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liminalpebble · 9 months ago

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Eddie's Education, Chapter 30

Minors DNI

Masterlist link

Chapter 30

“I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”

“So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

Eddie paused his dramatic recitation, hastily marking his raggedy paperback edition of The Lord of the Rings with a dogeared corner. He thought for a moment that he saw her stir, begin to wake, anything...but he was just seeing what he wanted to see out of the corner of his eye. It must have been the hundredth time he checked.

He reached over to hold Leia's hand. He didn't like seeing her lovely arms tangled up in tubes and medical tape and the mask strapped over her mouth, it looked a little too much like Vecna's trap. The memory was still fresh; literal and figurative wounds still raw.

His big coffee-colored eyes welled up, and his throat ached as his gaze shifted to the pile of books he'd brought to read to her. The same ones always called out to him from the bottom of the stack each time he looked; The Haunting of Hill House and The Silmarillion.

Her books, he always thought to himself (although she had given them to him). Books that had traveled with her all her life, smelled like her perfume, and contained handwritten letters to him on their front pages. Eddie couldn't bring himself to read them yet. To do so felt like he would be admitting her absence was permanent. It felt like giving up on her.

When she wakes up, she'll tell me herself. She'll look into my eyes and smile and tell me all the sweet things she wrote and she'll tell me her dreams for our lives together now that all this is over and I'll get to kiss her again and hold her again and...

Eddie put his head in his hands, rubbing roughly at his red eyes in frustration, nearing tears, when he heard a stern voice.

“Edward Munson.”

He looked up to see two of Hawkins' finest in their uniforms and buzz cuts staring him down.

He swallowed and heaved out a heavy sigh, disguising his feelings with a veneer of annoyance. “It's 'Eddie', Brad. You know that. We went to high school together.”

“Watch it,” Brad said in a warning tone, “it's Officer Vernon now.”

Eddie rolled his eyes then plastered on a shit-eating grin as he said, “and what can I do for you this fine day, Officers?” dripping with condescension.

The other one, whose face was still pock-marked with acne and looked like he belonged in gym class, not on the force, said, “I guess we should cut to the point, right? Officer Vernon and I have been putting some things together about you, Mr. Munson.”

Eddie raised his eyebrow in mock-surprise. “Such as?”

Brad spoke up louder, annoyed that it was taking this long, “That two very strange deaths have occurred in the last week...John Ferguson and Sam Huxley. Now, looking into things, it seems your new little girlfriend over there rubbed both of these guys the wrong way. AND...their autopsy reports look a whole lot like Chrissy Cunningham's...remember her, Eddie? You should, since you were the last one to see her alive.”

Eddie stood up, getting right in Brad's stupid pig face and said through gritted teeth, barely holding himself back, “Leia didn't do anything to anybody, and neither did I. You just want some easy targets and to get off on some little power trip. If you have rude bullshit to say about me, or especially, about her, you're not going to spout it off here, Barney Fife! Have some fucking respect.”

The piss ant one who looked like he was 14 said, “Why bother? She's in a coma.”

Eddie grabbed the front of his uniform with a wild look in his eyes, vibrating with rage.

Just then a burly cop with thick gray hair, a goatee, and a permanent scowl sauntered up behind them, looking over his glasses and holding a mug of coffee. He bellowed out, “Hey. What the fuck, guys? I'm months from retirement and you're here to pull this stupid bully act? What are you, 12?”

The two officers turned around. The young one looked ready to piss his pants. Brad squeaked out, “Chief Hopper!! Sir.”

Hop just shook his head and looked to Eddie. “Easy, kid. Let's talk.” He looked back to his subordinates and commanded, “and you two....fuck off, will you? You don't go anywhere near either of them again or I'll have you on desk duty for the rest of your lives. Learn some respect. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir,” they mumbled, slinking off with their tails between their legs.

When they were out of earshot and out of view, Eddie slumped out of his aggressive stance to land heavily right back into the plastic chair, head flopping heavily back into his hands. Hop pulled up a chair next to him and patted him on the shoulder. After a long moment, Eddie sat back up with a deep inhale and said, “I thought in 15 years Brad would have grown a brain cell or two. Guess I was wrong.”

Hop gave a deep chuckle and said, “Sorry about that. If it's any consolation, I didn't hire them.”

Eddie chuckled. “Thanks for the save, Hop, but I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 35.”

Hop grunted in affirmation and blew on his coffee. “Yeah I know, but when I look at you, I still see that scared kid with a good heart stuck in a holding cell. You had a whole lifetime's worth of tough breaks by the time you were 18...not to mention a complete asshole of an old man.”

Eddie smiled faintly at the memory. “You helped me out. I don't think you know how much. I still owe you for that.”

“No, you don't,” Hop said, with a soft shake of his head, “this town owes you. You were a hero and it never even knew. All it's ever done is take from you and beat you down. You and I know the truth of everything..all this unbelievable weird shit that's gone on in this godforsaken place...it's a lot to live with. I hope you and that nice girl leave Hawkins in the dust some day soon. You deserve better...a place where you can breathe easy.”

Eddie turned, blinking in disbelief and said, slowly, meaning it from the depth of his soul, “Thank you, Hop.” Old Jim was usually a man of few words, so this heartfelt monologue came as a real shock.

Hopper cleared his throat. “What um...What's the prognosis?”

It took Eddie a long time to respond. “They...uh...they have no idea. None of it is anything they've seen before. The upside-down does weird things to....they..they don't know.”

He trailed off, and Hop figured it was time to change the subject.

“Have you slept at all? It's been three days....eaten?”

“Um. I think? Here and there,” Eddie answered in a daze, aware of his own body for the first time in half a week. He tested the waters of this awareness by stretching his back gingerly, which gave up a loud crack of complaint in response. He looked down at his arms and saw his own collection of bruises and cuts. They looked painful, but he hardly felt them. All he could think about was her, and how he was determined to be by her side when her eyes opened, even if he had to sleep in that chair another week, another month...another year...the rest of his life.

They both looked up, as they heard the click of approaching dress shoes. Eddie groaned and tapped his head back against the wall, whining, “Oh Jesus, what the fuck now?”

Two men and one lady in severe black suits made their way into Leia's room. Eddie scowled, and quipped “Sure, come right in. Make yourselves at home.”

Hopper was relieved to see El (his adopted daughter) trailing closely behind them. Maybe she could explain all this. He had an idea of where they were from and it made him uneasy, but El had dealt with these government types so many times (was raised by them, even, before she ran away). She would know who and how much to trust.

Eddie squinted for a moment, digging into his foggy recollection of those early days after his extraction from the upside-down. “You...I know you.”

The lady smiled, but not warmly. “Yes, Mr. Munson. We were the ones who helped get you well again. We've been studying this other dimension since it's discovery...”

“You mean, since your people tortured and tested children in a laboratory to bust into it and make it everyone's problem.”

The man next to her huffed, but she responded coolly with an amused grin. “Yes. I suppose you could frame it that way. However, medical techniques from our research are what saved your life and they're going to be what saves hers. But, of course there are conditions.”

Eddies brows shot up. “Conditions? You're willing to withhold life-saving medical attention, which she needs because of your project gone haywire in the first place, if we don't agree to your 'conditions'?” He scoffed, “What is wrong with you people?”

“Hear us out, Mr. Munson. If you don't, she will never wake up again,” she stated bluntly.

All he could do was gulp. They knew exactly where they had him, pressing a blade right through the most devastatingly vulnerable rend in his armor...his love for her.

“Alright...I'm listening.”

@sweetsigyn @veemoon @elegantkoalapaper @little-wormwood

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x ofc

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incorrect-house-of-nine · 6 months ago

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So, folks are still asking me about this.... I think some people believe that colonialism, religious control etc can only be narratively presented in one way, entirely forgetting that Tamsyn is writing from the pov of two protagonists deeply entrenched within those political systems and a third who has no concept of such things on account of being the soul of the world. Its like.. if i asked you to pretend to be a chicken, n then i said, a nuclear explosion is about to happen, act out what the chicken would do. If you ran around flapping n squawking in a panic id ask you why... n if you said ''well, there's a nuke'' id ask you what does a chicken know of a nuke and impending nuclear holocaust. Nothing! So, they'd continue their life as an oblivious chicken. but if i was to say.... continue being a chicken, but this time, there's a fox approaching... what would the chicken do? then the chicken would flap n squawk in a panic, cause chickens know a chicken killing predator when they see one. its in their bones.

Gideon n Harrow in gtn: In the first book, Gideon, and to some extent Harrow are the chicken. They have do not have a complete grasp of what's honestly going on beyond the Dominicus System cause they are within the Empire's system and its propaganda machine. Its only when they get outside of that, once the veil is removed does Harrow realise she's surrounded by monsters, and Gideon sees the true horrors of the Imperialist expansion. Harrow spends the 2nd n 3rd book having her view and understanding of what she knows turned on its head, and we never truly see Gideon's journey but there are hints that the life she's experienced in the in between is not what she read in her comic books. In these books, colonialism/imperialism is everywhere. Its in the Cohorts uniforms (they are literally wearing knock of British Red Coats), its in the refugee worlds, its in BOE's resistance. Classism and servitude is written into the very fabric of the cavalier's oath. There's titles of knight, and prince, and princesses. There's resource management, and wealth being stolen from other planets. There's mass displacement of populations. There's subjugation, and consumption on every page. Nona, Cam, Pal and Pyrrha are living on a refugee planet.

Nona/Alecto, by virtue of being the soul of earth, living on another planet, is also a refugee. She was forcibly removed from her home, forced to take the soup, given an new ''better'' name, forced to 'tame' herself, forced to dress and act a certain way, forced to speak and communicate in the language of the one who forcibly removed her. Told her ''wild'' ways were unacceptable etc etc. Does this sound familiar? cause it should! It should be recognisable to any one person of first nation descent, or any student of history.

It is the history of the Māori, the Australian, Canadian and American first nations. It is the history of the Irish*. Its the history of any peoples who have been colonised! * Ireland is Britain's oldest colony, 1000 years, and is seen by some people to be considered as still colonised to this day. ie Northern Ireland.

I do not know how one can read these books and come away with the idea that these books are not ''overly political'. Everything is politics! Even paper -- something we take for granted -- is a rare resource in this universe and expensive, is therefore political. Even if we look at the first book, Harrow states that there are intra-house politics at play, its just our protagonist either hasn't been paying attention, or doesn't care. Gideon, and therefore we, are given a glimpse of this via a whole barney between Judith, Babs etc about which house has seniority. (albeit because they are adults who just lost their adultier adults with the death of Abigail and Magnus,) The bones of the argument in of itself is political.

I've gotten a bunch of anon asks about the recent kerfuffle and vague posting that seems to be going around about "The Locked Tomb not being political." etc etc. Rather than reply individually, all I'll say to that whole ass thing is .... Are we reading the same series?

#tlt #the locked tomb #the locked tomb asks #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #is the locked tomb political? jesus tap dancing tiddy christ

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ardeawritten · 3 years ago

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Street-level Metrocop worldbuilding-

A big part of Stray Physicists' interim story is how Calhoun ends up in the CP uniform. I'm still nailing down details but have gone through a bunch of different ideas. :P

Worldbuilding, for the sake of ~fun drama~

-Gen 1 metrocops are 90% military who were ordered to surrender, marched in one end of the Combine machine and came out the other end in a new uniform with new orders to Keep The Peace in a 'keep calm and carry on' kind of way. Thought they were doing humanity a favor by being the buffer and shield between them and the aliens.

-They got immediately hated as the accessible human face of the Combine machine. Became acceptable targets, because civilians didn't get into anywhere near as much trouble for beating up CPs as they did for attacking Combine infrastructure and transports.

-Full face masks were adopted fairly early by Gen 2 metrocops. On the human side, it helped provide a shield and a level of anonymity that let the CPs work more effectively. On the Combine side, it started breaking down the homogeneity of human identity- CPs were even further Other'd by civilians.

-Gen 3 CPs were more heavily armored, armed with more painful sub-lethal weapons, and their helmets contained more sophisticated sensory control measures. Everything they saw, smelled and heard was mechanically filtered, further distancing them from civilians and lowering their tendency to empathize.

-A group of rebels successfully nabs a gen 3 task force, strips them and takes the uniforms and successfully infiltrates a training facility and bombs it to smithereens. Anonymity works both ways.

-In response, the Combine issues Gen 4 uniforms with two separate safeguards: a biometric integration unit that records and tracks its wearer's physiology and medical status, and an explosive device built into the belt clasps. Take it off without deactivation codes and it goes boom. Gen 4 CPs are privileged enforcers but also prisoners in their own armor, only able to safely disrobe within their own garrisons during scheduled "off-duty" hours after all the doors are locked.

-The Combine's goal of finding an 'optimal range' of human physiology and psychology to mash into their stalkers and troopers is now being applied upstream to the first stage of their recruitment; CPs are kept inside a physical and mental "ideal" range via drug-controlled metabolism and chemical 'mental stabilizers.'

-Gen 5 uniforms have digital visual displays, fully integrated biometric packages capable of delivering constant background medical assistance and stabilizers. Orders are given by a hybrid surveillance system and predictive algorithm trained to anticipate 'anti-citizen' outbursts. Successful defection, living or dead, from the CP program reaches .2%.

Since CPs a) don't go hungry b) get their wounds treated and pain medicated away and c) are kept chemically stabilized, despite being the street-level hated villain recruitment remains a very attractive option for starving, wounded, scared and desperate civilians.

#and that's why Barney never gets out of the uniform.#half life headcannons #half life 2 #half life metrocops #half life

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this-should-do · 2 years ago

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hmmmm, the post about guilt and metaphors for guilt made me have wonderful ideas about barney and how fucked up he gets after joing the cps

like i like to think that he didnt kill and civilians Himself for the first few months at most, but he did get the "privledge" of being a participant, and while he never got literal blood on his hands, hes obvs gonna end up with sum major guilt pile up, nothing too aggresive, but always lapping like waves at the back of his mind

then eventually he has to kill a civillian, maybe more than at once, wether it be disposing of one at the station or during a raid, and he starts cracking, when he gets home he fucking breaks, hes filthy and gross and sobbing, his uniform has blood on it but it feels like hes covered in it, flecks of build up from people he couldnt help, buckets from the people he killed that day.

he starts scrubbing

not his uniform, not the blood soaked into the fabric, but him, his body, the blood that only he can see and feel. he scrubs and rinses and scrubs and rinses and sceubs and rinses and scrubs and rinses and scrubs and rinses but it doesnt go away he cleanes until his whole body is red and raw

he almost forgets to clean his uniform

he never feels clean again

he goes back to his job the next and the day after that and the day after that and the day after that and the day-

hes stops scrubbing, why should he scrub? theres no blood but there is blood, theres so. much. blood. why should he get to be clean after what hes done? and after what he hasnt done? when its his job to kill and harm and torment, does it matter if hes there help the resistance? he could try, has tried to comfort himself with that sentiment in the past.

he doesnt anymore

his intentions dont help civilians he did nothing for when his coworkers harassed and hit and killed them, dont heal civilians hes hurt, dont bring civilians hes killed back to life. intentions dont matter to those who are hurt in consequence, nor do they matter to the dead.

its been a year since he joined the cps

five years since the resonance cascade

five years since he fought tooth and nail to get out of black mesa, to get rosenburg and the others out to save his own hide. five years since he killed both human and alien so the others who wouldnt, for the others who couldnt. five years since he rejoiced at finding dead coworkers so he could strip their corpses for supplies. five years since he was soaked in blood of friend and foe alike. five years since he watched soldiers drag his best friends body past the dank room he found himself in and he didnt even try to reach him.

maybe hes never been clean.

could he ever be clean?

did he even deserve to be clean?

no, he doesnt get to be clean. he cant be clean if he wants to do his job, either of his jobs. he cant be clean if he wants others to be clean, someone has to be infront of the mess, to shield the rest. why shouldnt it be him?

its been twenty years

barney stopped being clean a long time ago

#im realizing this kinda turned into a fic part way thru #honestly i dont mind #it kinda slaps if im being ho est even if ive never been much kf a writer #at least creatively anyways #ive always been better at academic writing i feel #i might consider refining this if yall want me to #iwillspeakincessantly #long post

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year2000electronics · 4 years ago

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It’s 4PM on a Tuesday. None of your favourite streamers have done a thing.

Still, you’re getting antsy. You hate the lack of background noise.

...What does the recommended page have to offer?

Let’s see. Someone vaguely in your favourite streamer’s circle of friends, someone way more popular than you’d like...

“ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WRECKING FALLOUT 3”

Well, that’s a hell of a title.

Curiosity’s officially been piqued.

You click onto the stream, and it opens up, leaving you to take in the surroundings.

And surroundings they certainly are.

“Well, chat, we appear to be stuck in the floor,” a mischievous-looking man with a blonde streak in his hair narrated to the camera.

The man seemed normal enough, but the game... Good god. The game.

You knew Bethesda games were notorious for breaking with excessive console commands, but this man had moulded it into a monstrosity the likes you had never seen before.

A donation noise popped up, and as was typical of a Twitch streamer, a purposely groddy TTS began to read it out.

“here you go bitchboy. some money for your jester crimes. also tell gordon hi and i love him”

The man furrowed his brow. “Gordon, come in frame for a bit. The viewers demand it.”

Someone who looked... a little TOO much like Gordon Freeman poked their head into the camera view, a pigeon resting on his lap.

“Hi,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, he’s here too. Same as he always is-“

The blonde-streaked man was interrupted by the open window SPEWING smoke, as an unidentified figure did loop-de-loops around the room, eventually hovering in place, with their...

Rocket boots??

What the fuck WAS this stream? Why were you invested in this now?

The Gordon lookalike waved to the boot man, who waved back, showing off his grocery haul proudly.

“Ah-HEM, I don’t know if you noticed, Darnold, but I’m streaming here,” The blonde-streaked man said crossly.

Another donation came in.

“cringe streamer. darnold should take over.”

“Fuck you guys.”

The stream continued with... not MUCH more interruptions, thank god for that, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a LOT of context clues you were missing. What was up with the rocket man’s getup? Why is this Gordon Freeman lookalike here? Why was chat so mean?

Your questions only grew, however, when another visitor came in.

“MALCOM! WHERE IS THE COPY OF LUIGI ILLIAD YOU WERE LENT.”

A... Well, you wouldn’t say it was a human. Humans don’t have massive tendrils.

A creature was slightly offscreen, until it propelled itself forward, revealing that it was a humanoid figure with... Medusoid hair.

The blonde-streaked man, apparently Malcom, jumped. “God- don’t scare me like that, asshole!”

“WHERE IS IT. RELINQUISH IT.”

“I can’t right now, man. I’m busy.”

“Hi, Gordon!” Gordon greeted.

Wait- they BOTH looked the same.

Were they both named Gordon? Why is this creature-Gordon in a Barney uniform? Why is he a creature? WHAT is Luigi Illiad?

Malcom got beaned in the face with some... random orange to black orbs.

“Orange to black means GIVE THE GAME BACK. Neo was SAD this morning and I didn’t have the proper VIDEO GAME SUSTENANCE.”

“Okay, SMART GUY,” Malcom hissed. “You wanna know why I’m busy? I’m streaming! Live! To hundreds of people!”

The Gordon-esque being looked at the camera, face turning red.

He knocked the camera over.

The screen cut to BRB.

You weren’t sure what to make of all of that, but your hand quietly clicked the follow button as another donation popped in.

“F.”

#hlvrv #whatever. not really proud of how this came out but enjoy

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svnarintaro · 4 years ago

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it’s too late to say sorry

update: part two is up and you can read it here

authors note: IM IN A IMAGINE WRITING SPREE SOMEONE STOP ME PLEASE also i like using different names for the same characters im sorry :/

synopsis: hitoshi shinsou is known to be a top tier player, you only saw his as a jerk that toyed with other people's feelings, he was on his way for changing for the better; but he blew it.

word count: 1.9k words

warnings: !quirkless au! angst!!

!f*ckboy! hitoshi shinsou x reader

him and his entire demeanour pissed you off, you were not someone that was hateful but man did this man get on your nerves. girls and guys were falling like flies case of his 'irresistible' aura, the thought made you scoff. he was just another one of those players that care for thing other than themselves and you were sick of this whole pedestal that people put them on, and him oh how you wanted to knock them down and make them taste the reality of their destruction.

you and your best friends kendo and monoma were discussing what material you missed when you were sick on the way to the cafeteria, kendo perked up as if she remembered important information "oh also about the seating plan in chem.." you groaned and tilted your head back in annoyance, "don't tell me i'm sitting to this trust fund kid," you sarcastically pointed your thumb at the boy to your right, "shut it my dear peasant, you are a charity case to me so be grateful-" and as he was finishing up his sentence he got smack to the back of his head. "kendo that hur-" "be grateful that we haven't left you sorry butt yet." she let out a huff and continued what she was about to say as the three of you got to the cafeteria she took a shaky breath, "you kinda next to shinsou.."

you choked on air, "no no no no, i don't want o be next to a barney headed jerk-" before your rant even started you were cut off by the person behind you. "so you wanna continue talking about me behind my back or do you wanna say it to my face sweetheart, take your pick," you knew that voice, all too well. "first of all save your disgusting nicknames for a person that actually likes you." you turned your heel to give him the dirtiest glare you could fathom to show hitoshi shinsou.

"aww don't be like that baby.. i already know you'll turn around~" his smirk did not fall for a second, it only grew by the minute. "look i'm not looking to have anything on my criminal record, so if you want to keep your limbs in one piece i suggest you take my advice and piss off with my parting gift." you brought your fist to your mouth and shoved your middle finger in our mouth, and you proceeded to pull it out and flip him off and caught up with kendo and monoma who were laughing. 'they really are something else hm?' shinsou thought.

"man does he really put you in a bad mood hm?" neito teased and handed you the sandwich you wanted, "yeah she really did flip him off this time and threaten him?! i think that is the nicest exchange they've had all year!" kendo wheezed out, as you payed for your food you looked back to see shinsou sitting with his friends.

"so let's get this straight, you single handed moly pissed someone off so often they called you barney head, say they might break your limbs AND flip you off?!" kaminari screeched, while todoroki was purely confused, "did shinsou lose his ability to flirt his way out of this situation or something? cause honestly i feel like you lost you mojo a little bit." sero snorted at todoroki, "did you really have to say 'mojo'?" shinsou was just trying to figure out how to woo you now, his ultimate revenge as to get you to like him and break your heart and pummel it to smithereens.

now you had your chemistry class, and you were lab partners with shinsou, the given thought of being within a 2 metre radius of him mad you dread the class. the moment you walked in the class you saw a girl on his lap, her uniform was two sizes too tight, playing with his hair and her skirt rode up to show her red undergarments. "daddy~ can't we just skip?" you gagged at that nickname, the two of them stopped what they were doing and looked at you. the girl looked you up and down and she was obviously annoyed at your presence. "oh don't mind me i'm just a poor witness to see your panties on full display," you shrugged and made your way to your seat, "at least i have someone interested me," the girl smugly said, you rolled your eyes, "at least my coochie isn't free real estate."

the girl let out a 'hmph' and stormed out out the class, "free real estate? that's a new one." you didn't bother looking at him, and you opened your notebook and brought your data booklet out not even sparing him a glance. meanwhile the guy in front of you asked for a pen and you immediately complied and gave him one. hitoshi has never felt more offended from getting ignored and blown off again.

later in the class the teacher gave a worksheet to work on and you got stuck on a certain question and you didn't know what to do, "you forgot to balance the reaction so that's why you got the wrong answer." you looked to see shinsou looking at you, elbow on his table, "for someone who doesn't bother with class you remember a few things." you proceeded to add numbers to the elements that were written. for the rest of the class he continued to help you with your worksheet and the two of you got along for once. 'huh he may not be as bad as i thought he was.'

for the rest of the month he acted like this and it showed you that he wasn't the monster you thought he was, he was kind, considerate, funny and sweet. he avoided other girls too, "to think that you changed shinsou is actually kind of crazy, you're way more tolerable this way," you whispered as the two of you sat together and worked on some chemistry notes together, on his end of the story he was freaking out, he never felt this way, h heart was pounding out of his chest. he wanted it to stop, he was afraid. afraid of you not liking him back, he was afraid of commitment, he was afraid that he wasn't good enough for you.

"listen kaminari it is a reasonable plan, get them to like me, have them fall in love with me and boom i break up with her." for the past hour kaminari has been listening to shinsou on the phone go on and on about how he wanted to mess around with you, "they're an interesting person, they've got guts." the blond giggled, "i mean if you wanna quit the plan and hand them over to me-" "don't think about it rat."

meanwhile he was thinking about how he was so calm around you, he felt the need to drop his act and be himself around you. "looks like someone is getting attached~"

really? did he get attached? no what would be too cliché for his own good. so he sought his time to be taken by girls, other girls where were desperate to be in his attention span, "hey kaminari give me the number of every one of your flings i need to let off some steam.." shinsou needed to get you off his mind.

on the other hand you were talking to kendo, "okay look i know that i said he was trash and whatever but he changed and.. i think i might like him." you were gushing over all the sweet things he did, all the sweet things he said, you saw all the signs that he returned your feelings. "i say go for it! shoot your shot when you can, just be careful and know that me and neito are here for you and will beat him up if he dares hurt you." kendo was really on edge with him, it was as if shinsou got possessed and she knew something wasn't right, but if he made you happy she couldn't stop you. "thank you kendo~"

it was as if a switch was flipped, the Hitoshi shinsou that you hated was back and had more playthings than ever, make out sessions in the halls, skipping classes to fool around with anyone and what hurt the most was that he was avoiding you like the plague. “he is going through a phase right now, i promise he is better than this you saw how he was weeks ago please guys you have to believe me.” you were crying in monomas room about your ruined week. you knew what was the truth and that was that you were played, you were a fool to think that he was changing for the better. “i knew he was a jerk, y/n you deserve better than this, you deserve someone that will really appreciate you, someone that won’t have to change and will be who they really are in front of you..” you looked up from lap and stared at monoma and kendo. ‘these are my people, they will never betray me.’ “i love you guys,” you declared as you threw your arms around their necks and cried your heart out. ‘hitoshi shinsou you will pay for doing me dirty like this.’

kendo forced you to stay home and rest, you were stressed and not in the head space to be at school right now. it was now lunch and kendo was livid, and was stomping down the corridor to give a piece of your mind to the jerk that broke your heart. “shinsou, i got a bone to pick with you.” she yelled at the purple haired boy, ‘finally i can see how y/n is doing’ he completely misread her words and saw them as an invitation to act buddy buddy with her so he jogged over. however he was not expecting a fist to the face, “you undeniable monster! do you know what you did to her?! you gave her false hope and you have the audacity to think that you can get anything about how she is right now?” her words truly leaked poison and showed she was not playing around, he had hurt you, and he needed to repent. “you think your pathetic superiority complex is something to sneeze at and turn a blind eye to? you think that just because you can play with peoples emotions you’re better than everyone else? well here’s what i think.” groups of people were surrounding everyone and were listening to kendo’s rant, shinsou’s heart dropped, he knew what this meant, he had hurt you. with each sentence the gap between the two got smaller until she got into his face and continued.

“it is disgusting how you can switch your act to lower other people’s guard and once they do so they are underneath your discrepancy and you crush them with no mercy,” flashes of you trying to talk to the guy you liked were flashing into keno’s head, she watched as he broke you down until you were pieces and now she was there for you as you were hopelessly trying to pick them up. a breath broke her flow of thoughts and brought her a second of peace. “stay away from my best friend.” and thats when the world stopped for shinsou, he did all of this to protect himself, he was scared cause there was a chance you could’ve liked him back but he ignored that and hurt you instead. “i’m sorry..” was all that he could say at this point. he couldn’t express anything right now, he was malfunctioning. “it’s too late to say sorry.”

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thebibliomancer · 4 years ago

Text

Essential Avengers: Avengers #230: THE LAST FAREWELL!

April, 1983

“Yellowjacket no more!”

Aw, dang! Hank got raptured!

Captain America, Thor, and Hawkeye is a weird collection of characters to be staring forlornly at the empty Yellowjacket uniform.

Thor hasn’t really expressed much about the Yellowjacket situation in comparison. You think they could squeeze Wasp into the shot. Just her ex-husband is all. She’s just the team leader is all.

Put Wasp on the cover, you cowards.

So last times on Avengers: Hank Pym got himself kicked out of the Avengers and out of his marriage and pretty much deserved it. He was tricked into committing treason by his arch-nemesis Egghead and sent to jail. He sat in jail for, like, a really long time. The wheels really spun on the arc.

He was kicked out of the Avengers/walked before he could be kicked out in #213. He was arrested at the end of issue #217. His trial was in issue #228.

He was kidnapped from his trial by the Masters of Evil. Then in #229, he turned the tables on them all in quite a satisfying manner and slugged Egghead in the egg head.

Then Hawkeye manslaughtered him. He’s dead.

Hawkeye arrowed the science gun to stop Egghead from shooting Hank in the back and then the science gun backfired and microwaved that egg.

This makes Hank’s victory a little bittersweet for him.

Hank Pym: “I defeated the Masters of Evil single-handed... but more than anything, I wanted to bring Egghead to justice. He was a thorn in my side for so many years. I was never able to defeat him for long, not when I was Ant-Man... and not even after I became Giant-Man! He bedeviled me in every identity I assumed. He did me the greatest wrong when I was Yellowjacket. I’d already ruined my Avengers career, when he tricked me into committing a federal crime!”

Hawkeye too is set to thinking by what happened. Maybe humming a bit of Bohemian Rhapsody to himself too.

Hawkeye: “This is unreal! I’ve never killed a man before! I never planned on anything like this happening! Yeah, but I can’t feel sorry for Egghead! If anyone deserved this, he did! My brother Barney bought the farm, stopping Egghead from killing the Avengers. And if I hadn’t acted when I did, Hank Pym would be dead! If I had to do it again... I would!”

Hawkeye: ‘Eh, fuck ‘em!’

hah.

But Hank laments that with Egghead dead, so goes his chance of proving his innocence by turning him over to the law.

Hank Pym: “Egghead was always getting away from me, Hawkeye. It’s almost as if he’s pulled the ultimate escape!”

Fun fact: There doesn’t seem to be an Ultimate Egghead! Why would there need to be? Even more than in the 616, Ultimate Hank Pym is by far his own worst enemy.

Hawkeye basically tells Hank to buck up and that there’s basically incriminating evidence lying all over the place.

He doesn’t say it but even Egghead’s dead deceased corpse is kind of like evidence. Evidence that he wasn’t dead until recently.

Captain Marvel shows up because someone finally came looking for Hawkeye.

Hank is surprised, much like others have been that this is Captain Marvel. He knew the old guy, the super saiyan. And I guess he didn’t hear there was a new one.

Hawkeye: “We’ve had a few changes since you went in the slammer, Hank. C.M. is an Avenger in training.”

Huh. Captain Marvel doesn’t even react to the dead body. Then again, there’s a lot of bodies lying all around the place.

And while Hawkeye is introducing the new Captain Marvel to Hank, one of those bodies stirs.

Moonstone has regained consciousness and assesses the situation. She could blast Hank, Captain Marvel, and Hawkeye with her coherent light pew pew but that’d just weaken her.

Like in the previous issue, Moonstone is one of the few supervillains who knows when to fold ‘em.

So she decides to skeedaddle while the getting is good but whoops.

Getting wasn’t good.

The rest of the Avengers have shown up and cornered her while she was pondering.

So Moonstone decides ‘eh fuck it’ and promises to spill all the beans if it gets her a lighter sentence.

So days later, the mostly off-screen trial of Hank Pym finally ends.

A loooot of new evidence suddenly popping up led the prosecution to withdraw all charges.

The lead prosecution witness, Trish Starr, suddenly reversing her testimony after putting on Tony Stark’s magical mental-scan helmet kind of tanked the case, really.

Wait, they really did just admit the use of the helmet in the trial when its new, unsubstantiated technology whose inventor disappeared?

Damn, I knew the Marvel legal system was wild (considering comic books as legal documents as explored in Dan Slott’s run on the character) but still!

Although it makes sense. Egghead got Trish to incriminate Hank by using the bionic arm to alter her memories. The helmet Tony invented undoes that kind of alteration. This connects the dots quite reasonably. Glad Stern was paying attention when preparing to finish this arc.

Moonstone and Beetle confirming that Egghead was using Hank as a tool also helps.

In fact, not only did the prosecution drop all their charges, the judge also dismissed all the charges. Which feels redundant? I dunno much about law, really. Just the She-Hulk version of law. Which, again, uses comic books as legal documents.

Apparently happening at around the same time, Hawkeye also had his day in court.

Literally a day.

It wasn’t a trial, just a hearing to investigate whether he was guilty of wrong-doing in the death of Egghead.

Newsman with a newsplan: “Though he was threatened with contempt-of-court charges a number of times -- Hawkeye was found innocent of any wrong-doing in the death of Dr. Elihas Starr -- the self-styled Egghead.”

Yeah, I bet Hawkeye was threatened with contempt-of-court a bunch. And I bet you anything that at least one of the times he rejoined with “No, you’re out of order! This whole damn courtroom is out of order!”

And then the judge probably just sighed.

I mean, look at that unbelievable Hawkeye in the bottom left panel.

Anyway, I think Stern must have felt a little pent up having to start his Avengers run finishing off someone else’s story, especially having to devote a recap issue to it since the plot had been interspersed with fill-ins.

Because in the middle of concluding this arc, he throws in two plot beats that I have to assume are to set up stuff of his own.

A day after the trial, the Beetle is being escorted to a cell in a Western Pennsylvanian federal maximum security prison when he bumps into another prisoner.

What neither the Beetle or the guard notices is that the bump to “Sam Smithers” has peeled off some skin on his arm and revealed THAT HE IS ACTUALLY MADE OF WOOD!

Suspect possibly a living puppet.

And elsewhere but samewhen, IN SPACE, specifically on Saturn’s moon Titan, Thanos’ brother Eros is basically complaining about being bored.

When Captain Mar-vell died of having a lot of cancer, he asked Eros to look after Mar-vell’s... uh... -google- robot girlfriend?? Elysius.

Eventual mom to Genis and Phyla-Vells.

Soooooo, Eros has done as Mar-vell’s deathbed wish was and spent an agonizing several consecutive months hanging out in Titan’s beautiful inside forests and just having a real hard time caring about one thing for such a long period of time.

I’m not even being unfair to him.

Eros: “This is the first time in ages that I’ve spent so many consecutive months on Titan! I have ever been a wanderer! I’ve sought out adventure across the wide cosmos. Frankly, I have known romance on more worlds than most sentient beings could imagine. That’s part of the problem. Our friendship has been wonderful, but I’m having a hard time adjusting to it. My previous relationships have all been of a fleeting nature.”

‘Look its not you, its me’ except for attempting to dump someone as a friend, instead of romantically.

Not dump, even. He just kind of wants to ditch her and is asking in a roundabout way if she’s emotionally stable enough to ditch.

She goes, yeah sure, go off and have fun. And maybe she’s getting tired of his company too.

Elysius: “Look... you’ve been a great comfort to me these last few months, but now I need to be alone for a while with my thoughts.”

Geez, how clingy has he been this whole time while desperately wanting to be anywhere else?

Anyway, since she’s fine with him fucking off, he does fuck off. Right to the Hall of Science.

Where Eros’ dad is like ‘oh ffs’ when Eros tells him that he needs to use the LIVING COMPUTER Isaac to look up planets with the highest adventure potential.

Mentor of Titan is a man deeply disappointed in both of his sons for very different reasons.

Anyway, would you really be surprised if I told you that Earth was in the Top 3 planets in known space for adventure?

You wouldn’t, right?

Meanwhile, back at the plot, Hank Pym is on a boat with Trish Starr.

She wants to apologize for that time she incriminated him but Hank isn’t going to blame her for being as much a pawn in Egghead’s scheme as he was.

Trish: “Yes, uncle was like that all of his life. I think he really enjoyed using people.”

And she remembers the first time they met in Marvel Feature #5, where Egghead tried to drain her mind to power his machines. Because. Batteries hadn’t been invented? Because he’s just not happy unless he’s screwing over someone else?

Second one sounds likeliest.

She also remembers the time he car bombed her car but siphoned out most of the gas first.

Trish: “He didn’t want to kill me... only maim me. Nice guy, my uncle.”

Yeah. Its stories like that why its only Trish and Hank also Fred Sloan on a boat at Egghead’s funeral. Yeah, by the way, this is basically Egghead’s funeral.

Fred is only here for Trish.

Hank reacts to Fred so I wondered if he’s important in some way or if Hank recognized him but I checked the wiki and his main importance seems to be... this issue? So I don’t know why Hank reacts to the guy.

So Fred is just here for Trish. Trish is here out of duty, since she was Egghead’s only known family. And Hank is also only here out of duty but more archnemesis ‘can’t believe that asshole is dead and I don’t even get to feel good about it’ duty. I assume.

Hank even gets the honor (?) of laying Egghead to rest. By dumping his ashes into New York harbor.

Mostly because it doesn’t seem like Trish wants to?

So Hank quotes some Mark Twain and dumps the ashes.

Hank Pym: “‘Death... the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all -- the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.’ Farewell, Egghead.”

Trish: “It’s awful to say this -- but I can’t find it in myself to be sorry. I think I’m glad he’s dead.”

And that’s Egghead’s legacy. Mourned by no one. And his death is only not cheered because the only people that cared feel shitty about feeling glad he’s dead.

ANYWAY, there’s some other loose ends to tie up.

So Hank takes a taxi to the Avengers Mansion and I guess finally explicitly explains why the mansion has seemed to change positions over time?

Hank Pym: “I never thought I’d be coming here again. The place has certainly changed since the day Jan and I met here with Iron Man, Thor, and the Hulk to draft the Avengers charter and by-laws. And I still recall the time Iron Man and Thor moved the mansion back from the street to give us more privacy. What a project that was!”

Sounds like a heck of a noodle incident, Hank.

... Why just Thor and Iron Man? Did they... did they literally just shove the mansion back from the street? ... There’s... basements and caves under there. How does that work? That seems like a massive architectural project.

Hank, pls, I need to know more details. You can’t just drop that information and casually stroll away. HANK!

Captain Marvel meets Hank at the door and escorts him inside, captain marveling at how calm Hank is despite everything he’s been through.

Hank shows up to the Avengers meeting and-

Oh god, She-Hulk looks like she wants to punch the suppressed emotions right out of Jan. She-Hulk, pls.

So, Wasp is super formal, calling Hank Dr. Pym and telling him that they want to use the mento-scan helmet to see if he was under outside influence when he did all the very bad things he did.

All of the Avengers are harboring their own concerns.

She-Hulk: “I’ve read legal briefs that were more informal! She’s cool on the surface, but inside -- ! Jannie, why are you doing this to yourself?!”

Are you guys already at the cute nickname stage of your friendship or is that just the way She-Hulk be?

Cap is worried that this is rough on Jan but that she’s doing what she needs to do as the Avengers chairwoman. But he’s more worried about the absence of Iron Man who is still missing and who ignored three calls to assemble.

Thor is just internally like ‘just do the helmet, my dude.’

Hawkeye is literally biting his lip at the tension.

Hawkeye: “Jan divorced Hank after his last breakdown. If we find out that he wasn’t to blame, what’s it gonna do to the both of ‘em? I hate this! That stupid court hearing was a breeze in comparison.”

Huh, Hawkeye has a point. Even if outside influence is proven, its not as straightforward as Jan and Hank instantly getting back together, no harm no foul. There was harm. And the problems with their relationship were deeper than one incident. But it would also create this possible expectation that they should get back together because the specific incident wasn’t Hank’s fault.

And Captain Marvel is still looking at this from an outsiders’ perspective.

Captain Marvel: “They’re really hurting over this... all of them! They all care so very, very much. If I ever become a fully active Avenger, I pray that I can live up to their example.”

So Hank very calmly agrees to use the helmet. But...

Hank Pym: “Sorry... no outside influences. It would have changed a lot of things if there had been, wouldn’t it? But no, I made my own mistakes... and I have to live with them.”

Thiiiiis was the best decision for the story arc. It may seem, in retrospect, the worst decision in the long run, but I can respect the story for standing by what it has done and standing by the growth Hank has had as a result of everything that happened.

I think a lot of more modern marvel comics have gone a little wild with letting the heroes do all kinds of dubious things and also die because it can be easily undone. It was a Skrull, they were being mind-controlled, it was an AU Nazi version of them created by a cosmic cube child. Or by giving the hero some big redemptive moment like Iron Man wiping his mind to make up for doing Civil War. Or Iron Man dying to make up for Civil War 2. You can explore whatever scenarios you want without worrying about dealing with the consequences long-term.

But in this era of Marvel, they were concerned with the long-term. Not to say that there weren’t cop-outs back in this day too. But since books were expected to keep going indefinitely instead of being cancelled and relaunched, there’s less of a sense of ‘this thing is only here to play with for a little while.’ If you wrote a thing, another writer was expected to follow up on it.

And I miss that a little.

So not giving a cop-out bullshit thing that undoes Hank’s actions was bad in the long run for his image as a character. But that’s a long way from now problem, exacerbated by writers like Chuck Austin and Mark Millar who wanted to wallow in it.

For an arc where Hank fell from grace and proved himself again, taking ownership of what a garbage fire his life can be was necessary.

One among many reasons I probably won’t like the Crossing when I get to it, haha.

With Hank’s actions proven as being Hank’s actions, Hank says there’s one more loose end that he wants to help tie off.

He wants to participate as witness when the Avengers hold a court of inquiry for Hawkeye killing Egghead.

This comes as an absolute surprise to Hawkeye, who I guess never read the bylaws. Which honestly, is very in-character for him.

But it being brought up, he insists that all he has to do is enter the findings of the state judge and be done with it.

Hank insists he participate though.

Hank Pym: “Hawkeye is faced with charges because he acted in my defense. It’s only right that I act in his.”

So, the Avengers go to the first floor library, which is apparently the court of inquiry room. I feel like we’re suddenly getting a lot of details about the layout of the Avengers Mansion in recent issues.

So Wasp convenes the court all formal style, so formal style that Hawkeye thinks that stickler Cap(tain America) couldn’t have done a better job. The purpose of the court of inquiry is to determine the validity of the charge of “unreasonable use of deadly force” and determine what if any proper disciplinary action should be taken.

I think Hawkeye is annoyed at having to go through with this (read the bylaws, my dude) because when Wasp asks if he has anything to add to his claim of innocence of the charge, he says he already gave the court copies of the court transcript that cleared him of the same charge, but also decides to speechify a little, because he wasn’t accused of contempt of court enough today.

Hawkeye: “I have already given the chair copies of the transcript of a hearing of the state courts... a hearing which found me not guilty of the same charge. And I have something else to say as well!”

“I don’t deny that my actions caused the death of Egghead. But in no way did I use undue force! I found Hank Pym in mortal danger, and I used the necessary means to save him... period. After all, we are supposed to be the Avengers, right?”

Luckily for Hawkeye, the Avengers are more willing to put up with him than a state court so Jan just goes ‘ok, noted.’

Captain Marvel also has a minor change of heart on Hawkeye. I don’t think we’ve gotten her in-depth feelings on him before (although he did get pissy about her joining the team, we didn’t see her response to that) but she’s impressed because she thought he had more wind than conviction but is seeing that isn’t so. And she’s also impressed by Serious Mode Jan who she thought was kind of flighty.

Captain Monica Marvel seeing all kinds of new sides of the Avengers lately.

Also, this isn’t important and you won’t be able to see what I mean unless I included more caps than I wanted to, but in the panel establishing the court of inquiry, Monica is just standing off to the side. But in the next panel she appears in, she’s moved over to sit on a couch instead.

I think its a framing thing but its still kind of funny to imagine her going ‘wait why am I standing up’ and heading for the comfy couch.

With Hawkeye’s statement given, Wasp invites Hank Pym to speak his piece.

And Hank gets up and gives an entirely unnecessary but probably appreciated defense of Hawkeye.

Hank Pym: “Ladies and gentlemen... I have not always been on the friendliest of terms with Hawkeye. Point of fact, we nearly came to blows a number of times... back in the days when I was an Avenger. But in all the time I’ve known him, Hawkeye has never used undue force.”

“I realize that this inquiry is little more than a formality. I have no doubt that you will find in his behalf. He did, as he said, act only in my defense. Unlike my own recent case before you, there is not the slightest hint of misconduct or negligence. The only thing Hawkeye is guilty of is being a good Avenger.”

“When I last spoke before this body, at my court-martial, I was not in a rational state of mind. I was unfit to be an Avenger. You wisely expelled me. I never expected to speak before you again. And now, I can think of no finer final statement than this... It has been my sincere honor to have known Hawkeye’s fellowship... as it has to have known yours.”

Okay. So. Half a defense of Hawkeye. And half... just a general good-bye and a demonstration that he actually does know how to deliver a defense at a court-martial. Cool.

I imagine if he had a mic, he would have dropped it.

Probably not, actually. Hank isn’t that exact blend of cool and inconsiderate for a mic drop.

Jarvis intercepts Hank on his way out and asks that he come with him to the second floor study. Jarvis has taken the liberty of gathering up the personal items Hank just kind of left in the mansion and packing them for him.

One suitcase has a bunch of Hank’s clothes that he had stashed in the mansion over the years. Including some wacky ties for wacky tie Fridays and a shirt that Hank had just plumb lost.

The other suitcase is a spare Yellowjacket outfit. In case Hank ever needs it.

Then Hank and Jarvis shake hands, Hank thanking Jarvis for everything that he’s done for him and the Avengers. He asks Jarvis to take care of himself because he knows he doesn’t have to ask him to take care of the Avengers.

This is a very touching scene. Its so touching that Jarvis excuses himself to go get misty eyed.

This is a Jarvis appreciation blog because I appreciate Jarvis as well.

Then, as Hank heads back down the staircase, he is intercepted by Thor, Captain America, and Hawkeye.

Yeah, the court of inquiry resolved off-screen because of how forgone a conclusion it was.

The three Avengers basically fall all over themselves to pat Hank on the back. Hank actually looks somewhat panicked by the positive affirmation.

That’s some mixture of funny and sad that I can’t identify.

Hawkeye tells Hank how much he appreciated his unnecessary defense. Thor clasps Hank’s shoulder and tells him he’s a class act, but in Thor-y words. And Cap extends an offer for whatever the Avengers can do to help Hank get back on his feet.

Hank thanks him for the offer but he’s already received an offer from a small research foundation in the Midwest.

Seems like getting exonerated of a treason charge is the best resume of all. That and Hank’s actual impressive resume.

But Cap has some stuff to work out re: Hank because he starts off on the stuff he put on the back burner back in that Ghost Rider issue.

Cap(tain America): “Hank... I know Iron Man would agree, if he were here, that we’re all sorry about the way things worked out. We should have realized the pressures you’d been under, prior to your breakdown. I was group leader at the time! I should have -- !”

Hank Pym: “Hold it right there, Cap! What I did, I did to myself! If I could have admitted that my problems existed... If I’d been willing to open up to you folks... Well, ‘if’ can be a big word sometimes. The fact of the matter is, I screwed up. And you did the only thing you could do! I don’t blame any of you.”

Hank has boarded the personal responsibility train and goddammit he’s riding it to the end of the line!

Good for him. Good clarity for the arc to have in its last issue.

But having started to slightly shout at the Avengers that he’s taking responsibility dammit! (he looks a bit pissed when he’s responding to Cap) Hank awkwardly excuses himself.

Cap tries to stop Hank from leaving because he has reached the bargaining stage of grief, I guess.

Cap: “Hank, wait! It doesn’t have to end like this! We could make a special amendment to the by-laws! We could reinstate you as an Avenger! You could be a special reservist -- !”

Hank: “Thanks, Cap. But no thanks. Trying to play super hero was the biggest mistake I ever made with my life! I was only fooling myself in ever thinking otherwise. But if you ever really think you might need a Yellowjacket again some day...”

He hands Cap the Yellowjacket suitcase.

Hank: “... Here! All you need is a good man and what’s in this case!”

I would hope, anyway. It’s going to be awkward if he opens it up later and its full of wacky ties.

The funny thing, although not really funny ha ha, is that Yellowjacket is the one codename of Hank’s that never really catches on outside of him.

You have multiple Ant-Men, a couple Goliaths, at least one other Giant-Man. There was a second Yellowjacket, eventually. But she didn’t make a big splash.

Despite Hank’s attempt here to pass the torch, Yellowjacket is a codename that remains inextricably tied to him. Which might be the problem. If there were another, more successful or at least more endearing Yellowjacket, Hank’s infamy in the role would not stand out so much.

Alas.

She-Hulk and Captain Marvel try next to intercept Hank. They don’t know him very well but they wanted to say their goodbyes too, despite not really knowing him that well.

Its the thought that definitely counts, probably.

But Hawkeye has some social awareness for a change and draws their attention to Wasp who is hanging back, but who clearly wants to talk to Hank.

So the rest of the Avengers quickly vacate to let Hank and Jan finally have closure. Or re-closure. “I want a divorce and to never see you again” is a kind of closure.

The situation has changed, however.

They both try to apologize to each other and then laugh at the awkwardness.

Hank: “Janet van Dyne, you are one in a million! After all that I put you through, you want to tell me that you’re sorry?”

Wasp: “I think we both made some mistakes along the way, but there were some good times... weren’t there?”

Hank: “Yes. But you can’t base a marriage on just a few good times. I fell for the young lady who reminded me of my first wife... and you thought you’d found the strong, silent hero. But I was never that strong, Jan. You know that now.”

Wasp: “Uh-huh.”

Damn, his prison time really did bring Hank a lot of clarity. That or the pile of therapists Tony kept throwing at him.

Hank also kind of talks over Jan here. Or at least steers the conversation. I don’t know what Jan would have said because Hank tells her that they both have other lives to lead and tells her to take care of herself.

Maybe its for the best, if, like Cap, she was going to try to shoulder all the blame for Hank’s bad decisions.

Hank walks out the door and finds Trish and Fred from the boat waiting to give him a ride to the airport. And then he is gone.

Like in the final image of the COURT-MARTIAL issue, Jan watches at the window.

“The last time Henry Pym left these walls, Janet felt like crying... but couldn’t find any tears. Today, at last, she has found the tears... for her former husband... for her team... for herself. Today, there is pain and remorse and release. There will be time enough for joy and hope tomorrow.”

Emotional catharsis can be like that.

In that the book kept going ‘Jan is really holding her emotions in and that’s probably not overall great for her’ its good that she can let it out now.

Kind of laughing at Captain Marvel and She-Hulk who only recently just met Jan being the ones going there there while the men she has known for years are just awkwardly standing in the background.

And that’s the fall and rise of Hank Pym. Apparently collected in trade as The Trial of Yellowjacket, which is a decent enough name too.

Overall, a good arc. That is kind of hampered by the need for filler and a writer change near the end. But honestly, Stern catches the ball and runs with it. He concludes the arc just as good as Shooter would’ve.

This arc is all kinds of iconic for Hank, although, unfortunately, most people are only aware of the beginning and maybe have a hazy understanding of what the ending does.

Although. This is a really good send-off for Hank. A really, really good send-off that would have worked best if he did like he said and quit superheroing forever.

That’s not to be, obviously, not in a perpetual narrative machine like Marvel. But it feels like it could have been and maybe should have been the last word on his character.

I enjoy Hank in Busiek’s Avengers and in Avengers Academy. And also, conceptually, Hank telling Reed “it’s on, bitch.” I very don’t enjoy Ultimate Hank Pym. So its a balancing act. The perfect exit for the character vs but I like some stuff when they brought him back.

Anyway.

After this, Stern gets to move on to his own material. Which he already planted the seeds for in this issue.

That’s a pun.

Follow @essential-avengers because of my bad puns. Also like and reblog, if you like to reblog.

#Avengers #Egghead #Masters of Evil #Hank Pym #Hawkeye #the Wasp #Captain America #Thor #She Hulk #Captain Marvel #Monica Rambeau #i did a lot of quoting because the comic has some good quotables here #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging

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spidercakes · 5 years ago

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Here, have a fun little ABO AU of some kind.

Its not like Tony wants to be here, this is more of a he has no choice type thing otherwise he’d like... not. First of all the idea of sending omegas off to omega academies to... fuck, Tony doesn’t even know what they do, only to marry them all off at sixteen is nuts and also creepy. Not that he’s unwilling to give the average sixteen year old credit, but he doesn’t think its a great idea to marry people off at an age where they can’t even vote. Plus you know, they’re still technically children.

So he’s not super into the whole child marriage thing for one, and also he doesn’t want what media depictions and the occasional actual omega has shown to him his whole life. He doesn’t like demure people, they’re boring and he knows he’s got a bit of a powerful personality. He doesn’t want to marry someone who’s going to get bowled over by that. Shit, he wouldn’t get married at all but his fuckface father decided to fuck him over from beyond the grave by writing in some stupid ass provision that he has to be married at twenty one or he doesn’t get the god damn company. He’d marry Rhodey but he said no, and the look on Pepper’s face wasn’t encouraging so here he is.

He scans the room, trying to locate the oldest omega in here when he knows they’re all the same fucking age and Christ, this is not where he saw his life going. But he needs to marry someone in the next god damn week because he decided it was a good idea to hold off even though Rhodey told him that was stupid but no. Can’t tell him nothing.

Eventually his gaze lands on an omega across the room that looks bored and his uniform is disheveled much to the obvious irritation of the nearest beta, who clearly knows the kid and doesn’t like him. Awesome, an asshole. Tony can make do with that so he goes over. “Do you like, remember those fucked up children’s songs we used to sing? Imagine being a teacher and walking in on twenty four eight year olds singing ‘joy to the world, the teacher’s dead.’ I think I’d shit,” he says because that’s the first thing that comes to mind. The omega he’s talking to considers him for half a second, clearly holding back a laugh before he breaks through. “Well come on, you know I’m right. Do you remember that one song about Barney where we fucking murked the guy? Like, what the fuck, right?”

The omega continues laughing, doubling over with it and Tony is getting weird looks from that displeased beta that Tony thinks might be this guy’s teacher or something. Whatever, laughs are better than out right rejections, he’s got six days to get this done. “What the hell?” the kid asks and Tony shrugs.

“I’m just saying, kid culture is fucked up. And violent.” Weirdly violent for children but hey whatever, most of them grow out of it so whatever.

“Uh huh,” the omega says, recovering a little and leaning against the wall he’s next to, arms crossed. “So why are you here?” he asks like that’s not obvious.

“My fuckstick joke of a father decided that he’d posthumously fuck up my life by preventing me from having ownership of his company if I wasn’t married by twenty one and I procrastinated,” Tony says honestly. That earns a raised eyebrow but whatever, Tony isn’t even looking for something that’ll last necessarily, he just needs the company. Nothing in the shit Howard drew up said anything about divorce so you know, loophole.

The omega looks him over, nose in the air a little. “I’m not really likable,” he says.

“Yeah, ‘likable’ in this particular scenario means complacent with your own subjugation so like, not a concern on my end because that’s a bit fucked,” he says.

“I’m a little old too,” he says like he doesn’t look young.

“How old is ‘old’ because either you have some serious baby face or you’re like, seventeen and that hardly counts as ‘old’ what the fuck kind of standards do people have for omegas?” he asks, frowning.

“We expire at the ripe age of twenty two according to most every asshole who walks in here. I’m eighteen,” he says and Tony breaths a sigh of relief.

“Thank god, you can vote! Christ, I was not looking forward to participating in child marriage because my dad’s a prick.”

“You could have just married someone else,” the omega points out.

“Yeah, I asked a friend and he said no and my other friend looked like she was about to pull out a cross and exorcize me so I let her be. Its not like I didn’t think of that.”

The omega looks him over like he’s trying to determine if Tony is good enough and that’s a weird situation to be in. Its happened to every omega in this room at least twice but its weird to be on the other end of it. “Yeah, alright,” the omega says and Tony blinks a few times, confused.

“You don’t even know my name. Which is Tony, by the way.”

“Peter,” he says and shrugs. “And I’ll be honest, I’m mostly in it for the sex and you’re hot,” he tells Tony.

Tony blinks again, even more confused but like, not in a bad way. “That... I can do that. And like, you’re an actual fucking child so it won’t be nasty, god, sixteen? Who wrote these laws?”

“Alphas, take it up with them since you probably know a bunch of them personally,” Peter says and right, good point.

“I’ll have you know my voting habits do not support this shit,” Tony tells him like he’s voted in more than one federal election.

Rhodey doesn’t look impressed and Pepper looks surprised and Tony’s offended, really. “What?” he asks.

“What, did you walk in and choose the biggest asshole in the room? He’s kind of an entitled prick,” Rhodey points out.

“Yeah, well if I got shoved into a school against my will to be trained to be a house servant I’d be pissed off too, I think he’s earned his entitlement. That how I acted when I got shipped off to boarding school and I didn’t even have to deal with all the other shit,” he points out.

“He’s... well, not exactly nice to you,” Pepper says.

“Oh he’s plenty nice where it counts,” Tony tells her and she wrinkles her nose.

“Gross, Tony.”

“You could have done better,” Rhodey tells him and Tony rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I could have married a child. This one came with the added benefit of no fucking child marriage. Seriously, and I stress this, what the fuck?”

“He’s got a point there,” Pepper murmurs.

“I’m sure there was more than one adult hanging around,” Rhodey tells him.

“Not really, all the demure cute ones get picked right away so its only the assholes left behind,” Peter says, walking up behind Tony and wrapping an arm around him. He smiles, wrapping an arm around Peter too because he actually likes him. Turns out he’s really smart too and he’s happy to get that added benefit as well.

“That’s nice,” Rhodey says, clearly still unimpressed.

“Platypus,” Tony says, “the poor thing has been subjected to ‘do what they say or you’re a failure’ training, leave him be. Being an asshole is the only correct response to that.”

“I should have just married you myself,” Rhodey mumbles. “And since when the hell have you given a shit about omegas rights?” he asks.

Tony rolls his eyes, “just because its not on my mind two hundred percent of the time doesn’t mean I’ve never considered it,” he says.

Peter doesn’t actually expect to like Tony but it turns out he’s actually really nice and he can’t say he dislikes the way Tony spoils him. He’s currently sitting out by the pool with a book and a pair of Tony’s sunglasses on enjoying the sun, because he barely got any of that in school- actual prisoners get more sun than they do- when Tony finds him.

He smiles, shifting in his seat so Tony can sit beside him. He does, wrapping his arm around Peter as he curls into his side. “I fired like, so many people today. People are pissed, the media shat when I announced I’m not manufacturing weapons anymore, stocks are dropping, but that’s fine, I’ll fix it. This might be the most gratifying thing I’ve ever done,” he says and Peter gives him a look. “Except you baby. That’s a given,” he adds and Peter smiles, snuggling in more to his side.

“Uh huh. When you’re done with all that can we go on vacation somewhere?” he asks. “I’m bored.”

Tony kisses the top of his head, “whatever you want,” he murmurs and Peter grins. And all his teachers told him he’d end up alone in a shack, look at him now.

#tony stark x peter parker #starker #alternate universe #fanfiction

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transxfiles · 4 years ago

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Lumberjanes Week Day One: Favorite Roanoke (Jo)

A Single Brown Feather, An Anagram, And A Search In The Dark In The Forest At Night

Jo is clever. She’s clever. She can figure a way out of this.

Something’s up with Molly. They’ve all noticed it, by now. She’s acting strange and speaking with an odd lilt to her voice and her eyes have gone just the slightest bit golden. Normally, they all would have attributed it to nerves; camp would be ending, soon. They all knew that. And they all knew that Molly was anxious about it most of all, even if none of them knew exactly why.

(Well. Mal knew exactly why. Jo knew that Mal knew because April heard from Ripley who heard Mal and Molly talking in hushed tones about it, and April wrote this all down in her great pink notebook and she handed it over to Jo for a read-over. Jo is a scientist, first and foremost, yes. But she took a class in crime scene analysis, and one in psychology, and one in forensics; in short, she makes a rather good detective.)

And today, during capture the flag, Molly disappeared. Mal disappeared, too, shortly after Molly did. They think she was going after her.

The rest of the Roanokes are in their cabin, now. Jen’s holding Ripley and holding back tears, the two of them sitting on a bunk together. Meanwhile, April and Jo have put together a bulletin board of clues, cross-referencing the notes they’ve been keeping, trying to figure out what’s going on.

The Zodiacs are here, too. April thought they’d be of help

“They lost their counselor to the woods at the beginning of the summer,” she’d explained. “I think they might know more than they’re letting on.”

Emily had offered up her notes to Jo; apparently the Roanokes hadn’t been the only ones keeping tabs on everything. Now, Hes and Wren are doing a sweep of the cabin, looking for clues. Cleaning out Molly’s bunk, and then Mal’s, shifting through duffle bags and peeking behind posters. Barney’s attempting to comfort Jen, though how well that’s working is questionable. Diane’s explaining everything she knows about forest magic to Jo - though apparently, she actually doesn’t know that much.

“It’s not like anything I’ve ever seen, to be honest,” Diane says, sounding defeated.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never seen a place where time works like this. Not even on Olympus, not even in Hades. As soon as my parents set me down in this forest I felt weird. Like, it was trying to take my magic from me.” Diane’s voice is shaking. “I think it’s hungry.”

Jo writes that down; she thinks she can work with that, maybe. Diane’s being cryptic, but for the first time, Jo’s willing to believe it’s because she’s actually as in the dark as the rest of them.

Mackenzie walks up to the bulletin board, eyeing the red string tying together bits and pieces of information. Notes, photographs, pieces of moss, a scrap of green fabric they found snagged on a thornbush during their first search of the forest after realizing Molly was gone. She looks at one photograph, of a dark cave covered by a waterfall.

“You guys know about the Voice?” She asks.

They look up at her.

“The Voice?” Says Jo, an echo. “The one that keeps sending monsters after us? The one that made Molly stop time?” “Yeah,” Mackenzie says. “It… it took Vanessa from us.”

“Vanessa?”

“Their counselor,” Jen says, standing up. “Purple hair, spiked up all the time, never wore her uniform, took all the good coffee from the mess hall, deadly good at scrabble. Was with us until about a week or see into the summer. And then she disappeared.”

Jo looks up from her notes. “The… the Voice took her?”

April’d told her this, of course. Mentioned it in passing. But she hadn’t expected confirmation.

“That’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“And you think it took Molly, too?” Asks Jo.

“No,” says Hes. She stands up from where she was kneeling beside Molly’s bunk. She’s holding a single brown feather. “I think she went to it willingly.”

Hes hands the feather to Jo.

“What can you say about this?” She asks.

Jo shrugs. “I…”

She doesn’t know what to say.

She’s clever, so, so, clever, but she never learned her birds. The Roanokes have never really been big on earning badges, much more concerned with running about in the woods, causing trouble if they can, stopping it if they must. That’s the point of camp, that chaotic aspect. They hadn’t gotten to birding yet. They were supposed to go two days from now, out in the forest with binoculars. They’d promised Jen. Jo knows it’s not going to happen now.

“Here,” Jen says, quietly. “Bring it over here, please?”

Jo pads over, keeping her feet light on the ancient wooden floor. The cabin is silent.

She places the feather in Jen’s hands.

“It’s unlike any I’ve seen before,” says Jen. She turns it over in her hands a few times, runs her thumb along the soft edge. “It’s a flight feather, definitely. You can see it in the shape, here, the sharpness of the form. But it’s too large to belong to any bird I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s brown,” Jo adds. “So it can’t belong to the Roc - its wings are black.”

“Yes.”

“Where did you find this?” Asks Jo, though she already knows the answer.

“Molly’s bunk.”

Her stomach won’t stop twisting itself into knots.

“Okay. So we think that Molly went to the Voice willingly. Why?”

“She doesn’t want summer to end,” says Ripley. “Mal… Mal said her parents weren’t nice, like ours are.”

“She doesn’t want to go home.” “The Voice has stopped time before,” says Wren. “We all saw the bubble incident.”

“The bubble…” Jo’s eyes go wide. “Bubbles! Where’s Bubbles?”

Suddenly they’ve all descended into a bout of chaos, searching the cabin high and low. Jo knows, she knows , that this is the best lead they’re going to get in a long, long while. If they can find the raccoon.

Ripley’s the one who finds him. Drags him out from under the her bed, a chittering anxious mess. He’s far more animalistic than what Jo’s used to; his normally too-intelligent eyes are dark and terrified, his claws are out and thrashing and frantic. He’s fighting against Ripley. He’s never fought against Ripley before.

“He’s scared,” she says.

Jo steps forward to take him from her arms, but April stops her.

“I’m the strongest one here,” she says, quietly. “I should do this. Just in case he… well, in case he gets any worse.”

Jo nods.

April reaches out and picks Bubbles up, and he immediately tears a slash in her beautiful lavender sweater. April winces, but Jo can tell it isn’t too bad; there’s no blood. For whatever reason, April’s always been hard to hurt. She’s strong as hell, and her skin doesn’t cut, unyielding to knives or claws or thorns.

“Molly,” April says to Bubbles.

Normally, Bubbles’s eyes light up at the name.

Now, he hisses, fights April’s iron grip even more.

Jo and April share a look.

Something is horribly wrong.

Jo has never hated investigating the woods at night before, though she’s starting to.

They’ve split up. Three groups; April, Wren, and Emily in the first. The second, Ripley, Hes, and Jen. Jo, Diane, and Barney in the last one..

They know it’s stupid and they know it’s impulsive and they know that the odds of them coming out of this one alive are slim, but they’ve decided to go looking for the Voice’s cave anyway.

Rosie told them not to, when they told her what was going on. Shouted at them to stay inside. Locked down the camp. It was a pain to get through her security, though easier with Jen on their side. A counselor, it seems, can slip through anything.

Jo had to make the plan, what with Mal gone. And Jen helped a bit. And they still managed to get through, nonetheless, and out into the woods safe and sound, for now.

Ripley, Hes, and Jen are trying to find Abigail, or the Bearwoman. Someone who knows about magic, someone who’d be willing to help. But the woods are a maze that changes its form with every step, and they don’t have any means of communication, even with the flares Jen promised to send up in case anything went awry.

Jo tries not to think about what might happen if the flares don’t work. Or if some tragedy befalls the group before they have time to send one up. Or if something clever, more clever than any of them put together, manages to get to them first, stealing a flare and then stealing them away like the Voice stole Molly and Mal. Because, though Jo knows it’s naive, she continues to hold onto the promise that Molly didn’t choose this. That Molly’s out there, fighting the Voice, that Mal is fighting alongside her, that they’re not handing over their souls willingly in exchange for more summer days.

Jo looks up to see Diane in front of her, turns to check that Barney’s still at her back. The trail they walk is becoming more and more narrow with each step they take. Diane keeps insisting this is good. At least, for their purposes.

“The more the trail narrows, the more the forest is trying to steer us away. It means that we’re heading towards something it doesn’t want us to find.”

“Like the Voice,” Jo says.

“Exactly.”

It feels like they’ve been walking for days, now. That the night is lasting forever. And who could tell, either way? Time doesn’t work here, not really. When Jo looks up, she sees a starless sky. Cloudy, she’d think, if she was anywhere but here. Instead, she looks up and she grows wary.

The forest controls everything, here. The deeper in they go, the more powerful it becomes.

The starless sky is a warning. She’s sure of it.

“What does the Voice look like?” Asks Barney.

“Well,” says Diane, thinking. “Great big red eyes. Body made of shadow. Evil, as far as we can tell…”

Jo finds herself smirking, despite it all. “Evil isn’t a physical trait.”

“It is on this piece of shit.”

“And we used to have a counselor?” Barney asks.

Diane nods. “Yeah. Vanessa. She disappeared before you joined up. At first we thought she just went into town on important business, or something. But then she was gone for a long time, and so Hes went looking - she was appointed Stand-In Counselor or something, thought she could boss us around - and she ended up in dark forest. Got lost for a few days. Discovered a scrap of Vanessa’s favorite t-shirt, apparently, muddied and looking a thousands years older than it should have been, but there, nonetheless. Picked it up, and immediately found herself face to face with a pair of glowing red eyes, and voice that chilled her to her bones.”

“The Voice.”

“We think so, yeah.” She looks at Jo. “At least, matches your descriptions of it.”

“Yeah.” Jo sighs. “Yeah.”

“Jo?” Says Barney. “Diane?”

“What is it, Barn?”

“Do you…” they sigh. “Do you think we’re actually going to find Molly?”

“Of course!” Jo says.

She hopes she’s not as bad a liar as she feels.

They get up and start walking again. The trees get closer and closer together, so thick they feel like a wall of solid wood. But Jo and Diane and Barney push through them. And then they find themselves met with vines. And they tear up the vines and push through these, too, and find themselves met with thorns. And on and on it seems to go, and Jo knows, knows with more than just gut instinct, that the forest doesn’t want them here.

She barely notices it when written on one of the trees is a word.

Well, the more accurate description would be carved into one of the trees.

“What does this say?”

“What?”

Jo’s stopped walking entirely, staring at the etching in the bark. “There’s something carved into this tree. I know there is.” Curse her horrible eyesight. She’s probably due for glasses anytime soon.

“Wait,” Barney says. “Diane. You can see in the dark, right?”

“How did you know that?”

Barney sighs. “Do you know how many times I’ve walked into the cabin to find you reading in the dead of night without a light on? It’s not that hard to tell. Emily told me that she actually thought you were a demon or something before she found out you were a goddess because of your wacky night vision.”

“Okay, fine. I have night vision. It’s a perk of being goddess of the hunt.”

“Okay,” Jo says, stepping aside from the tree. “Can you read this?”

Diane steps up to it, and squints. “These don’t even sound like real words.”

“Just say what it says.”

“Okay… um… ‘Wham! I Play Level Loom.’” She shakes her head. “It’s probably nothing. I mean, Level Loom? I can’t be the only one here who thinks this is ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” says Jo. “It’s an anagram.”

“Anagram?”

“Molly’s speciality.” She tries to sound calm. "It's gotta be a sign. Someone’s trying to tell us something."

Jo grabs a pencil from behind her ear, a pad of paper from her pocket. She starts writing down combinations of letters, scribbling furiously.

Barney and Diane share a glance behind her back. Diane doesn’t like the Roanokes, not really, but she is worried for them. Barney likes the Roanokes quite a bit; they’re worried for them, too.

They move away from Jo, sitting on a rock and letting her work in peace. Sometimes they pass a word or two between themselves in ASL - Wren’s been teaching them in their free time around the cabin, and they’re both quite good at it.

There’s a noise somewhere above them, a flutter of wings. They pay it no mind; there are many creatures in this forest, mostly harmless. Bats are common.

“Via Elmo, He Pwoily?” Jo mutters. “No, that’s not a word - Leave Him Wool… no, that won’t work, that doesn’t even make sense…”

The sound of pencil scratches is so loud in Jo’s ears, and the sound of those gears turning and turning in her head, she doesn’t hear the distant screams. April’s screams, she would have known, had she only listened.

Barney hears the screams. But before they can say anything, they’re gone. Diane looks up to find herself sitting next to no one.

“Jo?” She says, her voice shaking.

“Hold up Diane, not now, I’ve almost got this,” she mutters. Jo’s clever. She’s so clever, and she knows it, she knows she can do this. She has a few words down. “I have…” she writes those in. She still has a few more letters left, but then something clicks in her brain.

“Jo,” Diane says, a strange urgency in her voice. “Jo.”

“I’ve got it!” Jo says, finally looking up from her notepad. “I have Molly Powell.”

She’s so proud of her work, she doesn’t even process the words at first. And then those gears in her head start to turn, again, and she drops her pad on the ground.

“Oh my god.” “Jo?” Asks Diane. “Jo. Who has Molly?”

“I…”

I have Molly Powell.

“Hello,” says a twisted voice from above them.

Diane and Jo look up into that ink black sky.

Jo almost screams. But she knows better. April’s taught her to stand her ground.

Diane does scream. She figures that now, there’s nothing more to lose.

In the sky, wings grown from her back, eyes an icy gold, is Molly.

“I have Molly Powell,” says another voice, from behind them. A voice that sends shivers down Jo’s spine, one that’s she’s never quite heard before, but recognizes, nonetheless.

Not a voice.

The Voice.

“I think we’re going to have a lot of fun this summer,” it says. “Don’t you?”

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enby-freeman · 4 years ago

Note

Tell us about Barney!!

HFJDDJ THANKS

I have so many thoughts about Barney for the hlvrai Slime Rancher au.

- He works for the 7Zee / Black Mesa with Alyx! They get most upgrades out as soon as possible for the ranchers as well as often send out new treasure pods when they can.

- They're both on earth. Barney was meant to inherit a family ranch however due to getting sick at an unfortunate time, he couldn't take it.

- That being said, Barney didn't really want the ranch. He loves his job with the 7Zee and a part of him was more than happy to get to keep it.

- Unfortunately getting sick and not taking the ranch did cause a rift between himself and a certain family member of his.

- I like to think for the sake of this au and to incorperate HL ideas into it more, they do have advanced enough tech to set up teleporters from Earth to The Far Far Range. It just takes a lot of time and money to make them, which is why Barney's never actually thought to visit this ranch he was meant to inherit. Not that the current owner would want him to.

- If Barney ever did end up with a ranch for himself he thinks he'd work with Honey Slime most.

- Barney's outfit is very bee color based. I usually associate him with blues and purples, but because I've been trying to work lighter colors into designs I decided to flip everything and make his outfit very yellow. The Yellow - Blue - Gray color pallet has been used on a previous character who is also very bee based. His outfit is also a much simpler play on the combine uniform.

- Barney communicates most with Ranchers who really need the most help. Often times hes the one who sends an email or calls up Tommy to say "Hey theres a new rancher headed over, you should keep the lookout for them since you help them so much."

- He gets along most with Tommy! Demanded Black Mesa send out more medical related things when they found out Gordon lost a whole arm on Southpaw Ranch.

- This guy literally never sleeps. Absolutely pulls frequent all nighters to scratch down and craft new ideas along with simply studying plorts and what they can do.

- Barney knows Bubby's secret.

#hlvrai slime rancher au #crow chitter chatter

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theangrypokemaniac · 5 years ago

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Ma and Pa James's Second Biggest Fan (we plough a lonely furrow) continues to find Ma Jess's appeal mystifying, since everything about her is negative:

1. Signing up for Team Rocket suggests someone of a morally dubious character to start with, but the truth lies in the clothing, and she's in black!

Black!

It's code for her personality:

• Jessie wears white:

Pure, beautiful, innocent, sweet-natured, not really bad, dealt a severe hand in life but a fighter.

• Cassidy wears black:

EVIL!!! EVIL, EVIL, EEEEEEVUL!!! FOUL SIRENIC TEMPTRESS!!! EVIL HEARTLESS BITCH STEALING JAMES'S NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN WEEPINBELL!!!

Speaking of which:

2. She was Madame Boss's best agent.

You don't get there being kind.

To reach that standing requires hundreds of successful heists, and we aren't talking nicking gold bars. It's living things.

How many Pokémon do you imagine she stole with merciless efficiency?

How many children did she set upon, pinching every animal they had?

How many innocent lives did she ruin by depriving kids of the pets they loved, never to see them again, eaten away with the not-knowing and the false hope?

The glory of her reign ran on the fuel of blood and tears.

What fate do you envision awaited those Pokémon? It's not exchanging one master for another, it's entering slavery.

Jessie and James aren't the epitome of Team Rocket. They are minnows on the outskirts, despised and mocked by most of their fellow members. The actual group isn't particularly famous for prioritizing Pokémon welfare.

The preferable outcome is being handed out to agents to help catch other victims. Otherwise it's transformation into a war machine, forced to fight on and on to the point of exhaustion and death, no doubt tortured and tested on to boot.

What happens if they don't come up to scratch or are pushed for years until too aged and broken to be of any use? Are Team Rocket ready to pension them off to animal sanctuary?

As if. It's euthanasia or on to the streets to waste away, if not fed to the strongest first.

Ma Jess knew this and worse occurred thanks to her, yet paid it no mind, and felt not a single twinge of guilt in that time of service, then met her end trying to draw another Pokémon into imprisonment.

Some might say it was a case of what goes around, comes around. As her behaviour led to God knows how many Pokémon dying alone, leaving their loved ones to wonder and grieve, so in turn did she die alone in the snow, and Jessie had to carry on without her.

I'm not against Ma Jess, I neither feel like or dislike, but I don't understand how so many fans can happily overlook her murky past of inflicting pain, instead elevating her to a semi-divine tragic heroine, yet apparently Ma and Pa's heinous offences of not stealing and treating Pokémon well are beyond forgiveness.

3. It's the Red Ribbon Army! Save yourselves!

Jessie joined Team Rocket to follow in Ma's footsteps. James went with her. Both moved (upwardly in scale, downwardly in morals) from Sunny Town's gang of petty thief kids to a complex Mafia organisation stretching its wriggling tentacles around the world to crush the air from its lungs.

Why? Ma Jess's baleful influence led the two down that path.

Of course Jessie wants to copy Ma, how and where else can she feel close to her?

There's not even a grave to visit!

Rising in the ranks and Giovanni's favour is both to strike it rich and take her place, becoming Ma in essence. That would make her proud, which is all Jessie ever wanted.

What alternative is there? Stay with Chopper and Tyra forever, ekeing an existence pickpocketing and shoplifting, until mortality comes calling sooner than is welcome, or get loaded quickly and retire early?

James theoretically could've gone home at this point, but when it came to which angry redhead he preferred to beat him up, he chose Jessie.

He was henceforth obliged to go whenever she led, even if it meant following the ghost of her mother into the jaws of evil.

They have an excuse, but what was Ma's for getting involved?

However much they boast and revel in their wickedness, the motto proves the couple still believe themselves on a noble quest, despite everything to the contrary, and why?

Jessie isn't about to accept that Ma Jess, whom she's probably idolized as one of few people to love her and a role model of how a woman should be, was nasty or unpleasant. If she was in Team Rocket, it must be good, whatever the outer appearance.

Except Jessie and James are bad at being bad. They are not master criminals. All their plans fail, rendering them poor and starving in consequence. The inner circle of Team Rocket will always be barred to them because they lack the inner darkness it requires.

The joke is they flourish in any other occupation, whether that be Salon Rocquet, reporters, or flogging merchandise and food at the League. If employed elsewhere they'd be better off, but they have to stay because Jessie can't let go, or bear the thought she might be a disappointment to her mother's name. A different career looks unworthy by comparison.

What, so Ma and Pa have got no son because of Ma Jess? They just wanted him to be a gentleman!

If she hadn't set such a terrible example to her daughter she might have an increased quality of life, but then had she done so Ma wouldn't be dead in the first place.

4. Can't pick 'em can she?

What was it that first attracted Ma to Windy Miller? Does she go for the rustic charm, or the promise of a lifetime's supply of bread to feed the abundance of babies planned?

Don't do it, Ma! He's an alky!

Some birds are like that you see. It's the maternal instinct gone haywire. They find a local reprobate and somehow decide he's really a damaged soul crying out for love, the scapegoat of a cruel society.

He's not evil, he's just misunderstood!

This is why you get nutters wanting to marry the Yorkshire Ripper: they put his 'mischief' down to bad women mistreating his gentle heart, but they of course are devoted to his happiness. They can change him.

You don't know him like I do!

In their fantasy, under the influence of a 'proper' woman he'll transform in to a flower-picking hippie, but not too much, they still like him to be dangerously 'manly' (keeps 'em on their toes), then they can feel smugly superior and more truly female than the 'lesser' breed who failed to tame his sexy pashuns.

And if there's one thing Windy has in abundance, it's raw animal magnetism.

Stop it, Ma! You can't help those who don't want helping!

She put up with the boozing, the flour dust and his somewhat limited communication skills, but what really let him down was the company he kept.

Ever after she would insist Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub led him astray. That's firemen for yer.

Cuthbert? That name's died out.

Sure enough, some point after Ma Jess was stuffed up the spout, old Windy legged it back to Camberwick Green, like the rascal he is, and not a sweet penny piece did she receive in maintenance, the bastard.

At least Ma James got pregnant by a man who stood by her.

She wasn't married to Windy Miller!

Oh, you mean they were living over the brush? I see.

It's all in your head!

Do it my way, and we have Pa Jess. Do it yours, and we're back to a cavernous emptiness. Unless you can supply a picture of the 'real' (pffft) Pa Jess, this is the best available.

Anyway, 'Jessie Miller' just sounds right.

Coincidence? I think not.

5. She went to look for Mew dressed like this.

I could forgive it had she gone in her normal uniform, that's just whimsy, but to have made some effort emphasises that it's not enough!

Some part of her understood a mountain might be a bit parky out, but this was deemed sufficient coverage!

What happened?

She bloody died didn't she?!

6. Ma Boss points the way to doom.

Ma Jess was at least loyal to the mistress she served, but it was a wasted dedication. She squandered her life obeying a heartless virago who could cast aside apparently valued staff without a qualm, whatever thanks she owed them.

The millions Ma Jess accumulated for Madame are probably uncountable, yet she was so worthless that, when dispatched to the mountain, on her own, expected to catch a Legendary Pokémon, by herself, which many doubted even existed, and wasn't likely to come quietly, or put up with orders, but then didn't come back, Madame Boss allowed her only child to sink into poverty and the infamous 'care' of the State.

Everyone knows what goes on there. Entering a home has replaced the workhouse as the place of dread.

Jessie might have been killed or attacked and it didn't remotely concern Madame Boss, unwilling to spare a meagre fraction of her massive fortune to give the girl she made an orphan any comfort or security.

What did she matter? Her mother failed. Why reward that?

In her turn, Jessie became just as obsequious to an undeserving master, who went further than his mama and actively tried to murder her, and still she suffers to please him.

Team Rocket devoured her mother, and now it's swallowed her.

Oh, and Madame Boss got her way upon discovering Mew's fossil, so Ma Jess died for nothing.

7. This.

I'm not surprised Mew wouldn't go with Ma. She probably sensed the vivisection awaiting, and didn't give a toss about the avalanche in revenge.

Mew hasn't got where she is today falling for any old shallow promises from a stranger, thank you.

Suppose the mission had worked, with Mew caught and gift wrapped for Madame's delectation: what then?

Perhaps Mew's power, proving so impressive, would've pushed any cloning scheme aside, leaving Mewtwo unborn and Mew as the mightiest weapon. Or in greed Madame Boss demands more, and in arrogance the scientists promise the earth, the seas and the heavens.

Mew I could see subjected to some non-lethal form of dissection, just to understand how she ticked, that is if they could build the cage to hold her.

As they couldn't, and catching Mew was never a possibility, then Ma Jess's sacrificed herself on a fool's errand, which was obviously one from the outset. If Mew was easy to handle she'd have been captured long before now.

Either Ma dies, Mew's safe, but Madame Boss starts the cloning scheme anyway, or Ma's victorious, Mew is a tool of Team Rocket and the scientists have more sample to experiment upon. Mewtwo is still made, alongside short-lived creations and dozens of unseen freakish abominations preceding.

Now Mewtwo isn't what you call at peace with himself, nor has he received a particularly wholesome experience. One could think Ma indirectly caused that. Her branch of the project may have fizzled to cinders but she still played her role.

What would her legacy have been but to help bring forth the being that wiped out mankind? Where's the future for Jessie when there isn't one?

It's not her fault, but she died in the name of cloning a biological disaster, the creation of synthetic life leading to the destruction of it all.

8. Let's have a gander at Ma in the anime:

• Can afford rent.

• Can afford a tray.

• Can afford crockery.

• Can afford condiments to add flavour to food.

• Can't afford any actual food.

Something's wrong there.

I intended to include affording clothes too, but now I'm not so sure.

I never took Ma to be a brown-all-over kind of woman. At least she gave the fancy stuff to Jessie.

For years I've assumed she wore a brightly coloured jacket, but now I suspect it's a red one heavily patched up, because buying a replacement isn't an option.

Really old clothes are being mended with whatever can be salvaged from even more worn-out clobber.

Best agent Madame Boss has and she's practically living in her own filth.

Team Rocket takes care of its own, eh?

Oh no, let's not get a proper job, one that allows me to provide for my daughter and doesn't ask for my life. Let's stay in this one!

9. Look at Jessie's face!

By her own admission, being tricked into eating snow is the best thing that ever happened to her during an 'otherwise wretched childhood', to the extent she doesn't know it was wrong!

I don't hear Ma and Pa doing that. The only ice James got was an ice-cream sandwich.

What kind of infancy did Ma Jess give the girl for her to be nostalgic about almost dying of malnutrition?

If we say that's a foster mother as in the sub, it means Jessie's fondest memory is after Ma died, which is too brutal for me.

Yeah, thank goodness she's snuffed it.

You think Ma might have taught her not to eat snow! She left her so ill-prepared!

Consequently the sub version makes Ma Jess an awful creature, although I don't see why that Jessie would so desire to mimic a mom she apparently doesn't care about.

10. She's not even bloody here!

I have no picture to signify absence, therefore I must show whom she left behind.

Ma Jess is Pokémon's answer to Bobba Fett: background figure, barely involved, no information, dies early, yet became a fan favourite nevertheless.

If nothing really exists, what is there to like? Why are you contented weaving smoke?

When Rocketshippers put forward the manga as proof, the Anti-Ships used to insist that it 'didn't count' for being set in a 'separate universe'.

If that still goes, and only the contents of the anime apply to the anime, well then it's bye-bye to Ma Jess and Madame Boss, because they aren't real either.

I sometimes think that's true. However traumatic, would Jessie not have acknowledged her mother by now otherwise?

We grasp the characters all had two parents in a nebulous fashion, although not being real people means they don't 'technically' need them, but Ma Jess is the only one who vanished to be granted a face. Why is she then ignored?

She's briefly glimpsed in a passing scene of a single episode of the first series and is never seen or referenced again. The sub doesn't even have that. Where was the use in creating her if only to leave that thread of the tale billowing in the breeze?

We may decide her actions affect Jessie's but we're only imprinting assumptions. She might as well have remained unwritten for all that's made of her.

What we can glean doesn't bode well, irrespective of things left unmentioned.

Her one redeeming deed was dying, thus at least she didn't choose to abandon Jessie. We may presume she'd have stayed with her girl given the chance.

By my reckoning that puts her as Fifth-Best Mother Of Pokémon, behind Ma Brock, Ma James, Dame Ketchum and Ma Boss, in that order.

Then they're those who claim she never died, so she just pissed off like everyone else, rendering her devoid of a single positive quality.

This is the woman you sigh and agonise over for decades.

Ma and Pa are right there, man! Show 'em some love!

#team rocket #ma jessie #jessie's mom #jessie #jessie's dad #madame boss #mewtwo #kanto #snow way out!#the birth of mewtwo

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hanniiesuckle17 · 6 years ago

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You Make Me Nervous

A/n: soooo I couldn’t think of a way to do this WELL without is being a school au so here you go my lovelies! BTW Requests open (for multiple groups)

Requested by the wonderful @sweetie-yoongi7 sorry it took so long lol! I had school and then I got a concussion lmao. but hope you like it!

MEMBER: Hyunjin ft. Stray Kids

Warnings: Swearing, bullying

Summary: Hyunjin used to be one of your closest friends. He even lived down the street from you. During middle school, things all started to go wrong when you discovered feelings for him and soon after he became cold and distant. The two of you drifted apart but recently in your junior year of high school he seems to have taken the wrong kind of interest in you. Days of pinkie promises and walking home from school have been traded for menacing words in the halls and harassment after hours. Was this really the boy you had fallen for? Or was he gone forever?

Genre: High angst, school au, bully au, bad boy au, (also I hate writing a pitiful reader because hell no be a strong woman, but seriously if something is going on feel free to message me. I am always here to talk.)

Times of Popsicles on my front porch and jump ropes were long gone. My junior year of high school and for lack of a better word, my life had gone to shit. Yeah, I had a couple of friends, but they weren’t really people I’d consider hanging out with at lunch or outside of school. I had a boyfriend at the beginning of the year, but that didn’t last long either. The douche bag cheated on me with some girl in his bio class. So, I didn’t really talk to Jun anymore.

However, what really made my life suck was not the friends or the boyfriend. It was Hwang Hyunjin and his group of asshats. Hwang Hyunjin was one of the most popular boys in school, not to mention one of the most good looking. He was our class president and maybe not the smartest in the class, but he still had all the teachers wrapped around his finger. He was also one of the biggest bullies in our school and I was his lucky target.

This morning went like any other. My uniform skirt was itchy like always when I sat in classroom 2-06. I sat somewhat near the back so no one would bother me, but Hyunjin and his lackeys always sat near me so they could mess with me the rest of the day.

With rude notes thrown at me and boys pinching harshly at my legs every time I got up, I was extremely pissed off by the end of the day. Changbin, Hyunjin’s friend, tripping me as I exited the classroom was the last straw. “What’s your problem?” I screamed at the sharp chinned boy.

He laughed, eyes wide at my response. The halls were long empty by now and teachers had left for the day. “Oh, Hyunjin! She seems a little feisty today. I heard you like them that way.” He nudged the tall boy towards me causing the younger to smirk. With a harsh move of his hand, Hyunjin shoved me against the wall.

“Now, I don’t quite remember telling you, that you could leave. Do you?” He kept his voice low, but loud enough for Changbin and the other two boys, Han and Felix, to hear. His dark hair fell in front of his eyes as a devilish smirk played on his lips. I kept my chin up and stared defiantly back at him with my shoulders back.

“Get out of my way asshole, before I tell your little friends you used to sleep with a Barney doll. Oops. Sorry.” A smile threatened to cross my face, but the look Hyunjin gave me stopped it. With one turn of his head his friends’ laughter silenced. Turning back to me, his hand went to my cheek.

“Oh, Y/n.” He pushed it aside rather harshly and shoved me to the floor. “No wonder you fucked it up with Jun. There’s nothing here any normal guy would want.” He started to walk away, but turned back to me. “Stuff her in the locker room. School will be locked until Monday.” Changbin and Felix grabbed my arms and tried to pull me down the hall while I struggled and screamed against their grip.

“You mother fucking dickheads! Let me go pea-brains! Hwang Hyunjin! You bastard!” I could swear I saw him glance back before walking down the hall with Han. It didn’t matter. Felix and Changbin dragged me into the boys locker room and shoved me into one of the lockers. “See you on Monday." Felix’s rough voice said as he slammed the door shut, bolting me inside with no way to get out.

I screamed for hours on end, hoping someone would hear me. Soon I gave up and sat in the bottom of the cramped locker. My cheek pressed against the cold metal and I tried not to cry. He really wasn't the boy I remembered was he? I think it was time I gave up on the fantasy that Hyunjin will return to the boy I fell in love with when I was little.

All of sudden the door opened causing moonlight to stream into the cramped space. Before me stood a boy with a worried look on his face and his hair a mess. "Y/n?" He held out his hand and helped me out of the cramped space. "Are you okay?" I nodded and tried to brush myself off. The dim moonlight cast a small glow over the boy's face, letting me see my rescuer. "Jeongin, how did you know I was here?" He looked at the ground for a fleeting second before meeting my eyes again and walking out of the locker room.

"I was studying late in the library and on my way out I heard you yelling." The cool night air was refreshing as we walked outside. "You have no idea how grateful I am." He smiled at looked at me. There was a little bit of a pause before he spoke again. "Y/n, you don't have many friends, do you?" I started to shift uncomfortably under his stare, but something about Jeongin made me feel safe. Like I could say anything.

"No, not really." Trying to cover the sad statement with a laugh I fiddled with the strap of my bag. Normally I didn't mind being alone. But as of late, I seemed to be sad all the time and then there was the Hyunjin fiasco. Jeongin was in my class as well. He sat near the front and was one of the brighter students of our classroom. I had heard before that he also used to have history with Hyunjin. The two of us had never spoken, but suddenly had a connection that made us inseparable.

After that night, everywhere I looked Jeongin was there. He moved to sit beside me in class and we ran home together trying to escape the fury of Han and his marshmallow shooter. The boy quickly became my closest friend.

A couple months later, Jeongin and I walked out to the courtyard for our class' free period. It was a sunny day and the two of us wandered over to our usual spot under this big green tree. We usually just sat and talked. Sometimes we did homework if neither of us were distracted. However, today Jeongin stopped me before I sat against the roots.

"Y/n, can I ask you something?" His usual bright smile was replaced with a look of worry and he fidgeted with the hem of his uniform. I didn't understand why he couldn't out right ask. He usually was very straight forward and often had little to no filter.

"You can always ask me anything!" A little smile flashed at the corner of his lips, making me realize how cute he was with that nervous grin, braces proudly showing. "Umm...well. I'm not the most good looking, and I know that I'm not what you had expected. But that doesn't change the fact that I think you're the most wonderful girl I've ever met."

His words shocked me. Surprisingly they left a feeling in my stomach that could only be described as the drop of a roller coaster. His eyes were kept firmly on his shoes. After a pause Jeongin looked up with hopeful eyes.

"Let's date, Y/n."

He took a step closer and before I could even register that it had happened his lips left my cheek. My fingers brushed the skin that still had a tingling sensation. The bell rang signaling free period's end. I turned back to look at Jeongin.

"You don't have to answer right away. I'll meet you back here to walk home!" He walked back into the building while I stood there a moment trying to process what happened.

The rest of the day I couldn't help at glance at Jeongin next to me. I didn't even notice Hyunjin in the seat in front of me. Even when he spilled his soda on textbook, causing Han and Felix to laugh.

How did I really feel about Jeongin? I did like him. That was for sure. But, did I like him enough to date him? Or enough to forget my fantasy of the boy I remembered coming back to me. The thoughts whirled in my mind for hours.

It wasn't until I noticed I was alone in the classroom that I realized the school day had ended. Rushing outside, I raced to the tree and hoped that I hadn't made Jeongin wait too long. But, when I got there, he was no where to be found. I shrugged and sat against the roots thinking he must have stayed and talked to a teacher for something.

An hour passed and I began to think something was wrong. Getting up, I left my back pack by the tree and walked back towards the school. I heard voices near the back of the building, so I ventured there. As I turned the corner I saw Jeongin pinned against the wall by Hyunjin.

"You kissed her! What did I say? What did I tell you to do?" Hyunjin screamed. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw him glance back at Changbin and Felix. It must have been in my head, but it looked like he was searching for approval from them.

Quickly it disappeared and his glare returned. "I'm sorry..." Jeongin whimpered. Somehow I realized what was going to happen before any sign was given. It took every muscle and fiber of my being as I sprinted forward. The only thing I felt was a strike to my jaw before I fell to the ground.

Looking up from the ground, I saw the shocked faces of Jeongin and Hyunjin. The entire left side of my face felt like a train had run over it. I touched my lip and pulled away to find blood. Hyunjin looked from me to his hand, which to my surprise was trembling.

"Jeongin, are you okay?" I asked, still on the ground. He slowly nodded and looked from me to the boys around us. All of a sudden we heard the voices of the security guards coming closer. Jeongin raced off in one direction, while Changbin and Felix took off in another. Hyunjin just stood there. Almost in a trance. I stood quickly and turned to run, but was stopped by the voices of the guards being dangerously close.

I felt someone pull on my wrist and I was, though quickly, gently placed against the wall. Stunned, I looked up to see Hyunjin looking around the corner, his body pressed close to mine. His hand reached carefully up to my cheek, covering up the red mark and cut on my lip. The first glimpse of the two guards he closed his eyes tight and rested his forehead against mine.

I stood frozen. I didn't fully understand what was going on. What I didn't know was that Hyunjin's heart was beating just as fast as mine.

"Yah! You two kids! Don't mess around on school property! Take your girlfriend home!" The loud voice of the guard said from a short distance away. I began to turn my head in response, but Hyunjin kept me in place as he looked up instead. He tenderly brought my head into his chest, so they couldn't see my face. I heard him respond before he reached down for my hand and pulled me away in the opposite direction.

Many thoughts ran through my mind. All I could do was stare in front of me at Hyunjin, who still gripped tightly onto my hand. I followed where led, but it soon became clear he didn't have a set location.

"Hyunjin!" He turned and stopped at my voice. Immediately I felt bad for yelling at him. His cheeks were stained with tears that he was obviously trying to keep in. He quickly let go of my hand, realizing he was still holding it.

The two of us stood there next to the brick wall that separated the school from the neighborhood. Hyunjin quickly wiped away the tears and took a breath before composing himself. However, his cool exterior didn't return. The Hyunjin in front of me had his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoes now seemed very interesting to him. The sight reminded me of when we were little and he accidentally lost my ball over a fence.

"Yah, Hyunjin. Don't worry about. I won't tell anyone about this. I know you hate me." For some reason it hurt me to see him like this, even though I didn't understand. "I don't hate you." He said softly still looking at the ground. He didn't hate me? The boy who constantly tortured me? The one who took my underwear after gym class and strung it on the flag pole? The one who deleted my competition essay fifteen minutes before the deadline?

"You make me nervous." Hyunjin confessed. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something, but I was stunned into silence. It was this moment that he gained enough courage to look me in the eye. As soon as he did, he lost it and looked everywhere but my eyes.

"After middle school I just didn't know how to act around you. I was anxious to see you all the time. But, slowly we started to drift apart and we both found new friends. I kind of got sucked into the wrong crowd. I'm not proud of it, but I really wanted Changbin, and Han, and Felix to like me. I figured that any attention from you would make me happy. It just spiraled out of control. I hated every minute of it."

Genuine hurt and shame showed on his face, and tears threatened to fall from his dark eyes. “Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I knew you wouldn’t notice me if I didn’t make you. Especially with grades and friends like mine. I liked you too much to just let you slip away. I never meant to hurt you.”

When my silence continued, Hyunjin walked to the wall and slid down its surface. Part of me wondered if he had finished speaking, but I stayed quiet. Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair and played with a bracelet on his wrist. “When we were younger it was always you taking care of me. I was always the weaker one. I think that’s why I liked- like-you so much. You were always so strong. I wanted you to see I wasn’t that little boy anymore. That I was strong enough to take care of you. Not that you need to be taken care of, but because I want- I have this desire to be next to you and take care of you.”

After a moment I moved and sat next to him against the wall. “Three things.” I said looking forward. “One; what makes you think that I care about your grades? Two; I don’t think you remember how strong you actually were when we were little. I was always the emotional one. I used to climb up to your bedroom window when I was crying from a bad dream. I did that because I knew you would take care of me.”

A soft wind started to blow through the trees. The breeze lifted leaves across the street. “You said three things. That was two.” “I thought you weren’t smart?” “Okay, I can count.” He turned showing me that smile of his that made me forget the past couple of years. “Three is.....I think you should kiss me to make up for being a complete asshat.”

“I wasn’t a complete asshat-” “You were the Royal Bitch Master General.” His laughter floated on the wind like notes of the perfect melody. “I thought you liked Jeongin?” For the first time Hyunjin looked over at me. A sigh of relief left him as I shook my head no. “Y/n, I like you.” He turned causing a strand of his hair to fall in front of his eyes. “You better kiss me right now before I remember your little Barney doll.” “Oh my god! Shut up!” He said with a smile as he pulled me closer.

I walked into class a little later than usual the next day. Finding Hyunjin’s stare, I walked to my seat behind him. However, before I got there I tripped over Han’s foot which was conveniently out in the aisle. I felt a grip on my arm steadying my balance. Hyunjin kept his stare forward, but he allowed his hand to linger on my arm for a second to long. When his touch left, I turned towards his laughing friend.

“Yah! Han Jisung! Acting like a prick won’t make yours any bigger than the microscopic length it already is.” The entire classroom reacted as I smirked and went to my seat. The class went quiet as the teacher came in the room. I could tell Mr.Jung was pissed off as soon as he walked through the door. I just prayed I wasn’t the student he preyed on today.

“Everyone, quiet. Today we will be reviewing last week’s lesson on hyperbolas, parabolas, ellipses,etc, etc, etc.” Hyunjin leaned back in his seat, his left hand hanging off the back of the chair balled in a fist. He let out a shaky sigh. Math was never his strong suit.

“Mr. Hwang.” Hyunjin tensed in his seat. Mr. Jung’s target had been acquired. “Can you please explain to the class how you would get the rectangular form of a parametric equation.” The entire class looked back at Hyunjin expectant for an answer. “Well-I...uh for--um...” I saw his knuckles turn white. “Mr. Hwang, it’s quite simple. Cut the ‘uh’s and the ‘um’s.” Hyunjin ran a shaky hand through his hair while the other curled tighter and tighter to the point where I was afraid he would make himself bleed. “I’m sorry- I don’t kn-” “You don’t know!” Hyunjin flinched as Mr. Jung continued to yell at him.

Instinctively I leaned over my desk and reached for his hand over. The tension in his fist eased as he felt the touch of my skin. Slowly he opened his hand and his fingers entangled themselves with mine. He let out a slow breath and I saw the tension leave his shoulders. My thumb brushed across his skin. Every time Mr. Jung yelled at Hyunjin I just hoped I could keep him calm.

Eventually we got through the end of class, and then the end of the school day. When the bell rang Hyunjin’s hand was still holding onto mine between our desks. “You coming, dude?” Changbin asked as he headed out the door. Actually-uh-I think I’m going to ‘borrow’ some notes from the nerd-OW!” He exclaimed as I squeezed his hand really hard. “You okay?” He shook his head before responding. “Uh-yeah. My hand just still hurts from yesterday. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The two of us watched as Changbin exited leaving us alone in the classroom. “That hurt, you know.” I smiled as he turned around and brought our intertwined hands up onto my desk. “Good. Don’t call your tutor a nerd.” I said moving to go sit on top of his desk. “My tutor?” He said leaning back in his seat and looking up at me.”Well....you suck at for lack of a better word..school. Therefore, I will tutor you after school.”

He smiled and his hand found mine again. “Dream come true. I get my girlfriend to myself and I get to pass pre-calculus.” Pulling on the fabric of his shirt, I brought his lips to mine. “What if did less studying and more other stuff?” A little smirk played on my lips when surprise came over his features. “You know I’m tired of the school girl aesthetic.” “Yeah?” He played with the edge of my skirt before looking me in the eyes again. “You what would be really sexy?”

“What?” “You. In my bed. In sweatpants and hoodie. After I pass math. Or helping me pass math. Either will get me off.” He said trying to keep a straight face. I laughed and kissed him again. “That sounds awesome. Wanna go now?” He nodded and got up, shouldering his bag. “Off to my house!” He said as he followed me to the door. “Off to learn about parametric formulas and graphs!”

“I change my mind. I’ll do the school girl thing. It’s sexist and demeaning, but I’m all for it now. Let’s just not do graphs.”

Masterlist

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anaxgardner · 6 years ago

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Omovember Day 17- Wetting in a Uniform

Axel laid back onto his husband’s chest, fighting to catch his breath. “Don’t you think we should tend to the puddle on the floor?” he asked, not making the effort to move.

“In a minute, just lay with me for a while,” Jayce responded, leaning down to place a kiss on Axel’s forehead.

“Jayce, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, you can ask me anything.” Jayce grew concerned by the anxious tone in Axel’s voice.

“How did you figure out you were into all this holding stuff?”

Jayce smiled, his mind flashing back to the first night he’d seen Axel get caught short.

“Do you remember that night I showed up at the club to surprise you?”

Axel nodded…

Jayce opened the door to the club, immediately being assaulted by the thumping of loud music. He was no stranger to Barney’s, the all-male strip club his boyfriend Axel worked for. He walked down the dark hallway leading to the main room, where Axel was just about to take the stage. He ran in to Roxy, a waitress turned close friend that Jayce had been introduced to his first night there.

“Hey you!” she chimed, reaching her arms up to wrap around his neck so she could talk in his ear. “I had a feeling you’d show up tonight, I saved you a seat right up front.”

Jayce thanked her, making his way into the main room and winding his way through the maze of tables and chairs, finding the empty seat Roxy saved him. Another waitress buzzed by the table, dropping off a drink that Roxy had presumably ordered for him, and he picked it up to take a sip as Axel’s signature song started.

Immediately, Jayce knew something was off. Axel’s nightly uniform, tight leather jeans, fit just a little tighter around his hips, and Axel looked slightly pale. He was sweating slightly, but Jayce chalked that up to the lights and possibly water left over from the opening number. Axel maneuvered his way through the set just like he did night after night, but stumbled over a few moves, something Jayce had never seen happen before. He didn’t think Axel had noticed him by this point, so he sat back and continued to sip on his drink.

Over the four and a half minutes of the song, Jayce watched Axel start to move slower and slower, and continue to trip over his own feet. He furrowed his brows, wondering what had Axel so flustered. Usually, he would jump off the stage and pick on someone in the audience, but he never did.

The second the last chord was struck, instead of hanging around like usual, Axel dashed off the stage. Jayce set down his drink and took off backstage after him.

He found Axel just down the hallway throwing off his leather jacket and yanking the red bandana from his hair.

“Axel, are you okay I—”

Axel looked up, startled that Jayce was standing in front of him. “J-Jayce what are you—mm.” Axel stopped mid-sentence and doubled over with his hand on the button of his jeans.

“Axel, what’s wrong?”

Axel whispered a strained apology before letting out a big sigh. It took a before Jayce could see the front of Axel’s leather jeans grow wet. His face went dark, and he hid behind his hands. Jayce didn’t know what to do other than to stand back and watch. He felt heat come to his own face, and he was surprised that he was having such a positive reaction to Axel’s unfortunate situation.

Once Axel’s bladder was empty, he pulled his shaking hands away from his face. “I-I’m so sorry,” he stammered, “I just had to go so bad and—”

Jayce reached forward and took his boyfriend’s hand, hoping Axel wouldn’t notice the way Jayce’s own jeans had grown a little tighter. “Hey, it’s okay, accidents happen.” Without thinking, Jayce pulled him close, and Axel gave a little wiggle before smiling up at Jayce.

“Are you turned on by this?”

“I-I don’t know why…” Jayce stuttered.

Axel put a hand around Jayce’s neck and pulled him down slightly to whisper in his ear. “Take me home.”

#omovember #omorashi #omo #male omo #male omorashi #male pee desperation #male desperation #malexmale

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margarittet · 7 years ago

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Scoobies and Djinns and Dean, oh my!

So all that talk about djinns and Cas made me think about the other times we had djinn on the show, especially 2x20 “What is and What Should Never Be” and 8x20, “Pac-Man Fever”. These two times we see the fake realities the djinn creates to trap Dean and Charlie respectively, and on the meta level these realities showed us (and the characters) a glimpse under the surface of what was going on inside their minds - mainly Dean. The first dream was Dean centered, and the other one was Dean centered by proxy. Both times Dean is faced with realization: to keep moving on with his life, he needs to let go of something (in 2x20 he needs to let go of his idea of the perfect family life where everyone is normal, happy and successful - everyone but him; in 9x20 he needs to let go of his need to protect Sam).

Both times he decides to let it go, and by doing that he manages to break out of the dream, and get back to the reality.

Dude, I hear you. And yet...

Well, it is, isn’t it? It is not exactly a djinn dream, but it seems like all of the situations have A LOT in common.

This Scooby Doo episode is a CONSTRUCT, and it is tailor-made for Dean.

Why do I think so? First of all, the shoutouts to djinns and Gabriel (and a callback to the “bigger mouth” joke from “Changing Channels”), both of whom created their fake realities in ways that fit the boys personally. Gabriel adjusted the real-life television programs so that they go smoothly with the boys’ story and the djinn dream in “What Is and What Should Never Be” is made based on Dean’s dreams and insecurities. For me, the whole Scooby Doo story inside the story is more a thing shaped by Dean’s subconsciousness (or at least we should see it like that) that Sam and Cas got sucked into as guest visitors. It’s almost like being dragged into somebody else’s dream.

Do you remember when Dean hitched a ride into Charlie’s subconsciousness in “Pac-Man Fever”? He woke up in the computer game she often dreamt about, dressed as an army doctor, in full hospital uniform and heavily decorated. Why? Because that’s how Charlie saw him - as a skilled, dependable fighter, but also a guy who’s main job in life was to help people in need. Dean was still himself inside, as his whole consciousness was put into that dream, but his outside look and the role he played in her dream was dictated by her subconsciousness. In both cases, both in 2x20 and in 8x20, everyone else besides the self-aware people, were just pawns, fake background characters put there by the subconsciousness of the dreamer (or dreamers, as Charlie asks Dean in 8x20: “Is this my nightmare or yours?”) to make a point. In 2x20 Dean was still Dean, but his role in the dream (a guy with a low-level job, stealing, gambling, having a girlfriend having “low standards” for dating him), and every other person there, was dictated by his subconsciousness.

“Scoobynatural” is not a djinn dream, but the djinn dream rules seem to apply here.

So, why would the ghost kid decide to put an adult man of 39 into a tailor-made cartoon, you ask? Well, because the said man has only been mentioning kid’s stuff every five seconds since he stepped on screen in this episode: Moosylvania (the fictional country from “The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle“, the original moose and squirrel show), Barney, Bat Cave/Fortress of Solitude (comic book/superhero references) , and “Frozen”. Except the moment he enthusiastically starts humming “Sunrise” from Richard Strauss’ “Thus Spoke Zarathustra”, these are Dean’s only cultural references in the episode before the boys get sucked into the 2D-land.

So, if this assumption is right, what does Dean’s subconsciousness tell us here? Let’s look how his psyche shaped the characters’ and their roles in the Scoobyland.

First of all, it puts them in “A Night of Fright is No Delight”, the episode that includes a character of Colonel Sanders (Asmodeus, anyone?).

Daphne is hotter and sexier than we remembered, which is completely understandable since Dean was watching Scooby Doo as a kid, and even the regular Daphne was probably considered crazy hot by the tween Dean. It’s understandable that his subconsciousness would make her much more adult-looking than she actually was on screen, in the same way our older siblings always seemed taller and more mature than they really were at the time.

Fred - the one guy who is everything Dean had always so desperately wanted to be. Cool, good-looking, optimistic, well-dressed, STRAIGHT, with groovy tunes and a fast car. Big, beautiful and dumb, the one who always runs head-first into the dangerous situation, no matter the consequence. His elaborate plans never work, but he still succeeds. In Dean’s mind Fred wins at life - he wins the car race, he gets the girl, he is the self-assured leader of the group. Dean wants to be him, but Dean also wants to be WITH him (but that’s a topic for another time).

Velma, Scooby and Shaggy are pretty regular, but the costruct has special roles for them - to be paired with just the right people.

Velma is infatuated with Sam from the very beginning, and Cas (the talking dog) is paired with Shaggy and Scooby right away - and please notice how it’s Scooby characters who approach them when the group splits, not the other way round; Sam doesn’t choose Velma - Velma just slides to Sam’s side, and in the same way Scooby and Shaggy are the only ones who even acknowledge that Cas exists). (Similarly, please notice how Daphne doesn’t seem to approach anyone from the TFW herself, and Fred magnetically approaches Dean every single time Daphne doesn’t seem to have any interest in him).

The Scooby characters are painfully two dimentional (no pun intended), and only seem to play their expected parts in this weird fanfiction (except for the moment when they get their nervous breakdown due the the fact that Dean stops performing, and starts being real about ghosts - and that’s also the time where the characters fall out of their expected roles).

Three other elements get sucked into the Scoobyland alongside Dean - Sam, Cas and Baby. The three most important things in Dean’s life. The Impala looks sexy. Cas looks REALLY sexy. Cartoon Sam has a permanent bitchface looking at Dean. (This also calls back to 2x20, where Sam didn’t actually like Dean in his dream construct. Like, AT ALL.) As I said, some people in the construct are themselves and self-aware, but their outside visuals seem to be dictated by the dreamer/central person.

You are telling me it’s not Dean’s subconsciousness speaking to us here?

As I said, Sam looks pretty much like regular Sam, but he is the only one who gets the attention of the girl who Dean most probably thinks the best suited for him: the smart, bookish one. Because that’s how Dean sees Sam: as the one who deserves attention, who is the smart one, the brains of the operation, who should get the kiss and the happy ending. In season 8, Dean says it in text (in a Dabb episode, no less, “Trial and Error”), that Sam should survive, should get a normal life, a wife and a way out. And where Dean failed to get interest of either Fred or Daphne - because even when he lets himself admit he actually does like Fred as well, his subconsciousness blocks his chances with either of them because he still doesn’t think he is good enough to be wanted by anyone (oh, Dean). (In the same way he questions why a cute, smart, and mature girl is dating him in the dream in 2x20, hearing that she she only does it because has low standards.) Daphne ignores him. Fred compliments him, but in the end leaves him as well, and goes off together with Daphne.

Cas, as mentioned, looks devastatingly handsome (much more than usually, great job there Dean’s subconsciousness), and Dean can’t stop smiling when he shows up in the Scoobyland.

It was the last missing piece of his perfect dream adventure. In Dean’s mind Cas is the talking dog of their group, and sure enough, from the moment he arrives he gets automatically approached and claimed by Scooby and Shaggy, bonding with them and showing his Superman side before the end of the case. Cas is not happy to be in the cartoon though, and here comes the ironic part of episode, and he whole season as well: by performing violently while chasing his unattainable goal of seducing Daphne, and at the same time seaching for approval from Fred, Dean alienated the one person who actually matters, who doesn’t care about the performance at all, who thinks the ghost’s costume is ridiculous. Not unlike in 13x06, Cas sees Dean really happy for reasons he is not a part of (or thinks he is not a part of because Dean is a coward), and fails to understand that in the end nothing else matters to Dean beside Cas (and his and only his attention and approval)(also, Dean ends the episode with losing exactly this).

Dean enjoys the Scoobyland, but he quickly learns that a) it’s not real life (obviously), and b) it doesn’t serve as his safe haven anymore.

Whatever makes Dean happy in the Scoobyland is just a childhood fantasy that he tries desperately to hold on to because otherwise he’d have to face the reality of who he really is, and the life he leads. In the end though he understands letting go (like Elsa, like the djinn dreams) is the way to go - he admits that ghosts are real, shattering the naivity and the innocence of the Scooby gang in the process, and he admits that Fred is not so bad after all, that he is not an enemy but an ally (or maybe even something more - the yang to Daphne’s yin, the metaphor for uniting the feminine and the masculine aspects in his life and his sexuality). And even though eventually TFW helps Velma and the gang to bounce back to their regular, pure selves, Dean is not backtracking after this - no, he comes back to the real world and follows through with the promise of liberating the ghost boy aka his own spirit of childhood while literally hammering the point home by smashing the tv and the Scoobyland to pieces.

This is only possible because Dean was ready to let it all go already. This was his last hurrah, his last bucket of cold water that he needed to realize that he has moved on from that childhood ideal of masculine men and hot girls, that he can admit he likes the stuff (and people) he likes without feeling ashamed, and that Fred actually is a kind of a douche and nothing much to aspire to (but he still likes him). That if he wants to like Elsa and wear ascots, he will just like Elsa and wear ascots. That being smart pays off because you find secret passages, that Freds plans never work while his own do, that being honest and sincere is always the right way to go.

In the end he admits it would never have worked out with Daphne anyway (don’t we all know it!)

Even during the story, everytime he turns away from chasing after Daphne, he turns back to Dean we know and love: the hug monster in his purple nightgown; the smart guy finding clues in the library; an excellent pep-talker; the competent hunter; the person who helps the ghost of the young boy find his peace.

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#spn 13x16 #meta #scoobynatural #dean meta

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snicketsleuth · 7 years ago

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Slackin’ with the Sleuth: reviewing Netflix’s “The Ersatz Elevator”

At this point in my review of Netflix's adaptation, I feel like I should clarify something: in spite of everything, I love the show so far. As negative as my observations can be, they also reflect how tricky the original work was to adapt. Some polarizing choices were made, but we have yet to see or watch anything that would make us doubt the dedication and talent of its production team. The writing team has obviously spent sleepless nights trying to understand the point of the books, and the reason for their success.

Most Hollywood adaptations consist in superficial copy-pasting of "memorable" plot points, conglomeration of cliff notes devoid of any themes or commentary, stripped of all depth and substance. Mercifully this was not a case for "A Series of Unfortunate Events". In fact, the directors have repeatedly agreed to transgress unwritten rules of television writing and to push the boundaries of their format in order to deliver a satisfying adaptation. Fans whine, and they snicker, but that's their social function. Criticism hurts the most when it comes from people who know you the best and are actively trying to like you.

"The Austere Academy" was somewhat of a dud, so let's try to begin our analysis with something more positive. I have two questions: what is this second season's greatest accomplishment and why is it Esme Gigi Geniveve Squalor?

The answer, in both cases, actually owes to the books themselves. Watching the final result, it becomes obvious that Esme was actually easier to adapt on screen than Olaf, for one reason and one reason only: Count Olaf is not funny. Yes, you heard me, and it bears repeating: Count Olaf is not "funny". That's a revisionist narrative (to which Daniel Handler sometimes adheres himself). Olaf makes jokes, jokes are made about him, and he has ridiculous moments, but that's true of ANY character in "A Series of Unfortunate Events". He's no more farcical than, say, Justice Strauss or Violet Baudelaire. We'll get back to that in my review of "The Hostile Hospital". Olaf as portrayed by Jim Carrey and Neil Patrick Harris is a perfectly fine character, who works within his setting, but it's essentially a new antagonist. Esme, however? Now that's a laugh riot. Whenever she's not being terrifying, she's being ridiculous and delivers some real gems in terms of ridiculousness. All in all, Esme, throughout the books, was already delivering what the Netflix writers needed and wanted. No adaptation necessary.

That's why Lucy Punch does justice to her book counterpart in a way Neil Patrick Harris and Jim Carrey never could. The fandom's reaction to her casting was, to put it fairly, lukewarm: there had indeed been a strong demand for a big-name actress to play the part. But as much as I dreamed of Lady Gaga embracing the role she was born for (if "American Horror Story: Hotel" is any indication), there is no room for improvement in Lucy Punch's performance. Actually, the casting of a too-well-known actress could have been a distraction: as hard as Neil Patrick Harris works to give Olaf his own personality, it's sometimes difficult not to see Barney Stinson or Doctor Horrible through his facial expressions. He does share an excellent chemistry with Punch, however, and her comical timing is golden. But most impressive, I think, is her ability to give that awful woman some manner of warmth and congeniality in her most despicable lines. Her upper-class flair and superficial, glossy smiles fully sell the viewer on the character. You can fully believe that Esme would thrive and gain popularity in the right circles, and heap praise for being an awful person.

Punch's successes almost outshine the presence of Jerome, which may be the entire point. Tony Hale is genius casting, but thankfully he seems to have toned down his usual persona, focusing more on Jerome's genuine kindness and crippling self-deprecation rather than his gullibility and cowardice. Painting Gunther as a parody of Karl Lagerfeld is also pretty on-the-nose, but it makes for hilarious scenes. One does wonder why Olaf doesn't just spend his entire life as Gunther, though. He seems to be everything Olaf aspires to be. With Esmé to support his career, why not just become a handsome foreigner? It's also noteworthy that the young actors' casting does improve in this episode, particularly in the elevator shaft. Klaus' girlish screaming and Violet's mixture of exasperation and panic as she lands into the net are especially memorable. The Baudelaire orphans are not written as typical teenagers: it's understandable that their stiff, overly intellectual lines are usually delivered in a likewise manner. And therefore, it's in the more comedic moments that Louis Hynes and Malina Weissman feel allowed to come out of their shell.

But enough with the niceties: alas, the subplot regarding the V.F.D. investigators once again rears its ugly head... with terrible pacing. To its credit, this episode attempts to tie in the conspiracy to events directly related to "The Ersatz Elevator" itself, rather than the disposable seasonal arc regarding Olivia. But this is somehow undermined by the outright futility of these distractions: Larry and Jacquelyn force us through an interminable lunch scene, which showcases Neil Patrick Harris' most gratuitous and unnecessary musical number to date. The entire scene is a shameless repetition of the Anxious Clown diversion in "The Wide Window". These long scenes of witty banter, where characters sit at a table and do nothing, are bizarrely reminiscent of Quentin Tarentino's worst indulgences. As pleasant as "Keep chasing your schemes" sounds, it's barely diegetic and mostly serves as a vanity project. It takes the viewers out of the entire experience. We do not see Olaf, but rather Neil being showcased as a singing prop. There is such a thing as Emmy-baiting, after all.

To add insult to injury, the ordeal only exists to justify a "rescue attempt" of the Quagmires by Jacques and Olivia... which is bound to fail as the Baudelaire orphans investigate the scene at the exact same time and find them on their own anyway. What are we supposed to think of this? That Jacques and Olivia peeked into the penthouse, never saw the Baudelaire orphans hard at work, went through a few rooms and climbed down the 667's facade to have a milkshake? I would call them incompetent volunteers, but Jacquelyn and Larry seem to have already taken that crown. I had not anticipated to address my annoyance at this show-only addition so soon, but the fact is that this experiment in narration really struggles to prove its relevance. I had thoroughly enjoyed Jacquelyn's adventures in Season 1, as they streamlined the handling of the Baudelaire will in a more satisfying manner. Here, however, her presence seems to add more plot-holes than it solves.

Baffling choices in direction also continue to elude me: "Dark Avenue" has been renamed "Dim Avenue". Apparently, all it takes to evoke darkness is to dip the pellicle into a sepia filter. An especially egregious example comes to mind as light becomes "in" and the curtains of the penthouse open up, revealing sunlight... except the lighting of the scene doesn't change in the slightest, it was already bright as day! The sets are gorgeous as always, however. The director has successfully conveyed the pomposity and immensity of Jerome's apartment, which suggests a lack of supervision on the director's part: it seems that the directors keep latching onto one aspect of set design they like and tend to forget about the rest. Take the Quagmires, who look positively chipper and clean for people who have supposedly spent days locked into a dusty cage with the same raggedy uniform. I would argue that Duncan and Isadora are so far the worst adapted characters. They're admittedly pretty bland in the books, but the Netflix team has somehow managed to give them even LESS material. The depiction of the trauma they suffered down in the elevator shaft is one of the series' most horrific moments, and another emotional scene from which we were robbed.

The Netflix series also seems to drop the ball on the tantalizing return to the Baudelaire mansion. It's a shocker in the books, but here it's almost an afterthought. Instead of seeing the scene through the Baudelaire orphans, we're first introduced to... Jacques and Olivia flirting. Not nearly as heartbreaking, isn't it? It's about as off-key and off-tone as the episode's music.

And yet it's all fine. And why? Because Daniel Handler wrote this double episode, which proves I'm wrong about all of this. Or maybe he is, who knows? Sometimes a book is so great it escapes his own author. There is not one definitive version of "A Series of Unfortunate Events", but several, each revealing a different facet of an untouchable and intangible diamond. The Netflix version is simply the only one which happens to have been filmed in its entirety.

#0540 #Lemony Snicket #ASoUE #a series of unfortunate events #violet baudelaire #klaus baudelaire #Sunny Baudelaire #count olaf #esme squalor #netflix #asoue netflix #neil patrick harris #lucy punch #tony hale #jerome squalor #review #daniel handler

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