#and the coworkers are being especially bitter today like just calm down

[superflyingthing]

The one requirement I had from my job was not to be a pain in the ass. I work my 8, I go home, no hassle. That’s it. But lately everyone’s been doing too much and it’s getting aggravating.

[jadienjaystoriesandart]

Repaid Kindness

Warning: Mind Control, Stockholm Syndrome, Darkish themes, Mild Swearing, and very slight Body Horror.

POV: Second (You/Your)

Note: this idea has got me on a hyper fixation again, which is great because I’ve been on low inspiration for 3 months now (Curse you ADHD). Plus I’m posting my own Submas AU idea later, just still drawing the character designs for Emmet and Ingo. Tagging @peachsodamaa again as this is her idea (If ever in the future you want me to not tag you in these stories just let me know :D also if anyone wants to be tagged if I make more, also leave me a comment or reblog) **Please Read Notes At The Very End** (It’ll be bold)

Summary: You give an act of kindness and you supposedly receive it back in good karma. Though, this guys ‘repayment’ isn’t refundable, and you’re his newest edition.

------

You looked at your phone, having about 45 minuets before your train gets here to take you to your university. Today was supposedly a field trip day, going out to help people in need and pokemon also. Training to be a Nurse was not easy, especially for one learning to care for both Pokemon and People. Yet despite it, you loved to help people. taking the hard work in strides and stress slowly being dealt with.

This was your last year, and then you’ll be certified fully, already looking for jobs to apply to once you get it. A whole life planned ahead, you were looking forward to it. You parents would have been proud of you, a bitter sweet smile at that thought. You didn’t have many friends to celebrate with, between Work Study to make ends meet and tests, you never had time to head out often.

Hopefully, that’ll change with time, maybe a month to yourself after getting your credentials would be nice? You flick through the pictures of pokemon, today your professor said you’d chose a partner to work with you. Chansy, Blessy, Wigglytuff, Slyveon, Clefable, a few others too. You were to choose based upon what type of Nurse you’d be that day. You were lost in thought for a while just scrolling through your phone when you paused hearing something.

Looking up and around you noted the source of the noise. A woman was yelling at one of the Depot Agents. She looked very angry at something, though through the chatter of people around you, you could make out something about a refund. You also noted some people were filming this Entitled Woman’s outrage. Why do people like to me a septically of themselves? Acting more like toddlers than grown ass adults.

Top it off why was it always the one with the nasal tones and fake ass looking faces. Sheesh, most of the agents here has comedically large smiles or frowns, and still this woman’s makeup caked face looked faker. ‘Karen’s’ were always amusing to watch, thinking if they tantrum enough they’d get what they want. 

You watched the woman she was talking to still keep her friendly smile on, now that was a ‘I’m dead inside’ look only one working with the public could do. Trying to calm her down, and explain things. The other with the frown just passively watched with lost in thought eyes. Dissociating possibly, You’ve done that before when you worked in retail. Easier way to drown out the screeches of a bitch.

However you blinked in shock when suddenly the Karen slapped the worker. Some didn’t notice, but others did gapping in shock at that. The Karen looked very pleased with herself, as the female agent looked shocked as did her coworker. Her hand touched her face, and even from this area you could see tears. 

You didn’t hear what the worker said, only that her smile returned full force, and the woman went to smack her again. 

Her hand was caught though, and Karen look red and anger, “Just who do you think you are!?” she asked turning to you, as you held her wrist easily between your thumb, middle, and pointer finger. Despite her yanking, she couldn’t get free of your grip, something you picked up in self defense class. Gym credit was mandatory in college. 

“Hitting people doesn’t even get you what you want.” You said in a deadpanned tone, before pushing her wrist down and pushed back. The Karen stumbled a bit, and looked beyond livid. “I’d suggest an apology, but I think you’d choke on your own tongue if your tried.” you looked at her with a neutral expression.

Her eyes were cold, “How dare you assault me! I’ll have you sued and put in jail.” she screeched like a Whismur. What a noising adult toddler this was.

Amusement danced in your eyes as you shrugged, “I’m sure you could ma’am. But remember cameras are just about everywhere,” you tapped your chin in mock though with a passive expression, “Come to think of it I think I saw at least 4 people filming your little tantrum too.”

This was enough to make the red turn a bit pale as you saw her eyes dart around to see the people filming. You look at her, putting a hand in our side pocket and tilting your head. “Suppose you’ll end up front page on Pok Tok.” you commented, the look of fear and some anger on her face was priceless.

The Karen looked at you then to the Depot Agents behind you, and scowled. “I will be calling the higher ups about this!” she said, no doubt trying to get the last say in. Before she stormed off, her gaudy high heels clicking as she did. 

You tsk lightly when she’s gone and sigh rubbing your left temple, “You’d think people weren’t raised on the rule of ‘Tantrums get you no where’.” you commented out loud, then turned back to the girl with a kinder smile. “Are you alright?” you asked in your softer tone, something you’ve found you picked up at school when working with people.

she stared at you, smile still there, “yes I think so.” she told you, as you motioned for her to move her head. She slowly did so as you looked at the red mark with some blood from the woman’s nails. 

You wrinkle your nose a bit, “Well that’s not good, grosser yet, people have bacteria under their nails.” you huff a bit then looked at her, “If you’ll allow me, I come with fire aid all the time.” you offered.

The agent looked at her partner before agreeing softly, you got your side bag out and a small case. “It’ll sting a bit, but have to clean it so it doesn't get infected.” you explained in a gentle tone, before going to work. Using a saline wipe to get the blood off, then another to clean it. After that, you take out a small tube that read ‘Blissy Egg Salve’ and carefully put it over the three small marks. 

Once done, you dispose of the blood wipes, and put a few small bandages over it. “There.” you said with a bright smile, “Good news is the human face doesn't scar as easy as games like you to think.” you press the small tube in her hands, “Put this on every 4 hours, and it should heal up by tomorrow.”

You close your case and put away your things, “As for the bruising that might happen, that’ll heal up on it’s own in a few days.” you promise as she smiles at you back. “Don’t worry about the salve, my professor hands them out like candy.” you look sheepish with a small chuckle. 

“Thank you.” She said quietly to you, possibly because she was still reeling over the whole thing.

“Professor?’ the male worker asks with a head tilt to you.

You nod to that, “I’m a Nurse Student, hence why I even carry this kit, kind of force of habit by now.” you shrug to him, before the chime was heard over head.

“all boarding for Castelia City please head to Platform 2.” 

You hum lightly, “That’s mine.” you give them one more soft smile, “It was nice to meet you both, if your boss needs me to give a statement I’ll be happy too.” you said giving your name to them and college you go to. Before turning with a wave, “See ya.”

You didn’t notice how the two watched you very closely before you vanished into the crowd. 

-------

The next day was the second part of the felid trip, you were actually at Gear Station this time, helping with pokemon during the Battle Carts. People were excited at the idea of possibly meeting Ingo or Emmet, the ones who ran the place and who were some very strong trainers. 

Today you’d be working without a partner, as one of them was hurt by someone’s pokemon. But it’s alright, you just hope Blissy would be okay. You were standing by now with others, making small talk as their professor went around telling people the carts and trains they’d be stationed in. 

Some would be getting early carts, which were the Honors students, other getting simpler ones as they were starting out. Some were groaning at what they got, others very excited. Until your teacher came up to you.

“You’ll be stationed in the Multi Carts on number 50.” he told you, you blinked in disbelief, cart 50 was the ones Ingo and Emmet supposedly worked in. “Apparently they asked for you by name.” he shrugged, possibly not questioning it. “Do well and consider this your passing project grade.” You could only gap a bit, “Uh... yes sir.” you stuttered out, okay this was... a bit jarring. But, you could do it. Not many got that far up, so it should be simple, but you’d be also working with stronger pokemon. No pressure or anything, and you could feel your classmates envy, just great.

Taking a breath, you steel your nerves, you can do this. Getting your nursing bag and hat on before nodding to yourself. Everything would be okay. Before you headed to your stationed cart to get set up. See there were carts that had nurses in them, slightly smaller, and then ones with the battle area. So that you were out of the line of fire. 

Entering in the area you set down your bag, finding yourself alone for now. You start to get things out and let your mind wander. you’ve never actually met Ingo or Emmet before. Only just seen News articles on them, and heard about people who faced them and got their asses handed. It’s not like you really cared, you never were one for pokemon battles, Trainers were in a league all their own as far as you’re concerned.  Though aware of their status, they were people like anyone else. Guess that’s why the professor had no problems with you being here. You’re not a gushing fan, just a person doing their job. You at least hoped they were snobbish or uptight. 

By the time you finished the cart door opened and you looked over to see thw brothers walking in. A smile and a frown on their faces, it’s no wonder they were called the Muppet Men. You gave a polite smile, “Hello sirs,” you said in a formal tone to them. Ingo, who you knew the be the one in black, tipped his hat to you, “No need for that, just Ingo is fine. Glad you were actually here for this.” he told you dull eyes looking at you.

You just nod, “This counts for a big part of my grade, missing it means failing, which I’m not too inclined for.” You joke lightly earning a chuckle from Emmet. You were curious as to why they asked for you, but you decided not to ask, might come off as rude. However it seems you didn’t need to ask as Emmet smile grew, “I am Emmet. Heard about what you did for one of our agents yesterday.” he commented as who looked flustered at that, wondering if he was upset. Instead he ruffled your hair, “I wanted to thank you, they work for me personally, hadn’t appreciated what that woman did to her. I am verrry happy” his eyes grew dark though when he talked about the Karen, even if the small stayed.

You gelt your cheeks grow warm, “Oh it’s no trouble, I mean what kind of nurse would I be if I didn’t help people.” you said rubbing the back of your head feeling a little embarrassed by the high praise.  Ingo hummed in agreement, “The woman was delt with for her assault on our workers, so don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.” that did get some of the load off of you.

After that Emmet grinned widely, “Well, we’ll be waiting a while for people to get up here, takes a good hour.” he sat down dramatically on the seats as Ingo rolled his eyes at how the man sprawled out like a Starmie.  “You just like to make things difficult for me.” Ingo said as he sat at the very edge in a tight spot as Emmet looked pleased with himself. They truly did act like brothers. Emmet pressed forward to try and push against Ingo. “I’m not moving.” Ingo said stubbornly as Emmet pouted before laying his head on his brother’s leg. 

“You know I like the seat to myself.” Emmet whined to him, as Ingo looked unimpressed at him, with a neutral face and eyebrow raise. You snicker to yourself taking a seat across from them as Emmet just stared at his brother in silent annoyance.

Ingo looked away opting now to ignore him, which had Emmet make an indignant noise. He looked at you instead, “Have any rotten siblings of your own?” he asked as Emmet looked offended by such a term. “I am not rotten, if anything you’re the ones who causes the most problems.” he ‘maturely’ stuck out his tongue.

You find yourself smiling at how easy going they were right now, “No, I’m an only child luckily.” you tell them as Ingo tilts his head. “Parents didn’t want anymore kids?” he asks you as he did start messing with his brother’s hair. Which seemed to work in making him stop pouting. 

You shake your head, “My parents died when I was 14, so they never got the chance. Sickness.” you said calmly, it was fine now, you were older, so you didn’t mind sharing. Ingo’s eyes looked softer at you, “I’m sorry.” he said in a quieter tone, you shake your head again with a small smile.

“It’s fine, it’s been years, and I’ve gotten only better. I lived with my aunt until I turned 18 then headed straight for college.” you shrug, he nods along with your statement. Emmet speaks up then with a smile at you, “I am Emmet, and at least you might have found verrry good friends, right?” he asked curiously.

You look away from him with a sheepish laugh, “yeah... friends.” you said, even though you were lying, you had no friends. The twins shared a look between each other, and you found yourself lost in thought. Maybe someday you would make friends.

you blinked out of them when the bell chimed, Emmet got up at inhuman speeds enough to pop his back. You were kind of shocked he didn’t get a headrush, “Alright! Someone got here early!” he said in a chipper tone. “Time to make them cry!”

Ingo groaned from the statement, “Emmet, that’s not the idea to go for.” he says getting up with more grace than his more energetic brother. Pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a breath, but you did see his lips quirk slightly from amusement at the other antics.  Turning to you he tips his had again, “we’ll be back shortly.” he promises before following Emmet out the cart.

time passed on after that, you’d heal their pokemon when they came back, and made a bit more conversation with them. Finding out interesting things. Emmet, despite how chipper he was, liked bitter and sour things mostly. While Ingo preferred sweet things and spice. You also found out that Emmet was a well of knowledge in pokemon facts, which you quickly were able to keep up with. Ingo also liked to talk about trains quiet alot, and though you couldn’t make conversation, he seemed all too happy to just talk and you listen.

In return you told them a bit about yourself, things you liked, books you’ve read, movies you’ve watched, and what you wanted to do once you graduated. Even a bit on your life with your aunt... it was just easy to open up to them. You felt like you could trust them, they made you feel at ease.  They would nod along, and pitch in with their own stories if something you said sparked a memory for them. They were very kind and made for great companions on this long train ride.

Eventually you find yourself sitting between them as you talked, they both were pressed up against you, but you didn’t seem to mind. It had gotten a bit colder as the day progressed, and soon you’d be needing to leave. You mentioned as much, passively that you’d have to get back to your class, and felt them sightly tense for a moment... or you could have been imagining it.

The brothers stared at each other, as if having a conversation with their minds, staring each other down. You weren't sure for what, and honestly if twins really did have telepathy, you didn’t care. You were also worn out from the day, and couldn’t wait to get home.

**Emmet’s Ending**

Ingo then sighed and stood up as he popped his body, “Think I'll go find us some snacks, you haven’t ate in a while.” he said to you, and you blinked... come to think of it yeah, you had been so lost in talking with them you forgot about lunch.

“er... thanks.” You said looking a little flustered again at how easily you forgot a meal. Emmet waved to his brother as he left before smiling at you brightly.

“I am Emmet, and I have a question for you!” he said in his chipper tone, you smile, starting to think his first part when speaking a ‘verrrry’ was a tik of his.  Not that you were judging, but that was the best explanations you got, “What is it?” you asked curiously.

The smile grew a bit, as his eyes closed up due to it, “I was wondering if you’d be interested in working for me.” 

You stared at him, the world blanking for a second as the question sank in your head. Emmet stared at you, waiting for you to respond. Though he did speak up, “Please? I’d be verrrrrry happy if you did.” he pleaded with you a tilt of his head.

Finally you blinked and gapped, “W-Well... this is unexpected.” you admitted, you were looking for a job after school. “I don’t even have my degree yet though so you’d have to wai-”

“I am Emmet! I’d be more than willing too, so would my brother. We think you’re a perfect fit to be one of the stationed nurses here.” he tells you hand gripping your own, he had a very tight grip also. You look bewildered by how insistent he was, but... a chance like this wouldn’t come again anytime soon. You heard Depot Agents were paid well and loved their jobs. Not just anyone was chosen for them, as it’s said Emmet and Ingo were very picky.

After a moment you give a smile of your own, “I.. I guess I could, if you both really do want me.” you told him, a pleased look came across his face. Something in your stomach churned at how... not human the smile now looked. But Emmet wouldn’t hurt you, right? What reason would he have too, he’s had more than enough time now..

“Great!” Emmet told you, hand reaching up slightly as you look confused. “Just need to do one small thing for this to be official.” he tells you, something about his tone make your hairs stand on end. But you felt a bit numb and stiff as he placed a hand on the nape of your neck.

You give a small, little nervous laugh at how close to your personal space he was. Nose to nose, ghost of breath on your chin, and void eyes staring int your own. Emmet beamed, “Call it... initiation. So just hold still my newest play-thing.” he near purrs, you opened your mouth to ask what the fuck was up with that nickname.

Only to let out a squeak instead as something gripped the back of your neck, sharp claws digging into your flesh. What the- Something pushed it’s way into your head, you could feel it sliding up from your neck to the base of your skull. Your body was stiff, and eyes wide as you stared at Emmet’s smile that almost held all sharp teeth in the low lights... how had you not noticed before?

A smooth gloved hand touched your cheek as Emmet cooed, “That’s it, just give in my human.” he told you as it felt like something gripped your body. It hurt for a moment, you tried to look around, but you body just wouldn’t listen.  Emmet was smiling still, “I’m verrry pleased, you’re doing so good. I knew you’d be a good play-thing.” he said in a happy, excited tone. 

What was happening? It hurt to move, so you have no choice but to stay lax. Emmet put his arms around you and hummed against you skin as he hugged you. ‘Good... this is nice... Just obey, and everything will be okay.’ a voice that sounded like his purred in your head.  Hands carded through your hair, ‘I’m verrry pleased you helped one of my other play-things. I knew then I had to have you as one of them. You’d fit in so nicely, and be so happy.’ he told you in your head as you could feel others around you. Some were sad, others were impassive, and some were just numb. 

You felt calm and comfort from them though, it was okay, despite your racing heart and unable to move... you felt so happy. A smile formed on your face against your will. Emmet beamed at it when he saw it. “Remember to smile!” he teased you poking your nose. “And I’ll take good care of you my human.” he giggles lightly. ‘And all that matters is me.’ a darker voice of his said in your head. “You’re mine, and that’s all that matters.’

And despite the tears that he brushed away you found yourself nodding and parroting, “I’m yours, and that’s all that matters.” your voice said back and the dread sank to your very core..

It was very warm here.

**Ingo’s Ending**

A beat of a breath then Emmet groaned a bit and sat up, “Fine fine, I’ll go get some snacks then brother.” he grumbled, as if the two just got done silently arguing on who’d get what. You looked at Emmet as he smiled back at you and booped your nose.

“Be back with something to eat soon, you need to eat something.” he teased, you stared back at him. Oh right... you forgot all about getting some food. You flushed a bit, “Oh uh... right right.” You echoed making him smile brighter before waving to Ingo and heading out.

As the door closed behind Emmet, Ingo shifted his gaze back to you. Eyes blank and seemed to glow with how white they were. He stared at you looking you up and down, and you just gave a weak smile back.  “I wanted to also thank you for your help from yesterday.” he told you after a long moment. “Not many would have stepped up for another.”

You just stare dumbly for a moment, then shrugged, “It’s no problem like I said, I enjoy helping people.” you tell him, and that was the honest truth, you thought you needed no reward for just being kind.

Ingo’s face didn’t change, but his eyes did seem to light up a bit more in amusement. “My brother you see cares deeply for those who work for him. He’s very attached to them, guess you could say because of how strict we are on who gets employed, we grow close to them.” a tilt of his head and a relaxed sigh.

A nod is all you can give, they seemed nice enough, and none of the Depot Agents ever seemed like they hated it here. And despite how loud Ingo could be, You felt calmed by his deep tones. They were steady and strong when he spoke, easy to see how people could listen to him with the authority he held. There was a pause between you two, that felt comfortable as Ingo seemed to be thinking on something. He hummed as you watched him turn to fully face you on the seat. “Which is why I wish to offer you a position here.” he finally said.

“W-What?’ was the only thing you could say back the look of chock on your face made him chuckle.

“Yes,” Ingo began again, “I wanted to offer you a job, you’ve proven yourself capable today to my brother and I. He quite likes you, but has agreed that me being your Boss would be better given your personality and history.” he explained eyes staring into yours.

You gap at the offer, and seemed to be in shock for at moment, before clearing your head. “I uh... still am in school though, I’d have to-”

Ingo cuts you off by a shake of his head, “We know, I know... and we will be willing to work with you until you get your license. And take care of any legal problems there is. Start you off easy, then once we’re fully ready, you can work full time at a nurse here at the station, we are in need of another.” he explained very thoroughly.  But given the guy was rambling just earlier about safety checks and such, was it any wonder he would be the one to cover all his bases? 

Your eyes met his again, the frowned stayed on Ingo’s face, but it felt like a more neutral expression as he waited for your reply. You hadn’t noticed his hands gripping your fingers. His stare was a bit unnerving with how he didn’t seem to blink, how had you missed that? Come to think of it, something about his face seemed off in this light the longer you stared. But as you blinked, it vanished... Ingo didn’t interrupted your thoughts as you bounced the idea in your head for a moment.

This was a big offer, one you knew they didn’t make lightly. How in the actually fuck had you managed to endear yourself that quickly to them!? You weren’t even trying, and hadn’t even thought about working for them. But... your professor always said opportunities were like Drifloons, one wind and they were gone.

“S-Sure.” You finally managed out to Ingo, “I’d love to work for you Ingo.” you finally managed out with a small smile.  Ingo’s eyes brighten, even his frown went to more straight than before. One of the hands moved from yours to your shoulder. A friendly gesture, “That’s great! I was hoping it’d be easy.” he said, you looked bemused at that statement.

Something brushed against the back of your neck, “Most of my Guests are a little harder than this.” you here him say, guests? That was an odd- You yelp a bit like a Yamper who was bit by a Joltik, something just cut into your neck! You went to move your hand to see what it was, but found it stayed still on your lap. You mouth stayed slightly open as Ingo watched you, “Just relax, the process is a bit uncomfortable at first, but so longa s you don’t struggle, it won’t hurt that bad.” his voice boomed out as you could only stare.

Your body felt weird and wrong all over, something something was gripping your joints, your very nerves, and stringing them up. Despite the fact you stayed perfectly still, you were told to stay still. But why did that  matter? Why did you have to do as your told? Your heart started to race, you wanted to move, but that thought and effort make you whimper... it hurt, like you nerves were being electrified when you went to move against... whatever was holding you.

Ingo was gripping your hands again and shook his head firmly, “Don’t move.” he said again, “Please, it’ll hurt worse if you try. Just give in... just obey me.” that statement rang in your head, like you were hearing both from his mouth and inside your mind. When had you started crying? Overwhelmed possibly as your body was being hijacked by, whatever Ingo had put on your neck! What the fuck was he even doing!?

“Language, but I’m just connecting you to me and the others, no need to be afraid.” Ingo told you brushing away the tears on your face. your mind was forced to open up, you could... feel others, but not see them. But the most overwhelming one was Ingo, pressing on your thoughts with his own will. 

‘Good my Guest, very good... I’ll be a wonderful Host to you. The processes will take a bit longer, but with time you’ll know each of your workers and me well.’ Ingo’s voice in your head promised. You felt like he was smiling at you, as your shocked turned to a soft frown like his, and your eyes dulled over. ‘I’ll take care of you, you won’t feel unsure or scared anymore with me... you just have to..’

Ingo was hugging you, you could feel him as much as he felt you... it was so strange, calming, so very calming. Your heart stopped racing and the tension left you limp against the strings.

‘Trust me.’

With those words, you mouth moved without you telling it too. You heard your voice, but couldn’t control what you said. You felt yourself nod, “I trust you Host.” was what you said next. 

You felt his happiness at the words...

And you couldn’t even feel terror, as it was just so calm here.

-------

End Notes: So yeah, to explain it bit to you guys, as some of this was Peach’s AU, but some was my headcanons for it.

1. I picture Ingo and Emmet are different to people they er... ‘help’ ? . . .  Ingo is very calming, his presence in your head forces you to not feel terror or uncertainty. As a Guest, you feel secure in everything you do, say, and move. He basically eliminates fear from you, because why would you need to fear when he’s always with you? Just trust him, and all will be well. Emmet however is possessive as fuck, you are his, no one else... well besides his brother, he doesn’t mind sharing sometimes with people who are family. Everyone else can fuck right off. You feel warmth with him, coldness isn’t a factor to you, you always feel like he’s mentally holding you. Why would you need to be shivering when Emmet’s always here? You’re his, that’s all that matters.

2. Ingo dislikes people who swear and reprimands you for it. Emmet is mildly okay with it, but they are not sailors, they work in a Train Station.

3. With each twin it’s different what happens when you do just.. give up.  For both it doesn't hurt as much anymore, sure you can still feel the strings on your body, but they don’t hurt as you’re not tugging against them. This makes it easier on them, as you move less robotically and more like a human. (You can always tell who has been there the longest by how they move.) Ingo, after you stop resisting him, it feel like you’re just sitting there. You watch the world go by like a movie, and everything is silent and still. You can sense everyone, their feelings and thoughts, you’re all connected. Sometimes, if you close your eyes, you can see through their eyes... if only in brief moments. And by this point, you feel happy to be so connected. Emmet however is different, you are watching yourself move. But you always feel arms around you in your head. Sometimes someone is messing with your hair. You don’t feel unloved, because you can feel the others around you. You sometimes will shiver when new people come in, because they are just so cold. But you fully believe with Emmet they will be fine, after all you’re fine.

4. Both twins have an easy time getting people to trust them, with their status in Unova, it’s not that hard. But they got about it in separate ways. Ingo might use his Guests to talk to you first, mans is shy at times coming face to face with people without Emmet. Only after learning about you through them, will he approach you himself. Despite being a good Host, he does have uncertainty in his own booming tones, afraid he’ll scare off any potential new guests. Yet is always happy to find that his voice is what actually sooths people the most. Emmet is very straight forward of the two, sometimes ‘personal space’ doesn't click with him. He wants to be close to you, he wants to know what you smell like, what you sound like, and how your skin feels. it’s taken him a while, and Ingo to explain, that humans like their ‘bubble’ unlike their species. He’ll approach you fast, and it can be draining to talk to him, but you can’t help but like his personality all the same. But that’s also how he lures in new Play-things. Both firmly believe the ‘Hive Mind’ is the best thing for their puppets. Eventually you’ll see that too, all new times puppets have a hard time adjusting, but their here, and they’ll love and cherish you till the end.

and 5. My idea, the twins are very much immortal... well fuck.

Finally, if you’ve ever followed me in the past for me Sander Sides content you’ll know I can write more... ah... intimate things. Given most of you still to really be into Mind Control, if ever you guys want me to do something more for Submas and Mind Control, just let me know.  Send an ask or leave a comment and I’ll see what I can give you. :)

that is all, hope you enjoyed Reading!

[after-witch]

Hook Line and Sinker [Yandere Ransom Drysdale x Reader]

Title: Hook Line and Sinker [Yandere Ransom Drysdale x Reader]

Synopsis: You’ve broken up with Ransom Drysdale, and you mean it this time. But the freedom that comes with the breakup leads to a series of unexpected coincidences that leave you wondering: was it worth the price?

Word Count: 8955

notes: yandere, mentions of physical abuse, financial abuse, comfort sweaters

Nothing lasts forever. Not even relationships--and certainly not love. What might start off as an intense, passionate relationship can (and did, in your case) eventually fizzle; things that you were willing to overlook when you were absolutely besotted would wear down with time, and eventually they became too much to ignore.

That’s what you tell yourself, what you remind yourself, in the moment after you tell him:

“It’s over, Ransom. We’re done. I’m leaving.”

It couldn’t last forever. Not with his inability to stay sober, not with his tendency to cheat on you with meaningless flings that somehow hurt more than any steamy single-minded affair. Not with his flare-ups of controlling tendencies that left you in tears on the bathroom floor as he asked you to please stop dressing like a slut in front of his family, is that too hard to ask?

You’d asked him to change. He swore he would; he never did. You forgave him, more than once, more times than you could count. But enough was enough. Maybe he thought you were too weak to leave him, especially three years into your relationship, when your lives were becoming so integrated, pushing you towards a potential permanent future. It was a future that left you feeling numb and anxious. Stuck in a marriage with someone who wanted to stay with you but treated you horribly, all the same. And that wasn’t even getting into the family dynamics that left your head spinning.

He stares at you now, and his mouth opens just a little bit in what you know is going to be a barrage of questions, insults, maybe even threats spurred on by your words. But instead he closes his mouth and shakes his head, letting out a soft, bitter chuckle.

“Well, damn. This sucks.” You can see the indent of his tongue in his cheek before he clicks and shrugs. “Guess that’s it then. Need help packing your shit or what?”

His response is so blasé that you’re genuinely shocked and, you must admit, a little hurt. He didn’t even ask for a second chance or beg you to stay or argue with you about your terrible timing because our-vacation-to-Hawaii-is-coming-up. So it’s your turn to look surprised, and you shake your head.

“No, I… already took care of it. It’s at a storage locker.” You didn’t have family left, and your close friends had pulled away from you one by one once you stayed with Ransom time and time again--so you’d had to pay movers to help you pack and transport everything to storage over the weekend, while Ransom was away and you were free to make a clean breakup.

He nods, sticks his hand inside his jacket pockets. He’s looking around the room, avoiding direct eye contact in a clear show of his discomfort. It’s weird seeing Ransom like this--the normally self-assured, cocky Ransom, looking for any excuse not to look at you.

“So… see ya around?” His tone is sincere, if still confused. The idea of you leaving must have really never crossed his mind. The look on his face when he finally faces you again appears genuinely puzzled.

He sticks out his hand and it feels almost comical for things to end this way, particularly considering the nights you’d spent imagining some big blow up, some big fight with Ransom screaming and you firing off the many reasons why it had to end no matter what he said.

But it didn’t go the way you expected at all. It was calm. Easy. A clean break-up.

So you shake his hand and grab your purse and the small roller-suitcase and give a half-hearted wave as you walk out the door; the taxi you’d hired to pick you up is waiting, car running, meter going. You would be staying at a hotel for two weeks, which would hopefully be enough time to find a semi-decent apartment; your credit score had improved so much since Ransom added you to his cards, to a shared checking account, and it wouldn’t be too difficult to get approved.

A new life, one where you could focus on yourself for once, was just around the corner.

**

"I'm sorry, miss, but it's definitely not the reader. The card is declined."

You've had this nightmare before. No, you've lived this nightmare before--years ago when your credit was shit and you ran up your cards and had to face the music in a publicly humiliating display with the longest checkout line you'd ever seen behind you. Only that was years ago, in a little grocery store, and since getting together with Ransom you never had to worry about problems like this. You never had to worry about the shame of not having enough, not being enough.

But this? This was happening now. In an upscale hotel. With your nice purse (a Christmas present) and designer clothes (casual, comfortable) and your cheeks flushed undeniably warm.

The hotel clerk has a tight, sympathetic smile on her face. A coworker who walks behind her glances at you, judging, and you just know he's going to head into some break room and tell everyone but yet another piece of discarded army candy with a declined credit card. You wish you'd kept your sunglasses on.

"Did it, um, say why? I don't--" you plaster a smile on your face, hating the way this all feels familiar, like a part of your past coming back to haunt you. "I don't understand, the card is good."

The clerk's smile flickers, just a bit.

"It says there's a fraud alert on this card. Perhaps you'd better call the company. Or would you like me to call them?"

Fucking. Ransom.

"Oh, oh no, don’t worry about it. I’ll call them myself. I'm so sorry about this." You turn away from the clerk as quickly as possible and step away from the counter, away from the person waiting behind you who will surely have no trouble with their card, away from the clerks giving you a passive side-eye. You lean against a cool cement pillar in the lobby and you know what you have to do.

You have to call Ransom.

You haven't deleted his number yet--you'd planned on calling him today or tomorrow to figure out how to split up your shared finances--so it's easy enough to find the number. It's not so easy to tap his contact, but you have to, so you force yourself to do it and stare at his photo as the call rings. And rings. And rings. “Hello?” Your breath catches but in an instant, when the message continues, you feel stupid. It’s his voicemail. Fuck.

You text him, instead. Emergency. Call right away. And of course: He leaves you on read. Fuck.

You call him again. And again. He picks up on the sixth call, but your heart is racing too hard and sweat is beading down your forehead and it takes you a moment to confirm that the "Hello?" wasn't part of the voicemail message this time. Fuck.

"Um. Hey," you say, keeping your voice as un-royally-pissed-off as possible, because if he did put in a fraud alert then you don't want to risk any additional asshole moves. "So there's something wrong with the card? The one that ends in 8921? The hotel said there was a fraud alert and--"

"Did you really think I'm going to keep paying for your shit if we're over?"

His voice is quick, biting--exactly what you'd expected from him earlier. Somehow it stings even harsher over the phone, where you feel more helpless, unable to avoid his words.

"I thought..." you wet your lips, trying to maintain your cool. "Look, my name is on them, so I thought send you my part of the payments until I can get cards in my own name."

He chuckles, low and short. "Yeah? What, you want to create a payment schedule or something?"

You fight back the annoyance in your tone. You hate having to be the bigger person, but your finances--your life--is on the line. "Yeah, actually, that'd be perfect. It wouldn't be for long. You know I'll pay them on time, I'm not looking to screw you over."

"You're going too pay me on time? For all the stuff you've bought, the stuff I’ve bought for you, this hotel room and god knows what else? How are you going to afford all that?"

He knows you recently earned a promotion at your work. He knows this, because you were so excited about it, and his half-assed congratulations over lukewarm leftovers left you feeling bitter and sad and useless. So you can't help it when bitterness seeps into your voice with your answer. "You know I just got a promotion."

"Did you?" It's said in such a casual tone that it gives you pause, but a moment later he simply hangs up on you.

Fucking. Ransom.

You shove your phone back into your purse, and the clerks at the counter are staring at you. Sweat has trickled down your back and your shirt sticks to your skin ever-so-slightly as you pull away from the pillar and approach the counter, awkward smile and cheeks hot.

"There is an issue with the card, they're working on it, so I’ll just call for a new reservation when it's fixed. I'm so sorry for the mix up!" Your voice is so peppy and high-pitched and fake and you feel like you’re back at your old job, feet aching with falling apart shoes, forced to deal with people returning old toasters laden with crumbs, calming they’d “just bought it the day before and it didn’t work.”

"Of course," the clerk says, and you know this is hotel clerk code for "You're a shitty liar."

You roll your suitcase out of the lobby with tears in your eyes and you shove your sunglasses on as soon as you've cleared the building. You feel exhausted, drained--so you use what little energy you have left to start googling for cheap motels.

**

The room smells musty. You pin the plastic sheet you’d snagged at a dollar store over the comforter and pray it will be enough to protect you from whatever is on the likely unwashed fabric. The TV is broken, there’s no WIFi, and there’s a few suspicious stains on the floor that make you wonder if this hotel has ever been featured in a porno, true crime show, or both.

But it’s all you could afford with the cash in your wallet. You only had enough cash on hand for 2 nights at a ragtag hotel that offers nightly and hourly rates. You didn’t dare use your debit card or any credit cards with Ransom’s name or information on them.

You just need some sleep. A good night’s sleep to feel renewed and ready to tackle retaking your life, bit by bit. In the morning, you need to go to the bank and withdraw your money from the joint bank account. Then you can reopen an account in your name, get a new debit card, and apply for a few credit cards afterwards.

Sure, it would have been nicer to do this without Ransom being an asshole. But deep down, you suspected he wouldn’t let you have a clean, lets-still-be-friends type of break. Not after all the times he’d pressured you into staying, manipulating you with words and gifts and promises, promises. Promises that were worth shit. 

The sheet crinkles underneath you as you scroll through your messages. You’d texted a few formerly close friends about the breakup earlier, hoping that they’d maybe want to reconnect. So far, you’d been left on read, blocked, and received only one response: “New number, who is this?”

So much for that. Not that you can blame them. There are only so many times they can rush over for a late night intervention in which you tell them every horrible thing Ransom does (he’s controlling, he doesn’t want me to meet with friends without permission, he tells me what I can and can’t wear, he cheats, he lies, he pushed me--)--before they get tired of you returning to him, again and again and again.

The only one who’d been texting you recently--okay, for the past year--had been Ransom. Mostly dick pics. And demands for you to send him something back, which you always did after a while, because you didn’t want to deal annoyed texts or voice messages accusing you of clearly cheating on him or hating him because why else wouldn’t you be willing to send him so much as a sexy selfie to your boyfriend? 

But in between those, there were conversations. Sometimes sweet ones, sometimes thoughtful ones that always made you remember why you fell hard for him in the first place. Late night conversations from when he was off on trips. You try not to wonder if he was fucking someone on each of these trips, if while you were sending him a late night ramble about a TV show and he was humoring you with jokes and quips, he was actually snuggled up with someone else. Laying in bed, naked, laughing at your dumb ass waiting at home.

The not-so-sweet conversations were ones that you had screenshotted and sent to your friends more than once, before they pulled themselves away. Texts asking where you were. Asking who you ate lunch with, and whether or not you were fucking them. Asking why your new office was connected to a certain co-worker’s, and how many blowjobs you had to give to get said new office because you didn’t tell him about the new office until after you were moved in, so you were clearly hiding him. Asking you to send him outfit pics so he could approve them or make you change if they were too slutty or not slutty enough or if you were only clearly wearing that halter dress to try to get with the bartender.

Yet your mind had always returned to the nice Ransom, the Ransom who made you laugh and squeezed you hard when had a shitty day of work and let you bury your face in his sweater as you snuggled on the couch. Maybe that’s why it took so long to leave.  You were waiting for him to stop being Ransom and start being the fantasy of Ransom you’d conjured in your head.

Your eyes feel heavy so you plug in your phone, turn the sound off, and lay down on the uncomfortable plastic sheet that crinkled over the pillows. It feels strange to lay on a lumpy mattress covered in plastic, after years of custom-made beds and memory foam pillows and all the other luxuries that Ransom was able to provide.

You try not to think about it too much. While you won’t exactly be indulging in all the luxuries you had with Ransom, but your job pays you well, and you won’t ever have to go back to living hand-to-mouth like you did before. You won’t have to worry about late bills and debt collectors and landlords who come late at night and demand inspections while you’re in your pajamas.

You have work in the morning. You have to get to the bank in the morning. Your thoughts are still buzzing with anxiety as you fall into an uneasy slumber.

**

“I’m sorry, but the account has been closed.”

You feel years of customer service training cracking underneath your skin. You can’t freak out. If you freak out, they won’t feel inclined to go the extra mile. You know this, from firsthand experience.

So you take a shaky breath. “Um, this just--it isn’t possible. It’s a joint account. I’m on the account. There was money in there, you can check--”

“I’m sorry, but the funds were transferred and account has been closed by the other account holder. There’s nothing I can do. I suggest contacting the other party in the account.”

You swallow and nod and walk away, this time having been smart enough to keep your sunglasses on to hide your humiliated expression. Why didn’t you insist on having your own account? Ransom said it was better to keep it joint, so you could just buy stuff whenever you wanted. You’d agreed because it was so generous, something you’d never thought possible at the time, when you were used to having to pay overdraft fees and cringing whenever you checked your balance.

Your fingers tremble as you bring up his contact on your phone. You tap. No answer.

You don’t have time to call him two, three, ten times--you have to get to work. So you steady your nerves. You breathe in, you breathe out. You get in your car and plug your phone in and decide to contact your lawyer. Fuck--your lawyer was Ransom's lawyer. But the anxiety eases when you remember that you’d paid him a retainer fee months ago, and Ransom couldn’t do anything about that. You could at least get a basic consult out of the retainer.

The call ringing sounds muffled through your car’s speaker but it isn’t long before someone answers, and you’re transferred to the lawyer Ransom insisted you have--gotta have a lawyer when you have money, babe--and that you hadn’t spoken to in ages.

“Hi,” you say, voice artificially bright, “this is--”

You don’t get a chance to finish.

“I know who this is.” The lawyer sounds tired, and his tone is curt and clipped. “I’m sorry. I’m no longer able to provide you with any legal counsel.”

You almost miss a red light and regret calling the office while you were driving.

“Is this about the debit card? Because I paid the retainer months ago--”

“The retainer has been refunded into the connected checking account.”

Your voice looses its artificial cheeriness and you stumble over your words in frustration. “That’s--it’s--it was a joint account, which is why I called, Ransom drained it and took everything. Isn’t there something we can do, because that was my money too and--”

“I am no longer able to provide you with legal counsel.”

You want to cry. You hate crying, as an adult. It makes you feel weak. Especially on the phone.

“I don’t understand. Why was the retainer refunded? Did--did someone call you?”

He clears his throat into the phone. “I am no longer able to provide you with legal counsel. Goodbye.”

He hangs up. Your hands shake.

You pull into the parking lot of your work and park the car and as soon as you do, you hunch yourself over the steering wheel and simply shake in frustration.

You have no bank account. Ransom drained it. You have no credit cards. Ransom blocked them. You couldn’t even talk to a lawyer, because--shock--Ransom made sure you couldn’t. Everything was in Ransom’s name. He insisted on adding you to his accounts, closing out your own paltry ones; insisted that he pay off your credit card debt, and making you close those, too, instead adding you to his cards. It was all to help you out, he said, at the time.

Wasn’t it? He was shockingly not judgmental about the state of your finances, and while you’d put up some protest, you didn’t exactly argue with him when he suggested wiping your debts clean and getting your credit back up. And considering that he wasn’t immune to needing a bail-out now and then (late night calls to his grandfather, snarky comments at his parent’s dinner table, come to mind) maybe he could sympathize with being in over your head. Even if your issues were rooted in poverty and shitty jobs and his were rooted in a total lack of financial discipline and, as you’d later found out, a drug addiction.

Still. He helped you before. He would help you now, once he realized how serious it was. For now he was just--reacting like an asshole, acting childish and ridiculous. He was an asshole. You know this. You’ve known this. You need to call him and meet with him and make him realize how ridiculous he’s being, and he’ll sigh and snark but he’ll agree to stop acting like such an ass.

But first you have to work. Life goes on. Even without Ransom--even with Ransom, screwing you over out of pettiness.

The air conditioning in the lobby is on blast, and the familiar smell of clean furniture and floor cleaner from the late-night cleaning crew is surprisingly comforting. Here, you can forget about Ransom--forget about the cards and the lawyer and the fact that your life has been upended in mere hours. If only until your lunch break, at least.

Anthony is working the front desk and you give him a a soft, if strained smile. There’s something in the smile that he gives you in return that reminds you of the hotel clerk. Sympathetic and judgmental.

Ah. You probably look like--well, less than your best, you realize. You did pack some toiletries in your suitcase but the water in the motel had streaks of brown and you didn’t shower, opting instead to rinse your face with what was left of a water bottle you’d bought earlier and layering on more deodorant to make up for the lack of a proper scrub. You probably looked a bit tired, haggard, not unlike some of the employees who got stuck with big clients the night before their paperwork was due.

Still. Nothing that freshening up in your private bathroom--thank god for the new office--can’t help. So you hit the button on the elevator and take deep breaths as you ride up, intent on working as productively as possible. The doors open and you navigate the familiar maze of open-plan desks for the lower-tier workers, desks surrounded by half-walls that always kept you staring straight ahead, lest you accidentally glance over and see a co-worker picking their nose.

Yet as you weave in-and-out of the familiar rows, heading towards the back of the room where the real offices, the ones with full walls and doors and privacy glass lay, you can’t help but feel that something is… off. 

No one calls out to greet you, though that can be easily attributed to the jealousy over your promotion. You’d been working there for far less than most of the lower level workers--Ransom got you the job, with his connections and a hefty revision of your resume and, you assume, some personal phone calls--and you’d already been promoted to senior management. That wasn’t technically Ransom’s work, though. That was all your own effort, your own blood, sweat, tears and intense devotion to each project that came your way. Sure, the connections he helped you make, the dinner parties, all that helped--but if it weren’t for your skills, the connections wouldn’t have made a difference. Right? 

Still, whatever bitterness existed in the people hunch in open-air cubicles, the receptionists always greeted you. But today they caught your eye then awkwardly glanced down, or pretended to be looking for something in their drawers. It was odd. Did you look that bad? That out of sorts?

You shake off the heavy feeling in your stomach and for once, you shut the door to your office instead of keeping it open for passers-by or people needing approval for this-and-that. It feels good to lean against the solid wood door and take a breath, a deep one, invigorating and calming.

A quick trip to the bathroom has you staring at yourself from all angles. You don’t look that bad, you reason. Just tired. But who wouldn’t be, sleeping on a plastic sheet in the shittiest motel in the area? You take a quick sniff under your arms but even that reveals nothing much but a faint hint of sweat and powdery deodorant.

There’s a firm knock at your office door and you glance at the mirror for a final once over before opening it up. It’s your boss. Did you have a meeting? You try to do a mental scan of something you’ve missed, but nothing comes to mind.

“Hi,” you say, wavering with uncertainty at the threshold. Should you invite him in? “What can I do for you? We didn’t have a meeting, did we?” You let yourself chuckle, dry and quick. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit scattered this morning.”

Your boss doesn’t return your chuckle, which immediately raises the hairs on the back of your neck. Something was wrong. Shit--you were working on a major project for a seriously important client. The type of client that could genuinely make or break a company, if you got on their bad side. You press your lips together and make a silent vow to keep it serious.

“I’d like to keep this conversation private.” His tone is low and serious and you invite him in without a second thought, shutting the thick door behind you, trying to ignore the way everyone was shooting glances as it closed. Fuck, fuck, fuck, your thoughts race--no wonder everyone was giving you the stink eye. Something was wrong with the client, and you were the one making primary contact with them.

Your boss takes a seat on the leather sofa pushed up against the wall and you immediately set yourself down behind your desk.

He sighs. Short. Frustrated. Annoyed.

“We have to let you go.”

The words don’t register.

“Go where?”

It’s only after you say it that you realize what he said, what it meant, and you feel like a colossal moron in every respect.

“It’s not working out,” he continues, staring at your desk and not at your face. “Since you’ve only been in this position for a month, you don’t quality for senior severance. The best we can do is to pay you what you’ve earned this week.”

Your mouth is so dry that you don’t know if you can talk. Your hand fumbles on your desk for a water bottle you’d left overnight, and that’s when you see it--the photo frame. You keep a photo of yourself and Ransom, cuddled together for a selfie, on your desk. The photo was lying on your desk, frameless, ripped in half--leaving only your vacantly smiling face staring up at you.

Ransom was here.

“Did he put you up to this?” You whisper. “Did Ransom tell you to fire me?”

You know he won’t answer. But you stare at him so fervently that he can’t help but look up at you, and you see it all in his eyes, in the subtle, embarrassed expression of his face.

You can imagine Ransom strolling in--maybe he called first--and settling in for a private audience with your boss in his office. He’d probably pull the chair up to the desk and put his feet on it, just to be an ass. Then he’d bring up… you. And why you had to be let go. Did he give a reason, did he tell your boss why a respected employee who he once secured a position for, who shot up the ranks through intense effort and work, needed to be fired? Did he even need to give a reason?

“This is absolute bullshit,” you say, finally, voice dry and hoarse and bitter. You want to say you’ll be contacting a lawyer. That this won’t stand. But you know--and he knows--that there’s nothing you can do.

Your boss stands, slow, and sighs again. “I’m sorry it had to end this way. Pack up your things as quickly as possible.”

He leaves, and you keep your eyes trained on the ripped photograph to avoid seeing the expressions of the people in the doorway before your boss mercifully shuts the door.

It takes all of your effort not to cry.

You don’t have much effort left.

**

Your things consisted of a handful of personal items, little touches you’d brought in to make your office feel more like “you.” A nice picture print. A pastel afghan to drape over the couch. A stapler with a floral design. You have the strong urge to dump them in a trash can, but that’s quickly quelled by the realization that you can’t afford to buy new things, or any things, at this point.

You don’t care if wearing your sunglasses as you power walk to the elevators makes you look stupid. You know someone, somewhere in this office is filming you and probably captioning it with something stupid to post to their Reels or TikTok, and it just makes you leave faster. A few people murmur comments your way, sympathetic in tone, but you’re not really listening. None of their platitudes matter, because Ransom was here, in your workplace, in your office, and he stole the thing you were most proud of from under your feet.

To his credit, when you reach the bottom floor, Anthony practically fumbles out from behind his desk and holds the door open for you. He mouths a “Sorry” and he probably is, but he’s probably used to dealing with rich assholes like Ransom who get what they want, when they want it; even when what they want is to fire a good employee on demand for very personal reasons.

The sun is beating down hard, even for the morning, and the stress of your situation makes you blast the air conditioning as soon as you get in the car. God, the car--how are you going to afford the payments? You wish you could call your mom. You wish your friends--are they even your friends, anymore?--would call you back.

You grab your phone from your purse and stare at the black screen. Maybe you should call the friend who didn’t block you. She would answer, if you called, because she knew you didn’t make calls unless it was serious. She might not rush to your side, but maybe she can offer you a place to stay, a couch, some advice. A kind word would do, right now, with how much anxiety and frustration has been packed into the last 12 hours.

But when you unlock your screen, your gut sinks. Five missed calls. From the storage company. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You tap their number and bring the phone to your ear and pretend that your hands aren’t shaking.

The man who answers is the same one you talked to on the phone before, when setting up your move. “Hello, Move’nSecure Storage Company. This is Steve speaking. How many I help you?”

“Hi Steve!” You hate how chipper you sound. “I actually just got a few missed calls from you guys, I’m sorry, I was in the office and--”

“Oh.” His voice is surprisingly flat, suddenly flat, losing its customer service inflection in an instant before picking it back up. “Yes. We’ve been trying to reach you. For confirmation, the storage locker your purchased is A443, correct?”

You fumble in your purse for the receipt and confirm the little numbers printed neatly on the paper. “Yes, A443. Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not.” You’re grateful that you didn’t have much for breakfast because you know it would be clawing its way back up at this point. “The card you gave us for the storage fee was declined.”

The debit card. You’d paid in cash for the move, and paid for 1 month of storage with the card. The card that was now useless, connected to an empty and closed bank account.

“Is there another card you can give us?”

“No, but...” You say, because no, there is not. There is not a card. There is not a job. There is nothing. “But if you could just hold my stuff, I’ll be there in less than a hour to get it.”

“We don’t hold items,” Steve tells you, a rehearsed banality to his tone. “Your items are currently outside the unit.”

You instinctively want to yell at Steve but, fuck fuck fuck, you’ve been there, behind the counter, dealing with people who couldn’t pay for shit and then had the nerve to get upset with you. “All of it?” You ask, your voice cracking slightly.

“Yes.”

You hang up, and toss your phone onto the passenger seat. The quicker you get there, the less chance that something will get broken or stolen or who knows what else.

The trip to the storage unit seems to take forever, and when you arrive you don’t even take a second to lock your car doors. Instead you sprint inside, startling Steve--looking at his phone, then at you, then at the sign plastered up on the wall leading to the storage locker floors. He points. Row A, separated into 100s, 200s, 300s, and--your number--400s.

You don’t remember if you say ‘thank you,’ because you’re speed-walking down the hallway and following the signs and it isn’t long before you see it: a storage locker with tons of stuff piled up, dumped, outside the now-empty unit where it was supposed to be safe and sound. Waiting for you to get an apartment and pick it back up and rearrange it into your new life, your new “you.”

The problem is immediate: You can’t fit all this in your car. You don’t know anyone who could take the stuff for you. You mind reels for options and the only thing you can come up with is ferrying your belongings to and from the hotel. You can pay for a few more days once you cash your partial paycheck. After that… you don’t know.

Pawn your things? Yeah. That might work. You can get enough cash by pawning most of your stuff, the good stuff. Enough money to get you into a shitty apartment with leaks and a bad landlord. Then you can a job that barely pays rent and you’ll be right back where you started, before you met Ransom. Before you thought leaking ceilings and $20 paychecks after taxes were a thing of the past.

You ignore the humiliation that makes your stomach curl as you take your things out to the car, handful by handful. Steve doesn’t bother holding the door open for you. You mention that you’re going to be back on your way out, and he offers a non-committal hum.

At least when you get to the hotel, the owner sees you fumbling with boxes and offers to help you out. It takes less time with two hands to get everything in the room, and once it’s locked up you head back out to the storage units.

You keep your sunglasses on for the second trip into the storage unit, even though you don’t know Steve or care what he thinks. He doesn’t look up when you walk in and it’s just as well, since you’re only heading back to the A-400s and don’t need his non-existent help.

But the sight that greets you when you round the corner to your unpaid-for storage locker makes your blood run cold.

Your stuff is gone. All of it.

You rush back to the desk, where Steve does look up, startled by your urgency.

“My stuff,” you spit out, “My stuff is gone! Someone took it!”

Steve shrugs. “Sorry.” He points to a sign behind him: “We are not responsible for the loss of items inside or outside storage lockers.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” You can’t the anger in your voice this time. “You just watched someone walk off with my stuff and didn’t say anything?”

Steve raises his eyebrows. “If it was that important, you shouldn’t have left it here. Or you should have given us another card.”

You feel like throwing your hands up but you just clench your fist and storm out the door, huffing as you reach your car. The anger melts into the sense of loss, the realization that you only have a few meager items that you’d managed to collect; you picked the lightest stuff, first. And in retrospect it was things that didn’t matter much at all. Clothes. Hair supplies. Makeup. You should have grabbed the box with your USB sticks, your memory cards, your photo albums; your personal mementos and sentimental shit. Instead you grabbed the box with your shampoo.

At least the clothes might get something in a pawnshop. The makeup, too, on Facebook or Depop or Instagram. But it wouldn’t be enough to put you up in an apartment. You’ll have to live in your car. Until they repossess it for lack of payment.

You don’t have your bank account, your credit cards, your job, a place to stay, or your personal possessions. And soon, you won’t have your car.

You have no friends. No boyfriend. No family.

All you have $20 left in your wallet and well, fuck it. You grab some McDonalds on the way home because, fuck it, and eat all the fries before you make it to the motel. The thought of eating in your dirty room makes your stomach turn and you decide to eat everything else you bought, the burger and the shake and the chicken nuggets too, tossing the wrappers on the floor. It feels like deja vu--getting cheap fast food to make you feel full, tossing trash on the floor of the passenger seat, all bringing back the way you used to when you’d grab something from the dollar menu on your way to work at the call center.

You almost wish you could stay at this hotel, brown water and all. The owner is decently nice. He smiles at you when you enter and doesn’t bring up that you didn’t come back with more boxes, like you said you would.  

You’re surprised at how grateful you feel for the dingy hotel room now that you won’t be able to stay here more than another day. Now that the alternative is sleeping in your car, then sleeping on the street, if you were lucky.

Your phone feels heavy when you set it on the table and stare at the home screen. Another photo of you and Ransom stares back up at you. You haven’t had time to change it up yet. He’s grinning. You’re smiling. It’s a good photo. You try to place it in your memory, try to remember what beach that was, but your trips blur together and you can’t.

Should you call him? If it was just the cards, just him being petty over credit and finances, it was one thing. You could try to placate him with returning gifts, just asking him to give you what you put in from your own paychecks. But making you lose your job? It was too far, too fucking far. And there was no going back from that. Fuck, someone was probably moving into your office as you sat in this dimly lit room mourning the loss of your entire life.

For a brief, very fleeting moment, you consider calling Harlan. You weren’t exceptionally close, but he seemed to like you well enough. He’d even asked you once, puling you aside at a tension-filled family party, if Ransom treated you right, told you to tell him if he ever got to be too much. Harlan felt like Ransom’s keeper--in more ways than one. You could never tell Harlan about the shouts or the occasional bruises from when Ransom really, really lost his temper--it’s not like you could prove them, anyway, as Ransom made sure to keep you away from his family when he lost control like that. No need for excuses about running into doors when he made sure you looked your best at family functions.

But the thought of breaking the uneasy stasis that Ransom had with the most significant member of his family made you want to vomit. There would be no coming back from that, and you knew better than to cross any line involving the great Harlan Thrombey.

You could call your friend--ex-friend? The one who didn’t block you or forget your number. You should. No, you will. Because what else do you have to lose.

But before you can bring up her number, you get a text--Ransom. It’s a photo and your curiosity gets the better of you as you click the notification.

“What the fuck?”

He’s sent you a photo of his car, trunk open. It’s filled with boxes, odds-and-ends. It’s filled with your stuff.

You text him: What??

He texts back: Hey. I’m in front of the hotel. Come out? Bring your suitcase. :P

It’s your stuff. It’s his car. He’s here. All reason is thrown aside as you grab your suitcase and purse and rush down the hallway, ignoring the owner’s confused response from behind his desk as you push open the front doors and look around the parking lot.

His car is parked to the side, not in front of the hotel’s glass double doors. He’s standing outside his car, leaning against it. He takes off his sunglasses and tucks them in his pocket when he sees you approaching, face confused and fuming all at once.

“What the fuck, Ransom, what the fuck is your problem--”

“Hey, hey,” he says, hands up in defense, “You’re not even going to thank me for picking up your stuff?”

You feel suddenly, impossibly rooted to the spot.

“What do you--what? You took my stuff?”

He shrugs. “C’mon, did you really think I’d just leave your stuff in some shitty storage unit? Someone would’ve taken it if I didn’t get there first.”

You swallow. “Why?” You ask, because Ransom never does anything for no reason. Or so you’ve learned.

His expression loses a bit of its cocky casualness. He tilts his head a bit, looking at you as if you’ve asked a particularly offensive question.

“Why do you think?”

To lord it over you? To make you think your stuff was gone and make you worried, sick, crazy?

“I don’t know,” is what you settle for in the end. “I really, really don’t. You--” You lick your lips, and try to calm down, calm the pitter-patter of your heart, and think before you speak. “You’ve done some pretty messed up stuff today. My job?” The last question comes out soft and pained, and you know your eyes are starting to tear up.

“Hey.” His voice is soft and placating and it makes your stomach flip as he approaches you, standing there on the sidewalk with your purse and suitcase. “Hey, c’mon. Don’t cry on me.”

You know this Ransom. The Ransom that holds you and pets your hair and offers to get Thai food delivered even though he doesn’t like it just to make you happy.

He puts his hand on your shoulder and you jerk it away. “Don’t.” That Ransom is a fantasy. Or an incomplete version, the version that pretends he doesn’t lie and cheat and hurt you in more ways than one. “Don’t you fucking dare, especially not after what you pulled today. My job? My job, Ransom? You’re a--a fucking asshole.”

He puts his hands up again, defensive, and takes a step back. But he doesn’t return to his car, and stays just a few steps in front of you.

“Look. Call me an asshole. Sure, fine, I can admit that. But do you know what else I am?”

He waits a beat, waits for you to look at him, before he continues. “I’m a realist. I like facts. And the fact is? You aren’t much without me. No job, no credit cards, no bank account. Without me, you’re just some broke chick scrambling to get an apartment in the shittiest part of town, working a dead-end job that don’t pay shit. With me though…. “

He leaves the words unfinished, but you know what he means. Flashes of your life, cocktails and smart business outfits and dinners at restaurants you didn’t even dream about attending before you met him. Phone calls with shakers in the industry and social media requests from people you’d never dream you’d meet. Connections that meant something, a career path, dinner parties with people who could offer tangible benefits to your career and your life.

It wasn’t that he spoiled you. He wasn’t a sugar daddy. You weren’t getting gifts for blowjobs. It was that his presence in your life boosted you, socially, financially, mentally, physically, in every which way possible.

His presence got you a job that you loved, which meant you weren’t burnt out when you came home, which meant that you had the time and energy to spend hours catching up on books or redecorating the house or watching movies. Good money meant you could order in whenever you felt like it, meant you didn’t have to worry if you burned dinner because you could just buy new steaks or order-in or go out, last minute, and still get a great table. It meant you had all the clothes you wanted, stylish and personally tailored; it meant you had easy access to a gym and exercise equipment and an indoor pool to keep you healthy. It meant you had a life that provided comfort in every way possible.

Being with Ransom Drysdale was like… like a little shot of privilege directly into your arm.

Privilege that he took away just as easily as he gave it. Just as easily as you took it. Just as easily as you took it and eagerly ignored the dark side underneath. Or maybe you didn’t ignore it. Maybe you liked it, maybe it reminded you of who you were underneath the designer clothes and expensive dinners.

Maybe you wanted to fix him, like he fixed you? He wasn’t totally bad, after all, he did make sure no one took your belongings. Maybe it was your presence that gave him the idea for that touch of sympathy, maybe with Ransom change was slow and muddled, not picture-perfect sweeping changes like the kind in movies.

“So?” Ransom’s voice cuts through your thoughts. “Are you going to come home or,” he waves his hands around dismissively, at the hotel, at you.

You feel very, very less-than right now. You look awful, your hair mussy and your makeup mostly melted off with sweat and sun. You probably smell more than you normally do, thanks to the lack of a shower. Your muscles, sore from the motel bed, ache for the large spa bathtub that Ransom had installed in the master bathroom just for you, stocked with bubbles and salts and overpriced bath bombs that were $10 a pop.

But your muscles had hurt before, when he pushed you against the dresser.

You have nothing, and no one. Except Ransom. Ransom who didn’t judge you when you instinctively saved plastic bottles and boxes, but merely nudged you towards recycling and took you out to splurge on a reusable water bottle and proper storage containers the next day. Ransom who asked you what sort of job you wanted, really wanted, and made it happen for you. Ransom who shrugged and wiped away your credit card debt without making you feel like shit.

Ransom who didn’t let you leave the house if your wrists were sporting fingerprint shaped bruises. Ransom who argued with you about talking to men, even men at work. Ransom who held you tight at night and said he never wanted to let you go, and wouldn’t you just make a fine-ass addition his crazy family. Ransom who took care of you, now that you had no one else.

“What do you want me to do?” The words feel slow, sluggish. Like they wanted to stick to the roof of your mouth and it took everything in you to get them out.

His voice turns low and serious as he stares at you with an characteristic expression. “Well, the first thing is to get down on your knees…”

You feel your eyes practically bugging out.

“What the fuck, Ransom?”

He laughs. He always did have a nice laugh.

“I’m just messing with you, Jesus. Take a chi-I-il pill. Just grab your purse and come sit your sweet ass in the front seat. Let’s go get some burgers, I’m starving.”

Your legs feel like jelly when you take that first step, and the sound of your roller suitcase as you pull it along seems louder than ever. Ransom pops the truck and you just manage to fit it inside with the handle closed, jamming it in between some boxes at an odd angle. The handle of the passenger side is familiar, warm from the sun.

You open the door and practically shove yourself into the seat, closing the door as fast as possible. You can’t do more than glance at him as humiliation and anxiety and just the smallest bit of relief washes over you. It’s been less than 24 hours since you broke up, and here you are--again.

He’s staring at you quietly, his expression difficult to place. He looks relieved. He looks annoyed. He looks like he wants to kiss you. He looks like he wants to slap you. Maybe he wants to do it all at once and can’t decide which to pick.

Instead, he puts his hand on your thigh. Gives it a squeeze. Hard, bordering on painful.  He’s staring straight ahead, at the worn-out sign on the hotel’s front door, one hand gripping the flesh of your thigh. He looks good in profile. “Don’t ever try to pull something like that again. I mean it. I really mean it.”

You turn, glance out the window, familiar tears at the edge of your eyes.

“I won’t,” you whisper, dreaming of the tub and bubbles and how good a warm soak will feel on your back, on your thighs, on your soul.

“Good girl,” he says, patting your thigh firmly. He plucks his sunglasses out of pocket and puts them on in a smooth motion. The car starts smoothly, its fine-tuned and expensive engine a familiar sound, and your hands feel robotic as you pull the seatbelt over your chest and click it tight.

“Let’s get dinner and get home. You have some unpacking to do.”

[winterscaptain]

infirmity.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: part four of our 100 arc, covering 5x02, haunted! I forgot how much i love this episode, so i really leaned into this one. it’s a labor of love!! i can’t wait to hear what you all think (i crave feedback and affection) and if you reblog, i’d love to see your cheeky lil thoughts in the tags!!

an ajf fic arc that happily stands on its own! one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

words: 4.3k warnings: language, bad decisions

summary: “a friend should bear his friend’s infirmities” - william shakespeare, julius caesar.

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

You knock on the door at 8:30 sharp. Almost thirty seconds pass before he answers, and you note the hand on his holster as he opens the door. 

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you chirp. “Ready to go?”

He turns, gathering his things. “What do we know about this case in Kentucky?”

Thrown a little by the lack of greeting, you follow him into the apartment. The sight of the Foyet files on his desk aren’t foreign to you, nor are they a surprise. They’ve been there every time you came over during his leave (in fact, you’ve sat on them more than once), so why you expected them to go away once he was back you had no idea.

“Um, no connection between Call and his victims. They’re canvassing, but no sign of him so far.”

“Start with his recent history. Find the stressor.” His voice is flat, impassive, and you frown. 

He was just getting better…

You’re about to head back toward the door when -

“Don’t move.”

Right. The alarm. 

He stands by to arm it. “Ready?”

“Are you?”

+++

You arrive at the tarmac, Hotch in the passenger seat of your car. He looks a little resigned, but straightens and takes a breath before he opens the door, settling into his role as he steps out and straightens his suit jacket. 

It’s always a little funny to watch him transform. You’re honored you get to see it, even if he’s in rough shape. 

Especially then. 

You climb the stairs and follow him in, settling in your usual place. 

“Good to see you,” Dave says as Aaron scoots down the aisle. It makes you smile. 

“You, too.”

Aaron gets settled and you shift, trying not to hover but finding it difficult to be separated from him after his weeks of absence. He greets the rest of the team, exchanging pleasantries and checking in with Reid about his knee. 

“Any other attacks?”

JJ shakes her head, while Spencer elaborates. “Call’s proven hard to track. He’s never had a driver's license so he’s probably still on foot.”

“Or public transportation,” Emily notes.

You hum. “He wouldn’t take the bus. His face is everywhere.”

“Has anyone found a stressor?” You weren’t sure if Aaron’s brusque affect was going to continue once you made it to the plane, but his tone just about answers your question. 

Stepping back into authority quickly, there, Aaron. 

“He just lost his job,” Garcia supplies. “He’s worked at a factory since 1990. Made appliances since forever and not a single promotion.”

Derek tilts his head. “That’s a long time to be bitter.”

“Or he doesn’t care?”

JJ looks at Spencer and shakes her head. “Not if he’s got a family to feed.” 

“Actually, he’s of the hermit variety as far as I can tell. He’s got no one. No wife, no kids, no parents.” You watch Garcia’s eyes flicker around the screen as she talks to you, doing what she does best. 

“Nothing to live for.”  Derek’s looking a little too pointedly at Aaron for your taste, but your evaluation is interrupted. 

“So why hasn’t he killed himself yet?”

Your brain sputters at Aaron’s offhand delivery. “What?”

“Sprees usually end in suicide. If he’s got nothing to live for, why hasn’t he ended it?”

The energy in the room grows uncomfortable, fast. Aaron’s voice is still flat - you might go so far as to say it sounds dead, but that inspires a kind of heavy sullenness in your chest you’d rather not subject yourself to. 

You wish Haley was around for no other reason but to kick his ass. 

You’re thankful for Spencer when he answers Hotch’s question. “Because he isn’t finished, yet. We know he has displaced anger. He took it out on the first victim.”

“Well,” Aaron continues, “the stock boy represents someone. We need to know who.”

You meet Derek’s eyes and you can tell he’s trying to read you - trying to see if you’re as concerned as he is. You don’t give him the satisfaction. 

+++

Later, you corner Morgan on the plane before landing, keeping your voice low. The case is in your lap so there’s a valid distraction when you need one. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

He stops and turns. “I thought Hotch was cleared to drive.” 

“He is.”

“Then why did you pick him up this morning?”

You shrug. “I wanted to.” His eyes bore into the side of your head and you look up with an exasperated huff. “What?”

He sighs. “He’s only had a month off.”

“Well,” you say, aware that you’re being pedantic before you even get there, “thirty-four days. That’s a little more than a month.”

His stare is withering, but you’re impervious. “And you think that’s long enough?”

“Are you asking me as his coworker or as his friend?”

“Is there a difference?”

You shrug. “Maybe.” Yes. “But if you don’t think he’s had enough time, you should tell him.”

He scoffs. “No thanks. I like my job.”

“You like him more.” A little smile crosses your face. “Though, I know you don’t like to think so.”

“No. I like you.” Derek corrects. “He also happens to like you, so I tolerate him for your benefit.”

“Much appreciated.” You return to your work, but Derek’s eyes linger. You don’t look up as you ask, “What?”

“What if he has PTSD?”

Still writing, you answer with a general air of nonchalance. “He was evaluated.”

“Oh, come on. We wrote those questions. Hotch knows exactly -“

You slam your pen down and lean back with your arms crossed. You draw Spencer's eyes and lower your voice again. “So, what? Are you going to pick at me until you get me to say something you want me to say?” You let out a sardonic chuff, settling back to work. “If that’s the case, you’re gonna be here a while.” You tip your head a little toward the little table by the window. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”

You admittedly feel a little bad for being short with him, but everything seems to be testing your patience today. 

And if you’re honest, you’re worried about Aaron, too. 

After a few minutes of work in silence, you call out to him again. There’s the smallest of apologies in your voice. “Derek?”

He looks at you, dark eyes open and yielding - concerned and forgiving. “Yeah?”

“He’s back because he has to be. He needs to know we’re here for him.”

“He knows that.”

You offer him a small smile. “Don’t let him forget it.” You pause, your head wavering a little bit as your tone turns a touch facetious. “I can’t do all the heavy lifting around here.”

You get a laugh out of him - just a little one - and it’s enough. “Don’t push it, kid. I remember when you were dead weight.”

You roll your eyes. 

That’s enough, for now. 

+++

Even your seemingly-endless patience with Aaron rapidly wanes as you spend more time at the crime scene. It’s frustrating. 

“He was on an antipsychotic?” You ask with a little frown. 

The pharmacist nods. “Well, that’s why I wanted him to calm down. He’s been off of them at least a month, now.” 

“And when were you going to tell us this?” Aaron asks, harsh and sharp. 

You look at him, your frown deepening. 

What the fuck is that attitude?

“He’s armed, he’s delusional. Who’s his doctor?” Hotch’s tone grows even pointier, somehow, as he pushes harder. 

“I don’t remember - my computer…” She gestures behind the desk, where the computer has been fried by a bullet. 

“Great. That’s great.” He walks away, already making a call. 

“Excuse us,” you say in an attempt to recover. Derek echoes you and you try to avoid running after Hotch as he strides down the aisle. 

Long-legged asshole. Slow down. 

“Hotch,” you call. He doesn’t listen. 

“Call JJ and tell her about the meds.” He’s still walking. You’ve caught up. 

Derek chimes in, gesturing back at the pharmacist. “This is not her fault.”

Aaron turns on him. “Morgan, he’s in a psychotic break. It changes everything.”

“You want to talk about this?” Derek asks, taking another step closer. 

Squaring up to Derek’s shoulder, you’re ready to pull them apart if they get really heated. 

Wouldn’t be the first time.

In some ways, Morgan’s admission on the plane was truer than he let on. You are the link between Derek and Aaron, almost like a balm. You see things in them that they can’t see in each other. It helps. 

With a pang, you think of Haley, for some reason. 

You miss her. 

“No.” Aaron’s interruption is sharp and it startles you out of your thoughts. “I want to find him - Garcia,” he turns, continuing on his warpath forward, “he’s been off his antipsychotic for a month. What else did you miss?”

Your mouth drops open and Derek’s about to deck Aaron while his back is turned. You push in front of Derek, getting between them to give him a chance to cool off. The last thing you want is to handle more wound dressings - for either one of them. 

Aaron hangs up and walks out after what you imagine is a rather unilluminating update from Penelope. You turn, putting your hand on Derek’s shoulder and looking him in the eye. 

Still think he’s alright? His eyes ask.

 You grit your teeth. I don’t know. 

+++

The psychiatrist and patient lay dead on the floor, Call nowhere in sight. Derek directs the local officers to check the perimeter, just in case. 

You look at Hotch, who still doesn’t look completely checked in, himself. 

Or maybe he looks too checked in?

I don’t know. 

You’d be lying if you said his behavior didn’t freak you out. Though he’s standing beside you, you miss him. 

Come back to me. 

You miss the man who pliantly sat under your hands as you washed his wounds and brought him takeout and forced him to take naps in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. 

You miss the man who fought you for the remote and stole far too many of your fries, who would change the channel if you made the mistake of going to the bathroom on a commercial break. 

That man was with you as late as Saturday. Returning has brought something else out in him, the part of him that spent (often very) late nights looking for Foyet has risen to the forefront. 

“We’re too late.” 

Before the rest of you can do anything, Aaron leaves the room, pushing past Dave in his haste to leave. 

Emily calls after him, but he’s long gone down the hallway. They look at you. 

All you can do is shake your head with a downturned curve of your mouth. 

+++

After a little while, you go downstairs and find Hotch outside. Before you can say anything - 

“I should have seen the blinking on the video.” 

You huff at him. “Hotch, it could have been a nervous tic. You couldn’t have known - none of the records were available, yet.” 

“But it wasn’t a tic. It’s a classic sign of long-term antipsychotic use, and I missed it.”

You step in front of him, squarely meeting his eyes. “We all missed it.” 

He’s got another pessimistic jab that you choose to ignore just before Emily and Dave arrive with news from Garcia. 

Oh, Aaron. 

+++

The officer huffs. “I don’t care why he took him.” 

Aaron had, once again, escalated the situation with local police. Tensions are high, and you only hope he can get his shit together at some point. “You should.” 

Goddamn it, Aaron. 

He continues, advancing on the police captain. “Call’s memory is no longer suppressed. He’s reinventing his past and unless we understand how, we’re not going to find either of them.”

“Well, I’m not gonna just sit around and speculate.” 

It’s an old-fashioned Western standoff, now. 

Who’s Clint Eastwood?

Well, Hotch has the looks but -

Quit. 

Fine. 

“Then don’t.”

The captain turns to you, Emily, and Dave. “You don’t think we should chase him either?”

“We need to get ahead of Call,” Dave answers evenly. 

The captain looks at Aaron once more before storming off. The rest of you approach Hotch, and Emily’s a little frustrated when she reminds him, “There’s a kid missing.” 

“They don’t need the extra manpower.” 

You squint at him. “Since when?”

“If we had studied Foyet’s initial crimes -”

Oh for the love of fuck. 

“- we would have known that a survivor didn’t make sense.”

“What does he have to do with this?”

Great question, Emily.

“All we had to do was stop and look at Foyet’s history. But we didn’t, and we lost two couples and a bus full of people. I am not making that mistake again.” He leaves the three of you stunned in his wake. After a moment, you follow him. 

You always do. 

+++

“Let’s go.” 

You’ve got the address to the unsub’s home and you take the car with Aaron, the rest of the team following behind you. 

He drives fast, but that’s nothing new. He throws the siren and floors it. You call SWAT yourself, getting Derek prepared for staging. 

When you get out of the car, you throw your vest on, helping Emily with the straps across her shoulders before she can reach them themselves. 

“Prentiss,” Aaron says, putting his earwig in. “Check in with the lieutenant, see if there’s anything we can use.” 

She nods. “Yes, sir.” 

“You good?” You ask, looking over at him. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” 

You throw your head to the side, and he takes your flank as you get closer to Emily. Her briefing with this particular lieutenant could go sideways, but you don’t want to leave him feeling trapped. 

“...The kid’s in there. We got this. Tactical teams are covering the exits. He’s still focused on the old man.”

Emily squints, adjusting her comm. “For now, but we’re gonna have to figure out the safest way to get that kid out.”

“I’ve got a team in the back and one on the way. We’re going to infiltrate.” 

“You do that and someone else dies.” The balance of firm and collaborative rests delicately on her tone. She’s doing well. 

“Either Call or a child murder. Flip a coin.” 

His tone frustrates you, but you leave Emily to her devices, checking your magazines for the third time. Your sidearm is in place, as is your backup. 

“It doesn’t have to end like that. We get a confession out of Jarvis and he goes away, and Call gets his answers. No one else has to die.” She pauses, and a streak of white flashes in your peripheral. “Hotch!” 

You whirl, ready to sprint after him as he walks decisively past the rest of you, past the gate, and into the house. After a moment’s hesitation, you make a break for it. A wall of arms stops you, and you know Derek’s behind you when you hear, “What the hell is he doing?”

No vest...Is he even carrying his gun? 

“Let him go.” 

You turn on Dave, your face plastered with fear and fury. “What do you mean let him go. Rossi -”

“I’m not letting him go in there solo.” Derek pushes against Dave again, but to your surprise, he’s locked in tight. 

“We have to trust him.” 

That cools Derek off, but not you. You thrash, freeing yourself from one of the local cops. “The hell we do.” 

“Kid - wait, no.” The roles reverse, and Derek catches up to you and locks you in his arms before you can breach the perimeter. Your elbows don’t land against his vest, but you sure try. “You’ll get him killed.” 

There’s only stress and silence as you stop struggling. All you can do is wait. 

Derek keeps his arm around you, but you almost feel like the contact is for both of you. You take deep breaths, trying to slow your heart rate. It’s through the roof. 

“What’s he doing?” Emily asks into her mic. 

Dave leans into his comm. “Stalling.” 

You can almost feel Derek’s jaw tightening. “He has nothing to lose.” 

He has everything to lose. 

You have everything to lose. 

Don’t be a hero, Aaron. Don’t do anything stupid. 

You hope that he can hear you somehow. 

Too late. 

Hotch appears in the window, followed by the boy. 

There’s a quick SWAT conversation in your ear. 

“Do you have the shot?”

“Negative, negative.”

He’s blocking the shot. 

Goddamn you, Aaron. Goddamn you. 

“Bringing the boy out,” a faceless voice on the radio says. The hostage runs down off the porch and you catch a glimpse of Aaron before he disappears behind the door again. 

You turn your head a touch, keeping your eyes on the door. “Get him out of there.” 

Dave shakes his head. “That’s his call.” 

Your body is wound tighter than a coil and you’re not sure if you’re ready to storm in there or just start walking home. 

There’s a gunshot, and you’re out of there like a bat out of hell. You launch yourself over the short fence and attach yourself to the first SWAT agent you see, remembering your training at the last moment. 

You breach the house and find Aaron cuffing Darin, whose father is dead in the armchair in front of him. Your jaw has never been tighter. 

Once you confirm that he is in fact still alive and still only has nine holes in him, you turn on your heel and you storm out of the house. You don’t stop until you’re leaning on the front of one of the cars, trying to catch your breath. Your hands shake and you don’t trust your knees to hold you up. 

The relief wars with something hot and unpleasant, leaving you more exhausted than you’ve been in weeks. 

You keep your head turned away from Aaron as he approaches you. It’s petty, but you also don’t want him to see the fear on your face. 

He calls you with a sigh in his voice and it finally ignites the fear into anger. 

“I can’t fucking believe you,” you spit. Your voice isn’t loud, but it certainly carries. JJ’s eyes flicker to you from the other side of the yard. “What kind of stunt are you trying to pull? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” 

His jaw tightens. “Let’s not do this here.” 

Your brow draws across your eyes and your mouth opens, indignant. “Let’s not do this here? You’re fucking kidding me.”

In his current state, nothing is off the table. His temper is running short and you know you’re capable of pushing him until he breaks. It hasn’t happened yet, but today might be it.  

Much to your surprise, a sigh leaves him, and he knows he’s stepped in it. “It was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You scoff, shaking your head. 

His remorse only stokes your anger. Go figure. 

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry. You could have died, Hotch. What you did was so beyond protocol I don’t even know if I should start with the necessity of your life because we need you as our unit chief or the importance of your safety as my friend -” You cut yourself off and look away from him, frustrated you even got that far. 

He has nothing to say to that. You’re completely right. The guilt might as well be written across his face in Sharpie. 

His absence fucked with you, to say the least. It felt awful, empty, in the field without him. And then when you were home - well, back at the apartment, he was only ever in pain. 

Overall, your anxiety regarding his health and safety is riding high. 

Much to your frustration, your eyes water, and your lower lip shakes - angry tears an ever-present threat. Your arms cross over your chest. “I can’t even look at you right now.” 

He reaches out for your arm, but you throw him off before he can make contact, turning your head. You stare at the ground, watching him flounder out of the corner of your eye. 

“Go. Go do your fucking job, Hotch.” His nickname is acid in your mouth. It feels like a punishment, a lash of a whip. He doesn’t move, and you turn on him, meeting his guilty brown eyes with your flinty ones. “Go. Make the arrest. They’re waiting on you.” You throw your chin to Derek and Emily, who are indeed waiting for him on the porch with the unsub. 

With another heavy sigh, he turns and rejoins the rest of your team. 

You stay where you are, directing coroner and local law enforcement personnel to relevant staging areas as the crime scene is processed and handled. Aaron’s eyes try to find yours, but you avoid them, focusing on someone, anyone else with crisp professionalism that hardly belies your fear. 

You’ve never been so angry in your life. Even if you have, you can’t remember it feeling this wretched.

+++

He sits beside you on the plane once you’re up in the air and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. The rest of the team sleeps scattered around the cabin, but you suspect that at least one of them is faking it, waiting for some kind of spectacle or spectacular blowup between the two of you. 

You haven’t spoken to Aaron since leaving the crime scene. You drove back to the precinct with Emily and Dave, staying close to JJ and Spencer while you packed your things. There’s a part of you that feels bad for creating what Strauss would call a “hostile work environment,” but the other part can’t bring itself to care. 

You can’t even begin to articulate the fear that coursed through you as you waited for him outside that house. You couldn’t begin to explain the extent of your fear, but after the stabbing and the removal of Haley and Jack from your lives, the prospect of losing him in the field was beyond unbearable. 

It’s frustrating to feel so comforted by his proximity while you’re still so angry with him. The familiarity of it all hardly blunts your anger. If anything, the relief at having him back at your side sharpens your anger into something that scares you. 

The impossibility of it is beyond measure. You’ve known for some time now, but this is the first you’re willing to admit it. 

I love him. 

Fuck.

You love him. You love his son. You love his wife. 

You love the weird look he gets on his face when he has to say “penetration” while he’s delivering a profile. You love the way he tries not to smile when Emily beats Spencer at chess. You love the way he twiddles with pens when he’s thinking or nervous or both. You love that each of his smiles feel like a gift just for you. 

There’s nothing you don’t love about him. 

Except, of course, the way he, with profound idiocy, endangered his life today for no particular reason in addition to his generally asshole-ish behavior. 

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m sure you know that.” 

You do.

He waits on you, quiet and still. 

You take a deep breath, finally looking at him. “You scared the hell out of me.” 

He nods, his jaw flexing. 

“Don’t do it again.” 

He blinks once, slowly. You know he can’t promise that, but you appreciate his acknowledgment nevertheless. There’s quiet for a moment. 

“Aaron…” You look at him, nothing but concern in your tone. 

He shakes his head. “Don’t.”

“I was just going to say…” You swallow, trying to find better words but coming up short. “We’ll get him.”

+++

Derek’s voice echoes down to the bullpen as you finish up the last few pieces of your paperwork. “I will not stand by and watch this man kill himself.” 

Aaron’s door is closed as he works. You’re not sure if you’re thankful for that, or if you’d rather he hear it. You can’t really hear Dave - not that you’d want to, you’re almost as pissed at him as you are at Aaron - but it doesn’t matter. You know what he has to say. 

Derek’s voice drops lower than you can hear. Dave drops his head. 

Moments later, Derek flies back down the stairs, grabs his jacket, and takes his leave with a cursory goodbye thrown in your direction. Dave returns to his desk and Aaron’s door finally opens. 

You look up as his lights turn off, gathering your things at your desk. With a little sigh that looks a bit like defeat, he stops at your desk. The smugness doesn’t completely leave your tone. “Need a ride?”

Of course, he does. “Please.” 

You rise and walk to the elevators together. In the silence, you tell him, “I’m still really mad at you.” 

A sigh. “I know.” 

+++

You walk him upstairs and take care of the alarm while he removes his suit jacket and throws it over the couch. 

“Do you think Call’s gonna be okay?” You ask, still facing the alarm. 

“I don’t know.”

“He got his answers,” you note, turning to him. “He killed the man who haunted him.” 

His eyes are fixed on a spot on the carpet. “And what else is there?”

“Years of torture.” You both know you’re not talking about Call anymore, but it’s nice to pretend. It gives you the opportunity to say things you wouldn’t - shouldn’t - say to him. “Fear. Grief.”

“Think he’ll get over that?” 

“How could he?” A humorless smile pulls at one corner of your mouth. “But at least he doesn't feel like he’s alone.”

He finally meets your eyes. “He doesn’t have anyone.” I don’t have anyone, his brow says. 

“He has Tommy. He’s not alone.” 

You have me. You’re not alone. 

His brows pull low over his eyes, and you take another opportunity as it comes. “Do you want me to stay again tonight?”

“No, I’m alright.” He takes a little breath and you round the corner, pouring him a couple fingers of whiskey before making a slow, purposeful trek across the room. “Thank you,” he says, taking it. 

“Of course. Anytime.” Now, you both know you aren’t talking about the drink. 

Nevertheless, you pat your pockets for your keys, phone, and various federal paraphernalia, finding them all where they belong. “I should head out, then. Call if you need anything.” 

He nods, watching you with quiet eyes as you close and lock the door behind you. 

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @sageellsworth05​ @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans

[agustdef]

XX

Pairing: Johnny Suh x Reader x Min Yoongi

Genre: Angst; Fluff; Friends to Lovers; Coworkers to Lovers

Word Count: 16.1K

Warning: Language; Past Infidelity (not by anyone in the pairing); Mild mention of not great mental health; Implied Smut at the end. 

Rating: PG15

My Weird and Mildly Chaotic Banner Maker: @dee-ehn​

My Lovely Dweeb Beta Reader: @guktro​

A/N: This fic was crafted for the DramaVers collab hosted by the ever so lovely (never tell her I called her that) @namluve​. My fic is based off the K-Drama/Web Drama, XX, which you can watch here if you feel so inclined. Would recommend. (Psst... it’s only 5 episodes all under an hour long.)

Summary: When you work your whole life to reach your dreams of owning a bar you hope that having that dream ripped from under you without notice isn’t a part of life’s plan. And you definitely don’t imagine that it comes with suddenly being business partners with your ex-best friend. But life doesn’t work in the way we want it. At the end of the day you try to focus on the things that make life better, until the two men in your life who hold your heart (something you didn’t think possible) meet and hit if off so well that you’re sure your life is moments from collapsing completely.

The entire time Hyuk spoke YN sat there feeling like she couldn’t process his words. She heard all of it and took it in, but she was stuck on what he’d said when she’d walked into their bar to do inventory on the one day they were closed. Hyuk wasn’t supposed to be there, so it shocked her to see him pacing about but then he blurted something out and she’d never had the chance to exit her shocked state.

“YN, did you hear me?” he asked.

She wasn’t completely pulled from the surreal feeling she experienced, but enough of her became present enough to look at him and nod. Of course, she wanted to retreat into thoughts that said it was all a dream when she saw the pity in his eyes.

“I really am sorry, YN. I had to sell it and I know I said I’d give you a heads up if I ever wanted or needed to give my share up, but it couldn’t be helped. It was the only way to get my father to give into appointing me a position on his board before he found someone else. But I found someone who's done well with other bars and she’s just trying to expand her portfolio, so I’m sure she’ll sell you her half when all is said and done,” Hyuk reassured.

None of his words helped her feel good about it though, if anything she felt worse after hearing him. It became more real as he explained things to her for the third time that night. Her dream of the bar being hers had been so close, she’d almost had all the money to buy him out and it all came crashing down.

To think her phone calendar had a day three months in the future as the day she’d succeed. For a moment all she could think about was deleting it, so instead of responding she pulled out her phone and did just that.

“What are you-” he started, until he noticed what she did.

“YN, I-”

Her standing abruptly was what cut him off the next time; plus startled him to the point where he almost slid from his bar stool. His klutzy actions usually brought her some joy no matter how brief, but nothing in her could muster up any positive emotions.

After she took a deep breath she stared at him with a neutral expression and spoke. “You can put everything I need to know in the office for me to check in the morning. Anything else can be sent to me via email. That includes the new co-owners contact information so that I can set up a meeting with them so we can discuss things. If I need something you didn’t give I will contact you. I hope everything works out just the way you want it, Hyuk. I’m leaving now, lock up behind yourself and mail me the keys.”

With that she turned on her heel and walked out of the door, she needed to put some distance between her and him. As well as her and the bar. Not even Hyuk calling out for her stopped her from leaving, nothing he had to say was something she needed to hear. At least not while her world crumbled before her eyes.

From there she went home. The process was a blur as she relied on muscle memory to get her on public transportation and then walk the rest of the way. By the time she came to she was inside and knocking on the door to her roommate’s bedroom.

“YN, I thought you wouldn’t be back until three,” Johnny said as he opened the door, voice laced with sleep.

However, his inquiry seemed to no longer matter as he took YN in. She’d stopped holding it all in and her body slouched, shaking slightly as the tears poured down her face. Every second or so she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out until the sob finally released itself.

Johnny had her in his arms instantly. Not a word was uttered as he used one hand to press her face close to his chest and the other to rub slow circles into her back. And even when she calmed enough to speak, he merely shushed her and pulled her into his room. She wasn’t allowed to say a word until she was dressed in one of his too big t-shirts and they were cuddled in his bed.

She appreciated it too, because even though she’d been ready to talk her mind needed time to collect itself before she blurted out nonsense.

“Hyuk sold his share of the bar to someone else. Needed to let it go for his dad to give him some position at his company or some shit,” she whispered.

She felt Johnny’s body stiffen as she finished and then felt him take several deep breaths as she felt his heart speed up. He wasn’t a person quick to anger, but in certain situations he just couldn’t stop how quickly it came to head. Especially when he was proven right in a way he wished he wasn’t.

Minutes ticked by as he did his deep breathing and YN expected him to blow up or point out how he’d warned her, but nothing came.

“No, I told you so?” she asked.

That got a laugh out of him, though it was bitter.

“You know I won’t. This isn’t like when you bust your ass trying to get down from a table while drunk. This is your dreams being tampered with by a prick who couldn’t even show his dad he was responsible by co-owning a successful bar, but still managed to get what he wanted at your expense.”

Displeasure coated his every word and though it should’ve made her sad to think of her former co-owner and his shitty behavior she couldn’t help but laugh. It was because as he spoke she remembered all the times Johnny had snubbed or called the man out on his bare minimum rich kid behavior to his face. Johnny had never liked him and it was always clear to everyone, so he never missed a chance to be petty.

Sadly, that amusement went as quick as it came.

YN sighed. “Well, it is what it is now. Can’t change what’s already done. At least he said they only want to own it temporarily to pad their portfolio or some shit.”

In an instant, Johnny pulled back and looked at her with wide eyes.

“So, there’s still a chance?”

Though the hope in his voice boosted hers, she couldn’t get herself to give in. So instead of being as enthusiastic, she nodded.

Johnny’s eyes narrowed at that. “I will allow your non-excitement to slide because you are in shock and hurt, but you’re not going to go back to thinking this is a pipe dream. You can and will get the bar all to yourself. And let’s not forget you’re close to saving enough to start your own elsewhere if it falls through. And before you say it, I know this is your dream place in your dream location, but remember you had another dream location before this.”

Naturally, her best friend didn’t even allow her to voice her negative thoughts, something she was grateful for in that moment. She’d had a rant about how she should give up and all kinds of downer nonsense ready to spill out before he’d called her on her bullshit.

Another sigh escaped her and she nodded before laying her head on his chest again.

“Are you opening today?” she asked.

“No. After the bridal party, who wanted to drink and make perfume all night, I needed a break. And because they went well over their time I got paid double so I could miss three days and still not feel the loss.”

“Then can we stay in bed all day?” she asked.

“Sure, we can order something and watch TV. But can we sleep first, you woke me up too early,” he whined.

It was noon.

YN shrugged. “Fine with me, but I need to go get a bon-”

Before she could finish that sentence a dark purple bonnet was shoved in her face and she barely grabbed it before a thought came to her.

“You did steal it!”

“No, you left it in here after you took down your braids that one day. I found it somewhere in my dirty laundry. I for one don’t need a bonnet and for two, after the time I borrowed your SPF lotion and you nearly murdered me I learned my lesson,” Johnny said.

“You almost made me go outside ashy. My skin was being uneven with its six shades of brown instead of one, I didn’t need it to be dry too.”

He rolled his eyes at that but adjusted them a little so he could press a kiss to her forehead and then got comfortable.

“Yes, yes I know. Now put it on and go to sleep,” he said.

Part of her wanted to say something more, but she simply slid the bonnet over her hair, which was twisted, and laid down.

As her eyes closed her brain drifted to the horror of her morning, but she fought it off and tried to focus on the positive. Johnny was right; she had options, which didn’t leave her at a complete loss no matter how things went and that was a good thing.

Plus, she had Johnny by her side, even if it wasn’t always in the way she wanted. That thought brought a twinge to her heart, but she cuddled closer and reminded herself that moments like that were enough.

“He just dropped it all on you at once? I knew he was a self-centered prick, but damn,” Yoongi commented.

YN had relayed what happened to her main bartender when they’d both come in to prep the bar before it opened. She planned to keep it from him until she met her new co-owner, but he saw through her the moment she walked in that afternoon. Fighting him was futile, something she learned within the first six months of him working there, so she just spilled everything as she wiped down the bar stools.

“Yup. No warning at all, just told me with everything done before I could object. Something about thinking just being straightforward would lessen the blow. Since I prefer bluntness and all that,” she mumbled.

Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed Yoongi pause as he wiped down the counter and turn to look at her fully.

“Does that dumbass still not know what the word blunt means? Because it’s sure as fuck not screw over your business partner and the only person who kept a business afloat while he cried to daddy about not getting the position he wanted because he’s a failure. Fucking weirdo,” Yoongi shouted.

Though it wasn't really funny YN couldn't help but throw her head back in laughter, pausing in her cleaning as it coursed through her. She couldn't even stop the tears that came along with it.

When she finally pulled it together Yoongi was cleaning again, but the smile he wore showed he was happy with his handy work. And YN was thankful for it. He always knew just what to say to make her laugh when she needed it, even if the joy only lasted for a few seconds. It was one of the things that drew her into him as they got to know each other. Past his introverted defense mechanisms was a sweet man who often just did his best to help wherever he could.

The only person keeping her sane most days.

“Well, yeah he is a dumbass I will finally and fully admit it. But, he was a dumbass keeping me from having to put off certain things to keep this place moving forward, so for a time he was worth something. Now he’s just a fucking headache fucking up my plans.”

Silence filled the room after that as they finished sanitizing everything and got the bar set up for patrons. They were ready an hour in advance, which wasn’t something they usually did with YN preferring it to be only thirty minutes before the last thing was finished, but she didn’t want them working as she met the new co-owner.

There was nothing in her that wanted to impress them, but she preferred all the things be in tip top shape and nothing left to worry over as she handled something so stressful. It shouldn't have felt like that, but meeting someone she didn’t know and didn’t choose in a bar they would both own wasn’t fun. Especially when she thought about other people who’d come in before wanting to be her business partner but wanted everything changed. Something that wouldn’t happen.

“You can take a break and go out if you want. I can meet them alone,” she said as she checked one of the mini fridges under the bar one last time.

She expected Yoongi to say he’d go grab coffee from his favorite place to give him that final boost to keep on his customer service voice all shift, but he shook his head no. He grabbed a bottle of water and sat down at one of the tables farther into the bar. It confused YN and she planned to say something, but then the sound of a door opening caught her attention.

They both turned their attention to the intruder and YN immediately felt like the wind was knocked out of her.

In the door of her bar stood Chae Hyungwon, her ex-best friend.

Thankfully, he appeared just as shocked as she was, though he tried his best to pull it together. His usual fake confident smirk made an appearance and his gaze shifted from her to the space around them. His head nodded every so often and soft sounds of approval slipped from his lips as he did.

YN knew it was him avoiding her gaze to prepare whatever non-caring act he planned to put on with her, but that didn’t ease her at all.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

After several seconds of blatantly ignoring her Hyungwon responded.

“Is that any way to speak to your new boss?” he asked.

Shock wasn’t the word that YN used to describe how hearing those words felt, mostly because it wasn’t what coursed through her. It was more like amusement at being some sort of joke to the universe. Amusement and immense sadness.

“Co-owner. You are my co-owner. And let’s not forget that I own most of it,” YN said.

Hyungwon’s eyes went wide. “You’re the co-owner?”

That was a small win for her.

“Ah, so Hyuk didn’t just decide to withhold information from me. At least he’s a consistent idiot,” she said.

There was a beat of silence before YN pulled herself together and decided that she would unleash her feelings later and handle her predicament in that moment.

“So, shall we sit and talk?” she asked.

Hyungwon stared at her for a moment before nodding. At that YN motioned towards a table she’d set up for them and went to sit down. She waited a moment for him to settle in before pushing a folder across the table. And though clearly confused he took it and flipped through the contents.

He scoffed. “What is this, a college orientation? Am I to read and sign all of these, then be punished if I fail to do them or disregard them?”

“Yes.”

That startled him, but YN didn’t give him time to recover.

“That contains all the information that you need to know about this business. How it is currently run, it’s vendors, it’s monthly costs, the excel sheets we use to track information so that we can make small changes here and there to stay on top of how to best run things. And as you saw on top, explains the rules that I’ve laid out for you as co-owner. They are the same for anyone who wants to take on that role and besides small adjustments have remained the same throughout my use of them. They are not fYNible. With a compelling argument I may be willing to bend something but the odds are virtually nonexistent. They must be understood and abided by and any of them that are major violations will be cause for termination of your co-ownership, without a mandatory buyout from me. Which is something that was in the contract that Hyuk gave you, so you’ve already agreed.”

“That’s not allowed. I saw it, but it didn’t go into-”

YN laughed. “You signed a contract without meeting with the other co-owner, the person who owns fifty-five percent of this bar. Thus, not allowing yourself the chance to get all the information. Which means you forfeit the right to suddenly demand a change on something you agreed to blindly. My rules are not outlandish, they are just specific and demand that you are serious or at the very least don’t get in my way.”

Laughter escaped Hyungwon, but it clearly held no humor. For a moment he looked prepared to argue or leave, but he simply reopened the folder and read over the first few sheets. Though there were a few sounds that were akin to disapproval that wasn’t what reflected on his face when he glanced up several minutes later. It was more so a look of mild amazement.

“This keeps anyone who buys in from doing anything slightly shady behind your back or straight up dumb without mutual decision. It’s ironclad, makes sense not to put it directly into the contract since you’re opposed to negotiating that part,” he said.

Part of her felt proud, though it was solely because she knew she’d done things well in that respect. But the other part of her was displeased that the pride appeared from hearing a form of praise from Hyungwon, even if it wasn’t directly from impressing him.

Naturally, he couldn’t leave it on a positive note though.

“Too bad you didn’t come up with one where it stopped him from fucking you over,” Hyungwon mumbled.

“Yeah, so sad, if only we could make those kinds of things for everyone we encounter. Though I guess something for me to hold people accountable for fucking me over wouldn’t be something you’d be personally interested in. Could be used against you,” YN said without missing a beat.

Hyungwon’s face went red after that and she could see a flurry of emotions playing out on his face but could pick up on none. Not that, that lessened her amusement at all. She’d gotten a reaction out of him and it was childish, but felt wonderful nonetheless.

“Is there anything else you need to show me?” Hyungwon finally asked after a minute.

YN nodded and stood from her seat.

“I can show you around the place and explain how things run. However, I ask that you hold all questions until you have absorbed all the information, I don’t mind if you use your phone or something to write things down as I talk. But if you think it’s important to know please stop me and ask.”

All she got was a nod before she led him around the space. She showed him the back rooms, including the office, and explained how things worked schedule wise with everything. Then she brought him back out front and pointed out things behind the bar to get him acquainted with how things worked. Then she led him through the space and showed him the balcony that gave the best access to their view of a skyline and water off in the distance. Once finished she brought him back inside and was about to wrap it up, but then he spoke.

“How many employees are there?” he asked.

“Including myself seven. With the way we currently operate, more aren’t needed, but there is still a chance we could hire a few more.”

Hyungwon nodded. “And I’m guessing he’s one.”

That was the first time YN glanced Yoongi’s way since Hyungwon appeared and she turned to see the male drinking his water and scrolling through his phone.

“Yes, Yoongi has been here almost a year now.”

At the sound of his name Yoongi looked up and while he didn’t seem particularly fond when he glanced Hyungwon’s way he did offer YN a smile, one she returned happily.

After that her attention moved back to Hyungwon who glanced between the two of them and looked prepared to say something but didn’t.

“Well, is there anything else you need or would like to see? We open pretty soon so we’re running low on time,” YN said.

Seconds ticked by as she watched Hyungwon stare at her but seem off in his own little world. It was something that was the norm for when he debated on what to say or do so it wasn’t surprising, but it made her uncomfortable.

“Hyungwon,” she called out.

He snapped out of it and cleared his throat. “No. I’m good. I’ll just sit off in one of the back corners for a while to watch how things go and then leave.”

A nod and then YN left him to do what he wanted. The two waitresses for the night arrived just then and everyone got their behinds into gear. Then minutes later their customers began filing in.

Though YN’s mind reeled from what happened she didn’t get the chance to linger on it, because work became the focus quickly. She enjoyed bartending so she did that alongside Yoongi and though the place wasn’t packed, people tended to order drinks rapidly. And since their bar had made its name for mixed and signature drinks it wasn’t just rounds of shots. They needed to mix drinks and do it right, half-assing it to get it out quickly wasn't something they did. Especially since part of the draw for some, besides the drinks, was watching them being made. They enjoyed some sort of show with it, though neither YN nor Yoongi went all out to impress, just did what they needed to with focus and a slight flourish.

So, by the time she caught her breath and wasn’t focusing on anything work related and glanced up to find Hyungwon she noticed his former spot taken up by someone else. He was nowhere she could see, so she assumed he left and felt herself sigh in relief. It didn’t clear the chaos she kept at bay in her mind, but helped it settle some.

However, she again didn’t get time to linger on it because they’d done the last call and an influx of orders came on. She and Yoongi worked to get them out and were thankful when people began to leave, some stumbling to the exit with the help of security.

From there everyone immediately began working on their sections to clean and an hour and a half later they were all on their way out the building. YN saw off her waitresses and security then prepared to say her goodbyes to Yoongi only for him to be giving her a look she saw when he’d offer to join her on the way home and she’d deny.

Which meant that fighting him on it would’ve been useless, so she just began walking towards the train station.

For several minutes they did so in silence and though YN seemed calm it was clear that she was fighting something off. Something she didn’t want to talk about or at least that’s what she told herself until Yoongi spoke up.

“You can scream if you want,” he said.

That made her pause and then laugh loudly. It brought on looks from the few people lingering about late at night, but she didn’t care at all. One would’ve thought she was laughing at the idea of screaming to release her feelings, but it was more so that screaming is what Johnny had her do when the incident happened years before. He got her drunk, took her to the top of a building and they screamed until she was a laughing mess on the ground. He’d had to carry her home after.

“I wish that was the fix for this. Hell, I wish I didn’t have such a strong reaction to him after all this time.”

Again, silence filled the space as they began walking away and neither of them spoke again until they were seated in a half-deserted train car. Yoongi took that as the perfect moment to bump her shoulder to get her attention and it worked.

“You could tell me about it. You don’t have to of course, but it could help the feelings a bit,” he offered.

At that YN sighed and her eyes closed. A lot of her screamed to let it die so she didn’t have to deal with the emotions again, but a smaller voice reminded her that the feelings would always be there and she probably only felt so intensely because she’d been forced to endure them in front of someone who didn’t know what happened. If it had been Johnny or her by herself she’d be better about it. And she had to remind herself she trusted Yoongi a whole lot, so telling him wasn’t the end of the world by any means.

Once she’d made peace with her choice her eyes opened and she turned so her back leaned against the small wall blocking her seat from the door. She knew that if she told him it had to be while looking at him.

“As you may know I have an ex that Johnny loathes with his entire being. I’m sure you remember that drunk rant that he gave the first month of you working there,” she paused to see his response and once he nodded she continued. “Well, I know he went on and on about planning to beat up all the people who’d ever hurt me, so there were a lot on that list. Anyway, he got to talking about an old friend before he ran to the bathroom to throw up. That friend was Hyungwon or my new co-owner, I don’t think I told you his name. But yeah, he was my best friend. Like that friend I made the moment I came to orientation and looked every bit of the confused foreigner I was. We clicked and he felt like the best friend I’d made in my entire life. Even helped me figure out how to work up the nerve to talk to my ex to ask him out.”

YN sighed and used her hand to push back a few loose curls that had slipped from her bun. The voice telling her to shut up got louder and she knew if she wanted to stop she could, but something about the attentive look on Yoongi’s face stopped her.

“In our senior year things were beyond stressful. He was dealing with family business stuff and his father has always been a difficult man. While I was dealing with trying to find a job so I could keep a visa and stay in the country, while also trying to graduate. We barely saw each other and I barely saw my boyfriend either despite usually sleeping at his every night. I decided to change that one night, I messaged Hyungwon to schedule a hang out and he agreed. Then I grabbed some food and snacks and headed to my boyfriend’s. I was at most an hour earlier than when I said I’d be coming, something not out of the norm for me and it wasn’t like he didn’t know.

“It was so quiet that I assumed he was asleep. I made sure to keep quiet as I settled in and then creeped towards the bedroom. However, I didn’t make it there, because while a few feet away the door swung open and I was met with him in his boxers and a disheveled Hyungwon. They didn’t notice me right away or at least I like to think so since they started making out and didn’t stop until I cleared my throat. The expressions of shock at that point are barely a memory because I’d started to tear up and just turn and left. They both attempted to reach out, but obviously I shut them down.”

After she finished Yoongi’s expression shifted to shock and then anger.

“And yet he acted like he was superior and has nothing to be sorry for when he came in today. What kind of bullshit is that? He should at least appear apologetic,” he said.

YN went to answer, but they were at her stop so she waited until they were off the train and up the steps.

“Hyungwon’s default expression is resting bitch face, especially when trying to hide some sort of emotion behind it. And he will lay it on thick. But he also is likely to force that and a haughty demeanor because he just does. It’s a defense mechanism, especially when he feels wronged in some way. He turned it on me a week after it was clear I wasn’t forgiving him. He’d prefer to be the one who is uncaring, then to endure too much emotion. No matter if he’s the cause of it.”

“What kind of fucked up shit is that? He messed up, not you. You had every right to refuse to deal with him or forgive him,” Yoongi said.

YN shrugged. “To a degree it’s a defense mechanism that I understand even if I don’t agree, but sometimes it does make him more of a douche than he’s going for. But it is what it is.”

They walked the short distance to her apartment in silence and YN couldn’t help but realize how much better she felt. It didn’t fix everything, but it helped more than she thought it would. Johnny usually was the one to get her calm enough to process the rest and she knew that once she told him the news he’d help her overcome the lingering emotions more, but with the chance to vent to the two people she trusted the most it was different.

Once they reached her apartment she turned and pulled Yoongi into a hug. He went stiff for a second before he hugged her back.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“No problem,” he said in return.

She held him for a few seconds longer after that and then let go, gently nudged him towards the cab that pulled up at the most convenient time out of nowhere. Or at least she tried to pretend she didn’t order it when he wasn’t paying attention, but just like every other time she did it he saw through her.

They waved at each other and she went inside once the cab pulled off. On the elevator up she couldn’t stop the smile on her lips. Her brain had halted its existential crisis and focused on the memory of Yoongi’s own smile as the car departed. It was beyond cute and she’d told him that when she’d first saw him do it, but what she felt in the elevator was different. There was an all-consuming happiness and a weird feeling in her stomach as she thought of it then.

The smile didn’t leave until she was sitting at the table with Johnny eating fried chicken too late at night and telling him what happened. He ranted and raved, even made a few threats, which brought the feeling back again, but that time directed at her roommate.

Weeks passed, and though YN hated the arrangement for multiple reasons she got used to it. Hyungwon didn’t try to implement any major changes and most of what he did was stuff she’d planned to do months later when they had more than enough funds for it.

Though there was one thing she’d agreed to that came with some regret. Or at least regret is what filled her as she had to endure a couple who didn’t understand distance and chose to sit at the bar.

The moment they strolled in, clinging to each other, they’d made a beeline for her side of the bar and told her how they’d seen the bar mentioned on the account of some popular new actor and then promptly shoved a phone in her face to show her. All it took was a single glance to know that she’d never seen that man in the bar before and the picture had been taken around a time they weren’t open. He was sitting on the bar’s balcony with a drink in hand and you could see people enjoying themselves behind him, but they appeared to focus on appearing in the right angle of the picture for it not to be fully staged. Which meant it was Hyungwon’s doing.

YN agreed to allow him to expand social media reach because though she did it, sometimes it wasn’t the best that it could be. However, their definitions of expansion differed and about four celebrities that had never been there had posted about having such a good time at that bar. Something that brought in business, but also forced YN and her staff to lie when asked by customers. And customers asked a whole lot when they came in, needing every detail down to what the celeb smelled like.

It was annoying but arguing about it with Hyungwon ended up with her just conceding in annoyance every time. Despite the nuisance of it, she truly didn’t have it in her to keep the back and forth with him on the subject. Doing it just didn’t prove to be worth it.

So, she and everyone endured the nonsense. Though as she watched the couple get increasingly touchier she almost stormed off into the back office to put a stop to it once and for all. In fact, she’d turned to tell Yoongi that she was going to step away but was distracted in a second.

“YN!” Johnny shouted as he approached the bar.

From the moment she laid her eyes on her best friend she noticed the offness. The giant stumbled a little while he walked and there was a slur to his words. His clothing was also a little less put together than usual and though not noticeable to most people it’s something she picked up on after years of enduring his quirks.

“Johnny, I thought you had a date,” she said.

That immediately made him frown at her. Of course, she guessed how well that had gone, but she knew that he preferred to explain to her about how bad it was, so she got the true dramatic effect. So instead of saying anything she allowed him to take up a seat at the bar and got him the coldest bottle of his favorite beer that she had. He took it happily and downed half of it before he began his story.

“She wanted me to be a third in her relationship. Brought the boyfriend and everything. Which we all know I’m fine with and my dating profile says that, but you warn a person beforehand. She said she was single and then boom, boyfriend suddenly.”

He paused and downed the rest of the bottle, which was quickly replaced with another by Yoongi who happened to be moving by. Johnny gave him a grateful nod and picked it up, but just held it.

“And that would also not be the worst thing in the world, but then the entire time the guy kept sizing me up and then asking the most sexually invasive questions. At one point he asked me how big my dick was and seemed ready to whip his out so that we could compare them. I had to drink to get through the entire thing and sped out of there the moment the bill for dinner was paid. Blocked her dating account, her social media, and number on the way here. Then had to block his number, because apparently blocking her wasn’t enough of a hint for them,” he said.

YN winced hearing that part, because she couldn’t imagine enduring something so awkward and then creepy as that. Nor could she imagine not understanding when someone wasn’t interested after such intensive blocking.

Pathetic was the word that came to mind.

“Well, I’m glad you escaped them. You get to drink that one and one more, then you switch to water. Also go back and heat up my lunch or have someone grab it for you, you need something else in you and I didn’t get around to eating it myself,” YN said.

That changed Johnny’s demeanor in an instant and he glared at her, but before he could scold her about not eating properly Hyungwon appeared.

“YN, if you’re not busy up here can you come back into the office to help me with something? It’ll only be a few minutes, I want to know I’m doing this right,” he said.

Johnny’s glare shifted from her to Hyungwon, but neither of them paid him any mind.

“Sure, I’ll be back there in a sec,” she said.

Hyungwon nodded and disappeared again. And though it was clear that Johnny had something to say YN ignored him, turning to tell Yoongi only to get shooed away before she could open her mouth. She shot him a quick thumbs up and then hustled back to the office.

“What’s up?” she asked as she closed the door behind her.

The moment Hyungwon had her close enough he pointed to the screen of their computer and started to explain how he’d tried to do something in the excel sheet for the month’s vendor expenses but something went wrong. He walked her through the whole process before she stepped in to show him what he’d done wrong for it to not to work. And then they went over some of the other sheets to ensure they were right, as well as some of the vendor request forms that needed to get done by that time the following week.

It was an easy conversation and though weeks before YN thought she’d still be awkward and apprehensive; she’d managed to find a good groove in dealing with Hyungwon as a business partner and ignoring the pain from the past. He was someone who put himself fully into his work, so it wasn’t hard to mesh with him on the subject. In fact, he got more work down in the weeks he’d been on board than Hyuk in the years he was YN’s partner. She never minded doing all of the work before, but she also would never deny that having some of the weight off her was refreshing. Even in situations where she had to double check and teach Hyungwon the ropes a few times.

When they were done she stood from her seat and stretched, her eyes meeting the clock to see she’d been back there for almost an hour.

“Is there anything else you need?” she asked.

Though Hyungwon shook his head at first, he stilled for a moment and then whipped around to look at her. The expression on his face startled her with its seriousness, his eyebrows furrowed and the frown on his lips was intense. There was also a glint in his eyes that she recalled from when he found out some not happy news and a part of her worried greatly about what he’d say.

“Actually. I would like to apologize,” he said.

That confused YN for a second because she’d still be in work mode, until she saw the way his body sagged and then it clicked in her head. Her hands went up in defense as she shook her head rapidly.

“You don-”

“Please let me talk?”

And though her whole body screamed to not let him continue she couldn’t find it in her to not let him get whatever it was off his chest. So, she took a deep breath and nodded so that he’d continue, she didn’t trust herself to say the right thing.

“I know I apologized then and I meant it, even if I did the thing where I pretended like it wasn’t my fault and that you should’ve forgiven me. I fucked up on so many levels and I didn’t mean to. I need you to know that it was never my intention, I just… I don’t know how to explain it. That night is a weird blur of sadness, drinking, and feeling someone wanted to be in my presence and cared about my feelings. I gave in for stupid and selfish reasons. He told me you’d broken up over a week before, but even then it wasn’t an okay thing to do. I know that. I knew when I agreed. I knew when it happened. And I knew the entire time after.

“I have no valid excuse for my betraying you like that. I just want you to know that I’m sorry. And I’m even more sorry that I’m messing with your dream. It wasn’t my intention at all. I swear to you I didn’t know you were the co-owner when the contract was signed. And I’d planned to back out after I found out, but it was too early in the contract for me to be able to sell it to you and I would’ve had to sell it back to him. And I’ve worked with Hyuk before, he will continue to fuck things up. And I guess I’m using a lot of words to say I’m sorry and I’m rambling, so again I’m truly sorry.”

By the end of his tangent YN was left confused and unsure. She could see the sincerity, something he’d never been able to fake, and she knew he felt sorry for his actions when it happened, but she didn’t know how to respond. There was nothing in her head that felt like an accurate response to what he’d said. Especially the apologies, because she’d forgiven him a year after the incident. Not in a whole ceremonious way of letting it go to move on, but she realized she moved one already. The hurt wasn’t gone and she knew if she saw him her reaction would not be positive, but she knew that if she did see him and he spoke to her she’d probably be willing to talk it through with him. Hell, she’d thought about it for half a second when he first stepped foot into the bar, but he’d chosen the snooty demeanor and she’d thrown it away in an instant.

All of that uncertainty must have been clear to Hyungwon, thankfully, because he cleared his throat to regain her attention and then smiled at her. A real smile. The first smile she’d seen on his face since the first time she’d seen him again.

“You don’t have to say anything right now. You don’t have to say anything ever really. We can act like I didn’t say anything at all and keep going how we’re going. I just wanted you to know that,” he said.

YN’s mind scrambled to find a response after that because it didn’t want to have said nothing, but she ended up nodding and walking out without saying a word. She’d made sure to keep her expression light and offered a small smile before she turned away so he didn’t think she was running from him or hated him.

With her mind going a mile a minute she stepped into the staff bathroom to use it and run a cold, wet paper towel across the back of her neck to help calm her down. When she got worked up she got hot and needed to be brought down before it spiraled. It only took five minutes before she felt ready to head back out to the bar, though she wasn’t completely herself as she went.

A large part of her wanted to go back and yell at Hyungwon and then have a heart to heart, but she willed herself to keep moving forward.

However, when she reached the end of the hall she wished she’d done that. People seated at the bar had left and moved elsewhere, which made it easy for her to spot Johnny nursing a glass of water. He looked ready to drink it, but something else had his attention. Someone else.

Yoongi was standing directly in front of him, body bent over so that his arms rested on the bar between them. He wore a wide smile and reached over to poke Johnny’s cheek as they laughed together.

They were so close to each other and so comfortable, that it was almost romantic. Then with bated breath YN watched as Johnny ran his hand through his hair and winked at Yoongi, something he only ever did when he was flirting. A quirk that she’d pointed out to him once that he’d never noticed he did. But that wasn’t what made her stomach churn, it was the light blush that coated Yoongi’s cheeks as he punched Johnny’s arm.

Both men were flirting with each other and by their expressions it was far from the playful kind they’d done once when some girl kept hitting on Yoongi and wouldn’t understand no until Johnny stepped in as his “boyfriend.” Oh no, their flirting was real and natural.

And YN didn’t know which one it hurt more seeing do it.

At least once a month there was an event held at the bar and so YN wouldn’t open it to the general public. And by some miracle one fell on a Sunday and was during midafternoon, which meant she didn’t have work the next day and they wouldn’t be open late into the night. Both things were something she needed after over a week of feeling at her lowest.

The down feeling wasn’t new by any means, but it didn’t make it easier. Nor did her avoidance of Johnny, who usually knew the right things to say to get her out of a funk.

It was a consequence of her avoiding her roommate.

After she’d seen his interactions with Yoongi at the club she’d gotten over things pretty quickly, but they didn’t stop there. Though both males had talked before their communication ramped up. They were texting often and sometimes even video chatting. Along with that came an increase of them hanging out. On one free day YN had swung by to bring Johnny food at his shop, but when she appeared Yoongi was already there and they were eating. Of course, they invited her to join and she did, but it hadn’t been fun for her. Which was how she described all her hang outs with them. It was the constant third wheel kind of feeling and seeing as she had no time to adjust to her realization of feelings for both of them, she definitely didn’t have time to adjust to them possibly getting together.

All of it was too much at once and only aided along the low she felt. Which meant she turned to avoiding them when she could. Some things were changing for the club and that meant she had a built-in excuse to be busy. That coupled with her clearly being down meant that they left her be when she said she wanted to venture out alone or with other friends. And they definitely didn’t stop her if she just said she wanted to lay in bed all day and be left alone. She’d ensured that she did it a normal amount so not to alarm them and it worked for her.

Well, only worked in the matters of not being forced to third wheel. Though the times they hung out in the apartment while she locked herself in her room didn’t do much for her whole, dealing with feelings plan.

Not that she dealt with them well when not around them.

However, the day of the event she saw the light at the end of the tunnel for her funk. YN woke up feeling on top of the world and everything ran so smoothly from then on. They’d set up, received the guests, and kept the event running without incident. Minus the very drunk man who got weirdly passionate about telling the story about how the wine he was drinking was made and then proceeded to spill it.

Hell, even seeing how Hyungwon and his boyfriend mingled without issue brought her some sort of joy. And that joy was how her brain drowned out the voice that told her that Hyungwon’s boyfriend seemed familiar and not in the good way. Something that would have persisted if not for Johnny having approached her.

“Isn’t that the guy who showed up to that weeklong dating event with a different person each time?” he asked YN.

That was all it took for her brain to kick into gear and her head whipped over to look where Hyungwon stood with him. It took a single second to see his face and then recall all the times he’d come in with people and sometimes left with someone else. Or at the very least flirted with others, slipping people, including YN, his number while his date was preoccupied. He’d made her uncomfortable.

Those things weren’t cool and alone were enough to alarm YN, but that wasn’t the issue she found herself focused on when she stared him down. No, the problem was that when Hyungwon had appeared at the bar and introduced his boyfriend he’d spoken of how they’d been together for almost two years. That series of events had happened only two months before he became her co-owner. Meaning the man was a worse cheater than she’d thought he was.

“Oh, fuck me,” she groaned.

“Yeah,” Johnny said.

Though YN avoided eye contact with him most days the tone of his voice made her finally meet his gaze and it wasn’t comforting. In fact, he appeared a bit uncomfortable and unsure of how to react to the situation. She thought it was because of what happened, but then she glanced down to his hand and saw a business card in it. It showed Hyungwon’s boyfriend’s name and work info, but with a quick flip YN saw another number scribbled on back along with something about calling for a good time.

The man held no shame. Hitting on people with his longtime boyfriend present and the photographer of the event no less. Someone they’d hired to work it and would report back to them for how everything went. Truly the worst possible person because despite the possibility of lack of moral compass, the odds weren’t that great that he wouldn’t tell the person who hired him what transpired with their boyfriend.

A headache from it all was an understatement for what YN felt about it. But she knew what she had to do despite it all.

“Just…” she trailed off, taking the card from him and slipping it in her pocket. “Just don’t talk to him about it. I’ll bring it up when we wrap up for the night. It’s better I do it.”

“Are you sure?”

She wasn’t but nodded anyway.

Johnny didn’t believe her, but when she shooed him away to continue taking the photos he went without much hesitation.

From there she just worked to get through the last two hours of the event. She kept the bar going and even took a turn as a waitress when things got a little hectic since she hadn’t thought she’d need many staff on hand for something not that big.

Naturally, she hoped that it all was enough to keep her mind preoccupied, but that wasn’t the case. Any time she wasn’t focused, even for a second, her brain thought about it. And it was worse whenever she glanced up to see the both of them together as if one of them wasn’t a horrible human being. So much of her hated the idea of Hyungwon being hurt like that, even with their own past. No one deserved that. Plus, they’d made a lot of progress since he’d made that apology and YN had started to feel good around him. Like she actively wanted to be there. They’d even eaten lunch together a few times.

By the time everyone had cleared out and the staff was almost ready to go she snapped out of her own thoughts of dread to pull Hyungwon to the side. She said something about something she needed him to look over before he left for the night and he followed her to the office without hesitation. Which was good for her nerves, but not enough to quail the new set of anxiety that hit when his boyfriend said he’d wait and sat down at one of the tables. She would’ve preferred if he’d not been there to be confronted in her presence, but she didn’t have the luxury, so she pushed through.

When they entered the office she took a deep breath and turned to face Hyungwon, who appeared a bit startled and she assumed her expression aptly portrayed the discomfort and nerves she felt.

“I could prolong this because that’s totally what I want to do, because this makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I feel like you need to know. Your boyfriend has been here before. And not like just a random patron, but a person coming here on dates with people. Even attended a few events with a date in the last three months or so. And for the most part they’re always different people. And to make matters worse he’s always flirting with someone else when his date is away or even right in front of them. He’s hit on multiple staff members before, including me. Also, he slipped Johnny his card, with his personal number and a… flirtatious message on it.”

YN spoke so quickly she wasn’t sure he understood her, so the frown that appeared on his lips was what she used to indicate she could continue going. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the card, but before she could hold it up for him to see or hand it to him his hand was on her wrist.

Startled, she looked up to see the frown had left his face and he’d gone for a much more neutral expression, though his eyes held fire behind them. It almost made her flinch.

Hyungwon scoffed. “I didn’t think you’d stoop to this. He’d never even heard of this bar before I told him I was going to become a co-owner nor would he have the time to do that. Also, what could possibly be the problem with coming here with other people if he did. He can bring friends to events or out for a night of partying. My goodness YN why would you even try to spew such false info-”

Before he could finish, YN put a hand over his mouth. That confused him but didn’t stop the way he looked at her. And that only made her angrier.

She’d listened to his little rant about how she was wrong and hoped that he would change course. Hoped that the way his tone wavered every now and then was indication of him not believing his own words, but he kept going. If she hadn’t stopped him YN was sure he’d descended into words much less passive in calling her liar and into much more hurtful talk. And with the way she felt she couldn’t endure that. She refused to be hurt by him when all she wanted to do was help.

“I would never make up something like that. And I am not as stupid as to think people hanging out in a bar or doing the bare minimum of hugging is cause to deem them together. Nor would I sit here and make up being uncomfortably flirted with and Johnny getting his number and a not so ‘I want to be friends’ note from him. Something I was just going to show you. But that doesn’t matter to you apparently. Because someone who's been harmed by something as bad as cheating would totally make that up for shits and giggles or for some sort of revenge. Because I of all people who has let much worse slide would do that, right? Don’t believe me, that’s fucking fine. Live your life thinking I’d lie about that or misunderstand. But if you want to pull your head out of your ass you can look at this card, you can look at the files on the computer to see pictures from events, you can check the bar’s website and social media for the pictures too. Hell, go ask Johnny for them. He has more than he gave up and with the way he was making out with most of them I’m sure he has something to show that.”

After that YN didn’t wait for a reply, she simply turned on her heel, grabbed her bag, and stormed out of the room. She went out front so she could tell her manager to finish locking up and tell Johnny she wanted to leave, but when she got out there she saw something that made her feel even worse.

Johnny and Yoongi were standing across from each other at the bar laughing and being all touchy. It wasn’t the worst thing ever, but then they leaned in close enough that they looked ready to kiss until Yoongi happened to notice YN and turned to look at her. His smile dropped and he stepped away, moving to get from behind the bar but she didn’t stay put.

YN all but sprinted out of the building with three voices calling out to her. And she didn’t stop until she was in a taxi, sobbing and asking to be taken to some bar that was far away from her own business and home so they wouldn’t stumble upon her.

From then on time moved in a way that she couldn’t comprehend. She reached the bar and immediately muted her ringer to avoid calls or texts. And once inside she greeted the bartender she was familiar with and asked for a drink. Something she did until she was so drunk that she just barely was cognizant of what was happening around her. Of course, she wanted more, but she needed to be responsible despite all the things that had crumbled right in front of her.

“I called you a taxi, it’s out front. Go home YN,” JB, the bartender, said.

Though part of her wanted to say no she simply nodded, paid, and headed out to the taxi that waited for her. She managed to walk normally until she reached the taxi where she stumbled a bit and had to be helped inside. Once she and her driver were in their seats she slurred her words and told him her address. He grunted and they were off.

The whole drive her brain kept trying to figure out how’d she’d deal with Johnny when she got home or Yoongi when she had to work. Her brain was so hazy that she couldn’t form full ideas for Johnny, but decided she’d just have someone else take her shifts with Yoongi. That answer made her so proud that she smiled and patted herself on the back.

However, the back patting stopped when the driver stopped and she got out, only to realize he’d dropped her a few blocks from her apartment. He’d driven off by then and she felt slightly more sober, so she started her trek home. There was some tripping over her own feet and stopping when her vision blurred but she did okay.

Ten minutes in though she felt her stomach drop as she heard a voice.

“YN? Got damnit, YN where have you been?” Yoongi called out.

Though she heard him clear as day she continued walking without even a glance backwards. She even put a pep in her step, though that was less about avoiding him and more about being miffed about the use of her full first name.

“YN, could you stop,” he said.

She continued ignoring him. Even when she stopped to put in the code to her building, when she stopped to wait for the elevator, and when both of them stood in the small space together. Yoongi was displeased, but he didn’t force anything simply followed behind her.

He tried to speak again once they entered the apartment, but he wasn’t the only one.

“Can you just answer m....”

“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been calli...” Johnny started

Regardless of their concerns she continued to ignore them both, even tuning out what they had to say as she kicked off her shoes and deposited her bag on one of the hooks near the door. The plan was to walk past them and into her room where she would pass out, but as she made her first step she tripped over a box that she hadn’t seen.

Thankfully, they caught her and got her standing and steady. She muttered a quick thank you and then looked at what had been her undoing, only to see a box she’d asked Johnny to move multiple times.

That surely brought up some anger as her head whipped up so she could glare at him.

“Why can’t you just listen to what I say? Or better yet understand that there is an issue? That all signs point to a fucking problem if you do something like that? Why? I’ve almost hurt myself like ten times already and you have yet to move it!”

Johnny’s own anger subsided a little and he appeared sheepish for a second, mumbling an apology and moving the box out of the way. He turned to her after, but she didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say or talk about, so she attempted to storm off to her room as planned. Attempting was key in that, because the moment the foot that hit the box touched down on its own she cried out in pain.

“Fuck,” Johnny said as he caught her and held her up.

“Stupid fucking box!” she screamed.

“Oh, fuck. What can we do? How can we help?” a panicked Yoongi asked.

YN cursed a few more times as the throbbing settled in.

“Just take me to my room. I just want to sleep and not deal with this shit.”

Both men nodded and helped her to her room, carefully placing her down on the bed. From there she slipped off her jeans - she had leggings on underneath - and shrugged off her heavy sweater so she only had her sports bra on. After she got comfortable in the bed, using a pillow to put under her throbbing ankle and threw a bonnet over her hair, thankful to be wearing it braided.

As she got comfortable and prepared to sleep she realized that neither of them had left and when she prepared to tell them to both men crawled into the bed with her, getting on either side.

“What are you do-”

She wasn’t allowed to finish though because Johnny cut her off.

“Can we just stay? We know we stressed you out in the last few minutes and we feel like shit. It would make us feel better and if you say no, we’ll just sit on the floor or outside your door.”

Yoongi nodded. “We’d just feel better closer.”

Though she opened her mouth to argue she found that with the pain in her ankle and the alcohol wearing off she was too tired for it. So, she said nothing and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself and laying completely still until she fell asleep.

Or mostly fell asleep. With the two of them in her bed so close and radiating so much body heat she found it hard to slip completely. Not that either of them could tell that she wasn't asleep.

"It has to be more than the Hyungwon situation. I think I know what it is and that means we need to tell her soon,” Yoongi whispered.

"Wait. What? We have everything set for a week. Can it not wait?"

"Have you seen how she's been acting lately? She's pulling away from both of us and a week gives her more time to put more distance. We won't have a chance to come clean by then or even get a proper conversation in about it. She'll just think it's pity or not feel enough to care."

"Okay, tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, it's an off day and she's ahead of all her work, so even if she goes in it'll be fine."

Silence followed that and then soft snores.

Their words confused her, but she also felt her stomach drop as she imagined them saying they were together or any other thing that would make her distressed. Her mind couldn’t stop thinking of possibilities and she finally knocked out as a way to avoid the overthinking.

When she woke up it was around three in the morning and it was because she was overheated. Confusion filled YN as she couldn’t figure out the problem, only to open her eyes and see both men cuddled into her from either side. Everything came rushing back to her at once, but she was still tired enough that she prepared to ignore it and go back to sleep.

Until she noticed their hands intertwined over her body. Nausea hit fast and before she knew it, she slipped from the bed and exited the room. It was the only time she was happy that either of them were heavy sleepers.

She limped from her room and went to Johnny’s. She created a similar set up for her ankle and pushing down all negative thoughts she cuddled into one of his plushies and went to sleep. Though not nearly fast enough to stop the tears.

The day after chaos reigned, YN woke up surprisingly early but didn’t dare leave Johnny’s bed. She waited in the dark in silence until she heard Yoongi leave and then slipped into her room as Johnny was in the kitchen making coffee. She’d barely made it in without him catching her, but once she was inside and the door was locked, him knowing didn’t matter.

From then on she tried not to think about anything that occurred and just got undressed and into the shower. The focus was on getting clean and hoping that that hot water would help along her still sore ankle; resting it through the night had been enough to keep it from getting too bad and it hadn’t swollen.

After she was cleaned she made quick work of getting dressed and taking down her hair, allowing her twist out to take full form. It needed a little sprucing up and then she was done. Ready to tackle the day.

Though she didn’t know how.

Every few seconds her brain focused on the sounds of Johnny moving around the apartment. Mostly because he wasn’t in his room, but out in the living room near her door which meant that he awaited her exit. She hoped that he would leave and she would have an opening to slip out and avoid him a little longer, but she knew he was stubborn and didn’t have to work that day so he had all the time in the world.

Since grabbing her stuff and escaping wasn’t a perfect plan she was forced to sit on her bed and think out other ones. There was the obvious choice of talking to him, but with all that went on her head she didn’t want that. Plus, she wanted to be a punk for a while and not deal with whatever it was him and Yoongi planned to tell her. That left things like stay in her room all day, exit via the fire escape and come through the front to grab her bag and shoes, or just go out of her door and walk past him. Staying in her room would drive her up the wall and the fire escape on the building was not the best and she’d have to jump a foot or two to get off it, something that would agitate her ankle.

That meant that she had to walk past him, which meant she needed an excuse. She sat there thinking for a while until she remembered something important she’d put off and planned to do after the event. Something that was important to keep her business running and that she told Johnny about.

It was perfect.

So, after taking a deep breath she stood from her bed and exited her room with some faux confidence and a whole lot of fake indifference.

The moment she was in sight Johnny stopped his movement. He looked ready to move closer to her but seemed to think better of it. Something she was thankful for since she didn’t know if she could get away from him if he was close enough to stop her. He wouldn’t hurt her and would let her go if she asked but being stopped messed with the whole flow of things for her.

YN didn’t linger too long on what he was doing and just walked to the front door and slipped on her shoes. She then grabbed her bag and made sure her wallet and phone were there before her hand touched the door to open it.

And that’s when Johnny spoke up.

“Do you want to talk about what happened? I feel like we should talk about it. Among other things,” he said.

For a second that made YN freeze, but she recovered rather quickly. Maintaining her “indifference” she turned to look at his face for the first time since she walked out and shrugged.

“Maybe later. Don’t really feel like dealing with anything besides spreadsheets and those tax forms I need to get out by tonight,” she said.

Though Johnny still appeared prepared to push he seemed to resign himself when she said tax forms. As an owner of his own business he knew that was important and it took her awhile to get everything ready for her accountant. Which meant he simply collapsed onto the couch and nodded.

With that small victory YN opened the door and walked out. Part of her said she should at least say bye or when she’d be back, but she knew talking to him longer would’ve made it harder for her. She’d nearly cracked when she saw the worry and sadness etched into his face.

Time is what she needed.

No one foresaw five days of it to go by though. Not even YN.

After she’d bypassed Johnny she’d genuinely ended up too busy to have the energy for any sort of conversation. Mountains of paperwork hit and there were issues left and right. Even when she was in Johnny, Yoongi, or Hyungwon’s presence it was so work related that they didn’t even attempt to talk about anything else or ask her to speak later.

Even at home she was left alone, especially because she’d fallen asleep while responding to Johnny about what to order for dinner one night.

Friday night was when things slowed down and she took her usual shift bartending. It was a packed night because they were handling an event that they themselves were running to get more business. Which meant that most of the staff worked, as well as Hyungwon and Johnny who was hired to take pictures to go up on social media and their website.

It put YN right in the middle of all of them and it was uncomfortable, but she kept strong. Well, she committed to giving them the silent treatment unless it was about work. And it worked out pretty well for her, she managed to get through most of her shift without giving into any attempts to talk or pull her to the side.

The non-plan gave way for reasons she couldn't foresee though.

While she left to the backroom to grab more tequila she was trailed by Hyungwon, who’d tried to get her alone the moment she’d come to work that day. He was begging for a moment of her time even as they made their way back towards the bar, but she held strong. Something she regretted the moment she passed the bottles to Yoongi so he could prep drinks and then turned to see someone she didn’t want to.

Her ex, Jisoo, stood right in front of her bar with a few friend’s laughing it up. None of them noticed her for the first several seconds, which she was thankful for, but it didn’t last long enough for her to fully pull herself together. When Jisoo turned to request a drink he was met with a clearly shocked YN.

Jisoo appeared surprised as well, but he pushed that aside to smirk at her with a quickness.

“YN, I didn’t know you worked here. I just got back into the country and this was the first place my friends recommended. Small world. Oh, Hyungwon… what a surprise to see you here too,” Jisoo said.

That snapped YN out of it and she turned to see Hyungwon glaring at the male, his hand in a fist as he stared him down. For a moment she was reminded of the past as she looked at him. The pain rose up for a second and she felt sick having them in the same place, but she pushed it down. Despite their falling out they’d done well since reconnecting and she was mostly past it all, even close to asking him to hang out like a friend. Allowing a piece of shit ruin that wasn’t okay.

Never again would she allow Jisoo to ruin things for her.

With that spark of anger and confidence she turned to stare down Jisoo herself. She noticed Yoongi closer than before and Johnny standing behind the little group ready to pounce, but she waved them off. YN needed it to be her who went off.

“I own this bar and Hyungwon here is my co-owner, so naturally we would be here,” she said.

For a second Jisoo was knocked off his game, but it wasn’t long before he bounced back. He was like Hyungwon that way and YN hated it.

“Oh? I thought you two were no longer on speaking terms?” he said.

“Well, clearly what you thought was wrong,” Hyungwon chimed in.

Hyungwon’s words elicited a laugh from Jisoo for some reason and it made YN uneasy, but she held her ground. No matter what he threw she knew she could take it. There was no way she’d allow him to see her hurt or crying.

Jisoo shrugged. “I guess so. You’re still with Ji-ah though, right YN? Last I heard you and her hit it off.”

That was the thing to force a humorless laugh from her lips. Only Jisoo would mention her other ex whom he knew she’d broken up with a while ago when she’d moved to take a job at a company out of the country. A company that Jisoo worked at, at that.

Of course, he had to be a trash human in more aspects than one.

“No, but you know that. Since you hit on her, took her on a few dates, slept with her and then told her how you knew me. That's why you asked her out in the first place. You remember that, right? Oh, and you have to remember how she told your job that and so they demoted you, plus moved you to a different branch,” YN said.

And at last the smirk left his face. While pleased by that, YN didn’t ignore the way he tensed and the anger that covered every inch of his expression.

“I feel like you’re the one who should remember. Like remember how you cried when you saw us together. The hurt on your face as I kissed hi-”

Before he could speak anymore Hyungwon almost punched him in the face. If it wasn’t for YN hip checking him and thus making him stumble he would’ve made impact on Jisoo’s right cheek.

Once Hyungwon was settled and being held back by a staff member YN’s attention focused solely on Jisoo.

“I don’t want you or your friend’s here. Ever. So, I’m going to ask you to leave. There will be no argument. No putting up a fight. No asking to be given another chance. You will leave and never return, am I understood?” she said calmly.

Naturally, Jisoo opened his mouth to reply but YN cut him off by whistling. Within seconds two security guards were at the bar and Jisoo’s friends dragged him towards the exit. It was clear that he wanted to say or do something, but he left without much issue and after that YN could breathe.

However, breathing meant that it all came crashing down on her and the next thing she knew she ran to the office with tears streaming down her face.

The intention was to get in there alone and ride out whatever wave of emotion hit until she could pull it together and go back to work like nothing happened. Of course, that meant that the first part didn’t happen.

Hyungwon had followed behind her and slipped in before she could fully close the door. Though it bothered a part of her she didn’t have it in her to say anything or react. She did have the energy to cry harder though, her attempt at silent tears only lasting seconds before sobs wracked her body.

In her head all she could think about is what happened all those years ago. Except the pain she felt was amplified. YN knew it wasn’t because of that or at least the feeling wasn’t solely because of that. No, because after reliving that in her head her brain brought up every other failed relationship and honestly all the failures in her life. It didn’t stop playing the flashbacks until it reached the more recent things to fuck up her life plans and the uncertain romantic feelings she had to endure.

It was all too much, especially when it came at her all at once.

She ended up so in her own head that she didn’t feel Hyungwon pull her into his arms and hold her close. Didn’t hear the apologies and words of reassurance. Didn’t hear the curses about her ex. Didn’t even feel when he moved them from standing to sitting in a chair, her on his lap with her face in his neck.

And time passed so swiftly that she couldn’t tell how long they’d been like that once she’d come back to. But it didn’t matter because it heightened her embarrassment of what had occurred and she attempted to escape him, only to be held in place by bony fingers.

Once she stopped fighting Hyungwon removed one of his hands and used it to lift her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“Your crying is valid and don’t you dare think otherwise. None of that embarrassed or frustrated bullshit because you deserve to be able to release all that,” Hyungwon said.

Even after years apart he still knew her reactions to being overwhelmed through and through, and in that moment she was eternally grateful.

With a nod from her he didn’t stop there.

“That was unexpected and I’m sorry he was here. I forgot how horrible he could be and then he’s just gotten worse over time. You’d think someone would stop playing those games and trying to mess with people’s mental and emotional stability, but alas here he is. I think his company was planning to do an event here, I’ll tell them we’re canceling it and that he’s the reason. Might even throw in some security footage for good measure.”

YN opened her mouth to object, but Hyungwon gave her a look that shut her up.

“Besides that, and I know this is a horrible time, I want to apologize. The way I acted a week ago was uncalled for. When you said it, I believed you I really did. It was just something that wanted to deny that he would. Not necessarily for my own feelings, though they did come into play. But also, because he’s the one who came to me. I had no interest in him whatsoever, but he was persistent in a way that wasn’t creepy and I thought who would work that hard to just throw it away. Especially when they’d been the one to bring up the subject of marriage recently.

“So, I went on the defense and instead of just checking what you had to say or denying it and moving on I went to the worst possible conclusion. Said things I didn’t believe even as they left my mouth. And thus, for the second time since meeting you hurt you in a way that wasn’t okay in the slightest. And I understand that you may not want to work towards friendship. I like to think we were close to getting back or wanting to deal with me. I just want to apologize because you deserve one and I know I was in the wrong.”

What neither of them expected, least of all YN, was her to start crying again. Her head dropped onto his shoulder and she felt her body shake again as she let it out. Though she could tell he was confused by the way his body tensed, he didn’t say anything and simply rubbed her back gently as she cried it out.

About five minutes later YN spoke.

“You’re a fucking idiot and an asshole.”

Hyungwon laughed. “True. But you know what happened when you tried to get me to be nicer for that month. If we’re being honest you made me worse.”

YN laughed that time, remembering how Hyungwon spent every day being closely watched by her as he tried to not be snarky with people. By the end he’d given up and snapped on some annoying man that wouldn’t leave them be and she was sure she saw tears in his eyes as he ran away from the fuming Hyungwon.

He mellowed out after that, but when someone truly tried him he was a lot more than he used to be. YN marked that as a major fail and stuck to keeping him calm when he rightfully deserved to put someone in their place, which was oddly often at their school.

“Yeah, a mistake on my part. But at least I got you to start counting to ten before you unleashed yourself.”

“Ah yes, what a great help that is. Ten seconds longer of dealing with the idiots.”

They both laughed that time and when they pulled it together they talked. About everything in detail. Nothing was left off the table and by the end YN felt less weight on her shoulders.

By the time they were done about an hour and a half had gone by, meaning they’d been back in the room for over two hours and the bar was shutting down.

“I guess I should go help since I flaked on my shit at the end,” YN said as she got up from Hyungwon’s lap.

At first he nodded and got up too seemingly ready to follow her and the next he was giving her a look and grasping at her wrist.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“You need to talk to them.”

A groan escaped her immediately and her head tilted back as she blew out a puff of air.

“Nope. None of that. Talk to them. Tonight. And don’t be a stubborn brat and not let them finish what they have to say. I’m sure it would clear up a lot of things for her,” Hyungwon said.

There was no use in arguing because he would win and she knew he was right, even if she didn’t want to admit that to herself.

“Fine.”

And that was all it took for him to release her and take the lead on exiting the office. However, YN didn’t get the chance to leave right behind him. The moment Hyungwon was out, both Johnny and Yoongi stumbled in forcing her to take several steps back.

They both appeared nervous and disheveled, which helped calm YN for some reason. Though it didn’t get rid of all the feelings like she would’ve preferred.

“We need to talk. Now. We can’t keep putting it off,” Johnny blurted out.

If YN didn’t know how frazzled he got under pressure she’d be shocked by his actions, much like Yoongi who stared the man down eyes wide, but she’d known Johnny long enough to expect that kind of thing. What she was shocked about is how he didn’t dive into explaining right then and there.

Once she was sure he was done talking and that Yoongi had nothing to say she took over.

“We do need to talk. But it would be better not here. So, after we close up and at the apartment, yeah?”

That appeared to shock Yoongi more and Johnny too. They both probably assumed she’d be resistant or straight up tell them no. Things she debated on for half a second but couldn’t go through with.

“Okay,” they both said.

With that YN patted both of them on the shoulder and headed out to help.

About an hour after that everyone was done and headed out of the door. They said their goodbyes with the staff - and Hyungwon who hugged her while threatening what would happen if she didn’t give either man a chance to talk - then they got in a taxi to go back to the apartment.

Silence prevailed, which made YN awkward since she was sandwiched between them in the back seat, but she didn’t let it take over her. At least not too much. She held strong despite it and managed to make it out of the car and into the apartment without thinking of making a run for it.

The same couldn’t be said for either of the men though. YN hadn’t faced them until she was rid of her jacket and shoes and sat on the love seat, but the moment she did they froze. For a second they stared at each other both expressions unsure, but then they seemed to come to a consensus and finally fully entered the apartment, taking a seat on the couch.

Again, they were immersed in silence, but that only made things more tense.

“Go ahead,” she said.

Thankfully, they didn’t take long to react to that.

“We,” Yoongi started, pausing to look at Johnny before continuing. “We know we’ve done a horrible job at making things clear to you. We’ve been a little secretive and haven’t made the most effort in ensuring you were okay when we saw that something was off. It was a major fuck up on our part, one that could’ve prevented if I hadn’t been so stuck on keeping a certain timeline on how we should talk to you about this. And I’m starting to ramble when it was agreed upon that I would tell you so we could get straight to the point. And oh my fucking goodness, will I stop it already. Okay, basically we both want to date you.”

YN felt her entire body tense as confusion filled her.

“Excuse me?” she said.

That went unheard though.

“That’s not how we agreed you’d say it,” Johnny whined.

Yoongi scoffed. “It is. Well, not exactly but all the words I used were in the agreed upon statement.”

“Maybe, but you could have at least tried to eas-”

“Excuse me!” YN shouted.

That stopped Johnny and got both their attention.

“You don’t get to drop a bomb like that and then not elaborate. Especially to a very confused person whose last week has been trash. Explain yourselves.”

There was another silent moment of them staring at each other and then Yoongi gestured for Johnny to go ahead. Johnny rolled his eyes but turned his full attention to YN before speaking.

“What Yoongi said was true, we do both want to date you. But before you start to spiral and come up with your own conclusions let me fill in a few things. We’ve both known Yoongi for over a year now, you more than me. And he and I have always clicked despite how worried you were that he would slap me upside the head for being too friendly and getting in his space. It’s an easy kinda friendship we’ve had going, but then that day at the bar a few months ago we really clicked. I know we’ve been obvious about the attraction and it’s only built over time.

“The thing is we soon realized that both of us also feel something for you. Those feelings are from before we ever looked at each other that way and despite the growing feelings between us it was still there. Yoongi just about lost his shit when he realized and was very confused. And well, you know that most of my relationships have been poly, so it was nothing new for me. Though still kinda surprising because I thought I’d continue to live my life not acting on feelings for you I’ve felt for years.”

“I’m sorry what?” YN practically screamed.

The interruption earned her a glare which quieted her despite wanting an answer.

“As I was saying. I was planning to not act on them, but then suddenly someone else who I liked felt the same way for you as I did and it felt like a chance. That plus Hyungwon telling me I was an idiot for not realizing the crush you had on me before you got with dickwad back in college after he overheard me talking to Yoongi. But either way everything aligned and after I got Yoongi to accept that this was a viable option we started doing those group hangouts. To us they were test dates, but then we… well we…”

“We realized that we weren’t including you as much as we thought and could tell how third wheeling it felt,” Yoongi said.

Johnny nodded. “Yes, that. We failed to factor in as people who know each other, but don’t know each other and who are using those outings as dates we’d get caught up in each other. Which we realized but didn’t realize how bad until yet again Hyungwon overheard us. Told us we were idiots, because it was clear that you felt something for both of us and yet we were both going around acting like a couple in early days while dragging their friend who didn’t know we liked them around. And then we decided to fix things, but then the falling out with Hyungwon happened and nothing worked so we were unsure of what to do next besides maybe cornering you. So, yeah.”

With the way Johnny so abruptly ended that YN was left unsure of how to proceed. What had been said was a lot to take in. Not because it was wild or out of her comfort zone, but because despite feelings she’d had no time to process her own. She knew how she felt about them both, but she’d never allowed herself to linger on it too long to address how to handle things. And when she found herself finally admitting it things went to shit and she thought the only people she’d been interested in in years were on their way to dating each other without her ever having a real chance of seeing if either of them felt the same way.

Since YN hadn’t gotten that out of the way she definitely had no time to factor in any poly relationship. Like Johnny said she did know he was into it, but Yoongi wasn’t someone she knew well enough to know if he was down for that. He didn’t judge it, but not caring about how people lived their lives and actively participating were two different things.

Just the thought of having that conversation with him made her nervous despite it being more of what he would have done in the past and not in her present since she’d heard that he’d agreed with it. At least that’s what she thought they said. Her brain was frazzled.

“Hold on,” she finally said after minutes of silence. “So, I’m clear. You both want to date me and each other? You just failed to realize that you should’ve gotten to know each other better and go on dates alone, before trying to test out a poly relationship with me without my knowledge?”

“Yes,” Yoongi said while Johnny nodded.

Without warning pillows from the loveseat were in YN’s hands, she was standing, and said pillows were making contact with each male’s body.

“You. Two. Are. Fuckin. Idiots. How. Could. You. Not. Think. That. Through? What. Happened. To. Being. So. Got. Damn. Smart. Huh?”

Each word was spoken in time with the pillows swinging down on them. And though they squirmed they didn’t try to dodge or take them away from her. They let her keep going until she was satisfied.

Upon her clearly giving up her attack they both reach out and pull her down onto the couch so her body stretched out across them.

“Yes, we’re idiots. And we’re sorry about not thinking things through and telling you. But we’re idiots who are smitten with you and would like a chance to date you,” Johnny said, his hand moved to find the spot at the back of her head that she enjoyed being scratched. She didn’t even care that he was messing up her hair a little, just relaxed into the feeling.

“Ditto,” Yoongi said.

That drew glares from Johnny and YN, which he responded to by throwing his hands in the air in surrender.

“We are really sorry. And if you could let us date you, it would make me very happy,” he said.

His second response sated both of them and they relaxed back into their little moment. And as time ticked by they all grew more comfortable. There was more to talk about, but they cleared the space and it was clear they were all relieved. YN most of all.

Though she tried not to show it, YN felt giddy and wanted to giggle as she watched them both interact with each other and her. So much so that it slipped out when they both leaned over to press kisses to her cheeks. It seemed to amuse them, but she was so embarrassed she slipped away to change and scolded herself for the behavior. Not that she didn’t do it again when her mind replayed what happened.

They spent the rest of the night watching TV and eating food they’d ordered. It was peaceful and comfortable, so much so that they almost fell asleep on the couch.

Two in the morning rolled around before they all dragged feet to climb in Johnny’s bed and knock out. YN wanted to sleep on the outside of the bed, but ended up sandwiched between the both of them, not that she complained about it.

Once they were all comfortable they said their good nights and tried to sleep, but one adjustment by Johnny against her ass had YN slapping his arm.

“You cannot possibly be hard right now,” she whined.

Johnny pressed closer after that, grinding his dick against her ass more.

“You can’t possibly be calling me out on it right now as if it hasn’t happened before,” he mumbled.

“And both of you can’t possibly be having this conversation while I try to sleep. Go to bed before the next thing you’re both complaining about is how bruised and sore your asses are,” Yoongi chimed in.

Though it was meant as a means to shut them up all it did was elicit whimpers from both of them at the thought. That’s when Yoongi sat up and stared down at them and even in the dark they could see the smirk.

“Oh, you like that do you?”

They both nodded eagerly.

“Then strip.”

Neither of them had ever moved so fast in their lives and it was beyond worth it. Complaining was kept to a minimum the next day, but only because Yoongi took very good care of his babies and made sure to kiss their booboos all better.

[legoshi-plz]

Pretenses Part 4 (Louis x Reader)

Summary: Part 4. Louis is a spoiled prince and you are a clumsy maid. Prince! Louis x Canine!Dog! Reader.

Warning: Slight NSFW +18 Themes ahead

//////////

Over the next few weeks, you and Legoshi struck up a perculiar yet inevitable friendship. You would love to say it was of natural causes but it wasn’t. The two of you were similar in so many aspects, it would be odd if you two didn’t find kinship in one another.

He was the royal body guard to Princess Azuki and, much like yourself, he was hardly ever allowed a moment of peace. She liked to keep him by her side at all times, which he explained was very stressful because her life was essentially in his hands, leaving no room for error.

“I’m actually glad there’s so many rules and regulations at this palace. Finally there’s some separation and I’m not working at all times.” Legoshi told you one night as the two of you ate together. Whenever neither of you were on duty, he tended to gravitate towards you to try and learn the ways of this land, hoping to fit in. Well, fit in as much as a 6’5 massive Grey Wolf could.

The small number of other Carnivores that Princess Azuki had brought with her were not acclimating quite as well as Legoshi and you could tell they were not fond of the place Carnivores had in this society, mainly with them not being able to be in the castle during the day. You could tell just by your fellow kitchen coworkers that the Herbivore staff was growing antsy as well.

“She never lets you take breaks back in your old land?” You asked.

“No, I have to be at her beck and call almost nonstop. Sometimes it’s like I’m there more for her entertainment than actual protection. Can get a bit tiresome,” Legoshi said in that soft tone of his which was almost an oxymoron compared to how deep his voice was. It was as if whenever he spoke, he was trying to put the person he was talking to at ease. You hated to admit it, but it worked on you every time.

/////////

The more time you spent away from Louis and his bizarre behavior, the more he began to fade from your mind. With how busy you were in the kitchen day and night, you barely gave the Prince a second thought. You also had a new distraction in your life that undoubtedly kept your mind preoccupied.

You and Legoshi quickly became as thick as thieves. You found yourself looking forward to seeing him during any spare moment of the day, even for just a little bit. Which brought you to where you were today, walking with Legoshi around the grounds while you took the too short lunch break you were allotted.

“Shouldn’t you be using your lunch break to actually eat?” Legoshi asked, tugging at your tail as the two of you walked by the garden. You waved to the Carnivores maintaining it, promising to bring them some iced water as soon as you headed back to the kitchens.

“I’m surrounded by food all day and night, I like to savor every moment I can away from it. What about you? Don’t you have a princess to guard?” You teased, playfully swatting his hand away.

“I’m dismissed for the evening. She’s with her fiancé. He doesn’t like me hanging around,” Legoshi smiles fondly, obviously enjoying the indirect free time Louis had granted him. You could see Louis not wanting him around, he did hate Carnivores after all.

‘Especially you...’ a tiny voice reminded you. You brushed it off.

“An entire evening off, I might have to utilize your time for my own gain then,” you smiled as his hand latched back onto your tail.

“Anything you need, just put me to work.” Legoshi smirked as he tugged you closer by your tail. It was incredibly familiar, and some might even say intimate, for one Canine to play with another’s tail yet Legoshi could never leave yours alone.

“Having fun back there? You know it’s not that interesting, you’ve got one too,” you teased.

“Yeah but not like yours. It’s so soft and shiny, it almost reminds me of a-“

“Y/N!” You and Legoshi turned to see the Prince approaching with his fiancé by his side. She looked just as infuriated as he did.

“What do you two think you’re doing out here?” Louis sneered, his eyes trained on you.

“My apologies my liege, but Carnivores are mandated to be outside during the day. We were simply walking the grounds outside. We.... we weren’t breaking any rules...” you said awkwardly. Louis knew the rules because his family had been the one to put them in place so why was he so upset?

“You’re supposed to be in the kitchen doing your duties, not frolicking in the gardens with some mutt,” Louis bellowed and you felt your tail slip from Legoshi’s grip as it tucked between your legs.

“My apologies, my liege. I was on my lunch break-

“I don’t care, nor did I ask. Now get out of my sight.” The usual humiliation came in but this time was accompanied by a bitter anger that you weren’t sure how to place. No matter where you were or what you were doing, the Prince always found a way to demean you simply for existing.

You turned to return to your position and Legoshi followed beside you.

“I’ll walk you back,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“No, you won’t,” Princess Azuki said in an ice cold tone causing Legoshi to freeze. “You’ll stay here and guard us during the rest of our stroll.”

“Ma’am, I was given the afternoon off. By him.” Legoshi said glancing at Louis.

“Well I’m taking it away. Now assume your position.” She snapped and he reluctantly let you go as you resumed your trek up to the kitchen.

You fought your emotions the entire way there until you finally felt calm enough to work.

//////////////

The next morning you found yourself once again with Legoshi. He had come to visit you in your quarters last night after you were done with your duties and hadn’t left since. You’d usually be asleep at this time but you much preferred his company to the inevitable swirling of your thoughts that would have kept you from slumber anyway.

You were sitting inbetween his legs with your back pressed to his chest. Neither of you had said much to one another since the ‘incident’ from earlier that day. It still made your blood boil just thinking about it but having him here with his tail wrapped around your waist and his chin resting on top of your head did make you feel immensely better. It was the first time you’d felt such comfort from another Canine and you were beginning to wonder how you never sought out this type of intimacy amongst your own kind before.

“You smell different, you know,” Legoshi commented suddenly. You could feel the vibrations of his voice rumbling against his chest despite his low volume.

“Different how? Bad different?” You sighed, looking out the window. You maybe had half an hour before sunrise when you’d have to report to the kitchen.

“Not bad, really, just different. When I first got here, you didn’t smell like a Carnivore. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was but now I can. You smelled like the Prince,” Your ears shot up at the statement. It wasn’t that strange to smell like him, you supposed, seeing as how you worked for him personally, however the fact you were taking naps in his bed probably wasn’t exactly deemed appropriate.

Or him kissing you on the balcony either...

“I guess so. Before you guys arrived, he used to make me watch him eat every meal,” you chuckled darkly.

“That... probably explains why you only smell like you now,” Legoshi hummed but you got the feeling he had more to say.

“Something wrong with smelling like myself?” You laughed, elbowing him playfully.

“Of course not, there’s nothing wrong with your scent but uh....” Legoshi was hesitating again, his tail unconsciously wrapping tighter around you.

“H-how would you like to smell like me instead?” Legoshi asked and you felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. Legoshi was asking you to let him.... scent you?

“You...? You mean like-”

“Yeah,” Legoshi answered quickly.

“Wow, had no idea you liked little ole me so much,” you giggled, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

“I don’t see how you couldn’t, I uh thought it was pretty obvious,” Legoshi muttered and now it was your time to feel embarrassed. A boy had never confessed to you before but then again there weren’t many domesticated male animals that worked in the palace and even then they were usually kept far away, doing more labor intensive work. You had never imagined that someone so high in the Canine class like a grey wolf would ever have interest in a common, lowly dog like yourself.

You were brought out of your thoughts when you felt the cool temperature of Legoshi’s nose burrowing softly along your scent gland.

“Is this okay?” Legoshi’s voice rumbled, his long arms wrapping around your abdomen to join his tail.

“It’s more than okay,” you sighed, leaning into him. You wished you had more time with him. It was like you could never get enough of being around him, could never get tired of his presence.

When you were with Legoshi, everything seemed to just fall into place.

//////////////

“Here ya go,” One of the Gazelles from your station, handed a platter of assorted cheese, veggies, and spreads.

“Where’s this going?” You asked taking it off her hands.

“Where d’ya think it’s going? Straight to the Prince. Apparently the food we serve in the dining hall isn’t good enough for ‘em,” she rolled her eyes before walking off. You huffed, preparing yourself for the inevitable trek to his quarters.

You knocked on the door of his study and entered, wordlessly setting down the tray in its usual spot on a side table by the window. You were about to make a silent exit but Louis was not having that in the slightest.

“And where do you think you’re going. I didn’t dismiss you nor did I give you any proper instructions. Now pick up that tray and set it in front of me,” Louis sneered.

God you were so sick of his mind games.

You did as you were told, setting the tray in front of him only for him to grab your arm as you tried to retreat. He stood suddenly at full height, his towering figure intimidating, even to a Carnivore such as yourself. You tried to shrink away from him but he had your arm in a deathgrip.

“Why do you....?” He leaned forward, his face nearly in your neck as he inhaled deeply. His face took on a look of horror as he leaned back. “Y-you’ve been scented!”

“My Prince, this isn’t appro-”

“Cut the bullshit, Y/N!” Louis snapped and you cringed away from him. “It was Azuki’s fucking lapdog, wasn’t it?”

Your silence was all the confirmation he needed. Louis’s grip on your arm had turned from uncomfortable to down right painful. His eyes were lit with rage and you had honestly never seen the Royal this decomposed. Usually his anger was tactical, reserved yet percise. The state he was in now could be described as nothing less than a blind fury.

He didn’t waste a second as he dragged you out of his study and to his personal bed chambers. He kicked the door close behind him and then proceeded to throw you into his bed. Before you could even get your bearings, he was ripping off your uniform.

“My liege, my liege please! Don’t do this, I-”

“Shut up! Has he had you? I have to know if he’s had you!” Louis had completely ruined the lower half of your uniform and was about to rip your underwear off in the same fashion before he seemed to think better of it. He then grabbed you by the thighs and dragged you closer to the edge before getting down on his knees. He brought his snout to your core and inhaled deeply.

You were humiliated beyond belief and shocked into silence at his bizarre actions. Your mind struggled to keep up with whatever the hell it was he was doing.

“He hasn’t defiled you yet, at least not recently.” Louis huffed, his anger still simmering but not as erratic as before.

“I’m going to ask you this only once and if you lie to me, you and every single Carnivore in this vicinity will pay the price,” Louis said darkly, “Has he fucked you?”

“N-no,”

“Did you let him touch you?”

“P-prince Lou-”

“Answer the question!”

“Y-Yes,”

“Where? Be percise.” Louis was fuming but there was another emotion bubbling to the surface: desperation.

“M-my tail. My neck. H-hands...” you trailed off awkwardly.

“Has he kissed you?”

“No, never,” you could see the tension physically leaving Louis’ body as he gazed down upon you.

“So he hasn’t touched you here?” Louis asked, his hands sliding up to fondle your chest lightly through the ruined uniform.

“N-no, sire,” you could feel your lower abdomen flutter at his touch.

“What about here?” His hands trailed down to your exposed thighs. You shook your head.

“And here?” He asked, his voice thick with lust. His fingers brushed against your clothed entrance, the thin fabric of your panties offering no resistance to his intentional administrations. You choked on a moan as he applied pressure to your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“N-no, my prince,” you gasped, attempting to clench your thighs together but he wasn’t allowing that at all.

“So you’re still my good girl?” Louis urged, increasing the pace of his hand.

“Y-Yes,” you bit your lip trying to hold back more embarrassing moans.

“Then say it,” Louis taunted, pinching your clit in slight pain.

“I-I’m your good girl,” you panted, eyes fluttering close.

Louis leaned over and kissed you right as he pulled your panties to the side and slid one long finger inside you. You gasped at the intrusion allowing him to shove his tongue down your throat with ease. He added another finger inside of you as he proceeded to give you the sloppiest, most erotic kiss of you life (not that you really had anything to compare it to other than the time he kissed you on the balcony.)

You were grinding against his hand while openly moaning into his mouth, beyond the point of trying to mask how turned on you were. Louis finally broke the kiss so that the two of you could catch your breath. He slid his fingers out of you, causing you to whimper in protest at their removal. He then stuck the glistening digits in his mouth, licking them clean of your juices. You looked down to see the Prince was straining with his own sense of control, his pants tenting with his own unsatisfied member.

“I’m forbidding you from seeing him,” Louis declared, adjusting his uncomfortable ‘visitor’ so that it wasn’t so noticeable.

“W-what?”

“You’re forbidden from seeing him. Or any Carnivore male for that matter. I won’t have them deflower you and that’s final,” Louis said, turning to walk away.

“You can’t do that, sire! I’m a Carnivore! I’m supposed to be with my own kind! I’m not your personal pet you can torment just because you’re bored!” You huffed, standing up from his bed.

“Exactly, but you’re too stupid to realize you’re so much more than that.” Louis scoffed, cutting his eyes back at you.

“I’m not stupid! And I’m not going to just sit here and let you just continue to humiliate me day in and day out. Not anymore. I quit,” you adjusted your uniform as best you could but Louis stood in front of the door that served as the only exit and he seemed to have no intention of moving.

“You can’t quit. I won’t allow it,”

“I don’t care what you allo-

“Let me rephrase this in a way you’ll understand then. You’re not to leave this room under any circumstance. And if you do, I’ll have you arrested for treason against the royal court and you can spend the rest of your days in the dungeons with the murderers and theives,” Louis apprehended you for a moment in case you were going to try and make a run for it but you were stunned into silence. He then turned and left his quarters, a loud resounding click ringing through the air next signified that he had indeed locked you in.

You were trapped in every sense of the word.

///////

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Lights Out 

                                                  Prologue

It's a cold and cloudy, wintry Tuesday morning, the type of day you would rather be curled up in your home with something warm, then out in the freezing cold. The streets were calm and quiet than usual, which was odd regarding Gotham City. People were bustling about through the biting chill of the breeze to their destinations, not paying any mind to one another. Among the bustling crowd is a (h/c) girl making her way to the local cafe, where she works as a barista and baker. Briskly walking to get away from the cold, she weaves her way through the crowd with thoughts of warm coffee and fresh baked goods in mind. Walking up to the front doors of the cafe, she unlocks the door letting herself in, heading to the backroom. She opens her locker and puts her stuff inside before heading behind the front counter. Putting her apron on she starts baking the pastries for the day. While preparing the mornings stock of goods,  she hears the cafe door chime, she looks up seeing her coworker walk in. "Hey Y/n. Here early as always." she says groggily. "Hey Amelia. Yeah you know I have to be here early to start baking." Y/n laughs. "Right, we'd be out of business without your delicacies. I get that but how can you be up so early?" Amelia yawns, "Well I actually wasn't sleeping. I had a couple of papers due, so I stayed up to finish them," She admitted dusting off the remaining flour on her apron, finishing the pastries. "Alright, alright, but you better go home and get some sleep after your classes," she says with a hand on her hip and the other pointing in a scolding manner. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." 'Ameila, always the mother hen,' Y/n laughs to herself, getting back to work.

        After finally opening the cafe for the early morning rush of freezing commuters, Y/n gets to work taking customer's names and orders while Amelia gets the pastries ready. It's not long before the rush comes to slow, a few people sitting around taking in the warmth before beginning their day. It's almost time for Y/n to end her shift after she takes her last order of the day, a tired looking college aged guy walks through the door bundled up in an expensive looking winter jacket with a hoodie underneath and a pair of joggers. "Hey there, Tom. Here for the usual?" the cheery (h/c) girl asks, " Yes but I think I'll try one of your pastries today." He says with a tired smile,  " What would you recommend Y/n." "Sure thing Hun. I like most of the stuff here except the lemon tart, but that's mainly because I don't care for the bitterness so early in the morning, add your plain black coffee to the mix and you're in for one hell of an after taste." She laughs and he chuckles before she continues, "But my favorite is the apple and cinnamon muffin, especially for a cold morning like this." "Yeah the lemon and black coffee doesn't sound so good, but the apple cinnamon sounds like what I need. I'll take that," Tom chuckles, paying for his coffee and muffin.

      'She seems happy even for this early in the morning,' I think. 'But isn't she always.'  Smiling to myself as I walk to my usual table in the back, I sit down and pull out my laptop checking over a paper for my first class before thinking back to the barista. I come here every morning before class for my regular coffee, trying to keep my eyes open. I use to make the long trek a few blocks away from campus before this place opened up right by my apartment. I made the lazy decision to try the place out when I couldn't make myself trudge the extra few blocks. I thank my tired state of mind for that everyday since. My first time here, it was packed, I almost walked right out, but something stopped me. With my feet rooted to their spot in line, I patiently waited my turn. When I got to the counter with my beverage already in mind, a black coffee, can't go wrong with that. I lost my train of thought though once I was greeted by the barista. 'Hello, what can I get you this morning?' Came her sweet resounding voice. I could tell she was trying to hide the tiredness in it and she was doing a good job at it too. If I didn't know any better I'd think she was a natural morning person, but being a detective aided me with miniscule things like that. 'Uh, yeah. Could I get a black coffee?' 'Sure thing! What's the name?' 'Tom,' I reply not thinking clearly, being caught off guard by both her and my tiredness 'Okay, Tom, that'll be out in a few,' she says handing me my change. I walk off to the farthest table in the back and wait for my coffee. "Order for Tom! One black coffee and a cinnamon muffin!" I'm pulled from my musings by a familiar voice calling my "name". I mentally face palm every time I remember the encounter. If Dick, Jason, or even Damian were there, they'd give me so much hell for it. I get up from my spot to get my order. "Here you go. Hope you enjoy the muffin." She smiles as I take my coffee and muffin back to my table. Sitting down again, I can't help but note the same smile she always wears, looks more like an accessory than genuine at this point. But I don't think she's realized that herself yet. 'God, what am I thinking. I don't even know the girl and I'm already trying to wrap myself up in her' I sigh putting my laptop back in my bag and leaving. As I'm walking to campus, drinking my coffee and eating the apple and cinnamon muffin, I can't help but think about how the muffin melts in my mouth. Warm and soothing, with a sweet and crisp taste. It really is good, no wonder it's her favorite. Reminds me of the cute barista,"Y/n," I whisper her name. As much as I try, I can't help but smirk as the name rolls off my tongue.

            A few minutes after "Tom" left, Y/n ended her shift, heading to her first class of the day.  The only thing on her mind being the new murder mystery book she'd gotten from the bookstore a few days before. She just couldn't wait to continue reading it again. If it wasn't the book on her mind then it was the next episode of her other new obsession; Crime Time Mysteries. A new TV series about old and new cases some solved and some unsolved. Some of the cases even happened in Gotham. Not that that was a surprise. It's the one thing that keeps Y/n in town. As odd as it sounds, crimes have become a big part of her life, in regards to books, movies, and the media. Her father was a crime author. She grew up helping her father with his ideas. So it goes without say why she can't help but be pulled in by the enigma that is Gotham. Even at the cost of her own freedom. 

                                                             Accused

What's going on?  

Where am I?

      Why am I covered in blood?    

Amelia?

        Amelia, where are you?  

   Sitting up, you looked around trying to gain your bearings. Once your eyes focus on the room room around you, you can tell your on the bathroom floor in Amelia's apartment. 'What the fuck is going on...?'  Helping yourself up, you stagger out of the bathroom, you hold yourself up against the hall walls, your legs feeling like their jelly, you have to force yourself to stay leaning on the wall. Staggering to the living room, you drag yourself from the hall to the kitchen counter, using it as leverage to support your body weight. Getting to the entrance of the kitchen leading to the living room, you slip on something, falling on your ass. Laying on the guard, you can feel something sticky all over your arms and legs. Lifting yourself up on your knees, you look at your limbs and around you seeing some sort of dark liquid all over the floor in the dark apartment.    Registering the metallic smell of blood, your not fully comprehending what you've walked out on. Your head is pounding and your whole body is numb but hurts all the same. You try to get yourself up again but fall, laying on the ground, you just stay there trying to focus on gaining your senses back.  

   Your jolted out of nowhere, having blacked out, by the sound of banging on the apartment door and you hear yelling too. Having gained feeling back in your body, you sit up again, looking around and taking in your surroundings. Your completely horrified to find yourself covered in blood. Getting up you try to stand up but you trip over something, looking over your shoulder, your petrified to see Amelia's dull, blank eyes staring at you. Screaming you try to crawl away from your dead friends body. Too caught up in your own horror, you don't notice the apartment door being kicked open. Gotham City's police department is rushing into the apartment and surrounding you. Your so confused and frightened, you're being yelled at, accused of murder.  You don't know what's even going on. You're being pulled up harshly and thrown into a wall, having your Miranda rights shouted to you. You're so out of it, you don't register your body throwing and flailing around trying to get out of the officers hold. You can't even hear your own voice as you scream that you didn't do anything.

   Finally being able to weasel yourself away from the police officers, you run to the apartment window, throwing yourself through it. Rushing after you, the officers aren't able to grab you before you've thrown yourself through the window pane, and begin to fall along the side of the apartment complex. Landing in a dumpster, you lie their for the briefest moment, before launching yourself out of the dumpster. Hooked on pure adrenaline, you're barefoot, covered in blood, wearing sleeping shorts and a tank top running down the empty alley trying to look for somewhere to go.

   Coming across a hole in the side of a building, while wandering around an alley, you try squeezing yourself through the hole, being able to get yourself through. Pulling yourself into the building, you look around seeing the place is some warehouse that looked abandoned. Sighing to yourself, you walk around, wandering up a staircase leading to an office. You sit yourself under a window, trying to calm down from all the adrenaline, you take the time to really take in your appearance. You're covered in blood and dirt, with bits and pieces of glass in your skin. Your tank top and sleep shorts are ripped and torn, and your bare feet are caked with more dirt, blood. There are even some pieces of rocks, gravel, and glass in the bottom of your feet. Trying to figure out what the hell happened, you try to focus on remembering the last thing you did. But you can't think straight, your head is throbbing. Curling in on yourself from the intense pain, you let yourself fall into a heap on the ground, giving into the overwhelming pain, you let yourself drift off again. But there won't be any peaceful sleep from this day on, only the restless need to run. Run for your freedom, for your life.  

A/n: This is a story I’ve been working on my  wattpad account. I have a few other WIPs on there too, that I might post later on depending on the feedback I get on this one, This is the story regarding the mystery/thriller obsessed Reader who ends up being accused of her best friends murder. While on the run she meets a local hero who can already tell that Y/n is innocent. They offer to help her prove her innocence. With her knowledge of crime based media, the hero and Y/n compile all the evidence that’ll prove her innocence, once and for all. Along the way they’ll come across heroes and villains alike, who all have their own intentions for being involved. 

[thisaliennerd]

can you please elaborate on why you think kurt is the toxic abusive one in the klaine relationship? maybe i’m biased but i don’t see it.

Yes, I absolutely can, thank you for asking! I’ll start with the basic points and then I’ll elaborate with examples under the cut in case y’all don’t feel like reading an actual essay today. (I’ve also put the link to the google doc in my linktree in my bio which might be a more accessible way to read this as it is a 25 page essay)

Kurt takes every opportunity to tear Blaine down and takes advantage of Blaine’s compulsive need to help/build up the people he loves, to ensure that he has as much power over Blaine as possible

He refuses to talk about problems in the relationship (of which there are many) when they arise, sometimes actively shutting Blaine down when he tries to talk about it, but gets angry when the problems worsen, accuses Blaine of pulling away, and puts the emotional burden on him

He refuses to acknowledge his own fault in ANYTHING, both in his relationship with Blaine and in his other relationships

When they aren’t together, Kurt drags Blaine along, sabotages and undermines Blaine’s relationships, and refuses to allow him to move on, all while actively pursuing other relationships himself, ensuring that Blaine is always there as a fallback plan

He is INCREDIBLY jealous, even before he had any reason to think that Blaine would cheat, despite Blaine repeatedly shutting down people’s (read: Sebastian’s) advances, and Kurt frequently flirting with and playing into people flirting him while dating Blaine

He says he loves Blaine, but he also implies that if anyone else came along that could make him feel the same way, he would leave

He is rarely supportive of Blaine in general, especially if he isn’t doing something that could potentially help Kurt, in contrast to Blaine being pretty relentlessly supportive of Kurt in everything he does

He holds the things that Blaine’s done wrong in their relationship over his head, even after claiming to forgive him

He’s just pretty selfish and narcissistic in general 

So, let’s go deeper into it, these are complicated and nuanced issues, and I’m sure you need more evidence than just some bullet points, especially for such a popular ship.

Power Dynamics

Let’s start by analyzing the power dynamics between Blaine and Kurt throughout the show and how it affects their relationship. When we meet Blaine in season 2 episode 6, Kurt is in an incredibly vulnerable place, dealing with intense bullying and homophobia at school. Blaine, despite only being (presumably) fifteen and a sophomore, is astoundingly poised and confident. This is where we see Blaine at his happiest. He seems very sure of himself, and this stands in stark contrast to Kurt. Upon seeing this in Kurt, Blaine quickly opens up, sharing that he had a similar experience not too long ago. He gives Kurt advice, encouraging him not to give up and to have courage, building Kurt up. He even comes to McKinley, seemingly during school hours, to confront Karofsky with Kurt. Throughout this, he is calm, comforting, and continues to build Kurt up as best he can. This behavior continues from Blaine as the season continues. Once Kurt transfers to Dalton, Blaine is in a minor position of power as the lead singer of the Warblers, however, he routinely uses this power to keep building Kurt up. He laughs at Kurt’s jokes (s2e9), gives him advice on how to integrate into the new environment (s2e9), and even gets him a lead in a song for Regionals (s2e16). However, when Kurt transfers to Dalton, we begin to see a different side of him. He becomes exceptionally bitter and jealous of Blaine. We see him getting upset over Blaine getting solos in multiple episodes (s2e9, s2e16), despite how kind and accommodating Blaine has been. He openly criticizes Blaine’s performances, saying that they’re all the same (s2e16), and this marks the first example of Kurt tearing Blaine down. Blaine gives up the opportunity for another solo and risks his position by standing up to the Warblers and telling them he wants to sing a duet with Kurt (s2e16). Kurt is also very dismissive of Blaine’s identity struggles. The first and most notable example of this being in season 2 episode 14. Blaine questions whether he might be bisexual and Kurt is not only biphobic but also dismisses Blaine’s crisis. He tries to dictate Blaine’s identity and is passive-aggressive and bitter for the rest of the episode. We get several more examples of this early in season 3. 

In season 3 episode 1, Kurt pressures Blaine to transfer to McKinley, even saying that he was being passive-aggressive, something we’ll see Kurt do often in arguments going forward. Although he maintains a playful tone of voice, it’s very clear that he isn’t joking. Blaine expresses concerns about leaving his friends, and Kurt implies that he isn’t sure that their new relationship can survive if he doesn’t come to WMHS, stopping just shy of actually putting the ultimatum out there, but certainly implying it. Blaine decides to transfer, a move that not only screams codependency but also further brings Blaine down. Kurt is back in his element, he’s a senior, this is his school, whereas Blaine is now a newbie as a junior, abandoning his role as lead of the Warblers for Kurt. And although Blaine initially claims that he came for him, it’s obvious that that isn’t the case, and Blaine confirms that he did it for Kurt later (s4e3, s4e7). In episode 2, Kurt works to further limit Blaine by convincing him not to audition for Tony. Here we see an example of Kurt’s manipulation. He never explicitly tells Blaine not to audition, but just makes passive-aggressive comments until Blaine decides not to audition, asserting his power over him. Again, Blaine is giving up opportunities in order to maintain his relationship with Kurt. Blaine even hesitates to read for Tony when directly asked, because he’s worried about how Kurt will react. And sure enough, Kurt is visibly upset when Blaine’s asked, and while it’s reasonable that he would be disappointed, he shouldn’t have put that on Blaine at all. We see the culmination of this little storyline at the beginning of episode 3, and on first watch, this seems like a sweet scene. Kurt congratulates Blaine for getting Tony, gives him flowers, and says he’s proud of him. However, it’s in Blaine’s reaction that we see the problem. He says, “You always zig when I think you’re about to zag, and I love that about you,” and again, this almost seems sweet, but the undertones of that comment are that Blaine didn’t think that Kurt would be supportive. He was genuinely worried that his boyfriend wouldn’t support him getting the lead in the musical. We see that throughout season 3, Blaine struggles in the New Directions. He tries to fit in, but the group is immediately antagonistic towards him, refusing to listen to his ideas. Kurt says nothing about this, even when it comes from Finn. He doesn’t call them out, he doesn’t even comfort Blaine about it. They spend most of this season pretty equal, but this isn’t enough for Kurt, as he gets his NYADA audition and begins to rise in status, he also continues to tear down Blaine. Flashing forward to episode 17, we see a lot of issues come to the surface here, which will come back later, but we also see more of Kurt tearing down Blaine. Kurt says that it’s hard being Blaine’s boyfriend because he’s “an Alpha gay”. He complains that he doesn’t get solos, implying that it’s Blaine’s fault, even blatantly lying by saying that he used to get solos every week. He manipulates Blaine, putting the fault on him, refusing to apologize for his actions, only apologizing for how it made Blaine feel. Eventually, Blaine is the one forced to apologize. This conversation is especially interesting in comparison to their conversation in season 5 episode 16, but we’ll come back to that. First, let’s talk about season 4. 

In season 4 episode 1, their power dynamic has shifted yet again, Kurt got rejected from NYADA and Blaine was a senior and lead singer again. Kurt is clearly uncomfortable with this, but Blaine just continues to lift up Kurt. He tells him to New York and gives Kurt the confidence he needs to follow his dreams. Here’s where their relationship begins to fall apart. Now that Kurt is in New York, he immediately encounters success at Vogue, and as soon as he does, he pulls away from Blaine. He is now way above Blaine, and Kurt doesn’t need him anymore. He feels like Blaine is only limiting him. He prioritizes his success and career over Blaine, which is of course, fine when he does it, but not fine when Blaine does it. He actively ignores Blaine, not just to do his work, but also just to gossip and chat with his coworkers (s4e3), even when he knew that it was an important night for Blaine. He minimizes Blaine’s concerns and successes, talking over him and constantly pivoting the conversation back to himself (s4e3). Then, of course, comes the breakup in episode 4. Blaine explains that he did what he did because he felt that Kurt was moving on. Now of course this doesn’t justify what Blaine did, but throughout all the conversations about this incident, Kurt never acknowledges that he had any part in what happened, again putting one hundred percent of the burden on Blaine (s4e4). This continues throughout the season. Blaine constantly has to apologize, but Kurt never has to, because everything wrong with the relationship prior to Blaine cheating gets ignored. The breakup destroys Blaine’s self-esteem, and it becomes very evident that Blaine doesn't know who he is without Kurt. Kurt has successfully taken a very confident young man, made him dependent on him, and then not only left him but ghosted him (s4e8), completely wrecking him. He purposely didn’t forgive Blaine to hurt him (s4e8). It's Blaine’s senior year, he's finally made it back to where he was in season 2, and now he's not even able to play the lead in the musical. Blaine has hit rock bottom, and just as he starts to recover, getting a crush on Sam, becoming closer with Tina, gaining some self-respect and confidence back, Kurt reenters Blaine’s life. We’ll talk about this more later, but Kurt decides to lead Blaine on, keeping him dependent on Kurt, not allowing him to move on (s4e8, s4e14). For example, he calls Blaine right before he’s about to perform at sectionals only to remind him that he still hasn’t forgiven him, and tells him that they can see each other at Christmas, even though he decides not to go back for Christmas not two episodes later (s4e8, s4e10). Then he hooks up with Blaine at Will’s wedding, even though he doesn’t want to get back together and he knows how Blaine feels about him (s4e14). This continues for the rest of the season. At this point, Kurt holds all the power over Blaine. He is not only successful in the outside world, working at Vogue and going to NYADA, but he has also destroyed Blaine’s self-confidence and ensured that Blaine is dependent on Kurt. On to season 5. 

In season 5 episode 1, we get the reunion. This scene is another scene like the Lima Bean scene in season 3. It seems cute and romantic, Kurt plays it in a playful way, but in a closer analysis, it becomes more insidious. Blaine begs Kurt to get back with him, and he talks about how they’ve effectively been dating for weeks. At the end of the scene, Kurt reveals that he intended to say yes the whole time, as he had prepared a song, but before he says yes, he puts Blaine through some more manipulative games. Kurt keeps his voice light, but Blaine is very earnest, clearly taking it to heart. Blaine asks Kurt to be his boyfriend again, and Kurt says he doesn’t think it’ll work, because last time, Blaine cheated. Blaine gets very upset, saying that they’ve been over this and that he’ll “never ever cheat on [Kurt] again”. Kurt says that he wants Blaine to sign a contract, and Blaine says that he’ll sign anything as long as Kurt will get back together with him. These lines are interesting because Kurt sounds like he’s joking, but Blaine absolutely doesn’t. He is so desperate to get Kurt back, and Kurt, who again, has already decided to get back with Blaine, is dragging this out and holding the cheating over Blaine’s head. But Kurt still doesn’t let it go. He says that he’s not even sure if relationships work, requiring Blaine to keep begging. Finally, he agrees to get back together, but it’s clear in this scene that Kurt enjoys having this power over Blaine, and he likes making Blaine beg for forgiveness. He made him do so for the entirety of season 4. I’ll talk more about the proposal later, but here I would like to point out that the use of All You Need is Love is interesting, because there is much more to a functional relationship, but generally, these two seem to ignore this because they love each other. They spend the first half of season 5 separate and don’t interact often, however, when they do talk, it is still clear that Kurt, as an adult out in the world, holds supremacy over Blaine, and when they do talk, Kurt often belittles Blaine’s high school problems in favor of talking about his own, insulting Blaine and then pivoting the conversation to him as soon as he can (s5e7). In fact, Kurt is so unsupportive that Blaine has to make a puppet version of him just to get validation and forgiveness (s5e7). We even see Kurt controlling what Blaine wears multiple times (s5e6, s5e14). Blaine has been built up more from season 4, but this is only because he’s back with Kurt, again reinforcing his dependence on Kurt. The next major conflict in their relationship comes in episode 14. Blaine has just moved to New York and in with Kurt. Their new power dynamic is solidifying. Blaine is adjusting to a big change, and he's struggling with it. He's trying his best to be with Kurt in this new environment, but he’s not sure how to handle it. He’s intimidated by how sure of himself Kurt is and just wants to find a place for himself in Kurt’s life. His solution is to try and do things for Kurt. It worked in high school, but here, it only pushes Kurt away further. Kurt feels suffocated by Blaine, but he openly lies to Blaine about it, refusing to address it until it reaches a boiling point (which he does often). Desperate, Blaine tries to carve out a place in the apartment for himself, but Kurt hates this. He becomes aggressive, claiming that the apartment is his, and not theirs and that Blaine shouldn’t be making changes. At the end of the episode, Blaine is the one who suggests the solution of him moving out, pointing out that they never had a conversation about him moving in in the first place. During this conversation, Blaine is very earnest again, constantly reassuring Kurt that he doesn’t want to break up, and is physically very intense, trying to make eye contact, moving to connect with Kurt, and initiating a hug, while Kurt feels completely detached, avoiding eye contact, keeping his voice monotone, and looking pretty disinterested. Sidenote: In this episode, Kurt also demands that Blaine ask Sam to move out even though he’s the one who wants him gone in the first place.

But the most compelling evidence comes in episode 16. Blaine has been in the city for a little while now but is still struggling to find himself. He’s started gaining some weight from comfort eating and he’s insecure about it. In this episode, the textual focus is actually on the change in their power dynamic, so here is where it’s most obvious. Blaine feels uncomfortable with Kurt being hit on by other men, but it’s shown that Kurt isn’t shutting these advances down at all. Blaine feels distinctly inferior to Kurt, and it’s fueling his insecurities. Kurt notices that Blaine’s insecure, but decides not to talk to him about it. Instead, he repeatedly comments on the food that Blaine’s eating, reinforcing Blaine’s insecurities about his weight, and tearing Blaine down further. There’s also an interesting scene in this episode where Kurt, Blaine, Artie, and Sam are all out getting dinner together, and Sam asks about a free clinic to get tested for STDs. Kurt answers and then throws in a comment about the time Blaine cheated. This visibly upsets Blaine, but he also seems annoyed by the comment. It’s wholly unnecessary and doesn’t add anything to the conversation, all it does is make Blaine feel bad. This is the second time this season we’ve seen Kurt bring this up for no reason and the casualness of the comment coupled with Blaine’s reaction implies that this may be something he brings up frequently. At this point, Blaine has again been brought low, the confidence he had temporarily built backup is gone because it was all based on Kurt. Kurt is at least somewhat aware of this but still doesn’t talk to Blaine about it. He halfheartedly reassures Blaine about his body (a surface symptom of the deeper problem) in between comments about his food, even convincing Blaine not to eat the (perfectly reasonable) food he made in favor of a salad. Then, he discovers a porn website on Blaine’s computer. He becomes very upset and angry about this, while Blaine is visibly uncomfortable. Kurt verbally says that Blaine can do whatever he wants on his own computer but gets increasingly angry. He yells at Blaine about how they haven’t had sex in a week but doesn’t question why, he just storms out. In the next scene they have together, Blaine enters their stage combat class, where Kurt already is, late. This already puts Kurt in higher standing within his environment. Blaine is angry and asks Kurt why he didn’t tell him that he didn’t want to walk to class together. Kurt is dismissive and says he just forgot, but his tone and body language doesn’t support this. Blaine asks if Kurt is still upset about the website, and Kurt says no, but his tone is still angry and dismissive. Blaine then suggests that they should talk about the fight, but Kurt shuts it down, saying, “You know, Blaine, sometimes I think we talk too much”. They start fencing, and Kurt, who knows that Blaine’s been struggling in this class, both with the content and with making friends, publicly embarrasses him in front of the whole class. Later, they finally have a conversation, but again, this is only happening after their problems reach a boiling point. Kurt comes home and asks Blaine what happened in combat class, saying “you were really coming at me,” not acknowledging that he too, was aggressive in his fighting, and being very confrontational (including closed-off body language). Blaine reveals that he feels like he has to prove himself. He feels like he’s falling behind Kurt and is unable to support and protect him, which had previously been an important aspect of their relationship all the way until Blaine moved to New York. Kurt is immediately unreceptive and angry. He says that Blaine shouldn’t want to be superior to Kurt and that they should want to be equals. Blaine quickly apologizes, feeling even worse about himself, but Blaine never says that he wants to be superior, just that he feels so far behind Kurt, and as we’ve established, Kurt has been systematically tearing Blaine down for years. Blaine tells Kurt that he feels terrible about himself and his body and feels like Kurt is going to judge him. Kurt claims that he would never judge Blaine, but again, had been making comments about the amount and type of food Blaine was eating. Blaine then says that he’s afraid that if he can’t do things for Kurt, Kurt will outgrow him, and once he no longer needs him, will stop loving him. This isn’t an unreasonable fear, as this is similar to what had happened when Kurt first moved to New York, but this also expresses a deeper fear of Blaine’s that can be traced back to his childhood. As shown in season 3 episode 15, Blaine had a very bad relationship with his older brother, Cooper. Cooper is shown as very selfish, always needing Blaine to be doing things for him and making every conversation about him. This not only mirrors a lot of Kurt’s behavior but also explains why Blaine feels he will be abandoned if he can’t do things for people. It’s already happened to him. Kurt says that he would never leave Blaine, which also proves to be false in season 6, but he also says that Blaine needs to tell him when he feels this way. However, Blaine tried twice, in the porn fight scene and in the stage combat scene, to talk about it, and Kurt shut it down both times. Again, Kurt is putting all the emotional burden on Blaine, deflecting his own fault, and gaslighting Blaine about previous events. Finally, they make up, but in the final scene, Blaine seems to have developed an eating disorder, and Kurt says that they have decided to eat out less often and work out more, but Kurt was already doing those things. Another example of Kurt trying to control what Blaine eats. 

Moving on to the rest of season 5, in episode 18, Kurt invites Blaine to perform with him for June Dolloway. Blaine kills his performance and June asks only him to be her project. Suddenly, their dynamic has shifted again. This is a major success for Blaine, and Kurt’s been stalling recently. Blaine now has a lot more power and we see a glimpse of the old Blaine return when he performs for and with June. However, Kurt doesn’t react well to this throughout Blaine’s time with June. Immediately once Blaine gets picked, Blaine feels guilty about it, almost turning it down. Kurts assures him that it’s fine, but qualifies it by saying that it’ll be good for both of them, even saying it’s “[their] careers” instead of Blaine’s career. Later in the episode, Blaine and Kurt are finally having time together after Blaine has been spending a lot of time with June, Kurt says, “I’m upset with you,” and Blaine immediately looks terrified. He freezes, tenses, and panics. He’s walking on eggshells around Kurt, and no one should ever be scared of their partner. As with the flowers scene in season 3, Blaine is genuinely worried that Kurt will be upset about him taking an opportunity because Kurt wanted it for himself. Kurt is generally only supportive when it’s potentially beneficial to him. Blaine is so worried about upsetting Kurt that he decides to lie to him and tell him that he’s in the showcase June is organizing for Blaine. In episode 19, Blaine gives up a big opportunity with June to go to Kurt’s show, and then the storyline finishes in episode 20. Blaine fails to convince June to let Kurt into the showcase and is forced to confess to Kurt. Blaine attempts to explain the situation, but Kurt says he can’t trust Blaine or anything he says, and then reacts physically, throwing a bag of food onto the floor. Blaine jumps to his feet, apologizing and explaining that he didn’t know what else to do because he was scared of hurting Kurt’s feelings, but Kurt just storms out. Now, of course, Blaine shouldn’t have lied, but only a few episodes earlier in episode 14, Kurt lied about Blaine not crowding him so as not to hurt his feelings. Kurt does similar things all the time, but Blaine has to suffer for it. Later in episode 20, Kurt and Blaine talk again. Blaine, visibly upset, says that he doesn’t want to do the showcase because Kurt is more important to him, implying that he thinks he has to give up a major opportunity for his career for Kurt. Kurt responds by coming up with a confusing metaphor, waxing poetic at Blaine (sarcasm and figures of speech are something that Blaine already struggles to understand throughout the show), dragging it out, and making it sound very bad, so Blaine keeps apologizing. Then Kurt finally stops him. He says he understands what happened, and even, for the first time, takes some responsibility. He acknowledges that the way he was acting would have led Blaine to believe that lying was the only option. This is Kurt’s best reaction to a fight across the show, but it shouldn’t have gotten here. And because, yet again, Kurt pushed Blaine until he snapped and messed up, Kurt is the one with the power. He’s the one to forgive, and Blaine is the one who has to relentlessly apologize and then thank Kurt when he forgives him. And sure enough, because Blaine is so dependent on Kurt, he is incredibly relieved when Kurt forgives him, and thanks him repeatedly. He’s very physical here too, hugging Kurt, but Kurt is, again, very closed off, not very receptive. Blaine, again suggests that he won’t do the showcase without Kurt, and although Kurt does tell him to do it, it’s insane that this is even a question in Blaine’s mind. Plus the whole “I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” “Yeah pretty much,” interaction just rubs me the wrong way. In the end, Blaine risks his partnership with June to sing with Kurt anyway, which again, he shouldn’t have had to do. Every time Blaine is more successful, he tries to lift Kurt up to his level, even when it’s risky for him, but Kurt constantly tears Blaine down, even when he’s in a better position. Finally (for this point), let’s talk about the trainwreck that is season 6.

Season 6 is a lot more complex when it comes to power dynamics specifically. At the beginning of episode 1, they've broken up, and it’s had a profound effect on Blaine. He got very depressed, which makes sense, because he’s become so reliant on Kurt, got cut from NYADA, had to move back to Lima, and he wasn’t even able to play music for a while. He still seems to be struggling emotionally, while Kurt is in New York at NYADA, and initially, in the episode, it seems like Kurt is doing well. However, when Kurt comes back to Lima this shifts again. Kurt wants to get back together with Blaine, but Blaine is dating someone else, Dave Karofsky, and seems fairly happy in this new relationship. And because the focus of their arc this season is their journey to get back together, at this point, Blaine holds more power. It doesn’t matter that Kurt is in a better place in his life and career, because not only is that not the focus, but Kurt is now also in Lima. Blaine has begun the process to move on from Kurt, and this has happened once previously in their relationship, back in season 4, and just like in season 4, right as Blaine begins to move on, Kurt decides to reenter his life. Of course, the difference here is that Kurt hasn’t attempted to move on like he did in season 4. His sole purpose is to get Blaine back, and this actually gives Blaine more power because Kurt is openly pursuing him, instead of subtly leading him on. But before we continue with season 6, let’s do a closer analysis of the breakup scene, because I think, like season 5 episode 16, it illustrates a lot of the problems in the relationship very clearly. 

This scene is shown via flashback, and Kurt is the one having the flashback. This is interesting because it’s been established, at this point in the episode, that Blaine and Kurt have been broken up for months, and based on Kurt’s reaction to this memory, this is the first time Kurt has dealt with the breakup. We see he remembers this scene, starts crying, and then the next time we see him, he’s back in Lima to get Blaine back. So, the flashback begins with Blaine arriving at the restaurant, it’s raining heavily. Kurt is already there, waiting for him. Blaine is very happy. He apologizes for being slightly late, explaining that it’s because of the rain and because he had stopped to check on a venue for their wedding. He seems very excited about this venue. The camera pans over and we see Kurt’s face for the first time. He looks annoyed, and he asks why he’s always the first to arrive. Blaine’s face falls a little but he explains again, repeating that he found a venue that’s available for their wedding, still excited about it. Kurt, again, doesn’t respond to this and just changes the subject to ordering food, annoyed. Blaine’s face changes, and he seems to register that Kurt isn’t going to respond positively to this step in the wedding planning. He says that he doesn’t want to fight, but he feels like he’s the one who’s been doing all the wedding planning. Kurt says nothing, just passive-aggressively puts down his menu, and stares at Blaine in an accusatory way. Blaine, very genuinely and earnestly, asks Kurt what’s wrong, actually begging Kurt to just talk to him, and asks him if he’s having second thoughts about the wedding. Kurt doesn’t flat out answer the question, instead, he says, “Have you noticed how exhausting it’s been ever since you moved back in?” The way the question is phrased puts the fault on Blaine in two ways. First, it asks him if he’s noticed that living together has been exhausting, instead of Kurt saying that he, personally, has been struggling. It frames it as an objective truth that Blaine has failed to notice. Secondly, Kurt says, “since you moved back in” putting the struggle to live together on Blaine. He doesn’t say, since we started living together again, or since we moved back in, he says, since you moved back in. This also has undertones that Blaine is an outsider in Kurt’s home. An invading force, rather than a partnership, and it implies that Kurt has made no progress in the weeks or months since season 5 episode 14 and that allowing Blaine to put in the office space was just a surface level change (s5e20). Kurt angrily brings up a fight that they had over him wiping his mouth off with a towel while there was toothpaste on his face. His tone indicates that he thinks that this is a stupid fight over nothing, but Blaine responds, “Well, how is someone else supposed to use it when you leave it like that”. This suggests that this genuinely matters to him, and not that he was picking a fight over nothing, as Kurt seems to think. Moreover, the way Blaine says it is a bit angry, which is a little unusual for him, and could indicate that Kurt often brushes off these things that bother Blaine. Kurt, getting increasingly angry, says that he thinks that they’re failing at living together. Blaine, also getting angry, says “Thank you for finally saying something truthful. Where's that guy been...you’ve been completely aloof and...totally remote and distant. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore”. These lines give a lot of insight into their relationship. As we’ve discussed, when they fight, Kurt tends to get very closed off and withdrawn, something we also see in this scene. Even as Blaine is saying these things, Kurt is withdrawn, not making eye contact, and passive-aggressively nodding. But this line suggests that this is something Kurt does whenever there are any problems. This is also supported by previous fights, see season 5 episode 16, and season 3 episode 20. Kurt doesn’t like talking about relationship problems (or even potential problems like in s3e20), and instead just avoids them, often meaning that Blaine ends up needing to handle it. Blaine continues by saying, “I feel like you’re just silently judging me”. This is the second time Blaine has expressed concerns about Kurt judging him during a fight (the first time was in s5e16), which could speak to his own insecurities, however, the Blaine we see in season 2, was not like this. He had some normal teenage doubts, but this kind of deep-seated insecurity wasn’t present. This has slowly been introduced to Blaine’s character throughout his relationship with Kurt, and although Kurt says he wouldn’t judge Blaine (s5e16), as we discussed, he does. Blaine constantly feeling judged by Kurt even after season 5 episode 16 suggests that Kurt hasn’t actually changed any of his behaviors and is still making comments that make Blaine uncomfortable. Blaine asks if Kurt even wants to marry him, and Kurt blurts out, “Maybe I don’t!” He then withdraws back into himself again, looking away and refusing to answer when Blaine asks him what changed. Since Kurt refuses to speak, Blaine starts to cry and asks Kurt if he did something to cause this. Kurt still doesn’t respond. Blaine says that he loves Kurt and that he knows that they can make it work. Kurt says that he loves Blaine too, but that they’re too young and that they should give up before they hate each other. This exchange, too, shows the differences in how they approach this relationship. Blaine is willing to work on the relationship. He wants to be with Kurt, and he would go to the end of the earth to keep them together. Kurt isn’t willing to do this. He just wants the relationship to function without working for it. And because Blaine is very dependent on the relationship for his confidence and self-esteem, he is generally willing to do much more work to maintain it than Kurt. But because Kurt isn’t willing to discuss problems until after a blow-up, that’s still not enough. Kurt has kept his voice and face empty and cold for most of the fight, and even as Blaine breaks down, he maintains this. Blaine tells Kurt that he’ll never forgive him, and then the flashback ends.

The season 6 break up fight is distinct from the others in that both the show and Kurt himself acknowledge that it was Kurt’s fault. He’s the one who needs to apologize, and this changes the power dynamic too. In all the other fights, in the end, Blaine is the one who apologizes, so Kurt has the power to accept or reject said apology. The texting fight in season 3 is the most similar, but Blaine is framed as unreasonable for being upset during that fight and in the end, he’s the one who ends up apologizing and resolving the issues. But this fight also doesn’t resolve itself immediately. Kurt’s apology doesn’t fix their relationship, and they stay broken up for most of the season. However, their power dynamic doesn’t stay the same for the rest of the season. The first real shift comes in episode 4. Up until this point, Blaine has seemed pretty comfortable in his relationship and Kurt has been chasing Blaine and not seeing anyone else. This changes in episode 4 though, Kurt starts talking to a guy online, Walter, and when he tells Blaine about it, it becomes incredibly clear that Blaine hasn’t gotten over Kurt. His relationship is being sabotaged, so that tether to moving forward is weakened. While Blaine obviously isn’t over Kurt, he is very supportive of Kurt trying to move on and doesn’t say anything bad to Kurt about it. And while his body language and tone indicate that he is sad about Kurt moving on, it’s much more bittersweet than anything. This contrasts with Kurt’s reaction to finding out about Karofsky. He’s been bitter, angry, and up until this episode was undermining their relationship with snide comments. At this point, they’ve leveled out, Kurt is entering a new relationship, and Blaine’s relationship is on shaky ground. Episodes 5 and 6 continue this pattern, as Blaine and Karofsky get rockier and Kurt and Walter get stronger. Kurt now is back above Blaine. He’s moving on, but he’s still available, but Blaine is getting pulled back into Kurt and is in a relationship. Episode 7 is where we see another major change in their relationship. Kurt manipulates the random duet wheel to get Blaine chosen as his duet partner even though he’s kind of dating Walter. Blaine mentions that Dave still thinks that there’s something between Kurt and Blaine. Then, after they sing their duet, they start talking about their relationship, specifically their early relationship in season 2, and Blaine kisses Kurt. Before the kiss, they’re talking about their first duet, way back before they even started dating, which was when Blaine was his happiest and most confident. This brings back false nostalgia for a time when Blaine was both confident and happy with Kurt, a time that never really existed since Kurt started tearing Blaine down right as they start dating. However, memories like this are what is being conjured for Blaine, and in an effort to recapture this, he kisses Kurt. Of course, he has a boyfriend, so immediately afterward he rushes off. Now the power is wholly on Kurt. Blaine has betrayed his new relationship and his feelings. He’s revealed that he’s still in love with Kurt, and now Kurt, just like season 4, has two vying love interests. Kurt has the power to choose, whereas Blaine’s relationship with Karofsky is doomed. More than that, Kurt has actively been pursuing Blaine even through this episode, and he's done the thing he always does where he pushes right up to something without explicitly crossing boundaries until Blaine snaps and acts. In this particular situation, this has flipped the power dynamic so now instead of Kurt having to try and get Blaine to come back to him, Blaine is the one who’s going to try and go back to Kurt. Sure enough, Blaine and Dave break up and Blaine goes to try and get back together with Kurt, but Kurt is going out with Walter. Blaine says nothing, he doesn’t criticize Walter or say anything snarky, he just lets Kurt go, reinforcing that Kurt has the power. In episode 8 we get the reunion. Kurt cuts it off with Walter, but the way he does so is interesting. He says, “I’m going to the wedding with Blaine,” but he hadn’t asked Blaine to get back together with him or go to the wedding with him. He seems so sure that it’ll work out with Blaine, even though he doesn’t seem to know that Blaine and Dave broke up. He shows up at Blaine’s apartment, confesses his love, and asks Blaine to go to the wedding with him. And initially, it may seem like Blaine has the power here, but on deeper inspection, there isn’t any risk here for Kurt, and he knows this. The second Blaine kissed Kurt, it becomes clear that Blaine would go back to him as soon as Kurt would take him. Their interaction here shows this, Kurt does say, “Unless there’s someone else,” but it’s tacked on, a formality (I also think this line shows that he didn’t know about Karofsky), and Blaine immediately responds, “There’s no one else”. He doesn’t even hesitate. When it comes down to it, Kurt is the only person for Blaine. 

But let’s briefly sidebar and talk about how that isn’t true for Kurt, and how that gives him power over Blaine. Kurt doesn’t really care about who Blaine is, he cares how Blaine is making him feel, and if someone else came along that could make him feel that way, he would probably leave. This is a bold claim to make, so let’s look at some evidence. In season 5 episode 1, Kurt talks to Burt about whether he should say yes to Blaine’s proposal. On this car ride, he looks nauseous and wildly uncomfortable. He tells Burt that he isn’t sure if he wants to marry Blaine, and says “[Blaine] makes me feel so connected and so safe and loved, and I don’t think I’m ever going to find someone else who’s going to make me feel like that”. He says he loves Blaine, but that statement also implies that if someone else came along that could do those things, Blaine would lose the thing that makes him valuable to Kurt. Blaine’s proposal speaks to how well he knows Kurt, it’s grand, romantic, and nostalgic. It’s everything that Kurt enjoys, but Kurt seems uncomfortable through most of it. Blaine is relentlessly supportive of Kurt, but Kurt rarely supports Blaine, because what he values in Blaine is what he can do for him. In his wedding vows he talks about how Blaine pushes the shadows away from Kurt so he can shine (s6e8). That’s what’s most important to him. Kurt tries to date Adam, and initially, he seems to really click with him. Adam compliments Kurt a lot (s4e11), and as shown in season 3 episode 17, this is something that Kurt responds to. However, once he realizes that this doesn’t fulfill him in the same way (s4e15), he drops Adam very quickly (s5e1). Every time Blaine looks at Kurt, it’s so clear how in love with Kurt he is, but very rarely do we see this in Kurt. This gives Kurt the ability to mess around and play with Blaine’s feelings, knowing that if he ever wants to come back to Blaine, he’ll be there. Because there’s no one else.

Finishing season 6, Blaine and Kurt decide to get married (well, Blaine makes the call because Kurt refuses to give straight answers to anyone), and we’ve looked at Kurt’s vows, but let’s look at Blaine’s. Blaine says that he didn’t think that he would ever find love (s6e8). This is pretty worrying. Blaine was fifteen when he met Kurt, and he’s only nineteen or twenty now, so this speaks to how deep Blaine’s insecurities run at this point in his life. After the wedding, Blaine and Kurt seem to be in a good place. Their relationship isn’t the focus of the rest of the season, so we don’t see much of them until episode 13, but they seem to be on equal ground. Then in episode 13, we get a powerful insight into the direction their relationship is headed, but it’s actually not the flashforward. Early in the episode, Blaine and Sam have a conversation about Sam coming back to New York. Sam says no, and one of the reasons he cites is that there are too many sports teams and he doesn’t know who to root for. Blaine responds, “We just root for whichever one’s winning,” and Sam says, “Ok, that’s something Kurt would say”. This is already concerning on its own, but Blaine just says, “That’s what happens when you get married”. Football is something that Blaine has always liked. In season 2 episode 7, Blaine mentions that he’s a college football fan, and in that scene, Kurt changes the subject almost immediately. Then, in season 4 episode 10, we see Blaine and Burt bonding over sports. It’s something that he’s always liked, and him starting to have this sucked out of him is concerning. Kurt is slowly taking away Blaine’s interests, controlling him more. Sam even looks worried when Blaine says this. In that same scene, Blaine almost sounds like he’s trying to convince himself that he’s happy, or at least convince Sam that there’s nothing wrong. Finally, we see Blaine and Kurt five years later. They seem happy, but they’re having a baby, and while there’s nothing strictly wrong with that, having a baby as performers in their mid-twenties (24-26) seems like an odd choice. Both of them can’t work 8 shows a week and have a child, so what’s their plan going forward. They’re so young, in New York, there’s no reason for it. To wrap up this section of the analysis, Blaine is introduced as a very confident young man, but Kurt systematically tears Blaine down in order to not only feel superior to Blaine but also to control him. He frequently talks about how important trust is in a relationship, and he weaponizes this against Blaine, constantly telling him how he doesn’t trust him (s4e7, s5e17, s5e20). He lies to Blaine, demeans his feelings and accomplishments, and manipulates him.

Support: Blaine vs. Kurt

Earlier, I presented the claim that Kurt isn’t very supportive of Blaine, especially in comparison to how supportive Blaine is, and how this coupled with the amount Kurt tears Blaine down creates an environment where Kurt has a lot of power and control over Blaine, so here are some examples of this. The first example of Kurt being supportive of Blaine comes in season 2 episode 12. Kurt convinces the Warblers to do the Gap Attack, but when he realizes that he isn’t the guy Blaine has a crush on and it no longer benefits him, he has to be talked into even going by Mercedes and Rachel. As discussed, in season 3 episode 3, Kurt congratulates Blaine on getting Tony, but this is only after discouraging Blaine to audition and being visibly upset when he was asked to read for Tony. In season 3 episode 11, Kurt is pretty good about Blaine’s surgery, however, he doesn’t even consult Blaine or his family when he gets direct evidence of Sebastian committing a felony, just hands the evidence over to Sebastian. In season 3 episode 15, Kurt gives Blaine advice on talking to Cooper, but this is after he spent the entire episode fawning over him when it clearly made Blaine uncomfortable. In season 3 episode 19, Kurt tells Blaine not to put hair gel back in after Brittney forces him to take it out at prom. However, this comes after Kurt mocked Blaine’s insecurities and laughed at him when he showed up to prom with his hair out. We see little to no examples of Kurt being supportive after he leaves for New York. The next time we see Kurt being supportive of Blaine comes in season 5 episode 6. Blaine is freaking out about auditioning for NYADA, and Kurt is very gentle and calming. However, this isn’t wholly unselfish. Kurt wants Blaine to come to New York, to go to the same school as him, it’s season 3 episode 1 all over again. He even pressured Blaine to sing at the diner when he looked visibly uncomfortable with it in the name of support. We also see him celebrating Blaine getting into NYADA in episode 12, but this is the bare minimum of support. He is cautiously supportive of Blaine getting picked up by June, but this is also selfish. He talks multiple times about how this will benefit his career (s5e18), and him eventually telling Blaine to do the showcase even without him is, again, the absolute bare minimum (s5e20). However, there are a few times where Kurt was genuinely supportive of Blaine without an ulterior motive. The first example of this is in season 2 episode 20. Kurt asks Blaine to prom, but Blaine tells Kurt that he was bullied at a Sadie Hawking’s dance before he transferred to Dalton. Kurt is immediately sympathetic and encourages him to stand up to the bullies while saying that if Blaine is uncomfortable with going, they won’t. And in season 6 episode 10 when Dalton burns down, he’s very good about handling it, but it’s saying something that those two are the only strong examples of Kurt being genuinely supportive, speaks volumes. (There are also three times in the show where Blaine tells Kurt that he loves him and Kurt either doesn’t say it back or hangs up before he even hears Blaine, once in season 4 episode 4 (5:25), once in season 5 episode 9 (12:50), and again in season 5 episode 19 (33:20), and it just bothers me a little.)

Let’s compare this to Blaine. In season 2, Blaine helps Kurt around Dalton (s2e6), helps Kurt with Karofsky (s2e6), laughs at Kurt’s jokes when no one else does (s2e9), helps Kurt adjust to the Warblers (s2e9), helps him with Pavarotti (s2e9), convinces Burt to give Kurt the sex talk (s2e15), gets Kurt a duet for Regionals and making it something that’s in Kurt’s wheelhouse (s2e16), giving Kurt a pep talk before he goes on stage (s2e16), goes to prom with Kurt despite his past trauma (s2e20), helps Kurt calm down after he’s elected prom queen (s2e20), and dances with Kurt after Karofsky runs out (s2e20). In season 3, Blaine transfers to WMHS for Kurt (s3e1), is very supportive of Kurt when he loses the student council election and tells him not to give up on NYADA (s3e7), pushes Kurt out of the way, and takes Sebastian’s Slushee (s3e11), congratulates Kurt on his NYADA audition even when he’s about to get surgery (s3e11), and is very supportive of Kurt through his panic about his audition (s3e18). In season 4, Blaine tells Kurt that New York is where he belongs and encourages him to leave (s4e1), supports Kurt’s music video even though Kurt is being wildly unsupportive of him throughout it (s4e4), and assures Kurt that he’ll always be there for him even if they aren’t together (s4e10). In season 5, Blaine agrees to fly out to NYC in the middle of the school week with only a few days notice (s5e7), gives Kurt advice on Elliot when Kurt is being paranoid (s5e9), stays with Kurt in the hospital when he gets attacked (s5e15), is very happy for Kurt when he reveals he got picked for June’s show even before Kurt offered him a part (s5e18), chooses to go to Kurt’s nursing home performance over a big opportunity with June (s5e19), and inviting Kurt to perform with him at June’s show even though it could cost him the partnership (s5e20). In season 6, Blaine does all the wedding planning (s6e1), never says a bad word about Kurt dating other people when Kurt was antagonistic and cruel about him dating Karofsky (s6e4, s6e7), and pushes the glitter bomb box out of Kurt’s hands, physically protecting him again (s6e11). This is just the shortlist, and very few of them are selfishly motivated at all. In fact, many of them actively go against his own interests and involve giving up opportunities. This dichotomy is a prime example of what reinforces Kurt’s power over Blaine. Blaine is willing to give up everything for Kurt and gives him everything he has, but Kurt not only won’t do the same in return but exploits Blaine’s generosity. 

Cheating and Double Standards

So, let’s talk about cheating, romantic jealousy, and the double standard of their relationship. Kurt is immediately possessive of Blaine, even before they start dating. He puts a picture of Blaine in his locker within a week of meeting him (s2e6). In season 2 episode 12, Blaine reveals that he has a crush on another guy, and Kurt, who had constructed a relationship with Blaine in his head, gets very upset. Despite being all too willing to help Blaine when he thought it was about him, he needs to be talked into even going by Mercedes and Rachel. Then, in season 2 episode 14, Kurt gets extremely jealous about Rachel and Blaine kissing and going on a date even though they’re not dating yet. In season 3 episode 5, Blaine meets Sebastian Smythe for the first time. Immediately, Sebastian hits on Blaine very aggressively, but it clearly makes Blaine extremely uncomfortable. Blaine agrees to go to The Lima Bean with Sebastian, and Sebastian continues to hit on Blaine, even more overtly this time. Blaine looks even more uncomfortable and quickly and forcefully shuts Sebastian down multiple times, talking about his boyfriend and how much he loves him. Despite Blaine being in the middle of shutting Sebastian down as Kurt shows up, Kurt is immediately very jealous and possessive. Sebastian suggests that they all go out to the local gay bar, and while Blaine seems interested, he turns it down because he knows Kurt isn’t. Kurt agrees to go but to rival Sebastian, not because Blaine wants to go. Then when they do go out, Kurt decides to spend the night moping at the bar instead of dancing with Blaine. However, Blaine keeps looking over at him, clearly wanting him to come dance with them. He’s not dancing inappropriately with Sebastian, he’s just trying to have fun, and Kurt’s being weird for no reason. He’s really happy when Kurt comes to dance with them, and there’s obviously nothing insidious going on. However, when Kurt and Blaine are fighting and Kurt is bringing up mostly good points, he also throws in that Blaine spent half the night dancing with another guy, which again, was not Blaine’s fault. Then, Blaine has to swear to Kurt that Sebastian doesn’t mean anything to him when he’s been shutting down his advances the whole episode and is clearly not interested. It seems like Kurt believes that Blaine doesn’t have feelings for Sebastian, but he acts exceptionally jealous every time Sebastian shows up, and Kurt talks about him so often that Blaine yells at Kurt to stop bringing him up in season 3 episode 14. 

In season 3 episode 17, we have the first cheating scandal. Kurt needs music for his NYADA audition, and he tells Blaine this and asks him to go to the music store, Between the Sheets with him. Blaine seems upset and says he can’t. Kurt doesn’t ask him why he can’t go or why he’s upset, just decides to go on his own. At Between the Sheets, Kurt meets a guy, Chandler. Chandler is very complimentary towards Kurt immediately, which Kurt responds very positively to. Then, as he’s leaving, Chandler’s comments turn flirtatious and he asks for Kurt’s phone number. Despite it being very clear that Chandler is hitting on him, Kurt gives him his number and doesn’t mention that he has a boyfriend. Kurt starts texting regularly with Chandler. The texts are very flirty, and although Kurt initially doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with it, once Rachel calls him out, he does seem to realize that it isn’t innocent. He says that Blaine hasn’t been complimenting him or trying to have sex with him recently, but he hasn’t spoken to Blaine about it. He texts with Chandler while ignoring Blaine, who is visibly upset, during Rachel and Santana’s duet. Later in the episode, Blaine ends up reading the text messages between Chandler and Kurt. He’s very upset and says that it’s cheating. Kurt denies that it’s cheating and compares it to Blaine talking to Sebastian. Blaine denies this, saying that he didn’t have feelings for Sebastian, and Kurt has feelings for this guy. I agree with Blaine in this situation. He didn’t have feelings for Sebastian and made it clear that it made him uncomfortable when Sebastian hit on him. Kurt does have feelings for Chandler, he was reciprocating the flirting, it’s a different situation, and Kurt is in the wrong. Moreover, considering that Kurt has been ignoring Blaine in favor of Chandler, I do think it’s reasonable to consider this cheating. It’s also notable that sex is not, and never has been, the most important thing to Kurt in a relationship. It’s important in the same way it would be to most teenage boys, but it isn’t how he primarily displays intimacy, so Kurt not having sex with this guy doesn’t mean that he’s not pursuing him. However, Kurt continues to deny that he did anything wrong. He justifies it by saying that Blaine never compliments him. He then says that it’s hard to be Blaine’s boyfriend because everyone wants to be with him. Blaine says that Kurt should have talked to him about it, but Kurt ignores this and continues to dismiss Blaine’s concerns. He doesn’t apologize, he only says that he’s sorry if it made Blaine feel uncomfortable. He tries to dismiss Blaine’s feelings again by saying “it’s ok”, and Blaine storms out. They sing some dramatic songs at each other, Kurt denies that what he did was cheating yet again. Kurt brings Blaine to talk to Emma. Blaine is very upset and vents about a lot of issues he has with Kurt being rude and not respecting boundaries, and then he reveals that he actually is more upset about Kurt preparing to leave for New York than anything else. He’s upset that Kurt keeps talking about it in every conversation because he feels like Kurt’s running away from him and is going to abandon him (which will prove very prescient). Kurt promises that he’ll never do that and Blaine shouldn’t worry. Kurt never admits that what he did was wrong, but at the end of the episode, he says that he told Chandler to stop texting him. Unlike Kurt with Sebastian, Blaine never mentions Chandler again (unless you count that one line from Tina’s body-swapping dream thing, but that’s not real, so I choose to believe that Tina is just outraged in Blaine’s honor), and seems to not only have moved on but forgiven him as well. 

Let’s move on to the next significant cheating incident, season 4 episode 4. Kurt has been ignoring Blaine since he got to New York. In the previous episode, he ignored a call from Blaine on a night he knew was important to him, the night of the senior class president election,  to chat with his coworkers about nonwork-related things (s4e3). and early in the episode, Blaine and Brittney have a conversation about how hard it is for them now that it seems like Kurt and Santana are too busy for them. Kurt calls Blaine (in the middle of the school day), but he immediately has to go. He says that the phones won’t stop ringing at work, Blaine is understanding and tells Kurt he can call him back later. Kurt says he can’t because he’s working until midnight. Kurt says that he understands that it’s frustrating, but this could be a career for him. Blaine says that he understands and then attempts to communicate about the issues he’s having and what he’s feeling. He says that he really misses Kurt, and says “I miss talking to you, and I miss hugging you, and I miss messing around with you,” confirming that they’ve barely interacted in a while. Kurt says, “But you’re coming in two weeks, right?” as if it’s ok for them not to talk for weeks. Two weeks is a long time, especially because when they were first discussing this in season 3, Kurt assured Blaine that he would Skype him every day and that they would see each other every weekend (although even then, he says that Blaine will come and visit him, and never offers to visit Blaine in Lima) (s3e17) and then Kurt had put off practical conversations about doing long distance in favor of flowery language and empty promises even when Blaine actively tried to initiate conversations about it (s3e22). Kurt has broken his word to Blaine and isn’t being a good partner. Blaine expresses that he doesn’t know how he’s going to handle waiting two weeks, seeming genuinely worried and upset, but Kurt doesn’t even acknowledge this. He says that someone is calling with good gossip and that he has to go. He says he’ll call or text Blaine on a break and hangs up without another word, not even waiting long enough to hear Blaine say “I love you” to him. This deeply hurts Blaine, and throughout Barely Breathing we see him calling Kurt, feeling lonely, and then talking to another guy on Facebook. Blaine shows up at Kurt’s apartment on Friday night, which means he would have had to leave straight from school, and since he seems to only decided to go the night before at the earliest, it would have been wildly expensive. Throughout his time in New York, Blaine is clearly upset, and to his credit, Kurt does ask him about it several times, and Blaine eventually admits that he cheated on Kurt. Kurt’s first reaction is to say, “It was Sebastian, wasn’t it?” really nailing home that he still hasn’t forgotten about that, and that he already didn’t really trust Blaine. Blaine says it wasn’t and tries to explain to Kurt that it didn’t mean anything. Kurt asks who it was again. This upsets Blaine further, and he says “It doesn’t matter who it was with, Kurt, what matters is that I was by myself. I needed you. I needed you around, and you weren’t there.” That is the crux of the issue. Kurt has been ignoring Blaine, and both of the times we see him do this are explicitly for gossip, not essential work reasons. It’s implied, though, that he’s been doing this a lot, and if the only two times the audience is shown this are both inessential reasons, it can be extrapolated that these aren’t isolated (s4e3, s4e4). Blaine has tried to raise his concerns, but at every step of the way, Kurt shut him down, brushed him off, and refused to talk about it (s3e17, s3e22, s4e3, s4e4). Kurt has been a bad boyfriend, and unlike season 3 episode 17, Blaine actually tried to reach out to talk about it before he cheated, whereas Kurt didn’t. Blaine says that he was lonely and made a mistake, but that he’s really sorry. Kurt says he’s been feeling the same way, but he didn’t act on it because he knew how awful it was. While this is totally fair, it’s important to note that Kurt has a whole exciting new life and career in New York. He has a lot to look forward to and to keep him busy and distracted, and Blaine’s been supporting him in this (s4e3). However, Blaine is in Lima, there’s very little going on, and even being at McKinley is a constant reminder of Kurt and his absence. The few things in his life that were exciting for him were belittled, demeaned, and overshadowed by Kurt (s4e3). Blaine felt Kurt pulling away because of his new life, something he had been terrified of might happen (s3e17). Kurt knew that this was an insecurity of Blaine’s, and yet he doesn’t put any effort into assuaging his fears. Blaine shouldn’t have cheated, I’m certainly not saying it was justified, but Kurt contributed significantly to the problems in the relationship that led to this action, and that shouldn’t be overlooked. Blaine apologizes again, but Kurt rushes off. On what presumably is the next Monday, since the breakup happened on a Friday so there wouldn’t have been school the next day, Finn is back in Lima and he talks to Blaine. Blaine says that he doesn’t know why he cheated on Kurt, but now Kurt won’t talk to him and he doesn’t even know if they’re broken up, despite, again, three days passing. We see Kurt at work. He seems upset, but also says that he’ll be ok. 

We see Blaine continue to beat himself up for a large amount of season 4, all the way through episode 11, where he starts to move on. In episode 7, Blaine is torturing himself about cheating. He almost leaves WMHS, but Sam talks to him about it. He affirms that it was a one night stand, that he felt nothing, and that he immediately regretted it. Kurt is upset for a while, but he refuses to take any responsibility. He also talks about how he doesn’t want to forgive Blaine because he wants him to feel bad, and only decides to accept Blaine’s apology for himself (s4e8). He calls Blaine right before Blaine is about to perform after ghosting him for weeks, but only to remind Blaine that he doesn’t forgive him and to lie to him about coming back to Lima for Christmas (s4e8). Kurt isn’t required to forgive Blaine, but he keeps holding it over Blaine’s head, reminding him of what he’s lost while he’s struggling, and given that he previously said that he wanted Blaine to suffer, it colors it slightly. On Christmas, Kurt decides not to go back to Lima for Christmas despite promising Blaine, and when Blaine comes to New York, he feels the need to ask, “You are happy to see me, right?” despite Kurt having said previously that he wanted to see Blaine for Christmas. Both Kurt and Blaine start to move on in season 4 episode 11, and although Blaine’s crush on Sam is real, he’s still very clearly in love with Kurt. Kurt is trying much harder to move on, and his relationship with Adam seems to have the potential to become more serious. He’s already pretty close with Adam in season 4 episode 13, and it seems like Adam is very interested in Kurt. 

The next major turn of events comes in season 4 episode 14. At Will and Emma’s wedding, Blaine and Kurt are making out, and Kurt mentions that he shouldn’t be doing this because he’s kind of dating someone in New York. Blaine, somewhat desperately, assures him that it’s ok because he’s not in New York and it’s not exclusive. Kurt agrees but clarifies that this doesn’t mean that they’re back together. Blaine agrees, saying it’s just “bros helping bros”, but clearly he doesn’t actually feel that way. He’s still in love with Kurt, while Kurt is starting to move on. Kurt spends the entire reception flirting with Blaine while saying that he doesn’t want to get back together, and that would be fine if Blaine was in the same place as Kurt. But he isn’t. Blaine is just trying to claw his way out of the darkest place he’s ever been in, and he’s using Kurt to do this, but this isn’t healthy. He’s been conditioned to feel like he needs Kurt to feel worthy, and this is only reinforcing this. Kurt is also weirdly jealous when he finds out about the Tina situation for someone who isn’t interested in Blaine. Also, Tina makes fantastic points in that argument. Kurt and Blaine hook up, and Kurt, again, reiterates that they’re not getting back together, but Blaine isn’t in a place to see them having sex as casual and insignificant. He is viewing it as more, and Kurt is the older, more mature one, and he knows how Blaine feels. He is leading Blaine on by playing into it. Having sex, going on dates, he’s not letting Blaine move on like he is. 

Speaking of Kurt moving on, let’s talk about Adam. Adam deserved better, even after that horrendous Baby Got Back performance. Adam genuinely likes Kurt. Immediately, he seems to care very deeply for Kurt and is very supportive and complimentary of him (s4e11, s4e13). However, this isn’t enough for Kurt. He still feels the need to have Blaine there for him too, so he sleeps with him despite kind of dating Adam (s4e14). Then in season 4 episode 15, Santana asks Kurt about him sleeping with Blaine at the wedding in front of Adam, and Kurt shushes her, trying to hide it from Adam as if he’s aware that he probably shouldn’t have done it. It probably wasn’t cheating in the strictest sense, but Adam does seem upset, although whether it’s by Kurt sleeping with Blaine or Kurt trying to hide it is unclear. They watch Moulin Rouge, and Kurt imagines himself singing Come What May with Blaine. He starts crying and Adam asks him about it. He lies to Adam’s face, lies to him about wearing contacts, tries to convince Rachel to go along with it, and would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for Santana. Santana calls him out, asking him if he’s crying because he used to say that he wanted to sing that duet with Blaine at their wedding. Kurt tries to shut it down, but Santana is unbothered and continues, saying she once heard Kurt say that singing that song was “a more intimate act than sex”. Adam looks a little confused and upset but doesn’t say anything. Kurt tries to leave, and Santana changes the subject. This comment from Santana confirms that Kurt is first and foremost a romantic, and that sex is not the most important thing to him. Later, after the storm is over, Adam talks to Kurt about Santana’s comment. He asks Kurt if he used to sing that song with Blaine, and Kurt says yes, but tries to minimize it. Adam asks if Kurt still loves Blaine. He doesn’t respond. Then Adam asks if he was Kurt’s rebound, saying that he can’t compete with a fantasy. Kurt says no and that he “desperately” wants to be over Blaine. Adam says that they’re going to go watch a sappy romantic movie to be their movie and to try and help Kurt move on. In season 5 episode 1, Blaine asks Kurt what the deal is with Adam, and Kurt claims that it never got serious, but the last time we saw Adam, it seemed like they were headed in that direction. Kurt mentions that he’s still seeing Adam in season 4 episode 17, and Sam mentions that Blaine didn’t know where Kurt and Adam stood in season 4 episode 22. We never see any indication that their relationship stopped, but Kurt agrees to start dating Blaine again, and then he’s dating Kurt for days before Blaine proposes, but as we find out in season 5 episode 4, Adam kicked Kurt out of the Adam’s Apples when he found out Kurt was engaged, which implies that Kurt didn’t officially break things off with Adam until after he got engaged. This only reinforces that Kurt hates committing to breakups. He always wants to keep his options open in case he needs a backup plan. Adam is a little weird, but he’s so sweet. He’s trying so hard to help Kurt even when Kurt is lying to him and lowkey playing him. There are a lot of reflections of how Kurt treats Blaine in how he treats Adam too. None of Kurt’s toxic behaviors are isolated, and none of the people in his life deserve to be treated the way he treats them. 

I’ve already heavily analyzed the scene in season 5 episode 1 when Kurt and Blaine get back together, but I do want to briefly reiterate something before moving on. Kurt, despite knowing that he’s going to forgive Blaine, holds the cheating over Blaine, but he eventually does say he forgives Blaine, and that they can put it behind them. However, he doesn’t do this. In season 5 episode 7, Blaine has a complete mental breakdown. The New Directions weren’t listening to Blaine’s ideas, and he called Kurt looking for support, instead, Kurt calls Blaine a puppet master and then asks Blaine for support and to come to New York, which, of course, Blaine agrees to. However, Kurt insulting Blaine along with a gas leak in the choir room leads to Blaine’s downward spiral. He starts hallucinating puppets and then decides to make a puppet version of Kurt. Here’s where we get evidence that Blaine is very aware that Kurt hasn’t actually forgiven Blaine for cheating. He has his puppet say that he’s forgiven Blaine. Personally, I think this is quite sad, and we see Blaine’s insecurities and struggles with control highlighted in this episode. Then, in season 5 episode 16, there’s confirmation that Kurt is still holding it over Blaine’s head and hasn’t forgiven him. Kurt could have easily talked about getting tested, or even the last time he got tested, without bringing up Eli. It was unnecessary, and as I stated earlier, the way Blaine reacts implies that Kurt brings this up frequently. It’s controlling and cruel, and he’s not even criticized for it, by his friends or by the tone of the show itself. And this is something that only Kurt does. Rarely do the other characters in the show bring up cheating out of nowhere, and as mentioned, Blaine has never brought up Chandler since season 3 episode 17. In this episode, Kurt also gets incredibly jealous and controlling of Blaine watching porn, even though that’s none of his business, and if he was worried about their sex lives should have talked to Blaine about it. 

Let’s talk about Karofsky because the way Kurt reacts to him is fascinating. In season 6 episode 1, Kurt had broken up with Blaine out of nowhere months ago, but he comes back to Lima with the express purpose to get back together with Blaine. However, upon meeting with Blaine, he reveals that he’s actually seeing someone, and Kurt’s first thought is that it’s Sebastian, which drives home that Kurt never got over the Sebastian thing, even though nothing happened between them, and he had no reason to think that anything ever would. Karofsky shows up and Kurt does not react well to this. He manages to not say anything against him explicitly, but his tone is mocking and sarcastic, and he leaves quickly to go cry in the bathroom. Initially, Blaine and Dave seem very happy, honestly, and this seems to upset Kurt (s6e1, s6e2, s6e3). Kurt is very passive-aggressive and jealous whenever he sees Dave and Blaine together, to the point where Blaine has to ask whether they need to come up with alternating sheet music schedules (s6e3). Kurt also refuses to admit that Blaine has moved on, pretending that they’re on a break until Britt calls him out about it and tells him that Blaine and Dave are moving in together (s6e3). He gets very bitter every time Blaine tries to talk about his boyfriend (s6e5). Then, Kurt begins to move on, but he still decides to cheat in order to get Blaine chosen to sing a duet with, undermining Blaine and Dave’s relationship. And when Blaine implies that Dave might not be fully comfortable with Blaine and Kurt singing together, Kurt implies that Dave’s paranoid and crazy, because nothing is going on, even though he is trying to undermine them and something is going on (s6e7). Kurt then manipulates Blaine’s feelings, pivoting the conversation away from Karofsky and to the past and pretending that he forgot their first duet, and then acts all surprised when Blaine kisses him like he hasn’t been trying to undermine Blaine’s relationship for weeks (s6e7). Then, knowing that Blaine still had feelings for him, he suddenly decides to stop pursuing Blaine right as Blaine breaks up with Dave (s6e7). And then Kurt does decide to go back to Blaine without knowing that he broke up with Dave, and just assumes it’ll work out (s6e8). Kurt does do everything in his power to get Blaine to break up with Dave without actually saying so. He’s highly manipulative, and he prevented Blaine from continuing a relationship that was really good for him. And for the record, no, I don’t think that Blaine and Dave would have made it long term, and their relationship is a little weird. Mostly, I don’t think it would have worked out because Dave would have reminded Blaine too much of Kurt, but they seemed to have a fairly healthy relationship, and I do think that if Kurt had let Blaine be, he could have moved on on his own time. I think Kurt interrupting this journey impacted Blaine in a very significant way and made him even more dependent on Kurt than he already was. However, Kurt is one of the main characters, so the show frames him pursuing Blaine as an epic love story, convincing the audience to root for Kurt. 

Now that we’ve unpacked Kurt’s jealousy, let’s analyze Blaine’s jealousy, and how it’s framed vs. Kurt’s jealousy. Blaine does struggle with jealousy as well, but it is not the same as Kurt’s, and the show treats it in a very different way. Blaine is jealous of Chandler, but he has a right to be. Kurt is interested in him, and they were actively flirting. However, he’s framed as being unreasonable. The show and Kurt say that he’s overreacting, and in the end, it turns out that he’s not actually upset about Chandler, even though he had a right to be, and he forgives Kurt. But Blaine isn’t generally very jealous, so the next major event is in season 5 episodes 9 and 14. Kurt takes a picture with Elliott, and Elliott kisses him on the cheek in the picture. Blaine seems a little worried by the photo but doesn’t say anything until episode 14. Kurt is lashing out at Blaine because he feels smothered in their relationship and he mentions Elliott. Blaine snaps at Kurt jealously, and Kurt calls him a psycho. This is another example of the double standard when it comes to jealousy. Kurt is justified in being jealous of Sebastian for years when nothing happened, but Blaine gets a little jealous of Elliott after Kurt starts pulling away again, and he’s crazy and unreasonable. This is not only on Kurt as a character but also on the show. They both present Kurt as someone who can do no wrong, and Blaine as a terrible person the second he makes a minor mistake. Blaine leaves and goes to Elliott’s apartment. He yells at Elliott, but Elliott calms Blaine down and handles the situation very well. Blaine goes back to the loft and apologizes for his jealousy, something Kurt never does about any of the people he gets jealous of. Then, in season 5 episode 16, Kurt is getting ogled and hit on by several guys in his stage combat class, and Blaine feels uncomfortable with this. He doesn’t feel comfortable with Kurt being viewed as a sexual object. Both Kurt and the show frame Blaine as being unreasonable for this, however, in season 3 episode 17, Kurt expresses a similar discomfort. He calls Blaine an “alpha gay” and says that “even Rachel wanted to make out with [Blaine]”. Moreover, Blaine’s jealousy is not unfounded. The guy who is primarily hitting on Kurt is complimenting him heavily, something that Blaine knows from experience is something that Kurt responds to in the early stages of a relationship (s3e17, s4e11), and has caused Kurt to cheat in the past (s3e17). Kurt is also doing nothing to shut this guy down, despite him obviously flirting, which contrasts with how vigorously Blaine shut down Sebastian (s3e5). This continues throughout the episode, and Kurt never makes any moves to shut him down or assuage Blaine’s fears. In the end, as always, Blaine is the one forced to apologize. Finally, in season 6 we are introduced to Walter. When Kurt first mentions that he’s going on a date with Walter in episode 4, Blaine is clearly a little upset by it, but he is very supportive, and he’s dating Dave anyway, so he’s very good about it. Then in episode 7, Blaine comes to McKinley after breaking up with Dave to confess his feelings to Kurt, and Kurt is going out with Walter. Despite Walter being older than time, Blaine doesn’t say a single bad word against him and lets Kurt go. These two interactions contrast boldly with all of Kurt’s reactions to Karofsky. He is jealous, but he doesn’t take it out on Kurt’s budding relationship. The double standard of how cheating and jealousy are treated between them is completely unfair. Blaine has transgressed before, but so has Kurt, and that being brushed under the rug isn’t fair. In addition, the way Blaine is blamed for Sebastian flirting with him vs. the guy in Blaine’s combat class flirting with Kurt being forgotten almost immediately is the clearest example of this double standard that pervades their relationship and how it’s portrayed. 

Blaine’s Relationship Missteps

Now, of course, Blaine isn’t perfect, and in the spirit of fairness, let’s look at all the times Blaine exhibited similar behaviors to the ones I’ve listed for Kurt. In season 2 episode 20, Blaine is initially nervous about Kurt’s prom outfit. He agrees with Burt that it’s provocative, and he’s worried about Kurt getting attacked or harassed at prom, which makes sense given his past experiences and what he’d seen Kurt go through that year. Of course, he should have been more supportive, but he comes around regardless. Throughout season 3, Blaine maintains an interesting relationship with Sebastian, and as we’ve discussed, I don’t think this was strictly wrong, but it did make Kurt uncomfortable, and potentially he could have been more responsive to this. But I’m not convinced by this one. In season 3 episode 5, Blaine pressures Kurt to have sex before he’s ready, reneging on a conversation they had had but a few days ago. The pressures of the musical and Sebastian are bearing down on him, and he definitely acts inappropriately. I’m not going to try and defend this one, that scene makes me very uncomfortable. Although I do think that Kurt’s jealousy was unfounded. In season 4 episode 4, Blaine cheats on Kurt, as discussed, this is wrong. He shouldn’t have done it, however, he did attempt to talk to Kurt about it, and Kurt shouldn’t have ignored and overshadowed Blaine. It doesn’t justify what he did, but it does contextualize it. In season 5 episode 14, Blaine gets very jealous of Elliott. This is unfounded and irrational, and he’s taking out his lack of control and confusion on Elliott. It’s a lot like the Sebastian situation, he has no reason to think anything is going on. This is different from season 5 episode 16, where Blaine is uncomfortable with other men hitting on Kurt. While I still think that this isn’t right, Kurt has given Blaine reason to think that this might be a problem in the past. The last time a guy complimented Kurt, he started a whole thing with him. It’s understandable why Blaine would be a little insecure. In season 6 episode 2, Blaine accuses Kurt of stealing Jane because he’s upset about Blaine and Dave dating, and while this is definitely paranoid, Kurt was upset about Dave, and Rachel and Kurt are not above poaching to get ahead. Finally, in season 6 episode 7, Blaine kisses Kurt while still dating Dave. This is also bad, but as discussed earlier, Kurt fostered the environment that led to this incident. I don’t think that any of these things should be dismissed, but I also don’t think that this is convincing evidence that Blaine is particularly toxic. Most of these seem like mistakes that could happen in a tumultuous relationship, and the fact that there are so few items on this list comparatively is significant. 

Warped Ideas of Romance

Blaine also develops a very warped sense of romance and healthy relationship milestones over the course of the show, and I blame Kurt. Kurt has always been a romantic, and he instills into Blaine very early on in their relationship. He likes big grand gestures, and we see Blaine do that for Kurt many times, mostly through big songs. It became the primary way he communicated with Kurt. Blaine admits early on that not only has he never had a boyfriend before but that he feels like he doesn’t know what he’s doing at all when it comes to romance (s2e12). To be fair, Kurt is in a similar situation, but Kurt is older, and their relationship is dominated by Kurt all too often. This doesn’t become a problem until later on, though. It first rears its head in season 4 episode 21, when Blaine tells Burt that he wants to propose to Kurt and asks for his permission to do so, despite them not being together. Blaine mentions in that conversation that he knows that if he wants to get Kurt back, he has to do something big. In fact, Blaine almost proposes in that very episode. Then, in episode 22, he buys an engagement ring despite all of his friends protesting with very logical arguments and almost proposes again. In season 5 episode 1, they get back together, and Blaine tells everyone that he needs to make the proposal even bigger and more dramatic now that he’s back together with Kurt. They have only been together for a few days, but at least this is a little better than proposing when you’ve been broken up for months. And Kurt says yes anyway. This idea pervades their whole relationship, but it doesn’t come back in a big way until season 6 episode 8 (although he does seem to move in with Dave pretty early in their relationship (s6e3). They couldn’t have been together for more than a few months, because the end of season 5 is the summer, and the beginning of season 6 is right at the beginning of the school year). Tina asks Blaine, Artie, and Puck whether she should propose to Mike at Santana and Brittany’s wedding, even though they aren’t together and haven’t even seen each other in person for a long time. Blaine’s first response is that he thinks it’s romantic when it’s clearly insane. Then when Brittany and Sue ask him and Kurt to get married, Blaine says yes. He is the one who decides it because Kurt refuses to give a straight answer to anyone ever. But to be fair, I wouldn’t want to get married in that suit either, it’s bad. They also have a baby super young for performers in New York (s6e13). Blaine doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, and it’s very worrying. 

Communication

Next, let’s discuss how bad they are at communication, especially Kurt. Not only is Kurt bad at communication, but he actively shuts it down so often. As mentioned, Blaine is new to relationships, and he is actively taught that the best way to communicate with Kurt is by singing. Kurt doesn’t respond to conversation, he always shuts it down and only responds to Blaine’s concerns when he sings. For example, in season 5 episode 20, Blaine sings All of Me to tell Kurt that he lied about Kurt being in June’s show. When Kurt gets angry about it, Blaine explains that he had no idea how to tell Kurt about the show without lying, and then he didn’t know how to tell Kurt about the lie, because he was scared of hurting Kurt. This is also not the first time that Blaine has been so afraid of Kurt that he’s felt the need to lie to him. In season 5 episode 7, Blaine gets detention and is unable to attend Kurt’s first Pamela Landsbury gig or risk suspension. He doesn’t know to break the news to Kurt for fear of hurting Kurt’s feelings and doesn’t call Kurt to let him know that he can’t make it, and waits until Kurt calls him right before the performance to tell him. Now, this is obviously bad, but it shows how Blaine doesn’t know how to talk to Kurt and how he’s always walking on eggshells around him. There are too many examples of Kurt shutting down Blaine when he tries to communicate openly, so let’s look at them. With graduation coming up, Blaine tries to talk to Kurt about doing long distance, and Kurt says that he wants to be in denial for a few more days. Blaine tries again to talk about it, but Kurt shuts him down again with flowery words and empty promises (s3e22). When Kurt is in New York, he starts ignoring Blaine, and when Blaine reaches out, Kurt shuts it down and does nothing to change (s4e4). In season 5 episode 14, Blaine openly asks Kurt if he’s crowding him, and even though he is, Kurt lies to Blaine about it. Then, in season 5 episode 16, Blaine tries to clear the air about the fight over the porn, and Kurt shuts it down, saying that they talk too much, when really they don’t talk at all. This is a pattern of behavior for Kurt, and it shouldn’t be. Kurt never asks Blaine when something is wrong, even if he can tell he’s upset (s3e17, s5e14, s5e16), and their relationship has to be pushed to the breaking point before Kurt puts any work in (s3e17, s5e14, s5e16, s6e1). Except when Blaine sings. In season 4 episode 4 and season 5 episode 20, Kurt asks Blaine what is wrong, but only because Blaine sang about it. Even though he is aware when Blaine is insecure or having issues, he only directly talks to Blaine about it when he sings it. This is not healthy. It encourages Blaine to withdraw and not try to keep communication open, which is already something Blaine struggles with (s3e17, s5e16). Kurt doesn’t want to communicate, and Blaine doesn’t know how to reach him. It’s dangerous and worrying. 

Kurt’s Toxicity Outside His Relationship with Blaine

Now, the reason I think that the toxicity is mostly Kurt’s fault and not just a bad relationship that brings out the worst in both of them is that he acts in similar ways in his relationships with other people as well. For example, in season 1, Kurt is very predatory towards Finn. He spends much of the season hitting on him (s1e10), trying to get their parents together so they can live together (s1e16), and trying to sabotage Finn’s relationships (s1e10, s1e11). Like in his relationship with Blaine, he pushes Finn, not taking no for an answer, until Finn snaps and uses the f-slur (s1e20). Obviously, Finn shouldn’t have said that, but the actions Kurt took to drive him to that point can’t be dismissed out of hand. However, as in his arguments with Blaine, Kurt refuses to take any responsibility, playing the victim card even when Finn and Burt call him out for not understanding that no means no (s2e4, s2e14). He also exhibits jealous and possessive behaviors around Burt. When Burt starts getting closer to Finn, Kurt is unreasonably upset by it. Despite Burt being completely supportive of him, he thinks that his sexuality is the reason Burt is inviting Finn to go to sports games and not that Kurt notoriously hates sports (s1e16). In season 2, Kurt accuses Mr. Shue and Burt of being homophobic when they don’t let him do things he wants (s2e6, s2e14). He implies that Will is homophobic when he won’t let Kurt sing on the girls’ team during the season 2 girls vs. boys mash-up competition (s2e6). Then, in episode 14, Burt tells Kurt that he doesn’t want Kurt having boys sleep over in his bed, Kurt accuses Burt of being homophobic. Burt says that it’s not about that because he wouldn’t let Finn have girls sleep over in his room, but Kurt persists, asking him if that would make him uncomfortable, even though Burt had been nothing but supportive of Kurt since he came out (s2e14). When Burt has cancer and Kurt comes back to Lima in season 4 episode 22, he starts lashing out at people. First, he lashes out at Mike for bringing up the Tina Vaporape situation, and then he yells at Burt at his own doctor’s appointment for wearing a navy shirt. In season 6, Kurt gets very controlling about the glee club even though Rachel was the one who brought the club back. He fights Rachel on how to organize the sheet music (even though Rachel’s method makes more sense and his is wildly subjective) (s6e2) and what the lessons are/how to present them (s6e3). He also interrupted Santana’s proposal and was unnecessarily harsh when critiquing Mason and Jane’s performance because he’s upset about Blaine (s6e3). To list some smaller instances, Kurt also blackmails Karofsky with outing him (s2e18), snaps his fingers at waitstaff (s3e10), encourages Rachel to cheat on Finn (s4e2), and is incredibly jealous of Elliot (s4e15, s5e7). The way we see Kurt act around Blaine isn’t isolated and it’s deeply concerning.

Bow Ties and Hair Gel Symbolism

Blaine’s ties and hair gel are symbolic of his relationship with Kurt and his insecurities respectively (I know the hair gel wasn’t intentional but I noticed it, it works, so I’m using it, whereas I’m pretty sure the bow tie symbolism was intentional). First, let’s talk about bow ties. The first time we see Blaine in street clothes is in season 2 episode 14. It’s before Kurt and Blaine start dating, and Blaine doesn’t wear a bow tie. The first time we see Blaine in a bow tie is in season 3 episode 1. Blaine has just transferred to McKinley for Kurt, and their relationship is very strong. However, their relationship is still new, and thus the bow tie is not yet Blaine’s signature. But he wears one here to signify his commitment to Kurt and their relationship. He continues to wear bow ties frequently through season 3, but not religiously. However, he does wear them more and more as the season progresses. There are a few notable exceptions to this. The first is in episode 5. When Blaine meets Sebastian (and every time he interacts with him), he is wearing one. When they go to Scandals, Blaine is still wearing a bow tie, but when he’s dancing with Sebastian and then when they’re fighting afterward Blaine’s tie is undone, but still around his neck. Sebastian and the musical are managing to get in between Kurt and Blaine, but Blaine still loves and cares about Kurt. They just need to get back on the same page. The second is in episode 17. Blaine does not wear a single bow tie in this episode. He does, however, wear a necktie in the scene where Kurt is texting Chandler in the choir room. In fact, when he sings It’s Not Right but It’s Ok and when Kurt sings I Have Nothing, he’s wearing a collared shirt buttoned all the way up, outfits that would normally have a bowtie, emphasizing the lack of one. 

In season 4, Blaine actually stops wearing bowties almost entirely. In episodes 1 and 2, Blaine wears a bow tie with several outfits, in keeping with how frequently he wore them in season 3, not with every outfit, but with one or two outfits per episode. However, in episode 3, we get the most overt use of the bow tie as a metaphor. Early in the episode, Blaine’s wearing bow ties with all of his outfits (the most he’s worn bow ties this season), even with his weird club costumes. He brings up how he and Kurt aren’t really in sync right now, but his bow ties indicate that he’s still very committed to that relationship. Then, Kurt and Blaine are talking, and Blaine is being very supportive of Kurt and his New York adventures. Blaine mentions that he’s running for student body president, and Kurt says that he forgot about that. Blaine then asks Kurt which bow tie he should wear for the debate, and Kurt brushes it off and pivots the conversation back to him. Blaine is clearly upset, but he goes along with Kurt. This scene uses bow ties to directly illustrate how Kurt is moving on, and how it’s hurting Blaine. He’s not supporting Blaine or hearing his concerns about the relationship, and it’s driving Blaine away. This is emphasized when at the debate, Sam tells Blaine he shouldn’t wear a bow tie, saying it makes him look uptight and telling him to take it off. Blaine even agrees that he looks better without it. This symbolizes the downfall of Blaine and Kurt’s relationship. Kurt’s ignoring Blaine, and it’s given Blaine doubts about the relationship. Blaine doesn’t wear a bow tie for the rest of the episode, as Kurt continues to ignore Blaine, even though Blaine getting elected. Blaine continues this pattern in episode 4, not wearing a single bow tie for the whole episode, and after the breakup, he only wears 3 bow ties in the entire rest of the season. He wears one at the Sadie Hawking’s dance, right after confessing his crush on Sam to Tina (s4e11) and one in the final song of season 4 episode 20, after having a moment with a guy at Sue’s exercise class. Notably, he doesn’t wear a bow tie to Will and Emma’s wedding, where he starts to reconnect with Kurt, he wears a necktie, but interestingly, Kurt wears a bow tie. Blaine even comments on it, saying, “You in this fey boy-tie. Dude, it’s my kryptonite”. He does, however, wear one later in that episode, after several leading conversations with Kurt. They’re not back together though, so Blaine doesn’t wear another bow tie until season 5 episode 1 (he also wears one in Kurt’s fantasy of Come What May, but Blaine isn’t actually wearing it, Kurt’s fantasy version of him is, which makes sense). 

In season 5, he gets much more consistent with wearing bow ties. It’s now his signature, so when he doesn’t wear one, it’s usually significant, and if he doesn’t wear one at all in an episode it’s definitely significant. Even before he officially asks Kurt to get back together with him, Blaine is wearing bow ties with all of his outfits. After they get back together and get engaged, Blaine continues to wear bow ties with most of his outfits. Let’s briefly go through some important examples. In episode 7, Kurt and Blaine get into a fight because Blaine didn’t tell Kurt that he couldn’t come to his first Pamela Landsbury gig, and Blaine isn’t wearing a bow tie. In episode 14, Blaine doesn’t wear a single bow tie until after he and Kurt have the conversation about him moving out, and then he wears a bow tie with every outfit in the remainder of the episode. He also doesn’t wear any bow ties at all in episode 16. Even after Blaine and Kurt have their conversation about communication and trust, Blaine still doesn’t wear a bow tie, signaling that he still isn’t happy with the relationship or himself. In episode 18, Blaine wears a lot of bow ties early in the episode, including when June tells him to break up with Kurt, however, when he lies to Kurt about him being in June’s showcase, he isn’t wearing one. He continues not wearing bow ties in episode 19 and early episode 20, as June and his lie drive a wedge between them. However, in the reconciliation scene, Blaine is wearing a bow tie, as he offers to give up the showcase and Kurt forgives him. Blaine wears a bow tie at the showcase and when moving back in with Kurt, but not in the goodbye or the scene where Rachel confirms she’s leaving, perhaps foreshadowing the season 6 break up. Season 6 is when Blaine is actually most consistent in wearing bow ties, which is interesting because he isn’t even with Kurt for most of it. It shows how Blaine is still deeply in love with Kurt despite appearances of moving on. The only two really important scenes in season 6 are the breakup scene in episode 1 and the elevator scenes in episode 5. He isn’t wearing a bow tie in the breakup scene, which makes sense, but other than that, he’s seen wearing a bow tie with almost every outfit for the rest of the season (a mini exception is when he tries to completely switch it up in episode 2, which doesn’t really need analysis but is a good example of this symbolism in action), and every scene with Dave. The interesting part is the elevator scenes. Blaine starts out wearing a bow tie but undoes it while in the elevator. Previously, this had been used to represent an issue in their relationship, but I don’t think that’s what it represents here. Blaine has been carrying his love for Kurt with him into his new relationship, afraid to let go of the good, but also unable to let go of the pain he experienced during the relationship. It’s restricting him. Blaine undoing the tie but keeping it around his neck is him opening up to Kurt, allowing the restrictive aspect to go, without letting go of the love he still clearly feels.

Now, on to the speculative part, Blaine’s hair gel. Throughout the show, Blaine starts using more hair gel and suppressing his natural curl pattern even more. In season 2, Blaine's hair is gelled, but in a way that embraces his natural hair. You can still tell that he has curly hair underneath it all, and it reflects the relaxed, more confident, version of Blaine that we see at this point in the show (ex. s2e6). Kurt only reinforces Blaine’s insecurities, and this is demonstrated in season 3 episode 19. Blaine is worried about not being able to gel his hair for prom, and Kurt initially laughs at and dismisses Blaine’s concerns. Then, at prom, when Kurt first sees Blaine without hair gel, his first responses are, “Oh dear God,”  and then laughing. He does eventually say that he wants to see the real Blaine, however, all of his actions leading up to this point don't support that, despite his knowledge of how insecure Blaine is. Blaine’s hair is used as a metaphor for Blaine letting his walls down within the episode, but the whole interaction is a metaphor for the way Kurt acts around Blaine for the entire show. He reinforces Blaine’s concerns and insecurities while saying with his words that he supports and loves him. Clearly, Blaine doesn’t believe that Kurt likes seeing him with his natural hair because, over the course of Blaine's relationship with Kurt, he tightens his hair even more. Slowly, his hair gets tighter and tighter to his scalp. Compare season 2 episode 6, to season 3 episode 5, to season 4 episode 1. We even see Blaine with gelled hair going to sleep and waking up when he's around Kurt (s4e4,s5e14, s5e16). Waking up with perfectly gelled hair is especially interesting because it implies that either Blaine is using some crazy strong hair gel to avoid his hair moving in the middle of the night, or that he's getting up putting hair gel in, and then getting back into bed, so Kurt doesn't see him with his natural hair. The only time we see Blaine with his natural hair, or even with more relaxed hair, are in episodes during the break up where Kurt isn’t seeing Blaine (s4e13, s4e17). It's the tightest in season 5 episode 14, which is also one of the episodes where Blaine is at his worst. He's struggling with his insecurities in a major way, and when he goes over to Elliott's house, his hair is basically Shellacked to his head (s5e14). It loosens a little bit in the next few episodes, however, there is no significant difference until season 6. It's still not back to where it was in season 2, however now that he and Kurt aren’t together anymore, he seems to have let his hair relax a little (ex s6e2). He even briefly stops gelling his hair after breaking up with Kurt. However, his insecurities run too deep and he starts doing it again. In the end, Blaine does stop gelling his hair, but he’s still unable to be his true self around Kurt and starts straightening his hair instead (s6e13). Blaine is never able to let go of his insecurities and be himself around Kurt, and both the symbolic and literal implications of this illustrate perfectly how terrible his relationship with Kurt is for Blaine. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, Kurt and Blaine’s relationship isn’t healthy, and the responsibility is mostly on Kurt. Despite their chemistry and outward appearances, their relationship is toxic and potentially abusive. Kurt doesn’t care about Blaine, he cares about himself, and he’s willing to destroy Blaine’s life if it benefits him. Blaine, on the other hand, cares so deeply about Kurt that he doesn’t even care that their relationship is damaging to him. They struggle with even the basic communication and trust that a relationship needs, and seem to believe that love is the only thing they need to keep their relationship alive. Kurt is manipulative, cruel, and takes every opportunity to tear Blaine down so he can have power over him. He hates being vulnerable and needs to be able to exert control over Blaine. He uses Blaine’s insecurity and inexperience to assure that Blaine is as small and reliant on Kurt as possible. He holds Blaine’s every little mistake over Blaine’s head, refuses to take responsibility for any of their problems, and minimizes his own mistakes. Kurt is incredibly jealous, often unfoundedly, and yet calls Blaine unreasonable when he displays any signs of jealousy himself. Their relationship damages Blaine irreparably, to the point that comparing Blaine in season 2 to Blaine in season 6 shows two almost completely different people. But it doesn’t come out of nowhere, Kurt systematically and intentionally cuts Blaine down and turns him into the person he wants him to be. A person he can control. It is not random, it is not uncharacteristic for either of them and when their relationship is interpreted through this lens, explains a lot about how Blaine develops as a character. Even if their relationship isn’t abusive, it certainly isn’t good, and it shouldn’t be romanticized. 

[horrorslashergirl]

Chromeskull x Cop!Reader x The Collector

A dark themed erotic novel for the twisted minds

Resume: When there’s a third party, things might get a little difficult. Jealousy is an ugly characteristic and it might get you into a whole lot of trouble. 

Chapter 1: Nightshift Turn Out

Chapter 2: Twisted Tongue

Chapter 3: Rising from fire like the Phoenix

Chapter 4: Video Shadows

Chapter 5: New beginning and Past memories

Chapter 6: Lovers Reunion

Chapter 7: Sweet Blackmail

Chapter 8: False Freedom

Chapter 9: Ugly Jealousy (You are here)

Chapter 10: Sinful Ecstasy

You woke up with a headache, the sleep you had wasn't enough and it didn't help that you had to get your ass out of bed to prepare yourself for work. You took a quick shower, trying to wash the tiredness from your face, then dressed. Breakfast was out of the discussion, you weren't hungry, but you filled your dog's bowl with food before exiting and going to work, acting like everything was fine. You didn't want to have your co-workers ask you millions of questions if you were alright.

Everything went fine, some office paperwork, today you had no patrolling so you took all your time into the office, the AC blowing behind you, a sigh leaving your lips as your exhausted eyes took a glance at the clock on the wall; lunchtime. Maybe coffee and something sweet would ease your tension. Closing your laptop, you told your partner you will take some time off to get food, which he replied with a simple nod, his eyes too pulled into the stacks of papers and the computer.

Walking down the hallways, you exited the police station and were ready to go across the street to get yourself the nutriments for today, only to stop dead into your tracks, when your eyes meet the tall form of Jesse, leaning against the side of a Chrysler, 300c, all black with his hands into the pockets of his slacks, a smirk on his scarred face.

He wouldn't do something in public, in front of so many people and especially coworkers of yours that were outside smoking. You gulped down and got the courage to walk towards him, trying not to look scared, mostly so as not to raise unwanted questions and suspicions.

"I haven't told anyone anything, not a soul." you firstly said, trying not to stumble over your words. He pulled out his phone from his pocket, typing a message.

'I know, princess. We have our eyes on you all the time.'

Well, that calmed you down very much, but still, that didn't answer your question about why he was here.

'I thought you might be hungry since it's lunchtime. I brought you something.'

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as he opened the passager seat and pulled out a box, which contained your favorite food, along with a cup of coffee, just how you liked it, a little bitter with some milk, and what you loved most, strawberry cake.

"Why?" you hesitated, taking the box anyway since your stomach was making the thinking for you now.

'Why not? Isn't this what a lover is supposed to do to his most valuable person in life?'

That message made you all the more confused, not to mention a little angry. He wasn't your lover or boyfriend or any synonyms specified.

"You're not my lover. You kidnapped me, hurt me, and not to mention blackmailed me." you explained, trying to sound assertive, but at the same time trying not to draw attention to the both of you. You knew how your coworkers liked to gossip and prey on any juicy stories.

'Details, doll.' he waved off as it was nothing as if the words you said were just a joke to him, but then he narrowed his brown eye, his hand pulling you flush against his chest, a gasp leaving your lips. On one hand, he still had his phone, typing away with precision.

'Kiss me.'

That command, because request sure as hell wasn't, made your eyes widen and shivers to run down your spine, a bad feeling coming into your chest.

"W-What?" Kiss him in public? In front of your coworkers that was a few feet away from the two of you, clearly observing the whole scenario.

'I'm not a shy one, doll. Let them all see that you're taken, not to mention...Isn't it rude not to thank me for this treat?'

The bastard was playing with you now, and you knew that if you denied his words the outcome wouldn't be pretty; you constantly thought of your brother and how you need to protect him, despite you being his little sister.

"If I kiss you, will you leave?" you asked in a hushed voice, your face inches from his own, that smirked at your question, nodding slowly.

Taking a deep breath you leaned on your toes, so you could reach him and pressed your lips shyly against his rough ones, the kiss all innocent, until his free hand moved from your waist to the back of your neck, his fingers stroking the skin there, his tongue pocking out to brush against your lips.

You opened your eyes and looked into his half-lidded brown one, his gaze speaking 'Open up or else', so you slowly parted your lips, allowing him entry and he sure did take advantage of it, deepening the kiss and rubbing his tongue over yours, a slight moan vibrating from you, then as it started, it ended, leaving you a shocked and breathless mess.

Jesse knew you enjoyed it more than you let it know, the smug look he gave you, speaking much more.

'Thanks, doll. You're a peach, also I will pick you up after work and we are going to my place for a drink or two.'

That was his last message before he went inside the car, driving off and leaving you all speechless. Well, at last, you got free lunch, so you headed back inside the police station, not before taking a glance at your coworkers outside who had confused, shocked, and amused faces.

Great, you will be the primary discussion for one week from the looks of it. Walking down the hallways, you got inside your office, your partner still working while one of the female officers was there chatting with him. Her eyes looked up and when she saw you she smirked knowingly.

"What's with that smirk?" you asked, setting down the box with the food, getting ready to eat.

"How come you never told anyone you had a boyfriend? And a rich as fuck one." she said, with a raised eyebrow. Great, she was one of these gossip sharks who would love to sink their teeth into you for more spicy details.

"I don't think that is any business for work." you replied, trying not to give any information to this predator.

"I always thought you were asexual, but my....Girl, you really know how to pick em." she said, sitting down on your partner's desk, making him look up at her with an acidic look. Well, at last, you weren't the only one who wanted to stab her in the mouth.

"I mean...He is one tall fella...I bet his dick is something to be afraid of." she continued, her words made your coworker choke on his coffee, obviously disgusted by her dirty comments.

"How rich is he? Judging by his car and the way he dresses....I bet he rubs his money on your pussy, girl." she joked, laughing, only to stop when you banged your fist on your desk.

"Get the fuck out!" you screamed, a vicious glare shot directly in her direction. She made a quick dash for the door, tripping over her high heels on her way out. Your partner chuckled at your outburst.

"Well, that was quite amusing on your part. Never saw you angry before." he commented nonchalantly.

"All I want is to be left alone and do my work. I hate gossips." you groaned out, starting to eat your lunch, the delightful taste of it calming your nerves down.

"Good luck with that. This place stinks of predators ready to devour any information you have on yourself. I thought you knew this after so many months."

"Well, I wasn't exactly into the spotlight, until now." you grumbled, chewing on your food.

"Get used to it."

The rest of the day at work was full of tension; each time someone entered your office, he or she commented something about your 'lover', some comments were innocent some made your skin crawl.

You stretched your arms above your head as you saw that it was ending of the program; you couldn't wait to get home and have a bubble bath...maybe a movie? Of course, the pleasant dream was destroyed, when you remembered that Jesse had already plans for you.

As you exited the police station, you weren't that much surprised that the luxurious black car was waiting for you. Jesse wasn't joking and it made you start to walk towards it when he honked, signaling for you to hurry up.  You got inside the car, into the passager seat, next to Jesse, but not even sparing him a glance.

'Not gonna give daddy a kiss?' the robotic voice spoke up, making you blush and look slowly at him, reluctant as you saw the serious look he sported. Gulping down, you gave his scarred cheek a quick kiss, making the man smirk and laugh silently.

He let that go, and starting driving to his place, the drive there was as silent as ever, not even him giving you looks or anything, and that only amplified the tension.

After driving for one hour or so, you two got to his place, parking his car and leading you inside. All the flashbacks from what happened inside came to you, making you halt your steps a little, only for Jesse to push lightly on your lower back.

Entering, you didn't even have the time to speak, as Jesse pushed you against a wall, his arms caging you against his body, his nose buried into the crook of your neck, taking deep inhales of breath.

"W-What are you doing?" you shuttered, trying to push a little against his chest. He moved a little from you, taking his phone out so he could communicate with you.

'How was work?'

You narrowed your eyes at his question.

"Because of you, I was feeling like I was in a tank full of piranhas. You have any idea how people love to stick their nose into others business?" you asked with annoyance, glaring up at Jesse, who only smirked at your spitfire attitude.

'I know, but what's the problem? Let them all know who owns you. By the way, love that comment about how you are my sugar baby. Got me a little rilled up, doll.'

You couldn't take it anymore, you pushed hard against his chest, taking him by surprise as he stumbled one step behind.

"I have enough of this! I'm not an object you can own. I'm an independent woman and I can do whatever I want!" you screamed out at him, and in an instant, he had his hand wrapped around your throat, your back connecting again with the wall, but much harsher.

Jesse snarled down at you, brown eye flashing with annoyance.

'You think you have a choice? Well, you do have, but I don't think you want to lose your dear brother, because of this stupid female pride. You will get used to it, and maybe love it at some point, to be my gorgeous trophy on my part of the arrangement.'

Fear struck you, as you tried to pry his hand off of you, but without any luck.

'I suggest you learn your place. Trust me, I'm far worse than Asa.'

You whimpered, your eyes closed to look Jesse in the eye.

'All you have to do is get down on your hands and knees and by my little baby girl. Pretty easy for a spitfire as yourself. I will enjoy ripping this independence off of you.'

You felt humiliated by his words and squeaked as you felt his lips brush against yours. Your mind kept telling you to just take it what comes at you, that being arrogant and prideful won't save you or your brother.

'Don't let the sin of pride destroy what is most precious for you.' That's what your mind kept repeating over and over. A sigh left your lips, opening them for Jesse who smirked in victory and began to kiss you feverishly.

That was...until, a loud bang of the front door caused both of you to pull away, a fuming and angry Asa into the opened doors, obsidian eyes narrowing at Jesse.

"You. I thought we agreed on sharing her." he spoke, surprisingly calm, but you knew he was one more way from exploding into an inner rage.

'What's got your panties in a bunch, old man.' Jesse spoke through his phone, making Asa take a wide step forward.

"I saw her first." Asa snarled and you were shocked that Jesse was all laid-back about this.

'So? She's on my territory now. Finder's keeper.'

That last comment destroyed Asa's calmness and he lunged at Jesse, throwing a fist straight to the taller man's nose, your eyes widening as you took in the scene, both of them fighting, resulting in a bruised nose for Jesse, who spit blood out, and a busted lip for Asa; still they continued.

You couldn't take this anymore, so you followed your instincts, getting between them, your hands pushing against Asa's chest.

"S-Stop it! This is insane!" you screamed, making them stop and looked at you with shocked and unsure expressions.

Jesse was holding his bruised nose, blood coming out, and following down his mouth, his brown eye narrowed at the smaller male. You looked up to see one of Asa's eyes that started to form a purple bruise along with his busted lip, bleeding.

Asa looked down at you with a glare and something else you couldn't point out. You knew he was still angry by his deep inhales of breath.

"I-It isn't his fault! I agreed to come....I-I am sorry!" you tried to form out some excuses. Why? You didn't know. You might as well have let them beat the hell out of each other or even kill one another.

"You're sorry?" Asa calmly asked, taking a step towards you, only for you to step backward, until your back meets Jesse's front, who looked down at you with an equally bruised face as Asa.

"Are you trying to play us?" Asa snarled, eyes looking so feral down at you, all you could manage to get out were whimpers.

"Are you trying to get us against each other?" Asa asked again, his hand crawling up your chest until he grasped your neck, your eyes wide with terror.

"I've been patient, thought maybe we should have taken you easy and gentle." Asa continued, looking at Jesse, who's mouth pulled from a scowl to a smirk, already figuring out what they wanted to do to you.

"You're a brat. You know what happens to disobedient snobby brats?" Jesse's phone spoke up, one of his hands grasping and squeezing harshly your hip.

"You're gonna get punished tonight." Asa spoke firmly, his fingertips rubbing the skin of your neck, making you gulp down in anxiety for what was to come.

"Tonight. We. Are. Going. To. Fuck. You." Each word was spoken from Jesse's device along with a roll of his hips into yours, making you feel what was to come.

You. Were. Fucked.

To be continued...

[angerissue]

Confluence

House of Cards | 4,100+ words | Bruce is having trouble adjusting to life at Avengers Tower. Tony catches him at an inopportune moment.

One year earlier, when the Chitauri invasion had drawn to a close and the city was a bed of rubble and alien corpses, Avengers Tower had felt welcoming to Bruce. It was a source of temporary stability; a chance to collect himself before he faded back into the ether and progressed to the next phase of his uncertain existence. This existence had been vindicated somewhat, over the course of the team's slow formation, and his contributions (whether scholarly or otherwise) that were somehow far less ineffectual than he expected. But all the sentiment in the world didn't change cold, hard facts; in the end, his situation remained the same as ever. He was better off somewhere more obscure, and a bit slower-paced. So he reinforced the connections he made with the team, and left New York behind.

Nowadays, Avengers Tower doesn't feel too welcoming. Bruce considers it no more than a halfway house for someone down on their luck, bobbing around like a cork in the ocean until they reach solid ground again. He fits the bill for this. After his various successes with S.H.I.E.L.D. over the past year, from the developments in his research to the cataloguing of essential data on his condition, he never planned on regressing so much that he became reliant on Tony again. Unfortunately, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a little more rotten than he originally believed. He could tolerate the rationale behind Phase Two, and their intention to find applications for mildly hazardous tech, as long as the intentions remained honest, but he couldn't do much about Hydra, maddening as it was. He couldn't stop the eventual demise of S.H.I.E.L.D., or his unemployment and the loss of momentum that ensued.

Suffice to say, his options were limited.

He’s been at the Tower for a week now. Bitter about the accommodations, under the impression he shouldn't need them; he should have found a way to make do without knocking on that figurative door and begging Tony for boarding (because he refuses to believe there wasn't another option; he simply couldn't find it), he’s spent most of his time in solitude. Stuck in the liminal space between acceptance of the situation, and refusal to accept it. His status quo with S.H.I.E.L.D. had been too satisfactory to simply forget about, because it's one of the few times something had gone without a hitch for him. He was compelled to continue clutching those memories close, as if by sheer willpower S.H.I.E.L.D. would reappear with a cleaner order of business, and an opening in their research division.

Wishful thinking, Banner.

He’ll be putzing around here for a while.

In the process, he’s been excusing himself from most interactions, except when he's raiding the kitchen and passing one or two teammates on the way, or retreating to his living quarters in the early hours of the morning, at which times his teammates would not be stirring, but shut away in their own spaces, save for Tony himself, who's proven himself a night owl yet again, AC/DC on full blast. Steve has lent the occasional hand on his shoulder, and offered an understanding ear (not that the doctor's taken him up on the offer, being reluctant to unload his preoccupations on him), and Romanoff has given him a few sympathetic glances. None of these actions have been unexpected, because they both worked at S.H.I.E.L.D. with him, and he assumes they both share the aimlessness he's experiencing now. There was a predictability in the madness at S.H.I.E.L.D.; in the volatility of their everyday work. But this common thread doesn't make socializing easier.

He's been making a considerable effort to avoid Tony in particular. A week ago, when he was standing in the entrance of the building, duffel bags sagging on the floor and his posture too deflated to mean anything but weariness, Tony had subjected him to a flurry of questions, most of which were painfully direct ones about his health, diet, and whether the "other guy" was giving him a hard time. Tony didn't even pose them in a tongue-in-cheek manner; his expression made it evident that he was concerned about him. The way his gaze was poking and prodding and searching his face, like he was expecting to find additional defects in him; new lines and wrinkles that were not present before... Like he could see all the nights of debilitating uneasiness that he'd suffered. Like he was trying to find a way in. Peel back the pretenses. The scrutiny had exhausted Bruce.

Bruce never did answer his questions. He feared if he did, Tony would start following him around, under the impression he wanted the company when it wasn't the case. It would have bred resentment towards Tony, which Bruce couldn't stomach; this would not have been fair to the man. Misleading others is a familiar custom for him, dare he even call it a habit, but he tends to reserve it for the moments when it's practical and beneficial for both parties. Not the case here, evidently.

He simply bit his tongue, and allowed Tony to check him in.

This isn't to say Bruce was ungrateful for the accommodations. He was rather smitten with them, especially once he learned that Tony had overhauled certain spaces to suit his preferences. Some of the areas dedicated to R&D were soundproofed and relieved of their video surveillance, and he was even allocated his own bespoke living quarters (complete with a spacious bedroom and blackout curtains), all of which has provided a welcome and much-needed channel for his solitude. An acceptable environment in various senses. Bruce found it odd initially, knowing that Tony could decipher him so well that accurate renovations to the building were feasible; he felt more than a little exposed; turned inside-out like an old sweater, but at least it happened with Tony as opposed to a more unsavoury person. Sterns. Ross. Samson. All objectionable. Still, the renovations have been insufficient for boosting his mood. Discontentment still hangs over him like a rain cloud.

And it's been causing his symptoms to be... Rockier than usual. Earlier onset. More punishing. More difficult to conceal. Fortunately, he can be alone most of the time, and easily sequester himself in the tower's many laboratories. It's proving even more beneficial today.

Oh, especially today.

Here goes round one of trying to hide something that, if discovered, could affix Tony to his back like a kick-me sign.

Bruce crosses his fingers that someone else won't enter the lab and interrupt him, taking one last glance at the entrance before he unbuttons his shirt and removes it. With a few methodical, well-rehearsed motions, he folds it and places it down on the nearby desk stool. Then he lifts his glasses from his nose, fingers pinching the tender imprints where they'd been resting, and centers them on top of the shirt, followed by his socks. He's spent a year refining the same steps, making them more efficient and less cumbersome. The rest of the process has become easier to bounce back from as well, especially because there's no discomfort from it anymore. There's no scuffle. No tug-of-war between himself and something dark and distorted; no black ink bleeding into his mind like a swelling bruise. There was never something else in the first place, from what he’s gathered over the last year. He knows better than to believe verifiably false ideas like this now.

(Especially because it was borne of denial, which seems to be a running theme in his neck of the woods. He won’t make the same mistake twice.)

There's a forbearance, and a peacefulness to the change. By this point, it's become a routine — the muffled cracking and reforming of bones, releasing tension like a set of popped knuckles. The chill in his blood, drowned in warmth that radiates and diffuses into his fingertips, green threading and mapping itself over paling skin. Bruce reaches for the nearest desk, gripping the edge for balance as his breathing falters; stops, and under the fluorescent lights, his shadow shifts and settles into something a little less human.

It's over in seconds. He doesn't dwell on it, nor is he a host to annoyance or anger. He merely is, existing in this pocket of time with a calm awareness, albeit with ears more attuned to the surrounding space and echoes of the laboratory. For a while, he lingers in the lab, wandering around; gingerly rearranging the supplies on the desk into more organized layouts. He would keep working on the tentative linac blueprint from earlier this week, but now isn't the time. He knows his limits. Math is one of them. He won’t bother.

Then, he hears the door to the laboratory slide open. He freezes, green eyes darting to the entrance.

Tony.

Tony marches into the laboratory, staring down at a tablet in his hands. His voice is nonchalant. Unbothered. "Hey, doc, sorry to crash your party. Just gotta...” He looks up from his device, and as their gazes connect, surprise flickers across his face. He stops walking. “Oh.”

Banner simply stares back at him, his own eyes wide.

After a moment, Tony breaks the ice. His voice is casual, like a coworker walking into the office with a tray of morning coffee. “Hey, big guy. Didn’t know you were out and about.” As he talks, his eyes skirt around the room, over the desks and monitors and apparatuses, as if he's searching for proof this wasn't an uncontrolled incident. Soon, his attention catches the neatly-stacked pile of clothing on the desk stool, remaining there for a beat before he blinks and looks at Banner again, the hamster wheel in his brain clearly running full-tilt but unable to put two and two together. The look on his face screams puzzlement, and while it doesn't contain any fear, that doesn't mean much. This is Tony Stark. He must have been missing when they were handing out self-preservation and common sense, because he doesn't have an ounce of either in his body — not if Banner's previous encounters with him were any indication. Images of an electrical prod flicker in his mind, fluttering around like moths. He feels the sting in his side where it jabbed him.

Nope. No self-preservation at all.

Tony meanders toward the nearest desk and picks up a device from it, stacking it on top of his tablet. Then he looks at Banner again, still remarkably at ease. “Tell Bruce I said hi, will you?” He shrugs. “If he’s down for it, I mean. Seems a bit grumpy lately. Not that there’s anything wrong with being grumpy,” he adds, pointedly raising his hand.

Banner immediately takes offense to the billionaire's nonchalant words, because... Grumpy. That’s what he takes from this; that’s what he thinks of him? To mock him and pick on his tendencies behind his back, without realizing he's actually talking to his face, and without even bothering to read between the lines and guess for himself why he's been reluctant to converse; how abhorrent... And piteous. Surely if Tony put on his thinking cap for more than a moment, he'd learn the source of his unhappiness in the current situation; the grievances from having to depend on someone else once again. All those grievances are collecting in his brain like old and rotting bones, and if he could be elsewhere, he would, and he will; he doesn't need the invincible Iron Man to kiss his booboos better in the meantime. He’s not so weak. And he’s not ‘grumpy’. Averse to conversing, his gaze hardens, eyes acidic beneath the shelf of his brow. He straightens up and turns away, folding his arms in dismissal.

Buzz off, tin man.

But the tin man doesn’t leave. He does the opposite. Banner can hear his footsteps tracking over the tile, slowly nearing him, as if he's unsure about the situation and he wants to observe the outcome... How characteristic of him. Banner doesn’t intend on cooperating, because he doesn't want Tony breathing down his neck and puncturing his personal bubble, and he doesn't want to be treated like a doormat and a source of amusement and entertainment. This was supposed to be his own space, as Tony had claimed earlier this week, and he's compelled to defend it. Gritting his teeth, he turns his head just a little, enough to catch Tony hanging in his peripheral. Too close... Way too close. Irritation brews in the pit of his stomach and breathes into his chest like a fanned flame. When he speaks, every word is deliberate, the syllables dropping one by one with a dark rasp. "Don’t. Come. Closer.”

Tony halts. “You can talk? Jesus. Way to keep me in suspense.”

Banner stiffens, his eyes darting around the room in search of a reprieve from the blunder. His decision to speak was sloppy. Poorly considered. The less Tony knows and suspects about his condition, the less he'll bother him for conversation. But the cat's already out of the bag. No going back. All he can do is avoid revealing any more information to Tony... Which will be arduous, because Tony is persistent and doesn't take "no" for an answer; the moment he’s given even the smallest amount of leeway, the entire leash will be pulled taut until it snaps; he’ll stick his nose into matters until he’s satisfied with the answers he finds, and he’s already testing his patience; testing his nerve. Agitated by the idea, Banner turns around, chin dipping as he looks down at Tony, features bent into a frown. His lungs bloat and compress, hot air billowing from flared nostrils.

“Easy, big guy,” Tony says, beginning to back away. “I’ll get out of your hair. Before I do... You wouldn’t happen to know why Banner has a bee in his bonnet, would you? Could use a few pointers. You know, to get the ball rolling.”

A bee... In his bonnet. The second accusation of anger stings Banner more than the first, an electric shock to his confidence, and his irritation bubbles up and spills over like scalding water. He wouldn't hurt Tony because he's not a monster, and he's never wanted to be one, but he lacks the patience to let Tony bully him. He curls his lip into a poorly-contained snarl, teeth glinting under the harsh laboratory light, and he tries to contain the threatening sound that resonates in his throat, but it kicks forward at once, ragged and guttural as he leans down toward Tony until their noses are nearly touching. His words spill out, voice booming throughout the lab and blowing Tony's hair back. "I'm not mad!"

Tony staggers back and nods, trying to deescalate the situation. Then, he pauses. Skepticism clouds his features, his brow knitting. “‘You’?” After a moment of silence, his expression only crinkles more, eyes squinting as if he can’t believe his ears. “Wait a minute. Bruce?”

Banner shuts his mouth, jaw clenching as he realizes his error. Not good. He shakes his head, turning around and walking away. “Go away.”

“Nuh-uh. You can’t tell me to beat it, not after that.” Tony drops his devices onto the nearest desk. “Couples’ therapy. Now.”

Banner fumes, the beginnings of panic twisting his stomach into a nauseating knot. He knew the billionaire would stick to him like gum on the bottom of a shoe, as soon as something caught his attention enough, but he never expected their conversation to go off the rails entirely, and he needs to stem the bleeding before something more happens and he makes an even bigger fool of himself, which is imminent if he plays along with Tony's stupid games... He doesn't want Tony buzzing around him like a horsefly... No talking. No chumming around like pals at a picnic. He doesn't listen to Tony's orders and continues to trudge away, steering himself toward the entrance of the lab. He can hear Tony behind him, following in hot pursuit. Then he hears him call out.

“J, get the door, will you?”

Without any human interaction, the glass door slides closed with a mechanical click, right in Banner's face. Incensed from the sudden lack of escape, he whirls around and crouches low, staggering his stance, muscles rolling as they flex beneath sickly green skin. Ready. Waiting. He emits a low growl.

Tony crosses his arms. His feet are planted firmly, and he doesn’t budge. “Not buying it.”

Banner groans in frustration, shoulders dropping as he straightens up and kicks at the floor. There goes his bluff, and there goes the tin man's lack of self-preservation again, bothersome and impossible to maneuver around. But it doesn't convince him to cooperate, even if he's too well-mannered to smash down the doors and make his own exit; he's not going to let him win. Itching to put more distance between himself and Tony, he lumbers around the desks until he's on the opposite side as Tony is, and then he stands his ground. His breaths come in rough and forceful gusts. Every cell in his body is on the defensive, ready to move again.

Tony is unimpressed. “Really?”

“Not talking!”

“No shit,” Tony says, throwing his arms up. “Been noticing all week. Got an expiration date, for it? Because I gotta say, I’m...” He gestures to Banner's massive frame, more miffed than afraid. “More than a little intrigued, and there are about a dozen models I could use your input on. Not counting the backlog.”

The retort doesn't appease Banner, because in his mind, there is no expiration date. His openness cannot be predicted like the weather. But before he can even open his mouth and respond, Tony seems to fall pensive, and it makes Banner pause. Save for the electric humming of the fluorescence above them, and the quiet whir of devices, the room falls into an uncomfortable silence.

The silence is soon punctured by Tony, who pulls a desk stool closer with a metallic scrape and takes a seat. Mouth tightening into a thin line, he stifles a sigh and looks down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs. His earlier arrogance is gone, lost in transit somewhere.

Unsure what to think, Banner waits.

“Look, doc,” Tony begins. “Not to make this a greeting card moment, but I missed you. When you left. And I get it — you don’t want to be here. You have things you’d rather be doing.” Tony shrugs, pursing his lip. “Maybe it’s got something to do with me. Wouldn’t hold it against you.”

Banner doesn't respond. His green eyes mellow as he observes the man, because there's no frivolity in his expression whatsoever, and he cannot help the bafflement that stirs inside, because it doesn't make sense... Tony, the reason for his seclusion? No. That conclusion... How did Tony reach it? Is that how he's come across ever since he arrived; unsociable to the point of seeming cross and petty and petulant? Is it the reason for Tony's visit now? Getting answers? The room between them is quiet, but his mind is loud, spinning with questions that gain more and more speed as time ticks on.

Eventually, Banner throws a wrench into the contemplations, stopping them in their tracks. None of them matter. End results are end results, and Tony is sad. Not feeling well. Unhappy. He inhales, dispelling a sigh as he crosses his arms and looks down at his feet, toes curling in discomfort. His shadow is motionless as his awareness folds inward. It doesn't seem like a good idea, conversing with someone he never wanted to converse with, because he doesn't want to come across as a pushover; as a baby brother that Tony can boss around on a whim. Yet at the same time, it does feel like a good idea. How funny. Or perhaps not so funny.

Necessary.

Because he feels... Bad. He doesn't want Tony to tumble into his hole of assumptions again, and more self-loathing because of it. Not again. Never again. He never wanted to hurt him. To hurt people. Achieving this was troublesome at times; the "other guy" was erratic and unstable for ages, and he broke more than he built. But here, it wasn't the other guy that hurt Tony.

It was Banner that hurt Tony. And Banner is sorry.

“Not your fault,” he rumbles, still unable to meet his eyes. Then he pauses, fishing for words in the alphabet soup of his brain. He sees an intricate and profound bundle of words somewhere in his head; an explanation that could easily surface if he was less green, and he scrunches his face in an attempt to make it clearer. But the words are out of reach. “Change is... Not fun.”

In his peripheral, he can see Tony nod, appearing to process the comment. “Checks out. Thanks, doc; that’s... A load off my mind. And sorry, by the way. For calling you grumpy. Figured I was, well...” He rubs the back of his neck. “Talking to someone else.”

Banner grimaces and tucks his shoulders, disgust from Tony's earlier words sparking in his belly again. He doesn't want to hear it, and he doesn't want the reminder of how contagious his denial had been; how everyone on the team was following his lead and splitting him into halves when it wasn't so; it was a dumber and sadder time in his life and he doesn't want to relive it. But he subdues the annoyance, crushing it down like a soda can. Soon, it’s simply a nagging feeling. Done with. For the most part. He still carries the momentum from their argument, and he's not in the frame of mind to set everything to a sappy and saccharine soundtrack. He's not going to open himself up like a blooming flower. At the same time, he's not going to leave Tony out in the cold. He rolls his eyes and continues to stare down at the floor, forcing himself to respond with tact. “Fine.”

“So does this mean we’re good?” Tony asks. He stands up from his seat, stepping around the desk until he’s in front of the doctor. “Sorry — hard to tell. Not used to... This.”

He nods, still avoiding eye contact.

“Great.” Tony offers his hand. “Shake on it?”

Banner looks at him, then down at the hand. Pauses. Thinks. Too small to shake. He extends a curled fist instead, and waits.

Tony returns the fist bump, tiny knuckles tapping Banner’s own. A grin spans across his face, eyes bright. “Good to have you back, doc,” he says, reaching for his devices on the desk. “I’m gonna head out now. Give you a few. You know where to find me, if you want to say hi.” He turns around, heading for the door.

Banner stands there, shifting his feet. He’s won. Tony is leaving. But somehow, he feels like he’s lost. Because something is already missing from the room; it's like the space has broadened upon Tony's presence and doesn't want to return to normal... It doesn't want to shrink down again. Stuck three sizes too big. In that moment, Banner knows the reason. He's forgotten about the stimulating conversations and arguments and the firecracker spark that Tony exudes, without even meaning it, and after a year of its absence, he's just gotten a taste of it again. That fire. That gumption. He wants more. It felt good, to shout; to argue; to bounce off someone else. He could be brash without inspiring fear. Tony's fearlessness towards him might be dumb at times, but it's dumb in an endearing way. A tolerant way.

All those memories in his head — he's not scowling in them. He's smiling.

He doesn't want to continue everything later. Too late. Too slow. It's agonizing. He’s never been good at waiting for something he wants, least not in his body. If he were shorter and smaller; weaker, he would argue the merits of bothering Tony and taking up his time and wedging himself into a moment he didn't belong, but it doesn't occur to him. The distance between thought and action is much shorter.

He plods forward and reaches out, tapping Tony’s shoulder.

The billionaire stops and turns around again, looking up at him expectantly.

“Stay.”

Tony’s reaction is immediate. Fondness in his eyes, he starts heading toward the desks again, giving the doctor a pat on the arm as he passes him. “Happy to. Thanks, Bruce.”

[inkrabbit]

I haven't posted much, but I have been writing little snippets here and there when I'm not doing something else. So I decided to gather all the snippets I liked and put them together to show what I'm working on, and what I want to eventually work on. Most of these are stories I have planned for WD: Legion, but a couple are for my own personal works.

Unnamed Prison Love Story

Of course the other inmates had liked her. Most of them hadn't even seen a woman in years. But apparently she had more to offer them than just a pretty face to stare at. Everyone had said how nice she had been, talked softly and treated them with respect. She let them vent and talk about whatever they wanted, and she was a lot more lenient than any guard would ever dream of being. She would remove their cuffs and set it on the desk next to her chair, and she would sit only a few feet away. She pushed every boundary she could, and she took every chance with the inmates. She even argued with the guards who told her otherwise.

Sitting before her now, he finally understood the excited rumors he heard in passing. A calm and serene vibe had filled the warm room, and for a moment, he almost forgot he was trapped in prison and would soon be escorted back to his small, cold cell. She had kept a smile on her face, spoke softly and respected his boundaries when he didn't want to talk about a subject. She made him feel safe and acknowledged, encouraging him to talk about his day or how certain things made him feel. She made him feel like he was more than just another number in the system.

What's more, the woman was free. She didn't dress in the finest threads, opting for shirts that displayed band names he had almost forgotten, and her hair was never pulled back like it should've been. Another boundary she pushed; a test for him. To see if he would lunge at her like some of the others would try, use her hair to their advantage. But why would he? Sitting across from him, a notepad in hand, she didn't ignite anything violent inside him. If anything, she calmed down whatever fire stayed lit.

She became his breath of fresh air, and he found himself almost anxious for each session with her. The sweet scent of her perfume would always make his head spin as it filled the room. He had considered asking her once before in the beginning what it was, but the Devil on his shoulder had forced him to stay quiet. Back then, he had hated the woman and would refuse to talk, figuring she was just as bad as everyone else and that these little “therapy” sessions were just a way to find any weaknesses he had. But she never seemed exhausted or irritated by his silence. She gave him time, sat there with her soft smile and blank notepad and told him they would talk whenever he was ready. He never intended on giving in, but the one day he had gotten blood on his hands, he heard that change in tone.

The soft voice turned to concern, but she didn't throw accusations at him like he had expected. Oh no, she had actually asked him what the other inmate did to make him upset. The adrenaline that coursed through him had calmed down and he had finally opened his mouth. Not once did she interrupt him. She sat there and listened, scribbled down whatever she seemed important, and went back to listening. And when he was done, fists clenched and his body barely shaking at the rage that threatened to rise up, she finally moved. Slow and almost hesitant, testing the waters. He watched her carefully, how her rings shone in the bright sunlight that poured in through the windows, silver bands with various symbols. He let her approach him, and he let her take a seat on the old couch with her. Her touch was gentle and warm when she took his hand in her own, admiring his bruised and busted knuckles, flecks of dried blood decorating the skin that hadn't been properly washed.

“You did what you felt you had to,” she told him softly, “Maybe you overdid it. Maybe you should've stopped sooner. But you stood your ground for what you believed in. There's nothing wrong with that.”

It was the first time he had looked her in the eye, and he had immediately gotten lost within them. The feeling that quelled his rage had scared him, a certain type of vulnerability that made it seem like the woman could read his deepest and darkest thoughts. And yet, a part of that excited him.

WD: Legion – Dark AU – Love Path

“Daniel!” Sabine’s steps are hesitant as she walks forward, gun trained on the Irishman sitting on the edge with his back to her. He’s fiddling with something in his hand, a soft light illuminating his glove.

“Don’t suppose you found her on the way up?” he calls back, not even picking up his head.

“Who are you talking about?” He hadn’t mistook her for one of his members, had he? No, she was certain he recognized her voice. He had easily picked her out before.

She flinches when he starts to move, fist closing around the item in his hand as he slowly curls his legs back and lifts himself up. It’s the first time she’s seen him actually hunch over, and those once cold hazel eyes are alight with an emotion she’s not certain of. Still, there’s a slight smile that’s pulling at his lips, but it’s not the normal confident and smug grin she’s grown accustomed to.

“I always thought Dalton was a right idiot for liking you,” Dan laughs softly, “Didn’t understand what he felt until I experienced it meself...”

Dalton’s name leaves a bitter taste on her tongue, but she’s still focused on the man standing before her. The way he’s speaking isn’t normal, a distant tone in his voice instead of calm and velvety. Her eyes flicker over to his wrist, a silver bracelet glistening in the dull light that surrounded them. That was new. From what she knew, the only jewelry he wore were the piercings he had in his ears. He seems to perk up at this, extending his left arm and showing the bracelet off.

“She gave this to me. I’m guessing you didn’t hear?” She furrows her brows. Hear what? “Met a young woman that actually liked me. Made me feel... something. Enough to actually try and get help. I even stepped down as leader from DedSec. Let Jeremy take over.” This was news to her. From what she knew, Dan still led the group. Guess that wasn’t the case anymore. “She’s disappeared again. I thought Jeremy had something to do with it, but...” He opens his hand, tossing the item out. It was an optik, still glowing as it clattered to the ground. “I only found this when I got up here. I take it you didn’t see anyone on your way up?”

“No,” Her response draws a soft but sad chuckle from him. His step forward forces her to take one back.

“Well come on, then!” he calls out, raising his voice and straightening up, outstretching his arms to the side. She can tell he’s doing his damnedest to look normal, but that faulty smile on his face is throwing it off. It all looked wrong and out of place. She has gotten so used to doing the cocky and manipulative man. “Don’t think I wanna stick around if I can’t find her. Medicine and “fixing meself” don’t mean shite if I’m doing it for nothing.”

Something Stupid – 50's Love Story

“Did you want anything while I'm out?”

Of course he knew the answer, his second-in-command, Luciano, having been annoying him about pancakes all morning. But the look on the younger man's face was priceless, honey colored eyes widening as he stands from his crouched position. A bright smile spreads across his face as he wipes away the dirt on his hands, standing straight before his leader.

“You're finally gonna get me those pancakes?!” he squeals, “I just want those with extra syrup.”

“You're lucky I'm gettin' 'em at all,” Lighting up a cigarette, Kazimir turns his heels, headed for his car. “If that's all, I'll see you later. Gonna see if Nick is gonna cooperate this time and give us that protection money.”

“Good luck!” Starting up the engine, he waves goodbye to his friend and pulls away from the old compound, keeping the window rolled down as he takes a drag from his cigarette. There was a little diner the gang frequented that was a few minutes away. The food was average, and he hated how stubborn the owner was with the protection fee, but there was one waitress in that establishment that made it all worth while: Aurora Rossi, a beautiful Italian woman with the personality of a saint. She had treated the gang just like she would any other customer, and she indulged in the small conversations they had dragged her into here and there. He stayed quiet most of the time, knowing if he got too rowdy himself he would lose control of everyone, but he could never take his eyes off of the woman.

The parking lot is thankfully empty as he pulls in, parking in a spot closest to the door. He wouldn't be long; he knew the workers there hated him and his crew, always desperate to make them leave quickly. The little chime of the bell atop the door rings in his ears as he enters the diner, eyeing the staff. He can see them talking among themselves, scared eyes flickering back and forth between coworkers and himself. He was used to this treatment, especially in this little restaurant. No one ever wanted to help him, and if it weren't for the fact they all had a job to do, they probably would've went running.

Oh, but there's his little angel he had been dying to see, her red lips curled back in a genuine, friendly smile. He leans against the counter as she approaches, hands folded in front of her.

“Did you need to look at the menu, sir?” she asks. Her sweet voice makes his heart flutter, but he maintains his cool, shaking his head.

“Just a couple things to go,” He watches her dig out the notepad from the pocket of her apron, sliding the pen out of the metal spirals. A small smirk forms. “Nick also in today?”

“Not today, sorry. He should be back tomorrow though!” Ah, so the old man was hiding from him. Nothing new. They would come back day after day if they had to for that money. But for now, he loses himself in those green eyes, purring out his order and watching her hastily write it down. Pancakes with extra syrup, a ham and cheese omelet, some coffee to go; the list goes on and she stops him occasionally to ask for any sides, how he'd want the toast to be or how the eggs were supposed to be cooked. He knew the gang's order by now. There weren't many who hung around him and the compound they worked out of, but he preferred it this way. He had a group of members he considered close and actually cared about, and the rest ran the odd job for him when he couldn't be bothered.

Aurora rings him up and he makes sure to pull the twenty dollar bill out of his pocket, holding it between his index and middle finger as he hands it over. She looks hesitant, eyebrows raised as she inspects it, and Kazimir chuckles when she asks if he's sure.

“You deal with enough here, sweetheart,” he coos at her, “You deserve to be compensated.”

“Well, that's why I get paid,” Sweet as ever, but he finally coaxes her into taking the money, and she won't stop thanking him as she tucks it into the pocket of her apron. She gives him the estimated time it would take for the food to be ready as she disappears back into the kitchen, and Kazimir takes a seat on one of the stools at the front. He looks around the old diner, the light peach colored walls almost looking white in the afternoon sunlight, and the teal accents popping. Heaven's Diner was known for its bright but calming colors, and the staff were friendly to everyone except Kazimir's gang. Then again, he didn't blame them.

He listens to the soft music playing from the nearby radio, some blues band he didn't know the name of. It's calming, but not something he's used to. Maybe he had just gotten so used to the rock and roll that would play throughout the compound. Still, the music doesn't drown out the clanking of kitchenware in the back, and the occasional barking order from one of the chefs. He rests his elbows on the counter, lacing his fingers together and hooking his thumbs under his chin to keep his head up. Hazel eyes slip shut as he drinks in the ambiance. It was always nice when the diner was empty. He didn't have to deal with the judging looks, or the sour remarks thrown his way from some holier-than-thou old patron. The funny thing was, all of the staff workers would agree with the customers about how horrible he was. Aurora was the only one who never judged him, and had shown a hint of defense when anyone would bring up the gang.

“It's none of my business what they do. I just come here to work,” Those responses were the only time he had ever heard the woman lost her natural bubbly and friendly attitude, her tone turning firm as she would end the conversation there. Maybe that was why he liked her? She never judged them, and never shied away from taking their orders like the other waitstaff had many times before. In fact, Luciano had joked about how she was their personal waitress many times before. The group loved her personality just as much as he did, and they always made sure to leave a tip that went well over that old twenty percent rule. They normally left before they could see the look on her face, but Kazimir had caught her reaction through the window a couple times. A look of surprise that soon turned to excitement, and he cherished those memories.

When Aurora finally returns, she has little to-go boxes piled up on top of a tray with the drinks on the other side. She always was careful bringing everything out, and it's something he appreciates. He knew some of the waitresses would “accidentally” spill drinks on themselves in order to receive larger tips, but his little waitress would always take her time and set everything down gently. Maybe that was another thing he loved about her? Her dignity and pure attitude. He watches her pack them into a bag and slowly load up the drinks in a cup holder. She's slow, diligent, making sure nothing is lopsided and won't move. He can't stop the smile forming on his face as he watches her. A part of him hated how the woman affected him, wiping away that permanent scowl on his face and making his whole body feel lighter than normal. He takes the bag from her, his fingers brushing her as he hooks it around his arm before grabbing the cup holder. She stands before him just like every other time he would order his food to go: a sweet smile on her face, hands folded in front of her as she makes sure he has everything, occasionally smoothing out her apron if she felt a wrinkle in an odd spot.

“Have a good day, sir!” she calls out to him as he makes his way for the door, and he turns his head just enough to shoot a smile back at her. The bell chimes again as he opens the door and walks out, unlocking his car and sitting everything in the passenger seat, even going so far as to put the seat belt over his items so they don't fall on his way back. One last glance inside the diner, and he almost feels disappointed when he sees Aurora has disappeared. Well, he would be back tomorrow to talk to Nick anyway. Maybe he could find an excuse to get the woman's attention as well?

Unnamed WIP

By the time he pulls himself up and trudges to the bathroom, the stinging pain in his throat has faded. He looks at himself in the mirror, his neck and cheek bruised, and his eyes dark. He looks horrible, but he supposes it's not a surprise. What the Kelleys did to him – what the woman just did to him. There's no doubt his body is littered with bruises and cuts, but he can't bring himself to look again. It already caught him off guard when he had bathed in that freezing water. He didn't want to be reminded of the abuse.

The spacious bathroom in itself is cute, albeit bland. White tiles were devoid of any imperfections and dirt, and the bar of soap seated atop a colorful orange dish seems brand new. He leans against the counter, bringing his hands forward and admiring his wrists. They're still bleeding, drops of blood dripping into the sink and staining the once spotless white surface. Hesitantly, he reaches down to open the drawers, stopping once he sees a first aid kit placed in one of them. He's slow to bring it out, the ache in his wrists forcing him to move like a snail.

Everything's new when he opens it. Had the woman just bought these? He picks up the peroxide that was laying inside, tearing into the protective coating and unscrewing the cap. One more seal and it's open. Taking a deep breath, he grabs the bottle and splashes the contents onto to his left wrist, making him cry out. It stung as the cuts started to bubble, white foam covering his skin and dripping into the sink, mixing with the blood. His body is shaking, but he forces himself to douse his right next. It almost feels worse, and he has to hold onto the counter for support, his knees buckling underneath the pain. Deep breaths, anything to calm him down. He sets the peroxide on the counter, picking up the bandages next. He wraps it around his left wrist first, then the right. It stings, but in some odd way, he feels better. The bandages are soft against his skin, comforting and the only thing that feels secure.

He leans against the counter, lips pursed as he focuses on the blood and foam slowly rolling down the drain. He's lost as his body slowly stops shaking, mind blank and eyes stuck. He listens to everything going on around him. That soft hum of the light bulbs above, the beating of his heart, the sizzling in the drain as the excess peroxide runs down. Finally, he moves, turning his wrist to admire it. Blood easily shows up, a stark contrast against the white bandages, staining the area red. Why did any of this have to happen?

He glances to the side of the bathroom, a luxurious bathtub installed, the tiled walls surrounding it shining in the bathroom's light. It seemed so welcoming, the thought of a hot bath, but he can't bring himself to indulge in it. Not yet. He's too tired and too lost in his own thoughts about everything going on. So instead, he moves to the door, flicking off the light and crossing over the bedroom. The bed is soft as he lays down, trying his hardest to keep his weight off of his wrists as he lays on his side. Suppose this was his little home for now. He was scared to know what he was listed as. No doubt the woman would tell him soon enough.

WD: Legion – This Time, I'm staying – Beginning

“Arthur: the one that got away. What does that mean? The one that got away?”

“It's about losing someone you don't want to. Human stuff.”

“Am I… getting away?”

No matter how hard he had tried, that conversation replayed itself over and over, and try as he might, he couldn’t make it stop. It was like a busted record player, stuck in a loop and it was driving him crazy. The snippets he could remember before he was shut down, the thoughts of where he’d go and that fear he finally felt. It was all disgusting, to feel that weak and vulnerable. And yet… he craved more. To finally understand what the operatives felt – what they went through on a daily basis. He had heard them laugh and he had seen them smile. The fading fear in their eyes as they would return from being kidnapped, and the anger in their voices whenever they would pick fights. He wanted to finally understand.

It wasn’t exactly a request on his part, oh no. One of the operatives had caught his attention one day after they had figured out the truth, conjuring up all sorts of ideas. Make a body for Bagley, sort of like the androids and let him roam freely. At first, he had scoffed at the idea, hurling insults his way, but when the concept came up again, he gave it more thought. He was always sending out the operatives on missions, guiding them through everything. Sometimes they couldn’t even complete them properly, either being apprehended or landing themselves in the hospital. So with a bit less hostility, Bagley let the man continue.

Bradley was to be used as the base model. Same facial structure, eye color, body build – the works. Give him back the life he had lost, and the first thing that came to mind was Arthur. Perhaps, after he learned how to act more human, he could track the man down and see why he was so important to him in the first place.

WD: Legion – This Time, I'm Staying – Finding Arthur

“Down, boy,” He watches Dan reluctantly release the man and move back to stand by his side, though his pistol is still drawn. A soft sigh escapes Bagley's lips as he scans the Kelley's optik, just to be sure. Arthur Evans – Johnny Kelley's second-in-command.He knew he was right, but had hoped that he had made some sort of mistake somewhere. Still, he doesn't feel the connection he had hoped he would. Anything that would jar his memories and give him a hint of what he had with the man before Skye Larson had taken it all away from him.

“Who the fuck are you?!” The question is directed solely at Bagley, Arthur's blue eyes wide and looking horrified. Oh, the thoughts that must be going through his head right now.

“I'm Bagley!” he announces proudly, jabbing his elbow against Dan's rib when he hears a soft chuckle. He had a whole speech prepared before this, but looking at Arthur now... had he chosen the right words? He knew how complex human emotions were, and he knew how hostile the Kelleys were. And yet, the curiosity he saw in the man was enough for him to make his decision. “Dan, step outside, will you?”

“And let ya stay in here with this fucker?” he counters. Instead of replying, Bagley just shoos him away, and he's pleasantly surprised when the Irishman takes his leave. The moment the door closes, he steps forward, extending his hand.

“None of this is making sense,” Arthur whimpers out. It's not the tone, or even reaction, he was expecting. He seems dazed, confused, and almost scared. “Just who the hell are you?!”

“I told you. I'm Bagley,” He cocks his head. Had the man not heard him the first time? “I think you know me better as Bradley Lar-”

“Don't,” There's the hostility he was expecting, the hateful look as he grit his teeth. “You don't deserve to say his name!”

“Fine. Since you want to act as a child,” Bagley extends his arms to the side, showing himself off. Arthur is watching him carefully as he turns around, showing off his body and clothes. “I'm Bagley, DedSec's definitely-not-stolen, highly-advanced AI assistant! Do you know who created me? Skye Larson! And do you know whois my neural template?”

“Bradley Larson...” There's a moment where everything goes quiet and still. Before he can say anything else, Arthur is wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace and burying his face in the crook of his neck. It startles him, the feeling of Arthur's breath tickling his neck. He awkwardly brings his hands up, resting them on his back and stroking like he had seen other operatives do when they were consoling someone. This was supposed to make humans feel better right?

“You bastard...” There's a wavering in his voice, something Bagley can't detect. He only realizes the man is close to crying when he pulls back, tears filling his eyes. “You left me, you know that? Planned the wedding and fucking left...”

“I didn't mean to,” he tells him softly, “Or rather, Bradley didn't mean to. I'm still trying to figure this out. I just-”

Arthur is pressing his lips against his, something Bagley easily recognizes as a kiss. This was meant to be a sign of affection, right? This was good, right? He's slow but he finally pushes back against the man, his hands traveling down to rest comfortably on his hips. He knows there's something he should be feeling right now; positive he should be feeling as desperate as Arthur is acting. There is something deep inside him that feels like it wants to awaken, but for some reason he can't make it come out.

WD: Legion – Even if I Die Tonight – Ending of Chapter 9

When the doors open, he follows her down the hall and in front of her flat, waiting patiently as she unlocks the door and flicks on the light. He nearly jumps when he sees Michael groggily sit up, eyes squinted as he looks at them. He finally smiles brightly after a few seconds, waving at Dan.

“Didn't think she'd be bringing you over!” he laughs out, “You guys couldn't have gone next door? It's late.”

Dan can feel his face heating up as he follows Rabbit to another room, the woman yelling at her friend to stay quiet. She tries to ease his nerves, telling him to not listen to him as she sits him down on the bed. The room smells exactly like her perfume and he can't help but look around, laying his jacket on the covers next to him. Just like the rest of the flat, there isn't much. A couple dressers and the bed he sat on, along with a bedside table that held a small, porcelain lamp. However, he can see the stack of books piled up across the room, though it's hard to make out the titles.

“You read?” he asks, catching her attention. She's over by the window, and he can hear things clanking around. Did she store items in a mug?

“Sometimes, when I can actually focus,” she responds. He's surprised to see a small pair of scissors in her hand as she walks back over. Just like last time, her touch is gentle as she cups his face, using her thumb to pull his lip ever so slightly. A soft warning and he hears that little snip as she cuts the thread. There's a little bit of pressure he almost doesn't even register, and once she's set the thread on the bedside table, she cut the remaining stitch.

“Do you read?” The question catches him off guard and he looks up at her. She's not smiling at him but her eyes... oh, he could easily get lost in them. There's a sort of serenity in there, overpowering other emotions he couldn't quite explain, but it drags him in and all he can do is nod. “What do you like?”

“History, mostly,” This seems to make her perk up, and he's pleasantly surprised to hear that was her favored subject. He can't help but smile, especially when she takes a seat next to him on the bed. Their conversation carries on about books, what subjects they prefer to read, and what they like overall. He's not surprised when they don't share many stories, but it's still interesting to listen to. She brings up being interested in psychology, but scoffs when he asks if she ever read any good books regarding the topic. “They're all a load of self-help bullshit.” He can only chuckle. He never really was interested in psychology himself, but she did make it sound interesting; knowing how the human mind worked, what made people tick. He supposed he saw the appeal.

He doesn't stay too long, guilt setting in that he's keeping the woman up so late. Grabbing his jacket and standing up, he follows Rabbit as she walks him out, and he can only laugh when she picks up a pillow to hit Michael when he makes another comment regarding the two. Still, they both wish him a goodnight as he exits the flat, and he can hear their muffled voices on the other side as he closes the door. He shakes his head, though he can't pull the smile from his face as he works on unlocking the door to his flat and slipping inside.

He brushes his fingers over his lip, an odd feeling of relief washing over him when he only feels skin and doesn't come in contact with that damned thread. With a small smile, he makes his way to his room, shedding his clothes and kicking off his boots. Hesitating for just a bit, he makes his way over to the dresser, pulling open one of the drawers and peering inside. He tries to bury the feeling of surprise that comes over him when he sees his gun is still tucked beneath some clothes, sitting right where he had left it.

Shutting the drawer, he moves over to his bed, crawling inside and underneath the blankets. He's not too tired; not enough to the point he'll fall asleep as soon as he head hits the pillow, but he also doesn't have enough energy to find something to pass the time. So instead, he settles on closing his eyes, letting his mind wander here and there. The new job, the hope of getting Bagley back, the newly taken out stitches, the smug look on Michael's face and the peaceful feeling Rabbit radiated. Before he knows it, he's fast asleep.

[seven-oomen]

Hi, Ben!  I hope your day is going well so far!  Are you still getting snow, or has the storm calmed a bit?  We’re supposed to be getting a potentially severe ice storm over the course of today.  There’s already a thin layer this morning, we’ll see how the rest of the day goes.  And temperatures are supposed to stay in about the -4 to -6C range the rest of the week.  I’m very glad that I’m off the next couple of days, and managed to get by the grocery last night after work.

I saw your post about writing and writing styles!  It was helpful because I’ve not really seen the different styles written out and explained before.  I’m still not 100% which I am, but probably either an intuitive plotter or a methodological pantser.  Usually there’s a scene or a line or two that I’m like “this needs to happen in this story” and everything else is fairly free-form.  I did try actually writing down an outline for IYWTD, but even then it’s more a list of beats/tropes and the order I want to include them in.  (And I’ve only just made it past halfway through, although a couple may need to be altered a bit, oh god, how did this get so long…)

It’s also always kinda of amusing to me how many of those writing advice lists are like “Don’t do this”, “Stop doing this”, “Never do that”, and then they’ll encourage you to find your own voice and style.  Like, bitch, you just told me not to ever do half the shit that makes up my style.  Which am I supposed to do?  Damn.  XD  (You will seriously pry adverbs and similar descriptors from my cold, dead, grasping hands.  Also the occasional epithet.  No, I’m not using a character’s name nine times in one paragraph, sorry, and pronouns don’t always help if the characters are the same gender.  The reader can deal. ;D )

And I feel ya on the tall, skinny, blue-eyed boys thing.  It doesn’t have to be just a white boy, but if he’s taller than me, slender, and has a pretty pair of baby blues, my higher brain functions tend to go into insta-lag.  I ain’t particularly proud, but I’ve long accepted this about myself (there are many reasons Luke became my forever BAE.)  That’s not to say a lack of any of those is a deal-breaker in the slightest, but it’s definitely going to immediately get my attention.

Speaking (vaguely) of Luke, I had a thought the other day of him and Din being off on some planet together (Grogu is staying with Aunt Leia and Uncle Han for a few days), and there’s a noise in the middle of the night, and Din refuses to accept Luke’s assurance that there’s nothing out there, and in true himbo fashion insists on going out to investigate having grabbed only the darksaber and his helmet to cover his face -but nothing else.  Luke just finds it a combo of hysterical and adorable (and kinda hot.)

I hope your novel is going well (whatever stage you happen to be at), and I’m always up for hearing whatever you feel like sharing about it.

I hope you’re still doing well with the whole eating and hydrating regularly thing (it’s also totally okay if you aren’t!), and I’m super proud of you for sticking to it as much as you can anyway.  That shit is hard.  (Also, ignore the 1500 calories thing, I swear that shit is designed for 130lb women trying to shed a few pounds, not people who need to safely and steadily lose larger amounts of weight.  But then I’ve also never fully understood making someone lose weight before surgery, either.  “We need you to get rid of some excess weight before we’ll okay this surgery to *checks notes* get rid of some excess weight."  Like, weird flex, but okay.)

Anyway, I’m rambling again, and should really eat some breakfast and try to write a little myself today, maybe.  Hope you’re feeling okay, and that things are going well overall.  I hope Mo is doing well, and enjoying his best cuddle buddy life.  Take care!  *Hugs!*

Okay, gonna try this this way so that I can refer back to the links on my phone if need be.  I couldn’t quite see the full entries for the physical descriptions, and when I tried clicking on them it kept asking for a login, but I think I saw enough to get the gist.  I’m not sure exactly what sort of feedback you’re interested in, if any, so this will mainly be my usual sort of rambling stream-of-consciousness type thoughts and questions.  Hope that’s okay.  Feel free to ignore if it’s not what you’re after right now!  :D

I think one of the first questions that popped to mind was where is/what happened to Ellie’s mom, and is that something that’s going to cause problems later in some way?  (I.e.- was she killed on a hunt, are they divorced, was it bitter or amicable [would she come after her daughter if she heard about his relationship?])  I guess technically similar questions could also apply to Nate (late husband, ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, one night stand, sperm donor?) it was just more noticeable with Ellie being so young still.  Although that could also be part of why he’s ended up in Wyoming, which was another question I had, although there I assume it’s hunt-related.

I also anticipate quite a bit of tension of all kinds when he and Nate first meet, because Faron strikes me from his descriptions as someone rather used to being able to get his own way either through the influence of who he is, or through his size (not necessarily in any kind of intentional or aggressive way, more in an unconscious privilege kind of way, if that makes sense?), and I don’t think Nate sounds like the type to give two shits about either of those things, and it would probably drive Faron up the proverbial wall that Nate isn’t intimidated by him in the slightest.  (I could be entirely wrong about all this, this is just the impression I get so far. :D )  And I think Nate being noticeably older than him would just make it that much more irritating at first, too.  Now, how long these impressions last will just depend on how quickly they get to know each other, and whether Bachelor #3 is helping or hindering things.  XD  The potential for just sitting back and watching the fireworks as “laid-back dad jokes with a quick temper” clashes with “quiet, reserved, and possibly takes themselves slightly too seriously” might prove too much for our last contestant for a while, depending on where his personality falls.  ;D  (Especially since Faron coming in and starting shit will likely come off as a direct threat to people and places Nate considers under his protection.)

Also, are any of these three going to have met before?  Will Nate already have some sort of relationship with the werewolf (Does he already know about the supernatural at all?)  Did he and Faron encounter each other on the trip to Europe you mentioned in the Life Highlights?  If he and the wolf already know each other, how does he get along with Cas, or Nate’s pets?  Is the werewolf also going to be native to the region?  Does he know anything about Faron’s family?  Does Faron already know he’s a werewolf, or is that going to be a bit of a crisis for him later?  A test of how well he’s learned not to judge?  If Nate doesn’t already know, how will he deal with both their secrets?  Do you plan for full-shift only wolves, partial-shift only wolves, or a mix of the two like TW?  Are there other supes in the area?

I think you mentioned maybe having him be of Native American descent?  I think that could be very interesting, but would require a LOT of research into which tribes are active in the Yellowstone area, and what their individual mythologies say about things like shapeshifters, and LGTBQ+ issues, etc., because there can be a fair amount of variance, I’m sure.  Also, I’m just overall curious how he’ll fit in with the other two size wise (get your mind out of the gutter, you know what I mean.  XD )  Also curious if any o them are going to have the slightest clue on the feelings front, or are they all going to be just absolute disasters?  Will the kids figure it out before they do?  Will the kids get along?  (Will BachelorWolf have any kids of his own, or just Nate and Faron?)  Will Nate’s coworkers have any clue about either the supernatural, or what’s going on with those three?  Because I suspect at least some of them will be way more obvious than they think they’re being.  XD

Uh… I think that was all that’s occured to me right now?…  I’m sorry you’re having a yucky day overall, and I hope tomorrow’s a bit better!  The ice storm has finally moved in here, and I can feel the temperature drop radiating off of the front door and windows.  It went from rain to freezing rain/hail and I’m not sure how long it’s supposed to last.  Hopefully only a little while.  Also, sorry your book was terrible.  I haven’t seen too many recent recommendations from friends, and I’ve been mostly reading “cozy” mysteries (Agatha Christie, Elizabeth Peters, etc) as my comfort reading myself, lately, so I can’t really suggest anything in particular, unfortunately.  At least, nothing I think you wouldn’t already know.  Anyway, hope you’re getting some decent rest, and hope you have a better day tomorrow!  Take care!  *Hugs!*

Alright since this is going to be like a very long one, I’m break it down into a few things.

First full physical descriptions, cause I didn’t know Milanote would be a bitch about it.

Nate:

164 cm (5'4), 75 kg (166 lbs), Short slightly overweight trans man in his middle age. Nearly always the shortest man in the room, only standing around 5'4 and weighing in around 166 lbs. With kind moss green eyes that have permanent crow's feet in their corners and a polite but reserved smile always on his face. 

A face that's framed by faint freckles that are only visible in the sunlight. A neatly trimmed beard spices up his features and frames his pink lips. His thick but short eyebrows frame his eyes and create a short arc to his slim nose. 

A high forehead separates his brows from his wavy dark blond hair that's always tucked behind his ears. 

He generally wears the Superintendents' Park Ranger uniform while on duty. When he's not he wears comfortable jeans and t-shirts, usually a mono color like green, white, or black, plaid flannel shirts, socks with the weirdest patterns and colors, and hiking boots. He wears a steel ring on his right index finger and has a little steel Mjolnir on a necklace around his neck.

He's missing two fingers (his ring and little finger) on his left hand due to a childhood accident.

Faron:

185 cm (6'1 ft), 93 kg (205 lbs), Faron is a tall man with plenty of muscle from his time hunting. He can seem daunting and intimidating when you first meet him but there is a kinder, softer side to him. He has a warm light brown skin color, blue eyes, and black natural tight curly hair that he keeps very short. His full dark beard decorates his cheeks and chin, connects to his upper lip, and all the way up to his sideburns.

  He tends to wear dark clothing, leather jackets, no jewelry that could identify him, jeans, henley shirts, or V-neck shirts, and black, brown, or red jackets. He usually wears black combat boots or dark brown hiking boots. He's got knives and other weapons hidden all over his body and pockets and it might take him a good few minutes to unload every single knife from his body when he was to disarm.

There are also scars all over his body, including some scars on his neck that are visible from day to day life. He had the bad luck of being struck down by a vicious Wendigo but managed to escape. He survived thanks to his sister's quick thinking and first aid.

He covers some of those scars up with tattoos; he has one tattoo of a dragon laying down on his shoulder, with its head on his chest and its body curling over his shoulder and ending just below his shoulder blades. And one tattoo covers up some scars on his lower arm, it's a tattoo of a wolf's head that covers up a bite mark.

Dichali:

He’s 37 and has 4 siblings, and two children, Kajika & Kaniya (Jika & Niya, identical twins, but one of them identifies as male, he’s trans. Kajika is his chosen/reassigned name. They are 10.) Dichali grew up in Riverton, WY, which is the largest town of 10,000 in the largest Native Reservation in Wyoming. He’s also a dear friend to our Nate (who is also his boss technically) and has slowly been falling in love with him for the last few years. (Although he still hasn’t realized that he loves his friend.) 

Yena, his coworker and friend, who’s much younger at 25 has been watching her coworker and her boss joke and dance around each other. She has a betting pool with her girlfriend on who snaps first.

Not sure how I’ll connect him to Faron if it’s more fun/better to have him find out later or to already know him and keep it quiet. 

I’m still working on him, so I don’t have much of personality and other things written down yet. But I have made his physical description:

At 178 cm (5'8) and 83 kilos (182 lbs) Dichali probably isn't the tallest man you've met, he's also not the shortest. And while he's got some good muscle on him from working as a Park Ranger, and being a werewolf, he also has some softer sides. All the better to cuddle with. He has long straight brown hair that falls to his mid-back and deep brown eyes and a long nose that ends prominently. His eyebrows are thin and he has a high forehead. His skin is a light Tawny color, there's a hint of an orange brown with a cool undertone.

His skin is also relatively clear and youthful looking because of his lycanthropy.

He tends to wear pants and jackets made by native designers and always incorporates native fashion into his outfits. He has jackets of mostly gray, blue, brown, and black colors made of denim, cotton, wool, or brass that are lined with more traditional cloths and patterns like the designer brand Ginew. Usually he pairs them with dark jeans, either black, gray, or dark blue. He pairs it with white, blue, red, black, or printed band t-shirts (Metallica, Green Day, Marianas Trench). 

For shoes he has brown hiking boots that are part of the Ranger uniform, more western styled boots like black cowboy boots, and a pair of sneakers.He also wears a copper bracelet with lighting bolts etched into it.

-

Now this whole story got started because I had the question what if we had a DILF romance going on while/because the following happened?

What if a YouTube video that accidentally got uploaded shows the existence of a werewolf in Yellowstone park? Threatening to expose the entire supernatural world.

The werewolves right now are a mix, so half shift is like the classical half shift of a wolf head on a man’s body, but the full shift is more like a larger wolf. Almost the size of a black bear. Though I might change those ideas as the story progresses.

But that is how the Cryptid of Yellowstone is brought into the world. And that brings problems. Big problems.

Wendigos, vampires, djins, I plan to create a world where a lot of supernatural creates exist. From all sorts of cultures. I’m also toying with the idea of Kelpies and Griffins. That kind of stuff.

The supernatural world is hidden from ours, hidden in plain sight if you will. Most encounters are written off as really strange, sometimes a picture pops up, but with the coming of the internet, things have gotten more complicated. Also with deforestation and competition with regular wildlife has made some bigger supernatural creatures either extinct or thought to be extinct. They’re not sure what still lives in Australia, though.

Nate or his son don’t know about the supernatural world. Neither does Yena. Or much of the world. Dichali, his children (to some extent), Faron, and Faron’s family do know about this world.

-

Alright, as for your other post XD

Right now it’s no longer storming but due to the freezing temperatures the snow’s not going away and all public transport and delivery services are still not driving/delivering/running. So that’s neat. Not. 

I swear we get some snow and the country is just down. Upside, ain’t nobody going outside and this helps with lockdown.

I hope your snowstorm won’t be too bad and everything thaws down soon. Snow’s fun for a day but after that...

Make sure you stay warm alright? And bundle up.

Yes dad... alright XD

Honestly, I’m glad to hear you liked my advice too. I’m getting quite a bit of positive feedback on it and that just makes me really happy ^^. I’m definitely writing more writing advice from everything I’ve learned so far.

There’s honestly so many contradicting ones out there, it’s a matter of picking and choosing which ones work best for you and applying those. And that’s the real trick of advice.

Fun fact, a lot of famous writers are also pantsers. Steven King, Neil Gaiman, George RR Martin are examples of famous pantsers or gardeners as they are also called. 

John Grisham, JK Rowling, RL Stein fall into the plotter or architect category. 

Writers like Hank Green seem to fall in the in-between category of plantser (somewhere between a plotter and a pantser. Or the Intuitive plotter.)

Okay but the DinLuke things is really really kinda hot and cute and adorable and has me smiling <3

And I can’t remember what else I wanted to say since it is like 2 am and my meds are seriously kicking in now.

But I hope you’re doing alright and that the snowstorm isn’t too bad where you’re at.

I’ll be alright, my diet hasn’t been going so well the last few days and I can’t really exercise, but I did mostly get healthy groceries that will be delivered friday so there’s that. 

Fingers crossed I can pick it back up.

Okay I’m heading to bed XD 

I’ll talk to you later, B <3 

Hugs from me and Mo <3

[pickalilywrites]

Model/photographer fic with the pairing of your choice. Bone points if its a rare pair because they deserve more attention.

you’re absolutely right!!! ah, but i read it wrong and accidentally made it a makeup artist and not a photographer ;~; i made a model/photographer au for jeankasa that you can read here~

Not Meant to Be

MaruMina. Celebrity AU. 

1866 words. 

Buy me a ko-fi!

Mina has never understood the hype around celebrities and hadn’t understood the concept of being completely starstruck by someone until today. It’s not that she doesn’t keep up with pop culture - actors, actresses, singers, and models - or has a complete disinterest in it because she does. After all, it wouldn’t make sense for her to remain in the dark about celebrity culture when she works at Rosé, one of the most well-known beauty and fashion magazines that oftentimes feature these celebrated idols. Of course, she’s never gotten a big head from working here. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. She’s had more than her fair share of rude encounters with pompous pop stars and arrogant actors - she recalls just last week an action star had her run out to buy him an iced coffee despite the fact that she needed to do his make-up for the shoot - and had even more instances where the stars had ignored her completely. These experiences haven’t made her bitter, but they have made her more or less indifferent to these many stars, and she doesn’t expect anything much from them anymore. If she’s learned anything from working with stars, it’s that they’re human just like anyone else. Except, perhaps, Marco Bodt.

Admittedly, Mina hadn’t been aware of his name until about a year ago despite the fact that the young actor had made his film debut when he was a teenager. He had been cast in many period pieces, but he had only gained recognition recently after playing a young detective in an action-thriller that had recently won him an Academy Award. It seems that now that he has gained fame, people - fangirls, especially - have realized just how handsome and talented he is, flocking to every movie he’s starred in, including a romantic comedy released just last week where Marco Bodt plays a frazzled salaryman with no time for love. Now, magazines like Rosé are clambering to have the actor’s freckled face grace their glossy covers.

The entire building had been abuzz when they had heard that Marco Bodt would be visiting for a photoshoot. Many discussed the possibility of getting an autograph or photo of the actor while others just whispered dreamily about this lucky chance to see the actor up close. Mina, however, did not participate in these idle conversations, choosing instead to focus on mentally preparing herself for this upcoming photoshoot. At best, Marco Bodt will cooperate with the artists and photographers involved and everyone will go home happy. At worst, he’ll be an absolute demon and the photoshoot will take several days instead of a few hours. She’s had too many bad experiences to expect the former, though. Admittedly, Mina probably shouldn’t be so harsh when it comes to judging celebrities. After all, it must be difficult for them to be constantly hounded by paparazzi, and she’s sure that the constant exposure is sure to wear them down eventually. Although, Mina thinks amusedly, one would think they’d have fewer problems with all the money they have. It is, however, this exact cynicism towards celebrities that causes her to become surprised upon meeting Marco Bodt, and she thinks that she has inadequately prepared for their meeting after she’s introduced to him.

“Mina Carolina?” The make-up artist looks up at the sound of her name and is surprised to see Marco Bodt in the flesh, standing in front of her with a box of donuts in his arms. On his face he wears a beaming smile that is just as bright as the one he had worn on the red carpet just a week before. She had been certain that his smile, like most smiles that celebrities wore at those events, was just for show, but up close she sees nothing disingenuous about it. When she meets his gaze, his smile seems to grow even larger, and he lifts the box of donuts out towards her. “I heard that we were working together today, so I bought you and your team some donuts. I figured it’s the least I could do since you guys are going to be working so hard today. Compared to everyone else, I’m pretty much doing nothing.”

It’s probably the first time anyone has ever given her a thank-you gift. The most she ever gets is a card, although those cards are usually addressed to the chief photographer. Usually, she and the other employees that worked behind the curtain were completely forgotten as soon as the photoshoot was over. The kind gesture surprises her so much that she doesn’t realize she’s been staring for a while until she notices the actor shifting awkwardly in front of her. Mina quickly clears her throat and gestures for Marco to sit down in her studio.

“Thank you, Mr. Bodt,” she says, taking the box of donuts from his hands and passing it to one of her coworkers to set on a nearby table. She gestures over to an intern, who hurriedly fetches Mina the make-up palette and brushes that were decided upon for today’s shoot. “You’re far too kind. It’s already enough that you’ve shown up.”

“It’s alright for you to call me Marco,” he tells her with a laugh. He’s silent for a moment, watching as Mina pours a dab of moisturizer on her fingers to apply on the actor’s face. “It really is you who is doing all the hard work. I’m just here to sit and take pictures … although it’s my first time modeling for a magazine as prestigious as Rosé. To tell you the truth, I’m kind of nervous. I would hate to mess this up for you guys.”

She’s sure that he’s only saying this to be nice, perhaps putting up the nice-boy facade that the public finds so appealing, but she’s surprised when she glances down at his hands and finds him gripping so tightly on the arms of his chair that his knuckles have turned white. Mina begins to think that perhaps she shouldn’t have assumed such cruel things about him. Even if he’s a celebrity, he’s a stranger to her and it’s not as if she knows his life.

After she finishes applying the foundation, Mina wipes her hands on a towel and reaches down to squeeze Marco’s hand lightly. “I’m sure you’ll do fine,” she tells him with an encouraging smile. Her words must have calmed him down because he returns the smile, but it’s bashful this time. “After all, you’re in good hands.”

“I’ll leave it to you then,” he replies.

Generally, Mina doesn’t like it when her clients try to converse with her while she’s applying their make-up. While she understands their need to fill up the silence, their moving jaws and tilting heads make it difficult for her to apply make-up properly. At times like these, she usually requests her clients to remain as silent as possible, but she finds that she doesn’t seem to mind it when Marco talks. As she converses with him, she finds that he’s far more relatable and easy to talk to compared to other celebrities. Rather than talking about himself and red carpet experiences that others can never connect to, Marco asks more about Mina and her experiences in the make-up industry, sometimes even speaking with the other artists and interns in the studio so that nobody feels left out. There are a few times where she requests that he pauses for a moment so that she can apply foundation properly, and he clamps his mouth shut immediately with an apologetic look on his face, but Mina always finds herself asking him another question so that she can get him talking again.

She finds him absolutely stunning when he speaks, and she’s grateful to be able to observe him up close as he talks. His strong jawline is even more prominent when she’s within inches of him, and she makes sure to highlight it as she goes about applying make-up. She does the same with his freckles, taking care not to cover up the golden spots sprinkled across his cheeks and nose. Above all, though, Mina finds that the natural upward curl of his lips - this hint of a smile - to be his best feature, and she’s certain that it will come in handy during the photoshoot.

Mina had never really seen the hype around Marco until meeting him. After seeing his movie, she did have to admit that the man was talented, but she still didn’t know why he had so many admirers or why they had put him on such a high pedestal. Now that she’s spoken with him, she understands their feelings completely. He’s more than just a Hollywood star with a nice-guy-next-door persona - he’s the real deal. Despite his fame, he remains humble and genuine, and Mina must confess that she’s swooning a bit after meeting the star. She didn’t really have any plans to check out the romantic comedy he starred in, but perhaps she should make time for it sometime this week.

The minutes fly by and Mina finds herself spending more time on Marco than she had originally intended. Instead of working as quickly as possible, she finds herself applying blush and concealer as slowly as possible, hoping to drag out the time they can spend together. She wonders if he notices at all. Before she knows it, it’s already thirty minutes have passed since the time Marco was scheduled to arrive at the photographer’s studio downstairs, and an under-paid intern has burst through the door, breathless and with her hair in total disarray, begging for Mina to finish up so that the photographer can get some shots in.

“Is it that time already?” Mina asks, surprised. A flush of pink creeps across her cheeks, and she wonders what on earth has gotten into her to cause her to waste all her precious time. “I’m terribly sorry. I’m just about done. Please wait a moment and we’ll be down there in a minute.” She apologizes again, this time to Marco, but the actor only shakes his head.

“You’re doing a great job. You’re only taking a long time because you want it to be perfect,” he tells her, but he’s only half-right.

In the end, they both go down to the photographer’s studio - Marco to model and Mina to make any necessary touch-ups in between shots. It’s the most interested in a photoshoot she’s been. She admires how Marco’s skin glows brilliantly underneath the bright studio lights and how poised he is despite the nervousness he had confessed to feeling earlier. He does brilliantly in every pose - brooding, thoughtful, angst-ridden, pensive - but she thinks he’s the most breathtaking when he turns to the camera, a smile on her face. Just seeing his lips curl upwards in that familiar expression is enough to make her hold her breath. She knows that this is a photoshoot, that he is meant to stare straight at the camera so that those who purchase the magazine can pretend that he’s looking straight at them, but she wishes just for a moment that he would look at her and only her. But she knows he never will.

[im-whatchamccallit]

Wicked pt.3// Xu Minghao (Seventeen)

Part 1|Part 2|Masterlist|Request Guidelines

Pairing: Xu Minghao x Reader

Genre: Demon!AU, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Mentions of death/suicide (no details of it, though), suggestive content, sexual harassment (slightly detailed but not really), a bit nonsensical towards the end

Words: 7.3k (This shit is fucking loooonnnnngggg)

(A/N: Hey, kids, I’m back. This is the third (and possibly last) part of the Wicked series. I’m sorry it took so long to upload and sorry if the grammar is off but, c’mon, this thing is 15 freaking pages, it’s was 4am, and my eyes were starting to hurt ;-; Anyways, request are open and I love you)

You sighed bitterly as you typed away on your desktop, nodding unconsciously to your coworker as she said a quick goodbye, leaving you more alone than you already were in your small cubicle as you tried to fix the mistakes of your superiors. None of this seemed to be your fault but, being the head of the finance department, it was your job to fix it.

You ignored the faint footsteps approaching you but suddenly froze at the feeling of two hands on your shoulders, massaging them gently while sneakily drifting lower, stopping just beneath your collarbone. You took a shallow breath before typing once more, trying not to give him the satisfaction of getting a reaction from you today, especially since you had your plan set up to get him out of this company.

“You know, it’s getting late. Why don’t we take a break and eat out?” The last two words were an obvious sexual innuendo, something that fitted the sleazy male’s profile perfectly, yet, the way his breath collided with your ear made you involuntarily push your chair into him as you stood, disgust written on your face as you tried to remain focused on the plethora of numbers on your screen.

You loved your job, mostly because you were great at it and it seemed to be as easy as breathing for you, but your boss, Andrew Kim, made it unbearable.

He was a transplant from New York, a big shot from the big city that your company couldn’t wait to have on board. He’s been cocky since day one, annoying and harassing everyone in sight but his work was phenomenal, his charisma and methods of persuasion astonishing. So, when he became your company’s COO in as little as a year, it was a devastating, but expected, surprise.

Ever since that day, he’s been more forward with his actions, groping you and your colleagues with no shame, whether you were alone or in a full room, no man or woman was left untouched by the hands that could make or break your careers.

“If you haven’t noticed, sir, the reports you took from my desk before they were complete have suddenly made their way back because someone blindly approved them despite the fact I never submitted these forms.” Each word came out more venomous than you intended but it’s only because you had so much more to say.

How this entire form was filled with errors of both commission and principle, how your entire department could have been fired if this wasn’t caught in time, how he needs to move his hands away from your hips before you grab the closest pen to stab them.

‘Just breathe, (Y/n), you’re almost finished. You just need to email this out and you’ll be fine.’ You thought to yourself, your hand gripping the mouse as the other typed out the last two digits.

Your eyes watched as it all autosaved, a smile on your lips at the small victory but it fell as quickly as it came, the sudden realization that his hands had made their way to your butt and was squeezing ever so gently causing you to angrily face him. You couldn’t hit him, you were still technically on the clock, but you couldn’t just stand there and take his shit.

“I’m not sure you realize that sexual harassment laws in Korea are synonymous to that of America.”

Your words had no effect on him as he stepped closer, watching as you moved back to avoid him only to be trapped between your desk and his chest. Your face tried to remain stern and bitter but the way your eyes shakily stared into his, the way your grip on your desk tightened in anticipation and fear as your legs crossed in a sad attempt to keep him away, it showed he was more than just your boss, he was a predator. And you were the small lamb he was going to devour.

“You see, (Y/n), the thing about those laws are that you need hard evidence to make them work. And, seeing as I know you better than you think I do, I know you have more than enough.”

You swallowed hard, your body relaxing in defeat at his words as you stared at him for any sign of a bluff but he was serious, a small smirk growing on his lips as he reached past you, your eyes trained on one another as he gripped the small webcam tapped behind your monitor, angled just enough to capture you and anyone who entered the confined space and enough to his the bright blue light that indicated that it was on and recording. Except it was off, the previous events not documented for the case you wanted to bring against him for you and your colleagues.

“Maybe if you hadn’t shared your plans with people who’d give you up in a heartbeat, it would’ve worked. And maybe, if you didn’t make every password the same, or think your computer was safer from me than any other in this office, you’d still have all those little files with all the videos and messages you were collecting.”

You could feel your eyes burning with unshed tears, a lump in your throat as you pursed your lips to hold back a sob. You took a deep breath, trying to hold yourself together, not wanting to look worse than you already did in this moment before regaining your voice.

“So what now? You’re gonna fire me?” Andrew looked away as if he were thinking, knowing he could make you leave for good to save his reputation or use your indisposed submission to his advantage. The latter was risky but what did he have to lose? His boss loved him too much to fire him.

“I have a meeting first thing in the morning and I may or may not bring up your behavior and how you’re a liability to this company. You’ll be in my office an hour before then and I’ll give you a job to do. Do well and we’ll see if I change my mind.” The tone of his voice made it obvious this was completely sexual, your mouth threatening to spill the swears you’ve been holding back for so long as well as the sobs building in your throat and chest, your fist clenching and unclenching as you tried to decide if punching him would be the smartest choice. But you loved your job. You needed this job. So what else could you do?

“Okay.” You mumbled softly, avoiding his eyes.

“Okay, what?” God, he was a dick.

“Okay, sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He finally stepped away from you, giving you the space you desperately needed as you readjusted yourself, standing straight and no longer cowering in fear.

“Well, if you’re done here, you can go. And, remember, 8am sharp, my office.” He spoke in such a mocking tone as he began to walk away, leaving you in a state of mixed emotions, mostly anger and devastation.

You didn’t bother to shut down your desktop as you quickly grabbed your messenger bag and jacket from the hooks on your wall and rushing to the elevators, impatiently waiting as your teeth sank into your bottom lip, your eyes burning as your vision blurred, your mind racing with thoughts of what just happened and what’s to come, everything in your body screaming at you to breakdown but to also stay strong but the main thing you heard was your heartbeat, ringing in your ears as your anxiety kicked in, drowning you in utter panic as you tried to find some way to calm down but nothing was working.

You were so focused on staying calm and sane that you didn’t realize time had passed and you had been moving mindlessly, already sat in your car and parked in your driveway almost as if someone transported you there.

Minghao waved his hand over the laptop screen in his lap as he heard heavy footsteps and various keys clanging together just outside your door. He had been watching you all day, curious as to what your day to day life consisted of, only to be appalled and shocked by the end of it. Sure, he’s cut back on making your life miserable, trying hard to win you over to favor him, but now he knows there’s only one person who could hurt you more than he ever could, your boss. A strange bubble of bitterness mixed with an overprotective rage filled him at the idea of someone he thought was so strong and unassailable being broken down to nothing more than a sexual favor by someone so immoral.

The soft squeaking of the door’s hinges alerted him, causing him to place the laptop on your coffee table as you stepped inside, shutting but not bothering to lock the door. Your weary eyes met his face, causing you to roll them at the thought of having to deal with another bastard you couldn’t stand for the night. Instead, you ignored his stares as you kicked off your shoes and tossed your belongings on the ground, just wanting to crawl into bed and forgot about the pain you called life.

“(Y/n).” Minghao called to you softly, your body pushing past his as you maneuvered down the halls to your room.

“(Y/n).” His voice increased as he trailed behind you, your face forming a scowl as you felt his warmth right behind you, a hand suddenly gripping your forearm to stop you from moving.

“(Y/n)-”

“Can you leave me the fuck alone?! Why are you even here? Can’t you see I just want to be alone right now?!”

Minghao has seen you in many ways. Sarcastic and bitter, happy and drunk, even embarrassed and flustered from the first time he accidentally walked in on you using the bathroom. But this you, the one with glossed over eyes, a swollen and shivering bottom lip, and an angry yet timid and pleading voice, this wasn’t you. Not one that he wanted to see, that is.

You felt his grip loosen slightly, hoping he would finally listen and let you rest but, instead, he stepped forward, wrapping both arms around you tightly as you weakly tried to fight him off, his arms folded around your neck to drown out your protest as he slowly shut his eyes, a small breath slipping from his nose.

“I’m not going to leave you alone, (Y/n).”

Of all the blows he prepared for you to throw at him, his body unnoticeably flinching in fear of a punch or kick, he didn’t expect for your arms to wrap tightly around his torso, a loud sob slipping through your lips as you finally broke down. Besides sleep, this was what you needed most for the night: comfort. Someone to tell you it’ll all be fine even if it wasn’t, even if they didn’t know your situation. He may be a demon but, recently, Minghao’s been showing a more human side of himself, one that you were surprisingly beginning to warm up to.

Andrew watched the hands on his clock tick by, his head tilting in disappointment as they finally reached 9am. You hadn’t shown up like he asked, which was a bit skeptical since you were someone who’d kill and die for your job, but your absence made his decision about your position there easier to choose.

He sighed as he stood, grabbing his files from his desk as he headed out of his office door. Everyone was working as normal, his secretary checking through his list of appointments to slowly cross off your name.

“Did (Y/n) (L/n) cancel our appointment today?” Andrew asked, the young woman peeking up at him through her thin framed glasses.

“(Y/n) (L/n) hasn’t been here all morning. It’s strange.” She said the last part more to herself, curious as to how someone so enthusiastic about their job could suddenly not show up.

Andrew let out a small hum, a bitter smile on his lips as he turned and headed down the halls of the office to the conference room, five blurry bodies visible through the opaque glass. He eagerly stepped in, watching all but one stand to greet him. It was a young man who looked as if he was too young to be in this meeting, it was for COOs and above after all.

Andrew eyed him suspiciously, approaching him with a stretched hand.

“I’m Andrew Kim, COO. And you are?” Minghao’s eyes darted down to the waiting hand before trailing back to the male’s face, his gaze sharp and piercing as neither refused to look away.

“Xu Minghao, President of this company. Please have a seat.”

The men held their gazes, one filled with undeniable hatred, the other with disbelief and amusement. Nonetheless, Andrew slowly took his seat, placing his files on the dark cherry table before folding his hands on top of them, a smile gracing his face to deride Minghao’s stoic expression.

“So, “Mr. President”, what’s the first order of today’s meeting?”

“Your employees. Any complaints? Any praise?” He watched as Andrew jumped at the chance to open the files, your name slipping off his tongue easily followed by half-assed excuses to paint you as a bad employee.

Minghao’s mind wandered to you. How you opened up to him just a few hours ago, no words exchanged as he held you until you fell asleep, even taking extra precautions to make sure you didn’t wake up in time for his plan. Behind your assholish façade, you were sweet and defenseless, something Minghao felt was worthy of protecting.

“-and, the final straw, is that we had a meeting today for which (Y/n) did not show. I believe this calls for some kind of punishment.” Andrew said matter-of-factly, eying the other superiors who only stared at him blankly, unbeknownst to him that they were brainwashed, unable to respond to any of the words he said.

Minghao sighed, catching the male’s attention as he stood from his seat to pace behind it.

“My (Y/n) is probably one of the hardest working people I’ve ever met.”

“’Your (Y/n)?’” Andrew scoffed, eying the lanky demon that took small yet threatening steps towards him.

“You see, I’ve been watching you, Andrew. How you harass the workers here, threaten them, force them to do things to and for you in exchange of keeping their jobs. And you were planning to do the same to (Y/n) today, correct?” Minghao stood next to him, towering above him as he waited for a response.

Andrew abruptly, trying to not let the man towering him intimidate him with that knowledge, his eyes frantically finding the other CEOs and chairmen.

“Are you going to believe this man? He has never stepped a foot in this office until today!”

“They can’t hear you, Andrew. Even if they could, what could any of them do about it?” Minghao’s voice dropped an octave as he stepped back, glaring at Andrew as he let his anger take control instead of his logic.

Andrew gasped as he suddenly felt his airways clog, his eyes widening as he tried to grasp at the many stone-faced men for help, feeling lightheaded the further he struggled, Minghao’s eyes watching as he collapsed to his knees, crawling and gasping for air he couldn’t receive.

“I guess I’m just like you, Andrew. Abusing my power. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on you.”

Andrew let out a large cough, panting and wheezing as he felt the oxygen return to his lungs, his bright red face and tear-brimmed eyes staring back at Minghao who was suddenly in front of him, his eyes wide as he wondered who this man was and what he was capable of.

“I’d have so much pleasure in firing you-“

“F-fire me! I’ll leave! Please, j-just, don’t h-hurt me.” Andrew stuttered out, bowing to his demonic junior.

“I’d love to but I’d have more pleasure if you died. We’re both evil guys, Andrew, you should’ve saw that coming.”

“Don’t kill me! I’m begging you!” He stared up at Minghao, tears slipping from his eyes as he pleaded, his hands clasped tightly together in hopes he would change his mind.

“I’m not killing you. You’re doing it for me.”

As if a switch was flicked, his tears stopped falling, his body had risen from the ground as he stared at Minghao expectantly.

“Go to the roof, jump off. Consider this your termination, Mr. Kim.”

Minghao watched the mindless man tread out of the room and to the elevator, finding his seat and staring at the others who would have no memory of the day’s events.

“You are all dismissed.”

“Yes, sir.” They spoke in unison, standing one by one and exiting the office like zombies, the heavy door slowly coming to a close as he was left alone, listening closely to the complete silence before a loud crash was heard, quickly followed by loud screams and chatter from outside, a smirk tugging at his lips.

He slowly stood, readjusting the black suit he wore before checking the clock on the wall.

9:36

You should be up by now.

He shut his eyes and instantly found himself in your bedroom. You were nowhere in sight, the duvet and sheets left a mess but your phone laid right by your pillow, dinging every few seconds with messages from colleagues informing you that Andrew was dead.

Minghao didn’t have time to check when he suddenly heard soft sobs and sniffling, making his way down the hall to your living room to find you sitting on your sofa, a hand covering your mouth as you listened to the news reporter explain the details of his death, Minghao slowly falling at your side, surprised at how fast they covered the story.

“Andrew Kim, the 37-year-old COO of Hahm-Myung Corporations, was found dead just a few minutes ago by bystanders here outside of the company. Police on the scene believe this was a suicide and suspect no foul play. This story will be continued tonight at 6.”

Minghao quickly turned off the television, pulling you into a hug despite his indifferent feelings. Where you actually involved with Andrew in some way? Is that why you were so emotional to his death?

“This is all my fault. If I had just went to work, none of this would be happening. I can’t be-“

“This isn’t your fault, (Y/n). He was a terrible person who did terrible things to you and so many other people, maybe he just couldn’t live with the thought of that. But don’t say that this is your fault.”

Your eyes stared blankly at the black screen, your head slowly raising to stare at Minghao as you involuntarily sniffled once more.

“How’d you know that?” The question threw him off guard until he realized what he said, his mouth slightly agape as he tried to think of an excuse, letting you slip from his arms as you waited for his response.

You were opening up to him, finally giving him your trust and lying when you probably already knew the truth would just ruin that so coming clean could only set him back by so much.

“I’ve been watching you while you were at work. I just wanted to see what you dealt with every day and, honestly, if I didn’t, he’d still be alive and he’d still be making your life a living hell. I know I’m a pain in your ass but I’d rather be the only one, not with him.”

The confession and statement alone was mind-boggling, your eyes squinting at him as you tried to make sense of what his real motive was but all you could focus on was him saving you, being there for you when you didn’t ask him to, when he didn’t need to be. You’ve always wanted Minghao dead, or gone at least, but haven’t really took the time to notice how nice he’s been lately, from subtle things like holding a door for you to something as large as vengeful murder.

You slowly crept forward, tilting your head just slightly as you slide closer to him, your lips slowly pressing to his as your hand found his cheek. He was confused but excited, his wide eyes slowly shutting as he leaned into you, allowing his lips to react and move steadily against yours, his arm wrapping around your waist to bring you closer.

To say you haven’t seen yourself in this position before was a lie, to say you both weren’t a little scared was an ever bigger lie. But for some reason, it felt right, addictive. It made you wonder why you waited so long to do this, memories of bickering and fighting disappearing as you both slowly began to part, your eyes slowly fluttering open to stare at his slightly doe-like eyes, a shy smile playing on his lips as yours remained parted.

“Thank you.” You said softly.

That was over six month ago.

Since then, you two were completely different people. The walls and boundaries you built for one another quickly falling as you coexisted, almost as if nothing had happened in the past. You were inseparable, living as a normal couple and facing all and any obstacles that come with relationships, the major one was meeting each other’s families.

Your parents remembered Minghao from your friend’s weeding months prior, excited to see you both still together after so long, smiling and laughing with the demon boy although you couldn’t tell if it was his natural charm that pleased them or his mind manipulation. Overall, the experience was positive, everyone loving his presence and charisma, pulling you aside and begging you to not ruin it.

Today was your turn.

Minghao watched as you pulled the black blazer on over your navy blue button up shit, your eyes trying to determine if you should stick with your black skinny jeans or go with something lighter, shrugging it off as you dug through your closet for a pair of black sneakers.

“(Y/n), are you listening to me? This is really important.”

“I am, Hao. You wrote all the rules down for me, I memorized them, and I know not to leave your side because they may kill me but you trust them enough not to. I have to stay clear of Mingyu, Hansol, Chan, and Jihoon or be near them with someone else. Don’t do anything Wonwoo or Jeonghan ask me to, and don’t laugh at any of Seokmin’s jokes.” You said plainly as you gripped the doorframe of your closet to pull on your Vans, letting out a small sigh as you stood with a smile.

“Okay, let’s go.” Minghao stood and grabbed your hands, a smile unconsciously forming on his face as he watched you cutely shut your eyes, finally understanding how to deal with his convenient way of transportation.

Your body felt as if he were tingling, some spots burning slightly as he transported to his home, every gathered in their human forms as to not frighten you. Seungcheol was the first to stand as he approached you, a polite smile on his face as you slowly opened your eyes, amazed at the large and homey space.

“You must be (Y/n). My name is Seungcheol.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” You spoke timidly but loud enough to not seem wary.

Seungcheol motioned to the other 8 men sitting around as you removed one hand from Minghao’s, the other he refused to let go.

“These are our brothers: Jeonghan, Hansol, Junhui, Jihoon, Seokmin, Joshua, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan. The others are… somewhere.” All gave a mix of eager and limp waves, some muttering a slight ‘hello’ and you bowed politely.

“Wait, I’m here too!” You heard a voice call from the Kitchen, gaining your full attention as a tall black figure emerged.

“And this is Mingyu- What the hell did I tell you?! ‘Human form’, Mingyu!” Seungcheol screamed at the poor boy.

His demon form was simple but terrifying to most. He was gigantic, his head touching the ceiling which caused him to crane his neck to fit into the room. His body and face were completely black, leaving him to appear as a shadow with visibly grotesque claws and piercing red eyes. He shyly complied, returning to his “normal” appearance for you as he apologized profusely, your hand waving him off as an awkward laugh slipped through your lips.

“No, it’s fine. This is your home. If you’re comfortable in the form, please, stay in it. Don’t let me effect the way you live.”

Your words were sincere and sweet, Mingyu was almost tempted to take your advice. But, from the glare Minghao and Seungcheol gave him, he choose otherwise.

“That’s okay. I’m going to finish with dinner.” He quickly retreated to the kitchen, leaving everyone to awkwardly stare at one another as the situation was fairly new to all of them.

You never thought you’d be in a demon’s home nor did any of the demons there, present or not, think they’d ever have a human in their home. They all had the natural urge to toy with you, see how much they could drive you insane before you snapped but, for Minghao, they decided to behave, watching you carefully to see what made you so special from the millions of other humans they or Minghao have encountered in their centuries long lifetime. Well, not all of them. After all, Jeonghan, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan were the demons of tricks and mischief, it was in their nature to act out.

“(Y/n), can you check the temperature outside? I was thinking of going to the store before dinner.” Wonwoo said in an innocent tone, his eyes staring into yours as you hesitantly stopped your head from nodding.

“This is hell. Shouldn’t it be hot?”

“No. Our weather works the same as Earth. See for yourself.” Jeonghan said finding your eyes as a small smirk grew on his lips.

A small voice in the back of your mind was whispering ‘door’ repeatedly, something in your body making your limbs twitch to turn in its direction. But you remembered what Minghao said: don’t do anything those two said. You were obviously hesitant and mind manipulation was their only way to make you act.

You giggled as regained your focus.

“I can’t be manipulated, you know? Once you know someone’s controlling you, you can stop it. So, what’s outside that door?” You asked, an amused smile on Wonwoo’s face as Jeonghan’s smirk remained.

“Hell hounds. They’re the only creatures in hell that can smell human flesh and want to eat it.”

You nodded thoughtfully, feeling Minghao’s hand tighten around yours slightly as he glared at the two. It was their nature, what did he expect?

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” You asked shyly, Seungcheol looking to you with an apologetic smile.

“Of course. Upstairs and down the hall.” You bowed slightly and successfully pried your hand from Minghao’s awkwardly making your way up the stairs and away from the suffocating environment.

“I should fucking kill you.” You heard just as you reached the top of the stairs, chuckling at the failed attempt at whispering before heading down the hall.

You mentally groaned as you noticed there were 9 doors, two being the bathroom and the others possibly bedrooms or closets. You stared at each one skeptically, Seungcheol’s vague description not much help as you found yourself at the third to last door on the left. Your hand hesitantly gripped the doorknob, twisting pushing the door open and stepping inside, a soft gasp leaving your lips. It was a bedroom.

The room had a strange red lighting to it, making it both terrifying yet stimulating. The curtains were black as well as the bed sheets, very few items bringing different colors to the room. If it was less ominous, it could pass for a normal room. A television, a bed, a desk covered in materials for writing as well as a laptop, a shelf of books and other items.

“Like what you see?” You gasped again, turning to see Minghao behind you as he slowly moved past you, grasping your hand to pull you further inside with him.

“So this is your room? Doesn’t really fit how cute you really act.” You joked.

His arm wrapped around your waist to pull you closer, his lips tugging into a small smirk as he leaned forward, burying his face into your neck to allow his nose to graze the crook of your neck, slowly dragging upwards until his lips were at your earlobe. You yelped and pushed him away at the feeling of his tongue sliding inside of the canal, staring at him in disbelief as he just gave you a smug look.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“You know I have sensitive ears and I especially hate tha- Wait, what’d you just call me?” You stood up straight, your hands curling into fist as he moved closer to you.

“I said ‘babe’. You’re acting weird, (Y/n).” He brought his hand towards you and you only stepped back, scowling at the now obvious stranger.

From the moment you and Minghao began dating, there was only one nickname he used with you and it was ‘bubba’. You two used to laugh and joke about some angry asshole that tried to start a fight with him for parking in the last spot at the movie theater, calling Minghao ‘bub’ every few seconds. It was hilarious. So much so you used it in your conversations to remember the moment, Minghao eventually recreating the word as he grown accustomed to using it for you.

“Who the hell are you?” You asked threateningly, not noticing the small snake wrapping around your leg and slithering up your back, its small head resting on your shoulder.

“I can be anyone you want me to be.” He spoke, his face changing from Minghao to Joshua, from Joshua to Andrew, from Andrew to some man you didn’t recognize, from that man to Park Bo Gum.

His face continued to shift to various people, the smirk still evident on his face as you heard a soft voice in your ear. It was your voice.

“He’s toying with you, (Y/n). No one’s here to protect you. You have to protect yourself. He thinks you’re an idiot, he thinks he so smart and funny. A punch to his jaw would be hilarious wouldn’t it? You know you want to. It’s the only way to make him stop.”

You let out a yell as you mindlessly let your fist collide with his face, knocking him off balance and causing him to stumble away from you, his head whipping up to glare at you menacingly as he held his face. It was Soonyoung.

“So much for not being able to be manipulated.” You heard an unfamiliar voice from behind you, turning to see someone you’ve yet to meet. He probably didn’t live here.

You let out a loud scream before a series of footsteps rushed to the doorway, Minghao, Seungcheol, and Junhui staring at the scene before them. It was almost like a renaissance painting.

“Hi, (Y/n). You found the bathroom?” Junhui asked, earning a glare from you, your anxiousness turning to utter anger as each demon tested you more and more.

“Soonyoung, Chan. Dinner. Now.” Seungcheol said, watching as they both moved past you without another word or glance, all of them heading back to the dining room and leaving you and Minghao alone. What was he, their leader?

A nervous frown was on your lips as you moved closer to him, your hands fumbling together as you tried to form words.

“I know nothing happened and I know you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s okay.” He said, already forgiving your silent but unnecessary apology.

He grabbed your hand and led you downstairs where everyone sat at the table, watching you and Minghao as you found your seats.

Mingyu carefully handed out the various bowls and plates on the tray to everyone, your eyes examining the brothy meal as he placed it in front of you. Meat covered with scallions and paired with rice and kimchi. You hesitantly grabbed your chopsticks before digging in, everyone staring as you picked at the small chunk of food.

“What is this?”

“Korean goat stew. I guess humans aren’t used to eating goat meat?” Jeonghan asked, his eyebrow raising slightly as if to challenge you.

You sighed in relief and quickly at the meat, letting out a small hum at the tenderness of the goat and the warmth of the broth, your eyes meeting his as you gave a small smile.

“Tons of humans eat goat, including me. And, no offense, but eating goat is the most normal thing that’s happened since I got here.”

That comment alone made them realize you were human. Of course they were treating you as a demon would any other human. But if they treated you as a demon would a demon? Most of them never fought or played tricks on one another, only in joking matters. Minghao did ask that they behave and treat you normally but for a human to be treated like any other creature in hell? It didn’t make sense. The way Minghao lovingly stared at you, playfully wiping some broth from your nose as you laughed together made them realize it was possible somehow, so why not actually try instead of half-assing their attempts.

After the twelve men passed the idea around telepathically, making sure to keep Minghao unaware, they settled on who’d speak first.

“(Y/n),” Jihoon spoke for the first time all day, your eyes widening as you faced him.

“We never asked about you. I think it’d be nice to know a little more about you.”

You cleared your throat as you readjusted yourself in your seat, an awkward smile and laugh leaving you as you looked at the group, all eyes fixed on you.

“Uhm, sure. I’m not really sure where to begin. Is there anything you’d wanna know specifically?” Almost in an instance, various response came, all completely different from the next.

For the first time that night, you felt at home. No one was a threat to you and they smiled and laughed with you as you answered and told stories, even the ridiculous ones about humanity for Joshua who would never get to experience it himself. You even got to know the others better, realizing that entities of hell were just the same as humans.

Jeonghan was nurturing to his roommates while Seungcheol was the strict but sometimes joking one. Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and Seokmin were hilarious together and apart, although one of Seokmin’s jokes nearly killed you. Vernon, Mingyu, Junhui, and Wonwoo were quiet and strange, off in their own world but coming back just long enough to grace the conversation with something weird but relevant. Joshua and Jihoon were actually sweethearts despite their positions in life and quite talented from what you were told of them. And Chan was observant and insightful, having almost all of their personalities in his off but somehow remaining his own person.

Everything seemed good and well as you laughed together before Joshua’s words pierced into your heart and caused everyone to freeze in fear.

“It’s too bad the only way we got to meet you was because of your deal.”

The deal. The one you and Minghao made almost eight months ago. You both were so caught up in each other that it was a complete afterthought but, now that he’s mentioned it, it was eating away at you. You could always pretend that the deal was never made, but then every time you think of how you two came to be, think of how the only reason Minghao came into your life was because you offered your own, it’d probably torture you.

You felt his hand grasp yours beneath the table, your eyes glancing at him to see he was already staring at you with a sad but reassuring look. Everyone scattered, some clearing the table while others moved to give you both space, anything to get away from the tense situation before them.

“Come with me.” Minghao said in a hushed voice, you both standing as he guided you down the hall just beneath the staircase, seven doors present on either side of the hall, one bathroom and six bedrooms.

Minghao opened the furthest one on the right, allowing you inside first. The room was lot brighter than Soonyoung’s but just as minimalistic. The small plush Kermit the Frog by his pillow caused you to let out a small, amused noise but it wasn’t enough to take your mind off of what needed to be addressed.

Once he shut the door, he stepped closer to you, finding his arms around you as a way to comfort himself more than you. He thought about your deal every day for the past six months, looking for loopholes and ways to get out of it but he couldn’t be summoned by anyone else, or even accept them, if your deal wasn’t complete. He hadn’t even eaten another human’s soul since he met you. In all honesty, he was starving, but taking your soul? It was a quick and easy solution but you couldn’t bring himself to do it, not at this point, that it.

“Let’s forget about the deal. We don’t have to talk about it or anything, okay?” He said softly, hoping you’d just nod and that’d be that, but you couldn’t.

You looked up at him with a sad smile before moving back from him, your hands moving to his as you swayed them between your bodies.

“Minghao, have we ever lied to each other?”

“Tons of times.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the response.

“I mean, since we’ve been together. We’ve never broken a promise to one another.” You sighed and looked at your fingers, your thumb brushing over his surprisingly warm skin as your eyes began to water.

“When we made that deal, I wasn’t ready to die. I lied about not being happy for such a long time, trying to do everything to get out of it, because I was afraid. But, if we just ignore all of this, it’d the first and biggest lie of our relationship. Even if it took almost a year, I won’t break that promise to you.” You stepped forward, your eyes scanning over his face as you let your tears finally fall, your smile never disappearing even at the sight of his own sadness, a small sniffle coming from his.

“I’m not afraid anymore, Hao. It’s okay.” You gently released his hands to bring them to his face, wiping away the tears on his cheeks only for him to grasp onto them as if they could save him and you, like you were both drowning and they were a raft to keep you afloat.

“It’ll all be fine, Minghao. I promise.” The bittersweet words left your mouth with ease. It was frustrating.

Minghao was thinking way too much and speaking way too little, his eyes watching as mouthed ‘it’s okay’ to him as you took another step closer, preparing yourself for your own death for his sake. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes slowly as he continued to massage your hands, dragging them to his lips to place small kisses to them before letting go, opening his eyes to see your own shut, your lips twitching in anticipation as you tried to hold back a sob.

He placed one hand on your cheek, the other cupping your neck as he lowered his lips to yours, pressing his thumbs into your flesh as he inhaled slowly, your lips parting for a gasp as your body began to grow hot, your chest heaving at the pain as your esophagus burned, an almost transparent stream of baby blue air escaping you and flowing into his mouth. The movement was slow but painful, causing you to whimper at the sudden weakness you felt, your knees buckling beneath you but Minghao’s hands trying desperately to hold you up. He was tempted to speed the process up, to consume your soul in its entirety, but the one thing he learned from spending so long with you was how to stay humane. He reluctantly shut his lips, the remaining trail of your soul reentering your body as he placed a small peck to your lips.

You gasped, eyes bloodshot as you grasped your throat, panting loudly while Minghao’s arm held you, keeping you from collapsing on the carpeted floor. You looked around the room, finding his shocked face as he slowly sat you on the bed.

“Shit,” He breathed out as his eyes were trained on your hair, your free hand trailing to it as you tried to make sense of the situation.

“What happened?” Your voice was weak, cracking on the last syllable.

“I don’t care about the deal, I just want you here. Alive. I don’t need to make contracts with other people to get souls, I can just take them if I wanted to. But I wasn’t going to let you die, Bubba. I couldn’t.” You smiled slightly at the sound of your nickname, glad to be able to hear it again.

You shoved him playfully, your head resting on his shoulder as you grabbed his left hand.

“So, that means, you didn’t have to take my soul?”

“I was actually starving, sorry.” He giggled, his face growing slightly warm at the confession.

“But, the good news is, you’re alive. But you kinda look old now.”

“What?” You sat up, staring at him before rushing to your feet, ignoring the dizziness to rush out of his room.

You began to open and slam shut each door before finding the bathroom, the lights turning automatically on as you checked your appearance. Your face hadn’t aged at all, everything the same except your eyes that were temporarily red but you noticed your hair suffered a great fate.

White. Pure white from the roots to the ends.

You gasped as you raked your fingers through it, not sure what to think of the new transformation. Was it permanent? It sure as hell looked permanent.

“We can always dye it to cover the color.” Minghao said as he stood behind you.

Holy shit, it was permanent.

You groaned, rubbing your hands over your face before staring back at the mirror. It wasn’t that bad, it could make it work, somehow.

“It’s fine. Let’s go down before they think you killed me.” You half-joked as you gripped his hand, pulling him along and towards the stairs.

The boys froze at the sound of footsteps, all standing to prepare to comfort their now single friend.

“It’s okay, Minghao. Maybe the timing wasn’t rig- what the fuck?” Junhui watched as you stepped closer, Minghao is tow.

Everyone looked between you both for some kind of answer, anything to explain why and how you weren’t dead and why you looked like a banshee.

“He only took part of my soul. Now, I look like this.”

“I knew it wasn’t a bad time to bring this out.” Chan muttered as he resumed pouring glasses of wine, Mingyu rushing to find a glass for you.

Seokmin sighed as he grabbed the closest glass, Joshua and Wonwoo handing out the others, you and Minghao bowing to the demonic double agent as he finally reached you.

“(Y/n), we tried to scare you away. We’ve tried to trick you, and, most importantly, we tried to kill you. And, somehow, you survived.”

He held the glass up high, giving you a small nod as everyone followed his actions.

“Welcome to the family.”

[12miraenie]

Insouciant

Paring: Jungkook x Reader 

Genre: Angst 

Word Count: 2.4k 

A/N: I still can’t get over Kook’s new hair in the comeback, it looks absolutely amazing. 💕 

✾ Link to Masterlist 

Insouciant 

adj) free from worry or anxiety 

                                                    Jungkook didn’t know when exactly everything started falling apart. He was deprived of your smiles, your kisses and your touch for the past two months, and he thinks he’s going crazy. The pit of emptiness kept piling up when your traces and presences seemed farther and farther back in history. Jungkook couldn’t even remember when the last time he went home to the smell of your cooking, or the last time you visited him in the office, or the last time you two went to the same place. All he could see and what’s left of you is your clothes hanging next to his, and a few drawers of your things.

It took about a week for the symptoms to show. He would get these headaches or lightheaded feelings out of nowhere, and his stomach hurt. Jungkook knew it was because of the all-nighters and barely eating at all. He couldn’t even remember the taste of actual food, only alcohol. Jungkook used to hate drinking. He never liked the dizziness of being drunk and hangovers. He always thought that there’s always a better solution than drinking your problems off. But he was never logical, or smarter enough to deal with you.

It was one beer at first. Late night after work, he roamed around the Han River park and found a good spot to sit down and drink. He thought about you. The smile on your face when he surprised you at the train station with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. The feeling of your fingers on his hair when he leaned on your thigh to watch a movie together. The scorching kisses on his lips when you came back after a family trip. Those memories that seemed so far away, along with the beer in his hand left a bitter taste in his mouth. It gradually became two, three, and eventually a pack of six. When he couldn’t think of any good moments, Jungkook recalled when your relationship cracked. It was huge, ugly, and Jungkook knew that he was the cause of it.

Jungkook’s thumb hovered over his phone when a familiar caller name appeared on the screen. It’s you. You were calling him for the first time in two months. For a second he thought about hanging up. Not because he didn’t want to talk, but because he had no idea what to say, or how to face you.

The ringtone went dead. Jungkook realized he had been arguing with himself long enough for you to hang up. He sighed out in relief, at least he didn’t have to face you when he’s not prepared in the slightest way. Although secretly he had been hoping that you could call again. Disappointment grew when you didn’t, and Jungkook slammed the lid of his computer down in frustration. A coworker tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around in slight annoyance.

“Jungkook, there’s someone here to see you.”  

In reality, he’s in no mood to deal with any visitors now, but Jungkook chose to go. If it’s work, at least he could take his mind off of you. What he didn’t expect though, is you in the corner of his company’s lobby, with your back facing him.

“Jungkook.”

It was you who turned around and said something first. Jungkook was still in a trance with the way you look. Your hair down to the shoulders and the pastel yellow checkered dress that made you look absolutely breathtaking. Your newly dyed hair complimented your features so much that he almost thought your skin was glowing. Jungkook barely recognized you. He could already sense some of his colleagues’ eyes on you. It made his blood boil, even though he knew that he lost that privilege a long time ago.

“What?”

His didn’t intend for his voice to come out so blunt and distant, but the gap in his heart since the last time he saw you were hurt too much, and seeing you this happy and unaffected like this angered him. Did he mean nothing to you? Were you not hurting like he was?

Your smile slowly disappeared into an indifferent stretch of your lips. He noticed how the light in your eyes dimmed slightly and instantly felt guilty. He wanted to say sorry, or come up with an excuse but his heart was in knots, and somehow the words just couldn’t come out.

“I want to tell you I’ll come to pick up my stuff tomorrow. If you wanna help you could clean up some of it, but it’s really no matter.”

His heart clenched. So this is it, you’re finally leaving him. You’ve finally stopped being so considerate after these two months of ‘time to think’. You've finally decided to leave him.

“I’m also here to give you this.” You unclasped your necklace and put it on your extended palm.

“It belongs to you anyway. You should have it back.” Jungkook stared at the necklace wordlessly, but inside his heart was breaking. He gave you that on a birthday, right after your sixth month anniversary. He spent half of his monthly salary on that when he was still a newbie in the office and barely went through his days with that money. Jungkook remembered how he started saving money long before that, even cutting his daily expenses to none. He didn’t care if he had one meal a day, or had to bike to work every day. He was happy to see you happy. And that’s what mattered the most. It meant so much to him, to you, and to your relationship, He didn’t think you would be returning this to him.

“Oh no. You keep it.” However indifferent he sounded, the shaky breath at the end of his sentence betrayed how Jungkook was feeling inside. He forced down the bitterness in his throat. He wanted you to have it. At least that means you could still cherish the good memories before everything fell apart.

However, you grasped his hand and let the necklace drop onto his palm. Unconsciously Jungkook clenched his fist and felt the cold, hard metal press into his palm. You weren’t even willing to keep one part of him?

His sad, angry eyes met your calm ones. A gentle smile graced your lips, but he noticed it’s a sad one. You took a step back and held on to the strap of your handbag.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The bell rang when Jungkook came out of the convenience store with a plastic bag in hand. He sighed and stretched his arms. He listened to the fizzle of beer and hesitated. Maybe he shouldn’t drink today, especially since he hadn’t eaten anything besides a bag of biscuits. Drinking this much would give him both a headache and a stomachache, and he didn’t want to go to work like that tomorrow. But your words suddenly echoed in his head.

Jungkook took a huge gulp. Doesn’t matter now. As long as he could get his mind off of you.  

Jungkook shrugged off the suit jacket and let his suitcase drop onto the floor. Right now, he had not a trace of energy or willingness left to do anything. His mind was hazy and chaotic, the alcohol taking in its effects. Not bothering to turn on the light in his bedroom, Jungkook sat down on his side with a tired groan and lay down to face the ceiling. Soon after the shuffling of bedsheets and comforters, he was securely under his blankets, left with a ringing in his ears and a suffocating silence.

It was easy for him to fall asleep, the only time he could waste away without thinking about you. Ever since you left, Jungkook had been working his butt off, completing almost twice his workload every day. It was almost impossible at first, but Jungkook kept going so that when he comes home, every ounce of his energy would be spent. You would be out of his mind.

Jungkook didn’t know when exactly he fell asleep, but he woke up with a sheen of sweat on his body and excruciating pain in his stomach area. He remembered the look of dismay on his doctor’s face the first time he went to the hospital for the pain. Jungkook knew it was because of his bad habits. But somehow the pain felt better than the thought of you leaving.  He panted heavily and turned on the bedside lamp. Just this one simple action made him groan out in pain.

He still managed to stumble into the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet, Jungkook cursed when he found an empty bottle. There’s nothing left to ease his pain now. Jungkook stared at his reflection in the mirror, at how ghastly he looked. Face pale with reddened eyes, and the sweat on his forehead. Stealing a glance at the clock, Jungkook clenched his teeth. It’s 3 in the morning. There’s no way he could catch a cab now. And he didn’t have the strength to even walk out the door.

Curling into a ball on the bed, Jungkook clenched his teeth and fists to fight off the pain. He bit his lips and tasted blood. This is when he hates himself the most. Getting drunk because of you, hurting alone because of you. His bottled feelings had no outlet to be released.

He reached out to his phone and squinted his eyes at the bright screen. Somehow, as if he got possessed, Jungkook scrolled through the contacts and pressed down your name. He wanted to end the call as soon as it went through, but an urgent sense of desperation held him back. The constant beeping kept going on, one after another. You still didn’t pick up. Jungkook shut his eyes when hot tears streamed down. Right, why would yo you pick up anyways? You must hate him so much now.

The next time he regained consciousness, Jungkook found himself under a warm blanket. And surprisingly, the pain in his stomach had reduced to an almost nonexistent level. Groggily, he sat up and grabbed his phone. Jungkook widened his eyes. It’s 10:30 already? Did he sleep for that long? Suddenly remembering he’s late for work, Jungkook scrambled up into the hallway despite the dull aches and tiredness.

He halted at the sight of you asleep on the couch in a terribly uncomfortable position. Jungkook rubbed his eyes a little too hard. Is he hallucinating now, too? Jungkook couldn’t believe what his eyes perceived. How in the world are you in his house, on his couch now?

Jungkook cursed under his breath when you stirred and opened your eyes. The moment your pupils focused on his own, you moved to stand before him.

“Jeon Jungkook.” You looked more serious than ever. “What the hell have you been thinking?”

Jungkook looked at you in confusion when you shoved a diagnostic report in his hand. Scanning the page, Jungkook realized it’s an analysis of his problems. You must have come and sent him to a hospital. Your tone, although accusing, was laced with worry. It made him felt guiltier and more worthless than ever.

“Thank you. You should leave now. You’ve wasted enough time on me. I have work too.” Jungkook screamed to himself in his head. This is not what he wanted to say. He cast his eyes onto the floor and threw the report on the table. He knew exactly what problems he had, but they were really not on the top of his priority list.  

“Wasted? Jeon Jungkook, you could have been dead by now if I’m not here!”  

How he wished he could tell you his pain, his frustrations, so you could stop giving him this judgmental and pitied look. How he wished he could just tell you that you were the reason he’s suffering. He didn’t want you to look at him that way. He won’t let you look at him that way. Jungkook turned away in the direction of his room.

“So you’re just gonna leave, huh? Like you did every fucking time there’s a problem between us.”

You muttered out the last sentence, but Jungkook still caught onto it. He wanted to argue that he’s not the one that left. He wanted to say that he’s always been here, at the same place wanting to apologize but is too prideful and cowardly to do so. He couldn’t find the resolve to take another step away.

Maybe you took notice of his slumped shoulders or the way he’s trying hard to hold himself together. Or perhaps you realized it’s not a good time to argue because you tugged him gently to sit on the couch and pushed a glass of water to him.

“I called your office and explained.” You paused and spoke in a softer voice. “I’ll get your meds and some food.”

You came back with some soup and a bowl of rice with a fried egg on top. It tasted like heaven, but the bitterness in his mouth didn’t disappear. Why won’t you stay if you still care about him enough to remember his food preference?

He watched you taking out the remaining of your stuff and zipped the bag up. Jungkook felt the knot in his heart getting tighter and tighter until he couldn’t breathe anymore. Abruptly he stood up and wrapped you tight from the behind. Your body stiffened, and your hands grabbed his arms, trying to remove them.

“Please. Just this once.”

You froze because he starting sobbing by the end of the sentence. His whole body was shaking when you turned around and hugged him back. You felt Jungkook breathe out in relief instantly.

“Can you stay, please?”

Your heart clenched at how broken he sounded, how desperate he looked. You know how much you love him, and how much he loves you. It took almost a hundred percent of your resolve to push him away. The words rehearsed a thousand times in your head got stuck in your throat the moment Jungkook’s tear-brimmed eyes focused on your own.

“You know I can’t. We both made mistakes and need to learn from them. I am not leaving because I don’t love you anymore, Kook. So don’t blame this on you. Don’t skip meals, don’t stay up too late, and cut down the alcohol. When we meet again-when you think you’ve matured enough, when I think I’ve matured enough to understand what responsibility means, maybe we can start again.”

Jungkook stood in the foyer until the echoing of your footsteps could no longer be heard. No matter how many regrets he had, how heartbroken he felt, you were right. At least you ended on a good page, or maybe a new beginning for the future.

[oneofthemillionarmy]

A Splash of Milk

To: @eternalyoongi - Merry Christmas!!!

Hiiii, it’s me your secret santa! I hope you enjoy your scenario! Hopefully it’s not too long for you <3

-

Work was slow again. It seemed as though nobody craved coffee in the month of December, and if they did, they weren’t craving it from the shop you worked at. The stray customer would pop their head in every once in a while, get a quick cup of joe and then pop right back out. No one stayed to chat, or to relax or even to get away from the frigid air outside, which was the most surprising to you. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or maybe it was a little too warm in the shop or they didn’t like the choice of Holiday music your boss chose to play. But, whatever it was, you couldn’t put your finger on. Still, you worked through your shifts just as you normally would, drinking a cup or two of your favorite beverage to try and keep it at least somewhat pleasant. Anything to pass the time. 

Your boss stayed out of the picture. He knew there was no reason to be out front when only a handful of customers would show up throughout the day, but of course he kept the store open just to bring in any kind of revenue he could and of course he’d only put you and your coworker, Lena on the schedule. 

Lena was… boring to say the least. She didn’t talk much, only when taking an order. She didn’t like to joke around either. Just sit there and do her job was her motto. Which is fine, like, she’s a model employee basically, but you would have hoped he’d schedule you with someone a bit more lively- especially considering this café was dead. 

But, nonetheless, you put up and shut up. Every once in a while, you’d check your phone, scroll through twitter or facebook, catch up with the latest shenanigans they had to offer, but only so much could happen in a day; and after the 15th time refreshing your newsfeed, you were officially over this shift. 

You groaned aloud as you stretched almost dramatically, flailing your arms in every which way as your feet flew out beneath you. The stool you sat upon wobbled slightly but in that moment, you didn’t even care if you’d have fallen. It’d probably have made things more interesting. Unfortunately, even that didn’t happen. 

“Aren’t you bored?” You asked Lena, hoping for ANY kind of communications, but she simply stood at the register, shaking her head lightly.  

“No.” Was all she said, and you sighed to yourself, throwing your head back in annoyance. 

- 

Work dragged on for a few more hours and not so soon enough, closing time was approaching. The best part about holidays were your hours. You’d close about an hour early although it didn’t matter in hindsight since you’d stay after and clean the place up, but if you sped through that you could get home by 8:45 and that was a win for you! 

So, once the place was cleaned up, primed and polished, you removed your apron, straightened out any out kinks in your hair and headed for the door. 

“See you both tomorrow! 11:00am sharp!” Your boss hollered after you and Lena. It’s like he had no other workers or something. It was okay though because you were going home early tonight and had a new bottle of wine ready to be popped open! And leftover thai food from the night before! And you were going to finish the new season of Stranger Things! Tonight was about you and healing your bored mind before heading back to the same black and white shop tomorrow. 

The chimes jingled on the door and you were met with the brisk, bitter winter wind. It was dark already, the sun deciding to set hours earlier. Instantly, your glasses fogged and you sighed, tugging your jacket tighter to you. You didn’t even bother to wipe off your glasses. Your current mission was to get home as quick as possible so you could eat, come down from this caffeine high and relax with netflix. So, you huffed out a determined breath, a small puff cloud tangling into the air and you set off in the direction of your home, until someone collided directly into you, that is. 

“Oof!” You pipped before falling straight into the snow ridden sidewalk. 

“Hey, are you okay? Sorry about that, I must have had my head in the clouds here.” He continued as he pulled you to your feet checking you over from head to toe in search of injury, none were to be found though, besides a ridiculously wet bottom. 

“Sorry,” The man added again, his eyebrows furrowed upwards, “I really wasn’t paying attention. I’ve been trying to hunt for an open coffee shop but they all seemed to be closed.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” You mumbled, wiping the excess snow from your legs and behind, “Most of them are on holiday hours though… you could try the convenient store."   

Once you were done, you finally decided to wipe off your glasses and then you got a good look at the man in front of you. He had pale silver hair, and thin rimmed glasses with a frostbitten nose. It burned a bright red and you suddenly felt bad for the guy. How long had he been out here? Why didn’t he just make a coffee at home? It was 8:30pm why was he out trying to get a coffee right now? Was he homeless? But he dressed too nice to be homeless. You had too many questions. 

"Yeah, that’s probably the best bet then. They always water their coffee down though,” He pouted, glancing to the building next to you both, “This one closed too?” 

You nodded, questions still rapid firing through your head as you tried to search the man for their answers, “Yeah, we just closed actually.” 

His eyebrows raised, “Oh, we? Do you work here? You don’t look like a barista that much."  

"Oh?” You squeaked, slightly annoyed. What were barista’s supposed to look like? Who’d this clown think he was? 

“Not in a bad way! I don’t know why I said that, it’s just I always imagine them as men. And you’re definitely not a man… I don’t think? I’m going to stop talking.” 

You laughed lightly at the man’s rambling even if it was slightly questionable, something about him you deemed as cute, but in the weirdest way possible. 

“Oh…kay…. then? Well, I’ll be off, thanks for knocking me on my butt,” You snickered before bustling away, “Good luck on your coffee hunt!” 

You waved off the man who stared at you with wide eyes, like he wasn’t actually done talking, but the call of thai food and netlfix was just too strong. As you bid the strange guy farewell, a thought passed through your mind thinking that you’d most likely never seeing him again but, if he was going to bump you on to your ass every time you saw him, you’d prefer to not have another run in. Literally. 

- 

The night of self-care didn’t last long enough and before you knew it, you were back at the coffee shop, 11:00am sharp just as called.  

You sat at the register, already tired and wanting to go home when suddenly the door chimed. Your eyes flashed open expecting the first customer of the day, but it was only Lena running late. Tears adorned her lashes from the cold drying them out, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it were because she was late for the first time since she started working here. 

“S-Sorry!” She chattered, throwing off her thick winter coat and chucking the apron on, “The roads were really bad today and there was this huge wreck ahead of me and we had to sit there for a good half hour…” Lena droned on and on but eventually you tuned her out. This was the most she’d talked since you met her and you already wanted her to stop. Honestly you didn’t care that she was late, and neither did your boss. It’s not like you had a line waiting to be served their coffee or anything.  

Eventually she calmed down after being reassured she wasn’t going to be fired, which, of course she wasn’t. She was one of his only employees who actually wanted to work these days. 

You sighed and ran your hand through your hair as you gazed across the street to the other coffee shop. It seemed to have customers and was actually doing well so, why the hell were you not getting any? 

Whatever the reason was, you chose to forget about and make yourself a caramel latte. If no one else was going to drink from your shop, then at least you would! 

- 

A few hours passed with about three customers served and you had already met your previous quota of 15 refreshes on the facebook feed.  

“Lena, I’m taking my break!” You huffed, swiping your bangs behind your ear. 

“But you took your last one 20 minutes ago! What if someon-"  

"No one is going to come in, and if they do, serve them. It’s not hard.” You growled, snatching your 3rd cup of hot chocolate and retreating to the comfy chair in the corner of the store. 

You didn’t really know why you were in a bad mood, well, maybe it was due to the fact that you just sat there all day literally doing nothing besides drinking your daily calorie intake in coffee and make it was due to the fact that your only coworker had no socialization skills whatsoever. But, you reminded yourself you were getting paid at the end of the week and then you were going to treat yourself to the new Kat Von D lipstick that had just come out and suddenly you were happy. 

‘It’ll be okay, just gotta get through the next two days.’ You mimed in your head, reaching for your phone once again. It was nearing 5:00pm and you counted your lucky stars there were only a few more hours left of this godforsaken shift.  

The doors bells jingled and both yours and Lena’s eyes flew to the culprit. It was the man from last night, or, the Odd Ball as you’d dubbed him.  

He walked in wearing a pair of white headphones and made his way to a table by the window, setting his laptop bag upon it as well the rest of his belongings. He was wearing the same glasses and once again the tip of his nose was tinted red. He must get cold easily, you thought. 

Lena was more than ready to take his order as he approached the counter, even stuttering her words due to how excited she was. 

“Ho-How can I h-help you?” She struggled, her ears turning red in embarrassment. You had half a mind to go and help her by making his drink but, meh, you were on break. 

“I’ll have a black coffee with a splash of milk, please.” He said, reaching to his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.  

“I’ll have that right out for you sir! May I interest you in a scone or bagel? They're freshly made this morning and to be honest… you’re one of our only customers today so it’d really help us if you bought one.” 

The man laughed and nodded, pointing to the lemon scone which made Lena gleam even brighter. Damn, what was she flirting with the guy? Suddenly, your interest was piqued. She didn’t even know how odd this one was. Although, she was a weird one too. Maybe they’d work out well together. Have a weird wedding, some weird babies. And then you stopped yourself. Now you were the weird one thinking all these crazy thoughts but in the end, you chalked it up to sheer boredom. 

“You know,” The man piped in, tucking his wallet back into his jeans, “You probably don’t have a lot of customers due to the fact the open sign isn’t on. The only reason I thought to come in was because I saw you at the counter."  

Yours and Lena’s eye widened as they shot to the open sign which in fact, was not on. Had the both of you really forgot to turn it on the entire week? 

"O-oh, you know that’s probably right. I’ll make your coffee and then go turn that on.” She grinned, but it never reached her eyes. You both felt, in lack of a better word, stupid right now. 

“That’s probably a good idea. Also, there’s a girl who works here, she has glasses-"  

"Oh, Mao! Yeah, she’s taking a break right now.” Lena smiled, gesturing to your frame that was currently slumped in the chair at the moment.  

When the man turned to look at you, your body jumped into action, instantly fixing your posture and hair as you coughed, clearing anything out of your throat and busying yourself on your phone. Your eyes glanced up at the odd ball when he smiled and waved to you, so you did the same back… only a million times more awkwardly. 

“Here’s your coffee and scone, sir! Please don’t hesitate to ask for anything else you might want.” You could have swore she winked but by the time she handed him the coffee and scone, he was gone. You silently laughed to yourself at the failed attempt but then were instantly questioning where shy, innocent Lena went. Maybe she wasn’t really quiet afterall? Maybe she just didn’t like you… 

The man carried his little tray back to his table but not before passing you and whispering a 'Hello.’ 

“Hello…?” You whispered back, your head twisting in confusion.��

“So, your name is Mao then? Sorry about last night. I hope your pants weren’t too wet on the way back home… Mao.” 

“Why do you keep saying my name?” You chimed back, “Also, they were soaking, but it’s okay, I have a washer and dryer.” 

“Ah, well good for that then. Also, I don’t know. I like the sound of it. Mao. It’s cute, almost like the sound a cat makes.” He grinned. 

“That’s meow… not Mao. But, enjoy your coffee and scone which wasn't freshly made this morning by the way.” You said as you grabbed your hot cocoa and heading back to the register. 

The man peeked down to the little loaf in front of him before eyeing you up again, “Wait, don’t you want to know my name too?"  

"Not really.” 

- 

Odd ball ended up staying until the last minute as he typed away at his laptop, headphones never leaving his ears once he put them back in and right as Lena went and told him it was closing time, he left; of course, not before glancing in your way more than once. Each time you’d avoid his gaze because why would you look at him? He was a weirdo. He was cute, you guessed. And there was something about him that intrigued you, but… you were already dealing with one weirdo. As you peaked at Lena, who incidentally was looking at Odd Ball, your eyes rolled.  

“Get me out of here…” You sighed. 

- 

This ended up going on for another two weeks. Odd Ball, which you now knew him as Yoongi thanks to taking his order once every day, would come in and type, type, type away at his laptop for hours of the day, always staying until close; and then the week before Christmas he stopped showing up. Much to Lena’s dismay may I add. She was actually quite upset. You thought was strange too. Her personality had done a 180 degree flip in the matter of weeks and suddenly she was this bubbly, somewhat promiscuous woman, which cool! But, why was she so quiet and shy in the first place? Were you mistaking that for her just being rude to you? Maybe.  

“Oh, it’s almost 5 o'clock!” She piped aloud to herself, a small grin placed on her lips. 

But, 15 minutes passed, and then another 30 minutes and soon enough it was 6pm. 

“I don’t think lover boy will be showing up today, Lena.” You laughed, mixing the waiting man’s 4 pumps of vanilla into his coffee. 

“What?!” She howled, “No way… Yoongi comes in every day. You think he’d just stop showing up suddenly? Yeah right, we have a thing going.” 

You obnoxiously snorted at her comment, to which she wasn’t so pleased with, “A thing?! Like what? You staring at him all day while he works on whatever he does on his laptop? Yeah, real connection there.” 

Lena rolled her eyes, claiming that you didn’t know what you were talking about, but she was delusional and you found it funny.  

Soon enough, it was closing time and Yoongi never showed up. Lena pouted and sauntered about like a child, but didn’t say a word after that. 

As you left the shop that night, you found yourself wondering just where the light haired man was, and why he didn’t come in today. Of course, you shook that thought away from you as quickly as it came because why would YOU be thinking about Odd Ball like that? Lena could worry about him for all you cared. 

- 

You worked all the way up until the day before Christmas. Missing out on Christmas parties and get togethers made you sad, but at least you got out of those bothersome questions your family always asked.  

'Where’s your boyfriend? Girlfriend?’ 

'When are you getting married? 

'What are you doing with your life?’ Blah, blah, blah. 

You genuinely hated that, so working through them wasn’t such a bad thing.  

The shop’s business picked up the final days before Christmas right until Christmas Eve. Numerous customers appeared throughout the days and the breaks you took were no longer for the hell of it. You guessed it really was that open sign being turned off. In reality, it was quite funny that none of you realized it was off until Yoongi pointed it out. Speaking of which, still hadn’t shown up since last week. Lena had moved on thankfully. It was super annoying she fawned over someone who really had no interest in her at all. I mean, it was obvious. His head was buried into his laptop and when it wasn’t doing that or sipping from his mug, he was looking at… well, you. 

Like, why? Every time he’d look your way, you found yourself consciously fixing your hair, or maybe your glasses were crooked or your shirt was tucked in weird. That had to have been the reason he’d look at you, right? It’s not like he could have taken a liking to you. You’d barely spoken more than a handful of words to him. Although, you wouldn’t put it past him. He was an odd ball after all.  

The idea of Yoongi harboring a secret crush on you made your cheeks flush and the tips of your ears burn. Your eyes widened at the thought and you vehemently denied the mere idea of ever crushing on him. You didn’t know him. He’s some man who came to your coffee shop, who’d knocked you on your ass and that was it. You didn’t know ANYTHING about him! He could be a stalker for all you knew! But, if he was he’d have followed you home or something by now right? Man, why the hell hadn’t he shown up recently? You vowed the next time he came in, you’d confront him. The staring was creepy, albeit a bit endearing, but before you could finish your thought, a booming voice interrupted you. 

“Alright, we’re slow already so why don’t we close up shop for today? I’ll see you guys on Wednesday, okay?” Your boss bleated. 

You and Lena were so shocked that he’d let you out early that the only thing you both could do was stare at him. 

“W-W-Why are you all looking at me like that? I can be a nice guy sometimes!” He backtracked. 

You were still in a state of shock while Lena yelled she’d leave first and whipped off her apron as she sprinted to the door.  

“Ah, that Lena…” Your boss mumbled, “What happened to her? Anyways, alright Mao. You know how to lock up the shop right? I’ll leave you to it. Me and the wife are off to her folks for a family dinner, so wish me luck! Have a good holiday.” 

He ruffled your hair and then he too, booked it out the door. What was going on? 

You found your wits and once you realized what had happened, you wanted to be out here immediately, ASAP. So, you sped cleaned the counter, wiping it down, dumping the old coffee, organizing the cash register, everything. 

You sang happily aloud of your early departure from work. It was truly a Christmas Miracle! That is, until the bell on the door chimed signaling a customer’s arrival.  

“Sorry!” You said, counting the ones in the register, “We’re closing right now! I think the shop across the street is open though!” 

“Ah, really?” The voice sighed. But the voice was too familiar for you to just ignore, “It’s not even 6pm yet though. Don’t you guys close at 8? That place across the street is gross. Their coffee is too bitter.” 

Yoongi. Only he’d whine about something so trivial. 

“We’re closing extra early tonight, sorry.” You muttered, finally looking up the man.  

His brown winter jacket adorned with a fluffy, white collar went up to his chin. He wore those round glasses he’d usually wear and of course his nose was tinted a crimson red. Your eyes nearly glossed over at the sight before you. Your heartbeat picked up and you cursed yourself for being dumb. What, you missed him or something? Yeah right. 

“That’s too bad. There’s no way you could just make me one cup to go?” He hoped, and you nearly faltered, but instead of answering his question, you asked one of your own. 

“Where did you go?” 

“Huh?” He hummed, his head tilting to the side. 

“Oh-uh… Just… where’d you go this past week? Lena missed you.” Fuck, throw Lena under the bus why not.  

“Oh, haha… I’ve been here and there. Visiting family and what not. Thought maybe I’d take a break from this place.” 

“Why?” You continued, 'Damn, Mao. Getting brave here, chill out.’ 

“I don’t know. It probably was a bit creepy me here coming in all the time. Or awkward or something.” He hesitated, but for what you didn’t know. 

“Why would it be awkward? Are we not allowed to have regulars?"  

"Huh? Oh, no you can. I just… I don’t know. I get the feeling you don’t like me much.” 

Your heart flipped at that. He thought you didn’t like him? Sure, you might not have come off as the nicest but that didn’t mean you didn’t like him. And if you were being honest with yourself right now, you weren’t really quite sure how were feeling about him. Really, when did he get this cute? His features really popping out to you now, not just his button nose. His lips were plump but small and the roundness of his face suited the catlike tweak to his eyes. His skin was clear and pale after not being exposed to the sun during this brutal winter, and he was quite honestly beautiful. 

“What? No, I don’t like you-WAIT, that came out wrong. I don’t dislike you! I just, I don’t know you. I’m sorry if I came off as rude.” And you were sorry! Maybe deep down you were holding some sort of secret grudge against the time he’d knocked you over, but other than that you really didn’t know why you were cold towards him. What was wrong with you? 

“Oh, no it’s okay! I just thought from the incident outside, you just didn’t like me or something, I don’t know. But, now that we’ve cleared that up, I’ll let you get back to closing up. Have a good holiday, Mao.” 

Yoongi turned to walk off but couldn’t get too far away before you yelled after him. 

“Wait!” You yelped, causing him to look back at you. 

“Do you still want that coffee?” 

- 

It was 6:30 now. The sun was set completely, the only source of light illuminating the Earth was the Moon. The onyx sky mixed with inky cerulean, and tendrils of hazy white as the stars twinkled their way through the frostbitten air. On the inside though, the smell of fresh roasted coffee beans lingered in the air, nodes of cinnamon and hazelnut complimented them. It was warm and cozy as slow Christmas music dazed in the background as the shop was lit with a yellow hue. It was inviting, and it was comfortable.  

You approached the table in the corner by the window with two, big ceramic mugs filled to the brim of your drinks of choice. 

“Okay, hot chocolate for me and black coffee with a splash of milk for you.” 

Yoongi smiled up to you before taking the toasty mug away from you and setting it on the table. He was gone for a moment before coming back with a stirrer and sugar packets. 

“So, what are you always typing while you’re in here?” You inquired. 

“Oh, that. I’m usually just writing music, producing it. Like, making beats and stuff.” 

“Ah, so you like music? Which kind?” 

Yoongi grinned again at the mention of his favorite topic and began a long tangent of what he did, what he was into, why he was doing it. He liked all sorts of music, from Hip-Hop to R&B to indie and alternative and everything in between. He’d always had a passion for it, like it was his calling in life to create music to change the world with. His eyes were so bright as he spoke in favor of his hobbies that you couldn’t help but to stare. That’s why it was beyond embarrassing when he called you out on it. 

“Uh, Earth to Mao? You still there?” He teased, waving a hand in front of you. 

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, sorry. I zoned out for a second.” 

“Oh, was I too boring? Was it too much?"  

"NO!” You shouted, causing another wave of embarrassment to crash over your body, “I mean, no you weren’t boring at all! I was really into it actually. You seem so happy when you talk about it, I got caught up in your eyes. Wait, that sounds weird, huh?” 

Yoongi wheezed out a cute laugh and you found yourself laughing along with him, “No, that’s not weird. I think I like it to be honest. I think I like you.” 

Your eyes widened at the sudden confession, which had Yoongi throwing his hands up and backtracking immediately, “Wait! Ah, not like that. Well! I mean, I think you’re cute but I meant, I like you cause I think you’re intriguing. You’re weird.” 

You scoffed immediately, almost insulted that he’d called you weird. Odd Ball, calling you the weird one?! 

“HA! I beg to differ! You’re the weird one! Coming in here every day and practically staring at me!” 

Now it was Yoongi’s turn to scoff, “Stare at you! I mean, I’ll admit I look at you a lot, but it’s hardly staring. I can’t help the fact of you being pretty.” 

You went to retaliate, but he called you pretty and it was like, your brain turned to mush. Once again, your cheeks flushed up, and your voice caught in your throat causing you to make a weird, gargle sound which only made Yoongi laugh even more. 

“You’re even pretty when you make ugly noises. Wow, you’re dangerous.” He winked. 

“But, really. You said you don’t know me and I’d like to change that. If that’s okay."  

Even as words still failed you, your head was able to nod quick enough to tell him it was okay. Because, wow, you really wanted to know more. Maybe Lena really did have a good eye for guys. Also, sorry Lena. Didn’t mean to steal your man. 

"Good. I’m glad." Yoongi gleamed a toothy grin in your direction and you nearly choked again, so you sprung forward frantically, as you reached towards your warm drink on the table.  

You brought the wide-rimmed mug to your lips and took a small sip, spluttering it out immediately. 

"Ugh! Why is this suddenly so sugary!?” You winced, actually cringing from the level of sweetness while Yoongi smiled at you, shaking his head slightly. 

“No, you dork. You drank from my mug. You know, the one right in front of me, remember?” He laughed, “It’s like you totally ignored yours like it wasn’t even there.” 

Your eyes widened in disgust, setting the mug down with a tiny clink, “You drink this?! Every day you come and get a coffee you put this much sugar in it?!” You were flabbergasted! There had to have been at least 5 or more sugar packets in this single mug! 

Yoongi chuckled before pushing up his glasses and looking at you, “Honestly, I put more than that in the to go cups. Five, six… maybe seven packets. It’s just something I’ve always liked! Sweet coffee with a splash of milk. There, I’m not that much of a stranger anymore am I? You must know like 4 facts about me now.” He reached over to the cup and lifted it to his own lips, swallowing down gulp after gulp.  

You watched on with confusion as you shook your head. You never thought a person like Yoongi would like their coffee like that…. or anyone in general. Just the thought of seven packets of sugar had your tongue coiling into itself, and your face into a scowl.  

But, as you continued watching him, Yoongi scrolled through his phone momentarily, taking another few sips from the wretched drink, a cheesy grin replaced your look of displeasure. He really was something else, wasn’t he? A fucking odd ball, but one you absolutely couldn’t wait to get to know. You always liked them weird anyways.