#and thats why mrs tucker likes him so much

[mardytoast]

ironically, clyde would be able to handle really spicy foods and enjoy it

[t0rturedangel]

Can we PLSS get more of creek x child reader ?? I loved it smm it’s literally my life support 💕😭‼️

╭ ☆ ➛ Creek x child ! reader Ꞌꞌ : The little craig

━ warnings / notes ; this is kinda rushed since i had a very limited amount time to post this, pacing is bad too <33 also ngl south park did post covid craig so dirty 😭 maybe ooc

" Honey ! " TWEEK mumbled as he called out for his husband, twitching slightly- something that has stayed with him even as he grew up. A head poked out from the kitchen and a voice spoke " Yes ? " " Uhm [ name's ] head teacher just called and- " " - and what ? " CRAIG asked, walking over- stretching and smiling when he heard the satisfying pops. The pair had been together since fourth grade, of courses with some in and out moments where they kept fighting of small petty things, breaking up then getting back together, it was a re-used cycle honestly, the last time they did repeat it was back in high school. Now the two of them are happily married with a little child they call their own.

" They want us to come to their office, [ name's ] in trouble " tweek sweat dropped, slightly concerned as to why their little angelic child got in trouble for the first time ever " Why do you think they are?- did they get into a fight??? did they- " " Baby- its okay, lets just go and we'll find out " Craig comforted his husband, ruffling tweek's hair and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek this did actually seem to calm tweek down letting him nod " Yeah- lets go "

Through out the ride Craig was making up excuses and apologies in his head- he knew exactly why you were in trouble and in hindsight he didn't want Tweek to why you were. It'd be the end of him if tweek did and while craig was mentally panicking- Tweek was physically panicking, all different scenarios running through his head- if you did get into a fight then you (and the child who fought you) would be in so much trouble he swore to god. Getting to the school didnt take long either, the pair rushed into the main office and were taken to the head master's office.

Entering, they saw you- who was giving the head master a little glare, your arms tucked together- and your headmaster who was staring at the two who came in, extremely serious " Mr and . . . Mr Tucker " They began " Please take the seat " Tweek sat down on the only spare chair next to you while craig stood behind you " What happened? " Tweek began " Your child- [ name ] had- " " - had what !? " Tweek's panic rose again only to be shushed by the headteacher, a glare was sent their way by you and craig " Your child has been- flipping children off for all of break time " .

Silence.

" [ name ] ! " the head teacher's voice raised as you flipped them off for the umpteenth time " Stop flipping me off ! " " No! Fuck you ! I only flipped them off because they insulted me! " Craig was so dead. " [ name ] stop that. " Tweek spoke calmly, causing you to shut up instantly and craig to start inwardly crying. " Thank you for letting me know- i'll talk with them " Nodding at the head, the three of you left.

When the three of you were in the car, you and your dad waited for tweek to blow up- but fortunately or unfortunately- he didnt, only staring at the two of you, " [ name ]- honey, good job on standing up for yourself, but you're not getting your iPad for a week " an ashamed frown was quickly relpaced with a sweet smile , happy you got off without getting in too much trouble where as your other dad wasnt as lucky " Craig- i'll be talking with you at home about teaching our little kid to flip people off " " Tweek- babe- I just wanted [ name ] to be like a mini me- a mini craig ! " he tried to defend himself.

" Thats not going to save you " " hahahaha ! Daddy's going to get it now ! "

[cat-autism-wizard]

five times danny's english class learned that he was phantom (and one time he had to reveal it)

3 - Mr. Lancer

it was after a big ghost attack at casper high. it was sadly during mr. lancer's lesson. he didnt know what those poor kids would do in the exams if their educations kept on getting interrupted by the ghost attacks. but right now they had bigger problems to dealt with, like running for their lives.

lancer made sure everyone in his class made it out of the class and making sure everyone was out of school. it was a procedure he had to use so much that everyone knew what to do. of course it didnt mean he doesnt follow it. he still makes sure he follows it line by line. and no matter how many ghosts attacked the school, kids were always terrified which made it harder to count them. lancer didnt blame the kids of course. he was feeling bad for them if anything else. those kids were just teenagers and they shouldnt live through this again and again.

lancer tried his best to keep the terrified ones calm and lead everyone to outside. it was the hunter ghost attacking and phantom was already fighting him. no matter what those lousy ghost hunters say lancer trusted phantom to protect them. he saw him saving his kids countless of times.

after everyone was outside he counted his students. only one was missing. daniel fenton. when he spotted one of his friends he decided to ask her.

"ms. manson, i couldnt see mr. fenton do you know where he is?" just for a tiny second lancer saw a little panic flash in the girl's eyes.

"uhh yeah he is with tucker." sam blurted out. lancer could tell she was lying. he was a teacher for almost 15 years, he could tell when a student lied to him.

"great then you wouldnt mind accompanying me see mr. foley and mr. fenton right?" sam cringed to herself probably scolding herself for her bad lie.

"sure" she said with a fake smile.

they walked towards tucker as he was dealing with his phone. no fenton to be seen.

"mr. foley have you seen mr. fenton anywhere?" lancer talked before sam ever could.

"uh yeah he was with sam." tucker said without looking up his phone. only when he heard sam cleaning her throat tucker decided to look up. sam glared at tucker.

"uh did i say sam i meant to say pam" tucker tried to play it off.

"we dont have a 'pam' in our class mr. foley." lancer sighed.

"if you kids didnt know you couldve just said so. he might still be inside im gonna check before he gets hurt." lancer said as he start to head back inside. when both sam and tucker tried to stop him or run inside before him but lancer stopped both of them.

"ms. manson, mr. foley i understand that youre worried about your friend but if you step inside now, you will be suspended for a week." did they really care? no, but they were both smart enough to know that could damage their school record and neither of them wanted that.

not getting a reaction, lancer went back inside to look for danny. he searched almost everywhere but he was nowhere. the only place he didnt check was the hall of his class which had a fight going on. lancer carefully headed to his classroom. then he heard phantom saying something about 'souping the ghost' which meant it was probably safe for him to go there and thats what he did.

he expected to see phantom, yes but what he didnt expect to see was phantom looking so worn out. he looked like he was about to pass out. as lancer was about to thank him and ask him if hes alright glowing rings appeared around phantom's waist. then he transformed into danny fenton.

what. lancer couldnt believe his eyes. he was terrified. he was terrified of the fact that wes was right. what he was more terrified was that danny fenton, a 14 (soon to be 15) year-old kid was fighting and protect them all from the ghosts while trying to pursue his education as well. lancer wasnt easy on him either since he would always be late or fall asleep in the class. now he knew why.

danny was barely staying on his feet. he was tried. before he could fall lancer caught him. a fear set in danny. as lancer realized that, he started to scold him.

"so you were here. youre so lucky that phantom was around mr. fenton. you cannot wander around the school when theres an attack. if i catch you next time like this there will be consequences." with that danny was relieved. he was stressed about the next time because there will be a next time but at least lancer didnt know his identity right?

lancer forced fenton to stay in the infirmary for a few classes. danny whined at first but he was fast asleep as he relaxed when lancer made sure he wasnt going to be called absent in the attendance.

after that day lancer tried to give danny slightly more time on his works and when in detention, he gave him somewhat of an extra class knowing he fell asleep in those lessons.

1 2 3 4 5 +1

[lucy90712]

Gender reveal (pregnancy series)

Again just like my last part of this series gender is on a spectrum and changeable but this is the common term so that is what I'm going to use but I still believe that everyone is valid no matter their gender.

Series masterlist

George:

Me and George didn't have any big plans for telling family because it really wasn't that big of a thing over in England to do gender reveals (I think this is true like I never really hear about them over here but some people do do them) so we decided just to tell them in person. Today George's parents are coming over so we are going this chance to tell them because they know that we were able to find out at our last appointment.

They arrived and brought dinner with them which was very unnecessary but also very nice of them to help us out like that. We ate dinner together just kind of casually nothing too serious because all of us are so close that we don't often do proper family dinners or whatever unless it is Christmas. After dinner George's mum helped me with washing the dishes before we sat down on the sofa together to play some games but not before me and George told them the news.

"Ok so you know that we found out the gender so we wanted to tell you" I started

"We're having a girl" George exclaimed

"Thats so exciting I can't wait to buy cute little things for her" his mum said

They were so excited to go out and buy little things for their granddaughter that she could keep as memories which put things into a whole new perspective for both me and George to the point that we both felt so unprepared because we have nothing for the baby and were already halfway through the pregnancy.

Dream:

Clay wanted to do something for his family and mine to reveal the gender so we set up a little party with just close family where we were going to tell them using a onesie clay had made with his trademark smiley face on it in pink with a white background which was actually really cute and I can't wait till she can wear it.

I have been setting up decorations out in the garden all morning it's not a whole lot but it has taken me a while because I keep getting distracted. When it was done there was balloons in blue and pink as well as bunting and table cloths and we had cupcakes with different colour icing on them just for fun. Everything actually looked pretty good with a bit of straightening up from where my brain had just thought of something else that needed doing it would be perfect.

Our families soon arrived and enjoyed the cupcakes and chatted about what they thought we were having. Once it felt like a good time Clay got the box that we wrapped the onesie in and brought it outside so we could let them open it, both of our moms opened it together while the rest of our families watched from behind them. They opened the box and pulled out the onesie looking at it for a second before it sunk in what they were holding.

"Congratulations you two" my mom said

"This onesie is so cute did you get it made?" His mom asked

"Yes I did and I got a few others but they haven't arrive yet" Clay said

"Wait I didn't know there was going to be more" I said

He is full of surprises this man but I'm not going to lie I was quite looking forwards to this one.

Sapnap:

Seeing as Sapnap's family have been so supportive of us we wanted to do something for them to announce the gender so Sapnap and I have been planning a little party for everyone where we are going to cut a cake to tell them the gender. I also thought it would be fun to have a little box for people to put guesses of what they thought we were having in and we would total it up before the reveal to see if they were right.

Everyone came over and we talked for a while with them trying to get information out if me to try and make their guesses on the gender. We took the box with all the slip of paper in and me and Sapnap counted them together.

"Thats 3 for boy and 9 for girl" I said

It was kind of funny to see the results especially knowing what the baby actually is. Sapnap gave me a look and we grabbed the knife we had prepared and I put my hand on his so we could cut the cake we had together. We cut a slice to reveal the blue sponge inside which we showed everyone and their reactions were priceless because they definitely didn't expect us to be having a boy.

"It's a boy" Sapnap exclaimed

"There is no way I was sure it was a girl" his mom said

No one believed us to start with but we managed to convince them as time went on.

Quackity:

Me and Alex had told all of our family separately in person but he still wanted to film a video that won't go out for a while but he wanted to do it for fun. He wanted us to do old wives tales to see if they were accurate. He had some ready that he wanted to do some of which seemed more scientific than others but we did them all anyway.

We started with the ring test where we took one of my rings I wear all the time and used a strand of my hair to hover it over my bump. It swung in a straight line which indicated girl which we marked down on a white board. Next we did the mirror test and I looked into the mirror for a minute to see if my pupils dilated which they didn't which also indicated girl.

The next one we did was kind of gross and involved baking soda which we had to put into a cup of my pee and see if it fizzed which it did which indicated boy. The last one we did was the heartbeat test which said that if the heartbeat was over 140 it is a girl which our baby's was.

I was quite surprised that they were mostly right but of course the fans didn't know that so we had to do a final reveal where we told them that it was a girl. I'm quite excited for the video to go out after we tell fans about the pregnancy because it was actually quite fun to film.

Karl:

We didn't really have anything planned but the mr beast crew set up a little party for us where we could tell them the gender because they are so desperate to know. To actually reveal it we decided to get a balloon with blue confetti inside it despite knowing when it popped it would scare me it was going to be fun for everyone else.

They had set everything up pretty extravagantly because that’s how they do things, there was so many decorations and way too much food for anyone to eat. We had a nice time though eating way too much food and Chris gave us a bunch of advice for when baby arrives.

Eventually we got up and brought in the balloon and got ready to pop it with a knife, Karl held the knife while I held the string of the balloon. He gave me a warning before he popped it still made me flinch and I felt the baby jump inside me but when I opened my eyes after just a split second and there was confetti everywhere.

"We're having a boy" Karl practically squealed

"Yay Tucker can have a little friend" Chris said

Wilbur:

Me and Wilbur have told all of our family the gender of the baby but no friends know so he invited some to our place to hang out and so we can tell them the gender. We have spent most of the morning cleaning the place and sort of setting up like cooking and baking but now everything is pretty much ready as people are arriving.

Phil arrived first and brought us some baby clothes which was very sweet of him, all of the others arrived not long after and we all sat down to talk and tell when what we are having. Wilbur had ordered some onesies for the baby which were pink which we were going to show the group. Wilbur left the room for a minute at some point and came back with the onesie in his hands but behind his back.

"I got this the other day and its just to cute" he said holding it up

"Wait does that mean your having a girl?" Tubbo asked

"Yeah we are" I said

They were all very excited and can't wait to meet her but for now they can look at the bump which I did let them feel which I don't let most people do but Tommy especially was so excited I thought why not.

[sapphicsaro]

For the SVU asks thing: 10, 13, 15, and 17! :) absolutely love your blog btw!

hey! thanks sm — i really appreciate it <3

10.) best olivia hair season

listen i am BISEXUAL, mariska has always looked incredible regardless of the hairstyle — HOWEVER, i do happen to love her with longer hair.

i would say my top styles are: season 1 bob, season 8 BANGSSSSSS, current season (23) waves, and that straight middle part shoulder length from season 17

13. least fave character past/present

oof, well all the perps are disgusting (thats a given). so it depends, i HATE that one DA bucanon? or however tf his name is spelled, but you’re supposed to hate him…so? not sure if that works?

if its least faves that we were supposed to like, number one is kim greyleck. i was/am a huge casey novak stan so seeing her right after already made me biased but she was horrible with the victims. could not stand her.

as for current? the new guy. something with a v? he replaced kat which was a blow to me as a queer :/ i don’t find him likable at all and i’m kind of upset the show replaced a queer woman of color with him. idk! just me tho??

15. which character dresses the best?

i better not get shit on for this but—

every. single. outfit. that angela wheatley wore, i would rock in a HEARTBEAT. mama came in, blew up kathy, then brought it to the runway.

also liv’s coats??? idk if y’all can tell from the breakdowns but i’m so into the trench coats and blazers. 10/10.

17. all time favorite episode

with a show that has 500 episodes, there’s no way i’d be able to choose just one!

some faves (& why):

slaves (S1) - the psych evals. the minute i fell in love with each character…oof. from cragen’s break, to olivia’s breakdown, to munch’s callout, then monique and elliot?? so good. and this is when i really realized how much me and olivia are alike! so yep, a top contender for sure!!

night (S6) - again, love casey novak and when she got hurt we got to see a vulnerable side of a character who was pretty reassured and tough. plus mrs. potts, doc oc, AND rocket raccoon?? amazing

raw (S7) - this was just a really good plot twisty episode and shocked me the first time i saw it with it’s ending. tough to stomach as a jewish person, though.

blast (S7) - AS A MELINDA WARNER STAN, i have nothing more to say. what a queen 💅🏼

(can i say all of season 9????)

zebras (S10) - yes, for bensler, but also for gwen 🥺 i love carol kane so much ugh

perverted (S11) - all the bensler vibes but also a damn good episode.

(here’s where i confess that i’m catching up on svu i’ve missed and my knowledge of episodes is a little weak when it comes to seasons (11-21). i’ve just finished 16, 17, 18, so i’m catching up!! but apologies if ive missed a good episode!!)

“benson in trouble” (multiple seasons) - idk if i can call them favorites because that sounds wrong(?), but as a survivor i really find it cathartic to watch the episodes where olivia is in trouble (the william lewis arc, the townhouse incident, etc.). my therapist says it’s because i feel a sense of control and know what what’s about to happen, know that she will survive it and bc i see myself like her, i feel a sense of relief. tmi? ahhh

unholiest reunion (S17) - just a thrilling episode!!

heartfelt passages (S17) - dodds…. and tucker/liv!

gone baby gone (S19) - cmon, so good. but also i just love any and all scenes ever that we get of olivia being a mom

part 33 (S20) - very interesting introspect on the behind the scenes of the detectives. i really enjoyed this debate and honestly was captivated by their reactions.

the return of the prodigal son (S22) - i mean… i don’t need to explain this one.

(ALL of organized crime. no joke, i think i like it more than the current episodes of svu. i much prefer how they are writing their characters!!)

[texas-hates-taxes-too]

Chris about your thoughts on wash. (MR/canon, both, whichever, I know u wanna talk about MR more lol)

Hmm I'll do canon, but maybe I'll do MR!Wash later too 😁

Why I like them: he is just So Much. Idk how to describe it, he just has everything, his entire story, from being the naive rookie, to the jaded recovery agent, then being made into blue leader and becoming a real part of the team more and more over the seasons, I just loved it all.

Why I dont: hmm well i always felt like he kinda pressured Church into sacrificing himself in S6, and its unclear if Church fully understood what he was agreeing to. Thats the only thing though

Favourite episode: how am I supposed to choose 😭😭 im gonna say "Long Live The King", the episode in season 11 when tucker and wash argue and Caboose accidentally becomes the leader

Favourite season: its a tie between season 11 and season 6

Favourite line: oh god thats hard. All of them. "You don't have to destroy the past to have a future" is pretty nice, I also liked his speech to caboose and tucker in s11, and his speech to the chairman in s7. But honestly. Every single quote he has is good

Favourite outfit: I have Feelings about his light blue armour. Fanon wise, the classic grey shirt or hoodie with yellow lines is always good 😂

OTP: Tuckington 🥰 but also I want to mention, Docington is like my go-to comfort ship

BroTP: Wash's dynamic with literally everyone is amazing, but I always have a soft spot for his relationship with Lina. And also Caboose.

Headcanon: this is maybe cliche but Wash had a crush on literally everyone in pfl, even Tex

Unpopular opinion: uhhh idk. I dont think everyone believes this but ive seen people say Wash likes authority (based on what he said to connie in pfl) but I disagree with this, I think he's generally pretty anti-authority but just felt indebted to the director, which was why he defended him

A Wish: for him to never ever leave the reds and blues to go join some random military =_=. I want him to retire and adopt 8 cats and accidentally become a domestic couple with Tucker.

An oh-god-pls-dont-ever-happen: for him to leave the reds and blues to go join some random military 🙃

5 words to describe them: melodramatic dumbass buzzkill caring lovable

My nickname for them: agent washing machine

[angryhausfrau-writes]

Your Friends Were All Standing Around Looking At Your Cock The Other Dayee...

Interior of the farm house. WAYNE, KATY, and SQUIRRELLY DAN stand around the table, looking at something.

KATY: It's a beautiful cock.

WAYNE: Oh, it's a gorgeous cock.

DAN, shifting from foot to foot, uncomfortably: Now I'ms nots denyings that it's a mightys fines cocks. I just thinks its mights not bes appropriates to have sets outs on the supper tables is all.

KATY: Oh Dan, there's been far worse things than a cock on this table.

WAYNE growls: Better not have been them hockey nutsacks.

KATY: I'm a big girl, Wayne. None of your business what nutsacks I'm spending time with.

WAYNE, begrudgingly: True.

DAN: You knows whats you're afters, miss Katys, and that's what I appreciates about you.

KATY, flirtatiously: Oh, is that what you appreciate about me?

WAYNE: Take about ten, twenty percent off her over there Squirrelly Dan.

DAN, looking at the table: Oh hey look. A cock. What is sets most unhygenicallys on the table we eats off ofs.

KATY: Jesus Dan. Hop off our cocks.

WAYNE: Besides, you're a bigger degen than Dary if you eat directly off the table.

DAN: Where is Darys anyways? Ain't like him to miss such a magnificents cocks.

DARY enters the KITCHEN: Sorry I'm late. Spent all morning wrangling my cock into its cage.

DAN, sympathetically: Its was giving yous some troubles thens?

DARY: Kept making itself all big and plumped up. Couldn't get it to fit in the cage. Ended up having to really wrassle with it for a good long while.

KATY: Could say you had to take your cock firmly in hand there, Dary?

WAYNE: Pert near had to choke that chicken, I'd imagine.

DARY: Pert near.

DAN: But yous gots it settled downs and ins its cage?

DARY nods and hefts a rooster in a wire cage into frame: Yup. Tuckered it out eventually. Now it's placid as anything.

WAYNE: Now that's a handsome cock, Dary. A right handsome cock.

DARY, bashful: Aw, it ain't nothing special. Not like yours, Wayne.

WAYNE SHIFTS OUT OF THE WAY. PAN TO ROOSTER ON THE TABLE.

DARY:  Now that's a real handsome cock, and well behaved to boot.

WAYNE: Ok, Dary. Dary, ok. Ok, Dary. Dary, ok. Youwannaknowwhat? Here's the scoop and I'm gonna tell ya. I look at your cock and I think, well, I think: good for you buddy. Just like, good for you bud. Like I'm real proud of ya, Dary.

DAN: It's a mightys fines cocks, Dary. Yous gots every rights to be prouds.

KATY: Nothing wrong with a spirited cock, anyways.

DARY, bashful: Still reckon yours'll be the cock to beat down the Ag Festival, Wayne.

WAYNE: Oh it's a handsome cock all right.

KATY: A beautiful cock.

WAYNE: Oh it's a gorgeous cock.

DARY: Not to be pulling your own horn over there.

DAN: Oh yous shoulds nevers do thats. Leastwise nots ins mixed companies.

KATY: Says you.

WAYNE, abrupt: No hard feelings Dary. Regardless of who beats whose cock.

DARY: No hard feelings.

WAYNE holds his hand straight out for DARY to shake: Then may the man with the best cock win.

LETTERKENNY TITLE BUT THERE IS A ROOSTER INSTEAD OF A DOG.

ESTABLISHING SHOTS OF A FAIRGROUD.

EXTERIOR SHOT OF THE AG BUILDING.

INTERIOR SHOT OF THE AG BUILDING. WAYNE, KATY, DARY, and SQUIRRELLY DAN are standing around a table with ROOSTERS in cages on it. The DYCKS and the HOCKEY PLAYERS are also there, standing further down the room.

GLEN enters with a clipboard, officiators badge: Wayne! How're you now?

WAYNE: Good'nyou?

GLEN: Oh, I'm just dripping with excitement to be judging all y'alls cocks. Especially yours Wayne.

WAYNE squints into the distance.

DAN: You're judgings the competitions?

GLEN: Indeed I am, Daniel. Although admittedly I misunderstood the nature of the event when I first volunteered to judge. But! I have plenty of experience judging cocks from my years on the family poultry farm. The cocks I raised as a youth...

WAYNE: Pitter patter.

GLEN: Well, fine. If you don't appreciate hearing about my cock judging credentials.

DARY, snickering: Pretty sure pert near everyone in town knows 'bout those.

GLEN: True but uncalled for, Daryl!

NOAH DYCK, joining the hicks: I for one think it is admirable that Preacher Glen has experience handling and judging cocks. And from his boyhood, once.

WAYNE: Noah.

NOAH: Wayne.

DARY: Mr. Dyck.

NOAH: Daryl.

DAN: Noahs Dycks.

NOAH: Daniel. A pity Lovina Dyck could not make it to the cock judging. I'm certain she would have had she known you were showing your cock. For is it not true, mine wife, that the love tree often bears fruit when a young man parades his cock before his sweetheart, once?

ANITA approaches: What nonsense are you speaking now, Noah?

NOAH: Simply that a Dyck chooses a lifemate in part by how well she-

KATY: Or he.

DAN: Ors theys.

NOAH: -raises a cock. Did not you impress me with your cock raising skills when first we were courting?

ANITA, blushing: You say too much, husband.

NOAH: And did not you help raise this cock which I am showing proudly this day, once? Why without mine Anita Dyck's loving and tender hand, this cock would be but small and limp and lifeless.

ANITA: Us Snatches have always had a way with cocks, as well you know.

NOAH: A good thing too. Us Dycks require a skilled hand with raising our cocks. Lovina will be delighted to know you've raised such a magnificent cock as are being shown here this day. Perhaps I shall send one of my young sons to go fetch her, once. So that she might see your cock.

DAN, hurriedly: Oh nos, I'm nots showings anybodys anythings. That's all Waynes and Darys.

GLEN: Daryl! I didn't realize you were showing your cock today too. Oh, this is so exciting! Me, in the middle of a Daryl/Wayne cock sandwich.

WAYNE growls.

GLEN: Although I don't know how I'm supposed to choose between the two of your cocks. I think it will take some lengthy deliberation.

KATY: This is already taking fucking forever, I'm going to go sit down.

DAN: I'll join yous, miss Katys.

KATY as they leave: Still not over Lovina Dyck, eh?

DAN: I don'ts knows that I'll evers stop thinkings abouts Lovinas Dycks, miss Katys. Ands that's a facts.

KATY and SQUIRRELLY DAN exit.

DARY (aside): Katy's right. This is taking fucking forever.

WAYNE to GLEN: I say again. Pitter. Patter.

GLEN whines.

WAYNE: If a man should be one thing, he should be efficient.

GLEN: Fine. Everyone here? Then lets get y'all registered. What's your cocks' names? I'm sure you've come up with some good ones.

WAYNE: Plenty of good names for cocks.

DARY: Oh, you can have a lot of fun naming cocks.

WAYNE: I'm surprised we're not naming cocks right now.

DARY: Could name one after the fictional prizefighter Cocky Balboa.

WAYNE: Or the legendary real life comedian Chris Cock.

DARY: There's always actor and former wrassler Dwayne the Cock Johnson.

GLEN: Ooh, that's a two-for-one special right there.

WAYNE: Or jazz musician John Cocktrain.

DARY: I like that one.

WAYNE: Not too obscure?

DARY: Nah, it's a gooder. Cultured - but not trying too hard.

GLEN: All right, all right. So what are your cocks' names?

DARY: Cock.

GLEN: Come again? And please note, I'm saying that in a completely different context to the one I usually use.

DARY: My cock's called cock. I din't name the damn thing. I know what it looks like.

WAYNE: Well I should hope so.

DARY: And I only got the one. Not liable to mix it up with someone else's cock.

GLEN: Ok. Fine, Dary. Ruin all my fun. TURNS TO WAYNE. What about you, Wayne? What's the big fella called?

WAYNE: Only nutsacks name their cocks.

RILEY breaking into the group around GLEN: We're all saying our cock's names, boys?

JONESY: Just naming silly cock over here, boys?

RILEY: Just christening silly amounts of cock over here, boys?

WAYNE: Again, only nutsacks name their cocks.

GLEN: Yes, boys. Everyone who's entering the cock judging needs to tell me their cock's name so I can make sure to call out the right name during the handling. It's just so embarrassing to call the cock in your hands by the wrong name...

RILEY: We've got a cock to register for judging, boys.

JONESY: Well, really it's Riley's cock we're entering. And it's a real beauty, buddy.

RILEY: Hey, buddy. It's as much your cock as mine. It is a real beauty though buddy.

JONESY: Just a real beauty of a cock here, boys.

RILEY: Half clapper top cheddar.

JONESY: Guaranteed W. Ferda!

RILEY: Ferda!

GLEN: Now boys, we're talking about roosters here, not actual cocks. Don't feel bad - I too was confused at first. So, while I'm sure Riley's cock is just delightful...

JONESY: It is. He's a registered beautician, buddy.

RILEY: Thanks buddy.

GLEN: Yes. But I just want to stress again – this is the animal we're talking about here.

RILEY: Yeah, boys. Cocks.

JONESY holds up a rooster in a cage: And this is our cock:

RILEY: Four time Stanley Cup winner.

JONESY: Four time Vezina Trophy winner.

RILEY: Hockey hall-of-famer.

JONESY: Goaltender extraordinaire.

RILEY: Terry Sawcock. Ferda!

JONESY: Ferda!

DARY (aside): Kinda surprised they have a whole cock between 'em.

WAYNE: Ain't surprised they share it though, fuck.

DARY: Same way they share a set of testicles. And maybe a tongue.

GLEN: Ooh, don't tempt me Daryl.

WAYNE (turns to RILEY and JONESY): Now where in the hell did yous two nutsacks get a cock from anyways? You better not've stolen it right out from under some poor unsuspecting farmer's nose.

RILEY: We bought it down at the feed store boys.

JONESY: Heard about people keeping chickens as pets boys.

RILEY: How they're so cute and cuddly. Plus free eggs boys.

JONESY: Need plenty of protein to keep up with the gains boys.

RILEY and JONESY flex. GLEN watches avidly. WAYNE is unimpressed.

RILEY: Accidentally bought a rooster though buddy.

JONESY (sadly): Can't get eggs from a rooster buddy.

RILEY: Still a good pet though buddy.

JONESY: Yeah, just really loves to cuddle with us buddy.

RILEY: Yeah, just really loves to cuddle with us on the sofa buddy.

WAYNE: Shouldn't keep farm animals as pets. Fuck.

DARY: Farm animals belong on a farm. S'why they're called farm animals.

WAYNE: Like. You wouldn't let a sow into you're living room. And you wouldn't let a cow into your living room. So why the fuck are you cuddling up on the couch with a cock?

JONESY: Shouldn't knock it till you've tried it.

DARY: I'll knock you.

GLEN: Boys please. Lets not fight. Not when we're all gathered here today for such a noble purpose as comparing cocks.

ALL: Fine.

GLEN: All righty now, let's see. We've got Daryl's cock: cock. We've got Wayne's cock: only nutsacks name their cocks. Riley and Jonesy's collective cock: Terry Sawcock. What do you call your cock, Noah?

NOAH: While there are a great quantity of cocks at the Dyck farm, this is our most quality.

WAYNE: Quality Dyck if you will.

GLEN: Quality Dyck it is.

DARY: Sure 'nough.

WAYNE: Like you see that cock and you say, that's Quality Dyck all right. And no mistake.

GLEN: Mhm! And I know from Quality Dyck. Now, if that's everyone, we can get on with the judging...

MCMURRY barges in: Wait! (Approaching WAYNE) Wayne. How're'you'now? Good'n'you. Ohnotsobad. Okay! (Turns to the GROUP) I, McMurry, am entering my cock in this little competition. So all you sumbitches can make a hole.

GLEN: Well someone's all riled up! You can go ahead and enter your cock right here, McMurry. No need to shout.

DARY (angry): Yeah, no need to bust our balls.

WAYNE (placating): Go have a dart.

DARY (begrudgingly): Yeah, I'll have a dart.

WAYNE and DARY exit.

FADE TO BLACK.

ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE AGRICULTURAL FESTIVAL.

ZOOM ON TWO COCK SHAKUR PLAYING FOR A CROWD IN FRONT OF THE AG BUILDING.

PAN OVER KATY AND DAN IN THE AUDIENCE.

ZOOM ON GLEN AS HE ENTERS THE STAGE AT THE FRONT OF THE CROWD.

GLEN: How'reyounow?

AUDIENCE: Good'n'you?

GAIL: All this cock talk's got me wetter than a lighthouse keeper's slicker in a Noreaster, I can tell you that much.

DAN: Gailer!

KATY: First Glen is here judging and now Gail's here.

GAIL approaches KATY and DAN.

DAN: Yeah, Gail. I didn'ts know you were so interesteds in the agriculturals.

GAIL: Less interested in the agriculturals than in seeing some. Good. Hand. Raised. Cock. Specially when I heard Wayne's entered in the cock judging.

DAN to KATY: She knows it's nots actual cocks, rights?

KATY to GAIL: More importantly, is Modean's actually closed?

DAN: Tells me it didn't burns down agains.

KATY: This town needs a fucking bar.

GAIL: Nah, Modean's 3 is still alive and kicking sure as this old goat. But when Glen told me he'd be judging cocks at the agricultural festival I figured the whole fucking town'd be here rather than down Modean's.

DAN: Nots a bad turnsout for Letterkenny's first evers ag festival.

KATY: A great fucking turnout.

GAIL: Plus, I get a chance to see Wayne's cock today – and that's worth a day's profits right there.

KATY: Gross.

GAIL: Not that I've actually lost a day's profits. Bonny's been making the rounds at the Ag festival and apparently, business. Is. Banging.

CUT TO BONNY WEAVING HER WAY THROUGH THE CROWD WITH A TRAY OF SHOT GLASSES AND BEER BOTTLES.

KATY and DAN whistfully, along with CROWD: Bonny McMurry?

GLEN (impatient): Can I have your attention please!

PAN BACK TO GLEN.

GLEN: The event we've all been waiting for – I know I have – the cock judging. Lets meet our contestants!

GLEN gestures to the stage like a game show host: First up is Wayne!

AUDIENCE applauds.

WAYNE enters with his rooster and stands stoically, hands in belt loops.

GLEN examining the rooster: An impressive cock. Sturdy. Well built. And a real big fella. Nearly eight pounds, and pure muscle. Wayne, I think you've got a real champion cock here.

WAYNE nods stoically.

GAIL: And that's not the only cock of his I hear is impressive.

GLEN: Oooh, tell me more.

WAYNE: Glen.

GAIL: That rooster's not the only cock almost eight somethings.

MCMURRY (from backstage): Wait, is that measured over or under the balls.

GAIL: And plenty of stamina to make it through those cold Canadian winter nights. If. You. Know. What. I. Mean.

GLEN: No, please continue in explicit detail.

WAYNE: Glen!

GLEN: Ok, fine. (Gestures WAYNE to move to the rear of the stage.) Moving along, next up is Dary!

AUDIENCE applauds.

GLEN examining the rooster: Oh, you've got a feisty one here, Dary. Plenty of personality! A little smaller than Wayne's but still an excellent cock. And those freckles are just too cute!

DARY: Aw, thanks Glen.

GLEN: And I'd happily take a look at your other cock if you want, Daryl.

DARY: Thanks for the offer Glen, but like I said, I only got the one.

GLEN: Oh never mind.

GLEN waves DARY off the stage.

DARY moves to stand next to WAYNE.

GLEN: Here's our next contestant, Noah Dyck!

AUDIENCE applauds.

GLEN: Now this is something special, y'all. An excellent example of a Canadian heritage breed, known for being an excellent layer and quite robust as well. Yes, I think we can all agree that this is certainly Quality Dyck right here.

NOAH: Thank you Preacher Glen. Such comments mean much coming from such an experienced judge of cocks as yourself.

GLEN: Oh, Noah. You'll make me blush. (GLEN rapidly ushers NOAH to stand next to DARY and WAYNE)  Anywho, our next contestant is Riley and Jonesy!

AUDIENCE applauds with some confusion.

DAN: What, both of thems? Collectivelys?

KATY: It makes sense. They do everything else together.

DAN: Everythings?

GAIL: Ev. Ry. Thing.

DAN: Katy?

KATY: Can confirm.

DAN: Wow. Didn'ts needs to knows thats.

KATY: You did ask.

GAIL: It's not like we gave you a blow. By. Blow account. But if you really want to know...

GLEN: This cock's a little smaller than the ones we've seen previously. Not as much muscle – might want to exercise it a little more, boys. Just really put it through it's paces.

SHORESY: Yeah! Give your balls a tug titfuckers!

RILEY: Fuck you, Shoresy! Where's your cock, if you think you're so good!

SHORESY: Fuck you Riley! If you want to know about my cock, just ask your mom. She saw plenty of it last night. Rode me so hard reverse cowgirl style I thought she was going to snap it off.

JONESY: Fuck you Shoresy!

SHORESY: Don't worry, Jonesy. Your mom was there to kiss it all better.

RILEY and JONESY: Fuck you Shoresy!

GLEN: Well! All audience commentary aside, I think you've got a very shapely cock, Riley. And I think if you put in the time, worked hard and raised it properly, you could have a real champion cock on your hands.

RILEY: Thanks, boys!

JONESY: Yeah, thanks boys!

GLEN: You're welcome. Now go sit down so we can get to our next contestant!

RILEY and JONESY fistbump and move to join the others.

McMURRY pushes forward through the other contestants: Yes, I McMurry am here to have my cock judged in front of all of you. And I'm gonna win this cocksucking cock competition, just you watch.

MRS McMURRY: Knock 'em dead, baby. Love you.

McMURRY: Love you too baby.

GLEN (awkward): Well, this cock's a little on the small side...

KATY: And that's a little bit of an understatement.

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #1: It's fucking tiny, McMurry. I've got a bigger cock hatched out an egg yesterday.

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #2: How'd you get a woman like Mrs. McMurry with a tiny cock like that?

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #1: You're a piece of shit, McMurry.

MRS McMURRY: Don't listen to him. Your cock's perfect, baby.

GLEN: Yes, well. They say it's not size that counts, but in this case – and a few others – that's just not true. Sorry, McMurry. You're out of the competition.

McMURRY: Goldangit all! (Exits STAGE mumbling profanities)

MRS McMURRY rushes after him.

GLEN: Now on to our last competitor! Modean Three's own Bonny McMurry!

AUDIENCE applauds.

DAN: I's hads no ideas she raised cocks.

KATY: I seem to remember her raising your cock pretty frequently there Dan.

DAN: I seems to remembers yous were plentys affected as well, Miss Katy.

KATY: What can I say? I like a woman with a championship cock.

GLEN: And what an excellent cock it is! A little on the slender side, but shapely! And what a lovely temperament. Outgoing without being pushy! Oh, it's just gorgeous!

WAYNE (aside to Dary): Now that's a lovely cock.

DARY: It's a beautiful cock for sure.

WAYNE: Oh it's a gorgeous cock.

GLEN: I think we have a winner folks! Let's hear it for Bonny McMurry's excellent cock!

FADE OUT TO AUDIENCE APPLAUSE AS BONNY McMURRY ACCEPTS A TROPHY.

SHOT OPENS ON THE PRODUCE STAND. WAYNE, DAN, AND DARY ARE SITTING IN THEIR USUAL SEATS WITH THEIR USUAL PUPPERS. KATYS CHAIR IS TAKEN BY WAYNE AND DARY'S ROOSTERS.

DAN: Recon Miss Katies is going to wants her seats back anytimes soons?

WAYNE: I imagine she's occupied for the evening.

DARY: Can't really blame her. I mean, who knew Bonny McMurry had such a championship cock?WAYNE: Hell, anybody'd want to go celebrate down MoDean's after a win like that. She's more than earned it, showing up all our cocks like that.

DARY: Still, there's no shame in coming second, good buddy.

DAN: Especiallys nots against such stiffs competitions.

WAYNE: I reckon you're right there, Dary. Andyouwannaknowwhat? Ain't no shame in coming third neither.

DAN: Especiallys nots against such stiffs competitions.

WAYNE stands and holds his hand out for DARY to shake: Congratulations Dary. That's a mighty fine cock you've got there.

DARY stands and shakes WAYNE's hand: Not as nice as yours, Wayne. Congratulations on the cock.

WAYNE and DARY sit.

WAYNE looks at where the roosters are sitting next to each other: Well, I'll give those hockey nutsacks this. They are cuddly little fuckers, aren't they?

DARY hawks a loogie in agreement.

WAYNE: Still not letting 'em in the fucking house though.

WAYNE, DARY, and DAN take a drink of PUPPERS.

CREDITS ROLL.

[topsytervy]

Wisdom Teeth ~ JJ Maybank

Blurb: JJ takes care of you after you get your wisdom teeth out. Not gonna lie, this post is kind of a mess

Word Count: 1,890

Warnings: mentions of blood, swearing, small mention of alcohol/drinking, I think that’s it.

I’m just going to say that this is based off of my wisdom teeth experience. I didn’t get gassed or put under, my moms friend suggested me holding alcohol in my mouth cause she did that when she got hers out and it worked for her (it worked for me enough to let me sleep like the dead, and my mom kept laughing at me.

I aged JJ and the reader to 19 cause why not.

I also lowkey started thinking of JJ taking care of his kids after their wisdom teeth get pulled and thats shows in the ending. 

anyway, small shoutout to @taylathornton who got me thinking about this after she said something about JJ or Rafe taking care of the reader when they get their wisdom teeth out.

~~~~

You walked out into the waiting room, gauze on either side of your mouth, your boyfriend standing by the counter as someone gave him the same rundown they gave you post-extraction. 

JJ smiled as he saw you, not that you could see with the mask over the bottom half of his face, and pulled you into his side.

"Just remember that if you still feel pain while taking the prescription he gave you today, call back and he'll prescribe you something stronger." the lady said. 

You nodded as you shoved the sheet filled with the instructions, prescriptions, and the extra gauze they gave you into JJ's hands. JJ said a quick thank you to the lady and then directed you to the door, every penny being covered by your insurance.

Thank God.

"How do you feel, princess?" He asked, intertwining your fingers together.

"You didn't tell me the extraction was such a violent process." You told him.

Well, attempted to tell him but the gauze in your mouth wasn't helping. The mask definitely added to muffling your voice.

JJ chuckled. "What?" He asked, unlocking the truck.

"You didn't tell me the extraction was such a violent process." You said slower, louder, and slightly more enunciated. 

JJ helped you into the truck. "Didn't want to scare you, Y/N/N."

"I can do it myself. I wasn’t gassed or anything. Just numbed." You swatted his hand away as he went to buckle you in.

He held up his hands. "Alright. I'm sorry." 

"Besides the lady said that I was surprisingly calm during the process." You informed him as you took off your mask.

"That's good." He closed the door and walked over to the driver’s side, climbing in as he also took off his mask. "Since you were so good during the process, how about you remind me in a week to take you to Dairy Queen and we'll get you some ice cream." He suggested, leaning over the center console and brushing some hair out of your face.

"Can I get chicken tenders too?" You asked, looking at your blonde boyfriend with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster.

JJ let out a laugh as he started the truck and began to pull out of the parking lot. "Yeah. You can get chicken tenders too, princess."

You smiled, reaching into your mouth to readjust the blood-soaked gauze only to have JJ swat your hand away. "Don't."

"But I feel like I’m swallowing the gauze every time I go to swallow my saliva." You whined.

JJ sighed. "That’s because the roof of your mouth is swollen so it makes it difficult to swallow the saliva. Just leave the gauze where it is."

You shot JJ a look before bringing your hand to your mouth again. JJ reached over and grabbed your wrist his eyes never leaving the road.

"Y/N." He warned.

"JJ." You imitated.

"I said don't touch it." 

You took your wrist away from him and crossed your arms, looking out the window. 

"Keep that up and you won’t get dairy queen next week. I'll get myself dairy queen and you can keep eating soup and mashed potatoes." 

"You're so mean to me sometimes, J." You whispered.

"Only cause I love you and care about you, baby." He smiled, his hand going to your thigh and giving it a light squeeze. 

You uncrossed your arms and took his hand in yours. "You're so sweet."

JJ shook his head. "Flip-floppy today, huh. 3 seconds ago I was mean and now I'm sweet."

You shrugged. "You're a flip-floppy guy. You threw me off the dock once when it was chilly outside and then gave me clothes to change into not even three minutes later."

"That's called being a gentleman." He smirked. 

"No. It's called being an asshole with a heart." 

JJ snorted as he pulled into the pharmacy parking lot, pulling into a parking space before throwing the truck in park and grabbed his wallet along with your prescriptions.

"Stay here. I’ll be back." He kissed your temple before putting his mask back on, adjusting it so it was over his nose.

You shot him a thumbs-up as you pulled out your phone, taking the time to reply to Kie and Sarah who wanted to check in on you. They both offered to come over and take care of you but you told them you were fine cause you had JJ with you.

Kie immediately replied with a 'that's why we're offering.'

You let out a small giggle before sending them an 'I'm sure JJ can handle it' before locking your phone and pulling down the sun visor to look in the mirror. 

You opened your mouth and made a face as you looked at the inside of your mouth and saw the dried blood on your lips.

JJ opened the door and slid back into the driver’s seat, placing the bag with the two pill bottles in your lap. "You know, technically you’re supposed to keep pressure on the gauze for an hour so it clot and shit."

"You didn't tell me the inside of my mouth looks like it’s having its own little period. I smiled at you with my mouth looking like I took a baseball or something to the teeth." You scolded.

"Princess, and I mean this with all the love in my heart, you look like a hockey player who took a puck to the teeth." JJ laughed as he put the car in drive and made his way to the grocery store.

"JJ," you whined, not finding his comparison cute in the slightest.

"What? It's more accurate than the baseball comparison you said." 

"Stop laughing at me, J. It's not funny." 

"I'm sorry. You're just so whiney right now and it's adorable to me. Makes me want to bundle you up and hold you in my arms and protect you from all the evil in the world." JJ glanced at you. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked out the window. “Y/N, don’t be like this now.”

“You’re being mean to me.” 

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are. I’m over here bleeding, preparing for the numbness to wear off and the pain to set in and you’re laughing at me.”

JJ grabbed your hand and pressed it to his lips. “I’m sorry, baby. Can you accept me buying you soup as my way of asking for your forgiveness?”

He stopped at a stop sign and looked over at you, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

You sighed. "I suppose."

He grinned as he squeezed your hand lightly. “See, you can’t stay mad at me forever, Y/N/N.”

You rolled your eyes before leaning your head against the headrest. “It’s because I need you to take care of me while I’m healing.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm. As much as I love Kie and Sarah, I don’t think their cuddles can compare to yours.”

JJ nodded. “Fair enough. That’s all you need me for? Cuddles?” 

You shrugged. “We’ll see.”

****

Within two hours, you were tearing up as the numbness wore off, the pain coming in at full force. You laid on the couch in the living room of the apartment you and JJ shared, a blanket thrown over your body.

JJ walked over with a glass of water and the pills you were prescribed. “Alright, here’s your amoxicillin, and here’s your ibuprofen.” He handed you the pills as you sat up.

You popped the two pills into your mouth, taking the glass of water from your boyfriend’s hand before taking a sip and swallowing the pills. JJ took the glass from you and set it on the end table as you sniffed.

“You know what might help?” JJ asked, walking over to one of the cabinets and opening it. 

“What?”

“I know you’re not a big drinker, Y/N, but I remember Mr. Heyward telling me when I got my wisdom teeth out that, if you take vodka, whiskey, tequila, whatever, and kind of hold it in your mouth, tilting your head left and right, it’ll help with the pain. It almost renumbs it and because it’s alcohol, it also helps fight infections.” JJ explained, grabbing the bottle of vodka he had stashed away.

He grabbed a shot glass and filled it up before bringing it over to you. 

“JJ, baby, I don’t think I should be having alcohol after taking a 600 mg ibuprofen and a 500 mg amoxicillin. Besides, I’m pretty sure that’s what the amoxicillin is for anyway.” 

JJ sighed. “I know, princess, but I’m trying to help you out here. It hurts me to see you hurting.”

“And just two hours ago you were saying it was cute when I’m all whiney.” You joked.

“You are cute when you’re whiney and not in pain. Now you’re just in pain and I don’t like it.” 

You looked at JJ with a frown. “How about we just cuddle for the rest of the day? Maybe take a nap because I’m all tuckered out.” 

JJ smiled lightly, downing the shot of vodka before heading over to you and picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as your arms snaked around his neck, him holding you up by your thighs. He carried you into your bedroom, taking one of his hands and pulling back the blankets before gently setting you down and tucking you in. 

He climbed in on his side, gently pulling you into his side, putting a pillow on top of his upper arm so you weren’t resting on his arm, knowing that it wouldn’t help the pain at all.

“Comfortable, princess?” He asked.

You hummed in response, your arm draping across his stomach. 

He kissed the top of your head, brushing your hair away from your face. 

“I’m sorry in advance if I drool on you. I’m even more sorry if it’s bloody drool.” You muttered.

“It’s alright. You can drool on me whenever you want, bloody or not.”

You smiled. “And Kie and Sarah were worried about you taking care of me.”

JJ scoffed. “I always take care of you so Kie and Sarah can shove a sock in it.”

You giggled. “It’s okay, baby. I defended you and your ability to take care of me.”

“I would hope so. After all, I’m buying you Dairy Queen next week. I don’t buy Dairy Queen for anybody, you know.”

“I know.” You sighed.

It was quiet for a few minutes and you were almost asleep before JJ spoke again.

“You gotta eat your soup and mashed potatoes though or else you don’t get chicken tenders next week.”

You let out a laugh. “Oh my god, JJ. You sound like my dad when I had to go get shots.”

“That just means I’m prepared for when we have kids. The whole bribery part of parenting, in the bag.” JJ stated with a nod.

You nodded. “Alright, baby. I can’t wait to tell our kids how you knew you were ready to be a father because you told me a week after my wisdom teeth were removed, you were going to buy me chicken tenders and ice cream.”

JJ smiled. “And I can’t wait to be saying the same thing to them when they get their wisdom teeth out.”

~~~~~~

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[survivingnightbyday]

my list for various characters and how I characterize them

....I'll fill this in eventually.

... you actually wanted to keep reading? Woosh. <3 thank you

First's first; danny phantom characters.

Danny: A bit shy but can be pushed into deadpan dead inside 'I'm too tired to deal with your bullshit'. Not so secretly craves validation just like the rest-

Sam: Outspoken "I will not take your bullshit" activist; stubborn but can be reasoned with, and does EXTENSIVE research on things she's passionate about

Tucker: Loyal "why am I here" kinda friend, who's hella smart and could do so much but likes what he likes. Takes everything in his stride, and it'd be pretty hard to like make him stop and bluescreen. (he also owns this weird PDA-chromebook-mobile hybrid and is hella attached because he made it with his bare hands AND paid for it. You will pry it from his cold dead hands.)

Mr. Lancer: cool teacher. thats- thats not it, but based off MY cool teachers he's just Like That.

Clockwork: Not exactly omniscent, but scarily calculative and smart; also compassionate though, and a bit on the serious side (that does NOT mean he doesn't do jokes tho)

Jazz: As quick as a whip and sharp as a tack, very analytical and... "mature for her age". She cares, but as a bigger sibling to a brother i'm gonna project and say that anyone under 11 triggers her "PROTECT CHILD" and "PUNT CHILD" instincts.

[whatthefuckisasweep]

(Steers away from rvb zero discourse) soooo

spencer porkensenson is literally one of my fave chars now bc i made some hcs and god fucking dammit i just love him now??? and i want more ppl to love spencer gd porkensenson bc hes a JOKE but GOD he is good for hcs and love

• he loves mlp and his ponysona is named Sunset Justice, his fave is twilight sparkle

• he helps run the Chorus fair each year and runs the horse shoe booth. he hands out the prizes

• he is very good at working w technical objects! He built his own armor & jetpack in a workshop. He likes modifying it and other stuff as a hobby on the side

• he loves loves loves animals, he wants to own a stable

• is COMPLETELY socially oblivious, so thats why he seems super intimidating all the time but hes actually just really polite and softspoken with a lot of body mods

• he is completely focused on his work usually, so he doesnt have much time to relax or be bored

• always wears his armor EVERYWHERE, i mean its a given in rvb but like even at his office job when no ones wearing armor and everyones like too awkward to tell him its weird

• is pretty solitary and lives alone, but loves making friends !

And

•HEAR MEOUT HEAR ME OUT: rvb joke here but imagine if spencer was just. working at every job on chorus as like the “default npc worker”, and he was SO overqualified. like, tucker walks into daycare: Mr Spencer is the teacher. He walks into a fastfood place and Spencer is there menacingly going “Lavernius Tucker”, and tucker just screams, but he was just saying his order. He is in a hotel just, dressed in a maid outfit over his armor and promptly replaces Grif’s towels or something. And when tucker like heads to greys to get his mind checked, Spencer’s the therapist and tucker goes “im going crazy” and spencer is just like “therapy is that away” (credit to @artesoterica ). Like he’s just living to serve Chorus. And the best part — he does NOT remember them at all, he’s just straight vibing and doing his jobs. ((Im gonna write this fic.))

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same 

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her 

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful 

ill have to google 

serial killer who only targets women?  it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum 

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday 

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!! 

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is 

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap 

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL 

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady 

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise 

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock 

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

 alphonse continues to be a precious angel 

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus??? 

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery 

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances 

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15, 

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun 

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD 

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!

[geminimoonbeamx]

Sweet Tooth: Part Six

A/N: Wow writing this story has me real life falling in love with this dude. Send halp you guys.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: Cursing, Lance Tucker being Lance Tucker. Male masturbation, Sexual situations(but it’s still pretty SFW)

Summary: Lance Tucker has come back to his hometown with his ego bruised and his look on life more tainted then ever. When he runs into Y/N; a vibrant plus size woman he went to high school with at her bakery ‘Cake Faced’, he leaves the shop with the taste of sugar on his lips and a hunger that has nothing to do with the cupcakes.

💘💘💘💘

You know when you just have one of those days that’s complete and absolute shit from start to finish? The kind of day where it feels like a every possible thing that could go wrong, does go wring?

Yeah, Lance Tucker was having one of those.

He woke up to a serious case of morning wood, like the violent kind, his erection strained painfully against the material of the sweat pants he’d worn to sleep and when he freed it, it had crooked up so fast that it slapped against the taut lower abs of his stomach. It wasn’t that Lance wasn’t accustomed to this particular issue, he’d been a teenage boy before, “Wet dreams are a normal part of growing up” he remembered his family doctor telling him, much to his mortification.

But he was a grown man now. He shouldn’t be waking up hard as a rock- at least not as frequently as he had been. For the last two weeks, ever since that god forsaken night at the bar, he’d been able to dream about nothing but you. It was cliché and annoying, but somehow you always popped up. His subconscious couldn’t keep you out.

Whether the dream was about him being lost at sea, in some kind of suburban ground hog day like hell- or scariest in a court room where he was being accused of sleeping with the gymnasts back in California- you we’re always there. Offering him a Pina Colada served in a coconut, or dressed in a tight 50’s style dress waiting for him when he sang out ‘Honey, I’m home", or sitting on the defense stand. “No, he’d never do that!”

You wouldn’t go away.

And waking from last nights dream, the one where he was seventeen again, winning his first gold and you were in his hotel room waiting for him. Your hair falling around your shoulders like a halo, a black silken robe hugging your curves. Your plump lips painted a bright cherry red, as you perched on your knees on the bed.

“Congratulations Mr. Tucker” Your voice had been angelic but your eyes we’re fucking monstrous. Devious. Enough to bring anyone to their knees “Come give me that gold” And then you’d opened that robe and he’d lost it at the sight of your heavy round breasts and cute tummy. Those pert nipples and thick, juicy thighs. Dream him had literally pounced on you.

And just as he was about to pound you into the mattress, the sound of someone next door mowing their lawn had woken him up.

“Fuck me” Lance groans as he fists his hard on, tugging it roughly. He was getting sick of jerking off. Sick of you messing with his head the way you had been doing since that day he’d walked into your shop.

You just wouldn’t cave, and he just wouldn’t give up his pride.

He hadn’t tried to contact you in the weeks that had followed your rejection. Even though he found himself driving past your shop, though he’d memorized the road that lead to your house. Why should he ask again? You should be the one asking, begging, for his attention. It shouldn’t be this fucking hard.

He thinks about that look in your eye, the one that had been there when you’d pressed that kiss to his cheek and then slammed the door in his face. How messed up is it that, thats what gets him off. Makes him shoot his load and bite his bottom lip so hard he thinks it might fall off.

He hates you, after he comes down from the high of the orgasm.

He wants you, when he cleans himself up,

When he thinks about how hard he had just came. Just with the thought of you behind his eyes. He could only imagine the real thing-

The blaring ring of his phone interrupts his thoughts and he reaches over to blindly grab at the device on his night stand, checking the time before answering it.

It was only 5:30 in the morning. What kind of sick fuck was mowing their lawn at this time?

“Hello?” He answers, his voice rough as sandpaper.

“Lance, my man” It’s the familiar voice of Allen, his manager-well former manager. He hadn’t spoken to him in months and he was kind of shocked to hear him now, this early in the morning.

Red flags instantly went up in his mind.

“Allen? What’s going on?”

“Hey, hey, breath. It’s nothing that we didn’t know was bound to happen eventually, I just wanted you to hear it form me before anyone else tells you about it” Lance had always hated the way Allen sugar coated everything “So CNN got a hold of the story-”

That catapulted him into a sitting positon “What the fuck?! What do you mean they got a hold of the story? I thought that it was being kept wrapped up? That’s why the gym got closed down, right?” Lance’s words tumble out of his mouth, dread filling his stomach.

“They tried to keep it under wraps, you know the Board didn’t want it out because it makes them look just as bad as anyone, but some mom leaked it to TMZ for the payout and well-”

“God fucking damn it” Lance runs a hand over his face. This was bad. Even though he’d had nothing to do with the whole Zach being a child molester thing, he knew that the whole gym was about to get drug through the mud. That everyone’s names that were even the least bit involved were soon going to be tarnished. Because no mother would ever have their child being coached by someone who was deemed “unsafe” by fucking Anderson Cooper.

His career really was over.

And funny thing, it wasn’t even his fault.

“-And it will be okay, you can give a statement and clear things up on your end-” He hadn’t even been listening to Allen’s rambling.

“No” Lance decides “Fuck no, I’m not saying shit. Not right now, when everything is about to blow up”

“But-”

“Allen, I have to go. Keep me updated about what’s going on, okay? I’d like to know when I’m gonna’ see my face on national news” And he doesn’t even wait for a reply before he clicks the end button and hangs up. He’s quiet for a moment, attempting to process it all.

He was the fucking god of gymnastics, they couldn’t do this to him. And yet they we’re- over some sex scandal he hadn’t even committed himself. He always though that if it was a sex scandal that was going to end his career, at least he’d would have been the one to do it!-

The heavy rumble of the lawn mower out side of his window makes his eye twitch and he gets out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt over his naked chest and making sure his sweats sit normally on his hips before storming out of the apartment- onto the little patio above the garage. Ready to tell who ever the stupid prick was- just how stupid of a prick they we’re.

“Ma?” Lance is shocked as he see’s his mother in the early morning light, a neon pink wicker gardening hat on as she maneuvers the lawn mower. She looks chipper- and completely oblivious to the fact that he was going through a crisis.

“Good morning, Lancelot!” She uses the nickname she’d always had for him, but doesn’t stop her task “There’s breakfast inside on the table. I made that grapefruit juice you like! Fresh squeezed!”

“Mom, it’s not even six in the morning yet, what the hell are you doing?” Lance, barefoot, pads down the wooden steps and onto the lawn. He’s dark hair is mused, his blue eyes still puffy and sleep swollen as he crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the woman who had given him life.

She stops the mower, just for a moment to talk to him.

“The early bird catches the worm, you’ve gotta’ remember that one, hon’. I’ve been up for hours, just look at my rose beds, don’t they look so nice?” He looks at the vast garden on the other side of the yard. It didn’t look any different to him but he tells her their nice anyway.

She’d been on this weird renovations kick, which meant so had he because he ended up finishing whatever project she started. So far she’d painted the kitchen, refurbished an old piece of shit dresser she’d found at a yard sale, and now was proceeding to prim the outside of the house. Retirement wasn’t being kind to her, he knew she’d never been able to stay idle. A trait he’d inherited from her.

“Now go eat! And make sure the girls are up, will you? And would you mind driving them to school today? Brooklyn has an early shift”

He wants to punch the garage wall. Wants to jump off the roof of it, but he forces a “fine” through his teeth and goes to play Mr. Uncle-mom to his nieces.

Had you told Lance last year that he’d be living back home, in a house full of women, he would have laughed in your face. And yet here he was, doing exactly that. He guessed it could be worse, at least he had a little bit of space since he lived in the room above the garage and not in the actual house, but still. He was drowning in estrogen.

He was drowning in general.

Mornings are chaotic in the Tucker household, Brooklyn gets the girls dressed and ready but then has to be out of the door to make it to work in time, Lance doesn’t hold it againts her. He knew she was trying, that life hadn’t been kind to her either in the last year.

So he helped as much as he could, taking a quick shower and getting ready at lightning speed so he could pick up where his sister had left off. His mom helped too, feeding them stacks of pancakes and cups of juice.

He can’t help but be a little bitter as he watches the girls mow down. He remembers the harsh diets he’d been on as a child, fuck he’d gotten protein shakes for breakfast since he was six. The early morning gym sessions. The pressure. His dad’s whip like schedule- training. Constantly. He couldn’t be the best if he half assed it.

He shakes the thoughts as the girls finish up and grab their back packs, heading out of the front door before he does.

“You’ve been such a big help, Lancelot. I’m so happy your home” his mother rubs his arm endearingly, looking at him with grateful tawny eyes.

“It’s no problem”

What else could he say?

He slides on his pair of Ray Bans and gives her head a kiss before he’s out, after the girls. It’s a picturesque morning, they sky all clear and blue. Birds sing singing and all that. And yet he can’t bring himself to appreciate it- actually he thinks he wishes for rain. That the April sky would open in and drench the earth.

“Ooh, I love this song. Turn it up!” Lula coo’s from her place in the back seat and he chuckles and turns up Elton John’s Tiny Dancer.

“How do you even know this song?” He wonders as she belts out the lyrics. She really was a sixty year old trapped in a six year old.

“It’s a classic, Uncle Lance!”

He shakes his head and then Zoey’s being particularly quiet. Which is noticeable. Because the girl is never quiet.

“You okay?” He asks her non chalantley, eyes not leaving the road. In his side view he can see her shrug.

“I guess”

“You guess?” He purses his lip at that “Wanna tell me what’s up?”

“No” she huffs her arms crossing and he’s dealt with enough women in his life time to know to not poke the bear.

“Alright…” He drawls out. There’s one moment and then two and then she caves, the flood gates bursting open like he’d knew they would.

Some little bitchy girl at her school was giving her shit about how she should go to the Spring Fling dance because there was the family pictures that had to be taken and Zoey didn’t have a family anymore.

His face screws up in disgust.

“First of all, fuck her” Lance tells his niece “And secondly, you do have a family. Your dad’s going to be in town that week and you know your moms not going to miss it”

Zoey looks pensive “But it’s not the same. They don’t love eachother anymore”

Lance sighs. At the top of the list of things he didn’t want to do right now, talking to her about love was pretty high up there.

“That’s alright. People fall out of love all the time. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about eachother, or you guys anymore. It’s just…what happens” Lance shrugs. That’s all he’s got. He’d never been an expert on the subject, his own parents were divorced. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his dad.

“You don’t think it’ll be weird, our family picture?”

“Of course it won’t. Your parents will be in it, and grandmas chaperoning. And what am I, chopped liver?” That get her to smile a little bit, bob her head with the music.

“No, you’re the coolest. That’s why I like it when you take us to school the best, everyone always talks about how cool this car is!”

He chuckles. At least some one thought he was cool.

“Yeah they say 'your uncle has a sick ass car’” Lula chimes from the back seat and Lance almost chokes.

“Lula” he warns and she nods.

“I know, I know. No telling mom that you let us cuss in your car. What happens in the Audi, stays in the Audi” the littlest girl recites to him before continuing her musical rendition of Elton John.

After he drops off the girls his brain kind of turns off, and he ends up phantom driving around town. Down the old back roads he’d learned how to drive on. Past the park that he’d gotten his first hand job at. Past the old gym that he’d shed blood, sweat and tears, for years at. He thinks maybe he should stop. Maybe going in would make him feel…better? Anything?

But he just drives past it like he had since he’d gotten back to Hillsboro.

When he ends back up on Main Street, he knows exactly where he’s going. Where his destination is, and he slides smoothly and swiftly into a parking space right out front of 'Cake Faced’

———————————-

You don’t miss Lance.

You’d told yourself that for the past two and a half weeks. He’d gone completely awol on you after that night on your porch. He’d totally disappeared. Hadn’t stopped by the store, hadn’t been anywhere around town. Your eyes peeled for him in the super market when you went. You looked for that head of raven hair everyday among the sea of customers, but it was no use. You didn’t have any way to get a hold of him either. No number, no idea where exactly his house was…not that you’d just show up at his house. Would you? You’d searched him up on Facebook and sat with his page on your laptop screen for an entire day, contemplating clicking the “accept friend” button. You remembered when he’d sent the request a few years ago you’d literally barked out loud and ignored it. And now…well now things were different, weren’t they?

You decided againts it though. He obviously wasn’t interested anymore. Had he ever really been at all?

You can’t be mad, not really. You’d been the one to turn him down, to end things so to say. You’d spent a lot of nights hating yourself for not letting him in. And almost as many thanking yourself, because this would feel a whole lot shittier had you made love to him. Had you let him in.

So you work. It’s what your good at, after all. The shop’s Instagram page has almost 700,000 followers and you were set to get interviewed by Portlands Better Homes and Gardens magazine. You were comfortable, in your routine. With your success.

So why did you feel so…so?

“Ugh” you curse as you ice a tray of cooled Rocky Road cupcakes. You always did this when you were feeling antsy. Frosting cupcakes was the rawest form of therapy to you. Which is why you’d done almost every batch this morning by yourself, shooing any of your workers who tried to take the dark from you.

“Fine. I love getting paid to sit on my ass and watch Netflix on my phone” Shane had sasses you and you’d sent him a warning glare. It would have been scarier had you not had a smear of rainbow frosting on your cheek.

When you exit the kitchen, on your way to your office, your not looking for Lance. For the first time since that night, your not scanning for him. Not even thinking about him.

When you run into a wall like figure. Tall and hard and smelling of Armani…

Your eyes trail upwards, taking in the white t-shirt and midnight blue bomber jacket. The toned muscle underneath. The sharp jaw line and then those cerulean eyes.

“Lance?” It comes out shocked, disbelief coloring your tone.

He sure knew how to fucking make an entrance. He kept doing this. Showing up and taking your breath away. Everytime, it was totally unexpected. He never failed at slapping you in the face, right when you stopped expecting the blow.

“Hey, sweetheart” He looks down at you, at the way your till pressed to his front. He can feel the rise and fall of your chest, “Miss me?”

You shake your head, but you can’t help the smile on your lips “Not even a little bit”

He knows it’s a lie, he can see it in your eyes. Hear it in your voice.

“I didn’t miss you at all either” he grins at the fact that you hadn’t stepped away. That you’d ran head first into him and now you were just standing there, pressed againts him. He decides to test it, he hasn’t seen that pretty face of yours in weeks and he can’t help the way that his hand that had been steadying on your shoulders drops, skimming down your side, the curve of your waist, and coming to rest on your lower back.

It was intimate, it wasn’t something two friends did. You don’t want to pull away but you are at work. And this town is so tiny… yoi were sure the rumor mill would eat this shit up.

“Huh, I bet. So that’s why you just turned up in here, right?” You don’t look away from him as you reach your hand around to where his was in your owed back, giving his long fingers a squeeze, before pulling them from your body and stepping away. He doesn’t let you pull your hand away though, he twines your fingers together and you fight the chill that creeps up your spine.

“I’m only here for the cupcakes” you slap his shoulder lightly at that and he brings your connected hands to his lips, pressing a kiss againts your knuckles “You got me hooked” he breaths againts your skin and your throat hitches at his words. You? Have him hooked? “I can’t get enough of those lavender cheesecake ones. I think I could eat them for the rest of my life and die happy”

You roll your eyes at him. Of course he’d been talking about the cupcakes. He couldn’t have been talking about you- about what ever was going on between the two of you. You pull your hand from his grasp.

He really did have some balls. Cutting contact with you and then just walking in here and holding your hand and looking at you like- like that! His eyes peircing and affectionate and playful.

Ugh.

You turn to go behind the counter, plucking one of the cupcakes from under the glass and placing it on a napkin.

“Here” you come back to him, reaching out to hand it to him.

“Wait, lemme grab my wallet-” Lance goes for his pockets but you shake your head, reaching to deposit the sweet in his hand.

“Your fine” you insist and he gives you a cocked eyebrow “Since you just came for the cupcakes. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

You know your being a little dramatic, but hey, it’s in your nature. And you still felt odd about having not heard from him, you had no idea where the two of you stood.

Lance guawfs humorlessly and balances the cake in one hand while grabbing your wrist in the other, yanking you to a stop.

“You know damn well I didn’t come for the cupcakes”

You feel so…small. Under the grip on your wrist and the authorities timber in his voice. It thrills you. It turns you on, even though you’d deny it. Him being like this, using his coach persona on you had your lower belly pooling with heat.

“I came to see you. I’ve had- a really crappy start to my day and I thought maybe we could take a drive” Lance continues on, his fingers still locked around your grip. You notice then, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. The way his shoulders sagged. He looked…sad. Of course, you’d never seen him upset so you didn’t really have anything to go on, but he didn’t hold himself the way he usually did. And there was a lot less gel in his hair today.

“Okay”

He doesn’t think he heard you right. Had you agreed? With out him having to convince you?

“Okay?” He clarifies, just to assure himself.

“Yeah. I’m going to go grab my bag, and a box for your cupcake. Do you want anything else? A water?” You ask him and even though he shakes his head you grab two bottled waters instead of one.

—————————————

Lance’s red sports car is amazing and as you climb onto the leather seat you can’t help but ogle at it a little bit. It suited him. You couldn’t really imagine him driving anything else.

Nothing else would have suited his sucidal driving habits.

“You okay over there, Sugar?” Lance’s mouth quirks as he looks over at you, your gripping the seat with white knuckles.

“Yeah, if you could please slow down though. I’d like to keep my life, thanks”

Of course Lance just chuckles and presses down on the gas harder. After a while, you realize he has it completely under control. The wheel is balanced in one hand, his eyes serene and calm as they stare at the road and you relax, trust blooming in your chest.

“So, where are we going?” You ask after you noticed that you’ve passed the 'Welcome to Hillsboro" sign.

“I don’t really know”

You humm and lean your head back, enjoying the whip of your hair and the sunshine on your face that came with the top of the convertible being down.

“You wanna go to my favorite park in the world? It’s a little out of the way, but it’s the best”

Your eyes get big and excited and of course he wants to take you to the place that makes you light up like that.

“Just tell me where to go”

You give him directions, you don’t even have to plug them into your phones GPS. The ride takes about forty five or so minutes but Lance doesn’t mind. He’d more then happy to drive far, far away from his problems at the moment.

You flip on a comedy station to pass the time and both of you end up in stitches after listening to Bert Kreischer’s Russian mob story.

“Oh hell no” you wheeze, wiping tears away from the corner of your eyes. Lance laughs so hard, his head thrown back. He looks carefree, and beautiful. So beautiful.

“Lance, look at the road!” You insist, still giggling as you poke his shoulder.

When he pulls into the gravel lot of where you say the park is, he can’t say he’s too impressed. It’s just a wide field shielded by heavy tree line-

“It’s a little bit of a walk to the actually park. That’s okay with you, right?” You tell him, reading the un-amazement on his face.

“Lead the way, Sugar plum”

The walk down the path that winds through the trees is filled with you teasing him relentlessly for calling you sugar plum. What kind of pet name was that? Sugar plum? Like the fairy? Lance just snorts and tells you that he knows you love it.

When you get to the actual park, he can see why it’s your favorite. It’s small and quaint and looks something it of a story book. With the large willow trees that framed the park equipment. There’s a sea of daffodils that bleeds into the shrubbery.

The Park looks a little like this

“How’d you even find this place?” Lance wonders as they swing back and forth on the swing set.

“I wish it was like some cutesy story, but it’s really not. I- as I assume you remember- am extremely directionary challenged and I got super lost one day and ended up here when I was ,like, I don’t know twenty, I think? I smoked a joint and slept in my car and now this is my favorite place”

He can’t help but chuckle at your story, at the bluntness. Unbeknownst to him, you were sharing something big with him. That day you’d gotten lost and found this place had just so happened to be the day of your mothers funeral.

You don’t tell him that part though.

You don’t want to shift the atmosphere, he already seems a bit down and the last thing you intend on doing is making it worse.

“I wish we had a joint right now” He sighs and looks up, eyes closed to the sun “I could really fucking use one”

“You know you can talk to me, right? I mean I’m a lot of things but a judgemental bitch is not one of them” You gnaw on your lip, gauging his reaction as you swing.

“Yeah, I know” Lance realizes how much he actually does want to talk about it. He just had no one to do so with. Everyone had their own busy lives and he couldn’t unload his shit on them, and yet here you were. Arguably the busiest, and yet you were still inviting him to lay it on you. Your eyes reassuring.

“Do you know why I moved back to town? Honestly” with the way he’s looking at you, you don’t think you would have been able to lie.

“Not really. I heard that some shit went down back in California, but no specific details”

Lance gets off the swing, with a huff and your worried you might have pushed too hard but he just throws you a backwards look, urging you to follow him.

And that’s how the two of you end up laying in the grass, him telling you about the fuckery road that his life had gone down. Lance took off his jacket and balled it up so that you could rest your head on it, your shoulder presses into his ribs as you listen to him.

It feels good, to vent. To bitch, to get it out. And you’re so receptive, really listening to him while not just letting him drone on. You give him input, you share your perspective.

“I think it’s probably my karma, all of this” Lance tries to sound light. Comical. But comes out bitter and upset instead.

“Hey, we all do stupid fucked up things. I hate to be the one to have to inform you of this, but your a human being” you sit up on your elbow so that your looking down at him, your hair tumbles over your shoulder like a curtian “I know your used to being this…Olympic God machine but your flesh and bone just like the rest of us”

He’s tracing your features with his eyes. The arching cupid’s bow of your lips, the deep dimples in your cheeks. The way your eyelashes flutter againts them as your gaze tips down to his. “My life is total and utter shit, Y/N”

Hearing him admit that to you, something you know wasn’t easy for him to say, makes your heart break. You reach out and push a stray, dark lock away from his forehead comfortingly. Lance keens at the feeling of your fingers feather light on his skin.

“Well, I guess you’re going to have to figure out what to do next then. Which isn’t easy, but your Lance Tucker. I have faith in you. You should have a little faith in yourself” you whisper, your fingers trailing down, skimming over that deep endent under his cheek that you had always ached to touch. Down past his chin, dancing along his protruding jaw line.

The way your looking at him is driving him crazy. The fondness and admariation your showering him with is too much…

But somehow it’s just enough. Just what he’d needed.

“Y/N” He starts but the words die in his throat. He doesn’t know what to say. How to thank you, for not letting him sink into the quick sand of self criticism. For being there for him, when he hadn’t realized he’d needed anyone there in the first place.

When he reaches up to cup the side of your neck and you don’t pull away he wants to kiss you. Then you bite your plump bottom lip between your teeth, and your eyes go bashful and sweet he needs to kiss you.

So he does. He pulls you down to his lips firmly internally groaning at the fact that he’s finally getting to taste you. Your lips taste sugary sweet, your breath in his mouth saccharine like candy and he can’t get enough. He twines his fingers under your hair and pulls you closer, his tounge delving into your mouth after a while, in search of more of that flavor. The little sqeaks and hums your emiting spur him on.

“Mmm, Lance” you get out between kisses and he just shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t want to stop. Not now. After he’s been dreaming about this shit for weeks like some idiot love sick teenager.

You break for the deep kiss, running your nose along his as you suck in a ragged breath of air. Your quaking at the intensity of it all. You were only kissing him, and yet your nerve endings felt frayed.

Every time he tries to go to deepen it again, to explore your sweet little mouth once more you stop him. Pecking and nibbling. When you lick the bow of his open mouth he literally growls.

“You’re the worst fucking tease I’ve ever met in my entire life” he accuses. Best kisser though, his brain shoots as an afterthought.

“Mmm” your teeth catch his bottom lip, and you tug at it experimentally “I think you need it”

You’re all but straddling him now, one of your legs throw over his hip as his arms cradle you close to his body, one hand in your hair and the other gripping the back of your thigh.

You forget how strong he is, forget what those Olympic grade muscles he hides under his shirt are capable of so when he flips you both suddenly, manuvering you as though your some skinny little rag doll, he knocks the air out of you.

He smirks down from his new position, holding his elf on his forearms above you.

He presses a kiss againts the corner of your lips “What I need is some relief. Do you know how serious the case of blue balls you’ve been giving me is? You’re killing me smalls”

You chuckle and blush at his words, turning away from his gaze. He takes that as an invitation and noses his way into the exposed side of you neck. You whimper when he begins to kiss at the hyper sensitive flesh there. You always had been a sucker for neck kisses.

When your phone rings, the shrill sound breaks you out of your Lance induced trance.

“Leave it” Lance’s breath his hit againts your ear, and he nips on the lobe to make his point.

“I can’t, it might be work” you press on his shoulder, and he gives only an inch. Only enough so that you can grab you phone. Your still pinned under him.

“Hello? Okay calm down- it’s not the end of the world. Just scratch the batch. What do you mean we’re out of the Madagascarn vanilla? I just ordered some like a month ago- fuck. Okay. No, I won’t be gone too much longer”

Lance sighs as he listens to your conversation, inferring that it’s time for him to move he gets off of you, reluctantly letting you sit up.

“I’m sorry, I left Tracy in charge and she’s new”

You apologize when you get off of the phone. Lance tells you that you have nothing to be sorry for, that he gets it and you lean in to peck him once more.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish” he warns wanting nothing more then you fuck you right here in the middle of this park. You giggle against his mouth.

Right as the sky gives an angry grumble of thunder and lightening streaks across the once sunny horizon.

And, Lance gets his wish from earlier, as it begins to sprinkle light raindrops. He’s cool for a moment, enjoying the pecks you press to his lips before recolonization causes his eyes to snap open.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him move so fast as he bolts up onto his feet.

“Fuck!” Lance cries “I left my roof down!”

—————————————–

When he drops you back off at the shop, with a final dragging kiss that you have to force yourself to pull away from, he feels better. He really does. He’s surprised just how fucking light he feels- as he watches you sashay back into your shop, shooting him one last smile over your shoulder.

He’s driving back home when his phone dings, he stops at a red light and checks the alert.

Y/N Y/L/N has accepted your friend request.

The one he’d sent literal years ago. Lance snorts and shakes his head. Finally.

Part Seven

—————————————

@huntressxtimelady @i-had-a-life-once @peacefulwriter88 @spookyscaryscully @zombiewerewolfqueen @adyseesbeauty @geekyweed @pegasusdragontiger @booklover2929 @ultrafangirl000 @acunningstargazer @curvybihufflepuff @la-meneur-louve @tatathekissypotato @iamwarrenspeace @the-loud-and-crazy-rabbit-pirate @aknerdchick @avinaris @yslbucky @sophiealiice @sebstanwassup @4theluvofall @wildefire @debbielovesbucky @peaceloveancolor @effielumiere @ballerinafairyprincess

Well this chapter ended up being almost 7k! I just couldn’t stop lol. I wanted you guys to get to peek into Lances life, while also keeping him in character. I’m obsessed with the way his and Y/Ns relationship is starting to unfold and I hope you guys are too. Next couple of chapters will be ALOTTA fluff and smut. And I’m thinking I want to wrap this one up soonish? Maybe end it with 10 Parts?

Leave me some feed back and let me know what you guys thought of this one! Love you pretty babies!

[jwgammuto]

Fantasy Booking for WrestleMania 35.

It’s time! It’s time! No it’s not Vader time, sadly. It’s time for a very special edition of One Chance In Hell, my fantasy booking for the Showcase of the Immortals. Unlike the WWE, I will apologize in advance for how brutally long this is likely to be but I’m all about consistency and I enjoy sharing my booking brilliance that will never happen with my fellow wrestling fans. Here we go!

The Women’s Battle Royal: In a true fantasy this match doesn’t exist. Not because these women don’t deserve a spot on the card, but because this is a cheap way to get everyone on the roster some face time and a pay day on the biggest show of the year. Winning it hasn’t meant anything so far and I don’t expect that to change in 2019. Since we are going to be subjected to this, I offer this solution. All 15 or so of these women start in the ring and it’s a cluster from the start. About 2-5 minutes in, a late entrant, Lacey Evans. She comes out and everyone at Met Life just assumes she’s going to cat walk around and leave without doing or saying anything. She struts about the ring, allowing a few of the women to be eliminated and looks at them with her patented disgust. Finally, when it’s down to a final elimination spot, between Asuka and whomever, she enters the ring, dumps them over the rope, and stands tall. No matter what the company plans to do following WM, whether ending brand split, draft, etc. Evans, finally, appears to be a player in a women’s division that needs a serious reboot following this Charlotte/Ronda/Becky obsessed last six months.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Argh. As if one of these isn’t enough but we will persevere. It appears obvious that Braun will pointlessly win this after hopefully severing the spines of Jost and Che so WWE never dares put celebrities in this event again. I have a different idea though. Since there is no rub for winning this damn thing, why not have the most entertainingly hilarious person win it and that, my friends, is Otis Dozovic. It doesn’t really matter to me how this has to happen, but logically Heavy Machinery hang in for a while and after Tucker gets eliminated, Otis rages and cleans the ring. This would probably require Braun to go out with the classic “everybody in the ring gang up” bit, but I’m ok with that. Otis carrying around that trophy and worshipping it for a couple months would be absolutely hilarious. I don’t see any other way to make this matter.

Buddy Murphy vs Tony Neiss’ abs for the Cruiserweight Title: Welcome to my first true pipe dream. This match will probably be good but not quite to the level that previous Murphy PPV matches have been because Tony Neiss. However, after Murphy disposes of Mr Abs, because he must, and an exhausted Murphy is collecting his belt, he is viciously attacked from behind by....Johnny Gargano. 205 Live lacks star power and a true test for Murphy these days outside of Cedric Alexander and that’s been done. Johnny TakeOver gives us our true first shock of the night and gives the crowd what will be a much needed energy spike for the next 6 hours to come. This of course would be predicated on Johnny losing to Cole tomorrow night. But how great would this be?

The USOs vs BlackOChet vs BulgarianKnee2Face vs Da Barrrrr for the Smackdown Tag Titles: It seems terribly likely that Ricochet and Black finally get their statement win here. I feel like it could be better. No one wants to see Da Barrrr win the titles for a seventh time and NakaRusev makes zero sense so for arguments sake, let’s say they can’t win. The end of what could be a great match will come with the USOs and BlackOChet in a melee with the other two teams distracted or down. Amidst the confusion, Black goes to hit Jimmy with Black Mass at the same Ricochet looks to do something insane from the ropes. Jimmy moves and Black destroys Ricochet, mid air, in what may end up being the spot of the night, by accident. Jey superkicks a distraught Black out of the ring and Jimmy pins an unconscious Ricochet to retain. Black and Ricochet have laid the foundation for an amazing feud built directly into Backlash. Everyone is happy.

AJ Styles vs Randy Orton: This one feels pretty easy to me and it obviously has the potential to either be an amazing match or a snooze fest of restholds. Ideally, I’d love to see some real action that ends abruptly with an RKO outta nowhere in an insane spot. Then Orton proceeds to destroy Styles further, picks up the mic, and launches into a tirade about how he is declaring war on all the “indie darlings” invading his house. Much like the legend killer bit he did early in his career, this could make him interesting for the foreseeable future.

Roman Reigns vs Drew McIntyre: Seems obvious that the guy who beat cancer gets to have a Wrestlemania moment right? Wrong. McIntyre winning is the only play here as far as I can see, particularly if the plan is to make Seth Rollins the champion later that night. Now, I’m not sure thats going to happen but let’s just assume it for now. These two guys should be able to put on a decent match with some pretty viscous hard hitting stuff. Roman hasn’t wrestled much since his return and is likely a bit rusty, even for him. This gives an opportunity for Drew to really shine here and just wear down Reigns and brutalize him while thwarting every effort to Oooaahh Up or throw ridiculous flying punches. McIntyre should be booked very strong here and should be the unquestionable winner. We won’t kid ourselves and assume Reigns isn’t going to get into this title picture sooner than later but this plants potential seeds for a big match later in the year where Roman will get his nauseating revenge.

Miz vs Shane O. Falls Count Anywhere: All signs point to Miz here. Nobody really wants to have this borderline terrible feud continue but bear with me. Shane and Miz almost never need to be in the ring for this. Have it get to outside or backstage where Shane can get his assistance in the form of Sanity. Miz, like this last week on Smackdown, manages to fight off Young, Wolfe, and Dain temporarily and as he gives chase to a shocked Shane, he meets the newest member of Sanity, Luke Harper. Harper proceeds to destroy the Miz with various objects and slamming him into everything available and then the foursome drags Miz back to the ring where they clear the Turkish announce table and hold Miz so Shane can hit the elbow from the ring and finish the job. Shane has his “corporate thug” faction, Sanity has a spot on the card, and the Miz remains our underdog babyface hero for now.

HugBoss vs The IIconics vs GlamaKitty vs Samoan SuckFest for the Women’s Tag Titles: It feels unlikely that Bayley and Banks lose here but let’s try for the hell of it. Much as I think it’s admirable that Beth Phoenix can still keep up and looks to be in great shape, I can’t see the point in her and Nattie winning the titles either. Nobody may be meaner than Taminer, but absolutely nobody wants her to be a tag champion either. This leaves us with the obvious choice and the only true tag team here. Peyton Royce and Billie Kay. The IIconics won’t lend a ton of credibility to the tag titles but have HugBoss really done that? At least if the IIconics have the titles, coming out and talking about it while avoiding defending them makes perfect sense as they are complete chicken shit heels. The best way for this match to go is to have Beth and Nia most definitely in the ring together which culminates in Phoenix having an incredible show of power over the Irresistable Force. This creates a melee outside the ring with Nattie and Taminer too, opening a window for a blind tag or some kind of confusion to give the IIconics a chance to steal a cheap roll up win from Banks or Bayley. Every time I do one of these, I’m certain I talk about Bayley and Sasha breaking up and feuding and this will not be the exception to that rule. Losing the tag titles is yet another perfect opportunity to plant seeds for Banks to go full bitch heel as she is meant to be and they can feud until what will be a fan dream matchup at SummerSlam. Meanwhile, the tag titles are.....ICONIC!

Bobby Lashley vs The Demon King for the IC championship: SSSSQQQQUUUUAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHH! There is no other way to book this. We’ve seen it a dozen times already. Balor wins in less than 60 seconds and afterwards they both sign a contract stating that they promise to never fight ever again.

Samoa Joe vs Rey Mysterio for the US Title: Let’s assume Rey is actually too hurt to compete. It’s a shame but it plays to my advantage. Joe comes out and cuts a vicious promo about his path of destruction and how the title has never meant more to any champion. He is cut off by R-Truth’s music. Truth comes out and says he wants his title back so he can give the United States all the dance breaks they desire. As he is face to face with Joe, Cena’s music hits and he hits the ring. Truth’s facial expression will be worth the price of admission here. A triple threat for the title it is. Truth and Cena end up doing a couple of team spots with Cena’s moves of doom on Joe but he eventually finds an opening (perhaps a dance break) where he can knock Big Match John out of the ring and lock in the Coquina Clutch for the win. Joe retains but we get our overdue laugh out loud moment with Cena and Truth.

Kirk Angel vs Banker Corbin: Since I already blew the wad on Cena for the US title fun, I have a better idea here. Angle comes out first to a huge ovation and is overcome with emotion as he talks briefly to the live crowd about how honored he’s been on this retirement road by his opponents and such. Corbin’s music hits. He yaps for a few seconds disrespecting as many people as possible and then he is attacked from behind by Gable, Apollo, Mysterio, and potentially a couple others. They drag him to the ring and beat him down, hitting respective finishers before feeding him to Angle, who hits one more Angle Slam and taps out Baron for his finale in a WWE ring. Corbin gets to cry going forward that it was unfair and keeps his heat, we don’t have to watch the sadness that is Kurt in the ring still, and Angle gets to win and stand tall and proud like the legend he is on the biggest stage.

Triple H vs Batista. No Holds Barred: By the end of this we are going to wish rest holds were barred. The build up was always going to be better than the execution. Dave freakin Batista is not going to be the guy who closes the door on Triple H’s career. Let’s be honest with ourselves. This is just a way for HHH to say there was nobody he didn’t beat. I really don’t know how you can possibly make this terribly interesting unless somehow Flair gets involved and helps Trips win. Obviously WWE nor I want a 70 year old guy out there doing too much but the dirtiest player in the game doesn’t need a large window to make an impact. Eye poke, dick shot. Whatever it takes. Wooooooooooo!

Daniel Bryan vs Kofi Kingston for the WWE Title: Yeah. KofiMania. Blah blah blah. It is arguably necessary after all this build to give Kofi the title. I have made it clear I don’t think he’s a feasible long term champion. So, in the interest of going against the grain as I do, here we go. Before the match, Kofi expressly tells Woods and E that he wants to do this on his own. Kofi and Bryan put on a hell of a contest. Tons of back and forth stuff with neat falls and all. Kofi fights off the occasional interference from Recyclable Rowan as well. Eventually the outside stuff begins to mount and the New Day comes down to even the odds. While the ref is distracted by Rowan, Bryan hits the Ric Flair Memorial move on Kofi and sets up in the corner to finish him with the knee. E and Woods get up on the apron, Rowan comes over to them, and the ref takes a bump while they fight with Rowan. Meanwhile Bryan attempts to end it but Kofi springs up and hits Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere and covers the champ. The ref is out while the crowd counts to 3. Kofi gets up and comes over to the corner to get an explanation as to why his tag partners are even out there, he turns around to meet the Vegan Knee of Doom. 1-2-3. Bryan continues his reign of Green Tyranny, the seeds are planted for a long overdue New Day spilt, and Kofi can become a much more interesting character on the road to SummerSlam where he will get his rematch with Bryan and finally win.

Brrrrroooocckkk Lesnar vs Seth Rollins for the Universal Title: In the interest of keeping the title picture clear of Roman for the time being, let’s have ol Seth burn Suplex City to the ground. The problem lies with Vince’s very probable need to make Lesnar look strong for an eventual return. For that to happen Rollins probably won’t be able to win clean. Insert Reigns and Ambrose helping in various ways for Seth to climb the mountain and win the strap. Also provides those people who have a fan boner for the Shield to go full Farmer Fran from The Waterboy one last time before Dean leaves the company. Rollins must win the title for the Drew McIntyre push to make any sense and this keeps Roman a reasonable distance from the Universal Title until at least later this year.

The Queen vs The Man vs the Mayor of Armbar City to inexplicably unify the Women’s titles: This ends the show. Wrestlemania always ends with a hero getting an absurd amount of confetti dropped on them. This narrative screams Becky Lynch. Let’s assume the rumors about Ronda Rousey leaving are just that. This is an absolutely perfect opportunity to start the Four Horsewomen feud. The classic action packed contest we are all expecting will happen. Lots of back and forth between the three. Near falls and submission escapes a plenty. As things slow down a bit, Charlotte takes a nasty cheap shot from Ronda and is down on the outside, Rousey then appears to be in serious trouble with Lynch taking her to ArmBar Village, and we get a visit from an angry ex champion, Shayna Bayzler, Jessamyn Duke, and Marina Shafir. The ref is tending to Flair, who appears hurt, while Bayzler and Co decimate The Man, allowing Rousey to slap on the arm bar. Becky resists more than anyone else ever has to the devastation of ArmBar City and passes out from the pain. Rousey pins her for the 1-2-3 and her new heel faction continues to destroy Charlotte to send a message. Ronda’s heel turn feels more natural now. She has a brutal faction of likeminded bad bitches. And we don’t get another year of Becky/Charlotte mortal enemies. They now have a common enemy.

Will any of this happen? Probably not. Certainly not most of it. But it’s fun to dream right? Enjoy a big weekend for us fans, everybody! Top Guy...OUT.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.