#and thats coming from someone who doesnt like attack on titan

[oifaaa]

if you want a romantic anime I can recommend "president of the student council is a maid?!". it's sort of a classic so you might have heard of it but it's cute. not without it's issues of the time and of the genre. but still it's very decent. funny and the main girl and the love interest boy are interesting

also something you might have seen: classmate. just a lil bit of school romance, it's a film. it is gay in a very like. sort of realistic but not for the sake of angst and suffering kind of way. very good animation

Yeah unfortunately I have already watched both of these its weird thinking about how Maid sama used to be one of those animes everyone would have watched not in like the way people watch anime or trending shows now a days more of the if your friend was trying to get you into anime and they gave you a list of recs maid Sama would be on it and yeah Doukyusei came out around the same time yuri on ice did which is weird to think about how long ago that was now

[incorrectsnkships]

OKAY OKAY OKAY! I CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION LAST FUCKING NIGHT! CONNIE THE MOTHERFUCKING SPRINGER IS GAY!

So at first I just thought he was a really confident and comfortable heterosexual, y'know? BUT NOW! NOW!? oh no, no, no!

Reason numbrero uno! He has feminine hips. Straight boys don't strut like that, straight boys don't fucking be flexible like that.

Reason numbrero duex! He says bitch waaay to much. So if you don't know the history of the word bitch, bitch was also used a a gay slur for y'know twinks. You don't see Jean or Levi OR EVEN EREN going around going bitch, bitch, bitch, fucking crazy bitches. Sure maybe once in awhile, but Connie use it like a sister y'know?

Reason numbrero drei! Look at who the fucking hell he's hanging 'round with! Ymir; the fucking bitch lesbian. Christa/Historia; the lesbian or bi girl dude. He's the fucking second lesbian protector (next to Eren). You see that gay ass gay homie grab in like what season 3? Or was it 2? He's friends with Sasha, who does she hang out with most of the time!? Ymir and Historia! Sometimes Jean and Mikasa. Speaking of Jean, he ain't sleek either! Connie hanging 'round with a fucking bi-saster a bi disaster! Not to mention Reiner and Armin! We see him worry about Reiner and Bertholdt when they “missing” asking someone to check on them to see if there alive! Man looking out for his gay homies! Also in one of the games he asks Armin why he spends so much time with Eren, to which Armin shoots back with one of the most gay awakening responses, “Hm well what about Ymir and Historia, or Reiner and Bertholdt?” Like yo.

Reason numbrero shi! He mom picks out gay ass fucking names! Sunny, Martin, Connie. Fucking gay dude. (everyone seems to think Sunny is a girl but judging by there titans I actually think Sunny was a boy dude. That’s just a hunch tho~)

Reason numbrero five! He seems like the kinda guy who would wear jewelry. Not really necessarily gay BUt~ I think earrings would so be he thing, and if he we’re to come out he’d probably start wearing one earring!

Reason numbrero six! Look at the kind of shit this man does! He fucking carried Armin princess style, put him down like a prince, bruh he fucking CHOSE to he CHOSE to. He knew what he was doing. And that one official art where he’s wearing that blonde lopsided wig with makeup on. That dress with the fake boobs in it!

Reason numbrero 7! My mama always say, that if a boy is best friends with a girl he will almost always usually fall for her. Connie is close as HELL with Sasha. And while I LOVE springles. This know discovery is D A W N I N G on me! Connie don’t really seem to show that much interest in women. But not necessarily to men either. And that factor being. I think bby Connie is shy!

Overall I think he’s a great fucking character! I love Connie, but this just made me open a whole new chapter for him. I’m currently rewatching AOT with my mom ‘cause she done wanted to watch it and I couldn’t let her watch that cringey dub so yee. I’ll be paying attention for other Easter eggs and clues. I never researched Connie to much but now that I have I’m made some pretty interesting discoveries! In conclusion Connie Springer is probably fucking gay. SO in other words you were RIGHT! ATTACK ON TITAN IS FUCKING GAY! 😍

( j u s t l i k e m e l o l )

srry for the late reply, but you’ve actually convinced me

mans comes across heterosexual but he definitely had a crush on every single male member of the 104th. literally every one. and like many others, one of the older scouts was his gay awakening. and im not saying that connie had a crush on them or anything, and this is definitely not a ship post between connie and any adult in the show, but im just saying that he admired them. a lot. too much. and had to look away when they got changed in front of him.

“connie why do you offer to go kill titans with captain levi whenever we have a mission?”

“i admire his skills!”

“connie, you do realise that erwin doesn’t have time to have tea with you right?”

“no i know i just wanted to talk about stuff with him. professional stuff. as a soldier.”

“connie, you know that moblit doesn’t need an assistant right? he is the assistant”

“WELL SUE ME FOR WANTING TO BE HELPFUL JEAN-“

he’d simp for armin so hard. every week he has a crush on someone new, and then it goes in a loop. and he’d “practice” kissing too. like he’d occasionally bring the topic up in conversation and then go from there based off of the persons reply. “hey uh, jean, so like- have you had your first kiss yet?” and then jean would tell him no and connie would go full internal gay panic. “o- oh yeah, thas- thas cool, um, well, i havent- had mine either so like- would you wanna practice? it doesn’t count-“

connie would have his first everything with jean and it would be so funny because it just happens all at once. like hed get asked if hes ever kissed someone and hed just glare at jean and be so flustered

connie finds it so difficult to tell romantic and platonic feelings apart and thats why hes fallen for all of his friends

armin: oh, connie, thanks for doing that favour for me! i dont know what id do without you!

eren: wait! hurry, where do they keep the extra blades?!

connie: in the cellar!

eren: great- connie, i love you!

marco: see connie? if you just fold the paper a little more, youll get there :) youre a pleasure to teach and i love spending time with you :)

also why do i feel like connie and marco dated for a little while? not even dated then, had a thing going on for a bit. like besides from jean because he doesnt count, but connies first romantic encounter was with marco, fight me

and i definitely feel like connie went to hange for some advice about his sexuality. he was so confused and liking everyone at the same time, so who else better to go to than the person who tried to convince erwin to start an lgbtq+ youth club right?

but when eren and armin announced that they were officially dating, that was an eye opener for connie and it made him realise that its okay to be yourself

and it took him a while to actually realise that he was gay. hence the fact that hed physically gag whenever someone suggested for him to date sasha, and all those times in the boys changing room that hed have to turn around or leave completely

so yes, i can see where youre coming from, and i agree with you. but if we were to list the people connie has simped for from most-least?

marco

armin

jean

eren

levi (not really simping, more fanboying/celebrity crush)

reiner

moblit (same as levi)

bertholdt

[tonya-the-chicken]

Me looking at Enji and the sticks and chuckling Oo this gonna make em mad and hurt right? Literally its shit writing think every time Enji starts making any progress Horikoshi inserts another scene where hes doing something random that doesnt even make sense training wise and just gets the fandom riled up. It would now come to pass he kept beating down Shoto like a dog with the sword even though thats one item thats common in martial arts and used differently. All it proves is H knows nothing ab

(I hope all this is from the same person)

Horikoshi knows nothing about martial arts. Like literally, why not reuse the sword scene where Endeavor says Toya came close but Shoto will be the one. The dialogue was right there perfect to send Toya into a spiral and not make him look like a idiot who assumes and runs. Nd btw theres a single panel of their huge gate it has a comm system like all mansions have in media which makes one assume the gate wont open unless someone identifies.

At this point I dont even feel any more sympathy for Shoto even because Horikoshis just on a melodrama train to up it more coz his daddy issues boiled back again when fans didnt take it seriously and still arent taking it seriously and again and again, like its like he wants everyone to always be talking how bad for victims all the time yet hes the one that made the abuser popular and went ott. Even Enji's VA had said he didnt take note of Enji but he became dear to him because of his change.

More on the martial arts scene, Enjis got huge equipment in the room, yet the only scene are meqnt to see is poor baby lying on floor and dad towering. Show some weight lifting, some sparring, some swimming. All this proves is this is why Shoto was so weak against Tetsu. Endeavor could never really make someone that tiny his sparring partner and so all Shotos training was useless beyond building heat and endurance. Hes not strong as his dad, no extraordinary reflexes, no hand to hand to skills

I kinda had a little martial arts training and tbh there's plenty of ways you can make it both realistic and abusive. Like, idk, the only way we saw Shouto actually training was when he was running on a treadmill in OVA, the rest time we see him vomiting and Enji standing there (sometimes with a sword). And at the same time Enji is supposed to be a good teacher, like, he has plenty of experience, he probably took interns in his agency and we see him very efficiently training the trio in Agency Arc. So why does the way he trained Shouto in childhood make no sense? You can show him forced to do kicking until his legs are bruised or stand on a plank for way too long... The story must be believable for readers to get invested in it... Like Annie Leonardt in Attack on Titan, she was overtrained too but her training made sense even if it was abusive. You can physically train a child and you can make it abusive in a way it is logical

Again, for readers to get invested, the story must be believable

Reusing the swird scene where Enji told that Touya was a failure would be fantastic and would make total sense and make total sense. Like, Touya didn't just go on a rampage after seeing his Dad is not a mourning mess 24/7 three years after his "death", but he saw that his Dad actually considers him a failure and says it out loud

[ectonurites]

My least favorite type of fic!Tim is when he’s portrayed as depressed/very mentally and emotionally unstable, but also at the same time as someone who is like lauded as being super dangerous/the most skilled or something like that?? Those fics where Tim is chugging caffeine and barely sleeping, but characters are still like “oh I wouldn’t wanna piss off Tim he is Dangerous” and that’s annoying enough but then there are fics that at the same time as that portray him as like on the edge of a breakdown. It’s very irritating even if I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why, it just really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I definitely do think Tim has some issues with depression and stuff, but in fics like those it’s treated more like a quirk sort of instead of a serious issue

LMAOO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT i’m not a fan of that either. I’m apologizing in advance if I sound mean in any of this critique i’m about to give of that fanon version of him. I want to preface this by saying that people can write whatever the hell they want, like, they’re allowed to! And I’m not referencing/calling out any specific works here. Just trends. But I’m gonna bitch about some things I’ve noticed that annoy me, personally. (so again, not saying other people can’t enjoy this stuff! just. not for me)

so like sorry if im mean but this is just me ranting and also this is my blog anyways so:

(nobody take this as an attack on them please because it’s really not)

The problem is a lot of those fics seem to interpret Tim’s behavior in Red Robin (& especially like that last whole arc of his Robin run also by FabNic) as if that’s his normal, rather than the result of a few years of CONSTANT traumatic incidents pushing him to a breaking point (because while all the shit he went through with his Dad, Steph, Kon, Bart, and then Bruce dying was spread out over several years for us as readers, it’s regarded as like within two years in canon! It all happens when he’s 16 and 17. According to the Batman comic right after War Games, Jack was murdered only days after Steph died.

(Batman #634)

That’s a LOT to process for one kid jesus christ) 

I love Red Robin honestly, I do, but it is about Tim at the lowest points in his life. It’s the grand finale of Tim’s story, and everything crumbles, that’s kinda the point! The end leaves him in a position to either rebuild himself or fall apart. It’s all about how he chooses to continue after this point!

(Red Robin #26)

The way he acts and the things he does in that comic should be regarded as such. He can’t live the way he does in Red Robin forever or he will literally burn himself out/become something unrecognizable, like, jesus it’s kinda even acknowledged in the comic when he thinks about what his potential futures would be if he keeps it up like he’s doing:

(Red Robin #25)

He sees himself as dead, as Batman (which he has countless times said he doesn’t want to be and at this point in his history almost every time he’s seen a future he became Batman in he had become a killer), or needing to retire and taking over an Oracle-esque role, likely because he exerted himself too much to continue. 

When you look at him around this same timeframe when he’s not isolating himself/too deep into the mission and is instead working with his friends back on the Titans, you can see that he is starting to heal and work in a more positive direction. He’s choosing to work on coming out of this rough period by being together with his friends who he loves.

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

Not to say that you can’t write about situations in which he doesn’t start to come out of it, but if you are doing so it’s something you should be taking seriously because that’s the idea you want to explore, not just acting like it’s perfectly okay or normal? (And again, there are a lot of works that do explore it in good ways, there’s just also a LOT that don’t)

Like, so much content I see just make any sadness and depression and tendency to over-work himself that’s rooted in his traumas (which! those do have a basis in canon!) into a quirky personality trait rather than a response to trauma. Acting as if he’s always been this way and it’s normal for him. That’s what bothers me. If people want to seriously explore the effects of all these incidents and how that plays into his ability to do his job as a hero, then hell yes do it! But when it all gets brushed off as ‘oh thats just tim, he just doesnt eat or sleep or feel any happiness but like its fine he’s just always been like that’ I feel my blood boil. 

This also often strikes me as related/tied to fanon’s seemingly never-ending quest to make Tim into this victim of so many things he really wasn’t. They make his childhood 10x worse than it actually was (yes he was lonely because he was sent to boarding schools rather than having his parents around, but he was NOT just left home alone all the time as a child. 

(Batman #441)

He snuck away during a school vacation week to follow Bruce one (1) time and to then track down Dick. This is established in his introduction story! PLEASE read Lonely Place of Dying!) and it just... going with those fanon assumptions as being true changes so much of how people characterize him! 

Some people will also (not to call out tim/kon shippers especially because I  literally am also one but) vilify the shit out of Steph and make their relationship out to be some abusive thing rather than just... a messy teen relationship between vigilantes because they had really complicated lives and baggage with one another? Which they both acknowledge they made mistakes in!

(Red Robin #10)

Or people will vilify the shit out of Dick in regards to the situation at the start of Red Robin, or literally just make anyone who Tim ever had a disagreement with out to be the bad guy despite the actual situations always being way more complex and multi-faceted than that.

And then on top of all that, aside from making him into this ‘im broken 24/7 and not doing anything to fix it also everyone around me is terrible to me’ type of character, because he’s a lot of people’s favorite, they also want him to be as cool and strong as he is at his high points. So they’re projecting all this stuff onto him that makes him what should be a barely functioning person but then also act like that’s fine and he’s able to be a dangerous badass on top of it. 

Like I’m sorry but someone who is going out and actively acting as a vigilante like that which is incredibly physically taxing is NOT surviving on coffee alone and no sleep. That’s literally not possible, he’d fucking collapse. (And like, again, if you want to explore him pushing himself to that point, that’s one thing! but acting like he can manage all of that for more than a few days at a time/maybe while working on one really tough case is nuts!) and like, even canon can be a little guilty of this type of thing particularly since the New 52 (Detective Comics 2016 had more than a few references to him barely sleeping, but at least they also made references to him eating normally/healthily and he wasn’t completely self isolating or anything) (and also that comic had him be so self sacrificial he was ready to die to save everyone and only didn’t die because of Mr.Oz’s interference, he’s definitely not in his best place there) but usually it’s still within some realm of possibility.

Also like. The fanon ‘chugging coffee to survive thing’ just annoys the shit out of me because, like, yes there’s a few moments in canon where he’s under a lot of pressure and pushing himself further than he normally would and had some coffee (one of the only times I can even remember him having it on panel is... oh... during that last Robin arc I just mentioned a little while ago shouldn’t be where you source your normal characterization of him because it’s a very difficult situation that pushes him further than he normally would go! huh!) But the thing is like, people play it off for laughs, or like it’s a normal thing he would do at any time in his life! If you want to explore him pushing himself and using coffee as a crutch, like, there’s ways you can write it that takes it seriously, but almost every time I see it come up in fics it is like a core part of his personality and just ‘oh haha silly tim always with his entire pot of coffee he must chug every morning or he’ll die :^)’ And that bothers the hell out of me. 

In general it’s just... people treat Tim so weird. They want him to be so many different things that he’s shown himself to be at different times for very specific reasons, except they want him to do all of it at the same time which just doesn’t work. A person can’t function like that, and it’s not even close to who he is in canon. 

Again, people can do what they want, and this is just my opinion obviously, but yeah. My two cents on the matter.  Read Lonely Place of Dying, read Young Justice, read his Robin run. Read his comics and get a feel for who he was before all the rest of his trauma, and see how he canonically reacts to it along the way. I know reading comics can be tough for some people but so much stuff just echo chambers and becomes barely recognizable in this fandom and it’s just... a shame when it happens with a character ya love. 

[jeagerism]

i think im lost again

+ word count : honestly idek, ill take a guess at maybe nearly 700-800?

+ characters : levi ackerman, armin arlert, mentions of eruri and eremin (armin and levi r not shipped fuck out of here)

+ warnings : season 3 attack on titan spoilers, mentions of death, modern!au, levi is basically a dad without being a dad (does that make him a dilf??), angst i suppose

+ summary : erwin was always good at this, levi thinks. people stuck to him like glue.

+ author's note : this is just a personal modern!au headcanon that i ranted to a friend abt and decided to make it full out

in modern aus i see eren as looking up to levi, bc he ooks up to him in the manga in some ways, levi cares abt his wellbeing n shit

well armin, since he was chosen to live over erwin, he'd look up to erwin in a modern au

and when erwin dies in that au bc ofc he has to die, armin is still a teenager.

i like to think that they all lived in the same town as kids, and erwin always looked out for armin since he had no one else other than his friends. 

he basically lets armin live with him when he's not with eren, who also has no family and sort of couch surfs between jean and sasha - sasha's dad loves eren for whatever reason so he stays there a lot, and welcomes armin and mikasa with him - and so erwin and armin r close

and levi is always around, so he sees armin a lot, even if he takes care of eren more - he lets eren stay at is house on nights when he feels like hes overstayed his welcome at sasha’s.

but levi still cares abt armin bc he sees how erwin cares abt armin and levi is in love with the blond facebook dad

but erwin died when armin is like 15, so he still needs someone to look out for him

and erwin asks levi to do that, bc he trusts him and knows levi would take care of him just like he had  

anyways, he asks levi to take care of him and levi does

but armin is a 15 yr old who just lost yet another person who cares abt him 

and even tho hes grateful that levi cares for him, he misses erwin so much. 

he acts out bc of it bc hes a kid going through trauma and its what kids do. he starts acting even worse than eren and eren is a fucking demon spawn

armin and eren share a room, even tho levi had two empty rooms so they could have their own, and eren has stuff in the other room but armin doesn’t like the dark so eren stays there with him.

and levi isn’t really good at taking care of kids in the traditional way. 

he wakes them up every weekday for school by telling them he'll kick their ass if he has to take them himself - but he'll still drive them when it rains or its cold  

he doesnt really know how to cook bc erwin always did that, but his notes app is full of recipes erwin always recommended that were easy to follow bc he was always worried that levi always ate too much cold leftovers from days before and noodles

armin knows hot to cook pretty well bc erwin taught him but he enjoys laughing at levi failing at cooking simple shit - he burned water somehow

but levi still tries so its fine

he tries letting armin know hes welcome, and that he can ask for whatever he needs

he'll leave him lunch money on the counter

and when he notices armins jackets getting a little too short around the wrist he drops a new one by his lap when he sits on the couch

he pulls the blanket all the way to his chin if he falls asleep on the couch.

he'll mention he's going to get a haircut when he notices armin's hair getting longer, and says he can go with him if he wants

but armin still acts so off. 

before erwin was gone, armin always acted happy, even though he never had much, and levi feels guilty knowing he cant do what erwin did for him, but he's doing this for erwin, and knows erwin wouldnt have put armin in his care in the first place if he didn’t trust him

i see taking care of armin as the task that keeps levi going, just like how killing zeke is what keeps him alive in the anime.

both promises he makes to erwin and wont give up on until he’s fulfilled it

but one day armin just disappears. he doesnt come back after school with eren like usual. so he and levi try calling him and get nothing. eren offers to go look for him and levi tells him to stay safe n waits back home to see if armin will show up there

and he does like 5 mins after eren leaves. 

and levi feels his chest just deflate with relief. it was cold outside, and armin was out there alone. 

his cheeks and nose r red from being outside for so long

when levi asks where he's been, it comes out harsher than he meant, but its just bc he was worried, and armin rolls his eyes and asks why it matters

levi tells him its bc he's a kid and doesnt get to just disappear without a trace whenever he wants. levi never minded armin doing whatever he wanted - within regulation - but most times he knew eren was with him, or mikasa, someone who would call him if something happened

and armin says “you're not my father.” and starts taking off his jacket and stuff

“yeah, but i am the person who's taking care of your ass.”

and that seems to make armin a little more ticked off than he already was, bc he turns to levi and says, “well i never asked you to do that.”

to which levi replies without thinking, “no but erwin did”

levi and armin never talk abt erwin, ever.

its like an unspoken rule between them. its not that they arent as comfortable with each other - they arent anyways but - they just dont do that, talk abt how they feel abt erwin, and him being gone

armin looks like hes gonna cry before he just says “well i wish it was erwin that was still here instead of you”

ALMOST AS IF HES SAYING HE WISHED IT WAS LEVI THAT DIED INSTEADDD

and levi is suprised that armin would ever, it hurts a little, and he just nods in agreement and says “me too.”

armin doesnt say anything back to it, he just turns and makes his way to his room, slamming the door behind him

and levi is exhausted. in his head he wonders how erwin had done it - balanced college and a job and a fucking teenager 

but then he remembers that erwin was erwin, and hed always been good at that type of thing

people stuck to him like glue

thats the first night he lets himself admit that he misses him

he feels like he’s failing at the one thing erwin asked of him

when eren shows back up, levi apologizes for not letting him know that armin had came back

but eren just tells him that armin had texted him when he’d arrived - i have a hc that eren and armin were each others first crushes but uhebdbsi

he tells levi that armin had said hed went to the beach

erwin used to take armin to the beach all the time before he died

he’d collect shells with him, and the ones that armin really liked, he’d give them names

he still has one called smith from the last time erwin had taken him to see the ocean

a few weeks go by after that

they never really talked before, but now it seems almost even worse

the silence that they normally exist in feels empty

but everything felt empty without erwin

eren lets levi know where theyre going to be whenever theyre not home, when theyll be home, etc

levi never asked for him to do that, but he does it anyways

levi’s thankful for the near suicidal maniac at that point

even though he always was

he saw a lot of himself in eren, and he sees a lot of himself in armin too

levi and armin never really apologize to each other, but one night when levi’s attempting to cook, armin walks in the kitchen and watches him place things on a pan

“you’re putting them too close together.”

armin steps beside him and tilts his head to the side, as if hes gesturing for levi to move

and he does, letting the younger and taller boy move the prerolled croissants further away from each other on the baking tray

“they never wouldve cooked all the way through like that,” armin tells him

with a scoff, levi mumbles that he sounds like erwin

armin pauses for a second, before sliding the pan in the oven. levi tells him how long the packaging said they went on so that he can set the oven timer

armin sets it for two minutes longer, and levi’s heart aches

erwin did that, too

“i miss him”

it slips out without him meaning for it to

and he thinks he’s ruined armin’s head again, when he’s supposed to be someone this kid can look up to

but he doesnt leave

armin just leans against the oven and nods “me, too”

after that, things arent bad anymore

sure, it takes awhile for them to completely warm up to each other, but they manage

enough that armin sits in on levi’s cooking sessions just to point out what hes doing wrong - something that helps, bc pretty soon levi is learning

he cooks him, armin, and eren an entire meal without burning anything

eren laughs when armin tells him that the man had forgotten to grab an oven mit and had stuck his entire hand in the oven to grab a pan

levi raises his eyebrow when he notices the way armin blushes at eren’s laugh, of all things

and they talk abt erwin more

they have more to say about him that eren, and its just something the two of them share, so they tend to save it for little moments, tiny snippets of things that remind them of the blond

after about a year, things are good

armin asks to have his 17th birthday at the beach, and who would levi be to say no

levi doesnt particularly like the beach, he detests sand, but its for armin, so he’ll do it

its for his kid

him and erwins kid

at the party, he finds a smile coming to his face when he sees armin actually laughing and having fun

kid had been through too much hell at 17, so he deserved to be happy, even if it was only for a few moments

on their way home that evening, eren and armin passed out from a day of swimming and running on the beach - levi made the both of them bring extra towels to save his car seats from salt water and sand

eren’s head is on armin’s shoulder, and the blond’s is resting atop eren’s head

when they get home, the two of them trudge towards their room, but armin turns and holds his closed fist out to levi

with a raised eyebrow, levi holds his hand out and lets armin drop something into his hand, before the boy pivots and continues his shuffle to his and eren’s shared room

levi glances down at the object in his hand

its a shell

armin names it erwin

[ddamiqn]

so. let’s tackle batfam height (and imo, some misconceptions and fanon.) 

((quick note: i know hcs exist. i know other arguments and analysis on why X Y Z should and is going to happen. i’m taking pure canon--with a bit of guesstimation as u can see, aka logical assumptions based on evidence--right now people, but i know different people can interpret the same thing differently. basically im not trying to attack anyone or make their fanon interpretations invalid. pretty please don’t start discourse or anything, i know and recognize all in all none of this doesnt really matter but . yeah))

tim drake is small. (like 5′4″ and below small) - nope. 

the most recent ultimate character’s guide puts him at 5′6″. 

past versions have put him at 5′4″/5′5″ or whatever, but i’m assuming those are both older in real life and in canon as well, plus are talking about tim when he’s younger. 

someone claims that in current canon tim is 5’9”, 140 lbs instead of his current one of 5′6″ 125lbs,  which honestly makes the most sense to me bc of the below panel, but i cant find a reference. it says its from (Batman Family Vol 2 #5 page 2) but i cant find it?? so thats the only reason why that aint up there. what does back me up is the below tho--  ((from detective comics issue something or other. its part of the gotham knights arc, right after tim comes back from the ‘dead’ aka mr. oz)

cass is 5′5″. he is clearly taller than cass

btw. honestly he should be about 5′11″ here and in my original post on twitter i said he was 5′11″ bc of the nu52 batman beyond, but i don’t have a source for that and i cant find whatever evidence i had for that too.

BUT i know canonly tim ends up 6′0″ in multiple universes such as arkhamverse and future’s end (2016, the most recent rebirth version). so it makes sense tbh

damian will end up tall and stacked like his dad - nope. 

contrary to popular belief and fanon that is taken as canon, damian does not end up tall. 

(tall is relative but when you’re 5′4″ like me that’s tall ok)

i think the reason why so many people hc damian as becoming a big ol tank like his dad is because of batman in bethleham/666 universe and the heretic.

 there’s no given height for him in the 666!verse (but most people assume it’s tall i guess) and the heretic--who is not damian--is 7′4″. reminder the heretic was absolutely nerfed from birth to be a weapon; the same can be said for damian, but he wasn’t altered and dehumanized quite to the extent of the heretic. he also was intubated in the belly of a whale, people. he emerged Huge

in reality, according to the little canon we have about future universes, damian is... actually kinda small. injustice 2 puts him at 5′10″ / 177cm, the same height as canon dick grayson, and when i guesstimated his height in future’s end i got roughly the same thing. see below

bruce is 6′2″ so i made sure he was approx that height, giving me damian’s height of around 5′9″ish. the argument that this is a flashback tho and that he could have still grown (bc i dont think we know if he’s in his late teens/early 20s/stopped growing) i also grabbed a panel from the ‘current’ time aka 5 years in the future.

once again, same dealio except i moved damian down a little bit (a bit too far, actually) after matching bruce up bc they were both on an incline and--ignoring my mistake--damian once again is about 5′10″ish and very clearly not a tank like his dad. he has a body type more like his mama-- slim and lithe.

imo it’s a combination of the body types from his parents, his abusive childhood with the LoA, his multiple deaths and metal spine plus other long lasting injuries that stunt his growth. sure, he was meant to be the paragon of human perfection but, uh, ra’s didn’t account for Trauma points  

summary time, according to canon: 

tim is not teeny tiny. he is 5′6″ and will most likely grow up to be 6′0″. 

damian ain’t gonna be a tank. he’s gonna be 5′10″ at best and as you can see from the above, at the very least slim compared to his baba. 

references include: injustice 2, batman beyond (2016), nu52 future’s end, teen titans of tomorrow, detective comics, ultimate characters guide old + new 2019 edition

((yes i know canon can change + there basically is no real canon, yes i know artists interpret different characters differently and all the other arguments. i’m not saying that you can headcanon tim as small and damian as a future tank, what i’m saying is you can’t claim it’s canon when as of now it’s not.)) 

[archer3-13]

attack on titan [the manga] is over basically i guess, unless a wrap up or time jump ch140 comes out, but for all practical purposes its done and dusted. and welll... it basically ended exactly as i thought it might.

what i liked:

its not a clean wrap up, the possibility for future conflict is kept wide open and it doesnt pretend otherwise which is more in line with the kind of story AOT is

the total removal of titan power, which again is good and in line with the kind of story AOT is. its a way of helping cap things off without ruining the open ended aspects of future conflict

that there is acknowledgement that erens crimes are to egregious to allow him to live. there other ways i feel the ending bungles here but i do appreciate that it isnt shied away from that eren had to be dead at the end of all this. and he is dead, and he stays dead which is definitely for the best

the resolve of the remaining characters [in armins circle anyways] to actually fix things and prevent future conflict through peaceful means and negotiation contrasted by the shadow the yagerists and the destroyed world present

armin defusing the situation with the surviving marley soldiers so quickly

gabi suplexing falco which is hilarious

what i did not like:

like i mentioned, i like that there acknowledgement that erens crimes are too egregious to let him live narratively speaking. However, the ending spoils this to an extent by trying to have its cake and eat it too, with the characters close to eren remarking about the nobility of erens sacrifice because pre destiny determined by weird little girl who was in love with some asshole and this was all for the sake of his friends or whatever and blahdda blahdda blah. its frankly needless cartwheeling to both try and deemphasize erens culpability in his crimes by positioning him as a messiah saviour of sorts and as someone with no control over his actions. and i say needless because the narrative doesnt cartwheel like this in regards to other characters bad choices, reinar despite having more compelling circumstances behind his motivations for his own crimes for instance is made to own up to and bear those choices even if he isnt ultimately punished for them. Eren despite pulling off something even worse and for pettier reasons with less extenuating pressures behind those decisions [because, tbf he didnt need to do this shit and the narrative knows it] is given narrative reprieve to an extent for his own crimes even if he is punished for them. in short, i feel the grieving over erens nobility is stupid, lazy, cheap and overall sours things for me

and on a related note, i probably wouldn't harp on that as much if the hard statistic of 80% of the world population being killed and the majority of forests/resources being destroyed in the process hadn't been brought up. a statistic i feel works in the sense of erens crimes being totally unforgivable but feels weird given the previously mentioned aspects of saviourfication and victimhood thats also instilled there. and on a more practical sense, i feel 80% is way to fucking high of a percentage to just bung in there. its easier as a quick illustrative measure to emphasize the sheer scale of erens crimes, but for comparisons sake 80% of earths population suddenly dying would be 6,139,200,000 people dying in the relatively short timeframe the rumbling is presented in. thats just needlessly gratuitous at the end of the day, like a lot of AOT really, but it especially makes the sentimentality thats shoved in over eren feel in poor taste. i feel 40% would have felt more reasonable a scale if we really needed to wax about erens nobility during the same breath as opposed to just accepting that hes done a horrible thing

shoving so much of the surviving cast onto a boat in suits felt like a quick way to sort out their 'where are they now' ending shots without actually having to come up with things for them individually that makes sense or feels satisfying. Like yes i appreciate that armins trying to fix the shit eren broke even a little but did almost everyone need to be there when we could have had say jean relaxing in peace setting up a family somewhere

gabi and falco taking care of an injured levi is sweet but feels rather left field. like, what is going on here why did this happen? what is the story behind these characters hanging out like this

not letting mikasa move on from eren was dumb and stupid and infuriatingly reductive. im not asking for her to hook up with anyone, in fact i do like that she isnt just settling down with some man and playing house like a certain other shonen manga. i hate though that its framed in the sense of her never getting over eren being why she isn't hooking up, because it tanks her characters promised growth of coming into her own by having her hung up on eren and erens desires

and yeah thats about it.

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 21-25

almost halfway done lads how we feelin'

episode 21: the red glow

ah yes barry

"i'm alphonse elric!!!!!" yes u r baby!!!

who just popped over the wall

scar im assuming

"i kill therefore i am".....barry spouting descartes rn

it was scar haha

um

hi greed

thought i saw you earlier

WHY DID THEY DRAW HIS ARMS THAT LONG

ope he found the chimera crew...

jerry jewell's evil laugh gets me every time lmao he's so great

ed has deep philosophical talks bro

also ed is chaotic but his personal morals are unshakeable

who are these prison guards gonna release

oh hey kimblee

oh hey squad

ed take out ur pokeball

um wth is that

OH MY GOD TUCKER WHAT

EW

I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIANT YODA OR A SWAMP MONSTER

he looks FUCKKEDDDD

bro of all the things i was not expecting him

oof ishval flashbacks

young scar why is your hair brown

why is it white now

WHY IS HE NAKED

whos her

lust 1.0 im assuming

ew omg tucker is literally so fuckin nasty lookin idk

idk why but he's worse than rod reiss titan for me

wait a damn minute

wait a damn fucking minute

goddamnit

what is GOIN ON

i need tucker to stop whispering he sounds like fucking voldemort on the back of quirrells head

jesus

episode 22: created human

hughes' pajamas look like armin's futon from aot junior high

the bad place???? was that greed's prison gluttony was lookin at?

im still shook af over tucker and tbh its been like 24 hours since i watched episode 21

STOP WHISPERING TUCKER

driving me up a wall

my poor son looks so tired :(

those moral principles at it again

bradley.......

ewww the way tucker walks STOP

hi envy!!!!!

so all of those prisoner guys gonna get flattened by some alchemy

hey kimblee!!!

so did greed escape with the homies???? cause i feel like he would have made his presence known already....

i feel like im missing a lot because im a ding dong

musty prison kimblee is kinda...hot....physically speaking..oops..personality wise obviously there's MUCH to work on

so envy knows hohenheim

ED BABY

he won't do it

oh no alphonse

oh god memory implants

al's identity crisis CONTINUES

they wanna become humans??? huh....doesnt really make sense for their characters...(maybe envy but more on that at 11)

is ed gonna kill these guys for al

some1!!!!!! hold!!!!! me!!!! im so stressed

is he pretending to do it and he's got another plan up his sleeve!!!!????

honestly he's so depressed i cant even tell

those unshakable moral principles at work again i see

the red water can turn ed into a god???? wtf ed doesnt want to be a god he wants to punch god

oh theres the greed squad! i found them!!! is kimblee joining up with them

maria girly!!!!!!!

THE HOMUNCULI IN THEIR STUPID UNIFORMS I--

who's the lady. i need 2 know.

episode 23: fullmetal heart

alphonse is destroyed again

poor kid

"edward sir" brosh pls!!!

oh excuse me--- ***Bloch

The Ross Slap™

winry <3

pinako takes no prisoners

ed didnt you JUST tell brosh and ross they might be right that you needed to trust adults with more shit and now youre blowing off hughes

ed's DRAWINGS im-

hi sig hi izumi!!!

al is so sad over there in that corner

poor baby son

sometimes i feel like hughes and mustang are ed and al's divorced dads

the little arakawa avatar cows in the back im CRYING!!!!!!!

“bean”

snappy al

ooffffffff

omg hughes plz

elicia is precious though we love her

"dad's friend the bookworm" omg sheska

awwww gracia made edward a cake!!!!!!!

god catch me cryin in the club

CONGRATULATIONS

"whatever" al im crying he's so sad

AL MADE BROSH OR WHOEVER CARRY HIS DESTROYED ARMOR TO THE ROOF IM ACTUALLY YELLING

"you goof"

yes winry you are correct boy is a goof

sir you are being so dramatic

give that baby a hug

"so called brother"

so we all know that was a knife through the heart for ed

al just jumped off a FUCKING ROOF and ED TRIED TO FOLLOW

so im crying

i liked this better when they HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT AL'S FEARS AND MADE THE FUCK UP

episode 24: bonding memories

guess we're gonna play w my emotions again

sometimes like....one bit characters talk...like villager b ya know? and im like who are you i know that voice

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again

and barry for some reason

aww poor al

youre real you are!!!!!!

i just feel like people would know people that wear sunglasses in the rain would be ishvalan

but what do i know

obviously they dont have the white hair thing in this version

poor ed is so sad

these boys need a hug 

let me just *pulls out adoption papers*

well if scar doesnt have queen mei to adopt in 03, he’s got this little toothless boy

dont lie al you do care

ew i dont like her

the drama of this boy

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again part 2

apparently they are *mercenaries??? excuse me

i have some questions regarding this kid’s mom

well you know i can see why this kid feels this way about his mom

it does look like she ran off...

al and scar dream team up

HEY ED!!! HEY WINRY!!!

bout time

yall gonna have this talk now????

barry STOPPPPPP

brotherhood barry is the true king there i said it

damn scar you baddie

barry like....you already knew him

anyway

WHAT THE HELL

NO RICKKK!!!!!!

someone save this boy!!!!

oh good his mom “saved” him

ah damn thats pretty tragic

she didnt know they were right in front of her

ow

well my questions were answered

so she attacks with grape fanta. thats one way to do it

ed looks like such an angry gremlin right now this is a heartwarming moment sir please

why are ed and scar being so civil right now this is so weird

bye scar

we’ll see him again

see you later scar

episode 25: words of farewell

maes who let you buy that awful pink suit 

gracia please it better not have been you

mustang ew please

dont open the door lookin like that

what the hell are you doing in here 

so hughes WASNT in ishval here?

i think that takes a lot away from his character but anyway

bradley hangs around like a creep at every possible instant

why would bradley care about ishvalan refugees like hughes cmon

“unspeakable crimes” BRADLEY YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TALK

juliet douglas is this lady’s name

only took me 1000 episodes to figure that out

ED AND AL??? NOT DEALING WITH DANGEROUS THINGS??????? dont make me laugh assholes theyre lying thru their teeth

izumi time lets go

wow we’re still going to rush valley? wasnt really expecting that tbh

elicia i LOVE you!!!!!

ew kimblee “hi”

how did he lightning himself like that

if i were ishvalan i would not go to the south....yet ANOTHER war torn region of amestris but ok

okay

an amestrian desert biker gang rolled up to wreak havoc

HUGHES AHAHAHA 

tbh i wouldnt want to tell roy anything either stupid bitch

anyway

um why do i feel like its hughes’ death episode

he would not be shown tucking elicia in to bed otherwise 

please im not ready to be hurt again

oh no

yeah he just learned something about our girl juliet

ive been waiting for this information 

he’s gonna die before we learn anything helpful

yupppppp

hey lust figured you’d show up sooner or later

i too wish i could look that sexy pulling a kunai out of my forehead

SLOTH????????

did girly just say SLOTH

i- nothing about her seems particularly slothy but ok

u know what!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENVY HEYYY

DUMBASS ROY JUST HAAAAAD TO LEAVE

haha famous last words

oof it hurts every time

not the FUNERAL scene no!

time for me to go 

peace out homies im dead inside

yes my brigadier general 

NOT THE RAIN

COME ONNNNNN

hughes is sneezing six feet under

was ed supposed to be looking at hughes’ ghost

um....right

[decayingdirk]

2022 predictions but its only animation stuff because live action just hasnt been it for me recently:

animation hyperfixations of 2022 (new stuff only):

major: the boondocks reboot if it's bad, tmnt (i get to add it here cause its getting a movie but technically its already got a fanbase), blue lock, chainsaw man

minor: the boondocks reboot if its good (it deserves better), angry birds (i hate this), supernatural academy (the fanbase will be similar to miraculous ladybug, but at the size of tales of arcadia probably? trends when new stuff comes out, pretty much dead otherwise), gross girls, spy x family, link click (its already been talked about a bit but i think its gonna get a more solid fanbase)

western animation predictions:

stuff that will be good: the house (stop-mo, connected short stories, netflix), new spiderverse, DC league of super pets (surprisingly) (the animation will be boring tho), lightyear, puss in boots: the last wish (this is just hope tbh), Wendell and wild (stop-mo, Selick is on it), the sea beast (hope)

stuff that will not be good but ill wish it was: turning red (please let me be wrong), bad guys (i like the steps away from mass media 3d animation though), bob's burgers movie (disney has it. at least itll be 2d ig), strange world (it's the director and a writer from raya, which was full of squandered potential), blazing samurai (if anyone watches it)

stuff that will get attention like it's good but won't be: hotel transylvania, minions: rise of gru (but you already knew that), the mario film, the night at the museum animated movie, pinocchio (the animated one) (theres gonna be both a live action and an animated one this year lol) (also its directed by del toro??? who just released a live action pinocchio also??? the fuck)

this is mostly big studio stuff cause i dont wanna look for every fuckin animation project thats coming out so. whatever it is will fall into one of these categories cause big studio animation doesnt really get universally disliked it just stops being talked about. so no “its just bad” category for you.

eastern animation predictions:

donghua has already been getting more popular and its only gonna kick up. finally. 

manhwa will follow but maybe less? probably wont REALLY get going till 2023 but it is coming. finally.

stuff that will be good: chainsaw man (if it isnt... yes it is.), tiger & bunny s2 (PLEASE. PLEASE), cyberpunk: edgerunners (itll get bad reviews but i will like it), dragon ball super: superhero, spy x family (they cant fuck this up its too camp. even if its bad itll be good), tokyo revengers s2 (itll be average), blue lock, the genius prince’s guide to raising a nation out of debt, the orbital children, demon slayer s2 (dont see how they could fuck this up tbh), girls’ frontline (maybe?), link click s2, daily life of the immortal king s3 (might just be mediocre)

stuff that will not be good but ill wish it was: uzumaki (itll be fine but like in no way better than the manga), arifureta s2, sabikui bisco (honestly i prob wont even watch it cause i dont usually like post-apoc anime but this is my gut feeling), sasaki and miyano (i will eat my fucking shoe if someone does a slice of life comedy BL well), requiem of the rose king (honestly just dont wanna get my hopes up that theyll do intersex rep well)

stuff that will get attention like its good but wont be: new my hero academia content (it fell off a while ago guys cmon), dragon ball super: superhero (gotta be safe), kakegurui twin,  attack on titan: final season part 2 (i dont even watch aot anymore but its an ending i doubt theyll do justice to), heaven official’s blessing s2 (ive read the novel it cant be good when i know theyre removing the mlm stuff)

its just bad: spriggan (ive heard the manga’s good but the anime just. wont be.), my dress-up darling (this will probably just be my personal opinion lol it could very well be objectively well made and i just dont like it),  love of kill (consent? doubt it)

[mysticalwingedwolf]

My own little tradition

I already now like maybe 4 of you are acctually going to read all of this. So thank you so much for reading it and i hope you might also get to try my little tradition. So tomarrow is the first day of high school and my last first day of highschool being a sinor this year ((if that doesnt hint at my age i dont know what else to day lol)) well ever first day people usually dress up in styles amazing new cloths to show the crowd how cool they are. Well as a kid I couldnt aford new cloths so my mom would always try her best to help me look cute but i stuggled. Now its all up to my dad, and knowing all new single dads they are not very nowing of girl fation so my dad told me to stand out yo be myself. I told him i liked to cosplay, and so thats what i did the first day of school. I was a wolf, i had a tail and ears and i was very happy freshmen year was a blast and i made real friends because the fakes didnt want to come near me because they thought i was too strange untill they actually got to know me and by the end of the year i new everyone in school ^^. Next was sophmore year. Where i love freshmen is tecnacly still middle school so I was finnaly at the highschool building. That summer i had gone to a con and actually had cosplay ^^ I was an attack on titan Soldier of the scouts regimen. With my jacket proudly wearing the wings of freedom. I also started a clue called the animation club ((best club ever)) made tones of new friends ones i will have till death Next Junior year, hardest year because this is where the colleges, look at the most. That year i though i would show i had my game on and was Luigi i had the hat ((got last halloween)) i had a green shirt and overalls ^^ and it was a blast i had to much fun jumping up and down the halls lol. Now I am a sinor, i dont look it at all lol, and I was swap sans for halloween the year before and i cant wear masks to school so im going to sum up every cosplay i have worn through out high school ^^ i going to have my AOT jacket, my Bluberry sans cap, my frisk shirt and my striped tail ((that ive stoped trying to explain is not a tiger tail its a striped wolf sigh)) I am almost a 100% sure im going to get suspended or asked to take off the tail and cap, because in my school people see that as a “distraction” and well thats punisible by suspention *shurg* if that makes sence. Well have never been suspended in my life so i guess i will be starting out the year with a BANG lol. Well thank you so much for reading my little tradition that i do for the first day of school. It has always been fun and always kept the fake people away, ya i was teased about it but I would always laugh and ask if thats the best they got and if things got violent i wasn’t afraid to tell the school. This has always been the number one thing ive looked forward too ya i may not be populare but because of that I now all the people that are fun and worth knowing ^^ and thats worth it. Plus I get to meet others who like stuff like me and make the new kids coming in less scared and nervous. They think “well at lest I’m not her so i should be safe” and if thats makes them more happy to come to school im very happy to have fun and help them while doing so. Cosplaying for the first day is just better and makes you uniqu from the other and shows the good people that your a fun loving person with out having to talk to you and that really helps in the long run in making friends. I hope you’ve enjoyed lisening to my little trudition and i hope maybe one of you may tell someone about it or give it a try them selfs. X3 maybe even get all your close friends to join you ^^ well its 11 so im off to bed I hope you all have a wonderful night/day and I’ll talk to all you next time x3 And remeber to always have fun it what your doing

Hi potato Im a fruit lol

[calangkoh]

since im rekindling my love of percy jackson and the olympians, here’s some au stuff ive thought of:

-our golden trio at the beginning is ed and al (sons of pluto) and winry (daughter of hephaestus). ignore the complications of ed and al being sons of a roman god and going to camp half blood. i need it to be pluto since hades doesnt have the “precious metals” attribute to his name. (In the pjo universe the roman and greek gods are kind of the same entities but not.) eye color is an important thing in the pjo universe, and pluto is associated with gold, hence golden-eyed elrics. -they want their momma back after she dies so they try to bargain. hey death is their turf after all. but whoops the bargain goes wrong and ed loses a leg and al is taken to the underworld. ed and his neighbor winry are taken to chb. there winry instantly feels at home and she and her siblings make automail for ed. ed spends time in the hermes cabin with the head, ling, and all his siblings, since ed has not yet been claimed. -ed is claimed during capture the flag when he basically earthbends out of self defense. Theres no hades cabin at chb, so he’s instantly isolated. -meanwhile hades is accused of having zeus’s lightning bolt, and ed is accused of stealing it. Chiron suggests ed goes on a quest. Ed goes, but only to get Al back from the underworld. He leaves despite Winry wanting to come, but Winry catches up with him later along with russell from the demeter cabin (that or athena, but making it demeter keeps the rivalry between their parents plus PLANTS) and then the adventure begins with our new trio -plot happens and we get to the underworld where they realize ares is to blame. Ed battles ares and wins, and eventually gets al back from the underworld, but loses his arm in the process (gosh darn it ed) -they return to camp and its revealed ling had stolen the bolt and manipulated ares, because he believes the gods deserve to fall. They have kid after kid and pay no attention to them, and Ling believe that siding with Kronos will let him get to do the world over again. He attacks ed before fleeing camp, and the plot of the series begins. -side fletchmei. Fletcher is essentially charles beckendorf who dies on a mission. mei is at first a spy for the titans because she looks up to luke like a brother but once fletcher dies she sides with the gods again. THAT OR fletcher is thalia who was turned into a tree (see below) -alwin and russed are endgame, angsty russedling drama but eventually ed has to give ling his sword (the cursed blade, Fullmetal lol) to kill himself to stop Kronos -the original trio (the thalia gang) were russell, fletcher, ling, plus whoever would be thalia. Either thats fletcher, or we cast someone as daughter/son of zeus but we dont really NEED another big three kid in this au since we already have both ed and al being contenders of the prophecy

thats all i got for now

[commiemoth]

bbbb all of the adorable asks are so cute >////

Bbbbb im happy i answer!! >\

2- my favorite color use to be purple definitively but now i cant choose unless its color combinations, my current favorites are: cyan + red, bronze + patina-green, silver + deep blue, black + cyan or neon blue, black + gold, white + goldIf i Really Really had to choose only one tho i think it would depend on my mood? Blue for sad, deep blue for calm, gold for energetic/confident, cyan for floaty, silver for dissociating?

3- no but!!!! I really want to! As soon as im out of my parents house im gonna do eyeshadow all the time as soon as i learn how! (Hopefully ollie can teach me because their eyeshadow looks are fucking #Iconic)

4- Yes yes yes!!!! In love right now and its better than ever before!!

5- ive been hesitant about this because last time i thought this it ended b a d l y but!! This time feels really different! I feel the connection and honestly i think yes!!

6- i think when im by myself im incredibly pessimistic and realist and accepting of it but with most other people im very optimistic for them i think? Even if im not for myself :/

7- ive had my first kiss already unfortunately :/but! First kiss with someone who actually cares and loves and respects u is completely different!! So my ideal first kiss would probably be leik after a moment of really spontaneous and overwhelming happiness between us? I think it would feel natural and comftorable and nice even if we’d both be awkward blushy babies about it >\\

24- ive gotten my nails painted before it was really nice! Im going to start doing it regularly once im out of the house and i hope ill eventually be gud enough to paint little designs on them!

25- idk wat this is asking leik, confessed wat? Id think yes and leik if confessed just as in telling something they wouldnt tell anyone else then yes, im honored that someone places that much trust in me when they do and i try to protect the secret/confession with my life

26- gggggg i used to lie so much all the time leik little lies to make myself more interesting/cooler but i dont do that anymore thank gosh, i only lie now to protect someone’s safety/identity , protect my own safety, or when talking to adults because i dont trust them, when its morally justifiable, or when ive been asked too by a confidant

27- ollie!!! (Everything about them) and also songs that are really energetic and (happily) nostalgic for me, and also cute animals! Or hanging out and havin a gud laugh with friends, im more likely to smile in stress free environments!

28- ggggg gosh i cry all the time in books and movies, i cried at finding dory, and at guardians of the galaxy vol 2, and at swiss army man, and at steven universe a lot, and at attack on titan sometimes when i used to watch it (not anymore) anything i read that has a major character death makes me cry, i cried at the Dragons overwatch short for hanzo and genji, im big baby :/

29- i think i had a crush on a girl in elementary school when i was still straight and she was the most popular pretty girl in school, boring het stuff :/

30- marriage sounds really nice! Not that important tho it just seems leik part of the whole big thing of the different levels of “making it official” but it would be nice and fun!!! Kids are scary! Too much responsibilty and i, kinda dont leik them :/

31- im very superstitious sometimes, a couple years ago i saw the picture of the russian sleep experiment creepy pasta and its haunted me and my halfasleep mind until a few months ago last year thats not really superstitious i guess but im always very irrational about things leik that, leik if a noise happens at night then my brain goes: “its the [a creepy picture i saw that day] monster here to get you” and it really sucks sometimes but ive been a little bette with it lately! (Ps, Do Not look up the russian sleep experiment, it might not be the same for you but it was terrifying for me and had a lasting effect)

32- my 3am thoughts are ollie!! Its much better thinking about cuddling them instead of thinking about if everyone i know hates me secretly or wat went wrong on that particular day (although ive been doing better on that too)

33- i leik candy a lot!! My favorites are snickers, swedish fish, cinnamon gumdrops, chocolate (either chili or caramel), jolly ranchers, skittles, and sometimes airheads, i used to l o v e poprocks but i dont see then around anymore :l

34- halloween!!! Its my favorite time because its not too cold to have to stay inside and still cold enough for cool fashion options and also halloween itself!! Its fun! :D

35- my favorite season is winter!! It lets me stay inside and watch the pretty snow while i drink hot cocoa and play video games :3 fall is a close second!! Most of fall is cool enough to still be outside and the cold weather suits me even if its sometimes gives me colds!

36- i feel leik a dog would help me be happier because they generally more energetic? But a cat suits my personality much better and i feel leik we might get along a little easier , both are gud and no preference tho!!!

37- im really quiet i think!! I try not to talk at all unless its with people i already know, but the more comftorable i am with someone the louder i am with them!!

38- my favorite time period is medeival or far-future! Medieval only when in fantasy with dragons and magic and stuff because Real medieval times kinda sucked but: the knights! The samurai! And far future because space travel and sightseeing on distant planets!!

39- bowties? There still kind of around tho i guess, cloaks and swords or also full plate armor (bring! Them! Back!)

40- hhhhh i never remember my dreams but the worst nightmares are where i wake up and cant breathe leik sleep paralysis im pretty sure (that combined with russian sleep experiment is h e l l but thankfully that doesnt really happen anymore) and the best dreams ive had are when ollie is in them!!

41- i used to be really afraid the dark but im still sometimes just as afraid so i guess that doesnt count? I used to have dreams where the little one eyed dudes id make out of my erasers would turn evil and stand on my chest and id wake up with sleep paralisys so? Thats something i guess :/

42-43 are skipped in the list?

44- i try my best!! Ollie knows :> im [Incapable] of flirting with anyone if they dont also flirt with me and i know that they leik me too tho so i havent been flirting much the past couple years till now :l

45- my style currently is kinda blandish i think? Dark or cool colors with a graphic teeshirt (sometimes of things that i dont even leik anymore) and black or blue skinny jeans (sometimes a bleached white pair, theyre my favorite) and some matching color of converse, sometimes i wear flannels or button ups and sometimes bowties too! But not as often

Ideal style: crop top, flannel, sunglasses, short short jean shorts, cool socks that go past my knees, matching converse!

46- hell yeah i blush!!!!!!!!! Sometimes i blush when people are really nice to me but most times its from romantic stuff because i get flustered and blushy So Easily!!

47- every once in a while my depression comes back and most of the time it doesnt stay for lomg but while its here i feel everything at once while wanting to feel nothing and its so overwhelming or i feel nothing at all while wanting to feel at least one thing and it makes my heart hurt, most of the time tho i lean more on the side of feeling everything! Feelings are gud and i leik them!!!

48- im definently a crier! Cried basically for 3 years straight, but ive only cried happy crying a couple times, definitely a few tho, i smile a lot! I think! I try to, i think smiles are really nice and there needs to be more of them in the world, ive been smiling a lot more the past couple months for sure :3Thanks for askin and!! @got to answer the same asks! Not all if u dont want to but just the ones u want :>

[mceproductions]

December 2018 Blurbs

12/1/18 The final Chapter on 2018's book began with me checking out the sequel to Wreck It Ralph. And it was Near perfect in every way possible. What wasn't was my drive back and the snowstorm that laid waste to the road, never had driven in snow that bad until today. Honestly was shaking for nealry 20 miles. Luckilly came back in time to see Bama win in epic fashion. I may not like them but they are #1. UCF won as well hopeful they can make the jump. 12/2/18 Connor ended up picking up a new kitten, he and Amber named Nelson. Now I know how Peele felt in Keanu. That cat was adorable and so sweet to be around. Especially that poofball tail. Packers stink as usual to the point where McCarthy got fired during his postgame press conference. Bama, Clemson, and Oklahoma will batlle on the 29th to see who gets the chance to play in Santa Clara. Notre Dame will join them, this should be expanded by all counts. 12/3/18 Andrew has another job, this one late at night. Hoping he'll stick this out. Heisman this year went down to the 3 QB's from Bama, Oklahoma and Ohio State. Wonder how the finalst math is done to drop the number from 5 to 3. Gifts need to be sent out to Eric and Company soon. New Tree skirt looks hopefully ok. 12/4/18 Stuff can take the cake really quickly when it comes to life. Connor apparently has broken things off with Amber now his gut is killing him. Karma at its finest people. Other than that, I don't mind having to get called out to do carts what irks me is when someone like Cole, drops off so I'm completley alone out there. His weaseled out method just really iritates me more. Bowl Mercahndise looking rather dull this year, may save money along those lines. 12/5/18 Well, Connor may have gut problems like me. The real kicker is how incompitent our hospital is here, and how they were throwing in words like liver failure and appendix issues. Grabbed mounted photo which allowed me to finish wrapping the gifts to be sent out to Eric and them. Hopeful that Eli Like gummi Bears. Main gift hunting will begin next week. Do love Holiday seaons, and all that they entail. 12/6/18 The cat may be be cute, but Connor breaking, entering and placing him on me in the middle of the night. Nope. He, can really take the cake when it comes to not knowing how to amicably end a relationship. Rebought Hobbit and that gave me, Legos for the first time in 15 Years. Will only get the Target lego hobbit editons and that will be it. Survey for class is adjusted and will hopefully be done by weekends end. Seminar I still have to do, hoping Dad will give a hand with that. Looking forward to Mamoa on SNL. 12/7/18 Pearl Harbor, a tragic event that led to a worse movie. But on this day there should be a new atalige on when it rains it pours for the winter. I call it When it snows it bursts, cause we all had issues today. Bravada may have a frozen gear shift. Eric lost another girlfriend, Connor may be out of a job, and Andrew may actually be doing better than any of us for once. This is a burst of bad luck. 12/8/18 A day that i had originally set out to do nothing now had me doing even less, thanks to the Bum gear shift. Not sure how we can fix that, other vehicle still waits in the wings. Watched more SpongeBob then i had in a long time wow I missed a bunch. Could really use some good in these next few days. 12/9/18 Packers finally won, just need miracles to happen in order to squeak into wild card. Vehicles e break lite may give me clue in order to fix it. Winter and Christmas need to show up quicker cause it certainly doesnt feel like it especially not around here. 12/10/18 Early night when it came to the back. Used VTO to leave early, stinks i lost a day but at least i caught up on stuff. 12/11/18 Bravada i bought finally became mine with licence plates. Saving insurance for after Christmas. Store had less on today which made the work at least plenteful. But the group with the exception of me and 2 others all left at 9:50 as we got left with the bulk of the cleanup. Not cool in the slightest. 12/12/18 First day with Bravada, not a bad go of things. Penultimate class, surprisingly am at an A hoping i can get this done within the next week. Contingency plan needed for tomorrow, will see SpiderMan on Saturday and hold off on Aquaman until after Christmas. 12/13/18 Nice to find out i can still tack miles on my feet. Will need to do that again soon. Packages got sent including book for retun. Retuned a bunch of stuff for gift stipened, hoping dad likes revenant more than hacksaw ridge. South Park finale made no sense. 12/14/18 Saving spiderverse for sunday, mainly so i can get rid off stuff at BAM, more cash more presents. Will still read Mortal Engines even though movie looks lousy. A lot of ties on countdown, and just discovered a couple i overlooked. Binging Bob's Burgers like crazy. Man that show is a lot better than i gave it credit for. Busted truck is gone from parking lot, didn't expect to have to have management nearly call cops on stolen vehicle though. 12/15/18 Day from hell is an understatement. Eric getting arested, Im working on stuff and Andrew seemed to not know when to keep his mouth shut. Bowl games starting today brought only form of relief. 12/16/18 Better day, Animated Spiderman was something to behold. Got bulk of christmas shopping out of the way. Bravada held up just wished i could get it back fully. Packers got knocked out of postseason. Just hope we can win one more, at least chances are good. Smash Bros Ultimate is awesome. 12/17/18 Mom's gift now safley wrapped. Football continues and the Saints better be hoping they stop stinkin things up. 12/18/18 Cap 2 was down to 4 with a mysterious virus going round. As everyone left by 6, i managed to get out early. Just hoping this doesnt come back to bite me in the butt. Hoping to wrap up gifts by Friday, Aquaman on Saturday may be possibile. Glad thats in town at least. Also did annual watch of Haruhi Suzumiya movie, how come they can't make a movie that long in America. Stinks it has to be shorter than 2 for animated. 12/19/18 Last Class, thankfully was short and sweet. Walked out in good mood after making thank you card. Just curious to know when i may get funds, cause have to take 2 classes otherwise just to get scholarship. Rose Bowl shirt looks great. Will finish gift wrapping by friday at least. 12/20/18 I dont know why but it just doesnt feel like christmas this year. Snow almost gone, skies are dreary and whatever mood were in around here just keeps going up. Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls seems more and more perfect in telling the moood were in right now. Hoping for a few good days, free christmas dinner at store tommorow should lift funk. 12/21/18 The mood certainly is festive store wise. Finished grabbing gifts. Wil be hoping they like them. 12/22/18 Down to the single digits in days left of 2018, one goal of mine i wished i picked up more on was the sign language aspect. Will be putting that back on the 2019 docket. Store for a few more days. Just hoped to go watch Aquaman thanks to VTO but based on what i got coming, better to hold off on that. 12/23/18 Penultimate truck of 2018, thankfully got that done by 10, finally got tree from mountain, bulbs i picked up worked brillantly. Hard to belive it all ends in a week. Good year overall. 12/24/18 Short 4 hours with only Chris and Cheyenne. Best store day of the year in which we turn off all lights and tell people who come in to leave. Cole on the other hand, once again, i got drugged out to fix his mess. Not pleasent. What was was prime rib and quiet dinner with family before i gave them gifts. Poofball hat idea worked on all but Dad may have to return his. Looking forward to nba on christmas day. Wonderful life and Polar Express double feature to round things out. 12/25/18 Linus from peanuts says it all. With angellic hosts proclaim christ is born in bethlehem. 12/26/18 Amazing how one day in total silence with family can turn into one explosive return to reality. All for the best 5 days of the year i suppose. Aquaman movie ended up being pretty great, never figured Julie Andrews would play a squid. Badgers Bowl game tomorrow then final day of work for year on friday. Just hopin i can get final blog posted on monday before library closes. Year is rapidly closing fast. Also 2nd Charlie Brown Christmas special sucks, a little bit much on the meaning of the season and not on what made the first special great all around. 12/27/18 Rain filled the day, a lot of water that may turn whatever snow we have into ice. Badgers won in Yankee Stadium and tomorrow is Walmart 2018 finale for me. Just wish i didn't have a week off after that, but i can make do with micro paycheck for a bit. Already trying to figure 2019 Goals, dont know whether to up it or lower it. Found Attack on Titan Season 3 on Digital. Yeah gonna be good tv this weekend. 12/28/18 The 2018 Season finale at Wallyworld. Epicly enjoyable. Just miffed that  have a week off with little to no Coverage coming in. May seek alternative option. Truck tire thankfully got fixed but other issue may now have arisen. Bad luck streak wrapping this year up strong isn't it? 12/29/18 Another college football playoff another Bama Clemson beatdown. At least Kyler and Oklahoma actually put up a fight. Not sure what movie to see tomorrow. Possibly saving Bumblebee for next week, or VICE. 12/30/18 Entry 364 and on this penultimate day, I chose to go see the Mary Poppins sequel. Oh man it was charming. The welcome balance of modern with slight hat tips to what came before. Packers embarrassingly concluded thier season. Orville came back on tonight and that was equally good, a bunch of side plots that somehow all culminated in one odd ritual where Bortus took a dump, and it was good. Looking forward to adding that on DVR. 5 Packages to send out tomorrow, not sure what i'll be doing when ball drops. 12/31/18 Bye Bye Yesterday...The culmination of 365 Days of life, and as we conclude 2018 I think, there was so much more I could have gotten done. 2 Weddings, A Super Bowl visit, watching Connor finish school, buying my first vehicle, nearly seeing a sporting event, and a prmomotion at wally world. So much more I could have squeezed in. Finished today up with helping dad with bread, and  he made chili, hoping that that wont make us all sick as hes been these last few days. As for this journaling buiness.  I may look into continuing this come 2019. After all that is now as i have put it the year of the endgame.  Definetly would want to chronicle that. Though maybe i'll go the Your Name Route and download an app to chronicle that for my Phone and Ipad. Here's to you 2018, now as Thanos snaps at 11:53 you'll crumble to dust and fade away in our minds and hearts. Its time for the next chapter, and im ready...To Be hopefully continued.

                                       End of 2018 Journal

[arachja]

Some thoughts about ch.105

Recent commotion in fandom, especially among ereri shippers, made me to write some thoughts about event in chapter 105. Of course I am gonna focus on kicking scene, Levi's line he has missed kicking Eren and on Eren character and his comrades' attitude to him.

This whole story is sad and emotional rollercoaster in general. I have though that most of us is used to it. Of course, it isnt easy to face some grusome choices Isayama is making, but it must be something, that makes us love this story so much. Even few moments ago my sister asked me, so if this manga makes you so sad, why are you reading it? I mean yea, why? Maybe we are hungry for things that makes us think and feel emotions? Looking for happines should be, and propably is, the purpose of living, but do we ever imagine how our life would be without rocks on our road, what would be our state of mind and how we could face problems if they ever appear? I think that sadness and suffer enoble us as humans. I saw this theme few times and its really interesting, for example in "Brave new world" of Huxley or "Hearts, hands and voices" of Ian McDonald.*  

*"They were bored; unbearably, incredibly, eternally bored.

Paradise was tiring. Heaven was a boredom, endless monotony of wealth, joy, splendor, freedom and pleasure, where every dream was coming true.

Paradise? Rather subtle kind of hell."

Maybe little controversial but something nice to think about.

This introduction is result of my struggling some time ago I made because of Attack on titan. I may be little obsessed and I really enjoy this manga and anime, but sometimes we can figure out that we are overwhelmed and a fiction takes control of our mood. I really love Eren Yeager (and it isnt crush or wet fantasy, it is feeling I could have for son or a friend). And when I first read chapter when he awakened his and other shifters memories and discovered that he will live only few years more I was at agony. I cried like someone from my family died. And I really couldnt come back to this story for some period of time. Then I saw his face when he was standing on the coast pointing on the horizon. And I was even more sad than before because I knew he is already dead and he lost a fight in his mind, he lost himself. I couldn't bear it, but now is little different. I have gone through my mourning. I hope that will be similiar with you who lost Sasha. We wont avoid deaths in this story, we only can prey they will have meanings.

And maybe finally to the point? ^^`

I dont really care that people hate Eren (it isnt something new). They have rights and freedom to do this. I can only wonder how is they reception of the story. For me personally, when I am a little less emotional attached, its a great line of plot and character development (not always in good meaning). I see that the boy I falled in love is changing, isnt the same person, is suffering, is losing himself, is selfishly fighting for purpose which is only known to him (but we really dont know what he is thinking and how his mind is procesing). It isnt easy to facing that but it really makes this character and whole story more interesting and awsome for me. And I love Eren no matter what.

I am also obsessed Riren/Ereri shipper. And here is something what makes me REALLY SAD. Reactions of another shippers... Usually I dont really mind but there are a lot of people who make me happy by content they are creating, metas, fanarts and fanfictions. Its sad for me when someone betray his idea when problem appears. But as I said before, everone has right and freedom to do this.

The kick scene and Levi's line that he missed that made me excited and confused by others reaction. I started to wonder whats wrong with me. Or them xD If someone is thinking its abusive, then maybe we read different books. By actions (and violence sometimes too, physical exhaustion?) we release tension. I think they both needed and expected that. Eren deserved that kick and Levi just showed him what is happening to him when he disobeyed (and that write person who doesnt like bdsm theme). What could be better? Levi looking on Eren with disgust, not saying a word and let him be arrested? Patting him on the head asking what happened, why he did this? (Maybe it could be nice but weeeird, it isnt Levi and it isnt romantic story).

Some people are complaining that Levi didnt develop at all. That he is abusive. The only moment I remember he beat Eren is on court and that kick in ch 105. If anyone know another times, please, point that out. I dont remember Levi beating his soldiers and comrades, he is only violent to ppl he is interogating and enemies ofc. And even behind the scenes, I dont imagine he can physicaly punish anyone, (they are still army and some standards should be respected, even in this canon universe, idk) he can punish a lot but more with training or cleaning tasks or whatever.

And that he missed it. All can see that this scene is pararel, kneeling Eren and kick is the same. When he said he missed it and Eren is always good to be kicked. Like.. rude? Omg a lot! But its Levi. Why anyone is loving him then? Like he didnt changed at all? Definitly he is the same, but I only missed Hanji there who could translate what he really meant. For me, and I can be absolutelly wrong, is that he missed old Eren. That kick remember him a boy who was innocent, ready to fight and had hope for winning they cause to save all the humanity. He hate seeing Eren in that new, different state of mind and by violence and pain he want to awaken him, retrieve him. That violence show how much Levi is tensed and lose control near Eren.

AND YES I SHIP THEM EVEN MORE.

They relation is interesting and anyone tells me otherwise.

There is one more thing that is making me sad along with shippers reactions. His friends and comrades reactions. We all love dramas. I love them a lot too. And i will wait for answers. Mikasa and Armins looks, sharp words from Jean and Hanji. Just why. What they think about Eren's condition. How much they know. I have lost it meantime, I have started rereading all serie but I still have long way to these events, so I am not really sure about this, so for now I will leave this topic.

And thats all for now. Little long post and thanks if anyone read it.

[smolbeanlovemachine]

About me 2,electric boogaloo

  tagged by @loutatouille!! tyvm

LAST… [1] drink: besides water, some orange soda thingy majiggy [2] phone call: mum  [3] text message: “sry” [4] song you listened to:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoT-5nO4JJY :> im a huge w e e b im sry  [5] time you cried: yesterday lmao

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: i haven’t even dated once  [7] been cheated on: nah [8] kissed someone and regretted it: not even a first kiss yet [9] lost someone special: not that i remember, but probably [10] been depressed: honey i probably am today [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: i never drank, ,, yet

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] red! [13] green!! [14] purple!!!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yis [16] fallen out of love: tbh im conflicted with my emotions so idek but i mean i guess [17] laughed until you cried: haha yea and it doesnt even take long [18] found out someone was talking about you: not that i know of *squint* [19] met someone who changed you: yis yis yis defs and i luv them [20] found out who your true friends are: ya, my man [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nah my dude, i dont even use it anymore 

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: three! [23] do you have any pets: not at the moment, but i did have 2 cats overall and a small ham boy who sadly got old n died :( [24] do you want to change your name: not rly no [25] what did you do for your last birthday: went to arden!! i got very much many merch i cried [26] what time did you wake up: at like 5 but fell asleep at like 10 but i still felt exhausted hhh [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: not last night, but another night was mmm watching a lot of videos! [28] name something you cannot wait for: part-time job, get my own money, finish school, move out with buddies, uni, become as nurse, etc [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: she’s right here w/ me [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: maybe, i couldve become more confident :(  [31] what are you listening to right now: the link from before lmfao it makes me saaaad [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes but sadly he became an asshole rip  [33] something that is getting on your nerves: myself and noise,, nOISE and also a sibling’s constant bs >:( [35] elementary: take me back i wasnt so sad that time pls [36] high school: stress  [37] college: i wanna skip and go straight to uni :> [38] hair colour: someone described it as caramel so i mean [39] long or short hair: short!   [40] do you have a crush on someone: maaaan idek my emotions are so conflicted i dont trust ‘em [41] what do you like about yourself?: hhhahahahahahah i guess my young appearance [42] piercings: soon [43] blood type: ive had my blood taken so many times and i still dont know [44] nickname: im usually called ‘turtle’ and i like it and am used to it pls [45] relationship status: i am single and 2 shy [46] zodiac sign: taurus!  [47] pronouns: female, yis [48] fav tv show: currently x-files but also attack on titan i know thats an anime but sh its been 4 years its coming back to me  [49] tattoos: i want one, like, bad 
[50] right or left handed: right!

FIRST… [51] surgery: i guess like on the scalp a lil, but that was YEARS ago [52] piercing: not yet! but soon [53] best friend: i dont wanna give names but im comfy with them and i luv ‘em  [54] sport: hockey! [55] vacation: snow! [56] pair of trainers: i dont like shoes 

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: i ate a piece of chicken [58] drinking: water, this mouth is d r y [59] i’m about to: stay here lol [60] listening to: a 70s remix of Redbone [61] waiting for: the week to end to get the first job bois [62] want: t o  d i e  i just wanna sorta sleep yknow  [63] get married: im not sure quite yet tbh  [64] career: i just doodle i dont got much to do 

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: both! i crave affection tbh but space is important ofc [66] lips or eyes: eyes!! sign me th- [67] shorter or taller: tall!! carry me, luv [68] older or younger: older a lil! but 1 or 2 years younger i wouldnt mind [69] romantic or spontaneous: both!!! [70] nice arms or nice stomach: does it matter?

[71] sensitive or loud: well, we can be both at times ourselves so idc [72] hook up or relationship: relationship!! pls, i want something real [73] troublemaker or hesitant: i, i dont know! 

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nope [75] drank hard liquor? not yet [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? honey you have no idea its been sucked into someone’s arse at times i swear [77] turned someone down: yeah, but i dont regret it they deserved it for the trash they are as a person :)  [78] sex on first date? no no i want some connection at first pls [79] broken someone’s heart? not that i know of but i hope not :(  [80] had your own heart broken? honey [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? ya but like once, but mostly in media lmao [83] fallen for a friend: ya!! 3 times gosh but at least those are the only crushes i have had

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? i could if i tried :) [85] miracles? miracles are just big coincidences  [86] love at first sight? N O  [87] santa claus? nah [88] kiss on the first date? im not sure about that idea no :( [89] angels? idk, maybe 

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: hnn its 3 ppl [91] eye colour: like, darker green in dimmer places, but a v light color in sunlight?? [92] favorite movie: aaa dont make me decide