#and the fact that the name of this theme translates to (i think) “The Madness of Love” is absolutely amazing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

twstgarden · 1 year ago

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✰ ❝ 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗿𝘂𝗻 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝗲? ❞

━ yan! malleus draconia, yan! vil schoenheit x gn! reader (reader can either be yuu or an oc/twstsona) ━ it seems you have caught the eye of a certain dorm leader(s) in night raven college, but it doesn't seem like he'll let you run off and not be his. you have no choice but to marry him, and you have no choice but to be his perfect lover.

cw: (including but not limited to) yandere themes, mentions of kidnapping, slight dollification, non-consensual drug use, possessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships, mentions of forced marriage

requested by: anonymous request type: oneshot requester’s message: Hello mina!! Can i please request a yandere vil or malleus one-shot any pronouns is good hehe and i really really LOVE your dévouement like when there's an update to the main story i always thought your story first tbh im more excited to your story than the main hehe that's all sorry for the rant thank you po have a great day!!♡´･ᴗ･`♡ florist’s note: hello po, dévouement reader! <3 i'm really glad you love the book! i have dropped an update on that a few days ago~ as for your request, i'll do both vil and malleus, thank you for your request!

might include spoilers for chp 6 and 7! f/n means first name. do not steal or translate without my permission.

— 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙪𝙨 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙖 —

the silence was deafening in this godforsaken room. you were not even certain if you are locked up in the main castle of the dormitory or in the other area connected to it on the right side of diasomnia's map. you have been here for days, or was it weeks? months? you do not know.

all you knew is you missed a lot of classes now and you have no idea if your friends are searching for you at this very moment.

it has been way too quiet for a while now, it was starting to drive you mad.

you want to be free from this room, you want to speak to another living being, you want to take in the scent of fresh air, you want to be away from him.

everything was fine at the start, or so you thought. you had no idea what you did wrong for him to kidnap you in your sleep and lock you up in this room. you had no chains or ropes tied to your wrists and ankles. in fact, you were not even tied to anything at all! you can freely jump off the window to escape if you wish to.

oh, please. of course, you have tried that. and where did you end up? still in this room. it seems like he used some sort of magic in this room to make it hard for you to escape.

it was a huge disadvantage that you had to be kidnapped by one of the most powerful mages in the world.

'click.'

a noise.

finally. the silence was starting to drive you mad already. your eyes widened as you watched the door slightly open ajar before a tall figure entered the room, closing the door behind him as he approached you. he sat on the corner of the bed and smiled gently at you as if he did not just abduct you and lock you up in this room.

"my dear..."

his voice was deep and tender, clearly lovestruck by you as he caressed your cheek gently with the back of his hands. however, your eyes remained on the door, thinking of ways to escape and run away from here.

he seemed to have noticed your lingering gaze on the exit door, which made him frown as he placed his finger under your chin and pulled your face up to look at him.

and once your eyes met his pained gaze, his finger stroked your cheek as he whispered, "please don't look at the door. i don't want to feel like you're trying to run away from me."

"then set me free."

you demanded softly, wanting to keep that slightly peaceful conversation going, not wanting to piss him off as you still wish to go to sleep with all four limbs intact. his pained gaze turned even sadder as he sat closer to you, "but why? i give you everything you could possibly need. we are to be wed soon, my love. you'll have all the riches you need, you'll have the finest jewellery and clothes in the world, you'll live in my palace and be royalty..."

it might sound like a dream, but it isn't what you desire. you don't even see him in a romantic way either. you wanted to tear up as you imagined your future the moment he mentions marriage, "...i don't want those. i want to go back... i want to see my friends... i don't want to get married, i don't want to become a royal consort with no freedom..."

your words seemed to make him upset. who would reject his offer? he's giving you everything that he thinks would make you happy! his eyes narrowed as he looked at you and huffed, "why would you choose that? all they do is take you away from me."

"i was never yours to begin with!" you argued as tears started to prickle at the corner of your eyes, growing desperate to be free and be away from him and anyone associated with him.

after your little outburst, it was uncomfortably silent in the room, only your soft sniffles and breathing were heard as he sat before you with an unreadable expression, but you knew he was pissed as hell now.

he suddenly stood up and turned his back on you, walking away from the bed and heading to the door. the last thing you heard from him before he left your room and locked the door made you want to sob even more.

"we are getting married whether you like it or not. you do not have a choice."

— 𝙫𝙞𝙡 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙣𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙩 —

the lights of pomefiore's bedrooms normally appear aesthetically pleasing to you, but right now, it served as a frustrating reminder that you have been in the same room for more than 24 hours now, staring at the same objects over and over again, unable to move your limbs to run away from this wretched room.

the brush tickling your cheeks, as it applied a red hue to them, felt like thorns brushing and scratching your skin despite its softness. it was unbearable. you have been sitting on this vanity chair for far too long now, not even sure of how you look like with how you've been tickled and dabbed with makeup brushes and sponges all day long.

a pair of amethyst eyes carefully watched as his hands did all the work on dolling up your face. once he was satisfied, he turned the vanity chair around to make you face the mirror.

you look like a fashion doll.

at least it was better than looking like a clown caked with makeup.

you had to admit, his skills were good. the makeup suits you perfectly and the outfit he made you wear looks gorgeous on you, but it would have been better if he did not paralyze you in the first place with his unique magic by cursing your drink.

you could not respond. you could not even move your hand to touch your face, but he seemed very pleased with himself as he caressed your cheek with the back of his hand.

"you look perfect."

perfect.

you were nothing but perfect in his eyes right after he dolls you up every time. you felt like you were just a mannequin for him to beautify and show off to everyone, claiming you were his darling lover, that you would forever be the love of his life.

even if you were paralyzed, your eyes filled up with tears. you wanted nothing more than to run away from this place and hide. vil clicked his tongue at the sight of your tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.

"if you dare mess up my work with your tears, i'm cursing your drink again and i'll redo everything."

you wished you could stop, but his threats sent your heart throbbing with fear as you could not hold it in anymore. tears started to roll down your cheeks as the fear in your heart grew, wishing you could just disappear in the blink of an eye, but alas, you were not blessed with magic, unlike everyone else in this prestigious academy.

vil groaned and harshly held your face by your cheeks, messing up the makeup with your tears and making you look at the mirror as he glared at your reflection, "look what you've done."

and as if the gods have heard your plea, you can suddenly move again. it has been past the time limit of when his unique magic's conditions are met, and once you regained your mobility, you held onto his wrist and tried to pull his hand away from your face.

"please, stop! i'm sorry, i'll fix it!" you pleaded, sobbing even more as vil pulled his hand away from your face and landed a slap on your cheek before making you look at him again. "fix? you're not even good enough to apply makeup on your own," hissed the man harshly as he glared at you.

he sighed as he stood straight, closing his eyes and placing his fingers on his temple to show how stressed he was. the pomefiore dorm leader looked at you with a glare before grabbing your cup on his bedside table, refilling it with your drink of choice and casting his unique magic on it.

this time, his conditions included a longer time limit than earlier.

vil stood before you with the cursed or drugged drink and held your face with one hand to try and pry your mouth open. he brought the glass to your lips, forcing you to drink the beverage as you started hitting his arm and struggling, hoping he would stop forcing the cursed drink down your throat, but his strength was overwhelming. his grip on your cheeks made it feel like your face was about to break if he gripped you a little harder.

you struggled to push him away as he forced the drink down your throat, and once he was finished, he placed the cup on his desk and made you sit properly, leaving you paralyzed in that same position once again.

tears continued to stream down your cheeks as you sobbed and pleaded for him to stop. at least this time, his conditions did not include taking away your ability to speak. vil leaned down to look at you right into your fearful eyes as he whispered, "stop looking so frightened when i'm around."

vil gave you a small smile before placing a tender kiss on your forehead. it felt patronising, as if he was taking any ounce of authority you have left in you and taking full control of your life. he leaned his cheek on your head as you both looked into your reflections in the mirror, seeing his endearing smile after doing something drastic to you made you sick to your stomach.

how could he smile after treating you so harshly?

"i'm only doing this out of love, my darling. you have to look perfect before we go out for dinner, no?"

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puffyducks · 26 days ago

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DCRC Week #19 (Part 1)

Hey do you guys remember that soap opera that Donald likes to watch, Anxieties? Well buckle up cause today we're reading PKNA #15: Camera, Action! which is all about the cast of Anxieties getting attacked by (you guessed it) EVIL EVRONIAN INVADERS!!! I don't remember much of this story past the fact that it's a pretty silly and lighthearted issue so letsgo

Bro locked in and hit the Dreamworks face

guys he's just silly... hi Donald 👋

I can't tell if this chapter is supposed to take place in the real life Isla de Providencia in Colombia or if this is supposed to be a fictional place cause I've never heard it referred to as "the republic" before lol

Footage of the writers of the Ducktales reboot (circa. 2017)

What a freak I love her <3

I'm really glad to know Donald and Uno just sit around and watch soap operas together, especially since Everett Ducklair originally just left Uno by himself and didn't want him letting anyone on the secret floor. FUCK YOU EVERETT we're watching Anxieties without you 🖕

guy that looks suspiciously like chris chan

WHAT NOOOOOOO I would never send my partner all the way to Colombia to infiltrate a film set just to get soap opera spoilers what

NOOOOOOOOO HE FUCKINF ESPLODED NOOOOOOOOOOOOooo oh nevermind he's fine

GUYS LOOK! IT'S ZOSTER AND ZONDAG! THE EVRONIANS THAT I CAN ONLY NAME BECAUSE THEY WERE THE TWO BOSSES FROM THE PK VIDEO GAME!!!

btw do people ship them together. cause if not can we start doing that? not because they'd make a good couple or whatever but because the concept of evronian yaoi is funny to me

see look they share trauma (and I don't mean the big evronian guy)

"anthropological studies" ok bro I know a silly billy when I see one!!!

Glad to see a group of people finally treat the Evronians with the fear and respect they ACTUALLY deserve

I'm gonna see big buff-armed Uno in my nightmares now thanks

Gotta say, I'm impressed with the number of explosions there have been in this issue given the fact that Xadhoom isn't here

Alright folks you know what the fuck it is, it's fucking TRIP TIME!!!! YIPPEEE YAHOO WOOHOO

First and foremost shoutout to the way the Raider is drawn here I think they should draw him like this all the time actually. Second of all TFYM "HONEST WORK" YOU'RE LITERALLY A TIME PIRATE 😭

Using time travel as a shortcut to riches eh??? I'm having flashbacks to a certain storm-themed cartoon episode... can't quite put my finger on it........

Shoutout to Trip meeting another version of himself and IMMEDIATELY starting beef, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

ALL THE FUCKING FACES HERE I'm so mad the art in these comics is so expressive and silly

NOOOOO TRIP DON'T SAY SLURS YOU CAN'T RECLAIM

Ok but seriously, this specific line has been haunting me for months because I was like "there's no way that's the original line right? Is there actually an Italian equivalent to the R slur or was the translator just having a bad day???" WELL TODAY I HAVE SOLVED THE CONUNDRUM ONCE AND FOR ALL. And the truth is:

Trip was fucking FRAMED!!! The original insult used was "babbeo" which, based on everything I can source online, roughly translates to "fool" or "idiot" or any other derogatory name that's basically just calling someone stupid. So like THEORETICALLY it could be translated to the R slur but it's a bit of an extreme take 😭

Anyways I'm not saying that Trip WOULDN'T say slurs, just that I needed closure and I finally have it.

Raider just coming home with groceries what the fuck is this outfit

I'm assuming this was all resolved in the same way as Steven and the Stevens where they had to make all the other Trips blink out of existence. And then they wrote a silly little song about it!

OKAY this is only my first post for this week I will be back later with Trick or Treat 🎃 in the meantime STAY SPOOKY FOLKS

#dcrc #dcrc week 19 #paperinik

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several-ravens · 6 months ago

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okay crazy theory time

i just finished episode 35 where there was a bunch of corridors under a club, and the witness describes a few of them as:

"it felt like i was going to fall into it"

"so dark that our torches didn’t seem to reach more than a few feet inside"

"it was damper, and the walls seemed oddly slimy" and "i put my hand onto the floor to push myself up, and it came away faintly tinged with red"

"flashes of a pile of paper, completely covered in cobweb"

"a figure stood in the darkness, a stranger i didn’t know but was sure meant me harm"

"my skin burning, hot, choking on smoke down there in the dark"

and these (infinity, darkness, flesh, spiders, weird strangers, intense heat) are all themes that are recurring in the episodes like i can name at least two episodes each off the top of my head, certainly more if i look into my beloved excel file

and the fact that there are 13 of those corridors makes me think there are 13 'recurring themes' and that they will all come into play very soon, and also that each have a leitner book associated (gerard found his mom's one in the flesh corridor but because it makes bones maybe it's not 'flesh' but like 'body' in general, though idk what the boneturner one would be other than 'body' too, and the ex altiora (which means 'from higher things' or whatever because it's impossible to translate latin properly anyway) would be the infinity one maybe)

i would like to add madness and death(?) to that list because i can also name a few episodes where these are the main themes

and maybe being hunted too? because even though it can be associated with either strangers or darkess in the two episodes i'm thinking of, it has also been designated as 'feeling hunted' too many times to not be suscpicious

oh and also the feeling of being watched when you can't see eyes/face, though it could be darkness too i guess, or fear of strangers but that's a bit far fetched

#NO SPOILERS PLEASE #this post took so long to make because everytime i though i was done i suddenly had something else to add #also i really appreciated the breekon and hope cameo (they weren't mentioned by name but i know in my soul it's them)#tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 1 year ago

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Alright guys, it's that time again. It's time for me to make completely unhinged in-depth theories on cartoon shows based on comic lore.

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Edition!

If you are unfamiliar with this series then congrats! You get to listen to the, hopefully entertaining, ramblings of a mad man.

But! If you, like me, binge watched this series and are now left with a burning hole in your chest wondering when season three will come out then congrats! You also get to listen to the ramblings of a mad man, this time with slightly more context!!!

One of the burning questions everyone was left with in the wake of Rottmnt and the movie was "who are the other two turtles?" See, Rise from its very inception had always intended on introducing two more turtle siblings to Raph, Leo, Donnie and Mikey's family dynamics. This inclusion can be seen as early as season one when there are six turtle pods shown on screen during the boy's origin story.

We, in fact, actually see one of the missing sisters in season 2 of the show. The character dubbed 'Big Mama's Assistant' is confirmed by the show runners to be a secret sibling and, if they had been given a season three, they would have revealed this at the end of season 2. Season three would then have been focused on the Hamato clan retrieving the missing sisters.

But who is Big Mama's Assistant? Is she Venus De Milo, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sister from the live action show? Is she Jennika, the turtle in yellow from the comics? Well I've got news folks. She's neither.

Tweets from the show runners confirm that Big Mama's Assistant was never intended to be Jennika or Venus, she was instead going to be an original character.... or was she?

Guys, gals and nonbinary pals, I submit to the court that Big Mama's Assistant is in fact an original character that is both an adaptation of Jennika and Venus.

First, let us establish some facts.

In the above images I would like you to acknowledge several things.

this sibling is in the height range of Donnie/Leo (as can be seen when compared to Big Mama's height).

this sibling has a thin shell, one that is barely noticeable under her clothes.

this sibling has a gigantic forehead.

this sibling wears a mask that shows markings that start at the eyes and wrap around the head.

this sibling's weapon of choice is neko-te.

Finally, this sibling seems to have two small fake turtle shells strapped to shoulder as shoulder pads.

So I raise the question: Who do we know that has a thin, barely visible shell, gigantic forehead, is approximately Donnie's height and wears prosthetic turtle shells? Donnie.

Yeah, folks I'm pretty sure this sibling is a softshell. She's wearing her own version of her 'battleshell' from her turtle tot days as shoulder pads. Actually, I'm pretty sure we see her green battleshell here:

And do you know what a Smooth Softshell Turtle looks like?

It's the same face markings. And it's yellow. Objectively, they have to use yellow for one of the two sisters because they gave April green in Rise.

"Alright," I hear you saying. "So you think she's a softshell, but what does that have to do with who she is??"

What a perfect segway question! Thank you so much for asking. Did you guys know that Venus' name isn't actually Venus? Venus is the alias that she uses to fight crime/be a ninja with her brothers/fit their art theme. Venus' actual name is Mei Pieh Chi which translates to Beautiful Softshell Turtle Energy.

So it is actually ENTIRELY possible for Big Mama's softshell turtle assistant to be an adaptation of Mei Pieh Chi without being named Venus. If she simply picks a different alias then we're all good. (I'm assuming the creators liked 'Frida' because Smooth Softshell Turtles look like they have intense eyebrows)

Alright, so we've established how Venus fits into this (aka Venus doesn't, Mei Pieh Chi does) but what about Jennika!? Well that one is actually super easy. Yeah, so remember how the mystery sibling uses neko-te?

Yeah, uh, Jennika's main weapon is a neko-te/tekkō-kagi mash up. (Aka Wolverine claws) I'm assuming she would use magic neko-te until she eventually unlocked her ninpō and got the wolverine upgrade (mirroring how the boys switched weapons) I'm also assuming that she would inherit Jennika's color (yellow), Jennika's sexuality (lesbian) and it's confirmed that she would inherit Jennika's personality (see below).

(also I'mma call it right now, she's autistic and I love her. She's Very Very Serious ™ aka she takes everything literally)

And now let's take a look at what I call "The reason Big Mama and Draxum already knew and hated each other, got into an argument about stealing stuff from each other and the reason why Draxum waited 13 years to do the whole mosquito backup plan":

"No, it would’ve been sweet, right? Like, at the end we see, like, maybe Draxum’s bodyguard takes off their mask and, you know, reveals a female sibling, and then there was, like, another one 'cause we thought it’d be great to investigate, ‘Okay, like, Splinter was able to save four out of six and maybe we just didn’t see the other two and, like, what would that be if they were raised by Draxum and Big Mama?’ And this would be something Draxum would admit to them at the end of season two." - Executive Producer, Andy Suriano

Guys, Draxum in season one is a divorced dad who lost custody. He went with the backup plan after THIRTEEN YEARS because his kid said "Fuck you, I'm living at Mom's house!" Draxum threw Leo off of a roof because the goatman had PTSD from his daughter rejecting him and nOW SUDDENLY THERE'S FOUR NEW KIDS THAT HATE HIM?!

Also, let's circle back to the other sister being "a little kooky from being trapped in another dimension for years." You know what'd be traumatic enough to abandon your parent and completely reject them? If they got your sister stuck in another dimension with no way out. You know what'd be a super good reason for Draxum not telling the boys about their sisters? If he LOST ONE.

But where oh where did this lost sister go and who is she? Well, I've got more on that but you'll have to wait for part two because I am out of pictures!

Thanks for being unhinged with me and see ya next time folks!

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #venus de milo #draxum #big mama #big mamas assistant #jennika #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #theory

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tamersa · 9 months ago

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The shitiest translation of a book (known to me) aka why Polish translation of Good Omens sucks hard

Let me take you on an adventure! Sadly it won’t be one during a nice and sunny day with happiness and laughter but rather a dreadful and containing mad giggles. What is that adventure you may ask? Why it’s an official Polish translation of Good Omens! Look at the photos below:

See all the plastic markers? Those are the mistakes I found in the book. But let me tell you. Those are not all of them! Just the major ones or ones that offends me the most.

You may ask: why did I use up most of my free time for over 2 months to do this?

Many years ago when I read the book for the first time I felt slightly disappointed. The book wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. It was weird, because I really liked T. Pratchett books from Disc World series. Maybe because there was other author? Or maybe the whole concept how the world was built? At that time I couldn’t even know that I would quite like the book in the future, and it wasn’t my younger mind fault that it was so confused. But the translation. Years later after watching the series I was wondering, why the book felt a bit off to me. And then my friend opened the book at a random, it was page no. 382, and found a mistake there. I thought it would be fun to compare both the original and the official translation. Oh what ‘fun’ it was.

THE HISTORY

First few facts to settle it in the time line.

The book was first published in 1990. T. Pratchett was 42 then, and N. Gaiman - 30. They co-wrote modern book settled in more or less the same time as it was published. It is important information to take here, because it might explain some of the terrible translation errors.

Polish version was first distributed in 1992. It had 2 translators Jacek Gałązka and Juliusz Witold Garztecki. It’s hard to tell more about the first one, but the other was 70 when he translated the book. Yes 70! And in his biography you can read, he was mostly rewarded for his books about army thins. My point is, while I don’t know much about this person I don’t think he was the right one for translating a book such as Good Omens. Maybe I’m biased, but just because there are some army men and some war themes in the book doesn’t mean it has the right vibes.

But let’s dive into the errors and just wrong stuff I found by getting Polish book, English version paperback and pdf version for faster search of phrases.

There are 2 major types of errors:

“Editors” (errors that are not based off wrong translation per se, just lazy editing and some weird choices of the redaction).

Prologue and 2 part switched – the book should start with Eden scene not the character names introduction. Yeah in many old fashioned books it was other way around but this is author decision! You shouldn’t switch it because it looks better for you that way!

- Chapters with numbers that not correspond with the parts in the book – yep in PL version chapters have numbers. What for? I don’t know, because there isn’t any table of content. And some chapter begin randomly not like bigger parts of the book.

- Lack of days of the week – It is important for the flow of the book yet we can’t read it like in the original at the begging of some pages 130- Lack of the dividing signs between paragraphs – sometimes there aren’t any. Because why to bother.

Lack of starting dialogue in a new line – there were few cases where someone didn’t drop a new line for dialogue and I was so confused who said what.

Lack of dialogue lines – in few places whole dialogue lines are missed

Interpunction mistakes, fast speaking with the comas not the dots – so pacing, that changes the flow of the book

Splitting text in general was terrible.

The capital letters, cursive and normal dialogue – in this book it is important what kind of font property we use – normal dialogue is different than Death speaking or Aziraphale talking in different bodies. But in this translation it is messed up. The angel speaks with capital letters like Death. That so not cool for me… and take those small pleasures reading the book.

You can also see PL version of the book has distinct change of tone in the middle. Why? Because you can tell almost exactly when the other translator started to work. And well, I think they didn’t communicate (don’t know the reason) because same stuff ,same words, even same names aren’t corresponding! You will see it later in the text.

story errors:

The first translator: looks like bitter man, who wants to correct the writers, adding 234532 not needed words, have sexist wording, and sometimes archaic speech. Makes one good joke and his translation of Agnes speech is nice. Maybe because he is closer to her times than to the times the book was written.

The major mistakes: too many words even for Polish version; Polish words are generally longer than English ones and sometimes you need to add words to have the same context. But this man goes so far with it is ridiculous. He takes 2 lines of good, easy translatable text that in PL would make max 3 lines and makes it to 5 lines. Why to add unneeded stuff?

Weird figures of speech that are not funny - those are really strong point in the Disc world book and in the original Good omens too. But the translation butchered those, drowning the wit and throwing random, sometimes even archaic, lines.

Crowley name – context mistake – Crowley name was Crawly first, the demon changed it later. Not in PL ver. Form the first line he was always Crowley.

Changing the text so context is changed too: like making an island form the a mountain, or changing a word that we don’t know if it’s a flame because the description is so vague. Or sometimes it is just translated wrong in general, changing the meaning.

Archaic words – like I’ve said it was modern book in the 90’. It wasn’t written in the 60’. Also new version of the book could be upgraded. Like in the 90 word ‘weekend’ wasn’t popular in Poland but now it is. So why do we have Saturday-Sunday and not just weekend…

The vulgarisms: bit too hardcore for a book that was co-made by terry Pratchett. Real Polish language has best vulgarisms and I love them but this book is not the place for most of them. Also because when they are there we could feel the impact. But you know what? Azz didn’t say his ‘Fuck’ line in PL version when being called back to heaven if page before it in translation he swears quite badly ( which also changes context…) Yep no “Fuck”… why the translator didn’t write “noż kurw…” or something? I don’t know…

Added words like “black Bentley”. In the original that phrase was used once or twice not like 10 times. The reader remember this car is black I can assure you…

Added whole sentences: sometimes the translator adds whole sentence without a reason. It is not his book… really…

Billion in Polish is not billion or million it is MILIARD – yep, those people are not great with numbers.

Lack of sentences: too many lines before? Let’s cut some of them out… I don’t know why but such a thing happens here too. Example is the Crowley pen scene.

Context mistake with the Bentley bullet holes – one of most confusing paragraph in PL version. I didn’t know what the hell (or heaven) is going on. So I read the original and everything made sense. Crowley put new window glass with holes. It was that easy. In PL version it sounds somewhat different.

Mr. and ‘Pan’ – mister in Polish is ‘Pan’, but somehow the book uses the Mr. shortening and sometimes Pan. Why not Pan all the time? Why to use Mister word in Polish version?

Spanish Inquisition – this scene is so butchered I just can’t… in Pl version it sounds like someone told him it was fun not that the hell congratulated Crowley for the inquisition

Lack of consequent translation: Asmodeusz I Wormwood – names: this is same name in English version. Also sister Mary’s surname once is translated and later is used as it was in the original (in my opinion it should be translated so the reader would understand it better)

Kraken!! – do you know that first translator didn’t knew that Kraken is a name of underwater past and thought it is some kind of light vulgarism? I couldn’t make that up myself…

Ineffable – this word is translated on many occasion in a different way, sometimes changing the meaning like Az said it is ineffable and in PL version is “Azz couldn’t find a way to explain this” really. Only later in the book the word is translated better. And as it is a running joke in the book it should be translated consistently in my opinion.

No food joke with deviled eggs and angel cake. And it was completely spoiled. The translator either didn’t know what deviled eggs are or thought it is overcooked food and made Aziraphale not like it. Even after one drink I thought out how to make food pun and not spoil the part…

Fell’s name – I like the small pun that Az took last letters of his name to make a fake family name, however in Polish version translator didn’t see the joke and put there some weird ass cringe pseudonym.

And of course homophobia…– and not one that Az look like a stereotypical homosexual man no… also the “southern pansy’ is translated each time differently and at least once so much more vulgar and offensive.

Killing the joke about healing the bike – I love this joke. It is silly and light but in PL version Crowley says it like it was some offense.

Snowballs in hell – Polish has equivalent idiom “hell freezes over” but translator somehow didn’t use it and instead wrote “there are no chances for it in hell”… the meaning is lost

Being mean – translator makes some characters mean without reason

What is a bully? The translator apparently didn’t know and messed up by saying it’s same as a loser

Recycling paper is same as recycling toilet paper for the translator – disgusting

Famine – the 6 letter word. In PL translate as “głód”. So a 4 letter word. Yet the character wrote his name in 6 letter in PL version…

Pepper reads erotic magazine for teens in PL version, not some stuff like Bravo… really? Pepper is 11.. she reads about boybands and shit…. Really…

Racism - the joke about men’s underwear (when Newt answered the phone) was changed to literally “painting Chinese people white”….

Shadwell - and his hate of southern people was changed to him hating English people… why? Also his “southern pansy” saying, is translated as “ English fag” but also “funny guy”… yeah

Pollution - powietrze morowe and skażenie – one translator gave Pollution a super weird name, the other one gave a proper one. That means book holds 2 names and people will be confused reading the second ‘chapter’ and later parts of the book.

Second translator was bit better. He didn’t add so much from himself and didn’t make as much mean comments and mistranslated. His errors are mostly literal translation of the words. That means whole sentences and even paragraphs sounds at least weird but in the long run, some doesn’t have much sense at all and sounds AI generated. But it was written in then 90. Well I don’t have the 90 copy but the translators are the same on both covers so I think it is a very sloppy translation, or one was a complete amateur.

Also the translator doesn’t understand the difference between chips and crisps. I don’t know why he thinks kids eats fries and not thin potato snacks all the time.

I really can’t write how the translation of the second part of the book is stiff and not flow enough. Look at this:

read the yellow part… it sounds so off..

Sometimes the translator is too lazy to find a word in Polish so he uses an English one and then puts description bellow…. Why do that when there are Polish words for it?

Also why are most numbers written with letters and not numbers? Maybe it is normal to do so but for me reading the name of a number is more confusing than just seeing the number ( like writing five hundred and not just 500)

Also they had to explain what sushi is :D now really in 2019 the this book was re-release most people know what sushi is. Besides, even that description is wrong…

There are also places when you could use Polish names for stuff or people. Like the painters to describe Tadfield. Most Polish people don’t know ones in the original book. But when you use famous Polish painters the parallel/joke would be better.

The translator doesn’t know or remember proper Polish idioms like kopnąć w kalendarz (kick the calendar - in English it would be “kick the bucket”) means to die, using weird ‘punch the calendar’ why?

Again sometimes when there are citations from the song one translator keeps the original, while the other one translates it. It’s confusing but in the end the reader should know what the words means.

Translator doesn’t know that sometimes you can’t turn back(?) on the road and for sure doesn’t know how to translate it.

Second translator sometimes also used the language calque and not proper words.

The first translator wrote too much. This one cuts sentences sometimes.

And why is there explanation what Beelzebub name means?

Ending – where is forever? – ending of the book has a warm and slightly philosophical ending. With word ‘forever’ as the last word. I don’t know why Polish ‘na zawsze’ wasn’t written there? it really takes away from the ending…

There are hundreds of small and big mistakes really… ( movie clip if I can)

To sum it up: someone had bright idea to give a modern book to 2 older men to translate, when they weren’t really good with translation, or vibes etc. The book has been butchered ant that’s super sad. It could make potential reader to not like it even if they read the original it would be fine.

I wish the publisher would hire someone re-translate it in or give it to another publisher.

I’m not someone with a degree in English language but when someone like me can ‘catch’ all the mistakes and errors, I wonder what professional would say. Good for me I can read in English enough to enjoy the original, for all the others: better watch the series.

#good omens #good omens book #Dobry omen książka #Translation #Polish translation #Neil Gaiman

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zoobus · 6 months ago

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What's your favourite entry on mangadex with a 6.xx score?

(Re: #Everything on mangadex with a 6.xx rating is either a powerful contender for best of the year or extremely niche fetish softcore)

Ugh, this is a hard one because I haven't been reading a lot lately and I lost a huge chunk of my saves after mangadex was killed off for some months. (Also because I don't actually finish anything I read, lots of my "favorites" are a first volume I loved so much I couldn't finish it. That's how my brain works. I haven't finished anything on this list.) Also best of the year *for the kind of story it's telling.

TW, a good chunk of these have sexual assault and/or skeevy sexual themes

Manga about girl with strong signs of BPD using sex to self-harm, I don't remember the name, sorry - Extremely pathetic girl, desperate to not get bullied ever again, thinks she can fool her peers into thinking she's one of them but nahhh, you see the looks the popular girls give each other - it's like cats watching a wet and whimpering mouse wearing cat ears bite the throat of other mice, looking over her shoulder for proof that this is worth it, that they think she's a cat too. Made me understand how self-harm sex works.

I Would Die for Your First Time - Okay, it's sitting at a 7.09 *now,* but when I read it like five years ago it at 6.18. Guy who looks like a stereotypical fat faceless hentai man marries so far out of his league, it causes him immense distress. Even though his super hot wife clearly loves him, he's unnerved by the fact that she's had so many partners before him, while he only had her. She swears that if she could go back in time, she would make him her first and oh wow is that literally the worst thing she could have said.

Because he does go back in time, and he does try to hold the assurances of his 30yo wife to her 15yo self who doesn't have a clue who he is, and he does find himself ruining the life (and the original timeline they shared) of the poor woman who made the mistake of loving him over and over and over again.

Tamarowa/Who Wants to Marry a Billionaire? - I both get and don't get the hate for this one, harem stuff seems to make people very mad. Anyway, Tamarowa is like if Danganronpa was about Who Wants to Marry A Billionaire, uncut HBO version. And if Danganronpa was good. Great example of horny and good story. Whenever some cornball suggests good writing and fetishistic, hand in pants writing are mutually exclusive, I think of Tamarowa. "I need you to psychoanalyze one of the contestants in my place. Go do ageplay with the milf and deduce the odds she's trying to murder me."

His Favorite Idol Moved Next Door - A fan has a crush on his idol. The idol has a merciless and cruel crush on him back. 6.02 because god forbid we cater to actual female sadists rather than masochists for once 🙄

The Villainess Wants To Punish The Sadistic Prince - I will probably get around to translating the final volume. One day. Please see first paragraph about loving things so much, I don't finish them.

By the way, it might be my pride speaking, but I wouldn't include the last two entries in the niche fetishcore category. That's more for like "my childhood friend is annoying! and also keeps getting splattered with smushed bug goo every chapter" or those collection of pics titled stuff like "The women in your life flirt with you while insulting your gf's small boobs"

#I never one favorite #you will never get a singular fave from me #recommendations

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tanoraqui · 1 year ago

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hey!! i love your blog so much your takes are *chefs kiss*

i saw an Amazing post a few months ago where someone laid out a really cool plan for a silmarillion tv show and i cant find it again. it haunts my every waking moment. i think i saw it on your blog so i figured id ask if you knew it.

Either way, have a great day!

(note: I got this ask several thousand years ago, and am answering it now because I asked my roommates if I should write something serious tonight, or something ridiculous, or read a book; and they said ridiculous.) (note 2: I wrote the above several days ago. I'm posting at 6.5k words) (note 3: I'm going to pretend this is a deliberately timed gift to @thelordofgifs for their latest fic updates, which were bullet points of heartfelt and sober compelling canon divergence. this...is bullet points of [heartfelt? compelling?] lunacy. I hope you might enjoy it.)

Are you thinking of this, the "Supernatural but make it Silmarillion lore, and also women" show of my dreams? (Me, approaching the Tolkien estate with an offer for the rights to the Silmarillion: I swear, I will ONLY show the First Age in limited flashbacks. Everything else will be the characters as they are at least 10,000 years later, maybe even with an active framing device to identify them as modern interpretations of the characters...")

Oh huh, I forgot I thought a bunch more about that "teeechnically-not-AU" and never added it to that post. Regardless of whether it's the show you were thinking of, dear Anon:

one of the protagonists is definitely the reincarnation of Fëanor. Her name is Seraphina, which translates to something like "fiery divine being", bc her mom had a good sense of these things. They don't know this at first

her slightly older twin sister is Martha, named after their grandmother but it does mean the feminine of "master", because I spent at least an hour trying to translate any name Turin ever had into something reasonably modern and this is the best I could do (they also don't know about this reincarnation at first, ofc)

their father was killed by some sort of monster when they were babies so their mother took up monster-hunting ranging, etc. etc.

(the underground community of modern monster-hunters are called Rangers, in reference to the roaming heroes of old)

Seraphina, the Wild One(TM), ran away to go to college, where she double-majored in astrophysics and mechanical engineering and double-minored in linguistics and metallurgical engineering, and wrote an art history thesis. Martha, the Dutiful One(TM), stayed with their mother and kept ranging. They reunite when Martha shows up on Phina's doorstep because "Mom went on a hunting trip and hasn't been home in a few days", etc. etc.

the Bobby-style substitute parent should really, to (kind of) round this out, be a dwarf or hobbit. The full "Team Free Will" should represent all peoples of Arda... But I'm not making up OCs right now (yet)

a unifying legend of the Ranger community is that their unofficial network has been supported and guided for millennia by their cousins, the peredhel, Elrohir and Elladan, who quite simply never Chose and have been wandering the earth, saving people and hunting things, ever since their sister died. They don't NEED to Choose until they die, technically!

This is, in fact, true - or, it was. Until about 25 years ago, when [flips a coin] Elrohir married our heroes' mother, settled down into peaceful domesticity, and a few years later died dramatically to buy [throws a dart at a wheel of names] Laura and their children time to escape the whatever.

Laura knew about his profession and that he was older than he looked, but not his whole deal. She found that out later while vengefully hunting monsters...and never told her daughters.

The plot of Season 1 involves unravelling this mystery, including at some point meeting their elusive uncle Elladan (who has maybe gone a little mad with the sudden death of his twin? That'd be a fun season antagonist/arc/theme...dealing with grief...very topical!)

By the end of s1, all of the above have probably had a nice closure-giving(-ish) confrontation/conversation with Elrohir's ghost - who's been waiting in Mandos for his wife and/or brother despite Mandos's INCREASINGLY strident blandishments to stop acting like a cat in a doorway and choose - and Laura and Elladan are both dead in suitably dramatic circumstances.

...or, Elladan is. Apparently John Winchester didn't die until s2e1! So, what happens is:

- (earlier in the s1 finale episode, Laura, noticed something once or twice which her daughters didn't - saw a curl of smoke, seemed to be examining a McGuffin extra closely...)

- Laura has been mildly injured, and someone needs to guard a McGuffin or maybe a random innocent civilian caught up in this, so she stays behind while Phina and Martha go off to deal with whatever the actual big bad of the season is. Maybe a cult trying to sacrifice half-elves for some reason? Directed, though not personally managed, by whatever killed Elrohir in the first place, which is...I gotta figure an OC balrog? Like, not one of the big ones from canon. We'll just call her (Laura's) Bane henceforth.

- not long later, while Phina and Martha are fistbumping in the remains of the cult's hideout Seraphina maybe have used chemical explosives), or maybe discretely looting Elladan's body for useful weapons laying their uncle to rest, the scene cuts back to Laura

- she's pacing, patrolling. Ready for a fight. She senses something and goes even tenser, drawing her ancient sword. It glows softly blue - but this is no orc. Heavy footsteps, flickering shadows and firelight, maybe the sound of wings. We do not see the enemy, just a middle-aged woman in improvised combat gear with a pistol in one hand and a Gondolin-made sword in the other, and a look of iron determination and defiance. She pulls off the bandage on her arm, revealing that she'd faked her injury so the girls would leave her behind.

- "I knew it was you," she greets her old enemy, unflinching, as a faint reprise rings unnoticed in the Great Music. She moves to attack, met by a whip-crack and a flash of fire, and cut to black.

Season 2 starts where s1 ended, for Martha and Seraphina. They're almost back at their car (the beloved 1967 Chevy Shadowfax). Note: few times in s1, Phina has had strange visions or nightmares, never anything prophetic but once a good clue to defeating the MotW...

She reels with the force and horror of this one. Darkness, utter and choking, pierced eventually by a single desperate torch. A dark and empty hall where there should be life and light. Flickering firelight reveals blood on the floor...

She gasps, "Mom," and demands that Martha drive, drive, fucking drive faster already -

They're too late, of course. Laura is long-since dead.

...so, back to Monster of the Week, with additional focus on tracking down the Bane!

Seraphina's strange dreams and visions get more frequent, more memorable. Sometimes they're peaceful, full of beautiful Light. More often they're dark, or at least, dim - climbing strange, starlit mountains (finding a cousin of aconite which turns out to also be useful for defeating werewolves). Choking grief as her hand brushes the air just above a vibrant tapestry, too afraid to ruin it with touch. Fire in her throat as she shouts world-shaking words in a language she doesn't remember (she repeats them a moment later, fending off a corrupted wind-spirit, and it flinches even before Phina feels a burst of vicious, raging, burning strength.)

Seraphina is curious as hell and keeps pushing herself to learn more, see more. Do more. It's not just visions, eventually - she starts to read minds, here and there. She's always been a fidgeter, happiest with some petty creative task of wire and beads or yarn in her hands, but now she can swear that sometimes her craft supplies sing at times, directly surpassing her ears, and she can make things with quality, with power. A new-knitted scarf is sturdy as a gorget. Glass beads glow. The more Phina does, the more she's frustrated rather than satisfied - she knows she's missing something, and she HATES being ignorant. Being wrong.

Martha, always the responsible one, especially feeling the need to be so now that their mom has died, wishes she would stop. Wishes she wouldn't put herself, put both of them, in danger like this. Martha is literally game to fight an orc with her fists one on one, any day of the week; she's no stranger to a quick temper and impulsive action. But she grew up! Why can't her sister!

(Martha: [venting the above to a stranger in a bar or something. Meanwhile, Seraphina has found an medieval Songbook and is trying to, like, apply principals of Elvencraft to chemical engineering. more arguing ensues.])

Toward the end of the season, there's, idk, several murders at the site of a geothermal drilling experiment in the North Sea, and oh shit, Bane is trying to get something that came out of that drill shaft! Violent interrogation of some evil minions reveals that it's no less precious thing than a Silmaril! Our heroes read about those recently in some ancient tome! (Phina got a headache so bad, and a sense of being aflame, that she passed out.)

In the third-to-last episode of the season, they hunt the Silmaril to the unlucky random research facility to which it's been taken. Mundane authorities and/or scientists are already coveting it as a potential energy source, adding extra mooks...who mostly just die when Laura's Bane arrives. But our girls get to it just slightly faster. The jewel is in a jead-lined box. Phina has been increasingly consumed by single-minded focus on getting this thing; even as the Ban storms in all fire and darkness, she's furiously picking the lock. She flings back the lid; we see a shining gold-white jewel - and the Light consumes the screen.

The second-to-last episode starts with pure Light - then it fades to simple Mingling, as the Noldor hold a funeral for Miriel. They had rites for the fallen in their starlit home of old, when they knew no return. They are having a modified version now, knowing that in her weariness she will, at least, take a very long time; in the hope that it will help those who loved her move through their grief.

- young Fëanor (age 5ish), tears running down his cheeks, whispers to his father that he is sorry, so sorry he killed her. Finwë denies it fiercely, lovingly, and holds him tight. Indis approaches, seeking to offer comfort; Finwë sees her over Fëanor's head and, gratefully, shakes his head. She retreats.

- but in the next memory, it is Fëanor (age 10ish) who watches Finwë and Indis, as they move joyously in unison around their wedding dance floor. Someone says something to him, he responds bitterly.

- (I'm not sure exactly what narrative of Fëanor's life I want to construct here, but assume subsequent memories/short scenes include: dislike of half-siblings (ft. fear of loss/abandonment masked as superiority complex), finding genuine joy and contentment in craft, exploration, and Nerdanel & their children; Melkor & rising tensions with Fingolfin, the Silmarils, the sword Incident, banishment (ft. savage dislike of Valar), Finwë's death (the same memory that struck when Laura died!), the Oath, Alqualondë, the theft and burning of the ships...and Amrod...and shortly thereafter, Fëanor himself, in a rush that only wasn't suicide because he really thought he could bust in and kill a Vala right up until he realized he absolutely could not do that.)

- (very fast final montage of key events post death, only snapshots, maybe styled as tapestry seen from Vairë's Halls? Fingolfin, crowned, raising Maedhros from a bow and embracing him; the glorious hosts and castles of the Noldor, Dagor Bragollach, Fingolfin's death, Doriath & Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin's deaths, Sirion & Amras's death (both with the Silmaril evading them in the background), Morgoth's defeat by Host of the West with Eärendil shining far overhead, the final attack/theft, Maedhros's death, Maglor flinging the third into the sea and collapsing)

- camera close on Seraphina's face as she opens her eyes. They are shining with Light. She says, "Fuck."

FINAL EPISODE OF S2 STARTS WITH:

- a few second earlier: Martha sees from across the room as Phina opens the box and a joyous Light shines forth, and her sister collapses. The Silmaril falls and rolls.

- Martha doesn't have time to see where it rolls, because she has to fight the monster that killed both her parents. We've seen Laura's Bane in the shape of a woman with cavern-black hair and fiery eyes a few times before, and when it killed Laura and Elrohir, we glimpsed much more. But 2 episodes ago was the first time we saw it in all its terrible, burning darkness. The building is falling apart around it. There were a couple security guards and a scientist here; they're dead within moments.

- like her mother, Martha started out with a gun and a sword. She quickly gives up on the gun - it IS a special magic gun, but she's just better with a sword. She's snarking at the monster as she fights, because this is a gritty urban fantasy show so she's going to die, but by Eru she's going to die with sarcasm on her lips.

- the Bane's whip finally catches her around the wrist. It's not clear if it's the pain of the break or the burn that makes her drop her sword. The Balrog steps over it and grabs her by the throat. Darkness enwraps her, the searing, choking claws and the all-encompassing wings and the swallowing of her vision -

- Light pierces it like a blade. The Balrog falls back, dropping Martha to the floor.

- there stands her sister, Silmaril raised, almost glowing herself with its Light. Her eyes blaze with the particularly fiery Light that was always Fëanor's.

- Power in her voice, in English she says, "I am Seraphina Elrohiel [cool epithet she's picked up as a hunter]"; in the most traditional lisping Quenya she adds, "and I am Fëanáro Finwë-Curufinwë." English again: "I wrought this jewel five ages of the world ago…and to be honest, I don't really know what I can do with it now."

- - (the soundtrack crescendos, the Music crescendos; unseen, all around Arda and beyond, beings tuned into the Great Song of Ëa know that Fëanor once again holds a Silmaril, and go oh, shit, fuck!!)

- she smiles, fey and burning. "Do you think it's a good idea to stay and find out?"

- Laura's Bane flees with a snarl.

- Martha gets to her knees, and no further. She's panting, still catching her breath, bleeding and bruised and burned, and staring up at her incandescent sister(?).

- Seraphina (who is, has always been, Fëanáro Curufinwë) stays standing and glaring for a moment more, making sure the enemy has truly gone. Then -

- - [note: it came up, in their hasty recent recent research into the Silmarils while chasing them, that they are blessed such that evil hands can't touch them. they'd hoped this would be protection against the Bane, if they got there too late to stop it]

- - [note: in the very very brief memory-views of Maedhros and Maglor's last moments, it was clear that their grips on the Silmarils were agony]

- Phina falls to her knees, Silmaril dropping from her hand without protest. Once again it rolls offscreen, glow faded but still bright. All force of presence gone, she cradles her burned hand and sobs in agony and irreparable loss, not to mention the sheer overwhelming experience of everything.

- older sister instincts (again: despite the fact that they're twins) gets Martha moving when nothing else did. Still not actually sure what just happened, she crawls forward and hugs her sister.

...then they get out of there. Martha picks the Silmaril up carefully with a piece of cloth and puts it back in the lead-lined box, and Phina carries the box. For the rest of the episode, they hunt down Laura's Bane before it can escape them utterly - unless it tries to come back and get the Silmaril while they're still off-balance, which is entirely possible! Either way, they kill it so dead!

Season ends with the two of them sitting in a dingy motel room, or maybe back in the Shadowfax [car], staring at the Silmaril box. Martha says, "So...what do we do with this?" Phina says, "We find out what the hell happened to the other two!"

IN SEASON THREE...

...I stop having particularly coherent ideas for what happens, is what happens in season three

honestly, I was originally conceiving of this as 5 seasons a la Supernatural didn't it have a great show finale in 2010? so great. thank goodness they didn't make 10 more seasons for some canonically godforsaken reason. But Fëanor retrieving even just one Silmaril would so kick off an s4 level of divine intervention and incipient apocalypse...

I dunno, or maybe they CAN have a full season of Monster of the Week plus arcing plot which is half standard hunting, half various supernatural entities tracking them down either to steal the Silmaril or to kill Fëanor (again) for her many crimes?

They retrieve 1 Silmaril that season, while evading, idk, I guess Sauron is our Lilith equivalent... And it WOULD be fun to have s4 start with Martha kicking open Mandos's doors (she's holding 2 Silmarils; she can kick open whatever doors she wants) and demanding her obnoxious sister back...

(We COULD do a thing where the Valar deliberately put Fëanor back asap, but lbr they...would probably rather not, even if they need her alive to do certain things. On the other hand, if they did, what a fun conflict for her! On the third hand, SOMEONE has to Lúthien the other's Beren at least once - not that Martha is singing. She's going more for the 'threatens Ainur with swords' side of her heritage.)

(That WOULD create a fun 'Martha has been doing increasingly badass and angsty shit offscreen (while Seraphina was dead)' scenario that could lead smoothly into some flashbacks about what Martha was doing before the show started - namely, increasingly badass (and angsty) shit while Seraphina was in college...)

Because in terms of focus, the first 2 seasons are a little more about Seraphina. Having not Ranged for a while, she's more the audience's pov character to start, and then the big plotty drama is focussed on her in s2...and in s3, as they hunt the next Silmaril and she adjusts to being... That is, Fëanor adjusts to being...

She was Fëanor for a MUCH longer time than she's been Seraphina, but she's been Seraphina more recently and kinda more...vividly? She hasn't fully processed being Fëanor. Her hröa is human (and female-shaped and human-female-gendered, and elves don't define gender the same way and don't have gendered pronouns at all, so she's sticking with 'she/her' and it's not a big deal), and her fëa has been acting human, so her memory capacity is still mostly human, as are her reflexes, her need for sleep, etc... She's getting better, but it takes time.

But boy has this enhanced ALL of Seraphina's natural attention-seeking, forward-leaping, fight-starting, prideful, self-centered Protagonist(TM) behavior!

Which is driving Martha CRAZY, all the moreso because there's reason for it now. Aside from the fact that even with no memory of her past life, Seraphina was always brilliant, while Martha was just...normal at best. Clumsy and un-witty except with a weapon in her hand. Prone to sulking and shyness. Downright unlucky, while the universe seems to shower blessings on her sister.

Even when Fëanor is trying not to start a fight, she's so condescending. to her sister who is a mere mortal Man. Having been one for 25-odd years - still being one, in fact - Fëanor has lost much of her suspicion of Man as an usurping species (it was never really about Men anyway). But she's SO condescending.

(Martha IS her sister, still. Martha can hold the Silmaril without the Oath pushing Seraphina to burning wrath, because she is Fëanor's kin.)

(Though "Fëanor's kin" was only ever a stand-in for, roughly, "people Fëanor could trust to temporarily hold a Silmaril because he knew they'd give it back to him instantly if he asked." So, as the rift deepens between then, as she grows paranoid again...)

...returning to the point above: as Seraphëanor steps up as Person Who Can Explain Advanced Supernatural Shit, audience pov connects a little more with Martha. Also because Fëanor's radius of destruction is really fun to watch from the outside.

Yeah...Seraphina gets pretty high up her own ass over the course of s3, then dies, maybe heroically or maybe as foolishly as last time, then post-season hiatus smash cut to Martha kicking in Mandos's front door and dragging her back to life... I do love that.

SEASON FOUR...

After the shock wears of, the classic Fëanorian paranoia isn't helped by the fact that Martha IS keeping secrets. What she's been doing, who she's been doing it with...(some Maia, maybe even an Úmaia?) Though Arda's mythology doesn't have the same Heaven/Hell dichotomy as Earthly Christianity, so alaos we can't have the sexy sexy s4 thing of an angel on one sister's shoulder and a devil on the other's...

But basically I think s3 has to have been somewhat of a tragedy, as Túrin (unknowing) and Fëanor (just bad at this) played out their old tragedies in tandem. Rashness was often the undoing of both. Leaping to conclusions, action or both, though usually in opposite directions. With maybe a dash of parallels with ancient (ie, Second Age) Elf vs Man conflict - Martha is increasingly down on herself, but also, jealous of Seraphina's Protagonist Energy and increasingly ready to do some violence about it.

And none of that resolves in s3! Seraphina just gets killed!

So in s4, they have to figure it out. Seraphina needs to learn some sort of (gasp) humility, and how to let grievances (and loved ones) go. Martha needs to learn how to cope with regret and grief with means other than changing her name and moving to a different city.

(She's already starting, though! This time, she asked "what would Seraphina do', then broke into Mandos and demanded solutions!)

(...and Mandos, perhaps, was very ready to refuse until he got a good look at her fëa, silently went 'huh' in recognition, and waved them out.)

Then Martha starts having strange dreams and visions - maybe after they fight an ancient dragon? or maybe she already was, in the s3-s4 gap (after fighting an ancient dragon with her new Maia friend?)

Seraphina is initially PSYCHED about this- twinnies for real!! But they get some entity to look at Martha's fëa and they confirm that she's 100% a Man.

Monster of the Week episodes are still the main focus btw. Vampires and werewolves, cursed magical objects, rogue petty nature maiar, peacekeeping between factions of non-humans still dwelling secretly here and there... Though perhaps the masquerade is starting to fracture?

And, of course, some (other?) Maia has shown up and informed them that Sauron is embodied again and trying to complete a ritual to break a hole in the envelope of the world to let Melkor back in, which our heroes must stop!

Also, definitely need to get the 3rd Silmaril back this season. They got the one in the earth and the one in the sea...

- so, a fan favorite recurring character [a/n: IT'S MY IMAGINARY TV, I CAN IMAGINE THE FANDOM'S REACTIONS, TOO, AND ALSO TBH I'M CERTAIN I COULD DELIBERATELY CRAFT A FAN FAVORITE CHARACTER] is the twins' Uncle Earl, who isn't technically their uncle but rather an old family friend of their mother's. He is, in short, kind of an old kook. Some flavor of Southern - I'll flip a coin and say Louisianan? Lives on a houseboat, refuses to go ashore unless absolutely necessary because "the feds'll get me." Visiting nieces means there's someone else to go get groceries and gasoline (necessary, but he doesn't trust most delivery services or modern technology, either), so they've possibly never seen him set foot on land except maybe once on an isolated beach in rural Oregon. Fought in Korea. Has probably looked grizzled since age 12. Eats mostly fish, talks to birds, talks back to the radio.

- to be clear, this guy is not filling the Bobby 'faux-parent' role. ...okay maybe he is a little, emotionally. But he's not involved in "the family business." In terms of SPN characters, he's roughly Garth - appears once a season or so, is a delight for 1 episode, then we part ways. He calls Martha in s1 because there's been some "weird deaths" in the port he's in right now, and he knows they deal with "this sort of thing" but he can't get ahold of Laura. There's a mention of him in s2, that they called to tell him Laura had died. In s3, they need to lay low for a while so they join him on his boat for a few weeks, go stir-crazy and end up fighting a sea monster.

- Idk if he calls them again in s4 or they're trying to lie low again or they just run into him by chance...but they're dealing with MotW murders in some swampy Florida shore-town and on his ship (The Flower) when something much bigger than a swamp monster catches up with them. Say, Sauron sent an unstoppable Carcharoth-sized wolf monster, or maybe a super-vampire (some aerial combat would be fun), or just some Úmaia miniboss that a season or two would've been a season-climax boss fight...

- they're moored up when it arrives. Phina curses, Martha shouts for Earl to drive, drive the boat out as far and fast as he can! Earl was half-asleep at the table; he starts awake demanding if it's the feds?! Phina leaps to the wheel herself and slams the gas, while Martha grabs the old shotgun off the wall and fires at the giant shadowy wolf-monster.

They leave it howling on the pier. They'll have to go back and face it eventually, but they're not ready right now. Maybe they can even re-land far upshore, and it'll have lost their scent again...

- the giant shadow-wolf finishes howling starts chasing them running on the water

- Martha curses, and shouts Phina to drive faster. Earl (looking over Martha's shoulder, also cursed, almost impressed, at the sight of the wolf) tells her to give him the wheel. Phina shoves him away and shouts back as she yanks the wheel that they need to turn back, they can't win this fight on the water -

- the wolf is snapping at the Flower's keel. Phina curses in Valarian and yells at Earl to take the wheel and steer them back to land, while she runs back to help Martha fight the wolf.

- Earl flips a red lever in the [boat mechanics] cabinet under the wheel which we've probably seen before (Seraphina fixed something in s1), labeled "High Octane" and shouts, "Hold on, girls!" He slams the throttle again and the whole houseboat hydroplanes. The wolf falls overboard; Phina goes with it but Martha grabs her.

- the wolf gets to its feet on the water, and starts chasing them again

- "Confession time, girls!" Uncle Earl calls, steering the boat beyond full throttle while Martha and Phina get to their feet. "I did befriend your ma's dad while he was fighting in Korea. He whispered to the stars at night, when he felt lost." Adjusts a standing spyglass, tugs a string a couple times to turn on the lanterns on the prow and above the steering console, dons his navy blue-and-gold captain's hat. "I thought I couldn't have been happier to guide him home - then Elrohir met his Laura, and they fell in love. And had the two of you!"

- "Do you have a point?" Phina shrieks. She's scrambling to get her jacket out of her bag under one of the seats, because her Silmarils are in its pockets and the shadow-wolf is gaining. Martha, shooting at the wolf again, glances back, maybe having noticed that the old anecdote is phrased differently than before. Old Uncle Earl is standing unusually straight, his grizzled-gray hair gold-ish in the warm lantern light.

- "Yes!" he calls, jerking the boat away from the wolf again. Some of his Louisiana accent has fallen away, too. "Don't lose your wits - and keep holding on to something!"

- he tugs the light-cord again and the yellowy lantern-case above the wheel opens, and the light that shines forth is far brighter and paler. Its source falls into his hand as the lantern shakes with the Flower's speed, and he sets it on the brim of his hat - the illusion of which fades, leaving only the golden band on his brow with the Silmaril set upon, and Eärendil standing as tall, young, and golden-haired as when he first sailed the sacred seas. He gives the wheel another stern yank and the ship's prow rises even higher - and keeps rising, with the rest of the Flower in tow - the Foamflower, Vingilotë, every plank now aglow.

- "Also," he admits, looking over his shoulder to make sure neither of the twins has fallen off (again), "I'm your great-grandfather. I really am sorry to have - hey!"

- that's for Seraphina, who is Fëanor, Oath blazing in her heart, regaining her balance, sprinting up the deck and lunging with wrath in her eyes for the Silmaril.

- Eärendil dodges smoothly, while still keeping one hand on the wheel. "I said," he says reprovingly - while Martha bodily tackles her sister to the floor - "keep your wits Fëanáro. I'm here to help, as I ever have been for the people of Arda."

- the girls wrestle on the deck for a few more seconds before Seraphina calms down. It helps that they realize the wolf had grown giant wings of shadow and is chasing them aloft as well.

- btw: late in s4, the dwarvish researcher who's Bobby's fill-in and/or Martha's probably-trustworthy Maia friend should really be present as well for all of the above, but this ain't really about them. So I think they're just kinda. awkwardly Present for this family not-reunion. helping fight the wolf & all that.

- (Eärendil doesn't actually give back the Silmaril. But he lets Seraphina hold it for a few minutes, during which she is more at peace than she has been in millennia, and promises to let her have it again if/when she really needs it, if it isn't more urgently needed elsewhere. This is, more or less, satisfying to the Oath: as discussed "Fëanor's kin" was only ever shorthand for "people whom Fëanor could trust to hold a Silmaril without ever withholding it from him.")

Eeexcept it turns out that even Eärendil doesn't know that the Valar DO want Morgoth back, because they're kinda totally down to have Dagor Dagorath and reboot the world. Look it'll be great - Túrin - that's you, Martha - will help Eonwë and Tulkas slay him, then Fëanor will break the Silmarils, releasing the Light so that Eru can use it to Remake the world, Unmarred this time - Hey, where are you Children going? Stop stabbing people! Stab only the people we tell you to stab!

(Ulmo, ever wise, offscreen: When has that EVER worked? Especially with Fëanáro and his kin?)

Yeah, there's a scene very much like the end of SPN s4, wherein Martha gets grabbed by the celestial "good guys" and they admit that this is all kinda set-up but don't worry - here's your destined fuckoff-huge black sword, just wait a few minutes for your "sister" to once again achieve an evil end that's the exact opposite of what she intended; and then Martha has to convince the Maia she's been befriending all season to help her escape and go rescue Seraphina before she jumpstarts the apocalypse...

(Nb: Martha was already trying to stop Sauron from freeing Morgoth when the season started - she broke Seraphina out of Mandos party bc she loved and missed her sister, partly because she needed a Silmaril expert. But she's grown skeptical of the task somehow, while Seraphina - perhaps because Seraphina - has gotten vengefully obsessed with it. As Fëanor is wont to do. Hell, she has even more reason than she used to - she knows what Sauron did to her grandson.)

So, y'know

They do, of course, accidentally free Morgoth.

On the plus side, in the process, they get to jointly murder the SHIT out of Sauron, who was the REAL mastermind behind much of Laura's Bane's actions (and, honestly? Might've been the real one who killed Laura, and only set it up to look like a Balrog. Flames and shadows both can have many masters!)

SEASON FIVE, THE FINAL SEASON DEFINITELY FOLLOWED BY NO FURTHER SEASONS despite the temptation of a terrible sexy humanoid Ungoliant

I only have 3 ideas for season 5:

1. They go to Valinor at some point, of course. Perhaps to rally aid? The first elf they find, they introduce themselves grandly, Fëanor and Túrin Turambar here seeking allies to fight Morgoth! and the elf says blankly, "I have never heard of either of you." *squints* "You're Men, you say? Lord Ulmo keeps a Man on Tol Eressëa, I think. You could go to him?" But after that, as a running joke all episode, every other elf they meet recognizes Fëanor on sight (she has a very distinctive fëa) and immediately punches her in the face...and every other elf recognizes Tùrin on sight and all but tackle-hugs Martha while shouting joyfully that they never expected to see him again. Some (Beleg) actually do tackle-hug her (and nearly gets stabbed again) (#worthit).

2. To everyone's surprise, including the other Valar, Morgoth started his war upon creation subtly when he returned...but doesn't remain subtle for long, nor do those opposing him. By the end of the season, the masquerade that non-human sentient peoples and various other supernatural beings still live in Arda is all but shattered.

3. Then it's THOROUGHLY shattered in the finale. I don't know if the general human populace participates in the final battle - though I am SO weak for a moment when, like, the regular-ass armed forces, who are not necessarily allies to the heroes, show up to help fight a massive superhuman threat. When the SHIELD helicarrier shows up to evacuate civilians in Age of Ultron, when UNIT does pretty much anything in Doctor Who...I love it when the best protections & warriors the mundane human race could pull together also show the fuck up and help save the day because damnit, this is their planet too. ...Which is, in fact, very on-theme for Tolkien. So yes, actually, this definitely happens. Probably there's some conflict with US military forces mid-season, our heroes have to talk (fight & escape) their way out of being arrested for blowing up a national landmark while fighting a balrog, and the general in charge whom they'd half-convinced returns in the finale with a battalion to slam some missiles into Morgoth...

oh, and 4: Ar-Pharazón et al totally do come back from the dead. Probably on Morgoth's side lbr. They get a twisted undead immortality wherein they cannot die, just go on fighting for the dark lord to whom they once turned in jealous worship...

More importantly...

Okay, I really don't know exactly how the Dagor Dagorath goes. We're following the version that Eärendil will chase Morgoth from the skies; Tulkas, Eonwë and Túrin will fight him upon the field and Túrin will avenge his House and all the Race of Men by slaying him; and Fëanor will break the Silmarils and Yavanna will use their Light to remake the Trees, and the lands will be leveled or in some cases raised from the depths, and everyone will live happily ever after except possibly Men who aren't mentioned beyond Túrin.

This is what the Valar expect to happen (though they don't actually know-know Eru's plans.)

What happens instead is...

Most of the Morgoth-defeating does go exactly like that. Except probably they don't kill him for good - they CAN'T, because the Marring of the world is part of what Morgoth is, and the only way to undo him completely is to remake the world completely.

Which maybe could be done, by Eru if no one else, if He were beseeched? Which might be done with the strength of the Silmarils, their Light released?

And Seraphina does break the Silmarils. That's important for her - giving up her Protagonist role, just as slaying Morgoth - embracing her Protagonist role - is important for Martha.

...but I don't think they give the Light back to Yavanna. No offense to the Trees, but they never illuminated most of Arda anyway, and the world is round now anyway - and making it flat again would fuck it up - and we have, like, electrical lights, now.

Hell, maybe Seraphina is ready to give up the Light... Her instinct is to hold it back, to follow her own novel plans with it, but, oh, to regain what was lost! And she has come around on...some of the Valar. Selectively. Yavanna's one of the okay ones.

- but Martha, half-dead from the battle, drops to her knees beside her and catches her hands before she can loose the Light upward unto the grasp of the Tree-Queen.

- "Together?" Martha says (Túrin Turambar, ever the greatest Men had to offer - bull-headed, loyal, brave, unafraid of death, loving and losing and loving again).

- Seraphina's trembling lips curve into a fierce grin (Fëanäro Curufinwë, ever the greatest Elves had to offer - brilliant in mind and spirit, devoted, ever seeking to preserve and glorify the beauty of the world, and eventually learning some wisdom about letting go).

- "Together," she agrees.

- together, they hold the Light that once shone in the Trees, the Lamps, and the Flame Eternal of Creation itself; and as they release it, reach for the Great Music of Ëa that is deep in both their blood - for they are the daughters of Elrohir, son of Elrond, son of Elwing daughter of Dior son of Lúthien Tinúviel, daughter of Melian the Maia; and indeed, even before that, they are both trueborn Children of Eru, are they not? - and eschew utterly the Choice of the Peredhel by leaving the world round but Un-Sundering the Sea, that the kindred might still live apart, if they wished it - the Elder in their land undying, the Younger in their realms of quick and sometimes joyful, often savage change - but that they might visit one another, at least, as they pleased.

(I mean, wasn't the false division of siblings the whole problem from the start?)

Random Additional Features of this Show/AU/Thing

All elf and ainu side characters, canonical and not, will be cast gender-blindly, and characters referred to with the understanding that elvish personal pronouns don't necessarily correlate with physical phenotype, but Ainur do generally try to match local standards of gender assignment. Dwarves will all use he/him (and have beards!) even when fairly clearly female.

I have no idea what Martha is doing for gender once she remembers being Túrin. With all the time Túrin spent with Elves, she probably rolls pretty smoothly with being she/her now, though it's weird. Her memories definitely integrate more easily than Fëanor/Seraphina's, though, as much because she's the same kind of being both times as because there's less of them.

Both protagonists are definitely bisexual. Martha has a range of love interests; it's a running joke (at first) that Seraphina has a total Thing for redheads. Any kind of redhead. But especially creative ones - any kind of art or invention.

The role of Gabriel WILL be played by Maglor, albeit with a different death (don't worry, he'll be back for the finale) and much more...gloominess. And angst. Okay, and maybe his first appearance, in s1 or 2, IS cursing them - not knowing who they are - into a musical episode. (A WOMAN HAS NEEDS; THE WOMAN IS ME.)

When Martha meets Fingolfin and/or any of Fëanor's other siblings, probably in s5 but maybe s4, they immediately Vibe completely. It's the shared experience of growing up with Fëanor for a sibling. Needless to say, Seraphina Hates This.

Their chief researcher friend is a dwarf, who is also on the young-ish side I think, and a woman (he/him).

There's gotta be a notable hobbit on the Team before the end, too...but overall, hobbits remain symbolically representative of the Civilians in this war story.

Durin is alive again somewhere. Durin usually reincarnates in time to guide his people through particularly difficult times - or, to try. Their dwarf friend - what the hell, I'll just call him Bobby - tries SO hard to be Cool about meeting him, and fails SO hard.

I generally prefer to judge and characterize the Valar and associated Maiar as fallible to the point of clumsiness or negligence but basically wise and thoroughly benevolent...but I AM willing to throw some of them under the characterization bus for ease of making conflict in this hypothetical CW show.

...I probably have many more random thoughts but it's 3am and I want to post this whole insane thing. Feel free to ask me questions if you have them! And/or petition both the Tolkien estate and a major TV network for the rights, money, and support to help me make the terrible but wonderful show we deserve!

#the silmarillion #supernatural #my fic #feanor #turin turambar

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bonefall · 2 years ago

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So way back in the day on the original Warriors website, there was an area where you could submit questions about the series that the Erin's would answer and then post the question and answers on a FAQ page. Someone asked about prefixes that the Clans don't use because they're considered sacred, and the answer had been iterations of Moon-, Star-, or the Clan names themselves, so Sky-, Shadow-, etc.

Obviously this isn't true for canon anymore, if it ever actually was (citing here: lack of continuity between the Erins) but I'm curious to know if your AU has any prefixes that the Clan's absolutely refuse to use for one reason or another? Whether they be sacred or maybe they're considered "cursed", like perhaps a particularly evil cat has tarnished the prefix forever. (Such as the lack of Maple- prefixes in canon books post-Mapleshade! Maybe not intentional, but a cool world-building detail nonetheless!)

Stemming from that, do you think any prefixes would/could be turned into insults/curses later on down the line? Basically, what's the culture like for names? My favorite part of Warriors has always been the names, and the Erin's had such a nice thing going until it was tossed out the window. The system you use with Clanmew and all is super neat and I'd love to know more about Clan naming traditions! Also how each leader names cats - idk if it was you or someone else that I follow, but I saw a post talking about how each leader has a distinct way to name their warriors.

(Also small fun fact while on the subject of names, a friend of mine submitted a question asking about who Bluestar's parents were, and the answer was Duskflower and Stormtail. This was a few years before Bluestar's Prophecy was published, so she was very upset over them changing "Duskflower" to "Moonflower" when it did finally come out!)

The Duskflower thing is actually a misconception: What happened was that in a field guide, the Erins wrote that the name was "Moonflower," and then felt that "moon" should be sacred. That's when they started using "Duskflower," until Bluestar's Prophecy came out and they agreed with the editors that the older information should take precedence

(Rare anti-retcon win)

But anyway I have no banned or sacred names! I don't like that concept! Possibly because I am from an old fandom era of 'traditional namers' that just used it as an excuse to bully people and have bad taste. Hawkfrost's name ROCKS MY SOCKS and they all died mad while I'm still here.

My rules with namings is that EVERYTHING must make sense in-universe. So I don't like lyrical naming very much... names like "Friendlyface" or "Empyreanmist" are funny, but I don't see how a kitten would end up with those names unless every cat in their Clan stopped taking their lives seriously

(Or are in WarriorClan. BB!WarriorClan renamings are going to look WILD)

That also means ecologically invalid names get cut or end up being translation quirks. Names like Cypress, Olive, Myrtle, etc.

I don't ban "insult" names either, but I do rule that they are typically ShadowClan. They have a very dark sense of humor.

And yes I am the one with leader naming styles! So far these are the styles:

Bramblestar: terrible. Doesn't consider names beforehand, often comes up with titles that are awkward or unimpressive

Harestar: Reverant and thoughtful, tries to name based on friendships, interests, and quirks.

Mistystar: Names litters according to 'themes,' often sharing suffixes or picking similar ones.

Brokenstar: Only ever gives "cool" names with deadly and strong connotations.

Firestar: Names awkwardly, but genuinely. Surprises his Clan constantly with banger names (Lionblaze) or shockingly uncomfortable ones (Brambleclaw).

Onestar: Names practically, trying to limit suffix repeats and tonguetwisters.

So on.

#Better bones au #Bone babble

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jasima · 1 year ago

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FILM THE FUCKING HANDS IN SIGN LANGUAGE FILMS YOU FUCKING RUBES!!!🧏🏼‍♀️😤

Just got back from NAME ME LAWLAND - film/documentary about a Deaf Kurdish boy in the UK learning BSL.

Great film. GO SEE IT. I recommend it.

I loved the theme. I loved the message, and all of what it said. The people in it and the writers - great job.

For purposes of "should I go see it?" ignore the rest of this post the answer is YES (there will also be no spoilers). This is a vent. I am angyposting.

But whoever was in charge of which shots were chosen to be put where and how;

Do better.

Because I can think of only one, maybe two, scenes in the whole thing with a single full sentence of BSL.

Every single fucking time a person began to sign they CUT AWAY. WHY?????

The whole thing was subtitled. With speech this means that the speech can still be heard over whatever other emotional visuals you choose. But with sign they cut away and FORCED the audience to watch the subtitles. I was looking foward to watching a film in BSL but I couldn't from how it was put together.

Sometimes the cut aways happened mid conversation towards the 'listener' - which meant that sentences were choppy and broken up - at one point it was at a KEY MOMENT in describing how something worked.

Other times a new person was signing - only guessable by context and perhaps the occasional mumble - but WHO IS THAT? WHY AREN'T YOU SHOWING ME?

Not only that but at times there was the sounds of smacking lips and popping that we do when we sign as DHH people (I am HoH) BUT NO SIGNS. That felt so abled gaze because its precisely hearing (and HH) that is included for - not Deaf.

WHO IS THIS FILM FOR?

It seems like it goes in this order;

Clueless Hearing people

BSL learner hearing people

Literate Deaf people

Language deprived Deaf people

Because it would serve the purpose of educating a clueless hearing person stunningly. And a BSL learning hearing person would also get a lot out of it.

For literate Deaf people its accessible and me and friends/aquainances (other Deafies who watched) it loved it. There were silent cheers 🙌 from multiple parts of the cinema at various moments because its still a great film with all the right messages.

But its about a boy who has been language deprived. And I don't know about Lawland - maybe his English is stunning, but many language deprived people (or folks failed by the education system) whos' main language is BSL or another sign language might struggle to read a whole films' worth of subtitles.

In fact I'm pretty sure one or two of my Deafie friends there might've struggled a little.

You make a film ABOUT a person and then make it inaccessible TO people like that. You have all these messages of how important BSL is and how its our language as the Deaf community and yet YOUR CAMERAS ARE SO SHY ABOUT ACTUALLY FILMING AND SHOWING THE LANGUAGE.

And it was such an easy fix - JUST SHOW US THEIR HANDS👐.*

*Preferably the whole body because BSL uses the whole body but the hands alone will do.

If you want to keep the artsy visuals thats fine but perhaps split the screen in half to show us the visual and the hands or SOMETHING.

There was a line in the film saying roughly "other people take away my voice and speak for me" and thats what you did film - you took away the ACTUAL PERSONS' SIGNS YOU FILMED and replaced it with translated captions.

It low key ruined the whole experience. I left the cinema so happy and so mad because I get it in something like Eternals by Marvel (with the Deaf superhero) - we are an extra audience, not the focus. BUT even they did it better. She was at least in the frame most of the time even if the camera did tend to wander a little so that her hands fell out of frame.

This isn't the first film to have done this and won't be the last but it has made me the angriest because it was THIS CLOSE🤏 to being ✨Perfect✨ and yet you couldn't even bother being even a little flexible to actually accomodate Deaf people within your hearing cinematographic norms.

Lastly - what this does is it SHOWS me that sign languages aren't respected by cinema. And despite it wanting to do the opposite it reinforces that. Because if I were hearing I would've heard every. single. word. that a person spoke. But I barely saw half of what was signed.

And so the angy washes out of me like a retreating tide and I retreat with it like the sea to eat my tea.🌊

#BSL #deaf #sign language #accessibility

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aurorawest · 3 months ago

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Summer Reading Update (part 2)

Fall for You by AJ Truman - 3.75/5 stars

Should have read this in the fall since it's fall themed.

By Any Other Name by Erin Cotter - 2.5/5 stars

In His Sights by KC Wells - 4/5 stars

The Bell in the Fog by Lev AC Rosen - 5/5 stars

LOVED this one. I enjoyed the first in the series as well but this one was much better IMO—just a tighter mystery. I actually gasped at one of the reveals.

Lightning Strike Blues by Gayleen Froese - 5/5 stars

I was really pleasantly surprised by how good this book was. It looks like a superhero book but the vibe was more Fringe to me. Fringe meets Letterkenny. And it was really well written! Another book with a good twist. I highly recommend this one.

A Study in Drowning by Ava Reid - DNF at pg 108

The Misfit Mage and His Dashing Devil - DNF at pg 8

In Plain Sight by KC Wells - 3.75/5 stars

Planetfall by Emma Newman - 4/5 stars

Before All the World by Moriel Rothman-Zecher

I didn't know how to rate this one, so I didn't. It was pretty experimental, and I just didn't think I could rate it fairly. Its Storygraph average is 4.2/5 and it's definitely an interesting read.

Somewhere in the Gray Area - DNF at pg 32

Kit & Basie by Tess Carletta - 4/5 stars

Fence Vol 6: Redemption by CS Pacat and Johanna the Mad - 5/5 stars

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White - 4.75/5 stars

I haven't had good luck with Rainbow Crate books, to the point that after I canceled my subscription, I went through all the ones still in my TBR, read the first page, and got rid of most of them. I kept this one because it's highly praised, and I ended up loving it. It probably would have been a 5 star read, except I thought the epilogue really undercut the effectiveness of the rest of the book.

Time to Shine by Rachel Reid - 5/5 stars

I think Rachel Reid was the first m/m hockey romance author I read, and I still think she writes some of the best.

Paladin's Hope by T Kingfisher - 4/5 stars

One Wicked Night by Colette Rivera - DNF at pg 136

10 Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall - 5/5 stars

I was really apprehensive about this book. A few years ago I LOVED Alexis Hall, but I haven't enjoyed several of his new releases. I'm so glad I gave this one a chance because it's probably my favorite of all his books now. It's hilarious and cringey (good cringey) and romantic.

After the Forest by Kell Woods - DNF at pg 63

Lord Garrington's Vessel by S Rodman - DNF at pg 5

Alike as Two Bees by Elin Gregory - 4.25/5 stars

Dragged to the Wedding by Andrew Grey - 3.75/5 stars

His Lordship's Master by Samantha SoRelle - 4.5/5 stars

Fire from the Sky by Moa Backe Åstot (translated by Eva Apelqvist) - 5/5 stars

Gorgeous YA book about a Sami teenage boy who's struggling to reconcile the fact that he's gay and in love with his best friend with the fact that he doesn't want to leave his town and reindeer herding, even though he'd find more acceptance in a city. Also the translator lives in Minnesota.

#the bell in the fog #lev ac rosen #evander mills #lightning strike blues #gayleen froese #the spirit bares its teeth #andrew joseph white #time to shine #rachel reid #10 things that never happened #alexis hall #fire from the sky #moa backe åstot #reading tag

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protagonistheavy · 2 years ago

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Worst episode of X-Files so far: First Person Shooter. An episode about a "first person shooter" which is in fact a pseudo-VR PvE laser tag. This has every writing element you could imagine from a late 90s-early 2000s drama that wants to make a plot out of video games but doesn't know anything about them. So many parts of this episode are so outright cringe that it can't even be forgiven for simply being a product of its time, it's too lazy to be given that excuse.

Some cringe parts of this episode:

In general the special effects are cringe. X-Files normally makes due with high quality SFX, but since it's a video game world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they decided it was okay for every SFX to look terrible. Flat explosions, overdone CGI, the works.

They hire a Japanese gaming "guru" to playtest the game, exhibiting the usual tropes of "guy who's really good at All video games because the writers think all video game skills are translatable between games."

The plot itself is Scully and Mulder get trapped in the video game but despite constantly being monitored in the physical space, no one knows or is fully aware that they go missing somehow.

The villain is a hypersexualized assassin dominatrix woman, which is cringe on its own, but it turns out she got into the game because the female developer was developing her as a female power fantasy to counteract the "testosterone culture" she was surrounded by. Cringe on several levels, but its disappointing that the writers had a chance to explore women looking to explore power fantasies in video games but instead just made it sort of a joke without seriously exploring it.

At least five minutes of the episode is just Mulder and Scully shooting at clones of the villain, the villain shooting at them, and the other characters having the most pointless and uneventful argument. Five minutes of cutting back and forth between people shooting guns, interspliced with people repeating themselves over and over. Holy shit.

Nothing gets even a vague explanation. Nothing is haunted, nothing is alien, we're just supposed to go through this episode believing a video game became possessed by a 3D model of a stripper and is now killing people IRL through means that never get explained -- not even a mystical explanation, "oh the VR is so real that they imagine getting shot for real and die," that doesn't work because someone's hands literally get cut off. It's so fucking stupid, it's just stuff happening for the sake of a very stupid plot about a technology and culture the writers don't understand.

But they understand the culture well enough to want to make these big comments on it, "oooh humans are just so violent and impulsive, especially men, men just need outlets for violence in a civilized society."

We only see two levels of this game. The first level is a open alley in a city where you shoot people on motorcycles. The second level -- said by the developer to be so challenging that no one has ever beat it, great job dev, you made the game impossible to beat by the second level and you ship the game this week -- is just cowboy themed. You go from shooting up "cyber-thugs" to playing Mad Dog McCree in VR. (No wonder the second level was impossible to beat.)

The name of the development team is First Person Shooter. I legitimately think the writers didn't understand that First Person Shooter is the name of the genre, and just assumed it could be the name of a company that makes VR arcade games.

It was cool for 2 seconds when Scully enters the game and she has a huge gun but that's the bingo free space, any episode is better with Scully holding a huge gun. Other than that I have nothing to enjoy about this episode lol. According to the trivia, they were working on this episode hours before it aired, yeah maybe they shouldve just put on a rerun.

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psyknight72 · 2 years ago

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Big fat thread about an unfinished Pokédex

Admittedly, they aren’t very Grass type for a starter line. They are herons/storks that end with a “mad” scientist and windmill motif, the latter is shown better in the G-Max tho. The G-Max is a Don Quijote “Giant” and likely how Homo Floresiensis looked at Flores’ giant storks

Storks are common in Spain and I saw literally a flock of migrating herons from my dad’s car during my childhood, hence why this pick for my grass starter

G-Max Crumenill was mostly inspired in giant flower-”crest” like the ones of Petaldramon or Flowered Sectonia

Hierbill’s neck is like green heron’s neck and Crumenill’s bow tie spins when generating electricity

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The Fire starter line takes inspiration from the origin of the myth of fire salamanders, obviously axolotls/olms and San Juan’s bonfire, as well as something unfortunate about axolotls. This G-Max was the weakest design of the starter trio to be honest

The fire salamander is the most common salamander in Europe. The axolotl details were taken because they give a very good aesthetic and were easy to implement

The loose skin “coat” is meant to look short like a sorcerer cloak. The vivid belly patterns were based on Monster Hunter’s Nibelsnarf and the ones of the G-Max form are meant to look like lava

The unfortunate thing about axolotls is how their skin is damaged by staying too much time out of water. Good to find for the inspiration of this line, but the picture of the poor axolotl so crippled breaks my heart

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Yeah, the Water starter line are literal water bears, tanks in every sense of the word, but as bears with traits of the tardigrade rather than the other way around (because the other is quite overused) and with fun inspiration in spanish stuff

Bathcub’s name was prompted by my friend EventHorizontal

Aside from the Iberian Bear, the traits of diving and astronaut suits and submarines are because the first versions of the suits were made by Spanish people. In the case of the submarine it was just the first armed submarine

Tankursa takes inspiration from Mecha Bun-Bun from The Battle Cats

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The early Normal type line are just really European rabbits with a fun twist, turning into a spanish conqueror. They are super common here and a pest everywhere else, so you get the drill

Mundabitt looks like as if it was permanently startled/curious because I have never seen a rabbit directly that wasn’t like either of those

Clawqueror’s claws are meant to resemble the blades used by the conquerors, but they accurately are like how long rabbit claws are

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The low tier early Bug types are earwigs because it’s very odd that such a mundane insect hasn’t been used by Pokémon yet. They have exaggerated rear pincers because earwigs doesn’t have much else than their butt pincers

The names of both use the spanish translation of buttface combined with words to fit the whole “It thinks it’s way cooler than how it actually is” For the laughs, if I designed their stats, they would get Guillotine hilariously early

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A regional variant! One of the many that at the end evolved into a new fakemon here. Is Pidove, but became a city pigeon by eating garbage, so it’s just really a regular pigeon

While the whole idea is about the city, domestic and rock pigeons, this character (see until 1:16) was the biggest inspiration for this https://youtu.be/cw2c4r5gkvs?t=53

As they are Poison type and the colors of the rock pigeon fit with cigarettes, Filftdove’s color are based around these and smoke The fact that regular pigeons have both green and violet was too perfect for a Poison type to let it pass

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Another line of early Bug types that starts as a pitiful worm that decides if to protect the weak as it was or if to get revenge on those who hurt it. Based on Kamen Rider like Lokix for the bug theme (although I made these years before)

Atempupa is mean to represent a punching bag and bandages The fly hero/mosquito villain contrast was short of a joke because as a person with atopic skin, biting flies actually leave worse bites than mosquitoes

Tabanero is literally Kamen Rider. The wings are his scarf and when it goes G-Max it basically goes “Anime hero over the top stuff”, not because Kamen Rider but for fun Maldamo is the leader of Shocker, but it takes heavy inspiration from Parallel Nightmare from Kirby. In fact, Maldamo has no legs

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The early bird fodder here are based on sparrows and immediately in the second stage they are bearded vultures. Bird repeats do change to different species more often than you might think, but it’s honestly cooler to do this

Trituross takes the regular and clay-stained coloration of bearded vultures and nothing else because they are awesome enough

The Ground type was initially because the bone moves motif and added with clay to fit the concept, I didn’t know that bearded vultures ACTUALLY use clay on their feathers until much later

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Pokémon did their own Spanish Grass cat and I decided to do mine. Interestingly both take inspiration from the Cipotegato, which was a funny coincidence, although mine ended inspired in San Jorge’s legend (and the Shrek Puss in Boots) And if you think that Meowscarada is based in the Mars de Foie, you know shit about Spanish culture

The original idea was a rose Pokémon with a rapier (as it’s a Spanish sword) that turned Fairy in reference to the rose that grew from the blood of the dragon that San Jorge killed in his legend and was pretty much a Roserade clone

The concept nailing when like this:

1- The Tomatina is a well known Spanish tradition that involves a plant

2- Tomatoes and roses are related and their fruits are similar

3- One of the Tomatina’s origin comes from the legend of a harlequin with a cat mask

4- The Shrek’s Puss in Boots is a Spanish cat that wields a rapier

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My Pikaclone here is a shrew because they have an unhinged metabolism and because they were perfect for an Electric/Poison fakemon. Also because with this I could make it more comfortable for my designing style

Originally it didn’t have the white Pikachu-like cheeks, but after Fauxlens suggested these to make it look more like the other Pikaclones I considered and finally used it

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These weren’t for dog Pokémon fodder but more because I wanted to make a literal spanish water dog. While water dogs has been done fittingly as mop dogs, I wanted a different take that ties to poodles as they are hunting dogs

When you think in poodles you usually don’t get the picture of a hunting dog adapted to water, so that’s why I wanted to go in this vein

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This Paras line is just free of harmful fungi and instead have benign symbiotic edible mushrooms. As child I always saw Parasect as a crab-spider thing rather than as a stylized cicada, so that’s why Matantis is like a mix of mantis and oil beetle with some fun in the mix

Certain oil beetles in Spain are called Aceiteras, which translates as oil container. Although subtle, the long body and nose are meant to be like a bottle of cooking oil

The mantis part is because the mushroom “buns” were inspired from Monster Hunter’s armor piece Chaos Cap, which is based in Chun-Li clothing

It isn’t Fighting because it was originally going to be Normal type and since it looks like an ugly Chun-Li and mantises just do fighting moves for bluffing, it was fitting

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These Timburs use sacks instead of their regular tools to steal things from others. It’s based in a rural sport called “Smuggler Race” that involves carrying sacks like these Before you ask, yes, I played the chorizo pun and yes, Chorerurr is just a politician

The chorizo thing is a pun because we use chorizo for the sausage but an old term for “to steal” was “chorar” and thus saying “ser un chorizo” equals to “to be a thief”

The Dark type was initially a bit forced in the most early versions but aside from the Smuggler Race, the sacks that they use were going to be the shed skin of another fakemon based on the man of the sack, a version of the spanish boogeyman, which was Dark type

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Making an ice skating Surkist’s evo isn’t mindblowing, but I wanted to do my own take because it’s fun

Skice’s design takes inspiration from the main character of the Nitrome games’ Frostbite and its Spin Off Thin Ice, mostly on the latter

In fact, its lore would have involved sinking opponents by cutting circles in the ice just like that character

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My first shiny ever was a Yanma in Platinum. As I lost the game eons ago, I made this to tribute it. This Yanma is a dragonfly nymph and the evolution, aside from the overused dragonfly pun, is based in a damselfly, which in Spanish they get the name of “Horses of the devil”

Damselflies’ Spanish name inspired some pretty cool pictures like this and became the main inspiration for Diablanma

Since it’s “horse”-like, it was intended to be a flying Poke Ride

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This Tynamo line is all about love and passion, two things that lampreys absolutely don’t have. They bite and thrash to make babies, so for this absolutely anti-romantic fact I wanted to make this joke

The palette was inspired by the Spanish dish of lamprey cooked in their own blood and the Tinto River and the “burning passion” idea came because male lampreys have a special cord that heathens by pyrocells when reproducing

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This variant of Rolycoly is quite literally the Ave trains because in Shinaipa they breed Rolycoly to not use coal and be more ecologic. They served me for years to see my father after my parents divorced The penguin part is because ave means bird and because an inner joke about how the train stations in where I live are very cold

The idea for the G-Max was going to be the full train but as a goofy vertically elongated penguin which move would be called G-Max Delay This, combined with Stall as a possible ability, is because these trains basically always get late

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At this point these last lines didn’t get any lore because I was approaching the burnout of this dex, but for context, this one is based on the Gamusino. Essentially a fictional animal to prank strangers and kids Likely, I would have made its lore being a non legendary Pokémon so rare that people often doubt that it actually exists despite being recognized in the Pokedex

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Based on the cases of witchcraft and witch-hunting in Zugarramurdi. They became vengeful wraiths after being burnt to death and use the fire that killed them to cast fireballs. Zugaruja’s eyes aren’t usually seen, but when you see them, you can feel the deep hatred of it This is what happens when you don’t expect the Spanish inquisition

This line went through many many concepts around the same basis and while I didn’t bother in making Zugaruja’s G-Max, it would have been based around Drawcia Soul

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These variants are based on the Gaizkin, a mythological vasque creature that sickens sleeping people by putting under their beds rooster heads made with feathers. You likely won’t find much about them because for some reason the info about these has become somehow more scarce through years

Their lore is that they were evil creatures that were ridiculed with chicken-like bodies as a punishment

The last evo, just like Grimmsnarl, is actually way thinner than how it looks due the feathers making its bulk Its G-Max would have been roughly in the giant bird of The Claw (1957)

Baba Yaga ideas would have been fitting but very odd to use on this and not in Zugaruja’s one

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The last two lines that were going to make into the dex were based around two ice poles we have here, starting kinda goofy but turning awesome for no reason. In this case they were based on Dracula poles

The pre-evo would have been able to sneeze icicles and the evo would have gotten an ability that boost 30% damage when hailing/snow, basically having recoilless Life Orb and a free item slot in hail/snow The more I think about it, the evo is quite literally ice Noivern. Btw, this is the ice cream I’m talking about

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These are based on the Frigo Pie, an ice cream that looks like a foot, for some reason Anyways, these go from red footed boobies to a short of mix of animals aiming for something like an owl bear because I wanted some short of abominable snow monster

I really mixed design traits to make the evo look cool, but I think that I was really thinking in some of the Frostbite’s creatures in my unconscious when doing this one

And this is the weird Frigo Pie

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These didn’t convince me at the end, but these are the only ones of the good bunch of non-designed ideas and concepts that got a design We have in Spain the legend of the Black Hand, a ghostly severed hand thing. Since I wanted to make a sock puppet for fun, I thought in making a counterpart since in Pokémon we have the White Hand

Aside from the ghostly hands inspiration, they are also themed on Master and Crazy Hand. In fact, the Crazy Hand one’s glove isn’t patched by needlework, it was added with staplers

The Crazy pre-evo is meant to look like that disgruntled Kermit’s face

Oh and yes, those translucid parts are bones. Of humans? Yes and no, but I will just leave that in the air

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And that’s it. Thank you if you went through the full thing

#pokemon #Pokemon Fanart #Fakemon #pokedex

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