#and the last thing he remembers of ryan is him telling him what happened to his eye. and cass has done no wrong so she's not changed

[nqueso-emergency]

Hey hi hello! The way the cast said goodbye to Callum after last night’s episode really showed the strike difference to how they treated Lou when he left. This plus the way the breakup felt so disconnected from the Bucktommy storyline makes me think that something happened behind the scenes. I don’t know if OS or/and the rest of the cast had an issue with Lou and that’s why he left so suddenly or was it the awful hate that Lou got. But their silence feels almost weird. Oliver never posted a bts photo of him. He barely mentioned Tommy (or God forbid Lou in interviews) Kenny and Ryan who previously have said nice things about Lou were also silent. I know you don’t know, but do you think the BT break up was a last min change due to bts drama. There’s also discourse on twitter about OS not liking to share the fame from Bucktommy with Lou. I honestly don’t know what to think - it all feels just plain weird. And also do you think that if there is btw drama the negative way that the GA reacted to the breakup can possibly bring back Tommy/Lou? Thanks! 🙏🏻

You asked a ton of questions but I'm only saying one thing.

If Lizzie’s interview didn't exist none of this would be an issue. No one would be comparing Callum leaving to Lou leaving. Because, without her interview, there's nothing else to suggest Lou is gone permanently.

Which means that the GA is banking on the idea that Buck and Tommy will find their way to one another again.

And I know people hate how they're referring to Tommy as a drug or addiction to Buck but we need to remember that this show is written for the middle-aged white woman who loves Angela Bassett and/or Peter Krause. So, by them using words like, "craving," "relapse," "jonesing".... they're telling the audience that Buck is struggling way more than they're even showing on screen and that even if he dates someone else, Buck will always be a recovering addict of one Tommy Kinard.

[avocado-frog]

Happy WBW! For Spooky Season, what's something creepy about your world? (Creepy up for interpretation. 🙃)

Hi happy spooky season!!!!! I love halloween so much. I was assigned planner of this month's activities in my friend group. We might be going to spirit halloween + we're seeing the five nights at freddy's movie because my friend alyssa is a nerd about em

I'm using this as an excuse to talk about the dahlia dream world thing because even though it's the biggest part of it and I spent like three weeks doing worldbuilding for, I never talk about it

What I consider the creepiest parts: 1. Chapter 12 of dahlia. Forests in general sorta freak me out as a given and it was based on this one haunted house i went to where the fog machine was on and the only thing i could see were fake bodies in trees wrapped up in bags. And then at the end with fake jaxon dying. and then the part with lily crunching a frozen corpse skull with her foot. 2. Demon Leo. Verryyy based on hellmari from omori and the other mother from coraline. Cracked grey skin + sewn up wide mouth + blacked out eyes just Chasing the kids around. I could write an essay on Leo being Elliot's favorite and still being the only hostile one

The OTHER thing that I have is that Elliot can sorta just. possess people. canonically that's a thing he CAN and HAS done. I like to joke and say it was Dylan who got everyone possessed, but that's because I like to be mean to them (the character I made and chose for them to do what they did) but it was actually Elliot. The 12-year-old child who really likes space and sleeps in the washing machine can possess you.

He probably does it to Sam just because he's the only one who didn't have something bad happen to him in dahlia. That's because Sam doesn't deserve anything bad ever. Leo on the other hand deserved that fall. Let Jaxon out of jail he was allowed to push her. i told him so myself

[1980ssunflower]

SOB SOB......

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2

(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys

the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise

----

61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.

62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.

63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.

64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider

65. mmm crumchy

66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video

67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast

68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!

69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.

70. reverse death note

71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway

72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten

73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus

74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee

75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"

76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences

77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom

78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him

79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors

80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner

81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar

82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you

83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display

84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(

85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?

86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.

87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.

88. guys i think this guy likes to dig

89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!

90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)

91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars

92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay

93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz

94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor

95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.

96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?

97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole

98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶

99. another one bites the dust

100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)

101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory

102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG

103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.

104. pennywise stole my brother's skin

105. it's world war z baby

106. Something Big Is In Space.

107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there

108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.

109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires

110. yeah man those spiders be eating

Part 1 |

[corroded-hellfire]

The Bunny and the Hair - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: All you want is a cute photo of your daughter in her bunny costume and a photo of the whole Munson family together. But nothing is simple when the children of Eddie Munson are involved

Note: Happy Easter! Thank you to my darlings @munson-blurbs and @offensiunculaee for helping me brainstorm ideas when the only thing in my head was Eliza dressed as a bunny 💕

Words: 1.2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

“Aww, come on sweet pea. Give me a smile.”

Your five-month-old daughter does the very opposite of that. It seems that Eliza Munson has somehow perfected the art of giving a piercing glare before mastering sitting up on her own without being a little wobbly. 

The fuzzy white bunny suit she’s in, hood with ears and all, paints the most adorable picture you’ve ever seen. It would be even cuter if she would flash a brief look of glee for a single photo. This Easter is warmer than it’s been in the last few years and it’s easy to understand that she’s getting hot, which is making her cranky. But you just want one good picture. 

“Just one little smile for Mommy? Please?” You raise the small silver camera to your eye before remembering that this new fancy one has a digital screen where you can see what the picture will look like without squinting through a little hole. 

Deciding to start snapping shots and see what happens, your forefinger presses the small shiny button that makes a soft click after click. A giggle bubbles out of you as you notice your baby getting grumpier and grumpier with each shot. A flipbook would be a perfect place to put these photos and flip through them to see Eliza Hulk-out in real time. 

She is getting officially fed up now. 

“Boys?” you ask, glancing over your shoulder to where your husband and sons stand, watching your attempt at an infant photo shoot. “Can you make her smile so I can get one good shot? Then I’ll get her out of that.”

If anything can make Eliza laugh, it’s her brothers. Particularly Luke, he likes to remind people. 

“Sure,” Ryan says, looking around for any prop to assist him. His brown eyes snag on the eggs on the coffee table, the ones you and the boys had been in the middle of preparing to be dyed before Eddie came out with Eliza in all her fluffy glory. “Hey! Liza! Watch this!” He catches the baby’s eye and picks up one of the boiled eggs and jumps up, pretending to crack it over Eddie’s head. It brings a small smile out of your daughter. 

“Hey, hey!” Luke says, waving his arms to attract his little sister’s attention. “Eliza, look!” The younger Munson boy grabs an egg and props one socked foot on the edge of the coffee table to leverage himself up high enough to copy Ryan’s actions.

“Oh, Luke, that one wasn’t–”

Your warning comes too late. The ten-year-old had picked up one of the eggs that had yet to be boiled in preparation for decorating. This comes to light when Luke crushes the egg over his father’s head and runny yolk and gooey egg whites plop down onto Eddie’s hair and drip down his frizzy curls. 

The air feels as if it’s been sucked out of the room. All eyes are on Eddie as his shoulders bunch up towards his ears and his jaw drops open, a small dollop of yellow yolk falling onto his salt-and-pepper scruff. It’s hard to tell how long the room is frozen, silent until—

Furious giggles come from behind you and it breaks the tension that kept the four of you rooted to your spots. You whip your head around to see Eliza laughing so hard that she loses her balance and flops down onto her side, unable to remain sitting up straight on her own. Quickly, you’re able to set her up right again and grab the camera getting a few shots of her, giddy as can be in her bunny suit. 

Relieved that’s taken care of, you now turn back to look back at your husband, who hasn’t moved a muscle. Neither has Luke. 

It’s obvious to you by the look on Eddie’s face that he can tell that it was an accident, but your son is wide-eyed in fear, clearly not getting the same sense. 

“E-Eliza, say bye-bye to Luke cause Dad is gonna kill me,” Luke says softly, never taking his bright blue eyes from his father’s egg-covered form. 

Eddie takes a step towards Luke slowly, clearly wanting to keep Luke in suspense until the last second, before he wipes a large glob of the sticky egg goo from his own hair and rubs it into the little boy’s messy curls. A maniacal laugh erupts from deep within Eddie as he tugs Luke against his chest, not letting his son get away as he squirms and squeals, trying to escape the shared messiness. Despite his protests, when Luke pulls back and looks up at his dad, he’s laughing. 

Watching the two of them in amusement, you put your hands on your hips and shake your head. Never a dull moment with the Munson men. The two of them continue to rub egg on one another as you turn towards the only clean boy in the house.

“Ryan, can you go get Eliza out of her costume? Last thing we need is her overheating.”

“Yeah, you get cranky enough already,” Ryan tells his baby sister as he scoops her up. Eliza gives a little harumph, but you think that’s more from the way the twelve-year-old holds onto her tightly than offense at his words. 

You set the camera down on the coffee table, making sure it isn’t near any of the eggs.

“Damn,” you say. “Forgot to get a family picture.”

“We’ll take one when Ry and Eliza come back out,” Eddie says, dodging Luke’s sticky fingers. 

“That’s gonna look great with you two looking like you fell in a vat of slime,” you say with a laugh. 

Your husband and his mini me only continue to get messier until you hear Ryan’s footsteps coming back down the hall toward the living room. The moment your eyes land on your daughter’s new ensemble, you have to do a double take. Eliza is beaming in her brother’s arms, wearing her bright pink bathing suit covered in large, white polka dots. 

Left speechless, your eyes widen and you’re only able to gesture with your hands towards the swimsuit.

Ryan shrugs as he hefts his sister up on his hip. “She grabbed it when I opened her drawer. And you said you didn't want her overheating.”

Your gaze slides from Eliza, over to Luke and Eddie, then back to Ryan.

“You and I are going to be the ones who stick out in the Easter picture,” you tell your oldest. “We look normal.”

“You mean we don’t look normal?” Luke asks, jumping on his dad’s back and scrunching up the man’s eggy curls. 

Sighing and shaking your head in amusement, you snatch up the camera and fiddle with it until you set the timer for three minutes. The entertainment unit is the perfect height to rest the camera so it can get a good shot of the whole family. You set it on the shelf right above the television and nod your family over toward where the lens is facing.

Eddie, still sporting Luke as a backpack, walks over and stands on your right. Ryan, carrying a still-beaming Eliza tucks into your left side. It’s impossible not to look over the gang around you, letting out a laugh as you take in the chaotic bunch.

“Smile!” Luke instructs everyone.

Eddie slips his hand around your waist and pulls your side flush up against his, squishing some of the egg whites against you, causing you to let out a squeal of laughter just as the flash of the camera goes off. Your husband grins and presses a big wet kiss on your cheek

“Now that picture’s gonna be a keeper,” he says. 

[feeder86]

Selfish

“Why are you arranging to go out with the boys? You know we’re going up to help my parents with redecorating this weekend!” Lucy complained, standing straight up and looking down at Ryan, laid out on the couch.

“We’re doing what?” Ryan asked, completely perplexed. “We were there last weekend!”

“Yeah, and I told my dad you’d give him a hand with the wallpapering this next weekend as well,” Lucy continued in her whining tone.

“Their entire lounge?” Ryan shot back. “Nobody told me!”

“Well…” Lucy mumbled, suddenly realising that Ryan was right. “I’m telling you now.”

Ryan huffed in frustration. He hadn’t had a night out with the boys in months. He’d thought, when he married Lucy, that he was setting himself up for a good life. She didn’t want kids, she wasn’t crazy about him visiting the gym all the time and she was a fully qualified chef! However, two years in and Ryan had never had so little time for himself, endlessly fixing up their apartment just as Lucy wanted it, then constantly heading out to see her parents; always being signed up for some tedious maintenance tasks now that Lucy’s dad was getting on a bit and living off his retirement income. “Fine,” he sighed, deleting his planned message to the group chat with the boys. “I guess I can see my friends when I’ve got a couple of weeks off next month.”

“Oh, yes!” Lucy nodded, making Ryan instantly regret reminding her about his time off. The cogs in her head clearly rolling into action, imagining all of the jobs he could get done in that time.

“Ryan!” cheered his buddies a full nine weeks later, amazed that he had actually made it out. “We haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I’m only here for one of two drinks. I dropped Lucy off in town to do some shopping,” he explained to them, not wanting to get their hopes up.

“You’re not coming to the club?” Adam asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise after giving him the biggest hug.

“No… no. I wish I could, but…” he grumbled, considering the best way to explain how much Lucy was monopolising his time; how frustrating and demanding she had become since they got married. . “...I’ve got commitments,” he simply stated, deciding not to poison his time with his friends by complaining about the person who had kept him away from them for so long. 

“Don’t worry about it, buddy,” Jack jumped in, filling the silent void that was killing the mood. “Life happens.”

“Jack!” Ryan exclaimed, seeing his high school best friend and doing a slight double take. The guy had altered quite a bit since Ryan last saw him. Where had that double chin come from? How was he filling that shirt with all that padding in his stomach? What the hell had happened? “How long has it been, buddy?”

“I saw you at Ginny and Fran’s house warming, about four months ago,” he answered. “I introduced you to my new girlfriend, Michelle.”

“Oh, yeah,” I remember, Ryan nodded, thinking back to how drunk Lucy had been that night, and how early they had had to leave. But Jack hadn’t looked so overweight back then. They’d tried out their friends’ new swimming pool. Jack had been one of the first ones in. He definitely wasn’t out of shape. Not like he appeared to be now.

As luck would have it, when the guys all went to grab seats, Ryan ended up next to Jack, right on the end of a long, rectangular table. Back in their high school days, the pair of them had been the best of friends, and that old rapport immediately came back every time they met; even after months of separation. Jack had always been the bad influence that Ryan’s parents had never approved of. He’d been banned from hanging out with the guy on multiple occasions when he was growing up and, even now, he still felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t, giggling away at the crude jokes that tumbled out of Jack’s mouth with ease. 

“So, things are going well with Michelle?” Ryan asked, spotting that Jack had already referenced her several times in their conversation.

“Things are going great!” Jack beamed. He leaned in a little closer, clearly not wanting the other guys to hear. “We’ve even talked about getting married!”

At this, Ryan’s eyebrows flew up. “Married? After four months?” he whispered back, knowing that Jack didn’t want this broadcasting. He remembered how promiscuous his friend had been during his college days. If Ryan had been asked to pick any one of the guys here who was least likely to ever settle down, he would have chosen Jack without a second thought.

“I know!” Jack beamed, leaning back and placing his hands on the top of his stout little paunch, which jutted out into a proper shelf as they sat down. “I’m so ready for it though,” he smiled, seeming to rub his stomach mindlessly. “I’m actually really excited about the idea.”

Round and round Jack’s hands went, rubbing that tight ball of stomach fat, pulling Ryan’s gaze into it. “I’m happy for you,” he mumbled back.

Jack looked around, checking that no one else was listening in, then he turned himself a little more into Ryan, about to divulge even more private information. “Michelle’s super kinky!” he whispered.

Ryan chuckled and leaned in as well. His own sex life was so monotonous these days, he was actually quite ready to hear about someone else having a good time. “Oh yeah? She certainly looked pretty flexible when I met her that one time,” he grinned, settling into dirty ‘guy talk’ with enthusiasm.

“Oh, buddy!” Jack sighed, rolling his eyes and giving a huge exhale. “You would not believe it. She has me wrapped around her little finger. Absolutely anything she wants, I do for her.”

“That doesn’t sound too dissimilar to me and Lucy,” Ryan quipped, chuckling at his own joke.

“No, I’m not talking about boring shit, like decorating,” Jack shot back, having heard all about Ryan’s grumblings. “I’m talking about really kinky, submissive stuff.”

“Really?” Ryan smirked. “I never thought she’d be the dominant type.”

“No,” Jack agreed enthusiastically. “No one else knows. She hides it really well.”

Ryan had to admit that he was getting a little turned on. “So, what type of stuff does she make you do?” he asked next; his eyes twinkling with boyish interest, just as much as Jack’s were.

“All sorts,” Jack answered, his hands slipping onto his gut again. “When we started going out, I was still trying to act like the playboy I used to be. Michelle was having none of it. She’s put guys like me in their place before. Trust me, I’ve seen the pictures!” he smirked.”But her biggest turn on is making sure I overeat and get bigger.”

“Seriously?” Ryan asked, now understanding why Jack kept on holding his stomach. “I thought girls hated it when guys put on weight?”

“It’s an absolute fucking dream!” Jack replied, lowering his voice even further. Just the fact that he had sworn showed Ryan how turned on his friend was, simply by talking about it. “I get home and she’ll sit me in my gaming chair and set everything up for me. Then she brings me endless snacks and beers; a few sodas, cream cakes. Michelle won’t even let me get up. I do nothing around my apartment at all! No washing, no cleaning and certainly no cooking! She gets off on controlling my entire lifestyle when I’m at home. Then rewarding me for it.”

“Dude, that’s amazing!” Ryan had to agree, feeling surprisingly jealous. He’d been up until almost midnight last night, fixing a new shelf for Lucy’s candles, whilst his buddy Jack had been gaming, eating and getting pleasured the entire time.

“You see why I’m so keen to marry her now?” Jack joked back. “Can you believe it? I’m actually living out our dream that we used to talk about in high school.”

Ryan looked a little perplexed, trying to remember what they used to talk about ten years ago.

In turn, Jack seemed a little surprised that Ryan was struggling to recall. “You remember? Mr Hanson was such a bad gym teacher, we used to joke that we would just find some girls who liked fat guys and never have to put on a pair of itchy gym shorts again.”

“Oh, yeah!” Ryan chuckled. “That worked out well for me,” he sighed sarcastically. “I ended up marrying a professional chef, but I’m now ten pounds lighter than I was when we married.”

“Dude, there are other girls out there,” Jack went on enthusiastically. “Believe me! My eyes have been opened in these last few months! If you want the life that I’ve got…” he proclaimed, rubbing his stomach once more, “trust me, you can have it!”

Ryan nodded. No one else had dared to suggest he thought about a life beyond Lucy. Whenever he raised his concerns or annoyances about their marriage, people were keen to stamp them out, reminding him, in their accusatory tones, that marriage was all about compromising. Now, here was Jack, actively encouraging him to imagine being with someone else instead. It was the reason why Jack was, and always would be, Ryan’s very best friend.

Ryan looked at himself in the mirror a couple of weeks later. It was Sunday night. He should have been well rested, and yet he looked nothing but tired. The dirt under his fingernails from digging up Lucy’s parents’ garden all weekend was still visible in places, despite scrubbing for so long in the shower. His ribs were showing in his chest and, although he was built with plenty of muscle, he’d never looked so lanky and slim in his life. He thought of Jack and his life of pleasure and luxury. This… this tiredness and exhaustion was not what he wanted for himself. He looked almost ill.

Life had to change.

Ryan raised his cell phone to the mirror and took a picture of himself. This would be his lowest point, he decided with determination. From now on, things were going to change. He never wanted to see himself like this ever again.

“What’s all this?” Lucy complained, slipping into Ryan’s truck on their way to the supermarket. She held up several pieces of packaging, wrappers from fast food places and sugary snacks. “Is this what you’ve been eating when you’ve been in work this week?”

Ryan nodded without shame. “I feel like I’m too skinny. I’m trying to put on a few pounds.”

“Since when?” Lucy blasted back indignantly. “I’ve never told you you’re too skinny. I like the way you look.”

“I don’t,” Ryan shrugged. “I’ve never liked being skinny. I was always bigger than this growing up. In fact, I was actually quite chubby when I started high school.”

“Well, no. Sorry,” Lucy stated, without compromise. “I’m your wife, and I say no.”

Ryan looked at her in disbelief. “It’s my body,” he declared. “And I want to feel good about it.”

“I said no!” Lucy spat, brushing all the packaging into the footwell and sitting herself down. “Now, let’s talk about something else.”

Ryan got in, sat down and slammed the door shut, neither of them speaking for the entire ride.

‘Fastest ways to gain weight’ Ryan typed into the internet search that evening after Lucy had gone to bed. He quickly skipped through anything that dealt with muscle gains and focused solely on those that promoted increases in fat. He may have married Lucy, but she didn’t own him. In fact, she was the one who needed to learn that more than anyone. This was one ‘no’ that he wasn’t about to cave into.

“You’re looking well,” cried Ryan’s aunt as he stopped over to fix her leaking tap.

“Thanks,” he smiled back. “I feel quite well,” he agreed. “I’ve been trying to put some weight back on these last few weeks. I was starting to get far too skinny.”

“I was saying that to your mom, but she didn’t agree with me. You had gone dreadfully skinny.”

Ryan nodded in agreement. He had always been much more on his aunt’s wavelength than anyone else in his family. “I found some recipes online and I buy in these little calorie shakes that seem to work well on me. I’ve put on about 20lbs altogether,” he explained, raising his shirt briefly to show that his stomach was indeed a little thicker. “Lucy isn’t too pleased about it. But she’s never happy these days.”

“Well, you were never skinny growing up, were you?” his aunt nodded. “You always had a sweet tooth, I remember. You used to eat me out of house and home when you came over!”

“That’s why I’m so tall,” Ryan laughed. “I was always so well fed growing up.”

The pair of them laughed and Ryan packed up his things. In the old days, he would have headed straight home to his wife, but now he was feeling the need to be much more selfish, heading istead to the fast food place he had grown quite attached to and determined that he would at last defeat the Mega Monster Meal that had, up until now, eluded him.

“Come on, we’ve got to go!” Lucy complained, checking the time as Ryan rushed about after his shower. He’d been late home, getting caught up at a job, sending his wife into a tailspin as she tried to get him ready for her friend’s engagement party. She’d laid his suit out on the bed, his underwear, shoes and socks; knowing exactly how she wanted him to look.

Ryan hated being rushed. So what if they missed the first twenty minutes? Was the world really going to end? It was the side of Lucy he hated most, struggling to pull his socks on as his feet were still so wet.

“Oh,” Ryan mumbled, sucking in his stomach and trying to button up the suit pants. He tugged and pulled, holding his breath as much as he could. “I’m too big for them!” he chuckled with amusement, remembering that he had bought the suit for a wedding less than a year ago, when he was much skinnier. “What a waste of money, these were!” he joked lightheartedly. “I only got to wear them once!”

Lucy stared on in horror. She’d told him again and again to cut down on his eating. Couldn’t he see how bad he looked? Wasn’t he ashamed of how his stomach was starting to develop into a little paunch.

“Relax,” he whispered back, trying to calm her down. “I’ll just pair the jacket with my jeans and then we can head straight out.”

However, Lucy’s face had flushed with anger. “No,” she declared, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “I’m going by myself. I’m not being seen with you, looking like this.”

Ryan stared at her in disbelief. He didn’t have words, listening as she stormed down the stairs and threw the front door closed. He heard her car start and he peeked out the window as that too stormed off down the street; out of view. 

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Ryan threw himself down onto the bed; still dressed only in his underwear and socks. How had he married someone so fucking unreasonable? She was just so… 

But then a thought came to Ryan, making his brain tingle into life. Had he actually just been given the night to himself? The whole house? Just him? All evening?

He looked down at his thicker stomach and smiled with delight at it. “Thank you!” he laughed aloud, managing to pinch a little and jiggle it in happiness. He felt a twitch in his groin, realising that with the night to himself, he could watch porn or do anything that he wanted. He could order food in. Lots of it! “Yes!”, he nodded, getting more excited and turned on now. This was his night. Free reign to be as selfish as he liked.

Ryan proceeded to indulge himself in every way possible, looking down at his bloated stomach a couple of hours later. Maybe this was it, he thought to himself. Maybe this was the way out of his miserable life with Lucy. He could seize upon her dislike of his weight gain and run with it. Why stop? He’d certainly gone beyond the point of denying himself for the sake of her ideals. There was a path in front of him, the exit sign shining brightly and a new life within his reach. He just needed to have the courage to reach for it.

“A Saturday night to yourself?” Jack laughed, surprised that Ryan had actually followed up on his promises and made it out for a drink. “You must have been a very good boy!” he teased.

Ryan hugged his friend and stood back to admire him slightly. Jack had grown wider since he’d seen him last, his hips and love handles spreading. Teh guy’s face was bigger, cheeks blooming large. And underneath his t-shirt, Ryan could see that the man’s nipples had become pointed, pressing outwards from his puffy former pecs. “I can see that you’ve been having a very good time of things!” he joked, being in the know about how Jack’s kinky sex life worked with his girlfriend.

“I could say the same about you!” Jack smirked back, poking Ryan in his tight little paunch. “Have you and Lucy been having your own kinky fun?” he teased.

“We’re not really talking at the moment, dude,” Ryan explained straight away; keen that he didn’t have to spend the entire night talking about her. “I want out. I’ve reached the end.”

Jack winced sympathetically. “I can’t say that I’m all that surprised after the way you were talking last time. But that still doesn’t explain this,” he pointed back at Ryan’s middle, smirking.

Ryan laughed, having forgottem how quickly Jack could lift his spirits with his cheeky humour. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied coyly, smiling with just as much mischief.

“Yes you do!” Jack laughed back, patting Ryan’s paunch properly now. “Did you do it on purpose? Is this to piss Lucy off?”

Again, Ryan laughed. He shruged his shoulders. “Yeah,” he nodded in surprise at Jack’s bluntness. There wasn’t anyone else in the world he could imagine himself admitting this to. “I guess I did,” he smiled, resting his hand over his thicker middle like it was his new prized pet.

“Dude, that’s so awesome!” Jack blasted; his face lighting up with all the enthusiasm Ryan remembered when the pair of them used to get up to mischief in high school. “You love it, don’t you?”

Ryan felt like he was dealing with an excitable puppy, but the interest was infectious. “Well, I can’t say I’m against it,” he replied diplomatically.

“Michelle is going to love this when I tell her,” Jack pressed on, ordering them both a couple of beers. “She said at the pool party that you would make a good fatty.”

“She did?” Ryan asked, surprised that Michelle would talk about other guys in that way.

“Absolutely,” Jack nodded. “She said you’re like me; a similar build; perfect for fattening up, apparently.”

“She really is a kinky one, your Michelle, isn’t she?” Ryan chuckled, feeling strangely aroused by the idea of her talking about him like this.

“How far are you planning on taking it?” Jack pressed him.

“The weight gain? Um, well. I’m not really thinking about anything really. I’m just having some fun,” he answered honestly.

“Dude, if you’re ever going to grow a gut in your lifetime, getting a divorce is one of them.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ryan asked, only half listening now as he tried to work out why there was so much blood pumping into his groin.

“A divorce is like a free pass for so many things. No one will bat an eyelid if you start getting properly fat once you two separate.”

“Well, we’re not quite there yet,” Ryan backtracked, wincing slightly as the word ‘divorce’ came up so casually in their conversation. Lucy hadn’t mentioned it to him yet, and neither had he to her. 

“Just imagine it though,” Jack encouraged him. “You, sitting in your own apartment somewhere, drinking as much beer and eating as much pizza as you want after work. No Lucy complaining in the background and telling you off. No massive list of jobs to be completed at the weekend.”

“That does sound pretty sweet,” Ryan admitted; his dick now inexplicably full of blood.

“I just can’t wait to tell Michelle,” Jack said again, more delighted than ever as the pair of them settled in to watch the football game on the big screen.

The realities of splitting from his wife were somewhat different from the fantasies that Jack tried to portray, Ryan soon realised. Divorce was quickly turning into the most expensive thing he had ever done. Lucy’s parents, who had been too impoverished to hire a gardener, or a decorator, or a maintenance guy the entire time he had been married to Lucy, suddenly stumped up the cash to pay for the most cut-throat, killer lawyer for their daughter. With his head in his hands, Ryan soon realised that he was going to have to start from scratch: no home, no pensions, not even his truck for work. The only place that he could afford to live was a room in an apartment downtown, sharing with two students from the local college. Twenty nine years old and here he was, right back at the starting line.

Of the two guys he now lived with, Ryan didn’t see much of Paul, the computer science major. He was often out in the library, or hiding out in his bedroom. That worked fine. With his life turned so upside down, Ryan wasn’t exactly wanting to be dragged out to parties midweek when he had work the next morning. No, the only real pain in Ryan’s ass was Ash; the smart-mouthed literature student with a carefree attitude to life that frustrated Ryan to no end.

“You know, when you get a real job, you’re not going to be able to sit up until 3am watching a movie marathon with your waste of space boyfriend,” he complained at the guy one evening, tired from an exhausting day in work, having been constantly woken by the pair of young lovers laughing so hard at the screen.

“Fine. Whatever,” Ash huffed. “I’ve had a stressful day, okay. I don’t need this.”

“Stressful?” Ryan parroted, feeling the rage bubbling up inside him. “You want to know about stress?” he growled. “You’ve been sitting inside all day typing up an assignment on a computer screen. That’s not what real stress looks like. You’re in college - you have absolutely no idea about the real world; about trying to actually earn a living!”

Ash rolled his eyes. He’d heard it all before. 

Sure, Lucy knew how to press Ryan’s buttons, but this boy was on a whole other level. “You graduate with your masters in nine months!” he blasted. “What the hell do you expect to do then? You’ve got no idea, have you? How can you just wander so aimlessly through life?”

“What does it matter?” Ash sighed. “Things always work out in the end.”

“It matters because, trust me, your twenties will be over in a flash and you need to start getting somewhere in life. Not just watching movies until 3am! And certainly not with someone like Ben! You’re just setting yourself up for failure, and it pisses me off!”

“Like you, you mean?” Ash shot back, visibly annoyed. “You’ve done the whole marriage thing, the house, the cars. Yet, you're back here, sharing a shitty apartment with a couple of students. You did everything right, everything the grown-ups told you, and now look at you! Sometimes life is just like that. So stop taking out your frustrations on me and start focusing on yourself instead!”

Ryan didn’t respond. He stormed off to his room and threw himself onto the bed. Then he took a few breaths and considered what Ash had actually said to him. The guy had been right: he was taking his anger out on him. Ash was young, more academically bright than Ryan had ever been, good looking and full of personality. He had his whole life in front of him without any major mistakes under his belt yet. So why did Ryan feel the need to be such an asshole to him?

Despite not officially apologising, Ryan did make an effort to be nicer to Ash over the coming days. He still didn’t care for Ben, the guy's boyfriend, feeling that Ash could do much better. But he was polite and courteous, never failing to put in his earplugs when he knew they were going to be watching TV until late.

Ryan’s weight had not been a priority for him since he’d moved in. Any erotic fantasies he’d indulged himself in last year were thoroughly dampened by the divorce. Yet, his weight continued to climb, spurred on by the cheap, high carbohydrate diet he fell into whilst living in the apartment.

When he was with Lucy, Ryan had indulged himself in sugary treats and even high calorie supplements that he would now consider an eyewatering drain on his monthly budget. He was having to to work harder than ever to bring in the money and his paunch seemed to lose that fluffy softness of his early gains, solidifying into something firmer and more rounded as it continued to push itself out from under his chest.

New clothes were also a luxury that Ryan could ill-afford. His t-shirts fitted awkwardly around the swell of his stomach and there were many times in work when he felt a cool breeze on his butt crack. Beer was the only luxury he allowed himself in those early days, especially on the weekends, when Paul usually went back to visit his family and Ash was generally out partying with his boyfriend. In those few, blissful hours, he could guzzle down his beers whilst sitting in his underwear in front of the shared TV screen, appreciating exactly why he had given up his marriage. Life was hard, but it wasn’t always awful.

Through word of mouth, Ryan had started picking up more work on some of the other rental properties for students that littered this area of town. Desperate for the work, Ryan had been undercutting people quite dramatically in order to guarantee an income for himself. However, trying to get an early start on these types of properties was never as easy. Students were inherently lazy, he decided, whilst banging on the door of one apartment, trying to get someone to let him in. After a full five minutes, a groggy looking guy crawled to the door wearing only his underwear and a t-shirt that was back to front.

“Your landlord sent me to see your air con,” Ryan eventually explained.

Without a word, the exhausted guy simply opened the door further and let Ryan get by. “You’re not going to be noisy are you?” he eventually asked. “My boyfriend is still asleep.”

Ryan looked at his watch. It was almost 10.30 in the morning. Why would anyone still be asleep now?

“It’s okay. I’m getting up anyway,” yawned another guy, waddling sleepily from the bedroom and giving his boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek. It was only then that Ryan clocked him. It was Ben, Ash’s obviously cheating boyfriend; the guy’s face suddenly looking considerably more alert as he too recognised Ryan.

“You’re not going to tell Ash, are you?” Ben shouted, having followed Ryan out of the apartment the second he had finished up; safely out of earshot of his second boyfriend.

“Of course I am,” Ryan replied simply, continuing to walk away, without stopping.

“You’re just going to make him miserable,” the guy shot back. “Is that what you want?”

At this, Ryan laughed. Guilty people always seemed to have such a terrific way of turning things back around on the other person. “Trust me,” he sniggered. “He’ll be way better off without someone like you in his life.”

“Do you think it was easy for me with Ash?” Ben started next; his tone shifting to something nastier. “It’s not exactly easy trying to feel special when your boyfriend has a massive crush on the pot-bellied daddy bear he shares an apartment with. How do you think that made me feel?”

“What are you even talking about?” Ryan laughed, surprised at how far Ben was going with his bullshit. A daddy bear? He was only six years older than Ash.

“Oh, come on. You know exactly what you’re doing,” Ben snapped back, getting more viscious as he realised that Ryan wasn’t willing to compromise with him. “You’re always there, or strutting about in just your underwear, drinking your beers in the living area and being overly friendly. You’ve been trying to fuck things up for the two of us for ages.”

Now Ryan did stop, turning to face Ben properly. “What planet are you living on?” he asked, completely flabbergasted. “I just try to be pleasant. I’m not trying to do anything.”

“Prove it then,” Ben shot back, seizing upon an opportunity. “If you’re really not trying to fuck things up between us, you’ll let this one little indiscretion slide.”

If Ryan hadn’t just had the hardest year of his life, dealing with some of the most despicable, bullying lawyers out there, he may have fallen for Ben’s game. As it was, he wasn’t afraid of standing his ground. “Tell him by the time I get home later. Or I will.”

Ryan crept into the apartment later that evening, finding Paul in the kitchen. “You missed some drama today,” he sighed. “Ash and Ben broke up. I walked in on it all before. It was so awkward.”

“Is Ash okay?” Ryan asked, relieved that Ben had listened to his ultimatum and done the deed himself.

“He’s in his room,” Paul nodded over to the bedroom door. “We’d best leave him be.”

Ryan nodded in complete agreement, deciding to hide out in his room that evening so that Ash didn’t need to see anyone when he would inevitably have to come out for a glass of water, or to use the bathroom.

The evening was slipping away and Ryan had just finished a TV series that he had been charging through for the last two weeks. There was still an hour until he would need to get to sleep; enough time for one last beer, before the inevitable daily grind would start all over again. He strutted out of his bedroom and made for the refrigerator, pausing only briefly to crack the can open and chug a little of it. He burped quietly, finding that the first few mouthfuls of fresh beer always made him the most gassy. Then, suddenly, he heard the door to Ash’s room opening and he stood there, feeling completely caught out.

“Hi,” Ash whispered, not making any pretenses that he was here for any other reason than to see Ryan.

Feeling incredibly awkward, Ryan now regretted coming out of his room without a shirt on; his bloated pot belly on full display. Before today, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but Ben’s words had planted an unpleasant seed in his mind that made him question everything he did a little bit more. “I’m sorry to hear about Ben,” he stated straight away. “How are you doing?”

Ash sighed and began to pour his heart out. He knew all about Ryan’s discovery earlier that day and he thanked the guy for doing the right thing.

“I’m just looking out for you,” Ryan nodded, swigging the last of his beer and crushing the can for recycling. He shouldn’t have really had another one. His stomach felt quite painfully bloated and tight after it.

“Oh, and about those things that Ben said to you,” Ash quickly jumped in, seeing that Ryan was heading back to his room. “I hope it’s not going to make things awkward between us.”

Ryan had to think for a second about what Ash was getting at. The crush? Was Ben actually telling the truth about that? “Um, no. Not at all,” he mumbled back, rubbing his hair with a little embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it,” he smiled, finally making his escape.

An evening out with Jack was exactly what Ryan needed a couple of weekends later, as Ryan’s divorce was at last finalised. Unlike Ryan’s months of hell, Jack’s appearance was symbolic of a life of sheer indulgence and pleasure. Unlike Ryan, his body was pure softness, with blubber beginning to creep its way into the guy’s neck and upper arms. His stomach had swollen quite considerably and his butt had a surprising width to it that Ryan had not expected.

“Listen, I didn’t want to message you about this. I kind of feel pretty bad asking you in some ways, knowing what you’re going through,” Jack started after Ryan had finished explaining how the divorce had eventually played out. “I wanted you to be my best man.”

Ryan smiled brightly. “Of course I will,” he beamed, getting up to hug his old friend warmly as he stayed sitting in his chair.

“Thanks,” Jack smiled. “It’s not going to be a huge wedding. Not everyone approves,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“How do you mean?” Ryan asked, sensing that Jack needed to offload.

“Well, Michelle’s parents aren’t coming,” he huffed. “They’d watched Michelle do this to her old boyfriend,” he explained, rubbing the quite substantial shelf of belly fat under his sagging nipples. “So when the same thing started happening to me, they told her they wanted no part in it.”

“Bonus!” Ryan joked, trying to remain upbeat. “My marriage certainly would have gone a lot smoother without the in-laws.”

Jack nodded, seeming to be somewhat in agreement. “Michelle’s not too cut up about it,” he whispered. “Then, well, you remember my dad. He still goes out running three times a week. So he’s not been all that in favour of Michelle and her wholesome home cooking..”

“You can’t live your life for your parents,” Ryan jumped in. It was a lesson he had learned somewhat bitterly when his own church-goin parents had taken Lucy’s side in the divorce. It made him think back to how much they had pushed him to get married in the first place, and he began to resent them, quite justifiably in his opinion.

“I know, I know…” Jack nodded. “And I wouldn’t change a thing. She’s it for me, y’know?”

Ryan raised his beer and they drank to that sentiment.

“What about you?” Jack asked next. “Is there someone new you’ve been holding back from me?”

Ryan shook his head. “No, not at all,” he stated. “Well… I mean…” he hesitated for a moment. “No. No one.”

But Jack’s interest had already been piqued. “Oh, come on. You can’t give me that and then say nothing!” he teased.

Ryan sighed, realising that he had dug himself into a bit of a hole. “It’s nothing,” he huffed at his own stupidity. “It’s just, one of the guys I live with has a bit of a crush on me.”

“Your first chubby chaser!” Jack laughed wickedly.

“Well…” Ryan conceded. “It looks that way, yes. His ex-boyfriend told me off for strutting around the place in just my underwear. He said I had a pot-belly and told me his boyfriend thinks of me as a hot daddy bear!”

Jack chuckled again. “Well, he’s not wrong. You do have quite the pot-belly!”

“Isn’t it a bit weird though?” Ryan asked his friend.

“Being referred to as a daddy bear when you’re only twenty nine?” Jack asked, simultaneously nodding in agreement. “But once you put on a bit of extra meat, that’s just the way people see you. It’s much more arousing to lean into it, rather than try to fight it.”

“Lean into it?” Ryan asked. “That’s your best advice?”

“Just enjoy the attention,” Jack smirked. “So what if he’s a twenty-four year old gay guy? You don’t have to be into someone to appreciate their admiration,” he nodded knowingly. “Trust me on this one. You’ll come to see that I’m right.”

With the divorce at last over with and all lawyers paid off, Ryan began to feel the financial strain starting to ease. Lucy hadn’t been quite as successful in getting all that she wanted from him. The worst case scenario was, thankfully, avoided. A few more months of living with the boys and Ryan would soon have saved enough money to rent his own place instead. With the ties that bound him to his ex-wife now finally disappearing, Ryan began to remember why he had fought so long for this freedom.

“I’ll have the Monster Meat bucket,” he declared, walking into a fast food place and not feeling guilty about the cost for the first time in months. He sucked in the smell of all the greasy goodness and knew that this was a freedom he would never again take for granted. Now he could gorge on as much as he desired and never have to explain himself to anyone. He could literally get as fat as he wanted now he was divorced and single, with no one to please but himself.

As he settled down into a seat, Ryan felt the bliss of devoting all his attention just to his epic meal for a full 20 minutes. It was all the stress relief he had ever needed. No one in here was particularly slim and it seemed, in those moments, that he had taken himself out of a world that so frustrated him, and into one that he felt comfortable in. Sure, he could probably join a gym and drop this weight in a relatively short amount of time. He could train his body hard and attract some beautiful girl to make his ex jealous. But Ryan knew that he had moved beyond that now. He didn’t care what his ex thought of him, or anyone else for that matter.

Or was Ryan just kidding himself? Was this really a moment of clarity? Or would he soon go crawling back to a diet plan the second things started getting rough? He was desperate to believe that wouldn’t be the case, but no one could ever be totally certain when it came to the future. It was only the present he could master. And so, armed with that knowledge, he went back to the counter, even though he felt almost too stuffed to even think about food.

“I’ll have the triple burger, please,” he stated, adding another milkshake to go with it. “He felt his hardess start to tingle, like the old days when he used to do this. Back then, he’d assumed it to be some twisted excitement about pissing Lucy off. Now he realised that this was so much more. This was about taking himself to somewhere he had never allowed himself to imagine going..

“Is this for you?” Ash asked, handing Ryan two boxes of pizza. “The delivery guy was coming up the stairs as I got home.”

“About time!” Ryan sighed, taking the boxes from him and settling back into the chair in front of the sofa. Two pizzas were a necessity for the Friday night baseball game and he was already four beers down. It would have been a perfect night but for the sticky humidity that had loomed over the city for the last few days; making him strip to his boxers as soon as he got home. “Do you follow baseball?” he asked Ash politely, nodding to the couch to see if he wanted to join him; knowing that, with Paul gone for the weekend, Ash would be on his own otherwise.

“No. Watching sports is not really my thing,” Ash replied unenthusiastically, despite continuing to linger around.

“Do you mind getting me another beer then?” Ryan asked,deciding to put the guy to work if he was so free to just stand about like this. 

Ash hopped to his task with remarkable speed. “Here you go,” he smiled delightedly, heading straight over and handing it over to him, not seeming to realise that he was blcoking part of the TV screen. “I’ve got some chips and dip if you want some?” he asked next.

“Sure,” Ryan nodded, hoping that the guy would at least sit down then and stop getting in the way.

Once again, Ash went to his task, presenting the chips and dip much better than Ryan ever would have. He placed them on the coffee table and then finally sat himself down on the couch. 

“You not having any?” Ryan asked five minutes later, noticing that it was only him actually eating.

“No, thanks,” Ash simply replied, pretending to be interested in the game. “They’re for you. Do you want another beer?”

Ryan felt the remaining liquid in his beer can and nodded, surprised by how diligently he was being looked after. Even when he asked Ash to fetch him the ice cream from the freezer later on, he was surprised that the young guy hopped to it, bouncing off the couch with an enthusiasm he had never seen before.

At the end of the game, Ryan took himself to the bathroom to relieve himself after the seven cans of beer he had ended up consuming. He looked in the mirror and marveled at the reflection he saw within it. Bloated and stuffed, Ryan had never seen his stomach looking so round and tight. Although he had upgraded his underwear a little while back, already these were looking worn and stretched, pulling the waistband down so that a good couple of inches of butt crack were on show. His muscular chest had started to build up with fleshiness in recent weeks and he placed his hand there to feel just how soft it was starting to get under his arms. He pulled the scales out with his foot and wondered just how much he weighed in this overfed state. He stepped on, waiting for the numbers to settle: 256lbs; the biggest number he had ever seen by quite some margin. It was, quite frankly, the cause of an almost instantaneous erection.

“I was wondering, if you’re still hungry, I could make you some pancakes?” Ash asked next as Ryan finally made it out of the bathroom. “I’ve got all the ingredients in.”

Ryan sat himself back down with a grunt and rubbed the shelf of his tight stomach, surprised that Ash was still hanging about the living area. Couldn’t he see how full Ryan was? Was he completely obvious to the heavy breathing and occasional grunt when he had to move, even slightly. He knew that the guy had a little crush, but what on earth was he possibly getting out of all this?

“Go on,” Ash pressed, actually trying to persuade him now. “Just a couple of them; nothing too big.”

Ryan looked up at the guy, already making his way to the kitchen and just waiting for that final nod of approval from him. Out of little more than curiosity, he agreed; watching with interest as he spied Ash settling to his task. Was he really using that much oil to fry the batter mix up? Was he actually rubbing butter into them? Did he really need to pour on that much syrup?

Despite tasting amazing, Ryan knew that every mouthful he was taking was completely and utterly packed full of calories and fat. As if desperate for his approval, Ash had watched him consume every bite of them. A sweat had begun to pour off Ryan’s forehead, but he wasn’t entirely sure that this one was caused by the humidity. “I am absolutely stuffed!” Ryan declared, grunting and rubbing the stretched out ball of stomach fat. “I haven’t eaten this much in ages,” he chuckled. “Not since I was trying to piss off my ex-wife after she told me she liked me being skinny.” “You were putting on weight on purpose?” Ash asked, quite startled by the comment.

“I was going for it, like you wouldn’t believe!” Ryan nodded. “Unless you’ve been through it, it’s hard to comprehend how petty you can be towards the end of a bad marriage,” he grinned, suddenly noticing that his hands were all over his own rounded stomach. “I was even taking this special calorie supplement shake you can buy, just to speed things up,” he laughed, thinking back.

“Oh!” Ash exclaimed knowledgeably, suddenly naming the exact brand .

They both went quiet. What a strange piece of trivia for Ash to just know, thought Ryan. The guy seemed to sense that too, suddenly looking a little sheepish. 

“Do you still take them?” Ash asked next, trying to look a little less interested than his excitable voice made him sound.

“I don’t need to,” Ryan grinned, tapping his fully grown pot belly. I just weighed myself twenty minutes ago. I’ve put on another 40lbs since I moved in here. It seems that I just can’t stop these days!” He yawned, standing up and stretching. “Anyway, buddy. I need to head to sleep,” he declared, seizing upon the fact that his erection from the overeating had at last subsided.

“Do you think there is a way to tell if someone is like your Michelle?” Ryan asked the next time he caught up with Jack at the very hastily organised stag party.

“How do you mean?” Jack asked, only a little worse for wear as he and Ryan gradually fell to the back of the crowd of friends taking them to the next bar.

“You know… Someone who is into the idea of helping someone else gain weight,” Ryan explained, trying to keep his voice fairly low.

Jack chuckled. “Oh, trust me, you’ll spot them!” he nodded. They’re not exactly subtle. “They’ll find ways to ensure you’re eating and they’ll probably want to watch too. If they’re anything like Michelle, they’ll probably try to keep your activity levels low and complement you at the weirdest times; like when you’re bloated from overeating.”

Ryan nodded, taking it all in and finding a striking resemblences to Ash’s more recent behaviours. “Anything else?” he asked.

Jack considered for a moment. “The compliments,” he added next. “They’re totally bizarre. If they’re praising you for overeating, that’s a pretty sure sign. But sometimes they may try to convince you that you look better, or more masculine, or whatever it is they think you want to hear. When the reality is, you just look fat.”

Again, Ryan nodded, keen to match Jack’s thoughts to his own observations of Ash. “You see, I think I might have…”

“Come on!” shouted their drunk friends up ahead. “The night is still young. Stop waddling behind and get your big butts up here!”

Jack and Ryan smirked at each other. Despite Jack’s rather considerable extra weight, Ryan had been lumbered in exactly the same category. The pair of them were, for better or worse, the fat guys on this trip.

“You’re back!” Ash smiled late the next day as an exhausted Ryan made it home. “Did you have a nice time? Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat?”

Ryan looked again at the time. “You’re still up!” he asked with surprise, knowing that Ash always had an early class on Monday mornings.

“Well, I wanted to check that you got home okay,”Ash replied, heading to the kitchen and renewing his offer to make something for his roommate.

Smirking at the fact that he was being fussed over and mothered by a good-looking twenty-four year old, Ryan had been disappointed that he hadn’t had more alone time to discuss this situation he was in, with his buddy, Jack. “Okay,” he nodded, deciding to just let Ash do his thing. “Sure, that would be nice.” He headed for a shower, returning to find an enormous, steaming hot lasagne, glistening with grease and cheese, sitting there on a plate, ready to be eaten. “Did you make this from scratch?” he asked Ash.

Ash nodded. “I remembered you saying that lasagne used to be your favourite dish growing up. I’ve never made it before, but I made a whole bunch of them and portioned them up in the refrigerator for when you get hungry.

Ryan smiled at the effort Ash had clearly gone to for him; a whole new level of care and attention. He opened his mouth to try some and nodded in approval. The lasagne really was delicious, although it was more than obvious just how much oil, cream and several different types of cheeses had gone into it to make it really quite extremely high in calories. If all the beer and fast food hadn’t ensured his pants would be tighter tomorrow, this little calorie bomb sure would.

“How was the weekend, anyway?” Ash asked, sticking around for the show and watching Ryan devour every bite.

“Pretty good,” Ryan nodded. “I had a couple of jibes from some of my old school friends about my weight. But we all turn thirty this year, so the dad-bod is definitely where most of them are at now anyway. I’m just the one who has already graduated from that stage,” he winked at Ash, tapping his gut.

“What did they say?” Ash asked with surprising interest, placing a cushion over his crotch.

“Oh, you know,” Ryan went on, deciding to play up to whatever kinky fantasies he thought his roomate may be having. “Just pointing stuff out to me: telling me how tight my clothes are, how slow I was when we were walking to different places and calling me out on how much I was eating when we went for food.”

“They’re probably just jealous,” Ash shot back straight away.

Ryan smirked. There was no way any of the guys were in the least bit jealous of his sprouting pot belly, making him all but invisible to the many hot girls they bumped into that weekend. This was clearly just another one of those bizarre compliments that Jack had told him to look out for. “Yeah, you’re right,” he lied to Ash, rubbing his bloating gut as he chugged down a few of the sodas Ash had supplied with his late night meal. “I’m sure they are jealous, deep down.”

Stepping on the scale was not something that Ryan did all that often. He could feel his stomach’s rounded shape starting to swell even larger, and he knew, from the fit of his underwear and pants, that his thighs and butt were also bearing the brunt of all that he was consuming each day. Still, as he stepped up, early one Sunday morning, after a particularly gluttonous take-out weekend of having the apartment to himself, Ryan’s eyes widened in shock: 278lbs! “Fuck!” he blasted in shock, before laughing to himself at how fast the latest few pounds had slipped on. He really weighed that much? He didn’t feel that heavy! He strolled over to the mirror inspecting his shape. Sure, his gut was pretty well developed by now and all the extra eating had sure softened his chest up rather a lot. He spun, noting that his butt’s width was quite considerable now, with back fat bulding at his sides and folding under his shoulder blades. Yet, he still didn’t feel like he should weigh 278lbs! Somehow, he had always imagined a guy that size being much bigger than this. What Ryan actually felt as he saw himself there, was very small still; acting as a licence for him to continue to indulge.

Jack’s wedding was fast approaching as the weeks rolled by. After being fitted for their suits, Ryan and Jack headed out for something to eat.

“That tailor seemed pretty pissed off that we left it this late to get ourselves measured for the wedding outfits,” Ryan noted as they sat down and grabbed the menus. “I guess we’ll have to cross our fingers that they can get those pants in for you in time.”

“It’ll be fine,” Jack shrugged. “I put on weight every week, so there would have been no point in going any earlier. I would just have outgrown them. “I’m almost 350lbs these days.”

Ryan nodded. Jack did indeed look impressively large, yet he was only 60lbs or so bigger than he was. And Ryan still felt tiny in comparison. “I know what you mean,” Ryan agreed. “I split some pants the other day. I’d only bought them four weeks before.”

“It’s weird, isnt it. When you’re gaining weight, you’re so tuned into how your body feels and looks. Yet, at the same time, you’re completely oblivious to it as well; how tight your clothes are getting, or how large you seem to other people.”

Ryan nodded enthusiastically. He felt so glad that Jack noticed this as well, sparking a lively conversation between the pair.

“You’ll be getting your own place soon, I take it?” Jack asked. “The two students you're sharing with must be graduating soon?”

“A couple of months,” Ryan nodded, suddenly realising that he had been a little lazy in his hunt for a new apartment. 

“That’ll be nice!” Jack smiled. “Your own space at last!”

“Well, it’s not too bad as it is,” Ryan explained. “Paul is never there at weekends. And now he’s got himself a girlfriend, he’s not there much in the week either.”

“And what about the other one? The one you used to fight with loads?”

“Yeah, he’s there a lot, but… we don’t argue so much these days,” he admitted; suddenly feeling the desire to say so much more about kinky little Ash.

“Before I foget,” Jack jumped in. “Michelle wants to know who you’re bringing as your ‘plus one’ to the wedding next week.

“I’ve got a ‘plus one’?” Ryan asked, genuinely surprised.

“Dude!” Jack grumbled. “Seriously?”

“I’ll find someone,” Ryan replied hastily, seeing how stressed Jack was getting.

“What about that girl you were hinting at when we briefly chatted during my stag party?” Jack asked, clearly keen to get a name locked in.

Ryan thought for a moment. Had Jack assumed he had some potential hot chubby chaser girl on the go? He pondered the idea, realising, quite suddenly, that he didn’t really need one. In the most unexpected way, everything that he had yearned for in life had already arrived. “Hey, Jack,” he asked thoughtfully. “How did you know that Michelle was the one for you?”

“She’s gorgeous,” Jack shot back with a sly grin.

“Besides that,” Ryan insisted. “How did you know that you guys were meant to be together?”

Jack sighed. “I guess…” he began softly, “...it was the way she made me feel: so loved and cared for; admired and adored. I’ve never felt that from anyone before.” He seemed moved, just by talking about her. “Plus she dominated me and forced me to pack on over 150lbs of pure fat; which is one of the kinkiest fucking things I could ever have imagined!” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Ryan laughed and nodded. He made a crack about how much fatter Jack might be after he got home from his honeymoon, but, really, his mind was elsewhere; with someone else entirely.

Ryan arrived home to see a large crate of beers resting on the kitchen counter tied up with a ginormous red bow. He laughed, seeing that it was his favourite brand and noticing that a large tray of assorted doughnuts lay beside it.

“Do you like your present?” Ash asked, coming out of his bedroom with a huge smile on his face.

“You bought these for me?” Ryan asked, feeling his mouth watering at the sight of the doughnuts, even after how much he had eaten with Jack that afternoon.

As if psychically linked, Ash began unpackaging the doughnuts for him, leaving them open for him to stuff one into his mouth. “They’re to say thank you. I just had my novel manuscript accepted for publishing.”

Ryan nearly spat out his doughnut. “You’ve been writing a novel?” he blasted in shock. “Since when?”

“Since you kept reminding me that I need to do something with my life; back when you first moved in.”

“I was being an asshole,” Ryan confessed. “I didn’t mean to make you feel…”

“You gave me the kick up the ass that I needed,” Ash threw back with a smile. “You always told me how clever I was and that I could do anything.”

“You’re an amazing person,” Ryan marvelled. “In fact, you’re the best person I’ve ever met in my life!” For weeks now, he had worried that his behavious around Ash, indulging his little feeder tendencies in subtle ways, had only brought the guy to fetishize him. Their relationship was merely one of a simple exchange: Ryan would enjoy being overfed and catered for by his roommate, and Ash would get to enjoy the subtle art of ensuring a guy that he found attractive, continued to pile on a few pounds. Now, however, every sense felt strangetly heightened in this moment of celebration. He couldn’t believe that Ash had been secretly writing away for months when Ryan had assumed the guy to be inside his bedroom, playing games. Just how blind had he been this entire time?

Ryan took a step forward and Ash did not retreat. He grabbed the much smaller guy’s shoulders and held them firmly. Again, Ash did not stop him. Then, seeing the inviting, warm look on Ash’s face, Ryan took the biggest risk of his life, going in for a kiss and desperately hoping that Ash’s lips would move to meet his.

Unbelievably, Ash was kissing him back, moaning gently, as if luxuriating in something he had never wanted more in his life. The kiss became intense, very quickly. With his shirt lifted off him, Ryan felt the handsome guy’s hands rubbing all over his stomach. Before he knew it, Ryan was being guided into the living space, his sweatpants ripped down and then his body pushed with surprisingly kinky force, back into his usual chair in front of the TV. 

Ryan looked up at Ash with startled arousal. The guy seemed so naturally suited to taking charge. He would have known that this was Ryan’s first gay experience and he led the way with ease, erasing any opportunity for awkward fumblings to slip in. He cracked open one of the chilled beers and fetched the tray of doughnuts from the kitchen counter. Then, when he was sure that Ryan was settled, he plunged his whole mouth down onto the fat guy’s crotch.

Ryan’s whole body twitched.This wasn’t a blow job, he thought to himself, feeling the intense stimulation straight away. He found himself moaning, even when he was trying not to. Was this intense pleasure what it was supposed to have been like all along? Lucy had never made much of an effort with anything in the bedroom, but Ash’s mouth was doing things to him that Ryan could never have dreamed of. He supped on his beer and ate a doughnut, feeling Ash’s hands rubbing the spherical shape of his stomach, clearly getting off on making this moment all about him.

Barely two doughnuts in and Ryan felt his body lurching as it wanted to climax. Ash worked his pace even more, feeling the throbbing in his mouth. Then, when the moment came, he pushed his mouth even deeper, sending Ryan’s hardness all the way down his throat. The pleasure; the orgasm; that intensity. It was unlike anything Ryan had ever experienced in his life. 

There was no going back.

Over the following week, Ryan discovered that Ash had a whole arsenal of tactics to please him. Not only did the guy continue to fuss over him with his cooking and snack deliveries, but his tight, energetic little butt seemed determined to outdo every single previous sexual experience that Ryan had ever had. They spoke at length about their attraction to each other and how smitten they both had become. Ryan had no hesitation in inviting Ash to be his date for Jack’s wedding. And, in fact, spending so much time with a now professional writer, really helped Ryan to produce the best speech he could have wished for. Rather than feeling sick with nerves as the big day arrived, he felt excited and pumped, heartily stuffing himself on the big breakfast Ash had so lovingly prepared for him.

“Your friends really aren’t keen on Michelle, are they?” Ash commented later that evening, as the pair of them were reunited after Ryan’s time sitting at the top table and the endless photographs that needed taking.

“Um, no,” Ryan nodded. “Not so much.”

“I had no idea that your friend, Jack, used to be so slim before he met her,” he whispered, fearing that one of their families might overhear. “Your buddies seem to think she’s the devil incarnate!”

Ryan chuckled. He’d heard it all before. “She’s lovely really,” he tried, looking over at the pair of them as Michelle spoonfed her 350lb husband a large piece of their wedding cake. “She just… knows what she wants.”

“I think everyone here can see exactly what it is she wants,” Ash joked back as Jack’s full, swollen belly was patted with approval by his new wife. “It makes me wonder what your friends are going to say about me eventually.”

Ryan pulled Ash into him by holding his slim hips in his chubby hands. They had decided that it was best to go easy on the public displays of affection, considering that this was their first time out together as a couple. However, Ryan simply could not help himself.  “Oh, yes?” he asked keenly.

“I certainly don’t have any plans to put you on a diet,” Ash grinned, fingering the skin between the stretched buttons of Ryan’s beer swollen gut.

Ryan growled in lustful approval. His hands slipped onto Ash’stight, toned butt and pulled the guy in even closer.

“In fact, how come you’re not eating a big slice of wedding cake for me right now?” Ash teased.

Ryan moaned lightly. This was exactly what he wanted. He knew how much scrutiny he was under today. He could feel the judgemental eyes upon him, for his shocking weight gain, the fit of his tight shirt, and the fact that he was dating someone none of them had ever expected. He should have been nervous or self conscious. However, with Ash in his arms, Ryan had never felt more free to be himself. “But won’t that make me even fatter?” he teased back.

Ash smiled. “Oh… I hadn’t thought of that,” he joked, accepting the kiss that Ryan soon bestowed upon him.

Ryan felt Ash’s hands feeling his big, broad butt as they kissed; the pants he had been measured for only a week ago, starting to feel rather uncomfortable after only a week of dating the handsome twenty-four year old. The kiss ended and both of them laughed, realising how ridiculously long it had taken to get to this point. 

“Is this along the lines of what you had in mind for me?” Ryan asked moments later, pushing out his stomach as far as it would go and stretching those buttons even more.

Ash seemed thrilled, looking around the room in surprise that Ryan was making himself look so large in front of everyone that he knew at the wedding. He smiled, rubbing the underside of Ryan’s ball-like gut and then leaned in to whisper. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he teased.

Ryan growled in lustful appreciation, then took his boyfriend’s hand and led the way to the wedding cake.

Exactly one year to the day, Ryan and Ash were sitting in that same room, together with Jack and Michelle, celebrating a year since the wedding. They reminisced fondly, thinking about the perfect day it had been and laughing about how shocked everyone had been after Jack came back 30lbs heavier from his two week honeymoon. 

“You can’t be far off the weight I was this time last year,” Jack noted, surveying his buddy’s hefty appearance.

“Possibly,” Ryan nodded, rubbing his large stomach. “I still  don’t feel big yet though,” he replied, as if he was oblivious to the enormous ball-shaped gut and the groaning of the chair, supporting his wide butt and mostrous 347lb body.

“Unless I ask him to do something,” Ash jumped in comically. “Then he always says he’s too fat to do anything!” he joked, making everyone chuckle.

“I’m actually going to be pushing Jack to five hundred pounds this year,” Michelle explained, taking her morbidly obese husband’s hand as if this was an announcement that thay had been planning for some time.

Ryan noticed Jack staring at his face for a reaction; perhaps some surprise that his old school buddy was so ensnared by his beautiful wife that he was willing to take his weight gain to such extremes for her.

“He’s going to be a lot of work for you at that size!” Ash grinned conspiratorily at Michelle. “I hope you’re ready for that?” he laughed.

“Oh, I’m counting on it!” Michelle smirked, rubbing the 430lb man’s knee under the table.

“You’re a very lucky guy,” Ryan nodded at his friend in approval.

“There you go, Ash,” Michelle smirked. “It sounds like we may have another willing volunteer to join the five hundred pound club,” she nodded towards a jealous looking Ryan.

“You’re joking aren’t you?” Ryan laughed. “Ash is heading off on his second book tour in March. “I won’t be gaining anything for almost two months whilst he’s gone. I’ll probably just wate away!”

“You liar!” Ash teased him back. “Last time I was away, you pretty much lived on takeout and put on almost twenty pounds in a month,” he chuckled.

“I don’t remember you complaining,” Ryan smiled back; his voice dripping with affection and lust.

Michelle looked at them both, clearly wanting to cut through their mushy meanderings. “So, five hundred pounds?” she asked again, trying to circle the conversation back. “I’m getting the impression that you boys are kinky enough to enjoy seeing that on Ryan,” she pressed; ever the bad influence.

Ryan and Ash looked at each other with a wicked excitement in their eyes.

“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” Ash stated diplomatically. Unlike Michelle, he liked to be a little more discreet about his kinks and fantasies when it came to enjoying Ryan’s large body.

Ryan smirked and winked at his old buddy Jack. He knew exactly how to read between the lines of whatever Ash said. There was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to get Ryan to that size. And so, just like his high school best pal, Ryan was as good as setting sail for five hundred pounds. How insanely arousing was that?

“Eat up, my friend,” Ryan smiled competitively at Jack. “I’m coming for you, Fat Boy!” 

[lostreverb]

SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS / HEADCANONS ABOUT MAX COOPERMAN

just realized that aside from jake, most of max's relationships with people were either superficial or transactional which he probably just thought was normal growing up as a rich kid who was a "loser" learning that ppl only liked him when he had something to give them.

of course, when he was younger everyone loved to go to his birthday parties b/c his parents were loaded and they always planned something extravagant to try and make up for the fact they were never really around but, as he got older his parents stopped really caring to put on those parties. after that, no one bothered to give max any attention or befriend him unless they saw his wealth as something useful, or just brought him around so he could be the butt of the joke. and the second they got what they wanted from him they discarded him. being the kind-hearted and naive boy he is, he doesn't really fully grasp it until after ryan beats him to a pulp. he brushes off what happens but it honestly profoundly affects him from then on.

he thought ryan was a friend but turns out he was just being taken advantage of, his parents didn't care to come see him in the hospital despite how serious his condition was, and jake, the only genuine friend he ever had, ends up leaving (prolly bc college) and max later refers to him in passing as "a guy i brought up back in the day" which hints that they likely don't talk anymore.

so college starts. a fresh slate. max guards himself with this macho (with a very small hint of being an asshole) persona. he's got a leadership position as the RA of his floor, got two nerdy "friends" that are very reminiscent of ryan and his guys (remember when they snicker along with him at mike?), and a semi-famous reputation online. he loses weight the summer before college and decides to stop fighting (probably caused by the trauma from ryan) but we see he uses hand grips so even he definitely wants to keep himself strong for his physique and to protect himself. though max is still fairly lean which is likely an insecurity for him. the last thing he ever wants to be seen as is a dork.

let's not even talk about how being conditioned like this affects his views on women and relationships. first off in highschool he only gets attention from baja's friends b/c of his association with jake, then in college he gets all this attention because he's "attractive" now and has this cool car, dorm and fame due to the fighting videos + promotions. he's (mostly) only ever made out with drunk women at parties or events that just throw themselves at him but it never goes further than that.

he likely has made himself believe that he should think of women as prizes (again as awful as ryan was max kind of molds his new self with his influences subconsciously. he had the kind of attention, the girls, the intimidation factor max aspires to have), but if a girl were to ever genuinely like him it would fry his brain. he wouldn't understand the idea of someone wanting to spend time with him, even if he wasn't really doing anything. to intently listen to him and partake in his interests. or how much happier you'd look after just going on a walk around campus with him vs. when he bought you jewelry or flowers.

it left him with a feeling he only experienced once before when jake saved him, and went after ryan.

it just clicks for him like-

oh. this is how it feels to be genuinely cared for.

it's not soon after he realizes that you tell him you love him for the first time, while cuddling in bed (he's sure his mother used to say it to him when he was younger but he honestly can't really remember anymore-- the most communication he has with his parents now is the deposits into his bank account).

once the door closes, and you've left for your classes.. he feels the lingering heat of your lips, your words echoing in his head and the way you looked at him...

and he cries.

[dadvans]

Short Term Solutions for the wip game! 💕💕💕

for the WIP title meme!

tbh can't remember what i've posted from this one before--

Tommy feels like he’s walking onto another scene when he shows up at Evan’s apartment. There’s smoke, albeit thinning through every open window, and Evan is standing on the table waving a sheet pan at the detector high overhead on the ceiling. “Hey.” Evan doesn’t look down at him. Tommy sees a smothered pot on the stove’s back burner, hallmark of a grease fire. “How do you feel about pizza?” “I love pizza,” he offers, like there’s a monster out there that somehow doesn’t. He tries to hide the worry in his voice and makes his way around the kitchen island to the stove so he can help dispose of the smoldering remains of dinner. “I’ll call Dominoes as soon as I��m not afraid of this alarm going off again,” Evan says. “Don’t worry about it.” Fuck Dominoes. Evan’s clearly had a long day, and Tommy is hungry but he’s not that hungry. They’re doing the overpriced hole-in-the-wall down the street where Ryan Gosling was apparently caught by paparazzi last week. He’s fine paying. “I can call.” Evan gives in without a fight, so he must really be at his limit. “Thanks.” It’s tough to see him like this. His usual spark has been dimming more and more the past month since Gerrard resumed control of the 118, and even on the really bad days, he seems reluctant to talk about it. The first time they did, Tommy tried to pass along wisdom from what he remembered of Gerrard: keep your head down, don’t go out of your way to do anything you weren’t asked to do (especially on a call), stay in your lane, and document every goddamn thing as best as you can the second it happens. But these days Tommy can see it in the dismissive way that Evan will crack open a beer on the countertop and say, “Nothing, nothing, you know, asked me if i moved out here ‘cause California is the land of fruits and nuts again,” that there is something worse and more complicated going on under the surface, something Evan refuses to let him help carry the weight on for a variety of reasons. It sucks. Tommy wants to help, and watching Evan struggle and buckle under whatever is going down at the 118 without him is starting to scare him. Something’s gotta give, and Tommy knows it inevitably will. The best thing he knows he can do until further notice is focus on short term solutions. He can take care of a smoking pan while Evan stands helplessly on his kitchen table. He can order a large Hellraiser, extra meat. He can get Evan so far outside of his head he’s boneless and thoughtless and can temporarily forget. “Delivery ETA is sixty minutes,” Tommy announces as he gets off the phone. “Shit, I’m sorry,” Evan says, gingerly getting off the table and setting the pan down. “I told you I’d have dinner ready, you’re probably starving. I can probably throw a salad together—“ “Don’t worry about it,” Tommy says, and that’s when he notices one of Evan’s hands is loosely wrapped. “Are you okay?” Evan seems to have forgotten about it, and looks down at his own palm when he sees Tommy staring. “What? Oh, yeah, got distracted, burned it. Then totally forgot I left the heat on high when I went to take care of it, and“—he waves his good hand vaguely around at the thinning smoke, a half-laugh catching in his throat clearly directed at himself—“yeah. Just can’t seem to stay out of my own way today.” There’s something unsaid there, some kind of weakness Evan doesn’t seem willing to part with, and it breaks Tommy’s heart. He maneuvers his way over to Evan’s side, taking him by the wrist to gently kiss over the burn. “Well, we have an hour.” He sighs. “Tell you what. Let me take care of you, get you out of your head for a bit. Then, after dinner, can we talk about it?” Evan stares up at him, eyes so big. Some invisible weight seems to slough off his shoulders at the suggestion alone, and he nods. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

[burrcapts]

Paw Protocol: Beneath the Hood

God damn it! Michael had been in the secret service for too long not to sense when something really fishy was going on. Vince thought so too and didn’t try to hide it since the day senator Caldwell decided to indefinitely move all of them to his holiday residence out of the blue. This was the middle of the election year, what did the man have to do here, in the middle of the woods that was so damn important? Then came the way some of the guys on the team started to behave pretty much overnight. The last thing Michael expected to see after working for years covering the security of a conservative politician was for Paul and Grant, two married men who previously couldn't shut up whenever they spotted some ‘sexy babe' at one of senator’s rallies, to suddenly become so completely obsessed with each other, fucking like a pair of rabbits every chance they got, no longer giving half a shit about their jobs.

Then the exact same thing somehow happened to Ryan and Mark the following day, both turning into a pair of absolute horndogs as well. Yeah… that was not a bad way to put it, Michael chuckled when he remembered Vince swearing he heard them barking at each other in the single bedroom they've begun to share together. While Michael couldn't give a rat’s ass about what his co-workers did after their shifts were over, it was like all blood had drained from their heads straight to their dicks because all four seemed to have lost half their IQ points after finding their new calling. No matter how hard you tried, you simply couldn't get through to them and have them talk about anything normal.

And what did the senator think about all this? God knows, he’s been spending every minute of the day holed up in his office to the point where it’s been nearly the entire week since Michael had seen the man! If that had been it, he might have chucked it up to just a freaky coincidence, but then the same thing started happening to others. Blake, then Tom the next day… Vince told him he was going to report it to the higher ups but when Michael saw him this morning he was behaving like the biggest doofus of them all! All he said was that he ‘needed to be a good pup for the alpha and they shouldn't be talking about this anymore’ before he hurried off with an ashamed look on his face. What the fuck… was this some kind of code? If so then Michael sure as hell wasn't able to crack it until now! There was no way around it, Michael knew that he will have to make a few phonecalls despite how fucking ridiculous all of this sounded whenever he repeated it in his head.

He knew there had to be far more to it, he just had to find something concrete… something that would help him avoid being turned into a laughingstock of the entire agency. If he had to turn this whole mansion upside down to find it, then so was it! The report could wait one more day!

***

Holy shit… what the fuck was this…?! After failing to find out anything new the entire day, Michael decided to finally bite the bullet and began working on his report. It was already way past midnight by the time he was finishing up, when suddenly he overheard some strange noises. They seemed to be coming from Hank's room… somehow, Michael just had this hunch… telling him that no matter what he mustn't come out of his bedroom right now, not until they were gone. He'd been in this line of work long enough to know that such gut feelings were always to be trusted 

Once it got quieter, Michael cautiously went outside and found that the door to Hank's bedroom was unlocked, inside a bunch of items from his bed and desk were scattered all across the floor. Signs of struggle. Hank was nowhere to be found, but Michael could still hear something going on upstairs. This time he began to follow it without hesitation, staying just far enough behind to make sure none of those fuckers knew they were being trailed as he figured out where they are heading and what their plan might be.

It had to be a whole team… how else would they have taken out everyone stationed outside before they managed to activate the alarms?  But why out of all things would they take Hank from his bed in the middle of the night and drag him off to… to the senator's home office?! Fuck! Now, this was no longer about staying inconspicuous and trailing them from behind but rather protecting the senator's life! Michael cursed and began to sprint across the hallway towards the half open door of the office. He might have originally been fully prepared to fight tooth and nail whoever was waiting inside, but definitely was not ready for what he would be met with once he reached that door.

He spotted Hank immediately. He was laying naked in the middle of the floor, except he wasn't completely naked… They covered up his face with something that looked like a rubber dog mask and put a collar around his neck and then… jesus christ… something was also sticking out of his ass, something that looked like some kind of a dog tail dildo! Michael could tell because all those freaks who surrounded him were dressed exactly the same too!

Michael wasn't sure if even the most roided up bodybuilders he'd ever seen could compare to just how ridiculously muscular they were. They were just standing there, beating off their gigantic cocks while making horny animal noises, their near inhumanely hirsute bodies grinding wildly against each other. Then there was also this other one… he by far the biggest of them all, his gargantuan body completely covered in the black rubber suit. Oddly enough he seemed far more collected than the others… calmly talking to Hank as he sat comfortably behind the senator's desk and slowly stroked his humongous rubber clad erection. Only for some fucked up reason he kept on calling Hank, ‘Milo’ as he explained that there was no point in putting up so much resistance because soon he will understand how much more fun it is to be a good, horny pup than some boring, tiny human.

Michael's stomach sank as he suddenly recognized his voice. No matter how unbelievable it was, the person wearing that freakish perverted costume was Senator Caldwell himself! Lord Almighty… what was going on here?! Michael stood completely frozen watching his colleague squirming helplessly on the floor as if he could no longer control his body at all, only letting out those short, strained groans. To Michael's absolute horror, he saw Hank's cock beginning to grow hard as some of the sounds started changing tone, far more closely resembling excited and pleasurable moans instead. 

He must have been finally losing it from all the adrenaline in his system because in that same moment it looked as if Hank's entire body began to swell, covering itself with salt and pepper hair so thick it almost seemed like he was growing an actual pelt of fur all over! His moans getting even deeper and more lustful as he laid spread out wide on his back in pure bliss, only his swollen cock bobbing up and down as it throbbed from unending pleasure. Yet then, suddenly Hank let out one more desperate, exhausted groan and clutched his fingers around the dog mask those freaks have put on his face, trying as hard as he possibly could to pull it off.

Right away a peculiar kind of buzzing reached Michael's ears, he'd been faintly hearing it in the background for a while without paying too much mind to it but now it abruptly got so intense that he could immediately pinpoint its source. That tail-like thing they've stuck up his ass! It was vibrating like crazy, making his entire body seize up as it contorted into a near perfect arc while uncontrollable howls of pleasure erupted from his mouth. His muscles were swelling so much more rapidly now, he was getting almost as big as… no… no, no, no, this couldn't be true!!! Michael now understood who all those people were!!!

“Please, I… can't fight it any… aaahAAAARRrooooooooooo!!!”

With a lustful, inhuman howl Hank's cock started to uncontrollably spray cum in all directions, leaving that enormous, hirsute body of his totally drenched as he laid there in complete bliss, the entire massive form now completely limp and free of tension as he panted loudly out of exhaustion.

“Now… that wasn't so bad, was it, Milo?”

The response to the senator's voice was immediate. Almost like a soldier who was getting ready for a salute, Hank found himself on all fours in the blink of an eye. His ass up in the air, with that freaky dildo making him look like a dog who was happily wagging his tail as he allowed his tongue to loll far out of the mask's mouth.

“Ruff! Yes, Alpha was right! Being a good, horny pup is so much better than being human! I never want to go back! Never!!! Ruuuuff!”

Good god… this… this was far more than he could handle. Michael began carefully backing away, no longer thinking about anything other than simply getting the hell out of here as soon as he could… until he suddenly felt his shoulder bumping into something…

“Aww… you're being a naughty pup and snooping around again Rusty! But it's okay, I bet you just couldn't wait for your turn so you could have all this fun with everyone just like Milo!”

It was Vince… but no longer the same Vince he knew… Now he was a towering mountain of fur and muscle, wearing the same dog mask, the same perverted shit, a collar with the name ‘Skipper’ inscribed on it... when he grabbed him within his gigantic arms and carried him inside there was nothing that Michael could do. He was kicking and screaming, begging Vince and Hank to snap out of it. They didn't budge and continued to hold him down as the senator prepared a mask and a collar for him. 

Michael soon understood why. Hank had really made it seem like it was something that one could try to fight and resist. How wrong he was to ever think that… Michael’s cock was already rock hard seconds after they slid the tail inside him… it felt so impossibly good… pleasure filling his entire body. But that wasn't what got to him… it was that voice… it appeared as soon as they placed the hood on his head. Telling him that he had to be a good pup… that he had to listen to Alpha like a good pup would… his name was no longer Michael… it was Rusty… he loved that name… he loved being a pup… a good pup…. a good, good pup for Alpha… 

If you liked the story and would like to read more bear themed transformation fiction, or have something written for yourselves consider subscribing to my Patreon! This one in particular was a request from one of my subscribers!

I have also set up two extra accounts on twitter and bluesky for caption purposes! https://x.com/burrcapts https://burrcapts.bsky.social/

[buddiebeginz]

Guys don’t let spoilers for new eps rattle you. We’re closer to Buddie now than we have ever been. Just have to let the story play out.

Remember these things:

They’re not really pushing B/T in the press they’re doing for the show. Like sure they’ve talked about them but go read all the articles and watch the interviews T*mmy is being talked about more as a mentor figure for Buck and not a long term love interest.

The show has very deliberately connected Buck’s bi awakening including B/T to Eddie and compared T*mmy to Eddie.

They’ve literally with dialogue pointed out Buck wanted Eddie’s attention twice (once when Buck was talking to Maddie after the game and once when T*mmy says “my attention” a clear indication he knew Buck wanted Eddie’s attention).

They’ve full on paralleled B/T scenes and Buddie scenes (call Eddie/call T*mmy)

Buck was talking about how great Eddie is moments before T*mmy kissed him.

Eddie was the character they chose to have crash Buck’s first date with a guy. They chose to have it be where Eddie announces that Marisol is moving in and after the date was over and ended badly the main thing Buck focused on wasn’t T*mmy it was the fact he lied to Eddie.

They’ve made it a point to say in interviews that Buck isn’t going to be having any more one on one coming out scenes this season. Yet they had both of Buck’s important coming out scenes involve Eddie. Buck ends up coming out to Maddie because he’s talking about the date and how he’s upset he lied to Eddie. They also had some very deliberate dialogue when Maddie said “I just think maybe you’re not sure of your own feelings yet. And if there’s something you need to tell Eddie you will. In your own time.”

They devoted a whole intense scene to Buck coming out to Eddie including with a hug.

They keep promoting Buddie in interviews and the press and almost all of the promo videos and pics this season have included them. They’ve also had Ryan and Oliver front and center during the press early on and both seem excited about Buddie’s storyline together this season.

They’ve even made Maddie and Chim’s wedding about Buddie to a large degree. All the promos for it are 98% Buddie. They’re also wearing a couples costume, partying with drag queens, and being more physically close than we’ve ever seen them be. Remember this is also happening at an event we saw Buck invite T*mmy to and we know Eddie has a gf who should presumably be his +1.

Marisol has barely been in this season. We don’t really know her as a person or even her last name. We don’t even know how a relationship between her and Eddie functions because we’ve barely seen them together. The one ep Marisol was heavily featured in the show treated her more like a punchline than a fully fleshed out character and certainly not like a long term love interest to a main character.

They’ve already had Eddie talking about how he’s a nester this season. But they also had a very emotional scene where Chris talks about Shannon and how everyone leaves. Eddie having Marisol move in with him so quick (even if she did move back out) just proves he’s repeating old patterns. He’s looking to replace Shannon in his life and for Chris. Instead of looking at what he has and what he wants.

Also remember that Ryan was included with all the other cast members who play queer characters on that episode of Family Feud that’s likely to air during pride month.

I know a lot of people are nervous about what the show is going to do with Buddie but remember there is more incentive for them to make Buddie canon now than ever before. They’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback especially in the press from Buck’s bi storyline. Tim and Ryan and Oliver and the rest know how much people want to see Buddie happen and how much attention they will garner the show when it does. They’re in the perfect position to finally move these characters in that direction and I think they are slowly and steadily. We just have to be patient. We’re likely to have parts of the story suck as we get closer to Buddie but it will be worth it in the end.

[joesanrio]

stop it cause your last fic was so good!! i wish i could rb but i have minors following me:( anyway i was wondering if we could have a little joey fluff? just some tooth rotting fluff if yk what i mean:’’)

Really :D I’m so glad you liked it, and it’s totally understandable 🩷 Of course, I need to take a break from the nasties anyway lol

I don’t Share | R.R

Summary: Joseph is used to being the only one with your attention, but what happens when there’s competition?

Pairings: Joe Anoa’i {Roman Reigns} x fem!reader || established relationship

Warnings: Fluff 101, Time skips, mentions of alcohol, small sexual innuendos, Joe is drunk, stubborn!Joe, understanding!yn, cuddling

Word count: 1215

Ratings: Fluff | 16+

A/N: None of the friends mentioned relate to anyone in real life. Just pure fiction.

———————————————————

Listening to my music as I sat at my vanity getting ready to go out with Joe, he walks in wearing his usual button up and jeans. “Curly hair tonight?” he asks as he sat behind me on the bed, nodding as I finished styling my hair. “Let me see your hair...” I request as he turns his head to show the little ponytail he put in, “So cute!” I smile as he turns around and looks at my face in approval. Getting up from the vanity, I look at my outfit and compare it to Joe’s to see if I am over-dressed.

“Where do you buy these little dresses?’ Joe asked while playing with his wedding band, “I don’t know ask my credit card, I just get the packages.” I shrug jokingly before heading to the closet to put on my shoes. He gets up from the bed to stand at the closet entrance, after admiring my outfit, he finally walks away to get his keys. “Y/n… remember it’s just some of my work friends we are meeting with.” Joe reminds me as I walk out the closet with my purse, I hum in agreement before grabbing my phone off the charger.

Joe turns off the lights, as we leave the room. “My car?” I ask as I look through my purse for the keys, “No- actually yeah.” He hesitates before putting his keys on the counter once I pull out my own. We headed to the door, before I remembered to go back and turn on the alarm.

[Restaurant 7:50pm]

“Hi, I’m Y/n” I introduce myself as one of the fiancés of Joe’s friends, Ryan, comes up to me. “I am Charlotte. It’s nice to finally meet you! Joe talks about you all the time.” Her dimples popped as she smiled sweetly at me. “Really! Nice to meet you too!” I respond before she tells me that the rest of the girls are at the outside bar, “You’ll fit in perfectly!’ She says as she guides me through the restaurant to outside.

It was beautiful, string lights hung up above us with little flowers complementing certain tables and the wooden tables having small candles on them. “It’s gorgeous! Why don’t the guys come out here?” I question as I admire the scenery, Charlotte shrugs before introducing me to 3 other girls. Brianna, Alondra, and Aaliyah. They were all beautiful, having distinct features that even the most forgetful person couldn’t mistake.

“You live around here?” Alondra asked as she moved her long dark hair behind her shoulders, “Yeah about 15 minutes away actually.” I engage in the small talk with a smile. “Lucky! It’s so gorgeous here!” Brianna exclaims as she looks back to the scenery behind her, giggling at her reaction we all tell small personal things about ourselves. “And you’re married to Joe, right?” Aaliyah recounts as she tries to remember who’s who. “Yup!” I nodded as she clapped excitedly.

After about 25 minutes the guys walked outside to find us, Joe’s eyes at once landing onto mine before making his way over to the bar where we were sitting. “I missed you.” Joe whispers into my ear as he stands behind me with a beer in his hand, “You having fun?” I turn to face him and notice the faint smell of alcohol. He nods tiredly before wrapping his arms around my shoulder when I turn back around to the girls, “Y/n girl, you should totally come to the mall with us tomorrow!” Charlotte requests as everyone agrees but waits for my response. “Yeah, of course!” I agree as Joe let’s out a low grunt in disapproval that luckily only, I can hear.

[Home 10:06pm]

“You can’t go!” Joe whines drunkenly as we enter the house, “Why not?” I question amused by his childish behavior. Turning off the alarm, I turned around to see him with his arms crossed and sitting on the couch. “Because… I don’t know right now. Ask me again later.” He mumbles as he rubs his face, while laughing I decided to sit beside him. “Want to shower with me?” I ask as his face lights up and he nods before standing, “Just showering.” I warn as his smile drops once, he realizes that I’m not tolerating his funny business.

I follow him to the room before leaving to get undressed in the bathroom, “You need help?” I ask when I hear the door open to the bathroom. “No.” He shakes his head as the most he did was unbutton his shirt, I turn on the shower as he leans on the back of the door. “Help me Y/n! I was lying.” He exclaims as his arms flop down in distress, I laugh as I walk over to help him finish undressing. “Better?” I giggle before turning to get in the shower.

“It’s so warm.” He hums as he gets in behind me, “Here we can switch.” I say as I go to move behind him. “No, stay there.” He holds my hips to prevent me from moving.

----

After the shower, I got ready for bed and luckily the shower helped Joe sober up a bit. “You’re so pretty.” Joe smiled tiredly at me as I brushed my teeth. I grinned at his complement as I finish my task, “Okay let’s go.” I say as I pull him into a hug. His arms wrapping around my waist tightly as he leans down to put his face in between my neck and shoulder, “Do you really need more friends Y/n?” he asked, causing me to burst out laughing. Pulling away from the hug, I go to the room to finally lay down after the long night.

“To be honest, I don’t even think Charlotte was even that cool.” He shrugs after crawling into his side of the bed, I laugh at his attempts to make the girls seem boring. “Hush already.” I say as I cuddle up into his arms, “I’m just saying that maybe, you should go to the mall with me instead.” I can hear the smirk in his words. “You remember the last time we went to the mall and the aftermath- “, “You loved it.” He cut me off before letting out a small chuckle causing his chest to vibrate. “I did.” I smile before turning away from him, so his chest is now pressed against my back.

Joe continues to rant about little stuff as I doze off in his arms, “Seriously Y/n, I really think you shouldn’t go. Don’t you love me?” He plants small kisses onto my neck. “Joesph. You know I love you. Why are you making it such a big deal.” I giggle as his hand holds onto my hip gently.

I turn back around to face him, the low light of the TV hitting his facial features perfectly. “Because… You only met them tonight.” He speaks with a matter-of-fact tone, “The whole point of me going is so we can get to know each other more.” I try to reason as he shakes his head stubbornly.

“Luckily, we know all about each other.” He teases as his hand moves from my hips to my ass, “Go to sleep!” I giggle as he pulls me into his chest.

[lemotmo]

I love it when people who at least have an idea of how these things work get questions like this.

Q. Did you hear Ryan's podcast? I'm vibrating at this point 👀👀👀

A. Haha, I did listen to it, anon. It was a good reminder of why podcasts usually turn out to be the better interviews. If you're not aware, in 99% of print interviews the questions have been pre screened by the actors/show so they go into the interview already knowing pretty much everything they're going to say. It's why so many of them are repetitive. Podcasts tend to have a little more leeway. They usually only have to get topics pre-approved. So even though they know what topics are going to be discussed they don't usually know the specific questions. Now obviously those interviews come with greater risks because if your actor doesn't know how to edit themselves they could say something epically bad. Obviously this one was pre-recorded so he had a little bit of a safety cushion but it didn't appear to be heavily edited content wise. I love that he touched on the racist/bigoted thing. Even though this came prior to the entire Gerard nonsense, I'm glad he got a chance to tell those people how incredibly wrong they are where he is concerned. I hope he hasn't seen most of it, but given everything he has been tagged in I fear he has seen more than he should have ever had too.

He's in the position now that Oliver was last year. He's the one doing the promotional interviews, but he's just out of canned answers he can give, lol. There's nothing left for him to say except the 'thing' he can't yet say. So you can tell he's trying to make the same answers sound somewhat new and for the most part he was able to do that. It was though just one more thing that kind of made you go, yeah it's going where we think it's going. I just think the show is all out of later. They can't keep pushing the story to 'next season'. And I think that's why we're seeing so many winks and nods from ABC and the show. The comments they replied to yesterday were intentional. Yes, they deleted them but they knew the people who they were intended for would see them and remember them. It's time. Let's go.

Thanks Nonny!

Ah yes! Hard agree on everything here! I haven't seen/heard the whole podcast yet (I'm planning to listen tomorrow when I'm relaxing), but I've seen all of the videos, snippets and quotes about 911 and Eddie that were posted online.

Everything is aligning and people are noticing the change. There is this tentative surge of emotion of 'Oh wow, this is it. It's actually happening this time. No more clowning,' going around in fandom and even beyond the fandom. Love that for us.

So yeah, the time is right.

The time is now.

Let's go!

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[cookiesupplier]

Every Rose Has Its Thorns - Part Thirty

pairing: Ricky Olson x ofc x Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli

warnings/tropes: slow burn, soulmates, strangers to enemies to lovers, betrayal, angst, fluff, smut, language, online bullying, panic attacks, stalking, mental health issues.

summary: In a world where soulmates inexplicably receive a tattoo that will match that of their soulmate the moment they turn eighteen years old, being famous and covered in very visible tattoos can make finding your true soulmate a questionable fate. For everyone involved.

author’s note: Unbeta'd, readers beware as always lol.

tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @jordynyingling0219 @faceless-mirror @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @witchyweeb34 @black-damask1999 @jilliemiw86 @ilovesamkiszka @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @bngurngheart @collapsedglasshouses @laurpartyprogram @sunsshinesunny @malerieee @talialovesmiw @shilohrosechicken

Tag List is Open, please let me know if you would like to be added to it or in general.

Talia hadn’t actually been to Chris house before, his parents didn’t count, that was a whole different thing after all. Not to mention, that even was something that she really didn’t want to think about when it came to what had happened the day she had been there. It had been a wonderful day to start, meeting so many of the band, Laura, Justin, Ryan and his partner had been wonderful, she did look forward to seeing them again, but that day… She couldn’t think back on that day and not remember what else had happened. Now she knew why, it did make her less embarrassed and ashamed of what she did, how she’d behaved. Didn’t make her want to slap Ricky any less when he’d demanded she strip, though. The man wanting her naked, could have gone about it a completely different way. But no, he had to be an asshole about it.

He’d be so mad at her for thinking it, but in his shoes, she understood it though, why he was being an asshole. She stood by her statement about slapping him, but she understood it.

Especially after finding out about Grace being in his house when he got home. Insane. She’d just been another stalker for him not to trust. Again, she stood by the urge for slapping.

Talia wondered if anyone was checking his house while it was empty, and half hoped that even with Grace seemingly off the grid, Ricky wasn’t just jumping at the chance to go home yet. Let everything calm down. Too much was up in the air for her not to be worried. Maybe she was just paranoid, but Grace had kept this up for years.

With Ava spending the day with Vinny, Talia had borrowed her rental car for the day to drive to Chris’ house. Considering she wasn’t sure how long she’d be here, she hadn’t planned to get one herself, but maybe she should at this point, she’d been here a few weeks already. Everything that was piling on, she wasn’t sure how long this was going to last now. On one hand, Ava and Vinny seemed convinced the worst with Grace was over. Ava was getting all kinds of praise and love online from Vinny’s fans, well, those that weren’t crying because now it meant they couldn’t be his soulmate. However, on the other front, she wasn’t sure how to tell Ava about what was happening involving her soulmate tattoo; at least while also making sure she knew how serious it was without tell her about the party, and the kitchen, and, about her breakdown. She wasn’t ready for that yet.

She was the worst best friend in the world, still hiding all this from her.

Walking up the drive to Chris, she pressed the doorbell, only for almost instantly, as if he’d been waiting pretty much on the other side of the door, a rather dishevelled looking Chris, opening the door. He pulled her into a hug, a tight hug, with a groan, his voice muffled into her shoulder, a feat considering how tall he was compared to her.

“JellyBean.”

Sighing at the hug, feeling so much warmth and comfort in his hugs, she couldn’t possibly explain it. Her arms wrapped around his tall frame tightly as he seemed to nuzzle into her neck and shoulder for a moment,

“Chris, Spookie, are you okay?”

Her voice so soft as she hugged him, not wanting to disturb him too much from the comfort he seemed to be seeking from the contact. Turning her head to press her cheek against his shoulder lightly, but a surprised breath came from Chris then, and she wasn’t sure why before he was pausing and pulling away.. 

“I, yea, come on in.. Ricky is through here.. We all need to talk about something.”

Oh god, it was about something to do with Grace, wasn’t it? She knew her being gone was too good to be true. She’d been texting Ricky about it earlier. Se got the feeling he didn’t seem to be as enthused by her deleting her social media profiles as she Vinny and Ava did either. He didn’t say anything specifically, it was more about what he wasn’t saying, than more about what he did say that spoke to her. Maybe she was reading more than she should into it, maybe not, she could just be paranoid, but Grace, she wasn’t right.

Next, Chris led her into his living room where Ricky was waiting, it was so very different from Vinny’s in every way. Chris was all about the dark spooky vibe, and she loved it, but he still had a very modern element to his home. Glancing around, the aesthetic of the house was very tasteful, it wasn’t all dark, depressing when most thought of the halloween vibe that Chris often associated with. Though, it was thread in there a little, but not depressing, it was fun, and enjoyable, just like Chris, just how she liked it.

Moving to sit down, still across the room somewhat from Ricky, half turned to face Chris, looking between the two expectantly, hoping, and praying, that this didn’t have anything to do with Grace.. However, dreading that it really would. Could also have to do with having to do with having to see a therapist about their marks, but if Chris was right, just her and Ricky getting to know each other like friends, should help each it, at least.

“So, what’s going on, what was with the invite over, 911 text?”

Looking between them expectantly,

“Wait, what, 911?”

Ricky was looking at her confused, and Chris, Chris was suddenly very interested in his phone..

“Chris?”

“Okay, I sent the 911.. I panicked! I wasn’t sure she would just come over, so when you said invite, I might have thought, nudge her a bit.”

“Oh my god. She agreed, I told you she agreed.”

Talia couldn’t help but giggle at the back and forth between the boys,

“How about you guys just tell me what's going on that sent Chris into a panic in the first place, because as someone who would rather not get 911 texts, and not see him in a panic?”

Looking between them..

“Right.. Chris do you want to..”

Talia looked from Ricky and back to Chris now as he gestured and Chris nodded, setting his phone down and rubbing his thighs.. 

“So, it's about my soulmate tattoo.”

Chris took in a deep breath as he looked to Talia, glancing quickly to Ricky for a little bit of support. He’d already done the hardest part last night, she already knew his soulmate was dead, but still, this felt so strange to talk about. This whole thing was so, how did you tell someone you think you're connected to their soulmate? And that their soulmate thinks that you're connected to them? Hello, talk about a bit of soulmate love triangle here, how did that even work? Did they even have soulmate love triangles? He’d never heard of them before!

Sure, he’d heard of soulmate tattoos causing love triangles. Everyone had heard of that, but actual soulmate love triangles, with a three-way soulmate link. Was that even possible? What would Talia even think about it? Ricky, he wasn’t even sure what he had thought about it in a romantic sense, friendship wise was one thing, and he knew his friend was struggling enough with everything that was happening.

“What about your tattoo, Chris?”

Okay, face the music time, taking in a breath, he focused on Talia.

“It seems to be, reacting, a bit, similar, but different I guess, not as severe, I think… anyway,”

Yet. He shook his head, he wasn’t making any sense and he knew it.

“I mean, reacting similar to how yours is.. Sort of.”

“What?”

The shock, was understandable, Chris sighed as he continued.

“I wasn’t sure what it was reacting to, as the sensations have been all over the place during the week, I’ve not been paying attention to when they’d been happening, the ache, it was just an ache, I didn’t make the connection. I didn’t want to make the connection, I suppose, but it has just been coming and going. Then, it started to get more pronounced, until I couldn’t deny something was happening anymore.”

Letting out a slow breath to steady himself before he kept going, his head just all over the place.

“The doctor found nothing.. And then.. Well, I thought it reacted to Ricky.”

Chris nodded in Ricky’s direction, and he watched as Talia glanced over to him surprised, Ricky choosing that moment to speak up finally.

“But I’ve noticed that Chris has been reacting to you more than me Sweetheart, his shoulder was playing up the entire time we were helping you, and he was looking after you. That was about you, he was worried about you, not me at all.”

Blinking slightly as he looked at her, and then between them both, holding his breath, not sure what to think, how to react, how should anyone react to this, he wouldn’t be surprised if she started laughing. But… Chris knew she wouldn’t. Not after everything she’d been going through with her own tattoo lately. She wouldn’t tell him he was insane, she wouldn’t treat him like he was crazy. What he didn’t expect was what Talia did say.

“Can I see it?”

Oh… Oh…

“What?”

He felt a bit dumb for a second there, and Ricky wasn’t helping, sitting back in his chair with a that little knowing smirk of a smile on his face, as if he’d expected she’d be curious. Damn him. 

“Your tattoo, Spookie, can I see it?”

When Ricky chuckled from the background “Spookie?” Chris could help but roll his eyes at him with a muttered “Shut it.” he didn’t have the energy for him to make fun of him right now.. He tried to talk Talia out of it okay, he had, but his love of Halloween came back to roost on that nickname. Still he swallowed, right, his tattoo. She didn’t even react to the little moment about the joke aside from the slight growing of her smile which made him think she was trying not to laugh as he told Rick to shut it as he chuckled. He wouldn’t lie, though, her having a special name for him, had him feeling as warm and tender as that glorious hug when she came in at the front door. He wouldn’t give it up, her giving him one for the world.

Chris reached up to his shirt, considering he’d been at the doctors this morning, and needed to access his shoulder, and didn’t want to just keep taking his shirt off and off.. He had a button up on already. So he undid the first couple of buttons from the collar and pulled it to the side. He widened the collar all the way over his shoulder, wiggling it down, now his whole shoulder blade was exposed, his soulmate tattoo was the front of his shoulder. It wasn’t exactly Halloween inspired like so many of his other tattoos, but in a sense, he could use it for the theme. It was a spectral like figure he’d worked into the surrounding piece, and it was so detailed in the shading, not like some of those simple soulmate tattoos either, which he enjoyed. That had been something he had considered himself lucky about when he started tattooing himself, that he didn’t have a crappy soulmate tattoo to blend in.

However, it was always stark again his colour pallet though, black or white. Most of Chris’ tattoos could be colourful, except his soulmate tattoo, and that was why his he’d worn shirts and tank tops a lot.. And the paint had started with the band, the soulmate tattoos. It was a great way to deal with the insanity.

“Why isn’t it white?”

Talia’s soft tentative voice hesitantly asking him that caught him by surprise. What? Of course, it was white. The shock hitting him had him looking over to Rick, and he’d been looking to Talia, Chris looking between the two. What, what was it? What?!? Looking down, he couldn’t get the best look from above, it was, he couldn’t crane his neck to look right at his shoulder properly! Shit, his heart started racing as he called out to his best friend in a panic.

“Ricky!?”

He was moving from his chair closer and Chris was grabbing for his phone to try and use it as a mirror with his camera, shit, how could his soulmate tattoo be changing, again? Had anyone ever had their dead soulmates tattoo change? Was that even humanly possible? Chris’ heart was starting to race, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe as he struggled to get his phone open, and his camera up, flipping open the selfie side and bringing it up to see his shoulder. In his panic it felt like his fingers weren’t working on the screen, and he couldn’t even figure out how to use his fucking phone! There, there, he had it, searching the image he could see on the screen.. He… that… what…

“Oh my god.”

The colour was off. Talia was right.. It wasn’t white. It wasn’t white at all, it was getting darker, it was significantly darker. Grey, it was turning fucking grey, what did this fucking mean? Chris swallows heavily with how close Rick is looking at the darkening outline of the formerly pale white tattoo,

“Chris, it’s changing shape too.”

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[mariacallous]

Jake Tapper looked as flummoxed as everyone else. After a week spent trying to figure out the whys and hows of the assassination attempt against former US president Donald Trump, the CNN anchor was now facing something far more perplexing: why a British pop singer was calling Vice President Kamala Harris a “brat.” As his panel on The Lead tried to explain, he eventually put it together: We’re all brat. “I will aspire to be brat,” Tapper concluded.

So say we all, apparently.

What’s happened in the week since President Joe Biden announced he would not be seeking reelection and tapped his veep, Harris, as his pick for the nomination, the meme-ification of the presidential election in the US has gone from a cautious yellow to a neon, slimelike “Let’s go” green.

Shortly after Biden made his announcement on Sunday, British pop star Charli XCX posted on X that “kamala IS brat” and solidified something that had been percolating for weeks. The internet that had seemed to either feel “meh” about Biden or had been spending its time on the Trump Train or spinning up conspiracies suddenly snapped to attention. The Harris HQ Instagram account embraced the meme. Gays on Fire Island had “Kamala” shirts in the Brat album cover’s lime green before sundown on Sunday.

Brat Summer, though, extends beyond this moment. Like Hot Girl Summer, the meme that sprung up in 2019 around Megan Thee Stallion’s song of the same name, Brat Summer has moved past Charli XCX’s album Brat to become an embodiment of the vibe of the season in 2024. For Charli, it’s about—and this is what Tapper was trying to understand—being a little messy, a little volatile, a little vulnerable. But also honest. It’s about crying in the club, but also about crying over the state of the world in a ridiculous outfit with the top down. It is, in its way, anti-defeatist.

This is the idea of Brat Summer that has been at the edges since Brat dropped in mid-June, and it was woven into the politics of 2024 weeks before Biden announced he was out of the running. Ryan Long, a 22-year-old college student, made a fancam of Harris’ now infamous “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?” remarks overlaid with the green Brat cover back in early July. It now has more than 4 million views on X and landed Long in TechCrunch, which quoted him as saying “because of her Venn diagrams quote, Kamala goes viral on gay Twitter every couple of months. She has turned into this, like, psuedo-gay icon.”

Because this can make heads spin in the over-40 crowd (see above), the internet has since been inundated with stories on how Harris’ campaign is embracing the memes and explaining, Hey, this Brat thing is far more introspective than you might expect. All of this is valuable reader service for anyone who might think introspection wasn’t possible in pop music and/or anyone who had never heard Robyn.

Brat Summer, though, is about more than Charli’s idea of brat. Skip past the fancams and Venn diagrams and you’ll remember that Brat broke out in a year saturated with female pop stars. Sabrina Carpenter has everyone singing “Espresso.” Chappell Roan got so big in the last six months that her concert crowds now spill over into adjacent gas stations. After telling the crowd at this summer’s Gov Ball that she turned down an opportunity to play a Pride event at the White House, the Harris campaign is using Roan’s song “Femininominon” as a rallying cry on TikTok. Harris sits atop Beyoncé’s Renaissance horse in one meme, and rumor has it that Queen Bey has given the veep permission to use her song “Freedom” on the campaign trail.

But in five or 10 years, when this week in Brat Summer is remembered, these individual memes may not come to mind. Instead, it’ll be seen as the time when something broke open. When the vibe on the internet shifted from conspiracy theories and chatter about Silicon Valley bigwigs getting behind Trump to one of pure energy. Conspiracy theories still abound, but so do a bunch of activated Swifties. Under different circumstances this week’s memes would’ve been about Deadpool & Wolverine, or Comic-Con International, or, hell, the Summer Olympics. Instead, social media feeds are awash in a sea of green.

None of this, of course, is a sign that Harris has the youth vote locked, or has reclaimed an internet constituency that had grown bored with Biden. Embracing the memes doesn’t always work—just ask the UK’s Labour party. In the irony-pilled, burned out internet of 2024, the embrace of a little bit of attitude feels like a release valve opening. It could all fizzle out by fall (and backlash already feels like it’s brewing), but this week brat burned bright.

[corroded-hellfire]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8BChQY6/

I was just reading the AYW halloween fic u posted and I saw this and can you imagine Eddie pulling this stunt on Ryan and Luke. I feel like this is how they would react

Surprise, another AYW story! I've had this request since last year, so I apologize to the anon who has been waiting so long. This takes place the day after this Halloween story!

Words: 1.1k

[As You Wish masterlist]

“No, you didn’t!” 

“Yes, I did.”

“No! You did not!”

“Where is it then?”

It’s next to impossible for Eddie to keep a straight face. 

Luke frowns and flops back against the cushions on the couch. His natural Munson dramatics are on full display, even at five years old. 

“You didn’t eat our candy!” Ryan insists.

It takes everything in you not to start laughing at their small, affronted faces. You gave them each one piece of candy on the ride home from school and one when they got home. That’s all the candy they’ve laid eyes on today—they don’t know their stash from last night is in a big bowl on the top shelf of the pantry. But Eddie, being Eddie, had to take the opportunity of their lack of visibility to tease them. After a long day at work, it seems to be relaxing him actually. 

“How could you eat all of that?!” Luke demands, running his hands down his face.

“We shared,” Eddie says, nodding his head towards you. You fight the impulse to raise your eyebrows at him for looping you into his evil plan. 

“That’s what you did after we went to bed?” Ryan asks, brow furrowing.

God, the things I wanted to do with her last night… Eddie thinks. 

“We’re never going to bed again,” Luke says. 

“You even ate the candy corn?” Ryan’s nose wrinkles up at the thought of anyone eating that gross candy. 

“Even that,” you say. 

“This is so unfair!” Luke slides down from the couch to the floor, lying face down on the carpet. “It’s all I was looking forward to today. What’s even the point anymore?”

Both you and Eddie have to turn away and hide your muffled laughter. Five seems a little young to be having some sort of existential crisis. 

Once recovered, Eddie looks back at his son. Luke face planting on the ground and Ryan slumped over the arm of the couch in annoyance. He toys with stringing them along a little bit longer but decides he’s had his fun.

“How about this,” Eddie starts. “I’ll get you more candy if you do one thing.”

“What?” Ryan asks as both boys’ heads pop up.

“Remember that dance you learned yesterday?” Eddie’s eyes drift to you and you share a smirk.

After school and before trick-or-treating yesterday you taught the small Munsons how to do the Time Warp dance from Rocky Horror. 

“Yeah,” Luke answers.

“I wanna see it again,” Eddie tells them.

You’ve never seen the boys get up on their feet so quickly before. They’re both ready, hands on hips, to perform the choreography. 

“Do you happen to have the soundtrack?” you ask Eddie.

He swivels his head in your direction and cocks an eyebrow. It’s a look that says did you really just ask me that?

“What kind of music aficionado and 70s kid would I be if I didn’t have it?” He pushes himself up from the chair and walks over to his collection near the stereo.

“Well, pardon me,” you tease.

Eddie chuckles and looks over his shoulder at you with a cheeky smile.

“I actually only have it because my friend Dustin got two for his birthday one year and he gave me the extra.”

You walk over to him and playfully swat his shoulder blade.

“Making me feel dumb,” you mumble.

Eddie plucks the CD from a pile and turns to wrap one arm around your shoulders.

“Aw come on, sweetheart,” he says, looking at you with those damn brown eyes that make you melt. “Who would I be if I didn’t mess with the people I care about?”

Your heart flutters but you immediately try to tamp it down. It would make sense that he cares for you, given that he trusts you to watch his children every day for over six months now. It’s nothing more than that, you convince yourself. Because you have to. 

“Can we dance, please?” Luke huffs. “I want my chocolate.”

“Okay, okay,” Eddie says. He pops the CD out of the case and slides it into the stereo.

It's astounding

Time is fleeting

Madness takes its toll

But listen closely

Not for very much longer

I've got to keep control

The boys wiggle, loosening up as they wait for the chorus. Both you and Eddie watch in excited anticipation. 

“Here it is,” Luke tells his brother. 

Ryan nods and adjusts his hands on his hips.

It's just a jump to the left

The boys take giant hops to the left, Luke almost knocking into his brother. 

And then a step to the right

Put your hands on your hips

The boys don’t have to do the motion since they’ve had them there the entire time.

You bring your knees in tight

But it's the pelvic thrust

It really drives you insane

A giggle bursts out of you as the boys wiggle their hips—which is what you taught them because no children need to learn what “pelvic thrust” means.

The music winds down and the little dancers melt down onto the living room carpet.

“Bravo,” Eddie says, starting a slow clap. You join in as the brothers get up and take bows.

“Candy?” Luke asks.

“Hmm,” Eddie hums. He keeps his face neutral as he presses his hands to his thighs to rise from his seat. 

Their eyes never leave their father as he makes his way into the kitchen. When he disappears due to a wall, they lean over to keep Eddie in their sights. The squeak of the pantry door echoes out to the living room and your eyes are automatically attracted to the little sliver of skin that shows when Eddie reaches up to the top shelf. 

A dramatic gasp comes from Luke as Eddie pulls down the same large orange bowl that the pooled candy was put into last night. 

“You didn’t eat it!” the five-year-old growls.

“You liar!” Ryan calls, pointing at his father.

“I did not lie,” Eddie says as he strolls back into the room. “I was tricking you. You know, as in, trick-or-treat.”

“Now gimme my treat,” Luke says, making grabby hands.

You plop down on the couch and pull the smaller boy into your lap.

“Will you share with me?” you ask.

“Yeah, you’re a nice lady.”

You chuckle and wrap your arms around Luke as Ryan sits down next to you and Eddie puts the bowl on the coffee table.

“Okay, give me all your KitKats,” Eddie says.

“Go fish,” Ryan says, snatching up a KitKat and unwrapping it before his dad can get it.

“Can this be our dinner?” Luke asks.

“It can be your dinner if you go to bed in ten minutes,” Eddie says.

Luke sighs. “Never mind.”

[magicalqueennightmare]

Not Exactly a Win (N.C.)

Homelander goes down for good

Non Canon storyline part 3 to Not Exactly Babysitting & Not Exactly a Lie

Its the boys so lots of crazy shit

You hadn't spoken to Billy since the last time you fucked him and hadn't talked to Ben since he admitted to you that Homelander was his son. You knew everything was coming to a head, you could feel it but didn't know how close it was until Annie called you to go with her to meet Hughie.

"What do you mean?" You asked Hughie who shrugged "He punched me. I woke up and called Annie for a ride" you sat back in the seat and let out a harsh breath. If Butcher had ditched Hughie the final showdown was on the horizon. The question was whether or not anyone would be standing by the time it was through.

Maeve was at the apartment by the time the three of you got back and after she told you all what she knew there was only one option, go after Butcher and Ben.

-----------

You saw Maeve move before anyone else did and when she threw the nerve gas meant for Ben out of the window you knew that meant she was of the same mind as you. Homelander had to die,no matter what. Butcher cut his eyes at you before motioning to Hughie, Annie, Frenchie, Kimiko and MM "Lets get em in the safe"

"I'm sorry" was the last thing you told them before closing the door behind them. You turned to face Maeve, Ben and Butcher "Lets do this"

Leave it to Homelander to resort to attempted emotional manipulation. He did it for a living with Vought but you never expected he would've brought Ryan into it. You and Billy locked eyes when he stepped out, this complicated things.

One minute Ben was choking Homelander, the next Ryan was hitting Ben with a blast and without thinking you lunged forward and caught the impact of Ben's shield before he could hit Ryan.

----------

You felt your body slam into a wall and vaguely heard Ben and Billy shout your name but Ryan's voice was closer. You opened your eyes to see him on his knees next to your head "please don't die. I didn't mean for you to get hurt, please Y/N"

You offered him a small smile "it's ok Ryan. I'm a supe too remember?" He moved to help you up and behind him you could see Billy and Ben fighting while Maeve fought Homelander. You had to get Ryan out the way and everyone focused on the task at hand. "Ryan I need to tell you something and it's gonna hurt but you know me, I wouldn't lie to you"

He nodded "What is it?" You took a deep breath "Remember seeing my tattoos and asking about them?" "The scars?" He asked and christ his voice sounded so small "Your dad gave them to me and he hurt your mom really bad too. He's not a good man" he blinked back tears "But he said.." he trailed off then you could see him steady himself "How did he hurt you and mom?"

You didn't know what to say to a twelve year old "He wanted us and we didn't want him" his eyes glowed red with his powers "Then he needs to die" he started to stand but you grabbed his arm "Not you. I need you to get out of here. MM and the rest of the boys will be here soon. They'll keep you safe and get you back to Grace. If i make it out of here I'll find you kid" "What about you?" You nodded towards the chaos happening around the two of you "I've got to handle this" he nodded and started to move towards the door but stopped to look back at you "Try not to die" then ran for the exit. "I'll do my best" you muttered pushing yourself to your feet.

Homelander laughed as he dodged your flame and shot a blast towards Maeve "Did you really think the two of you could stop me?" You shrugged "No but we can distract you"

You and Maeve dove out the way of the blast about the time Ben hit Homelander. You watched as he hit his knees, the compound V burning out of his veins. Once the blast was gone Ben's breathing was heavy and Billy was barely on his feet, the two of them looked at you then in unison Ben slammed his shield into Homelander's chest as Billy shot him square in the eye.

The official report? An explosion in Vought tower claimed the lives of Soldier Boy, his son Homelander, his grandson Ryan and fellow supe Maeve.

Grace let Ben walk away, put Ryan back into protective custody for a while and you, Billy and the boys would be left with the aftermath. It didn't matter, Homelander was dead and Ryan was alive and safe from him. You could handle the team being pissed. Your nightmare was gone.