#and the rest ive felt very meh about | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

suckishima · 6 months ago

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just got back from seeing it again with the crunchyroll subs!!

i enjoyed it much more this time! 1 the audience was much bigger (i saw literally one of the last days of eng subs in japan so there was like 2 other people there lol) so it was great to hear everyone laughing along with all the humor n stuff, and to hear people all talking about it afterwords, 2 the subtitles overall were more accurate and cohesive so that was good, and 3 just having seen it already and knowing which beats they were gonna focus on helped me to reframe the narrative in my mind of how they wanted/were able to portray the story in the runtime they had, rather than just me hoping to see specific parts

i could tell this time that whoever did the subs had actually seen haikyuu before bc certain lines and callbacks were referential of the original n stuff (if that makes sense lol)

but also, there were a few noticeable changes to the subs. they completely changed the "let's devour every last scrap off their bones" line from the manga to... "let's make a mess" LMAO which, if you couldnt guess, is a far less superior translation imo. and even though i dont know nearly enough japanese to know which one is technically more accurate, i do know that the devouring idea fits a whole lot more with the eating/hunger/omnivore themes of haikyuu and this movie in particular with cats v crows so, kinda hoping that'll get changed back to match the manga during streaming

and then i mentioned in my original post about there being new lines from kenma saying something like 'hinata has kageyama and i have kuroo' with hinata/kageyama practicing in the background while kenma rests and then when kenma says kuroos name it cuts to kuroo holding out his hand to help kenma stand up (i was vague about the visuals previously but w/e), yeah, thats not how its translated in the US crunchyroll version AT ALL. its just like, kenma talking more about how he feels about volleyball. no mentions of hinata, kageyama, or kuroo, it was kind of odd, felt like an entirely different sequence because of it and im wondering why they changed it. ive seen from people on twitter (kseniya @ triananero) who watches in og japanese no subs at all that in japanese the lines ARE kenma comparing the hinata/kageyama dynamic to his and kuroos so like. whyd they change it for US release?

smaller but notable to me lol is that tsukkis "hes always one step ahead of me" or "hes a man who walks ahead of me" was translated as "he's going to surpass me" which. very minor but i dont like it quuiiite as much as either of the manga translations bc it implies future rather that present or perpetual. like the whole point is that yamaguchi surpassed tsukki in coolness a long time ago, not that hes gonna do it right now. anyway lol that isnt a big deal, and im nitpicking i know

that whole moment gave me chills anyway, esp with the (s2??) music coming in once yamaguchi steps onto the court, so i really shouldnt complain haha

my gripes with the high five from the first watch still stand too, i wish it had more emphasis, and i DID pay attention to the flashback snapshots in their silhouettes this time and theyre there but... theyre drawn kinda meh....

im so torn about the chp 298 stuff haha bc it starts SUPER strong, its really really good when yamaguchi enters and his first two serves, but it kinda fizzles after that and i still wish tsukkis first smile in the match had more emphasis. the second one later during the 'master and student 2' sequence tho is great!! and the animation for the whole rally where its focused on tsukki and kuroo is siiiiiiiiick, probably my favorite rally of the match other than the pov sequence at the end (i want to make gifs nowwww)

moving on, theres this little bit where kuroo says something like 'may chibi-chan always be in good health" in reference to hinata being good motivation for kenma, and skjdhks idk what that line is in the manga originally but it got a good laugh out of me and i liked that change a lot

i forgot how feral suga is in this match lmao, it was really fun to hear the audience i was with consistently laugh whenever he was like screaming things lol

like every single joke landed for the theater i was in too, it was great. tendou just showed up on screen and someone gasped loll, and then everyone proceeded to laugh at every thing he said, as it should be

"what exactly is wrong with your no.10 over there" "sorry im not sure myself" was spot on perfect too, loved it

overall i had a good time!! for 1h25m its probably the best it could be, and i really appreciate how many little things they did manage to get in to the runtime

okay so i know i posted a few weeks ago that i did get to see the haikyuu movie when i was in japan last month and ive been so busy i didnt fully have time to process lol so ive been writing down thoughts as i remember them so, spoilers under the cut (no particular order)

final rally pov shot was craaaaazyyy (sidenote i saw challengers today lmao and they did a similar pov shot thing a couple times and it reminded me how sick it was to see such a complicated thing be animated)

in addition to that tho, while i liked the drop of the music then to just have it be kenmas breathing, i felt lie his breathing seemed a little repetitive?? like it was possibly just the same couple voice recordings repeated???

and also tbh.. i kinda didnt love how after the super amazing pov animation the way they chose to animate the full court flashback to tokyo training camp was just like a flat pan around the room. it just didnt feel all that dynamic after seeing something so cool, and maybe it was just my screening but the image was kinda blurry and not that crisp at that part

in general tho i thought the sound design was really cool, so much of it just straight up felt like a live match happening, and the part when kenma tells hinata to stay interesting and the sound cuts out?? ooo v effective i thought

and then the birdcaaaage aaaah i loved the way the wings like got all stifled in the cage when kenma first trapped him and then ofc the bursting out of it oooo im excited to see it again in imax

there were a tonnnn of small moments that i assumed wouldnt make the cut that actually did too, yaku sitting on lev's back when he's doing pushups, the bokuto/kuroo hair swap flashback lmaooo, goshiki having to share his ipad with tendou (i cant remember for sure now if he actually says that or not but theyre definitely in the movie), bokuto and akaashi coming over and talking to yachi and ah i think theres more. a lot of them were shortened down a bit, but i appreciated them getting attention nonetheless. sadly no kuroo/lev poop conversation though lmaoo

i thought the kuroo/kenma flashbacks were pretty good as well, i think they possibly added a few lines?? it seemed like there were more frames of stuff of kuroo being inspired by the "lowering the net" concept which was really cool bc thats really integral to his character to me. and then theres this line where kenma is like "hinata has kageyama and i have kuroo" and uhhhh that is news to me!! im like 90% thats new content lmao, and oooo it was good, the shots they chose with it too gooood

oh for some reason they changed how kenma flops??? he falls with his butt up in the air instead of just flat??? like why lmao, obviously that was like an Actual Choice they made bc they had to draw it and obviously had the manga as reference and it makes no difference other than to confuse me lolll

im interested to see it again distributed by crunchyroll too bc im sure some of the subs i saw werent right, a few lines just didnt make sense and there were a few instances of like "lead blocking"

and okay. i gotta talk about the chapter 298 stuff

its there its in the movie!! but,, it's watered down lmao

and i think i was also too in my head and overanalyzing it which im disappointed in myself for so im hoping on rewatch ill have a better time

the "hes always been one step ahead of me after all" was like as perfect as it could get tbh, it looks just like the manga and tsukki like says it just right and yamaguchi comes onto the court behind him totally focused and aaah really loved it. then the service ace and tsukkis little laugh it really good

but then i'm torn on the actual serve and block, there's no inner thoughts on yamaguchis "oh no the ball isnt drifting enough" and then tsukkis silent reply "no that was plenty" before stuffing it, so we arent hearing their like mind reading/intuition connection there which was a bummer. and thennnn im not positive on this bit but i dont think anyone repeats anything about the serve and block being the perfect play?? (its yamaguchi echoing ukai in the manga) and then no little flashbacks to how theyve been training

HOWEVER the big main flashbacks of seeing how yamaguchi walks from behind tsukki to in front of him are there!!! and the way theyre presented is interesting? i was like taken aback by the decision to have the clips being showed within their silhouettes as they move toward each other (i couldnt even tell thats what it was at first tbh..) that i missed whether or not all the panels were in it..... (majorly disappointed in myself for that one). idk visually i found it a little confusing i guess and so i couldnt fully appreciate and im hoping itll look cool on rewatch when i understand whats happening

and then the high five ahhh it was pretty good, idk if anything will ever live up to that manga panel for me, the joy and success and sense of achievement in that image means so much to me lol, but its animated fairly well. do wish they didnt cover tsukkis smile tho

then kuroo asks how tsukki feels about volleyball and he says its fun and he smiles and its.. fine. like ugh its just one of those things were this entiiiire section just slightly suffered from being a two minute segment of a movie instead of a whole episode (or even just half an episode tbh), like something about his smile and saying it was fun just fell a little flat for me and i was unfortunately a little sad about it, i was hoping for a little more buildup and like emphasis. this is a huuuuge culminating moment for him and it didnt quite feel like it to me bc the movie had to have other priorities where a season wouldnt have

later one when tsukki and kuroo are like battling at the net exhausted tho and tsukki smiles again that was pretty good, the animated is really top notch when theyre all panting n stuff, and the voice acting there was great, really liked it

#hq #garbage dump #x

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coollemonsaresour · 4 years ago

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Promising Hands

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Child reader x Romanrogers

Warnings: blood, Injured child, violence, angst, but fluff. THIS SUCKS, it was a rush job, and is not edited

Summary: One Red-head Russian, One Cool Ranch Dorito, and a mission that can change their lives forever.

Word count :1458

A/N: Spare me I have not written in awhile. this has been in my drafts i have just be to S H Y to post them. oh, and request are open.

Request?: NAH!!!!!!!!!!! DIS WAS ALLLLLL MEH . Spare me i have not written in awhile.

“Steve this floor is clear, I'm moving to Sub-level one.” The Russian spy said, pressing and releasing the button on her earpiece. “Okay, be careful.” She then rolled her eyes with a scoffed and pressed her earpiece. “When am I not?” She said, continuing down the flight of stairs. “I can think of a couple of times,” he said in a seductive voice. “You know what Rogers, I have work to do, you should do the same. “Whatever you say” she then turned “Mmhmm'' she said with her guns raised starting down a hallway. She then came in contact with two hydra agents but shot them down effortlessly, each three times. Head. Chest.Stomach. She then saw a light flicker in a room down the hallway with its’ door cracked open.

She walked down the hallway and pushed the door open with her gun ready for any danger. The room looked like a messy lab, things were everywhere, the computers were destroyed, chemicals and serums spilled on the table as if they were in a rush.

An agent then came behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck, making her drop her gun. Nat countered by elbowing him in his face and then kicking him in his chest through a glass table, then grabbed her gun. When he attempted to get up she shot him twice in the stomach.

She then heard a gasp and snapped her attention toward the sound raising her gun once more. She then slowly proceeds toward the table. She leaned over the table and looked under it to see a little girl about 3 or 4 with her knees curled up to her chest and her head buried in her crossed arms.

“Hello,” Natasha said in a calm and friendly tone, which is very unlikely for this assassin. The child then looked up and flinched trying to scoot back farther. When she backed against the wall, she snapped her focus back at the women.

Her e/c eyes were met with fiery red hair and emerald green eyes, which were comforting. She gasped when she saw Nat’s gun. “H-hey, it’s’ okay, I won’t hurt you,” Nat said, putting her gun into the holster. “What is your name?” She asked the girl “Y/n” the child responded barely above a whisper.”That is a beautiful name, I’m Natasha, now let's get you somewhere safe.”

“N-no more b-bad people?” The little girl asked, voice is full of insecurity. “No more bad people,” Nat said reassuringly. “You promise?” “I promise” “How can I trust you?” “We promise to protect you from bad men always, and if you give me your hand I promise to never let it go, Okay?” “Okay,”

At the moment, Nat knew that she was immediately attached to the wounded girl. What wounded girl!?! Nat was too distracted by the girl to realize the blood-soaked shirt and the growing crimson pool around the girl. Without hesitation, Nat grabbed the little girl and rushed out of the room. “ Hey Steve I found Hydra’s project and she needs medical help.” “She?... It’s a person?” “Yes and she needs medical evac, keep up Steve.”

The little girl wrapped her arms around Nat’s neck and her legs and her waist. When they got outside the little girl buried her face in Nat’s neck to avoid the blinding light in the sky that was unknown to her, Nat could help but think of how cute the sight was.

Nat felt the body go limp and started to run faster. When she reached the quinjet, Nat carefully laid the unconscious girl on the floor and then examined the little body. The little girls were very pale, hardly breathing, and had lost a lot of blood, multiple cut wounds, a very big and deep stab wound. It looked like someone tried to kill her, in the mist of their base being invaded.

Nat found a cloth and started applying pressure while Steve flew the jet as fast as he could. With one hand Nat tried to stop the bleeding, and in the other she held the child’s hand, keeping her promise.

When they arrived, Nat ran with the little girl straight to med bey, there she found Bruce, who was talking to Dr.Cho. “Hey Na- who is that?” he asked immediately getting a gurney. “Hydra’s project, and she needs help,” Nat stated, placing the girl on the bed, still holding her hand. “Bruce, help her please, she stopped breathing like a couple of seconds ago.” she said still holding the girl’s hand, following the gurney down the hall toward the O.R. when they reached the doors of the room nat was stopped by a nurse, the sudden action causing her to let go of the girl's hand.

“ No I have to stay with her.” she said, trying to push past the doctor.“ Ma’am you should let the doctors do their work.” the nurse said, trying to block the doorway. Nat was getting angry, and trust me you do not want to make Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow angry. “ No she needs me. I have-,” “Ma’am, please, listen to me-” “ NO! You listen to m-” “ Sorry nurse, I’ll take it from here” Steve said, cutting off Natasha and pushing her away from the door to a wall in the hallway.

“Steve, babe, no, I-i h-have to be in there, I-i need, i need to hold her hand,” Steve looked at her with a sad expression “She was scared, and I know what it is like at that age, when your in a situation you don’t want to, a-and have horrible people do bad things to you and make you do bad, bad things.” she stated with worry.

Steve gave her a small smile and then pulled her into a hug. He knew that she was referencing the red room, and how she hated what they did to kids at such a young age and how it was scarring. “Nat, everything will be fine,” he said, stroking her hair, all she did in response was give a nod. “Why don’t you go take a shower and get something to eat and come back down, and I will be here when they finish with her in the recovery room.” he said pulling away from the hug, she just nodded again and walked down the hall.

When Nat came back down to MedBay, (y/n) was out of o.r., and in recovery. She walked into the room to see the girl connect to all different monitors, an IV, and a breathing tube in her nose. Steve was asleep on the armchair next to the bed with one of his hands resting on top of one of the girl’s. That made Nat smile softly.

She was walking around the room reading Bruce's analysis, and that's when Steve woke up. “You look refreshed” he said stretching, his voice still groggy. “Yeah after showers, eating, and debrief, I was really tired, and took a cat nap,” she said, kissing his forehead. “How’s she doing?” Nat said, holding the girl's other hand. “M’kay, but my tummy hurts.” the girl said with a small smile, Nat and Steven happily returning it.

That a was 4 and half months ago

Y/n woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavy, and tears streaming down you face. A bad dream. The small girl got out of bed and walked down the hall. Three doors down, make a left, first door on the right.

Being the trained ex-assassin/spy she is, as soon at the door opens she lifted her head to see who it was. “Y/n, hun, why are you up?” she said concern taking over her face. “I had a bad dream” she whispered. “M’sorry babes, do you want to sleep with me and daddy,” she asked giving the little girl grabby hands. The girl gave a small smile, and nodded her head, walked over to Nat’s side of the bed and climbed in. the girl got under the blankets and and cuddle closer to Nat and she held you tight, and buried your face in her chest.

“я люблю тебя, детка” she planting a kiss to the girls forehead. “I love you too mama” the girl replied with a small yawn. Steve then rolled over, moving closer to the pair, wrapping a protective arm around Natasha and y/n.“ I love you y/n/n” he said. “I love you too daddy.” “My two favorite girls,” “Good night babe” he said to the redhead, giving her a kiss. “Good night baby.” she said, returning the kiss. “Good night y/n” they said at the same time, kissing your head. “Good night”.

я люблю тебя, детка~ I love you Baby

FIN

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 3 years ago

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Ig this would be the.. intro? I dunno. It's just gonna be a storyline of how I ended up here. I'm sorry that it's so long

I used to be mildly into benadryl when I was in middle school. I took it a few times for it's intended purpose not thinking nothing of it but then I started noticing I like the drowsiness of it

Which led me to taking some damn near everyday before school. It wasn't anything crazy. I think the most I did was 50 mg. But most days it was the basic ass 25

My parents started hiding our pills after I opened up about a suicide attempt in 8th and up until very recently, we had no medicine at our reach.

I guess I wasnt that addicted. I was slightly salty but I moved on pretty quick. And after a while, I looked back at that time like.. oh WOW uh. That coulda been a problem. Least I dodged it? 😅

Wrong.

I'm now 19 (was 18 when all this first went down tho). I went to visit my mom for Christmas and during the trip I got a bad sinus infection. Tho I didn't realize that was what it was. She ended up giving me some of my younger sisters benadryl. It was. So fucking gross. It was liquid and it was not as potent since it was for kids so I had to take what felt like gallons of it.

By the end of the trip she told me I could just take the rest cause she didn't need it really and I might have issues again from being around all those ppl again on my way back

I didnt really think nothing of it. I liked the feeling but I wasn't thinking about going to my old ways at the time

But there was this day that I was just bored. And I saw the bottle staring at me. And I was just like meh. Why not?

Which is what landed me here. I liked it so much. I decided to buy some tablets on my own so I could do it again. My best friend used to abuse dph so she was casually telling me about some concoction she took that had her feeling nice and I decided I wanted to try it too

It hit me hard those first few times. I was taking random doses with loads of Tylenol. I couldn't tell you how much I took half the time. I would just be dancing around my room, chugging whatever energy drink i picked and taking em as I felt like it was starting to taper some.

Those first few times were. Very weird. My memory was so bad I was forgetting things mid thought/sentence. I had a really hard time talking to my bsf when I was gone off it. My vision wss lowkey blurry and I would be thinking about something and forget that I'm just THINKING it and it's not actually happening and by the time I look back down, ive texted her some nonsense

She used to find it funny tbh. She did warn me against using Tylenol frequently as she fucked her liver at the ripe age of 17 abusing that. So I decided to stop mixing and just focus on benadryl and monsters. Then I started to run out of money for energy drinks so I decided to just up my dosages so I'd feel good off of benadryl alone

I think by this point I started taking... 500? Damn near everyday. Once it was nighttime, I would get high. Unless I didn't feel like it or I forgot, I was high

I used to doordash it to me so my parents wouldn't get suspicious about me going places and only walking out with pills and drinks. But I quickly ran through sm money doing that. Doordash is expensive as is but after a point the packs I was buying would last all of a day or two.

By the time this was going on it was still all jokes and I still felt like I wasn't doing any harm. And she didn't either. We both got high together at one point. We just talked and did our thing til we passed out on vc. I believe this was around... February?

This is gonna seem random but. You remember how I said I visited my mom for Christmas? I got there by flight. But in order to get a cheap ticket I had to sit around and wait for my next flight. There was like... 10 hours of downtime. At the time, me and my best friend didn't talk for that that long. We'd play games together and vc, but usually once we got bored we'd talk for a bit more and say our goodbyes. But this layover junk had me scared. 10 hours is a long ass time. Someone could snatch me up or rob me. I dunno. I guess I was being paranoid

But I asked her one day if she minded staying on vc with me during it. And to my surprise she said yeah. I tried to warn her and shake her off the day of. She seemed sleepy and I was honestly nervous to be talking to her for that long. I thought she'd get bored and just be mad that she agreed

I've always been really antsy and was always worried about people being annoyed by how quiet I am. So I usually overcompensate. But with everything going on, I really couldn't keep up the bubbly thing for that long. I think by hour 4 I was done. My thighs stung from me wearing these jeans I had to pull up every 5 seconds, I was hungry but I didn't wanna eat in her ear, and I was really sleepy.

But even with all that said, it ended up being.. so fun. I wasn't even doing anything particularly interesting. But that's honestly what made it fun. Being on the phone with her taught me what comfortable silence felt like. It was... really nice to have someone I didn't have to worry about doing all that for. She didn't act any different towards me whether I'm on 1000% or being a hermit. She said she'd be there and she was determined to be there.

And while I didn't realize it at the time, I now see that day as when I fell for her. It iss. Kinda weird to think about now. To sum up the rest, we started talking way more; to a point where we were on vc for days and days at a time and we could go hours talking about whatever. Our families started to be familiar with us, to a point where they felt comfortable talking to me and vice versa. Those few months were amazing really

But ofc. All good things must come to an end. I didn't really realize it but she started catching feels as well. But, her girlfriend broke up with her. I guess its fair. We were always talking and shed forget to text her back being busy doing shit with me. She actually said she felt the same way towards me. But she decided that she should be focusing on fixing/proving herself to girlfriend even if that meant ignoring what all happened between us.

It still stings a lot. But at the time?? It was. A huge shock. I already was kinda letting go entirely in front of her. It had gotten to the point where we were always on the phone. So having her just like. Hey yeah I did say I love you and I do, but I love my girlfriend more so we can't talk like that anymore. I was sobbing. I didn't understand what I should do. How could she literally sit there and do all that and just.. boom yeah no more of that. I enjoyed it and you enjoyed it but we can't. I can't lose her

I felt so pathetic and I just wanted to stop thinking about it. Which led me to try to forget it with dph. And it didn't work. At all. I was still scream crying into my bed wishing I could go back to the not so complicated times of before. We were just existing. Enjoying each others company and doing what we felt like. But now, I have to worry about stepping on toes and being conscious of how often we speak cause her girlfriend will get upset if we talk too often

I couldn't even blame the gf tbh. It was completely fair for her to be upset. Which made it feel.. so much worse. I didn't know who to be mad at

And i just.. couldn't figure it out. So I kept going to dph. It got to a point where it wasn't even helping much. It just felt routine. This all went down late february/early march and between now and then, I was almost never sober. I'd stop for at most a few days. Then I'd start crying or something and go back. Not even entirely cause of her anymore. Just everything. I was so fragile. Anything that even mildly irritated me would make me want dph. Plus, it didn't help that I have been genuinely haviing big issues going on anyway.

Before all this went down, I failed a course and lost a scholarship that was the only reason I could afford the in the first place. So I dropped out. Or tried to. My uni's semesters were structured where there was 3 months of school and 3 months of work but none of their job opportunities were close enough to be feasible. So I technically was in school but.. not? I dropped out late february. And after a while of slow back and forth about that, by the time they finally let me out the school, they decided to drop the bombshell that the charges on my account were not for the winter 2022 term, they were from the fall. I'm assuming it's payment for the lost scholarship but I now owe them nearly 7k and they won't give me my transcript until I clear that.

I already had to borrow money anyway so I now owe... 22k? I believe? From one singular semester.

That all coming together is what made me spiral. I had learned that all about late april and I only had a week left to turn in my application for my next school. But now? No chance. I don't have 7k lying around so I can't prove I went to school. So i'm fucked. Least til Summer term

But, I think I'll be on the hook for my student loan soon. I haven't been in school since January. So it just. piled up. I never wanted to be here anyway and now I'm going to be stuck slaving working off my debt for something I was never really that interested in.

I was constantly high around this time. I'd usually wait til nighttime but then? I couldn't stand to be with my thoughts period. I was taking 600 and up everyday. Sleeping whenever and waking up, taking more, then going back to sleep.

Towards the end of this months long streak, I was planning on killing myself. I saw that if the student dies, loan debt would be cleared and I figured my uni wouldn't be pressed enough to hound the family of a dead ex student over 7k. I had it all prepared and everything and I was fully ready. I had bought a 1000 pill bottle of dph a little bit before all the stuff between me and my best friend went down and I still had plenty. I had gotten used to taking grams and up atp as well. So I figured all I had to do is take a few grams and wait.

But, I tried to give my best friend a heads up as in the past, I said I would. I didn't want to lie even if that did mean scaring her for the moment. I didn't say it outright. I was just being real ominous and telling her to find someone cooler if I take too long to be online again and shit. But omg.. It stung so hard to see how scared she was. I thought I was doing her a favor for letting her know that I possibly wouldn't be around but she was so fucking scared. And I felt horrible for it. Ofc, I know that is better than hitting her blind and lying. But yeah.

I couldn't go through with it though. There was so many times where I was going to but I was dreading not speaking to her. I hated ignoring her. And I just started thinking on if I survived. I'd have so much to explain to my parents. Plus, they'd be babying me for however long they end up doing that this time and they'd be watching me for a bit. I wouldn't be able to get high for a looooong time if I get caught

So I just. Stayed. Not really cause I want to but cause I don't want to deal with the consequences of me not staying. And in the meantime I got even more fucked off dph. I was getting to a point where I could barely feel anything below 300mg and I'd for the most part being taking shit in the 750-1k range. I think the highest I've gone was 1.25k? I dunno

But it got... really old. After you get into super high dosages the dry mouth thing turns into a lot more than just dry mouth. It became routine to be using eye drops 24/7 just to read texts cause my eyes were so dry they were making everything blurry. I'd feel so sick and sleepy for days after. And I was always so fucking thirsty.

So I tried to replace it with other shit. I tried to get back into dxm. I really liked it and that one time me and my best friend got high on it together made me chase that same feeling for a good while before I gave up on it and got back to dph. I tried to get back into it recently but swallowing all those damn pills is just. Too much. I tried delta 8. She really harped on it being good and she seems to really like smoking but for me? Delta 8 wasn't nearly strong enough for me to consider it a replacement to dph. I'd sit there and smoke all day and feel slightly different. It ended up getting used solely as a booster for when I took dph.

And that about brings us to now. I've gone a week here and there "quitting" benadryl but. I always circle back. I get really shaky and moody when I withdraw cold turkey so recently when I did it I made sure to taper instead. And it worked... relatively well. I was still was more irritable than usual but I wasn't ticcing so. Good enough

Uh is that offensive to say? I dunno. It's the firdt thing that came to mind. The first time I did it I kept jerking my head to left and I did it so much my neck was burning and cramping. I couldn't stop it unless I was in front of others out of fear of getting caught and even that was only to an extent. I couldn't control it at all and I couldn't sleep for 3 days cause my head just kept on jerking

I thought I'd be done for good after that last one tbh. But I was going to try dxm again cause I was falling off the deep end again and I wanted benadryl but I figured dxm would be a good replacement for the time being as I already had enough for 3rd plat on deck and I really don't have the money to buy anything else. So I took my usual nausea concoction so I won't puke up all the pills. 3 pepto bismol pills and a small amount of benadryl.

What I wasn't thinking of, however, is that my tolerance had greatly lowered since I wasn't taking high ass doses 24/7. at the time I was doing dxm regularly I was use to half grams of dph so 150 was really nothing

But that wasn't the case. I was waiting for the benadryl to kick in so that I'd know when I was good to get going with taking all 80 million of the damn dxm pills. But once the dph kicked in.. I really wasn't thinking about dxm anymore. It felt so good. I missed it sm.

I am. Kinda sad that I'm back to it. As I'm writing this I'm off a 3pm 200mg dose. It's really just the remnants atp but better than nothing ig. I've been trying to keep my doses as small as I can. But with that, I've been a lot more comfortable being high throughout the day so ig it aint that much of an improvement. It's gotten to the point where I'll take it when I'm out and about as well. I was just at the mall bout to pass out cause I decided to take some while I was there.

I just. I dunno. It just feels right atp. I'm so fucking sad all the damn time and this at least diverts my focus. I don't have to be sad about what a failure I've become. I can just focus on being sad about how sick I feel or how much I hate being dependent on allergy medicine. And people don't realize it but they prefer me high. I swear. Within the week I was off it I was told I looked sickly, depressed, and I bummed out my best friend a multitude of times.

I'm less self-conscious on it. I'm just so focused on staying up that it takes more effort for that sort of thing to poke through. So it usually doesn't. 99% of the pictures I take are when I'm high and everyone has been really glad I'm "getting out my shell" I've never been huge on pictures but. lol.

I've never really had too much off the hallucinatory effects benadryl is popular for. Ofc, I've had my moments towards the beginning but nowadays? Never. Unless I nap on it I'm pretty much normal. When I sleep uh. it gets fuzzy ngl. But all the shit about like. Hatman, static, spiders? Never. I just daydream more vividly and I do gotta put in the effort to not forget that's all they are. Plus, it makes music so much better. It's so nice to be able to listen to a song cause I like it rather than to drown out my thoughts. It makes all the basic shit just. Feel good.

Though, I know I need to stop at some point. I'm constantly dehydrated and I'm going to build a tolerance again. I've been good about not going over 200 lately but give it a week and I'm sure something's going to upset me to where I go over that

I'm going to use this page to go into specifics about my habit cause now that she's concerned about it, I don't want to talk to her on it more than I have to. So that will include, thoughts and feelings and possibly symptoms if I'm feeling up for it. It's mostly for me to keep track but if anyone wants to watch feel free.

Though, I'll say this much. If you are going to try and talk me out of it, don't. Not saying it like that but. I know what I'm doing is harmful. I already have an ulcer off the mere 5 months I've been doing this and my heart does it's own thing at times. And to the droves of ppl that love to scream oH sMoKe iNsTeAd!1!11! or jUsT dO dXm!!!1!!111!! pay for it and I will. til I can afford to casually drop the money to buy bottle after bottle of pills for dxm or the copious amounts of weed I'd need to replace dph, I'm just gonna do me and try my best. Sorry if that ain't good enough for yall as well.

#dph #benadryl #dph addiction #recovery?#vent #excessively long

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kaz11283 · 4 years ago

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I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki avengers #loki daily #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki request #loki masterlist #loki x you #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki x y/n #loki friggason

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crispybingusbongus · 3 years ago

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twd 11x04 (spoiler warning)

hello im back on my bullshit. anyway, imma admit i didnt rly like this episode as much as the rest of season 11. it was definitely one of twd’s notorious filler episodes. it gave us some background on the reapers but we still dont know why they are after maggie and why they are so evil (but im sure the writers are building up to that)

first off, as much as i love daryl dixon, did we really need a whole episode dedicated to him? i feel like he cant carry episodes on his own. a lot of daryl-centric episodes end up feeling boring to me. which doesnt make me excited for the spin off :(. how many times are we going to see daryl get kidnapped, tortured and come out victorious against the evil groups? this happens every season. seeing him get waterboarded still hurt tho :(

leah being a reaper...ngl that wasnt a surprise to me since the trailer spoiled it. but it was still cool! shes a badass and hot. but also, i just dont care about leah?? she came out of nowhere and formed a relationship with daryl (most of which we didnt see) and now it feels like im supposed to care about her because shes daryls girlfriend. shes just...boring to me. idc who daryl ends up with (as long as its age appropriate) but ill also be kinda disappointed if its leah. shes just kinda...meh

the reapers were cool. ik people felt underwhelmed that there were only 15 (or 14 now) of them but i think that just proves how ruthless and powerful they are. such a small group was able to wipe out 2 communities along with murdering maggies entire group. they are formidable and terrifying. what i did find underwhelming was their predictable and boring storyline (so far). its season 11, can we get a villain that feels different? pope just feels like negan 2.0. i predicted him yeeting that guy into the fire from a mile away.

relating to that last point, did pope killing that guy make no sense to anyone else? their group is already small and he made it very clear that they are a family (which was his reasoning behind throwing that guy). it could be the pope on a dark path. we dont know his character but from how the other reapers reacted, thats the first time hes done something like that, or at least in a long time. also pretty sure that guy he killed was the one who hurt alden and after, maggie threw a knife at him. if so, he literally didnt even turn his back on his friend. smh

sry if this rant thing seemed super negative. one boring episode doesnt change the fact that ive rly liked s11 so far and im excited for more. i just wish that twd would be different and new with its storylines and villains. the reapers still have the potential to be scary and interesting villains but so far all ive gotten from this episode is that they are the predictable crazy religious cult with a crazy and conveniently evil leader. personally, instead of daryl i wouldve liked to see gabe meet this group. i get that daryl is the face of the show, but i wouldve liked to see some other character interact with the reapers.

also dog cant die i will literally quit this show if he does /j

#twd #the walking dead spoilers #daryl dixon #twd leah #twd reapers #ep 5 promo looked so good tho haha

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blundergato · 3 years ago

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ive finished the chimera ant arc in HxH

christ that was LONG. just for reference, this arc is long as the ENTIRETY of the namek saga from the original 291 episode run of DBZ, from right before they landed on namek to after freeza’s death and the beginning of the garlic jr saga.

this one arc is actually longer than the first 3 arcs of HxH combined.

now, the namek saga is often maligned for being pretty f**kin’ long and it is, especially since the original run has a metric shitload of filler. but also, A LOT of shit happens in that arc, from the dragon ball chase, to the ginyu force, to the desperate battle with freeza to the unveiling of the legendary super saiyan. theres actually quite a bit going on.

the chimera ant arc has no filler but also moves at an ungodly slow pace. the arc would hit you with some intense moments, then immediately slow to a crawl for a few episodes the worst offenders being when the show took 4 episodes to explain what happened in a 2 minute window to the incredibly annoying hide and seek game that lasted a couple of episodes that happened AFTER maybe the big emotional moment of the arc involving gon.

outside of the slow pace of things...honestly not that much happens in the arc after the initial wave. its like a ton of setup leading to a lot of really boring nonsense sprinkled with some good payoff.

spoilers

the good:

Neferpitou - what an incredible villain. their introduction may go down as one of my favorite villain intros ever. thats one of the few times i actually felt stressed out over a villains debut. they truly felt menacing. unfortunately, they get kind of squandered during the big battle before being fed to Gon’s character moment. kind of sucks, but, damn they were good.

Reina - Hated watching those deaths, but the final episode reunion hit me harder than anything else in this arc. I legit shed some tears.

Morel and Knuckle- The guy who controls smoke rules and his powers are f**kin’ awesome. he also ends up kind of doing f**k all during the big battle though. Same goes for Knuckle, but Knuckle is a great character

Kite - Kite was cool as hell.

BISCUIT KREUGER - she wasnt in it for very long, but shes one of my favorites so im putting her here.

KOMUGI - what a fantastic character. didn’t really make me care about meruem that much, but she was awesome.

the sorta meh:

Gon and Killua - it sort of felt like Gon and Killua took a backseat to everything else. Killua had his character moment which was decent, but also felt completely disconnected from the rest of the arc. Gon had his one really big moment, but even that was kind of whatever to me. I sort of enjoyed the emotional context behind it but it felt pretty extreme too. like it was Super Saiyan 2 Gohans personality change ramped up by a factor of 10.

the sucky:

The other 2 royal guards - These guys just sucked and I honestly thought they were really boring. they had bad designs and corny personalities. unfortunately, despite neferpitou being 100x more interesting both design wise and personality wise than these goofballs, these 2 got WAY more screen time and dialogue. they were a huge waste of time.

meruem - this guy sucked. his design was goofy and he was goofy. the scenes with komugi were cool but thats like 80% on komugi being so likable. meruem had the personality of cardboard and his ultimate character development was “uh, maybe some people are worth keeping alive and maybe i shouldnt kill kids and eat their brains.” at least the final scene with him and komugi was well done.

the minor chimera ants - i skipped through large portions of this garbage because i did not care. some of it was decent to good but they spent WAY too much time on some of these idiots only for them to get killed off within seconds.

ponzu’s death - this death was overly gratuitous for no reason. some might argue that it was to show the brutality of the ants, but literally we have seen them kill and eat people by this point. this death was disturbing and it led to absolutely nothing. i might also put pokkle’s death here too because it was maybe the most brutal death of the series, but it was used to show how ungodly evil neferpitou was.

meruem vs the old man - this fight was kind of trash and the ending to it was also trash. it came out of left field just for the purpose of being “LOL HUMANS ARE BAD TOO, GET IT?!” neteru’s powers were REALLY cool, but ultimately pointless.

most of the fights - none of the fights were very good and most of them felt like padding or led to nothing. the characters plans for battle didnt work and the only reason they won was because someone nuked himself and the bad guys died of radiation poisoning. the fights were just there to waste time and they went on for FAR too long.

the narrator - i read that some people liked the narrator EXPLAINING 80% OF WHATS HAPPENING ON SCREEN but i hated it and found it extremely irritating. almost nothing on screen was complicated enough to warrant so much explanation. it was like xenogears disc 2 but instead of an overly complicated plot about religion and identity throughout time, it was a simplistic plot about what it means to be human or whatever.

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somekeepsakes · 5 years ago

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Libs in Luxembourg, 17/11/19

So here's a few unreflected thoughts and memories which have yet to fully sink in:

The show was off to a great start thanks to AmyJo and her band. I didn't expect them to be that great - I had only heard some bits of her music before but their set was fantastic and she's such a hilarious person whose positivity is contagious. Going out on a limb with this but I don't think you'll find a better support act on the tour than this one. The second one were The DSM IV which were partly alright, partly meh and then... nothing much happened for what felt like an eternity...

...which didn't help the mixed feelings I had about this entire thing given the tense atmosphere the videos from their last shows evoked plus the arrests. They were supposed to start their set at 9.10 pm. Last time I checked my watch was at 9.45, I stopped paying attention to the time after that so I guess they finally appeared around or shortly after 10 pm. They started their AFDY-heavy set (at least in the beginning) with Heart of the Matter. The crowd was pretty wild right from the start which wasn't all that good since some creepy guys from the back made their way to the front and one of them tried to harass the girl next to me at one point.

The band didn't seem tense at all - Peter in particular was pretty cheerful, he and Carl talked a bit between songs, sadly the audience was so loud that you couldn't understand much of it. Carl gave him a little kiss during the second half of the show and Peter hugged him in return. Also Peter seemed a bit sad when he learned that there wasn't much time left (my lad, if you'd found your way to the stage a bit earlier.....) so he said that there are only twelve minutes left (in German) and later on - when there were only four minutes left - he pointed it out again and said they would pull the plug on them if they continued playing.

John smiled several times, mostly reacting to people shouting "love you, John!". For the rest of the time, his usual stoic self was on display and tbh that makes him by far the coolest person in this band.

At one point, someone threw a flower-crown hairband on stage. Peter picked it up, wore it for a few seconds and then made John wear it who passed it on to Gary.

For the very short encore, Narco made an appearance as well. I'm not a fan of the dogs on stage since it has to be an ear-shattering experience for them but she didn't really seem to mind much (maybe she's deaf already as she didn't pay any attention to Peter after the show outside the venue when he was chasing after her calling "Narco! Narcolini!" - either that, bad parenting on his side or a bit of both). Anyway, Peter ushered her off stage after she had licked his face a few times and they continued with the show. And a sigh of relief for their techs - he gave them a break by not destroying any mic stands that night.

Shortly after it was over, I met AmyJo mostly by accident as I spotted her at the side when everyone was leaving. She drew me a little heart on my arm and seemed genuinely happy when I told her how much I enjoyed their set. Her brother appeared at a later time outside the venue, making his way through the fans waiting there. Some of them wanted to take a picture with him but he excused himself and said he had to find Narco first but would come back. Gary, John and Carl had left by this point, don't know whether anyone met them but when I got outside, they were gone already. Peter reappeared after a long time, this time accompanied by Narco just to go back in again shortly afterwards. When he left the venue for good, he didn't have much time as a van was already waiting for him but he stopped for a moment to take pics with some of the people and from what I've noticed, he was very nice to all of them ("always a pleasure, never a chore" - as he put it). He also looked really well that night.

#The Libertines #Pete Doherty #Gary Powell #Carl Barât #John Hassall

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deathboundinautumn · 4 years ago

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Meme.

Mun & Muse

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: @foxcharmed (ily) tagging: oof this is a longer one so ima tag only a few people @rock-you-like-a-hurricxne, @niflheimqueen, @tacitusauxilium, @finalhxaven, @dxfiedfxte, and anyone who wants to do it, steal it from me (I wont tell if you dont ;) )

MY MUSE IS: canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM? YES? / NO. (I’m not entirely sure? I know he’s generally well-liked in the fandom)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM? YES / NO / IDK. (I’m pretty sure people think he is)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM? YES / NO / IDK. (Yeah he's pretty fucking strong, just most people dont use him because you only have him for like a month :/ )

ARE THEY UNDERRATED? YES / NO / IDK. (I wouldn’t say they are. I mean the persona 3 fandom is already small as it is and everyone seems to like him so)

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY? YES / NO

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (In vanilla game not as much but in other mediums that tell the story (which are also canon) yes they are)

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD? YES / NO. (just a homeless orphan)

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (Depends on who you ask. The other members of the Senpai squad would say he’s the goodest boy. But others call him a criminal/vagrant/troublemaker and all sorts of things. Shinji prefers his reputation to be leaning towards the bad side as he’s more likely to be left alone that way)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? — I have a very very hard time breaking canon. The big thing being his fate on Oct 4th, its very hard for me to not honor that. I like that his story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. I like how his sacrifice impacts the rest of the group. I try to honor that this is what the character wanted and by not letting him have it that im cheapening his sacrifice. That being said I do have my own headcanons about things but I would say theyre hardly canon divergent.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — -pulls out homeless son from the dumpster- look at him, look at this burnt cinnamon roll. He may be just a grumpy ol sour-puss but deep down there’s a heart of gold that can’t help but shine through. Despite his reputation, my boy is wholesome and caring who will always go out of his way to help those in need even if he’ll deny it every time. Just because he’s crunchy on the outside doesnt mean he aint soft on the inside. -tosses him back in the dumpster-

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — Boy I sure hope you like building character relationships at a snails pace because hoo boy is it gonna take a long ass time for you to get anywhere with this boy. Opening up? What’s that? How to do? He doesn’t want to get to know you or your muse. He just wants to be left alone so he can die in peace. Don’t bother him.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? — I dunno. I replayed Persona 3 and just really really liked him. Been in the RP game for a few years at that point and decided, meh fuck it. If I don’t like it, I’ll just delete.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? — His struggle is something I hold very near to me and really cut me deep and still does. Also all of you who think of me and wanna do things with me and my interpretation of Shinjiro <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (I believe that I do/am very confident in my portrayal)

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS? YES / NO / SORT OF? (I think about them alot but seldom write them down. Maybe I’ll start since Im actually starting to use tags to organize stuff)

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES? YES / NO (Yep yep yep. Somethings start as drabbles that make it into the thread (-cough the flashback of Mitsuru leaving the dorms in a thread I have going with @niflheimqueen-))

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY? YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL? YES / NO / SORT OF? (tons of praise throughout the year from the community has made me confident that my portrayal is well-liked)

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING? YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. (sometimes when I’m on, I’m on. Other times I look at my writing and am just like ‘dude find a different hobby’ but I keep on keeping on and the highs have been way better than any low ive gone through.

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON? YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? — Aye if its constructive hit me. But if you’re just hating then that’s not much use to me.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? — Fuck me up with this shit

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — Sure, though I haven’t really had that happen before

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? — Live and let live. Throughout the years there have been other Shinji’s out there who’s interpretation I’ve looked at and been like ‘nah this aint it chief’ but hey you know what’s real easy to do? Not give a shit, live and let live. So if someone didn’t agree with it, I wowuldn’t much care if they liked it or didn’t its my interpretation and if they have a problem with it and make a point to come at me about it in a way that isn’t constructive then I’d say they have the bigger problem.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — I’d be sad because he’s a good boy. But again, if you really dont like him that much you don’t have to interact :’)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? — Ye, I make em a lot sometimes (especially if Im tired or something else).

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? — I think so? I haven’t been told that I’m not easy going and I’ve always felt very approachable. I don’t always respond to dm’s but that’s because sometimes I’m busy but im always down to talk ooc. It’s fun :’)

#thanks again ilysm <3333 #I almost lost this but im glad i didn't it was fun

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nekokoaa · 6 years ago

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Wolves Among Us - Bakugo x Reader (VI)

Wolves Among Us – Bakugo x Reader

Series Warnings: Fantasy AU, Fluff, NSFW

(Chapter VI/XX)

I'm a little sleepy and in need for a nap so if the words are a little wonky sounding then that's why lol I'll come back to edit it of course! Enjoy, loves!

(Chapter I) (Chapter II) (Chapter III) (Chapter IV) (Chapter V) (Chapter VI) ((ALL CHAPTERS ARE IN MY MASTERLIST))

Taglist: (If you ever want to get added, just tell meh)

@freedom-for-bum @reallyfuckingangrylatina @risarisarisaa @ashherssss @mels-heart @xa-dia @shanty-lol

Inspired by The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter

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VI:

Their taunting laughs made your stomach turn. Men in all shapes and sizes, ranging in various colors from the fairest snow to the rich darkness of the night, surrounded you in a heartbeat. They beat their axes in their rough hands, the repeated impact of the wooden handle against their palms sounded like the ticking of a clock. You had thrown yourself over Katsuki’s limp body to shield him from their eyes, although it was quite useless because they were well aware of the wolf they had caught. As you looked through their faces, you had recognized some. You had seen their sadistic smirks and ugly mugs around the marketplace near the tavern where they would hang out in the front with a bottle of beer in their hands, loud in conversation as they talked about nothing but women and the latest kill they did of a wolf. Hunters were infamous around your village but was needed for whenever a wolf was spotted. Your people had no choice but to endure their presence and because of that hunters tended to be cocky and repulsive.

“Don’t touch him!” You screeched when one of them took a step forward, his smirk never fell and that same boot he used to step forward was thrusted into your side, the impact so immerse that it winded all the air out from your lungs and flung you until you landed in a pile of snow near a tree. The men laughed, one of them picking up Katsuki and throwing him over his shoulder.

“This the right wolf, ma’am?” He patted Katsuki on the back, turning slightly to the figure that walked out between the shrouded trees and into the flickering light of the torch. It brought the appearance of wrinkly eyes pronounced by the shadows, crowfeet that could be seen a mile away to where you could trace a map to it. That kind smile that you were often greeted with in the marketplace was nowhere to be found on her face. You couldn’t recognize her as there was nothing but pure anger emitting from her body.

“Yes, it is.” The shopkeeper that you usually went to buy meat from quickly scurried over to you, placing her hands on your shoulders to help you up. Once you found your balance you threw yourself away from her with your eyes gleaming with betrayal. You didn’t even bother to dust the snow off of your clothes.

“You did this…? Why?” You lost your voice for a moment due to the shock but slowly, you felt yourself getting consumed by anger. “Katsuki didn’t do anything! He means no harm!”

“Shush! Dear ____. We’re in the presence of the hunters. If you be quiet, maybe they’ll let your little affair go.” She held on to your forearms, and when she leaned closer, you tried to back away as you could slightly smell the decay coming from her teeth. “I saw your little fling in the forest last week. Izuku would be so upset if he hears about this.”

“If you saw us, then you know Katsuki is innocent!”

“Innocent or not… He’s still a monster. And that’s all he’ll ever be.” You ripped your arms away from her grip the second you had a chance. You rushed over to the man holding Katsuki, your hands into fists as you tried to beat on his chest. He laughed mockingly at you, using his free hand to shove you as hard as he could. You fell upon the snow again and instantly you were up, rushing at him.

“Stupid woman.” You heard one of them say, his face so full of amusement.

You couldn’t keep track of how many times the hunters had shoved you to the ground, but you knew you wouldn’t stop until Katsuki was safe in your arms again. You didn’t want to lose him, not when you just found out his feelings were mutual. You couldn’t logically think of a way out of this situation and somehow, you thought you have the strength of a million boars to handle these men.

“____, please!” The shopkeeper tried to restrain you, but you slipped from her and hurled towards the men. The desperate look in your eyes staring them down like prey.

“Put him down!!” You screamed. You could feel the tears start to blur your vision and the bitter cold immediately drying them and sticking to your eyelashes like glue. You ran at them with all you had, expecting to be pushed upon the snow again but surprisingly, the hunters froze as well as the shopkeeper. The sole sound of a howl had traveled through the dark skies…. But it wasn’t coming from the wolf that laid limply on the hunter’s shoulder but from the shadows.

The hunters instantly went on guard, clutching their axes and waving their torches around in order to reveal the lurking wolf. The whistling of the wind and the shallow breathing of men filled the silent spaces. The trees suddenly looked like they were caving in around you, their barks slightly bent as their branches shivered in the breeze. The shadows were crawling through the snow, not even the flickering torch in the hands of the hunter was spared from the darkness.

It ignited all at once. The flash of red, the torch falling upon the snow, the chilling screams of the man holding Katsuki, and the splattering sound of blood hitting ice. The thud of bodies that imprinted the ground of their figures made the tiny hairs of your skin stand. You stood there watching two hunters fall into a bloodied mess. The flame of the torch was miraculously still burning despite touching the snow but was steadily dying. The figure of the night was briefly shown by the faint light and revealed it to be a wolf with hair as red as the blood on his hands. Fangs were being bared and the skin between his nose were wrinkled. And he had eyes similar to Katsuki’s, steady and full of fire. You couldn’t lift your eyes from him.

“M-Monster!!” You heard the shopkeeper’s screech and the crunch of her footsteps as she fled from the scene. The rest of the hunters were alarmed by the sudden fall of their comrades and they scattered, leaving you to deal with the wolf.

The flame of the torch finally died out and the moon broke through the thick clouds as the pale lighting had returned to the forest. The foreign wolf paid you no mind and he walked past the dead to Katsuki’s body and kneeled beside him.

“Hey buddy, you okay?” He asked, shaking him slightly. Katsuki didn’t respond and you quickly joined him on the ground, your heart dropped to your stomach.

“They-They shot him in the neck with something!” You looked into Katsuki’s face and brought a hand to caress his cheek. The wolf finally looked at you as if he just noticed your presence. His eyebrows rose, and his eyes widened.

“Y-You’re…” He then burst out laughing, clutching his side. It was amazing how innocent he looked even when covered in blood. The smile that appeared on his face was bright and oddly enough, it had shaken your worries away in an instant.

“Don’t worry about Katsuki, they just knocked him out. I’ll get him home.” He informed you, lugging Katsuki’s heavy body over his shoulder. He did it without so much of a sweat. His smile remained when he stood up and he waved quickly before taking a step back. “You’ll be fine heading home, right? Later!”

“Um! Wait!” You took a step forward. “I don’t think I can, actually. After what I did…” You knew what waited for you at your village. Exile. You sided with the wolves and would be marked as a traitor. There was no mercy when it came to people who did. You couldn’t return. “Can I come with you…?”

The wolf looked you over silently, uneasiness crossed over his expression. “You’re very trusting for a human… but uh…”

“Please, I want to go with you. I’m a friend of Katsuki’s.”

“I mean—I know you are, but that alone can’t really protect you. Not many wolves are fond of humans and I don’t know how our pack will react to you. Let alone our leader…” He shot a glance at Katsuki.

“But…” His eyes returned to you and your head was slightly down. Your voice was full of worry and when you finally looked up at him, the wolf’s ears dropped at the sight of your face. You were looking at him with the biggest moist eyes he ever seen. You resembled a trembling rabbit underneath his gaze, afraid of being left in the dark alone. “Where will I go?”

Your words convinced him faster. He just couldn’t leave you here. It wasn’t right in his eyes. “Alright, I’ll try my best to protect you. How much of a man would I be if I left a woman like you alone in the forest? Maybe I can talk to our leader for you too.”

----------------

The wolf who had saved you and Katsuki from the hunters introduced himself as Eijirou. He was a friend of Katsuki but really a distant relative. Eijirou explained how their families come from one common ancestor, hence the famous crimson eyes past down from generation to generation. He didn’t go in depth about the common ancestor or the status of his and Katsuki’s family within the pack. You weren’t sure why he was talking so much, it could’ve been because he noticed how often you glanced at Katsuki’s body on his shoulder. The solemn look in your eyes caused his heart to pang. Eijirou had a soft spot for beautiful sad women, and you were not an exception.

The journey to Katsuki’s pack wasn’t a very long one. It resided in the mountains at the end of the forest. The elevation of the land started to rise and there was a pathway leading into the mountains. The higher you two got, the more the temperature dropped. There was a lot of snow on the mountain caps, but the weight couldn’t make the mountain bow no matter how heavy it became. The snow on ground was up to your calves but the boots you wore at least protected you from getting frostbite. You only wished that you weren’t wearing a long skirt so that you could scale the mountain easier but walking around with only your tights on wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do either.

“Almost there.” Said Eijirou, and he wasn’t wrong. You heard the distant howls of wolves echoing through the mountains and footprints could be seen in the snow leading up the path. A small obstacle was met, and you had to climb up a mountain wall as tall as you. Eijirou went over first and then he helped you over, he had to shift Katsuki onto his back to do so but it still impressed you how at some point he was able to support your and Katsuki’s weight. Truly, wolves were strong.

Over the wall, the pathway continued until you reached an opening of the land. It was like a large crater within the mountain and on the mountainside was littered with caves that were unnaturally formed, it was like the openings of beehives without the geometrical shape. Almost all of the caves had a dim light shining from within them and tall torches were planted along the edge of the area and some lanterns were even hung from cave entrance to entrance.

You didn’t miss the low growls that sounded from within them and you saw the wolves cautiously leaving their caves, their eyes were fixed to your figure. You saw a variety of wolves, from the stoic men to the strong women and their timid children, clutching at their legs with their tiny claws and snarling as best as they could with their juvenile fangs. These wolves were far from what you were told, cautious, yes, but far from the vicious monsters your village seemed to claim. They had a life and family and friends, everything that the people from your village could relate to.

And at the very top where the highest cave resided stood a woman at the landing with pale blonde hair and eyes more intense than the wolves slowly surrounding you. She stood with her head held high and the wind carrying her hair as if it belongs with the flurries around her. You were fearful of her presence yet still in awe by it. And then she jumped down from her height with such grace that you felt your heart stop the moment her feet flawlessly touch the ground. She stalked towards you and Kirishima, the crowd of wolves splitting a path for her to walk through. The closer she got, the more familiar she became. Not only was she gorgeous but her eyes were like Katsuki’s, blood-red, and beautiful like fire lilies.

“What is a human doing here?” She growled, stopping right in front of you. You could hear the wolves behind her mimicking her growls. Eijirou quickly cut an arm between you and the woman and moved in front of you.

“She’s a friend of Katsuki. I found them in the woods together when hunters tried to attack them. They knocked out Katsuki too.” Eijirou placed Katsuki on the ground in front of her and the woman instantly sucked her teeth and looked away.

“Take the weak brat to his cave.” She motioned to the wolves behind her and two men emerged from the crowd and carried Katsuki away into one of the caves.

“Also, she tried to help Katsuki and got exiled from her village because of that, I couldn’t leave her, so I brought her back here.”

The woman sighed. “You can leave us, Eijirou, and thank you for bringing him back.”

“No worries!” Eijirou nodded and then he turned to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. He gave you a small smile to assure you that everything would be okay before leaving you alone with her. You watched him as he retreated into the crowd and then was bombarded by three children throwing themselves at him before you could get a closer look, the woman had grabbed you by your arm and motioned for you to walk with her.

“Friend of Katsuki, huh? What’s your name, human?”

“It’s ____.” You answered wearily. Her eyes were so intense that you kept yours to the floor.

“You’re the one my son’s been sneaking off to see?”

You gasped and looked up to meet her eyes. The fear you felt before disappearing at her revelation. “S-Son?! You’re Katsuki’s mother? You look like you could be his sister!”

That intensity in her eyes softened at your words. A bright smile was on her face and it was like she was a completely different person.

“Really, you’re just playing with me.” She laughed shortly, followed by a scowl. Already, she was back to a usual Katsuki. “Besides, that ungrateful brat always calls me old. Just wait till he wakes up… what kind of a wolf falls that easily to hunters?”

“Well… there was a lot of them.”

“Making excuses for him?” She stopped walking and smirked at the blush that blossomed on your cheeks.

“I-I-I-Um…” You didn’t want to tell her he was too busy making out with you against the tree.

She gave a comforting hand to your shoulder. “Just relax, you seem like such a sweet girl, ____. A little too sweet for my son. I know how he can be, full of himself and aggressive. He has every right to be because of how strong he is. But I’ve noticed he’s changed not because he’s maturing but because… well, maybe because of you.” His mother’s eyes looked distant for a moment, like she had drifted off into memory of her own. She looked vulnerable which didn’t fit with the woman who was standing so proudly before. “I don’t know what your plans are with my son or what you plan to do now that you’re exiled but…” She paused, whatever weakness she had before was nonexistent and her gaze sharpened when you met with them. “I’ll trust you because Katsuki does too.”

“Th-Thank you.” You nodded, and her expression relaxed into a soft smile. She started to lead you closer to an entrance of a cave. “He’s in here, just follow the path, first room on the left.”

You gave the cave a glance, the path curved within, so you couldn’t see where it led to. You thanked her again and she pushed you softly on your back to encourage you. Before you stepped inside, you gave her another look and she was still smiling. Her eyes gentle like fire lilies in the wind.

“You can call me Mitsuki, by the way.”

-------------------

The silence from the flickering candles were deafening to anyone with normal hearing but to Katsuki, he could hear the gentle crackling of the burning strings and the wax trickling down as it slowly melts itself into a puddle. He could smell the musky scent of smoke filling the air and the slight warmth from the flame. He shifted softly because of it, and a groan had left him. His senses were waking up from their slumber.

“Katsuki…?” He then heard your sweet voice that sounded rather close to him. Immediately, his eyes opened, and his vision quickly adjusted to the sight of the dimmed ceilings of the cave. He recognized it to be the cave he usually spends his time in. He wouldn’t want to call it his room because technically his room was next to his mother’s, but he always tried his best to avoid staying in that room because of that very reason.

The next thing he saw was your face as you were leaning over him and then he felt your hand in his. Even with your face mostly casted by the shadows caused by the flames, you still looked beautiful.

“Where are those fuckers?” He spoke softly yet his words were none but venomous. He brought a hand to his forehead, but he kept the one you were holding still by his side. He realized his head was being propped up by a cushion stuffed with feathers and under him was a cloth made out of sheep’s wool.

“Some dead. The others ran away.”

Katsuki snorted. He started to prop himself up on his elbows, “Good. I’ll make sure the others join them in hell,” but you pushed at his chest to settle him down.

“You should relax, Katsuki. Please…” You pleaded with him, sharing gazes for a moment. It must’ve been the glow from the flame because Katsuki’s face looked flushed before he laid back down on the cloth. He looked towards the candles to his left to avoid looking at you. They were twitching wildly in place on top of a table, desperate to cling on to anything to grow. He wanted to find amusement in it, but he couldn’t avoid the question that lingered in his mind after your statement.

“So, who killed them?”

“Eijirou. He saved us and brought me here. I sided with you so… I’m sure my village will exile me.” Katsuki didn’t like your tone, how matter-of-fact it was, like it didn’t matter to you. Did you not know how serious your statement was?

You saw his eyebrows knit together and his next words came out in a growl that rumbled the stone floor under your fingertips. “Why didn’t you run like I told you to?”

Your face almost mirrored his but was twisted with confusion about his words. “You think I could’ve left you there to die to the hunters?”

“And you think I would’ve died to them?” You knew how prideful Katsuki could get, but this was ridiculous. There was not a chance for Katsuki to survive if you had left him tonight. He would’ve been dead, or a trophy hanged above the fireplace of a hunter’s cabin labeled ‘best kill of the day’. Katsuki had sat up, completely turning to face you with a glare you were all too familiar with.

“Katsuki! They knocked you out! There was no chance in winning that!”

“It’s better than being fucking exiled from your village! Do you even know what that means?! You can never return home! You’re leaving everything behind! Your life, family, friends! What don’t you get?!”

“I couldn’t leave you there!” You screamed, throwing your fists down against your thighs. You heard your voice resonating throughout the cave and wouldn’t be surprised if some wolves had heard you. They already had fantastic hearing. “What don’t you get…? After all that happened, how could I even dream of leaving you there?” You knew there was a splitting decision you had to make in that moment. Your life or Katsuki’s life. Were you to betray your village for a wolf and abandon your lifestyle and friends for the enemy of mankind? It wasn’t exactly a hard decision to make. You couldn’t imagine your life without Katsuki anymore. Without Katsuki, there was no life for you.

But Katsuki couldn’t help but feel guilty of your decision. Why did such a sacrifice need to be made just for you and him to be together? He wasn’t angry at you but more of himself for crossing that boundary with you and being more than just friends. He couldn’t control himself from your words then in the forest and even now, as your tears slid down your cheeks after the outburst of your confession. You always shined no matter what emotion you were showing and Katsuki was drawn to it like a fly, repeatedly smacking his head upon the glass to reach the light that shone within you. Because, perhaps, any darkness that existed within him would fade at the slightest glimpse of it.

Katsuki kissed your lips to fill his soul of your light. A soft, feathery kiss that made you relax into him. A kiss of relief. Your hands rested on his shoulders and you felt Katsuki’s arms holding your waist. He supported your entire weight without any troubles and all at once, it felt as if your problems had melted away. It was such an innocent kiss, far from the one against the tree where you were held breathless and heated, passion oozing from each other’s tongues and filled with vigor. This time, it felt like you could read the emotion of Katsuki right off the page, word to word, reciting them together as one with your lips. He loved you and you loved him.

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha fantasy au #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #werewolf bakugou #wau bnha #nekokoafanfictions

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roloko-karlstein · 5 years ago

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S+:

Final Fantasy IV and Final Fantasy IV: The After Years - my favorite games in the FF franchise it had a pretty damn good story and the characters were really memorable to me. Also its home to two of the few best OST that has Uematsu has composed Red Wings and The Four Fiends. On top of that I really loved how the sequel adds another layer of strategy with its lunar system. I know people hate the sequel cause of how it was spit into multiple episodes you had to buy, but as a person playing the PSP version where the all the stories were all bundled into one price it was actually pretty fun to see how and what the characters has been up to all this time and some fresh faces in forms of either children or comrades of the old IV cast.

Final Fantasy VI: I love this game its my second favorite FF title. I think my favorite thing about it was at different times you controlled different party members it wasn’t just Terra the whole time. Also the fact anybody can learn magic so in a pinch you could use your offensive characters to heal. Who can forget the opera scene and the Dancing Mad song? Instant classic songs

Final Fantasy Type 0: My third favorite game in the franchise. I know that is an unpopular opinion, but I just love the setting and how you can control any character cause its their story and not like a specific character (Ace). Every character has their own weapons and way of fighting I really love using Cinque,Jack, and Trey. I know people hate using her cause she is slow, but I feel like its all about timing she is super strong honestly. I never finished it nor a new game plus where I think it ends differently than the first playthrough. I love the battle system overworld battles play more like Tales of while the missions play out like XV’s battle system, but I think better honestly.

Final Fantasy X: My fourth favorite FF title and if I remember my very first. Touching story and I love the characters. The only real flack I have is unskippable cutscenes even in the remaster. It really makes it annoying when facing two certain bosses.

Final Fantasy IX: My fifth favorite FF title. It had quite a few memorable characters and fun games on the side. I really liked its story too. The final boss really came out of no where I still think it should’ve ended at Kuja, but whatevs.

Final Fantasy VII: This one is a classic which is why it made A rank. I’m fairly certain the remake will be S or S+ tier with how they are expanding on characters and the story (I will cry over Biggs,Wedge, and Jessie I can feel it you know its coming, but I bet Square will pull out all the stops to get us to like them)

Final Fantasy Rhythm games: My other favorite genre after JRPGs which is rhythm games. I love the little chibi characters!

Crisis Core: Its a nice prequel and the ending was really good I remember first playing it I cried even though I knew it was coming. I really like the song “Why” that plays during the credits

Final Fantasy V: Only reason it is below A rank is cause I never really got far in it. And both times I played it I only made it to the part where we find out about Faris and Lenna’s relationship. Job system was pretty cool and was an upgrade from III.

Final Fantasy Record Keeper: For a mobile game its pretty good and the gatcha was I think for weapons and not for characters.

Final Fantasy VIII: I actually like the junction and drawing system it was new. The final boss fight would leave me on the edge of my seat cause the final boss I think draws all of a certain type of magic from you every other turn so it was basically a battle against time. This series had more of a modern day/futuristic vibe to it. The only reason its a B cause I didn’t really care too much for the story.

Final Fantasy II: Its an easy game after hitting yourself for two hours straight. No really. After I got past the first part of the game I find that ya know it isn’t THAT bad of a game kinda tedious at the start to get your stats up there, but after that it really is smooth sailing the rest of the game.

Final Fantasy: It is only at B rank cause this is where everything began even if the game play is simple and the characters have no name and there really isn’t much of a story

Final Fantasy X-2: I think its nice that we get to see a more light hearted story for the most part, but I don’t think this was really necessary. Has one of the best battle systems in the franchise though I have fun playing it and it does have some really challenging fights.

Final Fantasy XIII: I don’t think its bad as what people make it out to be its honestly an average game and the story is alright.

Final Fantasy Brave Exvius: I used to play this game and the event stories that would come out were really good, but if you do not have 6 Star characters with super strong equipment you would never able to finish the story. Also from what I’ve heard its not even harder to obtain lapis to draw for characters. Gatcha has been going downhill and the events harder which is why I eventually quit.

Final Fantasy III: I haven’t gotten far, but I don’t really care too much for how you can only have so many spells for each level. I think I like V and X-2 more since you can actually learn all the magics by using that class in battle.

World of Final Fantasy: Meh...thats all I gotta say I want to kill that animal thing “THE this” “THE that” if I want to hear shit like that I would go watch Teen Titans Go

Final Fantasy All The Bravest: Again not as bad as the fandom says it is and I breezed through it in a week. I guess I can see why people are ticked though. $1 for a character and it might not even show up in your party.

Final Fantasy XII: I’m thinking about giving this another chance honestly. I wasn’t a fan of the gameplay or license board.

Final Fantasy XV: Probably one of the biggest disappointments since me playing XII. I payed full price for both AND bought the strategy guides which was not cheap. While XV is better with its gameplay the story felt really rushed and had some of the worst romantic subplot I have ever seen compared to any previous Final Fantasy. Noct had more development with his fellow chocobruhs than he ever did with Luna.

The Dissidia games: I’m not a fan of fighting games I think what I liked most about these were different heroes/villains interacting with each other.

Dirge of Cerberus: Terrible game play, Terrible story, I got motion sickness extremely easy, all around bad game.

Final Fantasy XV mobile game: I never played it, but I have seen ads for it and I’m like really? REALLY?

#final fantasy #final fantasy iv #final fantasy vi #final fantasy type 0 #roloko's posts

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imperiusv · 5 years ago

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IV - Raging, This is the End

I loved that vacation on the sea just you and me, i always wanted to go to that place with someone since I was a child, it was really special to me and i loved that you enjoyed it , food was shit tho and it wasn’t as good as I remembered, but well worth it with you. After/before that i quit my job to study for the exams, i knew shitty days were coming and they were, but I had to do that, there was no other way, that job was a dead-end , draining my energy and abilities and opportunities, I had to graduate, I knew this would fuck us money wise and relationship wise, I would be way more needy,angry and would probably lead straight down the rabbit hole , but I had to do it. In those days it was really hard for me, as you weren’t understanding at all , showed zero patience towards me and generally made me feel ever worse, that’s how i knew you weren’t the right for me , you just weren’t there for me, like you kept doubting me for everything, like doing business or having kids, that time when your period was really late, this drove me so far away from you, i was really disappointed and stopped loving you so much, i think that was the moment i started losing you for real, step by step,slowly over the course of an year. We went to Hamburg to visit my family that was nice , really thoughtful of you, I will go soon again, as i haven’t seen them ever since. Rome was good too, just that thing with the black guys was horrible, at that moment i didn’t realize what had happened, I was just so disgusted that i wanted to get away from them, I didn’t see that you got hurt or felt like that and do regret it to this day, its one of the things i really messed up.There we had a good time , we should have done more fun stuff, but i guess i was in a different mentality back then.That surprise i made for your birthday , i really put so much effort into it, I was thinking like stuff from our shared past and to make a trip down memory lane, i hope you didn’t sell the necklace, i see that you still wear the bracelet, I am happy that you do. The weekend getaway for our anniversary was nice, we should have done that way more often, i kinda regret now that i didn’t get my shit together to get a driving license, but i was just fucking worried how am i gonna cope with money and having a car, again the fucking money thing, i realize now how much of a problem not having enough money is , it gives you stress, makes you worry about a lot of stuff, stops you from doing things and prevents you from enjoying yourself, which adds up slowly over time and generates even more shit ,arguments and bad vibes. Slowly i was getting my shit together, i had graduated , my fucking internship was almost over , i was going to job interviews, which were all really bad,it was really draining on and when i finally thought i was gonna get shit done for good, like get a good law job,getting a driving license, fix my relationship with you, at which time it was already apparent to me that there was a problem i had been ignoring for quite some time and we were slipping and finally do what i thought i wanted to do and be happy,of course not even one of those things came to fruition ,everything came crashing down again .The whole driving test was rigged, they fucked me in the ass for money, over complicating absolutely everything, you being less and less understanding,cold and distant and increasingly more toxic and what hit the worse was the realization of post graduate life that, you wont make any money and your life will be shit, thank you for studying for 6 long years , here is less money than a fucking cleaning lady, but yeah it says MR LAW in front of your name, shit i was gonna even be a detective, good thing i didn’t go down that path or how you were telling me to go for lawyer and we will manage with your salary and scraps from my dad, fuck what a shit show that would have been. You have no idea how shitty it was looking for a job and getting shit from interviewers and going on about ridiculous job offers, because you and my dad were pressuring me, praise the Emperor I didn’t let that shit get to me, which was the difference between us , that i never listened to my parents, even though you always made fun of me about being a little bitch and listening to my dad, nope, I am not you and I really really really hated how dependent on your parents opinions you were , how you made so much efforts to please them , although you thought you didn’t , you did a lot. Every time you went there for the holidays i would get pissed, because i wanted quality time with you, not to go to my fucking town and listen to my dad and his dumb as wife bullshits , it just drained me so much, being away from you, I should have embraced it and be happy for the alone time, but instead i missed you, which only shows how much I truly loved you. Standing in the cold in the frozen wind I’m leaving you behind but it’s not the end No, no, no Walking on a plane as I hold my breath It’s gonna be weeks till I breathe again How can someone not get depressed after so much shit coming their way, now when i look back I can’t blame myself that much for being like that, I mean i still blame me of course, I should have handled it better, but definitely i look with more kindness on myself going back over this period of my life, Nobody , literally nobody understood me, not even my dad, brother, friends , not even you, it was horrible , funny thing is now my friends are going through the same shit and my brother kinda is as well and they see , but back then no one even tried or made an effort, it was just nagging and bullshit and putting more and more pressure on me in a moment that i needed support and understanding.So in this shitstorm a trip with your parents was the last thing on my mind, but i could not go, you would go crazy and they would be offended, probably it would have been way better if i had not came. I really tried with them, I still can’t figure out why they never liked me. Maybe they knew i was a bad match for you and you had to keep it up with me or God knows why, it doesn’t even matter anymore of course, like most things.I was annoyed by them in that moment,but i was annoyed by everyone and everything you knew that and i still kept face and behaved, I helped them, i was useful and nice, except for groping your ass and fucking you like crazy, but WTF you were my girl, of course i would do that, Jesus fucking Christ, this was/is so fucking ridiculous.Slowly over those months i could feel you slipping completely, you started to disrespect me a lot and slowly i went from your top priority, lol like that ever was true, to bottom line priority, you would prioritize time with your dumb ass bitch friends than spend time with me,the most absurd thing was that we would have fights that we don’t do anything and go anything, but so convenient, you would work on the weekends, the next one you would have lectures, the third one you would go see your mamma, and the 4th one in the month , you would be meh, lets go eat pizza, I’m tired and i wanna rest, which for me was okay , i loved taking you to restaurants, not the same five places of course, we could have tried more stuff, but every week we went out , the problem was you were bitching we don’t do shit and it was your fucking fault and i don’t blame you, i was bad company at the time , its normal to not wanting to spend time together, sadly i needed time alone, we should have split then, until i figure my shit out, that was the only way , but i was too weak to leave you, too desperate to hold on to our dying toxic relationship ,but If i had left you back then , we would still be together, how paradoxical that is, but it is God honest truth, but I’m glad that did not happen, because we would end up having kids or getting married and one day i would wake up and be like what the fuck is going on with my life and why am I with this women, who is clearly not worthy of me, as cmon you never were, not just looks and intelligence, but also your behavior , character and vibe, you are unstable , unreliable and untrustworthy and very volatile ,not someone who would want to have kids and build a future together for sure, good for some time,yes you were not right for me at all , but let me get that CRYSTAL CLEAR that doesn’t change the FACT that i loved you more than anything. Everybody around you was hating me , of course you would start to do the same ,for their own selfish reasons, your boss, he was jealous of me, the fat fucker, that i would get that ass every night and he can’t see his dick from his fat belly, but i didn’t give a damn about that porker, i have no idea why you thought i was jealous of him or whatever, an absurd notion. Back then i didn’t think you could fall so low like you are now, but to be honest you always had an affinity for gross disgusting guys , e.g Romane, Lazslo , that guy you used to date before, most of your male friends, I do believe they made you feel better and more secure, because you felt better than them and you did not have to put so much effort in it or worry about it , or feel bad and be willing to work for it. I saw that pattern even back then and from your conversations with your mom , I think you were raised like that as well, to be mediocre and settle for less , just so you don’t get burned by the fire, which is really sad, but hey , its only your life choices, so who cares. My step brother’s prom came and it was like a really weird spin of fate, two years before that was my brother’s prom and we were so happy ,not pretending, this time around, we just looked happy in the photos and were pretending that everything was okay, which all my family noticed, sadly except for me , but to be honest i knew where we were headed , I just didn’t want to accept it , I used to talk with my dumb ass friend from my town over the phone, going on at great length , how much you are not for me and how much better it would be if we split, but i still had hope that we might get over this and things will be different , that you are different and I am not right, its only a temporary thing and so on and so on, what a fool for you and your love I was. After that your behavior grew increasingly erratic, you would pick fights with me for the slightest of things, complain about everything, nag and blab all the time. I was so worried at that time for securing employment and my upcoming last exam , that i scarcely took notice of said behavior , which for the time was the exact thing i should have done, but as my mind cleared i focused on the things you were saying and complaining about, which was my complete downfall, trying logic and reason with you, when obviously you were doing it on purpose or perhaps you weren’t ,but it came from your deep underneath your consciousness, in a way to force me to leave you , because you could not do it yourself. Those last months were horrible, constant bickering and fighting , i was gonna give you a meme - toxic is good , toxic is great , but we split before i managed to send it. This was quite visible and from the time we spend together or more correctly we did not, you would be at work or drinking with your slut friends , who more than anything wanted you to be single, it’s not normal for your girlfriend to get drunk, especially when she know she has a drinking problem, lol that was joke. But yeah it wasn’t normal that you would go out at noon to drink with you friends and come home at ten , knowing that this is our only free day we should rather spend it together doing something just the two us or with other people,but us together, that was my problem, not you drinking with your friends or in generally getting wasted, problem at the time of course, as I needed you, now if i was in the same situation it wouldn’t be a problem , i would just do the same with my friends or dump your disrespectful ass, you have no idea how low my tolerance for bullshit has become, if you think i was bad before, you should look at me now, I am perfectly aware of who I am, my self worth and self imagine, I am not gonna let anyone, let one some dumb ass bitch fuck with me or walk over me, its either my way or the fucking highway, you wanna be part of my life, my good vibes and self amusement mindset, have a good time, then you must contribute , you must bring something good to the table as well, if not , okay , good luck out there and hope you find what you are looking for. This has been my mindset lately and it has worked wonders for my mental state and happiness. No one cares about that tho , so lets move on to the action part- APOCALYPSE Ever since i started working ,I was hoping things were gonna go improve and we might pull through , but nah, you were already set on breaking up and looking for another guy , that better looking guy from your work that split with his girl didn’t go for you, because he probably saw what you were and you took a liking into gorrila joe , he does look like a monkey to be honest or Mr. disgusting like we like to call him, he was giving you free attention, validating you and boosting your fragile ego and you decided why would you bother with me when you can have this wimp in your legs and walk over him , why try hard when you can go easy and let go of yourself and just give him the only thing you had of value, hidden between your legs. I remember when i met him for the first time, how he looked frightened, we were still together, he knew i knew what was up, but i did not believe you would fall so low and just disregarded him , i mean cmon this guy was so fucking disgusting, how could you even... Just before the end you would go into the most ridiculously arguments , like why i don’t want friends, it was none of your business and i have friends, i just didn’t seem them because of you , you would bitch and moan if I did and generally hated them and other stupid things you would fight with me, i knew the end was coming, as this shit has happened before with another , just a short explanation here, the moment we split she started writing me , sending me cringy snapchats videos of her, for the sole reason i can’t record them or SS , with stupid quesitons how are you doing and so on , my friends said i should fuck her to make you feel bad, but that whore was absolutely disgusting to me, i only entertained the idea of talking with her to get the old photos that got deleted, THAT WAS THE ONLY REASON, she was so insignificant and inconsequential to me that i wouldn’t even care if she would come butt ass naked to my doorstep begging for cock, i would laugh and go to the gym, she appeared again in this story 6 months later, but thats or the last chapter, if she is reading this by any chance , just fuck off, you are a bad memory i erased long ago, like some dumb school project that you did ages ago, exactly can’t remember, doesn’t matter fuck off. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, we went to that nice Italian restaurant and the whole time you were complaining and bitching about stuff , you made an effort not to agree with anything , i don’t want here i don’t want there, stupidity and disrespected pilled up with shit. I finally decided to act, so when we went home i confronted you and asked whats up, you were afraid again to tell me, didn’t have the courage to step up and say the truth , so you gave me the bullshit idk if we should be together, this was the defining moment , I showed you the door and told you to fuck off, you started crying and this was my biggest failure and mistake, that i thought you were different, i felt really bad and sorry for you and said to myself this is my girl i should try to fix it, but no dumbass , it was already unfixable and way too broken for me to repair, the only way this shit was gonna go down my way was if i had dumped you as i first told you to pack you stuff and leave,but my feelings for you again got the better of me . You picked the perfect moment for that of course, i was sick and was feverish , I couldn’t think straight at all , if i was okay , things would have been different and i wouldn’t have been that broken, but yeah my mistake again for putting my faith in you. You lied to me that you love me and said we will work things out, a blatant lie , knowing that you were gonna pack your shit and vanish the day after that , as you do best. And the most disgusting thing was that you were still making plans with me to go to Greece and on a holiday, using for the last time, before we go our separate ways, maybe your guilt got in the way or me pushing you too hard, otherwise you would have stayed for longer with me and God forbid , if we stayed together until the winter, stop me from coming here or we could have pushed through and made it ,who knows, Praise the Emperor that things went the way the did, for me to see you as the person you really are, not that perfect image i had of you.

We finally arrive to that day 29 of August, from the morning i knew something wasn’t right I could sense you, even thought , the last night we slept together i just knew this was it, I could feel it , i asked to leave work earlier and headed home ,but it was already too late as i entered the door my heart fell andwhat happened after that I will cover in the last chapter of your story.

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preserving-ferretbrain · 6 years ago

Text

City of Celluloid

by Dan H

Sunday, 01 September 2013

Dan has seen the City of Bones movie.

Uh-oh! This is in the Axis of Awful...~

I first reviewed Cassandra Cla(i)re's City of Bones in the halcyon days of 2008.

Today, Kyra and I went to see the movie!

Umm...

Long time readers (or people who read the review I linked to above) may recall that I found the original book of City of Bones so blisteringly incoherent that I was barely able to write about it in any kind of sensible manner.

The movie is worse.

Kyra and I saw this film in the tiny, crappy screen at the Odeon on Magdalen Street, an experience we shared with about a dozen other people, all of whom seemed to be having a similarly terrible experience.

Just as with the original book, I really don't know where to start. Because this film is awful in nearly every conceivable way.

Let's start with the good bits:

Good Bit: The Cast are Actually Pretty Cool

Jamie Campbell-Bower is actually really good as Fanon Draco. In the book, I felt that his constant wisecracking revealed less about the character's emotional turmoil than about the author's desire to show off her ability to write one-liners. Campbell-Bower's delivery, though, actually manages to create the impression that I always felt the book was aiming for but failed to achieve – that Fanon Draco is hiding behind playful or dismissive language in order to avoid confronting his feelings.

Lily Collins is a bit generic as Clary but then, really, what does she have to work with. She's … a girl? She has special powers? She's hot for Fanon Draco?

Robert Sheehan (the guy that plays Immortal Kid in Misfits) does a reasonable turn as Simon, although again there isn't a huge amount to do with the character. He wears glasses (temporarily). He has a raging case of nice-guy-syndrome. Meh. I swear he's taller in this than he is in other stuff.

Perhaps most excitingly (even more excitingly than Jamie Campbell-Bower, and I love Jamie Campbell-Bower), Jonathan Rhys Meyers does a fabulously scenery-chewing turn as Valentine. And boy does he need it, because if he stopped raging around and roaring for ten seconds, you might have to ask yourself what the holy fucking hell is actually supposed to be happening, and then you'd probably have to go and cry.

Incidentally, I think it probably says something about the way things work in Hollywood that the teenage protagonists of this film are played by actors in their mid twenties, while their father is played by an actor in his mid thirties. Clearly Valentine was extraordinarily sexually precocious (even if we ignore the fact that Collins and Campbell-Bower are the best part of a decade older than the characters they portray, Rhys-Meyers' Valentine would still have to have started breeding at nineteen to have two seventeen-year-old kids).

Good Bit: It Is Quite Visually Interesting

Part of the fun of this kind of film is that it lends itself quite well to spectacle, and in the beginning the film-makers do a really good job of establishing a visual style, whether it's the Hogwarts-esque grandeur of the institute, the hundreds of Shadowhunter runes that Clary draws in her sleep, or the grotesque, body-splitting demons.

Some of these images might come from the book. I honestly don't remember. I'm pretty sure that the device of Clary drawing Shadowhunter runes is film-only, and I seem to recall that the entire concept of Demons being able to possess people is contrary to book-canon (where Demons are fairly specifically greebly monsters that eat you).

Having said the film is quite visually interesting, I should backtrack a little and say that the film is quite visually interesting in kind of its first half. After they get to the Institute things just get very, very lazy. Big generic flappy-winged monsters. Generic black-and-red demons who look weirdly like the dudes that the Zin send after you in Saints' Row IV

Although Valentine does make a pentagram out of swords. For which plus ten points for swords, minus six points because the pentagram is such an obvious symbol.

And now the rest:

Bad Bit: What The Fuck Is Going On?

So Clary is drawing runes. Then she meets a guy who only she can see. Then later other people can see him.

Then her mum gets attacked by dudes who are looking for the Mortal Cup, so she drinks some kind of magic coma potion because that is apparently the thing you do in that situation.

Then Clary gets attacked by a demon, and the guy rescues her.

Then they do a lot of running around, and the guy who we saw with her mum earlier said he was only hanging out with her to get the cup.

Then they go to this place called the institute. Some people are vaguely rude to Clary. Others aren't.

Clary works out that Damien from Gossip Girl is both gay and in love with Fanon Draco, despite the fact that he has said one sentence and been on screen for eight seconds.

Then Clary goes to see the Silent Brothers. This is one of the bits that are vaguely visually interesting. She has a vision where she sees the name Bane (well, actually she see a series of dots, but Fanon Draco realises that the dots are really, umm, the spaces around the letters in the word BANE witten in block caps. Because her brain stored the negative image. Apparently).

Then they go to see a Warlock. It is vitally important that before they do this that (a) Clary get dressed up in sexy clothes and (b) everybody including Clary take the time to observe that she looks like a hooker, because while it is important for women to dress sexily, it is also important to remember that women who dress sexily are gigantic whores.

The warlock agrees to help them because he is gay, and therefore fancies Damien from Gossip Girl, because all gay men are instantly attracted to all other gay men. The warlock is not wearing any trousers. I am not making this up.

The Immortal Kid from Misfits is captured by vampires for no clear reason.

Something something werewolves something something.

Then there is a scene in a garden where it is all romantic and you know it is romantic because they kiss, but also because there is an extraordinarily loud and intrusive love song played over the top.

Then I think Clary works out where the Mortal Cup is, because she is drinking tea while reading a book, and suddenly the teacup goes inside the page like a picture.

Then they fight a scary black woman.

Then Clary gets the Mortal Cup. Then the man with the grey hair opens the big water portal and Valentine comes through.

Then there is a really, really long fight scene.

No, I mean, like really, really long.

I mean, like half an hour in a two hour movie.

There is a flamethrower. Why is there a flamethrower?

Clary does magic with her glowing dildo pen to freeze some demons.

Did I mention flamethrower?

Grey hair man is a good guy again?

Valentine is everybody's father.

They win?

More glowing dildo magic?

Clary and Fanon Draco drive away on a motorcycle. At a slow walking pace.

Potentially Hilarious Bit: Deviations From Canon

The thing I find most uplifting about the Mortal Instruments movie is that now not only will there be fanfiction based on a novel series based on fanfiction of a different novel series, but there will now be schisms within that fandom between book fans and movie fans.

I read City of Bones five years ago, so I don't really remember it at all well, but I'm pretty sure there were some pretty big changes from book-canon. I'm almost certain that the final confrontation in the original book doesn't take place in the Institute, and Valentine's motivations in the movie are a lot less morally ambiguous, in that he's fairly explicitly trying to take over the world with an army of demons rather than just wipe out the downworlders (I might also point out that the word “downworlder” only appears once in the entire movie).

At the risk of sounding like a horrible nerd and closeted Cla(i)re fanboy, I was strangely irritated by the fact that Valentine, in the film, is able to summon an army of demons by using sort of generic magic, since in the book of City of Ashes a major plot-point is that he needs the Mortal Sword for exactly that purpose.

Other changes form canon just made sense. For example, in the film, Valentine more or less states outright that he used the same kind of memory magic that Marcus Bane used on Clary in order to make Fanon Draco forget that he was raised by the most famous and reviled person in the history of his people. Now actually I'm pretty sure that this isn't possible under book-canon. Shadowhunter magic is runes and only runes, you'd need a warlock for a memory-block, and there's no way that Valentine would have gone to one. But here the film-makers did basically the best they could with what they had. The alternative would be to just go with what it says in the book, which is that Fanon Draco just completley failed to realise that the man who raised him looked exactly like the man whose picture is all over the Institute.

The film also strongly implied that the man Fanon Draco remembered as his father wore an enormous hood at all times.

On the subject of Fanon Draco's heritage, the film inexplicably chose to keep the nonsensical “M turned upside down” plot point from the book, and translated to a visual medium it has exactly the problem I pointed out in my original article. During the climactic scene, when Fanon Draco is staring at his hand and realising to his horror that what he thought was a W is actually an M, the camera is showing us the ring from the other side as it has more or less consistently throughout the entire movie so we are only just seeing it as a W when for us it has been an M for the rest of the film.

Also, the scene with the ring is also pretty much the first time we learn the surnames of either Valentine or Fanon Draco.

The final change from book-canon is to do with the … umm … incest.

A major plot point in The Mortal Instruments is that Clary and Fanon Draco want to be together but can't because they're brother and sister. At the end of the final book, it turns out that Valentine actually isn't Fanon Draco's father at all, he just did weird angel-blood experiments on him while he was still in the womb.

Now I could be wrong, but I think the film-makers really didn't want two and a half movies in which their male and female leads spent half their time seriously contemplating incestuous sex, so they put the “not his real father” line in before any of the other revelations. So now after Valentine shows up in the Institute, he has a conversation with Hodge, where Hodge says “hey, if you really wanted to screw with those guys you could lie and tell them they were brother and sister.” This somewhat alters the context of everything that happens next, and everything that will happen in the next two films.

So umm, yeah. That's City of Bones: the Movie. It may actually be worse than the book.Themes:

TV & Movies

Cassandra Clare

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http://ronanwills.wordpress.com/

at 14:01 on 2013-09-01Robert Sheehan is in this? I'm really hoping he's destined for better things, so this better not end up derailing his career.

Anyway, I was hoping to see a review of the movie on here so now I can satisfy my curiosity without actually watching it myself. I have to admit some of the clips they released actually looked fairly entertaining, but I guess they're not indicative of the movie itself.

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Dan H

at 15:22 on 2013-09-01I think it depends on what you mean by "indicative". There are certainly a lot of entertaining clips, it's just that there's nothing stringing them together. It's like the film is a two hour long trailer.

This is more or less exactly the same problem that I had with the book. There are quite a lot of cool scenes, but they just sort of happen one after the other with no real throughline or sense of arc.

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Fishing in the Mud

at 15:44 on 2013-09-01I'm kind of morbidly curious about what keeps the Clare train going. It looks like she's making money off her work and everything, but I have to wonder how she feels about the terrible reviews her work gets even from critics who like and praise popular writers like Whedon and Rowling. Something tells me the poor woman isn't just in this for the money.

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Arthur B

at 22:24 on 2013-09-01

Isn't this part of the usual weirdness with American media wanting to cast teenagers in sexually provocative roles but not, for obvious reasons, wanting to show actual (or even simulated) underage action on screen? I literally just started watching

Vampire Diaries

and half my viewing time so far has been spent yelling at the screen WHY ARE YOU STILL IN SCHOOL GET A JOB YOU SLACKERS

(Though to be fair, the fact that all the high schoolers are grown-ass adults makes the whole thing less creepy in some ways.)

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Cressida

at 22:55 on 2013-09-01A video review from The Nostalgia Chick; I'm curious what Ferretbrainers think...

http://blip.tv/nostalgia-chick/the-next-whatever-the-mortal-instruments-and-ya-adaptations-6635563

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Arthur B

at 23:19 on 2013-09-01My thoughts are "Woah, holy shit, a TGWTG reviewer who offers interesting insights and doesn't rely heavily on gimmicks, fake rage and wAcKy ChArAcTeRs, how rare is that?"

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Michal

at 00:56 on 2013-09-02I was actually about to post that video. Needless to say, I find her points to be very good ones.

My thoughts are "Woah, holy shit, a TGWTG reviewer who offers interesting insights and doesn't rely heavily on gimmicks, fake rage and wAcKy ChArAcTeRs, how rare is that?"

The good ones gather at Chez Apocalypse. Kyle Kallgren of

Brows Held High

is also very erudite and worth watching, especially his more recent videos. (Even better, the crossover between Nostalgia Chick and Brows Held High in which they review

Freddy Got Fingered

is truly something to behold)

I'm kind of morbidly curious about what keeps the Clare train going.

There are very few writers who are purely in it for the money, even the bad ones. I can assure you E.L. James probably enjoyed writing

Fifty Shades of Grey

very much and did not think "my

Twilight

fanfic will make millions!" But if there is a sentiment towards material gain behind Clare's work and writing, it can probably be summed up by

this enormous tour bus

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Fishing in the Mud

at 17:04 on 2013-09-02

I can assure you E.L. James probably enjoyed writing Fifty Shades of Grey very much and did not think "my Twilight fanfic will make millions!"

No doubt. But with Clare, I get the sense she doesn't want to write dreck and doesn't want people to think she writes dreck, but may not fully understand how to get better.

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http://wrongquestions.blogspot.com/

at 09:10 on 2013-09-03

with Clare, I get the sense she doesn't want to write dreck and doesn't want people to think she writes dreck

Obviously there's a non-trivial number of people who don't think that she writes dreck. She was a massively successful fanfic author, after all, to the extent of getting a professional publishing contract off her fanfic (and despite her books' debt to Harry Potter, unlike E.L. James she hasn't sold her fanfic; she had to write something from scratch and sell that). And I have seen other YA authors rave about her, though it's not clear to me how much of this is liking the books and how much liking her. Either way, she's got a community (and readers) who give her validation, and if the film of her book has been panned it will be pretty easy for her and her fans to take this as the result of adaptation decay rather than a reflection on the source material.

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Dan H

at 13:11 on 2013-09-03To be fair to Cla(i)re, I do think she's improved over the years. City of Bones was a gigantic incoherent mess. City of Ashes was a slightly less incoherent mess, City of Glass and Clockwork Angel were sort of okay. I mean they still had all of the annoying stuff that I'd expected from Clare's writing, but they actually told a story that made some modicum of sense.

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Alice

at 13:52 on 2013-09-03Either way, she's got a community (and readers) who give her validation, and if the film of her book has been panned it will be pretty easy for her and her fans to take this as the result of adaptation decay rather than a reflection on the source material.

This should be taken with a massive pinch of salt and a [citation needed], but the impression I got was that during the film production process, Clare had talked a lot about how closely involved with the film she was, but once it became clear the film was a flop, she backpedalled and began downplaying her involvement.

Then again, she's not in the business of making films, she's in the business of selling books, and she's pretty good at that.

And I have seen other YA authors rave about her, though it's not clear to me how much of this is liking the books and how much liking her.

Wasn't Maureen Johnson accused of being part of a YA Mafia (including Johnson and Clare) who were somehow all in cahoots and conspiring to get each other published? Because there happened to be a bunch of (aspiring/new) YA authors living in NYC at the same time who were friends and liked to hang out and write together, and happened to all get published to varying degrees of success/popularity? It all seemed a bit storm-in-a-teacup-ish to me, because, well, they were all in the same business, in the same city, and about the same age. And once two or three people become friends they're likely to make friends with each other's friends, especially if you're all in the same boat like that. And sure, they might have been able to help each other with getting agents and that sort of thing, but that's not quite the same thing as getting your friend published & on the bestseller list...

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http://alula-auburn.livejournal.com/

at 19:51 on 2013-09-03I've found the commercials amazingly bad, even for the parameters "that type of thing." Like, it's possible I've blocked it out, but I don't recall the Twilight ads looking so badly put together, in terms of picking out lines to quote or images to use.

Of course, I don't quite see how all the people involved in making a film didn't get the difference between something like Harry Potter or Twilight, which for better or worse penetrated the wider culture (even my extremely pop-cultural illiterate dad could identify Harry Potter as something with a school of wizards, and Twilight as vampires) and this--I think if you didn't have at least some sense of what the books were about the commercials would look even more pointless. (Which was kind of how I felt about the other YA fantasy flop? Beautiful Creatures? Southern accents and witches or something? I still don't know.)

I've not read the TMI (lol) books, but I did read the somewhat-annotated Draco trilogy in an overwrought, sleep-deprived unmedicated-for-a-chronic-pain-condition haze, and I can vaguely see how her style could be sort of compelling for the right sort of pretentious youthful mindset. (I didn't know about the plagiarism stuff then--I barely had a sense of fandom; I was a total naif.) But how it's held up to much more than that I don't know. I also don't know anything about TMI fandom--if the books have much if any staying power outside either that brief, pretentious adolescent window (which can almost be endearing in its own way) or the somewhat incestuous-seeming YA reviews. But there are adults, I guess, who find the ponderous self-absorption of the Twilight books (at least, that's the tone I saw in the quoted lines I read) to be good and profound writing.

That said, I find John Green tiresome and the bit of Maureen Johnson I read didn't do much for me. I don't know if I've had bad luck lately in my YA choices (I read Thirteen Reasons Why because I got it for free), but I've seen a lot more of that faux-deep heavy tone, which to me does not indicate a "maturing" of YA. (But I have personal reasons to be snippy about "literary" YA, so.)

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Alice

at 20:44 on 2013-09-04I've found the commercials amazingly bad, even for the parameters "that type of thing."

I don't know that I thought they were that unusually terrible (within the parameters of "that type of thing", at least), but I was confused by the number of English accents on display, particularly Jace's. Is he meant to be/sound English*, or is it just that Jamie Campbell Bower can't do a US accent?

*I don't remember him being pegged as English in the book, but I read that years ago and don't remember the details.

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Cammalot

at 21:42 on 2013-09-04One odd thing -- virtually every review I've read of this film has complained that Jayce is "a thousand years old" or similar and either doesn't act it, or shouldn't be macking on Clary at his age. Is that something that the film made particularly confusing? I don't recall him or any other forefront character being anything like an immortal in the book -- I mainly remember Isabelle being 14 and acting a bit precociously vampy.

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Dan H

at 19:26 on 2013-09-05@Alice

That confused me as well. I don't think I've ever *heard* him do an American accent, but the guy is an actor, surely he can learn? Is it that Valentine has an English accent because he's the villain, and Jace has an English accent because he was raised by Valentine? Or am I giving the film too much credit.

@Cammalot

One odd thing -- virtually every review I've read of this film has complained that Jayce is "a thousand years old" or similar and either doesn't act it, or shouldn't be macking on Clary at his age. Is that something that the film made particularly confusing?

*Everything* in the film is particularly confusing. The film makes no real attempt to explain anything, and there's one line where Jace says something about his people having been doing something "for a thousand years" and the way he says it I can see why somebody who wasn't familiar with Cla(i)re's work might think he was talking from personal experience.

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Fishing in the Mud

at 00:04 on 2013-09-06Fanon Draco must retain his English accent to remain fuckworthy. This point is not negotiable.

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Dan H

at 01:14 on 2013-09-06A tiny part of me is *incredibly* sad that they didn't cast Tom Felton as Jace.

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Cheriola

at 04:31 on 2013-09-06

While I agree that the wish to sexualise teenagers is probably part of the practise of

Dawson Casting

, the reasons for it are also based in labour laws. It's much less of a hassle to work with adults who can work a full day and don't still have to get high school lessons on the side / won't suddenly leave the franchise in order to start college. And you don't run into problems like the Harry Potter movies with teen actors who age faster than their characters or suddenly look a lot different than their characters are supposed to. (e.g. the actor playing Neville became quite handsome.) Plus, even if there is the occasional prodigy, most actors really do need drama school before being anywhere close to good enough to portray actual characters, instead of just being 'cute'.

Clearly Valentine was extraordinarily sexually precocious (even if we ignore the fact that Collins and Campbell-Bower are the best part of a decade older than the characters they portray, Rhys-Meyers' Valentine would still have to have started breeding at nineteen to have two seventeen-year-old kids).

Really? It's considered "precocious" to be a horny 19-year-old egomaniac who doesn't use condoms? Seems in keeping with the power-high invincibility complex and the lack of care for other people's problems that usually characterise a stereotypical villain like that. I mean, it's not him that would have to care the baby, unless he wants to.

Also, the scene with the ring is also pretty much the first time we learn the surnames of either Valentine or Fanon Draco.

I've skim-read the book article to know what you're even talking about, and... Wait, his surname is Morgenstern?! She took a character who was a blatant Hitler metaphor and made him ethnically Jewish? That... Wow.

One can only hope that she simply wanted a German name (because all Germans are Nazis...) and thought it would be cute to use one that doubled as a Lucifer reference (it means "morning star"), and that she simply didn't do any research on German name origins. [It's one of those names that the Jewish population of the Holy Roman Empire chose when they were forced to adopt surnames in the 18th century. Usually it's pretty-sounding compound words not refering to a profession - like Goldblum(e) ("golden flower"), Bernstein ("amber") or Lilienthal ("valley of lilies").]

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Fishing in the Mud

at 11:55 on 2013-09-06I think some reviewer pointed out that the "Morgenstern" thing is one more reason the film won't work for anyone old enough to remember

Rhoda

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Alice

at 14:09 on 2013-09-06I've skim-read the book article to know what you're even talking about, and... Wait, his surname is Morgenstern?! She took a character who was a blatant Hitler metaphor and made him ethnically Jewish? That... Wow.

Well, Cassandra Clare is herself Jewish, so I imagine she was aware of what she was doing when she introduced the Morgenstern reference (along with its cultural/historical baggage). :-)

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Cheriola

at 15:37 on 2013-09-06Really? Huh. Well, it's her right then, I suppose. I just wonder what went through her mind that she thought saying "Yeah, our guys could be just as bad, given half a chance" and feeding into 'zionists want world domination' myths was a good idea.

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Arthur B

at 15:43 on 2013-09-06Is it not possible for Clare to be both Jewish

and

ignorant of the name's history, so she plucked a name which sounded German to her out of thin air without researching it?

I suspect she was going for the "Morgenstern = Morning Star = Lucifer" deal rather than the "Morgenstern = Jew" angle, after all.

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Alice

at 16:14 on 2013-09-06Is it not possible for Clare to be both Jewish and ignorant of the name's history, so she plucked a name which sounded German to her out of thin air without researching it?

I suppose it's possible, but I'd honestly be very surprised if she didn't read Morgenstern as sounding Jewish, even if she didn't know about the historical origins of the name.

I suspect she was going for the "Morgenstern = Morning Star = Lucifer" deal rather than the "Morgenstern = Jew" angle, after all.

Yeah, same. I suppose the thing with Morgenstern is that it's an obvious enough reference that her readers are fairly likely to catch it (and feel all clever and intellectual), while still being a recognisable surname. (She could have used the Greek form if she'd wanted to be more pretentious than usual, but "(h)eosphoros" doesn't really lend itself to turning into a surname that's easily pronounceable in English.)

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Dan H

at 17:53 on 2013-09-06

Really? It's considered "precocious" to be a horny 19-year-old egomaniac who doesn't use condoms?

I was thinking more of the scenario in which he'd started having kids at eleven rather than nineteen (and I'm using "precocious" here in the sense of "premature" rather than "talented"). Although even nineteen doesn't *really* make sense if we look at the way that the history is played up - it's never suggested that Valentine got Jocelyn pregnant accidentally, or that he had kids unusually young.

Valentine is clearly *supposed* to be in his early forties at least, it's just that then he wouldn't be in the narrow window during which Hollywood decrees actors the right age to be sexy.

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Alasdair Czyrnyj

at 23:07 on 2013-09-11

oh my what a shame who could have forseen rhubarb rhubarb

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Fishing in the Mud

at 02:03 on 2013-09-12Yeah, if it hasn't managed to turn a profit in a good three weeks, I don't blame anyone for backing off. The standards for bestselling books are a whole lot lower than for movie blockbusters.

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Dan H

at 16:02 on 2013-09-12

The standards for bestselling books are a whole lot lower than for movie blockbusters.

I assume you mean "the revenues expected from bestselling books are a whole lot lower than the revenues expected from movie blockbusters". Because for most other expectations (plot, characterization, that sort of thing), bestselling books and blockbuster movies are pretty much on par.

Also: I've been poking around the forums on Rotten Tomatoes and some of the discussions are hilarious. I particularly like the people complaining about Jace having a British accent, and the other people saying "No, that makes sense. They grew up in Idris, which is in Europe, so they'd naturally have picked up British accents."

Because all European people have British accents, you guys.

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Cammalot

at 20:11 on 2013-09-12

Because all European people have British accents, you guys.

I've long enjoyed listening to the variety of accents with which Swedish people speak English. (This is a tangent, but not a joke. There was a little honest-to-goodness rivalry in one of my classes between the ones who'd learned with a North American/U.S. accent and the ones who'd learned received pronunciation [capitalize?] -- two of these were siblings on opposite sides -- and they all ganged up on the lone Norwegian.)

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Dan H

at 22:37 on 2013-09-12

This is a tangent, but not a joke.

Three Swedes walk into a schwa?

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Shim

at 23:10 on 2013-09-12

Three Swedes walk into a schwa?

...and say "əw!"?

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Fishing in the Mud

at 01:16 on 2013-09-13

I assume you mean "the revenues expected from bestselling books are a whole lot lower than the revenues expected from movie blockbusters".

Right, sorry about the word salad. Yesterday was a long day.

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http://elsurian.livejournal.com/

at 05:24 on 2013-09-13In the halcyon days of 2008

Jesus Christ, has this franchise really been around for 5 years?

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Cammalot

at 18:13 on 2013-09-13

Three Swedes walk into a schwa?

Hee.

I want to make some sort of vegetable-based pun now, but I got nothin'.

Jesus Christ, has this franchise really been around for 5 years?

And going on what, nine books? (Gotta admire the productivity.)

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Dan H

at 19:05 on 2013-09-13Is anybody else feeling really freaking old right about now?

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Cammalot

at 19:55 on 2013-09-13Yes!

(Although that's partly because at today's freelance gig, I just met a coworker who was born my first year of college.)

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Dan H

at 21:58 on 2013-09-13Ouch.

I'm particularly looking forward to our next couple of GCSE intakes, which will be the point at which I start working with people who were born in the 21st century.

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Fishing in the Mud

at 00:44 on 2013-09-14Yeah, I just found out half the people I report to directly at work are younger than I am.

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#Ferretbrain #Cassandra Clare #The Mortal Instruments #Axis of Awful #Dan H

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