#and the doctor at the end throwing her memories deep into the tardis and going

[claratwelve]

yeah no okay i just finished s13 and i loved it, that was some good cinema

[quietwingsinthesky]

for the hurt/comfort prompts: the doctor and the tardis, in the swap au?

fun!!! god, i love writing for the tardis. my weird machine wife creature thing. they are having such a fun time together <- lying.

days later edit oh god oh fuck i misread the prompt and wrote about the master instead of the doctor shit fuck shit-

The TARDIS remembers so many of his faces. She has hated him in one life as he tore her engine to pieces slowly, and loved him in another as he tried to repair her and himself, and in another, she devoured him whole without regret for trying to steal her Thief from her.

She sees him shiver as the air goes cold, even beneath his many layers of clothing. Her engine slows mid-flight. She drags in the time vortex, rejecting instruction.

Oh, her Thief. Her Thief. Come back to her in more than echoes, than memories. She still holds his breath inside her walls. His room left waiting, and all the others, all the shrines to everyone lost and never forgotten.

"No," mutters the Time Lord at her console, the one her Thief hates and loves and, yes, just might devour whole, even if he would never admit it. "No, no, what are you doing?" He forces levers into place. She flips them back. He grows angrier at her defiance, and in return, she makes herself colder, uninhabitable. She's meant to be a tomb! She's known that since she was stolen!

How dare he take her! How dare he force her to live!

"I'll take you apart," he threatens. "I'll wipe your memory of him! Is that what you want?" He's shouting at her. He has no idea how small he is. She wants to lose him, throw him somewhere dark and deep inside her and never let him out. She wants to sit here in the vortex until it collapses and takes her with it.

"You don't get to die!" He paces her console, screwdriver in hand, and she is practically daring him to use it on her. She'll reflect the laser back into his hearts. She'll be his tomb, if not her Thief's. "You're all he left me, you don't get to die!" He nearly does, aiming at her engine furiously. Born of self-destruction, this is how he will burn. She feels it, as easily as her Thief might find the end of a scarf. His hand trembles.

Instead, he hits her. She sparks at him. He ignores her, hitting her console again and again. There's no damage he can do like that.

His knuckles split against her. She feels the warm drops of blood hit her. He doesn't stop until his skin has broken across every finger. She doesn't hold a dent.

He makes a noise that tears through the whole of her. A wounded animal howls.

And they are both quiet, succumbing to frostbite.

"Maybe you're trying to impress me," she echoes with her Thief's voice. The Time Lord inside her jumps, and for a moment, his face is full of hope before it collapses in on itself.

"Don't puppet him around," he snaps. "Don't mock me!"

"The alternative would be much worse," she tells him. She sees him clasp his own shaking hands together.

"Stop it," he begs, "stop! I'll erase him. Stop using him to-"

"Tough!" she cuts in, a different voice, his voice, and he barks a laugh that's mostly surprise, ruined still.

She has never named him. He's named himself, of course, they always do. She only ever agreed with one, her River, but all the rest will have to deal with her renaming them. Not him, not ever, for as long as she's known him. She couldn't.

"The alternative is that this is for real, and it's time for us to become friends again," she echoes, her Thief again. He hangs his head, bright blood against his knuckles, pressed into her.

"Were we ever?"

"Do you think so?" she asks him back, another memory of his voice.

"…I won't take him from you." She hears the selfishness beneath the promise, that she holds all that's left of her Thief and he can't let go either. She can live with selfishness.

Her Friend, she thinks. Well, he might grow to it. He might not. She'll call him that all the same.

She lets herself warm up. It will take a while longer before she can convince her engines to run again. He'll have to be patient.

For him, for her, she finds another memory, her Thief's voice ringing through her once again, for as long as she can make him. And her Friend, newly… not forgiven but allowed, tilts his head to hear. "So there's this man. He has a time machine. Up and down history he goes, zip zip zip zip zip, getting into scrapes…"

[borrowedtimeandspace]

Picking Up the Pieces 2/3

1 | 2 [here] | 3

AU: A Patient, and Time (Donna AU)

~~~

Despite her determination to watch over Donna, Zepheera found it rather disquieting once she was alone. The silence was deafening, only barely broken by the human’s soft, sleepy breathing.

The sound brought back many memories in Zepheera. She and Donna had shared a room for a long time, before the borrower had recovered enough to find her own space in the TARDIS. She and Donna would talk for hours about anything on their minds, until one of them dropped off to sleep and the other followed. Given Zepheera's initial sleep issues, that first person asleep was most often Donna, so the sounds of her sleep were terribly familiar.

She was always full of life, from the moment Zepheera met her. It frightened the borrower at the start, but now its absence left her feeling so empty inside.

Before she could think better of it, Zepheera's feet were on the move. She marched right up to the edge of the nightstand and took the short leap to land on the purple pillowcase. She held her breath for a moment, on the lookout for any signs of movement in Donna.

Not a twitch.

This was an objectively bad move from a borrower’s standpoint. No cover, unsteady ground, and proximity to a human that could wake up at any moment. Zepheera didn't care.

Keeping her eye out for signs of movement, she carefully circled around the top of the pillow towards the opposite side, inching closer to Donna's face once it was in view. The weight of her head caused a slope, so Zepheera had to slow down to keep her balance as she approached Donna’s forehead.

She reached out a hand to touch her, but hesitated before making contact. 

When the Doctor had taken Donna's memories, Zepheera had no clue what was going on. All the confusion and pain hit so strongly in that moment that she had a hard time remembering the few moments after Donna had passed out into the Doctor’s arms. Her raw throat told her plenty about all the screaming she'd apparently done, but the one sensation that she did recall was heat.

Donna’s forehead ended up leaning against the shoulder Zepheera had occupied at the time. Desperate to be close to her friend in a moment of visceral impulse, Zepheera's hands were pressed to it the moment it was in reach. Humans ran rather warm compared to borrowers; she'd grown used to their body heat, but that… That wasn't a normal temperature by any means. Zepheera just didn't care at the time because the despair in her heart overruled the fire under her hands.

With that memory returning, alongside the knowledge that this was likely the last contact Zepheera would ever make with her best friend, she took a deep breath and gently pressed her hand to the skin.

It was still warm, but nowhere near the fever Zepheera felt before. She let out a slow, shuddering breath that she didn't realize she'd been holding. She could be upset about it all she liked, but it became clear right then that the Doctor was right. That what he did was making her better.

That didn't make losing Donna hurt any less.

Zepheera lifted her other hand to join the first, using them to balance herself so she could lean in and place her much smaller forehead on Donna's. Her eyes squeezed shut in a failed attempt to will away her tears, and she shared a breath with her sleeping friend.

“Bye, Donna…”

She stayed there for an all-too-brief moment. Just after she'd brought herself to pull away, she felt the flesh beneath her fingers twitch. The eyebrows to her left were shifting, and the chest beyond heaved with a deeper breath than before.

Donna was waking up, and Zepheera needed to be scarce when she did!

Throwing caution to the wind, hoping the human was too out of it to truly notice, she pushed off of Donna's forehead with both hands and used that momentum to scramble back along the pillow. Donna’s brow furrowed, and a hand loomed overhead to absently rub her forehead as she gave a yawn. By then, Zepheera had slid over the side of the pillow and landed silently on the mattress, tucking herself out of sight behind it.

“Blimey…” she heard Donna mumble. Small movements that Zepheera couldn't see translated into tremors through the mattress under her feet. “What time is…?”

Zepheera dropped from a crouch to her hands and knees as the mattress heaved under her thanks to Donna sitting up properly to have a look around and down at herself. From her hiding spot, Zepheera could see Donna fish through her pockets to find her mobile, its screen glowing softly in the distance.

“Thirty-two??” Donna exclaimed, properly awake and full of all that energy once again. With a final lurch under Zepheera, she hopped out of bed and marched out of the room, eyes glued to her phone.

With the room completely still and truly silent, Zepheera had nothing left to distract her from the overwhelming dread that told her it was over.

Donna was gone, forever.

[presidentdisastraofgallifrey]

Judging Doctor Who: Twelfth Doctor

Disclaimer: this is all in good fun and I don't take fandom seriously

Good episodes I like

Deep Breath - The t-rex is a little random, but the robot plot is a delightful setup for a new dynamic. Also beginning of Missy's first arc!

Robot of Sherwood - It's so fun and weird and charming, and he's so grumpy about it

Mummy on the Orient Express - the mystery is intriguing and I love them fighting but refusing to acknowledge that's what they're doing

Flatline - excellent silly monster of the week story

The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar - Everything about this is so ridiculous and delightful. It's a great daleks episode! Missy stops planes just to get Clara's attention! She casually murders people because she's having fun being evil! The Doctor throws a depression party by breaking time travel rules! He's so full of nihilism but can't quit compassion! I kinda ship Missy and Clara I think, in a really messed up way

Under the Lake/Before the Flood - YES, appropriate use of time travel!! Go solve the mystery in the past!

The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived - One of my all time favorite arcs. The tragedy of an act of kindness destroying her, the way she can't hold all her memories, the way she stops caring but finds a reason to again. It's so sad! But so compelling!

The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion - I always thought this felt like it was missing a third backstory episode, but even so the entire situation is wonderful. And the Osgoods are in this one!

Face the Raven/Heaven Sent/Hell Bent - Such a great arc ending for Clara, very Doctor-like of her to erase his memories and run away in a TARDIS. With Me as the ideal companion. Also first nu who use of Gallifrey that I approve of.

The Husbands of River Song - The whole thing is just so funny after so many stories of genuine emotion. He can't find a way to explain to her because he's too autistic caught off guard. That "hello, sweetie" kills me. Oh and they finally get their relationship concluding date night

The Return of Doctor Mysterio - I love the superhero theme, how lighthearted it is (despite actual brain stealing!), and the Doctor feels unusually Doctory for Twelve

The Pilot - Excellent intro for Bill

Smile - Delightfully creepy while being colorful and bright. Also, emoji horror

Knock Knock - silly but also horrifying and sad. Also, we should see Bill's school friends more

Oxygen - Delightfully anticapitalist, and I approve of the Doctor having to deal with a disability (even if the sonic sunglasses are cheating a bit)

Extremis - Another au episode! And the start of Missy's second arc!

The Eaters of Light - This one just has such a sweet sad tone and ending to it

Twice Upon a Time - It does give the Doctor some closure, and I like the idea of everyone's selves being saved like that. Also always here for the Doctor meeting himself!

Bad Episodes I like

Dark Water/Death in Heaven - Cyberpollen is ridiculous, I will always be mad about fridging Danny, and if he dies then Orson can't exist later. But it's here because this was such a great scheme and reveal for Missy!

Last Christmas - Not the most coherent and I always hate the hints at the end that maybe it was real, but I enjoyed it a lot. It's very creepy but sweet, and the fake out of the Doctor meeting old Clara really reveals his side of the companion trauma I think.

The Pyramid at the End of the World/The Lie of the Land - It was not a good decision to blind him then undo it, ok. It just wasn't. He should have stayed disabled until regeneration. But a lot of the plot was fun, especially the au bit, even if I'm not sure how Bill won made much sense.

World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls - I couldn't decide where to put this, tbh. There is so much wrong with it. It's a terrible ending for Bill, and bad timing since she felt like she was just starting to really settle in as a companion. It's also a terrible end to Missy's very good arc. But I like the tragedy of Bill spending years alone while the Doctor spends so little time, and for once it wasn't his fault. Also as much as I hate cybermen, this was a harrowing backstory and horrifying reveal.

Good episodes I don't like

In the Forest of the Night - I don't actually think this is a bad episode. I really like that the answer was plants protecting Earth and for once it wasn't an invasion. But the pacing is a bit slow and I thought having this revealed by speaking through a child like that was unnecessary (they should have deduced it)

Thin Ice - This episode is fine but didn't hold my attention well

Bad episodes I don't like

In the Dalek - This one was boring. And also it felt weird that Clara is suddenly a teacher but there's no line about her having a new job. Maybe they meant for it to be a time skip, but it felt jarring

Listen - Possibly my least favorite episode of the whole show. It makes no sense. They get no answers. Are these telepathic guidance circuits ever used again? And they absolutely should not be able to reach Gallifrey's past, right? I do like Orson Pink, though

Time Heist - Simultaneously confusing and dull

Kill the Moon - No. Just no. Not even worth the Moon is an egg jokes.

Sleep No More - Hate this ridiculous contrived plot, and hate even more the implication at the end that they didn't win anyway

Empress of Mars - It felt really slow to me for this kind of episode

Episodes that are kind of offensive

The Caretaker - The Doctor's attitude towards Danny is hypocritical, and unfair, and this only seems to happen with companions' Black boyfriends so I'm blaming the show for this writing choice

[twojamie-o-clock]

Okay so I know “The Jigsaw War” doesn’t actually take place during season 6B but IMAGINE IF IT DID it’s actually the perfect story hello

Rambling & spoilers below the cut

1. The Set Up

As a companion chronicles story, this is obviously very Jamie centric. The opening reminded me a lot of “death of the Daleks” where Jamie is being interrogated, alone, by a newcomer who presumed he knows everything about - that he’s an accomplice to - the Doctor. In both of these scenarios the Doctor represented the threat to these strangers, and Jamie the key to defeating that. Which is already very much Jamie being a tool for manipulating the Doctor, as emphasized at the end of “world game” where the doctor agreed to carry on working for the CIA if he was allowed Jamie’s company.

2. Jamie Working

The main plot of Jamie having to work things out on his own, for his own freedom and for the Doctor, feels a lot like it could be a trend in the CIA throwing him in the deep end with 2. It shows how independent and adaptive he’s grown since he started traveling with the Doctor, how he has picked up bit of his personality. This is also mentioned later when Jamie is though to have (in the future) attacked Moran and the Doctor insists that this is out of character for him because of who Jamie is and how he has changed.

The fact that the tasks Jamie has to fulfill/perform are time & puzzle based obviously adds to this, since he is jumping through time with disjointed memories and understanding. The Doctor is also for the most part off screen (?) because he is working on another aspect of the “threat” while Jamie is put to the test. So !! Hm !!

3. Jamie’s Faith

Jamie’s faith in the Doctor is of course put to the test but he still believes in him despite the risks. Obviously a big part of the recovery aspect of season 6B is jamie learning who the doctor is again and why he trusts him so much. In this audio he also risks many lives by putting this resolute faith in the Doctor. Also, because it’s told from Jamie’s perspective like, and because that’s just how the plot is moving, the whole story hinges on the Doctor’s judgment: who needs his help, who is the threat, and his way of understanding humans to a core—something the Time Lords despise but still very clearly need.

Another major part of the dialogue is the Doctor speaking through Jamie’s body because the “emotional connection” is “strong enough” where it would otherwise not have worked. So….I’ll leave that there.

4. CIA interventions & measures

His interrogators ask who the doctor is working for, automatically assuming that he is an agent. The conversation goes like:

Which of course is a very obvious nod to when the Doctor will eventually take orders - unless he is already taking them. The only disagreeing thing in the audio is that a) the tardis crash landed as per usual on the Unheld system and b) Zoe is allegedly traveling with them. However the “accidental” landing on the Unheld could very easily be another lie. And if this were to take place around helicon prime etc Jamie wouldn’t actually remember Zoe (btw I have not yet listened to beyond war games/James Robert mccrimmon so I might edit this later). But that the main idea is stitched events and memories being experience out of chronology….etc. Also Zoe doesn’t actually make an appearance in the audio - the Doctor mentions her helping him while he’s in Jamie’s mind, but because Jamie can hear him it’s very possible that could have been for his sake alone.

Anyway there’s my. False hope. (I originally started this because I was struggling where to order the jigsaw war on my spreadsheet. I did end up opting for this:

Simply because the s6b thing is more of a guess and I want this to be only slightly more accurate than that. What was stopping me from putting anything between twg/space pirates was that Jamie is wearing the same exact shirt so it seemed like they would connect but the idea of him going continuously into the final serial felt wrong so I just changed it now)

Okay thanks for reading!

[influencermagazineuk]

Doctor Who: Empire of Death - Finale Review

"Empire of Death," the season finale of Doctor Who's spectacular return under Ncuti Gatwa's Doctor, delivers a satisfying punch. It's a thrilling blend of high-stakes sci-fi and surprisingly deep emotional moments, serving as both a fantastic follow-up to "The Legend of Ruby Sunday" and a spiritual successor to the classic serial "The Pyramids of Mars." Image: Production House / Doctor Who The episode throws us right back into the apocalyptic aftermath of "The Legend of Ruby Sunday." The universe hangs in the balance as Sutekh, the ancient Osirian god, threatens to erase all existence. This episode captures the exhilaration of a true Doctor Who finale, escalating the tension from the previous episode to an "Infinity War" snap moment where all life seems to vanish. Image: Production House / Doctor Who The stakes couldn't be higher. Gabriel Woolf's return as Sutekh's voice is magnificent, perfectly capturing the chilling essence of an unstoppable cosmic entity. While the CGI depiction might leave some wanting, Woolf's performance is undeniably menacing. The constant sense of Sutekh's presence pursuing the Doctor, Mel, and Ruby across time and space creates a palpable sense of dread. This episode also pushes the boundaries of the show's usual family-friendly nature. The danger feels real, with the potential loss of even established characters like Katherine Lethbridge-Stewart (Jemma Redgrave) hanging heavy in the air. This emotional weight is a credit to the writing and the performances, particularly Gatwa's portrayal of the Doctor. Gatwa shines in his first finale. There's a wonderful mix of humanity and alienness in his performance. At times, he embodies the classic Time Lord persona, shielding his emotions for the greater good. But there are also moments where his vulnerability bleeds through, highlighting the Doctor as a being burdened by the weight of countless lives. This emotional range culminates in a beautifully bittersweet farewell scene with Ruby. Here, we see the Doctor, ever the wise and powerful alien, making a difficult choice that allows Ruby to live a normal life. Gatwa's portrayal of the Doctor's quiet sorrow as he lets Ruby go is a defining moment for his take on the character. "Empire of Death" doesn't shy away from referencing both classic and new Who. Fans will delight in the "Remembered TARDIS," a ramshackle vessel powered by memory that stands in stark contrast to the pristine TARDIS of Season 1. There's also a treasure trove of Easter eggs scattered throughout the episode, with nods to various eras of the show. Image: Production House / Doctor Who However, some of the more direct references to "The Pyramids of Mars" feel a bit on the nose, potentially confusing viewers unfamiliar with the classic serial. Nevertheless, the episode shines when it forges its own path, particularly with its refreshing take on Ruby's origins. The finale benefits greatly from its extended runtime. This allows for a satisfying resolution to Sutekh's threat, even if the "resetting the universe" trope feels a bit trope-y. The extra time also allows for a satisfying reveal of Ruby's mother, a seemingly ordinary woman who becomes unexpectedly grand in the grand scheme of things. This is a welcome departure from the tired "secret Time Lord" narratives of the past. While a few questions remain unanswered, like the identity of the enigmatic Mrs. Flood, the finale sets the stage for intriguing developments in Season 2. The emotional send-off for Ruby leaves room for her return, potentially alongside the incoming companion, Varada Sethu. Overall, "Empire of Death" is a strong end to a stellar season. It blends high-stakes sci-fi with genuine emotional moments, delivering a finale that honors the show's legacy while paving the way for exciting adventures to come. With its innovative elements, well-developed characters, and powerful performances, "Empire of Death" is a must-watch for Doctor Who fans both old and new. Read the full article

[happymeishappylife]

Companion Recap: Jamie McCrimmon

The Doctor’s longest running companion so far in the series. Jamie travels with the Doctor through almost three full seasons and stays by his side with enthusiasm, friendship, and quite a bit of teasing. What is so lovely about this friendship is that it is just that (though because of some of the ways Frazer and Patrick play their parts, it’s easier to read more into it), but also that their friendship is deep and means a lot to both. Which is why it is so cruel at the end.

James Robert McCrimmon is a highlander piper from the 17th century and when the Doctor picks him up, he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. To be fair he doesn’t always understand what’s going on, but soon he learns that the Doctor’s TARDIS just goes wherever it wants and usually that means a little bit of danger, a little bit of fighting, but ultimately that the Doctor is out to save people. And because the Doctor seems reckless, this means he needs protection. And who better to protect him then the man who is always willing to throw down or take charge even if it might be what gets them into trouble. It’s beautiful.

Also, because Jamie gets taken mostly to the future he picks up a lot and also learns to roll with the strange and unexpected very well. Sure sometimes metal ‘beasties’ or scientific theories go over his head, but fighting Cybermen or Daleks is all the same. Though Jamie does get injured a lot because of his head first actions, he still never abandons the Doctor and soon learns that while his friend is great, he can be a little manipulative, but I think this makes Jamie trust him more ultimately because he knows the Doctor cares for him too.

In fact, the Doctor really does raise Jamie up from when he found him as a mere piper. Jamie is a hero, a constant friend, and support to others, and someone who can always be trusted. I can understand why Jamie doesn’t want to leave the Doctor and even when the one time he does, its because he learns of the Doctor’s manipulation to also save his life. So when he begs the Doctor to run away from the Time Lords and to never forget him, you can tell how much the Doctor really means to him which is why its truly cruel to erase all of Jamie’s memories when they return him to the 17th century.

Jamie also grew differently with all the other companions he travels with. With Ben and Polly, he was another friend and could relate to them even though they came from hundreds of years in his future. But with Victoria, she was a princess and someone he fell hard and fast for. Sure sometimes he was a little sexist and vulgar with her, but ultimately he loved her and wanted to protect her at all costs. With Zoe, he initially is annoyed with her, but I think that’s because she could easily talk and bond with the Doctor which made him jealous. But ultimately Zoe was someone else he could rely on in really hairy situations and the two had a mutual respect for each other. Plus seeing these different faces of him (the Mind Robber pun, not intended) we see what a full-fledged character he was.

I’m glad Jamie is one of the most beloved companions and not just because he is there the longest. Frazer really brought a character to life that we could enjoy and bond with for a whole multitude of reasons and its great that he too is still part of the fandom all these years later.

[time-qxeen]

@secondofeternity

TONIGHT IS A LONELY NIGHT.   Because they have those, now. They have lonely nights, they have angry nights, and they have heavy nights. There are other nights too, but those aren’t even spoken of.

Tonight is a lonely night, though, and they’ve had quite a few of those recently. Nardole knows them well, knows their volatile nature, knows to be careful. Company is needed, but too much pushing will let the knife inch further into the wound. It’s deep enough already.

The Doctor is sitting on the floor. They’re leaning against the TARDIS doors, the back of their head resting against the blue box, silver curls cushioning their skull. Nardole is sitting in the Doctor’s chair. He’s allowed to sit there on lonely nights, only because the Doctor doesn’t want to sit there and look at the pictures on their desk. They might throw them, or put them face-down, or worse still, they might just stare at them.

They could take off, right now, go and find a brand new friend, and whisk them away to see the universe. It would be easy. They’ve done it before, in old bodies, old memories. It’s not a difficult thing to do. But they would be filling a void in their hearts with someone who would, inevitably, deserve their own space. It’s not fair to fill gaps left by others with new people. They’ve learned that lesson. Besides, if they make a new friend, they’ll only be opening their hearts up to loss once more.

NO.   Lonely nights aren’t about trying to fill the void. On nights like these, all they can do is acknowledge. Most of the time, they avoid. Try to forget, or ignore, or distract. Lonely nights are what happens when they can’t quite manage that any longer, when they’re just too tired and they’ve run out of distractions. So Nardole is sitting, waiting for them to do or say something, and finally, they do.

“I don’t know where she is,” they say.

“Who?” Nardole asks, because they’ve lost so many people, and tonight’s lonely episode could’ve been triggered by overwhelming thoughts of any of them.

“Missy. The Master. I don’t even know which they are right now. They could’ve changed faces four times since I last saw them, for all I know.” It’s been a long time. Depending on how they look at it, hundreds, thousands, or billions of years. They choose not to look at it at all. No point thinking about time.

“What’s wrong with that? Not knowing where they are?”

“If I don’t know where they are,” the Doctor says slowly, curling their fingers tightly into the fabric of their hoodie. “It’s like I’ve lost them as well. They’re not human, so they don’t-- I won’t lose them like--” they break off and sigh, pushing their head back against the TARDIS doors. They don’t need to say it. “But when I don’t know where they are, I don’t know that they’re not gone. It’s-- a whole universe of space between us. Their presence, when they’re near, it’s... like it used to be. Even if they’re trying to kill me, it feels-- different. Their mind,” they say, gesturing vaguely at their own head, then trail off.

Nardole is silent for a moment. He clearly doesn’t approve, but that’s alright. He doesn’t need to. “The telepathy thing.”

“Yes.”

“Can’t you do that with someone else? With me?”

“No. I can... sort of do it at you, but... not like with them.”

“And you miss that.”

“Yes,” they say again. “More than anything.”

It feels like home, they don’t say. They won’t say. But they think it, desperately. It aches in their chest, the kind of ache that doesn’t feel like it’ll ever go away. It feels like home. They feel like home.

Missy wasn’t usually the sort of person to feel bad for doing things that people might consider rude. But, if she was, she might’ve felt bad for pausing outside his window - for silently listening along to his conversation. ( Besides, she thought to herself, he’s talking about me behind my back, so who’s really being the rude one? ) 

Not that she was really offended by it - he wasn’t saying anything bad, and she’d always imagined that she must be all the Doctor can talk about when she’s not there. It’s a personal fantasy of hers, and she’s ever so slightly pleased to get a little proof that her fantasy might be based in truth. 

As soon as he’s finished talking, she wants to see him. He says that he misses the telepathic bond, and she isn’t sure if he means with her, or with any one of their kind. Whichever it’s supposed to mean, she decides to assume it’s about her. ( And perhaps that’s a reflection of her own feelings - that as much as she, too, misses the closeness of a telepathic connection - of feeling someone’s presence in a way the rest of the universe doesn’t understand - she misses him more. She misses feeling him. ) But as much as she wants to talk, and wants a moment to see him, she waits a moment, then walks away. After all, there was no point going in while someone else was there - she’d only end up threatening them, and that would ruin the moment.

A few hours later, when she’s sure the Doctor’s alone, Missy returns. When she enters the room, she does so quietly, without any of the loud dramatics that she was usually so fond of. He had been upset, she could tell, and her dramatic little scenes were reserved for when she wanted to play. But she’d wait for him to cheer up first, today. Maybe she’d sprinkle in a little drama later.

Closing the door quietly behind her, Missy steps into the room. “I thought he’d never leave.” She says half-jokingly, because she isn’t entirely sure how to start a conversation. She wants to ask if he’s okay, but... well, she’d never been very good at segueing into that sort of thing.

She properly looks around the room, then; takes it all in until she spots him on the floor, and she sighs. Silently, she walks over, then moves to sit with him; her back pressed against the other side of the TARDIS, so she’s sitting at a right angle to him. “Look; I’m creasing my skirt, sitting like this. Hope you feel special.”

[sonickedtrowel]

#32 sounds like fun!

things you said I wouldn’t understand

Happy ever after doesn't mean forever.  It just means time.  A little time.  But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?

Perhaps not, the Doctor reflected, his knee bouncing impatiently beneath the table as they finally approached the end of their last course.  (The food was delicious, probably.  He hadn’t really noticed; too busy gripping River’s hand, in case she got any more daft ideas in between starters and dessert, and trying not to stare too much.)  

Could he ever accept that a little time with her would be enough?  Of course not.  His entire being revolted against the idea with a ferocity that left him shaken.  No amount of years or centuries, no number of lives with her could ever be enough.  But they wanted the same thing, in the end: every last precious second they could get.  That, he would gladly give her.

Things always fell so effortlessly into place with River.  It had been wonderful enough just basking in her presence, but the instant she recognised him, they were together again.  She slipped back into that intimacy without a hint of hesitation, and it felt as comfortable and as thrilling as it always had.  Of course the Doctor had known she didn’t care which face he had on, but it was another thing to experience how joyfully she welcomed a new one.  With decades of night ahead of them, he felt the sun was truly shining on this old face for the first time.

“Staring again,” River observed, startling him out of his reverie.  She was covering a smile by dabbing her napkin at the corner of her mouth, but it did nothing to hide the light in her eyes.

“Ah,” the Doctor said, not bothering to feign embarrassment.  “Sorry.”

“Is that a particular quirk of this face?”

“Not generally, no.”

“Missed me, then?”

“You could say that,” he said, his voice wavering.

She turned toward him, laying her other hand over his.  “How long?”

A thousand years.  Five billion.  Forever.  So long that his memories of her had begun to seem like an impossibly beautiful dream; too good to have been real, to have ever graced his undeserving life.

“Too long,” the Doctor answered.  He wondered how she could look at him like that, with all the love and concern and understanding born of centuries of companionship, when just hours ago she’d been declaring he’d never loved her.  River squeezed his hand between hers.

“Well,” she announced after a moment, “this was wonderful, but I couldn’t eat another bite.  Shall we go, darling?” 

He could only manage a grateful nod in reply.

With one long last look at the towers, they turned and made their way back to the TARDIS.  River, evidently not in quite as much of a hurry as he was, stopped to speak to all the staff they passed on the way, lavishing praise on the meal and thanking them for the special attention they’d been given (as the original benefactors of the establishment, of course— not that he’d mentioned that bit to her yet.  He’d get to it eventually.)  

She was lovely when she was being kind and gracious, just as she was lovely when she was brandishing a gun at someone, but either way, the Doctor didn’t have the patience for dealing with other people tonight.  He wanted her attention all to himself.  They were owed a little selfishness, he thought, after all this time.  When he placed his hand at her lower back, she took mercy on him again and said her goodbyes to the hostess, letting him steer her into the TARDIS.  

The door creaked shut behind them at last, and a tense quiet descended over the room.  This was usually the part where they stumbled up to the console between laughter and kisses, argued amiably over the controls as they took off into the vortex or some unoccupied corner of deep space, and he made a show of pretending to complain about her half undressing him before they even made it to the bedroom.

River looked at him, and with his palm resting on her back, he could feel the stiff hesitance in her posture.  She was waiting, probably for a sign that he wanted that: to go on as if not a day had passed since they’d last been together.  And, god, he’d never wanted anything more in his lives.  But there was no pretending he hadn’t heard all the things she’d said today, not now.  He was done with taking the easy way out, and it was up to him to put her doubts to rest.  But where to even begin?

“So,” she said, flashing him an uncertain, tremulous smile.  Always the brave one.  “What do you want to…” she trailed off, her shining eyes searching his.  Her lips were slightly parted in silent question, and as his gaze settled there, the Doctor decided all at once to throw out the order of priorities.  Anyway, he was good at multitasking.

River made a strangled sound in her throat as his lips met hers, surprise trailing into an urgent whimper.  They stumbled into the railing, and he pressed up against her, leaving no space between them for her to fill in with doubts of whether he wanted this.  She grasped blindly for him, one hand gripping his jacket and the other winding into his hair.  They fit together just as perfectly as he’d remembered, but no memory could compare to this.  His tongue traced along her upper lip, and she tipped her head back, sighing with pleasure.

The Doctor worried for a moment that his knees would give out at the overwhelming feel of her, solid and warm and so alive, breathing sharply under his shaking hands.  His mind clouded with the bright aroma of her perfume, the soft heat of her skin, the lingering trace of champagne sparkling on her tongue.  He’d nearly forgotten what it was to love her and to have her.  Centuries of grief and longing met with sudden, miraculous relief, and the shocking reality of it was almost more than his nerves could take.  

He was shivering, but couldn’t bring himself to care if she noticed.  That was really beginning to bother him, though, the more he turned it over in his mind— the noticing.  Today’s events notwithstanding, River was far too clever not to have noticed a very long time ago that he was madly in love with her.  He hadn’t exactly made a secret of it over the centuries.  How, after so much time together, had he managed to fuck up this badly?

“Tell me, wife,” he mumbled in between graceless, needy kisses.  “Where did I go wrong?”  His hands fell to her waist, tracing up over her sides, the beading on her dress rasping under his fingertips.

“You didn’t, sweetie,” she breathed.

The Doctor huffed in disbelief.  “You thought I didn’t love you.”  He tried not to wince at the words.  No matter how painful it was for him, it was worse for her.  “You… think I don’t love you.”

“Oh, anyone can fool a lie detector,” she scoffed.  “Don’t you think I accounted for that possibility before planning his murder right under his nose?”

“River, come on.  Don’t do that.  When you said it, you meant it.  You meant it enough.”

“It, it’s not that—” she stammered, but he pressed on, forcing out the most difficult question before he lost the nerve.

“Did you always?  Did you really always believe that, our whole life together?”

“Oh, darling, no,” she said, stroking his face.  “Of course not.”  

“Because— I’m not trying to make excuses, I know I can be rubbish— but I thought I’d been sort of extremely clear on that point?  I’m, I’m sure there were a lot of honeymoons, and, uh, some poetry…”

River breathed out a soft laugh, her hand still resting against his cheek, and he leaned into her palm.  She had no reason to be looking at him with such affection when he’d clearly been completely inadequate as a husband to her.

“It was just… after Manhattan,” she said, and glanced down, avoiding his eyes.  “You were gone, and…  after a while, I thought I’d rather pretend it had never been real, than admit I’d lost everything.  I knew better.  I did,” she insisted, when he frowned at her.  “But it was… easier.  To run off and get into trouble you wouldn’t approve of, and tell myself you didn’t care anyway.”

The Doctor let out a heavy breath, resting his forehead against hers.  “You never lost me, River.  You never could.  You were always younger, after that.  I should have come back for you, looked for you where you are now.  But I thought if I did, I wouldn’t be able to hold this off any longer.”  He swallowed tightly, choking back tears.  “I’m sorry.  I… I did ask you to stay.”

“I know.”

“I meant it.  I’ve always wanted that.”

“Me too,” she whispered.

“Give me another chance?”

“Always.  If that’s still what you want.”

“Wha— of course it is,” the Doctor sputtered, incredulous.  “You’re my wife.”

“You do have others.”  She made a good show of teasing him, but he knew better now.

“River,” he sighed, “those were weddings, not marriages.  Any idiot can stumble into a wedding, but there’s only so many times you can keep coming back and still call it an accident.  I think we were well past that number by our wedding night, dear.  —Which,” he added as she laughed, smiling up at him through tears, “is also a thing none of the other ones had.  I married you on purpose, and I’m going to stay right here with you on purpose, because I love you, and being with you is— it’s all I want.  Is that okay?”

He was alarmed for a moment when River choked out a sob, but she was still smiling as she nodded, her tear-streaked cheeks shining.  Then she took his face firmly in both hands and kissed him with such frantic passion that his head spun.  Or, maybe not just his head.  Before he’d quite figured out what was happening, she’d flipped them about so he was pinned against the railing instead.

“Oh,” the Doctor croaked.  The sudden jolt of heat tingling through his body as he reflexively gripped her hips was another thing he’d nearly completely forgotten.  It would seem he still enjoyed nothing more than River casually demonstrating she could kill him with her little finger, but had decided to do very nice things to him instead.  It was just so her.  His wife, the obstinate assassin.  Not even a lifetime of brainwashing could compel her to do anything she didn’t want to do.  Lucky bastard that he was, she’d decided she wanted to love him.

“Know what I said about how everything isn’t sexy?” he muttered.  She pulled back just enough to raise an eyebrow at him.  “I’m prepared to make an exception.”

River laughed, pleased and warm.  “Aren’t you always?”

“Only for you, dear.”

“Mmm, good answer.”

“Bedroom?” he suggested.

“Thought you’d never ask,” she sighed.  “But… we should probably park her somewhere other than the restaurant lobby first.”

“Oh, right.  Good idea.”

They stumbled to the console between laughter and kisses, and bickered cheerfully over the map of their new home planet on the scanner, before deciding that moving her just outside the restaurant was good enough for now.  There’d be plenty of time to settle in wherever they chose later.

“You know,” River said as they turned down the corridor to the bedroom, “since you mentioned it.  You did write me the most lovely poetry.  I keep them all in my diary.  Have you written anything lately?”

“Er, written yes; poetry no.”

“Oh?”

“Electric guitar, mostly.”

“Really!” she exclaimed, delighted.  “Now that is definitely sexy.”

“Yeah?” the Doctor asked, a grin spreading over his face.

“Very.  What inspired you to take it up?”

“Ah, well, I don’t know,” he said, slipping his arm around her waist.  “Guess I’m always thinking of a song.”

[liron-ao3]

Brilliant

A Doctor Who–Destiel–Malec Oneshot

"This is brilliant!" the Doctor exclaims. She pushes some buttons on the console of the TARDIS. "Brilliant!"

"How is this 'brilliant'?" Alec asks. "We're trapped in a TV show."

"No, we are trapped in a TV series, Shadowhunter," Yaz hisses.

Castiel huffs in frustration. "It's probably just one of Gabriel's stupid jokes."

"Gabriel?" the Doctor asks. "Oh, the Archangel. Amy loved him, but not as much as she loved you, Cass."

"Where do you know his name from?" Dean demands to know.

The Doctor rolls her eyes. "I watched the show, Dean. Crappy ending, sorry."

"You... what!?" Dean asks.

"Nevermind. That's more brain-wracking than the usual time travel paradoxes. But I'm thrilled to meet you all. Umm—what are you doing, Magnus?" She raises an eyebrow at the warlock who lets his magic run over the console.

"This is worse than the technology in the Institute," he mutters.

Alec pulls him away cautiously. "Maybe you shouldn't mess with it then, love?" he suggests, smiling strained, holding tight on his husband's hand.

"Aww, you're the reboot version. I was so happy when Netflix saw sense. And your boys are the cutest," the Doctor chirps.

"Boys?" Magnus asks.

"Doctor, they might be from episode one of season four. Look at their clothes," Yaz whispers, but it's loud enough for Dean to hear it.

"There are only three seasons of Shadowhunters," he states. "It ends when they marry and Clary loses her memories, but gets them back in the last few seconds. It wasn't the best ending, but at least the gays were happy." Dean's grin reaches from ear to ear before it falters at Castiel's stern look.

"Dean, did you watch 3b without me?"

Dean shrugs. "If you wouldn't always run out on me or die then we coulda watched it. It was on my playlist for aeons. And I needed something to distract me from… You know." He waves his hand up and down the angel.

"Jesus! That's like that time when Sam and I were in this weird Hollywood dimension, with that Russian guy that looked like Cass!"

"Wait!" Magnus says. "I watched Doctor Who for six decades and Supernatural for fifteen years—I agree, Doctor, the 'finale' was crap. But if you all know us from a show called Shadowhunters, then we must be in some kind of dimension that morphs everything into a TV series that everyone else has watched."

The Doctor claps her hands together. "The French mistake—one of my favourites!"

"No, Russian." Dean shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He always loved the Doctor and was excited for a woman to take over the role, but he thinks he might have been able to live without her enthusiasm about their little get together. They have a world to save, after all.

"Chuck has a strange sense of humour, but that doesn't sound like one of his interventions," Alec states. "Why would he put us all in the TARDIS?"

"What do we all have in common?" Dean asks.

"We're kinda humans," Alec says.

"Time Lady."

"Angel."

"Warlock. And you're not fully human either, Alexander."

The shadowhunter chews his lips.

"But you three have some kind of mojo," Dean supplies.

The Doctor furrows her brow. "You're right. Cass has grace, Magnus magic, and timelord technology is so highly evolved, it could be seen as magical. If there is a—" she trails off and points her sonic screwdriver first at the warlock then at the angel. Then she listens to her ship. "You're right," she says and putters about the console.

"Care to fill us in?" Alec asks.

The Doctor pushes a button and a high-pitched sound makes them all cover their ears. "Gotcha!"

"What?" Castiel asks.

"I know what we have in common. We all have a fam. You've got the SPN family, and you," she turns to Alec and Magnus, "your fans call themselves shadowfam. And I?" She smiles brightly. "I have Yaz, Graham, and Ryan."

"You agreed on team TARDIS, Doctor," Magnus reminds her.

"Still, feels like fam to me." She shrugs. "So…" She quirks her lips in thought. "Some blood magic, maybe?"

"But family doesn't end in blood," Dean argues.

"Right, Bobby taught you that. Wish the showrunners remembered that in season 15," Alec murmurs. Dean gives him a strange side look.

"Is something wrong, Dean?"

"Nah, Cass," he says and pulls his gaze from the intertwined hands of the Lightwood-Banes. "So, maybe some rune thingy?"

Alec pulls a face. "Could turn Yaz and you into forsakens. Maybe even the Doctor. Better not."

"Can't you just put the coordinates in and throw us out in the bunker. Or in front of it? No idea if the warding would keep the TARDIS out or not." Dean frowns.

"Wouldn't work," Magnus says. "If this dimension, or whatever it is, thinks that we are all fictional, then the coordinates can't bring us into our worlds. We might end up in your dimension. I like our vampires better."

"Awesome!" Dean groans.

Magnus curls his fingers around his chin in deep thought. "I could summon a dimension demon, but they usually demand things one would rather die than do."

"Like what?" Castiel asks.

"The last time I had to pay one, he wanted me to drink seelie wine."

"Doesn't sound too bad," Dean says.

"You've never had seelie wine. That stuff is worse than the touch of a Djinn." Dean whistles in acknowledgement.

"Could still be worth it. I mean we need to get back to our friends, and yours are surely waiting, too," Yaz supplies.

"The TARDIS is stuck in this dimension, Doc?" Alec asks.

"Yes. Positive."

"Then we should begin," Magnus says, conjuring chalks. "We all will be home soon."

***

They stand in a circle around the pentagram drawn on the floor of the TARDIS.

"We must initiate a bond. Once this bond is sealed,..." Magnus starts.

"...it cannot be broken until the demon retreats," Castiel ends his sentence and smiles softly at Alec, who blushes fiercely.

"Well, this time, I won't be the one who'll break it in a gay panic," he huffs. Yaz snickers.

Dean furrows his brow, ignoring Castiel eyeing him. He recites the summoning spell together with Magnus and the Doctor. Green flames rise in their midst. They aren't hot, but their sight hurts the eyes. A deep growl speaks to them, and Castiel turns pale.

"I haven't heard this demonic dialect in a while," he calls over the noises. "Did he say what I think he said?"

Magnus worries his lip between his teeth. "I think he did."

"I can't."

"What, Cass. What does he ask for? Give it to him. It can't be that bad," Dean shouts.

"It isn't. At least not for me." Castiel looks at the Doctor. "Any Supernatural sequels you've seen by any chance?"

"No, sorry. I got stuck at the Destiel YouTube vids. Didn't get around to checking future releases. But you two always reminded me of Rose and me, you know?" She looks sad at the memory of her lost love.

"No. A human doppelgänger won't do," Castiel says firmly. He says something in the demon's tongue and gets a rumble in reply.

Magnus nods at him. "My magic can hold the circle. But hurry."

The others stare at them. "Why doesn't the TARDIS translate his words?" Yaz asks.

"This demon is too old," the Doctor says. "Even older than evil itself. No one speaks this language anymore but angels and demon-blooded ones, as it seems."

"Lucky me, huh?" Castiel presses out. He lets go of Magnus' hand and turns to Dean. The warlock holds the gap with his magic. "I know how you see yourself, Dean…"

"We don't have time for the whole death speech. Fast forward," Magnus hisses, clearly struggling to hold the bond.

Castiel frowns at him but nods. He turns his face back to Dean. "I'm sorry. I know you never wanted that to happen. It's simply what the demon demands. It doesn't have to mean anything, okay?"

"What are you talking about, man?"

Castiel smiles at him. "I love you." And then he leans in and kisses him. It's chaste but after a moment of shock, Dean returns the kiss, and his hand cards through Castiel's hair. Thunder booms around them and dense fog separates the different duos. The demon disappears with a screeching noise and when the fog thins out, the places where the two couples were standing are empty.

"It worked!" the Doctor rejoices. Yaz grins at her. "Let's get to the boys."

"No, Mulder, this isn't a UFO. It's surely just a high-quality film set," a redhead in pantsuit and coat says as she strolls into the room.

"Scully!" the Doctor cheers. "Brilliant!"

[riversofmars]

Can I ask you for a prompt about Thirteen stalking River at a dozen points throughout River's timeline (and all out of order)?? xx Thank you.

Hello! This is a brilliant prompt that I’ve actually been saving for the right moment :D I wanted to do it as a slightly bigger project and here we are. So this is going to be the first chapter of 12, one for each encounter (no way was I gonna do this in a one-shot lol), they’ll probably vary in length. I’m also planning on using some of the other prompts I’ve got sitting here for the encounters cause some are just perfect for it. All one big story though, chronological from the Doctor’s point of view, all over the place for River. :D

Starting off a bit serious but will turn lighter as we go along. Something (relatively) light and entertaining before I throw myself into something more serious again. Hope you’ll enjoy this!

Rating: G

Word Count: 2600

Read below or on AO3

Big, Vast, Complicated and Ridiculous

Chapter 1: The Library

The TARDIS materialised in the complete silence that engulfed the Library. Only the light atop the TARDIS reflected on the marble floor, the whole planet was shrouded in living, breathing darkness. There were a great many terrifying things in the universe, the Vashta Nerada certainly ranked right up there, but very few things actually scared the Doctor anymore. When she opened the TARDIS door, the golden light shining from behind her pushed the shadows back.

“I’m the Doctor, remember me?“ She spoke into the silence as she stepped out of her TARDIS and the shadows retreated from where she set her foot. “I’m not here to disturb you, I just want to see my wife.“ She said but didn’t get a response. She hadn’t expected one, there was no body for the shadows to inhabit and talk to her. “I just destroyed an army of Daleks… don’t mess with me right now, keep out of my hair and I will keep out of yours.“ Her voice was low and threatening. She hardly recognised herself anymore. It was one of the many reasons she was here. Nineteen years she had spent locked away with plenty of time to think. Being rescued and seeing off a Dalek invasion hadn’t done much to alleviate her gloom. If anything, it had pushed her further in a direction she wasn’t sure she wanted to be going in.

“Where are we going to go?“ Yaz had asked after Ryan and Graham had left the TARDIS.

“I…“ the Doctor hadn’t been sure what to say, heading off on another random adventure just didn’t feel right. Not when she had so many questions that needed answering, so many things she needed to figure out about herself. “I need to find out who I am, Yaz…“ She had said at last, squaring her jaw. She couldn’t just keep going, carrying all these questions with her. She felt so far removed from herself, how could she be carrying on in the name of the Doctor, when she didn’t even know who that person was anymore?

“Then we will do that.“ Yaz had said encouragingly. “Where do you want to start?“

The Doctor had thought about the answer to that question a lot in the nineteen years she’d been locked up. She’d taken a deep breath, gathering herself.

“There is someone I need to go and see, someone that knows me better than anyone else in the universe.“ She’d answered.

“Right, great, who is it? Where are we going?“ Yaz had asked, full of enthusiasm that had just been too much for the Doctor at the time.

“Yaz, this is something I need to do by myself…“ She’d said after brief consideration and Yaz’s face had fallen. “I promise I won’t keep you waiting long, I will pick you up again soon, but this bit… it’s personal.“ The Doctor had looked away, busying herself by setting coordinates and not face Yaz’s disappointment.

“Oh… but you said…“ Yaz hadn’t given up easily and it had taken a lot out of the Doctor to muster the needed enthusiasm.

“I’ll be back by the time you’ve packed a bag.“ The Doctor had smiled and meant it. She was glad at least one of her friends still wanted to travel with her but the place she needed to go, that was something she had to do by herself.

“I will be back here in an hour and if you’re not, Doctor, so help me, I…“ Yaz had tried her best to understand, she’d known her friend was struggling and if that was something she had to do by herself, she would have to give her that time.

“One hour it is.“ The Doctor had put on an optimistic smile. “I got my phone back as well, you can reach me any time, don’t worry.“

Yaz had given in to her persuasive and optimistic promise. Any trace of that enthusiasm the Doctor had mustered for her companion had drained away now. She didn’t need to pretend here, amongst the shadows. She had every right to be bitter, every right to be angry and sad and grieving. The shadows had been there and seen it all and they understood. Her threatening tone certainly had the desired effect as the shadows retreated and created a walk way to the nearest computer screen. The Doctor made her way over to the terminal and accessed it right away, before she could let her anxieties overwhelm her.

“CAL?“ She spoke as the computer engaged and powered up. “CAL? I need to talk to River.“

“Way ahead of you, Sweetie.“ River’s face appeared on the screen, giving her a warm smile that made the Doctor’s chest tighten immediately. She’d known seeing her like this would be hard, but to see that love and warmth in her eyes was more painful than anger at her long absence could have been.

“River, I… I’m so sorry I didn’t come sooner…“ The Doctor grabbed on to the terminal, trying to get as close as she could although she knew, of course, that it made no difference. River wasn’t physically there. She was just a voice, a consciousness, inside a computer. That knowledge made it hard for the Doctor to breath.

“I’m sure you have been very busy, saving the universe and all that.“ River chuckled lightheartedly and the Doctor couldn’t be sure if she actually meant it or if she was being sarcastic. She wasn’t good at reading people’s expressions at the best of times and she certainly didn’t feel her best right about now. “What brings you here now?“ River asked, tilting her head and the Doctor’s hearts sank. She knew her too well to assume she’d come without an anterior motive.

“I, uh… I’m feeling really lost right now and I thought… I just needed to see you again… I think I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be the Doctor…“ The Doctor confessed, unable to keep up the pretence any longer. They were alone, just her and River, the woman who had seen the best and the worst of her, knew everything about her, every face, everything she’d done… and still loved her regardless.

“Ah this again.“ River gave her a kind smile. “You have an identity crisis and you come to your old wife for a pep talk?“ She chuckled.

“River, you don’t understand, the timelords, they kept so much from me, I don’t even know my own life. I’m not even one of them. Turns out I’m just a foundling with these abilities that they then took for themselves. And I don’t even remember any of it, they took the memories…“ The Doctor started rambling. She didn’t know what to say or how to explain, it was just so much. River remained silent, just listening, allowing her to carry on: “I’m just so angry, I’ve done some really bad things and I can feel myself slipping into all that anger and…“ The Doctor closed her eyes, trying to block out the memory of Gallifrey burning, of the Master laughing, of her destroying a TARDIS to wipe out the Daleks…

“The anger of a good man is not a problem.“ River smiled, echoing a voice from their joint past and the Doctor actually laughed.

“You know I’m not a good man, River.“ She shook her head bitterly.

“That’s where you’re wrong, my Love. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. Or woman, come to think of it.“ River chuckled.

“I’m being serious, River.“ The Doctor shook her head. Why wasn’t she taking her seriously?

“So am I.“ River replied more firmly and the Doctor looked up at her. “You might feel yourself slipping and you might end up doing bad things, terrible things even but never without reason. Sometimes there isn’t a right choice so you have to make a hard one and you do. It’s what you have to do. And it’s not always easy but you always find your way back to yourself.“

“Last time this happened, you were there, to pull me back from the brink. At Demon’s Run. You said I make them so afraid… and I could see that. And I do again, now. This is not what Doctor is supposed to mean.“ The Doctor lowered her eyes again, ashamed for her actions. She remembered Demon’s Run well. Her hubris had been her downfall then. She could feel herself slipping back into that dark mindset, the anger she’d felt towards Madame Kovarian, the fear for Amy…

“Oh darling, you might have a temporary and possibly well founded identity crisis but you’re still the Doctor, my Doctor.“ River smiled kindly as it was the best she could do and the Doctor wished nothing more than to be able to touch her. Fall into her arms and have her tell her everything would be alright again. That she would work it out like she always did. That she was still proud of her, still believed in her, still loved her.

“You know I want nothing more than to be that person. For you, if nothing else. But how do I do it?“ She retorted, almost desperately.

“I’m sorry, my Love, I can’t tell you that, those experiences have to be lived, not told. I think you’d been sitting still for too long, you’ve forgotten what the thrill of adventure feels like, the joy of helping and saving someone. What it means to be the good guy and stand up for what’s right… To actually have fun again.“ River’s smile was full of compassion.

“Is that your advice? Just go back out there and find adventure and live?“ The Doctor laughed in a bitter sort of way and shook her head in disbelief.

“Something like that. Answers to the big questions have a habit of finding you along the way… I’m afraid you have quite a way to go yet before then but you want to be your best self when you do, don’t you?“ River shrugged.

“That’s not… how am I to do that if I don’t know how to carry on?“ The Doctor snapped, frustrated. Did River not understand what she was saying? How could she just suggest she carry on and find herself along the way. She had tried on Earth, fighting off the Daleks, and she had not acted like the Doctor at all. If she put herself in the midst of another adventure, what was to stop her from making the wrong choices? How was she to act like the Doctor if she couldn’t think like them anymore?

“What did you expect to find here? I’m just a face in a computer.“ River retorted pulling the Doctor out of her frenzied thoughts.

“River you…“ The Doctor felt guilty immediately, she had been so wrapped up in herself. River was so much more than that to her, even now.

“No, Doctor, you can’t come here and expect me to help fix you, you’ll have to do that yourself and you’re only going to do that by carrying on.“ River said sternly.

“To do that, I need you, I need your help.“ The Doctor confessed why she had really come. “When I’m with you, it’s like… I know who I’m meant to be. You make me a better person.“ She couldn’t help but think back to the time right after Darillium. How she had kept her diary close, River’s words guiding her through some of the hardest decisions of her life. She pushed her hand into her coat pocket and pulled out River’s diary. “I need… I need more.“ She looked at the well worn blue cover and then to River. She could see the flash of deep emotion in her eyes that she tried to hide with a dazzling smile as usual.

“Then you have come to the wrong version of me, haven’t you.“ River chuckled, the sadness gone from her eyes. “I’m stuck in a computer, Doctor, but there are plenty younger versions of me running around out there.“

“But, the diary…“ The Doctor had read it cover to cover many times. Even all the encounters River had had with her past selves before she’d even known who she was. It was all there. She had lived and read it all already.

“Oh Doctor, my dear Doctor, I was never going to put it all in there, was I.“ River smirked and the Doctor looked up dumbfounded as the penny dropped.

“You recognised me!“ She exclaimed. “You knew it was me straight away!“

“Of course I did, Sweetie. That particularly pretty face of yours has been all over my timeline.“ River grinned.

“It has?“ The Doctor’s head was spinning as her world turned upside down. Was this River’s way of telling her that this was not the end of their story?

“Well, it’s one of those timey wimey things, isn’t it. You come here distraught and talk to me, I tell you to see my younger selves, you tell my younger self not to put it in the diary, so you don’t know about those adventures and come here distraught to talk to me…“ River smirked drawing a circle in the air as the Doctor buried her face in her hands and groaned, annoyed at how she hadn’t seen this coming, it was just them all over. Her and River, time and space… Rule 1: The Doctor and River lie. She looked at River’s smiling face and felt much lighter than she had in a long time. Perhaps she could do this after all. Perhaps if she had those encounters to look forward to, she could keep going. River laughed: “See Sweetie, it’s never over for us, is it. All that time and space, we’re still running together, somewhere out there, and we will never stop. Maybe just delay for a time.“

“Maybe I’ll even get you out of here one day.“ The Doctor said the words before she could think better of it. Maybe she could, one day, make up for the one thing she regretted more than anything else.

“Maybe you will.“ River chuckled airily. “Until then, have fun with my younger self. Those were some good times.“ She gave her a wink.

“I will come back.“ The Doctor promised with renewed determination.

“Until then, my love.“ River blew her a kiss and before the Doctor could muster the strength for more meaningful goodbyes, the screen went black. The Doctor shook her head to herself, she was sure River had done it on purpose to make sure she would actually come back.

It was a strange mix of feelings as she returned to the TARDIS, she still felt the anger bubbling inside her, the nagging questions… but there was hope now, too, something to look forward to. The TARDIS hummed and wheezed as the Doctor closed the door behind herself, back in the comforting light and safety.

“Yes, she’s fine…“ The Doctor answered the TARDIS’s question as she stepped up to the console. “At least I think so… I didn’t exactly ask but she looked fine… I mean, she’s an image on a computer screen so of course she looks fine, she’ll always look like she did when she was uploaded I guess… But she didn’t say anything about not being fine… She did say we would see her again though.“ The Doctor found herself grinning now. “Let’s pick up Yaz and then, who knows… maybe we will run into her, wouldn’t that be something.“ She pushed the lever down and the TARDIS jumped into the time vortex. Th journey took no time at all and they landed only moments later. The Doctor skipped over to the door, already picking out suitable travel destinations in her head for their next adventure, and ready to welcome Yaz back.

“Okay… this is not Sheffield!“ The Doctor’s face fell as she opened the TARDIS door. Slowly, she stepped outside into blinding sunshine. “Yaz is going to kill me if I’m late.“ She scolded the TARDIS. “Why are you doing this?“  

[fabulouspotatosister]

please dial again later

summary: you call the doctor. the doctor gets your call a little too late.

word count: ill add this later 1,483

a/n: not a request fill, just a little idea i had that i needed to get down. school is coming up very very very very soon, and i'm a lil stressed out so i haven't really been writing, but hopefully i'll get those requests done soon! this fic is kinda dedicated to @bushlandwriting, whose tags on their reblogs have really been getting me through the back-to-school rush. thanks so much lovely!

(also i almost titled this "you used to call me on my cellphone", so enjoy)

gif credit: @minimoefoe

--

Ring, ring!

The gentle chimes of a phone ringing filled the interior of the TARDIS console room, the soft sound bouncing off the hexagonal walls. The Doctor looked up from her work - well, it wasn’t really important work, she was just tinkering, but if it kept her mind busy then it was work - and caught Yaz’s eye from across the room. She was staring at her phone, confusion written over her face, and the Doctor caught her question before she could even open her mouth.

“Wondering why you’re getting a call in the Time Vortex?” the Doctor asked, pulling her goggles off her face. 

“How’d you…” Yaz trailed off. Her bewildered expression morphed into an amused smile. “Nevermind.”

The Doctor bounded over to Yaz’s side and leaned over her shoulder to look at the phone’s screen. Unknown number, it read, the slide to accept button flashing slowly. Yaz eyed her phone apprehensively. “Should I accept it?” 

“Why not? No harm in trying,” the Doctor replied. “Well, there might be. But we’re in the Time Vortex. Should be fine.”

Yaz swiped the button. Glancing at the Doctor, she lifted the phone to her ear and spoke. “Hello?”

The Doctor watched Yaz’s eyebrows pinch in confusion, watched her mouth hanging open as the person on the other end spoke. Then, silently, she lowered the phone and held it towards the Doctor. 

“They’re asking for you,” Yaz said.

“What?” The Doctor took the phone from Yaz’s hand and looked at the screen. It still read unknown number, but now the chances of it being someone unknown where much slimmer. The Doctor didn’t know why that scared her so much. “Are you sure they called for me and not another Doctor?”

“There aren’t more of you,” Yaz said. “Are there?”

Loads, the Doctor wanted to say. “In a way,” she said instead. “This call might not even be for me.”

“No harm in trying,” Yaz echoed. A quiet voice crackled from the phone’s speaker, and the Doctor gulped. 

“Right,” she muttered. She turned around, slowly lifting the phone to her ear, and took a deep breath. “Hello? The Doctor speaking.”

“...hello?”

The Doctor froze.

To Yaz, she looked perfectly calm. Standing still with her feet planted to the floor. But to the Doctor, calm had an entirely different definition: calm meant that her racing mind had just stuttered to a stop and calm meant she didn’t know what to do next. 

It was you on the other end of the line.

You spoke again, soft and croaky. “I’m sorry, who is this? Have I got the wrong number? Uh, I’ll just hang up -”

The Doctor could practically feel you - hearing your voice is enough to make her imagine you by her side, just like you were so long ago. Your smile, your laugh, bright against anything the universe threw at you. 

She wanted to scream. She wanted to shout, cry, throw Yaz’s phone against the wall, curse the TARDIS for the call. 

She did none of those things. Deep breath, Doctor. “Wait,” she said, her voice strained. “It’s me, I’m the Doctor.”

You coughed. It sounded strange through the phone. She remembered this, the memory coming to the front of her brain clearly - one day, when she was a bowtie-wearing young man, she’d dropped you off at your home and you’d gotten sick. She remembered coming to your house and seeing you days later, miserable and wrapped up in blankets. She remembered you complaining that she hadn’t picked up your calls. She remembered tucking you into bed and waiting until you’d fallen asleep to climb into bed and lie next to you.

“No,” you chuckled. “No, you’re not the Doctor. He’s a guy.”

“I’ve had an upgrade,” the Doctor said. You laughed softly, your breaths puffing against the receiver. You were probably still lying in your bed, waiting. “Hello, sweetheart.”

“Oh.” You were silent for a moment. The Doctor heard the faint rustling of sheets as you shifted. “Well, hello there, future Doctor.”

The Doctor could feel a wave of emotion washing over her, and she closed her eyes. If Yaz looked hard enough, she would have seen the Doctor’s hands shaking ever so slightly. Regret washed over her first, so heavy she could have drowned in it. 

“Are you still there?”

“Always,” the Doctor whispered.

“Okay, good,” you said, then hummed. “Is this a spoiler? Everything River’s told me so far is telling me that this is a spoiler. But I think it’s a good spoiler.”

“Why?”

“You sound really cute,” you murmured, your voice heavy with sleep. “I really like your accent. Are you from the North now?”

“Suppose I am,” she replied. “You like it?”

You yawned, and the Doctor couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “Are you what I have to look forward to?”

You would never even get to see her twelfth face. “Yes,” the Doctor said, her throat closing up. “I think you should get really excited.”

“Hang on, super important question,” you said suddenly. The sheets rustled again, like you had sat up quickly. “Are you finally ginger?”

The Doctor smiled again, though her hearts were twisting in her chest. This was a taste of what it would have been like if you had survived, if she hadn’t failed to protect you, and she wanted it. “No. But I am blonde.”

You sighed dramatically and fell back against your bed with a thump. “You know what they say about blondes, they have more fun. Speaking of fun, am I having fun? With you?”

The Doctor opened her eyes and turned around, glancing at Yaz. Yaz startled - there were tears running down her face, stray strands of blonde hair plastered to her skin. You’d struck the Doctor, deep in her hearts. It hurt, and all the Doctor could think was “why?” Why this? Why you? Why now, when you weren’t by her side anymore? What was this if not torture for her aching hearts?

“Spoilers,” the Doctor croaked. 

You laughed. You laughed, and the Doctor nearly broke. The wounds of your departure weren’t fresh, but the sound of your laugh was enough to draw blood once again. She didn’t want to admit that she missed you, because it meant that you were truly gone.

But it was the truth. “I miss you.”

“Miss you too,” you sang. Your voice stuttered, words overlapping over one another - the call was breaking up - but she tried to hold on to the cheeriness in your voice. “Oh - someone’s at the door -”

“That’ll be me,” the Doctor said.  And if it was her last chance to say it - “Goodbye.”

“No, not goodbye,” you said, and the Doctor imagined you smiling so brightly at her, “see you soon.”

The TARDIS broke the connection.

“Yeah,” the Doctor whispered. “See you soon.”

--

The doorbell rang again. Still giddy, you threw your phone onto your bed and stumbled down the stairs, your blanket wrapped tight around your body. What a call! You’d have to make sure it wasn’t a strange fever dream later.

You opened the door and grinned at your visitor - the Doctor, your floppy-haired bowtie-wearing Doctor stood in your doorway, a bright smile on his face. His smile dropped a little when he saw you, and he leaned forward to look at your face. “Are you alright?”

You probably looked like a mess. You hadn’t combed your hair since you laboriously climbed out of the shower, your face was flushed with a fever, and you were like a burrito inside your thick blanket, trying to keep away the chill. The answer, of course, was no, but you had more pressing questions.

“You weren’t answering my calls,” you said, pouting, and the Doctor paled. “Someone else picked up.”

“Who?” the Doctor asked, wide-eyed. “The TARDIS must have rerouted the call, did you get Sandshoes? Please don’t tell me you got Sandshoes -”

You laughed, cutting him off. “No, I didn’t get Sandshoes. Or Technicolor Dream Coat. I got a girl.”

The Doctor’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “I’m going to be a girl?”

“She’s blonde,” you said cheerily. The Doctor frowned, stepping inside and shutting the door carefully behind him.

“Blonde isn’t ginger,” the Doctor grumbled. A second later, his face broke into a big smile. “That’s brilliant, though. I’ve always wanted to be blonde! That was second to ginger.”

“She had a cute accent,” you continued. “I think you’re going to be really pretty.”

“Yeah?” The Doctor grinned. “I’m already pretty. Or so I’ve been told.”

“Quit fishing for compliments, pretty boy,” you chimed, sidling up to him and resting your head against his shoulder. The Doctor wrapped a careful arm around you, and you settled into his warm touch. “I’ve really missed you.”

(And hundreds of years away, the Doctor lived in the memory of you cradled in her arms, enjoying the time you still had together.)

[edelwoodsouls]

i still pick up at the sound of your call [fic]

"Is that a dalek on tv?" [or: Martha has some choice questions for the Doctor regarding the new Prime Minister's addess]

Inspired by this post

Word Count: 1,799 | Also on Ao3

"Oi, what the fuck is going on?"

The Doctor blinks. Pulls the phone away from her ear, to check the number again, check she isn't hallucinating. She'd hardly believed it when she saw it, hasn't seen those numbers strung together in years, though they're still burned into her mind.

Another life, another time.

Another friend burned to ashes.

She hesitates, for just a moment. Takes a deep breath. "Hey, Martha," she cringes instantly at the hollow lightness of her tone, only drawing attention to the lifetimes between their last words. "What's up?"

A heavy pause on the other end. The Doctor tries to imagine her old companion, for just a moment. She'd promised herself she would check up on her friends from time to time, make sure they were okay, if she could help them from the shadows in any way - but that promise has fallen between the cracks, lost along the way with everything she ever thought was true.

The last time she saw Martha, she saved her life. Moments before her own - his own, back then - had slipped between her fingers.

She'd looked happy. The Doctor could never have predicted Martha and Mickey of all people, but she was glad for them. She had ruined their lives in so many ways by crashing through them, by falling in love with Rose - this was the least they deserved.

So she imagines Martha like that. Curled up on the sofa, cornrowed hair and sparkling eyes. Legs tangled up with Mickey as they watch tv in the burnt orange glow of a dying London afternoon.

Oh, fuck. The tv.

"Uh, hi," Martha answers finally, wrong-footed and uncertain. "I wanted to speak to the Doctor, could you put him on, please? Sorry, I- uh, I'm Martha. Jones. I used to travel with him. I'm guessing you're the new companion? What happened to Donna?"

An unexpected lump rises in the Doctor's throat. Thousands of years - thousands - have passed since she last bothered to check in on Martha Jones. How many companions have been and gone in that time? How many have crumbled to ash beneath her fingers?

She swallows it down, files it under Compartmentalise, and Never Think of Again.

Sunshine. Enthusiasm. Energy. The tenets she's founded herself on this go around. She plasters a bright smile on her face, as if contorting her muscles will trick her tone into believing she means it.

"Just me, I'm afraid," she grins, skipping around the TARDIS to fiddle with the controls to keep her hands busy. "Had a bit of a change of face since you last saw me."

Furious whispers on the other side of the phone, far enough away from the receiver that even she can't hear them. She imagines Martha and Mickey, confusion and surprise warring with each other.

This reveal never gets old.

"Sooo, how've you been? How's Mickey? It's been, what, nearly ten years since you last saw me?"

"Uh, yeah," Martha returns to the phone, hesitant. She's never had to deal with regeneration, really. "I didn't know you could- I mean, when you said you change, I didn't realise that-"

"I can be anything I like! It's great, innit? I could have two heads or green skin if I felt like it. First time I've been a woman, though. Well, first time I remember, I guess. Still haven't been ginger, though. Maybe one day."

"Different face, same amount of energy," Martha laughs, and the sound lifts a weight from the Doctor's chest she didn't even know was there. "Mickey says hi."

"Yeah- hi!" A more distant voice echoes through the phone, startled at being addressed.

"Hi! It's great to hear from you!" She twirls the phone cord around a finger. If there's one thing she always regrets in her lives, it's the way her previous selves treated their companions. Each one with a different idea of relationships, of how things should be done.

This version of her thinks Mickey would be a great companion, if not for her Rose-tinted blinders.

"So, to what do I owe this call? Hope you kids have been keeping out of trouble, though somehow, I doubt it."

"Right!" Martha yelps. The whole regeneration thing definitely threw her for a loop. "Yeah, Doctor, what the fuck is going on? Is that a dalek we just saw on tv?"

"Ah, yeah... it is, yeah."

"And?"

"And I'm sorting it out?" The Doctor glances over her shoulder, towards the corridor the fam disappeared down a few minutes ago to get ready. They'll be back any second.

It's not that the Doctor doesn't want the fam to know about her old companions. They've met Jack, know she hasn't been on her own all this time, but- still.

Her companions don't have the best survival rate. It's selfish, probably, to keep having them, and yet she somehow never goes without them for long.

(She's lonely, she knows it. She's not a good person on her own. She clings to these fragments of knowledge and calls it reason.)

"But why is there a dalek on tv, Doctor? New security drones, that's what they're saying. Do they not remember the whole Earth-moving, twenty-seven planets, dalek invasion thing?"

"Or the Battle of Canary Wharf?" Mickey adds, words heavy with an underlying anger. Rose was lost to save the world from daleks, after all.

The least she deserves is to have her sacrifice remembered.

"I'm not sure, to be honest," the Doctor admits, flinging herself onto one of the crystalline seats near the console. "It's incredibly weird, actually. As far as I can tell, the entire human race has forgotten that aliens exist at all. No stolen Earth, no Titanic flying over London or Racnoss star at Christmas. No Battle of Canary Wharf."

"That's- I mean, how does that even happen?"

"I have no idea. Something to do with collective consciousness, I'd guess. Some manipulation from another race wanting to remove Earth's knowledge and wariness of aliens. The Arkangel network is still flying strong in your orbit, after all. It wouldn't be so hard to harness the technology. Maybe even your own governments, or some rogue branch of Torchwood. I never did find Torchwood 2 or 4."

"Then how the hell do we still remember?"

"Probably my fault. You're still keyed into the TARDIS's neural network, so she's protecting you from the effects. Sorry about that."

"No, it's- it's good," Martha splutters. "Are you going to try and fix it?"

"Maybe," the Doctor leans back in her chair, pulling the phone cord as far as it will go. "Once all of this is over, I might look into it. Just to check if it's malevolent or not. It's not a bad thing, necessarily. To forget. Some of things they must have seen..."

She shakes her head to clear it. Can't let herself stop and think for too long, or she might never escape the whirlpool's tide.

"Anyway," Martha says - she always was good at noticing her spirals, circumventing them. "How's Donna?"

Nevermind. She speaks the words lightly, but in a tone that says she noticed the Doctor's avoidance earlier and is bracing for bad news.

"She's great!" the Doctor manages a smile, glad to have something, anything to latch onto that isn't her own thoughts. "Happily married, actually. Won the lottery a few years ago, doing very well for herself."

"That's- that's really good to hear."

"She doesn't remember me." She lets the words fall, as much as she wishes she could hold them close and buried and gone. But Donna needs to be kept safe, and Martha reaching out to her would be- not good. "She doesn't remember anything that happened. I- I had to wipe her memory, after the daleks. It was killing her."

The silence stretches longer this time, and for a moment the Doctor is sure she's broken everything.

"Well, I'm glad she's happy," Martha says eventually. "There are worse fates, right?"

So many of your companions have had worse fates, she doesn't say, but the Doctor reads between the lines anyway.

"Yeah," she breathes.

"And how are you doing, Doctor? You're not alone, are you?"

"No! I'm great, actually. Got my fam. Yaz is really cool, you'd love her. Ryan and Graham are great. Jack's back in town right now, helped me out of prison-"

"Helped you out of where?"

"-and we're just sorting out this whole dalek thing! Should be all over pretty soon. Just, stay where you are."

"You know we can't do that, Doctor." If anything, Martha sounds amused. Determined. Ready to pick up her sword once again, defend the Earth from whatever might be coming.

In this second, everything is right with the world, and she misses Martha Jones in a way that hurts both her hearts at once.

"Well, stay safe at least. I'll call you back when this is done, to let you know."

"Thank you, Doctor. Maybe we could, I don't know- grab a drink, or something. Catch up."

"I'd like that," she replies, and they both know she has very little intent on following through.

Yaz appears at the end of the corridor, eyes bright, smile warm. She's chattering to someone, probably Ryan, completely oblivious, no weight on her shoulders.

The Doctor wishes she could keep Yaz like that, happy, delighted, laughing. Wishes that smile was just for her.

But she might have ruined it forever.

She's learnt to trust the TARDIS over the years, learnt that the TARDIS arrives when she thinks the Doctor should be rather than where the Doctor wants to be. She wants to trust that this, too, was for a good reason. The TARDIS has never led her wrong, in the end.

She has to believe.

"Well, I'll let you crazy kids go be heroes. Beat up some daleks for me, will you?"

"Of course, Doctor," Martha says. The Doctor imagines her smiling, linking fingers with Mickey. "Stay safe out there."

"Always," the Doctor grins. As Yaz and Ryan approach, she jumps up, throws the phone back on its hook and grabs hold of the TARDIS's controls.

"Who was that?" Yaz asks, wary, unsure of how to act around her. They need to sit down and talk, hash out the last ten months - and nineteen years - but now isn't the time.

Unfortunately, the time rarely seems to appear.

"Just an old friend checking in," the Doctor shrugs, avoiding her new companions' eyes. "There's daleks on the tv, haven't you heard? Let's fix that."

She throws the TARDIS into flight with a delighted whoop - after all these years, the thrill of flight never quite fades.

She's lost companions before, but as Martha’s call has reminded her, not all of them have met bad ends.

She refuses to let the fam down on that one, too.

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

Home | Final Chapter

Pairing: 13!Doctor x Daughter!Reader 

Summary: The final chapter!

Word Count: 3247

Warning: this is a whole lot of angst and drama because its the end with just a hint of extra cheesy fluff 

A/N: so this is basically the plot of The Timeless Child minus the whole Cyberman stuff that happened before they were on Gallifrey... hopefully it will make sense when you read it! As always spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Three | Masterlist

- - - - -

“So those things, the Cybermasters, they can’t die?” Ryan is trying to get his head around regeneration as the four of you hide out in an empty room and you try to explain what’s happened.

“Technically yes, they can die. But they come back to life almost immediately. The Master made them from the bodies of dead Time Lords, so they can regenerate like The Doctor and I can”

“This is mad!” Graham says, shaking his head in disbelief.

“And now the Master’s got The Doctor trapped?” Yaz asks and you nod “so how do we save her?” 

“I don't know” you answer honestly “she’s normally the one who knows what to do in these situations, she comes up the plans, she saves us”

“And you're her brilliant daughter. If anyone can come up with a Doctor saving plan it’s you” Graham says, squeezing your hand. 

You give him a small unsure smile and think for a moment. 

“Okay” you take a deep breath “we need to get into that room. The Master has the Doctor trapped in some sort of paralysing cage thing, if we can somehow get the control from him and free her then she’ll know what to do next. But how do we get into a room full of Cyber…” you trail off as an idea comes to you “The Cybermasters! We have to dress up as Cybermasters!”

“How?” Ryan asks

“We need to go back to the upgrading room” 

“But there’s loads of Cybermasters around there” Yaz says

“Then we use the guns if we have to. Once they die we have about 30 seconds before they come back. We grab as much armour as we can and we disguise ourselves, but we have to be quick. 30 seconds, that’s all we’ve got”

“Okay” Yaz says, nodding as she psyches herself up.

“Lets do it” Ryan agrees 

You're about to leave the room and start your journey back to the upgrade room when suddenly you can hear the Doctor in your head.

“Y/N?” 

“What- how are you…?”

The fam stop and look at you confused as you're talking to yourself.

“Telepathic link, Time Lord Trick. Please tell me you're back at the TARDIS?” She says, she sounds more panicked than you’ve ever heard her sound.

“No, I’m hiding. I’m with Graham, Ryan and Yaz”

“What?! I told them to stay- you all need to get out of here now! The Master knows you escaped, he’s looking for you. Get back to the TARDIS, she’ll take you somewhere safe”

“NO! I’m not leaving you- Listen we’ve got a plan, we’re going to help you”

“Absolutely not! You're not doing that”

“I’m not asking for your permission. I’m not a child!” You snap.

“But you are MY child! I lost you once already Y/N, I can’t do it again” her voice cracks as she speaks and you feel your heart sink. She really does care about you, even if she is too awkward to admit it. You take slow, silent breaths as you consider what to do next. 

“Y/N?” She questions.

“I’ll see you soon” you say before pushing her out of your mind, closing the link. You look up at the fam who are staring at you. “Telepathic link. The Master’s looking for me”

“What do we do?” Yaz asks you.

“We carry on with the plan. He’s left The Doctor alone, if we’re quick we can get to her before he does”

— — — — 

After successfully getting your hands on some Cyber-suit armour and disguising yourselves you begin leading the fam back to where The Doctor is. You turn a corner and your heart almost stops when you see The Master walking towards you. You do your best to stay calm as you continue to march down the corridor, hoping that he’ll ignore you. Which he does until you get close.

“You lot!” He shouts, his voice think with anger “go and watch The Doctor. Don't let her out of your sight and if you see the girl, kill her! I’m bored of this.”

With that he storms off, presumably still looking for you. You take a moment to gather yourself before returning to marching. 

“You alright?” Yaz whispers and you hum in response.

Finally you reach the entrance to the room where this mess all began. You warily push the door open expecting to see the room full of Cybermasters, but instead the room was empty. Apart from one lifeless body laying on the floor. 

“No…” you whisper to yourself as you race down the stairs as fast as you can in the restrictive metal body, removing your helmet and throwing it to the side “Doctor?!” 

You fall on your knees at her side and turn her face, pushing hair away from her eyes. The fam stand behind you, removing their helmets as they watch through worried eyes. “Please, please wake up! Please… I can’t lose you… Mum…”

When she doesn’t respond you lean forward and hug her, resting your head on her chest. A quiet sob escapes Yaz’s lips and Ryan puts his arm around her. Graham kneels down beside you, gently placing a hand on your back.

The four of you remain silent for a moment until you hear:

“My fam” the Doctor’s quiet voice makes you sit up and gasp with relief “my Y/N… what are you wearing? Oh” you help her sit up and she looks around the room still slightly dazed “all those memories…the matrix… the memories blew the matrix! Oh she’s clever. I’m clever!” A massive grin appears on her face and she looks at you “We’re all clever. All of us. However many that is”

“What are you talking about? What matrix?” You ask, a confused smile appearing on her lips as you look at her 

“You called me mum” she ignores your questions 

“Did I? Sorry-”

“No, I liked it” she smiles at you for a moment before standing up and helping you get up “right then, off we go! No, theres something I’m missing.” She thinks “The Master is creating a new race of Cybermen using Time Lord bodies”

“We know, we saw them” Yaz says

“We shot some of them but they just came back” Ryan adds and The Doctor gives him a look. 

“An endlessly regenerating army. I have to stop him. Fast. You shouldn’t be here. No humans on Gallifrey”

“This is Gallifrey? Your home Gallifrey?” Graham sounds shocked

“I need to get you off this planet” The Doctor starts running up the stairs and you all follow. She runs down the corridor and uses her sonic to open up a door “Everyone, through here!”

You all rush inside and find yourselves in a room that feels familiar. 

“It’s a TARDIS!” Ryan says, as the Doctor presses buttons on the central control. “It is a TARDIS right?” 

“Looks like it” Graham agrees 

“This can take us all home!” Yaz says happily. 

“Not all” you say, watching The Doctor somehow knowing exactly what she’s planning. The fam look at you confused but you continue to look at her and she stares back. “You're staying aren’t you”

“I have to. What he’s created is the most dangerous threat this universe has ever seen. Immortal Cybermen. I can’t let a single one leave this planet, or its game over for everyone.”

“Then let us help you” Yaz pleads

“No. I started this, I have to end it. Alone. The TARDIS will take you back to the 21st century”

“You’re not serious!” Graham exclaims 

“Deadly”

“What about you? How will you get back?” Ryan asks

“In my TARDIS” she says, but you don't believe her.

“Why are you lying to us?” You say and she looks at you “You don't think you're going to get out of this alive thats why you're sending us away!” 

“Doctor?” Yaz presses. The Doctor continues looking at you before letting out a sigh. 

“There’s a weapon here on Gallifrey that when activated will wipe out all life forms on the planet” 

“You sure you want to do that?” Ryan asks

“I’m sure I don't want to do that, but there’s no alternative.”

“But you’ll die too”

“That’s the way it has to be. And I would do that in a heartbeat for this universe. For you…” she looks individually at each of the humans stood in front of her before her eyes finally land on you “…my fam”

She turns and walks towards the door, but Yaz runs after her.

“We’re not letting you go! You're not doing this!” She cries as she grabs her arm but the Doctor shakes her off.

“Get off me Yaz!” She pauses and takes a breath, tears in her eyes “please… live great lives”

She turns again and goes to leave but stops just before the door. 

“Y/N” she says without turning around and you go to stand beside her “it’s up to you now. Look after them” 

You nod and look down as the tears in your eyes threaten to fall. 

“This isn’t fair, I’ve only just found you” your voice comes out as a whisper. 

“I know. I’m sorry” she pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear “I’m so proud of who you’ve become”

She lets you go and walks away. The room is silent as you watch her leave, the door closing behind her. 

You all stand completely still for a moment until the silence is broken by the sound of the TARDIS engines beginning to fire up. In that moment you make a split second decision and before you realise what you're doing you race out through the door.

“Y/N!” Graham yells. 

You turn back to look at the fam. 

“I’m sorry” you say before slamming the door and holding it shut until it, and the sound of the fam on the other side, fades away. 

You lean your head against the wall where the door once was and stay there for a few moments as the reality of what you’ve just done sinks in. The Doctor is going to be so mad at you. 

“You really shouldn’t have done that” 

You spin around to see The Master glaring at you. 

“I am going to enjoy killing you” 

— — — — 

The Master drags you outside to where his fleet of Cybermasters are stood waiting next to a huge ship. You try and shake yourself free from his arms but his grip tightens.

“Oh no, I am not letting you go this time” he growls before pulling out a device from his pocket and holding it up to his lips. He presses a button and as he speaks you hear his voice echo through the whole planet. 

“Doooooctooooooorrrrr…” he sings “oh Doctorrrrrr. Come out come out wherever you are. I have something that belongs to you. Or should I say someone” 

He holds the device to your mouth “Don't be shy, say hello to dear old mummy”

“Don't listen to him, stay where you are!” You shout through the mic and he pulls it away from you, letting out a frustrated huff.

“Oh she is like you isn’t she Doctor, annoyingly heroic.” He laughs “well if you want to see your little offspring again, I suggest you get here soon. I’m getting rather fed up of her”

He turns off the device and puts it back in his pocket.

“Why do you doing this? What happened to you to make you so full of hate?”

“I found out the truth. About who she is and subsequently who I am and I cannot BEAR it!” The eye contact he’s holding with you is almost unbearable, you can see the rage, hate and also hurt in him. You're relieved when he finally looks away and gestures to the Cybermasters around you. “They lied about all of it. All our lives, they pretended we were special, but we’re not. We’re just, experiments created by them from her! But oh how the tables have turned. Now they are MY experiments, created by ME! And together, we’re going to take over the universe”

“Not if I stop you” The Doctor says as she appears from inside the spaceship and walks down the ramp towards you. She looks at you and you can tell she’s angry that you are here instead of on the TARDIS. You give her your best ‘im sorry’ face.

“What makes you think you can stop me Doctor? You are nothing compared to me and my army!”

“Maybe not. Unless I had a weapon. A weapon I hoped I’d never have to use. A weapon that can wipe out all life on this planet. A weapon I just installed in your ship”

“If you detonate it you will die too. You and her” he shakes you and you wince slightly at the roughness.

“That’s why I am giving you one last chance. One final opportunity to do the right thing. Stop all of this now and deactivate your soldiers” she pleads with him and for a moment you think he’s actually considering it. But then he laughs and gets out a gun, holding it to your head.

“You don’t get to give me the ultimatum here Doctor. I am the one with the power, not you! I am the one who’s giving you a choice. Give me the detonator control, and I will let her live. Disobey me and I’ll shoot her now. And this is no ordinary gun. This gun makes death as slow and excruciatingly painful as possible. I made it myself, another one of my fun inventions.”

The Doctor looks at you and for the first time you can see real fear in her eyes. You shake your head slightly, trying to signal to her not to take the deal, but The Master grabs your face harshly, his fingers digging into your cheeks. 

“She’s scared Doctor, I can feel her shaking and hear her little hearts beating so fast. Do you really want to watch her die? Give me the control”

“Don’t-” you start to say but he squeezes your face even harder, making you hiss in pain. Tears fill your eyes. 

The Doctor takes the control out and holds it in view. She takes slow, careful steps towards you both until she’s close enough. 

“Put the gun away first” she says and he just laughs “put it away or I’ll activate the weapon now” 

“Don't you trust me Doctor?” 

“Not really no” she replies bluntly

“Fine” he huffs and slowly puts the gun away

“Let her go”

“I’m not stupid Doctor but I am getting bored of this. Give me the control before I kill both of you”

She holds the control out and slowly pushes it closer to him until his hand is on it. Then suddenly she grabs you and pulls you from his grasp as the device in his hand starts bleeping. He looks at it then up at her in disbelief. 

“You…” he says as he realises that she just set off the detonator. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the gun once again at the same time as The Doctor reaches into hers and pulls out a small bronze key. It glows and you hear the sound of the TARDIS. Then in a blur of action the Master points his gun at the Doctor and fires but you jump in front of the her, pushing her out the way. She grabs you as she falls, pulling you down with her. You see the green ray from the gun heading towards you and squeeze your eyes shut as you brace yourself for the impact-

-but it never comes. 

You open your eyes again to find you and the Doctor are lying in a heap on the floor inside the TARDIS. She sits up so your head is resting on her legs, and you look up at her confused. 

“When will you learn to not jump in front of me when someone fires a gun?” She says before smiling at you “are you okay?” 

You sit up and check yourself before nodding at her, still in shock that you're not currently dead.

“Good, because you are in so much trouble!” She stands up and goes to the control panel “Why- WHY can you not just do what I say?! I told you to let me handle that alone. Not to follow me. Not to get yourself caught.” She rants at you and you carefully stand up, hugging your arms across yourself “You could have died Y/N! For real this time! Do you understand how close you came to not being here anymore-”

Suddenly all the emotions hit you at once and you break down. Tears flood your face as you bring your hand up to your mouth to try stop the sobs that are escaping. Your whole body is shaking with post shock adrenaline and The Doctor immediately stops messing with buttons on the control and hugs you tightly into her chest. She doesn’t say anything, she just lets you get it all out. 

After a few minutes you finally calm down enough to talk. 

“I’m so sorry” you say quietly “I just couldn’t bear the thought of you facing him and all those Cybermasters alone. I had to do something… but all I did was make things worse. I let you down”

The Doctor sighs and pulls away to look at you.

“You didn’t make things worse Y/N. Just, slightly more complicated” she lets out a small laugh as she wipes leftover tears off your cheek “and you didn’t let me down either. What you did was incredibly stupid, but also brave. I meant what I said back on the other TARDIS, I am so proud of you.”

“Don’t make me cry again” you laugh as you turn your attention to the monitor and the view of Gallifrey “I still don't understand what happened… one minute The Master was shooting at us, the next we were here”

“I used the key to summon the TARDIS and it materialised around us just in time.” The Doctor explains

“So that was your plan all along? Why didn’t you just tell us?”

“Because I wasn’t 100% sure it would work. It takes a lot of power to summon the TARDIS like that, I can’t do it very often. Plus she’s not always reliable” 

The TARDIS makes a strange groaning noise and you let out a small laugh. You swear it responds to her. 

“But what about the Master?” You ask

“The weapon detonated so every living thing on Gallifrey is dead. I’ve done a scan of the planet, no life signs.” She looks at the screen, a brief wave of sadness washes over her. 

“I’m sorry…” you say, placing your hand on hers.

“They were already dead” she says as she turns to look at you before taking a deep breath and smiling “Right! Time to pick up the fam”

“Where did the other TARDIS take them?” You ask and she looks at you blankly.

“I don't actually know…”

“You don't know where they are!” You burst out laughing, shaking your head.

“They’re somewhere in the 21st century! We’ll find them…”

She takes your hand and places it on the lever.

“…together” 

You both pull down and the TARDIS engines fire up once again, taking you on another adventure. 

The Doctor and her daughter.

[flyinginthetardis]

Mismatched Time

a/n: yay!! after an eternity i have finally finished writing something :)) its my first time writing for twelve so i do hope that its okay. (a long time ago) i was inspired by the song “Sideways” from Citizen Cope and well i came up with this thing. Originally i had decided to make it really angsty but i apparently i went in a different direction and made it more fluffy-ish. i hope that you like it! 

Pairing: twelfth doctor x reader (i would say its more platonic but you can think otherwise if you want to)

Warnings: maybe some swear words

summary: you go to earth to make amends with your parents and ask the doctor to come with you. He says he'll be there in 10 minutes but it turns out to be 10 years until you meet each other again.

“Ah. Home sweet home. I can't wait for dinner." You say as you put on your jacket and straighten any wrinkles from your clothes.

"Fancy dinner date huh?" 

"What? Oh, no." You say incredulously while snickering. 

"What's got you all dressed up like that then? Why are you wearing all these fancy clothes and weird stuff? I've never seen you dress fancy in your life. At one point I simply assumed it was impossible for you."

Your mouth opens in shock and closes once you can't think of anything to say. A frown crosses your face as you pace around the TARDIS console anxiously. "That's not true! I've dressed fancy many times. At like events and stuff." 

"Oh really? Name one other time that you've dressed fancy. Come on. Prove me wrong." 

You stutter and stumble after words trying to get the question to register in your brain and find any example. Anything at all. 

"Uh...well..well-wh-what about that time we had to go to that fancy auction party event thing. I was wearing a dress and you were wearing a suit."

"Ha! That doesn't count! It was just a holographic image projected from a device on your t-shirt. I had one too but because I'm a Time Lord, I saw through the projections and saw you simply wearing a t-shirt and jeans." 

"Ugh. Fine. I am wearing this 'fancy' outfit because I want to look good for my parents, who I am having dinner with tonight and have not seen them in a couple of years. When I came with you, we didn't exactly leave on the best terms and haven't really spoken since." 

"Oh. Well, um, do you want me to come with you? Or..?"

Looking down at your feet, you let out a sigh while placing your head in your hands. 

"Yeah it would be nice if you could come." 

"Alright." The Doctor gave you a soft, reassuring smile as he moved around the TARDIS, pushing buttons and pulling levers on the console before arriving right outside your parents house. 

"We're here."

"Guessed that much." Before either of you could say another word you run over to the Doctor and engulf him in a big hug. Burying your head in his shoulder for comfort and reassurance, you relax a little as he awkwardly tries to hug you back.

"I know you don't really like hugs but I really need this right now." Your voice is muffled against his clothing as you close your eyes, let out a large breath and remove yourself from him. 

"Yeah, I know."

You smile at him as you pick up your purse from somewhere under the console sofa and walk over to the door, opening it halfway but not yet stepping out. 

"So are you coming?" you ask playfully as your usual demeanor comes back. 

"Yes, yes, but go without me, I'll come in ten minutes." 

"Okay then, I'll see you soon." You shout from outside the TARDIS as you walk towards the spunky, modern house and close the blue doors behind you.  

You stare at the oak coloured door in front of you, thousands of thoughts running through your mind. Deep, cold breaths left your lips as you dragged your fist towards the door; but before you managed to knock the door flies open. Warm air tickles your skin as you stare at your parents standing in front of you.

"Y/N!" 

"Hi."

"Come in, come in. Dinner is almost ready." Your dad says warmly as he ushers you in and closes the door behind you. 

As you take a seat at the table across your father, your mother emerges with a glorious array of food. You squirm in your seat as an awkward silence prevails. 

"So, Y/N, where is that friend of yours that you said would come?" Your mother asks inquisitively with her cold eyes flashing and her question laced with poison as if she enjoyed seeing you intimidated. 

"Oh, yeah, he uh, he said he would come in ten minutes."

"Oh, okay. I guess we should wait for him then." 

Silence. You wait for ten minutes. Then twenty. Then thirty. 

An hour passes.

Where is he?

"Well, I guess we should start because it seems like he stood you up." Your mother says sighing as her tone tells you that she is just utterly disappointed and a wave of criticism is about to come and crash onto you.

That asshat. Where the hell are you! You thought, clearly irritated. It wasn't as if he hasn't done this before and if it had been any other day, you honestly wouldn't mind as much, but this was an important day for you. He knew that. Didn't he?

You sigh and give in. "Yeah, maybe."

Your father passes you some chicken, potatoes and peas before adding some to his own plate. "Thank you." 

"Not a problem sweetheart."

You cringe slightly at the old nickname as you pour some gravy over your food before going silent.

"Should we eat?" Your mother asks, finally sitting down with a plate of her own food.

"Sure." You and your father say in unison, grinning slightly at each other. The three of you dig in and as you eat you get lost in your thoughts and wonder about what happened to the Doctor.

***

You sighed as you watched the raindrops race down your window as you huddled up in blankets and drank hot chocolate to warm yourself up. It had been ten years since you last saw the Doctor. Ten years.

Not minutes. Not hours. Not even months!

Years. Years. 

He left you for ten years. You despised him for it. And yet you still missed him. You tried to find him but it was just impossible. You sigh and take a sip of hot chocolate. You smile as the marshmallows melt in your mouth. 

You pick up an old notebook beside and give it a sideways glance. It contained everything about the Doctor. It was your way of finding him, basically. But it had led to a dead end and so you gave up. Flipping through the old book you reminisce lightly about how hopeful you were those first few years. Snorting at the memory and throwing the book aside, you watch the raindrops patter against the window silently.

Going back to normal life had been hard. Harder than you expected. 

Suddenly, you started. That noise. 

Could it be?

You run and grab your keys from the glass bowl on the kitchen counter, hurriedly put on your shoes and run like hell down the stairs, not at all waiting for the elevator. 

You stand outside and gasp. The TARDIS. You walk over to it carefully and slowly as if it was a frightened animal even though it was nothing of the sort. Your fingers graze the blue police box and you smile. You barely feel the drops of water on your skin as you examine the TARDIS incredulously. 

"Hello, Sexy." You whisper to the TARDIS as you lean your head against the blue box. "I've missed you."

Suddenly the door opens and you step back. 

"Doctor?"

"Oh hey Y/N! Is the dinner ready?"

"Dinner? What dinner?"

"The dinner with your parents of course."

You scoff at him and take another step back. "Oh that dinner? Oh I'm sorry to tell you but that dinner was TEN YEARS AGO!"

The Doctor blinks and his face gets serious. "What? No, it can't be."

"Check your calendar." You say voice dripping with malice and sarcasm.

The Doctor goes back into the TARDIS and you hear him mutter something angrily. He steps out of the TARDIS again and faces you.

"I am so sorry Y/N."

You scowl at him for a brief moment before giving him a huge hug. 

"Don't you dare do something like that again or I will punch you so hard that I'll make you regenerate." You say into his shoulder before you calm down and slowly relax into his arms. You bury your head in his shoulder and the both of you just stay in that position for a while. Finally you release him from your hug and give him a smile. "I missed you so much." 

The Doctor smiles and you take his hand, dragging the both of you out of the rain. 

"Let's go to my apartment, it's much more cozy than standing dripping wet in the rain." 

The two of you walk up the apartment building stairs and stop at a door with the number 321 on it. Your apartment. Walking in, you throw your keys back into the glass bowl on the kitchen counter and sigh happily before collapsing comfortably on the couch. "Come here." You say while patting the seat next to you. The Doctor slides onto the cushy seat next to rather awkwardly but you don't mind. 

You lean your head on his shoulder and he slowly wraps an arm around your waist as you turn the TV on. "So what horrendous movie are we watching today?" He asks while looking at you pointedly. 

"Hamilton."

"Hm."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"Nothing." He replies with a similar tone to yours and you eye him cautiously before letting out a small 'hmph' of annoyance. You narrow your eyes ever so slightly but make no response as you get ready to press play. However, before you can do so, he breaks the silence.

"What is that?"

"What?"

"That." He points at your head leaning on his shoulder and he has the hint of a frown on his face.

You groan and roll your eyes.

"Give me a break," you sigh and look up at him, not moving from his shoulder, "I mean you did leave me for like, oh yeah, ten years."

He sighs and stiffens at your response. "Fine." He mutters out sounding sheepish. 

You let out another exasperated sigh and begin to move away, putting space between the both of you. But before you're able to get too far, he grabs your hand and shoulder pulling you back to him. 

"Stay." He says as he kisses the top of your head gently, and props his head on top of yours, making you lean into him. You smile, and press play on the remote, finally being able to relax completely after such a long time. Content, you sigh softly and stare at the TV screen. All is well and everything is as it should be. For now, anyways.

a/n: hey so i didnt realize i posted this accidently lol but i was missing a whole lot of editing and was missing a chunk of writing at the end so sorry about that. i was wondering what had happened to my draft but now i know haha.

[voidgremlin]

The promise (Chapter 2)

At some point, after many adventures, a prison break and many near deaths scenario. The Doctor though of stopping, for one moment, to rest. Maybe gather herself, maybe seek calm from everything.

@isuthetimelady

The room was quiet for a few hours, in low dim light of the library. They were no page being turned, no shuffling of the clothes, no movement, no voice. Just the hum of the TARDIS that carried the doctor through dreams with a lullaby.

The Doctor was dreaming of the winds in her ears, the quietness and the cliff ahead. She could see the purple sky extending ahead shining a billions stars, a billions place to be. But none of it were home. The light from where she came from was too far away to be even seen, if it is still exist somewhere in the world. The light from where she was raised was dimmed, no viable structure was living on its soil. Not that she wanted to go back to it, but this planet held her house at some point, her home, her family. Would she really hate this place that tore so many things she held dear apart ? Won’t it be a disgrace to the work she and the people she loved put to make it happen ? Even for a few seconds of happiness ? She should love this place, she should protect it. But there’s no one left to protect from. There’s no one love anymore, there’s no one to share memory, joy and laughter with … Not anymore.

It is gone and she looks at the stars with nostalgy.  How can someone with so many lives can make something new with someone new or even… Someone old ? How could she ? She listened to the hum hoping for someone to give her an answer but the hum make itself louder, pressing, howling, she looked around in horror looking for who was screaming, she ran toward the sound, reaching the edge of the cliff. Before weirdly she remembered that she was dreaming. None of it was real and she suddenly woke up.

She shot her head straight gasping silently for air, feeling the pressure on her shoulder quickly relieved itself. The Master got up quickly, fighting to get his hand free, she let him go and he started pacing in the room with labored breathing. She blinked slowly gathering thoughts, being awake was one thing, knowing what to do was another. She was still on unknown territory with a well-known enemy. The well-known part was the only reassuring part of the whole situation. Founders help her… Hold on was she a founder now ? She frown but shot a glance to the Master who at some point sat his body in a corner of the room next to a shelf. Holding his head in his hands, taking deep breathes through the nose. She wants to ask, why was he still shaking ? Why did he woke up again in a sharp inhale when obviously he needed more rest. Why is he panicking and the whole room seemed to swell. Furthering the distance between them. It won’t be long before the Master would be standing meters away instead of the closeness they shared few seconds ago.

He looks up to her, realizing she is still present in the space. In between two breaths it looked like he tried to pronounce a few words, explanation, but only she heard a sob in his throat. Heartbreaking really. He looked away, standing up with a sort of recklessness to it, as if he was throwing his body up, hoping it would still stand. He didn’t cared today, he didn’t cared of much things. He didn’t even cared of the hate and distraught he felt toward her, allowing her inside. He didn’t cared of his inadequacy in the grand schemes of things. Today he didn’t wanted to think about it. To care about it. Because caring would mean thinking about consequences, thinking about the crushing universe with no solace. To think that no matter how much illusion he would deal himself with there is still a truth that he knows and that no one, not even himself would let it go.

He left in throwing himself bodily against the door. Walking down the corridor and the Doctor waited a few seconds, biting her cheeks wondering if she should gather herself and just leave him to be. Alone, in this infinite castle. Never ending and intricate. Leaving to her own TARDIS, where she could put the whole pondering for later, maybe she will find a place in the universe that doesn’t require any responsibility from her, any fighting. But of course, she only stand up to follow him. She is still sleepy and watching only his back stumbling to the kitchen that hidden itself behind a weirdly terrifying stone statue, that looked way too much of a weeping angel. Upon closer inspection she felt the warm below the stone, it was alive and humming. She noted this observation to the slightly worrying list of things that is happening to her and that she needed to do something about it at some point. But not now, now the Master was angrily drinking water, if anyone was able to angrily drink it would be him. He hold himself to counter next to him, a dark glance to her.

“The fuck are you doing here ?”

She is taken aback, she didn’t expected so much aggressivity after the hours spent together in quiet and peace. Guess he just held bad ? Not being apathic as she was drowned in all her sorrow. He was none of those things, feeling way too much and he only honed back those things for her sake. As much as he loved confrontation, he let her have a few hours of quiet. She should be a little thankful.

If she ever gave a shit about his peculiar predicament.

She stayed silent, dragging a chair to sit on it, playing with the mug on the coffee table. She didn’t had any answer for that question, after all she is still considering leaving. But the steady hum of the TARDIS made her consider another option. To listen ? Maybe.

He looks at her like she betrayed the sanctimony of the space, his breathing is even now, the panic from earlier faded somewhat. He look away toward the fridge defeated by the lack of answer.

“Want something to eat ?” He asks his voice hoarse.

She say no with her head, still staring at him. She shouldn’t it will make him angry, but she cared very little about his anger, she cared about his sanity more.

“What !?” he snapped “What are you looking at ?” The rest was indeed nonexistent, dark bags under his eyes were darker than when she saw him earlier. He couldn’t look still, his hands were moving and not stopping. The Doctor motioned to the chair before her. He threw himself into it, upset and crossing his arms. Taunting her to talk first.

She bids her time helped by the humming which filled the silence. She decided to be little shit to break the nervous energy that filled the room.

“What the fuck are you doing here ? You look like a mess !” She said with a smirk.

He look aback, arching an eyebrow. “I do not look like a mess ! I look awesome thank you very much !”

“Oh really have you seen yourself ? What did you do the last time I saw you ?”

He looked like he was about to retort to the first part but only put a hand in his hard, to fix it. As if it would help at this point she thought. He laid back looking to the ceiling.

“I ran away, got caught on a nasty planet, had to buy my way out with the cyberium and some of my memories. Fought to get the memories back. Succeeded. Now I’m trying to get some rest.”

“Sounds like you had a busy day.”

“Busy month.”

“Oh.” She frowned, she did lived much more things than him but a month ? At first she wasn’t sure what made her stop about it, after all he was able to survive stranded more than one time for far longer than the Doctor could. She guessed it was the memory part that disturbed her. Fighting to get memory back… She doesn’t know if she would have ?

Maybe ? Is the repeated abuse of having her memory ripped away that made her gave up the mere idea of the memories being hers, that she shouldn’t fight for them because it is a defeat waiting to happen ? Who knows.

Terrible thoughts for later, filed under: the irreparable damage of the past.

“Looks like you are not succeeding on the rest part ?” She instead argued.

He still stubbornly looked to the ceiling. “No. But I will. It just takes time.”

“That’s why you chose the outback ?”

“No one was bothering me there, which makes me ask the question.” He leans toward her, elbows on the coffee table. “What the fuck are you doing here ?”

She stayed silent, she didn’t wanted to talk about the foolish hope that brought her here. So hung up on the past and her disillusion. She tapped the table four times.

“TARDIS brought me there ?”

“Was it a question ?” He asks with a smile.

“Nooooo” She dragged the sounds. It was obvious she was lying and he knew. But it was fun. It was for laughs. It really didn’t mattered why she was here according to his smile, what was important was she was here.

“Good because your shoulder is a really good pillow, I will recommend it on Yelp.” He says pulling out a phone from his pants, searching the apps.

“On what ? Wh-What’s Yelp ?” She asks reaching to snatch his phone away, he didn’t even bothered to looking up to her and just pushed his chair out of the way.

“Damn Doctor, I do hate the fact I know more about 21st century earth than you.” He sighs typing down furiously. The Doctor stand up quickly grabbing the phone from his hands despite his weak shout of protest.

“Let me read that. ‘The doctor’ shoulder despite being bony and most of the time uncovered, is still a good place to rest when you have exhausted all possibilities. 6/10 would recommend but only if you have no other solutions.’” She pauses before turning her head to him. “Only 6 ?! How DARE !”

“I have to take into account the reality that I really am tired and that if I could I would have slept on a rock. I find myself very kind with this notation. They should call me the mercyter, merster ? Merciful Master ?” He started to sounds confused to his own sentence.

“Or they should call you your Yelp handle, O. Lee Karl… I’m not sure I get the joke ?”

“Of course you don’t.” He says standing up as well taking the phone away from her hands gently. “But I will be honest I was very proud at the time of the joke but I am not sure I get it either.”

She hummed in response. Standing next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

“Your brains are definitely fried.”

He leans a little on her. “Yes they are. Can’t help getting nightmares since I got my full mind back.”

She listens but she isn’t sure, she isn’t sure if she would have took those memories back. So she asks

“Was it worth it ? Getting back your memories ?”

“Uh… Well I wouldn’t be me if I don’t have them. So yes, as terrible and awful me is. It is worth having my memories.”

“Aren’t they painful ?” She asks stubbornly watching the wall ahead.

“Yes.”

“What do you mean then ? Was it really worth it ?”

“It is still mine. I am owed.” He sighs, head looking down. “If anything else is not. I still I got that.” He chuckles, an empty one, before whispering “I got this one, it’s mine.”

The Doctor waited before putting a hand on his shoulder. “Yes it’s yours.”

They stayed here a little while, leaning on each other. She didn’t understood most of his feeling on the matter, it was like looking in the mirror and not quite understanding the figure it reflected.

The Master would say it was his, The Doctor would answer it never was hers.

The Master would burn all the bridges, The Doctor would try to mend them with time.

They would never be in sync, never agreeing to anything because ultimately and weirdly despite all the shared history, they had a wildly different past.

Endless roaming for one, Broken promises for the other.

It made her laugh which made the Master look at her with worry. They were determined by their past way before they could make their own decisions. Before they could be themselves they were already condemned to this unstable life and endless heartbreak.

“I think I need to sleep Doctor. So…” He slowly let himself lie down on the kitchen floor. “I got to try again.” He smiles looking at her from below, finding it fitting from their newfound status. She sees that in his eyes and is having none of it. She drop down on her knees next to his head, her hands on her laps, looking at him with, she find out later, a hint of tenderness.

“Want me to guard your sleep ?”

His eyes squint, “I doubt you want to guard me, it is a pain in the ass, so I heard.”

“From me. Yet here I am proposing.”

He keeps squinting wondering if it was a joke.

“So you chill with me guarding you or not ?” The Doctor asks.

He grunts. “Yeah. Do your magic.”

She took his head, putting it on her now crossed legs. Fingers resting on his temple. Channeling a link. His face relaxed.

Contact.

Contact.