#and the fact that half the people in Florida are old as dirt and the government's trying to ban dictionaries doesn't help

[mythology-void]

I AM GOING TO SET EVERY PLANE IN THE ATMOSPHERE ON FIRE

[internalsealpanic]

Merzost’

Summary:   Merzost’. Abomination. Monster.

a/n: This is mostly a character building piece for reader in my False Face Au with Good Dad! Bruce and Good Big Brother! Dick. This piece is slightly depressing but here it is. I would very much like to thank @knightfall05x for proof reading, putting up with my nonsense and convincing me to post this. Please ignore the blatant use of google translate. 

TW: Attempted solicitation of a minor, trauma, and gore. 

masterlist

Merzost’.

 Abomination. 

 That is what the old woman called you. 

 It wasn’t your unusual gait or your unnaturally fluorescent eyes or even the fact that you could feel the press and pull of minds just as easily as you felt the heat radiate off another human.  

 No, you could see it in her clouded eyes and the way she shivered in your presence. She was old. She was an old woman in Gotham. She knew what death smelled like and oh, how it rolled off of you like a thick miasma. Dripping thick and suffocating. 

 No, no, it was none of those blemishes. It was something more… fundamental, unshakeable. Something you could not slough off as it nestled and stewed under your skin. 

 Even now, you can still feel the heft and weight of the old woman’s terror as she gazed at you. 

 You tried to smother the smile that ripples through your features. 

 As it carved itself on your lips, a cold sort of fear engulfed you. 

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 Your mind spent far too much of your time in someone else’s skin that crawling back to your own felt wrong. Your mind and body roiled against each other. Blistering. Scraping. Scorching. Peeling away from each other as they are forcefully melded back together into an awkward human-like shape. 

 It was an odd feeling, a feeling of permanence and solidness that felt completely foreign to you.

 But this wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want their eyes. Not raking over your still roiling flesh. Not carving, inspecting, appraising. Pausing too long at your leg, smiling knowing it made you weak. Your stomach rebelled, twisting. You felt sick. You hated these moments. You hated when you and whatever this nervous scared thing this was blended together. 

 “You’ll be so pretty when you grow up,” the man whispered to you. The excitement in his eyes made your skin itch. You swore there were boils forming on your skin.  This was the only time your mind and body coalesced when your skin tore itself away from uninvited touch. 

 The man grasped your face with large calloused hands, squishing the loose tufts of your hair to your skin- prickling. It made the itch on your skin worsen, the unsettling boil in your gut more pronounced. Men like him, when they looked at you, soaking up the sight of you with hungry eyes, they saw your mother-soft, shining undine. Less of the knife-toothed ruskla you knew she was.

  Or maybe they did know. 

 Maybe this is why they-

 “You’ll be so so pretty, baby,”

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 Your mother held you tight. The smell of lilac in her hair was almost salient enough to overcome the pungent odor of copper in the air. 

 “Shhhhhhh. Shhhhh, It’s ok now-” She whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on your brow. “Mama’s got you. It’s ok.”

 Her words rang hollow and stark in contrast to the death rattle echoing from the man on the tiled floor of your kitchen. His intact eye still staring at you as your mother smoothed your hair with her blood-covered hand. 

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From the way your skin itched, you could tell Jeffrey Woodfield was a monster. Not the fun -movie kind with cheap latex masks so fake it made the pink flamingos in Florida look like the genuine article. Now that you thought about it, you really would rather be in Florida right now. The weather would be warm, your joints would ache a lot less, Disney Land probably didn’t get half as many clown attacks, and there would be sooooo many old people to scam. 

 “Baby,” he whispered huskily into your ear, sliding his filthy hands up your waist and keeping you planted firmly against the brick wall. You could practically feel the hives begin to pucker at your hips. Your breaths were shallow and nervous as he presses your small body into the wall. You asked him to leave you alone. You asked him to give you space.  You thought about screaming or asking for help or anything but the way your lungs shrink into your chest made it hard to so much as a squeak.   

 This wasn’t happening. 

 You were 13. 

 This wasn’t happening. 

 Behind Jeffrey, you saw your mother, gore ladden and goddamn beautiful. She smiled, lips painted red and slick with fresh blood. Man or pig’s, it did not matter. To her there was no difference. Man or pig, they both squeal. 

  You could feel everything in you unfurl and relax. Mother was here. No, no. She wasn’t.  Logically, you knew she was somewhere else. Where that somewhere was you hoped it was at least 6 feet under the dirt. For everyone’s sake. 

 But with your mother there you knew what to do. Muscle memory whirred to life and suffused throughout your body. Fluttering your long lashes and running your small hands up his chest, you felt him bend toward your touch, leaning low enough for you to cup his face in your hands. 

 You measured the odds.

  His neck was too thick to snap. You bit back a snarl of frustration. 

 You slid yourself along the brick wall, inching both of you towards the dumpster. 

 “Acting shy now?” he breathed against your skin sounding like a panting bulldog. You could feel the hives pucker there too. You struggled to keep your face carefully sculpted, not letting any of the fear and disgust slip out. 

 He led the way, pulling you off the wall keeping a death grip on your wrist. A manic smile, too wide, too full of teeth stretches across your lips when he grabs your non-dominant hand.  Using your good foot, you scooped up a brick and snatched it with your free hand. You tugged at your wrist nearly wrenching yourself free. He kept a steady grip on you. It didn’t matter. He turned to you snarling, impatient. You slammed the brick into his face.

 He 

 Went

 Down

 With a satisfying thud, he was on the ground. The joints in your leg and hip twinged, screaming for you to run but the feeling of bone cracking beneath the force of your blow thrummed pleasantly through the twitching muscles of your hands. It felt fresh and satisfying. 

 “Solnechnyy svet, we do not leave things half done,”

 You stalked towards the groaning heap of flesh, grabbing the discarded brick. You weren’t weak by any means. But your mother had taught you well. 

 All you needed to do now was finish what you started. 

 Straddling his chest, fingers laced together around the brick, 

 You slammed the brick down. Another satisfying crunch echoes in the empty alley. Giddy laughter bubbles in your chest. A sort of manic excitement took over your body. 

 You felt alive. You feel the rush even as shattered teeth carve deep gashes into the flesh of your knuckles. Your mind lashed out soaking up the pain that radiated off of him. 

 Distantly, you can hear him beg. He’s pleading for his life. He’s begging you to stop. 

 You should stop. 

 For him?

 Did he when you asked? 

 They only stop when they’re like this. Twitching and bleeding. 

 “Merzost’,” came the old woman’s frail voice cutting through the vicious thoughts in your mind.  

 The high vanished. It left you cold. Cold and solid.

 The puckering of your skin returned. 

 You looked at your shaking hands. Blood dripping, still trembling from a mix of nervousness and exhilaration. 

 The air thinned. 

 Your mother’s painted lips curled into a sweet smile. Her eyes softened as she reached for you. You could almost feel her carding her hand through your hair, gently running the tips of her fingers over your scalp.  Her hands slid down to cup your face. Your unnatural eyes meet. 

 “Just like mama,”

 Your senses failed you. 

 The next few minutes were a slapdash combination of colors and sounds. 

 The wash out grey of Gotham tainted with red. 

 The echo of shoes against pavement. 

 Your breath came out in puffs. 

 You felt sick. 

 Everything ached. 

 Why were you outside? 

 You had piano lessons.

  No, that was last week. 

 No, it was today. 

 No, it was-

 The fresh, deep gashes running up the length of your hand throbbed angrily, still bleeding. You could probably ask Alfie to-

 Fuck. 

 Fuck. 

 Alfie was going to kill you. He was going to kill you and cut you up and- 

 Wait. Where were you? 

 You look around at the dilapidated buildings. Your breath picked up when you took it all in. 

 How did you end up in Crime Alley? 

 You bring your injured hands to your mouth 

 Fuck. 

 Fuck. 

 Fuck. 

 Breathe. 

You shoved your hands into your pockets, violently rummaging through the seemingly endless expanse of space provided by the jeans you’d stolen from Dick’s wardrobe. 

Why were guy pockets so much bigger? 

Wait, why were you even wearing these? 

You shook your head as you finally fished out your phone. 

Dried blood still covered your hands. 

Your stomach fell. 

Bruce wouldn’t take you back. 

No. 

Not when you’re just like your mother. Your hands move to your face feeling the remnants of the manic smile still pressed into your features. Your stomach cartwheels. 

You’re just another one of Gotham’s monsters. 

Bruce might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, and, sure, the guy has a bleeding heart-

The phone’s shrill ring drags her mind kicking and screaming back to the present. 

Should you answer? 

Should you leave it?

Whatever you’re gonna do you really shouldn’t do it in the middle of the street, looking dazed and confused and way out of yourself. Quickly ducking into an alleyway and slipping behind a dumpster, you curled into herself before pulling out your phone. 

 “Where are you?!” Dick practically shouted over the phone. 

Oh fantastic, it’s boy blunder big brother wanna be extraordinaire. 

. From the way he sounds, he’s probably grappling or running roof to roof. 

“Parker Row, I think,” You slapped your hand against your forehead. Why did you tell him? 

“Parker-”

“Hold on, lemme check-” You peeked your head out just enough to see the mouth of the alleyway which didn’t show much. At least, not in any remotely distinguishable way. 

Wait. Why were you even giving him your location? He’s just gonna throw you in Arkham. You swallowed thinking of all the minds you didn’t want anywhere near yours. Your pulse faltered. The thought of your mind melding with any of the rogues made you absolutely wanna crawl out of your skin. You wanted to leave it behind. You absolutely just wanted to make a break for it.  

To be fair, considering what you just did, you probably belonged in a cell there. Maybe not next to any of the rogues but if you had to pick one, Poison Ivy. Definitely. 

“(y/n), I’m serious, where are you? Bruce and Alfred are worried sick,”

You bit your lip. Worrying them was the last thing you wanted to do but there was also the fact that you just nearly murdered a man and possibly murdered him since you didn’t call for an ambulance. 

You tried to dredge up any sort of guilt for your actions but you really couldn’t find any. You really couldn’t manage much. You didn’t feel bad for putting him down. He was a fucking asshole and he was gonna do that to someone else. You weren’t about to apologize for rearranging a creeper's face. But you were sorry about the brutality of it. You hated how cathartic each blow felt. How righteous the violence felt.

The image of red lips flashed across your mind. Another wave of nausea rolled over you. 

You let out a breath. You were surprised at how dry it sounded. Considering how thick your throat felt, you expected a sob to come out. It sounded like a huff.  It even sounded oddly petulant to you. It probably sounded like that to Dick too since he let out an exasperated huff of his own. You were a little glad for it. 

“I’ll try to look for something,” 

“No. Stay put. If you’re in the Alley-”

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s not safe for me to wander around alone in the Alley. You and B don’t have to keep telling me,”

“Considering where you are…."

This wouldn’t really be much of an issue if your dumbass legs didn’t take you there for God knows what reason. 

“Lecture me later. Yanno when I’m in the safety of an overly plush couch where I can drape over dramatically as you each deliver your 500-word monologue about my dumbassery and I pretend to listen,”

“Please tell me you’ve actually done that to Alfred,”

“Do I sound brain dead to you?”

“Do you want an answer to that?”

“Fuck you,”

“Love you too, baby sis~”

Not for long. 

You really loved your big brother. It was hard not to. He was too damned caring and sincere not to. 

The knots in your stomach tightened at the idea of Dick not being your big brother anymore. You wanted to cry. But he was already stressed as it was and having you crying into his ear would have exacerbated that. 

Maybe they’ll at least feed Anatolii once they kick you out. Or maybe Arkham will let you keep him.

“How did you manage to take out your tracker?”

“What tracker?”

“Wait, has B somehow not gotten into your stuff yet?”

“No and I stole some of your old clothes”

“What? Why?”

That is a good question that someone should have asked you around 3 hours ago.

“What tracker?” You repeated trying to redirect the question to something more concerning. 

“You know how B is paranoid,”

“Ah,”

“Yeah,”

You smiled at the easy understanding. 

“I think I see you,”

You waved your hands over your head as his silhouette dropped down from the fire escape. You rushed over to hug him, practically tackling him in the process. Looking down at you clearly very surprised by your sudden affection, Dick doesn’t question it and simply holds you. You bit your lip and blinked rapidly feeling the tears gathering in your eyes.  

“You’re injured,”

“You’re in tights. What’s your point?”

“YOU HAVE GASHES ON YOUR HANDS”

“And you should really consider getting your name changed to Captain Obvious,”

“Y/n…..”

You hugged him tighter trying to shrink. It was a manipulative tactic but you knew it would work. Your skin started to dot with angry hives where your body made contact with his. You could already feel your face getting mottled with red bumps.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” The bumps spread to your neck. You could tell  Dick could see them when his breath hitched and his grip on you loosened. 

Both of you knew that the hives were nothing more than a psychosomatic reaction but Dick really couldn’t help but worry. You greatly appreciated his concern. You really did but letting go meant looking him in the eyes. Looking him in the eyes meant talking. Talking meant telling the truth. You just couldn't stand the idea of it, so you let your skin blister.  

“What’s wrong, kiddo?”Dick asked, giving your hair three quick pats before smoothing it over in a comforting gesture. It nearly made you burst into tears. Your control over that was wearing thin. You shook your head not trusting your voice not to come out frail. “C’mon you can tell your big bro,” He coaxed, nervousness edging into his voice. You shook your head again. 

Dick sighed. 

“Can I at least get you to Doc. Leslie’s clinic?” 

You weighed your options. 

And weighed them again.

And again. 

Calculating the odds but you were too tired.

Too rung out.  

Whatever is going to happen will happen. You nodded into his shoulder. Dick’s shoulders loosened. His hands moved up to squeeze your shoulders but pulled away quickly like you’d burned him. 

“Can you walk?” He asked gently. You hummed in answer. He let out a breath and shook his head. Your shoulders eased at that and you relinquished your grip. 

 You two began the slow walk towards the clinic, hand in hand. The silence pooled uncomfortably. You felt the anxiety whirring in Dick’s body even as you walked. Your mind reached out to him.  You wanted to reassure him that you were ok but you were a terrible liar when it came to your family. You knew the world of horrendous possibilities that was swirling in Dick’s head. He dealt with the worst the world has to offer on a nightly basis. His guilt and worry licked at your consciousness like a fire spreading too quickly. Your skin buzzed with irritation. Still, you tapped your index and middle finger against the back of his hand. It took you far too long to realize that that gesture meant nothing to Dick. Your eyes widened, mind racing through all the possible ways to do damage control. But when Dick simply reciprocated the gesture, you finally started crying. 

Doc. Leslie giving you a mouthful was expected. What you didn’t count on was her swatting you over the head when you refused to tell her what happened. 

“It was a Racoon, I swear,” You said, earning you a swat over your head. Dick was snickering at the edge of your periphery. You stuck your tongue out at him which he returned in kind. Doc. Leslie looked between the two of you and ran her hand over her face. Her blood pressure was going through the roof. Doc. Leslie leveled you a stern look one only Alfred could match. You shrank and let her inspect the rest of your skin. It was still mottled from the hug but Doc. Leslie was familiar enough with your condition to distinguish it from any other abnormalities. 

Your mother might not have trusted hospitals but even she could see that Doc. Leslie was trustworthy. Or at least, competent enough.  

“I’m gonna call, B-”

“NO-” You screamed shooting up from the exam table, your eyes blown wide and wild with fear. “Please don’t call, Da- don’t call, B-” Dick looked at you, brow furrowed, his hand reaching out for you. You didn’t shrink away. Instead, for once, your mind pressed back. His face twisted in mild discomfort. “You can’t, Dick. Please. You- please.” You sounded pathetic even to your own ears. Your mind pressed again. This time Dick winced in pain. You flinched back, your mind retreating.

“Dick- I-” You had hurt him. You had hurt him. 

You have become something intolerable. You have become what you have always been.  

Merzost’. 

Abomination. 

Monster. 

You felt all the adrenaline from the past few hours leave you all at once. The room felt like it was swimming and shifting. You tried to mouth an apology but your tongue simply flailed uselessly failing you in such a crucial moment. 

The world faded and you heard yourself collapse onto the floor rather than feeling it. 

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The (h/c) haired woman towered over you. You were weeping and begging as you bleed on to the kitchen. You sniveled letting snot, drool, tears, and blood pool at the side of your face. At that moment, you were what the woman thought you were, a pathetic animal. Two sets of incandescent eyes bear down on you-one pitiless and one too young to truly comprehend what's happening.

You look into your own uncomprehending eyes as you bled out on the floor. 

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You woke up wild. 

Your arms flung over your face. 

Your flesh was raw.

Your breath was short. 

The world around you was muted against the memory. 

Piece by piece the world fell back into place. 

There was a monitor beeping beside you. The air smelled of antiseptic, not copper nor lilac. Your breaths slowed. 

Piece by piece you retrieved yourself from the nightmare. 

You shifted and settled into bed, remembering clearly now where you were. You were at Doc. Leslie’s. You weren’t in the apartment on Main or the house on Orange or Wayne Manor. You were in the clinic. You were safe. 

“It’s ok, y/n. You’re safe now, sweetheart. It’s ok.” You felt a large hand smoothing over your sweat-soaked hair, stroking your head gently. Your muscles uncoiled and you let yourself melt into the mattress. Your skin did not prickle. 

In the complete darkness of the room, your mind searched for him. Bruce looms over you, towering but unimposing as he usually did. His mind radiated of worry, of warmth, of kindness. You were going to be sick. 

“Papa?” You rasped. The word must have sounded like a shattering plate to Bruce because he froze. A cocktail of emotions seemed to swirl in his mind. You desperately wanted to take the word back but you wanted to call him that just once before he carted you off wherever it was you belonged. You did not wait for his mind to pick whichever unpleasant emotions it decided on. You were resigned to whatever fate was in store for you but you weren’t one to sit idly by and wait for it. 

“Pa- B- I- I-” You tightened your fists around the threadbare blanket in frustration. Your mind was well aware of what it had to lose by saying this. It was once again the loss of love and you honestly didn’t know if you could take that but knowledge, the waiting for the inevitable, felt far more agonizing at the moment.  “B, I- Woodfield.” At that, Bruce’s brow furrowed visibly through the cowl. His mind finally settled on confusion. The loss of discordance put you at ease. 

“Woodfield,” He repeated quietly. The gears turning in his head. His expression grew grimmer by the second. You could feel your life falling apart. It was no surprise that Bruce had already heard of what had happened to him. “Why would you go after him alone? Are you ok?”

Alone? 

You blinked at Bruce. You furrowed your brow. 

“Did he hurt you?”

“No,” You were certain but the answer came out wobbly and unsure. Bruce gave you a stern look, but your mind was far too preoccupied to actually react to it.

What did he mean by alone? 

You’ve been talking cases with Bruce for the last week, pestering him about letting you help out by sorting through documents. Being the fresh eyes for the case. 

Then you stumbled on Woodfield’s file. Then? Then what? 

You were in an alley. Your stomach revolted to prevent any more memories. 

Your arms shot up grabbing Bruce’s and pulling yourself up with what little strength you had. “Bruce, I ki-”

“He’s in the hospital-” You stared at Bruce searching his face for something. Whatever it was you couldn’t find it. You expected to feel some kind of relief. After all, you didn’t kill a man. You still maimed him. Your mind supplied unhelpfully. 

“Are you ok?” Bruce repeated.

“No,” You answered honestly. You felt numb. With a war of emotions clamoring in your chest, you simply stared at a wall.  You felt the bed dip. Bruce was now sitting beside you. You pulled your knees to your chest and bury your face into your arms. You couldn’t stand to look at him. You just- Your mind reached out. The shape and texture of his thoughts weren’t jagged. They were heavy. Heavy but not crushing. The bumps and little prickles of concern confused you. 

“B- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I tried to stop but- but he- I-”

Bruce pulled his cape off and wrapped it around you, the solid weight of it gathering you into something solid. It was a silent comforting gesture. From one affection allergic person to another. You gripped the cape, lip wobbling. You turned to Bruce expecting to see his eyes cold and calculating, the kind of eyes that sussed out your weaknesses. But when you actually looked at them, Bruce’s eyes only betrayed concern. You felt like you’ve been sucker-punched. 

Bruce placed a large hand on your head. Bruce looked at you as you were, a scared kid. Not a thing or an abomination or a monster. You were just a kid.  And with that, you conceded. You scooted closer. Hesitantly, resting your head on his arm. Bruce made no attempt to pull you into a hug and you thanked whatever was up there for that.  

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a/n: To anyone in my tag list who just wanted fluff, I am so fucking sorry. To anyone who had to read this in general, I apologize but I just wanted to write this.  Thank you for reading.  

Tag list:  @batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes,  @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-horizon11, @arestorationofbalance (Thanks for the push), @cloudie-skay 

[trippydwarf]

Revised, edited. and added only a little.

NSFW

Waking up in the passenger seat of a car, I bring my free, right hand to my face in a sluggish way. I squeeze the warm hand that swallows my petite southpaw. It squeezes back with reassurance and affection. Turning my face from the window to my driver, I smile sleepily while laying my head back on the seat. I gaze at him while the sun is nearly set on his opposite side. There is a blend of oranges and pinks covering the ceilings of the outside. Puffs of purple clouds dotted the skies. The sun was hardly peaking out, but just enough to slightly irritate my fresh, awakened eyes; but it highlighted him in every way. As his eyes stayed on the road, I could see the sun shining dark shades of amber and carmel into them. He peeks at the corner of his eyes my way, grinning back at me with a smile that lights up any room he enters. “Mmm, you’re awake finally,” he stated with the slightest excitement in his voice as if he couldn’t get enough of my attention.

“Where are we now?” I asked looking around for signs. Not one single sign. Not even in the near distance of what I can see from the light darkening with the time passing by. I look out the window on the side of me and see boulders and dirt, no not dirt, sand. Arizona, a beautiful state from all directions. There’s beauty in the nature of it, how the deserts dehydrate everything with it’s blazing sun rays. Only having limited sources to test the survival of what lives among its dunes.

“About three hours away from our destination,” he answered as he pretended I knew his plan. He has been so unpredictable these past couple weeks. Never telling me what we’re doing or where we’re, yet I follow his lead trusting him without even thinking twice. Having just left Las Vegas, I look at the positioning of the sun to attempt to reveal what direction we’re heading to. I reminisce in past conversations of ours conversing about the places I’ve never been to. The list is slightly shorter now, but it still has length.

“Grand Canyon,” I blurted out as if I was in a tangent. There was a silence that filled the air as he just smiled, not admitting if I was right or not.

“Am I starting to get predictable?” he questioned.

“Is it always such a bad thing?” I answered with a question of my own.

“I like to keep you on your toes,” finally ending the question game with a real answer.

I smile while looking in his direction. I glance down at our hands intertwined as they always are when we drive together. Being apart for so long will do that to a couple of soulmates. “It’s okay, I’m excited!” feeling pumped about the fact that I’m going to experience another beautiful, rare piece of scenery that nature gas provided for the world to be in awe of.

“That’s good, Baby,” he sounded as there was relief in his voice, “I love it when you’re happy.”

I give his hand a tighter hold. I can’t believe mine is in his, finally. We’ve waited and suffered for such a long time without each other. Two people can only be without one another for so long until they can struggle no more to fight the gravitational pull that brings them together. It is forced with emotion and mentality. Finally, being able to feel and release that passion we both have desired so greatly is an unbelievable sensation. I never want to let this go. I never want to let him go. If he could hold me forever, it would mean I was in Heaven.

For a long while, we were with other people, or more like monsters of manipulation and control. Unhappy and withering away we were, not being able to express our true selves. It was as if we were living lives that we thought were fate doomed by our bloodlines and karma. I went through the cycle not once, but twice. I had lost myself nearly completely the second time around. I let normality take over and it dragged onto me until I was completely miserable with what I set myself up with. I didn’t let normality win for the sake of attempting to save myself from the disapproval of society. I did it because, at one time, someone else depended on me. That poor unfortunate boy was cursed to have a mother who’s not nearly worthy to experience his upbringing and growth. Alas, I believe he is much better without me. They all are.

For nearly five years, I stayed imprisoned along with my depression and suicidal thoughts that I was too much of a pussy to go through with. Along with emotional abandonment and mental abuse knocking at the door of my deteriorating mental health, my hate for living grew so much that I walked around as a stoned zombie for months. It was just to quiet the thoughts that could be so loud sometimes that it was as if I couldn’t hear anything else happening around me. Now, I want to hear every thought that pops into my brain. Recently, I have only endured into the sweet essence of THC for pure enjoyment, instead of a numbing mechanism since I abandoned my old life.

After these past couple weeks, I don’t think I would ever want to imagine being without him again. It was such a loveless and traumatic experience to do so. I had believed that the world would always be cold, and that I would be forever frozen in it; he wasn’t going to let that happen. I’m sure he didn’t even hesitate to decide that I was going to be his to save. I’m convinced it was his plan from the first “hello” we shared. Before we physically met, we grew a connection that may be unbreakable. Not even the strongest forces going against it can ruin what we’ve manifested. Day and night, we’d stay in contact in some sort of way. His voice would replace the music coming from my car radio as I would lug myself to work and back to hell. Those days I couldn’t have the pleasure to listen to his sweet words coming from his lips were sometimes the worst. My mind can be at rest knowing that I won’t have to live that way anymore.

It’s like time goes by at hyper-speed when we are together. Having eternity with each other now, yet that just isn’t enough for me. So much time was wasted procrastinating out of fear and guilt. I remember so vividly what our first face-to-face encounter was like as it really wasn’t that long ago. My problems were mine no more once his arms swallowed my body and our lips pursed together naturally and passionately. That feeling when everything horrible that has happened to me ceased to exist. As if I really only started living at that moment, the rest of the time was just merely surviving what agony I’d dealt with.

The sun set and we are still on the road. Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon are only about four hours apart. We are now about twenty minutes away from the destination of our next adventure before going back to Florida. We had been through half the country in such a short time. Missing his only child, we plan to head home after seeing the stars in Arizona over the canyon. A part of me wants to travel forever with this man, but I’m too excited to meet his little one. A person to give my motherly love to, but not having him be forced to only depend on me for that bond a child naturally desires. I already ran away from that once and he already has a mother for that.

The sky slowly popped with stars as the background faded to dark colors. We come to a stop. He puts the car in park, resting his head on the seat, and inhaling real deep. As he was exhaling, he sounded relaxed. He turns his head towards me and shines that sweet smile at me. I love that smile, oh Lord. “Are you ready, Love?” he gently asked me with a calmness in his voice.

“Yes, Dear,” replying with the same calmness in my voice, returning a grin. It’s odd because I always assumed love was like it was supposed to be in the movies. I thought love were hands that tremble and knees that are weak. It was supposed to put butterflies in your stomach. That’s not how I feel at this moment with him. When he looks at me, I feel at peace. It’s like we’re the only ones, like we’ve always been the only ones, on Earth for each other. He’d never hurt me, at least never in a way I wouldn’t take liking to.

We both exit out the vehicle in unison. Meeting at the trunk, we start unpacking the sleeping bags to lay on. I carry one as he carries another to a spot not too far from the car. I look back as the headlights shine on us. It was almost blinding. My eyes had to adjust afterward. He holds my hand the whole way there, I’m guessing in case I lose my footing. He unrolls, unzips, and spreads out the sleeping bag he was carrying. Then, he takes the one I’m holding and does the same on top of the first one. He suddenly turns towards me with an “I forgot something” expression on his face, “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”

“Where would I even-,” I decided not to finish my sentence because he couldn’t hear me anyway. I look at the car, the direction he was walking in. He gets into the trunk and it looks like he grabbed the beer cooler. He comes back and sets the cooler at the edge of the sleeping bag. He sits down close to where I’m standing, on the side of me. I was still not seated with him because I was just in awe at how beautiful the world really can be. I was soaking up all of its glory. It set me into a daze.

All of a sudden, I was pulled to the ground while my head was in the stars. I find myself in his muscular arms once again. He is always so warm, as it is quite chilly in Arizona at night. I feel his body underneath mine as he just holds me with a random playlist in the background from his phone. It’s always those moments that are true bliss. It’s that “let me hold you forever” type moment. I raise my head off his brawny chest and look deep into his eyes with a relaxed smile. “Hi.”

He smiles back at me, “Hey there, how are you?”

“I’m fine now,” I smile far wider than before. It’s true. I’m fine as long as I never have to remember that lifeagain. I will be okay as long as I have him. He makes it all better.

He’s still smiling at me, starstruck by love. “This time I believe you,” he admits to me as I remember a texting conversation we had once. I had told him that I was fine one day, and he asked me to never lie to him. He knew, then, that I would never be all right if we weren’t together and neither would he.

Right now, I feel so safe. Burrowing into his muscular chest, I will never want anyone else. How could I? He’s utter perfection. This massive gentleman stands nearly a foot over me. I’ve always liked my men tall. He is built like a machine with his muscles tightening the sleeves of his shirt. Veins that run down and disappear as they run down his wrists. His clothing tightens at his shoulders and upper back, fitting him snugly. His neck is strong and is partly hiding behind the scruffiness of his dark facial hair. It conceals half of his face with a short beard with a smile in the middle of it. His cheeks are round with a button nose, yet still masculine. Eyes, that are a deep brown, look into my soul through his black framed glasses. Head shaved like a badass, although I’m sure he looks great with hair too.

We admired our surroundings for a considerable amount of time. All of a sudden, we switch positions swiftly. I’m not difficult for him to maneuver by any means. I find this fact to be an advantage for what he is capable of doing to me. Nibbling at my neck to my lips, he kisses me passionately while one hand supports his body and the other is holding me by the hip. Pulling me closer to him, as he is clearly indicating that he wants to become one within me. I sense his excitement teasingly rubbing against me. I then grab his hip and pull him, aggressively, even closer to me. My hand wanders from his hip to his groin while the other is on his back pulling his shirt closer over his head. My hand grazes over scratches I had left on his skin from times before when he has convinced me with his talent to completely lose control. We are both aggressive lovers. Almost like we fight for dominance. Every now and then he lets me win, but not very often. I prefer my man to be stronger than me in all aspects. I wish, now, to taunt the monster within him to be unleashed onto me as I reach for his member from inside his boxers that had yet been removed. I need to let him satisfy my every sexual desire at this very second.

My top was already half missing, as I like to strut in crop tops often, making it easy for anyone to see my midriff and only for him to reach inside to feel my precious bosoms that his hands cup perfectly around. I enjoy the sensation of his fingertips gently caressing my ribs as if he is counting each one over and over. We slowed down to not miss this memory we are creating here under the stars in Arizona by. I gracefully lift my shirt from over my head as I am underneath his kneeling body. He works diligently at unbuttoning my shorts, removing them briskly to get to what will fill his hunger.

His lips lead from my sternum, down my navel with sweet kisses of appreciation. This way he lets me know that he treasures what is truly, and has always really has been, his. I feel his facial hair tickling my waistline as he hesitates for a moment. Then, he moves his sweet, tender kisses to both sides where my hips and my upper thighs lay. Covered in scars from my own destruction, he sees the beauty in every single cut that used to be there. It’s like he removes every horrific thought that led to me taking my lack of controllability out on my body.

He knows that the temptation for me to mutilate my body still exists to some extent. I can’t always be in control and I can’t accept it. Part of this trip was to educate me into having someone else take the lead. This is why I am so oblivious to where we’re going the majority of the time. It wasn’t easy for me at first, but I accepted this challenge to defeat the way I like to inflict pain onto myself. My anxiety has yet to take over yet. My comfortability with him is strange. I’ve never been so easy to take over and put a spell under, but he does me that way and I like it.

I’m completely exposed, not an inch of clothing on my body. With my entire body, naked, for him to explore. He goes right for the gold with his face, nibbling and licking the inside of my lower lips and clitoris. His tongue grazes in between the lips in an upward position towards the most sensitive area. The pleasure surges through my body, making it so hard to stay composed. I push his head into my pelvis and reposition my hips in hoping to get a more intense sensation. Having his hand around my ass to press me into his mouth, and the other hand is working down below. I feel everything ten times more than I ever did as he’s really going at it in so many directions. Finally, deciding to let out a moan out of pure ecstasy. “Mmm, Henry!” Calling out his name as I root for him to go further than what we already have.

He moves his half-way taken off shorts down to his ankles, getting them lost among the bottom of the sleeping bag. Henry, then, matches our pelvic areas to be insync with one another. Taking his left hand to my right thigh, he feels me down and then lifts my leg on to his shoulder. This puts my knee near my head. He is raised up to where we can make eye contact. Usually being uncomfortable with that, but with him I don’t mind. He comes face-to-face, almost close enough to kiss, but not quite. Knowing that he is teasing me by hesitating and ceasing all action except for angling his appendenge just right for me to barely feel it, he waits to see how long I can resist him.

As I can not anticipate waiting anymore, I pull him by his shoulders closer to me. I kiss him hard, and end it with an antagonistic bite of his lip. Then pushing him away and lowering my leg off his shoulder gently while looking at him playfully, he lets me take over. We switch positions once again as if we are dancing. I am now on top of Henry, with only the other sleeping bag covering us. With both of his in mine, I pin them over his head and lean down to kiss him once more. I let go of his hands and slowly felt him all the way down while I descended down to his penis to wrap my mouth around it. I play with the tip with my tongue, shove as much as I can in my mouth, and then back out as a tease. I cup his balls with my hand and deep throat him. I hear him indulging into this moment. He has a handful of my hair clinched in his hands. I put my hand on top of his on my head, pushing it down at a slow pace. my jaws widening to take in all of his masculinity. Struggling to keep hold of it long, I regurgitate it back out.

It is at this time, I come back up to face-to-face with my lover. I have one leg on each side of him with my lady bits resting on his junk. I kiss up his neck while his hand is in mine. Then, I pin up his hand above his head, so I support my weight to reach underneath me. I take a hold of his shaft and strike myself into the portal in between my legs. I gasp in response to the overwhelming sensation of being in one with my soul mate once again. He thrusts upward into me and it makes me arch my back and let out a soft moan. At the same time, I am steadily rocking on his dick. He grabs my petite waist and pushes hard up against me once again and again. We have a synchronized rhythm going. The beat to our song gets faster and I am almost to climax. I can feel the sweat drip down my spine in the crisp cold, desert air. It’s coming from all the work and pleasure I’ve put into this rendezvous. The blood feels hot in my body as my heart is beating like a hummingbird’s. I am so close to orgasming, I beg for him not to stop. “Take me,” I moan out, “have me, please!”

At my request, Henry sits up and gets from underneath me. Before I could look to see what he’s doing, I felt his warm body behind mine as we were both facing the same direction and on our knees. Now, the blanket is completely removed and I only have him for warmth. I feel his breath on my neck and ear. Our skin sticks due to us sweating in such a climate. One of his hands was holding me up to him and the other was reaching inside of me. He nibbles and tugs on my ear with his teeth. Chills go down my spine, and my heartbeat is so loud; as I am so turned on by the fact that he is about to take total control. He whispers an order in my ear seductively, “lay down.”

As he wishes, I do as he says like the good girl that I am. As I make the motion to turn towards him; he grabs my hip and stops me. “No, stay right there,” he says as I remain on my stomach by his command. He positions himself in between my legs. Moving his large cock to where it needs to be, he has one hand working it in as the other is softly gripping my neck. I felt pressure come within me and I groaned as I took him in. Henry lays on top of me, but supports himself enough not to hurt me. I can feel his breath on my ear again. He bites my neck with slight aggression, enough to make me loud.

Removing his hand from my neck to grabbing my hair and somewhat tilting my head back, he thrusts hard into me again and again. The more he goes on, the more I am enjoying every inch. My hands are clinching the sleeping bag in hopes of not losing it just yet. I am nearly to the point of releasing what sexual tension he has built up. I sound as I am gasping for air, enjoying him too much. I feel him lay closer to me and he turns my face towards him and kisses me from my lips onto my neck. “Why are you so perfect for me?” He asks in my ear as he is slowly pumping into me in an affectionate way.

The burly man lifts up off of me, “I want you to turn around, please,” almost as if he was asking instead of demanding. This was nearly as much of a turn on because it was like he had gotten romantic, all of a sudden, instead of being the crazed sex monster that had just preformed. I turned around as he asked. He slips both of my legs upon his shoulders to sense a different angle to get off on. He focuses on putting his tip at the beginning of my hole. Then, unhurriedly sunk each inch into me. Leaning closer to me, he is trying to test my limits. How flexible am I? How far can he get in at this angle? Will it be too deep for me?

I grow quiet in response to the amount of dopamine that my body is releasing into my system. I am almost in shock of how good he makes me feel. He enjoys it as much as I do, I’m sure. “Are you okay?” He is always so reassuring, making sure that everything is within my consent. Someone who is a true gentleman is hard to comeby.

“mmhhmm, just keep going,” I said in a soft voice as I’m not sure why I was still holding everything in. Maybe it’s because I’m testing his limits as well. I want to see how far he’ll go to get a rise out of me, or if he’ll let go before I do. Does he dare let me think he can’t keep up with me? I highly doubt it. He may be quite a few years my elder, but he is far more healthier than I am; even after all the damage his body has been through in his lifetime.

He stopped sliding in and our faces were towards one another. Foreheads and noses touching, I could almost kiss him. We just gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment as there is absolutely nothing in between us anymore. He pulls out and pushes back in repeatedly. His rhythm is growing rapidly, but soft enough that it is intensifying every nerve. I hold on to his thighs to feel more of him, but the sensation is so breathtaking that I almost go numb from feeling so good. Out of my control, I feel my fingernails dig into his thighs and I hear him grunt softly from it; Only making him keep on going.

Henry leans up, leaving my legs on his shoulders, and with him still inside. He reaches for my throat again, leaving him in charge of me completely. His other hand is supporting his weight, while holding my hand. Still giving it to me in the best way, he squeezes a little tighter around my throat and fucks me longer and harder. I love being tested. It isn’t just to test my limits, but to test my trust for him. Only he can turn me on in this way, for he is the only one I truly trust. My free hand is digging my nails into his shoulder once more. His poor back has been torn up since we’ve been together, but I just can’t help myself. We are both breathing so heavy, that I almost can’t hear the music. He is as sweaty as I am, and I don’t mind at all.

In an instance, I feel a sudden gush of release from two different angles. At this moment, I nearly scream in climax, “Oh! mmm, Henry!” and both of us stopped and our bodies went limp from exhaustion. My legs were shaking from all that they’ve endured. We are both out of breath, and we rest while we try to catch it. There is quite a mess in between us, a constant result that happens when we do such things together.

After a few moments of rest, we are still so tired from loving each other so hard. The man’s thick arm reached over my head to grab his shirt. He, then, gives it to me. “Ladies first,” he offered.

I take his shirt and wipe myself off as best as I could. I give it back for him to do the same. Henry sits up and collects some sort of clothing items on the side of him. “Here Vee, I knew you wouldn’t want to go searching for those,” he said as he was handing me a clean t-shirt from his clothes. I take it out of his hand and give him a kiss as a thank you.

We both get half-way decent just so we can snuggle up to one another. I face towards him, so I can see his eyes twinkle along with the sky. He stares back at me and I feel at home. He doesn’t have any ulterior motives. He just wants to love me and to have me. Henry really strives to just see me happy, but what is happiness if I’m not with him? I smile sweetly at him, feeling at ease in his arms right now. “You are so fucking beautiful,” Henry pointed out, “I love you.” He kisses my forehead with tenderness.

“And I, you, Dear,” I smile and nuzzle into his fitted chest once again tonight. The music is still playing in the background. After being satisfied at such great measures, I am growing tiresome. My eyes drift closed due to being so heavy. I hardly hear the radio as I am actually listening to his heart beat for me. It has become my nightly ritual to make it my lullaby. It’s the best song I have ever heard and it’s like it was only written for me. He is only for me as I am only for him. There’s nobody else anymore. I can fall asleep with him tonight being at peace with that.

I don’t feel the sort of stickiness I’m used to from sleeping outside. Arizona is a dry climate. Humidity doesn’t exist in a place like this. When I open my eyes, I immediately realize that I’m not next to my other half. Where did he go? I think to myself as I rub my eyes and situate his shirt correctly onto my body. I stand up and notice my feet were bare. It hardly bothers me anymore. I’m growing more comfortable with every inch of my body as I spend more time inder Henry’s influence. I feel the rock solid ground underneath me. It’s warming up from the rays in the sky, not yet burning my feet. It must be quite early in the morning here in the Grand Canyon. I walk carefully to the vehicle, avoiding any stubbing of the toes. Creeping to the trunk, I stop feeling panicked looking for him as I’ve spotted him trying to make himself decent to gather our belongings and hit the road. He never wastes any time.

“Good morning, Gorgeous!” he roars out of excitement. I am not a morning person. He is my polar opposite when it comes to that. I adore that about him. It makes mornings a lot easier to deal with. The fact that I, now, have the desire to really and truly live makes it easier.

“Mm, good morning to you,” I reply sleepily as I walk up behind him. I rest my head into his back as I wrap my arms around him, with my hands on his chest. No matter how hot it is, we’re never close enough.

He closes the trunk and turns towards me. Looking down my direction with his dough brown eyes, “are you —.”

“PANCAKES!” I perked up, all energized, answering his question before it could escape his lips.

“—hungry...” he smiled as he finished his sentence involuntarily. Henry kisses my forehead and gazes back down at me, “let’s go get pancakes.”

“Yum!” I say excitedly, yet quietly. We both head down to our canyon love pallet to pack it away. Working as a team, we have it all put away in a hurry. Then, I get dressed in a My Chemical Romance black tee with white cut-off shorts. I always strut my black Vans with the translucent rainbow checkers and classic white line. My shoelaces are straight laced. I have little-to-no fear if someone sees my body as I trade outfits. There’s only me and him.

We are all ready and set to go to get pancakes from the nearest town, wherever that is. I pull out my new phone, because why would I need my old number or old phone? “Hey, Siri!” I demand an answer from the AI on my phone. I look at Henry until I get an answer. That’s a thing I do. I just like to look at him. Take in every detail at any moment. Sometimes Siri is stuck on buffering mode anyway.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

2022 midterms and 2024 general

2022 is an important year because the House of Representatives is reapportioning itself; following the 2020 census, the states have been tasked with redrawing district maps to “reflect” the new population.  Partisan gerrymandering has been a problem for decades, but it has become a thoroughly entrenched problem following the 2019 Supreme Court decision that gerrymandering is outside the scope of federal courts; the 5-4 conservative majority decided that they can not and will not rule on the matter again, leaving it up to Congress and the states to figure it out.  Congress can’t get anything done, so a gerrymandering ban is all but impossible, meaning the states have total control over their new maps.  A majority of the states are controlled by Republicans, despite representing less than half the country; there are more smaller states than bigger states, so even though more people live in urban areas, the rural areas get the majority voice in the redistricting process.

This means that 2022 is going to be probably the worst gerrymandered year in American history; given that the Supreme Court has since changed to a 6-3 conservative majority, I don’t see them overturning their previous decision any time soon, meaning Republicans have an inordinate advantage going forward.

Let’s look at the 20th century as a guide to see if we can make any predictions.

1902: Republican Teddy Roosevelt is president, and the Republicans control both the House and Senate.  Following the election, they maintain control.

1912: Republican William Howard Taft is president, Republicans control the Senate, Democrats control the House.  At this time, both parties had liberal and conservative wings, and the Republicans were having a civil war between the liberal Roosevelt faction and the conservative Taft faction.  Roosevelt ran against his own party’s incumbent as a Progressive, a third party spoiler, giving the White House to the Democrats for the first time since the 1880s (and to a southerner for the first time since the Civil War).  Democrats kept the House and took back the White House and Senate, giving Woodrow Wilson the trifecta.

1922: Republican Warren G. Harding is president, Republicans control both the House and Senate.  This year is special because it is the first time in American history that the House was unable to reapportion itself after a census; there was a major battle across the country between rural and urban state legislatures, so Congress eventually passed a law in 1929 to set the number of House seats permanently at 435, the level it had reached by that time.  Before this, the House grew ever ten years, inflating with population; it has been stagnant ever since, making each Congress less representative than the one before it.  Republicans maintained control of the House and Senate.

1932: Republican Herbert Hoover is president, Republicans control the Senate, Democrats control the House.  Hoover was more or less single-handedly responsible for the Great Depression, refusing to give aid to the people, forever ranking him as one of the worst presidents in American history; he was soundly defeated by Franklin D. Roosevelt who dragged us out of the depression and jump started the economy during World War II, becoming one of the greatest presidents in American history.  Democrats won super-majorities in both the House and Senate, giving Roosevelt all but unlimited power (the only thing keeping him from literally becoming a king was that Democrats were still split between the more liberal north and the conservative south).

1942: Democrat Franklin D. Roosevelt is still president, on his third term, and Democrats still control the House and Senate.  They maintain control after the election.

1952: Democrat Harry S. Truman is president, but the recently passed 22nd Amendment forbid him from running for a third term.  This is the first reapportionment year of the century without an incumbent president running for re-election; Democrats still control the House and Senate.  After 20 years of Democratic rule, the country elects Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower a war hero and basically America Incarnate. He was everything they wanted in a president; he was manly, intelligent, anti-communist, super Christian, and racially tolerant.  Republicans took back the White House, the House and Senate, giving Eisenhower the trifecta.

1962: Democrat John F. Kennedy is president, and Democrats control both the House and Senate.  They maintain control after the election.

1972: Republican Richard Nixon is president, but Democrats maintain control of both the House and Senate.  Nixon stole this election by hiring goons to break into the Democratic headquarters and steal dirt on his political opponent (Watergate Scandal).  His campaign forged a letter from his strongest rival Edmund Muskie of Maine, in which they made it look like he was insulting the French-Canadian population, which would be like someone from Florida insulting Cubans, or someone from California insulting Mexicans.  Muskie cried giving a speech denouncing the letter, imploding his campaign.  The Democrats instead went with the unpopular George McGovern of South Dakota, a political nobody; Nixon hurt HIS campaign by revealing that his running mate Thomas Eagleton had depression and previously underwent electro-shock therapy, runing his career and forcing McGovern to replace him at the last minute with Sargent Shriver, whose main claim to fame was being married to John F. Kennedy’s sister.  Nixon won in a landslide, winning 49 states including South Dakota.  Nixon failed to cover up his crimes and resigned in 1974 before he could be impeached.  Democrats kept both the House and Senate.

1982: Republican Ronald Reagan is president.  Republicans control the Senate, but Democrats control the House.  Both parties keep their respective chambers following the election.

1992: Republican George H.W. Bush is president, and Democrats control both the House and Senate.  Bush is nowhere near as popular as Reagan was, riding his coattails into office and then stumbling through his first term.  During his campaign he said “read my lips: no new taxes.”  During his term he created new taxes.  Whoops.  He cared more about foreign policy than domestic, but still fumbled the Gulf War; we pushed Saddam out of Kuwait (yay), but then overthrew the Kuwaiti government (boo).  The war had so much buildup; it was the only thing reported on TV for weeks and months, and it was over in days, so everyone was like “what was the point?”  He may still have won re-election were it not for Ross Perot; a businessman from Bush’s own Texas, he ran the most successful third party campaign in modern history.  He didn’t win any states, but he had national appeal where former third-partiers only had regional appeal; he split the ticket in all 50 states, meaning that Bush and Democratic rival Bill Clinton won multiple states with less than 50% of the vote.  Clinton was a charismatic young southern Democrat in direct opposition to old pretender Bush (he was a new Englander pretending to be a Texan).  Democrats won the White House, and kept both chambers of Congress, giving Clinton the trifecta.

2002: Republican George W. Bush is president (the H.W.’s son), and while the Republicans control the House, the Senate is split 50-50 for the first time in history.  This should mean that Republican control the Senate because Dick Cheney was VP, but midway through 2001, Vermont Republican Jim Jeffords left the party to become an independent and caucus with the Democrats, giving them an effective 51-49 majority (fun fact: Jeffords was eventually succeeded by none other than Bernie Sanders).  Bush Jr. was a warmonger who wanted to “redeem” the Bush family legacy by finishing what his daddy started; he used the tragedy of 9/11 as a pretense to go to war with Iraq so he could topple Saddam, even though Iraq had nothing to do with the attacks, had no ties to al-Qaeda, and possessed no WMDs.  Republicans kept the House and narrowly won back the Senate after the election.

2012: Democrat Barack Obama is president.  Democrats control the Senate, but Republicans control the House.  Both parties keep their respective chambers, but Democrats win a handful of new House seats despite the re-districting.

2022: Democrat Joe Biden is president (in the event of an unforeseen tragedy, it might be Kamala Harris).  Democrats control the House and Senate by razor-thin margins, meaning single-digit rebels could deadlock Congress entirely.  It is very likely the Republicans will take back the House, and I give both parties a dead even chance of winning the Senate.  Democrats are certainly going to lose Georgia and possibly Arizona, but could pick up Pennsylvania and maybe even Wisconsin; Pennsylvania is open because the Republican incumbent is retiring, but the Wisconsin incumbent is running for re-election, so that one will be an uphill battle.  Those two are their best shots; maybe North Carolina (no incumbent), maybe Florida (yes incumbent), but I wouldn’t hold my breath.  There’s a non-zero percent chance Congress could remain deadlocked 50-50.  It depends on if Biden/Harris get anything substantive done this year.

It appears that the majority party in the House has the advantage going into the next re-districting cycle, but it has never been this close before and it fails to account for the Republican Revolution in the 80s and 90s.  The Democrats maintained control of the House for 60 years, then Bill Clinton took office and the Republicans reorganized themselves in opposition to everything he stood for (even in the areas where he stood with them).  Newt Gingrich took the Republican party from defense to offense, changing the playbook so they cared less about policy and more about culture; since then, instead of running for stuff, Republicans run against stuff.  Their entire platform became “oppose Democrats,” with no real plan besides doing the opposite of what the other party wants to do; remind you, in 2016 Barack Obama nominated Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court because he was a politically neutral choice who Republicans had no qualms against, they just refused to seat him because they hated Obama.  Trump was a symptom of this backpedaling, he helped narrow the Republican platform even more, to the point that they didn’t change a thing between 2016 and 2020.  That’s unheard of; a lot changed between then and now, and they didn’t feel the need to update ANYTHING, no new ideas, no new promises, just more of the same.  It worked in 2016, and they thought it would work again in 2020, but then the pandemic hit and unemployment spiked to Great Depression levels and we entered a recession, turning Trump from Ronald Reagan to Herbert Hoover.  It is historically difficult to defeat incumbent presidents, Trump was just a wildly unpopular idiot, and Biden was inoffensive and pretty close to politically neutral (he’s a moderate Democrat who is convinced he can work with Republicans even though their MO is still to oppose him on principle; they will NEVER work with him).

2024 seems so far away, but we’re already getting a taste at what it may look like.  If Trump decides to run again, he will absolutely win the Republican nomination; if he runs again, no other candidate will even try to throw their hat in the ring, they worship at his feet, they’d never dare oppose him.  In that case, it will be a rematch between Biden and Trump, which hasn’t gone to the challenger since Grover Cleveland won a nonconsecutive second term in 1892.  Trump will lose the popular vote for the third time, but could eke by with a slim Electoral College victory if Republicans in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Georgia implement their anti-voting laws.  If Biden doesn’t run for a second term, the Democratic nomination will absolutely go to Kamala Harris, meaning it’ll be Harris v Trump, a repeat of Clinton v Trump in 2016.  A competent but politically moderate woman pretending to be a left-wing progressive will be torn apart by the media, third party candidates will be treated like real challengers, and the republicans will take the White House with a minority vote for the third time in a row (the last time a Republican won the presidency with a majority vote was George H.W. Bush in 1988.  Bush Jr was re-elected with a majority vote in 2004, but he lost his initial race in 2000 and was given the victory by the Supreme Court.  Democrats have won 7 of the last 8 elections, but have only seated 3 presidents).

Biden v Trump is up in the air

Harris v Trump will probably go to Trump

If Trump doesn’t run, then the Republican race may be as crowded as it was in 2016, only this time the dozen or so candidates will be vying for an endorsement from Trump.  Whoever he picks will become the nominee, so over the next year or two we can expect a ton of right-wing nutjobs to try and position themselves as his heir apparent.  Some people think it will be one of his adult children, Don Jr or Eric or maybe Ivanka, but they’re not quite as popular as their dear old dad, and he hates them anyway (he hates Don Jr because he has the same name as him, he hates Eric because he’s a bigger idiot than he is, and he wants to fuck Ivanka’s brains out).  More likely, the nomination will go to a far-right sycophant like Ted Cruz who came in second behind Trump in 2016, or Ron DeSantis who is positioning himself as Trump’s #2 guy in Florida.  Rick Scott is also vying for that position, so he could give DeSantis a run for his money, and senators generally perform better than governors, so I’d watch them closely.  It won’t be a moderate Republican; that will never happen again.  They ran moderates in 2008 and 2012 and they got their asses handed to them by Obama, their wing of the party has all but evaporated, there are no viable moderate Republicans anymore, so blue-state Republican governors like Hogan (MD), Scott (VT, no relation), and Baker (MA) don’t stand a chance.  Trump IS the Republican party, so what he says goes.  It’ll be a competition to see who can suck up to him the hardest and win over his base, but it’s not a race Trump will leave quietly.  He could be a kingmaker, but that would mean giving up his spot as leader of the party, something he doesn’t want to do.  If he doesn’t run, he’ll still basically be running vicariously through whichever candidate gets the nomination; it’ll be a Trump puppet, Diet Trump, store brand Trump “sorry we’re out of Coke, is Pepsi okay?”  They’ll never be as popular as the real thing, and Biden will have the incumbency advantage after rescuing the country from the pandemic and the recession, so 2024 is the Democrats’ to lose.

I predict that Biden will be re-elected in 2024, but Republicans will take back both chambers of Congress.  He will resign halfway through his second term due to declining health, making Harris the first female president, who will then lose handily in 2028 against a Republican woman (both will face misogyny, but the Republican will be white, so she’ll have it easier).  Biden and Harris will seat no Supreme Court justices after 2022, so Breyer needs to retire RIGHT THE FUCK NOW or else he’ll become the next Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  When the Republicans take back the White House, Clarence Thomas will probably retire and be replaced by a young black woman who is even more conservative than he is, just to stick it to the Democrats.  Roberts and Alito (conservative), and Kagan and Sotomayor (liberal) are relatively young, so they won’t be leaving anytime soon, and Trump’s 3 appointees are stuck for decades, so Breyer will be the only liberal vacancy in the foreseeable future; if Democrats replace him, the court remains 6-3 conservative, but it will put them in a better position going forward.  If Republicans replace him, they’ll get 7-2 conservative, which would be bad for women (especially trans women), the rest of the LGBT community, black people, immigrants, poor people, and everyone else who isn’t explicitly a Republican demographic.

If Democrats want to swing the country away from fascism, they need to act decisively and soon!  Nuke the filibuster, pus through electoral reform, expand the Supreme Court, get rid of the Electoral College, ensure that no party can rule without majority support ever again.  This would almost certainly lead to a civil war as conservative shit their pants with fear over having to campaign on popular ideas for once; the states would push back hard, the courts would push back hard (McConnell and the Republicans packed the courts by refusing to let Obama seat anyone after 2015, accruing hundreds of vacancies for Trump to fill), and Trump’s base would fight back hardest of all.  They would make January 6th look like child’s play, it would be a total bloodbath, all out revolution!  We need a constitutional convention to overhaul the system, but that would create more questions than answers, and the conservative minority would still weasel their way into power through compromises just as they’ve always done.  The senate is disproportional to appease conservatives, black people counted as 3/5 of a person to appease conservatives, free and slave states were admitted in equal number to appease conservatives, reconstruction was ended to appease conservatives, appeasement is the only way conservatives prosper!

[philomenafm]

(NATALIA DYER, DEMI GIRL) - Have you seen PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL? PHILLY is in HER/THEIR SOPHOMORE year. The WILDLIFE SCIENCE MAJOR is 20 years old & is a TAURUS. People say SHE/THEY are WHIMSICAL, PATIENT, APATHETIC and UNPREDICTABLE. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE CONCEALED MURDEROUS EVIDENCE  (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

ive done sm switches bt. she is the one. she is the one i love. trust me. ples. this is an old intro n im frankly. too lazy 2 read it bt. i love her a lot shes very good please like her

TW CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. DISSOCIATION ), DEATH, DECAY, MAGGOTS.

aesthetic.

wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, dancing naked in the woods with nothing but fire to light your way, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers, fungi and feeling one with them, lying down and decomposing, they’ll find us in a week. they’ll find us in a week.

basics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, etc.

b.o.d. - april 20th, 2000

label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.

height: 5′4″

hometown: woodside, ca

sexuality: demisexual

pinterest ( & her family pinterest b/c they’re my most developed family uwu)

stats

favorite song: wonderfully bizarre, bendigo fletcher / we can be defined by the things we want / i’ll be a life full of free haircuts from the one that i love / we’ll collect fallen out teeth in a candy jar / mice for the backyard peregrine falcon reservation.

background.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long.

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.

there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot.

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

three years later and her parents want philly to have a higher education - desperate for it, really - worried for her future. it’s a battle that she loses, getting her ged and applying to a local college in florida in shameful compliance.

they’re there for a year until philly gets (expectantly) expelled from the community college & the two of them are banned from the town they’d residing in up until that point. they don’t talk about it - but boy, was it one hell of a time.

they found refuge in preaker, a town that seemed to suit them well - it suited elektra’s desire to travel up and down the east coast, and it intrigued philomena enough to the point of her being content with staying. soon after, philly officially transferred to yates for her freshmen spring term & theyve been here since.

(whenever anna brings cillian uh. he’s in here too he’s been traveling w them fr like 3ish years. i just cannot rewrite atm KDSGLSDKLGKFGHLKSL bt hes here. n hes sexy. n we love him. bro3tp)

OH. hey yeah the secret. errmm. tht’s on cillian. philly just hid the evidence. no they didnt kill someone yes they did no they did not <3 yes

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon (& so does leo fowler eyes emoji)

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in preaker / yates - would hate to be forced out by mobs with torches and pitchforks

currently living in calloway while elektra stays in their van, florence - sometimes philly stays there during the weekends.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. edit: her first & only kisses hv been w leo fowler. this is important

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her. she knows to respect nature. exudes natural trust energy <3 dont know wht tht means but

the trust expands to animals as well, she has a certain knack for getting them to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay. edit: she hs a tabby cat named pail, now. named in honor of her mother, bucket.

leaves her window in calloway wide open because of this, because her window is conveniently right besides a tree with sturdy branches. good for animal smuggling, sneaking in and out, hiding, etc. etc. world is her oyster.

though her room in calloway is ??? frankly a mess ??? already ??? usually keeps most of her possessions in her memory box but she’s also turned her room into a mini labyrinth of knick-knacks. very cozy, but very nest-like. think of howl’s room from howl’s moving castle.

wanted connections.

how did you get in here ;; someone whose room she perhaps crashed at late at night, mysteriously. she refuses to explain where she’s come from. she’s gone before you wake. they could literally not know her at all she’s just sleeping halfway under their bed like <3 thank you <3

ma’am this is a wendys ;;  someone who sees her constantly <3 doing outlandish shit <3 bc lets b real. shes weird. shes a weirdo. why do u think she wears the same hat everyday. (she doesnt wear hats often) anyways. they probably dnt even like her? just think shes very strange?

im literally going to dissect you ;;  someone who. wants to figure out philly. pick at her brain. wear her shoes. kind of in the same category of above in this general like. ur fkn weird. bt they wna figure out why <3 they wna play therapist <3 jokes on u she hates therapists

liddle thief in the night ;; someone who has caught her stealing. or dining n dashing. either/or. perhaps both. she steals a lot :/

oh like. friends n stuff ;; of any closeness. ppl she talks 2 conspiracies with, ppl she goes on late night walks with, ppl she explores with, ppl she steals with, ppl she smokes with, etc. etc. ppl who bring her out to parties cos they like her funky little ways when she gets drunk n tries to climb atop everything <3 

thts nice. anyways ;; this is fr like. literally anything unrequited. philly doesnt like <3 a lot of ppl <3 In That Way. so its basically just. ur muse thinks shes very neat n she thinks ur muse is very neat bt platonically. she doesnt do hookups or anything n if she does i tend 2 like. run purely based off of chemistry even with. most of her connections in general.

uuhh. anything ;; HLKDGKSDLKGHLKSFDSHGKFD i nvr rly hv a lot of connections up fr philly bc shes like. a very unpredictable muse n i think its usually better to just. throw her in! n see wht happens! we cn still plot obv n come up w some fun things bt fr the most part shes very organic

[delbeugre]

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen..... 

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid... 

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat: 

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

[altphilcmena]

『NATALIA DYER ❙ DEMI GIRL』 ⟿ looks like PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL is here for HER/THEIR SOPHOMORE year as a WILDLIFE SCIENCE student. SHE/THEY are 19 years old & known to be WHIMSICAL, PATIENT, APATHETIC & UNPREDICTABLE. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 20. EST. SHE/THEY.

hllo this is a slightly older bt not tht old like. minus a year old muse of mine tht i thought wld fit rly well into this group n i hope u guys all love her bc i love her a lot !!! anyways pls drop a LIKE if u wld like to plot because i need to know. who to plot with. there’s so many people pleathe help me out HBSJDNKFMGLH

TW CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. MENTAL ILLNESS ), DEATH, DECAY, MAGGOTS.

aesthetic.

wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, dancing naked in the woods with nothing but fire to light your way, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers, fungi and feeling one with them, lying down and decomposing, they’ll find us in a week. they’ll find us in a week.

basic info.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

b.o.d. - april 20th lmao !!

label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.

height: 5′4″

hometown: woodside, ca

sexuality: ??? $500 ebay mystery box. pansexual if you had to label it.

pinterest ( & her family pinterest b/c they’re my most developed family uwu)

stats

inspired by: luna lovegood (harry potter), orla mccool (derry girls), cassie ainsworth (skins), alice (alice’s adventures in wonderland), amelie (amelie).

biography.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long.

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.

there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot.

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her. 

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

three years later and her parents want philly to have a higher education - desperate for it, really - worried for her future. it’s a battle that she loses, getting her GED and applying to a local college in florida in shameful compliance.

they’re there for a year until philly gets (expectantly) expelled from the community college & the two of them are banned from the town they’d residing in up until that point. they don’t talk about it - but boy, was it one hell of a time.

they found refuge in lovell, a town that seemed to suit them well - it suited elektra’s desire to travel up and down the east coast, and it intrigued philomena enough to the point of her being content with staying. soon after, philly officially transferred to radcliffe for the fall semester & they’ve been here since!

personality.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in lovell / radcliffe - would hate to be forced out by mobs with torches and pitchforks

currently living in noland while elektra stays in their van, florence - sometimes philly stays there during the weekends.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her.

will consume a n y t h i n g you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee. 

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra). has befriended the campus witch, or as much as the witch will allow, and shrike as well. she knows to respect nature, and abandoned sites - she’s practically free to explore as she wishes, her only pride is the trust she’s gained.

the trust expands to animals as well, she has a certain knack for getting them to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.

leaves her window in noland wide open because of this, because her window is conveniently right besides a tree with sturdy branches. good for animal smuggling, sneaking in and out, hiding, etc. etc. world is her oyster.

though her room in noland is ??? frankly a mess ??? already ??? usually keeps most of her possessions in her memory box but she’s also turned her room into a mini labyrinth of knick-knacks. very cozy, but very nest-like. think of howl’s room from howl’s moving castle. 

wanted connections.

random encounters... it’s only her second semester at radcliffe, she hasn’t met everybody yet i’m sure

random encounters...in the wild... alternately, people she’s met before in a different part of the country. whether she’s stolen from them or crashed at their place, or simply shared a dinner. anything goes!

unexpected sleepover... someone whose place she crashed at after a mysterious night. a party, adventure, etc. etc. maybe they don’t even remember her staying over, maybe she hadn’t been with them to begin with.

employers... she does a lot of odd jobs! knows how to make a lot of things in many different mediums just to earn a small living.

friends... y’know ... people who enjoy her presence, likes her oddness. they may not understand her, but they appreciate her. or maybe they do understand her, in their own way!

not friends... philly doesn’t consider anybody an enemy in the slightest, but some people may not be fond of her ... think she’s a little too strange, or they refuse to understand her, or something of the likes.

closing in... someone trying to get closer to her, trying to figure her out on a level deeper than what she would like, and she keeps slipping out from between their fingers every time.

mom friend mom friend mom friend... older sibling figures! dad friends! take one look at philly and instantly want to swaddle n protect her.

caught red handed... someone catches her stealing or about to dine-n-dash. do they care? who knows!

late-night shenanigans... they just walk and talk at night ... very relaxing ... not actually very shenanigans filled...

a dealer... because she wasn’t born on 4/20 for nothing. she’s not turning 20 on 4/20/20 fr nothing. don’t fail us.

debating conspiracies... or superstitions, really anything. maybe they’re frustrated at her apathy surrounding all situations.

no likey... :( they distrust her. probably fr good reason tho ... i don’t blame you

thrifting pals... no explanation needed methinks

an eventual hook-up... maybe ... possibly ... it’s questionable, but it could happen! can’t stay a virgin forever! (or well. she cld. we’ll see!) she’d probably have to trust yr muse a lot though

unrequited romance uwu... probably unrequited on her end because she doesn’t usually think of anybody in a romantic sense - it’s possible, but you’d have to be something special for her to like you back. that being said ...

something returned... eventually, slowly. slow. it’ll take time.

maybe something returned !! eventually. slowly. slow.

n like rly anything u want !! anything u can think of i am here 2 fulfill ... we can brainstorm all sorts of wacky scenarios!! she’s a thief! she’s an accordion player! she dances naked in the woods! she’s been in the circus AND a small utah county jail! 

[twofacedbelief]

Thviceit Mythology AU

it’s plot time babes

thomas is human, virgil is a minor god (of anxiety, grief, misery, depression), and dee is a naga who has repressed the first ten years of his life due to trauma and may not actually know how old he is

Dee has been extremely lucky considering that he hasn’t starved to death, still have all his fingers, and haven’t been found by humans, so of course, that luck had to run out sometime (but 20-something years of luck were impressive)

He had been stuck on a construction site after they so nicely felled the tree he was sleeping in before going off to lunch. At least that gave him time to hide, but he was in pain, and he was grieving the trees. They had been very nice trees with good sturdy branches perfect for sleeping on.

 He’s been hiding very effectively in a big mound of dirt - if you ignore the parts where his injuries are surely infected, not to mention worsened by the pressure and the fact that dirt gets pretty cold. At least he didn’t suffocate!

This mix of emotions that Virgil happen to be a god of, coming from a non-human being? It’s like a distress beacon once he’s actually walking past the construction site. He had been on his way home from the store, but he couldn’t just ignore what he was sensing.

Thomas, a somewhat sensible human, had been walking in the same direction as Virgil and decided to intervene when he saw Virgil jump the fence to the construction site. Intervening, in this case, meant doing the exact same thing and following Virgil to tell him how unsafe this was.

So imagine Thomas’ surprise when he sees the purple-haired person he had been following frantically trying to drag a half-naked body out from a mound of dirt! Wait, that’s a snake tail, not a pair of pants. Naked body? Half-person half-snake? What’s going on?

Dee is very much not aware of anything, and had he been human, his best bet had probably been a hospital. The second best bet is Virgil calling up Aceso and/or Asclepius.

The third best bet - and therefore worst option - is naturally the one that happens. Thomas pushes his shock aside long enough to help Virgil get Dee home to his apartment, and then does what he can with a First Aid Kit that Virgil may have used some godly magic to create. (He didn’t just have a First Aid Kit at home because once again, he could have called up his fellow Greek deities, but nope, not letting a human know that much)

Thomas thankfully doesn’t ask too many questions - mainly just how Virgil had known where the stranger was, and what was the correct term for a half-person half-snake, and would a veterinarian or a doctor technically be more helpful in this situation. Virgil answers as vaguely as he can because Thomas is a stranger and a human and Virgil would love nothing more than wipe his memory.

Thomas gets to keep his memory, and he gets Virgil’s phone number with a promise of updates on the naga’s health.

Virgil does actually keep his promise, after weighing the cons and pros of keeping this human in the loop. In the end, keep your friends close and your enemies closer won out. (He can’t have Thomas going around telling people that nagas exist!! There shouldn’t even be any in Florida, to begin with!)

It takes about a week for Dee to start waking up and actually remember what happens when he’s conscious. After the second week, he’s even up and moving for short periods of time.

While thankful that he’s alive, he doesn’t trust Virgil at all before he’s 110% sure that Virgil isn’t a human. Which makes Thomas visiting a catastrophe.

Virgil really wishes that he could vent to Logan but that’s hard to without either revealing the truth or omitting a lot of key details.

Thomas definitely wishes he could tell Patton and Roman but he also knows that this is a really big thing that is best kept a secret, so he won’t do so without Virgil’s permission.

And then Remy shows up out of nowhere to visit their brother and start chaos. (They’re chaotic lawful and they love it.)

Chaos, in this case, means telling more people that they’re real and not myths. More people being Logan, Remus (who still might be fae), and Roman and Patton (who are probably human but are they). Also Emile, the poor therapist that Remy fell in love with, and who just happens to know Patton.

Dee really misses sleeping in trees, Virgil really wants to go back to blending in among humans, and Thomas is just along for the ride.

[relucant]

cut for oceans of personal salt in an attempt to not punch a wall (again)

so over the weekend, i drove my mother down to see her sister -- who is very much dying -- for her 80th birthday. which is an incredibly depressing experience for both obvious and less obvious reasons, but it was also obviously the right thing to do, so like, i didn’t want to, but did not resent doing so.

and my back, which is always fucked up but has been more so the past week or so, really did not like driving for three-plus hours twice in three days, and by the time we got home sunday evening had gone completely thrown out, and has pretty much been excruciatingly painful in any position except completely flat on my back since then.

which sucks balls, but it happens, and at least this time it didn’t happen in a hostel in fucking albania where i was then very very nearly fed codeine by an extremely well-intentioned roommate, to which i am very very allergic and would almost definitely and ended up with me in an albanian hospital, so like, there’s that. (almost also was fed codeine in a chilean hospital despite obviously listing my allergies -- or allergy, since it’s my only known one -- and only barely noticed and had to figure out how to say “omg no i am allergic” in spanish which i don’t really speak, which wtf world stop it with the codeine)

except. except. the a/c unit in my room is very old and has been making dying noises for a while, and whenever i am here i have been gently (and, admittedly, increasingly less gently) reminding my mother that it would probably make a lot more sense and be far less expensive to start looking to replace it before it totally dies in the middle of florida summer, and/or starts leaking all over my bed and bedroom, and is suddenly an emergency. but she, of course, is the most useless person on the planet, and will do absolutely nothing about anything ever until and unless i finally snap and have a fucking screaming meltdown like a fucking child, in which case about 5% of the time she’ll put in like three minutes of effort, or at least say she will and then wait until i leave again and then go back to her sudoku puzzles and wine.

(seriously, like, my father is dying of cancer and cirrhosis and has dementia reaching the point that he can’t really be left alone even with two different people coming by twice a day to make sure he and the cat are okay, and she’s one trip-and-fall [in a walking obstacle course of a house] away from going from can’t-walk-without-assistance to in-the-hospital-indefinitely, and it took me years and years and multiple screaming fights for her to finally begin to wrap her head around the concept that maybe we/they should have, i dunno, a fucking lawyer, and some vague sort of plans in place for when one or both of them die and/or can’t live at home anymore, which, well, i guess at least they finally have a lawyer, which i literally had to find for them through friends when i was thousands of miles away, which seems reasonable i guess...)

anyway, yeah, so we finally get home, and -- after discovering that my father had somehow got his hands on the tray of baby catnip seeds i had planted and carefully tucked in a sunny windowsill away from him, and of course, ...dumped them into the fridge. which of course, dementia is not his fault, but dementia has just exacerbated his infuriating need to just get his hands on anything nearby, with no regard as to whether it belongs to him or not, and just mess with it, so of course i was instantly pissed off within minutes of walking in the door --

so i head to my room to do the whole lie flat on my back while make vague pitiful noises thing, and the a/c unit had, of course, suddenly finally begun to leak filthy a/c water all over the inside of my room, and mostly, of course, directly on my bed and pillow, which were completely soaked and disgusting, and the entire room still smells like -- well, like filthy a/c water had been soaking into it for two solid days. fortunately, the a/c still works, more or less, or else i flat-out couldn’t stay here (not that that’d be a bad thing, i guess), but there is now a giant gross paint bucket either hanging precariously from a lamp to catch the nonstop water drip, and which will be terrible if and when the arm of the lamp breaks, or just kind of propped up on my bed which i will almost certainly kick over in my sleep and will be terrible.

and, of course, although this is a three-bedroom house inhabited only by my parents and temporarily me, with a full pull-out couch in the den and a reasonably comfortable couch in the living room, there is absolutely no other place i could sleep. my parents’ bedroom now reeks so badly of my father’s urine and excrement that even the cat won’t go in there, so my mother (quite understandably) will not share a bed with him and so has appropriated my brother’s old room; they are hoarders so i don’t know if i could even reach the couch in the den, let alone clear off the several feet of random junk that’s festered atop it for probably a decade, let alone actually pull it out; and frankly i don’t want to sleep anywhere my father has even sat down like the other couch. so my sleeping option sleeping upside down on my already uncomfortable bed, with no wall or headboard to support a backrest or pillow, trying not to kick over a bucket of dirt-water onto myself in my sleep.

and like, i know it’s my own responsibility to make sure that things that need to happen do in fact happen, because my father obviously can’t and my mother just won’t, and i should have been more proactive about -- well, everything -- but like, i bring up things over and over and over, trying to discuss things like actual fucking adults, and just get a complete blank stone wall every single time, without even a response, even a “yeah, but we can’t do that right now,” just nothing, to the point that i’m like, “...did you hear me? are you there?” and i guess this was just another straw on the camel’s broken back, and went in to talk to her about like, you realize this is now A Problem, right, which -- admittedly after probably too much painkiller vodka since i have no actual painkillers -- i could not stop the flood of anger and resentment and hurt, and said some shit that was true but cruel -- all of which i have said many times before but not cruelly, and so was thoroughly ignored and dismissed every time.

which devolved into me in tears, again, over how unfair, inappropriate, and just plain horrible it is for her to treat me as her emotional support pinata, and the only person in the world she has to vent to and unload on, while categorically refusing to seek any sort of external support in any way shape or form, just knocking on my door drunk as fuck every night shaking with anger and anxiety and literally hiding from my father and just telling me how she feels like she is going to die, with absolutely no understanding or care that what she says and does (and does not do) actually, like, affects me, at all. she has this thing in her head where happiness/misery is like a zero sum game, where as long as she makes sure she is as absolutely miserable as she can possibly be, she somehow like uses up the misery so it’s good for everyone else.

and, of course, her seeing me as her only source of support or outlet to vent is very much a one-way street, because when she’s so wrapped up in her own anxiety and misery, it’s not like she is willing or capable of someone i could go to for anything ever. the few times that i’ve ever been like look i’m dealing with a lot right now, can you just like be there for me a tiny bit, she’s like i’m sorry you know i love you and would do anything for you, but i’m not actually willing to do anything at all so i don’t know what you want me to do or say.

and her manipulative takeaway, of course, was not “you’re right, it’s not fair, i will try to look into more/healthier ways to deal with this and people who can offer me help and support” but instead “you’re right, it’s not fair, i shouldn’t ever vent to you again i just won’t talk to anyone ever about what’s going on.” because of course.

she has a million excuses to avoid going to therapy, which are all bullshit, because she actively refuses to understand that like making an appointment with a therapist is zero percent commitment. no, for the fiftieth time, if you don’t want to get into your childhood trauma, you don’t have to; if you’re not ready or willing to deal with your alcoholism right now, frankly i don’t blame you, and you don’t have to, and i will say exactly those things to her and she will respond with, literally, “well, but i don’t want to get into my childhood trauma and i’m not ready to deal with my alcoholism right now.” great. glad you listen.

she finally agreed that if i found a therapist for her, she would try (again), which i’m totally willing to do, since i have a lot more experience in the mental health/therapy area than she does and i get totally that’s intimidating. but also, we’ve done this before, and she liked the therapist she was briefly seeing, who i connected her to via my own shrink, but despite promising to continue seeing her after i left, absolutely never did again. which, like, okay! her therapist specialized in addiction, so of course the drinking came up frequently; they only met for maybe six weeks, so her therapist was still obviously getting to know her and the drinking is an issue, but not the issue, but also hey, maybe it’s just not a good fit, that’s totally absolutely fine, but also don’t fucking lie to me until i leave the country and then stop going.

and also she was like “well i just spend half the session bitching about your father, so it seems pointless” and i’m like half the fucking point is so you have someone else to bitch to, and in particular someone who may have access to actual resources and things that could help this shitty situation. but, nah, or she could just make sure everything is as bad as possible.

i’m leaving in a week, at least, not super long term (maybe) but get a break from here, see some cats and some beloved friends and some old and new places on the other coast and also some temperatures that aren’t triple digit. and i have friends here that have offered me a bed or couch if and when i need to just not be in this terrible house, and i have no reason to doubt their sincerity at all, but i just hate the version of me that exists here so much that it’s so difficult to believe that anyone would want to be around me when i so very much don’t even want to be around me.

[orbemnews]

Georgia Gwinnett College students spend spring break serving people in need Grayson resident Lillie Champion marveled at some of the changes she saw a group of Georgia Gwinnett College students and Habitat for Humanity volunteers had done on her back porch and in her back yard this past Saturday morning. Rotted decks on the back porch had been removed and replaced with new boards that were subsequently painted to match the color of the remaining boards. The branches from a large tree that fell on a storage shed had been removed and the shed had been largely taken apart. The students had also cleaned the gutters and repainted the frame around the front door on Champion’s home. Using the 2019 American Community Survey 5-Year Estimates, Stacker compiled a list of the lowest-earning counties in every state. Click for more. These are all things things that Champion, who is 80 and suffered a stroke a few years ago, wasn’t able to take care of herself anymore. “It’s been wonderful, just really, really wonderful,” she said as she watched some students clear dirt from the roots of the overturned tree while others took the walls off the damaged shed. GGC students spent the first half of their spring break — which is this week — working on community service projects with Gwinnett Habitat for Humanity as part of the college’s alternative service break program. They went to houses as part of Habitat’s Brush With Kindness program to help residents, such as Champion, who have home repair needs that require attention but are unable to fix themselves. They also volunteered at Habitat’s ReStore in Lawrenceville on Saturday. “This is the student’s scheduled spring break, so usually for alternative service break, we want to afford students the opportunity to get involved in the community, to do some community service, to do some community engagement, to do some service learning and really just reflect on the experience of serving in the community,” said Nury Castro, GGC’s assistant director of community engagement and service. “We usually travel out of state. We’ve gone places like Washington D.C., we’ve gone to Florida, we’ve gone to New Orleans. “But, with COVID-19, we couldn’t travel far and so just to stay safe and follow some of those protocols, we stayed local.” Success! An email has been sent to with a link to confirm list signup. Error! There was an error processing your request. The effort at Champion’s home was one of two projects GGC students took on Saturday as part of alternative service break. Students also did similar home improvement work at the home of a Loganville-area resident. Habitat for Humanity Director of Programs Jen Welch said the organization had a backlog of about 30 Brush With Kindness projects that needed to be done, and the help from the students has helped make a dent in that list. “To be able to have them for four days to help us, we’re going to be able to take care of five homeowners in four days so it’s a huge benefit for us just in terms of having this amount of people power and to be able to take five names off of our growing 30-plus list for us is huge,” Welch said. GGC senior chemistry student Jes Ivbaze said this was the first time he has done an alternative service break project, even though he has done other service efforts in the past. He helped replace and paint the board on Champion’s back porch before turning his attention to slapping a fresh coat of white paint on the frame for her front door. Ivbaze, who lives in Lawrenceville, said the most important part of the projects done this week is the benefits the homeowners will have from the improvements the students made to the homes they visited. He also said he liked the fact that the projects were in GGC’s backyard this year. “Before you travel east and west here to help someone, I think it’s better to start at your home,” Ivbaze said. “So, to know these opportunities exist so close to home, I think it’s very important that I start here.” And, Champion said the student’s efforts at her home were a “tremendous help” to her. “I’m a senior, I’m 80-years-old and I cannot afford to keep the house up,” she said. “You know things were happening all the time and there just was no way I could do it … (This) is just great.” Source link Orbem News #backporch #break #buildingindustry #Champion #college #communityservice #Education #Georgia #georgiagwinnettcollege #ggc #Gwinnett #jenwelch #jesivbaze #lilliechampion #Painting #People #resident #servicebreak #serving #shed #socialservice #spend #sport #Spring #springbreak #student #Students #university

[theclaravoyant]

She... plays softball. Plays for the other team, as it were.

a Skimmons Coffee Shop AU, ft. happily platonic FitzSimmons, and ever-helpful gayngel & captain shipper Bobbi Morse

taking a leaf from the wonderful @the-nerdy-stjarna’s book to re-release an old fic with a new banner for @aosadvent2017 prompt “food”. I love Coffee Shop AUs, I have one for every occasion, but this one seemed especially fitting as I wrote the fic itself for last year’s @skimmonssecretsanta.

Rated G/T. ~3600wd. the original fic post is here, you can read it on AO3 here, or below. Enjoy!

-

Swinging my way, Baby?

It was a Tuesday afternoon, when it had first happened.

A Tuesday, around 3:30 in the afternoon. When recounting later, she was unable to consistently say what month, let alone what date, because it had begun just like every other Tuesday, and had continued much the same, save for a moment of lightning in the middle.

Jemma Simmons, aspiring PhD, was meeting up with Fitz for Chem study, just like every other Tuesday afternoon. She wasn’t running late, because she never did, but surprisingly, Fitz was already there, and talking to another girl. A girl whose face Jemma had memorised from across the classroom, but had never seen up close like this before. A girl whose name she probably knew, but couldn’t pick out of a lineup, for all the face was familiar to her. A girl with sharp black eyes, a quick smile, and a tank top bearing shoulders that made Jemma’s knees quake.

With considerably less smoothness and dignity than she might have liked, Jemma feigned indifference to Fitz’ visitor. She took her usual seat at the large library table and began separating out her books and notes with precision. Still, she couldn’t help peeking every now and then, up at where Fitz and his friend were talking. Her hair was short, about shoulder length, and flared about her face, bouncing as she spoke or animatedly responded. Her bag was slung over one shoulder, and one of Jemma’s covert glances caught her hitching the bag up, causing the muscles of her shoulder to ripple. Jemma’s face flushed at that, and she buried her nose in her books until Fitz and the girl parted ways and he came to sit down.

“Sorry I’m late,” he greeted, scooting his chair in and scrabbling to pull his notes and books out of his bag to catch up with Jemma.

“It’s no problem.” It was a nice view. Jemma bit her lip, and instead tried, with a casualness that was on second thoughts, too forced to have been worth the pretence, asked, “who was that?”

“Who?” Fitz glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, Daisy. Yeah. Daisy Johnson, you know, she’s in Computing with me. She was just after some help with a Physics assignment.”

“Oh. So. She’s not – I mean…You don’t…like her?”

Fitz laughed.

“I used to have a crush on her, actually,” he explained, amused by the memory. “We almost went to the middle-school dance together. ‘Cept turns out she, you know, plays softball.”

“Softball! Of course!” Just in time, she stopped herself from commenting on how those arms would be wasted on anything else. But still, Fitz shook his head.

“No, I mean – well, yes, she does play softball. And football, actually. But I mean she, you know. Plays softball. Plays for the other team, as it were.“

“Oh. Right. Right. Yes. I’m with you now. I follow. I – yes.”

Smooth, Jemma. She stuck her nose into the nearest book and hoped she wasn’t sweating as profusely as it was starting to feel like she was.

And then it happened. The bolt of lightning. The realisation that she might, in all honesty, have an iota of a chance. It was like flicking a switch, turning a fleeting fantasy into a blooming, consuming desire in the blink of an eye. Situational affection? A mind-boggling if temporary crush? Or cupid’s arrow through her heart, turning everything Daisy into diamonds in an effort to lure Jemma into a love story for the ages? Not knowing was half the fun of it. And more than half the terror.

“Why do you ask?” Fitz wondered after a moment. “Do you like her?”

Jemma fidgeted in her seat.

“I was just thinking about trying out myself,” she said, as smooth a derailment as she could hope for under the circumstances. “For softball, I mean.”

Fitz snorted. “I’d like to see that.”

Jemma slapped her pen onto the desk.

“I totally could!”

“I’m sure you could! I just don’t think it’s your style. Hideous uniforms, pointless running around in circles, lots of sweating and effort for no discernable reason –“

“Except fitness! And – and fun! And teamwork! And competition, you know I love competition –“

Soon enough the argument shifted away from Daisy, and even from softball, and onto the two of them challenging each other’s sporting abilities and willingness to suffer hard work and dirt. Jemma’s crush didn’t fade though. It only took a back seat. For a few hours, she even had herself convinced that she should indeed pick up a bat and try out.

Eventually, of course – and for which Jemma was eternally grateful - the heady optimism of inspiration faded and she realised that she had neither the skill, nor the money, nor even the desire to try out for softball, or any other kind of sport really. She would never be able to maintain it, if nothing else. Plus, her running around getting sweaty and failing at everything was, to say the least, not nearly as alluring as she would like to come across. Instead, after a few days of denial and indecision, she picked herself up and sought out Carter’s, the café where most of the campus’s sports and arts – and queer – communities were reputed to hang out. Being a hard science student who spent most of her time across campus these days, Jemma had not been to Carter’s for some time. It was not as she remembered it, and as she walked in, a combination of nerves, surprise and marvel took her breath away.

Only a few steps through the door, Jemma’s purposeful stride faded into a slow turn, like a young woman in a film arriving in The Big City. She stared so wide and for so long she felt like a freshman. She probably looked like one too, but she couldn’t help it. The place was decked out like a 1950s milkshake bar or diner, right down to the stools at the lunch bar, juke box in the corner, and musk-candy colour scheme of pink and green. Not to mention, the pillbox hats and matching collared uniforms that the feminist in Jemma was a little ashamed to admit, made her heart flutter. It felt like she had stepped back in time, or at least into one of those handcrafted, overly perfect horror-movie villages in Florida where nothing was ever as it seemed.

A chill ran down her spine at the sudden expectation that something might jump out at her. Nothing did, but she was unceremoniously dropped out of her timeless bubble and into a world where she should, by all accounts, order something or sit down. One look at the tall, muscled blonde behind the counter, making fiercely cheerful eye contact with her latest customer and smiling that familiar smile, told Jemma she was not up for that yet. So she sat, simply grabbing for the nearest empty table and pulling out her notebook and anatomy textbook. She’d come in here to eat – or at least, that’s what she had been planning to tell anyone who asked – but there was always work to be done.

Soon enough, in fact, she was so absorbed in her readings that she didn’t even notice the true reason for her presence there slip in through the door.

Daisy Johnson.

-

Carter’s had been a staple of Daisy’s college life. Situated between the gym and the theatre, it was where some of the most interesting people gathered, and where many of the girls on her team – both literally, and euphemistically – worked and hung out. Being near the theatre as it was, and relatively near the food and design schools, Carter’s tended to go through renovations a lot. Its latest incarnation resembled a 1950s diner and aside from its renewal of her love for Back to the Future, Daisy didn’t care for it all that much. She was hoping for something more outrageous next, like a Wild West saloon, or some kind of situation in which everybody wore rollerblades. But for now, at least the food was good and the milkshakes – and the uniforms, of course – were widely celebrated.

“Lookin’ good, Bobbi,” Daisy greeted, as she dropped into the stool nearest the cash register. Barbara was today’s resident supervisor’s intensely loathed full name, and in the spirit of the vintage theme under which she currently worked, she had easily heard it more times in the past three months than in the three years before that. Even so, Daisy had to bite her lip to stop herself bringing it up for a laugh. Bobbi glared, and Daisy beamed innocently and ducked her head below the counter for a moment, trying to reach simultaneously for her purse, and for the pastries under the cover beside the register.

Bobbi rolled her eyes good-naturedly, and lifted the cover for Daisy’s blindly reaching hand.

“Pink or sprinkles?” Bobbi asked.

“Surprise me.”

Bobbi handed Daisy a pink one with rainbow sprinkles, just as Daisy’s head reappeared over the counter. Her eyes widened at Bobbi’s selection and she took a large bite, humming in satisfaction through the mouthful of donut.

“Ah, you know just how I like it.”

Bobbi eyed her with an exaggerated expression of disgust as Daisy fished out coins from her purse, the donut now dangling from her mouth where she had sunk her teeth into it in order to free up her hands.

“Not if you like it like that, I don’t,” Bobbi remarked.

“Shut up.”

Daisy took the donut out of her mouth and added a coffee to her order, but as she did so, looked over her shoulder. It had just now clicked in her brain that she had recognised somebody when she’d come in. Somebody who didn’t usually come here, and who fit in a little too well, with her A-line skirt and pastel colours, and the way she kept twirling her fingers in her stray lock of hair.

“Oh my god.”

Daisy swung back around to the counter and ducked, wishing she had a menu or something to cover her face, though that hardly would have been less conspicuous. Blushing furiously, Daisy tried to recover by taking a sip of her coffee, and burnt her tongue instead. She cursed herself as Bobbi asked, inevitably,

“Who’s that?”

“A girl. Just a girl. No biggie.” Coffee, coffee. Ouch! Damn it.

“No biggie because she barely reaches my elbow?” Bobbi speculated. “Or no biggie in the lesser known, ‘if I hide behind this menu and she never sees me I’ll never have to confront my feelings,’ sense of ‘no biggie.’”

Daisy sighed.

“Ah, I really hope you become a fully fledged bartender one day,” she said, resignation in her tone. “Your talents are wasted here.”

Bobbi pouted, and reached for a towel just so that she could brush it across the counter and lean on it dramatically.

“So this girl, huh?” she inquired.

Daisy sighed again. Feelings confrontation time. “Her name is Jemma, she’s in my Physics class.“

“You take Physics?”

“Yes. What did you think I was taking?”

“The Science of Harry Potter?” Bobbi suggested. Daisy glared.

“Don’t even joke about that. I would kill.”

Bobbi smiled, and prompted: “So, Physics.”

“So Physics. Anyway. She’s there and she’s pretty and, well, I thought that was the end of the story…“

“Buuuuut…“

“Iiiiiiif you’d let me finish….but see, I’d thought she was with Fitz. I’d just assumed. Only, I mentioned something about it - y’know, them – to him today and I’m pretty sure he’ll still be laughing at graduation. They’re just friends! So totally friends! Kinda weirdly close friends, but still!”

“So why the long face?”

“I got my hopes up for a bit. But then I remembered. Jemma’s had certified boyfriends. Milton, Will. So I’m back where I started. At least I was. Til just now. And she’s here. I mean…do you think she knows? About this place?”

Daisy raked her hands through her hair, anxious, only to find Bobbi smirking, a mischievous glint of victory in her eyes.

“Oh, sweetie, she knows,” Bobbi assured Daisy. “And as for that ‘certified boyfriends’ thing…she’s had certified girlfriends too.”

Daisy’s eyes narrowed.

“Me!” Bobbi confirmed, with a flourish. “She’s a bit of a Bambi but don’t be fooled. That girl can go.”

“So what happened with you two?” Daisy wondered. Bobbi shrugged, her expression softening.

“We were both high achievers,” she explained, “and both in the same field. Competing for attention, grants, grades… Neither of us wanted to compromise and well, too much competition stops being fun. It put a strain on us and luckily, we stepped out before we snapped. No hard feelings. Some that suck, of course, but we don’t hate each other, so that’s a plus.”

“Hmph.” Daisy’s shoulders slumped, and she resumed picking at her donut, pensive and somewhat put out.

“Hmph?” Bobbi repeated, curious.

“Well, Jemma���s still a high achiever. She probably wouldn’t have time for me anyway. It’s just going to collapse, it’s not – Never mind, I’ll just get over it.”

Bobbi shook her head, made a note on a cup, and passed it to the coffee girl without taking her eyes off Daisy for more than a moment.

“There’s only one way to know for sure,” she insisted. Daisy moped, but Bobbi slapped down an apricot danish in a napkin and drew her attention.

“Ask. The girl. Out,” Bobbi commanded. “Bring her something, make her laugh, get a conversation going. Come on, Daisy, I don’t have to coach you.”

“I don’t even know what she likes!” Daisy whined, though her defenses were falling left right and centre. “I could get her an Americano, that’s what I have- but then, what does that say about what I think about her? Or me? Cheap, basic, unoriginal. Great. But then if I get her something else, something fancier, she might not like it, or she could be allergic. Or tea? Maybe she likes tea. I mean she’s English, they must like tea right? No, that’s ridiculous. Not all English people like tea. So what then?”

Daisy met Bobbi’s eyes, desperate.

“As the ex, it is my duty to let you work all this out on your own, young Padawan,” Bobbi informed her sagely. But before Daisy could give up, Bobbi received her secret order from the coffee girl and pushed it across the counter to Daisy, alongside the apricot danish. Bobbi met her confused glance with a wink, and added: “As your best friend, it’s my duty to wingman you to the best of my ability. It’s a fine line.”

“You’re fantastic. I love you.”

“Ah, save it for Bambi!” Bobbi shooed Daisy away from the counter and Daisy went, gleefully, singing in her head, over to Jemma’s table. She had a moment to take in the dusky pinks and browns of Jemma’s outfit, and the way the light seemed to fall softer on her, and then Jemma looked up.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “can I help you?”

And just like that, the moment was gone, evaporated by the sudden grip of panic.

-

Jemma looked up, and she could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. Here was Daisy, so close her eyes were sparkling, and with an absent smile on her face like she didn’t have to think about it. And with an apricot danish in one hand, and what appeared to be a chai latte – though the label was partially covered – in the other. Jemma’s stomach rumbled. It was like a vision from the gods.

“I – I’m sorry,” she stammered, snapping herself out of her distraction. “Ah, can I help you?”

“Um. Yes. Maybe.” Don’t look at Bobbi, don’t look at Bobbi. It had been far too long since she’d had a proper date, especially with someone like Jemma. And even though Bobbi had promised, Daisy still wasn’t sure…

“I was wondering…”

Make her laugh.

“Did you swallow a magnet?”

Jemma blinked. “What?”

“Did you swallow a magnet?” Daisy repeated, her mouth bone-dry all of a sudden. “Because…you’re attractive.”

Jemma snorted. “That’s terrible.”

“I know,” Daisy groaned.

“No, I love it!”

“Really? Because I’ve got plenty more.” Daisy cleared her throat and leaned into the cheese, listing off pick-up lines in a variety of voices as she slid into the seat next to Jemma’s. “’Baby, I’ve got my ion you.’ ‘What’s your sine?’ ‘Are you full of berillium, gold and titanium? Because you are B-E-A-U-Ti-ful.’”

Jemma snorted again and curled up, giggling.

“Ten points for delivery,” she awarded.

“Oh! Speaking of delivery, these are for you.” Daisy pushed the gifts across the table, and Jemma bet into the danish with relish.

“Thank you, my favourite!”

“I had help,” Daisy confessed with a smirk. “A little birdie told me.” Jemma raised an eyebrow over Daisy’s shoulder at Bobbi, who shrugged innocently and went about wiping down and rearranging the counter.

“Well, are you having anything? I don’t have my little birdie on me today, but I’d be happy to return the favour.”

“Not a favour,” Daisy insisted. “A gift. A…hm, a –“

“A date?” Jemma grinned broadly. “With me? Really?”

“Wait, did you not get that?” Daisy frowned.

“No,” Jemma replied sarcastically, “the string of pick-up lines was completely lost on me. Yes, of course I got it! I just thought it was sweet how you got all flustered. I’ve been too intimidated to speak to you all year.”

“Intimidated?” Daisy laughed. “Why?”

“Because…” Jemma blushed. “You’ve swallowed a magnet.”

“Aw! That’s terrible!” Daisy crooned, flattered, as if the word terrible was sweet.

“I know!” Jemma moaned, but she couldn’t help smiling. “I couldn’t even remember your name until the other day, I’ve just been sitting in class pining all year!”

“You should’ve asked Fitz to hook us up! Does he know? About you?”

“Yes! I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I guess it still feels a little weird to talk to people about it. It’s strange being bi, I feel like I’m faking it half the time. Plus, I mean, I didn’t even know that you were – that you could even be interested until he told me. Oh, I hope you don’t mind about that, by the way.”

Daisy shrugged. “I’ve already told him I’m cool with it. I’m pretty out.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Obviously not out enough, though, if you didn’t pick up on it. I should start wearing rainbow flags to school…or plaid, at least. I could rock some plaid, don’t you think?”

“You already play softball!”

“I do roller-derby too, actually,” Daisy added. Jemma’s eyes widened.

“I have always wanted to try that!”

“It’s a load of fun. You will get the crap beaten out of you though.”

Jemma’s eyes lit up immediately.

“Any gruesome injury stories?”

“Ew! We’re eating!”

“Well, I’m eating,” Jemma corrected. “And I’m a bio student. I’m used to it.”

“You fascinate me,” Daisy said, more sincere than she had been expecting. Belatedly, she realised Jemma was right and that she still did not have her food with her. She glanced over her shoulder at it, and saw the coffee and donut and her bag still by the counter.

“Um. I’ll be right back.“

Bobbi met her eyes pointedly, and pushed the coffee and donut across the counter with a salacious sparkle.

“I’ll bring you guys a lunch menu later.”

“Shut up,” Daisy scoffed, blushing.

She returned to Jemma’s table, to find Jemma eagerly awaiting her arrival.

“We don’t have to talk about gory injuries if you don’t want to,” Jemma clarified. “I can be a bit gross. Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I have some killer stories! I just like to keep my blood and bones separate from my icing and sprinkles.”

“Fair enough. We’ll just have to find something different to talk about, then.”

Jemma pulled her anatomy notebook toward her and Daisy frowned, confused. Shouldn’t they be heading away from blood and bones? But as she watched, Jemma turned to a blank page, tore off a corner and started writing on it. A phone number.

“Just in case you wanted to tell me those stories some other time,” she explained as she slid it over to Daisy.

“Can’t wait!”

“But for now, blood-free, hm?” Jemma mused. “Well, okay, let’s start at the beginning.”

She held out her hand for a shake.

“Jemma Simmons. Biochemistry.”

“Daisy Johnson. Counterterrorism.”

From there, they launched into a lively conversation, swinging from favourite foods and seasons of the year to mockeries of dating advertisements, anecdotes, relatives and ancestors, life goals and hobbies and home and everything in between. They had lunch, and then Jemma walked Daisy to class, and grinned at nothing and rocked on her heels and shivered with delight after Daisy went inside. Daisy had given Jemma her number too, and Jemma rolled and flipped the paper between her fingers gleefully. It had been a long time since she’d had a date with someone special, lost track of time, kept them on her mind. It had been a long time since she’d felt this sort of chemistry with anyone, or had it reciprocated so enthusiastically or with a warmth and vibrancy that reminded her this is real.

Jemma ambled toward home without a rush, floating on the high of her blissfully, unexpectedly successful day. She sat on the train, barely but contentedly containing the urge to introduce herself to everyone that walked on with, “hi, I’m Jemma Simmons, I have a girlfriend. She’s amazing.” Then, as they pulled away from the station at last, her phone buzzed. A message from Daisy.

Remind me to show you a proper bat grip tomorrow. McLean Field, 9am.

Jemma smiled so wide she had to bite her lip to contain it, and proceeded to spend most of the rest of the trip home entering their next date, with care and flourish, into her diary.

[travelingtheusa]

FLORIDA

2021 Feb 23 (Tue) – We went out for lunch today to Micanopy. It was a small, historic town with lots of antique shops.  We wanted to eat at a restaurant but it was closed so we went next door to Coffee & Cream where we enjoyed chicken salad sandwiches with rice and beans. After lunch, we walked up and down the main street wandering in some of the shops and reading the historic plaques describing the history of the town.  

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at the post office to mail off some items and at a convenience store to pick up wine and get some lottery tickets.  Then we stopped at the Antique Emporium.  It was a large warehouse with 55 vendor shops inside.  There were so many items we used to use for sale.  There is no faster way to feel old than to walk through an antique shop and see your life’s belongings laid out and considered to be “old stuff.”

2021 Feb 22 (Mon) – We took our time closing up this morning. Bonnie and Sheba got to play outside and we chatted with Rich and Margaret for a while.  Then we packed up and left Hernando at 11:35 a.m.  The campground was just 40 miles away and we were here within an hour.  Ocala North RV Park is a very nice, very clean facility.  It is large and there were workers putting in new lights, a shuffle board, and a bocce ball court.  They are getting ready for a luau in two days.  The clerk who checked us in said the owner bought the rundown campground two years ago and has been working on renovating it.  He’s done an excellent job.

 2021 Feb 21 (Sun) – We all drove over to Matt & Michele’s today.  They were hosting a drone speed course event for their local club.  It was amazing to watch these little things zip around the yard, sounding like a bunch of angry bees.  We could watch the drones fly around the course and watch the TV screens to see what the pilots were seeing in their headsets.

     When we got back to the house, Margaret made roast beef sandwiches for us.  For dinner, she cooked baked clams and steaks.  We visited for a bit after dinner then returned to the rig to get ready for tomorrow’s move.

 2021 Feb 20 (Sat) – I did some laundry today.  Margaret was kind enough to let me use her washer and dryer. Matt & Michele came over for dinner and Margaret outdid herself, as usual.  I think she loves to cook and is glad to have people visit.  She not only made lots to eat, but packed us a take-home box.

2021 Feb 19 (Fri) – It started out cloudy, rained, then got really cool.  We had to switch to long sleeve shirts and pants as the day wore on.

     We drove to WalMart at 8 a.m. to get an oil change on the truck. There was a line of six cars in front of us waiting for service.  We checked in then went shopping where we spent almost $200 on items in the store. The damn oil change should be free considering we shopped while waiting and spent so much we would not have spent other wise.  Lol.

     We got back around 10:30 a.m. and Margaret & Rich took us to Matt & Michele’s house.  Paul and Margaret used to work with Matt at NYSDOT.  They were building their home and a drone speed course when we were here last January.  It is all finished now and everything is very nice.  The drone control center and speed course are quite the thing to see.

     We returned to the house and finished off Margaret’s egg salad. Later, we went to dinner at Crump’s Landing in Homasossa.  It had a large grass covered roof over a seated patio area.  There were plastic panels pinned in around the sides to keep it warm along with large gas heaters.  It was very nice and the food was good.  After dinner, Rich drove us over to Monkey Island.  It is a small island in the middle of the Homosassa River where a troupe of monkeys lives.  It was too dark to see anything but there is a house and a replica lighthouse on the island that is little more than a mound of dirt in the middle of the river. Guess the monkeys were asleep because we didn’t see any.  It was too dark anyway.

 2021 Feb 18 (Thu) – We packed up and left Tampa at 10:30 a.m. It was a little more than two hours to Hernando where we are staying in the driveway of friends, Margaret & Rich. We were here last January where we celebrated the New Year with them.  Margaret was waiting for our arrival with egg salad sandwiches.  We visited for a couple of hours.  Later, she made sausage and peppers heroes for dinner.

 2021 Feb 17 (Wed) – I went back to ENT doctor today.  First I had a hearing test with the audiologist then a follow-up with the ENT doctor.  I was told I have hearing loss in both ears and should go back to the VA for a re-evaluation on the hearing aids.  The doctor prescribed prednisone for 6 days and a Flonase.  Both are intended to reduce swelling and allow the fluid behind my ear to be reabsorbed.

    After the doctor, we dropped the prescription off to CVS then went to lunch at a Mexican restaurant.  After a stop at U-Haul for propane, we went back to CVS to pick up my prescriptions.

 2021 Feb 16 (Tue) – Johnny & Linda and Rick & Brenda came over for a barbecue.  It was chilly with an overcast sky and cool wind blowing.  At least it didn’t rain.  We had burgers, baked beans, potato salad, tossed salad and a chocolate cake to celebrate Brenda’s birthday.  We visited for almost 4 hours.  It was very enjoyable.  After they left, we took down the town and cleaned up.

 2021 Feb 15 (Mon) – I went to the ENT doctor today.  He wanted to follow up and see how my ear was doing after using the drops.  While the pain is gone, my ear still feels stuffed up.  The doctor believes that I have fluid behind my ear.  He asked me to come back for a hearing test.

     After the doctor, we stopped at Bonefish Grill for lunch.  The Bang Bang Shrimp is good every time! Then we stopped at Publix to pick up some groceries.  When we got back to the campground, Paul set up the covered tent for tomorrow’s barbecue.

2021 Feb 14 (Sun – Valentine’s Day) – We went to the Hard Rock Café & Casino for lunch.  Thought we’d enjoy a meal and a little gambling.  What an UNenjoyable experience!  The place is huge with several parking garages surrounding the main casino. We walked deep into the building before we found the café.  The food was OK but very expensive - $101!  After lunch, we went up to the second floor to the non-smoking lounge.  We searched for 10 and 25 cent machines.  That didn’t make any difference.  When you found a 25 cent machine, you had to bet a minimum of 30 credits – each credit being equal to 25 cents.  We both put $20 in a machine and after just 3 or 4 pushes of the button, we were broke.  It is nice when you can find a machine to play that will last a little while. After all, you look for entertainment for a while.  I don’t mind losing my money if the machine lets me play for an hour or so.  

     So, we went back down to the first floor and stopped in at a lounge for a cocktail and just enjoy the ambiance of the place.  We walked up to the plastic shield and waited for service. Two bartenders were making drinks and even though they came by us to get bottles off the shelf, no one said anything to us.  The bar was oval shaped and they were waiting on people on the other side of the bar. After about ten minutes, we spotted a waitress.  Paul asked if we could get service at a table.  She said yes so we sat at a small table and ordered our drinks.  I asked for a double shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream and Paul had a shot of 43.  My drink wasn’t more than an ounce.  In fact, I questioned her as to whether it was even a double as it looked like so little. The charge for my drink was $22. We left the casino feeling ripped off and very unsatisfied with our experience.  Sad.

2021 Feb 13 (Sat) – A fierce thunderstorm rolled through last night. The campground is full of puddles and squishy grass.  It rained off and on all day today.  There are more thunderstorms on the way over the next two or three days.

     At 11:30, we wandered over to the livestock barn to see what was going on with the little piggies. They were having some kind of contest.  A group of ten kids with pigs entered the ring. Each one had a long, thin switch that they used to continuously smack the pig on the right side of the face. Apparently, that is how they control the pig; with the switch and a stiff brush in their other hand.  It looked like a confusing melee to me.  The pigs walked all over the place and the kids followed, switching them in the face while trying to maintain eye contact with the judge.  A judge watched and selected two or three contestants.  They left the arena and entered cages on the side.  The rest of the contestants were dismissed and the selectees came back out, fist bumped the judge, then left, too.  Then, the next group of ten entered the ring.  We watched for about a half hour.  The animals were beautiful – strong, healthy looking beasts with ears that stood straight up and an energy to their trot. Some pigs were pink but more were other colors – chocolate brown, black with a pink band around their center, black with pink spots or pink with black splotches.   It must be more difficult than it looks.

 2021 Feb 12 (Fri) – We met Brenda & Rick for lunch at Portillo’s. The restaurant is famous in Chicago for its hot dogs and chocolate cake.  We sat outside and visited for almost two hours.  It was fun.

     Next door was a Walgreens.  After lunch, Paul and I went to find cards for our grandsons.  We addressed them, put in a few candy hearts, and mailed them off.

 2021 Feb 11 (Thu) – We went to Cracker Barrel for lunch.  We were appalled to see many tables with the dishes still sitting on them after diners have left.  The service was very slow.  We watched the hostess come in, haphazardly wipe off a table and then seat a couple there.  She definitely is not COVID protective.

     After lunch, we went to Lazydays which was right next door to the restaurant.  After buying a few supplies, we met with a salesman who took us to look at several rigs. We found two we liked and when we returned to the office, he worked hard to get us to buy one of the RVs.  He even brought in the boss to talk to us. Fortunately, he saw we weren’t looking to buy right now so he just chatted amiably with us then left. Good.  I didn’t feel like going through a high pressure sales pitch.  They offered to give us a trade in of $32,000 on our current rig.

     Campers are starting to come into the campground.  There will be a Swine Festival this weekend for the local kids club.

2021 Feb 10 (Wed) – Paul tested the charge on several stanchions and found high voltage running through the line.  I called the office and they sent an electrician over.  He said they have a fair coming up and run a higher voltage over the line.  With lots of people drawing power, it causes the voltage to drop.  Since we are the only camper here, the voltage is too high and they can’t reduce it.  It should be running around 128 but it’s over 133 and tripping the surge protector (which we thought was broken but was really doing its job).  So, we packed up and moved to the other side of the campground where they are not setting up for the fair.  The voltage seems to be OK over here.  There’s one other camper in this area.

     After the set up, we drove to MacDill Air Force Base.  We have tried to get reservations on that base a couple of times but they were always full.  They have over 400 spaces in their campground.  It was full and the sites were very close to each other.  We were just as glad we didn’t get in.  

     We then stopped at the commissary and picked up some groceries, then walked next door to the Class VI Package Store and picked up some wine.  

 2021 Feb 9 (Tue) – We drove to a laundromat to do some wash. They had a value card system in place. You have to put money on a card and put that into the washer and dryer.  It is a confusing system but we managed.  For two washers and two dryers, we spent $12.70.  That was high.

     While the clothes were doing their thing, we went to WalMart and picked up oil and DEF for the truck.  Paul asked about having an oil change done but the clerk said they didn’t have a lift big enough to fit the truck.  He told us to go to the WalMart in Valrico.

     We had lunch at Duke’s Brewhouse.  It was a relatively new place (as an evaluator said on Trip Advisor) but was not crowded.  The walls were covered with big screen TVs playing every kind of sports.  The Tamp Bay Buccaneers are big news after their win at the Superbowl this past weekend.  I had a Greek flatbread and Paul had a Caesar wrap.  The food was OK.

    The electric breaker kicked off twice.  Our surge protector usually takes two minutes to bring the electric back on.  It did it the first time but not the second.  Paul thinks the surge protector has bit the dust.  It is almost four years old.  That’s an awful short life.  Add to that the Jetpack that keeps giving us problems in accessing the Internet.  Ugh.

 2021 Feb 8 (Mon) – I found an ENT doctor and went to see him this morning.  He said I have a bacterial infection in my ear and prescribed ear drops.  He said to stop the Amoxicillin that the urgent care doctor prescribed.  I am supposed to go back to see the ENT doctor in a week.

     We then went to Smokey Bones for lunch.  The ribs were delicious!  Then I ran into CVS (which happened to be in a Target store) to get the ear drops.  I spent a good part of the day cancelling reservations and appointments back in New York. I was supposed to fly out today.

2021 Feb 7 (Sun) – We packed up and left Sarasota at 10 a.m. It was an hour and a half drive to the Florida State Fairgrounds in Tampa.  Sometimes I have to wonder about our timing.  The Superbowl is being played in Tampa tonight.  We always seem to arrive somewhere where something amazing or very big is going on – like a presidential rally or a big concert.

      When we arrived, we discovered we didn’t have an assigned site. The saleslady had acknowledged our reservation and promised to send us information before we arrived.  She didn’t do that.  The guard called someone who told them to just point us to the camping area and to pick a spot.  That’s what we did.  There are two RVs camped along the fence next to the interstate.  Having camped near the interstate before, we knew it would be too loud with the 24/7 traffic.  So we found a site on the other side of the field as far away from the road as we could get.

     After set up, we went out to get some lunch.  We were also going to do some laundry but my ear was hurting very badly.  I got a message from Southwest that I had to have a negative COVID test within 72 hours of arriving in NY.  On top of that, New York is getting another snowstorm today and another is scheduled for Thursday, all on top of a snowstorm they had a few days ago.  I decided to cancel my trip until I could get my ear repaired.  Maybe the COVID test will not be a requirement in another month with the vaccine out there.  We’ll see.

     My sister gave me a homeopathic treatment for my ear so we went to Sprouts Market where I picked up some ear drops.  It did help to alleviate some of the pressure in my ear.

 2021 Feb 6 (Sat) – We stayed in the trailer all day except to walk the dog.  The wind was blowing briskly but it was more balmy than cold.  Paul dumped the tanks this evening in readiness for our move tomorrow.

 2021 Feb 5 (Fri) – It was cool today.  Had to wear long pants, socks, and a jacket in the morning.  We ran several errands around town.  We went to Millie’s Restaurant for lunch.  It was a delightful little café decorated with a French motif.  I told Paul that I would like that wallpaper in our next house, wherever we settle down. Next stop was at Petco to pick up dry food for Bonnie.  In the same shopping center was a Total Wine where we picked up some wine, a cordial, and a margarita mix.  We stopped in a mall to look for sweat pants and jeans for me.  It was about 3/4s empty.  I guess COVID killed most of the stores.  There was a JC Penney’s where I found a pair of soft slacks, not sweats nor jeans.  We looked at cruise wear but decided to wait before buying any.

     After we got home and dropped off our purchases, we ran back out to a medical clinic.  My ear has been painful for a couple of days and I am getting some blood on a Q-tip. The doctor thinks I might have ruptured the ear drum and recommended that I see an ENT doctor.  She prescribed an antibiotic.  I think she should have cleaned the ear out with a topical antiseptic but she refused to do it.  I called back home to my cancer doctor to be sure there was no problem with an interaction with my chemo medication.  I stopped taking it yesterday.  A nurse called back and said there would be no problem with the two medications.

     When we got back, we fed the animals then went into the lodge for dinner and drinks. I still had my free drink to claim from the Queen of Hearts drawing.  The bar was full and service was very slow but we finally got our meal.  The Exalted Ruler came over to chat with us and Paul met a couple of people who were from4rrrr our hometown.  One man came over to sit with us and reminisce about the old town.

2021 Feb 4 (Thu) – I called my brother, Gregory, and made arrangements for dinner.  We met them at Longhorn Restaurant.  The meal was delicious!  Afterward, we went to Greg’s house to visit with him and Potsy for a while. ��He had us laughing with his stories of doctors, nail guns, and children.  I love his sense of humor.

 2021 Feb 3 (Wed) – We pulled up stakes and drove 120 miles northwest to Sarasota.  We are camped on the side of an Elks Lodge.  There are 3 campers hooked up.  We got the only 50 amp site. We parked so another camper can fit between us and the motorcoach next to us.  The RV is due to come in tomorrow.

     We went out to pick up groceries and dog food, drop off postcards for mailing, and refuel.  We stopped at the Bayan Tree Chocolate & Café for lunch.  They had a display case with specialty chocolates right when you walked in.  We sat and ordered off the menu.  I got a quiche and Paul had a sandwich.  We took home chocolate chili for dinner.  It did not taste as good as it sounded.

     At 5 p.m. we went to the outdoor Tiki Bar behind our trailer for a drink.  Several people were in there with heaters and a fireplace all blazing away.  It was cold and everyone was in jackets.  We then went into the lodge to pay for our site. We sat at the bar and had a drink. It was Queen of Hearts night so we bought tickets for that as well as the 50-50 drawing.  I won a free drink.  We paid the bartender for our 4-night stay.

 2021 Feb 2 (Tue) – We drove the Loop Road this morning.  It was pretty cool.  It is a 40 mile road that loops through the Big Cypress National Preserve.  About 12 miles of it is hard packed gravel (unpaved).  It was in pretty good condition with few potholes.  It was a narrow, 2-lane road that wound through the Everglades. There were cypress trees and bushes lining both sides of the road and lots of water on either side.  We spotted 3 alligators and several egrets.

      When we came out on the main road, we drove to Everglades City to take an airboat ride.  We were an hour early, so we stopped at a deli on the Miccosukee Indian Reservation for lunch.  We bought a meatball hero, a bag of chips, and an iced tea.  We sat in the car and split the meal between us.  At 1 p.m. we drove to the meeting spot.  It was an entrance into the canal with no office building. Two airboats were sitting there, waiting for customers.  Our guide came over, introduced himself (CPT Ryan), and gave us paperwork to sign absolving them of all liability if we got hurt.  It was only the guide and the two of us on the boat.  We wore headsets so we could hear him speaking over the drone of the engine.  He drove us through the Everglades for better than an hour and a half regaling us with stories of his childhood and descriptions of the area with its wildlife, fauna, and flora.  We saw gators, great blue herons, egrets, vultures, and turtles.  It seemed like we went deep into the wild and untamed wilderness.  The water was so clean and pure looking.  Not at all what you would expect a swamp to be like.  We saw a couple of alligators and many kinds of birds and even a turtle.  I was hoping to catch sight of a python but our guide said they were hard to spot – usually only when a bird or gator has caught one.  What a great experience!

 2021 Feb 1 (Mon) – We packed up and headed out at 9:30 a.m.  It was 110 miles to the Big Cypress National Preserve where we are camped in the Midway Campground.  There are 32 campsites arranged around the perimeter of a large pond.  We have electric hookup only.  We dumped our tanks and filled the fresh water tank before pulling into our assigned site.  The camp host met us at the entrance, ran through a litany of rules, and wished us well. He warned us to beware of the wildlife. When I asked him what kind of wildlife they have here in the park, he said “Everything!”  Does he think they have a zoo in here?

     After set up and a quick lunch, we headed out to the visitor center. It was very small.  We watched a video about the ecosystem but it failed to explain how it all works together.  Outside the center was a wooden walkway that ran along a canal. There were many alligators in the water as well as different kinds of fish.  It was quite thrilling.

     We then drove to Everglades City.  It looked like it has been pretty much beat up over the years.  Almost all of the buildings were raised 10 or more feet off the ground.  Is that for storm surge or wildlife avoidance?  The city is laid out in a large grid.  The houses have large yards; they might each be on one or two acres apiece. The local museum was closed.  We stopped in a very old store-turned-museum and wandered around all the old stuff.  They had interesting signs up describing how various equipment/furniture/ appliances were used.  The Smallwood Store was built in 1906 on Chokoloskee Island.

     My hair is going through another kind of metamorphosis.  It seems to be losing its curl and is more coarse. I guess the change in chemo strength is doing something.  I made reservations for a flight back home next month for a PET Scan and checkup.  I am not looking forward to going back to New York in February.  It’s cold! And with the damn virus, they might make me take a COVID test.  Keep your fingers crossed I don’t have to do that.  I won’t go back then if they try to make me take that thing.  It is too painful.

2021 Jan 31 (Sun) – We went into the Elks lodge for brunch at 11:30 a.m.  The food was very good.  At 5:30 p.m. we drove to Marathon to meet Tim at the Sunset Grill.  We had dinner and watched the sun set. There were clouds in the sky so we did not get much color.  A gentleman sitting next to me got a very interesting looking appetizer. I asked him what it was and he said it was cheesecake spring rolls.  I asked him many questions about it.  What was that name again?  Did the waiter recommend it?  It is sweet or tart?  Is it supposed to be a dessert?  He said it was delicious and he couldn’t taste any cream cheese at all.  We finally got our hands on a menu and looked up the appetizer, hoping to find out what ingredients could be put into a cheesecake spring roll that would erase all taste of cream cheese.  What a laugh we had!!!  There was a cheesesteak spring roll on the menu.  The bar was crowded, he had misheard the waiter, and he never bothered to check it out on the menu.  We had quite a chuckle all night long as we ordered and ate our “cheesecake” spring rolls.

     There are the nastiest gnats around here.  Their bites sting and just keep itching.  Our legs and arms are covered with these small red blotches that won’t stop itching.  Ugh. Well, we have checked off the Florida Keys from our bucket list.  Time to move on.

2021 Jan 30 (Sat) – We had planned to take a glass bottom boat tour in Key Largo with Tim today.  He called to say that the weather for the day was bad for boat rides.  The wind is blowing pretty hard which would give us a rough ride.  So we cancelled that plan and arranged to meet Tim at Robbie’s Marina in Islamorada.  Every time we drive down the road, the marina is packed.  Apparently, they have lots of activities going on there and we wanted to see what they have. 

      We got there at 11:30 a.m.  There was a storyboard that told the story of Scarface.  The owner found a tarpon with its jaw badly torn and hanging.  He called a friend who sewed the jaw back in place.  The owner nursed the fish back to health and after six months, released it back into the wild.  Apparently, it liked the treatment because it continued to hang around the marina.  In addition, it brought friends back for handouts, too.  Today, you can pay $2.25 to walk out on the dock to look at the tarpons gathered around and you can buy a bucket of food for $4.00 to feed them.  The dock was crowded with people and pelicans looking to sample the food.  We skipped the melee and had lunch on the patio.  The margarita was terrible.  We told the waitress that and she brought another drink.  It was a little better but still not good.  The food was not that good either.

      Tim’s friend, Jimmy, joined us.  He and Tim met back up in New York working on the casino boat that went out of Freeport.  They have both moved down here to Florida.  Jimmy works for a pool company.  He was pretty funny.  Interestingly, Tim is talking about getting an RV.

      It was cloudy, windy, and cool all day long.  We went on to the patio at the Elks lodge at 6 p.m. to watch the sunset.  We were sure that with all the clouds, the sunset would be fantastic.  Unfortunately, the clouds were too thick and too low on the horizon.  There were no beautiful colors to see.  A couple sitting at a nearby table live next door to the lodge and came over to watch the sunset, too.  They peppered us with questions about RVs.  They were dressed in winter jackets, gloves and hats.  Guess they thought it was cold.

2021 Jan 29 (Fri) – We met Tim at the Florida Keys History & Discovery Center.  It is located on the property of the Islander Resort in their convention center.  It was small but interesting.  Tim and I got in free because we were veterans.  Paul got the senior rate.

      After the center, we went across the street to Lorelei for lunch.  We found a table in the sun out on the patio and enjoyed a delightful meal together.  After lunch, Paul and I stopped at Publix to pick up a few things.  We also stopped at the post office where I mailed off our passport renewals.  Let’s see how long it takes to get the new passports.

      Our mail arrived this afternoon.  I asked to have our mail forwarded 2 days ago.  UPS marked it as a 3 day shipment but it arrived in 2 days.  Unfortunately, the package was marked as one of two packages.  The tracking number for the second package says it is scheduled to arrive here at the Elks Lodge on Tuesday.  We leave on Monday.  The UPS driver said they could forward it to us.  Just leave the forwarding address with the camp host here.

      A cold front came in today.  The temperature dropped to a low of 59 degrees.  Lol.  The Floridians brought out their parkas, gloves, scarves, and hats. 

2021 Jan 28 (Thu) – We went to the laundromat this morning to wash clothes.  We sat in the truck while the clothes washed, then drove to a Mexican restaurant for lunch while they were in the dryer.

      I spent an hour putting together an annual report on finances for the SMART Nomads.  Later in the day at 4 p.m. there was a Zoom meeting with National Muster committee (I volunteered to chair the Administrative Team).  The meeting went on for about an hour. 

2021 Jan 27 (Wed) – We drove to Marathon and met Tim at his boat at 9:30 a.m.  Before we got there, we stopped at a nearby Walgreens to have passport pictures taken. He took us out on the dinghy to his dive boat then we rode out to the Sombrero Reef, the third largest reef in the world.  The water was such a beautiful green-blue color.  Tim said the water was not cold but I thought it was so I did not go in. Paul put on a weight belt and a belt to hold the breathing regulator in place.  Right after he jumped into the water with just his bathing suit, Tim promptly donned a wetsuit.  So much for the water not being cold!  Paul and Tim spent about an hour diving on the reef hookah style (as Tim calls it).  The 50’ hoses were attached to the oxygen tanks that stayed on the boat while they swam around the boat.  I looked over the sides and watched the colorful fish go crazy for crackers I threw in the water.

     After we got back, we transferred to the dinghy and rode to the Dockside Grill where we enjoyed a refreshing drink.  Then we returned to the dock and came back to the campground, stopping at Walgreens to pick up our pictures then at Winn Dixie to pick up a few groceries.

     At 6:45 p.m. we went into the Elks lodge for dinner and to play the Queen of Hearts.  The woman whose name was drawn did not choose the $900 Teaser.  She drew a card but it was not the Queen of Hearts.  So she won nothing.  Next week’s drawing will have a prize over $32,000.

 2021 Jan 26 (Tue) – We drove to the post office to make application to renew our passports.  The clerk told us to go online.  Turns out that all renewals have to be done by mail.  That means we have to go get our pictures taken somewhere.  Ugh.

     We went for breakfast at the Bitton Bistro.  Turned out to be a French café.  The owner, Michel, is from Morocco.  He was the only person working in the café and there were 3 tables taken and several people coming and going to buy pastries.  The food was good and we even bought pastries for tomorrow’s breakfast.

     We met Tim at the Crane Point Museum.  It is a 63 acre hammock.  A hammock in Florida is used in the southeastern United States for stands of trees, usually hardwood, that form an ecological island in a contrasting ecosystem.  Hammocks grow on elevated areas, often just a few inches high, surrounded by wetlands that are too wet to support them.  There were birds in a cage being cared for by rehabbers.  The group included pelicans, cormorants, owls, kestrels, egrets, herons, and an eagle.  A little further on was a pedicure pool.  People could take their shoes off and put their feet in the water. Little fish nibbled on the bottom of their feet.  Four people were sitting on the dock with their feet in the water.  They said it tickled.  We wandered through thick foliage with lots of roots sticking up in the pathway.  It was a rough hike through the trees.

     After the tour, we drove to the Overseas Pub & Grill and had lunch outside on the patio.  It had an Irish menu and I enjoyed shepherd’s pie.  Tim had corned beef stew and Paul just had a burger.

 2021 Jan 25 (Mon) – What an illuminating day it was!  We drove to Key West today.  It was 90 miles one way.  The road (US 1) passed over one island after another.  Each island is called a key and there are many keys (also called a cay).  The houses and buildings are painted in lovely pastel shades of pink, green, blue, peach, yellow and dove gray.  Some islands are very built up and others are sparse.  There are many boats and marinas along the way.  Key West was incredibly crowded.  The streets are narrow and the houses are tightly packed.  The entire place was so built up!  We had to wait on a long line just to get our picture taken at the 0 mile marker for the southernmost point in the Continental U.S. There were so many people in town and no parking that we couldn’t even tour the Truman Little White House or Hemingway’s Home.  It was very disappointing.  

     We did stop in at a Butterfly Conservancy.  That was delightful.  There were butterflies flying everywhere!  The docent told us they buy 300 egg sacks a week and release 15-30 new butterflies into the screen area every day.  There were also very colorful little birds flying around.

     We drove over to the Naval Air Station to check out the Sigsbee Campground.  Although they have almost 100 hookups, there were not many RVs camped there at all. We guess that only servicemen who are stationed at the base are allowed to camp there.  It was nice but the sites were tight.  We are just as glad that we never got in there.  

 2021 Jan 24 (Sun) – We drove to the Florida Keys History and Discovery Center in Islamorada but it was closed.  It is located in the Islander Resort and a guard at the gate told us they are only open Wednesday to Saturday.  That was disappointing.  

     We drove down the road to the Island Grill and had a meal outside on the beach.  Out table was a long table with two trees growing up through the table.  After lunch, we drove further south to Bud ‘n Mary’s Marina.  A friend of ours told us to go see the fish there.  There were loads of pelicans begging scraps from a fisherman cleaning the day’s catch.  In the water was a manatee, several very long fish (we think they were mackerel), and lots of minnows.  The water was a beautiful color.

     We stopped at the Hurricane Monument.  A carved granite marker stands on the side of the road in tribute to the people who lost their lives in a hurricane in 1935.  Next, we stopped at the History of Diving Museum.  It was a very informative place.  There were displays of deep sea diving gear, SCUBA gear, and underwater equipment.  Lots of storyboards told about the personalities that made breakthroughs in diving and contributed to the sport.  We enjoyed the museum very much.

 2021 Jan 23 (Sat) – We drove to the post office this morning to get pictures and submit paperwork to renew our passports.  We will be taking a cruise to Australia and New Zealand next year.  Following the cruise, we are planning to take a camper around Australia for 2 or 3 months. That’s when our current passports will expire.  We are renewing them now in order to avoid the possibility that our passports might expire before we get back home.  Unfortunately, the post office was closed.  So we went next door to the Made 2 Order café and had a late breakfast.

     After our meal, we drove to Islamorada to the Theater of the Sea.  It was fun.  We got on a tour that went to several stations.  First was the fish display.  There were sting rays, parrot fish, and nurse sharks in shallow pools. The guide described the fish and showed how they train the sharks.  Next to the display area was a wading pool where people could wade in the water with some of the fish.

     Next stop was at a glass enclosure that held two alligators; one female and one male.  We learned the females grow to about 6-8 feet and the males can grow up to 14 feet. Another enclosure held a crocodile where the guide explained the difference between the crocodilians.  

     After that was a stop at the turtle pools.  They had leatherbacks, loggerheads, and green sea turtles.  One turtle floated around the pool with a life vest on.  There was something wrong with its shell that prevented it from surfacing.  The vest helps it to be able to take a breath. These critters were so big!

     Then we went to 3 shows.  The first was where they had several parrots and macaws.  The emcee described the different types of exotic birds and where they come from.  Then we all went to a large pool where two dolphins performed tricks for the audience. Beside the pool were two small pools where people were swimming with the dolphins.  The place offered the opportunity to swim with dolphins, sting rays, and sharks, all for an additional fee.  The admission fee was pretty steep - $87 for the two of us and that was with a 10% discount!  After the dolphins, we went to another pool where they had sea lions perform tricks, too. And, again, there were people swimming with the sea lions in small pools near the main pool.

     The tour ended with a ride on a bottomless boat.  The boat had benches on the four sides of the boat with an opening in the center.  The two dolphins from the show came swimming by and popped up in the center of the boat and did tricks inside and on the side of the boat while we rode out and back on the lake.  The guide said the entire park is landlocked so they pump in over 11 million gallons of water every day.

     After the park, we drove to the “world famous” Lorelei Restaurant. It is a bar with a very large patio on three sides that sits right on the bay shore.  We found a table where Tim joined us.  He was meeting a friend who is in Florida on vacation.  The friend didn’t want to come to the table so he sat up in the walkway in his wheelchair watching the women go by. Joey was also there, sitting up on the walkway with a friend.  

 2021 Jan 22 (Fri) – We drove to Marathon today to see Tim and take a ride on his boat.  He actually has two boats.  One he lives on and the other is his dive boat.  He can take out groups of up to six people to dive on a nearby reef.  His son, Joey, was also there.  

     We parked the truck and got on the dive boat.  Tim drove from the dock to a nearby restaurant where we docked at the pier and had lunch on the patio.  After a couple of margaritas, we got back on the boat and rode out into the ocean.  We parked (can you park a boat?) out near the 7 mile bridge and watched the sunset. Sadly, there were no clouds in the sky so the sunset was pretty bland.  You have to have clouds in the sky in order to have a beautiful sunset or sunrise.

     We returned to the marina where Tim anchored his dive boat and we transferred to a little dinghy for a ride back to the dock.  It was tight and a little nerve racking but we did it without incident.  It was a good day.

     When we got back to the lodge, I went in and asked if they had any leftovers.  It was prime rib night and I thought I could get some of the leftover food.  It turned out they had plenty left and we wound up sitting down to dinner at 8:30 p.m.  Ugh.  That is SO late to eat a heavy meal.  We brought most of the meal back to the RV.

2021 Jan 21 (Thu) – After the motorhome next to us left, we readjusted our position in the campsite.  We fit much better now.  We have no TV stations over the air.  Paul had to put the satellite dish up on the roof but it is working fine.

     My brother, Tim, came over this morning.  We were stuck in the campground because I was waiting for UPS to deliver my medicine (I have to sign for it).  At 1 p.m. I called UPS and asked to pick up the package at their office tomorrow. The clerk I spoke with (sounding like she was in India) arranged it.  We then went out to lunch at Tower of Pizza. Tim said it is the closest thing to New York pizza outside of New York. It was OK.  

     We returned to the campground and sat down by the water.  A truck pulled up with a 100 gallon tank on the back. The driver put a hose in the water, turned on a generator, and began pumping water into the tank.  It turns out that he sells salt water to aquariums for their collections.  Who would have thought you could make a career out of that?  A UPS truck pulled up and, low and behold, my medication and our forwarded mail were both on the truck.  Luckily, we were here so I could sign for my medicine.  

     There was a beautiful sunset tonight.  Tim, who lives on his boat in Marathon (an island further south in the Keys), says the sunsets seem to go on for hours down here.  The water is incredibly clear.  We walked out on a pier they have here at the lodge.  There are little needle nose gars swimming in the water.  They blend in with the water and algae so much that it is difficult to see them.  I could not spot any dolphins or manatees.

 2021 Jan 20 (Wed) – We are in The Keys!  We packed up and left South Bay at 9 a.m. and drove 3 hours to Tavernier.  We are camped at an Elks Lodge on Overseas Highway.  The lodge is right on the water.  The Keys is on a narrow strip of land flanked by the Gulf of Mexico on one side and the Atlantic Ocean on the other.  The sites are very tight.  We got into our assigned site (# 13) but we could adjust a little.     The motor home next to us will be leaving tomorrow and we will readjust our position after they leave and before the next RV gets here.

      We went into the lodge at 6 p.m. for dinner.  They had a Queens of Hearts drawing at 7:30 p.m.  That was a hoot.  The prize is over $31,000.  The reason the prize has grown so big is that they have a Teaser.  Tonight’s Teaser is $900.  If your ticket gets drawn, you get to turn a card over.  If you turn a Queen of Hearts, you win the entire pot (+$31,000). You can opt to take the Teaser ($900) and they still turn a card over.  If it’s the Queen of Hearts, you win nothing and they start a new game. Twenty-seven cards have been turned over so far.  The winner took the Teaser and the card that was turned over was a Queen of Diamonds. The game is still on.  The next drawing will be next Wednesday.

     I got a series of reservations from the Newburgh KOA for our caravan this summer.  The costs were all above our budgeted amount.  I called and spoke with the manager of the campground.  She explained that she had to just get something into the system to hold our sites.  The price adjustments will come later and not to worry.

 2021 Jan 19 (Tue) – We drove into West Palm Beach today. After a quick lunch at Zaxby’s, we took a ride on the Diva Duck boat.  There were just 8 adults and 2 children on the boat.  It was a weird sensation to go from the road into the water. The woman narrating the tour was very good and had lots of tongue-in-cheek jokes about ducks.

     After our pleasant afternoon, we stopped at PetSmart to get some dog food then Publix for a few groceries.  Paul filled up the truck and I bought lottery tickets hoping to hit the more than $800 million jackpot.  

2021 Jan 16-18 (Sat, Sun, Mon) – We stayed in the campground.  This was a holiday weekend and we were staying away from the crowds.  The folks with the chicken on a leash left today. I wanted to get a picture of it but I missed out.  Oh, well. The weather has been cool; lows in the 40s and highs in the 60s.  Hopefully, it will be warmer down in the Keys.

2021 Jan 15 (Fri) – We drove to Palm Beach today.  Palm Beach was named for the coconut groves that were once common along Lake Worth.  The only remaining coconut grove in Palm Beach is on the Flagler estate.

     First stop was at the Henry Morrison Flagler Museum.  What an amazing place!  Another example of the opulence of the nouveau rich of the 1800s.  Flagler’s family immigrated from Germany to New York. Flagler left home at 14 to look for his fortune.  He found it when he joined up with John D. Rockefeller and Samuel Andrews to form Standard Oil Co.  He made millions (billions in today’s money).  In 1902, he built Whitehall as a winter retreat and visited there for 12 years until he died.  His wife died 4 years later and left their estate to a niece.  She then turned it over to private investors when it became too expensive to keep and they turned the mansion into a grand hotel.  In 1959, the investors had gone broke and the building was going to be torn down.  A great granddaughter bought the property and turned it into a museum in 1960.

     There were more than 75 rooms in the home.  Much of the original furniture, as well as furniture from the period, are in the rooms.  Each room is grander than the next.  It was amazing!  In the back of the home was another building housing Flagler’s personal rail car.  He built a rail line that connected Jacksonville to the Keys.  Flagler is credited with building up Florida and making it a major attraction for tourism and agriculture.

     Across the water behind the estate was a marina that housed several yachts. One of them was a small ocean liner with beautiful lines.  Ah, what the money people spend their dollars on.

     After the museum, we drove into town and had lunch at Almond.  It turned out they also have a restaurant in Manhattan and Bridgehampton back in New York.  We sat on the patio and watched all the rich cars drive by.  I’ve never seen so many high end vehicles – Tesla, Mercedes, Bentley, Ducati, etc. – in one place.  Parking is restricted to two hours and while we were eating, two of the wait staff ran out to move their cars so they wouldn’t be ticketed.  Our lunch was excellent but we paid for it.  It was almost $100 (tip included).  Whew!

     Next was a drive around town.  We wound up on Ocean Drive and drove past Mar-a-lago, President Trump’s Florida home.  It’s a strange arrangement.  The road cuts through the middle of the estate with the club on one side and the pool on the other side next to the ocean.  There was a very large American flag standing on the lawn in front of the club. We couldn’t see the entire building as there was a 6’ hedge in front of the place.  Most of them have 15-20 foot high hedges in front of their properties. I guess that’s more attractive than fences and certainly more private.  Each home we drove past was more opulent than the next.  This is definitely the place to come if you want to ogle the rich and famous.  

     When we got back to the campground, we could see that most campsites have been filled up.  It’s the weekend.  The folks next to us have a chicken.  They tie a rope to its foot and the rooster just hangs around.  He likes to be high so they put him on the handlebars of their bicycle or up on a 6’ ladder.   I’ve seen some crazy things during our travels but a chicken on a leash is a new one for me.  Lol.

 2021 Jan 14 (Thu) – We stayed in the campground all day.  I did work on the Nomads newsletter as well as the New York Caravan.  Paul worked on finding us campgrounds to stay in.  After he found a site in Tampa, I called Southwest and made a reservation to fly to New York next month.

 2021 Jan 13 (Wed) – We asked the office to move to a site further away from the road.  It must be a main truck route as it was noisy all night long.  We got moved from 85 to 151.  It’s marked as a handicapped site but the picnic table is located on the wrong side of the rig.  Regardless, it is much quieter over here.

     After our move, we drove into town to get propane and fuel.  We drove through Clewiston and stopped at the Chamber of Commerce & Museum.  It was small and not well laid out.  The CoC offers a Sugarland Tour which we very much wanted to take.  It is four hours learning about all the sugar cane farms in the area.  Unfortunately, tours are suspended until September because of the coronavirus.

     We drove through South Bay.  There were many slum areas, dilapidated houses, and closed stores. This town is suffering greatly. Trip Advisor listed only one restaurant in the entire town – Subway.

 2021 Jan 12 (Tue) – We packed up and left Cocoa at 9:50 a.m. and arrived at the South Bay RV Campground at 1:30 p.m.  We ran into traffic going through the Palm Beach area.  The campground is owned by the county.  It is neat, clean, and well laid out. Unfortunately, it is right by a major truck route and quite noisy.  We only got a 30-amp site while there are 50-amp sites open.  The campground is about 90% full.  It sits at the base of a levee.  There is a lake and creek on the property with signs warning of alligators. Check-in was online as they are keeping everything contactless.  There is nothing to do in South Bay.  This is the kind of campground you come to when you want to get away from it all.

 2021 Jan 11 (Mon) – We went to the Brevard Zoo today.  Paul thought it was very nice.  Not too big and all the animals were out and visible. We had to make a reservation online as they are limiting the number of people in the zoo at any one time.  There were lots of animals from Australia and Africa. It was about a two hour tour.

     We stopped at the Melbourne Seafood Grill for lunch.  I had a crab cake and Paul enjoyed clams.  Then we got some fuel in preparation for tomorrow’s move. When we got back to the campground, we did some wash.  Sheba brought some hairballs last night while laying on our bed so we had to wash the sheets and bedspread.  It’s time to take the flannel sheets off the bed anyway.  We are headed into southern Florida where the weather is sure to be warmer (we sure hope so!).

 2021 Jan 10 (Sun) – We did laundry today.  It seemed like Sunday was wash day for a lot of people in the campground and we got the last two machines.

     We met George & Linda at El Leoncita for dinner.  The food, margaritas, and company were all good.

 2021 Jan 9 (Sat) – We drove back to Merritt Island and picked up Denise with her dog, Levi, then drove to Cocoa to George & Linda’s. George made dough balls to go fishing with his grandson, Ryan.  Their son, Neil, came over and we all went down to the lake.  Ryan, Neil, George, and Paul fished while Linda, Denise, and I went for a drive around the neighborhood.  It was cool with a brisk breeze blowing.

     No fish caught, we returned to the house and George grilled up some burgers and hot dogs.  After visiting, we returned to Merritt Island to drop off Denise, then back to the campground.  Sheba ran out of the door when we got back at 8 p.m. and it took a bit of effort to get her back inside because it was dark and we couldn’t see.

2021 Jan 8 (Fri) – We went out to pick up food for Bonnie.  The vet recommended that we only give her one protein source.  Rather than mixing up beef and chicken, we should only feed her chicken.  We also have to make sure her dry food is chicken as well as her treats.

      Next door was a WalMart.  We ran in to pick up a few things.  While at George & Linda’s the other day, I noted she was cooking with a Blue Diamond pan.  We got to talking about different kinds of pans.  I have been thinking about getting rid of my Teflon pans for a while.  So while we were at WalMart today, I picked up 3 new fry pans and a Dutch oven.  I also picked up a roasting pan and a small baking pan with rack.   After we came home, I spent time rearranging the cabinet and getting rid of the old pots and pans in favor of the new ones.

     The day was very windy today.  Sheba didn’t spend more than a few minutes outside before looking to come back in.  It was just too breezy.  She sure loves her new toy.  

 2021 Jan 7 (Thu) – We stayed around the campground for the day. Paul ran out briefly to pick up some hardware to fix the silverware drawer.  It was not working smoothly and he had to replace the hardware slide. The drawer works very nicely now.

     At 8:30 p.m., we went out to watch the Space-X launch.  It was delayed for a little bit but the rocket finally took off at 9:15 p.m.  It was so quiet but very bright.  The launch was successful and they were able to capture the booster rocket.

 2021 Jan 6 (Wed) – We went over to George & Linda’s for dinner tonight.  They grilled chicken and Brussel sprouts.  We enjoyed the food with margaritas.

     I pulled out the NY Caravan file today to see what actions I have to take. I contacted one campground to confirm our arrival.  After some discussion, the owner decided that they could not support our caravan.  We have too many large rigs.  It was with some disappointment I found another campground. The next one is $11 more per night. That will certainly put a dent in our budget.

 2021 Jan 5 (Tue) – We packed up and left KARS RV Park at 10:30 a.m. Since the drive was only 27 miles, we waited until near checkout time before leaving.  We had to stop and dump the tanks first.  It was a good day to leave as a bunch of Fish & Wildlife trucks pulled up in the field across from us this morning.  It looked like a manhunt was underway.  I called the office only to find out they are doing a controlled burn around the property today.

     It was 50 minutes to Patrick Space Force Base in Cocoa.  We checked in with the camp host.  She said we were lucky.  That someone just left a very nice spot (they have a first-come, first served policy for campsites).  The site looks out at the river without a camper in front of our site. It’s OK.  The camp host told us this is a historic stay.  They just changed the name from Patrick Air Force Base to Patrick Space Force Base last month.  It’s a nice campground but a little tight.  We have full hookups with 50 amp service.  

     We went out for dinner to Grill’s Seafood Restaurant.  It was right on the water and we sat out on the deck. It was enclosed in glass so it felt like the inside but with all the view of the outside.

2021 Jan 4 (Mon) – We took Bonnie to the vet this morning.  We might have inadvertently solved the problem on our own though.  Bonnie has been doing a lot of barking and appeared to be very hungry.  She has been suffering urine infections off and on for two years now.  She’s been through a variety of antibiotics but the UTI always returned.  We remembered a friend who used the same pro-digest we give Bonnie.  She said she stopped giving it to her dogs because they had renal issues.  We stopped giving all extra stuff to Bonnie – the pro-digest, multivitamin, glucosamine, and fish oil.  We’ve just been giving her the liver medicine and regular food.  She’s also been getting lots of extra treats. Interestingly, Bonnie has calmed down. She’s not doing the excessive barking or restless moving around.  Maybe the antibiotic she was on and the pro-digest disagreed with each other.

     At any rate, the vet’s office only allowed one of us in so Paul sat out in the car.  After hearing of Bonnie’s story, the vet recommended that we give her only one protein source.  We feed her Hill’s Science Diet (approved by the vet association) but mix it up between beef and chicken.  The vet said that a dog’s system has to do a reset every time the protein source changes. Her long standing issue with diarrhea could be related to the changes in protein.  She suggested we give her only one protein for three weeks and see how her system reacts.

     The vet took some blood and found that Bonnie’s thyroid level is low. So now she is on a thyroid medication. She needs to go back for a recheck in two weeks.  We’ll see about that.

     When we got back to the campground, we did the laundry.  There were two washers and two dryers in the laundry building when I looked in last week.  Today, there was only one washing machine.  We only did the whites.

     A Falcon 9 Space-X launch was planned to take place between 8:30 and 12:30 tonight.  We rode down to the waterfront, set out our chairs, and waited to see the launch. The sky was clear and the stars were so bright with no moon to fade out the stars.  It was so cold; in the 40s.  We waited 20 minutes, trying to find out online if the launch was going to be live streamed.  People finally started posting on Facebook that the launch was rescheduled for January 7. That was disappointing.  We are in such a perfect place to watch a launch, right across the river from the NASA launch site.

 2021 Jan 3 (Sun) – We drove over George & Linda’s this morning. She made hash with the leftover corn beef.  That and eggs with toast was scrumptious.  The mimosas were a nice touch.  Denise (George’s sister) and her little dog, Levi, joined us.  After our meal, we sat out on the patio around their fire pit and had a nice visit.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped for lunch at Kelsey’s Pizzeria.  We’ve seen a number of them around and wanted to try them.  We couldn’t eat in their store.  They instructed us to go next door to Harry & Jack’s, a bar and grill. They had indoor and outdoor seating. None of the wait staff wore masks. There were 3 tables occupied near us when we sat next to the bar.  The first group left and the waitress haphazardly wiped the table but didn’t touch the seats.  The other two tables vacated and neither of them was wiped down at all.  We got our pizza.  It wasn’t New York.

     After lunch, I stopped in at Supercuts next door and got my hair cut. The woman did a terrible job.  The good thing about it is that my hair will grow back in.  

 2021 Jan 2 (Sat) – Another day in the campground.  The weather has turned cold.   We went over George & Linda’s for dinner.  She made reubens with corned beef and sauerkraut on rye bread.  It was so good.  We are invited over for breakfast tomorrow where Linda will make corned beef hash with the leftovers.  After dinner, we watched a movie with Liam Neeson.  It was awful.  It certainly wasn’t his usual genre as a kick-ass fighter.  I think the name of the movie was “The Other Man.”  Don’t watch it!

 2021 Jan 1 (Fri-New Year’s Day) -  We stayed in the campground all day.   Our church had a Zoom meeting at 1 p.m.  We would normally have a potluck meal on New Year’s Day but no one’s getting together in groups this year.  There were about 20 of us online.  It was confusing to me with everyone talking over each other.  But it was good to see all our friends.  The call lasted about an hour.

2020 Dec 31 (Thu-New Year’s Eve) – We met George & Linda at the pier by Doc’s Bait House near their old condo.  We were going for a boat ride on the Banana River and lunch down river.  Unfortunately, as soon as we got past the bridge, the wind was whipping up the water and waves were splashing over the boat, getting us all wet.  It was too rough to go boating so we returned to the dock and pulled the boat out of the water then followed George back to his shop. We met their dog and checked out their new Renegade Class C RV.  They bought it in July and it still smells new.  After putting away the boat, we went to Fishlips for lunch down by Port Canaveral.  The meal was good but pretty expensive.

     After lunch, Paul and I drove to Patrick Air Force base to check out the campground.  Most of the gates into the base are closed and you have to drive a couple of miles around the runway to get to the campground.  They are also pretty full but there are still a few empty spaces. We will look to move there next week.

     We returned to the campground and spent a quiet night watching TV.  We turned in at 9 p.m.  How’s that for celebrating the new year?  I think we are officially “old fogies.”

 2020 Dec 30 (Wed) – We ran some errands today – picked up groceries and got some propane.  George & Linda drove over to the campground and we chatted for about an hour then drove to Denise’s house.  We picked her up and drove to Carrabba’s for an early dinner.  We all sat out on the patio and enjoyed margaritas and a good meal.

 2020 Dec 29 (Tue) – We packed up and left Mayport Naval Station at 9:30 a.m.  It was 160 miles south to Merritt Island where we are camped at the NASA owned property KARS RV Park.  We have been here twice before.  It is pretty full now; almost every campsite is occupied.  We have a site way in back behind the storage area nowhere near the water. They continue to improve the campground.

2020 Dec 28 (Mon) – We drove into St. Augustine for lunch. Our meal was at the Florida Cracker in the old historic town.  St. Augustine was settled in 1565 and is said to be the oldest city in the United States. It has been under six flags over the years – Spain, Italy, France, England, Colonial America, and the U.S. (I think).  It is an interesting tour.  There were many people out and about, too many without masks.  Traffic coming into town was all backed up.  We walked around for a while then left.  We stopped at the post office on the way back to mail off a package and got fuel for tomorrow’s move.

 2020 Dec 27 (Sun) – We dialed into the virtual service at our church this morning.  It appears that the minister contracted the coronavirus and was quarantined for two weeks. That must be why they stopped having in-person services last week.

     We took down our Christmas decorations today.  I thought we were leaving tomorrow, Monday, but we are leaving on December 29.  That’s actually on Tuesday.

 2020 Dec 26 (Sat) – We drove into town and had lunch at North Beach Fish Camp.  It was a seafood place.  I had a cod dish and Paul enjoyed crab claws.  On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Publix to pick up a few groceries.

     The weather is pretty cold today.  The temperatures have dropped into the thirties and there is a freeze warning for the area tonight.  We’ll have to remember to disconnect the hose before going to bed.  At least the wind has died down.

     The vet called to say that Bonnie’s urine sample had come back normal.  The antibiotic has done its job.

2020 Dec 25 (Fri – Christmas Day) – It was very cold this morning but warmed quickly to the 50s.  The wind was blowing strongly.  Last night’s storm left many homes without electric and the news showed streets and homes where trees fell onto them.  It was a very destructive storm.

     We went to the Oasis Galley on base at 3 p.m. for a holiday meal.  It was supposed to be $9.20 per person but the guy just waved us through when we arrived.  I don’t know if it was because he was having problems with the register or that it was almost time to close the mess hall (dinner was being served from 1 to 4 p.m.  At any rate, we got a great meal for free.  There was salad, shrimp cocktail, turkey, dressing, steak, mac & cheese, cranberry sauce, corn, kale, green beans, biscuits, eggnog, coffee, tea, and a variety of pies.  We brought our pumpkin pie back to the trailer and had it later with coffee.  

 2020 Dec 24 (Thu) – We dropped a urine sample from Bonnie off at the vet’s office this morning.  Then we went to breakfast at Another Broken Egg.  They have such good and unusual selections.  We both enjoyed our meal very much.  We sat out on the patio with a lot of other people.  

      After breakfast (more like brunch), we drove to General RV to pick up our new loungers.  The shipment never came in so we bought the floor sample.  The saleslady we dealt with was out today.  The person we dealt with today must have thought we were really stupid.  She said they never had new furniture to order and we were always going to get the floor sample.  Then she said the saleslady we first dealt with (Brandi) tried to order it but it wasn’t available.  I then asked for a discount on the cost of the furniture since we had to take used furniture rather than get it new.  She tried to tell us that the sample was only on the floor for 4 days.  We sat in it over a week ago so that wasn’t true. Brandi had told us it was out for several weeks.  In addition, the floor sample was still sitting on the floor.  It was not sanitized and packed up for us.  The woman tried to mumble that she couldn’t have sanitized it earlier because people would have still sat on it.  Paul told her no one could sit on it if it was disassembled and she tried to tell him they would have.  It was one of the most aggravating hours we have ever spent. The woman was either incompetent or an out-and-out liar.  At any rate, we waited while they sanitized and took the furniture apart (2 chairs with a center console).  She refused to give us any plastic to wrap up the furniture so it wouldn’t get dirty in back of the truck.  We did get a refund of almost $200.

                                               the old furniture

                                                   the new furniture

      Paul then drove into downtown Jacksonville.  Since it was Christmas eve, he figured a lot of the stores and offices would be closed.  He was right. It reminded me of when we went to Phoenix and arrived on a weekend.  It was like a ghost town.  We stopped at the St. Johns River Riverwalk and strolled along the waterfront.  There were a few people out but not many.

      The day started out very nice but turned nasty late in the afternoon.  Severe thunderstorms rolled through and there were warnings of tornadoes in the county.  The temperatures dropped drastically and the prediction was for iguanas falling out of trees tomorrow (lol. Temps are supposed to be freezing)

 2020 Dec 23 (Wed) – We did some laundry today.  Since the machines are free, we are taking advantage of the benefit.  Someone got annoyed we weren’t right there when our wash finished and they took our laundry out.  They put it on top of the dryers.  We put our stuff in the dryers and made sure to come back before it was done.

     We went out for lunch at Cracker Barrel today.  The food was good and they were doing a brisk business.  It’s hard to believe there’s a pandemic out there. After lunch, we stopped at a liquor store to pick up some Bailey’s Irish Cream.  It’s for Christmas day.

 2020 Dec 22 (Tue) – The day was cold and blustery.  We stayed in all day.

 2020 Dec 21 (Mon) – We ran some errands today.  Went food shopping at WalMart, picked up dog food at PetCo, got some fuel at a very sloooooooow pump (took a half hour to fill the gas tank), and dropped off an envelope at the post office.

     At sunset, we drove over to the southeast side of the base to see the Christmas Star.  Not since 1600 (400 years ago) has Saturn and Jupiter been aligned next to each other. They are so close that they look like a big star in the sky.  This great conjunction is referred to as the Christmas Star.  I think it’s because it’s happening during Christmas week.  We saw nothing.  Maybe it was hidden behind some low clouds on the horizon.  We’ll try again tomorrow night.

     I volunteered to put together a cookbook for SMART as a fundraiser. Paul was looking through our church cookbook one day and brought up the suggestion that we should do it for our travel club.  I pitched the suggestion, went through lots of questions and hesitations, and finally got the go ahead today.  Hope I don’t regret the offer.

2020 Dec 19&20 (Sat & Sun) – We stayed in the campground this weekend.  We dialed into the church for a virtual service on Sunday morning.  We had some initial trouble getting the live broadcast but it turned out to be a problem at their end, not ours.

 2020 Dec 18 (Fri) – We ran out to get propane this morning. The weather has been cold (it was 37 degrees this morning) and the heat has been running almost constantly.  We ran out of propane two nights ago (luckily, we have a second tank to switch to when one goes empty).  The place we first stopped at was out of order and we struggled to find another place.  The refill was finally achieved.

     Karen called today.  She is a travel agent and we are working with to arrange a cruise to Australia in 2022. We have tentatively decided on a Holland America 15-day cruise to Australia/New Zealand in January 2022. We also spoke with her about arranging a campervan trip around Australia following the cruise.  We plan to take two months to travel around Australia after the cruise.  She’s looking into it.

     We returned to the campground and hunkered down for the day. I sure hope it gets warmer soon. This is Florida!!!!

 2020 Dec 17 (Thu) – We drove into St. Augustine this afternoon. It took us over a half hour to find a parking space.  We finally wound up parking in a church parking lot for $10.  Then we walked into town and came upon the Lightner Museum. It is in the former Alcazar Hotel which was built from Henry Flagler in 1888.  One half of the 5-story building houses government offices and the other half features the museum collection.  The building was stunning and the hotel must have been amazing! The collections were from the 1800 and 1900s.  There were pottery, crystal, and glass artifacts; furniture; paintings; sculptures; and more.  A stuffed lion was on display that was a gift to Winston Churchill.  The lion was placed in the London Zoo and sired over 40 cubs before being stuffed.  I don’t know how it wound up in a museum in Florida.

     At 5 p.m. we went to dinner at Harry’s Seafood Grill.  It was a New Orleans style restaurant.  The waiter was very animated and made the meal enjoyable. He said he was originally from Queens and worked in Melville.  I had rice and beans with sausage and Paul had a scampi dish.

     We walked down to the marina and took the Night of Lights boat tour. It was a boring ride back and forth in front of lighted store fronts in the freezing cold.  The captain was absolutely silent.  Most tours of this kind would have had a dialogue about the area. He should have described some of the landmarks or talked about the history of the marina or told the story about St. Augustine.  Aside from his mandatory safety briefing (which was 75% unintelligible), he said nothing during the entire ride.  We were supposed to get complimentary coffee or tea but they didn’t have that either. We didn’t think the boat tour was worth the expense.

 2020 Dec 16 (Wed) – It rained for most of the day today.  It was cool and miserable.  I called the office today and was able to extend here at Mayport for another 3 nights until January 1st.  Hopefully, that will be all we need to take care of Bonnie’s issue.

2020 Dec 15 (Tue) – We went food shopping at Winn Dixie to get groceries for the week.  Then we went to Bono’s Pit BBQ.  We bought a rack of ribs and brought it back for dinner.  Yesterday and today have been blustery and the temperatures have been in the low 50s in the morning.  The wind was blowing so hard today that you had to be sure to hold the door when you got out of the car or the RV.  There were white caps and big splashing waves out in the river.  We swear that the winds were gusting to 50 mph.

 2020 Dec 14 (Mon) – We went furniture shopping today.  After wandering through several stores, we finally arrived at General RV and paid for two lounge chairs.  The clerk said she thought she could get it in by Friday, Monday at the latest.  If it doesn’t come in, then they will give us the floor sample.  We have to call on Friday so they’ll have time to sanitize the floor sample if it doesn’t look like the new chairs will come in on time.

     After paying for the chairs, we stopped at Taco Bell for lunch. Yuck!  They no longer have the taco salad.  Now it’s bowls.  I got a chicken quesadilla and Paul got chalupas.  My meal was very skimpy and too spicy.  I won’t get that again!

     The vet called to say that Bonnie has a bacterial infection and needs to go on antibiotics.  We turned around and drove to his office to get the medication.  After ten days, we have to give another urine sample.  The time period will be close to when we are scheduled to leave.  Since we don’t have a reservation for the next campground, I called the office at Mayport to see if we could extend for a few days.  The clerk said they have no vacancies.  We have to call back every day to check on availability.  Ugh.

 2020 Dec 13 (Sun) – We went to lunch at Seaglass, a restaurant on base.  We were the only two diners in the place.  It looks like it would be really nice on a Friday night with folks gathered around the bar and socializing.  That won’t happen for a while, if ever again.  I had avocado toast and Paul had chorizo hash.  It was good.  We returned to the campground and let the animals play outside.  Sheba is fascinated with the geckos crawling on the palm trees.

 2020 Dec 12 (Sat) – The day was rainy and overcast.  We just hung around the campground all day.

 2020 Dec 11 (Fri) – We went out for lunch today at Colhane’s Irish Pub.  The food was very good.  I had my usual – shepherd pie and Paul enjoyed potato soup and a salad.  He’s down to 208 lbs.  His goal is in sight and he’s very focused.  We came back and let the fur babies have time outside.

     The vet called today.  Aside from slightly elevated liver enzymes, he really doesn’t see anything in Bonnie’s bloodwork to indicate a problem.  He is going to do a culture on the urine sample we left.  He’ll call back in a couple of days.

 2020 Dec 10 (Thu) – Paul offered to take me out for breakfast this morning.  That’s very funny since he lost his credit card and we had to invalidate it.  Now, I’m the only one with a credit card. After the breakfast that he treated me to (that I paid for), we went to Winn Dixie for groceries (I splurged on a lottery ticket), then to PetCo for dog food, and last to the post office to mail off a letter.

     On the way back, we drove into the Village of Mayport.  It is a small fishing village with a ferry port.  There weren’t many businesses at all.  When we got back on base, we drove around the docks looking at all the big Navy ships.  There were about a dozen ships tied up to the piers.

     We took Bonnie to the vet this afternoon. In the last two or three months, she has started this kind of barking routine.  She gives a bark, waits about ten seconds, then barks again.  She keeps this up until we are moved to do something. It’s either feed her, walk her, or pet her.  She goes out for a walk about every 1-1/2 to 2 hours and has a bowel movement almost time. That’s many more than she used to have (which was two – one following breakfast and one following dinner).  The doc took blood and promised to call us tomorrow.

2020 Dec 9 (Wed) – We stayed in today and spent the time putting up and decorating our Christmas tree.  The season is here!

 2020 Dec 8 (Tue) – We went to the post office to mail off the claim form to New York.  It will be interesting to see how much is due to my mother (who passed away in 2009). My sister, Susan, had filled out a claim in 2010 for money due to my mother.  The five of us each wound up getting $20 (she was due $100).  This time around will probably be $2.50 each. Mom didn’t have much to her name when she died.  I can’t imagine what this money is from.

     We stopped for lunch at the Hangar Bay Café.  It was a small place run by an African American retired Navy guy with an Asian wife.  The menu had a lot of ramen on it.  Paul got pork ramen and I ordered fried chicken.  The food was good.  The gentleman didn’t want to talk about his service.  Even though there was an 11x13 picture of him in dress uniform on the wall, he kept avoiding my questions about his time in the Navy.

     The commissary and PX are both off-post.  We stopped in there to get a few things.  You have to show ID at the register at the commissary and at the entrance at the PX to ensure you are military.  When we got back to the base, we drove around the housing area.  There is a second campground (called Osprey Cove) on base.  It is not on the water but cloistered among spreading trees with lots of Spanish moss. It is very lovely and intended for long-term stays.

 2020 Dec 7 (Mon) – We packed up and left Kings Bay Subbase at 11 a.m. It was much later than we normally move out but the drive was only an hour to the next campground.  We ran out to the post office before we left so I could mail another registered letter to a lawyer used to sell Travis & Sam’s house. We’ve had serious issues with him and have had to make a formal complaint to the Judicial Review Board.

     We arrived at Mayport Naval Station, Pelican Roost RV Park a little after noon.  They gave us the option of choosing one of several sites.  We elected to take a space at the end of the aisle on a curve. We can get a somewhat obscure look at the ocean.  We stayed here last December.  The ships sail right past the campground on their way out of and into the port.  They blow their horns to say hello and goodbye.

     We went out to the bank to get a paper notarized. I was cruising around the internet and put in Unclaimed Funds in New York State.  Surprise, surprise!  My mother’s name came up.  The website doesn’t tell how much is owed, just there is some money due.  I printed out the form and filled in the required information.  I will mail it out tomorrow.