#and the saddest thing is that you’re still losers

[blonkk]

“so sad being a harry potter fan/jkr stan and a transphobe pick a struggle” ok but how’s it a struggle? ?? because weird losers i don’t know will try to bully me on the internet ??? y’all are just smug because you were nobody in high school and now you feel like you win at life because you have internet clout from tweens and perverted adult men plus the duds who jumped on the bandwagon because they have zero values and beliefs of their own …. like stop projecting i promise no one gives a fuck that you’re “different” it’s still annoying and your green shaved head and mushroom tattoo aren’t punk or even really that cool at all….get a grip fr …anyways i’m gonna struggle by A) being objectively right and B) enjoying my childish stories that have no shortage of material (and more on the way!) to keep me entertained

[h-didanart]

So Nexus

I have been thinking a bit about my aus and decided to try and see how Nexus and their arc could potentially fit in them, as an experiment. And these results were actually pretty interesting! I like a few of these ideas and think I’m going to actively incorporate them into the aus, tho I’ll let y’all guess which ones those are :)

Man, Aus are fun

Your eyes are not deceiving you, those are indeed the Bloodmoons in Nexus and Moon’s place, not the weirdest swap in that au surprisingly.

Anyways, the first twins would be absolutely merciless in their taunts to the newer ones, just ruthless, utterly unforgiving. New BM would kinda get a bit self conscious and offended, tho I can see them taking up that suggestion and fully leaning into the plague thematic (this only came to be because I ironically called them The Plague after I drew this… it isn’t ironic anymore), might also be because of that obedience code they have though , honestly I’m not sure yet to be honest :P

(I have to talk about this au at some point lol)

This one was extra fun cuz I already had a concept for the Evil!Sun of the au and it actually kinda fits really well for a ‘Morningstar villain arc’!

In short, Dawn is a Moon that kidnaps adopts other Suns cuz he killed his and has lived with the guilt ever since, he wants to keep them safe and away from any sort of danger, Solar fucking hates him for trying to kidnap their Sun (yes Solar as in Nice!Eclipse is in the au, I’ll explain later) Morningstar would leave to team up with him to find a way to fix their little sibling who was affected by the multidimensional thing but didn’t die

Ok, now we have the not so silly stuff

I was struck with quite an idea for Get in Losers, since Old Moon didn’t die there’d be no need for a New Moon… unless someone else was counting on New Moon’s existence and decided to take things into his own hands.

So there’s an extra moon in the daycare, one “raised” by the Creator, and he’s treated well and all but is he really wanted there? It certainly doesn’t feel like it. At a point after the multidimensional event happens they’d have a breakdown over their identity, they aren’t needed, they aren’t Moon, then who are they?

One thing I feel the need to share with y’all about this is that Dusk would be watching all the drama in the dimension go down like the soap opera it is, and at the point of Nexus’s breakdown he’d just be staring at the lunar model while eating fries. It’s all entertainment for him

[Nexus’s blurry dialogue reads: You know nothing of what I’m trying to do, of what I’m going through. So stop acting as if you cared about him, we both know you didn’t. Now you’re going to stay put in your cell until I’ve got this all ready. And then you’ll finally do some good with that pathetic life of yours]

And, of course, the longest one is for Bloody and Harvest, why wouldn’t it?

Solar’s death was not only extremely unexpected, but it was also extremely hard hitting for everyone. Bloodmoon kinda just “accepted” it after a while. Solar is gone, they will never see him again, there’s nothing to do about it. They avoid the subject as much as they can besides that. Until Nexus kidnaps them. He has a plan to bring Solar back using them as a sacrifice. And this greatly upsets them. They see no point to it, moreover they reason that Nexus is just blinded by grief, so they attempt to talk to the bot.

It does not go well.

They still managed to escape the situation however, carrying weapons around turning out to be useful for once. Bloody is lowkey kinda mad they actually had to use the taser gun though. They leave Nexus locked up in that place and go tell the Daycare idiots what just happened, and then they take a really long vacation far away from that place, maybe go to some mountains or something. Would Nexus track them again? I’d like to think not.

Tho the saddest thing about this that I thought of was the fact that had Nexus not kidnapped them and actually explained the plan, Bloodmoon might have considered it.

I had a lot of fun with this ngl, feel free to leave your thoughts, I’d love to hear y’all screaming at me over the emotional heartache I’m causing :D

[hockstetters-overbite]

The fact that in chapter 2 henry still sees himself as in his prime when he was in his teens bullying the losers shows how far gone he is and that’s one of the saddest things ever

Because yes, sure he was in a terrible situation with his family but he was able to be happy with his friends before he killed them and his dad

He still imagines himself in the period of his life where he was somewhat able to be happy even if it was through an outlet like bullying and physical violence

That is what makes Henry such a tragic and real character, even if you’re supposed to hate him because of the stuff he does and how he’s a villain you can’t help but feel bad for him

[liberalsarecool]

Final word on Smith/Rock

From Kareem Abdul-Jabbar:

When Will Smith stormed onto the Oscar stage to strike Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife’s short hair, he did a lot more damage than just to Rock’s face. With a single petulant blow, he advocated violence, diminished women, insulted the entertainment industry, and perpetuated stereotypes about the Black community.

That’s a lot to unpack. Let’s start with the facts: Rock made a reference to Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, as looking like Demi Moore in GI Jane, in which Moore had shaved her head. Jada Pinkett Smith suffers from alopecia, which causes hair loss. Ok, I can see where the Smiths might not have found that joke funny. But Hollywood awards shows are traditionally a venue where much worse things have been said about celebrities as a means of downplaying the fact that it’s basically a gathering of multimillionaires giving each other awards to boost business so they can make even more money.

The Smiths could have reacted by politely laughing along with the joke or by glowering angrily at Rock. Instead, Smith felt the need to get up in front of his industry peers and millions of people around the world, hit another man, then return to his seat to bellow: “Keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth.” Twice.

Some have romanticized Smith’s actions as that of a loving husband defending his wife. Comedian Tiffany Haddish, who starred in the movie Girls Trip with Pinkett Smith, praised Smith’s actions: “[F]or me, it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen because it made me believe that there are still men out there that love and care about their women, their wives.”

Actually, it was the opposite. Smith’s slap was also a slap to women. If Rock had physically attacked Pinkett Smith, Smith’s intervention would have been welcome. Or if he’d remained in his seat and yelled his post-slap threat, that would have been unnecessary, but understandable. But by hitting Rock, he announced that his wife was incapable of defending herself—against words. From everything I’d seen of Pinkett Smith over the years, she’s a very capable, tough, smart woman who can single-handedly take on a lame joke at the Academy Awards show.

This patronizing, paternal attitude infantilizes women and reduces them to helpless damsels needing a Big Strong Man to defend their honor least they swoon from the vapors. If he was really doing it for his wife, and not his own need to prove himself, he might have thought about the negative attention this brought on them, much harsher than the benign joke. That would have been truly defending and respecting her. This “women need men to defend them” is the same justification currently being proclaimed by conservatives passing laws to restrict abortion and the LGBTQ+ community.

Worse than the slap was Smith’s tearful, self-serving acceptance speech in which he rambled on about all the women in the movie King Richard that he’s protected. Those who protect don’t brag about it in front of 15 million people. They just do it and shut up. You don’t do it as a movie promotion claiming how you’re like the character you just won an award portraying. But, of course, the speech was about justifying his violence. Apparently, so many people need Smith’s protection that occasionally it gets too much and someone needs to be smacked.

What is the legacy of Smith’s violence? He’s brought back the Toxic Bro ideal of embracing Kobra Kai teachings of “might makes right” and “talk is for losers.” Let’s not forget that this macho John Wayne philosophy was expressed in two movies in which Wayne spanked grown women to teach them a lesson. Young boys—especially Black boys—watching their movie idol not just hit another man over a joke, but then justify it as him being a superhero-like protector, are now much more prone to follow in his childish footsteps. Perhaps the saddest confirmation of this is the tweet from Smith’s child Jaden: “And That’s How We Do It.”

The Black community also takes a direct hit from Smith. One of the main talking points from those supporting the systemic racism in America is characterizing Blacks as more prone to violence and less able to control their emotions. Smith just gave comfort to the enemy by providing them with the perfect optics they were dreaming of. Many will be reinvigorated to continue their campaign to marginalize African Americans and others through voter suppression campaign.

As for the damage to show business, Smith’s violence is an implied threat to all comedians who now have to worry that an edgy or insulting joke might be met with violence. Good thing Don Rickles, Bill Burr, or Ricky Gervais weren’t there. As comedian Kathy Griffin tweeted: “Now we all have to worry about who wants to be the next Will Smith in comedy clubs and theaters.”

The one bright note is that Chris Rock, clearly stunned, managed to handle the moment with grace and maturity. If only Smith’s acceptance speech had shown similar grace and maturity—and included, instead of self-aggrandizing excuses, a heartfelt apology to Rock.

💯

[volleychumps]

if you write for ushijima (if you don’t just ignore this lol) could you do one where he’s afraid he’s too boring or not affectionate for his s/o but they reassure him they love him how he’s is

My first Wakatoshi!!!<3 he’s one of my favorites he doesn’t get enough love tbh:(

Must I Prove It, Then? (Ushijima x reader)

Words: 1560

Warnings: None 

------------------------------

“Tendou Satori you better share your Cheerios with Semi or else. Can we maintain peace on the bus this time? Please?” 

“Hand it over, loser.”

“Pry them from my cold dead hands.” 

You sigh as you do another headcount, your boyfriend standing behind you in a guard-like manner without really meaning to, your position as both his manager and girlfriend lacking any solid boundary between the two. 

Ushijima blinks when Goshiki offers to carry your bags to the bus for you, blinking a second time when you accept with a thankful smile, ruffling his hair afterwards. 

“Thank you Goshiki-Kun!” 

“Anything for you, Y/N-senpai!” 

“Since when are you close with our first year?” Ushijima’s deep voice makes you jump a little, mostly because you weren’t used to hearing it that often, as you watch Goshiki easily haul both of your overnight bags into the bus. 

You shrug, smiling a little before pecking his chiseled jaw from your height, voice teasing as you start to follow Tendou and his shit-eating grin. 

“It’s not like you were going to offer, were you?” Your voice was light and joking as you boarded, motioning for Ushijima to follow, but he doesn’t. Not yet anyway, seeming to be rooted to his place in the pavement as realization dawns onto the stoic boy. 

Was he...not enough for you? 

“Oi. We can’t exactly get to the prelims without your famous ass, right?” Tendou calls from the window, causing you and many other team members to share a facepalm at the lack of the redhead’s filter. Ushijima jogs to climb on, taking his seat next to you as you slap your forehead, forgetting something. 

“Hey, love? Mind swapping seats with me so I can go over the plays with Goshiki just to make sure he knows them?” 

You scratch the back of your head at his responding head tilt, making you hold back your gush at how adorable that was. 

“I’ll still be here next to you! Besides, you like sleeping while you can to make sure you’re all rested, right?” 

Ushijima shuffles out of his aisle seat to sit in the window one when you emerge, Tendou instigating unrealistic drama as you flip him off, high-fiving Semi afterwards. 

“Did the power-couple have a fight? Should I come up and help you lovebirds couple counsel?” 

“You’re sitting in the back all by yourself. Take a wild guess on why you’re single.” 

Ushijima watches as you laugh along with a smirking Semi, looking down at your intertwined hands as he strokes his thumb against your knuckle. 

Had he...ever been able to make you laugh like that? 

Wakatoshi hardly slept a wink the whole ride there, thoughts for once, spinning with something other than volleyball. 

-------------------------

“Y/N-senpai-!” 

“I’ll bring her bags.” 

The chilly atmosphere settled over the team as Tendou over-dramatically shivers, and you bring a hand up to your neck, frowning at the off-aura of your boyfriend. Goshiki remained frozen in place as Ushijima plucks them from his grasp, wondering if this was his last night to live as he watches his captain enter the inn first.

“Tendou, did you piss in his cheerios?” Semi mutters as you flick his ear, irritated as you motion for the team to hurry up and follow in suit to their captain to enter the inn, Semi rubbing his ear in irritation as the team files in. 

“Quiet doesn’t equate to scary, people. Get a move on, and don’t talk bad about your captain.” 

“You mean your lover?” 

“Tendou, I’ll forbid any and all snacks on the bus-” 

“Awh~” 

Dinner was quite an experience. You sweatdrop at the large pile of protein on your plate as Ushijima eats one piece of meat, putting two on your plate for every one he eats as you try to stop him from doing so, a blushing mess. 

“Wakatoshi, you usually eat like a race horse. You have to keep your strength up for your performance tomorrow.” The team advisor says worriedly, adjusting his glasses as Ushijima shrugs, continuing his actions as you put a hand on his arm gently. 

“Please eat until you’re satisfied. Okay?” 

“Booooo Y/N’s trying to sabotage us-” 

“Strike two, Satori!” 

“Ohhhh shit she pulled out your real name.” Semi snickers alongside Goshiki as the rehead wilts. Meanwhile, you watch as Ushijima nods once, not talking at all as you arch a brow. Even if he didn’t talk much, he still typically made small talk at meals with you, cracking a smile now and then at something you said. 

Something was definitely up. 

After dinner, you washed up after ensuring that Shirabu and Semi would keep the rowdiness to a minimum in their shared rooms, walking down the hall to your own singular room to see Ushijima standing in front of it. You continue to dry your hair as you slip your key card in, startling him slightly as you open your door, offering him a small smile gently. 

“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” 

“Can’t I...say goodnight to you?” 

You blink, previous suspicious confirmed as you pull the tall boy into your room by his arm, making sure the hallways were empty as you did so. You cross your arms, ignoring the foreign look of surprise that crosses the captain’s face as he now stands in the middle of your hotel room. 

“Alright.” You start softly, slinging the damp towel on a nearby chair. “What’s up?” 

His head tilts again. “What do you mean?” 

“You’re acting strange. And that’s not good.” You approach him, sitting down on the edge of your bed before motioning for him to sit. Ushijima sits down with a fridgidness in his movements as you begin to pull your hair up. 

Do you not see him as a man? Why would you just let him into your-?

“I don’t like it.” your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Ushijima lifts his head slightly to look over at your eyes downcast at your twiddling thumbs. “You seem...different. Like you’re trying to force yourself to be something you’re not.”

His chest twinges when you lift your head, the saddest expression he’s ever seen crossing the beautiful features he loved so much. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Your voice cracks, and so does Ushijima’s wall he had built around his feelings. 

“No.” 

“Then what?” You urge softly, and Ushijima carefully takes one of your hands in both of his, pulling it into his lap as he breathes in a shaky sigh. A sigh that was unusual for the usual confident, number one spiker in the nation. 

“I...feel like you deserve better.” Your silence makes him continue, his thumbs stroking your hand as you listen intently. “I’m boring, aren’t I? Tendou’s an idiot, but he can make you laugh. Goshiki is innocent, but he’s still more affectionate than me. Even Semi...it seems like he’s more trustworthy to you.” 

His hands tighten around yours. “Don’t you ever think that?” 

Your free hand moves to cup Ushijima’s jaw, lifting it from its’ downcast position as his usual fierce gaze was now brimmed with insecurity and uncertainess. 

“Never. Those thoughts never cross my mind.” You say, feeling Ushijima relax into your palm, eyes closing as you swallow, continuing your rare heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. 

“I love you, Wakatoshi. No one else. I love how your secretly protective of me, without even realizing you’re doing it. You do it because you care. I love how you always make sure to text me every night even though we see each other almost every day. Even if you’re quiet, I can still feel how much you care through your actions.” You ramble, eyes determined to make your boyfriend feel loved. 

“But do you know what I love the most?” 

Ushijima’s prompting stare makes you smile widely, kissing his cheek. 

“Everything. The whole thing, and all your little quirks. It’s you, okay?” You breathe out a shaky sigh as Ushijima’s hands find your waist, pulling you closer as your arms wrap around his neck, pulling you into a tight embrace. 

“It’s always been you.” 

“Y/N.” Ushijima digs his face into the crook of your neck as you smile over his shoulder. “I...feel the same.” 

You laugh at his aloofness, pulling back slightly to brush your nose with his. “Care to show me?” 

His lips press brush againast yours before you feel him pull back, standing abruptly. 

“I really shouldn’t um, be here.” 

You grin at his flustered expression, pulling him back down with a wink. “I know you’re a rule follower, love, but maybe...” You look away, biting your lip. “You can stay with me tonight? Just to uh...cuddle?” 

Ushijima blinks, and you’re worried he’s crashed before he nods curtly, and you laugh excitedly before climbing into bed, feeling his weight dip into the other side of the bed. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

You blush, feeling Ushijima pull you close with one arm as the other pulls the lampstring, smiling when he starts with kisses on your cheek, peppering kisses until his lips brush yours.

“I thought you’d never ask, love.” 

As he does so, hearts hammering in both your chests, you realize this is the best night of your life with the words he whispers against yours lips. 

“I love you.” 

[petri808]

A Bond Built Through Adversity

For @itafushiweek bonus day

Bang Bang Bang “WAKE UP!!” Gojo cackled in the dorm’s hallway. Bang Bang Bang “RISE AND SHINE!!”

Slowly, but surely two grumpy faces shambled out from their rooms, each using the doors threshold to hold themselves upright. The sun had barely cracked the horizon, and neither were thrilled by the early morning wakeup call!

“What the fuck do you want?” Megumi spat out as he rubbed his eyes. “It better be good!”

But Itadori…

“Oi!” Gojo clapped his hands loudly in front of the man. “Wake up!”

… Itadori was sleeping where he stood. “Huh?” One eye cracked open. “Ye-yeah I’m up. What’s up?”

“Today we’re going on a special field trip to the mountains!” Gojo clasped his hands in front of himself with a mischievous grin. “You’re growing too soft, so a lo—ng hike is just what you need.”

“Are you crazy!” Megumi snapped to attention.

“Of course, I am,” Gojo’s smile never faltered. “Isn’t that obvious by now?”

Megumi crossed his arms in a huff. “Well, I’m not moving until you give me a damn good reason.”

“Megu—” Gojo reached out with a whiny voice, and pulled his hand lose, throwing on his saddest, please, for me smile. “Be a good boy for me, Megu…”

Yuuji quickly straightened up stiff as a board in annoyance and smacked Gojo’s hand away from Megumi. “Stop it with that cutesy stuff, just answer the question.”

“My, my, Yuuji, such a morning grump,” Gojo teased knowingly. “Fine. It’s a bonding exercise, so dress for a hike, pack a backpack with water, a towel, and be out front in 20 minutes.” But still when nobody moved. “Chop, chop!” He clapped his hands condescendingly. “It’s best to get an early start before the sun is high.”

Through the muttered swears and slams of dresser drawers, the students gathered the things their teacher had told them to pack. Megumi was the closest to a morning person of the pair and even he was fuming over being awoken at such an early hour. If it were for a mission, fine, but not some stupid hike into the mountains! They each had their reasons for being annoyed with the whole situation, but for Yuuji it was different. Frankly, he didn’t care about going on a hike, or a bonding exercise. The moment Gojo grabbed Megumi’s hand it woke him up and not in a happy way.

“Oh, hell no!” Megumi snapped as his eyes trailed up the steep, long, narrow stone steps leading through and disappearing into the thicket of pine trees. “You’ve got to be kidding us!”

“There’s a prize at the end,” Gojo wrapped an arm around Megumi’s shoulders, taking his time to lean in and whisper close to the man’s ear. “I promise you’ll like it.”

Seeing his friend’s fist ball up, Yuuji pulled Gojo off Megumi. “Come on, come on, let’s get this shit over with.”

Yuuji did his best to stay between Gojo and Megumi as they walked up the stairs, but it wasn’t easy. The incline was quite steep, following the side of a mountain, with dense brush along the edges. It was certainly a very old, worn trail and one not used very often in modern times. Could anyone be blamed for not using it? First off, it was in the Hakone national park, half a kilometer off a hidden trail, and up a ridge. Park rangers probably didn’t know it existed, so how Gojo knew of the place Yuuji had no idea. He assumed this would lead to some ancient and abandoned mountain shrine once used by jujutsu sorcerers. Maybe Sukuna would know of its existence?

‘I don’t, so don’t ask,’ the voice in his head answered the question. ‘I’m old, but I don’t know everything.’

‘Surprising,’ Yuuji growled back at Sukuna for eavesdropping on his thoughts.

‘Oi, pay attention,’ the voice growled back.

‘To what?’

‘Your boy.’

‘My—’ Yuuji cut off his response when he saw what was happening ahead of him. He’d been so focused on the natural surroundings, he forgot about the unnatural one taking place. ‘That damn, irritating!’ Yuuji walked faster to catch up with Gojo and Megumi, cutting in between and forcing Gojo to step backwards. “Less talking, more walking.”

“But Yuuji,” Gojo wrapped his arm around the man and forced him to line up with him. “How are we supposed to…” he leaned in with a grin, “bond without talking to each other.”

Ugh! Gojo’s voice was so irritating when he whined and acted childish. “You can talk,” Yuuji shoved the man off. “But talk doesn’t involve hanging all over us.”

Gasp! Gojo feigned surprise. “Yuuji are you jealous of me touching Megumi?”

“WHA— what?!” Yuuji caught himself quickly before Megumi would hear him. “I am not!” He spat back through gritted teeth. He crossed his arms. “I’m still annoyed you dragged us out here so early.”

“Oh…” Gojo chuckled. “Mmhmm, I guess that would account for your behavior today.”

For two hours the back and forth continued. Yuuji watched with a locked jaw in frustration when every chance Gojo had he took to touch Megumi. Playing with the man’s hair, hanging on his shoulder, talking so closely as if the man was deaf and it was necessary. And each time, Yuuji would cut between them. Oh, Megumi fought back too, snapping at Gojo, and pushing him away, but the man never took the hint. What was up with their teacher today! This was not the norm for Gojo. He never showed so much interest in either of the students before! So, why now? Why bring them here? ‘And what was with the obsession with Megumi!’ Yuuji snapped in his head.

It took almost three hours, but the trio finally reached the top of the stairs and breached the tree line. Okay, Yuuji had to admit the view was quite spectacular from this vantage point. On one side Mt. Fuji rose like a Goliath ready to smite any who dared to disturb it. On the other side, they could see the expansive blues of the Pacific Ocean stretching out to the horizon. And lastly, a handful of steaming hot ponds in various sizes. A couple of them were small, enough for maybe two people to be comfortable in, and one was large, almost the size of a residential swimming pool.

“Surprise!” Gojo’s arms raised above his head as he cheered. “A secret onsen! Isn’t it cool! Geto and I found it years ago by accident while tracking a curse.” He pulled the two students close, one under each arm. “It’s perfect for a little bonding time.”

Megumi shoved Gojo away. “I can’t believe you dragged us up a mountain ridge just for this.”

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Gojo flung himself onto the man in a tight hug from the back. “I wanted to share something special with you,” his voice whined.

“That it is!” Megumi completely snapped. He wiggled out of Gojo’s hold and swings a fist at the man. It misses, but that didn’t stop him from continuing his tirade. “You damn perverted teacher! Go flirt with someone who wants your attention, cause I don’t!” Without waiting for a response, Megumi grabbed his back and stomped away to one of the smaller hot ponds further away with Gojo only standing there watching him leave, with a big grin in his face.

That’s when Yuuji, who’d had enough as well, followed the energy left in Megumi’s wake to confront their teacher. He whipped Gojo around, grabbing the front of his shirt with his hand raised to strike. “Talk! What’s your deal? Why are you acting like this?!”

Gojo shrugged, his trademark cool grin never leaving his expression. “Someone had to push you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Yuuji screamed.

Gojo simply flicked the hand of Yuuji’s holding onto his shirt causing the man to let go and wince in pain. His simple strikes were always so much harder than they looked. He then smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt left by Yuuji. “Two weeks ago, do you remember the day you were supposed to be mopping the dojo?”

“Yeah.”

“Mopping the dojo,” Gojo reiterated, “as in cleaning and not dancing…”

“Yea— oh… maybe…”

“It was adorable, really, and that dip— I was impressed that you knew how to dance like that Yuuji. Your partner was a lucky… mop,” he snickered.

“Ha, ha, funny,” Yuuji pretended not to care. “So, what if I was dancing with a mop? As if I don’t do weird things sometimes.”

“Oh, that’s certainly true,” Gojo chuckled again, “but I heard you thanking your partner…” He wrapped his arms around his body in a reenactment, adding exaggerated kissing sounds for effect. “Thank you for a lovely dance, Megumi. smooch, smooch, smoo—”

Yuuji slammed a hand over Gojo’s mouth to stop him. “Shhhh!! I get it! Okay, you caught me!” His ears burned and heat dusted his cheeks in embarrassment. “So, you were actually trying to make me jealous.”

“Yup! As if it was hard to do.” Gojo jabbed a finger in Yuuji’s chest. “Now, run along young one and go bondwith your love interest.”

“Ugh,” Yuuji groaned. Did Gojo have to be this transparent?! “You’re not cute.”

“Yes, I am.” Gojo turned away to leave. “Oh, and by the way, Nitta will pick you up at the bottom road at 6pm, so don’t be late. That gives you…” he checked his phone, “at least 4 hours of cuddling time.”

“Bastard!”

Gojo winked in a side-eye with a two-fingered wave. “See you back at campus!”

‘Wanna kill him?’ Sukuna laughed in Yuuji’s head. ‘Push him off the cliff?’

“No…” Yuuji sighed, and shoulders slumped.

‘You’re so not fun.’

“Hush!” Yuuji snapped at Sukuna. “Go back to sleep or something!”

‘Pfft, suit yourself loser!’

And just like that, Yuuji was alone again. Hopefully. After dealing with Gojo, the last thing he needed was an annoying Sukuna in his ear constantly teasing him too. He had a much bigger issue to deal with now. Megumi. What to do about Megumi?!

He followed the same trail around a sheer cliff face and found the man already submerged in a hot pond at its base. It was a cute little tucked away spot, and under other circumstances the perfect place to relax away from society. But not today, and for probably the first time in Yuuji’s life he was embarrassed to undress in front of another person. He’d never been the shy type about his body, at least when it came to other men, but this wasn’t just any man he was facing. Yuuji took a deep breath with an even longer exhale in preparation.

“Hey!” Yuuji waved as nonchalantly as he could under the weight of emotions circling his brain. “Mind if I join you?”

“I don’t care.” Megumi responded. He looked around. “But where’d Gojo go?”

“Oh, um… he left.”

Megumi sat up in the water. “Seriously?! He dragged us up here only to ditch us?!”

“Yeah…” Yuuji scratched his head nervously. “Said something about giving us time alone to bond. Nitta’s gonna pick us up at the bottom road at 6pm.”

Megumi groaned and slumped back into the water. “Guess, nothing else to do but forget about him then.” He closed his eyes and leaned back. “Actually, the peace and quiet is a good thing.”

Yuuji chuckled nervously. “Oh, yeah, that’s true.”

He removed his clothes and slipped into the water adjacent to Megumi. The water was the perfect temperature, not overly hot but bearable on this light snowy day. It was deep enough to where the water almost covered their shoulders too and wide enough with legs stretched out not to hit the other’s feet. Yuuji does his best to relax, closing his eyes and letting the steamy waters melt away the torment brewing in his heart. Gojo had put them in this situation for a reason. He knew the answer, but did Megumi suspect anything? Kami he hoped not! It was his fault for getting caught in the first place. Gojo wasn’t even supposed to be on campus that afternoon, off on a mission a few towns away outside of Tokyo. In fact, none of the other students had been on campus except him. So, he’d thought, why not have a little fun? ‘I got carried away,’ Yuuji groaned in his head.

Several minutes pass by in relative peace and quiet. The only sounds were of the water anytime one of them shifted, occasional birds risking the winter air, or just the natural sounds of the forest. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Their profession could be daunting at times and breaks like this one a luxury. Yuuji couldn’t remember the last time he’d been to an onsen. Was it before he’d even become a jujutsu sorcerer? But now that he thought about it, this spot was also romantic in its own way. The natural beauty bathed in the shadow of Mt. Fuji. The random, wispy little snowflakes that fell around them, to the instrumental music of the forest lulling them into a comfortable mood. Even the heat played its role, soothing their muscles and warming their bodies. A great way to hide the emotional heat stirred up on his skin for sure! If Yuuji stopped controlling his mind, his cheeks would certainly be marred by a cherry finish.

“By the way, thanks back there,” Megumi broke the silence. “You know, with Gojo.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. He was being overly annoying today.”

“Yeah, I don’t understand what his problem was. He’s usually not this bad.”

Yuuji chuckled nervously. “Yeah, that guy is something else.”

Catching the anxiety-laden tone in Yuuji’s voice. Megumi opened his eyes and stared at the man. “Do you know why he was acting like that?”

“What?! Me, ehrm, no!”

“Now I know you lying, cause you suck at it. Yuuji, why was Gojo being an idiot?”

“He, um… It’s because he, you know, notices things.”

“Uh-huh? Like what?”

“Things.”

“What things?!”

“You know, like about people. He’s perceptive.”

“While I don’t disagree, I’m sensing a specific thing is the reason. So just tell me what it is.”

“I told you. He said we needed to bond more.”

“Bond? As in what? We already work together just fine, what more bonding do we need to do?”

“Um… I don’t know… he’s got weird ideas sometimes; you know that Megumi.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, then fine.” Megumi closed his eyes again in a huff.

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Yuuji cringed all the way down until his nose barely treaded water. He could tell plain as day Megumi was irritated with him by the inflection of the man’s voice. This wasn’t good! Ugh! It was going so smoothly too! Tell him? Don’t tell him. Tell him? Don’t tell him… the choice flipped back and forth in Yuuji’s head.

‘For fucks sake just tell him you damn virgin!’

“Shut up!”

“What?!”

Oh, fuck! “N-not you!” Yuuji waved his hands to clear the air. “Sukuna. H-He won’t shut up in my head.” He watched Megumi’s eyebrow raise slightly before he closed his eyes again, seemingly satisfied by the answer. Yuuji breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Let me run my own life!’ He screamed at Sukuna.

‘Fine. Virgin boy, I’m just trying to help so you’d shut up about it.’

And again, silence once more in Yuuji’s mind. Oh, how he wished he could reach into his own head and strangle the cursed user! ‘I’m gonna enjoy killing you,’ Yuuji spat back a final retort.

But both Gojo and Sukuna were right. Yuuji had a choice to make. Tell Megumi how he felt or forever bury his peace and learn to live with the pining… which would include not getting jealous— ‘that’s not happening…’ Yuuji sighed internally. Lately it’s been getting harder and harder to curb those tendencies. With Gojo, well, it’s Gojo, so he’d reacted on instinct. But others, the public, victims, fellow students… Yuuji might develop TMJ if kept his jaw locked any more times just to stop from reacting. He didn’t want anyone too close, especially men. Things were getting out of hand. ‘This isn’t me! I’m the nice guy!’ And yet here he was acting like a fool.

“Yuuji, why do you look so tense now?”

Eek!! Yuuji sat up quickly. “No, why do you ask?”

Megumi narrowed his eyes. “Because you looked constipated. Talk.”

“I—” Yuuji started ready to make another excuse, but his mouth slammed shut when Megumi’s brow raised with his ‘no bullshit’ look. “Okay,” he sighed. “I’ll tell the truth.” Yuuji shrunk down as his voice lowered and eyes turned away. “I… like someone… like, a lot and well, you know how Gojo kept bugging you, he um, was actually trying to rile me up about the… person… but yeah, so that’s why I was acting weird.”

“I already know you like me idiot.”

“Wait! You do?!”

“You’re not hard to figure out. That’s why I never said anything when you kept running interference with Gojo.”

“I can’t believe you knew all this time… now I’m so lost.”

“Also not surprising, good thing I don’t mind.”

“Don’t mind?”

Megumi rolled his eyes. “Will you just ask me out and get it over with. I’m trying to relax.”

Yuuji moved over tentatively until he was sitting next to his friend. “Megumi, will you be my boyfriend?”

Megumi chuckled under his breath and simply closed the small gap between them, leaning his head against Yuuji’s shoulder with a contented sigh.

Oh, this was perfect! Yuuji sighed too and leaned his head against Megumi’s. His heart still raced, but for a new reason. It was an exciting rush to have his best friend at his side, in a new relationship built on trust and bonded by experiences. Yuuji felt invincible at that moment.

‘You’re still a virgin idiot.’ Sukuna laughed.

‘Tch. Not even you can ruin this for me,’ Yuuji spat back and closed his eyes with the biggest smile of his life.

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII /  Part VIII  / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

What the fuck was he thinking?

That was the first thought in Peter’s mind when he opened his eyes the next morning and remembered what he had done the night before. Agreeing to meet with a subscriber, really, how dumb was that? It was one of those things he did before bed when his brain was too slow to make good decisions and then the next morning there were consequences. Consequences. Peter couldn’t deal with fucking consequences, he was still struggling with the fallout of his other terrible life choices.

I should cancel, he thought, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to wake himself up.

He should definitely cancel. Right. It was only reasonable. He could tell Tony he slept on it and realized it wasn’t such a good idea, after all. Or he could just say he was sick – for the foreseeable future. Or something. He would figure it out as he typed.

He sighed heavily and reached for his phone on the nightstand, pulling up his chat with Tony. He was going to call the whole thing off – he was! – but he made one crucial mistake. Before he started typing an excuse, he re-read the conversation from the night before. He didn’t understand why or how, but Tony’s words just – inebriated him, and by re-reading them, he was put under his spell all over again.

I need to see you, he said.

Not want. Not would like. Need. The word choice wasn’t lost on Peter, but he wondered if he was reading too much into it, if maybe Tony just said the first thing that came to mind without giving it much thought. But it couldn’t be casual, could it? Nobody would say they needed something casually.

Right? 

He pictured the older man holding him close, whispering in his ear, “I need to see you”, until, somehow, in his imagination, words got lost somewhere and it became, “I need you”. Peter shivered just thinking about it. He was sure his voice would exude power and confidence, he just knew it, he  wouldn’t be able to resist Tony’s commands, and yet–

Please.

He asked nicely. Peter was hyper-aware of the fact that the word “please” had an unreasonable and slightly concerning effect on him, he should probably talk to someone about that, but it just did. It fucking did. Tony could have demanded whatever he wanted – and embarrassingly, Peter would have probably said yes. He could have been an asshole about it, pushy, like some other people were, but no. He was…

I’ll treat you right.

Peter never stood a chance, he realized, sighing, letting his phone fall off his hand and onto the bed. That man knew exactly what he was doing, didn’t he? Peter wondered if he was that transparent, if anyone who talked to him for more than five minutes could see how needy he was, how badly he craved affection. If so, how embarrassing was that? A touch-starved porn star with feelings?

Ex-porn star, his brain supplied, and Peter rolled his eyes at himself. But still, technically, he was not a porn star anymore, he was more like… A model. A social media influencer? An adult entertainer. He could settle for that.

He picked his phone back up and looked at the chat, re-reading their conversation from the night before, over and over again. At least it didn’t seem like he thought Peter was a hooker – well, he hadn’t offered money, so Peter assumed he meant it as a casual meeting, not a business transaction. Nothing else has to happen, he promised. Nobody would ask a hooker out not expecting anything else to happen.

Right?

While he freaked out wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into, his phone beeped and vibrated in his hand, as he got a notification saying he had a text from an unknown number. He frowned, because not a lot of people had his number, but when he opened the text message, his heart dropped to his stomach.

“Hey, babe, it’s Quent. I saw you unblocked me on Instagram. Can we talk?”

He felt immediately dizzy, his vision blurred and his hands shook. His only reaction was to throw the phone as far away from him as he could, as if it was on fire. His throat closed up and breathing became harder, he thought he might suffocate, as he sat up on the bed and tried to take deep breaths. Deep breaths. Tried not to get lost in his –

“I can’t do this anymore, Pete,” was the first thing he said the minute the younger man walked out of the en suite bathroom, drying his hair with a towel.

“Do what?” He asked, confused, tilting his head to the side. He watched as Beck slowly got out of bed and walked to him. Peter noticed he wasn’t naked anymore, he had put on some pants and a t-shirt. He blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the situation.

“This. Us.” He gestured between them and Peter stared at him for a few seconds, as the words flew around in his head, refusing to provide any meaning. After a couple of minutes, he laughed weakly, even though his eyes burned and his chest felt crushed. Beck’s expression remained impassive.

“You’re joking, right?” Even as he asked that, he knew in his heart that he wasn’t. His face fell when Beck simply shook his head. “Quent… What...” He didn’t even know what to say, what to ask. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, trying to stop his eyes from watering, Beck hated it when he cried for no reason. “Listen, let’s just – let’s just talk about this, I’m sure–“

“There’s nothing to talk about, Peter, I’ve made up my mind. I’m sorry.” He took the two steps that separated them and ran a hand down the younger man’s wet cheek and Peter grasped it desperately, as if it could make him stay. “You’re immature, needy and quite frankly… a little boring for someone who gets fucked for a living.”

“I can do better, Quent, I can change, please don’t – don’t leave me,” he begged quietly, voice cracking, barely audible over the sound of his own sobs. Beck winced, pulling his hand away.“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, please… Please, don’t leave me...” He shut his eyes tightly, trying to wake up from that nightmare. Just a few minutes earlier, everything was fine, they filmed a scene, Beck told him to get in the shower and the minute he walked back into the bedroom everything went to shit, how the fuck did that happen?  

“This is exactly what I’m talking about, Peter. Look at you, listen to yourself right now. It’s… Pathetic.” He looked at him like he was the saddest sight he had ever seen, a mixture of pity and disgust, annoyance and impatience. Peter remembered a time when he looked at him like he was  precious, like he was the most important person in the world… What went wrong? Where did he fuck up? How could he fix it?

“Quent, I-I – you’re all I–“

“That’s the problem, Pete,” he scoffed, shaking his head with an incredulous smile on his face. “I’m tired of being your everything, it’s exhausting. You’re exhausting.” He leaned against the wall next to the bedroom’s door, as Peter freaked out just a few feet away, thinking he was having an actual heart attack from how bad hearing that fucking hurt. “I don’t love you anymore.”

He was pulled from his memories when the doorbell rang and his heart jumped. Could it be him at the door? He couldn’t have found him, he had no idea where Ned and MJ lived – hell, he had no idea where Peter went, he didn’t even bother to ask. For all he knew, Peter could be living on the streets. He knew he had no money, no family, and he didn’t fucking care, he just fucking kicked him out, he barely gave him time to pack all of his things, his eyes were cold, arms crossed over his chest as he waited impatiently for Peter to leave. And he begged and kept begging, and–  

Fuck, he was losing it. He was going back to that dark place he had barely crawled out from just weeks earlier.

He took a deep, calming breath and shook his head, trying to get his emotions under control. It was not Beck at the door. He had no way of finding him, and Peter knew he wouldn’t even try to. The only reason he had to contact him was probably a job. He knew a lot of people in the porn industry would still try to book him through Beck, since he was his agent for so long. That was obviously the reason he was trying to reach out. Money. As always. That was all.

So he took another deep breath and walked slowly to the front door. When he checked the peephole,  Ned and MJ were casually standing outside, talking to each other like nothing was wrong in the world. He didn’t think twice and yanked the door open.

“Get dressed, loser, we’re going– what the fuck!?” MJ’s eyes almost jumped out of their sockets once she took a look at him. He knew he must look like garbage, he had no idea how he was even standing on his own two feet, he felt like his whole body was falling to pieces. He threw his arms around Ned, who was closest to him, and the older boy just pulled him close and let him bury his face in his neck, not missing a beat.

“Shh, it’s ok, buddy. Everything’s fine now.” He rubbed his back gently and Peter cried a little harder, a mixture of relief, sadness and regret filling his chest, leaving him confused and exhausted all at once. “Come on, let’s sit down for a minute. MJ, bring him some water, will you?” He pushed him lightly inside the apartment and directed him to the only piece of furniture in the living room, crouching down in front of him as MJ rummaged his tiny kitchen. “You ok, man?”

“I’m ok, I’m ok. It’s just… one of those days.” He forced a smile, trying to dry his face with the collar of his shirt. He didn’t want to tell them that Beck had tried to reach out, it would only cause them to worry unnecessarily. They were the ones who had convinced him to block his number, even if Peter insisted Beck would never call.

MJ hurried back from the kitchen and thrust a glass of water in his face, seeming a little nervous and completely out of her element. He realized that it was probably the first time they ever saw him in such bad shape, he didn’t have the energy to try to put up a strong front for them, which he always did, ever since he was a ten-year old boy. They had seen him cry before, of course, just probably not like that. Peter felt like shit and he knew he looked like it, too.

He drank the water that was offered to him just to have an excuse not to talk for a few seconds, as he tried to cool down and get himself back under control. MJ was fidgeting, standing beside Ned who was sitting on the floor, rubbing Peter’s knees comfortingly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Ned asked, squeezing his leg, and he shook his head firmly.  

“No, thanks. I’m fine, really. Did you have plans for today?” He looked at his friends and noticed they both had their jackets on and looked ready to go out. It was, after all, a sunny Saturday morning. “I’ll go get dressed right now.” He tried to get up from the armchair but MJ placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, we can stay in, if you want.” She assured him, still looking a little freaked out, which was funny to watch. She was never very good at comforting people.

“No, that’s stupid, come on,” He got up, forcing Ned to do the same, and headed to the bedroom, but the older boy grabbed his arm before he could go too far.

“Don’t worry, c’mon, let’s go down to our apartment, at least we have a couch.”

Peter wanted to insist that he was okay to go out, but if he was honest with himself, he was... not okay. To do anything. And he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts.

So he just nodded at his friends and followed them downstairs. Back at their place, he plopped down on the couch with MJ next to him, as Ned headed for the kitchen. He came back with ice cream and three spoons and Peter smiled weakly, appreciating the gesture.

“So… Bad day?” Ned asked sympathetically as Peter pretended to focus on the frozen desert.

“Bad day,” he answered, simply, with a small smile on his face, and his friend nodded in understanding.

“Did something happen or…?” He insisted and Peter stuffed his mouth with enough ice-cream to give himself a brain freeze, just so he could avoid talking for a while. He shrugged.

“No, just… Memories.”

“Of course,” MJ scoffed, as she stabbed the ice-cream with her spoon. “That asshole. I can’t believe he gets to be your first love. That fucking sucks.” Peter was sure MJ didn’t mean to make him feel bad – or rather, worse – but he hadn’t even thought about that yet. The fact that Beck was his first love. His first everything, really. Nothing could ever change that fact. He swallowed the lump in his throat with a spoonful of chocolate chip ice-cream. “Don’t worry, one day you’ll find a decent man who will show you what a healthy relationship looks like, you know. That perv deprived you of even that.” MJ shook her head and Peter sighed, wincing.  

“I don’t think I can find a decent man, MJ,” he mumbled, looking down at the ice-cream pint. “I’m a certified whore now. Imagine Prince Charming googling my name and finding my gang bang video, or the fisting one.” He scoffed, shaking his head. He didn’t dare to look up at his friends, he played with the melting ice-cream and shrugged. “I’m sorry for the mental image.” His face was burning red, he hated to talk about his videos with them, but they needed a reality check. He was pretty sure they never watched the videos, so they had no idea how bad the situation was.

“Good thing you’re not looking for Prince Charming, then, Cinderella.” She rolled her eyes. “You need a man who understands that sex is just sex, it doesn’t matter how many people you slept with, or if it was filmed or not. Besides, it was just a fucking job, like any other, people use their bodies to work. Writers use their hands, waiters use their legs, you used your ass, so-fucking-what?” MJ argued and she genuinely seemed to believe her own words, which made Peter laugh a little and feel relieved that his friend didn’t think badly of him. That made one of them.

The thing was, it was a beautiful speech, big words, great ideas, but none of it meant anything because it wasn’t real. He believed MJ thought like that, but most people didn’t. Most people would look at him differently knowing he used to do porn and knowing that he still did solo stuff on Just4Fans. They would think it was fine to fantasize about him, it was fine to jerk off to him, maybe it would even be fine to have sex with him casually, but have a serious relationship with him? Probably not.

He must have been distracted for a while and jumped up a little when he felt Ned’s hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, dude. Not everyone is that narrow-minded, you know. At the end of the day, it’s just porn. A lot of people do it, even more people watch it, it’s not that big of a deal.” Ned shrugged and Peter looked at him a little surprised. He didn’t look freaked out at all by what he said earlier, which – he didn’t think he would be rude or anything, he just didn’t expect him to be so cool about it.

He smiled at him and nodded.

Peter spent the rest of the day at their place and gradually started feeling a little more like himself, a little calmer. His head hurt from such a rough morning, but having his friends by his side helped a lot. They had pizza for lunch and binge watched a sitcom for seven hours straight, which helped keep all the intrusive thoughts at bay. Well, mostly.

When he got home that night, he picked up his phone that was still lying on the floor. The screen was cracked, but at least it was still working. He quickly blocked Beck’s Instagram and his new number before he could think twice about it, and only then did he notice there was a message from Tony waiting for him, from a few hours earlier.

“Hey, gorgeous. How’s your day? I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Can’t wait to see you.”

For some weird reason, reading that message soothed him. It should have freaked him out, sent him over the edge again, but it didn’t. He had forgotten all about the fact that he agreed to meet Tony, but he was glad he did. He felt exhausted from all the emotions he had to deal with all day long and he thought he didn’t want to do anything but sleep it off, but talking to Tony sounded like an even better idea somehow.

“Not so good, I’m a little tired, but I’ll survive. How was yours, daddy?”

He wasn’t surprised when he got an answer right away.

“I’m sorry to hear that, kitten. I’d give you a foot rub if I was there, would that help?” Peter couldn’t help but smile at that message, which was a little shocking to him, he thought he had lost the ability to do that hours ago.

“That would help a lot, daddy.” He sighed, rolling onto his side, burying himself under the covers. “I wish you were here.” He didn’t expect to mean it so much, not when he was talking to a virtual stranger, but Tony had such a weird effect on him when they talked. Peter felt like he knew him, like they were intimate, like he was safe. And none of that made any sense, but he couldn’t help it.

“I wish I were there, too. I’d take good care of you.” Fuck, and he kept saying those things. Those beautiful things that made his stomach turn and his head hurt and his heart go wild. He was so fucked. “Dinner’s still up? Does Thursday night work for you?”

“Thursday works fine. I’m just a little nervous.” He curled on his side, looking closely at the cracked screen. Immediately, Tony started typing an answer.

“Please don’t be, sweetheart, I promise you’ll have a good time. We’ll have a nice meal, some fine wine, a good talk. What’s not to like?” That was exactly what Peter thought the previous night, and it had made perfect sense in his head. When he woke up, though, it didn’t sound reasonable at all. And now there he was, hypnotized again by Tony’s charm.

“I don’t know.” He bit his lip, wondering if he should say what he wanted to say or if it would be weird.

“Then, please, don’t worry. You can leave at any second if you don’t feel comfortable.”

“Okay.” He replied, worrying his bottom lip, working up the nerve to say what was on his mind. “Look, you know I’m not, like… a prostitute, right? Nor an escort. I just post dirty pictures online, which might be misleading, but I’m not a sex worker. I hope you know that.” There, he said it. He held his breath as he waited for Tony’s answer, who kept typing for what felt like ages.

“To be completely honest, no, I was not sure, and I didn’t want to offend you by asking, but this changes nothing. I didn’t ask to meet you for that, I hope you know. I just really need to see you in person. I like talking to you here, but I’d love to hear your voice, see your smile, make you laugh. I promise I have no ulterior motives.”

“Oh, you’re good.” Peter joked lightly, because it seemed like Tony always knew what to say to wrap him around his little finger.

“I am, baby, I promise. You’ll see.”

He was pretty sure he had heard similar promises before, beautiful words without any meaning. Still, for some reason, it wasn’t hard to believe him.

-x-

Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list):  @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud

[lombredanslaeu]

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒑 𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒔 | jung jaehyun.

plot: the story of jung jaehyun and the implications of his relationship with the ceo’s daughter - all the saccharine, the bitter, and the sour. word count 7405

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: curse words 

playlist: the louvre lorde | hard feelings lorde | the girl city & colour | i dont wanna be okay without you charlie bug

this isn’t proofread, so i apologize for any mistakes. feedback is highly appreciated, it motivates me to write more. <3

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are: “It might have been.” - Kurt Vonnegut

I.

Contrary to the public belief, the daughter of one of the biggest entertainment companies in the country isn’t as snippy and snobby as the world pictures her to be. Growing up, you never failed to respect everyone, regardless of their social status. That’s why the world seemed to be in shock when a photo of you, Doyoung, and Johnny spread like wildfire all over social networking sites.

“Why are people so in shock about me being friends with you guys?” You inquired, shoving a spoon of cheesecake to your mouth.

“They’re probably wondering why the hell you’re friends with losers like us.” Johnny replied.

“Oh yeah, that’s probably it.” You agreed. Johnny faked a hurting face, causing everyone in the room to burst into small laughters and smiles.

A swing of the dorm’s door revealed three more of the boys. Mark Lee, Kim Jungwoo, and Jung Jaehyun. How do you begin with Jung Jaehyun?

Everyone fawned over the boy. Who wouldn’t? With a cherub face and charming smile, anyone would fall head over heels over Jaehyun. You blamed his looks, you blamed his voice, and you blamed Doyoung for pointing everything Jaehyun did excellently. You blamed everything else but yourself for having a stupid crush on the boy.

“Oh, I bought you guys cheesecake.” You smiled at the newcomers.

“You’re heaven-sent, Y/N!” Jungwoo exclaimed.

“Thanks, Y/N.” Jaehyun said, with that godly smile that he always wore. You smiled off the racing beats of your heart, concious that Doyoung or Johnny might notice your sudden tension.

Unbeknowsnt to you, one of them already knows. And he has a plan to accomplish.

The warm sun was normally a pleasant thing for you. However, your lack of sleep and rest the previous night was overtaking your personality today. The busy chatters of the students that walk through the premises of Seoul National University fileld your ears. It was a normal day - lectures, presentations, and countless pages to read. You’re already on your third year of college, you should have been used to this by now. Another misconception about you is that you don’t have a personal driver to drive you to and from places; heck, you don’t even own your own car yet. You don’t do it very often but you bratty side is cursing your parents for trying to make you live independently. You made a mental note to complain to them later that night.

A resounding beep from your phone made you halt your walk.

Jung Jaehyun (SM): Hey! Are you around SNU right now?

That’s weird. You thought. It was actually more new than weird. Sure, you and Jaehyun are friends but you don’t think you’ve already reached the level of texting each other all of a sudden.

You: Yeah! Do you need anything?

Jung Jaehyun: I’m actually quite lost.

Jung Jaehyun: Doyoung told me to buy something from this home depot around SNU.

Jung Jaehyun: Do you know where Rosé Palace is?

You chuckled at his sentiment. Your palms sweat by the fact that you just might see him today. You didn’t look your best at this very moment, you didn’t feel the need to fix yourself since your main plan for today was just go to school.

You: I know where that is. Where are you right now?

Jung Jaehyun: I’m here near the musuem.

After a few walks and turns, you found the poor man. He wore all black clothing, with a mask and a bucket hat probably to hide his identity.

“Hey, I’m sorry for being a bother.” He apologized.

“Oh, no! It’s okay! I was done with school anyway.” You quickly respond. “Rosé Palace is actually very near here.”

“Oh, is it?” Jaehyun spoke. “I’m sorry, I really should have just tried finding it instead of bothering you.”

“Stop, it’s really not a problem.” You assured him.

You expected the walk to the location to be awkward. After all, you and Jaehyun doesn’t talk much. He would only ever talk to you whenever someone is also in the conversation.

“Do you live around SNU?” Jaehyun asked.

“Nope,” You answered. “I live at my parent’s home. I don’t dorm here.”

“Really? Do you commute?”

“I actually do.”

“You’re not scared?”

“Not a lot of people know who I am, Jaehyun. They just see me as another tired, college girl.”

“Must be nice not having people know who you are.” His tone seemed down and almost envious.

“Hey, you should be happy people know your name.” You said. “I could probably die right now and no one would bat an eye until they find out I’m a daughter of a CEO.”

“That’s not true!” He spoke. “I’d bat an eye!”

You laughed at him. “Of course, you would.”

Jaehyun emitted a soft chuckle. You were definitely not someone he would casually walk around with. He didn’t think he was worthy of your time, anyway. But then again, you’re friends with every single of the members so you’re probably very nice. And right now, he proved that hypothesis correct. He silently thanked Doyoung for asking him to buy those set of plates for his mother’s birthday.

The next time you and Jaehyun hung out was during one of the company gatherings. According to Taeyong, “you spent so much time with Jaehyun that Doyoung and Johnny got jealous.” You never realized that yourself. One topic in a conversation led to another and before you know it, the gathering is about to end and you still haven’t spared any of the members a glance.

“Is your dad okay with you being so close with Jaehyun?” Doyoung asked.

“Why would he not be okay with that?” You answered his question with another question. “He seems to be okay with me being close friends with all of you.”

“Hmm, yeah,” Johnny trailed. “Sure, that’s the situation here.”

You only looked at him with confusion drawn all over your face.

“Do I sense some sarcasm on your tone?”

“What? Sarcasm? Fuck no!”

 II.

It was during their live online concert that Jaehyun realized. In front of them are hundred of pixelated screens, some more distorted than the others. And yet, he still saw you, he still recognized you with a blink of an eye. You’re in a small screen almost at the edge. The other members didn’t notice you, they probably didn’t even know you were attending. He saw you, amongst the landscape of faces, he saw you. That’s when he realized. Jaehyun swallowed a small smile, fearing that Yuta, who’s arm is draped over Jaehyun’s shoulder, would sense something.

This isn’t the first time he realized that he was in love you. It was probably when he kissed you for the first time and the next time, and the next time.

“You love kissing me, don’t you?” You whispered against his lips.

The two of you did not even make it to bed when you decided to lock your lips together for the nth time that night.

“I do.” He replied. “How about you?”

“I love everything that you do to me.”

The night grew feverish. The two of you still hasn’t talked about the current status of whatever relationship you both have. You act like lovers but never brought it upon yourselves to admit that you’re smitten. Maybe Jaehyun felt embarrassed that he was the first to fall in love you. He probably will never admit that soon. The fear of nothing having his feelings reciprocated was bubbling inside him. However, the answers are right in front of his eyes. You have an exam tomorrow but instead of buring your eyebrows to study, you’re here between his arms, making out with him.

He didn’t know if it was love. He doesn’t like anything else about you except for your smile, your eyes, your angelic laughter, and the way he feels whenever you’re around. He feels at peace, he feels as if his feet are in the clouds. They could disperse any moment, causing him plummet to the ground. But he has no intention of going elsewhere. If falling to rock bottom would be caused by you, he would be more than willing to experience that.

Oh yeah, I’m in love. The only thought that lingered on his mind until he saw you in person again.

“Nice job tonight, Jae.” Your honey voice immersed from the speakers of Jaehyun’s phone.

“You actually watched.”

“Of course, I would. How could I miss that?” You chuckled, awakening the annoying butterflies inside Jaehyun’s veins.

A muffled clinking of glass could be heard through Jaehyun’s end. “Are you guys drinking?”

“Perhaps?” Jaehyun smiled through his response. Johnny and Taeyong’s loud bickering confirmed your suspicion.

“Celebrating the concert?”

“We’re not drinking.”

“Okay, I believe you.” It was your turn to smile at his silliness.

There was a brief moment of silence between you two. You could hear the faint breathing of Jaehyun and for a minute, you might have believed he fell asleep on you. A soft giggle proved you wrong. Just the mere fact of having you on the other side of the line was enough to make Jaehyun turn soft.

There was a loud argument inside his head. His job is unforgiving especially in terms of forming a romantic relationship with someone. If making friendships with others idols would be a walk on broken glass, what more could a romantic relationship be? The fact that you’re also the daughter of his boss didn’t help with his dilemma at all. It could either break his career or your relationship with your father. Jaehyun isn’t afraid of taking risk, yet somehow, he was scared of making another step towards you. When he realized that he was helplessly in love with you, he became scared of ever seeing you again. But despite it all, he still managed to say the worst thing he could have told you that night: “I’m in love with you.”

 III.

You had every chance to realize. Each time he would stretch his schedule to make a spot for you, even every time he would spam your messages just to ask if you’ve made it home safely. You were not new to dating bans being imposed of idols. Although your father never directly imposed such thing to his recent employees, you knew full well not to meddle with the busy and demanding life of an idol. So, Jaehyun was a problem.

Another one of your problems was when Jaehyun kissed you for the first time the other night. You didn’t know what lead him to do such thing and to be frank, Jaehyun didn’t know what came to him either.

Normally, the secluded and narrow walkway you and Jaehyun are currently walking on would send chills through your spine. The comforting feeling of having someone beside you, and thankfully it’s Jung Jaehyun, made you feel safe despite the thrilling nature of the walkway. The tiring activities of moving in your stuff to your new apartment lingered through your bones.

“Do you always come walk here after school?” He asked, his breath forming smoke in the cold air.

“I do,” You answered. Jaehyun spun his head towards with a face full of worry. “I never leave school very late anyway. In daylight, this place is filled with people so it’s not that scary.”

Your information made Jaehyun release a sigh of relief. Good to know that he won’t need to worry as much about you walking this scary place at this time of the night.

“Thanks for helping me move my stuff to my apartment.” You spoke.

“It’s my pleasure to help you in all kinds of things.”

Heat formed in your cheeks. If you’re not wearing a thick scarf around your neck, you’re sure Jaehyun would notice the small smile you have.

“Hey,” His gloved hand touched your forearm briefly to call your attention. “It still wonders me how we never hung out before.”

“We just never had the chance I guess?” You shrugged.

Before you was a beautiful piece of art. You wondered how someone so charming and handsome could even exist. Not a single flaw was present in Jaehyun’s appearance, meanwhile you could list ten things you wish you could change about the way you look in an instant. You didn’t feel worthy of his attention. You spent a good 30 seconds just staring at him and he did the same.

“Can I do something?” Jaehyun asked, swallowing a lump in his throat.

“Sure.”

Jaehyun leaned down to meet your face. Placing a hand behind your neck, his lips joined yours. Oh my god, Jung Jaehyun is kissing me!

It took a second or two for you to reciprocate the kiss. His lips felt cold but what made you shiver was the booming feeling in your chest. The kiss wasn’t lustful, it was a steady and endearing kiss. He pulled away after a moment. In his face was the cute smile and a set of dimples.

“I want to hang out with you for the rest of my life.” He said.

“I want to hang out with you too, for as long as you want me to be.”

It also didn’t help that you’ve only came to terms with your feelings just recently. Behind your laptop was a pile of readings waiting to be read. University was your top priority yet, here you are. Looking immensely through your laptop screen with the whole universe in your eyes. That was when you realized. You were willing to put Jaehyun above anything else in your life.

You and Jaehyun was undeniably spending a lot of time with each other. It surprised you that no fans or news outlet has caught you and Jaehyun strolling around the city. You enjoyed being outside, you loved the city and everything that came with it. Jaehyun knew full well not to spend so much time outside with his manager. But, he could never say no to your requests. He don’t why either. Whenever he risked getting caught just to spend time with you, the universe has given multiple chances to realize how you felt about him. Unfortunately, oblivion has spread all over your system like a poison. It was only until tonight that you finally got the taste of the antidote.

You knew the consequences, you knew the implications. He was drunk and you knew full well that there’s a chance he might not meant what he said.

“I’m in love with you as well, Jae.”

 IV.

The gloomy atmosphere of the skies mimicked how you felt that day. Your eyes lingered on your phone screen, it has been that way for about 30 minutes now.

Dad: No one can know about you and Jaehyun. Not even the members.

You were doubting the relationship yourself. Was this a good decision? Jaehyun never made your relationship feel like a mistake. Yet, here you are, thinking that what if being with Jaehyun was nothing but a mistake. You never meant for your parents to find out. However, it would dumb of you to think that you could keep this from them forever, or at least until Jaehyun retires.

“I expected you to know how complicated dating is in the industry.” Your father’s voice wasn’t loud but it was chilling and stern.

“Of course, I know that-” You started.

“Then, why did I wake up this morning bombarded with the news that you and Jaehyun are dating?”

You couldn’t answer him. You knew from the start the complications of your relationship with Jaehyun. There was fear and anxiety bubbling in your heart; and beneath it all, there was a small tinge of regret. That growing seed of regret was something you decided to shrug off. You would never admit to anyone that you felt that way.

“Jaehyun is one of my most popular idol.” Your father spoke again. “If the fans repulse him, my stocks could be damaged.”

You kept your head low. “I understand.”

“I’m not asking you to break up with him.” He announced, causing to look up at him. “But if I receive a news article about the two of you, you know what to expect.”

The leaves grew heavy as the raindrops drenched them. Suddenly, a warm pair of arms snuggled you close to their person.

“I don’t want to leave you while you’re this upset.” Jaehyun whispered.

“Don’t worry about me, babe.” You said. “I’ll be fine soon.”

You heard him drop a heavy sigh. Jaehyun was struggling as well. The last thing you want to do was to bring more stress on him.

“I want to go to Paris too.” You suddenly spoke.

“It baffles me how someone from a rich family as you has never been to Paris.” He said, rubbing comforting circles on your exposed arms.

“My family doesn’t like going out of the country.”

“I wish I could take you to Paris with me.”

“No.” You sat up a little. “This is your time to have fun with your fans and the guys. I know my parents has been really stressful for the both of us.”

“I don’t care about the world as long as you’re with me, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a moment. Before you know it, your lips were entangled with his. The sweet taste of Jaehyun and the bitter reality of your family made you press into him a little harder. Jaehyun wrapped his arms tightly around you as he savored every flavor of you that he could taste right now.

Under his heavy breathing, he spoke, “Promise me something?”

“What?”

“Be with me always, Y/N.” He said, with every bit of love and pleading that he could ever give. Tears were starting to burn in your eyes. You weren’t planning to spend this day with him crying.

“I promise, Jaehyun.” You responded, offering every ounce of sincerity you have in you. “Can you promise me that as well?”

“I could only show you once we get there, Y/N.” He replied. “Even if we won’t be together tomorrow, go to Paris ten years from now and see for yourself if I uphold my side of the promise.”

 V.

Many people have told you that love isn’t always pink skies and candy hearts. But, it sure as hell not sitting behind a computer screen, watching your boyfriend flirt with other idols. You sighed and close your eyes.

It’s okay, Y/N. He’s just putting up the facade that he’s single and ready to mingle. You’ve been dating him for almost two years now, get used to it.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe he’s just dating you to secure a place in the group?” Areum said. Areum is one of your closest college friends, the only person you shared your secret with. She was trustworthy, you’re willing to testify with that. However, came with her loyal and reliable aspect was the fact that she’s so fucking straightforward. She just have the ability to sense bullshit from anyone and she’s not afraid on waking people up.

You scoff. Half you wants her to be wrong and the other believed her.

“No, he’s not.” You said. “Why would you even think that?”

“I just got the vibe.” She shrugged her shoulders. “You don’t have to fully believe what I say, Y/N.”

“Damn, if you don’t like him for me, you could have just told me directly.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him for you, Y/N.” Areum’s tone was more serious now. “I care for you. I know that people can manipulate you in every way that they can to get on your good side.”

“Stop accusing Jaehyun of such things.”

It was safe to say that you’ve gone cold to Areum after that conversation. You hated that she might be right but you’re too full of pride to even admit that. But you know Jaehyun better than Areum knows him.

You tried. You tried to forget what Areum said. But the thought still lingers inside your head and now everything that Jaehyun did made you wonder if he’s doing it to stay secured in the company. You don’t have the power that your father has but he’s dating his boss’ daughter and you have a great influence on your dad’s decisions.

“You should have called me to let me know you were working late.” You said, frustration clear in your voice. It’s already an hour before midnight and you have not heard from Jaehyun until the moment he knocked on your apartment door. Ever since you moved in two years ago, Jaehyun has been spending a lot of nights there; he unofficialy lives there. His managers would have been pissed off by now but then, again, you are their boss’ daughter.

“The comeback is almost near.” He said, replicating your frustration. “You should have known that work will be tight now.”

“You could have sent me a simple text so I don’t have to worry where you are.”

“You don’t have to worry where I am, Y/N.” His tone was grim. “Do you really expect me to send you a text while I’m busy? I could have finish so much during the time I’m texting you.”

You took a sharp and deep breath. The anger and hurt were like tornados revolving deep inside you. It was normal for couples to fight but the frustration seems to build up one fight after another. Some days, you just wanted to fight with him. You don’t know what’s the reason or excuse for your sudden urge to form an argument with Jaehyun.

“I asked you to start the kettle for me.” He said. Now, his eyebrows were furrowed in clear frustration and his lips rid of their usual sweetness. His hand holding up the cold kettle.

“I’m sorry, I must have forgotten.” You said, your voice was low but it didn’t sound weak.

“I asked you to do one little thing for me, Y/N.” The loud bang of the kettle hitting the stove made you jump. Your heart raced at the sudden noise but it didn’t diminish your anger.

“And I asked you to do one little thing for me as well.” You fight back.

“Asking me to update you all the time is not a little thing.”

“All I’m asking is for you to take maybe a minute to text me where you are!” You roared. “I’ve been worried sick about where you are!”

“You know I’m just in the building, right?” He retorted. “Why? Do you expect me to be elsewhere?”

“Are you implying that I think you’re cheating?” You said, with a small laugh.

“Why else would you be so worried about where I am when you fully know I’m working?” He kept answering you with a question and it was getting tiring.

“I never said anything about you being unfaithful.” You stated. “Why are you getting so defensive all of a sudden? Is there a reason for me to be thinking that?”

“You’re unbelievable, Y/N. Out of all the things I’ve risked for you.” Jaehyun shook his head. “You’re unbelievable and ungrateful.”

The words stung. It was like Cupid shot a salty arrow towards the wound in your chest. He think you’re ungrateful. For a moment, you blamed yourself. Maybe, I am ungrateful and unreasonable. And before you could think about what to say, you said the words you were going to regret for the rest of your life.

“You know, I think you’re only dating me to keep a place in the company.”

You had to reason to say that. It was a sudden burst of the moment and you immediately regret it. Jaehyun gave you no reason to even think that. Your insecurity and fear got in you and you were on the brink of ruining everything. How did it come to this? You were about to retract your statement when Jaehyun turned his back against you for the first time in his life.

 VI.

A penthouse was definitely too much for you. You never called it a penthouse though, you’ve always called it your apartment. It was great, finally moving out of your parents’ house even if it’s literally just ten minutes away. Everywhere you look, it reminds you of Jaehyun. He helped you move in everything and helped you settle in. The first few nights when you couldn’t sleep because everything was new and overwhelming, he was there to sing you your favorite The Smiths song. He didn’t know the lyrics at first so he just hummed the tune. He was sure he was doing it out of tune but he tried for you. The penthouse was big yet it was suffocating; but Jaehyun was there. It felt safe, it felt like home. You could sleep on the streets and you would still feel at peace as long as he’s there beside you.

Jaehyun couldn’t sleep either. You hurt him but he wasn’t going to deny that he hurt you too. And that’s the last thing he wants to do to you. Why did he turn his back when he knows that you’re just tired and worried? But why did you doubt him when you know he’s only doing his job as an idol? Jaehyun’s eyes immediately landed on the peach plush toy that you gave him for no reason, and then to the Franklin Wilson vinyl record that you spent so much money on. Most of the gifts you gave him, you gave him for no reason - not on an anniversary or on his birthday. You would just randomly give him something sometimes. Above all, you gave him immense love. You could date anyone you want, someone who is of great power and wealth. Yet, you decided to love him. When he’s with you, he’s devoid of all the consequences of the world. He forgot what aching felt like to the point that he forgot that the word exists. 

But right now, it all aches.

“I said I’m sorry, Jaehyun.” Your voice was paired with the painful tears that streamed your voice.

“Come on, Y/N, stop crying.” He pleaded, his own tears falling from his eyes. You crying pained Jaehyun so much, the fact that he was the reason behind it didn’t help either. All he wanted to do right now was to hug you, console you that he’s sorry and he didn’t meant it when he said he wanted to break up.

“I want someone who would never doubt my intentions of loving them.” He said through his tears. “I thought you were that someone.”

“Is there anything I could do to change your mind?”

Jaehyun shook his head, each turn tearing your heart apart. You blamed no one but yourself. If only you didn’t say those words. You wanted to beg but your sobs were choking your words, as if it knows better than to say something in fear that you’ll fuck everything up again.

Jaehyun didn’t care about what vengeance you would do. He knows you so well and he knew you wouldn’t do that to him. But, in a way, he wanted you to do to that to him. He wanted you to tell your father to fire him, kick him out of the company. He wanted that so that he can know you can feel better after having your heart broken by him. He wanted that so that he can be assured that you can finally be at peace. Yet, he knew you very well. What bothered him the most was what you’ll do to yourself. Will you drown yourself in tears and neglect your health & well-being? Will you start flunking in university? It worried him and he hated the fact that he needed to end the greatest thing in his life to avoid hurting you in the future.

Areum was quick on her feet to rush to your apartment after hearing the news.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” She quickly said.

You only hugged her. Letting your tears and sobs fall all over again.

“I’m sorry I even said those things about him.” She said. A part of you wanted to blame her but you saw the bigger picture. You chose to let those words stick to you and ended up hurting Jaehyun. And Jaehyun has better things to do than to be kept down by a relationship. You knew he was begging to be freed without him realizing that.

 VII.

The first time you saw Jaehyun was five months after your break up. Their recent comeback was a success and due to that, the company held a mini party to celebrate the boys’ hardwork. You shouldn’t have come but the pleading eyes of Doyoung and Johnny gave you no choice. They promised to keep you away from Jaehyun throughout the whole night. You doubted the plan first hand since you know Johnny and Jaehyun are drinking buddies. When there is alchohol, you best believe the two would be inseperable through the night.

Due to Mark Lee’s request, a karaoke console was present in the party. Taeil and Haechan were quick to have a duet before anyone else. They wanted to “bless the night with their voice.” You chuckled at their crazy antics. You definitely missed everyone. Ever since the break up, you focused more on your studies and in a few weeks, you’re off to graduate. The boys never failed to communicate with you through messages and video calls, but you never saw them as often as you used to do.

“Okay, everyone!” Mark screamed through the mic of the karaoke machine. “It’s my time to shine!”

You settled in a spot beside Jungwoo who offered you another cup of beer. The soft, mellow tune of the song began along with the title on the screen: “Leaves” by Ben & Ben. You heard Mark play this song in one of the lives he bugged you to watch in support. You never heard the first song and you didn’t really hear the song clearly in his live. But judging by the instrumentals, you conluded that it might be sad.

“And in the end, can you tell me if it was worth the try so I can decide,” Mark sang. His voice was heavenly but his tipsy nature made it funny.

You knew you weren’t supposed to be in this party. You already regret so many things in your life and now you’re adding this party to that list.

“Oh, you never really love someone until, you learn to forgive.”

Has Jaehyun forgiven you? The question suddenly came up as Mark sang that line. You felt like you don’t have the right to say that you’ve forgiven him. What did he do to you that would require forgiveness? Nothing. He needed to break away and that’s not a sin to anyone. You wondered if he has forgiven you - for doubting him and for making him feel like his love wasn’t enough. You wanted to punch yourself as you swallow the beer in hopes that it will kill the heartache.

Has she forgiven me? That question floats in Jaehyun’s mind even before the party. A love like yours was not something that is easy to forget. Jaehyun doesn’t think he could ever forget you or what your love felt like. It made his heels touch the sky and his fingertips reach the stars. He doesn’t know if you have forgiven him, for breaking your heart and for not giving it another try. Perhaps, he will never know the answer until the day he die.

The song has reached it’s climax. A series of “All will be alright in time” sung by Mark filled the ears of the listeners as the crowd grew silent, savoring the song. A voice inside of you asked you look at Jaehyun for the first time tonight. It’s been five months and being without him is enough punishment for you. You were going to give yourself the pleasure of looking at his face once again. He was five people away but, thankfully, you can still see him clearly. His head swayed lightly to the song before turning his head towards yours - not because your gaze burns but because he wanted to see your face again.

“Oh, you never really love someone until, you learn to forgive.”

The ending instrumentals played right after. As if living through the song, you offered him a small smile. Without thinking twice, he did the same.

That’s the answer to both of your questions.

The balcony of their dorms gave you a full view of the sleeping city. The faint sound of “Psycho” by Red Velvet crept it’s way from the dorm to the balcony. The sound became clear for a moment, an indication that someone opened the balcony door and closed it.

Jaehyun stood beside you, savoring the cold, night wind. You were both quiet.

“Can I hold you?” He suddenly asked.

You turned to him with confusion. You didn’t know why he would ask you that all of a sudden.

“Please?” He begged. “Before we admit that it’s done?”

Before you know it, your arms are wrapped around his torso for the last time.

 VIII.

The busy streets of the city became a lullaby to you. After graduating from college, you interned in one of the top architectural firms in the country. You gained your architecture license after two years but you never left the firm. Unlike your father, you’re not really the leader or boss type. You enjoyed working for and with others. The company felt like a small family. It was very exclusive so they don’t really have a lot of core members; to be amongst them was a privilege in itself. The senior architect, Nayeon, was busy today so she sent you to present the design you both proposed for one of your clients. You never met the client personally or even knew their names as this was your first initial meeting.

The sweet smell of croissants filled your nostrils as you entered the meeting place. The client requested to hold the meeting in a luxurious cafe just a few minutes away from your office. This client must be really rich to waste time on a meeting in a cafe like this. The wide array of the pastries brought back your childhood memories as your mother would bring you home croissants from this place before.

Along with your childhood memories, a familiar yet dear face looked up from their seat. It was no one else but Jung Jaehyun, still beautiful even after all these years.

Oh, isn’t life just really tender on me?

“Hey,” You greeted.

“Hey,” he replied.

There was awkwardness, of course. But you needed to be professional, after all it’s been eight years.

“Im Nayeon couldn’t make it today so I’m here on her behalf.” You stated. “Hope that’s okay for you?”

“Of course,” Jaehyun replied. Standing up to offer you a seat. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

You cleared your throat. You wanted to get out of there quickly so you immediately brought out the papers.

“Do you want something to drink?” He asked.

“No, thank you.” You declined with a smile.

Jaehyun felt foreign. It seems like he doesn’t know who you are anymore. Well, after all, it has been eight years. You’ve grown into someone he’s unfamiliar with.

As you present your plans, Jaehyun couldn’t help but drift in his own thoughts. He wondered about what might have been. If things didn’t end up the way that they did, where would the both of you be right now? He wanted to marry you. He would look at you every night and think to himself that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Feelings change and so does what people think about others but he still wondered what would have been if he didn’t give up so easily.

But maybe, if the both of you held on that night, it could lead to even more damaging things. Jaehyun assured himself that he made the right decision instead of waiting for things to get worse. At least, right now, he has the ability to see you without resentment from either sides. That’s good enough for him.

“Thank you, my wife will definitely love that.” He commented.

Your heart sank at his statement. Of course, he’s married now. A beautiful creature like him would have no problems finding a partner. You didn’t know you hold hope in your heart right before it crashed down because of the sudden news. You were foolish in thinking that there could still be a chance.

“Your design is amazing, Y/N.” He said.

“Thank you,” You replied. “I’m glad that you like it.”

“I expected nothing but excellence from you. Of course, I would love it.”

You smiled at his words. Jaehyun never failed to make you feel appreciated. You’re bittersweet at the fact that another woman would feel appreciated everything, and that woman is not you. You remembered the late nights where you conclude that you would have this man for the rest of your life. All of that are a distant memory now, along with his touch and kisses.

The both of you are two different people now but you know, and Jaehyun knew, the love is still there. Maybe the romance already left, but the love and genuine care was still evergreen. And you both know that it will never die for as long as the two of you live.

 IX.

There are a lot of things that you regret in your life. Most of the time, you don’t want to change the past. Even if a lot of things made you want to crash and burn, it still formed you into someone you never knew you could become. This was your first time in Paris, France. The wealth and fame you accumulated over the past years of your life as an architect gave you all the opportunities to get to this very place. However, you made no efforts in landing here. Not until it reached the ten year mark.

You still remembered the promise. But the other party is still not present and it’s almost nearing midnight. You didn’t want to regret every coming here so you decided to relax and make this all about you.

“You remembered.” A voice spoke behind you. The chattering of people that laid in picnics under the Eiffel Tower were still loud despite the time.

Jaehyun is here. He remembered.

“You remembered.” You said back. Your eyes still covered with bewilder, almost not believing that Jaehyun is in front of you, keeping his side of the promise.

“How could I forget?” Jaehyun said, almost in a whisper. “How could I forget you?”

You did nothing but smile at him, with all the love remaining in your heart - all the love that will never go away no matter how much you try.

“Do you ever wondered what could have been if things didn’t go the way that they did?” You asked, looking up at the tall, iron tower.

“All the time.” He replied.

“How’s Chaeyoung and the kids?”

“They’re very well.” He replied with a nod. “How about Eunwoo?”

“He’s doing fine too. He’s currently in Germany with his family.” You answered.

“Ah, I’m glad my wish came true.” He said.

“Wish?”

“Yeah,” He turned his head in your direction. “My wish that you find someone who will love you better than I did.”

“You wished that?” You asked in disbelief.

“I actually didn’t wish it,” He said. “I knew that the universe made someone out there to love someone as beautiful as you.”

“Oh, stop it.” You blushed. You felt guilty that another man, specifically your ex, was making you blush.

“So, this is my proof when I promised you that I will always be here.” Jaehyun whispered.

“And me being here is my proof that I meant when I said that I want to hang out with you for as long as you want me to be.” You replied.

The night was young and alive, so is the love you have for each other. A love that, unfortunately, neither of you could ever express ever again.

[bluejayblueskies]

ten to one

Words: 2.8k

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Relationship: Tim Stoker/Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims/Sasha James

Characters: Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims, Sasha James

Additional Tags: Fluff, Kissing, Alcohol, New Year’s Eve, tim is a sore loser, sasha has cats, martin hates chestnuts, jon just wishes they could drink something other than champagne

Summary:

“You’re going to be sick,” Jon comments, taking a small sip of champagne from his glass and ignoring the way Tim’s lips curl into a pout. He’d said, when Sasha had poured him a glass of champagne, that he’d thought it was meant to be drunk at midnight; she’d assured him that this bottle was one of their pre-countdown bottles.

Given the number of bottles lining her kitchen countertop, he was inclined to believe her.

----

The archival staff counts down to the new year with cupcakes, champagne, and cats.

Read on Ao3

Or read below:

10

.

That’s how many little cupcakes Tim’s eaten, by Jon’s count. When Tim grins at him, his sharp-toothed smile is stained black from the frosting.

 “You’re going to be sick,” Jon comments, taking a small sip of champagne from his glass and ignoring the way Tim’s lips curl into a pout. He’d said, when Sasha had poured him a glass of champagne, that he’d thought it was meant to be drunk at midnight; she’d assured him that this bottle was one of their pre-countdown bottles.

 Given the number of bottles lining her kitchen countertop, he was inclined to believe her.

 “I’ll have you know,” Tim says, sliding closer to Jon on the couch and snagging his glass out of his hand, “that I have a stomach of steel. It’s sick-free!”

 He takes a long sip of champagne as if to prove his point. His lips stain the rim of the glass black.

 “Tim,” Jon says flatly. “That’s disgusting.”

 Tim looks at the glass, noticing the discolouration. “Huh.” Then, a wide grin splits his mouth nearly in two, and before Jon can pull back, Tim presses a quick kiss to his lips, lingering just long enough that Jon can taste the sugar on Tim’s mouth.

 It’s nice, and for a moment, Jon’s irritation melts a bit, softened by the champagne in his stomach and the feeling of Tim’s lips on his.

 Then, Tim pulls back too-quick and squints at Jon’s mouth. “Huh,” he repeats. “Looks like black food dye really does stain everything.”

 Jon looks at the glass, still in Tim’s hand, and then at Tim’s lips, tinged ever so slightly with black. His own still taste of sugar.

 “Tim!”

.

9

.

That’s how old Martin was the last time he spent New Year’s Eve with someone. It had been the first time his parents had let him stay up until midnight, and they’d given him a champagne flute of sparkling apple juice so that when the clock hit midnight he could toast the new year just like they did. He’d barely made it, his eyes fighting a losing battle against exhaustion as the new year inched closer and closer, but he’d done it.

 That had been a long time ago, though. After a while, Martin had taken to treating New Year’s Eve like any other day. No point in forcing himself to stay up late for something that was bound to be disappointing in the end.

 Now, though, Martin’s sat on the couch at Sasha’s house with Tim’s legs across his lap and Sasha tucked into his side, a large container of cheesy popcorn balanced between the three of them. Jon’s somewhere in the kitchen, having squirmed out from underneath Tim long enough to take the chestnuts out of the oven. From the little frustrated noises Martin can hear coming from the kitchen, Jon’s struggling to extract them from their shells.

 Martin’s really not a fan of chestnuts. But he’d rather die than tell Jon that right now.

 So when Jon finally returns to the living room, a steaming bowl of shucked chestnuts in his hand, Martin accepts one with a smile. And maybe it’s something about that night or the way that Jon’s smiling at him, but when he bites into the chestnut, he doesn’t hate it.

 He doesn’t hate it at all.

.

8

.

That’s what time Jon appears at Sasha’s front door, on time to the minute. He’s a good fifteen minutes ahead of Martin, who had sent Sasha a running late! text with a string of apologetic emojis attached to it, and at least an hour ahead of Tim, who has being fashionably late down to a science. Jon seems nervous, shifting back and forth on Sasha’s threshold with a bottle of champagne in one hand and a large bag of raw chestnuts in the other.

 Sasha lets him in with a warm greeting and a smile (and, once she’s taken the bottle out of his hands so he won’t drop it, a quick kiss on his cheek). He sets the chestnuts on the counter, his eyes going to her living room couch, then the kitchen, before finding her again.

 “Am I too early?” he says, eyes wide and unsure, and Sasha wonders briefly how he’d ever managed to convince them that he was stuffy and closed-off. Particularly when he’s standing in her living room, clutching a bag of chestnuts in his arms like a lifeline.

 “Nope,” Sasha says, extracting the chestnuts from his arms with a smile. “You’re right on time.”

.

7

.

That’s how many times Sasha’s caught Tim trying to open the bottle of special midnight champagne, tucked away on the far corner of the counter and labelled with a bright blue sticky note to avoid being accidentally opened. She supposes if she’d wanted to Tim-proof it, she probably should have put it in a locked safe. Though he knows her so well, he’d probably be able to guess the passcode.

 It should be irritating. Somehow, it’s hopelessly endearing instead.

 “Tim,” Sasha says, snatching the champagne out of his hands as his thumbnail begins to pick at the gold foil covering the cork. There’s a rip in it when she extracts it from him, revealing a small strip of cork underneath. “That’s for later!” Her eyes slide to the left, where there’s a half-full, open bottle of champagne sitting on the counter next to them. “What’s wrong with that champagne?”

 Tim gives her the saddest set of puppy dog eyes he has in his arsenal. “Sasha, I have been waiting months to drink that champagne. Months! I don’t want to wait until later!”

 A weaker woman would have folded under the impressive weight of Timothy Stoker’s big brown eyes and pouting lips. Sasha just grabs the open bottle of champagne and presses it into Tim’s hands with a smile and a quick kiss on those same lips. “Later,” she repeats, before taking the bottle to hide it somewhere Tim won’t be able to find it.

 She hopes.

.

6

.

That’s how many letters are in Martin’s name, Tim thinks idly as he runs his hands through Martin’s hair, scratching his nails lightly against Martin’s scalp. Somehow, in the rearranging of the four of them on Sasha’s obscenely long couch, Tim had ended up with Martin’s head on his lap, and he certainly isn’t going to complain.

 Sasha and Jon are bickering about some small detail in the movie they’ve put on, Tim thinks, like they always do—is it pronounced this way or that way, would a wide shot or a close-up be better here, would that specific piece of clothing have been period-typical at the time (yes, if it were dyed with indigo flowers, Jon had said primly, which had then been followed by a hey as Sasha’s elbow connected with his side)—and so he’s got Martin all to himself. Which is such a lovely place to be, he thinks as he continues to massage Martin’s scalp with his fingers.

 “Tim,” Martin says, his voice pinched slightly in that way it always gets when he’s receiving affection—like he’s always surprised by it, half-expecting it to be taken away without warning. “I have to tell you something.”

 Tim hums, a soothing noise, and says, “Okay, but I should warn you—I’m currently seeing someone. Several someones, actually. In fact, I believe it would technically be three—”

 “Okay, okay,” Martin says, one hand coming up to swat at Tim’s. His mouth is curled into a small, amused smile. “No need to be so…” He waves a hand in the air vaguely.

 “Handsome?” Tim suggests with a sharp grin.

 “Cheeky.”

 Tim puts on a comically large expression of shock. “No. Me? Couldn’t be.”

 Martin laughs, a small and breathy thing, and Tim loves him for it. His expression slips into something warmer and real, and he resumes running his hands through Martin’s hair. “Fine, fine, I’m listening. Go ahead, Martin.”

 “Thank you.” Martin closes his eyes, hums gently, and says, without opening his eyes, “You have frosting on your nose.”

.

5

.

That’s how many fingers are on Jon’s left hand as it finds Martin’s on the couch, those same fingers threading through Martin’s with an ease that could be practised had it not been just a few months since working together had turned into getting lunch together had turned into pining had turned into… everything else. Martin had spent a lot of time looking at Jon’s hands, before; the way that his knuckles are wider than the rest of the finger, or the way that he drums his fingers on his desk when he’s bored, or the way that his hands look wrapped around a mug of tea, black and over-steeped just like Jon likes it.

 They’d looked soft, Martin had thought.

 He’d been right.

 The kiss Martin places over the top of Jon’s knuckles is quick and impulsive, his lips still wearing the smile from something Tim had said and his other hand clasped with Sasha’s (her grip is impressively tight, like she’s afraid she’s going to drop him). The soft, surprised smile that Jon gives him is worth the entire world.

.

4

.

That’s how many cards Tim has to draw when Martin plays the Draw 4 Uno card, giving him an apologetic smile that does nothing to alleviate the fact that Tim had one card left and was about to win, goddammit!

 “Martin,” Tim says as he draws painstaking card after painstaking card. “Dearest Martin.” He draws another card. “Lovely, kind Martin.” He draws the final card and gives Martin his best solemn expression. “This is how you ruin relationships, Martin. This, right here.”

 Martin’s face is flushed pink, but his voice is casual when he says, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Tim. I’m just playing the game.”

 Tim points at Martin, looking back and forth between Jon and Sasha for support. “Do you hear that? Nothing but disrespect. Treachery. A fatal blow!”

 Sasha looks like she’s trying not to laugh. Jon just looks bemused. “I mean, he is just playing the game,” Jon says with a small shrug. “And I believe he’s winning.”

 Tim looks over at the single card Martin’s holding, and before his brain can process the situation fast enough to call Martin out for not declaring it, Martin says quickly, “Uno!”

 “Jon!” Tim says, kind of wishing it hadn’t come out so whiny but feeling altogether too slighted to do anything about it.

 “My turn,” Jon says, and plays a reverse card.

 “Oh, I hate you all.”

.

3

.

That’s how many glasses of champagne Martin has had, which is a lot for him since he doesn’t really make a habit of drinking, especially wine, which tends to give him a headache even if he drinks white. But Jon had assured him that champagne is essentially tannin-free, having minimal skin and oak contact, so the only thing Martin had to worry about was his own terrible alcohol tolerance.

 Well, Jon hadn’t said that last part. That was just Martin.

 Three glasses, it seems, is enough to activate Martin’s least-favourite part about drinking—the complete inability of his brain to keep every single thing that comes across his mind from spilling out into the open. He’s already told Sasha that he accidentally stole the cardigan she keeps in her desk at work and, by the time he realized a week later, was too embarrassed to give it back. (“So that’s where that went!” Sasha had said with an accusatory tone.) He interrupted Tim mid-sentence to tell him, quite abruptly, that whenever Tim wore that black-and-white patterned shirt to work—which was just a bit smaller on him than the others and which he usually wore with the top two buttons unbuttoned—he could never stop staring at it. (“Really?” Tim had said with a smirk. “I suppose I’ll have to wear it more often then.”)

 And now, when Jon shoots Tim a very impressive glare and says, in his best professional voice, “I don’t think that’s quite work-appropriate, Tim,” Martin isn’t able to keep himself from blurting out that he finds Jon’s “archivist” voice really, really hot.

 The silence that blankets the room at that is deafening. Tim looks delighted; Sasha looks amused. And the flush that spreads over Jon’s face is really quite impressive, visible even in the low light of Sasha’s living room.

 Martin really shouldn’t have had that third glass of champagne.

.

2

.

That’s how many cats Sasha has, until now shut away in her bedroom to avoid being overwhelmed by the loud noise or being stepped on. At Tim’s insistence (and Jon’s not-so-subtle glances toward her closed door), Sasha finally relents, but not before pointing a stern finger at Tim and telling him to behave.

 (“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Tim says innocently, like he doesn’t always end up getting himself bitten or scratched.)

 Now, one cat—an orange-and-white shorthair named Darwin—is curled up in front of the television, currently being assaulted by Tim and Martin as they spoil him with pets and treats and the little feather on a string that he likes. The other—a midnight-black longhair named Emily with wide yellow eyes—is sprawled across Jon’s lap, her purring loud enough that Sasha can hear it from the kitchen where she’s subtly retrieving the bottle of midnight champagne from its hiding place. Sasha’s pretty sure she’s never seen Jon look at anything like that—with eyes full of love and wonder and the corners of his mouth pulled up into what looks like an involuntary smile.

 Sasha’s suddenly so very in love with him—with all of them—that she can barely breathe. It’s not an emotion she’s very comfortable with—she’s never gotten crushes easily, and the ones she’s had tended to ruin year-long friendships when they sprung up almost overnight, when her brain finally decided that it wanted more. Jon, she’s known for ages, their desks in research being directly across from one another and her persistence knowing no bounds. Martin longer still, having met him when he worked in the library and she worked in artifact storage. Tim is the most recent, technically, but god, it feels like she’s known him her whole life.

 There’s a small shriek from the living room, and when Sasha looks back, she sees Tim with his hand buried in the fur of Darwin’s stomach, Darwin’s teeth nipping at the flesh of Tim’s thumb. “Ow ow ow, sharp,” Tim says, but he’s laughing, and he continues to rub at Darwin’s belly with a smile on his face.

 Really, Sasha thinks as she turns back to the kitchen with a smile of her own, there’s nowhere she’d rather be.

.

1

.

That’s how many minutes there are until midnight. The glass of champagne in Jon’s hand looks exactly the same as all the others, but Sasha had insisted that it was better, Jon, it’ll taste heavenly, I promise, so he holds it and watches the numbers on the television screen begin to count down.

 It strikes Jon, as the seconds pass and midnight draws closer, that he’s never really felt any need to celebrate the new year. The two days—New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day—were technically indistinguishable from one other, delineated only by the human decision to make them so, and therefore what was the point really of staying up so late just to drink bad wine and stare at a clock? He’d gone to a New Year’s Eve party once with Georgie in uni, and it had been fine, but once they broke up he really didn’t see any reason to attend another. He disliked everything about New Year’s celebrations—the bad champagne, the resolutions nobody kept, the way he always wrote the date wrong for a few weeks afterwards.

 He doesn’t dislike this, though, he realizes, sitting with Tim pressed up against one side and Martin against the other and Sasha on the end of the couch next to Tim, all of them watching the countdown with rapt attention. Maybe the champagne is terrible and the resolutions are silly and having to constantly erase the last number of the year will be frustrating, but this—being together, celebrating together—really isn’t so bad at all.

 The countdown reaches ten, and Tim begins to vocalize the numbers along with it as they flash across the screen, altogether too loudly for this time of night. Sasha and Martin join in at eight, and Jon finally makes up his mind as the counter hits one, his lips shaping the word along with the rest of them.

 Glasses clink and champagne is drunk (not heavenly, Jon thinks, but more palatable than the rest) and kisses are shared as Happy New Year! flashes across the television screen. And, Jon thinks, it’s really quite lovely after all. To bring in the new year with the people you love.

.

0.

That’s how many of them wake up the next morning without mouths full of cotton and pounding headaches, the several empty bottles of champagne making themselves known.

 “Ughhhhh,” Tim groans eloquently, and falls back asleep.

[julietohara]

aha i found it!! for the ask meme thing: arrowverse perhaps? with the benefit of time to reflect?

this will probably be arrow heavy in responses i’m so sorry

the first character i ever fell in love with: probably tommy or thea!

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: i have such a back and forth relationship with laurel sigh

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: probably tommy/laurel? like i just don’t care as much

my ultimate favorite character™: felicity my bb i will always love u

prettiest character: there are no losers here lbr it’s a cw show

my most hated character: probably just like... pick a villain ya know lmao

my OTP: felicity & oliver

my NOTP: laurel & oliver rip

favorite episode: dodger!!!!

saddest death: tommy? probably

favorite season: s1 of arrow

least favorite season: s5 of arrow

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: i don’t think i have one? i can name a bunch everyone else hates that i love tho tragique

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: ......prometheus

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: cisco tbqh

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: i’m so vanilla i don’t even think i have one whoops

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: i used to ship cisco & caitlin so much

[whirlybirbs]

⋆    —--   CARHOP COOL, 2.

summary: you see steve at family video. it prompts some reflection, some questions, and some good ol’ memories of your time at hawkins high. you try to stay frosty but it’s hard when steve harrington is being so nice. pairing: steve harrington x reader, post season three word count: 1.7k a/n: here it is, folks! part two! we have a beach, a movie, and a lotta tension. 

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It’s weird. 

He’s weird.

Steve Harrington is weird and he’s changed and you’re not really sure how you feel about it.

As you pull into the parking lot of the Family Video in your beat-up, slate grey Civic Hatchback, you catch a glimpse of the high school legend in question through the front window. 

He looks the same as he always has. Tall, doe-eyed, good hair... 

Stupidly good looking.

Steve was a mythic figure in grade school. High school just... elevated things. It was like Senior Year came and a throne was vacated just for him -- he was the king of Hawkins High and everyone knew it. 

Then, Nancy Wheeler dumped him for Jonathan Byers and everything changed. 

His title of Prom King was snatched by the grubby, freckled claws of Tommy H. with Carol on his arm that fateful night, then Billy Hargrove walked on and booted him from captain of the basketball team, and then he was rejected by, like, every college he applied to -- or so rumor had it.

(Jenny Larson had told you all about it during the spring production of Oklahoma!... She was obsessed with him. It was like she’d opened his mail or something. You wouldn’t put it past her. She had crazy eyes. You and Robin were always a little freaked out by her. Eugh.)

And, so, Steve Harrington and his mighty hair faded into the yearbook pages of Hawkins Class of ‘85 as a fallen king. 

And now, here he is: selling VHS’s alongside his best friend who was also your best friend. 

(You wonder if that makes him your best-friend-by-proxy? You’d rather not think about it. Best friends don’t launch spit-balls at the back of each other’s heads during Spanish finals and laugh about it and never let it go. Best friends also don’t point and laugh at that DIY perm you did sophomore year, no matter how bad -- best friends, like Robin, help you slather your hair in conditioner and relaxers while you sob in your upstairs bathroom at your fried mane. So, no, Steve Harrington is not your best-friend-by-proxy.)

Narrowing your eyes, you drum your fingers on the steering wheel and snap your gum. 

God, you really don’t want to go in there.

But, then again, you wonder what you have to lose. What, the approval of some washed-up cool-kid? Screw him. He’s dumb anyways. He’s... all hair.

Literally.

Cutting the engine (and subsequently the Donna Summer track playing on your radio), you haul open the door and decide to get this whole thing over with. 

The bell above your head chimes as you walk into the Family Video and Steve Harrington promptly chokes on his can of New Coke upon realizing it’s you. 

It goes up his nose. 

Quickly, he tries to rebound.

“Hey! Hi!” he chirps in an uncharacteristically excited tone, “Welcome, uh, to Family Video!”

You freeze in the doorway and squint.

Steve’s been having some thoughts.

Wild, he knows, but Robin had keyed into how spaced out he’d been since he’d seen you the other night down at Roll-o’s and had decidedly not let it go -- “Just like you never let her whole perm thing go, Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington!” -- in a well-aimed play of well-deserved vengeance. 

For the last three nights, he’s been beating himself up over the sudden realization that he’s got cold feet -- and even Henderson noticed it. 

But, seriously? Could you blame him? He was a grade-A asshole for most of high school and now he’s a huge loser (self-proclaimed, despite both Robin and Dustin’s protests) and you’re super cool. You’re all frosty poise and pastel rollerblades. 

And here he is, working part-time at Family Video, spending the rest of his summer indoors.

Steve Harrington, pale loser.

Not to mention, you had a lot of friends in high school -- maybe not swearing loyalty to any one group, but you fleeted around and blended in and you got along so well with everyone. Everyone knew it was you and Robin Buckley against the world. 

Compare that to his own dumb ass and he’s the world’s saddest pale loser.

At least he has Robin. And you do, too.

Which is why you’re here. In Family Video.

Staring at him.

You pull your sunglasses down your nose, furrow your brow and speak slowly.

“Are you... okay?”

Steve plants his palm on the counter, a sudden flare of nerves lighting his chest on fire as he card a hand through his hair and smiles with the gusto of a man living by the motto fake-it-til-you-make-it. “Me? Yeah -- yeah, I’m good. How’re you? What’s up?”

You push your sunglasses up, snap your gum and shove your hands in the pockets of your jean shorts. Frosty.

“Looking for Robin,” you say curtly, shrugging a bit, “Is she around? She called -- we’re catching a movie after her shift.”

Steve deflates a bit. No invite. Understandable, but ouch. “Uh, yeah, she’s out back with Keith organizing the rental returns.”

You pull a face. 

Steve sees it. He narrows his eyes, lips upturning a bit in curiosity. The expression on your face isn’t so frosty as you toe the carpet with your skate shoes and eye the display of comedies. 

“What?”

“Hm?” you blink back at him, eyes wide, “What?”

“That look,” he says, leaning forward onto his elbows, “What was that for?”

It takes you a second to realize that Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington is trying to make conversation with you. He’s really trying. 

You push your sunglasses back over your hair and move to eye around him. When you speak, it’s quiet.

“Y’know. Keith.”

Steve’s brows raise and he blinks fast. “Oh, yeah, yeah, he’s -- uh...”

He pulls his bottom lip in and waves a hand, searching for the words. 

(They’re evading him because he’s seriously not looking to make himself look like more of an asshole.)

“Creepy?” you offer, turning over a copy of Revenge of the Nerds, “Mad creepy. I’m sure Robin is, like, two seconds from emptying a can of pepper spray in his face.”

“Does she carry pepper spray?”

You shrug. “It’s Robin --”

“-- Yeah, good point.”

“I mean, she could carry a taser --”

“-- And I wouldn’t ask a single question.”

... It’s not weird. Whatever this is isn’t weird.

The laugh you both share is short and quiet but it’s genuine and before the moment can bleed into something like non-verbal peace treaty between warring high school personalities, the girl in question bursts from the back with a big ol’ smile.

“Would y’ look at that!” she claps, “My two best friends! Talking!”

You toss her a wide grin, dropping your sunglasses back down to your nose and as she glides over the counter and leaps into the same handshake you’ve shared since the seventh grade. 

Steve watches with a lopsided smirk. Goofballs. It’s cute.

“You ready for Phenomena?” Robin asks, waving her fingers and cooing like a ghost, “OooOOOooh! Bugs! Psychic powers! Horror!”

“Uh, try drive-in popcorn!” you snort, swatting her hands away, “Took you long enough. I’m starving.”

“You guys are seeing Phenomena?” Steve asks, drumming his fingers on the counter, “I heard it’s good --”

A light bulb bursts above Robin Buckley’s head and you swear you saw it, it was that bright.

“Steve!”

“Robin!” he says with a faux amount of excitement.

“Y-You should come!”

You blink.

Steve blinks at you.

Then at Robin.

Guilt flies across his face. He realizes he’s making you uncomfortable. From the way you tense up and look at Robin, he can tell you’re totally not into that idea.

So, he sputters.

“Uh... I dunno, Rob, I gotta close --”

You decide, in that moment, that Steve Harrington has changed and sure it’s weird but... you’re weird, too. And maybe he wasn’t so... terrible. I mean, he was still stupidly good looking -- and that’s why you’re so tense. Because the one thing you’d believed for all those years is being flipped upside down and you’re about to willingly spending time with The Steve Harrington.

“Why not?” you ask slowly, surprising everyone in the room, even yourself, “It’d be fun. Keith can close up.”

Steve jaw drops. “... Wait, seriously?”

Robin’s whole face lights up.

She blinks between you both. 

You’re glad your sunglasses are on. You try to stay frosty. Can’t let the cool-kid know you have feelings.

“Yeah,” you say, trying to keep your tone even, “I mean -- if you’re gonna launch a spitball at the back of my head during it, don’t even bother, but...”

Steve’s face falls.

You see the real guilt there. It shocks you.

“Listen,” he raises his hands, “I was a dick --”

Robin quirks a brow. “A mega-dick, Harrington.”

“Right, a mega-dick. You... You don’t have to invite me. It’s cool. I get it. I’m, uh...” his words falter off, lost as he drops his gaze and pulls his lips tightly together, “I get it.”

There’s a pause.

And then you sigh. 

“Stop looking like a kicked puppy and just get into my car, Steve.”

Brown eyes light up so bright it’s like you’re smiling at the sun.

“Seriously?”

You start for the door with a grin. “Did I stutter?”

Robin peels into victorious laughter as Steve scrambles faster than light, hucking his vest across the room and leaping over the counter -- he’s grinning as he does, pushing you and Robin out the door before Keith can protest from the back room.

You all pile into your Hatchback and the laughter that’s shared isn’t forced.

For the first time in a week, Steve Harrington hasn’t felt so weird. 

For the first time in years, you’ve felt like you’ve peaked.

[confessionsofcalling]

What do you feel you are called to be or do?

Messy, complicated and afraid - but showing up anyway.

It almost seems like the opposite of calling right? Surely when you're called to ministry, when you feel called by God, that requires some sort of perfection, some sort of speciality, something that means you'll get it right and always follow God in the right way, no slip ups, no wrong turns, no wandering off the path. I believe this idea of holier than thou is one of the major problems we have as a community of believers today, which is why, call it my mission statement if you will, I always want to be messy, complicated and sometimes afraid - but never failing to show up anyway.

I'm not sure where this idea that being a person of faith, that being someone who is called, has ever required perfection or being put together or always knowing the answer. God makes beauty out of brokenness, so why would we ever hide our brokenness?

Look to the Bible - how many messy, complicated and yet unbelievably faithful people do we see?

Take heart, God doesn’t call qualified people, He qualifies the people He calls. 

God called liars, cheats, unfaithful husbands and wives, those who were cast out from society, He looked at them in all of their mess and said “yes, those are the people I want”.

And most of all, He showed us it's okay to be messy, complicated and afraid and still show up, He showed that He gets what it’s like to be human, gets what it’s like to feel drawn to getting your hands dirty and doing the work no one else wants to do. We know He knows how it feels, because that is exactly what Jesus did.

He dined with sinners, He took His place as the lowest among society and told them that they were good enough already, told then their mess is just as much of a message as anyone else's. Jesus was messy, He laughed with His friends, He did the dirty work, He cried and mourned and questioned, just like we do. He looked at the world and knew it was hard, knew it was painful, knew there were many things we would never get, but He still showed up, He still thought we were all worth it. Phillip Yancey talks about the fact that Jesus was the first world leader to propagate a kingdom with a heroic world for losers. Speaking to a nation raised on stories of mighty kings and triumphant armies, He positioned Himself with the messy and the complicated and the afraid, the prodigal, not the obedient son, Lazarus a loved and lowly friend, not the rich man. Building on Spurgeon, the church’s duty, the duty I feel called to position the church towards, is to set aside her dignity and respectability, counting it glory to gather together the outcasts.

So I feel called to be messy, to have a messy ministry, to find the diamonds in the rough, to bring the church out of the shadow of its steeples and bring it however much kicking and screaming into a new light. The church has been refuge for me, it has been a family and home and it has done that for so many before me and it will continue to do that for so many after, but also, for too long it has been a source of darkness in people’s lives, somewhere they felt unloved and and unwelcome and I think that is one of the saddest things I’ve ever witness - a church so bogged down in everything from petty gripes to abuses of power and it’s left in a situation where it can get stuck or it can move on, learn it’s lessons and do better. I live the church so much, and that why it needs to change, that's why it needs people like me who are determined, who have fresh ideas and also love tradition, who cares about its old and its young, who cares about seeing the church thriving and not dying, who wants each church to have a place for all.

An image that really stuck with  me was a picture of Jesus, embracing a rainbow haired punk, their face showing a level of disbelief, it made me realise just how much the church could gain from being messy, complicated and afraid and showing up anyway - because and ill sound like broken record till it sticks, that’s what Jesus did. It hurts me that seeing a loving and passionate follower of Jesus, could be rare enough that it can strike disbelief, that hearing or experience the truth of Jesus could be so wildly different from what many have been led to believe about Him. Jesus didn’t hate people, He loved people more than we could ever understand. We need to look at these divinely, including ourselves, chaotic people out there that are such an asset to our family and welcome them in, not shut them out. I cannot boast of my love for God, but I can boast of His love for me and for everyone, which is why when I look to being the lead of a church, I don’t want to be ordained so I can be high and mighty, I want to be ordained because that's the path I can see to make great change, by being someone in a position, someone who has voice, not to get myself heard but to get others heard, to do the big things and the small things.

Welcoming new lives into God’s family, and welcoming older lives anew, witnessing to love and both starting it’s journey with a wedding ring or ending its journey with a goodbye, to stand with a church family, holding their hands and saying “who’s not in the room?”. There are so many times when I’ve wanted to walk away, when I didn't want to step out in faith and be messy for everyone to see, but it felt as though God’s hand held me by shoulder and said “No, you’ve got work to do”

Can I conclude such a multifaceted thing about what I feel called too? Certainly not neatly but I guess that's the whole point -  being messy, complicated and afraid and showing up anyway means bringing out the God colours in the world, it means cradling a broken church full of broken people, not telling them that their brokenness equals hopelessness but going with them, even when we’re afraid, to heal and to learn and see all the opportunities we have to be a world-changing church, because we have a world changing God, who gets the messiness, the fear and the complexity, and looking lovingly on the diversity of His creation and His church, urging us forward to embrace an ethos that matches His heart for radical inclusion and reckless love.

[bitchinrichie]

Fears of the Past ch 4

Major IT ch 2 Spoilers!!

I’m seriously on a roll with writing y’all

AU

***********************************

Numb. You were numb as you sat staring down at the floor. Richie sitting at the end of the bed, switching from looking at you to the hallway. The others gathered outside, silent, you could hear one of them pacing.

You turned to look at Richie and you honestly didn’t recognize him for a moment. He looked paler and empty, like there was nothing left of him. You understood though, he and Stan had been best friends since they were 3 years old. You three were really close, especially during high school.

***

You were leaving for college in a few days and you had finally built up the courage to tell Stan. You had rehearsed it with Richie, who kept reassuring you that Stan wouldn’t hate you. He had marched you over to the Uris residence and Stan could sense you were nervous about something. Richie squeezed your shoulder before walking back down the street.

“Hey, what’s wrong babylove? You know you can tell me anything,” he stared at you, taking your hands in his as you sat down on his bed.

“I got accepted into Stanford and I’m moving out to California in a few days,” all your words were mashed together as you spoke quickly. Stan looked so hurt,

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared, I didn’t want to lose you and I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible making it seem like I wasn’t leaving-” He stopped your rambling by hugging you tight, you cried into his chest as you felt his tears run down his chin.

“I love you, y/n. I would never leave you. Just promise me you’ll never forget me?”

“I promise”

***

“Y/n? Honey, we- we shouldn’t leave him in there.” Bev approached you hesitantly.

“Bev, come on, she just walked in on his-” he couldn’t say it, he wouldn’t say it. Richie just shook his head. Bev sighed and grabbed your hand.

“It’s been almost 3 hours, we can’t leave him in there.”

“I didn’t want to,” it was so quiet and broken, you didn’t realize you said it. Bev and Richie just stared at you with the saddest, apologetic faces and you broke down again. You wiped your tears, getting off the bed and walking off to god knows where. You tried to block out the others yelling for you to stop and come back but you kept going.

You didn’t make it far, you were sitting outside in the parking lot next to your car. You didn’t have a plan but you knew you wanted to be out of there. You felt empty, you hadn’t done enough. The minute you saw Stan again, you wanted to tell him you loved him and that you’re sorry that you did forget him. It was so quiet, the breeze was softly blowing through your hair.

The more you thought about it, the angrier you got. IT has taken away the man you loved, had taunted you about your sexuality and aimed to hurt more of your friends. You weren’t having it, you were gonna kill that fucker if it was the last thing you did. You ran back to the inn, rushing back upstairs while everyone started asking what the hell was going on.

Your blood was boiling as you opened the door to Stan’s room again, the others stood behind you as you walked. You entered the bathroom to look at your lover one more time but instead you found or actually didn’t find something you should have.

“What the fuck guys? You think this is funny? Where’s Stan?” You snapped at your friends who stared in confusion and disbelief.

“Y/n I’m here,” you whipped around to find Stan standing by the bed without a shirt on, holding a towel on his bleeding shoulder. He had minor cuts on his face and a huge bruise close to his beautiful curls. You just stood there, not believing what you were seeing,

“You- you were dead- there was so much blood- and the writing? On the wall? How-” you were rambling and hyperventilating, you pinched your arm and winced, this was real. He was here standing before you and before you realized what you were doing, you walked over, wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. He used his good arm to hold you close as you broke apart and you sobbed.

***

“Okay is this some Evil Dead shit or are you actually you Staniel?” Richie poked his cheek while Stan rolled his eyes as Bev fixed up his shoulder.

“It’s still me, trashmouth,” Richie dramatically sighed in relief and everyone laughed, you chuckled lightly but you just kept on staring at Stan.

“So uh, are we gonna talk about this?” Ben shuffled around as he looked at you.

“All I remember is I came back here to look for something, a knife in my shoulder, finding fucking Henry Bowers behind me as he pulled it out and attacking me again and he knocked me out,” Stan sighed as Bev finished patching him up- “I don’t know why he shoved me in the tub and I’m pretty sure he wrote that message to fuck with you.”

“He stabbed Eds too so maybe he’s out for-” Bev was interrupted,

“HE WHAT, EDDIE ARE YOU OKAY WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME.”

“HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT A WOUND ON MY CHEEK DIPSHIT.” You had been pulled out of your trance by the bickering idiots and you really thought Richie was gonna have an aneurysm. Stan took this opportunity to take your hand and take you into the hallway,

“Hey, look at me, please y/n?” He said it with the softest voice you’d ever heard and you obliged. He cupped your cheek and smiled at you,

“I thought you died. I didn’t know..”

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere babylove,” he sealed that promise by kissing you ever so softly. You intertwined your fingers together and vowed to yourself to never let him go.

“Aww I missed watching you two love birds suck each other’s faces off,” Richie made kissing noises and laughed while you and Stan just rolled your eyes. He was still laughing but Richie made his way over to you both and just hugged you. Richie loved with all of his being, losing any one of you would break him.

The others joined very quickly in a much needed group hug, some of you breaking apart to be closer to others- Rich and Stan, you and Bev, and Ben and Eds.

“Hey Bev, where’s Bill?” Eddie asked suddenly.

“Um he ran off after we saw a skateboard roll down the stairs, he said it was the kid from the restaurant, he lived at Bill’s old house and Bill said he was in trouble.” Bev sounded more confused in every word so everyone was in the same boat.

***

The 6 of you were walking to the library as Mike proposed earlier, you were walking beside Stan, hands laced together. You could hear Eddie and Richie bickering ahead of you while Ben shyly walked next to Bev.

“I wanted to ask you, what were you looking for when you went back up there?” You gripped his hand tighter and you could hear him hum in content,

“I had been cleaning out old boxes from my apartment and I found an old drawing you did of a bird which you had written on ‘I love you forever my bird boy’” he paused and let out a little laugh- “and along with it was a picture of us cuddled up on your couch, asleep. I wanted to show them to you.”

You let a tear roll down your cheek while you rest your head on his shoulder as you continue walking to the library.

***

The library seemed darker than usual, the streetlights surrounding it were barely flickering. The door had been left ajar probably just Mike leaving it open for you all. Quickly walking through the door, something didn’t feel right.

“Guys I don’t know about this..” you whispered loudly so they all stopped walking.

“It’s just Mike, I’m sure everything is fine,” Richie tried to reassure and then you heard yelling and glass breaking. You all tried to stay as quiet as possible trying to find out what the hell was going on. With everyone on edge, you lost track of Richie,

“Where the hell did Rich go??” Everyone looked around for him, you ran around the corner just as Richie had smashed an axe into Bowers head. Bowers fall on the ground and Mike stared up at Richie in shock, you started to approach and then Richie threw up.

“Jesus fuck, Rich”

“You okay?”

“No I’m not! I just killed someone!!” Richie yelled.

“I was talking to Mike..” Ben added sheepishly.

Mike got off the floor, dusting himself off, patting Richie’s shoulder and coming over to the group. He asked where Bill was and none of you could answer definitely so he called him. Sighing as Bill had hung up on him,

“He said the kid was killed in front of him by IT and he’s going to kill it.”

“Alone? Is he kidding?” Eddie scoffed.

“Where would be even go?” Stan asked, squeezing the bridge of his nose.

“Where we fought it last time..”

“Neibolt.” You all day in unison. You knew, you all knew. The Losers club was in the Endgame now.

@unamused-fangirl @tozierchee @eddiegaykaspbrak @chipoisaloser @multi-parker @tropicaluris @happyhanlon @checkontherep @stark-spiderling @itsbaconheree

[therainroguefanfiction]

Poisoned (Woozi)

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, AU, School, Crossover, Romance ☁

Word Count: 3,635 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Jihoon ☁

World: Kpop, Seventeen ft. GOT7 and Topp Dogg/Xeno-T ☁

Prompt:  “Oh, this has got to be the most disgusting thing ever – here, taste it!”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You sat in the back of your Home Economics class, watching the pair in front of you with pure amazement. Mingyu and Jaebum were the power duo of the class, getting a perfect grade on every dish they made. You just couldn’t understand how they made such amazing food with no effort.

“Yah, stop daydreaming and help me.” Your partner, Byungjoo, nudged you in the side with a scowl.

“It’s just ramen, Bjoo, how hard is it to make?” You questioned, lazily, choosing instead to lean back in your chair.

“With that attitude, you’ll never impress Jihoon.” He pointed the spoon at you with a frown before turning back to the ramen.

You also frowned, sliding down in your chair. Your eyes landed on the boy in question, positioned on the opposite side of the room, working with his partner, Jinyoung. You’ve been crushing on the blonde boy since he stood up for you in middle school, but since you had different social circles, you found it hard to talk to him. None of your friends knew him, so it was a struggle to find a way to work yourself into his life. That didn’t stop you from trying to come up with a solution, though.

You sighed in frustration, letting your head fall onto the table. “What am I gonna do?”

Byungjoo patted your back half-heartedly as he focused on the soup. “On the bright side, it’s movie night.”

That did make you feel a bit better. “Can I choose the movie this time?”

He shrugged. “I don’t care, but you know how picky Jiho is.”

Byungjoo, Jiho and yourself have been best friends ever since you were tots in diapers. As you grew older, the bond between you became stronger until the three of you became a family, supporting each other through life’s twists and turns. To celebrate this bond and to face the reality that you all would probably split ways after high school, Jiho started hosting a movie night. Every Friday, the three of you would gather on his couch and watch several movies, usually chosen by Jiho himself. It was a small frame of time where you forgot about everything else, stuffed your face with various snacks, and enjoyed the company of your brothers.

When school ended, you and Byungjoo raced off to the local movie rental store, Blickbuster. The blonde kept sneaking around the isles trying to see which genre and movie you were choosing, but he was soon cornered by a couple of girls from school who may or may not have an unhealthy obsession with him.

‘That’s what you get for being so popular’, you snickered to yourself, quickly grabbing a couple movies that looked interesting before rushing to the counter. Because the internet was taking over when it came to movies, Blickbuster wasn’t as popular as it once had been. It sucked for them, but it was good for you because there was no line to wait in.

The cashier took his sweet time to scan the movies, making you want to yell at him to move a little faster, but he was an older gentleman and you didn’t want to be rude. You could hear Byungjoo’s steps as he rushed over to you, but the movies were slid into the plastic bag just before he reached the counter. He pouted at you, but you just offered him a thumbs up and a cheeky smile.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Jiho looked up when his front door opened, scowling at the two of you – chatting cheerfully with each other as if you hadn’t been more than fifteen minutes late. “What took you two so long? We were supposed to walk home together, remember?” You tried to subtly shift the bag behind you, but he caught the logo. “No way, I don’t trust you, Y/N!”

When he turned away to set up the DVD player, you and Byungjoo shared a sneaky look.

Sniffling loudly, you put on the saddest face you could manage as you approached the couch, hands clasped tightly against your legs. Jiho watched you with suspicious eyes while Byungjoo looked at you with pity, making sure the brown-haired male saw the look. “Come on, man! Y/N is having some serious dating issues. She was really looking forward to showing us this movie.”

Still suspicious, he shifted his weight uncomfortably. “What movie is it?”

“I wanted to – sniffle – surprise you.” You responded in a timid voice. Byungjoo nodded, throwing his arms around your shoulders and frowning at the male.

Heaving out a deep sigh, Jiho gave in. “Fine,”

As soon as the words passed his lips, your mood flipped and you high-fived the male next to you. Dread filled him as Jiho realized that he had just been played. “You guys suck!”

“We love you, too, Jiho~!” You both chorused, working together to form a heart with your hands.

Working together, you quickly filled the coffee table with snacks and got everything connected. The boys settled down on the couch while you popped the disk into the DVD player, flicking off the lights. You squeezed in between them and pressed play.

Twenty minutes into the horror movie, both boys were clutching onto you for dear life, screaming every time something mildly disturbing happened which was quite often. Meanwhile, you were completely relaxed, munching on popcorn as the guy was forced to saw his ankle off in order to escape the room.

“You guys are such babies.” You mumbled, flinching. “Stop screaming in my ear, Jiho!”

“You have no soul!” He cried, throwing the blanket over his head when a particularly loud scream left the television.

Jiho’s older sister, Sarang, descended the stairs, rubbing her tired eyes. When she saw the horror movie playing on the screen, she decided to sneak up behind the three, screaming as loud as her lungs would allow. Her brother shrieked, falling off the couch and throwing himself against the wall. Byungjoo slammed his face into your shoulder, nails digging into your arm. Even you jumped, whipping around to face the source.

“That was not funny, sis!”

Sarang giggled, flicking the lights on. “I thought it was hilarious!”

You paused the movie and tried to pry the blonde off of you. “Did we wake you up?”

“Yes, but I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.” She plopped down on the couch next to you. “Mind if I join?”

“Nope! I’m going to bed, goodnight!” Without waiting for a response, Jiho stomped up the stairs, having had enough of being scared for one night.

You turned to Byungjoo who had finally removed his nails from your skin. “You in?”

Taking a deep breath, he hesitantly nodded.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You flipped through the channels, looking for something at least mildly interesting to watch. You and Sarang had finished both movies, and Byungjoo had fallen asleep sometime during the second movie, using your shoulder as a pillow. You weren’t tired at all, though.

Because of how late it was, there wasn’t much playing on TV, so you just settled for a Running Man re-run. The blonde snored lightly as Sarang exited the kitchen, carrying two glasses of coke.

“So tell me, Y/N. Have you confessed your undying love to that boy yet?”

You shifted in your seat, taking a long sip of the drink.

“That’s a no,” she laughed, “You’re taking Home Ec, right?”

“Yeah, but I can’t cook to save my life.” You frowned at the glass, rubbing your thumb over the condensation. “Pretty sure Bjoo is failing because of me.”

“That’s a shame. You know, don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“You joined Home Ec and you don’t even know?” She looked at you in surprise. “What did you join for, then?”

“Bjoo begged me to join him because he thought the class would be full of girls. He wanted to use me as his wingman, but the class is mostly guys. There are only four girls, and two of them are obsessed with him.”

Sarang giggled. “Ah, high school life~ I remember what it was like being young~”

“You’re not even that old…”

“But you know, Y/N,” she leaned forward, holding her finger up with a smile, “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

You sat for a moment, taking in that information. “If that’s the case, then I really am screwed!”

“Nonsense! Your teacher is Mrs. Jung, right?”

“Yeah,”

“Perfect! She’s an amazing cook and a brilliant teacher. As long as you listen well and do as she does, you’ll be a pro in no time.” She patted your shoulder gently. “You’re resourceful and smart, have some confidence in yourself.”

You nodded, jumping off the couch and holding out your fist in determination. “You’re right, I can do this!”

Byungjoo groaned in pain, having been thrown face-first onto the floor.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“I can’t do this…” You muttered as Mrs. Jung approached your table.

She looked down at the plate of food you had prepared, up to your crestfallen face, and back down to the food. What was meant to be a simple dish of bacon, eggs, and toast turned out to be a disaster because Byungjoo trusted you to cook the food alone after you begged him all morning.

The eggs were like rubber, the bacon was hard as a brick, and the poor toast, rather than being golden brown, had turned pitch black. Mrs. Jung cleared her throat, “Well… we all have to start somewhere. Good effort, Y/N, Byungjoo.”

You bowed your head in shame as the girls at the next table started laughing at you. Byungjoo did his best to comfort you, but his words didn’t reach. You honestly felt like such a failure – a hopeless loser that couldn’t even make toast properly. It wasn’t just your inability to cook, either. Byungjoo had trusted you and you had let him down. His grades would surely suffer from your overconfidence.

The next couple of days passed by you as a blur. You hardly said a word despite Jiho and Byungjoo’s various attempts to cheer you up or, at the very least, get some sort of reaction out of you. Everything they tried ultimately failed, though.

When lunch rolled around, you found yourself sitting alone at the table. Neither boy could be found, but you didn’t even notice. As Jihoon entered the cafeteria, his eyes landed on you. With a furrowed brow, he quickly glanced around the room, but neither Jiho or Byungjoo were in the room. You never ate without them. Had you fought with them? He had noticed your change in attitude over the past few days, but since he didn’t actually know anyone in your circle, he had no way of knowing.

The chair next to you squeaked as he pulled it away from the table, sitting down on the hard plastic. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t cook.” You muttered, absentmindedly stirring your potatoes.

He was quiet for a moment, carefully thinking over his response. “Cooking isn’t for everyone. Even so, don’t give up. Whenever you feel like giving up, think about the reason you want to improve your cooking. Focus on that reason until you no longer have the desire to give up.” After saying his peace, he stood up and headed for his usual table.

You looked up as he walked away, feeling the fork slip out of your fingers in surprise. It was Jihoon! You let his words sink in before you felt a new wave of resolve come over you. With your new found energy, you sprung up, slamming your hands on the table. “I will learn how to cook!”

The other students looked at you like you were weird, disturbed by your sudden outburst. Jihoon hid his smile behind his hand, eyes following you as you rushed out of the cafeteria.

Most of your lunch period was spent searching for your two best friends. There were only ten minutes left when you finally found them talking to each other in the hallway. You ran up to them and threw your arms around their necks.

“I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting! I’m sorry I’m practically making you fail, Bjoo!

They exchanged a look of surprise but returned the embrace.

“What’s gotten into you?” Jiho questioned.

“Was it aliens – ow! What’d you hit me for?!”

“Because you’re an idiot and you’re ruining the mood.”

“You ruin the mood all the time!”

“Exactly. It’s my job to ruin the mood, not yours.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

You burst out laughing, wrapping your arms around your stomach. It felt good like you were releasing all of the negativity that had been hanging over you the past few days.

The pair smiled at you, happy that you were no longer sulking. Byungjoo waited for your laughter to die down before speaking, “We have a surprise for you.”

“Surprise?” You questioned, wiping away your tears.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period. Jiho wished you both good luck before you went your separate ways. Byungjoo was practically skipping to Home Ec and you were beginning to feel nervous. Was he going to get even with you for making him watch a horror movie?

The two of you were the last ones in the class before the bell and you caught Jihoon’s eyes. He sent you an encouraging smile, which you returned with a nervous one.

You went to take your seat, but the blonde shoved you into the chair next to Mingyu who offered you a kind smile. Byungjoo took his normal seat, but Jaebum was sitting next to him. Before you could question him, the teacher walked in and the lesson began.

As Mingyu started the day’s dish, he explained the situation. “Your friends explained your predicament to me and Jaebum. You like Jihoon, right?”

You startled, dropping the metal bowl that you were holding. You visibly winced as it bounced off the table and hit the floor, spinning for a few seconds before coming to a stop. With an apologetic glance to the teacher, you scurried away to grab the bowl, wanting nothing more than to hide from the watchful eyes of your classmates. The three boys surrounding you stifling their laughter. Not knowing the two that well, you turned to face Byungjoo with a scowl.

“I’m going to send you so many horror gifs!”

His laughter died immediately, his body tensing.

Mingyu chuckled, gaining your attention. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us. They were really concerned about you, you know?”

You watched him as he carefully measured the ingredients. “They’re idiots, but… they’re good guys. I feel bad for making them worry.”

He hummed, “In that case, you should make it up to them by doing your best. Even if you fail, you can look them in the eyes and say that you did your best without giving up.”

As his words sunk in, you smiled. “Thank you. Please teach me all you know!”

“That’s the spirit!” He grinned, rolling up his sleeves. “Let’s get to work, we have a lot to cover before the exam.”

“Yes, sir!”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

The next week you focused solely on food.

Reading cooking magazines, watching cooking programs, going through the notes Mingyu made you… you even went so far as to play flash games about cooking. There were several times that you wanted to give up, but you remembered both Jihoon and Mingyu’s encouraging words. It re-energized you and gave you the confidence to forge forward.

The day of the exam finally arrived.

Everyone in the class was tasked with creating a curry dish. Because it was a test, the students worked alone rather than in pairs. You were feeling extremely nervous, but your friends had sent good vibes to you before the test began. You did the best you could, using the knowledge Mingyu had instilled in you.

When it was your turn to be judged, everyone looked at you in surprise.

The curry looked completely normal, delicious even. The rules of the test were that the student was supposed to taste their own dish before the teacher, but you were feeling nervous because you had never tasted your own food before. You grabbed a spoonful of curry, trying to steady your shaking hand.

Hearing Byungjoo laughing at your nervousness, you made a split second decision. Whipping around, you shoved the spoon into his mouth only to freeze. It wasn’t Byungjoo standing behind you, it was Jihoon.

His skin turned deathly pale and the class swore that his soul had left him.

“Shit,” you cursed, watching as he stumbled out of the classroom, clutching his stomach. The class was silent.

“Go!” Mingyu whispered, pushing you forwards. You took off after him, finding him leaning against the wall for support.

Swallowing down your nerves, you gently took his arm and put it over your shoulder, helping the boy to the nurse’s office. After quickly explaining what had happened, the nurse gave him a liquid to settle his stomach before directing him to lie down on one of the beds.

You sat on the stool by his head, staring at your hands. You couldn’t dare look him in the eye after what you had done. “I am so sorry, Jihoon! I thought Bjoo was behind me and I… I’m so sorry!”

He took a deep breath, thinking over what he wanted to say. “What reason did you have for wanting to be a better cook? What’s your motivation?”

The question surprised you. “I… was trying to get someone’s attention…”

“Byungjoo?”

“Eh?” You finally lifted your eyes to meet his, surprised by the determination burning within their depths.

“You were trying to get Byungjoo’s attention, right?”

Your nose scrunched up in disgust, “Ew, no. He’s practically my brother.”

“Then who?” His brow furrowed. He had been sure that you were trying to impress the blonde.

“Oh my god! Why are these two so dense?!”

“Be quiet! You’re gonna get us caught!”

You exchanged a look with Jihoon before approaching the door. When you pulled it open, two boys fell through while Mingyu and Jiho stood behind them. The two on the floor were Byungjoo and one of Jihoon’s friends, Seungkwan.

Seungkwan pulled himself to his feet, huffing out in annoyance as he waved his arms dramatically. “You two are so frustrating!” He turned to you, pointing a finger at your face. “How do you feel about him?”

“I…” Biting your lip, you decided that you had already made a complete fool out of yourself already – you had nothing left to lose. Taking a breath to steel your nerves, you turned around to face Jihoon. “Do you remember that time in middle school? It was our second year and I was being bullied by some girls because of Jiho.”

“How is that my fault?!”

“Fangirls,” Byungjoo responded simply, throwing his arm around the boy.

You continued, ignoring their exchange. “We had never spoken before, but you still stood up for me. They stopped messing with me after that day… After that, I started to feel strange every time I looked at you. Whenever our eyes met, my heart would start racing. I found myself thinking about you whenever you weren’t around… Bjoo made me realize that I was crushing on you, but those feelings only got stronger as we got older. I originally joined Home Ec because of Bjoo… I guess I can see why you’d think that I liked him, but I started taking cooking seriously because I wanted you to notice me!” Your cheeks were burning and you felt yourself shaking a bit, but you felt so much lighter now that you had gotten everything off your chest.

Your two idiots started clapping proudly, wiping away invisible tears from their eyes. They were moved by your bravery.

Jihoon was silent for a good minute before he pushed himself into a sitting position. “Come here, Y/N.”

You glanced back at your friends for encouragement, receiving a thumbs up from both of them. You slowly approached his side.

He gently grasped the collar of your shirt, tugging you down until your lips connected with his own. At that moment, everything else disappeared. He was the only thing in your world and it felt amazing. You smiled as he pulled away, his lips ghosting over yours as he spoke, “I’ve liked you since our first year of middle school.”

“Finally! Jeez,” Seungkwan sighed as he left the nurse’s office, muttering to himself about how much of a pain you both were.

You rubbed the back of your neck, smiling sheepishly at him. “I’m sorry for poisoning you…”

Jihoon chuckled, “It was worth it.”

Little flecks of white started to rain down on you both, courtesy of Byungjoo and Jiho who had shredded up some paper and were currently tossing it at you.

“Boys! Stop making a mess!” The nurse scolded them, ordering the pair to stay after school to clean up the mess they had made.

As you watched them being scolded, you felt Jihoon wrap his arm around your waist and lean against you. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to you. The boy you had been chasing for so long was finally yours, and you were finally his. All it took was serving him some disgusting food that nearly killed him. It was like a fairytale at that moment –

“So, are we not gonna talk about how you were trying to poison me?”

“What did I say about ruining the mood?”

“I don’t see your name on it.”

“You don’t see – are you five?!”

You giggled at their argument, reaching down to place a chaste kiss on Jihoon’s lips. “Welcome to the family~”

“Great, more idiots to deal with.”

“Hey!”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[benverlesbians]

your kin boy richie

oh HERE we go!!!

1. he’s a piscean man so he automatically has NO rights

2. he screwed his highkey iconic taste in men stats by crushing on NOT ONLY the saddest 80s miniseries mini eddie knockoff because of fuckign STREET FIGHTER, but like. being dumb enough to not even know that he was related to bowers. u got a crush on this boy bc he kicked your ass at fucking street fighter and you havent even had a conversation? did u even know his name??? stop coopting lesbian culture!!!!!

3. and ANOTHER thing!!!! he acted like the losers fighting was him getting dumped and he goes on a pubescent gay rebound with the ABSOLUTe worst option, and then pulls some sad little self-flagellatory “im in love with my best friend who’s mad at me right now and a symbol of how cisheteronormative masculine expectations are crushing me, a gay child in a small town in the 80s, just tried to kill me in public, so now i’m gonna carve our initials into the kissing bridge in defiance of the universe and in hopes that someday it’ll mean what it looks like it should and that’ll be okay and we’ll be friends again” ritual??? bitch???? 

4. his tunnel vision is soooooooooooo blatant like babe. baby boy. you’re not subtle. *almost gets eaten by spider-stan* “Eddie? baby? you okay?” *is under attack by fortune cookies and on the opposite side of the room as eddie, who is being defended by BEN who would NEVEr let anything bad happen to him* “EDDIE!!!! EDDIEEEE!!!!!” like shut up you are so LOUD

5. the tenderness of him cupping eddie’s cheek v. the dick move of it being his stab wound cheek… he has a neck! he has another cheek! don’t go slapping his stab wounds!

6. like im still mad about That Scene but like. that was a thr*ugh and thr*ugh st*b w*und and you need to apply pressure on both sides…. logically the only way to s*ve his l*fe would’ve been a hug and it’s stupid that they didn’t let that happen. also like. if all the living losers have to be in the circle to kill It why the FUCK didn’t he either a) stay with his man and kill the clown from afar or b) carry him in?!?! hello?!?! support your childhood sweetheart AND your friends’ clown-killing agenda simultaneously. 

7. he flirts via insults because that’s how he shows he’s paying attention and it only works on eddie bc he does the same thing MEANWHILE he flirts with poor sweet lesbian ben bc ben’s ripped as shit and jacked as fuck by... like he STARTS OUT being mildly offensive and then he just gets real gay and its like “oh okay so you do have social skills you just turn them off because you only absorb the ATTENTION part of NEGATIVE ATTENTION if you have feelings for the attentee got it”

8. stop MONOLOGUING not everything is an opportunity to make a JOKE just fucking THROW THE ROCK!!! if i were going to throw a rock at an evil clown demon’s face to try and injure it and save my friends, i would simply not get caught in the deadlights while making a pop culture reference. rip to richie tozier but i’m different

BONUS DRAG: just bc as an adult you make your hair straight doesn’t mean you can make your you straight or make anyone think you are!

[eternalmemes]

𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ! ( season two,  part three )

❛ why do i feel like we keep having this conversation ? ❜ ❛ i’ll do your job for you,  you take all the personal days you want. ❜ ❛ it’s not like we sit around talking about crime. ❜ ❛ we are on a secret mission. ❜ ❛ this takes family night to a whole new level. ❜ ❛ come on princess,  stop worrying about your manicure. ❜ ❛ go home.  take a long shower.  wash all that noise down the drain. ❜ ❛ the stupid thing is,  i can’t live without her. ❜ ❛ oy,  yoy,  yoy,  what happened ? ❜ ❛ that is not oil,  but you must know that,  right ? ❜ ❛ why don’t you sit down ? ❜ ❛ oh.  you think ‘cause you all have guns that you’re in charge ?  that’s adorable. ❜ ❛ see all this goes away the second you disrespect me. ❜ ❛ so what do you wanna do here ? you wanna make it personal or you wanna keep it professional ? ❜ ❛ i’m sorry.  i tried to call you.  i was trying to text you. ❜ ❛ you have a yarn emergency ? ❜ ❛ no, no  -  he is not a child.  he is not a person.  he is a cat,  who would probably eat your face off if he didn’t have food for,  like,  five minutes. ❜ ❛ we got her this hilarious card that’s like ‘you’re not getting older, you’re just increasing your value!’ ❜ ❛ can i get a margarita ? um,  hold the lime juice and uh,  the triple sec,  and the sour mix.  yeah,  and can you put it in a shot glass and,  uh,  throw it on the birthday girl’s tab ?  thanks ! ❜ ❛ i’m not gonna have sex with you. ❜ ❛ yeah,  i know for some reason all this seems to scream that i’m real down to party,  but i’m actually just a regular person who’s trying to get real drunk.  i’ve had a week. ❜ ❛ won’t even let you drop a deuce on company time. ❜ ❛ just imagine,  if you will.  rounding up the saddest little losers on the entire planet.  perverts,  knuckle-draggers,  and rapists.  that is who they hire,  every time,  without fail. ❜ ❛ you’ve really got a whole  ‘i’ve thrown away everything in my life’  vibe. ❜ ❛ i really hate the way you’re speaking to me right now. ❜ ❛ how has it never occurred to you that what you’re doing is gonna come back and bite us in the ass ? ❜ ❛ we’ve gotta stop this guy. ❜ ❛ what do you think this is,  huh ?  some kind of hobby ? ❜ ❛ if you mess up at that,  you go to jail,  or you die. ❜ ❛ your traveling game is on point.  you’ve got your friends,  gummy bears,  what more do you need ? ❜ ❛ i’m really trying to give you your space but,  um,  gotta be honest,  it’s kind of killing me. ❜ ❛ if you’re just gonna torture me for the next six months,  i really think it’s better for both of us if i just cut my losses and move on ❜ ❛ for one,  you’ve got a great attitude,  and i feel like we could really use that school spirit around here. ❜ ❛ i just feel like i would have a lot less fun if you’re not here. ❜ ❛ why are you being so cool ? ❜ ❛ i do have one question,  though  -  what do you want ? ❜ ❛ this violates so many codes.  hr,  health,  morality.  and just common decency. ❜ ❛ i’m as low as it gets.  i’m disgusting.  i’m sewage.  you know how they drain it for fertilizer or whatever ?  i’m what they can’t use.  i’m the sewage so rancid they have to bury it a hundred miles in the earth and hope that nobody ever finds it  -  i’m that garbage. ❜ ❛ please,  just say something. ❜ ❛ but you thought about it.  i would never even think about it. ❜ ❛ i think i’m gonna have to teach you how to dirty talk because this  -  it’s not doing it for me. ❜ ❛ the more you know,  the less you’re gonna like,  okay ?  just trust me. ❜ ❛ i failed.  like capital F failed.  with flying colors. ❜ ❛ you gotta keep your head,  man. ❜ ❛ you can’t solve every problem by shooting someone in the face. ❜ ❛ the next time they come knocking  -  and they will,  ‘cause they know where you live,  and they know what you do  -  they’re just gonna want a cut of the action. ❜ ❛ they’re just gonna keep taking,  and taking,  until you’ve got nothing left. ❜ ❛ after she gave you a certain wedding ring that turned into two nights at the bellagio. ❜ ❛ we’ve known her for like ten thousand years,  you don’t just throw that away for almost. ❜ ❛ where are you going ?  you look like a cat burglar. ❜ ❛ she won’t let me call him,  she’s just pooping and screaming. ❜ ❛ you know what,  your vagina’s probably like way more destroyed than mine. ❜ ❛ hey,  you can do this,  okay ? ❜ ❛ hey,  what are you still doing here ? ❜ ❛ are you in love with your ex ? ❜ ❛ so,  do i even have a shot here ? ❜ ❛ so what,  you want me to carry you out like costner in the bodyguard ? ❜ ❛ again,  you are mad at me for something i did not do. ❜ ❛ i would choose you every time. ❜ ❛ honestly this whole thing makes me want to puke. ❜