#and the one that doesnt mince just how HARD it all is. i say it a lot but hunger au is me gently waving at all my fellow folks in recovery

[definitelynotshouting]

Anon im gonna keep most of your message private to protect your own privacy, but i just wanted to say: i am really, incredibly glad that ive been able to do this for you, and i am so so happy that you feel recognized in my writing. More than that, im glad it makes you feel hopeful-- hope is so valuable, and so utterly hard to find sometimes, so i am incredibly grateful that my writing provides a bit for you. Im equally glad ive been able to talk about some of the aspects of mental illness that just never feel talked about, too, I hope you continue to see both yourself and that sense of hope as the fic goes on❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[laws-hat-headcanons]

Second commission for @beastofflevance featuring Sakazuki again!! I hope he isnt too ooc - since a lot of these word prompts are s/o relevant I didnt want them all to be like "no he is mean and doesnt like people >8(" so there are a few liberties I guess!! Anyway! Hope you like it!! 💙

Sakazuki - Blood, Snow, Ice, Silver, Heart, Hand, Flower, Gold, Glass, Bone

Blood: How did they react the first time their S/O got badly injured??

. At first he doesn't really know how to react.

. Sakazuki always thought that the thing he cared about most was the Marines and his absolute justice, but as he watches his partner fall to the ground, red already blooming across her chest, he's not so sure.

. But there are still enemies to fight, and Sakazuki will always do his duty – but maybe he dispatches his foes with more speed and ferocity than usual, a little more desperation than before.

. He is by her side as soon as he can be, directing the troops under his command to get the injured to the infirmary. Not specifying her, obviously, but if she happens to be the first one seen then that's his business.

. Sakazuki can't be by her side much during her recovery. He has so many responsibilities to see to but he makes sure he gets frequent updates on her progress from the head medic.

. He visits when he can, but it is infrequent. Partially because of his time constraints and partially because he feels this boiling feeling in his chest when he sees her lying there. He hates to see her in pain.

Snow: One thing they love about their partner?

. Sakazuki appreciates confidence.

. In his partners self, in her looks, in her kindness, in her mind, in her morals or her decisions and actions – it doesn't matter which.

. As long as she can show him conviction in some part of her life he will stand by her always.

. Physically he loves her eyes.

. There is something genuine about the looks she gives him that makes him need to look away or risk that hot feeling that she sometimes elicits from him. Sakazuki is not a man who blushes easily.

. He would never admit it, but he could lose hours staring into those eyes.

 

Ice: One thing they dislike about their partner?

. For someone to catch his interest in the first place they have to be something special, but Sakazuki is very picky.

. He will always find something about his S/O that bothers him, but it will be small.

. If he finds something big about them that he doesn't like he won't be with them for long. He's just not tolerant enough to stay in a relationship with someone who can bother him that badly.

. So for Sakazuki it's something small about her that bothers him.

. Something like biting her nails or kissing her teeth. Humming while he's doing paper work or running her fingers through his hair to distract him.

Silver: Do they keep their promises?

. Sakazuki considers himself a man of his word so he doesn't make promises he can't keep.

. If his partner wants something from him Sakazuki is always realistic with her. If her request clashes with a pre-existing commitment he will be straight up and decline it.

. But he is organized enough to plan ahead. If he knows there is an important date coming up for him and his partner he will keep it free so when she asks if they can do something he can say yes.

. Sakazuki won't say “I'll try.” He either can, or he can't and he doesn't see the point in mincing his words.

. So he doesn't make promises often, but the ones he does make he always keeps.

Heart: When did they first realise they were in love?

. Sakazuki might not be the most emotional person, but he knows his feelings, so it doesn't take long for him to realise that it's deeper than just attraction.

. It's probably a quiet moment between them that does it though.

. He's been working for hours, bent over a desk trying to sort through all the mission reports that have been submitted to him.

. He hasn't eaten or had a drink in hours, but he's too intent to stop now, ready to work through the night – so when she appears he's surprised, thinking she would have gone to bed hours ago.

. She brings a steaming pot of tea and a small plate of food that she puts on his desk, watching him as he stretches from his hunched position.

. And she rubs a hand across his shoulders, gives him a peck on the cheek and leaves him to get back to it. She doesn't ask him to stop and come to bed, she knows him better than that.

. Sakazuki feels content in that moment. He isn't used to having someone look after him like that. And he is surprised to realise how much it meant to him.

Hand: How do they show affection to the people they care about?

. Sakazuki has such a stern personality that it is very hard to pick up when he is being affectionate.

. He's very private so he doesn't really like to show too many feelings in front of other people, he keeps most of his affection for with his partner behind closed doors.

. But there are small things.

. When out with his partner he will place a hand on the small of her back, keeping her close. He will pull out her chair when they sit down for dinner, and makes sure she is served first.

. Sakazuki will always put her before himself. Will try to maintain a presence and ask her about her day. Will always try to spend time with her when he can.

. He doesn't believe in frivolous gifts and he will never buy her trinkets – he hates clutter – but if she shows an interest in something when they are out and about he will remember it for a later date.

Flower: How protective are they over their loved ones?

. Oh, so protective.

. Sakazuki can count on one hand the people he cares about – with digits to spare.

. His preferred method of protecting his special people is to keep them out of harms way in the first place.

. If he can keep his partner from the front lines then he will. He doesn't care if it hurts their feelings, he cares that they don't get injured.

. There aren't many people in the Marines that are dumb enough to threaten Sakazuki's S/O, so he doesn't have much to worry about on that front.

. But if someone outside the Navy were to become a problem Sakazuki wouldn't tolerate it for long.

. And his brand of retaliation will leave the other person drinking through a straw.

Gold: What was their first kiss with their S/O like?

. Sakazuki is the kind of man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it, in relationships and any other aspect of his life.

. So he isn't at all hesitant at the thought of kissing his S/O for the first time.

. Until he is face to face with them, looking into those beautiful eyes and that hot feeling is bubbling inside him again.

. Sakazuki moves in slowly, giving her the opportunity to pull away if she desires, but he feels her hands on his chest as she goes up on her tip toes to meet him.

. The kiss itself is short and sweet, lingering a little at the end.

. He feels a little hot under the collar with the warm feeling of her lips against his, but he doesn't let it show.

Glass: Are they open with their partner? Do they allow themselves to be vulnerable around them?

. Sakazuki doesn't talk about his feelings, even with this partner - unless it directly effects them.

. He is so private and he doesn't like involving other people in his life if he doesn't have to. He doesn't enjoy letting people in and he doesn't enjoy sharing how he's feeling either.

. His partner would have to be something very special or they would have to be together for a long time in order for him to open up about his emotions.

. Unfortunately Sakazuki is not in the habit of being vulnerable in any way, shape or form. It just.. is not something he is willing to do. He will never willingly make himself look less than the controlled and powerful person he has built himself up to be.

. If emotional intimacy is important to his partner they will find Sakazuki somewhat lacking.

Bone: How do their react if their S/O gets hurt because of them?

. Sakazuki is furious. He's furious that he is always so careful and meticulous about keeping his S/O safe, and then he is the one that injures them? Ridiculous.

. He has very good control over his moments, so Sakazuki knows he didn't hurt her badly. But he did hurt her and he hates that.

. That feeling of embarrassment and worry that mingles within him is not a feeling he enjoys, and he is angry at himself. Unfortunately it seems to translate that he is angry at her.

. He will tell her to get up, will brusquely check over her injury and treat her if it's required, all the while glowering.

. Sakazuki will berate her for not being more careful, that she is lucky that the wound was so minor – but really these are things he should be telling himself. He won't stick around for long, feeling foolish and guilty.

[yukisohmasmokesweed]

id be interested to hear your thoughts on the ayame-shigure-hatori friendship. particularly what u think hatori actually feels about them (as opposed to what he outwardly displays, if u think theres a difference), but mostly about shigure and ayame and how they feel towards hatori. i never really understood why they would consider him such a friend (ayame specially) or act so tryhard around him (i get they do that prob to annoy him) but anyway, just interested cause u always have good thoughts

ahahahahahahahah you calling ayame and shigure tryhards in front of hatori is SO funny and you are right. but i think shigure does it to annoy hatori and ayame does it for real lol, shigure doesnt give af what hatori thinks of him

i think that their friendship really and truly revolves around being forced together by the curse; hatori holds real contempt for shigure and ayame and bristles in multiple instances when they are referred to as his best friends. but because they are in a situation so specific and complicated and the fact that they were all born the same year is the glue that holds them together, plus all the trauma bonding lol. in general for the three of them, but hatori especially since he is the most repressed and self-hating out of the three, there is something really valuable in knowing everything about one another and being able to talk freely. 

acting like yourself and talking freely is the biggest thing for shigure—hatori is really the only person who knows everything about him, and shigure doesn’t mince his words around hatori, nor does he try to manipulate or influence him. he is unapologetically himself in front of hatori, showing him his good side as well as the worst parts of him, and knows that even if hatori does judge him, that he can’t judge him that hard since hatori knows that his own complacency is just as bad as shigure’s meddling. this goes both ways, too—hatori is extremely frank with shigure, and its at least partially because he has nothing to hide around shigure, and he doesn’t feel the need to save face/be The Responsible Adult like he is around akito or the teens. i think there is a lot of trust between shigure and hatori: that they will keep each other’s secrets, that they can and will call each other out on their behavior and that it won’t affect their friendship, that akito won’t come between them. hatori seems to resent being associated with shigure in particular, which i think has to do with hatori not finding shigure very respectable, but i don’t think he resents shigure himself, just the reputation that precedes him.

ayame and hatori is slightly more baffling to me. i understand why ayame looks up to hatori, since he’s everything ayame is not: he’s stoic, he’s conscientious, and he’s...well ayame says hatori is kind but i’m not sure it’s the first word i’d use to describe him lol. but from ayame’s point of view he aspires to be like hatori, which i think is reasonable especially when you consider how many mistakes ayame has made in the past of his own volition and how self-centered he is (which he is aware of). so ayame very much looks up to hatori in a very brotherly way. hatori, on the other hand....i don’t feel we have enough textual evidence for me to say anything more than it’s circumstantial. i wish we got to see more of these two because i’d be curious to know. my speculation about what hatori sees in ayame is that ayame is always himself all the time and i can see hatori valuing that quite a bit, since hatori is so reserved himself. i can see them complimenting one another in more causal social situations, or just the two of them together, since they are basically opposites and that can work out favorably. but i’m not sure hatori would have approached ayame if they weren’t bonded by the curse.

[faedawayyy]

A Useless Guide to the Carmichaels

DISCLAIMER: this is a bunch of headcanons that i’ve come up with. OBVIOUSLY since synn and katie and nadine and meg in a way have characters that are tied to their family...BUt these are my original headcanons for the family, so if things aren’t quite right or sound different, it’s bc they’re my most developed family and it’s the way i’ve written them in canon verse!

SYLVIA CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

sylvia’s family are russian and came over to england after the war. her father was a general and her mother was a seamstress and she was raised in a very, very conservative and upper-class family. she went and studied at st andrews in edinburgh and that’s where she met hank carmichael, who her  father always pushed her towards from the moment he knew of him.  sylvia carries a lot of her family values and clashed with her GEN X kids because their ideologies were so different. for example, she sturggled edwin’s sexuality and oliver’s more liberal mannerisms. it doesn’t stop her from trying to “guide” her grandchildren.

HANK CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

hank was born and raised in england. his father was an extremely wealthy banker, his mother died when he was young but he never really thought about her because his father never spoke of her. he was raised mainly by his aunt while his father worked around the clock. they were an extremely wealthy family and when he was old enough, hank attended boarding school. he never really had parental guidance and his creativity always ran wild. he was trouble at school, but smart enough not to get caught.  after he graduated from st andrews and moved in with sylvia, he invested his entire trust-fund into a book publishing business, which is still successful to this day. he’s a huge family man due to not having one when he was younger

second generation.

EDWIN CARMICHAEL

edwin is the oldest of sylvia’s and hank’s children and always worked hard to be a people pleaser. he was often referred to as the golden child and the absolute brightest star in his mother’s sky. from an early age, he showed interest in entertainment which hank inspired and supported.

things changed for edwin in the middle of high school when he decided to come out about his sexuality. he was severely bullied and his relationship with sylvia broke down. he STILL hasn’t got the best relationship with his mother, especially after he married his husband, but they stay civil for the rest of the family’s sake. 

he now works in property and lost his confidence in acting when he was bullied.

OLIVER CARMICHAEL

SYNN’S CHARACTER, BUT HERE IS HOW I INTERPRET HIM. oliver is the second oldest child of sylvia and hank. he was rebellious from the start. he never enjoyed trying to live up to edwin’s golden standard, he hated the events and the social climbing. he just wanted to be a regular kid and have regular experiences, but it never happened for him.  when he was 18, it hit him that he was an adult and sylvia and hank have 0 influence over him. he took his trustfund, travelled and got the hell out of violet springs. however, just like with everybody else, age caught him up and he ended up settling in london with a woman he met while backpacking in australia.  he likes his children knowing their family, so he reluctantly shows up to family events but you’d never catch either of them in violet springs if they didn’t have to be.

JAMES CARMICHAEL

james is the middle child and arguably the most successful of the carmichael’s. he was never the favourite and had a streak in him that caused him to clash with hank from a young age. he was a loveable rouge who grew into a loveable white-collard criminal. he was smarter than he let on and had endless ambition.  like edwin, he attended university but instead of picking a profession that hid away from his true ambition, he invested his entire trustfund into a studio in los angeles where he planned to make amazing films...it paid off. he married his wife (patricia) who he met when she worked as a set designer on one of his projects, but it wasn’t all happily ever after.  james played around with money a little too much and tried to take out his competition in shady ways. this led to things getting too much for him and he faked his death almost a year ago. all of his family beside mason believe him to be dead.

JOHNATHAN CARMICHAEL

completely synn’s character, the father of theo

SINEAD CARMICHAEL

sinead was the only girl of five children and completely used it to her advantage. she watched the way her brother’s and father knew how to dominate rooms, conversations and other people. she grew up with the mindset that she could have absolutely anything she wanted, as long as she worked (or cheated) hard enough for it.  sinead dropped out of school at 15 and almost gave her mother an hernia. she blew most of her trust fund on a sweet 16 and then a sweet 18, anything that was left went on her 21st. she’s a very “live in the moment” woman and cares little for consequences.  she actually ended up teaming up with james and starring in a few of his earliest projects before becoming an actress in her own right. she’s blacklisted by a lot of hollywood producers for her refusal to submit and listen to direction. she’s head strong and does what she likes. 

third generation.

RUBY ROSINI - ADOPTED DAUGHTER OF EDWIN.

when ruby was adopted by edwin, there was all round excitement from every single member of the family; a little, brown-eyed girl from italy arriving on their doorsteps. she was so different from the majority blue-eyed children who filled the family tree. the cousins all immediately became protective of her and loved getting to know who she was as a person. now they’re grown up, she’s viewed as a cousin and it’s easy to forget that she was ever adopted or came from anywhere else. 

THOMAS CARMICHAEL - SON OF OLIVER 

thomas is the oldest son of oliver and like his dad, he’s a bit of a free spirit but unlike his dad, he’s a lot more laidback and less likely to clash or argue with anyone. as far as carmichael’s go, he’s quite wholesome and kind and oliver will 100% say that it’s because he was raised away from the madness of their family.  however, growing up away from the others isn’t as good in his eyes as it is in his dad’s. he often feels boring and on the outside, he will always do his best to fit in with the other guys and is easily manipulated. as a child, he got into trouble so many times from listening to the shit brody and leo used to tell him to do. even to this day, he’s overly loyal and attached to them because he’s desperate to feel a real part of the family.

KATELYN CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF OLIVER

katelyn is the oldest of the third generation and oliver’s daughter. she’s blunt, witty and doesn’t mince her words. unlike most of the women in her family, she cares little for appearances or staying in certain social circles. she’s a drama teacher in a high school and enjoys living a normal life, but does dip into the funds of her family name every now and then to have a bit of fun.  she’s a blast at family parties and everybody is always excited to see what scandalous or stupid thing she’ll do next to annoy her grandmother. 

ANASTASIA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES 

the oldest of james’ children and undeniably the real favourite. she’s an overachiever and type of girl who was good at everything in school and still is; she’s athletic, artistic, academic, a good mother, an amazing business woman, she’s smart, she’s intuitive, she’s healthy and rarely loses in competitions with her siblings or anyone else for that matter.

anastasia has her daughter, darcy, and is engaged to ryder banks. there’s no love there but like her grandmother, she understands the importance of appearances. you’d have to be crazy if you thought she hasn’t had a string of affairs and STILL has them. however, she also has standards and is very selective over who she lets get close. 

darcy is her #1 priority and she’ll fight fiercely to make sure she always stays that way.

LEONARDO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

leo is james’ oldest son and again, like anastasia, kind of set the bar in the early days for the rest of his siblings. when it was the two of them and mason, everything was about leo and anastasia, they grew up in constant competition; leo tended to always fall short of his sister’s achievements. however, as they grew and the two of them came into their own, it was clear that leo was never going to be one to be in the shadows for too long - starting with gaining the attention from girls as he grew through high school. even girls in brody’s and miles’s year were heart-eyes over him and he was a few years older.  yet, just like with the rest of his siblings, he was promised and later engaged to somebody that his father handpicked for him to ensure the carmichael wealth wouldn’t dwindle out and fall into the wrong, new money hands.  OOC//i could write more but it doesnt feel right bc he’s now katie’s character. obviously i have my own ideas/fiancee for original leo! 

MASON CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

mason broke the trend of extroverted, go-getter type kids and ended up being the quietest and youngest of the bunch until miles was born. he was a big momma’s boy growing up, and even though he’s never really felt like the favourite, he always enjoyed the company of adults and quieter environments compared to his siblings who would thrive around kids of their own age.  mason is wise beyond his years and it’s a running joke that he was supposed to be born first. he is the only one that knows james isn’t dead and was trusted with this information because even though brody was the favourite by a longshot, james knew mason would keep it quiet and be less affected by the secret.  mason both hates and loves being a part of the carmichaels. he loves his family but also hates the madness that comes along with it.

BRODY CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES 

brody never really had to work to be the favourite of his parents - he just is. he had the right amount of intelligence, cockiness and charm to keep adults on side throughout his whole life. ironically, out of everybody in the third generation, he’s probably the biggest fuck up too but the adults turn a blind eye to it because it’s him.  a huge reason he’s favoured by james is because he was clearly enough for charles to allow him to marry his oldest daughter, disney. this was such a big deal for james because charles has a LOT of connections (shady and not shady) in the entertainment industry and he knew the merger between the companies would keep the carmichael legacy in tact for generations.  brody usually rises to being the favourite and is slightly smug about it, but he also cracks the most under pressure and has had dozens of meltdowns over the span of his life growing up.

MILES CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

miles is the youngest...son...of james. james has no idea that patricia had an affair and that miles isn’t actually his son. miles has always struggled severely with keeping up with his siblings. he developed common but crippling mental health issues in his pre-teen years such as depression and anxiety. it started with acting out and being a “problem child” but quickly developed in being too scared to leave the house. he locked himself away and wasted away his young years not really interacting with anyone outside of his immediate family. on top of that, he had he achievements of brody, mason, anastasia and leo to remind him of what a failure is...eventually he just stopped trying.  these days his siblings are supportive and aware of how he can get. his cynicism is literally his humour and he’s just taking one day at a time.

BELLA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES

bella was dubbed the next brody. all of her siblings adore her and so do her parents and grandparents. she’s the second child who can do absolutely no wrong in anybody’s eyes. bella was a young star and worked in hollywood making tv cameos long before she started school. she had two lives; her school and dance life, and her celebrity life. she grew up with more life experience than other kids and this made her painfully cunning. she knew exactly how to get people on side and had whoever she wanted wrapped around her little finger.  she and brody were hit hardest by james’s death. bella was all over the place and gained a little weight - something she wasn’t familiar with after being petite her whole life. she’s now just trying to stable herself again.

THEO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JOHNATHAN

SYNN’S CHARACTER

HERA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

hera is the middle child of sinead. she too is inteligent and calculated but she’s also the opposite of the james’s girls. hera has never worked a day in her life and has no intention to. she’s a socialite and just like her mother, does what she wants when she wants to. she lives off of mommy’s money (because her dad bailed on them and honestly, fuck him). hera also came out as bisexual at a christmas party because she knew it’d make sylvia uncomfortable. she’s a wind up and enjoys getting a rise out of people.

OPHELIA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

ophelia is old enough to remember the messy divorce of her parents and adopted her mother’s bad-ass and care free attitude towards it from that day on. she hates her dad for what he did to their family but doesn’t let it hold her back and when she turned 18, she took him to court to keep her name on the inheritance of his million dollar winery business...and won. she’s the trailblazer for her quieter and more introverted siblings. she’s someone who knows she’s gorgeous and uses her looks to her advantage. 

LUNA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

luna has always been shy and hid behind the bolder personalities of her sister’s. she used to feel boring because of it but has quickly accepted that’s who she is and she’s happy with it. as she becomes 26, she’s starting to feel extremely embarrassed and insecure about her lack of experience with anybody. yet, her father walking out makes her find it hard to connect with and trust people. she has high standards and no standards at the same time and is really lost in terms of her romantic relationships. HOWEVER, she is thriving in her career and mason has featured her as an actress in many projects. she currently attends rosewell and enjoys the french culture.

DAMUS CARMICHAEL-RUSH

damus is a pastiche of every criminal and calculated act a carmichael before him has committed. he actively seeks out trouble and due to not being able to find his “place” in the family, he seems to like to win the affections of his elders by getting involved in dodgy dealings that they’ve set up - particularly those of james and johnathan. damus gets a rush out of being in on his family’s darkest secrets but he also feels like a spare part - the one who gets put into dangerous scenarios because the others are too precious to do so.

third generation age order: - katelyn  - anastasia  - leo - thomas - ophelia   - mason  - brody - hera - luna   - ruby - miles   - bella  - damus 

fourth generation (work in progress): - darcy and wren, children of anastasia  - fleur and dixie, daughters of brody  - victoria and peter, children of mason  - jacob and harlow, son of theo

[xellychan040]

Are you doing that otp questions? If so, can you do SubScorp :eyes:

Like..........half of this is stuff i’ve more or less talked to with @noobsexbot

Also I’m sorry if this is slap dash and shoddy, it’s fuck o’clock in the morning for me fhdhshsd. It took me a minute to do this because I lost the meme questions and just plain forgot about it, RIP.

1) Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop? Normally neither, but occasionally Hanzo is onery and likes Kuai’s grumpy face.

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?  I would love to say both of them, but especially Hanzo, because I love horndog Hasashi.... however, I’d say they’re into experimenting and will occasionally do something rather adventurous, but in general will mostly fall asleep in each other’s bed, still wearing their day clothes.  

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time? The both of them like the closeness of bathing together, be it a quick shower in the SF barracks or a long bath in the springs or wide pools of their respective temples. It varies who’s into taking it into another level, but generally, Hanzo gets friskier more often.

4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on? That’s definitely Hanzo. Especially in his private rooms. The habit rubs off on Kuai, but even then, Kuai only relents to being mostly naked if he has Hanzo’s silk robe. 

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight? Neither. Hanzo broods and Kuai pretends to sleep or buries himself in reading, but they wont leave each other until they’ve at least reached somewhat of an understanding. Mostly, if they need time apart, then they’ll just say so without being petty and go and attend to chores and duties they’ve been putting off.

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep? Kuai. He likes Hanzo’s sleepy grumpy face.

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”? Ghghg, it’s kind of a tie? There was a lot of mincing their words and promising each other the moon and the stars before they even officially got together. Eventually, they just kinda wordlessly admit it. After the fact, Kuai definitely says I love you to break up a tiff before it escalates into a real argument tho.   

8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts? Kuai. He loves wearing Hanzo’s colors and elaborately woven tops. He likes sleeping bundled up in Hanzo’s freshly washed shirts.  

9) Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after? Both. They speak a lot of dreams and bygone wishes and future hopes. They also both have unsettling dreams of their pasts. Kuai regrets his cruel childhood, Hanzo laments of all the ways he’s failed those closest to him. They dont sing, but they do speak of poetry or the way promising students are advancing in their classes.  

10) Who is more likely to cheat at games (cards, board games, etc.)? Kuai. The Lin Kuei taught them how to count cards and beat the odds in most games of chance to better blend in should the occasion call for it. Hanzo hates how soft and pleasant Kuai’s poker face is. 

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship? HHHHHH. Kuai is...........both. He's both so flustered and pleased he landed such a sweet fiance. 

12) Who starts a food fight in the kitchen? Hanzo. Again, he likes Kuai’s grumpy face. Plus it’s a chance for some intimate clean up

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer? Egh. Neither. I guess Hanzo can hold a better tune. Kuai can probably play simple instruments. 

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops? So, Kuai is the hand holder. He just loves tangling their fingers together. He’ll pinch Hanzo’s ass tho, and cheeks, and biceps. Hanzo is more likely to grope Kuai tho. And will possessively wrap his arms around Kuai. The both do the belt loop thing.

15) Who likes writes the others name on their wrist? Kuai. Kuai would write his name on Hanzo’s palm, and Hanzo would reciprocate. Also, Kuai just likes doodling Hanzo’s name in various languages.

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed? Kuai. He’s a sloppy, slutty drunk if you can get him to drink that much. Very needy and cuddly. But, hes also loud in bed. Lost of shocked moans and gasps because he’s still not used to being touched without violence. 

17) Who is more protective? Both of them, but Hanzo’s protectiveness is more, like, obvious. 

18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping? Kuai. He pets Hanzo’s hair and murmurs bits and pieces of his wandering thoughts aloud.

19) Who drives and who has the window seat? Well. Hanzo is more likely to teleport them both from place to place. Kuai’s favorite seat is inside Hanzo’s arms, I suppose. 

20) Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed? Kuai will dip off to sleep if he’s comfortable and over stressed. He’s trying so hard to be a good Grandmaster sometimes he over frazzles himself and he passes out mid paperwork review. Hanzo will cart him off to bed and wrap around him for a few hours.

21) Who cuts the others hair? Neither, tbh. They occasionally help each other trim up their beards tho.

22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day? Does erotic poetry count? because both of them. The poetry kinda doubles as motivational and frisky. 

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry? Both of them. They both need the occasional reassurance that theyre okay now, things arent as they once were.  

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them? Slow dancing or just, moving in each other orbit’s is a thing both of them will initiate. Hanzo likes grabbing and manhandling Kuai, especially for kisses. 

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush? Kuai. His sense of humor is awful. mostly ice puns tho. Hanzo doesnt giggle or blush, just huffs and kisses Kuai’s self-satisfied grin away.

26) Who kissed first? Hanzo. They’d been teasing and dancing around each other for months. Finally, Hanzo took a chance and kissed away Kuai’s coy smile. 

27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark? Kuai. He cant cook. Hanzo is.................reluctantly doting. Hfhfhf. It’s just who he is.

28) Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them? They both do the poetry thing. They have a game of quoting poetry back and forth for each other.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires? Eh. It depends. They’re both idiots but neither one of them are into showboating all that much. I suppose Hanzo would do the stunt. Kuai would just cluck his tongue and ask if thats the example he wants to set for the students.

30) Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute? Kuai wears reading glasses. He’s so adorable and doddering looking in them. Hanzo will immediately drag Kuai away for some frisky shenanigans. 

[gg-astrology]

cap/ sag anon: oh no, sure the truth is harsh but I was thinking the exact same thing tbh! in my case, as things currently stand, I am also like fearful of falling in too deep and then when I leave (if I leave, not sure yet but it’s mostly certain for now) even if we do end up ‘together’ it’d be hard(?) or that i shouldn’t get my hopes up too much or fall too hard because I want to focus on my life goals as well and if it’s not really what I think it is then it will just become awkward. 1/2

like, I don’t want to end up losing a good friendship y’know? one side of me is being hopeful but the other is being realistic. I seriously would like to know what his actual intentions are bcs he has times where he’s easygoing (especially if it’s like not just the two of us, and we’re fooling around with our friends) but other times he’ll turn all awkward on me?? so yeah, idk. could be me misinterpreting his kindness for signs, but then he escalated from 10-100 in a flash which is why (2/8)

I got suspicious in the first place, y’know. At this point, I’m just thinking of waiting and see bcs I don’t want to like confront him and then if it turns out to be the case where he just sees me as a friend I’ll feel kinda embarrassed? and it will become awkward between the both of us because he’ll know I have feelings for him? it might also be me lacking affection for a long time having an effect on all of this and making me see things that are not there but. (3/8)

I am thinking that ultimately, am i to never confront him I’ll just either pretend nothing happened regarding that matter and move on with my life or before I go abroad again I’ll just leave a letter for him, idk. but considerig my fear of rejection I will probably leave it be as it is. (4/8)

tbh it’s like - y’know when your senses tell you they do like you that way but at the same time you don’t want to be too sure of it? like, I never really got that ‘ vibe’ with anyone before but tbh I also suck at flirting and that kind of stuff, so unless a person says it straight to my face, I will never be 100% sure of it. and he doesn’t act like the type to want to lead others on, it’s more like when you act a way because it’s how you are and others might misinterpret it? (5/8)

but that’s the thing like- even if I try to put all of those nice gestures aside and consider it’s just part of his nature, then how come that only with me he acts this much awkward? bcs I observe a lot and I noticed that, even amongst other girls - the few he speaks with bcs he’s hella introverted and if he speaks with one its usually the same ones that are from his country; and with those he’s all collected and stuff, and with me it USED to be like that but now he gets awkward. (6/8)

btw sorry for the long rant. my goal was to try to mince down the info as much as possible, but. like, you get my point here, right? like my rational side is just wondering ‘ okay but if before he was all calm and cool, and he doesn’t feel that way for you, then why does he get all awkward/shy or other times does favors for you that he wouldn’t before?’ ya feel? it might just be me but a person doesn’t go from casual talks to all of these like that as far as I’m concerned… (7/8)

again, sorry for the rant. but, as you can see this is indeed like you have mentioned, boggling my mind so far. (8/8)

Hey there 💕 Yeah I get what you mean, I hope you dont mind if I spill a lil bit more tea: 

This is neither realistic nor hopeful, this is all emotional. You’re trying to be practical about it yes, but you might want to re-evaluate that practicality doesn’t mean going to extremes (or feeling extremely inept like this), Practicality is function, executing well (being able to function properly). The reason you feel like you can’t move/restrained like this is because it’s emotional.

Take a step back and a deep breath, maybe get in touch with this part of you.  Once you can process that you’re driving yourself from one end to the other because emotions are supposed to be like that, you may have a better control over the situation and what you want to do.

Practicality sees reason, it sees truth and doesn’t doubt itself because it’s truthful. If you’re second guessing yourself, it’s because you don’t trust it. 

You know you’re not being realistic or logical, because if you were being fair to yourself you’d know that these are just your emotions (and it’s good to have them, to feel them you just have to acknowledge sometimes that they’re there and maybe get over a lil bit of fear over feeling something for another person/showing it outwards-- feelings are humane, feelings are supposed to happen. We’ll talk about your fear of expressing it outwards later.)

There’s emotional denial going on that’s making you want to look at the practical stuff (your future, expectations, things to do) but you have to process/understand your emotions. Let yourself feel. 

And that doesn’t mean ‘oh you should just be hopeful!’ no. What I mean is you have to acknowledge that this is how feeling things are supposed to be for you (right now) this is what it’s like to not have control and to just be (if it helps, this is how water signs are. So you could now know how they feel all the time as well) 

If you can acknowledge this, and ride the wave of feelings without trying to push it one way or the other --- you’ll stop your stress factor and over-thinking as well.

The main problem is that you’re over-stressing this, because it’s mis-categorized and thus you try to jam it into what you know (being practical vs having experience - earth/fire) You have to learn how to adapt and accept parts of you that are going to behave like water. When you can learn (at least a little bit) how to ‘ride a small wave’ --- you’ll know how to Not Stress and instinctively/intuitively act as well.

Do you see where I’m going? It’s mostly to do with over-taxing yourself because you’re not in touch with how you should approach it. Forcing it into earth/fire is only going to make water/air stress out. As long as you can kind of go ‘oh this is my emotions and i should let it work like water placements’ (even if you don’t have any) -- that’s really going to help!!! 

The first step is important. And it’s scary and uncomfortable (often frightening) but it’ll seriously help with everything.  

If you’re second-guessing yourself, that’s self-doubt. 

If you can’t acknowledge your emotions then you can’t be practical/fair to yourself. Knowing how to distinguish the two apart ease the tension in yourself as well.

If you have feelings for him then you have feelings for him. If you don’t then you don’t. Being able to distinguish these two apart and know within yourself how you feel-- at least be able to acknowledge it to yourself (not half-assed, but whole-heartedly).

It brings clarity to the situation. Also it’ll help you stop yourself from over-complicating things. If you need some support, I’d definitely recommend you talk to a Gemini (preferably a Gemini Venus) whom you trust about it. Make sure it’s face to face (so someone you know) so that you don’t have a chance to hide away or try to skirt around the truth to yourself either.

[osmw1]

Head Over Heels from the Scarf I Lent Her  Chapter 5—The Warm Sun, and Lunch

“So? What happened afterwards?” “What are you on about all of a sudden?”

Ōyodo Jun—my classmate who sits in front of me—leans his arm on the back of his chair and turns to me. It isn’t unusual for Jun to start rambling about something incomprehensible, but it sounds awfully as if he’s talking about Satsuki. She’s a total lifesaver for cleaning Tooru’s room. Jun lets out a dirty smirk and looks at Tooru.

“Something had to had happened, right? She’s totally fallen for you.” “What, do you think I’ve got the balls to do anything to a girl as cute as her?” “… you’re being serious. Well, I guess not.”

For some reason, Jun dejectedly pouts as he shifts his arm from the seatback to Tooru’s desk.

“What a letdown, man. You gotta get better stories to tell.” “Why do I have to make sacrifices just to amuse you?” “That’s the way how things work. Hurry up and get a girl.” “Ow, cut it out.”

Tooru pushes Jun away, who was smacking him on his head, and then places his elbows on his desk too.

“First of all, you don’t have a girlfriend either. You better check yourself first.” “Gah! Straight through the heart! You don’t mince words, do you?”

Ignoring his exaggerated reaction, Tooru instead overhears the conversation of another group.

“Didja hear about Miyamoto Amane’s little sister?” “Yeah, dude. They she’s a total babe, unlike Amane. Go hit her up.” “You crazy? I’m not about to poke the bear, thank you very much.”

Already famous on the second day of school, eh? Well, she was well-known to begin with anyway, so no surprise there. Seems like everyone is so scared of Amane that no one is willing to get close to Satsuki. That was Tooru’s plan too, but somehow things ended up this way.

Luckily, Amane is another class so Tooru hasn’t got mixed up in her business at all. Unlike Satsuki, there’s not much noteworthy about how Amane looks, save for her chest. She’s probably number one in school in that aspect. It’s a mystery what she thinks about her younger sister, but Tooru isn’t about to march up to her and ask. And why does Satsuki look so down as well? It’s gotta have something to do with her family, but she didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about it. As he’s just her acquaintance, Tooru can only remain an outsider—whether for her sake or his own. Seems like Jun has overheard the other group too. Still sitting backwards on his chair, he faces Tooru.

“Must be tough then.” “It’s not too bad. We’re gonna be going home separately.” “Huh? You two are planning to meet every day?” “Ah…”

Tooru had dug his own grave and Jun has a shit-eating grin on his face.

“You’ve finally showed your true colors.” “It’s not like I’ve done any—” “Shut up! And treat me to something with your paycheck!” “What?! Why do I have to?!”

Tooru dodges Jun’s attacks and then sits back, spacing out. Satsuki’s face pops into his mind. They’re friends or something or other now, right? She’s not alone anymore like that winter day, right? His daydreams are cut short by the bell.

  Tooru always eats lunch at the same place—a sunny spot behind the school. It’s his daily routine to sit on the concrete outside of an unused classroom on the first floor. And of course, if it’s raining or snowing, he’d eat lunch inside instead.

But today, the warm spring air lulls the sandman. To have lunch while basking in the sun was Tooru’s thing and this is his place. Or was. He spots a familiar figure and waves.

“Hey, Miyamoto. Fancy meeting you here.” “Wha—?!”

Satsuki was sitting there about to open her lunch box. Her face is bright red like she was taken by complete surprise. After making sure not a single other soul was around, Tooru sits down next to Satsuki, leaving but a little room between them. On the other hand, perhaps still surprised, her face was still flushed red.

Sitting side by side again, Satsuki is small. She’s probably not even 160 cm tall. On the other hand, Tooru passed the 180 cm mark already. Sure, the average height of high schoolers is going higher and higher, but Tooru himself didn’t even think he’d grow this much.

That’s why it was natural for him to be able to look at what she has for lunch. Wieners cut into the shape of octopuses, omelette, and veggie stir-fry with a small portion of white rice. You could even say that this is the traditional Japanese packed lunch. On the other hand, Tooru’s lunch was fried chicken from the freezer section and rice. He had just had an earful from Jun, saying how he’s soon going to get fat. So, Tooru retaliated with a punch.

“Your lunch sure looks good.” “Oh, you think so?” “I’ve only got some previously-frozen chicken and rice. Probably isn’t doing my body any good.” “That’s true…”

Though he would’ve preferred her saying otherwise, Tooru relaxed after seeing Satsuki strain a laugh. He’s not sure what to make of it, but Satsuki suddenly waving her hands around.

“Umm, I would still like you even if you get a little chubbier too, though!” “Et tu, Satsuki?”

Tooru was at a loss as he opened his lunch box. Is that my future? I’m destined to be overweight? But even then, he’s busy in the morning getting ready for school and busy at night studying. He just wants to keep his grades up is all.

Still, how scary it would be to get fat before graduating. Like, actually. Not wanting him to feel down, the seemingly flustered Satsuki gives him a little fist pump.

“It’s okay. If you’re worried about it, then I’ll help you out!”

Satsuki bursts out with absolute energy. He had been hanging his head down but looks up at the girl so full of enthusiasm and responds like a burnt-out boxer.

“Support? What kind of support?” “How about making you both lunch and dinner?!” “Huh?!”

Of course, he was shocked. Not only is Satsuki bound to be busy in the morning, but wouldn’t she be like his mom packing him a lunch? He hesitates to put such a burden on her.

“No way I can do that to you…” “It would not be a big deal. If anything, it’s hard to cook just one portion, you know?”

He could only nod back. It doesn’t seem like she’s even half-joking. Tooru isn’t familiar with cooking enough to have a sense for that, but it sounds plausible.

And this would be good for his health too. Tooru could avoid the whole getting fat thing. However, he couldn’t just ask for this favor all of a sudden; it’s a lot more time and effort. Isn’t there something he could think of? Satsuki looks up at the thinking Tooru. Her youthfulness really felt like as if she were his younger sister. He’s seriously contemplating ideas, but still almost reached out to pat her head.

Needless to say, though, Tooru had neither the guts nor the feelings for her. He shakes the thought off and keeps thinking. And then, an idea, though a trivial one.

“In that case, I’ll pay you for each lunch.” “But, you’re…” “You’ll be using your own ingredients, right? It’d only be right for me to pay for my share.”

Satsuki looked like she wanted to say something, but she lets out a small breath and nods with a smile.

“Okay then, if you’re fine with that.” “Alright, it’s a plan. Thank you, Madam Miyamoto, for saving me from obesity.” “You’re exaggerating… and call me like you normally do.”

Satsuki waves her hand as if she were a little embarrassed, making him want to protect her even more. Even if she might be feeling down from her home situation, it doesn’t seem like it’s such a big deal to her.

“Anyway, shall we eat? Lunchtime is almost over.” “You’re right. I salute you, frozen food. You have served me well.” “Frozen food sure is handy.”

Tooru responds with a quipping laugh as Satsuki teases him. And then, once again, he looks at her lunch. It looked good the first time he looked, and it still looks good now. He’d love to try a bite. Seeing through him, Satsuki grabs a piece of omelette with her chopsticks and looks up at him. Her hair flows to the other shoulder.

“Want some? A taste-test.” “Uhh, you sure?” “Of course. Consider it research to see what you like.”

Oh, thank you so much. Even Tooru was doubting whether his chicken was enough for lunch.

“Oh, you don’t have to feed me it… it’s a little embarrassing.” “Oh, really?” “Aren’t you…? Anyway, you can just put it in my container and I’ll eat it myself.”

Satsuki’s face turns bright red again after hearing what he said. Then, she silently puts the egg on top of his food. So, it wasn’t on purpose yesterday after all. Tooru then looks down at the omelette.

It looks well-made and smells slightly sweet. There’s no way it won’t taste good. He opens his mouth and stuff his cheeks with the omelette. Tooru looks over to his side to find Satsuki with a nervous look on her face.

His eyes open wide.

Delicious. It’s perfectly seasoned with both salt and sugar. There’s even slight undertones of broth to it. Tooru has never had an omelette this tasty before. It’s even better than his mother’s.

“Miyamoto, this is amazing.”

He tells her with his mouth full of food and Satsuki chastises him for being improper. The tension had been completely cut and she relaxes her shoulders.

“Thank you. I’m so glad you like it.”

Her smile is as dazzling as always. Tooru didn’t think she could smile this brightly at first, but now he knows better. Swallowing his food revealed a light aftertaste of sweetness and broth. She’s even accounted for aftertaste.

“I’ve got great hopes for tomorrow’s lunch now.” “Look forward to it, okay?”

Their time together was soft and comfortable, if over too soon.

contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /next/

(please support me on Patreon or Paypal)

[baconpal]

so heres the long super paper mario post

strap in for why super paper mario is fucking bizarre and why that’s pretty much awesome

gonna be a good amounts of spoilers, so if you’re on desktop then hit that read more, and if your on mobile, then here’s your punishment for using this god awful app

super paper mario is a game that is incredibly difficult to put into words, but it leaves such a powerful, lasting impression on me and i can’t come to say anything first other than I love it so much, and if you havent played the game, please just go do it now, even if you have to pirate or emulate or something, just let yourself play this game. It’s one of those games that I really feel I can just recommend to anybody

it’s difficult to think of where to start with dissecting this thing so i’ll just start with the art since lookin at things is pretty easy

ART/WORLD DESIGN

every world in SPM is completely unique, not just in what type of environment, but it’s art style, and this is premised with the fact that none of these worlds are capable of existing together and are completely separate, and NOT part of a cohesive universe (LOOKIN AT YOU ODYSSEY I STILL THINK YOU LOOK STUPID)

The hub and the first 2 worlds are mostly just slight variants on the same general style of simplistic shapes and colors, with world 1 delving into more linework type aesthetics, and 2 focusing more on impressions and silhouettes, 

world 3 changes this completely with what is obviously an 8 bit kind of style, but instead of jarring over sized pixels, the world is composed of detailed tiles arranged to look like pixel art that imply a more real world, and not a gamey one, 

world 4 focuses on patterns and big patches of color to give the impression of the vast emptiness of both space and the surface of a barren planet, before giving you the “Whoa Zone”, with a striking mix of wire frame and futuristic UI style to it

world 5 takes the idea of nature being crude and simplistic and humanity being sharp, angular, and extreme and flips that on its head, with humanity and the space they occupy being these absolute memes with no sense of depth, and the plant life existing in a system of clean cut caves with futuristic technology and elegant historic values

world 6 simplifies a kind of colored Japanese painting aesthetic, down to the funny cylindrical cloud clusters and brushstroke trees

world 7 depicts what is essentially hell (yes there’s hell in this game keep your pants on) as a squarish blur of bright greens and warm reds and purples, and depicts heaven as fluffy land of clouds and Greek temples

and lastly, world 8 is inverted greyscale, where light is black and darkness is white, its simplistic and striking and i couldn’t think of a better style for the final area of a game so focused on the concept of light and dark

MUSIC

I’ll just try and keep it simple, the musics fucking cash money

The game makes great use of motifs when it needs to, where specific themes and instruments are used in other songs to suggest relationships and put battles and travels into perspective

And when it ISNT doing that, it’s just fucking funky stuff, with a weird trend of BOING and PLOP and SPLISH noises in the percussion because fuck you i guess

There’s a lot of good songs that do lots of interesting things, any of the like 5 final battle songs are great things to point to, but i’ll just go ahead and say the main theme of world 8 “Castle Bleck” is one of my favorites that isn’t super highly rated. It brings in the types of instruments that have been associated with the villain the entire game, but also throws in 2 very important things; a sudden triumphant burst of almost JRPG styled chiptune that pushes away the constantly building tension, which is then followed by the sound of a clock ticking, which is a musical motif only present in the songs “Memory” and “Promise” which is played whenever the memories of the player’s little guide thing and the main villain’s past lives together are alluded to. This one song holds a lot of weight, as well as simply being a fucking cool song.

GAMEPLAY

This is, sadly, the one place I’ll not mince any words and say the gameplay is not amazing by any standard, it’s pretty much a classic mario game if it had RPG stats, items, and random abilities granted through the character and partner systems. The 3D flipping mechanic is nothing astounding, though it is very interesting to see how worlds are constructed

One of the biggest flaws people will mark the game for in its gameplay is that it’s tedious, and while I have to agree, that’s because I’ve already played the game before, and the tedium only comes from not being completely invested in the experience anymore. I’ll get some specific examples in a bit, but there’s a few cases of “tedium” that i believe are 100% intentional and drive the story in an interesting way

STORY/WRITING/GAME DESIGN

Thats a fuckin broad section, but its pretty much everything else i have to say on the game, and where the most spoilers and random praise is gonna be

I’m not actually gonna talk about the whole story, more just the strong parts of it, under the assumption you’ve already played it or understand a story as simple as “villain wants to destroy world, hero wants that to not happen”

The writing and characters are just flawless, everyone is fun to be around, especially the bad guys, who you see more antics of than your own party. There’s goofy running plotlines about O’chunks and mimi essentially getting grounded and being forced to write essays about why they fucked up at beating mario, and big stinky brother dimentio teasting and bullying them and sneaking them out to do his bidding when The big Count Bleck is away

The game is full of referential humor to not just mario itself but all kinds of games, there’s skeletons in hell who are clearly just Marios from the mainline games who died in stupid ways, there’s an actual dragon quest turn based boss battle in hell too, and chapter 3 has an otaku villain who tried to get with peach in a simulated visual novel

but the humor exists not just in references, but in simple good scenarios, with things like “Having a game show in a bathroom when everyone's life is at stake” and “locating an ancient manuscript to use as toilet paper” or “flying through black holes to find a convenience store” and things of that nature

It also interacts with the players emotions in many interesting ways, one of the more lauded being chapter 2-3, where mario is forced into working off a massive debt of fictional money, and is required to do hard, boring labor. There isn’t anyway to avoid doing both the hitting a block 100 times and the running on a treadmill for a few minutes thing, but the constant feeling of “there has to be a faster way to do this” drives the player to prod around, find the secrets, and slowly discover how to break the system wide open and get to the end, and i love it for that

This entire game is some sort of bait and switch, to put it simply, while it’s already a bit of a departure from both mario itself and the paper series, the first 5 worlds are pretty fucking tame stuff, other than the void, which is a giant black and purple spot that sits in the sky, always, every single world has the void growing in its sky, and it does grow, every chapter it gets bigger and bigger and takes up the sky, but where this truly culminates into the “switch” part is chapter 6, which starts itself by presenting you with the most TEDIUS sounding chapter possible, fight 100 enemies in a row, and nothing else, and for 25 straight fights, that is all it is, so you’ve locked yourself into it at this point, you know whats up, but the void in the background begins to grow to the point of being the entire fucking background, and every enemy you face speaks as if they know they’re all going to die, and by the 30th fight, one of the villains comes to stall for time as the void completely swallows the world, and the party is sent back to the hub. When they decide to go back in to world 6, its empty, the entire world is a white void with a single black line making up the ground, and colorless destroyed structures occasionally peaking out of the ground.

and you walk on this white void for so long and you just feel nothing but regret and fear and no matter how fast you make yourself go you feel like you’ll never find anything, but you do eventually get your plot item and escape

then, Dimentio, one of the villains you’ve seen the least of, appears in the hub world, the safest place in the universe, and kills mario

he just fucking kills him

he puts mario in a box and fills the box with explosions and mario fucking dies and goes to hell because fuck you mario

then you go through all of chapter 7 just to escape hell (called the Underwhere cus how could we possibly be allowed to take hell seriously) and join up with your full party before confronting the final world, which i’ve already stated i just love the design off

the game just takes the comfortable ride you’re on and throws it into the fucking sun and burns you alive and i love it so much, even the very end of the game doesnt let up, where the main villain is overtaken by that absolute madman Dimentio (Whose name is a play on both Dimension and dementia), who clearly was powerful enough to have done the whole “ending of the world” himself, but did it this way for the theatrics of it

there’s a lot i could still say about the game, but this post is absolute rambling and its 2 in the morning but as usual, i just wanted to shit my thoughts onto the internet to people could maybe learn somethin about either the game or me and how i think and look at and respond to stuff, and as always, anybody who read this whole thing is cool and i love you a whole heck of a lot

[anja-mittags]

things i'd be very here for hearing: robert and lukasz headcanons (and how kuba affects their relationship).

BROOOOI dont know how to make little bullet points on mobile or else i would but here we go!! (I cant promise itll be coherent. Insomnia is speaking for me.)Lukasz is always on Kuba's side. He is and always will be but maybe he thinks Kuba needs to tone down the us v them mentality when it comes to Robert and maybe he should accept that Nawałka sees a better figurehead in Lewa than in him.There is no separating Kuba from what happened. Lukasz can't compartmentalize when it comes to that but he has a bizarre view from the inside. Kuba doesn't talk to him for two days when he suggests the change might do some good. If Robert could prove to do well under the pressure of captaincy then, how could they fault the experiment before getting the result.Łukasz isn't competitive. He likes contributing to an argument. He likes witnessing an accord, but he doesn't think of himself as competitive. He can prove he's good without having to hang up stats around his neck. He thinks it might be the luck of a defenseman. If he makes an error, it's clear cut to see. If Robert or Kuba make one, there are variables stacked on more variables. A hesitation, an ill timed pass, and shot off the wrong part of your foot. It gets stuck in their heads. Lukasz is lucky in some ways.The thing is, Łukasz isn't blinded by expectation or regret any more than any other team player. Sure, qualifying has been getting tougher and they have all the right parts but havent quite found their way to greatness. The thing is, Lukasz never felt the need of a band against his arm to tell him what to do and what to feel. He is very, very lucky.So he sees how hard Lewy tries to fit some impossible mold the people want in a leader, in a captain. He sees the same struggle Kuba grappled with and keeps his distance because surely, someone else could be /his/ Łukasz or something. (Eventually someone would step in and tell him he is not failing every time they arrive by the skin of their teeth to a victory right?)They don't.Mostly because Robert is stubborn as hell (He is amused by it and not afraid of calling his stupidity out.) There is an advantage to not being his close friend. His teammate first, a friend TBA. Kuba....does not know how to react.(If youve been around these parts before you know my headcanon til my dying day is Robert had a crush on Łukasz during his Dortmund days but never reeeally acted on it) Robert probably gets sweaty palms all the time but especially when Łukasz tries to compliment him without sounding too much like praise. Kuba doesn't get angry so much as mopes in his own head because he's losing this whole captaincy battle that only exists between these two idiots. Łukasz gets uncomfortably awkward when Grosicki doesn't mince words and says "you really have a type when it comes to this" He is still not sure if he meant the helping get their heads out of their asses or well.Also, the UST in the locker room is SO real. It's not even a betting matter anymore it's just the long suffering looks of why do we have to deal with this every internation break. Why has god forsaken us to this fate. Please let them get their shit together, amen.(The whole religious thing plays another huge role but psh. Im not talking about that where was I?)Lewy is half in that stage of trying to impress a girl with your cool moves but also really, really trying not to fuck up with the team and the dynamic and the Euro actually helps them get to a level of understanding and somehow that makes it worse because wow we can actually work together and its beautiful and awesome.Then Łukasz probably spends time reassuring Kuba that he's still important and still the heart of the damn team. Robert for once doesnt put his foot in his mouth and stands up for Kuba when the reporters descend.HONESTY IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY. (Kuba has a sidequest of stop being so goddamn fake Lewy!! To which he responds, im just trying to be good enough~manly bro feels)They make out or hug it out whichever you prefer. The end!

[iykbethany]

Do you know that the Nigerian Super Eagles jersey was voted the best Jersey  at this years world cup being hosted by Russia?

Since then the super eagles players are busy going all over the place slaying with thier new kit. It seems this jersey is more important to them than the games proper. Dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with slaying in the new jerseys, but this team doesnt look serious to me but hey what do I know.

Infact I believe that the super eagles are in Russia for fashion parade. So guys don’t expect too much from this team. It’s not like I can’t support my own, its just that I’m a realist and I like to say things the way they are without mincing words.

It looks like our team was banking on juju to do well at this competition. Because few days ago the Russian government forbade Nigerian spporters club and fans from bringing live chickens to matches.

The Nigerian supporters club applied to bring in live chickens to the stadium bc according to them it will bring good luck to the super eagles, can you imagine.  Nigerian suporters club usually dye chickens in our national colors as a good luck symbol. Which of the countries that won the world cup does this senseles act? Maybe the chickens will be the ones to score goals for us abi?

Trust the Russians, they rejected that senseless request. And this is not the first time this kind of stupid request was being rejected. It also happened at the World cup that South Africa hosted, Nigerian fans were turned away from Ellis Park in Johannesburg, South Africa in 2010 after their demand to take chickens, painted in the nation’s colours into the stadium was refused.

So na juju we wan use carry world cup? No wonder Nigeria is in a mess bc everyone believes in senseless and stupid things. Vote in good leaders una nor go gree, Una go collect bribe of 2k naira, vote in wrong people and start praying to God to change the leaders. God wont come down from heaven to change a bad leader to good one, it has never happened in any country before.

All The teams that will do well in this world cup tournament are the best prepared teams from Europe and North America. Quote me anywhere. Germany, Brazil etc will go far not bc of stupid juju, not bc of prayer and fasting, but because they are serious, they started preparing for this world cup years ago, they have serious leaders, they have world class players, they have world class coaches, they have world class traninng facilities in their countries and their government gives them every support they need.

We have some of the most powerful jujumen in the world. And Nigeria also parades some of the richest pastors in the world, the most popular and most powerful prophets in the world, the highest number of pastors and prayer warriors in the world, the largest concentration of churches in the world, yet nothing to show for it. Pray and fast from now till 20 years time, we cannot go far in anything until we stop being stupid and foolish. Why am I worrying myself sef, common sense is not common in Nigeria.

The game is going to start in few hours time and I wish the Nigerian Super Eagles the best of luck. They will need to work hard to be able to qualify from our tough group. May God help us.

NB: I dont wish them bad at all, infact I want us to do well that is why I am concerned and voicing out my anger.

How Far Can The Super Eagles Go At This Years World Cup Tournament? Do you know that the Nigerian Super Eagles jersey was voted the best Jersey  at this years world cup being hosted by Russia?