#and the idea that you can find happiness and fulfillment in what's ordinary and sometimes even a bit bleak

[thatscarletflycatcher]

I was so caught up in the euphoria of finding a good title for my wip, that for like 2 months I lived in a world where other people being able to come up with the same idea didn't exist.

[etherfabric]

How to grow from your roots

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn’t resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Judgment, The Devil

Be honest about what you really need - not what you could make do with if forced to by your fear of causing a commotion. You need to speak up about what makes your heart sing, what makes your belly full, your day a bright one instead of a dull one, your relationships something you cherish instead of feeling suffocated by them. No matter how big. But you can start small. "You want something to drink with that?" No, actually, I don't. Thank you. "Need anything from the store?" Yes, actually, this kind of tea, last time you brought the wrong one. I like the chamomile, not the nettle one. "Can I call you back?" Yes, but after 8PM I won't answer. I want to watch the new episode. "Can I borrow that?" No, I get scared when other people have it. Sorry.

It might feel like being a diva the first times around, and the anxiety about what people might think will tank the emotional gain initially - but wait until the smoke settles, and nothing dreadful actually happened. Plus - you got your thing! Yay! That's the stuff. Whoever shames you for that is just too accustomed to your placation, and will surely find another comfort soon enough.

Pile 2

The Sun, 6 of Swords

Believe that you deserve what you already have, then you will have no qualms expecting the next blessings. What seemed presumptuous in your old mindset is suddenly the only logical turn of events. Of course I will meet someone. Of course they will like me. Of course I will get what I need. Of course I will accomplish my version of health. If you feel comfortable with the idea, imagine roots or lightbeams shooting down from you into the core of the Earth. You belong here. Life gave you what you have. Of course you deserve it. You are part of all of us, and we want you to be content and fulfilled. It's safe to continue. It's safe to want more. Because there IS more for you. Just like you got everything you already have. It's yours to enjoy. Not your foundation is shaky - your knees are trembling. Find comfort, find relief, and see how it carries you like it always has.

Pile 3

7 of Wands, 6 of Swords

You have forgotten what you are actually capable of. The last season asked different things of you than what you need to bring to the table now. But it's nothing new, or necessarily complicated - you already got it in you. It's like you are not even looking in your closet for something appropriate to wear, because you just decided it's all shit anyways, so don't bother opening it. You got your defenses up, because being small was safe so far. But now, the old skin starts itching. Tear it apart! It's not as fragile as the fresh pink one you had to grow tenderly after the wound. This one is dry and flaky, and begs to be shed by movements you didn't dare to do for a long time. Find a situation where you can prove yourself to yourself. See it with your own eyes that you are a new version of your old self, and capable of everything former and beyond.

Pile 4

5 of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles

Your darkest times are begging to be included in your story. Not to drag you down - to elevate you! Look at what you survived! What you came back from! You don't celebrate this enough. You live the life of someone else, someone ordinary, someone with only happy days. You should carry yourself like the force you are. You should command the respect you always had for yourself to keep fighting, trying again, getting up sooner or later, and be it just to go to the toilet. You don't know the weight of your life because you always carry it, but it would crush others. That is something to be proud of. That is something giving you the vigor you are looking for to get what you want, become who you see before your inner eye, and live the life that calls to you. You are not daydreaming - you are finally coming to your senses.

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[jellyluchi]

An Education in Humanity

A/N: I had this idea while in the shower and since I'd not written profoca in a while it seemed like something new to explore. It is probably their least physically affectionate story. The Egypt stuff I can’t explain just imagine they’re going on vacation. And Idk if they had credit cards back in 2001.

Pairing: Prosciutto x Focaccia Genre: Fluff, Angst (?) Content warnings: implied racial discrimination Summary: Two assassins run into a difficulty when grocery shopping

Grocery shopping is an entirely ordinary affair for people who are entangled within the sordid shadows of the world. Through the maze of aisles carrying produce, bottles, cans, and boxes, it’s easy to keep oneself hidden. But that is not at all necessary for the kind of work Focaccia and her husband have been up to lately. Holding a bag of flour in her hands, she fumbles with translating simple Italian adjectives in her mind. Frowning at the fine print, she turns to Prosciutto. 

“What does this say?” she points a manicured finger to an unfamiliar Italian word. Even grocery shopping in the years that has immersed her into the language has not schooled her vocabulary. 

The man gives a nonchalant glance to the sack, his head turned downwards with boredom playing on his face. Unlike his usual disposition for a well tailored suit he opted for a thermal coat and layers of cotton underneath. Neapolitan winters may not summon snow, even at night, but the chill is enough to warrant warm outerwear. Not to mention the air-conditioned interiors of most grocery shops.

“Something about heart health,” Prosciutto says the words as though they are of no consequence. Focaccia glances once more at the price, thinking of how much flour they have left. 

“Just take it,” her husband commands, already turning to disappear into the next alleyway of items. 

Huffing, Focaccia places the little bag into their cart. At least it is good for her indecisiveness. If Prosciutto deems something good enough then it must be, right?

Following close behind, she pushes the cart aimlessly looking at what he picks up and snatching a couple snacks on the way. Other shoppers stay out of their path most of the time but Focaccia catches the eye of a lady and smiles. The pitiable woman’s oculars shift from the towering, uncouth figure behind her before easing into reciprocating her expression and moving on. Despite the quickness with which she made herself scarce, Focaccia spotted her trepidation towards Prosciutto, commiserating her.  

Fluttering about from one area to the next, they work slowly into fulfilling the list of standard monthly items. Illuminated by the harsh fluorescent lights and accompanied by soft but boring music, Focaccia feels a sense of peace for their mostly idyllic life they have been able to lead. If she tries hard enough, she could pretend their lives are almost normal. 

Once the necessary items are procured, the pair wait patiently in line behind a few other groups of people. Mothers, daughters, uncles, and grandparents, go about their daily lives. She’s no stranger to hushed murmurs of the spoken language but Focaccia sometimes wishes she knew exactly what they were saying. 

Eyeing the cashier she notices a dark haired man working behind the counter rather enthusiastically and unusually fast. He’s talkative from the way animated expressions and loud voice that emanates from him. Or perhaps that is customary for Italians. 

“Can you pay?” She pleads to Prosciutto, the man looking the other way, makes a non-committal noise of agreement. Having been bad at math most of her life, Focaccia hates counting her money by the cashier and holding the line. It’s humiliating, especially with people more than happy to point out how slow she is. 

Moving to stand out of view behind her husband, she lets the cart stay by his waist as the line moves along. Prosciutto is much less awkward than herself, usually making conversation if someone speaks first. Focaccia always finds herself stumbling with her broken Italian before they start speaking in English out of pity or some such thing. 

Only when it’s their turn does she walk to the other end of the counter, attending to the groceries being bagged. There is the usual sound of the cashier’s voice greeting Prosciutto but the man says something unfamiliar that she assumes to be for conversation. At Prosciutto’s silence she looks up to see his utter shock, eyes widening for a fraction of a second and lips apart. It’s a rare sight and Focaccia barely has a moment to understand before his face contorts to an extreme grimace. But what follows is most certainly never something she would expect, especially in such a public setting. 

Hauling himself over the counter with his tall frame, Prosciutto doesn’t have to reach far before taking the poor cashier by the neck for a swift punch to the horror of those in line. The commotion escalates fast and Focaccia fears what would happen if she lets it get worse. 

“Stop! Stop!” Yelling, she pulls him back by the waist, hoping the damage isn’t too bad. It’s strange, he’s never acted this way before. Whatever was said to him must have struck a nerve. “What’s going on?!” She demands from him, now noticing the poor disheveled worker and the look of pure hatred in Prosciutto’s eyes. He does not even show this much emotion when he’s killing a target. 

Instead of answering her questions, Prosciutto spits Italian curses at his opponent before being pulled outside by his wife. She carries the two grocery bags, worried about whether they’d be banned from coming back. “What happened?! What did he say?” She would be worried about whether he paid for their groceries or not but her priorities were just reshuffled. 

“Let’s not talk about these things here,” he replies, taking both of the bags from her before a protective arm on her lower back ushers her to their car. It’s clear Prosciutto is still angry and agitated from his encounter. The usual scowl on his face is much deeper than she’s used to, and the knuckles on the steering wheel are white from his grip. She’s only so thankful that his frustration does not manifest itself in his driving lest they run a red light. 

Dinner is quiet, something quickly put together with some of the groceries they bought earlier. And Focaccia is too nervous to ask what weighs on Prosciutto’s mind. His eyes soften when they meet hers, his blues a particularly mysterious shade and her browns twinkling with silent questions but he seems unable to meet them for long. 

After their meal, Prosciutto settles into bed, watching her comb her hair with an air of disdain still hanging around him. Sitting beside him, she puts an arm around his back, feeling the muscles relax. “What did he say, Prosciutto,” she asks. 

“...It doesn’t matter,” comes his moody but defeated reply, clearly irritated from being reminded of the conversation. 

“Please,” Focaccia says. “I have to know.” 

Sighing, Prosciutto’s body seems to deflate, letting go of all the anger repressed inside his body all evening. “He said…something derogatory.” Prosciutto opts not to translate the vile words.

“About you?” Focaccia says in confusion. 

“I wouldn’t have cared so much if it were about me.” 

Staring at him with silent understanding, Focaccia moves closer. “You didn’t have to, you know.” 

This seems to anger him further. “And let him say whatever he wants about my wife?” 

“I mean you don’t have to protect me,” she says with a smile. “I didn’t survive this long here on my own for nothing. Or in the west for that matter. I may not speak the language, but I can tell. It’s in their eyes.”

She finds something very rare within his eyes, a speck of melancholy as if understanding only a miniscule amount of her experiences for the first time. And it renders him somewhat speechless. 

“Tell me,” she says. “Did you attack him just for me or would you have done that if he said that about someone else?” 

At her question he thinks before answering. “Anyone else and he would have earned a glare and a dismissal. I admit,” he says with the voice of a man who is entirely not sorry for his actions, “the punch was personal.” 

Smiling fondly, she hugs him close. 

“Don’t stop me if it happens again,” he murmurs. Again… because it is something she will simply have to live with. 

A thought occurs to her. “Maybe it is you who will have to experience it when we are in Egypt,” she says. “Don’t worry, I will protect you then.” 

The words have their intended effect and Prosciutto chuckles somewhat forlornly. 

“Or,” he suggests. “We could find the CEO of the grocery store and blackmail him for money,” the mischievous smirk in his mouth beckons. 

Focaccia lets go, looking at him with some excitement and disbelief before cackling with laughter. “I like that.”

Bonus A/N: The reason why I was hesitant about posting this is because of the subject matter being sensitive and all its implications. I have not thought of every possibility or the best interpretation for it. But most importantly I wanted to emphasize Prosciutto not being some white savior trope and Focaccia knowing how to deal with them in her own way. it's just great to see Pros jumping someone for disrespecting his wife. It's not written here but it's possible he went back and stalked that dude to kill him or worse LOL

[adamsvanrhijn]

17, 24 for writers’ ask :)

Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

i mean... yes?? i feel like that's an inherent part of the sharing process, it stops being just yours once you share it (which is why taking everything back last year was emotionally effective for me)

but i don't necessarily know how that is and what the nuances are... obviously as a writer there is both. (i feel like) people miss things i put in there, or, they find things i didn't mean to put in there but perhaps did.

i think the main thing about my motivation with fanfic in particular is i write literally just to get words specifically out of my head, it's only very very rarely that i like, sit down and intentionally come up with an idea about something to write or try to write to a specific concept/idea (which is why prompt memes frequently go badly for me) without having literally a string of words or a phrase or something to go with it, and sometimes that makes me really trip up when i start sharing it with other people... but it's a double edge sword because i benefit greatly from the external validation of people liking it and wanting to read more

if i were doing this for praise or attention or to monopolize a shipping tag and forcefully impose my views upon the rest of the fandom with over saturation as has been speculated i would have finished everything by now lmfao

to normal well adjusted people that one should not really be a surprise imho.

i also just. love characters and ships and stories a lot, and i think fanfic is a good format to present textual/literary analysis in a way that is relatable and easy to consume... demonstration of what i perceive and am picking out from the canon, which is fulfilling to me too, and obviously i like very much when people agree with my arguments (in the rhetoric sense) in this regard. i don't Need others to agree with me, i am perfectly happy being right all on my own 😌 (and also revisiting and adjusting my opinions with new information or new angles which if you're paying attention you would have noticed many times over), but it feels good when i change people's minds or draw their attention to things that they missed before. i think that's really rewarding and i appreciate the feedback when people say I've improved their experience in some way whether it is representing something they relate to or prompting them to see something that already exists in a different way that makes them happier and/or more satisfied with it. i am glad i can do that for people.

i think two other things are like.

one. i actually talk like this... like my meta and commentary (which is another genre of writing i am pleased has been well received + is also and much more explicitly about making an argument that something can and/or should be seen in a certain way) are usually in a tone i also use conversationally.

and two

i am like. in terms of how i perceive myself. incredibly basic, i do not consider my personality or interests to be particularly special or anything, and i don't think very highly of myself as a rule. like i think other people are frequently doing more interesting and valuable things than i am... obviously i can recognize that objectively the way i engage with things is out of the ordinary, but that's literally just how my brain works, i get deeply invested in and excited about things and it manifests in these research+pattern finding ways, i'm not like, trying to... usually there just isn't another way i can think to do or make myself to do something

like i am just talking.... that meme about saying words recreationally. and i say things definitively because i believe them or think they have value in the moment, and i try to cite sources and construct logical arguments because that's what my brain needs to support ideas and take things on board and i want to justify what i am thinking to myself and to others. but i really don't think i should have to say this every single time or always caveat that other people can interpret things differently or be right (Or be neither right nor wrong) about things too... I've tried to be better about this since the hooplah last year but i really don't want to be responsible for other people's emotional state about whether what they believe is correct or true or not, i am much too occupied with my own. like i don't think it's fair to expect me to do that. and a lot of what i share here and in fic is me trying to sort out what i think or believe and making sure my thoughts and beliefs are structurally sound. because that's how my brain works.

like i want to know a lot. and sometimes i think people assume that means i think they should know a lot too but that's rarely the case (exceptions include like. homophobia.), i realize that my way of approaching things is weird and too much for most people. but i don't want people to feel like they need to engage with me in the exact way i do things and i don't want people to feel attacked when i add things i know or bring up alternate angles when ideas they agree with are presented to me.

that's just not why i am here and it really hurts when people assume that it is. i really struggle when i feel like others don't understand what i am trying to say (which is another reason i try to back everything up). but i don't know how to be or do anything else because this is just how my brain works and it's also the only place i can let it work that way.

24 answered :-)

[oleksned]

Christ and atheists.

It would seem that what can an atheist and a Christian have in common in life goals, aspirations, and desires?

Are there any points of contact in the worldview of an atheist and a Christian?

Let's imagine an ordinary atheist who does not recognize any religion or gods. A person who professes a completely material view of life and has absolutely no interest in the teachings of Christ, in fact, whether he realizes it or not, lives for the sake of what is the cornerstone of Christ's teachings!

Incredible, but true!

🤔🤔🤔:⁠-⁠)

Absolutely any unbeliever always dreams of being loved by his colleagues at work.

Every non-believer always dreams of being loved by all his relatives.

Every atheist dreams of being loved by his friends.

Wherever the most ardent atheist goes, he is always happy to be shown love.

And not just any love!

An atheist feels the greatest joy and gratitude when they receive love and support, even when they have made a mistake or done wrong.

What do you call this kind of love?

Unconditional love!

When, despite our mistakes, we continue to be loved! To love without reasons and conditions, like a mother loves her child.

Happiness is in an abundance of love, and great happiness is in an abundance of unconditional love!

All atheists, like all people, seek, strive, and hope for the love of others.

What happens if an atheist is surrounded by people who do not love him?

If he is hated at work, in his family, among his friends?

A person can commit suicide, and this sometimes happens. That is, an atheist cannot live without love. And this is an indisputable fact.

Friends, the Gospel says that God is love!

If an atheist cannot live without love, and God is love, then an atheist cannot live without God?

Does the life of an atheist become meaningless without love, that is, without God?

Christ taught that the most important thing in our lives is to seek the Kingdom of God.

If God is love, then the Kingdom of God is the Kingdom of Love, i.e. the world in which love reigns!

This is the world that every atheist dreams of finding in his daily life.

They dream of having love in their family, at work, and in all their relationships, and not just love, but unconditional love!

The atheist sincerely wants love to reign in all areas of his personal life.

The dominance of love is the Kingdom of Love - the world in which love is the queen.

So it seems that the atheist is trying to establish the Kingdom of Love in his life, which is the Kingdom of God?

It seems to me that we have come to the logical conclusion that despite the differences in worldview and attitude to religion, atheists and Christians are united by common desires and aspirations, such as the desire to seek the meaning of life in love and to find happiness in love.

Both atheists and Christians seek to find unconditional love, which is God.  The presence of love makes the lives of all people, without exception, joyful and fulfilling.

I wanted to draw the reader's attention to the extraordinary importance of unconditional love in the lives of both believers and non-believers, and to express the idea that all people seek love and that without it their lives can become meaningless. I think that a deeper understanding of the idea of love and its importance can inspire and motivate people to have more harmonious and friendly relationships with others.

The truth is that each of us sincerely wants to live in a boundless ocean of love!

But we must always remember that someone has to fill this ocean with love, otherwise it will turn into a lifeless desert!

Therefore, we must try not only to seek love from others, but also to learn to give unconditional love to all living beings.

In my opinion, to be a source of love is to be a Christian!

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Stu Macher

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You met Stu when you were both in middle school. The two of you became friends purely because Stu wouldn’t let you not become his friend.

- So the two of you grew up and entered highschool together. You had a bit of a crush on him but never said anything about it, thinking that he only liked you as a friend. Oh how wrong you were....

- It’s sophomore year when you get your first real boyfriend. Stu isn’t happy about it.

- It’s obvious to see that he disapproves when you tell him that you’re going on a date. He treats you coldly throughout the entire day, not as bubbly as he usually is. While it does seem odd, you chalk it up to him feeling protective of you and not knowing how to articulate his worries.

- The next day, it’s as though nothing has happened. He nonchalantly asks you about your date but doesn’t seem all too happy to hear that it went well. You figure you’re looking into it too much.

- As time goes on, on the outside, it seems like he’s warmed up to the idea of you dating the boy, though you’re sure it’s mainly because you weren’t planning on getting rid of him anytime soon. But on the inside, it’s driving him crazy.

- Theres an obvious yet subtle rivalry between your boyfriend and him, whether one sided; at first, or not. Sometimes you wouldn’t even notice but your boyfriend sure did.

- The certain way Stu would pop up when you were hanging out, the way he called you over to him when you were trying to talk, the way he touched you; it was like he was sending a message behind his cheerful smile. Can’t you see who’s more important to her.

- He hugs you for too long, enjoys it too much. You thought your boyfriend was going crazy. You’d assure him that you were just friends, that you’d been friends for a long time and that he was just reading into it too much. That that was just Stu being, well, Stu.

- But your boyfriend wasn’t too far off. Stu had feelings for you. He had a big crush that hadn’t let up for years, one which was slowly eating away at him. He hadn’t wanted to ruin your friendship, especially when he didn’t even know if you wanted to date anyone.

- Though, regardless of whether or not you thought your boyfriend was being silly; you talked to Stu about it. He makes jokes, teasingly promising to be on his best behavior. You aren’t even aware that you’ve given him all he needs to know. He is getting to the boy and everything is working out perfectly.

- In the following days, Stu ups his antics and your boyfriend finally loses it, starting an argument which evolves into a full on fight and ends in you breaking up with him. Single once more.

- The next day at school, Stu approaches you like normal and immediately notes how tired and bothered you look. Without even thinking, you relinquish the details and he comforts you, saying that he could tell he wasn’t good for you. He does feel bad, seeing you so upset, but at the same time, he’s happy that you’re finally done with the other boy.

- It’s a week or so later that he confesses his feelings to you, wanting to give you enough time to get over the jerk. Having waited this long, he didn’t want his plan to be foiled by post breakup confusion.

- His parents are out of town so you’re staying the night, the two of you laying side by side on his bed, dressed in your comfiest clothes. You’re watching some lousy made for TV movie when he shoves your shoulder lightly, prompting you to look at him. He’s now leaning on his elbow and facing you. You shoot him a curious look and he speaks.

“We’ve known each other for a long time, right? And you know that I care about you a lot. Well, the thing is.... I care about you a lot more than you think and I want us to be even closer than we are now, ya know? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I... I love you and I want to know if you feel the same.” He rambles nervously, eyes focused on his fingers which are tracing along the blanket beneath the two of you.

- It certainly comes as a shock though you can’t say you’re completely surprised. You don’t know what to say so you let your actions speak for you. You move closer to him, hands grasping his cheeks as his own hands find your hips, pulling you closer as he tilts his head up and let’s you press your lips to his.

- He pulls you closer until you’re practically on top of him, eagerly kissing you until you both need to break apart for air. When you do, you’re both panting yet he smiles, pecking your lips and saying he’ll “take that as a yes”.

- Congratulations, you’ve earned yourself an adorable goofball who also kills people.

- He hangs all over you in public. You can never get him off of you although, would you ever really want to?

- Hand kisses. He presses his lips to your knuckles whenever he grabs your hand.

- You arent allowed to walk to class alone; he won’t let you. It is his duty to walk you and he will fulfill it.

- He rarely says your full name. Instead, he’ll either call you a pet name; usually babe or darling, or whatever nickname comes from your full name. Even if your names short, he’ll wind up making it longer just because he can.

- Long makeout sessions.

- He always gets this lovestruck look on his face whenever you show up; no matter what was going on before you arrived. His day instantly becomes like ten times better at the sight of you.

- Getting to borrow his Walkman. He makes a very strategically constructed mixtape, filled with songs that the two of you love so that both of you can listen and enjoy.

- Tasteful groping and butt smacks.

- Going to all his parties.

- He is such a baby when he gets sick. He completely overreacts, whining, moaning and acting like he’s dying even though he’s just got a mild cold.

- He tries to make your hugs last for as long as they can, especially when you’re saying goodbye.

- He’s constantly trying to make you laugh, mostly through bad jokes that will either get you to laugh through their stupidity or have you rolling your eyes.

- Teasing you is his favorite hobby. He likes doing what he’s good at and what he’s good at is being a little shit.

- Sometimes he just randomly approaches you with little gifts; mainly flowers he’s picked you or something similar. It’s usually either because you look like you need some cheering up or because he’s trying to apologize for a “stupidity leak”.

- Big boy likes being a big spoon. He’s tall so the two of you fit together perfectly.

- Gettting randomly thrown over his shoulder. Sometimes he’ll just carry you off as though you weren’t going somewhere or having a conversation with someone. Or he’ll act like nothings out of the ordinary while talking to the person you were talking to.

- You always have a seat ready for you ...on his lap.

- He leans on you all the time, whether it be him resting his chin or arm against your shoulder or him full on laying between your legs with his head against your stomach.

- Getting... the tongue. The man is constantly flashing it at you. A part of you thinks he’s trying to send a message, the other part of you just thinks he’s a dog.

- On that note, he’s probably licked the entire side of your face before, especially when you aren’t paying attention to him.

- He craves attention; it’s like a drug to him. He loves having your eyes on him, and when they aren’t? He’ll give them a reason to be.

- He’s sort of insecure so you fawning over or complimenting someone else immediately makes him uneasy. His ex girlfriend dumped him for a football player and he’s kinda scared that you’ll do the same.

- He tries to reassure you whenever you seem nervous or apprehensive, usually through jokes. Not sure about an idea of his? Well, what if he makes some action movie reference and promises to protect you as he makes karate motions with his hands?

- The boy has no subtly. He’s always blunt and upfront with what he’s trying to say so you’re never confused by any “insinuations” that he makes.

- Getting random, unexpected visits from him, usually when you’re at work or home alone.

- This man is a cheerleader when it comes to you. He’s always hyping you up and complimenting everything you do.

- He’s constantly bragging about you; he’s so proud.

- Movie dates. He’s not as completely obsessed with horror as Billy is but he still enjoys sitting with his girl, watching a film and trying to “subtly” feel you up.

- Getting close to Billy by default. The two of them are constantly together so you wind up being costantly around him as well.

- Hanging out at the fountain with him and his friends.

- His parents are out of town a lot so you have the whole house to yourselves most of the time.

- He’s got a farmhouse on the outskirts of town with the perfect view of the sunset/sunrise. You don’t know how many times you and him have laid out on the grass, cozied up next to each other and watching the sky change colors.

- Stealing his sweaters when it gets cold. You should see his face when he sees you wearing them, it’s the perfect example of a lovestruck expression.

- Jaw and neck kisses. He doesn’t care if he’s giving or receiving; he loves them either way.

- Inside jokes.

- Having to stifle a laugh when he mocks or makes fun of someone. It’s so stupid that you can’t help but chuckle.

- He may not seem like a very jealous person but whew boy. For someone who is constantly bragging about how great you are, he hates other people actually seeing it and admitting that he’s right.

- He’s a protective boy, he hates the thought of you being hurt, upset, or take advantage of. And he’s like so buff, he’s got you covered.

- Defending him whenever someone won’t let up on him. He isn’t very articulate so if someone needs to be shut down verbally, you do it yourself.

- Local sensitive baby caves under peer pressure. It’s incredibly easy to make him do what you ask; thankfully, you aren’t trying to make him do something that will get him in trouble.

- He doesn’t quite grasp the art of being tactful so you’ll oftentimes have to interrupt or stop him from saying something.

- Since he always seems to say the wrong thing or do something stupid, the two of you; most likely, have more than a few petty arguments. They usually aren’t anything worse than a little bickering.

- He always does something adorable that makes you forgive him whether it be using puppy dog eyes on you or telling bad jokes until you can’t help but warm back up to him.

- Not a day goes by where he doesn’t say he loves you. He needs you to know!!

- He doesn’t really talk about the future but he’s planning on marrying you as soon as he can and that’s a fact. The man is in love.

[depressing-debbie]

Fluff alphabet for eren please!! I love your writing :)

Thank you!! I haven't written for Eren very much, but I'll do my best!! <3

Post time skip!!

As always, I'm using the prompt by @snk-warriors

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

His favorite activity would probably be late night driving, either blasting music or just enjoying the quiet. For special occasions, he’d get reservations at a nice restaurant or maybe set up a fancy candlelit dinner himself (as long as he didn’t make the food). In general, he really just wants to be around his SO.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

I think he first noticed his SO’s eyes, and more particularly, the emotion and spirit in them. He loves watching when they’re passionate and their eyes light up, he thinks it’s absolutely stunning. He just loves the fire in their personality.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He would be a bit uncomfortable or at least unsure at first, but we all know he has his fair share of experience with this himself. So, he would really just wrap them up in his arms and sit with them silently, his way of protecting them. Once they were calmed down a bit, he would ask if they want to talk about it or just keep sitting together, and he’d be happy to do either if it means not having to see them upset.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He doesn’t really have any plans for the future. He knows that he can’t make any guarantees about what’s going to happen, and it scares him a bit to think about making plans that he can’t fulfill. When he thinks about the future, all he really sees is him and his SO together, whatever that means, and it’s enough to make him happy.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

For the most part, he’d be somewhat dominant in the relationship, wanting to protect his SO. But there are also times where he just needs to go with the flow, be held and reminded that everything will be alright. So in that way, it’s somewhat equal.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He has a bit of a temper, but not in any way that really matters. They probably bicker sometimes about small things, but he doesn’t really hold grudges, and he’d never instigate a fight about something important. 

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s incredibly grateful for his SO and everything they’ve done for him. He knows he’s lucky to be with them, and he reminds them constantly of how lucky he is and how much he appreciates them. 

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

I’m honestly not sure. He wants to be completely honest with them, absolutely, but he has trouble being totally vulnerable like that. He would never keep secrets that could genuinely hurt their relationship, but he’s also probably not completely honest about some of his past and his experiences. Maybe over time he would feel comfortable enough to share it with his SO, but he might just not want to talk about it.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

His SO absolutely inspired him. He’s a bit of a pessimist by nature, and being with them, he slowly starts to let himself see the good in everything, and maybe even have hope for the future. Knowing that he has someone supporting him, and that he was lucky enough to find someone so amazing, helps him to become just a bit more optimistic.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He does get jealous sometimes, to be honest. He knows how amazing his SO is, and it makes him uncomfortable to watch other guys notice it as well. He only steps in if they look uncomfortable, at which point he will literally scare the other person away. He trusts his SO, so he would never get mad at them or start to doubt them.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Eren likes to live in the moment, and their first kiss reflected that. He probably thought about it for a little while leading up, but he didn’t have any kind of solid plans. He just looked over that them one day and thought about how stunning they are, and decided that it was the right moment. He absolutely asked if he could kiss them, and didn’t lean in until they agreed. It was small, but passionate and loving. He’s a great kisser, and it becomes a very regular thing in their relationship.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He shows his appreciation for them constantly, but actually saying the words “I love you” would be really hard for him at first. He waits a bit longer than most people would, but that just means that when he does say it, they know he means it, one hundred percent. He probably wasn’t planning to say it when he did, it just made sense in the moment.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

The idea of marriage scares him a bit, to be honest. He’s absolutely committed to his SO, but he’s afraid of getting married without having any idea what’s going to happen in his future. In the end, though, especially if his SO wants to, he would absolutely want to get married. He’d plan a very romantic proposal with roses, maybe even somewhere more public if he thinks his SO would be comfortable with it. There probably wouldn’t be much of a change in their relationship after getting married, but he would secretly enjoy the added little domestic dynamic of getting to call each other a spouse.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

He definitely calls them babe or sweetheart, maybe even “love” when he’s feeling particularly romantic. He also definitely has a joke nickname that he teases them with.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not actually very obvious when he’s starting to fall in love. He’s always affectionate with his SO, so they probably won’t notice much of a difference. And the other people around him definitely can’t tell because he would never talk about it. His SO is only going to find out when he decides it’s the right time to actually express his feelings.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He’s pretty upfront about it, and he loves getting to introduce his SO to his friends. And he’s not obnoxious about PDA, but a general low level of affection in public doesn’t bother him at all.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

He has a really sarcastic sense of humor, and it might even seem a little bit rude to other people, but his SO thinks it’s hilarious. They know he’s never serious, so the two of them go back and forth with witty comebacks and teasing jokes.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s very romantic, and I think it’s pretty equal between cliche and creative, but definitely leaning more towards cliche. He’s definitely a roses and candlelit dinner kind of guy, but he also just wants to make his SO happy, so he’d be more than willing to come up with something super creative to make them smile.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He will support his SO through absolutely anything. He doesn’t want to lie to them when they ask for his honest opinion, but he really does believe in them completely. He’s cheering them on no matter what, and he knows they’re going to succeed because they’re amazing.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He probably does want to spice things up a lot. They probably have some basic level of routine, but he gets pretty bored when he falls into a very specific set routine with his life, so he loves trying new things. He especially loves that he gets to try new things with his SO, because that’s just one more way that their life experiences intertwine.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows his SO completely, and he empathizes really deeply. He doesn’t always understand what’s happening in their brain, he’s not a mind reader, but he can usually tell how they’re feeling, and he knows how he can cheer them up. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is really important to him. Once they reach a certain point in their relationship, he’s committed, one hundred percent. He allows himself to lean on them and depend on them being there. Losing them would be really hard for him.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He secretly loves taking pictures with his SO. If they tell him they want to take a picture, he’ll roll his eyes and tease them for being so caught up with social media, but it actually makes him happy. He likes having little memories together that he can physically keep with him and look back on later.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s very affectionate. It’s pretty 50/50 on whether he would initiate cuddling or not, but he definitely enjoys it. He loves being physically close to his SO, and getting to put his arms around them to make them feel safe.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He’s really not a yearning type. He definitely misses them when they’re gone, but they’re both pretty busy in general, so it’s not out of the ordinary. He would want to check up on them while they’re gone, but otherwise, he’s just happy to give them a big hug when they get back and listen to all of their stories.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He is absolutely willing to do whatever it takes to keep their relationship strong and healthy. His priority is that his SO is happy, whatever that means. 

[melanielocke]

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 12

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite

Alastair clutched his sharpest dagger in his hand as he followed Thomas to the ruins. He’d been carrying it with him, just in case. His cousin Jem was not fond of his dagger collection, but Alastair had found the daggers could calm him down. He liked moving twirling them in his hand, he liked the way the grip felt in his hands. He didn’t hurt himself, and even if he did he would never use his precious daggers. It was an odd interest, one Alastair had held since he was about twelve and had entered a decorative weapon’s shop with Cordelia by accident. His father had called it all rubbish, nothing compared to cortana, and while that was true, Alastair’s eye had fallen onto a beautiful, but simple and relatively affordable dagger. He’d asked his mother if he could have it for his birthday. She’d warned him, it wasn’t a toy, these were for decoration, but he did keep them for decoration, hanging them on his bedroom wall, occasionally holding them. They weren’t meant for use except under unusual circumstances like this.

He understood Jem’s concern, as a psychiatrist he must have seen many patients who struggled with self harm, but Alastair never had. With the current circumstances, he was glad to have something to defend himself with just in case. He hated not knowing what was coming though. He hated this constant fear that Thomas was right, that something was coming for him next and Alastair had no idea how to stop it.

He would never admit it to anyone but himself, but he was in love with Thomas. It felt a lot like when he’d just started his relationship with Charles, yet also different. It was wondrous feeling, falling in love. Wanting to be near him all the time when Alastair usually preferred solitude, wanting to see him happy and doing anything to make sure he was. The warm, fuzzy feeling when Thomas smiled at him. But there was a reason people called it falling in love, and Alastair had learnt by now that after the fall came the landing.

He’d do anything to keep Thomas safe. He had no idea what he’d do if he died. He didn’t think he could bear it. If anyone deserved to live, to be happy, it was Thomas. He wondered if he should tell Thomas how he felt. He knew now Thomas was gay, but if Thomas liked him, would he ask him advice for coming out to his parents? Then of course Alastair had confided in Charles, had asked him for advice all the time. He’d taken his advice to heart once, thinking Charles was so much older and wiser and knew what was best.

The ruins looked abandoned. Alastair knew there were plenty of ruins in Scotland, but he hadn’t heard of any being at walking distance. Lucie had come here often enough that she must have known about them, her grandmother lived here year round. Usually, ruins did not appear out of nowhere. He could make out the outline of what must have been a building once, an upright wall here and there.

‘This must have been a castle once,’ Alastair said. ‘Considering how big it is. Where are we?’

‘I’m guessing we’re still in the woods,’ Thomas said. ‘Perhaps it’s like in Beauty and the Beast and people are enchanted to not find it.’

Alastair couldn’t roll his eyes enough. ‘First of all, in Beauty and the Beast there was nothing keeping people from finding the castle, they just never did because they did not leave their village. Not that any of that made sense. And if people are enchanted not to find this place, why would we?’

‘I’m sure there’s a story somewhere that describes this,’ Thomas said. ‘Perhaps it can only be found under certain circumstances, on certain days or hours. Oh, there’s an inscription here.’

Alastair walked over to see where Thomas was pointing. ‘It’s in Scottish Gaelic, I imagine. I can’t read that,’ Alastair said.

‘Me neither,’ Thomas admitted. ‘But I’ll take a picture. Perhaps we can decipher at home.’

Alastair wasn’t sure it would be important but it was worth a try. Mysterious ruins no one knew were there had to hold some sort of important clue, right? Alastair remembered what they’d discussed about the possibility of people getting trapped in places by a supernatural entity. Was this what it looked like? He tried not to think about the possibility of being trapped here with no escape.

He took out his phone. No cell reception, but that didn’t surprise him. He took some pictures too, making sure to look at every part of the ruins and see if there was anything of interest. He remembered it all, of course, but being able to show people pictures was easier than dragging them all into his memory.

‘I think there’s a cellar down here,’ Thomas said, standing at a trap door.

Alastair leaned down and tried to open it, but it was stuck. He yanked as hard as he could but no effect.

‘You’re stronger than me,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps you should try.’

Thomas leaned down and started pulling. He really was muscular and Alastair caught himself staring at Thomas’ upper arms as he pulled. Part of him longed to touch those arms, those shoulders.

‘Did you start working out?’ Alastair asked.

Thomas looked up. ‘Yes, why?’

‘I’ve been trying to understand how you’re suddenly so muscular.’

‘Some muscle came with my growth spurt,’ Thomas admitted. ‘But I started working out with James too. I found it enjoyable. Do you?’

‘Not lately. I used to train with wooden swords with Cordelia, and I do try to keep active, but I’ve never really gone to the gym. Although I guess it would be entertaining to watch attractive men work out.’

‘You like muscular men, then?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair wondered what he could answer without giving too much away. ‘I’m not necessarily into body builders or the like, but I do appreciate some muscle. It’s not the main thing I look for in a partner, it’s not all about appearance.’

‘So, what do you look for?’ Thomas asked.

‘I like being able to spend time with someone, have fun with him,’ Alastair said. ‘My ex never took me anywhere, it was mostly making out in his apartment and for him it was very much about sex and about fulfilling his needs. But I would like someone who’s not ashamed of me and takes me places. Like going to a museum, or have dinner somewhere. I guess going to a museum is not a very typical date, but I would really like that.’

‘Really? I’ve always loved art and history museums,’ Thomas said.

Alastair guessed perhaps someday he could ask Thomas to go to a museum with him. It made him love Thomas even more, knowing he didn’t think it was weird Alastair wanted to go a museum, knowing he would like that as well. Charles had always thought he was weird, in a way that said “I like you, but other people won’t”. Or perhaps it was more like "I tolerate you but only as long as you can satisfy me."

‘Not everything has to be outside though,’ Alastair continued. ‘I dislike crowds. I would also like to be at home with someone, and just do nice things, cuddle on the couch, watch a movie, play a game.’

He’d missed that with Charles. The best he’d gotten was watching a movie together at his place, but even then Charles had been impatient to finish and start having sex. Charles had never taken him anywhere in public, claiming it was for his sake because what if someone he knew would see them together? But Alastair didn’t want to hide, and he didn’t want a relationship that was all about sex, or all about someone else’s needs. He wanted to feel loved and appreciated. He knew it wasn’t very realistic that would happen though. He wasn’t an easy person to love.

‘I think I’d like that too,’ Thomas said. ‘I never really thought about that, to be honest. I never thought beyond having crushes on boys and maybe going on dates. But it really sounds nice, going to a museum with someone you like.’

Alastair wondered if Thomas would like to go to a museum with him someday. They’d walked through most of the ruins, and beyond the inscription and the closed trapdoor Alastair couldn’t find anything of interest right now. Nor could he explain how they’d ended up here.

A howl interrupted their conversation. It was a loud sound, the howl of a wolf.

‘Come, let’s get out of here,’ Alastair said softly, grabbing Thomas’ hand.

They took the same route back, and not much later another howl pierced the air. Alastair wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but he held his dagger ready to attack, Thomas’ hand in his free hand, gently pulling him along with him. They wouldn’t get separated. They would make it back. They weren’t trapped.

There were no wolves in Scotland, no ordinary ones at least. They hadn’t been in a very long time. There was an old legend of the wulver, but as far as Alastair knew those were friendly and could sometimes be found fishing. Werewolves, though, were another story. In old stories, werewolves were villagers who went into the woods to change into a wolf. Some drank water from the footprint of a wolf, others wore a belt made of wolf fur. They returned to their villages to kill. They were extremely rare nowadays, the methods of becoming one lost. Many that remained no longer changed back into a human, remaining wolf forever.

Thomas gripped his hand tightly, nails digging into his skin.

‘Tom,’ Alastair whispered.

‘Over there.’

Alastair looked in the direction Thomas pointed at and after blinking a few times he saw it too. Even after training with Risa he still needed to make a conscious effort to see. It walked on its hind legs, using its front paws for support at times. Not quite human in built, but not quite wolf either. It was covered in dark gray hair, some bare patches and dark red stains here and there. Its eyes were a bright yellow, its mouth was opened just a little, sharp teeth visible.

Alastair gently tugged on Thomas’ hand, indicating he wanted to continue. He didn’t dare speak. The werewolf hadn’t seen them yet. Alastair hoped they could get past it without being seen. He could be quiet, he could be careful. Thomas followed, taking careful steps, and glancing back to the werewolf every once in a while. It lifted its nose into the air, sniffing in the cold air. Alastair didn’t feel any wind, couldn’t tell if they were on the safe side of it. Likely, there wasn’t any wind and the wolf could smell them. Its head turned, yellow eyes looking into Alastair’s own.

‘Run,’ he whispered.

He kept his grip on Thomas’ hand. They wouldn’t get separated. He wouldn’t let Thomas die. They ran, and Thomas’ long legs easily pulled him along. Werewolves were fast though, Alastair didn’t know if they could stay ahead of it and soon enough he felt something yank Thomas away, forcing him to let go of his hand.

Thomas had fallen onto the ground, the werewolf trailing around him, claws ready to attack. Alastair gripped his dagger firmly and turned back, running straight at the creature.

‘Alastair, get away from here!’ Thomas yelled.

Alastair plunged the dagger into the back of the wolf. The creature howled in pain, and Alastair pulled back his dagger before it turned around and hit him with its claw. Alastair fell over, and he felt warm blood on his shoulder. It wasn’t a deep cut, it couldn’t be, but he was bleeding. The wolf stalked towards him, careful as if to sense if he was still dangerous. It wasn’t dead. It didn’t seem too bothered by the injury Alastair had inflicted. Of course, werewolves were fast healers, only silver was a weakness. And cortana, of course, but he didn’t have the sword. His dagger wasn’t made out of silver.

He scrambled to his feet, dodging another attack from the wolf’s claws. Thomas was behind him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along. They ran, but they could only make few steps until the wolf crashed into him with its full body strenght behind it, causing both of them to fall over. Alastair held his dagger in front of him, desperate for some protection even if the dagger couldn’t hold the wolf away for long. As it slashed with its claw, Alastair struck too. He caught the paw with his dagger, severing it from the body. Warm blood gushed out, but only for a moment. The paw fell. When it hit the ground, Alastair could make out the rough shape of a pale human hand. The wound closed almost immediately, but the paw didn’t grow back. Even a fast healing werewolf couldn’t grow back severed limbs. Good to know.

The wolf came closer, giving him no room to get up or escape. He threw himself in front of Thomas in a hopeless attempt to keep him safe, to be a shield to him. He still held up his dagger. If he was lucky, he could cut off the other paw, but he didn’t think he would be able to behead the wolf with just this dagger.

Then it collapsed onto the ground, losing its body hair in the process and transforming into a naked human man.

‘Alastair!’

Behind where the wolf had been was Cordelia, cortana in her hand.

‘I was so worried!’ she yelled. ‘Where have you been?’

‘Layla,’ he said. ‘You killed the werewolf.’

Alastair scrambled up, and took Thomas’ hand to help him up too. He inspected the body, thankful it hadn’t collapsed on top of him. Cordelia had slashed through it, the head severed from the body. It was an average looking white man, maybe forty years old, with mousy hair. He had no idea for how long the man had been a wolf, there was no way to tell and the man was naked so he couldn’t date the clothing style either.

‘And just in time,’ Cordelia said. ‘You almost died.’

‘My dagger isn’t made of silver,’ Alastair said. ‘Only so much I could do. Thank you for saving us. Why are you here?’

He noticed Lucie was there too, standing behind Cordelia, clutching one of his daggers. Under normal circumstances, he would be very angry someone had touched his daggers without his permission but considering a werewolf had just tried to kill him and Thomas, he was tolerant. He’d probably be more upset if Lucie had come here unarmed. When they returned home, he should give Lucie another dagger. This one was the first he’d received as a gift, too precious to him and he didn’t want to get blood on it.

‘We came looking for you, of course,’ Cordelia said and Alastair had the sense she was angry with him. ‘You were gone for so long, we figured even you couldn’t stay in the woods for the whole day.’

Alastair frowned. ‘A whole day? What time is it?’

‘We left around four in the afternoon,’ Cordelia said.

‘Four? No, that’s not possible. We left quite early. ’

‘We left around eight,’ Thomas added. ‘There’s no way we’ve been gone for over eight hours when you arrived here.’

He took a picture of the dead human with his phone. Alastair wasn’t so sure that was a good idea but he figured they could have that discussion later, and he could always delete the pictures.

Right now, all Alastair wanted was some bandages on his shoulder, a couple of painkillers and a hot bath. Or maybe a bath would only hurt his shoulders more, in which case he guessed curling up on the couch in a blanket would do.

They took the same route back, Alastair looking around to take in as many details as possible. He could go over them again later and compare the details of the walk today to previous days when nothing strange had happened. It was the same path they’d walked on before, but some things were still different. Alastair still didn’t quite understand why they’d found themselves someplace else today.

They made their way back to the Lightwood’s cottage to find both sets of parents there, looking at them in shock. Sophie looked like she’d been crying, and Alastair felt guilty. He liked Thomas’ mother, he didn’t want to make her cry.

‘Where have you been?’ Tessa asked, her voice stern.

‘Is that blood on cortana?’ Will added.

‘We realized Thomas and Alastair had been gone for a long time,’ Cordelia said, changing her sword back into her necklace. ‘We couldn’t reach them, so we went looking. Just in time, because they were attacked by a werewolf.’

‘It didn’t feel that long to me or Thomas,’ Alastair added. ‘One hour, two maybe. We did find something strange, ruins in the middle of the woods we haven’t encountered before. I took some pictures, but we can go over the memory as well if the pictures aren’t clear.’

‘Later,’ Gideon determined. ‘The four of you look terrible. Is anyone hurt?’

‘The werewolf did claw open my shoulder,’ Alastair said. ‘I don’t think it’s deep, but might need to be cleaned and bandaged.’

‘Come, I’ll take a look,’ Tessa said.

He followed Tessa back to the manor. It was a bit far, but Alastair could still walk and he guessed Tessa had more first aid supplies at the manor.

‘I don’t think it’s bad,’ he said. ‘I feel it, but I can still move my shoulder.’

‘I’ll need to see it before I can make any judgements,’ Tessa said.

They entered the house and Alastair sat down on the couch while Tessa gathered some supplies.

‘Please take off your shirt,’ she said.

Alastair did, wincing in pain. Tessa inspected the injury. ‘It’s been a while since I did this. But I used to work in the emergency room as a doctor before I turned to research.’

Alastair vaguely knew Tessa had a PhD in medical research, but wasn’t sure which field. He didn’t know she’d worked as a doctor before that, although he guessed it made sense she’d started out there before turning to research.

‘You’re right that the wounds are very superficial, but with a wild animal attack I would recommend a rabies shot,’ Tessa said.

‘Right now?’ Alastair asked, very unmotivated to go to a hospital.

‘Not necessarily, but don’t wait too long,’ Tessa said. ‘If you don’t, and you get rabies, you’ll die. I’ll put on some bandages and let you rest.’

When Tessa was finished bandaging the wound, Thomas entered. His brown hair was a little damp and he’d changed into a clean green shirt and blue jeans. He looked worried. Alastair tried to sit up. He was suddenly very aware that he was half naked, his shirt discarded somewhere. It had blood on it, and a hole where the wolf’s claw had carved through it. He should probably throw it away, which was a shame because he liked that shirt. Thomas was staring at him, Alastair could tell. Would he like what he saw?

‘Are you alright?’ Thomas asked.

‘I’m better now, the wound is thoroughly cleaned and covered. Tessa didn’t think stitches would be a good idea considering the infection risk,’ Alastair said.

Thomas sat down next to him, his cheeks a little red. ‘I was so scared today.’

‘I know. Me too.’

‘You threw yourself in front of me.’

‘I wanted to protect you. I had a weapon, you didn’t.’

Thomas put his hand on Alastair’s. ‘You could have died. You had every opportunity to get away while it was focused on me.’

Alastair shook his head. ‘It would have caught up to me. We both would have died if Cordelia hadn’t shown up when she did. I can’t believe our luck.’

‘Can I hug you?’ Thomas asked.

A bit reluctant, Alastair consented. Thomas pulled him into a hug. It was an unfamiliar sensation to Alastair, Thomas warm hands on his back, careful not to touch his injury, feeling him so close, feeling his rough breathing. Thomas’ hair was damp, he smelt of vanilla. He must have taken a quick shower before coming here. Alastair leaned in, his head against Thomas’ chest. Thomas was warm, and it felt nice to be held like this. He felt safe and protected, and for Alastair a sense of safety was scarce to come by.

‘I was scared of dying,’ Thomas said. ‘But watching you die would be far worse.’

‘Don’t be dramatic, Tom,’ Alastair scoffed. ‘You barely know me.’

‘That’s not true. I’ve gotten to know you a lot in the past week, and I have much enjoyed our time together. And I realized… I… I love you.’

Thomas let go of him, as if to await his reaction. Alastair was tempted to put a shirt on, very aware of Thomas’ eyes on him. At the same time, he liked the attention, hoped Thomas would think he was beautiful even if Alastair had never felt that way. A bit uncomfortable and cold, Alastair instead grabbed the blanket on the couch and wrapped it around him as he tried to process the shock of Thomas’ words and find a proper reply. He suspected the blanket belonged to Lucie, it was decorated with Lilo and Stitch.

He knew he should say something, but he couldn’t find the words. Part of him believed he’d hallucinated what Thomas had just said, because it couldn’t be true, could it? Why would Thomas love him? What was there to love?

‘I’m sorry,’ Thomas said.

‘What for?’

‘You obviously don’t feel the same way, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you with my feelings.’

Alastair looked at Thomas, trying to read his face. Was he serious right now?

‘I do feel the same way, you fool,’ Alastair said, staring at Thomas in disbelief.

Thomas seemed to freeze in the moment, hazel eyes wide, his mouth slightly opened. Before either of them could say anything, Tessa returned with several medicine boxes.

‘Here are some painkillers,’ she said.

‘Thank you,’ Alastair said, taking two paracetamol. If that wasn’t enough, he could always add some ibuprofen.

‘Gideon and Sophie are on their way here to cook, you must be starving,’ Tessa said. ‘Alastair, be careful with that shoulder, give it some rest.’

Tessa returned to the kitchen, presumably to start preparing. Alastair realized he was hungry. He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and apparently it was now on the late end for dinner. It felt odd, since Alastair was fairly certain he hadn’t been gone for a whole day. It felt more like lunch time.

‘You look adorable with that blanket,’ Thomas said with a small smile.

‘I’m cold,’ Alastair said.

‘I’m not judging,’ Thomas said.

‘You were,’ Alastair said.

Thomas said nothing.

‘Come on, you definitely were.’

‘Can’t you just accept that you’re cute?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair made a show of rolling his eyes. ‘Alright.’

‘Can I kiss you?’

‘What?’

‘You said you liked me too. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for some time. So I figured I’d ask.’

‘I expected you’d just initiate. Asking is nice though. Keep doing that, I like it.’

Charles had never asked permission for anything. Charles usually initiated, he had been the one to decide what would happen and had assumed Alastair was fine with whatever he had in mind. And Alastair had pushed himself to accept things he wasn’t comfortable with too, terrified to disappoint. Terrified he would be abandoned if he didn’t do whatever his lover wanted.

He could not have anticipated how amazing it would feel to have Thomas ask him for permission to kiss him.

Thomas didn’t say anything else, just leaned in and closed his eyes, allowing their lips to meet. Alastair suspected Thomas didn’t really know what he was doing, but that was alright. He took control of the kiss, grabbing the front of Thomas shirt with his good hand. Thomas put his hands in his hair, gently tugging at the strands. It usually annoyed him when people messed with his hair, but right now it was a tangled mess anyway, and he had to admit it felt kind of nice.

They broke apart, faces still close, and looking into each other’s eyes. Thomas’ hazel eyes seemed like a mixture of colors this close and Alastair could see the light reflect in them. He felt a desire for more, but wanted to take it slow. This wouldn’t be like Charles, no rushed or pressured decisions. It would be gentle and sweet and they would have all the time in the world.

He leaned back, and pulled Thomas along with him, Alastair laying down on the couch on his back, the blanket slipping from his shoulders. He didn’t mind now, he allowed Thomas to admire him. Thomas looked a bit awkward, trying to find a comfortable position without crushing him. Alastair would probably be able to take Thomas’ weight, he liked being underneath a lover, just the right amount of pressure on his body to feel comfortable.

Although maybe not now with his shoulder injured, that was just going to hurt a lot.

‘Tom, your parents could be here any minute,’ Alastair said.

Thomas only shrugged. ‘Kissing a boy in front of them saves me having to write a speech. And I really don’t want to stop kissing you.’

‘Are you sure?’ Alastair asked. ‘You don’t want to give a speech?’

‘I’m sure,’ Thomas said. ‘I just want to kiss you.’

Alastair had nothing to say against that, and kissed Thomas again, gently opening his mouth and slipping his tongue inside. If someone had walked in, he probably wouldn’t even have noticed, too caught up in the moment. Thomas’ mouth tasted of strawberries, he must have eaten some before coming here.

After Charles, Alastair had never imagined another chance at love, and certainly not with someone as kind and beautiful and perfect as Thomas Lightwood. Part of him was still convinced he was too difficult to be loved. He pushed all thoughts of something bad happening to Thomas to the back of his mind and indulged in the moment. When they broke apart, they just sat lay, breathing carefully. Thomas’ hand in his hair again, wrapping strands of it around his finger.

After a moment Alastair decided with his injured shoulder, this wasn’t the most comfortable position for either of them, so he sat back up, climbing into Thomas’ lap, arms around him.

‘You’re a good kisser,’ Thomas said.

‘You will be too, with some practice,’ Alastair said. ‘Was that your first kiss?’

‘It was,’ Thomas said. ‘I’ve never been with anyone before. But I’ve also never felt about anyone like I felt about you.’

Alastair frowned. ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ Thomas confirmed. ‘I don’t fall in love easily. I’ve felt attracted to other boys at times, but I rarely really fall in love. When I do, it doesn’t really go away though. I’ve loved you since we went to school together.’

‘Since school? But I was awful to you back then. I’d done nothing to deserve it.’

‘You don’t always love the people who deserve it,’ Thomas said. ‘Back then, it was more of a schoolboy crush really. You were so mysterious and beautiful, yet I saw you were sad too. I could tell you didn’t mean what you said, I could tell you were in pain and I wanted to know what broke your heart, what let such bitterness spill out. And then I heard about you from Lucie, when you went to school with her. Although I still didn’t understand you, she confirmed you weren’t awful at all since you stood up for her and I felt like I was right, there was something special about you. And now this past week, I feel like I’ve finally seen the real you. And I don’t just mean that sadness, I mean your interests, your love for books and long walks. How you can rant for hours about the evil of capitalism and how passionate you are about wanting change. So my feelings have changed over time, but it’s always been you I wanted.’

Alastair found it difficult to believe, but he could tell Thomas was sincere. It was difficult to believe anyone could love him, he guessed. He still felt too broken to be loved, undeserving of it. He wanted to believe Thomas though, he wanted to make this work. He wanted to silence the voice in his head that it was impossible, that Thomas couldn’t possibly love him, because who could love someone like him? The voice was wrong, and Thomas gentle touch allowed him to push it to the back of his mind for now. Perhaps someday it would disappear for good.

[yurireview]

Azula is not abusive, she is only royalty

I think that many of the Avatar fandom must really know what it is like to be part of a dynasty (especially one with an absolutist regime)

Many judge Azula with current morals, when she finds herself in a Monarchical environment being the Crown Princess (even if Zuko is older)

This scene here is normal in all ancient dynasties, absolute loyalty to the dynasty (although most of them were men) but it should be noted that Azula is the only remarkable Princess of the Fire Nation

This was the monarchical power and this affects a lot how these kings and queens behave with the people around them.

I will explain with this scene (Here Queen Christina tells her companion Ebba to undress in front of her and proceeds to touch her) ... again in the modern standard (this is harassment) but before it was not like that, yet if Ebba wanted that to happen (she had no choice)

The queen asked her for something

I think the narrative shows us that Ty Lee was much more important than other people to Azula ... I always found her scene cute.

Many will say "but she pushed her when Ty Lee beat her, she's evil, abuses her"

Something that must be understood, that although someone is a friend of the prince (even being children) is his subject, he or She  is not allowed to be "better" I know that it is tedious, but it is the reality ... it is like in this historical series where the prince made his friend help him escape from the palace (even though that almost led to his friend execution)

Azula had an upbringing where she was not allowed to fail because there were consequences ... but above all she was loyal to her father because apart from her leader, he was the only one who gave her "affection"

The meeting with Ty Lee is very special

It's one of the few times that Azula seems happy without a smug expression on her face like when she was a girl, just a happy smile when meeting someone she missed again.

Many will say "but she made Ty Lee go with her"

I ask them, did they not attend to the plot? her father, the most cruel Fire Lord in history, asked her for a mission, Azula considered that she needs Ty Lee to fulfill that mission ... it is not a matter of what Azula wants, but it is something necessary.

Azula action is questionable, but in her circumstance and at her time it was normal for someone from the dynasty

I can give examples of this that are repeated in many kings and queens

Now when Ty Lee and Mai worked for Azula, did Azula punish Ty Lee or Mai for failures? Nop

Because they literally failed 90% of their missions

In fact Azula even defended and supported the idea of ​​Ty Lee in front of the war ministers of the Fire Nation.

The King-Princes generally "abused" their subjects when they failed even if it was only a small mistake ... they threatened them with execution or worse (sometimes they even did) but again when did Azula do this?

Again it is evident that Ty Lee was like Azula "favorite" this is normal in members of the royalty (they always have someone like that, be it a friend or lover)

It's funny how while Zuko was with Mai, Azula was on her thing with Ty Lee

I think the beach was where you see that Azula really has a special affection for Ty Lee because this was the only time she apologized in the whole series.

But the surprising thing is that Ty Lee wasn't even surprised that Azula apologized and this is a lot

Azula was a normal girl but raised in the environment of the Monarchy, it's that simple ... she probably had feelings for Ty Lee (which she was hiding and didn't want to have any weaknesses)

Mai betrayed the Fire Nation Betrayed her trust and made her look weak She the trauma she has with her father of never failing

Any act of betrayal is immediate execution, no matter the friendship or anything... that's the reality, just take a history book and see how many leaders have executed their friends just for disobeying orders.

What Mai did is serious and without a doubt it was direct execution

Mai was going to be executed but she couldn't do that with Ty Lee and changed her order to just put them in prison

Ozai already knew about the lie and the failure of her mission, Azula was terrified of the consequences ... after that she began to not bear the stress, she no longer had anyone in the world ... she could recover but with all the situation was unlikely in the short time

She was only 14 and was going to turn 15 it was a lot of stress

I loved how they pointed out this little detail about Azula ... it is obvious that he does have feelings for Azula (a pity that the comic still does not address this but I think that at some point they will)

What fascinates me about Ty Lee is that his reaction is very realistic no matter how close they have been ... it is normal to be afraid of someone from the dynasty, in any historical story the friends-lovers even relatives were afraid that in some point they will be executed or punished.

Ty Lee was the person closest to Azula and "betrayed" her and even in spite of her fear, a part of her expects something else to the "punishment" that Mai mentions ... I think that's why even though they didn't show us much of Azula and Ty Lee ... it's fascinating

It is not a rose-colored ship, but it is realistic of the relationship with someone from the dynasty (More than a dynasty as ruthless as that of the Fire Lords)

I'm sure at some point they will explore more of Ty Lee and Azula relationship (although to be honest I also hope so in Netflix Live Action)

I think that now that Azula no longer has real power (she is an ordinary person) she should redeem herself and make peace with one of the few people who even though she was somewhat afraid of her, could show her a kind side in a genuine way.

That would be one of the first steps to redeem her

With this I say goodbye and I bring you curiosity that since book 3 Ty Lee stopped being interested in men just when she became more intimate with Azula.

[offbeatcappuccino]

My Love Letter for Run On

You have your world, and I have mine. But, we could align our worlds next to each other, couldn’t we?

- Oh Mi Joo to Ki Seon Gyeom| Episode 16 

Run On came to me during a special time in my life. Last fall was a period, where I was working towards immense personal growth and self reflection and watching kdramas was a form of self care and preservation. When the winter arrived, I struggled with a sense of emptiness that permeated when the semester ended. Also, the kdramas that ended during the winter, like Start Up and Tale of the Nine Tailed Fox left me deeply unsatisfied with the ending and shows like More Than Friends were difficult to stay committed to because of the weak storyline. I was bored out of my mind and worst of all, I was stuck in a k-drama rut. I started watching Run On because there was nothing else to watch at that time. Run On was initially a drama that I was indifferent to at first. However, I watched it every week without skipping an episode and slowly I realized that this show was making my Wednesdays and Thursdays just a little better. Halfway through the show, I realized I was deeply committed and in love with the plot. Ki Seon Gyeom, Oh Mi Joo, Lee Yeong Hwa, and Seo Dan Ah, were all characters that grew on me. Run On is not only a drama, but an experience that its audience lives through vicariously. Every episode feels like a mental breakthrough that pushes you to reflect on your own relationships, values, and ambitions. Simply put, Run on is a refreshing masterpiece rooted in realism. 

At first glance, the characters in Run On are anything but relatable. Oh Mi Joo is a quirky translator and orphan, Seon Gyeom, a national track runner who also happens to be the son of beloved Korean film star and influential politician. Lee Yeong Hwa is a sometimes naive optimistic energetic college student, and Seo Dan Ah, is the blunt slightly offensive very ambitious CEO who also happens to be an heir for one of the biggest conglomerates in South Korea. With a diverse set of unique characters, its very easy for such rom-com focused k-dramas to easily slip into the fantastical. Run On could have very easily become a drama like What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, one that unashamedly embraces the grandiose. Seon Gyeom could have used his influence to shower countless expensive gifts upon Oh Mi Joo and essentially liberate her from her middle class status. Lee Yeong Hwa and Seo Dan Ah’s relationship could have been the classic “noona” trope, where Yeong Hwa, despite his younger age, could have become the typical overprotective boyfriend and Seo Dan Ah could have been the woman who only understands her worth through her relationship with Yeong Hwa. What these two alternative storylines ultimately hinge on is this concept of unrequited love, the idea that my happiness solely comes from your happiness and I will sacrifice anything for you even if it comes at the cost of my own wellbeing. These storylines also promote a problematic understanding of what it means to be a man and a woman. A man is only expected to give and a woman is expected to receive.  This characterization sends the problematic message that men are perfectionists and women are incapable of being independent. K-drama writers often fall back to these tropes because societally, we have a misconception that these clichés are what make watching romance worthwhile. 

Run On is special because the actual storyline is one that demonstrates that healthy relationships can be engaging and entertaining to watch. Run On “runs” leaps and bounds to show us that romance can feel ordinary yet fulfilling. In both dramas and real life, we see characters pursue relationships because of the excitement and highs that accompany them even if it’s a relationship that feels unhealthy and unstable. In Run On, Seon Gyeom’s status, does not become the major focus of their relationship. There are no grandiose over the top gestures of romance on this show. What there are sincere genuine moments of compassion and support. When Seon Gyeom and Mi Joo live together as roommates, Seon Gyeom shows his love for Mi Joo in the way that he makes her kimchi fried rice and advises her to stop pulling all nighters and drinking green smoothies and eating cereal as a form of sustenance. On the other hand, Mi Joo makes Seon Gyeom’s favorite japchae during one of their dates. In Run On, its the simple things that truly allow us to express our love for another person. 

 Another one of my favorite scenes is when Mi Joo gets the flu and is running a fever, Seon Gyeom helps relocate her to a better room and tells her that he can be someone she can rely on when things get tough. Similarily, throughout the show, Mi Joo helps Seon Gyeom find his passion for mentoring and guiding young athletes and supports him when he is forced to retire from athletics. Yet, these characters don’t exist only within the confines of their relationship. We see Mi Joo continuing to actively  pursue professional success as a translator and Seon Gyeom continues in his journey to help his friend Kim Woo Sik get back on the race track after his injury. Both characters have goals and aspirations outside of their relationships and this show normalizes the fact that our personal needs can coexist with our romantic relationships. Unlike what other k-dramas and other shows depict, relationships don’t have to be all consuming activities for us to engage in. While this concept may seem like an obvious expectation, Run On serves a powerful reminder that gently conveys the fact that embracing romance is not synonymous with being swept up in it. 

As a South Asian woman, love and relationships have always been closely tied to this idea of relentless sacrifice. Relationships come first before anything else and this can breed toxic ideas of what romance look likes. In my own community and many other Asian communities , everything from parenting and marriage is closely tied to this idea of living for another person. As a daughter, you live to fulfill your parents’ ideas of success. As a wife and mother, you live to solely ensure your husband and childrens’ wellbeing. What Run On taught me is this idea of balance and space that needs to exist in all our relationships. Relationships need to be built on a principle of clear communication, reciprocity, and respect. Thank you Run On for making this cold winter just a little warmer. 

[hysteriapilled]

- 𝙰 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙽 𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽 𝙹𝙰𝙴𝙶𝙴𝚁'𝚂 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙸 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙾

Keep in mind that this might be inaccurate considering the information given is not canon, but from google. There will be no house readings since I can't even get a hold of his actual birth time so there is no rising sign (This is Eren's chart and how he would be if he were real, so don't take everything as factual)

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅𝐅

Big 5 Analysis

- SUN IN ARIES. Your sun defines your ego, core identity, your authentic self and in my personal opinion it's not really an important placement in the chart, and more of a title basically. People born into Aries are usually perceived as loud, impulsive, raging and aggressive by others— but they're very caring and protective to the ones they love, though sometimes they sure can have bursts of anger. Eren is stubborn, he can't be chained down and refuses to sit back and watch the people he cares about get tossed around. He is a firm person, quick on his feet and rather very rushing, he's like a puppy excited to get his owner running laps around him, he's hyper and motivating; a natural leader. - MOON IN PISCES. Your moon is your emotional side, how you feel, how you perceive feelings and how you process them. Eren with moon in Pisces is definitely not surprising to me— He is dreamy, intuitive, compassionate and he's either too dependable on others or just an overthinker. Though he may not seem like it Eren is very vulnerable and even prone to getting addicted to substances (alcohol, drugs, bad habits etc.) It's not the best placement in my standpoint, as he can get very affected by his surroundings and others. He can't turn a blind eye and NOT take shit to heart and rather stores it inside and holds onto it. He's very empathetic, he feels people's emotions and feels them well, to the point that he himself experiences what they are going through. - MERCURY IN PISCES. Eren has a LOT of Pisces placements so prepare to see a ton of empathy and psychic abilities in his aspects. Your Mercury is how you think, speak and learn. I sense that Eren has really great vulnerability which might not be a good thing, he trusts people too much and rather relies on them for heaps of things, he can be easily manipulated which is why he should refrain from letting everyone in. On the other hand, he is a very dreamy person and gets lost in his imagination at times. He sees the world in another, imaginative lens, and often could find himself daydreaming randomly. I can see that Eren has a hard time letting go of the past and he can even be linked to people in his life he hadn't seen in years. In terms of rational thinking he isn't the best, as he can't distinguish the logical from the emotional which is definitely something he should work on, he gets often blinded by the illusion of his overwhelming emotions toward others. He can also definitely have an eye to art since his imagination is extravagantly wide.

- VENUS IN TAURUS. Your mercury is your idea of love and how you give it and prefer to receive it— Eren's idea of romance is full of sensuality and gifts, he'll spoil you with his utter loyalty and generally with things too. Devotion is daily, he's extremely honest and would rather die than lie to you. Emphasis on sensuality, Eren craves touch and I could sense that his love language is physical touch, he will shower you with affection and fulfill your needs any time of the day. Taurus in Venus are all about comfort and coziness with their lover, so I can see that Eren loves cuddling, massages, food, sleepovers, intimate little things like that strike a chord in his heart. He can be possessive and jealous of times, he hates change specifically big ones in relationships—He can also take a long time to get to know you and prefers taking things slow and steady rather than rushing into it. I can also feel that he loves hard-workers, people who are dedicated and responsible (that's definitely his type). - MARS IN CAPRICORN. Two words. Goal driven. Your Mars is your approach towards anger and impulses as well as your sexuality aspects. Eren is self-controlled and refuses to take orders from others, he can't be chained down not because he's stubborn, but simply because he can't allow himself to stop. He has a tendency to shut out the world to pursue his objective— he moves forward (not a pun) and is willing to fight against everything and everyone to reach his goal, he isn't petty as he considers little quarrels a waste of time and energy. He likes to focus on the big problem at hand, not how to fight and win the battle but how to prepare for conquering the war once and for all. Eren with this placement knows that he is entitled to earn what he works hard for and will not let anything stop him. Mars signs can also affect appearance so I sense that Eren has very prominent and broad cheekbones, a serious face, and a very stiff, steady voice like he's about to command something. It can also be an intimate, velvety and cold voice and on the topic of intimacy— He usually prefers seeing you face to face and rather dislikes social media flings. He comes with a natural inclination to assume a dominant role in bed and he does what doesn't bother him (kink-wise) His temper is so icy, and he could definitely be on the sadomasochism spectrum. He's very soft in nature so if something was bothering you he'd instantly be turned off. Eren can be aggressive and intense but he may not specifically get off on pain (or he may) more like he finds the idea of being in control a very satisfying idea.

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅𝐅

2. Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune & Pluto Analysis

- JUPITER IN AQUARIUS. Your Jupiter is where you can receive the most luck and love, without you really doing much. It’s where you can catapult to happiness and success through quickest routes possible, within reason. I can tell from previous placements that Eren is a firm believer in standing for what you think is right. He is very opinionated and sometimes a bit too much— Some of his beliefs or theories can be brilliant and genius and others quite nonsensical and implausible, he rushes into throwing the first opinion just for the sake of throwing it first. Any analytical work about objective themes would come easily to him. Passion and enthusiasm will come astonishingly fast too as he can actually stun society with his innate knowledge with complicated subjects. Any scientific, technological, or perhaps just general abstract topics will benefit Eren greatly in subtle and/or unsubtle ways. He takes leaps of faith and believes what his eyes cannot see or what his mind cannot grasp. Simply what makes everything work out so well for him is the open minded love he puts into his theories. Sometimes though, he fears judgement people give to his methods as they are sometimes out of the box and peculiar. Eren would have to let go of his attachment to what other people think about his ways on solving or analyzing. - SATURN IN LIBRA. Your Saturn sign is your life’s obstacles and challenges, the rewards that come with time, and the discipline you need to achieve your goals. To start off with friendships, Eren cares about others and is tireless in serving others—he's also prone to putting others before him (others as in the people he cares about) And supporting his moon and mercury Pisces, he is very artistic and helps civilize those who need the lessons. The companionship he seeks can often give him solace and security, with his comrades support he feels a lot more powerful and in self-control. In relationships though Eren may tend to have a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to relationships and is afraid of rejection & may try to shut himself away or run if the going gets tough. He is very drawn to mentor types, and may often be with someone older and wiser. Despite that he still finds a way to assume the dominant role in the relationship due to his cold nature. Eren commits to artful projects, making it possible to live his dreams by seeing them to completion, he finds it very gratifying and has mental discipline when he finds activities that matches his high ideals. His sense of social justice is heightened, that could get him into law, politics and activism—His firm belief in himself also plays a big role in this, his bravery allows himself to sacrifice whatever he has to, to get the job done. Chaos, crassness, and ugliness can cause him a lot of anxiety and fear, and with his persistence to right the wrong he gets really frustrated when people don't have an outlook to life the same as his. I sense that it may be hard for Eren to accept that only he is able to control himself, and it's a hard pill for him to swallow.

- URANUS IN PISCES. As I mentioned before Eren's chart is dominated with Pisces placements, his intuition works at another wavelength than that of the common people, and for this reason, he is in a much deeper connection to the spirit world. He can sense the occult and this acts as a form of guidance for him, an anchor to support his meanderings through life’s challenges. Pair that up with his splendid imagination and innovative spirit, and you get someone who’s afraid of failure even when he’s not doing anything out of the ordinary, the worst thing that could happen to Eren is failing and losing his sense of validation. He’s a negativist ( I can see Eren as a cynical person later on in life, a realist would fit his philosophical belief) but, he should let his intuition and connection to the spirit world heal this part of his, instead of allowing everything to work against him. He won’t let himself be fooled by naïve ideals, even though he likes believing in them. He can be quite realistic and logical when the situation calls for it and that's quite ironic considering he's indulged in his imagination most of the time. - NEPTUNE IN SAGITTARIUS. This is one hell of a placement. Experimentation with different beliefs, spiritual strands, and esoteric-based teachings are all things Eren finds interest in. He cannot deny the divine existence truly and indefinitely to himself- even if he does so to others, there is always the gnawing sense that ‘there is something more,’ and one day he may regret not finding out what that is. His gift is bringing the joy of shared faith and spirituality together, making the sect he resonates with part of his life’s philosophy. We can tell by now that Eren's purpose is seeking truth, absorbing information and looking at the world in a different lens. - PLUTO IN PISCES. Shawty Bae here can also can be more passive aggressive when trying to get what he wants. This means he can be manipulative at times. This is the only time he ever makes a power play. When he is struggling to achieve something for the greater good. (THIS ACTUALLY RESONATES WITH HIS PLAN) But this desire for control is never executed maliciously. He wants things to go his way so he doesn't disappoint those who are counting on him. Eren can be very sensitive, and it’s important to him that he doesn't let anyone down. He so desperately want to help people that he sometimes sacrifices his health and well being, and even somtimes the well being of others just for the outcome to turn out best.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘

3. Chiron (Scar)

- CHIRON IN PISCES. Your Chiron sign in astrology shows where you sustained your deepest wound, your scar— It can never be completely healed, but they can be worked with and transmuted. Eren with Chiron in Pisces, we've already talked about many Pisces qualities in him (empathy, psychic abilities, imagination etc.) But the Chiron has a lot more depth into it, Eren might have a deep fear of being hurt by the universe or the forces at play. He might feel that the world is unfair or merciless and doesn't have his back almost every time. He has a sense of betrayal, and that leads him into cynicism (mentioned before in his Uranus placement) He felt that nobody was there for him when he needed it the most and he also feels a sense of victimization. This placement has a lot to do with the idea of FATE. Even subconsciously Eren feels he was dealt an unfair life, I can also feel that his way of coping is feeling someones grief right alongside them. Sympathyzing is definitely his way of forgetting about his own problems. Even though Eren doesn't exactly victimize himself he still can't understand why the universe is set up this way— he feels that the world isn't fair to him and his loved ones. Although all this scarring shows when he indulges himself in an immense shell of cynicism, then he hops between two places; Not feeling empathy for others since nobody offered empathy to him - or sympathyzing greatly and putting others' needs before his. It is easy for him to shut his feelings out but only with the help of substances which makes him more prone to getting addicted. This placement was created at some point in the past when Eren needed something badly and didn’t get it (sometimes the wound stems from a past life, but this stemmed from his childhood) Maybe it's because he felt insignificant to someone he felt was an idol to him, maybe this figure or idol was never there to nurture him and the probability of him having a lost close one in early childhood days is a very probable cause in how this Chiron stemmed.

BONUS:

- I get massive ISFP vibes from early Eren and INTJ from late him.

- His Venus Taurus makes him very romantic, so I feel like this would be his favorite song to dance to

[televisionrulesthenation]

S1E9 - “The Unwelcome Houseguest”

Original air date: November 21, 1961

Episode recap

Rob, Buddy and Sally are leaving the office, excited for a three-day weekend. Buddy mentions he and his wife, Pickles, are headed to Niagra Falls but don’t have anyone to watch their dog, Larry. He asks Rob. Rob says no because Laura wouldn’t like it. Buddy lays it on thick about having the dog around would be good for Richtie.

Back at home Laura and Richtie are in the kitchen discussing the potential for trip to a motel in Connecticut. Laura says it’s not settled until they run the plans by Rob. Meanwhile Rob enters the house with Larry, a German shepherd, walks into the living room and overhears Laura’s and Richtie kitchen conversation. He hastily takes the dog back out to his car.

Rob comes back in the house, Laura and Richtie join him in the living room. They ask about a trip to Connecticut. Rob makes excuses about needing to get things done around the house. Laura excuses Richtie so she can talk to Rob and get to the bottom of his hesitation. She notices dog hair on his suit and deduces Rob has brought home a dog.

Richtie is scared. He thinks Larry is a wolf that is going to eat him. Laura is not happy. Larry has to stay in the garage. Rob is completely unprepared for this dog weekend but is committed to making it work.

Larry, crying from the garage, wakes up Laura in the middle of the night. She wakes Rob to have him deal with the situation. Rob brings Larry to the kitchen. The whining doesn’t stop. He brings him to the living room. The whining doesn’t stop. He brings him a baby crib and gets Larry in. The whining doesn’t stop. Rob realizes Larry whines whenever he can’t see Rob. He wheels crib with Larry into the bedroom next to him and goes to sleep.

The next morning Laura asks Rob why there’s an empty baby crib in their room. Rob freaks out that Larry is gone. They frantically jump out of bed to search. They find Richtie and Larry together in the kitchen. Richtie is feeding him chicken salad. Turns out Larry made his way to Richtie’s bed overnight. When Richtie woke up to seeing a sleeping Larry, he realized the dog was a dog not a wolf and was OK with him.

Everything is about me

Richtie mentioned he was five-and-a-half years old in a recent episode, so that puts him in kindergarten I suppose. He acts too much like a baby if you ask me.

To be fair my youngest is in fourth grade and acts too much like a baby. He is a smart kid in the gifted class at school and decently athletic, playing on a competitive soccer team.

But whenever he makes a mistake, he reacts badly. Whether it’s not being able to figure out his math homework problems quickly or making the wrong decision on the field resulting in a goal for the other team. He takes it really badly.

We try to tell him, you’re nine, you’re not supposed to be good at everything yet. This is the time of your life to embrace learning through failure. We’ve been saying this forever to all of our kids, not sure how much it’s sinking in.

I had a long talk with him a few nights ago, and I think he was sort of getting it. I struggle sometimes meeting him where he’s at, talking to him on his level. I know my tendency toward rationalism is not necessarily the right approach for a kid. But I think I went over it in my head enough times that I think I got the message right.

I think I got it right this time because typically these types of talks with our kids elicits the response of things along the lines of, ok, right, got it, I understand. That is, the response of someone being lectured to, not someone in a two-way conversation.

But this time, toward the end of our long talk, he confided to reacting the way he does--getting sad when he makes a mistake--because he is worried he is not good enough and doesn’t belong on this soccer team. I reckon he has similar inferiority feelings about advanced math sometimes.

I don’t want to exaggerate the meaning of this conversation, but it feels like a breakthrough to me. We need to pump him up, tell him he belongs. I did that in the moment, but in the long run, she will be better than me for that with our kids.

But I’m going to do my rationalist thing--what I’m good at--and work with him more on specific soccer skills that his team is not specifically working on to boost his confidence. Give him the peace of mind that he is good enough and belongs.

Episode observations

Life before cell phones

OK, this Larry situation would have devolved into a litany of text messages between Rob and Buddy to get to the bottom of what the heck was going on and how to get the dog to settle down.

Clothes and fashion

Robes. Rob and Laura spring out of bed when the notice Larry is missing. They obviously know he’s somewhere in the house, and they know Richtie is terrified of him. They are wearing pajamas that would be fine to wear around the house nowadays. People would probably walk around the neighborhood in those pajamas in this day and age. But Rob and Laura, even though they’re in terrible hurry to check on Larry and Richtie, they still find time to put robes on before leaving the bedroom.

Pop culture references

Rob tries to convince Laura to give Larry a chance. Rob says if she’s not captivated by him, he’ll send him back to Buddy. Laura emphasizes the word captivated, indicating that’s a high bar. Rob lowers the bar giving himself some wiggle room and says, it’s not Carry Grant, it’s just a dog.

Vocabulary lesson

Not sure if this one fulfills the spirit of this category, as it’s supposed to be about words that are used in an ordinary way in 1961 that sound interesting to me 60 years later. The word is tripe. Trying to find something for Larry to eat, Rob is asking Laura if they horse meat or lamb kidneys or tripe. Laura scoffs at tripe. Tripe is the edible stomach lining of farm animals.

Best joke/funniest moment

Rob: Honeymoon? You’ve been married 10 years.

Buddy: We wanted to see how things would work before we spent the money.

(Probably the least funny episode yet. Though the audience seemed to like the physical comedy with the dog. That was probably more of a novel thing back then.) 

Other assorted thoughts on life in the 1960s

Rob tells Buddy Laura wouldn’t want a dog at the house because they just got brand new carpet.

The suitcases don’t have wheels.

Newspaper as distraction device. When Rob is trying to shut down conversation about traveling for the weekend, he pulls out the New York Times and skims it like someone nowadays would scroll social media on their phone.

Rob is so unprepared to keep this dog for the weekend. He has no idea where it should sleep. He has no food for it. He feeds it leftover spaghetti on a paper plate. Richtie feeds it chicken salad the next day. I know we spoil our pets these days, but really, Buddy wouldn’t have provided Larry with some dog food or other supplies for Rob to use for the weekend? I can’t tell if this poor planning--which was frustrating to watch--was simply a plot device to put Rob in stressful situations with the dog, or if people in 1961 just fed the dog whatever.

Final thoughts

Everything works out OK at the end of a sitcom episode.

[scoundrels-in-love]

Climb on your tears like a ladder to a rose, baby (There's a time to rest, There's a time to move on)

Three times Brienne doesn't have a birthday party and the one she does.

--

Brienne-centric | Angst and Emotional Hurt/Comfort | Grief | No Major Character Death | Birthday blues | And gradual growth | Happy, Hopeful ending

Also on AO3.

--

Disclaimer: This work is in no way or form related to author's personal life or personal wish fulfillment. /s

That said, early Happy New Year, everyone! Thank you for sharing so much love and creativity, whether in procuring new content or amazing comments, or pressing that kudos button!  Best of wishes in the 2021, may we all find healing or at least a glimpse of hope it is possible.

I

Brienne is ten and there is a movie on the large, chunky TV that sometimes needs to be smacked to work right. Specifically, there's a birthday party scene, complete with pretty banners and colorful balloons in shapes she didn't know were sold, and they're singing Happy Birthday and the child is blowing out birthday candles. Making a wish. The girl shares it with her friend later and Brienne scoffs, because everyone knows you're not supposed to say your wishes out loud. (That way, your dad's eyes don't get sad when he knows he can't fulfill it.)

Other than that, she doesn't really think about it much, never has. It's as foreign to her as the palm trees and sipping juice from a coconut. She supposes it's real to someone, somewhere, but not to her. People of Tarth have a different song to sing, but most of them don't sing any at all, nor did they blow out candles before they picked the tradition up from Mainlanders recently.

At least, that's what Brienne thinks. It's not like she's been to any birthday parties. But that's what her dad has told her of how he grew up. And that's how it continues in their household.

She gets a tight hug and a kiss on top of her head and a few presents, and a cake that doesn't have a shiny candle in it, but tastes just as good.

It's good and it's warm, when winter winds run hungry for snow to chase, and she doesn't wonder if she'd be like that kid in the other movie, the one to whose birthday party no one came.

She doesn't.

II

She is twenty three and she is picking out her own birthday cake. Her eyes skip over the number candles, because she's far too old for that kind of thing, and she doesn't even want the cake. She just doesn't want to think how sad he'd be if she didn't buy it. It’s her first after his passing and the thought of his worry is sharp. It’s never been deserved, but inescapable, because that’s what parents do, except she never managed to do what children are supposed to - to provide and take care so the final years are long and kind.

The cake blurs slightly as she exits the store, across the street from her apartment complex that seems to have lost the last of its colors in these winter months and the few strung up Sevenmas lights highlight that.

Brienne thinks her peers would call her insane if she told them she thinks winter in King's Landing is a lot more bleak than the ones she spent on Tarth. There is sharp quality to the contrast between the pale sky and darkening, rich color of water, even the jagged cliff edges stretching toward the horizon. It keeps one vigilant, wakeful. Here, the mild autumn grows more dulled and wraps everyone in an unassuming cocoon that slowly drifts toward spring, which finally hatches not quite rested.

But they have called her uglier things, too.

"Words are wind," her dad would tell her, but the wind isn't the same here, it doesn't take anything with it, only swirls dust around her. Brienne chokes on it, chokes on the echo as well.

Her father had loved the best he could, loved her truly, and if that rent ravines in her ribs, prone to collapsing in on themselves until she stacks them up again like a house of cards, then what hope of being loved gently, wholly, purposefully does she have?

She misses being hugged and told it's okay even when it's clearly a lie. She misses the certainty that her own love wasn't selfish. "He is in a better place now," they had told her, as if it didn't mean she had failed him utterly, repeatedly, until she had carved a crypt in the stone with her pacing?

Brienne falls asleep crying in a bed that doesn't feel hers, but she can't remember last time anything did.

III

Brienne is twenty eight and she pauses at the hallway mirror to fix her ponytail. There is half eaten cake on the kitchen table, bought at half price as leftover from Sevenmas, and a freshly opened wine bottle. It's the same kind her dad had brought her for her eighteenth birthday and she's never bothered to find another one she likes. (It tastes like the kind of summer she's never had.)

In this light, it's hard to tell if the shadows beneath her eyes are from the bit of mascara she had tried to scrub away a minute ago or the exhaustion she unintentionally cultivates like a little succulent garden on the windowsill.

She doesn't focus on the ugly or the beautiful of her face now, it's not what caught her attention. Brienne just stares at her reflection and thinks how she looks neither young nor old, that she just is. And that she has no idea what it means.

Shouldn't she know? Shouldn't she know by now? Shouldn't she be past the age where she is grabbing at dream colored smoke? Shouldn't she...

Brienne looks away before the first tears fall.

She eats her cake and thinks how her dad had told her that hawthorn and cranberries alike turn almost sweet after the first frost. How many frosts have been there now? Brienne's lost the count and the feeling of warmth alike.

She ends up drinking a little too much of the wine and going to bed early, looking at the single candle-look alike flickering on the table and willing herself to sleep after this completely ordinary day that should’ve been something, but it never is. (She isn’t.)

+ IV

Brienne is thirty six and her sides hurt from laughing.

She extracts herself from the couch corner, which Jaime immediately expands into like a lazy cat while flashing her a grin. When she comes back, he might try to coax her into his lap and maybe she will even concede.

She opens another juice carton and refills her glass, leans against the counter and watches her friends arguing over a board game in the living room. It's odd, to know you belong and yet to be so aware of it in this moment, and she cannot quite throw herself back in there, even though it is no mirage she could simply crash through. Instead, Brienne follows the cool and tethering moonlight that has looped itself around her feet.

She steps out into the garden - because that's a thing she has now. There is a thin, crunchy layer of snow that will bite through her fluffy slippers any moment now, chasing her back inside. But for now, she cranes her face toward the sky, sending white little puffs of breath chasing after clouds that slip across the moon.

The door opens behind her and she doesn't look who it is, because there's no one here that she'd want to hide away from. She's lucky, Brienne thinks, that trust was never a truly foreign concept to her, though she's had to learn how to expand it and recognize its many forms like a toddler would with a shape sorter.

Arms wrap around her waist and Brienne allows herself to lean back and rest against Jaime's chest as he props his chin on her shoulder. She considers telling him that she's fine, because she likes to say that, now that she knows how it feels to truly mean it, even if it's not every day. Instead, she allows the bittersweet ache in her chest to mend itself with his quiet warmth.

She hopes that next time she dreams of her dad, she can tell him of this night, to not worry quite so much, and that peace sounds a little like the sound of her friends' laughter drifting through the door left ajar and Jaime humming in her ear.

[sweet-evie]

I really felt annoyed on that kallen and lelouch scene where kallen landed on top of him in a sense where both has something to go back after the battle i mean lelouch was asking her to go back with him, I just felt where would c.c. be after the battle, will she be forgotten after it? Will it be like okay c.c. your job here is done you may go and we will go back to our own ordinary lives, will lelouch just let her go if she decided to go....lol and the list go on, (this is me speaking beyond shipping and as a c.c. enthusiast) and if i didn't know that the director is pushing c.c. and lelouch to each other i will forever hate the series cuz c.c. deserves the best (i mean its very obvious with the official arts and scenes and i remember reading something about it before) (can we also assume that c.c. got jealous on that part too lol what would happen if c.c. didn't speak about tabasco will they kiss? lol) I also really have a love hate feeling w/ kallen, she is really a good pilot and i kinda ship him sometimes with suzaku, sometimes not because i love him with euphie, but really that tension whenever they are together fighting or not Idk if its their strong and badass character but they really look good and compatible with each other but then I really love her with Gino the most lol i mean if i find kallen and suzaku compatible then i find kallen and gino most compatible hahaha Its just that kallen can show that she can be weak/soft can be tired or can breakdown (and not the always strong her) with gino. (I hope you can understand this part) I love it when gino picked her up after her battle with suzaku. How I wished gino appeared more in the series, was introduce early and they had scenes more together. I sometimes dislike her cuz she is over reacting in a lot of times like she is just too much and almost in par with nina's reaction most of the times haha (i kinda dislike/hate kxl scenes in a sense too that its one sided like its mostly k and l shows no interest but sometimes it look like there is a mutual feeling between both of them(i mostly felt its one sided shen watching the movie especially the resurrection) (What can you say about their scenes?, when he put jacket to her while she was wearing bunny girl costume, the refrain scene, when she fell on top of him, when she was captured, their kiss? etc.) BUT if you look at c.c. and lelouch relationship and scenes together its just too consistent lol i just love it how lelouch always assured and pursued her from that rooftop scene after battling with Mao, if she is a witch then he'll became a warlock, when he discovered and promised her about fulfilling her true wish, when she asked him if he hated her for giving him the power of geass and about to do something if kallen did not interrupt and bonus: that resurrection scene when he decided to become L.L. (I LOVE WRITING THIS PART OF ASSURANCE AND PURSUING ABT CLUCLU, MY FAVORITE XD, pls add some if i forgot something) i also kinda agreed to that statement except c.c. part lol going around that Shirley -> Lelouch Lamperouge, Kallen -> Zero and C.C. -> Lelouch Vi Britania but doesn't C.C. knows all lelouch's persona and had been supportive and stayed with him from the very start and in whatever path he chose? 😂 I hate it that people come at c.c.'s age and that she witness lelouch grow up like, is her immortality her fault? Like people are okay for male characters of 123456790 age falling for main girls in dramas or some animes for example but not okay if its c.c. lol SORRY THIS POST IS SO LONG it was supposed to be focus only on the first part about THAT scene 🙏

Whoa~ You’re not lying, this is one hell of an ask 🤣😂😅 I read 4 topics in this xD:

Lelouch, Kallen, C.C. scene

Kallen ships (Suzaku or Gino)

Kallen x Lelouch vs C.C. x Lelouch

C.C. & Lelouch's Age-gap

Let’s go in!

Lelouch, Kallen, & C.C. Scene

(can we also assume that c.c. got jealous on that part too lol what would happen if c.c. didn't speak about tabasco will they kiss? lol)

Maybe, but who knows, to be honest. xD The whole interaction was very impulsive, considering the fact that Lelouch was still fresh off of bouncing back from his depression, which Kallen had witnessed and was at the brunt end of.

When Kallen fell on top of Lelouch, I do believe both of them were thinking about that one moment where Lelouch tried to use Kallen to forget his current circumstances. Perhaps part of Kallen wanted it, but knew it wasn’t right. So I adore her for bitch-slapping him. xD The idiot deserved it.

C.C. was just there... I’m not sure if she was jealous or not. Maybe she didn’t give a fuck xD Before I could form my own conclusions, the entire scene is interrupted again because Zero gets called out into the control room.

Kallen Ships (Suzaku vs Gino)

I agree with most of your points in this part.

Personally, in my own fics, I ship Kallen with Gino a lot because for me, Suzaku belongs with Euphemia by default.

But, I do see the chemistry and the sexual tension that could go between Suzaku and Kallen. Like maybe their fights are really just unresolved sexual tension 😂🤣

I imagine a romance between them would be very explosive, passionate, and rough. I don’t just mean this in terms of sex, I imagine their entire dynamic would swing this way too. They’re really opinionated, and they both literally fight for what they believe in, and their conviction is strong enough to rival each other’s. 

Suzaku and Kallen just clash magnificently. On the other hand, Gino’s and Kallen’s personalities probably combine. They have things in common, but not too much to the point of being passionate and aggressive at the same time.

KaLulu vs CLuCLu

What can you say about their scenes?, when he put jacket to her while she was wearing bunny girl costume, the refrain scene, when she fell on top of him, when she was captured, their kiss? etc.

In that scene where he put his jacket on her, I think that’s gentlemanly of Lelouch. It’s something I expect from him considering he was born a prince, and also, he has a little sister. On a sidenote, I adore both him and Suzaku for being respectful towards the women in their circle, for the most part. 

That refrain scene was a moment of grief for Lelouch and he was being erratic. I said it once or twice, I’ll say it again. I am so happy Kallen bitch-slapped him. It shows that she’s not willing to put up with bullshit, and believes that Lelouch is definitely better than that. Kudos to her, she may have slapped him to his senses. For Kallen, it was a moment of, “Please be who we need you to be.”

It was a brilliant turning point for Lelouch as well. After Nunnally was given the role of Viceroy, Lelouch, at least, realized that his war and his rebellion against Britannia wasn’t just for his sister anymore. It was for everyone he cared about too. It was for the people who counted on Zero’s idea of freedom and perhaps peace.

In summary, I made my stance clear on KaLulu on a separate post long ago. But the gist was, they may have felt romantic feelings for each other, but it was probably brief and suppressed in favor of their grander goals and all that shit that was already going down. Romance just wasn’t appropriate for Lelouch or any of the characters who had something at stake in the war.

In the end, Kallen chose Japan, and Lelouch chose Zero Requiem. That is that. 😊

BUT if you look at c.c. and lelouch relationship and scenes together its just too consistent

Lelouch & C.C.’s relationship is a slow-burn from the get-go. It’s part of the reason why it’s so appealing to me.

Let’s be honest, Lelouch doesn’t even view C.C. as human until halfway to R1, and C.C. took almost all of 2 seasons to acknowledge the fact that she cared about Lelouch.

i also kinda agreed to that statement except c.c. part lol going around that Shirley -> Lelouch Lamperouge, Kallen -> Zero and C.C. -> Lelouch Vi Britania 

I understand why a lot of people like this argument. I, for one, believe there’s a grain of truth in it. 

BUT in my own honest opinion, I think that is a little unfair to Kallen and Shirley. I’m sure Lelouch cared about the two of them in unique ways and perhaps chose to hide behind masks around them to protect them and to preserve his own façade. Hell, he lied to his own sister for most of the entire show because he thought it would protect her and would shield her from the horrors of the world. (It didn’t turn out well, did it? 🤣) Still, my point is, Shirley and Kallen would have been willing to understand and know Lelouch’s every mask. Lelouch himself, just didn’t let them. And it was for their own good, I believe.

So why C.C.?

If there’s anyone in the world who can understand people’s multiple points of view, it would probably be C.C... She lived through most of mankind’s history, and she’s been alive long enough to take multiple perspectives in, meet different types of people, and see lots of ridiculous shit xD Lelouch slowly becomes aware of this fact as the series progresses, and we do see him have deep conversations with her from time to time. She’s capable of being objective. She knocks some sense into him a lot, especially during the beginning. One notable example of this that I will never forget is the episode after Lelouch realized Shirley’s father died because of his actions. It showed how immature Lelouch was being and how idealistic -- thinking war only took out the bad guys in his side of the story. Point is, she knows when to chastise him and when to offer her consolation, which is part of the reason why Lelouch would pick her as accomplice anyway.

but doesn't C.C. knows all lelouch's persona and had been supportive and stayed with him from the very start and in whatever path he chose?\

C.C. does know him. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘supportive’, nonetheless wholly supportive.

C.C. had her self-serving reasons, just like Lelouch. C.C. was looking forward to the moment Lelouch could acquire enough power and take her Code from her, so she could die. That’s why she saved his ass a lot in R1 and perhaps at the very beginning of R2. Her wishes and her intentions morph very slowly, and at one point, perhaps even blended together -- half still wanted to die, the other half was slowly empathizing and caring for Lelouch.

But yes, none can deny that she stayed with him from start to finish.

C.C. could have left after Charles & Marianne died, and I don’t think Lelouch would have blamed her if she did -- considering it was obvious that he couldn’t fulfill his end of the contract anymore. But she stayed. She stayed and helped, and kept her promise to stay with him to the very end.

Lelouch & C.C.’s Age Gap

I hate it that people come at c.c.'s age and that she witness lelouch grow up like, is her immortality her fault? Like people are okay for male characters of 123456790 age falling for main girls in dramas or some animes for example but not okay if its c.c. lol

Lelouch & C.C.’s bizarre age-gap is literally not any different from an age-old vampire or any other immortal falling in-love with a human.

I can certainly point out plenty of stories that half this same massive age-gap, and its fans still love it. 

[dramioneficrecommendations]

Hiii I accidentally jumped in dramione fandom, and I'm looking for good stuff for this weekend. Could pls tell me your 5 (or more)favorite dramione fics ever? Thanks!

I hope you like it here and stay with us… forever. LOL (Honestly, we have the best fics and authors in the entire HP fandom.)

Here are some of my all-time favourite Dramione fics (you can also check out my fic rec tag):

Revert by SUPRNTRAL LVR: Six months post-war, Malfoy is in serious trouble. He’s on the run from the Ministry, Death Eaters, and a deadly curse which is eating him alive. When he hits rock bottom, a change in fortune lands him in 12 Grimmauld Place under the Ministry’s custody - and forces Hermione to remember the secrets they’ve both kept for years. Dramione, Sick!Draco, flashbacks to Hogwarts, hurt. Rated: M - Chapters: 24 - Words: 260,266

Manacled by SenLinYu: Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione Granger has an Order secret locked away in her mind. She is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve, to be bred and monitored until it can be accessed. COMPLETE. Rated: M - Chapters: 77 - Words: 384,000

Isolation by Bex-chan: He can’t leave the room. Her room. And it’s all the Order’s fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something’s going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. “There,” she spat. “Now your Blood’s filthy too!” DM/HG. PostHBP. Now complete with epilogue. Rated: M - Chapters: 49 - Words: 284,050

Five Days by RavieSnake: No one knows that they are missing. No one knows where they are. No one knows that they are trapped. No one knows that they are dying. Dramione. WINNER for Best Drama/Angst and Best Tragedy in the Winter 2017 Dramione Fanfiction Awards! Rated: M - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,001

Aurelian by BittyBlueEyes: Two years after the war, a young stranger pays a visit to the burrow. His arrival alone is baffling, but the news he brings of an upcoming war turns the world upside down. Hermione’s quiet, post-war life will never be the same. Rated: T - Chapters: 43 - Words: 270,571

The Politician’s Wife by pir8fancier: Hermione hates Draco in the springtime, Hermione hates Draco in the fall, Hermione hates Draco 247. Rated: M - Chapters: 14 - Words: 68,629

The Revenant by atalanta84: Sometimes fate brings us far from home, and sometimes it brings us back again. When a friend’s mysterious death causes Draco Malfoy to return to Britain, he is finally forced to face his past, and the love he left behind. A story about second chances. Rated: M - Chapters: 10 - Words: 67,866

The Fool, the Emperor, and the Hanged Man by ianthewaiting: Ten years after the fall of the Dark Lord, Hermione Granger leads of life of self-imposed obscurity, that is, until the day Headmistress Minerva McGonagall is murdered and a certain ‘hero’ is responsible. DM/HG, written originally in 2007-2008, and finally making its debut here! AU, DH-EWE, non-canon elements, time travel, character death, etc. Rated: M - Chapters: 28 - Words: 229,334

The Dragon’s Bride by Rizzle: 7th year. Draco & Hermione awaken in a Muggle hotel room, naked, hung-over and tattooed. They also happen to be married. Thus begin a desperate search for a solution to their sticky situation. Rated: M - Chapters: 61 - Words: 225,164

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen: COMPLETE: Hermione’s eighth year at Hogwarts is already going to be difficult in the aftermath of the war, but it is further thrown into upheaval when Headmistress McGonagall orders a re-sorting of all students to promote inter-house unity. But when the Sorting Hat sends Hermione to Ravenclaw with Draco - and without Harry or Ron, how will she cope? [AU/Dramione] Prevalent alchemy. Rated: M - Chapters: 70 - Words: 306,322

Thirteenth Night by Nelpher: When Hermione is assigned to keep tabs on a memory-charmed Draco, she is faced with a decision that could change her life forever. Rated: M - Words: 77,997 Chapters: 23

Ordinary People by inadaze22: “Let me be clear about something tonight, Granger. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted. It’s always been you.” Draco steps in the fireplace, drops the Floo powder, and disappears in a burst of green flames. Rated: M - Chapters: 18 - Words: 133,759

This, Too, Is Sacred by HeartOfAspen: COMPLETE: An ancient power has required generations of purebloods to pledge their lives to the blood pact. Draco has long known he was born to uphold this tradition… but Hermione’s parents have secrets, hidden details about her heritage, and soon it will be her turn to cast in with fate. [Dramione AU] Fantastic cover art by Witches-Britches. Rated: M - Chapters: 23 - Words: 90,994

Gravity by luckei1: It’s about arranging stacks of books, wall colours, and jumping off a cliff. Draco/Hermione Rated: T - Chapters: 10 - Words: 87,155

Dystopia (new version) by Rizzle: Kidnapped and expecting to be abandoned to his fate, Draco Malfoy writes a personal account of recent life, love and loss after the end of the Second Wizarding War. His story encompasses two unforgivable acts, a wedding, a divorce, a kidnapping and maybe, just maybe…a rescue. Rated: M - Chapters: 15 - Words: 19,885 

A Slow Cruel Descent by SenLinYu: The war grinds on and Hermione Granger is captured. Unable to crack her through interrogation without risking her mind, Voldemort conceives a cruel method of breaking her that involves Draco Malfoy. “He stared at her in disgust. She looked— broken. The fire she’d still had when she was dragged in was now extinguished. Her eyes were locked on his face like she were memorizing him.” Rated: M - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,687 (Sequel: A Fragile Ascent)

Heavy Lies the Crown by luckei1: For seven years, Draco has carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and just when he thinks he’ll be released, something happens that will make him seek help from the last person he could have imagined. Rated: M - Chapters: 36 - Words: 289,967

To Wear a Dragon’s Skin by creativelymundane: When Bellatrix Lestrange takes control of the wizarding world after the demise of Voldemort, the remnants of the Order keep fighting. Seven years later, Draco brings Hermione a piece of magic that might be the key to finally ending the war. Together they will destroy Bellatrix Lestrange or die trying. Violence, Implicit Rape, Sexual Situations. Rated: M - Chapters: 26 - Words: 137,484

A Pound of Flesh by PennilynNovus: One night at a strip club, Hermione is faced with someone from her past, and an opportunity too good to pass up. What starts as revenge quickly grows into something else, and she may find it to be more than she can handle. Limes, Lemons, M. Rated: NC-17 - Chapters: 33

A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy by Countess of Abe: Draco loves his son more than anything in the world. So, when his ex-wife plans to take his son away, Draco asks the most unlikely person for help. Hermione must decide whether changing her entire life is worth helping the man she hates unconditionally. Rated: M - Chapters: 25 - Words: 136,998

Apple Pies and Other Amends by ToEatAPeach: “It’s a veritable PTSD tour. With pastries. And hand-skimmed clotted cream. And Hermione has no idea why she’s doing it, but it’s becoming very apparent that she is.” Sometimes you’re sad. Sometimes you need dessert. And sometimes, it’s a little of both. [COMPLETE, DRAMIONE] Rated: M - Chapters: 30 - Words: 80,226

Fairy Stone by Colubrina: Draco is sentenced to one year in Azkaban, release contingent upon someone willing to vouch for his good behavior. Hermione does. “Oh, I want you,” he said. “You, just you, always you. You forever and you for always and you until the bloody sun explodes.” Dramione. COMPLETE. Rated: M - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,827

The Mountain and The Sea by Alexis.Danaan: Hermione Granger was perfectly happy with her life, her job as a Healer Trainee, her ugly cat and her cute little house in the countryside. And then Draco Malfoy had to go and mess that all up, typical git. Post-Hogwarts, EWE, OOC, creature!fic. 18 Rated: M - Chapters: 12 - Words: 43,464

Celestial Navigation by phlox: Lost, without direction, unable to find your way home? Coming soon, a new Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes Ekeltronic to guide you on your journey! *Your mileage may vary.*Rated: T - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,640

Waiting Room by Nelpher: A series of encounters with Draco Malfoy in the waiting room at St. Mungo’s teaches Hermione about love, friendship, and the intersection thereof. Rated: T - English Words: 61,418 Chapters: 14

Voices by Kyonomiko: Hermione has long accepted she might not make it through the war alive, but after years on the battlefield, she never expected to be at the mercy of Draco Malfoy. Not untouched by his own experiences, his manic behavior leaves her living in constant fear of the unknown, suffering both affections and afflictions at his hands. Rated: M - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,724

Friend Number Three by riptey: COMPLETE - How do you deal with the Pureblood aristocracy, Ministry corruption, Muggle culture invasions, and constant questions about your love life while juggling more than two friends and not being a total jerk? Don’t ask Draco: he doesn’t know. D/Hr Rated: T - Chapters: 26 - Words: 138,388

Seven Days In April by inadaze22: They were still the same people with the same problems on either side of a bathroom door. Rated: T - Chapters: 7 - Words: 40,097 

Everything Changes by inadaze22: “Thank you for cheating on me, Ron. It’s the best thing you could’ve done. Thank you for stopping me from making the worst mistake of my life.” My first Dramione story. Rated M for strong language and sexual content. Rated: M - Chapters: 17 - Words: 76,191 

Out of the Silent Planet by ianthe_waiting: Post-Hogwarts - Hermione Granger fulfills Severus Snape’s final wish, to journey to Japan to ‘retrieve’ something of importance. Set eleven years after HBP. Rated: NC-17 - Chapters: 39 - Words: 229,710

Ardent Bonds by Musyc: Maybe it was wrong to think about this, maybe it was horrible to even consider, but if Draco Malfoy liked to dominate, she couldn’t stop herself from picturing it. Picturing him. Rated: E - Words: 16,741 - Chapters: 1

Seven Times by kerriclifford240879: Seven times can mean a lifetime of change. Rated: M - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,526

[pixiegrl]

Lover of Mine

Luke can't believe he's engaged to Ashton, he can't believe he gets to have this:

So I attempted to write smut and this is what happened instead which feels pretty on brand for me. So here's so soft morning vibes for them post engagement.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27280432

Luke can’t stop staring at his ring. He’s been awake for the last 30 minutes or so, just looking at his hand. Ashton’s curled up behind him, arm wrapped around Luke’s waist and face pressed to Luke’s neck as he sleeps, fulfilling his role as big spoon. Luke doesn’t know how Ashton can be asleep right now, when Luke’s practically vibrating with excitement. He still can’t believe that he’s engaged , that Ashton’s his fiancé . He still can’t believe, after all this time, that Ashton’s his, that Ashton’s picked him and that now they get to spend the rest of their lives together. It makes him giddy to think about, that they’re planning their lives together and that it includes each other.

Luke never thought he would get this, get to have Ashton as all his, forever and ever. He’s always imagined that Ashton would get bored of him eventually, run out of patience with Luke and his moods, with his feelings, with him. Luke loves Ashton, it comes as naturally as breathing sometimes, the constant steady nature of their relationship, of their love. Luke’s never doubted that Ashton loves him, but they’ve known each other since they were kids practically. Luke’s always figured that eventually Ashton would find someone better , more adventurous and free, with less baggage than Luke. Someone that Ashton doesn’t have to coddle, who doesn’t spend days locked in their room in the dark refusing to leave because the world feels too heavy.

Luke does though. Luke gets Ashton, gets all the parts of him for as long as they live. He gets Ashton, with his constant energy and love, who takes on the world with a sense of purpose and determination, who always knows what Luke needs and how to help him, who’s a morning person, who sings off key when it’s just for Luke, dancing in their kitchen just to make Luke laugh. He just gets Ashton .

“You’re thinking too loud,” Ashton mumbles, pressing a kiss to Luke’s bare shoulder where his shirt has slipped down. Luke hums, pushing back into Ashton, trying to burrow into him. He can feel the warmth of Ashton’s skin, Ashton’s fingers squeezing Luke’s hips. It grounds Luke, reminds him that this is real, he’s real, their love is real.

Luke rolls over, grinning at Ashton when they come face to face. He presses a kiss to the tip of Ashton’s nose, going cross eyed as he does it. Ashton laughs, pressing a kiss to Luke’s temple.

“I’m just thinking about our engagement. We have to call my family, and your family, and Michael and Calum. We have to tell the whole world. We’re going to get married ,” Luke whispers the last part, pushing gently at Ashton’s shoulder till they roll over. Luke straddles Ashton’s hips, laughing breathlessly when Ashton rubs his fingers into the curve of Luke’s waist, where he’s most sensitive. Luke feels hazy this morning, drunk on love and the way the opal of his ring sparkles in the early morning light. The ring feels right, loosens something in his lungs, let’s him exhale in a way he didn’t know he needed to. Ashton’s framed in sunlight, Luke’s own Apollo, glowing and bright. He’s smiling softly up at Luke, playing with the ring on Luke’s finger.

“Fiancé,” Ashton says, pressing a kiss to the palm of Luke’s hand. Luke giggles, leaning down to kiss Ashton, deepening the kiss when Ashton opens his mouth.

“Fiancé,” Luke whispers against Ashton’s lips when they separate. Ashton whines a little, pressing his face into Luke’s neck and kissing him. Luke squirms, half hard and giddy, knowing that if he pushes Ashton he can get fucked, live in Ashton’s love, before he has to start making announcements. The world feels hazy, liminal here in their bedroom, just the two of them pressed close together. Luke wants to bask in the warmth and love of the room.

Ashton seems to have the same idea, grinding his hips up against Luke’s ass, sweatpants material rubbing against the cotton of Luke’s panties, dick half hard as well. Luke whines again, nuzzling into Ashton’s neck, trying to meet Ashton’s thrusts. It’s sloppy, the both of them too caught up in their emotions to try for precision.

Ashton lifts Luke up a little bit, taking his weight off Ash’s hips, so that he can push himself back, propping himself back against the headboard, pulling Luke into his lap. Luke drapes his arms around Ashton’s neck, playing with Ashton’s hair as they kiss again.

It’s soft and slow, no sense of urgency to their movements. They keep grinding against each other, kissing in short bursts. It’s enough, pressed this close, breathing in each other. Luke tugs on Ashton’s hair a bit, giggles when Ashton moans softly into his mouth, tightening his grip of Luke’s thighs. He rubs his thumbs along the back of Luke’s knees, causing Luke’s breath to catch as Ashton touches him where he’s most sensitive.

Luke nuzzles into Ashton’s neck, listening to Ashton breathe in and out, feel his heartbeat. Ashton turns his head, pressing a kiss to Luke’s curls, as he keeps up his pace of grinding gently into Luke. It’s nice, getting to have this moment, where Luke feels like he could crawl into Ashton, live inside, live in Ashton’s love forever. Luke grinds back onto Ashton, feeling him inhale sharply, let out a shaky breath.

Ashton nips along Luke’s jawline, sucking a bruise onto the edge of his jaw, just under his ear. Luke moans, tugging at Ashton’s curls again, just to feel him nip harder.

“Can I…” Ashton mumbles, pressing Luke back in his lap, moving his hands up to Luke’s hips to squeeze as he tries to move Luke closer to his dick. Luke nods, giggly and happy in a way that reminds him of being a teenager, living out of hotel rooms and suitcases, drunk on new love. It’s how Luke feels now, after all these years, as Ashton leans away, fumbling for the lube they keep in the night stand, Luke propping himself up, so he can wiggle out of his underwear, nearly tipping himself over as he pulls them off. Ashton laughs, full bodied and loud, as he catches Luke, steadying him and pulling his own pants down. He coats his fingers in lube, working them into Luke. Luke hums, pressing down into them, trying to match Ashton’s rhythm as Ashton opens him up.

Luke pulls Ashton into a kiss, cupping Ashton’s face in his hands, swiping his thumbs over Ash’s cheeks. Ashton hums, moving his other hand to brush his fingers through Luke’s hair, traces the shell of his ear.

Ashton must decide at some point that Luke’s open enough, squeezes more lube onto his palm and slicks himself up. He gripes Luke’s hips, guiding Luke down onto his dick. Luke sighs, griping Ashton’s wrist with one hand, the headboard with the other. Ashton grins, starting a pace before slipping a hand down Luke and rubbing his dick. Luke whines, grinding down harder.

They move in sync, gasping when they hit each other’s spots. Luke’s hazy at the edges, the light still glinting off his ring, trapped at the center of Ash’s focus. Luke tightens his grip on Ash, thrilled when he squeezes Luke’s hip back.

Luke can feel he’s on the edge, close to tipping over. He leans forward, capturing Ashton’s lips in a kiss.

“I love you so much,” he mumbles out, breathing the words onto Ashton’s lips. Ashton moans, bucking up once as he cums. Luke would laugh at Ashton, cumming from something so soft and ordinary, if he wasn’t so close to the edge himself, squirming as Ashton’s hand works faster.

“I love you Sunshine,” Ashton breathes out, twisting his wrist so Luke’s cumming over Ashton’s hand. He buries his face in Ashton’s neck, slumped forward as he tries to get his bearings.

“Let me get up so I can get a cloth,” Ashton mumbles, nudging at Luke.

“Too much work.”

“I’ll go make us breakfast. Let you eat it in bed while you call the whole world.”

Luke hums, “Will you bring me fruit?”

Ashton huffs, “I’ll bring you fruit and I’ll put caramel in your coffee and I’ll even put Nutella on your toast.”

Luke giggles, nodding. He lets Ashton move him off his lap, press him down gently into the sheets, kissing him once before he crawls out of bed. Petunia bursts into the room once Ashton opens the door. Luke squeals, scooping her up and pressing kisses to her forehead while she licks his face. Ashton comes back with a cloth, smiling softly when he sees Luke and Petunia.

“What?” Luke asks when Petunia settles down next to Luke, huffing.

“Nothing, I just can’t believe I can call you my fiancé,” Ashton says, cleaning Luke up, blushing at the confession. Luke tugs Ashton in for a kiss.

“You’re the love of my life. Who else would I want to spend it with except for you, darling?”

Ashton smiles at Luke, fond, before he presses a kiss to Luke’s cheek, “I’ll be back with food. Don’t call our parents until I get back.”

“Can I text Mikey and Cal?” Luke asks, making sure to use his pleading face. Ashton huffs, nodding, as he leaves the room.

Luke grabs his phone, unlocking it to take a photo and send it to their group chat. Michael and Calum respond within minutes, happiness and congratulations pouring through the messages, Michael begging to let Moose, South, and Duke be part of the wedding party, Calum demanding to know whose best man he gets to be. Luke smiles, assuring them that the dogs can be and that he has to talk to Ashton about best man positions (Luke already knows though, that Michael will be his and Calum will be Ashton’s. It just feels right ).

He’s propped up against their pillows, petting Petunia with one hand and texting about wedding plans he hasn’t even made (it’s determined that blue should be their wedding color and that they have to get married in Australia close to their birthdays) when Ashton comes back into the room, holding a tray of food and grinning. Luke drops his phone, making grabby hands at Ashton until he comes close enough to hand Luke his coffee. Luke hums in happiness when he takes the first sip, tastes the caramel and coconut milk that Ashton’s turned him on to. Ashton balances the tray, climbing into bed next to Luke and snuggling into his side. Luke grabs a piece of toast, taking a bite before kissing Ashton. Ashton hums gently into the kiss before pulling back to look at Luke.

“Did you tell the guys?”

“Yes. They’re demanding to be a part of the wedding planning already.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. We can finish eating and call Australia. We can call your parents if you want,” Ashton says. Luke nods, taking a sip of coffee.

“I love you,” Luke says, leaning back into Ashton, wrapping his hands around his mug. Ashton presses a kiss to the top of Luke’s head, tapping a finger against his ring.

“You’re being very sappy this morning.”

“I’m just happy and in love. Besides you can’t tease me you asked me to marry you.”

“Sap,” Ashton says, kissing Luke’s temple when he huffs in mock outrage. Luke doesn’t mind though. He’s happy here, content to live in Ashton’s love forever and ever.