#and the people that think this is better than getting snow is the issue this is not normal weather

[dykedvonte]

One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.

I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.

The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.

Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.

I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.

[xxf0rg0tt3n-b3st14xx]

It's 12(F) fuck degrees out. The feel is -1.

Please don't be another vary cold dry winter.

○|￣|＿

I would love a mild winter with a bunch of snow at this point, pleeease! There's still time!

[inbarfink]

When talking about the distinction between Simon Petrikov and the Ice King,  it’s important to remember that originally, the Crown wasn’t trying to turn Simon into Ice King -

It was trying to turn him into this guy.

At the time, the Ice Crown - or rather the Wishing Crown - was programmed with Gunther’s wish to become Evergreen. So everything related to making the current wearer like Evergreen is a very direct result of the Crown’s Magic. The physical changes -

And the obsession with the name ‘Gunther’ -

And maybe some of the irritability and anger issues -

That is something the Crown is very directly forcing unto its current wielder. 

But everything else?

Ice King, personality-wise, was not much like Evergreen at all, or even like Gunther's view of him. And Ice Finn of the Farmworld Universe was also pretty different from the both of them.

At the time, I remember people assumed Ice Finn’s behavior is more indicative of what the Crown is actually trying to do with its wielders. That Ice King is so different because of Simon’s subconscious resistance against the Crown - while Finn’s much younger and dumber brain is a lot susceptible to the Curse’s influence to become some sort of mad world-conquering emperor of ice and snow. 

But, with the context of the Crown’s actual backstory. That doesn’t seem very likely anymore. I think what’s actually happening there is that the Crown is just trying to make its wielder an Ice Wizard on par with Evergreen (who was the Actual Goddam Ice Elemental) and that means pumping the wielder’s brain so full of Magic, Madness and Sadness to a level that is bound to overwhelm anyone.

And Simon’s and Farmworld Finn’s very different behaviors after putting on the crown is indicative, more than anything, of how their psyche reacts to Madness and Sadness in general. You know, Finn has a very proactive and kinda aggressive personality - and you add Crown-induced-Madness-and-Sadness and a compulsion to use Ice Magic as much as possible and you get all of…. this 

Meanwhile, for Simon, the compulsions of the Crown originally filtered exclusively via the language of protection 

As his madness always manifested as romantic obsession 

And using goofy humor to try and deny the pain he’s going through 

Because that’s how Simon’s mind specifically reacts to being flooded with so much Madness and Sadness.

That’s why there’s so many parallels between Ice King and the sort of mistakes and screwed-up stuff Simon does right now! He’s even kidnapping people again!

Because the Madness and Sadness of Ice King might’ve been induced by the Crown, but now Simon has plenty of personal home-grown Madness and Sadness inside him - and it’s no surprise that Curse-Induced or not, his mind reacts to it in a sorta-similar way. (Although obviously not as intensely, again, there was a LOT of MMS in the Ice Crown).

Now as for Ice Thing, and the fact that he seems to be actually rather well-adjusted under effects of his version of the Wishing Crown. I mean... not by the time of the 1000+ Era, but that’s literally eons in the future and also maybe more Gibbon’s fault. Even if the Crown will eventually take some sort of toll on him, for now he seems to be doing pretty well considering his wish. I mean, there's still some sort of Loss of Identity stuff going on

But everything we've seen of Ice Thing (in the present day, at least) shows him as a friendly and cheerful individual that gets along well with others. A far cry from how maladjusted every single wielder of the Ice Crown acted.

At the very least, if there's any notable amount of Sadness in him, we really haven't seen it yet.

There might be several factors here:

First things first, I should acknowledge the possibility that it’s just that Orgalorg’s eldritch brain is better at intaking all that MMS juice. That could play a part, but I think it’s probably more important, at least thematically, to look at the distinction between ‘I wish to be Evergreen’ and ‘I wish to be Ice King’. 

First in the sense that while Ice King was occasionally mean to Gunter at times - he was generally much kinder than Evergreen ever was for ‘his’ Gunther. So, like, pretty much the one Personality Flaw of Ice King that you can directly link to the Ice Crown’s attempt to mimic Evergreen is the occasional anger issues.

And how they relate to Gunther’s view of Evergreen, so grumpy and controlling and constantly saying ‘NO!’

(Both Finn and Simon’s demonstrable not-crown-induced trauma responses can make them pretty short-tempered as well. So I’m not going to say this is purely the effects of the Crown. It still probably plays some sort of factor at why the wielder of the Ice Crown is Like That).

And that is not a factor in how Gunter views Ice King. For him, Ice King was a doting and loving father figure - so if the Crown was ever trying to implement any sort of specific negative personality traits, this is absolutely no longer a factor. Because the original Ice Crown was a reflection of Evergreen’s abuse, and now Ice Thing is a reflection of Ice King’s fatherly love.

Which is, itself, probably an echo or remnant of Simon’s own strong parental instincts. 

Secondly, while the Crown was trying to make the Ice King just as powerful as Evergreen…. Ice King was obviously not as powerful as Evergreen. Because he was already a second-rate copy of the Ice Elemental’s power, and because Ice King was often just too doofy to use his powers correctly and probably because some remnant of Simon’s original sensible self is subconsciously holding his powers back.

Either way, being ‘like Ice King’ as Gunter sees him requires less Magic than being ‘like Evergreen’ as Gunther saw him - and therefore less Madness and Sadness. Leading to the wearer or, um, the eater being a lot more well-adjusted from the get-go.

And I think that the implication that Ice Thing has fused with the Crown, so there's never going to be another poor sap who puts on the Crown and gets Ice King'd. But if there is one somehow... at least the process is going to be less mentally detrimental that time around?

Maybe one day Simon could look back and appreciate how much he (or Ice King, or both of them, or however you want to look at the situation) is responsible for basically neutralizing the Crown that ruined his life in the first place.

[sparks-and-smoke]

Hello!

What about an avengers reader and bucky fic where reader dosnt realize they are in an depressive episode but bucky or steve or both ( platonically or romantically) notices.

Haha I just surfaced from a major depressive episode so that's where the inspiration came from.

Also hi!

Hi <3 this one is a little longer because, well I guess I needed it too. Plus fluffy lovey Stucky is my bread and butter. 

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky barnes x reader, Stucky (but not really the focus)

Content/Warnings: mental health, depression, anxiety, self care

Author Note: as someone who also struggles with mental health I personally loved this ask. Thank you, and I hope your feeling better sweets. Take care. 

(Bonus note from my editor @voice-of-velhart)

Editor Note: Depression is not an easy thing to make your way out of, but I'm proud of ya'll for pushing through it and I'm glad your here. <3

The brain fog was the thing that set in first. It was hard to fall out of a routine living in the compound. Day in and Day out it was training and meal regimens. Sparring and paperwork. Someone was always around and yet you felt like you were drifting. Going through the motions with little to no reason to do so other than if you didn’t what else would fill your day. No one seemed to notice your lack of enthusiasm, or how your typically attentive nature had been slipping lately. Your reports were still on time and you weren’t pulling your punches in training so you were probably fine… right?

It was burn out or maybe you were feeling under the weather. At least that's what you told them if they asked. And while your friends and team loved you, they were busy people with the literal weight of the world on their shoulders. So who could blame them when they didn’t keep tabs, or at least you thought they didn’t keep tabs. 

Bucky sat in the library trying to find a fantasy book he hadn’t already read. Tony was a brilliant guy but he had horrible taste in written fiction. As he perused, he kept you in his peripheral vision. You stared down at your now cold cup of coffee looking lost even though you weren’t moving. He had noticed you are like this a lot the last few weeks. You shower less and less, your normally shiny maintained hair more often than not on the greasy and dull side of the spectrum. And he hadn’t seen you touch the piano or your switch in days. He was getting concerned. 

He taps Steve with his foot. “What?” 

The big guy had been deep in thought, sprawled out in a lounge chair with his nose in a tablet. “Have you noticed Angel is different lately?” 

Steve glanced up, taking a look at their girl as she swirled the coffee in her mug, totally disassociating. “Yeah, she said she was under the weather. I tried to get it out of her what was wrong but she’s being cagey.” his brows knit together in a mask of concern. “Sure is lingering a long time to be just a bug, don't cha think?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah I do… what are we gonna do about it.” 

Steve sighed heavily and set down his tablet, giving the issue his full attention. He thinks back to those long cold winters in brooklyn. When the snow was deep and his bones would ache so bad he didn’t wanna get out of bed. There were always little things that would help him get out of those slumps. Bucky making him get up and shower was always a good start, followed by warm food and if they could find it, sunlight. 

“I think we're gonna start by helping our girl feel human again..” 

~~~~

Steve and Bucky formed a game plan. The two men are nothing if not efficient and tactical. Steve went down stairs to start food. Something starchy and savory. Comfort food. Meanwhile, Bucky started operation Angel Self Care. 

“Angel.” Bucky's voice was soft, wrapped in warm velvet. And you barely registered it before he was crouching down and smoothing back your hair from your face. Taking your untouched cup out of your hand. “How long have you been sitting here, beautiful?” 

You shook your head as if you could wave away the mist behind your eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. Lost track of time I guess.” Bucky just hums. Yeah, he knows that feeling. He also knew it never led anywhere good. 

“Lost in thought?” 

You looked up to meet his gaze, warmth and concern mixing in the set of his jaw and the draw of his brows. “Yeah I guess. I’m fine babe. Don’t worry about it I’m just..”

“Feeling under the weather. Yeah, I know. You’ve been saying that a lot lately. I’m starting to think it’s a cop out.”

It is and you know it but you don’t know what else to say. “I just. I don’t know what wrong with me lately. I just… I don’t wanna do anything. Like anything ya know? It’s like sometimes waking up alone is all I have in me for the day. Do you know how that feels.”

If anyone knew how you felt it was Bucky. Hell sometimes he still felt that way, decades of torture and actions out of his own control had left him with more then his own share of depressive tendencies that drag him deep down under the current of reality pretty regularly. There are days he goes completely nonverbal, only going through the motions on autopilot. The only people who can pull him out are Steve, and you. And therapy, lots of therapy. “Of course I do. You know I do. But Angel, you can’t live there. It’s ok to feel it, but you need to acknowledge it and try to crawl back out. It’s ok if you can’t do it alone baby.”

You feel a thick lump forming in your throat that you can’t quite swallow down. The urge to argue, to tell him your fine and he’s being overbearing was there. But more then that you knew he was right. Something was wrong, and you couldn’t climb out on your own. But you weren’t ready to say it. Not yet. 

“Come on honey, let’s get you cleaned up and get some food in your belly. That might help a little.” Bucky didn’t wait for you to protest, he slid one arm under your legs and the other around your back and headed up to Steve’s quarters. Not caring in the slightest if teammates or recruits saw. That was a problem for later Bucky. 

~~~~

The big six had full apartments in the upper levels of the compound. Which means he could squirrel you away to Steve’s private bath and get you in the shower. Vetiver and pine, a familiar comforting scent. Gently and quietly he started the shower to an acceptable temperature for you (hot enough to turn your skin the next shade of blush.) and stripped you down to help you in. 

There was nothing sexual about the way he did this. It was all just about loving you. Helping you, as  he guided you into the water and let it wash away your stress. He pulled you back against his chest. “There’s my girl. That feel better Angel?” 

You nod as the smell of Steve’s body wash fills the small space. “Do you mind if I wash you?” 

With your permission he sets about cleaning you up. Slow loving strokes over your body as he pulls you back to lean on his chest. “You know you can talk to us about anything right. Steve and I love you. You’ve been here for us. Let us do the same.” 

“I would tell you… if I knew why I felt this way.” You confess. “If I had some inkling of what I needed to get out to feel better but I don’t.” 

Your voice wavers and it breaks Bucky's heart just a little. He wants to fix it. But he knows he can’t. All he can do is be there for you. “Well, I’m glad you trust me enough to help you.” He tilts your head back. Starting to wash your hair. “We’ll just take it one step at a time till we find ground again. Ok?

~~~~ 

Downstairs Steve fretted over the stove. Sweet potato pierogi and with onions and butter. It was easy, simple even. But it always made him feel better as a kid and the few times he had made it you liked it. He looked up as he heard feet pad down into the kitchen. Hair still damp, but clean. In fresh sweats and Bucky's shirt. 

“Ahh, there you are. Do you feel better?”

“Yeah… a little.” You admit, sitting on a stool across the island. 

Steve rounds the counter to kiss your forehead. “You look better.” He inhaled her skin, the longer scent of his soap and Bucky's touch still there, along with that sweet undertone that was all you. “Smell better too.” He teased. 

You breath out your nose with a half hearted huff. “Thanks.” 

“Always angel. Here. I made you some food. You don’t have to eat it all but at least a few bites would ease my mind. And then maybe we can go up to the room and get you some sun hmm? Would you be ok with that.” Steve slid the colorful pasta across the counter to you with a warm smile. Trying to coax you to follow his lead. 

“Yeah. Sounds good.” You eat mostly in silence. Steve and Bucky don’t push you to talk as you fill your stomach. You know they're worried. But even just these small gestures are helping you feel like maybe there is an end to this malaise. You see Steve smile and kiss Bucky softly in thanks as they wait for you to tell them you're ready. 

They spend the rest of the day trying to get you some sun. Fresh air and movement. 

“We’re gonna do this a little everyday till you start feeling better. And if you need it or feel up to it we can look into talking to a therapist too.” Steve assures. His hand firmly laced through your own. “You are not alone in this. We all feel this way sometimes. But I’m proud of you for trying love.”

A flicker of hope flies in your chest at his words. You aren’t alone, this isn’t forever. And your men are gonna love you through it till you can do it on you own.

[exhaslo]

Puzzle Pieces Ch17 (End)

(Mafia!Miguel x Shy!Reader)

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4, Ch.5, Ch6, Ch7, Ch8, Ch9, Ch10, Ch11, Ch12, Ch13, Ch14, Ch15, Ch16

Warning: Smut so Minors DNI, mentions of abuse, language, fluff, bullying, mentions of sex

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was another beautiful day in the city of Nueva York. The snow was sticking to the ground and the Christmas spirit was in the air. Everyone in the city was doing their last minute Christmas shopping while making sure they had their ingredients for dinner.

You were not shy to being one of those last minute shoppers. It was the day before Christmas and you were panicking about making sure you had everything to make for dinner. You wanted to treat Miguel well since this was going to be your first Christmas together.

It had been two weeks since the incident with Eddie. Miguel had reassured you of his death and even mentioned something about your parents calling off the engagement. As much as you wanted to ask how, you knew that Miguel was always going to take care of you. It was so reassuring to have him by your side.

Humming quietly to yourself as you walked down the aisle of your old job, you smiled spotting the deli. Your former supervisor gave you a wave and motioned you over. As you drew closer, one of the workers placed a ham inside your cart.

"On the house," Your supervisor said. You just smiled,

"T-Thank you!"

Returning to your shopping, you couldn't stop smiling since this was the first time you were enjoying yourself. It did feel slightly weird since you did have a bodyguard. Miguel wanted to make sure that you were always with someone and safe.

Miguel was sure to make you as comfortable as possible. You were the girlfriend to the leader of the strongest mafia in the city. It was a scary thought.

"Do you have a dress for tomorrow night?" Peter asked, wanting to make small talk since you were getting overwhelmed with the amount of people in the store.

"O-Oh, y-yes...L-Lyla and I...went s-shopping for one...Um...D-Do I need t-to bring...anything?" You asked, getting in line. Peter glanced around,

"Just a smile on Miguel's face. I think that will cheer everyone up," Peter said with a chuckle.

You couldn't help but smile as well. You've gotten to know some of Miguel's men and women. They were all really nice people. Nothing from what the movies portrayed. One might think you were insane for getting comfortable with the mafia.

"O-Oh, P-Peter...could we stop by....one more place....please?" You asked. Peter glanced down at you,

"Of course!"

---------

It was an unusual sight. You were standing in front of a mirror wearing a gorgeous dress. The only issue you were having were your scars. As beautiful as dress was, your scars showed your ugly side. Not even makeup could cover them.

Tears started to well up as you went to grab your sweater. How could you present yourself as Miguel's girlfriend if you looked like this? What were people going to think?

"¿Conejita? (Bunny?), what's wrong?" Miguel asked as he entered the room and saw you crying, "Don't cry, look how beautiful you are!"

"B-But...m-my scars, Miggy," You whimpered. Miguel fixed your hair and pecked your lips,

"Are nothing to be ashamed of, but if you wish to cover them, then I understand." He said and fixed your sweater, "I still love you all the same."

"I...love you too," You sniffed, wiping your tears away, "I...I just don't...want your people...to think...y-you k-know..."

"Whatever they think, they keep to themselves. My people know better than to insult me or you," Miguel whispered, resisting the urge to call you anything but his wife.

"Miggy~" You cooed happily, enjoying these moments.

You glanced at Miguel and squeaked, seeing the lust in his eyes. Before you could protest, Miguel picked you up and placed you on the bed, wanting to hog your beauty all to himself. You whined, afraid of ruining your dress, but Miguel made sure to be careful.

"M-Miguel~ N-No...m-more~ ah~ I-I gotta...s-stand mhm~ f-for the p-party!" You cried out as he bullied his cock into you.

"Just once more, baby. I want everyone to know that you're mine." Miguel hissed as he sucked on your neck.

You arched your back, moaning loudly as Miguel grew rougher with his thrusts. His grip was tight against your hips as his dick rubbed against your sweet spot, causing you to cum. Shaking in pleasure, you whimpered as Miguel kept his pace, painting your insides white.

"M-Miggy," You panted softly. Miguel licked his lips, glancing down at you,

"Just one more, please?"

-------------

Your face was flustered as you held onto Miguel. Your legs were shaky and quite numb, so Miguel had to carry you into the party. It was none the less embarrassing. Plus, your neck was covering with Miguel's love bites.

"T-This is embarrassing," You whispered. Miguel chuckled softly as he entered the Alchemax building,

"It's only for a short while. I usually stay at this party for an hour, the other two hours." He explained and placed you on your feet, "But, if you want to leave early to continue celebrating Christmas-"

"Mhpm!" You huffed your cheeks out, giving a slight glare towards your sex driven boyfriend, "W-We're b-binge watching m-movies remember?" You whined. Miguel couldn't hold back his laugh,

"I know, baby. I can't help but tease." You felt captivated by his smile, "Just stay by my side, okay?"

"O-Okay,"

Everything felt like it was moving so fast. You refused to let go of Miguel, not used to the fancy party life. Alchemax was different and you weren't sure if you liked it yet. The food was fancy and the people seemed snobby. It was no wonder why Miguel wasn't too fond of this job.

The only good thing about this party was that people only paid half a mind to you. Everyone tried to avoid Miguel unless it was a simple introduction. Miguel was the CEO, he had to make his rounds and a small speech.

Sitting a small private table, you smiled as Miguel handed you a small plate of food. He kissed your head and went up to the stage to make his yearly speech. After he was done, the two of you were going to go to his more 'lively' party as Miguel called it.

"Is she dating the boss?"

"Can't be, look at her."

"But those marks-"

"Just a fling. We have a better chance."

Ah, there is was. You hadn't left Miguel's side until now, so you had avoided hearing the whispers about you. Of course, everyone was curious about you. The CEO of their company had brought a girl they had never seen before.

You wanted to tell them that you were Miguel's girlfriend. You wanted to tell them that they were wrong. That they would never stand a chance with Miguel, but you were still afraid. Just because you had gotten comfortable with Miguel, didn't mean that you were ready to confront others yet.

"Please, do enjoy the rest of the night. My wife and I have other matters to attend. I shall see you all in the New Year," Miguel spoke before leaving the stage.

You hadn't even heard his last part, still playing with your sweater sleeves about what those girls said. You didn't even notice Miguel approach you from behind, his arms wrapping around yours.

"You didn't eat. Was the food not to your liking?" He asked. You flinched and shook your head,

"S-Sorry...I um...spaced out." You whispered and scooted closer to him, "A-Are we leaving...?"

"Yes, perhaps you'll like the food there better."

Miguel lifted you up, ignoring your small protests and his staring underlings. He held you close until the two of you arrived at his other party. It was already lively since some of the Peters had gotten a little drunk.

"C-Can I ask-" You giggled lowly, seeing Miguel's slightly annoyed expression, "H-How did you come to hire so many p-people with the s-same name?"

"I don't know. I really don't know," Miguel huffed and watched as his mafia went wild, "Let me get you a pla-"

"THE BOSS'S WIFE WANTS FOOD!" One of the Peter's yelled. You were too focused on Miguel leading to a table to hear the yelling,

"BRING THE QUEEN HER FOOD!"

"FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!"

"What the hell are they going on about now?!" Miguel barked. Lyla came over with Jessica and a few other girls,

"Everyone's excited to finally meet (Y/N). They're bringing her a plate of food now," She said with a grin.

"E-Excited to s-see...me?" You questioned in shock.

"Yea, you're the one who thawed this grumps heart." Jessica hummed while Gwen and Margo snickered to themselves.

Miguel kept his quiet glare since you were enjoying their company. He turned his attention to his drunk underlings who brought you a large enough plate to even feed Miguel. Wondering if he should make his speech now, Miguel waited on you.

He enjoyed the smile on had on your face as you talked to the girls. Your eyes sparkling ever so slightly at the mountain of food. You seemed to be happy here, that's what mattered.

"I'll be right back," Miguel whispered in your ear.

You shivered in delight and pecked his lips, wishing him luck. Miguel groaned lowly, hurrying to the main stage to calm his eager crowd. Oh, how tempting you were still. Miguel was going to make sure to keep on giving all night long.

"Excited to give Miguel your gift tomorrow?" Lyla asked, ignoring Miguel's speech. You felt your cheeks warm up,

"I-I really...r-really hope he likes it."

"He will. Miguel will cherish anything you give him."

"I trust you all to keep this city safe again this year. My wife and I shall lead this family to success-"

"I-I'm just worried...t-that he'll think it's...cheap..."

"Miguel doesn't care about that. Listen to this, his brother gave him a baseball from one of his games and Miguel still has it in a glass case!" Lyla grinned.

"As you've all seen, my wife is quite shy and nervous when it comes to new people, so I expect you all to behave and-"

"O-Oh, yes! M-Miguel told me that story. It's s-super sweet," You cooed, hiding your smile, "S-So...he will like my g-gift~"

"HEIR! HEIR! HEIR!"

"The hell are they yelling now?" Jessica huffed, crossing her arms towards the crowd. You titled your head, drinking some wine,

"Hair?"

"Ignore them," Lyla snickered.

You were still confused, but kept enjoying your meal and drink. Eventually Miguel returned and cozied up to you, claiming that he needs a break already. You laughed at his childishly behavior, but indulged anyway.

After a while, you were tipsy and ready to go home. As ready as you were to sleep, Miguel made sure to keep you up for a few more hours.

Tis was the season of giving after all.

---------

You let out a soft whine as Miguel scooped you up from the bed. He had you wrapped in the blanket, carrying you over to his large living room. You rubbed your eyes, glancing at his beautiful Christmas tree and tons of gifts placed below it.

You gasped at the sight, shocked to see so many presents. Miguel chuckled towards your reaction and placed you down on the couch. He pecked you lips and went to bring some eggnog. You were still in shock, wondering if your gift was going to be good enough again.

"Where would you like to start, Mi pequeño conejita (my little bunny)?" Miguel asked, handing you a mug. You glanced towards him, placing the cup against your lips,

"C-Can I...give y-you your gift...first?" You asked.

Miguel happily agreed if that was your wish. Miguel watched you struggle to grab his present from a hidden spot. You were cute as you struggled to walk. Returning to the couch, you let out an 'oomph' as you fell on Miguel, handing him his present.

"M-Merry Christmas!" You chirped.

Miguel brought you into his embrace, opening the gift with ease. His eyes widen, seeing that you got him a glass Spider figure. Miguel glanced towards you, watching as you touched the spider, opening a small compartment.

"Tadaaa," You chirped. Miguel glanced inside the compartment and chuckled,

"Chocolate hearts? How cute, you can't even tell they were in there."

"I-I've noticed that y-you liked Spiders....y-you know, before I-I knew you were part of the S-Spider mafia. T-The hearts...I um...I wanted to um....r-represent...m-my love...for you." You stuttered, feeling slightly embarrassed now.

"I love it, mi amor (my love)" Miguel brought you in for a deep kiss, "Allow me to give you one special gift first."

You could feel small hearts floating above your head as Miguel kept giving you kisses here and there. He went behind the tree and brought you a medium size gift. Curious, you opened it and saw that Miguel got you a custom made puzzle.

"Let's build it together," He whispered in your ear.

You muffled a whimper as Miguel sat you between his legs. You could feel your heart race as his hands engulfed yours. The two of you were working on a special puzzle together. You were both nervous and excited to see what it will form into.

"Will?" You questioned.

"Keep going,"

A shiver ran down your spine as Miguel kept whispering and kissing your ear. He grabbed your hands, working on the other side of the puzzle now.

"Me?"

"Ten piedad, te voy a devorar si sigues siendo tan linda. (Have mercy, I'm going to devour you if you keep being this cute.)" Miguel groaned.

You bit your lower lip as you kept working on the puzzle. You could feel Miguel's erection already, making you really wonder what the puzzle was. Your eyes started to widen as you saw another word being formed. Miguel then covered your eyes as his hands motioned yours to finish the puzzle.

"Ready?" Miguel moved his hands away from yours eyes.

"Will you m-marry me?" You gasped in awe, then turned to face Miguel, "Y-Yes! Yes!" You cried, tackling him in a hug. Miguel wrapped his arms around you waist, laying against the floor,

"(Y/N), I love you so, so much. I promise to take care of you now and forever," Miguel said with a low hum. This time, you were the one to cover him in kisses,

"M-Miguel, t-thank you so much f-for treating me well. I-I love you so much it hurts! I-I can't wait to be called your wife!"

"Oh? I've been calling you that all night." Miguel chuckled lowly, sliding your panties down, "I thought it was so cute how you didn't hear a single one."

"Y-You were?!"

"Everyone knows that you're my wife," Miguel laughed, sitting back up and kissing you deeply, "And now, you will be."

"Thank you, M-Miguel," You pecked his lips happily. Miguel picked you up, hovering over you on the couch,

"No, thank you, (Y/N)."

Every one is a puzzle just waiting to find their missing pieces. It may take some time and there maybe moments where you think you found the right piece, but patience will reward you in the end. For you will finally find all of your puzzle pieces eventually.

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THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND SUPPORTING THIS STORY!!! I couldn't have done it without all of your love and support! As sad as I am to see this story end, what ends with one, gives life to another!

I have already started on my next story. I present:

Corruption (Villain!Miguel x Hero!Reader)

Thank you all again for reading and enjoying my story! I hope to see you all again in my future projects~

@migueloharacumslut @18lkpeters @deputy-videogamer @leahnicole1219 @synamonthy @thedevax @jolynesposts @thraetor @freehentai @2099hitmylineyline @vvampir3s @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @secretadmirerisnowonline @jadeloverxd @bunnibitez @oharasfilipinawife @randomgoosegame @lilbanas @daisy-artfield @axi-moore @mimiemie @darkfairy102190 @jazzyj1011 @mcmiracles @innercreationflower @spoderssimp @thel0velykey190 @moonvoidpng @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @scaleniusrm @love4saturn @nyxgoddessofchaos13 @slutty-chronicles @ghstypaint @migueloharastruelove @brainmatterdump @a060403 @trendyharold @yannauauau @kimivixen @angel-xx-1 @nxrdamp @miguelzslvtz @lynxslokley @wafflefries786 @pochapo @what-the-jams @flaps200 @ii-angelsrolltheireyes-ii @nakimushiohime @tojishugetiddies @aya-world @supercowgirl04 @mysteris-things @daisy-artfield @mcmiracles @alexa4040 @llama--drama @kpopscoups17130000 @havkjhdecs @ruexvn @tojishugetiddi @openup-yourmind @black-swan-blog27 @xstarsdiary @kiddisquacking @gachagator @yujyujj @emmyrxx @blackteamint @sockears @black-swan-blog27 @soraya-daydreams @byjessicalotufo @nanoinn @bunnibitez @aockskcw @l3laze @dimitri-needs-therapy

[anki-of-beleriand]

A Heart Made of Glass ch. 18

Summary: Ten years ago you left Wanda and the Avengers to heal your broken heart. You never stopped being a hero, just as you never stopped being in love with her. But life had to go on.

Now, after all that time, she is back and with her is a young woman needing help and an enemy that may not be as afraid as Wanda to lay a claim on you.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Powered!F!Reader - Scarlet Witch x PoweredF!Reader - Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision - CarolxF!Reader

Warnings: Angst, drama, mentions of cheating, fluff, violence, Switch!Reader, internalize homophobia, hurt, comfort, Wanda being a complete mess, anger management issues, jealousy, Requited/Unrequited love, idiots in love, swearing, mentions of alcohol. More tags as the story progess.

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of Dirty Little Secret I was really surprised at the response I got for the story. Thank you for the support.

Nothing ever eneds, I thank you guys for being with me to the very end of this story, I hope you like this last one!

Please, do remember English is no my mother tongue so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Epilogue

Epilogue

The first snow of the season broke into the sky without a warning.

America wrapped her coat tighter around her body, she glanced around the hall rolling her eyes when her ears finally caught the sound of bickering down the airport bridge. The hand grasping hers called her attention, and she soon watched the same exasperation in Kamala’s face when the both of them found Yelena and Kate bickering all the way out of the plane with the stewardess watching them with relief.

 “Why are the fighting now?” Kamala finally asked dragging America away, “let’s go before anyone here thinks we come with them.”

America chuckled following Kamala down the bridge and into the airport, it had been this way since they decided to make the trip and go to Ulsteinvik for the holidays. Not something Mrs. Khan was happy about, and she had made it quite clear that was expecting a facetime with her daughter as soon as they got home, of this America was to make sure would happen without any delay.

They soon found themselves in a busy airport glancing at the signals around, before going for their bags. It had been almost six months since America had been home, and more than eight years since she had started the Young Avengers team with Yelena.

The world was a better place, but it was always expectant of a new threat that might as well come from the space as well as a different dimension. In all this time, America had lost friends, and had made new ones, she had found loved and had been part of a family that no one thought would be possible in this time and universe.

Kamala ran excitedly after the bags, speaking fast about all the things she wanted to do and see. America had always wondered how someone could speak so fast but she had gotten used to her girlfriend being a chatter more so if she was about to see her two heroes. America smiled happily when Kamala finally realized she had been talking alone while looking for the bags.

“Seriously? You let me rant all on my own so people would look at me as if I’m crazy.”

“I think you’re adorable.” America replied, Kamala rolled her eyes grabbing her hand and dragging her to the rental cars section.

“You’re lucky you can convince me with your sweet talk. Come, I think I hear the bickering from Yelena and Kate down this way.”

It took them at least one hour to get everything ready and to find a car that would take them down the road to their destination.

America glanced out of the window, and as it happened whenever she made the trip, she started remembering that first time Wanda brought her to Norway. She remembered how scared she had been, how lost and angry she felt at that time, and then how she found herself in the midst of more negative emotions that had threatened to just consume everyone around her.

A lot of things had happened since that fateful day and now America couldn’t be happier with the outcome. After a little more than an hour America could see the lighthouse coming into view, her lips broke into a smile and her stomach filled with exited fluttering.

“Gee, I think we made it just on time,” Yelena said glancing out of the window, “it seems as if a storm is coming over.”

“Well, it is just that time of the year, I’m just dying to get home and have bath, I don’t think I have one since we left New York two days ago.”

Kate wrinkled her nose nodding in agreement with Yelena, America rolled her eyes glancing at Kamala before they finally got a sight of the gate leading to the main entrance. America straightened up smiling, the house finally came into view completely and she found the many changes into the property that had happened in the last couple of years.

The small kiddie park to the sight was right now protected with a waterproof tent that protected the full structure and there was a couple of bikes tightly protected into the garage. Yelena parked the car and as soon as America stepped a foot out of the car she was jumped by a bundle of blue that came at her at full speed.

“America!!!” Tommy grinned at her, her arms wrapping tightly around her waist with his hair completely messed up, wearing a light shirt and pants.

“Tommy!!” America grabbed the five-year-old in her arms and lifted him high, he started laughing.

Kamala softened at the sight coming closer only to see another brown-haired kid watching from the entrance of the garage with a frown and a blue jacket on his hand. America carried the kid to the garage, with Billy still scolding at his brother lifting the jacket.

“Tommy! Momma said not out without the jacket!” Tommy pulled out his tongue hugging America tightly.

“Is that all you’re gonna say, little dude?” America knelt down, Billy hesitated before stepping in and hugging America still glaring at his brothers disregard of the jacket.

“Hi.” He mumbled, America chuckled kissing his forehead and pulling him up in her arms.

“It’s so good to see you again, guys.” America entered the place with Kamala and the others following them inside.

America smiled when she finally stepped inside the place she had called home inside her mind and heart. Her nose soon filed with the sweet aroma of fresh cookies, everything inside the house had been decorated for the holidays with a mixture of colours and lights that made the place looked quite homey. Everything inside the house had changed, the pictures that now decorated the main hall and the living room reflected and spoke of the stories that could be told about those changes.

Kamala found herself fascinated by the place, she had been to America’s home only a couple of times but this would be the first time she would spend the holidays with her family. The young woman made her way to the closest cabinet, and her eyes fell upon a picture of Y/N and Wanda smiling into the camera. They both looked completely happy, smiling while showing off the hand wearing the ring in their hands; right beside that one there was a picture of them in the Young Avengers lair with America right after the young woman had graduated from college.

Every single picture was taken at a special moment, and it was a continuity of stories the family had gone through over the years. Kamala let her eyes fell upon the last picture, her smile deepened when she saw Wanda the twins with America and Y/N on each side of the bed smiling tiredly to the camera.

“America?” You came right around the corner with your phone on your hand, your face broke into a grin coming over to the young woman and sharing a hug with her. “Oh, it’s so good to see you!”

America hugged you back, and you felt how the tension from the last couple of days left her body. The twins were talking in fast Russian to Yelena who was kneeling to make sure she did not miss a single word while Kate watched the scene with a lopsided smile. You chuckled turning to the room, your eyes gleaming happily at all of them.

“You guys are earlier! I didn’t expect you until tomorrow.”

“Yes, well, this is my fault, Mrs. Y/L/N.” Kamala said turning around, she blushed under your stare. “I just thought we should come earlier than planned because the weather has been worsening in some parts.”

“Always the thoughtful one, right?” You came to the young woman hugging her as well. “It’s good to see you too, Kamala, how is your mom?”

“She is fine, just a little upset I will be gone for over a month.” Kamal shrugged. “She did tell me to tell you that she expects you will come by next time.”

You nodded knowing how Mrs. Khan could get with the subject of her daughter and the family in general. You went to Yelena pulling her up to hug her before kneeling and grabbing the twins.

“You guys, I’m so happy to see you, now some things first.” You declared calling everyone’s attention. “Wanda is asleep she hasn’t felt well lately, so I expect you to be on your best behavious, understood?”

This time around you looked at Billy then a Tommy, both of them nodded squirming around in your arms until you put them back on the floor.

“Yes, mom!”

“Now, guys, remember what we practice?” The twins nodded their heads, Billy went to grab the jacket stretching his hand towards his brother who made a face but put the jacket on.

“Now, help America, Yelena, Kamala and Kate get into their rooms.”

You stood up winking at the young women, “the twins will help you guys settle down, you know for as long as you guys are here this is your home.”

America came to you giving you another hug, the both of you waited until everyone had gone back to the car and leave the both of you alone. The young woman stepped back, her dark eyes finally analysing the state you were in observing the bags under your eyes and the weak twitch of your lips.

“Is everything okay?”

You sighed shaking your head, “not really, Wanda has not felt well and I am out of ideas.”

America could tell you were really worried about your wife, she placed a hand on your forearm looking around then back at you.

“Have you guys talked to the doctor?”

“Yeah, he made some test and it all comes down to the fact that…” You trailed off shrugging, “they think the way the baby is just like Tommy and Billy.”

“they have powers.”

“Yep, and it seemed whatever powers they had it was taking its toll on her.”

The first time around no one spoke of the complications of pregnancy, no one had prepared you and Wanda to face a pregnancy with a set of twins that had powers whose energy sometimes was too much for Wanda to deal off alone. While it had been difficult, America had never seen the level of concern she was seeing in you right now back when the twins were born. You offered a weak smile shaking your head.

“Don’t worry, go get settle and I will wake Wanda so you can say hi.”

“Nah, don’t worry, I will do so when she is up. Don’t wake her up.”

You chuckled shaking your head, “you really have grown a lot, uh?”

“Of course, now that we are here we can help with the twins.” America heard laughter and something crashing into the ground, she winced turning towards the door. “I better make sure they don’t break anything.”

You watched America leave, standing there for a few moments you then turned around and made your way back into your room.

The place was dark, with a single figure resting on her side breathing in and out evenly. Your face softened almost instantly and whatever tiredness or worry you had felt dissipated when your eyes fell upon the figure of your pregnant wife. When you and Wanda had first come together, you had always wondered if a pregnancy was really possible. You wondered how the miracle worked and if Wanda was ready to face the fact that, perhaps, whatever child that was conceived might not be the same twins she had imagined at some point.

The world, the universe decided to prove you and her wrong.

As soon as you two started worrying about if it was possible or not, the miracle worked itself out and soon Wanda had gotten pregnant. The young woman had been terrified and she had cried her eyes out to Natasha because the last thing she wanted it was for you to doubt what was happening. She was so afraid to tell you her latest mood swing and crazy cravings along with the morning sickness had been an unexpected pregnancy.

Natasha had tried to mediate, but Wanda was terrified, she had tried to gather everything she had done in between the time of conception and the moment she found out about it to ensure she had proof of her fidelity to you.

You approached the bed remembering the day Wanda had told you about the twins. She had cried and you had laughed, you knew it was bound to happen. The other Wanda had told you the story, and all you had been doing was to wait. Wanda had been so relief, she just hugged you tightly promising to you she did nothing wrong and that her babies were yours.

The sleeping form on the bed shifted, you knelt in front of her your hand brushing away some strands of hair.

“Hey, sleepyhead, how are you?” You leaned in kissing Wanda on her forehead, the young woman fluttered her eyes open with her lips curling slightly.

“Hey, what time is it?” She asked groggily, you leaned in kissing her slowly melting into the lips until Wanda was putting you to her.

“America and the others are home.” You mumbled in between kisses, Wanda sighed offering a wicked smile.

“So we have a moment for ourselves?”  She wiggled her eyebrows and you couldn’t help but laugh at that, instead of taking into the offer you rested beside her kissing her face and neck.

���Mostly, the twins are in charge of settling them in but that won’t take too long.”  

Wanda pouted snuggling closer to you, her stomach pushing against yours making it difficult for you to actually hug her properly.

“I love you.” She said suddenly, looking up at you, you furrowed your brow never growing tired of her words.

“I love you too.”

This time around the kiss was a reassuring touch of lips, a simple promise of comfort while Wanda held onto your form with need. You broke the kiss, placing your hand on her stomach the little life growing inside her stirred restlessly.

“How are you feeling, love?” You nuzzled your nose against hers, Wanda sighed offering a comforting glance.

“I’m okay, just tired.”

“Soon, my love, soon the baby will be here and I will be able to help you more.”

“You’re doing enough, Y/N, stop worrying so much.” Wanda could tell these complications had affected your greatly.

This pregnancy had turned out to be quite the ordeal, Wanda never thought this time around things would be even more difficult than the first time. The baby inside of her had been consuming a lot of energy, and the young woman could sense just how restless the baby could get at times but mostly whenever Y/N was fuzzing over completely concern or helpless to help in the situation.  Wanda had tried to ease out your worries, but it was just part of your personality and part of who you were , and for that Wanda loved you even more.

“I worried enough.” You kissed Wanda again, needing for this moment to be special, for her to feel your love through the kiss while making sure your child was also aware of your protective nature. “I worried for you and the baby enough, I don’t want anything bad happening to either of you.”

Wanda cupped your face pecking your lips smiling, “nothing is gonna happen, now help me up because I want to greet America, I really missed her.”

You turned around standing up to give space to your wife, Wanda hid away her winced when she felt a pain on her side. When you turned to her she had already hidden her expression before grabbing your hand, squeeing it lightly putting you to her.

“Thank you.”

You blinked confusedly, “why?”

Wanda leaned back and the smile she offered you as enough to melt your heart all over again.

“For this.” She placed your hand on her stomach, then grabbed your other hand in hers. “For Believing in me, in us, for giving me this second chance. I love you so much.”

You furrowed your brows blinking slowly, your arms wrapped around her placing a kiss on her cheek.

“Baby, are you sure you’re okay?” This sudden outburst of honestly and love was not strange to you, but sometimes hearing Wanda voiced it made you think perhaps something had triggered such a reaction.

Wanda shook her head, grabbed your hand and dragged you to the door of the room.

“I just…I never get tired of telling this.”

You had been successfully distracted, Wanda could see the smile in your face while she tried to hide the pain in her abdomen. Making sure she held onto you she, follow you into the living room ready to greet America and the others while trying to forget her discomfort an enjoy the holidays with her family.

*****

In the next couple of days everyone seemed to fall into a light routine.

You loved having everyone at home, with Billy and Tommy growing up so fast and ready to use their powers, having some helped was always a welcome change. You and Wanda had been working around the baby’s room while making sure everyone was comfortable at home. Kamala and Kate had been ready to help you out while also loving the good share of stories you could share about either Yelena or America.

All in all, the holidays had become a real adventure and you couldn’t be happier to enjoy the time you spent with your family. In all that time, you had noticed Wanda had been quiet with just a few winces that she would brush off to continue spending time with America and the twins. You wished you could brush it off but the fact that Billy had been walking around her with that overprotective glint in his eyes told you there was something else going on.

You dropped on the sofa completely drained; the twins were on the TV room watching movies before getting ready to go to the city with America, Kamala, Kate and Yelena, while Wanda was taking a bath back in the room. You

“Honey! I’m home!!” Natasha entered the place looking around with her arms full of bags, she raised a brow looking around to see you sprawled on the sofa.

“Honey, I’m freaking tired.” You replied eyeing owlish at Natasha, the older woman snorted making her way to you dropping some of the bags on the sofa.

“So it seems. Where is everyone?” Natasha sat to your left, her hand playing with your hair while her eyes flashed concern. “You look sick.”

“Nah, I’m tired.” You replied sitting up while leaning against the older woman, Natasha was not completely sure about your words but for the time being she would let it slide.

“How was your flight?” You asked to Natsha who could only shrugged.

“It was okay, I was actually wondering if I would make it on time.”

In the last couple of years Natasha had been living in France, after he last mission and clear demands for her retirement she had made sure that no one, much less people from any government would find out where she had been leaving after getting off the grid.

“Good, I think you’re just on time, Wanda was getting ready just before we go to the Christmas market.” You straightened up nodding to the different bags now on your sofa. “Let me take you to your room, you can get ready because you are driving.”

“Oh, sure, put me through the torture of driving you and your wife while my sister and America deal with the twins.”

“You know that’s the only reason I invited you guys over, so someone can watch over them while I have my wicked way with my wife.”

You chuckled watching the face that Natasha was making at the moment, she picked up half of the bags while you helped with the other half.

“Please, keep those torrid details for yourself.” Natasha walked right behind you, her mind making a mental note to ensure you would actually have a good night sleep that day while watching over the twins.

“How’s Wanda? How far along is she?”

“She is fine, she just entered the eight month so she is huge and a little cranky about the whole thing,” You stopped death on your tracks turning to Natasha, “please don’t tell her I told you that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

You sighed in relief resuming your stroll, “I think she has been feeling some discomfort, but she is just to stubborn to say anything about it.”

“A discomfort?” This time around Natasha didn’t hide her worry, the last time had been difficult enough and this time around they had tried to make all the right arrangements to ensure the pregnancy was an easy one.

Tony had helped with that.

“Yeah, I don’t think is anything worth mentioning, but…” You hesitated, your mind was raising red flags, there was something bothering you about the whole situation but Wanda seemed to be fine. “I think the baby is taking up too much energy.”

“So, another powered kid?” Natasha snorted, though her eyes softened lightly. “Are you ready for another one?”

You chuckled shrugging, “obviously, I am not. But I’m just happy to welcome the baby into our lives, I love them already.”

Natasha smiled letting herself be told everything you had done ever since you and Wanda found out about the baby. She was happy to see she didn’t get it wrong the moment Wanda crossed the threshold of that very home to come and ask for help. Natasha had always known the hurt in your heart was deep, and that it would take years to heal, but at the end of the day, your loved for the other woman had been deep and pure enough to just work it out.

And now, after so many fights, so many heartbreaks and misunderstandings, happiness had come alongside peace for the both of you.

“Well, we’re leaving at four, so you ready to make the trip again? I wouldn’t mind if you stay…” You stated watching as Natasha yawned stretching around, the older woman winked at you.

“Don’t worry your little head, Y/N, I’m gonna take a bath and I will be there ready to leave.”

*****

It had become a tradition after the twins had been born.

They had been too small to remember those first times, but Wanda and you always remembered that first time. They were but babies wearing heavy coats and completely covered to protect them from the cold, Wanda had been walking side by side with you, her hand intertwined with yours looking around the town to see the Christmas Market already decorated and filled with decorations appropriate for the holidays. Every year decorations changed, and the Christmas Tree that decorated the main square was usually filled with crazy decorations that brough the attention of the children and everyone in general.

You wrapped your arms around Wanda, the brunette leaned back against your hold her lips curling into a content smile while Billy and Tommy grabbed the hands of Kate and Kamala. Everyone was enjoying the church choir, their voices filling the square with the smell of food and winter.

“Are you happy?” You whispered in her ear, Wanda tilted her head in a way that she could see into your eyes.

Her body relaxed into your embrace with a softening and a gleam you had come to associate with the state she was in. You smiled at her, and soon Wanda was kissing you slowly, the softness of her lips against yours danced for a while until the both of you broke.

“I never thought I would be happy again.” She whispered only for you to hear; you furrowed your brows but your wife eased out your thoughts. “And then you came into my life again and gave me the most beautiful gift ever. So yes, I am happy, Y/N, you are my happiness.”

You nuzzled your face on her hair, your arms tightening protectively around her frame.

“You are my happiness as well, Little Witch.” You pecked her cheek turning your attention to the twins, Tommy was looking back at you two furrowing his brows before turning his attention back to the chorus. “You have given me the most amazing gift anyone can give a person, my family.”

“My wife, such a romantic…” Wanda turned back to the choir clenching her jaw tightly holding her breath for a moment before easing in your arms to try and hide her sudden pain.

While you and Wanda were sitting in the back, America turned to Tommy who was grasping her hand rather tightly. She frowned seeing as the little boy was clenching his eyes close with a stressful expression crossing his young features.

“Tommy, are you alright?”

Billy perked up at the question, he turned worriedly to his brother grabbing his hand frowning at the obvious discomfort coming from his brother.

“Tommy?” Yelena put a hand on Billy’s shoulder to stop him from shaking his brother, Tommy had tears in his eyes lifting his head to America.

The young woman could see the distress behind his brown eyes, his face was contorting into a rictus of pain and confusion.

“Billy…” America started but soon the young boy turned around sharply lifting his hand.

“Mommy!” He exclaimed letting go of America’s hand and running towards Wanda.

The four young women and Billy followed Tommy’s actions, Kamala was the first one to react placing a hand on her mouth her eyes wide open when she realized Wanda was almost on the ground with red mist surrounding her body.

“Shit, what the hell…” America stood up and ran towards them while Kate held onto Billy before he could run towards his mothers.

“Wait, Billy, let’s go slowly…” Kate held onto Billy who was not really struggling against her hold.

Some of the onlookers had also realized that something had happened, many had tried to put their phones out while Kamala lifted a single protective wall around the woman. She and Kate exchanged looks making their way to Wanda.

You should have known that Wanda was not doing okay.

She had erupted into a fit of shivers, before exuding some of her magic and then falling with a hand on her stomach. Natasha was holding her from one side while you were holding the other one; Tommy came right away kneeling in front of Wanda.

“Mommy…” You glanced at your son then at America nodding at her, the young woman grabbed Tommy holding him in her arms.

“Mommy…is fine, baby.” Wanda said through gritted teeth, Tommy shook his head.

“Mommy, the baby…” Tommy started, your eyes open wide in terror when Wanda let out a scream holding her abdomen and crying.

The burst of energy coming from her was almost burning you, Natasha winced almost letting go of Wanda while locking her stare with yours.

“We need to go to a hospital, Love,” You started, Wanda grabbed your hand looking paled.

“Y/N…”

“Mommy!” Tommy struggled against the hold of America, watching with tears as his mom screamed again.

“Damn, I don’t think we can’t move her…” You hesitated lifting your hand, your eyes locked onto your son’s ones. “Tommy, can you help me?”

America put the boy on the ground and he came right towards Wanda, you smiled at him though it came more like a grimace. Tommy didn’t dare to touch Wanda, so he turned to you with big eyes.

“Baby, how is the baby? You can feel them?”

Tommy nodded looking half terrified, half powerless.

“Tommy, is mommy too weak?” You asked again, the boy glanced at Wanda then at you shaking his head.

“Baby, I need you to be strong, you will be with your big sister and your aunty and you and Billy will reach us in the hospital, okay?”

Before Tommy could protest Wanda screamed again, you twitched your hand in the air and the shadows consumed you, Wanda and Natasha. Tommy hugged America tightly, his tears were falling freely getting America’s cheeks and neck wet.

“Mommy.” The little boy whispered, America hugged him tightly lifting him in her arms, she turned to see Billy was now holding onto Kate.

“What the hell happened?” Yelena was as confused as the rest, America leaned back trying to make Tommy lift his eyes.

“Tommy, you know what happened?” America asked softly, the group was already making their way to the car.

“Mommy was sick. The baby was not feeling good.” Tommy mumbled, “she wanted out.”

America stopped death on her tracks, she glanced down at the boy furrowing her brows.

“She?” As far as America knew, you and Wanda had decided to keep the sex of the bay a secret.

No one knew about it, and thus so far all the colours in the room had been neutral colours, or those each one of the family favour. Tommy was crying softly, nodding.

“She is scared, she wants out.”

“You mean, the baby?” America asked once more, Tommy nodded.

“Is mommy okay?” Billy asked, the four women looked at one another then the continued their walk to the car.

“Yes, Billy, she is going to be okay, and your little sister as well.” America tossed the keys to Yelena who wasted not time to go into the car and start the engine.

The hospital was quiet, America and the others came rushing in until one nurse put a finger on her lips glaring at them. America was about to fight, when a hand on her shoulder distracted her. She turned to the source to see Kamala offering a softening stare, America huffed nodding walking towards the reception.

“Hello, good night,” she started in her most diplomatic tone, “I was looking for someone.”

“Of course, tell me…”

“America!” Natasha was coming right in, her pants had some blood on it and the older woman was looking tired.

“Natasha, what happened?”

“Where is Wanda?

“Where is Y/N?”

Natasha lifted a hand, she glanced at the receptionist then back at the women and the twins, she cocked her head signalling a waiting room at the other side of the hall.

Tommy and Billy were holding onto America and Kate respectively, America was comforting the boy in her arms while looking at Natasha waiting for her explanations.

“Well?”

“They are fine, right now they are in surgery.” Natasha explained, she lifted a calming hand to the sudden outburst of inquiries. “Wanda has been feeling the discomfort for quite some time, she didn’t say anything so Y/N or anyone would get scared and Christmas would be ruined.”

“That’s stupid! We wouldn’t care if the baby decides to come first! She could have told us and save us this heart attack.” Yelena crossed her arms looking away. “This is so stupid.”

Natasha let her hand rested on Yelena’s forearm, the young Widow huffed though she leaned closer to the touch. Tommy and Billy were holding hands, the came closer with their eyes filled with tears and their little faces showing the emotions going through them. There was a palpable tension in each and every single person in the hall, the sound of people coming in and out of the hospital alongside the voices of the staff were soon forgotten in favour to Natasha holding the twins.

Kamala grabbed America’s hand leaning against her frame, while Kate hooked her arm with Yelena’s one. The stood there for a moment, America berating herself for not being more attentive and letting those little discomforts pass instead of raised the alarm with Y/N and Natasha and Yelena.

“Is mommy okay?” Billy asked in a thin voice, he cuddled closer to Natasha who nodded briefly.

“Yes, Billy, she is fine.”

“Is her tummy hurting?” Tommy mumbled wiggling the fingers of his hand, “mummy was sad and her tummy was making pum pum pum and not bum bum bum like always.”

Natasha creased her brows at the explanation, she knew Tommy was the sensitive one and he was the one showing magical abilities that would be similar to those of Wanda. You had told her several stories in which the boy would be the first one to know exactly how others feel, and he was always ready to help. He had been the first one to sense something different in Wanda, and was always overprotective of his mother as soon as he found out he was going to be a big brother.

“Tommy, did you see something different about mommy?” Natasha finally asked leaning back, the little boy crossed stares with Billy before nodding.

“Mummy is always shinning,” here Tommy stretched his arms with big, brown eyes, “and she is warm, but…”

“She is gloomy and cold.” Billy ended having heard his brothers theory.

“Is mummy sick because of me?” Tommy’s eyes filled with tears, “I try to be good big brother, auntie Tasha, I swear.”

“Oh, baby no, you’re not to blame.” This time around Natasha hugged the twins tightly. “Mummy is just pregnant and these things can happen to anyone, you did so well protect mummy with Billy.”

“That’s right, Little dude, it’s just that your sibling wants to be born now, it is nothing else.” This time around it was Kate the one saying this, she knelt placing her hand on Tommy’s back.

“You guys are amazing, and right now that baby is going to be the luckiest one having such brave big brothers like the both of you.” Yelena continued placing her hand on Billy’s head.

The twins seemed to calm down under these words, both of them holding onto Kate and Yelena who decided to take them for a little walk to the hospital cafeteria. Natasha waited until they were far away before turning to America, the young woman had the same concern stare as the twins thought she was tyring to hide it behind a façade of faux bravery.

“How are they, really?”

Natasha sighed pointing to the closest chairs leading America and Kamala there.

“Wanda was in pain, her blood pressure dropped and by the time the doctor could do a quick checkup he decided the best option was for a c-section.”

“How is Y/N? Can we see them? What about the baby?” America was bouncing on the chair, her left leg was raising rapidly as she tapped the ground with her heel.

Kamala placed a soothing hand on her leg, leaning closer with her eyes on Natasha. America leaned into the touch dropping her eyes while taking a deep breath, Natasha saw as the young woman started taking deep breaths glancing at Kamala while offering a weak smile.

“Wanda is in surgery right now, they allowed Y/N to be there.” Natasha leaned back, she took a deep breath placing a hand on her eyes. “The doctor said this is normal, and that up until two weeks ago everything was just fine with the pregnancy, I guess having a powered child is really far too much sometimes.”

“Is she gonna be okay? What about the baby?” This time it was Kamala the one asking the questions, Natasha dropped her hand turning green eyes to the young woman.

“They are going to be fine, but we will have to wait.”

*****

 It was past midnight by the time you finally could sit down on the hospital chair.

Your arms were holding the small frame of your daughter, a beautiful baby girl that was fast asleep with a crunched-up nose and closed fists. You held the baby closer to your chest, tears in your eyes while Wanda slept; you had never be so scared before that moment. The fact that Wanda had hidden her pain, and then the news that the surgery could be a dangerous ordeal and probably stressful for both, the baby and Wanda, left you powerless to do anything at all.

It had taken less than a couple of hours for you to almost lose your baby and your wife.

Your heart shrank painfully inside your chest, the heavy void that settled in your abdomen was still tingling inside your body.

“You gave us quite the scare, baby girl.” You whispered poking the kid on her nose, softening the moment she wriggled her nose but kept sleeping in your arms.

There was a knock on the door, but before you could say anything at all the door opened and you could see your friends and family coming on. Your eyes lit up watching as Billy and Tommy came to you rubbing their eyes, their steps were tentative and their eyes were searching around until they found the bundle in your arms.

“Where’s mummy?” Tommy asked in a groggy voice, you glanced at Natasha then at Tommy and Billy.

“Mummy is still with the doctor, baby.” You leaned forward nodding to the twins. “You guys wanna meet your baby sister?”

The boys nodded eagerly coming closer to you, both of them leaned forward being careful in their movements. Their eyes went big, and soon their mouths drew a smile while glancing at you and the baby.

“She is too small!” Billy said with his hand twitching at his side.

“She is.”

“What’s her name?” Tommy asked cocking his head.

“Well, baby, since mummy and I didn’t want to name the baby until they were born, we haven’t decided.” You winced sheepishly lifting your face to the adults in the room. “I guess she would be Baby Girl Maximoff until I can talk to Wanda.”

America approached you, her eyes showing not only how tired she felt but the tears she had shared moments ago with Natasha under the stress of the night. You nodded at her lifting your arms, in a silent offer for the young woman to carry the baby. America didn’t waste any time running to another chair and getting ready to hold the baby.

“You guys didn’t choose a name? Really?” Yelena finally asked watching from afar, while she loved the twins and she had helped raised them, when they had been born she had been the last one to pick them up. They had been so small she was afraid of hurting them.

“Well, we did think about it, we just…” You trailed off letting out a heavy sigh, your hand went to the back of your head scratching softly. “I want to do it with Wanda.”

Natasha gave you a hug, whispering in your ear.

“How is she?”

“She was not doing fine, they took her to the ICU for observation. The baby, she was so healthy and so full of energy…” You hugged. “The doctor thinks is because of her particularity, we still haven’t figure it out and he said if we want he could sent some samples to Stark Industries for further investigation…”

“You want them to dig into it?” Natsha inquired but you shook your head.

“I know my babies are special, Tasha, not because of their powers but because they are ours.” You replied looking while the four women all dotted on the baby talking with Billy and Tommy while making fun of America and Yelena’s childish behaviour.

“I guess at some point we will need to find out if it is too much, but for now everything is just as it should have been…Wanda was just spending too much with the baby and since she didn’t say anything…”

“I know.” Natasha hesitated before grabbing your hand. “You can go, I watch over them and the baby.”

Your face broke into a grateful smile, you leaned in kissing Natsha on her cheek.

“Thank you.”

With one last glance to the baby and the twins, you turned around and left to make your way to the ICU.

This was the quietest place in the hospital.

There were cubicles big enough to hold a bed with the multiple machines necessary to keep a person alive. It smelt strongly to antiseptic mixed with blood, the nurse station was lone but you didn’t need anyone giving you directions, you knew exactly where you wanted to go.

Wanda was paled, with bags under her eyes and her hair sprawl on the pillow. She was fast asleep, tired after the ordeal he had suffered early in the evening. You approached the bed, your heart ripping away at the sight; when your hand grabbed hers your blood turned cold. She was freezing.

With fear gripping up your throat, you leaned in placing a kiss on your wife’s forehead.

“Hey, Little Witch, how are you doing?” You held back your sobs, brushing your lips on her forehead. “You were so brave today, love. Our baby girl is so strong, she is with our family and her big brothers right now. We all are waiting for you.”

You lifted her hand to your lips, placing a single kiss on her knuckles you rubbed the single hand in yours trying to share some of your body warmth through the massages. You wished there was something else you could do, that there was something else you could say but at the moment you were just lost.

Never before did you imagine you would see Wanda like this. Bringing over a chair to be as close to Wanda as you could, you placed another kiss on her hand smiling through your tears you started talking to your wife making sure she knew you were waiting for her.

Wanda felt her body stirred painfully.

She knew she should be worried about, though she was not completely sure what it was.

She opened her mouth trying to grasp the air while her eyes were struggling to be opened. There was something holding her hand, it was warm and comforting, she stirred once more and with some effort made herself open her eyes.

“Ugh…” She let out a moan closing her eyes before blinking away the blinding light of the lights above her head.

“Wanda!”

Wanda knew that voice, without thinking too much she opened her eyes and sure enough they you were. Whatever fear or uncertainty she felt moments ago, it disappeared as soon as she registered your voice and saw your frame through blurry glances.

“Y/N…” Her voice sounded rough, unused, and her heart jumped wildly in her chest when you placed a single kiss on her lips.

“My Little Witch, you’re awake.” There was some commotion she could catch with her ears, she wanted to talk and ask what had happened, but the drowsiness was overwhelming and soon she was falling into a pit of darkness.

The second time she woke up, the light of the day was filtering through the blinds. She opened her eyes slowly, first making sure she would not hurt herself or that her body was actually hers and no more side effects of a drug were affecting her senses. Once she had made herself conscious of her body, she went to remember what had happened.

Like a jolt of electricity her hand went to her abdomen and she went to sit up right away.

A pair of hands on her shoulders stopped her from doing a brusque movement, and it wasn’t until then that she saw your face bringing over a peacefulness she only allowed around you.

“Y/N.” This time around the name came dry, but it was clear.

“Hey, Little Witch.” You stood up bringing over a glass of water with a straw. “Here you can drink just a little to wet your mouth and throat.”

Wanda did that, her eyes moving frantically around the room.

“Y/N, the baby…”

She gauged your expression, and while there was sadness there Wanda could tell you were just relief. You grabbed her hand putting some strands of hair out of the way, leaning in to place a single kiss on her forehead.

“The baby is fine, America and the others are watching over her.”

“Her?” Wanda asked confusedly, you nodded and this time around you couldn’t hide your smile.

“We have a baby girl, my love.”

Wanda sighed in relief, she lifted her head and you understood her need right away. When your lips closed around hers your heart soared with relief and love for the woman you thought you had lost. You kissed Wanda with the emotions that had overwhelmed you in the last couple of days.

“What happened? Are you okay? The Twins?”

“Hey, it’s okay, I will tell you everything and it is going to be fine,” you stated raining kisses all over Wanda’s face, “you don’t know just how much I love you, and how happy you make me every day, Wanda.”

“Y/N, what is it? What happened?” This time around Wanda couldn’t hide the concern in her voice, your actions were making her worried but you just kept placing kisses on her while grabbing her hand in yours.

“Just…give me a moment, please? I need to know you are okay, that you are here.”

“I am here, love, I always will be.”

You smiled before wrapping your arms around Wanda allowing the tears to fall, the fears that had consumed you in the last couple of days finally dissipating under the embrace of your wife.

__________________________

New Years Eve came with a light snow, and the glimpses of a cold wintery sun above the sky.

Wanda sat by the window of the baby’s room.

She was sitting on the nursery glider feeding the baby while everyone got ready to welcome the new year. The last couple of days had been a total rush, with everything happening in the blink of an eye without giving time to anyone to process the events. Wanda had woken up in the hospital after being unconscious for a week, the doctor had been monitoring her case and they had made sure she had everything she needed it to improve her condition but, at the end of the day, everything seemed to be up to her to get along with the recovery.

When she finally woke up, she found herself scared for her baby and her family. He could see the devastating effect the situation had on you, the lack of sleep and the deep pain this caused in you was still visible from time to time in your eyes. It had taken some time, bit after a full check-up and two days under medical observation, Wanda was free to go home.

Christmas had already come and gone, and now she was just waiting to start a new chapter in her life with you and her family. Wanda softened her stare when her eyes fell upon the form of her baby girl. She had been a miracle child; a part of Wanda had already sensed just the power residing inside her. It was all consuming at first until it was finally getting into tune with Wanda’s powers and energy. A part of her had always brushed it off mainly because she thought it was supposed to be that way, but after the scared all of them suffered she realized she should have said something about it.

“You’re gonna be a troublemaker, I can see it now.” Wanda whispered poking the baby’s nose lightly, the little girl opened her eyes watching her with innocence before snuggling closer to her mother.

“I surely hope no, I can already see the kind of trouble she will bring when she starts dating.” You were leaning on the wall watching Wanda in silence, the young woman smiled at you.

“Are you thinking about that already? She is just a child!” Wanda giggled when you approached her, your lips had always been a source of comfort and tenderness, your kisses made her heart tingled and her soul soared with love.

“Our child.” You whispered without breaking the kiss, Wanda sighed leaning against you holding the baby tightly. “How are you?”

Wanda could tell the traces of concern shinning in your eyes, she lifted her hand to cup your cheek offering the most tender smile she could muster you with.

“I’m amazing, love, thank you for always worrying about me.”

You mirrored her smile placing a hand on top of hers, “I don’t know what I would do if you were not in my life, Wanda. After we found one another again, you and the children became my everything.”

“I know, love. You are my everything, you and our family.” Wanda lowered her gaze where the baby was fast asleep. “Elizabeth.”

“Uh?” You furrowed your brows turning to Wanda.

“Elizabeth.” She repeated glancing from you to the baby. “A couple of months ago you started talking about baby names, and this one got you so excited at that time.”

“It has a lot of history, you know?” You replied rather shyly, Wanda chuckled nodding. “It is a beautiful name, I just…you meant it?”

“Yeah, you like it?”

You blinked a couple of times before answering, “welcome to the family, Elizabeth Maximoff.”

The baby was still fast asleep, but Wanda felt her heart melting under your words. She could feel your love pouring right out to her and the baby, your lips bringing comfort before you lifted Elizabeth in your arms placing her on her crib. A flash of doubt passed through Wanda’s eyes, but you grabbed her hand putting her to you, your left hand on her hip and the right hand holding her left hand.

“She is going to be okay, I will watch over her with my shadows and we can go and see what you sons have been working on in the last couple of days.”

“Oh, God, Tommy and Billy,” Wanda exclaimed ready to leave but stopped when you held her back offering a comforting smile. “I forgot about them! I don’t think…”

“They are big brothers now, Little Witch, they understand what you have been doing lately.” You nuzzled your nose against hers. “We all understand. They are going to be out there waiting for you.”

Wanda slowed down her breathing closing her eyes while melting away in your arms.

“I don’t know what I did right to be back in your life, but I just…” Wanda had tears in her eyes, you chuckled kissing her eyes softly.

“A part of me knew you were my happiness, Wands. It took time, and heartbreak but…we are here, together.”

“Do you regret it?” Wanda asked out of the blue, you blinked a couple of times before shaking your head.

“I don’t regret a single thing in our past, Wands.” Wanda furrowed her brow ready to argue but you put a single finger on her lips. “I don’t. Whatever happened, however it happened, it brought us to where we are today, if it hadn’t been because of this you and I would have never found our paths again and would have never understood the importance of being who we are, of always being honest…of never give up.”

Wanda didn’t mean for the tears to start rolling down her cheeks, but it happened. You cupped her face in your hands, your eyes completely locked with hers.

“We got together at the right time, and we came back to each other when we were meant to. Now, we have a family, and a life full of love and adventures, a life away from the dangers of the world.”

“I thought you missed it, that perhaps…” Wanda sobbed hugging you tightly. “I love you.”

You chuckled hugging her back, your arms wrapping comfortingly around her. You knew about her fears, she had told you everything about them in her moments of weakness. You were always there listening to her and comforting her making sure she knew she deserved to be happy and that, whatever bad had happened in the past, shouldn’t be replicated it in her future.

“I love you too, Wanda. With all my heart. You and my family are all that matters to me now.”

“You are the very beat of my heart, Y/N. Thank you for giving me my family, thank you for being my family.”

You kissed her with all the love you held for her. Your lips moulding with hers, your hands mapping her form while putting her closer to your body; Wanda smiled into the kiss her arms wrapping tenderly around your shoulders. You pressed your forehead against hers, her eyes gleaming contentedly as they looked into yours.

“Are you planning on the fourth child, Mrs. Maximoff?” You asked earning a light-hearted laugh from Wanda, the woman winked at you breaking the contact while grabbing your hand and dragging you towards the door.

“Perhaps, are you ready for another one?” She asked coyly, you chuckled shaking your head.

“Oh, I am, though I was thinking we could…you know? Have some fun first.”

“Patience, my love, patience always pays, right?”

You grinned nodding, “it always does.”

______________________________________________________________

Author's Note: So, this is the end.

This story was everything to me, and it happened in a moment of my life in which I have to live a lot of things. I grew so much, and I really love the final turn it took. I hope you guys like it as much as I love writing it, and I will see you in the next adventure!

[poke-me-with-a-stick]

Penguin Danny would gladly travel to the highest peaks to slide down in a speed of 80 Miles per hour down to take fight

Being a penguin is great for many reasons, Danny thinks. The insulated feathers allow for better comfort in the snow, not that his ice core didn't help with that already. Adult penguins were ten times more attentive than his own parents, which was an awesome plus.

But most of all, being a penguin meant that his body was incredibly aerodynamic. Sledding down steep slopes on his stomach was way more fun that any sled he had ever used! And the higher he went, the faster he got!

The only issue being, the teen really needed to pay closer attention to the bottom of the slope. He cursed himself as he neared the bottom, having found the highest snowy peak yet and managed to make his way to the top before any of those puffy coated people could herd him back towards the colony.

He fully blames his baby mind, completely disregarding the fact that he was fully cognate at the moment. The teen braced himself as he felt the ground slope upwards slightly, sending his extremely fast moving body soaring.

Distantly, he could hear the alarmed cries of the puffy coats, as well as the distress from the costumed children that had been chasing the GIW off. It didn't really matter, though. All he could focus on was the weightless feeling of flight. It had been a while since he had flown, not wanting to risk hurting himself if his ghost powers fizzled out or something, so he thinks he can be excused for the fact when gravity took hold again, he barely noticed.

He only noticed when his flipper clipped the side of a GIW agent's head. The action sent the man to the ground, and completely threw off Danny's trajectory, sending the teen beak-first into a decently deep snow drift.

Crunching snow alerted him to someone's presence before the warm grip of gloved hands around his midsection, but he still wiggled in surprise as he was gently tugged grew of the snow. Shaking his head, Danny looked over to the traffic light child beside him, who was looking him over for any injuries.

The teen couldn't resist patting the cloaked figure's head with his flipper, before he turned back towards the slope he had just come down. Not that the initial shock was wearing off, the only thing that Danny wanted to do was get back up there and try again. Maybe he could stay in the air a little longer this time, without the moron in white in his way!

As he waddled off as fast as he could, Robin shook himself out of his own shock and hurried after the large baby penguin. Like Hell was he letting that happen again!

[bauliya]

hi :) i’m usamerican and also a librarian, and I really want to offer up my library system as a way for people to get free cards and hella (!!!) online library access — I’m sending it here on anon because I don’t want to doxx myself and I also think it might have a better chance of reaching the people it’d benefit via your account. I realize that’s kind of presumptuous so i understand if you ignore this!

all that said — How To Get A Free Library Card With Libby Access To 8 Different MA Library Systems

(note that that is SYSTEMS and some systems have multiple libraries within them!)

CLAMS (cape libraries automated materials sharing) libraries will register you for a card, totally free —you do need to call but the process is super easy, and if you call Snow Library of Orleans or Wellfleet Public I can vouch that everyone there should be friendly :)

once you have your card you can download the Libby app and sign in, and it gives you super easy access to audiobooks and ebooks from 8 different ma library systems

this also isn’t your only option, there are many libraries that will do the same or similar across the us. and even if internet access is an issue, if you are usamerican and have a local library there’s a decent chance it has public computers and maybe even a phone you can use (so even if its collection isn’t very good you might be able to use it to get library access elsewhere too)

ALSO literally just ask your local librarians for help accessing knowledge & resources we are there to help and there’s so many more ways we can do that than just checking out books we already have on the shelves

you are an angel sent from heavens !! ALSO MA libraries are super super great!!!!

also if anyone, anyone at all, wants to drop an NYPL and/or LAPL card into my anon as a birthday gift or a Christmas gift or a new years gift I will love you forever and ever I will even write you omegaverse porn if you so wish

[haveateadude]

bleak horizons ii.

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ christmas and hot chocolate

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, family issues, and i think that's it?? it's mostly fluff??

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ why is it christmas you might be wondering... well i don't fucking know okay??😭😭wrote this when i was in another country and it was cold and it reminded me of christmas so i wrote this. anyway. this one is boring as FUCK... just saying. i'm embarrassed about posting this actually. also, i accidentally put this on chat gpt and it gave me more than 10 things i had to fix so. don't get your hopes up LMAO

hope y'all have a great day, night, morning or whatever. take care of yourselves!!!!!!! if u don't you're an asshole.

AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT ON MY LAST POST!!!!!!!!! i love everyone who liked it :)) even just knowing people have read it makes my heart warm. i really thought it would get cero recognition, y'all are amazing <3

(readers mental health gets addressed in the next chapter btw)

(not proofread either, sorry if there's any mistake)

pt1 — pt2 — pt3

i don't wanna talk about anything

i wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again

wanna witness your eyes looking

For Christmas, I go to Ellie's house, and I lie to my mother about having too much work. She says it's fine, which weirds me out. I never thought she would say yes. I’m excited and happy to go to Ellie’s house, anyway. This is important, I feel—meeting her family, I mean. She never speaks much about them, but I know she's adopted, and that she gets along with them. She also never met her mother. She says she had her aunt to teach her all that Joel couldn't, like what periods were, how to wash her clothes, and how to paint her nails with her left hand.

I think a part of me is afraid to go because I'm afraid I'll get attached. My mother never taught me what periods were and my father never seemed to know what empathy was. Her family sounds like a dream to me.

"We’re here," Ellie says with a smile on her face as she pulls up on the side of the road next to a white house. It’s got a green lawn, it looks nicely cared for, and a white picket fence. I take a deep breath, I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I think Ellie senses that. She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it, which feels comforting. "Hey, just know my dad is really fucking chill. It’s just going to be us, and my uncle's family. They’re going to love you, I promise."

"Okay," I nod because I know it and that's what I'm afraid of. I look outside the window. It’s Christmas Eve. It's already snowing. I then stare at Ellie's eyes and smile. I kiss her and when I pull apart I speak. "I don't want to go out, it's cold."

"C’mon, let’s go inside then. I don’t want you to freeze in this car."

I nod and fix my hair in the mirror before I go out. The cold makes me unable to feel my face or my hands, so when I go inside I'm a bit surprised by how warm it is. Ellie makes me hand her my coat and my stuff, and she puts mine and hers aside.

The house inside looks way better than it does outside. The lights are dim, the Christmas tree has colorful lights wrapped around it, and it smells like an apple pie is cooking. It feels like an actual home, and the chimney is decorated with socks, and next to it, on the wall, are pictures of young Ellie.

"You look cute," I tell her, speaking about the photos, as she walks towards me.

She blushes, her ears go red, "Uh, you weren't meant to see that."

"Oh, stop it," I chuckle. "You look adorable.”

"I bet you looked way more adorable than me."

"I looked like a disfigured mosquito with a big ass."

Ellie laughs as her hand goes to my hip, "First of all, if you were a disfigured mosquito—which you're not by the way—I would still like you; second of all, I love your big ass."

"Oh, so that's all you love about me?" I ask, teasingly, slightly tilting my head. "Just my ass?"

I feel Ellie's hands move downwards, nearly gripping my butt, before I hear someone clearing their throat. I'm so red I'm not even a tomato... I probably look like a fucking chili pepper or something.

I know it's Joel because Ellie has a picture of him with her on her nightstand. She looks at Joel as her hands linger on my hips for a second, then she takes them off and walks towards him.

"Joel," Ellie says, hugging him. "Hey, old man."

"Kiddo, you've grown so much."

"I look the same as last month."

"Yeah, just thought it’d make you feel better."

Ellie laughs as she pulls apart. I just stand there, awkwardly behind Ellie. Finally, Joel looks at me.

"Oh, hi," he says, now looking at me. "Ellie has talked a lot about you."

I nod, "Thanks for letting me stay, Mr. Miller."

"Just call me Joel."

"Well," Ellie interrupts. "We're going to my room, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, I'll tell you when Tommy and Maria get here."

Ellie takes our bags, which she insists on doing alone, and leads me to her room.

Her room, it's… so her. Posters of bands cover every inch of her walls, and her desk is stained with paint.

I sit on her bed and look around as she sits next to me.

"I like your room," I tell her, feeling her knee bump against mine. She's so close to me I can feel her breath on my neck. 

"It’s messy, though." She’s looking at me, but I can't dare to look at her. 

I feel guilty for not being at home now, it gnaws at me. Is mom alone? And why do I care? Why do I feel guilt over the person who made me hurt more? She always wants to fight—there's always constant battles between us, battles she always wins. So why do I miss her and why is it hard to accept?

"What are you thinking?"

I chuckle, "It’s nothing."

"Well—alright," she lets the subject the subject slip. She kisses my cheek and then my lips and her hands roam my body. We just make out, though.

Christmas dinner goes fine. Better than I thought it would. The Millers are like a real family, they talk to me like they've known me for years, even though I feel like an intruder in their house. I don't want to be fond of them, or else I'll cling to them like they're family.

Maria and Tommy have a baby and most of the night is spent with Ellie cradling the baby and me sitting next to him. We drink hot chocolate with marshmallows. This is the happiest I've ever been at Christmas.

At night, I leave Ellie's warm embrace to go for a glass of water. I can't sleep, my mind is racing and it won't shut off.

When I go downstairs Joel is sitting at the kitchen table, I don't know what to say to him. Which is okay, because he speaks first.

"Can't sleep?" He asks.

For a moment I think he has confused me for Ellie, because why is he talking to me?

"Yeah," I say, getting my glass of water.

"I won't give the 'hurt my daughter and I'll kill you' talk if that's what you're worried about."

I try to laugh, "Thanks, I guess. You're—you're a great dad."

"Well, you're a great kid."

"Thank you," I answer because I don't know what else to say. He's indeed a great dad. He's funny and nice and caring. I've seen the way he talks to Ellie. Unlike my father he doesn't look at her daughter like he's trying to fix their relationship, therefore their conversations don't look forced; Ellie has referred to me as her girlfriend at Christmas dinner, and all Joel did was smile. It made me want to throw up, even if I felt welcomed.

"Hey—uh, I'm sorry if I approach this in the wrong way… but Ellie has told me that your mother is causing you trouble."

"Yeah," I don't know what to say, again. How do I answer this? How should I feel about this? "She's been a little difficult, but you know. It's the normal mother-daughter fight, nothing to worry about."

"Okay," he nods. "If you want you can talk to me, or Ellie—she's… she's been a little worried."

I hadn't seen that coming. Is Ellie's worried?

"I—I will talk to her. Thank you."

She doesn't want you. She's your friend, she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think she'll leave.

I want to say Mr. Miller but I know he wants me to call him Joel—which makes me a little awkward. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Get the rest you need," he smiles. "Leave the cup on the table, I'll wash it."

I wake up being the little spoon.

Ellie has her arms wrapped around me like she's afraid I'll leave. As I slowly open my eyes I can also feel Ellie shifting behind me.

"Morning," she speaks in her morning voice, the vibration of her voice against my neck sends shivers down my spine—in a good way.

I smile, "Hey."

"How did you sleep?"

"More than good. Your bed is very comfortable."

"Yeah," she pulls me closer to her front, "I could stay here forever."

We don't stay there forever, though, because we open presents. It's just Joel, Ellie, and me. Surprisingly there's one for me from Joel, and Maria and Tommy.

Ellie gave me a necklace and a ring, which might seem simple to others but I had been planning on buying it for a fucking long while. It always was out of sale. And the ring had a moon on it.

"Fuck, Ellie," I say as I look at her, sitting on the floor with my legs crossed. "This is amazing, I love this."

"Yeah?" She asks. She's sitting next to me, her legs stretched out, resting her weight on one of her arms behind her. I notice she looks flushed. Her cheeks are slightly more pink than they always are.

I nod, kissing her, "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

She chuckles after I give her one last kiss, "Time to open mine now, I guess."

I look at her as she opens what I gave her. It's small, compared to what she gave me. Is just one of the first pictures we took together framed, just after I moved in. I also gave her a white silver beaded bracelet I had made.

"I remember this day," she says, looking at the picture. "I remember I was trying to impress you all day long, you know? I just wanted to make you laugh... and well, you did."

I chuckle, "I did laugh at all your jokes, but I think that's just because I have a very shitty humor."

"I'm glad we share it."

Ellie looks at the bracelet and the framed photo with a tender smile, her eyes glistening.

"I love it," she says softly, as she puts the photo down, her voice barely above a whisper. "I love you."

Her words make my heart race, and I feel my cheeks heat up.

"I love you too," I reply, my voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside me. I think this is the happiest I've ever been; I think I'll remember this moment forever.

We spend the rest of the morning together, laughing and sharing stories. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I belong somewhere.

After breakfast, as Ellie and I sit on the couch with our fingers intertwined, Joel comes over with a cup of hot chocolate.

"Merry Christmas, you two," he says with a kind smile, handing us the mugs.

"Merry Christmas," I say.

Alright, yeah. This might be the best Christmas I've ever had.

[artist-issues]

yo, some of the stuff on your blog has finally given me the ability to articulate something I haven't been able to before. (this'll be long but I don't think you'll mind lol)

the reason I've had such an issue with a lot of the "think critically of your media" sentiment I see online, is that people aren't really thinking critically about what a story(media) is saying, but what potentially bad thing it could be saying.

people would say "remember that no story is perfect!", but then demand stories be perfect anyway and condemn them as problematic for... not even their actual flaws, just perceived and potential flaws. stories would be condemned as saying something bad just because you could force a bad thing out of them, even if the argument wasn't logically sound. you could never enjoy something without a constant disclaimer of "I pretty promise I'm aware of the bigoted tropes and I don't believe them 😁" . it was exhausting.

as an example: I've seen people condemn the trope of robots or aliens (non-human people) acting like autistic people as implying autistic people aren't human... but it does not at all logically follow "this robot acts autistic, therefore if you're autistic, you're a robot", and none of the stories I know of with autistic "coded" aliens and robots are used to communicate that! yet the trope gets accused of that, even though it usually just exists to say "people should be treated as people even if they're weird", or ask "what if you don't fit in?" or "why do we(humanity generally) act this way? what if we didn't?" etc.

there's nothing inherently wrong with that trope. it's not actually saying anything bad, but people would twist it into saying something bad, and get angry at the pretzel they just made for being twisted!

but that's not actual critical thinking! you're not analyzing something to find out what it is, just what the worst possible thing it could be is (even if it doesn't logically follow). like that cursed mirror from "the snow queen".

---

all this to say: your method of asking "what is this story trying to say? what did this story say? and is that true?" is so much better and such a realer example of "critical thinking" than what gets passed off for it a lot of the time.

I appreciate this and agree with all of it!

[cecilysass]

Beacon (4/6)

Read on AO3 | Tagging @today-in-fic and my poangpal @libbytxf

Malina Knight lives in a ranch house off the state highway that is almost entirely swallowed by the snow-crusted woods that surround it on three sides.

It’s a rustic place that Mulder might think pleasant enough under normal circumstances—maybe a little shabby around the edges—but this afternoon, it strikes him as gloomy and forgotten. The trees shut out most direct light, so the walk up the front path, crunchy with hardened snow, is dark and cold.

There is a child’s Batman bike half buried in the snow. Mulder eyes it speculatively a moment before continuing up the walk to knock on the door.

The door cracks open a hair. “Who is it?”

“Ms. Knight?” Mulder clears his throat. “This is Agent Fox Mulder. We spoke on the phone earlier?”

“I remember,” comes the cautious voice.

“I told you I was going to come ask you some questions about your husband Jim. I won’t take very much of your time.”

“Jim died,” she says bluntly. “They said it was his heart.”

“Yes, I know,” Mulder says, softening his tone. “And I’m truly sorry about your loss. I just have some questions to ask you that could help other people. If you open the door, I can, uh, show you my badge.”

The door widens at once, and Mulder sees who he’s talking to. She’s very thin, the bones in her face visible. Late thirties maybe, long dull blonde hair, unkempt. She looks like she has forgotten how to have feelings.

“It’s okay,” she says flatly. “I’ll help you. You don’t need to show me anything.”

***

“Jim and I met at singles group at church,” Malina says. She lifts a photo off of the end table to show him. “Here we are right after we started dating. Bowling Night. See?”

Mulder politely looks at the photo of Jim Knight with his arm around Malina in better times, lifting brightly colored marbled bowling balls for the camera. “You look very happy.”

“We were happy,” breathes Malina. “People worried, because there was an age difference. But we were always so happy.”

“Age difference?” Mulder studies the photo of the two of them.

“Only fourteen years. It bothered some of my friends, but it never bothered me. Because love is more important than numbers. Don’t you agree, Agent Mulder?”

Mulder lifts a shoulder noncommittally. “Did the age difference become an issue in your marriage?”

“No,” Malina says firmly. She looks at the photo in Mulder’s hand and her expression grows less certain. “At least … I don’t think it did.”

“Ms. Knight, I’m sorry to ask this,” Mulder says, watching her carefully, “but were there any difficulties in your marriage at the time he died?”

Malina’s lip trembles. “He needed some time,” she says. “A fishing trip. Some time away, to let us cool off.”

Mulder considers her wording. “He needed to cool off?”

“Jim could have a temper,” Malina says. “But it wasn’t anything serious, not really,” she adds. “He loved us. I know he did. Everyone could see it.”

Mulder walks to the mantel and picks up a large framed wedding photo. In that photo, Malina, dressed in white, has wrapped her arms around Jim’s neck and is beaming rapturously at him.

“You have a child?” Mulder says. His eyes roam over the photos on the mantel. Jim holding up a baby in overalls. Malina pregnant. Both of them swinging a toddler. “A son?”

“Our son Lyle,” Malina says, sounding like she’s behind a glass frame herself. “He’s seven.”

Mulder listens for a few seconds for any sounds in the house. “Where’s Lyle now?”

“He’s at my mom’s,” Malina says. “I…” She runs her fingers through her long blonde hair. “Well, I’m just not in a good place these days, since Jim. My mom is helping me out with Lyle, until I can get my head on straight.” Her eyes dart around anxiously, settling at last on the floor.

Mulder nods, pensively taking in her entire demeanor. She is, he’ll admit, not quite what he expected.

“They told me it was his heart.” Malina looks up with tears like ice shards all over her cheeks. “Do you think that someone killed Jim, Agent Mulder?” she says, her pitch rising. “Because yeah, our marriage wasn’t in great shape. Jim was unhappy. We were hoping to work it out. But I always, always loved him. I’d never have done something to hurt him. He’s the love of my life.”

The framed wedding photo is still in Mulder’s hand.

His world suddenly begins collapsing all around him as he sets it down carefully on the mantle.

“I think I understand you,” Mulder manages to say in a strange voice.

Malina loved her husband. Her heart was full of longing.

But it was Jim Knight’s heart that was stopped.

“Good,” Malina says. She wraps her arms around herself, nodding rapidly. “Good.”

Mulder staggers a little backwards, nearly tripping over the coffee table in the process.

Malina squints at him. “Are you okay?”

“I …” Mulder’s mind is flooded with terrible, terrible images, images that make him break out instantly into a cold sweat. “I’m so sorry… but I have to go. I need to get back to my hotel. Right now.”

“Are you feeling all right?”

“I realized that… it isn’t…” He breaks off, swallowing. “I’ll be in touch, Ms. Knight. Thank you.”

***

He’s walking so fast to the car, trying to dial Scully as he does, that his feet begin to slip under him on the ice. He has to stop and steady himself, extending his hand with his phone out for balance, cursing.

As soon as he can, he smacks the phone back to his ear. She’s not answering. “Pick up, Scully. Fucking pick up the phone.”

His foot slams on the gas, and he begins to tear too fast on icy country highways back to the Beacon Inn.

Please, he thinks, it might be pathetic, it might be absurd, but she’s my only light in dark places.

***

By the time he pulls back into the parking spot at the Inn, he’s shaking all over like he’s twelve again, like he never grew into the adult he resembles. He forces himself to be steady, to think clearly.

He rushes through the door, waving a distracted hand at Banoy behind the desk, and he races for the stairs, thumping up two and three at a time.

There’s no ghost woman waiting for him in the hall. No living woman either.

“Scully,” he shouts. He bangs on her door. “Scully,” he calls louder. He realizes he should have asked Banoy for an extra key. If she is in cardiac distress, every second will count. He could have asked Banoy to call for the hospital right away. He tries to remember how to do CPR; he thinks he can—

Scully, wearing her glasses and holding a stack of papers, opens her door with an amazed expression.

“Mulder,” she says calmly, “why the hell are you screaming in the hall?”

“Scully,” he breathes in relief, his eyes drinking her in. He wants to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight, but he knows he can’t, he shouldn’t.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I—” He realizes certain limits in what he can say. “Why weren’t you answering your phone?”

She scowls, walking over to the bedside table to pick her phone up. “I guess reception is spotty here,” she says. “I didn’t hear your call. Did something … happen?”

Mulder walks inside, his adrenaline still coursing. He feels like he may never be able to stop moving again. He paces a little back and forth to try to burn off his excess tension. “I was wrong,” he says. “Duncan was wrong. It can’t be that the ghost is targeting unrequited love. Because Malina Knight? Scully, that lady loved her husband. If anything, it was her love that was unrequited. Her feelings seem like they were stronger.”

Scully backs up to sit on the edge of the bed, giving him a quizzical look. “So now you think the ghost could be killing people who are the focus of unrequited love?”

“I don’t know,” Mulder says, throwing his hands up. His pulse is still racing. “I don’t know anything about the other victims.”

“And how do you know that Jim Knight wasn’t simply in unrequited love with someone else?” Scully says practically. “You know. With someone besides his wife.”

Mulder stops pacing mid-step.

“You did ask the wife whether she knew if there’d been infidelity, right?” Scully says. She looks incredulous at his blank expression. “You didn’t?”

“I didn’t have the opportunity to,” he says, rubbing his hand across his mouth. “To be honest, I got worried and came back fast.”

“Why?” she says sharply. “Why did you come back? Did you have some reason to think I might be in danger, too?”

Mulder feels like a caught schoolboy. “No,” he says quickly. “No. I came back because until we figure this out, I’m not sure this inn is safe for anyone. I’m just getting spooked, I guess.” He swallows. It was a weak save, but she doesn’t seem visibly perturbed. He studies her. “And everything’s been… as expected here?”

Scully takes a half second too long to answer. “Yes.”

There’s definitely something off in that answer, but he doesn’t dare press more. “What have you been doing?”

“I’ve been sitting here reading through your historical research,” she says. She points to some books stacked on the bedside table. “As well as the myth of Hero and Leander, and the famous poem about the myth by Christopher Marlowe.”

“‘Who ever loved, who loved not at first sight?’” Mulder quotes wearily.

“Right,” Scully says, picking up the poetry book with a sniff. “That line is silly. The poem is interesting. I wonder if Hero was familiar with it.”

“You don’t believe in love at first sight?”

“Oh, I might,” she says, flipping idly through the pages. “But I don’t think it’s the only way to love.”

“Yeah,” he says, “I think I agree with you about that.”

There is a tense, unbearable pause.

“So now we have deaths that may or may not be homicides, inflicted by a killer who may or may not be alive, targeting victims who may or may not be experiencing unrequited love,” Scully says, snapping the book shut suddenly.

Mulder walks over to examine the silhouette of the man above her dresser again. He reaches out his finger to trace the craggy outline of the man’s face over the glass. “Maybe Hero is drawn to longing of some kind, some kind of heartache. Maybe it doesn’t matter if the person is the subject or object of longing. Maybe it only matters if the person is in her proximity. Maybe it’s the wanting, the unresolved, that draws her.”

When he turns around, Scully looks prim and disapproving, crossing her arms.

“But what if—”

She’s interrupted by a knock on the door.

***

Scully, her arms still crossed tightly over her chest, purses her lips in dread at the closed door, making no move to get it.

“Scully?” Mulder prompts.

“Yes.”

She has absolutely no way to explain why she doesn’t want to answer the door, for the simple reason that she has no way to tell Mulder what she saw in the hallway before.

Not simply, not casually, anyway. It’s something she can’t easily explain with scientifically plausible language.

A figure that certainly appeared to look at her and beckon to her. There for five seconds, gone the next. A classic … ghost.

Admitting she had seen this—or that she thought she saw this, anyway, because even now she can’t rule out she was misled, deluded, mistaken—seems impossible just to say. Allowing these words to pass through her mouth is a Russian nesting doll of further implications.

Because what would telling Mulder she saw Hero communicate to him, exactly? What would she be tacitly admitting to? That she just deeply wants to see a dead woman because of her sister? That her subconscious hopes to be able to extend her reach beyond death?

That’s embarrassing enough, but then there is also what it could imply about her feelings, about a possible imbalance in emotional attachment towards her partner.

When he came rushing in like that, she thought he must have guessed. It’s the kind of thing he might do, with his frustratingly prescient mind. She thought he might have even guessed why she might see Hero, and rushed back to the Inn to save her from her embarrassing death by unrequited feelings.

But now she doesn’t think that’s the case. He’s not acting like he really knows anything is different. He’s just chaotic Mulder, who disappears one moment and shows up unexpectedly the next.

“Are you all right?” he says, staring at her with a quizzical expression.

“Sorry,” she says. “Yes, of course. Just tired.”

This is silly. You aren’t a jumpy teenager at a slumber party.

She forces herself to walk to the door and slowly opens it, steeling herself to see a woman standing there with an impossible lack of opacity, speaking nonsense to her about being her love. Instead, it’s Duncan and Banoy.

“Hey,” Duncan says, an expression of curious concern on his face. “We just wanted to check in. Banoy said Agent Mulder seemed to be experiencing some kind of emergency before?”

“Oh, yes— just a misunderstanding,” Mulder says quickly, walking to the door. “Everything’s fine now.”

“You’re sure?” Banoy looks him up and down suspiciously. “I almost called for an ambulance.”

“Yes,” Scully says. Her eyes move involuntarily to the space behind Banoy, darting up and down the hallway without thinking.

Duncan notices the direction of her gaze. “And you haven’t seen anything unusual, Agent Scully?” He raises an eyebrow. “Forgive the expression … but you look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

She’s keenly aware of Mulder’s eyes on her. “Do I?” Scully says with a tight smile. “I’m afraid I’m not much of a believer in ghosts.”

Of course she isn’t. Not only are they the usual phenomena beyond the reach of science, they fly in the face of her understanding of a loving and omnipotent God. Her God wouldn’t let souls be stranded, unhappily plaguing the living.

You know what you saw. And you know you should discuss it with Mulder.

“I see,” Duncan says. “Of course.”

“I’m sorry to worry you,” Mulder says.

“Well, I also wanted to mention that you’d asked about Gary and Pam, the couple that stayed here Halloween and said they saw Hero. I called Pam this afternoon, and she insisted they come up to see you. Said they’d drop by right after they get off work.”

“That should be soon,” adds Banoy. “They work at the ski lodge, and they said they’d be here before six.”

“Oh.” Mulder seems to perk up. “I’m very interested in speaking to them, actually. Maybe we should go downstairs and wait, Scully.”

She nods, twisting her mouth to mask her frustration. She wants to slow down, talk matters through with Mulder, find a way to broach the topic of ghosts in the hallway on her own terms.

“Let me grab a sweater,” she says instead.

***

Gary and Pam Kromkowski are both young, no older than twenty-five, both willowy and athletic. They stand in the lobby of the inn peeling off their coats, matching sky blue with the logo of a nearby ski lodge.

“We work at Frosty Ridge,” Pam explains to Scully, when she sees her eyeing the logos on the coats. “Gary’s an advanced ski instructor and I do the kids’ lessons.”

Gary flops onto one of the sofas with colored cushions in the lobby and rolls his head back. “Whew-ee. We’re pretty worn out—this is our busy season.”

“We appreciate you taking the time to come talk to us,” Scully says politely, glancing at Mulder, who is standing next to her, looking unhelpfully dazed.

“Oh, we had to,” Gary says earnestly. “After we found out you were looking into those people that died.”

“See, we could have died ourselves,” Pam says, plopping down next to Gary. “We were so close, weren’t we, babe? We said, we have to tell people what happened.”

Mulder looks like he is taking all that they’re saying extremely seriously. He scrambles to sit down across from the sofa and leans towards them, his forearms on his thighs. “Tell me what you mean.”

“The ghost,” says Gary, lowering his voice and looking around, like he thinks Hero might drift around the corner. He clasps Pam’s hand. “I had the idea it would be fun to spend Halloween here, see. We both like horror movies, so I thought… scary creepy old inn, right? Good place for a couple days away.”

“Perfect for Halloween,” Pam agrees.

“Okay,” Mulder says. He seems to be thinking something over. “And you two were … dating? Together?”

The couple looks at one another slyly. “Well, yes and no,” Pam says. “We were… uhhhh…” She giggles. “We were fucking around. But we hadn’t, like, had the talk, right?”

“Right,” Mulder says seriously, like he is considering and absorbing that concept. Scully wonders if Mulder has ever had “the talk” with a woman.

“So she goes downstairs to get our food,” Gary says, “and I am coming out of the shower, and holy shit, there’s a lady standing in our room. Not standing, floating. A ghost. Like, an actual ghost you can see through.”

“Hmm,” Mulder says, nodding. “What did the ghost do? Did she say anything?”

“She kinda stood there in her old-fashioned dress and she said… what was it, babe? ‘Come on, I love you,’ all that creepy shit,” Gary says. “Pam knows because she saw her, too, like five minutes later.”

“I saw her in the hallway,” Pam says. “I was bringing up our food, Chinese. And when I get upstairs to go in our room, what do I see?”

“Ghost,” Gary jumps in emphatically.

“A fucking ghost,” agrees Pam. “And yeah, I admit I was scared. We didn’t think this was real.”

Mulder nods again thoughtfully.

“So Pam came back into the room. And she was completely freaking out, and I was completely freaking out,” Gary says. He looks Pam in the eyes, speaking affectionately. “We had to calm each other down.”

“What had you heard about the ghost before this?” Scully says, trying to get to the point.

“Well, we knew she was the love ghost,” Pam says. “We knew you had to, like, have feelings to see her. Everyone knows that around here.”

Gary runs his finger down Pam’s cheek tenderly. “So it kind of spilled the beans, and we told one another how we felt that night, once and for all. Got it all out in the open.” He lowers his voice. “And I asked her to marry me.”

He leans forward and kisses Pam enthusiastically, practically shoving his tongue down her throat. It quickly devolves into somewhat uncomfortable intimacy, hands crawling aggressively over ski pants. Mulder clears his throat, and Scully averts her eyes. She wonders wistfully when she got cast in the role of maiden aunt.

“So,” Mulder says as they break apart at last, “do you have any idea why you weren’t killed like the others?”

“I think it’s because our love was pure,” Pam says, still gazing at Gary. “Because she could tell we’re soulmates.”

“Ah,” Mulder says with a barely-contained sarcastic edge. “That could be it.” Scully notes his jaw muscle is tense. “You never saw Hero again after that?

“Nope,” Gary says. “That was all. We got married a month later, and now we’re newlyweds.”

“Congratulations,” Scully says formally.

“We just wanted to tell you,” Pam says proudly. “In case our story was important. Other people might want to protect themselves.” She leans back towards Gary, tilting her head invitingly. “With the power of love.” He takes the bait and presses his lips to hers, sloppily kissing her again.

Scully holds herself back from rolling her eyes. “We appreciate your assistance,” she says loudly. “I’m sure you’re very tired—”

“Pam, before you saw the ghost,” Mulder interrupts as the couple pulls apart, “you experienced … some kind of longing for Gary? And you for Pam, Gary? Would you say that’s accurate?”

Pam smirks. “Longing, sure,” she says. “If that’s what you wanna call it.” She giggles a little again, running her hands up Gary’s chest.

“I’ve got something longing for you right here, babe,” Gary growls playfully in a low voice.

“Thank you for your time,” Scully says, very weary of this, walking towards the door. “We’re grateful for your help.”

Even if it’s no help at all, she thinks darkly. She isn’t sure these two even saw the ghost. Like Duncan, she is suspicious that this is a little too good of a proposal story.

Mulder has apparently been deep in thought, staring steadily across the room, and looks vaguely surprised to see that the Kromkowskis are leaving. “Oh yeah … thank you,” he says vaguely, still staring. “Happy holidays.”

He doesn’t stand to walk them out, flopping back instead in the chair he is sitting in. Scully feels another twinge of irritation as she leaves him to his sprawl.

***

It feels like he’s losing his mind. One second he is sitting here talking to the Kromkowskis, and the next moment, he spots her out of the corner of his eye. Staring at him, silently, across the room.

Hero doesn’t say a word this time or move a transparent muscle. She only stands tall and straight, her expression something between judgmental and sorrowful. Mulder can do nothing but let his attention be completely distracted. He can do nothing but stare back at her in shock.

The Kromkowskis don’t see her, and they are sitting where they would have, if she were visible to them. It seems clear their vulnerability to ghostly murder was cured by eliminating their longing. How lucky can you be, he thinks, to have the yearning of your heart satisfied like that. Do the Kromkowskis even understand their good fortune? What happened to them was something that was probably not possible in the other cases. It’s certainly not possible in his own.

Of course Scully doesn’t seem aware of Hero’s presence either, although she doesn’t ever turn that direction. Maybe the best he can hope for from any of this is that it’s only him who dies.

It’s funny, he thinks, that he started this case hoping that she wouldn’t quit, and now he’s just happy if she survives him.

As he slumps in his seat in despair, his gaze irrevocably held by the strange countenance of a dead woman, he begins to hear something. Or so he thinks. He listens hard. A hushed roar in the distance, rising and falling. He pays close attention, but he can’t decide if it’s really there or if it’s his own troubled imagination.

The Kromkowskis leave, and Scully walks back to him, her mouth pinched in annoyance. He sits up and forces himself to look at her.

“Do you hear something, Scully?” he says, trying to sound nonchalant.

She tilts her head and listens, scowling. “No,” she says. “What do you hear?”

When he glances anxiously back across the room again, Hero is gone. The rushing sound has vanished.

***

[leviackermanstoes]

The car ride -a Logan howlett fic.

-I tried using 'you' so I hope this works out

-

Logan was still grappling with his own issues when you came into his life. Cigar smoker, cagefighter, and part-time professor, he was juggling more than he was made for.

You first met Logan when you stumbled out of a bar and knocked into his caravan. He found you unconscious on the ground by the snow. He wasn't very empathetic usually, but watching your chest slowly rise and seeing your bruise, he knew he couldn't.

And that's how you ended up waking up blurry eyed in his warm caravan, disoriented and dizzy. Slowly, you turned your head to see the bearded, cat haired man.

"Who are you?" You asked frightened

Logan pulled his cigar out of his mouth. "Relax, I'm not gonna hurt ya, kid"

You looked around the caravan, eyeing the interior. "How did I get here?"

"I found you unconscious in the snow by my caravan" he said simply. "And before you say it, no I'm not a creep"

"You could be!" You exclaimed accusingly "You could have been taking me somewhere to torture me!"

Logan chuckled and puffed his cigar "think of it this way kid, if I wanted to kill you I would have done it before I put you in my car. I'm not gonna hurt ya alright?"

He looked at me with furrowed brows for a split second. "You hungry?" He asked

"Yeah, very" You admitted.

Logan poked the glove box with the dry end of his cigar "should be something in here"

You opened it to find a piece of paper, a hair tie and a crinkled bar of chocolate. You reached for it instantly.

"Maybe you're not so bad," you joked as You picked at the chocolate bar.

"Not exactly the most nutritious thing ever" he scoffed "but anything is better than starving"

He puffed his cigar again. You'd never been around them before, but surprisingly, you didn't hate the smell. In fact, it was oddly comforting.

You looked at Logan a few times with mindless thoughts. His beard, his dark hair, his rugged face, and always curved brows. He looked angry but you couldn't tell. He had this feeling about him where he was brooding and dark but not ominous and sinister looking.

He was rather gorgeous when you got a better look. Handsome. Dishevelled but not messy.

"So what's your name?" You asked between the chewing of chocolate pieces.

"Logan" he said simply.

"I'm ___" you replied to him.

"How old are you?" He asked

"23" you blinked at him.

Logan wasn't exactly the most talkative man ever. But the ride that took you to the bus stop was the most interesting trip you had ever been on. The casual puffs from his cigar, the cosiness of the blanket he'd given you and the regular conversation.

Small things like "So where are you from?" "What's your power like?" "You got a girlfriend?"

To that last question, you had never been so happy to hear a no.

-

Logan had driven you to the bus stop in a town not far from laughlin City. When the car stopped, you didn't want to move. Frozen, you turned to Logan with progressively glossing eyes.

"Hey, are you alright, kid?" He tilted his head. "Anyone coming to get you?"

How were you going to tell him, a stranger that you had just gone on an hour long trip with, that you infact did not have anywhere to go or anyone to get you, and that a part of you would miss him?

"Oh, uh, no, but I'll find my way." You tried to smile as you opened the door and hopped out. Closing it behind you, you tried not to sob as your lip trembled.

Why did you feel this way about a complete stranger? An older man, too. of all people, it had to be an older man.

Before you could step onto the snowy path, you heard footsteps approaching. Logan.

"If you don't have anywhere to go, let me take you somewhere at least, like an Inn or something" Logan crossed his arms, like if he did it meant I was less likely to deny his offer.

"I don't want to cause trouble -"

Logan scoffed at your words, "Goddamn teenagers and their worries. If It was any trouble I wouldn't have offered bub"

Bub.

He just called me bub.

Is this a joke? He's gotta be fucking with me.

"I think I'm gonna be okay, logan," you tried to grin, but your eyes were glossy, and tears were running slowly down your reddening cheeks.

Logan stepped closer toward you and put his large hand on your shoulder for comfort. In the bleak snowy weather, it provided some kind of warmth amongst the ice. The heat coming off of him was addictive and you wanted nothing more than to hug into his leather jacket and soak in the warmth.

"Hey," he said, "just let me take you somewhere, okay?"

You nodded "okay fine"

-

Sniffling, you could have turned it into a deep sob as you approached a warm looking Inn. Again, you turned your head toward him and it felt like you were staring down your childhood best friend for the last time.

You opened the door and stepped out of the car again. You had no belongings, so you weren't sure what you were going to do but you knew you'd figure it out.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Logan asked.

You felt like he already knew the answer and you could see the concern in his face.

"I'm gonna be fine I promise"

Here you were making promises to this man. A man you might never see again.

"I don't know how to say goodbye" you scoffed, feeling pathetic for admitting it.

Never one for feelings, Logans' inner thoughts wanted to laugh in your face and leave . But to you he couldn't be that person, he couldn't deny your feelings. His whole life he was never one for mushy gushy stuff or being sappy with anyone. But with you, he wanted to be.

For once he didn't want to be the grumpy Logan he was normally.

"Yeah kid, I don't know how either," he admitted to you.

Cautiously, you went in for a hug, and your action was duely reciprocated. He hugged you tightly, you had been expecting him to be more soft for some reason but you weren't complaining. He smelt like Woodfire and leather, god was it addicting to inhale.

Pulling away, you watched as Logan got into the car and shut the door. Though the window you could see his bearded face.

He rolled it down.

"Stay safe, kid, alright? Help is never too far away"

You weren't sure what he meant, but you were thankful anyway.

"Am I ever gonna see you again, Logan?" You pouted, which turnt into a frown.

Logan chuckled and smiled. "You know what? you just might bub. Goodbye, for now"

"Goodbye logan"

[naamahdarling]

My dad and I are planning to go to the Tulsa zoo for the first time in 20 years, what are your can't-miss zoo exhibits?

You're in for a treat, they've done a lot to make it a lot nicer than it was.

Right up front: You can rent wheelchairs or electric scooters now if you need one. It's $30 for a scooter which is more than I think it should be, but at least they're there. Bring some $1 and $5 bills and some quarters if you want to get souvenir coins or pressed pennies. Gift shop employees usually know where the machines are, there's multiple throughout the park but they move occasionally. (I collect these so I plan around them.)

The new elephant habitat just opened, a BADLY needed improvement, I was very uncomfortable with where their male was housed, he was showing stereotypic behavior. They knew it was an issue and instead of halfassing something they just made something totally new and apparently really amazing. I haven't been to see it yet, but we are going very soon. They're redoing a big part of that side to be a better savannah exhibit, actually, so the east side of the park is a bit sparse.

The rest under a cut. I love our zoo.

Definitely hit the Malayan tiger exhibit, which is close to the front and can be easily visited no matter what other parts of the park you want to see. The female just had babies and I think the daddy is still there too, so even if she isn't out, he might be. The tigers are very comfortable with people. Genuinely. They are often very close to the glass. I have seen them almost every time I have been. Also close to the entrance are the snow leopards, siamangs, and red pandas/binturongs. One siamang female had a baby early last year and they are both beautiful, I got to see the baby when she was VERY NEW. Such tiny hands! Perfect little thing!

The old old old string of four(?) connected buildings devoted to different habitats and stuff have undergone some light remodeling, but last I saw were still rather underwhelming and the exteriors are pretty decrepit now. They were blocked off last time I was there for some repairs and renovations so IDK what they have done or if they are open yet. Ask at the front if you intend to go through but I wouldn't necessarily plan on it unless it's significantly nostalgic for you. The Arctic building is open AFAIK and the zoo's brown bear is out front for the time being, and you don't have to go inside to see the outside of the enclosure. She REALLY likes hanging out near the window and scaring children by opening her mouth suddenly so you might see her.

Hit the Amazon rainforest. It's really nice, and the old lady jaguar auntie besties/girlfriends are there. Chel has been there since she was a baby and I had a really cool interaction with her when she was young so I feel personally attached. Not sure if you ever were there, but they have done a little work on it inside and it's even nicer than it was. There's a part with dart poison frogs! Just hopping around in the open!

The reptile and avian building way in back needs expanding, I think they are redoing it soon? Don't wear yourself out going there. There is however a quiet indoor area right near there for families with autistic kids who need a break and I think also nursing parents?

We are freshly down to one lion who I think is elderly and doesn't come out much, and that whole run of exhibits that used to have bear, lion, tiger, and snow leopard is sort of abandoned right now as they have plans to redo it all, so don't go that way. There are some animals there, I think a bear and one other critter? But it isn't the best use of time.

On the east or southeast, the meerkats are lively and curious and actively seem to enjoy coming over to look at humans. Penguin exhibit is good, and the sea lions. I have never seen the African painted dogs, their area has a lot of cover.

If you have limited time or just tire easily, USE THE TRAIN. Rides are not too expensive. Either take the train to the very back and walk out, or walk to the back and take the train out. Riding TO the back takes you east, it's a pretty ride past a lot of stuff you might want to skip on foot, riding FROM the back takes you west, past a lot of stuff worth seeing, so I recommend going from back to front. It's less tiring anyway. Once you're tired you're already headed out.

Museum gift shop staff are predominantly queer and in my experience they know a lot about what is going on in the zoo in general and probably that day. They might have local zoo honey available right now. Ask, and if they do, get some, it's incredible. The flowers there are abundant and lovely and the honey is incredibly flavorful in a layered way that single-crop honey isn't.

If you see a docent in a building, please talk to them. They LOVE their job and AFAIK are still all volunteers. They have their speeches they give to groups, yes, but if you catch them alone they have even more interesting stuff to share that isn't calibrated for people new to the basics and is more entertaining. The elderly white lady often near the tigers and Komodo dragons is just great. She loves those lizards so much.

If you are on SNAP, you get in I think free, and with a guest.

I have to say and want to acknowledge that the Tulsa Zoo used to be terrible. Jane Goodall shit-talked it, okay? Like, I won't repeat what she said because I don't think it was on record and if it wasn't intended for the public I don't want to put it out there, but it was savage, and painfully accurate. (My ex and I did some docent training there, until I had to drop out because I caught a cold. The Goodall story was relayed by the head primate zookeeper.)

But because they have been CONSTANTLY devising new exhibits and finishing very cool improvements I am comfortable supporting them even though parts of it do still need work.

There's a couple of very wealthy donors and organizations that contribute IMMENSELY to the zoo and to our museums and parks and libraries, and most of the big renovations were done with those grants. Those donors aren't going anywhere, they are genuinely behind the things they support, so it will just continue to get better, and patronage helps show donors and investors and the zoo itself that the work they have done is appreciated. The Tulsa Zoo's rejuvenation is a real success story and I am very proud of them.

It used to be so bad but now they have stuff like the Lost Kingdom with the tiger skybridge and the Komodo dragons and the beautiful architecture and landscaping, and you can see what they're consistently moving towards. More room, and more room back where you can't SEE it so the animals can chill away from people (if one of the newer enclosures look small, there is probably a lot of room in back). The bigger animals are never forced to be close to people. (For reptiles and other smaller critters this is not universal, but they are working on it.)

Anyway yeah it's not that big or flashy I guess but it's ours and I do love it and it keeps getting better.

I hope you have a great time! Let me know!

[lixxen]

Idk how well text posts do on Trolls Tumblr, but I have so many thoughts rn and want to talk about feral Branch details.

Feral Branch HC:

Branch has fur, claws on both his feet and hands, his ears move like a cat, and he can see better in the dark

"Feral Trolls" are gray trolls who have adapted from being away from others. Trolls have a built in instinct that recognizes strength in numbers. You see this with rainbow trolls being able to change their colors/auras, and all trolls being able to manipulate their hair. Gray trolls cannot change their aura, but they are around others so they can stay normal

But isolated gray trolls biologically change due to them not being around others. This happens over years, and not automatic. Once a troll changes like this, they cannot undo it. So this is why Branch cannot go back to "normal" physically, even tho he isn't gray and around others

(there's also a psychological/self actualization part. Gray trolls tend to see themselves as the problem and rainbow trolls end up more likely to becoming "feral" looking due to their ability to change their aspects.)

All genres have feral trolls, all presenting differently. Rock and pop are the most similar since they are the two physically closest looks wise

Normal trolls are omnivores, but eat more plants since their digestive systems and body needs focus more on plants. Feral trolls need more meat, but are still omnivorses

If I can get psychological, a lot of their "feral tendencies" are actually just trauma responses and bad socialization issues due to isolation. A lot of responses are stemmed from fear and anger, so lashing out/growling/swiping at others is normally out of fear or response. Plus having to survive in the wild, y'know?

Okay. Done with that part, let's get into Branch!

Branch likes to be in trees and high ground. It comes from living in a pod in the troll tree, but he lives in the bunker because it's safer. So you'll find him in trees normally because he likes being high

Branch normally hibernates during the winter, but ever since he met Poppy he stopped hibernating. This makes him horribly grumpy during the snow season

Not shown: Branch loving his ears to be scratched. Her more sensitive than normal and he loves them being pet. He also loves to lay on top of people. It comes from the need of warmth and him thinking that others need warmth.

He wouldn't lick others, since they don't have fur. But if he's around other feral trolls he'd definitely lick them.

His parents were both half rock and half pop trolls. They both looked like rainbow pop trolls, and the rock parent (dad) did not live in the troll tree. Grandma Rosiepuff was the maternal grandmother and a pop troll

The parents names were Briar and Melody

Branch has the need to burrow all the time. It comes from years in the bunker and from hiding from danger in the earlier years. You will see him burried in someone's bed probably.

Branch is really good at math and science once he starts learning and back into the village. It comes naturally to him. He wants to be a pod architect because it comes naturally to him

Clay and Bruce follow the same thing, where Clay really likes accounting and Bruce loves to run business.

Floyd is the best at performing, with JD behind him. JD though is actually really good at taking care of others and survival. Surprisingly JD can garden and keep a ton of plants alive to feed himself.

Branch and Clay are autistic with different levels of support needed. Branch needs less support while Clay needs more. Thought I'd mention this.

Clay and Viva were best friends before the Troll Tree attack. The others did not know this. Viva and JD are the ones that helped Clay learn better coping mechanisms when the band started to sour

Branch is more sensitive to sound and light. He hates fireworks and doesn't like to be touched unless he knows the person

Ablaze is the one who mainly is teaching Branch coping mechanisms for his PTSD. Poppy is his support throughout everything, but she doesn't know how to help someone heal.

Branch mandates Kismet group cuddles. This dude it touched starved and they’re the only ones he is comfortable like that other than Poppy

Even after Branch is able to speak again, as he was nonverbal when he met Poppy and by Trolls 2 he is speaking again, he prefers to be quiet and doesn't talk as much. It is simply preference at this point

Branch likes to interlock his tail with Poppy's when they're not touching, but close enough :)

I might do more later, but I am about to go into work :)

[aristocratic-otter]

Hi all! It's so lovely to see so many people motivated by the fresh feeling of a new year. Thank you for sharing your work with me, @artsyunderstudy, @nausikaaa, @monbons, @thewholelemon, @roomwithanopenfire,

@whatevertheweather, @bookish-bogwitch, @martsonmars, @bookishbroadwayandblind, and @prettygoododds.

One thing I learned from reading everyone's year-end retrospectives: if I want to be more involved, I need to stop being such a perfectionist! I could have been posting every week, but I'd be kicking myself over not having finished a piece of every single WIP...and so I wouldn't post. I'm gonna challenge myself to just post, even if I only wrote one thing the previous week. So that said, it was a vacation week for me, so along with posting my gift fic for @facewithoutheart, A Very Zombie Christmas, I did actually do work on a lot of my WIPs, and you can expect updates on at least two of them this week.

So, here we go. As always, I absolutely did not bother to count six sentences:

From my 2023 COTTA, Snow Fox:

It took some convincing to get Penny and Mitali out the window and up onto the roof. Well, more Mitali than Penny. Neither woman much liked the fact that their petticoats and whatever other underthings women wear would be clearly visible from underneath the whole time they were climbing. 

Penny accepted it as a necessity with a grumble and an embarrassed flush, but Mitali truly balked at the idea. Finally, Pen suggested that I lower a loop of rope rather than an end of rope, and the women could sit in the loop and be hauled up. That resolved the whole ridiculous issue, and we had both women out of the house and onto the roof in short order. 

From my COBB with @cutestkilla: The Rat and the River

I’ve always wanted to be part of one of Snow’s famous ‘lunch meetings’.  Penelope’s told me about them. Simon thinks better with food, so all  information is shared and ideas are circulated over meals in Simon’s team. I used to wish to be British myself so I could join his team and take part in these comfortable meetings of minds. I love food and I love talk, especially talk about disease. What could be more enticing than spending time over sandwiches with the famous Snow’s angels? 

Especially one particular angel. 

From Tiktok Dancer:

Penny, Shep, Agatha and I are all staring at him, jaws hanging loose in our surprise at his unexpected eloquence and passion. Baz just sips on his fruity cocktail and smiles back at us demurely.

I suddenly realize how little I know about this man I’ve fallen head over heels for. And not knowing makes me itch—I can’t stand it.

“What dream are you pursuing?”  I blurt. 

Baz looks at me steadily, and I can almost see him revising his first answer in his head.

From my Visitor Baz AU: 

Baz is dead.

Baz is dead. 

I can’t understand it. The idea that Baz, my terrible roommate, will never snark at me from his desk across the room from mine again…that he’ll never use up all the hot water with his endless showers or wear his uniform in such a way that makes it look designer while all the rest of us look boring. He’ll never suck down a rat in the catacombs or earn the highest score on a Magic Words exam. 

Baz is dead. 

From Saving Simon Snow (I’ve got to reread this one to get my mojo back on it, I think. But here’s six new shortish sentences):

In all our years of cohabitation, I’ve never seen Simon truly lose his temper with Bunce. With me, certainly. Hundreds of times. In the Catacombs, he was irritable and defiant. But now? The moment Bunce grabs hold of his arm, Simon goes off. 

 From CORB #1, Baby Mine with @argumentativeantitheticalg

His voice takes on that haughty, lecturing tone I used to hate so much. Or at least that I used to think that I hated. It made me want to slam him against the wall and get in his face. 

I think I maybe just wanted to get my face on his face. Why was I so fucking stupid?

I’m lost in rumination on my own failings when the rise in volume from the crib and the pointed clearing of Baz’s throat both bring me back.

From CORB #2: The Stoves Come On At Night, with @ebbpettier

I wake up.

For several seconds, I blink groggily into the early morning light. I try to catch at the wisps of the dream I was having, but they’re fading. 

I can’t have been asleep for more than a couple of hours. Like I’d planned, I’d slept a few hours last night and then got up at three a.m. Three hours later, after I’d finished a sketchy patrol, I headed back to bed as the first rays of the sun were just breaking over the horizon. 

It can’t be more than 8 am now. What on earth woke me up? Even if I can’t really remember it, I’d been having such a pleasant dream…

Suddenly, I realize that the annoying buzzing sound I hear is an alarm–the fire alarm!

Tags and howdies to: @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed, @fatalfangirl,

@melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist,  @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean,

@raenestee, @tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz,

@krisrix, @shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost, @mooncello,

@shrekgogurt, @cosmicalart,  @theearlgreymage, @iamamythologicalcreature, @ileadacharmedlife,

@thehoneyedhufflepuff, @facewithoutheart, @thewholelemon, @skeedelvee, @ivelovedhimthroughworse

@messofthejess, @best--dress, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii,  @hushed-chorus, 

@rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @cutestkilla, @letraspal, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe,

@wellbelesbian, @ic3-que3n, @emeryhall, @larkral, @youarenevertooold,

@j-nipper-95, @ebbpettier, and @argumentativeantitheticalg

[meepmorp1232]

Mike Wheeler and Milkvan from an Aroace Perspective

Hi! So this is something I've been thinking about for a while now and I wanted to see if anyone else thought of this. This post will focus on Mike's queercoding and his relationship with El (and a little bit of byler). No, I do not think Mike is aroace (but he could be on the spectrums, it's hard to tell).

I'm aroace, and if you don't know what that means, it is short for aromantic (aro) and asexual (ace). Aros experience little to no romantic attraction. Aces experience little to no sexual attraction. Basically, I don't get crushes or have any desire for intimacy (but it's a little more complicated than that, so I encourage you to do your own research). I understand that asexuality and aromanticism are very diverse spectrums. This is my personal interpretation and you do not have to agree with me (but please be nice, for I am but a humble byler). I'd love to hear your opinions!

Starting with s1, there was always something off for me about milkvan. Sure, Mike and El had moments, but they didn't really seem like anything other than platonic. I felt like there wasn't that much build up to their first kiss and it seemed like they just added that at the last second (and they kinda did). It felt rushed and they were literally just talking about being siblings. Then Mike invited her to the Snow Ball. And he didn't seem to show any romantic interest in El until Lucas brought it up.

In s2, Mike kinda forgot about El until she showed up in the end. I mean, he "called" her for, like, a year (and that was more survivor's guilt than anything), but he never went after her, even when he literally saw her. And as soon as Will was in trouble, he stopped calling. Then she comes back, and they have this whole reunion thing and Mike and El almost kiss. After that, we see Mike pining for Will at the Snow Ball. The milkvan kiss looked really genuine, though, definitely fooled me.

In s3, Mike focused all his energy on his relationship by making out with El constantly and ditching his friends. Then El dumps him and he had no idea what he did wrong. He doesn't seem very sad about it, though. Skipping the entire middle of the season, that last milkvan kiss. What the actual fuck was that?

"Oh shit, I'm gay." Like, there is a literal lightbulb above his head. I cannot make this shit up (this is honestly one of my favorite scenes just because of how fucking gay it is).

In s4, Mike's in a long-distance relationship with El, and he can't say "I love you" for some reason, can't even write it. When he gets to Cali, he's kinda off (and gay panicking about Will looking like a grown-ass man). He and El fight and basically break up. Then they reunite after El explodes a helicopter, and it's all very platonic. Then there's Mike's monologue. I'm not even gonna start with that, El deserves so much better than that bullshit.

Now onto the analysis. I've always related to Mike, and I had no idea why (maybe because of his various mental health issues and general obliviousness towards peoples' emotions). Then I found out that byler exists and was like, "oh! That explains so much!" I started looking at him and milkvan from a new perspective and it all made sense: most of the things Mike has done are things that I would have done before I found out that I was aroace (and if I didn't have anxiety), and that's one of the reasons i relate to him.

In s1, Mike didn't show any romantic interest in El because he didn't have any. When Lucas brought it up, Mike saw this as an opportunity to prove that he's straight, that he's normal. The kiss and Snow Ball invitation seemed rushed because they were rushed. But if I was in Mike's position, I would have pursued El romantically. If I was alone with her, I would have kissed her and invited her to the Snow Ball.

In s2, Mike treated her like a friend, because that's what he saw her as. I would have treated her like a friend because I would have seen her as a friend. He called her because he missed her as a friend (and also survivor's guilt), which is what I would do too. But he never made an effort to find her and assumed she was dead, which is what I would do. Then El comes back and Mike forces himself into a relationship with her by dancing with and kissing her at the Snow Ball, which is, again, what I would do.

In s3, Mike tries and fails to appear straight. He pours all his energy into his relationship. He makes out with El non-stop and ditches his friends for her, 'cause that's what straight people do, right? Then El dumps him, and he's like, "what the fuck? I was just being straight!" He doesn't seem very sad about losing El, just moping and blaming Max for sabotaging his heterosexuality. These are all things that I would do since I have no idea how alloromantic/allosexual (opposite of aromantic/asexual) relationships work. I would probably treat them like friendships, but with kissing. Skipping to the end, that kiss. Mike's internal monologue: "oh shit, I'm gay." I did that (minus the awkward kiss) when I figured out that I was aroace.

In s4, Mike's back to his s2 vibe, but now he know that he's gay. He's in a long-distance relationship, so it's easier to just pretend it doesn't exist. He can't say or write "I love you," because friends don't lie (further proving that he sees El as a friend). I would do these things too. When he gets to Cali, he's kinda off because he knows now that he can't make himself be straight (also gay panic, because the difference between s3 ad s4 Will is crazy). This is how I would act in his situation (minus the gay panic). They fight and basically break up, and reunite fairly platonically. Again, exactly what I would do. I do not want to talk about Mike's bullshit monologue, but I would say those things too.

In conclusion, on the miniscule chance that byler isn't endgame, I am almost 100% sure that Mike is queer and milkvan will break up. This relationship is not good for either of them. Just the facts!

This is the first analysis I've ever done, so tell me your thoughts on my interpretation and please be nice. Thanks for reading!