#and the fact that shiv is so used to it that all she did was roll her eyes

[mushroomheadgirl]

Roman stop talking about your sister in explicit sexual detail challenge 🫶

[egcdeath]

sealing the deal

pairing: patrick zweig x reader

summary: you and patrick make a few unique business proposals to each other.

word count: 7k

warnings: succession au – tomshiv dynamic (pre-failmarriage), proposals (business and romantic), fluff, a little angst, mentions of a dad being very sick/almost dying, lots of exposition/background on the relationship, art cameo, a little domesticity, established relationship

author’s note: you don’t have to know anything about succession to enjoy this fic! i’ll explain everything that you need to know. if you’re a diehard succession fan i can’t promise that everything will be completely faithful to the source material but it definitely takes a lot of inspiration from tom and shiv’s dynamic.

i wanted to give a HUGE thank you to my succession anon who gave me so much help and guidance for this fic and basically ended up being my co-author for this fic! i hope you all enjoy :)

It wasn’t always easy loving the youngest son of the owner of a multi-billion dollar media conglomerate. 

In fact, most of the time, it was quite the opposite. 

Even without Patrick working in his family’s business, it always felt a little bit like you were in a competition for brain space and time with his family and career, and you were losing. Badly. 

You weren’t exactly sure that you knew what you signed up for when you first met Patrick—connected to each other by a mutual friend you went to business school with, whom you’d begged to try to set you two up for career advancement purposes more than anything else. 

“You know that guy you keep asking me about?” your friend asked you after taking a hefty sip from the drink the bartender just passed her. 

“Patrick Zweig?” you asked, not bothering to pretend like you didn’t know who she was talking about. 

“Yeah!” she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. You weren’t sure where she was going with this subject, but you were intrigued by her mention of the man and her apparent entertainment at the situation. 

“What about him?” you asked, perversely curious as to why she was bringing him up now. 

“I invited him to come out with us tonight!” she laughed once more as she divulged this information, as if it wasn’t shocking news to you.  

“What? What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me before!” you practically yelled at her over the sound of loud music and other bar patrons. You suddenly felt very self conscious. If you’d known you were going to meet Patrick Zweig tonight, you would’ve put yourself together, rather than coming straight from work to the bar. 

“I wanted to surprise you!” she continued with her giggling at a situation that you did not find nearly as humorous. “Oh my god. I wish you could see your face right now.”

“I hate you!” you laughed, thinking that maybe this was some sort of prank. “You’re joking, then?”

“No, he’s really coming. He just got back from D.C. and wanted to meet with me. I asked if my hot friend could come along and he was like, ‘Obviously!’”

You groaned aloud. This wasn’t how you intended to make your first impression on him.

“Okay, well, what’s his type?” you asked her, hoping to get a bit of insight before you were launched right into what might end up being your first date. You were sure that you would make a good impression if you showed up as you were, but you wanted to be better than good. You didn’t want to be just another forgettable notch on his bedpost.

“I don’t know,” she sighed, taking a sip from her drink. “Hot? A nice ass? A little mean? Isn’t that every guy’s type?”

“You’re not taking this seriously enough for me,” you replied. You wanted to have a strategy going into this. You would’ve appreciated at least a small briefing before meeting someone so intimidating. 

“I am, you just check all the boxes already. Just be yourself and I’m sure things will work out fine,” she assured you. 

Her assurance was well warranted, considering that things worked out far better than fine. In fact, your friend was overdue for a fruit basket—one that you would be paying for with Patrick’s credit card as you sat in the dining room of your shared penthouse apartment, after you wrapped up a day of work in the skyscraper that was his father’s corporate headquarters. 

At the time, you had a slight idea of who he was, but you had an even better idea of who his family was. Anyone who owned a television would be familiar with his family’s corporation—from the causal channel surfers who passed one of their many news channels during their search for the newest episode of The Bachelor, to the thousands of people with their logo burned into their device screen from the hours they spent with their eyes locked on the 24-hour stream of borderline propaganda. 

Beyond his impressive family, you’d heard whispers and rumors about Patrick for a long time. Between headlines in gossip magazines and stories from your mutual friend, you learned that he’d entered the political world as an attempt to make a name for himself outside of his family name, but struggled to be taken seriously for many years due to the less than stellar reputation that came with being a Zweig.

Although, rumors about his career were just the tip of the iceberg. Gossip about his tumultuous relationships—if they could even be called that—and history of partying far too hard often ran wild, making you believe that your initial meetings with Patrick would be nothing more than a few hookups and sweet talking yourself into a new job. After all, there was no better pillow talk than an elevator pitch. 

At first, your plan seemed like it was right on track. You ended your first night together in the early morning, finding yourself in Patrick’s apartment for hours. Your night hadn’t really ever ended, with the two of you leaving the bar together, having some of the best sex of your life in a bed that felt a little bit like laying on a cloud, then proceeding to talk for hours until it was time for you to go back to work. You smiled to yourself as you sat in the backseat of Patrick’s car, exhausted from the long night and a little uncomfortable in yesterday’s clothes, but mostly enthusiastic after your surprisingly eventful night with the man. 

It was a strange turn of events from what you initially expected. While you couldn’t be too sure what you were getting yourself into when you learned you were being set up on a date, you assumed that Patrick would be like any other rich asshole you’d gone out on dates with, who got what they wanted from you, sent you off on your merry way, then never spoke to you again. You quickly discovered that he was unlike anyone you’d ever been with before. 

Patrick seemed to be full of surprises, and the fact that you were going on multiple dates with him in the first place was one of those very surprises. You hadn’t expected to go on any more than three dates before you asked about working for his family, securing yourself a job, then leaving him alone. 

What took you by even greater surprise were the dates themselves. What started as an intimate dinner in one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city ended with you at a terrible 24-hour diner, treating Patrick to his first slice of cherry pie as you talked into the wee hours of the morning. 

Your subsequent dates went similarly, with the two of you talking endlessly about anything and everything. Patrick was someone full of surprises—he was far from the rich asshole you expected him to be, and more like a knowledgeable politics nerd with a lot of money. 

You talked for hours about big things, like why Patrick decided to pursue a career as a political strategist and what brought you to New York City, but you also found it easy to discuss small random things with him, spending an extended period of time discussing how you named your cat, and debating on the best restaurant in the city. 

You always thought of yourself as being somewhat agreeable and friendly when it came to conversation, but your discussions with Patrick took you by surprise. You weren’t sure you’d ever clicked with someone the way you clicked with him, and it made you as excited as it made you nervous. 

By the time you worked up the nerve to ask Patrick about working for his family, you were already beat to the punch. The two of you were tucked into the booth that you’d recently declared as yours in the same diner that you seemed to be spending all of your all-nighters in, reclining comfortably in the particularly uncomfortable seats. 

“Do you like the business side of things?” Patrick asked you, stirring a flattening Diet Coke with a straw. 

“It’s fun,” you dismissed. “It’s less fun going to work on a half-hour of sleep.”

“Shut up. You love it,” the man across from you laughed, an admittedly very handsome half-smile on his face. “I mean it though. Do you like what you’re doing?”

“It pays the bills, I guess. I like the work, but I’m not huge on the company. All the politics and the instability with layoffs lately… It isn’t exactly ideal.”

“Would you ever work for my family?” he asked. “I mean, you’re just wasting potential elsewhere. I really think they could use someone like you on their team.”

“Seriously?” you asked, partially surprised at the proposition, but mostly surprised that you weren’t the one to ask in the first place. Across the table, Patrick listened to you intently. “I mean, If they’d have me, I’d love to work for them.”

“My dad mentioned something about them looking for some new blood. I can put in a good word for you, if that sounds interesting to you.”

“Is this because I showed you the joys of a slice of diner cherry pie?” you joked, trying not to let on just how overjoyed you were about this opportunity. 

“You got me. And now that you mention it, we should probably order another slice,” he suggested, going along with your joke. “You’re smart and you clearly know your shit. Besides, I’m mostly doing it for myself. It’ll be nice to have someone around at company Christmas parties who can actually keep up with me.”

“Well, thank you,” you replied calmly, though you were doing somersaults in your mind. “I look forward to drinking eggnog and singing Mariah Carey songs with you.”

In retrospect, you recognized this action as the first of his many wordless declarations of love. You later learned that Patrick did everything he could to avoid talking business with his family, as it was clearly a sore spot for everyone involved. Realizing that he’d gone out of his way to get you a job had been an even more kind gesture than you knew at the time. 

While you initially expected your fling to taper off after Patrick fulfilled his end of the business deal he didn’t even know he was facilitating, your relationship did nothing of the sort. In fact, his favor seemed to have the opposite effect on your bond. 

Before you knew it, the two of you were courting each other like lovesick Jane Austen protagonists. In another shocking turn of events, Patrick ordered flowers to your doorstep each morning and took you on lavish dates, while you began to take four-hour long train rides to and from D.C. each weekend to visit him, and frequently sent him rambling love letters. 

While you hadn’t expected for your relationship to unfold the way that it did, you genuinely loved Patrick. You loved the way his eyes crinkled when you told him something stupid that he’d laugh at, or how he leaned in to whisper something judgmental in your ear about someone you mutually disliked during family events. You loved the way his hand felt in yours and the way his mind worked, which he frequently displayed to you while discussing his latest political strategy. You even loved when he minced words to describe how he felt about you, knowing that though the word ‘love’ might never leave his lips, his actions spoke far louder than his voice ever could. 

It just so happened that you loved his proximity to power, too. 

While his money and power might have piqued your interest initially, it didn’t change the fact that the two of you quickly clicked. You had a natural chemistry, with you matching Patrick’s flirty words and actions with ease. It also just so happened that you entered each other's lives at the perfect time, with you in dire need of a career upgrade, and Patrick in need of someone unafraid to show him more affection and care than he was willing to give. 

Though he wasn’t the best at communicating his feelings, you quickly became a tenured professor in Patrick-ology. You were certain that this played a role in why Patrick liked you so much in the first place—being somewhat emotionally stunted, he needed someone who could understand his thoughts without him having to explicitly say every detail, and you did exactly that. 

This skill worked out surprisingly well for you. You gave him the love and understanding that he’d been looking for and missing for all of his adult life, and you got to reap the benefits that came with being in a relationship with someone in one of the most powerful families in the world. 

Despite your more humble beginnings, you quickly became familiar with luxurious items and activities. You also quickly learned that no matter how prepared you thought you were for that level of wealth—you weren’t. You couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times your unfamiliarity with certain norms left you as the laughing stock of the family. 

But it wasn’t all corner offices in skyscrapers and helicopter rides. During the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it certainly felt like it, but the cracks in your foundation became more and more evident every day. 

The thing was, as much as you two cared about each other, there was a family shaped shadow that loomed over everything that you did. It was clear that you were an outsider in Patrick’s family. Coming from an upper-middle class Midwestern background, you were often made to feel like you were a stupid gold-digger, only staying around your boyfriend for power, rather than love. At times, you wondered if his family knew what love was at all. 

The love, or lack thereof in Patrick’s family was what shocked you most of all. It was no secret that his father was unnecessarily cruel to all of his children, but particularly to his siblings trying to work their way into more serious positions in the company. Patrick somehow managed to dodge that particular flavor of cruelty, with him very obviously being his father’s favorite and working outside of the family business, but the emotional scars his father left still lingered. 

But his father’s presence didn’t just loom over him, it was beginning to loom over you, too. Not only in the extreme intimidation you felt when having to interact with him, but in the small acts of callousness Patrick showed you throughout the course of your relationship. 

It began as small things, things that bothered you less the more you got used to them. Like how he always seemed to unconsciously belittle your work, not even bothering to seem interested in the recaps you gave of your day before he launched into a story of his own about the candidate he was working with. Though you tried your hardest to fight through your smaller pet peeves with him, Patrick’s inability to be straightforward about his emotions felt like the cherry on top of an already painful sundae.

Regardless of all of the flaws, bumps, and roadblocks in your relationship, you promised to yourself that you would be in Patrick’s corner, no matter how ugly things got or how poorly he treated you. Not only out of your own self-interest, but out of your love for the man, and the knowledge of how difficult his upbringing made certain things for him. 

Which was why when you got the call from Patrick that something had gone terribly wrong with his father while coming back from his birthday celebration, you didn’t hesitate to rush to the hospital, encouraging your driver to speed all the way to the building. 

When you arrived, he and his siblings were in disarray in a way you’d never seen before. His father, who was typically a presence that towered over everyone in the room, was reduced to an old man hooked up to a number of machines. His older sisters, who were always either waiting for the moment to swoop in and make a crude joke or waiting in the wings to discuss the next business strategy, paced back and forth endlessly, clearly feeling the pressure of their sick father.

Patrick sat alone on an uncomfortable chair, peering helplessly into the observation room. It was rare for you to see him with his feelings written so openly across his face, even after years of being in a relationship with him. That concerned you.

You made quick work of walking over to Patrick, whose tensed-up shoulders slightly dropped as you took a seat next to him. Though he wouldn’t ever tell you this, you knew that your presence made him feel more supported and a little more safe, though you being or not being in the hospital clearly wouldn’t have an impact on if his father lived or died. 

“Hey,” he greeted you, immediately squeezing your hand. “Thanks for coming,” he said weakly, as if he was fighting off a new round of tears. In that moment, you so desperately wanted to take some of his emotions for yourself, knowing that Patrick hated feeling any feeling, let alone such negative feelings to such a serious degree. 

“Of course, honey,” you reassured him, running what you hoped would be a grounding hand up and down his arm. “Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Water? A snack? I saw that burger place you like on my way over.”

“No, nothing right now,” he sighed. You inspected him cautiously, knowing that he wasn’t exactly one to always say what he meant. “Really,” he assured you, though you didn’t completely buy it. 

Since he wasn’t in the mood for more material items, you decided that the best course of action was a little affection. He wasn’t always the biggest fan of receiving affection in front of his family, but you figured that in a time where he was uncertain if his father would live or die, he would appreciate a little outward support. 

You laid your head on his shoulder and angled your body closer to his. Not expecting any response, you were surprised when Patrick kissed the top of your head. “I’m glad you’re here,” he told you quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he’d be in trouble if someone overheard him. 

You held his hand as the two of you sat for hours, only getting up to stretch your legs or take phone calls from friends with insight on other high-end medical facilities that might be able to better accommodate Patrick’s father. 

You did your best to give Patrick his space when he needed it, as he floated between two of his siblings—one of which was focused mainly on the future of the company, and the other in a state of denial about the state of her father—then back to you when he could no longer stand the chaos of his sisters. 

It was a stressful scene, and one that was clearly too much for your boyfriend, who went back and forth between wanting to be glued at your hip, and wanting to be left completely alone. You’d seen Patrick stressed in the past, with him chatting your ear off as he waited for his candidate’s election results, or as he prepared to give a speech at an event, but you’d never seen him like this. 

He almost seemed fragile, like one wrong word or action might break him. It frightened you to see him in such a state. Again, you lamented not being able to take some of his pain for yourself. 

In the time that you waited without any word from any doctors, a few gears began to turn in your mind. Life was so fleeting, which was proven by Patrick’s mighty father falling so seemingly easily. Really, it could’ve been any of you sitting on that table with tubes and monitors attached to you. If it were Patrick who was sitting on that gurney, you would be an absolute wreck. If he somehow died, you also wouldn’t technically be a widow, despite your long-term relationship with the man. 

All of it made you wonder if you should just bite the bullet and propose to Patrick.

Sure, it wasn’t the best timing ever. Sure, you’d always imagined yourself being on the receiving end of a grand proposal, especially from someone like Patrick. But maybe he would appreciate the gesture—giving him a distraction to take away some of his pain, and giving him one final grand milestone with you while his dad was still alive. 

To a lesser extent, being married would provide you with certain protections you didn’t have while you were only his long-term girlfriend. Obviously, you didn’t want to think of anything bad happening to your boyfriend, but accidents and tragedies could happen at any point, and it was better to be prepared than to be sorry. 

It felt right that you might be able to join his family during a time where he was losing a family member. Not only for his sake, but because losing their patriarch meant unprecedented instability in his family. You wanted to be sure of your spot amongst them, after you’d grown used to the privileges that came with being Patrick’s girlfriend. 

You fidgeted with the ring on your middle finger, a family heirloom passed from generation to generation onto you. It was no expensive piece of jewelry, and it certainly wasn’t an engagement ring, but it was incredibly meaningful to you—a symbol of your family, which was extremely important to you. Patrick knew just how much you valued the ring and exactly what it represented to you, so in turn, you hoped that if you gave it to him, he would understand how much he meant to you. 

Getting up from where you’d been sitting for far too long, you began to pace the hallways of the hospital, wondering about the timing of your now imminent proposal. As you shuffled through the sterile building, you surprised yourself as you came across your partner. 

“Patrick!” you said with a start after unexpectedly catching a glimpse of him. 

“Hey,” he greeted unenthusiastically before beginning to walk right past you. 

“Wait,” you grabbed onto his arm before he could fully walk away, encouraging him to look right at you. It was now or never, and the words were on the tip of your tongue. 

“I’m sorry, I really don’t have time for this right now,” he dismissed, his voice monotone and listless. 

“You do, though. Patrick, listen,” he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk, but was prepared to listen to you anyway. You knew you only had a few seconds to pitch your proposition before you lost him, so you spat out your words rather than beating around the bush. “Let’s get married.”

“What?” he looked at you with brows drawn in confusion. It wasn’t exactly the ideal reaction to your proposal, but then again it wasn’t much of a proposal. “Right now?”

“Obviously not now, but… soon?” as you spoke, you began the process of slipping the ring off your middle finger and attempting to present it to him in the palm of your hand. Sure, it wasn’t the most romantic or put together proposal, but it felt right to be offering him such a grand and personal gesture while everything else was going sideways in his life. 

“I know it’s probably not the best time, but I thought that maybe I could make things a little better with your dad and… I don’t know. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If something ever happened to you, I wouldn’t want to wonder about what we could’ve been and-” you rambled on before you were interrupted with a sigh. 

“Honey, you can’t just make my dad dying better,” he rubbed his temple exasperatedly, then looked between you and the ring you were presenting him with. “If you wanted to make me feel better, you should’ve just brought me coffee.”

You frowned at him, knowing that you’d offered him that very thing earlier and he turned you down. You wondered if your communication would ever improve—or if it even needed to improve, since this proposal was going so poorly that you’d probably leave the hospital single. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” you closed your palm and put your hand in the pocket of your jacket, fully prepared for Patrick to tell you to fuck all the way off. It had been stupid for you to think that Patrick would appreciate such a grand gesture during such a terrible time. 

“Wait,” Patrick stopped you, now reaching for your arm. “My answer isn’t a no, it’s just… I don’t want this to be the memory. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Doing all the work of getting your hand out of your pocket, he grabbed the ring you presented him with to further prove his words and slipped it on his ringer. It only fit halfway down his finger, but he kept it on regardless. 

“Really?” you said, suddenly perking up.

“Duh,” he replied, looking a little shy as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he briefly looked away from you, as if his feelings were so strong that he couldn’t even manage to look you in the eye. 

You couldn’t contain your excitement at his answer, jumping and squealing a little bit as you pulled him into an overly enthusiastic hug. You heard the familiar sound of Patrick laughing quietly in your ear as you squeezed him. Though he always seemed to hold back his emotions, you knew that he was just as excited as you were to be promised to one another.

You pulled him into a soft kiss, draping your arms around his neck, holding him as close as you could until he inevitably pushed you away. 

Patrick surprised you with how long he was willing to embrace you, clearly in need of a little bit of comfort after such an emotionally exhausting night. You surprised yourself when you ended up being the person to pull away. 

“Should we go check on our family?” you asked, not bothering to hide your excitement around finally being in. 

“I just need a second,” he told you, glancing down the hallway before pulling you into yet another embrace. He pressed his face into your hair, soothing himself with your scent and presence. You rubbed circles into his back and muttered something about him taking all the time he needed.

You were interrupted by one of Patrick’s sisters, whose voice called out your names down the hallway. “When you two are finished with your snuggle-fest, the doctor has news for us.”

“Wait, what?” Patrick pushed you away quickly, his tune changing in an instant.

“Good news, I think. But move your asses. C’mon,” she directed, already turning away and Patrick quickly following her. 

If you were experiencing an emotional rollercoaster, you couldn’t even begin to understand how Patrick was feeling. Finding out his dad was sick, being proposed to, and immediately hearing more news about his father in the span of just a few hours must’ve felt unreal. 

You sat quietly and observed from the sidelines as a doctor took them into their father’s room and filled in the siblings on the state of him. They all seemed to share a collective sigh of relief, and though you couldn’t hear the exact news from where you were sitting, you knew that it must’ve been good. 

When Patrick came back to you, he had a hint of a sad smile on his face. “Ready to go?” he asked you. 

He didn’t need you to ask twice. You were more than prepared to escape the too-bright lights, sickeningly sterile scent, and the feeling of sadness that seemed to be hanging in the air of the hospital. 

Your driver was a welcome sight, with him giving you a quiet greeting as the two of you got in the backseat of the car. As he drove, Patrick reached for your hand, which you gladly gave up to him. 

In the following minutes, Patrick crept over further into your space until he sat directly beside you, leaning his head on you with his eyes closed. The long day was surely taking its toll, with the anxiety of his dad being in such dire straits, and the excitement and confusion of you proposing to him. 

His sleep was well earned. You pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, then closed your own eyes, letting the soft sound of the early morning city traffic lull you to sleep. 

In the following days, you could tell that something wasn’t quite right with Patrick. At first, you chalked it up to nerves around his father’s health, but that didn’t seem to be it. Typically, when Patrick was really anxious about something, his silence on the elephant-sized topic gave him away. While you’d heard quite a bit about the state of his father from him—whether it was an update sent to him by his step-mother or an actual visit to the man—you hadn’t heard a peep about your engagement since the day after you got engaged. 

On the other hand, you were struggling to keep the news to yourself, despite the request of Patrick. You wanted to scream the announcement from the rooftops, but in the early morning after you returned from the hospital, Patrick made his position very clear: Wait a little while for things to blow over before you started telling people– your friends and family included. 

Despite the fact that he wore your ring every day since the day that you’d given it to him, something about his behavior told you that it was that very ring that was giving him so much internal conflict. 

In the past few years of knowing Patrick, you learned that he was a bit of a control freak. You wondered how out of control it made him feel for you to be the person to propose to him. Part of you wondered if you should’ve even proposed in the first place if it was going to be an issue. Maybe you should’ve let him do things on his own timeline, rather than making him feel nervous or insecure in your relationship.

But at the same time, Patrick initially seemed rather entertained by the idea of you getting married. In the morning after your engagement, he couldn’t stop referring to you as Mrs. Zweig. At the desk of your brand new office, given to you after a serious promotion, you found a box of expensive chocolates with a note fondly referring to you as his fiancé. As you laid next to him in bed that night, he pulled up the profiles of three separate wedding planners and asked you about your preference in people. 

It almost felt like his feelings on your engagement were constantly fluctuating between being excited to be with you forever, and being terrified of that very commitment. Things weren’t made any better by Patrick’s professional-level ability to dodge questions, especially questions related to how he genuinely felt. 

“C’mon, you know how I feel,” he replied to you after you directly asked him over breakfast. He lifted his mug casually, subconsciously putting space between the two of you. 

“Pat, I don’t. That’s why I asked,” you forced out a laugh, though the situation wasn’t exactly funny to you. If Patrick didn’t want to marry you, you didn’t want to force him to do so. 

“But you always know how I feel,” he said with a bit of a pout and a whine—what you called his ‘let me get away with it’ demeanor that he often used with his family—before setting down his coffee and standing up. 

“Not this time,” you explained, standing up as well and abandoning the plate of half-eaten eggs in front of you. 

“You’ll figure it out,” he dismissed your concerns and stepped close enough to you to hold your face in both of his hands. 

“Love you?” you asked, hoping that if he could confirm that at the very least, you might have a better understanding of what was going through his head. 

“Of course,” he said genuinely, though he didn’t offer you any parroting of those words. Instead, he dropped his hands from your cheeks and kissed one of them. “Have a good day at work, okay?” 

“Yeah. Thanks,” you tried not to look as annoyed as you actually felt as you made quick work of grabbing your work bag and leaving. You needed some time to make sense of it all. 

The situation only became more complicated as you sat down in a conference room, mentally preparing yourself to make your first big presentation as the newly vetted Head of Parks and Cruises division. You cared greatly about what your peers thought about you, so you couldn’t deny the nerves running through your veins. 

These nerves only increased when you caught a glimpse of Patrick from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows of the conference room, shaking hands with people on your floor and clearly making cordial small talk. 

You desperately hoped that he was there to wish you luck on your presentation, and not to pick your conversation from the morning back up. You bitterly thought about how he couldn’t have picked a worse time as he waved at you from the window. You stiffly waved back, not exactly in the mood to be interrupted right before a big presentation. 

“Hey, if I don’t make it back for whatever reason, you can do this presentation, right?” you asked quietly, leaning into your newly-hired assistant’s ear. 

“Wait, what?” he asked you, brows furrowing. “I don’t know, I haven’t practiced or anything, and-“

“Perfect,” you replied, not listening to a single word he was rambling out. “Just read off the slides. You’ll be okay.”

You didn’t bother staying to listen to Art ramble in your ear about how he didn’t know what he was doing. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be the one presenting, and if he absolutely had to, he’d probably be fine. 

You shut the door behind you, politely waving at one of your co-workers as they entered the conference room. You made your way to Patrick and stood with your arms crossed against your chest, trying to strike a good balance between showing him how agitated you were, and not trying to further agitate your fiancé, who seemed to be in a particularly fragile mental state lately. 

“Hi honey, is anything important going on?” Patrick asked once you stood across from him. 

“Actually, yeah. Is there any way we could chat a little later? Like maybe an hour or two?” you suggested. “I can block some time off on my calendar for you and everything.”

“I’m sure whatever it is isn’t more important than this,” he glanced over at the conference room as he spoke to demonstrate his point. You wished you could explain to him how far that was from the truth.

“What is it?” you asked, your patience beginning to grow thin.

“You’ll have to see. Come with me?” he offered. 

“Patrick, I’m in the middle of a meeting!” you whisper-shouted, trying to keep your voice down and your body language mostly neutral, so your colleagues couldn’t observe how much you were freaking out as you talked to your partner. 

“It hasn’t started yet,” he dismissed casually. “They’ll be fine without you. I won’t be fine without you.”

You eyed him suspiciously. 

“Please,” he added, as if you’d ever be able to say no to him—though you were pretty tempted to do so. 

“Fine,” you gave in with a small, soft sigh. That didn’t deter Patrick at all, who seemed uncharacteristically excited as the two of you sat in the backseat of his car. 

“So where are we going? Or, what are we doing?” you asked, trying to ignore the terrible feeling in your gut that you felt about leaving your meeting. 

“It’s a surprise,” Patrick said coyly. “It’ll be more fun than that meeting, though.”

“I’m sure,” you replied, looking out the window. You hoped that whatever romantic gesture Patrick planned would be worth losing the respect of all of your peers. You wondered what you could tell them that would make your absence seem acceptable. Family emergency? It wasn’t exactly a lie. It wasn’t quite the truth either. 

When your ride stopped and you stepped out of the vehicle, you were surprised to find yourself at the diner that you spent the majority of your first few dates at, splitting pieces of pie and talking each other’s ears off for hours. 

“Craving some cherry pie?” you asked him curiously. Obviously, this seemed like a task he could’ve handled on his own, coming to the diner himself or having his driver buy and deliver him a whole pie, but you figured that maybe he was simply in the mood for some nostalgic comfort. In the midst of such chaos, you would be happy to give that to him. 

“It’s been too long,” he shrugged before grabbing your hand.

Patrick led you to the booth that you declared as yours all those years ago, and began to chat your ear off like normal. While you wanted to think about work, it was surprisingly easy to forget about the real world when you were in such a nostalgic place with him. 

The two of you ordered your old usual order, only enhancing the feeling of nostalgia as you shared a plate of painfully average pancakes and a slice of cherry pie.

“Ew, what is that?” you laughed after you bit into something hard and gross. “This fucking place,” you muttered, looking for a napkin that you could spit out whatever it was that you almost just consumed. 

When you glanced down at the napkin, you were shocked to find what looked like a metal ring covered in cherry syrup. “Oh shit. Do you think this belonged to someone?” 

Once you looked up, you were shocked to find Patrick holding a black velvet box, one that you’d seen before nearly a year ago as you deep-cleaned your shared bedroom, one that you chalked up as a gift for his mother or a friend. 

“Patrick?” you asked, clearly confused. He parroted your name right back to you and opened up the box, showing you one of the most beautiful rings you ever laid your eyes on. 

Suddenly, it made sense why he asked you to come out with him, interrupting you in the middle of the day to take you to a diner where you shared so many memories. Sure, he could’ve waited until you got off work, but you figured he was thinking about your conversation from the morning and wanted to do something that would show you how much he truly cared about you. He’d always been better at bigger gestures than verbally sharing his feelings, so part of you remained unsurprised. 

“I first fell in love with you here, so it only felt right to bring you back here to ask you to marry me?” he explained, not breaking eye contact with you. He was never one for a soapbox when it came to sharing his feelings, so his proposal was short and straight to the point. Though, you wondered if he had more words prepared that he simply couldn’t get out. Based on the speed of his leg bouncing under the table, you knew that Patrick was nervous out of his mind—despite him already knowing what your answer was. 

You recalled what Patrick told you in the hospital about not wanting your proposal to be the memory—the memory you told others about when you shared the news, or fondly recalled to your kids in ten years when you reminisced on your love story. 

If accepting his proposal now, and acting like his proposal was the only proposal made him feel better, you didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t fully lean into it.

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, genuinely being surprised at the offer, but playing up your excitement for the sake of your nervous fiancé. “Of course I’ll marry you, Pat.”

Patrick broke into a toothy grin, his excitement contagious to you. “Give me your hand,” he directed, taking the ring out of the box. 

He slipped the ring onto your finger, and it somehow looked even better on your finger than it did in the box. You looked at it in amazement curling and uncurling your hand to look at the ring from all of its angles. 

“It’s gorgeous, Patrick. Thank you,” you told him earnestly as you looked from your hand to him. You weren’t surprised by the quality of the ring or even that he found something that you liked so much. Growing up with lavish gifts constantly being given as an expression of ‘love’ made Patrick pretty damn good at giving you gifts. As for the other expressions of love… he wasn’t the best. But he was very obviously trying his best for you, and you loved that about him. 

In some ways, your proposals felt like the perfect encapsulation of your roles in your relationship. While you offered Patrick a ring with little monetary, but high emotional value, he gave you a ring that was probably more expensive than you could ever fathom, that didn’t have the same emotional ties that your family heirloom of a ring did. 

Beyond the appearance or symbolism behind your rings, and despite your very different proposals, you were ecstatic to be engaged to Patrick. It only felt right that after years of loving the man, you two were finally making things official in the legal sense. 

As you peered at your shyly smiling fiancé, you couldn’t help but break out into a grin yourself. You underestimated just how exciting it would be for you to be starting a new chapter of your relationship. 

[toocabaret]

I’ve been having some Thoughts™️ about the weird meta paradox of gerri kellman’s sexuality. as basically The Older Woman on the executive floor she’s trying as much as is possible to blend in with her male colleagues while also not being perceived to be doing so. muted colours and understated makeup. a competent filing cabinet. her husband is dead and her daughters are nameless. she was sexual once but that’s out of sight out of mind and now it’s just the work. it must be a relief in some ways to become finally unfuckable because you’re over 40. she can finally be taken seriously, but only if she toes the line between being too female and not female enough. trying but not too hard. desirable in the past tense only. an honorary man but still in a skirt. and while the men around her can fuck their much younger assistants and get sports massages and run a sex trafficking ring on a cruise ship, she is the job and only the job and that keeps her safe. for a bit anyway.

the irony of gerri saving the company from the full legal extent of a sex scandal by dating someone from the DOJ??? like i’ll never be over it. even filing cabinets have to flatter and please and fuck when called upon. i genuinely don’t believe any of the other execs could have swung it because they’re not women. she dated laurie (generally unseen unless framed from another man’s possessive perspective) to save the men from going to jail for covering up rape allegations. the irony is delicious. and even though she did that, she’s discarded once she’s framed sexually. Dick Pic Gate was out of her control and yet when confronted with any element of gerri’s sexuality (even her PASSIVE sexuality, even after using it to save his company), logan dismisses her as weak or impractical or failing or whatever other excuse he uses to justify his disgust.

i would argue that roman’s interest in gerri is not in spite of but BECAUSE of her asexual framing. it’s a challenge that he’s never going to win which is ideal for his impotency issues; he can push and push and get the thrill out of it, out of the fucked up power dynamic, but he knows he’ll never have to actually fuck her. it’s all hypothetical: down a phone, through a door, half-joking, covered in sensible skirt suits. gerri’s deliberate lack of sexualizing is counterintuitively a turn-on for roman. and i bet the game of chicken they play is freeing for her too because the fact that she has to be professional and cannot be sensual is part of the fun of it. “roman is weird about gerri”. “it’s fucking disgusting”. not because of their family history, or their professional positions, but because she’s old. because the absence of her sexuality is enough of a presence to be off-putting. shiv patronising her about it as a power play is so weird because she’s talking to her simultaneously like a child and like an old woman, and gerri, agency-less, just has to keep reassuring her “i can cope”.

BUT it’s worse than that because it’s so meta. Because gerri is hot. her actor is attractive and like roman, many people watching find her sexless, no-nonsense framing to be titillating. me included. what if roman likes gerri not because of oedipal issues but just because she’s hot and god forbid we find a woman over 50 hot? but whether or not gerri is hot in the context of the show shouldn’t be a big deal, she should have been able to escape this by now!!! she’s in her 60s she’s a widow she’s tired stop sexualizing her!!! but don’t NOT sexualize her either because that’s problematic too and old women can be hot and old women shouldn’t have to be hot and suddenly i’m making gerri do what waystar does and exist as something sexual and non-sexual at the same time. she has a huge plotline in which she’s essentially a sex object. whether or not gerri is fuckable is talked about as much in the show with mildly-disgusted fascination as it is in the real world!!! she can’t win she’s hot she’s old she’s sexually framed she’s deliberately trying not to be she wants sex she doesn’t want sex she’s covering sex with sex and she’s telling roman to leave her alone so she can just do her damn job because she knows that this is what will bring her down!!! sex scandals historically don’t get men fired but an unsolicited dick pic knocks gerri off her podium in logan’s head forever. even now i’m talking about it at such length because i’ve given it so much thought!!! she’s the only woman in the old guard and she’s one of the most sexualized characters in succession. but only as a joke. in the abstract. never actually. because that would be weird. right?

[richeeduvie]

Can someone please explain to me the whole baby thing? And dog bone au? And all these aus im so confused

DOG AND BONE!AU BASICS

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

This is asked every five months and I'm happy to explain it each time! I'll put it in the pinned post! This is a long one so sorry yall

So Dog and Bone is the title to the AU for a self-insert x Roman Roy fic compilation. There's no actual series yet…sorry, I know! How long has it been? But these fics range from entire one-shots that center around a plot that can lead into another one-shot/drabble, with the content of said piece becoming important to the whole AU, to just cute, fluffy or smutty drabbles and blurbs. Most of them are based on requests. Your request could become a big part of Dog and Bone!

BABY

Baby is the name for the self-insert. Fics will flip from a second person to third person POV, so you'll see her referred to as 'Baby' a lot. I don't consider her an OC because there's no and will never be a physical description of her and to be honest, I only started to referred to her as Baby so I could write third person POV fics when I'm lazy and don't want to go heavy in internal monologue, which is what I do for second person POV fics. I never use 'Y/N' for her or any self-insert. But many see her as other people and not themselves and I love that too!

Personality-wise, you'll find her to Roman's soulmate. Although she is still a victim of being out-of-touch due to her wealth, she's managed to be kind and respectful and just something that Roys don't have outside of her. She's the ultimate nepo baby with Logan just giving her some vague career path at Waystar to keep her around. She mostly works in marketing and spends her days with Tom and Greg. So, the story of DAB (lol). Baby is the childhood best friend of Roman (and Shiv). In the AU, Baby's biological father was Logan's best friend and business associate. She met the Roy family when she was five and when Roman when almost seven. She was meant to be the best friend of Shiv, but Roman stole her one day when Shiv when to get more toys and baby Baby was on the swings. His sister is still pissed about this to this day.

Nothing much has been mentioned of Baby's bio dad just yet, but it was a one-time thing (so understandable is yall don't remember) that we see Logan giving Baby the medal her father gave him after his funeral. He's dead and apparently fought in a war, or maybe just liked collecting medals as much as Logan did.

So, facts about the dead dad:

Maybe was a veteran

Was hinted to have given Baby an eating disorder

Died when she was eight

Possibly kept her away from her mother

Logan's her godfather, but it was Frank to take her in after her dad had passed. Frank ON TOP!!!! PAPA FRANK!!! Baby's mother is very distant and she's really only seen her for a few holidays throughout her childhood. I've always imagined her to be those wealthy hippies feigning spirituality and did maybe try to get Baby in terms of custody, but didn't try a lot - not even after Baby's father died. So, Baby gets to stay with the Roys with Frank being her guardian. With this, it's just co-dependency and possessiveness growing.

Roman and Baby don't really have friends outside of each other. They do everything together and eventually start doing relationship sort of things together. They take each others virginities. Roman gets panicky and painful in the muscles if Baby has to leave him for more than three days. It's great, but nothing's official.

They live this way until Roman gets with Tabitha.

Now, you may be thinking 'Why does he begin a relationship with Tabitha if he's so possessive and seemingly satisfied with the situation he has with Baby?' Well, I have two fics that'll help you to explain Roman's stupidity:

Why Does Rome Still Date Tabitha (They Don’t Have Sex, but Still) Kendall Wins!AU Confession

The latter of the two is a bit more personal and truthful for Roman. It can be noted that as much as I am a GerriRoman supporter, their relationship does not happen in the DogandBone!AU. Only because one, frankly, I don't know how to or have the desire to thread it throughout the story because I already kept Tabitha's plotline…which is Roman's downfall. You will see. And two, you'll find that Roman and all of the Roys, really, have a lot of themselves changed all because they have one genuine friend that's cared and loved them since childhood so that big part of Roman's plotless plot-time in canon is gone here. Grace didn't happen as well because Jesse Armstrong said so lol.

As I said, the genuine friend line applies to all of the Roys (excluding Logan, except for his AU…), but it really applies to Kendall. Going back to the point where Baby and Roman are fourteen/fifteen and fifteen/sixteen, he gets sent away to military school. I made it so he's only there for two years to which Logan just doesn't care to send him there anymore because I want Baby and Roman teenage puppy and needy love for as much as I can get it. During this time, Kendall has this belief, this kindness to take in Baby when she's at her loneliest.

and…so…Kendall and Baby's whole thing?

The link above sums up their whole situation but I'll elaborate a bit more here because there's Tern Haven. Tern Haven happens in the OG!DogandBone!AU and KendallWins!AU, the grooming situation happens in every AU.

Of course, Roman comes back and Baby sobers up for the most part and leaves groomer Kendall's ass in the dust! It's when Roman starts dating Tabitha decades later that Kendall, who never actually made a move on Baby, brings hell and tragedy to the family. Baby's not so keen on continuing to have sex and the weird thing she has with Roman as he is with Tabitha around, so she becomes lonely and thoughtful in the need to reconnect with friends, maybe start dating herself. She's there during Tern Haven and can't go to Roman's room to hang out, Tabitha's there. She doesn't bother Shiv and Tom, she could talk with Frank, maybe? Maybe, but she makes her way to Kendall's room.

And whatever high horse Kendall put himself on for not doing anything with Baby, maybe not being in love with her - or at least having no awareness about it, whatever was starting with Naomi, it's gone when Baby enters that room.

Again, Tern Haven happens in Kendallwins!AU and the OG!AU. The only difference is that after, Roman is either successful in pulling Baby away from Kendall, or he isn't. This is where it can get confusing as it can with all the AUs because there's so many little splices of moments within content that really helps you understand how things happen but I can say that the Kendallwins!AU is just sad, scary, and dark.

But enough of that!

OG!DOGANDBONE!AU

After Roman's successful in getting Kendall away from Baby, he immediately breaks up with Tabitha and they heal from what happened. Kendall declines quickly during this. Logan dies and they get married after the GoJo sale. They have Baby Jr. On occasion, we'll have fun and write them having two more kids, Baby Jr Jr and Roman Jr, but they aren't canon - or they at least would get a canon fic like Baby

FICS TO HELP: Romulus Sneakers | Dad Frank feat. Baby Roman Call Them Brothers Back in Town Bone and Her Heart Roman’s a Friend Stealer While you were sleeping Touch Me (I'm Sick) Date Death | Part One Date Death Part 2 Babied (He Loves It) Violet, Blue, Green, Red To Keep Me Out Phone Call Home Baby Baby in “I went to Market” Baby in ‘Too Much Birthday’ After the GoJo Sale Telling Roman She's Pregnant

BABY JR

Baby Jr is an unrealistically perfect angel of a child that belongs to Roman and Baby in their AU and was born a preemie with a slew of health problems, but because I love her so much, it's becoming a running joke for her to just exist in every AU, somehow. if Baby's there, Baby Jr's there. She's named fittingly. You'll see her a lot in smaller blurbs and fics. Another running joke is that she hates Kendall in every AU, though she's barely mentioned outside of the OG! and Loganwins!AU.

JUST MY FAVORITE BABY JR FICS:

Baby Baby's First and Last Day at School Bear Baby Jr! Baby Jr Doing Something Dangerous Connor Taking Baby Jr Fishing Baby Jr seeing Baby Roman with Glasses

VARIATIONS OF THE OG!AU

They aren't mentioned a lot anymore because we don't get so serious about them and it was more just to have fun with the story, but the OG!AU does have some variations to how the plot goes. You have Baby and Roman having Baby Jr before season one where Tabitha and Tern Haven are things that obviously never happened:

If Roman Knocked Baby Up Logan Bullying Baby Jr YoungBornBabyJr!AU With Roman Forcing Baby to Marry Him Roman Drunk and Loving If Roman Knocked Baby Up in Their 20s If Baby Jr was Little in The Pilot Logan’s Baby Jr Favoritism Where’s Your Daughter?

Then, you have Baby dying and Roman killing himself to leave Baby Jr an orphan: Come Time, Baby Jr Missing Mommy.

Or you have Baby AND Baby Jr dying to leave Roman killing himself after his last moments of suffering…which, I can't find, but do we really want to read that?

If you don't want to suffer, it can end simply as a nightmare Roman had in the night. Here's another Nightmare Blurb.

LOGANWINS!AU

Listen. I CANNOT be the only person who has consistently written for Logan. I CANNOT! But I do and Baby is unfortunately the victim of a joke turned into a horniness for an old, old man.

Logan doesn't actually have a fic establishing the Loganwins!AU. Everything that's longer than a blurb are moments that already take place after they've gotten together. Tern Haven does not take place here because it appears that this…intimate relationship takes place before season one. Roman doesn't get together with Tabitha in this AU because he's really fucked up about his soulmate having sex and marriage with his…Dad. His abusive Dad. Baby Jr does exist here! This started as a joke to get people grossed out over old man Logan cock, I played it so I was DISGUSTED to appease any requests that were sent in. I really was. I don't know what happened. But a lot of what is written expands past Logan x Reader and more about the AU itself, which happens with Kendallwins! and the OG!AU too.

FICS TO HELP: THE OFFICE CONFRONTATION Mondale The Second Baseball Sick Baby Jr Mom(my) Siblings and Baby Jr Buzz off! Sister Shiv Recital Alone Baby Jr How Does The Relationship Begin? How Does Logan Propose? Are Baby and Roman Still Close? Pregnancy Announcement in the AU They Bought a Cat Who's Baby Jr's Godfather? Panty Stealer Roman's Twitter Argument

You guys are lucky I can't find the smut fic I wrote. But it's here on this blog. Somewhere.

Nvm here it is my bad: Reflections.

AFFAIR!AU

There's the Loganwins!AU, then there's the Affair!AU, which was established pretty recently. It's where Baby begins an affair with Roman while she's married to Logan and Baby Jr ends up being Roman's daughter, not his little sister. As much as I have accepted my great enjoyment in indulging the Logan lovers, I do think this is Baby at her most Succession.

She gets the benefits of being Logan's wife and his favorite wife, a cute daughter, Roman at her heel, whining for her to really be with him but knowing he'll never leave her at her denial. She's horrible, a whore. A baddie winning.

FICS TO HELP: Baby Jr being Roman's Daughter Roman and Newborn Baby Jr Baby in the Affair!AU Roman revealing she's his to his siblings "Dada" A Slight Confrontation How does it start? In Dad's Bed

GROOMING SITUATION (OG!AU and KENDALLWINS!AU)

So, I explained most of it above, but these are the fics to help understand just how messed up DogandBone!Kendall is. He's a different man, guys.

(Also Stewy was there. Stewy was her friend. A flawed twenty-something year old who didn't care enough to separate himself from Kendall when noticing the red flags of him and Baby, but he denied, denied, denied. But he also gave Baby some sense of being…ya know, a kid…cause he saw her as a CHILD)

Tern Haven:

Tern Haven EXTENDED TERN HAVEN More of Tern Haven (…Yay…)

Ken's Groomer Era:

Sleepover Drugged Up Heart Does Baby go Clubbing With Kendall? The Birthday (Big One) Kendall being Confused That Baby's Not Jealous More of Ken being Confused That Baby's Not Jealous Sleepover 2 Kendall's Birthday Gifts....

The Aftermath:

Smacktalking During Too Much Birthday Bad Bit

There's more, of course. There's always more.

KENDALLWINS!AU

After Tern Haven, Kendall has Baby. He's won Baby. He gets more addicted to drugs while making her dependent on them. He turns her into nothing - and just for him. He's scary and paranoid when it comes to Roman. A variation of the AU would be the Babydies!AU, where she accidently overdoses after he leaves her alone. It's a lot. This is not a fun AU, guys. But I like to write it!

FICS TO HELP:

Housewife Thing Waystar Press Conference Accusing Baby Jr of Not Being His Roman Trying to Get Baby Back From Kendall A Slight, Brotherly Confrontation Daily Does of Horror (Heroin) Mention of Heroin Handsy Baby and Kendall and Pills Panty Stealer Brother Roman's Dick Pics Saying Roman's Name Flower Delivery

THE OD FICS:

No Time Needled Memories

NOW....

SHIV'S AU

Shiv's AU isn't even a win!AU, technically. We haven't really dabbled in the idea of her winning. Just more of her yearning, but all in all, this woman wants Baby soooo badly. Too sad she has the guilt of being a woman. And her father. And Tom. And the denial hot on her skin.

Calling Shiv Shiv

TOM'S AU

Apparently the man can get obsessed and they haven't even kissed in his AU, yet. Fitting considering the shit he pulls with Greg. It's Baby at her most guilty due to her friendship with Shiv.

KARL'S AU

No.

STEWY'S AU

I give crumbs and only crumbs. But we're getting something started with Wedding Bells (Part One)!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

I hope this helps! xoxo

[writeforfandoms]

Love Letters

Find my Halo masterlist

This is just a fun little gift for/brainrot with my lovely @chaoticgeminate​ who helped me plan out the idea and cheered me on. Love you darling! 💖

You never intended to actually admit your feelings to Master Chief. But your supervisor meddled, he knows, and you might be having anxiety. A silly cute one shot about developing feelings.

John-117/Master Chief x f!reader

Warnings: swearing, mild implied violence, tooth rotting fluff, Blue Team Supremacy

Word count: 5.7k

“You did what?!” You stared at your supervisor with horrified eyes, hands gripping the edge of your console too tight.

“I delivered that letter.” Your supervisor, Melinda, was a good supervisor. She ran a tight group. She was also a troublemaker who meddled and had a secret romantic side. 

Which she had apparently used to send a letter that was never actually meant to be sent!

“Why?” You couldn’t keep the weight of despair out of your voice, half-pleading for her to be pranking you.

Melinda shrugged. “It was a nice letter. Very sweet. If nothing else, he deserves to know.”

“No! He was never meant to know!” You pried your hands off the metal and debated the merits of strangling Melinda. Pro: they’d court martial you so you would never have to face Master Chief. Con: you’d end up on a work colony planet and probably get shivved within days. 

Fine, no strangling Melinda. Yet. 

“Why not? I think your crush is adorable.” Melinda smirked in that particularly infuriating way she had. 

You made a wordless noise of protest and despair, letting your head fall to your station with a little thunk.

“Go walk it off,” Melinda told you, slapping your back. (Ow.) “Take a break. That’s not a suggestion.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You sighed and stood as she walked away, trudging away from your station. Not that you had anywhere in particular in mind to go. The ship was not small, after all. But you had been told to walk it off, so… Walking it was. 

At least until you rounded a corner and damn near ran into a very familiar armored individual. All you had to do was spot that particular shade of green and you damn near jumped out of the way.

“Sorry, sir!” Okay, so maybe you squeaked a bit, but. Really. You could not be blamed. Your heart couldn’t take this kind of stress, especially not with the stunt Melinda pulled earlier.

But Master Chief just nodded to you and continued on his way. Only once he was out of sight did you deflate with a whoosh, leaning back against the wall. 

Okay. Either he hadn’t read the letter, or he hadn’t gotten it yet, or he had read it but was just ignoring you. What if you’d made him uncomfortable? What if he didn’t even know how to respond and you just fucked things up?

You groaned and covered your face with your hands. You were never going to recover from this disaster. 

–

There was a letter on his floor. An actual, physical letter. Hardly anyone used those anymore - he’d used a notepad maybe a handful of times to take notes. (And once as a distraction. It made a lot of noise and left some very confused Unggoy.) 

Point being, John was fairly certain he’d never received a physical letter in his life. But the envelope said “Master Chief” on the outside. And it had been left in his room.

He sat at the desk and opened it, fingers working carefully at the envelope to get the paper out. 

The first thing he noticed was the handwriting. A little curly, a little scratched, it was almost… endearing. 

And then he actually read the letter. 

And stopped.

John was aware that some people found him attractive. While it wasn’t something he had ever encouraged or discouraged, not really, it wasn’t something he entirely understood, either. It was very rare that he thought of people in terms of attraction. 

But this… This was not that. Not quite. This was far more emotional. In fact, the writer admitted to having not seen him without the helmet. 

This was not physical attraction. This was something different. 

He had no idea what to do with it.

For now, he folded it up and carefully tucked it away in his desk. Using every privacy protocol he knew of, he went into the database to search for reference material. 

Half of which were old movies and shows revolving around the sending and receiving of these letters, usually with comedic or dramatic aspects.

John would never, ever admit to having watched one of them. It’s not like he needed a lot of sleep anyway. 

But he was still at a loss as to what to do. Did he write back? Did he find this person and talk to them face to face? The sources available to him were… unclear on proper protocol. 

His Spartans, he knew, would be no help with this. For various reasons. Not least of which being that they’d tease the hell out of him. So, alternate sources needed.

(And he couldn’t help the flash of pain at the thought that Cortana would have an answer, she’d find an answer for him, she always had answers–)

Captain Lasky had proven himself trustworthy and discreet. While not John’s first choice, he would do if further research yielded no results. 

With a sigh, John closed everything down for the night. He needed sleep. At least a little sleep. Not sleeping led to being forced to take downtime, which was… a bad thing. A very bad thing. 

He laid down and stared up at the ceiling, systematically going through his body and making sure there were no noteworthy aches. Then he closed his eyes.

The last conscious thought he had was that he liked your handwriting. 

–

John purposely waited until after his next mission to bring up the letter. He had already decided this was a conversation he needed to have with the helmet on. 

So, after debrief, instead of taking Lasky’s usual dismissal, John shifted his weight. “There is one more thing.”

Lasky looked up at him with a faint, concerned frown. “Speak freely, Chief.” 

“A Spartan received a letter.” John spoke slowly, weighing each word. He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to reveal the whole situation just yet. “Of a… personal nature.”

Lasky grimaced. “If someone needs to be spoken to–”

“No.” John tipped his head to the side. “It wasn’t a bad letter.” 

Lasky blinked, caught off guard, and nodded slowly. “Then what is the concern of this Spartan?” 

This would be the hard part. John stuck to the same tactic, in hopes it worked. “None of us are aware of proper protocols for responding to such letters, Captain.” 

Lasky was completely silent for a long moment. And then he lifted one hand to rub his forehead, muttering to himself. (John knew he wouldn’t have been able to hear without his enhanced hearing.) “I am not equipped to handle this talk…” Lasky drew in a deep breath and looked back up at John. “Let me see if I have this right. A Spartan received a personal letter, but not an inappropriate one. I’m guessing a love letter or a confession letter of some kind. And… you want to know how to respond.”

“Correct, sir.” John didn’t move.

Lasky sighed. “Well. There are a couple ways to respond, I suppose, depending on how the Spartan in question feels. If they’re uncomfortable, they can ignore the letter or turn the person down. Or if the… feelings are accepted, they can write a return letter or tell this person face to face.” 

“What would the contents of a return letter be?” John frowned, yet again glad the helmet was concealing his expression.

Lasky looked like he would rather be doing anything else. “That’s up to the person writing. Granted, letters haven’t been common for centuries, but… Stating your own feelings is pretty typical, or inviting the person to continue writing. Some people find it easier to write their feelings than say them out loud.” 

John turned this new information over in his mind before he nodded once. “Understood. Thank you, sir.”

“Chief?”

John paused, half-turned away from the captain, and tipped his head back that direction.

“Let me know if this becomes a problem. Otherwise, I’ll assume all is well and I will not go looking for more paperwork.”

John nodded his understanding of that and left. He was scheduled to get out of the armor now and have some time to fuel and sleep. 

But maybe… 

Stepping into the Brokkr to get the armor removed was second nature by now, and John barely paid attention to the machinery whirring around him. He was instead still puzzling over the letter in his mind. 

Lasky’s explanation had been sufficient for him to move forward. 

Walking around the ship without armor always left John feeling exposed. He was so used to being in the armor, being a soldier, that being without was… odd. Fortunately, it happened infrequently enough that he still had some anonymity - although it was clear he was a Spartan, most of the crew didn’t equate him to the Master Chief outside of his armor. And that was just fine with him. 

The mess was busy when he entered, but nobody bothered him as he took a tray, gathered food, and sat at an empty table well off to the side. Just as he preferred.

He spotted you sitting at a table not too far away, datapad in front of you, tray forgotten to one side. He watched as your brow furrowed, as you hunched closer to the screen as if that would help you, as you scrolled through whatever you were reading with just the very tip of your tongue poking between your lips. 

He’d never spoken to you, but he had looked you up after reading the letter. Clean service record, glowing compliments from multiple supervisors. You’d been in communications your entire career, and you were, by all accounts, good at it. 

Despite the clear fluster you’d shown that day you’d run into him. 

He tipped his head to the side a little, watching you mutter under your breath as you did… something on the datapad. You were… different. Cute, maybe. He didn’t have much of a frame of reference for cute. Or attractive. 

When you finally looked up from your datapad, John was carefully not watching you. You seemed totally oblivious to having been observed for the better part of five minutes, and started eating with half your attention. 

Depositing his tray after he was done, John made his way back to his room. He knew how he needed to proceed.

–

You weren’t paying attention as you walked back to your bunk, which was… not unusual. You shared with three others, and you all had rotating schedules, so you could usually get at least a little time to yourself. 

But the crinkle of something underfoot when you stepped into your bunk was new. Frowning, you looked down.

There was a letter. On the floor. Partially under your foot.

Heart suddenly racing into overtime, you bent to pick it up. It was addressed to you in unfamiliar, blocky handwriting. This did not help your pulse at all, which was still thrumming hard and fast. 

Double checking that you were alone, you dropped down to sit on your bed and opened the envelope with shaking fingers. 

The letter was short, and for a moment your gaze caught on the name at the end. 

John. John. 

…Wait. John-117. Master Chief. 

You were definitely going to murder Melinda. 

Your letter was very kind, if unexpected. I've never received a letter like this before, and was uncertain how to respond. 

I don't know you, but I would like to, time permitting. If you would like to remain discreet, further letters would be welcome. I am also open to suggestions. 

Regards,

You stared at the letter unblinkingly for several moments. He… hadn't turned you down. He hadn't said no. 

He'd… said yes? 

You carefully put the letter back away. Put your face in your hands. And squealed. 

Okay. Maybe you wouldn't kill Melinda, after all. 

But wait. Now you had to decide what to do! Tipping over sideways, you hid your face in your pillow and shrieked. Just a little bit. (The walls weren't that thick, after all.) 

…Wait. Now you had to figure out how to reply. 

You were so fucked. 

–

It took you three days to write a return letter to him. Partially because you had to figure out how to say what you wanted to say (and you definitely ended up scrapping two pieces of paper). Partially because work required actual focus, and you couldn’t always goof off. And partially just because it took you a bit to gather your nerves. 

You’d never really intended to confess your feelings to Chief. To John. You were still figuring out how you felt about having been outed, more or less. 

Finally, though, you gave up and just wrote the damn thing. It was late, you were mildly sleep deprived and running on a bit of liquid courage. 

John,

I hope you don’t mind if I call you John now. I have one more confession to make. 

I wrote the letter, yes, but I never actually sent it. I’m… a little intimidated now that you know. I really hope I haven’t overstepped. 

But I would really like to get to know you. Whatever way you’re comfortable with, really. Letters are good with me. Honestly, they’re probably more coherent. I can ramble on for a long time if nobody stops me in person, my supervisor teases me about it sometimes. 

I work in Communications, so my shifts tend to be pretty predictable. I’ve got the early shift at the moment - 0600 to 1500. It’s not bad, really, but it does mean I tend to go to bed early. I rarely have plans after my shifts. Although I do like to wander the ship. I have definitely gone into areas I was not supposed to. It’s kinda fun. 

Alright, maybe I can ramble on paper just as well as I can in person. 

I know your schedule tends to be a little unpredictable, so I guess just let me know if you want to do anything? Or we can stick to letters. Whatever you’re comfortable with. 

Sincerely,

You didn’t let you second guess yourself, folding the letter and sealing the envelope. You stood, ready to go deliver it right then.

And realized you actually had no idea where his quarters were.

You stood there, stumped, momentary panic flashing through you. This was a terrible idea. 

Your datapad chimed, and you set the letter down to check your datapad instead. 

You haven’t given me an update on your letter to Chief! Did he ever respond? If you need to go bug him, all the Spartans are on S-deck. He’s in 117, of course. Just walk like you belong and nobody will bother you. Have fun! :D 

Sometimes you were really tempted to kill Melinda… but she had her uses. 

One more deep breath to settle your nerves and you started for the nearest elevator, letter shoved into your pocket so you wouldn’t fiddle with it. Fortunately, there were plenty of directional signs on the ship. Which made sense, considering the size of the bloody thing. 

It also suited you well in finding S-deck. 

The elevator opened onto S-deck, and you stepped out cautiously. But nobody was around, not right then. Swallowing, you took a quick look around before you started walking. The first fork you came to was fortunately labeled: quarters to the left, rec room and gym to the right. You could hear activity from the right, but fortunately you needed to go left anyway. 

The doors were all clearly labeled. Some few had actual personality on the outside - one person had attached some stickers to the outside of the door, while another had painted the numbers green. 

Room 117 was in a little ways, but you found it. The door was plain, unadorned. You had no idea if he was in there or not. 

But this was enough bravery for one day. You crouched and pushed the letter under his doorway, making sure it was all the way through and couldn’t be seen from outside the door. 

Then you turned and very calmly fled. 

(You didn’t even notice a Spartan further down the hall, eyes narrowed and focused on you. You turned a corner and vanished from sight, and the speculative gaze turned to Chief’s door instead. Hmm.) 

–

John didn’t outwardly react as Linda fell into step next to him. She’d speak her piece in her own time, there was no point in rushing her. 

“Did you know you got a letter, Chief?” 

John didn’t break stride. But only through sheer force of habit. “I was unaware.” Which was true - he hadn’t been back to his quarters yet. But he had kind of hoped that he would find a letter. 

“But you’re not surprised.”

Damn. He had hoped she wouldn’t pick up on that. The alternative was worse, so John just didn’t answer. 

“John.”

“Linda.” 

She didn’t huff, didn’t demand. Just kept steady pace with him. Metaphorically wearing him down. 

Although, if he really wanted to be stubborn, that could take a long time. 

John made the turn down to his quarters, weighing pros and cons. Then he nodded once and hit the button to unlock his door.

Sure enough, there was a letter just inside the door. He picked it up and then stepped out of the way, inviting Linda in with nothing more than a tilt of his head. She stepped through after him. 

“This is the second letter I’ve received.” John tucked the letter, unread, into his desk. He would not be reading it with company present.

“Who from?”

“Does it matter?” 

“Nobody uses letters anymore.” Her head tilt was all curiosity. And when Linda was actually curious about something, she dug until she got what she wanted. 

There were a few different ways he could handle this. He could pull rank and tell her to back off. And she would. But it would not be graceful. That was his least favorite option, honestly. Any of his Spartans deserved better from him. 

So he chose a variation of the truth. 

“It’s personal.”

“Someone wrote you a personal letter.” The surprise coloring her tone was very faint, but there. 

“Yes.”

“And you’re aware who it is.”

“Yes.” John didn’t move, watching her closely. 

The two remained locked in a stalemate for a full minute, completely silent. Linda wasn’t willing to back down entirely. John wasn’t willing to give her more information just to assuage her curiosity. 

Then Linda smirked, a faint tick of her lips, an expression that had John instantly on guard. “I’m sure it will be easy to find her name,” she murmured. “I’ll recognize her when I see her again.”

Shit. If Linda had seen you leaving the letter, then she would find you again. It would just be a matter of time. 

And, intended or not, Linda could be… intense. They all could. John knew that, he’d seen the way the crew sometimes eyed them, unsure how to interact. 

But he didn’t want Linda scaring you, even inadvertently. So he made a concession. 

“You do not approach her about this. You do not investigate her.” He stared her down, waiting until she nodded her agreement to continue. Then he gave her your name. 

Linda nodded once. “What is your end goal here?” 

John shrugged, a tiny movement that nonetheless conveyed everything it needed to. Linda frowned a tiny bit, almost disapproving, before she released her breath in her version of a laugh. 

“Don’t do anything foolish, John.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he drawled, completely dry. 

Linda shook her head, just a little, and bumped her shoulder into his as she walked back out of his room. 

John finally sat at his desk, pulling the letter out. Your handwriting was still a little chaotic, moreso than last time. As if you’d been writing in a hurry. He read the letter quickly the first time and then slowed, reading it again. Unbidden, his lips quirked. 

Well. Your rambling, as you called it, was not anything that bothered John. If anything, he found it endearing. 

Maybe he should mention that? Would it help to put you at ease? 

Shaking his head a little at himself, John debated how to answer. 

–

“Is that her?” 

A tiny nod. 

A single grunt. Keen eyes observed every movement, every flicker of emotion. 

“She’s soft.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

Another grunt, quiet, contemplative. 

It wasn’t until their quarry moved that they did. 

“Think this will work?”

A soft sound, almost a laugh. “Chief is stubborn.”

A huff of acknowledgement. Really, that was all that needed to be said. 

–

You groaned softly as you walked down a hallway, rolling your shoulders. It had been a long shift fighting with some misaligned repeaters. Coordinating with Engineering was always a pain, and today had been somehow even more aggravating than normal. Your shoulders ached with lingering tension, and you didn’t want to deal with people yet.

So, wandering the ship it was. You may have sneaked through a Jeffries tube to get two decks down without having to take the elevator. Look, nobody caught you at it, it was fine. 

You weren’t even sure where you were going, but it felt good to just… go. Especially when you stuck to quieter corridors and less populated areas. 

You’d find your way back. You always did. Not like you could get that far, after all. 

Coming to a crossroads (and signposts), you blinked when you realized you were almost to the aft observatory. Well. That was… something. Huffing a little at yourself, you continued down that hallway, stepping quietly into the observatory. 

It was empty, and you breathed out a little sigh of relief, sinking down to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of one of the floor-to-ceiling viewports. The quiet and the calm helped, your shoulders easing down into a more relaxed position. 

The door opened behind you and your heart plummeted. Maybe they’d leave. Or at least leave you alone. The floor shook a little under heavy, even footsteps, stopping next to you. You looked up… and up… and up, finally into a golden visor. You blinked, caught completely off guard.

“May I?” His voice was low and deep and calm, soothing to your nerves. Somehow.

“Oh! Sure! There are benches if you prefer.” You shrugged, a little bashful, still staring up at him. 

He merely lowered himself to the floor next to you, surprisingly dexterous for a man wearing nearly half a ton of armor. (Not that you’d gone and looked up all the information you could get your grubby little mitts on about the Mjolnir armor.) 

“Did you know I was here?” You tipped your head to look up at him, curious more than anything. 

His head dipped in a nod, a little hesitant. 

“Huh.” You blinked and then ducked your head. “You didn’t have to come all the way down here for me,” you murmured, warm, heart fluttering in your chest.

“I wanted to.” Still that even tone, matter of fact. But still soothing. 

You nodded, peeking up at him again. He had shifted the tiniest bit, arms braced on his thighs, helmet forward again. Giving you space, you realized with a warm swell of startled affection. 

“I think this is only the third time I’ve been here,” you started slowly, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. His head tipped, indicating he was listening. “The first time was an accident. I couldn’t sleep, just got switched from the overnight shift to first shift.” You paused to chuckle. “Had a few very blurry days before I adjusted, that was awful. But I was wandering around, must’ve been after midnight, and kind of blindly stumbled in here. It was so quiet - just the air filtration system, really. I sat down, figuring I’d do a bit of reading, and woke up with an awful crick in my neck and my alarm going off. Had to book it back up to communications.”

His shoulders bounced once in what might have been a laugh. 

“Can I…?” You looked more fully at him, a little shy, a little hesitant. “Do you want me to tell you more?”

He nodded. “Whatever you can share.” 

“You’re going to regret that one day,” you warned him with a little laugh. “I told you I can ramble.”

“I don’t mind.” He didn’t move, still relaxed, still waiting on you.

So you started telling him about another one of your rambles. 

“...and I really wasn’t planning on going all the way to the hangers,” you told him, trying (and failing) to hide your mirth. “Especially not from the ceiling.” 

“The Jeffries actually opened into the hanger?” He sounded… something. Dismayed? Disgusted? Something. 

“Apparently, they weren’t supposed to.” You paused. “But that one definitely did. Spent a few minutes clinging to the ladder inside the tube. There was a lot of panicked shouting. They eventually got out a ladder that reached and got me down. The whole tube had to be closed for maintenance for four days before they found the malfunction. After Captain Lasky gave me the dressing down of my life, he grudgingly admitted it was a good thing I found that malfunction before it became a problem.” 

John’s chest practically vibrated, his chuckle so quiet you could barely hear it. “That was you?”

“Oh god, you’ve heard of that?” You dropped your head, hiding behind your hands, though you were laughing. “How’d you know?”

“Roland almost asked me to go, decided on a Spartan-IV instead.”

You giggle-snorted, covering your eyes. “They were debating the merits of sending someone up with a jetpack to grab me until one of the Pelican mechanics found the ladder.” You paused purely for effect, peeking up at him between your fingers. “I never managed to tell them I’m afraid of heights.” 

That time you heard the chuckle, low and rumbling and wonderful. You hid your face again until you could contain your own laughter. 

Finally, though, you checked the time, dismayed to see how late it had gotten. (Well. Late for you, because you were the most boring person on this entire ship.) 

“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?” You twisted your fingers together, peering up at him, caught between worry and hope. 

“No.” He shifted, facing you a little more directly. But still giving you space. Still giving you time. 

“Okay.” You paused, chewing on your lower lip. “Have you eaten?” 

He shook his head, silent, watchful. 

“Do you want to?” You were quick to continue as the implications of what you’d just asked caught up with you. “We don’t have to, of course, or another time, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

He paused and then his head jerked around to the doorway. “Later,” he said, getting to his feet with a fluid grace you frankly envied. But his hand reached back down to you, helping you to your feet like you weighed nothing. (To a Spartan, you didn’t.) 

“Okay.” You weren’t going to push. Not about anything, really, but definitely not about this.

“Lasky’s calling Blue Team.” He offered the explanation without prompting.

Something in your chest relaxed, some anxiety you hadn’t even named. “I hope you won’t be late.”

“I won’t.” He sounded so easily confident, like he could bend the universe around him to his will. You half-believed he could. “Here.” He held out a letter to you. Where it had come from, you had no idea, but you took it with barely trembling fingers. 

“I’ll see you soon?” You tried to keep the hope out of your voice. You failed. 

He nodded once to you before he turned and strode out of the room, quick and purposeful. You stood frozen until the door closed behind him. 

(Outside the door, the rest of Blue Team fearlessly faced down John, having kept everyone else away from the room so he could have his time. His head dipped, the barest amount, in recognition and thanks. They fell in behind him to make their way to Lasky. No words were needed.) 

–

That meeting seemed to have signaled some kind of break in the ice between you and John. He found you more often than not after your shifts. Sometimes you two walked and talked. Sometimes you found a place to sit - the aft observatory became a favorite with you two. Sometimes you even had a meal together, although those times were more rare. John was still shy about being with you without the armor.

That was okay. He could take as much time as he wanted. You weren’t actually trying to jump him. You genuinely liked his company, no matter what he was wearing. 

(When you told him so, quietly, one night while the two of you had a late snack in the observatory, his cheeks went pink and he ducked his head. But he also bundled you up into a hug before he left, which was warm and firm and the absolute best thing ever.) 

And you may not have been the smartest person on board, or the most observant, but even you couldn’t miss the way the rest of Blue Team hung around. You made sure to wave at them any time you saw them. Not that you got a response out of them, most of the time, but still. You liked them. 

Especially after Kelly grabbed a letter from you as you were taking it to John’s room and bolted away. You found out later that John had been sent on an unexpected mission, and Kelly had just gotten the letter to him before he’d gotten in the Pelican. 

You kind of assumed that meant they liked you, too. 

But it wasn’t all good all the time. 

While John was gone on this super secret mission, comms went down to most of the rest of the universe. Meaning a pileup of crew who had messages they wanted to send home who couldn’t. 

And it was nobody’s fault. But somehow you were blamed (and the rest of the communications staff). The whole department was working around the clock to get it fixed, but it looked like the problem wasn’t even with the Infinity, but with a relay elsewhere in space. 

Meaning there was quite literally nothing you could do. 

But a handful of ODSTs didn’t like that answer. 

“I got people to talk to back home,” one of them, the ringleader of their little group, grumbled at you. He was taller than you, using his height to try to tower over you. (That might have worked a few months ago, but now? Not a chance. John had inadvertently seen to that.) 

“I told you, there’s nothing I can do,” you insisted. But you took a step back, hoping you could escape to the mess or somewhere else populated. “The problem isn’t on the ship, and we’re not headed towards the relay to fix it.”

“Yeah? Why not? You think it’s okay to just make us wait?” The ringleader took a step closer to you. 

“That’s not–of course not!” You puffed up as much as you could. Which was… not a lot. “You think we don’t have family, too?” 

“I don’t think you do,” one of the others jeered, just to be cruel. 

But the remark still landed, and you still flinched. The other two drew in closer, like wolves scenting blood. 

“Seriously,” you tried again, pushing your shoulders down and back, “if you have a problem with the outage, talk to my CO. She’ll tell you the same thing I did. There’s nothing we can do until another ship gets to the relay.” You did your very best to glare them down. 

Either your glaring skills had improved or they got tired of taunting you, because one of them nudged the ringleader, and they all backed off in a hurry. Actually, it looked like they scrambled away from you. Which was… confusing. But. Hey! It worked! 

Turning, you hummed as you continued on to the mess. You really needed food now. 

(Behind you, Fred let out a slow breath from where he’d stepped behind some machinery to get out of your line of sight, after scaring off the ODSTs. That had been close. Too close. He made a mental note to talk to Linda and Kelly about assigning you a permanent shadow until this communications issue was cleared up, or Chief got back. You had the self-preservation instincts of a lemming.) 

–

The first thing John wanted to do after debrief was find you. But he took the time to get de-armored first, carefully not fidgeting through the process. He got dressed and was out in record time, completely ignoring the armor techs. 

He had missed you during this last mission. And that was… new. And odd. Not unacceptable, because he had felt this ache before. But it still scared him, a little, this need to see you. To be near you.

But for once, he went with it, rather than fighting it. Even though it had been a long time by now, Cortana’s words about one of them being more human than machine still rang in his mind. 

He was finally making the decision to be more human. 

He found you in the aft observatory, Kelly standing guard by the door. He nodded to her, and her return nod was easy. Good. No issues worth mentioning, then. 

The door opened and he stepped inside, finding you immediately. You were sitting with your knees up near your chest, arms loose around your legs. You looked… sad. Lonely. 

He could fix that. 

John didn’t say a word as he strode over to you, not even returning your sputtered greeting as he sat behind you. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your back flush to his chest so he could curl himself around you as much as physically possible. He could feel your heart beating hard, could hear your stuttered breath. But you relaxed into his hold almost immediately, curling one hand around his. John breathed out slowly, steadily. 

For now, this was enough. He would need to explain more to you later. Maybe in a letter if he couldn’t get himself to speak the words. 

But for now? This was all he wanted. You, safe and warm and protected in his arms, the tension leaving the both of you. He tucked his head down into the crook of your neck, listening to your heart steady out. 

Yes. This was enough. 

[chaithetics]

I was rewatching season 1(because of...reasons) and imagine if Stewy and Yn were hiding their relationship and her mom came to ask how long would Shiv and Toms wedding last and the reason he gave that answer was because everyone was making fun of her because she "didn't bring a date", also when they're taking pictures and they take one with the siblings and their dates she's alone and he's heart eyes for her the entire time and when they FINALLY have some time alone, in a very unStewy way she asks him what he's thinking and he says "por wedding will be so much better than this one" just as Sophie and Iverson are running and says "and our kids will be cuter. Obviously"😍what do you say?

Covert Conversations

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) Reader

Word count: 3.7K

Author's note: Thank you for this request Nonnie! When I saw it in my notes I was immediately inspired and so this one happened so quickly! I really hope you like it, please do let me know your thoughts Nonnie whether that's in the ask box or a PM! I hope you all enjoy this and this helps the void of Succession Sunday! Please let me know what you think, comments, reblogs are appreciated and I love hearing your thoughts (I live for validation also lol) and interacting with you. What a lovely community we have here! Was this proofread? No, of course not! You know how it is around here haha

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established/secret relationship, Caroline Collingwood being awful (there is a comment from Caroline about weight gain), Roy siblings not being the nicest (mainly Shiv), some fluff.

Others could and would easily point out the plethora of differences between you and your siblings but there was something important that you all had in common. You never enjoyed being in your mother’s motherland. 

You had a very low-contact relationship with Caroline, which was for the better. The climate here was painfully dreary and you couldn’t imagine ever wanting to get married here, let alone agreeing to it. You were glad that you were at least assertive and confident enough with strong enough boundaries to know that if you were in your elder sister’s position you wouldn’t have ended up people pleasing into this. 

The weather was miserable and the way that the coldness of the country and its inhabitants had oozed itself into every wall and surface as a constant reminder of the dynamic realities and the history locked into them. 

It was the day before Tom and Shiv’s wedding, you were heading over to the church for the rehearsal. You were already severely uncomfortable. There were so many people and it was overwhelming, especially when knowing your mother’s criticisms were just around the corner at all times. 

You also knew you’d be constantly having to swerve around questions about your personal life. You were used to questions and odd looks because of your lack of involvement and interest in Waystar and you usually easily dismissed questions about your romantic life if they ever came up. 

It was a bit more difficult to do the latter though when at your older sister’s wedding, being constantly asked and of course the fact that you stood out. You stood out like a sore thumb as you were the only Roy who hadn’t brought a date and didn’t have a public partner to show off or criticise. Technically Kendall hadn’t brought a date but he had Rava and everybody accepted that due to the complicated nature of their situation. 

Caroline Collingwood was standing outside of the church entrance with your brother and his date Tabitha. You couldn’t see the bride and groom or any of your other siblings. You were hoping that more of them would be there so that you could blend in more and not have as much of an interaction with your mother but it was too late now. 

“Oh hello, darling.” Caroline said as she saw you come over, she was clearly looking at you in the way she did to inspect any flaws, to find any and all chinks in your armour. 

“Hi, mom.” You softly say as you look at her face, she gives you a small hug and inspects your face as he does. 

“Where’s your date? Did you not bring a date…? Don’t tell me you didn’t?!” She asks, there’s a horrified tinge in her voice that’s very thinly veiled in her usual playfully passive-aggressive air. 

“Now, why would I bring someone here to the dreary English countryside and then to even more traumatisingly, meet Roman?” You quipped back. 

Roman scoffed at that and Caroline looked at you, visibly disappointed and sighed. 

“There’s no need to be like that darling, I was simply asking and your brother is lovely.”

“Hear that Rome? You’re lovely!” You say to your brother who quickly flips the bird at you and then goes back to giving his attention to Tabitha. 

You can hear Kendall, Shiv and Tom starting to come over and you make a silent prayer to whatever deity there is that brought them over. But your mother quickly brings you back to your surroundings as she places a hand on your shoulder and studies you more. 

“Have you…?” She questions, you know what she’s asking and roll your eyes sighing. 

“Yes, Mom, I think I’ve gained a few kilos since you last saw me.” You say it bluntly and start to move out of her grasp. 

“I was just asking… your face looks a bit fuller… Gosh, all that therapy has really made you quite defensive!” As she speaks in her native tongue of motherly dismiss and gaslight she finishes with a laugh looking at Roman and Tabitha. Providing them with the cue she hopes they’ll take to join her. 

“Is Connor inside?” You quickly ask, cutting off this discussion from going any further in your presence as you look at Roman. He was the softest and most patient of your siblings with your mother. Feeling uncomfortably antsy, you end up walking off before he has the chance to decide whether he’ll laugh at you with Caroline or if he’ll answer you. 

As you begin to walk off you hear your mother immediately say something about the fact that you’d showed up dateless, which seems to annoy Shiv. She had assumed you’d at least find someone to even numbers up and help balance out photos. 

You roll your eyes at the conversation as you continue to walk into the chapel, further away from it following Connor’s voice. 

“Jesus Christ, Connor.” You say as you see him, he completely and immediately understands. Of course, he does, you knew he would. 

“I don’t think you can say that in here?” He responds as he quickly gives you a hug which you return and then you move to hug Willa. 

“I know she’s my mom-” You start before he finishes it off for you. 

“But she’s the Wicked Witch of the West?” Connor responds as Willa’s eyes widen at that. Connor won’t call her a bitch and use that moniker like Shiv will but it’s still quite a statement coming from him. 

“Yes, exactly that!” You say as you stick to him. Accepting the reality that you’ll probably spend the next couple of days being an awkward third wheel to Connor and Willa. 

*********** 

“She didn’t bring a fucking date, Ken. It’ll throw off the photos and it raises eyebrows.” Shiv complains to her brother the night before the wedding at the rehearsal. 

“Yeah, I know.” Kendall replies. 

“It’s selfish!” 

He’s not as interested in this conversation in comparison to the rest of your family. He did find it a bit odd that you had shown up on your own. He was certain you had been seeing someone for a bit, he’d tried to ask a couple of times but got vague, younger sister “no comment” like responses. 

Kendall was sure as he knew you were rarely at your home and you weren’t a partier. Which pointed at you possibly staying at a partner’s place. That and when he’d noticed a slight behaviour change in you made him think it was a relationship of a more longer and serious nature. 

You’d always been private about your personal life though so he assumed it was that and the potential, quite possibly real reason that you didn’t want to introduce anyone to your family. Something he understood, especially as he’d gotten older, this didn’t seem to be a reason that anyone in your family could quite comprehend though. So he didn’t bother to raise it. 

“Kendall’s dateless.” Stewy says as he takes a sip of his drink looking at his friend. 

Kendall doesn’t think it’s quite the same and Shiv clearly doesn’t either. 

“Yeah, but that’s completely different, Rava’s here-” Shiv immediately responds. 

“In case you were lost in the to-be-blessed nuptials, congratulations of course, they’re separated, and have been for a bit of a gratuitously extended hot minute.” Stewy retorts. 

“Thanks for that reminder, Stew. Really thoughtful.” Kendall says as he looks away. Shiv rolls her eyes and walks off leaving the two men. 

Stewy was once again, not impressed with how your family treated you. He knew Kendall had a soft spot for you and that relationship was close but Kendall had too much on his mind to even consider taking on a defensive role and Stewy’s hands were tied to a point. 

If Shiv wasn’t so cruel to you about this and Kendall wasn’t so in his head he’s sure that they’d have found his comments suspicious. They probably did to an extent anyway Stewy knew, they were always paranoid individuals and even with your candid nature Shiv only had unwavering distrust in you. 

The rest of the evening seemed to go by too quickly, Stewy knew Kendall wasn’t doing well and whenever Stewy looked around for you, you were often hiding in corners with Rava and talking or with Connor and Willa. 

Stewy couldn’t even hide his smile whenever he saw you, you looked beautiful as ever albeit uncomfortable. There was an impressive, assertive grace whenever you manoeuvred yourself out of awkward and uncomfortable social interactions. 

He eventually had to go back to his room for business and he saw you and Rava leaving at the same time. 

He wanted to just go into your room and kiss you, taste the Wambsgans wine directly from your lips. A big part of him was tempted to kiss you there just to spite your family for you. He’d do it. Anything you asked him to he would. 

*************** 

You were with Rava, Sophie and Iverson. Rava was standing and talking to Sophie, they were playing a clapping game while you sat on the grass looking up at Iverson as you both talked about books. He was telling you about the one he’d read last night. 

You’d heard a comment from your mother about you sitting on the grass but it was comfier and far more pleasant than the chairs that had been used for the ceremony, so you ignored her. It shouldn’t take much longer for that to become a built-in mechanism you thought. Plus it made Sophie laugh and you’d do anything to bring a bit of joy to your niece and nephew. 

You looked over your shoulder for a moment and saw Stewy and Kendall standing at the back talking. Kendall’s gaze occasionally fell to where the four of you were but he was mainly just looking ahead or at Stewy. You saw Stewy was watching you, you couldn’t help but smile at him and you were able to see his smiling at you even with the distance, you were confident it was a smirk. 

You then heard the dreaded call, for photos with siblings and partners, you looked up at Rava who gave you a sympathetic look. She’d heard some of the comments and jokes about the fact that you didn’t have a date. You loudly sighed and sat there for a minute, it was possible that the English countryside might just swallow you up or explode and obliterate you all. It was worth a shot, you wouldn’t know if it was possible or not if you didn’t sit there and give it a go. 

Before you could indulge in that hypothesis of a fantasy you saw Kendall walking over to you, Stewy was trailing behind him but with a bit of a distance. Kendall looked down at you and chuckled. 

“Mom hasn’t killed you or died from embarrassment over this?” He asks with a smirk. 

“I wouldn’t know, I’m trying this thing out where I just ignore and avoid her as much as possible. You’ve probably thought of it before.” You quip back. 

Kendall nods and gives a small, dry chuckle. He had. He’d tried avoiding both of the parents you’d shared a multitude of times, he was never successful though. He extends a hand to help you stand up. You look up at him and give him a pout, it’s not quite like Shiv’s pout and eyes that he falls for. There’s more sadness in the expression you’re giving him compared to Shiv’s evident exasperation. 

“Come on.” Kendall says gently as his hand is still out. You sigh and take it, standing up as you brush the skirt of your dress with your hands and adjust it. Rava gives you a smile and says that your outfit looks fine. You nod, and Stewy and Rava start talking as you and Kendall walk off. 

You smile at Willa as you see that she’s going to be included in the photos, much to the annoyance of the rest of your family you’re sure. As you and Kendall walk over and Roman’s posing in Tabitha’s embrace he instantly yells. 

“Wait, stop! We need more room!” Everybody looks at him and he grins like a chuffed child. “We’ve gotta make space for your imaginary boyfriend!” 

Roman, Tabitha and Shiv laugh at that, Tom does that thing where he makes that odd-sounding laugh because the rest of the Roys are laughing at something. Kendall rolls his eyes and Connor gives Roman a pointed look. You feel bad for Willa, she looks uncomfortable. 

“Wait, I thought he was invisible? Is he invisible or imaginary? Because we made sure there was an extra chair set out for him?” Shiv questions smugly. 

You roll your eyes, feeling more uncomfortable than Willa even looks. Connor tells them to stop and they then move their attention over to getting Rava in the photos. It’s an uncomfortable couple of minutes as you stand between Connor and Tom. It’s to balance out the siblings Shiv says but you know that it’s because so if they want to you, Connor and Willa can easily be cropped out. 

*****************

You’re at the reception sitting at a quieter table at the back. Rava looks up from you and sees Stewy looking at you from across the room, she can tell that it’s aimed at you. The gaze has affection and adoration written all over it. He looks like a simp of a man she thinks. Something she’s never seen or thought of in association with Stewy in all the years that she’s known him. 

“So?” Rava asks, putting her gaze back on you. 

“So?” You ask giving her a smile curious as to what she’s segueing into. 

“Stewy?” Rava asks with an amused expression raising her eyebrows. 

You give her a briefly confused expression before responding. One you’ve now perfected.  

“Hosseini?” You ask, waiting for her to confirm, even though you already know the answer. 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh, I didn’t realise he was here.” 

“Yes!” She laughs. “He’s been making like heart eyes at you all night.” 

“Heart eyes?” You ask and laugh at that. She eagerly nods. 

“Yesterday as well I swear, he keeps looking over and it’s not at me.” 

“I seriously doubt it Rav-” 

“Seriously? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look at anyone like that. He was watching you during the photos as well.” 

You want to melt at that, you adore Stewy and how soft he is for you. But you need to keep your composure, you know Rava is more likely to pick up on something than your siblings are. She’s your friend but she’s also more of the empathetic, loving older sister than Shiv ever was to you. You’re also sure that she wouldn’t tell anyone but it wasn’t worth putting her in that position. Especially when you weren’t sure how Kendall would react. 

“That’s an interesting joke Rava.” You say with a small laugh as you sip some more wine. She smiles at you and drops it except for when she occasionally looks away and sees Stewy. 

Rava and the kids eventually go off to look for Kendall and to have a dance, she asks you to join but you tell her that you’re more than fine and sitting for a bit and recharging your social battery wouldn’t hurt. You wouldn’t say it was easily drained but it definitely evaporated quicker around your family and at events like this. 

You were grateful for Rava’s existence and that of your niece and nephew, it certainly made this all significantly more bearable than what it would be without them. 

“You know, some would say that’s obnoxiously  rude.” 

“What is?” You ask, looking up with a smile at the comforting, familiar voice that was interrupting your thoughts. Stewy smirks at you as he then sits down on one of the empty seats by you. 

He has a hand on the back of your seat. It’s him, a sign of affection but something that could easily be written off to a curious eye. 

“To attend a wedding and then be hotter than the bride.” You laugh at that and his smirk grows. “It’s offensive honestly.” 

“Careful Hosseini, Shiv might stab you if she hears that.” 

“I have no doubt about it.” He has that handsome smirk plastered all over his and you look at him with a grin. 

“I heard you told mom that the marriage will last till whatever comes first, forever, or Shiv going away for a week?” You question, he has a smirk on his face, there’s something there you can’t decide if it’s a bit of guilt or pride. It’s smug either way. 

“Yeah. I was getting pissed off with all the commentary on you showing up ‘date-less’.” He answers honestly. 

You can’t help but find a little but funny as you drink in the sight that he is. Oh, it is so cruel that he’s here, so close to you, basically your unspoken date to your sister’s wedding. A clandestine promise that only the two of you know. He’s dressed in that devilishly handsome suit, his hair styled back, the perfect piece of arm candy you think. 

It’s so cruel that all of those factors exist and are right in your face, you’re breathing them in like oxygen. But you cannot just lean over to kiss his soft lips and run your hands through his styled hair and make a joke that he’s your arm candy or be really candid and say he’s the love of your life. It’s torture to sit here and ignore all of that for the sake of appearances while you get drunk off his smell and the way he smiles at you. 

You look into his beautiful brown eyes, you wouldn’t need a drop of the wine that Tom’s parents brought when you could just get drunk off those doe eyes of his. They’re so intoxicating. There’s a gleam in them, it says adoration but also a thoughtful playfulness. You want to know what he’s thinking. You know he has a wonderful mind. 

“Stewy?” You ask softly. He looks at you raising his eyebrows, the way you say his name so softly, makes his heart melt. It sounds so right in your voice, it doesn’t sound as right in anybody else’s. “What are you thinking about?” 

He looks at you, he then looks around the room as he swirls his drink in his hand for a moment before taking a sip. His smirk is still there but then it quickly shifts to something else, a different smile. One that’s gentle, not so smug, it’s intimate. 

“Our wedding.” He says it so casually but genuinely. 

“Oh?” You ask as you feel your cheeks heat up slightly at that. 

“Yeah. I mean, our wedding will be so much better than this one.” He says as he takes another sip from his drink. You laugh at that, a pure, deep laugh as you look at him. “I was saying to Kendall, hasn’t your sister ever heard of anywhere in fucking Italy? We’ll get married in Lake Como. Unless you have any objections to that, just not here, it’s so fucking dreary baby.”

You smile again, you’d talked about marriage before but it was heartwarming to hear Stewy talk about it like this and to know he really did think of these things. 

“I promise you, not here.” You say with a smirk but you mean it wholeheartedly and he knows. 

“That’s a pretty big, solid win for me, so thank you.” He teases. “It’ll be nice, not as many people as this. Big but intimate, with lots of wine, and a hot bride. The hottest of brides, I feel the need to clarify there. I won the future groom lottery there baby.”

You smile at that. You’re already feeling so much better in his company. He really is a salve on your soul. Before you can respond you see Sophie and Iverson running past, they’re so joyful and happy, it makes your heart swell. Stewy immediately thinks about seeing you throughout the day. 

“And our kids will be cuter, obviously.” Stewy immediately blurts out. 

Your head whips from watching your niece and nephew to then face Stewy. Your jaw drops at that, the comment towards Sophie and Iverson but also the open discussion of children. You both discussed that aspect of the future significantly less than marriage. Plus, Stewy specifically said kids, plural, not a singular kid. 

“Stewy! You can’t say that!” 

“What? It’s true though?!” He has that smug smirk you adore written all over his face. He loves the look of pure shock on yours as well, he finds it so adorable and endearing. Oh, he wants to kiss you right now. 

“You can’t say that about Soph and Iverson, plus they’re cute!” You respond. 

“I’m not saying they aren’t. They are. They’re great in fact. No offence to them baby.” He shrugs teasingly. “I just mean, think about ours. They’ll be the cutest kids in the world, and also the most intelligent. They’ll mansplain private equity to all the other babies while simultaneously blowing away all the developmental psychologists with their EQ and reading skills.” He laughs. 

“You’re such a dork for a grown man at times, Stewy. And they’re technically your future niece and nephew!” You respond as you laugh, trying to imagine Stewy talking to a child, reading to them child-friendly stock market bedtime stories. 

“Think about how cute they’ll be. My hair, eyes, your face shape, your cute mouth!” He says excitedly. He’s obviously thought about this all a lot more than you’d realised. 

“You’ve thought about this quite a bit haven’t you?” 

“Of course.” He says, in a mock offence that you’re even surprised at that. 

You smile at him as you take a sip from your drink while leaning back into your chair, plotting how you both can leave this wedding earlier and unnoticed. You’d do anything to kiss him right now and he’d do exactly the same for you.

[paigegonerogue]

TLOU s2: Behind the Camera

One of the most anticipated shows of 2025, The Last of Us (my favorite show of all time), is likely getting an official teaser trailer this month for the absolutely stacked season 2! If you’ve been keeping up with the news around it, you’ll know the incredible new actors added like Kaitlyn Dever, Isabella Merced, Jeffrey Wright, Katherine O’Hara, and Young Mazino, but they’re not the only rockstars stepping onto the set.

(Super long post)

Directors:

Aside from the amazing returning directors, TLOU has added four prestige legends to the lineup. Thank you for your service, Ali Abassi, if you’re past work directing stories about blonde sex-offenders is any indication, your Trump biopic will be fantastic.

The four directors added to the lineup are Stephen Williams, Kate Herron, Nina Lopez-Corrado, and the legend himself, Mark Mylod.

Stephen Williams, the director who’s known for constantly directing episodes with an 8.7 score on IMDB (that’s not what he’s actually known for). He’s directed episodes of Westworld (one in s1 and one in s2, both with an 8.7 score) and Lost (in which he has two more 8.7s, and I believe over 10 other episodes in the range of .2 points of 8.7), so he’s pretty good with time-skips and flashbacks. He’s also worked on Persons of Interest in which he directed another, you guessed it, 8.7 episode, as well as two more win the .2 range of it. Recently he’s broken out of the “almost nine” range with HBO’s Watchmen, in which he directed episodes 3 and 6. (He’s directed 9s before, but this was the first time where they weren’t surrounded by 8.7s). His work with time shenanigans, and the fact that TLOU is rated 8.7 on IMDB, make this a fantastic match.

Kate Herron is next up, known best for her work on Loki. She directed the entirety of season 1, which includes my favorite episode of the show ‘The Variant’, in which Loki and Mobius go to the location of a disaster in the near future to find a sinister variant. It’s practically a demo real for TLOU, since a lot of it takes place in a supermarket filled with people waiting out a disaster that none of them survive, showing she’s got the skill to pull of apocalyptic. She also delivered us the absolute gold of the salad scene. Other than that, she directed multiple episodes of Sex Education back when it was still beloved and acclaimed.

Third we have Nina Lopez-Corrado. While she hasn’t directed shows quite as high-caliber as some of the other directors, she’s proven she’s good at found family through her work on Agents of Shield, in which she delivered one of the highest rated, and roughest episodes of the show ‘Devil Complex’, in which our favorite characters get put through absolute hell (so she’ll be perfect for TLOU s2!). She’s also shown that she can get Tumblr obsessed with queer ships with her work on Supernatural…

Last and certainly not least is the most well known and acclaimed of the new directors, Mark Mylod. I believe he will be directing the most episodes of this list, but I’m not entirely certain. Mylod is probably best known for his amazing work on Succession, which he won an Emmy for. He’s directed all of my favorite episodes except Panic Room and America Decides. While he’s worked on other projects like Game of Thrones, Entourage, and The Menu, it’s his directing for Succession that gets me most excited for his work on TLOU. He’s proven he can elevate emotional scenes, and his directing is consistently incredible across all spectrums of human feeling. His thematic work with grief, trauma, and the cycle of violence will very much carry over into TLOU, and I can’t wait to see the absolute emotional brutality and heartbreak of his direction paired with Bella’s acting. Actually I can wait because holy shit I’m not going to make it… He directed Kendall’s traumatizing car crash in the s1 finale, Shiv’s self-destructive decisions in Ternhaven, Kendall’s breakdown in s3 when he admits to Roman and Shiv what he did, Roman’s grief and self-harming behaviors at the funeral, the bittersweet bonding in the finale of the show, and obviously Connor’s Wedding. If you’ve seen Succession or know the plot of TLOU part 2 you’ll know exactly how that might carry over…

You thought this was the end? Hell no! Directors aren’t the only ones behind the camera!

Writers:

Craig Mazin and Neil Druckmann wrote season one. Their brilliant writing elevated the show and led to some truly unforgettable moments, and this season they’ve brought in some more incredible writers to help!

Halley Gross co-wrote The Last of Us part 2 alongside Neil Druckmann. No one was particularly surprised by this news, but it’s still great nonetheless. It’s clear how much Mazin respects the source material, and I love how TLOU brings in the people who wrote the games to help adapt it for television. She also wrote episodes for Westworld s1.

The other writer is more unexpected. Bo Shim joined the writers room of TLOU s2, but we don’t know much about him. He currently has no official writing credits, which either means it’s a pseudonym (which I doubt), or, more likely, they found a young, talented writer who hasn’t made it big yet and decided to give him his big break and use his skills for TLOU. If you’re looking, Craig, I know a film student who’d love to join the writing room for TLOU…. She’ll do it for free… she’ll pay you… please??

Cinematographers:

Cinematographers work with directors to create the look of the show, the shots, the lighting, etc.

Ksenia Sereda, who did the cinematography for TLOU episodes 1, 2, and 7 will be returning along newcomer Catherine Goldschmidt who worked on the always-gorgeous House of the Dragon.

Some of her amazing HotD shots:

Finally, Emily Mendez and Timothy A. Good are returning as editors. Set designers Austin Chuqiao Wang, Kyle White, and Shannon McArthur are returning as well.

There are wild amounts of other crew members who work on everything from lighting to costumes to vfx to storyboards. If I mentioned all of them this post would be as long as the credits, but every single one of them is important to the show and helps make it as incredible as it is!

I can’t wait for season 2!

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 6

roman roy x fem! reader

Summary: You have been spending a lot of time Roman that you finally had time to spend with Jess. You both go out for shopping and invite someone to your dinner plans.

Warnings: veganism, implied addiction problems

Word Count : 4.4K

Notes: So sorry to do this to my meat lovers and dairy lovers, but OC is canonly vegan. It'll be a funny bit later on, but as a vegan I approved it. sorry.

Chapter 6: goodnight texts

You said your goodbyes to Roman for the day, finishing some things off before you left his office. You were just waiting for Jess to finally finish up with Kendall so you could both head out together for the day. You got the text from Jess before heading to the elevator to meet with her. She turned the corner and sped walked over to you, quickly pulling you into an embrace.

“What are you both up to?” Kendall asked in a friendly way. Despite having to deal with Roman being really nasty to him, he was kind of cheery. It could’ve been genuine, but Jess knew that was just the front he put on around everyone to make them think he was stable.

Kendall was anything but stable. He just hid it well enough by being more likable than his siblings and more understanding than his father. He played his cards right and he was strategic. He wanted to gain everyone’s respect and he thought by trying to be the cool guy that he would keep it. He wanted respect, but his need to be liked overpowered his personality entirely.

In reality, Kendall relapsed again a couple weeks ago. After trying to take down Logan and spending hours and hours out of his days to take Logan down, after Shiv’s wedding he completely cowarded to his father again. He was an empty shell of the man he was before.

Worst of all everyone knew he relapsed again. He tried to act as if he had it under control and as if barely anyone knew, but we all saw through it. He was a complete mess. Roman even had to fish him out of trap house after smoking crack with some strangers he found at a bar. Kendall’s addiction turned into a darker turn than it had ever done before. And no one could stop it, no matter how hard they tried. Truth is, Kendall didn’t want to be sober. He just wanted to forget.

He wanted to stop thinking about it.

And being high was the only way to stop it.

But of course, Logan knew and used it to his advantage. It was another play he had on hand to take advantage of his children. He always had some kind of leverage to make them bend at his will. He had a lot, while they had none. It was like playing Monopoly with toddlers for him. Roman’s weird and queer behaviors. His fear of intimacy and the fact the last person he had sex with was the girl who blew Tom, and he couldn’t even manage to even properly do it. And everyone knew. Cause every girlfriend Roman had outted his sexual problems to everyone out of frustration.

Kendall’s intense drug issues and the fact he was too weak to run the company. He couldn’t even properly overthrow his father. Kendall’s whole life was set up for CEO, but Logan wasn’t ever planning to step down, even in death. Kendall was just Logan’s bark dog. He did what he asked in hopes to get the position he’s fought his whole life for. He wanted to be nothing like Logan, but everything like Logan at the same time that he got his weaknesses and strengths. An absent father and backstabbing family member to not just his father, but his siblings too.

And Siobhan. Well, the only thing Logan had against her was she was a woman and a liberal. Two things Logan couldn’t stand. He saw those qualities as weak. Powerless. She was never going to be taken seriously. Cause Logan created an atmosphere in the office that allowed the man at the top to use their power against women. And he gave them the courage to use their manhood to exude that power. Along with his company ATN spewing alt-right propaganda. He knew the company would not take Shiv seriously. They would think she was gonna change too much around there and weren’t going to have ‘creative freedom’, as if Logan wasn’t already feeding them his own agenda.

Reality is he didn’t stand anywhere politically. Just whatever would give him more power and money. Cause whoever got elected did so because of him. He looked for men who were powerful, but also scared of Logan and his power. And he spread an agenda to the American people. Logan knew his influence. And knew none of them could live up to it. Cause they were all too soft, despite fighting to be as aggressive and terrible as him.

Kendall just wanted to be like Logan despite what he said. But also wanted to be liked. He didn’t know which was more important.

Jess felt pity for him. She had seen him go through it. She knew Kendall more than most. He practically treated her like a personal diary.

She just gave him a comforting smile and answered for the both of you. “Well y/n just got her first paycheck and we were gonna go shopping for new office clothes for her. And to get dinner, but don’t be scared to call me if you need me.” She reminded him. He nodded before stepping in the elevator with the two of you. “So-uh-where are you both gonna get dinner?” He asked you both. You looked at Jess, assuming she would know since she was the one that offered. She didn’t think about it though.

Kendall always seemed to be stumbling over his words. It kind of seemed like he over thinks about everything he said. He taught too much about it. “No clue, we were probably gonna grab a table at whatever was near and good enough.” She confessed.  Kendall tried to find of a spot for the two of us before finally coming up with one.

“You both- I think at least- should go to- it’s incredible really, its new- to this place. Uh fuck- what was it called?” he tried to remember. He spent a while before finally remembering the name. He snapped his finger, pointing at us “Boulud Saud!” He seemed so proud of himself for remembering it. He didn’t really remember names of places like that. Just where they were.

“How do you even spell that?” You laughed, pulling it up on your phone. You all left the elevator together, you and Jess heading towards the subways as Kendall seemed to follow.

You unfortunately always had to look up the menu to places. Because you were scared to admit this to Roman, but you were had been vegan for a couple of years now. I know it was truly a crime of humanity and to some people’s culinary experiences, but you were. Kendall tried his best to spell it out before you all just stopped on the street to find it. Unfortunately for you it didn’t work out for you. “I can’t. Sorry.” You apologized to both of them. Jess because you needed to now look for another place and Kendall for wasting his recommendation.

“Uh why?” he asked. He took it as a blow to his personality. As if he messed up already. In his head, you rejected him because you had an issue with him. His fear of being unliked surged up. You took a deep breathe dramatically, putting your wrist over your head, reaching out to Jess. She just giggled, holding back, watching the dramatic scene play out. “Don’t hate me Kendall, but I- I don’t eat meat. Or egg. Or cheese. Or anything with animals. Ugh I’m awful I know.” You whined, hiding your face.

Kendall was just happy enough that you were actually being friendly to him. You didn't dislike him. He really thought you would since you worked with Roman. But you weren’t like everyone in the building. You were like Jess. You weren’t raised with money. You didn’t find a need to pick and play games like everyone. Work was work. And Kendall wasn’t use to it. He was so use to everyone using things against him and using him for their own gain. He just laughed at you. “Wow. I-I-I don’t know if I could forgive something so repulsive” He played along, stuttering over his words as he usually did.

“It’ll be fine Ken, we’ll just go to one of our usual spots.” Jess reassured him. He nodded and figured it was his time to depart from the two of you. A sadness washed over him again. He had to be alone. Alone with whatever he was thinking. With all of his anxieties. Jess saw it. “Unless you don’t mind meeting us for lunch. It’s not really fancy though. It’s just normal people food.” She shrugged. You looked at Jess then Kendall, you weren’t sure why he had to join since you did expect just a day alone with Jess. But you wouldn’t mind it. Just caught off guard.

“No-uh-no-it’s alright, you both just have your-uh-fun girl thing.” He tried to make himself not look pathetic. But he did. That whole family was. It was a tragedy to watch. Almost Shakespearian.

“No come on, is it cause you don’t wanna eat with normal people?” You asked jokingly. He tried to rebuttal, but you caught him off before you could make him more nervous and upset than he was. “We’ll text you the place before we get there. We’ll see you there.” You offered. Jess appreciated how sweet you were being. It was only 40 minutes of your day. You both had the rest of the day to be spend with Jess. You could just end up at Jess’ apartment later.

You waved goodbye to Kendall, locking arms with Jess. You walked your separate ways as you started your day with Jess. You both decided against the subway and walked to Soho instead. It was only a 15 to 20 minute walk, and it was a beautiful day out. A bit chilly, but just chilly enough that it felt nice.

“So you and Roman.” Jess started as if it was going to turn into a talk. “You enjoying the job?” This felt like a trap. Depending on how you answered could cause Jess to have a talk with you and you weren’t sure if you wanted to have one yet.

“Yeah, Roman is actually trying now.” You shrugged. You avoided her looks.

Jess knew you. She knew how to spot certain hints about your life. You spent 2 years together in a dorm room. Jess was 2 years older than you and moved out, but you still hung out after and even spent nights with her after the semester was over. So, you basically lived with her for 3 years, technically, considering all the months you spent with her during your summers and winters off and even after you left college, you spent weeks with her before you got your expenses together. So, if anyone knew you, Jess did.

“I’ve never seen him at work this much. Last time I saw him at work, he came on his window.” She brought up. You stopped, your jaw dropping almost immediately before you slapped your hand over your open mouth. You looked at her, practically screaming WHAT?

“No fucking way!” you hysterically laughed. You needed to make fun of him for that later. Honestly it wasn’t entirely too surprising. You could expect that from him. “I thought that shit would end after leaving minimum wage.” You tried to say your sentence, but you couldn’t stop laughing.

“Nope. Most fucked up, like a month before you got here, Logan pissed in Logans office.” She bit her bottom lip in amusement, trying to keep herself from breaking out laughing on the street.

“SHUT UP! OH M- What the fuck is wrong with this family?” You shook your head. It was the craziest thing you could ever expect. This is like reading stories of what your favorite celebrity used to do when you could get away with terrible shit.

“You don’t even know the beginning of it. It goes so much deeper than that. That was all within a month or two.” She revealed. You practically begged her to tell you more, but she had too much already. If someone were to find out she said anything, she could get in serious trouble. All thanks to the NDA that they were made to sign. You let it go. You didn’t want to press too much.

You and Jess went from luxury store to luxury store to buy you suits and dresses for work. It was so nice to have Jess around. She knew what it was like being like me. She went through the same exact thing when she first got hired. She knew exactly what kind of mistakes to avoid and what to actually buy. Her first mistake was buying something from Zara.

You had been carrying bags throughout each store, not even paying to attention to how much you swiped, cause no matter how much you did swipe, it didn’t decline. How much did you get paid? You decided to check later. Right now, your arms hurt, and you needed to put the bags away. Thankfully Jess’ apartment was only a couple blocks away.

You rushed inside once Jess unlocked the doors and set everything down. “Fucking hell…” You moan, rubbing your wrists. You laid on Jess’ couch before looking at your phone to see texts from Roman. You decided to change his name to Rome. It was better than what he had put in your phone before.

You giggled, immediately texting back since you hadn’t been able to respond the entire time you spent time with Jess. You and Roman were just getting close. It was normal. You both just enjoyed being around each other. That’s all. Jess found you smiling a bit too hard at your phone. You had a certain glow to you. Jess has seen this glow before. Back in college whenever you’d pick your boy of the month. “Ooo who’s that?” She asked, sitting next to you, leaning down to see your phone to only see Roman’s name again. Her face dropped. Someone fucking dig up Jesus Christ or find him immediately cause God is dead.

“Nope. Fuck y/n, this can’t-“ she was way to stunned. You put the phone down and looked up at her.

“Oh calm down, we’re just being friendly.” You reassured her. You sat up, placing your phone face flat. You never did that around her. Only others when you wanted to hide something. But you didn’t do it consciously. It just was a reflex.

“Y/n promise me. You cannot get involved with Roman. I love you way too much for you to go down this path.” Jess held your hands in hers. She noticed the phone. She knew something you didn’t. You thought she was being extremely dramatic. You didn’t have a crush on Roman. He was just nice to be around. Disgusting. But nice. It was fun. You both had fun with each other.

Besides he was your boss. You’re professional. You knew what could happen if you got involved. You already thought about it. You knew a relationship with Roman could never exist unless you wanted to risk your job possibly. You read the contract. It’s not that you’d be terminated, but there were consequences you weren’t willing to take. But it was also about the public scrutiny you weren’t willing to deal with.

“Nothing is gonna happen Jess, he’s Roman. And plus, you know me. I would not ruin a good thing for something so stupid.” You scoffed. “Hey, don’t forget to invite Kendall to dinner.” You reminded. You just needed to find a place that he wasn’t going to be too uncomfortable in. You weren’t sure if he’s eaten anywhere normal before. He probably had $40 appetizers wherever he ate. You both settled on Dirt Candy. It was a restaurant you always wanted to try but couldn’t afford. It was a Michelin star restaurant despite the name and the appearance of the outside of the restaurant. But the fact it had a star was probably enough for Kendall.

You picked your phone back up and continued to respond to Roman, except trying to hide it better. You held back your smiles enough and tried to not stare at it as often. But it didn’t fool Jess, she saw right through your façade.

You were just making stupid jokes and updating each other on what was happening. You told him you had went shopping for clothes earlier.

‘you gonna do a little show for me tomorrow?’

‘can you ever not sexualize everything i do?’

Jess decided to ignore. She trusted your judgement enough, but entirely, but enough.

“Okay he’ll get there by the time we do.” Jess tried to get you organized. You pulled away from the screen and asked her to repeat herself. She sighed and just walked, knowing you’d follow. You grabbed your jacket and followed Jess around as if you were her assistant now. But you had always followed her around realistically. She was like the older sister you wish you had. You admired her. She was the coolest person you knew. There was nothing she could do wrong in your eyes. Except when you argued about mediocre and mundane things. Then she could do a lot wrong.

You got to the restaurant with Jess, waiting for Kendall. You both just got your drinks.

Jess liked spending time with Kendall. Her job was stressful only when Kendall made his life stressful, which he did a lot; especially recently. She felt pity for him. She saw his potential and knew he can make it far if he could just get over his insecurities. He was smart. He knew what he was doing. But his ego was getting in the way of his success. His dad was constantly in his head.

You watched as the tall black haired man walked into the restaurant searching for you both. He noticed the two of you and made his way over. You and Jess got up to greet him was a hug before sitting back down. You waved the waitress down so Kendall could order a drink for himself as well. He got a menu and looked over what to order. But he couldn’t for the life of him settle on anything.

“Uh-hi. So how was your-uhm- what did you guys exactly do?” He asked you both.

“We just went shopping. I needed a wardrobe for work.” You shrugged. You already had your choice set in place. Jess too. You both just waited for Kendall to make a choice. “I’ve honestly been wearing the same button up for the past couple of days. My outside clothes don’t really fit the office.” You shrugged. “I’m shocked you had anything that wasn’t either see through or more than 5 inches of fabric.” Jess overly exaggerated. You mimicked her before flipping her off. “Wow Roman is really rubbing off on you.” She joked.

“How dare you compare me to him?” You let out a gasp. Your lip curled into a smirk, sipping on your drink. “Credit, you knew me before. So, you know for a fact I’ve always acted this way.” You tried to point out, but Jess really wanted to know your feelings for Roman. She tried to see how’d you even react to him being brought up in conversation. But you barely had one. In fact, you tried to even avoid texting him because you wanted to prove it to her. You did not have a crush on Roman Roy.

“Where’d you two meet again?” Kendall interrogated. Everything was usually about him usually. He did love to talk about himself and what he did, but since his life has been crashing down, he had nothing to brag about, nothing to uplift himself.  

“Oh ya, a strip club. Jess was my pimp.” You clearly lied, Jess kicking your foot lightly under the table.

“College.” She corrected you.

“I think Jess is right, Roman is rubbing off on you.” Kendall said with a quickness that apparently the entire Roy family had, as he stood with Jess. You looked at him in shock. “I grew up with him. I should know.” He raised his hands up in defense before bringing the waitress over as he finally settled on something.

“I’m not that bad though. Come on, right?” You asked the two of them as they ignored you to order their food, essentially giving you their answer. They were joking, but they did assume you were acting like Roman purely because of how much times you both spend together. Kendall more so because he didn’t know you before, Jess less because she knew you were always this quick and witty. But she couldn’t help but remind herself of the way you were glued to your phone. She had to see it for herself in person though. How did you act around him? “Oh, screw you both” You huffed, crossing your arms. “You’ve started to act more like Kendall then.” You tried to fire back; your chin raised up. But really Jess hasn’t. She’s just more grown since when you first met.

“How?” Jess asked amused. Kendall leaned in amused as well to hear what you had to say about him.

“Well, you dress nicer now.” You tried to make any point you could. "You're a lot classier." You mocked, flicking your wrist and batting your eyes.

“Yea cause of work.” She corrected you. “Boo try again.”

“Fine uhhhh….” You thought for a while.

“I don’t think she has anything.” Kendall pointed out to Jess. She nodded at him, agreeing as she watched you with amusement as you tried to pull something out of your ass.

“Oh! I know! You’ve been more docile. You’re not a party girl anymore.” You pointed out. But again, you were only pointing out the fact she’s aged and gotten more mature than when you had first met.  “She used to down at least 8 shots a night in college.” You lied to Kendall.

“Kendall parties.” Jess pointed out. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t understand the double meaning.

“Yea at rich people stuff.” You made a point, but you didn’t know Kendall enough to know how he was. I mean just a few weeks ago he was at a club doing coke with his cousin. Well not with. He made his cousin do it. But he had to pretend to be sober in front of everyone, despite everyone knowing that truth.

“No-I don’t- how about one night I’ll show you.” He offered. You raised your eyebrow, wondering if it was really the best idea to do so. “It’ll be a good time. Trust me.” He left the offer on the table for you to take. You looked at Jess, her shrugging at the request.

“Okay. Next time Kendall Roy is going to party, I’ll be there.” You laughed.

Kendall wasn’t as bad as Roman tried to paint him as. You didn’t understand the dynamic they had. You didn’t know where all this resentment came from. Anytime you seen them, they plotted against the other to ruin the other. They seemed to hit a rough patch.

Honestly, the only issue was they had hit was Kendall trying to recruit people to vote Logan out. Roman was supposed to vote for it, with Kendall, but Logan refused to leave the room. It was a sight to be seen. No one had seen Logan so angry before, despite his health not being in the best shape. He threatened to fire whoever voted against him. And he did. He even took Roman to put his hand down before he got the chance to put in his opinions. And Romans eagerness to please his father mixed with fear of his father, he did what he was told.  And Kendall continued to try to ruin the company. He wanted it gone if he couldn’t have it, not even considering his own brother. He said it was because he wanted Logan to step down, but it was only because it wasn’t his. He thought it was his birth right. But after the accident, Kendall was back. But he knew his future with the company was practically nonexistent now that everything transpired. Now Roman was being offered everything he was promised. And the two brothers had no idea, but so was Shiv. Logan was setting them both up as he did with Kendall years ago as a kid.

You just felt sorry for them. They didn’t seem to have a lot of people around them or anyone to fight for them. They were both dealing with their father and decided to turn their issues into a competition rather than seeking refugee within each other.

The Roy family was an American Tragedy.

The three of you spent awhile in the restaurant together, even after eating. When you finished you just ordered dessert and drinks. Jess watched over Kendall though. She did truly worry about him. The three of you actually had a nice time. Kendall was nice. He was a lot more respectful than Roman was. Just not as intense. He had an intensity that was just different from Roman’s. His was more comparable to Logan’s intensity. He was fun, but still very corporate to you. He was always careful of what to say and how to say it. He always wanted to play safe. No wonder Logan set him up for CEO. If you didn’t know any better, you thought Kendall would end up running Waystar one day.

You split up, giving Kendall a hug before leaving him alone. “Don’t forget to invite me to your totally awesome and not uptight rich people party!” You shouted, walking backwards as you cupped your hands around your mouth to amplify the noise. He nodded, putting a thumbs up.

You turned around, walking with Jess. “He’s fun.” You started.

“See, that’s what I’ve been telling you. That’s why I was so upset you’d be Roman’s assistant instead.” She reminded you. If only Jess got to know him, maybe she’d like him better. But there was no changing her mind. She’s seen how Roman has been. Especially to Kendall. Roman was vindictive. He didn’t even feel any sympathy for what Kendall was dealing with, in her eyes. He just did Logans dirty work and pushed him farther down.

You and Jess had just the entire night together before you decided it was time to get home. You were exhausted. You just decided to get an uber, knowing carrying Louis Vuitton and Chanel and other designer bags down your neighborhood at 1 am in the subway wasn’t safe.

You laid on your bed and finally got the courage to look at your bank account. Before you look login to your bank account you saw one last text from Roman.

‘night. see you tomorrow’

You smiled to yourself, powering your phone off for the night.

Note: Sorry about the end of the chapter if it's a little sloppy. I wrote it while half asleep.

Chapter 7

[tomwambsgans]

tomgreg wedding would for sure not be very big. tom is a Wedding Guy but he also already did the Huge wedding and it did not turn out great. and there's no benefit this time to making it basically this massive public event that includes all their colleagues. even just taking all the people that tom may know as vague acquaintances through his career or from college, i feel like he would be hesitant to get all those people to come to another wedding, where this time he's marrying the previous bride's cousin. even if it wasn't a gay wedding, that's just so fucking messy and un-self-aware lol

so no, it could not be nearly as huge. but at the same time, they fs do not want it to look comparatively like they're eloping. it's got to still be a nice venue and a serious event. they're not trying to hide. both tom and greg DO want to show off how happy they are together, and to make this a point of very seriously and publicly declaring commitment and love. just also, it has to be careful because of tom's previous wedding.

inviting the roys would def be a huge discussion for them bc obviously it would be awkward as fuck for them to be there, but also by the time they're getting married it's certainly not a secret. shiv being there would be deeply awkward but not inviting her, if her brothers were, would seem targeted. i can't imagine a world tbqh where shiv becomes remotely supportive of tomgreg so honestly she probably wouldn't even WANT to come, so it's just a matter of appearances with the invitations, but they gotta account for how likely it is that any of the roys will call their bluff and actually come. roman is very likely to fuck shit up on purpose. shiv might even, too. kendall would care much less about tomgreg and more about tom being ceo, which would sour things for him. but personally I also think it's likely tom will stop being ceo and go on to do something more fulfilling some years post-finale, so maybe it would fine on that front. i imagine tom getting gerri and karolina to give him the rundown on exactly how public his and greg's relationship is, what the optics are, and what could happen to the company were they to get married... and perhaps, using the information he gets as an excuse to try to get out asap. but anyway connor and willa are definites, of course.

basically my thinking is that no matter what, the tomgreg wedding is getting pushed way out in the future just to make sure it doesn't look to the public like tom is remarrying super fast. it IS supposed to be a publicization of their relationship but they don't want their wedding to seem like it's for the whole world, so there's some amount of disregard that they need to have for the public eye, too. they're not trying to show off bc they don't want it to be reminiscent of the tomshiv wedding, but they do absolutely NEED it to be decadent. they don't want it to seem at all performative but it also can't seem too obviously like they're trying not to.

anyway with all this in mind i'm gonna go through each (main) potential tomgreg wedding venu and their pros and cons but also just how they might go

rome

for obvious reasons it has personal significance to them, and having their wedding at a place like that would reinforce that this is a personal event that just happens to be public. it would give the excuse for an explicitly ancient roman Theme, at least vaguely, since the venue itself would certainly have actual ancient architecture. i love to imagine the custom suits they'd certainly commission, the red and gold and white, and the inevitability of rings engraved with nero and sporus too. the main con here, of course, would be how on the nose it all is. i can imagine tom deciding that it's too much and would maybe in fact be bringing too much of their personal history out into the open. maybe they'd prefer that that stay between them.

elsewhere in italy

there's a ton of appealing wedding venues all throughout italy, including places that are not rome but still related to nero and sporus, but my main thought tbqh is how they related to wine. i've fully settled by now into the headcanon that tom and greg start running a winery at some point post-series, so that tom gets to have a more satisfying version of his metaphorical wine baby with greg. i've mentioned it before but as someone in the liquor business with a not insignificant stint in wine-tasting, i think what would fit them best is a cab franc. therefore they'd most likely be staying in the northeast of italy to do that. and obviously that doesn't mean their wedding would have to be in the same place, but it would be neat if having the wedding there doubled as them checking out the area. this could also put them around Lake Como, which was a place tom expressed interest in when discussing wedding venues with shiv, so. at the same time, knowing he explicitly mentioned it to shiv does feel like a downside. just bc i don't thing the tomgreg wedding would/should be remotely a redo of the tomshiv wedding.

st. paul, minnesota

it's funny, i knew about lake como in st. paul before i knew about como lake in italy. it would be a really fun little twist if that was the como that tom at which wound up having the actual wedding with the love of his life, specifically in his home town, too, to bring it home that greg understands who tom really is. the biggest downside of st. paul, imo, is also simultaneously an upside -- that the venue would be small. so they maybe wouldn't get to have much decadence, BUT they'd be trading that for the excuse to keep it small. as in, the excuse of family. of course it's contentious exactly how supportive of the wedding tom's extended family and old friends would actually be... though I think that if nothing else, they might come for the fact of his success. and those would be the exact people that tom would love to prove his happiness to.

old new york

this is the setting that i honestly think tom would have chosen for his first wedding if it were up to him. like, put up against lake como i imagine him taking a minute to waffle but ultimately deciding on this. once again the tomgreg wedding shouldn't be a redo of tomshiv, but this in particular is just SO tom. and also, i think, the last one that shiv would have chosen. for tom, nyc was a lifelong aspiration, and for shiv it's nothing. having like a 1940s nyc ball-style wedding is probably tom's dream, and i imagine greg having similar lingering awe about that whole vibe. biggest downside is how much more likely it is for it to get trashed, either by roys (cough cough roman) or by people who hold some kind of grudge re: ATN. but good security would probably render that null anyway.

cruise ship

biggest upside is that it would once again be an excuse for the wedding to be relatively small. and narratively it's a fun way to bring it back home to their beginnings in Parks & Cruises... and for that same reason probably not a great idea? like realistically, it's maybe playing with fire a bit lol. but there are so many ocean-related motifs around tomgreg, and also they're kinda stupid, so i can still see it. a destination wedding in particular, with a built-in honeymoon, also feels perfectly decadent that way. AND they could combine it with either an italy option or the old new york option.

[hughiecampbelle]

Being Connors Favorite Sibling Would Include:

Requested: could I request something with Connor and Roy!sibling? headcanons, a fic, literally anything I'm in love with their relationship and how much they love each other. I think a little sibling that loves Connor the way he deserves would be so good for him - anon

A/N: I love Big Brother Connor!!! He deserves the world 💞 Thank you for requesting my love! Hope you like it!! Feedback is always appreciated!!!! 💜

Connor was ecstatic the day you were born. He thought he was done being a big brother, that his job was kinda done. Ken, Rome, and Shiv were grown up, they didn't think they'd need him anymore. Little did he know that you would be the closest to him out of everyone, that you would need him the most

Being a big brother is his favorite job in the world. He wasn't sure what being loved, really loved, felt like until Kendall was born. From the minute he could crawl, he followed Connor wherever he wanted. So did Roman. And when Shiv was born, he couldn't believe it. He'd always wanted a sister and now he had one. She was absolutely perfect

But you? You were his everything. Neither your mother or your father were all that interested, so the responsibility fell on him, not that he would ever complain. He loved it, even when you spit up on him. The other three were grossed out, hating to change diapers and getting annoyed with your crying, but he was more than happy to calm you down, sit with you, rock you back and forth, etc.

Your first words were his name, too, which almost killed him. Seriously, he still brings it up, he's so proud

He loved watching you grow into a toddler. You were a lot more fun. You could walk and talk and play. You loved when he got on the floor with you and played with you. He even dressed up with you when he wanted to play pretend, though mostly he was too tall for the costumes, so he made do with the hats and accessories instead

"Connor?"

"Yes y/n?"

"Why is the sky blue?"

"That's a good question. . ."

He takes you to preschool every day and tries to be there at pickup as much as he can. He loves to hear about your day, what you learned, who you talked to, what you played with, the snacks you ate, etc. He only gets more interested the older you get, when you learn about the planets and dinosaurs and you read all these interesting books. When school started, he was sad to see you go. You'd been his little buddy and suddenly you were all grown up

Every presentation, award, musical, play, game, show, everything he showed up for, front row with his phone out recording, cheering the loudest

He takes you camping, to the park and the movies, wherever you want to go. He thinks it's good for you to get out of the city

"Why doesn't dad ever come with us?"

"Pops is a very busy man. . ."

Connor is constantly sticking up Logan despite the fact that he's never really shown an ounce of love or attention towards either of you. He wants to protect you from that unloved feeling. He needs to, like he has with your siblings

No matter how small it seemed to you, it meant the world to him. Eventually you stopped inviting your mother and father, going straight to him. He'd tell the president to fuck off if it meant he got to spend a second more with you

He helped you with homework, staying up late at the kitchen table going over the same math problem again and again. He never got mad or frustrated, though. He'd take as long as you needed

You could do no wrong in his eyes. When you fought with Ken, when you argued with Shiv, when you pushed Rome, none of it was your fault. None of them could stand it

When you cried he was the first person you went to. When you got your heart broken for the first time, when you wondered why your parents even had you if they were never around, when you had nightmares as a child and when your worst fears came true, you cried to him

The older you got, the more distance you put between you and him. Kids strayed from their parents once they became teenagers, that's just how it worked. Still, he felt unprepared for the days when you wouldn't need him so much

He taught you how to drive and study with you before your test. You weren't very good, but you had no idea. He was ecstatic when you parallel parked the first time. He made you feel proud, even if at first it felt silly

He was there when you walked across the stage for your diploma for both high school and college, cheering the loudest. He made a rule that you'd call him once a week in college and you never missed it, not even once. You'd tell him about your friends, the parties you went to, to the people you were seeing. He wanted to hear everything

Everything you've accomplished, he couldn't be prouder

You go to his ranch as much as you can, enjoying the distance between you and your father. The older you get, the more you realize how he was never in your life and how much Connor was. It makes you sad, thinking he had to step up, take responsibility for his baby sibling. He is adamant that raising you was a pleasure, the best thing he's ever done

He has pictures of you everywhere. Of the others too, but mostly of you. You can't help but find them embarrassing

"I look like an idiot."

"You were adorable." He looks at them every single day, proud as ever

He visits you in the office, taking you out for lunch when he's in the city. He's the only one who doesn't work for your father, but he likes hearing about it from you. He can't believe how grown up you are, how adult you've suddenly gotten. It seems like just yesterday they brought you home. Now you had meetings and deadlines and your own interns to boss around

"Look at you, all grown up. I can't believe it!"

He's the first person you call when anything happens. When Kendall's gone manic, when Dad hits Rome, when Shiv seems off, when you're getting a promotion, a first date, anything and everything. He's always there to offer advice on how to handle the situation. He's been dealing with them far longer than you have

You show him how to use social media so he can see the pictures you post, not wanting to miss out on anything. There are lots of pictures of you and him together

"Who's that?"

"I'm kinda seeing them."

"That's wonderful! When do I get to meet them?"

Forget your mother and father, it's Connor you're worried about when you're seeing someone. They're never good enough for you. He quizzes them on everything, bordering on an interrogation. In the end, no matter what he thinks of them, he's happy you've found someone that makes you happy

You and him go on double dates with your partner and Willa, who adores you. She lovingly calls you Connors Baby. She's glad someone else loves him like he should be, instead of being used and ignored and neglected like the rest do

You're one of the most well-rounded, healthy, adjusted Roys to come out of the family, or as close as you can get, because of him

He always sits by you at family dinners and vacations, between you and Logan, hoping he can be the target for his anger if need be

When you drink too much he takes care of you, especially at weddings, and always saves a dance for you at the end of the night

"Thank you, Con."

"For what?"

"For everything."

You care very little for your father, but when he dies Connor is right there offering comfort. You were never close to him. You never got the chance to build a relationship with him, no matter how warped, like the others. Connor was your dad, you thought so for the longest time when you were little, your fathers day cards addressed to him instead of Logan. You're sad for your siblings who loved him despite it all

You're the only one to attend Connors wedding, cheering and clapping when they kiss. You wouldn't have missed it for anything

Connor has spent your entire life protecting you and for that, you will always be grateful. It's something you can never repay

[hauntaku2]

Marina: What do you think about my girlfriend? Isn't she the cutest little cupcake? Pearl: You're way way cuter than me, 'Rina. Marina: Aw!~ Thank you, Pearlie! But there's no way I can compete with you. Pearl: Don't count yourself short, 'Rina. I'd be nothing without you by my side. Shiver: Is that so? Well, I believe my girlfriend Frye is hotter than the both of you combined. Pearl: No way. Frye: Hey, what I know is that my partner Shiver is way cooler than both of you. Isn't that right, Shiv? Shiver: That's correct. Facts are facts. Pearl: Oh, yeah? Shiver: Yeah, definitely. Without a doubt. Frye: Got a problem with that? Marina: You really think you're even half as cute as my dear Pearlie? Pearl: I bet they do. They're not. But I bet they think they are. Shiver: Is that a declaration of war? Frye: Ooh! I love a good fight! Pearl: 'Rina's gonna show you who's boss. Marina: Pearlie's gonna kick you to the curb! Big Man: What did I miss? Shiver: These two washed-up idols think they're better than us. Frye: They've got moxie! Big Man: Is that so? Pearl: They started this fight by dissing my girl 'Rina. That's a death sentence. Marina: Whoa! Pearlie, you don't have to go that far for me. Pearl: I'd walk across the entire ocean just to see you smile, 'Rina. Shiver: You want to fight to the... death? That's uncalled for. Frye: We're not gonna kill each other. Let's be civil here. Big Man: Yeah, how about just a regular turf war to settle this once and for all? Pearl: To the death it is. Marina: PEARLIE! No. You can't kill them just because they said a few mean words. Pearl: Fine. But you three got lucky that 'Rina doesn't want me to go all out. I'm still gonna make you suffer for this. Shiver: Why do I feel a chill? Frye: Pearl needs to cool down. Big Man: The pressure is getting too much for me, I'm out. Marina: Pearlie...

[asmeninas]

Cheryl Blossom and Kendall Roy

Cheryl 🍒💋🍓

First impression: I love that initial montage with Jason and the decision to open the show with such heavy * implications, but really that shot of her on the rocks by sweetwater river crying mascara tears won me over so fucking hard, I was locked in

Impression now: 😍😍😍😍😍😍

Favorite moment: god, where to begin... setting her house on fire... talking to her brother's corpse, mourning cheerleader outfits... as a s5/s6 hardcore stan when she thinks she's the first living saint and has magical powers and then when she does get powers, and ofc this episode one of the greatest slayages of all time // also she has never won a dance-off (she can't dance)

Idea for a story: I'd like to see a Cheryl that wasn't tied down to hugely popular canon gay ship forever across all universes including after death monogamy... I don't even really dislike the ship in question per se but she had too much chemistry with everyone else to be tied down

Unpopular opinion: above is the most unpopular opinion possible... why does she have a child

Favorite relationship: Veronica for fucking, Betty in general

Favorite headcanon: not sure if I have one because I don't think her feelings for Jason are a headcanon I think that's canon. but I think it's funny if she actually did a little magic her entire life

Kendall 🧍🏻‍♂️

First impression: funny actually because I didn't know who anyone was, s1 was just about to finish when I started and my friends on twitter were all starting to watch, and I'd seen Kendall mentioned a bunch by them because we all went on to become kendolls but I didn't know what he looked like, so my FIRST first impression was cringing at his rapping, and then when he gets out of the car it was me going "oh I think this is Kendall!!"

Impression now:

Favorite moment: I was just talking about first impressions so I'll say Austerlitz kitchen scene, the first time we see him high around his family, and because s1 never gets any love in this fandom the I Wanna Dance with Somebody scene from that finale

Idea for a story: this is funny because I have been technically writing a story for several months though it's from another character's pov and will probably never see the light of day... but it's set in the past and it's a lot about expectations and having your future written up for you and things about little fictional heirs that interest me. I don't really have post-canon story ideas because I'm not really that interested in what happens there but Kendall as Shiv is in the hospital giving birth behaving like Dennis in the iasip episode where Dee gives birth is always a very funny image I'd read that fic

Unpopular opinion: Kendall did not in fact Become Logan in the final season of HBO's Succession. (also people misinterpret the now infamous "the poison drips through" line but that's not so much tied to his character)

Favorite relationship: Shiv 1000000000%

Favorite headcanon: people used to have a problem with this headcanon for some reason I don't remember but he's 100% bipolar. I think the objection was that it wasn't bipolar it was substance abuse which is extremely silly. That gleam in his eye is a manic episode babes!!!!

[venicebitch00]

shiv roy x reader pls!! like i was thinking maybe angsty jealous shiv and then fluff at the end? i dont mind anything honestly i just want shiv x reader content

dress

shiv roy x reader

a/n: omg i was so worried that nobody would request shiv so i was so happy when i saw these!! i hope you don’t mind i combined the two!! kinda ended angstier than i intended too

1.4 k

Shiv Roy had a meticulous morning routine that she followed every day without fail. She woke up at 5:00 (exactly half an hour before Tom), got changed, brushed her teeth, and went on a run. After about 3 miles, and when she knew Tom had left for work, she returned home and ate breakfast while scrolling through work emails and current headlines. This morning, however, her usually peaceful routine was interrupted. By you. 

As the woman ate her breakfast bar and scrolled through various news articles she couldn't help but notice your name-making and appearance. At first, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, your family owned one of the biggest fashion houses in the country so it wasn’t a surprise that some blog would write an occasional fluff piece about the outfit you wore to fashion week or speculations about your relationship with some model or actor. And although she would never dare admit it, she would secretly save everyone to read later. But it wasn’t until she saw your name plastered on an article headline written by her very own family’s news company that her attention was caught. The article detailed that your father had announced his anticipated retirement and you would be inheriting the family company and sole CEO. 

You had met Shiv and college, you wish you could say the two of you hit it off instantly, but you both knew it was from the truth. You both came from wealthy families and were used to having to fight viciously to get a spot at the table, so naturally, an unspoken rivalry formed between you, and the constant need to outdo and impress the other grew. However as your professors began to notice this competition, the more they would pair up the two of you, and eventually over the four years, your rivalry melted into something some might call a friendship. However the passion and intensity remained and it wasn’t easy to forget the late nights spent together fueled by wine and lust, the exam that you were supposed to be helping each other study for long forgotten. 

But as graduation approached and the simplicity of the days on your college campus came to an end, so did your and Shiv’s complicated relationship. She met her prince charming, a wealthy boy from Minnesota named Tom, or as you liked to call him “farmer fuckface”. But Tom was doting, he put Shiv before everything and promised a life of stability. One that her father might be proud of. Tom was safe. Tom was everything you were not. This, however, still did not stop the twinge of hurt she felt reading about this news. She fucking the fact that she had to hear about your life in a newspaper instead of listening to you ramble and giggle endlessly while tangled in your sheets. 

And just like clockwork, as she was fighting the urge to call you your name appeared on her home screen. 

Hey, know it’s been a while but it would mean a lot if you came tonight. I miss you. 

Shiv tried not to read into the last sentence of the message and instead clicked on the attached link you sent. It was an invitation to some party your company was throwing to celebrate your new position as CEO. If it was anyone else, she would of already politely rejected the invitation and made other plans for the evening. But it wasn’t. It was you. So she began to draft her text back. 

I’ll check my calendar. 

Much to Shiv’s dismay Kendall and Roman had also received invitations and insisted on coming with her. Shiv knew of her two brothers' motivations, both had been wanting to get into your pants since she first introduced you to them all those years ago and despite all the rejections they still seemed persistent. 

Shiv Roy was not a naturally anxious person. You can’t be, not when you go into countless business meetings every day filled with dozens of perverted old men just waiting for you to screw up and more focused on your tits that the words coming out of your mouth. But tonight her stomach was erupting in butterflies. 

Right as they walked in, Roman b-lined to the open bar, and Kendall mumbled something about finding Stewy, which left Shiv standing in the middle of your party all by herself. 

“What’s a gorgeous lady like yourself standing here all alone?” 

she could recognize your teasing voice from miles away. Shiv practically snapped her head around to see you, looking as gorgeous as ever, except now more mature and adult than she remember. 

“Bonnie,” you breathed, Shiv’s heart surged at the nickname you gave her years ago after finding out her full name, Sibohan, “fuck I missed you”. You engaged the redhead in a tight hug, one that Shiv hesitantly accepted. 

Once you released, Shiv cleared her throat, “Yeah I..Fuck yeah I missed you too” 

“Come on let’s get you a drink” 

At the bar, Shiv was impressed when you still remembered her order.

“So, I’m surprised you came” 

“Oh yeah, why’s that?”

“You’ve been avoiding me”

Shiv scoffed “I have not been avoiding you”

“Come on, you have to, ever since the wedding” you, of course, referencing Shiv’s wedding to Tom. “Speak of the devil, where is farmer fuckface” 

Shiv chucked at your endearing nickname for her husband, “He’s you know, working” 

“I see” you took a sip from your martini “I’m surprised he let you come here by yourself” 

“What do you mean?”

“I think you know exactly what I mean” You peered up at her from your martini glass with a smirk. “Right well, I think I should make rounds” You fixed your hair and chugged the last bit of your drink. 

“Ah right you’re a busy CEO now aren't you” Shiv smiled, “I’ll see you later”.

Shiv watched you as you made your way around the room, greeting your guests and graciously thanking them for coming to your party. She couldn’t help a twinge of jealousy watching a bunch of strangers receiving your attention and loving praise. Her final straw was when she watched Kendall march up to you. You of course greeted him with a kind hug, one that lasted a bit too long for Shiv’s taste. She watched as he made you laugh and grazed your arm with his own. It used to be amusing to watch her brothers pathetically flirt with you all those years ago because she knew you were hers. But now it just made a pit form at the bottom of her stomach. 

Shiv chugged the last bit of the champagne she had been nursing and made her way to you. She abruptly grabbed your hand, muttering some lame excuse to Kendall about needing you for some “girl emergency” and dragged you to the nearest bathroom. 

Her lips were on yours the moment she locked the door, and your hands wasted no time getting lost in her short hair. 

“Aw what’s a matter Shivy, got a little jealous out there” you pouted her lip at her

“Oh fuck off” she murmured as you began to leave kissing down her neck, to her collarbone. 

“Missed this, missed you”. You felt Shiv’s hands begin to trail down your back, slowly unzipping your dress “Wait, fuck” you mumbled against her lips “What about Tom?”

“I’ve talked to him”

“About us?” you raised a brow.

“No, well, no not exactly. I’ve told him I want a more open relationship,” she stated matter-of-factly. 

“Wow, who knew Shiv Roy was so progressive” You started to kiss her again “What’s next, buying a van and starting a nomadic life?” 

“Oh shut up” you could practically feel her eyes rolling, “and since when did you ever care about Tom?” 

You looked up at her once more, “I just-” you paused, “Fuck, never mind”. You caved and reunited her lips with yours.

You realized this was a battle you were not going to win anytime soon. Before Shiv was your “Bonnie”, she was always going to be “Shiv Roy of Waystar Royco”, and your relationship just didn’t fit into that part of her life. Neither of you was ready to admit how much you meant to one another, so you would just pretend that it didn’t matter. And you figured if you got burned, at least you were electrified. 

[watchfuldeer]

“in the alternate universe where eps 8-9-10 didn’t get rewritten”

Wait, rewritten how?? May I ask? Should I?

i wrote way too much sorry

they were rewritten to include shiv being pregnant, which hadn't been written into the season until that point. everything in 8-9-10 relating to shiv's pregnancy was an extremely hasty last minute addition, which is why it made no damn sense narratively when they dropped it into the beginning of 4.04, in a scene they filmed towards the end of shooting. every person who said in the interim between s3 and s4, shiv is not fucking pregnant, was in fact entirely correct, and they didn't plan to write it at all and it sticks out like a sore thumb in terms of succession's otherwise quite delicate plotting. which is especially disappointing given the huge payoff that paying close attention had during s3.

so, it scuppered their plot big time, but they just about clawed it together, if you ignore like. every emotional beat between episodes 1-7 lol. which is a real shame! i'm sure jesse had good intentions. but yeah, that's why they were rewritten. i think 8 and 10 weren't even rewritten to a substantial degree, but 9 is hanging by a thread in terms of cohesion - it's the only episode where they had any time to put 'oh shiv is also having a baby' scenes in, and reading the scripts it's just so clear that other stuff not only hit the cutting room floor but got swept away completely. connor is pretty much a non-entity after 4.08, for instance.

as for tom and greg (and shiv and matsson, and greg and matsson, and that whole mess of a love square) i think reading between the lines there are things missing. i can't say for sure what they were, but the script books were highly edited for publication, and no way is jesse ever going to personally give me a straight answer to the question 'what was shiv's actual arc in s4, before it became She Is Pregnant', or 'why did you prevaricate in the edit on tomgreg and tomshiv to the detriment of both, but mostly at the expense of tom, which felt really weird while watching the season because where the fuck did he go'. and yet, i think the denouement for both was really fucking good. stuck the landing despite taking a bizarre, last minute route there.

but yeah, if tom and greg did bang, it was 4.09. because the final scene for tom and shiv in 4.09 > first scene for tom and shiv in 4.10 makes very very little sense for either of them. it's like something else happened for tom at the end of 4.09 than what we saw. because the beginning of the finale he's with greg like yeah we're divorcing byeeeeee, and like wouldn't that have a lot more weight if he'd done anything other than be so eepy at logan's wake, while greg was crawling on his knees for tom to mencken and had that deleted scene with ewan. wouldn't greg almost betraying tom in the finale be higher stakes if they'd slept together, wouldn't it be more obvious and devastating that tom invites shiv into the car because she's suddenly more useful as his wife because of the decision she made at the vote... i simply think it would have been delicious.

huge caveat that this is just my thoughts. just my lil ol theories and thots. i read scripts and think about this stuff alot and have kept an eye on behind the scenes shenanigans. maybe shiv slept with matsson instead! maybe greg did! idk! but there are hanging threads that were snipped imo, rather than wonky plotting from the outset.

[empressofmankind]

Things I enjoyed about writing my Crocodile/female!OC smut, in no particular order:

If you had to imagine the walking, talking embodiment of all Buggy's insecurities (imo), I feel like you'd get Sir Crocodile, and that's pretty much how I went into writing him. I set out to absolutely maximize Buggy's: "Oh no, her ex is (insert self-deprecating qualifier) than me". You know, tall(er), confident, masculine, accomplished, infamous, intimidating, actually scary, redundantly rich, pretty conventionally attractive and the scar just adds to the sex appeal. He has a voice like that, and no doubt a way with women? He's even near perfected his control over his devil fruit powers! Absolutely aces the whole Bounty Hunting business thing. Rolls in and out the Grand Line like it's his backyard. He's even better at being Disney-levels of evil! Complete with a better villain laugh. How dare. How dare he absolutely nail most of everything Bugs covets? Poor Buggy. The fact that his girlfriend is technically still married to the jackass is just an extra kick in the gut while he's down, tbh. Basically, if Bugs were a piniata, this is currently my stick of choice to go at him with. I just keep finding new aspects for Bugs to be insecure about and it doesn't matter how often Shivs tells him not to worry about it.

As you know, I wrote the whole thing first in three sits, ignoring most of the limb logistics. And then I went in and revoked hand privileges. That sucked? But it was also kind of fun to then try and either make it work with one hand and/or integrate his hook. Some of the instances actually got far better with it: neck pulling, ahoy! is a big one, hitching up clothing for a close second, but also being casually threatening for no apparent reason (and then for a really apparent reason, omg). Croc seems to lean towards preferring to use his hand, and sometimes he misses having two of them for this and I tried to show that. I mean, I get it - hands have tactile sensation. Plus, we wouldn't want to kill her. Not at this point in the timeline.

God tier banter, if I may say so myself. I specifically enjoy writing (sexual) banter, but I feel like I've outdone myself here. Their beats are also pretty even-handed and so well attuned to eachother, like this isn't their first verbal rodeo, this is the end stage mega evolution of years of practise.

The way Shivs walked into her ex's office with the intention of manipulating him with sex, but did so while explicitly and recognisably wearing her current boyfriend's clothes. Balls of steel, this girl. But, she knew who she was confronting. If he turned out at all amenable to her scheme, he'd want her out of these rags stat. And that was five free steps in the direction she was meaning to go. In addition, I am a firm believer of him being a high-key closeted bisexual and we all know what they say when boys excessively pick on you. All it takes is squinting just right and imagining her with a different hair colour, and that just made me chortle. I am probably the whole target audience for this, but yolo.

The way his pet name use corresponds to his emotional headspace, apparently. I wasn't doing this intentionally, but I noticed during editing. He says 'doll' a lot (a grand total of 14 times, jfc), uses it the way guys tend to use 'babe'. I felt doll suited him, perhaps because I strongly associate it with Noir films, older Bond & Mafia movies, and crime bosses in general. Showing my age there, maybe. Then he also uses 'sweetheart' quite a few times (9 iirc), and I am pretty sure he does so in an endearing manner. Lowering those emotional walls a teeny tiny bit as fondness seeps through. And then, like, once or twice, he uses 'honey'. And, again, I feel like he uses it in an older manner, the way stereotypically a husband fondly refers to his wife. It feels intimate. Like he briefly forgets all of this is dust? I think about that a lot.

Did you notice how she doesn't use any terms of endearment? I did wonder if she had any, but I felt like she wouldn't use them. Not at this point. Not any more. She loves Bugs. She did slip up once though, did you notice? She is the queen of mildly awkward nicknames.

It may not seem so at first pass, and it's certainly not super obvious, but it seems to me like he's trying pretty hard to put Shivs' relationship goals bar somewhere on the roof. He wants nothing and no one to be able to even remotely compare to him, especially not the clown. So he throws everything at this that he can? Which, arguably, is mostly material because that's in his nature and fundamentally how he interacts with and relates to the world and people around him. But you saw how fast he was to gtfo that couch the minute she alluded to any part of this being cheap (Mediocre? Sub-standard? Blasé?). Does he genuinely not want to cheapen the whole thing? Or can he just not stand the idea of her thinking this whole thing is cheap? Or both? I suppose these aren't mutually exclusive.

I like that she can make him laugh, and vice versa. They've got really solid chemistry, dammit.

Two people that just really enjoy smoking. Like, they are Smokers with a capital S. That's a whole relationship dynamic unto itself. I am really pleased with how I managed to actively integrate it into their shenanigans. It was a lot of fun and something unique to them.

The way he just repeatedly fails at trying to engage her in a little girl dynamic. Was that a thing in the past? They had (and have) a fairly notable age difference (7-8 years, give or take). And he takes it so well when she just, doesn't play along or only does so for like five entire seconds, or blatantly wields it against him. Poor guy. Just spank her already, I know you want to.

The way Shivs goes from being mildly nervous and quite determined to: 'Oh fuck, I'd forgotten how good this actually used to be'. Like, been there, done that, didn't end well. But man, it's a mood.

Press F in the chat for the fact that she only had one orgasm in this whole thing, and it barely took the edge off. Jerk knew what he was doing. It's a power play, of course.

Sneaking in background information and then doing absolutely nothing with it. Like the comment he makes regarding both their facial scars. But also every time either of them alludes to their past relationship but doesn't actually tell us anything.

Mihawk is a wine aunt. Even Crocodile seems to think so. I am sorry, I don't make the rules.

The part where he just happens to have things on hand that she either likes (i.e. that specific brand of cigarillo's his company makes) or that fit her way too precisely (i.e. that outrageously swaggy negligee). This dude is not OK. My man, if you still know your ex' dress sizes this well after several years, you need to do some introspection. And maybe see a therapist.

The infamous fancy panties were originally a gift from him, and she evidently kept them these past years? I am not sure what makes me frown deeper: the fact that she still has them, or the fact that he immediately recognised them. I don't think she was necessarily wearing them on purpose? She does really like them and wears them often. RIP those undies. I think she's way more upset about losing them than she lets on. I wonder if she'll accept new one(s)? I suspect she may, something about gift horses. Maybe he figures? Maybe that's the point. A renewal of something. A visual reminder of the casual control he can exert over her when he wants to. It may seem insignificant (she will definitely not overthink it), but underwear is very private and intimate. He's staking a claim even without particularly saying so. But I am sure every other man in the room will figure that one out. (Counting on Mihawk to say it out loud in that bored drawl of his. The Bisexuals Straights Are At It Again.) Doubly so if they're particularly prone to feeling insecure. Poor Bugs. Just take this one lying down, you silly clown. She wants them because she thinks you'll like them and she knows neither of you can gdamn afford anything remotely like it.

Did you notice she isn't truly naked at any point? Partially undressed, yes. A little exposed, also. But not naked. Meanwhile, he's stomping around in his bare ass half the fic. I like how he gave her something nice to wear and then didn't take it off.

At this point, I feel like he gets pants problems the minute she calls him 'sir', no matter the context. Some things just get sexy tainted forever, and there's no going back, lmao.

The unnecessarily expensive details. I had so much fun with those? The layout and details of his office and bedroom, for one. Both their smokes are implied to be well out of Shivs paygrade. Any brands come to mind? Or take the wine, for example. Can you guess which one I am referencing? And the lace - I am from a traditional lace-making area. Handmade lace was and is hella expensive. Don't even start about lace featuring custom tailored designs. There was absolutely no need to throw this much Beli at the nearest wall. But he did it anyway, because he does it all the time.

The way he keeps verbally reminding her of how different things used to be. For the better, in his opinion, of course. Like, are we casually trading favours here, or are you trying something?

On that count, did you notice how often Shivs is actually thinking about Buggy in this? At no point is he far from her thoughts, it seems.

I didn't set out with this mindset, but based on how the whole thing came out - I think Crocodile might miss her (or the idea of her) ? At any rate, I don't think he's OK. You stupid dick. You self-marooned on this island of misery and now it's too late. No changies, no takebacksies.

I came up with the title post-fact. Maybe it's his thoughts, not hers?

[loverrofmineee]

The Parting Glass - Robert "Rosie" Rosenthal x OC

AO3 | Summary | Chapter 1

Chapter 2- Pilots and Prayers

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first mission for the new crew’s came after a couple of days, giving them time to settle in, but not enough to keep the nerves away. Sorcha could feel the anticipation radiating off of each new face she passed, as the men were eager, or terrified, to go up in the air. She gave each man a small smile in a feeble attempt to ease their anxieties, but there was only so much a pretty face could do.

Bremen was the target of the men’s first mission, which made Sorcha extremely anxious. She was privy to what the plans for the mission were, as the men in the tower talked freely, nearly forgetting the women were there. Each person working in the tower offices agreed to keep quiet about anything they overheard, as it was to be confidential until the crews were told. However, that didn’t stop Sorcha and her bunkmates from discussing their fears quietly into the night. Eventually, the mission day came, and what the new men had been waiting for became real.

Once all the meetings had been finished, Sorcha stood outside the tower alongside Aileen, Lilibet, Anika, and Siobhan. They had been dubbed ‘The Tower Girls’ since they all worked within the tower offices, and were the closest group out of all their bunkmates. As they did with every mission, the girls stood beside the tower, gazing at the crews getting ready to take off. No one ever got on them for leaving the office, since paperwork could be filed at any time, and everyone at the base often left their desks to see the men off.

Siobhan was the first to break the group's contemplative silence, “Do you think they’ll make it?”

“They have to, Shiv. They just have to,” Aileen stated in a matter-of-fact tone. She was the optimist of the group, always believing in the best-case scenario no matter what. Sorcha admired her for it, given that optimism ran low during these times.

“All we can do is hope and pray,” Sorcha comforted Aileen as she squeezed her hand, “They’re some of the best pilots up there, all they can do is stick to their training.”

The girls went silent again as the first fort took off, watching the line of planes exit the tarmac and head into the sky. Even though Sorcha had seen many crews come and go, the pit of anxiety in her chest never left as she saw them take off. She didn’t know every man personally but felt a sense of care for them. Maybe it was because she couldn’t be there for Cormack, not knowing if he had someone to care for him at Kings Cliffe, so she took it upon herself to pray for every crew at Thorpe Abbotts, not wanting them to feel alone.

—-----------------------------------------—

Once all of the forts had gone, the rest of Sorcha’s friends had gone inside, but she had opted to stay out for a few minutes. This mission felt different than the others she had witnessed, now having friendships with the men going up. She and Buck had become fast friends over the weeks, chatting at the officer’s club when Bucky had become too much for them, (though they loved him all the same). Benny had a growing interest in Anika, and turned to Sorcha for advice on how to handle it, taking long walks with Meatball as she gave him tips. She felt that so much was at stake for this mission, needing a few moments to herself to control her spiraling thoughts.

A great distraction came her way in the form of John Egan, who scared her half to death by sneaking up on her. “Jesus, John,” Sorcha spit out as she slapped her hand over her heart, “Never pop up like that again.”

“Using my actual name? Sounds like you’re mad at me Devs,” Bucky said with a half-teasing grin, “I was just wondering if you’d like to take a ride with me?”

Sorcha opened her mouth to give the man a retort about having to work but then debated the question as she saw how nervous Bucky seemed. There was no teasing cadence in his words, only an earnest tone. “Sure, Bucky,” She said softly, “Let’s go.”

Bucky only smiled in return for her answer, walking over to his Jeep and waiting for the Devlin girl to get in. The two were silent for the majority of the ride, both lost in their thoughts. Sorcha knew Egan was worrying about Buck the most, and wondered how to approach the subject. Though Bucky broke the silence first, “You ever wonder why Buck’s called Buck?”

“Honestly,” Sorcha started as Bucky spared her a glance, “All the time.”

“You’ve never asked though,” Egan stated as he threw a curious look her way.

“I just thought it’d come up one day. I know well enough not to poke around trying to find out the secrets of you two.”

A bark of laughter came from Bucky at her statement, causing the car to swerve for a moment. “You’re a smart girl Devs. But Buck’s seriously never told you? Don’t think I don’t notice the two of you chatting it up at the officer’s club when you want to get away from me.” “Who knew you were so attentive?”

“Only when it comes to the two of you,” Bucky stated, his true emotions shining through, “but only because I fear you’re both plotting something against me. Or Buck is tarnishing my good name.”

Sorcha chuckled at his retort, understanding that Bucky was quick to hide any semblance of real emotion that came out of him. “I believe your good name was tarnished long before Buck arrived. Seeing as you’ve flirted with nearly every woman on the base.”

“Are you gonna make me apologize for appreciating the beautiful women that reside here?”

“God, you’re so-”

“Handsome, charismatic, the best air exec you’ve ever seen?”

Sorcha’s head fell back as she laughed at Bucky’s words, causing the man to pull a face of offense. “I think you’re talking to the wrong woman about this. Have Aileen take my place and you’ll hear all the right answers.”

A small blush spread across Bucky’s face at the mention of Aileen, not going unnoticed by Sorcha. “As friends of both of you, I’m only encouraging that you try to at least have a simple conversation with her.” Sorcha spoke as they headed back to the tower, “There’s no harm in that, is there?”

“No ma’am,” Bucky said as he accepted his fate, knowing he couldn’t argue against Sorcha.

“Well then,” Sorcha started as the car came to a stop, “I will see you soon Major. Hopefully, after you’ve gained some courage.” Bucky protested at her insinuation, but Sorcha didn’t stay to hear his argument, giggling as she walked back to the office.

—-----------------------------------------—

The Bremen mission was many of the men’s first brush with death. Out of the 19 forts that left, only 15 returned. Statistically, it was not that bad of a mission, but the men had gotten their first taste of loss during the war.

Sorcha was in the middle of filing navigation reports from previous missions when she heard the sirens. All the women in the office looked at each other with fear in their eyes, believing the worst for a moment. The air execs and senior personnel all rushed outside, preparing for what would come next as the wheels of each plane hit the ground.

“Should we-” Anika started to speak but was silenced as Lilibet shook her head.

“We need to be here,” Lilibet’s tone was strong, as she had been in the war much longer than the other girls since she was from Cambridge. “I know what we’re all thinking, but we know what our duty is, to stay at our desks and do whatever is required. We’ll hear which forts came back soon enough.”

Sorcha nodded her head at her friend’s words, though she wished she could see if her boys were still alive. All she could do was hope and pray.