#and the quality is trash because i don't know how to edit

[thumperdaetime]

the music is punk because it challenges the norm. the clothing is punk because it challenges the norm. the politics are punk because they challenge the norm. it's not a sound, or a look, or a book, or a slogan. it's a way of thinking that puts radical acceptance and relentless pursuit of joy, face to face with a world that wants you dead. you can't put a price on it. the disabled woman that says "fuck it people know I can't hold my blatter anyway. I don't care if they can tell I'm wearing the rehab-provided brief. Get me my bright lipstick I'm going to bingo!" is flexing the same muscles as the suburban white boy who steals eyeliner from his conservative mother. they are both people using identity, to create joy and signal comradery in lonely times, reputation be damned.

not to mention, all of the clothes I have been able to afford new when I was in my poorest moments were shit quality anyway. anything you can do to extend the lifespan of a physical object that was made under the modern fast fashion system past "thrown out, unsold at the store" is a win. in the same way that any pressure you can keep against an actively bleeding wound is a win. cloths are a common class of tools we use to help regulate our comfort, with that is with the temperature or our cave-mates. if the clothes make you feel uncomfortable they are already useless. it is already trash. why not try anything to see if it works? there are intelligent capable people across the centuries who died dreaming of what to do with once gorgeous expensive trendy fabric, that will now look dated and trashy outside of "the spring of '32 when i fell in love with jazz." or whatever the kids are into these days. the stupid walmart blazer you took a chance on 2 years ago but now feel "too X to wear" is no different. either you trash it now, or live with that trash in your home until your kids do it for you, while crying about how they always thought you looked good in that color. you might as well see if there's enough fabric to re-make that halter top you loved in college. when it looks homemade you get to boast and explain all about how you're trying to make shit better in little ways. and who cares if it fails? Aren't you deserving of a little petty violence? when the last time you really didn't give a shit about seam Ripping and just went to town? don't you want to be able to yell at something with no moral consequences? so much in this world is complicated and nuanced and requires forethought and responsibility. Wouldn't it feel nice to have a hobby that lets you get reasonably angry at evil fabric for not doing the thing, and then you can just throw it and swear, and then never have to think about it again. because it doesn't matter. it was already cheep plastic made to feed a system that would rather watch the world burn than lose a shareholder. you eat credit cards a year. you can not hurt wasted disposable plastic more than it will hurt you.

and then if it works you have a cute top to wear around places to show you are the kind of person who has cool tops! and help you ease people into the idea that a political movements starts with people deciding what things they inherited they actually want to keep around. and then maybe one day you cut apart and re-make out of nice quality fabric, with the mistakes you learned from the first one. so you can weaponize your ability to present yourself as ""respectable"" when you have to play the politics game in big official ways.

or (imagine this) you can even use your new knowledge of what types of edits you often make to clothing to buy a quality garment that will be more worth investing in. Ones that are made in ways that add value to their communities will feel good on your body from day one, and you can be mened and adapt in ways that may let it outlive you.

or maybe you elevate that shity, guilt ridden- shirt out of the gym lost and found on the last day of freshman year, because "fuck it- I liked that middle-school library fit. and Its a size too small but I'm bound to get thinner eventually. and I don't think its actually stealing if no one else wants it." Maybe if you make it into a statement piece scrap in your favorite "look I'm not happy about it either!" outfit, to show that you want to fuck with the systems in a "hey we should still have A Library tho right?" sort of way. you might run into the middle school girl who gets to break the ice with a fellow "cool garment person" friend. and she gets to laugh about your shirt deadnaming her. and you get to apologize and offer to let her sign something over it. and now you are advertising the formative art of a local queer-punk-artisan who you know is also out there trying her best to make the shitty stuff a little less shitty when they can, even if it means learning how to thread a sewing machine.... eventually.... hopefully.

also, as a person who has spent about a decade trying to figure out ways to keep kids of all ages informed and prepared and enriched on a budget. "Tug of War turned tie-dye Party" would of been a smash hit, my queer and rural in the 90's type parents would have loved it. after growing up with Halloweens filled with pieced-together costumes that made room for sensory issues and accessibility aids. and family "vacations" taken on public land with what's left of the food stamps. i think there is definitely a market for how to teach your children the fundamentals of serving in a world that might find their misery profitable. without like... terrafing them.

imagine how much easier alot of it would have been if someone early in your life had sat you down and said "ok. a lot of times things are going to be bad and unfair and evil. and there's going to be complicated reasons you cant do much about it but feel bad. but if you feel bad all the time it will only get worse. so what you can do is take what is around you, figure out what it is and how it works and why it's there, and then break it in ways that are meaningful and delibrite. and re-shape it to help the actual people who are trying survive."

then they showed you and all of your little friends how to research, what fabric is and understand why you bought supplies, and then get their hands dirty testing how strong it is, and why jeans have rivets even when you want to sew right there. and re-asure them that it's ok you paved the way to make sure they can't hurt anything too bad even if they are really really bad at it. and then let them find joy and pride in making something unique and custom with their own tools for the cost of cleaning out a closet, and some rite dye.

and then the community has a couple new little baby punks making decent folks smile with little bold fashion statements, and turning heads when they experiment with which parts of society they want to bring into the new age. tl;dr: I think we need to start telling the “I’m too poor to dress punk” crowd that they’re posers. -polyamorouspunk, November 2024, tumbr.com

I think we need to start telling the “I’m too poor to dress punk” crowd that they’re posers.

[magicwhiskers29]

I had an epiphany whilst writing

[thehigherseekerastro]

Astrology Observations: Non-chart Edition 💻

This is just a quick post, a short list of astrology opinions – my own –, about the world of astrology online itself, not the actual placements described, but that I think are worth noting to help better analyze and understand the astrology content found on the internet. Enjoy!

(♠) (♠️) (♠️) (♠️) (♠️) (♠️) (♠️) (♠️) (♠️) (♠️)

Beware of "roasting placements" posts –

regardless if it's on Tumblr, X or TikTok. Those are VERY broad "descriptions" (if we can call it that). Anybody who understands how astrology works would never generalize to such a level that they think they can roast an entire placement, as if there was only one possible manifestation for that placement. There's an entire chart that is very unique to everyone. Your (and other people's) chart can be set up in a way that makes you behave the complete opposite of that stereotype, so people can't just be accusing others of things without knowing them lol.

Not to mention that they are usually plain rude and ignorant for no reason, just to be spiteful.

Astrology is not "Projection Land" –

so don't use it to, nor fall for someone else doing it. It's nobody's excuse to trash their ex, their mother, the friend they had a falling-out with, through you, making you feel horrible about yourself, just because they are projecting their own feelings onto a particular placement.

So, yes, there are patterns to signs, placements and even elements, but that needs to be handled with a lot of responsibility. It needs careful analysis, and the person needs to be able to separate their personal grievances from the actual information before they vomit their disdain on the internet where anyone can see. I always make sure to include a blend of positive and negative POSSIBLE manifestations of placements, and I make that clear, so that people know it's a MAYBE, and also not about everyone. It's not to insult others, more so to inform them of what you should be aware of IN CASE THEY ENCOUNTER IT.

So the people who are like "X-Y-Z placements are TRASH!!!! I dated so and so and it went horribly blah blah blah"...

Keep on scrolling. Move along. They're bitter and they're either trying to make you feel horrible too or antagonize you against someone else. Remember: misery loves company.

Don't use astrology to save face either –

so don't be hyping up your own toxic trait that is in fact present to excuse yourself.

"Oh, Tauruses are stubborn," (stereotype) "but that's because they are consistent and see things through."

NO, BABY. Tauruses are consistent AND they can be annoying as hell with their stubbornness and acting a fool, but still refusing to act right. The two things can coexist.

If you happen to manifest one of the more challenging stereotypes of a placement, it's not there for nothing. It's a lesson for you to work on and heal as soon as you're made aware of it. So don't be using astrology to justify staying in your troublesome habits just because there might be a quality attached to it. That's not maturing and growing. Growing is realizing all things work in balance, and there's downsides and potential to most things. So hone the positive aspects of that placement, but continue to try to heal the challenging ones.

Avoid astrology content creators who use their blog/profile as their little Burn Book –

just attacking people and placements right and left. "This sign is manipulative!", "that planet in such house is a jealous and bitter person!", "females with such rising are fake!".

They don't know shit. They just want to air out their anger. If you absorb it, that's on you. So, if you notice somebody only has negative things to say all the time and never praises anybody... RED FLAG.

And yes, I'm also talking about the people who exclusively make content like "How will your relationship end based on your 12H in Composite", "Synastry aspects that indicate you will be cheated on", "Signs of a narcissist in a birth chart", and just overall fear-mongering and negativity.

Avoid astrology content creators who use their blog/profile as a space to boast and compliment themselves –

because it also happens often, and it's usually a combo with the previous one I mentioned above. They shit on everyone else, but the placements they love and praise are ~ coincidentally ~ their own.

If you see a take that starts with defending or praising a placement a lot and it is followed by "because we are...", I'd immediately log off.

It's one thing to speak from experience and empathize. It's another to be like "Virgos aren't judgemental, because I'm a Virgo and I'm the best person on the planet, you're the problem if we don't like you!"

Again, people who cannot be self aware should not be sharing advice or opinions on other people. They're attention seekers. And surprisingly, it's often NOT the people with Leo placements.

CAUTION WITH THIS ONE, as I'm making a broad observation that is not describing everyone, just a pattern I see often, but my perspective could be limited here –

like I said, from most problematic posts I've seen, and I've seen quite a few, it's not from people with the stereotypical "egotistic and self obsessed" signs, like Leo, or even other fire signs.

I've seen it most often happen with people over-praising their personal EARTH placements, and then attacking everyone else.

Which to me makes sense, because when an Earth placement is great, they're GREAT! But when they're not... Good luck convincing them that they are just a human being and aren't better than everybody else and always right. You'd have to be constantly hammering the cold harsh reality on their face 24/7 to keep them humble. (A job only fire sign placements are up to, bc they don't give a shit if you're offended, and don't get tired of having to fight to death).

Earth signs being preceded by fire signs means their need for validation and praise is often hidden from plain sight, but it's deep within them. And being opposed by water signs can mean falling into delusions of how they actually impact the outside world, often overestimating their value.

So if you mix that with the Earth practicality and pragmatism, it becomes very hard for them to see that they will not feel more in control if they criticize everyone else around. It's them judging themselves, but not knowing how to deal with that self-hatred, so they project it onto others. Just because one got a lot to say doesn't mean they should, nor that what they have to say is correct. People CAN be loud and wrong, and these types of folks over here on these posts often are.

The top 5 most judgemental and lacking self-awareness I've seen here on Tumblr are:

Virgo

Capricorn

Aquarius

Sagittarius

Taurus

Apply it to (rising, sun, moon, Mercury and Mars).

PS: This is very specific within the context of astrology content creators. I'm not saying all of the people from those signs and element are like that, or attacking them personally.

Women are not perfect. Men are not inherently bad –

so also be cautious of people who trash any type of men, regardless of their sign, planet or houses, but claim only the women of that sign are good.

Yes, we know that, systemically, our society is patriarcal and men's toxic behaviors tend to be encouraged, so it's not uncommon to run into issues with masculinity. Regardless of that, men are human beings. And so are women. Everyone has potential for good and bad inside them.

"Cancers - all the men are cheaters and manipulators! But the women are the sweetest people you will ever meet!"

No. Cancer when it's expressed in its most toxic side is highly manipulative and fake. Which is historically a "skill" used by women to survive in this world. So if you run into a "good Cancer man", he will be a light in your life. If you run into a "bad Cancer woman", that'll be even worse, because she will be a horrible person, all the while projecting an image of innocence and acting like she has no idea what you're talking about and is just a sweet victim.

(just look at Ariana Grande, for example, and her history of cheating on her partners with other men who were ALSO in committed relationships at the time, ever since she was 21, but she always tells her stories as if she's the one getting unfairly bullied and that people are making stuff up about her.

I'm not making personal judgements about her, because I don't know her personally. I'm just using her as an example of the same cheater-manipulator dynamic people attribute to all Cancer men, applied to a Cancer woman).

Use your critical thinking skills. Again, that's a projection. Specially if someone goes as far as making an extreme comment like "ALL MEN of the zodiac are trash"... That's clearly a lot of bitterness, hurt, and bad PERSONAL experiences, that they are now vomiting onto the internet.

Men and women are equally beautiful creatures, each dealing with their own sets of potential and challenges. Astrology doesn't pick and choose, and certainly does not care about hookup culture or the dissolution of human relationships in the 21st century.

Just because someone is talking about spiritual practices does not mean they are evolved –

anybody can talk about anything. That means nothing. Does not mean evolution. Does not mean maturity. Does not mean understanding. Does not mean knowledge. Does not mean awareness.

So don't think that just because someone has an astrology blog or they say they're an astrologer that means they are some evolved soul, wise beyond their years and with only good intentions. Oftentimes, people will obsess over analysing others to avoid taking a long hard look at themselves.

As I've given many examples here, many people can be using astrology to live out the most childish and troubled parts of their personalities and character. And instead of identifying those challenges in their chart – since they claim to be such fans of astrology – and working on them, they prefer to hop online and start pointing fingers at other people and their lives.

Now, let's also exercise our own empathy here and understand that sometimes those people themselves don't even realize their struggle. They're a human, after all. So it's up to you to curate what you consume and how you consume it. Don't discredit people's experience, but also, do a background check on the info before you internalize it, because a lot of the times people will be hurting you without realizing they're just looking for company in their sadness. They'll convince themselves they're helping.

Be conscious in YOUR OWN spiritual journey and learning. Know who YOU are. And then other people become helpers along your path, not the commanders of your destiny.

That is it, my dears. I hope this was clear to understand and it was helpful. Hopefully, it will aid in your understanding of things when you come across astrology posts online, leaving you less confused as to what is and isn't pertinent. And I hope it sends you on a path towards good and love.

Be well! ❤️

MASTER LIST

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + headcanons, Part 4 (Jin & Yin, Ao Lie, Tripitaka, Bai He)

- He/Him, He/They

- Pansexual, Bisexual

- They both have chronic separation anxiety, its why they're never apart; Yin tends to go non-verbal and more withdrawn without Jin, and Jin gets really agressive and paranoid without Yin. 

-  Yin can't sleep if he has nerves, Jin can do nothing BUT sleep if he has nerves

- Jin always forgets something at home, Yin reminded him a hundred times before they left

- Yin doodles on the corner of their blueprint papers whenever they're making something new, Jin cuts them out later and glues them into a sketchbook so they don't get lost

- Jin's hips are constantly covered in bruises because he's always bumping into shit (has NO spacial awareness whatsoever)

- Yin listens to rock music, Jin doesn't have a specific genre

- Somehow are simultaneously the most innocent and dirty minded people, you'll never know what you're gonna get at any given moment

- Yin always finds a way to drown in inch deep water (really bad at swimming)

- ^^^Jin laughs at him

- After they found out Mei and MK didn't like eachother as anything more than friends, they tried to trap him in the calabash again but used Redson to try and seduce him instead, MK immediately knew it was them

- Jin was talking really fast cause he was panicking once and called the Demon accountant "Semon accountant" and has still not recovered

- Yin laughed his ass off when it happened and constantly reminds him of it

- Jin likes his pillow warm (he's insane)

- They both occasionally become self aware and wind up having a weird crisis trying to figure out whether their horns are a part of their skull or something else

- Both are cat people, they're terrified of dogs, being trapped in a room with one is one of their worst nightmares

- Neither of them has clean hair, it is a fucking rock you will not be able to comb that shit out

- Jin rants about new ideas, Yin writes/draws them down

- Yin will bite you if you get near him while he's eating, bro's feral

- Jin stubs his toe atleast three times a day and screams in agony every. Single. Time. Eventually Yin just stopped running to check on him, it's happened so many times that he can distinguish what Jin's scream sounds like specifically when he stubs his toe

- Yin spent several months slowly moving everything in their house slightly to the right everyday, Jin cried cause he thought he was going insane

- Jin smells like cinnamon, Yin smells like caramel (I'm delusional, they both reek)

- Jin's love language is words of affirmation, Yin's love language is quality time

- Yin is terrified of cockroaches, Jin keeps some as pets

- Jin tried to dox Mei during one of her streams, Mei showed up at their house instead, it was terrifying

- The Demon accountant has to use a pressure hose to wash them

- They were banned from the arcade but they kept showing up begging to be unbanned, the staff eventually started feeling bad and let them back in

- Yin always throws out his drawings if they don't turn out how he wanted them to, Jin fishes them out of the trash when Yin isn't looking and keeps them in a sketchbook under his bed

- He/Him

- ??? Bisexual, probably

- Favourite animal is a leaf slug, it just feels right

- Mei's number one supporter

- Ate a strawberry once and found a worm inside, never ate strawberries again

- Constantly bothered Zhu Bajie during their Journey to the west, he thought it was funny seeing him get upset

- "I swear to buddha, if you ask me 'why' one more time" " Why?"

- Wukong pulled a bug out of his hair once and he freaked out and made Tripitaka go through his hair for him

- Heaviest sleeper of the group, when he falls asleep he is OUT,

- Has horrible bed head and his hair takes forever to comb out

- Really bad at math

- Wakes Tripitaka up in the middle of the night to ask the dumbest questions

- Refuses to wear shoes, he's in his horse form for most of their Journey anyway so he doesn't see the point in having any at all

- Would absolutely down a container of melatonin gummies if he had the opportunity

- Had to comfort Wukong while he puked after chugging a gallon of salt water once

- Mei gets her ':3' face from him

- Trips over his hair as much as his sleeves, no matter how much of his hair he ties up somehow it always ends up in his face or under his foot and he's down

- Follow up on the last headcanon, he's tried to cut his hair before to stop this from happening, it did not work, his hair grew back really fast

- He's like a cat, if you tell him not to push something over, he'll push it over

- Favourite colour is actually rose gold, but green is a very close second

- DBK let him hold Redson after the Samadhi removal ritual was over and Ao Lie immediately dropped him (DBK caught him before he hit the ground, but Ao Lie was banned from holding him again)

- Can eat an entire buffet and not gain a single pound

- Smells like Mint

- Love language is physical touch

- Chews on his sleeves when he's bored

- Gets along surprisingly well with Nezha despite Nezha's and Ao Bing's history

- Really good at singing

- Since he's a water Demon, he gets overheated really easily in the sun so whenever they come across any kind of water (river, pond, puddle, etc) he'll just flop sideways and lay there for like 20 minutes to cool down

- Actually thought Mei was his sister for a minute until he realized it wasn't her when they first met

- He/Him

- AroAce

- Sometimes gets visons and dreams of his life as the Golden Cicada

- Tripitaka, Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujin can see what their descendants/reincarnations are up to

- He cried on Freenoodles wedding day... it was not of joy, Zhu Bajie also threw up several times

- Once joked about having to shave all of Wukongs fur off now that he's a Monk and Wukong cried

- Absolutely HATES when people enter a room before knocking

- Would probably be scared of popping candy if he ever heard them (bubblegum, pop rocks, etc)

- Hates when people fold the corner of a page as a bookmark

- Constantly corrects people's spelling; "it's 'you're' not 'your' "

- Can't stand the sound of people chewing with their mouths open

- Has naturally long lashes

- Weak ass ankles

- Tried to teach Wukong how to read and gave up in a few hours because he refused to pay attention

- Cries whenever someone brings up his and Zhu Bajie's pregnancy, it's what keeps him up at 3am (if you haven't read JTTW, I'm sorry that this is how you found out)

- Surprisingly has a really good singing voice

- Always writes in cursive and no one can read it

- Understands cicadas

- In JTTW (chapter 39, i think) Tripitaka encountered a demon who impersonated him so well that even with his golden vision Wukong couldn't tell them apart and mistakingly attacked the real one, Tripitaka still gets nightmares about Wukong almost killing him

- Favourite colour is yellow

- Smells like oranges

- Love language is words of affirmation

- Has little freckles

- Extremely texture picky

- Vegetarian

- Has almost lost his hat (???) multiple times due to being kidnapped so often, it's a miracle he hasn't lost it yet

- Loves watching the sunset

- VERY light sleeper

- Smiled at Redson once, who immediately burst into tears (He could see that Tripitaka was the golden cicada and got scared), Tripitaka freaked out and also started crying while trying to calm him down

- She/Her

- Ally

- Has stretch marks as a result of her bones and skin being stretched out while she was possessed by the Lady Bone Demon

- White streaks in her hair from the possession

- Even after being freed from the Lady Bone Demon, her skin was never quite right, always too pale or too cold, with little snowflake markings here and there just barely visible

- Always cold, she has to wear multiple layers of clothing to help deal with it, doesn't matter how hot it is outside, she's always wearing something warm

- Has eyebags because she gets recurring nightmares about the Lady Bone Demon and hardly gets any sleep anymore

- Has very faint freckles

- Definitely believes/believed in those "spells to turn you into a mermaid/fairy/vampire" YouTube videos

- Made potions as a kid (it's windex, food dye, and glitter mixed together)

- Probably collects rocks

- Mei and Macaque taught her how to scam other kids in roblox

- Used to believe that if you ate a seed it'd grow in your stomach and had a meltdown when she accidentally swallowed watermelon seeds

- "Guys, stop swearing!" Whenever someone says "Frick", "Heck", "Dang"

- Cut her own hair once when she was really little, it was a disaster

- Eats whatever anyone gives her

- LOVES kumara

- Always eats lucky charms for breakfast but she'll pick out all the actual cereal so she just has milk and marshmallows

- Her dad is Pigsy's boar rival from across the street

- Loves street food, especially tanghulu and cheese tea

- Chews on her sleeves

- Smells like vanilla

- Love language is quality time

- OBSESSED with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and watches it on repeat (she once compared MK to Donnie because they both fight with staffs)

- Has a charm bracelet with personalized charms she made for everyone she likes/loves

- Loves orbeez and has a heart shaped orbeez lamp that she uses as a night light (I had one as a kid, it was awesome and I miss it very much)

- Dyes the white streaks in her hair pink, but they fade pretty quick so they have to be re-dyed frequently

- Has a tooth gap

- Her favourite flowers are chrysanthemums

[hussyknee]

Put off reading Kushiel's Legacy thinking it would be vaguely racist harem-fantasy BDSM smut in high fantasy dressing. Instead I got feminist George R. R. Martin if he was less racist and skeezy.

You need to take notes to follow all the names and I can barely keep up with who's doing what and the author has never heard of cutting to the goddamn chase, but good God you get so invested in the characters within a hundred pages that it sends you reeling when they die. I'm only at 200 out of 500 pages but I'm so fucking gutted that I stopped reading to skim the rest of all three books to see whether any of my other favourites were going to die and who I should be braced for dying because good fucking god. I'm even heartbroken about characters that died before the book!

It really sneaks up on you because this book is so dense and crammed with so much detail that you don't realize you've begun to really love the characters. The fuckton of foreshadowing probably didn't register because they're front and center like main characters would be, so you're not prepared for them to die in the middle. And Phedre lives such a happy, sheltered life that it's a genuine shock when it all gets blown up.

I want them back. I like Joscelin, but he isn't them. Jacqueline Carey how could you. 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh btw, this series is also gay as shit. Heterosexuality doesn't seem to exist and it's so unremarkable it didn't even occur to me that this is a full-on LGBT series. It's not like in fanfic, when even in stories where queerness is universal and unremarked in-universe there might as well be a giant fuck you rainbow flag over it all. In Kushiel's Universe it's just so matter-of-fact that you realize this could actually have been what society was like in the past when the Church wasn't all up in everybody's business. Sure, in this universe there's a hippie Jesus that followed regular Jesus who was all flower power and free love and founded alternate universe France, so that nobody has any sexual hang ups, homo or otherwise (much like regular medieval France Ig), but even if there were, everybody's either too rich to give a shit or too poor to care (also like regular medieval France). It feels historically accurate somehow. Idk. But this book came out in 2001. Eat that, GRRM, with your two male gays and off-screen lesbians.

Edit: Just checked the AO3 tag and. Sigh. You know a book isn't trashy when it only has 350 works on AO3. Fanfic runs on trash and guilty pleasure, not sensitive and quality story-telling.

[therentyoupay]

Hellooo! Sending this ask purely because I need someone to kick my butt into writing gear :'D but how do you manage writing without getting bogged down with self-doubt? My brain has the tendency to cripple my creativity and then I convince myself that the writing is trash. Even though no one but me is reading it at the moment.

HELLO LOVELY! ✨ i'm so sorry it's been so long since you sent this ask; i've been bogged down with academia but i promise i have been pondering your ask for these past three months now!!

honestly, this semester i'm relying on a lot of similar strategies for overcoming self-doubt in my dissertation writing process right now that i used to experience with my fanfiction (and still occasionally do, but it was a lot more prevalent in my teenage years and early 20s). regardless of the genre and context, i totally get how self-doubt can sneak in and mess with your writing and creativity and the enjoyment of the process. here are some things i do, which i'm sure lots of people have shared before, but it probably bears repeating!!

re: "trash": first of all, even trash is good. trash is SOMETHING. trash means creation and some form of use. seriously, even if you hate what you write at first, IT IS SOMETHING. remember it is generally easier to edit (even if you delete it all later) something than to create from scratch, especially if a long time has passed and you've built up the task in your head. i say let yourself write without judgment for a set period (like 10-15 minutes). don’t worry about grammar, structure, or quality. just get out your thoughts in whatever stream of consciousness makes sense to you and bypass your inner critic. this is a skill that needs to be developed and honed through practice. second, if you're bad at bypassing the inner critic at first, name it and tell it to shut up ("be quiet, reginald"), and carry on. repeat until it's actually easy, and then reginald doesn't even talk that much anymore.

separate writing and editing: on that note, write first, edit later. trying to do both at the same time can kill creativity. write freely, knowing you can refine and improve your work later. on that that note, you can always take a break from writing one thing to go write another thing and then come back to it when your head is more clear and your eyes have freshened!

set small goals: break your writing task into smaller, manageable goals. i like to set word count goals OR "write for X minutes" OR "write Y scene(s)" goals. i do this with both my dissertation and my fanfiction and my non-fic book writing, depending on the day, the deadlines, and the vibes. remember that small wins can build momentum and confidence. another thing i like to do to loosen up and get back into the swing of things via small-goal-setting is to post baby drabbles and micro-fic on tumblr!

positive self-talk: watch your inner dialogue. swap negative thoughts ("this is terrible/trash/whatever") with positive ones ("this is a draft, and it’ll get better with revision"). this is a skill!!!! practice it!!!! related: your writing may be a reflection of you in many ways, but it is not you; writing garbage on an off day does not mean that you are garbage or that your writing is always garbage. separate the skills, performance/product, and person. (and remember: garbage is still something, and you can edit it later.)

create a routine, if you can: this one doesn't quite always work for me, to be honest, due to the nature of my workday, BUT, when I'm able to do things consistently, i do like to set up a regular writing routine! consistency can help reduce anxiety and make writing feel like a natural part of your day. when i was in grad school (the first time) and working i used to write while on my commute, every day, on my phone; those of you who were with me in 2015 remember the prolific sorcery of that year. 😂

seek feedback: share your work with a trusted friend, beta reader, fellow writer, etc. sometimes you don't want to unleash your writing to the full internet right away, and that's totally fine and normal, but you still want constructive feedback. find a friend who will beta!!! they can reassure you and point out areas you might not have noticed. (and receiving and incorporating feedback is its own skill worthy of its own post, but i shall leave it for now!!)

CELEBRATE progress: i'm so serious, recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. enjoy each kudos!!! each like!! each posted fic! each drabble!! each reblog!!! each bookmark!!!! reward yourself for reaching milestones (1 kudos, 10 kudos, 10,000 kudos, 1 comment, 200 comments, 1 hit, 5 hits, 500 hits, 1 story posted, 12 stories posted) to reinforce positive behavior. 😉 basic applied behavioral analysis and behaviorist psych!! (remember: positive self-talk, setting small goals)

visualize success: i do this one all the time for basically everything in my life lol (teaching, public speaking, finishing my dissertation, book tours for my non-fic books, winning awards, finishing fics). close your eyes, and picture yourself finishing your writing project successfully. how does it feel? what do you see? who is there? how does it smell? what are you wearing? where are you? what do you hear? visualization can boost motivation and reduce fear of failure and can give you all sorts of goody feel-good chemicals. your brain literally can't tell what's real or not real sometimes, so give it something tangible to make the task feel like it's literally in your reach (because it is 😉). this is, interestingly enough, also an incredible boost for writing itself, haha.

clean something first: maybe this is just me, but clean your desk beforehand. 😂 or go to a café or something. new fresh space. but don't let yourself get distracted by that either!!

read for inspiration: read works by authors you admire to get inspired and remind yourself why you love writing. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

WRITE. WRITE WRITE WRITE. WRITE LIKE THE WIND MY LOVE.

[peachesofteal]

Hi Peach,

You seem like such a dedicated and disciplined writer. I'd love to start writing my own works, but I struggle very much with planning my stories and staying focused enough to write them.

As a young child of five or six, I used to write fanfics (mostly warrior cats) that were literally hundreds of pages long and complete with in-page illustrations, and I'm not even exaggerating. I loved writing them and it was so easy to sit down and just let the words and story flow as I went along.

I didn't plan anything so there were PLENTY of mistakes and plot holes, but I didn't care. And I think the fact that I could write anything without caring if it was bad is what made it fun. I guess, it was enjoyable because I just didn't care.

But life happened and I stopped writing for a long time. I feel so disappointed now because I'm getting back into it and it feels so daunting. I struggle with having the drive and dedication to sit down and do it. I feel like David facing Goliath everytime I open a document.

Everything I write gets trashed, and I'm just so afraid that it'll turn out bad that I never actually write much of anything. When I outline, it always feels like something is off, so I'm stuck editing and changing and altering the plot for months on end, meaning I don't get any actual work done.

But without an outline, I'm afraid my work will be scrambled and unorganized and full of embarrassing gaps in the plot and logic of the story.

Everything is in a perpetual state of not being done and it makes writing feel like such a chore. I'd love to get back to writing the way I used to, but I just don't know how.

But I stumbled across Simple Math and then your blog and then your other fics, and I was really blown away by the quality of your stories and how it felt like you actually cared about them. The writing and plots were refreshing, I actually enjoyed and cared about the characters, and I could just tell that you put a lot of effort into making the fics. I really admired the way it seems you're able to create quality literature with such confidence and ease.

However, we're all human and I'm sure you've had plenty of moments in which you struggled to write, and I'd love to know how you've dealt with them. Do have any tips when it comes to learning how to write without getting distracted or bored or frustrated? Do you mind sharing how you come up with your stories and outlines? What is the method to your madness? Please, share your secrets 🤲🏽

Sorry for the long ask, by the way; once I start talking I just can't stop myself, it seems. Also sorry for turning this ask into a psuedo-therapy session, I just wanted to give some context on why I'm asking. However, you can ignore this if you want ❤️

Regardless, (and I say again) I really love your works and I hope you have a great day 💞

Hi! Here's the only thing I can really say to you: just write!

If outlining is twisting you up, skip it. If worry about your writing being good or quality is causing you to panic and stop, push through it. Start with a blank document and ten words. Then make those ten words one hundred words, and so on and so forth. Find the thing about writing that you love (because it sounds like you do!) and use that to keep yourself going. Don't get hung up on if it will be good or if there will be plot holes, just get it out of your head and into a document. (I hope this helps even though I'm not very good at advice) Good luck!

[princesssarisa]

Autism headcanon:

The Beast/Prince Adam (Disney's "Beauty and the Beast," 1991)

*Except when he's angry, the Beast is quiet and reserved. His words tend to be few and concise. He's also a loner until Belle arrives. Not just because he hides from the outside world, as anyone transformed into a monster would do, but because he apparently spends most of his time brooding alone in his room, not even interacting much with the servants until Belle's presence brings him out of his shell.

*Despite being a prince who would presumably have learned court etiquette, he struggles at first with the most basic social skills and manners, relying on his servants to coach him. Of course this is partly the effect of the spell (he presumably didn't lap his porridge like an animal when he was human), and partly his insecurity about his appearance. But it's still relatable from an ASD perspective.

*Some of his outbursts of rage seem less like mere temper and more like meltdowns. Especially his outburst when he catches Belle in the West Wing. The way he smashes the furniture, and the way his whole body contorts with fury as he roars "GET OUUUUT!" doesn't come across as just a tantrum. It's as if the situation – his orders disobeyed, his privacy violated, the humiliation of Belle seeing his beastly lair, and above all the horror of seeing her nearly damage the magic rose – completely overwhelms him with emotion he can't control. And this clearly isn't a one-time incident. The broken furniture and torn fabrics throughout the West Wing (and of course the torn portrait of his human self) shows that throughout his years of misery under the spell, he's been prone to overpowering meltdowns where he has to vent physically. In the Special Edition of the movie, he does it again in his anguish after he lets Belle go, trashing the room which the servants had cleaned up during "Human Again."

*Also in the Special Edition and in the stage musical, it's revealed that he can barely read. This despite the fact that he was a prince who would presumably have had the best of education. Now, one interpretation of this is that he's forgetting how to read because his mind is turning increasingly bestial under the spell. But the dialogue in the musical and the Special Edition don't really support that idea. He just says that he only learned a little and long ago. Could it be that even when he was human, he had trouble with reading comprehension, as is sometimes the case for ASD children?

*At the beginning, he's messy and disheveled, and needs to re-learn how to groom himself and dress like a gentleman. Of course some people on the autism spectrum are meticulously neat and orderly, but others are just the opposite and struggle with it.

*Also at the beginning, he doesn't seem to fully comprehend other people's emotions or the way he comes across to them. For example, when he "invites" Belle to dinner, he thinks his obviously reluctant, forced politeness counts as "asking nicely" and that Belle is being unreasonable when she still refuses. Of course this could just be because he's a spoiled prince who's never had his orders refused or needed to ask nicely for anything before. But it could also imply further social difficulty.

*In general, he seems less mature than an average 21-year-old. He always has a bit of a childlike quality, at first in a "spoiled brat" way, but later in a sweet, gentle way.

*Countless fans have noted the plot parallels between Disney's Beauty and the Beast and Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. The idea that Mr. Darcy is on the autism spectrum is a very popular and understandable headcanon. Isn't it natural then that the same headcanon should apply to the Beast?

Now I know this is a debatable headcanon. I know the writers didn't set out to code the Beast as autistic. All the traits I've described above can be explained either by (a) his being spoiled, (b) his depression, or (c) his mind turning animalistic because of the spell. And I'm not entirely sure I like this headcanon myself. If we do view him as autistic-coded, then about 80% of his character arc revolves around learning to "mask" to please Belle, with the undertone of "This is the only way you can ever be loved." But he's still relatable to someone on the spectrum like me. Maybe this explains why I always defend him from those critics who view him as just an abuser. If that were the truth about him, then what would that say about those of us in the real world who see ourselves in him?

[youremyheaven]

💙

I don't have much to say except that I agree for the most part. Dating culture these days is toxic af and promotes hypersexual behaviour. You can either be a virgin or be in endless situationships bc most guys in their 20s rn think "relationships" are pointless. It's so shocking to me how men just expect to be served sex on a platter??? Like okay we'll have sex, do everything normal couples do but we won't call it a relationship and we won't commit to each other. There's a real erosion of values & principles. But on the other hand, I feel like another section of society is ultra conservative and committed to living the trad life. I don't think it's a good idea to put sex, intimacy and relationships on a pedestal. This is not to say it's not sacred. It is. But what makes something special is how we treat it. We must not elevate every experience to the godly realm because human beings are fallible and not gods and we'll only be disappointed in the shortcomings and lackings of our interaction when we expect godliness from them. People are flawed. We must love and accept each other as we are.

I'm of the opinion of that sex has become so easily available that most people don't bother forming a meaningful connection; this will lead to a sense of alienation and I'm sure 3-4 yrs from now we'll talk about how it's fcked society up. I'm actually pretty certain that there will be a time when dating apps are phased out as well. On the other hand, I don't want to think of love & romance as this once in a lifetime lottery akin to a religious experience. I believe you can love many people; people you truly profoundly connect to are probably going to be only a handful tho. Love is just love. It's like anything else. It doesn't matter if you had your first kiss at 15 or if you have it at 35. You don't have to look down upon others for indulging in things you're abstaining from.

I've been studying Tao Tantra and I realised that originally when these sexual practices were developed centuries ago, sex was understood as something that human beings needed to indulge in and good sex was considered an art in itself (hello Kamasutra), you had sex frequently and passionately but over the course of centuries, it's adopted a very puritan outlook where the focus is on preserving sexual energy (Tao originated no fap) which is such bs. Sexual energy is not some finite source that you can run out of. Granted that wanking off every day is kinda loser ish but suppressing your natural human nature is unhealthy af.

I digress. Sex & love are not non renewable sources. You don't run out of it. Ever. We are wired to love & make love. That's what I believe. You can have as many or as few partners as you'd like (my issue lies only with the quality of interactions you'd have with a partner since in our world most men are trash).

You can save yourself for later. You can do it rn. Its all up to you. I know it's hard being single when you're surrounded by couples but trust me there's enough love to go around.

Edit: I feel like I just emptied my brain out without really addressing or answering anything you asked me lmao I'm sorry 😐

[heididthat]

So I did a likkle ting while taking a break from studying for my last exam of the year.

Backstory: so before my computer wiped in October and I lost all my CC and save files, I decided to make a legacy family in late to early 2023(?) (The Bure Family) consisting of mom and dad (Kandi and Landon), 3 sons (Kamden, Kalen and Karson) and a baby girl (Kamia). The plan was to have Kamden, the oldest befriend Eunjoo, the fourth of six Sung-Vale Children (I'll do more posts on their families in the future). However, they happened to have a crush on each other naturally so by their sophomore year of high school, they became official.

In their senior year, however, Kamden jumped the gun on me and spontaneously proposed to Eunjoo at the Romance Festival (this was around mid 2023). I still don't know how he managed to do that but she said yes and they've been engaged on the low (with the exception of their families knowing). After High school graduation, Eunjoo moved from her parents San Myshuno and into The Bure Family Home in San Sequoia, where she and Kamden sleep on opposite ends of the house, per his mother's request.

Joon-Su and Sangria, the Sung-Vale Parents, and The Bures both agreed that they would fully finance the wedding if Eunjoo and Kamden graduated from their postsecondary studies first. Well after a tumultuous “four years” of postsecondary studies, I'm pleased to announce that both Eunjoo and Kamden will be completing their degrees in History (Pre-Law) and Economics (Education) respectively, in the spring and have set a wedding date for this coming summer!

In celebration of their upcoming nuptials, I wanted to share some photos and gifs!

I got so excited, I was just doing whatever

The gifs:

(The quality of the second one is trash because Tumblr wouldn't let me be great lolol 🧍🏾‍♀️)

Lastly, my favourite edits of all the photos I took:

I love my sims🥰

[chattercap]

2024 Roadmap (January Edition!)

As we head into the New Year, here is my to-do list for the first half of the year! Note that if you're interested in the development of Actala, I've included a lengthy writeup regarding that project...and some comments about falling out of love with something that you used to hold dear.

The Deepwater Witch

The script for The Deepwater Witch is 100% complete and finalized, and the only thing left to do is CGs, which have been completely storyboarded. In total I have 10 to do, although I do want to take my time with them.

I won't pinpoint a concrete date for the release as there are a few quality of life features that I would like to include in the full version, such as rollback and save file renaming. However, I expect to release the full version of The Deepwater Witch around February.

And now for the other projects!

Kanau (previously "Tsunagu")

"Kanau" will be the prequel to "Karamu," set 11 years before the events of the previous installment. On his 10th birthday, Rakuo Kumode undergoes his family's initiation ceremony.

Kanau will be a mostly horror game with some romantic elements. Since it is set in the past, it will be kinetic, with switching POV protagonists.

If all goes well, I hope to release it around February/March.

(And, following the release of the prequel, I hope to release the sequel around the summer timeframe. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.)

MINDMINDMIND (previously "The Man Who Follows")

There is a man who watches you. He's been watching you for a long time. He watches, and he whispers.

MINDMINDMIND will be a psychological romance game featuring a creepy, but charming, yandere. There will be two male love interests, optional platonic/romantic endings (for one of them), and a customizable MC. I was tossing around some concept sketches for one of the LIs, Geist, earlier this afternoon.

I hope to release it around the end of March.

And last but not least...

Actala: The Hero's Shadow

This will be a bit long-winded and rambling, so skip to the bottom if you just want to know about the current status of development.

If any of you have been following, Actala was the first game that I released, around February last year. I released the demo for Steam Next Fest. It's my largest project, incorporating 5 different love interests and 6 different routes in an expansive fantasy world.

There are some people who saw Actala, played it, and supported me based on the demo alone, and for that I'm very grateful (your comments live rent-free in my mind). At the time, I was proud of it, and I tried to market it rather aggressively. However, the game didn't gain much traction, and after some bad experiences, I got rather ashamed of looking at it. I thought that it was boring, hideous, and poorly written. "How could I have ever wasted people's time with this trash?" I had once treasured that game preciously, wanting to show it off, and I started wanting to hide it in my closet where it couldn't be seen (I even thought about removing the demo from storefronts).

After that, I started working on other, smaller games. It's easier, working on smaller projects. You don't put as much effort into them, so it doesn't matter as much if they end up not meeting your expectations. (When people tell you to start small, they are correct.) My procrastination ended up being fruitful, at the very least. I think I improved a little bit in every aspect (sprite art, backgrounds, writing, GUI, and coding), and I got faster and more experienced at producing games. At the same time, I mostly put Actala development out of my mind because...I didn't want to think about trying to fix that ugly, broken thing. "I'll fix it when I'm better," I told myself. "I'll come back to it when I'm the best game dev I can be." I told myself that I would go back to it later because that was easier than accepting that I had fallen out of love with something that I had loved so much.

Around the time I was finishing scripting for TDW, I looked through my Actala scripts again to see how different my writing style had become. I was scared. How bad was it? I read it, and I realized something.

I did love it.

I remembered how much time I put into every facet of the characters - their backstories, motivations, goals, dreams, cultural backgrounds, costumes. I remembered how many timelines and lore documents that I made. I remembered how meticulously I planned the themes and messages, incorporating a lot of my own struggles with cultural identity, loss, and self-acceptance into the narrative.

Actala is a project that I care about a lot, and I want it to be perfect, but ultimately it will never be perfect. I just need to try my best with my current skills and hope that they're good enough that people can enjoy the story. So I'm ready to return to Actala's development now. I'm sorry for the delay if anyone has been looking forward to it, and I will do better in the future.

As for the current state of Actala's development, it needs a lot of work. It was originally built in Unity, and it needs to be ported over to Godot. Most of the art from the demo needs to be redrawn, simply because my sprite and background styles are VERY different now. So I'll be working on it in conjunction with my current projects, starting with refining the script, then working on sprites and CGs. I won't guarantee any sort of concrete release date for this simply because of how much work is required, but I hope to release an updated demo (with additional scenes for Rowan, Faye, Hugh, and Sei) in the summer.

Thank you to everyone who looks forward to playing my projects, and thank you again for your patience. I hope to make a lot of games this year!

[variousqueerthings]

watching a film that has the distinction of at one point being known as "the worst film in the world" and I believe is still considered "the worst german film of all time" and it's very interesting when comparing it with glen or glenda which at one point was also considered one of the (if not the) worst films in the world

structurally this is not a good film. it is not the worst film I've ever seen, it is simply very low-budget. the acting is non-existent, the camera and sound quality is cheap, and its story is a barely-there reason to showcase someone who in the early 2000s was for a time a famous german popstar, called "daniel küblböck" in the film

[EDIT: I realised after writing this that this person did actually specify "lana kaiser" as a preferred name shortly before dying, and I think that while no place -- including wikipedia -- seems to have taken that wish seriously, I've changed the name in the ways I've talked about this movie from how I did so originally. but that lack of respect is an indicator of everything that this film represents)

it's very interesting, because lana kaiser expressed several times being a trans woman, and this seems to have been not taken in by the world, to the point that post-death, lana is still referred to with he/him pronouns because... who knows for sure. watching the film that is a barely fictional depiction of lana's life (albeit with more assassination attempts than the reality, I hope) and which predates, as far as I know, lana saying any of this publicly, lana is several times depicted as gender non-conforming, both privately and onstage, and described by others in gender non-conforming terms ... and also as very desirable to women (this is the era where long-haired guys with eyeliner who sang was becoming a whole Thing). and that all ties into the discomfort that some people in the film have with lana-the-person. there are literally people asking if "he's" a boy or a girl, just as-text- and at the time lana used he/him pronouns publicly and the character in the film does too, but this is very much a gender non-conforming person, personally as well as onstage

it's interesting seeing this film in the same vein as glen or glenda, as an expression of self that goes completely over the heads of most people watching it who call it trash, while on a meta sense lana (like ed wood and the people glen or glenda is trying to humanise) was also considered trash for that expression and that type of music and stage presence (imagine that in angry grumpy judgemental voice that definitely isn't transphobic but just doesn't understand why anyone would want to do those kinds of things and kids these days and the death of good decent society and art and bad role models and grumblegrumblegrumble)

and also that some 10 years later lana commented on its distinction as the worst film of all time as "not everyone achieves that." which may have been a joke, who knows, but that is a queer distinction -- being so unpalatable to a mainstream audience that you are completely unforgettable -- to the point that there's queer academia written about it as concept

is this a good film? eh I mean, I don't think it really exists for that purpose, so it doesn't really hold value as a way of rating it. is it queer and does it feel like some of the discomfort around it and lana in general came from a discomfort with queer experimental artistic expression, making people unable to rate this movie along lines other than "good" or "bad" even as they themselves were drawn to the idea of watching something bad, but then being put off by something totally incomprehensible? ohhhohohooo yes indeed

it's also an odd one to watch knowing that "daniel küblböck" the character in it talks about the future and worries about bad things and death when you know a bit about lana's irl trajectory. it's a shockingly disquieting piece that seems to understand a lot about how gender non-conforming people are eaten up and spat out and abandoned by these systems and it feels to exist so publicly while trying to be authentic

i must therefore love it a bit, obviously

[asexualdindjarin]

Heya 1,2 and 44 for the ask meme xD with slight difference if it didnt become meme which gif you think would become such 😁

oh god I did most of this answer with links and everything and then my laptop crashed

1 - 3 favourite gifsets

Usually ones I like are flops notes wise but I had a good time at least. My favourites are this one of EEAAO because I don't really know how to blend shit properly but this turned out okay, this one of Raylan and Loretta, and this Timothy Olyphant one that I worked on for 12 hours solid and looked up and night had fallen (mentol ilnes).

2 - 3 least favourite gifsets

I've been doing this for over 10 years so I've made a lot of trash, old and new, and ones I would make differently now with higher quality video and bigger file sizes for tumblr etc. Sometimes I try stuff I don't know how to do and it just looks shite but it never stops me posting it :3

44 - gifsets that have become memes

I don't think anything has really become a meme. I have some still image edits that have been popular within a fandom, like this one from Les Mis that some kind people tried to make a meme format but it never really caught on (I think because it was already an incorrect quotes-style rather than an original meme like?). This is another still edit that got passed around and reposted enough a super cruncy screenshot came up on my Facebook newsfeed several years later lol. Strictly gif, this one is probably closest or this?

thank you for asking! idk if you wanted such a deep dive but I had fun lol

[chungwoohell]

ep: 461

RTD arc part 1

next

-Insane board game;;;;

Fans’ SNS timelines began to explode with news of TeSTAR’s limited edition board game album.

After comparing the images, the reaction became even stronger when it was said that the board game seemed to have the same appearance as the one that appeared in the teaser.

-I guess they really used it as a music video prop.

-Is it a game structure that uses a poker app? I don't know what it will feel like. Will there be a TeSTAR world view?

-They know how to sell it, really haha.

-Wow, I really need to have this.

It was mainly excitement and anticipation, but not necessarily in a good way.

This was because of the limited number.

Even if a regular edition is released in the future, it will definitely be different in composition from the limited edition.

-Just 1000?

A group that sells millions of albums?

-Don't you think about the game? Wow, the sales will be very popular.

-How can I buy this?

-The agency can't let go of T1's actions.

-I wonder if someone is from a label under that label.

Thanks to this, TeSTAR’s new agency, Stars Orbit Entertainment, finally began to receive criticism.

In fact, because they were produced in a hurry to meet the schedule, it was impossible to meet the production schedule to make tens of thousands of units.

However, there was a feeling that this negative reaction was intentionally neglected to some extent.

This was to calm down the atmosphere of excessive deification of the label in advance.

This is because it is a burdensome task for both new companies and groups.

Anyway, if the composition of the regular edition was almost the same as the limited edition, it was a complaint that would soon subside.

Moreover, because TeSTAR’s comeback itself came first, fans couldn't just focus on criticizing the agency.

For example, something like this.

-Oh, the album is USB type.

Testa's album released this time was not a CD, but a USB.

It is also a standalone composition.

It ended up being a simple set-up consisting of only an album USB, a recycled paper box, and a photo card.

-I think we will continue to make USB products in the future due to environmental issues.

-Honestly, as album sales are growing, a lot of trash is coming out 0.0

However, not being able to receive the photos and lyric book in person made people feel strangely disappointed.

In an age where online streaming has become a trend, the reason to buy an album is because having physical possessions is more meaningful.

Moreover, the small number of components felt somehow shabby.

The USB may contain photos and lyrics as data, but the fact that you can't hold it in your hand feels somewhat chilling.

-Well, 3 types via USB...

-I wish you could show me what the USB looks like.

-I wish it was a doll or something.

-No, they don't really tell you anything, but they take reservations first. Maybe they should at least release some concept photos haha.

The quality of the teaser was good, and the voice was relatively quiet thanks to the enthusiasm for the concept of continuing the teen concept of the previous album, which ended unfortunately.

But it was definitely there. The strangely depressing atmosphere created by voices of dissatisfaction.

'Ha....'

In the end, fans who cared about it deliberately tried to find something be ter.

Part of the effort was to find special content that is not usually included in CD albums and to spread the word about it on Testa's album reservation product page.

-I heard that this album includes an extended MV version. Since it is in US B format, I think I tried it at a large volume. I'm already looking forward to it.

-There is a warning regarding the QR code reader! I guess there's something to read through QR. I think I prepared a lot.

But that was the end.

No more specific information about the album has been released even as the comeback date approaches.

'What are you thinking??'

Thanks to this, even the first Homma for Park Moondae had been tearing her fingernails out.

Although the concept photo was released once, it was a comfortable teen concept similar to the previous teaser.

This means that it was decent and pretty but had nothing special.

It felt too similar to the last album.

Compared to ‘Present’, which had a 30-minute teaser, 'Better me', which had a cinematic trailer, and 'Promise', which was like a movie.......

'There was only one teaser, it was a USB album, and the composition was simple....'

It was inevitable that the scary word 'cost-effectiveness' would pass through her mind.

-I could never have imagined being treated like this at a new company.

-The back of my head is tingling~~~What did you do with the dark damp ness? After all, it was a dark dampness that only works on the mysterious Seombyeol.

-Sambyeol is now active for a week and going on tour?

-Don’t you think this title will be somewhat similar to the previous title, ‘Pose’? But now it’s worse.

(* Seombyeol is to prevent talking about TeSTAR in search results.)

Amidst the swirling emotions below.

As anxiety, agony, excitement, and anticipation intertwined, the fateful day finally arrived.

It's midnight, Testa's first comeback day under the new company. Finally, the MV... It’s released.

"...Ha."

[TeSTAR 'Roll the Dice' Official MV]

Homma took a deep breath.

The title is dice, and the thumbnail also had dice......

How far will you go?

'Is this really a board game concept? I'm worried that it's gotten to this point because I feel like I'm going crazy... No!'

Homma shook off useless thoughts and clicked on the MV with trembling hands.

"Uh?"

What appeared on the screen was... It was a wooden floor. It was the floor of the attic that appeared in the teaser just before.

But TeSTAR, who was sitting there at that time, was not there. It wasn't them that was focused.

It's a board game board.

There are tokens and cards scattered on it.

However, the impression was a bit different from when it first appeared in the teaser.

I thought it was the typical plot of dividing the space and moving forward by picking up the ground.

But looking at it like this... Rather, it is more elaborate, realistic, and feels like a blueprint for a building....

‘…A prison? Maze?'

That moment.

The camera was sucked into it.

[You have my dice]

A low voice echoed through the black field of vision.

And the screen came back again.

-Doong...!

A long row of hallways.

Built with gray stones of different contrast ratios, the place looked like part of a huge underground dungeon.

The huge rusty nameplate on the floor was briefly captured on camera.

< KIS >

-Keep It Safe

Tap, tap.

You can hear the sound of footsteps and see iron doors lined up on both sides. It’s like someone’s point of view.

'Are you a jailer?'

Then, the camera leaves again.

Hwiik.

The camera, which went into an iron door on the left and immediately approached someone, who was sitting on the floor.

The figure was wearing a white costume with a harness, a stage costume reminiscent of a straitjacket or prison uniform.

Now she saw the figure with his head slightly lowered, Homma immediately noticed.

Close your eyes... Black-haired Park Moondae.

‘Huh…!’

Because his bangs were a little long, his eyes were slightly obscured.

The moment of close-up of the pale face,

-Pipipipipipipipi….

I started hearing small noises from somewhere.

A noise that appears when a machine detects something or operates.

Then Park Moondae raised his hand with his eyes closed and hit it somewhere.

Puck.

With a screen showing a surveillance camera exploding in the air. The music explodes.

[Touch your hand

My tape is cold again]

A mid-range sound that is refreshing.

And the screen soared upwards, and eventually it went up through the dark secret room and went to an upper level somewhere.

A ray of light shone from the ceiling of the place, a lattice-lined iron cage.

The tempo rises.

[The moment my heart beats

All my senses are slow]

In that ray of light, someone sneakily came down with a rope attached to the end of the torn-off iron cage.

It is Ryu Chungwoo, wearing a tight leather suit.

As he landed, a slightly mischievous smile appeared on his face.

The drum beat mixes in, and the bass rushes heavily along with a slightly more rocking sound.

[Exciting contact

In your silent eyes

[Finding a clear answer]

As Ryu Chungwoo puts his hand to his ear, the cut changes to someone doing the same motion.

It was Kim Rae-bin wearing glasses.

[There is only one choice

Yes, take it all (one more)

Even if I lose this tight grip]

Raebin Kim, who was sitting in front of a dark monitor room, looked like a hacker or an employee.

However, he soon turned his head with an expressionless expression, as if he had no idea, and then took an awl out of his pocket and smashed the monitог.

Just before the monitor crackles and turns off.

Between the twisted viewing angles, Cha Eugene, wearing a straitjacket, looked at the camera and smiled with her fangs showing.

And then the monitor turns off and silence.

[Let's Start, a fight]

Along with the low-pitched melody, the pre-chorus exploded.

[Find it and look at its face

I don’t care what’s next]

There’s cuts of each TeSTAR member running through gray hallways, secret rooms, mazes, monitoring rooms, and other unknown conceptual places that are connect without a break.

[Chaser today again

Don’t stop your hands]

It looks cool, but the moment it seems like the incredible cut transitions to a reappeared scene so much that you can’t even tell how many cuts were taken. Then someone’s hand blocks it.

It was a hand wearing cotton gloves.

[Find out everything

Don’t be scared what’s next]

The owner of the hand was Lee Se-jin.

Lee Se-jin, wearing a navy-blue uniform, was drinking coffee and smiling.

Then he turned his head to look at the broken monitor, took the key, and left the monitor room, humming.

[Chaser tomorrow again

Don't end the twist]

And the chorus.

[Just roll the dice]

During the dance break, costumes and the background changes naturally, like a cross-edited video of stages.

From white prison uniforms to military uniforms, and then back to leather suits.

“Huh.”

How many shots did they take of this one? No, it seemed like it was more exciting than running around, but I’m sorry to say that it was better than that, but it was enough to make my heart pound.

Homma swallowed her saliva and continued watching the video.

[Trust, take my side]

In the second verse after the chorus, the story and choreography are appropriately mixed, and the video returns to its original KPOP feel.

It is a powerful performance video full of concepts.

However, I was able to understand the story in quite detail thanks to the beginning.

'Let's see... Moondae and Cha Eugene, um, prisoners? It's the same thing. Raebin and Chungwoo are phantom thieves. And is Keun Sejin the jailer?'

However, Bae Sejin and Seon Ahyeon appeared in the performance in various outfits, but they were just tilting their heads, showing they were not sure about their specific roles.

[Okay, this Final Round]

It was when the bridge melody was flowing.

The screen suddenly changes from fast tempo to long take.

What is reflected is the back of someone standing in front of a huge iron door.

The camera soon rotated halfway, revealing his true identity.

It was Bae Sejin.

'Ah, it was a phantom thief!'

He was dressed similarly to Ryu Chungwoo. That was when Homma nodded.

Bae Sejin calmly looked at the iron door and reached for the lock pad next to it.

There was a strange mechanical device that looked like a key, and I wondered if there was a close-up of its leather gloved hands.

Ugh.

Suddenly, the hand changed several times, trembling between a hand wearing a cotton glove and a hand with a scar.

"...!"

But soon returned with gloved hands.

And the moment I connected the key to the lock pad, a code entry field appeared on the machine.

[______]

‘Oh!’

Bae Sejin seemed to be smiling faintly…

-puck!

With a clicking sound, the screen disappeared.

“…??”

[Just roll the dice

Trust, take my side]

There was no next verse.

In an instant, another dazzling performance video followed.

Even though Homma was fascinated by it, a question remained in her mind... In the end, I gave in to the performance.

'I'm sure you'll get a treat at the end...!'

Yes. The hint was given right when the song ended. But not in the way she expected.

On the screen that turned black, something else appeared instead of Bae Sejin’s whereabouts.

It was a close-up shot of a beautiful face.

"...?"

That... It was blonde-haired Seon Ahyeon, who is wearing a navy-blue uniform.

He looked straight into the camera and pursed his lips.

-…Choose your side.

The soft sound of string instruments began to flow.

As the screen slowly closed to black from top to bottom, Seon Ahyeon slowly turned his head and began to walk down the hallway.

It was the gray hallway we first entered.

The black baton waved slightly from Seon Ahyeon’s waist.

Looks good for subduing someone.

“…..”

Then the screen fades black.

Amid the soft string instruments, until only the clear sound of military boots remains.

-Tuk, knock, knock....

Then, a letter comes to mind.

[Roll the Dice]

~Please enter the code

The last thing that appears is a blinking black box.

This appeared when Bae Sejin accessed the lock pad in the music video.

and....

“….Ha!"

Homma let out the breath she had been holding.

crazy!

'I was worried for no reason!'

The quality was like a movie! Although it is a bit different from existing music videos, this will definitely get a response.

'There will be a huge reaction from foreigners....'

It was already expected.

'The world view is a bit... It was very bold, though.'

It was like a new world view! There was a bit too much force, so it felt like some kind of drama fan music video.

'Is the board game that worldview? 'Do you understand if you do that?'

It was when she was thinking hard.

Suddenly, personal messages poured in on social media.

'What?'

I thought it was just DuckTalk, so I clicked on it.

-The album product page popped up and it was the key from the crazy music video.

“…??”

-The key in the kid’s music video is the album USB!!

“…Uh huh??”

She opened her mouth and screamed.

‘Aaaah!!’

The next day.

‘Hurry! Hurry!

She frantically opened the album she had received.

So, while being as careful as possible, I hurriedly disconnected the USB, which was a music video prop, and connected it to the computer, then tried to access the folder.

Because....

'You made it so meaningful!'

There was definitely something in the MV expansion! I had to see it!

'Just click on the video like this!'

Could we see the extended version of the MV?

"... !!"

However, it was not the video player that welcomed her.

[Do you want to allow the TeSTAR Roll the Dice MV Extended Edition (Playable) app to change devices?]

App?

At that moment, she realized.

'Playable.'

game.

The MV extended version is... It was a game!

[not-too-shoddy]

Tarot Card Case

A month or so ago, a tarot card case pattern came across my Etsy feed. The pattern creator was RootsStonesAndBones and the pattern was on sale. I was interested in making something new that didn't consist of wallets and fabric bookmarks, so I picked it up and found a tutorial on YouTube. This video tutorial was very hard to follow. The visual was hard to watch and the quality of the video was also difficult to understand what was going on.

I decided to make this case and try my best to follow along. Since I'm a beginner in sewing, I still need assistance with how things should look. I have basic knowledge and concepts on how pieces should lay to make sense when it's finished, but I still need a step by step to thoroughly understand. So with the video and, mainly, the instructions given by RootsStonesAndBones, I was able to make my first tarot card case.

The fabric choices were fun with this one. I had gone with a mystics design for the flap and the inside fabric are tiny moons. I had gone with the sash enclosure instead of the button style the PDF follows because of a few reasons...

I really don't know how to sew a button hole yet.

The sash just has a better look to it in my opinion especially if you're looking to hold your tarot cards in it.

After finishing this case, I decided I was going to post a how to on how to make it. I wanted to make the video clearer than how it was presented in the YouTube tutorial I had found. Give a better visual of what to do. Make it more approachable, if you will. I spent hours making my next case and ensuring the video made sense for anyone to follow. I grouped the clips together, and made three 8 minute or longer TikTok videos. The reason behind this too was because I wanted basic editing and a way to put all three videos together by only using "Create Movie" feature on my Samsung. And it worked.

On my TikTok, you can find this walkthrough in three parts:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

(Don't mind the silly grandma voice. 😆 I was playing around with their features.)

After merging them into one video (almost 30 minutes long!), I uploaded the video to my YouTube channel as "unlisted", as it doesn't go with what is posted on this channel. Eventually I will move it to a sewing channel under Not Too Shoddy, but for now this will do. You can view that video HERE.

I'm hoping to do more tutorials like this in the future. So if your interested, stay tuned!

୨♡୧

For Valentine's Day, I had taken a smaller version of this pattern and created little cases for my daughter's daycare class. We put a small container of Play-Doh in the case, a colored pen, and two lollipops inside. On the sash outside, I had written each child's name on it. The pouch probably wound up in the trash seeing how they're just 3-4 year olds, but at least they looked good! (I made her teachers a coin/chapstick holder.)

I hope this walkthrough helps.

Enjoy sewing!

[13-frinfransstudios]

MY STORIES ARE TRASH !!!

This year as a writer is going good so far. I am in a Philippine organization for writers and are able to communicate with them. Most of them being writers on Wattpad, which is just the community I belong in.

But these past few days, I watch these writers post the amount of people that have read their story and commented on it, while I watch mine barely getting any traction. I also saw them update 30k-80k words a day while I write 1k words after 2.5 hours. This kind of made me feel insecure of my work and maybe a little envious (not to the point that I despise them, though I still love my writer friends and support their works).

I start to think that my story is not good. It's silly, pointless, and does not even contribute anything to literature. What is the point of my writing? What's the point of this story anyway? It's just about two women having sex and telling themselves they're not gonna be in love with one another but they are! It's not a cool action-packed adventure filled with secret mafias or demon eyes or a mystical fantasy world. It's just nothing but a trash!

My stories are trash!

...

I start to drink alcohol and stop writing, just to feel something a little bit. Alcohol kinda gets me pumping. (Don't worry I'm no alcoholic Last time I drank was only on New Year and I only drank one cup and that's it) Suddenly, I am on the floor, with my stuffed toys, contemplating about my dreams as an author that I've been chasing since I was 13. I remember how excited I was to write, to jot down different ideas, then to now. Back then I was not filled with worries or insecurities, just simply writing stories that have the same trash quality as I make them now, thinking how great the story I'm writing it.

Then it hit me. Back then, the amount of readers don't cross my mind, I don't overthink about the words I write, and I am aware then that my story is nothing compare to the published books I so love but that didn't matter then. I know my stories are trash because it's all messy and what. But despite it, I think it was a good trash. That was my mindset: for now, I'll be good trash. All this time that's what I've been thinking of my book. That's why I never mind my mistakes so much!

I am 20 years old. I'm still quite young and inexperienced, yet I'm worrying about the things I'm not suppose to worry about yet. I feel like I'm putting so much pressure on myself. I need to remind myself that every writers have their own way of writing and own pace. Each and every one of us have our own genres we are good at. And I shouldn't be worried about readers when I am just starting because no matter what story I write, it will find its audience.

And also, looking back at my old writing, I knew that I am growing as a writer. The way I wrote my story then at 14 is different now. I learned quite a lot these past few years, and I know I still have more things to learn.

And if there's something that my 14-year-old self know better, is that if no one will ever love my story, then I should. I need to treat my accounts as a fan account for my stories as a way to promote it but I need to have editing apps so I think I will need to play Roblox until I get tired enough to download it (the struggles of being a slight-gamer).

Anyway, this is just a rant. I don't know how to end this...