#and thats as close as ill get
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I see a lot of people who remind me of me when I was a kid, who get their hearts set on a breed that obviously don't suit their needs. Learning more about the breeds I love has really shown me what my limits are. I could not offer a CAO a fulfilling life, I could not offer an Anatolian a fulfilling life, a Tibetan Mastiff, etc.... I cannot presently offer a Dogo a fulfilling life, nor any other working hound.
It's not a matter of "I will never be able to" but a matter of "I am unable to now and in the foreseeable future." I do not have property, I do not have stock to guard, I do not hunt. Reconciling that has been hard. Maybe one day I will be able to give a Dogo or a CAO a fulfilling life, but today is not that day, nor is tomorrow or the next day.
On the other hand, I had given up on Beaucerons a few years ago as a pipe dream, because I had been told time and time again that they were Too Much dog... like a 100-lb WL Malinois. And then I met them and realised oh, no, this IS the perfect breed for me. This is a breed that checks almost all of my boxes (except some aesthetic ones which aren't as important to me). This is a breed I can offer a fulfilling life to.
(Someone told me they were a "step up" from a Lab... I would agree. Maybe not a "step up" but certainly a little to the left... probably because of the difference between sporting and herding breeds.)
I don't know. The list of breeds I want in the future is insanely long, but I do my best to have no illusions about these breeds and about myself. I love herding and I love conformation. I don't enjoy hunting, and I probably never will. I like ringsport and rally/obedience. I don't like agility, and I probably never will.
Thinking a lot of thoughts this morning I see.
#motivated by those two posts in the fb group this week.#its like... tell me you dont know caucasian shepherds without telling me you dont know caucasian shepherds. '' beaucerons.#its fine to not know a breed but to keep trying to jam that breed into the mould of what you want when it clearly doesnt fit...#thats something i tried to do a lot as a kid#caucasian shepherds/gamprs/tibetan mastiffs were some of my favourite breeds#and ill probably never own ANY of them. and thats fine. i can enjoy them through my friends' dogs#and thats as close as ill get
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Candace and doofenshmirtz would be tumblr mutuals i think
#maybe ill draw this when i inevitably get sucked back into pnf at some point dsjfj#phineas and ferb#candace flynn#heinz doofenshmirtz#pnf#candys pnf posting#prty sure thats the tag#sighh didnt get to draw much today and now its close to bedtime😔
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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Ok, for me, Erik is the one who does the housework.
Imagine him wearing a chef's apron (strictly magenta), rubber gloves for washing dishes and a headband to hold up his magnificent hair.
domestic erik save me.......
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#these are quick forgive me however i HAD to draw erik to cope so thank you for the visions#im gonna continue coping by getting more matcha desserts today .. also i havent eaten. today. because i keep doing this#monday i wanted to go to my favorite ramen shop but it was closed but like i feel like i have an ew fave ramen shop ...#is it cause they serve booze there Thats Not Important whats important is their ramen is delicious#ANYWAYS please enjoy these. i was listening to that squirrel girl podcast and so i cant think of anything BUT domestic erik#im gonna compile all his segments from those once i finish the podcast cause its so important to me....#ill save talkin bout that podcast once i finish it tho for now im going to eat now BYE
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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yknow what whatever have some beauty mark boys
#my art#doodle#fanart#trigun#no home manhwa#brokeback mountain#resident evil 7#mouthwashing#vash the stampede#juwan park#jack twist#ethan winters#daisuke mouthwashing#i drew these instead of doin my philosophy homework#ill probably regret postin this at some point in the future but if i forget i posted this then itll all be fine#forgettin it happened is as close to healin as i can get and lord i will get there#ethan is there dubiously because his is so hard to see and you dont see it in the actual games so is it really canon its debatable#but i think its cute so he gets to join the club i guess#theyre in order of when i got into their series from longest ago to most recent#the order i drew them in is juwan jack vash daisuke and then ethan was last cause i didnt know if i was gonna include him#anyways thats the post its been a short day in a bad way
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#hii hi i'm away travelling from today until september 21st or 22ndish#so this post is just to let ppl know o/#during that time i might be able to browse the net a lil here n there or make the odd post but thats about it i think hh#hate to be away so close to launch and during lots of cool new stuff but wat can u do hh#apologies for the intermission in mj-ly scheduled programming. ill try to catch up when i get back. (✿╹◡╹)#take care everyone and enjoy all the reveals for me (ㅅ´ ˘ `)✧✧#mj and the world
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Fuck I just have to write a fic about Emmrich noticing Rooks hidden injuries now
#Its so sweet that his favourite color is lilac and i happened to have made her eyes purple#anyways adore this dapper man#im romancing taash next (harding is low key making me jealous but i just know theyll be good for each other when taash finally tells her)#or shit lucanis i was so close to swaying towards him but emmrich is so sweet im just scared hell turn into a lich but i wanna support him#ahh so excited to see how things go from here!#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#emmich romance#emmrich volkarin#emmrich romance spoilers#im playing on low graphics because thats all my poor gaming laptop can handle but i wouldnt even know and i dont care it looks so good#i liked neve but hardened her maybe ill see what happens when lucanis gets hardened instead (hehe) but poor spite...
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weeee fantasy au scribbles look at these Guys
#ft. the magnificent return of Wormie#i say as if didnt mention wormie exactly Once....#but believe me wormie lives in my mind. wormie is forever up there. i have a rich inner world you must Understand#fantasy wormie is a literal magic worm barnaby found & got attached to#and thus wormie has become the neighborhood's mascot / group pet#she can usually be found under barnaby's hat or somewhere in poppy's feathers#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#tw blood#< its only a lil bit but just in case...#eddie 🤝 poppy - paranoid about frank's Lack of armor despite his fighting style#he has leather shoulder pauldrons & a gambeson and thats It <3#meanwhile eddie looks like the fuckin tin man#even julie has armor!! and her Giant Sword!#wally & sally skimp on the armor cause they're distance fighters - and magic gives them a protective edge#barnaby either doesnt fight or uses his magic - also its tough to land a hit on him. hes Skilled#and howdy shoots first asks questions later so no one gets Close#and poppy stays out of the fighting <3#& i once again drew wally Too Small....#someday ill be able to grasp consistent size differences. someday
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she red on my stoner until the red sun never sets IT NEVER SETS I AHVENT SLEPT
#just some doodle ideas of redstoner yk how it iss#idk hair tho ill prilly change it#but i was thinking about him & thought OH BOY what if his derpy eyes were bc of goggles#?? then got carried away but not 2 much#i dont reeeeeeeaaaaaallllllllyyyyyy like this design all 2 much but it is my 1st doodle#i started rewatching it…. i havent watched this since i was in @ least middle school#im getting flashbacks from me pausing 2 read the trxt like HELP#does any1 even care about redstoner?? hello… HELLO??#im thinking back on it & this might b the 1st like edgy angsty minecraft rp thing i got in2#FUCKING REDSTONER IS MY FOUNDATION & ITS GOOD#i love u redstoners#redstoner#i dont wanna put this in the ross tag tbh IDEK IF THERE IS 1#uhhh#yourpalross#mcyt#puppee art#get me out of the minecraft hole pls some1 save me#if im not careful i might actually choose 2 suffer & rewatch donot laugh again#shout out 2 ross gaming who gives me 2 much gender & i was rlly close 2 changing my name 2 ross or daniel bc of him#((i did 4 a bit but thats not the point))#im pretty sure ive been watching this guy 4 like way 2 long IM ORETTY SURE HE SHAPED MY PERSONALITY#SOME1 HELPPP
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bit of a repost but here's all the character advertise backgrounds so far
#i still need to do star oj kate and jammy but ill get to those eventually#anyway we're actually pretty close to the dark story being completely finished so thats cool#parappa the rapper#parappa fanart#parappa adventure 2#sunny funny#sonic the hedgehog#parappa#ptr#um jammer lammy#katy kat#lammy#ujl#ma san#parokka rokka#parokka#parappa au#so many tags lmao
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Hi I got 84 in the last two weeks, starting to run out of food money. Absolutely no gas money to get anywhere but yknow. Maybe the temp agency I'm talking to will give me some tolerable job tomorrow and I can ask a bus driver to let me on for free. ("Not my fault if you get a ticket." has been a common response.)
venmo: @nora-esther-rose
paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
#im lucky two disabled women who dont trust me let c use their kitchen to cook for me even if its kinda awkward#the tip i got to split the ebt accounts kinda helped in giving us more money but it made C very upset bc they made her reapply for health#insurance suddenly which we didnt expect#but ive been using some of my account on her and mine ran out but she should still have some more on hers#electrolysis is keeping me going. C might get facial surgery before the end of the year#we both should get grs next year so thats def smth close to look forward to regardless of whether i get any jobs or any donations#ill cope regardless
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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axolotl
#covers my face. this is dumb theyre dumb idk what was going thru my mind making this.h#i like this brush tho i think ill keep using it#i had this thought awhile ago that axolotls kind of remind me of macs ears. and i had a nice thought that if wukong ever saw one#he'd say the same thing. and thats why im sitting here with my head in my hands#macaque doesnt know if hes embarassed amused or straight up smitten. its all 3#i have such a hard time drawing necks and shoulders.. mac is supposed to kind of hunch up his shoulders#the way some ppl do when they bow their neck down kind oflike. defensive-tucking in position when theyre making themselves small#i cant really get it to look right so it kinda looks like his head is sunken too close to his shoulders. so i guess ill keep practising#maybe if i brought his head closer to the collarbone it will look better. but i struggle with foreshortening so theres a chance itll#just look like his neck starts at the collar. ughhh#god have mercy if i ever draw hugs. i hate positioning the shoulder i hate hate hate it. 10 dead 17 injured#i have new design note ideas for em but ill post another time#myart#doodles#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk liu er mihou
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Post-forgotten-realms-return Christmas
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads fanart#dndads glenn close#dndads glenn#glenn close#dndaddies#dndads s1#dndads season 1#dndads odyssey#henry oak#hes there too in the corner#its a no win situation cause glenn gates minions but he looks good#and he wears the shirt all morning because he wants nick to know he lik s the gift#but now hes just wearing this tight cropped shirt and everyone is uncomfortable for different reasons#maybe someone else gets him a minions shirt thats way too big but he still looks good#the man just looks good!!!!!#anyway sorry yall cant read the fic thats in my head maybe one day ill write it
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