#and the ars are like shaped like hearts or animal heads or something

[maretriarch]

ferris wheel playsets r criminally underrated

[percabethfeelsfandom]

Godly Parents

Godly Parents

I’ve seen a lot of people trying to figure out who their godly parents is/are purely based on the face value of how Percy sees them and what they’re known for. For example, people claiming they cannot possibly be a child of Athena because they’re not wise or not smart. That’s not how it works.

I have always said that I was a child of Athena, and I have the tests to back me up (even though I’m also very likely a child of Poseidon)

And I don’t say this because I’m trying to become Percy or because I related on such a deep level with Percy and Annabeth and their characters. But because Athena is the goddess of knowledge, I have never known a closer, more valuable friend than words on a page. Never been so at peace than I was in the quiet of the night, reading under the covers while I know distantly owls are just waking for the night. I know I’m a child of Athena because no other god values the history of our world, the literature of our world, and it’s importance. In Athena, and in Annabeth I saw grit, determination, and I saw how they valued words in a way that spoke to my soul. And I knew. Knew that I was looking into a mirror.

On the flip side. I can see my potential as a child of Poseidon. It’s not just my inner dream and goal to be a waterbender. But it’s the utter calm that washes over me when I’m at the beach, the water lapping at my feet. The breeze in my hair. The whisper of the waves telling me I’m home. It’s the freshness of stepping into a shower, and coming out of it feeling alive. The way my temper ebbs and eases with the tide, clouding over and storming when things don’t work out. The way it slows down, to barely a ripple when things do.

Children of Hades aren’t just emo children ‘going through a phase’, they are the shadows in the group, the constant presence, laughing in the background, always there when you need them, though it may not always be obvious. They are the constantly cold hands, even in the heat of the summer.  Soft voices that can command armies should they decide to. The temper that runs in their blood is different to their uncles (Zeus and Poseidon), their temper simmers, slowly growing over time, tending to it like a cold flame. These are the children of the night, burning the midnight oil, working on passion projects. You know you’re a child of the god of the dead, when you find comfort in silence, but still need that time with the people you love, because family is still family.  

Children of Zeus are the leaders struggling with the pressure of being leaders. They’re the ones people turn to when things go wrong, wanting to know what to do. But they’re just trying their best. And their best is enough. They are the smell just before it rains. They are charismatic personalities that turn heads in a room. Extroverted people who thrive in crowds and gain their own personal power in being around like-minded people. They’re strong and resilient, but flighty.

Children of Hermes, keep your eye on these kids. Because they’ll pass you if you blink. And I don’t necessarily mean just by their speed. Their minds are constantly working, running, sprinting. Rivalling even the genius children of Athena and Hephaestus, these children throw themselves into work, working on half a dozen passion projects, pouring their heart in soul into them. Master on none, but master of many, indeed, they are the future entrepreneurs, innovators and CEO’s of the world. Helping the world keep going round, with the cheeky smile of their father and the smart aleck comment to match. Quick hands that never stop fidgeting, and unfocused eyes which are already thinking of the next thing to learn. They have new hobbies each week, and never bore.

Artemis

There may not be any children of Artemis. But there are hunters. They are immortal beings with grace unattainable by mere mortals. They are liquid in physical bodies, moving with ease, notching an arrow, taking aim and watching it fly. Running across fields without a sound. Braids whipping in the wind, and hair coming loose to frame faces of women who are free. Like the children on Athena their time is the night, illuminated by the moon their patron goddess rules over. The hunters are queens and princesses in their own right with their regal movements and the knowledge they have from living for decades.

Apollo

Children of Apollo are the wheels that keep camp turning. They are constantly working in tandem with the Hermes kids, always lending a helping hand, catching you when you fall, healing you when you need it. They are melodic voices and harmonious laughter. The embodiment of light, reminding you, reminding us that this is why we have art, because art and music, and everything that Apollo represents is what makes life living. They are the ones that light up rooms, drawing eyes in a crowd. People pleasers, that thrive in crowds. Similar to children of zeus, which makes sense as they are family. They may not be leaders, but they do set trends. Like the hunters, Apollo’s children have immense skill with a bow and arrow, letting arrow after arrow fly with precision and ease.  

Dionysus

Children of Dionysus are the party animals. The ones with all the connections. They’re the friend that everyone references when they say ‘I know a guy’. They are the ones you can always count on to have a good time. They make you laugh so hard that you cry, they’re the ones you call when you’re upset and just want to forget about reality for a night. But they’re more than that, they work close with the children of Demeter, tending to the strawberry fields, their powers responding to the touch of their fingertips. Like their father they are stubborn, their thoughts set in and hard to break like the vines that grapes grow on. But be wary for, no matter how easy-going they may seem, they sometimes don’t know limits and can influence others to descent into the same madness that only they can control.

Demeter

Children of Demeter are the steady roots of camp. Unable to be uprooted if they don’t agree with plans. Stubborn but their feelings well intentioned. They’re always there to lend a hand. With faces tanned from time in the sun, and noses burnt, they have kind smiles and hands rough with callouses that come with working hard. They’re the one’s who seem to always know where to find the best snacks, and sneak them in to you when you need it. Like all Olympians children of Demeter are proud, tending to their plants with utmost care, always secretly thinking that theirs are the best. They are the quiet listeners of camp, taking in all of the information before speaking, acting mediator when they decide.

Aphrodite

Children of Aphrodite are the ones you turn to when all hope is lost. Because when nothing is left, there will still always be love. Beauty is subjective, but the children of Aphrodite are the pioneers for body positivity, constantly advocating for self love all around camp telling people that they are beautiful and reminding them of their self worth. They are the children you roll your eyes at, not realising the power they have in words. The true mediators of camp, calming fights between the hot heads and the stubborn blood. With hair that always seems to change colour the next time you see them, children of Aphrodite remind you that they are in fact children of a goddess, and they’re not about to let you forget.  

Ares

Children of Ares are warriors from the moment they are born, but they don’t have to be. In typical olympian fashion, they are stubborn, the most stubborn of the family. But they are also the ones you talk to when someone says something bad behind your back and you want to get back at them. They persevere, they always push back and they never give up. On the field they are the ones you look to for guidance, for they show no fear. They keep to themselves in camp, preferring to stay with their siblings to avoid the way that campers look at them. But you just need to approach them like you would a cat scared of new strangers. Because they do have a soft side, because all warriors need to rest sometimes.

Hephaestus

Children of Hephaestus are the faces behind the scenes. The welders of the weapons you wield. The people that shape the shields that protect you. They are the immovable force that remains steady no matter what. Their hands always fidget wanting- needing to be tinkering something. They tend to be warmer than most demigods, their bodies naturally also more fire resistant. Working in tandem with children of Athena, they are all about creating, because without them there is no camp. They look at a junkyard and see the greatest treasure known to humankind. Turning any trash into treasure. They are soft despite their exterior, meticulous with their creations, pouring all the love and care into them that their father never received from his family. There’s an awkward edge to them but despite that they remind kindhearted, and always happy to help.

[reluctanx]

𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]

-Neito Monoma

!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you

!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him

!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much

!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception

!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit

!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you

!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass

!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that

!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless

!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls

!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-

!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg

!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )

!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet

!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear

!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..

!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT

!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”

!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”

!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.

!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..

!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way

!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”

!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.

-Itsuka Kendo

!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*

!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.

!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..

!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.

!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon

!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)

!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days

!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk

!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.

!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”

!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*

!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group

!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”

!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.

!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-

!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”

!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg

!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective

!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”

!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.

!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.

!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.

!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”

!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL

!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess

!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH

!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’

!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)

!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<

!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies

!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES

Sen Kaibara

!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!

!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..

!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his

!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..

!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<

!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you

!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐

!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”

!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)

!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*

!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it

!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)

!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.

!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*

!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious

!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..

!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c

!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,

!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you

!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss

!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER

!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears

!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”

!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY

!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric

!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao

!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer

!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.

!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly

!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’

!! 📢 | SIMP

!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you

!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing

!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.

Ibara Shiozaki

!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical

!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls

!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”

!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her

!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert

!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro

!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)

!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..

!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”

!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.

!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely

!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first

!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room

!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”

!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)

!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere

!! 🌱| teases you but a lot

!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you

!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible

!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays

!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.

!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush

!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts

!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission

!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book

!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|

!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand

!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to

!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.

!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”

!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK

!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!

!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.

!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior

!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him

!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first

!! 🦈| awkward, like really

!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”

!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile

!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing

!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-

!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)

!! 🦈| probably have adhd

!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks

!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun

!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D

!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis

!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag

!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him

!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”

!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie

!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you

!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope

!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?

!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”

!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭

!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes

!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone

!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-

!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead

!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are

!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima

!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones

!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)

!! 🦈| okay but power couple

!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”

!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited

!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well

!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺

!! 🦈| adores you

!! 🦈| play games with you :)

!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-

Reiko Yanagi

!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways

!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you

!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice

!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess

!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with

!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.

!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle

!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music

!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!

!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality

!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her

!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”

!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-

!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed

!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time

!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you

!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY

!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games

!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”

!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts

!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair

!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<

!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are

!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so

!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..

!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting

!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you

!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset

!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..

!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”

!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!

!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would

!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission

!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you

!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch

Setsuna Tokage

!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date

!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her

!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals

!! 🐊| will do everything for you

!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that

!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES

!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”

!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”

!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses

!! 🐊| eyes contact is important

!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person

!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other

!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)

!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage

aight ya’ll, bye!

[deinocheirus]

The reasoning behind the God’s designs part 1: Minerva, Jupiter, Juno, Mars, Vulcan, Venus, Mercury (NS/FW text warning)

Minerva: The first one I initially designed years ago, started off as me wanting to just make her a big ugly brain monster with a toothy smile (which ended up being the main design motif of the gods)

There is a myth that Athena-Minerva had a mother named Metis, who Zeus-Jupiter turned into a fly and ate to prevent the birth of a son prophesied to overthrow him (leading to her giving birth inside him and Athena/Minerva emerging from his head fully grown). The story ended up making me imagining her as some sort of botfly-like entity. Been wanting to make her chin more proboscis-like to make the fly thing more obvious and also makes her slightly elephant-like

Athena/Minerva is described as having blue eyes in sources so I guess I kept one thing about her appearance accurate.

Jupiter: the story of him accendentally vaporizing Semele when he revealed his true nature as a god + taking the form of rain when conceiving Perseus made me want to go with him being a living storm or lightening in some way. Ended up taking the form of a little ball because I wanted him to look as unlike his usual wise grandpa design as possible. Made his eye red cause the red spot on (the planet) Jupiter

Juno: Combined animals strongly associated with her (Cows, peacocks) into something that looks like “the queen of the heavens”, her horns being her “crown”, a "cape” like a peacock’s train. Wanted her to have somewhat of a cosmic look, since the story that the Milky Way was created from her spilled breast milk. The exterior of her cape is whiteish because at one point  I was going to try to make it look a bit like a wedding gown since she’s the Goddess of marriage, but i don't know how much that remained in the final design.

Gave her a lot of eyes cause her association with Argus/peacocks, often being described as “Cow eyed”, as well as her watchful nature.

Mars: There was no mythological basis for him being ape-like it just felt right for a war god. Ares and Mars traditionally are not strongly associated with phallic imagery (Mercury/Hermes, Dionysus/Liber, and Roman Vesta were much more so), but (Roman) Mars association with Virility and masculinity and (Greek) Ares association with being his family's embarrassment lead to his Priapus-like...anatomy. 

His helmet started off as a strange combination of a galea helmet and a handgun. His shape and cool scheme was inspired by hearts (mostly artistic renditions depicting them with blue veins)

Venus: Her (literal)fluid nature is both because beauty is subjective and depends on person to person so it made sense to make her shapeshifting...but also because in the most common story of her birth she was born from the seafoam that formed around castration of the personification of the sky Ouranos (ew...) and emerged fully formed from the water, hence why she's so..goopy and watery.

The black markings on her were initially inspired by the black “mask” on swans, symbol of love and beauty and are nasty birds, as well as Common Dolphins and marble.

She has a lot of different forms, but her one for Vulcan has no arms like the Venus de Milo, somewhat fits his artisan nature. Her form around Mars is based around the fact Aphrodite likely has origins as a war Goddess, maybe she likes Mars cause he keeps her closer to her roots.

Vulcan: Based very loosely off a crab, both because the disposition I gave him, as well as unevenly build arms (since he's a blacksmith). According to one source  he was associated with crabs and called “crab footed”, but I'm not sure if that was a source of inspiration I've forgotten about from years ago, or if it's a coincidence.

He is tripedal, both because the god has created wheeled auto-mobile tripods in mythology, and also because tripedal locomotion in animals and machines gives a limping gait. 

Mercury: Based off a tortoise since it's a symbol of the god and having a god associated with speed be a tortoise is kinda funny. Two mouths because he's the god of messages and a trickster. The feathery antenna and birdish look were based on Mercury’s  winged cap and sandals. Putting his eyes on his shell was a purely aesthetic decision but someone else asked if it was because he's a god in my setting who always backstabs and therefor has to watch his own back, which is better reasoning then what I had.

The rainbow color scheme was inspired by the other messager of Olympus, the Goddess and personification of rainbows Iris. The way the colors were arranged on him was inspired by parrots.

[godsofhumanity]

I adore your Titan HCs, do you have any for the younger generation?

*jotaro kujo voice* YES! YES! YES! YES!

❤ warning: long post ahead! ❤

PROMETHEUS

okay full disclaimer- Prometheus is my favourite titan <3

i imagine him to be that guy that you bring home to meet your parents and they instantly love him... he's the guy that other parents see and are like "yeah he's a good kid, you should be more like him".

i think Prometheus does have a little bit of a mischievous side, but he's NOT immoral.

he enjoys good pranks and funny jokes, but he's not obscene- he's just cheerful.

i also think Prometheus is very intelligent. from all of the younger generation, i think he's the smartest and the wisest.

Prometheus is also very considerate and gentle. i don't think he's the kind to yell or shout.

he doesn't get "angry" as much as he gets "disappointed" (which we all know is worse T-T).

during the Titanomachy, the original myths say that Prometheus sides with Zeus, but i wanted to elaborate on this further- my hc is that Prometheus didn’t just side with Zeus, he had, for some time before he even knew Zeus existed, been going around and rallying the other younger Titans to form a resistance.

i think that he grew up around Cronus’ palace and watched Cronus as he slowly corrupted himself, and Prometheus knew that it was time for change. 

so i think that Prometheus and a few of his cousins had a little superhero group going on, and when they finally met Zeus, i think Prometheus was essentially Zeus’ right-hand man. i don’t think they always saw eye-to-eye, but i think Zeus appreciated Prometheus’ advice and leadership skills, and this just makes the fire incident all the more tragic </3

about the fire incident- i think that Prometheus has a genuine love for humanity. to him, humans are the children of the gods and he believes that it's the gods’ responsibility to take care of them.

which is why he risks his life to grant humanity fire- he knows how important it is for them to survive, and his heart bleeds every time he sees the gods abuse and interfere with them </3

in a previous set of hc's (scroll down to the Cronus section), i mentioned that i think Prometheus' love for humanity began as a child when he saw Cronus create the first age of man- the Golden Age.

i think he was quite captivated by these living beings not born from the gods, but molded and shaped by them in their image. and i think that really impacted him deeply.

Prometheus' wife is Hesione, and i think that when Prometheus stole the fire from Zeus, he did it because he knew that Hesione is a strong goddess, and he knew that she'd support him (which i think she does!). i think his whole family shares his love for humanity.

when Prometheus was chained to the rock, i think Deucalion was still very small and didn't quite understand where his dad had gone, so i have this hc that when Deucalion grows up, he actually goes to the rock where his dad is chained and they talk it out- and Prometheus expects that Deucalion will be full of hate for him because he left them all alone, but in fact, Deucalion is a lot like Prometheus, and he actually really looks up to his dad and he’s proud to be Prometheus’ son, and he’s proud to help humanity the way his dad did :)))

more Prometheus hc's as well Atlas, Menoetius, Anchiale and Epimetheus hc's here <3

HELIOS

i think Helios is a bit of goofball.

in my head, he’s this incredibly handsome and elegant looking titan... he looks so cool and he’s turning heads when he walks.. but then he trips on the pavement because he got distracted looking at a frog on the sidewalk.

Helios is very kind, i think.

in the myths that he appears in, it’s usually because he’s seen something happening to someone somewhere and now someone else wants to know what’s up so they consult him- and it’s occurred to me that Helios literally never refuses to help.

he helps Demeter when Persephone went missing, he told Hephaestus when he saw Aphrodite and Ares having an affair. he helps his granddaughter, Medea, even after she commits a bunch of atrocities. i think at his core, he’s just a very amiable titan.

i think he does have a bit of an ego. he’s proud of who he is and who is family is. he knows that he’s important and that the work he does is important. but Helios isn’t arrogant or boastful about it. he values honour and despises cowardice.

Helios is very energetic. when he gets excited, i think he jumps around a lot and he just wants to tell everyone and anyone about what’s made him so excited.

in some myths, they say that Helios’ wife was Perse, an Oceanid, but my hc for him is that he doesn’t really have one wife- he has many consorts, and i think he doesn’t really care for settling down.

he’d think of himself as a romantic.

also, Helios is very paternal. i think he loves his children more than anything else in the world. he probably shows pictures of his kids to everyone, “hey have you seen my daughter? she literally just turned some guy’s friends into pigs,, isn’t she awesome? #prouddadmoment”

i don’t think that Helios is the brightest bulb in the shed. he’s not stupid, but i don’t think he’s an intellectual genius the way i’d say Prometheus probably is.

in the previous section, i mentioned the idea that the younger titans had a little resistance group, and i think Helios was a part of this group.

i have this brotp idea that consists of Prometheus, Helios and Pallas being bros. i think Prometheus brings the brains, Helios brings the looks, and Pallas brings the brawn.

i’ve always wondered why the younger titans never seem to have that much of a role in Olympus- i mean, it’s always Zeus and his siblings, despite the other titans being quite powerful (i mean, Helios is literally the Sun). my hc for this is that after Prometheus was so brutally punished by Zeus for the fire incident, everyone was pretty hurt- i mean, they were closer to Prometheus than to Zeus, so seeing him being punished like that was just extremely sad and heartbreaking for the rest of the titans.

i think as a result of the incident, the rest of the titans kinda distanced themselves from Olympus. no one wanted to be there anymore because it felt wrong.

i like the idea that Helios visits Prometheus at his rock often, and they sit and chat and Helios tells him about everything that’s happening :)

SELENE

i think that Selene is the eldest of Hyperion’s children. first came Selene, then Eos, and then Helios- the moon is followed by the dawn which heralds the coming of the sun and the start of a new day.

Selene is very tall. i imagine her to look very beautiful, but also very intimidating.

while her siblings are described as having numerous lovers, i don’t think Selene is much of a romantic. the only love of her life was the mortal Endymion.

i think Selene is very guarded. she comes across to people who don’t know her as cold and aloof, but that couldn’t be further from the truth- in fact, i think Selene is very emotional, but she’s not vocal about it.

she expresses her feelings through actions rather than words.

just as i think Helios was part of Prometheus’ little resistance force, i think Selene and Eos were as well.

as siblings, i think Selene, Eos and Helios are super close- they are quite inseparable. they’re all very protective of each other as well, and they’d defend each other at any cost.

EOS

Eos is the middle child in Hyperion’s family.

i think she’s very energetic and passionate. she’s incredibly friendly and not-shy.

as the goddess of dawn, i think she generally is a pretty gentle soul, but she can also be very loud.

i think she has more than a short temper- it’s a fleeting temper. she’ll start yelling and screaming, but then she’ll see a butterfly and she’ll calm down immediately.

Eos is also a little whimsical. she can be indecisive about what she wants or what she feels- that’s not to say that she’s deceiving. i don’t think she has a deceptive bone in her body- she always says what she’s thinking, maybe sometimes without a filter.

but even so, i don’t think Eos plans ahead. she’s a live-in-the-moment type of girl. 

in the Eos-Tithonus myth, when Tithonus starts to age because Eos forgot to gift him eternal youthfulness to go with his immortality, Eos takes pity on the poor guy and turns him into a cicada- and even though it was kinda Eos’ fault that Tithonus was suffering from old age to begin with, i think it was a kind gesture that she relieved his suffering, rather than just ignoring him.

related to cicadas- i think Eos love bugs and critters and stuff like that. she loves all animals, and that includes little insects.

there’s a myth where Eos sleeps with Ares and incurs Aphrodite’s wrath- Aphrodite punishes her to be filled with insatiable lust and that’s why Eos kidnaps a lot of pretty boys. but tbh, i like the idea that Eos, at her core, is just naturally a lover.

i think she’s a bit of romantic, and she falls in love easily.

i think she appreciates typical romantic sentiments- roses, and chocolate.

of course, i think her greatest love is Astraeus, her husband (more about him below ^-^).

more Eos hc's here :D

PALLAS

Pallas is one of the titans who doesn't really have too much lore.

the Latin author Hyginus calls Pallas "the giant", and he was assumed to be the titan god of warcraft, so this makes me imagine Pallas to be decently tall, and muscular.

Pallas in my head is pretty stoic. i don't think he's all that verbal with his emotions.

in saying this, i don't think he's averse to saying what he feels- he doesn't think that emotions are a bad thing, he just doesn't express it too much.

earlier in this hc set, i mentioned my hc that Prometheus, Helios and Pallas have a brotp. i think that Prometheus and Pallas, in particular, are really close- Pallas is the son of Crius who was thrown into Tartarus for siding with Cronus, so i imagine that Pallas and his brothers must have grown up with Prometheus and his siblings.

related to his domain of warcraft, i think Pallas is a really good fighter. i think he likes to fight, but he's very honourable.

if he lost in a fight, i don't think he'd be a sore loser, or he'd rage about it- he'd accept his defeat with grace and dignity, and he'd acknowledge the strength of his opponent.

in my previous set of hc's for the elder titans (scroll down to Eurybia's section), i mentioned that although Pallas likely would have sided with Cronus rather than Zeus during the Titanomachy in the original myths, my hc is that Pallas sided with Zeus instead.

this ties in with my hc that Pallas is an honourable and noble titan.

Pallas' wife is Styx and i have this hc that while on a hunt, Pallas went to wash his bloody weapons in Styx's river, not realising that she was there. and Styx was really mad about him "polluting" her river so they fought. and i think Pallas was really impressed by her fighting skills, and eventually they became friends, and then lovers, and then they got married.

i also think Pallas was really lackadaisical about it- i mean, i don't think he's a romantic at all. he just looked at Styx one day and was like, "hey do you want to get married?", and Styx, who is also generally pretty chill agreed <3 i think they are probably the most chill couple from the younger titans.

PERSES

my hc is that Perses is the middle child in Crius and Eurybia's family. Pallas is the oldest, and Astraeus is the youngest.

i think Perses, from all his siblings, is the most like Crius.

he's very intelligent, and sensible. he's quite mature.

Perses' name means "to ravage" or "to destroy" which paints a pretty brutal idea of him. but i personally don't think that Perses is violent as much as he is a strategic and skilled fighter.

i like the idea that Pallas taught Perses to fight <3

i think he's a little colder than his siblings, and i think he has blind loyalty to his king, which is why i agree with the traditional lore that suggests that Perses ended up in Tartarus after the Titanomachy.

in the previous set of hc's (scroll down to Eurybia's section), i mentioned that i think Eurybia has moments where she can fly into quite a ruthless rage- i think Perses inherits this from his mum.

on Perses' wikipedia page, it says that he "was wed to Asteria", which, when i first read it, sounded pretty cold and aloof. i mean, it didn't say that Asteria was his consort, or his wife (which sounds more intimate and familiar), it just says that he was wed (which sounds like it's just something that *happened*)...

what i'm trying to say, is that i don't think Asteria and Perses had a love marriage- i think it was probably arranged.

that's not necessarily a bad thing. i think Perses and Asteria both agreed to it, and i think that for the most part of their marriage, though they may have not been in love with each other, they were certainly quite content to be together.

Perses, though he can seem indifferent to those around him, is still kind. i think he's very patient, and respectful.

i've said before that i like the idea of having Hecate's magic something that Hecate inherited from Perses' side and Asteria's- i think Coeus (Asteria's father) was pretty nifty at magic as was Crius (Perses' father), and i think Perses and Asteria both inherited this and passed it on to Hecate.

ASTRAEUS

Astraeus is referred to as the titan god of the dusk, and he was also associated with the winds and the constellations.

my hc is that, unlike his older brothers, Astraeus is a lot more in touch with his emotions. i think he's quite vocal about it.

in terms of personality, i think Astraeus closely resembles his mum, Eurybia.

more often than not, he's always smiling and laughing, and being positive.

i also think that Astraeus is a gooey romantic. he's the cheesy type.. the cringey lover.

Astraeus' wife is Eos, which makes a lot of sense thematically since Astraeus represents dusk, and Eos represents dawn.

i have a hc that Astraeus fell in love with Eos the first time he saw her- love at first sight. and i think Eos felt the same way.

because Eos represents the dawn, i imagine that she's an early riser.. i mean, really really early- 3 AM. Astraeus meanwhile, who represents the dusk, is a little bit of a late riser.

i have this hc that Eos stopped by his house at some obscene time in the morning and woke him up so that he could ride with her in her chariot and witness the sunrise the way she sees it, and it was the most beautiful thing Astraeus had ever seen (besides Eos of course <3).

anyways, then they got married and sickened everyone to death with their cringey nicknames for each other.

in the original myths, it's mentioned that Eos had many lovers on the side, but i think Astraeus is okay with it- i don't think he feels threatened by Eos' affairs because he's knows that he's the only true one.

also, i'm not sure whether Astraeus was originally sent to Tartarus, but my hc is that he fought on Zeus' side through Prometheus' little super-titan resistance team. this makes sense to me not simply because i like Astraeus and i don't want him to rot in Tartarus, but as the god of the dusk, he has a pretty important role as a personified concept. so it doesn't make sense why he would get removed from the narrative like that.

ASTERIA

Asteria is best known as being the mother of Hecate by Perses.

as i've already said, i think that Asteria was quite proficient with magic herself, and i like the idea that she taught Hecate.

in terms of personality, i imagine Asteria to be very clever, and witty. i think she's very gracious and patient. i don't think that Asteria is much of a fighter- she doesn't like violence or conflict, but she hates injustice more, and she is willing to make reasonable sacrifices if the cause is just.

my hc is that she is close to her cousin Prometheus. i think they get along very well because they have similar personalities. i also like the idea of her being good friends with Hesione, who becomes Prometheus' wife.

during the Titanomachy, she almost definitely sided with Zeus in the original myths, and i agree with that idea.

after the war, the myths say that Zeus pursued Asteria as well as her sister Leto, but Asteria rejected his advances. in most myths, Zeus' unrelenting pursuit of her ends with Asteria escaping from him by transforming into the island which becomes known as Delos.

i like the idea of Asteria becoming Delos which, as we know, becomes the refuge of Leto when she gives birth to Apollo and Artemis. i like the idea of family always finding away to provide support, BUT i don't like the aspect of Zeus as a forceful and insatiable god.

so my hc is that while Zeus did chase after Asteria, i think Delos had already been created by Asteria previously as a place for her to raise Hecate, and when Asteria returned to that place, i think Zeus knew that it wasn't happening and he gracefully gave up.

i mentioned in Perses' hc's that i think Asteria and Perses had an arranged marriage. i think their marriage was interrupted by the Titanomachy, and although Asteria took Zeus' side, i think Perses took Cronus' side- which definitely led to a little conflict within their family.

my hc is that Asteria already knew that she was pregnant with Hecate during the Titanomachy and she wanted a better life for her daughter which is why she fought alongside Zeus, and i think she also knew that Perses wouldn't fight against Cronus- so she had to choose between her child and her husband, and she chose her child.

after Olympus gets established, i think Asteria and Leto live on Delos together, happily retired, the way they deserve <3

LETO

i've actually already done a few Leto hc's here so i won't repeat them :)

[kadavernagh]

Big Feats || Regan & Cass

TIMING: Current. LOCATION: In the woods of the Outskirts. PARTIES: @stolensiren and @kadavernagh SUMMARY: Regan and Cass become aspiring cryptozoologists (well, okay, mostly Cass) as they investigate an interesting rumor!   CONTENT: Allusions to animal death.

Bigfoot. Right. This town lost more of its sanity every day. Regan normally wouldn’t even have bothered chasing after some rumor, except this one happened to involve a sighting close to her cabin. Whatever was out there, she knew it wasn’t Bigfoot, but it seemed prudent enough to investigate. Besides, she hated the idea of some “cryptozoologists” lurking about where she was training. Who knew what else they would catch on camera? With that haunting thought, she double checked that her necklace was securely fastened. Good. 

The woods were quiet, other than the crunching of the leaves under her boots. They always were around here, minus her screams. Animals knew better than to linger. That made it all the more curious that something strange was seen nearby. Probably a bear; they stood upright. Maybe this one was deaf. Or -- there it was. A dark shape, a shadow, out of the corner of her eye. Regan squinted, and it quickly became clear she was looking at a human, not some woodland creature. Was someone else out here searching for the same thing she was? Surely their reason was less sane. “Hello?” She called out, now triple checking her necklace. “What are you doing out here? It’s not safe. Not because of Bigfoot, mind you.”

There was a Bigfoot in the woods. Cass was practically vibrating with excitement as she trudged through the leaves, looking high or low to catch sight of the thing. She wasn’t stupid, of course. She knew that there was probably some kind of explanation for this, knew that the explanation was likely supernatural given everything she’d learned about White Crest, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t some… anticipation related to the whole thing. So far, every supernatural thing she’d stumbled upon had been accidental. If she could find one on purpose, maybe it would help better prepare her to be the best vigilante she could be.

Plus, it was a Bigfoot. She had to know more about that.

She’d been walking around in circles for close to half an hour now, eyes peeled and heart pounding in a mixture of excitement and anxiety. It occurred to her that it was probably not the best idea to run in unaccompanied and without any real idea what she was up against, but Cass had never been one to adhere to things like foresight. When she heard footsteps approaching, she paused and tilted her head, deflating a little when she realized they were far too light to be anything but human. (Or… human adjacent, maybe. But definitely not a Bigfoot.) Turning towards the sound, she caught sight of the silhouette of a human-looking woman, the suspicion confirmed when the woman called out. Suddenly, she felt a little hesitant to share her true intentions. “Uh… hiking?” It was an obvious lie. Nothing about Cass’s outfit said hiker, and nothing about this particular patch of woods might appeal to someone who was interested in such a thing. Cass made a face, cursing her inability to think on her feet under pressure but unwilling to turn back on the claim. “Yeah. Hiking. Is there a Bigfoot around here? Wow, I had no idea. Have you seen it?”

Hiking? Regan scanned the visibly nervous subadult from head to toe, frowning at the obvious lie. Not that she was surprised. The stench of deception still soured the crisp autumn air. “There are no hiking trails here, first of all. Secondly, don’t lie to me. I live near here. I am owed the truth about what you’re doing.” The truth did come out, though, sort of. It was still wrapped up in a lie, but Regan could measure out the lack of genuine surprise in the girl’s voice when she said the word Bigfoot. She leaned her head back, exhaling a long sigh, before meeting her eyes again. “Cut the feces. You’re out here because of the rumors, aren’t you? It’s useless. People in this town too readily see with their imagination instead of their eyes.” She looked around briefly, affirming that they were alone, “I’m investigating. Not looking for Bigfoot. Investigating. I want to know what those crypto-whatevers actually saw, because it wasn’t a mythological ape.” 

A skittering of dead leaves behind her made her spine stiffen. She whipped around, seeing only a squirrel dart across the narrow path from one tree to another. Regan’s shoulders sank with relief, though she tried not to let the child see it. “Look. It was probably just a squirrel. I realize that sounds ludicrous, but this is a town where people believe in unicorns and elves.” Among other things, Regan muttered. “I don’t particularly want you near me, but I also don’t want you to get lost out here. You may investigate with me, if you wish. Quietly. And don’t come back here later.”

When she was running a con, Cass was a hell of a liar. She could twist things exactly the way she needed them to be, twist herself into exactly what she needed to be, too. But she wasn’t running a con right now. Right now, she was in the woods looking for what might end up being a bear, trying to trick a stranger into thinking she was just there. And in this situation? Her lies were less than stellar. “Okay,” she said, “I might be looking for Bigfoot. I’m just a big fan of his work. I brought my autograph book and everything.” It was a truth soaked in sarcasm, something Cass tended to be pretty good at. Something told her the woman in front of her now might not entirely appreciate it. “He’s not an ape, by the way. Bigfoot, I mean. He’s a sasquatch. It’s technically an ape-like creature, but… humans are also kind of ape-like creatures, and we get mad when people call us apes.” So she’d done some googling on supernatural phenomenon. Sue her. It wasn’t like the information wouldn’t come in handy in White Crest.

Cass’s head snapped towards the sound of crunching leaves, only for her shoulders to sag slightly as a squirrel darted across the forest. Whatever was out here, she wanted to see the real deal. “I saw the photo. It was way too big to be a squirrel. Unless you have a lot of ridiculously large squirrels in your woods here?” She raised a brow, electing not to mention that she knew there were things in this town that made elves and unicorns seem a lot less crazy. She didn’t want to lose all credibility here. If she had any to begin with. When the woman offered to let her tag along on her ‘investigation,’ Cass grinned. “I won’t have to come back later if we find the Bigfoot. But yeah, sure. I can be quiet.” She could try, at least. 

“His work?” Regan’s face scrunched up. What on earth was this child talking about? She supposed it didn’t matter, as long as she could keep the young troublemaker from inadvertently seeking out her own death instead of Bigfoot. “Humans are apes, there’s no kind of about it. I don’t know what a sasquatch is nor where it sits on our shared phylogenetic tree, but I’m willing to concede you likely know more than me about Bigfoot. Not that it exists. I’m referring to the… mythology, or whatever you prefer to call it.” Regan shook her head as if she could clear it of this nonsense. She was already regretting the offer she extended to let the child tag along. “Perhaps it’s a case of forced perspective. The squirrel was sitting right next to the camera.” Okay, even she didn’t think that was true. A bear was more likely. “I haven’t seen a large squirrel. I’ve seen other large animals, though. Enormous moose. People say they scream.” People said that; she, however, couldn’t force the lie on her tongue. It was convenient that the moose were blamed for her aural assault on these woods. “Anyways, since I think it’s too late for me to rescind my offer, I might as well ask for your n-- no, I mean, what is your name?” That was too close. Deirdre would have been aghast. “I mentioned that I live near here. I spend a lot of time in these woods. And I recognized the background on the photo that was shared out; I know where that camera was positioned. Shall we start there?”

“You know,” Cass replied with a vague gesture, “making dudes look like idiots. Having entire television shows dedicated to him without ever showing up to film. Grunting in the woods all the time. His work.” She kept a straight face through the explanation, though she had a feeling her sarcasm might be a little wasted here. “Maybe sasquatches are the missing link.” She couldn’t help but grin at the woman conceding to her Bigfoot knowledge, feeling accomplished in spite of herself. “Bigfoot could be real. Just because you’ve never seen him doesn’t mean he isn’t out there. Watching. Waiting. Eating leaves.” She snorted, shaking her head. “Come on. I know you don’t think that.” At the mention of large, screaming moose, Cass perked up a little. “Really? What do they sound like?” Cass jumped up to walk on a fallen branch, balancing on the limb like a tightrope. “Cass,” she replied. “How about you?” The woman offered to share her inside information, and Cass’s grin widened. “Oh, hell yeah. Lead the way!”

“The screaming moose?” Regan hesitated, not liking that Cass had stood a little taller, seemed a little more engaged, when she’d mentioned them. It had probably been a mistake to bring them up at all. They didn’t exist. “They… well, the sound attributed to them is…” She twisted her lips in thought. To most, screams like hers were perhaps the worst sound in the world, and could literally cause eardrum rupture or worse, but when she had trained with Deirdre, had heard her screams, they had an eerie kind of beauty to them. The humans can’t appreciate it, Deirdre had said. It was true. “Mournful,” she landed on, “some say it sounds mournful. Ear-splitting, keening wails.” She waved the thought away with a hand, eager to change the subject, and hoping the subadult would allow it. Or Cass. Regan finally had a name for this annoying companion now. “I’m Dr. Kavanagh. Regan suffices. Why don’t you tell me more about whether or not you truly believe Bigfoot exists. Judging by the way you described his work, I am not sure what you expect us to find… or not find. Watch your step.” Regan stepped over a series of roots bulging from the earth -- she could never figure out the tree these ones were actually attached to. “We’re not far. You should keep your voice down soon, as we approach, so we don’t scare any animals nearby. Not that I expect there are many. Animals generally stay away from these woods.”

Mournful. Cass digested the word for a moment, nodding her head. “Makes sense,” she decided. “I mean, we’re kind of fucking up their environment, aren’t we?” She wouldn’t be surprised if all animals would sound ‘mournful’ if they could speak, if they could scream. Humans kind of had that effect on everything they touched, after all. Cass’s grin found itself back in place at the introduction, and she nodded. “Regan,” she agreed. Dr. Kavanagh was a bit formal for someone you were wandering the woods with in search of Bigfoot. (Or, in Regan’s case, in search of something that must have been mistaken as Bigfoot.) Stepping over the branches, Cass shrugged. “I don’t know what I expect to find,” she admitted. “And honestly, I don’t know if I actually believe in the Bigfoot shit. I just… I know there’s weird stuff going on in this town. I guess I’m after answers.” Whatever that meant. Nodding, Cass mimed zipping her lips shut and followed Regan, curiosity keeping a spring in her step.

Makes sense? Regan lifted a brow, but didn’t ask how any of what she had said could possibly make sense. Cass clearly fit right in with the rest of the town if she thought screaming moose made sense. It was to Regan’s benefit, anyways, since she wasn’t wanting to be trapped into telling the truth about any of this. “I don’t know what you expect to find either. But I don’t think you’ll like it, whatever it is. Looking too closely might even kill you. It has killed others.” But, in a way, so had not looking closely enough. 

Regan hopped over the stream that snaked through this area at its thinnest point, and gestured for Cass to do the same. It was nearly dried up this time of year, but it would eventually swell with snow melt. They were close now, and Regan’s ears were pricked for noise that didn’t come from the two of them. “Don’t mime,” she whispered, “trust me on that one.” There it was: a heavy baying that echoed through the trees. As it turned out, it wasn’t a sound she needed to focus to be able to hear. Oooom oooom. Regan froze mid-step. “What was-- that wasn’t--” A banshee. That wasn’t a banshee. Not that she expected to hear one -- she was accounted for, and Deirdre wasn’t even in the country anymore. But she’d never heard this noise around here. Ooooom ooooooooooom. Did that one sound closer? Regan turned to Cass, eyes wide. “I don’t know what made that sound.” She paused, realizing what Cass might think she was implying. “And it’s not Bigfoot.”

“I’m pretty sure everything in this town is trying to kill me,” Cass snorted. “I might as well have fun with it.” It was probably not the best philosophy to have, but since her discovery of the supernatural, she’d been playing things… pretty loose. It was ranging on existential crisis territory just a little, but who could blame her? Her favorite shirt had been ruined by vampire dust, and she still had stitches in her leg from a fight with a giant slug thing that wanted to eat someone for doing magic. 

Following close behind Regan, Cass took a moment to admire the serene beauty of the forest. She could understand why Regan lived out here, why she enjoyed the solitude. Cass had always needed to be around people in order to feel energized, but this… It didn’t seem quite so bad. “What’s wrong with miming? Does Bigfoot not like it?” Her promise of silence didn’t last particularly long, but she had a feeling Regan wasn’t expecting it to, anyway. Especially not when a sound cut through the quiet. Cass’s eyes went wide and she blinked, looking to Regan. A grin spread quickly across her face when the other woman said she didn’t know what the sound was, the expression faltering only slightly when she amended that it wasn’t Bigfoot. “It could be,” Cass pointed out. “You just said you don’t know. Do you know what a Bigfoot sounds like? It could sound like that.” She took a few steps forward, moving towards the noise. “Come on! We need to investigate.” 

“No one likes miming,” Regan explained in a non-explanatory fashion, not wanting to encourage further comments or questioning from Cass. She really was a talkative one. OoooOOOooom. Another bellow, and this one was definitely closer. Regan turned to Cass, snapping as harshly as a branch underfoot, “It’s not Bigfoot. I don’t know what it is, but you need to grow up for a minute, because there’s a decent chance whatever is making that noise is dangerous. You don’t know what’s out here.” She wasn’t even sure she did. At first, when she’d settled into the cabin, before training really picked up, these woods were teeming with wildlife. There were the usual birds and rabbits and deer, but also some oddities -- moose that grew to be the size of cars, strange and hairless bears, squirrels that carried around human fingers. All of them with unusual capacity and eagerness to cause harm. Kaden had his names for them, but Regan had different ones. As Cass went toward the booming call, Regan reached out to yank at her arm, then immediately thought better of it. Touch was still… challenging. She could feel skin and muscle all the same, whether on a human or on a deer that her scream tore through, and the reminder was sickening. As another ooooooom blasted through the woods, enough to make her feet vibrate, Regan paled with the realization that this thing would find them, before they could find it. She turned to Cass, expression sharp and serious, “I think we should hide. Especially you. Quickly.”

“I like miming,” Cass replied instantly, mostly just to be contrary. In truth, she didn’t have a strong opinion one way or another on miming. Until just a few moments ago, she thought that was the norm. She might have said more (she was very good at saying more), but the strange bellowing sound did a fairly effective job of silencing her. “I know how to take care of myself,” she snapped back, anger a brief flame in her chest. It died down quickly enough, replaced by a mixture of curiosity and something else. She wasn’t sure how to describe it, really — she felt… touched, in a way, that Regan seemed to care enough to not want her to be eaten by whatever was wandering the woods. The concern was unfamiliar. But the frustration was not. “I don’t want to hide,” Cass complained. “And I meant what I said. I appreciate you wanting to watch my back or whatever, but it really isn’t necessary. I can look out for myself.” Another bellowing cry had her hesitant, and she shifted her weight. “But… maybe we could watch Bigfoot just as well from behind a tree or something.”

“I don’t care what you want,” Regan said coolly, aiming a chilly glance at Cass, “do you know how many bodies I’ve found in these woods? I’ve seen too many dead adolescents.” The next ooooom that shook the leaves from the trees seemed to change Cass’s mind, though -- even if only a little. Hiding behind a tree didn’t sound particularly effective, but out here, it was probably the best they had, short of making a beeline back for the cabin. If her estimate was correct, that was a couple miles away, and not a feasible option. So tree it was. Regan nodded, glancing around for one with a thicker trunk. “Don’t you think it would allow us to more valuable examination of natural behaviors? Of whatever we find. Which will not be Bigfoot.” Too skinny, too short, too about-to-fall over… were there any suitable trees? But the next ooooooom sounded like it came from right nearb-- before Regan could process how close the sound was, a tall, lumbering shadow swayed toward Cass. Plucking her up like the child she was, the beast grabbed Cass in its long, powerful arms and put its large mouth to her head as it attempted to slurp up her hair like spaghetti, a soft ooooomoooomom streaming from its lips. 

The words chipped Cass’s proverbial armor in a way nothing else had so far, causing her to falter just a little. “You’ve really found bodies out here?” There was a hint of fear to her voice, making her sound — and feel — younger than she had throughout the entire interaction so far. She’d seen plenty of terrible things throughout her short life, seen the abuse and violence and addiction that ran rampant throughout the foster system and seen it all magnified when she’d been living on the streets, but the closest she’d ever come to what Regan was speaking of now had been Metzli slaying the vampire that attacked them in the woods. And even that hadn’t left a body behind �� only ash and questions. The somber change of pace didn’t last long, of course; with the creature’s bellowing coming ever closer, it was impossible to keep hold of anything but the pounding in her chest. “It could be Bigfoot,” she insisted, though there was a tightness to her tone that hadn’t been there before. Cass glanced through the woods, looking for a tree to hide behind… only for her eyes to land on something else instead. “What the fu—” Her thought was left unfinished as the creature scooped her up and began… chewing her hair? Cass let out a surprised yelp, shoving desperately against its grip. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Please don’t let Bigfoot eat me!”

Regan winced as she watched the creature’s lips suction themselves even tighter around Cass’s head. The early stirrings of a reactionary scream swirled in her lungs, but she tamped down on her fear, Deirdre’s words loud in her head, and it melted away. But… that still left Cass, struggling to get out of that thing’s hairy grasp. Regan itched to run to her assistance. She wished she could have been the type of someone who would just walk away in a situation like this. What did she owe to Cass, anyway? But it was a waste of time to humor that thought when she knew she would step in, anyway, despite spending the last year trying to pound that part of herself to dust. 

“Cass!” Regan called out, scanning the ground by her feet for something she could use, “Um, hang in there! Does it have sharp teeth? Is it hurting you?” Probably a stupid question, and she wasn’t really expecting a response. Not before -- there, she could use that. Her eyes alighted on a long stick. Maybe they could scare this thing away. Without arming Cass with a warning, she snatched one up and charged at the not-Bigfoot, giving it a harsh whack on the flank.

This was such a stupid way to die. It was ridiculous, really, that after everything, it was this that was going to kill her. Not the years she’d spent living on the streets, not the vigilantism, not even her smart mouth. No, it was going to be a Bigfoot eating her hair that took Cass out. “I don’t want to think about its teeth,” she screamed in response to Regan’s question, flailing in the beast’s grip. She wasn’t paying much attention to Regan — or to anything besides the giant Bigfoot monster — so she didn’t see the stick coming until it was whacking the side of the creature holding her. Surprisingly, the whack seemed effective. The beast dropped Cass, turning its attention instead to Regan. Cass yelped, stumbling backwards. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” she yelled, eyes wide. “Regan, head’s up!” The Bigfoot was hurtling towards the doctor before the words even left Cass’s lips. 

Did it work? A loud ooooom offered confirmation of some sort, but to her ears, which were trained only by what she’d spent countless hours butchering in the woods, it sounded more aggravated than hurt. Regan tried to swallow her fear -- it was not allowed -- and forced her face up to stare their assailant in the face. Two round, bright glowing eyes peered down at her from behind a curtain of long, shaggy hair. They seemed almost human as they flared with anger. Oh, Krebs. Did it at least let Cass go? Regan hopped back, wanting to distance herself from the creature either way, just as Cass landed on the ground with a thud. The stick drooped lamely in her hand as she took in the beast -- or human on stilts in a furry ape costume -- or whatever it was. 

Studying it for longer wasn’t an option as it charged forward, all 300-something pounds of it, long arms pinwheeling and fingers grasping in her direction. Her wings twitched to be used under their glamour as self-preservation kicked in, but that wasn’t an option, and she knew she couldn’t just leave Cass here alone, as much as Deirdre’s voice droned in her head that she ought to. Cass’s heads up -- even after the trauma of having her hair chewed up by a walking trichobezoar -- would have been almost touching under other circumstances. She knew what she needed to do, though. A scream won’t wait until you are ready. Instead of running, Regan held her ground. Don’t shake. Don’t turn away. Don’t flinch. It’s unbecoming. She could feel the ground shake as its massive feet slapped against the earth, closer and closer. “Cass, cover your ears!” She shouted, only seconds before darkness bloomed inside of her lungs and exploded up her trachea, crescendo-ing in a bone-rattling wail.

Regan wasn’t running. There was a Bigfoot-like creature with a taste for human hair hurtling towards her so quickly that Cass was having a hard time tracking it, and Regan wasn’t running. Cass wanted to scream, wanted to jump into action, wanted to help, but she was frozen in place with her hands trembling and her legs unsteady because the thing had had her in its grasp not two minutes ago and Cass was trying really hard to be good at this vigilante thing but there were some thing she hadn’t yet learned to weather and there were some concepts she still couldn’t understand.

She thought she probably would have run, if it were her. If the thing had come at Regan first and Cass after, she thought she would have made a fucking break for it, tripping over foliage and crunching leaves beneath her feet, and she couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out why Regan wasn’t. Frozen with fear, maybe, or intent on offering Cass whatever protection she could against a thing Cass didn’t think either of them stood much of a chance against. It was probably nice. It was definitely stupid.

Regan was yelling at her, and Cass wasn’t sure why she’d need to cover her ears but she lifted her hands to the side of her head hesitantly, anyway, went to cup them around her ears in a way that was too slow to mean anything because before they made it to their target destination, Regan was screaming. Regan was screaming and the woods were shaking and the monster was letting out an inhuman shriek and stumbling away and Cass was watching, wide-eyed, as the world seemed to bend to Regan’s voice.

Totally Black Canary, she thought, wide-eyed. Or Siryn. Or Songbird.

The creature, the Bigfoot that Regan would probably insist was not a Bigfoot, ran back into the woods, seeming to want to put as much distance between itself and the wail as possible. Cass couldn’t imagine why. That was fucking awesome. She rushed forward, towards Regan. “Oh my god! That was so cool! You totally Dinah Lance’d him! How did you do that?”

The ooooms didn’t sound like ooooms anymore. Regan could partially register the creature’s horrific, pained cry, like those of the stray cats she’d torn apart, sounding beneath her own. She could no longer find it in her to care that this dangerous, non-human animal was in pain because of her – not when it would have harmed or killed them. She wasn’t sure when that had happened, when she’d stopped caring. Perhaps after the fifth turkey, or third fawn. What mattered now was effectiveness, and the scream seemed to be working. The mass of hair and limbs attempted to clamber away, but was clearly stunned and disoriented, or paralyzed by fear. Should she pursue it? Regan stood tall, watching it struggle backwards. It wouldn’t be hard. It was hurt. It would have been easy to take its locks in her fists and show it one final scream, so it could never harm anyone else again. But part of her still recognized the border between self-defense and cruelty, and she wasn’t willing to cross it.

Deirdre would have. The thought filtered through her head and fell into her mouth like ash. What was one more failure? Inexcusable, she knew the answer. It didn’t matter right now. She knew she was weak. She would answer for it later. Regan watched the thing descend back into the forest, not taking her eyes off of it until it slinked out of sight.

She turned to Cass, expecting to need to peel her off the ground, but there she was, just standing and staring. And then, faster than she could draw a breath, Cass charged her. Regan hopped back, expecting her wings to catch her, but they weren’t there, and instead she tripped. Why did Cass need to be warded off instead of brought to a hospital? “I– you– what?” She blinked, trying to follow Cass’s frenzied excitement. “I didn’t lance anything. I– no, it wasn’t cool. It’s not supposed to be cool. How are you not– I mean, not that I wanted to hurt you, but you’re not– you’re okay?” Regan’s brow screwed together as she examined Cass’s head as best she could from a distance. No blood trickling from her ears. No sense that she seemed dizzied or in pain. “You’re– how did you do that?”

It was exciting. Cass liked to tell anyone who would listen that she had superpowers, but Regan actually did. She didn’t seem particularly shocked by the encounter, which meant she must have known it was something she was capable of. Cass had about a billion questions, but she didn’t know how to ask any of them without coming off as rude or annoying, so she settled for another ecstatic squeal instead. The creature was gone now, and Cass had lost interest in it the moment Regan screamed, anyway. She had more important things to focus on now.

“No, not lance. Dinah Lance. She’s a superhero. The Black Canary. She’s got this power called a Canary Cry, and it’s… probably not important right now. I’ll lend you some books later. It’s whatever.” As if she weren’t practically vibrating with excitement here, eyes wide and mouth split into a wide grin. She was too excited, perhaps, to note the way Regan backed up when she ran towards her, to notice the surprise on her face. The last thing Cass wanted to do was freak someone else out, especially someone who seemed really cool, superpowers or no. It was only when Regan stumbled that Cass realized her sudden movements might be a little much after all that, and she backed up a little with her hands raised in some mixture of apology and surrender.

Her expression turned to one of confusion as Regan questioned her in return, shrugging a shoulder. “What, because he grabbed me? He didn’t really do much of anything — I think he just wanted to eat my hair. Which, gross, but I’m not hurt.” The confusion deepened when Regan asked how she’d done that, and Cass racked her mind trying to remember what she’d done. She came up entirely blank. “How’d I do… what? I just stood there. I was actually pretty useless. You’re the one who saved our asses. Shit, are you okay?”

“A superhero?” Regan scowled, not comprehending why Cass even brought such a thing up. There was nothing heroic about what she had just done. In fact, it had put Cass at risk. That she seemed unharmed was a confusing stroke of luck, but things easily could have been much worse. Why did Cass look electrified? Well, there was an obvious answer. Regan straightened herself up, steady on her feet again. She fixed the collar on her turtleneck, which had unfurled in parts at some point. “I believe the adrenaline rush from the attack has you… acting strangely, overly enthusiastic. There is nothing to be excited about. You were hurt. And then you could have been hurt again, by me. I–” Right, she was hurt. “What did that… bear do to you, anyway?” She looked closely at Cass’s head, trying to find where the creature had stuck its mouth to her scalp. Her hair… well, it certainly looked disheveled. “I am a doctor. I can assist if need be.” Though in truth, she felt as though she had done enough, and any more than that would increase the potential for harm.

But the encounter with not-Bigfoot-the-bear seemed like the last thing on Cass’s mind. Regan paced, looking down at eerily human footprints in the dirt that led away from the two of them and into a thick copse of trees, the same one the creature had rushed into. They did not resemble bear paw prints, even a little. She chose to file that information away in a mental garbage bin. “It didn’t hurt you,” Regan clarified, finally looking back up at Cass. Her eyes still danced with too much light for the situation they were just in. “The scream. I don’t understand how it –” She shook her head, not wanting to get into it. Not with a child. Not with anyone other than her absent mentor. What did it mean? Was she suddenly safe to be around, able to wield the scream with as much control as any blade? Could that be possible? “I am fine. I may need to alert the authorities about the dangerous animal out here. Perhaps they’ll be able to prevent those cryptozoologists from wandering about.” She sighed into the cold air. “That would be… nice. I can show you out of the woods.”

Regan seemed to have no interest in heroism, and Cass tried not to let her disappointment show. Just because someone had powers didn’t mean they had to use them. Spider-Man might have phrases about great responsibility, but it was each individual’s personal choice what they did with their abilities. Cass understood that.

Still. Having a Black Canary around White Crest would have been really cool.

“It’s not adrenaline,” she complained, even though she could absolutely feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins. It was, she suspected, at least a little bit adrenaline. “I’m just excited! That was really cool, what you did with the scream. It didn’t hurt me. It kind of saved my ass.” Bringing a hand up to her hair, Cass made a face. “I’m pretty sure it tried to eat my hair. It was pretty gross, but I think the worst I’m gonna walk away with here is a serious headache.” And a desire to wash her hair, like, a billion times. 

Cass furrowed her brow, tilting her head in an attempt to unpack Regan’s confusion. “Yeah, because you weren’t trying to hurt me. Right?” Wasn’t that how it worked? In the comics, it was all about intentions. Regan intended to scare off the Bigfoot, and she had. Why did it seem like things weren’t quite that straightforward here? “The Bigfoot,” she confirmed, mostly to be irritating. She flashed Regan a grin to tell her as much, though she wasn’t sure the gesture would be beneficial. Her smile softened at Regan’s offer, and she nodded her head. “Sure,” she agreed. “Lead the way, Black Canary.” 

[fangirlingincamouflage]

Blind Hope: Chapter 7

Title: Blind Hope Author: Rosie Dayze Word Count: 1,232 Pairing: Nick Jakoby x Reader Chapter Rating: PG-13 Themes: Angst, Plot, affectionate frustration Disclaimer I do not own Nick Jakoby, he is the intellectual property of Netflix Originals, I make no money from this fanfiction. Dedication: @14readwritedraw96 and @thezucchini​ (For being so wonderfully enthusiastic) TW/CW Descriptions of pain, long term hospital stay

Previous chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 <~ You are Here

You are standing in the middle of the pasta isle at the grocery store when your cell phone goes off. It's that distinctive ping of an unknown number texting you. You sigh, roll your eyes, and wonder what is the easiest possible thing that you can make for dinner that night. In the past six days your workload has tripled. June and Em are on a much needed vacation and Nick is still unconscious at the hospital.

You know that because you called right before you left to go grocery shopping. You also called first thing this morning, and last night, and the morning before, and the night before that. You have called the hospital at least twice a day for the past thirty-seven days. You got the exact same information.

“Officer Jakoby is still in an induced coma, and he is not ready to be seen by friends or family.”

It was maddening.

Your phone goes off again and you set a jar of premade sauce back on the shelf. Your stomach isn't feeling red sauce. It isn't feeling pasta. Or oranges. Or any one of a thousand other things you were totally down for eating. You hadn't been hungry since the night part of LA went up in magical flames. Since Nick had been hospitalized.

With a sigh you eased into the snack isle. Is a bag of chips an acceptable replacement for dinner? Probably not, but you've had take out for the past two weeks and absolutely none of it has filled the steady, continuing ache in your heart.

Your phone goes off again.

“What?” you snarl loud enough to make the old lady with a basket full of frozen dinners blink with bewilderment. “Sorry. Not you.”

You pull your phone out and waive it at her. She doesn't look convinced, and doubles her speed to get into the next isle.

With a few swipes you bring up your new messages.

“This is Jessica, the Head Nurse at the Intensive Care Unit at the UCLA Medical Center.” The first message reads.

Your heard pounds so hard in your chest that your vision goes a little hazy. You grip your phone tightly enough to make the screen rainbow with protest.

“Nick Jakoby has achieved a state of continuing consciousness. One of my nurses made the mistake of telling him that you had stopped by.”

That hazy feeling turns to ash. You had wanted to see him yourself, to let him know what had gone on, and why you hadn't talked to him in six, not seven, months.  He must be angry, furious.

The third message is brief, and comes across as a little mad. “In order to keep him in bed, I promised him you would come see him tonight. Do not make me a liar.”

You desert your cart, and take the shortest possible trip to the hospital that you have ever taken. Which is impressive, considering all the times you driven up there in the past month, just in case something had happened between your morning and evening check-ins.

You don't stop at the front desk, you know where you are going. The elevator doors close as you turn the corner, and the wait for the next ones seems like an eternity. The moment the doors whoosh open, you surge inside hitting the buttons for the ICU floor. You don't even wait. You ht the close-door button and watch your reflection stare back at you as the lift starts to rise.

What are you going to say? Should you have gotten balloons? Flowers? A stuffed animal? Would he even be allowed those things? Did he want them from you? Did he want to see you to make up or to have a final talk? In the twenty-eight seconds that it takes to get to your floor, your mind plays out you greatest hopes and worst fears in a strange, overlapping loop that leaves you feeling a little lightheaded.

Though maybe that has something to do with the fact that you haven't eaten well in a month.

Your clothes don't fit right, you think as you tug at the fabric. You should have gone home to change. You were wearing your comfy clothes to go shopping. The fabric weird. Then you realize its not the fabric, its your own skin. You are so nervous that your skin feels like an electric current is running through it. With a huff you roll your shoulders, trying to settle your nerves. It doesn't help.

The doors slide open and as fast as you got into the elevator, you hesitate to get out. This could go wrong. What if his mother is there? His partner? What about Johnassen, the jerk who broke his phone so long ago?

It doesn't matter you tell yourself as you take that first step off the elevator. All that matters is he's awake. You'll be able to see him with your own eyes.

A stern looking woman with stark gray curls looks up from a desk as you approach. She tilts her head and inspects you.

“For Jakoby?” she asks like she already knows the answer. “Follow me.”

Your heart is in your ears as you follow in the steps of her worn out shoes. She swipes her badge, taking you through a set of secure double doors. The sounds of the hospital change. The ICU is bereft of human noises, but it isn't quiet. You can hear televisions on a half a dozen channels turned down low, doing what they could to preoccupy patients who were in layers of pain. The sound of breathing machines hiss and whirl. A man in green scrubs wheels supplies down the hall. There's no happy, warm chatter. Just a strange sense of desolation and pain.

You do not like it here, and you can't imagine Nick here. Nick, with his warm laugh and kindness. Nick who kisses you like the universe exists in your lips. You want to scoop him up and take him away.

The nurse stops outside of a door at the end of the hall.

“They are quarantined behind a see through partition,” she tells you in the kind of no-nonsense voice that must come from years in her work. “Do not attempt to breech this partition.”

She holds out a long medical gown. Confused, you shoved your arms into the sleeves. She spins you, and starts to tie it up, and then she puts another one on your back, spinning you again so she can tie it in the front. She hands you a cap, and a mask, and you put them both on as she helps your feet into medical grade booties.

“How dangerous is it?” You ask as she holds up a pair of gloves to slip on your hands.

“Unknown,” she tucks the end of the gloves over the wristband of the double set of gowns. “But you saw the news, you know where they were. Better safe than sorry.”

She types a number into the key pad. “You get ten minutes. No more, no less. I'm not being mean, but we need to minimize any chance of exposure.”

You nod your understanding. Ten minutes isn't much time, but you'll make the most of it.

“There are armed men in there,” she finally says. “Don't do anything to make them think you are a threat.”

It's the last bit of advice she gives you before the pad turns green and the door is opened.

The room is long, white, and empty save for what looks like a box made out of hanging plastic. Only a few of the lights are on, casting half the room in evening darkness. There are several beds, but only one of them is occupied. The long, lean body of a black male is visible beneath the harsh lighting. Three other people stand guard, dressed from head to toe, AR-15 clutched in their hands. The door closes behind you.

For a moment you stand there, frozen and unsure. A little, ugly thought makes you wonder if this is some weird trick. Then you hear your name.

Your eyes are drown to the shape of a man sitting in a chair. You hadn't noticed him at first because the dark lines of his body blend a little too easily with the pseudo darkness on that side of the room. But now that you've seen him, you can't pull your gaze away.

Nick. You'd know the shape of him anywhere. The broad, strong line of his shoulders stands guardian against the pitch black behind him. There's a blanket across his legs, and an IV in his arm.

“It's you,” he says softly, disbelieving.

“Nick.” You take one step, and then another, and before you know it your legs are carrying you across the room. You almost forget the plastic. When you foot hits it, you're startled. The guards watch you with cold glares. “Sorry.”

And once you start saying it, you can't stop. Over and over again you apologize. You don't realize you are crying until you taste the hot salt of your own tears. You are sorry you didn't call him. You are sorry you left. You are sorry you didn't answer him back. You are sorry for everything you ever did in the last six months because none of those things was going to him. You sink to your knees at the edge of the partition, the tears making it impossible to speak.

He says your name again, so soft you wonder if you dreamed it. You look up, and he's shaking his head.

“Please, don't cry.”

Slowly, unsteadily, he gets up. He doesn't look at you as he pulls the chair from one side of the plastic sheet box to the other. Right in front of you, he plops the chair down, and then lowers himself into it. His staccato motions belie how hurt he must still be.

The pair of you are silent as you look one another over. You see the bruises beneath his woad blue spots; purple and yellow and, in some places, black. You see the stitches in his arm, the thick swelling of his hands. The skin around his cheeks is slack with the lack of food he's gotten in the past month. But his eyes, those gorgeous eyes that are yellow and red and orange all at once, they are filled with pain that has nothing to do with being thrown half a football field by a magical explosion.

“You're here,” he says, his voice soft. “I thought-” He stop short, shrugging, and then wincing.

“I know,” you tell him. While you aren't sure of the exact words he must have thought, you know that it couldn't have been good.

“Why?” he asks.

You open your mouth to tell him, but the words wont come. You remember Elizabeth, his mother, and the way she had looked at you. You could tell him everything, but what good would that do? He might get angry at his mother, it might cause some kind of rift between them and how many people did Nick really have who cared that much for his safety? Not nearly enough, you think as you take in injuries you hadn't noticed before.

Instead you shrug. You can't bring yourself to lie, but you can't bring yourself to tell him the truth either, no matter how much it's burned inside of you. You turn the words that she said over in your mind, pulling an answer from them without revealing their source.

“You got hurt because you were with me.” Your voice cracks as you say it.

His eyes close and his shoulders sag. His body leans forward. You think he's about to slide out of the chair. The pair of you kneel on the floor, staring at one another. Emotions that you don't think have ever been named whirl through you. You want to touch him, you want to hold him, you want to vanish together into the night.

“No,” he said shaking his head. “No. You were just the excuse. When they saw me-” he cuts off, coughs, and shakes. “They'd already decided what they were going to do.”

He looks away. You can tell that there's more to say, that he's struggling. Rather than push you give him a moment. He deserves that at the very least.

“It wont happen again,” he says.

“Why not?”

He opens his palm, I can't see anything there, but he must because he's staring down at it like it's something special.

“I can't talk about a lot that happened that night,” he says. “I want to, I want to tell you everything but...I can't.”

You shake your head. “I just need to know you are safe.”

“I think I am. I mean-I gotta tell you, it was not a normal night. I was...I was blooded.”

Your eyes go wide. You can't help but stare at his lips. He smirks.

“It'll take a while for the tusks to grow. But I don't need to file them anymore.”

You sit back on your heels. “Are you okay with that?”

He shrugs. “I guess that depends.”

“On what?” you ask.

He takes a deep breath and looks at you. It's a long look, a scared and hopeful one. It's like he's weighing a thousand dreams as he watches you and all you can do is wait.

“I thought I was getting over you,” he finally says. “It'd been months. Long months. Really, really long months. My mom even set me up on a couple dates with some unblooded girls from other states.”

Your stomach twists.

“Yeah?” you say, hoping that he's not about to tell you that he has moved on and this whole thing was about him saying goodbye.

“They were nice, but they...they didn't understand me. They didn't like what I do. They didn't like my jokes and they all thought Alaska is stupid.” The two of you laugh and it feels so good. He shifts his position until the two of you are nearly the same height. “I wasn't falling for someone else but I was pretending really hard like I was getting over you.”

You nod, you know what he means. You'd been going through all the motions, acting like you were moving forward when all you were doing was playing the role and hoping.

“I was going to come see you,” he said. “As soon as my shift was over that night. I was going to go right to your apartment. Everyone said I shouldn't because I'd just get hurt, but I thought that it would be worth it. I just..”

Slowly he reached into the blanket still twisted around his legs. His thick, injured fingers shook with pain as he pushed the fabric around.

“Where-hold on-it's here, I swear.”

Your heart, which has already gone through far too much, pounds all over again. Your mouth goes dry.

“Nick...”

“I almost died you know,” he says as he lifts a corner, continues to look. There's a little wetness on his brow, and you wonder if it's fear, nerves, or pain that's put it there. “And not just once. I almost died like four times.”

One of the guards cleared their throats.

“I know,” Nick said, holding up his free hand. “I know. I can't tell her anything. But you only have to look at me to see that it happened.” He went still, and bowed his head. “I did die.”

It's not even a whisper, there's no sound. It's a breath of words that you are sure the guards couldn't hear. You pounding heart turns to ice in your chest.

“What?”

But he doesn't say it again. Instead he looks up at you and his eyes are bright with a hundred emotions. “And all I could think about, was you.”

He holds out his hand. Nested there is a black velvet box. Carefully, he opens it, revealing a ring. It's made of two metals, platinum and rose gold, twisted around one another to form a very simple braid, and right there at the center is a stone in the exact same shade of blue as his spots.

“All  I thought about every day has been you,” he is saying when your ears start to work again. “And I don't want to ever have to worry again.”

You swallow twice before you can speak. “Are you proposing?”

You aren't sure if he's blushing, but his ears twitch. “Only if you're saying yes.”

“You have to ask,” you say. “You have to...ask.”

“Is it a spell? A human thing?” he says.

You shrug, because it kind of is, but mostly you just need to time to stop your thoughts from making such a commotion in your head. There are a hundred ways this could go wrong, a thousand even, but even so-

He says your name and you find that he's shifted yet again, down on one knee in front of you. “Will you marry me?”

[jaefluenza]

Ice Cream | Yuta x Reader

a theme park date with Yuta! (super fluff!)

word count: 2,3k words

“Hyung, do you have plans today?” Haechan asked Yuta as he looked at the older man playing Jaehyun’s nintendo switch.

“Uhm, no. Why?” Yuta replied without even looking.

Haechan smiles brightly, “Great! We’re going to Everland. Be prepared, hyung. Let’s go!”

Yuta leaves his nintendo, “Wait, what?” He runs towards the door, chasing after the younger boy.

“Who are we going with? And, did you ask manager hyung?”

Haechan looks back at him, ”Uh, I invited Y/n and Doyoung. The others are not available.”

Yuta’s eyes widened in nervousness. ”Ah..okay.” He hurriedly closes the door and goes to prepare himself.

So, you and Yuta have been best friends since you both were kids. Yuta introduces you to the boys through FaceTime, so you and the boys immediately became close. You learned Korean for Yuta, and you promised him and the boys to take them to the theme park.

“What should I wear? Uh, this jacket? No, definitely not cool.” Yuta takes off his outer and try another coat, “Well, this coat? Ah, too bland.”

Haechan walks into the older’s room, wondering what took him so long just to go to a theme park.

He whines, “Hyung, are you seriously deciding what to wear right now? We don’t have time!”

“This wouldn’t happen if you didn’t invite her! I gotta make a good impression, Donghyuck-ah!” Yuta answered back.

The younger sighs in defeat, “Alright, I’ll wait for you in the living room. Doyoung hyung is also ready.”

Yuta replied with a brief ‘ok’ before spraying on his cologne. “I have to look good.”

Meanwhile, you’re already sitting in a boba cafe, waiting for the guys to arrive. You dress prettily, wearing a cute bright overall, paired with a black and white striped shirt. You have someone to impress, of course, your childhood best friend, Nakamoto Yuta.

You slurped your boba, almost upset that the boys haven’t showed up. You dialed Haechan’s number, huffing in anger until you heard him answering the call. “Hello, noona~” His cute greeting almost making you melt.

“Yah, Lee Donghyuck! What did I tell you? We were supposed to meet at 11, and now it’s 11.25. My makeup is running off!”

“Don’t blame me for keeping you waiting, blame Yuta hyung instead. He-” He was cut by a panic Yuta. “Hi, Y/n. We’re five minutes away from the cafe, wait a little bit more, okay?” Hearing his voice makes you gulp in nervousness. “O-okay.” You replied before ending the call. You decided to check your look before they arrive.

You put your lipgloss into the bag and before you get to turn your head, 3 boys are sitting in front of you. You were about to greet haechan loudly when you realize that they’re idols. “HAEChan-ah~” Haechan laugh at you quietly behind his mask, while you want to pop out some bobas from the straw into his face for laughing at you.

Yuta smiled brightly as he saw you laughing around with the boys. He’s feeling so awkward sitting next to you that he can’t be brave enough to greet you first. Doyoung slurped his boba before speaking up, “haven’t y’all bought the tickets?”

You shook your head as you answered, “No, I thought Haechan said he got the tickets booked.”

Haechan nodded before taking up his phone to the three of you, “I did. Thanks to me,” He bragged which makes the three of you rise from your seats and leave him behind. “Hey, let’s go together..”

Arriving at the theme park, the four of you splits into pairs, so y’all won’t draw any attention. Haechan purposely team himself with Doyoung so Yuta can get some alone time with you. Before going into the theme park shuttle bus, Yuta tapped your shoulder awkwardly, wanting to give you something. You turned to him with a little “what’s up”.

“Why are you so confident? You have to wear a mask too. It would get crazy if someone captured your face. Wear this,” he said while handing you a cute printed mask. You noticed it looks like the one he also wears before you laugh, “a couple mask? Oooh, I didn’t know you hadn’t this side of you.”

“Shut up, just wear it.” He said coyly.

The two of you got into a second bus and fortunately, unlike the earlier bus that Doyoung and Haechan ride in, the entire bus is empty. You take a seat while Yuta stands up, holding onto a handle grip. Since no one of both of you is speaking, you take this as a chance to play around with him. You get your phone from your bag, pointing the camera at him, and click!

“What? Hey! I wasn’t ready!” He complained.

“It’s okay, you look good.” You chuckle, while hiding your phone away from him.

“Let me see.” He leans closer to you but you hide away from him. “No! You’ll take my phone and delete it!”

“I won’t. Come on, let me see~” He pleaded with his wide cute eyes.

“Noooo,” You rise from your seat, running away from him when suddenly the bus turns and you lose your balance.

“Hey! Be careful,” Yuta yelled before he caught your waist, keeping you from falling. You stare at his eyes, blinking in nervousness.

“T-thank you.” You thanked him before tidying up your outfit. The bus stopped and both of you walked out of the bus awkwardly.

“What’s with the awkward atmosphere? Did you guys kiss?” Haechan asked bluntly.

“No!” Both of you said in union.

“N-no. we didn’t,” Yuta said afterward.

You avoid his look awkwardly, while you feel so embarrassed inside. You feel like he didn’t actually feel the same.

“At least, not yet. Yeah, we know it. Not yet,” Doyoung nodded teasingly at both of you, before taking Haechan to leave you and Yuta and entering the theme park.

“What do you want to ride first?” Yuta asked you. You’re still avoiding his look after earlier convo.

“Uh, what should we ride first? Uh, like, maybe, that one?” You point at a small coaster for kids.

He laughed while you blushed, “No, Y/n. We can’t ride that. It’s for kids. Maybe that one.” He pointed at a not-so-high swings and you swear you can feel the goosebumps.

“U-uh, yeah. Probably, uhm, alright.”

“Since when are you scared of rides? You know we used to ride those scary rides in disneyland.”

It’s just, I’m afraid I will look bad beside you, stupid.

“Uh, no, it’s just, It’s been.. long since I go to a theme park. I’m just, like, getting the sparks all over again.”

“Well, let’s go then!” He holds your hand and drag you to the fast track. You can feel your heart is the one racing, not the rides.

After making sure that the safety gear is tighter, Yuta makes sure if you feel okay and excited. While all you think about was, what if my saliva runs out of my mouth, or what if I scream so loudly that his ears would start ringing?

“Hey, you’re alright?” He asked.

You nod, “I am. Don’t worry, this is fun!”

A minute later, you found yourself screaming loudly, not caring if your lens are falling out or if there’s any saliva getting out of your mouth.

After the ride, you no longer feel anxious and awkward around Yuta. It’s like you found the old fun going on when you were with him. These past weeks you stayed in Korea, you care a lot about your appearance in front of Yuta because of your big fat crush but now that you both are alone, the comfortable feeling starts to appear.

“You scream so loud, damn! You never change, Y/n. I love that of you, like you never hold on.” He laughs while you realize what he said. Love?

You think of the possibility of all possibilities when he said that L word, but who knows? Maybe he just loves you as a best friend.

“Oh, Yuta! We should check that out! Cute headbands!” You screamed after seeing a headband booth. “Well, let’s buy some.” He holds your hand as if it’s a usual thing to do while you blush madly.

“Woah, look! Panda headbands! Ooh, and this, couple fairy headbands! I love them!” You coo at the cute headbands. You pick two of them, one is a cute devil headband while the other one is the angel one.

“I’ll take the angel, and you’re the devil.” You claimed.

“But-” You cut him off, “No buts! I’ll take these, thank you.” you head out to the cashier and pay for them while Yuta trails behind you.

You laugh at him when he wears the silly headbands, the pouting shape of his lips can be seen through his mask. “It’s okay. You look cute.” You reassured him.

“Anything for you, Y/n. Anything.” He uttered, which makes you blush heavily.

“Let’s go to the animal park, I want to see pandas.” You casually take his hand and drag him with you. Little did you know, he smiled widely behind his mask, looking at his hand tightly in yours.

“Hey! That’s Haechan and Doyoung,” you dragged him towards the rivalry couple. As you both head towards them, their bickering could be heard.

“I said, let’s go to panda world first!” Haechan shout at his hyung.

“No! I want to see the grizzlies first, let’s go!” Doyoung answers back.

“Hey, why are you guys arguing in this magical place?” You look at the both of them, while Yuta stares at his hand in yours all the time. Doyoung glared playfully at the younger before shifting his eyes at your hand. “Wait, are you guys casually holding hands like that?”

“Eh, did it work? Woah, I guess it works!” Haechan squealed happily until Yuta steps on his foot, warning him of something.

You glance at them suspiciously, “What’s working? Did you guys plan on something?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t listen to them. Yah, you two, follow us. We’re going to see the pandas. Come on,” Yuta glared at the younger boys before dragging you into the panda world area. Haechan smirks at Doyoung while sticking his tongue teasingly. It’s weird.

The moment you all walked out of the animal park, it’s almost dark. “It’s almost sunset already. Let’s go to the Ferris wheels!” Doyoung said.

“You two go first, Y/n and I will go get something at the food fair.” Yuta looks at you while shooing the guys away. The younger boys nod without saying anything and left.

He throws a gummy smile before he asks, “Do you want ice cream? Let’s go.”

At the ice cream booth, your eyes sparkle at the various flavor of icecream. “Woah, strawberry! I want each scoop of strawberry and peach!”

(I’m sorry if these are not your favs but i’m just picking out mine lmao)

Yuta laughs, “Woah! You never change, Y/n. Always, strawberry and peach. Cute,” then he chuckled.

You bit your lip when he said you are cute. Did he really mean that?

Both of you walk to the Ferris wheel with ice creams. “Look, they’re already on the top.” Yuta points at the highest cube where Doyoung and Haechan was in.

The staff opened the door for you and both of you walked in carefully, avoiding people’s look.

“Phew, that was scary. I almost have eye-contact with the people at the queue.”

You laughed, before licking the ice cream so it doesn’t melt away.

Almost reaching the top of the wheel, Yuta moves his leg anxiously. He sneaked a glance at you who’s enjoying the view of the park before putting a strand of your hair behind your ear. You turn at him, a smile appears on his face when he saw the remains of ice cream on the corner of your lips.

“Aye, are you a child? Why are you so messy like that?” He nagged before wiping them off your lips with his thumb.

You look at him in awe, feeling coy by the sudden skinship. “Yuta....”

He shifts closer to you while you blink nervously. He reaches for your hand, looking deeply into your eyes as he speaks, “I know you’re my childhood friends and we probably must just stay friends but, I can’t hide my feelings anymore.”

He continues, “I don’t know what you feel about me, but I personally like you as a woman. No, I mean, I love you. You don’t have to answer, there’s no pressure at all.”

He waited for an answer but your words won’t come out. You feel so wonderstruck, because after all the sneaky glances, awkward skinship and countless calls every night, Yuta actually feels the same about you.

“Yuta, I.. I like you too.” You answered.

His eyes widen in shock, but seconds later, he smiles widely after hearing your confession. “Really?”

You nodded before you feel his lips on yours. You close your eyes, enjoying the kiss on the top of the Ferris wheels. For a moment, everything feels like a dream. Time stops for a while as you both get lost in the feeling of pure bliss.

“You taste like strawberry and peach.” Yuta murmured against your lips.

Unlike the new smoochy couple, Haechan and Doyoung wear their masks again because they’re about to reach the base of the wheel. “Where are they? Oh, they’re at the top. Dude, don’t look.” Doyoung warned as he looked up to a certain cube with a familiar couple in it.

Haechan lost by his own curiously as he also looked to where Doyoung pointed. He cursed while closing his not-so-innocent eyes, “Ah, look at that. We made them. Yeah, we made that happen. They owe us grilled pork, really.”

jaefluenza masterlist

[paprikadevil45]

enemies turned friends (DD AU - chapter 1 part 2)

Steven sat on the couch the gems of his friends and the strange fusion sat motionless on the table before him, “your human half won’t stand a chance against my injector” he couldn’t stop thinking about what Cuprite said, what did it mean? Suddenly the front door bursted open “Steven! I came as fast as i could! are you okay?” It was Greg, his dad the once Mr. universe who upon coming to beach city met his mom rose quartz “holy sh- she really got everybody!” Greg stated surveying the table “is that them?” He asked spotting the two pink gems, Steven nodded in response “I don’t get it” greg stated “why did they do this?” “No idea” Steven admitted “but what i do know is that my powers are acting off” Steven said summoning his shield, or tried at least as the item fizzled and glitched before finally dissipating “how come” greg asked “i think it might have to do with this” Steven said as he pulled out the long menacing weapon and pushing the button on it’s handle, Greg flinched slightly as the item activated revealing it’s pink blade. “Dad there’s something wrong with me, i have no idea what’s going on” Steven said after a deep sigh “schtu - ball don’t worry things will be alright, I mean so what if you don’t know what’s going on? I don’t know what’s going on all the time” Greg gestured “look things are gonna be okay, soon the gems are going to reform and they’ll be back better than ever” Greg continued holding pearl’s gem in his hands. Suddenly the gem glowed and pearl raised into the air “see? look here she comes, good old pearl” instead of “good old pearl” however something else happened an holographic oyster shape formed around the gem “huh well that’s new?” Greg said “please identify yourself” the gem demand “um..greg universe?” Greg answered “greetings Umgreguniverse, please stated preferred customization options” Greg looked to Steven confused “um....what am I suppose to say here?” “I dunno” steven said shrugging “default setting selected, Please stand by” the gem confirmed descending and landing on the kitchen floor. The shell opened and pearl ascended now wearing some form of dress with puffy shoulder pads and a translucent material draping over the top of her skirt “Pearl!” Steven called out running over to the newly reformed gem “Pearl, thank goodness your back” Pearl stood there for a second before finally walking over to Greg ignoring Steven “how do you do? ~🎵” Pearl sang as she bowed to Greg “my Umgreguniverse ~ 🎶” she continued looking to Greg “thank you for bringing me into the world, i am at your eternal service ~ 🎵” Pearl continued holding Greg’s hand and kneeling down before him “welcome to your new pearl ~🎶” Steven and Greg looked on with confusion “whaaaaats going on!?” The two said in unison “could her gem be cracked?” Greg questioned “looks fine to me” Steven said inspecting the gem on her forehead, Steven suddenly looked over to the table seeing another one of the gems reforming this one had a very square build, red coloring, and her gem was located on her left palm “Ruby!” Steven said “ar-are you okay?” He said walking to the table “Ah! Who are you? You’re not my assignment” The small gem demanded getting into some form of defensive stance “I could really use an explanation?” Greg said scratching his head “allow me to illuminate!” Pearl budded in, twirling over “A ruby guard ~🎶” Pearl sung “but just a single one? they tend to come in teams of three or more ~🎵” Pearl continued before another gem reformed. This one a lot more different than Ruby her build was more circular, her coloring was blue and her gem was located on her right palm “a precious sapphire, she sees the future, that’s who the ruby’s for ~ 🎶” Pearl continued to sing as the other gem came into being “My sapphire” Ruby announced “as my sworn duty and soul purpose, i will protect you with my life!” Ruby swore crossing her arms “I know you will, that’s why I predict you won’t last more than a day” Sapphire said in a cold response “huh?” Ruby squeaked out “come now” Sapphire spoke coldly again as she and her small soldier got off the table backing away and giving space for the other gem that was about to reform. This one was short, chubby, and purple with her gem located directly on her chest “Amethyst!” Steven said “hey Amethyst?” He called the gem’s name again “hey amethyst?” Amethyst mimicked “what? No. You’re Amethyst!” Steven said trying to get her attention “what? No. You’re amethyst!” Amethyst said continuing to mimic Steven “you must be right, this is an amethyst ~🎵” Pearl sung out “except an amethyst is big and strong, this one is not the best example, something is clearly wrong ~ 🎶” Pearl continued “I do say something is clearly wrong, what are we all doing here in this strange place?” Pearl shrugged with Amethyst copying her movements “Pearl, don't you recognize them? Don't you recognize me?” Steven asked the confused servant, Pearl pondered for a minute “well I certainly recognize my Umgreguniverse” Pearl gestured to Greg “oh boy” Greg said in response “as for you?” Pearl took a close look at steven. A light blared out at Pearl and Steven, the heart shaped pink gem started to glow float in front of them “get back!” Steven shouted suddenly the gem rotated upright into a proper heart shape, as the gem reform rubber-like arms wrap around Steven trampling him to the ground once she finished reforming he was able to get a good look at the gem, she wore a whiteish pink top complete with a pair of puffy magenta shorts with two diamond buttons stitched in, to match her gem her hair was done into two heart shaped buns completing her look was a pair of puffy pink sleeves, magenta shoes, striped stockings, and pink gloves she looked at steven her eyes now looking large and cartoonish accompanied by a large playful smile. “I’m so exited to meet you!!!” The gem rang out between giggles “y-you’re...not..mad...? Steven said shakily, the gem only tilted her head in response “mad? Why would I be mad at my......BEST FRIEND!!!!!” The gem shouted out laughing giddily “this will be fun! Aren’t you the lucky one?” Pearl sang again as Greg helped Steven up “her cut is perfect and she’s pink as well!” Pearl continued leaping over to the newly formed gem “she’ll bring you endless entertainment, your new best friend spinel!” Pearl finally concluded her song after explaining the gem “YOOOUUU!!!” Steven called out pointing at the gem angrily “what did you do to us! Why do you look like this!? WHAT’S GOING ON!!!” Steven said proceeding to shake the gem, the only response he got however was just the gem giggling and poking his nose with her finger “boop! That was fun, but now it’s your turn ~” Spinel said as once again she wrapped her elastic arms around Steven shaking him up and down vigorously midair while laughing “W-W-W-Would you cut that out?!” Steven cried trying to get the her attention. Suddenly Spinel stopped shaking him and also laughing, “Thank....you...” Steven said catching himself before Spinel suddenly dropped him on to the floor and began walking over to the table as soon as he got up he was able to see the real reason why she dropped Steven the other pink gem on the table, the other pearl had started reforming. Steven immediately ran over to stand beside the rubber gem who was rather curious of what was happening, just like before an holographic oyster formed around the gem this time pink instead of blue “please identify yourself” the gem asked just like Pearl the only difference was that her voice was a bit more softer than Pearl’s, Steven let out a calm sigh “Steven....Universe” he replied knowing full well what was going to happen next “greetings Steven Universe, please stated preferred customization options” before Steven could say a word the pink gem jump over to him “oh oh oh!! You should model her after you!!” Spinel said “After me?” Steven questioned, suddenly a net like scan came down upon Steven catching him off guard “customization scan complete, please stand by” the gem said “no no no wait!!” Steven said but it was too late as the shell landed on the floor opening and revealing the pearl. Unlike their pearl who’s form was more fancy and uptight the pink one wore something a lot more similar to Steven’s she wore a hoodie with translucent sleeves, her hair was done into two poof pigtails with a star head band across her head, just like pearl she wore a translucent skirt which under it was a pair of shorts and instead of ballet shoes she wore a pair of doll shoes that looked slightly similar to Steven’s flip flops, as soon as the gem stepped off the oyster she walked across the kitchen floor straight to Steven and Spinel who were standing still in anticipation “how do you do? My Steven universe, it’s nice to finally be in your presence ~🎵” Pink pearl sang “I promise to be your eternal servant, welcome to your very own pearl ~🎶” Steven sighed, while Spinel was in utter wonder at the new gem “wow!!! You got yourself a new pearl, so cool!!!” The gem said unable to control her excitement “wait, wait, wait, you two don’t remember?” Steven said to the two gems, Spinel and Pink pearl just stood in confusion “remember what?” the two said in unison. “Y’know the stuff you said about how i won’t stand a chance against your injector?” The two gems looked to each other for a second before looking to Steven “nope” Spinel shooked her head “not a thing” Pink pearl agreed Steven sighed knowing that they really didn’t remember a thing, suddenly the door opened lion stepping in through the door into the area “Lion!” He said to the large pink wild cat who was approaching Steven “it’s good to see your okay” Steven said petting the large animal “oh yeah! and since your here i might as well store this in your mane” he said trying to shove the weapon into Lion's mane with no effect, as it simply slides off Steven's hand “I can’t store things in lion’s mane that’s one the most easiest things i can do!” Steven said “my Steven universe?” The pigtailed pearl said generously “would you like me to hold that for you?” Steven looked down at the object although he’d rather not give to her since he was rather unsure he didn’t have much of choice as of right now “alright you can hold on to it just please be careful with it” he said handing the item to the gem, suddenly his phone rang he picked it up out of his pocket, “Hello?” “Steven is everything okay over there?” It was Connie this brought immediate relief to him, Connie was her best friend or was given they were now dating “Connie! Is something wrong, are you?” “I think I should be asking you that” Connie asked Steven “I was on my way to space camp when i heard a loud rumble, I looked over to beach city to see that thing sticking out of the hill on top your house” she said rotating  her phone towards the injector now sticking out of the hill like a mosquito on someone’s arm Steven ran outside the others following behind as looked on at the injector, she wasn’t wrong it stood there looming over his house threateningly “well golly!” A voice rang Steven looked beside him to see Spinel standing right beside him “that thing sure is big, so you wanna climb it something?” The gem perched up jumping in place “what no I, ugh aw man what am i gonna do?” Steven wondered hopelessly “i got no friends help me except-“ he then shifts his view from the injector over to little homeworld “Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot” “Connie i need you to do me favor” while Steven talked to Connie on his phone Spinel found herself scanning the pearl standing next to her “so your his pearl?” She asked the pink gem standing next to her “i am and you are?” Pink replied curiously “I’m Spinel” she chirped happily extending her hand literally “and it’s a pleasure to meet you!” Pink pearl giggled as she shook the small rubber gem’s hand “Okay connie i’ll see you there, bye” Steven concluded hanging up “okay guys we need to head over to the others so c’mon” Steven told as he starts running off to beach city with Spinel and Pink pearl following behind before coming to a halt as he notices that the others aren’t following instead Pearl summoned a parasol from her gem and used it to shield a wary Greg from the sun. Amethyst, standing near them, shape shifted into Greg, leaving a confused Pearl to constantly switch between holding the parasol over both. "Ruby? Sapphire?" Steven asked looking over to the two gem “she’s not going anywhere!” Ruby growled "I do see us following him to the countryside" Sapphire reassured the small soldier "Never mind! We're going" Ruby begrudgingly allowed as the two joined Steven in going to beach city leaving Greg with Pearl and Amethyst who had now shapeshifted into Pearl “Wait!! Don't leave me alone with these two!” Greg begged “just keep an eye on them for now. We’ll be back” Steven confirmed, and with that Steven, Spinel, Pink pearl, Ruby, and Sapphire went off towards the Town in the distance where hopefully they can figure out what to do.

End chapter 1 - to be continued......

[cuddlingwithmydemons]

SPOILERS AHEAD BE WARY!

Okay quick rant about percy jackson/heroes of olympus because I'm rereading them and something caught my eye.

Frank Zhang, is badass. He is the coolest character in the entire series and I haven't seen anyone mention it.

First of all, this dude is greek AND roman. He comes from long, long line of greek shapeshifters who just so happen to be descendants of one of the most destructive gods(earthshaker anyone?). And he is also the son of the war god. But not just any war god. Mars, the roman war god. The romans being a military based society, this god had a lot of power and influence. (Anyone else remember everyone at Camp Jupiter being in disbelief because "how could this weird canadian kid be the child of one of our favorite gods?")

Second, this boys LIFE, his whole ass EXISTENCE, is tied to FIREWOOD. And not like a log or anything no, a fucking STICK. And still this boy travels across the ocean with someone who can make fire appear at will and risks his life in every situation and even WILLINGLY SETS IT ON FIRE all for the greater good. Like...imagine being that selfless and badass.

And then there's the scene that started this rant, in House of Hades when Nico is corn and Hazel is dying, Frank is left on his own to get a snake for a god. And you know what this boy does? He gets a goddamn snake. How? Well, he asks his dad and his dad says "kill all the monsters in this city". And you know what this boy DOES???

HE KILLS ALL OF THE MONSTERS IN THE CITY

He straight up runs around the entirety of Venice being followed by poisonous cow things, leads them to a bridge, then calls on the Blessing of Ares(Mars whatever) and kills ALL OF THEM.

(Clarisse in The Last Olympium anyone?)

Allow me to just

"He sliced through monsters until he was ankle-deep in yellow dust(...)His shape-shifting became so fluid, he could start an attack in human form with his sword and finish as a lion, raking his claws across a katobleps’s snout."(House of Hades 150)

Like...wtf. That is honestly and truly the coolest thing I have ever read in my entire life. Like...imagine that as a show. An animated show. Made by some big company. Not naming any names.

And THEN. He goes back to Hazel(and instantly rushes over to her which is super cute) and the god says he might not save her and this boy I-

"Frank was faster. He lunged at Trip and slammed him into the wall, his fingers locked around the god’s throat. “Think about your next words,” Frank warned, deadly calm. “Or instead of beating my sword into a plowshare, I will beat it into your head.”'(House of Hades 153).

Honestly man I'm done with this dude. 3 cool 5 me. Oh and also he becomes big and beefy boi which is sick.

Anyway that's as far as I've reread and I love Frank Zhang with my whole heart and that's all bye!

[theholycovenantrpg]

In the beginning was NERISSA, a HORSEMAN loyal to the cause of the HORSEMEN. They are said to be IMMORTAL and use SHE/THEY pronouns. In this New Testament they serve as the HORSEMAN OF WAR. Blessed be her name.

THE INDELIBLE MARK.

Before they were known as the Horseman of War, they were first known as spear-wielding Ares, the wise Bellona. Pulled from the first glob of God’s divine blood, ferocity clings to their every movement, carved as she is from that first moment of onslaught. The image of dissent, an atmosphere of aggression tugs formidably behind them: one cannot enter into their presence without coming away and feeling themselves savagely provoked. They are uniquely able to rouse a sense of belligerence in the hearts of all those who draw near, inciting embattled violences beneath the flesh. A natural battle-strategist and capable soldier, she is perhaps best suited to the life of roving sword-selling: lifting herself from Purgatory and into earth through appetite alone, her inviolable arrogance causes her to inspire more fear than love. Endowed with the divine gift of almost unconquerable physical prowess, War is by far the most capable of their band in skirmishes and warfare—her apparent invincibility transforms her every movement into bloody spectacle. Sating themself on the hostility around them, they feed on slices of wrath and aggression, which enhances their might and muscle. No weapon is a stranger in her hands—the silver never fails to draw blood. Like her comrades, she too traverses the earth seated above a steed retrieved from Purgatory’s wispy depths: a beast of scarlet red, its mane kissed by flames. When one draws closer, however, one realises that it is not that its hide is the colour red, but that its body is mysteriously glazed with blood.

THE HISTORY.

Once upon a time, the universe had waited in silence, sitting utterly still. It waited to be born. Not a breath stirred, not a star sighed, not even God peeled open His eyes to glimpse the vision of what would come to be His creation. It was not until He at last emerged from the empty-bellied void in which He drew His first breath that something at last began to rouse. With both hands, the Creator began to sculpt, and high above all those terrestrial slices of life He dipped his hand into a luminous cloud, cutting out something divine. From the shimmer, a slew of angels sprouted. Satisfied with His creation, God turned His attention to the earth, forging children from the soil and coaxing them into His kingdom; all the while, a host of heavenly divinities peered down from a magnificent kingdom of their own, their eyes always upon Him. It was then that His creation began to stir. The waves crashed upon the coastline, its milky sea-form baring its teeth as it lapped violently over the crag—suddenly, something sparked. What must it feel like, the angels wondered as they watched God dote on the earth, to be pulled from the hollow ocean of nothingness and brought into existence only to serve? In groups, they began to whisper more surreptitiously now, their necks bowed in secrecy: what could it mean, to be brought into being only to fall down in supplication? To be forced to beg attentively beneath the feet of a throne? It feels like this. It means this. Thus, the first seed of insurrection was planted right there in God’s heavenly kingdom, and the seed began to grow. For most, the feeling was nothing more than a feeling. For others, it was a knife. What, they thought, made God worthy of their worship? Were they not each divine? Digging up the seed from the ground, they sharpened it into a blade, and the dissenters turned their sullen weapon on their lord. With a fell swoop of His hand, the divinities were reduced to dust—yet not before the blade had stoked met flesh. A lone bead of blood trickled down His arm.

As God watched the droplet run down His arm, He began to contemplate all the moments that had led to its becoming: moments of dissent, moments of conflict. Moments of war. The wine-red caught the holy light and, for a moment, God felt strangely impermanent; He realised that he, too, could be conquered. Something occurred to Him then that had never occurred to Him before: He had made himself King of all he saw, the sky’s amber flush buckling to please Him, the earth’s children bending a knee—but still it could turn on Him. Dagger-wielding, His angelic renegades were only a slice of the violence that could be sharpened against Him, and thus, a sense of militance guiding the sculptor’s hand, God took the morsel in His palm and began to create. When He was done, something ravenous grew in its place. War. He only held their gaze for the slightest of moments, yet something in their eyes captured His interest: deep red, He felt as if He was staring into two pools of blood. Her creator was hesitant to break the connection, yet, almost fearful of the war-mongering creature He had carved from his own mortality, He left her to her mutinous sedition, that first flash of divinity against silver still lingering in His mind. War threw their head violently backward, sating themself on the divinity around them, and she began to dream of relentless anarchy. An idol of red waste began to unfurl in her rib. They began to envision how, in their calamitous hands, the shedding of blood became distinctly religious; all that was created could also be ruined, awaiting her sacred purge. She understood war. She recognised rage. As God turned His back on them, she grunted out assault. They were that first moment of violence and dissidence, a blade sharpened and turned against God. And they were every other rancorous moment that followed.

The presence of War has always been felt. Eve would sink her teeth into the golden apple, and humankind would turn on its benevolent ruler, harnessing a web of violence in their hands, leashing it into a weapon. She foresaw it. She was it. War smiled. When God at last returned to His awful creation, He skirted uneasily around her, deeply suspicious of the ungovernable creature He had sculpted. He wanted her gone. Refusing to meet the red pools in her eyes, the Creator carved a slice in the cosmos, a grey fog creeping out from within it. Without a word, War slipped from God’s kingdom to their own. Together, the Horsemen landed in Purgatory, a cavern crafted in their dire image, before being omnipotently thrust apart, enclosed into their own domains—pulled toward a husk of life here and a shred of eternity there, they awaited the primeval promise of their return. Though she first revelled in its bleak landscape, the opportunity of warfare unwinding its secrets to her, she sowed a seed of strife amongst its hungering inhabitants and only came away dissatisfied. War tied her belligerence to them, and its lost souls followed it hollowly; when she sank her teeth into them, she found nothing to sate herself on. She chewed, and she quickly reached sinew. They were nothing more than cold, dead bone. In a torment of their own, War churned in their chamber, emptied by the pyrrhic aggression she mindlessly roused. Starving, all they could do was wait, languishing idly while she awaited God’s divine summon. While she dreamt of grinding the earth in her mouth. That summon would never come, but something else did: a splinter, yet another slice in the cosmos, a glowing window which invited her step. Though her companions idled, reluctant to abandon their bone-carved kingdoms and their hordes of lovesick ghosts, War threw themself impatiently through the gap. The next world embraced lovingly her.

The cut didn’t spit them out. Instead, it gave birth to them. When they emerged from the tear, they greeted a world almost entirely flooded by red; the Blood Plague had spread itself over the children of the earth, tearing their final breaths from between their ribs, and what remained of God’s temporal creations were at war. Overtaken by a host of celestial creatures, the earth buckled beneath their divinity, and yet it went on living—the End of Days had stepped into the world, only to be shown that their services were no longer required. War would not take the world in her mouth after all; she would not deliver a grave of strife into the universe. She resented it. That, she felt, meant it owed her. They had never been much of an engineer; to wage war, after all, meant to raze Creation to the ground, yet they carved out the new destiny they would share with their fellow Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They would kill for coin. It fit her like a glove, the implacable title of Assassin: it was, after all, not too different from mounting an attack—cut a man open with silver and they bleed the same, no? In them, blood and rage welded into a single organism. Reach into their chest, pull apart their ribs, and there lay the revolting product of it, so bright and gaudy that one couldn’t possibly look away, couldn’t tear their eyes from the sight of it, even if they wanted to. War's heart has always hammered in her chest with a violence almost religious; with each thump it belches with a spray of blood, like an animal used in sacrifice. Riding mightily beside their brethren, she inspires as much admiration as she does fear. For now, the world seems to stand still—but War has seen what happens when a seed is planted.

THE CONNECTIONS.

DMITRI, RYUK & VIKTORIA: Fellowship. They are, perhaps, the only things she hopes never to smite with her blade. Each of them had been sculpted for devastation, shaped in the image of apocalypse, and yet in each other they have found something untouchable. They’ve created something they would mourn to watch burn. First, they had been alone, and in Purgatory they held to each other for only a moment before splintering apart; now, they ride side-by-side, as it was always meant to be. All of them are ravenous, each of them have always dreamed of gorging themselves on cuts of the world, and that is precisely what Nerissa had always been searching for. Not companionship, but shared hunger—though she seems to also have found companionship too along the way. Purgatory had offered nothing for her. Though she pulled morsels to her mouth, they never sated her. What hostility could she feed herself on, what feeling could she find, amongst the dead? The first to cut out their destiny in the New World, there are many who mistake War for the group’s leader, and while they certainly enjoy the shimmer of reverence that comes with their brashness, there are no hierarchies amongst them. They are equals. Ryuk in particular invites her appetite: both, after all, had been cut from the reminder that even God could be felled—and yet, they run with all of them. That thought of watching the world fall to fire is never far from her mind, but when she thinks of her fellowship—well, perhaps she changes her mind.

ARIANNE ALTIER: Acolyte. If they have ever been wrong about a person, that is not something they are ever particularly open about admitting, but when it comes to Arianne, this brooch of a girl with the bloodied fangs to match—well, perhaps she can swallow her pride just this once. When she had first come to her, they had seen nothing special again; beautiful, yes, but there are so many beautiful girls. But Arianne is something more than beautiful. She’s terrible, and that’s something Nerissa can work with. There are so few in this world that have genuinely drawn their attention; after all, War has never sought to own the world, only to break it—yet, she has detected something ruinous in the woman that kneels at her feet, begging to be taught. She has encountered so few capable of genuine destruction, and while they’re not yet sure whether the girl is capable of razing everything in her path, even her sister, even herself, Nerissa will indulge her for the time being. What a mortal could offer the coming of the end of days, they are not quite sure, and yet there is something in her; something voracious, something wicked, something with teeth. Arianne has surprised her, and she goes on surprising her, but Nerissa cannot help themself but wonder: how far can flesh and bone go?

DAMIEN WARD: Strategy. They have no time for sycophants. They can’t bear those who dip their schemes into cloying honey, hoping to conceal their dark matter; and that is perhaps why she infinitely prefers him to his mentor, a sinner set on carving out a throne with his blade-like tongue. They recognise a slice of themself in him; in a way, they’re alike—two creatures shaped to ruin. Nevertheless, for all their likeness, for all their silent affirmations that a beast must find other beasts and search for prey to chew on, she has no desire to serve him. How long had it been, after all, since she and her comrades had shed the divine skins God had forged for them, carving out instead a path of their own? She had been at the helm of that. She will not relinquish her hold on it. Damien’s grip, however, seems to be slipping. Once, he would have eaten the world, chewed it up in his jaw, but now he sits idly, his Vices hungering indolently at his side. His ancient destiny had once been ruination, but Nerissa cannot help but feel her expression grow sour as she watches him perched above an imaginary throne. Yes, they are creatures carved from the same substance, but one of them has changed.

CAPHRIEL: Peacemaker. She sets herself apart from all the other creatures that War has ever encountered. Red and full of rage, they have spent the last few aeons sinking her teeth into creatures of hunger, animals of unstoppable violence, the sly animals lurking in Purgatory’s mundane depths. Caphriel, on the other hand, is embodied devotion; as reverent as God had once been, she pulls broken shards from her own bone to assist those searching for assistance—indeed, perhaps she has nobody to blame but herself that the Red Horseman of War had fixed their ravenous eyes upon her. Though she has many, the ethereal Caphriel has become her most favourite toy to play with. With two wolfish eyes, they have settled their sights on rending the creature apart—they are always searching for threads, as if pulling at one would cause her to fall apart. Her compassion is delightfully predictable, clinging to lone shreds of harmony, yet they know precisely how to tug at her; Nerissa easily incites the angel to provocation. At once resolved to avoid the bloodied, war-torn path which carves itself with their every step, they can only smile wickedly at the way that Caphriel finds herself continuously turning toward her, hoping to answer her with belligerence. Only one question remains: who will the angel sharpen her weapon against?

Nerissa is portrayed by Sung Hee Kim and was written by CAS. She is currently TAKEN by DANI.

[gwxndolyn]

TASK: Development

Describe your character in a few words:  Solitary, feisty, independent. 

What do you know about your character that they don’t know yet? Gwen is actually a huge softie deep down, she doesn’t know it yet but she will eventually. All she wants is a family, and people to love her.

What are your character’s major flaws? Not letting her feelings be known, unless they’re anger. She doesn’t like to admit when she’s feeling things such as vulnerability or when she’s upset. Gwen also is very quick to anger, but she blames her father for that.

What would your character give their life for? Her family, and Ginger the cat. 

What is your character’s greatest asset? Her complete and utter loyalty to anyone that she cares for - she’ll do anything to ensure their safety. 

What would completely break your character? Anything happening to Gianna. @absentialucis

How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project? I don’t feel that she does - what Gwen wants you to see, you get. There’s no confusion with that.

What is your character afraid of? Death. 

Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale? About minus 20, if 10 is a kind and polite person. 

If your character could choose a different identity, who would they pick? Gwen likes being herself, but if she had to pick anyone, she’d pick Michelle Kwan. Not that many people can be that graceful on such a dangerous stage.

In what or whom is your character’s greatest faith in? Herself. She’s the only one who she can trust completely.

What was the best thing in your character’s life? There’s nothing really that Gwen has ever said is the best thing in her life, it’s all been a bit mediocre until now.

What was the worst thing in your character’s life? Losing Will. He was her best friend, the first person that she had really allowed herself to trust in a long time, and then he was gone.

What is a favorite flavor or smell of your character?  Gwen is quite easy when it comes to flavours, she likes sweet things, but especially vanilla. The smell of it too, is lovely.

What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character? Nothing really comes to mind for this; Gwen tries to put a lot of her past behind her. Perhaps that one time in Illinois with Lina and November... @angelslietokeepcontrol​

What is your character’s secret wish? There really isn’t anything that she wishes for, unless it’s for the fucking cat to start liking her.

What is your character’s greatest achievement?  Surviving.

What is your character’s deepest regret? Gwen doesn’t really have anything that she regrets; everything that has happened, has shaped her into who she is.

What is your character’s deepest disappointment? Her mother. She’ll never speak about her.

What is your character reluctant to tell people? Her true feelings, as mentioned above, and anything to do with her past. Gwen likes to keep it all close to her chest.

What is your character hiding from themselves? That she’s really not as mean as she makes out to be.

What makes this character angry? What calms them? Anything and everything can spark Gwen, I think that’s just a product of being a child of Ares. Calming measures come in the form of exercise, burning it all off and calming down that way.

List situations in which your character would not have control over themselves. How long do you have? It would be easier to write a list of things that wouldn’t spark her anger...

How strong is your character’s emotions? Controllable? Uncontrollable? Controllable, very much so, unless it’s anger. She doesn’t let her emotions bubble over.

What wakes your character up in the middle of the night? Nightmares of those she cares about dying, and fading away, and the fucking cat jumping on her head. Asshole. 

Describe a recurring dream and/or nightmare. Losing people that she cares about are a reoccurring nightmare that she has. Familiar faces disappearing into the darkness.

Describe your character’s family. The family that Gwen grew up with are nothing to her. Her half siblings however are her little rock here on the island. The only people that she allows herself to relax around, and care about. 

Name your character’s favourite person and why. It has to be Gianna. Gwen at first wanted to push the girl away, and yet she found herself time and time being made to do things by the younger girl and she’s grown to love her far too much. 

How many friends does your character have? Gwen could count them on one hand, and wouldn’t need all of her fingers to do so. She really doesn’t have ‘friends.’

How many friends does your character want? She’s fine with what she has. Of course, a few more wouldn’t go amiss, but Gwen isn’t the sort of person to put herself out there and make friends with people. 

How would a friend or close relative describe your character? A hard shell with a warm centre once you get past it. But Gwen would tell any friend of hers to never say that.

Who depends on your character? Why? Ginger the cat is the only person that really depends on Gwen.

Who does your character most want to please? Why? No-one. Gwen doesn’t care about pleasing people, she’s just being herself.

How does your character feel about sex? She’ll take it when it comes, and enjoys it of course, but it usually comes with strings that she can’t be bothered with.

How does your character feel about romantic relationships? Gwen has no time for them.  No-one has touched her heart in a long time.

If your character had to live in utter seclusion, what six items would they bring? A punch bag, a comfy duvet, a set of gym clothes, as much wine as she could bring, a bean bag chair, and Ginger the cat - you didn’t say no animals.

What is your character’s most noticeable trait and most noticeable physical feature? Her resting bitch face, and her stone cold facade. 

How does your character feel about work? Gwen is very lucky to work teaching self defence - it’s something which she enjoys, and something which she hopes can help some of the other people on the island who may be more at risk.

Write one headcanon. Gwen is very good at turning anything into a weapon. A book, a spoon, a branch - you name it, she can tell you a way that it can be used to hurt another human being. 

Write one additional thing about your character. Gwen’s favourite flowers are orchids, and she absolutely hates the sound of windchimes. Who the fuck has windchimes?

[pinkdogplushie]

Sanders Sides Headcanons: animal traits and the concept of "darkening"

Anyone who likes Sanders Sides and doesn't live under a rock knows that the Dark Sides possess animal traits and motifs. Let's see:

Janus's animal is the snake. It's quite clear just by looking at him: half of his face is covered in scales, one of his eyes is snake-like, a two-headed snake is his symbol, etc.

Remus's animal is the octopus. This is not as obvious as with Janus, but his symbol features octopus tentacles and his costume has green octopus-like details.

Virgil is the spider. While this hasn't been shown on the show, it's a popular fanon, and there's plenty of fanart of Virgil with spider traits (multiple eyes, spider legs, fangs etc.). Aside from that, spider imagery tends to be seen around Virgil: his room is full of spider webs, he has a (toy) pet spider, his curtains have spiders printed on them, he hisses, etc.

However, recently we've seen that animal traits are not exclusive to Dark Sides: Patton, in a great moment of stress, transformed into a giant frog. While this was just to keep with the running gag of Patton's love for Frogger, it's also the first time we've seen a Light Side explicitly taking animal traits. Nevertheless, we must analyze the context where these traits were revealed.

Which takes us to the concept of "darkening".

To discuss darkening, we must see what exactly is a 'dark' Side.

Dark doesn't mean "evil", or at least not irredeemable evil. All Sides mean well and want to help Thomas or get more recognition. Yes, even trash boi Remus.

What dark means is "counterproductive". Even if they mean well, Dark Sides don't seem to help Thomas; or at least, not in an obvious way.

Janus wants Thomas to take care of himself, and that's a noble endeavor; but he still prefers sabotage and manipulation to being upfront with his intentions and helping straightforwardly, which led to Thomas making bad decisions and being confused by his actions. It was only when Janus was actually honest and worked with the other Sides instead of against them that Thomas finally understood what he was trying to do and the others (sans Roman and Virgil) felt more at ease with him around.

Remus wants Thomas to acknowledge the dark parts of himself and be more risqué with his creative content; but he doesn't understand that the reason Thomas doesn't want to acknowledge the thoughts Remus produces is because they disturb him, and it's not that he doesn't want to delve into more "edgy" stuff, but he'd rather approach them from a more serious and philosophical angle. Thomas (both Sanders Sides Thomas and real life Thomas) doesn't shy away from discussing mental health issues, showing the impact of a religious upbringing in a person's moral code, researching topics like intrusive thoughts and the ambiguity of selfishness, or even showing himself and his friends (and Leslie Odom Jr.) dying in the name of being 'altruistic'. Remus just doesn't understand that, and that probably has to do with the fact Roman took King Creativity's moral compass when the Moral Split happened, resulting in Roman being mindful of people's sensibilities and Remus being completely amoral.

Finally, Virgil, prior to reconciling with Thomas and the Light Sides, only wanted to protect his charge, and still does; but acting antagonistic and scaring all the others so they'd pay attention to him only worked against him: Logan didn't understand him, neither Janus nor Remus took him seriously, and Thomas and Roman resented him for doing his job. Sure, most of the blow came from the others not really appreciating Virgil or making the effort of understanding his actions, but part of it - as he himself admitted - was Virgil acting scary so he would be listened to. The moment Thomas actually understood his function and accepted him just the way he is, Virgil eased up and started to relax around the others, leading his input to be seen as helpful and he himself to try and keep a more friendly stance towards the others.

So, having established that, to Sides, being dark is being counterproductive towards the charge (Thomas), we can say that "darkening" is the process of a Side accidentally or deliberately being unhelpful to the point Thomas is badly hurt, at least from their perspective. Darkening is a corruption or bastardization of a Side's core function caused by incredible stress and confusion: when a Side doesn't know what to do anymore, when everything they do or say is wrong, their own domain of thought turns against them and transforms them into an extreme version of themselves.

Darkening is like a Steven Universe corruption or magical girls witching out: despair, stress and confusion warp a Side's mind until they don't know who they are anymore, and their state of mind is reflected in their physical form.

Which brings us back to animal traits.

Because what happens when Patton finally has enough and refuses to listen to more moral dilemmas?

He gains animal traits, just like 'dark' Sides have. He becomes unhelpful, useless (from his own perspective). Patton darkens in that moment. Darkening is a fall from grace.

You know who else become animal-like when they fall from grace?

Christian demons.

That's right, folks: Remus is not the only one who reflects Thomas's Catholic upbringing. Subconsciously, all Sides are bound by religious beliefs, and these affect them when they're at their lowest. Patton, being the one who received and internalized the Catholic moral code when Thomas was growing up, is the first to show how 'falling from grace' affects a Side's physical form.

When an angel falls and becomes a demon, they gain animal traits to reflect their more violent and primal nature (ignoring the fact many of these demons had actually been Pagan deities before Chistianity took them and turned them into incarnations of evil). This also comes (at least, according to Good Omens, I don't know much of real-life demonology) with a change of name. Fanon gives different names to Light Sides's dark versions: @parano-vigilant-snake-boy, in response to my "King Creativity Rex" theory, called dark! Roman Burnout.

So, in short, when a Side (again, and I cannot stress this enough, from their point of view) fails to live up to Thomas's needs, they fall from his grace. They turn from guardian angels to demons and adopt the traits of such. They darken. Those who never believed themselves to be angels in the first place, like Janus, Remus and Virgil, adopt the traits from the get-go. It must also be noted that the animals that the Sides adopt are regarded as demonic or spooky, such as snakes, octopuses and spiders.

With all this said, what would other Sides' dark forms be if they believed they've fallen from grace?

Patton, as seen, takes on frog traits. Frogs, or rather toads, have been regarded as demonic animals: one of demon king Bael's forms is that of a toad. It probably has to do with their rather unpleasant appearance. There's a post here on Tumblr (I don't remember the author, please tell me if you're it or know who it is) that says that some frogs have heart-shaped pupils, which suits our sweet boi Patton. His name, based on his extreme, insane altruism and to keep with the religious themes, would be something along the lines of Martyrdom.

Logan takes on owl traits. This has been already explored in @parano--vigilant reverse au. The owl is considered an animal of wisdom: one of the goddess Athena's atributes was the owl, and the character of Owl in Winnie the Pooh is supposed to be wise (but kinda falls short). However, the owl has also been considered a demonic animal: Great Prince of Hell Stolas was depicted in the Ars Goetia as a crowned owl with long legs. In the Middle Ages, certain types of knowledge, like medicine and astronomy (the latter of which Logan adores) were forbidden because they were 'demonic' in nature. So, in a certain way, the owl also represents forbidden knowledge, and being a creature of the night only adds to the spookyness. Logan would relate a lot to the owl, given the others often don't want to listen to him or don't like what he says because it's the cold, hard truth. His name would probably be something along the lines of Forbidden or Secret Knowledge, if anything to reflect an attitude of 'I know something that you don't' or 'I could tell you but I don't want to'. His owl imagery might also be related to Thomas's love of Disney and based on the character of Owl.

Roman takes on goat and/or ram traits. Not only are these common traits for demons (including Lucifer himself), but goats also represent the wild, untamed and lustful side of humanity. Fauns and satyrs, for example, were half-goat mythological creatures that spent their time chasing women and accompanying the god of hedonism himself, Dyonisus. Roman is Thomas's passionate and fanciful side who likes to indulge and enjoy the pleasures of life, as well as the most romantic and the most concerned with courting Thomas's crushes. Besides, you need to be pretty extra to give yourself goat and/or ram horns. His name would vary depending on how rejection affects him: he could turn into Wrath or Revenge if he lets his more fiery side take hold, or he could turn into Burnout if he finally gives up and refuses to help Thomas anymore after his charge seemingly betrayed him.

The Orange Side has been headcanonned around as a butterfly. Depending on his nature, this could go two ways: if he's an independent Side, then he would be a moth, keeping up with the spoopy theme; if he turns out to be King Creativity/Rex (please visit the post with my theory of who the orange Side will be), then he would probably be a butterfly, the animal of metamorphosis (reflects how Rex is the fusion of Roman and Remus) and a 'pretty', flashy counterpart to the rather drab moth, reflecting how extra the Creativitwins are and how detached from both the Dark and Light Sides he is (because he's a mix of both, he gets to pick an animal, like a Dark Side, but he gets a non-demonic or spooky one, suited for a non-darkened Light Side).

Hoo wee, that was a long one. This might be just baloney, but please tell me what you think. If you've made it this far, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I spent a lot of time in this theory.

[bahboh1004]

Lessa 3 Ch 21 and status update

So Operation Gstorte Esel has returned. They’re a group of Swiss Germans who translate from Korean to English. The Kr->En translator taught herself korean, got a private tutor, and also took classes in Korea. They used to do Lessa 2 on their own, and at some point worked with me, and then at some point I ended up finishing Lessa 2 on my own. But now that they’re back I think they’ll be doing the cleaning and typesetting in a more normal scanslation style with anime ace and what not. So you won’t have to look at my weird style (I was trying to make the English font/text size resemble the shape of the original korean font/text sizes). 

So far I think I’m mostly just proofing their translations. I’m probably doing extra work in just straight up retranslating the whole ch on my own and then comparing differences, but eh, i’m practicing Korean i guess. And i guess gives me the opportunity to update tumblr. 

This ch has been released on mangadex, but I do have several sections that are very different in meaning compared to what OGE has uploaded. I think they’ll do a correction update soon?  

Baby Lessa~

https://comic.naver.com/webtoon/detail.nhn?titleId=603159&no=133

1.     a. I will surely repay this.          s: patter 2.     a. Are you alright. 3.          s: tremble tremble          21 Memories of God 4.          s: chirp chirp chirp 5.          s: rip 6.     a. I'm fine.          s: sniffle     b. You're the one that's injured. 7.     a. I am also fine.     b. Do not worry about it.          s: pat.. 8.     a. You're not okay...! You've gotten this hurt... 9.     a. Truly     b. Did you not see? Since just as you said, I am not human.     c. Something like this is nothing. 10.     a. Still... still... 11.     a. I'm sorry. You got hurt because of me. 12.     a. If it's for my younger siblings, I thought I wouldn't be afraid of anything.     b. I was so scared. I thought I was going to die.          s: ! 13.     a. Tell me your name.          s: slip     b. I won't forget this favor. 14.     a. Your hand's all scratched up.     b. You certainly have struggled through life.          s: chirp chirp chirp     c. No fault lies with you. I simply wanted to help this you who's lived such a life. 15.     a. 'Lessa' is my name. 16.     a. Lessa... I'll remember that. 17.     a. Such a thing happened, but with seeing you so kind and dream-like, that place is still the most beautiful forest.     b. 'Lessa' I vowed in my heart to remember that name for the rest of my life     c. Yes. You didn't change.     d. But perhaps my vow couldn't help but change. 18.     a. ..is bullshXt!!!     b. You crazy!!          s: flails in embarrassment! 19.     a. Die!! Die~!!! Past me!!          s: curdle, curl     b. saying stuff like "pretty forest"!! 20.     a. Ah... It's not me; it's not me; I don't want to remember~!! 21.          s: !!     a. It's definitely a good thing for humans not to remember their past lives!! 22.     a. But...Where this.     b. Did you wake up? 'Lid'     c. !! 23.     a. Who the hell is 'Lid'!! Panda bastard!!          s: fling     b. Who else but you. 24.     a. The apostles will have seen everything inside your head about now.          s: flump     b. The conversation you had with Luciel and the memories of your past. 25.     a. But since I don't have a white crown, I won't be able to know it.     b. So I will ask one thing. 26.     a. Why did you stab Lord Lessa?          s: flinch 27.     a. That is...     b. ...... 28.     a. Wait!!     b. Not knowing is your own fault for taking off the white crown! Why do I have to tell you?!     c. Why are _you_ getting angry.          s: bang 29.     a. I have been with Lord Lessa since his infancy. 30     a. When he was not a god, lacking any beliefs,     b. Ever since he was a small goat. 31.     a. there is no vessel as clear as an animal.     b. That goat was special. Because it was filled with 'Immaculate Virtue.'     c. No matter how much he said he had fallen short...     d. his was a far cry from that of humans. 32.     a. No matter how I think about it, there's no way that he wronged you to the point of receiving that sort of treatment from you in return.     b. ...I know! 33.     a. ......     b. I invited Lessa my home. That... day.     c. I mean the day that Lessa died. 34.     a. It was a normal afternoon. 35.     a. Lessa for some reason... was there earlier than me who went out to get stuff for dinner. 36.     a. ...there was an inexplicable sight.          s: boom 37.     a. I don't remember very well...          s: badump badump badump     b. because he had to repay the favor? 38.     a. I will surely repay you. 39.          s: crunch 40.          s: crunch 41.          s: crunch 42.     a. Shouldn't I repay the wolves that spared you?          s: badump     b. Did Lessa... say something like that...? 43.          s: badump     a. Were those wolves...?          s: badump     b. Was that truly Lessa? 44.     a. You meeting Lessa was not a coincidence nor because you were anything special.     b. It was because I chose Barry. 45.     a. Uwaaaaah 46.     a. Snap out of it.          s: tap     b. It's my fault. When I didn't even see it properly... 47.     a. Luciel is the apostle of keys. It is a simple matter for him to open up human subconsciousness and manipulate it.     b. It's a matter of course that the human Diane could not help but do it. 48.     a. Therefore, I do not put the blame on you for that incident. 49.     a. I am just curious.     b. What sort of existence the god Lessa is to you humans. 50.     a. What they expected and what they desired of that infinite virtue.          s: flinch 51.     a. As a human trying to use Lord Lessa's good will, how are you any different from Ares?     b. You may have been looking for the reason for your loss in Lessa.     c. How are you now? Are you fighting along side him to earn forgiveness? 52.     a. No!!          s: bang 53.     a. It doesn't matter whether or not I get something like forgiveness!!     b. You ask, what I'm hoping from him?! 54.     a. Stop sacrificing.     b. Please, I wish that you would become happy. 55.     a. I don't like it anymore... seeing that guy always so easily sacrificing himself.     b. And going around as if everything is his fault. I'm tired of it... 56.     a. Even after everything was taken from him, he carries no hate.     b. At some point, I figured out that dumb face was completely empty.     c. if somehow I save this world, 57.     a. I want to give him     b. 'Life'. 58.     a. Your words are correct. He has nothing. 59.     a. That is the god 'Lessa'.     b. That you wish for him to have something ordinary is also your greed. 60.          s: !     a. However, interestingly, I am of the same mind. That may be Lessa's power. 61.     a. But I do not sympathize with him. 62.     a. You need to realize on a deeper level.     b. Look at him from a higher level.     c. Why Lord 'Ra' relied on him.     d. That is due to the his great virtue. 63.     a. You cannot do it alone.     b. Lord Lessa cannot do it alone either. 64.     a. If the things you long for are noble,     b. if you were sincere,          s: tap     c. Become strong. 65.     a. Surpass the proxy of god, Mikael, brother.

[ambutasmallhuman]

New Battles

The old gods are not dead.

Their peak of glory is a fragment of the past, but like all legends, they do not belong to the time they were born into.

They belong to the world that remembers,

And no matter how sparse their believers,

They live on.

Perhaps they have been ushered into the corners of humanity,

Rather than the pedestals they once occupied,

But they are there.

And they are watching;

Listening;

Doing.

Hermes; once a messenger, always a messenger.

Except now,

Not for the immortals who sat on top of the world, but for the world they all reside in.

It’s an ugly place;

A land of despair and cruelty and heartbreak

And hate and sin and darkness,

But Hermes, his golden sandals now rusted,

His cheeks now sunken from centuries on the road

Spreads the message to all who need it-

For those who need it is everyone.

Hope is not gone,

He repeats.

Hope is never gone.

Often, the words fall on deaf ears- despair is skilled at blocking out the world

But sometimes-

Sometimes,

They hear.

They lift their heads for a second,

They peer out at the world from underneath heavy lashes,

Searching for the soul with a voice like hope,

And they nod.

That is all Hermes knows he is good for anymore.

That is the only message he needs to deliver.

Artemis, of the moon, of the wild, of the hunt.

Her first love stays constant;

For what change can a speck of green bring to a jewel in the sky?

But she is not someone who can love one thing-

And oh, how her two other great passions have warped with the time.

The wild is no longer what it once was:

The grass is no longer green,

And the forests no longer lush.

The beasts she once hunted and hunted alongside are but memories and imprints in hardened mud.

For them, Artemis wages a daily war.

She is a one woman army, and her defense is of the nature she so loves.

Now, her arrows are rarely aimed at the animals that still inhabit the woods-

And so rarely are they arrows anymore.

The modern era has churned out weapons of steel and ash,

And it is these that Artemis uses to hunt those who wish to hunt her and hers.

Ares, the warrior and the blood shedder,

Now fights a different war from the ones he once delighted in.

Because the wars of the modern day

Are not what they once were

Swords and armor and horses

Traded for guns and bombs and tanks

Battles of purpose and patriotism

Now meaningless, endless,

The means for destruction of this scale

Was never meant for human hands

Or cruel human minds.

This is the war that Ares wages:

He fights everyday,

Steel slashing, blood arcing,

Cutting down the allies he once fought alongside

But now they are robots,

Zombies for a cause they don’t know about,

A government they do not trust.

Ares, no longer bloodthirsty, no longer triumphant,

Urges an end to the war.

But war is no longer his domain.

Poseidon, ruler of the seas, lover of the oceans

Now presides over a polluted kingdom

His subjects are dead or dying

His castles of coral and seaweed

Are being drowned alive by the filth that the world above churns out

Endless is his sadness, his rage, his helplessness

For he should have seen this coming

Industry was never meant to be a gift to the god of the sea

Just a discreet poison

No one thought would kill until it did.

Waves still bob and bicker,

But their life is not so cheery;

With it bobs islands of plastic and waste

Slick with rainbows of black

Strung with clear plastic nets

That entrap and ensnare and murder the innocent

There is so little he can do-

For he is but one against the uncaring of many

But each and every day is spent working

In the protection of the home that he is slowly losing.

Hera, the eternal mother, the constant wife, the queen of a time long gone

Her people,

Those who look up to her and those who she watches over,

Have seen the change of a century.

Earned, through blood and tears and fists and passion,

Their rights,

Their lives,

Their freedom.

She, worn and tired,

Smiles,

For her people have never been so much.

Never have they had what they do now.

But where there are victors,

There are losers, and there are the spiteful,

And no matter how little these losers have truly lost,

They feel cheated

Out of something that was never theirs.

They will never be satisfied with less,

The way her people once had to be.

But they have never had to fight the battles

That her people did,

And so although she has lost her prime, her beauty, her queendom,

She holds on to her place,

If not for herself,

For those who look to her,

For the true capacity of a woman.

Apollo, ever bright, ever center, ever joyous,

Still lives and dies each day for his spot in the sun

For a shadow of the admiration,

The adoration,

The praise

He was once showered with.

But his audiences now don’t care for his tricks,

His songs, his eyes, his hair, his hands.

They don’t care for intangible beauty,

For fleeting glimmers,

They hand in crumpled bills for soiled needles,

Exchange smoking pipes in back allies,

Hide away in stalls of bathrooms to fill their veins

With false ecstasy.

They paste smiles on their face, they let loose their mind,

They close their eyes and they pretend

At happiness.

But he knows that they are not truly happy,

They haven’t known how to do so in a long time.

He wants them to look at him again,

Want them to beam at him again with sunshine in their hair and mist in their eyes,

But more than anything, he wants them to feel the truth of joy.

To free their minds from chemicals of pretense,

To leave behind their smokes and their powders and their juices.

To join him in the sun,

Where it is warm and real.

Aphrodite, worshipped for beauty, for passion,

Knows what love is.

She was born with it curling through her blood like sea foam,

With the taste of it on her tongue,

With the knowledge of its truth secure in her palms.

She knows love better than she will ever know herself,

And she knows that love comes in so many forms.

The love between a little girl and a little boy,

Destined for greater things, but not yet.

The love between a woman and her wife of twenty-nine years,

A happy ending come to fruition.

The love between a man who doesn’t know it yet, and the man he is to meet later that day,

Unexpected, but beautiful; always beautiful.

The love between the uncertain teen and their breezy, blossoming best friend,

A love not without consequences,

Not without hate,

Not with the judgement of those who think they deserve such an opinion,

But love,

Nonetheless.

Love has been distorted into a commodity to be controlled by the same people who control markets,

Who control the government,

And she seeks to right their misunderstandings.

She no longer has the leisure to play her twisted games of love,

For there are far more twisted forces at work against her.

She has young lovers to reassure,

And obstinate critics to critique.

Love is love is love, she says.

No one would know better than she does.

Athena, the wise, the knowing,

sees the world for what it is.

In shades of gray and platinum and gunmetal and steel,

Everchanging and subtle,

A far cry from the bars of black and white that media advertises it as.

She knows that there is no good and no bad,

No true wrong and no true right.

There is only objectivity and subjectivity,

Each beholder for themselves.

Truth is different for each person,

And no one platform, no one channel, no one being, no one organization

Reserves the right to say otherwise.

She holds this simple message close to her heart,

Spreads it as far as she can reach.

But the media, the government,

Has technology that enables their spindly fingers to reach further.

And although her knowledge is more absolute than theirs can fathom,

Their webs of lies and false truths

Are too far integrated into the current world.

It is all she can do now,

To open the eyes of the few people still willing

To see beyond the film of mass society,

To bring change with one voice at a time.

Hephaestus; a craftsman once worshipped for creativity

Finds no hint of his old domain in the world of industry.

The artists, the writers, the dreamers,

Have fallen to the fringe of society,

Their crafts lost to the gears and machines

Of a modern age,

Where assembly lines reign true

And creations are spared no second glances and no loving care.

It is these careers of steel and paper and ball-point pens,

That shape the status quo,

That grinds edges out through a cookie cutter

Into the shape of a worker.

There is conformity,

Or there is poverty.

Within these solid black lines, there is no room

For the creativity that Hephaestus so treasured.

There is no room for flowing lines or vivid colors or segments of dreams

There is only the reality of the workplace,

And for some, the few that Hephaestus can get to,

The quiet peace of home and creation,

And the tidbits of inspiration that flare through the smog.

The world, he argues,

May now run on machinery and evenness and guidelines,

But no efficiency will ever replace the capacities of a human mind.

Hades, robed in darkness and throned on death,

Is sick, and he is tired.

Tired of the mass destruction that opens his gates,

Tired of the empty gazes and protruding ribs,

Tired of the constant stream of the dead that envelop his kingdom

In grief and hate and sorrow

On a scale he has never seen before.

But most of all,

He is tired,

Not of the dead,

But of the living.

Of the letters,

The prayers,

The pleas,

Of the living who wish they were not living at all.

Never has he seen his rivers so full of blood,

Never has he seen his dreams so full of begging youth and the disillusioned.

Never has he been asked,

So frequently,

To bestow the kiss of death,

To those who can no longer bear the gift-

The penance-

Of living.

It is a shame, a monstrosity, a tragedy-

That the world above has become a place far worse

Than the one below,

And that was never his intention.

His domain was meant to be the realm of after,

Not the final destination.

With shaken, white, crumpled hands,

He rejects as many of the pleas as he can

Begs, as he never has before,

For them to reconsider.

But sometimes,

They are too stubborn and the world of the living too cruel

And they find their way down

To him instead.

In all his years,

He has never seen so many smiles when they see his face

And every one

Breaks his heart.

Dionysus, still never seen without a wineglass in hands,

Now sits on the sidelines,

Swishes the liquid within his glass,

And does not take a sip.

Instead, he watches as young and old alike

Stumble into his bars,

Fill their livers with the red and silver bubbles

Of forget,

And lean away from their every day selves.

Away from their true selves.

He does not join in,

Even when they begin to dance

And laugh

And sing and shriek and rejoice,

Because he sees through their pretenses,

Sees through their attempt at happiness.

He was once one of them,

You see,

Before he realized that the greatest demons

Are the ones within.

He knows that no matter how much

They drink or laugh or try,

There is no escaping their reality

And no escaping the truths.

And so he tips his wineglass in their direction,

Toats their joy

And grieves for the tears they cannot shed.

Zeus, strong-willed and brave-hearted,

Has come to realize

Over the course of thousands up thousands of years,

His mistakes.

He knows what he has done wrong,

Has reflected on the personal ambitions

He once put above the greater good

The selfish desires

He once put above his otherworldly duties.

His days are long past gone,

And his mistakes,

Forever etched in the unforgiving hands of time,

Are past fixing.

But he looks around at the millions of heartbeats that surround him,

And wish that they too,

Could have the time he’d needed

To rectify their wrongs.

He has learned that nothing is permanent

Not his glory,

Not his crown,

Not even his faults.

But they do not have his time nor his immortality

To ponder this.

They only have their tomorrows,

And he can only hope that they will use

Those precious days.

And perhaps most forgotten of all,

Forgotten even when those who shared her blood

Had their spotlights.

Is Hestia.

She sits at home,

Content with her fire,

Her clotheslines,

Her picture frames.

She is alone again,

As she so often is,

Left behind to protect the home that so many have forgone

In search of gold and glory.

Everyone wants something,

Everyone wants to be more than what they are and who they were,

And she encourages these desires,

With tokens of luck and soft smiles.

But for all that they dream and hope and pursue,

She wants them to remember that there is always a place for them to return to,

A home where they belong.

There is cruelty in the world,

Unjustice,

Inequality,

And although ambition is a hearty, wonderful thing,

So too,

Is home.

The world is not what it once was,

Pockmarked as it has become.

And the old gods,

Though not what they were before,

Have adapted to fight new battles,

Losing as they may be.

Hope is frightened and small,

Nature is being cut down with ruthless efficiency,

War has spiraled out of everyone’s control,

Oceans fill with murky waste and the scent of death,

Womens’ rights are being wrestled with in an endless game of tug-of-war,

Chemicals create false happiness and temporary relief,

Love is fastened beneath lock and key,

Truth is distorted through layers of looking glass,

Creativity is stifled beneath stainless steel and cookie-cutters,

Life is harder to bear than the loss of it,

Self-expression hides itself away,

And mistakes go unrectified as the days drag on.

Even the old gods are trying to save the new world,

But they are twelve,

And that is not enough.

[danbensen]

…or how tracking my life told me I was abusing coffee and social media

So there I was, my nails digging into my palms, my right molars pressed into each other. The air hissed in through my nose as my vision narrowed to a point. It was like hurtling down a roller-coaster. It was was terrifying, and I had no idea why it was happening.

I’d be doing nothing especially ominous – sitting down on the couch, carrying my younger daughter, thinking about bread – and suddenly I’d be gripped by this intense sensation of danger. BREAD! The image of a whole-grain loaf gained the mass of a church bell. DOOM! It rang. Toll the yeasty knell, oh brazen fate, for all men shall one day die. Die, oh, mortal flesh. Die and meet thy baker. (whoo! I am so sorry about that pun. Deep breaths now…)

Tiny drops of steam Ebb and flow before the light With each of my breaths.

It was ridiculous, but of course knowing that it was ridiculous didn’t help. I was like a cat, freaking out for no reason. Or was there no reason? Aren’t I supposed to listen to my body, now that I’m meditating and whatnot? But what exactly was my body supposed to be telling me? Avoid carbs? Run from the couch? Something about my daughter…? Yeah, If I searched hard enough for a reason to be terrified, I’d surely find one. Now there’s a reason for fear.

So I meditated more. I stopped using social media. I took my daughters to the park and watched the sky as it changed from brass to rose and the street lights blinked on. I talked to Pavlina. And I realized that over the course of the past month, I’d gone from drinking two cups of coffee a day to four.

The trees turn black and The sky, indescribable. Look up and it’s changed.

Scheduling is hard. My older daughter’s in first grade now, and school starts at 8:10 in the Center. The younger one’s in kindergarten, which starts at 8:30 in Levski G. At some point, it would be nice if Pavlina and I could go to work, which is back in the Center. If we want to have breakfast and drink our coffee in peace, we need to wake up at 6:15. Three hours later, I’m finally in the office and I’m tired. That scares me because I associate being tired with being sick. Fatigue=death.

I’m supposed to listen to my body, but my body is a stupid animal. It’s not going to say, “you’re drinking too much coffee.” It says “coffee reminds me of being happy!” and “not being productive scares me!” It says “I’m tired! I must have cancer again!” It’s up to me to keep track of what I’m doing, cut out the distractions, and give myself enough mental room to notice the patterns.

Right. So that’s why I’m not doing social media any more. Because part of the reason I was too distracted to notice I was drinking too much coffee was the last newsletter I wrote. I posted it on facebook, which made me want to check facebook for likes and comments. And once I was on facebook, why not see what other people are posting? Oh. Oh. That’s what they’re posting. Oh no.

I debated writing this explanation. Why not just stop using social media? Why talk about it on social media? But my litmus test for whether I should write something is “will this help people?” Maybe this is helpful: social media is distracting and depressing. It fills my head with noise. Maybe you have the same problem and this is the solution.

The sky at seven The color of hope that hurts And the crying swifts

I’ll continue to post my work on my website (including these newsletters) and mirror or link to those posts on Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook. Readers are welcome to like and comment, but I’ll only read those comments once a week (Friday seems like a good day). Comments on my website, PMs, and emails to me will get my attention earlier. I won’t read any content that isn’t sent personally to me or that I didn’t sign up for. Hopefully that means I’ll still get news from people I care about, but not about tragedies that I have no power to solve. That way, I can continue to function from hour to hour.

What do you think? Is this going to work? Can I stay connected without sacrificing my mental health? Let me know in the comments. Or even better, email me.

In other news, I had some good writing stuff happen this month. Interchange has hit its 2/3 mark and, more importantly, its rhythm. I’ve managed to block off a fairly reliable 90-minute chunk of time in the mornings, which I use to meditate and then “speedwrite,” which means writing without thinking about what I’m doing. I generally end up with a single element of a scene, such as the conversation the characters are having, how they feel, what’s going on in the environment, or what actions the characters are taking.

Then I usually have some time after lunch (and my second and final coffee), and I can layer those scene-pieces onto each other and smooth the edges. If I have more time, I do research, which usually involves shooting messages to generous experts. In this way, the inestimable and inspiring Thomas Duffy helped me tie a ribbon around the center of my book, in which a biologist’s subconscious belief that she owns the environment she’s studying leads her to destroy it. As the forest crumbles around her, she blames herself…then makes exactly the wrong decision about what to do next. Yeah! Fiction! Thomas, I’m going to send you roses or cacti or something.

Another new tradition I’ve instituted is spending my Friday mornings not working on Interchange. It’s a little release of pressure, a chance to play and remind myself that writing isn’t just another chore I have to do. The first week, it was a short story. That one turned out so well, I’m going to try to publish it. It’s called “The Sales Event” and it’s about smart phones and general relativity. Do you want to beta-reader it?

I got another couple of “no”s from publishers about The Sultan’s Enchanter, but one of them was that very gratifying “no” that comes at the head of a long list of things I could do to fix the story. Making those fixes will be educational, even if that particular publisher still passes. Wealthgiver is rather like The Sultan’s Enchanter, after all, and the lessons I learn from one will be important for the other. The world needs more books about amoral Balkan people!

Yeah, I’m still working on Wealthgiver’s neo-Thracian language. I even posted a little of it on Tumblr. But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten my little goats!

Kapt kapēnon ainē kesa / byźai darsai ypo dēsâ. Ēbron, aiźi, byźâs kâ / skalmon, bleptē, bystâs kâ, As tae yper iatśikan / kapâ pe ta ve abbrinkan.

There were at one time / brave goats under heaven. A kid, a nanny, and a billy goat / clever, loyal, and tough, Who would dance up / a hill for to make themselves fat.

Dâ ispilsen opē rinkon strymē / parân ân, śân târâ dymâ. Iśē iserpa źēryntē / źymlē mērē urdēnē. Byźulâs ada pyrân źilmân / dâ bolvarâs pia rhobton saimân.

But a quick-flowing river blocked / the path with an evil guard. There coiled a beast / a great water-dragon. A goat will eat green grains / but a serpent will slurp blood

Peskēnon ērga ēbron do. / Pliskon ērga śân negō. Źymlē zē semân iglytsa. / “Kis ēs tu?” Neston iglâtsa. “Semâs manon ēm ēźo.” / “San ar ēsti? Abadam so!”

First comes the kid. / It splashes with its hooves. The dragon heard this. / “Who are you?” she roared. “This only am I.” / “Is it so? I will eat you up!”

Things are heating up! I’m still not entirely comfortable with the articles and deitics, but I do like that last line. And the orthography is shaping up nicely. I love googly things over letters.

Another potential conlanging project for that other hundred years I plan to live: Western Hellenism. What if the Greeks had conquered Iberia?

And finally, PROTECTOR! This is the comic project I’ve been working on for literally six years. Words by me and Simon Roy, inks by Atryom Trakhanov, colors by Jason Wordie, and lettering by Hassan Otsmane-Elhadu. What a crazy, fun, glorious process this collaboration was!

Protector is a post-apocalyptic scifi story about a slave who stumbles across “a demon of the Profligate Age,” a military cyborg who’s been in hibernation for the past thousand years. The post-human robots who are terraforming the Earth are not amused, and send in some sweaty future-vikings to put a stop to these shenanigans.

There will be five issues, and issue one comes out in January. If you’re interested, please order a copy, or better yet, tell your local comic or book store to order lots of copies! Give us some numbers that will convince Image to ask for a sequel

And finally, some books and stuff

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown – this book wasn’t as transformative for me as it could have been because I’ve read Brown before and I already agree with her. Shame is bad. Vulnerability is the cure. Bam. What I like about Brown is that she collects good data, lets it prove her wrong, and suggests how the lessons from the data can be usefully applied. It’s not just science, it’s engineering.

Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold – I think this was the third read. What happens when GM humans become obsolete? What happens when an engineer has a spiritual epiphany? It wasn’t quite as much fun as some of Bujold’s other science fiction, but it has a lot of heart.

Spooky Action at a Distance by George Musser – an excellent physics book, examining the concept of space, which lies at the center of the contradictions of relativity and quantum physics. If space didn’t exist, the universe would be chaos, but a lot of experiments only make sense if space _doesn’t_ exist. Great stuff, and it inspired that short story I’m so proud of.

Death by Water by Kerry Greenwood – a refreshing splash of chilly New Zealand sea spray. Phryne pursues a jewel thief and has a little bit of sex, but a lot of good food, drink, and dancing. There’s also a hakka.

Wicked Prey by John Sandford – it was actually a little boring. The police’s side of the story didn’t hold up as well as the criminals’. But this is a relatively early book in the series, which means Sandford is improving.

The Upright Go Pro – it’s a little device that you glue to your upper back so it will buzz at you when you slouch. Immediately after I put it on, I realized I have little tiny tyrannosaurus arms that don’t reach any table or counter-top. It ran out of batteries one day and man did my back hurt that night. So I guess it’s working.

Gravity by Against the Current and Brighter by Patent Pending – Good Interchange music.

Be Kind to Yourself by Andrew Peterson – It makes me feel better.

Song of Durin by Clamavi De Profundis – I haven’t gotten goosebumps from a song in a long time. It’s about dwarves.

The Twits by Roald Dahl – I read it to my older daughter and boy howdy did Roald Dahl know how to write for children. Everything seems utterly ridiculous but it all somehow satisfies. Like eating dirt cake.

Steven Universe – My younger daughter found me rewatching it on my phone and made me cast it on the big TV. Now it’s all “I wanna watch Steeben dabout a Giant Woman. I’m Pearl.” No, younger daughter, you are not Pearl. Pearl is my older daughter. My younger daughter is Amethyst. Nobody is more Amethyst than my younger daughter. (I’m Peridot)