#and the number of people who only want women (never 'no girls allowed') or they're all 22+ professionals

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Absolute hell on earth trying to find a flat/flatshare from across a fucking sea

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[velvetvexations]

Okay, so like.

Someone can say they're not saying transmascs have it easier, but you are actually still saying that even if the way you're actually phrasing it is "transfems have it harder."

The thought-terminating cliché that AFAB people are allowed more room to navigate the way they express themselves in a gendered way is bobolynery. People who spread this to make themselves feel like even more a righteous victim are annoying and piss me off. That goes without saying. But the argument that AMAB kids will have less chances to explore options is equally ridiculous, because even if it may be true that in some areas and contexts women are allowed to wear pants, that is not and has never been a major component of egg cracking to begin with.

You can't simultaneously argue that this is not a gendered act yet also somehow something that helps an AFAB person identify with masculinity. Like, countless millions of women wear pants every day without being transmasc. If it's truly NBD, how does that work? How, might one imagine, are transmasc eggs cracked by wearing pants if they're surrounded by women doing the same thing every moment of their lives?

If anything, by this logic, it should be harder for transmasc eggs to crack! If the line keeping AMAB people from being women is so thick, wanting to paint your nails is an instant signal you might prefer identifying as a woman, whereas a short haircut is not that in any place where you propose the line keeping women from masculine presentation is thin.

But the idea that trans women would even need something like that is absurd. It is also, I suspect, tied into those chugging the radfem juice who call sissy kink (trans)misogynyistic for treating being a woman as degrading. Like, an absolutely massive number of people with a sissy kink are in fact actual trans women, because they grew up understanding that they wanted to be women but non-consensual degrading situations being their primary outlet for that.

I'm not saying it isn't great things are different now. Of course it's a beautiful, wonderful sign of progress that "haha cartoon where boy forced to wear lipstick" is no longer the only thing trans girls have to turn to. The point, however, is that an AMAB child understanding their desire to be seen as a girl has always been extremely common. I do not have the data to suggest it's overwhelmingly the majority, but it is certainly not rare compared to the amount of transmascs who have that same understanding of themselves. Even many transitioning for the first time as adults report having always known.

Maybe there are simply more transmascs than transfems because there just are? Have you considered that? That maybe there are just more transmascs than transfems and it's not because transmascs get the red carpet rolled out for them?

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Honestly watching western goyische leftists veer sharply into blatant, violent antisemitism ostensibly due to Palestine inspires a very specific type of rage in me that can only be triggered by ideologically-driven hypocrisy.

It's like watching the anti-abortion people also oppose comprehensive sex education and birth control while lamenting at how many abortions are currently happening. Every single person with more than one functioning brain cell knows that the only way to reduce abortions (not stop them, because that's literally impossible) is to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies - something for which there are mountains of evidence demonstrating that comprehensive sex education and birth control can accomplish. But they don't want those things, because they allow childbearing capable people reproductive autonomy and freedom. So they DARVO and move goalposts and in general try to pretend it's about protecting babies when it's literally just about controlling women, girls, and people they're misgendering as such. Because if they truly cared, if they were genuine in their beliefs, they would support whatever method was most effective at reducing unwanted pregnancies and therefore abortions.

The antisemitic "pro-Palestine" leftists do the exact same thing by ramping up antisemitism in the diaspora, despite the fact that the main driving force behind Zionism is a desire for Jewish safety. If you make the entire world unsafe for Jews except Israel, and you also want to dissolve Israel, where does that leave Jews? And I get that a lot of people just straight up do not care, genuinely want us dead, but here's the thing: people who are backed into a corner are going to fight for their lives. That is what Israel has done for the last 75 years. They have nowhere else to go, and the more antisemitic you make the diaspora, the more Jews will congregate there out of necessity.

If you don't address the root cause in a humane way, you are never going to make headway and you're literally just spraying water on a grease fire.

[willixmsonswife]

blind date/leah williamson

*leah williamson x fem!reader *what happens if you are on a blind date and stood up by the person you were supposed to meet but a beautiful blonde comes to you rescue? *fluff ig? *1.3k words (1.7k with the bonus) .................................

My first blind date. I don't think I've ever been this nervous. Why did Beth even set me up? I didn't need it. I mean, yeah, I'm not dating anyone at the moment and I'm not good at flirting but did she have to make it that obvious and set me up with someone? I never met that girl and Beth didn't even want to tell me her name. How was I supposed to know who she was?

I sighed before I turned around on my bed, almost falling out of it. My hand reached for my phone, which was laying on the nightstand. In my stress, I dialed the first number that came to my mind. "Hello?" I almost threw my phone across the room. That was not my best friend. "Hello? Is someone there?" I had to answer now, right? "Hi. Eh it's y/n. We met like 2 weeks ago, on that event. I was there with Beth and Viv." I mentally facepalmed myself for calling HER out of all people. The women I've had a crush on for a year now, captain of the Lionesses, Leah Williamson. "Oh yeah y/n, I remember. What's up?" Was that my mind making things up or did her tone change when I said my name? It was probably nothing. "Actually I wanted to call Beth. I must've dialed the wrong number sorry for disturbing you." I was about to hang up when I heard her say something. "No no, don't worry you didn't disturb me at all. I was pretty bored actually."

"Oh, okay." My response was followed by an awkward silence. "So what are you up to this evening?" Should I tell her about the blind date? Would she even be bothered to know about it? "I'm actually going on a date."

"Oh you're dating someone? I didn't know that."

"Surprised? Don't you think that people ask me out?" I chuckled as Leah searched for a plausible answer.

"Eh- I- No, I do. It's just-"

"Don't worry, it's just a stupid blind date Beth set me up for. Apparently I'm not capable of finding the 'true love' myself." That made Leah laugh and I couldn't help but join in. Her laugh was really infectious, I had to admit that. "Where does your mysterious date take you, if I'm allowed to know?"

"We're going to the new restaurant in town."

"Oh the Italian one? I only heard good things about it but you'll have to tell me if they're true once you come back."

"I will do that. Alright, I'm gonna have to hang up now. I have to get ready if I wanna be there at 9."

"Well have fun then. It was nice talking to you, maybe we could meet up in the near future?"

"Yeah I would love that. I'll let you know when I'm free. Bye Leah."

"Bye y/n."

That definitely went better than expected but now I really had to get going. I stood up and walked over to my closet. I picked a nice navy blue dress that I hadn't worn in a while and matching high heels. my makeup was done 20 minutes later and my hair only took 15. With enough time to spare, I decided to drive to the restaurant and wait for her there.

.................................

"Hi, I have a reservation at 9 under the name y/l/n."

"Ah yes. Please follow me."

I followed the nice women to our table and sat down. "Would you like to order something to drink while you wait?"

"Yes, just a water please."

And with that she left. I looked around the restaurant and tried to calm my nerves by concentrating on the decoration, the color of the walls, literally anything. I fidgeted with the rings on my fingers while I watched the door carefully as if I could miss her walking in. The waitress came back with my water but I just took one sip before placing it in front of me. The minutes passing felt like hours and I got more and more nervous. Multiple people walked in but they all sat at different tables. Every time I heard the door open, I looked up and hoped that it would be her but it never was. After a while, I looked on my phone and saw that it was already 9:45 pm. She wasn't coming. I felt the entire hope just disappearing with that realization. I got ditched by a person I didn't even know. I did my hair and makeup for nothing. I was excited and stressed for absolutely no reason. Disappointed by how the evening turned out, I leaned down to pick up my purse. That was when I heard a voice. "Sorry that I'm so late. The traffic was awful." I looked up to see the bluest eyes I had ever seen. Wait, I knew those eyes. And that blonde hair. And that voice. "Leah? What the hell are you doing here?" For a second I completely forgot my crush on her and stared at her like she was some alien from outer space. "I'm here to save your night."

"Elaborate please." I leaned back in my chair while she sat down on the one in front of me. "Well your date didn't come, did she?" I shook my head and another wave of disappointment hit me. "Definitely her loss. But anyway, I'm here now. I can't just let you sit at this table, all alone, that would be mean."

"You know when you said 'near future', I thought you meant next week or something but not tonight." She chuckled and I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I wasn't planning this either trust me. But let's see where the night brings us, shall we?"

"Alright, fine with me."

.................................

The evening was simply amazing. Leah and I talked about everything and I felt like I was on cloud nine. The food was delicious and the three hours we spent together felt like 10 minutes. She offered to pay but I didn't accept. Instead I paid for both of our meals. As we made our way out of the restaurant, our hands brushed against each other and little fireworks erupted in my whole body. We walked side by side in a comfortable silence until we reached my car. "So this is it, right?" I turned around and looked straight in Leah's eyes. Big mistake. I could feel my cheeks turning crimson red and Leah trying to hide her cheeky smile was just a confirmation that I was blushing. "I guess so." She took a deep breath. "y/n, I really really liked talking to you and all of this felt so, so-" She searched for the perfect word but I already knew it. "Natural?"

"Exactly. That's why I would love to take you out sometime in the near future. And this time I mean next week and not tomorrow night." A big smile made its way onto my face. "I would love that."

"But how about I make it up to you."

"Make what up to me?"

"You paid, so obviously I'm going to give you something back."

"Leah I really don't want your money, I-"

"Oh don't worry, I wasn't talking about money."

Before I could say something, she leaned towards me and my brain just turned off. I felt her soft lips on mine and I instantly knew that it was going to be favorite feeling of all time. I kissed her back and arms made their way around her neck. We only parted when air became a problem but my arms stayed exactly where they were. As soon as we locked eyes and I couldn't help but notice the sparkle in hers. "That was way better than any amount of money."

"I hope so cause I was planning on doing it again." We both smiled at each other and I was sure that this evening couldn't have been any better.

.................................

Bonus:

"Leah are you sure that they're gonna like me?" I anxiously looked at her and she took my hands in hers. "Princess, they're going to like you just as much as I do. I have no idea how they couldn't." She squeezed my hands reassuringly and I felt a part of the nervousness leaving my body. "Alright if you say so. Then let's go." I put a smile on my face and followed Leah into the locker room. She knocked and several women answered. "Come in!" She turned to me one last time and I just nodded, not sure if I could form actual words right now. She opened the door and we stepped inside. "Hi girls, I already told you that I wanted you to meet someone very special to me. This is y/n. My girlfriend." As soon as those words left her mouth I could feel every pair of eyes on me. "Hi, it's so nice to finally meet you." Beth walked to me and engulfed me into a big hug. "Finally! I thought you'd never show yourself here, god." I laughed and hugged her back. After that, I answered a lot of questions from everyone in the room. I also got into a nice conversation with Jen and Katie. We even agreed to meet each other for lunch the next week. All of the stress that I felt before this meeting was totally unnecessary. Everyone was incredibly welcoming and they were all so nice to talk to!

After an hour or so, Leah and I left. We still had to drive home, make dinner and watch the movie she promised me earlier that day. I intertwined our fingers as we walked to the car and started talking about her teammates nonstop until we got to her car. "You were so right, I shouldn't have worried about this. Your teammates are way nicer than you're always saying."

"Oh just wait until you get to know them a bit better. You're gonna be pranked by Katie, Lia is going to spam you with messages and-"

"I absolutely don't care. I love them."

"Well I only hope that you don't love them more than me." She grinned and I couldn't help but tease her a little bit. "Ah I don't know about that. Let's see, shall we?" I got a playful slap on my shoulder in response. "I'm joking babe. I'll always love you more, more than anyone actually."

"I love you too darling."

.................................

this is my first fic on tumblr so I'd be happy about some opinions :) also, i'm taking requests if you have some

[olderthannetfic]

I don't even think this is the type of thing you would normally get Asks about, but at this point I genuinely can't think of anyone better to come to and ask for their opinion.

I don't know if any of your followers have seen this situation as it's been occurring, but this massively popular mobile game that's been blowing up recently (called Love and Deep Space) has incurred a lot of drama and discourse as of a few days ago.

So LADS is an otome game, with a visibly femme/female protagonist who romances the male love interests. And a few days ago, the dev team behind LADS introduced this rule to all of their official groups and servers like Facebook and Discord: "Absolutely no BL materials are allowed to be posted or discussed in official spaces"

So, naturally, quite a few people are upset about what is basically a "no gays allowed" rule being forced onto the fandom. Because the "no BL" rules includes the posting of ANY queer content with "official" #LADS tags. Which for platforms like Twitter is absolutely unreasonable. They're stating that fanart of M/M ships can't be posted with any tags for the source material? It's ridiculous.

There's been people trying to defend it, saying things like "oh it's because of CN censorship laws" despite the fact that LADS isn't a CN game and the company isn't a CN company. Or "they only banned queer stuff in their official Discord and official Facebook group and for the official LADS tags on socmed!" even though that is still censorship and erasure of queer content (and somehow the fact that it's officially sanctioned makes it okay?)

But the worst part is the fact that there’s been an EXPLOSION of aggressive homophobia within the fanbase. It's as if all the cishet women who play the game were just waiting for their chance to go mask off, because the second those "no BL" rules were put in place the rampant harrassment and bullying started. People are getting attacked for M/M ship fanart, people are getting attacked for having male self-inserts or male MC or OC designs, and several artists have already been harrassed into deleting all of their artwork and leaving the fandom.

There's now a LOUD number of fans screeching that otome games "are only for girls" and that anyone even slightly queer or masc-leaning "doesn't belong in otome fandoms" and "needs to go play something else"

I've seen baseless accusations that "men want to force us to play as a gay male MC!" and "gay men are demanding that LADS turn the female MC male!" when absolutely no one anywhere has ever said anything close to that.

I have tried telling these fans that queer people, including queer men, have ALWAYS played otome games, that gay men and queer people have ALWAYS been a part of the otome community from the very beginning, but anyone who deviates even slightly from the new majority of "no gay shit allowed, otome is for straight women only and everyone else kys" gets immediately shouted down and harrassed/attacked. I know a lot of people have deleted the game and have stopped playing because of both the official "no gays" rule and also the extremely toxic and homophobic fanbase.

I was wondering if you knew about any resources (blogs, articles, anything) talking about the history of queer people playing otome/dating sim games, or even if you happen to know anything anecdotal about it yourself. Because we've ALWAYS been here, otome games have never been JUST for cishet women. I'm also just wondering what your/your followers' thoughts are about this whole mess in general.

--

Oof. I don't play many games of that sort, so I don't know a ton about their history, but there has often been pointless beef between the more self inserty types and the more m/m shipping types.

I don't think you need evidence that people besides cishet women consume media X. It should be self-evident from being a human who lives in the world. These people are denying it because they don't want it to be true, not because they do or don't have evidence.

"LOL, you're a homophobe in 2024? Criiiinge!" is the only appropriate type of response to these idiots. Facts won't help.

[lettucedloophole]

Okay, so like, when people say "AMAB people are male socialized growing up," they're saying that generally speaking AMAB people are sorted into the Boy category and have Boy expectations placed upon them. Sometimes individuals may feel that they were socialized the opposite way instead for any number of reasons, and some feel they got a mix of both, or some other thing. Either way, "male socialization" and "female socialization" - the expectation to be a Boy and a Girl - is still a thing that exists. When I was not allowed to play with girl's toys as a kid, that was male socialization. It sucked! It wasn't good! It didn't make me a boy or program me to be a rapist like TERFs say it did, but it's a thing that happened, and that happened to others.

You bring up not classifying things by intent. I would personally argue, just speaking for myself, that's the more important thing for describing these phenomena, but even if we are focusing on what was absorbed, many trans wo/men grow up do end up repressing these parts of themselves and only rediscover them later, or are aware it sucks but tries to find space for themselves in the Boy category. That's still a significant segment of the transfem population that went through the same process the OP was describing where Boyism was internalized. And no one, other than TERFs, is saying that if a trans woman did internalize Boyism, that makes her evil, because my side of this discourse does not generally believe that Boy=Evil in the first place. Trans men can openly talk about many of them forced themselves to act like women because of the extreme demands placed upon them to do so because "woman" is not seen as The Oppressor, whereas if I'm like "I wanted to play with Barbies as a kid but I wasn't allowed to so I got real into the brands I had access to" I'm apparently sucking up to TERFs.

Again, not everyone experiences socialization the same way, individual experiences are important and you may feel you never once went through anything like that, but "male socialization" is a phrase for when that does happen, although also again, I personally prefer to use the socialization label for the expectations themselves more, and that's much more expansive.

i get what you're saying about socialization, the issue isn't that what you mean by male socialization hasn't been explained enough, it's an issue of if that's the most appropriate way to describe that process. regardless of the intent of some people, what i believe is a minority, i think when most people say trans women are male socialized they mean it in the terfy way, including trans people. i understand that one guy was trying to not seem that way, but still furthered a narrow view of trans women's upbringings. perhaps his posts would've been better if he left out the part that implied trans women as a whole don't experience female socialization pretransition (and had he not... kinda just flipped out on katra). most of what i was expressing was a disagreement on how the conversation was taking place, though i touched on my own skepticism of this amab=male socialization classification in my questions

i don't think you're sucking up to terfs, but i do think it was weird that you defended that guy and misrepresented what katra was saying and act like transmisogyny is not a prevalent issue in tme trans ppl. like in this ask where you say only terfs believe these things, respectfully i do not believe that is true...

i agree though that transfems who internalized that Boyism and tried to live within it, didn't know they were transfem or whatever til much later on are valid. you could describe me as a female-socialized transmasc nb who didn't have any early experience of transness or gnc-ity, so i'm not coming for anyone based on that.

as for what i think on socialization specifically, i'm unsure of the usefulness of your definition of male socialization when most people disagree with what socialization means, and i'm not reallyy convinced that there's an objective definition of male or female socialization historically you can fall back on to say how other people define it (like katra) is wrong. i think changing the name of male socialization as you define it to amab socialization would provide a bit of clarity for people who misinterpret the term and solve some of the issues people (fairly) have with it. more than that though, i wish my smart mutual had not deleted her post where she talked about their issues with gendered socialization being described in such binary terms because i think this conversation opened me up to the pitfalls of relying on binaries to discuss complex social processes. it lacks specificity and different people internalize different things, so it may be worth considering that male/female socialization are not as useful as terms as something like gendered socialization, patriarchal socialization, and cisnormative socialization, for example.

one conundrum that has also made me think this is that when a trans woman does something like sexual harrassment that's associated with being male, it's described as being because of male socialization (not by you but other ppl). but if a cis woman does the same, what is it then? she's still not considered "male socialized" but she was socialized under patriarchy (& often has other privileges but this isn't about that) like that trans woman, which was likely a factor in that behaviour. that's to say... i think talking about socialization as binary like this can fail to account for how gendered socialization can manifest in different ways. the cis woman was socialized to accept sexual harassment rather than distribute it, but (apart from her other privileges) she internalized gender in an unexpected manner.

another reason is that, it seems to me that people don't talk about other groups quite the same way. i haven't seen as many discussions of black or white socialization as i have racial socialization. i wonder if other fields have maybe already found out the pitfalls of binary specificity, or perhaps the difficulty is specific to gender.

[rappaccini]

been thinking on how peter's had a lot of love interests over the years, but only six of them most consistently stick around and impact his character. and how the big six model works for other spider-love stories too because it's a good round number that allows for love interest variety and a strong romantic character arc without overcrowding.

so peter's big six are as follows:

liz allan: the one-sided superficial first crush on a rich girl with more social capital that ultimately goes nowhere

betty brant: the first girlfriend who is working-class with whom he eventually returns to being just friends, who ends up with his friend

gwen stacy: the first love, who's his intellectual equal in the classroom and of a steady upper-middle-class (law-enforcement) background he aspires to, who dislikes his alter ego, who he can't be honest to, who dies

mj watson: the true love, who's his equal socially, who isn't the steadiest career-wise and had a hard upbringing, who knows and accepts his alter ego, who he ends up with

felicia hardy: the problematic situationship with a vigilante who isn't a good influence on him, who only cares about the alter ego

cindy moon*: the forced spidermarriage with another spider-person the universe insists he's the 'soulmate' of

[*YES, cindy hasn't been shipped with peter since the mess that was her introduction and it'll hopefully stay that way. but she makes the cut because she's a very memorable character with a very distinct dynamic with peter that's being replicated already-- particularly with miles and gwen: "look, male and female spider-people! let's force them to kiss and call them soulmates!"]

if you line them up, there's a narrative that starts to emerge.

they tend to appear in pairs with a class juxtaposition. in high school, peter is strongly driven by a desire for status and money, and his family's financial situation is precarious: he's choosing between rich (liz) or poor (betty). by going to college, he's settled on being middle-class, so while he's there he has to decide between upper-middle-class stability (gwen) or lower-middle-class authenticity and freedom (mj).

[to note: people didn't used to hate love triangles. that's why they're prominent here. and marvel used to let peter grow up, so he actually can have his love interests spread out.]

and once he's postgrad and his financial situation is kind of set, he's tempted by being a hero. felicia and cindy are contrasted with mj, not each other: does he want to use his powers selfishly and be more of an anti-hero (felicia)? does he want to lean into the mystical spiderverse that thinks he's the chosen one (cindy)?

(we know he's going to circle back to mj. aka, he's going to ultimately choose his humanity instead of his spider-powers.)

demographically, they're all white women and one asian woman (... who he has a hypersexual fling with that's immediately demonized, rejected and treated like it was never serious😬). so uh. peter's that kind of guy.

he prefers civilian girlfriends. makes sense given that he has dead gf trauma he doesn't want to repeat that might make watching her get into a fight be a bit too much. he wants his girlfriend away from the fight, somewhere safe, and he views his vigilantism as something he needs to do alone. [also, marvel used to do civilian love interests.]

the progression seems tied to peter’s age: two high school love interests, two college love interests, two postgrad post-divorce get-my-groove-back-fling love interests.

his overall romantic arc seems to be about peter finding someone who can love both sides of him and ground him, and intersects with the class issues his character constantly contends with. he's tempted by wealth and status, and then by stability and approval, or by the special perks of being a superhero, but ultimately he's a family man who wants something grounded and sincere with someone who has her own interests to pursue, the same way he does. ending up with mj goes hand-in-hand with peter figuring out his principles and embracing that he's an underdog.

at any rate, these characters are far from the only girls peter's had tension, relationships or hookups with, but these are the ones who have the most memorable personalities and the most distinct dynamics with him that have lasting impact on his stories.

tied to their staying power, the first five are also the ones who are adapted the most: if you're writing a peter-spider-man story, you're probably choosing his love interest(s) from this list. and the list tends to be condensed down even more from there (how many times have you seen peter's love interests advertised as betty-gwen-mj-felicia, or gwen-mj-felicia, or gwen-and-mj?) with each woman standing out and contrasting well against each other.

and the six— not the specific love interests, but their attributes and story functions— should be used more for other spider-people. if nothing else because it means each character can have a convenient shortlist of love interests to reference and return to, instead of a constantly-growing stack of quick relationships that never get to deepen or evolve with characters who become easy to forget.

miles

i mentioned this here, but miles's supporting cast is at its strongest when it creates original characters for him to interact with, fills them with elements of classic spider-man characters and their stories, and remixes those stories in a unique way.

so his love interests, at their best, are original characters whose qualities combine and reimagine the big six's.

for example:

katie bishop: liz allan (superficial interest in the first girl he crushes on in canon) x betty brant (first romance).

lana baumgartner: cindy moon (fellow superhero) x mj watson (dysfunctional family background; from his world)

kamala khan: betty brant (remaining friends) x liz allan (unreciprocated crush) x cindy moon (fellow superhero).

gwen stacy (65): gwen stacy (...) x cindy moon (forced spidermarriage) x liz allan (superficial attraction based on a need to gain status through a relationship with her)

barbara rodriguez: gwen stacy (classmate who's naive to his alter ego) x betty brant (goes on to date his friend).

tiana toomes: felicia hardy (initially problematic vigilante) x mj watson (family complications; the true love who balances him out and completes him).

... though there are six listed, honestly i think miles' love interest roster isn't complete yet, and there are one or two more slots left to fill. i'll circle back to that.

first, some notes of interest:

miles inverts the 2:1 civilian to superhuman ratio of peter's love interests. marvel seems to be moving away from the civilian love interest in general... and miles seems to want a partner who can come with him on adventures. he's a more social hero, and more forward-thinking. he's cool with his girlfriend getting in danger (because he hasn't been traumatized by that yet), and he doesn't like superheroing alone.

he's still in high school, yet has had a lot of love interests, which speaks to how characters age a lot slower than they used to these days... and how miles isn't as much of a loser as peter was at his age. he's less sexist and more social, and therefore he's more successful at getting girlfriends than peter was at his age.

instead of sorting the love interests based on when he met them, sort them based on why he's drawn to them: katie and barbara are his classmates. gwen and kamala are prominent heroes in their own right who he keeps getting pr-relationshipped with. lana and tiana are vigilantes from troubled backgrounds who he can influence for the better. two love interests reflect his civilian side, two reflect the hero he wants to be, two bring out both by helping miles remember why he's a hero in the first place-- because of the person he is under the mask-- and influencing him to stay true to that person.

given how editorial pr-shipping miles with gwen and kamala gives him this tendency to uh. step outside of his committed relationships to chase after the idea of dating the brand-friendly superheroes who give him more clout... miles has a recurring issue with objectifying women and treating them like accessories when he's having a crisis of confidence that he needs to work out.

specifically an issue as it pertains to gwen: all his worst instincts are externalized in how he treats gwen. he keeps ignoring when she tells him to stop flirting with him or that she'd rather be friends, has an extremely superficial interest in her mostly tied to using her as a stepping stone to success, and if they get together, he'd be stopping her from coming out. which means he's either so superficially attracted to her that he doesn't even realize she's queer... or he does know and is willingly keeping her from being her authentic self so he can have her as a trophy gf. either way it's a Bad look and he'll never conquer those flaws unless he fully moves on from her.

he's usually drawn to alternative/punkish, artsy, slightly older girls with chips on their shoulders who are more cynical than he is. he wants to fix them, and he's looking for someone to balance his more optimistic tendencies out.

demographically, miles is into white girls at the start of his arc (or when he's being written poorly), and starts branching out to date poc girls once he gains confidence and has a better understanding of himself. narratively this tracks with his overall arc about breaking away from his need to be like peter and committing to representing and protecting his community over getting white people to like him-- and the best realization of his romance arc that'll support his overall arc would be him ending up with a black girl, which we are hopefully moving towards with tiana.

he hasn't had a fridged/tragic love interest, intellectual equal, or been in a toxic dynamic yet in the comics (i mean. that's basically gwiles but no one will admit it. the confirmed toxic dynamic he's had thus far is in the games with phin mason)... raneem rashad, anyone?

anyway at this point, miles is still in high school and has had plenty of love interests. and he's a young enough character that we're just gonna have to see who lasts as more contenders are introduced.

if i had to guess,

kamala will stick around, but won't consistently be his love interest, and even when she is they won't end up together. she and miles are the two biggest New Generation Legacy Heroes and the pr shipping writes itself. but because she's too big a character in her own right and far from his corner of the marvel universe half the time, she might not be a constant adaptation. she'd either be watered down, or it would pull too much focus to explain her presence unless it's specifically a team-up or group story. and even if she does show up, we know it's a given they won't end up together. it's a solid stepping-stone romance.

gwen should have faded into history as a regrettable one-time thing. but because of spiderverse synergy that won't ever happen and the best we can hope for is a temporary relationship. because she's also got too much going on, has her own world and has Gwen Stacy Baggage attached, she’s too difficult to fit into his stories without completely compromising her character to force her into the girlfriend role. not that marvel has a problem doing that. and like kamala, being his love interest holds her back from being her own protagonist with her own stories. she should hopefully not be a constant adaptation... but the spiderverse movies are going to keep causing versions of them to at least flirt with the idea of a relationship. the horse is out of the barn re: stopping this ship from happening again, but hopefully it'll be reframed as an optional and always-temporary situation that isn't good for either of them. which can work; bad relationships can be good character development if you own that they're bad and let them end. if.

tiana (hopefully!) will stick around and make it to the endgame. she's That Great. she's an original character who won't contradict preexisting variants (unlike gwen or katie). she's too unique to be confused for another character. she's got a memorable design, cool powers, fun personality and great backstory that enhances the overall spider-man canon by making the vulture a more developed villain. and she isn't popular enough to steal his spotlight (kamala) or have better things to do elsewhere (kamala, gwen). not to mention that their relationship is the best miles has ever had. this is the girl he should end up with.

barbara might survive... or we'll just get a series of temporary civilian visions academy gfs in her image (like insomniac's hailey cooper). she's easy to adapt... but also easy to forget. and compared to the competition, we all know he's not gonna end up with her.

lana might last, but if she's readapted, she'll probably change a lot. she could step into katie's role as the initial white visions gf (... maybe the only visions gf; sorry barbara), or kamala's in adaptations where ms marvel being in miles's supporting cast would be too distracting but they still want that superhero-flirtation-to-friendship story. she could even take gwen's role as the white superhero he wants to fix and has a problematic infatuation with. it's a tossup, but lana has the range to participate in a lot of stories, and a compelling powerset and backstory that are worth exploring. another solid stepping-stone girlfriend.

katie's probably going to fade away. she has too little impact and is too easy to confuse with kate bishop, hawkeye, to be easily adaptable. no big loss.

... and we're probably due one more major love interest category to take the space katie's going to leave: a tragically villainous tech-powered girl of color, like phin mason or raneem rashad. (... or margo kess, minus the tragic villainy)

it's too early for miles's love interests to scale down from big six to a big four, three or two. the general progression seems to be white girl -> non-black poc girl -> black girl, and civilian gf -> hero gf -> troubled vigilante who becomes a superhero after falling for him. we'll just have to see who it ends up being.

(personally i'm rooting for kamala / lana / tiana to take the big three. realistically it'll be kamala / gwen / hopefully tiana.)

hopefully canon starts to standardize his love interests soon. because if he keeps getting new ones, all of them become easier to forget, and the worst relationship with the best exposure, gwiles, will rise to the top simply because she's the one that made it to the movies, which would be terrible for them both.

as for gwen...

even more complicated.

her character's even newer than miles's, and her romantic history is largely defined by having other people (men. and em jay.) push their desires on her, rather than gwen exploring her own. she's had a lot of false starts, and a lot of obviously queer tension with other women that marvel refuses to act on, but canonically she's barely dated at all and isn't motivated by romance.

gwen also sits between peter and miles in terms of love interest originality: it makes sense for gwen to initially interact with alternate versions of peter's supporting cast, because that's gwen's supporting cast too... but like miles, she should still have unique dynamics with those characters because she's not peter. and since she's gwen-65, she should eventually branch out to relationships with characters on earth-65 that 616-gwen never would have met or gotten close to.

so no, gwen should not end up with earth-65's em jay ~because every spider has their mj~. that idea implies that mj is drawn to peter's spider-powers instead of peter as a person, and that she'd have fallen for anyone who had them. it invalidates the uniqueness of peter and mj's romance by turning mj into a spider-groupie, and of gwen-65 herself (and any spider-person you're trying to shove an mj at to check a box). gwen deserves a love story that's totally new and all hers. no peter, no miles, no alternate version of a peter/miles love interest. give her someone new.

anyway so far i think we can make a case for maybe three or four of hers.

peter parker*: liz allan x gwen stacy. except in this case, he's the one with the superficial one-sided crush on her and he's the one who ends up dead.

miles morales (1610)*: cindy moon, the forced divine spidermarriage. with a bit of liz allan, for the superficiality of it all. (... and felicia, for the toxicity no one will talk about)

harry osborn: primarily betty brant (the high school sweetheart she never got to have who ultimately stays friends with her), with elements of felicia (a former vigilante) and mj (understands and accepts the alter ego)

em jay watson: yes she's an mj, but honestly? she's the gwen stacy (the first love out of high school in the same career path who hates gwen's hero alter ego) with elements of felicia hardy (she's the toxic relationship) and betty brant (going on to date one of gwen's friends)

[*gwen doesn't reciprocate their feelings, but at this point peter and miles' links to gwen are so inescapable it's a given that romantic tension will define their dynamics for the forseeable future. anytime spider-gwen is adapted, she's gonna have to deal with this shit from at least one of them. mentally i'm lumping them together because these fuckers are The Same.]

she has a few major slots left to fill... but gwen's situation isn't quite like miles and peter's. aside from having a different personality and story, she's queer and female, so her romantic arc's gonna differ.

gwen can't be in a relationship with someone on 65 who doesn't know her secret identity because it's already public there (unless there's a status quo reset that gives gwen her privacy back, she dates someone on another world, or we retcon her a high school boyfriend from her early spider-woman days). which makes her unique from peter and miles.

she hasn't seriously dated anyone who's only interested in her famous alter ego yet either. which, given ghost-spider's celebrity status on earth-65, should be an eventuality... johnny-65 or felicia-65, anyone?

gwen-65 was never a science-oriented person, doesn't share peter and miles' humanities-or-stem postgrad conflict, and already committed to music. so a science-minded love interest would result in a different dynamic because gwen wouldn't be their intellectual equal. which could be interesting.

... but if we reframe gwen's postgrad conflict to be 'musician or professional superhero'... dating another full-time vigilante is the logical next step. how about kitty-65? or spider-punk, who's both?

(... and if being torn between two worlds is literal in her being torn between '65 or 616'.... well. maybe dating another superhero who isn't peter or miles on 616 could work too...... so, cindy moon, kaine, laura kinney or anya corazon?)

she hasn't met or begun a relationship with her true love yet. if she even has one. who knows, it's not impossible that gwen will turn out to be ace (though extremely unlikely), or if she'll simply decide to remain single. after all, she isn't romantic and doesn't want a domestic family. she'd be happy on her own.

... and since this has to be stated somewhere, it's all but obvious at this point that gwen's queer. she needs to have both male and female love interests.

being in the closet, pressured into comphet and sucked into imbalanced relationships where she'd be the subservient partner (usually to a man) are currently what defines gwen's romantic life, and the roadblocks stopping her from moving on. so before she gets any further, she's gonna have to resolve those issues first. which is gonna take a while, because of spiderverse synergy throwing her at miles like a tomato at the wall to see if gwiles will stick every year and marvel's reluctance to let her be queer and leave the male gaze.

at this point gwen's love interests can be paired too. and like peter and miles, it's reflective of her romantic arc (evolving from an object of someone else's desire to a subject who chases her own), which is related to her personal one (a queer girl fighting for equality and autonomy in a universe that wants to keep those things from her). it's about gwen's level of agency, equality and reciprocity in the dynamic:

she begins with virtually no say in her relationships and no equality over her partner, who she isn't even that into. she's shoved into forced romances with more popular and powerful men that she isn't particularly attracted to but knows she's 'supposed to be with' who trap gwen in the male gaze, pressure her to live up to an ideal that makes her uncomfortable (earth-8) or kills her (earth-616), and take her away from her world (peter and miles).

she starts to deepen her relationships with people she's sincerely attracted to [who are also her world's versions of peter's supporting cast] but can't be with because of extenuating circumstances related to gwen being a superhero and them being unable to keep up with her (harry and em jay).

logically, the next threshold should be overcoming those circumstances to actually have lasting romantic relationships with people who are her equals. and the love interests should be characters unconnected to peter parker, miles morales, or their supporting casts. something new.

since gwen's all but confirmed as bi at this point, she has to date at least one woman for an extended period of time to lock that in. at least one of those threshold three love interests must be a woman.

and given how much her story revolves around dodging comphet and escaping the effects of the straight male gaze, she should never ever end up with a cishet guy. she must end up with a queer person.

and then maybe we'll find out if gwen's genuinely not interested in romance, or if she was so traumatized that she didn't realize she could be in a healthy relationship with someone she's actually attracted to and like it.

if it's the latter, then she'd better get actual closure with harry and em jay, where she can actually be in relationships with them, since she's barely dated harry and hasn't even gotten together with em jay, or at least acknowledge why ghostgoblin or gwenjay didn't work out.

and then give her 3-4ish major male and female love interests to compensate for the toxic and one-sided relationships she's had so far and never let a straight guy get his hands on her again. most of her experience being that is too depressing.

[notesfromthepalace]

The Girls are mad!

And they can stay mad. If something doesn't sit well with me, not only am I going to say something, I am not going to subject myself to it.

Yes, its story time:

So a few months ago, I had went out with a group of people, both men and women, in downtown Bellevue. When I got the invite, I initially said I was going to drive myself - but oh no, they insisted that I ride with them, bad idea. Mind you, we were suppose to go bowling. When we got to the bowling alley, there was no reservation. We're in our mid-twenties, why are you not making reservations for when we go out?! We arrived at the bowling alley around 8pm and they said it was a two hour wait. I put my name and number down for them to call us when they're ready as we went to a restaurant nearby. The restaurant was cute, it was a little packed - but this is where the night became disastrous.

I love fine dining and I was raised well, so etiquette and class are my bread and butter.

"Hi how are you, a table for eight please?"

We sit, and while we're all looking at the menu the waiter informs us that any party greater than six will have only one check; We all said yes and agreed to the stipulations of the restaurant.

Or at least I thought so. Maybe they didn't hear because half of them showed up inebriated.

I'm already annoyed from the non-existent reservation for the bowling alley and my level of regret keeps growing by the minute.

For someone like myself who frequents high-class establishments on the regular, I know that if there is an experienced chef in the kitchen, as long as you can describe something (even if it's not on the menu), they'll make it. I ordered bread for the table and asked for a garlic butter vinaigrette (for the girls that get it) for myself. As I am ordering, one of the guys yells and says "Sarah can order for us because she knows how to talk like them" - WHAT!!!!!! The level of mortification.

Is "mortification" even a thing?

I was MORTIFIED!

I also know when people see something they haven't had before, they tend to want to taste it. So when the bread came out, I did not double dip into my garlic butter vinaigrette. One of the girls asked if she could taste it and I allowed her to. But then she double-dipped, into MY garlic butter vinaigrette.

I ordered another one. I am not the type to make a scene in public. She finished my original one and called the waiter over "Waiter, can I get that butter stuff too?" - loud as all hell. She didn't even get the proper name of it so he brought her a stick of butter and she was upset; Bombastic side eye *with Caribbean accent.

Besides the utter loudness and vulgarity of the night - the icing on this pineapple upside-down cake was when the check came and they saw the price that everyone would have to pay (only like $60 each by the way):

"I only had water" "I didn't order that much food" "My drink wasn't even expensive" "I need to speak to the manager"

M O R T I F I E D

I asked myself why did I allow myself to be out with people that I know don't know how to conduct themselves in public. And what's worse is Washington is a predominantly white state and that night we were the only Black people in the restaurant. Now whatever misconception they may have had about Black people or people of color in general, they solidified and reinforced every negative stereotype.

Since that night, I had never been out with the group ever again.

I almost had a rocky night like that again this weekend but I cancelled because I knew it was going to be a mess.

Pretty much one of the girls mentioned how we never hang out - and I don't. She mentioned this place in Seattle called MBar. Any place in the city that you want to go to needs a reservation made. She said she called and couldn't reserve a spot, interesting.

Ms. Princess Chanel called, and what do you know they answer and say that there is an opening Friday night at 6:30. I proceed with the reservation and they ask to put my card on file, you know, in the event I don't show up they can charge me - which is normal for nicer and more exclusive restaurants. I believe she didn't make the reservation because she did not want to put her card on file. It's giving I wanna be a "pseudo-pretty girl": someone who wants to act like this lifestyle is normal to them but it's not because anyone who knows anything knows that normal.

I let them know that the reservation has been made but then one of the girls was like they are unsure if they can make it - you should have said that before I made the reservation. Then it turned into a "can I ride with you" and "who is coming to pick me up" - excuse my French but who the freak did you think was going to be the designated driver to two drunk bozos who don't even know how to conduct themselves as ladies - absolutely the freak not.

I CANCELLED THE RESERVATION.

They can go out by themselves and that is exactly what I said.

They ended up at a local bar - which is fine if that's what you're into. But don't try to frequent the places that I go to bringing that bottom of the barrel behavior with you; People know me, I stop and say hello.

So the mad girls can stay mad and I will go out by my lonesome, with my African King or my girls back home - you know, the girls that get it.

And that's who this blog is for: the girls who get it, even though I know the girls that don't get it watch and read too. Maybe they might learn a few things.

But as always, with love from your soon to be Mrs. Haitian-African,

Sarah Chanel

xoxo

P.S.

I went to brunch with an adult the next morning at a restaurant where we made a reservation:

[molsno]

have you seriously never seen the horrible violence of terfs against trans men? it's not just ''hey, detransition and join us'' it's shit like ''kill yourself, you're just a predator, you are a traitor, you are disgusting, you are stealing our girls, you are convincing girls of being disgusting men, you should detransition, you should be locked up, you deserve to die, you don't deserve acess to appropriate healthcare'' and so on. terfs are incredibly violent towards trans men and transmascs

every so often I do deep dives into terf blogs before I block them so I can get an idea of their current discourse and in my years of doing this I can say that no, I've never seen that. the few times where they say anything close to that, their primary goal is to discourage dysphoric terfs from being "seduced" by the "transgender craze" and transitioning, thereby aligning themselves with trans women and abandoning the cause. and that's the case more broadly when trans men come up as a terf talking point: they're used rhetorically to fearmonger about trans women. recently I saw a terf post drumming up outrage about the possibility of trans men using women's restrooms, because then trans women could just claim to be trans men to gain access to these spaces. that's why I find claims that trans men are equally targeted by terfs to be extremely dubious. because yes, trans men are harmed by trans exclusionary radical feminism, and that's genuinely awful and I have no doubt that it has a serious and deeply painful impact on a lot of trans men, but they are always used to further the cause of directing violence toward trans women.

that being said, I HAVE noticed that nearly all of the trans men who make those claims only do so in direct response to trans women talking about terfs (like you're doing right now), and I find it interesting that when I comb through the blogs of the people who do this, I find that most of them have adopted an ideology based on the fallacy central to men's rights activism that men are oppressed specifically for being masculine, except that this time the women who are directly responsible for doing this oppression are trans. it's a reactionary ideology used to halt feminism in its tracks so that we can all take a step back and center the needs of men again. asserting that the real victims of radical feminism are trans men is useful in this regard, as it also allows trans men to deny their complicity in transmisogyny; after all, if they benefit from oppressing trans women, then that means they're no longer helpless victims and their whole ideology falls apart.

but hey, while I have you anon, it's my turn to ask a question! have you seriously never seen any transmasc terfs? because let's be honest, my assertion that they exist is undoubtedly why you sent this in the first place, but you seem to not want to address that directly. I wonder why that is? could it be that the existence of transmasc terfs, even with their relatively small numbers, undermines your argument that trans men and trans women are equally victimized by trans exclusionary radical feminism? very curious... 🤔

[anubishoarmurath]

These people haven't even had a smidgen of this energy for Ukraine where Russian soldiers systematically rape and butcher civilians (and soldiers who also don't deserve to be raped and butchered because the Geneva convention exists) and have done so from April 2022 (which is when the first reports came in). Because that would require admitting that Russia is bad and if you admit that then clearly you admit the US is right. Or something. And it's white people killing white people so who cares, right? Except that not all Ukrainians are white, and Russia is systematically destroying not only people and cultures in Ukraine but also their own indigenous cultures by disproportionately mobilising them and luring them with high-paying contracts so they go to try to escape a life of crushing poverty and oppression. And most of them die. And are a simple scapegoat to push Russian brutality on. Nevermind that testimonies confirm it's regular-ass muscovites doing this shit as well and always has been. (The first "practice" run was Chechnya and ironically noone gave a shit. Because they look white, probably. And most of these pro-pal fans were babies back then. Nevermind that Chechnyans are also Muslim, whoops.) And yeah, girls and women are killing themselves and self-harming in Afghanistan because their lives feel like pointless slavery to Taliban, and noone seems to care. Iran gets mentioned until it turns out they hate Israel and then they're good apparently. Same with Yemen, nevermind that there's been a famine for years. Sudan they barely even think about, because who cares about Africans? (I mean I do admit I lose way less sleep over it because it's not my continent and it's not the same invader who wants us dead. It is still horrific, though.) It's never been about "numbers". Europeans barely lose any sleep over the destruction of countless Ukrainian cities and towns. Nevermind that it's happening on their own fucking continent. The practically only people I've seen care about it are Ukrainians, Eastern Europeans, Finnish people and the few Jewish tumblrs I follow.

Do I take it personally? Yes. But Russians want me and mine dead so I think I am allowed to. "Again, the American black/white dichotomy doesn't graph onto other countries. Judaism and Islam both predate the concept of whiteness." This! Are Armenians white? Are Turkish people white? Are Italians white? And yet all those people get racialised as non-white in the US. Or used to get racialised as non-white. I mean, Armenians and Turks get racialised even in freaking Europe! It depends on how, though, because race and ethnicity is treated differently in all four corners of Europe! For most of Eastern Europe they're all foreigners even if they were born here or one parent was local. I am Estonian and I can look darker than people from all of those countries and ethnicities. Begging Americans to realise the world doesn't work like America everywhere. I don't know if this long screed has a point but eh. I wrote it.

Vean_ima

[hapalopus]

Are your horse ocs like normal horses on earth or in a fantastical world? :o

My horse ocs live in a fantasy world called the Rootspan. I don't have any drawing equipment on hand right now, but their world rests on the roots of the World Tree, and the World Tree's canopy forms their sky. The sun, moon, and stars are all enormous migratory animals that live in the canopy and happen to circle it every 24 hours. Picture this, but with the roots in the middle and no dark world below:

They're actually shapeshifters, who can mix and match human and horse parts however they want, though most prefer to stick to somewhat normal body plans. They have two languages, simply called humantongue and horsetongue (they fully embrace being a combination of both, rather than a separate creature). They have the same name in both languages - a drawn-out whinny, best transliterated as hrihriwa. Normal horses exist too, but they're quite small and stocky and only good for light draft work. In addition to being larger than regular horses, hrihriwa have a warmblooded body type and can not change the appearance of their eyes and hair. Compare my main man Moussa's horse/human forms to his pet horse Ngeeha:

The ability for a hrihriwa to shapeshift is innate, but there are varying degrees of talent. Moussa is very talented and easily takes on weird combinations:

Meanwhile Moussa's sire is not very talented and can only change between horse and human. Most hrihriwa are somewhere in the middle.

Hrihriwa have an overall low population compared to the other peoples of the Rootspan (which includes everything from humans to squirrel/monkey people to plant manticores (or 'planticores')) and a lot of people have never even heard of them before. But they still have hundreds of clans with different lifestyles, traditions, and politics.

Moussa is from the A'atwe clan, who live in the mountains, farming flax, lentils, clover, wheat, barley, and alfalfa on their terraces. They also farm olives in great numbers, as well as cabbage, alliums, figs, and apples. Their livestock includes pigeons, giant hamsters, goats, cats, and of course horses, as well as semi-tame geese and songbirds. They're omnivores with a big emphasis on plants.

The A'atwe clan is a feudal-ish society, ruled by a class of nobles and clergymen, with a Grand Lord at the top. The title of Grand Lord is inherited from sire to colt (no girls allowed) and Moussa is next in line. But don't worry, he will be banished well before his accession for consorting with one of the many human farmers who live in the clan too.

All nobles and clergymen are hrihriwa but not all hrihriwa belong to the nobility/clergy. Most of them live alongside humans in a "separate but equal" kind of way that's not equal at all. It is forbidden by law for hrihriwa to have any kind of intimate relationship with humans (and horses, for that matter). Women and mares hold very little rank (and if you refer to a mare as a woman she'll kick you, those are two very different things).

The A'atwe are also quite religious, worshiping the sun and scorning the moon. They have a practice called Sunraising, which they do every morning to encourage the sun to rise and give her strength to vanquish her foe, the moon [insert eggman piss on the moon meme]. The also practice bodily preservation, believing that any act to 'tarnish' a hrihriwa's body is sacrilege, no matter if it's piercings, horseshoes, or even just a haircut. They wear their hair in protective braids which some (like Moussa) tie into loops with fibulae rings. Don't... don't ask about Moussa's chopped bangs. He's very ashamed of them.

But every clan is different. Some are even more strict than the A'atwe, others are downright anarchic. Most are simple farmers, some are miners or hunter/gatherers or bandits or fishermen. Some live in 'traditional fantasy cities' alongside all the other peoples of the Rootspan. Most keep to themselves, though.

Since there are no animals worth riding in the Rootspan, and no vehicles, the best ways to get around are by wagon or by somehow getting a hrihriwa to work for you. There are magical artifacts that can prevent a hrihriwa from shapeshifting. Trapped hrihriwa are highly prized (and priced) as slave labor, and it's not at all uncommon for a clan to have been raided by slavers before. The A'atwe were last raided 50 years ago, which many still remember (since hrihriwa live slightly longer than humans, easily reaching 100 and sometimes reaching 150).

One of my other horses, Kaya, escaped a raid and struggled to survive on her own. She eventually gave herself up to the slavers who'd captured her clan and now works for them, plotting her revenge while trying to track down her lost family (but mostly plotting revenge).

Everything about the hrihriwa is extremely self-indulgent. This is made for me and me alone, and if others happen to like it too, then that's great :)

[mdxlearningjournal]

Artist report 2 - Guerrilla Girls

In 1985 an anonymous NYC feminist group called ‘the Guerrilla girls’ formed in activism, to create awareness of sexism and racism within the art world and society itself. They are known for using humour combined with their direct-action strategies to spark debate and force change (Leng, 2020). Although it can be perceived as being insensitive, I believe that using humour to convey a serious message can help it feel more relatable. People may be less likely to read a poster that is very serious unless the pictures are compelling. They stated, “Mainly, we wanted the focus to be on the issues, not on our personalities or on our own work” (Tate, 2004). I think that wearing masks is great because not only does it show how dedicated they are to the cause but also allows it to be a faceless campaign. I believe that because women are so sexualised in the media, covering their faces ensures that no expectations or judgements of their appearance are made. One of their most famous pieces is “Do women have to be naked to get into the Met. Museum?” (1989), this highlighted the massive difference between the amount of art that portrayed nude women and the number of female artists represented in the museum. The question they ask encourages the audience to focus on how women are portrayed in art and to think about how these representations reflect and uphold larger social norms. I think it raises interesting points about gender and brings to light the discrimination women experience in society. Like how the art world has historically been dominated by men, and this question challenges the idea that women's bodies are only valuable when they're sexualized or objectified. The Guerrilla Girls' argument that women will never be treated as equals is further supported by the fact that it was rejected from the New York fund for "not being clear enough," (Tate, 2004). It seems to me that this was just an excuse to please those who disagree with the Guerrilla Girls' message, and to pacify those who do agree, as facts and numbers are quite literally displayed on the billboard.

Image List:

Do women have to be naked to get into the Met. Museum? (1989) Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/guerrilla-girls-do-women-have-to-be-naked-to-get-into-the-met-museum-p78793 (Accessed: 3/5/2023)

References:

LENG, K., 2020. Art, Humor, and Activism: The Sardonic, Sustaining Feminism of the Guerrilla Girls, 1985–2000. Journal of Women's History, 32(4), pp. 110-134. (Accessed: 1/5/2023)

Tate (2004) Do women have to be naked to get into the Met. Museum? Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/guerrilla-girls-do-women-have-to-be-naked-to-get-into-the-met-museum-p78793 (Accessed: 3/5/2023)

[sophia-epistemia]

I do tend to think that gender identity is, for most people, a lot less immediately set in stone than sexual orientation is. My personal impression is that the vast majority of people start to understand very quickly whether they are attracted to men, women, or both, and that they only tell themselves differently because they fear social censure. I'm not really convinced that the same is true of gender identity; I think that for an extremely large number of people it does function a bit more like a fetish, in that there are people who encounter the idea for the first time, go, "Huh, yeah that's cool or whatever" and after repeated encounters come to think, "Actually I am really into this."

do.. do you have any fetish? because for at least my *counts on fingers* two, three main ones, wait,, five, no I forgot- EIGHT! it was pretty much instantaneous.

and i had some (at least two, arguably three) of them before i had any sort of actual sexuality.

my orientation, however, fluctuated a lot, depending on environment and hormone levels.

i think that, once people get rid of their own homophobia and stop fearing or caring about that of others, everyone's True Sexual Orientation is "the people they find hot because their brain is wired to find them hot". it most often clusters within the gender they are not, for obvious reasons.

(my hypothesis on ace people is that the set of people they're wired to find hot is empty or close enough to empty that they never saw any. i find it plausible that some ace people are wired to be xenosexual and would only find hot, like, e.g., people with facial tentacles, or obligate fetishists for three-boobed ladies, or configurations that don't exist, don't exist yet, or can only exist in m.c. escher's world. and some people may well have an actually non-existent sex drive! "amount of sex desired" is a trait that can very plausibly vary all the way up and down from "zero" to "please wirehead my genitals already")

I'm very, very suspicious of the tendency to then assert that this must inherently, then, be a discovery of something that always existed within the person since birth.

i was fitting in infinitely more easily among girls than among boys since day one of kindergarten. and ever since.

There's also the fact that gender roles exist, and people want to be legible to people around them.

*goes on a science search to find a cure against conformism*

For a lot of people, dressing up as a vampire on Halloween is fun, but dressing up as a vampire to go grocery shopping in June would be deeply embarrassing. Because on Halloween all the people around you understand why you're dressed that way and your dress makes you part of a larger social whole; in June you're going against the grain, marking yourself out from the people around you, probably drawing stares and hidden smiles.

weakness and cowardice. I do that. consequences? "oh my god you look amazing 😳" 2d6 times a day!

Because sex roles in our society are so set in stone, there is a certain extreme dissatisfaction with not following them, even when allowed to do so.

ok this one confuses me. do you mean following either one of the two, regardless of one's cagab, or specifically not following the gender role one is "supposed" to due to cagab?

Part of my confusion about "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria" is that it's really just... not a good term? It doesn't really reflect what it's supposed to, which is the idea that some teenagers essentially take on a trans identity as a sort of social role spurred on by friend groups.

I think that this is likely to be actually true in at least some sense, so I was amazed at how unconvincing the Littman paper which coined the term actually is. The parental narratives advanced in that paper are just unbelievable on their face.

Ever since the gay rights movement I've felt that our vocabulary for talking about this stuff is deliberately incredibly stupid, for reasons I haven't quite been able to suss out.

In the gay rights battles, everybody got together and agreed that there were exactly two possibilities:

Gay people are born that way

Gay people made a choice to be gay

I think this is really dumb because those are really obviously not the only two options, and also because there's lots of biological "born this way" things we still treat or try to eliminate, and lots of choices that are still incredibly important to protect.

But also, like, okay, think about sexual fetishes. Say you have a guy with a cheerleader fetish. Cheerleaders are a contingent social phenomenon; no 12th century Breton had a cheerleader fetish. The possibility of such a fetish arose with the invention of the cheerleader.

But it's just as obvious that people do not choose their fetishes the way that they choose, say, a new car. Nobody says, "After listing out the pros and cons, I felt that having a cheerleader fetish was the best choice, because it combines a little bit of exotic spice while still being mainstream enough that it can't be used as blackmail if people find out about it."

No, one day you just realize that you think cheerleaders are really hot.

I do tend to think that gender identity is, for most people, a lot less immediately set in stone than sexual orientation is. My personal impression is that the vast majority of people start to understand very quickly whether they are attracted to men, women, or both, and that they only tell themselves differently because they fear social censure.

I'm not really convinced that the same is true of gender identity; I think that for an extremely large number of people it does function a bit more like a fetish, in that there are people who encounter the idea for the first time, go, "Huh, yeah that's cool or whatever" and after repeated encounters come to think, "Actually I am really into this."

I'm very, very suspicious of the tendency to then assert that this must inherently, then, be a discovery of something that always existed within the person since birth.

There's also the fact that gender roles exist, and people want to be legible to people around them.

For a lot of people, dressing up as a vampire on Halloween is fun, but dressing up as a vampire to go grocery shopping in June would be deeply embarrassing. Because on Halloween all the people around you understand why you're dressed that way and your dress makes you part of a larger social whole; in June you're going against the grain, marking yourself out from the people around you, probably drawing stares and hidden smiles.

Because sex roles in our society are so set in stone, there is a certain extreme dissatisfaction with not following them, even when allowed to do so.

I can wear chokers and frills and pretty hair ribbons if I want, but the women around me can do that anywhere in the country and have people think of it as normal, as obvious, rather than *a statement*.

Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, from reading the Littman paper, seems to refer to a parental conviction that their child essentially got the idea to be trans from a peer group who convinced them they were trans despite a lack of gender dysphoria in childhood.

Like I said, the general narrative is really, really hard to believe at face value, for example:

A total of 63.8% of the parents have been called “transphobic” or “bigoted” by their children for one or more reasons, the most common being for: disagreeing with the child about the child’s self-assessment of being transgender (51.2%); recommending that the child take more time to figure out if their feelings of gender dysphoria persist or go away (44.6%); expressing concerns for the child’s future if they take hormones and/or have surgery (40.4%); calling their child by the pronouns they used to use (37.9%); telling the child they thought that hormones or surgery would not help them (37.5%); recommending that their child work on other mental health issues first to determine if they are the cause of the dysphoria (33.3%); calling the child by their birth name (33.3%); or recommending a comprehensive mental health evaluation before starting hormones and/or surgery (20.8%)

So, like, the whole tenor of the paper is that these are basically very liberal parents who are sort of being cut off by their kids for no reason, but like...

This is typical of the general weasel wording used by Littman. Are the third of parents who called their kids by pronouns they used to use going, "She - Oops, he, I'm sorry" one time and getting blasted? Do they claim to be trying but just get it wrong literally every single time? Or do they just flat out refuse to call their child by their preferred pronouns?

When my brother was first entering high school, he joined the Sea Scouts, a division of the Boy Scouts dedicated to learning about sailing. He later entered a maritime college and has had a succession of maritime jobs, which will likely be his career for the rest of his life.

Is that the result of social contagion or was he born that way?

I think the question is obviously both absurd and irrelevant.

[1982brucespringsteen]

yeaah i'll talk about the one piece modern au i'll never write why not

luffy lives with ace and sabo in a squat. he's an anarchoprimitivist but only because he likes the back to monke memes. ace is a tankie and sabo is a trotskyist and this house is a fucking nightmare. they don't work regularly mostly because ace and sabo are members of two different leftist organizations that are this close to being labeled terrorist by the government, luffy is a yoga instructor.

zoro rents a room in mihawk's big ass dracula themed gothic mansion. at first mihawk had a goth only policy and that's why perona lives there too but he soon realized having a giant chandelier in every room was skyrocketting the electric bill and lowered the bar. enter zoro, a pro kendo athlete gym rat who insists on using public transport even though he gets lost every. single. time. he doesn't have a proper ideology but he believes that people should be allowed to get away with murder just once.

nami is an ancap #girlboss lesbian influencer. she lives in her own apartment that she pays for by regularly scamming men into buying her feet pics or bath water or whatever. she was raised by a butch ex marine in an off-grid homestead where they grew tangerines. she's best friends with usopp because they're the same brand of friend who would definetely try to get you into a pyramid scam, but in different fonts. she only values people over money if the people in question are her friends. she has a rotating cast of girlfriends but the only one who managed to get real close to her was vivi and now they're not on speaking terms even though nami's mom still asks about her.

usopp owns a grow shop and sells weed to everyone but charges rich people extra for wealth redistribution. he paints, does pottery, is a competitive slingshot champion, writes poetry, costumizes clothes and practices permaculture. a couple of years ago he had to leave his hometown because he got involved with a white girl and her racist uncle went hysteric. they still text.

sanji's family owns a big pharma company and have ties with neon*zi organizations. he was abused from early age, ran away as a teen and started working for zeff, who knew he wasn't actually 16 but employed him anyways to keep him from being homeless. he became an amazing chef but his female coworkers found it impossible to work with him. zeff took him to therapy before it could get out of hands, but instead of accepting he was gay and moving on sanji did mental gymnastics and became super patronizing towards women. he owns several gastrorestaurants and a drag bar where he occasionally secretly performs.

chopper is a child prodigy studying medicine at 15 years old. he mostly hangs out around adults and he thinks that makes him very mature but since those adults are like. luffy and co. it doesn't really count. robin is his legal guardian and they live together with franky in a nice apartment on top of franky's mechanic shop. he hero-worships zoro but does nothing when usopp pulls pranks on him because he's a teenager and teenagers are like that.

robin was reverse indiana jones: she stole shit from museums and private collections and returned them to their original location. was wanted by the interpol for some time but now she lives peacefully under a fake identity as an archaeology uni professor. she and franky met at a brook concert when robin was trying to distract some cops and franky was super cool with some random hot chick suddenly kissing him to blend in. they kind of clicked and went back together to robin's hotel room and had the best sex of their lives and didn't saw each other for years. now they co parent chopper and she's her friends' emergency contact number.

franky is a rockabilly mechanic with customized prosthetics and immaculate dad vibes. after their spectacular one night stand robin lived rent free on his mind for YEARS until they reunited and now they're married. proud men get pegged activist. was on a gang as a teen and loves to bring it up as much as he can. he's in a dad rock band with brook and they're terrible even though brook is a professional musician.

brook was a soul superstar like 30 years ago but now he's barely remembered and he resents it. he met the group when he started buying weed from usopp and now he's in zoro's kendo class and has just joined jinbe's ocean protection association and whale saving club. he's recording a comeback album with franky's help but it's going terrible.

jinbe is everyone's grandpa even though he's younger than brook, but at least brook knows how to use emojis and pretends to understand memes. runs the multidisciplinary gym where luffy works and zoro and brook train. he's a dignified old man who teaches karate to little kids and always dresses in traditional clothes but he's also a surfer, met luffy in prison, was a mob boss AND an environmentalist extremist and once attempted assassination on a conservative politician.

vivi is the heir of a monarchy, studied political science and is doing her masters on international relations. she cultivates this nice rich girl persona but was involved in the scandal of the century a couple of years ago when someone leaked pics of insta famous libertarian influencer catburglarnami snorting coke off her ass in the vip room of some club. they haven't seen each other since then but nami still vaguetweets about her and vivi campaings for market regulation just to spite her. she still talks to luffy tho.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

I'm not sure Gojo has ever even shown an interest to any girls.

He calls Utahime weak and teases her by making fun of her, essentially- which she hates. Mei Mei is incredibly strong and beautiful, and Gojo acknowledges her skill but that's it. I also noticed that in the anime (the manga doesn't have honorifics, so please correct me if I'm wrong) but he calls her Mei-san rather than Mei Mei. Therefore, I don't think he ever tried to get much closer to her than the interactions we've seen. When she asks him if he'd comfort her if she cried, he tells her that's she strong- she wouldn't cry. I thought it was interesting that while Mei Mei's question was slightly flirty, Gojo answered so simply, without any teasing.

He calls Shoko by her first name, which is understandable since they spend more time together being in the same grade. He realizes that her ability is rare and useful, but like with Utahime and Mei Mei he doesn't go any further than that. He mostly speaks to her about work related things and doesn't flirt or tease much at all.

Honestly, I think Gojo actually respects his female colleagues and mostly pokes fun at Utahime because she's so uptight and strict. Shoko and Mei Mei are more relaxed and self-assured, and Gojo recognizes their skills and compliments them for it rather than teasing them. I doubt Gojo really thinks Utahime is truly weak more than he just loves riling her up. Other than that, Gojo's pretty respectful.

Also, in the Hidden Inventory arc, Gojo was bombarded with screaming from all the girls excited to see him. Other than pulling his shades down so they could see his face- after they asked him to, btw- he didn't really do much else. He didn't even react much to the teacher giving him her phone number. His only comment was "what a fun school," and it's interesting to see that while lots of girls do appreciate his looks, he acts only mildly amused.

Other than that one model as his wallpaper, we don't really see Gojo flirt or show interest with anyone. He only really teases Utahime to piss her off- I suspect he hates how much she follows the rules like Nanami does, who he teases often as well. He likely just enjoys annoying people so stern because rules just don't sit well with him (especially because of what those "rules" had done to Geto).

It's just a possibility, but he could be one of those guys who's more interested in work than pleasure- I know, he's handsome, but not all handsome people are players and cheaters. I think that's a horrible stigma and a lot of attractive people irl are judged and criticized solely for their looks. People make too many assumptions on someone just based on their genes, and I think it's pretty shallow to think Gojo's a womanizer just because he's attractive. And he knows he's attractive- but when did being confident in yourself make you a philanderer? Gojo has never used his looks manipulatively at all.

It's definitely a possibility that he would be a womanizer, but I'd say it's unlikely based in what we've seen. To sum it all up, Gojo doesn't show interest in anyone. He teases Utahime often, likely for the same reason be teases Nanami- they're too uptight. Shoko and Mei Mei are both incredibly skilled and beautiful sorcerers, and he does acknowledge and compliment them for it, but he doesn't tease or flirt with them. He's respectful, and he works with them as his colleagues. He didn't get distracted by the teen girls fawning over him either, or suddenly get overtly cocky or show off, only sliding his glasses down so they could see his face, and even then he acted only mildly amused. Also, when Miwa asked him for a picture, he didn't even stay and chat with her or anything (I know she's a minor, but if he truly was a womanizer, he would have at least stayed to hear her compliment him or anything to feed his ego) Maybe ask her "Oh, you want a picture with me? The strongest? How cute~" A flirty comment, a joke, something to fuel his own ego, but he doesn't do that. He doesn't act in a way that conveys he openly pursues attention from women. He just takes the picture with her and walks off casually.

Therefore, other than the fact that he's handsome- and I know many people who would assume things about someone based on their attractiveness, which is a terrible stereotype- Gojo doesn't show much interest in flirting at all. He could be the type of guy who works more than plays- and there's plenty of guys who are handsome but aren't super interested in playing around. Being handsome doesn't automatically mean he's the type to sneak around and have affairs here and there. It's completely realistic for a handsome man to be uninterested in any kind of relationships- not all men are sex crazed, and being a tease to his friends doesn't make Gojo a flirt either. Teasing your friends is perfectly normal.

Therefore, Gojo being a 28 year old virgin is totally possible- not everyone's a sex crazed teen who only thinks about what's between their legs, and basing it on what normal Japanese teens do is unfair. Neither Gojo or his lifestyle is exactly normal, and there's definitely barriers when it comes to experiencing normal youth activities for Gojo's generation- especially Gojo's generation. Yuji's generation definitely has more freedom to do fun things because of what Gojo has done to give the youth more freedom- things he hasn't been able to experience himself in his youth, like playing baseball during the exchange event. That was the first time they ever did something different to tradition, and that was only because of Gojo's consideration.

Gojo's youth was filled with blood, exorcising, and choosing between life and death. The deaths Yuji and co. witnessed were what Gojo experienced as well, if not worse. Gojo's task in his youth was to protect the weak, and he found that burdensome. At least, until Geto betrayed them, and Gojo realized the new burden he had to bear in changing the Jujutsu world because of what it had done to his only best friend.

There are definitely more important things in Gojo's mind than just losing his virginity, like saving people and choosing who to save, whether he should kill or not kill.

Gojo is the strongest, but he also bears the biggest burden- and that burden is something he chose to bear, and being the strongest is something he chose to be. Because before Geto left, it was "We are the Strongest." Now, Gojo worked tirelessly so that he could say "I am the Strongest."

And that's not something you can do while sleeping around. I think a lot of people fail to recognize just how hard Gojo works for himself and others. They just think, oh he's the strongest, so it should be easy for him. But it's really, really not that simple, is it? Especially when you have to do it on your own, and even then Gojo realizes that his strength alone isn't enough to save people. He can't save everyone by himself- It's not enough for just him to be the Strongest, so he works diligently to build and inspire his students to stand with him.

He's actually a very deep and emotional man who cares about his students and especially, even now, his best friend. Everything he does is for their sake- he sacrifices the normal life he could have lived, like Nanami had done, for their sake. And he fights with the higher ups, takes the brunt of their ire, and laughs it off, acting as if he fine, like a dad pretending he's superman for his kid's sake. But Gojo is burdened, and he's tired, and he hardly sleeps, and he has the most missions- he's the Strongest, which means everyone needs him, and he bears it.

Sorry for ranting again tho. I think I went into two different topics lol oops- 🤔

OUR SAVIOR 🤔 EDUCATING PEOPLE pay attention ya'll another thing I've noticed in the latest episode is that in his phone contacts he actually writes Utahime's name properly like formally no emojis or teasing shit he actually sees them as his colleagues people he can rely on his field of work and yes about the whole thing when he bursted into riko's class man was absolutely clueless just silent as a teacher tries to give him his number. I'm pretty sure as a child Gojo wasn't allowed to attend public schools due him being in danger or putting others in danger so he doesn't know much about public schools or normal people in general since he spends all his time with people from the jujutsu society.

That is definitely true just because someone is good looking that doesnt mean he's some cheap womanizer. I see a lot of people shipping him and Utahime together which is understandable ship who you like but I don't think Gojo as any ulterior motives like wooing Utahime by teasing her he just is plainly teasing ya know like friends do but in this case Utahime hates his guts and he doesnt know. I mean it takes some amount of hate to try to throw hot tea at someone 😂

While certainly I agree Gojo's teen like wasn't the best it was like he literally had a full time job at that age but who's to stay he didn't go messing around one time? I'm sure during his teen days he wanted to experience things he didnt get to to but now could because he lives on his own now. But maybe he didnt at all who knows? Which also raises another question, I wonder if he has any romantic experiences? And this was all before what happened in the hidden inventory arc after that I can see him more becoming invested in his duty and with what happened with geto as well would of definitely had a huge impact on him to try harder even though hes the strongest so that the next generation wouldn't have to experience the things he went through.

It's really sad if you really think about it what hes been through and what he has to shoulder all while keeping the facade that he's okay, I bet there were times he cursed his powers and his life....but he bears with it anyways because everyone is counting on him....

And don't be sorry at all! I am actually really learning alot about Gojo from you. Please continue to tell us your thoughts and feelings. I don't mind at all ❤ and thank you for taking the time to write 💕