#and thats after struggling to sleep despite being exhausted
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Problem in paradise atm cus not only is my insomina kicking my ass lately, but I also keep having nightmares that involve my f/os đ°
#like I had one where Barbs got really angry at me and I immediately woke up cus he was so scary#and then I had another where I just got chased around an entire city for hours by a sea monster đ#no peace for the wicked it seems#and thats after struggling to sleep despite being exhausted#i suppose this could be classes as a vent but i dont really mean it that way#its an inconvenience really#sunny speaks#tw vent#just for good measure
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It Will Come Back
Pairing: Logan Howlett x GN! Reader
Warnings: Very rushed ending, Logan through various different movies/timelines, gn! reader, fluff and tad bit of angst, sexual implications but not explicit, alcohol consumption (let me know if i missed anything)
Hi! Hope everyone is having a great day! I've been struggling with some Wolverine hyperfixation and Deadpool Wolverine being released on Disney+ like 2 days ago didn't help much. So, I decided I would finally post this fic thats been in my drafts for like a month now? It's heavily inspired by Hozier's 'It Will Come Back', so please enjoy!
Time was always a fickle thing for someone who could never age, who had lived centuries and watch as it affected everyone you loved and yet hasnât graced you with the same courtesy, a long stretch that dipped into the horizon and melted against the inevitable void. There were times when you yearned for the ice cold grip of death, the blissful eternal sleep that most try to run away from, to prevent. But that was before you had met him, before he whispered life back into your hollow bones.
It was a fleeting encounter, words exchanged in a fraction of a second. You couldnât recall how long this cat and mouse game played out, but you eagerly waited for the next moment you would see him, even if just for a glimpse. It started out slow, the long pull and stretch of time that came with his absence.
The first time you had met was in 1932, a time where many longed for the cold, dark Earth to envelop them so they wouldnât have to suffer much longer. The interaction was brief, a swift knock to the shoulder as you passed down the street. He grumbled an apology, his voice rough and with an accent that didnât quite stick in your head enough to name. There was a hesitation in his step as his gaze met yours, more of intrigue than anything else. He stopped completely as you called out, brows furrowed in annoyance. He turned towards you, apology leaving his lips. He introduced himself as James Howlett. An odd last name. You gave your name in kind with a smile.
He looked exhausted, although there wasnât anyone in This Depression that wasnât. So, despite your better judgment, you offered him a place to stay and some lukewarm meals to hold him over until he could find work. You never were much of a cook, even now you struggle to prepare much of anything, but itâs not without lack of trying.The rundown country home had been your home for a little before the dust bowl and the drought begun since you had moved into it, trying to busy your lonely mind with farm work. You had set the loft in the barn on your sparse and dusty property for him, giving him plenty of blankets and cloth that would make for a functional and maybe comfortable bed. He mentioned a brother who you had seen only briefly every now and again entering the barn before leaving a few minutes later, always snarling. And even though your instinct was shouting at you to question it, you never did.
There was always an objection to the kindness you showed him when you would bring meals, to leave him to the land as thatâs all he knew- how he sleeps, to not be kind. But each time he only came back. It was routine until you found a small note etched in charcoal with the words âI come backâ. And just like that he had vanished as if he had never existed, disappearing and leaving a strange ache in your chest.
You couldnât tell when the next time we met was as the years turned to decades. People like you had gained a name; âmutantsâ and they were becoming more and more common around the world. As narcissistic as it sounded, you thought you had been the only one, cursed to roam the Earth for eternity while watching everyone grow old and die around you. You hadnât expected to run into him, not after 3 decades, and you surely did not expect for him to look just as the day that you last saw him, nor to recognize you.
You sat beside him on the barstool, not speaking until a whisper of your name fell from his lips as if he had figured out the answer to all of the prayers heâd whispered in the dead of the night to an unseen God.. A smile graced your face before you could stop it, turning in the seat to give him your undivided attention.
âYou shouldnât smile at me like that, you know better.â He gruffly spoke.
You didnât realize how easy it would be to miss someoneâs voice until you heard his. It was as if his words were a melody and you had been searching for the right tune all your life. Just the sound of his voice had been enough to cure you of any ailments for the day. You continued to show him the kindness he so desperately wanted to refuse. To offer him a hand and a soul, one that he feels less deserving of. This time was shorter than the last.
A few drinks, some chatting, walking, and a stumbling mess of feverish, open-mouthed kisses as we reached your apartment and found your way to the couch, the floor, and then the bed. He had ruined you, that much you knew from the very first press of his lips against yours, from the whisper of your name in the bar just a few blocks away, or perhaps it was the very first time his shoulder hit yours.
Towards the end of your euphoric highs, you had noticed the extension of bones from between his knuckles as they dug into your mattress and utterly destroying it. It led to a pensive conversation that eased as you revealed your own curse, your lack of morality. He showed off his claws, explaining his own hyper senses and regenerative properties. You admired the bone that extended from the divots between his knuckles, fingers ghosting over the claws. The night morphed into day as you both recounted stories, although you could tell his were vague and lacking details, keeping them for the darker parts of his mind away from the light.
You hadnât realized him to be an army man before that night, but sure enough he was being shipped out that next day. So the reunion was cut painfully short and you had to wish him farewell from the comfort of your apartmentâs sheets, tangled and damp with cold sweat from the previous night.
It was the middle of winter the next time. You moved from place to place as to not raise suspicion on why one of the neighbors never aged, stuck in a younger body than that hasnât changed in the last few years of where you stayed. You could never forget James, he was always a lingering thought, a distant wish to run into him once again. As the seasons transitioned from to another, that wish slowly fizzled out.
It burned brighter one particular night, when there was a strange howling outside your door. There had been wolves hanging around, but they sounded nothing like this. So, with little fear to your well being, you opened the door.
He looked different, scruffier and wild. There was a metal contraption on his head that wired down to two boxes on either side of hips. The machinery and mechanism was complex as if he were some part of someoneâs cruel experiment. There was a snarl sound emanating from his throat, sitting on his haunches. But his state of undress in the dead of winter was not what caught your eye but the sharp metallic âshikâ as metal drew from the divots where bone once did. A sharp gasp left your lips as he slowly stood to his full height, eyes locked and unwavering. He sniffed the air like an animal before taking a step forward, his instincts fueling his muddled mind, the movement subconscious.
He had found his way back, but at what cost? What had this poor man endured to become this way? This feral?
As he took a step forward you mirrored in a step backwards, crossing the threshold of your home and he simply followed. His wild eyes darted from corner to corner, sniffing once more and then taking a deep inhale. He visibly eased up, although still had the behavior of a cornered animal. You let him into the warmth of your home, let him wander and orient himself with his surroundings despite your conscious telling you not to.
It took multiple hours of gentle coaxing and many more attempts of snapping from him until you managed to get him to sit and settle down enough to remove the headpiece and electroids from his body, having them fall to the floor with a thud onto the carpeted floor. He just stared, even a whisper of his name had his head cocked to the side like an animal in a state of confusion.
There was dried blood under his nails, hair greasy and filled with mud and- you didnât think you wanted to know what else it contained. Bathing and feeding him was no easy feat, metal meeting flesh and red decorating the floor; but, you eventually got it done and even had him dressed in sweatpants that were a bit too tight and the cuffs raised to his mid calf. It would have been comical if he wasnât so out of his wits.
The next few weeks were awkward, each time you tried to leave he would grab your arm and tighten his hold in an attempt to get you to stay, but you needed food and he needed clothes that actually fit him. He still didnât speak, just low huffs and grunts. When he finally did speak, it was low and broken as if he had forgotten how.
âLo⌠ganâŚâ
The words confused you. Why was he saying a strangerâs name?
âIs he the one that did this to you?â You ask softly, swiftly sitting beside him on the couch. You received a shake of his head in return and another mutter of the manâs name.
âI donât understand.â
He ruffled into his pocket until a small clink of metal emerged and he withdrew dog tags with the name âLogan Howlettâ engraved. It was his last name, but the first one made no sense. On the opposite side it read âThe Wolverineâ. Was that his army name? You had heard of getting nicknames when in service but had no real idea about it.
âYouâre Logan?â You clarify, eyes moving from the metal within his palm to his own eyes, still wild but tamed for now.
You received a nod from that, signifying you were correct in your assumption. That would make sense why he had never acknowledged me when you had called him James. So, from then on you referred to him as Logan.
You try not to think about the time during which you helped bring him back to a state of humanity, finding out his memories were scattered and he held no recognition in his eyes other than finding the smell of your home, of you, familiar. You cared for him, allowed him a place to stay and took him with you until he suggested a RV bed for an old truck. With the stash of cash you had dwindling, not expecting to care for another person, you hastily agreed. From there you traveled. City to city, province to province, finding cage fighting bars for cash while trying to bring peace to Loganâs mind and retrieve the memories lost or stolen from him.
Finding Rogue was a blessing, even more so when Scott and Ororo had rescued you both. You had been given a home and a lead on Loganâs missing memory and a chance for him to be a part of a team. So, when he was given information on a location that might jog his memory and insisted he would go alone, giving you his dog tags as a promise, you held some worry of course, but knew that he will come back.
#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x reader#logan wolverine#logan x reader#the wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine x reader#james logan howlett#wolverine#james howlett#james howlett x reader#james howlett logan#james howlett fanfiction#james howlett x you#logan howlett x you
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Speaking of sleepy, caring for sleepy Chain
-Softie
We worked on this on stream long ago. I also made this also one bed. Part 1 has Time, Twilight, and Warriors
_____________
There was a common issue among some of the chain where most all of them have the fatal flaw of not being able to sleep. Some had issues waking up like Sky, Wind, Four and Wild. You quickly found that Legend was among that group but given the incident he went into the latter issue. Which was annoying when dealing with. It was completely opposite problems.
Time:
It was always hard to tell if the Old man was tired as he seemed to be always absolutely exhausted. Which was fair enough since he was dubbed the dad friend in the group thus making him the main person to go to for everything. Itâs a wonder how he hasnât just slept for 7 more years yet.
Still the Hero of Time was probably 3 days in without sleep and thats what you observed. Granted you should have stopped him by day 2. But you werenât sure if he slept on the days you seen him take first shift and wake up with him being on last shift.
The other boyâs notice it too and while they all appreciate the extra sleep itâs unfair for Time. Warriors is typically the only one that speaks up about it since he isnât phased by the Older Linkâs tough exterior. While it would be embarrassing in hindsight you had to drag Warriors aside to push for you and Time to be in the same room. âI have a planâ is what you tell the captain not letting him know that you in fact, dont have a plan.
Truly the plan is fist fight the old man until he actually sleeps, or lecture him whatever you feel like. At least you will be here in town for a few days to gather supplies and information. So you can at least fix Timeâs sleep schedule.
Youâre plotting came to an extreme halt as you step into a room with one bed. âThis can work.â You say out loud as you dropped your stuff in a corner of the room. âWe can share the bed.â Itâs not even up for debate at this point.
âCan we?â Time asks as he closes the door âwouldnât that be uncomfortable?â
âUncomfortable?â That wouldnât be the word you would use. âNah. Unless it makes you uncomfortable. Then I can take the floor.â
The hero gives you a look, one to even dare you to say that again. âIf you donât mind, then I donât see why fight over it.â
âIt I am being real.â You stand up and stretched âyou do need it more.â It has been decided. You are lecturing him. âWhen is the last time you slept a full 8 hours? Heck 6 hours I would accept.â
An eyebrow was raised as he heads inside âI have been fine with the sleep Iâve been getting.â He takes his armor off putting each piece down carefully before finally sitting on the bed. He pats the spot next to him.
You follow his lead as you prepare a long argument. âAh, yes the zero hou- Ack!â What you didnât expect was Time to drag you into his lap and lay down.
Your face exploded in a blush as you were now basically his teddy bear. âDonât you think I havenât noticed you also have trouble sleeping.â He whispered as he was already in the process of wrapping the both of you in the blankets. âLetâs take a nap for nowâŚâ
Well⌠This backfired successfully.
Twilight:
Twilight was one of these Links which, made sense but also didnât when you found this out. He tries to older brother everyone, he makes sure everyone is asleep before he does. Which takes forever to do and your patience for this man is thinning.
After stopping in a town from a long trek. The group decides to go to the Inn to set up shop. You were already on Twilight to take a nap before dinner. âNo. We are going to eat in like 30 minutes.â
Ok.
No.
He isnât getting out of this and you donât care youâre in the middle of the lobby. There was something that the chain has yet to learn about you.
You might be short.
But you are strong.
So you marched up to Twilight and despite his struggling you throw the hero over your shoulder and went directly to the room angrily. âLet me down!â Twilight demands of you. However you couldnât care about it as you open the door kick it close and threw him on the bed. âThat was unnecessary.â He said getting up.
âIt was very necessary!â You argued back crossing your arms. âWhen is the last time you properly slept?â
Twilight stays quiet and looks away. He looked like a kicked puppy. âI get enough.â
âAccording to who? Because everyone else can make an argument that youâre barely getting any to function.â You let out a huff as you should probably be more lenient with him because itâs not really like he is doing something bad. You know from experience that the body could function with little sleep if itâs used to it but itâs not healthy! You didnât go through classes with a clear mind but you should have! âWe are just worried about you.â
The Hero stays quiet but sighs âok. I understand.â He seems to give up at this point. But he reaches out to take your hand finally letting himself looked exhausted âbut⌠can you stay with me?â
Your eyes soften as he seemed to be more tired than you thought. âOf course I will. Someone has to make sure you stay put.â He teases you.
Warriors:Â
After a long day of traveling an inn was a welcoming sight. Since there were ten of you now each room had to have 2 people. Which was sometimes unfortunate for some, but for you in this current moment?
You couldnât ask for a better opportunity since you (forcably) asked to be Warriorâs pair, only to have there only be one bed.Â
Perfect.
Wonderful.
Amazing.
It was instant that you had grabbed Warriors tunic and almost thrown him on to the bed. âDidnât know you wanted me on the bed that badly, doll.â He was laughing. This man was laughing and he looked like hell. Probably felt like it too as the ever polished captain was showing dark circles under his eyes. His smile was sluggish and his eyes werenât as sharp as they normally were.
âVery funny.â You rolled your eyes as you headed towards him again to help him out of his armor. âYou should take better care of yourself. 3 days of barely any sleep? What were you thinking?!â
âThat the other boys need some sleep.â There was no hesitation as the stubborn man is proud of himself for killing his sleep schedule. âItâs fine.â âIt is not fine.â You didnât mean to throw his shoulder plate on the carpet. âYou better take your chainmail off before I do it for you.â
âWhat if I rather you do it for me?â The captain fire back without missing a beat. Instantly his face paled âwait-â
âNope to late come here.â You take his tunic and just⌠thew it off of him. âDo you want to continue?â This was a threat.
ânoâŚâ Warriors voice was silent as he finally got out of what armor he had left. âI should sleep on the floo-â that suggestion was instantly silent as you glared at him.
Finally when both of you were ready for bed you had put your self on top of him. Cuddling but also if he was going to escape he will have to wake you up first. âthis is so you donât escape.â You said.
âI wont. I wont.â Warriors was a bit hesitant to wrap his arms around you âThank you.â He whispered as he finally started to relaxed.
âDonât rely on me to fix your sleep habits.â You said poking his cheek âgood night Captain.â
âGood Night Sweetheart.â
#twilight (not lu) speaks#linked universe x reader#luxreader#linkeduniverse x reader#linkeduniverse#linked universe#monkey bread
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Hi Hi! I recently found your blog and really liked your work.
I was wondering if I could request some HCs about a masc reader who stays up late and wakes up super early (ex. Staying up till 12am but waking up at 3) but somehow is usually very energetic and hyper?
The character(s) are up to you, if thats okay? I read through the rules and everything and I think this is okay, but feel free to ignore if I messed up anything! đŤś
âââ
Ë ĚMk1 characters x Masc reader who wakes up early and goes to bed late
ă ⌠Johnny Cage ⌠ă
* Come on you know he definitely does the same thing.
* Doesnât understand how your so energetic. If he wants to be anywhere near your energy level he NEEDS a crap ton of coffee.
* Easiest way he gets the both of you to sleep is by having a movie marathon or having a gym date and exhausting yourselfâs.
* He always ends up going to bed/passing out first so you end up following him, even if Johnny canât talk you still enjoy cuddling and being next to him.
* You end up picking him up from shoots and sets after long days, because your the only person he trusts that would still be awake at these hours.
* After a long day that was supposed to be about the both of you hanging out he ended up eating sugary snacks to stay awake and had the biggest sugar crash ever.
ă ⌠Liu Kang ⌠ă
* When he learned of your habit was really worried for you, despite the fact that he has spent eons alone Liu Kang still remembers when ordinary people should go to sleep.
* Always tries to somehow convince with his words of wisdom for you to go to sleep earlier (it almost never works but its worth a try)
* I think that a god like him doesnât need sleep but one of the ways he gets you to sleep earlier is by cuddles. Heâll hug and use his natural body heat to lull you to sleep.
* Both of you are opposites of each other but manage to make it work he takes time to do exciting and adrenaline pumping activities and you enjoy spending time with him drinking tea, meditating and talking about anything that you can.
* Anytime he sees you being hyperactive it always puts a smile on his face, just is stuck in trance watching you and being happy that he gets to have this.
ă ⌠Li mei ⌠ă
* HOW?? JUST HOW??? she always asks herself.
* Being Sun Doâs first constable requires a strict schedule, despite the fact that she likes doing her job waking up early is not one of them.
* When she wakes up early Li mei tends to be grumpy and down she absolutely canât understand how you getting so little sleep are in a good and cheery mood.
* She makes paper lanterns that help both of you fall asleep, they smell like lavender.
* If Li meiâs having a hard day she appreciates your energetic personality, it puts her in a good mood and helpâs to keep her spirits high when struggling with Outworldâs conflicts.
* Letâs you take care of her spirit lion since both of you are very energetic and it has grown attached to you.
ă ⌠Mileena ⌠ă
* Thinks that you just have a hard time sleeping.
* Because of the way her base outfit is designed i think Mileena owns a lot of fuzzy and warm sweaters. She gives then to you as a hope that itâll help you sleep better.
* Tries to do literally everything to get you to go bed earlier royal massages, big fancy beds with fluffy pillows, essential oils and whatnots.
* Is surprised that after all that your still full of energy, starts to think that it might be magic or a spell.
* You offered to do some of the more tedious jobs or herâs so that she can enjoy her time as empress, Milleena didnt like the idea of making you do her work but you still insisted by saying that if you let her, both of you will have more time to spend together and she caved.
* You sleep a lot in Mileenas room because she has a lot of flowers that help her fall asleep more calmly and keep her tarkat affliction from coming out. The flowers help you because they remind you of Mileena the happy memories and moments spent with her make for the most adorable dreams and even date ideas.
ă ⌠Havik ⌠ă
* An agent of chaos hell bent of causing mischief any where possible and a little to no sleep human who somehow is extremely energised to a concerning extent. I think thats a math made in heaven.
* Like Liu kang i donât really think Havik needs to sleep yes he does get tired but doesnât have adherent need for it.
* Thought at first that you were also from chaosrealm due to your high energy and hyperactivity.
* Noticed your how your sleeping was inconsistent but because he has never dated a human before he doesnât do much about it, thinkâs that this is just how humans are.
* Still offers to let you rest or even rest with him if he sees that your starting to get tired or are gonna crash.
* Both of you are the most chaotic couple in world and he loves it.
âââ ââ
ââ
â ââ
Once again Iâm so sorry this took so long to get out. I really really enjoyed writing this one especially because i got to write for any character i wanted so that helped me thing outside the box. I didnât really have any specific way of integrating masculine terms or action i just mainly tried not to baby the reader.
Hope you enjoyed reading :3
#mk1#johnny cage#liu kang#mileena#li mei#havik#johnny cage x reader#liu kang x reader#mileena x reader#li mei x reader#havik x reader#mortal kombat 1 x reader#mortal kombat x gn reader#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1#you can honestly imagine the reader being anything either everyone is gay or straight#:3#gn reader
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2022 is almost over and its my tumblr tradition to make a post and talk about the year in general and hopes for next one. Personally 2022 was an exhausting year for me,but definitely not a bad one.Health issues became an unwelcome focus,that knee injury made my life hell for many months and I am still not fully recovered even after extensive physical therapy but I am just grateful it wasnât worse because it could be.So yeah I am not going to complain too much about that,because despite it all I was still able to do everything I wanted and travel as much as I could and live my life.Other than that I def count my blessing and I am grateful that my family is healthy,I got a new nephew this year who is a sweetheart,cats are great,work is crazy,there are many plans for future and in general 2022 set in motion some excellent things.
Many hours were spent on Tumblr of course,but thats understandable as we all live here and my online support system is here in form of darling old and new friends who made the year much easier to deal with and a lot more fun.Fandom has always been a big part of my life and there is a good reason for that-fandoms are full of great people and excellent content and in 2022 I feel like I have returned home to an old one after 17 years and my attention split between 911 and SW.Which was def a welcome development because I missed SW in my life and I am glad its here to stay because 2023 is gonna be a good SW year.It was always a struggle for me to focus on more than one fandom,but I am totally handling this lol.Or at least I am trying!
I donât do resolutions,never been my thing and especially not now because we are still living in crazy times-that said I do have hopes for 2023 because I am forever an optimist and my biggest hopes are that next year will be easier and more peaceful.The world is a mess but I want to believe.Hope is what we have and thats how weâll survive everything.We made it so far right?Weâll make it through anything.As for personal hopes and goals-more sleep lol.The rest will be sorted out anyways.
I wish all of you awesome people on my dash a happy and healthy new year. May 2023 bring all of you what you wish for or be as uneventful as possible! Lots of love and hugs and thank you all so very much for being here â¤ď¸
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Gojo and Yuji reacting to sick reader collapsing
âstudent reader being sick but trying to hide it, but collapses after a mission? And what they do afterwards? with gojo and yujis reactions?â -anon
Unsurprisingly, as always, i struggled a bit with this. I kept this platonic since it never really was specified if it was supposed to be romantic with yuji. (i wouldnât have reader be a student if you wanted to be with gojo)
big gif whoops
you were sick and that is that
slow, tired, stuffy nose, dizzy, headaches you had it all
but you couldnt stay in bed and rest
while your sleeping and resting, the curses your supposed to be excorsizing could be killing people
so you absolutely could not stay in bed
gojo took you and yuji out on a mission, before you guys left gojo tilted his head
âyou look exhausted��� he said and you shrugged
âone all nighter never hurt anyoneâ you say doing your best to speak clear despite how raspy your voice is
he hums and goes back to walking
yuji gives you a concerned look but you just smile
before you arrive at the location , you pull your uniform collar
âits pretty hot huh?â you said and both student and teacher turned around at that
âis it? its pretty chilly for meâ gojo says, hands in pockets and face more hidden behind his collarÂ
yuji nodded, his hood was actually up and he rubber his hands together âits like 46 degrees!â(i wanna say thats like 9 degrees celsius)
âo-ohâÂ
gojo sat outside as he sent you and itadori into the building
usually this would be a breeze but it really took a lot out of you
Your breathing was much more rigid and all over the place then you liked, so you simply left your mouth closed and tried to internalize the breathing despite the pain
After all it would suck if the two thought you were really weak
Gojo pats both of your guysâs backs (with you stumbling a bit more than youâd like) and says to celebrate heâd treat you guys to a quick stop at a nearby cafe
Yuji grew excited and you simply nodded your head
The two walked faster than you in general, but now with your sluggish self there was a notable difference in speed
Itadori was having an animated conversation with gojo and turned back to ask for your input, but his smile faded a bit when he saw you so far back
ây/n?â
You tried to respond but your vision blurred and you suddenly felt much more dizzy
You think he yelled your name once more but it was just a hazy noise
Stumbling a few more steps, you passed out but luckily right before your head bashed against the concrete yuji caught you
âHey! Whats wrong??â he yelled shaking you a bit, but was just greeted with messy breathing
âAww man, I was hoping they would last until the cafe. It would have been much more hilarious to see them face plant into a piece of cakeâ Gojo says feeling your forehead
Itadori grows confused at his words
âWoah its even worse than i thought. Yuji, take them back to the dorms for me will you?â
âEh? You knew they were like this??â âYup, from the second they walked into the classroomâ âso then why-â âdonât sweat the small stuff, now go onâ
âBut the school is so far, canât you teleport us there?â âCake, cake, i wonder which flavor i should get todayâ gojo hummed, ignoring yuji as he walked away
Yuji grumbled to himself and placed you on his back before walking back to the school
He probably doesnât know what to do so he just kinda, lays you down on your bed, places a towel that is much to soaked on your head and asks shoko for help
She tells him the basics of how to help, which medicine to give and blah blah
She ends up doing most of the work though
He tries to make a soup his grandfather made once or twice but it didnât taste nearly as good
You still ate it all and thanked him with a tired smile
Depending on if you ask yuji to stay(whenever you wake up that is) he will gladly stay
If you donât he might just pop back in every now and then to make sure your better
Or stops by to chat so you donât feel too lonely
Gojo stopped by and brought you a slice of cake from the cafe you guys were supposed to go too. But It had a bite taken out of it much to your annoyance
Gojo probably doesnât really do anything, he might give you a rock he found and be like âheres a souvenir from my missionâ but other than that i donât see him sticking around to help
Might drop a bag of fruit off, or some medicine but yeah nothin much
Oh actually he might take a few photos of your red face, snotty sick self and send it to the second years, followed by a bunch of emojis
You swore you would get strong enough to hurt him that day
#gojo satoru#itadori yuji#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x reader#itadori yuji x reader#oof im not proud of this honestly
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The Stalker
Part 7
Modern!Ivar x Curvy!Reader, Able-bodied!Ivar x Dark!Ivar
Hey Guys!! i know its been a really long, iâve been struggling a lot lately and i had the motivation to write! i hope you enjoy!
First peron POV (this s my first time doing first person POV in this series so let me know if you guys like it!)
The night with Ivar was so much fun, i canât remeber the last time i had this much fun with someone. From pillow fights, jumping on the bed, ordering as much room service as we could. Ivar and i laid on the bed spread out with full bellies.
âi donât want to eat anything every againâ Ivar said taking a deep breath after.
âHey, last time i checked you were the one who ordered itâ I said back, just getting a grunt in response.
He slowly got out of bed and started walking towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Not thinking anything of it i just rolled over and started admiring the room and the extravagancey of it.
A few minutes later, Ivar emerged from the bathroom and motioned with his fingers to go over to him. Without a question i obliged, i donât know how he had this effect on me.
i followed him into the bathroom and when i walked in a saw a drawn bath, with candles all over the place. This was the most romantic gesture anyone has done for me, it felt as though i could start crying. Too many emotions just ovewhelming me. Â
âOh Ivarâ is all i could manage to say. The smile on his face brightened the candle lit bathroom. He walked towards me, putting his hands on my hips, gently lifting my shirt.
No one has ever seen me naked or even almost naked, well technically Ivar had but i did everything in my power not to think about that. I did not stop him from lifting my shirt over my head. He ran his hands ever so lightly down my sides to the top of my shorts.
He kneeled down, sliding them down my legs, peppering kisses to the top of my thighs on his way back up. Once standing again, he looked me up and down.
I moved my arms to cover myself, which he didnât see immediately because he was taking off his own shirt and shorts leaving him in his breifs.
âWowâ is all i could think, he was lean, toned, and out of my league. The thoughts wouldnât stop, thinking about how handsome he was, and then how i looked.
I was taken from my thoughts by feeling his strong hands gently pull my arms to my sides
âNever hide yourself from me, youâre the most perfect woman i have ever seen, you are all i have every wanted.â His voice was soft and calm.
His hands slowly reached behind me to unclip the hooks of my bra. i grabbed his arm to stop him.
âIvar, no one has seen me like that beforeâ i said matching his volume
ânot even youâ I managed to whisper
âi know little dove, if you want me to stop, i will and i will let you bathe alone.â he said. He didnt sound mad or annoyed, he sounded sincere.
âim just scared, that you will see eveyrthing, and wont like it.âi said, a slight saddness in my voice. Â Because i had not told him to stop, he started to slowly unclasp my bra as he said
âIn my eyes there is noting more beautiful than you, you are my light, you are my love, you are my everything. I love you Y/N, and i love your bodyâ he began to slowly pull the straps down my arms, i immideatly moved my arms to cover myself. He did not stop me.
He peppered kisses from my neck, to my chest, down my stomach until he got to my navel. He looked up at me throuh his eyelashes, as if asking permission. I nodded and then closed my eyes, i did not want to see his reaction when he saw me. All of me.
I felt his hands leave my body and i kept my eyes closed, expecting the worse, but not too long afer i felt his arms wrap around me again. I opened my eyed to the most piercing blue eyes looking at me.
âyou are so perfectâ He whispered
By this time he had taken off his briefs, we both stood there completely open and exposed to each other.
He moved his hands to gently hold my jaw, unconsciously my hands left my chest, now completely exposing myself to him, to hold onto his arms.
He leaned down and pressed the sweetest kiss to my lips, it was as if his lips were made for mine, the way we fit together was so natural. I felt safe, i felt protected, and mostly i felt something i never thought i would. Loved.
We bathed together, just admiring each others presence, me leaning back against his chest as he cupped the warm water and poured it over my shoulder. a sweet gesture that meant more to me then i think he thought.
There was nothing sexual about this, it was sweet and loving and more than anything i ever wanted.Â
*A few hours later*Â
We laid in bed together, me curled into his side listening to him talk about his upbringing, school, and his family a little more. It fet so nice to just lay here with him and hear his stories, i listened to every word that left his mouth. He stopped abruptly and looked down at me with a pouty look on his faceÂ
âcan i ask you something?â he said with a whiny voice i giggled softly and nodded
âcan we switch positions? Will you hold me?â i gigglle lighlty again and without saying anything i flipped over onto my back and he immediately curled into my side, laid his head on my chest and threw a leg over my waist.Â
It must have been a funny sight, a man almost double my size laying onme like a child. But i loved it, i gently played with his still damp hair and listened to him continued with his stories.Â
The conversation gradually shifted to the party we would be going to the following dayÂ
âstay by my side tomorrow night, i dont wanna lose youâÂ
âivar its just your familyâÂ
âexactly! i would not want you getting stuck in a druken conversation with one of my brothersâ I giggled lightly and ruffled his hair
âIt will be okay IvarâÂ
i saw his tone change almost immediately, he got tense all of s sudden as he sat up and leaned over to his bagÂ
âi actually have another question for you, i told them all you were my fiancĂŠ, so if thats okay with you ill introduce you as that. I have this to make it more believable. I know that after we leave here we will probably never see each other again, but after the party you can keep the ring as well. â and he handed me a small ring box.
i opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring i had ever seen, not to mention it was also hugeÂ
it was the ring i had always wanted.... and he knew it. I tried to shut those thoughts out of my head.Â
i just nodded slightly and handed him the box, he placed it on the bedside table and shut off the light.Â
When he laid back down he didnât try to hold me, or cuddle into me again, he just laid next to me.Â
The entire mood changed immediately, back to grey.Â
I wanted to scream or cry, or bury myself away never to be seen again.Â
I had finally opened back up to him, just for him to remind me that this is temporary, that we were nothing, and that when we got back. i would never see him again.Â
i turned on my side facing the wall, i didnt want him to think that i was being petty or that i was mad at him. it was just, looking at him made everything harder.Â
i fell for him, hard. I was in love with the man who had stalked me. He was the first and only person to see all of me. But we were nothing, and were not going to be anything.Â
The thoughts kept pouring into my head, keeping me awake. I could not sleep knowing that the only person i have ever loved, stalked me and then madem e fall in love with him, not by force.Â
Pretending to be in a relationship with him tomorrow wonât be difficult, because it came natural to me. I loved him, and i wanted him. Despite everything, i wanted the man who had stalked me.Â
I heard his soft snoring, and i let out a small cry. I did not want him to worry, so i waited until he was asleep to let it out.Â
All i wanted was to turn arounf curl into him, but i couldnât. it would make it hurt more.Â
i let myself cry until i was too exhausted to keep my eyes open, falling into a restless sleep.Â
Taglist:Â
@youbloodymadgeniusâ @lostgirl14480â @artstyleâ
#dark!ivar#ivar x reader#modern!vikings#modern!ivar#ivar lothbrok#alex høgh x reader#alex høgh andersen#alex høgh andersen fluff
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Sakusa with a S/O that suffers from OCD
CW warning for mentions of OCD; nothing explicit, but it is mentioned and talked about in a little bit of depth, but overall theme is comforting :)
This is mostly brain rot that hit me last night after spending too long in the Sakusa tags but,, bare with me this is the best I could dribble out in an hour ok. Probably should have put more thought into this for my first hq fic thing but you know what. thats just me baby
Ok hear me out
 I myself personally do not have OCD, but I am currently studying it and have friends with it so I know a fair deal about how it works and how negatively it can affect your day to day life. (If any dear readers do suffer from OCD, know that you are always understood and appreciated on my tl ok I love u sm and youâre doing a fuckin great job)
 And like⌠boy, if you land Sakusa as a boyfriend ur one lucky mf
 I donât know whether or not his phobia of germs runs deep enough for it to be comparable to that of OCD, but I think regardless of whether or not he has the same struggles as you, heâd understand 100% where your fears come from in that regard and heâll try really hard to help you as best as he can.
 I mean, truth be told, heâll feel pretty damn honoured that youâve let him into your life like this, with this proximity - his own personal hygiene puts your mind at rest to a considerable degree, if thatâs something you struggle with. After all, not all OCD cases are based on germs or dirt! Regardless of what shape or form your condition affects you, heâs so patient and mindful of every little thing that seems to bother you, heâll make note - mentally and physically, if need be - and trust me when I say you can rely on this man to look after you in whatever way you may need.
 If you struggle with patterns and rituals, heâs got all the patience in the world for you. Always. You sit up in bed waiting for him to complete his own, after all; he has his last shower of the day right before he settles in for the night, and his shampoo smells sharply of tea tree, but you donât mind; the strong scent helps settle the noise between your ears into a gentle fizz of white noise youâre happy to deal with. Christ, your manâs got a seven-step skin routine that he spends an hour on every night, and if youâre not sat cross-legged next to him doing it together then youâre in his lap, carefully pulling the edges of his sheet mask smooth and planting a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. You never question his own little routines, so why should he be bothered by yours, now matter how trivial they may seem, even to you?
Ever the keen observer, he picks up on the smaller things you do that you seem to be unaware of sometimes; the way you tap your index and middle finger in odd patterns against his chest when youâre drifting off to sleep. Or the way he catches you counting the windows downstairs and checking theyâre locked, sometimes four or five times in total before he can convince you to come to bed with gentle fingers weaving through your own, leading you to your safe haven.
Heâs honestly more than happy to set aside his own reservations to look after you - you yourself understand his own qualms and take every precaution to always be as clean as you possibly can be, and heâs more appreciative at the gesture than he can ever hope to express; he still struggles with showing his affection for you physically, despite being with you for an extended amount of time. He does his best though, as this always seems to distract and calm you at times - if he catches you staring at the wall at 3am, wringing your hands with wide eyes, he knows the best way to soothe you is a bit of skin to skin.
 He always starts slow, to avoid spooking you.
 Sakusa runs the back of his knuckles down your cheek, so soft you barely feel it at first; your head snaps to the side like a deer caught in headlights; Sakusa just gives you a small, gentle smile as his other hands finds yours under the quilt. His eyes are warm in the darkness, and his palm warmer.
 âCome on, love,â a small tug on your arm, and he lifts the quilt with his arm to invite you into the warmth he radiates. âCome to bed, now.â
 You never put up a fight, too mentally exhausted to ever deny him; the second your arms wrap around his waist and your face presses into his neck, you melt; a heavy, tremulous sigh works it way out of your throat, and you press closer as the smell of him permeates your senses, wearing away at your fatigue. If you werenât so tired, youâd spend some time examining the constellations of his freckles scattered around his chest. But the scent of him - tea tree and a hint of lavender from his face serum - is like your personal laudanum. Combined with the natural warmth of his frame, itâs a devastating combination that never fails.
 He may be a bit stiff at first, but as soon as your outward breath hits his skin, he shivers into relaxing around you. Youâre always so soft you meld to his physique perfectly; his nose buries in the crown of your hair, and he inhales carefully, revelling in the flowery scent of your shampoo.
Sakusa will never say it out loud, but being able to offer you comfort in such a simple form brings him a lot of joy - many of the things you struggle with neither of you can seem to control some days. There have been many times where the intrusive thoughts and compulsions are so strong you get stuck in a loop that has you in tears for a majority of the day, and something as simple as getting out of bed becomes a gargantuan task.
Thing is, he gets it. He may be a creature of habit with his ridiculously early morning runs, and eating practically the same thing every damn day, but say the word and heâll hang about your room with you if you need him.Â
Sakusa gets it, and he loves you.Â
#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#sakusa x reader#mbsy black jackals#haikyu#haikyu x reader#fluff#mental health mention#OCD#comfort#sakusa loves you#sakusa best boy#kiyoomi x reader#kiyoomi fluff#sakusa fluff#sakusa comfort
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How did komahina co-parent at first? How was hajimes reaction to the twins? Did bebi like getting siblings
komahina's co-parenting at first was...definitely an Ordeal. not even because of bebi, but bc komahina is a mess. originally hajime was very insecure about his role in bebi's life, as he had very clearly asserted himself as a separate person from izuru and that he was going to live as hajime and not someone else- so wouldn't that make bebi Not his kid? sure, they're his genetically, but in theory.... that was the dilemma he dealt with. he'd already grown attached to them when he was caring for them while nagito was still in a coma and worries now that nagito has woken up, his job is done, and that nagito won't want him around bebi anymore. in turn, nagito is worried that bc hajime is asserting himself as separate from izuru that he doesn't see bebi as his kid and will not be interested in raising them, that bebi will lose their father and nagito will lose his once-husband (lurking somewhere in hajime's subconscious...) turned best friend. they live together right off the bat, sleeping in the same bed (bebi likes to be held by the 2 of them to fall asleep...but even when bebi sleeps in their own bed they didn't think to get separate bedrooms or anything...) and end up becoming very.....affectionate with one another despite their claims that they're purely platonic. they "platonically" hold hands, cuddle, kiss, kiss, and more...intimate things in the cover of night ;) nagito's convinced hajime is just "using him for stress relief" and he's only truly staying bc he'd feel guilty leaving bebi. hajime thinks they're together. this miscommunication is not truly cleared up until hajime proposes. other than that, they both love bebi very very much and spend all their time with bebi, doting on them, playing with them, caring for them.
as for hajime's reaction to the twins- that in itself was also an Ordeal! when nagito found out he was pregnant again, bebi was very sick and in the hospital, which was very hard on nagito as he blamed himself. and he had resigned himself to leaving bebi and hajime, thinking they'd be safer without him in their lives. hajime was an adult who was fully informed of the danger of nagito's luck and had izuru's luck to protect him ! but bebi couldn't consent to that. he did not want to risk hurting his child in any capacity. so he resigned himself to leaving...but the news of pregnancy only devastated him further. to think he'd ruin not only bebi and hajime's lives but the life of another baby (not knowing it was twins lol)....it was too much for him. the plan was to leave the island, suffer through the pregnancy by himself, and come back after the birth to drop their new baby off before disappearing forever.
trans male pregnancy under the cut
bc nagito's carrying twins, the toll on his body during this pregnancy is far worse than it was during despair. he becomes very weak and sickly, especially with the added stress and despair of trying to leave his 'best friend' and kid, his kid being in the hospital,,, he hasn't been taking care of himself. the night bebi returns from the hospital (fully recovered! ...but having finally fully lost their vision in their right eye), hajime catches nagito trying to leave. he'd collapsed on his way out, having gotten incredibly dizzy. he'd left nothing but a note on the nightstand reading, "Be back soon." hajime wakes up to an empty bed and almost (almost) panics, steadies his breaths to the small snores of a sleeping baby in a nearby crib. he finds nagito half unconscious on the beach slumped on a duffel bag. "nagito??? nagito???? nagito!!! oh, thank god" "h...inata-kun?" "yea, it's me, come on, let's get you-" and nagitos eyes clear up and he shoves hajime away. "nagito-?" "stay away from me!" "nagito, you're not in your right mind, let's go back to the cabin-" "...how did you find me." "well, I found your note, which scared me shitless- I had no idea where you were or what had happened to you and frankly, I'm pretty pissed about that, but that can wait until I know you're safe-" "I'm so sorry, hinata-kun, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, hinata-kun, hinata-kun, hinata-kun-" "jeez, I said you can call me hajime... it's alright, relax, i'm not really mad. I was just worried." "you don't understand, you have to get away from me now-" "what are you even doing out here. what's with the bag" "hinata-kun." "....where were you going" "I hadn't decided yet" "why" "I-" "just bc you're in remission, you think you can just do whatever you want? what if something happened to you? goddamn it, you're not bullet proof, nagito! I know you're working on it, I know you're trying, but fuck you're so goddamn selfish! people care about you! I care about you! why can't you just understand that!" "i won't let myself hurt you!" "you're hurting me now!" "this will ruin your life, i will ruin your life-" "im your fucking....best friend, just tell me what's wrong, i can help you-" "nobody can help me, it's too late for me..." "goddamn it, nagito, please-!" and nagitos voice breaks when he whispers. "...i'm pregnant" ".......what" and nagito breaks into a quiet sob "I'm pregnant, hajime, and no one else on this island would dare defile themselves with me the way you have..." "are you serious?" "please don't make me say it again" and maybe if nagito weren't lost in a spiral of self deprecation and if his eyes weren't swimming with tears, he would've seen the nervous smile that broke out on hajime's face, the joy in his voice. "nagito, that's-!" "horrible? disgusting? i know I'm an abomination, hajime, maybe if my pathetic body functioned the way it was meant to-" "don't say that. don't you ever say that" "please just leave..." "you...you were pregnant with our kid and you were gonna leave??? what if you relapsed? what if you needed me?" hajime grabbed his face and forced nagito to look at him. "why are you doing this?" nagito laughed breathlessly, hysterically. "don't worry, hinata-kun, i would have brought them back! i simply didnt want to force you through the despair of having someone as putrid as me being pregnant, knowing that you've procreated with the lowest scum of the earth....surely it would ruin you. besides, i could never take your child from their father. nor would i subject them to my luck...will you let me go now, knowing your child will be alright" "they're your kid too" "for the sake of their sanity I'd rather keep that to myself" hajime steeled his expression, then grabbed Nagito's wrist. "we're going back to the cabin. we'll talk more in the morning." "Hinata-kun, let go of me." "nagito, let's go." "hinata, let go" "I'm not leaving you out here" nagito starts tearing up again and scratching frantically at his own skin. "please" "we're leaving." and hajime picks nagito up (he was
probably still too dizzy to walk anyway). but nagito starts screaming and thrashing and crying and weakly hitting hajime. "LET ME GO, LET ME GO, LET ME GO, IM GONNA HURT YOU, IM GONNA KILL YOU, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE-" and hajime starts silently crying too but he just holds on tighter and keeps walking. i think they get to the cabin and hajime sets him down on the bed and nagito starts punching hajimes chest (not hard) but hajime just grabs his wrists and holds them tight as nagito struggles and cries softly. "i ruined your life..me and this broken body of mine." "i...love you. you're not broken. I'm not leaving and neither are you." "i hate you..." "you're the best thing that ever happened to me." "I'll kill you..." "you won't." "why won't you just leave.." "why won't you stay." "..." "lets go to bed. we'll see mikan in the morning. get some rest." nagito is still scratching at his skin when hajime pulls him against his chest and forces nagito to lay down with him. "i love you" "im scared..." "i know" "im so sorry.." "i know. it's ok" "it's not" "as long as you're still with me, it is." "you're too kind to me.." "i love you." "how many times are you going to say that." "as many times as it takes for you to believe it." and the conversation pitters off as nagito silently sobs into hajime's chest until he passes out while Hajime rubs small circles into his back and presses kisses to his head. nagito wakes up with his eyes swollen face still tucked into Hajime's chest and he knows hajime's awake bc he can feel his chest vibrating with light hums and soft strokes to his hair. nagito looks up and licks his lips, eyes watering again when he sees hajime's patient gaze, his eyes crinkling in a worried smile, extenuating the eyebags and evident exhaustion. "hinata-kun, i'm so s-" "shhh. none of that. we're seeing mikan in a bit, i already called her. i'm sorry for not noticing what was going on. it must have been so hard dealing with this alone.." "you shouldn't have to deal with it.." "i want to. i love you. we're in this together. for as long as you'll have me. it's hard, it's really hard sometimes, because i hate seeing you like this..it makes me feel so helpless it reminds me of-- the. program. but it's worth it. for you, it's always worth it." "hinata..." "keep resting. don't strain yourself too much." "i love you...i love you..i love you ..." "i know." going to see mikan and mikan warns them that Yes nagito is in fact pregnant and the fact that he's just come off of chemo and is still in remission is gonna make the pregnancy tough on him physically and that he's gonna get about as sick as he was before but promises it's temporary and that she guarantees he'll see the baby to full term ("link that's medically incorrect" idc link does what he wants Hajime has a dude put in his head via lobotomy science is a liar sometimes) and hajime holds nagito's hand the entire time and presses a kiss to his cheek when he cries a little when mikan says the baby will be healthy and ok and survive and nagito turns to him and gives him a watery smile before laughing and crying joyously a little more and thats when hajime knows they'll be ok. they do talk more abt this whole thing, nagito's motives, bebi,,,,but that's like a 1k fic and this post is alr long enough đ
maybe i'll polish it and make it a fic. long story short, hajime's personally extremely happy that nagito's pregnant, but his worry over nagito's health as a whole, physical and mental kinda trumped that but past that- it's nothing but excitement! (they did not know they were having twins...so excitement and a surprise!) as for bebi, they were very happy to be getting a sibling! they love mimicking everyone they see by talking to their papa's tummy, touching it, generally babbling to komahina how they're gonna share their toys with the baby, will the baby play with them, can they share a room? they always want more love in their life !
#komahina#cw tokophobia#cw trans male pregnancy#im a trans guy before u come for me xoxo#danganronpa#bebi kamukura#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#anon#asks
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I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?
the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)
This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!
oOo
context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder
so...
one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles
and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok
and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away
"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again
but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"
and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces
and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again
but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful
but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.
and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-
it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again
"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.
and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby
and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside
. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that
when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle
but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy
roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.
but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED
so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.
"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"
logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"
and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"
logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no
so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"
"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.
he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too
so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown
every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"
when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away
and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are
so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.
as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries
they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future
but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)
they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch
oOo
just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:
logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home
it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small
his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true
and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back
and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3
hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him
he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing
#mama logan#little big eating disorder#do not reblog#long post#asks#adorable undead queen#little big after dark concepts
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Tides of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 12
Tides of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because one day to stop the Sifa evacuation lets gooooooo!
Last times on book: Amri and co are on a quest to unite all the Gelfling clans against the Skeksis and have hit an immediate snag. Maudra Ethri of the Sifa has decided instead that the Sifa will ditch Skeksis lands and sail to a new world guided by Captain skekSa, multi-talented voluntary exile from the Castle. Amri tries to stab skekSa which doesnât go as planned and now he feels like a dumb idiot fool. The Sifa are planning to leave by the next sunset so Team Naia only has one day to change Maudra Ethriâs mind.
Chapter 12
Team Naia attempts to change Maudra Ethriâs mind
While the day outside awakened, soon the cabin was quiet with the gentle sounds of sleep. When he heard snoring, Amri quietly pushed the quilt away, sighing. His body was exhausted but his mind refused to rest. So while the others slept, he silently crept out onto the deck.
Dang Amri, you didnât sleep at all?
He looks out at the ships bobbing in the bay and thinking about how this is a sight he never could have hoped to see and that back in the Caves of Grot heâd have given anything for these experiences. And now heâs just feeling an intense homesickness.
He ponders how he could just hop off the boat and be home in, like, two days.
Naia comes out and asks if he wants to talk about what happened.
âI donât know what there is to say.â
Naia nudged him with her elbow. âJust start talking. Words will come... If you want to, that is.â
He had plenty of feelings but he balked at saying them out loud. He tried to come up with something lighthearted to say, but instead of the usually endless-seeming well of quips, all he found was an empty pit of embarrassment and weariness.
=(
It was a kind of characteristic of him to play things off with a joke earlier in the book. Class clown Amri, sad clown Amri.
Naia tells Amri that nobody got hurt so maybe donât beat himself up too much. And that she was terrified the first time she faced a Skeksis so she admires Amriâs guts to just try to shank one.
Amri says its lucky he attacked the one Skeksis who was willing to forgive.
âShe could have...â
âBut she didnât.â
Which I think is the important thing here.
Amri confesses to Naia that he just feels useless. He canât do anything that the rest of the group takes for granted like... seeing! And walking in shoes! Everything, basically, that he hadnât wanted Naia to know. How much he was struggling and how lost he feels.
âI just want to be good at something, you know? Youâre so strong. Fierce Naia. And Kylan, the song teller with the magic firca. Tavra, soldier daughter of the All-Maudra.â
Maybe Amriâs thing is being a hype-man? Because those are good descriptions of his friends.
âThe things Iâm good at donât matter up here... Iâm probably going to end up being Amri the Forgotten. Like the rest of my clan.â
Naia caught her breath in her throat. âOh, Amri...â
She didnât try to untangle his fists, didnât tell him not to be sad. Didnât scold him or tell him he was wrong for feeling the way he felt. She just rested her hand on this, and at the moment it was all he needed. She was with him. Straightforward and truthful, and still sitting beside him despite what heâd told her and what they were up against.
The loneliness clenching his heart loosened.
Aww, frens.
Sometimes you just need permission to feel what youâre feeling out in the open.
And this is honestly a good group to feel overwhelmed and useless in. Every single other POV character has felt the same. And we have to read into Tavraâs feelings because sheâs super buttoned up but sheâs a spider who canât do a lot of what she used to do. I think everybody here gets what Amriâs feeling, to one extent or another.
With those feelings out in the opening, Amri pivots over to being frustrated about the Sifa situation. The Sifauation. Although that sounds more like Sifa infatuation. Hmm.
Naia says that sheâs disappointed too but its not up to one person to figure this out. The whole point is for Gelfling to come together; to trust and rely on each other.
And then she tells him that theyâll DEFINITELY get through these interesting times because she promised to take him to the Sog to see the Great Smerth and introduce him to Gurjin and the rest of her family. If the real world thinks it can make a liar out of her, it has another thing coming.
Amri wonders if Gurjin got home to the Sog safely but Naia is sure he did because of a sort of twin-bond where right as sheâs waking up, when sheâs between conscious and unconscious, she feels as if sheâs at home in the Sog and knows thats Gurjin.
Twins is special.
Annnnnnd thennnnnn Ethriâs ship the Omerya sets sail.
Followed by the rest of the Sifa ships.
Its not even sunset yet! Thereâs three suns and theyâre rising, not setting! Ethri!
Naia and Amri run to wake everyone up and Onica also sets sail, hoping to catch up to the Omerya before it hits open ocean where its many more sails will make it impossible for Onicaâs small ship to catch up.
Hey, does Onicaâs boat have a name? It just keeps getting called Onicaâs boat.
Onicaâs ship the Onicaâs Boat pulls alongside the Omerya where Naiaâs shouty voice outlouds the waves to reach Ethri.
âIf youâre here to try and convince me again, save yourself the effort!â she shouted. âBut if youâre here to apologize and come with us, you best hurry up. That little ship wonât make it across the Silver Sea, even with skekSaâs help!â
Apparently a bunch of Sifa had to abandon their smaller boats to consolidate on board the bigger ones.
Even with that I donât know if all the Sifa will make it. Thereâs a big difference between ships that hug the coasts and ships designed to cross the ocean.
Onica jumps from Onicaâs Boat to the Omerya in a pretty sweet jump and throws a line from the bigger ship to Kylan.
The entirety of Team Naia crosses over to the Omerya to give Ethri a talking at.
âEthri!â Onica cried. âYou must stop this. You must heed the signs. If you have any faith left in me, as a Far-Dreamer -- as your friend!â
âFaith has nothing to do with this, Onica,â Ethri said. âA storm brews in the Skarith Land. That is the sign Iâm heeding. The pink petals with their song. The rumors of the Skeksis at the castle, feeding off the Gelfling. I canât be reckless anymore, not with the lives of my clan at stake. I will do what must be done, winds and tides be damned.â
That would be a heroic determination speech in many other contexts. And if the action were less âabandon the other clans.â
And even though Ethri is saying this with determination, Amri and Onica see the doubt in her. Onica begs her to be the Ethri who Onica knows Ethri to be.
âYou and Tae trusted me once,â Ethri said. âAnd you alone paid a terrible price.â
âIn exchange for a wonderful gift, worth the price I paid. One I am greatful for every day.â
The Far-Dreamerâs soft reply was like the ocean, passionate and eternal. Even Amri felt swept up in it, and he was but a silent witness to her truth. Onica took Ethriâs shoulders in her hands, and this time the maudra did not protest.
Frens?
So. Hey. Thereâs some Tragic Backstory between these three Sifa and I know, in the middle of a heart-felt confrontation, is not the time to explain it in detail to anyone not in the loop, but hey, I wanna know.
Onica tells Ethri that they canât know the future, only heed the signs that Thra gives them. And asks when the last time Ethri looked into the prophecy fires of the Omeryaâs hearth.
Its been mentioned a few times that it looks like there hasnât been a fire lit there in a while.
Tae jumps in and also suggests that Ethri light the hearth of Omerya to read the signs.
All the Sifa on the deck, recognizing a moment for crowd action if theyâve ever seen one, all step forward and join hands.
âAnd if the flames say we flee?â [Ethri] whispered.
Onica approached the fire and held out her hand, beckoning.
âThen we will heed the sign,â she said. And we will heed it together.â
Wow, what a short book. Well, time to start Flames of the Dark- oh, different flames I guess.
The Sifa parted around Maudra Ethri as she walked to the hearth fire. Onica waited for her, hands open and palms filling with sunlight. Ethri took the Far-Dreamerâs hands and sighed, as if sheâd come home after a long journey.
âThen join with me, my beloved Sifa,â Ethri said. âAnd you, who carry out Aughraâs task. Let us see what the future brings.â
=]
#dark crystal#the dark crystal#Tides of the Dark Crystal#liveblog#Amri#Kylan#Naia#Onica#Maudra Ethri
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Out of Reach- Mattsun x Reader, Makki x Reader
Chapter Two
Series Masterlist
Summary: Youâve been friends with Mattsun, Makki, Iwaizumi and Oikawa since first year, and you guys are an unstoppable team. But your crush, and Makkiâs, might just bring everything tumbling down. Warnings: Angst, unrequited love, rather a lot of repression. A/N: this is fem!reader now bc I really liked the âi dont think thats proper uniform, young ladyâ line. u think makki is ur mom friend but hes actually just in love w uÂ
Giving you his clothes to sleep in had been a mistake, Makki realised. Seeing you asleep on the couch- you'd had a 10 minute debate about who would sleep there and won out of sheer stubbornness- in his hoodie was driving him insane. How was he supposed to stop himself from thinking about going to sleep with you in his arms when you were right there, in his clothes? And who decided you could be that cute when you slept? This was not gonna be an easy week. "Hey, sleepyhead." He gently shook you awake, his heart doing flips when you blinked up at him with sleepy eyes. "Makki... hi." You smiled at him lazily, and he could've kissed you right there. "You gotta go get ready for school. D'you want me to walk you home before I go to practice?" "No it- it's okay. I'll meet you outside the gym before class? I'll bring you something to eat." "That sounds great." He waited for you while you put your clothes back on, but you came out still wearing his hoodie. "I'm cold." You whispered for an explanation. "I'm gonna start keeping a jacket here for you, you'd forget your head if you could." He had absolutely no issue with you keeping his hoodie,except for the fact that it did nothing but worsen the fire youâd lit in his heart. "You sound like my mom when you say that." You pouted at him as you pulled your shoes on. "Well, she's right!"
â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â
 He walked out of the gym to see you sat on the bench, now properly attired for school. With one exception- his hoodie, unzipped but still a definite violation of school dress codes. "You know, I don't think that's proper uniform young lady." "Stop talking like my mom! It's creepy." You handed him a box, which contained some rice and pork, and smiled. "Breakfast, made by yours truly." "You sure he won't get food poisoning?" You perked up at the sound of Mattsunâs voice, though it was the kind of thing only Makki would notice. "Oh, morning Mattsun! Don't bully me." You whined at him, but he just stuck his tongue out in response. You wanted to kick yourself for the way your heart fluttered. "Since when did you meet us after monrning practice, Y/N?" Oikawa popped up behind Mattsun, Iwa following suit. "And since when did you start bringing Makki food?" "Since now! He helped me out last night, I'm just being a good friend." Makki chose to ignore what felt like an arrow to his heart. Oikawa didn't seem convinced, glancing between the two of you a few times before moving on. The 5 of you said your goodbyes until lunch and headed to class, and you tried to act like you weren't falling apart as Mattsun relayed his date to you on the way. You were determined to be supportive, no matter how much this hurt.Â
â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â â˘Â When you met up with them at lunch, after struggling to get yourself through the crowd Oikawa attracts daily- some of the girls still hadn't gotten the message that you sit with them and that stopping you from getting through is gonna get them nothing more than a glare from Oikawa or some harsh words from Iwa- Mattsun had thankfully exhausted the "I have a girlfriend" topic already, and you didn't have to endure too much pain. What you did have to endure, however, was the consequences of your idiot friends deciding that today was a good day to sit outside despite it being freezing. You'd given Makki his hoodie back already, and hadn't thought to bring a jacket. "Y/N, you're shivering." You looked up at Oikawa, confused for a second- you genuinely hadn't noticed- before you realised. "Oh, well it's cold today. I didn't bring a jacket." You heard Makki sigh next to you, and he pulled his hoodie out of his bag. "Put this back on." "Makki, I'm fine you don't need t-" "Put it on. And bring a jacket tomorrow." You smiled at him, grateful for such a good friend, and pulled it on. You knew he wouldn't take no for an answer. You leaned your head on his shoulder and poked his cheek to make him look at you, grinning at him. "You're so good to me, Makki." "Gah- don't be embarrassing!" He willed his cheeks not to flush as he turned his head away from you. Neither of you noticed Oikawa observing you both carefully.
Chapter Three
#my writing#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu imagines#matsukawa#matsukawa issei#mattsun#matsukawa x reader#matsukawa issei x reader#mattsun x reader#hanamaki#hanamaki takahiro#makki#hanamaki x reader#hanamaki takahiro x reader#makki x reader
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I stopped taking my medication back in like. February because I was on it consistently for almost four years and I figured I had adjusted well enough to where I didn't need it anymore, but suffice to say that the reasons my medication was necessary are coming back in full force and destroying my life again. so even if the way I'm acting now is reminiscent of the behavior that got me put on it to begin with, at least its still nowhere near as intense, but its still enough to make me miserable
so like after a ton of bullshit with the doctors office I finally got refills on my prescriptions but one won't be able to be filled until tomorrow because the pharmacy was out of stock, and right now its just the one. I was taking 5mg of the mood stabilizers and 5mg of the antidepressants but after years of the mood stabilizers sedating and exhausting me I asked him to cut that in half and double the antidepressants, but now that I'm struggling again I'm back to he 5mg of the mood stabilizer and 10mg of the antidepressants and fellas
lemme just say
that the way my body feels physically right now is exactly why I stopped taking the medication to begin wifh LMAO I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 14 and every mood stabilizer has always fucking made me exhausted, when I was in the 9th grade and on this experimental drug called geodon I seriously would fall asleep while standing up for the national anthem and I slept in gym class. literally I would sleep in fucking gym class, please do not ask me how I managed it but 9th grade was a miserable time
and the shit im on now isn't as powerful in that aspect but it generally is very normal for me to sleep for like at least 12 hours a day, and for a while getting up before 10am was almost physically impossible. I understand now though that that's just the side effect of being on this, and I do know the benefits greatly outweigh the detriments but it still really fucking sucks LOL
and the thing is I'm not even on the mood stabilizers yet (; this is just the antidepressants babey
but even if i am very tired, I'm already feeling more relaxed and mellowed out. its easier for me to just sit alone with my thoughts without it immediately going to something very nihilistic or morbid, even when a conversation earlier felt like it was headed in that direction. I've been struggling a lot with my depression ever since I lost my childhood cat back in June, and it feels like its only been getting worse in the last year despite having been on medication for a lot of that time. but I'm in a better environment with better people and things are starting to look up for me, and for a long time I was saying how my depression is very much a result of the environment and circumstance I found myself in back in Ohio.
its interesting how now that I'm out of that environment, my depressed thoughts are manifesting in much darker ways, but thats something for a therapist to help me with and not a personal blog post on tumblr dot com where I should be sitting there thinking about babystump's dsl instead of talking about how I'm trying to hate my life less. I have a lot of posts like these saved in my drafts because this is where I get my thoughts out when I feel too bad bothering my friends with this kind of shit but I'm posting this one because its more positive and its an update on how I've been doing I guess for those this applies to
#in which i talk about being back on my medication#no one has to read this if they dont want to im posting it mostly for myself#and for like the three friends who care about how im doing LOL
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On My Block Season 2 threw down the metaphorical artistic gauntlet & there ainât a Squad gully enough to pick it up.Â
I hope people who've seen season one and now season two realize that what's taken place before their eyes is called elevation. This is how an ongoing show is supposed to handle things. Season one laid down a foundation for its audience and season two did not make the silly mistake of disregarding that foundation but instead pulled that bitch from under the audienceâs feet to give us that freefall feeling and then used it to cushion our fall - reminding exactly why we loved it. it had me hyped, made me laugh, made me cry - often all in the same episode. Things that I thought were gonna happen didnât happen how I thought they were gonna happen and that's how they kept me perched, on edge, interested even through sleep deprivation.
These were the same characters Iâd grown to love in season one. Despite the hardship, despite the bullshit they returned to us the characters whom weâd grown to know and love and unveiled them just a bit more. When jamal rolled in money - I felt as though i was rolling in the dough. When Monse was telling Cesar what to do I was nodding along as though she was me, as though her opinions were mine. When Jasmin spoke I listened for a lesson was being given. When Cesar or Ruby cried - we all cried.
The musical scale out did the last and I didnât even know that was possible. from the very first song they used to open the show and place all of us in our feelings - to the return of the track that left such a huge mark last season. They music not only to alter how we feel moment to moment, but to make authentic the era, style and culture the show is marked upon.
The Breakdown:
This season is broken down into two variables - solo hero's journey & and overarching theme. Â The former can be elements as such:Â
- Ruby's battle with PTSD
-Â Monse's battle of solidifying her feet instead of running
- Jamal's fight to be shine, be seen, be respected (and that has as much to do with audience as with Squad)
- Cesar's unsettled feeling of being alone (although he and we really learn how much he has)
- Jasmin staking her claim to her position
With season one ending in a death of a loved on and a wound of his own - we find Ruby healing. At first he's in a state of denial...This is a reality many black and brown people find themselves suck in, not about the mishap no, but about the trauma that comes with it. Like Ruby, we disassociate. We go with a 'it's life, bad shit happens, yet I'm alive and I should see the blessing in that and keep pushing forward' mentality that does not allow us to first dissect that trauma and journey through that pain as we should. The show acknowledges that damage and thus we end up having seemingly unlikely people help Ruby he's not only on a journey but deserves to allow himself to take that path to real recovery. Jason Genao did such a wonderful job - from the simplicity of wanting to unwind with some spontaneous party organizing to the quick emotional windup that taunts when something reminds you of your trauma.
Monse is the character I relate to the most because I see myself in the nature of her traits while also being able to identify with her internal struggle. Being abandoned put puts a complex within an individual that most people cannot understand - def it's that first abandonment is by a parent who we're taught is supposed to love, protect and be there for us. People who are abandoned can either gain traits of being clingy or having issues forming a bond or leaving. Monse of course like most has a duality of this. The bond is important to her and she'll do anything to maintain it but on the other hand she has a sense to leave when stuff it too uncomfortable. We see this several time in this season alone. But the real lesson for Monse is not a reprehend on her fears or traits but reality of being loved and accepted. No matter what you do, where you go, you love us and we love you and we'll be waiting when you get back.
Jamal is that character doesn't get the respect he deserves - that in story and from the audience that watches the show. The show took this in hand this season. As Jamal never ceased to remind the squad of his work on their behalf he steepled his worth asl and the actor that plays him, Brett Gray, yet again flexed his comedic chops for the masses yet again. I think Jamal doesn't understand how iconic he is, how amazing he is for those in story and out. He's coming off of that high of being on the heels of an adventure.
Jasmin also got shine this season. They humanize her without changing her, dimming her light or having her apologize for who she is as women have to do when the world feels they're too boisterous, too loud in tone, look and voice. She loved herself enough to remain true to herself and those who took the time out to see who that was, got to love her. Like all the characters she was opinionated, and even when the whole crew don't realize it she has something to add to the squad - thus what allows her to be the honorary member of the team. Also Jessica Garcia is another comedic genius in the element.
Cesar went from being in the hard place of his brother's gang to being in what seemed like an impossible place of no gang and seemingly no protection. Exiled from the Santos he's literally homeless and isolated from his last remaining relative. He find himself shipping from one one home to the next, exhausted with having to adapt to different family cultures. This was interesting because as they show we are ironically who we are in part do to our family living styles at home. There were a lot of jokes about Cesar's one color tanks and knee high shorts but when he starts surfing from house to house you get to see this 'culture' of how these people lived from an outsiders perspective - the man chilling vibe he received with Monse's dad. The rushed, lively, full feeling of Ruby's home that at first felt crowded to him. The eccentric way Jamal ran his bedroom. Even the weirdness of Chivo and his 'family'. While these aspects of these difference threw him of kilter at first he learned to appreciate and truly love each and everyone for those same difference. He learned the art of gratitude because people tend to treat their homes as their safe places - not just for heir forms but their identities. We can be exact who we are in the face of our homes. As he thought he had nothing, those around him that loved him welcomed him into their safe space - despite the physical danger. This bonded his relationship with these people even more because there's a difference in saying we're family and you showing that I'm your family. And yes it was beautiful to see them credit the two black men of the parenthood for taking this kids life seriously and holding court for him. It was beautiful watching him come to love and appreciate Jamal and understand the wealth that comes with this friendship and making a strong brotherhood (def considering the war of gangs between brown and black men).
Every character must thread their given path to meet in a middle of shorts with everyone else. And noticed I didn't say they must complete the journey - travel it alone. We get the the end satisfied but still with the knowledge that the work is yet to be done. Ruby's PTSD and pain did not magically dissolve. Monse's abandonment issues didn't evaporate into nothingness. Jamal may have sculpt his worthiness yet the anxiety of 'what's next' still snipes at him. Cesar may have learned to appreciate what he does have but lost in the aspect of independence and what that means in the face of those around him that he loves and how to make that not mean being alone. Jasmin may have Ruby and us kneeling at her feet learning the error of our ways but she still got 3 other members to break.
It is these individual journeys that push the narrative forward, that reveals the overarching theme so to speak. Without these journeys there's nothing to carry the overarching theme. This is what I call great writing because it forces the threads to connect but still allows all individual characters to have their own position in the story that equals out.
The Revelation of a Theme:
Everything about this season was about family. When we watched Spooky, Mario, and Jasmin help guide Ruby through his symptoms of PTSD and trauma, what we were witnessing was family at work. When Cesar, Jamal, and Ruby laughed while rolling their eyes in disbelief of Monse's leaving for good speech - thats was love. When they tell her you'll be back and we'll be here...that was the understanding of family. When we see those around Jamal grow to see his worth by working to this appreciation its an aspect of a real familyâs effort. The sacrifice, and support that came both for and from Cesar was hella representation of family. Jasminâs whole storyline is the representation of new family.
This season didn't truffle with pointlessness. They didn't find conflict by creating false hate between the characters. They didn't drag this aspect of 'let's blame Cesar' or have that be an easy tension between him and Ruby. As a matter of fact their bond was deepened. Ruby had no hate in his heart for Cesar, instead he embraced his brother in the street and they cried, for themselves and each other.
This whole season was about being willing to sacrifice, being willing to be selfless for those you love. Everyone allowing Cesar to live with them, Jamal allowing it to be 'our' money, Monse's dad not trying to force her to stay away from her mom despite his feelings where Julia was concerned, them risking it to clean the money, Jamal giving up the gnome. Their rush to burn the money when they thought it would put someone else life in danger.
It was this concept of sacrifice and selflessness that sends Cesar after Latrelle in hopes of freeing his friends when Ruby comes to him distraught.
Cesar on most scopes is not a killer. As he told his brother he's not cut from the cloth of gang life. We see him called pussy for not being about that life. For not being able to end a life over turf wars, money, or Ill-intent words thrown his way. But as everyone had to show what they were willing to do for the concept of family - so too did Cesar. Good or bad - we saw what Cesar would be willing to pull the trigger for.
They all loved eachother, with that love came a protection and a fight to rival any and all that didn't have good intentions. This season was love. It was family, sacrifice, acceptance, respect. Ruby was willing to heal for it, Monse willing to stay for it, Jamal willing to fight for it, Jasmin is willing to be patient for it, Cesar was willing to kill for it. OMB is about this diverse mix of kids who have this bond that they've learned to nurture. It's speak on who they're allowed to be because it and how far they're willing to go to keep it.
In my last review my byline was "On my block, squad means family" and this season has proven that for this crew, Â squad still and always will mean Familia.
How do you define family and how do you allow it to define you?
Other post/aspects to be on the look out for:
Mario/Ruby vs Spooky/Cesar Cesar X Monse - The breakdown Monse Family -The genius Jamal/Jasmin Jasmin/Ruby
Donât forget to follow me for future post and reviews!
#on my block#omb#netflix original series#cesar diaz#monse finnie#ruby martinez#Jamal Turner#oscar spooky#jasmin#diego tinoco#jessica garcia#sierra capri#jason genao#brett gray#season 2#review#Entertainment
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So how do you see Frisk & Chara's relationship playing out based on your headcanons?
sorry im getting to this So late... Iâm also answering this assuming a few failed-no-mercy-turned-neutral runs -> pacifist run bc thats my own personal hcÂ
Frisk falls down, bitter and upset at being alive because they did not expect nor want to be, and ghost narrator Chara is still dazed and confused because the last thing they remember is dying. Both of them are hurt and upset and angry and terrified and enraged and etc etc etc. Chara talks about how everyone and everything is worthless, including themselves, this eggs on Frisk who starts lashing out at anything that moves, then once they feel guilt creeping up their back, they reset and do this over and over again, both them and Chara retaining memories of it.
After a good number of runs, theyâre both finally... exhausted, and horrified at what theyâd done. The breaking point is when they finally get to New Home on their last attempt at a no mercy run and they both agree that they canât do this anymore, and that a different path must be chosen. Thus, they make a decision to always show kindness to others even in the potential absence of receiving any back, and this starts them on their final run; the pacifist run.
Chara takes their narrator role to Frisk much more seriously, trying to make the underground seem like a more fun and interesting place they remembered it in life, and slowly but surely reveal themself to be someone who likes reading long pretentious books, who likes making puns, who likes knitting sweaters for their dad, who loves baking pie with their mother, who loves drawing pictures with their brother, but most importantly; a child that was/is hurting inside, just like Frisk.
By the end of the pacifist run, Frisk doesnât want to leave Chara, doesnât want to give up the only true friendship theyâve had in years, with the only other person whoâs ever truly understood them. Chara insists that itâs alright, that this is what must happen, and they return to their resting place under the golden flowerbed and go back to sleep. Asriel stays by their grave, waiting for his goat form to dissipate and to return back to being Flowey. Frisk is filled with dread at the thought of having to leave Chara and Asriel behind, but theyâre even more filled with determination to save these kids theyâve grown to care for so much. After doing a full sweep before going back to New Home, they eventually leave the underground with everyone else, pondering ways in which they could eventually give Chara and Asriel the happy ending they truly deserve the entire time.
All in all, despite the fact that they had an exceptionally rocky start to their friendship, Frisk and Chara understand one another and the struggles theyâve gone through like almost no one in either of their lives ever previously has. Theyâre friends, of course, but they also regard each other as siblings.
#you know that saying thats like 'siblings by blood friends by choice'? its that but reverse#'friends by the force bond of our linked souls but siblings by choice' sahdgsgajskdsk#not art#undertale#long post#ask#Anonymous
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Coming Home To You
Requested:Â Y/n works in the hospital and come home from work exhausted and she's been on call all week and so many people have died and Shawn is cooking dinner knows she's about to break down the second she walked through that door and he saw her face and she just collapses on him and cries and he conforts her. thank u!
[feat. exhausted y/n, caring!Shawn, fluff, fluff, FLUFF]
~
This entire week has honestly been so much more difficult than you expected. You work as a nurse in a hospital, and this is your second year, so you thought youâve experienced everything there is to experience, but this week has proven you so wrong, and left you exhausted.Â
When your shift finally ends, all you can think about is getting home to Shawn. Shawn had some time off this week, but youâve had to work the whole week, which made it even worse for you since you were on call all week. Just to survive the drive back home without falling asleep, you have to blast the ac and turn the music up loud, forcing yourself to sing along and keep your eyes from falling closed.Â
When you finally manage to get home and inside, you spot Shawn in the kitchen cooking dinner. He looks up at you when he hears the door close. âHey love, how was work?â He questions, but his smile quickly  fades when he notices how exhausted you are.Â
You take a deep breath. Thats not even a question you want to answer, not a question you want to even think about right now, so you just say, âLong.â
With the long hours, and extra stress this week, youâre left feeling emotionally exhausted and physically drained. You knew going into it that being a nurse isnât easy. You knew it was hard work and not for the faint of heart, but you didnât know it would be this hard.Â
Shawn notices that youâre barely holding it together. You drop your purse on the ground next to you as Shawn immediately does the thing he does best. He always knows just what you need. He quickly closes the space between the two of you, dinner now abandoned forgotten on the stove as he wraps his arms around your body. Before you can process anything, the tears are pouring down your face and you canât stop them. You donât even try.
âI got you,â Shawn whispers into your ear as he cradles your head close to his chest. You havenât even told him what's wrong. You havenât found the words to describe to him how difficult your week has been. He knows to some extent, but not fully. He doesn't seem to need you to tell him for him to be able to sense that a lot is wrong, but mostly youâre just exhausted. Youâve spent so much time over this past week taking care of so many people. Sometimes it was unappreciated. Sometimes it didnât even seem to make a difference. And now you so badly need someone to take care of you.Â
Its a good thing Shawn is here because youâre not sure what would have happened if you had to come home to an empty house. You donât want to think about the what ifs because this is one thing you can be grateful for right now.Â
Youâre leaning all of your body weight on Shawn, not trusting yourself to support your own weight, but Shawn doesnât complain. He holds you up, lending you his strength for the moment. He leans back a little, pushing you off of him slightly. He only does this so he can see your face. He doesnât expect you to tell him whatâs wrong right now. Heâs got a pretty good idea it has to do with the stress of your job becoming too much, and the exhaustion that had been piling up all week. He just needs to look at your face. He needs to be sure that its not something else, that you donât need something else from him.Â
He wipes a few tears away from your face, and youâre not liking the distance so you lean in again and he wraps his arms back around your shoulders. After a few more minutes of you crying, your tears finally start to subside. You find yourself feeling weak and foolish for crying so unprovoked, but all Shawn says as you finally stop is, âI know itâs been a rough day, a rough week really.âÂ
He gently kisses the top of your head in the most loving and caring way possible, âI got you now. Iâll take care of you.âÂ
Youâre used to taking care of people, your patients, your family, your friends, Shawn. But sometimes you just canât do it because you have nothing left. In times like this, you canât take care of anyone because you can barely take care of yourself. Shawn knows that better than anyone. He knows how much you struggle when youâre feeling like this because youâre used to taking care of people. Shawnâs the only person in your life who genuinely cares to take care of you.
You start to push him away, mumbling something about going to bed, but he pulls you back to himself. âFood first.â His voice is soft and kind, but it also isnât a question or option. You want to sleep, more than anything right now, but thereâs no denying the fact that you havenât eaten anything for the past eight hours, and your growling stomach isnât letting up. Even Shawn probably heard it, which is why heâs so insistent that you eat first.Â
You nod, untangling yourself from Shawnâs arms as you start toward the stove. He follows closely behind, âI got it babe, go sit down?â This time it is a question. He knows you donât do well with sitting idly while other people work.Â
âIâll get us drinks.â You say, instead of listening to his request to sit down. Heâs satisfied with that, having expected nothing less from you, even when youâre exhausted.Â
You struggle to keep your eyes open, but you devour your food rather quickly. Even though you knew that your stomach was growling, it was like you didnât realize how hungry you were until the food was in front of you.Â
When youâre finished, you take the dishes to the sink and turn on the water to start washing them. âLeave it baby, Iâll do it later.â You hear Shawnâs voice from across the kitchen. Heâs putting the remaining food away in the fridge.Â
âNo, Shawn,â You reply simply, âYou cooked.â Itâs part of your rules, when one person cooks, the other cleans up after dinner. Itâs only fair.Â
He comes up behind you, taking the dish out of your hand, âAnd you worked all day.â He turns off the water, and pulls you away from the sink. You donât even bother resisting.Â
He leads you upstairs into the bathroom where he turns on the shower, checking to make sure he gets the temperature just right. You quickly step out of your scrubs, then start undoing the braids in your hair. Youâre honestly so tired and not exactly thinking straight, so you donât know if Shawn is intending to shower himself or if heâs just turning it on for you. Whether or not he is planning on showering, youâre going to get in there, not caring to wait your turn.Â
He steps back, turning to you once he decides the water is the right temperature, and you step in. He observes you for a few seconds, probably trying to make sure youâre not going to fall asleep in the shower. When he finally decides that you seem awake enough, he leaves the bathroom, leaving the door open a crack behind him. You donât think much of it, and quickly shower, wanting to just be clean and in bed.
Shawn enters the bathroom again just as youâre finishing up. You see him through the foggy shower door. He puts some clothes down on the kitchen sink then begins to brush his teeth. Once youâre out of the shower, you wrap yourself up in a towel. Shawn finishes brushing his teeth, and he lets you know that he brought the clothes in for you before he leaves the bathroom again.Â
You put on your underwear before pulling on the white t-shirt thatâs way too big because itâs Shawnâs. You love wearing Shawnâs t-shirts to bed, and he knows that. After putting on moisturizer and brushing your teeth, youâre finally ready to fall into bed.Â
When you enter your bedroom, Shawn is seated on the small couch in the corner of the room folding laundry. He must have washed it while he was home today and just taken it out of the dryer. You barely pay attention to him, crawling into bed.Â
You lay alone for a few seconds before calling out, âShawn?â
âYeah babe?â He responds from across the room.Â
âAre you coming to bed?âÂ
âAs soon as I finish folding the laundry. I donât want it to be wrinkled.â
You nod, even though your eyes are closed so youâre not even sure if he is looking at you or not. Turning onto your side, you try to fall asleep again. After a few more minutes, you realize that you canât fall asleep, despite how exhausted you are.Â
âShawn?â
âMhmm?â You hear him hum in response.
âHow much longer?â You canât help that youâre being needy. On any other night, youâd just be grateful that Shawn is doing laundry, but tonight you donât care. Tonight you only see it as something keeping him from you, and you want none of it.Â
He only chuckles at this question, realizing how much you want him in bed with you. You open your eyes to see him abandoning the laundry basket of clothes, and coming over to the bed. He crawls in next to you. Lying on his side, he rests his hand on your waist to let you know heâs there.Â
You pull his hand so his arm is wrapped around you, his hand close to your chest. He readjusts, getting closer to you. Finally, youâre content enough to let the exhaustion overpower you as you fall into a deep sleep in Shawnâs arms.
#Shawn Mendes#Shawn Peter Raul Mendes#shawn mendes blurb#Shawn Mendes imagine#Shawn Peter Raul Mendes imagine
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