And...?" you ask back, your voice shaky.

The Emperor’s gaze flickers towards your lips, concealed beneath the mask, as he issues his last command. “That last method of yours. I forbid you from employing it on anyone else,” he muses, tightening his grip on your chin, almost painfully so.

“Your lips are reserved solely for mine.”

[chaotic-minds-think-alike]

Finally finishing all these guys we’ve got charts and headcanons! (Long post)

(Height)

(Wingspan)

(Body length & basic shapes I used) (it might be odd but ignore any detail on the back, the shapes are for general body shape)

Headcanons:

Seawings: - Colors range from red and purple to yellow - Aquatic is based off areas of bioluminescence rather than singular scales (because no one wants to draw all of those) - Although they average small compared to the other tribes, gigantism is more common - Wing bioluminescence gene is always present but for some doesn't show, thus aquatic doesn't utilize the wings

Rainwings: - Can change the texture of their scales alongside color - Weakest bite due to their fangs, probably why they're vegetarian - Mimic interesting behaviors - Have forked tongues

Mudwings: - Colors range from olive green to purple-ish red - Very resilient - Able to breathe fire regardless of body temperature, the heat of the flame depends on body temp - Their horns constantly grow and sometimes have to be cut due to dangerous growing patterns - Love gnawing on things, tough foods like jerky is popular - The horn covers of fallen siblings are harvested and turned into instruments to remember them by

Leafwings: - Colors range from gold to teal (and pink to olive green during cold seasons) - Can appear to have false eyes - Bug-like just like the other Pantalan residents (because they're just some weird outlier like what is going on here) - Leafspeak doesn't actually allow them to hear voices from plants but rather increase the sensitivity of their antennae which pick up on the changes in plants - In colder seasons, regions that have deciduous trees influence leafwings in that their scales change into warm tones similar to fallen leaves for camouflage but this also negatively impacts one's leafspeak ability; this doesn't apply to evergreen leafwings however

Hivewings: - Colors range from hot pink to olive green - Can appear to have false eyes - Have elbowed antennae just like their "cousins", Hymenoptera (wasps, bees, ants) - Tend to disregard personal space/get close out of habit, being close means better temp regulation and better communication - All hivewings have stingers, wrist stingers, and a venomous bite but it largely depends on preference of which they choose and like muscles, they can be exercised to become deadly weapons - They're not capable of "emitting a horrible stench"

Icewings: - Colors range from white to pale indigo - Melanism is still very rare but more likely in icewings - Can be iridescent in any color, especially visible in lighter scaled individuals - The scales on their face is very fine and is flushed with blood which darkens the area and allows them to see in the snow by absorbing light, otherwise the glare from the sun reflecting off would be a hinderance - Their wings are thin and thus have visible veins most of the time - Idk how to describe their scales other than its kinda like basalt formations - From the side they appear large but are actually thin and flexible - They can freeze to death if they've gone without cold for a long time and then reintroduced too quickly - In hybridization, they have dominant genes, partially because the animus gene - The extra mane of horns can appear randomly on the body in singular spikes, they also make a clink sound when they collide as if they're made of ice, making a pretty scary rattle when disturbed

Nightwings: - Colors range from orange to purple - Albinism is still very rare but more likely in nightwings - Dwarfism is more common - Teardrop scales are always present, highlighted when the dragon has powers regardless of type - Pitbull ready to bite kids - They CAN hang upside down as the books suggest but not for long - By taking dust baths, they dull their scales to reflect less light and blend in better in the dark - Have white fire but cant breathe for long due to how hot it is (this is mainly to add onto the mysterious factor of em and I always liked the idea) - Due to eye sensitivity, they hate sudden bright lights and will close their eyes as they breathe fire

Silkwings: - Can have black or dark accents but never as a whole body color unless they've hybridized - Wing shapes vary widely - Can appear to have false eyes - Flamesilk is rarer than one might think - Very flexible and have strong tails used as a sort of 5th limb in climbing - Albino or melanistic dragons still keep their iridescence - Silk is emitted through a spinneret on the chin rather than the wrists - Prefer to travel in pairs (instinct)

Sandwings: - Colors range from red to olive green - Dark patters often mimic a snake's - Horse-like in complexion - Alongside their snake-like appearance, they have pit organs - Tend to move like birds - Poor eyesight but good hearing - Their horns angle upwards sort of like a bull

Skywings: - Colors range from red to yellow (and green because skywings are meant to be your typical fire breathing dragon which is most often depicted to be red but can also be green) - Tend to move like birds - Weaker than they appear - Green skywings are incapable of being or having flamescales - Their horns constantly grow and have to be filed down - A flamescale cant melt rock or metal by touch alone, only via fire is it possible - It's not that they don't want flamescales that they kill them, it's more of a mercy killing because of how lonely their life can be

[loosescrewslefty]

Screaming, crying and OBSESSING over the way Anya and Demetrius are on opposite sides of the Neurodivergent scale and also far more similar to one another than either one realizes. More than any other character we've seen so far, it feels like these two are Yin and Yang, opposite sides of the same coin.

Demetrius easily absorbs facts, figures, and other information that follows a set pattern. But people confuse and frustrate him, and he deals with that by not dealing with it. Anya has the ability to understand more about strangers she passes on the street than people who see them regularly ever could, but traditional academics can overwhelm her so she is resistant to studying. And yet both of them are othered and seen as abnormal by everyone around them, building a wall between them and their peers that they both find difficult to overcome.

Anya tries to fit in through masking, pretending as hard as she can to be normal (with limited success) but Demetrius has given up after going so long without anyone helping him better understand others which leads to him disassociating in social situations as a self defense mechanism, to get in and out as quickly and painlessly as possible while telling himself it doesn't matter.

Except it does.

Demetrius didn't need to ask about Damian's stella. But he did. Because he wants to find some sort of common ground with his brother even as he reassures himself that it doesn't matter and he doesn't care. He doesn't pick up on the fact that this makes Damian feel self conscious, that he's comparing his one stella to Demetrius' six and worried their father will love him less for not being as successful. Demetrius doesn't understand how the subject switched to Donovan at all, and shuts down hard when their father is mentioned. Just like he did when Damian called and asked him to be a bridge between them way back when.

(Demetrius warning Damian not to get his hopes up about Donovan coming to meet him also conflicts with his internal dialog about how the people around him don't matter and he doesn't need to care about understanding them. If it actually doesn't matter to him, then he wouldn't care if Donovan blew Damian off.)

Circling back to the original thought though, I desperately hope that we're going to get Demetrius and Anya interacting directly with one another at some point in the future because I have a feeling that Anya's blunt, child-like nature will lead to her just directly telling Demetrius the things that are eluding him when he interacts with others, demystifying all the unspoken social cues he's supposed to yet cannot intuit for the first time in his life. And he is going to be in awe of this child for her ability to not only understand others, but translate for him when he cannot grasp whatever it is they are trying and failing to say to him.

Demetrius could appreciate Anya's abilities, rather than being afraid of or disturbed by them. And they could both understand the feeling of not fitting in with the crowd. Of knowing that others regard them with fear and contempt, or want to use the things that make them different for their own purposes and treat them like they are just a tool instead of a person. The potential is there for a very interesting platonic relationship between two kids who have spent their whole lives feeling like their differences alienated them from everyone else in their life, and in Anya's case a fear that the discovery of that difference would lead to her losing the love of everyone important to her in her life.

[originalaccountname]

I think that, on the topic of Dazai being "made for the dark", it's useful to take a step back and compare him to other characters that had a similar path to his.

Kyouka wasn't always in the PM, and was forcefully brought in when she was a shell of herself. She had natural talents for the skills needed to be an assassin. These skills were nurtured by people who have known darkness their entire lives, who saw them as useful and fulfilling. Except Kyouka didn't like killing, despite being good at it: she didn't want to have to do it. She got help and got out, but she still uses these skills in her new world, just not the same way.

Jouno used to be an executive in a criminal organization. We have seen Jouno in the Hunting Dogs be cruel and mocking. He very efficiently threatened civilians, caused psychological harm to Kunikida while trying to recruit him, roped a child (Aya) into being his witness, and in the past tried to coax a criminal into committing suicide. His own partner, Tetchou, chastises him for these terrible habits, and yet, he wants to help people! Gratitude from the people he helped is worth more than anything, and that's all he needs to be on the side of justice, his strong criminal leanings irrelevant.

Dazai is much like them. His skillset and fragile moral compass were incredibly well-suited for the mafia life. He has talent for business, negotiation, torture, strategy, improvising, etc., and has no qualms about killing. His obsession with death led him to pick the PM as his path, his apathy, skills and insane luck made him at home in organized crime. Yet, his health was getting worse, which meant him being suited for the dark, him being "built" for the mafia life, didn't mean his spirit was. When he left to help people instead, he found more friends, more fulfillment and got better. His previous skills are repurposed or hidden away until needed.

BSD is full of characters who were good at what they did, but unhappy, unfulfilled or unhealthy in their lives. I'd argue that even more characters actively live in that limbo, looking fit for the lives they live, but would be better in a different one, maybe even one a bit harder for them.

Dazai was "made for the dark" the same way Kyouka was made to be an assassin. Dazai found fulfillment in helping people the same way Jouno did. The original statement isn't incorrect, but it's not an absolute truth either; feeling trapped into something you don't like or is harmful to you while being good at or enjoying it is a very common thing that BSD regularly pushes to the full scale of a character's motivations. To not reject how one was "made for" a certain life while fighting or yearning for a different one is compelling: it's spitting in the face of fate in favour of your happiness, it's having agency over your life. It's a good message.

[dailyanarchistposts]

Turbulent times are upon us. Already, blockades, demonstrations, riots, and clashes are occuring regularly. It’s past time to be organizing for the upheavals that are on the way.

But getting organized doesn’t mean joining a pre-existing institution and taking orders. It shouldn’t mean forfeiting your agency and intelligence to become a cog in a machine. From an anarchist perspective, organizational structure should maximize both freedom and voluntary coordination at every level of scale, from the smallest group up to society as a whole.

You and your friends already constitute an affinity group, the essential building block of this model. An affinity group is a circle of friends who understand themselves as an autonomous political force. The idea is that people who already know and trust each other should work together to respond immediately, intelligently, and flexibly to emerging situations.

This leaderless format has proven effective for guerrilla activities of all kinds, as well as what the RAND Corporation calls “swarming” tactics in which many unpredictable autonomous groups overwhelm a centralized adversary. You should go to every demonstration in an affinity group, with a shared sense of your goals and capabilities. If you are in an affinity group that has experience taking action together, you will be much better prepared to deal with emergencies and make the most of unexpected opportunities.

This guide is adapted from an earlier version that appeared in our Recipes for Disaster: An Anarchist Cookbook.

Affinity Groups are Powerful

Relative to their small size, affinity groups can achieve a disproportionately powerful impact. In contrast to traditional top-down structures, they are free to adapt to any situation, they need not pass their decisions through a complicated process of ratification, and all the participants can act and react instantly without waiting for orders—yet with a clear idea of what to expect from one another. The mutual admiration and inspiration on which they are founded make them very difficult to demoralize. In stark contrast to capitalist, fascist, and socialist structures, they function without any need of hierarchy or coercion. Participating in an affinity group can be fulfilling and fun as well as effective.

Most important of all, affinity groups are motivated by shared desire and loyalty, rather than profit, duty, or any other compensation or abstraction. Small wonder whole squads of riot police have been held at bay by affinity groups armed with only the tear gas canisters shot at them.

The Affinity Group is a Flexible Model

Some affinity groups are formal and immersive: the participants live together, sharing everything in common. But an affinity group need not be a permanent arrangement. It can serve as a structure of convenience, assembled from the pool of interested and trusted people for the duration of a given project.

A particular team can act together over and over as an affinity group, but the members can also break up into smaller affinity groups, participate in other affinity groups, or act outside the affinity group structure. Freedom to associate and organize as each person sees fit is a fundamental anarchist principle; this promotes redundancy, so no one person or group is essential to the functioning of the whole, and different groups can reconfigure as needed.

Pick the Scale That’s Right for You

An affinity group can range from two to perhaps as many as fifteen individuals, depending on your goals. However, no group should be so numerous that an informal conversation about pressing matters is impossible. You can always split up into two or more groups if need be. In actions that require driving, the easiest system is often to have one affinity group to each vehicle.

Get to Know Each Other Intimately

Learn each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities and backgrounds, so you know what you can count on each other for. Discuss your analyses of each situation you are entering and what is worth accomplishing in it—identify where they match, where they are complentary, and where they differ, so you’ll be ready to make split-second decisions.

One way to develop political intimacy is to read and discuss texts together, but nothing beats on-the-ground experience. Start out slow so you don’t overextend. Once you’ve established a common language and healthy internal dynamics, you’re ready to identify the objectives you want to accomplish, prepare a plan, and go into action.

Decide Your Appropriate Level of Security

Affinity groups are resistant to infiltration because all members share history and intimacy with each other, and no one outside the group need be informed of their plans or activities.

Once assembled, an affinity group should establish a shared set of security practices and stick to them. In some cases, you can afford to be public and transparent about your activities. in other cases, whatever goes on within the group should never be spoken of outside it, even after all its activities are long completed. In some cases, no one except the participants in the group should know that it exists at all. You and your comrades can discuss and prepare for actions without acknowledging to outsiders that you constitute an affinity group. Remember, it is easier to pass from a high security protocol to a low one than vice versa.

Make Decisions Together

Affinity groups generally operate on via consensus decision-making: decisions are made collectively according to the needs and desires of every individual involved. Democratic voting, in which the majority get their way and the minority must hold their tongues, is anathema to affinity groups—for if a group is to function smoothly and hold together under stress, every individual involved must be satisfied. Before any action, the members of a group should establish together what their personal and collective goals are, what risks they are comfortable taking, and what their expectations of each other are. These matters determined, they can formulate a plan.

Since action situations are always unpredictable and plans rarely come off as anticipated, it may help to employ a dual approach to preparing. On the one hand, you can make plans for different scenarios: If A happens, we’ll inform each other by X means and switch to plan B; if X means of communication is impossible, we’ll reconvene at site Z at Q o’clock. On the other hand, you can put structures in place that will be useful even if what happens is unlike any of the scenarios you imagined. This could mean preparing resources (such as banners, medical supplies, or offensive equipment), dividing up internal roles (for example, scouting, communications, medic, media liaison), establishing communication systems (such as burner phones or coded phrases that can be shouted out to convey information securely), preparing general strategies (for keeping sight of one another in confusing environments, for example), charting emergency escape routes, or readying legal support in case anyone is arrested.

After an action, a shrewd affinity group will meet (if necessary, in a secure location without any electronics) to discuss what went well, what could have gone better, and what comes next.

Tact and Tactics

An affinity group answers to itself alone—this is one of its strengths. Affinity groups are not burdened by the procedural protocol of other organizations, the difficulties of reaching agreement with strangers, or the limitations of answering to a body not immediately involved in the action.

At the same time, just as the members of an affinity group strive for consensus with each other, each affinity group should strive for a similarly considerate relationship with other individuals and groups—or at least to complement others’ approaches, even if others do not recognize the value of this contribution. Ideally, most people should be glad of your affinity group’s participation or intervention in a situation, rather than resenting or fearing you. They should come to recognize the value of the affinity group model, and so to employ it themselves, after seeing it succeed and benefiting from that success.

Organize With Other Affinity Groups

An affinity group can work together with other affinity groups in what is sometimes called a cluster. The cluster formation enables a larger number of individuals to act with the same advantages a single affinity group has. If speed or security is called for, representatives of each group can meet ahead of time, rather than the entirety of all groups; if coordination is of the essence, the groups or representatives can arrange methods for communicating through the heat of the action. Over years of collaborating together, different affinity groups can come to know each other as well as they know themselves, becoming accordingly more comfortable and capable together.

When several clusters of affinity groups need to coordinate especially massive actions—before a big demonstration, for example—they can hold a spokescouncil meeting at which different affinity groups and clusters can inform one another (to whatever extent is wise) of their intentions. Spokescouncils rarely produce seamless unanimity, but they can apprise the participants of the various desires and perspectives that are at play. The independence and spontaneity that decentralization provides are usually our greatest advantages in combat with a better equipped adversary.

Bottomlining

For affinity groups and larger structures based on consensus and cooperation to function, it is essential that everyone involved be able to rely on each other to come through on commitments. When a plan is agreed upon, each individual in a group and each group in a cluster should choose one or more critical aspects of the preparation and execution of the plan and offer to bottomline them. Bottomlining the supplying of a resource or the completion of a project means guaranteeing that it will be accomplished somehow, no matter what. If you’re operating the legal hotline for your group during a demonstration, you owe it to them to make sure someone can handle it even if you get sick; if your group promises to provide the banners for an action, make sure they’re ready, even if that means staying up all night the night before because the rest of your affinity group couldn’t show up. Over time, you’ll learn how to handle crises and who you can count on in them—just as others will learn how much they can count on you.

Go Into Action

Stop wondering what’s going to happen, or why nothing’s happening. Get together with your friends and start deciding what will happen. Don’t go through life in passive spectator mode, waiting to be told what to do. Get in the habit of discussing what you want to see happen—and making those ideas reality.

Without a structure that encourages ideas to flow into action, without comrades with whom to brainstorm and barnstorm and build up momentum, you are likely to be paralyzed, cut off from much of your own potential; with them, your potential can be multiplied by ten, or ten thousand. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world,” Margaret Mead wrote: “it’s the only thing that ever has.” She was referring, whether she knew it or not, to affinity groups. If every individual in every action against the state and status quo participated as part of a tight-knit, dedicated affinity group, the revolution would be accomplished in a few short years.

An affinity group could be a sewing circle or a bicycle maintenance collective; it could come together for the purpose of providing a meal at an occupation or forcing a multinational corporation out of business through a carefully orchestrated program of sabotage. Affinity groups have planted and defended community gardens, built and occupied and burned down buildings, organized neighborhood childcare programs and wildcat strikes; individual affinity groups routinely initiate revolutions in the visual arts and popular music. Your favorite band was an affinity group. An affinity group invented the airplane. Another one maintains this website.

Let five people meet who are resolved to the lightning of action rather than the agony of survival—from that moment, despair ends and tactics begin.

[shoot-i-messed-up]

there is so much here to chew on, brb going to read Mother Courage And Her Children

Hey out of curiosity, I know most of the main cast in CTB is pulled from either Legend of Zelda game canons (Princess Zelda, Lana, Ganondorf in name, etc) or Linked Universe, but out of your original characters (especially Kat, Marigold, and the various Knights of Hyrule), did u give any of them symbolic or referential names?

Oh boy do I got the fun post for you:

Lincoln is straight up my Linksona. Just think of him as another version of the character Link

Marigold is supposed to be the typical red-headed love interest for a Link-like character; even her name is meant to fit right in with characters like Malon, Marin, and Midna.

Warriors's last name was originally going to be Warton, but I changed it to Walton when I learned that it meant "noble."

Meemaw is a reference to the Bertolt Brecht character Mother Courage (from his play Mother Courage and Her Children; I had just finished reading it for a seminar class when CTB first came to me). The characters even share a first name: Anna

Similarly, Kat is based off of Mother Courage's daughter, Kattrin; a famously silent-due-to-truama character

Kat's siblings also share names and fates with Mother Courage's sons: Eli is Eilif, and Cheddar is Swiss Cheese (yes, that's his real name)

Orlanda was named for Virginia Woolf's famous character Orlando; originally, I was going to have Orlanda be nonbinary, but changed my mind when I realized it wouldn't be a good idea to make your sacrificial character your nonbinary representation.

Shigeo's name was originally just going to be Shig, as a reference to Shigeru Miyamoto, but I changed it when I started to rewatch Mob Psycho 100. Shigeo is meant to be a homage to a common original character type I kept reading in Warriors-centric fics: the young Sheikah guy for Warriors to have a romance with. However, Shigeo was never envisioned with a romantic relationship in mind. He was always meant to be this cool, older guy type. However, I did almost have Warriors have a crush on him, then deleted that concept for space.

Gaudin was named after a French criminal for no reason. Genuinely, I just liked the name.

Anders was originally going to be named Betolt in honor of Brecht, but that felt heavy handed.

Jakucho is just meant to be the old woman version of the general Impa character to match the badass young woman version that is actually in Hyrule Warriors. Her name means "silent, lonely listening." I liked how it related to her role as Warriors's mentor/therapist.

Impa's real name, Chiyo, means "thousand generations, thousand worlds." I like how it related to the idea that she's always wanted to assume the same role as her ancestors.

I originally picked their surname Miyashita because the site I was on said it translated to something like "temple below the earth," which would reference the Kakariko Well. Checking now, it actually means "(one who lives) below the shrine," which makes way more sense in retrospect.

Ayane has no special name meaning, but her character... you do realize she's just Mask, right?

General Whitestone's name came from me asking myself what would a highly suspicious white guy in charge be called?

The name Nephus translates to "a God's son who will also become a God." Do I mean that literally? Who knows. At the very least, I wanted a snappy, but impressive-sounding name.

Vasileios means "royal or kingly". His middle name, Orionides, implies that he's the son of a great hunter.

Icarius's name is meant to be reminiscent to that of Icaurs, the famous mythological figure.

Philo means "lover or friend." A very cute name for a not-so-cute boy.

You probably have realized that the House of Nephus characters are heavily Greek/Roman coded. Originally, they were going to be Russian coded, but then the line about Faovaria being unable to attack some other kingdom due to their harsh winters would have fallen into question.

Faovaria's symbol being an octopus is a reference to how the octopuses symbolized immortality in ancient Greece.

Both of those were super off-topic. Sorry lol

I'll end with a fun fact you shouldn't look too deep into: the empire name Faovaria is derived from Farore. This was due to a concept I changed my mind about. Genuinely, it's not relevant anymore. Do not incorporate it into your theories, or something.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

j word appreciation post

I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN TALKING WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT... A CERTAIN OTHER CHARACTER WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED.... AND I NEED TO TIP THE SCALES BACK TO WHERE THEY SHOULD BE plus I just rolled his SR Nightmare Suit card so--

askjlbfbuoasofbua fqreryoqiw Okay but seriously, I feel like Jade really gets to shine in this event (which is really ironic given that I feel his appearance was lackluster in the very first Halloween event, when he was actually a SSR). Like, he doesn't do or say anything world-changing. However, he does get many opportunities to just be a menace to his classmates and you can tell he's really living it up for the Halloween season 😭

In his Nightmare Suit summon animation, he sounds so happy shouting "This is Halloween!!" You seriously have to go and listen to it for yourself to understand how excited he is. Aaaaah, it fills my heart with so much joy seeing him all hyped for the holiday… And he's got voice lines where he's so gleeful about the thought of scaring others... Customers at the Mostro Lounge, Malleus, etc. He even praises Jack for his delightful (but quickly changes it to "evil/wicked") frights.

Some other standout moments that made me laugh:

His voice line where he asks you to please not poke him in the forehead even though the slicked back hairstyle basically invites us to OTL J WORD IS SELF AWARE

BENDING DOWN TO EPEL'S HEIGHT SO EPEL CAN PRACTICE "ESCORTING" HIM... J WORD STOP IT YOU'RE KILLING THIS GUY, YOU'RE RUBBING IT IN HIS FACE

Fucking with Epel by lying to him about which plants are common and then actually telling the truth later (when Epel insists he won't fall for it again), WHICH MAKES EPEL LOOK STUPID IN FRONT OF THEIR UPPERCLASSMEN

Being the one to open the Halloween Town door... Absolutely no fucks given, just lets his curiosity lead the way

HIM AND AZUL LOWKEY TAG-TEAM INSULTING LEONA AND SAYING HE'S PROBABLY TONE DEAF... You two better stfu 😭 HE'S GONNA PROVE YOU WRONG WHEN THE HALLOWEEN EVENT MANDATED SONG DROPS… and then J word sings??? GOD I WISH 5HIS EVENT WSS VOIcED

Cbsbsjwnwn HIMWNqtING TO HELP DALLY fIND LOVE BY DOINH DmTH UNSPEAKABLE

Backing off SO fast when Leona demands they play Magift with him in exchange for singing at the lounge

Joining in with everyone making fun of Leona being shockingly princely and picking on Grim's handwriting...

Makes fun of Jamil for thinking a rustling wound was made by a bug (it was actually a rat)

DHLBOSVASVFAS GETTING COMPETITIVE WHEN LOCK CALLS HIM BORING... and then taking a present which is so clearly booby trapped just so Jade can prove he can have an entertaining surprised reaction...

J WoRD iS LITERALLY OU t hERE thRIVING 🥺 I love that for him………………… ………… …………… ……. …… ………….. ….. …. … …….. …. … . .:: .. ….. … . … . : .. . . . .. .

[luveline]

hi again!! i saw you mention wanting to write for prince!steve, and i also saw that you write with dialogue prompts so i present to you:

A: “I’ll take care of you.”

B: “It’s rotten work.”

A: “Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

maybe the reader gets injured doing something for training, but it’s all up to you!! i’m sure we’ll love it regardless. kisses!!

thank you for requesting! —prince steve au. fem, 1.5k

Pain was familiar before you came to the palace. Small pains and big, all kinds of hurting, poverty-driven neglect leading to toothaches and back pain, twisted ankles walked on without choice, sore skin otherwise ignored. It didn’t matter if you got hurt as long as you lived. 

Not in a dramatic sense. It didn’t feel dramatic at the time, only miserable. You go to work with a migraine because you can’t afford not to. You walk home in the dark because the mag-trams are getting too expensive. You break your holo, so you make do without one. You pick your head up to keep looking both ways and you get everywhere you need to go because you need to work, to get paid, to eat, to work. 

That’s how it always was. So getting sick didn’t matter. An injury was temporary pain that your body would fix eventually, and if it didn’t, well, it’s cheaper to pull a tooth than pay to have it filled. 

You were used to your sorry life, and then you met Steve. Tall, brown-haired, brown-eyed Steve. Looking at him sometimes is enough to make your whole body a void for things you used to complain about; you wake up across from him in the big bed and forget you can feel pain at all, if only because he’s already awake, waiting for you to open your eyes before he rests his hand on your cheek. You met him and your soul-mark glowed with a lacy, almost feathered light, your wrist braceleted with white colour that soon faded to mellow blue. 

When you first meet your soulmate, the colours you make tend to shift. It takes time for your heart to decide if love is pink or orange or blue. It seems to have settled now —when Steve kisses you, your mark turns a Gaussian amber. When you kiss back, his mark turns light pink, like the lotus flowers he keeps in his private gardens. 

Right now, your mark hums an angry red. It’s typical in its colour, and it’s common. Most people’s marks turn red when they’re hurting. Yours is a crimson so dark it looks black in the dim lighting, and it throbs in time with your pain like a vexing metronome. You’ll never be able to put it from your mind if the mark continues to remind you. 

Steve is uncharacteristically quiet at your side. His own mark is lit in sympathy, mostly pink with his affection, but threaded in red like spider lily flowers blooming against his forearm. 

He shifts beside you. It’s been more than a month since your wedding, and yet he’s careful with you. Almost shy, though he can be brash and cocky. You know intimately how sweet Steve can be when he’s in love. 

It doesn’t make any sense. 

“How’s the pain now?” he asks, his eyebrows pulled together at their starts. 

“Not so bad.” 

“Could you rate it on a scale? If zero was no pain at all, and ten were enough to warrant another dose of white willow bark?” 

“What if I were at a five?” you ask. 

“A half dose and a good kiss?” 

You turn his way but flinch when it puts undue pressure on your leg, a stab of hot pain jumping from your fractured tibia to deep inside of your hips. Steve sees your wincing and presses your shoulder into the bed, leaning over you, a scolding he doesn’t give in the pinch of his eyebrows as he leans down to kiss you. It’s more caress than kiss, his hand cupping your cheek, his lips barely touching yours before he rests his nose at your brow. “Can you stay still?” he asks. 

“Sorry.” 

“Just don’t want you to hurt yourself again.” 

He lifts his head. Holds your cheek for longer than you can work out why, dotting another soft kiss to your nose before slinking out of bed to find you some white willow bark tincture. It’s a potent pain reliever. You shouldn’t have too much of it. If you were still living your past life, you’d be chewing on ginger skins trying to limp your way back into work. There’d be no time to stop. 

“Steve,” you say, watching him a small ways away at the table of your quarters. He turns to you. “I don’t really need anything else.” 

“You said it’s hurting?” Steve pipettes the tincture into a cup of water. “You said a five, and you lie. Knowing you, it’s closer to an eight, you just don’t want to tell me.” 

It might not be as extreme as an eight now, laying down and bandaged, but it hurts badly and a tincture would solve this. Still, you say, “It’s fine, I don’t need it.” 

He brings the glass regardless and puts it on the nightstand. Your bed is yards too big for one person, even two, but when Steve sits next to you he leaves no room between you. He looks down at you fondly. Brown hair like down feather falls against his forehead. 

“You’re going to be in pain for a long time.” He brings a hand to your cheek again. “It might sound tame, a plateau fracture, but that’s still a fracture. You know doctors say fracture when they mean broken, right? You broke your leg. It’s okay to want pain relief.” 

“I knew that. I didn’t know you knew it.” 

“Impolite.” He ducks down to look you in the eyes. You’re a little skewiff, straight to his sideways, but it gets a point across. He wants to kiss you while you’ve said something maddening. “I don’t see why you’re so insistent on pretending it hasn’t happened and that you’re fine. You got hurt, and you’ll stay hurt for a while. It might be weeks of bed and– and you need to be looked after. I don’t know why you’re so guilty about it.” 

“I’m not guilty,” you deny guilty, turning your face to lean into his hand, rather than continue to face his imploring gaze. “I just… I’m not used to this. Before, if something went wrong, I couldn’t just lay down and wait to get better, and I surely wouldn’t be laying here with doctors and servants and the ladies in waiting all trying to make sure– It’s like it’s not my fault, and that doesn’t make any sense. I don’t want to be a burden on everyone. More than I already am,” you add, a bitter mumble nearly lost to his palm. 

He makes a promise, then, turning your face to the light. “I’ll take care of you,” he says. 

“It’s rotten work.” 

Steve shakes his head gently. “Not to me. Not if it’s you.” 

You press your tongue to your teeth, worried you’ll say something you’ll regret. You don’t want him to go. You want him to mean exactly what he says, to stay here and take care of you, and to enjoy doing it. Wouldn’t it be nice to be loved for love's sake? 

Steve shuffles inward and encourages your head into his lap, thrusting pillows aside to take up station against your headboard. He frames your face, upside down, before both hands begin to run down your arms. A hug, in a way, as he twists his face to kiss the skin beside your eye. You squint at the proximity. 

“You’re not a burden,” he says, hands climbing upwards now, warm and steady where they travel, “you’re my wife. My cherished wife, remember?” 

His tone is silk. 

“You… haven’t proved to be a wretched husband,” you confess. 

“I did try. But loving you has been easy. It makes husbandry a gift.” He laughs at his grandiose and gives you a kiss that’s more familiar by your ear, his pleading, searching kisses, the kind he likes to press to all your softest junctures. “I wish you could understand that we’re marked for a reason. We were always meant to be together, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to stand with me. I’m happy you’re here. I want to take care of you.” 

Not if it’s you, he’d said. 

You wonder if it might be okay to cry. He’s massaging your arms, still bent in half over you trying to kiss some belief in him into your forehead. 

“It’ll be okay,” he murmurs between chaste, silent kisses, “really. You don’t have to pretend things don’t hurt you anymore.” 

You feel strange, then, shivery and weak as you turn your face into his thigh. His hand slips behind your back to hold you.

“Can I convince you to drink this tincture now?” he asks, just above your ear. 

“I love you,” you mumble. 

He pauses his trailing hands. You squeeze your eyes closed, but he doesn’t pause for long enough to scare you. “I love you,” he says. “Since the day we met, I’ve loved you. I’ll take care of you.” 

He is easy to believe. 

[paddlescuddlesbubblesgurgles]

A Series Of Firsts

I remember the first time my scale read ‘error’. It ticked up to 408lbs and then the dreaded letters appeared. 

I remember the first time I ate enough for more than 3 people. Just 3 is somewhat common for me. 

I remember the first time my knees hurt just from trying to stand up. I’m really heavy. That was 40lbs ago. 

I remember the first time I became so full my overhang was lifted slightly off my fatpad. So full I was distended to absurdity. 

I remember the first time I learned if I lifted up my gut with my arms, it relieved my lower back pain. 

I remember the first time a chair broke beneath my weight, I would also end up breaking a couch, and a bed. Then a toilet cracked beneath my weight. 

I remember the first time a car noticeably sunk and the metal squealed when I sat inside it, and then the reverse when I got out.

I remember the first time my belly popped a button off a shirt, then it would rip one. Same for my waist breaking buttons off pants, and my thighs ripped holes in the legs. I have also destroyed a few pairs of underwear when I’ve sat down.

I remember the first time I realized my chest is bigger than many others’ chests. Usually mine are bigger. 

I remember the first time my side profile in the mirror shocked me. Can I be this wide? That is constant now.

I remember the first time I became winded just bending over it squatting down for longer than a minute or two. 

I remember the first time someone implied I need an extended mechanical grabber to pick things up because I’m so fat that my belly prevents me. 

I remember the first time I realized I’m getting too fat for easy penetration. 

I remember the first time I needed to lift up my belly and get my arm underneath it to pleasure myself. 

I remember the first time I was so stuffed full I couldn’t reach. My belly was stopping my completely no matter the position.

I remember the first time I realized nothing in most clothing stores fits me. I cannot shop in person usually. 

I remember the first time I outgrew my favorite shirt. This happens constantly now. 

I remember the first time I was out of breath from simply standing up after stuffing myself. This would create an inescapable pattern.

I remember the first time I ate an entire cake at once. I actually bought 2, couldn’t finish the second. 

I remember the first time I ate so much I fell asleep trying to digest it. An extra large pizza from a local place that I ate 90% of. 

I remember the first time I cured my insomnia by eating so much I couldn’t stay awake. 

I remember the first time I learned my body was desirable, that there are people who love pigs. They love gigantic, overfed bellies. 

I remember the first time I started trying to belch to make more room inside my gut. Pretty much every meal now. 

I remember the first time I realized a single thigh of mine is bigger than most people’s entire torsos. My belly can threaten someone’s entire body in size. 

I remember the first time I ate 15 cookies in a row. Regular habit now. 

I remember the first time someone told me to count calories and start overeating every meal. I had 7-10k every single day for 12 days straight. 

I remember the first time I ate enough for 8 people. An entire pizza, and 3 entrees completely inside my belly, with a 2 liter Diet Coke. 

I remember the first time I ate so much I couldn’t swallow anymore, and my jaw hurt, and I was actively fighting to keep it down. More common now. 

I remember the first time I ate an entire tailgater tray from a fast food restaurant. 

I remember the first time I ate 8 combos worth of food. Almost the entire menu. 

I remember the first time I smothered someone with just my belly. Completely enveloped their head in my overhang. 

I remember the first time someone made fun of me and called me fat in public. Unprompted stranger. That hurt. 

I remember the first time I wanted my belly to hang to my knees, and become so much bigger than it is now. That was 30lbs ago or so. 

I remember the first time I considered myself too fat, too heavy for myself.

I remember the first time I strongly considered going much further past my max weight, just because someone asked me to.

I remember the first time I outgrew a measuring tape. Those 60”s just aren’t enough for my body now. 

I remember the first time I realized I am living to eat. 

[crazyw3irdo]

anyway has anyone else watched re:creators cause that fuckin ruled

you ever watch a show and are just like “holy shit that was so good, now that i’ve seen it all i can’t be spoiled i can’t wait to see what other people thought of it!” and search up its tag and then there’s like. 10 posts about it

[hayleyolivia]

Head Advice #1: Everybody’s head is the same size.

Okay, not really, but basically. There’s a reason you don’t have to know your head circumference to find a sunhat. We all have pretty similar head sizes, especially from the visual distance we usually draw characters.

The only exception to this is babies or children under 10. Those guys definitely have smaller heads! (But did you know our skulls are already over 90% their full adult size by the age of 5?)

Different style choices demand different proportions, but in general, it’s good advice to pick a head size, and stick with it!

Head Advice #2: You can use head size to indicate a character’s size.

Big characters don’t look like average sized people scaled up. And you can’t just scale down to get a small person!

You can make a character look very big and tall or very very small — even if they are standing alone in a vast white nothingness — just by how how they are proportioned! The most important proportion (in my humble opinion) is their head size. Look me in the eyes and tell me you can’t tell which of these characters are big and which are small.

Head Advice #3: Don’t go shrinking anyone’s head.

The most common head sins I see happen when an artist is trying to indicate (body) size difference in a couple, and use their heads to do it. The result is an image that looks something like this:

If you don’t want your lovers to look like they belong in different animated tv shows, don’t go shrinking anyone’s head! Use their bodies (hands and feet and bellies and muscles) to show off their size differences.

Anyway, that’s all. Having fun giving head. I mean doing head. I mean drawing heads.