#and the jokes were funny like it was ok to make the jokes.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment

[honeyjars-sims]

3.35 Sticky Situation

It’s the second day of our camping trip and I’m realizing that even when she’s on vacation, Lucy is still in work mode. With the spotty cell service on the mountain, she’s not able to do any actual work so she’s channeling all of her energy into making sure things run smoothly on the trip.

She was up before the rest of us this morning cleaning up our mess from the night before and now that everyone’s awake, she’s been looking for things to do. “We should gather more firewood,” she says.

“We have all day to do that,” I tell her. “Just relax. This is a vacation, remember?”

“I know, but I can’t relax when there are things that need to be done. I always get like this when I’m…on vacation.” I have a feeling there’s more going on but before I can ask her about it, Paul jumps in.

“Well, if you can’t relax until things are done, then at least let someone else do it,” he insists. He turns to me. “John and I can gather up some firewood while you get in some relaxation.”

I start to protest the suggestion–I always hate it when I get roped into hard labor just because I’m a guy–but Lucy looks so relieved that I decide to let it go. “Yeah, we’ll take care of it,” I say instead, and Paul and I head off into the woods.

We barely make it a few feet before Paul starts droning on about how you want to make sure you get the right type of wood, and you have to make sure the pieces you pick aren’t too wet, and blah, blah, blah. “Yeah, yeah,” I cut in. “If I have to do this, then I’m gonna do it my way.”

“Oh? What’s your way? If you have any insights, I’m happy to hear them.”

“It’s pretty simple. Is this wood? If yes, then I pick it up.”

“Hmm, ok,” he says, sounding uncertain. “I suppose we’ll see how that goes tonight.” 

“I guess we will.”

“You’re kind of competitive aren’t you?” he asks.

I feel my face growing hot, remembering how I tried–and failed–to show him up on our last hiking trip. “Uh, not really,” I mutter.

“Oh, so, it’s just with me then?” His words would sound confrontational if not for the softness of his tone. He seems more curious than argumentative.

“Look, I’m sorry about all of that. I was just feeling a little insecure with all of the attention you were getting from the girls. I’m trying to be more mature about it, though.”

“Ahh, the girls,” he replies. “That’s what that was about. I don’t see what you’re so insecure about, though.”

“Well, I mean, you’re going to be a doctor, and you’re more athletic than I am.” Spelling out my insecurities isn’t exactly making me feel better about them. 

Paul shrugs. “I don’t even start med school until the fall,” he counters. “Besides, you had everyone laughing and that’s something I’ve never been good at. In fact, I’m famous in my family for telling the worst jokes.”

“Oh, really?” I ask, excited for an opportunity to pass on some advice about something I’m good at. “In my opinion, the main thing people get wrong about comedy is that they try too hard to be funny instead of just finding opportunities naturally.”

“You think so? Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.”

“It could be. Go ahead, just say what comes to mind without thinking too much about whether or not it’s funny.”

“Uh, ok, what’s brown and sticky?” he asks.

“I don’t know, what is it?”

“A stick!”

This is not a good joke. Like objectively it’s not, but he has this huge grin on his face like he’s standing on stage at a sold out comedy show, and I can’t help but laugh with him. Not in a mean way; he’s so pleased with himself that it’s kind of endearing. “It was good?” he asks eagerly.

“Well…” I choose my words carefully. “Maybe the joke wasn’t the best, but I think you have the right attitude. I’m sure if you start looking out for the humor in different situations then it’ll start coming naturally to you.”

“Ok, well, thanks for the feedback.”

“No problem. We should probably start gathering up that wood. What did you say we should look for again?”

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[oacest]

sister lover which is also his entire existence. it's like ok. ok. noel.

you wrote sister lover.

what about it? you clearly think incest is funny and edgy. you keep making incest jokes. you were obviously just messing around.

and kissing your brother. which is fine it was the nineties. Angelina Jolie carried around a vial of her brother's blood in the nineties. people were just doing rock shock celeb culture stuff. coke didn't have fentanyl in it yet.

oh you have consistently and publicly said you wish your brother had been your sister for like thirty years. while estranged you continue to say this. to the press?

you have. never forgiven him for not being a girl. ok.

well you are a known shit talker. you don't believe half the things you say when you say them and a solid 30% you stop believing within five minutes of saying them. I should remember this. and you love a bit! and to repeat yourself.

oh so we're reworking sister lover now? in your new solo material.

there is a direct link between sister lover and lock all the doors.

SHE WORE A STAR SHAPED TAMBOURINE

c'mon buddy who is this for? what are you doing here? to what end are you doing this.

ohhhh I see I was confused because my uterus was wandering up to my brain and making me hallucinate.

much like your brother's? huh.

well ok! hope you're having fun with all this. everyone needs hobby. I liked dead to the world btw that was a cute song. nice job on that one.

i have nothing at all to add to this you're so right

[pumpkinsy0]

so considering, um, today.... can we get some fluffy papercut hcs?? maybe them comforting each other??

i feel like i think about them more when im rlly stressed so yall were gettin these hcs regardless LMAOOOO

•as a joke, curly would just make stuff up that ppl do in his culture just to see how far he can go before ponys like “ok now ik ur lying🙎🏻‍♂️” and ponys so accepting too so ikkkkk hes gotten pretty far w it

•they take their pinkie promises seriously i just know they do,,,

•is curly secretly super smart??? no, BUTTT i do think that around ppl he likes, mainly pony and somewhat angela, he overplays his stupidity, just to rile em up for funsies, but he knows that they know he’s not that stupid and hes happy for that, its like he can let go w 0 consequences

•curlys hair is actually relatively long, pretty much longer than ponys actually and pony has a habit at SOFTLY pulling curlys hair to take a look at it (w curlys permission duh) , curly finds it very comforting and it makes him sleepy but hes never admitting to that

•pony has pretty chubby cheeks (his FACE!!!! i mean his face!!!!!) and curlys always squeezing them, does pony stop him??? sometimes, only sometimes, he likes how warm curlys hands r

•curly is so touch starved its not even funny, any touch from pony (pause on that) makes him feel better, usually touches from others that aren’t family came from like hook ups n such, so the way pony touches him is different and while hes scared cause “woahhhhh vulnerability and im actually being seen for me” but he likes it too much to just pull away,

•they dont say i love u, maybe they do but its more if a casual “love ya” w an eye roll in a teasing manner, BUT THEY DO MEAN IT!!!! howeverrrr if u wanna get them to ACTUALLY b more soft, the way they say it is by saying something along the lines of “for u??? why not”

•there was a time where pony gave curly his hoodie to share after curly got into an argument w tim and didnt get his jacket before he left, did they get sick???? yeaaaaa, but hey its the thought that counts, curly did appreciate it a lot

•they cant play footsies for the life of em bc both of them have a bit of lower body strength and they will both leave w bruises on their legs

•me saying they never hold hands was a half lie, they do but its never a full hand hold and its almost never in front of others

•they BOTH have to defend the other when someone asks y theyre dating “him”, im sick of pretending its only pony who has to defend curly, a lot if ppl see pony as a wimp brah

[amazingmsme]

That Was Funny. Laugh

AN: I haven’t forgotten about the rest of tickletober, don’t you worry! Here’s day 24 with Max & the nerds! I feel like he would probably try too hard to fit in with them, & it doesn’t exactly always work. But that’s ok, he’ll make it work! Think we all could use a bit of fluff right now…

Things were starting to look up. They were hesitant to say that the prank worked, but at least Max had stopped bullying them, and that was their main goal, so Pete marked it as a success.

The rest of the jocks started to change their tune, following Max's lead, and it had been weeks since he had a swirly or was shoved inside a locker. Pete and Steph were going steady, and the school play was really starting to come together. The Jagerman himself even invited them to the big game to watch him "stomp Clivesdale into the fucking mud." And what do you know, he did!

So things were honestly pretty great. There was just one little problem...

"Sup nerds!"

They all groaned in unison as he announced his presence from behind. He caught up rather quickly, slinging his arms around Peter and Richie's shoulders, the latter flinching at the contact.

"Oh, h-hey Max," he stuttered, trying to play it cool. Max didn't seem to notice, or he just didn't care. "What's up?"

"Oh nothin' much, practice got canceled 'cause of the rain so I gotta fuckin' walk home. Can you believe it?" he complained. Steph couldn't hide her smirk as she answered.

"Yeah I can, actually."

"Shut it, Lauter," he snapped, but it lacked the usual venom his words carried. "You never have to walk anywhere."

"Actually," she corrected, "I'm walking right now." Peter, Ruth, and Richie all snapped their heads to look at her, silently begging her not to say another word.

"Oh yeah? Where the hell are you nerds going? The fuckin' library?" he wheezed out a laugh, slapping a hand on his knee in amusement, although his laughter trailed off when he realized no one was laughing with him.

Steph merely arched a brow and crossed her arms. "No smartass, we're going to Pizza Pete's to win that ugly little doll Ruth's been wanting." Pleading stares turned to annoyed glances as she spilt the beans. The very act of telling Max where they were going was practically an invitation in his eyes.

"Really? Didn't know Spankoffski had his own pizza shop," he quipped, a smirk stretching across his face. That one was good, he had to admit.

And they still didn't fuckin' laugh! Are they brain dead or something?

"Ha ha, like I never heard that one before," Peter rolled his eyes, an annoyed smile tugging at his lips. At least Max was trying.

"Well if you need tickets to win the ugly fucker, I'm great at skee ball," he offered.

"Don't call him that! He's so fuzzy and cute, you guys are just mean!" Ruth whined, clutching her chest dramatically.

"Ruth, radioactive Cthulhu is not cute, he's just creepy," Richie deadpanned. Ruth stuck her tongue out as he returned the gesture.

"Come on you two, those tickets aren't gonna win themselves," Peter prompted, and they began walking down the sidewalk, dumb jock in tow. They all resigned to their fate of backhanded compliments and obscure sports references for the next two hours. Still, it was better than the way things used to be.

Not ideal, but surprisingly tolerable.

At least when he wasn't trying so damn hard. He would go out of his way to be what he considered kind, but was really the bare minimum at best. And Peter wasn’t exactly sure why he thought he needed to be funny for them to like him. Honestly, it was getting old.

Peter, Richie and Max stood off to the side as Ruth and Steph fed their tickets into the ticket counter. A waiter passed by carrying a pizza, and Max nudged them to get their attention, pointing at the restaurant’s signature dish.

“You see that?”

Peter and Richie exchanged confused looks and shrugged. “I guess…”

Max sported a proud, shit-eating grin. “I’d tell you a joke about pizza, but it’d probably be too cheesy,” he punctuated the joke with a deep laugh of his own as they just stared at him.

“I’m lactose intolerant, what the fuck are you talking about?” Richie deadpanned, clearly not getting the joke. Max rolled his eyes dramatically.

“It’s called a joke, dumbass! And it was funny, so you better laugh!” He took a step closer when Richie didn’t immediately comply. “Laugh,” he demanded, deciding to ditch the jokes all together and go for a more “hands on” approach.

“Mahahax! Whahat thehehe hehell?” he asked, thrashing from side to side as he managed to escape Max’s evil clutches.

“Ha! I knew you’d be ticklish! What about you Soanioffski?” he questioned, catching him off guard.

“Wha- me? Max, wahahait!” he cried out as Max targeted him as well. He scribbled up and down Richie’s side while his other hand prodded at Peter’s ribs. Richie flailed around uselessly, shrill giggles filling the air. Peter slapped at his hand, but Max wasn’t deterred in the slightest.

“How come you nerds never told me how ticklish you were? Think of all the fun we could’ve had!” he cheered, shoving his hands underneath both of their arms, eliciting two different giggly shrieks.

“Thahahat’s exahactly why wehe nehehever tohohold you!” Peter whined.

“We gotta make up for lost time then, don’t we? Don’t worry, I can hustle.” They started protesting, shaking their heads and tripping over their words as he wiggled his fingers closer and closer.

He was just about to really strike when Steph came to their rescue.

“Hey, I think we have enough tickets,” she called for their attention, a fond smirk firmly in place.

Max pulled them closer, ruffling their hair as he did so. “Don’t worry, we’ll pick that up again later.”

Y’know… call him crazy, but Peter wasn’t exactly dreading it.

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

So, I'm only replying like this in a reblog because I want this all to be in one place and not broken up in a bunch of different comments.

But this post is, firstly, a joke and not a hardcore theological stance. I did not post this to be like, Paul only wrote this because he hated sex and it's an unholy sin if anyone ever does have it. I just think it is very important for us to be able to joke about stuff like this as Christians because I honestly think Jesus was the type of person that would joke around and have fun. He was a living, breathing human that experienced the joy of laughing with others. If we aren't able to joke and be warm like this, then what do outsiders see when they look at us? Do they see Jesus (who I am 100% sure was the warmest person that will ever step foot on this planet)? Or do they see a bunch of cold, unwelcoming people who have no joy?

And also, I 100% agree with you that 1 Corinthians 7 is about self control. Not only that, but it is stated in a very profound way that ensures honor is part of marriage as much as possible. However, I also 100% believe that the way 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 is written makes me laugh EVERY time (and I am not ashamed of that).

So I say to those who aren't married and to widows - it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's best to marry than to burn with lust. - 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 NLT

Like, I'm sorry, but "if they can't control themselves" and "best to marry than to burn with lust"? That's such a funny way to put it which makes me smile every single time. It does not make me appreciate the importance of it less, it just gives me a brief moment of joy.

And secondly, the theory that Paul was betrothed is most likely true and very plausible. However, it is not something that we will ever be able to 100% prove, because we just don't have definite proof of that. So, I see no harm in pondering Paul through an aroace lens, it is actually very healing for me. I grew up and still live in a church that very much taught me that my only purpose, the only way that I could serve God most truly, was to marry and have kids. Which was heartbreaking, because the one thing in the world that I want to do more than anything else is to serve the Lord with my entire life. However, I've just never had even the tiniest of desire to get married. So, what? Is there just something wrong with me and I'm destined to either be incredibly unhappy in a marriage or alternatively just never serve God? That's what I believed for a long time, sadly.

But then I read verses like this in 1 Corinthians 7:

But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. -1 Corinthians 7:7

Like, this way that I feel is actually a special gift from God? And Paul, one of the greatest figures in the Bible, felt the same way as I do? That is so powerful, it truly is. Knowing that the way I am can actually be an asset for the Lord and His kingdom. Knowing that my life won't be wasted and can actually just be used all the more for His purpose. Marriage is an incredibly beautiful thing, it's just not for me. And that's ok.

So, yeah. Sorry, for replying like this and for making it so long. I just like having dialogue with fellow Christians, especially on Tumblr. I truly hope you are having an incredible day.

@litostaves

I think we all need to appreciate just how funny the Bible is sometimes because I was reading 1 Corinthians 7 yesterday and Paul was literally like:

“It’s really best if you all never have romantic partners or sex and just devote yourselves entirely to God. But since y’all WEIRDOS can’t seem to CONTROL YOURSELVES, I guess it’s alright if you do it honorably with one person *cue Paul rolling his eyes*.”

Paul was an aroace king and nobody will ever be able to convince me otherwise.

[fagmegumi]

Hey everyone this guy in his early 20s is having consensual, kinda spicy sex with women in his age range. that’s straight up p***ph*lia and we should turn him into the collective’s punching bag of the week, for woke reasons of course

[peteytheparrot]

The amount of death in the wild robot is crazy 😭 like showing a cute crow and then BEHEADING IT??? is CRAZY ☠️☠️☠️ peak movie 10/10

[skunkes]

how did u feel about the 2nd Terrifier movie? i saw it on a first date so it wasn’t the best experience… but revisiting it I can enjoy it more. good sfx

So the first one is 1h30m i believe, and I know when I watched it and saw I was 40 minutes in i was like wow its been that long and it feels like not much has happened huh. But then it did what it did and it ended.

For the second one I was like oh its been 40 minutes. Hopefully it starts kicking off like the first one. And then after what felt like an hour only 10 more minutes had passed LOL and the entire rest of the movie felt dis way

I like that this one had more of a semblance of a plot... The clown cafe song is stuck in my head... Sfx is good but hm im not sure how to describe this....im not one of those "omg this is just a legal snuff film u guys are evil for watching this" people nor am i a "ermm if u cant handle this ur a prude and a little baby actually" person but more somewhere in between or outside. I love movie gore, when i was younger I watched Saw SOLELY for the traps, i didnt even know the plot until more recently LMAO

but obviously That One Scene...idk! I dont think it was too much in the "prude" way nor was i clapping and cheering but it did evoke a "ok come on wrap it up" feeling from me...like these faces combined...does dis make sense. Not walking-out-of-the-theater disgust and revulsion OR enjoyment/glee but just mostly straight faced this ⬇️

The first movie has a naked woman being split in half from coochie down so its definitely not the gore itself here that evoked this emotion ykwim

[the-casbah-way]

not to be obnoxious but like. you people are mad at those watcher guys for making you pay for a subscription service. but you were all able to look past the fact that they had an entire series where they just made jokes about actual real life true crime cases. that makes sense

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

hm

thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

[todayisafridaynight]

thinking about vampiric arakawas again just so i can make a 'blood-sucking politician' joke

[imgonnagetyoubacktv]

so sad for absolutely no reason

[aropride]

there's a lot of aphoic "joke" posts that circle around from time to time and i don't trust ppl who reblog any of them bc even if they don't intend it to be aphobic the post was made as a way to make fun of us and de-legitimize our identities. like Why would u want to spread that around lol

[makerofmadness]

ok I know I said I love dark cacao but like they didn't have to make two of him /j

(I'm sorry what the fzck is going on with kingdom right now like. I thought my friend was kidding when they said "ancient+" I thought it was a joke about Mystic Flour like what the fudge do you MEAN someone actually signed off on that-)

(I feel like I caused this somehow 😭 like I think I said once on here that cacao's my favorite out of the ancients but I didn't like to actually USE him but like. why not just buff him???? Or like they were doing that whole crystal jam thing and I know that was kinda only for the legendaries but like. it's something-)

[astrxealis]

making myself suffer looking thru ffxiv stuff on tumblr when i could be playing ffxiv rn but i eternally love and miss ffxiv