#and the endless flow of the universe
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thekitsandthekats · 6 months ago
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sorry everyone its almost midnight and im in my hotchreid feels right now. like they are so so good together, i love them as a couple so much my heart is bursting!! like aaron hotchner, cold, clinical, forever serious leader meets spencer reid boy wonder who loves magic and science and all things everywhere!! aaron who loved collecting coins as a kid and spencer who has read every book. aaron who crack dry jokes with a straight face and spencer who giggles through his delivery. aaron who can be a little flirty and a little cheeky, and spencer whose sass knows no bounds, who stares authority in the eye and doesn't flinch. aaron who lives for his job and his son, and spencer who finds incredible purpose in his work. aaron whose heart bleeds and bleeds and spencer who would raze the world for those he cares for can you hear me when i say that they are so so good together im losing it. two men with hearts of gold weighted by their sense of duty, two men who have suffered unimaginable things and come out the other side, two men who find solace in each other, in the quiet ways they exist, floating and spinning and dancing, two men who debate classic narcissism and know the bible intimately for potentially vastly different reasons, two men who understand each other, two men tethered to the fbi in ways that become both a lifeline and a drain, two men who don't care how much the job takes so long as they save one life listen to me when i say that aaron and spencer are magic together.
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raspberryjellybrains · 2 years ago
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yknow I've been thinking about what dream looks for in friends and lovers and I've noticed that it's not necessarily people that are mean to him, but people that are direct. dream himself deals in metaphor and manipulation, it's simply what he is, so just about everything within his realm that he's encountering consistently will be such that as well. considering both his own tendencies, the environment it breeds, and his whole Thing about guilt and choice, it makes sense he would choose people who are clear and honest with him. he wants someone who will tell him how it is, but not what to do with that—even when it's not really what he wants, dream knows it's what he can need. I think that's why figures like lucienne, matthew, death, and yes, mervyn can be important! on some level, dream knows he's convoluted and shifty by nature, and he's tried to combat that with concise words and mind-melting beauracracy, but it can't fix everything. he likes people to keep him in check and I think that is the most self-awareness he has ever been capable of. so... clap? no? idk. nod acknowledgingly.
#it is also that he is autistic#i dont make the rules. its just true.#also didnt mention for sentence flow but this is 100% why i think he REALLY hates desire#theyre the only manipulator in the universe better at manipulating than him. and uses these abilities to fuck him over.#they know how to blend direct observation with subtly implied direction to get him to do what they want whilst thinking hes not#dream knows this and he HATES it. because thats like. his every fear confirmed. in someone who is supposed to care for him.#and desire simply sees this as an extension of their function and good fun besides without understanding how deeply this messes dream up#with the guilt and choice thing: dream wants someone clear to blame and he would prefer it not be himself#so he wants to be given the option to be left with no choice so he can escape all personal responsibility as disguising it for himself as a#personal attack. the problem is that this is an inherently selfish thing to do and his perception of reality is so warped by ass kissing and#paranoia (great combo) that he ALSO cant tell whats a personal attack.#see: nada rejecting him and dream damning her to hell for 10000 years.#that also hit some other stuff he lacks the emotional wisdom to grasp#but like. why else would mervyn exist. genuienly#mervyn knows hes made by an uncaring god for menial and unnecessary work. everyone else knows hes full of shit and kinda right.#if dream didnt like what purpose he served on some level he would just remake or unmake mervyn all together. but he doesnt.#mervyn is like a chainsmoking barometer of public opinion#like boyboss good for him but thats it#anyway#dream of the endless#the sandman#raspberry rambles
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912z · 9 months ago
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fiona apple across the universe
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me listening to across the universe (1969) (naked version) by the beatles
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sugarplumfairy777 · 5 months ago
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🧁⊹ ࣪ ˖🍦₊˚⊹♡🍰#iamgodduh
I Am God. It’s time to wake up and realize who you really are. You are God. There’s no more pretending, no more looking outside yourself for answers. You hold the power, you create your reality, and nothing, not a single thing can stand in your way once you fully embrace this truth. The universe doesn’t control you, it responds to you. You are the one who sets the tone. You are the force that shapes the world around you. Stop giving away your power. You are not a victim of your circumstances. You are not waiting for permission from anyone, or some higher being, or a series of events. You are it. You have always been the one in charge. Every desire you have, every dream you want to chase—those things are already yours. They exist because you decided they would. And the moment you choose to own that power, everything shifts. Manifestation isn’t some mystical, out-of-reach thing. It’s you remembering that you have the ability to pull anything into existence. Want something? It’s already done. The moment you believe that, the moment you stop doubting your own divinity, the world around you has no choice but to reflect it. You are the creator, the architect, the god of your own universe. When you own that, everything starts to move in your favor. It’s time to stop questioning. Stop waiting for signs. You are the sign. You are the one who creates. You are the one who bends reality. The universe doesn’t work on its own schedule, it moves when you move. It shifts when you make the decision that you’ve had enough of waiting for things to happen. It’s time to create what you want. Right now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now. You are powerful beyond measure. Your mind is the tool that shapes everything. Your energy is the force that calls in everything you’ve ever wanted. And let me tell you something: no one, and I mean NO ONE, can take that from you. You are the divine in human form. There is no higher power. There is only you; god.
Pure consciousness is your natural state. It’s not something you have to work toward or search for. It’s not some far-off destination you’re trying to reach. It’s already inside of you, your god. It’s who you are, right here, right now. The moment you stop identifying with the noise of the world, the distractions, and the endless chatter in your mind, you begin to realize the power that resides within you. Pure consciousness is the space where you are everything and nothing at once. It’s where you drop all the layers that you’ve built around yourself your fears, your doubts, your limiting beliefs and you realize you are the observer of all things. You are the creator, the energy, the force behind every single moment. Inducing pure consciousness isn’t a hard task, but it requires trust. You have to trust in the fact that you are already whole. That you are already powerful. That you don’t need to “do” anything to be worthy of what you want. You don’t need to beg for life to give you what you deserve. You already are the life you want. The more you realize that, the more everything around you begins to reflect it. Your thoughts become clear, your desires become obvious, and your reality shifts effortlessly into alignment with who you truly are. In pure consciousness, there is no need to chase. There is no need for constant action or striving. It’s not about forcing things to happen; it’s about realizing that everything you want is already happening. Your power is in your awareness. The more you become conscious of the fact that you are the creator of your reality, the more everything begins to flow. You align with your desires simply by knowing you are them. Pure consciousness is where you transcend the idea of separation. There is no “outside world” when you’re in it. There’s only you, the infinite, boundless energy that flows through all things. You stop feeling like you’re chasing something because you already are everything you want. You don’t need to force anything. You don’t need to try to become something more. You already are that power. You are the energy that creates worlds. Your mind is the tool that shapes your reality. When you are in pure consciousness, you are in complete alignment with the universe, and everything you desire is already on its way to you. This is not some abstract idea. This is the truth of who you are. Own it. Realize that you are the one who creates. The universe is simply a reflection of your consciousness. There is no higher power outside of you, there is only you. You are the force that shapes reality. When you embody this truth, everything becomes possible. Nothing is out of reach because you are the one reaching. Stop waiting for things to fall into place. Stop looking for external signs. You are the sign. You are the creator of your world. You are infinite. You are everything. You are home. You are “I am”.
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mercifulstate · 2 months ago
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⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ EVERY METHOD WORKS BECAUSE YOU DECIDE IT DOES!
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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎You ever just sit there spiraling like, "Which method works best? Which one is the secret formula? Which one is actually gonna flip my life upside down the fastest?" Be serious. The method? Girl, irrelevant. It’s YOU. It’s always been you.
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Law of Assumption? Works. Law of Attraction? Works. The Void, pure consciousness, I AM state? Yeah, that too. Reality shifting? Absolutely. Subliminals? Of course. Journaling, affirming, visualizing, scripting, even just aggressively daydreaming and living in the end while staring out the window like a misunderstood main character? It all works because YOU DECIDE IT DOES!
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Every method you ever doubted, every technique you put on a pedestal like it was some mystical sacred artifact, works because you decide it does. You are not chasing some magical ritual. YOU are the magic. YOU are the beginning, the middle, and the end of everything you experience. Honestly though? The methods are cute. Imagine as if they’re accessories to your power. You could literally sit in a bathtub eating cereal and manifest your dream life if you wanted to LMAO. You could blink twice and decide you shifted into a whole new timeline. You could do absolutely nothing but breathe and it would still happen, because it was never about the method—it was about you the whole time.
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎You are the writer, director, lead actor, and executive producer of your reality. The methods are props on YOUR set. They’re helpful if you want them to be, but you could burn the whole script and improvise and the universe (or your subconscious...) would still follow your lead. YOU set the rules. YOU are the engine behind every manifestation, every shift, every quantum leap. It's not about "finding the best way." It's about realizing that you already are the way.
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎When you finally stop giving your power away to techniques and start owning it, everything clicks. Everything flows. Life stops being this endless game of "Am I doing it right?" and becomes this effortless 'Of course it’s happening. It’s already mine.'
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎It’s never been about the "how." It's always been about the "who." And the "who" has been you, every second, every breath, every blink. YOU are the constant. YOU are the key. YOU are the entire blueprint!
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norristrii · 2 months ago
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PAWS ON THE BEACH.
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It started as usual beach walk with your dog Coco, but when she starts playing with other dog on the beach, his owner really catches your eye.
pairing. Charles Leclerc x fem! reader
warnings. none
babs’ notes. cooking so close to chapter 2 rn, probably posting tomorrow or on this weekend
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COCO WAS A FORCE OF NATURE. As a golden retriever puppy, she was equal parts adorable and chaos incarnate—a fluffy whirlwind of energy that left a trail of shredded napkins, chewed shoes, and overturned cushions in her wake. You loved her fiercely, though. She was a menace, sure, but she was your menace. It didn’t take long for you to realize she was you in dog form—spirited, mischievous, and entirely unapologetic.
Still, amidst all the chaos, Coco had a way of grounding you, reminding you to find joy in the small things. Your favorite moments were the ones like now—walks with her on the beach, bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun. The sky stretched wide above you, painted in hues of amber, pink, and deep orange, as if the universe itself were creating a masterpiece just for this moment.
You eased yourself onto the cool, grainy sand, the gentle pressure grounding you as you stretched your legs out in front of you. The horizon was painted in soft hues, a blend of muted pinks, oranges, and the faintest trace of purple—colors fading into the endless blue of the ocean. The waves rolled forward and retreated with a rhythmic crash, their sound soothing and steady, like the heartbeat of the shore. There was peace here, a quiet stillness that wrapped around you, but never felt lonely.
Coco tugged on her leash, pulling it to its limit as she darted back and forth, a blur of energy against the serene backdrop. She was relentless, her paws digging furiously into the sand as if determined to uncover some hidden treasure buried just beneath the surface. You chuckled softly as her nose pressed deep into the earth, grains of sand flying everywhere, coating her golden fur in speckles of mischief.
The seagulls perched nearby didn’t stand a chance against Coco’s enthusiastic antics. She chased them, barking excitedly as they took to the air, squawking in alarm and flapping their wings frantically to escape. They circled overhead, momentarily regrouping before descending further down the beach, only to be pursued again moments later. Her joy was boundless, contagious even, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched her.
The beach itself was quiet, untouched by the crowds that sometimes came and went during the day. Now it felt like it belonged solely to you and Coco—a sanctuary where the only sounds were her paws scratching against the sand, the distant cries of gulls, and the steady, calming ebb and flow of the tide. The air smelled faintly of salt and seaweed, crisp and clean, carrying with it the essence of freedom.
You leaned back, resting your palms against the cool sand, and tilted your face toward the horizon. Coco ran in wide circles, her leash stretching taut as she explored every inch of the beach, her excitement boundless. She was chaos and joy intertwined, a little menace with a heart full of adventure. She paused occasionally, glancing back at you as if to check that you were still watching, still sharing the moment with her. And of course you were.
As you sat quietly on the sand, watching the horizon and listening to the soothing crash of waves against the shore, a faint sound reached your ears—soft, high-pitched barks carried by the gentle breeze. It was distant at first, almost like an echo, and you tilted your head slightly, curious to find its source.
Turning your gaze down the beach, you spotted a little shape bounding toward you. It didn’t take long to recognize the unmistakable figure of a dachshund—a miniature version, with tiny legs pumping furiously and floppy ears bouncing with every step. Its short, sleek coat shimmered in the fading light, as if the sunset had cast a golden glow upon it.
The little dog seemed determined, its tiny bark growing louder as it approached, full of energy and confidence despite its diminutive size. Coco, who had been enthusiastically terrorizing seagulls just moments ago, froze mid-pounce and turned her head toward the newcomer. Her tail wagged in curiosity as she trotted closer to investigate, leash stretched taut between her bounding enthusiasm and your watchful presence.
You couldn’t help but smile as the dachshund came closer, its expressive eyes shining with a playful glint. It was a bundle of determination, undeterred by its small frame, and it raced across the sand like it owned the entire beach. Its barks shifted to soft, excited whines as it finally reached you, stopping abruptly and wagging its tail so fast it was almost a blur.
Coco, now nose-to-nose with the newcomer, barked once, loud and clear, as if announcing her presence. The dachshund responded with an eager yip, and the two dogs began their own silent conversation—sniffing, circling, and playfully nudging one another in an instant friendship that only dogs seem to know how to form.
“Leo, no! Leo!” The shout echoed across the beach, cutting through the sound of waves crashing gently on the shore. You turned your head just in time to see a man jogging toward you, his steps hurried and slightly uneven as he tried to catch up with the little dachshund. So, you thought, Leo must be his name, and judging by the urgency in his tone, this wasn’t the first time the dog had run off to cause mischief.
As the man got closer, you couldn’t help but notice him. He was actually pretty good looking—more than pretty, if you were honest. His brown hair was tousled from the run, sticking up in a way that gave him an effortlessly charming, disheveled look. There was a flush on his cheeks from exertion, the kind that made him look alive, approachable, almost familiar. He reached the two dogs—Coco and Leo—just as they began to chase each other in a small circle, their tails wagging furiously in a kind of joyous chaos.
“Stop annoying this pretty lady and her dog,” the man said with a lopsided grin, his eyes flicking between his mischievous dachshund and you. His voice was warm and slightly breathless from the run, and you felt a flutter in your chest at his words. When his gaze finally landed on you, you noticed his eyes—a mesmerizing mix of colors, swirling together. Blue, green, maybe even a hint of brown; you couldn’t decide which shade you liked the most.
You smiled softly, brushing away your surprise and meeting his gaze. “That’s okay,” you assured him, your voice calm and easy despite the little whirlwind happening at your feet. “They’re just playing.” Coco barked happily in agreement, as if to confirm your statement, while Leo wagged his tail furiously, looking innocent despite the chaos he had just caused.
“I swear, he’s nothing but a troublemaker,” the man said, his voice tinged with playful exasperation as he rested his hands on his knees. He pointed at Leo, who at that very moment was trying to outmaneuver Coco in their chaotic game of chase.
You chuckled softly, a warm laugh escaping your lips. “I know this feeling all too well,” you replied, glancing down at Coco, who was now furiously wagging her tail while sniffing at something in the sand. “Coco is exactly the same.”
The man straightened up, brushing a hand through his messy, windswept hair. His face lit up with interest as he repeated the name. “Coco?” he said, tilting his head slightly. “My friend had a dog named Coco,” he added with a hint of a smile.
You couldn’t help but smile back at the coincidence, the corners of your lips curling upward as your gaze met his again. There was something easy, almost serendipitous, about the moment—a shared connection, however small, born out of nothing more than two mischievous dogs on a beach.
“What’s your name, if I may ask?” he said, his voice warm and casual, yet carrying a hint of curiosity that made your heart skip a beat. There was something about the way he asked, the way his eyes—those mesmerizing, multicolored eyes—locked on yours that set your pulse racing just a little faster.
“I’m Y/n,” you replied, a soft smile curving your lips as you tried to sound composed, even though you could feel the faint flutter of nerves in your chest. “And yours?”
He mirrored your smile, a lopsided grin that seemed to light up his face even in the fading glow of the sunset. “I’m Charles,” he said simply, his tone unassuming yet somehow disarming, as if his name alone carried a charm all its own.
For a moment, the world seemed to fade around you—Coco and Leo still chasing each other in the sand, the gentle crash of the waves, the golden hues of the beach—all of it softened as you focused on him. There was an ease to his presence, a quiet confidence that made the moment feel natural, as though meeting him was exactly what was supposed to happen.
“Do you come here often, Y/n?” Charles asked, his voice easy and conversational, yet there was an unmistakable undertone to his words—an interest that went beyond casual small talk. His lips curved into a subtle smile, one that reached his multicolored eyes, warm and inviting. He was already looking toward the horizon, but it wasn’t the sunset he was thinking about. It was the possibility of seeing you here again.
You felt your heart skip slightly at his question, a combination of nerves and intrigue swirling in your chest. “I do,” you replied, your voice steady but with a softness to it that you couldn’t quite hide. “It’s my favorite place—especially at this time of day.”
His smile deepened, as if your answer had confirmed something he’d been hoping to hear. “It’s a good spot,” he said, glancing down at Coco and Leo, who were now tumbling over each other in a playful tug-of-war with a piece of seaweed. “I think Leo might agree too.”
You chuckled, looking at the two dogs, their antics painting the moment with a sense of ease. “Looks like Coco does too,” you said, nodding toward your golden retriever, whose tail wagged furiously as she tugged on the seaweed.
Charles shifted his gaze back to you, his expression thoughtful, as though he were savoring the interaction. “Well,” he said, his tone playful but with a quiet sincerity beneath it, “I might have to bring Leo here more often then—just in case I run into you again.”
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© norristrii 2025
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kenyummy · 10 days ago
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✰ 07. the ballad of a bygone blight.
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✰ ꒰ ⍣'ˎ˗ platonic yandere batfam / spider! reader ꒱
✰ 07. a fools own parade.
SYNOPSIS : being spidey isn't easy. being transported into an alternate universe where you're nothing but a shadow in your house, makes sneaking around a little easier... until you find yourself the apple of their eye... kind of.
note: im not really sure if it counts as it's a very small passage but tw for a lil bit of an identity/existential crisis??? not very sure haha I mostly just write what comes to mind
also, first father appearance! yay! he finally shows up, and he's as mysterious as ever, hehe. next chapter will be either dink focused or ... someone else... 🤔🤔🤔
prev. ✰ masterlist ✰ next.
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You dab at your nose with a tissue, cringing at the sight of crimson still pouring out from it. How hard was that guy's chest, anyway?
A thick bandage is stuck tightly on your nosebridge, taped to your skin and soaked in blood. Changing it every hour was a giant pain, but you'd rather have a bloody bandage than clothes.
Thinking back on it, you almost can't imagine the look in Tim's eyes again. Nothing strange. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but different enough to make the hair on your arms raise.
(You're the greatest anomaly in his life. Isn't it natural a detective wishes to solve such a damning mystery?)
How differently his entire composure grew once he saw you laying there, dirtied hands clutching your face. Was it normal for a guy like him to change his entire stance at such a moment? You'd be inclined to believe he couldn't care less about something like this, from all those diary entries spanning several years.
But seeing that look, when you'd stopped him from coming closer, putting distance between you two, as you thought there'd always been, how could you possibly think that? That look of worry, fingers twitching as he reached out, and expression of pure betrayal when you'd stepped backwards. Away. From him.
Wasn't that how it'd always been? You couldn't stop thinking. Maybe you were wrong? Maybe your spidey sense, for the first time in your life, was wrong?
They say that a fool's time spent thinking is wasted time.
You spent hours sitting at your desk pondering all of this. What it meant. Why your siblings seemed to all give you this strange, sinking feeling in your stomach. Raise goosebumps up your arms.
Soon, these thoughts spiralled back to your home. How you could help Reed. Speed up the process. Not wishing to mess with his delicate work nor rush him, but also getting restless with this family.
This family who's known you for their whole lives, yet seems to similarly know nothing about you. This you, their you, any you. Too little to care, too much to hate. The worst kind of balance that upset the universe and made your stomach twist with bile.
But at this point, you weren't too sure who was who, which was which.
If, tommorow, you'd lost everything and if you were caught in a blazing heat, would it be you who had died? Or somebody else? Would it be you in that coffin, underneath a stone who's name carved into it, did not belong to you?
The concept of being your own person, what did it mean? What could it mean when there were more of you, exactly the same, only shaped by their environment? An endless amount of copies, down to the genetic level, each in different worlds yet unmistakably the same?
When you stare into the mirror, nothing is the same except the red that flows down your knuckles when you slam your fist into it. Nothing remains the same except what you look like inside.
Though—in the end—even that belonged to them, didn't it?
You barely ever see your sister, nor her blonde friend. The ginger haired woman has more pressing matters to attend to than ever seeing you, it seemed—something you'd actually grown to appreciate, seeing how positively suffocating those other "siblings" had started to become.
Dick, who was thankfully off in Blüdhaven around now. Jason, who should be out doing his own thing, but seemed to always spare some time for you... as much as you insisted on him not doing that. Tim, who always stared with a little too much intensity and danger hidden behind a sharp smile.
And Damian—your only blood-related sibling, seeming to take great pride in such a fact as he brings it up far more often than not.
You'd begun to realise a distinct lack of a parental figure in your...—
This. This life.
Not yours. This life absolutely was not yours. Everything is seriously messing with your head. Belonging to another unfortunate soul, who happened to have your name, shared your face and voice, yet was everything you never were. Experienced things you never did, yet as you lived in a freedom they could never dream of.
You pitied them more than anything else. But that didn't mean you could just give everything you've ever known up. Your people, your city, your friends, your freedom. This blood that runs through your veins and makes your heart beat steady—it may belong to them, but you never will.
As it spills, you will be free. Losing that chain that binds you and perhaps you will be allowed to feel that wind hitting your face once more. Allowed to swing, fly, feel air and be everything you were destined to become.
Your suit forms over your body and you leap out of your window, leaving nothing but a gust of wind in your wake.
Because, despite everything, it is still you.
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The Spectacular Spidey seems to swing and never sleep—the alliteration in the title of this news article you've read makes your head hurt. Said only as an unfortunate pun referring to how you swing from building to building, and only operate during night hours.
(Yet, still careful on avoiding your dearest family... as difficult as that may be—your senses are seriously saving your skin... wait, now you're using alliteration—)
You don't have anything against working during sunlight. In fact, it would be preferable for you. But escaping from school has now become increasingly more difficult after you'd "opened your heart" to MJ and Harry.
Both were completely convinced you were spiralling down a bad path after how you'd acted with Jason, or concerned for both your homelife and general wellbeing—sometimes you truly did damn yourself for picking such good friends.
Nevertheless, you couldn't possibly be worrying about something like that right now, when there's a much bigger problem right in front of you.
A man dressed in a rag-like coat lay beneath your heel, defeated and hands bound together with your webbing.
You'd originally expected to leave immediately, hoping to catch Reed before he was off looking for whatever new part he needed for his grandest project. But now, you can't even hope to move at this point—swamped by flashing cameras and microphones shoved into your face.
Suddenly, you're so incredibly grateful you wear a mask, because you aren't too excited at the prospect of having such unflattering photos of you taken.
"Spidey! What are you doing in Gotham?"
You stammer, "Uh—well, you know—"
"Spiderguy! What's your thoughts on the articles calling you a knockoff Batman?"
"How am I anything like him?" You gesture to your bright red suit. "Also, it's not Spiderguy—"
"Spidey! Spidey! How do you create that webbing fluid? Is it organic? And is it environmentally sustainable? Who's going to clean it?" The reporters move closer and closer.
You inch backwards, "Uh—well, you know, my webbing dissolves in a couple hours by itself, and of course it's sustainable—"
Before you can finish, a multitude of voices all ring through your ears at once. Piling atop eachother, all at the same time, forming into a mush of different tones and accents, indistinguishable from one another.
You can't even hear anything anymore, not until a voice, loud and clear, cuts through a multitude of others and strikes your ears with ease, "Hey, Spidey! Our viewers have a question for you—how have you gotten past Batman? I'm sure you know he doesn't allow metahumans in Gotham, right?"
You freeze. Shocked, but soon, that shock soon morphs into confusion at what exactly a metahuman is.
"I... uh—" You glance to the side. You know, doing this will spark way too much gossip for your own good. Doing this is practically asking for those headlines that, while technically true, are completely outlandish. You were a reporter yourself (for your alter ego, to be fair—but it still counts).
You know this can't end in any other way than complete disaster.
That's why you reach up, webbing to a building and wave goodbye to those pesky paparazzi, "No comment!" With all the wit a Spider must have, you decide that your flight or fight response instead chose: Web away with a sly remark.
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"They should be around here, Batman."
Oracle's voice rings out through the earpiece. Barbara had taken the liberty of helping him in his little crusade after seeing that stunt on live television—that spider-hero running away after hearing that metas weren't allowed in Gotham... though, it provided more questions than answers.
Babs was growing restless. For one: that reaction possibly explained why they were so wary of any member of their family even coming close to them. Always running at the first sight of them, webbing away faster than they could hope to catch up. Escaping Batman and his Robin, Babs couldn't help but wonder about them.
They're good. Smart. They're not some new hero. Clearly whoever's behind that mask has experience.
But this raised far too many questions in it of itself. Why had you only popped up now? Why not years ago —if, judging purely by her own gaze, with the years of experience in crime fighting you must have? Why Gotham?
And perhaps, the most daunting question of them all, "Who exactly are you, Spider?"
Bruce's gruff voice reaches her ears, "What was that?"
Her eyes widen, not realising she'd spoken aloud. Shaking her head, she relents, "No... sorry, it's nothing. Right... according to witness sighting and where they were last spotted, you should be meeting them in the middle right now. Do you have any sightings?"
Bruce shakes his head, jumping over to the top of the next apartment block roof—cowl landing in a swoop behind him. "No. Not yet. See if there's any new sightings."
Bruce Wayne was beginning to grow tiresome of this new hero's antics. Running around through Gotham without a care in the world—all too bright and cheerful as if this was all that mattered. Running around as a meta—unchecked and absolutely dangerous.
Nothing good could come out of this. Not without knowing exactly who you were and what you wanted. He never was a dictator type—never had it in him—but with a crime-riddled city like Gotham, he had little choice.
One small mistake could ruin everything. Collapse all that he's worked so hard to create. A better city, a better future. A regular human—as he is—couldn't possibly ever handle a rouge meta... and in the end, this city may not want him, but he really is the type of hero it needs.
So, that's why, instead of patrolling through his sector—he asks Orphan, Batwoman, and Spoiler to take over for tonight, so he can do some much needed digging into this anomaly.
Tim told him that his webbing sample, one he managed to collect around a month ago, when he'd first come into contact with them, had dissolved within hours. Not enough time to perform any kind of intricate testing, not by a long shot.
Batman has taken the almost passive stance—uncharacteristic of him—but now, he realised with such a slippery Spider, he had to do what he does best, and corner them.
His whitened eyes dart up at the flash of red that flies past him. He snaps his head back and finds the Spider—the one he'd been looking for all this time—swinging from building to building, fast.
But not nearly fast enough. With one false swoop, Bruce is after you, grappling towards you, eyes narrowed and mind absolutely determined.
"Batman? Batman?" Oracle pipes up—he assumes she's been talking for the past couple minutes, but only realised she was speaking into his earpiece now. "Can you hear me? Do you have a visual?"
"I see them. Nearly have them."
The Spider darts their head over their shoulder almost frantically—moves stuttering when they see how close he's gotten toward them.
"Hey! Why are you so obsessed with me, huh?" Thrir voice calls out—unlike anything he'd ever heard. "I mean, okay—yeah, I get it. But if you want a fashion taste like mine, I can make you a suit of your own!"
He clenches his jaw to stop himself from saying anything back.
Their voice grows more framtic at his silence, "H... Hey! You're getting really close, there—let it go! I'm not a villain! I swear!"
More silence, and they seem to let out a loud groan of frustration, seemingly aimed at him.
They stop. Heels landing flat atop a building, and Batman, with his cowl wrapped around him like a cloak, follows on their heel, stalking closer towards them.
You raise your hands in defence, stepping backwards and shaking your masked head, "Waitwaitwait—! Don't get violent with me, I don't want to fight you!"
"Then what do you want?" His voice grows deeper, more gruff and cold. "No metahumans are allowed in Gotham without my permission. There's too much trouble that comes with it. Too many difficulties."
He pauses. "Too much crime. Too many deaths. Unnecessary, preventable ones. Who are you to be an exception?"
"I said wait—!" You shriek as he practically stalks into your personal space bubble. "I'm not a metahuman!"
He stops in his tracks. "... What?"
You let out a heavy sigh, now that he's stopped. Batman taps on his earpiece, "Oracle, can you hear this?"
"Reading, Batman."
You look around, to see nobody. "Oracle? Who's Oracle?" You never read anything about an Oracle.
"None of your business. Now speak. If you aren't a metahuman, what are you?" His whitened eyes narrow, and suddenly those pointy ears aren't so silly looking anymore.
You blink. Once, then twice. "Would you believe me if I said I was from an alien planet full of spider-people?"
Despite the reprocessing telling him your backstory would have on you being near non-existent—you still aren't too fond of the idea of the Batman, your father, knowing your secret backstory.
Besides, Oscorp really does exist in this universe, too—Norman is actually pretty nice. You don't want any unwarranted blame falling on him.
"Not a chance." He folds his arms over his bat-symboled chest and you falter with a sigh.
Worth a shot.
"Fine." Not to say he was the reason you finally relented—but his stare was pretty unnerving. "I was bit by genetically modified spider on a school field trip. It altered my DNA so I became stronger, faster, could stick to walls and became three times more flexible than the average person."
You finish with a winded breath, eyes scanning his expression for any hint of an emotion. You found none.
"Why should I believe you?"
Pausing, you glance away. Crouching down on that rooftop, on the ledge, staring down at the city below. Dimly lit roads and the people littering it. So much like your home, yet so different.
You could see why Batman was this city's protector. You could see why he was so careful about this world, and you almost respected him for it. At the same time, though, you couldn't help but think to all those chicken-scratched diaries.
By a helpless child, unable to depend on anybody but him in this world, and he had still failed. For that, you couldn't face him. Not now, not ever.
"You don't have to believe my story." You finally manage to unlodge the words from your throat. "I'm just saying that whatever your rules are—my existence doesn't defy them. You have no reason to keep chasing me down."
His sharp, whitened eyes narrow. It's the only thing visible in such deep darkness where he lingers.
"Actually..." Oracle's voice rings out through Batman's ears. "Their story... might have some truth to it. Check this out—Oscorp's been working on developing a, quote, super-powered spider. Says spider venom is the cure for disease and pandemics. They've been developing in this field for a while."
A super-powered spider sounds absolutely ridiculous, he thinks. But nothing he hadn't seen before. In a world full of aliens, heroes, personification of life, death, and everything in-between—he shouldn't be surprised at the prospect of gaining superpowers from spider venom.
Looking down at you now—slouched, facing away from him, and almost seeming restless... "Oscorp."
You look back at him, confused. "Huh?"
"Did that spider come from Oscorp?"
... You bite down on the inside of your cheek, hard. Looking back away before you could stop yourself. "No. I'm not from around here. I live far. Far away."
"What do you mean by far away? Why are you in Gotham, then?" He steps closer, to the point he's standing over you with all that intimidating bat-aura that makes the criminals of Gotham run for the hills. Still, you can't bear to see him. Because if you do, you know you'll spill everything you've been holding in like a waterfall.
"I don't know," you admit, honestly. "I don't know why I'm here. I want to go home, but I don't know where that is anymore. All I know is that, while I'm here, I might as well help people. Because... that's what I do."
For a moment, there's no sound other than the honking of cars on a busy road. He's quiet, as silent as he always is. Always was. For a moment, you think you almost see him as that father from so long ago.
But only for a moment.
"... How old are you?"
To your surprise, he doesn't immediately go to accusing you of lying again, or keep his standoffish persona any longer—only asking you this simple, yet strangely personal, question.
In simple words, you're really confused. "What? Why does that matter?"
"You sound young. Too young. And from the way I've seen you fight, you're experienced in fighting high, street-level crime. If I had to guess, I'd say you've been doing this for at least three years. Maybe more."
Sweat beads at the back of your neck, and suddenly everything starts caving in, crumbling like failed architecture. How did he know? How could he have possibly—
Batman continues, "The way you talk, and the way you behave in the public eye, you can't be an adult. I'm assuming you're a child. Meaning you've been fighting crime since you've been in your early teens, right?"
"What are you talking about?" You stand up at your full height, staring up at him. Glaring, as well as you can manage from underneath those refractive lenses. He doesn't back down. "I'm not—"
"You're a child," He repeats. "Don't carry this weight. You don't have to carry the weight of—" Gesturing towards the ground below, he stares down at you, strangely sadly, "All this. Especially not all by yourself. Not as a child."
The only word you want to spit out at him is hypocrite.
"Don't act all high and mighty. That Robin you have looks 12. You're saying a 12 year old is capable of fighting crime but I shouldn't? I'm nearly an adult, for god's sake! I'm—"
You slap your hands over your masked mouth, but still continue. "Don't treat me like I don't know better. You don't know me. You have no idea what has happened in my life."
"I only take Robin under my wing because he needs it. So I can watch over him."
You glare, "So what? So he can turn out like you?"
"So that he doesn't."
And to this, your lips feel sealed shut. You want to say something, but you can't. What could you possibly reply to this?
Even Oracle is silent. Not a word, not a peep. Nothing. The honking of cars has ceased, and it's like the world itself had just gone quiet for that one, stunning moment.
"You're not from here, so I don't know you," Finally, he speaks, and it's like the silence has been shattered like glass. "You're right. But... you're a child. You aren't obligated to this. This isn't your responsibility—to make this world better. If you can live normally, you should."
Isn't such normalcy why you ended up like this in the first place? All those entries, wishing to be like the rest of them—and here your father is now, telling you to be yourself.
If only they had heard this, you think, bitterly. Then, you'd know you were right. That he would only ever see you if you had become one of them.
The thought makes your stomach churn. How pretentious could this man—this devil—possibly be?
"You're wrong. To live normally like this, when I was given the strength to be better, to do things to be a better me... that's just wrong." You clench your fists, hard. "I already made that mistake before. It doesn't matter whether I'm 18 or 80. All that matters is that I'm doing what I know is right."
You pause, allowing the words to sink in. "But to discard the normally in your life is a waste. That's why I live the way I do. To protect the normalcy around me, the ones who can't protect themselves. With great power comes great responsibility... my responsibility is to be the best Spidey I can be."
...
You angle your wrist up and don't bother to look back at him when you walk away, "You and your birds can come after me all you want, but I won't stop doing what I think is right. 'Cause I'm a hero."
When you thwip away, you aren't so sure how you'd forgotten that. How a hero protects the ones they love above all else.
Your family aren't heroes. Perhaps, to the public, and even the whole world—but not to you. They'd failed to protect that child, a miserable, small child, left in that massive world.
To make it so they felt they had to save people, to take that responsibility of power to matter—that was their greatest failure.
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"... Batman?" Barbara's voice is a dramatic shift from the silence that started to consume him. "Batman,are you okay? Batman? ... Bruce? Are you..."
He takes a moment to regain his composure, world still spinning as he speaks, "I'm fine. They're... they're okay." Saying the world's like they're hard to spit out, or like he's unsure himself. "I'm coming home."
Barbara wants to say something. About that spider. About what they said to him. Power, responsibility, protection, normalcy, love. But she doesn't. By the sound of his voice, he seems just as frazzled as she is. A conflicted Batman means no good for anybody, including her.
So, she will let him think. Oracle can take a back-seat for now. So can Batman. For now, she's just Barbara Gordon. And he's just Uncle Bruce.
Holding her tongue, "Cass and Steph aren't back yet. Kate left a while ago... said there was something she needed to do. ... Everyone else should be at home, I think..."
"Okay." He murmurs, quieter.
Barbara shuts her mouth and leans back in her chair. There's nothing else for her to say, so once more, there is silence.
...
When Bruce returns back to the Manor, he finds himself pushing past everything and everyone, including Alfred, and rushing up the stairs. Not even bothering to take off his suit fully—tossing his helmet behind him and walking away.
Down a hall to the left, then up right, then left again. Stopping once he, finally, stands in front of a door. Blank. Colourless, dull. Like the rest of the manor, blending in away from those extravagant suits and too-bulky armours.
After a brief moment of confliction, he brings his fist up, and knocks. Standing there, almost the size of the doorway, waiting for any kind of reply.
"Hello? What—"
You freeze at the sight of your father staring down at you—this time, his eyes were as blue as ever and his face was less grim. This time, you could see the greying of his dark hair and the crease of his brows.
This time, there was no escape.
"[name]." He says your name as if it's foreign, unfamiliar. Testing it out like a new spice or seasoning, then seeming to come to the conclusion that he likes it. "It's been a while."
You're frozen in place, mouth open yet unable to speak. What could you possibly do now? Run? Swing? Duck past—
A hand places itself on your shoulder and every siren in your body blasts itself tenfold. Blaring like the most buzzing and painful alarms—so awful that you have to grab the side of the doorframe to stop yourself from falling over.
Panic gnaws at every side of you, chest rising and falling erratically when your headache grows.
What is this? This is so much worse than when I'm with Jason—
His face morphs and blurs as does his words, yet you manage to catch the few, "I think we should spend more time together. Become closer, like how it was before. You are my child after all. The only one who doesn't have patrol or scoutings with me. That calls for more regular ways of bonding, right? That's my responsibility... as your father."
He's smiling. Hardly so, but you're about to collapse. A deafening buzz in your skull, you spit out any agreements you can manage through squeezed eyes, waiting for him to go, to leave, so for a moment, you can finally breathe.
"I'm glad you agree," he says, moving back. Clearing his throat, he looks down at you, recovering as he gives you space. "Next week, then?"
You clutch your head, jaw taut and stance tense. It's a wonder how he hadn't noticed your absolute discomfort, but you digress—just wanting him to go. "Sure."
"Good, then—" Before he can finish, your door slams shut in his face and once again, that barrier has returned. Bruce pauses, staring at that slab of wood keeping you from his line of sight.
Bruce lingers for a few moments longer, fingers hovering the handle, before retracting back and swallowing thick.
Batman walks away, but glances twice over his shoulder, cowl falling behind him.
You slump down your door with a heaving sigh, feeling your head start to clear and breathing stabilise.
That feeling of fear, of utter terror—it was the feeling you'd get with Jason and Tim, but tripled. It was torture. Absolutely awful. Unbearable. You'd not relt anything while you were Spidey on that rooftop, but seeing him here now send your senses spiralling into a whirlwind of chaos.
You grab your head and it falls onto your knees, pulled up to your chest.
Your eyes fall bleak and everything blurry again. Are you going to cry, like a child? To prove him right again, that you're afraid of this? Of him?
Maybe you were more similar to his version of you than you were lead to believe. Maybe—
Still, though, your phone buzzes.
A strange sounding noise compared to the cheap, hand-me-down one you had in your other room. Probably spammed with stupid videos from MJ, and worried texts from Harry. Maybe even the odd "how are you?" from Matt, or something.
(You still don't know how he texts, but that's beyond you).
You pick up your phone, despite the lingering thought it could just be from one of your family members. Siblings, or father.
... You were half right.
From a contact customised to say, the #coolest auntie, there's a text.
Hey, kid. Let's go out. It's been way too long.
You stare down at the bright phone screen for a few seconds longer than you should've. Surprised, sure, but just as confused. Swallowing and considering your options for a second.
You haphazardly let your fingers fly over the keyboard. If your contact name for her was this comfortable, she must be a good person, right? Maybe she could provide an outside perspective on everything. Your family, their hero-lives, even you.
You press your lips tightly together narrowing your eyes down at her contact profile picture. Short, red hair and a smug smile. Pale skin, and the features reminiscent of your father.
Sure. Where?
When you watch the text bubbles pop up on the screen, you can't help but wonder what exactly you're going to do next.
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taglist: @hello-bina @cosmosluckycharms @1abi @yhin-gg @insideoutjulie @bluepanda08 @omnivirgo @vanessa-boo @dind1n @welpthisisboring @lunaetiicsaystuff @marsmabe @atanukileaf @findingjaxx @4mrplumi @bunniotomia @lostsomewhereinthegarden @bat1212 @gaychaosgremlin @bongwaterflavoredgatorade @randomlyappearingartist @cxcilla @spidermanluvr444 @cruzerforce4256 @mybones537 @xjesterxjacksx @nirvanaxx1942 @djpuppy-kittens @br33zy-blizzardz @moon0goddess @0sunnyside01 @mei-simp @redsakura101 @the-dumber-scaramouche @wizzerreblogs @lovemiss-vale @deathbynarcisstick @allycat4458 @wonmyheart @luckyangelballoon @one-piecelover @hartwyrm @horror-lover-69 @maria-trisha @4rachn3 @galaxypurplerose @duskeras @coffeeaddictxd @lithiumval @kaz-playz
taglist is open!
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phoenixrisingastro · 5 months ago
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Synastry Hot Takes: The Spicy Edition 🔥
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When it comes to synastry, the stars don’t lie. Some connections sizzle with chemistry, while others leave you wondering if the universe is playing a joke. Here are some bold takes on synastry and aspects that might just explain why you can’t stop thinking about someone—or why they drive you absolutely insane.
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1. Venus-Pluto Aspects
If you have Venus-Pluto in synastry, good luck. This aspect will have you obsessing over someone at 2 a.m., scrolling through their Instagram, wondering why they’re suddenly your entire universe. It’s magnetic, transformative, and absolutely maddening.
Hot Take: Is it love or a karmic lesson in boundaries? Probably both.
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2. Mars-Uranus Aspects
Mars-Uranus synastry screams "instant attraction" with a side of unpredictability. This connection is electric—think whirlwind romance, sudden confessions, and "how did this happen so fast?" vibes.
Hot Take: It’s thrilling until one of you ghosts because the intensity was too much to handle.
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3. Moon-Mars Aspects
Emotional meets physical with Moon-Mars in synastry. The passion is off the charts, but so are the arguments. You’ll either be making up... or breaking up... every other week.
Hot Take: This is the ultimate "can’t live with them, can’t live without them" aspect.
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4. 12th House Synastry
When someone’s planets fall into your 12th house, it’s like they’ve stepped into your subconscious and started rearranging the furniture. The connection feels karmic, but it can also be confusing and heavy.
Hot Take: Is this soulmate energy or a psychological experiment? You’ll find out eventually (maybe).
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5. Mars-Pluto Aspects
This is raw, primal attraction that’s almost impossible to ignore. The chemistry is undeniable, but the power struggles? Intense. It’s the kind of connection that can feel addictive and destructive at the same time.
Hot Take: Mars-Pluto synastry is like playing with fire—and loving every second of it.
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6. Sun-Moon Aspects
In harmonious synastry, this is the “you complete me” aspect. In challenging synastry, it’s the “you don’t understand me at all” aspect. Either way, it’s impossible to ignore.
Hot Take: Sun-Moon connections are either soulmate energy or a masterclass in compromise.
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7. 8th House Synastry
Planets in the 8th house in synastry create a connection so intense it feels fated. The physical and emotional chemistry is unmatched, but the vulnerability can be overwhelming.
Hot Take: This is "I’ll never forget them" energy—but it might cost you your sanity.
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8. Mercury-Mercury Aspects
When Mercury synastry flows, the conversations never stop, and you feel like you’ve met your mental match. But if it’s in hard aspect, it’s just endless debates and miscommunications.
Hot Take: Intellectual foreplay or exhausting mind games—there’s no in-between.
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9. Venus-Mars Aspects
Venus-Mars synastry is all about sexual tension. The attraction is magnetic, but if the aspects are challenging, it can turn into a frustrating game of “who’s in control here?”
Hot Take: This is that “love-hate” energy everyone secretly craves.
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10. Saturn Synastry
Saturn synastry can feel heavy, but it’s what makes a connection last. It’s all about lessons, commitment, and (sometimes) karma. You either grow together or feel trapped in a cosmic lecture series.
Hot Take: Saturn synastry is the “parent” of the zodiac—strict, but it keeps you grounded.
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Which synastry aspect do you secretly love (or hate)? Share your stories below! 😉
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uchizana · 6 months ago
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SPARK
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synopsis: in a whirlwind romance, a seemingly perfect relationship is shattered when jealousy rears its head, revealing minjeong’s unsettling obsessions and igniting a battle for sanity between love and darkness.
pairing: toxic girlfriend! minjeong x girlfriend!fem reader
warning(s): fire (uhm yeah...), jealousy, manipulation, toxic relationship, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, victimhood, violence. (let me know if I missed something!!)
word count: 7,2k (i had to rewrite it because my docs hates me and for some reason deleted the file where i had the original work... anyways this version is very similar.)
aespa masterlist.
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your relationship with minjeong was complicated.
at first, the world appeared pastel and soft, built on hues of affection and endless laughter. 
you remember the early days clearly — she was the kind of girlfriend who would take you out on dates every weekend,how she would surprise you with breathtaking bouquets, each more vibrant than the last. there were daisies, peonies, and delicate lilies, transforming corners of your home into a floral wonderland. your place started to resemble a botanical garden, petals spilling into every corner, their sweet scents blending with the memories of her laughter.
minjeong had a gift for warmth; there were times when she gazed at you as if you were a novel she could read forever, showering you with compliments that seemed to ebb and flow like the tides; “you look so beautiful today,” she would say, even on days when you hadn’t left the house or merely tied it into a messy bun. she would compliment you even when you forgot to fix your hair or wore an old hoodie. 
her sweet, simple gestures spoke volumes—kissing you on the knuckles, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear, and watching you intently when you spoke like you were the only thing in the universe that mattered. sometimes, she’d slip her hands into your pockets while you two held hands, wanting to keep your fingers warm when you forgot your gloves in winter. everything felt right, perfect.
but then, like a sudden storm cloud obscuring a clear sky, everything shifted. the first crack in your fairy tale surfaced when life’s mundane obligations got in the way of love.  one fateful weekend, you had to make a choice — a subject looming over your head like a dark shadow. with an important exam creeping ever closer, you found yourself compelled to cancel your much-anticipated date night with her. the guilt settled heavily in your stomach as you dialed her number, knowing how much she’d been looking forward to it.
“hey minjeong, i’m really sorry…” you started, your palms sweaty around the phone. “i can’t make it this weekend. i need to study. it’s this exam, and—”
nerves consume you, leaving you speechless. there was a long pause on the line. you could practically hear the wheels turning in her mind.
“it’s okay,” she finally said, her voice tight. “don’t worry about it,” her voice chimed back, light yet edged with something you couldn’t pinpoint. “good luck with your studies.” 
there was an unsettling dissonance lurked beneath the surface, leading you to believe she was fighting back something more than disappointment.
“i'm really sorry, baby. i promise i'll make it up to you as soon as possible.” you assure her, feeling the guilt eating away at you and making you feel bad, even when you weren't doing anything wrong other than putting your studies first.
“i told you not to worry about it. i understand, it seems that right now your studies are more important than your girlfriend, i get it.”
you didn’t miss the subtleties in her tone; the tension that suggested she was biting back words that didn’t fit into her kind demeanor.
“anyways, i'll hang up right now. i'll leave you to study in peace.”
however, judging by her tone of voice, you’d swear she was tapping the inside of her cheek with her tongue to keep from blurting out what she was really thinking.
of course, that’s how it was. you used that weekend to study, but there were a couple of changes along the way. you ended up meeting at a friend’s house to study. she told you that she had knowledge of the subject since her sister was studying the same subjects at university and spent nights and nights studying, so inevitably your friend ended up listening to her sister study, whether she wanted to or not, memorizing more knowledge than she anticipated.
you were focused on studying, hair tied in a messy bun, books and notebooks scattered all over the table, along with pencils and empty coffee cups. your friend thought it was kind of funny to see you so focused on studying when most of the time you never studied for tests or even put a pencil down in class, so she had no better idea than to take a photo when you weren’t looking.
you were deep in the grasp of equations and theories when your friend, in a mischievous moment, snapped a photo of you. you had been so absorbed that you hadn’t sensed her reach for her phone.
as she clicked the shutter, the light captured you: hair a mess, scribbles sprawled across your notebook, a look of fierce concentration. unbeknownst to you, that seemingly harmless moment cascaded into something monumental. your friend, having the joys of social media at her fingertips, instantly uploaded it to her instagram stories, a lighthearted snapshot of you crushing it at studying.
minjeong was home, idly watching television, when her phone buzzed, instantly receiving the notification that your friend had made a post seconds ago. why she had notifications from your friends activated and how she managed to get updates in real-time? well, that was a secret better left unsaid. you knew that she followed your friends closely, but you never thought much of it. that was her way of staying connected, of knowing what you were up to, as if weaving a delicate thread between you, even from afar. but this thread snapped when she clicked on the notification.
within moments, minjeong sat frozen in her living room, her heart racing. she glanced at the photo on her phone: you, hair piled haphazardly, surrounded by crumpled papers and empty coffee cups, looking like you were about to conquer an academic mountain. but it wasn’t only that. in the background, through the window, she could see your friend's house, ryujin’s house. the instant flash of jealousy sparked inside her—a gut-wrenching twist of envy that she fought to suppress.
the blossoming rage was immediate and insatiable. she nearly smashed her phone against the wall, leaving it to dangle dangerously from her fingertips, all shatters and anger. seconds felt like hours as her mind raced, spiraling through anger and betrayal with dizzying speed. 
her hand trembled, tightening around the phone as she scanned the comments already popping up, friends praising your focus, others playfully teasing you. each word only fueled the fire in her chest. the image replayed in her mind, vivid and cruel, making her heart race. what had she allowed to slip while you studied with another girl—so effortlessly immersed in the comfort of your friendship while she was left behind?
minjeong felt a sudden jolt of irritation surge through her. the kind that ignited flames of a insane jealousy. the realization that you were spending time with someone else, not just anyone, but with someone who was so visibly present in your life. someone who had now become a part of this moment you were sharing without her. it felt like betrayal—the photos intended to capture your essence instead felt like reminders of her absence.
what did it mean that you were there, alone with her? had you been telling her the truth this whole time about studying together? or had you grown tired of her and her little quirks? it felt like betrayal, visceral and raw. how did her sister's extra study sessions become her own?
in a rise of frustration, she silenced her phone, the sound echoing like a decision reverberating through her thoughts. she tossed it onto the couch and stood there, still as a statue. the warmth of the living room seemed to suffocate her, and her mind whirled with conflicting emotions. without thinking, she grabbed her jacket from where it hung and impulsively marched out of her apartment, slamming the door behind her—her heart racing as the chill of the evening air surrounded her.
where are you going? the question echoed in her mind as she stepped onto the city streets, her breath misting before her in the winter chill. she didn’t know where to go; the cold wind cut through her, much like the realization of what she felt inside. she was filled with confusion, anger, and hurt, questions swirling around her like the fallen leaves.
what if you didn’t want her anymore? what if this was just the beginning of something spiraling out of control? the images of you studying with someone else, laughing and flirting, ignited feelings she hadn’t felt in a long time.
maybe she was overreacting? the right words swirled out of reach, tangled in the threads of her heart. she played back memories—each sweet moment together battling with the icy reality of this new picture, this betrayal. she questioned every second they had spent together, every revelation she had quietly harbored about her feelings for you. you—who were supposed to be her source of happiness, now felt like a threat, a source of pain.
your walk back home is peaceful. the cold breeze of early winter kisses your face, sending tiny shivers down your spine. luckily, you have your coat on, its fabric a comforting barrier against the chill wrapping around the city. 
the faint glow of street lamps illuminated the sidewalk, their lights flickering like distant stars against a darkening sky. the scent of fallen leaves mingles with the faint aroma of smoke from distant chimneys, creating a vivid tapestry of autumn giving way to winter. you found comfort in the rhythm of your footsteps, each echo resonating against the chill of the night air.
as you reached the entrance of the building where you lived, you noticed a profound silence enveloping the space. the usual sounds—the laughter of neighbors, the creaking of doors, the faint hum of life—are conspicuously absent.
normally, you would hear the hum of distant conversations, the clatter of heels on the tile floors, or the soft notes of music drifting from neighbors' open doors. but tonight, the only sound was the faint rustle of your coat as you shuffled inside.
a strange feeling settled over your shoulders, as if the air itself was holding its breath, the kind that prickles at the base of your neck, whispering that something isn't quite right and making you sense that something was amiss. 
you pause for a moment, scanning the darkened hallway, but sigh and shake it off. it’s late, after all; perhaps everyone is tucked away, hibernating in their cozy nests.
you pressed the button for the elevator, the ding echoing through the stillness. as it ascended, an unsettling sense of unease crept in. you can’t even hear the faint sounds of other apartments—the muffled TV shows, the soft laughter, and the rhythmic background of city life. even the elevator seemed to hold its breath, devoid of the usual creaks and groans. you wondered if everyone around you had decided to vanish, leaving you as the sole inhabitant of this quiet realm.
the ascent felt slower than usual, the stillness heightened by the lack of familiar sounds. the soft whir of the machinery felt almost alien in this quiet atmosphere. just when you start to feel anxious, the elevator dings, announcing your arrival at your floor, but you feel unnerved, looking forward to the ordinary chaos of your apartment.
stepping out onto your floor, you adjusted your scarf and made your way down the hallway. rummaging through your bag for your keys, your thoughts wandered to what you’d studied at ryujin’s place earlier. it had been a late session, fueled by coffee and late-night snacks, and a part of you regretted not sending a text to let Minjeong know.
just as you were about to lose yourself in that thought, you felt a sudden grip on your wrist. startled, your heart raced as the hallway light flickered on, illuminating the figure of minjeong standing there, her expression a mix of concern and frustration.
“where have you been?” minjeong’s voice pierced the silence, echoing off the walls. her expression was layered with concern and something deeper—something that sent a shiver down your spine. in an instant, the hallway light flickered on, casting a warm glow that seemed almost foreign amidst the encroaching shadows.
you turned, wide-eyed, the knot in your stomach tightening. “minjeong? what are you doing here? it’s late.”
she narrowed her eyes, and the tension in the air thickened. “i could ask you the same thing. why were you out so late?”
you took a breath, felt the familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through you. “i told you i would use this weekend to prepare for my exam, remember? ryujin offered to help me study.” you explained, exasperated. “i forgot to tell you that i was going to her house to study, i’m sorry. but we had a big exam coming up.” you could feel the frustration bubbling beneath your skin, but you tried to keep your voice calm.
minjeong’s frown deepened, her arms crossing over her chest. you could see the gears of her mind shifting, grappling with what you’d just said. yes, she knew you were with ryujin, but verbalizing it seemed to ignite something within her, bringing out the demon of jealousy.
“just studying?” she pressed, her tone laced with skepticism. “how late were you planning on staying?”
you opened your mouth to respond, but she wasn’t finished. “you could’ve at least texted me, you know. i was worried!”
you raised your hands in a gesture of surrender, trying to keep your voice even. “i’m really sorry; i lost track of time. but you know ryujin is just a friend. we were going over notes, that’s all!”
her voice trailed off, eyes narrowing as jealousy crept into her words. “you’re always with her.”
“it’s just study stuff, minjeong!” you insisted, somewhat defensively. “you know you’re the one i care about.”
her fingers dug into your wrist as she leaned closer, her face betraying a tempest of emotions. “i can’t help it! i just— i don’t like this feeling!”
“feeling what?” you replied, bewildered. the tension crackling between you was palpable, each word finding its mark like arrows in a target as you both circled each other like wary opponents. “i’ll always choose you, minjeong. i just really needed to study.”
huffily, she crosses her arms, her fingers pressing her coat into her skin as if it were a shield. “it’s not about studying! it’s about you being inconsiderate. you could’ve called,” she huffs dramatically.
you feel a wave of frustration surge through you, but you brace yourself against it. “minjeong, you didn’t have to worry. i’m safe, and besides, i didn’t realize it had gotten so late.” your attempt at reason is met with a silence that hangs heavy in the air, tension crackling between you like static.
“safe?” she scoffs incredulously, her eyes narrowing. “you’re out with some girl at her place! i don’t want to sound controlling, but why would you put yourself in that situation without telling me? you could at least consider my feelings.”
“minjeong…” you feel the energy drain from your voice. the conversation is taking an unexpected turn. she knows you well enough to trust you, doesn’t she? you reach out to touch her arm, but she flinches away, retreating into her own anxieties.
“just let me into the apartment,” you plead, desperate to talk this out in private. something inside you hopes that they won’t spiral further into an explosive confession of jealousy and insecurities.
yet she shakes her head resolutely. “not until you explain why i should trust you when you’re out with another girl,” she insists, the fight in her voice wavering but ultimately holding firm.
after much hesitation, you manage to soothe the atmosphere. “i have no feelings for ryujin. our relationship is just a friendship. you're the one i love.”
eventually, after tired back-and-forth, she mutters, “... fine. i’m sorry for overreacting, but i just can’t help worrying… it’s not like anyone really talks to me about these things.” her voice softens, and you recognize that vulnerability; she’s slipping into her victim role again.
you try holding her gaze, searching for the truth behind her words. “it’s okay; i get it. just try to trust me a little more, alright?”
ninjeong smiles hesitantly, but the shadows of her doubts linger in her eyes like a storm cloud threatening to break. you unlock the door and let her into your apartment, unsure of what the night will unfold. the warmth of the living space is inviting, but the tension of the moment casts a longer shadow than you anticipated.
unbeknownst to you, this moment was just the beginning of something that had rooted itself deep in your relationship with minjeong—a well-meaning storm, brewed from jealousy and care, that would spiral and churn in ways neither of you could predict. as she brushes past you into the living room, you reluctantly realize what lies ahead may be more challenging than you’d hoped for.
the argument felt small at first, a mere bump in the road of your otherwise blissful relationship with minjeong. but as the days wore on, it became apparent that the little fight had unlocked something within her, something dark and volatile. the initial infraction—her jealousy over a casual conversation you had with a mutual friend—had spiraled into an endless cycle of blame and resentment.
you still recall the way her eyes had narrowed as she listened, her lips pressed into a tight line. that soft laugh you loved so much had been replaced by a chilling silence. what used to be playfully teasing turned into a gaze that bore down on you, probing, analyzing, judging; it felt like the weight of her disappointment was crushing your chest. once sweet and affectionate, she transformed into someone you hardly recognized—her demeanor twisted, like a pretty piece of art slowly warping into a grotesque figure and you wondered if you even recognized the girl you had fallen in love with.
you found it hard to breathe the first time she turned that silence on you after the argument. sitting across from each other at a cafe, the usual warmth in her gaze had vanished, replaced by an unsettling intensity. you looked everywhere but into her eyes, tracing patterns in the wooden table with your fingers. you could feel her stare, piercing and relentless.
“do you think she likes you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, but laced with an edge that made your stomach churn.
“who?” you notice that minjeong's gaze is no longer meeting yours, but is directed elsewhere across the room. you follow her gaze, and you understand what she means; a few tables away is your friend yizhuo, having breakfast and chatting with a friend of hers.
you exhaled slowly, hoping calm would drown the anxiety rising in your chest.
“don’t play coy,” she snapped, her voice suddenly sharp. “you know exactly who i’m talking about. is it really that hard to be honest with me?”
the argument blossomed, each word a petal of bitterness, eventually curling into a thorny reality. you didn’t understand where all this jealousy came from, nor did you grasp why her feelings conveyed so much potency. minjeong used to be the gentle spirit, the one who found beauty in everything—even in the world of people. now, she was the tempest, and you were ensnared within it.
but that wasn’t the end; it was merely the first act in an ongoing tragedy. the discussions didn’t stop. they became a staple of your daily life, an unwanted rhythm that resonated through your days. one friday night, a group of friends decided to gather at a local bar. laughter echoed through the walls, familiar warmth wrapped around you like an old blanket, but not for minjeong.
"are you even listening to me?" she snapped one evening during the dinner with her friends, her voice slicing through the laughter surrounding you like a knife. you had been chatting and catching up with your friends, oblivious to the thundercloud brewing in her mind.
"of course, i am," you replied earnestly, but the damage was done. the disapproval etched across her face was enough to ruin the mood. moments later, she dragged you outside under the pretense of needing air, her grip on your arm like steel.
"what's wrong with you? you've been ignoring me ever since we got here.” she demanded, her voice low but frigid.
you sighed, your heart racing. "it was just a conversation. i didn't mean to upset you."
"you should know better," she hissed, her eyes flashing. “you and your friends always do this. you want to hurt me, don't you?”
the phrase was confusing; what in the world made her think you would ever want to hurt her? yet every rational thought fell away, and you found yourself backpedaling, desperate to soothe the storm brewing within her.
“minjeong, please. i value you and our time together. you know that,” you pleaded.
she just gives you one last look, walking back into the bar, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 
you should have known she wouldn’t be willing to play nice. midway through the first round of drinks, you saw it—the familiar grimace twisting her features as she watched you engage in conversation with jimin, a longtime friend. you felt minjeong’s eyes digging into you like daggers, even as a lighthearted joke made jimin laugh. the sweet sound cut you off—no more jokes, no more laughter. as the night progressed and the alcohol flowed, minjeong's attitude simmered, eventually boiling over.
“can we leave?” she demanded, standing abruptly. Ignoring the pile of half-finished drinks and clinking glasses, she grabbed your wrist, her grip hard enough to bruise. you glanced around, trying to gauge the group's reactions, but most were busy enjoying the night. you caught jimin's concerned look—a silent plea for you to stay, but minjeong wouldn’t hear it.
“minjeong, can we just relax for a moment?” you attempted to reason with her, but the storm was too loud, and the chaos was all-consuming.
“no!” she yelled, the intensity of it drawing eyes toward your table. your heart sank; a familiar humiliation washed over you. together, you walked out into the harsh night, the cool air doing little to calm your rising anxiety.
“what the hell was that about?” you asked, your voice strained.
“why were you flirting with her? you were practically hanging off her every word!” minjeong's dark eyes locked onto yours, filled with an unhinged fury. it terrified you. ot wasn't the minjeong you fell in love with, but rather a version twisted by insecurities you couldn’t massage away.
“i wasn’t flirting!” you insisted. “you’re being unreasonable. everybody was just having fun!”
“fun for you, maybe,” she shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “i suppose it’s fun to watch you toy with someone else’s feelings.”
each syllable that slipped from her lips cut deeper than the last, practically shredding at your shared history. you tried to calm her down, stammering words of reassurance, but her only response was a silence so deafening it echoed.
from that point on, things escalated to new heights, a spiraling mess of fights that felt more reminiscent of a battle than the love you had once shared. just a few days later, at a small diner down the street, the situation hit a new low. as the waitress placed the tray on the table, you turned just in time to see her chuckling at something, probably because she thought it was adorable how you misread the name of your coffee when ordering earlier—a routine occurrence that had never bothered minjeong before. perhaps it was the way you returned the smile, or the lingering moment that stretched too long, but something snapped inside her.
the laughter was innocent; the exchange friendly. yet, to minjeong, it was tantamount to treachery.
“let’s go,” she said suddenly, her voice flat.
“what? but we just sat down!” you exclaimed, confusion mixing with exasperation. you detected the faintest tremble in her lips, a prelude to a full-blown tantrum.
“... did you say "but"? seriously?” she questioned, fury painting her voice. you barely had a chance to register the words before minjeong swept her arm across the table, sending the coffee cup crashing to the floor, splattering the waitress and staining the ground with bitterness.
“i’m so sorry!” you blurted, mortification flooding through you as you scrambled to your feet. the waitress stood stunned, and in that moment, your heart shattered into pieces. you apologized repeatedly while trying to help clean the mess, feeling Minjeong’s simmering rage heat the air around you.
“let’s just go,” she demanded, her eyes burning with fury as if challenging you to argue. but deep down, you were terrified of what she might do next. 
she stormed out, leaving you behind to pay for a meal that hadn’t touched your lips but felt heavier than any weight you had ever lifted. you left a generous tip, hoping to at least make amends for minjeong’s volatile behavior, but shame mixed with the taste of your muffled indignation as you left the café.
as you stepped out into the chilly evening air, the weight of it all crashed down on you. you briefly glanced back into the diner to catch a glimpse of minjeong. she stood there, a silhouette against the light, arms crossed, focused on something entirely beyond you. the realization crashed into you like a swift wave—you were lost in a relationship that had morphed into something toxic, a cycle of blame, punishment, and endless misunderstanding.
days of fighting would follow, each one leaving you increasingly drained. you learned to navigate carefully around her feelings, tiptoeing through conversations, wrestling with the fear of provoking another outburst. apologizing became a daily ritual, but it was a fool’s game, as though you were playing chess with a master who already knew all your moves.
nothing you did seemed to satisfy her, and every time you tried to stand your ground, she would employ that give-and-take tactic, leaving you scrambling to retrieve whatever ounce of affection you could salvage.
"you never understand what i need from you!" she'd cry, casting you a withering glare designed to pierce your heart.
you started dreading the moments you once cherished: evenings spent binge-watching shows, the casual strolls in the park, the intimate whispers shared in candle-lit corners of your favorite café. they all became tainted by her increasing paranoia and fury. in those moments, you didn’t catch a glimpse of the girl you fell for; instead, you stared back at a stranger who seemed to lose herself deeper in a well of insecurity with each fight.
what could you say to her to bridge the widening chasm? you wondered quietly if calling her out would work. but it always ended the same.
even in the stillness of your home, you could feel the shadows of her disappointment lurking. sometimes, as you lay in bed, you swore you could hear their whispers, taunting you to spur another confrontation. a ghost of the life you’d built together haunted your dreams, resurfacing in disorienting fragments where laughter hid behind walls built from distrust and rage.
to think, this all started with a simple argument. you sometimes daydreamed of how different your life could be without this turmoil, wondering nervously what life would look like if you weren't continuously tiptoeing around the storm that now defined your relationship with minjeong.
but in the end, naive hope lingered, refusing to extinguish despite the tempest that raged around you. you wanted to believe that one day, she would look at you with warmth restored, rather than that silent judgment that twisted her from within. you held on—because even through the tumult and the strife, there were threads of love that still remained, fragile and uncertain as they wove your lives together, if just for the moment.
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the engine hums softly, a white noise glazed over with tension, as you sit in the passenger seat of minjeong’s car. the world outside the window is an endless parade of trees, stretching far enough to feel infinite, but you can’t look away from the gnawing uncertainty that festers in your chest. the conversation that should have been had weeks ago hovers between you, palpable and toxic. as the cityscape fades into desolation, the weight of your relationship stretches thin, hanging by a thread.
you take a deep breath, your chest constricting as you prepare yourself for what you know must be said. conversations about love and loss echo in your mind, gnawing at your resolve. when minjeong’s hand rests on your thigh, a gesture once sweet and comforting, it now feels nearly suffocating. the warmth dissipates under the coolness of your apprehension.
“minjeong, can we talk?” you finally utter, your voice catching slightly in your throat, sounding smaller than you intended.
“what’s up?” she replies, her gaze fixed on the road ahead, though her grip tightens around the wheel.
you hesitate, glancing out the side window at the rushing landscape, the deep green blurring past. “it’s just… i don’t feel that spark anymore,” you say, the words feeling like stones tumbling down a cliff. instantly, the air thickens with disbelief, and you can’t bear to meet her eyes, now glinting with uncertainty in the rearview mirror.
“what do you mean you don’t feel the spark?” she questions with an edge of panic, her tone shifting from casual to razor-sharp, slicing through the tension thickening in the car.
the argument spirals from there, each of you grappling for the upper hand, your voices rising dangerously. you can barely process the words spilling from your mouth as you try to articulate your truth. her eyes flicker with hurt and rage, and you can almost feel the hair on your arms standing on end, bristling under the weight of her indignation.
“there’s something fundamentally broken between us, minjeong! i don’t know who we are anymore!” you’re shouting now, and a rush of adrenaline floods your body.
“i can’t believe you think this is all my fault!” she fires back, her knuckles white against the steering wheel. the car swerves slightly, and you dig your heels into the ground, a jolt of panic coursing through you as the pavement blurs into a double line.
“just focus on driving!” you shout, but it’s too late. you hear her breath hitch, the silence that follows layered thick with unshed tears and suppressed rage. “minjeong, please—”
suddenly, without warning, she jerks the wheel to the side, bringing the car to a sudden stop on the desolate roadside. dust swirls around in the golden glow of late afternoon, the world stilled around you, as if holding its breath along with you.
“what did you just say?” she repeats, her voice trembling with disbelief. her expression morphs, the initial hurt twisting into something darker, and even more frightening.
the air thickens, and you realize you’ve stepped too far. you don’t even recognize the fury in her eyes as she unbuckles her seatbelt and throws the door open, storming out into the open air. your heart races as her figure becomes small against the vastness of the road.
“minjeong, wait!” you call after her, moving to open your own door, only to find you’re locked inside. panic sets in as the automatic locks click ominously, sealing you in with your spiraling thoughts. you pound your fists against the window, frustration clawing at you.
“minjeong!” you shout, trying to wrangle her attention, your voice quaking. she stumbles into your peripheral vision, her back toward you, shoulders taut. then, in an instant, she disappears. heart pounding, you swivel around, confusion spilling into fear.
that’s when you see it. the unmistakable sheen of liquid splattering against the windshield, an eerie reflection of your horror mirrored in the glass. the smell is pungent, and your heart drops as you grasp what is happening.
“minjeong, don’t!” you scream, desperation clawing at your throat, but she doesn't seem to hear you. she is lost to whatever abyss has consumed her; the girl you once knew has vanished.
the gasoline coats the car, pooling in strange little rivulets that trace the car’s contours as minjeong stands in front of you, lost in a trance. a match flickers in her fingers, its flame dancing dangerously close to your cloud of panic. she holds it delicately, her expression unreadable—caught between rage and an eerie calm.
“watch,” she whispers, her voice almost saccharine, but there’s an undertone that sends chills racing through you. “this will bring the spark back, i promise.”
in one quick motion, she tosses the match into the pool of gasoline. time slows; the world compresses into a singular moment of fate sealing itself. 
your heart pounds against your ribs as the flames erupt, turning the world outside into a hellish kaleidoscope of oranges and reds. minjeong’s eyes glimmer with a wildness, a furious passion that you had long thought was reserved for love. it was intoxicating, but now it feels more like poison. the air around you thickens with fumes, panic rising in your throat as you grasp the reality of your situation. she’s gone off the deep end, and you’re trapped inside her fiery cage.
you slam on the windows with both fists, the sound muffled and desperate. “minjeong! open the door!” your voice is panicked, twisting into a shout that echoes through the confines of the vehicle. at first, she appears unfazed, a haunting smirk dancing on her lips. the atmosphere is electric—dangerous and exhilarating—yet your thoughts betray you, reminding you of the dull ache that has settled between you like an invisible rift.
your heart races as the flames erupt, engulfing the car and devouring the serenity that had once swirled between you and minjeong. the acrid scent of smoke fills the small space, mingling with the gasoline that blankets every surface. you pound on the glass, your fists an echo of disbelief and desperation, but minjeong just stares at you, a wild light in her eyes—a far cry from the sweet girl you once held in your arms.
as the flames lick at the trunk and crawl toward the driver’s seat, the heat creeps in, threatening to suffocate you. but more than the heat, it is the sight of her, standing there like a goddess of vengeance, that haunts your mind. where did the girl you love go? the girl who would curl up on the couch with you, giggling at inside jokes, the one who held your hand tightly on late nights?
“minjeong! stop!” your voice is hoarse, but the urgency rings clear. fear gnaws at you, and instinct pushes you to escape. you claw at the doors, your fingers dancing over the locks, but they don't budge. locked. the word loops in your mind, almost too much to bear.
she takes a step back, hitting the pause button on the chaos she has ignited. with trembling hands, you watch her, searching for a glimmer of recognition in her features, something that would remind you of the girl who laughed at your silly jokes and filled your weekends with warmth. Instead, you see a stranger, one who stands poised at the edge of insanity, her smile a grotesque mask on her face.
“did you really think you could just push me aside so easily?” she sneers, the smile twisting into something ugly. “you think you can just extinguish what we had—what i feel?”
you open your mouth to respond, but your breath catches as the fire flickers and dances, threatening to reach through the windshield. the world outside is muted now, as though the encroaching flames siphon away all sound. “minjeong, i care about you! i didn’t mean it like that!” you lean forward, the moisture in your eyes blurring the edges of her silhouette.
“care about me?” she echoes mockingly, the words dripping like venom. “it’s too late for that!” Her laughter rings hollow, shrill against the ominous crackling of fire.
and suddenly, she lunges forward, banging on the glass with the same frantic fervor that fills your chest. “you don’t see it, do you? this is the spark! you killed it! you have no idea what you’ve lost!”
hot tears mingle with the smoke that begins to creep in. panic swells; you lean back against the seat, the metal frame hot against your skin. “please, minjeong! we can talk about this! We can fix it!”
but the light in her eyes dims further, replaced by an overlay of anguish. “fix it?” she whispers, so soft it barely pierces the roar of the flames. “you think you can put a band-aid on this? you’ve already broken what we had. you’ve turned your back on me.”
in that moment, it’s clear that every moment together, every late night and laughter shared, has unraveled into nothingness. you remember the smiles, the moments of tenderness, the nights spent plotting futures together. but now, those echoes fade into oblivion, shattered by this haunting betrayal you never intended.
as the flames crack and wax, throwing shadows across her glassy visage, you strain against the seatbelt, desperate, panicking at the thought of losing her—losing everything you once held dear. “im sorry!” an apology that feels paltry escapes your lips, barely serving to bridge the chasm that has formed between you.
and with a strength you couldn’t comprehend, she tears down the remainder of the emotional barriers between sanity and chaos. as you edge closer, weighed down by the fear that wraps around your throat like a vice, she crumbles. the match she holds wavers, and you catch a glimpse of your minjeong again—a fleeting shadow, a flashing whisper of the girl who loved you fiercely.
you can’t let her go back to this. “listen to me, please! i never wanted to hurt you! i—”
you try to think of ways to escape, but the navy blue interior surrounds you like the jaws of a beast, each lock holding you in place as if the car itself is complicit in this tragedy. “stop this, please!” you scream, voice breaking on the last word. “i didn’t mean it like that! we can talk!”
her gaze flickers, a brief moment of uncertainty flashing in her eyes. it almost seems she is weighing her options, wondering if the anger she feels is worth the girl standing inside the car. you find yourself holding your breath. 
but it’s too late. the flame dances gracefully from her fingertips, and she lets it go, a careless act that sends shockwaves of fear through you. time slows as you watch it fall, the world narrowing to the small, flickering flame that lands on the gasoline-soaked surface of the car. it ignites with an eager roar, consuming the air around you in an instant.
you recoil, bracing yourself against the back of the seat as the fire spreads, heat prickling your skin. the stench of burning gasoline fills your lungs, and the choking smoke twists and turns, curling toward you like a dark hand that wants to pull you into its depths.
“why?” you gasp, your voice a thin wisp of disbelief. is this truly the person you once adored, the one you held under the glow of a streetlight and whispered your dreams to? as the flames grow taller, licking hungrily at the roof, you realize just how far you have drifted from the joyous heights of your early love.
“why?” she mimics, voice eerily calm amidst the chaos of the roaring flames. “because you wanted the spark? you’ve taken everything! sweet moments, tender touches—they were all because of your idea of love! this is what it looks like when you strip away the façade!”
y ou take a deep breath and lean forward, desperate to connect with her again, to reach through the haze of madness and remind her of all that was good between you. “minjeong, please! this isn’t you! let’s just talk—”
your words hang suspended in the air, but she remains unmoved. you can see the resolve etched into her features, a tragic conviction that seems to make her larger than life even in the midst of this crisis. you brace for the worst, your heart thundering in your chest. her face, once the definition of warmth, is now a tempest of rage, pain, and heartbreak.
the very essence of your relationship burns behind her eyes, and there, in that harrowing moment, you fear you’re witnessing the end of everything you’d built together. “you wanted the spark, didn't you?” she shouts, voice cracking under pressure, blending anger and sorrow. “you think you’re just going to walk away from this? no more empty promises!”
you feel it then—the crushing weight of reality crashing down on you. you are two people who have lost sight of why you fell in love in the first place. you have become strangers anchored by memories, and it hurts just as much to acknowledge it as it does to see the fire grow around you.
“minjeong, please!” your eyes burn from the smoke, but there’s a flicker of something within you—an ember of hope. “we can fix this! i didn’t mean to hurt you! i still care about you, i—”
but all she hears is betrayal wrapped in weakness. “you care?” she laughs bitterly, wiping away a tear that trails down her cheek, mingling with the sweat of her panic. “is this what caring looks like?”
moments stretch on as you process her anguish; the flames haven’t just engulfed the vehicle, but they’re consuming the last bits of clarity in the conversation. she takes a step back from the car, eyes wide, the wildness giving way to uncertainty.
desperation drives you as you shout, “minjeong! open the door! we can talk!” you slam your palm against the windows, creating a rhythmic pattern of thuds, shouts blending into chaos.
she watches you through the flames now, the mad gleam returning to her eyes. “talk? do you really think we can talk? this is us now! this is what we were!” the flames illuminate her, making her look almost otherworldly, distorting the very features you once adored.
she watches you, and for a flicker of eternity, it feels like she might relent. the fire licks at the edges of the foam seats, and you can see the panic setting in her eyes, too, now. “you think it’s over?” minjeong asks, her voice barely rising above the roar of the heat. “it’s just beginning!”
she gives you one last look, then turns on her heel, walking away from the car, away from you, running away from the chaos she started.
and in that heartbeat, the flicker from her gaze changes—it morphs into a realization. the spark of love flares within her eyes, a tiny flame that could either save you or plunge you into darkness. what will it be, you wonder?
but will it reach you before the flames burn everything to ash? time is slipping, and you’re left battling a love you once cherished, now clawing at it with words that barely feel like enough.
as the heat intensifies and the situation ticks dangerously close to a breaking point, you wonder if love, once passionate, can be rekindled, or if it is destined to blaze out in a storm of fury and flames. would it matter if you escape if the love is lost in the inferno?
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simonbrain · 9 months ago
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simon fucks up every good thing he manages to sink his teeth into because that's just who he is. he's haunted by nightmares of the torture he endured, of being cooped up in that fucking casket and clawing his way out. he can never unsee the image of his family laying on the ground, unfairly brutalised. it all swirls in his mind until all he can do about it is work his body until he can't think, until he's panting for just one gulp of air, until his heart and lungs feel like they're about to burst and his vision goes dark.
it's only expected that whenever the universe decides to grant him something nice, he ruins it. grips onto it too tightly and shatters it in one go.
it isn't his fault he was dealt the worst fucking hand. it isn't his fault that all the goodness that flows towards him like a peaceful stream suddenly becomes tainted, blackened by his own blood-stained hands because he doesn't know how to not squeeze the life out of anything. it isn't his fault that he tries so hard to hold the pieces of what's left of his heart together, only to cut his hands in the process.
he made peace with the fact that he will die alone a long time ago because no one saved him before, and no one's going to save him now.
but then you come into his life. and for some reason, you won't leave him be. every time he tries to push you away, you shove him over to make room for yourself. every time he puts his walls up higher than before, you leap over them with ease, even blowing them over with just a breath. every time he stomps down on the little bit of hope growing inside of him, you handle the poor withered thing with gentle hands and replant the roots.
your attention, your genuine care for him, the way you smile so sweetly at him as if he's the only person that matters—
it all makes his heart twinge. he doesn't think he's felt something so intense, so overwhelming since seeing the unfortunate demise of his family, but you've reintroduced a feeling to him.
something soft. tender. loving.
it's like you're not giving him a chance to ruin this one good thing too. like you're rewriting his fate of always ending up alone and inserting yourself beside him so that he has someone to lean on. someone to share his pain with. someone to keep fighting for.
he hasn't cried in years, but he thinks your endless love and devotion are enough to make him weep oceans.
it's not until much later in your relationship, when he has you under one arm, snoring away softly, that he realises he hasn't had a single nightmare since he met you.
he no longer feels weighed down by his grief and pain. you absorbed all that he had to give you and returned the love tenfold, more than he ever thought he was worthy of. you mended the shards of his soul back together and intertwined it with your own. you rekindled the flame in him that he thought went out a long time ago. you took this broken man who had lost everything, and you put him back together. no matter how grimy your hands got, no matter how violently he bit and snapped at you, you took him in and showed him what he needed his entire life.
simon feels an ache in his heart when he looks down at you, but it doesn't pain him. he welcomes it with open arms and allows it to wash over him like the gentle glow of the sun.
he has never felt so, so warm.
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taesanrot · 1 year ago
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[from the start] taesan x f!reader | 4.0k words college au, classmates to lovers, making out, alc consumption ++ terrible drunk decisions lmao, angst kinda, misunderstanding, mutual pining, fear of physical touch at first, everyone is just a little confused note. sorry this took literally so long to finish, i kept changing my mind on how i wanted it to go. fun fact the original idea for this fic was based on my real life situationship. hope u guys enjoy <3
you shouldn't be here. you should be sleeping off the alcohol flowing through you in your own bed, at your place. you shouldn't be here, pressed against taesan's chest, your mouth molded against his.
up until a few hours ago, han taesan was nothing but a fleeting memory. just someone your friends brought up once in a while to watch the way your cheeks flared up in embarrassment. he was part of the past, an unfortunate moment during your freshman year in university. your friends didn't know about the guilt that ate away at you every time the boy's name crossed your mind.
the two of you had met in english, deskmates who bonded over the frustrations that came with your shitty professor and endless essays. complaining about class turned into hushed whispers while the professor wasn't looking, adding each other on socials and snapping silly pictures back and forth, walking back to the dorms together. because... why not? taesan was cute and you couldn't help but chase the feeling that came with every interaction you two shared.
you never thought it would turn into anything, until your friends pointed out the obvious: he liked you. taesan liked you. the way your hair flowed so prettily, the way you smiled at all of his stupid pictures and the way your eyebrows furrowed at the professors nasally voice.
the two of you had an undeniable connection, and it ended with the two of you sitting on his bed watching a movie together on his roommate, sungho's, tv.
flirty glances and brushing hands turned into his hands running up your arms, breath hot on your neck as you tangled your fingers in his dark hair. having him like this should've felt like heaven, but instead your chest tightened and your body tensed, to the point where taesan pulled away from you, looking into your eyes and softly asking if this was okay, if you were okay.
you should've told him the truth, you were just scared. you hadn't done this before, not with someone who you felt so deeply for. you just wanted to slow down a bit. but instead you faked a smile and just said that you remembered something your friend had asked you to do, ignoring the stab in your chest as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you pulled away uncomfortably quick and left without another word. that was months ago.
the last you'd heard from him was hours after you left; he'd apologized profusely, saying he'd misread things and you tried and tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. you wished he could read your mind so you didn't have to face the fact that you were a coward and you'd hurt him in the process.
taesan thought that night would be the last time he'd see you. he could tell something was wrong, and he'd figured that you'd never want to see him again. but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to blame you, hate you, nothing.
...
"seriously? you're not mad.... at all?" sungho sat up in his bed, staring at his roommate in disbelief. "dude, she literally led you on and ghosted you." jaehyun chimed in, shaking his head at the younger boy. taesan shrugged and went back to tuning his guitar, covering up the sounds of his friends' scoffs with the vibrations of the strings he plucked. they thought he was hopeless, and secretly, he agreed.
...
after months of radio silence, it was safe to say that taesan was not expecting his phone to ping with a message from you.
you tried to move on from things with the music major, joking away your pain with your friends and going on dates with other guys. it worked for a few months, but eventually thoughts of han taesan caught up to you. they plagued your mind for days on end.
late at night, lying in your bed and staring at the ceiling, you wondered how things could've been different if you'd just told taesan the truth. you thought it was easier to just run away and pretend nothing happened between the two of you, that you'd be at peace if you just went back to before you knew he liked you, before you knew you liked him too. in the end, it just left you feeling empty.
you hadn’t ever met anyone like him, something you hadn’t ever admitted out loud. you couldn't go back to the way things were before, he'd left an imprint on your mind like no one else.
the thoughts you tried to smother finally came up to surface on a breezy saturday night as you were celebrating your friend, yunjin's, 21st birthday party at her apartment. after more than a few shots and the truly you split with yeri, you felt like you were on another planet. you stumbled over to the living room, falling onto the couch and leaning your head back and closing your eyes.
after a few minutes of sitting with your intoxicated state, you lazily unlocked your phone, scrolling through your instagram timeline, attention focusing in and out. that was until you came across a certain set of pictures. you squinted, reading the caption.
tae23san take my tears @psungho @myungj4e
pictured was none other than taesan, sitting on top of a car with his head tilted back to look at the sky.
sitting up slightly, you carefully scrolled through the dump of photos taesan had posted: him posing in the booth of a recording studio, he, sungho, and jaehyun in a photobooth, a candid of him playing the guitar, a mirror selfie with sungho, and a solo shot of him.
the last picture almost took your breath away; he posed with a hand ruffling his own hair as he pouted his lips.
all at once, you felt every emotion you fought so hard to drown explode in your heart. you missed him. so much. your head spun with sadness, guilt, and longing. you wanted to- no, you needed to see him.
it wasn't long before the thoughts popped in your head.
why don't i just text him?
whats the worst that could happen?
it was bad idea, a terrible idea truly. but you couldn't help yourself, you opened your contacts and found your chat with him faster than you could blink. you fumbled with the screen, trying to type out a cohesive message to the boy you so desperately wanted to see.
[1:53 a.m.]
y/n: taesnjsnnnnn
y/n: i miss you
y/n: i'm soryry
y/n: can i swee yuo? please
...
taesan was hoping to have a peaceful smoke with his friends. he, sungho, and jaehyun had spent the day working on a project for their advanced music production class, and were now sitting on the couch passing a blunt around, some rnb songs floating softly through the air.
taesan breathed in slowly, sucking in the laced smoke and exhaling it softly, humming at the warm feeling in his limbs. he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, laughing at the feeling of the vibrations against his thigh.
"this is done for." jaehyun mumbled before flicking off the ash and placing the end on the side table. taesan watched him with hooded eyes as he stood up to stretch out his limbs, making sungho and taesan giggle.
"i'm going to my room." sungho stood as well, murmuring a similar quip before meandering over to his door. "don't forget to turn off the lights, san."
taesan groaned in acknowledgement, letting his head fall back onto the couch. not really wanting to sleep, he wondered if he should watch a movie or make some food.
the boy sighed in boredom, pulling his phone out of his pocket languidly and swiping through his notifications.
his already blown out pupils grew even bigger at the sight of your name in his notifications. he'd never gotten around to deleting your number -- he figured there was no point.
his eyes focused on the words next to your name. 4 unopened messages. he rubbed his eyes slowly.
was he really that high right now? or did you really message him. taesan's gaze jumped over to the timestamp.
10 minutes ago.
he hurriedly clicked the notification, tapping his thigh with his fingers as the screen expanded to display your texts. you were clearly a bit out of it, taesan smiled at your typos. his vision seemed to laser focus on the one text you didn't misspell.
i miss you.
taesan couldn't say he didn't feel the same way. despite sungho and jaehyun's relentless nags, he thought about you more often than he'd like to admit.
somehow, he knew something was up the fateful night the two of you had hung out. that wasn't you, he just knew it. or so he told himself. he didn't want to be mad at you, he didn't want to hate you. he had hoped for this day so many times. the day you'd tell him you didn't mean it.
taesan's fingers moved across the screen slowly.
[2:08 a.m.]
han taesan: hey
han taesan: where are you?
...
from the moment you hit send, you had suddenly been more alert, thoughts racing a million miles a minute.
what do i do if he responds? is he even awake? he just posted, he has to be. god, i hope this works.
you'd taken the leap, there wasn't any going back.
you begrudgingly lifted yourself from the couch you were sitting on, looking for your friends so you could take your mind off of the messages you'd just sent.
walking over to the fridge, you grabbed a water bottle to help you sober up a bit.
eunchae and chaewon did a great job at keeping you from checking your phone every thirty seconds. you laughed at their horrific job at playing pictionary against two guys yunjin knew, anton and sohee.
your two friends were losing bad, and you smiled watching anton and chaewon bicker, anton giggled at chaewon's reddened face. you hoped you'd remember to tease her about it later.
your phone buzzed twice in your pocket and you held your breath as you fished it out and tapped the screen. face to face with taesan's messages, nearly shrieking, you quickly typed a response.
you paused for a second, calculating your next move. you really wanted to see him, praying to god that he was free and willing.
[2:09 a.m.]
y/n: yunjins place. in source complex
taesan: oh
taesan: what room
y/n: 204
taesan: im 3 floors up
taesan: in 511
y/n: can i come up
taesan: yeah of course
while you were definitely a little more sober than 15 minutes ago, you still fought to not squeal into your hand. looking around, you searched for yunjin so you could bid her goodbye.
...
mellow music still floating in the air of the living room, taesan dropped his phone in his lap. he let out a shaky sigh.
whether it was the weed or the fact that he was about to see you after what felt like forever, taesan was suddenly very nervous, wiping his hands on his pants and slowly standing from the couch.
rubbing his arms, he looked around the apartment, unsure of what to do until you got there. he assumed you'd take a bit to leave your friends apartment and make your way up to his. taesan hoped you'd make it okay; he wanted to come get you but was honestly way too fucking high to leave his apartment.
"i guess i'll go brush my teeth or something." the boy mumbled to himself, walking over to the bathroom to fix his hair and make sure he smelled okay.
...
stepping into the elevator, you looked at your reflection as the doors closed, almost forgetting to hit the button for the fifth floor in the midst of smoothing your hair down and fixing your slightly smeared eyeliner with your thumb.
closing your eyes, you lightly rubbed your temples in a sore attempt to bring yourself back to reality, and to emotionally prepare yourself.
you were seeing taesan again, finally.
you hid your blush from literally no one and smiled slightly into your hand as the elevator doors opened.
...
standing in front of the boy's door, the weight of the situation at hand truly hit you.
what exactly did you want from this?
what did you want from him?
if you ended up hurting him again you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself. huffing slightly, you brought a hand up to your neck to fiddle with your necklace and think.
your dazed yet racing thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door to taesan's apartment, door swinging back to reveal none other than the music major himself.
"hi" you smiled and spoke quietly.
even though he knew you were coming, the boy somehow still couldn't believe the sight in front of him. it was really you.
you looked as breathtaking as ever in his eyes, your hair a bit shorter than the last time he saw you. taesan caught himself and chuckled slightly, moving out of the way to make room for you.
"come in."
you blushed as you stepped into the apartment awkwardly, not sure what to do with yourself. the alcohol was still making your head spin, eyes adjusting slowly to the sight of taesan's living space. you slipped your shoes off quietly and followed the boy as he walked into the kitchen.
"do you want some water? or snacks? we have chips and fruit, unless sungho ate them all. i think we have some juice too...." taesan's high had clearly not worn off in the slightest, and the boy winced after realizing he rambled on about the contents of his pantry for a full 30 seconds.
you couldn't have cared less, eyes focused on how pretty his hair looked brushed down in his face. making eye contact with him, you noticed the red tint to them, giggling quietly.
"we also have -- are you even listening?" taesan smiled at your starry eyes as you shook your head and laughed.
"god y/n- okay let's just go sit down." he watched you eagerly turn around and nearly skip towards his living room couch, settling right in the middle of the sofa.
the couch cushions were soft as they rubbed slightly against the exposed skin of your legs. shivering slightly, you wished you'd worn a bit more than just a crop top and denim shorts.
your gaze traced the lines of the wood on his coffee table, thoughts lost and scattered. you were just as blown away at the sight of him as he was of you. you recalled the sight of his larger hands shoved in the pockets of his zip up, wondering what it would feel like to have them wrapped around your own.
you wriggled your socked toes to a beat only you could hear, trying to take your mind off of the nervousness flowing through your veins.
"here." you looked up quickly to see taesan standing in front of you, about an arms length away. "i brought you some water."
taesan bit his lip to keep himself from smiling at the sight of you on the sofa. he looked around awkwardly for a second, not sure where to sit -- you were in the middle of the couch and choosing either side of the sofa would leave him sitting directly next to you.
"why are you still standing? come sit." you tilted your head at him and patted the spot to your right softly, smiling up at the nervous boy.
sighing out in relief, taesan plopped down next to you and settled into the corner of the sofa. you turned slightly so you could face him as he spoke, glass of water abandoned on the coffee table.
"do you wanna watch a movie?" he asked.
"is it okay to turn on the tv this late?" you shyly responded
taesan's ears turned slightly red in embarrassment. he 100% forgot about his two other roommates sleeping soundly in their own rooms.
while they probably wouldn't mind the noise, taesan didn't want to have to explain why you of all people were in their living room at this very moment.
"if you're okay with it, we can watch something in my room, i can play it on my laptop." taesan spoke.
your cheeks burned slightly at the idea of seeing the boy's room but you hummed in agreement, standing up quickly. the sudden movement caused you to stumble a bit. taesan stood up after you, wrapping a hand around your arm in an attempt to steady you.
"are you okay?" he turned you to face him fully, hands resting lightly on your shoulders as he looked at you worriedly.
your breath hitched at the mere inches of space between the two of you. taesan's gaze left you speechless, and your eyes searched his face before landing on his lips.
for every minute that had passed since you sent that first fateful text message, the anticipation had been eating you alive. deciding you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled yourself up by the collar of the boy's hoodie and pressed your lips against his.
his mouth was plush and unmoving against yours and you let yourself close your eyes and savor the feeling for a moment before lowering yourself back onto your heels.
opening your eyes, you mentally geared yourself for the awkward conversation you feared was about to ensue. taesan, on the other hand, barely gave you a moment to breathe, chasing your lips the second they detached from his. slipping a hand behind your neck, he tilted his face down and sealed his lips over yours once again.
taesan's mind raced as he bit your bottom lip, wondering what this was going to lead to and if he'd regret it. he decided he couldn't care less when he felt you tilt your head to the side and push your tongue in his mouth.
you craned your face upward and grabbed the sides of his sweatshirt tightly, like he might disappear if you let go of him. you needed more of him.
you broke your lips from his for a split second to ask where his room was. taesan mumbled something you couldn't hear before pulling you by your shoulders. the boy's mouth didn't leave yours for a second, only pulling away to push his door open.
you opened your eyes slowly, looking up to meet the taller boy's hooded gaze. you turned around and took in the sight in front of you. taesan's bed was in the corner of the room, posters hung above a small desk. you smiled at the tangles of wires on the floor, leading to a small speaker system and bass guitar.
"gonna go turn off the lights and check the door." taesan's voice rasped. you hummed in acknowledgement and stepped forward into the room slowly.
you walked over and climbed onto the boy's bed, bringing your legs up so you could hug your knees. staring at your socked feet, your mind was completely blank. when taesan came back you were absentmindedly fixing your hair and shirt, not even noticing the boy's return.
"are you okay?" taesan asked softly.
you looked up to see his eyes on you, smiling at the way hands were politely tucked behind his back. he was nervous, hoping he didn't overstep or make you uncomfortable. taesan didn't think he could handle watching you run out his door a second time.
"okay?" you tilted your head in confusion.
"with this... being here with me." your heart panged with sadness, feeling so guilty for how you made him feel before. you wanted to make it up to him.
"i am. i want this. i promise, taesan." you watched taesan slowly process your words though his wavering high, smile forming on his face. his hands came up to push your legs down, and you scooted towards him, giggling and wrapping your legs are his standing figure.
taesan had abandoned his hoodie in the living room, now in a loose t-shirt. your hands scrunched the fabric of the graphic tee as you pulled the boy towards you again. taesan complied without a word, bending down to meet your awaiting lips. you moved your lips against his languidly, savoring each swipe of his tongue against yours.
taesan pushed your body backwards so he could climb on the bed with you. you scooted back until you were pressed against the headboard, only staying there for a second before taesan pulled you onto his lap.
his lips went to your neck, pressing soft kisses and grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin. with each kiss, bite, and swipe of his tongue against you, taesan could feel you practically melting into his lap. eyes screwed shut, your head leaned back to further expose your neck and your fingers tugged at the boy's hair.
you slightly pulled taesan's face away from you, bringing your hands to gingerly cup his face. his eyes were slightly glossed over as you placed a wet kiss on his lips.
the last traces of your sobriety were thrown out the window, both of you drunk off each other. taesan thought you looked like an angel, bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. your eyes formed crescents as you smiled at the boy, and he swore he almost stopped breathing.
your hand came up to rest over his that was still cupping your face, intertwining your fingers. bringing them closer to your face, you opened taesan's and placed a featherlight kiss in the center of his palm.
"what was that for?" taesan mumbled in between giggles as he watched you continue to play with his fingers.
"thank you." your voice wavered slightly, eyes looking up to meet his nervously. you laughed at the puzzled look on his face before continuing.
"for giving me a second chance and letting me come over." you sighed shakily under taesan's gaze. "i missed you, a lot."
"probably not as much as i missed you." taesan replied softly, squeezing your hands and tilting your chin up to meet your wide eyes.
the moment that passed between the two of you was long and drawn out, you savored the feeling of weight being lifted off your chest. trapped in his eyes and tucked in his arms, you couldn't fathom missing the chance to have han taesan like this.
as the thick silence dissolved and taesan's aching lips found yours again, the two of you knew staying away from each other was ill-fated from the start.
[bonus — 10:54 AM]
blinking the sleep from your eyes, you lazily searched taesan's fridge for a water bottle. as you shut the door, a loud crash abruptly pulled you out of your sleepy daze. coming face to face with myung jaehyun, you let out a yelp of surprise.
"no fucking way." he spoke. a bowl of dry cereal lay at his feet, contents now strewn across the kitchen tiles.
ears turning red, you realized how insane you must look: your hair was untied and messily brushed down and you were wearing nothing but an old tshirt and some boxers taesan had given you.
"what happe- oh god." taesan said from behind jaehyun, having rushed over to the kitchen to check on you. it was safe to say the last thing he expected was to see you and his roommate staring open mouthed at each other. flustered, taesan opened his mouth to explain, but jaehyun interrupted him with a loud sigh.
"fuck you tae, now i owe woonhak 20 bucks."
...
taglist: @iweirdthingsblog @yjwkisser @sulkygyu @enhyven
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bxtxnx · 3 days ago
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the twelfth.
Planets in the twelfth house can be some of the most challenging placements in a natal chart. In today's world, where everything is getting increasingly difficult, expensive and you are supposed to hustle to succeed, having planets in the twelfth house is like trying to drive with the handbrake on.
You try your hardest, but you can't achieve your goal.
You try to meet someone and revive your nonexistent social or romantic life, but people don't even notice you, as if you don't exist.
You have applied to over a thousand of jobs in the last six months, but you don't even get a single interview, much less a job.
You work hard, you hustle and you do everything right, so why is nothing working?
And then you see the dreaded twelfth house placements - Mars in the twelfth house, Venus in the house of loss, the ruler of your tenth house of career in the house of passivity.
Everyone believes that if you work hard enough your efforts will be rewarded. No hard work goes unnoticed by the universe or the higher power you believe in. Bullshit. No one knows better how fruitless hard work can be than a person with placements in the twelfth house.
But then again, no one goes with the flow better than the one with planets in the twelfth house.
Once you let go of the goals and the tireless and endless hard work, pursuing this and that and just start living and enjoying yourself, then everything flows to you. You don't seek a job, but a great opportunity comes to you. You don't go out of your way to meet people, but they are the ones coming to you on their own two feet, wanting to stick around you.
When you stop worrying, when you stop trying hard and just live your life and mind your own business, everything finds its way to you without you having to lift a finger. Things develop and happen in your life in weird and even miraculous ways.
As someone with twelfth house placements, you can't fight for things. You just let whatever is best come to you. And then the twelfth house is no longer the house of loss. It becomes the house of miracles and divine intervention. ☽
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astrologydray · 2 months ago
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The Sign That Holds Your Past Life Karma ur South Node: 2 of 3 karma mini series
Your South Node is where your soul has been before. It’s comfortable, familiar—maybe even too familiar. It’s the habits, fears, and patterns from your past life that still shape you today. If you ever feel like you’re stuck in cycles you can’t break, like you’re being pulled toward something even when you know it’s not good for you—that’s your South Node energy taking over. This sign represents the strengths you mastered in a past life, but also the traps you’re meant to outgrow in this one. This is why certain things feel so easy for you, while others feel like an uphill battle. Your South Node is your default mode—but your destiny lies in moving toward your North Node, the sign directly opposite it.
Your South Node Sign and what it says About Your Past Life
♈️ South Node in Aries:
❣️In a past life, you were independent, a warrior, maybe even a leader. But you may have been too focused on yourself. This life is about learning partnership, compromise, and deep connection with others.❣️
♉️ South Node in Taurus:
❣️You mastered stability and comfort in a past life. But did you get too attached? Now, you’re meant to embrace change, take risks, and explore the deeper mysteries of life.❣️
♊️ South Node in Gemini:
❣️Your past life was filled with knowledge, curiosity, and endless conversations. But did you ever go deep? This life is about finding meaning, purpose, and trusting your inner wisdom.❣️
♋️ South Node in Cancer:
❣️You lived for home, family, and emotional security. But did you forget yourself? This life is about stepping into your power, embracing ambition, and carving your own path.❣️
♌️ South Node in Leo:
❣️In a past life, you were the center of attention, the performer, the ruler. But did you rely too much on validation? Now, you’re meant to shift the focus from ‘me’ to ‘we’—to lead through collaboration.❣️
♍️ South Node in Virgo:
❣️You lived a life of structure, routine, and perfectionism. But did you forget to trust the universe? This life is about surrendering control, embracing spirituality, and letting things flow.❣️
♎️ South Node in Libra:
❣️Your past life was about relationships—keeping the peace, putting others first. But did you lose your own identity? This time, you’re here to reclaim your independence and put yourself first.❣️
♏️ South Node in Scorpio:
❣️You experienced intensity, transformation, maybe even betrayal in a past life. But did you learn to let go? Now, you’re here to embrace peace, stability, and the beauty of life’s simple pleasures.❣️
♐️ South Node in Sagittarius:
❣️You were the seeker, the traveler, the philosopher. But did you ever stop? This life is about grounding yourself, building something real, and mastering the details.❣️
♑️ South Node in Capricorn:
❣️In your past life, you carried heavy responsibilities. You were disciplined, maybe even powerful. But did you forget to live? This time, you’re here to soften, to embrace emotion, and to nurture yourself.❣️
♒️ South Node in Aquarius:
❣️You were the visionary, the rebel, the one who changed the world. But did you neglect your own heart? Now, you’re here to embrace personal expression, creativity, and the magic of being seen.❣️
♓️ South Node in Pisces:
❣️You lived as a dreamer, a mystic, a soul deeply connected to the unseen. But did you ever fully exist in the real world? This life is about taking action, setting boundaries, and turning dreams into reality.❣️
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albamelody · 2 months ago
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I Matched with My old Teacher on Tinder… and Fucked Him
Chapter 1 - Swipe
I was in my favorite place to procrastinate—curled sideways across my unmade bed, laptop abandoned in favor of my phone, thumb lazily flicking through an endless gallery of half‑smiles and would‑be soulmates. My tiny apartment smelled of bergamot tea and the croissants I hadn’t bothered to finish. Tinder had become my bedtime story lately: a soothing, mindless rhythm of nope, nope, maybe, nope.
Then the screen froze on a face I hadn’t seen in eight years, and the breath snagged right out of me.
Mr. Adrian Hayes.
The name still triggered muscle‑memory flutters in my stomach, the way theorems used to whenever he leaned over my desk to correct them. Back then he’d been thirty‑two, brilliant, devastating in a gentle‑professor sort of way—tall and long‑limbed, crisp shirts rolled to the elbow so you could admire his forearms without getting caught by the gossip patrol at the back of the room. Geometry had never been my calling, but I sat in the front row every day senior year, pushing thick‑rimmed glasses up my nose while I fantasized about tracing the veins in his hands.
And now he was on my screen—older, impossibly more handsome, dark‑blond hair threaded with silver at the temples. Same quiet smile that said I already know the answer, but I’d rather help you find it yourself. He wore a faded blue T‑shirt, an artfully chaotic bookcase behind him. A soft halo from a dormer window made his irises glow paler than I remembered, like the inside of a glacier.
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Below his photo, a neon‑blue symbol pulsed. Super Like.
For two full seconds, I just stared, heart ramping in my chest. Was this some cosmic glitch? Had the universe pocket‑dialed my teenage crush? I forced myself to breathe, studied the rest of his profile—age forty‑one now, still living in the city, “secondary‑school educator, amateur woodworker, collector of bad puns.” His bio ended with a single line: Here for something real. My lips twisted up. Ever the understated idealist.
I hovered over the red X, because nostalgia had a tricky way of glamorizing things that ought to stay in the past. But the truth was, I’d never fully shaken the memory of him—his patience, his voice, his rare startling laugh. Even after a tangle of mediocre adult relationships, the idea of being admired by him still sent a low hum through my core.
My thumb slid right with a decisive flick.
It’s a match! confetti exploded across the screen. I squeaked—an embarrassing, almost squeal—and clapped a hand over my mouth, as if someone might hear.
A message bubble popped up before I could compose a greeting.
MrHayes: Well, this is the nicest surprise I’ve had all week. Do you remember me, or am I flattering myself?
The laugh that burst out of me felt absurdly giddy. I tucked a stray curl behind my ear and typed back.
Me: Hard to forget the guy who convinced me that proofs could be poetic. Me: Hi, Mr. Hayes.
While I waited, I thought about erasing the formal title—Adrian was in his bio, after all—but my phone buzzed first.
MrHayes: Adrian, please. And the feelings were mutual—you made teaching theorems feel like a flirtation with language.
Heat flooded my cheeks. Mutual? I sat up, spine against the headboard, pulse skipping. Somewhere a tiny voice warned me not to read too much into nostalgic niceties. I ignored it.
Me: So the rumors are true: teachers do have favorite students. Me: I always guessed, but it would’ve been scandalous to ask. Adrian: We’ll keep it our secret then. How have the last years treated you?
I told him in quick brushstrokes—graphic design degree, freelance gigs, an apartment barely large enough for my shoes, a mild addiction to cold brew. He volleyed back with stories of teaching stints in Ireland and Croatia, a younger brother’s wedding, the decision to return home because “the city feels different when you’re old enough to choose it.” His phrasing made my chest tighten.
The chat flowed so easily it was dangerous—memes about hexagons (“Bestagons are the true friendsagons,” he quipped), recollections of high‑school pranks, the time I’d insisted the golden ratio must secretly run the universe and he’d given me extra credit for “philosophical creativity.” Every so often his words slipped into a register that vibrated just below polite.
Adrian: I always admired how fearless you were presenting your project—face flushed, eyes bright, determined to prove symmetry was sexy. Me: Confession: my face was bright because my teacher looked good enough to make Euclid blush.
There, the line crossed. No polite misinterpretation left. A tremor shot through me as his typing dots appeared… then vanished. They returned, vanished again. My nerves sang. Finally:
Adrian: You just made me wish we weren’t limited to text.
A beat later:
Adrian: Coffee tomorrow? Or tonight, if your schedule’s flexible…
I laughed out loud at the screen, unbelieving. Coffee at 9 p.m. was ridiculous and impulsive. Which, apparently, was exactly my mood.
Me: Tonight. There’s a place I know that makes dangerous affogatos. Twenty minutes? Adrian: I’ll be there in fifteen. I was always an eager student.
____________________________________
To be continued...
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iris-qt · 1 year ago
Text
𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚒𝚘
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🫧 ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
🫧 ʙɢ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ: ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ!
🫧 ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ
🫧 ᴀ/ɴ: ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪᴄ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴏɴᴇ. ɪ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴜʏꜱ’ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴏɴᴇ!
🫧 ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴜɴᴡɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ɢᴏʀɢᴇᴏᴜꜱ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɪɴ ɪᴛᴀʟʏ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ᴅ ʀᴜɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇxɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ: ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ
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Azure blue skies and endless summer breeze tails you through the rolling green countryside of San Gimignano, Italy. This was true, pure bliss. A flow of relaxation that you haven’t felt since…Merlin knows when. The stress of endless exams and finals, everlasting prefect duties, and bickering with your horrid nemesis really left a mark; as represented by your unrelenting dark circles and deep forehead lines.
But at least all of that was giving way to the Italian atmosphere and it left behind a happy girl that would donate a kidney to spend her entire summer here. Unfortunately you were only visiting for a week before school began once more; your final year. This brought a sense of dread to your heart as you would miss the enchanting castle. Your second home.
You pushed that aside as you zoomed through the countryside of this ravishing country on your cute little teal Vespa. Truth be told you’d never driven a muggle vehicle before, but there’s always a first time for everything.
And so your lack of experience with muggle vehicles was the cause of you not being aware that gas has to be filled. You thought the meter getting closer to 0 represented the dissipation of your happy mood as you were, per usual, plaguing yourself with paranoid and pessimistic thoughts. The sudden shuddering of the Vespa made you lose balance and you began veering off track, you and your precious vehicle zooming down a hill with the sheer force of gravity. You screamed for dear life, and, at last, landed in a shallow pond with an enormous splash.
You bobbed up, gasping for air, and scrambled out of the lake quite ungracefully, summer outfit ruined and soaking wet. And suddenly, you heard a scarily familiar, devilish chuckle that just so happened to find your tragic predicament amusing: your mood as drenched as your clothes.
As you slowly glanced up trembling, not knowing if your shaking was from the water, shock, pure rage, or all three, you made direct eye contact with a certain boy musing at your tragedy. His eyes were overflowing with humor as he was leaning against a tree, his tanned legs crossed over each other. He seemed to be reading a book which he put down as he had found something better worth his attention. He gracefully stands up, a complete contrast from how you scrambled out of the pond, much to your annoyance.
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, angioletto mio?” He smirks.
“Nott,” you scoffed. “Small world…or cruel fate,” you stand there, dripping wet, arms spread out like a martyr.
Of course you knew the insufferable Theodore Nott was Italian and often visited family here, but you didn’t think you’d be subjected to his presence in such a big country, especially in the less populated countryside. It was truly just cruel fate that brought this spawn of satan before your eyes.
“I didn’t know you were that desperate to see me,” Theodore cocks his head to the side, quite enjoying this arrangement. “Risking your life on a muggle vehicle zooming to my town.”
You roll your eyes, and if you were in a cartoon universe, trust that there would be steam coming out of your ears.
“Trust me Nott. I had no intention to run into a walking headache on my vacation.”
The insufferable git kept smiling, moving closer now, standing right in front of you so you could smell the usual dizzying scent of sandalwood and pine. Summer edition Theo had a hint of citrus mingled in with his intoxicatingly annoying scent.
“I already got you soaking wet, now you just have to get naked,” he laughed with the most disgustingly smug look on his face that you almost slapped off.
“Are you done?” You glared at him, ready to storm off and free yourself from the torment of his presence.
He shrugged, looking you over.
“Need help drying off?”
“I need help out of this conversation.”
“Oh stop, y/n, you can do better than that,” he grinned
You sigh very well aware you had no other option. You hold out your arms and shut your eyes waiting for his casting of the Hot Air Charm. Since you had resolved to live the simple muggle life for this vacation, your wand was locked in a vault at your hotel room.
Theo laughs, “Are you waiting for a kiss, principessa?”
You open your eyes, confused. “No, I’m waiting for you to dry me off like you said, idiot.”
He laughs again shrugging and says, “I don’t carry my wand around my domain, there’s no need.”
“Then, pray do tell me, Nott, what was your plan in helping me?”
He gives you the most shit-eating grin and grabs your hand, scaring you a bit, then begins pulling you up another grassy, verdant hill: one that isn’t hiding a body of water behind it. You have the urge to resist, but just give in. The drop from your adrenaline-rush you’d been maintaining for the past 3 days had collapsed, causing you to come down with an attitude of resolve. He dragged you up the hill, your wet sandals making squelching sounds, each one demeaning you more and more. You hated this shift in power where the perfect git was overshadowing you. You hated it. You hated him. I think.
“So why were you in the countryside? Other than wanting to see me so badly, of course.” He looks behind him and shoots his watercolor poison into your soul as he makes that unblinking eye contact. Another thing on the meter-long list of things you despise about him.
“I was in a self-deprecating mood and decided to ruin my record streak of relaxation by finding you,” you deadpanned as you rolled your eyes for extra affect.
“Y/N relaxing? You must be lying.”
He chuckled a bit as you two stopped at the top of the vast hill, looking down to a meadow of wildflowers. They glowed like colorful jewels in the blinding, comforting summer sun.
“What’re you gonna do, push me off?” You smirked, half wishing he’d do so. Maybe this was all a nightmare. A beautiful, lush, tinged with the familiar scent of Theo nightmare.
What you didn’t expect, however, was him saying:
“Precisely.”
And with a surprisingly gentle tug, he pulled you down on the top of the hill, pushed you back in a laying position before you could protest, and quite literally pushed you down the hill. You screamed as you, for the second time that day, gave all free will up to gravity, rolling down the hill at a crazy speed. You knew Nott was your unproclaimed but painfully obvious nemesis but you never thought he’d attempt murder. You finally stopped and lay there, sprawled on your back, heaving from the rush. It was kind of…fun?
Theo rolled down right next to you, laughing, as he sat upright. There was grass in his curly, brunette hair that you couldn’t help but reach out to pluck. He looked away quite shyly. Did your eyes deceive you, or did he just blush? You must have heat stroke. Good thing you had your wet clothes to keep you cool: they were significantly drier now.
You stand up and Theo starts laughing in a way you’ve never heard him laugh before. It was almost…endearing?
You put your hands on your hips teasingly and ask, “What? Do I have something on my face?”
He chuckles affectionately. “Mio angioletto, you have something…everywhere.” He bursts into laughter again. “Beware grass woman rising from the Italian hills,” he gasps through his fits of laughter.
You couldn’t help but smile so wide; his happiness was almost as contagious as his teasing.
You look down and realize the grass was sticking all over your outfit, covering you in verdant greeness. There was an itching sensation bubbling to your skin, but you ignored it. You couldn’t help but join in with his laughter as you could imagine you looked like green Chewbacca.
“Is this your sick way of tar and feathering me, Nott?”
He recovers from his laughter and stands up with you, peeling a wet blade of grass from your cheek.
“Alas, you have uncovered my motives,” he teases, grinning.
“Well, your actual motives didn’t work. I’m still sopping wet.” You wringe out the side of your shirt for dramatic affect as it produces a downpour of water.
“There’s more to my motives, mio angioletto. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” He grasps your hand again with a beautiful look on his glowing face and pulls you up to do it all over again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Until the sun is caressing the distant hills, getting ready for its nightly departure. The sky is painted shades of teal and purple; still bright but just so. The breeze is still gentle, and so is Theo’s hold on your hand, as he guides you back to his tree by the wretched pond.
Don’t ask yourself what you and him were at the moment. Don’t ask yourself how years of rivalry and pranks. Of stress related to the both of your never-relenting efforts to beat the other. Don’t ask how that all faded away, as you sat in the setting sun.
Unfortunately, it isn’t in your nature to just ignore logic. And Theo knew it. So he distanced himself from you in light of the passing moment of rolling down flower dotted hills, letting go of your hand. It was as if an igniting flame in your heart had been stifled. He sat across from you by the tree. A silence falling between you two.
The slight itching you had felt earlier had been slowly increasing, and as the fun fell away, it began grabbing your attention. The feeling was in your throat now…something wasn’t right. And that’s when you remembered something that Theo’s warm presence had melted away from your mind. As if your brain had tricked itself to forget about this important fact to permit you and Theo’s fun. You were allergic to wildflowers. If exposed to them for a long time? Horribly allergic.
You started coughing and then choking, pointing to your neck to alert Theo to the problem. His eyes widened as he realized what was happening…he had noticed your uncharacteristically red skin, but he had dismissed it by thinking it was the sun’s doing. How could he overlook this?
Your choking grew louder as you fell onto the grass, Theo scrambled around crazily not knowing what to do in his initial panic.
But then he remembered
He pulled out his wand and cast a healing spell which would diminish every affect of an allergic reaction. You started being able to breathe again and your throat cleared, along with your skin returning to its original color and texture. You were gasping in shock, slightly embarrassed that you had been in such pathetic situations in front of Theodore twice today. You were both holding each others’ arms and breathing deeply. You recovered slightly, attempting to lighten the tense mood.
“Well, if your true motive was to kill me, Nott, I’d say you almost succeeded.” You let out a weak, unconvincing laugh.
“I..I am so sorry, y/n, I genuinely didn’t know..” he looked crestfallen. More shaken than you in fact. Wait a minute…
“Hold on,” you raised an eyebrow, your shock of almost dying completely gone and replaced with a new shock. “I thought you said you didn’t have your wand?”
Theo’s eyes widened sheepishly and he grinned, looking as guilty as ever.
“Ok listen before you throw a fit-“
“I don’t throw fits, I diplomatically argue.”
“Before you throw a tantrum, let me explain.” Theo runs his fingers through his hair looking nervous, and, for the first time, failing to make eye contact.
“I just…I knew you’d leave if I just dried you off. You only stayed because you needed help and, well…” he sighs.
“Well?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about you all summer, y/n. I lay awake all night and I day dream all day. I swear I even saw you in the stars..” he gives a nervous, strained laugh.
“You never leave my thoughts, but I was sure it was just because I had to prove myself. To beat you. But you didn’t even leave my brain after school ended. You haunt me every day. When I saw you I thought I was hallucinating, like, genuinely.” He runs his hand through his hair, looking the most vulnerable he’s ever looked.
You look at him, eyes blazing with emotions you had denied yourself. Emotions that fought to be seen but you always pushed them back. You couldn’t fight back anymore. What were you even fighting against? God, you had some serious issues.
“And so you lied to make me stay?”
Theo nodded, looking to the side, up at the darkening sky.
“Maybe it was the universe that brought me here, because what are the fucking odds?”
You both laughed at that, eyes shining despite the escaping light around you.
“Theo, in my last 3 days I’ve been in your beautiful home country, I’ve visited so many places. The Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon, the Uffizi Galleries. So many amazing places, and I’ve experienced the most inspiring ordeals. But today was, by far, my favorite day.”
Theo regains his composure after hearing that, playfully judging her with his shoulder .
“Because of me, hm?”
You roll your eyes, looking away.
“Say it, principessa..” he prompted, gently holding your face and focusing it towards him.
You dramatically sigh and admit, “Yes, Theodore Nott. Because of you.”
He smiled the most breathtaking smile. If only you could capture a picture of it, but unfortunately your camera went down with the Vespa. You lay your head on his shoulder and squeeze your eyes shut, so that his bright smile could be engraved into your mind. Definitely a core memory.
After many moments of comfortable silence, Theo perks up.
“Oh! By the way, dolcezza, I realized I said the pickup line wrong when you struggled out of the swamp.”
You rolled your eyes at his impertinence and said, “First of all, it’s a pond, Theo. And second of all I did NOT struggle. I emerged like Aphrodite in a shell.”
“Ok my little swamp monster,” he annoyingly nuzzled his nose into your hair as you fought to hold back a giggle.
“Okok let me say the line.”
“Go ahead, Theo.”
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
You cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Because you have the face of un angelo.”
He grinned his shit-eating grin as you pretended to retch at the line. Jumping up with the fireflies around you, you tagged Theo, reigniting that competitive streak you both so closely shared. You both laughed like maniacs as you raced up the hill again, fireflies dancing around you in a waltz.
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