#and that's probably lowballing
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thinking rather intensely about to collision,,,, but not quite to collision as it's written? see, if i really think seriously about the series, i played it really safe.
cue for ppl reading: maybe probably totally unhinged plotting and raving up ahead!
in a world where i thought about this at least two months earlier than right now, hearthfire would--rather than include an accidental time travel arc--be utterly set in the future. no timey whimey bullshit, no /shisui's just this same kid he used to be/. we'd have a shisui who has lived the last nearly two decades in hiding finally returning to konoha.
i wouldn't set this as far in the future if that happened. actually, i'd put it right after the divorce because i LOVE the drama and that's when everyone's relationships are shakiest--it's also a time when kakashi would have more security in his position to provide the most consequential changes to konoha including the ousting of the council--ehm. anyways. in that world, shisui walks right through the gates and secures himself that first meeting with kakashi and just--
and it would be poly kakashixsasukexshisui because i am me and the sheer concept of those three disparate individuals just pingponging into each other despite everything makes my widdle heart sing. just sasuke still not quite coming to grips with his trauma, dissociation and depression, kakashi trying his BEST with it but without that relationship security we have in hearthfire and shisui being SHISUI but older, way more jaded and guiltier too for fucking off out of sasukes life and the war despite being utterly blind to boot???? just rolling around on the floor, the sheer DRAMAAAAAAAA
i don't know if i'll ever put pen to paper, idea to mouth and work this out, but the story beats would be entirely different i think. the concept would just fly right off its hinges. i imagine it would be angstier--way more reckoning, more plot too because an older shisui would insist on involving himself in konoha politics in some way, whether thats taking sasuke out of the village or personally persecuting the council. sakura wouldn't play as much of a role, especially at the beginning because holy shit i would not touch those three with a ten foot pole in her shoes and i don't think she'd have wanted to be around kkss for at least a year after the separation anyways yk?
shisui would also stay blind longer. kakashi and, i think, sasuke wouldn't be as quick to trust him enough with eyeballs if he'd just been in hiding the entire time. i guess naruto and shisui would also get along better cos he'll have gained the time earned patience all uchiha slamdunk into after hitting the end of puberty. and just... yeah idk where i'm going with this i just wanted to scream into the void about the sheer concept of this fjwhsjshshhshsh something about an older shisui moving on from his traitorous dead childhood sweetheart itachi to his old captain and baby brother is so fucking hilarious and knowing me, angsty and i want it on a silver platter...
if only i didn't have to cook it my damn self😭😭😭
#fanfic#hearthfire verse#don't mind me just rambling#about plot#while screeching at myself through the void#gimme the patience and violent lack of shame needed#to WRITE this#i'd estimate a wc of like 70k+ with thisfic concept actually#and that's probably lowballing#no that's definitely lowballing#look i just want my blorbos to kiss each other#can't god grant me the ability to wish a fic into existence?#shisui uchiha#sasuke uchiha#kakashi hatake
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“Average herald withstands 500 years of torture before bringing back the Desolations” actualy just statistical error. Average herald withstands 50 years of torture. Talenel’Georg, who lives on Braize & withstands 4,500 years of torture, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
#stormlight archive#taln#spiders georg#cremposting#i’m probably lowballing the non-taln heralds’ capacity i just gave them enough time for a couple generations to go by and called it good
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Becoming deeply radicalized against the idea of crewed Mars missions, y'know how the Rovers keep sending back better and better data what if instead of that we made an even bigger one and devoted nearly 90% of its capacity to holding a guy in a bubble on top of it instead of sending back useful data, but wait! They'll eliminate like a half hour of latency and also almost certainly contaminate the landing site and possibly the entire planet, so it's not all downside.
#At least in the near term it's fucking pointless and the downsides are very large and very big#Quite frankly it is extraordinarily likely that the first people to arrive at mars will do so dead#Because they will have been sent by fucking idiots willing to take too large risks#But the good news is that the wreck will spread across and contaminate huge amounts of the martian biosphere#To the point that we will quite possibly never be able to discern the history of life on mars#But if they live at least they'll get to slightly reduce the latency on our telerobotic fleet!#And travel home with the samples I guess#Good thing Percy's tagging and bagging rocks that we just canceled the return trips for#At least once we fuck up the rest of the planet those will be sterile#Kinda still excited about Aritimis but also kinda becoming anti-human spaceflight in general#We should consider not doing that for a while and at most focus specifically on living on the moon in a controlled and limited fashion#Ground the whole fucking commercial fleet who gives a shit those capsules are both gonna get someone killed sooner rather than later#And it's not like we're learning a whole lot by having people on hand up there#They spend most of their time trying to keep the machines from falling apart#Which is the main thing people would be doing for three continuous years on the shortest possible mars mission#Like you could send a dozen rovers for the price of one crewed mission both mass and money-wise#And that's probably a lowball estimate even assuming more and more advances in rover technology#Which are happening a lot faster than the advances in life support technology#Right now we do not even have enough functioning space capsules at our low earth orbit space station#Starship HLS is a fucking joke#The whole thing reeks let's just stop sending people into space for a while what were we really getting out of it
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all sold!
#the thing I want most is to sell these quickly. if you make a lowball offer for everything/most of it I'll probably take it.#reblogs are vv appreciated#maccadam#transformers#is there a tag I should be using to avoid annoying people who don't want to see this?#I feel like I'm the only person on earth using tumblr to sell things in 2024 but this is the only social media I use so...
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reviews are coming up for my job and it’s the first time i qualify (i missed last years by a couple months :/) and every time i say how much i get paid my coworkers—even ones in the same position!— go damn 😨 LIKE YEAH I’VE BEEN SAYING!!!!
#i know they lowballed me probably bc i was fresh out of college and a black woman* and therefore easy pickings but i Needed a job.#and i didn’t have any experience negotiating….#despite trying very hard to get a new one i’m still here for now so i need them to pay the hell up#chats
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Hi! What is worm (saw that long post you reblogged and am unbearably curious)
hi!!!! worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial by j. c. mccrae, or wildbow, about, um, superheroes. it's primarily a phenomenal, meticulous deconstruction of pretty much every cape comic trope out there + secondly a 1.7 million word long ultraviolent exploration of trauma and morality! it is one of my favorite novels of all time and also i think one of the best pieces of cape (<- using this as looser shorthand for superhero here because it is primarily about. supervillains! not heroes. well. mostly. it's complicated) media out there. genuinely incredibly written, completely brain-rewiring material even if you're not into comics or shit. i will link this post as better and longer propaganda if u are interested :]
#ANYWAY. IN COMPLETE TRANSPARENCY. my tags on that post r half there because One of the characters in it is a side character who u don't meet#until maybe 40 or 50k words in (lowball estimate) who is dubiously relevant for a couple hundred thousand words after that#and the Other is probably not doing what you'd expect from only the context of that post specifically. but. yeah. thumbs up im always on#that worm propaganda grind!!!!!#asks :)#wildbow
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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I kept see the “Category 5 Autism Event” thing and I was like “That’s cool, but I don’t know what that means” and then I had one this week. I get it now.
#it was sonadow btw. they are my everything.#made an almost 5 hour playlist for them#drew about 10 medium sketchbook pages worth of them#finished three chapters of my fic and the fic as a whole#and also read probably over 50k words of fic#probably closer to 70k or 80k if we’re not lowballing#needless to say. def category 5 autism event.
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Do you take commissions? And if so what are your prices like? I love how you draw Kirby art so much and I’d love to commission you when I’m able to if you do. Thank you for all your wonderful art!
AGJSNCBSKKEN FIRST OF ALL 😭😭 TYSM FOR THE SUPPORT THAT MEANS SO MUCH THAT YOU THINK OF MY ART SO HIGHLY 🙏🙏
commissions! haven't done those since my discord server days, but i believe i did mention in one of my older posts that i would be interested in opening them back up soon!
as i don't have a ko-fi or paypal or anything of the sort for now, my usual payment for commissions would be in DeviantArt points (this is how i used to do them, and this is how i'll do em now 😎)
while this is all very tentative and i have yet to make a proper comm sheet, here are my basic prices for anyone who wants to commission me now!
👇
my link
if you don't have any idea how to transfer the points, i recommend making a burner account on DA and importing the points from paypal or any other source, then transferring them over to me :]
basic DA point conversion rate: 90pts = $1
headshot/bust: 300 pts
halfbody: 500 pts
fullbody: 800 pts
kirby OC: 500 pts
+background: 300 pts
+full rendering (the cooler shading): 400 pts per character
DON'TS:
- proshipping..pls no
- very complex backgrounds/characters (ask if unsure!)
- nsfw and heavy gore
-um. that's it. i will literally do anything else.
---
thanks again for taking interest in commissions! i'm sure when i do officially open comms (maybe in summer?), i'll have this a lot more figured out haha
#am i lowballing? eh probably but in 8th grade i used to take shaded fullbodies for 150 points. that is less than two bucks.#so id say im making at least some better profit#again! this is all tentative! i have no clue what im doing!#but this is for those who want the ultra coolest quality art and not a simple doodle like in my requests#dm if interested :]] tbh im not expecting many people to bite but for the two (2) ppl who are interested here are my prices :D#ask#commission prices#veves ultra cool art#kirby series
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kama is so cool when you ignore a solid 75% of their fans
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when the museum has 17 free digital exhibits and a free online database with over 100,000 entries
#apparently their collection of letters alone totals 300000 but not all of it is digitized yet#i'm so happy i have this to refer to! and it's free! i don't even have to pay or travel if i want access to a lot of it!!#also the 100000 number is def a lowball. they don't have a total number & the categorization has some overlap so it's not easy to ballpark#when they categorize it by both item type item content and one individual collection. it's probably at least 150000 tbh#len speaks
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every time someone i follow reblogs something where the punchline is "look at how CRINGE and PURITAN these random asexual people are" i just silently lose about 20% respect for them and continue about my day
#20% is probably lowballing it tbh#like man cmon it's 2024. 'look at these ANTI-SEX losers making a post by a GAY person into queerplatonic NONSENSE'#go back to ace discourse.
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the fact that I was looking into starting on t and was also tentatively looking into getting my own car since all 4 of us now share 1 vehicle. and now I can’t even think about saving up money at all. fucking sucks
#I’m so angry. I’m so angry and upset. I already was angry and upset#but now it feels more tangible because of how deep this hole is that I was never made aware of#and just how Long it’s been going on. like#I honestly felt really guilty that a big chunk of it was bc of my tuition. but knowing this has been an issue for like at least 10 years is#like. ok. so it’s not bc of me. I probably didn’t help. but also I’ve given my parents like#idk I’d have to actually add it up but. I’ve probably given them at least $50k in the last 3 years. and that’s lowballing#i say things
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Looking at spider info for Spidey and the wiki says he has super jumping. Not just as a result of super strength/speed/agility, but as its own thing. Understandable since apparently jumping spiders make up the largest percentage of spider species!
Apparently they can jump up to 50x their own length. For Spidey that's 100 metres!! But the hilarious part is they manage to do that at such speeds by literally SHOVING THEIR BLOOD INTO THEIR LEGS for maximum thrust. And in humans that kind of rapid change causes momentary sight loss and dizziness.
Forget web slinging and aggressive reflexes, whenever someone startles Peter he blacks out and wakes up five streets over.
#Lowballing the streets tbh the average house is 16m long you could probably fit seven if he was by an open window XD#This happens at the speed of LIGHT. Watch any video of a jumping spider and those guys practically teleport in low resolution#Flash probably thinks he's an invisibility meta#spiderman#spidey#peter parker#Marvel#spider man#miles morales#This would also happen to him lol#Oh btw Spidey has super speed. Like that's a thing. Besides the reflexes he can cruise a steady 200mph on foot#Between that and the jumping he can probably get across the longest point of nyc (35 miles) in less than SIX MINUTES#I assume if you've ever tried to travel in nyc that is a HUGE deal#i love numbers#Gonna add my#character analysis#Tag because I know I'm coming back to this later#Also#Fandom maths
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Pro tip: use the ao3 bookmarking system correctly from the beginning, because if you don't, you will spend over a week going through your actual bullshit sorting system you invented wholesale, make like twenty fic rec posts, and drive your followers to homicide from spamming their dashes
#mads posts#i say a week#this is probably a lowball number#considering im only two fandoms in out of#*checks discord*#ELEVEN dear god#most of them are smaller#not all of them im going to make rec lists for#for my own sake#but still. jesus christ
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Toffee character analysis
Showing vs telling
You've maybe noticed that Toffee is one of my favorite characters in svfoe but if you're not following me on twitter you probably haven't seen my hot takes on how he's a sliver of excellence in a show that consistently fails itself. Recently I decided to do a little analysis comparing what we’re told about him as a whole as opposed his actual on screen actions
I love svfoe, I swear, I just enjoy tearing it to shreds from time to time
A big part of Toffee's appeal to me is how little the show actually told us about him, it leaves me plenty of room to dive in and figure him out for my own purposes. We aren't left with absolutely nothing to work with due to extended materials and AMAs dipping a little into his backstory here and there so there's a little structure to use as guidelines.
But the thing is, Svfoe has a pretty noticeable problem with telling vs showing which amounts to many of the problems that I have with the series and why I enjoy ripping it apart occasionally. This telling vs showing problem usually presents itself traditionally with things being told to the audience instead of shown ex: practically every episode has Star declaring Marco is her best friend, but very rarely was it just shown without an accompanying verbal declaration (pssst this pattern continues with their 'love' too which is why I couldn't get behind Starco, but I won't get into that here). With Toffee it's a little different, because the problem is that what we're told about him in the extended materials doesn't actually reflect what we're shown about him on screen in the series proper.
Let's start with those extended materials and AMAs; aka what we're told about Toffee.
It's not much.
Septarians as a species are described as long lived creatures who hold the grudges of their forefathers as if they are their own. I suppose this is trying say that they hold grudges and it's bad that they can't let things go but actually there's a lot of cultures in both reality and fiction that are honor based societies so this actually makes a lot of sense to me.
The Magic Book of Spells introduces a book exclusive character, a Septarian named Seth, who is described by multiple queens as hostile, an advocate for Genocide against Mewmans and Septarian supremacy. As bad as this sounds, I'm going to go out on a limb and postulate that since we know by the end of the series that the monsters were victims and Mewmans have been in the wrong for generations, that this information may be exaggerated. Since Seth never appears in the show or other materials we only have the Book of Spells to go by and...Yeah, I don’t really trust a word most of them have to say about him to be honest.
The only narrator that we can consider reliable being Eclipsa, who got her information about from Globor, another monster who has had dealings with Seth and other Septarians in the past. Also worth noting is that Eclipsa's queenship followed her mother's and whom know Solaria was attempting active genocide against all monster kind- which was at least the second one in history since Mewman arrived...so I can't really say I think Seth and the Septarians be entirely in the wrong if they were still upset about that.
Seth is mentioned a few prominent times in the book, since this analysis is about Toffee I won't go into detail but tl;dr Seth has been personally screwed over enough times by the Butterfly family that it shouldn't be surprising at all that he didn't answer Comet's invitation to her peace banquet
As a side note: Comet herself is incredibly dismissive and insulting toward Seth in her chapter and it makes it very difficult for me to sympathize with her, or feel bad about her death- sorry, Moon.
So long story short, Seth is a big deal. It not directly said that Toffee had any sort of relationship to Seth but Comet implies in her chapter that Seth's ideals were inspiring to Septarian youths which hints that Toffee killing Comet was influenced by him if not directly ordered.
Toffee is also described as being a "Magneto like character" by the series creator, someone who "isn't wrong, but going about things the wrong way", and comments that he researched the Butterfly family like no one had before and used his powers for evil. According to the same AMA, Toffee has been learning about magic for a long time and was wearing the skulls of members of the Butterfly court that he killed. We’re also told by third party bit characters that Toffee killed Queen Comet the day she was supposed to sign the peace treaty, but Toffee himself never mentions anything about it, which I find odd, as big a deal as regicide you’d think he’d gloat about it at least once.
All in all, what we're told about Toffee paints the picture of psychotic terrorist following in the footsteps of a genocidal maniac, who won't hesitate to kill innocent people and doesn’t care who he has to step on in order to achieve his goals.
This now brings us to the series and once again hoo boy, looking at nothing but Toffee's actions against the series as whole bearing in mind revelations from the later seasons really casts him in a different light.
The first onscreen victim of Toffee's machinations is Buff Frog, who is immediately suspicious of Toffee for...no real reason other than the plot needed him to. I've watched Fortune Cookies many times and still can't come up with a legitimate reason why Buff Frog is suspicious of Toffee right off the bat. It makes sense later (as much sense as can be expected from a kids cartoon, anyway) that Buff Frog would be threatened by and suspicious of Toffee when he has a spy drone take Buff Frog's place, but not in his introductory episode after knowing him for five seconds.
For his part, Toffee doesn't seem to have a problem with Buff Frog until Mewnipendence day. Granted, this is the first episode since his debut that Toffee actually appears so it's hard to judge what their relationship is like outside of these two appearances since Toffee orchestrates Buff Frog's dismissal in this episode. One thing we have to go on is Buff Frog's frankly a little paranoid sounding theory that Toffee full on replaced him with an electronic spy unit and will do the same to everyone.
Toffee catches him at it but shrugs it off and shows him no animosity until Buff Frog volunteers to get the wand for Ludo. Since the equipment was obviously sabotaged to make Buff Frog look bad in order to manipulate Ludo into getting rid of him, it was definitely a premeditated move on Toffee’s part, down to predicting that Buff Frog would volunteer. This all sounds pretty bad, but given the fact that Buff Frog was entirely wrong about Toffee's intentions I don't really see why it was necessary beyond Toffee just quietly getting rid of a small annoyance to him.
And I feel like I should to remind everyone that Ludo punishes his minions the same way his own abusive father probably punished him (re: sending them to their rooms taking away milkshake privileges ect), which has been completely ineffective until this point. Seeing as Toffee’s official position that he was, you know, hired and presumably being paid for is "evil efficiency expert" with the description that he whip the other monsters into shape. Set up aside, this technically is exactly what Toffee's job is to do and encouraging Ludo to fire Buff Frog is a perfectly reasonable course of action.
The next victim is Ludo himself and I actually hesitate to call him a victim, because getting kicked out of his own castle was Ludo's comeuppance for his own terrible leadership and abusive tendencies. Ludo being abused by his family does not excuse his abuse of others, and throughout Marco Grows a Beard, Toffee does very little besides direct and observe, stepping in once (and possibly more that was off screen) to offer water to one of the monsters while Ludo's orders and actions failed across the board putting all of them in jeopardy and ultimately botching their best chance at obtaining the wand. Once they returned to the castle, Toffee rightfully points out that the day's failure was on Ludo, not the other monsters and successfully turned his, uh, "army" on him with next to no effort because Ludo is in fact guilty on all charges.
Which brings me back to Buff Frog, considering how fast Buff Frog was to join forces with Star over Ludo a few episodes later...I'm going to go ahead and say that there was really no point in Toffee getting him fired. Buff Frog's loyalty swayed just like everyone else's and Toffee probably could have just waited for him to reach a breaking point and didn't, but ultimately I'm going to pin this on a poor writing decision than a lack of foresight by Toffee.
In Season one's finale, Toffee has Marco captured and held for ransom. And...yeah I kinda feel like this doesn't count as something too horrible since Toffee’s plan holding Marco captive and even threatening him with the crystal crushing was counting on the fact the he already knew that Star wouldn't let anything happen to Marco. It's a manipulation tactic that was the most efficient way if getting what he wanted, which was not ownership of the wand but the wand's destruction. Star has other friends and Marco's parents or even her own parents that could be used against her, but Toffee targeted one that he knows for sure she will trade the wand for.
But before moving onto his actions in season 2, there's more to analyze about Toffee's behaviors during Storm the Castle. The first thing of note is that Toffee treats Marco quite well while holding him prisoner, being quite civil and offering him food, and even releasing him so Marco could take a swing at him. However, Toffee doesn't fight back in this scene merely sidesteps (I guess) and forces Marco back into his chair without restraining him again, which suggests to me that Toffee isn't the one who put him in restraints to begin with since he's clearly not worried about Marco escaping or anything of the sort.
The fact that Toffee doesn't actually fight Marco, and has not been involved any of the battles since his debut gets more interesting when we find out he was a soldier and likely has been for much of his life.
In regards to his treatment of the other monsters, we don't see Toffee really interact with any of them besides Boo-fly whom he seemed to have a decent relationship with previously. I've seen people say that he praises Boo-fly and treats him well until they kick Ludo out and suddenly treats him like dirt once he's gotten what he wants, but I'd like to point out that Boo-fly keeps trying to pamper Toffee like he would have Ludo and Toffee makes it explicitly clear that they've already discussed that he doesn't want to be treated like Ludo so I chalk this up to a breach of personal boundaries rather than an example of Toffee’s manipulative nature.
This brings us to Star and Toffee's initial encounter. Toffee at first tries to be polite to her as he was with with Marco but was immediately blasted without even finishing his greeting. Toffee's plan seems to have actually been to try to her talk first with Marco as a mere bargaining chip, and threatening to harm Marco was his back up plan. Once again, this is hinging on the fact that he knows Star would trade the wand to him for his safety.
One last thing is that in retrospect we know Toffee's endgame is the destruction of Magic and his study of the wand means he likely knows that using the Whispering Spell was his way into the Realm of Magic. The last thing we see of Toffee in Season One is him telling the other monsters "It's been a pleasure-" before the Wand self destructs, so while I'm confident that Toffee knew he could get into the realm of Magic and was dismissing his "comrades" to carrying out the rest of his mission alone, I'm pretty sure he wasn't anticipating the wand would explode and endanger everyone.
Toffee doesn’t have an active in person presence in most of Season two, the clever viewer probably noticed right away that the bones making up Ludo’s wand and can infer that the voice speaking to Ludo through it is Toffee manipulating him once again. However, if someone were to start watching season 2 without the context of season one, the manipulation element gets lost and most of Ludo’s actions are exclusively his own, meaning that once again the things that happen to Ludo are a direct consequence of his own choices. Later when Toffee possesses him and speaks with Glossaryck, Toffee confirms that there he has a goal which he has been trying to lead Ludo toward with little success, but it’s pretty unclear what that goal ultimately is.
When Moon and the Magic High Commission arrive at the Monster Temple we see a first for the series: Toffee in active combat. Upon first viewing, with no context it’s a simple show down of Good (MHC) vs Evil (Toffee) in which we the audience are supposed to root for Moon and her team and feel a sense of helpless when they lose by a great landslide. However, once the series concludes and we know that the MHC were the final villains, suddenly the situation is swapped- Toffee is suddenly a martyr who was the first to stand up against the true villains of the series.
Even Star’s own revelation that “Toffee was right” and decision to destroy magic herself falls short in comparison to Toffee’s original plan. Star- due to time constraints most likely but still a failing of the show’s final season- comes to her decision pretty suddenly with no consideration of the consequences of her actions beyond not being able to see Marco. Toffee’s plan was clearly years in the making, with plenty of time to weigh his options and consequences. And somehow, the way Toffee pulled off his plan to destroy magic did not result in the instantaneous death of all magical beings, their magic was simply slowly rendered useless, and they were put into stasis (not killed) by Toffee himself absorbing their magic.
Quick tangent Glossaryck himself is totally fine with his own death when Star meets him in the afterlife later and flat out says that stopping Toffee was ‘probably a mistake’ in later seasons. Glossaryck more or less confirms that he has been anticipating and even helping facilitate the end of magic for some time, and by saying that stopping Toffee was a mistake, he is admitting that it was his preference that Toffee be responsible- perhaps in attempt to spare us from Seasons 3 and 4.
Back on track- the Toffee situation becomes more muddy with the reveal that Toffee killed Moon’s mother; a devastating revelation for the show and the MoonToffee shippers, but ultimately something of a disappointment when all the build up leads to is two minute encounter, in which Moon, for some reason, decides not to kill Toffee with her Darkest Spell and instead just takes off his finger. I say for some reason because in the Magic Book of Spells and later in the series Moon claims she did it so that Eclipsa wouldn’t be freed for fear of her “evil”, but earlier in this same episode right after talking to Eclipsa, Moon herself said “She doesn’t seem that evil”. I feel like we missed a scene somewhere, but I digress.
Anyway the death of Moon’s mother is painted like it’s a sad thing, especially since she was about to sign a peace treaty with the monsters and this rebel Lizard just ruined every thing for everyone but there’s two things I can’t get over 1) again...Comet was really dismissive and insulting toward Seth so no wonder he wanted her dead 2) Archduke Batwin knew that one of his Generals, a Septarian nonetheless, took off with half his army and apparently decided that wasn’t anything to worry about.
Like, of course, I still feel really bad for Moon here, but REALLY?
Also, we only have Batwin’s word that Toffee was the one who did it, but Toffee himself never claims responsibility and doesn’t ever hold Comet’s murder over Moon so I can’t help wondering it this was even true. Pics or it didn’t happen.
Going back to Toffee and his actions in the present. Toffee doesn’t spend a lot of time actively possessing Ludo, as far as we see he only does so in order to communicate, first with Glossaryck and later Moon he doesn’t even come out to talk to River or Star. He communicates to Ludo through the wand, and I shake my head at Ludo for somehow being surprised that it’s Toffee talking to him, like buddy...How did you not know??? Once again, Ludo’s actions are mostly his own, we don’t know how much influence Toffee actually has over him during this point because we can’t hear what the wand is telling Ludo. Throwing the Spellbook into the fire was “All Ludo” so likewise, ‘levitato-ing’ River and all the peasants that defied him was likely all Ludo too, considering how little interest Toffee’s had in hurting anyone up to this point.
Finally we’re here at the final show down. Toffee’s endgame is still unclear to the heroes, as well as any first time viewers, but Star sets out to stop him (beep beep, this is the future calling to once again remind us that Glossaryck says this was a mistake). I can buy that Toffee is smarter than the average monster, he may even be smarter than the average Septarian, but to suggest that Toffee anticipated every move made by every character in the series and manipulated event to go perfectly to adhere to a plan that ends with Star trapped in the realm of magic with no escape is going a little far.
From observation of his previous actions and behaviors, Toffee’s probably spent weeks trying to get Ludo to do what he wants him to, but we still don’t have verbal confirmation of what that was, and be left shaking his head at Ludo’s stupidity. Star figuring out that he’s in the wands and following him in was also likely not part of his plan, but her doing so presented him with a great opportunity; a bargaining chip for his missing finger. Now, it’s never made clear whether Toffee actually needs his finger back to return to the real world or if he just wanted it. From a story telling perspective based on the rules we have seen about Septarian regeneration, there’s really no reason that Toffee would have needed his finger, seeing as he already regenerated his arm around the wand earlier, resulting in Ludo’s wand becoming embedded in his arm, if seems like this was just a matter of his pride.
But there’s no evidence that suggests that he was actually capable of bringing Star with him when he did, since he regenerated around Ludo and had to actually spit the poor birb out. How could Star have come back in that regard? Toffee was probably bluffing and straight up lying about being able to bring Star with him- leaving her behind and getting his finger back serves nicely for revenge for having his finger blasted off to begin with. Further more, once this is all done, Toffee has the perfect opportunity to kill Moon himself, but instead walks away.
Even when Moon chases and attacks him, Toffee does nothing but deflect her attacks and refused to engage her in combat, not even when she tries to cast the death spell on him again. He does react violently to Marco punching a hole in his chest, but once again with Moon all he does is incapacitate her and walk away. As far as he is concerned, they’re done.
Then Star revives herself and the show’s best story line comes to a rather disappointing end.
So in recap: what the series actually shows us of Toffee suggests that he’s a largely non violent man who uses it as a last resort and only against those who actually pose a threat to him, never on defenseless people and even when attacked first his main tactic is to disarm or incapacitate and arguably seems to go out of his way to try to hurt as few people as possible.
The people he does actually hurt are usually- with a few exceptions- guilty of some crime and even then Toffee mostly just waits for Karma to come back and bite them in the ass while taking advantage of the opportunities presented by his tolerance for idiots.
Unlike the heroes, Toffee is consistently shown to thoroughly think things through, and attempt to talk to his enemies as his first engagement with them. To be honest, his calm and polite nature actually makes him a much better role model than the impulsive and violence prone leads who barge into situations and very often lie or cover up certain truths from their families for the sole purpose of not spoiling their own fun.
The only time Toffee was actively violent on screen was against the MHC who turned out to be villains anyway. Even during the war, Daron Nefcy claims the skulls he wears came from the Butterfly court, not soldiers or civilians, so likely corrupt government officials directly benefiting from the suffering of Monsters and lower class Mewmans. We can even argue that Comet wasn’t the saint she was originally painted as considering how she speaks of and dismisses Seth and the rightful distrust he has of her and her intentions.
Through his on screen actions, we also see that Toffee is a martyr, he might be willing to step on a few people to get where he wants to be, but not everyone is expendable to him and when it comes down to it, Toffee does the dirty work of tainting the realm of magic himself rather than sacrificing anyone else to it, most likely due to his regenerative abilities assuring that he can come back while others he can’t guarantee.
There is one scene where Toffee actually acts like the violent psychopath he’s described as; and that’s in Meteora’s Lesson, in which...He’s a moody teenager that Glossaryck deliberately provoked with the intent of 'teaching him a lesson’ by way of causing him physical harm. Yikes Glossaryck, yikes
In conclusion; Toffee is definitely one of those ‘the hero of his own story’ type of villains, and arguably a better one than the heroes we’re supposed be rooting for.
#not shippy stuff#Toffee character analysis#long post#I thought about talking about this on twitter and decided it'd be better off on tumbr#because it'd be like 50 tweets#but I probably lowballed that estimate quite a bit this is very long#I love this fucking lizard
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