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swiss-cheeze · 4 years ago

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French Road, East || Spencer Reid

Request: YES/NO: Hi! Do you take requests?? If you do, can I please request a Spencer x Reader (Including the BAU), where they are dating and the reader is a year or so younger than spencer, but just as smart and very loved by the team, and one day she has to save the team from an unsub and gets really hurt and after everyone is safe they are all really worried about her?? Idk if that made sense at all. Love you work!

A/N: OKAY SO, myself and a few other tumblr accounts got sent this exact same request from the same requester. I have spoken with all of the accounts i know of that have gotten the request and we have all mutually agreed that we will continue with our own fics in our own way on the basis/sense of ‘every writer is different and it's cool to see how others interpret the same request’, please go check out their fics too but please also dont message any of us about this little thing thats happened or saying one was better than the other because that's not what we’re doing here.

We write because we love writing and we love making worlds and being creative, this is a mutual agreement, yes we’re not too pleased with this happening but we are fine with going ahead with both of our fics.

Thank you.

A/N: I also got a little carried away with this little thing and kind of forgot about the ‘they get hurt’ part and instead left the end open for angst purposes; possibly a second part if requested? I don't know. This is also 10 full pages on Google Docs.

Words: 5727

Gender: they/them, none.

Warnings: descripton of people being beaten, kidnapping, mention and use of drugs, previous trauma of the BAU team brought to light, mentions of sexual abuse and assualt, mentions of possible rape.

Description: when 6/8 of the BAU team gets kidnapped, it's up to you and Garcia to find them before it's too late, but what happens when an old nightmare may consume someone's life again?

PART 2: https://snitchthewitch.tumblr.com/post/626602019637149696/french-road-east-apartment-23-spencer-reid

------

Spencer had slept over at Dereks after they had both consulted over their paperwork while you had gone to yours and Spencer's apartment alone, normally you two would arrive at work together with coffee ready for the day but today it just felt...off. Coffee in hand you entered the elevator and checked your work phone for any missed messages.

Derek Morgan phone (4)

Derek Morgan imessage (6)

Spencer Reid phone (2)

Spencer Reid imessage (4)

Okay, that was a bit weird. They normally called once, maybe twice, had your phone shut down last night? As you entered onto level 6 you stepped off to the side of the opening on the hallway, out of people's way, as you opened your phone for the messages, Derek first.

‘Going out with Spence and Pen’

‘Spencer misses you’

‘Pen says she wants to hug you’

‘We’re fucjlkeddd’

‘I don't think somethings okay’

‘Pick up’

Fuck, okay, maybe they just encountered a mugger? Spencer next.

‘mISS YOUUU’

‘Derek ssaysys he doeessdnt frrl ojay’

‘Someoned follow us’

‘French road, east’

What the fuck? So apparently they got followed? And then? What the hell is french road east? Was it an actual road to the east? Maybe the voice messages would help.

“HEY (Y/N/N)!” its Derek, “WE’RE HAVING OUR BEST TIME! WISH YOU WERE HERE!” the music was as loud as Derek was shouting in your ear, you couldn't help but smile.

“(Y/N)!” Spencer, “I MISS YOUUU!” you laughed at his drunk talking, “SHOTS!” and it finished.

“Hey (Y/n), we’re uh,” a laugh, it's Derek, “we’re walking back to my place now, with Pen and Pretty Boy over here,” you heard a faint shout of your name before laughter and the call ended. There was one voice message left, “someones following us. Under six foot, black clothes and looks disarmed but I can't tell from where we are and it's dark. I'll update you later (Y/n), i'll keep Pretty Ricky safe. I promise” and that was it. You brought your phone away from your ear and looked at it skeptically, Derek's story was backed up by Spencer because they both said they were being followed, Garcia hasn't messaged you though, she probably got cut off from her phone before anything happened, probably in Derek's pants pocket. Maybe they were playing a prank? No they wouldn't, Derek’s voice was too certain to be a prank. You shook your head from the thoughts before walking into the Bullpen and dumping your bag at your desk and looking around, Anderson, Mike, Daffey, even Esmerelda was at work today and yet you couldn't spot a single one of your teammates.

Okay, maybe they all slept in? You walked up to Hotch's office and knocked before putting your head through the door; looks the same as it was left. Funny. Hotch was always the first one in, if he ever left at all. You walked to Rossi's office and yet this was the same as Hotch’s; untouched and unmoved. Okay, this was a little scary, you made your way to the conference room with quick feet as the creek of the door being opened sent a shiver down your spine as no one was waiting for a case or even grabbing coffee, but you did notice the one folder that sat alone in the middle of the table. Cautiously, you made your way over to the file, picked it up and opened it, the photos inside the folder almost made you throw up.

Hotch, Emily, Derek, Spencer, JJ and Rossi were all sitting against a wall, beaten, bruised and dirty, arms positioned behind their backs. Underneath the photo was a piece of paper with bold red writing, almost blood like.

YOU WERE WRONG.

Your throat constricted as your breathing increased, you started hyperventilating as you heard the click clack of a certain pair of heels.

“(Y/N)!” Garcia yelled, she was running as quickly as she could with her platform, a file and laptop in her arms, “the-the team they've” she took a breath, “they've been taken, captured, abducted!” it took Garcia a few seconds to realise that you were close to fainting. Garcia put her things down on the table as she directed you to sit in a chair, got you a cup of water and started the breathing exercises that she remembered Spencer teaching her, he taught everyone tricks to help those when having a panic or anxiety attack as its something they would definitely encounter during their time with both agents, victims and unsubs, a few minutes passed and you finally calmed down.

“T-they, they tried to contact me” you said quietly as you looked at Garcia who was red eyed.

“And i was there (Y/n), they dropped me off home and where going back to Dereks, i didn't know if they made it or not because i had already past out by the time my head hit the pillow” Garcia reminded you, it took you a moment to realise but you where both in the same situation, and you nodded as the plan started coming together in your mind.

“Okay,” you stood up as Garcia opened her laptop, “when did you find out?” you asked, you needed to determine how long each of you knew the team was missing.

“I unlocked the batcave and I had the same file on my desk, when I saw the photos I ran up here and then to you,” you nodded as Garcia spoke.

“Okay, I want cameras of every place each of our team members have been, bars, apartments, anything and everything. See if there are any recurring cars or bikes or vans that drive past the streets, do facial recognition on anyone following them like with Reid and Morgan, see if it's happened to all of them.” you took a breath as you called in someone from the bullpen and handed them both the files you and Garcia had been given, “Get this to the lab for fingerprints, this is top priority; we have a team missing” you'd told them, they nodded slightly scared and confused before walking off as Garcia started talking.

“I've got the filters on and they're searching but it's going to take some time,” Garcia said sadly.

“Look up previous cases the BAU has had including the words ‘you were wrong’, ‘French Road’ and ‘East’, possibly other words like ‘it was wrong’, ‘they are/were wrong’ that type of thing, date it back to Rossi's days,” you ordered Garcia.

“(Y/n), a lot of those files are physical if you go back to Rossi,” the tech analyst reminded you.

“I know but still, set filters for that and go as far back as you're able, tell me if you get any hits, i'm going to go down to the file room and i'm going to go back as far as Rossi's days for the physical copies until he started going digital,” you told Garcia, she looked reluctant to let you go so you moved to where she was sitting and you gave her a large hug, “we’ll find them Pen, i promise” you mumbled into her cherry scented hair.

“What about Spencer?” she asked softly as the two of you let go of each other.

“He sent me a message saying ‘french road east’, that has to mean something,” you smiled, “i'm going to try and find that road through all of DC and if there's a hit i'm going to go there and see what's up with it, it might be where they were taken or a street Spencer noted as an important thing for us to know” Garcia nodded and quickly sat back down and started typing on her laptop as you left.

God only knows what your teammates are going through right now.

-----

“YOU SON OF A BITCH” Derek yelled as J.J. was dragged to the middle of the floor and repeatedly beaten.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT” Hotch yelled as J.J. started to whimper, the people stopped at Hotch's comment and left J.J. on the floor, Emily and Spencer scrambling with their hands bound to get to their teammate, making sure she was okay.

“What do we want? We want you guys on our side!” one of the people said, he was happy, how could this make anyone happy?

“FBI agents in our group? We’d rule the world!” another one exclaimed as the rest of the group laughed.

“It obviously took a lot of time and planning didn't it? To capture all of us” Hotch said cooly, though on the inside he was boiling.

“Six months,” someone said, it was a new voice that came from the entrance of...the sewers? Poor Spencer was probably having an attack with all these germs.

“Hey boss! We got ‘em” another one said, god there was too many to remember.

“I can see, you missed two though” the Boss said as he looked at the team, a few of his men dragged Emily, Spencer and J.J. back to the wall they all sat at, “genius's lover, and the black guy's girlfriend” the man noted as his men became eerily quiet.

“The blonde girl was with that skinny guy,” a man pointed to Spencer, “And that one,” he pointed to Derek, “but they kept going to crowded places and bumping into people that we couldn't get them, and the other...one”

“The sexy one?” the boss's voice rang out with a grin.

“YOU LEAVE (Y/N) OUT OF THIS YOU BAS-” Spencer yelled before one of the men kicked him in the stomach, causing him to cough harshly.

“Shut it druggie” the Boss said, the looks on the teams faces gave him all the pleasure, “oh yeah, we know all about you guys; how Hotchner lost his wife, Rossi has had 3 divorces, Morgan was sexually abused, Prentiss has had an abortion at 15 and J.J., sweet little J.J. had a miscarrige” snickers from the men could be heard as the team looked away, embarrassment? No, just confused as to how these people knew such intimate things about them.

“And that little lover of yours, genius?” another voice questioned, the voice came toward Spencer, gripped the poor boy's hair and ripped his head up to look up at him as a pained expression came over the doctor, “they’re in for it big!” he cackled, “gonna have a lot of fun with them when we get them later,” and with that he threw Spencer against the wall, Spencer groaned as a few of his teammates called his name but he didn't register it, only the pounding in his ears and the feeling of blood rushing down his head. And with that, the men and their boss left, the door to the sewer room shut and the click of a lock echoed around the room, the silence the team heard afterwards was loud, deafening.

------

“What’ve we got Garcia?” you asked the analyst as you walked back into the room, placing 3 files on the table in front of her.

“Okay, very few cases including those words you gave me, a lot of the cases were only one unsub or two and I highly doubt there were only two unsubs so I crossed them off and? I got nothing,” the girl sighed as she got rid of the tabs to continue working, “the facial recognition software and car registration is still going, i've got hits for all of our friends being in the places that they mentioned, all of them had unfortunately been walking at the time but they go from one camera to another and then suddenly they're gone,”

“So our unsubs are sophisticated, this definitely took time to plan and get the right things for,” you mumbled as you looked at the victim board Garcia had hastily made up on the clear plastic, each member of your team's faces were up there along with a few other colour pieces of paper for the unsubs, and that's it.

“I haven't gotten any hits on the cars either” Garcia mentioned softly, you nodded.

“Okay well, i've got three cases here that all mention those words from before. First one is a group of five unsubs from Rossis and Gideons days but a lot of them are in jail if not all of them, the second is a cult group from Missouri and the last one is a gang of over thirty people; and not all of those thirty people had been found, prosecuted, jailed, killed and etcetera you get it” you fanned out the files and opened each of them.

“Which one do we think it is?” Garcia asked, we had no leads of which one it really is, so you took a breath and read over the files.

“Okay well, the five unsubs are all in jail and only two have been let out of prison in the last six months and it wouldn't be them because they only have two people in their gang, they’re loyal so they wouldn't start a new group without the originals” you closed the file and pushed it away and moved onto the other one, “the cult is rather big but they’re based in Missouri and i don't think they’d travel all the way over here to kidnap agents. This isn't religious or anything and they are so, definitely not them” you closed the file and landed on the last one, “okay, this one,” you looked over the file as Garcia started typing away, “fifteen have gotten out of jail in the past 2 years, five where never found and the rest are still in jail” you looked to Garcia, “this could be it”

“AH HA!” Garcia exclaimed, “i have a hit on three of those people who are in the system and they are following our lovely friends” Garcia typed another second as multiple video cameras came up showing your friends walking (or stumbling depending on who it was) along with one of three people following behind them a few feet.

“It has to be them then,” you said, “i'll go back down and find the rest of the files, Garcia i want you to find every bit of land, buildings, warehouses and houses they have ever bought, i want to know what they ate for breakfast on the third of january last year, i want to know what plumbing system they used in 2016; i wante everything” you said, albeit forcefully, as you walked out of the room and towards the file room again as Anderson walked back into the conference room and handed Garcia a few papers.

“Thank you Anderson,” Garcia mumbled as he looked over the paper, and sure enough there was fingerprints that matched one of the people who followed your teammates, Garcia then pulled up the video surveillance of the BAU and the facial recognition was quick to find the man enter the room, place the folder down with glove-less hands before walking out, he had a visitors pass.

-------

The scraping of metal against the floor awoke each member of the team slowly as a few people walked into the room, placed food trays on the ground in front of each team member, uncuffed the team and then walked out. The team looked to each other as a voice floated through a P.A. system above them.

“It isn't poisoned, and if you don't eat it then that's up to you but you will starve,” and the system shut off with a harsh beep.

“Hotch?” Derek asked.

“Eat unless you want to die,” was all their unit chief said before he moved forward and started eating the sandwich he had. Emily followed suit and gave a throaty moan as she drank the water from the goblet on the tray, the others soon followed.

-------

“There's nothing,” Garcia said as you entered the room again, “they don't have any land or anything,”

“Well find something then,” you said harshly, Garcia jumped slightly at your harsh tone but started typing again as you pinned up photos of each of the members out of the prison, “have you done a deep search on each person that's out of prison and that wasn't found?” you asked Garcia.

“Yes! Yes, five of the fifteen have alibis from the night our friends got taken and i can't find the rest nor can i find those other five that were never found, they really are off the grid (Y/n)” Garcia said as her fingers flew fast against the keyboard, you looked at the clock on the other side of the room.

“Ten hours,” you muttered, “god only knows what they’re going through,” you rubbed your hand over your face and paced slightly, “we have 15 persons of interest and we can't find them, do the ones with alibis have addresses?”

“They all do, three have work and home and the other two dont work and are stay-at-home-dads, all of their names and addresses have been sent to your phone” Garcia told you as a ping from your phone sounded.

“Okay, i'm going to go and check out that place Spencer gave me before he got taken, i'm gonna grab a few other people to go to other addresses because it'll save time and then regroup back here,” you said as you pulled your phone to your ear and started calling a few people.

You parked the car and made your way to French Road which was, as Spencer did say, to the east of the FBI headquarters. It looked like any other little street, a few cafes and a few empty blocks, it wasn't in the city but it wasn't in the suburbs; it wasn't deserted but it wasn't crowded, you noted this. Spencer and Derek weren't taken from here because they were in the middle of the city at the time of abduction, so there has to be something here that Spencer saw to make you come here. You looked in every alleyway on both sides of the street, doing a shallow dig in the dumpsters, opening a few cafe doors and asking a few questions but ending up with nothing. You let out a huff as you looked up and down the street again, until you realised something.

This was a dead end street. The end was a large circle so cars could do a U-turn and go the opposite way, stationed at the end of the street is a path to some sort of forest/secluded jogging track, this had to be a lead, it has to be. The leaves and sticks crunched as you walked along the track, your gun positioned next to you in your hand, ready for action whenever needed, that's when your phone made a large shrill and scared you half to death.

“What is it Mike?” you asked into the receiver after realising it was the other team who was out asking questions.

“We have a lead for the group from one of the stay-at-home-dads; they’ve been planning this for awhile but haven't put effort into it except for the past six months. We couldn't get a name because the guy was too loyal and was convinced they’d come after him but he did tell us that they tried to get in contact with him to regroup, he obviously refused but they left him alone after that, one phone call and nothing else,” Mike said, you could hear the slam of a car door as he got into one of the SUVs with his partner.

“Okay, that's good Mike, get that to Garcia and see if she can try and trace that call and what tower it's pinged from,” and with that you hung up as you heard Mike say ‘got it’ before the line went dead. You looked as far down the path as you could from where you stood but didn't go any further, if this was a lead then you would need backup and probable cause as to why you're there.

“All five of those men checked out with the same story, they each got a call asking them to rejoin the team and they refused, the caller disconnected right after that but they haven't gotten any threats since then. Unfortunately i couldn't find a tower it was pinging from and the number was from five different burner phones too,” Garcia said as you looked over the victim board.

“Background searches with those ten we had earlier?” you asked, “found anything else?”

“Um one, he's only 26 and but its a loose thread,” the picture came onto the screen, the man looked like he could pass as 16, “James Micheal, 26, the only thing i could find was that his credit card has weird transactions over the past six months so it fits our timeline however, i can't find the account it's going to so it must be a bugged one or fake or something similar” Garcia said as she brought up the transactions.

“Found him on the streets?” you asked, Garcia grinned and brought up a video feed, and upon further inspection, plus audio, you now had a profile.

-------

“Right-o,” a voice said, the metal door screeched open causing the team to wince as he and 2 other men stepped in, “who wants to go first?” he questioned, the sickening grin could be heard through his speech as the sewer was way too dark to see 3 feet in front of them.

“Grab the kid, he had the addiction,” another voice muttered before the men moved forward.

“HEY FUCK OFF,” Spencer yelled as two of the men tried to pin him down, Derek started scrambling towards Spencer to help but after a nasty blow to the jaw he backed away with guilt.

“Get the needle,” one of them said, this caused Spencer to tense, fuckfuckfuckfuck, this can't be happening, no way are they gonna inject him again.

“Look nerd, it's your old friend!” the first man said as he shook a small clear bottle in the slim stream of light from the roof, and sure enough there was a label with the one word that caused Spencer's fight or flight to make its appearance, Dilaudid.

“NO, DON'T YOU D-” a punch to the jaw caused Spencer to splutter and breath heavily as his arm was grabbed roughly, tied and the needle entered into his skin and vein, he sobbed. The team heard Spencer whimper as he felt the liquid inject into his veins and bloodstream, the telltale shortness of breath was quick to take its mark along with the immediate drowsiness as the men walked out without saying another word.

“SPENCE” J.J. exclaimed as the man in question fell into a slumber and the team crowded around the twitching boy, it was just like last time.

“Protect him,” Hotch said, “don't let them take him in this state, fight, bite, kick, i dont give a single shit,” the team looked at Hotch and nodded as they all took a silent oath to protect their friend.

------

“Our unsubs are up to ten people, possibly fifteen or more if they have recruited new people,” you started the profile with Garcia standing next to you, “we have one person of interest as of right now, James Micheal, we have video evidence and audio evidence of him speaking to each member of the BAU team trying to proposition them, as you all know a few of our team members would have ignored him, and a few would have talked or said a simple no; those who didn't say anything he continued to walk next to and annoy until that team member said something,” you took a breath, “we have evidence of James stalking the BAU team for the past 4 months from their work, to their home, to where they go for dinner on a special night or the bar; this includes both myself and Garcia in this stalking pile, we have added extra security to our own homes.”

“James has been making up to five thousand dollar transactions to some bugged account for the past six months and another two thousand dollars to a seperate account 2 months prior to those first six months,” Garcia was now delivering the digital trail, “this means he has been with this team for at least eight months, possibly more, he is most likely new, shy and unsure of what he is doing. James is being used and he knows he is but he has no way out as our unsubs keep saying things like ‘ill kill your family’, ‘you're nothing without us’, stuff like that,” Garcia used her hands to talk as she also pointed to the victim board to the photo of James’ driver's license.

“This team on unsubs are highly dangerous and we must proceed with caution around and with them, they all have gotten out of jail in the past 2 years and they obviously have a vengeance plan, please remember this. We also have a lead to where this team of unsubs could possibly be hiding but until we have James we cannot infiltrate the area. There is a fake missing person report out for James so we can hopefully get him into questioning, thank you,” and with that the people around you filtered away back to where they were meant to be going. You turned to Garcia.

“Do you think that was enough? What if we don't get to them wh-”

“Garcia stop, we cant think like that, we are the best of the best even without the team, okay?” you held Garcia enough to ground her as she nodded and wiped her tears.

“SSA (L/n)?” a new voice asked, you looked to the glass doors and sure enough, James Micheal was waiting there.

“James,” you said as you walked towards him.

“I saw the flyers and I just have one proposition,” James said, his voice was deep and definitely didn't match his face.

“What is it?” you asked as you walked to the interrogation room and allowed James to sit down in front of you with your back to the mirror, Garcia and Anderson were already standing in the small room before the interrogation room.

“I want protection until those guys are back in prison, i don't want them anywhere near me and i don't want them to find me,” James said, his voice was ridden with anxiety, you nodded.

“We can do that James, it's alright,” you reassured the man in front of you, “can you tell us who is in this group? Where are they staying?” you asked, James nodded.

“There's ten in the group, they're off the beaten track down some street in the east-”

“French Road?” you questioned, James nodded.

“Yeah, yeah that one,” he agreed, that was everything you needed from the previous encounter, “they don't have a lot of security but they’re pretty sophisticated with what they have on hand. They know everything about all of that team though,” Jack mentioned, “Emily got an abortion and that Red dude?”

“Reid” you corrected.

“Reid, they know of his Dilaudid thing and Hotch and his wife - they know everything,” Jack was shaking now, “they-they said they were going to use that against the team, the addiction, the trauma all of that”

“They’re going to dose Reid?” you asked with your shaken voice, that wasn't a good thing. Jack nodded as he looked to the clock.

“Most likely have already,” he whispered, you looked to the clock, 12 hours since the disappearance. Fuck. You nodded.

“You’ll be taken by another agent to a safe house and let out when this team is apprehended,” was all you said before walking out of the room and letting the door shut behind you. Your throat tightened and you couldn't breath as you sunk to your knees, Garcia and Anderson rushing to you.

“Breath (Y/n), breath” Garcia reminded you, “breath with me my sweetness” she said, Garcia made more effort to show her breathing as you tried to copy her, a few minutes passed before you had finally calmed down, tears streaked your eyes as you bumbled your words.

“I-its French road, Spencer was onto something,” you mumbled softly, “th-they know everything, from Reid's addi-addiction to Emily, and Hotch's wife,” you took a deep breath, “I-I want S.W.A.T. stationed with me, w-we’re going to infiltrate that place with the hel-lp of Jack and his direction-ns, possibly a map,” you looked to Anderson who nodded and walked out while taking out his phone to call for S.W.A.T., “Garcia i dont want you there,” you said, looking at the girl, she nodded in understanding as you stood up and started walking towards the way of the S.W.A.T. team.

------

J.J, Derek, Emily, Hotch and Rossi all whimpered as each member got kicked, punched, pulled, twisted and everything in between, Spencer was only just coming to from the drugs.

“N-no, dont,” Spencer whimpered, he was weak and could barely open his eyes but soon slipped back into a slumber.

“Y-you won't get away with this,” Emily whispered as one of the men gripped her jaw, her voice hoarse and scratchy.

“Oh darling, we will,” the man grinned as he threw the girl to the floor as the others piled the team on top of the others, all groaning and silently crying.

In retrospect, (Y/n) was rather glad that all members of the team were in the room when the door was busted open.

“FBI, PUT YOUR HANDS UP,” you yelled, the words echoing around the room, the men snickered as S.W.A.T. trained their guns on the men.

“It’s alright boys,” the boss said, your eyes trained towards the voice.

“Let. My team. Go,” you said calmly, gun now cocked, the man laughed.

“Go on boys,” the men moved out of the room but the boss stayed standing.

“Grab the team,” you said to S.W.A.T. behind you, the men walked in slowly and trusted you with your trained gun as they started carrying or walking out your team members, one having to cradle Spencer bridal style, “ambulance,” you said into the mic on your vest, “we need an ambulance for a poentional OD, Dilaudid was used, possibly a cocktail of other drugs but its unknown. Dont use other narcotics and if i find out you do i will be going to jail due to murder of doctors and nurses,” the sirens wailed in the distance.

“You’ve got tendencies too,” the boss said in front of you, “murder, killing, everything” you scoffed.

“Everyone does, its whether we have the empathy and understanding of ‘that's wrong’, which is why we don't do it unlike you people,” you seethed through your teeth, “hands up, you are under arrest for the kidnapping and torture of six FBI agents,” the man stayed silent for a moment.

“(Y/n) (L/n),” the man said, “pathetically in love with Agent Spencer Re-”

“It’s Doctor,” a voice said behind you, the cock of a gun could be heard before the tell-tale sound of a bullet being fired next to you, your natural reflexes made you dive to the right (as the bullet came from the left) as the boss was hit in the forehead and fell to the floor. You looked to the gun carrier.

Spencer Reid.

Gun held out straight, no tremble and a stern look.

Spencer looked to you and tears immediately spilled from his eyes as you stayed stone against the floor, “i see you got my message,” Spencer said softly with a smile before he collapsed to the floor in a heap of limbs, the gun clattering to the floor as paramedics rush to Spencers aid.

It seemed to go in slow motion, everything whizzed past you as other paramedics helped you to your feet, your eyes glassy and vision blurred as you got brought to the back of an ambulance. Around you each member of your team was being attended to, brought to a stretcher and taken in another ambulance, eight ambulance’s in total.

It was okay, you got all of the men, all of your team was safe.

Except.

“HES FLATLINING”

“We need to get him to the hospital NOW!”

“HE'S GOING TO O.D.”

#criminal minds #spencer reid #derek morgan #jj #penelopie garcia #aaron hotchner #hotch #hotchner #david rossi #emily prentiss #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer x reader #criminal minds x reader

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aurora-the-kunoichi · 4 years ago

Text

The Forgotten - Part Six Return of the Nerd

Full story here

SMUT FO SHO MY BITCHES, CAUSE THATS HOW I DO!

Despite her failing protests Michelangelo personally escorted Aurora from the compound. She really had no choice in the matter, if she tried to fight him, she would attract unwanted attention and she’d be found out. Thankfully, Mikey didn’t seem too keen on bringing her to Bishop, he actually looked a little nervous as his eyes moved about the hallway seeming to keep her from full view of all cameras. But she had gotten what she wanted, confirmation of Bishop’s base, the one they had been searching for, for years. This was a good thing; it was a win in her eyes.

He walked her through the main gate making sure to keep his massive frame in front of the cameras and guards to shield her presence. This was all so surreal; so much had changed in the last few months. They went from trying to end her life to being unable to control their hormones like horny teenagers but still wary of her motives. She’d take it.

As they came to the edge of the compound’s boundaries Mikey stopped turning to look at the kunoichi. His large mitt palmed the side of Aurora’s throat before running up to cup her cheek. His rough thumb drug over her bottom lip and he let out a soft sigh which by the sudden bunch of his shoulder muscles was unexpected. His eyes scanned over her face and a look of contentment flash over his baby blues but morphed to concern. “Leo said you told him there’s something inside of us, all of us. What is it?”

Taking a deep breath, she let it out ready to give him some answers his overactive brain was so desperately in need of, “It looks like a tiny metal octopus, like smaller than an eraser head. It constantly moves so it’s difficult to locate inside the body and why we weren’t able to figure out how he’s been controlling you all. We only found out recently and by pure accident. If only we had Donnie…..”

“Donnie?”

Closing her eyes momentarily Aurora let out a heavy sigh and she looked up into his baby blues, “He’s your brother. He went missing almost four years ago, a year before you, Leo and Raph were taken.” Another deep breath, but she decided to keep the new formation of Donnie trying to return from him. If he was lying, which he had always been a horrible liar but just in case he grew some new skills since he was reprogramed Aurora kept that little nugget of info close to her chest. ��

Mikey cocked his head rubbing the back of head, she could see him wince a little and his eyes fog over. “He’s a genius….purple.”

“Yeah, you’re right….Mike did that hurt you to think of that?”

“It felt like someone was trying to drill into the back of my skull. Fuckin burns man.”

Aurora moved quickly around to the back of the terrapin and pressed her palm to the back of his bald crown. There, she fucking felt it, the flutter of something under his flesh caught between his skull and his scalp. She reached for his hand and yanked it back to replace hers. “There! Do you feel it?!”

It took him a few seconds to feel the movement but when he did Mikey’s body jolted with surprise. “What the hell? Fuck!” His fingers cupped it trying to grab at it. “There is something in me! Cut it out! Jesus get it out!”

“I-I can’t Mike, that’s your skull, that’s a little more important than your shin or arm. It could get infected I don’t want to lose you to something as stupid as that. Besides its dark and I have nothing to grab it. My fingers would be covered in blood and that thing would slip free.”

“Fuck, it’s gone.” He began to touch his skin trying to find it again.

“The skull maybe blocks the transmission a little? I’ve seen your x-rays; you guys have thick skulls. Maybe the mutagen? I don’t know…..” Slowly she took his hand in hers pulling them to her cheeks, the gesture stopped his frenzy. “Why didn’t you turn me into Bishop? I was at your mercy and you didn’t give me over to him. You could have easily done so?”

“Your eyes.” He cupped her cheeks and locked eyes, “They’re the windows to the soul. The first time we ‘met’ I could see the sadness and the happiness all at the same time. You were legit happy to see us and then it morphed to sadness then terrified. If we had never met before, which we were meant to believe, I would have expected you to be terrified, which is what most people experience when they first see us. But you were happy, relieved even. Fuck, you even knew our god damn names. Like, I was shooketh! When we got back to base and I confronted Bishop. Bishop told me you were a kunoichi, you were a seductress using your womanly wiles to make us doubt the mission and must have gotten our names from a captured soldier. But your emotions were genuine, so I had trouble brushing it off. Then Raph had his little meet and great with you. You didn’t try to take him, just trying to talk. And then Leo, you could have easily killed him after you sent him to dream land…..awesome job by the way…..but you let him fucking go. What kind of enemy lets their enemies go? You didn’t hurt either of them. When I saw you in the hallway and the way you looked at me when I pulled you into that room, I could see happiness again. No one is happy to see us, not even Bishop. Right now, I can see love.”

Aurora could see tears begin to form at the corner of his eyes and her body responded following suit. “You were always so intuitive Mikey. I do, I love you, I love all of you. I miss you so much. I wish I could take you home with me.”

“I know, I know not until you get this slippery little fucker out of us. Plus, I need to stay here and make sure my bros are ok. He cut up Raph to punish Leo for not fulfilling the mission last night.”

“He did what?! That’s Raph’s blood on your hands?! …..Mission?”

“Calm down he’s fine, nothing life threatening. Leo was supposed to get loose and tell us where you were, but he never reported in. I guess Leo found something a little more entertaining.” He chuckled half heartily. “I don’t blame him…”

“Speaking of, how are you doing down there champ?”

“Blue balls for sure, but I’ll be fine nothing I can’t take care of in a little bit. If it wasn’t for all the security a few hundred feet away I’d have that pretty little pussy of yours stretched over this cock until you were hoarse from screaming my name.”

Heat flushed her checks and felt the warmth of new arousal bloom in her abdomen at the thought. “I’d let you too. But I need to get out of here before they get suspicious. I mean when you came down that hallway you looked determined. Where were you heading?”

Mikey’s eyes widened, “Fuck! I was going to get more bandages! I gotta go! I’ll see you soon Blondie!” and just like that he was gone, running towards the base at top speed. As he reached the main yard he began weaving around and jumping over bodies until he was a speck entering back into the compound.

It took Aurora less time to head back to her bike still being careful of motion detectors, she took to the streets and as she was a good distance away, she slowed her bike to a stop and pressed the com in her ear.

“White skull to base.”

It took a few minutes, but the familiar voice of Casey came over the com his mouth apparently filled with food. “This is Base, go ahead White Skull.”

“We have confirmation. Disneyland has been located.”

She didn’t go home right away, the talk of Donnie made Aurora take a detour to the lair. She informed Casey of her next stop and made her way below the streets. Everything was how she left it, dark and empty. Lights began to flicker on illuminating the large space; she moved to the kitchen pulling out a water and cracked it open downing the entire contents in one motion. She moved slowly eyeing the closed door to Donnie’s lab and decided that was where she wanted to be.

The door opened without a sound and she slipped inside keeping the arch in view. She willed it to come alive with power, to give her back Donnie. As she reached the piece of vexing machinery her fingers ran over the smooth edges finding them surprisingly warm. The lair was naturally cool due to the depth it laid so for the metal to be warm was odd. She moved to the controls and looked for any activity, lights coming alive under the key of the board, a flickering on the screen indicating any type of activity? Anything……anything of Donnie……

Minutes turned to hours, but she remained glued to her spot. Something in her gut told her to stay, not to leave the lair, not yet. Swiveling in his specially designed chair Aurora picked up a small device on Donatello’s desk and spun it around in her hands. It was glass, a cube to be exact, the reflective qualities were gorgeous, a prism effect. It was a light he had been working on, powered by the warmth from one’s hands. It only took a few moments for the cube to begin to flicker with the variety of colors of a rainbow. The longer she held it the brighter it got. When it reached the desired brightness, she placed it back on his work bench and stared into the shifting hues.

He had yet to perfect the device, it only held the charge for an hour or two, but he was certain he was about to have a breakthrough with the conversion of power. Something with the helix bonds or whatever. She knew he’d get it; she just didn’t think it would take this long.

She began to doze mesmerized by the lit cube. Her eyes half closed unfocused on anything she was suddenly aware the light was getting brighter? Did he fix something about it before he disappeared? Blinking her eyes rapidly she focused on the cube finding it like how it should be, dulling with time. Then what was that bright light?

The sounds of electricity crackling began to rise in volume in his lab along with the pulsing of light she had mistaken from the cube. The source now tore her gaze from Donnie’s work bench to the very much active arch. The light grew in intensity nearly blinding her as Aurora stood from her seat. She shielded her eyes with her arms and watched the arch snap and flicker with power.

A circle began to open within its circumference swirling between a greyish color and a bright blue. Then it started to fluctuate, and a figure began to form inside the growing vortex. The lines were fuzzy keeping the picture unclear, but her heart jumped and clenched with anxiousness at the forming figure. It had to be, it just had to be.

Without warning a burst of energy blew from the vortex sending Aurora back with its unexpected force. She toppled over his chair and into a stack of computer parts scattering them across the floor and Aurora on her ass. She quickly got to her feet and found the arc now stable giving her a perfect view of the genius. There was no flickering now, no waves of misaligns data, just a clear as day view of Donatello and it was glorious.

With unsure steps she made her way around the new mess on the lab floor but kept every sense, every ounce of her concentration on the tall missing terrapin staring back at her through the newly working portal.

She didn’t know when she had started crying but her cheeks were soaked and her voice unsure, but she called out, “D-Don?”

Donnie face broke out into an exuberant smile and he reached down for what looked like a bag and hoisted it over his broad shoulder. His left leg rose and slipped through the portal falling onto the cement floor of his lab and the rest of his body followed suit until he was living, breathing, real flesh and bone standing a few excruciating feet away from the trembling woman.

His tall frame was dressed in new clothes, his legs covered in properly fitted grey slacks with expensive looking custom black boots on his massive feet, old gadgets were gone replaced with smaller fancier items. His backpack was missing but his goggles remained but looked to have gotten a major upgrade. She could see his bo was still there also looking newer. Gone were his broken turtle glasses replaced with black rimed frames that better fit his face making the nerd look more sophisticated. Did he look bigger? The clothes were throwing her off. Where the fuck has he been? The words were on her lips, but she couldn’t move, all her screaming muscles cried out to touch him but she was paralyzed by shock. Four years, it had been, four years since she had seen him in the flesh.

The heavy leather duffle was set down and Donatello looked her up and down and he let out a long, very happy shuttering sigh. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

His voice finally broke her from her paralysis, and she stormed forward leaping into his arms praying she wasn’t hallucinating but the solid body that caught her was very much there and very much real. He was home.

Her hands ran over him just to make sure, up and down his arms, over his neck to the top of his muscled shoulders. Her fingers worked the first few buttons free and felt the familiar scars and gouges of his chest nearly sobbing at the realization of his return.

“You’re here, you’re really here!”

“I am, god, it took so long but I’m here.” His finger hooked under her chin so their eyes locked. Purple and brown both flooded with happy tears. “I’ve missed you.” His lips found hers, soft at first growing with enthusiasm as Aurora responded with vigor.

As their mouths engaged and reengaged in desperate collisions Aurora began to finish stripping the genius of his fancy shirt. Her fingers pulled the fabric from his shoulders, down his arms until he was free. To her delight she was right; Donatello had been working on his fitness while he had been stripped from his family. Donnie had been no weakling by any means, the purple banned terrapin could easily crush a skull with his bare hands but he had bulked up in his time away. Eager fingers ran along the ridges of the solid definition squeezing hard with appreciation.

Their mouths broke free pulling in gulps of air and Aurora’s moved to his chiseled jaw line nipping at the scales until he was panting.

“Don” she mewled between open mouth kisses down his long throat, “Donnie……D……Donatello.” The more she moaned his name the louder he crooned until he reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it free of her body in one fluid motion.

“Aurora.” He moaned cupping one breast with his free hand. Gently he squeezed and rolled the fabric over the mound finding the bud beneath peek quickly. His finger caught the bra and pulled it down releasing a breast to his gaze. With a heave Donnie lifted her higher so his mouth could cover the hot flesh sucking and nipping until her could feel the fabric of her pants dampen with her arousal against his plastron. “God, you smell divine. I want to taste you but I don’t think I can wait.”

There was so much to discuss, so much he didn’t know about. Donnie had no idea his brothers were no longer with the resistance and under Bishop’s control but he looked so happy in this moment and truth was so was Aurora. She would wait to break his heart, they would take this moment, they both needed it. It was a happy reunion and she was sure there would be more now with Donnie back. Gripping his cheeks she ground against him, “Then don’t.”

Donatello wasted no time and brought her over to his abandoned desk shoving everything from its surface. He dropped her down and yanked her boots and pants free of her body to begin fumbling with his belt. Aurora’s hands pushed them from the buckle and worked them free with trained ease. The button and zipper were next, teeth opening quickly but making sure not to harm the precious cargo beneath. When the massive erection sprung free of its confines Aurora’s hands were quick to gather the throbbing flesh in both palms.

The connection with hot flesh against her expert hands made Donnie groan in bliss. His hips shifted making his cock slide through her fingers and she gripped it firmly getting a shuttering sigh from the genius. Her finger found the dripping helm gathering the moister and ran the pad of her finger down the underside of his length staying with the pulsing vein. A hiss pulled through clenched teeth followed by a throaty call of her name. Aurora leaned back spreading her thighs giving him full view of her soaked folds.

His eyes blew wide at the sight and leaned forward grabbing her right thigh hoisting it up over his shoulder while pressing her back on the cold table. Reaching between them Donatello palmed his length running the spongy head through her folds drenching himself in her scent and essence. Donnie rumbled low closing his eyes to push the head of his cock just past her opening. He stilled at the tightness and the sound of Aurora’s hitch in breath. Rocking slightly he sheathed himself an inch before withdrawing nearly pulling free of her body.

“D-Donnie….please”

His eye opened looking down at his kunoichi, her face was beautifully flushed, chest heaving and her lips parted with rough breaths. Still only one breast freed from it fabric prison Donnie reached down to free the other. His large hands covered both mounds and the mutant eased more of himself into her, slowly, until every last inch of him was engulfed in the sweet wet heat of Aurora.

Both let out a shaky sign at their long past due union and Donnie leaned down to capture her mouth in a searing kiss. He pushed forward again and the pressure of his girth and length made the woman beneath him mewl, arching and twisting to get him to move.

“Patience Rora, it’s been far too long since I’ve had you.” Slow and deliberate he began to withdrawal tilting himself so he would drag across the roof of her canal. “…far too long.” Reluctantly his hands left her reddened breasts and moved to her hips snapping his own forward with deliberate intention of making Aurora more vocal. He was rewarded pleasantly when her head snapped back at the sudden reentry and a whimpering moan of his name erupted from her throat. It encouraged the deprived terrapin further and Donnie repeated the process at an agonizingly slow pace until she was pleading with him to fuck her.

Aurora reached up to grab the rim of the genius’s plastron and she pulled him down, her mouth finding his hungrily. Lips parted, tongues wound together and the long lost familiar taste of the genius invaded Aurora’s senses like a barreling freight train. It came and she sobbed into his mouth but didn’t’ break the dance.

The pained sound didn’t startle Donnie but he did pull her closer removing all space that was between them. “I’m sorry.” He pleaded between each drive of his hips. “I’m so sorry.” With each breathless apology his rhythm picked up rutting into the kunoichi with fevered abandon.

His mouth disconnected with hers traveling down to her throat nipping and sucking making sure to leave marks. It had been years since he had seen his own brand on her skin and he was determined to leave enough so each time she looked in the mirror these next few days he would be the only thing on her mind.

Aurora rocked into each plunge of his length whimpering with each strike into her depths. This was so much different than the other day. When she had Leo it was him physically but Leo wasn’t there mentally; he was in his head locked away but not present in the act, maybe to some extent but she couldn’t be sure just yet.

Donatello was here, all of him; mind body and soul and it made the reunion much more intense. As he drove her to the precipice her hands groped at the dense muscles of his arms dragging him back into her. She was desperate for every inch of him, every drop she was prepared to receive.

She could feel it, the beginnings of her peek. It started slow like an over flowing sink, the tingling sensation of her climax rolled in her cunt moving to the stretched lips of her labia swallowing his pumping cock.

Donnie growled feeling her walls started flutter around him, “Are you going to cum for me? I’ve been dre-ahh-aming of his moment for almost five years now. How many times I’ve imagined you under me to give myself a little piece.” His hips picked up in speed to help her along chasing his own in the process. “Cum.” He demanded. “Cum for Donnie.”

With his command it rolled up her belly and spread like wild fire as Aurora toppled over her peek. Her climax overtook her body tensing, arching into him and she screamed. Open mouthed echoing into the once vacant room she came undone around him.

“F-f-uck, so tight…..I’m gonna…….” One, two, three more pistons of his hips and Donatello drove forward one last time anchoring himself as far as her body would allow. His beak nudged Aurora’s head to the side to expose her throat and his teeth latched onto the slender column to hold his lover steady as he gave her his release. His cock pulsated painfully and finally erupted with rich ropes of his ejaculate flooding her insides. With each ebbing flow of his climax Donnie rocked into her body with small shallow movements until every drop of his seed was deposited into her womb.

It took a few minutes for both to calm down, clinging to each other unwilling to disconnect just yet. He was still seated within her as her fingers ran along the top of his shell in slow soothing motions. She didn’t want to move, she just wanted to enjoy being close to Donnie, he was back, real. His smell was soothing, and his slowing heart beat that thudded against his plastron would easily lull her to sleep. But now it was time for questions, time for answers and he needed to know about his brothers.

Aurora’s fingers moved to his skull and moved along the back to run down the base of his spin that transitioned into his carapace. He shuttered at the sensation and finally leaned up to look her in the eyes.

“Hi.” He whispered ghosting his lips over hers.

“Hey yourself, nerd.”

His brown eyes moved over Aurora’s flushed features taking her in, really looking her over for the first time in four years. He could she was happy, and sated for that matter but there as something else in those violet eyes. Then it hit him, they usually moved in pairs, one of his brothers should have been in her company. “Why are you here alone? Are they at the base?”

She knew who Don was referring too and shifted under him. “Don…there is something I need to tell you.”

Donnie’s lazy smile lowered his afterglow forgotten. Slowly he pulled from Aurora’s depths and helped her from the table. His lips pressed in a thin line. “No, please don’t tell me……..they’re…….”

Aurora quickly grabbed for his face not wanting him to finish the sentence. “No! No, they’re not.” She watched his tense body relax at the knowledge his brothers were not dead. “But…they fell under Bishop’s control. Over three years ago Bishop set up an elaborate plan to capture them, you as well if you were with us. He tricked us with false information from a faulty lead and trapped them in an electrified cage. We weren’t able to get to them in time before he stole them away. We barely made it out with our lives as it was. It broke me, broke us, I don’t think the resistance ever fully recovered from the loss of you all. Casey and I ran into them a few months ago for the first time since losing them after trying to confiscate a tech truck that they were overseeing. Leo…Leo nearly killed me. They didn’t know who I was.” Her finger ran over the scar on her abdomen. “But that meeting triggered something in them. All three of them were then drawn to me; I’ve had rather intense interactions with each of them since then.”

She watched the emotions run across his face; confusion, anger, sadness and finally acceptance. “We’ll get them back. I promise I’ll work day and night to continue my work on how he’s controlling them. We’ll find them, bring them home, I didn’t work my ass off for four years and across several dimensions to not see my brothers again.”

“That’s the other thing Don, we found it.”

“Found it?” He parroted tilting his head in confusion.

“What Bishop puts in his victims to control them. It’s back at the base at R & D for analysis. It looks like a tiny octopus. We just need to figure out the ‘how’ now, and cut the communication and…. fuck…. we found Bishop’s allusive base tonight too.”

Donnie cupped her checks and pressed another life stealing kiss to her mouth. With a pop he pulled away with a toothy grin. “You have been rather successful without us.”

Eyes closed she savored his taste licking her lips, he still drank coffee. They had that where he was? “It took us a bit but you came back just in time to give us a win.” Then her violet eyes snapped open and her palm pressed against his chest applying pressure until the mutant fell into his computer chair with a grunt. She then climbed back on top the genius’s lap and gripped the sides of his plastron looking him square in the eyes. “Now genius…..spill it, where the FUCK have you been?”

His hands went back to her hips and let out a sigh, “That night when I disappeared I had an epiphany; I came down here with an idea that this thing could help us.” His long arm gestured to his most recent ride home and returned to her lower back to rub the pads of his fingers along her still exposed flesh. “I was working to use it to access different dimensions….eventually: the nexus, new worlds but what if I used it for a simpler purpose? Move our soldiers from base to a target location to utilize the element of surprise? It would lower the chances of casualties by 30%. I was just going do a test honestly but I must have hit the wrong the button and found myself sucked into the arch and in a new world a very strange new world.”

“How strange?”

“Like another version of my brothers and I strange.”

Aurora’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. “More mutant turtles? Like you? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Yes I know, it was rather a large shock for me let me tell you. I dropped right into their lair right on top of another Michelangelo. They looked a little different than us, shorter, no clothes besides leather obi’s, knee and elbow pads. Younger versions with their Master splinter still alive, same dynamic though, with Leonardo still as leader. Their Donnie was brilliant; making miraculous things with trash, a very resourceful terrapin in deed. He had made a battle shell, a shell sub and a sewer slider, plus others. Anyways, naturally they were rather distressed seeing my tall ass drop in on them in their home unannounced. After a few hours of telling them my story, and talking about my own brothers and their similarities, Donnie and his brothers agreed to help me get home. As you can see it took longer than we thought it would, finding the right components and a power source had proved more challenging than anticipated. Then finding the right coordinates proved another hurdle to overcome. I got here on accident so it was trial and error until I saw you the other day through the portal. It was the most glorious sight I had ever seen but the power course failed under the strain, which is why I couldn’t come through. We needed to reinforce it to support the transdimensional pull from the other dimensions trying to break through. After we fixed that problem and your face appeared clear as day on the other side I knew we had gotten it right.”

She looked at him absentmindedly running her palms over his exposed biceps, another dimension with more mutant turtle brothers? How many more she wondered quickly before shaking herself from the thought. “Did they have their own Bishop?”

“Yes, actually they do, and strangely enough as Donnie and I were working one night he confessed his own trip to another dimension or terrible future, he wasn’t sure. It was around our timeline and age; I guess their Donnie had disappeared without a trace as well. Mikey had lost an arm, Raph his eye and Leo his entire eye sight. Casey had passed and the villain was shredder. He had enslaved the entire world killing master Splinter in the process which threw a massive wedge between Leo and Raphael, a very violent wedge that kept them apart for years.”

“Fuck….I…”

“There’s more…… they managed to defeat Shredder with Donnie’s help but Leo, Raph and Mikey perished in the fight. It happened years ago and it still gives him nightmares. It would me too, watching my brothers die right in front of me. I don’t think I’d ever recover.” Wiping away a stray tear Donatello gripped her body tighter remembering she had to witness them all ripped from her. “All these years you had no idea what happened to me and then you lose the rest of them. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t get back sooner. I promise we’ll get them back.”

She could see the anxiety rise in the genius as he began to process everything. How similar the scenarios were for both worlds and after everything he was still without most of his family. “Deep breaths Donnie, I need you level headed when we head back to base. I know we’ll get them back now that you’re back home. There’s a lot of work to be done and April and Casey are gonna be over the moon to see you. I’m so happy to see you.”

She was about to remover herself from his lap when she felt the head of his cock nudge against her entrance and soon found herself stuffed full of her genius once again. Donnie took Aurora two more times before he relinquished his hold on her and allowed her to dress.

Pulling her back into his embrace after watching Aurora tie her katana back to her hip Don pressed a few open mouthed kisses to her throat. “I’m sorry, I have four years of pent up need for you to work through. You’re not going to walk right for a week after I’ve had my fill.”

His voice dropped at the delicious threat making her shiver at his continued advances and lean into his plastron. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

The run back to base was pleasant with Donatello right by her side. His long legs made him naturally faster which pushed her harder to keep up with the lanky turtle but the occasionally view of his perfectly round cheeks wasn’t a bad thing either. She couldn’t wait to sink her teeth into them later tonight.

“White skull to base.” Aurora called into her com as they moved to the final block of their trek home.

“This is base, please go ahead White Skull.”

“Will you tell The Curator and Meathead that I’m bring home a present.”

“Will do, ETA?”

“Five minutes.”

“See you then.”

Donnie slowed down looking at his kunoichi. “You’re not gonna tell them I’m coming?”

“I wanna see their faces when they lay eyes on you. I wanna keep that memory forever and put it with the same one we’ll get when your brothers return home.”

@imthegreenfairy88 @ravn-87 @alonia143 @tmntspidergirl @blossom-skies

#tmnt #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michaelangelo #the forgotten #part six #return on the nerd #aurora-the-kunoichi #self indulgent bullshit

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smallestclowninthecircus · 4 years ago

Text

Tma season 2 notes baybeee

I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.

ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one

ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon

ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.

ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!

ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!

ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr

ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.

Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.

ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body

ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao

ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim

ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.

ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before

ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay

ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?

ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!

ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please

ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1

ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.

ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.

ep 60: the eye go brr

ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires

ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?

ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.

ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him

ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.

So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.

Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye

ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?

ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.

ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.

ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.

ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.

ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)

ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!

ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?

ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.

ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.

ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.

ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?

ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.

ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.

ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.

#Neptune tma notes

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themikewheelers · 5 years ago

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I just saw a post that was basically "El doesn't like it when Mike does nerdy things" (Yoda voice, manaquin, singing), and said that was PROOF that they're incompatible, 'cause "she doesn't like it when Mike is Mike", and it's just... wow. WHAT an analysis. Not flawed at all.

First off ,,,, “nerdy” stuff like that is not Mike’s whole character and acting like thats all he is ,, is just a bad take to begin with. Like we all have our nerdy traits and our weird quirks, but they’re not encompassing of who we are as ppl, and i REALLY don’t think if you asked someone to list off the traits about themselves they would want/expect a S.O. to love, they would start talking about their love for Star Wars or whatever. Instead they would list qualities like “I’m loyal” “I’m loving” “I’m a good person.” And subsequently, all those types of qualities ARE the reasons El loves him

And second off its such a stretch to say that El doesnt also love all of Mike’s nerdy quirks? Like I don’t even know where you would get that from the show lmao. Like in two of the examples you mentioned, Yoda and the mannequin, I kinda get bc like obv shes not reacting to Mike’s attempt to make her laugh. But there’s also… context? Like in the Yoda situation girl didn’t even know wtf he was doing ofc she doesn’t find it funny lmao. She doesn’t even know who Yoda is, ofc she’s not entertained by a Yoda impression. Plus in case ya forgot, girl had much bigger things on her mind in that scene. And in the mannequin scene, she’s MAD at Mike. She’s not ignoring the mannequin bc she hates Mike’s sense of humor, she’s ignoring it bc she’s mad at him and doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of having made her laugh lmao. Plus also…. there’s no way Mike pulled that stupid mannequin joke knowing El was mad at him if smth like that hadn’t made her laugh or cheered her up in the past. Like all of s3 his attempts to make her laugh are so strategic and thought out its honestly adorable. He didn’t do the mannequin impression bc it’s HIS personality, he did it bc it’s EL’s, and he absolutely knew smth like that had made her laugh in the past. So he walked in, zeroed in on the mannequin, and thought “Yes that’s it El will love that.” But unfortunately for Mike, he underestimated how mad she rlly was at him. And beyond that, even looking beyond those two examples, how else are you getting that El hates Mike’s nerdy quirks? Like you also mentioned the singing scene, but thats literally proving the exact OPPOSITE. Like sure she’s playfully telling him to stop and pretending she hates it, but she’s also laughing so hard and has the biggest heart eyes and immediately pulling him into a kiss afterwards. It’s…. flirting? Like there’s no other word for it. It’s literally just baseline flirting pretending to hate your S.O.’s nerdy actions when in reality both of you know you love it lmao. And like I genuinely cannot think of anything else in the show that can be used to try and prove El hates Mike’s sense of humor or his quirks or any of that. She literally loves all the nerdy things about him! El’s got such a nerdy sense of humor too (but ppl 100% try to sweet that under the rug like they also conveniently forget the rest of her personality too). She always so head over heels for the nerdy stuff he does.

In conclusion El loves all of the goofy things Mike does and they’re absolutely super endearing to her. But they are also not the reason why she loves him bc she loves him for who he is as a person, and his heart and personality and soul. So even if she didnt love his quirks, that would not be “evidence” that she doesn’t love him bc he is so much more than that and stuff like that is so superficial. “Mike being Mike” is so much more than Mike doing nerdy things, bc he’s got such a big personality with so many deeper things about him to love

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emsartwork · 5 years ago

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ask dump! Separated loosely by topic

Questions and Comments

1. is this a homestuck thing. this is a homestuck thing isnt it 2. lol i love doing both!!! i love world building but i also like trying my hand at redesigning the mess that is canon fashion. @theoretical-artist 3. thank you!!! oritel and marion are in this post! 4. ayyyyy inginio hit me up (thank you lol) 5. Thank you! 6. maybe? i’ll see if i get around to it, i still have a few characters to get to so the school fairies and the last two selkies might show up with them 7. probably not.... it would be super fun but unless it was a commission i don’t feel like i have time haha 8. I’ve seen their blog around!! i can’t remember if i follow or not but i know who ur talking about and they cool @winxy-writing @winxys-written-world

Character and Worlbuilding

1. My brilliant nerd daughter!!! She sometimes gets so into coding or a video game she forgets to eat or drink so the girls watch out for her. She’s prone to dissociating, especially if the situation is emotional. Her hair is really soft. she actually loves sappy romantic things but has trouble accepting them or vocalizing that she wants them because they’re impractical/illogical. she discovered romcoms when she got to alfea and they are her ultimate guilty pleasure(only flora knows abt this and is always slipping recs to her) 2. They’re weirdly one of my fav couples??? like maybe its because i relate to and have projected onto both of them lmao. but any ways. Daphne and Thoren actually met when they were kids, but didn’t spend much time together because it was at a formal event. Daphne is technically 20 years older than Thoren(only a few years older than Sky), but they’re the same physical age because Daphne spent so long as a spirit. They probably wouldn’t get married as quickly in my version, especially with Daphne’s trauma. Daphne will have nightmares sometimes and Thoren has a whole routine for comforting her and helping her feel safe and grounded. Thoren gets anxious easily, and Daphne will use her magic to subtly change the environment so he feels more comfortable. they like to watch reality tv together and yell at dramatic people. 3. omg yes. this was the most frustrating thing i was watching through winx with my dad like a month ago and every time bloom called her adoptive parents by their first names i yelled at her lol. she would call Vanessa mama and Mike daddy(if you make a kink joke i will eat your liver). She would call Marion and Oritel mom and dad. 4. Yeah kind of! part of her exhaustion in Dowlland was the fact that she had been in fairy mode for so long, hiking underground, and tossed around in a river like??? anybody would need a pick me up after that. She (and all solarians) do have to live where there’s a lot of natural light as they require a high amount of vitamin d(or the equivalent of it for solarians). short trips usually aren’t a problem, Stella is just hella unlucky in the second season lmao. @moonpeachblossom 5. the short answer as to why she’s a blond (scottish??? in one of the dubs???) in an asian inspired culture/planet is because racism (or not so short bcus its a lot to unpack honestly). the answer in my version however is a pretty simple fix. She bleaches her hair. she’s paler than musa but she aint white. 6. I haven’t really yet!! Helia is struggling with his two fairly opposed cultural influences, trying to figure what he wants and whats right for him. He was raised on Lynphea but had frequent trips to Vaonaa. Lynphea is very grounded, they’re slow and steady and stubborn. Vaonaa is much more flexible, they’re flighty and spontaneous and easily adaptable. Helia’s dads love eachother and helia very much but they are VERY different people and both want different things from Helia(they try not to pressure too much but the expectations are still there). Helia’s Vaonaaj dad wants him to pursue magic, specifically wind or air magic. Helia’s Lynphean dad wants him to become a warrior. Helia feels like he’s kind of a misfit in both Vaonaaj and Lynphean culture. It took a while, but he did finally confide his feelings in Flora and she encouraged him to talk with his dads about finding his niche. 7. oooooooh fun fun relationshipsssss Bloom and Sky: so bloom and sky aren’t the most stable couple, and in my version it would take bloom a little longer to be ok with dating a prince. Bloom is fairly insecure in her relationships because of self worth issues, and tend to run away from problems instead of dealing with them. Sky on the other hand is confident but doesn’t really know how to handle people’s feelings and tends to push confrontation. I do believe that with better writing Sky and bloom could be a dope couple but as is in canon they’re VERY problematic. Stella and Brandon: babies. they love each other so much its the best omg. Stella finds her worth in her appearance but she always seems to take brandon’s complements in a less.... arrogant way? if that makes sense? like she truly appreciates them and wants his support. i wish we knew more about Brandon but he’s legit such a good boyfriend. I think they fight mostly when Stella is being a little selfish, or when Brandon is too busy to meet her emotional needs. Flora and Helia: MORE BABIES. so Helia is more of a drama queen in the comics but we’ll ignore that for right now lol. Flora and Helia are probably the least problematic couple in the entire show. They met. Flirted a little. Confessed. and started dating with out any major problems. if i can remember correctly they don’t even really fight??? unless icy has frozen helia’s heart or something lol. I think both Helia and Flora’s love language is quality time so they’re fairly low key and just like to be in the same space and each other. Musa and Riven: boy oh boy. Ok so, ignoring the several times Riven was LITERALLY MIND CONTROLLED his character is still difficult to deal with. I think Musa and Riven are both very intense people, and while that can be super fun and develop into a good relationship, it can also lead to LOTS of problems. I think my major problem with how they broke up was that Musa didn’t support Riven’s training? like i understand being upset you can’t see ur person often, or if they’re really busy, but Riven supported Musa’s music several times in the previous seasons it just seemed weird Musa was so unfairly demanding of him? Tecna and Timmy: nerd babies. They’re super cute honestly. I think Timmy was probably the one to instigate the relationship and bonded with Tecna over technology since she wasn’t super emotionally available at first. They have issues when Tecna is unable to voice her emotions and timmy needs to know what she’s feeling mostly, but after the first few times they’ve both learned to give the other space to figure their stuff out. Aisha and Nabu: ugh perfect couple. minus the kind of sketchy beginning lol. Aisha and Nabu generally don’t fight once they get used to each other. Nabu is a focal point that aisha is kind of bungee corded to if that makes sense? like obvi not in a restricting way. its just Aisha is hella active and needs her own space to explore and grow, but Nabu is her solid ground that she relies on. Aisha and Nex: i actually don’t hate nex as much as the rest of the fandom lol. so like i said Aisha is an active, independent woman, and if Nabu was a separate, stationary, focal point for her, I think Nex is related, moving, counter point. So like Nex can actually keep up with Aisha, and push her and challenge her. Which isn’t a bad thing in relationships so long as a mutual respect is there. 8. well. canon is a little..... messy. My version of the girls definitely retain their individualism. for other differences... they’re just a little more fleshed out? i guess? like Bloom’s moody behavior in the show i think is because of her insecurity issues, so that plays a part in how i draw her and think of her. 9. ok wow this is gonna be tough well here we go Sky: I think sky is an ESTJ he’s not super emotional(inf Fe) but can lean toward controlling(dom Te). he seems to like tradition and think social promises are important(Si). Brandon: ESFJ. Brandon is the mom friend of the boys ok. He goes along with sky’s crazy plans, tries to subtly set Riven up with musa(season 1 i think?), some how managed to land a social butterfly like Stella and seems to just navigate social situations REALLY easily(dom Fe). he also seems to hate being disrespected or taken for granted(Si) stella does this occasionally. Timmy: ISFJ???? thats the vibe i get hear me out ok so in season 2 Timmy gets tecna the exact computer part she needs because 1. He knows they both like things to be practical(Si) 2. He knows and remembered the part she was talking about and filed it away in his brain(Ti) and 3. He and Tecna bonded over tech (Fe) Riven: honestly he’s a tough one.... Maybe a really stunted and angry ISFJ? (speaking from personal experience i am an ISFJ) i don’t have a real reason why but riven’s behavior is really confusing in the show so it makes typing tough..... possibly INTJ as well....... Helia: ISFP. Lmao I might be basing this entirely off of stereotypes but helia has a strong pacifist belief and can be moody(Fi, and more in the comics lol) is attuned to his surroundings(Se) seems pretty focused??(Ni) and i can’t think of his Te showing up be it is an inferior Nabu: ISTJ weirdly a good fit with Aisha(ESTP) tho?? even though he’s an Si dom, he doesn’t go along with the arranged marriage because its not what he believes(Fi) and he’s stubborn about it(Te). Roy: ENFJ honestly just a cutie. He’s personable(Fe), focused for the most part(Ni), and is comfortable in his environment(Se). Nex: ENTP? maybe?? He’s pretty impulsive and has that “work around” mentality I associate with ENTPs.... idk this one doesn’t seem to fit super well... Thoren: Maybe INFJ?? i mean thoren honestly doesn’t have a lot of screen time but he’s attentive(Ni), and tries to take care of people(Fe). most of the infj’s i know are fun but weird lol, but i think thoren has anxiety so that could play into him being less “out there” in his behavior. if any of yall have input on this feel free to let me know. 10. ooooooh good question. So I’m basing these on their parent’s name and the names of people from their planet. Bloom: Hestia or Enya, i also think she got sent to earth with an article of clothing or a blanket that had her name on it, which is why her name is the same lmao Stella: Stella is actually named pretty appropriately considering the other names we have are Luna, Radius, Nova, Chimera, and Casandra, all of those are fairly latin/roman based names. but she could also be called Clara, Aura, Venus etc. Musa: Her mom and dad have very asian sounding names but the princess of melody is named Galatea, so honestly anything is on the table. Aulos, Hee-Young, Jia Li, Kaida, etc. Tecna: lol everybody on Zenith has ridiculous names so im just loosely basing them off of sciencey stuff. Nobelia, Xenon, Titania. Aisha: I actually really like Aisha’s name! Ayize, Sizani, Mehrbano would work tho. Flora: what even is the naming system of Lynphea i don’t understand it. Im gonna make them vaguely naturey and European-ish?? Calla, Terra, Rowan, Willow, I could go on and on there are so many plant names. 11. Hmmm yeah, so basically in my world a person with TOO MUCH magic gets overwhelmed and kinda goes a little crazy(the ancestral witches) the same thing happens with tritannus when he gets the emperor's throne power. He’s loyal to icy and she to him until he looses his ability to think clearly and turns on icy, icy gets freaked out and leaves with her sisters when they swoop in to rescue her. they don’t so much “break up” as they are “broken up” by the circumstances. In general Tritannus does really like Icy, hes attracted to her ambition and powerful personality. Icy started out just manipulating Tritannus but caught feelings oops 12. Yeah so, humans in general can withstand a lot of wild magic as their body “metabolizes” it quickly. Kalshara(the cat lady you don’t know the name of) used extremely concentrated samples, combined with other spells to keep the wild magic in her body permanently. If a human with out a properly developed magic biome (a lot of earthians only have a low functioning one) get exposed to a wild magic source they would probably gain some aspects of fairy animals, probably not like, fur, or anything but eye and hair color changes, maybe some patterns on the skin. but there’s also the chance that they would just.... die..... cus that happens with animals too lmao sry. @weirdghostly

#winx #winx club #winxems #askems #theoretical-artist #moonpeachblossom #weirdghostly #anonymous #ask dump #this is so long im so sorry

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years ago

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I never told anybody about the reason why I never went to prom.

I always said it was because I just couldn't find somebody to go with.

The truth was, I put so pressure on my self that when I didn't accept that my body was beautiful the way it was, just because it was big.

Lumpy, and I would hear guys that I like talk about other big girls and say "she's too big" or "she had stretch marks" as if me being the almost the exact same size as them made me feel indifferent to ever being accepted by a man and/or finding a girlfriend later on.

I still feel intimidated if I see a woman I thinks beautiful, gorgeous, cute, classy, sexy....but there's no chance because I couldn't be her size in a month. It'll will take me over 2 years to lose 100 pounds.

And still build up the muscle to even look good and not have saggy skin in my arms. Because if you lose the weight too fast, it comes off fast, but now you gotta wait to grow muscle to look tight, clean firm or you gotta pay for surgery to get your arms and your tits redid to look even more perkier and firmer, because I'll be real...my tits aren't naturally perky like these instagram models who can wear tops without a bra and it looks tight, firm, poking out.

I have to build a whole lotta muscle and lose a lot of weight to get my tits to look the way I want them to. To get my legs to look strong, but not too strong like a guy's or I lose more men suitors.

Because I like attention and I like to have more suitable options to pick from. Cause lets be real, with us plus size women...its hard for us not to settle when we don't feel loved and feel competitive, like me, to get the guys to stare at your boobs because you don't have a smoking, hot, hard ass, or even nice, big perky ass that shows off your body in just the right sized t-shirt that fits you.

So many times, I've felt like I've missed out because I didn't have the right body type to be liked enough to get committed to by someone I loved or even liked. Its a misjustice to myself that I even feel surprised and so quick to rush to accommodate another person who accepts me, as I am, and they're ok with my weight or at they say they do, but I don't. Because I don't believe that I'm beautiful enough to even date a nice, sweet, guy like mike or to even date someone who is way nicer and hotter looking than Mike, because I assume skinny, white dudes (based on what I've seen) want to hookup with me, but I've never met one person yet that took me seriously when it came to dating.

And that we actually had a reciprocal, mutual feeling scenario. I've only been with 5 people sexually. The first person I fell in love with was in middle school, and this Jay person....who I probably never will, never want to (logically) speak to...hurt me to my ever most softest core of my world, so I neglect to think....

That there is somebody more special than Jay that will make me feel like that person did when they showed me affection, when they kissed me, when they held me, when they told me I was beautiful, loved everything about me..

But what I'm most scared of now is...How can I trust another human being who sees that in me, but chooses to hurt me, trick me, and even use me for just meaningless, casual sex.

When every time I wanna have sex or even kiss somebody else, I'm thinking about Jay...and Im thinking wowwww.

I must really not be over them. And then I hate myself all over again. That my heart just won't let that memory of them die. Those cherish able moments, not the bad ones, but the good ones. Why can't you see that there is plenty of more capable men, women, whoever, cause I try not to care about gender that much rn, but im sensitive around trans people, because Jay was...

But how do I know for sure, somebody won't make me feel better and make me feel sicker, all at the same time? Cause my heart has been broken by so many other timers and triers, and I'm like wow, why do people disappoint me? And why does disappointment and rejection hurt this much?

Can I be ok, when the next guy ends up not being interested?

Will I be ok, being single and alone for awhile when I finally get my driver's license and move to somewhere safer and freer. Away from my family's prejudices about who and what I do for the rest of my life?

Cause I really do want to give polyamory a try, but im just not that confident enough, because I don't feel secure in love.

And maybe I did sorta fall too fast for Teddy, maybe thats why I never felt so hurt by a man who reminded me of my father, but totally depreciated my value to hooking up with me, and sleeping with toxic people who was only out for a place to stay. He risked our commitment, for somebody who probably never even thought to buy him food when his fridge only had real milk and he was lactose intolerant. I showed more care for him, and I got lower class treatment, that girl got to move in with you and she had a dick and a butthole for you to cum on/in. That was wayyyy more important to you, than spending time with me and getting to know me. It was sex, magic cards, and money. That was all more important than me, to you.

I never wanna reduce myself to a relationship that makes me feel sexless, petty, aggressive, and provoked jealousy or settling for once a month dates. I need more contact, affection, and love than that.

And Im not a move in sex slave for you to have fun with on the weekends you gf or your wife isn't interested in sleeping with you.

Im tired of being "omg you're so hot, so beautiful" but oh, you're serious?? I dont really have time, money, or a place to fit you into my life, so let me just reschedule you as always available and objectifying me as a lustful piece of furniture always waiting on you to text me or call me, cause you're busy.

Imma start being busy too. Imma wait up on God, cause this casual, short term, not as interested in you, but ok, cool I'll date you just because you look good shit...is annoying.

I want someone better than Jay, emotionally available, healthier minded, into the same interests, doesn't mind what I do, what I say, what I sing about and doesn't call me out my name or degrade, dismiss, or bully me. I dont wanna be pushed away anymore. Work towards love, success, and commitment, and careers. Somebody with a healthy work/play/life balance. Where I dont have to feel like im settling for less time, nor any silly shit.

I'm ready God. Send me the right man who will love me right and be there for me when I feel like life is kicking me in the ass.

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fruitpunchninja101 · 7 years ago

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Perks of Coincidences Characters: Hanji Zoe x Levi Genre: Humor / Romance (AU)

Disclaimer: All characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

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A gust of frosty air blast trough every window in the city.The night was particularly calm and serene only to be interrupted by a loud explosion which pulled Nanaba out of her dreamless sleep.Swiftly,she put on her robes and rushed towards the laboratory downstairs.Upon opening the door,she found her best friend Hange crouched on the floor rocking back and forth,hands tugging on her scalp while wailing in frustration as droplets of blood and pieces of flesh slid down her face.Apparently,the pig's heart shes been experimenting on exploded while testing its limits.She approached her friend ignoring all the bits and pieces of gore splatterd on the floor and the tiled walls.Carefully,she crouched beside the brunette and placed a firm hand on her back making gentle circles to calm her down.

"You need to take a break" she whispered softly as she observed her friends face.Prominent dark circles formed underneath her eyes and dry cracked lips only meant that shes sleep deprived and dehydrated.No wonder her experiments are failing.

As if not hearing her,Hange fished a recording device from her labcoat pocket "Experiment number 65 failed"She murmured as she pushed herself off the floor.The brunette halted when she felt a quick pull on her sleeve.

"Hange!"The blonde raised her tone to snap her friend back to reality. "Nanaba?How long have you been there?" Nanaba let out and exasperated sigh while running a hand trough her scalp"fiteen minutes"she mentioned with mild reproach as she pushed herself upright.

Its the same cycle all the time.Hange losing track of time,missing meals and then the inevitable happens...something explodes.

Its been two weeks since Nanaba got enggaged,since then shes is in a perpetual worrying limbo for her friend.Hange tends to spend most of her days cooped up on her laboratory tinkering with god knows what,laughing creepily as she writes down notes.The blonde doesnt want her friend to hole up in her laboratory for the rest of her life.Her friend needed a good distraction. A new boyfriend perhaps?She asked herself as she guided the brunette to the sink stationed at the corner of the laboratory turning on the faucet and started helping her wipe the blood off her face.

"Whats up with that look?"The brunette asked her as she cleaned off her glasses.

"I need you to bring a plus 1 on my wedding day."Nanaba mentioned as she turned off the faucet.

"Sure,Ill ask Moblit if hes free."Hange inattentively replied as she pulled out paper towels from the dispenser mounted on the wall.

"No!Not your lab assitant Hange!A real plus 1...like a boyfriend or something."

The brunette simply crossed her arms in front of her chest and gave the blonde a questioning look."What this all of a sudden?"

Nanaba looked Hange dead in the eye and held both her shoulders."Hange,you need to meet new people.Once I get married you will be left alone and I worry about you." Hange can see how anxious the blonde was and she admittedly had the right reason to be.Hange knows shes not the most responsible adult especially when it comes to taking care of herself.Who has time to worry about trivial things such as showers and food when she could be saving lives by pressing on with her researches.The brunette took a deep breath.As much as she doesnt like where this conversation is going,she decided to help ease her friends concern by considering her request.

"Okay,how am I supposed to find a plus 1?"Hange replied with a soft smile.

"Oh I have a few Ideas..."

And thus began Hange's Blind date fiasco.

Its been three months since the pigs heart disaster.During that time Hange had been through six failed blind dates.Most of the guys she met run for the hills once the brunette starts talking about the morbid parts of her research.In her defense,she was never bothered by the fact that she scares people off by the aberrant details of her work.'Whats the point of spending time with someone who doesnt understand the importance of my contribution to humanity?'she recalled her usual reponse whenever Nanaba asks her to tone down her eccentricity.Shes unapologetically herself which is both her strength and weakness.

It has been three nights since Hange slept.At this point, shes literally sitting in a pile of garbage; dicarded pages from her past researches,bottles of booze,coffee and energy drink cans were disorderly spread across her floor. Suddenly,a loud thud echoed the room when the back of the door hit the wall.

"Hange what happned to you!?"Nanaba stood by the door and gave her friend distraught look.

"Hey Nanaba!"Hange sang out as she peeled her eyes off her laptop screen and gave her bestfriend a gleaming grin reasurring her that shes fine.

"Your assistant called me he said you havent left your office for three days." she mentioned with slight anguish as she desperately tried to shuffle off the mess splayed on the floor.

"Three days already?" Her eyeglasses sat slightly askew resting at the tip of her nose.Gently,Nanaba pushed them into its right place while tsking."Seriously Hange how did you become an adult?"

"Beats me."Hange chuckled as she stood up and streched her limbs for the first time in a couple of hours.She gave a sigh of relief as she heared her joints click into place and felt blood coursing trough her limbs once again.

"I brought lunch."The blonde mentioned as she settled a paper bag on Hange's desk.

"Whats the occasion?"

"Do I need an occasion to bring lunch for my bestfriend?"Nanaba responded as she walked towards the window opening it letting the sunlight slip trough the room. Despite the unquestionable concern the blonde has for her,Hange cant shake off the doubious vibe Nanabas throwing at her.She only uses the term "bestfriend" whenever she needs something. Seeing that Hange has her all figured out, Nanaba decided drop the act."Okay! okay! you caught me.You see,I set you up with Mike's friend at work."

"Not this again"the brunette said as she face palmed herself with the thought.

"You seem really hungry.Did you skip breakfast again?You look paler than before.Seriously Hange,You need to take better care of yourself from now on.Especially now that Im not gonna be around you all the time."

"Youre starting to sound like Moblit you know."Hange gulped swallowing the last of her food "Im gonna be fine.You dont need to-"

"I know youre gonna be fine,but youre still not getting out of this date.He's gonna meet you at Sina Cafe 2pm.He says hes gonna wear a black pullover sweater."

"Thats a pretty vauge description.Can't you just show me a photo of the guy?"

"No!That will ruin the surprise!I met with him last week,Hes a real sweetheart and handsome too!You're gonna love him."

"You said the same exact thing about the 6 other guys you've set me up with.None of them worked out.''

"Give this guy a chance...I have a good feeling about him"

" Whatever you say Nanabannana."The brunette tiredly responded.She knows this one is gonna be a disaster just like the other blind dates that shes been before.But shes doing this to ease her friends anxiety so shes going to try her best not to fuck this one up."Oh and by the way,I have a presentation for my research tomorrow so I might go over a few pages while Im there.You have to warn him."Hange added as she typed away from her computer.

"Can't it wait until after your date?"

"Science never waits for anyone!Besides,I'm pretty good at multi tasking."

Nanaba released a sigh of defeat.In the end,nobody can tear Hange Zoe away from her precious work.

Its 3:00pm and Hange's late for her date.So much for not fucking it up this time she thought.Clutching her satchel bag to her chest she used her right shoulder to push the cafe door open only to end up slamming against it.It took her a few seconds to realize her mistake,the door clearly says pull.Its as if the heavens are giving her a sign not to push throughthis date.A coffee shop employee opened the door and offered his hand to help her stand up."Thank you uhmm.." she pushed her glasses back to place in order to read the metal name plate pinned on the mans chest."Eren" she continued."No problem maam!"The kid smiled as he held the door open for her.Hange gave an apologetic shy smile as she entered and took in the welcoming aroma of rich coffee the cafe provided.Her eyes roamed around the place.The walls are lined with aged brick and provided fancy leather chesterfield sofas partnered with sturdy mahogany tables.Good thing the whole place practically screamed "This place is for serious adults.No whiny brats allowed".Which meant she doesnt have to deal with too much noise while working on her paper. She scanned the place looking for a guy that matched Nanaba's description.There he is,the only guy sitting alone in the whole shop.Wearing a black pullover sweater and jeans.His legs crossed while his brows were knit together,obiviously enthralled by whatever he's reading.Hange tilted her head to the side to peek on his book."Dark tower...nice"She whispered.She took a deep breath and flashed the biggest smile she can muster as she walked towards the man.

"Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?"

The raven haired man didnt repond but instead he peeled his eyes off his book and scoweld at the woman who inturrupted him.

"Lobstosities...Dark tower?"She sang out as she pointed on his book.

"I know what lobstosities are.I'm reading the fucking book."he responded matterfactly.

"Geez!You kiss your mother with that mouth captain grumpy pants?"She teased still beaming the most charming smile.

"Didnt your mother tell you thats its rude to interrupt people minding their own business?"

"Its also rude not to ask a lady to sit down...Mind if I join you?" Nonchalantly ignoring his cold response.

"Yes."He replied in a monotonous tone.Apparently,his answer had no use.Shes already pulling up a chair from the table accross them.She dragged it out across the room earning a screeching sound that obviously garnered looks from the other tables.He opened his mouth and closed it.Its not worth it he thought as he returned his gaze on his book. Hange sat infront of of him. She placed an elbow on the table and propped her chin on her palm.She stared at him waiting for him to say something about her tardiness.

"Well?"He mentioned plainly.

"Well what?"The brunette asked.

"Don't stare four eyes.Just do whatever you need to do."

Hange felt relief.It seems Nanaba warned him about her reports.Maybe,he was also forced unto this date.Either way shes glad hes cool with it.

"I wouldnt call it staring per se.Id like to call it observing.Dont be such a grump shorty I'm just analyzing if Im sitting with a nice person."

"Shorty?"He lifted his gaze from his book and stared at her one eye twitching with irritation.

"Just an observation,Averaging your eye level and shoulder height youre probably like...what?5'3?"

The man responded with a glare.Not even his closest friends dare exploit his insecurity in his face like that.

"And a half?"Hange added gingerly.But all she got was an angry stare "I'll take that as a yes!"She gave him a triumphant smile.

The raven haired man did not respond and continued glaring at the eccentric woman as she started setting up her laptop,struggling to detangle knotted cords.How was this woman able to mess up cables like that?Her efforts to straighten them out are only making her problems worse.His hands are aching to yank the cords away from her hands and detangle it himself.'Tch..pathetic'He thought.

"Now look whos staring"she mentioned without looking at him still trying to figure out how to solve her cord problem.He simply scoffed at her and got back to his book.When shes finally done wrestilng with the cords,the brunette bent to plug her laptop on the outlet on the floor and when she sat back up she hit her head under the table almost spilling the cup of tea sitting on top of it earning an exasperated sigh from the man infront of her.

Thank God shes done talking.Levi thought to himself.He started feeling relief when silence engulfed them for a while.He can finally get some peace and...nope.Shes done talking and moved on to murmuring accopanied by creepy laughter as she typed on her laptop.Levi rolled his eyes.He wasnt even reading at this point.Hes just staring on his book reading a sentence over and over desperately trying to block out everything shes mumbling.After a while,he gave up and shifted his attention from his book and glanced at her.

"Do you really need to mumble while doing that?"

"Doing what?" "Whatever it is that youre doing?"he said as he gestured to her laptop.

"Oh,this?Sorry!Its just I had this really interesting project.You see,Theres this animal that doesn't secrete feces and we are trying to figure out if it can help us improve bowel programs for paralized people or better yet,build better artificial organs." His head perked up a little.something about what she said piqued his interest and before he can even stop himself words came tumbling out of his mouth. "Theres an animal that doesnt shit?" He immeditely wanted to punch himself in the face when he saw her eyes lit up like christmas lights.'Goddamit Im supposed to shut her up not encourage her!'He internally berated himself. The raven haired man didnt hide his unwillingness to listen as the woman started explaining scientific things which he doesnt have any idea about.Still,he quipped and threw retorts to her statements every now and then. The brunette turned her laptop to him and showed him a photo.

"These babies are called Demodex Mites.They're microscopic animals that dont have anuses.They basically store their wastes inside their body till they die".

"Well thats a shitty way to live."He answered as he placed his hand on the rim of his cup took a sip of his tea.

"Wow,Is that a pun? I'd better write that one down. "she sarcastically replied as she beamed a smile. He ignored her and went back to reading. The brunette let out a small chuckle as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear dug trough her remaining paper work.

They fell in a comfortable silence after that,with occasional mumbles from Hange from time to time which at this point Levi got used to and was able to tune her out.Hange tilted her head a little to take in his facial features.Dark raven locks in a neat undercut and pale blue eyes which hid behind his dark circles.Hes definately not the sweetheart Nanaba hinted at,but his snappy comebacks and dry responses amused her.

"You are staring again."

"I just realized that never got your name.Mine's Hange...Hange Zoe." She extended her right arm.

"Levi" He mentioned plainly.Staring at her offered hand."I'm not touching that.You just said youre working with shit animals"

"Well,technically they dont deficate so..."The brunette stopped herself midsentence when Levi gave him a look which she cannot place if its confusion or annoyance.

Hange pulled her arm away chuckling."Fair enough...No last name?"

"Why do you wanna know?"

"Why nice to meet you Levi Why do you wanna know.Thats a pretty uncommon last name"

"Youre the worst."

"So I have been told...You know what,I was very skeptical walking over here a while ago since I was late and all but good thing Nanaba set this up."

"Late with what? and who's Nanaba?"Levi asked her while his eyes were still on his book.

"What do mean late with what? and how come you dont know Nanaba?"

"Four eyes,theres 7 billion people on earth.You cant expect me to know everyone of them.And I couldnt careless with whatever it is you're late for."He shifted his gaze from his book to Hange.

"What?Wait!Aren't you here for the date?"

"We're on a date?"He raised an eyebrow.

A thousand questions ran trough Hange's head. but before she can even open her mouth Levi's phone rang.He held a finger as he answered the call. "I'm on my way."Levi responded to the person on the other line.The man looked a bit disoriented as he looked at her with outmost bewilderment with what she just said. Hange heared a faint click as the call ended.

Levi took a last sip of his tea and stood up."See you around four eyes"

"Yeah,See you around shorty"Hange responded faintly almost sounding like a whisper.Watching the man fish his car keys out of his pockets and leave the cafe.

Hange was left dumbfounded as the realization dawned upon her.She sat with a random stranger on a cafe and assumed he's her date.

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Hello Everyone!

This is my very first fanfic so it will be a bit rough around the edges.I'm very hesitant to post this since I'm not much for writing but I really want to practice and learn.Hey!Nothing ventured nothing gained right?I had this story idea in my brain for almost a week now and I just have to share this with my fellow LeviHan shippers out there!I wrote this on my phone so theres probably a lot of spelling errors etc.Please bear with me.Ill definitely try to transfer the rest of the chapters on a word document next time. I'll also do my best to update this every week.(I dont promise that but I'll try my best I swear.)

Contructive critisism is very much appreciated!(Please go easy on me.)Also,I'm not a native english speaker so theres that.

Check out chapter 2 on AO3 !

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levi x hanji #levihanfanfiction #fanfiction #au

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richard-the-boy-wonder-blog · 7 years ago

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This Week on Buzzfeed

Author: JJM

Pairing: Reddie

Prompt by: @richietoaster

Rating: (no clue yet honestly)

Summary: “This is all just one big mistake” Eddie says bashfully, “really? I thought it was kind of cute” he replies pulling the straw to his drink between his lips with a smirk.

“20 places with the best bread- no uh…. 30 things that can be used as a- ugh no…” Eddie glances at his untouched plate of pizza, “15 italian cuiseans to step in- oh my god im so fired” Eddie groans and rakes his nails through his hair setting his laptop aside to stretch alittle in his criss cross pose on his bed.

His boss had given him the weeks lead project meaning come monday his article would be plastered on every social media website and could be shared world wide. Something Eddie had worked hard to earn, he usually had no problem getting fairly favorable acticles out but now his idea bank was bone dry. Perfect timing for writers block. He groans aloud as his usual work playlist starts over again for what feels like the hundreth time a crule reminder of how long hed been sitting there and how little work had gotten done. Eddie loved the classics he really did but he needed something new.

He grabbed for his phone scrolling through bands currently trending puckering his lips so to help him think and focus, something he picked up from his mom watching her paint her nails for so many years.

He sighs through his nose before giving up on his persistent scrolling and just clicking on a random band, pulling a piece of pizza to his lips standing as he took a bite.

Music filled his room a calm bass line starting the song soon followed by drums and- ’god that voice’ he thinks to himself kinda dancing in place to the music.

He knew he had heard the song before over the radio on his way to work but never paid it much mind knowing soon itd become over played and hed hate it. But now that he was listening to it on his own time it actually sounded good. Really good.

He picked up his phone looking at the bands name, ‘Mouth’ Eddie furrows his brows kinda laughing to himself, what kind of band name is Mouth?

Eddie shrugs and sits back nodding his head a little to the song pulling up the band on google as he listened along, choking when he caught a glimpse of the lead and only member on the band, Richie Toizer. His face flushes and he finds himself biting his lip looking at the man on the screen his curls are unruly, his glasses make his eyes at least three times bigger than their actual size, and hes pale for someone living in California. Hes fairly attractive for someone whos stage name is 'mouth’ he wonders why he woukd pick something so dumb to be his alias.

He goes to instagram quickly finding Richies account scrolling through it his crush growing by the second, it should be illegal for someone to be this fine. He looks to his laptop type bar blinking like its beakoning him, he looks back to Richies picture, if life was a cartoon this would be the part a lightbulb would appear above Eddie’s head he smirks to himself sitting back down pulling his laptop back into his lap taking one last bite of pizza.

'15 up and coming composers that are secretly really hot:

1) Mouth.’

And it trends, within hours almost accumulating 50k reposts just from Facebook.

When Eddie wakes up Tuesday and sees how well his article is doing he just about faints, hes stunned something he wrote, a fluff piece at that, had gotten so much attention.

He opens his notifications for twitter scrolling though noticing a large amout of them are his readers tagging Richie Toizer in the article. He throws his phone and his whole face goes red as he realizes he didnt think this all the way through.

He looks at his alarm clock and for the second time that morning feels like blacking out, he was supposed to be at work 20 minutes ago.

He really is going to get fired.

He rushes into work running past Heather at the receptionist desk who waves to him every morning, “im so sorry Heather ill bring you a bearclaw on Friday!” He yells over his shoulder, booking it up the staires to the second level where his office space resided.

He plops down in his desk chair sighing aloud as he logs onto his mac when a light tapoing comes from beside him, he looks up and smiles. “Hey Bill” he breath out still trying to catch his breath but eventually has to pull out his inhaler from a drawer, “so Mouth huh?” His friend chuckles out from above him. “Oh shut it” Eddie says half joking as he opens several of his social media accounts on his computer digging through thousands upon thousands of notes to see if Richie had responded to any of the posts hed been tagged in. “I c-cant believe you o-openly h-hit on someone in an a-a-article like that.”

“I wasnt hitting on him okay? I was just… Expressing an interest in him thats all.”

“You said he was a sexy vampire” Mike pitches in leaning against the wall of Eddies annex, “-though a local Californian resident Richie Toizer doesnt seem to get sun evident through his gorgeous pale skin. A top his black curls he has the appearance of a sexy vampire. Is what you said to be exact.”

Eddie groans rubbing his hands dowm the whole length of his face exasperated, “okay yes i called him a sexy vampire so-”

“You also pretty much admitted to wanting him in your bed.”

“Okay!” Eddie yelled pushing both his friends out of his workspace “get out get out get out! I feel bad enough i dont need you two giving me greif about this” he says his arms falling to his sides once his friends both finally step put into the hall.

“W-were celebrating tonight, d-dinner a-and a movie m-my place?” Bill asks raising his eyebrows at Eddie whos sighs and smiles before nodding as his friends walk to their own desks.

From where hes standing Eddie hears the small ’ba-ding!’ His phone sounds off when he gets a notification on twitter , he groans and picks it up nervouse that Richie will see what hes done to his good name.

'Richie Toizer @Trashmouth:

Guess my secrets out that im a vampire B) @Gazebos meet me for lunch sometime? Love to meet you ;)’

His stomach drops and all the blood in his body rushes to his face and he trips without moving, thankfully landing in his swivel chair.

A hand goes to cover his mouth completely fogetting all the germs he could potentially be there, this couldnt be real.

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A/N: this was short but im probably gonna write more chapters to make up for it. Im so sorry for any typos im writing all this on mobile. Also fun fact with the '15 italian cuiseans to step in' was inspired by the time i stepped in a lasagna youre welcome. Message me about this and enjoy! 💖

@not-reddie

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garbagemike · 5 years ago

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ok so this is gonn be incoherent and way too messy but lol u asked for it

ok listen this part

”“And what is my type then because I’m pretty sure you don’t know.”

“Short, brunette, wide smile, good humor,” Dustin started listing off traits and then paused.”

made snort out loud like. man i love that lmao i love characters making certain references or sumn and being oblivious to it and the reader just.. i see u bih i see u. its so fuckin funny and smart and funny.

and like. ok ur dialogue is so good always as it is but u also manage to write characters’ lines as very distinct and always manage to keep that nuance that the character has. like. its a little thing in theory that i dont think even matters too much if its lacking, but when its there it just makes the scenes so much better. and what i mean by this is like.. u can imagine the characters saying that thing in that exact manner. it feels true and authentic. idk if u go purposely for this but its there anyway.

”Dustin spoke up. “Wow, that’s…that’s surprisingly not as shocking as I expected it to be.””

the wording of this is. just so dustin? like. it just is him. i am seeing gaten matarazzo i my head rn, speaking these words. the same thing applies to max here. the fine line between her gentle manner and the bad bitch feisty energy of hers. they just feel so REAL. and a lot of that is thanks to the way u write dialogue, but not just that OF COURSE.

also like, “I’m gay! Like, really fucking gay and super into guys, alright?” same.

and o yea. teenagers are ugly and dumb and embarrassing and i love that u carry this element with dignity. like esp in the eighties.. they arent gonna react like ”omg yea ur gay? ☺️🌈 i love gays. i love you as you are and i will always love and respect and accept u.” AND LIKE LOL WAY Too often people write characters like that and thats like kinda off topic but people are flawed and messy and teens react with. not fucking pintrest quotes. even keeping in dustin’s ”are you sure?” is a good way to remind the reader that these in fact are reflections of actual people and not just.. perfect.. idealistic.. ideas. i likey. its about the DETAIL..

and like asfjjd lol ur so funny. jokes abt someone finding an actor attractive? Hilarious to me. im a simple man. and like mike being super embarrassed about it? Amazing Thank you.

”“Oh, this is so weird,” blurted Max and everyone turned to her with a quickness. “No, not that Mike is gay, you idiots, just that Mike and I have more in common than I thought.””

ASDFFHJJ shes amazing. but again, ur wording is brilliant. that casual insult? zero homophobia? bitchh we stanning. and just the idea of max and mike bonding over hot men? shakespeare is actually shaking, he could never imply anything as beautiful.

mike loving will? yea we been knew but shit im ccryin.

ur blog: literally dedicated to byler

me when theres byler in ur fic: *pikachu meme*

(lol wtf is this comment) (anyway)

max n mike r so tenderrr aahhhfbb i. reallu just love their dynamic in this. its a little awkward but just so soft and its CLEAR that its new to both of them. like i think thats one of the best things about ur writing too, the nuance, if thats even the appropriate word. but like. things being there and being so very real and present without ever mentioning it. like yea for sure u can detect good writing from less good writing from that, whether things have to be shoved to ur face for them to be there. in ur writing they are subtle and realistic. ITS ABOUT THE FEELING not the expreression. even though sometimes the expression is required and appropriate, and when they are, u ofc handle it well. with as much realism and .. other stuff.. my brain is dying

honestly i dont know what im talkin about anymore but mike is adorable and soft and a baby and A dumb teenage boy in love and im here for it

”He really didn’t want to get up and lose inspiration or the freedom to laze around and daydream about Will.”

imm cryuin why is he so in love. whhyyy

in conclusion this doesnt make much sense bc im tired and also like. incoherent as usual but. dis fic good. like it is sweet and sappy but in the best teenage way. ITS ABOUT THE BALANCE and youve got it. damn youve got it

DO IT ANYWAY IMPART YOUR THOUGHTS I WANT THEMMMMM @garbagemike

#no joke my ao3 comments are like this but longer and worse #and like with. constructive comments but now im just a dumb gay

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alphysmd · 8 years ago

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HERE IT COMES!! A POST WHERE I RAMBLE ON ABOUT CARTOONS??? ARE YOU EXCITED???

seriously though, under the cut i ramble about cartoons in a post that took me like an hour to type up, i didnt proofread any of it, thats my warning

ok but seriously. lets talk cartoons. there is a a lot that’s been on my mind as of late, i think we are on the changing tides of cartoons and we can be in for a great couple year of toons or we might hit another...dry spell.....

let me start with Cartoon Network, since they seem to be cleaning house over at their network, Regular Show is over, Adventure Time has little less than a year, i forget the exact amount that is left, like 40? at the upfront that just happened it sounded like ANOTHER mini series was about to come out, picking up right where Islands left off, which makes me wonder what is left of the show? is the rest of the episodes just going to be plot based? or do we have some one-offs and goofy adventures left? im not sure what i want but i’m really hoping for the best possible ending for the show and im crossing my fingers the theatrical movie is still coming out! i would really love to see one final adventure on the big screen, cartoon network hasn’t done a film since Powerpuff Girls, (well, i don’t think the Aqua Teen movie counts, i think that’s considered a Williams Street film), and I think theatrical cartoons like that are just like a thing of the past and it makes me sad. that being said, it’s been confirmed that Clarence is on it’s final batch of episodes, a show that i fucking adore and i feel never really got a chance to shine. i know so many people refused to watch the show after what happened with the creator and it was sad because Clarence is such a pure hearted kids show, it’s filled with really lovable character and i just think it sums up what it means to be a kid so damn well. I’m really glad it got as many episodes as it did (looks like it will probably have just over 100 when it ends!) but i’m really sad to see it go because there hasn’t been a show like this in a real long time. with everything besides We Bare Bears (a show i never got a chance to get into), Gumball (a show i fell off years back for no real reason) , Steven Universe and Teen Titans Go ending, I wonder what direction they are gonna head in? I wonder if CN is going to fall into fan pressure and cancel SU? I mean I still love the show to death and think most of the criticism is bat-shit insane but I wonder with the cancellation of the two shows (adventure time and regular show) that brought CN back into a golden age if they are gonna kill the only other show that has close to the size of the fanbase either of those shows did? i mean i say this because CN is still pushing TTG as the best show on their network, and don’t get me wrong if you are a fan of that show, but it’s really not fair that it takes up like 85% of the networks air time. i hope CN sticks with SU because i think it has a lot of steam left in it (i thought the same with AT, RS and Clarence but I DIGRESS), and i think such a positive show like that deserves to be on the air more often.

on the Adult Swim side, things seem to be picking up. Samurai Jack’s new season is beyond incredible and for me is setting a new standard of what adult cartoons can be? i mean we see action shows from japan all the time but there hasn’t been anything this adult and this well put together from western animation in ages. I’m hoping that Adult Swim/Toonami starts pushing for new series like this, and it seems like they might, with those new FLCL episodes coming out in the near future. it’s also pretty obvious now that Rick and Morty is Adult Swim’s new flagship series, and I’m gonna be pretty shocked if that gets the axe anytime soon. Based on Season 3′s first episode, i think the show is still going to be pretty great, i was a bit worried about it because it seemed like from interviews that Justin and Dan were arguing a bunch and trying to make it the best they possibly could. I hope they can continue to go on weird adventures and try out new things, and based on the final several mins of the new episode it looks like things are changing, and maybe even getting a lot darker, which i’m all for! i’m still sad that Aqua Teen got canceled because they still have not found a proper replacement for that classic Adult Swim absurdity. i think the closest they have come was Mike Tyson Mysteries, right down to that old school Hanna Barbara style, it felt like they almost from the ground up made one of those “recycled properties” shows that Adult Swim was filled with in the early days. if you are a fan of the real absurd, that real classic contrived plots that filled shows like Aqua Teen or Sealab, check out Mike Tyson Mysteries because it makes me laugh my ass off. i guess the other night (UNLESS IT WAS A PRANK) they said season 3 of Mike Tyson was coming in May, but they also announced that Hot Streets and Apollo Gauntlet were picked up for series which is great because those are more in the realm of weird cartoons that Adult Swim is known for. (PLUS while it’s not FULLY a cartoon Dream Corp LLC is getting a new season which is GREAT because i think that show really finally became it’s own in the final few episodes!)

the other big news concerns this piece of news about Nick ( http://deadline.com/2017/03/spongebob-loud-house-sherlock-gnomes-1202054433/ ) it seems like Nick is about to go all in on theatrical cartoons again which im HYPED for. I’m really shocked that The Loud House is getting a movie but i’m really excited because I thought I was the only one who was really enjoying that show. You can never know how a show is doing on Nick since all they play is Spongebob reruns and that’s why shows like Harvey Beaks got killed so early on. While I never watched Harvey Beaks, I honestly saw no promotion for it from Nick and when it died I thought a similar thing was going to come for Loud House. I hope these Nick Movies go well because I want to see more feature cartoons from big companies like Nick, maybe this will give Cartoon Network the nudge to get in on the big screen game too. But with the Loud House movie in the works, I’m CROSSING my fingers it’s in the vein of something like A Goofy Movie, you never see those classic cozy road trip cartoon movies anymore, it always has to be some big loud SAVE THE TOWN/WORLD like story, i would love to see more down to earth things and I think with The Loud House it might be a perfect fit. I feel like I should note that the article lists that two UNNAMED NICKTOONS are getting feature films as well, and I may be spitballing or dreaming big here but remember a few months back when CH Greenblatt said that Jhonen Vasquez was working on an Invader Zim movie with Nick and then promptly removed the post about it? i mean i was just thinking that he spoke too soon and it was going to be like the Hey Arnold TV movie that’s happening this year or that Rocko’s Modern Life TV movie (1 hour special as i see it being referred in some places) but WHAT IF, i mean hear me out, Nick is really going to go all out and do an Invader Zim theatrical film. I mean....fuck. I would die. I would straight up die.

OK THAT’S ALL THE CARTOON TALK I GOT IN ME FOR NOW, I WAS JUST GOING TO MAKE A FEW TWEETS AND CALL IT A NIGHT BUT I COULDNT SO SORRY FOR A LONG POST NO ONE WILL READ OR CARE ABOUT but if you do read all of this and want to respond please do i love talking cartoons like the big idiot i am, and i’ll probably respond and write even more about cartoons, thanks bye.

#eli talks about cartoons for way too long

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minglermail · 8 years ago

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★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ HAVE FUN

WOWZA thats a lot of oc facts

1. Fiver is RIDICULOUSLY good at math, literally all kinds. She usually does the cog HP math for any of her friends & teammates, especially when it comes to carryover damage.

2. Speaking of that, Fiver is a member of an ongoing research project involving trying to figure out why the cog HP formula appears to stop applying once a cog is level 12 (because otherwise level 12′s would have 182 HP instead of 200). Additionally, the project is trying to figure out the exact HP and attack power of cogs that are above lvl 12. They don’t have too many leads yet since lvl 13 and above cogs are a rare sight in Toontown, but they’re theorizing that after level 12 the Cog HP increases depending on the cog type, since the CEO has around 500-600 HP while the CFO has around 400-450.

3. Mike O. Mallard has a shrine dedicated to David Byrne.

4. Toonpupless has a cog he’s built from scratch in his garage! Supposedly it’s very aggressive and horrifying to look at, but Toonpupless loves them.

5. Although Fiver despises cogs, she’s actually had the most interactions with my cog ocs out of any of my main toon ocs.

6. Miss M decorates her office with pictures of bunny toons! Most of the pictures are pictures of bunny toons that tried to take over her factory, but a few of them are clippings from wanted posters.

7. Feline Freaky and Feline Fine usually force other toons to help them with buildings and stuff, the two of them are pretty unpopular and disliked for this reason. Feline Freaky doesn’t care though, even if they’re unpopular most toons have a hard time saying no to her scary 8 foot tall friend Feline Fine.

8. Despite being a Literal Hitman, Moxie is actually really peaceful and nonviolent as long as the CEO doesn’t ask them to deal with you. Moxie deals with both toons and cogs, and is able to permanently get rid of toons by using Paint Remover. Thankfully for toons, the stuff is really hard for cogs to come by and only extremely high level cogs can get the clearance to use it. So yeah just don’t do anything extreme to piss off the CEO and you’ll be good I think?

9. Before Charlotte got demoted (when she was a CEO instead of a flunky) she was really infamous for being overly cruel and temperamental, and resulted in tons of cogs getting fired and demoted for no good reason.

10. Mike O. Mallard used to have an older sister, but she went missing in a CJ 13 years ago, and the O. Mallard family basically considers her dead. Her disappearance was part of the reason he decided to permanently be an Uber, since he became too terrified of the other cog bosses to want to deal with them (after all, toons get rescued from VPs all the time)

WHEW LAD,,, FINALLY

#toonblr #pom barks #my art #asks #junkencat #long post #text heavy #death tw kind of 123981023 #poms oc dev

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athena29stone · 7 years ago

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4 Geeky Gifts for Teachers

Leslie Fisher on episode 198 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Leslie Fisher, a favorite geek of many teachers, has some cool gift ideas for teachers (or your favorite geek.) I hope you get some ideas for your favorite teacher-geek.

Today’s Sponsor: Bloomz is the tool I chose for parent/teacher communication. To find out why read www.coolcatteacher.com/bloomz or go to bloomz.com to get started setting up your school or classroom now! December and January are great months to roll out Bloomz with your parents, so you can start 2018 strong.

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Four Geeky Gifts for Teachers

Link to show: www.coolcatteacher.com/e198 Date: Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Vicki: What are some geeky cool gifts for teachers?

Today we have one of my favorite presenters, Leslie Fisher @lesliefisher.

Now, I started blogging eleven years ago, maybe it was more. We’re getting close to that twelve year mark because I started on December 3rd. But before I was blogging at all, I was attending sessions with Leslie Fisher.

She has really been one of my “go to” people at conferences — at the GAETC conference and at conferences around the world — for really, my whole ed tech career. I’m not saying that, Leslie, to make you feel older than you look (laughs) but it’s just to say that I appreciate how you keep up with all of this. I don’t know!

So thanks for being on the show. And what kind of geeky gifts should we get for teachers this Christmas?

Leslie: Well, first of all, thank you for your kind words. I wish you could see my smile, beaming from one edge of the room to the others, because I also want to say thank you for what you do. I think we’ve been bitten with a passion to try to help teachers and make their classrooms more fun and engaging, and make their time more fun, so… thank you for what you do as well. I appreciate it.

Idea #1: Osmo

Yeah! Gadgets? I absolutely love gadgets. I’m a gadget head. If they can make my life easier, make it more streamlined, wonderful. And if I can do that for an educator, that is great.

If you told me that I could only buy one gadget for an educator, I would say it would be an Osmo. I absolutely love the product. It uses an iPhone. That’s a new feature. So if people didn’t know that, there’s now an iPhone base. Or it uses an iPad. It’s tactile learning combined with technology.

So I might have an app — for example — one called Tangam, where you run the app. It displays something on the iPad, and then you use building blocks to recreate what you’re looking at on the iPad.

There’s a Words game where you see a picture and you have to try to figure out what that word is. You use little blocks. You sit there and you toss it around. The iPad is getting it’s content from a little device that you put on top of the iPad that has a mirror. That mirror then points straight down, and it recognizes whatever the heck is being placed on the table in front of the iPad.

They have I think eight different games that are out, and they’re learning games. They’re fantastic, and it’s good quality stuff. So if you told me I had to get one thing for a classroom, I would say Osmo. Then the teacher could easily buy eight or nine things within that space.

Even me — with my wine friends when I’m having a wine dinner — we’ll always end up playing some sort of Osmo game because they can be a lot of fun. So… Osmo.

Vicki: Yeah. That can be used for any age. OK, what else?

Idea #2: QBall

Leslie: The other one I’m really excited about is the QBall. This has been out and available for a year. That is a throwable microphone.

What’s so neat about this is, that I first thought about it in an auditorium setting. Imagine in an auditorium where usually you would have to pass a microphone around, or the kids would have to get up in line, you know, in front of a mike to ask a question.

This is a throwable dodgeball, almost like, that has a microphone in it. It can work in anything from classroom speakers all the way up to P.A. systems. You can have more than one in an auditorium.

What’s really neat is that Shane Cox, the creator of the QBall, was just on Shark Tank. He actually got funded by three Sharks, which I thought was great. But the one thing he said — and I always love getting educated. It’s one thing to teach, but it’s another thing to love to learn. He was going into the report of a lot of times students don’t like to speak up, even in a classroom.

What he’s finding with the QBall is that that one kid — who might have that little voice and is scared to speak up — can now use that QBall to speak, and it goes through the teacher’s speakers on their computer. That kid has a loud voice within that class. I just think that’s absolutely awesome.

Vicki: It’s so fantastic. I’ve never even heard of it. I’m actually looking it up as we’re recording this. All of these things will be in the Shownotes because I can’t even imagine all the things that we could do with this. That’s what we need!

Leslie: It’s interesting. You should go and watch this episode of Shark Tank. I don’t usually watch Shark Tank — sorry, Sharks — but someone said that a lot of times they don’t fund educational items because their knowledge is not in education. I get that.

In the beginning, they were kind of poo-pooing until one of the Sharks said, “Hold on. Could I use this with my intercom system?”

And Shane’s like, “Of course you can.”

“Hold on. So instead of me shuffling around in the meeting room, I can just toss this ball, and someone can talk.?”

And he’s like, “Yeah.”

And then all of them started jumping in on this. So you’re right. The uses that this thing has is great.

The other thing is that Shane used to be a classroom teacher. So he is coming at it from the idea of knowing what it’s like to be in a classroom, and kind of like what we were talking about in the beginning, he’s dedicated to educators. He just wants to see educators thrive, and then hence the students that they teach thrive.

How can you not be smitten with that?

Vicki: How fun! Two great ideas! You got any more?

Leslie: Oh! Of course I do!

Vicki: (laughs)

Idea #3: LiveScribe Pen

Leslie: The other thing that I would say — and this is one that would be more for a teacher, or maybe for high school students.

I’ve been showing this a lot in the past few weeks, and I think one of the things that we tend to do is we tend to look at a technology that we’ve been using for a few years and assume that everyone knows about it. I’m trying to do a better job of going back and revisiting certain technologies that I use all the time, and maybe a teacher or student doesn’t know.

I use a pen called the Livescribe Pen. There are two versions. On is Bluetooth-based and app-based, and the other one is not. But it is a pen — if you use the Bluetooth version — that will automatically hook into your iOS or Android device.

You use their paper. Their paper is almost on par price with regular paper. When you start writing with the pen, it automatically then downloads that note to your iOS or Android device.

Even cooler — and the big reason I use it — is that you can synchronize recording audio to the notes you write.

So for someone like me who’s a fast talker, you could record me. Then all of a sudden, if I started getting ahead of your note-taking, you could put maybe a little asterisk or something? And it saves as a pencast. And it changes the color of the note on the iPad.

Then all you have to do is type on those words, and you will hear exactly what was being said when that person was saying something. So you never miss a word.

Vicki: That is so important for kids. I recommend this for a lot of kids who have special needs, who struggle with taking notes, but they need to have something.

And to put that symbol, like you said, or that item of “The teacher says this is important.” Write a little star, or write the letter “I” and then record. And then you can play those back when you’re studying.

Leslie: Right. And then I don’t know if you know about this feature. This thing’s pretty cool. This isn’t a gadget in terms of buying anything, but it’s a free gadget, and when I discovered it, my jaw dropped.

Google Keep got a big old update this summer, and one of the things the update got in the mobile version, is if you click on the microphone and start talking, Google Keep will do Voice Dictation.

Not only will it do Voice Dictation, it will then save the audio file. So even if it heard something incorrectly, you still have the exact words as they were being said in that meeting or that classroom.

And of course you have a camera feature so you could always take a picture of the whiteboard or the SMARTboard. This thing is awesome. I keep using it when I need to capture something or whatnot.

I wouldn’t say it should replace notes, because I’m sure you’ve talked many times about how writing notes will add to the retention of what you learn. But man, what a great thing that if you’re caught, having those notes be transcribed.

I was doing professional development yesterday, and a teacher mentioned how great this would be for their English as a Second Language, where that student could record, and then even stick that in Google Translate, see the recording, and then hear the audio file, so they could hear how those words were pronounced versus not. I just think it’s awesome.

Vicki: This is part of a term called “transliteracy,” which is to be literate in multiple media and to be able to move from a variety of media.

OK. We have time for one more, Leslie.

Leslie: (laughs)

Idea #4: A Home Assistant like Google Home or Amazon Alexa

Well, if I can put kind of a … well, it’s part education, part non-education. I would say some sort of home assistant. They could even be used in the classroom. For example, looking at getting a Google Home, or an Amazon Alexa.

You know, Adam Bellow, who’s a friend of both of ours, tells a really great story about his son, who will go up to the Alexa and just ask the most random questions of it, and get answers. One of the things the Alexa does is let you review what has been asked of it. He says he gets great joy and curiosity in going into his Alexa app and seeing what the heck his son asked it.

I keep thinking for a classroom, how fun would that be to have a virtual assistant to see how that assistant does? You know, when we get down to it, education is education. When we get down to it, we know those things aren’t always right. That’s just a perfect place for that educator to shine.

Vicki: I will link to some shows we’ve done. First and second and third grade teachers are going crazy over having the Echo Dot in the classroom, because if you can imagine instead of the kids saying, “Ms. Fisher, what’s 1 + 3?” or “How do you spell ‘citizen’?” You ask Alexa.

Amazon Alexa in the Classroom episode 108 with Bill Selak

Leslie: Yep.

Vicki: You can even change Alexa’s name. There is a setting that lets you do that in case you have an Alexa. So she can keep her name, and the Echo Dot can get a new one.

(laughs)

Leslie: That’s awesome. You see? Here’s what I love. You just taught me something new, because I’ve only had that in my life. I’ve only had my Amazon Alexa for maybe a month or so, so I’m learning as well. I love that feature, and I love hearing that.

One of the sessions I’m thinking about adding to my offerings is, you know, the difference between the Echo, the Google Home, what’s going to be the Home Pod in Siri. How do they differ? How can they work in the classroom?

I really think, once again, this is where we’re heading. We’re heading to these assistants, these digital assistants. If we can get our students more used to it, it gets to what I would say my goal is — to make all of this a glorified pencil. When we don’t call it technology, when it’s just simply the process. I think we’ve all made people’s lives a little bit easier and better.

Vicki: We all have a way to add Artificial Intelligence to be our assistant. I have a way to automate things and let them be my teacher’s assistant.

Leslie: Yep.

Vicki: And students have a way to automate things and make them learning assistants for them. I think our intelligence is in finding these devices and using them.

We’ve got a lot of great devices here, so thank you, Leslie, and we’ll link to all these in the Shownotes. Such great ideas!

Leslie: My pleasure.

Awesome! And then before we end, remember, it’s IFTTT.com is a great way to take all of these intelligent assistants and make them even smarter.

Vicki: Love it!

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

[email protected]

Leslie Fisher: Bio as submitted

Leslie Fisher has been keynoting, feature speaking and providing professional development solutions for educators all over the world for 20+ years. Leslie specializes in easy to use, effective and affordable technology that can be utilized in your classroom right away.

Blog: Leslie Fisher

Twitter: @lesliefisher

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post 4 Geeky Gifts for Teachers appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

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