#and the genderfluid gender is mostly just between boy and neutral

[autistic-katara]

always boy but sometimes spicy

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[rowansrealm]

hiii! i’ve tried out the boyfluidflux label too and am considering it again. just curious what your experience is with gender/the label (IF you’d like to share [: )

I feel like my experience might not match the “typical” experience with this label since it doesn’t 100% fit me it is just the closest I have found. I feel more connected to the boyflux part of that which is I would say that my gender fluctuates in the space between boy and agender and is rarely 100% boy or 100% agender. The actual definition is someone who’s male gender fluctuations in intensity so there’s a lot of ways to experience that. Boyfluid is a type of genderfluidity where one changes between male, neutral, androgynous, and genderless identities. I feel more that my gender is partially fluid. It mostly just fluctuates between male and agender but there’s also a little nonbinary mixed in there. I haven’t found a label that completely fits that so I just went with boyfluidflux since it’s the closest. I don’t think there’s one specific experience that that would fit this label so if you feel like it fits, go for it and you can always change your mind later. Sorry if this was a bit rambly, it’s kinda difficult to explain.

[jinjinranran]

Byeol x Yoosung 💚

Bi Yoosung is canon /j no but what else could I hc him as, with his big ass crush on Saeran 😭 and I believe it wasn't the only one - tho I think most of the times he'd be oblivious and confuse his boy crushes with simple admiration, because he likes girls after all! But boy. Sweetie. My dude. You're fruity and it shows.

With Byeol being nonbinary, Yoosung's a bit confused at first. He doesn't live under a rock, he heard about nonbinary genders, just hasn't really done any research about the topic. He has no problem with accepting them in any way regardless if he fully gets it or not. He just needs some explanations and learning to do so he could understand their identity better.

Other characters: 💛 💜 🧡 💗 ❤️ 💚 💙 🤍 🤎

Byeol's story under the cut:

💚 Eunbyeol Kim (Byeol) ♡ she/they/he ♡ 20 yo ♡ nonbinary, pansexual

Byeol likes both feminine and masculine clothes and interests, but has always been praised only for presenting feminine ("You're such a pretty lady!", "you look like a little princess in this dress" "you look much prettier with some makeup on") and it felt wrong so she started to resent these and dress as androgynously as possible, rejecting everything that was considered feminine.

Dislikes how feminine their face and body is, always admired androgynous people, and wishes breasts were an accessory you can put on and off depending on the outfit. Related those feelings to just wishing to look good in both male and female cosplays, only much later realized there is a deeper reason for that.

Bought her first binder for cosplay purposes and oh boy the happiness it brought!!

Generally wearing masculine outfits always brought that little, unexplainable spark of excitement.

Once when gaming someone referred to her as "he" and it felt cool so she never corrected them. Now goes by mostly he/they online and she/they irl (but honestly is fine with any).

As a teenager started to be more active online, and finding lgbt communities, she discovered the existence of nonbinary genders and started to put the pieces if her life together. Rotated between different identities (demigirl, demiboy, genderfluid, agender, etc.) but at the end decided to just stick to nonbinary as it felt the most comfortable.

Cut their hair at the end of high school, out of impulse and spite for her family pushing the idea that a woman must have long hair. It felt so freeing, even tho she ended up looking like a disaster lol

Their family is conservative and not very accepting to anything outside of the "norm" so they're not out to anyone except one of her older sisters who does everything to support them, even if she didn't fully understand at first.

While doesn't mind she/her pronouns, other gendered words (like miss, sister, girlfriend etc.) makes her uncomfortable so prefers to use gender-neutral alternatives when possible.

Definitely prefer to be referred using their shortened name - Byeol - since it's gender neutral, than the feminine full name - Eunbyeol.

Now - after learning that the way they're presenting nor interests do not invalidate their identity - embraces their feminine features (still thanks gods for the invention of a binder but doesn't always feel the need to wear), actually likes wearing makeup and dresses sometimes, loves to play with fashion and mix both feminine and masculine pieces of clothing, and is obsessed with accessories.

Regarding the romantic/sexual attraction, he has 0 experience, but never put much importance to it, "if I fall in love then I fall in love, the only thing that matters if we get along well".

Since they're going to the same college as Yoosung, they saw him in the halls, a few days into 1st semester, and immediately got a big ass crush on him. Felt way too shy to approach him though, and everytime they ran into each other, only managed to mumble something incomprehensible (and that was very new and out of character for her, and also very embarassing). Later, slowly they started bonding over the same interests, though Yoosung was very oblivious of Byeol's feelings towards him. Until many months later when she confessed to him - or in his route, when he realized that the party coordinator he fell in love with is actually his college and gaming friend. 💚

[aroaceconfessions]

ok so, this isn't so much a confession, rather I'm asking for help or an opinion because I can't find anything helpful out there myself and the wiki's fucked.

I've had a real hard time pinning down my sexuality as of recent, because all the factors involved are really contradicting, and correspond to a number of labels and yet none (that i know of):

- i experience sexual attraction to mostly guys and masc-presenting individuals

- my sexual attraction fluctuates depending on my energy levels

- I have had many fantasies involving different people and I do experience sexual arousal, but not to anyone in particular most of the time and I would never want these fantasies to come true

- I have the idea that eventually I'll get to know what it feels like to actually do it, though I'm not sure exactly when

- I only experience sexual attraction once I'm emotionally attached to the other

- when it comes to people I know I'll never have an actual chance with, the above does not apply; rather, I'll experience sexual attraction first, and then I become emotionally attached over time

- there have been a few cases where I was attracted to a different gender than a guy or masc-presenting, but it's never been someone fem-presenting

- I have experienced sexual attraction to fictional characters in the past

- I can count with one hand the number of times I've ever experienced sexual attraction to those my own age

I also can't determine where I lie with romantic orientation, and some of the factors above are the same ones involved:

- my orientation fluctuates mostly between demiro, aegoro, and totally aro

- when I dream about someone i dont usually think about, I then become obsessed with them

- I'm romantically attracted to most masculine, feminine and neutral genders

- I've also been romantically attracted to fictional characters

- I do not have romantic fantasies, but I'm not entirely opposed to a real-life relationship

- I have a very hard time distinguishing between queerplatonic, platonic and romantic attraction

- I am aesthetically attracted to mostly feminine and neutral genders, and only sometimes it will evolve into romantic attraction

now, I'd like to mention that I'm nonbinary, specifically genderfluid; because of this, I'm not too sure what that would make me in terms of orientation. sometimes I'm more feminine, sometimes I'm agender, sometimes I'm xenogender, and very rarely I will experience what I describe as "not totally masculine, just the general concept of a boy", so i dont know which orientation label would fit best out of all the ones I've seen. does anybody know any labels out there that would best describe all these experiences? I don't know or remember enough to determine all this myself.

[maxarat]

I think I need an intro so here's that

My name is Leo, short for Leonidas but no one calls me that. I'm 17 and a white Jew.

I'm ace, arofog, gay, and genderfluid (between nonbinary, agender, and maverique). I mostly use neutral pronouns but moots can use he/him. I'm fine being referred to with most gendered terms, but ma'am, sir, lady, thinks like that make me uncomfortable, and so does being called just boy or girl. Probably no one will use honorifics here but I hate honorifics.

I have AuDHD and OCD. My special interests are PJO, TOH, BNHA, history, and mythology! Other fandoms I'm in are OurGoodShadows, OHSHC, Hades Supergiant, Spiderverse and MLP.

DNI if you think patrilinial Jews, self-disgnosed, and xenogenders are invalid. Also if your account is NSFW centric, you ship Sol//angelo, Perc//ico, or Jas//ico, you like H@rry Potter, or you post about Str@nger Th!ngs (the last is just personally don't like it)

Also I'm a selfshipper!

[reverse-queer-dictionary]

So I’ve been questioning my gender for most of my life. When I really think about it, I wish I could just be seen as (mostly) genderless but I do sometimes get gender euphoria from being perceived as a guy. I’m not really sure if any part of my gender is female because I do feel like a girl sometimes, but it feels like an obligation and deep down I yearn to present in feminine ways without being perceived that way. Idk, it’s confusing and I’ve gone through so many identities that don’t feel right.

-

(I’m assuming you’ve read the disclaimers in my pinned post, so I will not be restating them here. /lh)

Chances are if you feel like when you “feel like a girl” it feels like an obligation, and you don’t want to be perceived as a girl/femininely then your gender probably isn’t feminine. However, you know yourself better than I do, and if you feel otherwise, that’s totally fine! The majority of the labels I’ll list will be non-feminine, though.

Umbrella Terms:

Genderqueer (an umbrella term for any non-normative experience with gender)

Transmasculine aka transmasc (an umbrella term for any non-cisgender individual that feels as if their gender is more masculine and/or presents more masculinely)

Transneutral aka transneu (an umbrella term for any non-cisgender individual that feels as if their gender is more neutral/unaligned/abinary and/or presents neutrally)

Transneumasc (an umbrella term for any non-cisgender individual that feels as if their gender is both masculine and neutral/unaligned/abinary)

Other Labels:

Agender (being genderless; a neutral/null gender; there are other definitions but those are the two most common)

Libramasculine (a gender that is mostly agender, but has a slight connection to masculinity/boyhood/manhood)

Aboy (an agender/genderless individual that is fine with being perceived as a man/masculine)

Boyflux (a gender that feels like fluctuating amounts of masculine/a man/a boy; e.g. you sometimes feel fully like a boy/man, you sometimes feel partially like a boy/man, and you sometimes feel like a different gender, typically agender/nonbinary)

Demiboyflux (a gender that feels fluctuating amounts of masculine/a boy/a man, but never feels fully a man/boy; e.g. you sometimes feel partially a boy/man, you sometimes feel a different gender, typically agender/nonbinary, and you never feel 100% like a binary man.)

Genderflorer (a gender that is fluid between all non-feminine genders and never feels like a binary man)

Genderflicker (a gender that is fluid between genderless and masculine genders and never feels like a binary man)

Genderflickeur (a gender that is fluid between genderless and masculine genders, including binary man; if you visit the link you have to scroll down to the subsets because there’s no wiki page for genderflickeur specifically)

Here are some labels that include feminine genders, in case you do feel like the girl part is non-obligatory:

Genderfluid (a gender that is fluid)

Demifluid (a gender that is partially static/doesn’t change and partially changes)

Demiflux (a gender that is partially static/doesn’t change and partially fluctuates)

Demifluix (a gender that is partially static/doesn’t change and partially fluid and fluctuates)

Genderfloren (a gender that is fluid and never feels like a binary man or a binary woman)

Genderflorent (a gender that is fluid between neutral genders, partially feminine genders, and masculine genders but never feels like a binary man)

Genderflicken (a gender that is fluid between genderless, neutral, feminine, and masculine genders but never feels like a binary man or a binary woman; if you visit the link you’ll have to scroll down to the subsets since there’s no specific wiki page for genderflicken)

Agenderflux/Librafluid (a gender that is mostly agender but fluctuates between feeling slightly like other genders)

Hopefully something here was able to help! And remember, it’s perfectly fine to not know your identity right away, never know your identity, and/or to be unlabeled! You should also go with whatever feels right for you! Good luck on your self-discovery journey!

[lucid-pirates]

Boyflux

Male most of the time, but it fluctuates. Sometimes Micheal feels more like a boy and sometimes they only feel a little like a boy and mostly nonbinary. Sometimes Michael cries himself to sleep (think of it like percentages 10% boy 80% agender 10% rad)

Genderfaun

Genderfluid minus femininity. Sarah is genderfaun and he glides between genders like butter, but when ze tries to get through femininity it doesn't work. Sarah thinks feminine never ever feels right

Ghoulboy

Being masculine in the ways that matter. Male in the public eye. Male for bathrooms, male for coffee. But when it comes down to it there's no real perception of gender. (Allergy warning: this product is generally used by neurodivergents)

Xoy

A non-binary boy. I would absolutely kiss one if I met one. Ignore the last sentence. Nonbinary but male aligned. A more neutral term for boy. I think they're really attractive, just give me one chance. Ignore the last sentence.

Paraboy

They have multiple genders, but one is the alpha. In this case an alpha male. Basically more than one in a bisexual sense with male being their primary gender and generally another being their secondary. Ur mom is my secondary ayo.

Transmasc

That feeling when you're not amab but you sure are masculine. Kero identifys as a male and is very masculine. Remember kids, you don't have to use he/him is you're a male. And also men can wear dresses and honestly they look really good in them.

Hope this helps, happy gender shopping

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, and hello every butch reading this. I need your help.

I don't know where to begin, this has veen a problem for me for almost a decade now. I've followed you (Jen) for a few years now, and you're a very comforting figure to my brain, so I was hoping you and possibly others could help me out a bit. If not answers, then some good advice, open mindedness, patience, and possibly links to resources and helpful places. I've wanted to reach out to older butches and such about my issues with gender for a while, because I've flipped between a few and always have my mind coming back to butch in some form or another. Whether I act on it between each circle back or not, it stays.

I came out as some flavor of trans around 13, and then moved towards binary FtM around 14 or 15, which is when I met my first partner ever. I've had a ton of jumps back to being just kind of butch but in a weird middle butch state of not lesbian, not ftm, not anything but butch. I grew up in the midwest for 10 years (starting at 10,) and came out as a lesbian at 11 or 12. Regardless of how I was identifying in highschool, I was bullied and catcalled as a lesbian my whole childhood, seen as a d/ke, called it, I got the worst of it all, had girls try to kick my ass and dudes try to "turn me." I hung out with the fem cishet alt girls half my height and half my weight, carried them around, I was the ugly tall bitch that protected them. Had a wicked shaved head, wearing mens clothes handmedown, mens boots, brought a swiss army knife everywhere and my own wallet and housekeys. Getting pencils thrown at my head, smoking weed in the girls room, forced to change in the gender neutral stall for gym cause the school didnt know what to do with me. Guys would honk as they went past and shout dyke at me, so I started trying to blend in with highlighter shirts and jeans etc. Typical midwestern shit. I feel that despite now living as a man, i had the lived experience since a very young age (even before moving to the midwest,) of a butch. I am now fully living life as a cis man, stealth, and dating an amazing queer trans dude whose possibly genderfluid, and also very fem. He also identified as a lesbian for a long time and experienced a lot of toxicity there, and was nonbinary in his past, and I met him when he was agender and queer. He's amazing, I'm going to marry him, and he's everything I love in a partner. Feminine, went to cosmetology school, pretty nails, chubby, likes to bake and shop and wants to cook me steak, wants me to carry his stuff and his groceries, calls me his scary dog privleges, wants to scratch my sideshave. He realized he was trans and came out after we met, and I've been his biggest support against everything else, and I always will be. I love him, I'm attracted to him and he's the only person i ever have been. So I dont think I qualify anymore as a butch, despite using the term and being a butch for so many years. I was a butch, I still feel it even if I'm not really into many people at all including women (also on the aro/ace spectrum haha), but now I'm a man, I have a beard, I have a boyfriend I will never leave, who knows how I feel and loves me and we both know no matter where we end up gender wise or sexuality wise that pretty much me and him are it, and if it contradicts, who gives a shit, yknow?

My dating history has always been feminine nbs, feminine trans boys, and femme lesbians. I have never dated a masculine cis man, masculine nb, anyone masculine at all. For lack of better terms due to my situation, I have always been butxh4femme and at least masc4fem. I have always been the guardian and gentle giant of my fem partners, I also am mostly a stone butch due to sexual trauma and asexuality. Due to my aroace-ness, I've also hardly dated literally anyone lmao! Maybe 3 people longterm and seriously in my entire 21 years. This is getting really long, and I'll be honest, I've been yelled out of all communities I've been in for being so damn complicated. I'm scared I'll hurt mt partner and he'll feel I don't see him as he is, I'm scared I'll hurt lesbians despite living and growing as one most of my life, I'm scared I'll hurt me by identifying as butch because I feel like I'll have to detransition. I also kinda look fuck ugly without a beard nowadays, cause lord knows I've shaved that shit fullon twice now because of this exact issue.

I want to be called sir, and I love being on T. I hate getting a period, and my bottom dysphoria is agonizing, but I probably wont get bottom surgery. I want to not be catcalled. I want to get top surgery eventually, and maybe I don't want a full beard. I wanna cut all the sleeves off my shirts again and get some sexy workboots and jeans. I know I want my pretty femboy boyfriend on my arm forever, I don't care how he ends up identifying or me either, and to see him wear his dress on our wedding day. I want to be butch but still be seen as a man, but I don't think I'm allowed because so many people have shit on me for it and said I'm not. But I still wear my keys on my belt. I still lift the heavy shit, emotionally or physically, every day for him. I still do my role, I still protect the people around me. But I don't want people to look at me when I say butch and assume me or my boy are women, out of respect for him and me too.

Advice needed, please, anybody that's willing to help me and help me find my path. It's been so back and fourth so long. Thank you.

- R

i am sorry for taking so long. Fall is a very busy season with all my jobs ramping up and getting ready for winter on the homestead.

Your writing was a lot to absorb and I admit I read it several times and had to come back because it weighed on my emotions and heart heavily. I was driving tractor last night so I had lot of thinking time. I went over in my head how you much feel, how I could possibly answer this with any coherant advice or even just some comforting words.

You are only 21, my advice if you were my child (i have 3--25 year olds, a 22 year old and a 16 yo), would be to slow your roll. 3 serious relationships by 21 is a lot. At a time when we are sort of socially and mentally programmed to be free and using our energy to exlplore our individuality you were putting efforts into maintaining viable relationships with other people who were probably also trying to figure themselves out. I was 23 before I even had one serious relationship and i was probably still NOT ready for it.

When we never live a single life or a life on our own it becomes hard to separate who we are from our partner. It is normal to bounce off of each other and to both want badly to share the same values, identity and interestes EVEN if as individuals those things might never have lined up.

I am NOT a therapist nor can I possibly know you or your exact feelings, I can only go by what you told me. When I am asked for advice I am honest but kind, go from my experiences and or those stories I have been told by friends. Sometimes what I say is NOT what you want or expected to hear. That is okay. You can take what I say or leave it. Or use what helps, ignore what doesn't . So here it goes.

My point about you both meeting young,and thus relying on each other to work on your individuality comes into play here. You are both, I am guessing around 21. Neither of you have had any time to forge exactly who you are. Stastically what are the chances of two women who both lived as a lesbian meeting after you transitioned  and the partner ALSO being trans but not coming out until AFTER the fact. Until after the relationship has progessed.? Speaking in terms of how many trans people are in the population that feels like quite a statistical anomally. What are the chances? Now I suck and math and I know the percentage of any given population in the LGBT+  community as compared to greater society seems sketchy, based on shitty research and at best a bad guess. It just gives me a bit of pause and might give you some food for thought, a chance to think over outside influence vs life long dysphoia or other factors. 

 I preface this by saying I can in no way know you or your partner or pasts or any actual feelings, only what you have told me. I appreciate your stark honesty and your willingness to admit you are struggling. Reaching out is hard even as an anon. Is it in any way possible your partner was influenced heavily by wanting badly to share your life, your values, to feel more inline with you and to feel more close to you and to solidify the relationship in a space that she perceives as more comfortable to you. OR perhaps even your friend group?  

You talk aboout pressure from all sides to be this or be that and if you are a trans man I am sure she was getting not too subtle pressure to not use lesbian even though she was maybe just fine with that, it felt right. There is a vicious push from inside the house to tell people how to describe their sexuality and relationship when it is no one’s business. Others feel uncomfortable when two people live their lives as they see fit and don’t rely on how people perceive them to be happy. It makes some people nuts  in fact. 

To your concern about detransitioning or not or what makes you happy. I know detransitioners and they slide just fine back into the lesbian community they used to have or they have found their own new lesbians friend group. It is not impossible. At many events I have been to in my life, women’s festivals included, there were tans men there who lived soley as men outside the protective walls of women spaces but were happy to be seen as women within the safety of the limited time and space of the event. You can find community among lesbian no matter how you land, it just takes a little bravery and ultimately being okay with yourself. 

I am not going to tell you it is easy no matter the path you choose. Reidentifying as a woman with a full beard and staying on T is never going to be as easy as just saying “I am THIS “. You would have to spend time coming back out, explaining etc until such a time you formed a community who knows you and understands your past. 

Everything you described that you love is everything I love about being butch, I am short, 5′3 so I didn’t experience some things like you have as tall woman in high school, BUT I was definitely clocked as a lesbian even with great effort to be seen has just wearing “typical midwestern shit”. My entire wardrobe was T shirts, sweatshirts, jeand and tennis shoes. I gave up my beloved cowboy boots because others said they made me “look even more like a boy” and in the 1980′s I tranlated that to “butch lesbian” even if I did not have those words. I knew damn well what they were inferring.  

I also know lesbians who take T and remain in the lesbian community, they just feel they need to pass more as men in the larger world for their peace of mind, safety, job, whatever. So deciding that lesbian and butch is right for you does not mean you can’t continue to utilize tools that help you to feel okay. 

This is getting a bit long and I will admit I am unendingly biased, I have never denied that and don’t hide the fact that I think being a butch lesbian is wonderful. GIven all the factors and insecurities you have shared with me being a butch seems like the path of least resistance. Cutting back on T, not constantly worrying about “am I or am I not” and getting back to the basics of what you seemed to understand as you were coming out, before there was transitioning on your table. EVEN in the face of bullying and knowing being a lesbian was not desirable to the outside world you could not escape it and you came out. Perhaps because when you can’t escape you meet something head on and embrace it since that pulls power from the outsiders. 

When you and your partner are alone, away from all others. In the safety of you bed, talking softly and about your day or your plans tomorrow, the world gets no say. You both know that is true in your hearts and please don’t let those in the world, in our own community poison that with pressure and accusations. DO NOT give them control of  your heart, of your love. 

Best of luck and butch hugs to you.

[zombier-ose]

Coming Out

I'm mostly doing this because I need the practice of coming out about this and what better way than screaming into the void of Tumblr?

So, it took damn near a decade after figuring out I'm definitely trans somehow, but I finally figured out how.

I'm bigender, specifically a woman and a man simultaneously, I don't flow between them at all, never have.

I'm still called R-ose, that's the name I chose a few years ago after figuring out I'm trans in the first place. The quick story behind my name is I specifically wanted my initials to spell something cool, and it ended up being R-OSE (hyphenated double first name because I love those). I wanted all my individual names to be gender neutral and meaningful on their own, but they'd spell something feminine. Also I sign things as r-o, because double first name, which still works out because when i sign things as "r-o's [thing]" it's still read out loud as "Rose" so yknow. I really like my name. You can just spell it as Rose, I 100% don't mind if other people don't put in the hyphen, I just put a lot of work into my name so why not use it yknow?

As for pronouns, I use what I just call she/him pronouns, so like alternating she/her and he/him pronouns. My biggest hope is when it comes to gendered terms (king/queen, ma'am/sir, girl/boy, etc etc etc) everyone will just use whatever term comes to mind first, but switch between the she/her and he/him pronouns as you go.

God I really hope my friends will accept that, it's the biggest thing holding me back from coming out to them anyway, because it would really hurt for them to be like "yeah that's cool but your pronouns are weird" like dude. bro. fella. I KNOW people aren't used to them but it would truly make me happier than I've been in so many years. I've never had a good relationship with gender and pronouns, I just want a tiny morsel of gender euphoria if you could be so kind

anyways if you want to read the whole gender explanation story, i put it under the keep reading thing. : ) <3 - R-ose

For the past few years I had completely given up on figuring it out. Genderfluid didn't feel right but it's just what I'd tell people IRL so they wouldn't catch onto the DID thing. And if I'm nonbinary, why do I not relate to nonbinary people at all? Will I ever figure out my gender or is it all so difficult because I'm 99% sure I'm autistic? How do I feel SO MANY gender feelings but after almost 10 years I had gotten no closer to figuring out what fits?

I completely gave up. I wouldn't talk about gender with new people. If my friends told them I'm nonbinary I wouldn't care. If gender was relative to the conversation, I'd just say I was trans and never elaborate under any circumstance.

But I figured it out a few months ago! I'm bigender. specifically, I always experience being a woman and a man simultaneously, I don't flow between them at all. So while I'm technically nonbinary, like, under the umbrella of nonbinary, that's not my gender label.

I have this joke within myself that I used to think I was outside the gender binary, but turns out I'm the whole damn thing!

I'm not really comfortable getting into any online spaces about being bigender because as far as i've seen, a lot of outdated understandings and terms are used that really hit me weird. i hope that people come to realize that bigender literally just means you experience exactly 2 genders somehow and you don't have to switch between them like a genderfluid person would. I certainly don't, never have. it's such a simple identity, but for some reason people still really don't like it.

[crows-of-teal]

Imma start logging my gender journey, just for my sake.

A few years ago, I started IDing as non-binary after watching an Ash Hardell video and realizing my lack of connection between my body.

Some time between 9th and 10th grade, I described my gender as being masculine or masc-aligned. I did my best to present masc within my bounds—having transphobic parents I’m not out to. I IDed as a demiguy/boyflux.

Since at least last year, I started realizing that my gender felt different. I would have times where I felt mostly masculine, but more often than not, I felt more feminine or neutral. I dressed more fem, nowadays, with this confusion about what my gender meant. More recently, I stopped using specific labels, like demigirl or genderfluid, due to my confusion.

Providing context for my new revelation: I was watching a play at my local uni’s theatre… long-story short, it was partially about Charlie Brown exploring his sexuality and when he was talking about his experience kissing and sleeping with another boy, I felt an odd connection. Like, all of my being was suddenly like “that’s what I want.” And needless to say, I was shocked. Since then, I’ve been feeling quite masculine in my gender, and I’m not sure how to feel about this. Nothing’s changed except for the way I feel or perceive myself, and I realize I feel more connected with masculine-aligned people. Calling myself a man is not off the table, but it’s not on it. And I’m not sure if I always truly felt this way and buried it for a while or if my feelings really did change. But right now, I’m happy (or at least somewhat amused and entertained) by my fem presentation, and I’ve settled with transmasc, and I’m kinda happy with that! :)

And I understand it’s unconventional for a couple lines in a play to make one realize their gender, but fuck it all!

[insert meme about “it’s my gender and i get to chose what makes me realize it” or some shit]

[sister-dear]

Okay, so you mentioned that Wild was another favorite... Headcanons please? [Watch me just keep doing this until I see every single boy get headcanons XD]

Yeah so I'm just gonna keep doing these lol. Let's see if I can get through all the boys by the end of the weekend.

Wild Headcanons!

As before, here’s the giant mis-mash of canon/LU canon/fanon/headcanon that I use for writing Wild.

Genderfluid. Defaulted to ‘he’ after waking up because it’s what everyone around him assumed, got slapped in the face in Gerudo Town with how good it felt to be called ‘she.’ Zelda knows to use ‘she’ when Wild is dressed a certain way, but it’s Hyrule who brings up the idea of being gender neutral and Warriors who introduces them both to the term ‘genderfluid’ and to using ‘they’ as a pronoun. Basically, Wild is slowly collecting pronouns like candy and it’s very exciting. They can’t wait to share the new things they’ve discovered on the topic and how they think it applies to them with Zelda; she’ll be just as happy about it as they are. Still mostly defaults to ‘he’ out of a combination of habit and continuing to figure out good signals for when their pronouns change, but that is shifting as time goes on.

Functionally aro/ace, at least for now. He’s focusing on rediscovering who he is and establishing familial and platonic relationships. Will probably hit one hell of an experimental phase before too much longer.

Wild’s journey/story arc is largely one of experimentation and self discovery. Curiosity is the driving force behind most of the decisions he makes. (Along with just having fun. Wild loves to have fun.)

Adventure buddies with Hyrule. They pretty much bonded instantly over their shared love of exploration and nature.

Has lots of similarities with Wind even though they don’t see eye to eye on certain topics. (Kings of Hyrule, anyone?) When Wild is feeling their silliest or just needs to have some fun to let off steam, Wind is the one they turn to.

Slightly intimidated by Warriors and Sky. Warriors seems a model knight, something Wild feels he failed to be and maybe even slightly resents. Sky also talks about being in the Knight Academy, and of course there was the whole thing with the Master Sword. Wild very much does not want Sky to get mad at him again. Nobody likes it when Sky is mad at them.

Obviously has strong familial feelings towards Twilight, and by extension Time

Has sass, generally more positive than Legend but not afraid to throw hands

Occasionally has depressive episodes and the memory-flashbacks

Wild doesn’t actually cook all the groups’ meals. He’s not the only one who is competent around a cook pot, he’s just the most passionate about it. And also the one who keeps most of the group’s food, given the slate’s ability to keep food fresh.

Wild is in fact very frustrated and somewhat humiliated by the shitty quality of his weapons, now that he’s seen enough of the others to know that none of them have the same issues with stuff just breaking as he does. Knowledge of how to care for and maintain weapons was not one of the things that carried over from his previous life, plus he keeps doing things like hitting frigging rocks with his blades. The others are slowly teaching him better.

Adrenaline. Junkie.

Thinks of their past self as a stranger who happened to inhabit their body. Had anxiety-induced muteness pre-calamity, began talking again after they woke up. They did retain sign language. Will occasionally default to it if their throat is paining them.

Has a bit of a rasp due to vocal chord damage that the shrine didn’t quite fix all the way; his voice starts to get tired if he does a lot of talking. The scars sometimes cause him mobility issues. The masseuse in gerudo town gave him oil for them and taught him how to massage the tissue to help, but he tends to forget to do it.

Hair is constantly tangled. He takes a stab at brushing it most days but not nearly thoroughly or often enough to keep it from turning into a horrible rats nest.

Is it gonna be fun? Great it’s a good idea let’s go.

Considers basically everybody in his Hyrule to be his family. Has adopted family in pretty much every race, village, and stable. His Hyrule loves him and he loves them back. Kass and Teba are like dads. Riju is his BFF and fellow pun enthusiast. The villagers of Hateno are especially protective of both him and Zelda once she comes to live with him there. There’s Impa and Dorian in Kakariko. Sidon and Paya are both potential Significant Other material if he ever becomes interested in that stuff. He gets fussed over in all the stables, greeted with enthusiasm in Tarrey Town and with the Gorons… Most of the citizens of his Hyrule don’t have any association between him and what happened 100 years ago, they just know him as the person who made things better this time.

Falls into a sibling relationship with their Zelda post-adventure. Neither of them have any interest in restoring the system that failed both of them so badly, especially after all the time that has elapsed. Zelda is quite happy with the opportunity to just be herself, exploring and experimenting and re-establishing relationships of her own.

One of the more religious of the group. He prays and leaves offerings at every statue, in every temple. Wild’s Hyrule has very active spirits and a large variety of religions, both ancient and current. (Hylia, the little ancestor statues all over the place, the dragons, the Gerudo seven, Malanya…) Wild’s personal experience has been that paying basic respects leads to good things (finding Koroks, increases in health and stamina, someone watching out for his horses…)

Wild takes lots of pictures, not just of people but of places and plants and animals. He’s recording his travels to show Zelda when he gets home. He knows she would kill him if he didn’t.

The others: Four | Sky | Legend | Hyrule | Warriors

[starlightrosari]

Nonbinary labels for my gender

Genderfluid, agenderflux, librafluid, demifluid.

These labels explain my relationship to gender, with genderfluid working as an umbrella term for my gender being one which is fluid or changing and not static.

However, my gender is always partially nonbinary, which is why I also like more specific labels like the other few is because they specify that I never feel entirely binary.

Nonbinary, agender, gender neutral, stellarian, genderqueer, demigender, neutrois, androgyne, ningender, demienby

These labels explain my static gender of nonbinary. I sometimes feel partially nonbinary and another part something else, and other times I feel entirely nonbinary.

Figuring out what label describes my neutral feelings best is complicated, so I haven’t decided if I’m more agender or an in between gender, but I’m working on that understanding and these labels all work for different reasons.

Demigirl, librafeminine, lunarian, fem enby, fingender, girlflux

These labels explain my fluid feminine gender. I think I may feel feminine at different intensities depending on the time, but I always feel somewhat nonbinary, and I rarely feel more female then nonbinary.

Each of these labels explain a different feeling of femininity. Demigirl (for me) is for feeling more girly or maybe even part girl, lunarian is for when I feel mostly nonbinary but with a twinge of femininity, and girlflux is to identify my fluctuating intensities of feeling like a girl when I’m fluid on the fem side.

Demiboy, libramasculine, solarian, masc enby, mingender

These labels are for my fluid shift to masculine enby feelings. I never feel I am a boy, but I sometimes feel a connection to masculinity, either through feeling partially like a boy or just neutral but masculine.

I only just recently discovered my masculine feelings of gender and they��re more rare than my feminine gender feelings. My feelings of dysphoria or euphoria and of being partially a boy are always week, so it’s hard to pinpoint when I’m feeling it, but like my feminine feelings, they come and go.

Bigender (demigirl and demiboy), pangender

These are also new and rare feelings, but I realized sometimes I feel masculine and feminine genders all at once while simultaneously still feeling a bit neutral gender. These labels are for when I feel more genders then usual.

Figuring out I could sometimes feel three genders at once was confusing because I thought for so long I was either demigirl or agender, so I didn’t explore masculinity much or feeling many genders at once and on top I tried to find one perfect label for my gender, but realizing my gender is fluid has given me freedom to feel gender, no matter how weak that feeling is. As it turns out, being fluid with a static gender of enby means I can sometimes feel boyish girlish and nonbinary all at once. It’s very fun when that happens.

[raavenb2619]

I'm afab, very ace, and gender stuff has been confusing? And a lot of stuff I have seen describes a connection/sort of a disconnect between themselves and the term but... I never felt connected to any gender bits in the first place. People mostly use she/her, sometimes they/them, but rarely he/him have been used for me and that's chill, too. Genderfluid/flux seem to describe a connect that I don't have, and I am not sure about agender. Any advice/help you could offer on this, please?

I can’t determine your labels for you, because the only person who can do that is you. That said, here’re some things that might help. 

Do you feel gender? That is, do you think of yourself as relating to gender in some way? Do you feel like you’re a boy, or connected to masculinity in some way? Do you feel like you’re a girl, or connected to femininity in some way? Do you feel like you’re maverique, or somehow connected to a gender that isn’t defined at all in terms of male or female? If you’re having trouble figuring out the answers to these questions, try saying (either out loud or in your head) “I’m ____” or “I feel ____”, and fill in the blanks with lots of different terms like boy, girl, nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, maverique, demigender, etc. 

If you don’t feel gender, that’s a pretty good indication that you might be agender. Even if you aren’t confident that you don’t feel gender, if you can’t really point to any moment when you’ve felt gender or felt associated with some of the words I suggested in the last paragraph, you might be agender. Figuring out you’re agender can be pretty tricky because it’s hard to be confident that you really feel nothing, but it’s easy to worry that you feel something that you keep not noticing. One helpful realization for me was that people who feel gender kind of just...feel gender? They feel like they are their gender. They feel connected to their gender. Saying “I’m ____” feels right when they fill in their gender. 

If you do feel gender, see if you can determine different things about it. Does it always feel the same, or does it change sometimes? Does it feel like it’s getting stronger or weaker, or moving between different “flavors” of gender, or both? Does the flavor (or flavors) feel connected to masculinity? What about femininity? Is it connected to both, or neither, or feel sort of neutral? Does it feel like something that’s just independent of male and female, and can’t be described by relating to the gender binary at all? 

You mention that you’re very ace. Do you feel like your asexuality influences your gender in some way, or that the way you think about and perceive gender is related to your asexuality? If so, you might find the label “acegender” useful. Also, if you want, you can use umbrella terms like “nonbinary”, “trans”, “not cis”, “questioning”, etc as identity terms. After all, you don’t have to find a specific label if you don’t want to, but even if you do, you don’t have to disclose it to everyone if you don’t want to. Your labels are ultimately your decision, so they should be a decision that’s helpful and makes sense for you. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions. 

[vespamultimuse]

The other night I found some family hcs I typed up forever ago so I guess I should post them here, they’re under the cut.

Mika's Parents -His dad's name is Takahiro and his mom's name is Akari. -His parents are very supportive of his dream, which is why they were okay with him going to Yumenosaki and even moving in with Shu so he wouldn’t have to travel so far everyday. He talks to them everyday through texting, though it’s mostly his mom since his dad can barely use his phone. -He was adopted when he was 8 years old. -Akari and Takahiro had tried for many years to have a child until tests confirmed that Akari was infertile. They were both heartbroken but decided to adopt since they really wanted a kid. -It took Mika a while to call them mom and dad instead of Mrs. and Mr. Kagehira. He also seemed unsure of how to act at his new home and would frequently ask if it was really okay for him to stay there.

Rei and Ritsu's Parents -Their mom's name is Miyo and their dad is Naito -They are very wealthy. They live in a huge, old-styled house. -They aren't the best parents but they aren't the worst either, just a tad bit neglectful. They let Rei stay out late and do as he pleases, which is pretty much every teenagers dream. They never gave Ritsu much attention, especially as he got older. -They had Rei as their heir, but they didn't really want Ritsu. Miyo actually wanted a girl and was disappointed that Ritsu was a boy.

Subaru's Parents -His dad's name is Ren and his mom's name is Yukiko. -When his dad was imprisoned, he and his mom were shunned by everyone, to the point they had to move to try and get away from it all. -Yukiko use to love idols just as much as Subaru did. But after Ren's death, she couldn't feel as excited about them anymore. -Yukiko had a hard time finding a job after Ren's death. Right now she works at convience store close to her house.

Arashi's Family -Arashi's dad is Hiroto, their mom is Tamako and their older brother is Mitsue. -Tamako is way more understanding about Arashi's gender identity than Arashi's father and brother. -Hiroto and Mitsue don't really accept Arashi as genderfluid. But since she accepts he/him pronouns it doesn't bother her too much. -Her mom is a model and the one who got Arashi into the modeling industry. -Tamako is also very supportive of Arashi's idol career and goes to see all of Knights' performances

Mao's Family -His dad's name is Asahi and his mom's name is Hana. His little sister's name is Yui. -His parents don't really care about him, they care more about his sister than him. Mao does his best to not let it bother him. -His little sister is very bratty and always gets what she wants. Despite that, Mao still cares about her, since they are family.

Kaoru's Family -His dad is named Seiichi, Mom is named Chika, brother is named Yukio and his sister is named Hotaru. -Like known in canon, Kaoru's mom is dead and his dad isn't the best. -His dad is a horrible parent to Kaoru. He treats Kaoru much differently than he treats Kaoru's siblings. -He's also very homophobic, which is why Kaoru is so adamant to claim he is straight. -Kaoru has a wonderful relationship with his sister, they get along really well. He and his brother are more on neutral terms.

Akatsuki's Parents -His mom's name is Maki. -Akatsuki (formerly known as Akira) was adopted when he was a young child by the Iride couple after their biological son Akatsuki died due to health complications. -His adoptive dad was supposedly killed in a laboratory accident. The accident left his mom more traumatized and unstable which leads to her sanity breaking down. -Akira's mom becomes unable to distinguish between him and her late son. She even went as far to suggest Akira gets a name change and he surprisingly agreed. -Although his mother is seemingly delusional and mentally unbalanced, Akatsuki loves his mother dearly and does not see her as a nuisance or burden. -Paka is Akatsuki's adoptive father. Akatsuki is unaware of this. (This comes from a theory I found, I really like the idea) *It is also hinted that Akatsuki is Himiko's older brother that was given up for adoption.

Hibiki's Parents -His mom's name is Utano and his dad's is Yuichi -Hibiki's parents were very negligent. They never paid attention to him as a kid and were always away at work. They expected Hibiki to have good grades though, but all the studying caused Hibiki to get bullied. -Daichi's parents were more of parents to him than his actual mom and dad. They would often let Hibiki stay at their house and would even make sure he was eating properly. -Hibiki didn't even care or wonder about his parents during the apocalypse. He was more willing to help Daichi and Io try to get home to see their parents rather than check on his parents.

[powerfultulips]

trans asks gimme the trans asks

1. How did you choose your name?

trial and error

2. What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)

having to shave

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

social

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

talk to friends who see me as myself

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

idk i was probably in college

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

i don’t think it really set in until i was 20 or 21

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

being sexy and epic

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

i’m girl but i also have no gender. but i have all the genders. and i’m baby.

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

i think i mainly used social media to come out

10. What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

haven’t tried

11. What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

haven’t tried. i’ve worn binders, but i’m amab. i just like how they feel

12. Do you pass?

god no

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

i’m still not sure, i don’t know if i’ll medically transition at all tbh. can’t get over my fears of surgery and pills

14. How long have you been out?

a couple years i think?

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

basically all of them. mlm, genderfluid, demiboy, nonbinary, lesbian, bi/pan, aroace.... yeehaw.

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?

probably, but i’m very naïve

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

usually i go to the boys’ bathroom because i don’t wanna get beat up. if there’s a gender-neutral bathroom i will use it about 80% of the time

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

i think they’re slowly accepting it, but they really suck at using my pronouns

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

no, i don’t want to

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

it’s okay to be a girl

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?

comforble

22. Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?

yeah

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

other than like straight-up getting murdered, probably just not being able to transition

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

i’ve come out to most people in my life, but medically i haven’t done anything.

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

how much their words can hurt

26. What impact has being trans affected your life?

helped me make a lot of nice friends

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

i save things on tumblr to look at later

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?

shrugs. i don’t consume a lot of media but i think it would be cool to have more trans rep

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

nat /@/ puff aka left at london

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

probably like, my fiancé tbh (does olives is out their bf????)

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

i mostly just try to be a good role model and mentor to younger trans folks.

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

probably similar to how i am now, i’d like to try wearing more dresses and skirts and like. fishnets and ripped jeans and the whole punk look,,,, but realistically i will probably just be sitting here in a t-shirt, boxer briefs, and sweatpants

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?

it should be easier to legally change your name, and also trans fucking rights babey

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

you’re valid and beautiful and i want to give you lots of hugs

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

hm. i’m fairly privileged so i guess i can’t speak for some of these, but i do consider myself disabled. i dunno how they interact though *shrugs*

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

i identify as nonbinary, but i would like to express myself more femininely. androgyny would be good too though

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

feminine

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

i just use queer at this point tbh

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

t4t gang babey

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

i simply sit here and vibe

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

@transgenderteensurvivalguide​ is good

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

yes but not enough of them. want more trans friends

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

kinda casually, but yeah

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

my bonus question is uhhhhh i love u @literally-an-envelope will u marry me

[canon-notcanon-warriorcats]

Im gonna come to you for this because you're honestly like an idol to me (Im sure you hate to hear that lmao) and I feel like you would understand. You're non-binary right? I can't remember if you spoke about it but you use "they/them" pronouns and Im gonna assume that for the sake of the question. Either way! I've been questioning identifying as something other than cis-gendered. How did you know? And have you told people? What's the difference between relating to and empathizing with a problem

oh my god klsnalksm;lakdns;am i’m so honored thank you, but really i’m no one to idolize i’m an unemployed adult who is stuck in life who makes jokes and shit posts about fictional cats but thank you sidjk;lsz;

sorry this took so long to answer i was too tired and i wanted to think on it for a while so i can answer everything well and be at least hopefully a little organized and my answers/explanations to be legible

also this is getting long so i’m putting the rest of this under the cut wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

Yes! I am (at least partially) non-binary, I’m genderfluid and for me in particular I’m a girl sometimes, both a boy and a girl mixed together, and something in between all at once and at different times depending on who knows what, i’m like when you put soda in a cup and then put all of the different fountain drinks in at varying amounts and you do that each time you go to the restaurant but with different amounts of each soda, but like it’s USUALLY a pepsi base

anyway, it took me a long time to know, or i guess realize that i wasn’t cis because i guess i didn’t know i could? but in hindsight there were a LOT of signs and starting when i was 17 i think i started dipping my toes in different gender identities after i found out about the term “demigirl” and that’s what i kind of stuck with for a while

and then i questioned myself like am i really trans? i’m afab and identify as a demigirl does that really count (yes it does) but anyway after i went to college i was like no i think it’s just because several of my friends were questioning their gender, i’m a girl, and it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i finally FULLY realized “no, my gender is fluid, and i am a girl PLUS somethings between boy and girl and sometimes they all mixed together, sometimes all at once, sometimes individually (though very rarely FULL boy)

some things that i recognize in hindsight were signs (or were just weird foreshadows/coincidences of me being a mix of genders and it’s amusing now) include:

-when i was like 7 or 8 or 9 or something i made an image of what i’d look like as an adult in my head (or just older since in my fantasy i was 13 years old because that was obviously old enough to be a billionaire and own a castle and adopt children and a million animals and be a pokemon master, but i thought of an adult body) and my face was pretty feminine but my body shape was very masculine, flat chest, rectangular body shape, wore men-styled-ish jeans, and thickish arms

-in 7th grade for “some reason” i spent several moments thinking about what would happen if one day i came in as a boy named michael (since that’s kInD oF the “male” or “masculine” version of my name) and if like they’d recognize me or if they’d change my name on the registration or if anyone’d get confused or anything, this was also the year i found out that sex changes were a thing, i think, either 7th grade or 6th grade

-and the big one(s) for like my ENTIRE LIFE, even to this day, i would feel so confused if a girl talked to me like i was another one of the girls, specifically if they would like ask if their shirt tag was poking out and asking me to fix it, or ask if their bra strap could be seen through their shirt, asking me if their hair or clothes looked okay, asking to walk to the bathroom with them, GOING to the girls’ bathroom in general, chaning in the girls’ sometimes even being called a girl entirely, etc. made me feel

weird

like an “i’m not one of you” or “i’m not entirely like you” feeling and i thought that it was just because i’m awkward and shy and anxious that i went into the wrong room and then later oh i’m just gay and then to my realization: “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh that’s why” and “oh, i was anxious i went into the wrong bathroom/changing room, but i also felt like i shouldn’t be in that room anyway because i’m not just a girl or not entirely a girl”

i also have and had a lot of dreams where like i was either a guy, felt almost genderless entirely, or where i would for some reason go into male bathrooms/changing rooms even though i’m not a guy (entirely or mostly)

also i i realized my favorite shirts were the ones that made my boobs look smaller or less existent, my voice would confuse me, either it being too high or low and make me confused uncomfortable because it “didn’t fit” my gender, and sometimes being called a girl or someone saying i looked like a woman made and makes me uncomfortable, and i guess the most nsfw/graphic part of this is that sometimes i fantasize and/or wish i had like

a mix of genitalia and i wish i could change my breast size and upper body shape to be flatter/more rectangular, but it’s mostly the genitalia thing, the body shape changing parts don’t happen ALL the time and not as much, but still sometimes especially if i see someone’s more masculine body and i’m just like “wow i wish that were me”, though being overweight kind of helps in that because my body shape looks more neutral, if i was thin i might have more problems with that

also, especially lately for some reason i get very irritated or uncomfortable if certain people call me a girl or she/her, very certain people i’m okay with calling me a girl and she/her but to people i don’t know well or aren’t super close to i don’t want to be referred to as she/her i don’t want to be perceived as she/her i want to be referred to as they/them

a lot of people have much more intense feelings and it’s more obvious, but they can often times be a lot more subtle and it’s okay if you don’t have INTENSE feelings of dysphoria, there’s also gender euphoria, which i think i, personally, experience more than dysphoria

i like it when people act or refer to me gender neutrally, i like it when my chest looks flatter, i like it when people use they/them for me, i like it when i feel content about knowing that i’m not cis and that i’m a mix of genders, i like thinking of myself as a gender mutt/mix or whatever, it feels GOOD, euphoric

i guess it’s hard to tell if you’re empathizing or relating, and i can’t tell you which one it is since i don’t know the particulars and i don’t know you, but what i DO know, is like 99% of time, if someone has to ask themselves “am i cis?” or “am i straight?” the answer is “no” because cis or straight people almost never even think about it or question their identity and even if the answer DOES end up being “yes, i am cis” then that’s absolutely perfectly completely valid and fine, you figured out who you are and you were in a mindset and in a safe enough space that you could figure it out for yourself and find out more about yourself

and finally, as for the telling people thing, it depends on the situation, i don’t really talk about it in real life, none of my biological family knows because my parents have shown pretty transphobic and nbphobic tendencies and if i told my brother or his fiancee then they’d start treating it like it’s some special thing and basically do that straight people thing where they like overcompensate being happy for you or supporting you or where they start talking about their other friends who aren’t straight or aren’t cis and famous people or characters that aren’t cis or straight and like i can’t deal with that

all of my friends know though, and i’m open about online and i don’t have any significant other(s) to tell but if/when i get in a relationship and on dating apps i’m explicit that i’m non-binary and genderfluid and basically not cis and before i get in a relationship i plan on talking to them about it and being like “hey if you see me as a cis girl this will not work out” they’ll also have to respect my sexuality of course and see me AS bisexual and demiacearo, not straight if i’m dating a guy and not a lesbian if i’m dating a girl, never date someone who doesn’t respect your gender or identity or doesn’t see you as who you are, or won’t let you have some wiggle room to let you figure out who you are, so that’s an extra piece of advice there for ya

i hope that made enough sense! sorry this was long and i might have blabbered on, but i hope at least some of this helps!