#and the economy was already in shambles by the time i signed up

[scatmaan]

i was a webkinz kid bc neopets was too complicated for me

[seth-shitposts]

Bit of a rant 🥲 mostly related to the work field and people's bs.

Anyone who says no one wants to work anymore SHUT THE FUCK UP. /not kindly.

I'm not even going to be touching on the fact that a lot of jobs aren't paying livable wages or that many people have to work multiple jobs just to still not make ends meet. I've seen many people touch on that multiple times.

What I am going to be throwing against the wall because I am so frustrated I might start crying as I'm desperately trying to figure out what a cover letter is and what I need to put on it that isn't already in my fucking resume AND to tailor it to the specific company I'm applying to JUST to use this specific cover ONCE for job that isn't even about office type work (I'm trying to apply to be a waiter. A waiter, and they're asking for the whole nineyards for me explain why I am suited for the position. A position that I genuinely LOVE to do. I utterly adore it.). I will also be touching on the process as well.

I am very much in the younger end of the spectrum of the work force. And the people I work with, work for, and serve on a day to day basis are all very much not.

A common thing I've had to hear people say CONTINIOUSLY is how kids don't want to work these days. How young adults don't want to work. No one wants to work. No one has any ambitions or work ethic. They don't care. How there are all these places desperately trying to fill positions but no one is applying. Because the young ones don't want to work. They're lazy. Want things handed to them.

These are all things that have been said to me, most of time with an added "You're different, you're so good, you're such a hard worker unlike *blah blah blah Ignorant babble and using the younger generation as a scape goat rather than looking at the shambles of our economy and how we got here in the first place with any sort of critical thought*".

And it pisses me off every time. I get livid over it. Obviously not to their face, I have a lot of repressed anger. This just adds to it.

Because not only is there the consistent issues that are common and I've heard talked about such as these jobs literally are not paying the bills.

But in my personal experience

Who. Who is desperately hiring?

Because it obviously isn't any of the places I've been spending my time desperately applying to.

Back in the beginning of the pandemic, we had spent MONTHS applying to DOZENS of places.

Not a single one of them got back to us.

We were pretty much ghosted. Never even got the rejection. Just silence.

The only reason why we were able to get a second job is because someone who was a friend of our parent's put in a word for us to a local restaurant that happened to be hiring. And we had that for a while.

And now we find ourselves in the EXACT same situation of we only have one part time now and desperately need another. Not just for bills but also because we are experiencing health problems that need to be taken care of but the insurance doesn't want to cover shit so it's going to be HUNDREDS of dollars out of pocket. And I can't have any of these appointments until we have another source of income.

So for almost the past two months, we have been applying to places and applying to places. Trying to find work that we could feasibly and realistically do as a disabled person.

I've been told about how the process used to work that was much more across the board than it is now. I've been told by older people in the workforce, people I work with, for, and serve that it used to be simpler. If a place was hiring, you would go in and say you were interested and pretty much hired on the spot.

Every job I've had so far has been like that. But I can't find any other places that do that. If I could, I would not be having the issues I am right now.

I have to go online. If there's a place with a hiring sign, we are usually always directed to "go apply online or text [blank] to [number]".

And then there's the online application. Sometimes there's meaningless questions that don't have anything to do with the jobs. I've had to do personality tests. Tailor and retailor the resume to fit more into the specific companies.

I've been studying relentless on how to perform and have been scripting for the interview process. Because in the interview process they basically just want us to give them our resume in a verbal format. And my responses have to be in what is considered a timely manner. Which is so immensely difficult for us because we have an absolute horrid delay in our processing. It's a major part of our disability, as is the fact that we have an immense issue with coming up with on-the-spot verbal responses. It's a mix of situational mutism and other speech and communication difficulties that come along with being autistic. So we have to put much more effort into preparing and trying to guess every possible thing that may come up.

I cannot tell you how much I hate the "tell me about a time when" questions. I would much rather just tell them how I would handle the situations they are asking for. Because of our amnesiac barriers, we have a limited amount of memories. And there aren't enough memories in the collective access for us to be able to answer these questions the way they want us to answer them. And not even to mention the fact that because we are on a the younger end of the work force spectrum, we havent had any of these experiences in the 6 years we've worked to be able to answer some of these scenarios.

So that's another thing I'm having to work on scripting.

And even then I feel like I'm having to partially lie in these responses because I don't have memories to answer the "tell me a time when". I'm having to make up scenarios so I can accurately answer what we would realistically do in these scenarios and that is the proper response they are looking for by asking a vague question that does not imply in the slightest what they are really asking. And I have to go over these again and again and again beforehand so that if I'm not the one fronting, at least a good enough portion of it made it into the collective memory access for which ever co-pilot is fronting to be able to float them along convincingly enough that we answered the question correctly and as accurately as possible.

And I have to put in all that effort just to STILL either not get a response and be left with no way of reaching out to check in OR do get a response of "we appreciate your interest, but we've selected someone else :)"

And now I'm trying to figure out what the fuck a cover letter is, write one out, and add it to the application for a local restaurant chain so I can finish the application.

A cover letter that is going to be used once. That, while may help with making my application stand out and may help convince them that I'm a good fit and I am exactly what they're looking for- ultimately still doesn't have anything to do with the job itself. It's a pointless addition and feels like busy work for a job that we still might not even get fucking hired for no matter how much I want to the job, am good at the job, need the job, am exactly what they're looking for, or how hard I work into trying to get the job.

And I have to rinse and repeat this same process CONSTANTLY. It's fucking exhausting.

So yeah. Every time I hear someone over the age of 45 say the phrase "no one wants to work anymore" with their whole chest, I very much do want to shove my foot up their ass.

And then there's the fact that I do take pride in my work. I pride myself over our reliability and our work ethic. When we have a job, we seek to fulfill that job out, do exceptional work. Do our best to commit to a successful outcome, to help our coworkers. Make sure they're also taken care of. Help in making ensuring a shift runs smoothly. And I am personally thrilled when a shift gets busy. I love the workload and the speed that ties in with our accuracy.

So when someone will look my in my eyes and try and imply that I'm simply just not trying hard enough. Yeah. Let's take this outside after my shift, bestie. Tell me about how I've never worked a day in my life and have no work ethic.

[thetoxicgamer]

Zekken and Sentinels Already in VCT Mid-Season Form With the Ultimate Disrespect on Tsm

Heading into the VALORANT Champions Tour’s first year of franchising, few teams are as interesting as Sentinels. Following a disappointing end to last year’s VCT season in which the team slumped out of Berlin and failed to even qualify for Champions, Sentinels blew up their roster and signed an intriguing mix of players for 2023. Keeping superstar Tenz in the squad, Sentinels added key members from both the 2022 XSET team that impressed at Champions, as well as 2022 world champions and former LOUD stars Sacy and pANcada. With a distinct mix of North American and South American talent, many wondered how Sentinels would fare going into what might be the most competitive era of pro VALORANT yet. At Ludwig and Tarik’s Invitational today, it didn’t take zekken long to demonstrate just how ready Sentinels are for the new Americas league. Needing only one more round win to take the opening map against TSM but with their team economy in shambles, zekken decided to get aggressive on Neon. He slid into two TSM members, NaturE and Hazed, who were making their way into the A site from Dish just as the pair of them were flashed. With Sheriff in hand, zekken managed to dispatch the blinded NaturE after a few errant shots. But having used up the bullets in his gun’s magazine and with no time to reload as Hazed regained vision, zekken made the only play that seemed available to him: Run directly at Hazed with his knife out. What happened next is the stuff that we usually think only happens in lower ELO games. With only eight health remaining, zekken sprinted forward and dispatched Hazed with the knife, avoiding multiple point-blank Phantom shots in the process. The kill effectively ended the map, as the rest of Sentinels collapsed on the remaining TSM players and took home Fracture by a score of 13-8. And the casters gave voice to what most viewers (and TSM fans, probably) were thinking at the moment. “What the hell was that?” Ludwig asked after the round when zekken stopped by the casters’ couch. Zekken’s response was straightforward: “I had no bullets, and I forgot I had a pistol.” While it might have been the only available play open to him, running straight at Hazed with a knife out still feels like a moment of ultimate disrespect from zekken. Hazed will certainly be hearing about those Phantom shots again. The map win put Sentinels in prime position to reach the upper bracket final of the four-team invitational tournament. And Sentinels fans will surely be happy to see that the team’s play and memes are already in mid-season form ahead of the VCT LOCK//IN event that kicks off the 2023 season on Feb. 13. Read the full article

[crystalstar8]

“Pet Theft” pt. 2

Chapter 2, “Monkeying Around”

tags: violence, action, pet theft, blood, mentions of a hurricane

 The mansion was enormous, Jungkook had always known that. But there was a difference between wandering the halls in search of a bathroom and wandering the premises in search of an unlocked window. There were cameras everywhere, because this guy was a freak, but Jungkook was an expert at spotting and avoiding cameras by now.

           He felt bad thinking of his uncle as a freak, but only briefly. The man was a freak, because even though Jungkook was his family and also a member of the most famous boyband in the world, the man would still have him arrested for coming anywhere near his house. It was fine though. Jungkook knew what he was doing. This wasn’t his first rodeo.

           Jungkook pushed through a rose of Sharon bush and looked up at the second floor window. It was cracked open, letting the summer breeze into whatever room that was. Jungkook had no idea. Despite growing up visiting this house frequently, Jungkook is sure there’s a ton of rooms he still hasn’t seen. Jungkook eyed his surroundings. A few feet from the window was a lattice against the brick wall. A trumpet vine climbed the lattice and continued up into the brickwork. There were no flowers right now though, which was good because Jungkook would have felt bad if he wrecked any. A quick glance around proved the area was free of cameras. Jungkook darted for the lattice and began climbing. He scaled the wall expertly then made a leap for the windowsill. He caught the stone sill and hauled himself up and into the room. His boots hit the carpet and he looked around.

           The room was empty. It was a small office, bookshelves lining the walls and a big desk in the corner, piled with papers and envelopes. A hearth took up the right wall with a painting over it. Jungkook recognized the painting as the work of his cousin, Misun. The two of them shared this particular artistic ability. Jungkook remembered coming to his uncle’s house as a kid and painting with Misun, who is a few years older than him. She was already so good at that age. Jungkook feels like he’ll never catch up to her ability.

           Tearing his eyes away from the painting, Jungkook crept across the carpet and out into the hall. Still no one in sight. He hoped to run into Misun on this mission. She could give him directions in this labyrinth of a house. She definitely wouldn’t call the police on him.

           Eventually, the carpet gave way to hardwood floors. Jungkook took off his boots and crept along the wood in his socks. It was silent, no sign of anyone nearby. He found the stairs and took them down to the first floor, which he was relieved about. He was way more familiar with the first floor. The whole house was 1800’s Victorian style, which was really beautiful and magical, even after all these years and even though Jungkook was breaking and entering. It reminded him of Harry Potter. He remembered when he was about ten years old, his brother and Misun had already read the entire series. They liked to play Hogwarts in this house, making fun of Jungkook whenever he didn’t understand their references to the books. His brother claimed that Jungkook was too young to read them still, since the Harry Potter books were for adults. Jungkook had read them the next year, but by then, his brother and cousin were over playing Hogwarts.

           Those were the last books Jungkook’s read if he’s being completely honest. It’s fine. He’s since spent his time developing other skills, like sneaking around a house undetected.

           Jungkook heard a floorboard creak and leapt for the closest open door. It led into a dark room. He was wearing all black, so he easily melted into the shadows. He peeked around the corner to see his uncle’s second wife walking down the hall. He never called her his aunt. She never acted like an aunt. Misun liked to refer to her step mom as ‘Lucifer’s concubine’, never to her face but Jungkook always found it hilarious.

           The woman walked past the room Jungkook was hiding in and disappeared around a corner. Jungkook let out the breath he was holding. He swung around the corner back into the hall and ran right into someone, fully startling them both and almost knocking each other over. It was Misun. Before she could scream, Jungkook slapped a hand over her mouth and pulled her into the room he was just in, closing the door behind them. He flicked on the light and looked at her with wide eyes. She looked back at him with equally wide eyes. As soon as she recognized him, she sagged in relief, which quickly turned into annoyance. Jungkook took his hand off her mouth and she slapped him in the arm.

           “What the hell are you doing here?” she whispered. “I thought you were a rapist.”

           “I’m stealing another one of your dad’s pets,�� he said.

           “Well you’re not being careful enough. You could have run into his wife instead of me. She’s around here somewhere,” Misun said.

           “Yeah, I just saw her,” said Jungkook. “Noona, I need help finding his conservatory.”

           “It’s connected to the dining room, you know that,” said Misun.

           “Yeah, but which dining room? Last time I broke into it, I was in a hurry trying to get away from your dad. I didn’t really see where I was going.”

           “Go down this hall, take a left. Go through the kitchen, into the courtyard. It’s easier to get into it through the courtyard. You’ll see it then,” said Misun. “Be careful. I’ll try to distract them both. Text me when you’re out of the house.”

           “Thank you, you’re the best!” Jungkook said, hugging her. She didn’t hug back.

           “Thank you who?”

           “Thank you noona,” said Jungkook.

           “If you get eaten by a tiger, I’m not coming to your funeral.”

           “I won’t get eaten by a tiger,” said Jungkook.

           “Imagine if you got eaten by a tiger. BTS would fall apart and then the whole Korean economy would fall and everyone would lose their jobs and go hungry. The country would fall into shambles and all your fans would be devastated. How would you feel then?” Misun asked.

           “Well, I wouldn’t feel anything ‘cause I’d be dead,” said Jungkook. “But it’s fine. I’m not taking the tiger this time.”

           Misun rolled her eyes and mumbled, “’Next time.’” She left the room and glared at him once more before closing the door behind her. Jungkook waited a few minutes after hearing Misun call for her parents. Then he opened the door and crept out, following the directions his cousin gave him. He finally made it to the courtyard without being spotted and saw the conservatory in all of its glory. It was beautiful, the domed glass arching over the all glass room. A set of huge double doors led into the conservatory, which Jungkook opened. The sounds of all kinds of animals rang out through the conservatory. Big cats growling, monkeys shrieking, birds squawking…it was a cacophony of unease in Jungkook’s head. He knew these animals weren’t treated right. Most of them were hungry or sick. He tried not to look at most of them as he made his way to one particular cage and tried not to feel guilty that he’d be leaving them behind today. He’d come back for them, he promised himself he would.

           The cage he stopped at held a marmoset, the tiny thing curled up on it’s branch. Jungkook put his boots back on and pulled his backpack off. Out of his backpack, he produced a ziplock bag of carrots and grapes, which Jin had sent him with as a snack. Jungkook took a carrot out of the bag and held it between the bars. The marmoset peeked over at him, eyeing the carrot suspiciously. The little guy made no move to grab the carrot though. Jungkook tossed the carrot back into the bag and pulled out a grape. When he held that through the bars, the marmoset looked at it with a bit more interest. Finally, the monkey sprang into action, jumping off his branch and grabbing onto the cage bars. He grabbed the grape and bit into it, chewing happily.

           Jungkook eyed the padlock on the door of the cage. Maybe he should have looked for keys somewhere, but the padlock didn’t look too strong. At the very least, the hinges of the door didn’t look too strong either. He gripped the bars and held the cage steady with his other hand. The marmoset went back to his branch and watched nervously as Jungkook pulled on the door with all his might. The hinges creaked and the bars buckled. He adjusted his grip and pulled again, this time the whole door breaking off with a loud clang. He winced at the sound as he set the cage door on the ground.

           The monkey shrieked and curled up in the corner of his cage, staring at Jungkook with wide eyes. Jungkook pulled another grape out and set it in front of the monkey, then stepped away. Nervously, the marmoset reached out a tiny hand and grabbed the grape, munching on it slowly. Jungkook reached a hand in to let the marmoset investigate. The little monkey approached slowly, sniffing at his hand and then looking around his palm for another grape. Jungkook pulled out another grape and offered it to him. The monkey snatched the grape away and ate it. Jungkook thought now was the time. He reached out to scoop up the monkey, but the little guy did it himself by climbing up Jungkook’s arm and sitting on his shoulder. Jungkook smiled and put the bag of carrots and grapes back into his backpack. As he slung the bag back onto his back and made his way out of the conservatory, he heard a voice call out.

           “Jungkook! I’ve already called the police you little punk. So you might as well turn yourself in!”

           It was his uncle. The monkey on his shoulder shrieked and grabbed his hair as Jungkook started backing away. His uncle tried to lunge for him, but Jungkook was quicker. He darted away and made a run for the double doors. A hand grabbed his ankle and he crashed to the floor, the marmoset yelling and jumping off of him onto a nearby cage. The lemurs inside went crazy as the little monkey taunted them. Jungkook was dragged by his ankle and his uncle stood over him.

           “How dare you show your face back here,” his uncle growled. “You might as well give up, you little shit.”

           Sirens wailed in the distance, getting closer and closer. His uncle pinned him down. Jungkook was probably stronger than the man, but his uncle was bigger and heavier. Jungkook didn’t stand a chance when the man put his weight into pinning him down.

      “Freeze! Don't move!" the police shouted as they burst into the conservatory. Panic coursed through Jungkook. He couldn't get arrested. He had a reputation to uphold. His hyungs would be so disappointed. Army would be even more disappointed. So he did the only thing he could think of. He kicked his uncle's feet out from under him, then leapt to his feet. He reached out an arm and the marmoset jumped to him. Jungkook tucked the monkey into his coat as he ran right for the closest window, jumping and smashing through it. He hit the ground with a roll before getting back up and running. There was a wall around the courtyard, providing privacy to the garden. Jungkook could hear the police behind him, shouting and threatening him. Two apple trees stood by the wall, which Jungkook used to jump between to the top of the wall. Then he jumped down, his boots hitting the pavement.

Back in the city. He took off running still. The little monkey peeked out of his coat. His tiny hands were clutching Jungkook’s T-shirt. This side of the city was not only decrepit and seedy, it was also unfamiliar to Jungkook. Especially since that hurricane hit and everything was either destroyed or underwater.

He had managed to lose the cops by jumping that wall but he wasn't in the clear. They'd be on the lookout for him. He was both famous and carrying a monkey not native to this area even a little bit, so he really had to be careful. He ducked into an alleyway, his boots splashing through the water. The water level was really getting high around here. He could still hear the sirens. The cops were close.

Jungkook's eyes darted around the alley. There was a crawlspace up ahead, a few feet above the water. He sloshed through, then jumped up to grab the ledge, pulling himself up into the crawlspace. The marmoset scampered over Jungkook and into the crawlspace to avoid being squished. The little monkey decided to lead the way from there, Jungkook following close behind. The crawlspace opened up into a bigger tunnel, something that Jungkook could actually stand up in, albeit hunched over. Water dripped from the pipes and grates above. The dripping water and footsteps echoed in the tunnel. Jungkook could barely see ahead of him, so he pulled out his phone flashlight. He didn’t want to step on the marm. The two of them stopped at some point, Jungkook pulling his backpack off and slumping against the wall. He pulled out the bag of snacks and handed a grape to the marmoset’s already outstretched hand. Jungkook began munching on the carrots.

He looked at his phone. A few from the group chat asking where he was. He hadn’t told anyone he was going to do this today. A few texts from Misun. He texted her back that he was out of the house and away from the police. Then he texted the group, letting them know he was safe and not arrested. Then he put his phone away.

The grates above them filtered in some sunlight and the ground here was mostly dry. The marmoset was rummaging through the ziploc bag hanging from Jungkook’s fingers, sorting the grapes from the carrots. Jungkook rubbed the marmoset’s head. His fur was brown and he had a halo of soft fur around his head. He was smaller than what Jungkook was expecting. A pygmy marmoset, if Jungkook’s quick google search back home was anything to go by.

“Jimin hyung would love you,” said Jungkook. “Actually, they'd all love you."

He sighed and stood up, reaching out his arm so the marm could climb up to his shoulders. He packed up his belongings and slung the backpack back on, ignoring the rapid fire texts buzzing in on his phone. As they trekked further into the tunnel, it eventually opened up into a proper maintenance tunnel, complete with dim red lights up on the wall and more water on the ground.

Jungkook imagined his hyungs taking this route and chuckled to himself. They'd be terrified.

The tunnel led them to a set of stairs going down. There was nothing but the sound of dripping water, so Jungkook deemed it safe to go down.

The stairs led to an underground electrical maintenance room, complete with open, sparking wires and two foot deep water. Jungkook sighed and looked around. At the other end of the room, there was an open door. He eyed the best way to get there, then tightened the straps of his backpack.

“Hang on tight, little guy," he said. He didn't know if the monkey actually understood him, but the little marm actually did tighten his grip on Jungkook's hair. He braced against the stairwell and jumped for the nearest generator machine, just barely grabbing the pipes and missing the water. He climbed to the top of the generator. There was a desk below, an old, gutted desktop computer sitting on the surface. Jungkook climbed down onto that, then continued on in this fashion - jumping and climbing his way to the door to avoid the water.

The door ended up conveniently leading to a few stairs above the water, which Jungkook made the leap to. The rubber of his soles barely grazed the water. From there, after a few twists and turns through the halls, Jungkook found himself in what used to be a casino. Some of the slot machines were still on, providing some kind of light. But most were either flickering or completely dead. Some were totally gutted, the cash inside stolen. The garbled sound of slot machine music mixed with dripping water to create an eerie atmosphere. The carpet was wet and wires and broken pipes hung from the ceiling. As he walked though, he had an urge to replay the Bioshock games. Maybe he would do that when he got home, if they didn’t have more shit in their schedules. Maybe he could get Jin to play. Jin was fun to play horror games with.

Jungkook strolled through the decrepit casino, taking in the vines and moss growing up through the cracks in the ground. He felt his phone ringing in his pocket, but didn’t answer it. The casino led into a hotel, in much the same state. Jungkook wondered if there was actually a way out of this place, or if he was doomed to roam around in here forever. He tried to follow the directional signs on the walls until he finally found the exit. Once he got outside, he pulled up the map Namjoon had sent him a few days ago to a wildlife sanctuary. Namjoon had really done his research on it too, which Jungkook was grateful for. It was a non profit, private sanctuary that restricted guests and did other non profit work for the environment. It sounded legit; Jungkook trusted Namjoon’s judgement on this one.

The sanctuary wasn’t far, thankfully, but he’d have to take the train. He didn’t have his wallet, so he’d have to sneak on. Not the first time, but he wasn’t rich back then. Now it was just stupid. As he made his way to the train station, he flipped through the messages on his phone from the group chat. Everyone was expressing varying degrees of surprise and panic. He’d explain later. He also had a message from Misun stating that “The police tried to track you. I’m breaking my phone for you, asshole. You better buy me a new one with your idol money,” then nothing from her afterwards. Jungkook chuckled at that. She was so funny.

Once Jungkook got to the train station, he politely coaxed the marmoset to hide in the backpack, which the monkey was grudgingly agreeable to. Then he put his hood up and pulled a face mask from his pocket. He didn’t need people recognizing him here, and he definitely didn’t need the police recognizing him. When he got to the gates, he waited for the guards to look away before hopping over the turnstiles, then blending into the crowds to board the train.

Jungkook found a seat near the window, gently pulling the backpack off and putting it on his lap. He could feel the marm moving around inside, so he unzipped the backpack a little bit to take a peak. The marm was rummaging through Jungkook’s belongings, pulling a water bottle aside to get at the gold chain in the bottom of the bag.

Jungkook pulled the bag closed as a set of security guards walked by. The train started moving. Both guards eyed him suspiciously as they walked by, swinging their batons. As soon as they moved past, Jungkook let out the breath he’d been holding. That was a close one.

“That was a close one, huh?” Jungkook asked the marm as he peaked back into the bag. The marm blinked up at him. Jungkook scratched his head.

Now all he had to do was wait for his stop. The marm wasn’t having it though. After rummaging through the snack bag three times and coming up with no more grapes, he began to get angry. Jungkook leapt out of his seat and ran to the bathroom. The marm was loudly complaining about this predicament, climbing out of the backpack and throwing carrots around. Jungkook closed them into the tiny bathroom and tried to reason with the marm.

“Hey, hey, hey! Come on man!” Jungkook tried to grab the monkey, but he was jumping all over the bathroom, shrieking and throwing carrots still. Jungkook finally got a hold of him and took the bag of carrots away.

“No! We don’t throw things!” Jungkook scolded, wagging his finger. The marm grabbed his finger and bit it. “Ow!”

Jungkook yanked his finger back. He didn’t know how to handle this situation, so he sat on the closed toilet lid and let the little monkey wear himself out. After about half an hour, the marm had tantrumed himself into a nap on Jungkook’s lap. Even though he was a brat, the little marm sure was cute.

Just as Jungkook was gathering the monkey into his arms to put back into the backpack, someone pounded on the door of the bathroom.

“Hey, what’s going on in there?” someone asked. Whoever it was was rattling the door latch.

“Uhh, yeah, just finishing up in here,” Jungkook said. He zipped the backpack up and slowly opened the door, glancing around at the mess of carrots all over the place. “You might not wanna go in there for a while.”

As Jungkook looked up at the person at the door, he froze. It was a security guard. The guard narrowed his eyes. He was tapping his foot and smacking his baton against his palm.

“Hmmm, you look a little...familiar,” he said. Jungkook lifted his mask up over his nose.

“Really?” Jungkook asked, his voice squeaking a bit. The guard rubbed his chin. Jungkook felt a drop of sweat run down his face.

“Oh! You’re from BTS!” the guard said. “My daughter is a huge fan! You’re her favorite. Can I get a picture or an autograph for her?”

Jungkook let out a sigh of relief. “I can give you an autograph. No picture, sorry,” he said.

The guard pulled out a scrap of paper and Jungkook signed it.

“Thank you so much, my daughter will be so jealous I got to meet you,” he said. Jungkook smiled and nodded. “But wait a second…”

Jungkook froze. The guard narrowed his eyes again.

“Aren’t you... part of that group that had that scandal?” he asked. Jungkook let out a breath.

“No, that wasn’t us,” he said. “We didn’t have any part of that.”

“Oh okay,” the guard nodded and turned to walk away. “Wait a second! You’re that kid the police are after! And you didn’t pay your train fee, did you?”

Jungkook turned and ran.

“Hey! Get back here!” the guard shouted. Jungkook bolted down the center aisle of the train car, the guard trying and failing to keep up. Jungkook ran through car after car until he reached the very back. The door was locked. He could see the tracks streaming behind them through the little window.

He had lost the guard, but he could hear the man yelling and catching up. The marmoset unzipped the backpack from the inside and climbed up onto Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we’re gonna get out of here,” said Jungkook. This train car was full of luggage, which Jungkook was thankful for. He didn’t need any passengers around to see him. Jungkook pulled the monkey off of his shoulder and placed the marm onto a nearby suitcase. Then he braced himself and kicked the door with all his might. It didn’t budge. It was a slide door, not a swing door. Jungkook wasn’t sure what he was expecting.

The door at the other side of the car opened up and the guard came through. The man was huffing and puffing, trying to catch his breath.

“Just turn yourself in, kid,” the man said. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You can just let me go,” said Jungkook. “I’m doing the right thing here. You can just pretend you didn’t see me.”

“No can do, son,” said the guard. He lifted his baton and came at Jungkook swinging, but Jungkook was faster. He ducked fast and then came back up with an elbow. He hit the man square in the jaw, knocking him out cold. Jungkook grabbed the guy and lowered him to the ground.

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry,” he mumbled. Then he went back to the door to try to figure out how to open it. The marm was chittering on the ground next to the guard. Jungkook looked over at him. The monkey was tugging at a ring of keys on the man’s belt.

“Genius! You’re a genius,”  Jungkook said, unclipping the keys and flipping through them. He finally found the right one and opened the door. Jungkook held out an arm and the marmoset jumped over to him, taking his spot back on his shoulder.

“Hold on tight, marm,” said Jungkook. He swung out the door and started climbing the metal ladder to the roof of the train. The wind whipped past and the monkey almost lost his grip. Jungkook grabbed the marm and held him close as they trekked across the top of the train. Their stop was coming up. The train was slowing down as it neared the station. Jungkook knew that he had to get off before they got to the station, so the guards wouldn’t see him. He just didn’t know how. He’s never jumped off of a moving train before. God, if the guys knew what he was about to do, they’d have a fit.

He waited for the train to slow down enough, then relayed the plan to the marm.

“We’re gonna jump, okay?” he said. “You’re good at jumping.”

Their train car was approaching a tree. Jungkook prepared to throw the marm. He didn’t want to do this; if anything ever happened to this monkey, he would kill everyone and then himself. But he also knew that this was kind of what monkeys were made for. So he tossed the marm to the tree as it passed. It looked like he caught a branch, but Jungkook didn’t stick around to make sure. He jumped for the gravel, his feet hitting quick before he launched into several rolls. It was painful, the rocks digging into his back and shoulders as he rolled, but at least nothing was broken or sprained.

Then he leapt to his feet and ran for the tree. Jungkook only had to open his arms and the marm jumped to him.

“I’m sorry little guy!” he said. The marm was hugging him tightly and Jungkook had to pry him off to look him over. He didn’t seem to be harmed at all, which was good because if he was, Jungkook would have lost it.

“We’re not gonna do that again,” Jungkook said as they walked away from the train station. “That was way too risky.”

The marm chirped in response and took his place back on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook pulled out his phone, whose screen was only a little cracked from the jump, and pulled up the map. The sanctuary was close. The thought of the place made his stomach turn a bit, but a mission was a mission. He walked through the forest, taking his time as the sun began to set. The closer he got, the sicker he felt.

The sanctuary was in the woods, consisting of one small building and then fenced in land behind it. When Jungkook arrived, he went in through the door and found himself in a reception area.

“Hi, how can I help you?” asked the receptionist. She looked like a nice girl, but Jungkook kind of felt like running out of here as fast as he could. And maybe throwing up a little bit.

“Are you okay sir?” she asked. Through his anxious thoughts, he found it weird that she was calling him ‘sir’. She was probably older than him. Maybe.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m here to…” abandon this monkey like an absolute monster. Was he really going to leave this monkey here, all alone, after everything they’ve been through? He could feel the marm’s little hands holding onto his hair. He began tearing up just thinking about it.

“Actually, I don’t think I can…” Jungkook began. The receptionist looked at him, concerned and a little alarmed. “I’ll be back another time. Do you have any pamphlets or something about proper marmoset care?”

She smiled and said, “I’ll print something off for you.”

Jungkook slumped into one of the chairs by the desk as the receptionist, Byeol, as her name tag read, typed away on her computer. Jungkook pet the marm as he let the anxiety roll through him.

“They’re not supposed to be kept as pets though…” Jungkook mumbled.

“No, but he’s already been domesticated, so it’s not like he can go back into the wild. He’ll probably be better off with you, since he seems to be pretty attached. A lot of times, when people leave their pets here, they get anxiety about being abandoned, even if they’re better off,” Byeol said. “Don’t feel too guilty about it. Where did you get him?”

“My uncle. He has a lot of exotic pets. I’m trying to get them all better homes because my uncle is an asshole,” said Jungkook. Byeol laughed.

“I’m sure he’ll be better off with you than anywhere else,” she said. “We’d take care of him here, too, of course.”

“But I’ll miss him,” said Jungkook, pouting and looking down at the marm in his lap. “I can’t leave him.”

The printer in the corner of the office whirred to life and printed off a few sheets of paper. Byeol got up and grabbed them, stapling them together and handing them to Jungkook.

“Email us if you have any other questions, but you should be okay,” she said. “I’d like to know how he’s doing though.”

Jungkook stood up and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be back with other animals. I’ll let you know. Thank you.”

He nodded to her and walked out. Standing outside in front of the building, he fiddled with his phone, wondering what his hyungs are going to think when he comes home with a monkey. He’d cross that bridge when he came to it. In the meantime, he called a taxi to pick him up at the nearest road.

When he got home, Jungkook spent two hours setting up a space for the marm in his room. Even though he had his own fluffy bed, the little guy still slept on Jungkook’s pillow beside him that night.

[calleo-bricriu]

All right, I’ve had my couple of drinks now.

Two of Pentacles starts the whole thing off wobbly, trying to find balance, resourcefulness, ups and downs, adaptability, flexibility, profit & loss, partnerships that are probably as volatile as the rest of the card. This one looks like economic nonsense, which nobody paying any attention to the world's economies in general would be surprised by.

Queen of Cups pops up next; usually represents a person. Psychic--so probably a legilimens, or at least someone good at reading body language and pattern recognition--emotional woman, feminine, warm, sensitive, kind, daydreamer, beautiful, creative. It can also be a reminder to be mindful of how you treat yourself and others (on account of getting to say hello to everyone you stepped on on the way up while you're on your way back down), and you're probably more sensitive than you let on.

Knight of Wands is up next and that bastard revolves around being hasty, taking risks, shameless flirt, charming, fearless, rebellious, revolutionary, moving country, being full of energy and confidence, I hate that this one is always going with "Probably a fire sign" mostly because I'm a fire sign and all of those things sound exhausting. Do you know how much energy and time it takes to move about, do rebellious or, Merlin forbid, anything approaching revolutionary, and do it all while at least still pretending you're charming and full of energy when you really just want to go and have a nap?

Then again, it does tend to refer to someone about half my age when it's talking about a person.

I hate that card turning up on the rare occasions I'll indulge some self-proclaimed--whatever the hell people who read these things for a living call themselves, Muggles, usually--and them going on about how it's definitely about me. Do I look like I have that much energy? If I do, would you like to borrow my glasses?

Sure, maybe it was 35 years ago right now it's just making me tired to even listen to the description. I'll take the open minded, free-spirit, and fearless options but the latter is only because I burned those pathways out as the result of 40-some years of studying the Dark Arts without a break.

"You can't scare me" isn't boasting, it's me telling you I have a high degree of neurological damage that prevents me from actually feeling fear.

That was just a side rant spawned from the context of the preceding and proceeding cards.

Moving on.

Knight of Swords follows that and--oh, not more big changes and rebellious, revolutionary, chatty, impulsive, daring, ambitious, 'go against the status quo' exhausting people. At least when it's Swords instead of Wands it gets elements of 'leadership' tacked onto it which means if my deck is being a collection of cackling nonsense as it usually is, it means I at least don't have to do any planning.

Would anyone mind if the Knight of Wands clubbed the Knight of Swords over its head to get it to settle down?

With the Eight of Wands we've got--fuck's sake, really? We're doing this again are we?

At least Temperance decided to show up to put the brakes on, because Eight of Wands just reiterated exhausting to read Eight of Wands backing up the Knight of Swords and Knight of Wands.

Not that it'll do much good long term, according to the Eight of Cups and I bet it's the Ministry's fault somehow; it's always the Ministry's fault.

I'd really be more inclined to pull this deck out more frequently if its main entertainment didn't seem to be sarcastically shouting the same warnings at me over and over.

I know.

I get it.

I'll deal with it when it gets to that point.

I'd say I need to keep on top of my finances but I've got such a wide circle of people who are so much better at managing that aspect of my life than I am that I'd probably just make an entire mess of it if I tried to get more involved than I already am. I’m also contractually obliged to stay out of large parts of it for those reasons.

Anyway: My life is likely to remain generally annoying on account of one person (( @absintheabsence​ )) , the already in shambles world economy is only going to get worse and probably be one of the main catalysts used by several people to do things that wouldn't otherwise be tolerated, and I'd still prefer to simply nap through the whole mess but that's unlikely.

I’m sure if he sees it, Monday morning will be interesting.

[baekhvuns]

I think the fact some of my fave duos in Ateez are Sansang and Woosang (I love Seongsang too) says a lot, I was destined to be wrecked by Yeo. 😅 why are you surprised tho?

Girl, I'm already paying for Hwa to tell his lil silly stories on Universe, btw WHERE IS HE I MISS HE 😭😭😭😭 hope had a great Chuseok, but still no texts, no photos, no nothing...

Edit: as I'm writing this he posted a letter 💔 Damn this boy has a way with words, I know he's gonan write the most emotional song in the future. Not a fan of very sentimental tracks, but I'm gonna support songwriter Seonghwa nevertheless. Lol

I saw a prophetic tweet that predicted Elizabeth's death and it said Charles will be gone in 2026 so fingers crossed. Though maybe not cause UK's economy is already in shambles and they're spending so much money on this bullshit. Yes, the fact the police approached people who held blank sheets of paper just to check, sick. Fuck this country seriously, why does London have to be in the UK :/ also I laughed so hard

Ududurhdudhsbdbjdhs don't worry cause you reminded me of that keyhole place, next time I'm in Rome I might go!

I'm getting on the plane as we speak. What does your sign say? I hope you have a Seonghwa banner with you as well.

Life As We Know It was wacky, but also sad like damn, yeah I can see that scenario actually! Blacklist is a fuck boy Hwa fic 👀

I'm focused on mister man Jae Young, complete tunnel vision, so I bet he's gonna be a dickhead 🤡 just my luck why man so pretty 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

Stop I knew you were gonna mention the angle when Hwa fell on the board 🥴 yeah we were close and personal but LOOK AT HIS HAPPY FACE

Daily Uber driver and I just got an email from Uber......... 🤔

The duality of a man, he can be Usui, he can be Miyamura, woah. It was DV anniversary and it made me miss long haired Hwa even more 😭 I'm already used to his mushroom/bald look I'm not expecting to be happy anytime soon and now Hongjoong has let me down with his black hair as well. GIVE ME SOME FLAVOUR BOYS the tour is about to start 🤧 your scalps had enough rest, let's go

Yes, the manga is really nice and that guy (Himuro) is definitely silver Hwa, I see we agree! Despite looking cold LITERALLY he's a lil meow meow who enjoys flowers and cats, I mean that's Seonghwa for sure. I'm glad to see another office romance, I like some high school stuff, but I wanna watch adults, like Wotakoi

Not a fan of Ariana, but I mean why not I guess?

I started Big Mouth, but stopped following kdramas for a while, because I'm focusing on anime, I have so many to finish. I forgot about Why Her? and tbh not sure if I wanna pick it up again. But so far I've enjoyed BM! Did something shitty happen?

Yes I was that baby they waved to actually (real)

I'm once again craving sporty Hwa fanfiction - also not him acting like he was fighting for his life when there was literally no competition jwuudiajdjnshdjdhdhs. And - DV 💖

hi hello!!!

I think the fact some of my fave duos in Ateez are Sansang and Woosang (I love Seongsang too) says a lot, I was destined to be wrecked by Yeo. 😅 why are you surprised tho?

omg yeosang's duo with anyone is >>>> sansang is so,,, mAKES ME WANNA LOOK AWAY i was surprised bc i thought u would gravitate towards the line with insane duality or the hoe line,,, so mingi was my first bet after u said hongsanhwa,, mingi during thanxx????? 😮‍💨😮‍💨

Girl, I'm already paying for Hwa to tell his lil silly stories on Universe, btw WHERE IS HE I MISS HE 😭😭😭😭 hope had a great Chuseok, but still no texts, no photos, no nothing... //// Edit: as I'm writing this he posted a letter 💔 Damn this boy has a way with words, I know he's gonan write the most emotional song in the future. Not a fan of very sentimental tracks, but I'm gonna support songwriter Seonghwa nevertheless. Lol

LMFAOOOO HIS SILLY LITTLE STORIES AND LETTERS 😭😭😭😭 whenever he writes something it';s so emotionally filled with heartbreakingly beautiful words and a cute ass photo 😭😭😭😭 SFGSFGBFCHBI THAT TWEET PLEASE THATS SO SO TRUE AND ACCURATE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I saw a prophetic tweet that predicted Elizabeth's death and it said Charles will be gone in 2026 so fingers crossed. Though maybe not cause UK's economy is already in shambles and they're spending so much money on this bullshit. Yes, the fact the police approached people who held blank sheets of paper just to check, sick. Fuck this country seriously, why does London have to be in the UK :/ also I laughed so hard

bestie as i was answering this canada declared an official holiday on sept19 as queen's death day,,, free holiday i guess 😭😭😭 charles 2026 dfhggfh i want william on it so he could give diana her title back LMFAOOO THE AD THING 😭😭😭😭 but that paddington bear thing was really cute 😭😭

Ududurhdudhsbdbjdhs don't worry cause you reminded me of that keyhole place, next time I'm in Rome I might go! // I'm getting on the plane as we speak. What does your sign say? I hope you have a Seonghwa banner with you as well.

pls do bc it looks so pretty!!,, LMFAOOO DFBGBJ I FOR A SECOND GENUINELY THOUGHT U WERE GOING SOMEWHERE 😭😭 my sign says "pink hwa pc hand it over here"

Life As We Know It was wacky, but also sad like damn, yeah I can see that scenario actually! Blacklist is a fuck boy Hwa fic 👀

IT REALLY WAS 😭😭😭 sad for the kid i wonder if they told her 😭😭,, oh????? oh. huh a fuckboy au 👀

I'm focused on mister man Jae Young, complete tunnel vision, so I bet he's gonna be a dickhead 🤡 just my luck why man so pretty 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

FGJHSEF TUNNEL VISION SOMETIMES BFDBFJ IM SERIOUS WHEN U SENDING ASKS LIKE THIS THE WAY I LAUGH OUT SO LOUD 😭😭😭😭 oH bet he will be the duckhead,, but maybe a lost cat <3 just like hwa,, why would u send that.

Stop I knew you were gonna mention the angle when Hwa fell on the board 🥴 yeah we were close and personal but LOOK AT HIS HAPPY FACE

ALL MY EYES GO TO IS THE ANGLE IT WONT GET OUT CJFHJHFJ ITS A VERY INTERESTING ANGLE, EATING MY FIST ACTUALLY

Daily Uber driver and I just got an email from Uber......... 🤔

the perfect man?? free driver??? communicates in emails??? 😮‍💨😮‍💨

The duality of a man, he can be Usui, he can be Miyamura, woah. It was DV anniversary and it made me miss long haired Hwa even more 😭 I'm already used to his mushroom/bald look I'm not expecting to be happy anytime soon and now Hongjoong has let me down with his black hair as well. GIVE ME SOME FLAVOUR BOYS the tour is about to start 🤧 your scalps had enough rest, let's go

no ur so right,,, he's so diverse it HURTS. hONGJOONG DYED HIS HAIR BLACK AGAIN??????? IM ON THE PLANE TO KQ RIGHT NOW RUNNING TO HIM WITH A HAIR DYE,, LMFAOOO SCALPS HA ENOUGH REST 😭😭😭

Yes, the manga is really nice and that guy (Himuro) is definitely silver Hwa, I see we agree! Despite looking cold LITERALLY he's a lil meow meow who enjoys flowers and cats, I mean that's Seonghwa for sure. I'm glad to see another office romance, I like some high school stuff, but I wanna watch adults, like Wotakoi

NO BC I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO BE COLD, LITERALLY,,,, a little meoe mewo 😭😭😭 literally hwa 😭😭😭😭 stop YOU WATCHED WOTKAI TOO 😭😭😭😭 IM ABOUT TO SCREAM DFHG. I LOVE THAT ONE SO MUCH 😭😭 SCREAMING

Not a fan of Ariana, but I mean why not I guess? //// I started Big Mouth, but stopped following kdramas for a while, because I'm focusing on anime, I have so many to finish. I forgot about Why Her? and tbh not sure if I wanna pick it up again. But so far I've enjoyed BM! Did something shitty happen?

catch me deactiavting when that happens,, YES SO SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IT BLEW MY MIND,,, THE RECENT TWIST HAD ME GASPING and now there's only two ep's left 😭😭😭😭 back in the anime phase, i also felt that i have been searching up shoujo's to watch for a while now and it's all i been doing 😭😭😭😭

Yes I was that baby they waved to actually (real)

OH I DIDNT KNOW U WERE THAT TALL

I'm once again craving sporty Hwa fanfiction - also not him acting like he was fighting for his life when there was literally no competition jwuudiajdjnshdjdhdhs. And - DV 💖

that one race he wins after losing himself, going thru so much training and almost quitting and having a character development >>>> LMFAOOO HES SO DRAMATIC DBDF and ming thinks he's 5ft😭😭😭😭

he's so embarasing, that one guy in kdrama that calls u noona and has crush on u but u think of him as a kid and he gets butthurt, that's his energy

????

bestie i got a quiz

[dipulb3]

Analysis: Rotting fish, lost business and piles of red tape. The reality of Brexit hits Britain

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/analysis-rotting-fish-lost-business-and-piles-of-red-tape-the-reality-of-brexit-hits-britain/

Analysis: Rotting fish, lost business and piles of red tape. The reality of Brexit hits Britain

While it should be a source of embarrassment for the PM that his deal has made life very difficult for many of the industries that he has championed post-Brexit, Johnson’s public statements on the matter suggest he is oblivious to the reality that many are facing.

When asked for comment on the immediate consequences of the trade barriers implemented as a result of the deal, a UK government spokesperson told Appradab Business:

“From the outset we were clear that we would be leaving the customs union and single market which meant that there would be new processes after the end of the Transition Period. These were widely communicated through our public information campaign.”

The starkest example of what Brexit is doing to British business comes from Scotland’s fishing industry. Despite the government’s claims during Brexit negotiations that the fishing industry was very near the top of its priority list, there is a real fear that the entire industry could collapse in a matter of weeks.

“We had an entirely new system for exporters to get their heads around that hadn’t been tested prior to use. The result, somewhat inevitably, was that it started going wrong straight away,” says James Withers, chief executive of Scotland Food and Drink.

“This isn’t as simple as an IT glitch that needs fixing. In a matter of days, we went from being able to send fresh food to Madrid with a single cover sheet of paperwork. Now there are roughly 26 steps for each transaction.”

The real-world impact of this means that some exporters have had the European market cut off overnight. Almost every day, pictures circulate on social media of virtually empty fish markets and boats tied up. Withers has heard stories of Scottish boats sailing 48 hours to process catches in Denmark, just to get their stock into the single market. In an industry where profit margins are often thin, every hour spent working around red tape is critical to both the freshness of the product and the productivity of the business.

When pushed on the matter, Johnson has said that he thinks these are merely teething issues and not the fault of his deal or the barriers it’s created. His spokesman explains that the government is providing £23 million ($31.4 million) for the industry to ease the process.

When asked specifically about the fishing industry earlier this week, Johnson once again denied that the problems facing exporters had anything to do with his deal, but instead were due to restaurants being shut because of the pandemic.

However, Withers believes that money “will run out quickly” and without coming to some new sort of arrangement with the European Union, “this sort of exporting might not be sustainable” and will “almost certainly lead to the very people the [Prime Minister] said he was fighting for losing their jobs.”

The scenes in Scotland might not be as dramatic as the food shortages and lines of backlogged trucks that many predicted post-Brexit, but the damage is already showing up in economic data. Brexit issues are exacerbating a slowdown caused by pandemic restrictions, IHS Markit said on Friday, and lengthening suppliers’ delivery times. While 33% of manufacturers reporting a drop in exports linked the decline directly to the pandemic, some 60% linked the drop to Brexit, according to IHS.

ForagePlus, a horse nutrition business based in Wales, had dozens of parcels bound for Europe returned this week due to glitches in its shipping company’s new systems for processing customs information. “It’s just a shambles basically,” ForagePlus founder Sarah Braithwaite told Appradab Business, adding that it had been nearly a month since the company was able to ship anything into Europe due to the pandemic and Brexit.

There is real concern among trucking companies and logistics firms that things are going to get much worse in the coming months.

Multiple sources within the affected sectors told Appradab Business that British consumers won’t feel much disruption yet, as January is a typically quiet month at ports and the United Kingdom did stockpile goods to prepare for a possible no-deal Brexit. But that could change as trade volumes increase over the coming months, putting border systems under additional pressure.

This could result in a gradual reduction in the variety of fresh produce available to British shoppers. According to a spokesperson for Logistics UK, “in the short term, while supply chains sort themselves out, it may be that we return to a more seasonal approach to shopping or have a more limited range to choose from.” This could mean that after decades of fresh fruit and vegetables at all times of the year, Brits might have to start seeing strawberries as summer treat, for example.

The region where food shortages could fast become a real issue is Northern Ireland, where images of empty supermarket shelves have circulated on social media. Due to the unique position of Northern Ireland, it has split with the rest of the United Kingdom and remained inside the EU single market, making it a lot harder to import food from Great Britain. Simon Coveney, Ireland’s foreign affairs minister, said that images showing empty shelves in Northern Irish supermarkets were “clearly a Brexit issue” and “part of the reality” of the United Kingdom leaving the European Union.

Trade experts are concerned about the gradual decline in EU-UK trade. “The slow decline is in some ways more dangerous than sudden food shortages,” says David Henig, UK director at the European Centre For International Political Economy. “I am particularly concerned about exporters being unable to fulfill orders and losing customers or just giving up completely. The long-term message that sends could be very damaging for inward investment,” he adds.

There are legitimate questions as to why things have been so bad, despite the United Kingdom having years to prepare for the cliff edge. “We’ve known about the risks of not being prepared for five years,” says Anna Jerzewska, founder of Trade and Borders, which assists exporters and importers across Europe.

Jerzewska says that her clients are reporting numerous complaints, but most worryingly a failure of support from the UK government to resolve their issues. “Getting an answer to a technical question could take 48 hours, which is obviously a problem for fresh produce. People in the call centers can only really point to guidance, but the guidance isn’t currently fit for purpose.”

And despite everyone involved working hard to resolve the early issues, Jerzewska fears this won’t be enough to save struggling British exporters. “At the moment it’s shock, but the underlying costs are not going away. And for traders who work at thin profit margins, an extra couple of percentage points could be the end.”

Many of Johnson’s Conservative lawmakers are struggling with how to reply to their constituents. “The party gave us lines to read out when the deal came through presenting it as a huge success, but as time goes on, it’s clear there’s quite a lot of nasty surprises in Pandora’s box,” says one Conservative member of parliament who is not permitted to speak on-the-record about government policy outside of their brief.

Others say that small local businesses are up in arms at finding out that if they want to visit Europe to sell their goods, they might need a work permit from foreign governments or paperwork allowing them to move goods into the European Union.

There isn’t much optimism that things will improve in the near future among moderate Conservatives. Many are extremely worried that the gradual decline caused by Brexit will ultimately lead to Europe trying to lure Britain’s golden goose to the continent: The City of London, which hosts many of the world’s biggest banks.

“Once the fog of Covid lifts, financial and professional services firms looking to expand globally will see London and realize that we have given up quite a lot of our competitive advantage,” says the Conservative member of parliament.

The trade deal Johnson signed bizarrely didn’t address either of these, despite them making up a huge part of the UK economy. Banks and traders in London are now hoping to be granted “equivalence” by the European Union, a designation that would allow them to continue serving EU clients with limited disruption.

“If no deal is reached on equivalence for financial services or data, that could kickstart a squeeze on the city from EU regulators and leave businesses wondering what the benefit of setting up in London is if you want to serve the European market,” says Henig.

The European Union and United Kingdom are supposed to reach an agreement in March on financial services, but the mood music from both London and Brussels right now suggests that the United Kingdom is unlikely to be pulled back into the EU regulatory sphere any time soon.

Many Brexiteer lawmakers felt vindicated when the world didn’t fall off its axis in the immediate aftermath of Brexit, as plenty of the anti-Brexiteers’ worst nightmares failed to materialize. However, if the current trajectory of gradual decline continues, the slide could become uncontrollable.

Those politicians will have to explain to voters why they encouraged their prime minister to pursue such a hard Brexit despite the warnings of its consequences. They have a couple of months before things get really bad to put pressure on Johnson to start engaging with the reality of Brexit a little more.

The question that matters most to those struggling is how bad things must get before those who most vocally supported Brexit are willing to break ranks and admit the truth: that leaving the world’s largest trading bloc has immediate consequences.

[bad-draft-stuff]

c.AU 2

witty joke

Sheepy: *You know what the rudest thing to do when someone is sleeping is? Talking! But unfortunately, Kay, you have a roommate that doesn't comprehend that all hours are sleeping hours here!* Arsé-kun: *Sometimes people get phone calls from other people. It is a fact of life and also it is probably a good time to get the fuck up. Whatever time it might actually be. Kay doesn't know or care.* Sheepy: *It definitely sounds like Grif is on the phone!... in the kitchen!* Arsé-kun: *Kay checks his pockets and finds his phone. Okay, so Grif isn't on HIS phone at least* Sheepy: *Good sign. So he's probably using his own.* Arsé-kun: *It's probably some brick nokia that can only make calls bc this bitch can't read* Arsé-kun: *Either way, Kay isn't worried about it. College kid on his phone, what's he gonna do* Sheepy: *Good question! What will you do to start the day? Arsé-kun: *bathroom.* Sheepy: *good (?) start* Arsé-kun: *Brief montage of Fou chasing a moth while we wait for that to be over with* Sheepy: *Elyan will even help him!* Sheepy: *What will you do next, Kay?* Arsé-kun: *Get food. Interrupt Grif if he's feeling bitchy. Consider punting Fou into space.* Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: *on speaker, apparently* ---No, Griflet. You cannot blend potato juice and tomato juice and expect it to taste good. It simply does not work that way. Sheepy: Grif: Have you tried french fries with ketchup? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Many times. However, the components vary greatly outside of the base two plants. It is like... It's like how dipping fries into ice cream is acceptable, but dipping them into plain milk absolutely is not. Sheepy: Grif: Why would you dip fries into ice cream? Sheepy: Grif: Ice cream is perfect. It shouldn't be soiled. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: .... I cannot argue with this statement. Even if I disagree. Sheepy: Grif: It can go with certain warm things. Brownies and cookies... but it melts too fast. Arsé-kun: Kay: *is somehow disappointed by how mundane this is. he fully expected some weird shit* Sheepy: Grif: But what if my cooking level becomes high enough I can make slower melting ice cream? A goal to achieve. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Please consider what you put the ice cream into. It may melt slower in a container that retains cold. No guarantees. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Containers are important... Arsé-kun: *Kay wonders why his microwave is open* Sheepy: Grif: I didn't think so. I just put it in whatever I found. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: That was your mistake. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Sheepy: Grif: They never melt in the carton so clearly the carton is the ideal place... But how awkward, opening up an ice cream carton and clearly seeing someone has eaten from it. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Incorrect. It is the storage place that prevents melting. The carton should be able to do that, though. It'd be nice. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Sheepy: Grif: What is the ideal container? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: In general, or that humans have? Sheepy: Grif: Humans. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Insulated bowls do exist. Sheepy: Grif: I wonder if Kay has them. It might be difficult for me to buy. Sheepy: Grif: Although, maybe if I started fighting stronger foes I'd get better drops... Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: A carton containing a trace amount of power from Aphoom-Zhah would work in theory, but holding it would be impossible for anyone humanoid.... And stay within your range. You've already had one bad experience this week. Sheepy: Grif: So maybe I might have difficulties touching it? Sheepy: Grif: I'll train harder so I can start fighting for better drops. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: I recommend it. Sheepy: Grif: Although, knowing where to focus improvement is difficult. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe I need to be tankier. But if I can defeat my foes before they hit me, I'll have the same effect. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Knowing when someone is within sneak attacking range is also important, but apparently difficult. Sheepy: Grif: Sneaking... Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: I should get better at that. My level in stealth is very low. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not my fault you're deaf as hell. *as he bumps the fridge closed* Sheepy: Grif:...?! Sheepy: *Grif reaches for his right side before pausing, staring at Kay* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, don't you fuckin' dare or you'll be outta here faster than you can goddamn blink! Sheepy: Grif: You startled me. Sheepy: Grif: Don't sneak up on me like that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't no sneaking when I walked into my own kitchen for lunch, moron. Sheepy: Grif: Eh... Sheepy: Grif: I have to get better at stealth and better at detection. Arsé-kun: Kay: And why's my fuckin' microwave open? Sheepy: Grif: Well, I was talking to my dad. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hear this, but don't you have a phone? Sheepy: Grif: Phone? Sheepy: Grif: I've seen these before. Sheepy: Grif: But they look fragile. How scary. Imagine breaking it, how much that would cost you to repair it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't you use mine already..? Sheepy: Grif: I didn't enjoy it. The anxiety of potentially breaking it in some way... It's too much. Arsé-kun: Kay: So you're using.... My microwave. Somehow. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I was talking to my dad. Sheepy: Grif: I could use the fridge instead if you'd like. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't. The food in there needs to stay cold. Sheepy: Grif: I see.. Then what? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: There are several human-made cellular devices that are more sturdy. Perhaps look into that? Sheepy: Grif: With what money? Sheepy: Grif: I have to grind to be able to farm more efficiently. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: You're farming at a college. No one there has money. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Sheepy: Grif: But why aren't they paid for doing their work? Because it's at home? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: the economy is in shambles and only so many people have money. Most do not. So anything off path that goes looting is not getting money either. Sheepy: Grif:.....? Sheepy: Grif: So if I got a shambler limb drop and tried to sell it, I couldn't? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Many places do not take things like that. However, you must find the ones that do. Sheepy: Grif: Where? Are there any on this campus? heepy: Grif: If so, I suspect that it would be someone in the medical field. Specifically someone who experiments with inhuman things. Sheepy: Grif: If I can get someone to buy my stock of shambler limbs, I will buy a phone. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: I cannot answer that. Sheepy: Grif: I see... I know what I must do. Sheepy: Grif: Today my day will be busy. Sheepy: Grif: I will ask everyone on the campus to buy my shambler limbs, starting with who is most likely to buy them. Sheepy: Grif: If none of the professors are willing to buy them, I'll ask the students. Perfect. Sheepy: Grif: If nobody is willing to buy them... I'll ask Dad? But I don't know that he has money... Are gold coins a current currency? How many gold coins is a phone? Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it's better to convert gold coins before buying a product with them. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: In some places, yes. This is not one of them. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Too bad. Sheepy: Grif: I'll try asking the professors then. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, do you want to come with me? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh, I might... Actually, hold on. *he stops and goes digging through unsorted backpack papers (the rare few) for a schedule. It is in the folder on the table. he's an idiot* Arsé-kun: Kay: *finding it eventually* i do have a class today, so I can't. It's in..... Shit, twenty minutes, fuck me right up! Sheepy: Grif: If you insist. Arsé-kun: Kay: NOT LIKE THAT Sheepy: Grif: Go to class then. Arsé-kun: Kay: So bye Grif, bye Grif's cooler dad, I have to go to a horrible class I don't want, fuck meeeeeee Arsé-kun: *Kay powerwalking out to get ready real fast* Sheepy: Grif: Ah... He's comparing you two. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: If I were to be prideful, I'd say he's right. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Well, maybe he'll be able to meet Dad soon. If he wakes up soon. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I should find the professor who will buy my loot. Arsé-kun: Kay: I have biology, maybe he likes weird biology too. Sheepy: Grif: Then I'll go with you. Arsé-kun: Kay: uhhh. Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: I do know of the man you speak. Allow me to handle that end. Arsé-kun: *visible kay confusion* Sheepy: Grif: I see. Thank you. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: If the professor asks why you are there, tell him Yog sent you. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. He's an enemy of yours. "Yog sends his regards". Arsé-kun: Yog: Not at all. Sheepy: Grif: I see... A friend. A friendly threat instead. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. My threats will be positive and uplifting. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets ready by changing his pants offscreen and that's about it* Sheepy: Grif: I will follow Kay to find his professor. Sheepy: Grif: Right. One important thing. [QUEST ADDED: I Herb U Liek Shamblers] Arsé-kun: *very muffled Yog laughter* Sheepy: Grif: Now I'm ready. Sheepy: *Grif eventually heads out with Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Kay is not happy about Biology. Kay is not happy about body science* Sheepy: Grif: What do you do in biology? Learn the best ways to say farewell to birds? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's anatomy. Body stuff. Shoot, is that what this is? I just wrote it as "Biology" but... Sheepy: Grif: I think it's best said as it is in the name. "Bye, owl...gee". Short, yet showing you feel sad about them leaving. Sheepy: Grif: Anatomy? I know a lot about that. For example, did you know you have five fingers on each hand? Arsé-kun: Kay: Gee. No shit. Sheepy: Grif: If you didn't, why didn't you look at your hands before? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sarcasm. Nobody says "No shit" in all seriousness except rarely. Sheepy: Grif: Some people do. Like people explaining their symptoms to gastroenterologists. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why the FUCK do you know what that is?! Sheepy: Grif: Do you not? Sheepy: Grif: It's where you go when your tummy hurts a little too much for a little too long. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Okay, fair enough. Sheepy: Grif: It's where you go when you eat a shiny rock. Sheepy: Grif: Many animals eat things becauze they're shiny. Fish. Sharks. Lizards. Me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Moron. Sheepy: Grif: If it's good enough for fish, it's good enough for me. Sheepy: Grif: But my stomach hurt for a long time... Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't eat rocks. *kay consults his college map again to locate his class* Sheepy: Grif: Instead it just made me sad. Sheepy: Grif: And in pain. Sheepy: Grif: But you don't eat rocks, so maybe he's just unique? Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds like a personal thing. Sheepy: Grif: How confusing... we can ask the anatomy guy. Sheepy: Grif: Are we close? Arsé-kun: Kay: Getting there. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, every step we walk gets us closer to the completion of my quest. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least one of us will have fun... Sheepy: Grif: You're having fun? That brings me joy. I'll have fun, too, then. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, moron, I already don't like the blood thing, do you think I'm gonna enjoy human organs in great detail?? Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm going to hate this so much. It's, uh, 147, this is 134... 136... 152??? I hate college buildings. Sheepy: Grif: *he begins clapping* Sheepy: Grif: You can count higher than 10. Amazing. I knew you could do it. I'm proud of you. Sheepy: Grif:........ Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes??? I'm a math student?? I sure fuckin' hope I can! Now help me find my classroom, you know numbers! Sheepy: Grif: I will do my best. Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *grif does not do his best* Arsé-kun: *eventually Kay finds the little shitty side hallway. It was on his blind side. Grif did not help him at all. Not big surprise* Sheepy: Grif: Where are we? Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready to starve to death in this labyrinthian limbo we have been cast into? Arsé-kun: Kay: The hall is right here. We went right past it. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't see it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Me neither. Okay, now shut up and move, lets go, I'm already goddamn late. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Arsé-kun: *some of the lecture can be heard from down the hall. the man might be using a megaphone.* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Dr. Herbert: *with a megaphone* --And as I stated, we will not be using textbooks, guidebooks, strategy guides, or sparknotes! Everything will be based on your retention of what you observe and take note of yourself! If you miss something? Too bad, unless you want to observe your own organs! I am not allowed to actually recommend that, of course, but it doesn't mean I can't say it! Arsé-kun: Kay: *quietly* oh no... Arsé-kun: Herb: *he spots Kay and Grif entering* And there are our stragglers! We can finally get started! Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. His voice projects through the use of a cone. I see now how he was capable of speaking to my dad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shush! Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Right. *his expression turns more serious (somehow)* Yog Sothoth sends his regards. Arsé-kun: Herb: As I told the earliest students previously, I have more than just this teaching job, and most certainly will be doing it before and after class. There is a reason for the glass barrier between us, after all, and I am not stopping my real job for this-- *he finally registers what Grif said and finally pauses for a breath* Tell him his soggy regards have been considered. Arsé-kun: Herb: Now then! As I was saying, I am the chief medical examiner for the area. Coroner, forensics guy, corpse jockey, I don't care what you call it. Just expect it when you come into my office at some ungodly hour looking for an extension for a paper you should have done months beforehand. Sheepy: Grif: *he opens the closest thing capable of being opened* Dad, he said your regards are soggy. Arsé-kun: *Kay can swear he heard a faint laugh, but he's way more worried now about what the professor has under a sheet up front.* Arsé-kun: Herb: All of our lessons will be firsthand! Which means! I can finally!... Right, right, I've been informed that I am required to advise those with weak stomachs to brace themselves. But where's the fun in that?! So here! Sheepy: Grif: Firsthand? Do you need someone to do an autopsy on? Arsé-kun: Herb: I appreciate the offer, but I most certainly do not! Observe! *he then rips a sheet off the table next to him. That is a dead body. That is not a new corpse. This is why there is a glass screen between his side of the room and the students.* Arsé-kun: *Kay, and several other students, proceed to scream. This is a normal, instinctual reaction. No judging.* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. It's not fresh. Arsé-kun: *and kay also ducks under his desk and covers his face. oh no oh no oh no* Arsé-kun: Herb: Not at all. This one came into my office about a week after their unfortunate demise. Sheepy: Grif: Based on some reactions, though, you may have a new one or two. Sheepy: Grif:.... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: *Another student interrupts this exchange by raising their hand* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Are we going to watch you open it, Professor? Arsé-kun: Herb: Eventually yes, but not today! Apparently it is frowned upon to "traumatize" the students on day one. You all came in here knowing there were going to be human body parts! Sheepy: Grif: Zippers usually make things easier to open. Did you remember to install one for future use? Arsé-kun: *Wilbur whips around and throws an eraser at Grif. Shut up.* Sheepy: *Grif catches it* Arsé-kun: Herb: ... But I was specifically told, by the dean: "Do not open the body on day one". I can still do THIS! *he easily pulls off and casually throws aside the poor corpse's scalp. The entire thing.* Those of you interested in passing or just plain interested, you may come up to the barrier to see! Sheepy: Grif: *he isn't bothered by this.* Arsé-kun: Red: Wow! Lil C-sto, that brain's almost as big as Red's! *big mans elbows his much smaller friend* Sheepy: Christo: Oh, yes, just about. Arsé-kun: *Some students approach the barrier. Some do not. One stays firmly under his desk* Sheepy: Grif: Oh, this is the premium learning spot? *he joins Kay under his desk* Arsé-kun: *it is not. this is the underdesk of misery and suffering* Sheepy: Grif: Did you know that rhe brain is covered in wrinkles to improve processing power? So what if a doctor did brain surgery to wrinkle your brain? Arsé-kun: Herb: Then there would be more space for information to be stored in theory. I'm not a brain surgeon, so I can't offer knowledge on this. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Modern technology truly is useful. You could iron out your enemy's brains to remove their wrinkles. Arsé-kun: Herb: You're better off hitting them with the iron directly as blunt force trauma. Which, coincidentally, was what happened to this poor sod. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I could tell. Sheepy: Grif: But what's concerning is that I don't think it was something from off of the path that did it. Their damage is different. Therefore, it was most likely a human, or something imitating one. heepy: Grif: And it wasn't my uncle because he wouldn't dirty his hands like that... But he could drive someone else to do it... Arsé-kun: *thankfully most people aren't listening to Grif. stop infodumping* Sheepy: Christo: So if they died from blunt force trauma, this brain wouldn't be representative of how brains usually look his many days after death, right? Arsé-kun: Herb: Correct! However, as it has been some time, there is atrophying. That is normal. Sheepy: Grif: Atrophy? So it wins prizes for making good times on the decaythlon? ...Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Grif, please do shut up. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: At least wait until after class... Sheepy: Grif: ...! Yes. I can wait. *Grif quickly cheered back up!* Arsé-kun: *at least someone is happy* Sheepy: *Grif goes back to keeping an eye on Kay.* Arsé-kun: *Kay is still having a very bad time* Sheepy: *Now Kay can have a very bad time as Grif tries to comfort him! Not very well* Arsé-kun: *reality check! pat pat pat pat pat* Sheepy: Grif: Hello? Sheepy: Grif: He did this when I came back injured, too. Should we be doing something about this? Arsé-kun: Yog: I cannot make decisions for you. There are several options open. Sheepy: Grif: How to deal with trauma. #1: Remove the trauma. #2: Repeat #1 until it works. Sheepy: Grif: However, if you knock someone out, they can't have a panic attack. Sheepy: Grif: However, if I do it, I will surely injure him. *he raises his voice* Wilbur, my roommate is suffering. Put him out of his misery temporarily. He can suffer more later. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: What on this Earth would you like me to do?? *he turns around to shoot Grif a dirty look. it is not as dirty as he intended it to be* Sheepy: Grif: A quick chop should do the trick. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That is called "possible brain or spinal damage" and the answer is no. Sheepy: Grif: I'll do it myself then. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That is even worse. Sheepy: Grif: But he's crying. Sheepy: Grif: He's scared of blood because it reminds him of past events. Sheepy: Grif: It's also known as p'tsd. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Does "tact" have a meaning to you? Or "being subtle?" *he sighs* Sheepy: Grif: Tact is very important. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Despite this, you have none. Sheepy: Grif: No! I do! Strike the foe from behind! Sheepy: Grif: Go for the weak point. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That's a tactic. Fine, I'll deal with it. Take notes for me. Sheepy: Grif: I will do my best. Sheepy: Grif: I will pick on the strongest first, because those who go for the weak are weak themselves. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Not like that you buffoon. Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: *he just sighs again* Never mind. Don't bother. I'll deal with it on my own time. Sheepy: Grif: I will do my best. Sheepy: Grif: *he gets out from under the desk and approaches the body* Arsé-kun: *there is a glass barrier. that is as far as you may go* Sheepy: Grif: [Information added: Dead body - "It's the body of someone who's dead".] Arsé-kun: *Yog has no right to judge because he's the one making these entries* Sheepy: Grif: Where was this body found? Arsé-kun: Herb: On the side of the road. Sheepy: Grif:....... Arsé-kun: Herb: Boring, isn't it? But at least it narrows it down to a human homicide and not something else. Sheepy: Grif: My job is to protect everyone from danger, but now the danger is inside in a form I could never distinguish from an innocent... Arsé-kun: Herb: A lot of people are like that. Like your trash uncle. Anyway, getting back on track-- Sheepy: *Grif listens intently to Herb rambling about anatomy.* Arsé-kun: *Grif learns more than he ever wanted abour human anatomy. He now knows several more places to injure to commit kill.* Sheepy: Grif: *INT UP!* Sheepy: Grif: I can now target weak points while sneaking. Sheepy: Grif: *he decides to go check on Kay and Wilbur. hewwo* Arsé-kun: *Kay looks miserable and embarrassed. At least he isn't crying anymore* Sheepy: Grif: You stopped crying. Good. Your face looks better without tears, but it still needs work. Arsé-kun: *Confusion has been added to the conglomerate of emotions on Kay's face* Sheepy: Grif: Self care is important for making yourself shine. That's where you can improve. A smile, too, but that's hard to do with nothing to smile about. Arsé-kun: *Wilbur stopped paying attention the second Griflet intended to re-enter the scene and is doing his homework. He is not enjoying the cramped underdesk but what can you do* Sheepy: Grif: Also, I listened to him, so I have grown stronger. Dad helped me write notes for you. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: If it consists of nothing but "Brain: the thing in your head" and several puns, I'm leaving you in charge of Duncan daycare for the next week. Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: But... he is hard to take care of when I can't see him. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That sounds like a personal problem. Sheepy: Grif: I must learn how. Sheepy: Grif: However, my notes should be more accurate considering I listened to him. Sheepy: Grif: "The victim and the culprit had a bash, but the culprit got ahead of themself and hit the victim, causing damage to the brain along with death. Witnesses admit, 'the strike was on par with a golf player smacking a golf ball with a golf club', noting that the tools used in both situations are one and the same." Sheepy: Grif:..... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ..... How am I related to you? Do not answer that. Sheepy: Grif: Through Dad. I learned this from him. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I have real notes. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Thank you. Sheepy: *Grif reads his notes off to Wilbur* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur gets his notes. Sure, it might not be English, but only Kay loses out on this one* Arsé-kun: *Kay gets no chances to relax in this goddamn class.png* Sheepy: Grif: Does that help? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Greatly. You will not deal with Duncan babysitting duty. Yet. Sheepy: *Grif appears pleased! He successfully helped Wilbur!!* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is pleased! He got his notes and Griflet didn't make a fool of himself! Arsé-kun: *Kay might be pleased, but anything is nice after that whole situation! Why??? Hell if I know!* Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST COMPLETED: A Noteworthy Achievement] Sheepy: Grif: Kay, I will explain them to you later. Don't worry. Sheepy: Grif: Unless you plan to drop out of the class. Arsé-kun: Kay: I want to. I really want to. Sheepy: Grif: Then do it. Sheepy: Grif: Or fish. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't. I need the science class. This was the only one open. *he just ignores that last part* Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell if I know. Sheepy: Grif: You aren't a science major. Sheepy: Grif: You're, eh.... Sheepy: Grif: *he brings up his menu and quickly starts skimming the relationship tab for Kay's major* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Stop doing that in public. Someone might notice. Sheepy: Grif: But I don't remember. Arsé-kun: Kay: Just say Math. Sheepy: Grif: Your major... is Just same-ath... just same as what? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Mathematics. Accounting. Don't ever ask me to shorten words for you ever again. That was a joke. Sheepy: Grif: Paimon, define accounting. Arsé-kun: Paimon (but actually Yog): Noun: the action or process of keeping financial accounts. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Accounting is the action of keeping accounts. Arsé-kun: Yog: Financial accounts. In other words, money. Sheepy: Grif: So moderators on computers don't do accounting. Arsé-kun: Yog: That is a different definition of the word "Account". Would you like this definition as well? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Yog: Noun. A user account is an identity created for a person in a computer or computing system. Sheepy: Grif: I put a password on mine because it told me to, but I can't tell you it because it told me not to. Arsé-kun: Yog: Correct. Sheepy: Grif: But if I forget it, I'll ask you what it is. Arsé-kun: Yog: There is a logistical flaw in this logic. I would point it out if I did not have a way around it. Sheepy: Grif: There's a high chance you saw me make it. Arsé-kun: Yog: And a higher chance you will inform me of it in the future. Sheepy: Grif: What? But it said not to tell anyone. Sheepy: Grif: It's a rule. I can't break rules. Sheepy: Grif: However, if it were a law instead of a rule, I could break it. Arsé-kun: Yog: A rule is a law that isn't political. Sheepy: Grif: It's different. Sheepy: Grif: One I can break. The other I can't. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I'm almost sorry your roommate has to deal with this. It's almost Duncan Daycare in here. Sheepy: Grif: If you're sorry, you can take me instead. Sheepy: Grif: But I'm happy with Kay. Sheepy: Grif: However, for you, I will not break the law. Sheepy: Grif: But if a law and a rule contradict... Which do I follow? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: A law is just a rule deemed good enough to be official. Usually. Sheepy: Grif:....! Sheepy: Grif: Laws are rules, too... So I can't break them. Sheepy: Grif: If I break laws I will go to jail. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I don't break laws. Duncan is Duncan. I can't really stop you, but who can? Sheepy: Grif: Duncan is above the law because you can't see him. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Duncan also got shot at for committing several crimes. Sheepy: Grif: Who did it? I'll tear them to shreds!! ... Uh, but if they're human, I guess I can only rough them up a bit. Dismembering people is against the law. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: They were all human. It was too long ago anyway. He's not mad about it. Sheepy: Grif: So there's nothing I could do anyway. Sheepy: Grif:...Right, I remember now. I was here for a reason. Sheepy: Grif: I need to pawn off my loot so I can buy things with money. Arsé-kun: Kay: Money can be exchanged for goods and services. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I have heard there is a special way to get a discount on things. By showing them your hand, you can get a "five finger discount". Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I don't think that's what that means. But you do what you're here for, I'm gonna, y'know, get the hell out of here. Sheepy: Grif: I will help you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You got shit to do! Do your shit! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: *rolling his eyes* Five finger discount means stealing. Crime. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Sheepy: Grif: If it's time for an exorcism, it's time for an exorcism! Arsé-kun: Kay: Where did you get THAT from? Moron. Go talk to the professor before I throw you into glass. Sheepy: Grif: Eh... But I thought... fine, I'll do it! Arsé-kun: *Herb is, like he said earlier, doing his actual job and working on the corpse. Several glowing syringes are involved. I do not think coroners use glowing stuff but I have also never watched a coroner do their job. Who knows? Not me.* Sheepy: *Grif approaches Herb* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Sheepy: Grif: That's a nice corpse you've got there. It'd be a shame if someone offered to sell you more you may be interested in. Arsé-kun: Herb: ...? *he carefully places a syringe down and turns to Grif* Go on. Sheepy: Grif: I have loot like this. *he pulls out a shambler limb from his Inventory* Sheepy: Grif: I want to sell it. Sheepy: Grif: I am also good at fulfilling requests. Arsé-kun: *Herb immediately inspects the shambler limb. Forget having a real job to do! Alien limb!* Sheepy: Grif: Does that sound good? Requests would be more expensive because I have to go out and find it but I don't actually know what this is worth. I trust your judgement. Arsé-kun: Herb: It is a fantastic proposal. The only immediate downside is that I'm not quite sure how much this would be worth either. Sheepy: Grif: I have an idea. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, how much is this worth? Arsé-kun: Yog: *on a menu popup, not aloud* I will handle the transaction. This will not be the first time I make a deal with him, nor will it be the last. *a pause* Also he never told me not to save his credit card number. Sheepy: Grif: I see. You have his credit card number. I don't know how to use this, so I will leave it in your hands. Arsé-kun: Herb: .... ..... That does explain a lot. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Herb: Tell your father for me to please stop buying video game content with my credit card. It is not unlimited. I will run out of money eventually. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, Herb said to stop stealing his money. Sheepy: Grif: You can steal other people's money instead. Arsé-kun: Yog: *mac loading icon* nah Sheepy: Grif: He said he won't. Arsé-kun: Herb: Well, it was worth a try. Sheepy: Grif: He must like you to choose specifically you. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Good job. I cannot clap now, but I will give you a round of applause when my hands are empty. Arsé-kun: Herb: I cannot tell my accountant that an eldritch orb is using my cash to fund his video game addiction. Sheepy: Grif: Dad wouldn't need video games if he was allowed to visit more often. Sheepy: Grif: But when you're trapped all alone, you have a lot of free time on your hands. Arsé-kun: Herb: That isn't something I can do anything about, unfortunately. Sheepy: Grif: I want to help but I can't. Arsé-kun: *Herb goes back to inspecting the shambler limb that is now legally his. He's not entirely showing it, but he's very excited about it- So excited he pays no attention to the rising corpse behind him.* Sheepy: Grif:....! Arsé-kun: Herb: .... It's standing up behind me, isn't it. Sheepy: Grif: Move, I'll deal with it! Arsé-kun: *Herb moves aside. Combat begins* Sheepy: *Grif attacks the corpse!* >Hit 8 vs Armor 3 Sheepy: *Grif strikes it!* >14 dmg rsé-kun: *Griflet annihilates it in one shot! Congratulations! Coagulated blood is everywhere. Rotted organs are everywhere. It's very dead (again) (hopefully)* Sheepy: Grif: I won. Arsé-kun: Herb: You sure did. *he just looks at the mess and sighs* I'm going to have to call ol' Carl down for help, aren't I? Sheepy: Grif: Carl... Oh. My uncle? Hm... Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: I beat him up yesterday. Sheepy: Grif: But he probably has healed since then. Arsé-kun: Herb: .... I hope so. Sheepy: Grif: I was gentler than usual. Sheepy: Grif: He should at least be healthy enough to clean. Arsé-kun: Yog: His response is "Why do I have to clean this mess up? I make the messes, not clean. That's Randy's job!" I will now remind him he is a janitor. Sheepy: Grif: Janitors clean things for money. Sheepy: Grif: If I didn't make messes, he wouldn't make money. Arsé-kun: Kay: *from the other end of the room, barely audible because of the glass barrier* Are you done yet?! Sheepy: Grif: ? *he raises his voice* I won. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool, but are you done talking? Can we go yet?? Sheepy: Grif: *he rejoins Kay* Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great! Any longer and you might make more explode. No thanks! Nope fuck that! Sheepy: Grif: Do you want me to? I am just getting started. Arsé-kun: Kay: No thank you! I've seen enough for one day!! Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Let’s go home then. Sheepy: Grif: I’ll show you more another day. Arsé-kun: *Score total: One win for Grif, one win for Herb, and a questionable score for Kay. Win-win-?* Sheepy: Grif: I have no quests after this. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Do you have plans today? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, but I do have an idea. Sheepy: Grif: Is it fun? Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunno. How do you feel about getting an order in for that Halloween week costume? Sheepy: Grif: I don't know how to. Sheepy: Grif: Who would I talk to? What would I ask for? Arsé-kun: Kay: I know... Most of that. I'm not sure what you'd want though. Or if you wanna stick with Bedi's genius theme. Sheepy: Grif: I don't remember it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, duh! No one told you yet! Sheepy: Grif: You can be the change you want to see. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's all based on one story, so Merlin gets to be an asshole cat, Lot stole my idea, Bedi gets to be a rabbit-eared man, Sheepy: Grif: Where are we going? Sheepy: Grif: You can choose my costume. I trust your judgement. Arsé-kun: Kay: You think I have the time to read the entirety of Alice in Wonderland and it's sequel?? Sheepy: Grif: I have heard of this book. Sheepy: Grif: It's got a character named Alice in it. Sheepy: Grif: It also has no dragons in it. Sheepy: Grif: I prefer stories about dragons, but... Sheepy: Grif: I don't like it when the knight kills the dragon. The dragon believes the princess should have her own free will and the knight blindly follows orders under the belief that they will bring him fame and glory. It's frustrating. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't relate. Sounds shitty. Sheepy: Grif: You don't read about dragons? Dad said that everyone knows about dragons. Maybe they aren't as popular as he thought... Sheepy: Grif: He'll be disappointed to find that out. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he just gives Grif this flat look* I. Don't. Have. the Time. Sheepy: Grif: If you have the time to get drunk, you have time to learn about dragons. Sheepy: Grif: I know many things about dragons. Arsé-kun: Kay: You probably know accurate things about dragons. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. For example, some dragons can take on the appearance of humans. They blend in almost perfectly. You could meet a dragon without ever knowing it. Sheepy: Grif: Exciting, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, it kinda is. But on the other side, your uncle... But there's only one of him, right? Sheepy: Grif: He's unique. Sheepy: Grif: But he's intimidating. Sheepy: Grif: He's not trying right now, but if he bothered, he could cause people to hurt themselves or those they're close to. Sheepy: Grif: The fact he could be anyone you meet makes matters worse. Sheepy: Grif: But if he tries anything, I'll stop him. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, we can ask someone who knows something about Alice in Wonderland. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe Dio can help. Arsé-kun: Kay: You can do off-road offpathing yourself. I'm not helping with that. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine. Sheepy: Grif: You could also just be Alice. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'm not wearing a DRESS! Sheepy: Grif: You don't have to. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh? Sheepy: Grif: You can wear whatever you want, can't you? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, yeah, but Alice wore a dress. Sheepy: Grif: Your Halloween costume can be creative. Alice without the dress. Arsé-kun: Kay: How... Sheepy: Grif: Do you wear the same outfit every day? Sheepy: Grif: I wear different outfits. Sheepy: Grif: Presumably Alice did too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Y-yeah, that's fair... Arsé-kun: Kay: My brain is still fried from that whole class.. I feel like I was hit by a truck but only mentally. Sheepy: Grif: We can even it out. Sheepy: Grif: However, I've never driven a truck before so I may miss you a few times. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uhhhh... Please don't! Sheepy: Grif: I'll try not to. Sheepy: Grif: Some of my shirts have writing on them I can't read but people often give me strange looks. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean don't hit me with a truck, moron! Sheepy: Grif: Maybe they're trying to read it but struggling just like me. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you can tell me if I've been embarrassing myself later. My dad gave me one with a black dragon, too. I like it, but people ask me the same question every time. Arsé-kun: Kay: Does it look kinda square and boxy? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lemme guess. "Do you like Minecraft"? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a game. I don't care for it, but Lance likes it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Dad must like it. Sheepy: Grif: He likes games. Arsé-kun: Kay: Orb father likes a cubist's dream come true the game. There's some irony here. Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes he's not an orb. Sometimes he appears human. I've heard his human appearance is very popular. Sheepy: Grif: You may recognize him from his popular catchphrase. Sheepy: Grif: "Hohoho". Sheepy: Grif: However, when I told Lucan, he responded with, "Don't tell Bedi, he still thinks he's real". Arsé-kun: Kay: .... But if he's who I think you mean, then he's real. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: But Lucan claims that everyone's parents fake being him and I must've misunderstood. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, it's true. He's right. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Oh, I get it. Lucan thought you were saying your Dad dresses up AS Santa, not that he IS. Which I hate, by the way. Sheepy: Grif: He is Santa because only he could be Santa. Sheepy: Grif: But if parents act lile their gifts are from someone else, their kids won't know who to thank. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a weird situation. Sheepy: Grif: One day I want to celebrate Christmas with others. Arsé-kun: Kay: Christmas is in two months. Sheepy: Grif: That is a day. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure is. Sheepy: Grif: I haven't been able to experience many holidays from a human perspective. I want to experience them all. Sheepy: *They head to the costume maker's place.* Sheepy: Grif: Is this where they are? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. They're usually somewhere in here if they're not in class. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: *Grif looks around.* Arsé-kun: *it's very empty around here. The hallway is very dusty in some places. Only some* Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it's apparently been like this since the theater kids summoned something on accident. Only some people live here. Sheepy: Grif: Summoned? Theater? Sheepy: Grif: Oh, I get it now. Sheepy: Grif: Terrible idea on their part. Arsé-kun: Kay: The place was yellow for a month afterwards. It was ugly as hell. Sheepy: Grif: They should eventually clean up the dust. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, yeah. Sheepy: Grif: Hellooo? Sheepy: Grif: Is anyone alive? Sheepy: *Someone near by responds with a sarcastic "No!"* Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks a fuckin' lot, bud, means so much to me. Sheepy: Grif:! Sheepy: Grif: Keep talking so I can track you down and put you to rest one last time! Arsé-kun: Kay: IT'S SARCASTIC! Sheepy: Grif: Hah! Don't you know, Kay? Sometimes, the dead refuse to pass. Sheepy: Grif: This is what is referred to as "resisting a rest". Arsé-kun: Kay: There's nobody that's faking it! Sheepy: Grif: So he was kidding? Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif:.......... Sheepy: Grif: Ha. Ha. Ha...? Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Anyway. Hey, Morty, pardon the moron, we're here to harass Garry. He's still busy, yeah? Sheepy: Morty: *he pokes his head out* When isn't he at this time of year? Sheepy: Grif: You look surprisingly not skeleton like. Sheepy: Grif: Although, sometimes when people pass away it's revealed there was a skeleton within them all along. Sheepy: Grif: Having one must be a lot of skelefun. Arsé-kun: *Kay bonks Grif over the head, slapstick style* Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, good point, but we're gonna add to his workflow. Isn't that nice of us? Sheepy: Morty: Do you want a real answer to that? Arsé-kun: Kay: The real answer is you kicking my ass, isn't it? Sheepy: Morty: Yes. You're lucky he's so patient. If you don't pay him well, I'll take you down - I mean, in for your crimes. Sheepy: Grif: What an odd request, but I will do it. Let me find the best place to put it first. Preferably some place with water so it's functional. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Like I said. Pardon the literal-minded moron. Sheepy: Morty: Ignore him. Got it. Sheepy: Morty: I can't actually stop you, so go ahead. Sheepy: Grif: Why make threats if you won't go through with them? Arsé-kun: Kay: Intimidation. Sheepy: Grif: Really... Sheepy: Grif: Is he intimidating? Sheepy: Grif: Should I feign fear so he doesn't feel bad? Sheepy: Grif: Knives mean nothing to me. Sheepy: Morty: What? Most people are frightened by the concept of being stabbed... Sheepy: Grif: If you stab me I will take your knife as a finder's fee. Sheepy: Morty:...Just go ahead and get it over with. Arsé-kun: Kay: Knew you'd understand! We shouldn't be long unless this moron gets distracted or stabbed. Sheepy: Grif: I believe in you not to get distracted, and if someone tries to stab you I will simply snap their spine. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... You, moron, not me! Sheepy: Grif: You've given me a nickname... Sheepy: Grif: I've never been given a nickname before. Arsé-kun: *Kay just gives a "Look what I'm dealing with" look to Morty.* Sheepy: Grif: Fine, I'll accept Moron as my new nickname. Good! I like how it sounds! Sheepy: Morty:...I'm sorry for you. Arsé-kun: Kay: This is what I'm living with. But it's still better than what you have! Sheepy: *Grif heads to talk to Garry. Morty seems anxious and doesn't let Grif out of his sight.* Arsé-kun: *This is fair, and Kay doesn't either* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Sheepy: Grif: My quest has brought me to you. Sheepy: *Grif looks away from Garry and starts scrolling through his quest log* Arsé-kun: *Garry barely glances at him, being mid-sewing. Sewing machine sounds do not help at all here.* Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST: The Cost(ume) of Being Popular - "Locate the Costume Maker."] Sheepy: Grif:...There's no name, so you must just be a faceless NPC. Arsé-kun: Garry: *he finishes the sleeve he was working on, and turns off the sewing machine* Pardon? I wasn't able to hear you clearly. If you're here for the costumes, I've got a sign in sheet somewhere around here. ^^ *and then he resumes sewing* Sheepy: *Grif goes looking for the sign in sheet.* Sheepy: *There's a doll on the sign in sheet, holding the pen. It looks friendly, as if it's greeting those who look upon it. Yet, something about its design choices put off bad vibes. Its gaze almost feels as though it's attached to a living creature.* Arsé-kun: *Kay perceives none of this, plucks the pen from the doll and signs in* Sheepy: Grif:....! Arsé-kun: Kay: He said to sign in. What, did I hurt the doll's feelings now too? *but he DOES put the pen back in the dolls arms. plop.* Sheepy: Grif: Kay, get away from that! *Grif jumps to Kay's side and throws the doll before getting into a combat position* Arsé-kun: *Garry notices something whizzing past and stops to figure out what just happened* Sheepy: Morty: You don't throw other people's property!! Arsé-kun: Garry: What... What WAS that? Sheepy: Morty: He threw one of those dolls. Arsé-kun: Garry: O-oh, never mind, throw it as much as you want! *VISIBLE DISCOMFORT* Sheepy: Grif: "One of"...?! You have more? Arsé-kun: Garry: My older brother makes them. They're harmless, b-but... Sheepy: Grif: It's alive, don't you know that? Arsé-kun: Garry: I was really hoping people wouldn't know that...!!! I don't like knowing that! Sheepy: Morty: I didn't tell him, so maybe rumors-- Sheepy: Grif: I didn't need to be told. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can we move on? We didn't come to discuss things we don't like. Sheepy: Grif: But my job is to protect people, and those things feel dangerous. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then deal with it somewhere else. I'll do the business half, you do what you do. Sheepy: Grif: I see... A side quest... Sheepy: Grif: Do you want them off your hands? Arsé-kun: Garry: Absolutely, yes please! Just don't, uh, don't throw them like that... It upsets them a-a lot.. Sheepy: Grif: So I was right about it not being harmless. Arsé-kun: Garry: It makes them upset and then I get upset... B-but anyway! Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ADDED: All Dolled Up] Sheepy: *Grif collects the doll he tossed. +1 doll obtained!* Sheepy: Grif: I'll use it to track down what's giving them life. Sheepy: Grif: But I'll probably need a few. Arsé-kun: Garry: They're everywhere... Ssooooooo that shouldn't be hard! Okay, have fun, bye! Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. *he goes hunting for the dolls. goodbye grif* Arsé-kun: *and with Grif out of scene, the business major can work with the fashion designer in peace. Feat. Morty* Sheepy: *Morty seems unsure about what just happened...* Arsé-kun: Kay: He's like that. His job is getting rid of harmful stuff or whatever, so no shit he's gonna be tough as nails and dumb as them too. Sheepy: Morty: He scares me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I could tell you what I got to watch him do earlier. I hated every second of it. Sheepy: Morty: Oh boy. What did he do? Sheepy: Morty: For them to hire someone like that to protect us... They're getting desperate, aren't they. Arsé-kun: Kay: Obliterated an undead. In one shot, even! Sheepy: Morty:...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I mean, it was an old one and fragile, so like? Maybe that's normal? Arsé-kun: *Kay thinks about it. Kay proceeds to fuckin regret that decision* Arsé-kun: Kay: BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT Sheepy: Morty:...But even so, I threatened him without a second thought. Arsé-kun: Kay: He doesn't go after people. Not in the job description. Sheepy: Morty: If he did... well, I doubt it'd be pretty. Arsé-kun: Kay: If he did, I'd have already thrown beer bottles at his dumb face. Sheepy: Morty: I know someone else who's good at that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Kick his ass. Sheepy: Morty: I want to but apparently that's mean. Arsé-kun: Kay: So is throwing bottles! Sheepy: Morty: But I thought you did it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to clean glass out of things? Sheepy: Morty: Yes. Sheepy: Morty: It's awful. Actually, next time Har breaks something, I'll make him clean it up. Sheepy: Morty: He might come crying and complaining to me. I'll just do it myself. Arsé-kun: Kay: Tell him if he doesn't, I'll do it but I'll also take his wallet. The entire thing. Sheepy: Morty: Maybe I'll bribe him to go to the AA. Is that where alcoholics go to become sober? Arsé-kun: Kay: Only if they want to. Sheepy: Morty: It's not exactly fun going out to drink with co-workers and having to listen to someone ramble for over an hour about how much they adore their husband before they pass out and being the one to have to drag them home to said husband, only to have to speak to him after that. Sheepy: Morty: That's how the last outing went. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds like a drag. Have you tried drinking alone and putting movies on loud enough to drown out the idiots? Sheepy: Morty: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, it gets depressing. Sheepy: Morty: I can't comprehend how people could find it fun. Arsé-kun: Garry: Me neither! Sheepy: Morty: Well, at least we can go out and do more fun things. Sheepy: Morty: Like... Eh... Arsé-kun: *no one has any input. no one goes out if they can help it. introverts.* Sheepy: Morty: Well, you know what people do when they go out. Arsé-kun: Garry: We all understood what you meant! Sheepy: Morty: If it weren't for the path, there'd be more we could do. Sheepy: Morty: Becoming a detective was a bad choice. People commit crimes but they're dull ones, like littering and selling shoes illegally. Arsé-kun: Kay: What, do you wanna look at dead bodies? Sheepy: Morty: I was hoping to have something of interest to do on my job. Arsé-kun: Kay: One of my professors is a Coroner, probably wouldn't mind help figuring out what happened to people? It'd be better than whatever shit the fuckin' idiot drags you into. Sheepy: Morty: I'm interested. Arsé-kun: *Garry expresses his discomfort by turning the sewing machine back on* Sheepy: Morty: Who is it? Arsé-kun: *Kay gives him the required information! yaaaay* Sheepy: Grif: Hello, everyone. Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome back. We talked business and about the undead you obliterated. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That. Herb makes them too weak. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Eh?? Sheepy: Grif: They should be stronger with what I've given him, if he uses it properly. Sheepy: Morty:...What're you going on about? Arsé-kun: Kay: Beats me. Sheepy: Grif: What, you think the dead body on his table getting up is a coincidence? Arsé-kun: Kay: Weird shit happens all the time, how should I know and why should I give a shit? Sheepy: Grif: He made it. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... But spooooky things happen in the middle of Nowhere, and it's up to Courage to save his new home! *he's goofing off. ignore him* Sheepy: Morty:...A coroner... revives dead bodies. ...Is that where the bodies in the morgue have been disappearing to...?! Arsé-kun: Garry: That sounds like it'll get out of hand! Sheepy: Grif: Speaking of that, I found one to donate to the morgue. Do you usually have dead bodies in your dorm? That's not sanitary. Arsé-kun: Garry: .... Does he look like me at all? Because if so, he's not dead. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Garry: ... *he sighs* I'll deal with him. Pardon me! *he excuses himself* Sheepy: Grif: I see. When humans sleep their pulse stops. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... No, I think that's just him. Sheepy: Grif: When my dad sleeps his pulse stops. Arsé-kun: Kay: Which. Sheepy: Grif: The flirty one. Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds like a personal problem. Sheepy: Grif: Does my pulse stop when I sleep? Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck should I know? Do you think I check?? Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it does. Arsé-kun: *one of the dolls pops its head over Grif's shoulder. what is happening in this thread?* Sheepy: Morty: ! Sheepy: Grif: Behold. My new friend. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're keeping it??? Sheepy: Grif: It's my friend. Sheepy: Grif: We've come to an agreement. Sheepy: Grif: It'll be my friend if I'm its friend. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Well, better that then Fou. Sheepy: Grif: You're very mean to Fou. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't like him. Sheepy: Grif: In the long run it'd best benefit you to treat him with respect. Arsé-kun: Kay: I do. If I wasn't I'd kick his tiny little shitty ass. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Well, if you kick him, I'll kick you. I don't like to see animals get hurt. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm obviously not going to. Bedi would hate me if I did. Sheepy: Grif: That's a worse punishment than me kicking you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You understand. Sheepy: Grif: So emotional responses are more effective than simple "eye for an eye"... Sheepy: Grif: My ability to dish out punishment has leveled up to 2. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why is that even a stat??? Sheepy: Grif: It's a joke. Sheepy: Grif: I tried very hard to make you laugh. Sheepy: Grif:.... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Hah. Sheepy: Grif: Only one... Sheepy: Grif: I'm only supposed to laugh once at a joke. Fine, I'll force only one laugh from now on instead of three. Sheepy: Grif: Tell a joke, you'll see. Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you sure? I'm not the guy people usually ask to tell jokes. Sheepy: Grif: It's fine. You'll be unfunny to me either way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine, fine. What's green, has four legs, and would kill you if it fell from a tree? Sheepy: Grif: My dad. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... See, that's just true. Arsé-kun: Kay: But no. It's a pool table. Sheepy: Grif: Pool tables are usually white with umbrellas. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... A billiards table. Sheepy: Grif: But I never go to the pool. I can't swim very well. Arsé-kun: *Kay's joke fell flat...* Sheepy: Grif: I've heard humans wear outfits at the pool to improve swimming capability. Sheepy: Grif: They're called swim suits. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that's not wrong. Sheepy: Grif: Last time I wore a suit, though, the jacket was too tight for swimming. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd laugh if I knew you weren't being serious. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Never mind. We did our business here. Sheepy: Grif: Where do we go next? Arsé-kun: Kay: Home I guess. Sheepy: Grif: Great. Arsé-kun: *in the far background, outside this room, Garry being helped by several dolls to move someone else. Garry is not happy about any part of this situation what-so-ever* Sheepy: Grif: I know a big quest is coming soon so I should bond and relax when I can. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And whatever that means. Let's just go already. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, there's a dead body on the ground.* Arsé-kun: *As you can see, Garry didn't make much progress, even with the dolls. They got bored anyway and fucked off. Helpful. Anyway being garry is suffering* Sheepy: *The body slightly shifts and starts to move slowly, beginning to breathe more noticably. Maybe it wasn't dead after all?* Arsé-kun: *Garry heaves a relieved sigh and plops down next to it. Stress.jpeg* Sheepy: *The body's eyes open. Hello! Look who's awake!* Sheepy: Toa: ...I-I think I landed wrong on the way down. Arsé-kun: Garry: It looked like it hurt.. Sheepy: Toa: It did. Uh...but good thing I didn't hit my face. Arsé-kun: Garry: We can't afford new glasses again.. Sheepy: Toa: More importantly, if I hurt my face, I'll raise questions at my next live. Arsé-kun: Garry: Why is that the priority...?? Sheepy: Toa: I don't want my manager to yell at me... Arsé-kun: Garry: That's fair.... She's scary. Sheepy: Toa: Maybe she can frighten the curse away. Arsé-kun: Garry: If only it was that easy... Sheepy: Toa: At this point, I don't know who to go to about it... *he starts getting up* Owowow... Arsé-kun: Garry: Don't strain yourself! *he helps Toa up* Sheepy: Toa: Unfortunately, even if we could ask the source... I have a feeling he wouldn't help. Arsé-kun: Garry: He'll just say "I found the secret to eternal life!" and then send me four more dolls and a box of rotten chocolate. Sheepy: Grif: Tell me of the source. I can't let someone who curses people remain unpunished, and I can't let dangerous curses last. Sheepy: Toa:?! Eavesdropping i-is, well...rude! Ah... but you've heard all this, and I can't really let it get out... Y-you could cause bad rumors, and then she'd yell at me... Sheepy: Grif: I don't know nor care who you are, nor do I partake in rumormongering. Arsé-kun: Kay: And if anyone tells rumors, it's going to be me. But he's interested now, so it's your problem! Sheepy: Toa: P-please don't...! Sheepy: Toa: What do I need to do for you not to spread rumors...? Sheepy: Grif: My Threat level has gone up. I can now inflict fear in people with the Cowardly trait as a Passive. Sheepy: Toa: eh? Sheepy: Grif:.......... It's a joke. Sheepy: Toa: Wh- Sheepy: Grif: My Threat level was already high enough to frighten people just by being near them. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Anyway, I already overhear people calling you Danny Phantom so I don't need to do anything. Sheepy: Toa: Yes... I know. Sheepy: Toa: I thought you heard more... Sheepy: Grif: I'm about to. Arsé-kun: Garry: W-wait, that's extremely threatening! Sheepy: Grif: What? It's the truth. I asked a question so you have to answer it. Sheepy: Toa: Th-that's not how it works!! Sheepy: Grif: It's my job. If you don't tell me the source of the curse, the source could end up hurting others. Your behavior implies you're close to the source, making it all the more important I find them, because if they're willing to hurt someone they're close to, everyone could be in danger. Arsé-kun: Garry: Well.... I don't think he was trying to hurt anyone, but.... Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't matter. Arsé-kun: *Garry looks to Toa for his approval* Sheepy: Toa:...I don't think we have much choice but to tell him. Arsé-kun: Garry: Yeah. I thought as much... Arsé-kun: Garry: It's our older brother. He sends the dolls too. He's trapped in his museum off the path. One of the times we tried to get him out, he'd started declaring he'd *airquotes* "Found the secret to eternal life". Along with, uh, a wh-whole m-mummy chasing us around, he did... Whatever caused this? We call it a curse but we don't know what it is... Sheepy: Grif: Oh. You got lucky. Sheepy: Grif: You could have died in a terrible way thanks to that mummy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh... You know about it? Sheepy: Grif: It's the power of being so ugly that everyone who looks upon you partakes in rigor mortis but simultaneously becomes immortal. Sheepy: Grif: Like Medusa but you aren't put out of your misery. Sheepy: Grif: But if he's with the mummy, I'm shocked he's still... Eh... Sheepy: Grif: I won't question your decision to go off the path, but rather than doing it yourself, you should just find someone to help you next time. Fine, you want to drag him out? I'll go grab him Sheepy: Grif: Quest accepted. ... Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif:....... Arsé-kun: *no quest pop-up* Sheepy: *Grif shoves his hand into Kay's pocket and takes out his phone* Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you MIND?! Sheepy: Grif: No, not at all, thank you. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, where's the quest pop up? Arsé-kun: Yog: ... What? I'm playing Doom Eternal right now. What quest? You weren't due for one until tomorrow I thought. Sheepy: Grif: I unlocked a quest. Arsé-kun: Yog: Whhh... Where are you? Sheepy: Grif: Zann Building. The fine arts one. Sheepy: Grif: I unlocked a quest to find an older brother in a museum Arsé-kun: Yog: Huh?! Are you?? I can't... Something isn't... ... Do me a favor. Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Yog: Stay where you are and that is an order! Sheepy: Grif:...?! Arsé-kun: Yog: If I can't see you, then only one of three things is happening. All three are exceedingly dangerous. I'll put the quest in for you, however! Stay put until I get back to you! heepy: Grif: Ah... I'm in danger. *Grif has stiffened up some...* Fine, I'll stay put. But what if something attacks? Arsé-kun: Yog: Retreat. Do not engage. Arsé-kun: Garry: ... Something up? Arsé-kun: Kay: Y... Yes? This doesn't look normal.. Sheepy: Grif: There's people here. In that case, who do I prioritize? Myself or them? Arsé-kun: Yog: I can revive you. I can't revive them. Sheepy: Grif: Fine, I'll keep them safe in that case. Sheepy: Grif: Something is wrong. We're staying here for now. Sheepy: Grif: If you attempt leaving, everyone will be endangered. Arsé-kun: Garry: I... I don't very much like the sound of that..! Sheepy: Grif: That's your problem. Arsé-kun: Garry: .... *he shudders, and then takes Toa's glasses and puts them on* Sheepy: Grif: I'll keep everyone as safe as I can. Arsé-kun: *Quest Added: "A Knight at the Museum"!* Sheepy: Grif: Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif: If you die anyway, well, so sorry. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not very helpful! Sheepy: Toa: B-but we're on the path... Why would anything happen...? Sheepy: Grif: They just simply said no to the rules and went onto the path anyway. Arsé-kun: Garry: Th-that's not comforting..! Sheepy: Grif: It's fine. Someone as powerful as that won't give you the time to know you're dead. Sheepy: Toa: That.. that isn't reassuring at all...! Sheepy: Grif: I understand. My view of mercy is that the cruelest thing you can do is steal someone's life. That's why to be merciful I don't deal instantly fatal blows. Arsé-kun: *Garry has started clinging to Toa. He's shaking.* Sheepy: *Toa wants to reassure Garry, but he's too scared to...* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Y'all wanna get drinks after this? Sheepy: Grif: Did you know? Sheepy: Grif: When I drink, I get unpredictable. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, so not you. Sheepy: Toa: ...I-I'm almost considering it. Arsé-kun: Garry: I-I can't, I've got so much work to do... Sheepy: Grif: My drunk type is "emotional". Do you usually know my feelings? Can you see them on my face? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's a hard sometimes. Now is not one of those times. Sheepy: Grif: If I got drunk, you'd know. Sheepy: Grif: Also, alcohol reduces one's ability to react to pain, so I might end up tanking too much and then Dad would have to revive me. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, but I guess I just accepted a new quest. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe next time. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, outside...* Arsé-kun: *Outside is nothing that strange, honestly. Just some dude trying to enjoy sweets on his downtime. If he could open the wrapper. A relatable struggle.* Sheepy: Morty:...Do you need help with that? Arsé-kun: Aza: That would be... Greatly appreciated, yes. Sheepy: Morty: *he comes over and opens up the wrapper, passing it back upon opening it* Sheepy: Morty: There you go. Arsé-kun: Aza: Thank you. Sheepy: Morty: No problem. Arsé-kun: Kay: *peering out a window and watching this* ... Grif, do you see anything dangerous? I'm not seeing anything. Sheepy: Grif: *he's also staring out the window* Oh. I only see the angry man interacting with Grandpa. Very nice of him. Grandpa gets lonely sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Of course, I suppose that he has to be nice. Sheepy: Grif: He wouldn't like the results otherwise. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why is your family so fucked up? Sheepy: Grif: Define. Sheepy: Grif: Too many potential definitions. Please be clearer. Sheepy: Grif: If it's the one I'm assuming, they don't have any concern for humans generally past seeing them as either strange creatures or playthings. Arsé-kun: Kay: Except your dad, maybe, apparently. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: And my other dad. He likes princesses the most but most humans are fine in his eyes. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Hey, speaking of them-- Since one's immortal and the other maybe is, are you? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: My job is to protect humans. If I die, I can't do that. Sheepy: Grif: I always do my job, so if Death came to me I would simply tell him no. Sheepy: Grif: But Dad knows better than I do. You can ask him for a better answer. Sheepy: Grif: But the answer I think is yes...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay. Cool. Sheepy: Grif: You find me... cool? *Grif appears a little flustered.* I'm not a cool enough knight yet for this... Arsé-kun: Kay: You punched a zombie. It was extremely cool. Arsé-kun: *Kay has changed the subject...* Sheepy: Grif: I can punch you, too, to show you how it feels. Arsé-kun: Kay: I like staying alive. Sheepy: Grif: I've heard it's a good song. I haven't heard it. Arsé-kun: Kay: That too. But if you punched me like you did that zombie, I would simply die. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Don't do that. It's bad for your health. Sheepy: Grif: Do you eat enough nutrients? If you eat specific nutrients, your HP stat will go up. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ... Sheepy: Grif: I focus on SPD and ATK, but HP and DEF are important too. Arsé-kun: Kay: You do know most people aren't like you, right? We can't actively raise "stats" or anything. Sheepy: Grif: Eh? Sheepy: Grif: Why not? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure, I can say "I want to be able to lift more weight" but I can't just... It doesn't work like that. You're the only one with the stats screen. Sheepy: Grif: What? You have stats, too. Sheepy: Grif: I can see the stats of anyone in my party. Arsé-kun: Kay: But I can't just... Look at them and decide "Hm I should do this thing to raise a stat"-- What? Sheepy: Grif: I can see the stats of party members. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Can I see? Sheepy: [Kay joined the party! Dahdahdahdaaaaah! Grow a stronger bond to unlock better stat boosts and combo attacks!] Sheepy: Grif: *he brings up his menu to show Kay his stats* Sheepy: Grif: Behold. Stats. They have a class on stats as well. Sheepy: Grif: It's called statistics. Arsé-kun: *Kay ignores that comment in favor of looking over his stats.* Sheepy: Grif: By taking action, you can improve your stats. Everything can increase your stats, even if the change isn't noticable at first. Sheepy: Grif: However, I've heard that if humans don't use a certain stat for a while, it goes down. Sheepy: Grif: Humans should be more careful not to misplace their stat points. Sheepy: Grif:...I need help learning how to swim, but... Sheepy: Grif: I feel anxious going into the water knowing I could drown, completely out of my control. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't I tell you start small with that? Sheepy: Grif: I find the concept of swimming scary. Arsé-kun: Kay: But you can sit in a bathtub. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's your start. Sheepy: Grif: If it's warm, I may fall asleep. Arsé-kun: Kay: Theeeen don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: Being nice and warm and then falling asleep is nice. Arsé-kun: Kay: I gotta agree with that one. Sheepy: Grif: But apparently if you do that in the bath you'll drown. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then don't make it warm. It's not like we'll have hot water for showers often now that Bedi's living with us. Bastard uses it all. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he looks back at his stats and sighs a little* But my intelligence isn't as good as I thought it was. I thought I was doing good... Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Your Int... Sheepy: Grif: It's one point higher than mine. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. We're two pods in a pea, you and me. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Right, you can read, just not English. Yeah, that makes sense I suppose. Sheepy: Grif: My intelligence is mostly oriented towards picking up skills quickly and retaining them rather than learning knowledge and applying it. Sheepy: Grif: We can work on growing smarter together. Okay? Sheepy: Grif: You may gain more INT by studying more, although I've heard that certain things can lower it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, okay... Has your dad said anything about whatever's going on yet? Sheepy: Grif: Dad? Can you see anything? I think it's Grandpa blocking your vision again. Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Kay's phone* It is him. He seems to be in a decent mood... But I never enjoy risking it. Sheepy: Grif: He has candy, but he's not eating the good part. Arsé-kun: Kay: You don't eat the paper wrapper, you dolt, that's the container. Sheepy: Grif: I like the paper wrapper. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Well, okay. Sheepy: Grif: You haven't had it? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, because I don't eat paper or plastic. Sheepy: Grif: You should experiment more. Arsé-kun: Kay: I like not destroying my organs, thanks. Arsé-kun: Kay: I. .... Okay, touché, but that isn't the reason for that. Sheepy: Grif: If you destroy your organs, I probably won't donate mine to you. Sheepy: Grif: I'll see how I feel right then and there. It depends. Although, maybe you'd die. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd probably die. Sheepy: Grif: Then perish. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, but you can't just grow them back, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, Grif, I can't. Sheepy: Grif: Why are you so fragile? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because most humans are. Sheepy: Grif:.....Hmm. Sheepy: Grif: That's too bad. I guess we can't stay party members if you'll get hurt when you take damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: Last I checked, taking damage usually means getting hurt, dimwit. Sheepy: Grif: I just heal. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool story bro. *he's finally getting annoyed.* Sheepy: Grif: You're too easily impressed. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Can we leave yet?? SSheepy: Grif: You're too easily impressed. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Can we leave yet?? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uugggghhhhhh! Sheepy: Grif: If you leave and there's a danger out there, you'll face it alone. I have orders. I won't ignore them. Arsé-kun: Kay: What, we can't just go out the back or side and go around this?? Sheepy: Grif: Dad said to stay put. Sheepy: Grif: I won't ignore his orders. Arsé-kun: Kay: If your dad told you to end yourself, would you?? Jeez! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Have you NO self-preservation?? Are you stupid???? Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: If he thinks I should, I should. He cares about people, so it'd be with the interest of humans in mind. Sheepy: Grif: Didn't you hear? He basically already told me to do that in the situation of it being you or me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Gimme my phone back. Sheepy: Grif: *he gives Kay his phone back* Are you angry? Arsé-kun: Kay: Almost. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] I need to scream into the void can I borrow you for like ten minutes Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Yes, go ahead!! Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] JESUS FUCKING CHRIST your cousin has the self preservation of a lifeboat on a bed of sharpened nails, good fucking god, put some thought into what ur doing for five goddamn minutes you stupid bitch motherfucker but wait im not d- [message cuts off] Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] -one yet! If this bastard is unaging bc of his dumb parents then either I'd die on him and thad fuckin suck big ass or he'll die bc hes a stupid bitch and thats a load of horse fucking shit id rather fuck a bowling ball Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Shit feels pointless, I'm impatient, he's dumb as hell, and I'm stuck in Zann bc his orb dads like OOOO THERES A BAD I CANT SEE ONE GODDAMN THING OH NO and im dying i do not want to be here i need a fucking adult Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] If you enjoyed the time spent, it wasn't pointless! But do you want me to head over? I'm sorry. He can be a handful sometimes. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] I want you to, but don't. You're not allowed in dangerous situations, remember? Fuck you. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You're in danger?! Hold on, I'm coming. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] NO! DON'T YOU DARE YOU FUCK Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Fine, fine. Then what should I do? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Ask the pisswizard to come pick us up or something. Just bypass the entire whatever's happening outside. I still don't see anything bad but APPARENTLY there is Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] but jeez ur almost as bad as Grif on this front, no wonder you're related Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] He's Merlin with an M, but you got two letters right. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, I can't judge you for being stupid on one front anymore. I told Bedi it was dangerous and the first fucking thing he said was "I'M COMING". He's not, but fuck you guys are bad at this. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: No. Self. Preservation. Sheepy: Grif: So if you're to die, you want me to watch? Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: That is not what I said. Arsé-kun: Kay: But don't charge in if you don't need to. Idiot. Sheepy: Grif: If someone's life is on the line, I will always charge in. Arsé-kun: Kay: Like I said, no wonder you two are related. Sheepy: Grif: No. He and I are different. Arsé-kun: Kay: He did it for an animal. You probably would too. The only difference is you'd win. Sheepy: Grif: And if I didn't, I'd just get up again. Sheepy: Grif: Dad will revive me until I'm not needed anymore. If I die permanently, it's because nobody needs me. Arsé-kun: Kay: So never, ok, gotcha. Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Sheepy: Grif: I'd hope one day they don't... Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe not for this, but who knows? Sheepy: Grif: I'll always be happy ro help, but to become a crutch... Arsé-kun: Kay: Idiot. Moron. Do I have to spell it out for you? You can't have friends if you are dead. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: I have to protect my friends. Arsé-kun: Kay: How do you do that if you're dead? Sheepy: Grif: I can't. But I won't die for real until I'm no longer needed. If my friends need me, I'll stay alive. Sheepy: Grif: What, do you know someone who needs me? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not what I was.... I was being figurative... Arsé-kun: *kay gets Shifty* Sheepy: Grif: My empathy stat is low. Arsé-kun: Kay: no shit. Sheepy: Grif: I have difficulty knowing wheb people need help or not. So I always try to help. Arsé-kun: *As Grif says this, Kay can watch out the window as Aza seems to notice something, rears up a MASSIVE semi-corporeal tentacle from who knows where, and swats Merlin back into this realm. No gnats allowed.* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Hey, I just saw someone get tentacled into the ground, they might need that help. Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: *he appears conflicted...* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... But yeah, I see why we don't go out now. Sheesh. Sheepy: *Grif finally decides that saving lives is a priority and opens the window, jumping through!* Arsé-kun: Kay: WAIT NOW YOU TAKE ACTION Sheepy: Grif: *he rushes over to Merlin and tries to help him up* Sheepy: Grif: You're unhurt, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Seems I've been acquainted with the ground against my will but otherwise? I think I'm ok. Sheepy: Grif: Good. But you could've been... Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa, you could've hurt him! He's fragile! Arsé-kun: Aza: ... Hm? Isn't everything? Sheepy: Grif: Yes, but them even moreso. They can't grow things back. Their damage can be permanent. Sheepy: Grif: You need to be more gentle with them. Okay? Arsé-kun: Aza: What did I even hit? A shoggoth? *he shifts his bangs (finally) for a quick peek* Arsé-kun: *something, somewhere, explodes. but thats probably not here* Sheepy: Grif: You hit this human. Arsé-kun: Aza: unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: He might look similar to me but you can't be rough with him like you can with me. He's weak. Arsé-kun: *Merlin is slightly offended but does not comment* Sheepy: Grif: He was worried about you potentially accidentally hurting the humans inside so he came to bring them home with him. Arsé-kun: Aza: Perhaps do not try to whizz past me as the Shan already do. Sheepy: Grif: He was just concerned. Uncle's been tormenting people recently so they feel unsafe. You're very powerful so you ended up scaring them more. Arsé-kun: Aza: I am just here. I already encountered one humanoid. I did well, perhaps. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I watched you. You did a great job. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, humans are cowardly. Sheepy: Grif: So you have to approach them carefully and be gentle. Sheepy: Grif: *clapping* Good job, Grandpa. Sheepy: Grif: I have a tip for you, too, Grandpa. I know how you can deal with bugs better than just swatting at them. Do you want to know how? Arsé-kun: Aza: Oh? I may not remember for long, but do share. Arsé-kun: *Merlin has exited scene. Goodbye.* Sheepy: Grif: Bug spray is great for dealing with bugs. Sheepy: Grif: I can write it down for you. Sheepy: Grif: You can also make Uncle remind you later. He likes helping you. Arsé-kun: Aza: Spray the Shan... Arsé-kun: Aza: ... What is "bug spray" made out of? Arsé-kun: Aza: Earth bugs? Sheepy: Grif: Poison. Sheepy: Grif: You can buy it at the store. Sheepy: Grif: It's poison that only hurts bugs. Arsé-kun: Aza: How specific. Humans do think of many things. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Much more than me. Sheepy: Grif: For example, they made a box that cooks things inside of it by spinning them. Arsé-kun: Aza: I have heard of this one! They refer to it as a MicroWave, but the only waves it uses are miniature radioactivity? There are no waves... Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. So that's how it works... But I didn't see any waves... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe they're so microscopic we can't see them. Arsé-kun: Aza: That would make sense. Sheepy: Grif: I can get you bug spray later. Arsé-kun: Aza: I would appreciate it before I attempt it myself. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I'll do it. Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif:..... Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif: ...Hold on. Sheepy: *Grif moves away from Aza* Arsé-kun: *Quest Added: "They Shan't"* Sheepy: Grif: Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, it wasn't anyone malicious. It was just Grandpa getting a snack. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Malicious and dangerous are not the same, Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: He's nice. I like him. Arsé-kun: Yog: As do I. But he is very dangerous nonetheless. He is completely unpredictable and I cannot see anything within a distance of him. Sheepy: Grif: I promised to buy him bug spray. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... For the Shan? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I think he's just lonely. People should act nicer towards him. Arsé-kun: Yog: It is hard to when he can kill you on accident. Sheepy: Grif: That's fine. It's only on accident. Arsé-kun: Yog: If he kills you, I cannot revive you at all. Sheepy: Grif: That's troublesome... Sheepy: Grif: But might end up being useful information for an enemy, so it's useful information for me. Arsé-kun: Yog: I suppose that is fair. Now-- Fast Travel to the base is permitted within the campus. Would you like to beat your roommates back to their own dorm? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *skyrim loading screen* Sheepy: Grif: I've returned. Sheepy: Grif: Now I wait for the others to. Arsé-kun: *Grif is promptly hit with the door* Sheepy: Grif:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't stand in the goddamn doorw--- Eh? How the fuck did you get here first? Sheepy: Grif: Ah... it scared me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *piping up from somewhere behind Kay* by all accounts, it doesn't make any sense! Sheepy: Grif: I fast travelled here. Arsé-kun: Kay: So bullshit. Aight. Sheepy: Grif: Fast travel. Sheepy: Grif: You're funny. You hear words and then use different words to describe the exact same thing. Sheepy: Grif: Wouldn't it just be simpler to use the original word? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm calling it bullshit because I don't know or care how it works. Just don't stand in the doorway. Move. Sheepy: Grif: Hm... hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: So if I stand anywhere in the room other than the doorway, you'll like me more. Sheepy: *Grif backs up some before just standing there, staring at Kay* Sheepy: Grif: *staaaaaare* Arsé-kun: *Kay goes past him and beelines to the booze because of course he does. He's been through a lot today* Sheepy: Grif: *staaaaaaaaaaare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *going past all this* Bedi, I got smacked out of a teleport by a giant tentacle today! ... No, I'm not hurt! Sheepy: Bedi: Did it apologize to you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nah. I startled the guy. That's on me I guess! Sheepy: Bedi: Sometimes you startle me, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oops! Sheepy: Bedi: It's fine. When I realize it's you, it makes me happy. Sheepy: Bedi: So it's okay if it's you who's startling me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: <3 Sheepy: Grif: I see. This is how you bond. Arsé-kun: *it is not.* Sheepy: Grif: Kay, try to scare me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm gonna drink to drown out the memories of anatomy class and also y'all flirting so, like, whatever, have fun, don't do anything so loudly that I can hear it in my room-- Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't scare you if you goddamn expect it, moron. Sheepy: Grif: Then we'll never bond, it seems. Sheepy: Grif: Okay, I'll act scared. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not... Merlin, you're teaching him stupid crap. Fuck you. Sheepy: Grif: You teach me how to bond then. I want to be better friends with you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Did we not already have several experiences? Did they not count because you're an idiot? Sheepy: Grif: So we've bonded... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: So you like me better. Sheepy: Grif: Good. Good! Sheepy: Grif: That makes me happy! Arsé-kun: Kay: Good to know. Please shut up. I'm going to drink this entire bottle and then go to bed early because I can't do any more today. It's not happening. I refuse. Sheepy: Grif: You know what drink helps me go to sleep? Sheepy: Grif: Milk. I like ice cream, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: That gives me a better idea, actually. *Kay turns back to the kitchen. huh* Sheepy: Grif: ? I gave someone an idea... Sheepy: Grif: He must be desperate. Arsé-kun: *Kay returns some time later, passing through with what APPEARS to be a glass of milk. Do not be fooled- There is booze in there. He already stated his intention to drink booze.* Sheepy: Grif: It's milk. Good. Milk is nice. Arsé-kun: *Kay opts to not correct him. Good bye. Good night. fuck this.* Sheepy: Grif: Good night. Sleep tight. Don't look at the man in your doorway. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh. What?? Sheepy: Grif: It's a joke. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're in my doorway when I get up, I'm hitting you with the door. Sheepy: Grif: No, it wouldn't be me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey! I hate that. Sheepy: Grif: Don't worry. If he does anything I'll beat him up. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I'll protect you so you can sleep well. Arsé-kun: *Kay finally exits scene after finger gunning towards Grif. Ayy. He is exhausted after today and rightfully so.* Sheepy: *you know who isn't? Bedi, who's still flirting with Merlin in the background* Arsé-kun: *Fou is staring towards the fourth wall like the camera in the office.* Sheepy: *help him* Arsé-kun: *this is the life he lives. tragic* Sheepy: *Grif goes to bed.* Arsé-kun: *YOU CANNOT SLEEP WHEN ENEMIES ARE NEARBY! ... Nah, just kidding.* Sheepy: *in the morning, Grif appears to be getting ready for an outing with little concern about how much noise he's making when people are trying to sleep.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oi, keep it down..! Sheepy: Grif: Perfect timing. You, come here. Arsé-kun: Kay: Right now...? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I need you. Arsé-kun: Kay: I just got up, Grif... *but he does go over* Sheepy: Grif: And not a minute too late. Sheepy: Grif: Or is it soon? Sheepy: Grif: Here, you take this. *he shoves a heavy bag into Kay's hands* Equip this. It's good for beginners. Arsé-kun: *Kay was not expecting it to be heavy and very nearly drops it* Sheepy: Grif: Don't drop it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Figuratively, you're the worst. Making me deal with this stuff minutes after getting up... *he's teasing. He does plop it down on a sofa so he doesn't have to hold it* Sheepy: Grif: Well, it's a gift. Sheepy: Grif: You're my party member. There's your equipment. I have a simple quest today. You're coming. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he sighs* Where are we headed, boss? Sheepy: Grif: The art museum that artist is trapped in. Sheepy: Grif: Its difficulty is very low, so it should be good for your first quest. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ... You're lucky I already committed to following you to this. Let me do my business and I'll look into this. Sheepy: Grif: You might also have a better chance of getting him to willingly join us. Sheepy: Grif: I'll keep getting ready as you do. Go, go. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes to deal with his businesses. Aka anything required to get ready for the day* Sheepy: *Grif continues preparing in the meantime.* Arsé-kun: *Kay comes back about twenty minutes later, having put on sturdier clothes. ... This meaning a leather jacket and jeans, because most people don't own ARMOR.* Sheepy: *Grif has finished getting ready, donning his usual green armor. His face brightens up some upon seeing Kay!* Sheepy: Grif:...Good. You look nice. One day if you want to stay in my party you might need to have something safer to wear, and I'll get it for you. But for now, settle on that. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I do? ... I mean, yeah, whatever, should I put on some elbow pads too while I'm at it? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: It's important to be well protected. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets elbow guards and comes back* Sheepy: Grif: Let's go. Arsé-kun: Kay: I guess! Not happy about any of this! Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: I haven't even TRIED to go offpath since.. A long time ago! I'm not looking forward to it! Sheepy: Grif: Then why come? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because SOMEONE has to make sure you don't die for some stupid idiot reason! Sheepy: Grif:...? Alright. Sheepy: Grif: Don't worry. I'll protect you. Sheepy: *Grif heads out to the museum!* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him closely, hesitant and not happy abut this... But he already committed.* Sheepy: *Grif is keeping his guard up.* Arsé-kun: *Kay is still wary of this dark world of off the path, understandably.* Sheepy: Grif: The real danger is soon. Sheepy: Grif: I can heal any physical damage, so feel free to use me as a meat shield. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nnnnnoted.. Sheepy: Grif: But if it's attacking my mind, that may be more dangerous. My control is what keeps you safe. Sheepy: Grif: Squishy... Sheepy: Grif: You know what else is squishy? Arsé-kun: Kay: What? Sheepy: Grif: Slugs. Sheepy: Grif: So are the things that fascinate them. Sheepy: Grif: Soft, damp areas. Dead bodies. Moldy things. Sheepy: Grif: It grows on trees and sloths, too. You can get a pet one. Mold balls. Arsé-kun: Kay: Gross. Arsé-kun: *unsure if that is in reply to what Grif said, or a passing monstrosity* Sheepy: Grif: We're close by, too. Sheepy: Grif: Do you like art? Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh. Sheepy: Grif: It's very crunchy but usually too oily for my tastes. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... *he just sighs. He doesn't care to reply to this when everything is dangerous and scary* Sheepy: Grif: I like the green ones. I'd like to eat a green art one day. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... What is wrong with you... Sheepy: Grif: I've heard you can buy them at the store but they're prickly. Sheepy: Grif: The last time I ate a prickly thing I got sick. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you don't go out of your comfort zone enough. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... An artichoke..?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: makes a lot more sense. Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't make me choke, so it's just art. Sheepy: Grif: But it makes my stomach hurt... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You do cook it, right. Sheepy: Grif: Cook it? Sheepy: Grif: I'm supposed to cook it? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'll show you if we both survive this without lasting trauma. Sheepy: Grif: Trauma... Sheepy: Grif: Oh, we're here, the art museum. Arsé-kun: *The building is, of course, big. Bigger than the Zann building, and in much worse condition. Many parts are made of a pale, crumbling material that falls apart on touch. There are vines and less describable things almost entirely covering it, but the entryway is completely clear of hazards* Sheepy: Grif: How kind of them to make the entrance so easy to access. They must have known we were going to come. Arsé-kun: Kay: That, or it's used a lot... Hey, will it be less dark inside..? Sheepy: Grif: Are you scared of the dark? If you have a lighter, it might help with the darkness. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not the dark. Whatever is here I can't see... I really don't wanna be here.. Sheepy: Grif: We can go back. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... We're already here. I may as well trudge through the rest. Sheepy: Grif: If you say so. There may be a point of no return. Arsé-kun: Kay: There better be a return..! I have a test on Friday I have to take! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Even in there. Sheepy: Grif: As in, I will. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good for you! Sheepy: Grif: I'll protect you. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go in. Sheepy: Grif: I'll protect you. Sheepy: Grif: It's dark. Arsé-kun: Kay: No shit! Sheepy: Grif: We're looking for a human, right? Sheepy: Grif: All I see is paintings. No art. I was hungry, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Art. Artwork. Artwork and Artichokes are completely different, you meandering doltazoid. Sheepy: Grif: Artwork... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: This stuff is beyond me. Sheepy: Grif: I'd prefer pictures of dragons. It's mostly pictures of women. Sheepy: Grif: I think it's creative that the walls start writing on themselves. It reminds me of the story with that king. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, sucks for the writer! I can't see it, you can't read, and we're coming in there, jackhole! Arsé-kun: Kay: *he raises his voice a little more* My bud got a strict request from YOUR brothers to get your shit ass out of this dump! They have a whole fucking building to themselves, make that a museum people can actually go to instead of this dark bitch-ass motherfucker! Sheepy: *There's the sound of someone shifting towards them in the darkness...* Arsé-kun: Kay: You better fuckin' be human, or Grif's putting a hole through you..! Sheepy: ?: N-no...! I, I... D-don't hurt me! *they sound closeby!* Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're human, there's no intent to harm! Come out so I can maybe see you! *he points his equipped weapon in that vague direction. it is, unfortunately, a golf club.* Sheepy: *They approach.* Arsé-kun: *Kay squinte realle harde* Arsé-kun: *... He can't see shit still. He knows someone is there but it does not help his eyesight.* Sheepy: ?: I-I'm here...but...outside, it's... Arsé-kun: Kay: Better than this. Seriously, isn't this place full of eldritch fuckamacallits? *classy.* How's that any good? Go lock yourself in a public bathroom instead, that's still better than the chance of being offed for shits. Sheepy: ?: ....I-it's my domain...! *he raises his voice some* Here, d-death can't get me! This is a world without death! S-so...! Arsé-kun: Kay: bitch please Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, speaking of that, your immortal brother keeps going ghost and it's very upsetting to him, can you deal with that? Sheepy: ?: I've given him the g-gift of immortality and he av...averted his eyes, so...so... Arsé-kun: Kay: Turning into a fucking ghost every five minutes is not immortality, you stain of cream cheese. Sheepy: ?: It isn't my problem! Arsé-kun: Kay: IT'S ABOUT TO BE! Sheepy: ?: No! No! L-leave me alone! If you try to hurt me, I-I'll...! Arsé-kun: Kay: I already said I'm not going to, idiot! Sheepy: Grif: Power going up. Health going down. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't even fucking see this man. Grif, can you stop being useless in the sidelines for five goddamn minutes? Sheepy: Grif: If I hit him, he will certainly die. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you have any useful tips and tricks to see in this shit realm of bullshit?? Sheepy: ?: No! No! I-I can't die! You can't make me! Sheepy: Grif: Use a lighter. Arsé-kun: Kay: That won't be jack shit. Sheepy: ?: ...! No fire! No fire! No fire! *They continue saying this, more panicked each time...* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hear that? No fire, Grif. Get a better tip. Sheepy: Grif: Use a flashlight. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you HAVE one? Sheepy: Grif: No. Sheepy: ?: I'll.... I'll...! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's it. Let's get stupid. *he takes out his phone and turns on the light* Where are you, bitch boy? Sheepy: ?: Ah...ah...! *he cowers, covering his eyes. It's a messy, weak looking man who appears to not have eaten properly in a while...* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. That kinda hurts... Arsé-kun: Kay: Get wrecked, Grif, that sounds like a personal problem. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ey, art boy. You look like shit. What have you been eating, paint? Sheepy: ?: The rays of Heaven! Its gaze burns my soul! It will consume me whole! I don't want to die! *whimper* I-I don't... *sob* don't...don't...! Arsé-kun: Kay: You sound like you've been eating paint, too, goddamn. Arsé-kun: *But Kay does turn the light off and put his phone away. He knows where the man is now.* Sheepy: ?: Those wh-who break the rules of the museum will be punished! Reapers of Death will be slain! Death cannot grasp me here! This is a world that needs no death... This is a world that doesn't need YOU! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey Grif? I don't think we're wanted here. Sheepy: *Something is quickly approaching, making scratching noises across the floor.* Sheepy: Grif: Boss is here. Arsé-kun: Kay: U-uh! That's your problem..! Sheepy: Grif: [TRASH is approaching!] Sheepy: *Something lunges at Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Whatever it is, it sure does hit him and HARD, easily slamming him to the floor. Kay was not remotely prepared for this!* Sheepy: *It claws at his face!* Arsé-kun: *Kay loses all of his built-up Bravado bonuses! Kay gains the Trauma status! Kay freezes up and can no longer take actions this turn!.... Kay was fine up until his face got hit. Too familiar of a feeling, I guess.* Sheepy: Grif: ...! Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon* ... He is fine, Griflet. It was only five hit points of damage. Take on the boss and continue as intended. Sheepy: *An angry howl rings out near Kay before something tears the monster off of him! They pull back their claws, and-* Sheepy: *An angry howl rings out near Kay before something tears the monster off of him! They pull back their claws, and-* Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon, with a rather urgent tone* Unnecessary action, Kay has not sustained any heavy damage! Over 3/4ths of his health remains! It is only a status condition, settle down now..! Sheepy: Grif: *He slowly puts his hand down before dropping it* Sheepy: *The creature skitters away...* Arsé-kun: Yog: Boss retreated. Sheepy: Grif: ...Good. Sheepy: ?: *he's fearfully trembling...* I-I'll... I'll go anywhere...just don't hurt me...! A demon...! A demon...! Here to drag me to the pits of...Ghhhk! *he collapses...* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Target down. Urgency level reduced. Take your time. Sheepy: Grif: Right. *he approaches Kay and bends down* Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yy-yeah, yeah, every, everything's fine! My eye stings a bit... *it's either a tear or a drop of blood rolling down his face. Maybe both!* My patch was ruined.. Sheepy: Grif: It stings... I'm sorry. I failed to protect you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't do me much good with you standing over there..! Sheepy: Grif: I know. Arsé-kun: Kay: Moron. Bastard. Hold this ruined thing so I can wipe my face off. Sheepy: Grif: *he takes it* I won't make the same mistake again. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't..! I nearly relived my bad experience out there..! Sheepy: Grif: The next time something targets you, I'll...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Make sure I don't get hit after running my mouth? heepy: Grif: I'll tear them to shreds! Arsé-kun: *Kay flinches a little from volume* Arsé-kun: Kay: Could you not.... ... *Kay trails off and blinks. Blinks again. Looks around, seemingly confused* ... Hey Grif? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: How.. How clear is this place to you..? Like, vision wise? Sheepy: Grif: Fairly clear. And yet, I just let it happen. Arsé-kun: Kay: Because my good eye couldn't see at all, but... Sheepy: Grif: It felt weak to me, and I thought you could gain useful experience... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, I can goddamn see you with my bad eye. Sheepy: Grif:...What? Sheepy: Grif: But, you're... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know! *he covers his good eye with his hand* And I can still see you! This would've been SO much better coming here..! Sheepy: Grif: I didn't know... Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither did I!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Getting completely fucked up by a monster has it's perks??? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't Merlin tell you already? I got fucked up by an offpath thing a long time ago. Could that be why...? Or is that too anime shojo hero nonsense? Sheepy: Grif: He did tell me. I don't get it... Sheepy: Grif: It's useful information. Arsé-kun: Kay: Whatever, I'll fuckin' take it! Beats being blind any day! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Logs updated!* Sheepy: Grif: Logs updated. Arsé-kun: Yog: Cut-time's up. Normal time resumed. Please return to your quest. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: *Grif leaves Kay's side and lifts up the man like a sack of potatoes.* Arsé-kun: Kay: That... That also works. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is that all we needed to do? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Let's head back. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Right, we gotta walk all the way back. Yech. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: Grif: I'll keep you safe for real this time. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why don't you, um... *he sounds nervous* Start by telling me what to do ab-about THAT! Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: *he points to a distant entryway, where a humanoid(?) thing stands. The Mummy.* Sheepy: Grif:....! Sheepy: Grif: *he grabs Kay and starts running in the opposite direction* Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunno about you, b-bu---Oh okay! We're running! Okay, all right! Sheepy: Grif: I can't face it in my current state! Arsé-kun: Yog: That is correct! It is far too strong to be dealt with at this time! Retreat! Sheepy: Grif: Right! Arsé-kun: *they get the FUCK out of dodge.* Sheepy: Grif: Successfully escaped! Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck that! Fuck that shit! Sheepy: Grif: Our quest is complete, let's just rush home! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd like that! Sheepy: Grif: Drop this guy off on the way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Where??? Sheepy: Grif: The theater. Arsé-kun: *Fast travel enabled. However, a cutscene will play at the border. Do you wish to continue?* Arsé-kun: *"Yes" is automatically selected* Arsé-kun: *Fast Travel brings them Right to the edge of the off-path, letting them slam through and back onto the normal path. Griflet, being used to this, is fine. Kay proceeds to slam straight into something- or someONE- immediately after stumbling. It'll take him a moment to register vision, as one eye is more or less shutting down while the other adjusts to the natural daylight* Sheepy: Bedi: —Ah...! Sheepy: Grif: It’s you. Sheepy: Grif: Kay? Are you alright? Arsé-kun: Kay: You have GOT to warn me for that shit! Sorry, Bedi! .... Why the fuck are you here?! Sheepy: Bedi: Because I heard you were going off the path! What were you thinking...?! You could've died! I wasn't going to sit around and let that happen! *For once, Bedi isn't just grinning and bearing his feelings! Scary.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Someone had to go with this fucking idiot! You think I wanted to either?! You see anyone else willing to do it? Sheepy: Grif: Hmm, but usually I work alone... Sheepy: Grif:...Not that I disliked having a companion. Arsé-kun: Kay: If I come with you again for some insane fucking reason, I want a face covering. Sheepy: Bedi: You aren't some kind of babysitter! It's not your job to go out and watch over people! Why do you insist on being a helicopter mom only when it puts your life at risk?! You could die! And your presence there doesn't make a difference anyway! It just means more bodies in the end! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, like you haven't?! And excuse you, my being there helped the idiot get a man OUT so *ahem* *flips off Bedi* I did do something, thank you very much! At least I didn't lose a whole limb doing it! OH WAIT Sheepy: Bedi:...! Arsé-kun: Kay: And yeah, no shit. It sucked! It sucked ass! Arsé-kun: Kay: But after some of the dumb bitch shit this man's said? Yeah, no, he's not allowed to be alone anymore. Stupid bastard thinks dying is ok. Fucking bitch asshole. Sheepy: Bedi: *he clutches Airgetlam tightly with his other hand* I... If you weren't there, it would've ended the same way. Now you're just chasing after someone else to prove that isn't true. Arsé-kun: Kay: So I can't make up for being useless by helping to save someone? Aight! Lets go get drunk! Sheepy: Bedi: You're going to die if you keep running unnecessary risks! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, like that'll be a problem. Sheepy: Bedi:....! Sheepy: *Bedi, without warning, punches Kay!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I deserved that. But I already GOT beat up for my hubris! Can I go home now? Sheepy: Bedi: Do what you want. According to you, I don't care, and it doesn't really matter either way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, Bedi, obviously you do or you wouldn't be here. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, you say your death wouldn't be a problem. You know better than I do. Arsé-kun: Kay: Let me just add another instance of "reckless dumbass" on my list of sins and shut up. Arsé-kun: Kay: Because HE'S about as charismatic as a wet paper towel *he gestures to Grif* It was my job to lure th' fuckin' twig of a man out of hiding. I did it. I really did, but I'm kind of an asshole. Y'know! The kind that keeps going until I get bitchsmacked? Y'know!! Sheepy: Bedi:...But... Sheepy: Grif: I would've just put him out of commission so I could've grabbed him. You didn't need to do that. Sheepy: Grif: Although, I suppose this is more pacifistic. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he shoots Grif a glare* .... Not helping me here, stupid. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm. How to help... Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Sheepy: Grif: The enemy was weak so I let it fight you for valuable experience. Sheepy: Grif: But after I realized you were weaker, I dealt with it. Arsé-kun: *>Kay will remember this* Sheepy: Grif: It's okay. You can gain experience by just being with me. I was rushing too quickly into things. Sheepy: Grif: Don't get hurt in the future. Arsé-kun: Kay: gee whiz. Sheepy: Grif: I nearly did regrettable things there. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sucks. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... No, tearing. Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't bother correcting him* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, how about you deal with your mission? Go. Finish that. Sheepy: Grif: You should go home. Go, go. Your face needs cleaning. Deflection. Sheepy: Grif: It kind of stings though. Too bad it doesn't work for internal wounds. Sheepy: Grif: You can't drink it or you'll die. Sheepy: Grif: Me, I tried it once to deal with internal injuries. It's listed as a consumable, after all. Sheepy: Grif: I... Sheepy: *Bedi's already begun walking away wordlessly. Shut up Grif* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Ugh. Look, Bedi, you're right and I appreciate it, but could you at least let me have the one try at helping other people? For once? Sheepy: Bedi: And putting your life at risk? If you died, I'd...! Just do what you want! Arsé-kun: Kay: Why not?? I've already done it enough goddamn times! It'll work eventually! Sheepy: Bedi: It's only a matter of time before you lose something truly precious to you because of your actions. Arsé-kun: Kay: I have two friends and no goddamn life. What the hell else is there to lose? My current record for all time low? Sheepy: Bedi: I... Sheepy: Bedi: I can tell you aren't going to budge from your viewpoint. You're already damaging your health. This isn't much different. I can't stop you either way. So... I'll stop trying. That's what you'd like, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not what I said. You deaf? Or just ignorant like Lucan? I gave TRYING to help someone the ol' college try, and I get it! I'm not built for it! Sheepy: Bedi: You aren't going to risk your life anymore? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Bedi: That's not what I... Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what can I do that won't somehow end in being lectured?? Sheepy: Grif: Humans give up after one or two failures. I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: This one does! We're not all juggernauts of willpower like you, moron! Sheepy: Grif: But you helped me. Sheepy: Grif: I'm bad with people. So you coaxed him out. I appreciate that. Thank you. Arsé-kun: *... Despite feeling every variation of the word "bitter", Kay appreciates this. He isn't replying to it, though.* Sheepy: Grif: I just threw you into the deep end and you drowned. That's okay. Maybe at a smaller depth you can start learning to swim. Sheepy: Grif: Although, the last time I went into water... Let's not go in water. Sheepy: Grif: Hey, I know. All you need is to be able to begin by practicing on a foe who won't hit you. Sheepy: Grif: You can practice on me. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's retarded. Sheepy: Grif: I'm a dummy. Sheepy: Grif: You punch me and I don't fight back. Like the wooden dummies. Sheepy: Grif: But I'm a flesh dummy Sheepy: Grif: Because I'm made of flesh. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go finish what you started before I deck you and shove my boot so far up your ass that you can taste it. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing... How capable you are. Show me your moves when I'm done. Sheepy: Grif: I'll be back soon without this man. You can then deck me and boot me. Arsé-kun: Kay: If I'm still here. Still debating it. Sheepy: Grif: You won't be home? Arsé-kun: Kay: Haven't decided. Sheepy: Grif: But I have "bonding with Kay" on my schedule for today. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't we do that already? Was all this not enough? Was me appreciating your sentiments not enough either? Fuck. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't worry about it. Sheepy: Grif: Okay, I won't. Sheepy: Grif: Make sure you treat your face. If you don't know how, I can do it. Sheepy: Grif: I've done it many times for myself. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll get it dealt with. Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Be safe. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, uh. You too. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I'm the most dangerous being on the path usually. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I was being polite, moron. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Polite... Sheepy: Grif: Kay can be polite... Hmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: Goddamn GO already, dipshit! Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Bye. *he heads off* Arsé-kun: *Kay drags himself off. He has no idea where he's going, but he sure is.* Sheepy: *Later on...* Sheepy: Holmes: --Are you Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, what's it to ya? *he leans over to see from his perch in a tree. his mood has not improved.* Sheepy: Holmes: Your friend was looking for you. He told me you went missing and asked me to find you. Sheepy: Holmes: Or he claimed to be your friend, anyway. I suppose I have no evidence backing that up. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Yeah, sounds right. Lemme guess: "Go home"? Sheepy: Holmes: You got it. Sheepy: Holmes: I can walk you back if you'd like. Sheepy: Holmes: I have jobs to do but I don't mind. Sheepy: Holmes: If not, make sure you head back soon. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah, I'll get going. Hold on. Sheepy: Holmes: Good. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets down. Holmes would recognize the thing in his mouth as a wood carving knife. and the thing in his hand as a work-in-progress carving.* Sheepy: Holmes: Hmm, maybe that's why he was concerned. Arsé-kun: Kay: ? *he takes the knife out* What? Sheepy: Holmes: Nothing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, if you're gonna call me a dumbass, just get it over with. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, then it's over with? Sheepy: Holmes: Well, let's head back then. Sheepy: Holmes: Unless you're going alone. Sheepy: Holmes: It's up to you, but student escort services are always open. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can manage. Thanks anyway. Sheepy: Holmes: You're welcome. Sheepy: *Holmes heads off.* Arsé-kun: *Kay does start going home, gradually, but he's taking his time.* Sheepy: *Understandable, Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Do we have the time to hit another plot pont? WE DOOOO* Sheepy: Holmes: --Good afternoon. Arsé-kun: Herb: Good afternoon, Detective. Are you here for an autopsy report? Sheepy: Holmes: You could call it that. Sheepy: Holmes: I've heard murmurings that you have something to do with the disappearances of bodies at the morgue. Sheepy: Holmes: Do you have updates that you wanted to submit? Arsé-kun: Herb: How ridiculous. I'm a medical examiner. I'm going to take them to do my job. If you'd like documents for the last dozen that I've done, I'll need to print them. No current updates. Sheepy: Holmes: Is that so. Sheepy: Holmes: I'd like the documents, yes. Arsé-kun: Herb: That's a shame. As you can see, both of my hands are currently occupied. Sheepy: Holmes: Then as you do that, I'd like to ask you a few more questions. Arsé-kun: Herb: Certainly, but no touching anything. Sheepy: Holmes: Worry not. I won't need to. What happens to the bodies after you work with them? Arsé-kun: Herb: After they leave my possession? Hell if I know. I'm not a graveyard worker. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, now that doesn't seem quite right. Sheepy: Holmes: You're sure about that? Arsé-kun: Herb: You know what I mean. I don't decide where they're buried and whatnot. Sheepy: Holmes: But you do decide if they are buried or not, don't you? Even if you aren't supposed to. Arsé-kun: Herb: Detective, I hate when you do this. What do you want? Did something happen that warrants my concern again? Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, I think it should warrant your concern. Sheepy: Holmes: I was informed you're reviving bodies. Sheepy: Holmes: If you're going to do science experiments deserving their place in horror movies, please do it outside of class where one of your little experiments doesn't try to get up in front of students. Arsé-kun: Herb: ... It was after class had already ended, first of all. Second, it was put down by my patron's child, and third? The movies already exist. Sheepy: Holmes: Exactly. You need not recreate them. Arsé-kun: Herb: Look, if some medical dropout can achieve it, then I absolutely deserve a second try at making it work! Sheepy: Holmes: Please do it in a better controlled environment. Arsé-kun: Herb: Let me just pay for that! Oh wait. I can't. My patron is a money hog. Sheepy: Holmes: However, it could have gotten up before class ended. Arsé-kun: Herb: Class! Was! Over! It did not get up until well afterwards! Sheepy: Holmes: That was coincident timing. It could have risen before class was over. Sheepy: Holmes: Do not endanger people with your experiments. Arsé-kun: Herb: It isn't getting up if it isn't injected. Sheepy: Holmes: How did another student see it, then? Arsé-kun: Herb: A student stayed behind with my patron's child as he discussed an irrelevant matter with me. Sheepy: Holmes: I see. Wait untik they all leave next time. Sheepy: holmes; I can't stop you but I can try to create some boundaries Arsé-kun: Herb: What do you think the barriers are for? Fun? Sheepy: Holmes: No. Sheepy: Holmes: Wait until the students leave next time. All students. Don't give them unnecessary fears about undead. Arsé-kun: Herb: Does it help if the student in question was more upset by the corpse than it being undead? Because that is very strange even in my opinion. Sheepy: Holmes: No. Sheepy: Holmes: Be more careful in the future. I would not like for rumors to spread and students to be concerned. Thank you. Sheepy: Holmes: Will you be more careful? Arsé-kun: Herb: Yes, yes. Now get out of my office. Sheepy: Holmes: I'll take your word for it. Goodbye, and good luck. *he exits* Arsé-kun: *Herb grumbles something about kicking students out after class and then goes back to work. His legit job. the glowing green stuff is not present* Sheepy: *Good, it's good to do your legit job sometimes!* Arsé-kun: *ok back to Kay and his tiring trek up the stairs. He's not feeling it. He's really not feeling it. Time to quit and use the elevator* Sheepy: *you do that, Kay!* Arsé-kun: *whys this bitch smell like flowers? did merlin practice magic in here?* Sheepy: *at least he can return to his place and rest!* Arsé-kun: *Kay pushes his dorm door open after kicking it in the right spot. who needs a doorknob when u have knowledge* Sheepy: *It doesn't take long for someone to hug Kay without warning!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ?! Sheepy: ?: Welcome back! I've been waiting for you! Sheepy: *It's a young girl with reddish blonde hair. Wrong dorm?* Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh-wh-why are YOU here?!? Sheepy: ?: *she tilts her head* I guess you wouldn't know, would you? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, I wouldn't! I've been out all day! Sheepy: ?: We're roommates now, 'roomie'!... I don't really like calling you that, so you'll still be Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: Aru, that's not funny, why are you here? This is a guy's dorm for four people max, anyway. Sheepy: Aru: Just as I said, I'm your new roommate. Sheepy: Aru: Teacher got a hold of someone who worked here, so it's all legitimate. Don't worry about that! Sheepy: Aru:...Although, let's be honest, he probably bribed them. Sheepy: Aru: If it helps any, it wasn't because of you. You're a pleasant coincidence! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, but I told some of the guys I don't have siblings. Awkward. Sheepy: Aru: But you have me. You also have Arthur and Arturia. Arsé-kun: Kay: Gosh, you really had to... Arsé-kun: Kay: Because it's easier to keep families together? Wait, no. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know. Sheepy: Aru: It's okay, you can have a "you tried" prize! *she gives him a flower* Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks? Sheepy: Aru: I'm here for Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: That is actually extremely worrying. What do you want with that shithead? Sheepy: Aru: He's my new teacher. Now I have two. Sheepy: Aru: Teacher said to learn from him for a while. Arsé-kun: Kay: Him? Responsibility? He's like a 70's wizard hippie. He doesn't do work. Sheepy: Aru: Yes, I met him and immediately realized that I'm just a plot device to teach it to him as he teaches me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fucking luck, but it doesn't mean I'm happy that you're here. I mean, sure, but this is a guy's dorm! Sheepy: Aru: So far, the three I've met have been, uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: Shit wizard, dumbass and Bedi? Sheepy: Aru: Yes. Sheepy: Aru: The second one, I gave him a gift, and he... Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, now I don't have to do it. The moron's, uh. A bit special. Sheepy: Aru: Who eats people's gifts?! Arsé-kun: Kay: *mocking grif* it restores my hit points Sheepy: Aru: Just, right then and there? Nobody eats flowers! Sheepy: Grif: It was tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't eat my sister's gifts you mon-- You bastard. Sheepy: Grif: But it's tasty. Sheepy: Aru: I worked hard to find these. You can only find them, well... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Well? Did you do the same dumb shit I did earlier? Sheepy: Aru: If I've grasped the situation, yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: By "Earlier" i mean several hours ago. Now please move. I need to pour the non-drinking alcohol on my face and burn it. Sheepy: Aru: *she shifts* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... wait hold the fuck on why were YOU going off?! Sheepy: Aru: The best materials are found off the path. Sheepy: Aru: There's flowers if you look for them, so I pick those, too. Sheepy: Grif: They're tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can you at LEAST bring someone with you??? Sheepy: Aru: Who would I bring? Arsé-kun: Kay: Who cares? Just don't do it alone. That's how you get fucked up. Sheepy: Aru: The creatures out there aren't so bad once you get to know them. Arsé-kun: Kay: One took Bedi's arm off! Sheepy: Aru: Well, that's true. Arsé-kun: Kay: All it takes is one in a bad mood and whoops! You're dead! Sheepy: Aru: I'm not so sure. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're the worst. One fucked up my vision permanently and you "Aren't sure"?? Sheepy: Aru: I just don't think they're all bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wanna see Bedi's face when you say that shit. Also, where is he? Sheepy: Aru: He was moping and worrying about you in his room earlier. Sheepy: Aru: I think I cheered him up a bit. Arsé-kun: Kay: Pain in my ass. *he pats Aru's shoulder on the way past. bye, annoying sister!* Sheepy: Grif: That's what my uncle calls me. Arsé-kun: Kay: wonder why. *he ducks into the pantry briefly and then knocks on Bedi's door* Sheepy: Bedi: *he doesn't sound happy* Come in. Arsé-kun: *Kay opens the door, takes a few steps in, and then lightly tosses a capri sun at Bedi. take the juice u stupid overworrying bitch* Sheepy: Bedi: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Got somethin' else but I ain't throwing it. Sheepy: Bedi: ??? Arsé-kun: *Kay puts the wood carving he'd made down on the nearest surface. It's... It's Fou! He did a good job on this one!* Sheepy: Bedi:...! It's cute...! Arsé-kun: Kay: For you, because I'm an asshole. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I appreciate it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thought you would. The guy you sent to complain at me caught me while I was finishing it. Sheepy: Bedi: I was just worried. I didn't know if you were coming back. Arsé-kun: Kay: Obviously. This is MY dorm after all! Sheepy: Bedi: I know, it’s just... Sheepy: Bedi: I’m sorry about what I said. Everything I said. Sheepy: Bedi: I just can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt. I think seeing you off the path after everything and seeing the injuries on your face made me blow up. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. Sheepy: Bedi: ... Especially since the only thing holding me back from pursuing you was Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, me too. But I don't want you doing the stupid shit! That's always my gig, and if you got hurt again I might honesty commit arson. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... But huh, Merlin vanished real quick once we showed up. Sheepy: Bedi: Um, arson...where?? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell if I know. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Real talk, though. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif kinda just recruited me to help rescue one guy and I thought "Hey, I've seen this man punch through bone. It'll be fine probably!" Arsé-kun: Kay: It was mostly okay? Shockingly? I think he's a repellant. I still absolutely hated it and don't wanna repeat it though! Sheepy: Bedi: So you won't do it again? Arsé-kun: Kay: Not willingly! Sheepy: Bedi: Have you treated your face yet? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope. Sheepy: Bedi: I'll do it myself if you won't. Arsé-kun: Kay: I just didn't get to it yet! Sheepy: Bedi: It might get infected. You don't know what was on those claws. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fair enough. Sheepy: Bedi: I'll do it if you won't. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, if you wanna do it so bad, just say so! Sheepy: Bedi: Give it to me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't bring it with me! Sheepy: Bedi: Then I'll get it. Sheepy: *Bedi leaves briefly before returning with the necessary tools.* Arsé-kun: *Medical supplies! Surprise tools that will help us later!* Sheepy: Bedi: *he goes to treat Kay's face!* Arsé-kun: *kay has a bad time. but less bad than anything else. it is tolerated* Sheepy: Bedi: I'm sorry about the stinging, but it's better than an infection. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, absolutely. Sheepy: Bedi: Should we bandage it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Without getting my everything else? I don't think so. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... I suppose injuries heal faster when exposed to the air, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: I know they heal faster when exposed to Merlin doing his job. Sheepy: Bedi: Right, let's talk to him then. Arsé-kun: *Merlin's sweater is slightly on fire while he stares at Aru. He's not angry. Just sort of disappointed* Sheepy: Aru: That's less flammable than I would have guessed... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I liked this sweater... Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck your sweater! Heal me, bitch! *classy* Sheepy: Aru: I'll try again without burning your sweater!... No promises I won't burn something else! Sheepy: Bedi:?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I asked her to show me what she already knew. It went about as well as when I ask you for a progress update! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... So not well. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe you should invest in clothes that aren't flammable. Sheepy: Aru: I'm sure they exist. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, they exist, made of what used to be called salamander furs! It's a very bad idea! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's known today as Asbestos! Sheepy: Aru: Well, this is a problem. Sheepy: Bedi: I try very hard, but I always slip up. Arsé-kun: Merlin: mistakes happen. Arsé-kun: Kay: My ass done get learned. Can somebody heal my goddamn face?? Sheepy: Aru: I could try, but there's a chance I could mess up. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, yes, let me put myself out first. Arsé-kun: *Merlin deals with this by taking his sweater off and stomping on it. Whatever works!* Sheepy: Grif: Another way to put out a fire is to not be set on fire to begin with. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You get it. But I save that for me, not my shirt. Arsé-kun: Merlin: right, right, heals. Coming up! Arsé-kun: *Merlin heals Kay. hp fully restored. the floor is flowers again* Sheepy: Grif: How? Sheepy: Grif: The floor is covered in plants... Sheepy: Grif:...*he bends down, plucks one of the flowers, and eats it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: It just kinda happens! Better to use the excess for something rather than just exploding things! Sheepy: *Aru is awestruck!* Sheepy: Aru: I want to learn how to do that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I get the impression it's better suited for you, anyway. Kay would probably prefer that too. Arsé-kun: *KAY WILL REMEMBER THIS* Sheepy: Aru: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's being a bitch Sheepy: Aru: I got that impression about him from Teacher... Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, he's become infamous. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How?? From who? Sheepy: Aru: From my teacher, of course. He told me to go learn from you. I feel like he'd be better suited, but maybe he's a little worried about you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: But who the hell is that? Who knows about me?? Sheepy: Aru: Primo. Arsé-kun: *Merlin blankly stares at her. The Merlin is processing complex abstractions* Sheepy: Aru: I've been learning from him for a while now. Sheepy: Aru: You know him, don't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I... No? Sheepy: Aru: He'd be disappointed to learn that. Sheepy: Aru: I'm surprised to learn that, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: If you mean someone I'm supposed to know, I absolutely don't! What kinda name is "Primo" anyway?? Isn't that an Adventure Time character? Sheepy: Aru: I wouldn't know that, but it seems like something he'd like. Sheepy: Aru: Should I tell you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Obviously!!! Sheepy: Aru: Well, I'll give you some hints, then. As you learn more about me, you'll learn about him, too. That's both a promise and a threat. Sheepy: Aru: He's an old man with an awful sense of humor. He's taught famous people in the past. Now he's teaching my siblings and me. ...Kay not included, of course. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wait, am I the only one excluded here?! Why??? Sheepy: Aru: Do you want to be included? Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't like being EXcluded! Sheepy: Aru: Well, I can talk to him about it, but he may just say, "it's the fate of a Kay to always be left out!" Arsé-kun: Kay: What the absolute fuck does THAT mean?! Sheepy: Aru: Well, think of one Kay who gets to be included. Arsé-kun: *Kay just frowns* Sheepy: Aru: Sir Kay of the Round Table got ordered around by his little brother. Sheepy: Aru: And Cain smashed a rock into his brother's head. Sheepy: Aru: Both because they didn't get to be included in importance! Arsé-kun: *Kay proceeds to throw a cushion at Aru* Sheepy: Aru: Ouch! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, so sorry! Cain instinct! Sheepy: Aru: You strive to be included by executing me...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: French revolution! Sheepy: Aru: But I'm not French! Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither was the queen, but here we are! Sheepy: Bedi: Cain instinct... Sheepy: Bedi: I can't really say I've ever had the urge to smash Lucan's head in with a rock. ...Does that make me Abel? How chilling... Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds right to me. Lucan's an ass. Sheepy: Bedi: I won't disagree with you. Sheepy: Grif: Hah. If someone hit me with a rock I would simply crush it in my hand. Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think a blow to your head would cause any damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't think there's anything to damage. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... Sheepy: Grif: The head is usually the weak point on an enemy. Sheepy: Grif: I will not tell you my weak point. Sheepy: Grif: Achilles was foolish for letting everyone know his name. Of course his Achilles' heel would be his weak point. It's in the name. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... There's so many things wrong in that one sentence.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The. That didn't get the name until after Achilles died. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That tendon was named after him, not the other way around. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Humans evolved to have tendons thanks to Achilles, hm. Humans must've been weak before that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: NAMED after, not CREATED after! Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif:....Can I just call it Achilles' heel? Sheepy: Grif: That name... it's too long. By the time I finish saying it, Achilles will be dead. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It IS called Achilles' heel! And what is THAT supposed to mean?! Sheepy: Grif: You said it was named "after, not created after"... Sheepy: Grif: That's a mouthful. If I told Achilles that an arrow was going for that, he'd die before I could finish. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I quit. Sheepy: Grif: No. Never quit. Never give up. Not until you've achieved your goals. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The spot Achilles was shot was, after his death, renamed to be called "Achilles' Heel". It was not called that before his death. Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: .......... Sheepy: Grif; Then what was it called? Arsé-kun: *Merlin pauses to look this up* Arsé-kun: Merlin: The calcaneal tendon. Sheepy: Grif: Hm.....but it's what goes into your bones........ Sheepy: Grif: You drink milk for it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. But whatever. I'm not a science major or anything! Sheepy: Grif: What is your major, then? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Art! ... Not artichokes! Sheepy: Grif: Really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yep! Sheepy: Grif: My Painting skill is Lv. 1. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you need that for combat, though? Sheepy: Grif: No, but I'm not only about combat. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's fair. Painting is hard. Sheepy: Grif: You have hobbies too, don't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, you got me. Sheepy: Grif: I have hobbies, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Pretty sure we all do. Sheepy: Grif: You have hobbies other than drinking? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ha ha, very funny. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes. Sheepy: Aru: People drink to survive, though. That's not really a hobby. Sheepy: Grif: I don't. Sheepy: Aru: Doesn't that kill you? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's Grif. He's special. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, maybe he gets his liquid from flowers instead. Sheepy: Grif: Tell me your other hobbies. Sheepy: Grif: Actually, I guess I will learn them as we bond. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I learned something fascinating from knife guy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? Sheepy: Grif: It seems that the man we rescued today is named Weiss and he's a painter. It also seems he's in a bad enough state that he had to be brought to Lucan's dorm. Sheepy: Grif: The hospital. Arsé-kun: Kay: That makes sense... He looked horrible. Sheepy: Grif: So if I'd solo'd the mission, I probably would've knocked his HP to 0. Sheepy: Grif: I am bad at words, but I am good at defeating my enemies. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, good thing I helped you, huh?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Good job. Sheepy: Grif: Next time, you should show up to get your own Fame points. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...? Did you not mention me helping you? Sheepy: Grif: I mentioned I did nothing. I got the response of, "don't be bashful". Arsé-kun: Kay: *he frowns* Sheepy: Grif: I am inherently bashful. I bash everything. Sheepy: Grif: I tried to explain this and that I had help. They were more focused on the target. Sheepy: Grif: This is the worst. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I agree. Sheepy: Grif: If information on this rescue spreads, I may be believed to be capable of missions like this I am not. I cause damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll have to swing by and explain my half, then. I'm pretty sure I'd be allowed to do that much. Sheepy: Grif: Do it. Sheepy: Grif: When you want to. Sheepy: Aru: You saved someone? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. Grif dragged me along. It sucked. Sheepy: Aru: I'm impressed! Arthur and Arturia might be, too. You could flex on them eventually. Arsé-kun: Kay: I really hope so! Sheepy: Aru: In the meantime, you can brag to me! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm allowed to brag? Sheepy: Aru: Sometimes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Right now? Sheepy: Aru: Sure. Arsé-kun: Kay: I survived off the path! I only got hit once! I managed to talk the guy down and I only cried once! Arsé-kun: *Kay seems excited* Sheepy: Aru: !!! Amazing...! Arsé-kun: *Kay starts retelling what happened. He skips a bunch of dialogue bc it isn't important (aka grif being fucking stupid), focusing mostly on the part where he did something* Sheepy: Aru: Someone was alive there all that time...? Also, how do you eat your artichokes...? They shouldn't be prickly in your stomach! Sheepy: Grif: With my mouth. Arsé-kun: Kay: Raw and whole like a fuckin' imbecile. Sheepy: Aru: N-no!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Right! I said I'd show you how to deal with that. Sheepy: Aru: Who does that?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sir Moron. Sheepy: Grif: I'm a 'Sir' now... *he appears flustered.* Ah... I've always wanted to be a 'Sir'... Arsé-kun: Kay: One of these days you'll realize "moron" isn't a compliment. Sheepy: Grif: It is a compliment. Arsé-kun: Kay: A moron is an idiot. Sheepy: Grif: To think you gave me a nickname... Sheepy: Grif: It makes me very happy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sir Moron, you're a dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: The biggest compliment is to be given a nickname. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, thanks to watching you, my Bartering level has increased to 1. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm gonna raise somethin' else, too. C'mon, I'm showin' you how to deal with an artichoke without being goddamn stupid. Arsé-kun: *stifled merlin laughter* Sheepy: Grif: Eh? Show me. Arsé-kun: *kay shows him. how? fuck if i know im not googling it* Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. So that's how you cook it. Sheepy: Grif: My cooking level has increased and I've learned a new recipe. Arsé-kun: Kay: So you better not eat it whole again, you fuckin' idiot. Sheepy: Grif: I see.. Sheepy: Grif: But what if I'm hungry? Sheepy: Grif: I can't cook sometimes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eat something else?? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Like an avocado. Sheepy: Grif: That requires no preparation. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Sheepy: Grif: You just take a bite. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hate this. So much. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: You don't do that either. Sheepy: Grif:...?! Sheepy: Grif: Could it be... I've been eating many foods wrong...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Grif: For example... bananas. Sheepy: Grif: People say they're good, but I... Sheepy: Grif:....They're too rubbery. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't eat the peel you stupid bitch Sheepy: Grif:....Peel? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uuuggggghhhhh! You're an idiot! Didn't your parents teach you anything?! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Survival and combat. Sheepy: Grif: My Dad went to great lengths to teach me flight. Sheepy: Grif: I was never any good at it. Arsé-kun: Kay: About living like a normal person! Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: No shit. He should get on that. Sheepy: Grif: I am learning it from observation. Sheepy: Grif: I am mostly around you, so I am mostly learning about normal life from you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: I learned from Lucan that normal people generally use spoons for foods like soup. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not asking what you did to learn that. Sheepy: Grif: I ate it without the spoon. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's still not as bad. Sheepy: Grif: I could construct a comfy cave. Sheepy: Grif: That's what Dad taught me Sheepy: Grif: That's how I made my room comfortable so quickly, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, and then stole all my cushions and called them soft rocks. Sheepy: Aru: Poor you... Arsé-kun: Kay: But whatever. Lesson over. Fuck off so I can clean the dishes. Sheepy: Grif: I will do so. Sheepy: *Grif exits* Arsé-kun: Kay: Aru, the drying towel's on a fridge magnet. Come make yourself useful for once. Sheepy: Aru: I'm useful usually...! *she grabs the towel and goes over to help* Arsé-kun: *hoooorrray, teamwork* Sheepy: *yes!* Arsé-kun: *we proceed to skip to the next day* Sheepy: *There's bickering in the kitchen...* Arsé-kun: *Kay just sighs. He already misses his quiet mornings* Sheepy: *What will you do, Kay?* Arsé-kun: *check it out, obviously.* Arsé-kun: Yog: --It is a required questline. You do require the given debuff resistance for the future seasons. That is to say, you're going to get sick if you don't! Sheepy: Grif: Hah! Sickness can't stop me! Sheepy: Grif: Abandon quest! Abandon quest! Arsé-kun: Yog: I cannot. This quest is required. Sheepy: Grif: No...! Sheepy: Grif: If I just focus on side quests, the main quest line can never stop me!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, just get it over with. It ain't shit. *he yawns* Morning, Aru, welcome to hell. Sheepy: Aru: Do you really need a talking microwave...? *she's tired and hungry. let her eat in peace, grif* Sheepy: Grif: No!! Sheepy: Grif: I refuse! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's his dad calling. He can't be assed to use a phone. You get used to it. Sheepy: Aru: I see... Teacher could do this, too. Arsé-kun: *Fou is investigating the microwave* Sheepy: Grif: Doctors are evil. All of them. Sheepy: Grif: They stick me with pointy objects and hit me with things, all while babbling about things. They poke at me and shine lights into me. Sheepy: Grif: And then... they expect you to pay them....! Sheepy: Grif: I'm already doing that by not biting their hand!! Arsé-kun: Kay: *he sighs* Do you want to watch me get mine done? It literally takes a minute. Sheepy: Grif: No...! That's how they get you! Sheepy: Grif: And then they run all sorts of tests on you to make sure you're "healthy"...! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's their job. That is literally in the job description. Sheepy: Grif: I do not like people touching me and getting in my space...! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's rough, buddy. *he just pats Grif's shoulder and passes him to obtain food* Sheepy: Grif: I'll bite any doctor who gets near me! Sheepy: Aru: Grif, would you bite Kay? Sheepy: Grif: ...? No, I like Kay. Sheepy: Aru: Then you wouldn't you cause problems for Kay? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, if you went with Kay and bit someone, you'd be causing him problems. Sheepy: Grif:....! Arsé-kun: Kay: She's goddamn right. That'd be a massive pain in my ass. Arsé-kun: Kay: And that isn't literal! Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: So don't go with you. Sheepy: Grif: But if you go, they might attack you with that hammer thing, so I have to be there to protect you from such a thing. Arsé-kun: Kay: It doesn't even hurt, you idiot. Sheepy: Grif: And yet...! They poke you and prod you. Clearly, they're plotting something! Arsé-kun: Kay: So are animal doctors plotting, too? The people who take care of pets when they're sick? They must be evil too by that logic. Sheepy: Grif: No, those are fine. They take care of animals. Arsé-kun: Kay: Human doctors are vets for people. Sheepy: Grif: ............ Sheepy: Grif: Name one time a doctor has helped you when you were sick. Arsé-kun: Kay: I got sick and they sent me home with a medicine prescription and a lollipop. I got to stay home that week. Arsé-kun: Kay: Also the time I NEARLY LOST MY EYE YOU MORON Arsé-kun: Kay: Who do you think dealt with the aftermath of that? Satan?? A dentist??? Cthulhu???? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Merlin, of course. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck no. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: He helped me. Arsé-kun: Kay: He couldn't stop blowing himself up until he was like twelve. Fuckin' moron. Sheepy: Grif: Oh, well that's not too bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Point is, no! No he did not! Sheepy: Grif: Well, that's too bad for you. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, good luck on your flu shot. Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fuck do you mean "Good luck"?! That's needlessly ominous! Sheepy: Grif: Just as I said. Good luck. Arsé-kun: Yog: By skipping this event, you may be unable to use a required facility in the future. Are you sure about this? Sheepy: Grif: Required facility? Arsé-kun: Kay: Oop, looks like you gotta come! Too bad! Sheepy: Grif: N-no...!! Arsé-kun: *muffled minecraft music from the microwave* Arsé-kun: Kay: You just gotta watch me get it done. I didn't say get it done yourself. Arsé-kun: Kay: Anyway? I got hurt on your mission. Karma's a bitch, pussy boy. Sheepy: Grif:...Fine. When? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How about right now? Sheepy: Grif:...Fine! Sheepy: Bedi: Don't worry. We'll be there to support you. Arsé-kun: *later!* Sheepy: *Grif is shaking all over* Arsé-kun: *Merlin offers him a flower* Sheepy: Grif: What? What is this for...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I dunno. I kinda expected you to just take it and eat it. I didn't think we'd get here. Sheepy: Grif: ...?! Sheepy: Grif: Uh... I'm not hungry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then hold onto it for later. Sheepy: Grif:...Thanks. Arsé-kun: *1x flower obtained* Sheepy: Bedi: I feel bad for the people who work here. They need more staff. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, same. They're doing their best but there's an underlayer of misery. Sheepy: Grif: I have to work harder to make everyone's lives easier... Arsé-kun: Kay: Stupid. You can't do everything. Sheepy: Grif: No. Not yet. Arsé-kun: Kay: You can't hire people to work. Sheepy: Grif: My bartering skill isn't high enough yet, yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're not the boss of the school. Sheepy: Grif: Why would I need to be a boss? Sheepy: Grif: Isn't it my job to fight bosses? Sheepy: Grif:...Do I die a hero or live to become what I detest the most...? Sheepy: Bedi: What... what do you detest the most? Sheepy: Grif: Doctors. Arsé-kun: Dr. Raphael: Now, now, that's just a bit cruel, isn't it? *here he comes. the bundle of sunshine himself. the man the myth the leg, it ends* Are we all a group, or separate? Sheepy: Grif: No. It's not cruel if it's true. Doctors run tests and ask you all sorts of confusing questions... Sheepy: Bedi: We're a group. Sheepy: Bedi: Partially because, ah... If you haven't met him before, it's important you get prewarning: he may try to bite you. Arsé-kun: Raph: That warning is greatly appreciated! Which of you would like to go first... *and then he spots Kay* Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Oh. Hello, Kay. I've been waiting for you! You have more than the shot to do today!~ Arsé-kun: *Now KAY is the one shaking* Arsé-kun: Raph: I'll spare you for now! You may go last this time, but if you run, you'll most certainly be caught! :D *this said without any trace of irony. cheerful with an undertone* Arsé-kun: Raph: Lets go in alphabetical order! Bedivere, would you like to go first? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't mind. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not, Kay. It's not about running faster than the bear. It's about running faster than your friend. Sheepy: Grif: If you use Bedi as bait, you can certainly flee. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, I'm not running... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, go, uh, go watch Bedi get it done. Sheepy: Grif: You're... You're sacrificing me to save yourself. Sheepy: Grif: I see... This is truly what it means to be a hero. Arsé-kun: Kay: N-no! I'm just not gonna be a good example..!! Sheepy: Grif: Fine! I'll let you take me away! You better put up a fight if you want to survive! Arsé-kun: Raph: I was going to leave you alone, but if you really insist, we can take that outside afterwards. Sheepy: Grif: Hah? You aren't going to shoot me, then? Arsé-kun: Raph: I feel like you have a serious misunderstanding of what "a shot" means in this case. But okay! Come along, both of you! Sheepy: *Bedi follows, relaxed. Grif is, for once, a bundle of anxiety.* Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes, people like you put me back in a chair and open my mouth for an hour. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's a dentist. Sheepy: Grif: If you put your hand in, I will bite it. Sheepy: Grif: What's a dentist? Arsé-kun: Raph: A doctor for your teeth. Sheepy: Grif: I don't need that. Sheepy: Grif: If I damage a tooth, I grow in a new one. Arsé-kun: Raph: Do you want them to get infected and rot in your mouth? Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Infected? Arsé-kun: Raph: Just continue as you already are. It isn't like you need to go constantly. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif:....Dad told me a ritual to prevent dentists from appearing... Sheepy: Grif: ...Perhaps this ritual prevents infection, too. Arsé-kun: Raph: Taking a wild guess? I'm gonna say yes. Sheepy: Grif: Then what is the doctor who snips-snips? Arsé-kun: Raph: .... The hairdressers? Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Perhaps... my vendetta isn't just with doctors. Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe it's with bad professionals! Anyway, Bedi, take a seat n' roll up your sleeve. You know the drill. Sheepy: *Bedi sits down and rolls up his left sleeve* Sheepy: Grif: Bad professionals are called villains. Arsé-kun: *Raph cleans off a spot with an alcohol wipe and then picks up the lil flu syringe. Idk why it is being described as "little", but it isn't HUGE either, so like, shut* Sheepy: Grif: Why did Kay seem afraid of you? He told me he didn't fear being shot. Arsé-kun: Raph: Am I legally allowed to answer that...? Sheepy: Grif: Law means nothing to doctors. Sheepy: Grif: They are chaotic, lawless beings. Arsé-kun: Raph: It means an extremely lot. We can lose our medical license if we're bad! Sheepy: Grif: So you don't have a medical license... Arsé-kun: Raph: If I didn't have one, I wouldn't be here NOW! Anyway, Bedi, good job and you're done. *he puts the bandaid on Bedi's arm. yaaay* Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I'll rejoin the others. *he leaves before Grif can register he's been ditched* Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: Well, I don't have a medical license, so I suppose I should not be here... Arsé-kun: Raph: No, you just can't work here. It isn't the same. Sheepy: Grif:......So a medical license is a bribe... Sheepy: Grif: I thought it was a scented thing you lit for medical purposes... Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I had four hours of sleep and most of what you're saying is not being processed. Sheepy: Grif: You speak of things I know not about. Sheepy: Grif: For example: "Medical license". Arsé-kun: Raph: Have someone else explain. I need to finish up flu shots and then Kay's bloodwork for the first time ever because he keeps avoiding it. Arsé-kun: Raph: *pause* Arsé-kun: Raph: shit wait Sheepy: Grif:...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: And no, it does not require grievous injury. Sheepy: Grif: Kay... works to receive blood? Sheepy: Grif: Amazing, I didn't think Kay worked at all! Arsé-kun: Raph: Bloodwork is testing the blood to make sure there's nothing wrong. Sheepy: Grif: I see. I haven't done this. Arsé-kun: Raph: I recommend it, but not now. Not today. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm an impatient patient~~~ *and he just comes in. rude. at least he pre-rolled his sleeve* Oh, Grif's still here? Sheepy: Grif: Your sleeve is high. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure is! Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did you not watch Bedi at all? Sheepy: Grif: Of course not. That would be rude. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Permission granted to watch! Sheepy: Grif: I didn't ask. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll buy you an apple pie if you do~ Sheepy: Grif:....Fine! Arsé-kun: *Raph just repeats the process with new supplies. Flu shot! It takes about 15 seconds and then it's over! Yay! Merlin looks bored.* Sheepy: Grif: You poked him with the stick... Arsé-kun: Raph: That's the entire process. The worst it does is make your arm slightly sore for a day or so. Arsé-kun: Raph: I said slightly, not unusable. Sheepy: Grif: Let's say I don't like the feeling. How long does it take for the antivirus to go to the rest of my body? Arsé-kun: Raph: It'll spread in an hour, but takes up to 2 weeks to develop the anti.. Did you call it antivirus? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That's what it is, isn't it? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Why would I call it the wrong name? Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, fine! I'll accept it. Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm glad you understand. This'll only take a minute. Arsé-kun: *It really does only take a minute. Grif takes 1 hp of damage. Griflet is given a lollipop* Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: Weapon obtained: Mini Mace. Arsé-kun: *Raph can't be bothered to correct this. He's got one more flu shot to deliver and then his shift is over* Sheepy: Il: Blood is actually a common feature in otome games. There's a lot of games where vampires and werewolves drink the heroine's blood, and others where the heroine treats one of the ikemen's wounds... But seeing this doesn't really inspire feelings of love... This implies that it's not about the blood, but rather about the act of the protagonist helping the ikemen out in whatever ways she can... Arsé-kun: Kay: But... Grooooss..! Sheepy: Il: And yet, the romantic CGs get my heart racing...! Arsé-kun: *Kay is Very Clearly looking Il straight in the face, and away from the nurse practitioner doing bloodwork. He is not happy about any of this* Sheepy: *Il is enjoying himself!* Arsé-kun: Kay: *he sighs* Look, am I allowed to look back yet or is it still going? Sheepy: Fran: You can look back now. I just finished. Let me just bandage the area. Sheepy: Il: Oh, bandages... Arsé-kun: Kay: dont Arsé-kun: *But Kay does sigh again, this time with relief* Sheepy: Il: They're popular, too. It's the brief appearance of skin, combined with the usually strong ikemen dropping their strong persona and embracing their gentler side... Sheepy: Fran: There, I've finished. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thank G- Arsé-kun: Raph: But you're not done yet. One more minute. Arsé-kun: Kay: D: Sheepy: Il: Ah, it's you. Arsé-kun: Raph: I was wondering where you were, Il-ness. *he thinks he's funny* Hate to stab you again, but give me your other arm. Sheepy: Il: I'm here with a new friend. Arsé-kun: *Kay hesitantly rolls up his other sleeve before seeing that it's the flu shot. This he can tolerate. Maybe* Sheepy: Il: He's Cai. Arsé-kun: Kay: Close enough. Sheepy: Il: He's like the man in the game Ignis was playing... Sheepy: Il: You were doing flu shots, weren't you? Sheepy: Il: Why do you not stop it before it has flown? It would make your life easier. Arsé-kun: Raph: .... *he just gives Il this flat look before giving Kay his flu shot.* Sheepy: Il: You can stop the flu by not letting it fly. Sheepy: Il: Wear a mask. Wash your hands. Get a flu shot. Sheepy: Il: Cover your face when you cough or sneeze. So on. Arsé-kun: Raph: What he said. Do you kids need anything else, or was that it? Sheepy: Grif: Do I need something... Sheepy: Grif: Are you a vet? Arsé-kun: Raph: ... I mean, that's not far off. A vet but for people. Sheepy: Grif: I'll ask my brother how people he is next time. Arsé-kun: *Raph wisely decides not to ask* Sheepy: Grif: Kay? Do you have anything? Arsé-kun: Kay: Kay wants to go home. Sheepy: Il: Homesickness... When the heroine feels homesick, the ikemen embraces her and says that he will be her home until she can finally return Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're done. That was all we needed! Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, then. Sheepy: Il: Have a safe walk home. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You stay safe too. Sheepy: Il: I am safe always. Arsé-kun: *They leave, I guess. Raph puts his stuff away, locks the necessary cabinets, pulls out a pillow from under his desk and takes a nap right there in his office. help this man* Sheepy: *Il prays for good dreams for him by humming a lullaby. Hopefully, this doesn't give everyone else good dreams right on the spot.* Sheepy: Grif: --Do doctors usually steal your blood? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that's normal. But why would you mention it??? Sheepy: Grif: Why do they want it? Sheepy: Grif: They've taken mine before. I didn't let them get away with it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you sure you're not the menace to doctors everywhere? Sheepy: Grif: They deserve it. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, not really. Sheepy: Grif: I don't like being poked and prodded at. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, that sucks. Sheepy: Grif: Like vampires? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, Grif. Sheepy: Grif: Do you do this every year? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes, Grif. Sheepy: Grif: To truly mesh within human society, I have to do this every year... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Perhaps... Humans aren't so great. Sheepy: Grif: No, even if I wanted to leave them, I couldn't. However, this... Hm. Arsé-kun: Kay: You fight horrible things and let them beat you up but that's the problem? Sheepy: Grif: Humans are fragile. Sheepy: Grif: I can't dismember the doctor. Sheepy: Grif: And anyway, doctors never know anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: But the anatomy professor is a "Dr." too, wasn't he? Sheepy: Grif: Yes, but I like him because Dad likes him. Arsé-kun: Yog: I have a great deal of respect for the humans that use their own time to help and heal others, thank you very much. Sheepy: Grif: I like Merlin, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But would you hate me if I ended up a doctor too? These are the real questions! Sheepy: Grif: No. I trust you. You helped me when I was hurt. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I get it. You need to be shown that they're honest and do good work. Sheepy: Grif: Doctors throw around diagnoses without knowing enough details. For example, they say there's something wrong with me for eating rocks but don't bother asking Dad why I'd do such a thing... Sheepy: Grif: I don't trust them. Sheepy: Bedi: No, I don't think details would change the fact you shouldn't eat rocks. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But dragons eat rocks, yeah? So it'd be normal maybe? Sheepy: Bedi: True... Sheepy: Grif: I won't trust doctors until they're trustworthy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fair enough! Sheepy: Grif: But if you become a doctor, I'll trust you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've considered it! Too much work. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Your major is disappointment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's actually art, but that's good too! Sheepy: Grif: Can I try it? Sheepy: Bedi: Art isn't a food. Sheepy: Grif: I want to try it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uh, sure, maybe later. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. We'll bond. Sheepy: Grif: I haven't figured out how to properly choose my dialogue during bonding experiences. I am still working at this. My Charisma is low, but maybe if I interact with you more, yours will rub onto me. Sheepy: Bedi: Make sure to continue working your arm so it doesn't get very sore. Sheepy: Grif: ........ Paimon, define working. Arsé-kun: Yog: noun. the action of doing work. Arsé-kun: Yog: He is suggesting you keep active as always as to prevent the shot from making your arm sore. This is a temporary debuff, but will reward you with an increased flu resistance. Sheepy: Grif: Why can’t I just drink something? Or equip something? Sheepy: Bedi: You can equip a mask to help prevent the spread. Sheepy: Bedi: Vitamin D can also help. Sheepy: Grif: Vitamin D... Sheepy: Grif: I don't know what that is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: vitamin d-eez nuts. *he's not even impressed with his own joke* Sheepy: Grif: So that's what it stands for. Sheepy: Grif: Why do they shorten it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It doesn't. I just like saying it. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... I've heard of this before. Sheepy: Grif: It's a trick. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's like updog. Sheepy: Grif: Updog? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Updog. Sheepy: Grif: Paimon, define updog. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... ...... It's updog. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Yog: It is a bit of wordplay based on "What's up, dog" in which another person is being referred to as "dog". The reply is usually "Not much, dog, what's up with you?". Arsé-kun: Yog: "Dog" is not literal. Sheepy: Grif: I am no dog. Arsé-kun: Yog: I repeat my previous statement. Sheepy: Grif: Why would he call me one? Arsé-kun: Yog: It is not an insult here. It is along the lines of "dude" in this case. Sheepy: Grif: Dude... Sheepy: Grif: I'm dude... Sheepy: Grif: That's really an awful nickname, isn't it. Arsé-kun: Kay: But you're okay with "moron"? Sheepy: Grif: Of course. You gave me this nickname. Sheepy: Grif: You wouldn't give me an ill fitting nickname. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah I would. Haven't you heard half the shit I call Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: he used my name for once. a momentous day in history. *he's being sarcastic* Arsé-kun: Kay: bitch Sheepy: Grif: It's accurate, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, yeah, you are a moron. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Out of curiosity, Grif... do you know what a moron is? Sheepy: Grif: Me. Arsé-kun: Yog: *helpfully* Informal noun: A stupid person. Similar words include fool, oaf, idiot, dumbass, clown, dunce, and dullard. Sheepy: Grif:...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: I was very clear in calling you an idiot on the first day. Sheepy: Grif: Kay... thinks I'm a clown? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, fuck clowns. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Then you don't think I'm a moron either. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sometimes you are. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sometimes you are. Sheepy: Grif: Are you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Grif: Then we can be morons together. Sheepy: Bedi: Is that really something to be pleased by...? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Bedi: Brute force only gets you so far. After a while, you'll need to use your head. Sheepy: Bedi: Otherwise, you'll hit a brick wall. Sheepy: Grif: And I'll smash it. Arsé-kun: Kay: With his head, probably. Sheepy: Grif: Use my head... to break the wall. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: Wouldn't that hurt? Arsé-kun: Yog: I do not recommend using your head to break a wall. Sheepy: Grif: Dad could use his head to break a wall. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, Kay could do it though. Arsé-kun: Kay: I would really prefer not to! Sheepy: Grif: Why? I was told you're hard headed. Arsé-kun: Kay: That means stubborn! Sheepy: Grif: Stubborn... Sheepy: Grif: I'm hard headed, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: yeah you are. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. We're actually very similar. Sheepy: Grif: The main difference is that you're better integrated into society. I'll learn how to do this too from observing you, along with Bedi and Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fuckin' luck. I'm still an asshole. Sheepy: Grif: But I like you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, uh, ok. Arsé-kun: *Great reply!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm back! And I promised, Griflet! *he hands griflet a box. it's warm. it smells like apple* Sheepy: Grif:.....It's warm. It smells nice. Sheepy: Grif:... *he slowly starts moving the box towards his mouth* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I bought you that pie like I said I would. Please do not eat the box. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The box isn't the edible part. Sheepy: Grif: Where is the edible part? Sheepy: Grif: Inside the box? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: It's in a box for safety. What a great idea. But it isn't safe from me. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, Kay. I found this gift and thought of you. Are you ready to see it? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Uh? I guess? *he is worried considering Grif's... everything* Sheepy: Grif: Hold out your hands, then. Arsé-kun: *Kay puts a hand out* Sheepy: *Grif takes something out of his pocket and drops it into Kay's hands. It's a shiny pebble.* Sheepy: Grif: I found this. Arsé-kun: Kay: Um. Thanks. Sheepy: Grif: Do you like it? Arsé-kun: *Kay blankly looks at him for a moment. The gesture is appreciated, but...* Arsé-kun: Kay: I guess it's nice. Sheepy: Grif: Good. I found it when I was bringing that man to the hospital. Arsé-kun: Kay: You stopped bringing a man to the hospital for a rock? Sheepy: Grif: He was in the museum all that time so he could wait. Arsé-kun: *Kay just sighs* Sheepy: *They finally return to the dorm.* Arsé-kun: *Garry has set himself up in the hallway for a long bout of Waiting. He's got a little orange wagon and several neatly stacked costume bags with him...* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Are you moving in? Arsé-kun: Garry: No. I'm starting deliveries, you see, and I figured I'd start with your dorm as thanks! Sheepy: Grif: Do you need help? Arsé-kun: Garry: While that would be nice, I think it's better if I keep at it. Thank you anyway! Arsé-kun: *Garry pulls a bag out of the stack and hands it to Grif. x1 Jabberwocky Costume Obtained.* Sheepy: Grif: Costume unlocked. Arsé-kun: *Garry gives out the other costumes as well. Something pink to Merlin, something white to Bedi, and something blue to Kay. Hooray.* Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you! Sheepy: Bedi: Grif, make sure to thank him as well. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Thanks. Arsé-kun: Garry: You're welcome. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Of course. This is my home. Sheepy: Grif: And you're sure you don't need help? Sheepy: Grif: If not, good luck. Arsé-kun: Garry: I'm fairly certain. I've done this the last two times, but again, thanks anyway! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: Have fun. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, Merlin. Sheepy: Grif: That pink is, eh... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hm? Sheepy: Grif: You. Sheepy: Grif: Very you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm glad you understand so well! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: The character fits as well, I think. Sheepy: Grif: Character? Sheepy: Bedi: The Cheshire Cat. Sheepy: Grif: I've never heard of him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'know, like... *he puts the pink cat ears on his head* Nyaa~! Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif:...Nyaa. Arsé-kun: Kay: stop Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: It sounded wrong. Sheepy: Grif: I said it wrong? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The only way to say it wrong is to not make a cat noise! Myah! Mrrrrow! Cat! Sheepy: Grif: Cats say... "cat"? Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrraow! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, no, they usually don't, but I thought you'd get the idea! Sheepy: *An unfamiliar cat joins Fou. Something feels very off about it, like it's something imitating a cat without knowing what cat is, but being close enough that at first glance it looks like a normal cat* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Sheepy: Cat: Cat! Cat! Arsé-kun: *Fou smacks the other cat* Sheepy: Cat: ......... Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrrrrw! Sheepy: Bedi: Where did this cat come from...? Sheepy: Cat:..... Sheepy: Cat: *honk* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'know, I think this is a bird. Sheepy: Cat:?! Sheepy: Grif: He's not a bird. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Griflet? I thought your pet was a bird. Sheepy: Grif: I have no pet. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan is my friend. Sheepy: Grif: He's a water. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Rrrrright. Sheepy: Grif: What? Try pouring water on him. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't feel like cleaning right now. *he decides he's had enough of this situation and retreats to his room* Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: I see. He must be tired from today. Sheepy: Grif: I'm not. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good for you! Sheepy: Grif: Are you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. We have so much more time before the sun goes down, and that's not even a limiter! So what are we doing?? Sheepy: Bedi: Personally, I'm doing homework. Do you have anything due, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, but I'll do it later. Sheepy: Bedi: By doing your homework when you get it, you can spend more time having fun without worry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: By doing it later, you get to have more fun NOW! Sheepy: Bedi: But I'd spend less time worrying about your deadlines before asking you out if I knew you had finished your homework. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ugghhh! Sheepy: Bedi: Aren't dates more fun when neither of us are worried? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, you have a point... But there's so much! Sheepy: Bedi: On what topics? If you're having trouble understanding the concepts, depending on the topic, perhaps I could help. Or... well, he may be busy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have over fifty questions due. Tomorrow. It was assigned yesterday. They all have multi-parts. My professor is satan incarnate. Arsé-kun: Merlin: There needs to be homework quality control! Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Which professor? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kashihara! It's always him! Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Bedi: And it's too late to drop, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I need this class. I literally can't. Sheepy: Grif:........Satan incarnate... Sheepy: Grif: I see. So as my duty, I must... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't hurt the guy unless he's actually a bad guy! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y-you don't wanna hurt a normal human if he is, right? Sheepy: Grif: Normal human? Sheepy: Grif:......... Sheepy: Grif: You... Your insight is so low. Arsé-kun: Kay: *from his room, which notably has the door open* Kick his ass! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I said "if", not "he IS"! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I will. Sheepy: Grif: And you know who he is, don't you? Sheepy: Grif: Unless... you really don't...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If he's bad, can I not do the homework? Sheepy: Grif: He's worse than bad. He's my uncle. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, jeez, seriously?! Sheepy: Grif: Of course. Sheepy: Grif: He probably doesn't read your assignments. No time. He has three jobs and he needs to also toy with people. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I will get revenge for you.

[omegawizardposting]

I think the reason behind multiacc not allowed in FR is because if already-existing users make more accs, new ones might miss their chance to join. Since the site is pretty small and with a lot of glitches already, more users will make the staff's work harder, and that may delay or even minimise joining days. I can't really explain it well but it was explained by the staff once I think.

Ok, but I feel like that’s the staff’s fault for being HIGHLY INCOMPETENT.

The site’s been up for four years, and there are still major glitches that have yet to be dealt with. I cannot think of a single breeding sim that has E V E R taken this long to iron out at least the major glitches (and I’ve been around for a goodly number of breeding sims and pet sites). Those are usually handled ASAP.

How long were we without forum search? Have you seen the current state of the log-in? What about the plethora of coliseum glitches? All of these things should have been taken care of FROM THE VERY START.

None of FR’s staff really seems to know how to run a site, and it shows.

Just the fact that we are still, FOUR YEARS LATER, in limited registration is a sign that maybe staff aren’t doing their jobs well. We wouldn’t have to worry about “minimizing joining days” if we didn’t have joining days and were in open registration, like the site should’ve been FOUR YEARS AGO.

What they need is more competent staff–or maybe just more staff in general. Right now, the game is getting stale for a lot of people simply because of glitches, poor communication between staff and community, and clunky features that make the game frustrating at best, a miserable slog-fest at worst. I’m only still on-site ‘cause I’m invested in my lore, and when someone asks me if it’s worth it to sign up, I tell them, “No, not really, not unless you are absolutely desperate to play Flight Rising.”

The economy’s in shambles, the coliseum is an abomination, people are running out of lair space because making money for many users (esp. disabled ones) is unnecessarily difficult and the cost of lair slots is NONSENSICAL (seriously, a lot of the issues with the economy would be fixed if they’d change the lair system up/add lair tabs/allow multiple accounts/JUST GIVE US MORE SPACE AT REASONABLE FIXED PRICES), and, having been on Flight Rising all four years, I’m not taking any excuses from staff when they have shown us time and time again that they are incompetent.

I appreciate the effort they do put in, they all seem like really nice people, but they aren’t running things very well, and that’s just a fact. They need help. They needed help four years ago. They probably never expected Flight Rising to get this big, but they should have planned for if it did, and they didn’t, and that’s poor business sense.

To be honest, at this point, I’m kind of waiting on the whole site to just shut the fuck down one day, because I ‘dunno if staff can pull it out of the toilet. I don’t think they have the funds to hire more staff (particularly competent coders), and fewer people are putting money into the site, because it’s such a mess.

Hell, if I knew how to code, I’d do it for free just to save a site with so much potential that means so much to so many people, where I met so many good friends and had so many good times.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but I’m just tired of excuses, y’know? Changes need to be made on Flight Rising, and they aren’t being made, because staff doesn’t know what they’re doing–and that’s frustrating to me, as someone who does love the site, who has put a lot of time and effort into it. It’s so very, very frustrating.

[geimei]

alright, so this is a very very simple question... but since geisha are mysterious and lots of people have prejudice against them, i don't want to simply google this and find an answer that's not exactly correct. so here's the very simple question; what is it exactly that geisha do? why are people prejudiced against them? thank you so much! sorry i couldn't ask anything more interesting...

Your question is not boring at all! A lot of people wonder what a Geisha’s job intails and have prejudices or misconceptions against them, so it’s actually a great opportunity to refute them.

Let me first explain what Geisha do as part of their job. Geisha are highly-skilled traditional Japanese entertainers and artists. They are trained in traditional Japanese dance, singing, several instruments (shamisen, several drums and flutes, some even play the koto and the kokyū), the tea ceremony, ikebana and calligraphy. They take lessons at a special Geisha-school in their district every day and continue to do so throughout their entire career, as they view art and performance as an ongoing process.

Geisha-in-training are called Maiko (dancing child) in western Japan and hangyoku (half jewel) in and around Tokyo. You sometimes also find the more general term oshaku. They dress much more colorful and flashy than their older Geisha sisters to highlight their youth and childishness. A girl becomes a Maiko after about 1 year of training as a Shikomi, most Maiko debut at age 15 or 16 directly after completing the mandatory 9 years of primary and middle school and are ages 15 to 21 (22 is the max), hangyoku usually debut after high school and are ages 18 to 25. After that, the girl stays a Maiko for about 5 years and then, after her completed apprenticeship, becomes a Geisha and is considered a fully-fledged artist. A woman usually becomes a Geisha at age 20 or 21. Geisha dress much more subdued than Maiko to symbolize that they are adult women and they are quite easy to tell apart once you know what you have to look out for. Geisha are called Geiko (”woman of art”) in western Japan.

Geisha entertain at ozashiki, Geisha-parties, at ochaya, tea houses or sometimes high-class traditional restaurants called ryootei. They will dance and perform music at the party and have discussions about art, music or current events with their clients. Depending on what kind of party you want it to be, Geisha can also perform drinking games and have the party become more lively. All in all, a Geisha does everything in her power to make sure that her clients have a great time.

Geisha live in designated Geisha-districts, called hanamachi or kagai (”Flower towns”). Before WWII even small towns had their own hanamachi and Geisha lived and worked everywhere across the country. The most famous Geisha were and still are from Kyoto, Tokyo, Osaka, Niigata, Kanazawa, Nara and Atami.

Maiko and young Geisha live at okiya, Geisha-houses. The proprietress, the okaasan (mother) treats them like their own children and raises them to become independent and successful Geisha. She pays for their lessons and living expenses, which the girl has to pay back during her career. Once her debts are settled, she becomes independent and moves out of the okiya. An independent Geisha has to have her own collection of high-class, handmade kimono, obi and hair ornaments and are very succesful.

Historically, Geisha entertained mainly wealthy merchants and sometimes aristocrats and later on also politicians. During the Edo-Period, the merchant class was big and very wealthy and had the means to support them. At their height around 1900 over 80,000 of them worked in Japan. Today, Geisha still mostly entertain wealthy buisnesspeople. Their numbers are down to about 1,200, but have been slowly rising over the last 10 years after a rapid demise in the eighties and nineties.

A lot of people, especially in the west, still think that Geisha are high-class prostitutes. This has several reasons and I’m going to talk about the most important.

1. The most important reason for the misconception stems from the time right after WWII. During this time, Japan was occupied by American soldiers after they had lost the war to them. A lot of big cities were destroyed, many people had died during air raids or from starvation, the economy was in shambles and many men had died during the war or were still missing. It was a time of despair for most Japanese and many women were forced to become prostitutes to survive and often even support their whole family.

Most of the clients of these women were American soldiers, because they belonged to the few people who could still afford to pay a prostitute. Back then, Geisha were a symbol of Japan already, being popular postcard-models and appearing in a lot of fiction of the time, so most American soldiers knew a little bit about Geisha.

They could, however, only rarely tell a Geisha apart from an ordinary women wearing a kimono. Since kimono were still the everyday-wear of the time, they thought the women they were sleeping with were Geisha and the women soon realized that they could achieve higher prices when they presented themselves as Geisha to the soldiers and started acting the part.

When the occupation ended and the soldiers returned home, they told their friends and family that they had had a (sexual) relationship with a Geisha in Japan and that is an important reason as to why this misconception spread to fastly across the west.

2. Another reason is the so called “double registration”. As I’ve said before, hanamachi used to exist all over Japan. The vast majority of Geisha lived a pretty good life: Although their schedule was extremely hectic and live was certainly not easy, they could achieve financial independency and fame and meet a lot of influential people and form conncetions through their work. Geisha can also work for their entire lives, if they want to do so. There is no retirement-age for Geisha, so they had a very secure job.

Geisha could also retire and start their own okiya or tea house or start working at a restaurant or a tea house as a server. They also often got married to rich and influential men.

However, not all Geisha had it so well. There were some small towns in which Geisha were struggling to survive, because the economic situation was so tough. The towns lacked enough wealthy merchants and visitors to support them. This was the reason why Geisha in some towns were forced to become registrated as both a Geisha and a prostitute to survive.

While these Geisha were still artists like the Geisha in bigger, more economically stable towns and cities, they also had to sleep with their clients to make extra money to survive.

A lot of these poor, small town were Onsen-towns, seaside-resorts that were unpopular and lacked a steady stream of visitors.

Although the vast majority of Geisha never sold sex and even the majority of Onsen-Geisha (Geisha working in said Onsen-towns) never did, this tarnished the reputation of Geisha.

Prostitution was outlawed in Japan in 1956, so doube-registration doesn’t exist anymore today.

3. The whole mizuage-issue. I’ll have to go deeper into history with that one. First of all, there are junior and senior Maiko. Junior Maiko wear the wareshinobu hairstyle and a predominately red collar, senior Maiko wear the ofuku hairstyle and a predominately white collar. Today, a girl is promoted from junior to senior at age 18, before WWII, when Maiko were still much younger, this happened around 15 or 16; generally when a girl was starting to look older and was deemed a young woman by her older Geisha-sisters.

When a junior Maiko becomes a senior Maiko she has her mizuage ceremony (”hoisting the water”). During this ceremony, the topknot of her wareshinobu hairstyle is symbolically cut open by friends and okiya-family-members. The okaasan and the girl hand out presents to ochaya she frequents, okiya she has relationships with and some close clients and she’ll start to wear the ofuku hairstyle and a whiter kimono-collar afterwards. It is a simple coming-of-age ceremony symbolizing that the Maiko is recognized as a young woman from then on. Historically, this also meant that a Maiko was now old enough to marry and proposals could be made, which she could accpet or decline at free will.

However, Oiran also had a ceremony of the same name. Oiran were high-class prostitutes in old Japan and are extinct today. They were also highly-skilled artists and trained in the arts of the nobility. They had a coming-of-age ceremony of the same name (why the name is the same as with Geisha is unknown, but it’s probably because the quarters of Oiran and Geisha were close by), that intailed the ritual deflowering of the young Oiran by a man who paid highly for being her first sexual partner. This ceremony was also performed by yuujo, ordinary prostitutes, and some double-registered Geisha.

This gets confused a lot, because these two ceremonies have the same names and is one of the most persistens misconceptions when it comes to Geisha. The novel and movie “Memoirs of a Geisha” also mixes this up and portray mizuage completely wrong, so I would highly advise you to not watch it, at least not until you’ve gathered some futher information.

4. Danna. Danna are people who sponsor one particular Geisha they are fond of and monthly pay her a privately agreed on amount of money to help her pay for her lessons and other living expenses. While danna are very rare today, back before WWII most Geisha had a danna, because there were so many poeple willing and able to sponsor Geisha back then and it would have been a sign of unpoularity if you didn’t have one.

People interested in becoming a Geisha’s danna can inquire via the proptriess of the teahouse they meet her at if she would be interested. If the Geisha shows interest, okaasan, Geisha, the proprietress of the ochaya and the possibe danna will get together and discuss the finances. If they come to an agreement, the Geisha will accept him as her danna. A Geisha can always end the relationship and pursue another, if she wishes to do so.

Being a danna has certain adavantages. Your inquiries to see the Geisha will always be handled first before anyone else’s and you can also “buy out” a Geisha’s time and spend it with her in a more private setting or just buy her some time off (Geisha have very little time off, especially during odori-season).

It is also a status symbol and a great way to show off one’s wealth and influence. One has to consider that, during the Edo-Period and even for a long time afterwards, Geisha and the arts they performed were seen as modern entertainment, just like we see movies, shows or pop-music today, so Geisha were very popular, famous and interesting for a lot of people. It was after WWII that people started to see Geisha as symbols of old Japan. Being the danna of a talented Geisha who would entertain oneself and one’s friends was a major status symbol.

There are two things that made westeners suspicious about this: Firstly, before WWII, pretty much all danna were male. This is a fact, because men held almost all economic power back then and were the only ones with the means to support Geisha. Westeners of that time had an extremely conservative and moralistic view of sexuality and many considered themelves to be superior to the “dirty and immoral” Japanese people, so they immediately thought that Geisha had sexual relationships with their danna and that they were bascially waiting to be “bought” by a man. (Today, a large and increasing part of Geisha’s customers are female.)

Secondly, some Geisha DID have romantic relationships with their danna. Mineko Iwasaki, Japan’s most famous Geisha of the 20th century described this very well in her book “Geisha of Gion”: “You can’t put talented, beautiful, elegant women together with rich and powerful men and expect nothing to happen. Romantic entaglements happen all the time, some leading to marriage and others to heartache.”

Of course some Geisha fell in love with their clients and vice versa. This was accepted and even encouraged in the hanamachi, as these relationships might lead to the birth of a girl who could also become a Geisha one day.

So if a customer and a Geisha had romantic interest for each other, the man, if he had the financial means, naturally would try to become the Geisha’s danna. By being her danna he could spend more time with her and support the woman he loved in her career, so this was completely logical.

However, the majority of Geisha and danna didn’t have any sexual or romantic relationship. If they did, it was based on mutual attraction for each other and was not forced in any way. Both parties could always end the relationship at any time and enter another, if they wanted to.

The fact that Geisha are very private and don’t talk a lot about their profession adds to the “suspiciousness” in the eyes of a lot of people.

In fact, Geisha are so “mysterious” because they are supposed so remain exclusive. A lot of their regular clients book them because the are so exclusive and they can be sure that nothing that happens or is said at an ozashiki ever leaves the room. If Geisha became accessible to everyone, they would lose a lot of customers.

Geisha today are torn between doing publicity-work, being more accessible and understandable to the “common” people and getting new applicants, while still keeping an aura of exclusivity.

I hope I could answer all of your questions! If you have more, feel free to ask them! Have a nice day!

[silent-of-spirit]

Where's our favorite story teller, Varric, among all of this? What are his feelings on Tevinter's rule over the marches? And does he still keep the company of heroes like Hawke and the Herald?

Snippet snippet!! Hope you enjoy angel

Also @dadrunkwriting

The Hanged Man was busier than usual,with the citizens of Lowtown and Darktown flocking to it like abeacon in avoidance of the Imperium soldiers prowling the streets andalleyways. They were vicious- seizing people at random to sell intoslavery, and the economy was in shambles. Kirkwall was becoming evenmore of a shit-hole than it already was before all of this began.

The City-States had fallen to Tevinterone by one, their leaders hardly even putting up a fight. They hadjust handed them to theEmpire without a second thought, and it turned Varric's stomach. Itwas lucky that The Hanged Man was tucked back in a forgotten alley,the entrance fallen into such disrepair that the soldiers neverlooked twice at it. It had become a haven for the elves of Kirkwallin particular- as they were the ones most often kidnapped and sold.

Andraste'stits, he was tired. The twins were too. Marian had fallen asleep onthe bench they had chosen, head firmly in his lap and snoring softlydespite the noise. Garrett had wandered off to get them more drinkswith his usual carefree charm, but he couldn't hide the dark bagsbeneath his eyes.

It hadbeen a very difficultfew days. They had spent that last few months trying to uproot Teveneinfluence in Kirkwall- to send them back from where they came,striking from the shadows.

Theywere making progress.

Butthey were ambushed one night in the alleys of Darktown. Bethany wascut down without a moment's hesitation the instant she showedresistance. Garrett had roasted the Tevene soldiers on the spot in ablazing inferno, raging with power Varric had never known the manpossessed. Marian ran to the body of her sister, clutching her inhorror as she tried to stop the blood. Her bloodcurdling scream wasfilled with so much grief that it tore his heart to shreds, and itwas all he and Garrett could do to drag her away and get to safety.

Thiswas the first time she'd slept since then. He looked down at her withfondness and sadness, stroking her hair gently. He loved Kirkwall,but he was starting to wonder if it was past redemption. He had heardwhispers that Antiva had also been taken. With the influencespreading so far- how could they hope to take back their city? TheImperium would likely just send soldiers to crush it under foot atthe first sign of real rebellion, and then where would they be?

Hesighed and leaned his head back against the wall, letting his eyesslide shut. He wasn't the thinker- that was always Bartrand. Varric-well, he wrote stories and played at hero, and now Bethany was dead.Bartrand was dead. Leandra was dead. Tevene soldiers were tearingKirkwall apart to find them, even more so after the discovery of thescorched bones of the missing patrol.

Thebench creaked as Garrett settled back onto it next to him, offering afull mug of ale. Varric gave him a small smile and accepted it,taking a large swig. It wasn't good, but it was what they had beenable to smuggle in without attracting attention.

“What'sthe plan?” The mage asked beside him, voice low and quiet. Varriclet out an amused huff.

“Fuckif I know.”

“Wecan't stay here.” Garrett said, staring into his mugcontemplatively. Varric took a deep breath.

No,they couldn't stay. Not anymore.

[45news]

The world is gripped by the coronavirus pandemic. At time of writing there were about 225,000 confirmed cases in total, and 9,300 deaths. Europe is for the moment the epicenter of the outbreak, particularly in Italy where the virus has overwhelmed the health care system, but dozens of other countries are only a week or two behind on a similar track, including the United States.However, there are major divergences between the performance of different countries. Rich and middle-income East Asian countries like Taiwan, Vietnam, and Singapore have managed to nearly halt the outbreak in its tracks, while more ramshackle countries like the U.S. and U.K. have botched it almost beyond belief.While it is obviously too early to conduct a full accounting of what works and what doesn't, some broad lessons about best practices are still apparent. America will need to learn these lessons quickly if it wants to save itself from potentially horrifying outcomes, both now and in future pandemics.It's fair to say there are three broad levels to any pandemic response, each built on top of the other. The foundation is the national health care system, which provides the necessary broad access to testing and treatment. The second is the state's administrative bureaucracy and welfare state, which coordinates additional response measures. That means stuff like setting up mass testing checkpoints at border crossings and around the country, securing stockpiles of necessary medical supplies, constructing emergency hospitals, and so on. It also means deploying income support to individuals and businesses should mass lockdowns or quarantines become necessary, to keep people from being ruined financially and the economy ticking over. The third is citizen awareness: The population must be ready to upgrade their hygiene habits, accept drastic restrictions on movement, and avoid gathering together, so transmission is limited.Of all these, mass testing deserves special emphasis, because without it any emergency response is all but hamstrung. A nation cannot fight an epidemic without knowing where the disease actually is.The best-performing countries, however, excelled on all three levels. Taiwan has a Medicare-style single-payer system (indeed, it was actually based initially on America's Medicare system, except made universal), which allowed them to deploy testing, treatment, and quarantine without any fuss. They also had pandemic response plans drawn up after the SARS outbreak in 2002, which had been regularly reviewed and practiced. Finally, their citizens had been educated and prepared to take any epidemic seriously, so that people did not try to escape lockdowns and spread the disease further.Even middle-income countries can manage this. Vietnam, whose per-capita GDP was only about $6,600 in 2018 (or about 12 percent as much as the U.S.), squelched its initial epidemic with a lightning-fast deployment of mass testing, contact-tracking, quarantine, and public education measures (though it has since been dealing with new infections from foreign travelers). If the state is on top of the situation, mass lockdowns and the associated economic devastation can be limited or avoided.European countries were considerably behind the curve. Most have good enough or better medical systems, but their bureaucracies were caught flat-footed on the response. Italy has a world-class health care system, and the state actually moved quite quickly to put through testing, lockdown, and quarantine measures, but it simply wasn't fast enough to halt the outbreak. Worse, Italian citizens initially did not take the crisis seriously enough. Many resisted social distancing advisories and continued going out to public gatherings when the epidemic was in its early stages — encouraged by mixed messages from some authorities. Notice of a mass lockdown in northern Italy leaked before it could be implemented, and thousands fled to the south, where they spread the disease. And once an outbreak has gotten out of hand, even the best health care system in the world will be overwhelmed, because none are prepared to treat such gigantic surges of critically ill patients.Still, Italy is now working to the absolute utmost to fight the crisis, and appears to have slowed the growth of new cases. Other European countries, belatedly jolted into action by the Italian example, are taking drastic steps to limit disease transmission, build up their testing and treatment capacity, and keep their populations protected in the meantime. Here the famously generous European welfare states come in handy — countries like Denmark and Norway already have generous sick leave so infected people do not have to come to work, plus unemployment benefits to catch people who lose their job, and so on. These countries were also quick to pass business support measures to limit layoffs and prevent bankruptcies until the crisis passes.The United States, by contrast, has faceplanted on every single aspect of the response. Our health care system is a bitter joke by Taiwanese or Italian standards. We do not even have universal coverage, and what coverage we have is a usurious, fragmented, Kafkaesque nightmare that routinely bankrupts people who get sick. President Trump's direct response has also been horrifically bungled. We still do not have enough tests at least two months after we should have had them. He has not secured supplies of vital equipment like masks and ventilators, and hospitals are already running short. He did not even start activating the Army Corps of Engineers until a couple days ago. Hospital ships that Trump boasted were on their way turned out to be docked for maintenance and will take days to get moving. An economic support measure (which contains some emergency paid leave and unemployment insurance provisions that are worse than what most European countries have in normal times) is bogged down in Congress.Perhaps worst of all, Trump, Republican politicians, and right-wing media consistently downplayed the epidemic for weeks as it gathered strength. As the virus quietly spread through the population, Trump was still claiming "The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA," and conservative media was claiming it was no worse than the flu. Just in the last few days, Republican hack propagandists like Sean Hannity have pivoted on a dime from "I see it, again, as like, let's bludgeon Trump with this new hoax," to "this program has always taken the coronavirus seriously. We've never called the virus a hoax." The result is a persistent partisan split in how likely Americans are to understand the threat posed by the outbreak.At any rate, this all suggests the sketch of a broad policy agenda to fix this outbreak and head off future ones. First, the wretched American health care system needs to be sharply augmented on an emergency basis and eventually replaced with something that actually works, like Medicare-for-all. Second, the federal government is in shambles and needs a total overhaul. To start with, we should copy Taiwan's pandemic systems so that response teams and supplies are always ready to go on a moment's notice. More broadly, state capacity, which has been gutted by decades of conservative austerity, anti-science, and anti-expertise dogmatism, must be rebuilt across the board. Conservatives have insisted for decades that the government is all but useless, and today we are all paying the price. Third, Trump should be turfed out of office and the conservative movement should be comprehensively defeated politically. It turns out there are some serious downsides to having a narcissistic reality TV host in charge of the country.I have little hope that very much of this will come to pass. But in a crisis, sometimes what seemed impossible can happen very quickly. Let's hope somebody is trying to learn the lessons Taiwan and other Asian democracies are teaching us.Want more essential commentary and analysis like this delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for The Week's "Today's best articles" newsletter here.More stories from theweek.com Top coronavirus doctor puts head in hands when Trump mentions 'Deep State Department' at briefing Bloomberg's last FEC filing shows he spent nearly $1 billion on his failed presidential run Netflix establishes $100 million fund for entertainment industry workers affected by the coronavirus pandemic

from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://ift.tt/33wrRhM

[7newx1]

The world is gripped by the coronavirus pandemic. At time of writing there were about 225,000 confirmed cases in total, and 9,300 deaths. Europe is for the moment the epicenter of the outbreak, particularly in Italy where the virus has overwhelmed the health care system, but dozens of other countries are only a week or two behind on a similar track, including the United States.However, there are major divergences between the performance of different countries. Rich and middle-income East Asian countries like Taiwan, Vietnam, and Singapore have managed to nearly halt the outbreak in its tracks, while more ramshackle countries like the U.S. and U.K. have botched it almost beyond belief.While it is obviously too early to conduct a full accounting of what works and what doesn't, some broad lessons about best practices are still apparent. America will need to learn these lessons quickly if it wants to save itself from potentially horrifying outcomes, both now and in future pandemics.It's fair to say there are three broad levels to any pandemic response, each built on top of the other. The foundation is the national health care system, which provides the necessary broad access to testing and treatment. The second is the state's administrative bureaucracy and welfare state, which coordinates additional response measures. That means stuff like setting up mass testing checkpoints at border crossings and around the country, securing stockpiles of necessary medical supplies, constructing emergency hospitals, and so on. It also means deploying income support to individuals and businesses should mass lockdowns or quarantines become necessary, to keep people from being ruined financially and the economy ticking over. The third is citizen awareness: The population must be ready to upgrade their hygiene habits, accept drastic restrictions on movement, and avoid gathering together, so transmission is limited.Of all these, mass testing deserves special emphasis, because without it any emergency response is all but hamstrung. A nation cannot fight an epidemic without knowing where the disease actually is.The best-performing countries, however, excelled on all three levels. Taiwan has a Medicare-style single-payer system (indeed, it was actually based initially on America's Medicare system, except made universal), which allowed them to deploy testing, treatment, and quarantine without any fuss. They also had pandemic response plans drawn up after the SARS outbreak in 2002, which had been regularly reviewed and practiced. Finally, their citizens had been educated and prepared to take any epidemic seriously, so that people did not try to escape lockdowns and spread the disease further.Even middle-income countries can manage this. Vietnam, whose per-capita GDP was only about $6,600 in 2018 (or about 12 percent as much as the U.S.), squelched its initial epidemic with a lightning-fast deployment of mass testing, contact-tracking, quarantine, and public education measures (though it has since been dealing with new infections from foreign travelers). If the state is on top of the situation, mass lockdowns and the associated economic devastation can be limited or avoided.European countries were considerably behind the curve. Most have good enough or better medical systems, but their bureaucracies were caught flat-footed on the response. Italy has a world-class health care system, and the state actually moved quite quickly to put through testing, lockdown, and quarantine measures, but it simply wasn't fast enough to halt the outbreak. Worse, Italian citizens initially did not take the crisis seriously enough. Many resisted social distancing advisories and continued going out to public gatherings when the epidemic was in its early stages — encouraged by mixed messages from some authorities. Notice of a mass lockdown in northern Italy leaked before it could be implemented, and thousands fled to the south, where they spread the disease. And once an outbreak has gotten out of hand, even the best health care system in the world will be overwhelmed, because none are prepared to treat such gigantic surges of critically ill patients.Still, Italy is now working to the absolute utmost to fight the crisis, and appears to have slowed the growth of new cases. Other European countries, belatedly jolted into action by the Italian example, are taking drastic steps to limit disease transmission, build up their testing and treatment capacity, and keep their populations protected in the meantime. Here the famously generous European welfare states come in handy — countries like Denmark and Norway already have generous sick leave so infected people do not have to come to work, plus unemployment benefits to catch people who lose their job, and so on. These countries were also quick to pass business support measures to limit layoffs and prevent bankruptcies until the crisis passes.The United States, by contrast, has faceplanted on every single aspect of the response. Our health care system is a bitter joke by Taiwanese or Italian standards. We do not even have universal coverage, and what coverage we have is a usurious, fragmented, Kafkaesque nightmare that routinely bankrupts people who get sick. President Trump's direct response has also been horrifically bungled. We still do not have enough tests at least two months after we should have had them. He has not secured supplies of vital equipment like masks and ventilators, and hospitals are already running short. He did not even start activating the Army Corps of Engineers until a couple days ago. Hospital ships that Trump boasted were on their way turned out to be docked for maintenance and will take days to get moving. An economic support measure (which contains some emergency paid leave and unemployment insurance provisions that are worse than what most European countries have in normal times) is bogged down in Congress.Perhaps worst of all, Trump, Republican politicians, and right-wing media consistently downplayed the epidemic for weeks as it gathered strength. As the virus quietly spread through the population, Trump was still claiming "The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA," and conservative media was claiming it was no worse than the flu. Just in the last few days, Republican hack propagandists like Sean Hannity have pivoted on a dime from "I see it, again, as like, let's bludgeon Trump with this new hoax," to "this program has always taken the coronavirus seriously. We've never called the virus a hoax." The result is a persistent partisan split in how likely Americans are to understand the threat posed by the outbreak.At any rate, this all suggests the sketch of a broad policy agenda to fix this outbreak and head off future ones. First, the wretched American health care system needs to be sharply augmented on an emergency basis and eventually replaced with something that actually works, like Medicare-for-all. Second, the federal government is in shambles and needs a total overhaul. To start with, we should copy Taiwan's pandemic systems so that response teams and supplies are always ready to go on a moment's notice. More broadly, state capacity, which has been gutted by decades of conservative austerity, anti-science, and anti-expertise dogmatism, must be rebuilt across the board. Conservatives have insisted for decades that the government is all but useless, and today we are all paying the price. Third, Trump should be turfed out of office and the conservative movement should be comprehensively defeated politically. It turns out there are some serious downsides to having a narcissistic reality TV host in charge of the country.I have little hope that very much of this will come to pass. But in a crisis, sometimes what seemed impossible can happen very quickly. Let's hope somebody is trying to learn the lessons Taiwan and other Asian democracies are teaching us.Want more essential commentary and analysis like this delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for The Week's "Today's best articles" newsletter here.More stories from theweek.com Top coronavirus doctor puts head in hands when Trump mentions 'Deep State Department' at briefing Bloomberg's last FEC filing shows he spent nearly $1 billion on his failed presidential run Senate GOP stimulus plan would exclude up to 64 million tax filers from full rebate, economist says

[beautytipsfor]

America has one of the world's worst coronavirus responses

The world is gripped by the coronavirus pandemic. At time of writing there were about 225,000 confirmed cases in total, and 9,300 deaths. Europe is for the moment the epicenter of the outbreak, particularly in Italy where the virus has overwhelmed the health care system, but dozens of other countries are only a week or two behind on a similar track, including the United States.However, there are major divergences between the performance of different countries. Rich and middle-income East Asian countries like Taiwan, Vietnam, and Singapore have managed to nearly halt the outbreak in its tracks, while more ramshackle countries like the U.S. and U.K. have botched it almost beyond belief.While it is obviously too early to conduct a full accounting of what works and what doesn't, some broad lessons about best practices are still apparent. America will need to learn these lessons quickly if it wants to save itself from potentially horrifying outcomes, both now and in future pandemics.It's fair to say there are three broad levels to any pandemic response, each built on top of the other. The foundation is the national health care system, which provides the necessary broad access to testing and treatment. The second is the state's administrative bureaucracy and welfare state, which coordinates additional response measures. That means stuff like setting up mass testing checkpoints at border crossings and around the country, securing stockpiles of necessary medical supplies, constructing emergency hospitals, and so on. It also means deploying income support to individuals and businesses should mass lockdowns or quarantines become necessary, to keep people from being ruined financially and the economy ticking over. The third is citizen awareness: The population must be ready to upgrade their hygiene habits, accept drastic restrictions on movement, and avoid gathering together, so transmission is limited.Of all these, mass testing deserves special emphasis, because without it any emergency response is all but hamstrung. A nation cannot fight an epidemic without knowing where the disease actually is.The best-performing countries, however, excelled on all three levels. Taiwan has a Medicare-style single-payer system (indeed, it was actually based initially on America's Medicare system, except made universal), which allowed them to deploy testing, treatment, and quarantine without any fuss. They also had pandemic response plans drawn up after the SARS outbreak in 2002, which had been regularly reviewed and practiced. Finally, their citizens had been educated and prepared to take any epidemic seriously, so that people did not try to escape lockdowns and spread the disease further.Even middle-income countries can manage this. Vietnam, whose per-capita GDP was only about $6,600 in 2018 (or about 12 percent as much as the U.S.), squelched its initial epidemic with a lightning-fast deployment of mass testing, contact-tracking, quarantine, and public education measures (though it has since been dealing with new infections from foreign travelers). If the state is on top of the situation, mass lockdowns and the associated economic devastation can be limited or avoided.European countries were considerably behind the curve. Most have good enough or better medical systems, but their bureaucracies were caught flat-footed on the response. Italy has a world-class health care system, and the state actually moved quite quickly to put through testing, lockdown, and quarantine measures, but it simply wasn't fast enough to halt the outbreak. Worse, Italian citizens initially did not take the crisis seriously enough. Many resisted social distancing advisories and continued going out to public gatherings when the epidemic was in its early stages — encouraged by mixed messages from some authorities. Notice of a mass lockdown in northern Italy leaked before it could be implemented, and thousands fled to the south, where they spread the disease. And once an outbreak has gotten out of hand, even the best health care system in the world will be overwhelmed, because none are prepared to treat such gigantic surges of critically ill patients.Still, Italy is now working to the absolute utmost to fight the crisis, and appears to have slowed the growth of new cases. Other European countries, belatedly jolted into action by the Italian example, are taking drastic steps to limit disease transmission, build up their testing and treatment capacity, and keep their populations protected in the meantime. Here the famously generous European welfare states come in handy — countries like Denmark and Norway already have generous sick leave so infected people do not have to come to work, plus unemployment benefits to catch people who lose their job, and so on. These countries were also quick to pass business support measures to limit layoffs and prevent bankruptcies until the crisis passes.The United States, by contrast, has faceplanted on every single aspect of the response. Our health care system is a bitter joke by Taiwanese or Italian standards. We do not even have universal coverage, and what coverage we have is a usurious, fragmented, Kafkaesque nightmare that routinely bankrupts people who get sick. President Trump's direct response has also been horrifically bungled. We still do not have enough tests at least two months after we should have had them. He has not secured supplies of vital equipment like masks and ventilators, and hospitals are already running short. He did not even start activating the Army Corps of Engineers until a couple days ago. Hospital ships that Trump boasted were on their way turned out to be docked for maintenance and will take days to get moving. An economic support measure (which contains some emergency paid leave and unemployment insurance provisions that are worse than what most European countries have in normal times) is bogged down in Congress.Perhaps worst of all, Trump, Republican politicians, and right-wing media consistently downplayed the epidemic for weeks as it gathered strength. As the virus quietly spread through the population, Trump was still claiming "The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA," and conservative media was claiming it was no worse than the flu. Just in the last few days, Republican hack propagandists like Sean Hannity have pivoted on a dime from "I see it, again, as like, let's bludgeon Trump with this new hoax," to "this program has always taken the coronavirus seriously. We've never called the virus a hoax." The result is a persistent partisan split in how likely Americans are to understand the threat posed by the outbreak.At any rate, this all suggests the sketch of a broad policy agenda to fix this outbreak and head off future ones. First, the wretched American health care system needs to be sharply augmented on an emergency basis and eventually replaced with something that actually works, like Medicare-for-all. Second, the federal government is in shambles and needs a total overhaul. To start with, we should copy Taiwan's pandemic systems so that response teams and supplies are always ready to go on a moment's notice. More broadly, state capacity, which has been gutted by decades of conservative austerity, anti-science, and anti-expertise dogmatism, must be rebuilt across the board. Conservatives have insisted for decades that the government is all but useless, and today we are all paying the price. Third, Trump should be turfed out of office and the conservative movement should be comprehensively defeated politically. It turns out there are some serious downsides to having a narcissistic reality TV host in charge of the country.I have little hope that very much of this will come to pass. But in a crisis, sometimes what seemed impossible can happen very quickly. Let's hope somebody is trying to learn the lessons Taiwan and other Asian democracies are teaching us.Want more essential commentary and analysis like this delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for The Week's "Today's best articles" newsletter here.More stories from theweek.com Top coronavirus doctor puts head in hands when Trump mentions 'Deep State Department' at briefing Bloomberg's last FEC filing shows he spent nearly $1 billion on his failed presidential run Senate GOP stimulus plan would exclude up to 64 million tax filers from full rebate, economist says

from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://ift.tt/33wrRhM via Beauty Tips

from Blogger https://ift.tt/2WxRnSo

[saadullah-faisal-world]

The world is gripped by the coronavirus pandemic. At time of writing there were about 225,000 confirmed cases in total, and 9,300 deaths. Europe is for the moment the epicenter of the outbreak, particularly in Italy where the virus has overwhelmed the health care system, but dozens of other countries are only a week or two behind on a similar track, including the United States.However, there are major divergences between the performance of different countries. Rich and middle-income East Asian countries like Taiwan, Vietnam, and Singapore have managed to nearly halt the outbreak in its tracks, while more ramshackle countries like the U.S. and U.K. have botched it almost beyond belief.While it is obviously too early to conduct a full accounting of what works and what doesn't, some broad lessons about best practices are still apparent. America will need to learn these lessons quickly if it wants to save itself from potentially horrifying outcomes, both now and in future pandemics.It's fair to say there are three broad levels to any pandemic response, each built on top of the other. The foundation is the national health care system, which provides the necessary broad access to testing and treatment. The second is the state's administrative bureaucracy and welfare state, which coordinates additional response measures. That means stuff like setting up mass testing checkpoints at border crossings and around the country, securing stockpiles of necessary medical supplies, constructing emergency hospitals, and so on. It also means deploying income support to individuals and businesses should mass lockdowns or quarantines become necessary, to keep people from being ruined financially and the economy ticking over. The third is citizen awareness: The population must be ready to upgrade their hygiene habits, accept drastic restrictions on movement, and avoid gathering together, so transmission is limited.Of all these, mass testing deserves special emphasis, because without it any emergency response is all but hamstrung. A nation cannot fight an epidemic without knowing where the disease actually is.The best-performing countries, however, excelled on all three levels. Taiwan has a Medicare-style single-payer system (indeed, it was actually based initially on America's Medicare system, except made universal), which allowed them to deploy testing, treatment, and quarantine without any fuss. They also had pandemic response plans drawn up after the SARS outbreak in 2002, which had been regularly reviewed and practiced. Finally, their citizens had been educated and prepared to take any epidemic seriously, so that people did not try to escape lockdowns and spread the disease further.Even middle-income countries can manage this. Vietnam, whose per-capita GDP was only about $6,600 in 2018 (or about 12 percent as much as the U.S.), squelched its initial epidemic with a lightning-fast deployment of mass testing, contact-tracking, quarantine, and public education measures (though it has since been dealing with new infections from foreign travelers). If the state is on top of the situation, mass lockdowns and the associated economic devastation can be limited or avoided.European countries were considerably behind the curve. Most have good enough or better medical systems, but their bureaucracies were caught flat-footed on the response. Italy has a world-class health care system, and the state actually moved quite quickly to put through testing, lockdown, and quarantine measures, but it simply wasn't fast enough to halt the outbreak. Worse, Italian citizens initially did not take the crisis seriously enough. Many resisted social distancing advisories and continued going out to public gatherings when the epidemic was in its early stages — encouraged by mixed messages from some authorities. Notice of a mass lockdown in northern Italy leaked before it could be implemented, and thousands fled to the south, where they spread the disease. And once an outbreak has gotten out of hand, even the best health care system in the world will be overwhelmed, because none are prepared to treat such gigantic surges of critically ill patients.Still, Italy is now working to the absolute utmost to fight the crisis, and appears to have slowed the growth of new cases. Other European countries, belatedly jolted into action by the Italian example, are taking drastic steps to limit disease transmission, build up their testing and treatment capacity, and keep their populations protected in the meantime. Here the famously generous European welfare states come in handy — countries like Denmark and Norway already have generous sick leave so infected people do not have to come to work, plus unemployment benefits to catch people who lose their job, and so on. These countries were also quick to pass business support measures to limit layoffs and prevent bankruptcies until the crisis passes.The United States, by contrast, has faceplanted on every single aspect of the response. Our health care system is a bitter joke by Taiwanese or Italian standards. We do not even have universal coverage, and what coverage we have is a usurious, fragmented, Kafkaesque nightmare that routinely bankrupts people who get sick. President Trump's direct response has also been horrifically bungled. We still do not have enough tests at least two months after we should have had them. He has not secured supplies of vital equipment like masks and ventilators, and hospitals are already running short. He did not even start activating the Army Corps of Engineers until a couple days ago. Hospital ships that Trump boasted were on their way turned out to be docked for maintenance and will take days to get moving. An economic support measure (which contains some emergency paid leave and unemployment insurance provisions that are worse than what most European countries have in normal times) is bogged down in Congress.Perhaps worst of all, Trump, Republican politicians, and right-wing media consistently downplayed the epidemic for weeks as it gathered strength. As the virus quietly spread through the population, Trump was still claiming "The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA," and conservative media was claiming it was no worse than the flu. Just in the last few days, Republican hack propagandists like Sean Hannity have pivoted on a dime from "I see it, again, as like, let's bludgeon Trump with this new hoax," to "this program has always taken the coronavirus seriously. We've never called the virus a hoax." The result is a persistent partisan split in how likely Americans are to understand the threat posed by the outbreak.At any rate, this all suggests the sketch of a broad policy agenda to fix this outbreak and head off future ones. First, the wretched American health care system needs to be sharply augmented on an emergency basis and eventually replaced with something that actually works, like Medicare-for-all. Second, the federal government is in shambles and needs a total overhaul. To start with, we should copy Taiwan's pandemic systems so that response teams and supplies are always ready to go on a moment's notice. More broadly, state capacity, which has been gutted by decades of conservative austerity, anti-science, and anti-expertise dogmatism, must be rebuilt across the board. Conservatives have insisted for decades that the government is all but useless, and today we are all paying the price. Third, Trump should be turfed out of office and the conservative movement should be comprehensively defeated politically. It turns out there are some serious downsides to having a narcissistic reality TV host in charge of the country.I have little hope that very much of this will come to pass. But in a crisis, sometimes what seemed impossible can happen very quickly. Let's hope somebody is trying to learn the lessons Taiwan and other Asian democracies are teaching us.Want more essential commentary and analysis like this delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for The Week's "Today's best articles" newsletter here.More stories from theweek.com Top coronavirus doctor puts head in hands when Trump mentions 'Deep State Department' at briefing Bloomberg's last FEC filing shows he spent nearly $1 billion on his failed presidential run Netflix establishes $100 million fund for entertainment industry workers affected by the coronavirus pandemic

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Trump Makes Clear What Black Voters Had to Lose

“What the hell do you have to lose?” the president asked in the summer of 2016. The answer is now only all too plain.

David A. Graham, Staff writer | Published July 30, 2019 |The Atlantic | Posted July 30, 2019 1:42 PM ET |

Updated on July 30 at 9:32 a.m. ET

In late summer 2016, the Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump embarked on what he claimed was an appeal to African American voters. In August, Trump traveled to Michigan for an event that was part of the push, though reporters noted that his speech was actually given in a predominantly white suburb of Lansing.

“What the hell do you have to lose?” Trump said, addressing his question to black voters. The point, he said, was that African American communities were already a shambles, and their condition could only improve. The remarks drew shocked reactions at the time.

Three years later, as the president attacks Representative Elijah Cummings, a Baltimore Democrat, the answer to his question is clear. Trump has sabotaged a law that guaranteed health insurance for many African Americans. He has undermined protections for voting rights. His Justice Department has stopped going after police departments that discriminated against African Americans. He has rolled back environmental protections. Beyond policy, he has used rhetoric that suggests the citizenship of African Americans and other minorities is conditional and less than that of white Americans.

Whenever he is accused of racism, which is frequently, Trump is quick to cite black unemployment rates, which are at historic lows. The president invokes this as if it’s a special favor he has bestowed on African Americans, rather than a self-evident policy goal of the government. Insofar as African American employment has improved, it’s simply as part of a generally growing economy, not targeted policies. Moreover, as Peter Nicholas reports, black unemployment remains twice as high as white rates, and the gap in wages between races is growing. Trump has at other times cited the First Step Act, a bipartisan criminal-justice reform law he signed in late 2018. Advocates have widely hailed the law as a positive move.

But in other areas, Trump’s policy record for African Americans is dismal. Begin with policing, a subject of intimate relevance in Baltimore. The city was shaken by protests in April 2015, after the death of Freddie Gray while in police custody. It was one in a long string of deaths of people under arrest, and the city convulsed in violence. In the aftermath, the Obama Justice Department probed the Baltimore Police Department and found a horrifying record of racial discrimination and disparate enforcement. Baltimore was one of several cities where DOJ investigated abuses and used consent decrees to force departments to reform amid evidence of widespread abuses of African Americans at the hands of police officers.

But shortly after the Trump administration took over, then–Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced that the Justice Department would no longer pursue such arrangements. “It is not the responsibility of the federal government to manage non-federal law enforcement agencies,” he said. “The misdeeds of individual bad actors should not impugn or undermine the legitimate and honorable work that law enforcement officers and agencies perform in keeping American communities safe.” DOJ attempted to undo the already agreed-upon Baltimore consent decree. In a speech on Long Island in 2017, Trump even celebrated roughing up suspects.

The Trump administration has also waged a years-long campaign to undermine the Affordable Care Act. The nonpartisan Kaiser Family Foundation has found that the law significantly increased insurance coverage for African Americans, with uninsured rates falling from 19 percent in 2013 to 11 percent in 2017, but the president has undertaken a number of steps that KFF says will exacerbate racial gaps in health care. In March, the Justice Department reversed its position on a pending case, announcing that it supported a lower-court judge’s ruling that would strike the entire law. Despite promising a better replacement, Trump has not offered a plan to replace the law if it’s struck down, and Congress has given up as well. The administration is also squeezing states that wish to expand Medicaid coverage under the ACA.

When the Trump administration is not working to reduce health-care access for black Americans, it is taking steps that could make more of them sick. The president has sought to undo a range of environmental protections, even as a study of pollution by Trump’s own Environmental Protection Agency found that “results at national, state, and county scales all indicate that non-Whites tend to be burdened disproportionately to Whites.”

The most potent weapon against policies like these, the guarantor of political rights, is the ability to vote. That has also historically been a fragile right for African Americans, often deprived or eroded. Since taking office, Trump has made it harder for black citizens to exercise their right to vote. The Justice Department switched its position in gerrymandering and voter-ID lawsuits, supporting defendant states against plaintiffs challenging laws. Trump has also subscribed to conspiracy theories about massive numbers of illegal votes, all in service of stricter voter laws that depress minority turnout.

Worse, perhaps, than all of these concrete policy effects has been the symbolic message that Trump has sent, deeming African Americans second-class citizens. This has taken several forms in the past month alone: his suggestion that the black and brown women of the “squad” of progressive Democratic representatives “go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came” (all four are American citizens, and all but one are native-born); his ratification of a “Send her back” chant at a rally; his attacks on Cummings; and his consistent labeling  of people and communities of color as “infested” or “infestations.” These are all, as my colleague Adam Serwer has written, manifestations of “the president’s belief that American citizenship is conditional for people of color, who should be grateful we are even allowed to be here.”

Baltimore certainly has its struggles. Since Gray’s death, the murder rate in the city has surged. The mayor  resigned amid corruption allegations in May, the second mayor to step down in a scandal in a decade. Parts of the city struggle with intense poverty. But blaming Cummings for this misses the point in two different ways. The median income in Cummings’s district is, as Nicholas notes, above the national average. Beyond that, Trump seems to misunderstand Cummings’s role: He’s a United States representative, which means that the oversight that has enraged Trump is very much his responsibility, but he is not the mayor, which means that local governance is not within his ambit.

Besides, Trump in 2016 promised the nation that when it came to problems like poverty and squalor in Baltimore, “I alone can fix it.” He specifically criticized Barack Obama for not doing enough for the city. Now, however, Trump wants Baltimore and other major cities—as well as hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico—to fix themselves. When he travels the country, Trump sticks as much as possible to the white, rural districts that elected him, while avoiding the urban and minority-heavy ones that spurned him.

It is true, as Trump noted, that other politicians, including Bernie Sanders, have lamented conditions in Baltimore. Yet Sanders made those comments while demanding that the federal government do better for the city and after touring West Baltimore. Trump made his remarks while writing off a city. He evinces no interest in visiting or improving the city, which he has never bothered to visit as president, even though it’s just 40 miles from Washington, D.C. The struggles of any African American residents there are useful as a political bludgeon, but otherwise they are up to the residents (and their African American congressman) to deal with.

As the 2020 election approaches, Trump’s question to African American voters is no longer a hypothetical or rhetorical question. So what the hell do they have to lose? Just their health, their health insurance, their right not to be abused by police, their right to vote, and their status as full members of the American polity.