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evangelical04 · 8 months ago

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A Single Daffodil || 2

Summary: Getting arranged to be married to your long-time crush wasn't exactly the fairy tale romance you were hoping for. Nor is the dynamic of the marriage, with your husband treating you like you don't exist. But you're going to make this work, whether he cares about you or not. And he definitely doesn't...right?

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Rating: 18+ minors DNI

Word Count: 9.1K

Genre: angst, romance, unrequited love, smut, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, businessman yoongi

Warnings: parental trauma, sibling trauma, toxic parents, unrequited love, explicit language, alcohol usage, yoongi's kind of mean, future smut

Author's Note: hi everyone! it's currently exactly 2am for me lol but I wanted to get this chapter out today! i was hoping to having the wedding happen but I like it more for the next chapter. all the support has been so overwhelming and amazing, thank you guys so much for all the love!! i appreciate it so much and I'm grateful that you all are so supportive, especially for my first ever fic. i really hope you guys enjoy this chapter! also, just let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!

Taglist:

@yoongisducky @kam9404 @sumzysworld @tarahardcore @viankiss @babystarcandylovejk @ktownshizzle @futuristicenemychaos @igot7fairlyoddparents @baechugff @pb89nv @peachytokki @ratherbfangirling

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You could feel your eyes glazing over with the amount of time you’d spent staring at your computer screen. A quick glance at the clock showed that only a couple hours had passed since you’d arrived at work, and a devastating thirty minutes remained until your lunch break. Rubbing at your tired eyes, you tried to find the energy to resume reviewing the materials your team had sent you, but you came up short.

The wedding planning had been taking a lot out of you the past couple of months, even though your mother wasn’t letting you decide anything for it anyway. She had been quite clear that all you had to do was show up and that your input wouldn’t be needed. You couldn’t honestly say you had an issue with that, this didn’t feel like your wedding anyway. If it were yours, you would’ve been getting married to someone you love, and crucially, someone who loves you in return.

But that wasn’t in the cards for you and you knew that well, so you went along with your mother’s planning placidly, agreeing to almost everything she mentioned and getting ignored on things you didn’t. It left you exhausted, both physically and emotionally. It felt like an out-of-body experience every time your mother pulled you into another appointment for your dress fittings or makeup and hair test runs. You could feel yourself simply going through the motions and just waiting until the appointment was done so you could return to your mundane life.

Not much else had changed, honestly. You were still working, hanging out with your friends on occasion, reading in bed, and watching television in the evenings. The only thing looming over you was the date of the wedding, now only six months away. It felt like an omen, always hovering near you, spiking your heart rate, and making you sweat.

Even your team had noticed your heightened anxiety and expressed their worries to you, especially the youngest, Choi Song Ha. She was a cute, young thing, a fresh face in the industry that you had quickly taken under your wing once you had set eyes on her in the new recruit orientation you visited just over a year ago now. You knew just how quickly the gaming industry ate up and spat out women like clockwork and you didn’t want the same fate for her, so you’d snatched her up into your team. She truly felt like the little sister you’d never had and your bond quickly grew over the months since you’d met. She had picked up on your dampened mood and resolved to leave you small treats of a chip bag or chocolates on your desk every other day or so as a means to cheer you up. She knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t appreciate outright signs of concern or making a scene at work, and you loved her for it.

She had left you a small red ginseng jelly this morning with a doodle of a grumpy cat stuck to it on a post-it note. It made you smile every time you glanced at it.

It kind of reminded you of Yoongi. The two of you hadn’t talked since that night in the restaurant, and you weren’t sure if you even wanted to talk to him. Your mother had given you his number and you’d saved it, but you hadn’t made any move to message him.

“Team leader?”

You turned, snapping out of your daze to face another one of your team members, Yeonsik.

“Yes, Yeonsik,” you responded, trying to appear calm and collected, and not like you were just thinking about your soon-to-be husband who hates you.

“We have the materials from the character graphics department for Plan C ready, it’s in your inbox now. They said that they’re ready to make any changes you want, but they’re worried about the deadline for the second draft,” Yeonsik rambled. He was a nice man, only a few years younger than you, and quite passionate about his job since joining your team two years back, just after you’d become the team lead of Planning Group 1. He had a handsome face with longer, dark hair and bright eyes that were eager to please.

“Okay, thanks for letting me know. Also, good job on keeping Graphics 2 on track, I know they’ve been giving us a hard time with getting the updated designs over. Thanks again,” you said politely, sending him a small smile. Yeonsik beamed in response and returned to his seat happily. You chuckled fondly at his antics before opening the file he’d sent. You loved your team members and you held a high respect for them. You knew you led them well and that they respected you in return. It was a small team, consisting of only five people, including you, but you were content with the group and the dynamic. You often went out for drinks together after work, usually followed by karaoke and at least one member passing out, most often Yeonsik, who would then be picked up by his boyfriend. You were a close-knit group and you couldn’t imagine a better job.

Slowly, Mrs. Min’s words crept back into your mind at the thought of how much you loved your position. Surely, Yoongi wouldn’t expect you to quit your job? You wouldn’t be able to bear it.

No, he said that he would do his thing and you would do yours, you reminded yourself. That’s right, you’d agreed that you wouldn’t interfere in each other’s lives. Except, you hadn’t really agreed, had you? You’d just acquiesced because he’d been in the motion of leaving anyway. You weren’t really sure if that’s what you’d wanted, living separate lives and being married only on paper.

Yoongi’s words rang clear in your head as you gnawed on your lower lip, was this really how this marriage was going to be? The two of you not even acknowledging each other except at galas and parties where you had to appear married? You didn’t want that.

But…if Yoongi did, how much say did you really have? As much as you wanted to make this work, it had to be a two-way street. If Yoongi didn’t want anything to do with you, you would have to accept that and just try to get through this the best you could. You had said to Joohee that day you’d found out, that there’s nothing you can do to stop him.

It felt painful to come to terms with, especially in the environment of your office where you still had to appear professional. Thankfully, you breathed, none of your team members had noticed your mini-mental breakdown.

Your phone buzzed with a new message from Yujin, your mother’s assistant.

From Yang Yujin

Hello Miss Y/N,

Your mother has asked me to confirm your three attendees for your wedding invitations. The invitations will be sent out on Friday night, so please send your three names with their contact information and address to me by then. If possible, please send it at least one day beforehand as Mrs. Seo would like to review them before I send the invitations out.

Additionally, she has set up another meeting for you with Mr. Min Yoongi on Friday, at 6 pm. Please find the location details below.

Please let me know if you need any other information,

Yang Yujin

You sighed, reading over the email again. For one, you honestly didn’t even know who you’d want to invite. You didn’t really have that many friends outside of Joohee, your colleagues, and Jung Hoseok, your friend from college. You knew that Joohee would already be invited, but you weren’t sure about Hoseok. He wasn’t a part of the same social circle as you and Joohee, especially since he didn’t come from a richer family, but you’d met him in college and introduced him to Joohee soon after. The three of you had been practically inseparable during your undergrad but after graduation, the three of you hadn’t met up in person in a while, with Hoseok in Busan for work. You tapped your chin thoughtfully with the eraser end of a pencil, maybe you should send an invite to Hoseok. Suddenly, another thought occurred to you, making the pencil drop from your fingers and onto your lap.

You hadn’t even told Hoseok about Yoongi!

“Damn,” you muttered, making a mental note to call him later today. You’d figure out the other invites later. Your eyes drifted to the second part of the email.

Another meeting, huh? It sounds like it’ll be just the two of us this time. I wonder if he’ll be any different.

A rap of knuckles against your desk brought your attention back in front of you. Song Ha stood beside your chair, looking at you curiously, “It’s lunch, Team Leader. Want to grab something with the team downstairs?”

Shit, you had agreed to grab lunch with Joohee today.

“No, Miss Choi, I’ll be meeting a friend of mine. But you all enjoy your lunch!”

“Alright, have fun!”

The team slowly filed out, discussing amongst themselves what they’d get from the cafeteria today. You almost longed to go with them, but you knew you had to tell Joohee about the email you got.

You could feel a headache coming on.

Sighing, you stood and gathered your things into your tote bag, never having liked purses, and started the walk towards the elevators to reach the quaint cafe across the street you and Joohee liked to frequent.

You had arrived before Joohee, which was to be expected with your office right across and decided to grab a table for both of you. Setting your tote bag in the seat beside you, you read the email once more on your phone. It dragged another sigh out of you before you almost jumped into the air at the sound of Joohee’s voice.

“What’s got you so melancholy?’

You breathed out to calm your heart rate from the mini jumpscare and looked up at her. She was dressed a bit more formal than you in a light blue blouse and dark navy dress pants that fell gracefully in silk around her long legs with a maroon purse hanging from her shoulder. Her office was much more formal than yours, working under her father. Your own office often had team leaders and higher-ups in jeans, the nature of your work making it more casual, so you contrasted her in a simple black sweatshirt and blue jeans.

“I have to meet Yoongi again on Friday.”

“God damn.”

You nodded somberly as she took her seat across from you, “You remember what happened last time? Why does it feel like he’s gonna eat me alive this time?”

Joohee looked at you suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows.

You recoiled, shooting her a glare, “Good God, woman, not like that.”

Joohee relented, waving her hands in surrender, “Okay, well, assume he’ll be the same. Then you won’t be caught off guard. But I think you should still try to get through to him. Maybe, at the very least, you guys can become friends.”

You hummed in agreement, what she was saying made sense. You weren’t exactly hoping for a rom-com drama-like romantic relationship, but being friends wouldn’t be so bad.

A waiter arrived, taking your drink and food orders, and you and Joohee fell back into easy conversation about your jobs and other small gossip. As much as you were trying to pay attention to what Joohee was saying, you couldn’t help your mind returning to Yoongi and his dark eyes scrutinizing you and his cold, biting voice.

“Y/N?”

You focused back into Joohee and her concerned stare dug into you, “What?”

“Are you still thinking about Yoongi?”

You nodded, looking away. You felt bad for not listening to her especially when she had basically given you a solution to your anxiety regarding Friday. You heard her sigh before speaking.

“Listen, Y/N, you can’t stop how he’s going to behave towards you. You can only control how you respond. I think your best bet is to try to tell him you’re not expecting him to treat you like a wife, but you want him to treat you like a friend. Unless that isn’t what you want.”

“No, it is,” you said, keeping yourself from burying your head in your hands, “And you’re right, that’s all I can do. Why didn’t you become a therapist, again?”

Joohee only grinned in response, “I’m too pretty.”

Joohee’s words from earlier echoed in your head for the rest of the workday. Did you really want him to treat you like a friend? Or something more?

You weren’t sure. Of course, you had this half-crush, half-infatuation with the man since you’d met him when you were younger, but marriage was a totally different game. Were you really ready to spend the rest of your life with a man you were attracted to but he couldn’t feel the same?

Maybe he could.

You knocked that thought away as soon as it entered your mind, you shouldn’t be getting your hopes up. You knew that Yoongi was less than happy about the situation and the unfavorable circumstances would only serve to further distance him from you. You would have to be okay with just being friends if that.

As you paced around your apartment later that night, you stopped in front of your dresser in your bedroom. In the third drawer from the top was the handkerchief that Yoongi had given you when you were younger. You had kept it meaning to give it back to him, but you had barely seen him since then, let alone had a moment in private to give it to him.

Most of your interactions had been minimal conversations at parties and galas, often accompanied by Joohee and Seokjin. You couldn’t recall a time when Yoongi had actually talked to you directly in any of those scenarios. So why did your crush persist?

Maybe it was the innocence of your first meeting, the cliche of it all. You, small, sad, and alone, and Yoongi, showing up like your knight in shining armor. You had had a fascination with him since then, always trying to seek out his silhouette or pitch-black hair at gatherings afterward. Yet, he never approached you alone, nor did you make an attempt to do so yourself. You had called it an infatuation with Joohee because it really was, you didn’t really know anything about him, much less had a full conversation with him. Even when you were in a group with him, Seokjin, and Joohee, he would barely acknowledge you.

Not that he was obligated to.

You fell back onto your bed and stared up at the ceiling, letting out a soft grunt when you hit the mattress. Would you be able to survive actually getting to know Yoongi? Your greatest fear was that you would fall in love with him, you were basically already primed for it. And that would not work out, you knew that, and you refused to consider any other outcome.

You couldn’t afford to get your hopes up.

Turning on your side, you could feel your thoughts drift to your few interactions with him growing up. He had always been polite, but cold. The most he’d said to you was a curt greeting and the barest of small talk. The only other interactions you’d really had were your first meeting and hearing about his escapades through the grapevine, mainly Joohee. Nonetheless, you found yourself infatuated, your eyes finding his slightly round cheeks and pouty lips inevitably. What would life be like once you got married?

You tried to imagine yourself in a domestic setting with Yoongi but quickly shut that down, that would only bring up unwanted feelings. You considered whether or not he would continue seeing other people after you were married. Joohee had said it was very possible. Would you be able to handle it? Joohee had suggested that you fool around a bit yourself but you had quickly dismissed that. Cheating was something you would never tolerate in a relationship, from the other person or from yourself. You knew that the reality would be different in your situation, but you still refused to let yourself stray from Yoongi.

Not that you hadn’t tried in the past. You had been in only two relationships leading up to now, one in college and another as a short burst after graduation. It all felt pointless when you knew you wouldn’t get to choose who you spent the rest of your life with. It was an agony that, along with other factors, ended both of your relationships. Mina had been a bright spot in your life, but she couldn’t deal with the fact that you were not only not out to your parents, but that you would likely not be able to be with her long term anyway. There had been other signs that the relationship wouldn’t work out, and you had tried to remain friends but it didn’t pan out past college.

The relationship after college that had only lasted a few months was with Jaehyun, a sweet man who had been your coworker at your first job out of college. He was very kind to you and you felt comfortable in his presence, but you couldn’t handle the guilt of going out with him while knowing he wouldn’t be the one you marry. To his credit, he had been very understanding when you’d broken down in front of him in a guilt-fueled spiral. He’d held you until you calmed down, wiped your tears, and squeezed you tight before leaving, stating that you could always call him if you needed anything. You still messaged him sometimes, and you remained firm that if you did get to choose who to marry, he would be your first choice.

The arranged marriage had been looming over your life since you were old enough to understand the importance of status to your family. You were sure Yoongi’s family was the same. You were both expected to keep your duty to your family, a repayment for the comfortable life you both had lived. Once or twice you had considered telling your parents you wouldn’t go through with it when the time came, but you knew that it would only result in you having to pay them back for everything they had ever given money towards for you. Even though you’d gotten multiple scholarships for college, your parents insisted you go to a prestigious university that rarely gave any money to their students because they knew their parents would have wide-open wallets. There was no way you’d ever be able to pay that back in your lifetime, especially with your current job.

So you were stuck. But you knew you weren’t really all that unhappy. While the circumstances weren’t what you preferred, you couldn’t deny the small excitement that you felt at the prospect of being able to have a relationship with Yoongi. The caveat to that was also knowing that he was an entirely unwilling participant in this situation, which wasn’t really going to work to your advantage. You were set on remaining a realist, refusing to consider the idea that Yoongi might come to love you. It felt like you didn’t have much of any other choice. Everything about this entire situation made you feel like a passive observer, someone with no impact or voice, which wasn’t far from the truth. You imagined Yoongi was much the same.

Distantly, you wondered how many people Yoongi was allowed to invite to the wedding.

Speaking of! You had almost forgotten to call Hoseok, and it was getting late. You scrambled to reach for your phone, stretching your arm out to the nightstand where your phone sat, and grasping it. Dialing his number, you registered how low his contact was on your recent calls. You really needed to call him more often. Hitting his contact, you waited for the ringing to start. He answered rather quickly, which surprised you, as he was usually an early sleeper.

“Hey, Y/N! It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has. I missed you. Hobi,” you said, not realizing how much you meant it until the words left your mouth. It really had been too long since you’d called.

“What’s up? You don’t sound too happy. Is everything okay,” he questioned, and your heart warmed at his concerned nature. He was always able to read you well, better than Joohee sometimes.

“Yeah, everything’s fine I guess. I’m getting married, actually.”

The other end of the line was silent for a bit before you heard Hoseok let out a breath and speak, “Oh, wow. Okay. How are you feeling?”

You choked out a laugh, “You’re not even asking who I’m marrying?”

“Well, I know that it’s not someone you chose. So I want to know how you’re doing. When did you find out?”

Your laughter died at his serious nature, your attempt at lightening the mood unsuccessful, “About two months ago. The wedding’s in around six. Want an invite? I get a whole three guests of my own choosing.”

He chuckled softly at that, “Of course I do, you know I’ll be there. But seriously, how are you feeling about this?”

You almost sighed at his unwillingness to let you escape his question, “I don’t know, honestly. I really don’t. I think I’m weirdly at peace with it? I’ve been expecting it for so long and now it’s finally happening. Plus, it being Min Yoongi isn’t exactly the worst thing ever.”

You could hear his surprise over the phone, “Min Yoongi? Like your crush of almost two decades, Min Yoongi?”

You groaned, responding, “Jeez, way to remind me how old I am. Yes, that Min Yoongi. He’s definitely not as okay with it as I am though.”

“What do you mean?”

You recounted the past meeting with his family to Hoseok while he patiently listened and interrupted occasionally to provide his own thoughts. When you finished, you could practically see him falling back against his desk chair, exhaling a burst of air.

“Well, that’s a lot.”

You let out a short laugh, “Yeah, that’s been my life for the past couple of months.”

“I think Joohee gave you some good advice. I’d probably say something similar to you. Try to make the most of the situation but don’t expect a lot from him. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But, enough about me, how are you doing? How’s work?”

Hosek launched into recapping how busy the dance school he taught at had been lately and the gossip surrounding his coworkers. You felt yourself relax more into the conversation and slowly forget your troubling feelings surrounding Yoongi.

You would deal with those come Friday.

It was Friday. You made sure to leave work a bit early, giving you enough time to run back to your apartment to change and look presentable. You had chosen your outfit with Joohee’s help the night prior. You were meeting at a relatively fancy restaurant but it was more of a bar, so you didn’t want to be too formal. You had opted for a green dress with a small flower print since you were coming off the winter months into spring. Your dress was an A-line cocktail dress with a square neckline and puffed sleeves that cinched at your wrist. You’d had it for a while and knew how it looked on you, and you knew you would feel comfortable in it tonight. The last thing you needed weighing on your mind was getting in your head about how you looked, which you usually felt nauseous from.

With it approaching six, you quickly finished up some minimal makeup, topped it off with a lip tint, and tried your best to make your hair look presentable after what was a long day of work. A glance at your watch told you that you didn’t have much time left, so you rushed to your car, almost forgetting your small purse, and started your drive over to the restaurant. You didn’t want to be late and make a bad impression on Yoongi, although you didn’t know if his impression of you could get any worse.

After you arrived and were sat at your table, you checked your phone to see the time and were relieved to note that you were a couple of minutes early. You felt yourself relax into the booth and started taking slow, calming breaths to slow down your racing heartbeat. The adrenaline of trying to get to the restaurant on time was starting to fade and you took another glance at your watch.

6:06

Well, that’s fine. He’s probably just a little late, you tried to reassure yourself, but you had a sinking feeling. As the minutes marched on, the sinking feeling grew deeper, and you could feel yourself growing slightly annoyed.

6:29

Well, whatever.

You took out your phone from your purse and decided to message him. It should be reasonable, right? You had scheduled this beforehand, after all. Well, not you, your mother, but still, the principle held.

You:

Hi Yoongi-ssi, this is Seo Y/N. I’m waiting at the restaurant at the moment

and I was wondering if you were alright, since you weren’t here yet? Please let me know if you’d like to reschedule instead.

You winced at how the text message sounded more like an email between colleagues, but you weren’t sure how casual you were supposed to be with him. Before you could mull over the tone of your message more, you hit the send button and bit your lip as you waited for a response. Your fingers began to pick at your dress in a nervous habit and you kept your eyes trained on the restaurant entrance in case you spotted him.

Finally, at 6:42, you saw the head of black hair that had haunted your dreams as of late. He walked in calmly, looking slightly disheveled, but his lax pace didn’t betray anything about his tardy entrance. He looked infuriatingly attractive in a well-fitted suit with the tie loosened and the top couple of buttons undone. His eyes met yours as the hostess led him to your table and you smiled politely at him, receiving only a cursory nod in return. The waitress quickly approached as he sat down across from you and took his drink order, two fingers of whisky, while you asked for more water. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to drink, more that you needed to keep your wits about you for this dinner and alcohol would only make you feel nauseous in your already anxious state.

With the waitress gone, he turned to you and you felt yourself flush automatically, something you internally cursed. You wished he didn’t have such an effect on you. He declined to say anything, so you took a moment to take in his appearance now that he was much closer to you.

You could see that his collar was more rumpled than you initially thought and his hair a bit more mussed. You saw a small mark just barely visible from beneath his white button-up, above his tie. Now that he was much closer, you could smell a faint scent of a sweet perfume that you knew wasn’t yours since you had only worn a very light citrus one.

Oh. He was with someone else. Why does that bother me so much?

Finally, he spoke, his deep voice lulling you out of your trance of staring at the mark on his chest, “Sorry I’m late. I saw your text, but I was driving. To be completely honest, I forgot about this.”

For a moment, his apology surprised you. For some reason, you hadn’t expected him to apologize. Maybe you’d built him up to be this cartoon villain in your head after your last interaction, but you’d forgotten that he was human just like you.

“That’s alright, it’s no problem,” you responded kindly, noting the way his eyebrow slightly furrowed at your response, “How was your day?”

He raised an eyebrow at you in a questioning manner, “Are you really going to do small talk with me?”

You let out an embarrassed laugh at your failure to engage him and tried for a new tactic instead, “Okay, what would you like to talk about then?”

“I want to set some ground rules.”

Your surprise must’ve shown on your face because you saw the way his expression almost changed to amusement. You quickly shook off the abruptness of the statement and nodded your head, “Okay, like what?”

“First, you’ll be moving into my apartment. I’m sure your mother already told you,” you nodded, “Do not enter my bedroom or office without knocking. I’ll extend the same courtesy to you. Second, we keep our lives separate. Unless we need to appear at an event together, we shouldn’t be mingling our private lives, including friends, work, things like that. Thirdly, this marriage is going to be on paper only. Don’t expect me to treat you like my girlfriend, or my wife, because we both know that’s not what this is.”

You felt your teeth take in your bottom lip as you considered his words, “Okay, that’s fine, I guess.” You couldn’t really stop him from wanting to do that, but it still hurt some. Any hopes you had of getting a normal romantic relationship after this were quickly dashed by his next rule.

“Lastly, I want this to be open. Our parents aren’t pressuring us for kids, so we can both find relief elsewhere. We both know this is only for increased stocks and influence in our respective companies. So, I do whatever I want and you do whatever you want in that regard, and we don’t interfere in each other’s love lives.”

You felt your face fall a bit, but you tried to control your expression. You had prepared for this, Joohee had prepared you for this. So why were you still so upset? He’s giving you the go-ahead to find whoever you want, so it’s not technically cheating. So why does it still feel so wrong?

“Okay,” you said uneasily, “That’s all okay.” It felt like you were saying it more for yourself than for him.

His eyebrow quirked once more. They were very expressive, you noticed.

“That’s it? You don’t have any rules of your own you want to add in?”

Your hands clenched onto the edge of the booth seat, needing something to ground you. Rules of your own? Your head was swimming with everything that had just happened, you could barely think of anything else, “No, none I want to add.”

Yoongi leaned back and clasped his hands, “Alright then. Shall we eat? My dad’s technically paying so eat all you want.”

You shakily took hold of the menu you’d already looked over a hundred times while waiting for him, not wanting to appear rude by being on your phone. You had already chosen what dish you wanted when Yujin had sent you the restaurant name, a habit of yours being to look up the menu beforehand to choose. The waitress approached and took your orders, taking the menu from your hands, leaving you with nothing to grasp your quivering fingers onto.

You looked over at Yoongi, seeing him on his phone, scrolling. You felt yourself blanch at the blatant disregard and couldn’t find it in yourself to try and start a conversation.

The minutes passed by slowly, and you were barely relieved when the food came, providing momentary respite by giving you something to do. You felt like you’d never been in a more awkward situation. The waitress quickly refilled both your drinks, and you noted that Yoongi had ordered water this time. It must be because he’s driving.

Soon, the both of you finished your food, in utter silence. The waitress, who was quite on top of her game, swiftly provided the bill and told you to take your time. You had a feeling she felt the awkward tension as much as you did.

Once the bill was paid, you and Yoongi walked out towards the parking lot where he started shifting to move in the direction of his car before you blurted out, “Wait!”

He turned, facing you with a bored expression, waiting for you to finish speaking.

“I do have a rule actually.”

Seeming slightly intrigued now, he gestured for you to continue.

“I want us to try and be friends. Please.”

He seemed slightly surprised, judging by the way his eyebrows lifted slightly and his mouth parted. Collecting himself, he looked directly into your eyes, his dark orbs boring into your own, “No. I want us to keep our lives completely separate. We’re not friends.”

With that, he turned around and walked to his car, not sparing you another glance.

“Wow, what an asshole.”

You hummed lazily in agreement, feeling your head lull. You were already a bottle deep in more cheap Moscato with Joohee, as well as a couple of shots of strawberry soju.

“I know right! I agreed to whatever he said, why couldn’t he agree with the one thing I asked for?”

Joohee winced and prepared herself for your buzzed anger that was sure to flare up at her next statement, “Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong. It did conflict with his other rule. Not that I think he’s justified either. There shouldn’t be a problem in being friends.”

Your head snapped towards her, seeing it as a defensive move for Yoongi in your half-drunken state, but before you could find the energy to get upset, you felt yourself melt further into the couch, “Yeah, you’re right, I guess. Whatever, I don’t need him. I’ll just fuck anyone who looks my way, instead.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t,” you cried, collapsing onto the pillow beside you, squeezing it tight, “Why am I so pathetic?”

“You’re not,” Joohee cooed, “You’re just in a shitty situation. So is he, but at least you’re not being a dick about it.”

You nodded glumly, still not feeling better about the situation. As you cradled the now-empty wine bottle to your chest, you remembered Hoseok.

“Oh yeah, I invited Hobi for the wedding. My coworker, Song Ha too. Can you believe I couldn’t think of a third person?”

Joohee laughed before throwing herself onto the couch with you, “Hey, you don’t need other friends, you have me. Besides, we’ll all be together again, then! It feels like forever since we’ve seen him.”

“Yeah, I told him and he said the same stuff as you. To try and make the best of it, or whatever,” you could feel yourself becoming less and less sober, “Can I crash here tonight?”

“Of course, do you want me to wash your dress for you?”

“No, I’ll just do it at my place. Thank God I have you.”

Joohee only laughed loudly in response, getting up to grab another bottle of soju from the fridge. The two of you lounged around before moving to watch TV in Joohee’s bed where she promptly fell asleep. Soothed by her snoring, you relaxed into her comfortable mattress and traced the light extrusions on her ceiling. Your thoughts soon drifted to Yoongi, as they seemed to do often these days.

Was he really fair in rejecting your friendship? Joohee had made a good point earlier in that it certainly conflicted with his rule of ignoring each other outside of obligated functions. But…you didn’t want that. So why did you agree? In the moment, it hadn’t really felt like you’d had another choice. You seemed to be feeling like that a lot lately.

Yoongi seemed serious about this marriage being for business only and you knew that you didn’t want that, but you couldn’t exactly tell him as such. You couldn’t be more sure that he would only be disgusted if he heard you say that and you didn’t think you’d be able to survive seeing that kind of emotion on his face when it’s directed towards you.

Not that you’d be able to survive this marriage either.

Your fingers toyed with the frayed hem of the sleep shorts you’d borrowed from Joohee, a frequent occurrence whenever you stayed over, and you saw her shift in her sleep. She really had been so supportive throughout this whole thing.

Maybe you should go to her brother for help? No, Yoongi would probably hate that.

You resisted the urge to kick your feet in frustration out of fear of waking up Joohee. This was so difficult, it was next to impossible to figure out what your next move should be.

You had a nagging feeling that your mother wouldn’t force you to meet up with Yoongi anymore before the wedding, but why did that not feel like a clear-cut win? Did you want to meet with Yoongi again?

Rubbing at your eyes frantically, you pushed aside the flurry of questions stirring inside you. You didn’t have time to deal with this. There was a large project at work that was in its final stages that you needed your full attention on and then the final beta tests before the official launch, just weeks before your wedding. You couldn’t afford to spend another moment thinking about Yoongi.

As you got more comfortable in Joohee’s bed, you turned your head to face the clock on her bedside table, reading 3:09 AM.

A sigh escaped your lips as you forced your eyes closed to try and get some rest.

You had an inkling that Yoongi would be occupying your thoughts whether you wanted it or not.

“We’ll be meeting for the rehearsal dinner in one week, Yujin will send you the information and instructions. Don’t be late.”

Your mother’s voice cut off after that, not bothering to say goodbye before ending the call. You could feel your headache coming back and you fumbled for your water bottle before getting up to grab a red ginseng packet from the breakroom. Things had been a lot lately.

The final preparations for the wedding were underway and your mother was leaving nothing to chance. Your dress had been fitted to perfection with your mother sending you a strict diet and workout plan to make sure you stayed the exact same size until the wedding. That email had been swiftly archived.

You weren’t even sure of who was in your bridal party other than Joohee being your maid of honor. Not that it mattered. This wedding wasn’t for you anyway.

As you slowly sucked out the paste from the ginseng packet, leaning against the break room counter, you wondered if Yoongi had had to go through similar procedures, though likely less extensive. You hadn’t heard from him since that dinner where he’d firmly placed a boundary between you, but he’d rarely left your mind since. You’d hoped that the reality check with Yoongi might help clear you of your feelings for him, but, instead, they only deepened your desire to get to know him better, to break past that boundary. But you knew that those ideas were merely fairy tales and this marriage was not going to be one by any means.

Distantly, you wondered how the ceremony would go. The two of you hadn’t prepared any vows, nor were you expected to. This wedding was not a show of love and everyone knew that. Your parents weren’t concerned with making it appear as though you and Yoongi were a loving couple, no, this wedding was more of an excuse to show off their wealth and influence. Your nuptials were merely a byproduct. Still, would you have to kiss Yoongi?

You quickly shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the mental image, feeling your cheeks flush hot. Yet, you couldn’t get it out of your head. You imagined his lips would be soft and gentle, that he would lead you through the kiss and deepen it for more. His hands would come to rest at your waist before encircling it, pulling you closer, flush, to his body.

No! You can’t imagine that, you’re not allowed!

Internally, you scoffed. What kind of girl wasn’t allowed to imagine kissing her fiance? You knew the truth, however, that it wasn’t your place to imagine yourself in that position. That was reserved for the person he loved, who was, decidedly, not you.

Tossing the packet, you made your way back to your way back to your desk. Settling into the pillowed surface of your chair, you browsed through your emails before noticing one from the marketing team.

From: [email protected]

RE: MIRA’S AWAKENING Influencer Advertising

Hello Team Leader Seo,

We have decided that we would like to reach out to online influencers and streamers to assist in promoting Project Mira’s Awakening. A list of possible candidates is attached, along with their profiles and viewer analytics. We would like your input on any public figures you believe may be good candidates for this endeavor. Please reach out if you and your team come up with any candidates that are not already included in the attached file.

Additionally, we would like to create merchandise to provide for these public figures and we need to confirm with you and Graphics Team 2 on graphics we can include on merchandise items. You will find a list of items we are looking to make, along with graphics suggestions, attached as well. Please coordinate with GT 2 to send over finalized ideas and start creating the images.

Thank you,

Team Leader Lim

You considered the contents, feeling the eraser of your pencil tap against your lip, who could you suggest? You had your favorite streamers, but none aligned that well with the nature of the game you were producing, which meant the viewer base wouldn’t have enough crossover with your target audience. Running through a list of the streamers you watched regularly in your head, you stopped at one in particular.

Goldenboy97.

Jeon Jeongguk was quite popular and played enough combat-based games to have sufficient audience crossover, while still being intriguing for the puzzle aspect of the game. Not that you were biased, but he was your favorite creator at the moment. You jotted down his handle and a note to ask the rest of your team about their thoughts.

Leaning back in your chair, you stared blankly at the screen as the emails continued flooding in. Slowly, but surely, your thoughts drifted back to the phone call with your mother. The wedding was next week, with the rehearsal dinner only being seven days away.

You felt a strange combination of dread and giddiness, a swirl of emotional turmoil you weren’t ready to unpack. Hoseok was coming back tonight and you were picking him up from the train station. You’d probably have time to process your emotions then. Hoseok was staying at your apartment in the guest bedroom for a couple of weeks so he could be there through the whole wedding process. He had also mentioned looking for an apartment to move into in Seoul, which made you excited. You really wanted to have the college dream team together again.

The thoughts of the actual wedding were stoking your nerves, you still hadn’t talked to Yoongi since the last time you’d met. You weren’t sure of the protocol or if you should try to talk to him beforehand, especially about the ceremony. Too cowardly to act on your anxiety, you shut off your opened messaging app on your phone. You weren’t keen on finding out how Yoongi would respond to an unprompted message.

The sound of your team packing up alerted you to the time, being slightly past five. You joined them in getting ready to leave before heading to the elevator. The rest of the group trekked slightly ahead while Song Ha walked slightly slower to stay back with you.

“So, the wedding is next week. Are you excited?”

You chuckled nervously, “Yeah, you could call it that.”

“Ah, are you nervous? Makes sense. Just think, though, soon, you’ll be married to the love of your life! How exciting!”

Your insides felt queasy. You hadn’t told Song Ha about the nature of your relationship with your betrothed because you weren’t exactly sure how to explain it to someone who wasn’t familiar, nor did you want to deal with the embarrassment, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Where are you going for your honeymoon?”

You bit your lip, “Nowhere, actually. We couldn’t get time off of work at the same time.” The honeymoon had long been decided as an unnecessary expense, and neither you nor Yoongi complained. Being stuck with him for weeks after the wedding in another country sounded like a nightmarish situation. You wouldn’t have minded a vacation though.

“Gosh, that sucks. Hopefully, you’ll be able to do something over the summer, maybe,” Song Ha pouted, swinging her work bag in line with her step. You smiled at her naivete.

“Yeah, hopefully.”

“Hobi!”

You ran towards the taller man, throwing your arms around his upper body, “I missed you! It feels so nice to have you back in Seoul.”

Feeling his chest rumble with a laugh, you squeezed him harder before releasing him.

“Feels good to be back too,” he responded, a bright, heart-shaped smile adorning his face, “Let me get my bags to your car.”

“Oh, right, let me help,” you nodded, reaching for the bigger suitcase to roll towards your car. Hoseok easily picked up the duffel bag lying at his feet and followed behind you. You had opted for driving to the station since his train had come too late for the buses to still be running, and you didn’t want to have to deal with paying for or lugging his baggage into a cab.

After loading the luggage into your trunk, you both settled into the front seats of your well-worn car. You heard Hoseok chuckle while clicking in his seatbelt, “This certainly feels different from the drunk bus and taxi rides back to the campus dorms. Even if it’s about the same level as luxury.”

You rolled your eyes, “Hey, my car is reliable. The previous owner only had it for a couple of years before selling it off and she’s been perfectly good since then. Though, my mom would probably agree with you on the luxury bit.”

“Yeah, well, who wants to listen to her opinion anyway. Before I forget, thanks again for letting me stay at your place while I’m here, I know it’ll probably be annoying with the wedding prep going on.”

“It’s no problem, seriously. Besides, a lot of my stuff’s been moved over to Yoongi’s for when I move after the wedding. I’m just keeping my apartment there in case I need it since I won’t be paying rent at Yoongi’s.” Keeping the lease on your apartment had been a conscious decision because you had figured you’d want a safe space away from the marriage drama and it wouldn’t be an extra hit to your income. What your mother and Yoongi didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

“Has he really paid off his entire apartment? You’re marrying a proper chaebol,” Hoseok joked.

You laughed lightly, a tinge of awkwardness at the idea that you really were, and you had no idea how he’d act in his own house. Tapping your fingers along the steering wheel, you tried to subtly change the topic, “Well, speaking of apartments, do you know where you’re going to be looking?”

Hoseok launched into a detailed plan he had for looking at rental properties in Seoul for both his apartment and the studio he wanted to open. You excitedly listened along, thrilled that he was planning on settling near you, as you drove to your own apartment.

After you’d parked, Hoseok insisted on taking the large suitcase, claiming that only he was strong enough to lug it up the stairs. You only laughed a little bit at his sour expression when you showed him the perfectly working elevator.

Punching in the code to your apartment, you swung open the door, making sure not to step food inside. A loud pop rang out and confetti sprayed out from the doorway.

“Surprise!”

Hoseok stumbled back, clutching at his chest and mouth agape at Joohee’s excited smile from inside the apartment, “Shit, Joohee, you scared me!”

You laughed loudly before grabbing his suitcase and rolling it inside, setting the duffel bag on top. Joohee began cleaning up the mess of confetti, Hoseok started to unpack what he’d need for the night, and you began unboxing the pizza that had arrived while Joohee was setting up.

As the three of you settled into your living room, Hoseok already teasing Joohee, you felt like a void in your heart had been filled. The last few months had been so stressful and it hadn’t felt like you’d gotten a break emotionally in so long. The sounds of your friends chattering and laughing made you feel at ease. So, naturally, Hoseok had to ruin that.

“So, Y/N, how are you feeling about the rehearsal next week? Or the wedding, for that matter.”

You shifted in your position on the loveseat, feeling yourself frown, “Um, I don’t know. I don’t know what to expect. I can’t believe I’ll be married in just over a week.” Letting out a nervous laugh, you continued, “I haven’t talked to Yoongi in like six months. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

You could feel yourself spiraling, but you had been holding in so many emotions that it felt like you couldn’t stop yourself from talking, “Honestly, I’m really scared. I don’t want this to be my life forever. I’m not ready, I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

Joohee got up from her spot on the couch to hug you, Hoseok joining soon after. Something about their touch comforting you pushed you over the edge, the dam broke, and tears began streaming down your cheeks. You sniffled pathetically, hating the level of vulnerability you were currently displaying. You hadn’t cried throughout this whole experience, but in the comforting presence of your closest friends, you couldn’t help it.

“I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to marry him if it’s going to be like this. Why does my life have to be this way? Why can’t I be normal?”

Joohee and Hoseok only squeezed you in response, not having an answer to your questions. Your tears continued on until you couldn’t cry anymore and Joohee finally released you. She stood and smiled kindly at you, “Do you want me to get you anything?”

“Water, please,” you said raspily, throat dry from all the crying. Joohee nodded before heading to the kitchen, leaving you with Hoseok who had shoved himself into the loveseat to further comfort you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, slightly muffled by burying your face in Hoseok’s soft, cotton shirt.

“You know you can always talk to us. I wish I could change this for you, that you didn’t have to do this,” he said softly, stroking your hair.

“It is what it is,” you said, feeling much more mellow now that you’d cried out all your overwhelming emotions.

“Still,” Hoseok insisted, “He has no reason to be such a jerk.” You shrugged, you felt the same but there wasn’t much you could do to change that.

Joohee returned with a cup of water which you gratefully took and sipped. Suddenly feeling quite exhausted, and a headache coming on, you tapped Hoseok to get off of you, to which he complied and clambered off the loveseat.

“Sorry guys, I’m just so exhausted now. I really appreciate you being here, but I think I’m going to head to bed,” you stated, hugging both of them, before starting to gather the trash to clean up.

Joohee laid a hand on your shoulder to stop you, “Go, get some rest. We’ll clean up.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Hoseok exclaimed, and pushed you towards your bedroom, “Go to bed!”

Laughing, you acquiesced and headed into your bedroom to get ready to sleep. As you went through your nightly routine, you felt yourself feeling a bit calmer about the upcoming week. You had your two closest friends by your side.

You were ready to handle anything that Yoongi threw at you.

Probably.

Yoongi lightly swirled the glass of whiskey between his fingers as he sat at his desk in his brown leather chair. By this time next week, he would be getting married.

His eyes drifted towards the manila folder lying at the edge of his desk, a small water stain on the corner. Inside were the files on his soon-to-be wife, Seo Y/N. He took a sip of his whiskey, the smoky flavour traveling down his throat, as he considered his fiancee.

He didn’t know what to make of her. She just seemed so meek and obedient, which wasn’t at all appealing. He didn’t remember much of her from before the arrangement, aside from vague interactions between them and the Kim siblings. She had seemed quite timid then too.

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, setting his glass on his desk. He didn’t want to do this marriage. It was a chore, really.

Yoongi didn’t necessarily have anyone he was looking to marry, but having to pretend to be exclusive with some girl he didn’t care about wasn’t conducive to the bachelor lifestyle he’d cultivated. He’d set his ground rules, and she’d agreed, pretty easily, another thing that irked Yoongi.

Couldn’t she stand up for herself? Or say anything at all that was her own opinion?

Yoongi drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair, he supposed she had said something that night. She’d wanted to be friends. He hadn’t been expecting that.

He figured it might be some condition about how she didn’t want to work or for him to stop seeing other people, but, instead, she’d simply asked for his friendship. And he’d refused.

Of course he did, it went against his other rule. He wanted to keep his life separate from this artificial marriage and that included remaining nothing but acquaintances. He’d have to be steadfast, he decided. That night, when he’d seen your imploring expression with hope shining in your eyes, he’d almost agreed. He wasn’t sure why that was, or if he even wanted to know, but he couldn’t let it happen again.

Despite your docile and unassuming nature, you were dangerous. And you didn’t seem to know it, which made you all the more so.

previous / masterlist / next

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savagewildnerness · 6 months ago

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OK! Thoughts on S2E2, Do you know what it means to be loved by death?

I love the gold (Pegasus?) statue Louis and Claudia sit upon at the start of the episode

“We’ve been together 77 years Daniel.” …”44 more than he did with Lestat.” LOL Armand (I agree with Daniel: “Keep selling it!” !!!!)

LOL @ Louis’ Parisian neck scarf

The fashion plates Claudia has cut out and stuck inside her bed… my heart

Louis looks so good in the red darkroom light, oh my!

Claudia asking Louis who he is reminded me of my thoughts the other day (a very brief summary):

Louis is afraid to look deeply within himself at who he is, in case he is not perfect, as he needs to believe he is. But he does believe he deserves love.

Conversely, Lestat knows himself - for his evil especially, and despite it all, he still likes himself mainly. But he is afraid he is utterly unloveable.

Claudia talking about a new brain in her head and Armand a new body for her brain… are they *really* going to go there? It is seeming like it?

I like Madeleine from the wee bit we saw, and I love Claudia’s dress

“It’s just Rashid” LOL

The first meeting of Armand and Louis:

Armand is like a poem made into the form of a being - the way Assad’s Armand speaks, how he looks, how he looks at Louis: he radiates a quiet peace, calm & poetic gentleness, which gave me shivers and goosebumps. Like the beautific gaze of an angel. All added to by Daniel Hart’s divine score, reflecting exactly the same emotions. This is how Armand is often described in the books (until he’s not), but because of the extremes Armand can go to, I don’t often think of this calm, angelic, almost innocent side to him so much… but oh how I felt it

I love how the lamp lights flicker. It’s like a fairytale romance and everything about it: down to “I will not harm you” is exactly as Louis would wish to hear

SANTIAGO! I love Ben Daniels. I love Santiago’s outfit and his eyes and his theatricality and his evident cleverness.

Interesting how dilapidated the Theatre des Vampires is. Seems like it hasn’t been updated since the ’20’s - half empty; broken bulbs… I am sure we have more to hear on this in the show…

Love how Armand brought cinema into the plays

The plays though have such a tawdry, distasteful feel. I would agree with Louis’ and Lestat’s visceral dislike of them, even before the human sacrifice. Though I do like the Brecht vibes. But it is such a contrast to S1 Lestat and Louis at the Opera…

LOL @ Louis’ face seeing the portrait of Lestat! And “They’ve got a shrine to him!” Hahaha

Whaaatttt @ Santiago and star charts!! Hahahahaha??!?!?!

Claudia on Loumand… I guess we have our answer now as to whether the vampires really are having actual sex and exactly how! Cheers Claudia!!!

Roget knowing about Lestat potentially sleeping… interesting…

I’ll copy and paste from elsewhere my thoughts on the Loustat scene…

“Do not waist life…” - Oh Lestat, the illiterate boy & young man you were; so desperate to learn & be good, with a Mother for whom knowledge & escape through books was her only solace… who couldn’t even be bothered to teach you the alphabet. Now, with your preternatural skills, you can read & write & do any thing you wish… but of course - it makes sense that you would never have entirely learned how to spell, or at least that there’d be the odd, common words you didn’t know. (Occurence, too.) Little details, breaking my heart even more. Thank you everyone for caring so much, you thought about the spelling of Lestat’s letter. I noticed. I care about every tiny detail like this & feel it, like love: deep in my soul.

Also: is Dreamstat *really* going to make me cry in every single episode of season 2, even when he’s barely in the episode for a breath?! (1 min 40 seconds to be precise!) He made me cry in episode 1, and here he made me cry too.

Oh Louis: to read this letter & all your internal pain & shame & sorrow & guilt & love to deepen, I’m sure even more. Oh Sam, how you spoke the letter. Oh Lestat’s outfit, from their first “date”….

Another link to the episode title here - Do you know what it means to be loved by death? too

For anyone who’s like the full text of the letter:

“My Louis

In the event you are reading this, something dreadful has occured, which is not my own death, but rather the fact that we now both exist (e?) in two different worlds.

Do not waist life seeking revenge on the person or persons responsible. Do not give them the satisfaction of the hunt. Let their treachery eat them from within and instead…”

(Continued as spoken…)

“And you… you go carry on with your living. Know only this, Mon Cher, you are the only being I trust and whom I love, above and beyond myself.

All my love belongs to you. You are its keeper. A veil will now forever separate our union. But it is a thin veil… and I am always on the other side, my face pressed up against your longing.

Lestat de Lioncourt”

Alice truly doesn’t exist, does she? Armand: what *have* you done to Daniel!?! Is all of his life a lie? Is Daniel's shaking here evidence that Armand's mind-altering has had physical impact on Daniel too? And Louis clearly knows some of it too… though I presume not the love part…. And THEY MUST LOVE EACH OTHER like Devil’s Minion which always makes me sob. (Or maybe Alice does exist, but Armand is why she wouldn’t marry Daniel?)

Oh Claudia - your GLEE at Murder mansion

“I like how you withhold” - Armand providing your next chat up line - you’re welcome!

OMG we’re going to actually see Nicolas play violin! I am SO SCARED! I hope I’ll adore it and I have faith in the show makers. But, I have also seen so much terrible violin miming (it makes me wonder, when people play surgeons, is what they are doing this annoyingly unrealistic too and I just have no idea!?!) and it is particularly noticeable, as usually piano miming is very good! Anyway, I know it is such a minor thing in the greater scheme of things, but I know I will be so irritated if it doesn’t look like Nicki is playing the violin. And it’s only that telly violin miming is so notoriously bad. Oh, please - let me believe in it! I BEG!

#interview with the vampire #anne rice #lestat de lioncourt #amc interview with the vampire #the vampire lestat #iwtv lestat #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv louis

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blackinquisitors · 2 years ago

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we want the charles hcs mia

of course

he's autistic. duh. but I think he had a lot more symptoms as a child and was Very Difficult. and bc people didn't rly know about autism back then I think his parents tried their best but ultimately were at a loss as to what to do with his stimming and sensory issues etc. so as he grew he learned the effect his oddities have on people, and how they perceive him as a black/native man as well. and that's part of the reason why he's so aloof and distant. isolating for protection and also so he doesn't have to put as much effort into masking. which he barely does anyway but whatever

adding on to Charles as a child. he was really into bugs. a gentle giant of a kid and loved little crawlies. and I think he got picked on by other ppl as a kid bc he was odd and big and different looking but kind, but some kid killed a bug he was keeping as a pet and charles punched him and then was treated differently after that

he hates nicknames. the only people that ever called him Charlie were his parents and no one else is allowed (except for bloom Isaac hehe). not chuck either

he whittles sticks in game but I think he carves little statues and spoons and stuff. he wants to get into woodworking but he's never lived in a house he can make furniture for :(

I know he'd be such a sweet dad. awkward but very sweet and gentle

gets insomnia. this is bc whenever I stalk him in game he never fuckin sleeps. I've only seen him in his jammies like once or twice

him and Arthur 🤝 farting in bed all night

I think it's established that Charles doesn't really believe what dutch says but I think he HATES listening to him talk for more than 2 mins. he can only tolerate dutch in small doses. he appreciates what the gang stands for + the other people in it + safety in numbers a lot more than whatever ideology Dutch has cooked up this week

also he had a lisp as a child

I think he's such a pathetic weirdo that the gang found in a sopping wet cardboard box. he's so lonely but doesn't know how to talk to people (doesn't enjoy it half the time anyway) but he's just secretly desperate for human connection and that's why he stays w the gang thru all this stuff, simply bc it's the first home he's had since he was a child and he doesn't want to be alone again. he works himself into the ground with all the chores to show the gang that he's useful so they don't leave him

in a modern world he'd be a terrible fucking driver. inspired by the epilogue mission where he says "I'll drive" and proceeds to run over 3 pedestrians. he hits every curb, he can't parallel park, he doesn't signal, and he can't drive a manual. yet he doesn't understand how he's a bad driver and gets offended if someone tells him so

his least favourite food is cottage cheese (texture)

bisexual and vers but bottom-leaning. he's just happy to be there

likes his partners to be strong or have some meat on their bones just so he knows he won't break them or anything lol

speaking of sex. um. I have a rule that I have to give all my beloved characters some weird fetish or kink to humble them. soo Charles likes sniffing pits. sorry

much more impatient and quick to anger than people give him credit for. he just has better restraint than other characters and can act reasonably when he wants to. but he's just as eager for a fight as the next guy

he's not very nice either I don't know where this perception of him being overly kind and patient comes from. he's not nice and he's not mean either. he embodies this emoji 😐

that's it for now I think. my disjointed collection of Charles thoughts

#hcs

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askhisuianzorua · 1 year ago

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Munday Shiny Showcase #4

<<first <previous - next>

Heyo. After taking an impromptu break from the internet due to personal reasons, I'm finally gonna be coming slowly back to this blog and what better way then to continue with my shiny showcase! We got A LOT to catch up on so buckle up!

Quick Recap: The munday shiny showcase is where I show off some of my most recent captures throughout the week. Whether I get them through shiny hunting, breeding, or just by random chance! They will be listed every Monday under the #MundayShinyShowcase tag

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#1: Noivern:

Caught this one some time just after my break as a noibat. I hadn't been playing the game for awhile since dex completion so I figured a shiny hunt would be a good way to get back into it and noibat was my choice. Got them first run I believe.

#2: Pawmi

This one was kinda random. I was trying to catch a shiny Sandy Shocks a day or so after the noibat I mentioned, but I was super unlucky and wasn't able to get one. However since I was using electric meal powers, I ended up with this little pikaclone instead. Need to get around to evolving her, but we all know the evo for this dude can be tedious XD

#3: Snorunt

This was another random catch that I got during a shiny hunt for a different mon. I was out trying to catch a shiny frigibax. It was my first run and right after my meal powers ran out and I was about to reset, this cutie showed up so not a total loss of sandwich ingredients XD Got a female too so ya'll know what she's gonna evo into lol

#4: Frigibax

As I mentioned in the last section, I was shiny hunting Frigibax. I was able to nab one after I caught the snorunt. I even got lucky with a very fitting title!

#5: Magikarp

Can you ever say you've caught a shiny until you catch a wild shiny magikarp? I mean come on... a literal GOLDFISH. XD I caught this after the DLC came out(Gonna shamelessly plug my almost 6 hour long live stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8l2RMHVjVw&t=1s ) I was just looking for pokemon to catch and fill the kitakami dex and boom there it was.

#6: Spinarak & Ariados

A little while after I did my livestream of the new DLC I did another livestream were I, you guessed it, did some shiny hunting! The first one I went after was spinarak and not only did I catch one, I caught it's evo too! I'll be adding the spinarak to my eventual shiny raffle when I get around to it. (Another shameless stream plug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64939UPuul4 )

#7: Dipplin

The second pokemon I shiny hunted on the stream was applin who I evolved into Dipplin just so I can see it's shiny and boi is it cool. A golden candy apple is great and I love it. This one was a pain to get because of where it spawns so I had to rerun the hunt after the first attempt failed.

#8: Marcargo

Slugma was the last one I shiny hunted on stream and was kind of a spur-of-the-moment kinda deal. After I got the applin, I was wondering who to shiny hunt and I was passing by the mountain top when I saw some Slugma and boom started to shiny hunt it(I think. I have to rewatch the stream at some point because I can't remember lol)

#9: Jangmo-o

I can't remember if I catch her before and after I did the stream, but I saw some jangmo-o and just said "Imma find your shiny" because I remember it having a pink lemonade look that I loved. I think this was another one I had to reset for.

And that's it for all the shinies I caught since the last showcase. I think this is all of them. I has been a long while since the last showcase.

--------------------------------

Shiny Stats

Total shinines caught: 27

Shinies hunted: 17

Random shinies: 9

Most Shinies Caught within 30 Min: 3

Most Shinies of Same Pokemon within 30 min: 3

Shinies hatched: 1

Current Egg Run: N/A

Quickest Shiny Hatch: 350 - 450(I had lost track)

———————————————-

List of Shinies I am currently hunting or plan to hunt in the future:

Rowlett(Have yet to start)

The rest of the starters currently available

Hisuian Zorua

Paradox Pokemon

#munday stuff #ooc #pokemon #mundayshinyshowcase

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago

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bao | myg | 2

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: Min Yoongi is always late to start work. He’s late in starting a lot of things. Like telling you he loves you.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of parental injury/surgery; SO MUCH fluff; non-idol!AU; (slightly more) jealous deliveryboy!Yoongi x hardworking chef!reader ft. bao fiend, next-door neighbor, model!Taehyung who can’t cook to save his life lol

"What's wrong?" Kim Taehyung asked as he bit into his bao. He asked for an extra sweet bun for his manager today. "Is it your dad?" he added, concern laced on his voice.

"No, not really. He has a checkup tomorrow." You gnawed on your lip as he excitedly chomped into his saucy beef bun. "Hopefully he's recovering well." You rubbed your forehead. Day by day, you could see Yoongi’s black eye healing, but you couldn’t help but worry about him. He had promised not to punch anyone heedlessly, but you doubted he meant it. "Don't get injured, Taehyung."

Taehyung raised his eyebrows. "Why would I get injured?"

"I don't know, but don't. I don't need any more stress," you chuckled dryly, not really amused but unsure exactly how you were feeling.

Taehyung tilted his head.

"Are you lonely?"

You raised your head. "Huh?"

"Have you seen your parents in person?"

You blinked. "Well, no. I have to prep, clean, and do errands on my off day. But I video call them often."

Taehyung shrugged. "You used to work at the counter and talk to people all day. Now you're only in the kitchen and the only human beings you see consistently are the delivery guy and I, right? They're all short interactions too." His brown eyes softened, almost parental. "It must be lonely."

You exhaled, feeling the invisible weight of the days’ past. "Maybe..."

Taehyung smiled. "Tell you what. I got a short day this week, so I'll stop by and help out. Just for fun!" He grinned wider now as you paled a bit at the thought. "You don't even have to pay me. I can do stuff!"

"Like what?" you laughed. "You can't cook, Taehyung."

He paused, realizing that was true. "I can clean!"

"You want to clean all day?"

"... I can eat!"

"Min Yoongi, Kim Taehyung."

Taehyung stuck his flour-covered hand out. "Hello! It's nice to meet you."

Yoongi blinked at his hand and gave him a small nod instead. Taehyung seemed to realize it was dirty and wiped his hands on a spare towel before eagerly grabbing Yoongi's hand and shaking it furiously. "I heard you're really dependable, hyung!"

Yoongi raised an eyebrow as his entire body shook with the force of Taehyung's handshake. He turned to your chuckling form rolling dough out into a circle.

"That's the biggest lie you've ever told."

You smiled as you filled the dough circle with spicy pork. "Not true. You are dependable. Dependably late every morning."

You failed to notice Yoongi's apologetic frown, but Taehyung didn't. The younger man tilted his head, observing Yoongi’s dark eyes watching your hands. You pinched the bun into a neat twist before setting it on the tray.

"Taehyung, that's not a circle," you chided playfully, pointing to the, well, blob on Taehyung's side of the counter.

Taehyung let go of Yoongi's hand. "I tried!" he whined childishly. "It's hard..."

Yoongi washed his hands clean as you wiped your hands on your apron. "Let me make lunch real quick while there's a break in orders and you two are here." You bumped into Yoongi as you headed to the sink, his wet hands colliding with your chest.

"Ack, sorry, sorry," Yoongi mumbled, sounding flustered, but you laughed, brushing the water off.

"And that's why I wear my dad's jacket," you mused, referring to the white chef's coat you wore under the apron and over your clothes.

You washed your hands at the sink, staring at the wide sleeves, remembering the call from earlier. Your father was recovering, but it would still be some time before he could work again and maybe not to his full capacity. Your father had protested, saying he felt fine. He was never one to complain about pain, but you knew he must have been hurting for years. If only he had gotten it checked out sooner. You sighed inwardly, but there was nothing you could do about it now. At the moment, you had to feed the two overgrown kids in your kitchen.

"Wow, hyung, you're good!"

You turned around to see Yoongi rolling Taehyung's dough into a circle, tongue resting on the side of his lips, getting a bit of flour onto his leather sleeves.

"Oh?"

You walked up behind him to see. Taehyung's dough was heavily over-kneaded, so the circle wasn't great but it was still a circle all the same. You smiled as Yoongi backed up, holding the wooden rolling pin awkwardly.

"My brother's a chef," he mumbled. "And I've... seen you do it hundreds of times."

You picked up the dough circle and placed it in your palm, cradling it in your hand as you filled it with spicy pork.

"Is it really spicy?" Taehyung asked worriedly.

You shook your head. "No, you should be fine. I remember you don't like your food too spicy." You pinched the top, twisting it prettily as you held it out to them. Taehyung looked it with sparkly eyes while Yoongi seemed embarrassed, eyes shifting awkwardly from the bun to the counter.

"It took three people to make this," you said with a laugh. “Hopefully it tastes good.”

You cut it in half evenly a few hours later, almost closing time. You held out one half to Taehyung and one half to Yoongi, whose cheeks were flushed from running around outside. He had worked hard all day, and you even had clients calling, complimenting on his speed and efficiency. Taehyung, well, Taehyung had been great company, although not particularly useful. A fun change from your usual lonesome day.

Steam rose from the meat and white dough, soft and pliable.

The bun warmed your hands and their faces warmed your heart.

“What about you?” Taehyung said, taking one of the halves from you.

You grinned. “Nah, I’ll pass. I don’t want to get poisoned.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyes. “Hey! You made the dough. All I did was roll it into a circle.”

“Actually, I rolled it into a circle,” Yoongi pointed out.

Taehyung fluffed his cheeks. “I rolled it into an almost circle.”

You recalled the shape of the blob with a scrutinous and amused frown. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

“It’s good.”

You turned your head to see Yoongi chewing. The half-bun was still in your fingers, a bite taken out of it. Had he… eaten it from your hand? You stared at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. His long fingers reached out and gripped the half, fingertips brushing against yours. He was still chewing, nodding thoughtfully.

“Not too spicy either.”

Your hand was still in the air. You quickly put it down and turned your attention to Taehyung, who took a huge bite.

“Ah! Hot!”

You laughed, fanning the space around his mouth. “Of course, it is. I just steamed it.”

Taehyung’s jaw wiggled as he tried to blow the steam off his tongue, panicked noises coming from his throat as you grabbed a water bottle and opened it for him so he could cool it off with a gulp of cool liquid.

“Ah, what am I going to do with you, Taehyung…”

You counted out Yoongi’s pay from the day’s total, calculating quickly. This was the easiest part of the day for you. Math came to you naturally. Cooking was much harder, at least when it came to cooking even half as good as your father.

“Do you like Taehyung?”

You had sent Taehyung home with bags full of buns to give to his parents. He had left with a skip in his step and a huge boxy grin, thanking you repeatedly and almost dropping everything. You had to yell at him to be careful at least three times.

“Of course, Taehyung’s my friend,” you chuckled. “He can be a bit all over the place though.”

“I meant in a more than friends kind of way.”

You stopped and looked up from you calculator. Yoongi was leaning over the counter, one arm perched on it, black leather jacket open and revealing his black-and-white patterned dress shirt. You noticed the first couple buttons were undone. Silver chains hung around his neck, decorating his collarbones. His long fingers tapped on the wood, silver rings glinting against his pale skin.

“Taehyung?” You shrugged. “Not really. Never thought of him that way.”

Yoongi gave you a long, discerning look. His dark brown eyes searched yours, hooded by his black bangs. It was making you uncomfortable. Suddenly, you could feel the flecks of flour on your cheeks, the scent of oil and cooked meat hanging from your clothes and hair. You went back to the calculations, busying yourself with bookkeeping.

This silence was weird. Usually, Yoongi was wordlessly waiting for you to finish so he could leave, but for some reason today it felt bizarre. You furrowed your brow as you recorded the day’s sales and Yoongi’s pay, subtracting it from the total.

“That’s good, because I like you in a more than friends kind of way.”

You placed Yoongi’s pay in an envelope and held it out to him. “Here you go. I added a little bonus for helping me babysit Taehyung today.”

Your gaze locked with Yoongi’s.

Then his words really hit you.

You blinked at him and his completely neutral expression. He wasn’t taking the envelope. Instead, he tilted his head, stare penetrating through your soul. Your heartbeat was suddenly in your ears. It felt like your face was right next to the stove, flushed from the fire.

“W… what?”

Yoongi nodded as if this was the expected result. “I figured I should tell you before Taehyung attempts to run off with you.”

You blinked rapidly, the heat increasing on your face. “W… what are you talking about?” you nervously laughed, placing the envelope in the counter and sliding it to him. You shook your head, trying to dissipate the heat. “You’ve gone too far with your jokes.”

Yoongi placed a hand on the envelope.

Then he lifted himself up and over the counter, launching his entire body over it.

You started, pinning yourself back into the wall, eyes widening as his black, thick-soled boots hit the tile floor. He was wearing black jeans again, the ones with a rip on the right knee. He lifted his head, making eye contact with you once again.

“It’s not a joke.”

He looked over to the recordkeeping book and closed it for you. Took the wad of cash that was the day’s sales and tied it in a rubber band, the same way you did it every night. Placed your pen where you placed it every night, next to the pen cup and not actually in it. You watched him, somewhat fascinated that he remembered all these details despite you never thinking about your habits as you did them, either in mid-conversation with him or simply worn out from the day.

Yoongi placed the cash on the recordkeeping book and turned back to face you.

“I’m serious.”

You remembered the moments that you brushed off so easily before. Yoongi’s body hitting yours when you grabbed his cap, the way he felt pushed up against you, breath on your neck. His fingertips touching yours, making you flinch involuntarily. Him eating from your hand earlier that day. The weird silence just now when he asked you if you liked Taehyung.

Your eyes shifted uneasily.

“Well… what I supposed to say?” you asked quietly.

For a long moment, Yoongi didn’t respond. Then he smiled, the smile not quite reaching his eyes.

“Nothing.”

He turned around.

But before he could walk off, before Yoongi could leave and come back in the morning, late as usual, you grabbed his leather jacket and yanked him back, spinning him back around. His lips parted, startled at your sudden movement, and you pressed your lips to his. His eyes widened.

So did yours.

The scent of leather and pine hit your nose. His lips felt soft. He tasted a little like the spicy pork you fed him earlier. It was a nearly a week after the black eye incident and it was barely noticeable anymore, with only small hints of bruising on his pale skin. He healed fast. You quickly drew back and grabbed the envelope, shoving it at him and pushing past, stunned that you did such a thing, hurriedly running to the kitchen. Or would have, if Yoongi’s arm didn’t block your exit, making you jerk back and hit him in the chest.

Now both your hands were on his black and white dress shirt, holding his pay against him.

You couldn’t look Yoongi in in the face. It was too awkward. You just stared at his neck, at the glittering silver necklaces.

“I have eyes, you know.”

You swallowed, grabbing his hand and placing it on the envelope. His fingers wrapped around yours. His other hand came up, tracing the buttons of his dress shirt. You flinched, jerking your head up as your free hand covered the one on his button placket. His silver rings felt cool against your hot palm.

“What are you doing?”

Yoongi cocked his head. You never realized how raspy and sexy his voice was until now. ‘Well, you didn’t want to look at my face, so I figured I would give you something else to look at.”

Your eyes darted from his hand to his face, flabbergasted.

“Don’t… play around,” you muttered, frowning.

Yoongi leaned down.

“I’m not.”

And now he kissed you, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against yours, sweetly but firmly, inhaling. You tried to break away, words tumbling from your lips.

“I’ve been working all day; I reek of grease,” you sputtered, but Yoongi grabbed your head and kissed you again, pressing your body against his, dusting flour onto the black leather, your body shuddering at the closeness, falling into his arms. Lips so soft they felt like pillows, not something you expected from lazy, late Yoongi.

“You smell nice,” he chuckled against your lips. “I love food. I especially love all the food you make.”

He kissed you between his words, light, feathery kisses that made you breathless.

“I should have told you every day,” Yoongi murmured. “Thank you for always packing everything so well and making my job so easy. Thank you for always making food for me and giving me the extras. Thank you for not firing me.”

You laughed a little against his lips. “You would have been fired a long time ago if you worked anywhere else.”

He kissed your forehead, a long, delicate one, far too beautiful to not be romantic. You felt your heartbeat slow to a crawl.

“I don’t want to work anywhere else,” he mumbled, so low you could barely hear him even though you were this close. “I want to stay by your side forever.”

What was this? Your hands tensed under his and he tightened his grip around your fingers.

“A little sudden for simply getting free food from your job,” you teased.

Yoongi lifted his face from your forehead, removing your hands from his chest. He turned them around, palms up, pressing his thumbs into them. Smiled down at you.

“It’s not free,” he said softly. “These hands work hard every day.”

Yoongi looked deep into your eyes.

“I never think the food you give me is free, because I see how much effort it takes to make them as delicious as they are.”

Your vision felt a little blurry for some reason.

“You should bring some to your parents. Your father would be proud of you.”

And for some reason, those words meant more to you than anything in the world.

“Is this vegetarian?” Yoongi asked curiously as he chewed.

“Yeah.”

He frowned a little. “I don’t like vegetables.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What are you, five?”

His eyes narrowed. “I was going to say, but I like this.”

You felt your ears burn. “Oh.”

Yoongi smirked, leaning over to kiss you, smelling like leather, silver rings glimmering in the kitchen lights.

3. smut.

masterpost

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi fluff #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #yoongi scenarios

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snorlaxlovesme · 4 years ago

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full thoughts on the chaos walking movie? I want to hear more about it lol I haven’t seen it yet

it just...it felt like TKONLG but without EVERY GOOD PART, you know?

scene-wise, the closest individual scene we had to anything in the book was maybe the scene where Viola read Todd’s mother’s book to him? (even that wasn’t the same bc that was also the scene where we find out he’s illiterate, and he lets her read it right away, so there was no deep-rooted embarrassment about not being able to read). also it happened in Farbranch. BUT, like it captured the emotion of the OG scene a little, where Viola is reading to Todd and he’s hearing his ma’s words and getting emotional about it.

but all the stand-out scenes from the book, i.e. saying goodbye to Ben and Cillian, meeting the girl and getting hit in the head with a branch and bandaging her anyway, ALL of the Aaron fights, the bridge, the massacre of Farbranch, the song of Here, the Spackle, Todd’s illness, the waterfall scene, Haven, NONE of that was in the movie. so imagine all the really important and powerful moments gone

also all the overarching themes? those are gone too. todd becoming a man is HUGE deal in the books. even in his horrible awful town he just wants to feel like he BELONGS and he’s the one person in the entire town being ostracized. two of the biggest secrets in Todd’s whole world are kept from him for the majority of the book because he’s “not yet a man”. it’s important to him. and once todd realizes the connection between Prentisstown maturity and murder, he spends the rest of that book WISHING he could be a killer. wishing he could have that kind of strength and seeing himself weak for not being able to kill.

all of that?? gone. movie!Todd often chants the familiar “I am Todd Hewitt” (and sometimes “be a man”) when he’s nervous or trying to cover something in his Noise, and has a little tiff with Ben and Cillian at the beginning of the movie bc the Mayor sees Todd as a man while Ben and Cillian do not. (that’s a weird little bit though bc the movie never really explains why the Mayor had such an interest in Todd). but that’s about it in terms of coming-of-age material in the movie. and about murder. seeing as he doesn’t. kill. the. Spackle. let that sink in.

also like. the Noise is shown as a CONCEPT but not as a theme. the THEME of Noise is that, and I quote

“In this world of information overload, the ability to feel, my boy, is a rare gift indeed.”

or perhaps

“Knowing a man’s thoughts ain’t knowing a man.”

or even

“Knowledge is dangerous and men lie and the world changes, whether I want it to or not.”

in this movie, Noise would be described as like. a nuisance at worst and a superpower at best. you can hear most of every man’s thoughts in the movie, though not a constant, never ending stream. just just bits sporadically at either plot-convenient or comedic times. the Mayor (and at one point Ben, and at one point Todd) uses his Noise to construct illusions around people kind of similar to that Jake Gyllenhaal villain in Spiderman: Far From Home.

but neither of these two main examples really SHOW the themes that Patrick Ness showed us in the books. that Noise is powerfully ANNOYING; that it can quickly break down relationships between groups of people; that it can be manipulated making large lies still possible.

like, remember when in the books, Todd and Viola get to Farbranch and poor Todd is absolutely GOBSMACKED that 1. the women are ALIVE and 2. the men and women are living together?? in harmony?? what the eff?? and you see Hildy in Tam’s Noise and just how much they genuinely love each other and Todd is like “damn we ain’t in Prentisstown anymore Manchee”. and you can just see based on the contrast that Prentisstown people are a whole different breed compared to the kindness of Farbranch?

in the movie Todd has a few moments of inner dialogue where he’s like “oh man that’s a woman. that’s nuts” and then we move on. his world should be turned upside down here and its not. and the difference between the two towns is that they kinda just made it seem like, yeah, Noise is annoying so we have the men sleep separately from the women so we all get a little peace, and it’s fine. that’s how Farbranch deals with it. it all just feels very blasé

(i can’t remember specifically where this happens, probably either in Farbranch or cutting back to the Prentisstown men getting ready to march, but at some point a leader ends up saying something to a crowd of people and you can see how just one sentence spreads through an entire group of men and how they all start amplifying it and getting more and more panicked and i did think the mob mentality was cool. it reminded me of the beginning of The Ask and the Answer were the Mayor is addressing the citizens of Haven and you get that moment where the whole crowd flinches over the words of one man.)

and in all of this I’ve barely mentioned Viola. my wonderful girl. how they’ve massacred her story. god.

all of Viola’s development for the first half of the book is tanked from the start bc you SEE the crash, you see her stealing food from Ben and Cillian’s house (that’s the inciting incident of the movie), she talks to the Mayor in Prentisstown almost immediately after Todd finds her and his Noise helps everyone locate her, she talks to Todd a lot before getting to Farbranch after they escape Prentissown. the book does a LOT of work for Viola by having her mute and scared for the beginning and slowly showing how she comes to trust Todd. and how even after their incessent bickering in Farbranch they still choose to escape together because they know the army is after them specifically and they’re all the other has. that progression is really important in the book, as well as afterwards when we see how snarky Viola can actually be when speaking, how she thinks this entire planet is BACKWARDS and she can’t wait til her ship comes and shows them a thing or two about how to live.

movie Viola, well. she wants to find a way to communicate with her ship. she’s under the impression that since her scout ship crashed they’re gonna assume she’s dead and leave her behind. even though the Mayor brings up the settlers a lot after he learns about them, Viola curiously never really brings them up in any other context besides they need to come and get her. like it really made it sound like she planned on calling them, having them scoop her, and then they’d all just fucking leave, i guess. i don’t know what her end goal was besides CALLING HER PEOPLE which became the main point of the movie. the Mayor trying to find Todd and Viola so he could....use her to contact the ship?? that was also kind of unclear. and Viola trying to get to a communicator possibly so she could get the hell out of dodge. idk if that was her actual plan, but it was certainly what Todd was thinking, enough to where I was wondering if he was going to sabotage her mission in order to force her to stay (yeah. yeah. he had that energy about him and it was grosss)

and quickly, since all the animals couldn’t talk the way they do in the book, Manchee was more of a cute prop than anything. i could have gotten over it if he was useful in any way, but he never even like attacked a dude to save Todd or anything like that. so when he died it was sad on a dog-level but not a character level, since besides sitting next to Viola like twice while she cried he really added nothing to the story. also the shock of animal death was greatly reduced already since Todd’s horse that he used to escape Prentisstown from got a broken leg after he rode him off a cliff, so Todd used the knife (off-screen, thank god) to put him down. so Manchee getting killed was kind of lessened a little since my man Whiskey got nixed like 40 min earlier in the film.

this is getting long so I’ll cut it here since I’m gonna probably post about this a thousand more times. but yeah. if you watched it completely divorced from the books you would probably think “that was a cool concept but also what was the point of any of that” which is basically what most people thought based on the review headlines i’ve read. and if you are an avid book fan you’re gonna think you’re watching something else entirely.

#chaos walking #chaos walking movie #cw movie #chaos walking spoilers #violaeade #long post #ill def be posting about this more bc its all ive thought about for days #@ everyone i am always willing to discuss chaos walking #if you wanna send me an ask or DM me im open for business #kelly got an ask

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fishylife · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 5,087 times in 2021

334 posts created (7%)

4753 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 14.2 posts.

I added 3,287 tags in 2021

#cdrama - 548 posts

#food - 485 posts

#soccer - 367 posts

#exo - 348 posts

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Longest Tag: 139 characters

#on my headboard i have a lamp / 2 teddies / cat doorstop that i don't use as a doorstop bc it's too cute / toilet paper roll / tissue packs

My Top Posts in 2021

Hyena Ep 12

- I was a bit confused about Geum-ja’s attitudes towards the case, but I think I agree with what Hee-jae. He said that she feels responsible for pushing Jeong-hwa to stay in a dangerous situation that she ended up dying for it. That was why Geum-ja was so weirdly neutral about it. She doesn’t want Chan-ho to have killed Jeong-hwa, because that would somehow exonerate her. At the same time, she is also hiding from her client the fact that she knew about Jeong-hwa’s relationship with Jun-ho, so she isn’t totally on Chan-ho’s side. So far, I think Geum-ja has hidden their relationship from everyone (except Ji-eun, who already knew before).

- I know I-jun’s job is basically just to look cute but I am but a shallow person and I cannot help but want to pat his head when he gets something done lol. All the other team members are so encouraging and reassuring to him, especially Chung-uk lol.

- So Geum-ja’s dad wants to threaten her. Geum-ja and Ju-ho think he doesn’t have evidence, but they’re also like WHAT IF. He’s just a huge thorn in their sides.

- Some corporate stuff happened. God, I’m really not interested in this corporate takeover stuff. It’s just that this show was never really about that stuff...even though it sort of was. Like, up until now the cases were more down-to-earth but now Song Pil-jung and Kim Min-joo are just playing with monopoly money as opposed to Hee-jae and Geum-ja who were doing like...more concrete field work. So getting Ju-ho to take over Issume and all the Kevin stuff just isn’t as interesting as the murder case.

- The ending was...not my favourite. The thing about romance is that sometimes you have a bunch of steps that are supposed to lead up to an acknowledgement that two parties are in love and in this case, I’m not sure that all the steps were there. You could say that Hee-jae’s jealous episode slowly got him to realize that he really had feelings for Geum-ja. The execution was very questionable though. As for Geum-ja, we had hints that she liked Hee-jae, or at least the idea of a lover, from the little things. But she spent the last handful of episodes getting annoyed at Hee-jae’s imposition on her personal life, so how did we jump from the little things through conflict into an acknowledgement of love? I know Geum-ja isn’t the kind of person to show her heart on her sleeve, but that doesn’t mean the writers can just give us nothing and be like “by the way Geum-ja is passionately in love with Hee-jae.”

- I guess Geum-ja “showing her love” was by telling Hee-jae that he needed to save his dad (?). Honestly that entire sequence was so weird. We barely saw Hee-jae’s dad, and even then, I felt like Hee-jae’s brother had more screen time in the recent episodes. And then all of a sudden Hee-jae’s dad is the one with the big target on his back that they all have to save. I’m probably just nitpicking, but when Hee-jae’s dad was talking to Pil-jung I was like “who’s this guy again? why do I care about him again?”

- This inheritance tax law side plot is also far less interesting compared to the MURDER MYSTERY we have going on. I understand that the big corporate merger and tax law cases are maybe more relevant to society as a whole, but like, as a viewer who wants to be entertained, it’s really breaking down the tension towards the end of the show when you should be ramping it up.

11 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 23:31:29 GMT

Another day, another redditor calling Nirvana in Fire a wuxia drama

12 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 17:30:50 GMT

Spoilers for Hyena Ep 8

- I really like Ji-eun’s character. She’s not dumb, she’s not just a mindless sidekick. She knows her job involves toeing the line, and she knows that her boss works in mob boss ways. But her boss is also a good boss, and gives her opportunities to shine. I love seeing the little scenes when Geum-ja indulges her, like letting her order something fancy for dinner. At the very least, Geum-ja is a good boss.

- Geum-ja and Yu-mi....interesting. Listen, Yu-mi is annoying, but she’s not a completely illogical character. She’s just very dramatic, and she is being chased down by scary loan sharks, so the theatrics get blown up. She may have made some mistakes along the way too (i.e. accidentally letting someone else know that Geum-ja and Hee-jae dated), but I don’t think any of this was like, illogical. Though Choo Dong-sik, rude. Just walks into someone’s office while they’re with a client without knocking? Though he might’ve also done it on purpose. Who knows.

- Anyway, I thought it was interesting that Geum-ja did initially try to talk to Yu-mi calmly. She did trick Yu-mi and so Yu-mi does deserve an explanation. It did get annoying when she spam called Geum-ja and Ji-eun so then Geum-ja was like aight gonna brute force this. But she didn’t do this because she’s friends with Yu-mi, she did this to stop Yu-mi from pestering her forever and ever lol.

- Kim Min-joo returns and we see that she’s put some blame of her sister’s accident on Song Pil-jung. What’s the story? We’ll find out eventually, but in any case, we know what’s between them is both personal and political.

- Let’s talk about the team dinner. Sang-mi has no idea how to read the atmosphere, yikes. After getting drunk, I-jun said that Hee-jae and Geum-ja were like hyenas because they were too busy fighting each other. That got me thinking though, maybe fighting each other is a distraction for both of them. To distract them from their own problems, and to distract them from their attraction to each other. That, or they fight each other because that is the only thing they can fight, the only thing they can fight for. The only thing that Geum-ja really fears is her dad and she couldn’t fight him (because she thought she was still in prison), and now she has a steady income from Song & Kim, so she doesn’t have to fight for survival anymore. So maybe she channels that survival instinct into her legal work. As for Hee-jae, as a descendant of a prominent family, he also has his hands tied. He makes one wrong move and his world comes crashing down. He’s already the black sheep of the family for being a lawyer and not a judge, so if he’s going to be a black sheep, he might as well do it well and show his family that he can. And though they are attracted to each other, they both have lots of pride in being independent. Their first relationship ended poorly, and I think that to both of them, they’d feel that giving in to their feelings would be surrendering to the other and showing weakness. This might be bordering on BS though lol. Just me trying to fit pegs in holes.

- Before, I had suspected that Geum-ja’s informant was maybe a brother, because she cares for him, but not in like, a mushy way, but more in a family way. And in this episode, I guess we can assume that they’re at least childhood friends. Anyway, I think he was a police officer but he got fired for leaking info to Geum-ja, but I think they’re still tight. The dude accepted Geum-ja’s money, so I don’t think that he hates Geum-ja, he knew what he was getting into.

- We got more backstory on Geum-ja. Her name was Jung Eun-yong. Her dad had “drunkenly” killed her mom and gotten off light for it, so she studied law to try to get her dad in jail. Then she set things up so that it would look like he’d stabbed her, which would get him in jail for 30 years. Makes sense in terms of why Geum-ja grew to be the kind of person that she is.

- When Jung Chun-su, Geum-ja’s dad, visited Geum-ja, she showed behaviour that indicated that she was afraid of him. When he tried to give her his business card, she stepped back, and she was very hung up over that. Why? Well, all along Geum-ja has showed that she fears nothing. Death literally does not scare her, as we saw when she had to fight that dude in the alleyway. And it’s because she was already prepared to die once, when she was planning to put her dad in jail. But when she was with her dad, that’s when we first saw signs of Geum-ja actually being afraid. Geum-ja is annoyed at this probably because she thought she’d moved past fearing him, but in front of him, she returns to being that young girl. Again, makes tons of sense.

- The other thing is that to Geum-ja’s annoyance, her dad is now supposedly a changed man. Now that Chun-su’s a religious man, he’d like Geum-ja’s forgiveness. Well, it’s a bit soon for that because Geum-ja has seen him for two seconds and he hasn’t proved to her that he’s changed. But also, sometimes people just don’t want apologies. I think Geum-ja would rather never see her dad ever again than to open old wounds. Sometimes apologies are only for the perpetrators and sometimes do nothing for the victims. Geum-ja is probably still reconciling this pastor with the dad that she remembered. To her, her dad will always be the one that hurt her. I half expect Geum-ja to forgive her father, but I sure hope the writers don’t make it easy for him, because he needs to have done way more than just “be a changed man.” If I were Geum-ja I’d honestly just want to...never see him ever again, regardless of whether he was repentant or not.

- So it looks like Hee-jae and Geum-ja really only talk when they’re drinking. They got into a slight argument at the team dinner, then Hee-jae sought out Geum-ja at that food place where her friend told her that he got fired, and then they were drinking at the end when Geum-ja was in her office after her dad left. Only when they’ve drunk do they ever even acknowledge what happened between them.

- After working together on their last case, I do think that Hee-jae has started to respect Geum-ja more as a person, and even though they did have a spat at the team dinner, he understands that Geum-ja is really upset. At the very least, Hee-jae sees Geum-ja as a peer who is in need. And Geum-ja reacted to his attention, telling him a bit about how she was feeling when she was talking to her dad. I think Hee-jae appreciated Geum-ja opening up at least a little. Geum-ja drew a line insisting that they weren’t going to start dating again, but accepted Hee-jae’s offer (?) and they probably had adult relations in that office (yuck, think of the cleaners). But in any case, their relationship has taken a step in a new direction. Now they are no longer just rivals. They also share a sort of intimacy that they wouldn’t share with anyone else. Geum-ja has probably never shared how she felt with anyone. Her childhood friend the informant already knew what was going on, and Geum-ja is professional enough that she wouldn’t share this information with Ji-eun either. And as for Hee-jae, I think he was taking a risk. I think earlier in the show Hee-jae said he’d never been in love, so like, him trying to cheer Geum-ja up and being there for her is probably kind of new for him too, and I feel like he’s probably pleased that Geum-ja was receptive to his offer of just being a comfort to her.

- I don’t think that the two of them will become awkward after this. I think they both knew what they were doing when Hee-jae offered to be a shoulder to lean on and Geum-ja accepted. Geum-ja said to forget what they were going to do. I don’t think they will, but I also don’t think it’d interfere with their work. Instead, I think that Geum-ja and Hee-jae will be...sort of more attentive to each other, now that they’ve seen each other in a different light, if that makes sense.

- When Yu-mi and Gi-hyeok were on their date, Yu-mi said how she was trying to change her memories. She’d visited that locale with her ex-husband, but now she was going to make new memories there by going on a date with Gi-hyeok. As for Geum-ja, she is still haunted by her old memories of her father. I brought this up because Geum-ja specifically said that the memories hadn’t escaped her, because even though her dad looked and behaved differently, her instinctive reaction toward him was to recoil. So we’ll see if/how she rewrites her memories towards him.

- So this was an episode that focused more on Geum-ja. We got a lot of questions answered, which is neat, and we’re introduced to her dad, who might be the only challenge in her life that she worries about. Literally nothing else in her life has ever worried her besides this guy.

13 notes • Posted 2021-08-14 01:01:25 GMT

Spoilers for Hyena Ep 6

- Ok I admit the end of this episode was preeetty hype, with the witness Kim Yeong-jun feeling secure and confident now that Son Jin-su has been arrested, and both Geum-ja and Hee-jae feeling out of their depth.

- The politics going on between Geum-ja and Hee-jae was pretty interesting. Boo Hyeon-a and Ga Gi-hyeok already had preconceived perceptions of who Geum-ja was, so she had that working against her. But she successfully wooed Kim Chung-uk over to her side. How so? I think the thing about Chung-uk is that even though he’s a partner, he’s not exactly ambitious in the traditional sense. We see that he’s introverted and kind of lives in his own world, which is why it’s easier for Geum-ja to win him over. Geum-ja is currently pretty unpopular around the office so for those who are career driven like Hyeon-a, it’s automatically not good to be associated with her, and Gi-hyeok was already best bros with Hee-jae already.

- This team of Geum-ja, Ji-eun, Chung-uk and the first year associate Na I-jun is kind of cute though?! Ji-eun is super used to all of Geum-ja’s ways of doing things, so there’s nothing new there. Chung-uk is the brains and the information gatherer and I-jun is just...the moral support XD It’s cute!

- As much as Geum-ja and Hee-jae hate each other, they do take their jobs seriously, and thus they put up a united front when conversing with their client Son Jin-su. I half expected the writers to make Geum-ja and Hee-jae argue in front of the client which would be so unprofessional, and so I’m super glad that they went with the path of common sense lol.

- I though it wouldn’t be as fun to watch Geum-ja and Hee-jae work together, but I am actually enjoying it. Hee-jae does the above the ground stuff and Geum-ja does the underground stuff. They both have very different approaches, and that way, they get all the bases covered. And what’s better is that Geum-ja is the one who takes the underground aggressive approach. When we have a duo consisting of a male and female character, I think normally people expect the woman to be like, refined and precise and totally courteous and the man to be the brute, but that’s subverted (somewhat) in this show. Hee-jae makes use of his reputation and his connections, though because he’s strictly dealing things in the “proper” way, he doesn’t necessarily always get the answers. As for Geum-ja, since she’s already bending the rules, she typically goes all out and bends them as much as she can to gather the evidence she needs.

- Who is Geum-ja’s informant? The last time we met him, it seemed like he and Geum-ja were at least on friendly terms, and the same happened this episode. Are they related? Past lovers? I wonder if he becomes an actual character later on.

- We got some internal politics from the supporting characters too. So apparently Kim Min-joo is Song Pil-jung’s sister-in-law, so I’m guessing the reason that they’re not at each other’s throats is because of family reasons.

- I can’t tell what’s going on with Yu-mi’s story line. I know she was supposed to be comedic relief, but she’s also the one with the testimonial evidence that Geum-ja had faked her identity to get evidence for the Ha Chan-ho case. Is that going to come back, or is the secret going to be safe? But the thing is, it was already established before that Geum-ja isn’t as scared as we may think she is for being disbarred. So I’m just wondering how big these stakes are supposed to be.

- Hee-jae was kind of exasperated with Geum-ja when he said that she was only into law for the money and I’m like ??? is anybody into their job not for the money??? I mean a lot of people are, but a lot of people aren’t. There’s an ongoing theme of class difference between Hee-jae and Geum-ja. Hee-jae comes from a wealthy background. He could pursue whatever he wanted and his family wealth would’ve been able to support him. Geum-ja has been on her own for a long time. And unfortunately in this world we live in, we need money to live. Again, she’s just ensuring her own survival. But with Hee-jae he sees everything about Geum-ja as less noble.

- Geum-ja had that violin music on her phone. Is it supposed to imply that she liked Hee-jae at least a little bit? The execution of that felt a little clumsy. I’ve never felt that Geum-ja felt anything other than like, a friendship born out of rivalry for Hee-jae. I’m not ready to accept that Geum-ja had real true love for Hee-jae.

- A note about violin music and the interiors of Song & Kim. Kdramas and even Korean movies seem to interpret Western culture in a similar way artistically speaking. The style of classical music isn’t necessarily classical music imo, it’s dramatic instrumental music, but a little bit modern so that it can seem cool and accessible to the modern viewer. This drama keeps using the same opening line of violin music throughout the drama so it’s very easy to recognize, but it gets real old real fast. But this kind of instrumental violin music is something I recognize in a lot of other Korean media. As for the interior design at Song & Kim, some of the more extravagant offices are like...a bit too dressed up (e.g. Song Pil-jung’s office). Like, I know the intention is to make it look like his office has a lot of fancy stuff, but the version presented in the drama just looks like a pop version, with all the colours, like it was a young person’s impression of what a rich old person would want in their office. So what I’m trying to say is that when this show is trying to express something that is high class and from Western culture, it tends to go for a version that is a bit more pop-ish, like a diluted version of it, but it’s diluted with very modern and young elements. I don’t know if this point made sense at all. Maybe I’ll be able to explain it better when I’ve thought about it more.

14 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 01:01:53 GMT

Guess who caved and read all 66 chapters of Painter of the Night? I don’t normally like to read comics that are still ongoing because I don’t like losing momentum while waiting for updates but here I am 🤡🤡

Spoilers.

I typed this while distracted so sorry for any muddled thoughts.

Story

I am glad that I read up to Chapter 66 because a huge misunderstanding was cleared up (the fact that Nakyum legitimately did not run away this time). I would’ve been pulling my hair out if the misunderstanding went on further (I HATE misunderstanding/miscommunication as a plot device).

A lot of people on the subreddit theorized that this was a huge turning point in the story. For the first time, we’re seeing Seungho show legitimate remorse and sadness over Nakyum’s suffering. Hopefully we’re going to see change his behaviour and act more reasonably towards Nakyum, and be more communicative about why he’s doing what he’s doing.

Though I think Nakyum is still a bit confused about his feelings for Seungho, he’s past the point of hating Seungho and wanting to leave. He said that he’d tried to run away before but he had nowhere to run to. He acknowledges that Seungho is a constant in his life, a protector and an indirect caregiver. But he’s still struggling with his feelings for Seungho.

In that way, Seungho and Nakyum are sort of opposite. Seungho recognized his romantic love for Nakyum first, but he couldn’t see how he was hurting him. As for Nakyum, he figured out how he could make Seungho happy early on, but he’s still struggling a bit with regards to how he feels about Seungho, likely because a part of his heart is still with Inhun. Again, he definitely recognizes Seungho as his protector (he’d instinctively called out to Seungho for help when he was kidnapped), but he’s still struggling over whether he’s in love with him.

This week we’re getting a continuation to the spinoff story so we won’t see the story pick up again until next week.

I do think the spinoff story is interesting. Currently, Seungho holds a lot of power over Nakyum, both in terms of political/administrative power, and physical power. But with Seungho as a peasant and Nakyum as a son of a noble family, Nakyum holds the social power over Seungho and it evens up their power dynamics a bit, which I do like. It feels safer for Nakyum lmao.

In terms of the style of story telling, it’s mostly angst, I’ll be honest. And it is rather melodramatic because miscommunication tends to be something the author uses quite a bit as a storytelling technique. Luckily, they’re not dragged out for too long.

Art

The art is pretty nice. It’s all in full colour, which surprised me. The art is extremely detailed. I wonder how the artist can do so much in a week lol. I hope they’re not overworked.

Seungho

Both Seungho and Nakyum have had their share of past trauma, but my thinking is that they’ve manifested in different ways.

It’s implied that Seungho’s father knew about his sexuality from a young age and tried to treat it through medical means and then by locking him up, which effectively stopped his education, despite him having been a bright student. Seungho then lived out his young adult days in debauchery. Early on, he implied that he was just living by his father’s principles, or something along those lines. My guess is that his dad left him behind so he could debauch in isolation without affecting the rest of the family.

So Seungho grew up without many close friends. He was surrounded by servants and yes men (like Jihwa) who would not call him out on his bullshit. So I think that’s how he developed his extremely bossy and abusive behaviour.

Why Nakyum was different for Seungho was that initially, he didn’t have power over Nakyum. He would tell him to do things, but Nakyum would not necessarily heed his commands, not painting, or trying to run away. His heart was still fully loyal to Inhun. So I think that was why Nakyum elicited extra violent behaviour from Seungho. Seungho had never been defied like this.

But I think Seungho was also intrigued by Nakyum. Nakyum was a contradiction because he drew smut but was always super embarrassed when faced with sexual situations irl. Seungho should've felt better when Inhun was sent away and Nakyum became submissive during sex and yet that’s when Seungho felt like something was wrong. Nakyum just kept eliciting unexpected emotions from Seungho. I definitely think Seungho saw him as a plaything at first, but came to care for him after he got to know more about him and his personal life.

Nakyum

Nakyum also came from a tough background. He was an orphan, and was raised along kisaeng ladies. Inhun was the first authority figure whom he’d had a positive impression of, and he latched on to him. He admired Inhun so much that he tried his best to listen to him when he told him not to draw erotic art anymore.

Inhun unfortunately didn’t see their relationship the same way. He showed a kind face to most of his students but he looked down on their lowly statuses. Only when he saw Nakyum as a pawn, did he give him attention. But he never hid his emotions, visibly expressing his anger when Nakyum wasn’t being a good spy, brushing off Nakyum’s confession of love.

Nakyum’s love for Inhun was so extremely pure and all-consuming. I cried when he was so swiftly rejected and condescended upon by Inhun T_T Because I knew how much courage it took for Nakyum to confess, how he wanted nothing but for Inhun to have good things, and Inhun cared not for any of that because it wasn’t want he wanted. Nakyum wasn’t helping him in the way he needed, and he cared far more for ambition than romantic love (not to mention romantic love from a lowly peasant).

After the rejection, Nakyum internalized Inhun’s words when he called him a prostitute. A part of him still loved Inhun and if he said that, Nakyum figured he must’ve been right. The other part of him decided that acting submissively to Seungho was the only way to survive.

Basically, Nakyum’s going through a huge emotional journey because his hero Inhun has kind of abandoned him (though he hasn’t forgotten him completely), but Nakyum hasn’t found a worthy person to give his heart to.

Seungho & Nakyum

I’m still thinking about their relationship and why we ship them despite the shit they’ve done (mostly the shit that Seungho’s done to Nakyum).

For Seungho, I think Nakyum was the first person he met who had a different way of expressing love. He’d never met someone like Nakyum who would stuff he despised just to help out Inhun. Even when Inhun didn’t show an inkling of appreciation. Perhaps Seungho felt that he didn’t know what love was until he met Nakyum.

As for Nakyum, he theorized that he was only desperate for affection and that was why he felt himself drawn to Seungho. I think that is technically true. But more than that, I think Seungho has arguably shown more levels of care to Nakyum than Inhun has. Yeah, Seungho has done horrendous stuff to Nakyum, but he’s also shown more affection to Nakyum. That includes physical affection, but Seungho also bought him warm clothes, called on a doctor to care for his health, etc. Again, all of the care absolutely does NOT cancel out the abusive behaviour on Seungho’s side, but that’s how I think Nakyum found himself feeling more and more comfortable with Seungho. Loving someone is about showing your bad sides as well as your good sides.

I think both Seungho and Nakyum are finding affection/care in forms that they’d never experienced before, and that’s why they are drawn to each other.

See the full post

40 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 00:30:34 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#tumblr #long post #it finally worked! X'D #the cuts don't work though so sorry for the huge long post!#also i feel like such a sham bc most of my most popular posts are me commenting in the replies which bumps the notes up ^^;;

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itslostfocus · 4 years ago

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Journey to Fluency - Steps I follow

Objective

The idea is to arrive to an advanced level in July 26th 2022.

To calculate this I searched how many hours it is needed to reach the fluency in Korean. Internet says that it is around 2500 hours seeing the kind of language it is (type 5 if I remember well). After some more research I realized that in general, I would spend like 3 hours every day in contact with Korean in an indirect or passive way, so I decided to extend that to 4 hours and mix both, active/direct and passive/indirect learning.

I do these 4 hours during the day not to overwhelm myself, also cause I have other stuff to do lol

Daily routine

1) 20 new words

I copy them from a list on an excel file to have them in a table form with the meaning and examples.

Then I make flashcards with their meanings and a picture (I'm a visual learner). I use quizlet but use any flashcards system you want. The important is to make them and review them right away and any time you want. In my case I play basically all the modes quizlet has.

After that, you will see which words are the hardest for your mind to stick with. Then write then down with an example from a dictionary to give it a context and make the correlation between the word and the meaning easier. I use the method explained by Lindie Botes here and has worked so well! Aka red for Korean, blue for English and black for the examples (I write these examples on the excel).

2) Grammar point

I study 1 grammar point per year. Until now I'm reviewing what I have already learned cause grammar is the hardest thing for me to remember and I always tried to hurry things up to "learn more" and all I did was read but not actually learn. Don't make the same mistake! Allow yourself to take your time to learn well

To study better I have made a flashcards deck when I write the name of the grammatical structure and what it's used for. Also I have made like a table where I write examples, the usage, the sequence, how it changes if the previous word ends in a vowel or consonant etc.

3) Hanja (한자)

After like a week or so into the routine I realized that my brain works better learning words individually and then making sentences and phrases from them, instead of learning full sentences. So to use that, I decided to add hanja as a way to help me to learn vocabulary better since in that way I can connect and relate words based on their origin. It's pretty cool and til now it hasn't been something too complicated for me, it just requires practice.

I do 3 hanja characters per day using the lessons from How To Study Korean here and take notes (there are books, apps, videos based but I find this way better for me). Then make flashcards and review them, and I write them down on an excel file as it is a table so I can have a record of everything and an easier way to review.

I personally recommend to start with hanja once you are used to read hangul and have a good base of basic vocabulary so it won't be confusing. But well you decide according to your situation.

(Plus if you want to learn Japanese, as I do, it will be super useful cause it's the same -except for some points- than kanji so. And well of course really helpful if you want to learn Chinese since these are chinese characters)

4) Listen / Read / Watch

This is basically all the passive/indirect way of learning. Add playing games if you want lol.

I don't take notes of anything I see in here cause I don't want to set the mindset of "oh I need to be aware of all words to later search on naver and make flashcards". These are things I do to make my ears and brain get used to the sound of the language and be able to understand people when they speak, and also to have fun. Disconnect your learning thoughts and just enjoy what's happening, sooner or later you will see how you understand stuff just by listening and seeing.

Here I...

Listen to songs and read the lyrics.

Watch videos on youtube, variety shows, etc with korean subtitles, or without subtitles if it's something that I have already watched before.

Read webtoons or social media posts or anything you find that has Korean written.

5) Learning focused apps

The goal of the app, in my opinion, is to practice making sentences and get used to the different structures without reading them from a book or a lesson format. Also if it has a streak format it works to establish a routine.

I used lingodeer before and now I'm using duolingo. There are many more, so choose your fav ^^

I don't take notes here either for the same reason explained before.

6) Daily posts on social media

This is a way to not only keep a record of the journey, but also to interact with other learners and native speakers and to force yourself to continue the routine since you have to leave a record of it.

So don't stress yourself about making pretty notes, what matters is for to learn and proudly show how well you are doing 💜

(Optional) 10 daily phrases / sentences

When I started the journey I had this instead of the hanja, but how I explained on that point my brain simply doesn't learn from phrases, it needs to know the meaning of each word (or most of them) before forming or understanding sentences. If I don't know all the words but some of them I can already understand by context, but I need to know words. If the sentence only has words I don't know, my brain simply ignores it, even if I can read what it means.

I decided to change it cause it became really hard after some days and it was starting to make the whole routine stressing just for that.

I will see if I do it again in a future, but for now it's not something I consider lol.

The most important things

Remember to rest well, eat well, sleep well. Learning is easier like this. If you want to take a break or take naps, do it. Your brain needs energy to work, more to learn, so take care of it.

Copy this routine or make your own adding or taking things out. Do what works the best for you and spend the time you want and can on it. If you can do it for hours, great for you, if you can do it for 5 mins, great for you, all is progress. The important is to establish a routine that is easy to follow.

Enjoy every day of the journey!

Sooooooo that's all! I hope this can be helpful to anyone, for Korean or for any other language.

Happy learning 여러분! ^^

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shagami · 3 years ago

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Soooo on Fab 9th....

I would like to add a quick warning as I’ll be adding a link to some images After the main story and under a read more... It will contain stitches and bruises. You have been warned.

So on Feb 9th 2022. i got home from work around 145pm, I noticed the one of the trashcans was still out so after I unlocked the front door and put my stuff down, I went back outside to bring it in. I let our 1 year old Husky Pit Bull mix, Parker, out into the front yard since he had been alone for a couple hours.

I shut the front gate and started to bring the trashcan up to our side gate, however it was locked. So I left the can near the gate and went to go get the key, when I was coming back thru the front gate I noticed we had some mail so i grabbed it. As I was walking back towards the front door, I dropped a letter. I went to go put the other mail on the table while calling for Parker to come back inside.

I went back outside to grab the letter I dropped. I bent down to pick it up and BAM Parker came from my left side and hit me in the left eye with his head. It hurt so badly, I knew it was going to bruise. I had put my left hand over my eye and had my Glasses in my right hand. As I was cussing how much it hurt and was on my way back inside, i felt something run down my arm. That is when I noticed I was bleeding, badly.

I went to grab some paper towels and dripping blood all over the floor. I started to put pressure on it. Parker finally came back inside and I closed the screen door. I kept pressure on the wound while I cleaned up the blood I left on the floor. After a few mins I went into the bathroom to check it out in the mirror and saw the gash. It was a good 2-3 cm. I took some pics sent them to my mom and a couple other people and they said You gotta go to ER for stitches... Im like Ill go to urgent care when someone gets home. Meanwhile I tried a couple things to make the bleeding stop. More Pressure, some gauze and tape but that only held for an hour. I found my moms well stocked first aid kit and looked through it. I found some suture tape and cut some into 3 small piece and placed it over the wound. I then put another band-aid on it. That held together until someone could get home to take me to urgent care.

I arrived at urgent care around 5pm or so I finally got seen about 555pm or so. Urgent care doctor said I did a good job with the suture tape. i had to get 3 stitches and a tetanus shot since my last record shot was in 1993 lol. The stitches were in by 615pm and After waiting a bit for the shot to settle I was out by like 630pm.

I have to put Vaseline or Aquaphor on it every so often and cover it when I go to sleep. The morning of the 10th I took another picture, cleaned it softly with some cool water. It was red-ish but not bad so I went to work. I was in pain the whole shift and it just felt hot the whole time and since I didn't cover it since it was super hot out, everyone was wondering what happened.

So today, When I woke up I was in a lot of pain and I couldn’t open my eye since it was swollen and red. I got up looked in the mirror and called out of work. I eventually got around to a shower. I used gentle products on my face and made sure not to scrub it too hard. I took another picture after I got out. That was about 1020am It looked way worse today than it did yesterday. It was warm again today so I had to wipe my face with a cold wash cloth then after reapply the Aquaphor. I took another picture around 530pm It still looks pretty bad and it hurts and is starting to burn and itch which I guess is good cuz that means its healing....

After the read more / line break I will post posting an image so please be warned. And yea that was my eventful last couple of days lol

#warning stitches and bruises

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dilfsenshi · 4 years ago

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hi. im going to give you my pasta tomato sauce resippy, ok?

youll need a liquidiser of some kind for this. a stick blender is the best for this, and if you dont have one and can afford one i thoroughly recommend it, def my fav kitchen appliance lol.

this is a great recipe that i make all the time. it makes a huge amount of sauce that you can then freeze and defrost whenever you dont want to cook. ive persuaded myself its very cost effective vs jars of sauce, but ive never actually sat down and done the maths to verify it lol. its def reasonably cheap though, its all veggies! this sauce always comes out a little different every time, which i quite enjoy :)

heres the ingredients list

1kg of tomatoes

2-3 medium carrots

1-2 sticks of celery

1 large onion (red onion is delicious on this, but brown is good too)

2 peppers (red + another is best but it doesnt matter too much)

garlic. i wont tell you how much you should use, i trust you. i tend to go for 5-6 cloves though

OPTIONAL chilli. i usually have a spare birdseye lying around

OPTIONAL mushrooms

OPTIONAL tomato paste/pure, if u live in a country where tomatoes are a bit flavourless (like the uk 🤕)

herbs and spices of your choice. recommended: oregano, paprika, chilli powder (if no fresh), mixed herbs, fresh basil

ok! you can make more sauce really easily by just adding more veg. i often use more than a kilo of tomatoes, its really not a precision recipe. its is technically very easy, it just requires a lot of veg chopping. it will take anywhere between 40 mins to an hour and a bit, depending on how fast you chop.

get a BIG pot and put it on low heat. chop your tomatoes into quarters w a serrated knife and put them in your pot. the idea is these will eventually break down. you may need to squeeze them down a bit with a wooden spoon. you dont need to wait for them to do so completely, just until theres enough liquid for your keep your other veg from burning

chop your onions and garlic and add them to the pot. youll want to do this with all your veg believe it or not.

the order i generally go in is onion+garlic > fresh chilli > carrot > pepper > celery. just roughly chopped is fine, just so long as it cooks! dont put the mushrooms in right now, the texture will be unpleasant.

once everythings in, youll need to add 1 1/2 tsp of sugar. this step is important, dont be tempted to skip it. itll cut down the acidity of the sauce and make it edible lol

it all needs to cook for about 15 minutes. if youre me, youll spend this time cracking open a beer and doing the dishes youve been ignoring all day.

once youre done with the dishes, your sauce will be ready for mushrooms and seasoning. you can add more herbs and spices later once youve blended your sauce, so dont go overboard. add the purée at this point, if using.

cook for another 10-15 mins, until your veggies are soft, then blend!

once its smooth, adjust seasoning and purée to taste and then add 1/2 tbsp of oil. i dont know what this step does but my mummy tells me to do it and i listen to her. keep your heat very low, as your sauce will spit a bit at this stage. cook for another 2-3 mins, and youre done!

i hope you enjoy my resippy and if you dont pls dont tell me ill get sad

#savoury #mine #sauces #freezable

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365text · 5 years ago

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{ 2020 quarantine challenge :: day 1 } how i plan my days + my “study” schedule

basically a wEek in the LiFe of a bErkEley (graduating) senior + deep dive into how i plan and remember each day i spend in quarantine while still attending ~*zoom university*~ !! yeet

• an introduction •

because i spend a lot of time online, i find that my google calendar is the quickest and easiest way for me to manage my time !! though i use my planner / bullet journal on a daily basis to manage my TODOs (+ to journal), i find that gcal gives me the best flexibility and efficiency when it comes to actually planning out and scheduling my day!

the fact that i can check it on my phone while i’m on the go (hurray @ integration across devices) also helped a lot when i was still on-campus and didn’t have the ability to take out my planner from my backpack. and even now in quarantine, when i don’t want to be on my laptop, i can just quickly glance at whatever mobile device to see what i need to do next!

but ya, here comes a (very long) breakdown of how i use this system to keep my days goin’ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

(1) color coding + customizations

i am, as many of my friends have pointed out, an aggressive color-coder 👀 i just really like to be able to look at my calendar at the start of the day and have a good idea of what kind of things i need to take care of! to go through my separate calendars/categories in (reverse) order:

bright red (tests) || to remind me when my exams are, not that i’d forget 🤪

light gray (school) || all things school related! classes, student orgs, meetings, etc.

bright blue (teaching duties) || class i’m a TA for

dark blue (csm, aka more teaching) || student org i’m a part of

orange (exercise) || everything health + wellness related

yellow (events) || all my non-school related Events™ that i schedule (ie. socials, calls with friends, anything rly a step from a ~regular daily activity~)

maroon (chinese hw) || hw + projects assignment due dates

light green (daily) || my day-to-day activities

i like having separate categories correspond to colors that i associate with them too! bright red for alarm (exams lmao), light gray for school (muted, in the background hah), light green for daily (because it’s also more muted/in the background, but still prominent enough that i’ll notice it heh), and yellow for fun! events! (because it’s warm and cheerful).

(2) separate calendars customization

most of my colors correspond to separate calendars, partially because it’s faster to create a color-coded event if you have it in a separate calendar! at least, it is on desktop heh. and also! i find that it’s easier to customize more things on an individual calendar basis:

notifications: each calendar/category has different notification settings. my “tests” calendar reminds me 1 week + 2 weeks in advance, "school” is just 10 min. in advance, whereas “daily” has no reminders at all! i customized these settings according to how often i felt like i needed help remember when certain things were.

colors (lol): in case it wasn’t obvious, colors matter a lot to me LOL. you can choose your own custom colors if it’s a separate calendar, and you can only use the google calendar default colors if you’re “recoloring” an existing calendar event.

display: it’s nice to also be able to toggle on/off various calendars!

but ya those are the main reasons why i use separate calendars instead of just recoloring the events in a single calendar!

(3) creating structure

because as a college student we usually have a good amount of free/flexible time, i find creating structure to be very important for me — and this is true for almost all students now during times in quarantine, when everything is kind of up in the air / go-at-your-own-pace.

i feel like the nice thing about being a student is that we usually have repeating events, so i like to set recurring calendar events to help create a regular structure on a weekly basis. usually i sit down at the start of the semester with my schedule/syllabi and just add everything in one go.

and now in quarantine, even if you aren’t given a schedule to follow and if working with a schedule is helpful for you, then creating that structure yourself is a nice way of adding consistency and stability back into your life :’)

the first calendar photo is how my gcal looks at the start of the week before any planning happens!

(4) time blocking

i once read that time blocking (re: setting aside chunks of time for a single task) is optimal for efficiency / mental energy. typically it’s easier for people to focus on one task for an extended period of time (with breaks) than it is to multitask or context-switch super often.

i also find that sometimes my schedule has weird gaps in it, due to the way my mandatory events are set up. so time blocking has helped me determine when i can get certain things done, or if i just wanna take a break in my awkward 30 min. gap between meetings!

the way that i time block is usually:

write in my planner all my (intended) TODOs + goals for the day

look at my calendar for the day + start planning when i’ll do which TODOs using my (default) calendar DAILY

i only plan the day of in my google calendar, because things change and who knows how much i’ll actually get done ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ also it’s a relaxing thing for me to sit there and journal/plan before i get started with my day hehe. a morning ritual, in a sense!

it also makes it a lot less stressful to look at my calendar, because i only ever look at the current day i’m on and what to do on that particular day. the interface of google calendar makes it really easy for me to drag events around and update time estimates as the day progresses too!

i also find it very useful for me to see what it’s actually possible to get done in my day, since sometimes my TODO list can be a lil’ too ambitious (oops 😋)

(5) daily logs + journaling

and lastly, i have some friends who have completely forgone their gcals since things moved online, but i have actually leaned on it even more —

one reason is all the stuff i listed above (structure, efficiency, also just habit at this point haha). but another really important reason to me is the logging that my gcal calendar creates! since i just spend every day at home, i feel like days were passing by a lot more quickly + in a blur, and by “writing down” everything i did/planned to do on gcal, i’m able to remember what i’ve been doing during these really interesting times o:

it helps me when i journal at the end of the day / the next morning, because i just look back at my gcal to reference what things i did, and then journal about how i felt about those activities.

• the ending •

aaaaand that’s it!

my super long documentation on how i’ve managed my time these past few years in college + in this 2020 quarantine era :’)

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kirstinmaldonado · 5 years ago

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CHAPTER EIGHT 2.0

>>Delayed post because birthday week had all the friend surprises and snuggles and I got a bit distracted but…still wanted to post<<

It’s my birthdayyyy week~! My biiiiiiirthday week!

The dreaded time has come? The anticipated event is here? Honestly 28 felt so far away for quite some time, I’m kinda in denial that one, it’s May already and two, I’m going to be 28 this Saturday!!

So far I’ve been filling the week with cuddles, some friends and family calls, and oooo another BESTIE PRODUCTIONS vid?!? We had planned on releasing earlier, but why the rush? Why take the joy out of creating for fun by setting deadlines that don’t really matter?

Anyway, we hope you love it! It’s always important to unite and spread some relatable cheer especially in such a divisive climate! More on that coming…I don’t mean to do it but…soon. Lots of moving parts and our lives are picking up in different and amazing ways but we still hope to get it out!

Phew. No hashtags here! ;)

So many events happened over the last few days, good and bad! Some even that I am disappointed in, ashamed of, or at a loss for. But! This week is all about self-care! I’ll save the heavy for another time. ;)

Self-care, in its many facets, is so important! Self-care is making healthy food choices to nurture your body so it can be at optimal output. Self-care is strengthening and nourishing your mind by learning something new, doing a hobby you love, meditating, or just purely relaxing. It’s having the awareness to say no when you don’t want to do something or you know the adverse is better for you. Really, self-care is ALL ABOUT YOU!

Biggest of all, self-care is NOT selfish! Everyone needs to be self-aware and know when to take some personal time. Everyone decompresses in different ways. Sometimes that’s choosing an introverted quiet night as opposed to an extroverted one, or splurging on something to make you feel special, or baking way too many cupcakes and eating also way too many (if you’re me, ha)!!

With all the rushing around and intensity we’ve trained our minds and bodies to endure, with all the added stress of not even wanting, but NEEDING to succeed and flourish, that self-care dwindles. Sometimes it feels like you have to put YOU aside because everything else is so overwhelming!

I remember in the past thinking that skin-care took such a loooong time and felt not worth it. My skin (thank you, Mother) was pretty damn flawless for how (wrongly) I’d been taking care of it, so why bother?

That was before I met my sweet Klara!! And while my skin wasn’t in desperate emergency levels of fixing, she reminded me that pre-meditative care is crucial and so is slowing down and taking the time for myself!

Klara and I met years ago when I was in NYC looking for a lash lift. Pentatonix had just started taking off and just recently Klara had opened her own med-spa in the city. We bonded instantly and have been friends ever since!!

Meanwhile, if you live in NYC and want the best lash lift ever, ya gotta go to Klara, HANDS DOWN!

Every time Pentatonix would be in NYC, I would go visit her. Even if I didn’t need anything done or didn’t have the time, I would stop in and say hello because that is the type of beautiful energy she is! And slowly, we began growing together!

I love my friendship with her because not only did she love on my eyelashes, skin, face, etc and teach me how to do the same at home, but she’s been there through the last six or so years of my life! I have transformed into a much more self-aware, happier, and self-comfortable person and I treasure her sincerity, compassion, and late night chats so so much!!

Although I don’t get to see Klara all the time as she is based in NYC, I always have other forms of self-care in a similar vein. As we all know, Covid has shut down pretty much all forms of outside self-care treatments, although someone should tell the people in charge that self-care is essential, eh?!

I kid. Jokes aside, I miss relaxing my body and mind to a caregiver. I miss getting my hair done, getting a mani-pedi, tanning, and getting a massage! I miss that “treat yo self” feeling, and drinking champagne while doing them all, ha!

So, for my birthday week, I wanted to share with you a fun DIY self-care facial curated by Klara herself! My chin has been OUT OF CONTROL and colonizing a little zit farm, so freshening up before my big day (inside lol) felt perfect!!

Since she initially sent me this, she has curated a NEW personalized facial package that she will guide you through on Zoom, but regardless she is an angel for all your skin questions and needs!

>>By the way now that this is posted a week later…my skin has NO JOKE been FLAWLESS! Klara is still a queen for the win but also loving on your face and listening to what it needs also FTW<<

So here I am au natural, pre-peel!!

ONE. PREPARE YOUR STATION! PUT NICE MUSIC ON, A CANDLE, WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO PROMOTE A RELAXING VIBE! HAVE A CLEAN COUNTER WHERE YOU CAN PLACE THE DENTAL BIB AND LAY EVERYTHING OUT!

TWO. WASH YOUR HANDS! ;)

THREE. USE JAR #1 WITH FIRST CLEANSER, ADD WATER, FOAM, BE PRECISE AROUND JAW AND EARS ETC, RINSE, PAT DRY.

FOUR. REPEAT THE SAME WITH JAR WITH CLEANSER #2 (THE CREAM, IT WILL NOT FOAM) RINSE AND DRY

>>Already my face is feeling much softer!<<

FIVE. POUR THE MINI CHEMICAL PEEL (VIAL #3) ONTO COTTON PAD, WIPE WHOLE FACE GENTLY! I EXPERIENCED THE TINGLING AND EEE YES MY FACE GOT RED, BUT NOTHING MAJOR! LEAVE ON FOR 3/5 MIN!

SIX. USE JAR #4 (GLYCOLIC CLEANSER), RINSE AND DRY.

SEVEN. THEN APPLY SERUMS (JUST FEW DROPS) ALL OVER THE FACE

EIGHT. MASQUE FOR 10 MIN.

NINE. MOISTURIZE!

HAPPY GIRL! I felt AMAZING, y’all!!

You can check out Klara’s ZOOM FACIAL PACKAGE here and on social media outlets! And I am NOT kidding, my skin was SO SOFT!!! I felt less bumpy, less exposed! And it’s stayed like that too!

This little self-love moment put me in the perfect headspace for a birthday weekend, especially when that weekend was not according to plan! Life is about continuously adapting, taking what you have in front of you, and trying to make the best of the situations you are presented! You can only control so much! So why not focus on positivity?

I was so thankful for this little pick me up that made me feel good about being in my skin, something I’ve struggled on and off with the entire rest of quarantine! But overall I am SO thankful for how special my friends, my boyfriend, my family, YOU GUYS all made me feel! I didn’t feel devoid of any of your love and care. And thank you so much for that!!!

28 has started out so special in some (feeling) unspecial circumstances. I will always rise and fall and even have so far in these mere hours of 28! But I am so happy for your support. Just remember to always support yourself too!

So on that note, I hope you find time before the month is done for some EXTRA self-care!!!

And happy 3 years to Break a Little <3

Love you all!

#blog 2.0 #self-care

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jjongslight · 3 years ago

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wtf are ur taemin tags like does ur brain break when u blog about him i mean can you please actually explain them bc im literally intrigued

HAHAHAHA ''does ur brain break'' stoooop, let me be. I was just thinking the other day I have too many tags for that bitch. XD

I have been asked this before actually!!!

Here it is but I'll also copy/paste it in this one cause I can lol And I'm adding my two latest Tae tags as well!

I wish my brain actually broke, but you shall see how much detail goes into this (fml)

1) My queen : That bitch has proclaimed himself my queen since my early shawol years, so it is what it is. XD

2) Fucktiddyboy : I know that came from when he went on that Jpn show and they exposed the pic of his buff CHEST and then there was that segment where he was talking about wanting to receive fans’ bras on stage. That whole circus had me thinking “what a fuckboy” that +his tiddies and the mention of fans’ bras created that tag.

3) Thémine : If you don’t know my first language is french so that’s just like a fun play on phonetics - “thé” (which means tea in french) sounds like “tae” and to get “min” in french it would have to be spelled “mine”. So that’s it.

4) Cultaeleader : That was related to the Sperm trailer of his, especially that shot with him on top of the STAIRCASE and just his whole vibe.

5) Tiermin : I wish I had a clever thing to say about this one. But I just started calling him that out loud (I tend to just deform every word and try to find ways to play with them) and at some point, I realized that it also worked as a play on words in english for like “top-tier” taemin.

6) Lire Taemin : Another thing with me playing with phonetics and words. I realized that “Lee” sounded like “Lit” which is the third person singular of “Read” and “Lire” is the infinitive verb so it gave birth to “Lire Taemin” which also translates to “Read into Taemin”. I like to think that I’m clever hehe

7) Supreme Taemin : Ah this one is clear ain’t it. He just gave us all that one really. The fit, but also how he is supreme!

8) Je t'aemin : Again play on word in french. That was just an easy association for my brain (it's been in there for a long time, but I officialized it as a tag once he left for the military - before you point out what ''je t'aime'' means, I'll stop you right there. I don't love him, we're just playing with words here, thank you.

9) Taevoid : He left for the military... There is a void... a Taevoid. I miss hating on him.

To be continued... asjdasdhsadhsahda

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simmerberlin · 5 years ago

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POSING TUTORIAL: NATURAL POSES

Hewwoo!! Welcome to posing tips & tricks with Bee vol. 2! (You can find the first one here [x] ) This time, I gathered up some tips for natural looking poses. Let’s go!

1. Shoulders

Do you see the difference between this and this?

Yes, I can see that too. The Clavicle points make all the difference my friends. They are your friends, they are nice, they are good for you. So please use them. Let’s start over, step by step:

2. Spine

Bend the spine gradually. That’s all. (At least it’s easy to remember lol) These points should look like they are bent gradually, I mean, unless you’re trying to achieve the other one...

3. Height Difference

When making poses with height difference, the most important thing is stretching multiple points subtly, so the overall proportions can be preserved.

When selecting symmetrical points, like ankles, first select one and then, holding shift, select the other one, then use the blue arrow to stretch them simultaneously (so that they would be even).

4. Reference Pics

I don’t usually do that, but having reference pics is good when you’re making complicated poses.

After adding your reference picture, you can make your complicated pose more easily.

5. Listen to Blender

Okay, this is maybe the easiest but most crucial tip: If you’re trying to bend or twist something, and Blender makes it look bad, it’s most probably because what you’re trying to do is anatomically incorrect. Let’s say, if you want to twist a hand, you should start twisting it from the shoulders, again, gradually.

6. Mind the Gap!

Another crucial tip especially for making couple/group poses, don’t make them touch each other tightly. If you leave a subtle gap between them, you can prevent clipping in game. There are two reasons for that, first, the physical features of your sims are usually different than these rigs’, and secondly, these rigs are (almost) naked, you gotta leave some space for clothes.

7. Take breaks!

Okay I know it’s not exactly a blender tip but try to rest your eyes in every 30 mins, and by resting, I mean look at somewhere else, stand up, take a walk to the kitchen or bathroom, open a window, look at the sky. Staring at all these little dots is tiring for your eyes so try to give them a break once in a while.

That’s all for today, hope it was helpful! Take care guys :)

#my tutorials

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writing-prompts-for-friends · 5 years ago

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Notes on Robert McKee’s “Story” 23: Tearing Down Act Design

☝ Maybe this post will make you throw out the storytelling map your English teacher gave you.

Every single person who has taken a literature class has seen a diagram along these lines at some point. This is the one-track path that all “Good Stories” must take:

But do all “Good Stories” really have to follow this trajectory? And where exactly do subplots fit in on this? In this post, I share Robert McKee’s answers to these questions.

How Many Acts?

First, what even is an act? Let’s make sure we have a clear understanding.

“As a symphony unfolds in three, four, or more movements, so story is told in movements called acts--the macro-structure of story.

Beats, changing patterns of human behavior, build scenes. Ideally, every scene becomes a Turning Point in which the values at state swing from the positive to the negative or the negative to the positive, creating significant but minor change in their lives.

A series of scenes build a sequence that culminates in a scene that has a moderate impact on the characters, turning or changing values for better or worse to a greater degree than any scene.

A series of sequences build an act that climaxes in a scene that creates a major reversal in the characters’ lives, greater than any sequence accomplished.”

Okay. So how many should acts should we have? Most famous works we’re familiar with have three acts, as illustrated in our picture above. But is that the golden rule?

According to McKee and Aristotle, no, three acts is not the golden rule. A good story can have just one act--we may see this in a one-shot fanfiction or a short story.

A story can have two acts as well, most commonly seen in sitcoms, novellas, or hour-length plays.

However, when a work reaches a certain length, such as a feature film, an hour-long TV episode, a full-length play, or a novel, three acts are the minimum.

Why is this? Who decided that three is the magic number?

“As audience we embrace the story artist and say: ‘I’d like a poetic experience in breadth and depth to the limits of life. But I’m a reasonable person. If I give you only a few minutes to read or witness your work, it would be unfair of me to demand you to take me to the limit. Instead I’d like a moment of pleasure, an insight or two, no more than that. But if I give you important hours of my life, I expect you to be an artist of power who can reach the boundaries of experience.’

In our effort to satisfy the audience’s need, to tell stories that touch the innermost and outermost sources of life, two major reversals are not enough. No matter the setting or scope of the telling, no matter how international and epic or intimate and interior, three major reversals are the necessary minimum for a full-length work of narrative art to reach the end of the line.

Consider these rhythms: Things were bad, then they were good--end of story. Or things were good, then they were bad--end of story. Or things were bad, then they were very bad--end of story. Or things were good, then they were very good--end of story. In all four cases we feel something’s lacking. We know that the second event, whether positively or negatively charged, is neither the end nor the limit. Even if the second event kills the cast: Things were good (or bad), then everyone died--end of story--it’s not enough. “Okay, they’re all dead. Now what?” we’re wondering. The third turn is missing and we know we haven’t touch the limit until at least one more major reversal occurs. Therefore, the three-act story rhythm was the foundation of story art for centuries before Aristotle noticed it.”

Act Length

(For the sake of explanation, let’s stick with the Three Act pattern.)

Take a look at that diagram that you were probably forced to memorize in lit class again.

Here, we see that all three acts are equal in length.However, McKee provides a different distribution. He stresses that his diagrams are foundations and not formulae, and while his are specifically for the film medium, he believes that they are applicable to the play and novel as well.

For now, let’s just look at the Central Plot timeline and disregard subplots. In his foundation, he has broken a 118 minute, three act film into the following pieces:

Act 1: 30 mins (25% of film)

Act 2: 70 mins (60% of film)

Act 3: 18 mins (15% of film)

Notice in particular how short the last act is compared to the others. McKee states, “In the ideal last act we want to give the audience a sense of acceleration, a swiftly rising action to Climax.” If we draw out the last act too much, we run the risk of slowing pace and taking away from the momentum we have built up.

Now let’s take a look at Act 2. It’s a whopping 60% of the film. That feels like a lot to me. McKee echoes something that Stephen King wrote in his book On Writing, that it is the second act where things can get claggy and boring. So how can we keep from getting stuck in the swamp that is Act 2?

Add subplots or more acts.

Subplots are such an important topic that they necessitate their own post, so for now let’s just discuss when we would add more acts.

How Many Acts?

“Not every film needs or wants a subplot: THE FUGITIVE. How then does the writer solve the problem of the long second act? By creating more acts. The three-act design is the minimum. If the writer builds progressions to a major reversal at the halfway point, he breaks the story into four movements with no act more than thirty or forty minutes long.

A film could have a Shakespearean rhythm of five acts: FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL. Or more. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK is in seven acts; THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE & HER LOVER in eight. These films turn a major reversal every fifteen or twenty minutes, decisively solving the long second act problem. But the five- to eight-act design is the exception, for the cure of problem is the cause of others.”

So maybe you have a thriller you want to write, and you’re sick of there being a stupid romance in every single story that comes out these days (Oops, are my own opinions bleeding into this? lol), so you want to write just a straight up thriller, with NOTHING else going on but the central plot. Cool!

In order to avoid the slowdown in Act 2, you may want to consider adding another act, thereby shrinking the length of Act 2, giving you another chance for another exciting twist.

However, beware because adding acts can cause some of the following problems in your story:

The multiplication of act climaxes invites cliches.

For each act there must be a climax. And each climax must be progressively greater than the last. It is difficult enough to think of the three climaxes we need for a regular three-act story. You’ll be dipping down deep into that well of creativity.

The multiplication of acts reduces the impact of climaxes and results in repetitiousness.

“Even if you have a limitless well of creativity, turning act climaxes on scenes of life and death, life an death, life and death, life and death, life and death, seven or eight times over, boredom sets in. Before too long the audience is yawning: “That’s not a major turn. That’s his day. Every fifteen minutes somebody tries to kill this guy.”

What is major is relative to what is moderate and minor. If every scene screams to be heard, we go deaf.

This is why a three-act Central Plot with subplots has become a kind of standard. It fits the creative powers of most writers, provides complexity, and avoids repetition.”

So feel free to have more acts, but in moderation. Next, let’s take a look at some non-standard act patterns you may want to use.

False Endings

What’s a false ending? You’ve seen it a thousand times over. It’s a scene so seemingly complete that we think for a moment the story is over. E.T. is dead--it’s the end of the movie. In ALIEN, Ripley blows up the spaceship and escapes, we think. The original TERMINATOR movie has a double False Ending.

McKee issues this caution regarding them:

“For most films, however, the False Ending is inappropriate. Instead, the Penultimate Act Climax should intensify the Major Dramatic Question: “Now what’s going to happen?”

Act Rhythm

Here, McKee points out the importance of alternating between value-charges. (For a refresher on value-charges, please see this post on the values in your theme, and this post on maintaining balance between the opposite values.)

“Repetitiousness is the enemy of rhythm. The dynamics of story depend on the alternation of its value-charges. For example, the two most powerful scenes in a story are the last two act climaxes. Onscreen they’re often only ten or fifteen minutes apart. Therefore, they cannot repeat the same charge. If the protagonist achieves his Object of Desire, making the last act’s Story Climax positive, then the Penultimate Act Climax must be negative. You cannot set up an up-ending with an up-ending. ‘Things were wonderful...then they got even better!’ Conversely, you cannot set up a down-ending with a down-ending. When emotional experience repeats, the power of the second event is cut in half. And if the power of the Story Climax is halved, the power of the film is halved.

On the other hand, a story may climax in irony, an ending that’s both positive and negative. What then must be the emotional charge of the Penultimate Climax? The answer’s found in close study of the Story Climax, for although irony is somewhat positive, somewhat negative, it should never be balanced. If it is, the positive and negative values cancel each other out and the story ends in a bland neutrality.

For example, Othello finally achieves his desire: a wife who loves him and has never betrayed him with another man--positive. However, when he discovers this, it’s too late because he’s just murdered her--an overall negative irony.”

☝This gave me a lot of thought. I tend to write for myself, and I like to have up-endings with all loose ends tidied up. Looking back at everything, I have set up up-endings with up-endings in many of my stories, and I can see now why even to me the finale feels lacklustre.

Source: McKee, Robert. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting. York: Methuen, 1998. Print

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