#and thats not good either! i know that I cant be this avoidant but fuck i can't shove it down either

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)

[rememberedbyamark]

Did anyone want to tell me that the talking phase of dating feels like 5d chess, and a bunch of tiny knives, and causes stress induced illness????

[skinnymeanfaggot]

also

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

sitting in bed eating cheese absolutely stewing

[ivysprophecy]

please please please

word count; 1644

summary; turning off your phone and shutting out the world isnt the best way to handle your problems but its what you do. and jjs had enough of it.

warnings; i dont think there is any? mentions of anxiety attacks? tagging @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

masterlist

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divider by @bernardsbendystraws

"well hey there stranger"

i turn from my book to look behind me, seeing the boy id been actively avoiding for the past two days. carrying his surf board.

i shouldve remembered he'd come here to surf. i just wouldn't have guessed this early in the morning.

"hey jayj."

"oh thats all i get? 'hey'? no 'i miss you so much'?" he sets his board in the sand taking a seat next to me on my blanket.

guess im not finishing my book today. "oh my god jj! youre here! ive been dyingggg to talk to you! i cant believe youre really in here in the flesh! there. better?"

"oh dont be like that- cmon mama whatd i do?" i feel bad with the genuine concern on his face.

okay was ghosting him out of nowhere awful of me? probably. i just didnt know what else to do.

after that night at the bonfire i realized that with my feelings for him growing it wasnt a good idea for us to continue our casual... something. it played with both our emotions. it isnt fair to either of us.

especially after his 'i love you'. that really did it in for me.

"you didnt do anything jj. trust. i just... ive been in a funk. needed some me time thats all."

"well... do you still need your 'me time'?" he looked so hopeful. how could i say yes? where jj maybank is concerned ill easily fold every time. "cause you havent answered my texts so i couldn't ask you to surf with me this morning."

"... i dont have my board. but i suppose i can hang out with you for a little while."

"im honored," he smiles laying back on his elbows, "but really. are you good? i like to think i know you pretty well and this whole MIA thing was not normal."

turning to face him more, i sigh, what the fuck am i supposed to say? 'yea im just so in love with you i cant be around you' yea that would go over really well.

"i dont know. just gotta lot of stuff goin on. you dont have to worry though. im good."

"well do ya wanna talk about it?"

"trust me jay you dont wanna hear about my problems. theyre trivial at best."

"what are friends for if not for listening?" he nudges me with his shoulder urging me to talk. i really dont think i can do this. i was not prepared.

"youre not a very good listener," i point out, to which he immediately takes faux offense. jaw dropped and everything.

"oh thats just not true! i can listen!"

i run a hand through my tangled hair in frustration. this cannot be how i tell him. it just cant. i came here to get away from thinking about this and now hes right here in front of me acting so unserious while im spiraling.

"jj i really appreciate how eager you are to help me but its really not necessary. i didnt really prepare myself and its just too much-"

"prepare yourself? mama what the fuck are you talking about? does this have to do with that night after the bonfire? i mean obviously it does who am i kidding you havent talked to me since then. did i do something wrong? was- was it bad?" he leans in closer, lowering his voice thats laced with worry and guilt.

oh my god that is the absolute last thing i expected him to say. shit i really fucked this up. and honestly just not true.

"what? no! no jj you didnt do anything wrong and it was perfect. promise," i try to reassure him but i know deep down hes gonna over think this whole thing if i dont tell him straight up

i may love him but i never said he was the brightest in the bunch.

"okay so whats the problem?"

"the problem is that it was perfect," i cant help but let out a sigh before hiding my face in my hands as the words leave my mouth.

god my heart is racing, im not ready for this conversation. maybe if i pass out i wont have to. yea if he has to call an ambulance then we can avoid this all together. but an ambulance is also like five grand so...

shit.

"... youre mad at me because you had a good time?" his face contorted in a weird fixture of confusion.

"no! no- god youre so dense sometimes!"

"mama i dont have a fucking clue what youre saying! how does that make me stupid??"

i hide my face in my hands again trying to compose myself because what the fuck kind of confession is this?

"jj im avoiding you because ive been developing feelings for you and i cannot in good conscience keep being so casual with you and sleeping with you knowing this and i know that you do not want anything serious so i figured id just make it easier for the both of us and just take myself out of the situation entirely so that nothing bad happens and i cannot stop fucking talking so please for the love of god say something or do something because i feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest and-"

oh my god im getting my book moment. he just kissed me to make me stop talking!!! oh my god hes kissing me.

is this where i kiss him back?

of course i kiss him back!! what the fuck!!? and oh my lord does it feel nice, so so so nice.

the way his tongue presses against mine, the way he cups my jaw and pulls me close to him. it was slow and confident and loving and everything he knows i like. his hands find my hips like muscle memory, pulling our bodies together, eventually having me on his lap. where he takes my hands and places them on his chest so i can feel his chest rise and fall with deep breaths.

“… mama you need to learn to breathe.”

“that’s not funny right now jj. im actively having an anxiety attack, horrible thing to say really."

"what're you so anxious about? i think we're havin' a pretty calm conversation, dont you?"

"i mean yea- but thats not-" he interrupts me while shaking his head with a shrug.

"listen, i get why youre a little nervous to say that, all things considered. but i thought it was pretty obvious i was into you, i just didnt wanna push you because you made your boundaries clear so i just took what i could get."

my eyes bug out of my head in shock. am i the dense one? i mean yea hes a really good kisser and i can feel he cares deeply about me when we do stuff and makes me feel safe and supported but that doesnt mean-

yea im stupid. he all but outright said it. actually he has. thats what started this panic.

"... okay yea- maybe. but you agreed they were a good idea so i figured that meant you wanted them there too. and i dont know- it just kind of got overwhelming and i didnt wanna be one of those girls who expects something huge after sex so... you know what i mean? and truthfully youre not what i expected for me."

"what does that mean?" his face showed a little offense.

"i just mean- ya know. for one i didnt expect to love my best friend. and then on top of that i didnt think id love a guy who was a treasure hunting, or- adrenaline junkie i should say."

he leans back putting some space between us, "is that supposed to be a bad thing?

"no! no jay im not saying this right- i-... youre a fighter and youre adventurous- a lot of things im not. if that makes sense. all im sayin is a few years ago i wouldnt have expected to be here. but i like it here. love it here even," i smile at him teasingly trying to ease his worries. the last thing i need is to say the wrong thing right now.

"so what youre saying is that you love me?"

"youre such an idiot."

'but do ya? because i think you do mama."

i roll my eyes chuckling, "yea. yea i do maybank," i press a small kiss to his cheek leaning back into him.

"does this mean youll let me make you a maybank mama?" his eyebrow was quirked up as he teases his question.

"lets not get ahead of ourselves. how about we take this slow?"

he looks down at my button up shirt i was wearing over my bikini to shield me from the ocean breeze, and i could tell he was debating taking it off of me. giving me that same look he always does.

"slow? mama i dont think we're gonna be too good at that."

"all 'm sayin is we dont have to jump the gun, we both admitted it, doesnt mean we gotta change the way we act or announce it or nothing. we can just enjoy this ourselves ya know?"

"you embarrassed of me mama?"

"not at all baby, just want you all to myself. is that too much to ask for?"

he shakes his head leaning up against me, our faces inches apart, "nah i dont think so. i like the sound of that."

i meet him the rest of the way pressing his lips to mine, smiling into it. pulling him as close as humanly possible. i need him under mind skin, in my blood, you know?

"i do too, so we agree? we'll keep this between us for now?"

"whatever you want mama. yes maam."

[astuteology]

Some more observo🫶🏻

If a SCORPIO starts liking you, he/she will ask for your pictures. Not "those" pictures. Your bare faced one. Ik that's kinda scary. But they love anything raw and bare. 🥹🫶🏻

Speaking of scorpios, DO NOT under any circumstances, LIE TO THEM. Please🛐. They'll know it. And if you happen to like a scorpio, and you show them your best, show them what YOU think they'll like, No don't do it. BE RAW, BE REAL, TAKE YOUR STAND IF SOMEONE HUMILIATES YOU, etc. Just be real, that's all they ask. They will love your dark side as well.

Lilith in the 4th, might have been suppressed or humiliated in their home for expressing themselves. Their emotions weren't valid. Their parents made them feel guilty for even enjoying little things🥺. Which is why they usually leave their home and never come back.🙃

If you have aquarius moon, or a friend/someone close, with an aquarius moon, TAKE CARE OF THEM😡. They don't show emotions. They really don't. It's not that they're embarrassed, it's like, so many times when they tried, they were either made fun of (got comments like "omg you feel that way???🤣 thats so childish 🤣) or they were unheard. Alot of the times. 😔💔

Also- no matter the placement or sign or planet or whatever. If one is insecure and doesn't love themselves, they won't be in their form(the placements and planets in their chart) like for example- if someone is Capricorn sun, and had a very rough childhood, were neglected, treated badly. If they dont heal themselves, they won't be like how Capricorn is. They'll start playing mind games, will seek attention, validation, might make their friends to only talk to them. Same goes for Capricorn moons, though they have tendency to be a major narcissistic person if they don't heal themselves.

Having mars in scorpio/ 8°/ 20°, very heighten intuition. They usually avoid fights, because they can 🔪⚰️. Don't make them mad, you won't like it :). Don't lie to them. Be straightforward, even if you did something horrible. HOWEVER..... if you do then wrong........🌚🌚🌚🌚 good luck gaining their trust back🫶🏻

If you have a Capricorn friend (cap sun, moon, mercury, venus, Mars, rising, pluto) don't do them wrong. EVER. istg you'll regret it. They have this aura with them and the energy they carry, you won't get it again. I promise you that. 🚫😊

Whatever sign you have in your 7th house (tropical), you are more likely to love them. You will FEEL something for them. Like when people say "oh i cant fall in love, idk what love is" just wait until you meet that sign that is in your 7th. Especially with mars and venus, it grows even more. 😋💕

Someone's sun in your 8th, no no. Don't. They'll hurt you eventually. You will FEEL something inexplicable when you first meet them, but with time, you'll see all the red flags and their dark side. You'll end up hating them.

The sign you have in your 12th house- (if using tropical- you'll like them, but eventually end up getting irritated by them, only if it's very prominent energy like sun. (If using sidereal) you'll hate them. For example, you're an aries rising, you'll hate pisces suns, cause that's in your 12th (sidereal), if taurus rising (tropical), you'll be irritated with aries sun. But will still somehow endure their energy. ☺️(🤢)

Speaking of 12th house, be VERY VERY CAREFUL when someone's planets, doesn't matter inner or outer, majority of the times, they fuck you up mentally. Because of them you'll start having trust issues with everybody. BASTARDS💩

The moon on the day you were born on, you are kinda connected to it. It grounds you, calms you down. Your emotions are stable. Like for example- born on a waxing crescent moon, you'll feel very comfortable and safe under it. 🌛💕

Libra placements are not flakey😭😭😭, they just have this side to them where they can't seem to turn people down. Believe me they feel bad and awful when they say no💔. Because of this soft and innocent side, they usually become a doormat for people🥺. So if a libra placement rejects you, THEY FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. they'll start feeling awful within 5 mins.🥺

For my dear GEMINI MOONS, the moment you start feeling anxious about some person, leave them. Don't give it a 2nd thought, just leave. Let's say your love interest is making you feel confused, he/she is telling you that they only talk to you and shit and you see a story of them with someone else, or catch them with someone else , IF YOU FEEL IT IN YOU STOMACH, ITS REAL, THEY'RE FUCKING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS😀😀. Don't make anyone make you feel like shit. ( I recommend to smack the shit out of them or go ahead just stab them 🫶🏻 I'm with you)

Also if you're a gemini moon, and into crystals too, wear a labradorite/ rose quardz or Tigers eye. They stabilize your emotions. Don't forget to clean and charge them.

LEOS LEOS LEOSSSSSS, always give princess treatment to their close ones, their friends, their lovers, their family 🥹❤️. They're very energetic and chaotic😭💕 trust me you'll like them even if you prefer silence or quietness. (That's for the prominent Leo placements, or Leo stellium)

Sagittarius + libra placements- number 1 flirtersssssss😙 BUT but but... when they fall for someone, they forget their flirting skills, and are devoted to their love only. 🫶🏻 same goes for scorpio + libra placements.

There's a misconception about scorpios being toxic, manipulative, jealous, and controlling. They're not like that. They usually have abandonment issues, weird attachments styles where they either become anxious or avoidant. And usually it is both, first they avoid, then become anxious or vice versa. They NEED reassurance. They just wanna know you ain't playing with them🥺. That's when their jealousy and other things comes' at play. They control, so they don't get hurt. They feel veryyýýyyyyyyy deeply🥺❤️‍🔥 but if you make them feel loved, supported, validate their emotions and understand them. You'll notice, all this jealousy and controlling thing will disappear. They're ride or die fr🫶🏻🫶🏻

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Thank you <3 😋🤪😍🤤💕❤️😙

[autisticlalna]

don’t have the braincells to do anything with this, so i figure i could just throw this out there for, like. the five people who’d know what this is.

anyway: sbk shadow people au 👀?

YOU HAVE GIVEN ME INFINITE POWER

a quick recap of what Shadow People AU is: alternate universe where 1.15, on top of everythin else it Actually added, included a poorly-documented new mechanic where you could summon a black-and-yellow shadow copy of yourself. if you killed your shadow you would get a copy of everything you had in your inventory when you summoned it, but it would also be stronger with each death. if a shadow dies enough times, they can evolve to the point of being able to strategize, to build, and to communicate. oops! theyre self-aware!

there's a lot more to it than that, but ill explain as we go. because my favorite thing to do ever is apply this concept to different mcyt series and explore what might happen, and ive been toying with makin a variant for sbk. SO LETS GOOOOOOO

Viking would use his shadow to dupe materials and as an extra hand when buildin farms, so his shadow would develop to be more work-focused i think. zeroes in hard on a task and will not give up until its done. leave him alone he's got Shit To Do. either Viking gives him a cool mythology name, he continues the season nicknamin scheme to match Summertime, or Avid calls him somethin dumb and it sticks.

Vintage gets Antique. bottom text. i can actually just point at Antique as-is and go "yeah that's her shadow" LMAO. recolor the colored bits yellow and give her her eyes back and Antique is good to go. fun fact: the only* thing that can kill a shadow is their summoner or another shadow. run.

(* theres more than that but this post is already pretty long. spau is Big.)

Ruby is probably where we first run into the idea of "entity corruption", because god knows whats going on with Cherruby. basically if you've gotten corrupted by an entity in any way (eg Scar and Cub havin Vex magic, Watcher Grian, Karl Jacobs gettin put in the time travel blender), that bleeds over to your shadow and can cause... problems. i have a lot of thoughts about how this applies to TSMP specifically, but im squintin at Cherruby going what is your deal because there is SOMETHING messin with zhem and whatever it is is gonna mess with xis shadow too.

Avid would not risk havin a shadow. the most obvious reason is bc his shadow would be Super corrupted bc of basically everythin that happened in Nightmares, but the actual reason is that it would look like Avoid and that would freak Avid out too much :,D

rose suggested Marmalade would have the Old Shadows and OOGHGHHHHH FUCK . that goes hard. basically there's an associated dimension called the Shadowlands, and you can royally screw up your shadow's data by goin there before theyve finished forming for the first time. the outcome is a maxed-out shadow with a god complex that is capable of whatever you think its capable of. Marm might've drawn a connection between the Shadowlands and the Void, tried to use it as another way to get down to the Limbo border when the Void wasn't lettin her in, and instead got the Abyss equivalent. probably just named Void because of initially assuming theyre an extension of the Void itself.

Trog would be the runner-up for the Old Shadows, i think, but also they probably thought about it and went "nah" and forgot to warn anyone else that thats a thing. continues the trend with my Trog hcs of lookin perfectly normal and Not Being Normal At All. not entity corruption, just, like. corruption corruption. somethin broke here.

wait lmao i just realized something really funny and its that Fool's shadow would literally just look like him but all shadow-y. bc Fool already normally has the yellow/gold cracks. solar probably will have more ideas on what to do with this guy but i am proudly announcing that it is now Two Of Them Thursday

i cant decide if Leon's shadow shows signs of ender-ification before he does, or if he stays Completely Normal while Leon mutates. the latter is probably more interestin bc shadows gettin messed with is a pretty common trait in the au so havin a situation of "the shadow is normal while their summoner gets more and more fucked up" is fun. also: shitpost incarnate. this penguin cannot be stopped by any mortal means

i dont know how the tube thing would affect the shadows, is the fun part. like, "mechanically" the way the shadows work is they're tied to playerdata, so the likely idea is that Cloneby would have Cherruby's shadow. that's fun and fucked up!

fun side note: shadows are ground bound. they can do the kingdom hearts heartless thing of going flat to travel up surfaces and fit through spaces but they cannot jump over gaps. skyblock is maybe the worst experience for a shadow ever LMAO

[freakenomenon]

Hi friend :] I want to understand Ellen as a character better and you seem to have a good grasp on her, so could I ask about your ideas for her? No pressure though either !

YOURE ASKING ME ABOUT MY IDEAS FOR ELLEN?? IVE WAITED YEARS FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME ABOUT MY IDEAS FOR ELLEN!!! /REF .. AGAIN

OKAY to start off. the biggest thing i noticed about her in particular that is pointed out better in the manual than it is displayed in the game is the fact she would rather run away or ignore a problem than actually deal with it and heal. and if you combine this with the fact she usually reacts to ( and CONFUSES ) her own fear with anger. or hostility.

stating herself that she hates crying because she knows she doesnt feel "sad" ,, she just wants to kicks someones ass. which is probably a trauma response. considering she grew up in a rather unsafe neighborhood, which resulted in the death of her brother and cousin. IM JUST RESTATING CANON HERE BUT MY POINT IS.

i feel like if in the game they reeled in the part of her character that is very clearly avoidant, distant and even frequently disassociative. they'd have. a character.

alongside the fact that it's implied she very clearly cannot grasp the concept of not being able to handle something. she's overcome almost everything in her life, but the moment she can't understand another humans feelings. or why another human would treat her the way. most of the people in her life have.

she's more familiar with algorithms than people after all. not to mention that nimdok ( ugh. ) says that ellen is honest to the point of being offensive. first of all fucking. Jesus autistic much. secondly this could also be due to her isolating herself and feeling more at home with her work and electronics than she is with people. a computer is easily fixable if she ends up fucking something up.

its not like you can remove a rom chip on a person and reprogram it to not feel insulted if you tell them they look like they have a dirty microwave. that is probably an oversimplification of my thoughts on that part, but you get the point.

now. to. just. get this part of her character out of the way. just. warning for mentions of rape , miscarriages and other nasty things ahead.

i am not saying that in the situation where someone were to rewrite the game. you have to completely remove the aspect of her being a victim of rape. i simply just think it could've been approached in a better way. as I've stated many times. personally i don't even know where to start with rewriting this aspect of her character??? the most i have is replacing the maintenance man with someone she might have known. just to add more to what I have. maybe a boss or coworker she was close with who exploited their position above her both in the workplace and within the more obvious racial bias of society at the time. using it against her as an excuse to break her boundaries, break down her defenses, and eventually take advantage of her. something like that. just so it has more of an impact on her as a whole, and make her relationship with intimacy and relationships with humans , platonic or not. more strained. having to scratch and fight with the core of her being that wants. and deserves proper intimacy and general care. to keep herself safe. to prevent herself from being violated like that again. her vulnerability is what caused her to end up in that spot. she cant let that happen again. she cant be a hopeless victim again. not again.

yknow because thats how trauma works. it actually effects the victims life in ways other than just ending up with fucked up trigger and a fucked up phobia. wow.

now to the other part of this. I'm. going to be so honest. I would just scrap the miscarriage stuff and the existence of eddie as a whole.

it's so meaningless and minuscule in her character that i bet my pinky toe that half the fandom would look at you like you just said something TED levels of crazy if you brought it up without further grueling context.

.. that's. actually all I've got for now if you trim off me just asking to further establish aspects of her character that i think are interesting. if you've got any questions ill be more than happy to answer! <3

[xoxotaylynn]

let em' know

two years ago

I already got someone, is what you tell 'em every time That shit ain't up for grabs

I hated parties. but I only came because it was my friends graduation party. she was a year younger than me.

I was sitting around I didnt really talk to these people since they were in a different grade then me and I had already graduated. a random guy came up to me and started flirting with me.

"sorry im already seeing someone" I tell the kid. he looks defeated and walks away

4 months ago

"Chris I cant do this anymore!-" I shouted over the phone "either you're all in or all out!"

"why do you wanna talk to other guys?" he questions

"because Chris. Im twenty I wanna live my life a little" I respond

"you are living. you don't need a random guy to live your life." he argues

"but I need you?" I argue back

"ye-" he starts

"Chris either you're all in or all out. i'm not some toy you can play with. and im not gonna wait for you to come to Boston every time." I tell him

he hesitates "You said this shit would happen..."

I scoff "wow. fuck you Chris! you'll never find no one like me!" I hang up the phone

a few minutes later Nick calls me

"do you know why chris is acting like a bitch right now? hes being really disrespectful to me and Matt but won't say why" nick asks me

"I told him that im not gonna hookup with him anymore.." I tell Nick

"what? why?" nick asks. his brothers found out senior year when they read some messages on Chris' phone one day.

"because even though we arent exclusive he gets mad when I talk to other guys or do anything with a guy but won't let us be exclusive so im done he made the decision to be all out." I explain to Nick

"sounds like chris..sorry he's an asshole" I can hear him frowning

"its alright I'll live" I tell him

present day

"Nick guess what?!" I practically yell when he answers the phone

what??!! are you okay?" he asks worried

"im great! the date I went on? he was SO sweet!! and for the past few weeks we've been talking and I think he might ask me out soon!!" I excitedly tell Nick

"O.M.G thats amazing!! you go girl!!" he cheers me on

we talk for a few more minutes before he lets me go because he had to edit the triplets YouTube video

NICK POV

Chris walks into my room "who were you talking just now?" he asks

"oh just y/n, why?" I ask curiously

"because you were being loud as fuck" he pauses "what'd she say..?"

"umm nothing.." i avoid his eyes

"seemed exciting you were really loud" he pushed for an answer

"she's just been talk to this guy..things are going good.." I mumble

"how good?" he asks

"she thinks he's gonna ask her out soon.." I say quietly

"oh." i can tell he's jealous. probably mad too

he walks out without saying anything else

CHRIS POV

I was LIVID. how could she talk to another guy? like she's mine. well technically not but she is. before I could realize what I was doing I had booked a flight back to Boston for the next day. I pack a bag and the very next day I get an uber to the airport without telling anyone.

MATT POV

it was currently 10am and Chris still hasn't woken up, now thats not unusual for him but he wanted to go to the store today so I told him to be up and ready by 9:30am if he wants me to take him.

"Chris! wake up! its 10am!" I shout through his door. no response I roll my eyes and walk in. he's not in his bed? "Chris you in your bathroom?" I ask I look towards the bathroom but the doors wide open..where the fuck is Chris?

"nick!" I yell

"yeah?" he says as he walks into Chris' room "where's Chris?"

"I was gonna ask you that.."

"so neither of us know where Chris is?" he asks

"check find my iPhone for his location" I tell Nick. he does and gasps "what? where is he?" I ask

"in Boston.." Nick mutters

"what why?" I was VERY confused

"um y/n...is getting serious with this guy..Chris found out.." he mutters

"i'm gonna kill Chris. all this over a girl? like I love y/n we've known her for like ever but only Chris would do this dumb ass shit" I roll m eyes

"I know..i'm gonna call him.." nick walks to the living room

NICK POV

I call Chris and he answers "where the fuck are you?" I ask

"Boston." he replies

"why?" I push

"you know why." he sounds pissed

"she doesn't wanna talk to you." I tell him

"I don't fucking care." he has an attitude

"you don't need to have an attitude with me i'm trying to help" I tell him

"i'm sorry- I just..I cant lose her.." his voice softens

'go get your girl back.."

"I will" he pauses "I'll keep you updated"

"please do..and next time you chase after a girl let us know" I say mostly joking

"there wont be a next time.." Chris tells me

"why is that?" I ask

"because I only want her. no one else"

"Chris if you don't go to her house right now i'm flying to Boston and punching you" I warn him

"alright i'm going bye nick"

"bye Chris be safe" I hang up the phone

CHRIS POV

I uber to her apartment and I was freaking out the entire time. what if she doesn't listen to me? what if this is a waste of my time? what if she doesn't want me back? the uber arrives at her apartment and I get out my hands were sweating I wipe them on my jeans and walk into the apartment building and walk towards her door. I take a deep breath then knock. a minute or two later she answers the door her eyes widen "Chris.." she mutters "what are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you." I tell her

"why?" she asks

"you're talking to another guy?" I ask

"yeah.." she mumbles

"y/n.." I start

"no Chris you made your decision so i'm moving on"

"fuck my decision" I respond immediately

"you can't do this Chris. you cant try to rope me back in the second I move on"

"please y/n..I want all in.." I mutter

"Chris.."

"please" I frown

"promise me you're all in"

"I promise. I'm coming back for good, so let him know you're mine" I tell her

"so you're my boyfriend now?" she asks

"yes" I smile "and you're my girlfriend"

"good" she smiles

"can I kiss you?" I ask

"since when did you ask to kiss me"

"since I wanna do things right this time"

"you can kiss me" I lean in and kiss her. it starts off slow, it was magical.

"god I missed kissing you" I mumble against her lips

"shut up and keep kissing me" and I do, I could kiss her for hours. her lips felt like they molded perfectly against mine. and just like that I got the girl.

tays comments: HI GUYSS so I actually hate this but I wanted to post an actual story for y'all since its been a fat ass minute but I hope you like this one sorry theres no smut I felt like writing a little angst and fluff instead anywho I LOVE YOU GUYS ENJOY BYEEE

[anonymouscheeses]

Vaggie and Valentino are connected and no one has been talking about it (I think 😭)

Brutha. I've always known this but like these two are surface level similar yet so SO SO SOOOO different its terrifying.

Question might be, why tf am I comparing the r*pist and the beautiful, gorgeous, fantastic, inspiring, humble, generous, smeggsy, former angel?

Simply because they are both moth demon's that speak Spanish. It's a bit too specific. And rlly that's kind of all I have right now. Sure, you could say "erm actually, Vaggie isn't a moth demon 🤓" and ur probably right. But if she's not, why is it that in her redesign for the show they lean into the moth hair? It's look much MUCH more moth than in the pilot. So if Viv wanted to stray away from the moth theme, why make it look more like that? She may not he exactly a moth demon but she does have intentional moth features. Perhaps Vaggie just disguised herself like that, either way, still a connection..

I would get it if one of them were in helluva boss jst as a way to recycle and make room or whatever. But no, they are in the same show, same world, same ring of hell, same city(I think). It's a weird connection and I kind of don't want it to exist. Like at all. Because if they are connected I can't think of any other way they are except that Val could be a fallen angel. Which I CANT imagine. Unless Vaggie is like, a winner that became an exterminator, but genuinely that would be a bit complex. But what isn't in this show. Then again, Adam said he created her, or that could be a metaphor for that Vaggie was never noticed as a human and just brushed off to the side so therefore Adam "created" her (created a name and image/status of her). But that's unlikely, I don't they would be that smart lmao.

Personality wise, they both have anger issues. Pilot Vaggie and show Valentino are more alike but show Vaggie is still somewhat spicy. They also both have hot voices, sorry not sorry, like fuck Val (not literally) but his voice is BAZINGA 😍 and I'm a simp for Stephanie Beatriz. I'm a simple gal.

Design wise they have rare commonalities. They are both heavily red but thats everyone in the show it make my eyes bleed. But. A weird thing someone pointed out in a slideshow on tiktok is that show Valentino has white stripes on his hips. Me personally I'm not sure what to think about it really. Like I mean it IS a new detail that spawned AFTER the pilot and it is like... on the EXACT place. But like, it's such a weird thing to include when it's such a common pose yknow?

Also the X's on the boobs are so sensual I cannot be the only one. And ykno Val is the king of sensual (🤮)

Maybe you could be asking, "if Val and Vaggie r connected jst because they are moth demons then that jst means that anyone that are the same species are somehow tied to eachother huh? 🤓" like Angel Dust and Zestial. But what I think differs from that is the fact these two have actual big similarities apart from jst the fact they are moths. Like what I just explained, personality, design, both speak Spanish. While Angel Dust and Zestial are only just both spiders. Angel's reason for being a spider is due to the ykno, "web of crime" thing. And Zesty man? Idk he probably got bit and fucking died by a poisonous spider. I mean, health shit wasn't exactly great back in his ye olde time.

For Val and Vaggie we have NO idea why they are moths

But I did find this! From google AI.....? (I didn't even know that was a thing..) but, I think it's true. It explains the dynamic with Angel alot and I think that's an interesting detail.

Which could also apply to Vaggie because of her hyper-dependency on Charlie.

Plus this fits Vaggie so. SO much. If my theory that Vaggie just disguised herself as a moth to blend in then that would be a good connection to the entire moth motif. Love, I don't even need to explain.

It can fit Val too if you think abt the disguise part a bit. Like he disguises himself as this charming and calming figure to avoid suspicion and lure victims... fucking creepy 🤮

Also in Vaggie's past designs she was more moth.

Here is like. ONE image I could find that wasn't too blurry. Like I wouldn't say it's heavy moth but I think if you asked me what insect she was based off I would guess moth in like a few minutes. The colors being dark, the fluffy legwarmers. Yum, that's a mothy. (THIS DESIGN YHO KINDA PISSES ME OFF. WHY IS THERE THE FEMALE SIGN OK HER SHIRY I THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT IN THIS VER??? also str8 vaggie scares me don't ever bring up that thing around me. They are NOT the same. #notmyvagina)

From what I know there aren't any previous old beta designs of Valentino, so he was likely made for the show specifically.

Overall, they are both sexy Spanish speakers who are moth demons, in the same show, oddly specific connected design choices, and have some anger issues.

Oh also they both hate Angel Dust 💜

[superm4ks]

Just saw a tweet saying max has never lost a position during a SC restart since he joined RB. Now idk how reliable this stat is (lol) but u sometimes mention how his restarts are crazy so I was just wondering why are his restarts so good? Like what does he do taht the rest just isn't doing?

omfg my vertsussive ((😭??)) journalism era .. The stat is very reliable. Let's TALK ABOUT ITTT ‼️‼️‼️

According to this op who checked specific time stamps for every VSC and SC deployed until 2021, available here, Max has driven behind 88 safety cars since he joined red bull, 103 total, and he never lost position on a single one. Which means he's either kept position or actually managed to overtake. He gained position 17 times. For comparison wid another yk pretty good driver, during the same period Lewis gained position 5 times, and only lost track position 3 times. All 3 to Max. Thats 2016-2021. I think Singapore 2022 ruined the record because I'm pretty sure Max lost position under the sc there. Idk how many times he's gained so far either, but I can think of a few races this year alone, so it wud be interesting to check. Hes been able to gain position for about 20% of restarts between 2016-2021, which is like .. not even comparable to other drivers numbers its his stat its definitely a Verstappen thing and the easiest way to explain it is: its a grey area, it allows for somebody wid enough nerve, skill and commitment to take ownership and use it for their own benefit. Enter the nerve, skill and commitment baddie, whos been haunting motorsport since before he cud vote.

SC restarts were cheat codes that inevitably lead to a verstappen amendment because FIA is bitches. During SCs Max liked to get his insane self right next to whoever was in front of him, and I mean RIGHT NEXT to the mf, and make them eat shit and d1e the moment they were allowed to restart. These are called 'restart tactics' I prefer 'jeddah appetizers'. Like literally he wud bully these men, run them wide or pinch them against walls like they owed him lunch money and then take off. This is still legal mind u, u can gain position after a SC, its literally racing, the updated rule last year was more of a 'fucking calm down Max' type of thing. Not the first of its kind, as we know. Even tho they kinda backtracked wid the first one and now u can twerk a lil bit under braking but not too much. I love f1. Anyway.

Article 55.14 of F1’s sporting rules states: “In order to avoid the likelihood of accidents before the safety car returns to the pits, from the point at which the lights on the car are turned out, drivers must proceed at a pace which involves no erratic acceleration, or braking nor any maneuver which is likely to endanger other drivers or impede the restart."

--- BASICALLY, yall ((max)) can drive side by side, yall can weave to warm up the tires, but those lil ((Dutch)) footsies better keep it chill until sc is gone and maintain position. Now a casual wud read this and think, oh, so they nerfed him, he cant commit the crime anymore, but Max read that and thought oh, okay, so I'll literally just keep doing it, in a different way, and I'll gaslight other drivers into letting me do it ((literally, I'm not joking)). They said cars had to stay in position, they didn’t say how. They didnt say he couldnt simply keep his delta, in a situation where its practically impossible, and gain under the VSC, for example.

Max excels at rolling starts because one, the audacity 😐((I think sharl and lewis the only 2 drivers who ever managed to beat him at his own game)) two, the timing and skill is computer level of specific. It is a very VERY meticulous process, and it takes making hands-on decisions about multiple components, racing lines, tires, acceleration, lifting, in a very, very short amount of time. So pretty much Max SC restarts are him not beating the made in a lab allegations. But most sim racers, ex drivers, engineers, will just tell you that the reason he's so good at this is because he practices more than everybody else in the world, probably. U do it enough times and it becomes second nature, u know exactly how the car is gonna behave so what seems like 'instinct' and the product we see, as fans, a bunch of slow cars suddenly going ‼️‼️AHSHSHSHDJSHF actually takes a lot of thinking on their side. Max does a lot of thinking in the car he doesn't get credit for, because the mad max narrative is also such a huge part of who he is, and it is true, to a certain extent, but its not mindless aggression, never has been. Its a deliberate choice and its got a simple purpose: gaining or maintaining position. I'm not saying he never got too reckless or that he never pushed it, but he always did it for a reason, and he had full control of his car, always.

Thats the crucial difference between Max and somebody whos just aggressive, because if Max was truly just a meathead behind the wheel, he wud not be known for mastering one of the few aspects of racing that rests entirely on strategy and skill, the restart. Thats why doctor markonstein put his ass in an f1 car when he was 17, because if a teenager wid no experience and a temper can control an f1 machine to the point he becomes an actual threat, imagine what he can do in his 20s 😐. Maybe in his 20s he can lift less than a quarter of a second before the control line to stay behind the leader and be allowed to overtake him at the restart.

[tinybed]

i rly wanted to vent about this because its getting on my nerves -_- tumblr is where i vent bc there’s no character limit. Ok so i just find it rly annoying how nothing is ever good enough for anyone online. thats a generality ofc and it’s been like this forever but i cant take it anymore! someone posts a poem that they made from the heart and everyone jumps on them saying i hate it Booooo!!! this is a bad poem and you wrote it too simply so its obvious you’re just trying to go viral!!

or someone else makes a tweet that sounds kind of flowery and “Cringey” and everyone’s like “wow you’re so pretentious” and “You rly thought you said something” and then you read the person’s replies and they admit it was actually just a real thought they had and posted offhandedly… not a big deal.

a youtuber who’s been documenting her journey from homelessness to having an apartment while maintaining sobriety introduces their bf who they admit their sponsor knows about, and says they’ve taken it rly slow, and then all of the comments are freaking tf out, mothering her, telling her either what she “needs to do” instead or accusing her of “lying” and denouncing her completely…

an old guy makes a video about something where he has to read from the script he wrote and top comment is “next time put the teleprompter 6 inches up so it at least looks like you’re speaking to us!”

those are just some examples but its sooooo fucking tiring seeing ppls cynicism, criticism, bad faith takes, entitlement, dogpiling, etc.

of course this is something i could avoid by simply putting my phone down forever. but im not going to do that LOL im just noticing it almost seems like its getting worse. i just dont like it and i wish ppl would give other ppl more grace…. we’re lucky when ppl share with us. we are lucky that ppl take the time to make art and “content” thats meant to connect to us and it bothers me a lot how unwilling people are to ignore something we dont like personally. not every poem can appeal to you. not every post can appeal to you. sometimes an old man isnt thinking about looking a camera in the eye to make you feel like he’s talking directly to you? so yeah i guess thats what i wanted to say :-/ if this seems like im freaking out about nothing then thats fine idc

[dullanyan]

i watched all of higurashi gou and the end of sotsu. i will post my review

(HIGURASHI SPOILERS, NOT JUST FOR GOU/SOTSU BUT FOR THE VN AS WELL)

these are my thoughts after watching gou, just copy-pasted from discord.

i think the actual worst thing abt gou is the fact that its not unwatchable. it does have some interesting parts, and i am a huge sucker for the antics the main crew gets up to. but in general its disrespectful? like to satoko especially. i can believe that her and rika drift apart a bit at st lucia, but rika is too committed to making sure everything is good forever, i really doubt she would just like not talk to satoko sure i can see satoko being like no im fine i dont need any help but rika knows her. she would know thats a lie and they'd talk it out overall its very dedicated to making satoko be really dense.

and the same for sotsu

honestly, i think the loops/eua didnt need to happen at all. in fact, in my head, none of it was canon. even the ending felt pretty dumb of like "oooohhh, we're the only 2 looping entities, we gotta avoid each other foreverrrr" like man shut up. its trying to hard to be toxic yuri but it just sucks bc its 2 characters that shouldnt be going thru that. what i CAN believe is like. either satoko and rika going to st lucia, getting into a physical fight over it, coming to terms with the fact satoko doesnt like it and its hurting her so she transfers from there to the normal high school the others went to. OR them getting in a fight over it beforehand and agreeing to go their separate ways to 2 different schools. eua felt completely pointless honestly. the loops were so... nothing. also i feel a little weird abt the teppei redemption. not that he cant change and stuff but yknow............................ also they literally remembered satoshi so last second and threw him in there HNFDKHDFNK "oh im awake now!!! :D" its been 4 years man the fight scene where they go thru different loops was pretty cool i guess. kind of felt waaaay over the top though when they went super saiyan miko mode. its cool for what it is, but also, it feels so excessive based on everything else in higurashi. honestly gou/sotsu probably wouldnt be.......... horrible? if it were its own anime and the vns didnt exist. but they do and so these just kind of.... really tarnish them imo. which is why i dont consider that shit canon. also its just weirdly abusive to hanyuu for no reason. idk what thats all about. she literally only got to have 1 good moment the whole fucking series. wadda hell man. the only good things i think gou brings to the table is a peek into their futures a bit, like what happens after w their middle/high school lives. the rest of that stuff didnt need to happen though im thinking abt it all and how little the main cast really got to talk to satoko and rika thru all this shit. when it came to that plot, its like the rest of them didnt even matter. you're telling me rena wouldnt pick up on satokos feelings and talk to her abt it??? how they wouldnt like try to figure out whats going on at all? its stupid. it focuses way too much on rika and satoko, neglecting the importance of the others. ultimately, i know why this anime was made and what its purpose is. i know its to appeal to the much larger audience of higurashi fans anime onlys that were in it for the cute girls killing each other. it was trying to do stuff for the vn readers as well, but it just fell flat bc in the end none of that shit needed to happen. i know its stupid to criticize a story on what should or shouldnt have happened, but you know. knowing what i DO abt the characters and how the vn stresses the importance of talking to your friends to work out your problems... it just, sucks that they threw that all away in favor of a ton of gore. at the end of the day, im not like, mad or insulted this exists. its whatever. plus it puts some higurashi merch back on the market so not everything is ultra rare 20 year old figures for $700. it doesnt really exist for me, as a fan of the vns. i dont even think its horrible, it had some enjoyable parts to it. its just not good, is all. thanks for coming to my higurashi essay.

those are my discord ramblings. now i ramble here.

for sotsu, genuinely it felt like i didnt need to watch the first 11/12 episodes. yeah, it provided new perspectives and included how things got that way, but... i read the summaries of those episodes and got the gist of it all. if i had more respect for the plot they were going for, i might've watched em. but i dont like it! it was a really weird character assassination of satoko.

i can believe her behavior to some extent- not wanting to lose her best friend but not wanting to subject herself to constant misery in an academy she cant keep up with. again, i feel like eua didnt need to exist, and they couldve actually worked it out from there. especially if they let anyone else like... matter? let them talk and reason with their friends?

tl;dr if you like the vns, generally gou/sotsu isnt for you i'd say.

[triptychofvoids]

First things first, I love your head cannons and the way you draw it's very very crunchable, now the question, do you have any science party head cannons? That's all, thank you!! :3c

thank you i appreciate it!! and yes i have a few im normal about them <- foaming at the mouth btw

you know the drill theyre going under the cut in case it gets long

someone made a post about this already i think and i dont remember who but medic and engineer would be so good at parallel play. theyre both content to be in the lab or in the workshop doing their own thing just alongside each other, maybe occasionally dragging the other over to look at what theyre working on either to show it off or get feedback of some kind. they both find each others work to be fascinating even if they dont completely understand it, and on the occasion they combine their knowledge to work on something together it always ends up being Really Fucking Cool and fun for them, regardless of whether or not it ends up being something successful. thats their idea of a date. parallel play working on fucked up and evil science stuff

out of all the mercs, engineer and heavy strike me as the ones that would do most of the cooking. not that the others cant cook (although i think some of them would need supervision....) but most of the time they just dont really want to, and besides theyd both be very good at it. but anyway engie would know about medics sensory issues and him being picky about certain foods and hed always try to make meals everyone will enjoy. if there is something in a dish that he knows medic wont like then he will either mess with the recipe a bit in order to exclude it or will just make it on the side so everyone else can have some but medic wont have to deal with it.

medic uses a weighted blanket and likes to hold onto things in his sleep as well so anytime they share a bed engie gets compressed into a jpeg. this is sometimes avoided because it isnt uncommon for engie to pull an all-nighter or for medic to wake up freakishly early so sometimes medic will already be asleep and/or will get up before him but still, its like a hydraulic press in there

like i said about engie knowing about medics sensory issues and whatever else, sometimes on the battlefield if medic is starting to get overwhelmed he will fall back to a dispenser and engie will shoo anyone else off to go find a health kit instead so medic can get just a few brief moments of peace

they have the kind of relationship where neither of them ever get bored of each others company and neither of them ever run out of things to talk about. which is very cool and awesome for them and sort of boring and awful for anyone else who might get stuck in a room or a car with them for any extended period of time

medics love language, platonic or otherwise, can be best described as 'all of the above'. hes very affectionate and bitey and he isnt always very good at communicating that he cares but he tries to convey it through things like weird gifts (like how a cat brings back dead animals), surgery and medical evaluation, talking a whole lot and hoping it counts for something, acts of service but he can only kill and dissect, etc. and engie somehow has the patience to put up with it. engie is big on acts of service and words but it doesnt matter because medic saps up any and all affection he is given like an infinite sponge and then tries in his own deranged way to return it tenfold

also. i think shipping these two is so funny because at first glance it might look like medic is the feral one and engie is the responsible one but then you look again and the roles have switched. and then you look a third time and theyre actually both a little unhinged. anything in the name of science

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Dirk Strider

Page 633-636

JAKE: Fuck!!!

JAKE: Why did she have to go and build a moon laser!!!

JAKE: Why did she have to go and

JAKE: And SAY all that!!!

DIRK: It's not over.

DIRK: That moon laser doesn't mean shit.

JAKE: ...if theres no one to press the button?

DIRK: Boom.

DIRK: Or, you know.

DIRK: No boom.

JAKE: Her guard is down...

DIRK: And you have a gun.

JAKE: I have TWO guns.

DIRK: Let's be real, this wouldn't even be the first time you've thought of it.

JAKE: Its... an option.

DIRK: Or.

DIRK: You help her win the battle.

DIRK: Avoid baptizing the Earth with laser-fire.

DIRK: And she uses The Point, and the world doesn't end.

DIRK: Probably.

DIRK: Who the fuck knows.

JAKE: What should i do?

DIRK: I'm not gonna tell you.

JAKE: I already know youll want me to do whats heroic.

JAKE: But you wouldnt want me to kill jane either.

JAKE: Would you?

DIRK: Stop staring at me like I'm gonna tongue-kiss the answer into you, dude.

DIRK: You know what you need to do.

JAKE: But jane was right about me!

JAKE: I cant be trusted.

JAKE: I dont even like 99% of people.

DIRK: Then do it for one person.

DIRK: Aren't you tired of spreading yourself thin trying to believe in everything?

DIRK: Because it's looking pretty fuckin' likely that the future where Tavvy is happy and the future where Jane is alive don't coincide.

DIRK: You have to kill one for the other to survive.

JAKE: It sounds like youre gunning for her.

DIRK: It sounds like *you're* gunning for her.

DIRK: Say what you will about Dirk, but he always wanted you to be your best self.

DIRK: He pushed you hoping if he did it hard enough, you'd push back.

DIRK: That's a far cry from whatever neutered domestic purgatory Jane's offering you.

DIRK: Wasn't it nice to be believed in, man?

JAKE: Ugh.

JAKE: Can i make an honest query?

JAKE: Did i really kill him?

DIRK: Hm.

JAKE: I did, didnt i?

DIRK: Common sense says no.

JAKE: Cant you swing that one by your esoteric telepathic dirk connection?

DIRK: That's a tricky fuckin' wicket, man.

JAKE: Its "sticky wicket".

DIRK: It's nothing, because that's a stupid fucking phrase cooked up by fake people about a fake sport from a dead planet.

DIRK: Anyway, it's tricky because there's not really all that much of anything left of the big man.

DIRK: Not here, anyway.

JAKE: Oh, baloney!

JAKE: Thats not how this works. Youre the supernatural tsaheylu of our combined "steezes".

JAKE: This isnt my first ride in the rodeo, mister, I KNOW THE RHYTHM OF THIS BUCKING BRONCO.

JAKE: HES STILL HERE, DAMMIT!

DIRK: I'm sorry.

DIRK: He's gone, dude.

JAKE: OH FUCK OFF.

JAKE: YOU CHARLATAN.

DIRK: Yeah.

JAKE: HORSES ASS.

DIRK: Get it all out, man.

JAKE: YOU MALEVOLENT MASCULINE MALFEASANT.

DIRK: I know a crisp glass of personal culpability isn't what you ordered, but hey.

DIRK: It's better than relapsing.

JAKE: Im drunk right now.

DIRK: And that sucks, buddy.

DIRK: But I'm talking about the big show of "everything's fine now" kitchen table red undie dirty dancing you did.

JAKE: Oh, i forgot about that.

DIRK: You fuckin' wish you did.

DIRK: It'd be the only reasonable excuse you'd have for nipping this uncomfortable epiphany in the bud so you could slink back to following orders from Dirk.

JAKE: ...

JAKE: Gods hooks, i backflipped right into my old ways!

DIRK: Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a running theme with literally everybody we know.

DIRK: You all get caught up in these feeling jams, hugging it out in self-realizational bliss.

DIRK: Then, bam.

DIRK: Premature ejaculation.

DIRK: That passionate growth grind ends before it builds to anything actually satisfying.

JAKE: :(

JAKE: Are you saying i need to be red undies jake again?

DIRK: Absolutely the fuck not.

DIRK: Hands off the belt, buddy. You've graduated.

DIRK: You're fully dressed Jake now.

DIRK: Sitting on the sticky floor of a custodial closet, hidden away from anything certain and good in this world.

DIRK: Alone.

JAKE: This is scary! I dont like this.

DIRK: Fuck yeah it is. This is sweaty, achey, burning transformation, brother.

JAKE: I want to go back! I want to be the other guy again.

DIRK: You can't be the other guy anymore, Jake.

DIRK: We're sending him upstate to live on a beautiful farm, where they're gonna immediately drag him out back and put him out of his fucking misery.

DIRK: Remember when you told Egbert you wanted someone to hold you accountable?

JAKE: No.

DIRK: Well.

JAKE: Nooooooo.

DIRK: "Here's Johnny!"

JAKE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

JAKE: Oh...

JAKE: *sniff*

JAKE: Oh, dirk...

JAKE: Cripes, if there really is no magical component to all of this,

JAKE: if youre really gone,

JAKE: then i am simply a forty year old man... being led by the nose... by an imaginary friend.

JAKE: That is not cute.

DIRK: It's kind of cute.

JAKE: No!

JAKE: Its mental illness!

DIRK: It can be both.

DIRK: Look.

DIRK: What you need to do is stop sobbing into your own fucking arms and make a decision.

DIRK: Spying for the rebellion, running away... these were steps in the right direction, but they also had, y'know.

JAKE: Plausible deniability.

DIRK: They were deflections.

DIRK: And at the end of the day, that's what choosing Jane would be, too.

JAKE: Its odd, but...

JAKE: Shucks, i dont want to cut her down right before she makes this big turnaround.

JAKE: If shed decided to keep her promise...

JAKE: thatd be bitter fucking berries to live with.

DIRK: But?

JAKE: But she probably wont change, will she?

DIRK: Why in the fuck would she?

DIRK: She'll have won.

JAKE: But... i dont think she was meant to be this way. Do you?

DIRK: Like, was she born to be a wildly racist dictatorial cake boss?

JAKE: Ok, when you put it that way it sounds a bit bonkers.

JAKE: What i mean is...

JAKE: Take me, for example.

JAKE: I know its not my fault janey got a bit rough and tumble with our relationship. That fundamentally, i didnt deserve it.

JAKE: But that doesnt exactly make me a mensch by default, does it?

JAKE: In fact i worry there might be more of me thats, well... inherently bad than not.

JAKE: And thats why everything tends to get so furiously fucked all the time!

JAKE: Everyone is waiting around for this better version of me to pop up, but thats never going to happen.

JAKE: Because if it did, it wouldn't be me anymore.

DIRK: So, are you trapped being Mr. Pissy Pantyloos Loser Man no matter what?

JAKE: Sort of.

JAKE: What do you think?

DIRK: I don't know.

DIRK: Maybe?

JAKE: Oh...

DIRK: Who even gives a fuck?

DIRK: This is some big philosophical philandering you're trying out, and we didn't even finish elementary school.

DIRK: The best we've got to work with is whatever you gleaned from "My Dinner with Andre" and "Blade Runner."

DIRK: And you fell asleep during "Andre."

JAKE: Point taken.

DIRK: Here's what we do know: when you face our friends tomorrow, they're gonna be none-the-wiser about the insane masturbatory matrix bullet time battles you've been having with yourself in your own head.

DIRK: What will be real to them is what you DID.

DIRK: That's it.

DIRK: Show them you're trying.

DIRK: Or don't, and get left behind.

JAKE: Good god...

JAKE: This is the worst pep talk... ever.

DIRK: It's you, dude, what did you expect?

JAKE: True.

DIRK: Do you want to be left behind?

JAKE: No!

JAKE: I want to see tavvy grow up!

JAKE: I want to choose him!

JAKE: But i want to believe in jane too...

DIRK: Sigh.

JAKE: Listen.

JAKE: I never really understood all that much of the "doomed timeline" hoopla you cerebral types tend to gab on about.

JAKE: But... its nice to think that there might be countless janes somewhere out there who never stopped being happy.

JAKE: Baking, getting up to all manner of lighthearted mischiefs... true blue all around.

JAKE: When i think of her, thats whats real to me.

JAKE: What she is now, what these rotten unenviable circumstances have made of her, its all just...

DIRK: Happenstance.

JAKE: Is that stupid?

DIRK: Probably, but you're a god of Hope.

DIRK: You're a poster-child for making stupid shit feasible.

DIRK: And no one has the power to say what's true for every Jane.

DIRK: I'm sure if you asked a couple of them how they feel about labor camps and domestic violences, they'd hit you with a "Woah there, buster jones."

JAKE: "Thats not for me!"

DIRK: "No siree!"

JAKE: Hehehe.

JAKE: Exactly.

JAKE: If i can believe in those janes,

JAKE: i think i can let this one go.

DIRK: Extravagant hoops to stumble through just to keep believing, man.

DIRK: It's sneaky. I like it.

JAKE: Its decided then?

DIRK: Seems so.

DIRK: You can finally leave the closet.

JAKE: Har, har.

JAKE: Goofs aside, old buddy...

JAKE: I get the strange sense i wont be speaking with you again.

DIRK: You won't. Why would you?

DIRK: You're normal now.

JAKE: But-

DIRK: You don't need him.

JAKE: It feels good to pretend, though.

JAKE: To hold on a little while longer.

DIRK: Don't.

JAKE: Fine! Fine...

JAKE: Hope is the crummiest aspect of the lot, huh.

JAKE: I swear the only time its worth a lick more than delusions and hot air

JAKE: is if it really fucking hurts.

DIRK: Welcome to being a person, Jake English.

[neeeeeoposts]

Ohhhh, your FoulWilt art is so adorable! Do you have any headcanons for them, either as individuals or as a couple?

YOU BET I FUCKNG DO😈😈😈😈 also thank you sm 💕💕

but i'll do individual hc first before couple hc 💁‍♀️

also these hcs are most closer to my human au (see some of my doodles for their designs :P) so some headcanons may be inaccurate to a more canon version of them

just a warning; this is really freaking long so just saying-

v

• one of the episodes already portrayed this (S2E3: Where There's a Wilt There's a Way) but Wilt has this like rlly bad mentality where he must help anyone and everyone he can, takes everyones health and wellbeing before his own type of thing

• willing to give up his kidney if you asked him to

• sleeps in some of the most impossible positions known to man (Coco found him asleep in the closet once)

• either has flexiable as hell or has some stiff ass limbs, no in between

• can't sing well, but dances extremely good (from what he could learn from Frankie's computer)

• wilt helps Eduardo w his insomnia sometimes (I HC THAT ED HAS INSOMNIA STFU I THINK ITS CUTE)

• on the same topic on the last one, wilt also sews any of eduardo's broken plushies together when he's not around

• cooks like a god (pastries, not so much tho)

• probably forgot his birthday once or twice

• pansexual (he had to fight for his life to explain that he DOES NOT KISS THE COOKING PANS to Bloo)

alr larry's turn 🤭🤭

• didn't actually know HE was the reason for wilt's broken arm and eye, so when he found out, he was like- spending the whole month trying to both make it up to Wilt (despite the fact wilt repeated that he forgave larry) and was extremely guilt-ridden that he was basically isolating himself

• cant cook for shit, its almost sad

• probably the one to teach wilt how to say no and every cuss word known to man

• closeted hamilton fan (or just musicals in general), but he mostly enjoys dubstep or just VERY LOUD songs in general

• flower enthusiast, daisies are his favorite

• probably shaved his head once because he thought he'd look good but never again

• i think he smells like peaches ☝️😲

• bisexual (has dated before, sometime pre-Good Wilt Hunting ep then broke up lmao)

couple hcs🤭🤭🤭

• before dating they would actively avoid each other while also desperately trying to see each other too

• larry is touch starved and wilt is overly affectionate (via touch and words) so it works out basically

• i think they live on opposite sides of the house, so they make up for it by giving each other gifts and letters either whenever they see each other or some magical delivery system

• when they have sleepovers wilt has the life changing moment of what it feels like to actually sleep in a bed

• on that note, wilt is a massive cuddle person and will hang onto larry like a koala while asleep (trying to pry him off is nearly impossible)

• Frankie and Coco write fanfics about them, you cant tell me otherwise

• Their relationship developed from really long glances to the other from across the room to just holding hands in public and that was enough for Frankie to realize theyre dating

• i think i saw this in a fic once but the two would basically give very back-handed 'compliments' every time they saw each other, which developed into "dont you EVER FUCKING say that to him" when the other is insulted

• Rarely play basketball against each other, but when they do Larry is extremely fucking careful that wilt gets upset because he "isnt giving his best efforts" (Larry loses on purpose anyways for Wilt's sake)

• is there a term for when both partners in a relationship have massive problems and go to the other for advice and comfort? because i think thats them

• wilt has no knowledge of relationships whatsoever so trying to explain what a "pussy" is to him is very difficult ("like a cat?" "...no.")

• larry, with the help of nearly everyone in the whole house because theyre all broke as shit, bought wilt a prosthetic arm for his birthday and wilt sobbed on larry for a whole hour

• larry likes to throw wilt over his shoulder very often bc hes light as a feather and its just funny to him

• i think i just really like the "tall skinny guy" x "even taller and built guy w man boobas"

• wilt rarely swears unless needed to while larry says at least once per sentence

• both are awkward af so asking each other out is like a mental battle to the death

• mac, goo and bloo will spend hours trying to analyze a corkboard if they're in a relationship or not (when they do they will place traps for wilt and larry like a mistletoe)

• larry draws REALLY FREAKIGN good and when wilt found out he begged larry to post it somewhere (it blew up) and now every letter larry writes to wilt has a small doodle of something on the back or in the corner as per his request

• wilt gets flustered very very very easily and its really funny to larry

• watch movies together and either larry falls asleep on wilt or wilt goes to get more popcorn then never comes back because everyone needed a favor from him

• Jackie Khones is a certified detective on trying to figure out on what the actual hell is going on between the two (probably worked w Mac again in order to figure that out)

• Wilt is a dog person but Larry is a car person, that is one of the main (and probably only) arguments between them

• i already said wilt was a good cook so he'll always make larry small snacks (because Herriman forbids people making their own meals for some reason) and larry will silently cry of happiness for a moment bc "wilt's too good for him"

• wilt blinks like a frog when he zones out and larry also finds it funny

• but on the opposite note, wilt found out that larry will sway side to side when idly standing or zoning out and likes to point it out whenever he does it (wilt finds it funny and cute at the same time)

• they save the corny nicknames for when theyre alone, but publicly will call each other stuff like "shorty" and "carebear" (wilt likes to call larry carebear because he's somehow more caring than anyone hes ever known and is nearly as tall as a bear)

• Wilt scheduled times designated to shit-talking Duchess with eduardo, coco, bloo, mac and frankie (Larry had no idea who Duchess even was but when he met her for the first time he never wanted to punch someone so bad)

• Wilt fish-kisses (looks like a 3) and Larry kisses w tongue

• madame foster now hosts 'pride parties' in june which was inspired by the couple so that residents of the house could feel comfortable while living there (and she got all the tea about them from Frankie)

ok tahts all bye

thanks so much for requesting <3