#and the chapter ends when wolfe ends the recording

[thebestofoneshots]

touches | Remus Lupin x Reader

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 12.8 k (yeah, I don't even know how this happened, but damn do I love the final result)

Warnings: smut, teasing, dry hump*ng, finger fucking, hand job, masturbati*n, P in V, lots of praise, consent is sexy, lusty!Remus, he literally can't take his eyes off you. His big, sexy destrous hands make you quiver.

Prompt: Inspired by the sense of touch, this fic tells the story of Remus being absolutely head over heels for you and his obsession with a particular picture of you in a sundress. A picture, that unleashes his most lecherous, and debaucherous self.

Mutual Pinning, Idiots in Love, smut with a plot

sights is part of The Five Senses: an anthology series where each chapter will be a stand alone story, inspired by the different ways we have of perceiving the world around us.

♡ NSFW: Smut under the cut

You had had crushes before, but whatever this thing you had going on for Remus Lupin was something else entirely. Enticing, addicting, almost like a drug, no, not almost, Remus Lupin was most definitely like a drug to you. 

The smell of his cologne was intoxicating, you could actually tell he was coming in your direction just from the sheer scent that would hit you before his beautiful face did, and you would instantly perk up, and try to act as natural as possible when he passed by. It didn’t help that every single time he saw you he would smile so brightly, you felt like your entire world was being illuminated. He’d then walk closer to you, greet you, and place an arm over your shoulders, especially if you had to go to the same place, and most of the time you were going to the same place, the library.

You would sit across each other and no matter how much fucking attention you tried to pay to whatever book you were reading, or to whatever it was you were trying to study, you’d continuously get distracted by him. By the way he flipped the pages of his book, by the way he shifted on the chair, by the way he fucking breathed. You weren’t sure it was a crush anymore, since it started feeling like a bIoody obsession instead. 

There was something about the way his rich brown eyes looked at you that made you feel so fucking high, you might have as well held the record of the person with the most feet above the ground while flying a broom. 

The absolute worst part was the dreams you were having, it all started one time you were all chilling in the common room and for some reason you ended up with your feet over his lap, you didn’t even remember how it happened, but you certainly did remember how it had felt. The sly wolf had placed his stupid hot hands over your legs, and as he was talking to everyone, he started gently –and absentmindedly you assumed– rubbing small circles over your knees. And then his hand had traveled a bit upwards, just above your knee, nothing indecent really, just a stupid friendly hand, a friendly hand that was so big, and strong and dextrous that you couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

Even days after it happened you were still thinking about the ghost of his hands ever so present in your head. But it wasn’t until exactly one and a half weeks later, that you solidified your obsession. You had a dream in which the exact same thing happened, except this time the rest of your friends weren’t there, and Remus' hand continued to travel upwards, and upwards, until it reached the place where you had wanted it the most. 

And he had done so many filthy and nasty things in your dream that when you woke up you weren’t only blushing for what had happened, but your panties had been so ruined that you had to change them before anyone noticed what had happened. Next time you saw Remus you were so fucking mortified you couldn’t even look at him in the eye. 

Remus Lupin wasn’t much better either. He had thought of you as beautiful from the day he met you, stunning even, but that had been that. You were all just kids and all just friends. In fact, he thought James was weird for having a crush on 12-year-old Lily. Who has a crush when you’re 12?, he’d thought, girls are dumb and entitled. 

Yeah, perhaps Remus didn’t have a crush on you from the very beginning like James had fallen for Lily, and he might have even thought he didn’t even like girls at some point, especially when he took into account his misadventures with Sirius and other boys in 5th year. But one day you were all having dinner, and then you bit into the juiciest plum he had ever seen, some of the sugary liquid spilling down from your lips as you took the fruit away from them, and something fucking snapped in Remus. 

You noticed he was staring, and gave him a bright smile “This one’s insanely good, wanna bite?��� you’d asked him as you pushed the deep red fruit towards his face. On the inside, it was a lighter hue of red, and Remus swallowed when he noticed the bite marks on the side of its skin, your bite marks. ”I promise you’d like it,” you said as you dangled the fruit over his face. The boy did eventually lean in and gave the fruit a bite, his nose accidentally brushing against your hand. You blinked a couple of times when he peered through his lashes at you mid-bite, really trying to swallow the nasty thoughts that came into your head.

Remus didn’t so much as manage to do that, after the bite he pulled back, placing a napkin over his mouth to clean up the sugary wetness left by the fruit, and nodded, yeah, it had been a bIoody tasty fruit “Delicious.”   

“Told you,” you’d responded with a smile and gave it another bite, moaning just a little at the flavour. If Remus Lupin’s pants were already making him uncomfortable, the way you fucking ate that fruit all the way ‘till the end, could have been his elegy.  

“Dеad for lusting over his friend” he imagined his grave would say, feeling miserable over having such nasty thoughts of you. When you crossed the table to tell James something about a prank, Remus didn’t think much of it, he just sank a little deeper onto the chair and placed his robes over his lap to try and mask what was actually going on. He tried imagining Dumbledore naked, and it seemed to have worked at least a little bit, but after you were done you placed your hand on his shoulder and leaned over to him with a soft smile on your face. 

“I’m going to the library to go over some charms, you coming?” you asked him.  

He barely managed to muster a tight-lipped smile and shook his head “I’m… I’m not feeling too good, I’ll be going to the dorms,” he somehow managed to say. 

“Oh, all right,” you smiled, letting your hand draw from shoulder to shoulder, brushing just for a second over the skin of the back of his neck, and that just made another shiver run down his spine, “I’ll see you around then!” You said just before melting into the crowds of students as you left. Remus had to stay on his seat for a good 15 minutes after that.

"Moony, you’re not coming?" James asked him as he stood up and started walking with the boys. 

Sirius burst out into a devilish smile “Oh he is cumming, all right!" the boy said. James didn’t get the joke, but Remus groaned and let his head fall on the table. Sirius knew now. BIoody fantastic!

Next thing Remus knew, he was getting the most random boners whenever you were around, and he felt like absolute shit. Especially since you weren’t doing anything that should be causing those kinds of reactions on him. Or at least you weren’t doing them to get him turned on. Leaning down to pick up a pencil that had fallen to the ground and flashing him with the short shorts you wore under your skirt as the two of you walked towards the library shouldn’t have gotten his cock to twitch and yet he had to lie to you and tell you to get ahead of the two since ��he had forgotten something”.

He also shouldn’t have gotten a boner when you pressed yourself against him in a hug to wish him a happy birthday, or when you gave him a small kiss on the cheek after he won the Wizards’ Chess contest. To be fair, you weren’t even sure where you’d mustered up the courage for that one, since you had turned so red you had fled the place before you even noticed the small tent on his pants. 

He shouldn’t have gotten one when Bins had you cross over the classroom and used you as a teacher’s assistant to write down things on the board. But he could’ve sworn your shirt was shorter that day, nothing more than a few inches, but there was definitely a lot more skin to see.

The one time he had a boner in the library because he dropped his parchment and leaned in to get it, realizing that for some reason you hadn’t worn your usual shorts and instead under your skirt he could actually see your knickers, was the time he thought it was acceptable. Especially when he did a double-take after he noticed the lacy pattern on your black underwear. Regardless it did nothing to make him not feel like a perv, even less when you leaned down on the table and gave him a rather concerned look “You okay Rem?” you asked “Did you find your parchment?” 

He coughed a couple of times, thankfully the parchment had fallen a bit away from his grasp, and he somehow pointed at it. You nodded in comprehension and extended your leg to kick the parchment towards him, flashing him even more in the process. He had to avert his gaze as soon as your eyes turned back to him “thanks,” he said, voice strained, both of you were back over the table in a second. 

You frowned “Sure you’re okay?” you asked again, leaning in closer with your extended hand just inches away from his face, but you pulled your hand away from him when you realized the apprehensive way he was staring at you. He was thankful, he was sure he might have cum in his pants had you actually placed your hand over his cheek the way you sometimes did. 

Lily had come and get you from the library and he had just stayed there, face hidden under his arms as he cursed himself for being a perv. Then he felt a hand over his leg and almost jumped from his seat, realizing it was just Sirius. 

The blue-eyed boy was looking at his friend with a knowing smile, Remus pulled back just a little “I’ve seen what’s been happening to you.” 

 “You haven’t seen shit,” Remus responded defensively which just got a laugh from Sirius. 

“Moony, if you think I haven’t seen the way you shift in your seat whenever she’s around, or the way you subtly place your bag over your lap in class sometimes, or the way you stayed down the table for a little longer than you would in any normal situation, then–” 

“–Shut it, shut it, shut it,” he said as he attempted to place his hands over Sirius, the other boy just laughed again. 

“I’m here to give you advice,” the other boy said calmly as he grabbed Remus’ wrists to stop them from accidentally hitting him.

Remus eyed him suspiciously “What advice?” 

“Wank it off,” Sirius said with a shrug. 

Remus deadpanned “I’m not gonna,” he started and then added in a hushed tone “wank it off!” 

“It’s the only solution I see, that or you tell her you have the hots for her.” 

“That’s not happening either.” 

“Could do it for you,” the boy shrugged again. “Seduce her and bring her onto your bed.” 

“Sirius, you’re most definitely not going to seduce my crush.” 

“But it’s painful to see you like this,” the other boy said, pointing at the bulge in Remus’ pants that was only now starting to subside. 

“Well then don’t look!” Remus said pointedly, pulled a book from the table and started reading it.  Sirius knew it was useless to say anything after that, but he also knew he had somewhat been successful, the idea had already been planted in his friend’s head. 

And really, it’s not that Remus wanted to think about it, but when he got another boner over you just walking past him, he knew he had to find a solution to his problem. And, in the end, the solution found him instead. You were just walking away from the library when something dropped from your bag, “hey wait you…” he leaned over to pass it on to you, but he noticed then that it was a picture of you. You were wearing a sundress, a milkmaid sundress, pale yellow with small pink flowers, and you were smiling towards the camera as you moved and looked back at the castle behind you. He realized quickly it was Bayern, the castle you told him you had gone to visit on your last summer vacation that had a rather complicated German name he hadn’t cared to memorize.

And while the castle was definitely an impressive feat of architecture, it was half as impressive as you in that sundress. You had shown him several pictures of your trip, but you had never shown him that one, he almost felt like he had been robbed of something from not being able to see you in that dress before. 

“You said something?” You asked, turning around to look at him. He quickly pocketed the small picture and shook his head, pulling the pencil he had been holding on his other hand.

“Just dropped this,” he said with a tight-lipped smile, trying not to let the guilt consume him.

“All right, see you at dinner,” you said as you turned around with a shrug and started walking away from the library.

He could feel the soft edges of the small photograph in his pockets with his hand still inside it, he was aching to get to see you in that bIoody sundress again, so after giving it some thought, that being exactly four seconds, he decided he’d have to skip class that day. Consequences be damned, he had to get to his room.  

In what could easily be considered record time, Remus was already in the common room, running up the stairs and opening the door to his shared room, he walked inside and looked around, trying to make sure there was no one in there. Score, room was empty, even the bathroom. While he started walking to the bed, he started having second thoughts. “You can’t do this” a little voice in his head said “It’s wrong, you’re betraying her trust”. 

Remus tried to shove those thoughts away as he continued feeling the edges of the photograph still safely tucked inside his pocket. He flipped his fingers over one of them and heard the small thump of the paper muffled by the fabric of his pants. Is it really wrong if I…? He wondered. It’s not like you had given him the picture… it's not like you had trusted him with it and he was about to do something heinous with it. In fact, he had stumbled into the picture, it had been all an accident, a coincidence, so if it were to actually wank it off with it, he wouldn’t be doing anything wrong, would he? 

He approached his bed, he’d made a decision, he was sure, a few steps towards it and he was taking another step back, still fidgeting with his hand on the pliant photograph paper. And then he remembered the stash. He leaned under Peter’s bed –where they all kept their shit– and went straight for one of the playwizzard magazines. He started staring at the pictures of the beautiful nude witches, with their huge assets and their surprisingly hot movements. He sat down on his bed and continued staring, making sure to use a spell to lock the door as he started unzipping his pants. 

But the witches were doing fucking nothing, nothing compared to what you did with 4 layers of clothing, nothing compared to his reaction to seeing you in that sundress. “Fuck!” he whispered-screamed frustrated as he threw the magazine to the floor, it falling back into place under Peter’s bed. He let himself fall on it and stared at the ceiling. The fucking photo he knew was still in his pocket weighing like led, he imagined you moving around in it, he remembered how the dress hugged your perfect soft curves from the seconds glimpse he’d gotten at it and… he felt the rush of bIood flowing downward.

“Just this once,” he said to himself as if he really thought he’d be able to stop afterwards “Just this once,” he repeated as he shut the curtains around his bed, out of shame rather than a bigger need of privacy, “just this once…” he repeated as he pulled the picture from his pocket, the back was facing him, there was a small legend on it, written in elegant cursive handwriting, your handwriting. He brushed his finger over it as he read  “Neuschwanstein, Summer 1976”. So that was the name of the castle, he thought as he moved his other hand to his trousers. 

He didn’t turn the picture, not yet, he hoped his imagination would be enough, he hoped that if he didn’t actually look at the picture while doing it, he’d have the moral high ground. He also knew that that was all bullshit from his own head trying to justify his actions. He started rubbing his hand over his trousers, feeling how hard the thought of you had made him. The nude witches from the magazine hadn’t done half that, it had been you.

 “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath as he started rubbing, not taking himself out. Not yet, he had to engrave that picture of you deep in his brain before starting, as if it hadn’t been done the moment he spotted it on the floor of the library. 

He continued to rub until he was panting and he stood up, kneeling on the bed instead of sitting down, undoing his button and pulling both his pants and briefs down in a surprisingly swift motion. He was so hard, there was already a bit of precum coming from him. He took a deep breath and placed his hands around himself, he gulped when he did, and then reached forward, flicking his finger over his tip, spreading some of the warm liquid over it, but it wasn’t enough. He brought his hand up and spit on it, using that as a lubricant as he started to move his hand up and down along his shaft. Slow at first, trying to remember the way you looked, but the more he pumped, the foggier his brain got, it was like he couldn’t hold the picture of you in his brain. 

On the spur of the moment, he made a decision he thought he wouldn’t be doing that day, he really, really thought he had an ounce of self restraint until he gave up, and flipped the picture. “Fuck,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth when he saw you, he was fucking thankful the pictures couldn’t talk like portraits did. He continued to pump himself, panting as he started to thrust into his own hand instead. There was something about the movement of his hips that made it more real. He swallowed thickly as he stared at you, your dress rising ever so slightly as you twirled to see the castle behind you. It wasn’t even more than what he had seen when your skirt rode up, or what he had seen that day at the library but it was doing things to him regardless. 

He grabbed a pillow and placed it in front of him, settling the picture over it carefully, still staring at your beautiful smile as he continued to thrust “so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered in between pants, she’s so bIoody stunning, how is it even possible? 

His mind was filled with praises when he finally came, but he was so erratic, so sexdrunk that he didn’t even manage to catch his cum in his hand like he usually did, instead it spilled past his hands and onto the pillow he had placed in front of him, onto the photo. 

When Remus managed to regain a little bit of himself and he noticed what had happened he panicked “What have I done?” he wondered as he pulled the picture up and attempted to clean the sticky hot liquid with the sleeves of his sweater –it was like he had forgotten he was a wizard altogether– but instead of helping it only spread out even more, now being all over your chest. And that, that sent another rush down his body, his gaze darkened as he stared, lips parted, not believing what was going on. 

He looked down, the twitch on his cock hadn’t been his imagination, it had actually fucking happened “What the bIoody fuck!” he whispered as he went to pat himself again, he would be sore as fuck later that day, but he didn’t give a bIoody damn about it. Completely forgetting his initial worry, he went at it again, when he was done, he came even harder, over the picture again, but this time, it had been intentional. Something about ruining that dress made his brain tick. When he was done, he just let himself fall on the bed, face down, not caring to adjust his pants, only turning his pillow around so he wouldn’t be sleeping directly over his cum. 

As he laid down face looking to the side, he pulled the picture from the side and stared at it, he was fucking spent, and yet he felt his cock twitch yet again as he saw your figure covered in his seed. You were fucking stunning in that dress. He fell asleep like that. Pillow with cum underneath, half-naked, and with your cum filled picture standing right next to his face. 

When he woke up again, it was because he heard someone trying to open the door. He jolted awake, pulled his pants up and used his wand to clean the bottom of his pillow and some of his shirts, some of it was sticky, while other bits were just staining the sheets with a cloudy white stain. He pocketed the picture, the one he didn’t care to clean, and walked towards the door. 

“Remus?” Sirius asked when he opened the door “Why weren’t you in class today?” 

“I was feeling off,” Remus lied, standing right in front of Sirius and blocking his view of the bed. It was clean, really, but he had forgotten to undraw the curtains “Had a headache.”

“But we’re pretty far from that time of the month,” Sirius said casually, then he spotted the edge of the magazine under Peter’s bed, and Remus’ bed too, the one his friend had been so adamant to clock out of his view and he smiled “Should’ve told me,” he said with a smirk and pointed at the magazine “I’ve got better ones.” 

Remus gasped “No I didn’t… I didn’t use that,” he shut his own mouth and cursed under his breath when he realized what he had involuntarily admitted to doing.

“No problem,” Sirius said with a smile “I was starting to worry about you and your obsessive little crush.” Remus gave him a reproachful look, Sirius just ignored it “She’s in the common room, you know? She was worried about you.”

“She was?” 

“Said she was waiting for you at dinner,” Sirius responded with a shrug. Remus looked at his friend surprised and turned to the clock on the wall “It’s that fucking late?” 

Sirius nodded, and smiled as he saw Remus walk past him and towards the door again “Go get her lover boy,” he said as he waved Remus goodbye with a smile. 

That day, since you hadn’t seen him, you’d brought him food over, and the two of you had some snacks by the fire, you had leaned into him a little, craving his warmth since the night had gotten cold, even if it was already spring. He thought he’d be giving you your photograph back that day, but he just couldn’t, not while it was still stained with his cum, so the picture stayed. Safely in his pocket as you waved goodbye and walked up to your room with a soft smile on your face. 

The picture had almost become part of his routine, whenever he was feeling too uneasy around you, or turned on for that matter, he sneaked to a private place in the castle and took matters into his own hands. At first, he was shameful for it, cheeks burning as he stared at you, but the more he did it, the less shame he felt. 

Eventually though, he heard you talking to Marlene about having lost a photograph that you really liked, and that you would straight up kiss anyone who found it because you had to give it back to your mom, who said she’d get you a duplicate if you really wanted it. 

Remus felt terrible, he’d been using the picture to wank while you had been looking for it because you had to give it back? That night, he shut his curtains, used muffliato all over and he did it one last time –technically a couple of them– and fell asleep staring at the picture, trying to memorize it completely, especially the dried blotches of cum and how they looked over you. Fucking pervert, he thought as he finally used his wand to clean it up, leaving it like brand new. 

The next day, he approached you on your way to the library, “Hey little witch,” he said as he approached you. 

You loved it when he called you names, it made you feel special. You turned around trying not to grin, which was almost your automatic reaction to hearing his voice “Hey Rem,” you responded with a smile. 

“I’ve got something for you,” he said as he bit his bottom lip. 

You gave him a surprised look and approached him “You do?” He nodded. “What is it?” 

“I found something you were looking for,” he said as he pulled the picture from his pocket. 

“Remus!” you said, not bothering to hide your excitement “You found my picture,” you smiled “I was worried it’d end up in the wrong hands…”

Remus averted your gaze, yeah like mine, he thought, but then turned to you with a smile, he decided to tease you “And where is my reward?” he asked with a cocky smile, you looked at him puzzled. “Didn’t you say you’d kiss whoever found it?” 

You gave him a smile, not sure whether he was joking or not, but decided to oblige him, pulling him down by placing a hand on his shoulder and standing on your toes just a little before placing the smallest little peck to his cheeks “Thank you, my hero!” you said with a smile as you pulled away, a slight sarcastic tint to it. 

All thought he’d asked for it, he was not expecting for you to actually go through with it. He coughed a bit and smiled, pointing at the picture as he tried to regain composure “the dress,” he said, “it looks really nice, you should wear it more often.” 

And those words were all you needed for him to say, you knew you had a Hogsmade outing on the weekend, so no matter what, you’d have to find that dress. You had been rummaging through your bottomless trunk for at least an hour when Marlene finally turned to you, looking at the mess of scattered clothes all around, and noting your distressed little expression. 

“What’s wrong darling, you lost something?” she asked. 

“Sort of,” you said, “I’m looking for my dress.” 

“Your dress? Which dress?” she asked. 

You pulled the picture and handed it over to her. She took in her hands and gave you a low whistle “You look stunning, luv. Who do we want to impress?” 

Your head snapped towards her with a small gasp “Impress!?” 

Marlene just smiled “Come on,” she said, “you wouldn’t be looking for it so frantically if it wasn’t for the fact that you wanted to garner someone’s attention.” She sat on your bed and stared at you, head tilted “Is it Remus?” You flushed. “It is Remus!” she added excitedly. 

You shook your head as you sighed, not bothering to hide it from her and nodded “he found the photo, he said the dress looked good on me.” 

“Bet he did,” she said, diverted and leaned in closer to notice the slightly worn edges of the picture, she turned it around a couple of times before noticing a small rip. She shuddered and let the picture fall on the bed. Looking at you and the photo and then back at you with shock “How long did he have it?” 

You shrugged in response, still dipping your head inside your trunk and pulling piece after piece of clothing “Not sure, he said he found it and brought it over.” 

Marlene looked at you suspiciously, not daring to take the picture again, were you that naive? “How long was it lost?” 

“‘Bout three weeks or so, I think…” you said as if it didn’t matter now that you knew where the picture was “fuck, it’s nowhere!” you whined as you continued to throw pieces of clothing behind you.

“Honey I think he…” she shut herself. And looked back at the pic, not taking in her hands again. She frowned, trying to decide whether to tell you or not. 

“hmm?” you said, turning to her.  

“I think you’ll look stunning in it,” she said, opting not to tell you “Come on, let me help,” she said as she stood up and walked beside you, helping you dig through the trunk until you found it. It was better if you didn’t know what he had been doing with that picture. All though, knowing you like she did, you might have been turned on by the idea anyway.

She was the one who found it, she stood with it and helped you carefully hang it on the bed as she used a steamer spell to get rid of the wrinkles. All the while you were using some levitating spells to put all the clothes back on the trunk. You’d told her you’d make sure to clean it up later. 

The boys were already at “The Three Broomsticks” since they had promised to get in ahead of you to find a table. And you had promised Lily you’d go to the hair stylist with her. You weren’t there to get anything done, but somehow she convinced you to let them style your hair in a nice way. She thought a bit of extra magic would look really nice with your dress “So you can woe Remus.” she’d said. As Remus needed anything other than your sole existence to be wooed. 

When you were both done, her red locks were perfectly done up and cut, your own hair styled in a way that you looked just like a princess, the two of you finally walked towards the spot you always shared with the boys. Marlene, and Mary were already there. Marlene was talking about Quidditch with James and they were waiting for you to ask you some things before the next match in a couple of weeks while Remus and Sirius were talking about something else. 

Sirius was the one who spotted you come in through the door, and him being Sirius, whistled shamelessly, garnering the attention of every single person in the table, and even some from other people around them “Look at them go, you look stunning girls!” 

Remus was about to reprimand Sirius for his crassness when he turned to see you. And when he noticed exactly what you were wearing, his mouth went dry, a rush of bIood going straight down his body. He never expected to actually see you in that dress in real life. To him, it was like a dream, a fantasy, but now it was real, and it made him grow pale, and hold his breath as you walked towards them and he saw the fabric ripple around you as you walked. Is that a– the dress has a leg slit?, he thought as he stared, swallowing hard and trying to snap himself out of the trance. 

Marlene noticed, of course, she noticed. And she tried to hide a snicker, by drinking some water but ended up coughing instead. Remus, who had been sitting next to her, didn’t even notice, so she hit him lightly “asshole,” she said. He turned to her rather confused. “I almost choked?”  

“Oh… really? Didn’t notice… want me to get you a napkin?” He asked politely, his eyes turning to her only briefly before going to you and then back and forth. 

Marlene rolled her eyes “No need, ooze at your little witch instead.” She made sure to use the nickname he had given you in a rather mocking manner. 

He snapped his head towards her now, paying full attention “I wasn’t– I mean I…” 

Marlene just shook her head and stood up, a wicked little smile appearing on her lips as she grabbed your shoulders “Take my spot, will you?” She said with a smile “I’m going to the bathroom real quick, that way we don’t move everyone when I’m back.” 

“You sure?” you asked, catching the fact that she had been sitting next to Remus. 

“Positive,” she added with a smile as she basically pushed you next to Remus and took off. You turned to her with a reproachful stance but took a deep breath and turned your head back around, rising in your seat just a little bit as you tried to accommodate the dress. The slit and the harsh way in which she had pushed you inside the booth caused one side of the dress to dip behind your leg, exposing it completely. 

Remus noticed, and his gaze lingered just for a little bit before turning towards the front, glaring holes at the napkin holder as he tried to both think of a naked Dumbledore to cool down and etch the curve of your legs in his brain for later use. 

Sirius, the other person at the table who knew what was going on, was a nice enough friend to hand Remus a glass of cold water. When Marlene came back, she had brought over some Butterbeer for everyone, and Lily had stood up to ask for some snacks at the counter. Marlene had sat an awful lot closer to you than she needed when she came back, with one sole purpose, to press you into Remus. 

“Sorry,” You said, looking up at him when the girl laughed and you ended up shoulder to shoulder. 

He looked down at you, staring with the softness he always used on you and smiled “No problem darling.” 

Marlene smiled, and when she saw Frank and Alice she called them over “Sit with us guys,” she said with a wicked smile. Alice gave her a look, knowing she was up to something just by looking at her expression. So even if she originally planned a date with just Frank, she decided to pull him along. 

“I’ll go get a chair,” the boy said as he approached the table. 

“Don’t be silly, we all fit in here,” Sirius said when he figured out what Marlene was doing, “I’ll just sit on Prongs’ lap,” He said before the two of them accommodated, allowing Lily and to move over and subsequently for Mary to do the same, successfully making enough space for Alice to sit in there. 

Remus was throwing pleading looks at his friend when Mary spoke “Careful Lils, Sirius might steal your man.” 

She chuckled, “he can keep him for all I care,” she joked, James pouted in response. 

“I guess I can sit on Frank’s…” Alice started. 

“Don’t be ridiculous luv!” Marlene said “You’re our guest,” she said, “(Y/N) can sit on Remus’ lap.” You threw her a look, and she just gave you an expectant smile.  

“Well as long as it doesn’t bother you,” you said, turning to Remus who swallowed but shook his head. Sirius was holding his need to laugh when you kind of stood up and placed yourself over Remus’ lap. And he wanted to laugh because Remus’ face was just priceless. He had his eyes shut tight, and he might have also been holding his breath. Sirius just honestly hoped you didn’t find one of those surprises that Remus often had when you were around. 

“So, what were you planning guys?” Lily asked as everyone started to get comfortable. Remus had placed his hands on the table, close enough to yours so they were brushing against each other, it made you feel butterflies.

“We were just going to have dinner and then walk around a little bit. Alice wanted to restock on her strawberry gum before going back too.” 

“Yeah, we didn’t have any strong plans, what about you guys?” Alice added. 

“Well Zonko’s is our mandatory spot, but we went there earlier,” Sirius responded as he pulled one of the breads from the center and split it in two, “Want some?” he asked looking at you and you nodded and handed it over, then he turned back to Alice.

You took a bit of your bread to bring it over to your mouth and turned back to them “Lils and I went to the hair salon.” 

“So that’s why you both look so stunning,” Alice said, by then, Frank who had stood up earlier had brought back two other butterbeers, one for himself and the other for his fiancé.

You then turned to Remus, who you realized was grabbing onto the edge of the table “Are you okay?” you asked him, concerned. Freaking Marlene, she didn’t even consider Remus might be uncomfortable, you thought. 

The boy looked at you, focusing like he had been thinking of something else and nodded “Yeah sorry, don’t know what to do with my hands,” he admitted, pulling them slightly from where they were brushing against yours. 

You looked at him, and grabbed his hands in yours, pulling them towards your lap, not quite wrapping them around your waist, but almost “You can put them there, I don’t mind.” 

Remus gulped but nodded. He could barely stop thinking at the way you felt pressed against him. Your legs on top of his were already enough to drive him crazy, but now his hands on top of your legs? He had to grab the butterbeer and bring it up to his lips to cool himself down again, drinking about half the bottle in one go. 

You pulled another piece of bread to your mouth and realised he had been staring at your hands, mistakenly, you assumed it was because he was hungry, you grabbed another bit and hovered it just about his mouth “Want some?” 

Remus just leaned in and took the piece you offered him munching on it as he tried to concentrate on the flavour. Other than the fact that he was struggling not to make it obvious how turned on he was, he thought the domesticity you were showing was overly nice.

But then you leaned in to grab another piece of bread from the far side of the table, and the smell of your hair got all the way to him, and then he looked at your soft smooth looking back that was a lot more exposed than normally and he fucked up. 

When you leaned back in your place, you felt it. You almost gasped. But then realised that it must have been your imagination. Surely there was no way you leaning onto the table like that would garner such a reaction from him. Right?

Regardless, you were too curious to just let it slip by, so you repeated your action. This time you noticed his breath catch on his throat as he emitted the quietest little gasp you’d ever heard. And so when you went back to your spot, you just grabbed your bread and started munching on it as you tried to keep a straight, not completely surprised face. 

You thought about not moving at all for a while, so Remus could sort out whatever was going on by himself. Really, it would have been the merciful thing to do. To freeze in your place, let him cool down and pretend it never happened. Unfortunately for him –or perhaps fortunately– you had never been merciful, not when you were playing quidditch, not when you were destroying your opponent in magic chess and you certainly wouldn’t start then.

Besides, if he really had been turned on by you and not by some other external factor, then you doing what you were about to do might have been all the proof you needed to know if Remus actually liked you back. 

At first, you didn’t want to make it obvious. And pretended you hadn’t noticed his reaction to you, which had him relax, if ever so slightly. But then you leaned in again, this time to Lily, and you made a small little gesture with your hand to have her lean into you too, telling her something silly about the homework. Leaning back toward Remus and then repeating the same action while pretending you had forgotten to say something. 

When you went back to your place, you pressed yourself against the boy a little harder, smiling when you realised that it must definitely have been you the one causing such a reaction in Moony. Your resolve only solidified when you felt his hands – which were still lying atop of your tights, ball into tight fists, his whole body tightening under you, in fact. 

Still, the boy hadn’t noticed you were doing it on purpose and he hoped to the heavens you hadn’t noticed what was going on with him. The possibility that you thought what you were feeling was keys or something else in his pockets was at least comforting.

You smiled, almost wickedly as you thought of yet another excuse to roll your hips atop of his, “Please stop moving,” he whispered in your ears after he grabbed your arms and forced you to lean closer to him. 

“Am I too heavy? Sorry…” You said aiming to stand up but going back down a second later, pretending it had been accidental. Remus cursed under his breath, feeling like shit for being so turned on over you… just existing. 

“No, you– you were just squeezing my tight.” He said, voice rougher than usual. 

You revelled in the reactions you were getting from him. “Oh sorry,” you said and rolled your hips to the side, his breath hitched in his throat, “This better?” 

 “I-“ he started, not quite being able to emit a full sentence. 

You held a smile and tolled your hips to the other side “And this?” you asked, still in an innocent tone. 

“fuck…” 

You bit your lip to not smile, turning your body to him and leaning on one of his legs instead, placing your hand on his cheek “Are you okay?” you asked, fake concern laced in your words, he was too far gone to notice. 

“Yeah, sorry I just, I feel like I should… Perhaps I can…” 

“Want me to stand up?” You asked with a small pout “If I’m making you uncomfortable the just–” 

“–No!” he said a little too suddenly, “I’m fine, you’re fine, everything’s fine.” At least with your ass pressed only to only one of his tights, he was starting to relax again. Even if the slit of your dress had repeated its action from earlier and had your leg a lot more exposed than before. He noticed, and you noticed he noticed. 

And so, doing the boldest thing you had ever done in your life, you spread your legs open just a wee bit more, letting the slit fall further behind and letting your leg show just a tad more. Remus swallowed thickly as he stared “discreetly”, which just made your mouth dry. 

You then turned back to the front, since Peter had arrived with the food, fish and chips and some other casual dishes. You moved yourself again, this time facing the front and pressing your ass straight to his crotch. You didn’t care for pretending anymore, you wanted to see how far you could push him, so you rolled your hips against him once. Leaned down for a fry and then rolled them again, two times this time. 

Remus’ breath was heavy, he was looking at you in shock, at this point he was so hard there was no way you hadn’t noticed. He saw you lean forwards, your movement different from the first time you’d done it, you were perking your ass against him, and when you leaned back you rolled your hips three times, basically grinding onto him as you did. 

That’s when he realised, and the next time you leaned for a chip, he pulled his hands from your lap and wrapped them around your hips tightly before pulling you back onto him, harshly, making sure to press you against him in a way that made you gasp in shock, he leaned onto your ear “Thought I wouldn’t notice little witch?” he whispered. 

Your mouth went dry, you weren’t sure anything anyone had ever told you made you feel that turned on in your life. Still, you decided to continue playing your own little game “Whatever do you mean Rem?” you asked innocently, turning your head to him, feeling his hot breath against your cheek. 

He chuckled, tightening his grip on your hips before pushing you down onto him again “Stop pretending, or this won’t stop till I’ve had my fill.” 

Your eyes shone at the idea, you tried to roll your hips against his again but his grip was way too tight “Is that… a promise?” 

Remus chuckled again before forcing your hips to roll against him again, pulling his head in a bit of an angle so he could whisper in your ear without anyone realising it, “It was a threat, but you can call it whatever you like sweetheart.” 

You smiled wickedly “Then I still have no clue what you mean,” you replied with another of those innocent smiles of yours, while you pulled the dress a little bit higher. 

Remus held back a groan as he looked at you, teasing him like you didn’t know any better. Like you didn’t know how many dreams of railing you in that dress he’d had in the past couple of weeks. 

In the middle of your little rendezvous, Sirius noticed something was going on, it was in the way Remus was regarding you really, same stare the wolf used often, fucking famished.  “Hey Moons! Didn’t you say you had to go to the castle early for that potions project of yours?” he asked, eyeing Marlene. 

“Right, same one you’ve been working on, isn’t it darling? You should go together,” she said, turning to you. 

Remus shot a small little sneaky smile at Padfoot and nodded “You’re right,” Remus said calmly “Both of you,” he said giving each of them a look, and then turned to you, “shall we go?”

You gulped, eyes as dark as his own “Yeah, we should.” 

Frank, Marlene and Peter got off from the booth so you could both get out, you were the first one up and Remus followed, placing himself behind you so no one could see the tent in his pants, but also because he enjoyed pressing himself onto you a little too much. 

You pulled your wallet and took out a couple of bills, “Remus’ is on me,” you said with a smile. 

Sirius snickered when he thought, Well, he certainly will be. Which was rather similar to what Remus thought as his eyes darkened. 

“If I help you with your homework will you also be paying for my butterbeer?” James teased. 

You smiled “How many butterbeers do you owe me then Prongs?” 

He gasped at your bold little response and you waved at everyone with a smile. Remus had placed his hand on your neck, Thumb brushing against your spine as he turned the both of you around and prompted you to move forward. Once outside you saw a small little alleyway that seemed just dark enough for the two of you “Remus, look–“ 

“Not there,” he said, “too dark.” 

You turned to him a little surprised. “What? You want to do it out in the open then?” 

He leaned over “Little witch, I haven’t been dreaming of you in that fucking dress for weeks so we end up fucking in a dark little corner where I won’t be able to see it properly.” 

The shiver those words sent down your spine was unprecedented, that was until you realised exactly what he had said. Weeks? That must be a mistake. “Does that mean you had the photo for…” 

“Yes, weeks,” he confirmed, not even caring to hide it anymore. “It’s clean now, don’t worry,” he added. 

“What do you mean it’s…” the words died out in your mouth, you knew exactly what he meant “Remus!” you admonished, half shocked, half complaining, but totally turned on.

“Got a problem?! Don’t leave you’re fucking photos laying in the ground for anyone else to see.” He said, the fact that he was using such crass language, something he tended to avoid around you was proof enough of how out of control he was at the moment “Coud end in the wrong hands.” 

You looked around “Where are you taking me?” you asked when you noticed you were walking towards the forest. 

“To a place almost as beautiful as you,” he said simply. Your bIood rushed to your cheeks. Fucking Remus John Lupin, he had you and he had you bad, “you do trust me, right?” he added leaning into your ears. 

This was definitely revenge for what you had done to him back at the pub. You somehow managed to nod and he smiled. The two of you walked along the forest for a couple of minutes, until you saw some light, the darkness and trees opened into a small circle, there were small floating pollen spores that you could only see when the sun hit them right, and the shadows the tall trees cast on the ground made the entire place look like it was something out of a fairy tale. Even the air… it smelled of magic. Perhaps the fairies would fly away scared after the two invaded their home, terrified of the debauchery that was about to occur… or perhaps they'd see the two of you together, looking so merry, that they would dance and party along with you, from their small little nooks hidden inside the roots of the trees.

The beauty of the place made you almost forget why you were there all together. Almost. Remus had brought you closer to him, wrapping his fingers around your waist and pressing himself onto you. He was still hard. It hadn’t been a long walk but you assumed that… Well, perhaps you didn’t know shit about male anatomy, let alone werewolf anatomy. You pressed your hips against him and he stifled a moan. 

You turned around and placed your hand on his cheek again, echoing the action you had done at the pub, but this time using it to bring him down for a kiss. First, it was just a small little one on the side of his mouth, but as you were pulling away he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you back in. 

It started slow, he started slow. Like he was savouring every inch of your lips before pressing his tongue against them, you let your own part, and the two of them started dancing against each other. You tried to deepen the kiss, to make it faster, but Remus was slow and steady and demanding. He was not about to let you rush him through this. 

No, Remus Lupin had dreamed of this moment for way too fucking long to let you be fast and desperate about it. “Remus I…” you whined.

“Shhhh little witch…” he coed “We need to take our time, make sure you’re ready–“ 

“I am ready,” you said as you pulled his hand from your neck and dragged it towards your core, when his fingers brushed over your wet panties he could not stop the curse that slipped through his mouth. 

“So fucking wet already. And just for the kissing–” 

“No.” 

“No?”

“It’s been like that since the pub.”

Remus chuckled, diverted at your boldness before he stared at you, at the dress again. Half of him wanted to rip it apart to see all of you, but the other one, the one that had made him fuck himself into his own hands so many times, wanted you to keep it on. He wanted to fuck you in that dress until it was filled with grass and dirt and cum. He wanted to fucking ruin you. You weren’t making it easy for him to hold back either. 

You noticed the way he was staring and placed your hand on the back of the dress, starting to unzip it when he placed his hands over yours and dragged them away from it, pulling the zipper back up and whispering in your ear “Keep it on.”  It wasn’t a question, it was a command.

“What? But… you won’t be able to– Will it be enough?” 

Remus looked at you in disbelief, raising his eyebrows as he nodded towards the tent in his pants “More than fucking enough.” He pulled you back in towards him, gliding his hands down your tights and sliding one of them through the slit, “I didn’t know the dress had a slit when I was using it to get off,” he whispered, hot breath against your ear making you shiver, you were about to crumble onto him “I imagine I would have… let my imagination run wild with it.” 

“Let your imagination run with it now,” you replied and pulled on his hair to bring him back to your mouth. He groaned at the harsh movement, and you almost fucking melted into him after he made that sound. “Remus! You’re too tall,” you complained in between kisses and you pressed your hands onto his shoulders to bring him further down. He smiled onto the kiss, but allowed you to push him down until you were both kneeling on the soft mossy grass. He was still too fucking tall “sit.”

“Sit?” he asked diverted, raising an eyebrow teasingly. 

“Yes, sit,” you said again, pushing him on the chest just hard enough to have him tumble back, ass on the ground as he stared at you, amusement evident on his face. Of course, had Remus actually wanted to stay up, your small little blow to his chest wouldn’t have done shit, but he liked how desperate you were. 

He looked up at you, still on your knees as you looked back at him, eyes blown with lust “I like it when you take charge like this,” he joked. 

You scoffed diverted “Shut the fuck up Moony, I’ll–“

“Make me,” he interrupted you, brattily. 

How many fucking romance novels had this boy read? “I’m sorry?” 

He just smiled wider, he knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what he was doing to you and he was getting a kick out of it. “I said… make me.” 

You wanted to scoff, but instead, you climbed on top of him pressing yourself against his cock and leaning in for a kiss, but not allowing your lips to touch. It’s what he wanted, really. You knew because you had probably read those same novels. Instead, you rocked your hips into his, and he gasped. Remus leaned in to kiss you but you pulled back and brushed your cheeks through his as you leaned over to whisper in his ear, rocking your hips against his once more before speaking “You were saying?” 

His mouth went dry, he was not expecting so much push and pull with you, he almost always imagined you as a little bunny he would ruin, but it seemed like you were as much of a wolf as he was, which was somehow even better, hotter, it made his whole fucking body feel like it was on fire, which was exactly what you were feeling as you felt his crotch rub straight against your wet panties. The friction making you feel things you didn’t consider possible. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, which only furthered your conviction “Darling if you-“ he groaned as you ground against him yet again “keep this up, I’m not gonna– not gonna last,” he somehow managed to get out. 

“Then stop me,” you said with a wicked smile. Remus pulled you back, to stare at your face, you still had that expression and he quirked one of his eyebrows. “Must I repeat myself?” 

Remus scoffed, biting his lips when he felt you roll your hips against his again, which got a hiss in return. When he was sure you were okay with it, he placed his hands on your hips and pulled you back on his legs, just enough so you wouldn’t be able to continue grinding against his crotch. And then he lifted you up with remarkable ease before laying you on the mossy grass floor. 

Your hair sprawled around your face, your cheeks were flushed and your eyes so blown with lust they almost looked black, he wasn’t sure you’d ever looked prettier in his life. He hovered over you and you opened your legs for him, pulling them up to try and chase his, but he pulled them back, you gave him a desperate pout. Which made you look even more adorable. 

Remus placed one of his hands on your hips to hold them down and brought the other one to your legs, he was taking his sweet time as he brushed it over your leg, savouring the feeling of your soft skin against his hands, pressing lightly as he brushed over your calves and brushing your inner thigh with utmost care, you felt like you were at the common room all over again. The recurrent dream you had coming back to you in an instant.

“Remus,” you whined, as you tried to push your hips up only to be stopped by his dextrous hands. You heard him chuckle, voice hoarse still. 

“Let me enjoy the view darling, you don’t know how pretty you look right now.” 

“Well, enjoy while touching,” you said, pulling the dress as far as you could and placing your hand over the one on your hips to bring it down to your core. 

There was no shame in your movements, there was no fear, you’d let him touch you wherever he wanted and that made Remus’ cock twitch in his pants “Perhaps you shouldn’t be putting so much trust in a wolf’s hands…” he said as he rubbed his thumb over your wet underwear. Failing to keep up his smug grin when he realised just how wetter you’d gotten them, the small little surprise eased a smile on his face. And since you were looking so attentively at it –at his beautiful, perfect, licentious face– you noticed. 

Deciding to tease him further you rolled your hips against his thumb, feeling the way the rest of them pressed against the top of your slit, warm and kind, even as they pushed you back down again with relatively strong force “Maybe you’re just a sheep in a wolf’s skin,” you whispered breathlessly. 

“Isn’t that saying meant to be the other way around?” 

You started to laugh, easily being shut up by his thumb sliding to the side and back again, this time dipping inside your panties and rubbing through your hole “Shit,” you breathed. 

Remus smiled, realising how much you whimpered when one of his scars brushed against your clit. He tortured you with it for a few seconds before he pressed his thumb against it, earning a gasp from you. “A sheep in a wolf’s skin, eh?” he asked as he loomed over you, one hand still on your clit and the other one to prompt himself up, looking at your elated little face, and the microexpressions you made whenever he did something right.

You managed to somehow regain back focus, just enough to smirk in between a moan, “just a sheep,” you repeated. And he inserted a digit against you. You gasped again. 

But he was just as shocked as you were, “So tight,” he whispered, “It’s not going to fit…” he said more to himself. You pushed your hips against his finger, wanting to feel some fiction. 

“It will,” you reassured “Please Remus…” you begged then.

He almost came there and then. You were pleading for him to continue, fucking pleading. He complied. He started moving his finger inside and out, careful and soft at first, like he didn’t want to hurt you, keeping his eyes trained on your face to make sure you were okay as he dug deeper inside you. Your face was dazed in pleasure, almost too far gone when you felt another finger. 

You frowned, and he stopped moving “Hurts?” he asked concerned laced in his tone. 

You took a deep breath “No… just, give me a second…” You said as you tried to adjust to the feeling.  After just a couple more seconds, it was you who was pushing against his fingers. You hadn’t even realised when he had pulled his thumb and replaced it with his index and middle finger, but they were longer, and they reached places they hadn’t done before. You only figured it out when he started rubbing circles against your clit like he had done at first. 

And you moaned his name as he picked up the pace. The pleasure was so big you didn’t even realize he was actually preparing you, slowly moving his fingers as he rubbed and trusted so he could stretch you out, so he could actually fuck you the way he wanted. 

He reached a point you hadn’t even managed to reach yourself ever before and you bit your lips so hard you drew bIood, he figured it out in a second and continued to rub against the spot until he had you wrapping your hands around his tightly, he knew you were close, so he smiled and continued pumping even as you tried to reduce the friction, which had you coming undone after a couple of seconds. Your breath was ragged, your hands loosened as you lost yourself to the pleasure. He helped you down from your high, still pumping his fingers in and out, slower now, almost painfully slow. 

When he finally stopped, he pulled them out slowly and then brought his fingers straight to his mouth, and the guttural moan that escaped his lips when he wrapped them around his fingers and tasted set you ablaze yet again.  You reached your hand for his crotch and started grazing your delicate fingers against him. He was still looming over you, and you smiled when his stance faltered. 

You went straight to the button of his dress pants, and then pulled the zipper down, pressing your hand over his briefs, and you finally understood why he thought it wasn’t going to fit. Your fault for falling in love with such a tall boy. You heard him whimper above you and it only made your resolve strengthen, you pulled your hands inside his briefs now. When he felt your hands around him, not his rough hands- but your soft, small hands, around him he crumbled into you, his face buried into the crook of your neck as you stroked him. 

You were soft, and kind to him, at first… But you started picking up the pace when he pressed his mouth to your neck and started sucking against the soft skin, and against your collarbone, and then further enough to reach to the valley of your breasts. He looked up at you, lust filled his eyes as he leaned his cheek into your chest but he did nothing. 

You were almost too far gone to realise he was asking for permission, but he used his mouth to nudge the string that tied the section that gave the “milkmaid dress” its name and you instantly understood what he wanted. You nodded and he used his mouth to pull the small little bow you had made earlier undone.  Using the now-added space to trail his mouth to the valley of your breasts. You tightened the grip around him when you felt his hot breath against your nipples, and you did it again when you felt his mouth wrapped around one of them. 

“fuck,” You whispered. He hummed in response, his own moans being drowned out by your soft skin, as he licked and sucked and nipped to his heart’s content. But then you did something that almost got him over the edge, and he bit your soft skin almost a little too hard. You had moved your hand up and had started to rub his tip. You might have known shit about male anatomy, but if books had taught you something, it was that, that was the most sensible part of a man’s cock. From his reaction, it was just the same for a werewolf. 

“Okay, that’s enough!” he said roughly as he pulled your hand off him and pushed it over your head, taking the other one somewhere along the way and keeping them both in place with one of his own. He was still accommodating one of his hands to carefully hold both of yours down when you chased your hips against his. He gave you an impassive look and you just repeated the action again, a teasing smile dancing on your lips. He narrowed his eyes at you and you had the nerve to shrug innocently in response, or at least attempt a shrug, since both of your hands were still stretched over your head. 

He chuckled at that, shaking his head as he used his free hands to tug your underwear down. The cold caused you to shiver, but it didn’t last long, he was already rubbing himself into your entrance. The feeling made you quaver, you were desperate to have him, but you also understood what he was doing. He was coating himself in your slick. 

After a few more thrusts to your slick and he lined himself against your entrance. When he was ready, you pulled your hips up and his tip slewed over you and graced your already sensitive clit, you did it again, but then he pushed you down, hands digging into your flesh as he set your hips back on the grass, giving you a warning look. 

You smiled teasingly and attempted to do it again, but his hands were digging against your pelvis and you barely managed to squirm under him, “please just fuck me,” you said with a pout. 

“I was about to do that when you decided to tease,” he responded, a fake annoyance laced in his words. You let out a sigh but you felt him line against your entrance again. Your breath hitched in your throat and stopped squirming, allowing him to move his hand from your hips to guide himself inside. 

He was slow and didn’t go all the way in at first, paying close attention to your face as he slid inside, breath heavy “You’re so fucking tight,” he whispered. You were panting as well, but managed to bring your hips up to help him bury more of himself inside you, he gasped, and dug his hands back on your hips, forcing you to still. Fucking Remus and his fucking werewolf strength, you thought as you attempted to writhe. 

Remus was damn thankful he had played so many scenarios in his head as he touched himself, he wasn’t sure if he would have lasted half as long as he had if he hadn’t already pictured you in so many different ways. But even with so many, he hadn’t expected you to be so damn tight. When you kept squirming, he jerked forwards, dipping himself entirely inside you. 

You moaned, your face in that mix of pleasure and pain he hadn’t yet managed to decipher “You okay?” he asked to your ear, his voice a mix between a whisper and a groan. 

You nodded and clenched around him in response, he cursed under his breath. He wasn’t sure if he wasn’t moving because he was letting you adjust, or because he was trying not to instantly cum. You just felt so fucking good.

He could feel you breathing under him, your belly rising and falling almost alongside his, and he closed his eyes, just enjoying the feeling of being so close to you, so impossibly close. But you weren’t as patient. You hadn’t had as much practice with your own hand like he had, and you were desperate for him to move again. You tightened your muscles one more time. He cursed under his breath, and then you tried squirming under him. 

“Please, little witch,” he begged, he wasn’t sure what exactly he was begging for, when his head decided to cooperate he managed to speak again, still in your ear “let me adjust.”

You squirmed under him again “adjust while fucking me.”

He bit his lip, pulled back slowly and thrusted back in with a lot more strength, you gasped, but relished on the feeling of him finally moving “Such a crass language my luv,” he said in between another of those harsh trusts. You were squirming under him again, this time it wasn’t on purpose. You pulled your hands under his sweater, you wanted to feel his skin. 

He faltered at that, like it was a part of him he didn’t want you to see, let alone to feel, but when your fingers started brushing over one of his scars, in such a fucking adoring way, he couldn’t help but melt into you, he was sure he’d let you do whatever the hell you’d wanted to him. 

You started bucking your hips against his, meeting his rhythm as best as you could, he was still being mindful of you as he continued his thrusts, too scared to hurt you. It was only when you fastened your pace that he did the same. 

You whined his name, a little more desperate now, he knew you were close but he wasn’t sure the angle was enough for you, so he leaned closer “Would you,” thrust “mind it if I–” thrust “flipped you around?” 

You wrapped your hands around his hair, letting them roam over him as you brought him over for a sloppy kiss, he instantly knew that was your answer. He took you out of him, you chased your hips back to his almost unwittingly, and you saw his resolve falter, but he got it back as quickly and used his strong hands to wrap them around your hips and flip you around. You had your face against the grass, turning your neck to try and see what he was doing when he took off his sweater. 

He leaned over you, you could feel his cock pressed against your ass, but he was carefully bunching the soft fabric, raising your head with his hand and cautiously placing it under your head. Fucking sheep in the skin of a wolf, you thought, he’s too freaking kind. 

You were still nursing that line of thought when you felt him thrust against you again, a lot harsher now, you straight up moaned at that, and he smiled as he continued his thrusts, in and out, until you were mindlessly pushing yourself against him again. You felt one of his hands slide in between your thighs, he started rubbing circles to your clit, repeatedly. You were losing yourself to him. To his hips thrusting into yours with a lot more force, to his heavy breaths and panting, to every moan and gasp and whimper and groan he emitted. They all sounded so beautiful to you. 

He continued rubbing, he was determined to make you come at least a couple of times, he had come enough to your photo, he wanted to return the favour. He realised your hips were chasing his skin and he took off the soft cotton shirt he was still wearing when he leaned over and placed his hand around your waist, pulling you up to his chest. 

You let your head fall against his shoulder as he continued thrusting, you weren’t sure you’d be able to form a coherent sentence even if you tried, so you just leaned in and placed sloppy kisses on his jaw, or to the section of it that you had access to now. He heard you moan when he quickened the pace of his hands on your clit, the other one still tightly around your ribs pushing you flush against him. 

The feeling of his skin against your back was immeasurably perfect, you almost wished you could take off your dress to feel more of skin against you. You supposed it’d have to be for another time. You whined when he brought you to your climax yet again, the way your muscles clenched around him making him almost feral, he leaned in closer to you, “I’m going to…” he groaned into your ear. 

“You can, inside if–“ 

“–No.” 

“No?” you asked in confusion. He pulled you off of him and laid you back on the ground, still leaning over you when the first spurt of white warm liquid came out of his cock. You were still hazed, mind foggy and muddled from your orgasm but you realised what he wanted, and smiled reassuringly “It’s okay, I can buy another one.” 

Remus groaned, letting his hand fall next to your head as he leaned in and continued to pump the rest of himself over you, over the dress. When he was finally done, he was so tired he wanted nothing more than to let himself fall over you, but he pulled back a little, still panting, but wanting to appreciate the mess he’d made. 

You smiled at him, biting your lip, as you saw his lustful expression, your dress was coated in him, his sweat, and yours causing it to cling awkwardly to some part of your skin, but he absolutly loved it. He loved that he could practically smell himself on you, mixed in between the earthy and mossy aroma of the fores,t and the smell of sex. There was some cum near your breast, some over the left side of your waist, and some just over your entrance, that was still exposed to him. You looked even better covered with his cum than he imagined you would. 

“Fucking gorgeous, wish I could take a picture,” he mumbled. 

You smiled, pulling him to crash onto you, he complied, leaning his head against your chest like he had done earlier, you started brushing your fingers over his hair, especially the back of his scalp, he almost purred into your chest when you started scratching softly. 

“You can keep one around the next time…” you whispered “but I’ll be taking some as well.” 

He chuckled at your boldness, yet again. After what seemed like too little time but must have been close to an hour of the two of you just cuddling in the grass, you both knew you had to go back. So you stood up, Remus cleaned your dress with a swipe of his wand, almost lamenting the way his cum disappeared from it, but it had been pulled and dragged regardless. He wasn’t sure you’d be able to fix it. 

“Here put this on,” He said, passing you his sweater over your arms. 

You smiled as he bent back the sleeves to fit you better. And then he passed his fingers over your hair as if he was trying to make you look less sex drunk. You bit your lip “Do I not look like I’ve been railed to the heavens by a werewolf anymore?” 

He chuckled, letting his hand linger on your cheek, “Thought I was a shep.” 

“Hmm… You are, sometimes.” He smiled at your answer, and at your teasing smile. He stared at you for a second, he realised he was so unbearably in love with you it was absolutely insane. He wondered if you liked him a similar amount, judging by your reactions earlier, you might have.  

When you leaned over to get your panties, which had been discarded somewhere over the grass, he beat you to it. You expected him to pass them over but instead, he pulled them to his face, giving them a sniff before placing them in his pocket. “Remus!” you admonished. 

He shrugged, “It’s an exchange, you keep the sweater,” he responded with a rather dismissive wave of his hand. 

“I never agreed to– bedsides, you're the one that ruined the dress!” 

“And you’re the one that ruined the knickers, your point is?” 

You scoffed, diverted at his answer and rushed towards him to try and get your underwear from his pocket but he veered off your grasp with ease, “Remus!” you said in between a snigger “You can’t expect me to go back to the castle all commando…” 

He shrugged, “It'd be easier to go for another round if you did.” 

You bit your lips in disbelief, and he wrapped his arms around yours, pulling you to start walking “Come on, hopefully, you’ll look less sex drunk by the time we’re back in the castle.” 

“Speak for yourself,” you said as you pulled his jaw in between your hands to see his face better “You’re still all flushed.” 

He shrugged “how could I not be? I have my arms around the prettiest little witch in the entire universe.” 

You were sure you were the most flushed between the two after he said those words. 

A/N: Did this one get out of hand in the length? Maybe... Do I love the final result? I definitely, definitely do. Remus and Reader's teasing and banter is my favourite thing ever. The Five Senses was born as a way for me to practice writing smut for my brand new Wolfstar x Reader series that's currently being posted on a weekly basis. If you have feedback, please leve it in the comment below. I absolutely love reading your comments <3

Taglist: @lillysanura @sofiacblair @noommoon69 @cassie-love20 @starchaser-lily @maristaken @folklorev

Leave a comment stating if you wanna be tagged on The Five Senses

Want to support me? Consider commenting, liking and reblogging this post.

Raead more Marauders Fiction

The Five Senses Masterlist

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.66)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Wolves always go for the throat, whether they’re cornered or hunting.

Tags: Blood, Guns, violence, near death experiences, everyone lives nobody dies...but someone does die this chapter, horror, non-lethal injury, talks of death and dying, a bit of body horror, Trans! tae, Tae is briefly dead named in this, implied/referenced intimate partner violence, flashbacks, brief suicidality.

W/c: 8.3k

A/N: ahhhhhh <3 we're finally ready for this part of the story <3 i wonder what your guys reactions will be, i'm really glad i decided to split this chapter into two peices! it's much cleaner this way. don't be 🥲 too mad at me.

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

(Four years prior, Hoseok)

Today is the day that Hoseok will meet his future pack, he just doesn’t know it yet.

It always feels like a bit of betrayal but the worst and best days of your life often come close together. Maybe just for contrast. A bit of good in the bad. A slice of cake in a feast of raw meat.

This starts as just another bad day in a long stretch of shitty days. The kind of days were anxiety bubbles up and how afraid you are is all you can think about. Taking one breath and then another like just staying alive means you're guaranteed to get better.

The only place to go from rock bottom is up, and hoseok's sneakers are firmly on the concrete, standing outside of the record store in the rain with no place to go.

Hoseok has been afraid for a long time. He can't really remember even if he thinks hard, the last morning he woke up not afraid.

What hoseok really needs is a day off, but he really can't fucking afford it. He can't afford anything- certainly not a one-bedroom apartment on his own. If he's really really lucky maybe he'll be able to find a closet room somewhere that will cost almost his whole paycheck. Because after today-

After today, Jung Hoseok will be homeless, packless, and alone. His pack dropped the news on him last night…or well ex-pack.

He doesn’t expect that he’ll be moving into the pack's house on this rainy day, he doesn't expect that by the end of the week, he won't be worrying about where his next meal will come from because Jin will be there with it ready. Jimin sometimes too.

He won't be worrying about where he'll sleep because the bed in their spare room that smells like tae tae tae will be his. He'll roll around in it when the door is closed, shy about it because Hoseok has never liked other alpha's scents so much before. And when he comes home and Jungkook has made a nest in it, it will feel like a bit of an impossible silver lining, a bit too much- to have an omega making him a nest, making something special just for him

It takes three weeks for Namjoon to make him a house key for himself. After he gets left outside in a very similar storm to this. The doctor will touch his cheek, thumbing at the dimples that they share. how special is it that each smile gets cradled like a crescent moon? the heavens have left imprints on both of their skin. Freckles for stars and dimples for moon's.

"I don't want you to get sick pup."

"People don't get sick from wet heads anymore hyung."

"They don't. But I want to keep you dry and comfortable in my den. i know you still want to look for apartments but...what if you didn't?"

But neither the weather nor Hoseok knows to prepare for good news. Right now the heavens open up and release its deluge, thick rain the way that only happens at the start of summer. Worms and other wriggly things crawl their way out of their holes to find a good spot to die next to Hoseok's shoes. Worn fancy sneakers that his pack-omega had gotten him a few months ago for their anniversary. They're the nicest thing he's ever owned.

His ex-pack omega.

It's hard to rewire your brain, especially for alpha's. Hoseok is a lone wolf. He hasn't been without a pack in so long, it feels weird to not have someone to call, someone he needs to trail after and cling to. He checks his phone but he doesn't have a single notification from them.

He doesn't have a single notification from anyone.

Hoseok is glad he doesn't feel his instincts as keenly as other alphas do. Otherwise, he might be inclined to gnash his teeth at the people who pass by him on their way to work, umbrellas almost bumping him, perceiving even closeness as a threat. So vulnerable without a pack (lone alphas are always the first to starve in winter).

Hoseok shivers even though its summer, he's soaked to the bone after a few minutes.

He has a key to the record store. He could go inside. Granted- he should be inside already. Opening up shop, making coffee, and letting the place warm up. But standing out in the rain feels too much like penance.

Hoseok likes the rain. The smell of it. The way it makes the whole world ache and go still. He feels every drop on his dark hair, soaking through his thin hoodie. It's cleansing almost, letting the rain soak him through.

(The end of relationships is always hard, let alone the end of abusive relationships, they’re downright terrible).

Hoseok keeps replaying their words in his head, with every slosh of a nearby car, every honk of a taxi. The stoplight red and green bleeding onto the wet concrete. Yellow flashing in contrast with hoseok's dark memories.

“You’re welcome to stay here until the lease runs out, but the four of us need to move back home. You understand Hobi don’t you? We’re just omega’s- we’re just girls- and we think this could be a clean break for all of us. We just don't want to lead you on any longer.”

The worst part is that Hobi had sort of known, had sort of already realized what was happening. he’d seen it in their looks; distant and despondent. Their touches that did not linger longer than necessary, cheeks turned as he comes in for a kiss. The phone calls hushed in the other room that cut off abruptly when he entered.

The lease on their apartment ends today. The place has already been professionally deep cleaned and Hoseok's things are packed in his car in plastic bins. He has 6 of them to his name.

He doesn’t have a place to go yet, he might just sneak into the back room at the record store and sleep there until he figures something out. Hoseok drove to work early because he didn't have another place to go.

This version of Hoseok is not the one you know, this version of Hobi is 23 and hopeless, can’t think about moving back in with his parents a city away, with nothing but a rusted-out Corolla that barely gets him to work let alone through the 200-mile trip. It will die on him in about 6 months and Namjoon will be thankful that Hoseok no longer is driving around in a deathtrap.

He hadn’t even gotten this job by himself, his pack omega- his ex-girlfriend had gotten him this job almost 4 months ago after his last one didn’t pan out. Temporary work for temporary people.

Nothing feels like his. Not his body and certainly not this job.

Hoseok hasn’t smoked in months, but something that feels an awful lot like self-disgust worms under his skin and he can’t resist. Not today of all days. Smoking is something that he doesn’t indulge in often, and hasn’t indulged in since… becoming an alpha to someone. But he guesses it doesn’t matter now without anyone to complain that they don’t like the smell.

The cigarette mixes with the smell of petrichor and Hoseok’s own acidic scent. The smell of a terrified alpha draws him more than a few looks but he pays them no mind. He's thankful for his soaking face, at least the rain keeps out the tears. Cool and soothing against his face.

Hoseok just wants- Hoseok just wants to call them. To talk to someone.

Ending relationships is always like this. You want to keep being good, keep being what they want, but that’s impossible. You can’t act or behave right and dupe someone into loving you. Sometimes the love just isn’t there. (A smaller shyer voice says it was never love at all, you can't possess love, only be given it and Hoseok feels like a cast aside possession. Love and abuse cannot coexist).

Hoseok should have known. He keeps replaying the moments in his head. He’d seen them exchanging knowing looks when they thought he wasn’t looking.He thought he was just being paranoid, until yesterday morning when they’d taken him aside.

“You knew this had to end one day Hoseok" "You knew one day we'd move on." "As much as we appreciate what you’ve done for us, we think it’s time for us to move on.”

“What do you mean? I thought we were leaving next week, you really left me with only a day to find a place to go?”

“We’re sorry Hoseok, your last rut was just too much to deal with. We think it's best if we just stay on our own. It's a clean break this way.”

"Wait, please- I love you."

"We know. We're sorry."

Hoseok is too much for anyone to deal with. He doesn’t call his friends (he hasn’t met up with any of them or returned their texts in months thanks to several pointed words from his pack omega). He doesn’t go inside yet because he deserves the rain. He sits out front of the record store, smoking a cigarette that will probably end up killing him down the line, and thinks Good.

He tells himself the irritation in his eyes is just because of the cigarette smoke blowing in his face, even though he knows it's not. He's not even inhaling right because his breaths come all hitched and pathetic. Anyone would be sad if their relationship of several years had ended. Anyone would be devastated.

Hoseok checks his phone again. Nothing.

Most people on the crowded street ignore him. Though the thick throng of people going about their business, probably going to work at their 9 to 5 jobs that pay enough to afford apartments and packmates. Hoseok is the one soul that stands stationary.

Until one, someone a few feet back stops, tipping their face through their hood to look at him. The only other person without an umbrella.

Hoseok knows his face and his name. It’s just Min Yoongi- his coworker and sort of friend who's coming in for his shift. Hoseok doesn't love Yoongi yet but they're sort of friends already. They might be better friends if Hoseok could get over his admiration and jealousy.

Yoongi has this way of quietly taking care of the people around him. He picks up Hoseok's jacket when it slides off the hook at work, asks him if he wants coffee and even pays for it when he goes to the coffee shop next door. He compliments Hoseok's music tastes when it's his turn to play something, he gives Hoseok the aux frequently in a way that feels a little bit like flirting.

The only two good things about Hoseok's job are the music and Min Yoongi.

He even laughs at Hoseok's shitty jokes when they're stacking new inventory saying cryptic things like "they can't be worse than my omega's jokes."

That's why Hoseok's jealous. Yoongi gets packmates, five of them who make him lunch even when he's only got a four-hour shift. that often linger outside to walk him home or pick him up in their shiney not new not old cars.

(Yoongi's packmates certainly have better things to do than send Yoongi to work with a second packed lunch. "Jin-hyung caught a glimpse of you through the doorway, the only thing that he hates more than Namjoon's snoring is skinny Alpha's.")

Min Yoongi has that look that people do when they're well-loved by packmates. Hair ruffled and neck dotted with bruises that might as well be mating bites for a beta. Beta's don't mate, but these ones certainly keep him close. He wears their scents like a shield. Sometimes so thick that Hoseok can't even smell any of his chocolate scent.

Right now, staring at Yoongi a few paces into the street, all Hoseok can smell is the rain.

When Hoseok had been introduced to him it had felt strange just by virtue of Yoongi's sub gender. A beta? Working somewhere so normal? Weren’t beta's supposed to be like- financial advisors or assistants to the president or something? Betas are supposed to have more important jobs than pushing vinyl and bumping Hoseok's shoulder playfully.

(Hoseok hasn’t seen it yet, the way that the owner hands over little white baggies to people who come in looking hungry for a high that cigarettes or alcohol can’t fix. Hoseok hasn’t yet realized that the record store isn't just a record store. This is just one front business of many that the family has organized across this city and the country for distribution of some of his most precious inventory). Yoongi has worked her for the last year, takes calls in the back for the family. The owner only bows to him when Hoseok's not around.

They only hired hoseok for tax purposes. Having three employees looks less suspicious than just two.

The beta looks concerned, and Hoseok knows he can’t hide the fact that he’s been crying as the beta steps up and pushes Hoseok back under the awning. Out of the rain and into the warmth of the doorway. This kind of movement would make any alpha snap, but not Hoseok. Hoseok just tucks his chin down and starts to cry.

“Oh Hoseok.” Hobi sniffles, and wipes his runny nose on his sleeve. Yoongi's hand curls against his throat, chocolate scent spiking to soothe. “You’re soaking wet."

Yoongi grabs his wrist and Hoseok almost keens at the gentle touch. Whole body shaking, shoulders curling in Yoongi's direction. Yoongi’s lips press into a thin line and then tugs him inside.

~-~

(Now, You)

You hold your breath. Still peering around the corner, watching and waiting for the man to spot you.

But he doesn't, after a breath where his soft footsteps echo, you wait, but nothing happens. You peak back around the corner.

You absorb and catalog the details as fast as you can; the black ski mask, covered by one of those traditional Korean masks, wooden with red lacquer. This one is a little different than the one that Jimin had; not twisted with thick eyebrows in a snarl. This one is white with red splotches on the cheeks, like a ghost sent down from above to rob you of your humanity.

The bulletproof vest stops at the collarbones. The gun itself is a black generic model. The long end is extra bulbous with something that might be an attached silencer. His hands covered in black nitrile gloves, leathery at first glance. There is a knife at his waist along with a barrage of other small things; rope and a knife, duct tape and handcuffs. His heavy boots look steel toed and reinforced.

The man (because it is a man you realize; tall, maybe taller than Namjoon) trains his gun at the landing on the top of the stairs. Pointing it in the direction of Hobi, Tae, and Jin’s hushed voices.

Hobi giggles and it sounds so bright. Echoing off the walls and filling the house with his musical laughter.

There is a phone cord tangled in your hands, long and white. You grip it tight.

This man might be silent but you’re quieter as you slide your bare feet across the smooth floors. Your strides are so quiet. You take one step and then another until you're behind the man, mirroring him.

You remember when Yoongi redid the floors, it was one of the few things that he did right away; before the pack came to live here (to love here). It took him weeks and weeks of sanding before he got them to his liking. Days more of brown dark stain that colored his hands ruddy until the soft matte finish stuck. Every pass with the belt sander and dirty rag a movement of love, a meditation for it.

Yoongi made every inch of this house with the same loving intent; to make it a home for all of you. a place to be safe and nurse your wounds and hearts. You won’t let it become a grave. You won’t let this person stay here and ruin it.

Most people get it wrong; In order to kill it is not a matter of elegance or effort. There is no such thing as a perfect kill either. Emotionless and analytic isn't enough and being justified only gets you halfway. There is no way to do it cleanly. People die just as they live, messy and hopeful and dirty.

Murder isn't a matter or wanting or wishing, It’s a matter of rage.

It’s always been this way. Rage has been chewing a hole through you from the moment that you pulled the trigger with Geumjae. From the moment you said ‘I do’. Rage that these violent things have been done to you, that they continue to happen, that you can’t just get away from all the hurt and trauma.

Rage has eaten you clean through to the bone. Rage has made you skinny and starving, rage has made you timid and fragile. But now you're the hungry one. Right now, only three words run through your head;

How dare she.

How dare she send this man into your house. How dare she point a gun at the upstairs, in the general direction of your nest and your packmates. The altar at which you so desperately cling to, for sweet dreams and sweeter worship (There is no deity above the god of love, not even death. Death cannot take the love from your chest, someone dying does not make you stop loving them).

How dare she even think about hurting the people you love.

There is no courage, no bravery, no thought in your head about how stupid it might be as you step closer behind the man. You are not a trained assassin. You’re just an omega.

The adrenaline rush is an old friend, a thrall both intoxicating and unnerving. Your heart beats loud in your ears. You grip the phone cord in your hands and take a quiet steadying breath. He doesn't see you, he doesn't hear you, he doesn't know that you're behind him.

Wolves always go for the throat, whether they’re cornered or hunting.

The assassin’s foot ascends the bottom step. You don’t let him get to the second before you’re moving, hurtling forward. Footsteps no longer light. Your hands go over the man’s shoulders. The cord no more than a white flash across his vision before you draw it tight across his neck.

The pain and panic are instant as you’re suddenly tethered to a six-foot-four assassin and struggling to stay on your feet as he stumbles back. You’re pulled off your feet and down the stairs, but you keep it as tight as you can and you don’t let go. Fighting to keep your makeshift garrote tight as he scrambles to get his fingers around where it digs into his skin. Spluttering loud.

The hard wire digs, cutting easily through plastic and then your skin as he tries to pull you off. You don’t let go until he backs you into the entryway wall and slams you against it with a dizzying clang of bone and body hitting something solid. Your head narrowly avoids one of the hooks that the pack hangs their coats on. An inch to the left and he'd have impaled your skull on it. An inch to the left and you'd be dead.

A single inch.

His head slams into your face, and you feel something in your nose pop, flooding your mouth with blood so thick you choke.

He slams you against the wall once, twice, and then a third time until your grip goes slack and slippery with blood. It knocks the breath out of you, and he finally throws you off. You both fall to the ground like stones. Both of you gasp and struggle for breath. At least one of your ribs it broken, but because of the adrenaline you can't even feel it.

When the man lifts his black gloves to his throat, they come away glossy with blood.

(It’s crazy how you never notice the change from the day to day, one day you are begging for a reason to hold on, a reason to live, and the next you’re fighting tooth and nail to keep going. Just about gnawing your own arm off to get out. To survive and live to see another day. Another sunrise.)

By that time the air has returned to your lungs it’s enough for you to scream. “Jin! Jin! There’s someone in the house there’s-”

You try and inhale through your nose and blood makes you choke. You push at the floor with your hands, struggling to stand, fingers slippery and tacky with your blood.

The man tries to scramble up the stairs but you latch onto his legs and make him drop. Doing everything in your power to keep him from going up to them, to your packmates. Hugging his ankle to your chest to slow him down (the same way you’ve hugged Namjoon’s arm and Yoongi’s, the way you held Hobi in the nest on the couch just a few shattered days ago).

The man turns the gun on you, pointing it to your head, you flinch, waiting for the shot-

and open them as He heaves a frustrated roar before he wheels away and turns, aiming at the top of the stairs instead of right in your face.

You could have died right then. could have and should have, but you didn’t. Your brain is too messy with adrenaline right now to make sense of it.

Why didn't he shoot?

The gun goes off, a bullet whizzing by Jin’s head. His face, scared, on the stairs flashes ever briefly. Ducking for cover just in time. The doorframe explodes in a cacophony of dark wood splitters. The doorknob sparks and bursts into a million pieces with another shot. metal clanking against the ceiling, the walls, down the stairs.

One second, you’re holding onto his heavy leather boot, and the next it’s colliding with your face and you’re out like a light.

Getting hit in your face is always such a disorientating experience. You’d never gotten used to it, even with Geumjae. Granted it’s hard to get used to the stomach-churning low vision feeling of weightlessness, like vertigo only worse.

"Hobi! don't- jesus fucking christ-"

You’re not quite sure what happens next only that you can’t see for a moment after the boot hits your face, and you take big breaths through your mouth. Blood, you taste blood. And then your vision comes back. Black spots and all and there’s Hobi’s face in front of you. No assassin, just him, helping you up from the floor. You're not on the steps anymore but at the bottom of them.

“The kitchen, the kitchen," Blood rushes over your bottom lip. Hoseok wipes it away, inhaling a jagged breath. "He’s-”

He pushes at your shoulders. “The car- get to the car.” It feels impossible. This can be happening in your house. Are you about to have a shoot-out in the street? On your quiet cul-de-sac? But then, in the corner of your vision dark movement.

You tug Hobi’s head down the second that the gun goes off- probably saving his life, definitely saving it as the bullet tears through the banister and ends in a hollow thump in the wall. he may not have shot you but he has no quams shooting at Jin and Hobi. The bullets hit the wall- Maybe 6 inches above your bent heads. Too close, close enough that Hobi trembles in your hold. And he rips something- a piece of the doorway, out of his arm with a wince before he covers your body with his own.

The volley of gunshots are so loud, so vicious as they blow things apart, tearing holes through Yoongi’s coat, the doorway, the banister, and the narrow stairway rungs. Pieces of wood hit your curled forms. Hobi shoves your head down when you try to look.

There is wetness, hot, something hot on your hands, your neck, you know it’s blood before you look. You think it’s from you until the Gunsmoke clears and you realize- fingers skimming across hoseok's forehead, a gash above his eyebrow.

A bullet graze by his hairline thats bleeding profusely. head wounds always bleed a ridiculous amount.

There are more bullets behind you but it’s just Jin returning fire.

Jin’s got Tae behind him. Her face ashy and pink from the shower and panic, her mid-length dark hair such a tangle, cowering behind his back. Jin's gun is so much louder without the silencer. Did he bring one upstairs? Or did he get it from Jimin’s stash?

Jin nearly drags Tae to the three of you, and she clings to you. Your hand finds her face. Fingers are red and bloody smudging against her cheek, blink and you're back there a million moments in the past; dotting red blush across her cheeks with a brush- your fingers- kissing it into place with your lips- painting a line of maroon across her eyelids to bring out the lighter flecks in her eyes- Watching her twirl in a red dress. Pressing your red lips against hers in a quiet dark moment in the library room. With her in Hobi's red car- Everything red.

If it starts with red, maybe it's fitting that it ends in red too.

Jin doesn’t give you time to reminisce. Pushing her shoulder down hard. His bare chest splattered with splinters from the door. Covered in wood fragments that stick to his black sweatpants and damp feet. Shouting, “All of you get down!”

You follow your pack omega’s words. Hobi and Tae With their damn alpha instincts blanket you as Jin fires again. The shots are so much louder in the small space. Another shot, another thunder strike. tae grips your wrist tight, your hands.

When you look down, they look mutilated. you can see bone in one place, deep gashes across the centre of your palms.

Your ears ring and you can't make sense of anything over the noise. Jin returns every bang with a boom of his own, bright flashes lighting up the dark staircase. Casing after casing tinkling down to the floor, rolling across the floorboards

But then, for a second- the gunfire goes quiet.

The house creeks and the three of you hold your breath. Jin's still half-concealed. The air heavy and clouded with gunsmoke and the smell of blood.

Hobi tentatively gets onto his knees and then stands when he doesn't immediately get shot at. You make a small noise in your throat, the loudest that you dare, but he’s looking after Jin, standing in the darkness, hackles raising his angry scent of burning sugar acrid in your nose. His hand slides out of yours, your blood on his palms.

And then you hear the rush of boots, echoing in the living room, near your nest- you’d never unmade it after you and Hobi fucked there. You'd been too busy taking care of Jimin. Hoseok bears his teeth.

Hobi turns, sliding out of your hands quicker than you can grab him. Quicker than you can tell him that he’s being dumb, that he’s being suicidal.

“Not my girlfriend! You asshole!”

The world is a dizzying cacophony of gunpowder, pain, bullets, and shouting. Jin yells Hoseok’s name. But the alpha heads after the assassin regardless of your cries. Jin narrowly keeps him from running headlong into no mans land. the open area by the door that would leave Hoseok a sitting duck.

Tae’s standing up on unsteady legs as you all spill out of the stairs into the narrow hall. Out from her hiding place cowering behind the banister. Your attention isn’t on her it’s on Hobi. Neither you nor Jin are looking at her. You’re running after him on shaky legs. Jin holds you both back, trying to corrall you. The air is cloudy with Gunsmoke, hazy and heavy. Her eyes are wide and pretty like dark marbles as she watches Hobi.

They’re just as pretty when the gun presses to the back of her head.

Everyone turns and goes still. The man has Tae in his arms, hand in her hair making her neck arch. The gun pressed to her jaw. Finger on the trigger.

Her body trembles and she doesn’t turn, frozen still in fear a shallow whine building in her throat.Jin has the gun trained on the man faster than you can make to step in Tae’s direction. But it’s no use.

He must have gone around, run through the livingroom through your pantry. A similar path that you took to surprise him. He must know the floor plan of the house, must have studied it to prevent situations like this. You have no upper hand here with tae in his arms.

Tae’s mouth is buttony and parted, but it settles into a resigned line.

Jin’s never been a good enough shot- not for one like this, even barely 10 feet away. He might hit Tae. Shaky, Jin takes his finger off the trigger and stoops down to put the gun on the floor. His other hand is up, already surrendering when the man jerks Tae's head back by her hair. Rougher than he needs to be.

“Don’t shoot her, please don’t shoot- please.”

The man juts his chin at the gun on the floor. “Kick it away now, be a good omega.” Jin grits his teeth but does as he says.

The man’s voice is rough as gravel. Dignified, but with no obvious accent. Not the quiet cadence that you’ve come to expect from the family. Neither posh nor lowbrow. Something in between. Flat and monotone. You're sure that you've never heard his voice before.

“I have to admit, your file said you’d be resistant, but it said nothing about you being dumb as fuck and a poor shot to boot.”

Jin licks his lips and bares his teeth, “Put that gun back in my hand and then say it again.” The masked man cocks his head to the side and then shrugs as if Jin's fury doesn't mean anything to him.

But He’s bleeding, it trails down to the floor so the words can't be genuine. It's a small wound, a graze on his right thigh. Red bright and hot that drips in onto the floor from his pant leg.

His hand tightens in Tae’s hair. “Line up against the wall. Now. Or I’ll blow her brains out in front of you."

You move first, eyes trained on Tae. But he snaps, eyes unreadable behind that mask, “No- not you. I’m not here to kill you.”

He tosses something to Jin and he catches it. Handcuffs that jingle and clink. Your foot hits an errant bullet with a similar tinkle. “Handcuff Jin to the stairs Hoseok.”

Your names, he knows your names. Your mind races over every detail, every moment trying to piece together a way to get out of this. a way to save them.

“Why are you doing this?” Hobi’s trembling, shaking. “Did Jimin-”

“Jiminie did nothing.” The man croons dragging the barrel of the gun down Tae’s cheek leaving a dark smudge in its wake. It's red on her face, the barrel must still be hot, your blood crusty around her lips.

“Honestly though, you should know he was a shit assassin. Truly piss poor even by industry standards. They always threw him the easiest kills."

The three of you are quiet, if he was hoping to elicit a reaction or more of a fight You don’t give him the satisfaction. Although jin grits his teeth, gnashing anger and an omega's feral instinct to protect their pups.

You step forward hands open, barely two steps from Tae. If you can just get to her maybe you can-

“Please- please don’t kill them."

He cocks his head at you, and you can hear the grin in his voice. “Oh no, you misunderstand me I’m not going to do any of it.”

He taps Tae’s head once again with the gun and Tae starts to truly struggle. You tremble in fury and horror as you realize what he means with a sickening lurch in your stomach.

“This is how it’s going to work Y/n” You still at the sound of your name. “Taehyung here is going to shoot Jin and Hoseok. And then once we’re sure they’re good and dead, I’ll kill her.” He tosses you another pair of handcuffs, these ones are meant for you.

You take one step closer; Jin's gun is between your feet now. But you couldn't pick it up or else he'd shoot Tae. Time, you just need a minute to figure out what to do. How to get them out of this.

Yourself now, that's a different story. If you where in Tae's position you'd turn your face to the side and bite the mans hand.

“And what about me then? If they're all dead what’s to stop me from fighting?” he seems to consider it only briefly, the gun in his hand tilting so that you can see the dark oval where the bullet will come out, where it will rocket through Tae's skull and take all the little worlds she dreams of, all her poems and words and make them nothing.

“You think you're so precious? I’ll just kill you.” he says it like it's nothing. like you're nothing. He nods to the others, appealing to them and not you. “What do you want? All four of you to die? Or just three? What will hurt Namjoon the least? Do you think Yoongi will survive loosing his mate? What do you think Jinnie?”

You think of Yoongi's mating mark, the spot on his hip where your small curved semi-circles sit. You think of them turning black- a brand of a dead mate. You think of Hobi's eyes opening and never closing again. You think of Jungkook nesting without Jin and you. Of Namjoon holding out his hand and having no one to take it without Jin there.

You won't let any of this happen.

The others shoot each other unsure glances but you shake your head. you shake your head because earlier on the step, the man didn't take the easy shot, the easy kill.

If he really had orders to kill you, he would have done it then.

you step forward and shake your head. “I don’t believe you. I know your orders are to take me. That’s what all of this is about isn’t it?” The man doesn’t drop his weapon. Just presses it tighter to Tae’s jaw.

“Handcuff Jin now Hobi. Or else I’ll-”

You see the darkness settle in Jin’s eyes and before you know it he's turning to you, eyes flat. Endless in their darkness, the way they might if-

You don't let yourself consider it. You won't let it get to that point.

“Pup-”

You guess it does make sense, having you kill each other as opposed to the assassin doing the dirty work and implicating Moonbyul. If you really are on that ‘no kill list’ like Yoongi said at the hospital, having you take out each other is the only logical course of action. Once Tae kills Jin and Hobi, she'll be free game. This is the only way retribution won’t fall back on her. This is so similar to what she tried and failed to do with Jimin and Jin. This is a second attempt.

Only-

Only this time, you have a bargaining chip.

You step forward, in front of Hobi and Jin, blocking them from his line of sight. Barely a pace in front of Tae, but from the way he tightens his grip on her you know that you can go no further.

“You can take me; I’ll go with you. Willingly.”

Jin makes a noise in his throat and tries to move, but dares not when the man tightens his grip on Tae’s hair hard enough to rip a bit of it out.

“That’s what she wants, isn’t it? If you just let them live I’ll go with you.”

The man is silent for a second. Hobi trembles and so does Jin. For a second, you truly think that he’s going to take the bait.

But the mask is directed towards the floor, then back up at you. “Those aren’t my orders.” His finger is on the trigger so close to Tae’s head. “Now cuff him, I don’t want Jinnie getting any ideas.”

Hobi’s hands are shaking as he unwillingly shackles Jin to the steps as slowly as he can. He's buying time too. Every second and every heartbeat is precious. Both ends loop around a single rung and click closed. The rung itself is a little loose from a bullet that blew it apart near the bottom, it’s got to be the loosest one. Hobi turns, and you see the pre-meditation in his eyes; he chose that one so that Jin could still get free if he tried hard enough.

Everyone is trying. Everyone is defiant. The quirk of Jin's eyes as he settles, staring with rage at the man, his voice a quiet croon when he says what might very well be the last words he ever speaks.

“Tae you can close your eyes honey, it’s okay.”

"No I can't" She struggles harder against his hold, but it only gets her part of her hair pulled out with how rough the man jerks her, tears clouding her vision. "I can't- don't- please-"

Tae's soul has always been butterfly soft and flower tender. She's not made for this. She's not made for murder or pain or anything that lacks softness. She's never been a killer; Jimin was always that side of their coin. Saint and sinner.

Your body goes cold and for a second, you think you just might pass out, especially when Hoseok grips your wrist. One final squeeze in what can only be goodbye before he steps away and in front of jin. Hair puffed up. Jin is lowering his eyes and no no no.

No.

Tae is staring at you, eyes wide and scared, but you watch in total powerlessness as her eyebrows lower. You see the moment Tae thinks it. Eyes meeting yours, lips mouthing something that you can’t read. Maybe I’m sorry no.

I love you. Sorry.

The truth is that Jimin drilled this with her years ago before she left for college and he couldn’t follow. When Jimin first realized that for the first time in their lives she’d be without him as a constant protector. Delicate delicate Tae with her delicate pink soul. So vulnerable to the world and all its wickedness.

Tae didn't confront him about it until the nightmares were waking him up regularly. They were simple nightmares back then; images of Tae hurt and mugged. Tae beaten and left in an alleyway. Tae stalked through the night. Simple, but enough to keep him awake. Enough to torture him in his wakon hours as well as the nighttime.

If Jimin saw her now he'd pull the heavens down and demand something truly awful in exchange. He'd take one of the knives from the kitchen and gut him from belly button to addams apple. He'd eviscerate him- and Namjoon might help.

Hut there is no one here to do any of that, there is only Tae in the man's hold.

“What are you so scared of?” She’d asked one morning, trailing endless patterns on his chest in an effort to soothe him back to sleep.

“Something happening to you while I’m not there, mostly.”

“Would it make you feel better? If you taught me the basics?”

Jimin's pause is telling, more telling are his eyes, hopeful when he looks up at Tae. “Yes, it would.”

It’s been years and years since Jimin Tae have bothered to drill any self-defense sequences it at all. Since he stopped asking her to refresh the basics with him once a year just to make sure. Jimin never thought that Tae would have to use those skills. Like with most things, you just sort of hope you don't have to fight.

But Tae knows you did fight. It's written all over your bloody face and your bloody hands, tightened to fists by your side. If you fought tooth and nail to save them she should fight too.

Tae has written fight scenes like this before. If she survives the press of the gun to the back of her head, she’s gonna have one hell of a personal experience to pull from for her book. The content will be endless.

She seems to swell in the space, alpha shoulders settling back. Her mouth is moving, mouthing words her eyes on you. Just in case this is the last thing she ever does.

I’m sorry, I love you.

“Be a good boy and pick up the gun Tae.” Tae bends down, syrupy slow. Intentional with her every movement. One heartbeat. Another. Tae's fingers are maybe an inch from the gun when everything goes haywire.

When she's about halfway bent she uses her momentum to hurl her body back, slamming her head into the gun and then into the man’s face. Cracking the mask and from the sound of it, the man’s nose. Tae's almost knocks herself out with the force of her own head colliding with the man’s face.

She turns, she’s not finished, not even close. She might be a woman but she’s an alpha too. Alphas always always fight to protect their pack. She turns and swings.

And drives her elbow as hard as she can between the alpha’s legs.

Hobi can’t stop his flinch. That has to hurt.

The assassin’s gun goes flying, skittering across the dark floor and under the bookcase and Hobi ends up lunging for it. You go after it too but you end up holding Tae instead, crumpling to the floor without anything to hold her up. She’s holding the back of her head, eyes watering.

The traditional mask lyes in pieces around you, shatered by the force of tae's headbut. The man clutches his nose, features still covered by the ski mast. Growling out- "Bitch- fucking bitch! I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill all of you-"

Jin struggles yanking his cuffed hands down as hard as he can- in another minute he might get loose, but not quick enough as Hobi finds the gun and raises it. The bullet hits the molding beside your pantry, missing the man by inches as he dives away to safety. A lucky shot by any standard, let alone for a beginner. Hobi shoots off after him. knocking into the wall before he's up and chasing it.

“Are you okay, Tae, Tae- look up at me.” Tae is clutching the back of her head. Blinking rabidly. That fucking hurt even if it was worth it.

“I’m fine just-” She leans over your legs and vomits, retching loud and horrible. Concussion- she must have given herself a concussion. Namjoon told you months ago how to read the signs of them shortly after the first time Jungkook ever had a seizure in front of you.

You hold her shoulders, watching Jin try and break himself free, yanking his wrists hard enough that it has to hurt. Moving to try and help him.

And then Hobi makes a noise in the other room, a pained ghasp, A thump and then-

Tae is already up and running, stumbling into the wall. You glance at Jin. "Go- just go" Jin grinds out. But Tae has longer legs than you do even concussed.

By the kitchen, Hobi slips on a fallen tangerine. (You remember then, Yoongi clearing the table with a brush of his hands for Jimin, tossing a whole bowl of them onto the floor. Where they've stayed since then) they're fighting, the man must have managed to disarm Hobi somehow because the gun sits under one of the chairs. Both of them are fighting just beside the dining room table. Part of it splintered and broken where someone broke it.

They're grappling on the floor now. Pushing against each other trying to gain the upper hand. you've watched the alpha's wrestle before- small disputes to settle and reaffirm the hierarchy, but you've never seen hobi move like this. You watch the man grasp at his waist reaching for the knife. His hands so slick with his own blood that it clatters to the floor. Hobi may not be trained but he's a fighter too. Gnashing his teeth and growling. Reaching up into the shallow gash at the mans throat and digging in his fingers.

And then he’s got Hobi on the ground and his hands around your alpha's throat. Tae tries to get him off but he backhands her, sending her sprawling to the ground and clutching her cheek. Too dizzy to stand. Big hands that squeeze and squeeze and squeeze Hobi's narrow throat. Spit at the corner of his lips turning frothy as hoseok tries to breathe and can't.

“I didn’t come this far to get killed by a bunch of family rejects; 11 years and 1458 kills later and I will not die. Just give up already- I didn’t come this far to-”

Hobi’s face is turning purple, hands scrabbling, pushing against his face trying to get him off unsuccessfully. Dying there on the floor. Hobi is going to die right there if you don't do anything.

Jin is shouting from the other room and there is a frying pan in the kitchen. On the countertop that you snatch on your way past, winding up for it before you swing it with all your might at the man's head and-

At the end of the day, it’s hard to say exactly what kills him. Whether it's you or Tae who wields the killing blow. It’s more of a group effort between you and her.

Tae has read countless books that described love as some gentle force, but this love has not made her gentle. Tae cannot sit there on the floor and watch Hobi die. She'd do anything to protect him and the pack. She’d kill people like Minnie did, would lie just as Jin had, would have sacrificed anything- even herself just like Yoongi.

Love had always been giving in Tae's mind, and she would give countless sins and untold violence, to have this not be the last day with you and the pack.

The gun is just sitting there under the chair. tae hardly has to lean over to get it. (If she makes it out of this alive, she swears to himself that she'll finally start taking those kickboxing classes that Jungkook teaches.) Tae lifts the gun at the same moment that your hand descends with the frying pan.

Tae turns, points, aims, and fires. She doesn’t even think twice about it. The trigger goes down as easily as breathing.

Getting shot in the throat definitely distracts him enough, definitely makes him let go of Hobi, clutching at his own throat instead of his. blood rushing over his hand and down onto hobi's face. So much that it almost splashes.

And then the frying pan hits his head with a hollow final thud.

There is a placid terror in things like this, a quiet as things go and come. The thumping, the sobbing breaths you let out, the descent of your hand, beating out your terror on the body below, a vessel for all of your fear.

The handle of the frying pan is thick and heavy in your hands. You bring it down on the man’s head, the curved edge of the cast iron connects with the plate of his skull with a hollow thud. One second, he's clutching at his blown-apart throat, and the next he goes limp, blood and brain matter splatters loud and heavy along the floor. Falling on top of Hobi like a lead weight.

Hobi's brown eyes are bloodshot and red in his mouth, heaving one big breath that sends the room spinning. Sends vertigo into his veins and panic-running adrenaline. You lift your arms up again and hit him, descending again and again.

His body is still, so still. His chest gives one open shudder and then goes truly quiet. Frozen in time. You are covered in blood, in your mouth, on your hair, on the ceiling. More and more splatters as your hand goes up and then down in an endless loop.

Dark cotton soaks, matted with blood and brain matter, blurry from your tears. A bit of it hits your face, wet and stinky. People never tell you how horrible it smells when people die.

You don’t stop hitting the man, even when it's clear he's dead. Even when you glare down at him through the tears in your eyes and see half a face staring up at you. An eyeball rolls across the floor.

There are arms around you pulling you off of him eventually. Dry warm arms, big and heavenly. One wrist dangles with a pair of handcuffs as Jin yanks you back from the man. The body.

“Pup- It’s done, pup- he's gone- Stop.”

There is blood all over you. On your face, on your hands, around the frying pan. Tae too, sitting just beside you. Half of her body splattered. Hobi's soaked with it and still struggling to breathe. But both of them, the three of them are alive.

“It’s over pup.” Jin sounds like he might be crying. Tae definitely is.

Hobi puts his head between his knees, gasping for every breath but still breathing. Tae's got him in his lap. Holding on to him as he splutters. face so soaked with blood he can't open his eyes without blinking rapidly.

It’s anything but over you think as you let go of the handle of the frying pan.

It clatters to the ground with a bloody and final thunk.

~-~

Please Like, Comment, and Reblog! Every bit of encouragement helps me write the next chapter!

Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!

Series Masterlist ~ Donate ~ Twitter

~-~

Notes:

if the beginning of the chapter feels weird/different in terms of narration that is because it was mostly written 3+ years ago and my writing style has changed alot! kinda crazy! hopefully people will just attribute it to hoseok's internal monologue. it might be meandering but i kept reminding myself that this is hoseok at his lowest you know?

One thing i want you guys to realize is that the m/c may not be smart, but holy fuck can she take a beating and still get up.

Gun shoot outs are uniquely hard to write because like, just bang and it's done right? idk why part of this writing just felt so tedious usually i love writing stuff like this :(

hobi calls the m/c his girlfriend 🥺 did you guys notice???? he's such a cute pup charecter.

i have more notes for this chapter BUT i can't share them until the next one is out because it involves hobi's secret.

i hope you guys see like- how good the m/c actually is at the crime and thinking on her feet shit- i think that this chapter above all others shows her street smarts. she knows to keep the guy talking and distracted- i think it compliments her similarities to jimin and jin like. the trio of them are very capable people you know? vs hobi who just headlong rushes the assassin and fucks shit up. i'm not saying it's his fault- he does the best that he can in this chapter.

I'm trying to pull from my actual knowledge of how guns work but fun fact, silencers are still fucking loud, like still so loud that you need ear protection. and even blank bullets can still cause serious injury at close range.

I'm again at the stage where i can't tell if the gun shooting scene is clunky and too predictable or if it's actually as creepy as i've made it out to be.

This is one of those situations- the bargaining for each others lives, that i've actually never had to handle. it's actually pretty unusual for me to write about things that i haven't experienced in some way shape or form.

i've only written a few scenes in my life that have made me wonder like "huh- i wonder if people might actually think that i've seen a dead body, been around a dead body, or killed someone before?" and ngl, the scene with the assassin dying is one that makes me wonder that... i promise i just have a scarily vivid imagination.

[w2beastars]

Waezi2′s thoughts on “Beast Complex” chapter 25

So, I know we were all disgusted by the freak South who dated a lizard who was the same species as him(ewww). So I am happy to tell you all that we are going back to some good ol' freaky furry romance.

Better yet, this chapter is about Haru and Legosi!

The main couple of Beastars now practically live together since their universities are pretty close to each other. Haru is doing her third year in college and Legosi, now with a clean criminal record, is doing his first year in college, studying entomology.

Good for you, Legosi :) It is never too late to get back to school!

So, the wolf and the rabbit has been together for three years now and (for the most part) live together. You know what that means...

Oh yeah! They sleep together!

... In separate beds! There is no sex whatsoever!

Haru asks the same question as the rest of us: HOW?!?!?

Well, the first night Haru spent at Legosi's place, the ussual happened:

Like most wolves, Legosi makes small bites when he gets overly exited. Haru didn't get hurt, she got a scratch behind her ear, it's not the end of the world.

But afterwards, their relationship has been... well, casual.

There is no sexy atmosphere between them since the biting incident. They still spend their free time together, but it is almost like they are a middle-aged married couple where they brush their teeth together and everyday stuff like that. It bothers Haru a great deal since she is a college girl and it makes her feel old, makes the two of them feel old. She would like to get wild while she is still young... But to be fair, don't you think you had plenty of fun already, Haru?

I'm not slut-shaming or anything, just saying.

Anyways, Haru contacts Juno. Yep, everyone's favorite queen wolf is back!

Two things I noticed is that Haru now calls her "chan", implying a bit more friendly relationship between the two of them. Second is that even though Juno is here to give Haru input and advise about wolves, we don't get to learn anything about what her life is like right now.

YOU ARE KILLING ME, PARU!!! YOU ARE TORTURING ME SPECIFICALLY BY NOT LETTING US LEARN WHAT HER LIFE POST-LOUIS IS LIKE!

As I was saying, Haru wants Juno to give her advice to kick Legosi's wolf instincts into high gear. Juno is unsure if that's such a great idea(no duh!) but share what would normally make a male wolf... excited.

There is just one problem... Legosi is... well, Legosi.

He is a terrible mix of extremely polite, concerned and dense.

Nothing Haru does triggers Legosi, he misreads the signals completely and Haru starts to wonder if they have simply lost their spark.

Then, one night as Haru goes to bed disappointed that she haven't unleashed the beast so to say, she sees that Legosi is awake.

It's full moon, and Legosi can't help it but to stay up and watch it. Even if it is bogus that the moon should somehow affect wolves, Legosi and his fellow canines are still emotionally attached to it. Haru says she can relate to this to some degree, probably because rabbits have a religious connection to the moon.

This is possibly the first thing their species have in common. So the two of them goes for a late night/early morning stroll, enjoying the beautiful moon.

The two of them just enjoy each other's company, it's nice and quiet. They are not tired from class or trying to study or doing everyday tasks, meaning they can actually connect on a emotional level.

And then we get the twist:

As stated earlier, Legosi accidentally scratched Haru's ear when he got "excited" and Haru assumed it killed the vibe between them. But this seems to imply that he was waiting for the wound to heal completely.

Or maybe it is because they are both relaxed that Legosi feels less anxious.

Either way, they don't spend this night in separate beds.

I'm gonna be honest, it was not the best Haru x Legosi story I read, I would have liked a bit more of the classic Paru insanity. But I very much enjoyed it, and this specific story shouldn't have that much crazy because it is about the lack of insanity in the wolf and rabbit's life. We get to see that Legosi can finally get a real career and even achieve his dream of working with insects and how much they have evolved as an actual couple, not just furry angst and tension between the rabbit and wolf. It also feels like Paru is ending Beast Complex for real this time to focus more on her other projects, and if that's the case then this was a nice way to end it.

I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

[elegantauthor]

Saving Grace Chapter 12

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Aurora Stark

Summary: Bucky returns to his apartment in Brooklyn, alone.

Warnings: feels, fluff at the end

Series Masterlist

Bucky felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. From the moment Aurora went missing, he operated on autopilot. The only other thing that managed to incite his ire was when Sam told him that Karli contacted his sister, Sarah, in Delacroix, Louisiana. How the leader of the Flag Smashers procured such intel, neither he nor Sam could figure out.

Every fight thereafter was mechanical, instinctive; he was a soldier in combat. The encounter with the Flag Smashers. Confronting John Walker, the now former Captain America, for the shield.

After parting ways with Sam, Bucky travelled to the first place he could think to find Zemo: the Sokovian Memorial. Gun in the pocket of his coat, he waited.

“We will find him, White Wolf. Leave it to us.” Ayo’s steadfast tenacity roused his dejected spirit, if only momentarily. He didn’t question her loyalty to Aurora. In Wakanda, the two women were inseparable.

“You don’t understand, I can’t—” Tears filled his eyes, as he grasped the gun tighter in his vibranium hand, the metal squealing in protest. “I can’t return to the States without her.” He swallowed around the lump, his voice a throaty rasp when he spoke. “I promised—”

“Aurora is like a sister to me,” said Ayo, her own voice threatening to quiver with emotion. “There is no place Zemo can hide. You look like you’ve been to hell and back. Go home, regroup, then join us.”

That was a compromise to which he could concede. His apartment in Brooklyn, however, offered no solace.

He entered through the front door, leaving it to swing open behind him. Devoid of the warmth and liveliness he’d experienced the past week with Aurora, his demons emerged anew. Hatred crept in, settled in the pit of his stomach, and festered. He hated himself for even thinking it was a good idea to recruit Zemo. He was the one who aided and abetted the criminal’s escape from prison. She was in this predicament because of him.

Sinking to his knees, he clutched his head in his hands. His sobs echoed in the vacancy of the living room, drowning out all the sound from the street—the same backdrop of white noise that lulled him to sleep every night, while he tossed and turned from nightmares. He cried until his heart felt like it was going to implode, and knew he needed to anchor himself; otherwise, he wasn’t going to be of any use to Ayo in their hunt for Zemo.

He slid across the floor to the one possession he brought back from Wakanda following the Blip. An old record player Aurora had gifted him for Christmas the year he’d gotten her the gold chain. With shaky hands, he put the vinyl on the turntable. Their song played, soft and crooning, as Bucky cried until there were no tears left.

~ * ~

Six years ago

“It isn’t much,” said Aurora, looking sheepish as Bucky held the wrapped present in his lap. He almost didn’t want to ruin the paper; the glistening blue snowflakes were nearly as beautiful as her. The box itself was heavy, and whatever was inside it fragile, apparently.

There was just a hint of irony in her choice of wrapping paper. For although it was Christmas Eve, you wouldn’t know it with the sweltering temperatures that permeated the hut. With his one arm, he carefully tore it away, swallowing thickly as he opened the box. The making of tears pooled in his eyes. “Doll…” He was absolutely speechless.

“This goes with it.” From behind her back, Aurora produced a record. “It’s the oldest I could find.”

“Elvis Presley, huh?” She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip—a nervous habit that Bucky found endearing. “Let’s hear it.”

Wise men say

Only fools rush in

But I can’t help falling in love with you

Swallowing again, Bucky stood, towering over Aurora who sat cross-legged on the floor of the hut. He offered her his hand. “Can I have this dance?” he asked, feeling every bit like the man from the Forties. She rose gracefully, as he pulled her to her feet, marveling at how her body contoured perfectly with his. With his one hand on the small of her back, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, shuddering a breath at the lyrics.

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin

If I can’t help falling in love with you?

As they danced slowly to the music, holding each other, Bucky knew his life would never be the same. For the first time since his recovery, he welcomed the uncertainty. Even with no security net to catch him, he had her.

Take my hand

Take my whole life, too

For I can’t help falling in love with you

[rise-my-angel]

Heart of the Great Wolf

The Aftermath of Envy

Pairing: Jon Snow x F!Baratheon!Reader

Length: 21.9k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, past mentions of domestic and sexual abuse, jealousy and possessive tendencies, smut, oral (f receiving), slight exhibitionism, outdoor sex, smut, p in v, breeding kink

Notes: This is a part 3 to the modern!au, and a direct continuation of the previous chapter. A part 4 is also in the works already. Previous Installment Here, Series Masterlist Here

He was acting strange, that much Jon had been able to figure out right away. From the time Robb had come back from work, the day Jon had come home to make amends for his mistakes with you, he could tell that there was something itching in the back of Robbs head. But Jon had no idea what it was specifically. Nor did he initially think he should have good reason too. The Starks all knew that if one of them had a personal issue that they wanted others in on, they’d share it. Plain and simple. Prying wasn’t their norm.

Besides, Jon had more to focus on. In around a week, it would mark two months since he had begun to fix what he caused with you, and Jon could safely say he refused to slack on it. Every boyfriend you had before treated you so horribly, that it was as if you had become hardwired to accept terrible behaviour from your partner, and to put the blame upon yourself. If Jon thought he was to work hard to ensure you without a doubt understood he never meant to hurt you nor would he do it again, he was working even harder to practically teach you to stop putting the weight of his faults onto your shoulders.

One of his more eye opening moments about his brother though, took place in the two weeks Jon had off. Suggesting that he and you should take some time to be just with the others company for a few days. So the next morning, he had driven you and Ghost to a more secluded part of the wolfswood. Just you both and his direwolf hiking and camping where there was no one to interrupt. He had you sitting firmly back in his arms by the fire as evening fell over top of you three, Ghost practically laying across your feet when you said it.

It was passing, but Jon couldn’t ignore it. “Has Robb said anything to you?” His head leaned a bit over your shoulders with a furrowed brow in question. “About the night he picked me up from the bar?” Jon answering lowly no, and why only to find a frustration in the answer. “Sometimes it feels like he’s been hovering over me ever since. Like he doesn’t trust I’m not going to end up doing the same thing all over again. I mean, I know my track record isn’t what some would call pristine, but-”

Jon pulled you a tad closer into his chest with a mumbled rasp, the fire reflecting staunchly in his grey eyes as he glared into it. “I wouldn’t worry about that, darling. Robb just cares about you.” But it was then Jon begun to wonder.

Perhaps his brother was caring a little too much about you all of the sudden.

But, he didn’t want to focus on that. Not then. Not when he had you out there all to himself and much to make up for. His head leaned down, seeking out your neck as one hand around you raised to gently pull some of your hair from out of his way. Lips finding their way to the sensitive skin, but never so much that it was rough. Gently brushes of his tongue as it to mark out the path he was to kiss along, following suit as his other hand begun to run down more along your hipbone. Where the pants on you sat, he pushed your sweater up just enough to let his fingertips brush of the skin there.

Rasping low as he let his lips move along the skin to just under your ear, vibrating deep within you. “I want you to be honest with me. If something bad happened to you, before we started dating, you’d tell me, right?” Your head tilting almost in question, did he press another kiss tot he same spot. “With your ex’s, or any other men you’ve known. If one of them did something to you, you know I’d want you to tell me right?”

He could tell that there was a bit of confusion regarding what it was specifically he was getting at, or you did not understand what he was trying to bring up. “Jon, I promise I won’t worry ever again that you’re anything like them-”

Another kiss to the same spot, Jon pressed his hand more firmly against your stomach to tug you back closer, were such a thing even possible. “I’m not suggesting you think otherwise, it’s alright. But I love you, and I can’t take care of you properly if I don’t know everything I’m protecting you from.” Jon took no offence to your initial silence. Still he was the one who said it more, who was more free in wanting to say it more without any worry any longer of what the other felt.

You knew that too, but Jon had no problem letting you take your time getting used to saying it out loud. “It’s all in the past, I don’t even think about any of it anymore.” Jon only hummed, the sound as if you understood he did not quite believe what you said but hadn’t pushed it. “Besides, you know about Ramsay, about Karl.”

Not all of it, he thought. He was certain you didn’t really tell him the full truth about either. He knew that Ramsay was cruel to you in bed, and considering how shy you could be with him still now, it clearly had more impact then none. And he knew for a fact you didn’t want to tell him anything of what really went on when you were living five hours away from Jon with Karl Tanner. Already you had put together that Jon learned something about Viserys, but you had promised him nothing physical happened that went too far before it was stopped.

Jon didn’t quite know how to tell you then, that such a thing wasn’t of much comfort when the man had clearly tried it in the first place. Instead, he let his hand run along the skin by your hip, teasing the idea of letting his fingertips sink beneath the fabric. “You don’t talk about either of them much, I want to know you’re alright with this. With us, if there are things you still are struggling with from them.”

You leaned back into his front more innocently, as if only snuggling further into his warmth like you hadn’t noticed the manner which his hand suggested his thoughts were headed. “I’m fine, I promise. They’re gone and I don’t want to think about them anymore when I’m with you. At all.” A small smile left Jon as he nudged the side of your head with his, muttering that it was a deal. He still had a few days out in the wolfswood with you, and he was going to enjoy it.

Which was quite easy, when he had finally let his hand drift downwards, sinking below all layers adorning your bottom half and letting two fingers find your clit without second thought.

By the time he had gotten the three of you home, Jon spared little time in the late hours prompting you into the shower. Muttering with a nudge that he’d put your stuff away in his room before coming to join you. The apartment had been silent, and all three of you silent with it to ensure you didn’t wake up Robb or Theon.

Peeling off his heaviest layers, Jon finally yanked off his shirt, and let his curls finally fall loose, opening the door to join as he knew your routine meant you’d hardly be passed the washing the sweat and grime off of yourself. What he hadn’t expected, was Ghost to be the one to give away that you had all come back.

Apparently, the direwolf had made his way into Robbs room to greet Greywind. Both direwolves thus waking Robb up, but what Jon too hadn’t expected, was to leave his room to join you and find Robb near that side of the apartment. With a smirk nudging for Ghost and Greywind to go sleep before they made a huge ruckus. Yet when his eyes glanced up to Jon, his own blue eyes darted from Jon to the semi closed door of the bathroom Jon shared with you, and back to him where his brows narrowed at the clear sight of what he was watching about to happen.

It was not anything he had never said before, but it was the manner which he said it. As if any tone of jesting or even genuinity was being masked behind a thick layer of something bitter. “Welcome back, Snow.”

Jons silent nod being painted with a rather apprehensive expression, was certainly not passed Robbs notice either.

There was a tense air between the brothers before Robb prompted Greywind to come back and get some sleep once more, leaving Jon in the hall with a confusion as to what exactly had just taken place and what it was Robb was trying to convey in what looked like a barley held back glare. Jon knew though, if he thought about it for any longer, he may not appreciate whatever conclusion he’d end up at, so he pushed it down.

And thought little of the fact that he hadn’t heard Robb’s door close, meaning it was obvious when Jon slipped into the bathroom where you were showering, and locked the door behind him. Closing it all off to his brothers final listening ears.

But, it was easy to forget all of that right away. Just enough steam filling the room that he knew you likely turned the water up hotter then you normally liked it, to counter how cold the past few nights had been for you both. The only warmth you could get was by a fire, and at night when you, him, and Ghost would all cuddle close together without a second thought.

The steam however, was not enough to mask the view. Not quite clear glass, but the door to his shower was opaque. A sort of crystal looking design that blurred specific details but not enough that Jon missed the sight of you perfectly. He could smell the faint trace of lavender in the air, knowing you had just finished cleaning off, and he could see your body arched back so the water could soak your hair.

Perfect. He arrived at the perfect time to slip in, and wash your hair for you. Stripping from the rest of his clothes, Jon muttered gently as he pulled the shower door open, “It’s just me, darling.” Before you even had the chance to jump and gasp in surprise. Standing up straighter, Jon grinned right away at how your hands twitched. Reaching up to cover yourself before remembering that he had seen this sight of your bare frame, more then many times. His own as well nude without shame as he closed the door.

Pulling you close by your hips, your soaked frame pressed close to his, as your hands rested against his chest up by his shoulders. Your eyes bright and innocent despite the splash of a fluster in them everytime he’d join you in the shower like this. “We weren’t too loud, were we?”

His grin grew brighter, while he had no doubt come in here to partially wash off the days grime, but also didn’t even think twice about joining you with a very specific intention, you could only think of the others in the apartment with a genuine worry your late arrival had been disruptive. If you suspected Jon wasn’t being honest, you didn’t say anything. “I think Ghost might have woken up Greywind, but no, otherwise we’re fine.”

His hand drifting up to nudge under your chin to look up at him better. Before he could even do anything further though, did you slip from his grasp to turn around. Reaching for the hanging rack for his stuff. He had two sets now, normally fine with bar soap, considering how little chance north of the Wall he’d get to have a proper shower when he and Tormund were out in the Haunted Forest. But you had gotten him things now that you’d share the shower with him. A proper cloth and a liquid soap version so that you could do it for him.

His eyes brightened as they playfully narrowed. “So you get to clean me, but I don’t get to wash you?” You only shook your head, holding a bright smirk back as you lathered it together. Prompting him to exchange spots with you so he was directly in the hot water.

You got to work without second thoughts, or alternate intentions and it made his heart soar. You didn’t do it because you felt obligated or were trying to appease his needs for something else, you did it because you just enjoyed taking care of him right back. The only girl in his life who ever had. Jon though, considered himself lucky that he did not make you feel that pressure when you knelt down.

It was a sight, bare and water soaking you as you were on your knees so close to his cock, but he wasn’t enticed by you in that way. Not really. If he preferred to keep any act to a far more limited occasion, it was that. The feeling you gave him was not the issue, far from that, Jon had only let you take his length into your mouth once and it was a heavenly feeling. But he also felt more out of control, how easy it would be to lose himself and be too rough, too deep, too demanding and make you feel unsafe.

Instead, even through his blood beginning to warm, Jon found it within himself to keep his composure as long as it took for him to help you stand up onto your feet before he felt too overwhelmed. Standing behind him now, Jon muttered your name low even over the water. “Are you taking your time on purpose?”

Your hands stopped mid movement as you ran the cloth down his back to finish, wide eyes looking up to where he turned partway to meet your gaze. A playful but dark haze begun to flow over his eyes against your much more innocent ones, much to his cocks want. “I was only trying to-”

But he cut you off, knowing exactly what was about to come out of your mouth. “Trying to make me feel good?” He said nothing, and something of a smirk wanted to peek through as you slowly nodded. “You know that’s my job right?” Your brows furrowed instantly.

A protest so genuine when you said it. “Why isn’t that my job as well?”

That time he let the chuckle deep from his chest come out. Turning to face you, he grabbed the cloth from your hand as he blindly reached back to hang it up. His hands smoothing down along your sides as he kept you close but at a distance enough that he wouldn’t make you feel as if his growingly hard length was to pressure you into anything. But his eyes remained bright as yours were, hinted with an adoration at how innocent you always looked at him even in such intimate situations. As if all your trust was in his hands, which it was. His rasp low, but warm as he moved one hand to cup your cheek. “Because making you feel good, is what makes me feel good. I don’t need you to do anything to please me, you already do.” Muttering that you hadn’t done anything yet as your hands reached to gently hold at his waist did Jon chuckle again.

He contemplated not saying it, knowing the embarrassed fluster that would come over you, but instead he swiftly turned you around. Reaching for his shampoo instead of yours, Jon spared no time carefully running it through your soft hair.

Though in retrospective, perhaps that was worse. As now he could rasp it so close to your ear, and the feeling of his cock twitching hard against your ass not at all hiding how worked up he felt. “Do you remember what you said to me the first time we slept together?”

As expected, already did the embarrassed fluster come over you. “I feel like I said too much..”

Laughing much more freely, Jon massaged his hands against your scalp as if to distract you somewhat from going in the wrong direction. “You didn’t understand why I’d want to taste you.” Your hands tensed at your sides, not knowing what to do as your muscles tensed nervously. For your sake, Jon downplayed it severely. “I heard you once, through the walls of our rooms. A few months ago, a beautiful moan. The second I heard that, all I could do was imagine that sound coming from you with my mouth between your legs.” Blindly reaching up to turn the water pressure lighter before unhooking the shower head. “I got off to that thought more then you know.”

Carefully beginning to rinse your hair out, it was a lot easier to hear the shaking nerves in your voice but Jon now knew so well too what the underlying desire also sounded like when you tried to hide it from him. “That still doesn’t explain-”

Cutting you off, it was something truly raw as he said it, no filter like it came without warning from his throat to speak. “I can’t explain that, darling. Touching you, tasting you, it feels better for me then you could ever imagine. How close I’ve gotten sometimes just from how long I’ve kept you pinned to my mouth alone.”

That was a shiver, in this hot water he felt a shiver and he knew he had you. Carefully putting the shower head back, Jon watched you stand for a moment without him with your hands tensed and curled up, but if you thought he wouldn’t notice the way you pressed your thighs together just the tiniest bit more, you were wrong. Jon saw all of it, how much you tried to force away how turned on you were, and he could only smile.

Through that heated blood desperate to take you, was a part of Jons heart that thought you were cute for thinking you had any reason to hide your want from him still. Pulling you suddenly into his chest, his hands sat with one firm at your hip, and the other against your lower stomach, fingers tracing along your hipbones if not peeking lower. Rough in your ear, that time he knew there was no hiding how painfully hard he was against the perfect plushness of your ass. “You know what else I love doing?”

Swallowing roughly, you shook your head and that fight of feral and adoring once more conflicted Jon until the animal within him clawed it’s way out. He didn’t even bother answering you, as the low hand suddenly sunk down pressing against your clit as you jolted with a gasp, Jon moved the hand on his hip to slide between your legs, two fingers sinking deep.

Jon’s head dropped to your neck for a moment, a growl erupting from him. He didn’t expect you to be this soaking wet, but you were. You had been so much more turned on then you let on and Jon felt no ability to waste time anymore. Running his fingers over your clit, he pressed firmly as well as found small, tight patterns that had your hand grasp at his forearm and wrist almost needing to steady yourself, cries coming freely from you without any stopping.

Each time you got used to one, did Jon change what he did. Seeking what worked best and what tormented you the most with his teasing and flipped between each. All the while never once did he cease to glide his fingers in and out of your clenching wetness. Your other hand grasped at the same arm of his, eyes slipping closed as your lips remained parted. Small cries coming from you again and again as you failed to regain your breath.

Jon tried, he tried so hard to resist that temptation. But he knew it was inevitable. Pulling them close to all the way out of you, Jon suddenly let his fingers slide as deep as they could back inside of you as he added a third so soon. Increasing the pressure against your clit as Jon used that leverage to pull you back against him with a grunt. Now with every knowledge he wanted you to feel his cock pushing against you, his own breathing rough and laboured as you no longer had any.

Rasping in your ear, Jon felt you clenching so tightly around him that he throbbed against you. “I should’ve pulled over.” Not able to even ask him anything, he read you perfectly without a single need for words. “Tonight. I should’ve pulled over. Drag you up onto my lap and take you then and there.”

Drawing you closer to your end, your voice had no air to accompany it but a desperation as you leaned back into his touch more. “There were...people on the road..someone would’ve seen-”

If that was supposed to deter his fantasy, Jon felt you should’ve known better by then. His car was a dangerous place to take you, now more then ever. He had little patience in there, and little care for anything but how you felt around him. His rubbing against your clit worked in tandem with the rhythm of three fingers deep moving in and out of you as your nails dug into his skin. “Good.” A confused cry of pleasure burst from your mouth and Jon nearly said all of it without realizing the words until they already left his mouth. “Next time I’ll strip you bare, bounce you on my cock until someone finally pulls over to watch.”

“You- you’d want someone to-”

Cutting you off, Jon dropped his head down to your neck again, muffled and hissing against you as he felt you so close needing one final push and his mouth allowed that to aid you in the form of depravity. “I’d let a hundred men watch, just so they know what they’ll never have, what I’ll never let anyone else ever have again.”

It was enough, the feeling of your orgasm flooding your veins too drew Jon closer as well. Rubbing tightly at the bundle of nerves until you could only try and jump away from his touch did Jon pull from you, his fingers soaked beyond what the water surrounding you did. Turning you suddenly to face him, did Jon just as quickly shove you up against the far side of the shower out of the waters direct stream.

Hands grabbing at your wrists he raised them up against the tiles above your head, as he captured your lips with his. Biting and deepening the kiss without a second thought did he press his front against yours. Keeping you pinned and nowhere to go but to beg into his mouth as he refused to give you the air to vocalize it.

Your body arched up into his, with Jon responding with biting down on your bottom lip until you gasped for him. Letting his tongue slide into your mouth, he spared no time brushing up against yours as your stances both allowed his cock to slip between your legs. Pressed up against your soaking core you whined and hands tensed against his hold, but never even considered leaving his kiss for a moment.

Shifting so one hand could hold both wrists, Jon never left your kiss. Guiding you to follow and explore him as much as he did you, did Jon take that distraction to grip his cock. Timing it with perfect cruelty, did Jon part from your lips, saliva traces connecting you as his dark eyes stared down at you at the same instance he shoved his length deep inside your soaking cunt.

The cry from you was beautiful, even better then a single sound he ever heard through his walls or from his imagination. Throbbing already, Jon kept a grip at your hip to steady you. He had thought he’d go slow, but he didn’t. Not at all. Cock dragging against your sensitive walls, your eyes looked up to his with a silent obedience. He loved to watch you, and you obeyed without even a command. Throbbing inside of you more, you responded by clenching so tightly around his cock that he had to make each thrust that much more pounding rough to sink as deep each time.

You were unfairly tight around him, so warm and yet you took his length so well. Jon could barley decide as he roughly pressed his lips to yours once more, if he had just perfectly moulded you into taking his cock alone, or if you had just been born to have Jon sink so deeply inside you every single chance he got.

Part of him bit at your lips as the thought growled through his chest. He should’ve done something about this long ago. He couldn’t even imagine if he had been brave enough years before, kiss you, tell you how he felt. How long he could’ve been making love to you just like this over and over. He throbbed at one thought in particular, but as soon as it drove his mind to see and feel a burning red, did he force it back down.

This was not the time for a thought like that, no matter how much his cock pounding into you rougher and rougher each thrust said otherwise. Maybe he hadn’t pushed it out of his mind, and he fucked you with that very thought overwhelming him so much Jon couldn’t think of anything but filling you. He had time and time again, but he needed to now, and he knew himself enough that he wouldn’t be done at all yet.

Letting go of your wrists, your hands fell down to wrap around the back of his neck, returning his kiss almost as desperate as he felt. Shifting you slightly, Jon cupped the back of your head to keep you attached to his lips as he felt his end come without notice. Disconnecting your lips he looked into your hooded eyes as his hands gripped at you bruising, each thick spurt of seed that filled you deeply. “Jon..”

His eyes almost rolled into the back of his head. Roughly meeting you again to kiss you, Jon before his seed even was done pouring inside of you, did Jon begin to pound so much rougher, faster too. “I’d make you cum so much that they’d never get it out of their heads. They’d never be able to think of anyone but you for the rest of their lives, knowing they can’t have you.”

The moment you clenched around him so tight, Jon knew you were lost. Dragging you to hide in his neck, Jon gripped the back of your hair tightly as he gave you little mercy. Hips slapping quick against yours each time his cock sunk inside of you again and again, rasping through gritted teeth as it felt as if you rolled from one orgasm to another with how much Jon refused to ease up. “You belong to me, but I belong to you too, darling. I’m yours.” Barley did you nod, nails clawing at his back as you came for what felt like a third time.

Barley having come down from his own, the moment your third orgasm clenched around him did Jon feel too overwhelmed to hold back. Roughly muttering in your ear that he loves you, Jon’s seed hot and thick, spilled inside of you again as deep as he could. The hand at your hair shifted to press at your ass, force you to keep his cock as deep as he could until there was nothing left.

Minutes passed before he pulled away to look at you, both heaving to catch your breath, your hands still around the back of his neck but now clinging so sweetly as you looked wide eyed up to him, Jons the same right back. Not yet even pulling out of you, he muttered gently, “Do you want to lay down and I’ll finish here?”

Shaking your head, Jon found a soft grin come over him. Leaning to run his nose along the length of yours as you so sweetly ran your fingers through his curls. “Could I do it?”

That time, Jons grin was even brighter. Nudging your nose more playfully until you nudged back. “Whatever you want.”

By the time you had washed and rinsed his hair, did Jon carefully lean down to run the same cloth you used before on him, to run tenderly between your legs. His lips pressing a kiss to your mound before finally turning the water off. No one was around when he got you out of the shower and into his room.

Jon stood there bare as before, hands running along your hips with nothing perverse about the ask this time. “Do you want to get dressed?” Your brows raised in a surprise as he cupped your cheek to run this thumb over the soft skin. “I’d rather have you just like this, but it’s up to you.”

He couldn’t keep the adoration at bay, the shy way you nodded. Wanting to lay in his bed, in his arms as bare as he was still. Curling you into his front, you snuggled more naturally seeking out his warmth as his arms wrapped around to shield you from the world. It was a surprise when you said it, but the lulling tone spoke that perhaps your mind said it when falling asleep, not wanting Jon to hear what you no doubt thought was embarrassing in your waking hours. “I thought it was normal..”

Letting his face rest in your hair, something prideful filling his chest at how you always let him use his shampoo on you instead of yours, so that some part of you smelled like him in the mornings. “What?”

But you said the second part so much more asleep, fading out until you were peaceful in his arms. “Men hate cuddling after..had other girls to see..”

Jon didn’t need you awake to know what you meant. He knew Ramsay never stayed, and he learned from you directly in a great upset that morning that you knew he left to go see other girls, and now he had a hateful suspicion that Karl did the same. Part of him felt a clawing anger that both men could ever treat you like you were disposable, but another part of Jon just held you tighter.

Of course you thought Jon would’ve left you after that week, no man you’d ever been with before him had taught you anything other then you were just an object to fuck. Something to come home too and use before fucking off again with someone they liked better.

It had been less then a week at that point since he came home from the mess he caused, and as he fell asleep that night, Jon knew that he’d spend every day as long as it took, to prove not only that he would never do the same to you, but also to teach you what love felt like. Because Jon knew with no question as early as then, that his love for you was never going away, and he’d do anything to make sure you knew that from now on.

Now though, with almost two months passed, it seemed things were better. Jon had more opened up to you, and you to him finally finding a way to freely talk between you about everything, what it all made you feel and whatnot. Sat at the table in the kitchen, Jon had been picking away at the food in front of him across from Theon when Robb came home early in the afternoon for once.

Making his way into the kitchen as well, he clearly had been looking around before coming in the room. Looking to the two of them asking where you were, Jons eyes flickered up with the ever so slightest of narrowing towards him whereas Theon didn’t pick up on anything between either. “With Margaery and Sansa.” Moving to get food of his own, he continued to ask short questions, this time when you’d be back and again Theon answered in what he seemed to think was Jons natural silence. “Don’t know.”

Piping up between bites did Jon finally add in, “They’ll probably be at the house first for a while when they come back. Something Sansa said about giving her a break from all of us.” Theon glanced towards him with a bit of amusement that Jon could agree with. Even without everything else, living here with three men had to drive you crazy sometimes. No matter what you’d always argue against. He was glad you had someone like Margaery around, and with Sansa joining more too now, it made Jon feel relieved. That you could spend time away from the house with other girls, considering how little female friends you had growing up before.

Sitting down at a free space, Robb’s eyes found Jons for a moment before he too settled into his food. Only giving enough away that still there was something he was not saying, and Jon was getting rather fed up with his brother not saying anything about what this really was tense between them lately.

“Even if he is, he can’t be mad at you for that.”

Your eyes looked up in doubt. Flickering over to where Margaery sat, only to be found with a bright eyed knowing look at said she was going to side against you on that no matter what you then tried to argue. “It wouldn’t be the first time I did something like that.”

On the other couch from you beside her though, Sansa fully disagreed. Narrowed eyes, while in the direction of you, certainly spoke instead that it was an emotion directed at the subject not present of the discussion. “No, I meant he can’t be mad, meaning he has no right.” Your brows narrowed but she only looked at you with wider eyes, imploring you to just listen to her. “Do you know how many times over the years my father had to pick all three of them up from wherever they were because they had gotten so drunk they couldn’t drive? Or how often either Jory or Rodrick would drop them off in the middle of the night because they were causing trouble completely wasted in public?”

Your head tilted to the side for a moment, something almost akin to a smirk wanting to form for a moment as you thought it over. You didn’t know much of it, but enough from normally Theon to know that the few years on and off you spent going to schools in Kings Landing had given the three of them ample opportunity to get themselves into non stop trouble. Margaery didn’t help however, a knowing grin forming on her face before you could tell her to stop it. “Trust me, we got into plenty of trouble on our own.” Glancing to the curious look on Sansa’s face she only laughed. “You’d know if you weren’t such a goody two shoes in high school.”

The open mouthed audacity on Sansa’s face had you looking away trying not to laugh. Only could she protest that she was not, but you couldn’t help yourself. “Oh yes you were. How often did you even get punished for something?”

Her face squished together trying to find something to argue back with, but both of you knew that if it were between the sisters it was Arya who was the only one to be caught getting into mischief. Crossing both her arms, you and Margaery only could laugh as you leaned back, eyes trailing around the room.

The main home of the Starks was always so much larger then you remembered everytime you were there. Records of the family history said that thousands of years ago, it was the place of a castle but as times changed, some centuries ago did the property change with it. The different sections of land turned into different properties, and the main living space turned into a well build house that better then any southern places, stood the test of time. Even the room you were in looked nothing like it did years ago, but was in just as good shape.

Most of the Starks had their bedrooms on the second floor, with Ned and Catelyn having theirs to themselves on the third. But once more and more children began filling the rooms, did Jon volunteer himself to move into the basement. It too was large and expansive, a hall leading down to multiple rooms and the largest at the end had been taken as Jons bedroom.

In those years it looked drastically different. It was darker in the colours around, less cluttered with things but always filled with personality. One space was sat a very well taken care of guitar that he only seemed to ever be willing to bring out once he was sure everyone else in the house was asleep and wouldn’t hear him. By his TV was there a chair which seemed to normally be occupied by Ghost, and a love seat made from a surprisingly soft leather where for so many occasions as teenagers, you’d sit on one end with your feet draped over his lap, and Jon facing you on the other end. With his longer legs usually perched against the small space next to you somewhat bent by the knee as if you’d have needed permission from him to even get up.

The room was the coldest in the house, but it was made up for how there sat a fireplace, which was eventually where he set up the space for Ghost specifically when they got the direwolves. That space at least was still in use. The bed was new, but the area was tailored for Sansa’s own direwolf, Lady. Who laid there as you all sat down there that late afternoon. If not a bit larger for the times inevitably Arya’s wolf Nymeria would come down to join her sister.

Overall now it was mostly decorated by Sansa, who was glad to have found a new use for the area instead of what their father intended, which was to go back to using it as a storage space when Jon was the first to move out. Now painted in more light colours, throws and chairs and fairy lights around to make it somewhere that with the two of them down here with you, felt more calm. At least in contrast to the apartment currently, which had become the topic of discussion when you seemed less then enthusiastic about going back right away.

That was when the two had pried, and came to the discussion you were having now as Sansa directed you all back on track. “So you got drunk months ago and left the feast, then two months ago you got too drunk and he had to pick you up from a bar. If he’s mad at you for that, then that’s not your problem, it’s Robbs.”

Wanting to curl in on yourself, you sighed deeply in a doubt that they both could see. “Maybe it’s not just that. I mean, he had to be the one to put up with me the most those first few days when..”

Trailing off not wishing to retread an unpleasant discussion in front of them, but you should’ve known Margaery would be the one to drag it out into the open with a bitter spite about it. “You mean when the Targaryean showed up and tried to ruin your life?” Your voice shortly warning her by name only to be trampled over with more indigence on your behalf. “No, don’t do that. Don’t downplay what happened. I told you, you can sit there and blame yourself all you like, but you know better then anyone that I can spot when a woman is trying to worm her way into a mans life just to fuck over another woman she doesn’t like.”

“You’re being-”

Cutting you off again, Margaery only got more angry. “You do get that, don’t you? That the only reason Jon had to go with her that week, is because she demanded it. You said her advisor was the Lord Commanders son, you don’t think she probably manipulated both of them into ensuring she could take Jon from you for a week because she was stupid enough to think all men want to fuck her?”

Your own eyes tried to tell her to ease up, Sansa beside her didn’t help. “My father has talked about her a few times since then, and everything he says matches all that. She tries to manipulate people into thinking she’s kind and nice and perfect, but she’s just a-”

Voice overpowering them both with more of a shout, “Alright, I get what you’re trying to say. I appreciate the work on my behalf, but it’s just not that complicated. If that’s what happened, if this was really all because she tried to do this on purpose just to hurt me, then why wouldn’t Jon have just told me that? Why not say it, and then he wouldn’t have had to spend the past two months acting as if he was responsible for it all?”

But it was not either who answered, but a new voice coming around the corner with the same level of frustration in her voice that Sansa and Margaery had. “Because he would never give himself an out about you. He can’t make her apologize to you, so he takes all the blame and responsibility.” Glancing over your shoulder, you watched as Arya quickly walked into the room and flung herself into one of the soft chairs by you, her eyes narrowed as her voice sounded. “Jon would rather take the blame and do the work then make you think he was looking for excuses to make up for that week.”

A stare off occurred between you both for a moment before you tried to come back with what reason you could only see. “Let’s pretend that’s true.” Arya shouting right away that it was only for you to sternly talk over her into letting you speak. “Just humour me. Pretending that is one hundred percent the truth, what you three are saying, how is any of that supposed to help me figure out why Robb is the one mad at me now?”

That time the quiet lasted for a beat longer, for once the gentle tones of music low that Sansa had playing in the background was heard. Which amusingly did not match the tenseness now in the room between the four of you. Both sisters looked at the other, and in a language that neither you nor Margaery picked up on seemed to come to a conclusion that Sansa was now talking around. “Boys are stupid.”

Arya though, unable to help herself only smirked at her sister. “Yeah, that’s why you don’t date them anymore.” Her sister shouting Arya’s name, she only laughed to herself.

Sansa looking away trying to not act as if she was close to doing the same. “Anyways, I was saying. Boys are stupid when they get protective. You’ve always been like family to us, and Robb is just being stupid because he doesn’t know how else to express that he was worried about you then to be annoying about it. Which is no different then when he’s been worried about when me or Arya had a problem.” You were quiet though, only prompting her to lean forward in your direction. “What?”

Things you didn’t want to say to any of them, not sure if it was true what you thought you were noticing but also just in general as if it would sound like you were just gossiping. But your face had twisted downward enough that there was no hiding something else was on your mind and now with Arya and Sansa both here, they wouldn’t let you leave until you said it. For once, Margaery was amusingly, the one who respected your want for privacy the most as she watched you in thoughtful silence.

It came out less then confident, but you still said it. “That doesn’t explain why for the past few weeks, he and Jon have been acting as if they’re angry with the other everytime I’m in the room with both of them.”

Attention fighting down to look mindlessly at the nails that both girls had earlier in the day insist you get done with them, did you miss the even more significant glance between sisters, only for them to glance at a knowing Margaery, who only tilted her head as it confirming their silent suspensions.

Things the three realized, were a little more complicated then you were at all picking up on it seemed.

Your focus was always zeroed in on whatever it was you were doing at the time, concentration all but locked onto your task with little awareness of your surroundings. Sometimes things could make it a bit easier. None of the guys were around when you had gotten in, and when looking at the time you figured it was easiest to just start making food and if they appeared then there would be a plate ready for them.

It had nearly startled you into jumping with a gasp when a hand came and nudged at the side of your head accompanied by Theon’s voice. “Not your night.”

Only muttering back with the slightest of smirks you replied, “No, it’s yours. But you weren’t here.”

Your hands pausing their chopping, you looked up to the side at him with a raised brow, Theon only staring back before rolling his eyes in a manner you knew he didn’t really mean. “I’ll do the sides.” The smirk not quite smothered as you said a thank you and returning your focus.

It was easy with Theon at least, he was more of a talker then you, but he knew how keep a conversation going when appealing to your strengths and it helped keep your mind from solely focusing to the point you noticed nothing around you. You hadn’t thought much of it though, when the sensation of a large head bumping into you by the back of your knees hit you.

Twisting to look down, did you see not one, but two very expecting direwolves looking up at you in anticipation. Glancing to Theon who pretended not to notice, did you grab some more sizable pieces of already cooked meat you had out, kneeling down with the hand holding it in the air. “Ah, ah, you both know better.”

Greywind and Ghost glanced at one another before sitting down properly. Waiting a few seconds, did you transfer one into each hand allowing them both to take some, shamelessly chomping it down right there, as if expecting that you were going to pet them after, which you did.

The chuckle filling the room was warm, and not quite speaking to you but you could hear the grin as he no doubt nodded down to you. “Never met anyone whose as soft for them as her.”

Instinctively, your eyes glanced up to Robb in a playful glare. “Perhaps you are just too strict.”

Both wolves satisfied, were motioned out of the kitchen from Robb as you pushed yourself up to get back to work. “It’s not your night.” Theon gave you the out, that he was late so you started already. Sensing what he was about to do, you warned his name only for Robb to laugh. “I didn’t do anything.”

While that was true, you knew him better then that. “I’m almost done, just leave it.”

His hands in the air, you for a moment felt better. That whatever the girls had all said that afternoon might not be accurate, that things were fine. Robb seemed in good spirits, and the two of them could talk as you finished everything else up. You heard footsteps, but again, thought little of it until a warm body found it’s way close to your back. One gentle along your hair with a slight pull to get the loose strands out of your way, and his other reached around to sit along your wrist, tapping at the back of your hand without enough to disrupt you working. His rasp comforting in your ear, “These look pretty.”

The small smile tried to hide itself but no doubt Jon saw it as he moved to lean his side against the counter right beside you. “You can thank your sister for that, she picked the colours.” Jon only jesting lightly that of course she did, and your head turned to the side with a glint in your eye at the unspoken tease that you weren’t good at that so of course you deferred to Sansa’s judgment.

Without a second thought, as soon as you begun putting everything onto plates, Jon muttered in your ear as he made a passing grab by your hip to emphasize his point. “I’ll do this, sit.” In truth, you had a strange feeling you weren’t meant to notice it, nor did you think Theon was supposed to either given his expression.

The moment your eyes found the table, did you see Robb, but there was something more of a dark glare within them as you knew his eyes tracked right over to where Jon was. Your face fell just a little, and yet it seemed both brothers sensed they were watched closely and whatever mask was being put up, slipped just a bit.

Jons hand hovered a bit over Robbs spot, as if contemplating letting it drop roughly until Robb grabbed it more aggressively from him. Your eyes finally found Theons, who narrowed in the same confusion but without the shine of guilt which washed over yours. You knew when this started, and you couldn’t stop that feeling the entire meal. Something was tense between the two of them, and you knew it had all started after the night Robb had to pick you up from a bar.

When everyone was done, abruptly right before anyone could say anything, you started grabbing empty plates with a tense mutter. “You three are busy, I’ll deal with this.” Jon instantly called your name in a protest but you had already faced away from them at the sink without a thought. Only turning back to the table to clear the rest. Whomever was hovering in the room you didn’t want to think about it yet, that sting sat deep and bitter in your stomach. That again, it was your fault.

It wasn’t until halfway through did you sense Jon coming up behind you, the room now clear but you no doubt if judging by how close he stood with his hands gentle at your hips, leaning over your shoulder to look at you better. “Do you want to talk about whats bothering you?”

Your head rose only slightly to look at a spot on the wall, how instantly did Jon wonder if you were the one with something wrong and not something you caused. Shaking your head you could only hope your voice was convincing, but Jon knew better, and you knew that too. “Everything’s fine.”

One of those hands on your hips slowly slunk around your front, wrapping by your stomach and only pulling you back into him as he stepped forward to press properly against your back. “We both know that’s not true.” You shrugged one shoulder, wanting to just brush it off before you took pause. The gentle sensation like a current flowing through you as Jon pressed his lips to your neck. A sweet and slow peck, then another upwards, before making a chaste path with his lips to your ear as he rasped only enough for you. “If it’s something I can help with..”

Trailing off as he clearly picked up on the way you roughly swallowed, and the manner you were tense as you shook your head. The hand on your hip running up to your waist and back down, he was sure to listen to you, but you knew it was so he could pick up where he knew was a lie. “It’s fine, Jon. It’s just a me problem.”

You hated so much that Jon didn’t even hesitate to say it. “Which makes it my problem too.” For a moment you let yourself feel the warmth around you. Leaning back a bit into his touch, you sighed deeply in something emotionally exhausted, as Jon kissed the side of your head before resting against yours in matching. “Let me take you for a drive tonight.”

“Where?”

That time you felt him shrug, but without the weight you had before. “Anywhere. I feel like I leave you alone here too much, let’s get you some fresh air that doesn’t also smell like a nail salon.” You couldn’t see the brightness in his grey eyes looking over to you as you burst into an easy laughter. A small whine coming from behind, as you both turned your heads to see the excited face of Ghost. As if he had sensed Jon say the phrase go for a drive and got excited. “Alright, let me take both of you out for a drive tonight.”

Leaning more into him, you felt Jon turn his head enough to press his lips to your hair once more as you smiled a bit with something genuine. “I think I like the sounds of that.”

Muttering as he pushed off from you, “Good. You finish here, and I’ll get a few things ready.” Agreeing, you heard Jon and Ghost leave the room and thought little more for the time being of the tenseness from dinner. And yet that tenseness was exactly what was playing out just beyond your hearing on the other side of bedrooms in the apartment.

Leaning against the frame of his door, Jons voice was low enough that only it could be heard within the room. “If there’s something you want to say to me Robb, I’d rather you just say it.” Both knew he meant about you. Turning where he sat by his desk, Robb just looked up to him with a sharp expression as if trying to assess his brother.

“You want to know what’s wrong?” Jon only nodded once, but the moment Robb said your name he took a step forward and closed the door as Robb stood up. “Do you know what it’s like, having to watch you pretend as if everything is fine with you two?” Jon felt a wave of confusion as if he had no idea what he was talking about, forcing him to elaborate. “You come home after what you put her through, say you’re sorry and that’s it? You don’t pay any consequences for how you made her feel?”

Jon turned his head, a warning not to push him on this as his grey eyes darkened. “You have no idea what you’re saying.” Robb only pressing that didn’t he, but Jon felt something flow through his veins that was tinged with more of an anger. “What would you know about how I spend my time with her? Or what I’ve done to make up for all of that?”

Only, what came out of Robbs mouth even to him, very much had the air around it as if it slipped out without meaning too. “All you’ve done to make up for forcing her think you were willing to fuck someone else, was to just start fucking her more.”

The room was as silent as it could get. Robb right away glanced away with something of guilt for what he had said, but Jon stood there with that anger burning hotter and hotter. He wanted to make it sound as easy as that, as uncomplicated as that when he had no idea. Robb didn’t understand what Jon was like with you, why you two were the way you were. He didn’t understand that Jon didn’t just take you to bed for the fun of it, it meant so much more then that to him.

But was he willing to explain that to Robb of all people? No, he wasn’t sure he was willing, or even came close to wanting too. “I know what this is.”

A doubt splashed Robbs face as it amused by his confidence. “Do you?”

Turning his head slightly, a disbelief flashed in his eyes as Jons tone matched in a low and dangerous warning. “You wanted me to come home and fix things with her. You wanted me to pursue her in the first place. How many times over the years did you tell me to kiss her already and get it over with? You wanted her to be with me, and now you’re mad that I’m trying to move on from where I screwed up?”

They could only stare at one another as Jon knew for a fact Robb didn’t have anything to say against that in spirit. He wasn’t blind, he knew what this was. He could see it on his brothers face and he hated how angry it made him. Almost as angry as he felt knowing Robb wasn’t even brave enough to say it.

Muttering low, Robb kept his calm far better then Jon was. “I never told you to hurt her.”

Jon could see it, hear it. The things he learned, what men who knew Karl Tanner told him, what he knew of Viserys Targaryean, what he had to endure every night Ramsay Bolton stayed over with you, he knew none of what men before Jon had put you through. Robb only saw Jon as the problem, and refused to accept that he didn’t have to put the work into fixing things with you right before his eyes for such events to even be taking place.

One step forward was taken, Jons face twisting into something still on edge but perhaps a bit on the side of pleading. “You want to be mad at me? Go ahead.” Bringing up your name with a strain in his voice as Robb looked away. “But don’t take it out on me in front of her. You’re only making her upset, and she doesn’t need that right now.” About to leave, Jon barley let his head turn to call out to him once more. “I’m going out tonight with her and Ghost, so you don’t need to let him out later.”

If Robb said anything in return, Jon had let the door close roughly behind him before it could hit his hears. Hand still on the handle as his jaw clenched, eyes closing long enough to let out a breath. “The fucks wrong with you two lately?”

Eyes flying open he looked over to Theon, who was not blind to the anger flowing through Jons person nor the tension from this side of the apartment in general. “Nothing.”

Theon raised an eyebrow, a scoff leaving as he crossed his arms leaning against the wall. “No? Suppose then it’s a coincidence you two looked like you wanted to kill each other at dinner.” Again, Jon just rebuffed that it wasn’t anything to worry about, and again, Theon laughed like he did not buy that for a single moment. “Right. That’s why you nearly broke Robbs door slamming it shut. Also, she’s waiting for you.”

Nodding down the hall despite nothing to see, did he pass Jon by with nothing resentful in his tone and he could at least have that. That not everyone in this place was angry with him. Running a hand over his mouth, Jon let the nerves loosen before seeking you out. He needed to keep this as far from you as possible, he knew how you’d react and he couldn’t bear to watch you blame yourself for anything else that wasn’t your fault.

Seeking you out though, for a moment Jon could let all of that fall to the wayside, the smile you gave looking up from where you were petting and scratching at Ghosts excited ears. “Are you ready?”

Jon only smiled, leaning down to join as he ran his hands over the direwolf’s back more firmly. “Give me one more minute, I have something else I need to grab.” Asking as he stood if you wanted him to get Ghost in the car for him, Jon only laughed as he held his hands out. Grasping your smaller ones he pulled you with no effort up onto your feet. “Don’t let him knock you to the ground.”

Instead of letting you go, Jon looked at you. What he argued with Robb over, not a single inch near his mind in that moment. One hand trailed up to cup your cheek before gently pulling you up to meet his lips leaning down. Nothing deep or even long, but a chaste kiss that lingered as your eyes took a bit to open as he looked over you. Thumb running along your cheek as his other hand let you go to pass around you. “I’ll be right there.”

Digging into a drawer, did Jons phone go off. A simple message he had sent Tormund answering that he figured out what Robb seemed pissed off about, but Jon was completely taken back by the response he now looked at, Jon only looked up for a moment. He knew you were outside, no one was looking at him, but still. The nerves of anger before were nothing like these ones.

A follow up text told him that it wasn’t a joke, Tormund just suggested that as if it wasn’t something that glued Jons feet and heart to the floor for a moment. Putting it to sleep, Jon forced himself to put his phone away, trying to shake off everything filling him in that moment as he finally grabbed what he needed.

Jon came in here to for one thing, only to leave with a mind filled with thoughts of another he wished Tormund never put in his head. Certainly not now of all times, not when it truly was in the strictest terms, a way to make his territory known.

Worse off, the smile you gave him when he met you by the car only made Jon force himself to push the thought deep down, that he didn’t at all hate the idea. Not by a long shot.

He wondered if he should head back. The drive was very much needed, you and Jon had a chance to just talk, laugh, no one else around as he drove you through the wide, expansive North. At one point you both had stopped, giving Ghost a chance to do his business when you both walked a bit in the meantime. Coming up on a large pond, there was enough of a section like a beach that you could both stand there together.

Jon had at one point picked you up and teased that he would drop you in the water when Ghost had happily splashed around you both, barking freely in a playfulness that Jon told you was the direwolf saying he should drop you. Instead he had more gently dropped you down onto the grass behind you both, resting more on your sides until a certain someone had decided to shake his fur out right beside you both.

It was some of the easiest times with you Jon always had. Just you both out in the North somewhere with Ghost, no expectations of any sort. All of you getting to just act exactly as you liked. Finally he had found a good destination to stop at, a more cliffside view overlooking the wolfswood. Not even leaving the car, did Jon move everything to pull you into his side, where he was now.

Curled more into his chest, one hand gently holding at the top of his shirts collar as if asking him not to leave yet, you had slowly fallen asleep. Ghost had drifted in and out until he heard the direwolf yawn in the backseat. His head moving to slip by you both as it to rest against your side as you slept against Jons.

The time said he should head back, but he’d have to risk waking you up to do that and he wasn’t so sure he was willing to part just yet with that. Instead, his mind drifted to what he figured out beyond a shadow of a doubt that night.

When this started he wasn’t sure, but it seemed it had exploded the night Robb picked you up from a bar. He was jealous. He was jealous that Jon was with you. Separated from the tenseness of home, Jon had two minds about it. One side of him actually understood. Looking down to you, Jon let the hand not wrapped around you, move to brush your loose hair behind your ear, his fingers tracing along your cheek as he lingered.

Jon had never gone a day in his life knowing you where he didn’t think you were beautiful. The first time he ever saw you as a boy he thought you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen, and that only increased the more his feelings did. You were smart and sweet too, somehow a mixture of stern and to the point but also sweet and gentle hearted in private. Jon knew what his brother would’ve seen in you, because Jon had never gone a day in his life where he didn’t see it all over again.

But the other part of him, was angry. Jon fucked up. He never denied that, he knew taking off was the worst thing he could’ve done and he had spent every moment since making sure you knew he was never going to treat you like that again. Things had been great since. You settled into being with Jon more after that, realizing together that he wasn’t going anywhere and he wasn’t judging everything you did. You were even easing more and more into feeling comfortable telling him you loved him.

Yet that was why he was angry. Jon knew he screwed up badly, and things had been for the better since trying to remedy his own mistake. But Robb either refused to see it or didn’t care and was just holding it against him. Somewhere along the line, his brother started to look at you differently, and let that protectiveness of that one night overtake everything before that.

He loved his brother, and Jon knew Robb loved him back. They’d always have the other no matter what, but this was a new obstacle that was as unique as it was sensitive. Robb wanted to judge Jon for the worst thing he did with you, and take it as that was all the relationship would ever be. Jon had known you for so many years, and yet these past few months you both had opened up to each other more then your whole lives.

It was as if being with the other meant there was a whole new person to meet and fall in love with all over again. Jon adored every second of it, and he refused to let Robb suddenly feeling jealous to overpower that.

Robb had many relationships in his life, Jon only ever had one. Robb dated women in and out as soon as he was old enough to kiss a girl before finally tiring of that sort of serial dating and put it to the wayside ever since. Jon only ever had one relationship before, and it was in the two years you last went away to Kings Landing, and later a few months in Essos, that it even happened.

Jon didn’t really have that much interest in her, but he had moved out, he was still new in the Nights Watch and thus was spending either all of his time at his station or beyond the Wall and barley had the time to talk to you anyways. It was desperate. He missed his family and friends, but he knew he missed you more and he wanted to pretend as if he could date like normal, like Robb did. He was desperately in love with you, but was so far from being with you that he couldn’t stand it, and faked it with someone who was not kind to him, to the determent of his own mental health.

By the time it was coming to an end, he was lost. He never told his family what exactly had gone on, all they knew was he was in a relationship with a girl beyond the Wall, that ever since it started Jon was miserable and angry and not himself, and that despite Jon never saying much about her or bringing her even close to around the Starks, they knew enough. Benjen had spilled most of that to them one day that the girl he was dating was a lot less kind then Jon was letting on, and the same night his father invited Jon over to talk about it finally, did the news reach that you were moving back to the North and found a place right by Winterfell.

He told you very little about it, but the morning you were said to come back, Jon called you promising he’d pick you up from White Harbour. By the time you got there that night, he had broken up with Ygritte in the mere hours between the call, and him arriving at the docks. And he never looked back afterwards. Hand still running over your cheek, Jon could remember it easily.

The way you looked around as if doubting that he was going to be there, before he spotted you. Not a care in the world he had when Jon had practically spun you around in a hug before putting your feet back to the ground. It was the first time he had smiled like that in years.

This was it. You were each others first true chance at this, at love. And as Jon sat there, as much as he understood why his brother begun feeling that way, he too felt angry that his brother didn’t even see how selfish it was. He had every chance to find a girl he loved, and Robb seemed to let his stubborn nature get in the way of the fact that by choosing to focus so much on you, he wanted to take away the first time you or Jon ever had at a relationship that made you feel loved and happy.

Jon eventually chose not to wake you up, carefully moving enough so that you could sleep resting in his lap as he drove home. A hand constantly running through your hair at every red light he’d hit. He didn’t want to make things tense for you, nor did he want to damage his own relationship with Robb but he wasn’t going to let this happen.

Carrying you into the house, you still hadn’t woken up, but when Jon finally got into bed with you, you curled into his front all the same. Jon just wished you could’ve been spared, and stayed oblivious to the tension between the two brothers.

Since Jon had absolutely no idea what he was going to do about any of it.

These nights were rare, everyone gathered at the house for such long periods of time. But it was always taken advantage of by everyone. It was funny at first, when the topic came up of a family dinner in the main Stark house, and how all three of them had given you the same look when you had commented that it would be weird having to make food only enough for yourself that night.

Theon had been the one to say it as bluntly as possible, “I’m sorry Baratheon, did you hit your head or are you really that stupid thinking you’re not coming?” Looking wide eyed at them with a stammer leading to nothing, did he smirk. “If you didn’t show up with us, all that would happen is Bran, Arya, and Rickon would all storm in here and guilt trip you into coming over anyways.”

Jon hadn’t come close to saying it, but he thought you were adorable in that moment. As if dating him had suddenly made you invade on his family life when you weren’t supposed to. As if his father hadn’t looked at you like one of his own since you were a girl anyways. Now, with everything in the kitchen still cooking, it gave the Stark siblings a chance to all hang around together in the main room.

You had yet to actually shed that worrisome nature, like you were now the overbearing girlfriend tagging along to her boyfriends every event. Almost as soon as you got in the door, did you go to help Catelyn in the kitchen and Jon hadn’t even seen you since. Everyone else preoccupied with something, Jon had found a moment just sitting forward on the couch, a smirk as he watched Bran and Rickon both try and take on Robb and Theon in a fight, the later two tied between playing weaker for amusement or getting the upper hand with ease for a laugh.

Jon had simply given instructions from the side to his little brothers, both of whom took his words seriously as if this was a training session. A weight sat next to him on the couch, only for the low rumble of his fathers voice hit his ears alone. “Since I already know about this one, do I finally get to hear anything about it?”

Jons brows furrowed for only half a second before it dawned on him. It was perhaps not the right approach, but his eyes flickered to Robb for a moment when he said it. “I would’ve thought Robb told you about it already.”

Ned Stark though was not a man who gave up easily against his sons own stubborn nature. A small wack on the back did he prompt him to get up with him, “Come on.”

It was a small bar like area off the main dining room, a wide frame leading into the kitchen where if Jon strained himself, he would just be able to hear you and Catelyn talking over everything else in the kitchen running. Reaching a hand out, Jon took a second to again register what he meant, before handing his father the glass in his hand. That time filling it up with something a bit stronger then what everyone else had been all drinking before in the main room.

Filling his own as Jon took a first sip, a bit of a wince wanting to come over him for how strong it was only to find a similar held back expression hiding behind his fathers face too. Leaning against one end of the bar, his father came over to the other matching his posture before asking what he really wanted to ask. “Are things alright with her?” Nodding towards the kitchen. “As soon as she got her jacket off she’s been with Cat instead of out there with you.”

Jons face twisted into a troubled frown at first. Looking down into the amber liquid in his glass, contemplating taking another drink before deciding against it just yet. His voice was a low rasp for no one to accidentally hear the much more frustrated tone he finally allowed himself to have. “We’re good. We’re better then good.” The huff of a smile on his face didn’t meet his eyes, but what existed was real all the same.

Ned only watched his son in knowing quiet, that if he were to interrupt before Jon could get his thoughts out in full, he may just shut down about the details all together.

Which after a moment, Jon continued. “When I was driving back from the Shadow Tower, I was terrified I screwed up too badly. I left her for a week when she needed me, and I thought that was it. My one chance with the girl I’d been in love with my whole life and it took me barley over a month to ruin it.” That time, the sip Jon took was noticeably larger then the one before. “But..she gave me a chance. Let me make it up to her, prove I could do better then that.”

His father didn’t even hesitate to further more close off that manner of thinking, just the way Jon knew you would were he honest about it all. “You made a mistake, Jon. She was never going to hate you forever over one mistake.”

It was a mutter, but of course he heard. “A mistake that nearly spiralled her out of control.”

Leaning over, Ned grabbed the bottle he had used and refilled Jons depleting glass as well as his, if just to get him through this conversation, which even though he didn’t say it, Jon was thankful for. “I’ve made many mistakes in my life, never any bad enough to push people away for good. Which means I knew you two would get passed this. I raised you better then to make a mistake worse then anything I ever did.”

Perhaps it was an attempt at trying to ease his own tension, but Jon muttered into the glass with a bit of a jesting tone, “No idea what that might be.” Just as the words silenced, did both hear the faint sounds of Catelyn from the kitchen as she said something muffled to you. Only causing both men to smirk just the slightest.

Jon didn’t meet his fathers eyes, only staying halfway between the glass in his hand and the ground but he always listened intently. “Listen, I don’t know what Danaerys Targaryean was trying to do with you that week, and I can’t speak for anyone else, but I never thought something was going to happen.” Gesturing to the kitchen again, “I’ve seen you be in love with her since the day Stannis and Robert brought her up for her first Winter Harvest. The second she walked in house, I thought I was going to have to call Maester Luwin because you looked like you were having a heart attack.”

That time, the smile and laugh was far more real. He remembered that vividly.

“Then after the feast was over, when everyone outside was starting to dance, I noticed she had walked away from her family and was trailing around outside watching everyone like she wanted to join in. I came over to her, asking if she wanted someone to dance with and she said she didn’t know the one they were doing. So I said to her that you could teach her.” Jon finally turned to look over at his father, something confused in his mind as his memory of that night came nowhere near that, only for Ned to chuckle fondly. Eyes distant in his own memory that time. “If you can believe it, she was too shy.”

Jons chuckle was only stopped by one thought, and perhaps it was found out of a certain brother of his once more trying to get in where Jon had thought was his, even if back then it was nothing like that. “She came the next year and knew how, who taught her?”

If his father sensed Jons worry about the answer, it was more obvious there was a worry in general when his shoulders greatly deflated right away. “Benjen. Overheard, and said that because I was a married man, she needed a real dance partner.”

He could imagine that so easily. You would’ve been what, he thought, eight? You were tiny then, his uncle probably had just picked you up and danced with you that way instead of leaning all the way down just to meet your then tiny height. “I never knew that.”

Straight to the point his father was, “You danced with her every year after that until you were what? Fourteen?” That was not wrong, it was when Jons feelings for you had started to turn a lot more serious, a lot more adult. And playfully dancing with you at the Winter Harvest started to suddenly feel more romantic when other boys his age were dancing with girls because they were dating, and he didn’t want to so easily give away how he felt.

Either way, his father came around to his main point. “What I’m getting at Jon, is that you two have been dancing around each other ever since. It was always going to end up here. You’re good for each other. You make her happy, and she makes you happy. Sometimes that’s enough.”

Nodding, Jon looked back up into the kitchen as if wishing for a glimpse of you only for them all to be properly called to the table. Patting him on the back once, Ned parted ways before making his way into the kitchen and out of his sight.

Left alone, Jon looked over his glass before a deep sigh left him. Downing what remained in the glass, he had only just twisted to sit it on the top of the bar counter before he heard you only a few feet away from him. “Having me here that bad?”

That time, Jon knew right away you were teasing. The brightness in your eyes as you leaned against the frame looking over at him. Pushing up off the counter he made his way over to you, a hand held out for you to gently grasp. Pulling you into his front the moment you did, your hands grasped at his forearms while he held at your waist. “You were supposed to come over with us and enjoy yourself.”

You only shrugged, something telling Jon that perhaps you were stretching the truth a bit. “I did, I like cooking you know that.”

A smile came over Jons face, forcing one hand on his arm to release as he moved it up to brush the hair by the side of your face back to cup with his hand, feeling you somewhat lean in to his touch. A joke or two sat on his tongue, but Jon took the path of neither. Instead choosing to lean down, watching your eyes flutter closed right away as you let him press his lips to yours. Cupping both cheeks, your hands held at his waist. It was nothing urgent. A chaste kiss that didn’t go too deep, but kept you to his lips for longer then decency permitted. Which seemed to be the issue as a cleared throat caused Jon to pull away from you.

The ever displeased eyes of Catelyn looked at him in a heavy disapproval as she nodded to the side where the others were. “I believe it would be appropriate to bring her to the table when dinner is called.”

Your mouth was slightly parted in embarrassment, but Jon nodded. Not really letting go of you, just allowing his hands to slide down to your waist and back as he turned you towards the hall.

The moment Catelyn was out of sight did you look up over at him with a fluster, “I am so-”

Nudging you playfully forward more, Jon let the sudden jarring push cut you off for him. “Don’t be sorry. Just let me make it up to you later.”

You had been smart enough not to ask Jon what he meant, save he gave you another reason to sit down utterly flustered and stammering in front of everyone at the table. Which given you were sat next to Jon but across from Robb, was certainly the better choice. Though, that did not bode well considering it meant both brothers were in eye view of each other as much as they were you.

Perhaps it was a bad idea for you to come. That was what the slow progression of dinner had made you come to realize. You knew that your recklessness had been the thing that begun whatever this rift between brothers was, but you had hoped your very presence wasn’t enough to cause it to grow when so many other people were around.

Only you really noticed it at first, how neither brother seemed willing to speak to one another, but were pleasantly conversing with other people no issue. Quickly did their silence only between each other draw you into more of your own silence. Not the most chatty of the group you ever were, but now more then ever as Jon nor Robb would just talk to the other like normal, did you feel increasingly like you shouldn’t be there. That maybe without you, there wouldn’t be a reminder of this issue you caused between them.

It was obvious whose gaze you felt at one point, but you didn’t bother looking up at her. You didn’t have it in you to tell Sansa or Arya that clearly they’re assurance that everything would be fine wasn’t true and it would only ever reach the actual conclusion that you were the common denominator of a problem anymore. Months you had been the problem, and you seemed to never stop being it.

He was still young, a boy of eleven he had little filter on him and even then, there was still an innocence in why he asked it. Just pure curiosity as to how this sort of dynamic worked when Rickon in a beat of quiet between conversations he had looked over towards yourself and Jon, “Are you going to get married?”

The table growing even more quiet as most cutlery even stopped moving. The only voice was a more stern whispering hiss from Catelyn. “Rickon.” Who only protested that he just wanted to know. Jons eyes were wide and taken off guard as he looked to the eyes on him at the table, yours stuck to your plate unwilling to even meet their expressions at all.

Whatever eyes were trained on you both, you felt as if someone amongst them was making their gaze angry and uncomfortable to even risk looking up at. Luckily, a man acting the calm voice of reason at the best or most awkward of times did Ned be the one to speak up. “They’ve only just started seeing each other. Normally it takes two people a long time to agree to get married.”

But something seemed to have been pinging in the boys mind. Either unsatisfied with the answer, or needing more detail to scratch at that itch making him so curious. “But Jon’s known her for years, isn’t that enough time?”

Arya spoke next, more of a tone drenched in an amusement towards her brother as much as it took on a bit of a lecturing tone. “Father means when they’ve been dating for a long time. Besides, lots of people date and don’t get married.”

“But aren’t they supposed to?” The expressions of most of the Starks were in much more amusement just like Arya. The conversation taking a strange turn but as it was about Jon and yourself, most seemed to feel like they didn’t need to quell it before making anyone uncomfortable. A little bit of that in the Stark household was normal. Arya asking why he thought you two would supposed to get married now of all times, and did not a single person at the table expect the words to come out of Rickons mouth next.

“Because she’s pregnant.”

Without a shadow of a doubt, every single person there was now staring in a wide eyed shock towards you both. Your own mouth parted open in a confused stammer that never developed into words, Jon next to you looking akin to a spooked horse. There was not a word said as everyone looked to you both for an explanation but you sat with something that paralyzed your ability to speak.

The only pair of eyes that weren’t staring at you in a confused shock, were Robbs deep blue ones that as soon as you met them did they dart to Jons in what was an undoubted glare of suspicion.

An attempt to salvage the situation, Ned cleared his throat to ask his youngest where exactly he had heard that but the answer made less sense then before. “Jon was talking about it with someone on his phone.” His little brother turning to him with a more apologetic wince, “I wasn’t looking on purpose..”

Jons own head shifted slightly to the side as if he wished to tell his little brother it was alright but there was an obstacle in his way just like there was you. Only, you didn’t know what that meant, and Jon clearly did despite how little it told you what brought Rickon to this conclusion. Trying to speak through something rough in his throat Jon attempted to simmer down the situation with the most direct truth. “She uh...” Running a hand over his mouth he forced the words out through what everyone could tell was the most uncomfortable they’d ever seen him. “She’s not pregnant.”

“Oh. But I thought-”

Rickon being interrupted by Catelyn, sternly looking to him no doubt trying to drop this discussion if not for Jons sake, then certainly yours. “Rickon. You shouldn’t be looking at messages on other people’s phones, it’s an invasion of privacy.”

Arya tried to ease it as well, “And you thought you saw something that wasn't even true anyways.”

Trying to protest with something else, Catelyn again shut it down telling him that was enough, but it was for mostly nothing. Very suddenly did the loud scratch of wood dragging against the floor ring out as you pushed back from the table. Barley managing to mutter out an “Excuse me.” The name muttered beside you hardly even registered as Jon before you had walked passed all of the eyes at the table and found your winding path the door outside.

The no sounds within the house shut away the moment you closed the sliding glass behind you, only the sounds of night and nature out. The breeze of the wind felt both refreshing and relieving on your skin, the nerves flowing through nearly having made a light sheen of sweat come over you in the time it took your feet to reach here. Your heart felt like it begun to race enough your hands grasped at the railing against the edge of the deck, leg bent back at the knee as your head dropped.

The tightness in your chest as if something heavy sat atop it and everything felt too overwhelming as if the anxiety overtook the remainder of your senses, replacing it with it’s stinging ire as your mind told you what you already know, you shouldn’t have even come. Ever since the day you called Jon to come get you from Karl Tanner’s house, you had kept screwing up the lives of the Starks over and over and the weight felt insurmountable without even being able to explain to yourself why.

Shoving his brother in the side did Bran shout at him, “Look what you did.” Rickon had no qualms about shouting back that he didn’t do anything but Bran didn’t let up as much as he did. “Why did you even say that?” Again his little brother only shouting back more angry that he just wanted to know as tempers flowed between them.

“You didn’t just ask, you made assumptions about things you don’t understand.” Rickon shouting back now to Arya that he did understand but the more voices raised the easier it was for the three of them to rile each other up further, and the more Ned had to play referee to get his children to stop.

There was a deep guilt sitting in Jons stomach, it was a misunderstanding from something he knew his youngest brother didn’t grasp was something he shouldn’t have just said to the whole family. But he knew it was still on his shoulders, he should’ve deleted the messages days ago. He should’ve never kept them, never looked at them again and Rickons wandering eyes wouldn’t have been in the perfect spot for one singular moment to get the wrong idea.

He felt very little compulsion however, to say a word as he got up to follow you. He could feel the remainder of eyes not currently entangled in an argument look up at him, but with shoulders tense and his jaw clenched trying to breathe evenly did Jon swiftly pass by everyone else out of the room.

An idea of where you’d likely go, but before Jon could get anywhere near the back of the house did a voice stop him that he truly did not want to deal with right now. “Snow.”

Stopping in place, Jons eyes closed as long as it took to exhale roughly, before turning around to see an equally as aggravated Robb come up to him. It was a short, barking tone but Jon was not in the mood for the look in his brothers eye who was as ready no doubt to chew him out as he did months ago on the phone. “What, Robb?”

Closing the gap, his brother had the decency to lower his voice to a mutter rather then allow anyone else to hear them. “How about you start by telling me what went on back there?” Jon barley rasping out that they could do this later, only to have Robb grab him by the shoulder and roughly pull Jon back to face him. “Or you tell me now before I let you follow her out there and make her feel worse.”

In an instant did Jons eyes darken as they narrowed, stepping up more into his space Jon let an edge sit right at the back of his throat. “You think I wanted Rickon to say all that? That I wanted her to get embarrassed in front of everyone?”

Robb kept his tone as falsely calm as he could knowing Jon did not buy it. “No, but what I do want to know is what in seven hells were you talking about in the first place that made him think that?”

It took a significant amount of effort within Jon not to raise his voice. He knew saying it bordered on petty, but it came out along with the anger anyways as he muttered, “What I say to my friends about my girlfriend has nothing to do with you.”

Neither took the high rode, to simply allow the anger sit apart from one another until a civil discussion could be had. “We all tried to protect her from her ex’s before. She’s still my friend, why shouldn’t I still protect her now?” Jon said not a word, whatever his brother was trying to imply, his silence was daring him to have the bravery and say it. The way Robb didn’t have the bravery to still even admit the only reason he cared this much was because he was jealous.

But Robb didn’t say it, the way he didn’t before and Jon only shook his head slow and once. “You don’t even know what you’re trying to protect her from, because you know there isn’t anything. You know I’m not trying to hurt her, or embarrass her.” Should he have said it when Robb hadn’t actually said his own side in truth? Jon wasn’t sure, but he felt the line in the dirt trying to be crossed and he was putting a stop to it before either of them went too far. “And I sure as hell never protected her from all her ex’s because I wanted to be the one to prove I was better for her.”

Robb’s expression twitched, but did not make a chance, nor did Jon care about waiting to see what that would be. He wanted to make a bigger problem out of everything then it all was because he hated that he for once felt like the one on the outside. But Jon wasn’t responsible for getting his brother passed that feeling, not by a long shot.

But, that didn’t stop the fact that his own brother, his closest companion his whole life, had suddenly decided Jon was simply no better then the men who abused you before him. And it didn’t stop the fact that as much as it made Jon angry, it also hurt a great deal to feel Robb losing that trust in him so quickly.

A warm had suddenly pressed against your upper back, the startled jump you followed with just as suddenly simmer down to a relaxed feeling beyond even what you were moments before. Jon came up close next to you, standing up straight to your leaning figure without invading your space too much when he wasn’t sure how much you had come down yet. “Do you want me to get-”

Shaking your head, your voice a bit weak but not anywhere near as shaking as you suspected he thought it would’ve been. “No, it’s alright. I’m fine.” Muttering a question of if you promised, and you nodded. Only to add right away in what you knew he preferred to hear out loud. “I promise. I just..I needed some air. I- I don’t know why I freaked out for a moment.”

Looking more up to where he stood, there was that narrowed worry in his brows but that shine which echoed so beautifully in the moonlight of his grey eyes bright looking down at you. “I’m so sorry, darling.”

You took him by surprise, how little you held any of those nerves or worry in your voice or person whatsoever as you shook your head. Pushing to stand up a bit straighter, you felt Jon turn a bit to lean his back against the railing to face you better. “Unless you paid Rickon to embarrass both of us in front of your family, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

A doubt washing across his face it was as if a force was compelling him to explain himself in the manner you would ramble, but if Jon didn’t like when you did that, you wouldn’t let him either. Trying to begin explaining the misunderstanding, you grasped gently at his hand. Pulling it to your front as you shifted to face him, both hands opening up his fingers curled into themselves and gently toyed with them before you let your other hand loose so it could sit more against his stomach. “Jon.” His eyes finding yours, soft and genuine as if the roles were revered against his now worried ones. “You don’t need to justify saying something about me in private to your friends. I’ve talked about you in private before.”

As if the worry dropped, did Jons eyes glint with something playful as a small smirk came to his lips, “Oh?” His free hand now grabbing at your waist, his other toying with your hand that still gently held his. “What exactly does a girl like you say about her boyfriend in private when he’s not around?”

It was a skill, as soon as the roles reversed between you did Jon gain the upper hand all over again as you instantly felt flustered at his implication. The stammer now much more real trying to protest against the handsome grin on his face. “I don’t- it isn’t about anything like that.” Trying to pull away did Jon twist so he could snatch at your hand toying with his and tug you into his front more. Grabbing your other to do the same when you let the other try to squirm free too. The laugh building in your chest, trying to keep it withheld when he was like this, not to spur him on more. “I only meant when I’m worried about things, I bring you up.”

Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly, Jon did not let it go. “That doesn’t really narrow anything down.”

He let out the first genuine laugh, as soon as your face fell flat. A hand moving to cup your cheek, Jon let the amusement between you both linger for a minute as he let his thumb trail over your cheek and jaw, keeping your gaze locked onto his before he found his voice, soft and gentle once more. “It was something Tormund was saying, what Rickon saw.” Clarifying when your face had turned to a more confused one. “He’s young, he didn’t understand what we were talking about. He just saw your name and something about getting pregnant and put the dots together thinking I was talking about you right now.”

It wasn’t meant as an interrogation, and in your mind you knew Jon didn’t take it was one but you hesitantly asked it regardless. “Do...do you and him talk about me getting pregnant a lot?”

Jons shrug was followed with something affectionate in his voice, but also there was something to tell you that he wasn’t being dishonest either. Even through the confidence he said it, pulling you by your waist just a bit closer to him. “More often then never.”

Biting down on on your tongue, you attempted to mask the fluster from invading your smile but Jon would’ve seen it anyways as you muttered, pretending as if it was to yourself alone. “I’m not sure I even want to know how that conversation came about between you two.”

Unbeknownst to you, Jon felt that weight in his heart again. Both in a knowing and an anger for why in the first place, but not coming close to making you feel as if that feeling was even there save if you mistaken it towards you. “No, probably not.” Asking gently if he wanted to go back inside, Jon instead chose to turn you in place. Putting your front back against the railing of the deck, as both of his arms came to perch against them encasing you between them and his front now warm against your back.

A tender rasp as he leaned down to your ear. “Let me keep you out here a while. By the time they bring out dessert, everyone will have moved on.” A large hand coming up to pull back the hair draped over your shoulder, moving it to lay against the other as he tucked the stubborn loose strands behind your ear. His lips pressing just once against the skin of your neck as he muttered into it. “Now when I actually get you pregnant, they’re not going to believe me.”

“Jon-” Loudly protesting his name with a laugh, Jon wrapped his other hand around your front to keep you in his arms as he laughed loudly right back. Only he could be the one to embarrass you it seemed.

“You’re an idiot.”

The manner which Robb turned to glare at Sansa was not unlike the stern warning kind he’d given all of his younger siblings many times before, as was the tone low but even hissing from him. “Don’t start.”

As if she didn’t hear, Sansa came to invade where he stood. Blocking the view he had of the outside back of the house all together, her frustratingly tall height meant that unless he physically moved her himself, he couldn’t avoid her irritated attitude towards him. “You don’t get to be the one pushing for your brother to date your friend, only to get angry with him when he finally does it. That’s on you for not doing anything in the first place.”

Narrowed his eyes at her with a tilt of his head, Robb found even more warning in his tone which Sansa did not at all take to heart. “That is not what this is about, Sansa.” Only challenging back that wasn’t it? Turning enough to unblock his view of the outside, right at the edge of the window’s view could one just manage to see Jon and you on the upper deck. You tucked back into his chest, with gentle smiles and laughs being shared in your perceived outdoor privacy.

Without even thinking, did Robbs eyes get drawn right back to the sight only to realize with a huff and a roll of them away from it did he know Sansa had caught him red handed. And she spared no time addressing it. “If you were interested in her, then you never should have encouraged Jon to make a move after what happened with Ramsay. You can’t push him to have what you wanted, and then get angry when he does.” Commenting as he refused with an annoyance that isn’t what happened, she shot right back. “So what did happen that you’re so angry at him about? Beacuse you’re clearly not angry at her, everytime Jon even so much as looked in her direction during dinner you looked like you wanted to hit him.”

Robb kept everything he said to a minimum, knowing that it was all too possible Sansa would hear the wrong thing and run with it. “I’m just looking out for her, after what happened.”

Her face twisted towards him as if she though him daft. Gesturing back out to you both out the window her voice talked down to him the same. “Yes, they really look like there is so much to worry about between them.” Forcing Robb to look back at her she stepped back in front of him. “He made a mistake, you were there for her and now that he fixed things, you’re jealous because you liked it when it was you she needed.”

He said nothing, not that he thought Sansa expected him too. Glancing away there was not a complete lack of truth in what she said, but he would not give her the fuel by saying it out loud. He didn’t like being jealous and angry at Jon as much as Jon no doubt hated the new rift between them. They so rarely fought about anything, and it was always awful when they did. As if the wolfs blood in both of them heated to a feral degree and turned them into animals over it.

Shaking her head though, Sansa clearly decided for the night, any further lecture was not worth it. “If you want her, Robb? Do something about it. Beacuse standing here being angry about it, isn’t working. So maybe try something that actually does.”

He didn’t care to watch as she walked off, a lecture from his little sister was not what Robb wanted tonight, but it did give him a lot to think about. He didn’t know what his own goal was at the end of this journey of jealousy was, but stealing you from his own brother was not the ending he envisioned would make a single person involved even remotely happy.

But she was right, because Jon was right. Robb was jealous. He was jealous because feelings for you sneaked up on him with no warning and now he was left lost as to what to do about it. For the first time, he felt completely directionless when it came to a girl and even worse, he already was doing the wrong things to handle it.

For once though, Robb managed to force himself away from the window and out of the room instead of brewing on that jealousy until he did something even stupider then what he was blaming Jon for in the first place.

It was almost amusing, returning back here in such a different state of mind considering what brought you to this place last. The red of the leaves even in the night sky looked so vivid and bright against the white bark fresh like snow. Jon had suggested walking the property a little bit, knowing it would help ease what was left bogging down both of your minds. Ending up by the heart tree in the godswood, you found a smile half climbing its way onto your face that caught Jons attention.

Glancing up to him, he only playfully narrowed his expression as he tilted his head in inquiry. You shrugged a shoulder, wrapping your arms around one of his as you leaned comfortably into his warm side as you both stood in front of the Weirwood. “The last time I was here was after I took off during the Winter Harvest.”

Jons eyes were preoccupied, bright as they looked all around as the trees surrounding always helped made the godswood feel as if it were separate from the rest of the property. You could perfectly imagine when winter hit, him standing right where he was now, but the snow gentle as it collected in his curls, making the inky black stand out so much more against the contrasted snowflakes melting one by one in their thick lusciousness. You almost missed him speaking entirely were you not so close. “Why?” Shaken out of your dreaming gaze, did you make a noise in the back of your throat as if asking him to repeat himself. No doubt you had been caught staring, the small smile on his lips as he repeated, “Why come here that night?”

Inhaling deeply, you tried to think through the rationality. You had been very intoxicated by the time you found yourself here, sitting with your back against the Weirwood in the too small, far too revealing dress as the cool winds sobered you up. “I’m not sure, really. I just left, and something somewhere in me wanted to come here.”

Grey eyes stared down at you with a wondering, but he didn’t rush to say what came to mind before he found the proper words through a deep, thoughtful inhale. Only, stopping himself before he could even open his mouth with a gentle laugh to himself. “What?” Shaking his head, you failed to force a pretending frown over your genuine smile. “Fine, don’t tell me.”

Your own intention was to wander closer to the small pond of water feet in front of the carved face only to suddenly be pulled back by Jon the moment you strayed too far. Turning you to look up at him your hands held at his waist to steady yourself, while he own held at one arm and the other traced itself along the side of your head. The softness in his eyes remained but something from deeper within came forward. Akin to a frown of something more genuine came over as he let his thumb run along your jaw as if tempted to trace across to your lips.

His voice just a gentle rasp as he slid the hand on your arm down to your hip. “You came here that night, because part of you knows you belong here.” Your eyes flashed in question, which he elaborated, thumb seeking up along the soft skin of your cheek. “Even my father knew you’d come here.”

Your head turned to the side for a moment as you considered it, but if there was anything you couldn’t deny, it was that you felt at peace standing here with Jon in that very moment. It was quiet and meek and just perhaps, it slipped out before you could stop yourself. “Or maybe it’s just because I belong here with you.”

Jon’s expression didn’t change, nothing changed. You wished it would, that he would laugh or scoff and tease you for saying something like that but he didn’t. And part of you could only wonder if perhaps he knew you said it without meaning to, and returned the favour by choosing to voice one of his own. The hand on your hip trailing a big more, his large hand reaching to where you didn’t pay attention. His head dropped somewhat as he said it, not meeting your eyes as his face twisted. An anticipation against what he was about to say. “Would it really be so bad?”

“Would what be so bad?”

Peeking back up to meet your eyes, you felt where his hand had travelled. Thumb putting just enough pressure down that you felt him run it up and down against your lower stomach, a shine in his eyes of something much more on edge then before. “Would it be so bad if you were pregnant?”

Part of you wanted to have more of a reaction. Shock or taken aback, ask where that came from or what he was talking about. Have an unknown feeling swirling in the pit of your stomach, but no. Your voice only spoke as gentle as his muttered, but without the nerves. “I don’t know. It wouldn’t be the worst thing thats ever happened.”

Finally a hint of a laugh left him. Jon never more handsome then when a smile or laugh came over his face as if it lightened up the best of his features more then you thought possible. More properly cupping your cheek, Jon pulled you just a bit closer. “Could move you with me into the house for a while. Give my sisters a chance to drive you crazy for a bit. He’d be able to be born surrounded by family.”

A playful smirk more came over you that he caught on quickly too. “He? Deciding it’s a boy this far ahead?”

Running his thumb a feather light path over your bottom lip, Jon leaned in to let his nose trace over yours, a slight nudge as he spoke, feeling you return the gesture. “I didn’t decide anything. I already know he’s a boy.” You found a laugh as Jon repeated the gesture, saying that he didn’t even exist yet.

Pulling you up to look him in the eye, your mouth opened then closed once more thinking it over, but just found something warm within your veins travelling all over and low. Your hands reached up around the back of his neck to hold there, watching his grey eyes grow darker and darker the longer he looked at you. “I think we have a few steps before we get there.”

His hand was warm as he let it slide under the bottom of your shirt, running over the skin against your stomach before seeking out your waist, hand growing more and more bold as he ran along your side, palm against your bare skin. Slowly you felt yourself moving backwards at Jons command, step by step until suddenly did your back come into contact with the trunk of the Weirwood, Jons voice as deep as his accent rasped thick. Leaning down, his lips hovered right over yours as your eyes fluttered closed, the hot brush of his breath swiping across your skin. “Doesn’t mean we can’t practice.”

The smallest of gasps left you, which Jon took the advantage of, and pressed his lips to yours. Cupping both your cheeks, Jons lips were soft and guiding as you let your hands wrap tighter around the back of his neck. His own body stepping forward as you leaned up with an eagerness that has Jon press you further against the Weirwood.

He always begun gentle, but it never lasted. Something in Jon did not have the capability to stay calm and slow when he had you to himself. Deeper and deeper he kissed you, around you nothing but the sounds of bugs in the night, the breeze of wind through the trees and the press of hips lips to yours over and over. Never bothering to pretend he was going to pull away before he started all over again.

One hand slid to hold at the back of your neck, a firm grip as if keeping you steady while the other trailed downward to the buttons at the front of your jeans. No shame held, nor even needed to pull back or open his eyes to have one done then another before the hand on your neck tilted you to the side. Barely allowing himself to tear from your lips to run his tongue along your neck with his lips pressing down to follow each brush.

A buzz slowed through you as if one had begun to drink a tad too much, but never did you feel any dizziness with it. Only something warm flowing through you faster and faster as you begun feeling the cold air hit your hips and lower. Just barley stopping before any of you was exposed to the night, did Jon bite down. The sting burned through you, back arching into him as you gasped with a cry of need.

Hands grasping tightly at what you could reach of him but your eyes fluttered as he sucked down to mark the indents with a bruise with no care for where you both truly were. “Jon..”

Pulling from your neck, his lips still parted with something wanting to growl in his chest. Eyes black as the sky above, only he grabbed the sides of your jeans once more and pressed his lips urgent but quick lasting to yours. Rasping against you, as if he was about to give you no choice. “Let me do this, darling.”

Nodding with a breathlessness, Jon barley let himself kiss you once more before he kneeled down. Dragging your jeans and under carefully down. Swiftly pulling the slip ons on your feet off and taking the rest of it off, your bare half cold to the world, shaking in a blur of nerves as well. Your toes curled as the leaves under you felt cold as well, but Jon was so warm as he stayed knelt in front of you.

A large hand grasped gentle at your calf, prompting you to lift your foot up off the ground. Your hand reached out, grasping at a low branch by you just as Jon gently shushed you. Pressing his lips to your calf and up to your knee, muttering between each one. “I’ve got you, it’s alright.”

If he saw you nod, you weren’t sure. Your eyes closing at the realization of what he was in fact doing, rising your leg up enough so that your thigh was rested over one of his shoulders. His other hand pressed against your inner thigh pushing enough to indicate he wanted you to spread wider. Your face was flush with something as turned on as it was nervous doing so, but again his rasp was so deep and comforting in the quiet.

Upwards he made a path along your inner thighs closer and closer to the warmth between your legs. “Just a taste, I promise.” Though, you both knew that to Jon, a taste could very easily be much more over indulgent to one then another.

He had ceased to give up on ensuring every part of you along the way had contact with his lips in a kiss, your hand tightening around the branch as the sudden feeling washed over you as he did so along you up to your clit. Yet there was when he had truly begun.

Sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves you cried lightly out as your head fell back against the bark, eyes fluttering closed as he increased the pressure with no shame. Hand still on your thigh of the leg standing was tight before he eased up both, a warning of sorts to trust him.

Replacing with his tongue, brushes against your clip were short at first. Quick but in patterns that were tight and purposeful as your heart beat out of your chest and your insides twisted around a burning flame. Longer brushes soaked you as you felt yourself drawing closer and closer.

Normally sometimes you found yourself in a fight against it. The fear as if once you let yourself go, he would stop there when you needed him, but you had not the time you wished together, not here at least. Your other hand barley let itself rest along his curls as if worried of grasping anything too roughly, but again over and over his tongue dragged you along as he gave your clit nothing but fervent attention.

The wave flowed close, and with just a taste he promised you allowed yourself to be flooded through with your end. Hand curling into his locks, a tighter pull then meant dragged a growl against you, the vibrations only causing him to suck your clit as if to torment you as much as you didn’t mean to him. But he did not pull away.

No, Jon shoved your leg wider, and found himself the taste he most desired with no care for the property he acted it upon. Barley with a voice you muttered out, “Wait, Jon..you said..”

But he didn’t care. Running his tongue along your folds before he let his mouth drink from you out of nothing but a need. For you yes, but his hands held at you tightly, grasping with a mean grip you could not fight if you wished too, but dragging his tongue over the wetness you were soaked with only created a circle that gifted him more and more.

Running along what he could inside of you, whatever warmth you were to him, so was he dragging his tongue along every inch he could brush along. Dragging out everything you had, a growl vibrated against you as your hand grasped more at his curls, again and again the cycle repeated as he refused any chance for your wetness to go anywhere but his tongue. To let it go to waste where he couldn’t taste it.

Your lungs burned trying to keep every sound to yourself, biting down against your lip enough you could feel it asking to tear just the slightest, but you soaked Jons mouth as much as he left a stain of his saliva against you as a symbol of his work. That he drank from you one, and left another as if needing to prepare you.

Closer and closer he pulled you to a second, but this time he would slow. Run gently back to your clit and along your folds. His facial hair scratched raw against your upper thighs, marks showing the irritation against his mouth but as you cried he groaned into your cunt in his own need. The taste of you alone had Jons cock throbbing behind his own jeans and it was insufferable in his mind he had to put up with his mind wanting more, when all he truly needed was this.

The taste between your legs but the moment you felt your orgasm come drawing closer for a third, he no longer took it from you. Bracing his hands more against you, Jon kept you pinned down against his mouth however much his strength could, and your head fell backwards with a needing cry of his name as your orgasm burst through you like a star exploding in the sky above.

Whatever wetness you had, Jon tasted it, he drank from you until he was all that was left and your lungs burned trying to keep it down. Thighs shaking you hadn’t even noticed he gently placed your other leg to stand back down, until he stood up.

Cupping both your cheeks, Jon gave you no time to feel something shy about what of you was left against his lips before he shared his addiction with it’s source. His tongue gliding into your mouth right away, his kiss only attacking as you gasped for air and he stole it all for himself. Brushing his tongue over yours, you never grasped what he liked about it, but you always obeyed him the same.

Leaning more over you again, Jon pressed you back against the tree from where you leaned off of it. Without even thinking, it was as if he consumed your mind and you fell victim to his bewitching. Hands moving to do his bidding, did Jon kiss you deeper and deeper as you begun unzipping his jeans, only to move a hand down himself. Grasping your hands to motion for him to do the work, Jon refused to leave your lips.

Wrapping around one leg, Jon let go of your other cheek to grasp at the other. Feeling your hands around the back of his neck, Jon instead of what you expected, suddenly hoisted you up. Pressing you tight against the Weirwood, his forehead resting against yours as he rasped, “I love you.”

Nodding back, your voice hardly managed to return before you felt the tip of his cock drag against you. The moment the saliva coating between your legs let him tease at slipping inside of you, Jon spared not a second longer without doing so. A deep growl turned groan left Jon, head dropping to bite down against your neck leaving you to only grasp around his shoulders with a gentle moan.

He was the opposite of what he had begun as, slowly did he move. His cock sliding with such shamelessly little resistance deep inside of you, stretching you against his thick length with a sting that you burned for. Almost all the way out he pulled before working along your sensitive walls, hiding in his curls as you wrapped your arms around him tighter.

Had any watched, it wouldn’t even have looked as if he was moving much at all, but you felt him, you felt him fill you as your chest twisted inside around and around as it build within you that desperate white hot core only he ever created within you. You must have cried his name louder then you thought, kissing a path to your ear his voice as as heavy as your mind felt, “I know, darling, I know. Just stay with me, I know it’s a lot.”

Barley nodding, you couldn’t help but clench so tightly around his length as he filled you slowly over and over. Each time he found himself unable to leave your warmth more and more, now only pulling out halfway before sinking back as deep as you could take him. Your breath felt like it never recovered, your body warm and covering itself with something almost turned to sweat as you tired to tilt his head up to you again, desperate for him to kiss you into quiet.

Never deny as such, Jon kissed you deeply with another groan from him turned a higher pitched whine from you which never escaped. Closer and closer he dragged you right to that end, it was never destined to last long, not here, but it all felt overwhelming.

The tenseness of inside, the words shared, or maybe just the location against a symbol of the faith his family always held belief in as Jon had no shame in taking you here. Pulling back, he rasped close enough you felt his lips brush yours with ever word. “They were right. We took long enough to get here, I’m not waiting for anything else.”

Your mind was too fuzzy to truly know what he was even saying before you nodded, “Please Jon, please..”

Sinking inside of you over and over, you shook in his touch but he never wavered as his thrusts didn’t either. “Already made love to you here, now we have to get married here too.” What were you even nodding in agreement of? You didn’t know, you just heard his voice against you, his cock so deep and thick inside of you and knew you’d do anything he wanted this way.

As if sealing something of a deal, a pact, signing away your fate did Jon kiss you as both of you found your ends together as if meant to. Your soaking walls clenched tight around him, almost refusing the chance that he would pull out of you as his cock throbbed before his orgasm hit only seconds after yours burst around him.

Slow grinding thrusts as Jons seed spilled deep inside of you, never letting himself stop as each thick spurt was fucked into you as if with purpose. Hiding your head in his hair, Jon too pressed his lips to your neck as you both came and came down together.

Your heart still catching your lungs up to speed, Jon muttered roughly, “Hold on, darling.” Not knowing what he meant before you grasped tightly at him, a whine biting back down as he pulled out of you, the stretch of him always made it more sensitive. Just as slow, Jon guided you back down to the ground, turning you by your cheek up to look at him, he pressed his forehead to yours. His hands quickly putting himself back together, before pulling you up to his lips.

Lingering against you with just as much of a slowness, but the passion radiated through it’s chasteness with no issue reading the words behind it. You returned just as much.

By the time he finally managed to help you with your own clothes, he looked needing but fine, you looked nothing but a mess only able to look up at him. A laugh breathed out as he ran his nose along yours. “Maybe we stay here a bit longer.” Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, finding yourself just leaning into his front as his other hand cupped the back of your head, smoothing down your hair as his other wrapped around you to keep you pressed into him. “Wait until you don’t look like such a beautiful mess for me.”

You could only nod. Both of you standing there for a little while longer. Jon found his mind able to think a little clearer. He would never do anything to hurt you in any way again, but neither did Jon want to hurt his brother. Not with this tension between them, or by forcing him to just deal with his jealousy and get over it with no compassion.

Something had to be done, but as you lifted your head to gently capture your lips with his once more before he would guide you back to the main house, Jon was completely lost as to what that would be. But he knew he had to think quickly, because he knew Robb and he knew until he was sure Jon had no malicious intentions, he would not give up the fact that not to your apparent knowledge, had Jon seemed to be discussing something about getting you pregnant.

Which wasn’t wrong. Tormund had started it, but Jon didn’t exactly shut that conversation down when he had the chance. It was all terribly complicated in his head. Because as much as he didn’t want to hurt his brother, still Jon thought, now more then ever, did he find it nearly impossible to ignore what Tormund suggested in the first place.

“Get her pregnant, then. No more obvious way to mark her as yours Snow, then to put a son in her.”

[entomjinx]

ONE PIECE CHAPTER 1113 SPOILERS!!!

It's tagged, it's in bold, if you didn't see it that's on you, but I'm sorry. (I'm also a little sick so sorry for how this starts to turn a little insane at the end.)

The reveal makes perfect sense. I've seen a few people struggle to figure out where it came from, so I'm gonna explain why it makes perfect sense and then pop off with some silly theory.

The first hint at the fact that the One Piece world is sinking exists all the way back in Long Ring Long Island.

That seems like an odd place to start, but it's the first time we're shown how drastic the tides of the ocean in the One Piece world can change. It's enough to separate entire parts of an island, causing it to appear as separate islands, once every year.

This implies that the tides change drastically over the course of much longer periods than it does in the real world.

After that, we get to Water Seven and discover that it's sinking, and that the Aqua Laguna is getting worse every year. We also know that it's caused by the water receding at Long Ring Long island. We're also outright told that they want to make the city float to stop the sinking problem.

We also, much later, see just how high Wano is in altitude.

Knowing that the Redline is so tall that it cannot be passed by any ship, cannot be broken through, and that Mariejois is sat right on top of it only adds to why it makes sense.

The world isn't "sinking," those some islands technically are(Water Seven, modeled after Venice), the tides are going to rise exponentially, and fast.

The force of the water would instantly drown most people, and those who survived would be those who could get to higher altitude islands, the sky islands, Fishman Island, or the Redline.

And because I know someone will try to point this out: land bound plant life can temporarily survive underwater, so Ohara's 5000 year old library tree would be fine for a a bit while submerged. There's lots of places with high tides who's plant life is just fine. (This also could explain why they'd be so willing to throw the books into the water. Not only was it to save them from the fire, but many of them had likely been submerged for long periods of time before. They knew the books would be find in the end because they had record of it. And well, it's mentioned in the chapter that Vegapunk means to finish what Ohara started.)

This would also explain how thorough the government was able to be with wiping out information from the void century. If only a few places can survive, then few things that tell the truth will survive, and even fewer people.

Do I think I'm 100% correct about any of this? Or course not, it's Oda. It's One Piece. Things are pretty much never predicted with 100% accuracy. But that's my thoughts on why it makes sense. Now we get into theory:

I have several points to make, so I'm going to write out the shortest ones first.

-This would, completely unironically, explain some of the centuries long racism campaign against fishman. They have no reason to fear the high tides. They will survive no matter what happens on the surface, and that scares the humans who cannot.

-I think that the extreme tide is a part of why the bridge is being built in Tequila Wolf. I believe the bridges purposes is to connect all the highest points of the world so there's no need for ships to carry them. This way, the Celestial Dragons will still have access to more slaves, produce, and anything they can't get within Mariejois on their own during the time period when everyone drowns.

-and now we get to the big one:

I think that the reason the 20 kings and their people destroyed the ancient kingdom is because the ancient kingdom had a way to survive the high tide while keeping the maximum number of people safe in the process, and while being able to save many more people. They refused to ask for help, and were instead afraid of the power the ancient kingdom held, so they sought to destroy it.

I think that the ancient "weapons" were instead a means of survival, and the reason they were hidden is because the 20 kings would have used them as weapons instead. We don't know much about the ancient kingdom, so much of this is speculation.

I think Pluton was a large enough ship that it could carry the entire kingdom. We've already seen some massive ships in One Piece, and Iceburg intends to turn the entirety of Water Seven into a ship, so the idea of an island sized ship isn't all that odd.

If you continue to think about it, why did none of the Beast Pirates manage to find Pluton while searching for the poneglyph in Wano? I have two theories for this based on the fact that we're told Wano would have to open it's borders in order to get Pluton. If the walls would need to be torn down, then we can continue to assume that Pluton is massive.

Theory one is that Pluton is is hidden within the mountain itself, and that the mountain was man-made to hide the ship. Not only would the walls need to come down, but the mountain itself would have to be destroyed. They would also need a way to survive the high tide without it, so creating a mountain that is high enough in altitude to keep them safe would have been a necessity. I think this is the more believable of the two theories.

Theory Two is that Pluton is Wano. The entire island is the ship, and many of Wano's people descended from the people of the ancient kingdom or those they rescued. This one is much less likely, but it's still a possibility in my mind.

We know that Poseidon was the former mermaid princess, and that the current one is Shirahoshi. She can control the sea kings. Why would this be important? Because if everywhere floods, then the sea kings, who are already very large creatures, suddenly have an influx of room to move, food to eat, and places to lay eggs. It would cause a population spike. *However,* that would cause an ecological disaster within the food chain. The sudden influx of sea kings would be desperate for any food they can get their hands on, and many would likely die of starvation. This means they need some way to repel them from the large ship.

We don't know anything about Uranus yet, so I've nothing for you.

Another thing we know about the ancient kingdom is that they seemed to be friendly with everyone, or at least it's implied via how many friends Joy Boy made.

Fishman: Along with the bonus of having Poseidon, the fishman also have access to the tree resin from Sabaody. Should the ship(Puton) or the ancient kingdom ever need to submerge in order to keep people safe or to have a temporary air bubble, They'd be safe.

Lunarians: The people who originally lived on top of the redline. Sinee the redline is high enough to not sink, it would have made sense for them to be trade partners.

Skypians and Shandians: Another race with wings. if the tides really got too high, then they could join them in the sky sea for a time. They could also trade with them.

Minks: Zunesha was a friend of Joyboy's. We don't know much else about that situation, but it's likely that Zunesha is plenty tall enough to keep the minks from drowning, and they could have traded often as well. Maybe Zunesha was even able to do something similar to the giants.

The Giants: This feels like the most important one to me, and not just because of recent chapters. Obviously the giants think very highly of Nika/Joyboy, but it's also very likely that Elbaf is tall enough to survive the high tide, and if not, the the giants themselves are. If you look at what's known about current giants, some of them are tall enough to walk along the sea floor, and the ancient giants were so large that it's said they pulled and moved continents.

Why is that bit important? Because a ship the size of an entire island would likely need a lot more than sails buoyancy to move quickly. The ancient kingdom was pulled by the giants. They moved to different areas to rescue people and to trade so that life continued while the tide was at it's highest point.

Another random thing that supports this is the giant's vehement hatred towards Charlotte Linlin. She has Totto Land, which is supposed to be a place where all races live in harmony, but it would be a mockery of what the ancient kingdom was like, and for giants, who live about 300 years, that's only a few generations back. They would still have stories about the ancient kingdom and remember the truth.

Again, I don't think anything I predict will ever be 100% accurate, but I hope you enjoyed my rambling nonetheless.

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to the Lone Flame's Chapter 215

TL;DR - Gashan can't use his shaman powers too. Story about how dragons became gods. Village chief does not know someone named CJG. Subjugation force will arrive in 3 days.

More Power Restrictions Mana and aura were not the only powers that were restricted. Gashan confirmed that he could not use his shaman powers/power of nature. So this brings us to the question: What about Cale's ancient powers? Unfortunately, the author did not mention anything about the ancient powers for the past chapters.

Dragons as Gods We got more world-building today, so I'll summarize it all in a story format:

This tale begins at the time when the weather drastically changed, and powers like mana and aura became unusable. These drastic changes brought about chaos to the world, and was thus referred to as the period of cataclysm.

There existed a place called the Free City of Gonia, which was rumored to be founded by people with dragon blood, the so-called half-blood dragons. During the cataclysm, the free city asked help from their dragon protectors for a solution.

The dragons responded to their pleas, and roamed around the world, helping in stabilizing the chaos. They repaired places where mana and aura became unusable, and stopped the beastkin who had fallen into madness. Their powers and attributes also helped alleviate the drastic weather changes.

Hence, people all over the world began to praise and worship the dragons. Their faith in the gods wavered, for the temples were rife with corruption, and the gods seemingly did not listen to their cries for help.

The Free City of Gonia renamed themselves as the Holy City, expanding its territory and openly declaring the worship of dragons as gods. However, the last emperor of the Har Empire vehemently opposed it.

The last emperor of the Har Empire and the last Archduke Snow secretly believed that it was actually the dragons who caused the cataclysm in their desire to become gods. But the world thought the Har Empire's opposition was because they were afraid to lose its status as a powerful nation, and the prestige of their first emperor, who was a dragon slayer, from falling.

War took place. The dragons abstained from joining the war, and only the ones said to be half-blood dragons participated. And in that war, the last emperor and the last Archduke Snow passed away.

The Har Empire was demoted to a kingdom, and fled to the north. The Holy City seized control of the Har Empire's territory, once again renaming themselves as the Holy Empire.

The Holy Empire declared to its neighbor countries that they would maintain friendly relations as long as they accepted the worship of dragons in their countries. They even offered their assistance in solving the chaos brought about by the cataclysm.

Thus, no country opposed the Holy Empire. And true to their word, the Holy Empire did assist other countries that asked for help, sending out dragons to resolve their problems. Dragon worship further spread to the world.

Other Answers to Cale's Questions As for Cale's other questions, CJG seemed to have disguised himself here, so the village chief did not know anyone of that name. But the village chief did keep a record of strangers who entered their village, so they would have to check that for any CJG clues.

The subjugation force was expected to arrive in 3 days, and Eruhaben expressed his worry about the enemies finding out about them. But Cale even welcomed it, saying that because they lacked information, they could just capture the subjugation force and interrogate them. Yes, typical Cale. 😂

Ending Remarks Nothing exciting happened again today. It's just info dump and more name reveals. The wolf beastkin among the villagers was called Koukan, and the village's name was Wins Village. Frankly, it feels weird? Back in the murim arc, we would have gotten lots of named characters already, but this time, only one person had been named. Village chief is still called village chief or elder, though it was revealed that he was a descendant from the butler family that served Archduke Snow.

Anyway, next chapter is either the villagers meeting Lock, or Cale's group capturing the subjugation force. And hopefully, we get an answer if Cale can use his ancient powers here.

[blanketorghost]

Okay hi hello I have seen a sudden new influx in EAH fans (hiiiii welcome <3) and while I am very happy to see this little fandom still be more than three pieces of lint and a paperclip, I am here to give y'all a list of already DEBUNKED EAH myths that somehow always show up whenever this happens every 1/2 years:

"Apple White and Raven Queen are related."

They are not. In Chapter 2 Episode 11 "Blondie Branches Out" there's a throaway line explaining how the 'Prince Charming' role is distributed between multiple unrelated Charming families. There is also no mention in any of EAH media of Apple and Raven being related. The only related characters are:

Poppy and Holly O'Hair (Twins)

Giles & Milton Grimm (Siblings, Milton is the oldest)

Cerise Hood and Ramona Badwolf (Siblings, order not specified)

Daring, Dexter and Darling charming (Siblings, Daring is the oldest and Dexter and Darling are fraternal twins)

Briar Beauty and Rosabella Beauty (1st Cousins)

Gus and Helga Crumb (1st Cousins)

The Hood/Badwolf sisters, Sparrow Hood (Distant cousins)

In Apple White's 'Royally Ever After' diary, the retelling of the Snow White fairytale has Apple be Raven's personal assistant that later overthrows her rule, meaning familial relation and them sharing a royal bloodline is not a necessary part of the narrative.

"XYZ Background character is the descendant of ABC fairytale character."

Unless directly confirmed by a GURU media employee or mentioned in the show, none of the background characters have a direct counterpart.

Most of the most famous background characters are actually cameos/based off of animators (pictured below):

The fandom wiki is not a reliable source given the fact it has no edit protection and the moderators are no longer active.

Be carefulnot to confuse popular hedacanons or fan designs (more often than not fanart by red_red_heels, boots.caitlin and/or theprincessswan on instagram)

"XYZ's fairytale parent is dead."

Unless specifically stated, this is also not true. Certain stories have a loophole or workaround that prevent major character death. So far we have been given confirmation of:

Cinderella (Unknown loophole): shown to still be alive in 'Ashlynn Ella's Story'

The Swan Queen (Turned into a swan forever): It is not known wether or not Duchess' mom gave birth to her while she was still a human or if she was born from an egg. Raised by her grandmother. It is implied her curse is generational.

The Little Mermaid (Happy Ending): The first time this loophole is mentioned explicitly (Meeshell's diary). She was given a happy ending and lives under the sea, unlike the original HCA story. Story variation further explained in 'Fairy Tail Ending'.

The Big Bad Wolf (Unknown loophole): Self explanatory.

Baba Yaga (Possible Immortality?): Self explanatory.

The Candy Witch (Version recorded in the Storybook of Legends confirmed to be inaccurate): Explained in 'Kiss and Spell'.

"Descendants killed EAH."

Look, I am as much of a Descendants hater as the next guy, but the unfortunate truth is that EAH was never as successful as Mattel expected it to be. Their style was too 'childish and girly' for kids who were already into Monster High, and their themes were far too complex for younger kids to fully grasp. So their target audience was unfortunately not very interested. This is coming from someone who was around 11-12 when EAH came out. As an existing MH fan, I was turned off by it as at that time kids were entering their more 'edgy' phase and wasn't willing to give it a chance.

What dealt the killing blow was Mattel and Disney severing their contract over the Disney Princess doll line due to decreasing quality, and then after the release of descendants with Hasbro, one of Mattel's biggest competitors.

-

There's probably some other myths I missed, but these are the most common/widely believed ones. I'll maybe reblog/update later with more myths as I come across them.

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 6

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smutty smutty smut; talk of Reader's anxiety; drunkenness; New Girl spoilers (if you’ve never watched the show and don’t wanna know things!); absent parent thoughts; heavy petting; oral sex f!receiving; fingering; oral sex m!receiving; unprotected p in v sex; spanking (hehe); Reader is stubborn; Jake is stubborn (if i missed any that may have triggered you, please let me know!!)

Chapter Word Count: 24.5k+ (damn. i'm v sorry lmao)

Covet Masterlist

a/n: welllll, after summer school (that shit really took it out of me), one vacation w my whole fam, two gvf shows with my sis @joshym, an extended vaca in nash (bc we just HAD to!!), and INSANE writer's block....... HERE IS CHAPTER 6! finally! i'm insanely sorry it took so damn long. thank you all for being the fkn B E S T and so understanding and the best gresties/readers a girl could ask for! <3333 ("heart eyes, motherfucker" - that's how i feel about u all :) (also if u remember that vine, ily even more now))

i hope you enjoyyyy ;)

-🌼🌼🌼-

At the beginning of July, you were stacking a shipment of some blues records in a bin at work, your mind in a blank space, which naturally moved you to think of the one person who was seemingly always at the back of your mind.

Jake.

He’d really just taken up residence in your brain, as he had in your home.

He was still on his shit. You know, acting like a pouting child, barely acknowledging you. Even after you’d literally bared yourself to him, pussy out, nipples pebbled in the open air. . . 

You blew a breath through your lips, and tucked hair behind both ears, readjusting your thought process. 

Now he seemed set on only acting like an ass after your time in the cramped bathroom had been cut short. Before, he’d taken the time to still seek you out. After the incident in your bedroom, he’d literally shown up at the B&G, begging you to come see him.

Were you just not worth it to him anymore?

You rolled your eyes to yourself, focusing on stuffing records in the bin alphabetically. 

It. Didn’t. Matter. He didn’t matter.

Really.

And you knew he didn’t matter because it wasn’t hard for you when you finally decided to play into his behavior—his little game. You didn’t stop yourself when you started to match his energy. It was easy to act as though you didn’t care about him. 

Because you didn’t. 

All you really needed was to satisfy that itch and then—then, you’d be good. 

But as you came across a re-release of a Howlin’ Wolf record, you suddenly became slightly disheartened at the thought of it all. What if this wasn’t a game for him? What if he was actually so upset that he just decided you weren’t worth it? Would you ever get as close as you had at the gig again? Did he still want you like he had in the bathroom that night? Or in your bed the night before Baby’s?

You shivered as you (once again) thought of his hardened dick pressed up against your leg. You could hear his voice, low and sultry.

“That’s what you do to me.” 

Fuck. Did you still do that to him? You hoped so.

Then there was the feeling of him pressing into you, your bare ass on the cold ceramic of the sink, leaning your body into him, craving more—so close. 

God.

You frustratedly groaned and shoved the vinyl in its place and shook your head. It didn’t matter. Really. But you couldn’t help your heart falling at the idea of him not wanting you like you wanted him. 

All you could do was hope that he still wanted it—wanted you, like he had before. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You'd also started July deciding that in order to keep some sense of dignity, it would be best to not go see Jake perform. Especially if it was possible he’d completely closed himself off the idea of you. 

It was humiliating to be a try hard.

You would distance yourself from that part of his life, if he was going to ignore you and distance himself in your shared home. 

Did you want to see him play again? Hell freakin’ yes. It had been such an intimate experience that first night. You’d felt so privileged to witness it the way you had then, up close to share his emotions as he played, holding his eyes almost any time he’d looked up at you. You’d been taking in every flick of his fingers, every thrust into the back of his guitar, the concentration on his sweaty face . . . and he’d wanted you to watch. He’d wanted you there, in that moment, with him.

You could still see him clear as day, tanned skin glowing in the B&G, his eyes golden in the evening sun, pleading with you. . .

“I really want you there.”

When you’d gone to their last shows in June, all you wanted was to feel that way again. Connected to him. Close to him. You wanted it so badly—but it seemed he didn’t want it anymore. He hadn’t looked at you once during any of the shows. To be fair, you had been standing so far towards the back that it’s possible he hadn’t even known you were there. But, he hadn’t even tried to seek you out to ask you to come like he had before (if it really was possible he thought you weren’t there). 

Things were just different than before. 

So, yeah. It was best that you didn’t go. You didn’t want to seem desperate or possibly annoy him with your presence just in case he did see you at a show. You’d made up your mind that it was obvious he didn’t want you there. He wanted things like they currently were. 

And it wasn’t so much that it hurt to have him act so aloof and absent and uncaring. It didn’t hurt. Really. You’d tried to convince yourself that he was just making you angry. Nothing more.

So, you just continued to play his game however well you could. It wasn’t that important. 

Though, any time he left the apartment, looking deliciously ready for a performance, all you wanted to do was follow. But instead, all you’d actually do was look at him from wherever he passed you in the apartment. You’d glare at him, matching his pissy behavior as long as he continued to show it. 

But you’d eventually noticed that his eyes weren’t always holding irritation when he passed you. . .sometimes, you could have sworn his eyes held more longing than anything. 

Although, as soon as you’d think you saw it, he was already gone. And you would eventually decide that you’d imagined it.

You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if it was possible that underneath his moodiness he did still want you?

All you wanted was to understand what he was feeling. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

So, after not going to their shows for the first couple weeks of July, Josh had finally reached out on the night of one, asking if you’d come because he ‘missed seeing you’.

You initially wanted to send a text back that said: ‘No, sorry. Your brother sucks and I’m mad at him right now. And if I go all I’ll want to do is fuck him senseless after watching him play, even though he probably doesn’t want that at all. So, I have to decline.’ 

But, then you guiltily started thinking of how you needed to support your best friend and the other two guys. It was incredibly rude of you to not go see Josh, Sam, and Danny do their thing simply because Jake was a pain in the ass that you couldn’t figure out. 

You wanted to support your friends. Support Josh.

So that’s why you ended up texting an ‘Of course! What time?’ in response. 

And as you got ready that night, you pulled on a cropped Cream T-shirt, thinking momentarily of your roommate. Would he like it if he saw it? Or would it piss him off?

Pushing it out of your mind, you focused on how excited you were now, the idea of getting to see them live again. 

The guys put on a helluva show; they were absolutely magnificent, so magnetic. 

Once you felt totally ready to go, you secured an Uber to pick you up, already planning to have a few drinks to ease your mind at the show.

As you put your shoes on, you thought. . . The thing that made you most excited really wasn’t seeing the band perform again as a whole. It wasn’t even the thought of seeing Josh. It was getting to simply be near Jake again, pathetic as it may sound. And the thought of seeing him play again. . . Fuck. Watching him was so enticing. He was like a drug. . .always drawing you in.

There was no denying the way your stomach fluttered at the thought of watching him perform again. Because even though he was pissing you off and you had no earthly clue how in the hell he was feeling, watching him perform was unlike any adrenaline rush you’d ever experienced. 

(Save for the feeling of your blood pumping erratically at the feeling of him tucked between your legs. That was a feeling unlike anything else.)

-🌼🌼🌼-

Like you had at shows before, you sat at the back to witness the performance. 

It had been great, per usual. Jake had left you wanting him from your seat. And just like it had been at the shows in June, he never failed to make you feel incredibly stupid for stopping things in the bathroom the night of their first show. 

Yet now, while they performed their encore, you hadn’t left the venue like you normally did. You hadn’t tried to get the hell out of dodge. 

No, tonight, you stood at the outdoor bar area connected to the back of the venue. It was set in a huge space covered in bright green turf, a small patio with a couple of tables, and plenty of Edison bulb string lights to set the cool mood of the place. 

There were even a couple of ping pong tables and a cornhole game set up for people to play at. A random sporting event was drawing in a few college-aged men, on a giant flat screen TV.

Although, unlike those men, it wasn’t your choice to be hanging out in the open area. You had wanted to avert to your normal plan of leaving to go home with a quick ‘proud of you!’ text to Josh. 

You wanted to avoid Jake seeing you at all costs. But Josh had inadvertently seen to it that you wouldn’t get away with that plan again.

He’d apparently caught onto your little trick. Before you could begin to type a text, and before they’d even come out for their encore, Josh had sent a text. Or three. 

Josh, 10:23 p.m.: Don’t you dare leave.

Josh, 10:23 p.m.: I really want to see you and give you a hug 

Josh, 10:24 p.m.: I don’t see you nearly enough these days and I miss you dearly and I really want to have just one drink with you after the show. Pleeeeaaaase

So, here you were, outside before the set even totally ended, standing at the bar, downing another lemon drop to calm your nerves. You really just wanted to be home, with Stevie snoring against your calves. 

You were not totally ready to be in the same area as Jake for an extended amount of time.

You were just asking for your another beer when you felt someone sidle up beside you. The nudge against your shoulder, and the familiar hint of patchouli in his cologne, made you grin at your best friend.

“One salty dog for me,” Josh said as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. After a nod, the bartender went to get his drink ready, and he turned you fully into him to give you a big hug. 

It felt so safe. . . but you couldn’t help the feeling of wanting to be this close to Jake instead.

When you pulled away, you momentarily closed your eyes, collecting your thoughts. When you opened them, you watched as he placed an elbow on the bar and a hand on his hip. His eyebrow went up. 

“Great job tonight. I’m so prou—.”

“Why haven’t you let me know your anxiety’s been flaring up again?” He interrupted, obviously worried.

You blinked once. What? “What?”

“Last month, you kept fleeing before I could even take a breath after a set. I figured you were just trying to get some sleep with your summer classes starting. But then you just stopped coming altogether,” he scooted in closer to you. His voice got lower, his eyes concerned. “I just wanted to put eyes on you. I’ve been so busy; I haven’t had time to check on you like normal. My schedule is shit. I figured this would be a way for me to see you and make sure you’re doing alright,” he continued, reaching his hand up to lightly rub your shoulder. “It came later this time. I expected it to get bad at the end of May, but it never came. What’s going on? Are you okay? Are you eating?”

Your cheeks pinkened. With your concern for avoiding Jake at these gigs, you hadn’t even taken time to think about how your behavior might have worried Josh. Of course he’d been thinking deeply about your absence. He cared so much for you, and was a sole confidant on multiple occasions of your depression induced anxiety flare-ups. And, to be fair, being flighty usually signaled the beginning of your bigger bouts with your superb anxiety-depression combo.  

You’d had a few times in your friendship where it had gotten really bad. Definitely a trauma response, almost always coming with a change in season. For some reason, the change in leaves, flowers blooming — it always made you think of just how much your mom had broken you. You didn’t get to appreciate the beauty without it being tainted by darkness. Your mother's leaving had come right at the turn of fall into winter. 

There had been a few times after Elsie left when it got so bad that Josh’d insisted he stay with you. With your sister around, he wouldn’t always stay the night when it hit you, but he’d check on you at work, and hover with texts, food, and quality time until he felt you were better.

But this had nothing to do with your mother. And really, your anxiety wasn’t bad. Jake wasn’t causing you anxiety for you at all right now. You didn’t know what you were feeling. Were you on edge around Jake at all times? Yes. But it wasn’t anxiety. It definitely wasn’t depression. Sadness that he could possibly not want you, yes. But it wasn’t something dark like the thought your mother might bring. You didn’t know what it was. 

You just knew you had to reassure Josh.

“I’m okay,” you looked into his eyes and reached out to hold his hand on the bar. “Yes, I’m eating. I’m just—feeling a lot right now? I don’t know. It’s weird,” you shook your head and removed your hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. How could you explain this to him? You couldn’t. “Just a lot going on in my head.” 

He studied you, squinted his eyes. “Is there something I should know about?” He questioned, his voice getting crisper as he tried to make pieces click. Your stomach dropped. “You’re being vague. You’re sure it’s not—?”

“No,” you shut your eyes, huffing a frustrated breath. “Yes. I’m—it’s just—I don’t know.” Improvise, improvise, improvise. “When Elsie was in town, we talked about my mom. I’ve just been in my feelings, I guess. And, yeah, summer classes have started and that’s added some pressure, too. But it’s not anxiety or depression or anything,” you connected eyes with him again, and reached to squeeze his hand. “I promise.”

He still didn’t seem convinced. You weren’t surprised. He was an empath after all. He shouldn’t be convinced. He knew better than to believe that was all it was. But you didn’t want him knowing any better than an assumption in his head. And as long as the assumption didn’t have anything to do with his brother, you were okay with whatever he was assuming. And, you being in a weird headspace because of your mom wasn’t a lie. You truly had been. He’d even witnessed it at the coffee shop. 

It just wasn’t the whole truth. The biggest thing was something he absolutely couldn’t know: the way your mind had been swarmed with Jake, Jake, Jake for the past months. And it’d only gotten worse with the past couple . . .events.

The thought of Josh catching on to anything about his brother continued to make you fearful of him possibly being cross with you over it. Or worse, made you fear him feeling betrayed by you. You didn’t want him upset or thinking poorly of you for possibly distracting Jake in any way. 

You couldn't be to Jake what his ex had been. And you feared Josh’s mind would go to that immediately—out of protection for his brother. Rightfully so.

His eyes settled back to normal, accepting your answer for the time being. His eyes curved down with understanding. “I saw you watching that girl and her mom at the coffee shop. I should’ve known.”

All you could do was nod. You didn’t know what more to say to cover your ass. 

You cleared your throat, signaling you were ready for a change of topic. “Enough about me. How are you feeling about all of these amazing shows, rockstar?”

He grinned wide, letting his worries go as a drink landed in front of him. 

And in no time, things were like they’d always been. 

Just you and Josh, not a lingering thought for Jake’s moods as you let yourself listen to his twin’s many thoughts and feelings of this new life of his.

You just had to try your best to ignore the way your heart leapt in your chest at any mention of Jake’s name in a story.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

I wasn’t prepared for the sight of her as I walked out onto the back area of the establishment. 

And fuck it all, if she wasn’t the first thing my eyes found in that slightly crowded space. It would be impossible for her not to be—she was most definitely the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen. 

But my heart immediately dropped when it registered that she was holding Josh’s hand, talking animatedly with him. It would be stupid for me to assume she’d come for anyone else but him. 

I had thought for sure that she’d been interested—wanted me—that night at Baby’s All Right. She’d said so much the night before that —her being so open with me at our home, right before we’d kissed for the first time in the hallway. 

Then, that night at Baby’s. . .I’d been so close to her, feeling her swollen pussy, still wet from my mouth, on the head of my cock. The way her body had thrummed around me. . .making my body need more. 

But just before I was inside of her, she’d heard my brother and her mind had gone immediately to him. Only caring what he thought. 

I didn’t know what to think about what they had between them. It was very possible that they were just friends—best friends. I knew that was likely the case. 

(And if I were thinking reasonably—it was definitely the case from how Josh talked about her sister.)

But my ways of reasonable thinking had been shot to shit these days. 

I’d been burned by assuming something similar in the past. The whole “just friends” thing was a cover I wasn't too fond of. Thanks to the woman I’d loved in the past, my trust was shot and I had become a primarily “glass half empty” thinker. My past had bit me in the fuckin’ ass. 

But y/n—she made me feel electric again—full of life. She was the most beautiful symbol of a fresh start. A fresh start I’d been craving—a feeling I’d been chasing for years. 

I truly hadn’t felt so full of possibility since I was 16. Even when we’d bicker, I felt this glimmer of hope for my life. . . She was a natural light. 

I just wanted her so bad, going dizzy at the sight of her . . . And that was a feeling I hadn’t ever felt with any other woman. My brain was almost always fuzzy when she was near. 

She was absolutely breathtaking, every movement she made that had her hair flowing in slow motion around her head, the way her eyes hooded when it was just the two of us. . . but even better, the way her eyes shined, so bright, all the time. She was positively heaven sent. 

And I’d be an idiot to think she’d want me more than my brother—who she’d known for years, who she was instantly drawn to at all times. They had natural chemistry. Anyone with two eyes could see it. 

She deserved a light that matched her own. Could I capture that light? Yes, I knew I could. But I’d been so terrible to her from the get-go; I wouldn’t blame her gravitating towards Josh—feeling safer with him. 

Like he always said, he was the sun, and I was the moon. I naturally came with darkness. I’d made it clear enough by acting like an asshole for the first portion of my time living with her. 

People who knew me knew I was notoriously terrible at reacting to hurt. I didn’t naturally know how to handle my emotions like Josh was practically born knowing to do. 

And the moment I laid eyes on her that first night at the apartment—when she’d opened the door. . .her hair falling against her sweet face, her eyes opening to show me the most beautiful color I’d ever seen. I knew then that I was a goner. 

But it’d seemed to be terrible timing at that instant. Feeling so drawn to her—it was coming right after I’d had the biggest life change. My heart was hurting—not necessarily broken, just . . . lost.

And I didn’t want her to be involved in the hopeless sea I’d been drowning in since my past troubles had come crashing down around me. 

Though, when I’d first seen her, standing there, the evening sun hitting her stunning face in her doorway— I felt like all of the pirates I loved to study. I’d found a hidden treasure I couldn’t even imagine could be so beautiful— just around the bend for so long, finally in my grasp. 

But I hadn’t known her. I hadn’t even met her. She was a treasure that wasn't mine to enjoy.

And I truly needed to heal, without bringing someone else down with me. I was scared of all I was feeling, and I only knew to react with bluntness, rudeness, irritation at every fucking turn. I’d even brought girls to bed to try to get her the fuck out of my mind. 

But it never happened. She was persistently there, in my everyday routine, in the eyes of the girls I'd mindlessly fuck. She'd sealed a sweet spot in my brain. 

But I’d still kept up with the douchebag act.

It was so unfair.

She’d tried so hard to be friendly, and I never greeted it well. I hadn’t known what to make of it all. That first night, Josh had said we were the same. Though, as he’d said this, I’d been watching her—so peaceful and beautiful, deep in a surely dreamful sleep. 

It’d instantly made my stomach dip when he said it. . . I knew well enough that she couldn’t be the same as me. 

But she was the same as Josh—pure, unadulterated bright, yellow sunshine. She was the sun on a spring day, flowers blooming and the grasses so green. Not a cloud in sight. 

But I was the cloud in her flawless sky. I’d been reminded of that when she’d stopped us at Baby's, saying she didn’t want Josh to know. It seemed she didn’t want to take a chance on people knowing we’d been so close.

I could only assume she didn’t want that darkness in her life, and I didn’t blame her. 

So I’d separated myself from her.

After that night, when Josh had told me of her being at our other gigs in June, I’d brushed it off. I knew why she was there—for Josh. I hadn’t even tried to seek her out because I knew that wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want me near her. Didn’t want people to know how close we had been. 

How well her body shaped to mine in secret— and it was just that: a secret she wanted kept. 

Especially wanted it kept from Josh. To him, she wanted us to be strictly roommates. So that’s what I’d decided I’d be for her. 

I’d wanted to ask her to come to shows after our little stint, but I fought the urge every time it came on. I wanted her there, I fed off of her energy—she made me play better. But, I didn’t want to rub her the wrong way after she’d put her foot down in the bathroom. I didn’t want to come off too strong. 

I’d also given my best attempt to not let my feelings show in the past weeks. It had been so hard anytime I’d meet her beautiful eyes. Her eyes that, over the past week, had seemed to turn from something hopeful when she looked my way to what could only be called disdain —disdain for me.

I had been an asshole, and she was better than that . . . 

But, still, all I wanted was her. I wanted to take back everything I’d said or done out of hurt, due to not knowing how to handle my mess of feelings. 

I wished I could go back to day one and make things different. I wished I could go back in time to stop myself from becoming a slab of stone to cope with my feelings. If I would have just been myself. . . Maybe I’d have her now— ever-endearing and enrapturing.

Fuck. And as I watched her tousle Josh’s hair, I just wanted to feel her fingers in mine again. My heart twinged with jealousy at the action.

“Look who’s here!” 

Sam’s loud voice snapped me out of my reverie. I continued to watch her, her smile widened at Sam’s voice, looking in his direction, and away from Josh. Then, without warning, she looked over to me as I was still studying her face—the way her full lips stretched to show her beautiful beam. 

But as soon as she looked at me, her smile fell. And all I wanted in that moment was for her smile to get bigger when she saw me, just as it had when she saw Sam.

I just wanted her. 

I decided at that moment, I was going to bite the bullet. I could make one more move to be close to her again. And if there was one moment where she acted as if she didn’t want it, I’d back off. 

But right now? I couldn’t see that happening. Couldn't see her backing off. She didn’t pull her eyes from mine, and I never let my gaze fall from hers. She held me with her stare, and I held her with mine. 

It was just us.

And as I came up on her other side, opposite Josh, she never broke eye contact with me, turning from my twin. And even as Sam and Danny traveled behind me, she only looked at me. 

I watched her chest rise and fall, the swell of her breasts making my mouth run dry from where they peeked out at the makeshift tear at the top of her shirt. The sugary sweet smell of her perfume made all of my senses lurch forward, wanting to take her—all of her— right at that moment.  

I was close enough to see the shine from the Edison bulbs around us, reflecting in her irises. 

Daniel and Sam came up to give her hugs, honestly acting completely oblivious to what was transpiring between us. Josh was chatting it up with the bartender, asking if he heard us from out here. 

And finally, they all left to go play ping pong. They’d offered for us to go play, but she hadn’t even acknowledged them talking. I waved them off, and looked at them with a shake of my head. I felt her eyes continue to pore over me as she let me do the work to get them to leave. 

Then, y/n and I were in our own world, I placed my forearm on the bar, my body curving to be around hers of its own accord. She followed by turning her whole body to face mine. It felt natural as she leaned into where I stood. She wasn’t quite touching me, but she let her own body follow all of my movements. 

I couldn’t help but feel my chest puff as she let her body move with mine as I matched her, moving in time with her. I was the dull moth and she was the bright, alluring flame.

I wondered if it felt as seamless for her as it did for me, she sat her elbow on the bar, and leaned her hip against a stool. She went to sit on top of it, but she struggled with her footing, so I let my instincts take control and I helped her onto it. However I could help her, I wanted to. 

I also wanted nothing more than to touch her, so that seemed like the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. 

The gasp she released when I touched her, and lifted her the slightest bit to help her situate on the glittery plastic top of the stool, combined with the way her legs spread the slightest bit, her black jean shorts showing so much of her sweet, sun-kissed thighs—it made all of my blood rush through me and to a throbbing halt at the head of my cock.

I wanted to cross my legs to make sure it wouldn’t show what she was doing to me. But she was so magnetic, I couldn’t help the last step I took, towards the stool, to be closer to her. I was so close that my thighs touched her knees. Her knees, which she then crossed, in the process grazing the zipper of my jeans. 

My breath caught in my chest, and my dick pulsed. She was still looking down at where she’d touched me, so I knew she saw what I felt happening in my pants. 

She shot me a look, questioning all of this. And all I could do was look down at her, letting my eyes sweep over her entire outfit. So simple, yet so lovely, as always. She was wearing a cropped band tee (Cream. Fuck—did she do that on purpose?) and those cut off black denim shorts, with her black-colored toenails showing in a pair of cheap black flip flops. 

I swallowed hard, feeling so entranced by her. My gaze went back to her face, the most appealing part of the woman. Her face was so open, so kind, so pretty—it had done nothing but draw me in since day one. And being so close to her again, I saw the familiar dusting of a few lighter freckles that dotted her nose. She was smiling—her eyes were smiling— at me. 

Somehow it seemed she knew exactly what was going through my mind. Crazy how we’d been avoiding each other for the past couple of weeks, but now just clicked back together as if we were back at Baby’s All Right—in the cramped space of that bathroom.

I looked into her bright eyes, feeling something overwhelming come to life in my chest. 

Fucking hell. She was perfect.

I needed this. I needed to feel this with her again. I’d missed it. The closeness.

“Hi,” I said with a nod, just loud enough for her ears to hear. 

She blinked once, her eyes wide and wondering. Fuck. She was so damn cute. 

Then, I watched fondly as her dimples showed in her cheeks with a soft grin. “Hi.”

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

It had been a decent amount of time since Jake had come up to stand right next to you, completely ruining any chance for sanity on your end. 

He’d acted so normal, so forward. His actions were exactly what you’d needed to feel relieved—to know that all was okay. 

You’d gotten nervous being around him, like Elsie would say, you were pretty sure you had a ‘good ‘ol crush.’ Nothing more. You focused on complimenting the set when you’d talked, asking simple questions, just to hear his voice explain the same things Josh already had. The raspiness in his tone was just delicious, and you wanted to hear the small things from his perspective more than anyone else’s.

When you weren’t listening to him talk, you pretended to be interested in the game on the flat screen—you had no clue what they were doing on the field, but it was distracting you from how sweaty your palms were getting at Jake being so close.

Though, you were now several beers (and a couple margaritas) in, previously deciding you wanted to make this night like old times where you’d get drunk and have fun with the guys. The boys’d come up to you a few times in your precious time being next to Jake. They’d bump you with a shoulder as they grabbed a drink. . . Josh only coming by once or twice, having been the chosen one to hold off, as he was the DD.

And, per usual, Sammy had chosen a game that would supposedly be much more fun, completely inebriated: ‘drunk ping pong.’ 

“Like normal ping pong, except you’re drunk!” Sam had excitedly said, his signature cackle following his words. He was right there with you on the 'shitface scale'.

Jake had barely left your side all night, and it felt so right to be so close to him, to stay with him. It felt right, just like it had before, except this time, it had nothing to do with anything sexual. . .it was just his simple presence that made you feel good. 

(You weren't going to talk about how you'd felt his dick twitch in his tight jeans. . .because holy fuck. Your panties had been the victim when that had happened.)

By the middle of the ping pong game, you were still drinking. You felt light in the head, completely carefree. You even caught yourself leaning into Jake a few times, the two of you deciding to be a team against Sammy and Danny. Josh preferred being the referee for the game, getting a chance to nonstop talk by narrating the entire game.

At one point, you knew you were leaning back into him, but you were far too gone to care. You’d purposefully pressed your ass against his crotch, and he’d patiently repositioned you. You were grateful for him being so aware, because you knew you’d regret it in the morning if something stupid happened in front of your friends. You just couldn’t control your actions like a sober-you normally could. 

You were in a body that was moving on its own, your brain barely registering what you’d do.

He’d repeatedly asked if you were doing alright, and you’d get so lost in his chocolate gaze you could only breathe a ‘yes’ in response. 

And, now, as you settled into a booth inside the establishment, it was nearing 1 a.m., and you were simply listening to the guys talk about their next performance. And as you had been all night, you were next to Jake. 

At this point, you were cuddled up next to him more than anything else. You felt so cozy with him. His body was a warm furnace for yours. You were sitting in a way that none of the other guys could see what you were doing. Because of them not seeing your bottom half, you situated a leg over his thigh, comfortably draping it the best you could to make it look as inconspicuous as possible (while simultaneously being incredibly drunk). 

But you could barely worry about it when you leaned your head on his shoulder. You were sleepy. And he was warm, right, and close. 

And he smelled so fucking good. Hints of sage and vanilla overwhelmed your senses, mixed with sweat. . .it was the perfect mixture that helped to lull you to sleep, along with the calming vibration of his voice as he talked with his brothers, your head laying on his shoulder perfectly placed for the melodic sound waves from his voice. 

And right before you dozed off, you felt one of his calloused hands lay on your thigh, warm on your cooled skin. You snuggled into him, a small smile finding its way to your lips.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Before you knew it, the same hand was squeezing your thigh, urging you to wake up.

“Y/n. . .let’s go home,” his voice softly said, his minty breath hitting your face. Home. As your eyes wedged open, you looked up at him to find the apples of his cheeks redden with a deep laugh as he reacted to something Josh said.

If only you could just kiss him - right then and there.

You were still too out of it to register what Josh was saying, but you noticed the other three standing around the booth, Jake securely next to you still. 

Your tummy fluttered at him being so attentive to you, and continued on that way as he helped you climb out (or rather squeak out of the booth, your bare thighs making racket against the seat). 

“Y/n. . .,” Sam started, his voice way too high for him to be requesting your name for anything too serious. And still, you looked up at him as you finally edged your way to the very end of the red booth. “Did you fart?!”

The rest of the guys started chuckling with him, and you couldn’t help but join in as you went to punch his scrawny chest. “Shut the fuck up, you fucker.”

Danny whooped, beating a fist in the air. He started leading the way out of the bar. As you all followed, he turned to catch your eye briefly. “Y/n. . . coming in with some nasty ass insults tonight,” he laughed. “You’re killing it, Baby Dragon.”

“Haven't heard that one for a hot damn second,” Josh remarked, right behind Danny, waiting to hold the door open for you, Jake, and Sam. “Baby Dragon.”

Jake looked at you and Sam curiously, wanting an in on the nickname. 

“Baby Dragon?” He questioned, taking the door from Josh to let you into the dark night, under his lifted arm. 

“Game of Thrones,” was Sammy’s explanation, as he started teetering on his feet, balancing himself on the ledge of the sidewalk to keep himself busy. “Baby dragons.”

You could tell he was still wondering why, so you tried to extend Sam’s drunken response with your own woozy one. “I’m a baby dragon.”

Well, that made no damn sense, you thought, giggling to yourself.

The guys started busting up laughing, Jake still dipping his eyebrows in at you, a smile playing on his full lips. He was watching your every motion, continuing as you looped your arm with Sammy, trying to balance with him.

Josh continued, more lucid than either of you. “We watched Game of Thrones week after week at our apartment for about a year. . . binged it together,” he nodded his head toward you, smirking. “One of y/n’s favorite ways to bond is with a good television show. And she had been dying for us to watch it with her. So, we did.”

The curly headed twin then laughed at you and Sammy as you both nearly fell, making the same ridiculous sound as you almost went down. Sam thankfully recovered in time, even with his feet slippery in his Birkenstocks. He held you close to him. It made you laugh even harder as he playfully checked you for bumps and bruises. 

“We deemed her Baby Dragon,” Danny finished.  

Jake nodded, but he still wanted more information, looking left out. You also noticed him looking as though he’d discovered something. And then it clicked that Josh had exposed a bonding tactic of yours. You slapped your forehead, your reactions still slow, even after your nap, where you had snoozed off the tiniest bit of alcohol. 

“Josh!” You scolded him, way past time. You still made no sense, randomly saying his name— you knew this. 

But, the more Josh looked at you dubiously, you thought you’d leave it at that. You didn’t need to correct him for saying anything. Because, well, it really wasn’t that big of a deal, the more you thought of it. Maybe you were okay with Jake knowing you’d used TV to bond with him. 

In this state, you could plainly admit that you wanted him to know your heart—all of your intentions. And you wanted to tell him all of your desires. . . Show him, even. You were craving him, especially after being so close with him all night. It felt nice. 

You looked up to observe him at that moment, but he was checking his phone, his eyebrows crinkled. He looked up from it, clicking it closed and glancing to the street to see a car rolling up.  

“Your Uber AWAITS!” Sam declared, motioning to the car that had pulled up to the curb, the black and white Uber sign in the corner of the window to confirm his words. 

“Jake, you need to get a damn car,” Josh noted, opening the back door for you. “I’m tired of being your chauffeur. And Uber is going to get tired of you soon, too,” He caught your eye and winked, nodding over to your roommate. “Y/n, I’m thinking it’s your turn to cart Jake around everywhere he goes.”

You approached the nice little silver car, rolling your eyes at Josh, but still giving him a hug as you came up next to him. “Love you, Joshy,” you leaned in, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m not taking any car advice from you, Mister Clunkerfuck,” he commented plainly. It made you burst out with laughter. “Your car is on its last fuckin’ leg. It’s going to break down on you at the worst possible moment and I’m not going to feel bad. I think you’re the one who needs to get a car—a new one.”

Sam started drunkenly singing a track you hadn’t heard that included the lyrics ‘you’re the one’. His actions were dramatic, only Danny paid him any mind, starting to sing with him, being just as goofy. 

You were still thinking of what Jake had said. It was exactly how you thought of Josh’s car.

“Clunkerfuck,” you smiled in Jake’s direction. Though, when you caught his eye, he looked a little downcast, you just couldn’t pin why. Maybe you were seeing it, all dazed out. “Good one, Jakey.”

Jakey? It did register in time that you’d called him that, and you were instantly embarrassed by your nickname for him. Too far. So, you hurriedly got in the car, your cheeks flushing as you haphazardly yelled goodbyes to the other guys. 

“Nighty night, Baby Dragon,” Josh had said with a laugh, calling you the nickname once more, closing the door behind you. You’d honestly forgotten about the nickname. . .it had been so long since they’d used it. 

Before you knew it, Jake was scooting into the passenger seat to offer an address to the driver. 

He doesn’t want to sit next to me? You thought, sadly. But he chose to be close to me the rest of the night. . . Why not now?

You tried not to look too disappointed on the outside as he was back to ignoring you for the twenty minute drive back to your place. He paid you no mind, and didn’t even care to check on you like he had all night, on the ride back. 

You weren’t able to give it much thought as you looked at the GPS and reasoned you could get a good nap in on the way home. Drinking always made you feel so tired. 

You laid your head against the cooled window next to you. Jake’s naturally husky (fucking sexy) tone as he spoke to the driver, was the last thing you heard semi-coherently. 

You let the car sway you to sleep for the last 10-ish minutes of the drive back, only one handsome man, with long hair and a voice that dripped of sex, waiting behind your lids as they closed. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were still feeling loopy as Jake helped you up the stairs to the apartment. 

You’d had way too much to drink. You needed sleep. 

Once you entered the apartment, it was so quiet and dark. . .you needed light. So, you felt against the wall to switch the light on. But, you instantly regretted it, covering your eyes with both hands. 

“My eyes!” You yelped, way too dramatically. And when you peeked through your fingers, you saw Jake stooped down, next to Stevie’s dish, giving her a scoop of food. She nudged her little gray head against his hand. Your heart squeezed at the sight. But it was still too bright. “My eyes!”

With two hands still covering your eyes, you sauntered, on unsteady foot in front of the other, back towards the switch you’d used to flip the lights on. 

But before you could get to the switch, you knocked into a chair, sending you back onto your ass. Yet again, dramatically.

“Ow!” You moved a hand from your eyes to massage your sore butt, and as you did, you saw Jake moving to switch the lights off. You were once again cloaked in darkness, but he turned the lamp on closest to him. You sighed, your ass not hurting as much as you’d imagined it had. Now you only cared about the lights, how perfectly dimmed the room was. “Ahhh. . .Much better.”

Your lids were drooping again, and you were not looking forward to getting back up on wobbly feet to make the trek to your bedroom. 

Deciding the floor was a comfy enough bed for the night, you laid back, curling onto your side, your hands under your left cheek to make a pillow. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

Her eyes slid closed. I watched her, a small grin on my face. So adorable. 

But, she was so gone. I felt bad appreciating her being so cute while she was so incoherent. 

So instead of taking advantage, I’d taken it upon myself to watch over her and make sure she was alright all night. I kept my drinking to a minimum so I could keep a careful eye on her.

We’d spent the whole night together, enjoying each other’s company (even if she had been slightly—very—drunk). It’d felt so right. 

My heart had beat at being like that with her in a similar way it did when we’d watch New Girl together. But, it was different tonight. Instead of only sitting on a couch, we’d been together, walking around, playing, her willingly (albeit drunkenly) falling asleep on my shoulder, a smooth leg draped over mine (holy fuck, by the way). 

We hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk a whole lot, thanks to my brothers demanding our attention. The only talking we had partaken in had been very little. And it’d only been about what she’d thought of the set, little questions she had for me. We’d mostly just taken time to be next to each other. 

For me, it’d felt like coming back home.

I had just watched her as she watched the game on a TV in front of us (didn’t peg her as a girl who liked sports, but whatever), occasionally looking over at me to share a secret smile, making my skin hot with want for her. 

I’d hoped, sitting there on those barstools, that she’d felt it with me—the whole cheesy ass ‘coming home’ thing. 

But then, having to stand there and watch her kiss Josh on the cheek at the end of the night . . .that had been a kick in the fuckin’ ass. I’d literally felt my heart sink in my chest as I watched them, their respective energies feeding off of the other so well. . . they were practically one. 

He’d even helped her into the car, once again calling her that ‘baby dragon’ thing that I couldn’t understand at all. I couldn’t understand her the way he could—the way all of the guys could. I hadn’t been around to get to know her with the rest of them. I wasn’t in sync with her like they were—like Josh was. 

I was late to the game. Probably too late. 

Though, when we got home, I still wanted to help her with a few small things . . . It was impossible for me not to try and help her (even if she didn’t fit as well with me as she did my brother).

And at this moment, I could tell that she was going to let herself sleep on the floor. 

But I wasn’t going to let that happen. 

Bending down next to her beautiful body, I couldn’t help but bite my lip when I saw her round ass peeking out from the bottom of her shorts. She was filled out in all of the right places—an absolute fucking masterpiece. 

Then I heard a little whimper in her sleep. A sigh, as she probably started slipping into dreamland. I felt my dick harden just the slightest bit when I thought of hearing those same whimpers through the walls. . . how she’d said my name in her sleep a few times — moaned it, even. . . Off in her dreams where I could have only hoped to meet her.

I’d spent many mornings so sexually fucking frustrated with how close, yet so far she was. So many times—I was there, right next door to her as my name would slip from her lips. And with only a thin wall between us, I’d jerked my cock into a hand I’d imagined was her sweet pussy, having to bite my lip to keep from saying her name.

Fuck. I palmed at my crotch, willing my dick to soften. Now was not the time.

I touched her shoulder, nudging her a bit. “Y/n. . .come on, wake up. You don’t wanna sleep on the floor.”

She sighed again, “Yes, I do,” she retorted. 

And then she moaned as she snuggled further into the carpet. Her moan. Fuck. She was like a damn good drug. 

“No, you don’t,” I scooped my hands under her back, ready to carry her to bed. “I’ll carry you if you don’t move yourself. Come on.”

I saw her lids flutter, eyes still closed. A little smirk graced her features. “Carry me, Jakey,” she mused. 

There she was using that nickname for me again, I thought. It sounded so much better, sweeter coming from her lips than I’d ever heard it.

And when I let both of my hands totally slip under her, scooping her into my arms, and against my chest, her eyes blinked open, still slightly hooded. Her eyebrows curved in, the look she was giving me telling me she hadn’t believed I would do it. 

She wiggled, arguing. “Jake. You don’t have to,” wiggle. “Carry,” wiggle. “Me.”

I gripped her a bit tighter, but did give her a chance to climb out of my arms. “I’ll let you walk if you want to,” I continued, letting my guard down with my next words. “But I really like being this close to you. . .feeling you against me.”

When she looked at me again, it was as if she’d totally sobered at what I’d said (even though I knew better). Her eyes were inquiring, but so full of an emotion I couldn’t fully place in that moment. All I knew was her unnamed emotion somehow perfectly matched the thrum of my heart in my chest. 

“Me too.”

And then she looped her arms around my neck, bringing my face down to meet hers, just as we’d made it to her room. 

I couldn’t help it. I let myself give in to her apparent want in that moment, and met her lips with mine. 

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

As Jake carried you further into your room, to your bed, you never let your lips leave his. Even as he laid you down on your bed, you kept kissing him.

Yes, you thought. This. This is what I needed. I needed him.

You knew you weren’t totally sober, but when he’d said what he did about liking the feeling of being close to you. . . it had made your heart leap into your throat with joy. Because you’d been hoping he still felt like that. You’d been hoping so hard to hear words like that, that it had kind of snapped you from your drunken daze. 

And having him on top of you, laying his body between your legs that naturally opened to make room for him. . .the feeling was divine.

Having Jake with you, it was more than the alcohol that still lingered in your system. You wished you hadn’t let yourself get so wasted tonight, wished you'd have taken him coming closer to you as a sign to not make tonight ‘like old times’. You realized that you wanted it to be new times—times where Jake was here. Things were different with him around. 

And now that you were so far away from the beginnings of him living with you, seeing him show bits of himself, outside of his shroud, throughout June. . . knowing what his lips tasted like—you could admit that having him around was a good type of different. 

Your mouth opened, needing his tongue to meet yours. As soon as it entered your mouth, you sucked on it, loving the taste, the feeling of it, safe in your mouth. 

Needing to be closer to him, you leaned up the slightest bit. You had to feel your skin against his. Closer, closer.

You separated your mouth from his, your lips wet, probably looking just like his: swollen and pink. 

His eyes were dark, lids hooded, encouraging you. You tugged at his shirt, and he got the idea. Thanks to not buttoning his shirts all the way, he was able to slip his short sleeve floral button down over his head. As he did that, you reached around the hem of your old T-shirt, taking it off. 

But before you could throw it to the side, he reached a hand out to grab it, turning the front of it to face you. The members of Cream, staring at you from the splotch of white on black material.

“Does it get you off?” He questioned, an eyebrow raised. “Turning me on with these little outfits you wear to the shows?” 

You smirked, your eyes hazing with want for him. He’d liked your choice of shirt. It hadn’t irritated him. You had made progress. You weren’t at square one anymore. Thank God.

“You liked it?” You rhetorically asked. “You were all I thought about when I put it on.”

His eyes glazed over, just like your own. He liked that.

He huffed, his mouth forming a grin before leaning down to nip at your lips, throwing the shirt to the side. His hands found your thighs, lifting them around his hips. He sucked your bottom lip, moving his tongue to lick into your mouth, his mouth following yours as you melted into the feeling, needing more. 

You pushed him away again, using the time he was leaned back to take your shorts off. He helped you so you didn’t have to awkwardly wriggle out of them. You flashed your eyes at him, smiling with them. 

Then once they were gone, you sat up fully, legs falling from around his hips, to help him. You messed with the button of his jeans. 

He placed his hand over yours, stopping you. You looked up to question him. And as you did, he was already laying you back down, honed in on the sight of your chest that hadn’t stopped heaving since you’d kissed him. 

“Did you think of me when you put this on?” He pulled at the strap of your bra- the same bralette you’d had on the night you’d first kissed. His eyes looked down at the rest of your body, palms running smoothly up your thighs, and over the curves of your hips, giving them a firm squeeze that made you thrust up towards him. His eyes found yours, completely dark. “Don’t start with that.”

Okay, I will, you thought, ready to tease him.

You moved a leg to be between both of his, bending it at the knee, causing it to rub against his crotch ever so slightly, then you brought it back down to lay beside your other leg, looking up at him, eyes innocent. 

“Oops,” you smirked, watching his own lips quirk. 

But as soon as his mouth lifted, it fell into a frown. His eyes squeezed shut, brows drew in, his jaw suddenly set as he ground his teeth. . . 

He looked . . . Frustrated? 

He started shaking his head and quickly grabbed his shirt, going to get off the bed. 

What the fuck?

It made you sit up again, like you had minutes before, but out of alarm this time. 

“Jake?” You worriedly asked, getting off your bed to follow him, clothes be damned. 

He didn’t respond, only grumbled something under his breath. You couldn’t understand him and you were wondering what in the hell was going on. 

As you followed him out of your room and a few steps to his room at the end of the hallway, you grabbed his arm before he could open the door to his room. 

“What’s going on? Are you—?.”

He roughly shook your hand off of his arm.

“Y/n. Go to bed,” he gruffly said, his next words made your throat tighten up even more than his initial tone. “It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone. Go to bed.”

Your mind was suddenly on high alert, ignoring any kind of lingering effects of alcohol, you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

What the fuck was his fucking problem? 

A mistake? That's what you were?

“Jake. . .,” you went to grab his arm again, but he turned before you could, facing you. His eyes were stern, dark with anger. It stunned you, so opposite of how he’d been all night. You continued on, not letting his reaction to you, deter you, “You don’t. . .,” swallow the tears, y/n. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” he confirmed. Your chest tightened, you took a step back. “We can’t keep—just go to bed. Leave me alone.”

Your sadness quickly turned to bitterness. . . spitefulness. All of a sudden, you were extremely aware of your state of undress. You felt completely embarrassed from the rejection. You covered your body the best you could. 

“Fine,” you turned quickly on your heel, needing to get away from him and back to the safety of your bedroom. You were suddenly feeling anxious, upset, and ready to recluse. “Good-fucking-night, Jake. I’ll give you what you want. I’ll leave you the fuck alone.”

“Wait, y/n,” you heard his voice behind you.

But you ignored him, gave him a taste of his own medicine. 

Asshole. Fucking asshole. How could someone change so quickly? Be two different people in the span of minutes-time? He had just been telling you how he liked being close to you, he’d barely left you all night. . . Even approached you at the bar, for seemingly no reason but to simply be with you. 

But now? Now you were a mistake.

Fuck him.

“Y/n. . .please, I’m just—.”

Sharply, you spun to face him once you’d made it to your bedroom. You cut him off. “Fuck you, Jake.” 

You let your emotions reflect with an icy glare in his direction. 

Just before you shut the door to your room, you saw his face, completely crestfallen.

When you got back into bed, you curled up into yourself, and angry tears were your sad lullaby to get to sleep. You tried to be quiet enough so he wouldn’t possibly hear you. 

You’d had enough embarrassment for one night and you didn’t want to give him any more reason to judge you, be angry with you, or worst of all—pity you.

As you fell asleep that night, you couldn’t help but think that his sorrowful expression had matched exactly how you felt. Had he been sad? What gave him the right to be sad when he’d cut it off? Called it a mistake?

You worked to push him as far from your mind as you possibly could. You didn’t want to think of him.

He was impossible to understand. As soon as you thought you had an idea of the man, he changed, confusing the hell out of you. 

You tossed and turned, wondering why you still so desperately wanted to understand him. Why did it still matter? He shouldn’t matter. 

When you finally faded to a restless sleep,  you made the decision that you were going to try your hardest to not give a fucking damn about your roommate. 

You apparently weren’t worth his time, so he shouldn’t be worth yours.

You’d meant what you told him. 

Fuck Jake Kiszka.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As the week faded into the next, you’d made it your personal mission to make it perfectly clear to him that you were not giving him any of your time or attention. 

You used one of his earlier tactics and didn’t come out for anything except to eat, shower, go to work, go to class. You tried to avoid seeing him when you knew he was home, so thankful for the work schedules that still got posted on the fridge. 

He now had the additional schedule which showed when they had performances or practices, giving you a couple nights within that week to laze around the apartment with no worries of running into him. 

Occasionally, he tried to stop you to talk to you as you would pass each other. But you weren’t having it. You would cut him off with a wave, a short ‘no’ or a curt ‘goodbye’ as you left the apartment to do your own thing. 

You wanted to make it clear that you were done with whatever the hell you two had been dancing around for the past month. What he didn’t need to know was that you were mostly doing it to convince yourself that you were done with it. 

In the moments he tried to stop you, you would just get hurt all over again that he seemed to be so desperate to beat the dead fucking horse—explain his hateful words. That was all he could possibly want. What else?

And you didn’t want that.

Why did he seem so intent on stopping you to just explain what a mistake being with you had been?

Drawing a line was imperative.

You had to convince yourself that you didn’t still want him and that you didn’t have several passing thoughts of him throughout your days. 

It was much harder than you’d anticipated. Being your roommate, he was still everywhere you turned. No matter how hard you tried to escape him, he was there. In your shared home, in your thoughts, in conversations with Josh. . .

And in your fucking dreams. 

Several days during that blessed week of ignoring him, you woke up in a sweat wanting only him. Your body was calling out to be touched by him. 

And then you had the weak moments. The ones when you’d accidentally run into him, and you wanted to let your guard down, let him know you were hurting more than anything. You wanted to talk to him— wanted to know where he stood. 

But every time, you'd bit your tongue to stop yourself.

He’d said it himself—you were a mistake. 

So, that’s why you never gave in to the temptation to let him talk, or let him know your own feelings about it all. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Classes were a great distraction from what was going on in your heart and home.

Being able to dedicate your time to something completely unrelated to your roommate was exactly what you needed.

Spending more time on things like class work meant less time to think about Jake.

Though, it wasn’t necessarily doing what your family had intended it to. They’d wanted you to take a summer class to get your mind focused back on writing, use the class as a chance to get your passion for writing back.

But just as it had been before the summer class, your love—your passion for writing just wasn’t there anymore.

For some reason, when Jake had come into your life, it'd helped you realize for the first time in years, just how important music was to you. He brought out this spark that had faded. Being able to be around someone so often who was on the same page when it came to a passion for the art of music—it had done something impeccable for you. 

(He’d done it unintentionally—unknowingly—, of course, as he’d hated your guts when you’d started feeling that incredible pull towards music again.) 

And then there was the day in your summer class that pieces started clicking in your head. Slight identity crisis, if you may.

It had come to you when you’d been prompted to discuss and write about inspirations for pursuing writing. And in that moment, you’d realized you couldn’t think of any other reason you’d pursued your degree save for you wanting to be just like Elsie. (And the added bonus of your grandfather encouraging against a pursuit in a musical degree- at all costs.)

You’d set your sights on Elsie years ago as your number one role model. Your mother had left you with only your older sister to inspire you. Elsie loved writing, so in turn, you’d decided that you would also love writing. 

It was her dream. And, unfortunately, you were only just now realizing that maybe it wasn’t fully yours, as you embarked on your senior year of college. 

Terrible timing for Jake to enter your life and bring out that flame you’d always had for music. 

Another strange thing that had come along with Jake entering the picture were thoughts of your mother. More than you’d ever really had before. 

Thanks to Elsie having to use your forgotten past to help you have a better understanding  of Jake, your mom had been in more thoughts than you were comfortable with as of late. 

You hated thinking of her. But after that conversation, every time you saw a child with his or her mother, you had this giant burst of longing in your heart that you couldn’t put a name to.

It was truly odd, but the sight brought you this sense of impending healing. 

Were you finally on a path to figuring out who you truly were in the aftermath of her leaving?

You had no clue what the pull on your heart meant. 

All you knew was, there were a lot of changing feelings that were quite different than anything you’d felt in the past several years of your life. In those many years since your mother had left you broken on the porch step at ten years old—you’d simply gone about everything in life in a sort of monotone style. 

Rather than thinking with your heart, you’d just followed a gray wave. You’d never taken a real initiative to understand yourself. The waves of life had carried you, and you’d let them, willingly. 

It had been easier—more comfortable— than actually taking time to think about yourself and what you wanted. 

But Jake. . .he’d been the cause of bringing about the most feelings you’d had since your mother left in her blaze of glory. He’d brought out pieces of you that you hadn’t come in contact with since you were ten years old and vulnerable, screaming and crying for your mom to come back as she left you, broken.

But with the feelings this time, it truly felt more like a yearning to be more. You felt this sense of understanding for yourself that you hadn’t ever had before.

In some backwards way, he was helping you get to know these pieces of yourself you’d kept in the dark for far too long. Pieces that needed time, attention, and love. 

It was fucking weird. 

You didn’t understand the anatomy of it all. 

But you desperately wanted to learn more about these parts of yourself you were discovering.  

-🌼🌼🌼-

In order to push through the class (and your degree), you decided it was a good idea to pair up with a study buddy. 

You needed someone to help motivate you to keep going—finish with a skip in your step, rather than falling into a pitiful slump. 

It’s why you decided to ask Theo to be that person after class one day.

Surely that was a reason he’d floated back into your life. Help you stay motivated to get this degree. You didn’t know. 

And maybe it could be more. . .he would end up assisting to help you get your mind away from Jake. You didn’t need to be distracted by your roommate. 

Everything happens for a reason, after all. And maybe these were Theo’s reasons in your life.

He’d agreed with no hesitation, which had made a giant smile plaster to your face. 

But why, when you were leaving class, had you felt as though something had fallen to the bottom of your gut? 

-🌼🌼🌼-

“Fiction or non?” 

You were splayed out on your bedroom floor, with Theo across from you. As he’d pored over his textbook, he kept coming up with questions to ask you. 

Sure, it might be cute and endearing in a normal circumstance. But right now, you wanted to focus on studying for a couple of upcoming tests, as summer semesters were the worst at moving so damn quickly. 

There were more important matters at hand than nonsensical small talk. 

Deciding to humor him (and hopefully get back to the task at hand), you responded. “Hmm. . .,” you sat up from where you’d been laying on your stomach to read about Geoffrey Chaucer. “They both have special things about them—both stretch our minds to understand more about other worlds and our own,” you paused, giving it a second to ponder. “Are we talking writing-wise or reading-wise?”

He chuckled, and winked at you. “It doesn’t have to be something you think so deeply about,” he closed his textbook. What was he doing? You still had to make flash cards! “Pretend we’re playing a game and it’s rapid fire questions.”

You didn’t want to be playing a game. You wanted to be sinking your teeth into the intricacies of this author in order to ace your test. 

You shook your head, your eyes stuck on his closed book. “Fuck,” you scratched your eyebrow. Your mind flicked to music: fun to write and read about. You were actually currently reading a book about John Lennon. You had many books on your TBR list about famous musicians. A most intriguing subject, in your opinion. “Non-fiction.”

His face scrunched up. “Nah,” he disagreed. “Fiction.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” his stare was blank in response. “Don’t really have to think too hard about it.”

You tried not to roll your eyes at him. In your opinion, thinking hard about what you were writing or reading was what made it most desirable. It made you venture into undiscovered realms of your mind. 

When you went to lean back over your book, the movement made you realize just how badly your bladder was begging to be released. 

Stupidly, you thought of the ridiculous work schedule on the fridge. 

Why the hell couldn’t you just let yourself go to the damn bathroom without thinking about Jake? You knew it was fucking ludicrous. You just didn’t want to see him. When you pulled up the picture of the fridge on your phone, you saw you were in the clear. He should still be at band rehearsal. 

You tapped your open book, giving Theo a sign that he needed to open his back up. “I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” you stood up, the wave of having to pee rushing through you tenfold at the motion. He still hadn’t gotten the hint to open up his textbook. Ugh. “I’ll be back soon and then we will make our cards for the test.”

And as you exited the room, you saw him finally get back to business and open his book back up.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You dried your hands on the towel next to the sink, and took a look at yourself in the mirror.

He sort of annoyed you, but Theo was still cute, and he’d made you happy in high school. You weren’t totally opposed to the idea of kissing him (or maybe more) by the end of the night.

It seemed to you to be another good plan to get your mind off of Jake.

And Theo seemed interested enough. Considering he’d been more interested in learning about you, rather than the material for class all night (irritating, but whatever). 

Deciding you looked good enough to return, you opened the door to go back. And as you went to walk out, you stopped at a chest in your way. You got dizzy at the smell—smelled so fucking good—familiar. . .

You looked up.

Jake.

Your eyebrows pinched together, not happy at all that you’d crossed paths. Fucking hell. Why wasn’t he. . .?

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like thi—.”

You held a hand up to silence him, crossing your arms. “Why aren’t you at band practice?” 

Why the fuck was he cracking jokes? You were not in the mood. 

“Ended early,” his face hardened when he shrugged, stating it plainly. 

“Why didn’t you just stay with the guys?” You asked, secretly glad he didn’t. For whatever reason. “You could have hung out with them instead of coming back here.”

“Oh,” he stuck his chin out at the word and leaned a shoulder against the door-hinge. He raised a brow and crossed his arms to mirror you. “I see.”

You definitely didn’t glance at how his bicep flexed as his fingers wrapped around it. And you didn’t take time to appreciate his beautiful hair. . . had it started getting slightly longer? 

You shook your head, retraining your eyes.

“Tell me, Jake, what do you see?” You snapped, flicking your eyes up to his.

He scoffed, rolled his eyes. “Saw that guy lying on your bedroom floor, waiting for you. He was even sweet enough to wave at me when he saw me pass your room,” he sarcastically remarked, waving his hand to mimic. 

“We’re just studying,” you hushed back, feeling the (unnecessary) need to reassure him.

He scoffed. “You think that’s all it is to him?”

You narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips before you pulled him by his T-shirt into the bathroom. You weren’t going to discuss this in a place Theo could possibly hear. 

“I know that’s all it is,” you released his shirt like you were repulsed by the touch, when in reality you wanted nothing more than to pull it completely off of him. Damn him. "Why does it matter?"

“It doesn’t. Just think it’s funny how you’re so naive to believe he doesn’t want more.”

“He doesn’t.” 

“Do you?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t. I just think it’s also a little funny that you might want me out just so you can fuck that guy in your bedroom,” he nodded his head in the direction of your room. 

Oh. He was taking it there. Okay.

“Yeah? And if I wanted to?” You jutted your chin out the slightest bit, bringing your arms closer, to press against your chest. “How is it any of your damn business?” 

He stepped once towards you, eyeing your chest, the tops of your breasts revealed, pushed up to the top of your tank. Your skin flushed, heart racing. 

His voice lowered. “It became my business the night you spread your legs for me at Baby’s,” one more step towards you, his eyes locking with yours. Fuck. “When I had you moaning my name while my mouth played between your pretty legs,” another step. “I think you gave yourself away that night. I don’t buy this little act.”

Oh. 

Fuck. . . If your heart wasn’t racing. 

You blinked, shaking your head. You tried to stand firm. “Wh-what act?” Dammit. Why were you stuttering? 

Stand your ground, y/n, you thought, motivating yourself to stay strong. 

But as he took one more step in, your body was effectively once again trapped between his body and a sink. Thankfully, he hadn’t pressed himself up to your front, so you weren’t distracted by that. 

You tried to hold your own.

But shit. . .he was so close. Your skin flared with heat, your heart still beating erratically in your chest. 

As you were making direct eye contact with the chest of his white t-shirt, you craned your neck to see his face fully.

“What act, Jacob?” 

He shook his head. A little smirk played at his mouth. He brought his hand up to hold your cheek. Your skin was on fire for him and his touch.

You couldn’t help it when you leaned into his hand, letting your cheek press into his calloused flesh. 

He licked his lips. “You tell me,” he whispered lowly, nodding his head once at you. 

And you couldn’t help it, his deep brown eyes pulled you in. He was begging to be touched. You had to feel him. 

Leaning in, you held his cheek just as he held yours. He then took the chance, and captured your lips with his.

Ah. His lips. So soft. 

Your vision was hazy, eyes still open, you saw how his eyebrows dipped in with a moan. You matched the sound, closing your eyes, and slipped your tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his. 

You heard him shut the door with the hand that wasn’t holding your face. 

He then moved that hand from your face, reaching both hands under your ass, giving it a firm squeeze before he lifted you the short distance to sit on the bathroom countertop. 

You bit his bottom lip, getting another small moan from him. He did the same to you and then soothed the spot with his tongue. You sighed into his mouth. 

Reaching both hands up, you sunk them into his dark, brunette locks. He matched every movement of your lips with his own, and then licked one wet stripe on the roof of your mouth. 

You were able to gasp for air when he moved his mouth from yours to give the softest, small kisses to your neck. Though it didn’t last long before he turned his pecks into wet, open-mouthed kisses. The slightest stubble of hair on his lip skimmed against your sensitive skin. He worked from under your jaw, all the way up, to the tender spot behind your ear. 

Shivering with a sigh, you gripped his hair tighter, pulling him in as close as he could be to you, on the counter. You felt his hardening length against your center when you did so, making you immediately grind into him. 

And when he did the same to the other side of your neck, this time, he nipped at the skin behind your ear. You bucked your hips into his. He released a groan that echoed through the small bathroom, making you want to melt into it. 

“More,” you breathed, clutching him closer, making sure the front of you stayed connected to him. Feeling his hard length through the material of his jeans was almost too much, but you craved it. You needed it. 

More.

But, the next moment, you heard a little cough from your bedroom, right next door. 

It snapped you from your daze. You were suddenly hyper aware that it was not just you two in the apartment. You had to stop.

You pushed him back, jumping off the counter. When you looked in the mirror to check your face and neck, your lips were swollen and your cheeks were flushed. Your neck was still pink from where he’d been. You checked where he’d bit behind your ear, and seeing the redness back there made you want to hop right back onto that counter. Let him have his way with you— right there. Theo be fucking damned.

But you knew better.

Tucking some hair behind your ear, you tried to make yourself look slightly presentable. 

From behind you, he was brushing a hand through his hair, when he went to smooth a hand over his cheeks, his jaw stretching with the motion. He was contemplative.

His eyebrows drew together, curious. You couldn’t tell if he was upset. He mostly looked . . .confused. 

He removed his hand from his face when his eyes found yours in the mirror, open and wondering. He looked desperate to understand. 

“What do you want, y/n?” 

You didn’t know what in the hell to tell him. 

You wanted Jake. And you wanted him bad. But somehow saying it out loud seemed too difficult at the moment. 

And how could you say that to him when he’d so recently, blatantly told you that you were a mistake?

“I don’t know, Jake,” you whispered back, still looking at your blushing cheeks, messy hair, and freshly kissed lips. You’d need a minute to let your skin return to its normal shade before going back to your room. 

You turned to face him.

When you saw him, looking so beautiful, so lost. . . You thought of how lost you’d felt for the past couple weeks. His words were once again flashing back through your head. 

“It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone.”

It still hurt as you could see him so clearly in the doorway of his bedroom, angry and insistent that you do what he said and leave him alone.

But tonight? Crowding you in here to make out on the bathroom counter? Did he truly want that? For you to leave him alone?

“What do you want?” You leveled him with a stare, your tone sharp, but keeping your voice low since Theo was one room over. You pointed a finger in his chest. “You say you want me to leave you alone, but then you trap me in here like this?”

He shook his head, a dimple showing again with a sarcastic grin. After tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, he put the same hand in his pocket. 

“Oh, there is no way you are going to turn this around on me,” he matched your quiet tone, understanding. “And trap you? Okay, Little Miss ‘Fuck Me, Jake,’” he used air quotes to remind you of your words from the night at Baby’s. 

Fuck. 

Of course he remembered you’d said that. Why wouldn’t he? 

You decided to ignore it, focusing back on him.

“You’re the one who said it was a mistake! That I needed to leave you alone,” you protested, anger flaring in your chest.

He covered his eyes with a hand, the veins in the hand catching your eye. You’d never noticed how masculine his hands were. And damn if he didn’t know how to use them . . . Even in this moment, debating with him, you wanted them touching every part of you. You wanted his skilled fingers, flexing inside of you.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” His eyes were sad when he moved his hand, when you saw the brown irises again. But there was a fire behind them still. “Dammit, y/n. Why do you insist on assuming the worst about me all the fucking time? I’m not the one who can’t make up my mind about what I want,” he leaned back against the wall behind him, crossing his arms. “One minute you’re kissing me. You’re with me, naked and ready as I’m pressing into you,” his voice was being raspy, along with the picture he was drawing. . . It made your cheeks pink. You could still feel what he felt like, pressing against you, throbbing. . .so close to being inside of you. He went on, “And the next moment you’re shoving me away from you, making sure to tell me that Josh doesn’t need to know what we’re doing.”

Of course some of this had to do with Josh. You’d had the smallest inkling, based on how weird he’d acted when you set the rules. 

Stupid.

“I knew you were making it all weird with Josh. . . is this all about Josh?! You know that he and I—.”

“No! It’s about you and how you make it impossible for us to—.”

“You told me to go away!”

“And you told me to stop,” he said back, his smoky voice still hushed. “More than once.”

Your chest heaved, knowing he was right, but you were so lost on how to explain it all. “There were reasons every time.” 

“Reasons,” he scoffed. “So are you going to keep having these reasons? Keep stopping it? Why do you keep letting it happen if all you’re going to do is make us stop?” 

“Last time you stopped us, Jake!” You defended, focusing on keeping your voice low. “Not me. You walked away and called it a mistake.”

He covered his face with both hands, growling. You shushed him. 

He took his hands away to show his jaw set, clenching with frustration. “You were drunk, y/n!” He begged you to understand, “I wasn’t going to do anything with you without you being in full and total control of yourself.”

You were sure your expression showed it all clicking. You blinked at him. It all made so much sense now. 

And what he’d done? His true intentions? Fuck. Sexy as hell.

Maybe you really did need to stop assuming the worst. You just couldn’t help it. It was a trauma response. Jumping to conclusions, thinking that people didn’t want you. . .

Your mom didn’t want you, so you were always convinced other people wouldn’t either. 

Especially men who were as beautiful and mesmerizing as Jake Kiszka.

Damn. Now it really was all on you. How did you even begin to lay it all out? 

You looked him dead in the face, completely unsure of how to articulate the mess in your head. 

“I don’t know,” you covered your face with both hands, mimicking him and frustratedly groaning into your palms. When you removed them from your face, you tucked them into your front pockets. You decided to assure him of one thing. For whatever reason, you wanted—needed him to know this. “I do want you. I want what we almost had in the bathroom at Baby’s,” You stepped towards him, wanting to be close to him again. You placed a delicate hand on his chest. He looked down at you, as you looked up into his eyes, reaching to hold your hand on his chest. Your skin tingled at his touch. “I need to feel you, to be with you. . . it just never seems like the right time. There’s always something.”

You didn’t know why you’d suddenly felt the urge to be vulnerable with him. He kept your hand on his chest, holding you, his eyes meeting yours in understanding. 

And you knew then that it was just him. Jake Kiszka, in and of himself, made you feel this strange sense of safety, comfortability. 

And it was different from the kind his twin had offered you as your friend for so many years. 

With Jake, you weren’t just friends. You weren’t even really friends. . .it was something else—an intense, unavoidable attraction. The safe feeling came combined with this desire to be with him. 

He felt like a resting ground. 

It was weird.

But you liked it.

He smoothed a thumb over your hand on his chest. You held his deep gaze, getting lost in it. 

And out of nowhere, he leaned down, kissing your lips with his. Just for a moment. 

You felt it all the way down to your toes. The feeling of him so close, with one simple kiss from his soft lips, it felt perfectly intimate. 

He released his hold on your hand, wrapping his hand around your waist instead, eyes connected with yours. It was as though he just wanted to touch you, have his hands on you.

It was what you wanted, too. Just the feeling of his hand, as it moved down to just over your hip, his thumb on the skin underneath the hem of your gray tank top. . .it felt right. 

He penetrated the thickness in the air with his low, gravelly tone. His eyes were vulnerable as he asked, “Do you want that? To find the right time?” 

You reached a hand up, holding his handsome face. You smoothed a thumb over his skin, tracing a freckle on his cheek. “I do. I promise I do,” you blinked up at him, needing his answer to that question. “And do you? Wanna find the right time?”

This was so much, butterflies flew rampant in your tummy. 

The grin he gave you was loose, his eyes relieved and open. “I really do.”

It felt so amazing to hear it straight from his lips. He really wanted it too. 

You’d overthink all of this later.

He leaned down to kiss you again. You reciprocated, for just a moment, letting your lips move with his. 

Then you pulled back, your hand falling from his face.

You nodded at the door. “I gotta get back to studying.”

His hand that was holding your hip squeezed slightly, your skin heating at it. You caught his eye, the intense feeling setting in your beating heart. 

“Is that all you’re doing?” His eyes were dark and questioning, making your head spin. “Studying?”

You winked at him, still holding onto your teasing from earlier. “It’s whatever I want it to be.”

His eyes seemed to darken more, pulling you in so your chest touched his. So warm. “I really don’t want to hear another guy fucking you through these walls.”

You pressed closer to him, your body thrumming with fire. “Funny coming from the guy who told me I could just wear earplugs when he brought women over,” then you pulled back, his hand fell. His eyebrow lifted, a tiny smirk lifted his lips. You continued, “Why don’t you go ahead and get a pair of your own, hm?”

You patted his cheek, reluctantly parting from him. Before leaving the bathroom, you chanced one more glance at your appearance. Not quite as flushed as before, though your cheeks were still blushing. You’d find a way to pass it off. Whatever. You’d been gone too long. 

You were about to open the bathroom door when, from behind, his voice stopped you. You felt a spark as his hand delicately touched yours.

“Hey.”

You swiveled on your heel, raised your brows in question. “Yeah?”

“Do you think you could come to our gig this weekend? It’s a bigger one.”

Did you work this weekend? You couldn’t remember. 

All you knew was that, suddenly, you really wanted to be at their show. 

“I’m not sure . . . Depends on work.”

“I would love—,” he put a fist in front of his mouth and cleared his throat. “The guys and I would love it if you could be there,” he shook his head, seeming to come to terms with an inner battle. “For me, I would just love to look out and see your beautiful face in the crowd.”

Your mind was fuzzy. All of this felt so unreal, yet so real all at once. He really wanted you there? And had he just called you beautiful? 

“I’ll try my best,” you slapped on a small grin, trying to play hard to get, masking your inner shock. You wanted to keep him on his toes, like he’d kept you for the past weeks. 

He scrunched his brows in and messed with his bottom lip. “Yeah,” he nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah, totally get it. Just text me and let me know.”

Anytime he messed with his mouth, it was a distraction. You had to keep yourself from watching too close. It really didn’t help that you knew the feeling of those full, pink lips. . . 

And as you walked the short distance to your bedroom, you realized something else.

Had he just asked you to text him? 

What was all of this? This new territory you had just discovered?

-🌼🌼🌼-

And a couple nights later, when you were sitting on the couch watching New Girl, Jake came to sit at his end of the couch. 

Once you’d finished the episode he’d sat down to watch with you, he cleared his throat, making you look over at him. 

He was already looking at you. It made your stomach flurry. You decided to look back at the TV, nervous under his gaze. 

He spoke, keeping your ear in his direction, you paused the show. “We should start the series over. You know, start at the beginning together.” 

You smirked, feeling a rush of giddy happiness and excitement buzz through you.

“Yeah, sure,” you coolly respond, starting the show from scratch.

And as Jess began the first episode, you peeked quickly over at him, a content smile resting on his lips as he lounged at his end of the sofa.

-🌼🌼🌼-

And for the next few nights, Jake kept coming back. He would sit on the couch with you, simply to watch your show. 

Just to share that quiet time at the end of each day with you.

Whenever he would come to sit down, your nerves would translate to a dizziness of butterflies in your stomach. 

Though, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to laugh with him, share popcorn or pizza, look at each other when a character would say something particularly hilarious. . .

But neither of you ever moved to kiss the other. You know . . . make it anything more than two people watching a TV show.

It almost seemed like an unspoken rule that you were not doing that again . . .

. . .yet. 

Both of you, seeming to wait for the right time.

But you sure liked those quiet nights.

These nights with him made your house feel like a home. . . comfortable and safe. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

On Friday night, you got off work a little early.

It was the night before the guys’ show, so Jake obviously wasn’t home due to a last minute rehearsal and details. You'd seen as much on the rehearsal schedule on the fridge.

You took your time showering, shaving, exfoliating, pampering yourself fully, with the apartment to yourself. . .

Once finished, you realized you really wanted to watch New Girl. Even though Jake wasn’t home, you were in the middle of one of your favorite parts of the show. You had to watch the next couple of episodes. 

You’d just rewind to watch again when he was home next. 

You couldn’t help it. The two of you had been binging and you'd come to your favorite part in the whole show. It was arguably the best part—what the audience waits for from practically the first episode. 

Jess and Nick were finally about to bite the bullet, get their shit together and get together. 

And as you sat with a couple slices of warmed up cheese pizza from the night before, cuddled up with Stevie purring against your blanket covered thighs. . .something clicked. 

As they looked at each other throughout the whole episode of “Cooler,” you were angry with them. So angry that they were so close to finally being together, yet so far. . .

“Not like this!” Nick said to Jess, stopping her from kissing him. He suddenly sounded and looked very much like you had felt recently.

He looked desperate to make it the best it could be, get Jess to understand that it had to be just right. They’d waited long enough, and he wanted it to feel like it deserved to. 

You couldn’t stop it when it pulled you right back to your real life. Your current situation. 

And if you were upset with Nick and Jess for piddling around and not just acting on their feelings, not letting loose when it was so obvious they needed to . . . Then why the hell were you dragging it out so damn long with Jake? 

You felt like the two of you were essentially Nick and Jess. You were roommates, with so much building between you—everything and nothing to lose all at once. 

You wanted to act on it. You wanted it all. It was time. 

No, it was past time. 

And as Nick and Jess finally kissed, you decided.

The gig was tomorrow. You were off work early enough to go. . .

You were going to the show, and you weren’t going to stop anything that may happen afterwards this time.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As you left for work the next morning, you noticed a piece of paper sitting on the dining room table with your name on it, along with a sticky attached to it with an address and a little scribbled note underneath. 

Just in case 

-J

Your tummy fluttered. 

You’d been running late, so you hadn’t had time to look at it, tucking it into your bag to look at later.

-🌼🌼🌼-

In the quietness of the record store, you opened it up to find the setlist.

Grinning, you checked it over. Every song on the list were ones you knew. Save for one near the bottom. 

Edge of Darkness.

Suddenly curious about the song, you wondered. . . Was this song the reason he wanted you there?

-🌼🌼🌼-

Due to stupid-ass New York traffic and thinking you’d let Stevie run out of the apartment, only to find her hidden behind clothes in your closet, you were running roughly forty-five minutes late for their gig.

You’d texted Jake to let him know you were running late, but hadn’t received a text back. Momentarily, you’d been afraid of him being upset with you for being late, your stomach falling when he hadn’t responded for the thirty-ish minute drive to the venue after you’d sent it. 

Then, you realized he was on stage performing, so of course he wouldn’t respond. 

Whenever you’d sent the text, your hands had been extremely shaky, checking your text a million times for grammatical errors, even after you’d sent it. It was seriously like a ridiculous high school crush. 

Dumb.

You still believed that if you just fucked him and got it out of your system, some of those juvenile feelings would come to pass. 

As an adult woman, you didn’t need to care so deeply for how a man might respond to you. There was no use for that, and you thought yourself ludicrous for it.

Though, you really did feel terrible as traffic took so long, delaying your arrival to the venue. Your normal road rage came out a few times, honking your horn and cursing as people would drive several miles below the speed limit in front of you. 

You just wanted to get there.

-🌼🌼🌼-

When you did get there, the guys were playing their hearts out as you had to squeeze through a mass of sweaty, singing bodies, alcohol sloshing whenever you’d pass through. 

The establishment had two levels, so you decided to climb some stairs to watch from a higher level, hoping for less of a crowd from that vantage point. 

And when you’d made it up there, you realized it was still crowded. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as below. You found a semi-clear space to claim, a thankfully nice view of all of the guys.

The first thing you noticed when you looked at Josh was his hair. He’d told you recently that he was trying to grow it out on the sides, going for a full head of curling hair. You hadn’t seen him recently enough to see the progress, though, and it looked great on him. 

“All right!” Josh had screamed into the mic, hyping up the packed house, receiving screams from everyone watching. Jake strummed a little note which made you immediately hone in on him, but he seemed irritated, strumming a few more times, shaking his head.

Josh glanced over at his twin, sensing the issue, and he smiled back at the crowd. “How we feeling?!” He raised his hands, eliciting more screams as Jake continued strumming, finally gaining some help from someone in their little backstage crew. The curly headed twin gave Jake another look, but Jake’s back was turned as he worked with the crew member to get the problem figured out. 

Josh walked over to his twin, checking out the problem for himself. They were having the smallest conversation before Jake shook his head at Josh, and then the crew member. He turned around, effectively giving up on the issue. He played another chord, checking, but his brows were still drawn in with irritation.

What was going on? Was he okay? You suddenly had an incredibly impulsive urge to go check on him. But you stood your ground as he felt out a few more notes, shrugging shortly and giving a curt nod to Josh as a go ahead. 

Josh once again smiled so wide it looked like it hurt. You could tell he was trying his hardest to alleviate any sort of tension for the crowd. Fortunately, the crowd seemed oblivious, playing into it as a sort of bit, it seemed.

You took a few seconds to send a text to your sweet, empathetic friend to let him know you were there and that you wanted to get a drink after the show.

You hated seeing him stressed- especially on stage. You were feeling it with him and with Jake.

“How about a new one?” He asked, receiving a plethora of yells and screams. You smiled with the crowd. “This next one is called Edge of Darkness. . .and it’s about. . .the edge of darkness.”

You giggled at him. He was a great frontman. The people were soaking it all up, laughing with him, and screaming for more. 

But you had to check back in on Jake. He seemed to be doing better, still upset, but he smiled tightly to a few screaming girls in front. 

He started playing, his face saying that something was not blending together like you knew he wanted it to. But you couldn’t tell the difference, so you knew the crowd couldn’t, either. 

It didn’t stop him from turning to check the amp a couple more times before suddenly, he was ripping through the most erotic guitar solo you’d ever heard him play live.

Fuck. The song was called the ‘Edge of Darkness’, and it was ironic because you felt like you were on the edge of some kind of dark shit. Watching him manipulate those strings with such precision and intent, his hips fucking (yes, fucking) into his guitar. It was unlike anything else he’d ever done with that guitar. . .you were absolutely sure of it.

You were sweating. And you knew it wasn’t from proximity to any people around you. No, it was from watching him go to this secret place that you wanted to join. 

His facial expressions were driving you insane. All you could imagine was seeing those faces above you as your body replaced the guitar. Bent over, with him fucking into you with the same vigor he was giving his instrument.

Then he threw it behind his fucking head. It got you every. time. He made it look so effortless— so easy for him to balance it there (though you knew it wasn’t), while he still played all of the intricate chords. He was a natural—a true rockstar. 

You wondered what else he was a natural at. 

You were squirming underneath your skin, your palms were clammy and when you moved a bit, you noticed your thong was uncomfortably damp between your legs. And your jeans made it impossible to move to fix the issue. 

These solos of his. . .fuck. They were the sole cause for your sexual frustration after these shows. Why you’d had to replace vibrators in the past month. 

But tonight? Tonight, you wouldn’t need the help of your hand or a tool. No, tonight, you planned on going home with him— to take care of it with his help.

-🌼🌼🌼-

But as you waited out in the bar area after the show, after sending Jake a text on how well he did, you were met with radio silence on his end. 

It sat there, glaring at you in the blue bubble. 

You, 10:43 p.m.: You fuckin killed it. So glad I came.

It had now been several minutes since the show had ended and since you’d sent the message, and looking at the time on your phone, you realized it had now been closer to an hour. 

What was taking them so long? Their crew packed their shit up now . . . so where were they?

You weren’t able to wonder too much longer, hearing Josh’s voice come up right behind you. 

But he didn’t have his usual bounce. He sounded super pissed.

“Your roommate’s a dick,” he sat in the seat at the bar next to you. He ran two hands through his growing hair and then put both of his hands over his face. He sat there like that until the bartender came up, removing them when they asked what he wanted. “Strongest thing you have.”

“Josh?” You tentatively reached a hand out to touch his bare shoulder. He’d worn his little brown vest he loved so much, sans a shirt underneath. “You okay?”

When he looked at you, he looked sorry for how he’d been acting. And he said as much. 

“I’m sorry, y/n. Jake just—,” he put his face into his crossed arms on the bar to growl, then he faced you again. “He’s been in a piss mood all fucking night, and when he’s mad, I feel it all the way down to my bones. I also just get really fed up with his little attitude he gets when something goes wrong. It’s annoying as hell and I get tired of it.”

You could relate—you also hated Jake’s pissant attitude when he was upset over something. Though, in this circumstance, you felt inclined to be the devil’s advocate.

“Josh. . .you also get upset when things go wrong. You’re the biggest perfectionist I know.”

“Apparently you don’t know Jake, then. And you’re one to talk!” He spat. Then he groaned again, his eyes sympathetic when he looked at you. “I’m sorry. I know. I agree with you. I’m sorry. He just. . . seemed off all night and it already bothers me when he’s upset over something and he wasn’t telling me everyth— my twin intuition always knows when he isn’t telling me everything. And tonight he sure as hell had something else on his mind that he refused to give any weight to,” the bartender came up with a shot of something. Josh threw it back, and shook his head, coughing just a bit. His eyes bulged the slightest bit.

You couldn’t help your little laugh at him. He needed that. Take the fucking edge off. “Strong like you wanted?”

He gave you a grin, his eyes easier than they were before. You relaxed, realizing you were absolutely feeling that tension with him. You felt especially better when he waved the server back over to ask for a salty dog. That’s more like it.

“Anyway,” he started, swiveling his body to be facing towards you, one arm on the bar. “Sam and Daniel didn’t even have to be subjected to it. They left to meet up with a couple of their other friends before he exploded on me. Just me! And they don’t get those same inklings from him that I do. Being a twin is both a blessing and a curse. I swear we fuckin’ share a brain sometimes.”

His movements, facing you like this on his barstool, made you think of when Jake had sat next to you like this—the night he’d kept you close, taken you home, and then cut things short. Everything you’d felt that night coming back tenfold. 

 . . . Where was he? It didn’t matter where he was. Really. But you were curious. 

“Where is Jake?” You tried to play it cool, because that’s what you were. Cool. It was nothing. You went ahead and softened the question by complimenting his growing hair. “And I like your hair.”

“Thanks. Biotin vitamins, I swear to God,” he patted the sides of his ‘do, giving you a cheeky smirk. “And Jake—. Thank you,” he said to the bartender, giving her a quick wink as she sat his drink on his coaster. “He went back to your place. Didn’t wanna stay around for a good time. He was not in the mood.”

Your heart sank.

What? He’d gone home?

But he'd asked you to come tonight? Had he gotten your texts? Surely he had. There was no reason he wouldn’t’ve. All of a sudden, you felt extremely stupid for sending them. . .for thinking anymore of tonight than you should have. For worrying about him from the balcony. When he didn’t even care to stay to see you. 

He was the most unpredictable asshole and you were foolish to think, for even a split second, that he wasn’t. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Luckily, Josh was ready to end the night fairly early. 

You were glad because you weren’t in the mood to entertain after having your feelings hurt (stupidly) by Jake leaving and not telling you. It was the smallest thing to be upset over, you knew. Your heart had gotten ahead of you, and into something ridiculous. 

On your drive home, you kept telling yourself that you were done with all Jake related thoughts. You shouldn’t give two shits about the man. Really. He’d been a jerk from day one. And even though he’d had a few instances of being someone so wonderful. . . he kept doing things that just reminded you that maybe he was just incapable of being consistent.

You were worried about what you’d go home to. Afraid of hearing him and a girl from his bedroom, seeing them on your couch. . . You were tired of not being able to keep up with him. It was exhausting. 

And as much as you told yourself he didn’t matter, you knew you were lying to yourself. You’d made him matter the past couple months—let him matter. Too many times you’d let him get to you. And as much as you wanted to regret it, you couldn’t fully let yourself do that yet. 

The stubborn, stupid part of you wanting to give him a chance. Wondering what had happened tonight that got him so upset. 

You cared. . .even though you really wished you didn’t. 

So as you traipsed through your front door, you were relieved when all of the lights were turned off, and there was no sight or sound of a woman. Only Stevie, who came up to purr against your calves. Feeling bad for your hungry kitty, you quickly went to drop your purse to the table so you could feed her.  

But when you looked in her dish, there was already fresh kibble in the bowl. You hadn’t fed her before you’d left. . . 

Had Jake . . .? Obviously. Your heart perked at the gesture.

Then, the sound of a guitar being strummed from his bedroom stopped your thoughts. Stevie went to eat, and you left her to do so as you walked towards the sound. 

You weren’t choosing your path. . . your feet were simply leading you, your mind hardly keeping up with what you were going to do once you got to his room. 

Just felt a want to see him. Talk to him. 

Why?

You’d worry about that later. Didn’t want to think about that for the time being.

Once you got to his door, you noticed it wasn't fully closed. You didn’t think as you pushed it open. 

And then, there you were. And there he was, facing the door, his concert attire still fully on. He looked up at you from his spot, stopping the strumming abruptly. 

But his eyes weren’t kind. He wasn’t happy. He was still feeling the anger Josh had been talking about. 

Not giving two shits how he’d react, you didn’t hold back. You were still pissed, too. At him. 

“It’s not fucking kind to invite someone to something and then leave them there without a damn hello or goodbye.”

He blinked, his lip curling to show a sarcastic smile. “You’re gonna pull that shit?”

You stepped further into his room, coming close enough to him that your knees were almost touching his, where he sat at the edge of his bed, his hand clutching the acoustic with a tight grip. Too tight. 

“What the fuck, Jake? Of course I’m going to ‘pull that shit.’ It was a fuckin’ prick move and I didn’t appreciate it.”

“It’s a prick move to keep someone waiting for a response about whether or not you’ll be somewhere when I can see damn well your schedule on that fridge, saying all week that you didn’t work tonight,” he got up to place his guitar on the stand next to his bed. He kept careful to not touch you as he moved. Wow. He placed it delicately, in stark contrast to his sharp movements. He spun on his heel to face you. “Why don’t you care, y/n? You don’t have to fucking come if you don’t care. I’d rather you stay home if you don’t want to be there when I invite you.” 

“What made you think I don’t care?!”

“You kept me hanging! All week,” he angrily brushed a hand through his hair, growling with the motion when a ring got stuck in the locks. “Fuck!” He started pulling down his bed covers, not looking at you as he argued. “You don’t do that when it’s my brother. He wants you there, you’re fuckin’ there. With me, when I ask you, you’re always late and you barely even tell me you’re coming. It’s obvious who you’re really going to see and I’m tired of you acting like you care about me when you really only care about Josh.”

“What?! First of all, you knew I worked the night of your first show. I didn’t want to. . .I got fucking called in— so don’t you dare hold that against me!” You came closer to him, hitting his arm to make him stop the unmaking of his bed. “Quit doing that and fucking listen to me!”

He went rigid, throwing the covers dramatically, stopping like you asked. He stood stiff as a board with his arms crossed at his chest. He motioned a hand for you to continue, almost mocking. “Go on. Enlighten me.”

You shoved his chest. “Stop it!” You crossed your own arms, your heart beating so hard in your chest. “Stop with the Josh shit. Anytime either of you ask, I’m there. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner about tonight. I’ve just been—I don’t know,” you’d been thinking about him. How badly you wanted to do him after the show tonight. “Distracted?”

“School?” He questioned, seeming genuinely concerned.

You shook your head, not wanting to lie. “No. Not school. I don’t know how to explain—,” you looked into his eyes. They were hardening again. “I don’t know. Just distracted.” 

He shook his head. He was in the dark. There was no way he’d know the full truth unless you told him. But you weren’t sure how to articulate it. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his jaw set. “Thank you, y/n. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Jake— seriously. Please sto—.”

“I just—dammit!” He combed a hand through his hair and got the same ring stuck. Having enough, he took the one piece of offensive jewelry off, and placed it delicately on his desk behind him. He locked eyes with you again. “The other night in the bathroom, you—I could have sworn you—but you—you told me— I just can’t keep up!”

“I can’t keep up with you!” You yelled back, momentarily worrying about neighbors. It was very late.

You were at a loss. 

You surveyed him, his chest was heaving like yours. Walking a few steps forward, your chest was almost touching his— you softly grabbed at the front of his light red T-shirt, eager for him to hear. His breathing seemed to slow at you being so close. Your eyes held each other, his were questioning.

It was now or never. The frantic beating of your heart, sounding in your ears. You were shaking. You were tired of him thinking he knew best. 

What you were most tired of was tiptoeing around—the barely missing each other. 

“I’m only asking one more time. What do you want?” He begged, reminding you of Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.

You would have giggled at the similarity if you weren’t feeling the seriousness of this moment. 

There was so much to say, but only one thing left to say, all at once. . .

You stood there, sharing breaths, for a few still seconds. Could have been minutes. You were lost in the beautiful gaze of his deep, dark eyes.

Your heart slowed, your breath catching in your throat while your stomach dropped to your knees.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said lowly, grabbing at his shirt with a sturdier hand. You weren’t scared—only sure. So fucking sure. And beyond ready. 

His jaw went slack. It almost looked like he wanted to say something to challenge you, but he bit his lip. Instead, he grabbed softly at your jaw, curving his hand up to cradle your head, softly under your flowing hair. 

“Well I can fucking do that.” Was all he said as he dove in, securing your lips with his. 

He sucked on your bottom lip and penetrated your mouth with his smooth tongue. He tasted like minty gum and cigarettes. Usually, you found it repulsive to kiss someone with the taste of nicotine in their mouth, but with Jake . . . It was suddenly everything you’d ever wanted in a kiss. 

You lost yourself in the moment. In him. There was nothing stopping you now. 

Continuing to kiss you, he turned you both, until the backs of your legs softly hit the edge of his bed. Taking that as your cue, you went to sit down on the sheets. You unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, his delicious hips right at eye level with you now. He took initiative and pushed them the rest of the way down, stepping out of them.

Then all you could see in front of you was him, bursting at the seams in his pink, AE briefs. Fuck, he was so cute and sexy all at once. You didn’t know how he did it. 

Your mouth watered as you went to pull down his briefs. But he put a hand on yours to stop you, the cold metal of his rings a contrast to your heated skin.

You looked up, your eyebrows dipping in question. 

“Not yet,” he corrected. Then he took his shirt off, exposing his beautifully soft, tanned, and perfectly toned chest. A long necklace laid against his stomach, and you used it to pull him down to you. 

You laid back, his legs coming to rest in between yours as he crawled onto the bed to follow you. He unwrapped the necklace from his neck, putting it on his small bedside table. Using the time he was preoccupied, you pushed his underwear down his thighs, watching his face to see his reaction. 

He teasingly rolled his eyes at you. 

“Damn, woman,” he chuckled under his breath, showing his perfectly straight teeth. Beautiful man. He finished the job, kicking them off. “One track mind or what?”

Rolling your eyes back at him, you gave a quiet grin and clicked your tongue. “Whatever, Kiszka.”

But he wasn’t wrong. You wanted to see him. Fully.

And you were glad you got your way, because fuck. 

He was stunning. Even more so when you could fully see it, without the dimness of the bathroom lights at Baby's. How could a cock be so pretty?

You reached out to touch him. He shivered at the feeling of your cool skin on his heated, swollen flesh. So soft, smooth. . .thick.

Shit.

His precum was already leaking from his pretty pink tip. 

Your mouth was watering. Your need to have your hands on him clouded your every thought. 

But before you could do anything more than run your fingers over him, he was moving his body to be on top of yours, your hands falling from him. You edged up the bed, him following after you. His eyes were hungry, and his hands were purposeful and strong as he quickly unfastened your jeans, pulling them off in one smooth motion. 

Your pussy throbbed at how close it was to happening. How close you were to finally feeling him. Fulfilling the need you’d discovered too long ago. 

Taking off your cropped t-shirt as he stripped you of your panties, you hissed as your wet mound met the air of his room. You made quick work of your bra. 

He sat above you, gently cupping your bare pussy, while watching your naked chest rise and fall as you took several deep breaths, waiting. You ground into the palm of his hand, needing the friction. He then moved his hands, grazing them up your thighs, hips, waist, and finally let them settle on the outer curve of your breasts. 

Your skin grew goosebumps, your nipples hardening to peaks in the cool air of his bedroom. He seemed mesmerized. His mouth was slightly opened, his eyes studying your chest with every breath you took. 

“Jake?” You whispered, breaking his stare at your breasts and making him look into your eyes. 

“Sorry,” he blinked a few times, shaking his head with a little grin, balancing his hands on either side of your head. He leaned down to give your lips a sweet kiss. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen all of you . . .,” He leaned on a forearm, and reached to your chest again, holding one breast in his hand, massaging it as his thumb skated over the nipple. “Beautiful,” he praised, looking you right in the eye. Oh, Jake.

Then, his mouth attached to the opposite breast, his lips sucked gently, his tongue flicking out to lick the nipple. 

You felt it everywhere, your toes curling at his touch. And with a sigh, you leaned into his mouth, needing more. Needing all he could give. 

“Fuck, Jake,” you whined. “Your mouth feels so good.”

And then he switched breasts, making sure to give each the same treatment. . . Holy sweet hell. You were done for. 

Your body shook, feeling your nerve endings spasm. No one else had ever stimulated you this much, this way. You didn’t know you could feel so much from a man only lapping at your chest. He was magic. 

“Jake,” you keened, your chest pushing further into his mouth. Your hips thrusting up to meet his. Fuck. With both of you having your pants off, he almost entered you at the motion. And damn the temptation was too much. “Shiiiit.”

He continued to worship your chest, and when you met his hips again, he bucked into yours, deliciously rough, matching a thrust. You felt him, hard, and fitting right between your wet folds, so close to being inside you. 

You saw stars, closing your eyes. 

Fuck.

You heard the softest groan against your breast. You looked down at him, lavishing at your supple skin. One thick brow was raised, but then he pulled them in, in concentration, as he rocked into you again. Shit. 

You couldn’t help the cry that escaped you. Or the words that followed. 

“Please, Jake. Please,” you didn’t know what you were asking for. Just needed more of him. You pushed your hands into his hair, growing confidence from your position. You pushed his face further into you, and you felt him bite at your nipple. Your hips naturally came to meet his and with all of it—fuck—your moan was pornographic. “I need you,” you pushed up, grinding your hips into his. “Here,” you did it again for emphasis, your pussy aching for him.

He released the nipple he’d been sucking with a pop. There was a snicker at your chest, and you saw the dimple in his cheek when he smirked. But before he did anything else, he moved back up your body, your chests finally touching. He had a hand still holding snug to a breast. He squeezed it once, your clit thrummed at the motion and you once again pushed your front to his. 

He kissed the column of your neck softly, trailing kisses from there, all the way to the corner of your mouth. You moved to meet your lips with his, your hand still tangled in his wavy hair. 

You kissed lazily for a few minutes, just enjoying the taste of each other. Your pussy still occasionally grazing his impossibly hard front. You’d moan into each other’s mouths every time. . .absolutely euphoric.

When you came up for air, you let yourself get lost in the chocolate pools of his irises. He was so handsome. So pretty. You couldn’t help the hand that came to hold his cheek, the other one still combing through his hair. 

He gave the corner of your mouth one more peck before he rasped, moving to give the same kiss to the swell of each of your breasts. “Your tits . . .,” he blew out a breath against your skin, making the flesh erupt in goosebumps. You sighed. “Fuck, y/n. They’re perfect. So soft and full. . .” One more kiss to each, this time with tongue. “Fuckin’ perfect.”

Then his slick tongue was moving from your chest, down your stomach, and over your right thigh. He hitched both of your legs up, to be bent at the knee. Giving him better access to what you knew he was about to do. He gave your pussy the same long look he gave your breast, admiring what was in front of him. He licked his lips at the sight. 

Your heart was racing. 

And without warning, his tongue found you, flattening on your sensitive clit. It was so hard, with only the slightest direct contact from his tongue, you were bucking your hips into his face. He used two strong hands to grasp and hold your hips to the bed, making sure to soothe your position by making wide, smooth circles with his thumbs in the hidden flushed dips between your thighs and groin. 

He then dipped his tongue to curve into the growing wetness between your folds. You gasped as he lapped at your arousal, occasionally moaning into you as he would lick. He continued like that for long enough that you weren’t sure you could see straight. Your legs were weak from your position. It was almost as if he was enjoying this—simply getting to taste you, feel you against his mouth. 

And suddenly, you felt your body begin to tremble uncontrollably, your every sense becoming heightened. The feeling of him was all-consuming. You couldn’t deny it any longer, the growing sensation in the pit of your belly threatening to give way at any moment. And he knew it. The work of his mouth became more intense, more fervorous, more hungry. His plush lips working your throbbing cunt into a frenzy until you finally gave in. 

He hardly took his mouth off of you, only enough to speak his velvet soft voice against your soaked pussy, his breath hot against the wet skin. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Let me have it.”

Then it hit you, harder than it ever had. You suddenly realized that you’d been deprived your entire life of this feeling, no man had ever done that to you. Let alone with just his mouth. 

You came back to, arching into him as you felt his tongue make a perfect circle around the still-tight bud of your sensitive clit. You could hardly control your tremors as your body had felt the ultimate test of ecstasy. 

Then you heard a little whimper from Jake, and you looked down through hazy eyes to see his eyebrows were drawn deeper than you’d ever seen them. 

A movement caught your eyes further down. His hips were thrusting, and with each rut of them, he kept forcefully meeting the mattress. You felt his bed shake with each jerk of his hips. Your clit twitched at the sensation of the bed rocking and his mouth on you. You could only imagine what it would be like when he was inside you. You felt the vibration of a growl against your pussy.

“Jake. . .,” you moaned. He hummed against you, which you presumed was a response to you. You hitched your hips up to meet his mouth as he curled his tongue to fit in the small hole between your folds, which gained him an involuntary shake from your body and a whine from you. He then trailed his tongue all the way up from your hidden spot, to hit the sensitive underside of your clit. You groaned loudly at the way his tongue was intermittently flicking against and massaging your overly sensitive bundle of nerves. 

He whimpered again, and his brows creased so closely together. You felt another jolt beneath you as the bed shook with a rather forceful thrust from his hips. You knew he was either really enjoying himself or was getting tired and really wanted his own release. From past experience with men, you assumed the latter. 

“Jake,” you started scooting your body up the bed. You got flashbacks to nights cut too short when you said his name like that. You knew he did, too, as his mouth lifted from you and his dark eyes met your own.

“You said you wanted this,” he grunted in response, his forehead falling to lay on your thigh in defeat.

“I do, Ja—.”

He interrupted you when he dug his fingers into your hips harder, pulling you back down to meet his slick tongue. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the feeling of him lapping at you with the force he was exuding to seemingly keep you in your spot.  

You tugged at his hair harder, trying to signal him to stop. As much as you didn’t want him to stop, it wasn’t fair for you to have all of the attention. He needed his release.

He slowly, hesitantly stopped and looked up at you, and you saw his eyes soften the slightest bit at your face. You knew you probably looked concerned, as that was how you were feeling for him. 

“Are you okay?” He lifted his body from the spot he’d been laying in between your legs. He laid his body beside yours, and his swollen cock came to heavily sit on top of your leg. 

You could have drooled at the sight of it flush against your skin. Fuck.

“You need release, too, Jake,” you combed your fingers through his hair. He wrinkled his brows at that. You continued, “I’ve already finished once; you don’t have to give me any more attention.”

He leaned back a bit, seeming offended. “You don’t want me to keep going?”

You pulled him by his shoulders, back to where he’d been, and reassured. “No, I want you to keep going—Goddamn, babe. . .but I also want to make sure you are able to feel satisfied and taken care of,” you sat up, and moved down the bed, so you were looking right at his thickness. You got him to position himself to be where you just were, his back against the headboard. You stared up at him through your lashes as you spit onto his aching head, then grasped his dick in your hand, all in one fluid motion. 

His eyelids dropped, and his Amber-brown irises darkened. You gave him one slight squeeze and you saw the muscles in his thighs tighten and his head fall back slightly. But his gaze stayed on you. 

Giving him one more pump, you rolled your thumb over the head. He groaned, but you weren’t able to give him any more attention as he flipped your body to be under his again in one swift motion. 

You squinted at him from your new position, “Why can’t I—?”

“You act as if I wasn’t satisfied with what I was doing before,” he retorted, voice low and face right above yours. 

“You were obviously wanting more. You were—I wanted to help because you kept. . . thrusting into the mattress,” you blinked up into his sultry glare. “I could tell—.”

“I was fucking the mattress because I loved getting to tongue fuck the hell out of your perfect pussy,” he snapped. 

Your body tingled at his words. This man. 

But you didn’t want your desire to please him to be ignored. You reflected the glare that was still shading his features. “Why do you always have to get your way?” You argued.

He huffed, “My way?” He went down to bite the inner curve of your right breast. You moaned, feeling your nipples harden even more at the sensation. He continued his way down your body, “If I would have had my way this wouldn’t be—," You thrusted up into his stiff dick again. You smirked when he bit his lip, eyes closing to stave off your distraction. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, y/n,” his eyes bore into you, then he worked his way down to where he was, once again, settled between your legs. He gave you one lick up your folds. You whispered his name, shaking. So sensitive. So delicious. “Have I wanted your mouth on my dick for a long ass time? Fuck yes. But I’ve also wanted this again. Give me this. I want this.”

“Jake, you don’t have to say that just becau—.”

He closed his eyes and groaned. “Can you not fucking argue with me for once?” 

“Can you just fucking listen to me? I want to make sure you—.”

He forcefully entered you with one finger, his thumb reaching up to rub over your hard clit. You threw your head back, looking down at him with lust clouding your vision. You wanted to be angry with him for interrupting you, but dammit . . . you just couldn’t be. 

He pumped it in and out a few times before putting the finger in his mouth, closing his eyes and moaning. “You taste so fuckin’ delicious, baby.”

His usage of the pet name made your brain short circuit for a few seconds, but you got distracted from it because suddenly, his face was back, right above yours. His forearms caged you in, on either side of your head. His hair was draping around you like a curtain. It felt so familiar. . .so wonderful.

And now, you knew it was about to happen. 

You felt the head of his cock at your entrance, just as you had at Baby’s. 

But this time. . .this time it was different. So different. You couldn’t pinpoint how or why—it just was.

You looked down to where your bodies were so close to finally connecting. When you looked into his eyes, you noticed he was waiting for you. 

For some reason, you felt as though he’d been studying your face while you were looking away. He seemed so content to simply be watching you, waiting for you, until you found his eyes. 

When your eyes met his, you saw the smile that filled his amber-brown irises. It was a sweet moment that felt like it would forever be locked in time. You stayed there, him above  you. And somehow, you knew he was waiting for permission. So, you nodded your head. 

And without a second thought, his eyes still honing in on yours, he entered you. 

You could’ve sang, you were so relieved to feel him like this. Finally. 

“So fucking tight,” he grunted, letting his tip meet your most secret spot inside. Ohhh yeah. You wanted to fuckin’ purr.

It had been awhile . . . and Jake had noticed by your tightness. But as he rolled his hips the slightest bit, helping you adjust, hitting you right where you needed him, deep inside—there was no questioning that the man knew what the hell he was doing. 

Just like your thoughts earlier tonight. . .he was a natural. 

You continued to wince a little, since he was so thick. It took a second to stretch to his size, and he let you, moving around enough from inside to help you. But he felt so damn good, you didn’t want to stay like that for too long. You needed more. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, needing to feel closer to him. His hair tickled the back of your hand.

Though, when you’d looked back at his face, his eyes were stuck on you, seeming to be caught in a trance, a relaxed, loose grin fitting to his pink lips.

You moved your hips just a bit. He felt you move, and he seemed to come back, his eyes locking in on your lips. He gave into the urge, kissing you, letting his tongue explore your mouth briefly, you doing the same to his mouth.

Then, when you came up for air, breathing so hard, you shared this look. Such fondness behind the gaze. It was almost too much. But like all things with Jake, it felt right.

You played with the ends of his hair, where your arms were crossed at his back. Maybe you could stay like this forever. 

But then he moved out slowly, and pushed back into you, hard and to the hilt. You felt his balls hit the bottom of your ass and you almost crossed your eyes at the ecstasy of it all. 

He rocked into you like that a few more times, a little slower, moving steadily. 

Then he switched things up. 

He held your body up, his dick still firmly inside of you as he sat up on his knees, leaning back on his heels. He balanced your ass on his thighs and pushed a pillow up behind you, sitting you up, your back against the headboard. Your legs moved of their own accord to be on either side of his hips.  

The position had you completely open to him, as your legs were spread wide, his cock pulsing inside of you. He bit his lip, focusing. It was like he was admiring a piece of art, not able to take his eyes from it. Deep in thought. 

And all of a sudden, you felt extremely vulnerable. Every piece of you on full display, save for your backside which sat perfectly on his bare thighs. So, still. He had every piece of you open to him, around him, or on top of him.

You almost spoke, but he beat you to it. 

“You are so fucking beautiful, y/n. Dammit,” he said with awe laced beautifully in his raspy voice, hitched on his next words. “This is— you are . . .,” he shook his head, and was never able to come up with the words. Instead, he just continued to let his eyes graze over you.

You felt your entire body heat at his words, the intimacy of all this. You felt emotional hearing the words, being like this with him. It was the most open and vulnerable you’d felt with a man in a long time (maybe ever), and he was seeming to treasure it just as much as you. 

His hands held your waist as you tangled a hand in his hair, and looped one arm over his shoulders - both of your chests heaving, needy.

He then brought you forward, until your clit was positioned to rub right below his belly button. You gasped at the full change in position, his cock as deep as it could go. You used the new angle as leverage and went onto the pads of your feet, raising off of him briefly, and then you slowly sank back down onto his throbbing length.

The moan he let out was heavenly. It made you feel like you were on top of the world, the way his mouth hung open. You continued to rise, and sink back down. Long and slow motions that helped you both to feel all of each other. Once you got more confident, you started swiveling your hips as you started to bounce on top of him. 

After a few more swings of your hips, he used his hold on your waist and lifted you off of him. 

You unabashedly let out a small cry at the loss of him inside you, but you moved with him. You positioned yourself to be on all fours, ass facing him— going with his motions and assuming that’s what he wanted. 

The hiss you heard leave his mouth when you were in position, and the way he kneaded your plush ass cheeks with his calloused fingertips made you smirk with victory. You knew exactly what he wanted. 

“You like that?” You breathed at him, wiggling your round ass at him, grinding back on his hardness. You felt him quiver at your movement. Then you felt a hard smack against your right asscheek. “Fuck— Jake!”

He soothed the spot, massaging it the slightest bit, and before you had time to fully process the first hit, he went in for another slap on the other cheek. 

You jolted with a squeak, surprised, but fully welcoming it. 

Fuck yeah. Did he like things rough? If so, you were here for it. 

Tossing your hair over your shoulder, you pointedly made eye contact with his hooded gaze. He had a knowing smirk on his face, matching your own expression. 

He gave you two more slaps, one for each side, and this time you felt the cold metal of his rings with the hits. Oh fuck. 

You pushed back on him, wanting more. His thick cock, snug between your sore cheeks at this angle. 

But instead, he flipped you to lay on your back again. Where was this strength coming from? Dear God. 

How easily he maneuvered your body, wherever he wanted it to go. . . You bit your lip. Fuck. It was like you were his little instrument, moving you every which way, like he threw his guitar behind his head so effortlessly—that was you right now. 

Your core convulsed at the thought. 

Jake set an arm next to your head, and the other above, almost cradling it to not hit the headboard. Then he sunk his pulsing dick into your waiting, dripping cunt. At this point, you were getting fairly acquainted with his size, so you grabbed his perfectly round backside, burying him the deepest he could be in you. 

You also used this position to sway your hips up, each stroke on his dick intentional. Throwing in a little trick of yours, you tightened your muscles to grip his length with each roll of your hips, making him fit even more snug, inside of you. 

“Oh baby,” he groaned at the feeling, the first time you did it. And after a few more, he tapped your hip. “If you don’t stop, I’m not gonna last.”

He was trembling above you. His arm was shaking next to your head. 

“Y/n, baby—fuck,” he grunted, tapping at your hip harder. He wasn’t ready to be done. Neither were you. So you tapped him right back, motioning for him to move off of you. 

After he’d moved, you went to lay partially on your side and partially on your belly. You lifted your ass to indicate you were ready. And in one smooth move, his chest was against your back, his arms back where they were before, but in the new position. He slowly slid in, feeling out the new angle. 

You loved it. One of your new favorites. 

“I love this fuckin’ view of you, y/n,” he groaned, his breath hitting your shoulder. “And the way you feel like this—goddamn.”

He was filling you up, all the way, except this time, you had the combined feeling of him inside, while his smooth sac hit your pussy with each languid pump of his hips. 

You watched how his bicep and fist flexed at the same time, with each thrust, so purposeful. 

Damn him for being so sexy.

His hips started moving quicker, almost of their own accord. And before you knew it, he was pounding into you, his balls slapping hard against you. 

The sounds—the way it felt— perfection.

Your toes curled. Ecstasy. He kept hitting your hidden spot inside; your clit was getting friction from his sheets; and the back of your pussy was getting attention, too. Fuck. This position was going in the books.

Without warning, you felt the arm next to you move, his hand going to sweep swift circles on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“Jaaaake,” you whined, sounding completely pathetic. Sweat was beading at your forehead. Your folds were spasming, your pussy ready to let go. “Fuck, baby.”

You couldn’t hold it anymore. All of it combined—the loud slaps of flesh, the sweat, his hand, the pressure of his pretty dick stretching your tender pussy- hitting every part of you—damn.

You came for the second time that night with a curl from your hands and toes, and a loud sob.

“Doing so good, y/n,” he pushed his chest closer to your back, feeling your release against his hand and helping you ride the wave. And all of a sudden, his hips started rutting, so erratically against your ass, his dick pulsing inside with each roll of his hips. “I’m gonna—where do you—fuck! Y/n—.”

Shit. You almost forgot. You weren’t on the pill. You’d just gone off a few months ago. Shit shit shit shit.

Momentarily snapping from your hazy afterglow, you grasped his hip. “Dammit—on my back!” 

Thankfully, he pulled out in time, and with a small moan from his perfect lips, hot spurts of his cum met your back, shiny from sweat. 

After, he laid above you, one shaking arm still above you, the other now holding your tummy. Okay, now you hated this position. You couldn't easily flip to see his face. And you wanted to see him.

He made quick work of reaching for his T-shirt from earlier to clean off your back. 

“Wanna see your face,” he sighed, rubbing at your shoulder. 

You grinned at the sentiment, wanting so desperately to see him, too. So, you rolled onto your back, letting an arm fall above your head, and the other lay across your stomach, replacing where his had been. In a daze, you watched him as he cleaned up his cock, still glistening from your climax. 

Changing your line of sight, you let yourself watch his face as he cleaned himself. His lips were slightly parted, his top lip curled a bit to show some of his top row of teeth. He was focused. And damn he looked good like that. 

But you already knew that. 

Finally, he was done, and he threw the shirt over the side of the bed, joining the pile of clothes on the ground. 

He went to lay just as you had, but with extended an arm for you to curl into.

You should have left. Gone back to your room. You’d gotten what you wanted.

And this was wrong. If it went too far, it could seriously hurt Jake. Make Josh impossibly angry with you for corrupting his brother. . .

But before you could even begin to move, focus too hard on any reasonable thought whatsoever, your head filled with Elsie’s voice, wise with the conversation you’d had that day, in the entryway. 

“I’m saying. . .what if it’s possible he could just want you in his bed and nothing else?” She’d scratched her head. “Would that hurt anything or anyone? I mean, you’ve made it seem to me that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to him. So if you did that, who would it hurt?”

You glanced up at his face, his eyes drooping to follow the sleep you were also craving. His lids fluttered against his smooth skin - his sharp features. Yeah, you were good on that, still . . . no emotional attachment. But he was nice to look at.

Your voice from that day sprang to your mind, fighting.

“Elsie, that’s a stupid plan that could go horribly wrong,” she’d gasped at your insult to her idea. And you’d leveled her with a stare. “And you know it.”

“I do, I do,” she’d reassured. “But what if you just cut it off when it starts to feel like too much?”

You looked to his hands, drumming mindlessly against his hard, tanned stomach. His mouth hummed an unknown tune. You wanted to sink into him. But you knew you could cut it off. You were a pro at that.

“You think I could do that?” You hadn’t been able to believe you were actually starting to give substance to her idea in your head. 

(And here you were doing it again.)

“You’re pretty damn good at burying things right down to the pits of hell, so. . .,” She’d blinked at you, almost innocently with her savage plan leaving her lips. “What’s the harm in giving it a shot? I mean, just one time, at least?”

So, you used your sister’s words from the past as your pass to let yourself be exactly where you wanted to be right now: in his warm, safe, strong arms. It had been now one time. You'd given it a shot. . .

But what if . . .?

And just as you settled into him, your cheek resting on his toned pec, his heart beating steadily underneath, you heard the last of Elsie’s words from that conversation, inspiring you even more to do this. 

To force some substance on this otherwise ridiculous, horrible idea. 

She’d glanced to the side, letting her eyes wander mysteriously for a second. “I think it would be good for you to live on the edge. Just once.” 

And that was all you needed in that sweet, quiet moment, letting yourself cozy up, right into Jake’s chest. . .feeling him kiss the crown of your head. 

Tomorrow could worry about itself.

Because right now? Right now, you were the most blissed out - the most comfortable you’d ever been. 

You weren’t fucking ready to lose this yet, dammit.

And as you drifted off, seconds later, his soft snores lulling you peacefully, you could only hope that he wasn’t ready to lose this—whatever the hell this was—yet, either. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: i'm so ready to share what's coming... i wish i could tell you guys (gn)!! it's killingggg me. anywayssss... please let me know your thoughts! you know i love hearing from you all :) &lt;3

(I will say, I've been giving sporadic hints from the first chapter of what's to come. . . hmmm. who thinks they can guess what's going to turn Reader's life upside down?)

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf

[cindylouwhooo]

Chapter One

Gigi’ POV

There’s something about the spring breeze that instantly calms me.

Well, it usually does.

Now I’m just a ball of anxiety, counting down the seconds until I explode.

I’ve been in the studio for the past three days, wasting the time of my producer and assistant during the day, and getting no sleep while twiddling my thumbs and kidding myself that I can write another album at night.

I thought building a recording studio in my Monaco apartment while I stay here would help me. It hasn’t. At all.

And now I’m standing on my balcony, staring out on the packs of people running around the streets trying to get the place ready for the Grand Prix, contemplating whether I could be a good driver—well, just enough to quit my singing career.

I don’t mind the category; I could do F4. F1 Academy too. I’m really simple.

I drop my head on my hand and groan, just when my phone starts ringing from my back pocket.

“What?”

“Tell me you’ve written something.” Ally, my agent, demands through the device.

“I’ve written something.”

“Okay.” She sighs out. “Now tell me the truth.”

“I’m thinking ways of becoming a Formula 4 driver. Do we still have Susie Wolf’s number?”

“Gigi.”

“Ally, I’m serious. I don’t think I have another one in me.”

Ally starts yapping about something, and I put her on speaker while opening Twitter on my phone.

gigimymother

@gigisantos GIRL!!! RECKLESS THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS COMING!!!! WHEN’S THE NEW ONE????

santoslover

@gigisantos delulu is the solulu cause i still think Gigi is surprising us with a new album on Reckless anniversary…

—> gigifan girl be ffr she’s forgotten all about us

—> santoslover shut up

—> dannylovesgigi SAME!! i do also believe my ex is still in love with me sooooo

—> sandyford absolutely not, she is SO over…fame got to her and she thinks two mediocre albums are enough to stay rich 🤑

dannylovesgigi

y’all why’s the tl saying Gigi quit music???

“Were my albums mediocre?”

“G, get off Twitter for fuck’s sake and listen to what I’m saying.” I do as she says, mainly because I’m pretty sure she’ll fly from Toronto and strangle me if I don’t. “Time is ticking. And not in your favour. There’s so much i can do to keep you afloat.”

It’s the same speech. Over and over.

The same speech that I hear every time I pick up the phone from her call. The same speech that drove me away from Toronto and onto Monaco and the same speech that has drenched all the inspiration from me. I don’t have anything to write about, no words to turn into a song. And with every speech I hear, I don’t even want to try.

It’s draining. I hate it.

“Look, I know it’s difficult but you have to have something.”

I want to cry, I really do because her desperation is so evident in her voice. She believes in me too much and it’s gonna hurt when I disappoint her at the end of the summer.

The phone vibrates against my ear a couple of times and I take that chance to get out of the phone call with my doomed future.

“I gotta go, Ally. Something’s come up. I’ll call you later, okay?”

I end the call before she can butt in and let out the longest sigh in the history of the world. I see my best friend’s name on the screen of the phone and inevitably smile the biggest smile at the words on her text.

francis the king

you, me, alcohol 🍷

tonight

no is not a good enough answer

~ ~ ~

Strangely, the sweaty, already drunk people distantly surrounding our table made my mood quite quickly. Flashes of light spark every other second and I’ve become all too aware of the fact that it’s my first public viewing in a while.

My best friend is nursing on her drink while rolling her eyes at her boyfriend that’s on the phone with her, and I giggle at her facial expressions.

She’s incredibly in love, yet acts like Pierre is bothering her on a girl’s night out.

“Yes, I’ll call you at the end of our night…no we won’t call an UBER…okay, okay. Bye.” She ends the call abruptly and with the biggest, most dramatic sigh. “Okay, now we can start having fun.”

“I was already having fun.” I giggle.

Spending time with Francisca is honestly the only time I feel without the baggage of the third album looming over me. The bartender brings us the second round, and two extra shots on the house, accompanied with a wink for both of us.

“He’s cute.” Kika whisper-yells close to my ear over the loud music.

“Uh, oh. Trouble in paradise with Pierre?”

She rolls her eyes and slumps on my shoulder. “I meant you, dumbass.”

I know she did. But no.

It’s not like I’m cancelling love out of my life, but even entertaining the thought of going through the stages of finding someone and everything that happens after I’ve found someone decent, makes me want to hurl.

“The only man in my life is the imaginary one I created in the studio in order to spike my inspiration to write that damn album. His name is Tim.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Am not!”

“Shut up and drink.”

“Amen.”

~ ~ ~

Four rounds and five shots each later, we’re laughing at our lives and wiping the runny mascara that’s dripping on our cheeks. I don’t know what time it is but I can definitely feel the early stages of a good hangover that I’ll be having once I wake up.

But I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because four rounds and five shots later, I feel ten times better than I did when Ally called me earlier. And not because of the alcohol, but because Kika has lectured the insecurities out of me. She spent our girls night out talking to me and listening to me go on and on about my block and the expectations I’ve put for myself—I talked about shit I wouldn’t admit out loud.

At the end of the night, we’re clutching each other outside of the club and laughing so loud, heads are turning to look at us.

“Jesus, your boyfriend might be fast on track but he’s taking his sweet time getting here.” I pout and drop my head on Kika’s shoulder. “If I make a joke, like, ‘didn’t know you were as slow as your single seater’ will he cry?”

Kika laughs as she slips and grabs me tighter to not fall. “Yeah, he’ll probably cry.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Well, now I feel betrayed.” Pierre’s voice reaches us and Kika bounces off me to jump on him. He grabs her immediately and twirls her around, breaking my heart and making me the happiest person at the same time.

gigisantos …

gigisantos girls night was a success 🍷🍾🎉 @francisca.cgomez

Liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 893,409 more

gigiismother give us the new album!!!!!

santosloverrrr girl, get in the studio

pierregasly thank god i arrived in time

—> gigi @pierregasly shut up tripod

gigisantoslvr love her relationship with pierre 😍

f1fanlover why’s lando in the likes???

—> gigigigi because she’s friends with the drivers?

—> f1fanlover yea but they barely speak

francisca.cgomez my soulmate ❤️

As I drop my still clothed body on my bed, a million lyrics fly through my head. Melodies and words swirl in my alcohol infused mind, suffocating me at once and frustrating me as I forget one by one in the aftermath of a night out at the club.

~ ~ ~

[makeitmingi]

Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 58]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.2K

Chapter warning(s): Suggestion of coital event between characters at the end.

The second last song of the concert was your song. As expected, all the boys did great, they were amazing performers and the fans raised the atmosphere of the stadium.

"Not your indigo child!" The fans yelled your tag, which made your heart swell. You were glad you got it on camera as you recorded the performance. You've heard that fans do that but never have you experienced it before.

"Unnie! Unnie! This is your song!" Haneul tugged on your sleeve as she screamed with the fans excitedly.

"It is." You chuckled, nodding your head as you watched the 8 boys give it their all to perform.

Memories came flooding back, working with them in the studio and at song camp. Even the small, private moments you shared with Mingi late at night.

"I hope you liked that performance, ATINY. It was the hard work of the entire Ateez and Producer Indigo to make that song." Hongjoong panted as he spoke when the performance was finished.

"You know we appreciate our entire producer team." San grinned and everyone cheered.

"Will we see more songs from Producer Ateez in the future?" Wooyoung teased, tapping his chin. That made the fans scream.

"But unfortunately, we will be performing the last song of tonight! We, Ateez, are so grateful for ATINY. So we want to say THANK U." Hongjoong smiled as the introduction of 'THANK U' started playing. Even if the fans were sad that the concert was ending, they gleefully waved their lightsticks.

The boys stood on different sides and ends of the stage, singing their parts and waving to each other. Of course, giving fan service. Like Hongjoong singing the song to Seonghwa.

"Thank you for being on my side." Mingi held his hand out in your direction. Despite being quite a distance away, you and he held eye contact.

'태풍이 몰아쳐도 비바람이 불어도 너와 나 너와 나 언제나 우리일 테니'

Translation: Even if there’s a storm, Even if it’s raining and blowing, You and me You and me It’ll always be us.

As Ateez finished the song, all of them singing the last 4 lines together, Mingi didn't keep his eyes off you. Unknowingly, tears trailed down your cheeks, knowing he was dedicating those lyrics to you. The song ended and ATINY cheered loudly.

"Ateez! Ateez! Ateez!" They chanted, waving their lightsticks. You turned away, using your handkerchief to wipe your tears before they could further soak your mask.

"Don't cry, unnie." Haneul stood on her seat to hug you.

"It's happy tears, baby." You chuckled as you hugged her, cheering alongside the fans.

The concert was over and the fans were streaming out of the venue. You and Haneul were escorted backstage to meet the boys. It was bustling with people running all over the place.

"Let's wait here, baby." You held Haneul back, not wanting her to get run over by equipment carts and styling racks.

"Where are the oppas?" Haneul pouted. She wanted to go see the boys but you were not letting her.

"Hang on." You said. The boys were still in their constumes, meeting other VIP guests that had come to the concert, thanking them for attending and taking a picture.

"Unnie, I want a picture too..." Haneul shook your arm. Jongho seemed to have read Haneul's mind because he waved you two over. You let Haneul go have a photo with the boys, she excitedly stood in the middle while you were happily taking the picture for her with a smile of adoration on your face.

"You can wait for us in the resting room." Seonghwa told you as you held Haneul's hand again. You nodded and he smiled softly, patting your head.

"Let's go wait in the room, baby." You told Haneul. She nodded and walked with you to the waiting room.

"Did you enjoy the concert?" You asked her as she climbed into your lap, sitting facing you.

"Mhmm! It was amazing!" She nodded with a big grin and started rambling about the favourite parts of the concert. You listened intently, giving her all your attention.

"I love your song, unnie!"

"Well, it's not my song. It's all of our song. We wrote it together, Ateez and I." You corrected her.

"But Joong said you made it." Haneul blinked.

"No, we made it together. We made the melody together, recorded together and made the song together." You chuckled. She tapped her chin, nodding to show she accepted your correction. You hadn't realised that the boys entered the room.

"Bear oppa!" Haneul jumped off your lap and ran straight for him, hugging him tightly. You watched as Jongho bent down to her height so she could hug him properly.

"How was it, little bear?" He asked, holding her.

"I love it! You were so cool! You're the best singer in the whole world!" Haneul exclaimed.

"But did you see me dancing, princess? I'm so cool right?" Wooyoung cut into the conversation with a wink and Haneul nodded in agreement, making Jongho roll his eyes.

"Yuyu oppa is the best dancer!" She giggled. Wooyoung's jaw dropped in disbelief while Jongho and Yunho both snickered.

"Thank you, angel." Yunho chuckled while Wooyoung whined about how he was better than Yunho.

"Help me look after her, I'm going to the washroom." You told them. They nodded and you walked out. You were not able to go to the washroom at all during the concert, worried about leaving Haneul alone with strangers there. This felt weird and wrong, getting back into the closeness with Ateez like nothing happened.

"Ugh." You rubbed your temples. Letting out a long sigh, you exited the bathroom. However, you were not expecting someone to be waiting for you there.

"M-M..." You stuttered. He pushed off the wall and stepped closer to you. You felt your heart in your throat.

"Indigo." Mingi spoke. As he stood right before you, his familiar scent filled your surroundings.

"I... I have to get back... to Haneul." You excused but he grabbed your arm. Before you could protest, he yanked you towards him, pressing you to his chest.

"Please... No more running away... Please..." He breathed out shakily as he whispered in your ear. You didn't know what to do.

Mingi hugged you tightly, squeezing you. He was afraid of letting you go, worried that you might disappear if he did, he never wanted to let you go again. It took him a before he felt your arms slowly wrap around him, making him let out a deep sigh.

"Let's talk somewhere else." You murmured. Mingi found a smaller, empty dressing room. You both entered and he closed the door, locking it.

"(y/n)." Him saying your name made you shiver. You leaned against the wall and he towered over you, arm resting above your head.

"Look at me..." He begged, voice breaking. Your eyes slowly moved up to meet his.

"My love." He cupped your cheek. Even with your mask on, you still felt the warmth of his touch and instinctively leaned in. Mingi squeezed his eyes shut as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I missed you so much. You have no idea." He leaned down to press his eyes into your shoulder, his hands coming to rest on your waist.

"I'm sorry, Mingi. I'm so sorry." All you could do was apologise. That seemed to be the only thing you could say to any of the Ateez boys, was that you were sorry. What else were you supposed to say? Were you supposed to express relief now that they know the truth? But still, you stroked the back of his head.

"No, baby... I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that on your own and I didn't even notice it. I'm sorry I said all those words to you." He shook his head.

"It's not your fault, Mingi. You have nothing to be sorry about... I chose to hide it." You said.

"I, on the otherhand, caused so much hurt. I hurt you, the group, everyone." You covered your eyes with your hand as you cried.

"No... baby..." Mingi lifted his head to see you just sobbing. Hearing your broken sobs and whimpers broke Mingi's heart. He couldn't imagine how you felt.

"I was so scared... I didn't know what to do." You said between your sobs. Mingi gently removed your mask and you let him, too busy trying to catch your breath while your crying consumed you.

"It's okay, I'll protect you now." He hugged you tightly, letting you cry into his chest. Mingi felt your whole body shake, just wrecked with sobs and fear. While Mingi had his support system like Yunho and the rest of Ateez,

You had no one.

You were both getting over this break up plus you were scared from the whole harrassment ordeal, yet you had no one to comfort you and help you.

"I won't let you go again. Never." Mingi kissed the top of your head. You pulled away and looked at him.

"Just please tell me you still love me." He spoke is hushed whispers, cupping your cheek as he thumbed your tears away.

"I've never stopped loving you." You said softly. Mingi leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. His other hand came to cup your other cheek.

You squeezed your eyes shut as more tears spilled out and onto Mingi's hands. Your arms wrapped around Mingi's neck, you didn't want to let him go either. If you were dreaming, you hoped that this dream wouldn't end. But you were scared that this was temporary, that everything still wasn't okay.

"I need you, baby. I need you with me." He said, his forehead resting on yours as you both panted, catching your breaths.

'Guessing by how you and Mingi hyung aren't around, we'll head off first! Haneul will be fine with us. I think we should sit down and talk tomorrow with the rest. - Jongho'

'But don't worry about that. For now, spend the time with Mingi hyung. You both need it. -Jongho'

You chuckled as you read the text from Jongho. With disguises, you and Mingi discreetly took a cab back to your apartment.

"Haneul's things are everywhere. She wanted to make sure her outfit was perfect for the concert." You warned as you unlocked the door. Mingi hummed and entered behind you.

"Are you alright?" Mingi asked softly.

"I am. Just... I wasn't expecting this... You, being here... I'm sorry." You apologised as you were unable to string your words together.

"Don't be sorry, I understand. I didn't think this would ever happen either." Mingi tucked your hair behind your ears as he looked down at you. You looked up at him, reading his eyes. You really couldn't believe that Mingi was here, right now, with you.

After you and Mingi showered, you were glued to each other. You laid on the bed, legs tangled together. One hand was on your waist and the other arm acted as a support for your head.

"It must have been scary..." Mingi whispered.

"I was not scared of the threats. I was scared of what they would do to you, to Haneul." You confessed.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. I'll be stronger, baby. If that's what it takes for you to stay by my side, I'll do anything." He squeezed your waist.

"You are strong, Mings." You said. Hearing you call him 'Mings' instead of 'Mingi' just made everything feel right again.

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you or that I didn't think you were strong. It just felt like it was my burden to bear."

"Baby..." Mingi softened.

"I'm sorry." You shook your head as another round of tears came. Even if you and Mingi were possibly forgiving each other and looking past what happened. You don't think you could ever get the look he gave you out of your head, the conversation you had with him in your apartment when you left.

"No more apologies." His thumb caressed the exposed skin of your hip lovingly.

"I really hurt you, Mings. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that." You cried. Your heart was hurting so much.

"But you were hurting too. You were hurting more than me. You hurt me to protect me. I hurt you because I was selfish and ignorant." Mingi said softly.

"You're not selfish or ignorant, Mings." You denied.

"I should have been there to protect you, to share your pain with you and comfort you. I promised to be there for you but I wasn't."

"No, that's not true. You were there for me. Even if you didn't know, you helped me through it. The panic attack that happened when someone followed me home. All the late nights, using work to distract myself, you were there to take care of me." You said softly.

"We'll get through this together. You're not alone anymore. You never will be." He brought you closer to plant a kiss on your forehead. You leaned into his chest.

"This is my second chance. I'm never letting you go again." He said, head pressing against yours.

"I love you, Mings."

"I love you too, baby. So much. You have idea. I can't breathe without you. Everything feels so wrong and empty when you're not there, like something is missing." He said, shedding tears of his own now.

"Oh, Mings." You looked up at him, reaching up to cup his cheek. It was his turn to lean into your touch now.

"I'll keep you safe." He promised. You moved to wrap your arms around him, pressing your lips into his. He pulled your body against his, as if you could be any closer than you already were. When you both broke the kiss, you hugged him, your chin on his shoulder and legs wrapped around him as he held you.

"As much as I love the way you're hugging me now, I'm worried sleeping like this will hurt your back, baby." Mingi chuckled, patting your butt lovingly.

"I don't think I can sleep." You told him but let him go so you could snuggle up to him properly.

"Why?" He stroked your head.

"I'm worried this is a dream, Mings. That when I wake up, I'll be alone again. And there's no one else I can blame for that except myself." You said softly.

"I know, baby. I'm scared too. But this isn't a dream. We'll take each day as it passes." He said.

"Okay." You agreed, closing your eyes. Mingi's hand gently patted your back to coax you to sleep. Even if you always complained that you only do that to babies, Mingi knew you liked it.

"Goodnight, baby. I love you." Mingi kissed your head and held you securely as he drifted to dreamland again. For the first time in over 8 months, you and Mingi were both able to get a proper night's sleep, embracing each other.

When you woke up, it was 11am. You have never slept in or woken up this late in the past 8 months since you've been in America.

"Mingi." You gasped and turned around to be greeted by Mingi's sleeping face. You let out a soft sigh of relief, glad that it wasn't a dream. He was really here, in your bed.

"Baby?" Mingi groaned out in his deep, morning voice.

"I'm here, Mings." You carded your fingers through his hair softly. He hummed and pulled you close, burying his head in your chest as he let out a sigh.

"You're still here..." He mumbled.

"Of course. This is my house." You chuckled. Mingi pressed feather-like kisses on your collarbone, squeezing your waist as he trailed up your neck. You giggled as his hair tickled your skin. When he finally moved up and reached your face, he opened his eyes and shared a look with you.

"Let's stay in bed a little longer, hmm?" He cupped your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. You nodded your head and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips.

By the time you two finally got ready to leave, it was way past lunchtime. But you weren't hungry at all.

All you wanted was to stay with Mingi in this bubble forever. You didn't want to him to leave.

"Wait, Mings. Before we talk to the others, let's talk. The two of us" You held his arm. He nodded and sat on the couch while you made two cups of coffee.

"What's... going to happen to us? Going forward." You asked, looking down at your mug.

"Baby, I meant what I said last night. I'm never letting you leave my side again. That's a promise. We'll get through this together."

"Yeah but-"

"No but's. I'll launch the internal investigation or I'll find my own investigators to find out who the culprit is. We'll be okay, I'll keep you and Haneul safe, I promise." He squeezed your hands, looking at you with determination.

"I won't make you or convince you to leave Big Hit. I think that's a great opportunity. And maybe it's for the best that we don't work together if we're in a relationship." Mingi said.

"I agree. Thank you." You smiled softly. Mingi shook his head, there was no need to thank him.

"How long are you going to stay here for though?"

"I told Pdogg about 2 years? I wanted to gain some experience working with foreign producers here before going back. I thought 2 years would be enough time to get over everything." You explained.

"I understand. Well, 8 months of those 2 years are over. What do you want to do?" He asked.

"Do you want me to move back to Korea?" You hesitated.

"It's not about what I want. That's why I asked what you want to do, baby. Thinking about what you want, not what I want. It's only a little over a year more. We will make it work and we can visit each other. I have faith in us." Mingi chuckled, pressing his forehead against yours. You reached over to hug him properly.

"You're really okay if I stay?" You looked at him worriedly, knowing how tough long distance relationships could be.

"Of course, baby. Whether you're here or in Korea, you're still mine and I'm still yours." Mingi said, pulling you onto his lap and caressing your back.

"Thank you." You hummed as you squeezed him.

"There's no need to thank me, baby. I'm glad you're putting yourself first in this. You deserve this great opportunity." He smiled.

"And maybe it's for the better. Let us run the investigation while you're not in the country, at least I know you're safer here. It should all be over by the time you come home." He promised.

"You're my home, Mings. I will always come back to you." You said.

"And I'll be waiting for you. I'll be the first to welcome you home." He held your cheeks and pressed his lips against yours.

~

Series Masterlist

[tokiro07]

Toki Reads Shonen Jump 2024, Issue #47

One Piece: The Post-Baroque Works Straw Hats learn that the Luffy has been publicly labeled as Vegapunk's killer, and Robin notices a familiar X edited onto Luffy's arm in the accompanying photo; meanwhile, Luffy meets the disgraced prince of Elbaf, Loki. Vivi snuck a message to the Straw Hats past Morgans, and some readers believe Loki's situation to be a parallel to when Luffy met Zoro and take that as a sign he may be recruited to the Straw Hats

HxH: Balsamilco attempts to assassinate Halkenburg, but is struck by Halkenburg's Nen arrow, resulting in his body being possessed. Provided he can evade Benjamin's suspicions, Halkenburg can use Balsamilco's body to assassinate Benjamin instead

Yozakura Family: As Kyoichiro enter's Asa's ship to rescue his father, Momo, he recalls his conversation with Momo about the plan to use Momo's Dreams to break Asa's Conquest over Taiyo's body, and is surprisingly against a plan that would endanger Taiyo; meanwhile, Alpha cries over seeing his father possessed by Asa. In addition to clarifying how Taiyo can be rescued, one could also draw parallels between Kyoichiro and Alpha's desires to save their respective fathers

Undead Unluck: Soul takes the stage to fight Julia; Change fights Gina, disarming her while entering Phase 3, but ends up getting decked in the face for her troubles. Gina's character arc reaches its climax, mirroring her dialogue from her first appearance with a notable change in her opinion on "change" as a concept

Me & Roboco: Ruri and Roboco take the Hunter Exam Serialization Conference's trials to have a serialization approved for Shonen Jump. With her serialization approved, Ruri's manga will likely be a recurring element going forward, possibly getting full faux chapters like Uron Mirage in Witch Watch

Sakamoto Days: Atari foresees her death, which can only be avoided if she meets up with her soulmate; using her precognition, she survives an attack from and ultimately defeats Higuchi, the karma-obsessed killer from Sakamoto's flashback. The viability of Atari's precognition is shown off, but fans start to question her exact wording; while we all assume her "soulmate" is going to be Shin, she has never once directly alluded to him specifically, and might well mean Heisuke instead

Elusive Samurai: now fully human, Shizuku devises a plan to overcome Takauji's divinity and render him vulnerable to human weaponry; a character I don't recognize and can find no information on secretly offers Tokiyuki refuge in Shinano. This will presumably account for some of the missing time in Tokiyuki's historical records

Witch Watch: Nemu tries to come clean about being the stray cat that routinely visits the Otogi Family, but ends up engaging in accidental bestiality with Keigo (and arguably purposeful bestiality with Wolf). Shipteases my personal favorite part of the entire series, making this one of my favorite chapters of the week

Blue Box: Chinatsu realizes that something is up when Taiki doesn't come to meet her, and manages to find him locked up in a shed by a boy who claims to have liked her for some time. Chinatsu's faith in Taiki and righteous indignation towards the other boy are a refreshingly straightforward take on the usual misunderstandings and subterfuge you find in these types of rom-coms

Akane-Banashi: Akane tries to refuse Issho's forceful recruitment, but Urara appears to save her from throwing her career away in a moment of passion; Akane asks Urara to explain Issho and Shiguma's past. Whatever Akane learns here will influence her decision to study under Issho, and will definitely be of extreme importance to how she refines Shiguma's Art

Kill Blue: Juzo finally wins the cavalry battle, then invites Hijiri out for ramen at Noren's uncle's restaurant; Shin almost manages to get a lap pillow from Noren, but is interrupted by Jinta, who now considers him a blood brother. Juzo's refusal to accept one person's suffering for the Greater Good will likely be a recurring theme for this arc

Nue's Exorcist: Tsujita resolves to confess to Gakuro and picks a fight with Kazusa, resulting in both of them getting accidentally groped; Rido seems to be betraying the Exorcists to heal Mizuki's illness; Gashadokuro is resurrected. If we're not going the poly route, then Tsujita's proactiveness is set to earn her the dishonor of being the first losing heroine; either way, Gashadokuro is definitely going to interupt her date with Gakuro

Kagurabachi: Hiruhiko exposits about the Hishaku's organization and somehow comes to the conclusion that it's not just his similarities with Chihiro that would make them good friends, but their differences; the Hishaku close in Samura. If the Hishaku successfully kill Samura or Uruha, Hiruhiko will be given possession of one or both of their Enchanted Blades

Super Psychic Policeman Chojo: Ippongi brings her grandfather to meet Chojo, who in turn comes to believe that Chojo is a dangerous womanizer who's trying to seduce Ippongi. With the number of girls surrounding Chojo, it's starting to seem like the author is trying to set this series up as a harem

Astro Royale: Realizing that the cops are so dangerous because of their synergy, Hibaru realizes the best strategy is to divide and conquer. A nice bit of strategy on Hibaru's part that justifies the one-on-one matchups quite gracefully; I do hope we'll see combo attacks later, though

Yokai Buster Murakami: Kuin and Murakami meet Shutendoji, who doesn't want to be the leader of a yokai gang and instead wants to relax and drink; Murakami recruits her to the Kuin Corps by letting her do just that. Kuin now effectively has both the exorcist and yokai worlds under his command; could a peaceful and unified world be around the corner?

Ultimate Exorcist Kiyoshi: After beating up an old man, Kiyoshi is granted the title of Grand Cross, giving him the right to go on expeditions to the Demon Realm; a bounty has been put on Kiyoshi's head in the Demon Realm. Presumably, Kiyoshi will begin an expedition to the Demon Realm in the following arc

Hima-Ten: Kanna transfers to Tenichi's school, definitely for work and NOT to get closer to Tenichi; Kanna IMMEDIATELY notices that Tenichi likes Honoka, but doesn't seem discouraged. If this doesn't end up poly, I'm rioting

Ichi the Witch: Kumugi gets to know Ichi, and the two seem to hit it off pretty well, though seeing him in action unsettles her a little bit. Magic-based discrimination seems to go beyond gender and applies to aptitude, setting up the hapless Kumugi as a foil to the one-in-a-million Ichi

Shinobi Undercover: Miyake calls out Hibari for being fake as hell and even taunts her for trying to save a civilian; though Hibari fails to deal damage, she manages to send a message to Yodaka. Hibari's refusal to abandon a classmate and decision to call Yodaka for help reinforces the growing themes of Frienship

Hakutaku: Hikuma's team gives a skewed impression of how quickly game development works, and Kitahara reinvents Among Us. As this is the first major conflict, the main team is likely going to win, but the thematic implications may not be clear for a while

Ruri Dragon: Despite her fear of thunder, Ruri uses the knowledge that her classmates aren't scared of her as motivation to use her powers to stop the storm. Ruri's fears of being an outcast are effectively assuaged, and she's beginning to be able to accept herself

As I wrote this, near the end tumblr informed me that I exceeded some kind of text limit about halfway through Hakutaku, so perhaps I'll need to shave these down going forward?

If anyone has any suggestions for how I can better refine this recap series or make it more engaging, please let me know! As it stands, the only benefit I'm getting is an excuse to try to remember the series I don't care as much about, but I don't think that will carry over to other readers, so I'm open to any feedback y'all are willing to give!

[heartofstanding]

In contrast to the multifaceted figure that emerges from medieval sources, the she-wolf image of Isabella began to be perpetuated in theatre and poetry from the sixteenth century onwards, despite or perhaps as a result of the lack of satisfactory research with regard the queen. The careful balance that had characterized the medieval approach to Isabella weakened if not disappeared in modern historiography, which focused most attention on certain adverse events in Isabella’s life. Paul Doherty is rather characteristic of this approach, which one may label biased, when he called his excellent study of the queen, Isabella and the Strange Death of Edward II, thus relegating the queen’s political contribution to the history of England to a secondary role. James C. Davies argued in this regard that “the minor position she occupied before 1326 has caused her character to be neglected until the last crisis of the reign”. However, this claim is barely supported by the narrative sources from Edward II’s reign, which reflect a clear interest in the queen and her deeds at least since 1308, when she arrived to England. Although historiographical research on Isabella has grown considerably in recent years, much attention is still devoted to the scandalous events of her life while relegating her important insight into English politics to secondary consideration. Isabella became the symbol of the unfaithful wife, an adulteress, a woman of strong character and violent passions whose evil nature stood in complete contrast to the alleged morality of the English people. More than once has Isabella been accused of allowing the frail female variety in her to overcome the queen. Harold Hutchison represents in this regard just another example in a long line of critics when he refers to Isabella’s “savage temper” and in reference to her death remarks that “it is ironical that the “she wolf of France” met her peaceful end in the innocent habit of the Order of the Poor Clares”. Alison Weir, in an effort to change the balance in favor of Isabella, defines the aim of her recent book in these terms: “to restore the reputation and rehabilitate the memory of a remarkable yet grossly maligned woman, who was the victim, not of her own wickedness, but of circumstances, unscrupulous men, and the sexual prejudices of those who chose to record her story”. Such an attempt to improve Isabella’s memory while turning her into a victim of circumstances or of unscrupulous men, actually challenges the queen’s independent character and relegates Isabella to the dubious rank of a victim of circumstances. Furthermore, in the chapter devoted to her activities between 1326 and 1330 in his well-documented study on Edward II, Roy Martin Haines opts to approach Isabella as “the Iron Lady” – a rather anachronistic comparison with the former English Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.

Sophia Menache, "Isabella of France, Queen of England. A Postscript." Revue belge de philologie et d'histoire, tome 90, fasc. 2, 2012.

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 15: PAINFUL RE:BAKE - Episode 20: That's A Wrap

Kumon: Oh man, oh man, gotta hurry!

Yuki: Did you let the florist know about the change in plans?

Tenma: No–

Muku: I’ll do it for you!

Misumi: Gotta bring some triangle goods too~

Tenma: Yeah, no need.

Omi: Is something wrong?

Kazunari: You know how Taicchan’s drama wraps up filming today?

Kazunari: Since TenTen’s schedule worked out just right, he was thinking of bringing a bouquet to the scene!

Tenma: Problem is, Igawa told me things have been progressing a little too fast on their side.

Tenma: Chances are I won’t make it in time if I don’t leave now.

Yuki: You also have to pick up the flowers from the florist.

Omi: Is Igawa-san coming to pick you up?

Tenma: No, Igawa’s accompanying Taichi to the scene and can’t come.

Izumi: Tenma-kun, the car’s ready!

Tenma: We might also get stuck in traffic at this time of day, so I should probably give up on the flowers…

Omi: I can get you there on my motorcycle. It’s easier to avoid traffic jams than it is with a car.

Izumi: True, that way might be better.

Tenma: Are you sure?

Omi: Yeah. All the better if I can take a look around the place Taichi is filming at, too.

Tenma: Thanks.

Izumi: See you later! Stay safe!

Kazunari: Say hi to Taicchan for us~!

-

[Taichi walking in the water]

Taichi: “Ah…”

Taichi: “M… My… voice…”

Taichi: “Uwahhhhhh…!!”

Staff A: Cut!

Staff B: That’s a wrap!

Taichi: Thanks for your hard work~!

Staff B: Good work!

Tenma: The last scene where he regains the voice he’d lost… You can tell how far he’s come just from this.

Omi: Yeah, he’s completely different from the Taichi I’m used to seeing. I can’t act like that… Taichi’s amazing.

Tenma: … He’s gone one step ahead and improved as an actor again.

Staff A: Good work, Nanao-san!

Taichi: Thank you very much!

Tenma: Good work, Taichi. This one’s from the agency.

Taichi: Ten-chan, you actually came!? And you even brought flowers– I’m so happy!

Tenma: I’m not the only one who came. Look over there.

Omi: ——

Taichi: Omi-kun, too– Thanks!

Tenma: Your personality changes in a snap when you get out of character.

Omi: …

Omi: (Taichi took on a challenge to overcome his past, and even though he failed so many auditions, he kept getting back up and made it happen... He really is amazing.)

Omi: (Compared to him, I…)

Omi: (... I’m only thinking about how to not get left behind.)

-

[Motorcycle speeding]

Omi: (I like responding to people’s wants. That’s why this time I should look for what I want to do…)

Omi: (But no matter how hard I try, I come up blank.)

Omi: (Both my desire to perform with everyone in the Autumn Troupe and my desire to break out of my shell and grow as an actor are genuine.)

Omi: (I think I should also take this opportunity to take another look at my relationship with theater.)

Omi: (But how can I go about doing that…?)

-

Omi: …

Omi: (It’s been a long time since I last came here.)

Omi: (If Nachi was in my shoes, I’m sure he’d have found what he wanted to do and what direction he wanted to take in record time.)

Omi: (He’d probably have said he was aiming for Hollywood, even though he couldn’t speak a lick of English.)

Omi: —Heh.

Omi: (Nachi always dragged me around with his crazy ideas, but he saved me that way, too.)

Omi: …

Omi: (I can’t rely on him forever. I should head back…)

[Metal dropping to the ground]

Omi: ?

???: I’m tellin’ ya, I’m “Wolf”. I’m Wolf’s Nachi.

???: You haven’t heard of me? Guess you haven’t.

Omi: ——

Omi: (Did that come from over there?)

-

Vulgar young man A: Ugh…

Vulgar young man B: Uuuuu..

[Punching]

Keiku: …

Omi: That’s–

previous episode | masterpost | next episode

NOTES:

(1) the title for this chapter, クランクアップ (crank up) is a term used to signify the end of a shooting of a movie or some other form of video work. the english equivalent to this is wrap, most often seen in the phrase 'that's a wrap'

[satureja13]

It took a while until they reached their final destination. They had to sneak and made sure nobody followed them. But now they are finally at the end of their Jungle Adventure!

They way inside is barred... Ji Ho: "How are we supposed to enter?" Saiwa: "There must be a way. We've made it this far already. Let's search the surroundings." Jeb: "But stay together! And be careful! Gods when I think of only Jack and I survived - I..I..."

Jeb was interrupted by the Droid, who was beeping excitedly... He was standing in front of a pedestal. Jack: "So other Jeb said, we need the crystals for the pedestals by the ship. Leaves the potion..."

And really, as soon as they placed the potion at the pedestal, a crack opened! It was a bit of a hassle to slip through the vines and the narrow crack, but eventually they all made it to the other side.

There is the Ship! But it's in a cave and the roots keep it in place...

Saiwa: "So when we place the crystals and the meteorites - something will happen. But Ji Ho's pedestal is on this side and we are on the ship. This might divide us and Jeb ... the other Jeb warned us and said we have to stay together!" Rubyn: "But he also told us to do so..." Ji Ho: "I think you have to go ahead and I stay with Rubyn to find a way to use the meteorites to travel! Now that we have all the information from Albaleyh and ... the other Jeb and this pedestal here. And then we can meet again soon. And bring Kiyoshi back." The Bond only hears that Ji Ho and Vlad will be divided...

Saiwa shared his recordings from Albaleyh with Rubyn before they leave. Jeb: "I really hope we are doing the right thing here, Ji Ho." Ji Ho: "The other Jeb and Jack must have been sure it works out. If not they wouldn't have lead us here, hm? We will be together soon." Vlad was very, very silent in the background...

Jack was just about to explore the ship...

When Malfoy appeared in front of him! (Malfoy can sense any kind of magical interferences.)

Vlad shouted: "Jack! Wolf!" The Bond pushed him towards the others. The others who are going to keep him from Ji Ho - again! And Jack knew what was about to happen in an instant. He shifted to stop Vlad the Bond from killing them. Jack is the only one strong enough to keep Vlad at bay.

And Vlad knows that very well... he still has the scars, you know?

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🌴 'The Expedition' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: 🎤 'Putting the Boys Back together' from the beginning ▶️ here 🥀 'Disbandment of the Group' from the beginning ▶️ here

[falconflare]

how to get your daughter to stop talking like a robot:

a really informal post where i try and decipher bronya's transition from talking about herself in third person to being normal

This is kind of just for me and me alone but I like to yap and somebody might be interested enough to listen along. For the sake of the many non-Hi3 folk around here I will begin by getting into some context. First, though, let me be really upfront and honest: I've played this game since 2019 and, despite having replayed a lot of the content, Bronya is a character that exists from chapter 1 until the very end with a lot of screentime. I may lose some details. This post is perhaps not biblically accurate.

let's get into it.

Bronya was born in Siberia, orphaned by a Honkai eruption, and then scooped up by the military and trained as a soldier at the ripe age of... We don't know. Younger than twelve, we know that much for certain. She was a fantastic sniper, dubbed Silver Wolf of the Urals, and on a mission to assassinate a woman by the name of Cocolia, she failed.

Cocolia then captured her and, well, brought her to her orphanage. I'd say it's downhill from here (it is) but she didn't really start too far uphill either.

The robotic speech thing is... well, we don't know when or why it necessarily started. We see Bronya speaking this way from literally chapter 1 of the game. In the supplemental manga, Azure Waters, which details Bronya's life before the game's events, we see her refer to herself in first person right from the start, which is when Cocolia captures her.

The next time we see her it is a bit over a year later just living her life as an orphan and by then she's referring to herself now interchangeably between first and third person. It kind of seems to happen randomly, so we're going to narrow it down to situation by situation:

What did we learn from this? Um... not as much as I had hoped to be quite honest.

Now is the part where I also bring up that I am obviously relying on the English translations of all of this content, which comes from before Hoyo's translation team was quite where it's at now. For the record, I'm probably just bashing my head against a wall here. Anyway.

My initial thoughts were that she either swapped to third person as a sort of stress response, or even just only really used first in conversations with people she's close to. I guess we never see her use either with people other than Seele or Cocolia in this manga, except for the one time she uses third with the kid that throws her down some stairs, but she uses both with the former two which pretty much solidifies it's not a person to person thing.

The other hypothetical I had looked at was it being triggered by situation, which was almost holding water until we hit a point where situations I had formerly deemed as first person Bronya would get a random third person line slapped into them. And then we have multiple of the same type of situation where it also seems to just be... random between the two.

Basically, I'm going insane.

But then we have the canon game events, which start about three years after the above manga. And by then, Bronya literally never speaks in first person. Like. Never. Which, we know, is due to the fact that she loses the ability to feel emotions after an experiment done on her. Of course throughout the course of the game the actual effect of that experiment is nullified (herrscher nonsense blah blah blah) and yet she still... deliberately chooses to speak in third person? For like... the next 10 years.

So now we are here at where I write Bronya, which is age 25 as she is featured in A Post Honkai Odyssey, which is a secondary game mode that follows the events of canon Hi3 with a pretty hefty timeskip. In which she does, in fact, speak in first person.

Like seriously. She got normal. What. (For the record the first screenshot also comes from a point in the narrative where she can feel emotions again and does not need to speak like that)

So now we can get into how I translate this information into my characterization:

Based on the fact that the actual habit of referring to herself in third person seems to have existed before she was actually turned into the equivalent of a robot, I imagine it to be a pre existing behavioral pattern that was just easy and appropriate for her to adopt when the disconnect from her identity as a human became real.

But I think it's important to state that it was always there. Bronya was a weapon before she was even a kid, desensitized to some crazy things (murder??) and a literal child soldier. It may just be an inconsistency in the narrative, or a translation moment, but I choose to believe that it was something she began to adopt as a form of coping with these heinous acts that she was being forced to commit. By referring to Bronya as though she is not Bronya, it could certainly soften that truth for a literal child.

Tangentially, I also think this puts a really interesting parallel into her dynamic with Seele. For the fans at home, Seele in Hi3 has two selves (or... another person in her body but semantics are semantics) where the front presenting one is viewed as soft and timid and her other self is harsh and a touch violent. Where Seele's narrative is all about the separation of these two selves, Bronya's seems to play the slow and less-direct game of unifying both her colder, apathetic front and her true, emotional self.

We don't really see on screen the deliberate choice that Bronya makes to stop favoring this speech pattern, but I think that the impact it has in the difference you can really see and feel in her character is very there. It makes me very soft and stupid to see her all grown up when I was also a kid when I started playing this game LMAO

Anyway, if you made it this far then hi. I owe you money. This has been something I've really wanted to piece together and I do my best thinking when talking it out so that is... basically what this was LMAO. Bronya is perhaps not the highest on my list of favorite characters but she is still so dear to me and getting to delve into her has taught me such a new appreciation for her and her importance to the narrative. Love this thang.