#and that's not necessarily true.
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i will never understand when people act like zutara shippers are reaching when we say the crystal catacombs scene is intensely romantically coded because like... ignoring literally all other context (which does have other hallmarks of romantic coding, but literally pretend you don't know anything about the show or scene for a second)... what would you think happened in this picture?
would it .... would it maybe be an interrupted almost-kiss
#zutara#even ignoring all other context (such as katara gently touching his scar with her THUMB on his LIPS?? the soft glowy lighting and the music#look at that moment outside of the context and tell me that's not what you would think#i think part of the sentiment comes from people thinking romance coding inherently means the two characters are written as canonically#having feelings for each other#and that's not necessarily true.#it's about the narrative framework the dynamic is presented in consistently using tropes and imagery that are commonly used in romance#stories#atla#zuko#katara#anyway. i am so normal about this#the crossroads of destiny#i was gonna wait to post until i got here in my rewatch but. i changed my mind
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Up until this moment, they weren't quite sure Narinder could purr....
(greyscale, sunset, w/out speech bubbles, and pencil sketch versions under the cut so that this post isn't hella long lol)
The greyscale one is just to check my values (which arguably aren't great lol) but hey I'm posting it anyways
I liked the sunset version but not quite as much as the daylight version, which was kinda weird cuz I expected to like the sunset one more, but regardless it's still good enough that I wanted to share :P
Also I was super happy with the pencil sketch lol
Anyways. May good things happen for you lovelies today and pls enjoy this silly doodle :D
#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#narilamb#cotl narilamb#ive been noticing that i have to traditionally sketch to have a good finished illustration?? its not necessarily true of everything but#i find that for the most part i can draw better poses when i start on paper with pencil. idk why??? but im not gonna argue lol#im down for that tho i love sketchbook sketching its so much fun#but anyways thats a heck of a tangeant thats completely unrelated to this doodle. so enjoy this doodle :D
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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anyways
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc fanart#tadc pomni#pomni#tadc gangle#gangle#ragatha#tadc ragatha#pomni fanart#gangle fanart#ragatha fanart#digital yuri#(?)#im tagging it bc while I don’t necessarily ship gangle n ragatha myself the pairing IS super cute. godspeed to all who do ship it#esp to those who ship gangle pomni AND ragatha all together at the same time. true yuri warriors.#buttonblossom#jesterdoll#ragapom#scaredylovers#jesteribbon#belledribbons#raggedribbons#i can’t remember the ship name for gangle n ragatha lol#anyways SET FORTH MY YURI WARRIORS#my art
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Imogen: So, how do you know that Predathos won't hurt the rest of us? Like, where is this information coming from? Is that what Predathos told you? Did you talk to Predathos and that's what it told you?
Ludinus: I did talk to Predathos, and it said that it won't eat us.
Imogen:
#more seriously: MRDA is actually really great to pull here bc it's not necessarily about the objective truth of the matter#but rather about dismissing someone as being too self-interested in the denial for their statement to be worth consideration#it could be true! it could be VERY true Predathos won't eat anyone else but the thing is that when our source is “Predathos said”#well Predathos WOULD wouldn't it?#CR spoilers#Critical Role things#Critical Role
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DAY 104(124): funny headcanon
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#siffrin isat#isat spoilers#funny ass post to tag spoilers#ummm anyways can you guess why i almost didnt post today. can you guess. can you sleuth out the reason#(falls over and shatters into glass)#i dont consider this headcanon as necessarily true however i like it a lot#largely i think it's really funny if loop has to deal with shit like period cramps despite not having a uterus#get fucked
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say sike right now, she's actually going back to The Doctor Pepper Show-
Like, this is just "What if The Doctor Pepper Show and LO had a baby?" Because at this point it's very clear Rachel only knows how to write from inside her own head, which is full of unresolved salt towards her childhood and medical fetish shit. The imagery in the first panel is very LO, and the imagery in the second is literally The Doctor Foxglove Show-
Evidently she's been reskinning the same shit for years-
Listen, I've been, for the most part, keeping my lips sealed on a lot of Rachel's old projects and what I've dug up on her previous works, for a few reasons:
1.) We were all cringe on the Internet at some point in time and a lot of these older works, such as Freak Scene Surgery and The Doctor Pepper Show, would have been from when she was in her late teens / early 20's. I'm not here to judge Rachel's personal preferences or whatever kind of fetishes she's into. It's totally normal, expected even, for a lot of creators to have older works they're trying to bury or disconnect themselves from because it's simply not them anymore.
2.) Ultimately I've been focused on discussion around Lore Olympus and Rachel as she currently operates as a creator, so I don't want to go digging up her old skeletons as any sort of "gotcha" towards LO today. Ultimately a lot of these works don't have anything to really 'do' with LO as it exists today.
That said, the reason I'm bringing it up now is because these new series... are bridging that gap that I've been avoiding for ages now. The gap that's filled with skeletons of Rachel's past that she's trying to both disconnect herself from but now fall back on with LO come and gone. It almost goes to show that her being a one-note pony goes back since far before LO - these are literally the only ideas she's able to come up with at this point, and it's painfully obvious in how both these new "graphic novel pitches" are pretty much the exact same and could apply to the same character, and that character may as well just be Persephone, i.e. Rachel, all over again.
Like, I'm calling it now, Patients in the Dark is just gonna be more "moms are bad" rhetoric, and Eleanor's Deathbed is gonna be Hades and Persephone, but replace Hades with some death god and Persephone with a training mortician, which is basically also still just Foxglove training to be a doctor, and Icy Shaw bragging about fondling corpses.
If anything, now that Webtoons is no longer carrying her around on their shoulders, this is gonna be Rachel's moment of "put up or shut up". She can either actually put in an active effort to write something that's decent, or she can flounder under the weight of her own tired mediocrity that's been knocking at her door for years now. As much as she's using her labels that were bought for her to sell these books which aren't even in real development yet-
-Webtoons isn't gonna be there to buy her Eisners forever. This is entirely on her and the imprint that Webtoons shoved her into. Her process is still the same, she's learned nothing from the experience of making LO, she's just got the money and awards now and is trying to run with it, but all she has are the same tired pitch lines that she's been using for decades now and just so happened to work with LO because LO had both Webtoons and the appeal of it being a Greek myth "retelling" to carry it into fame.
I'm gonna go into a bit of a tangent here, but it's been weighing on my mind since I found out this news and have been discussing it with pals within the ULO circle. Rachel once said in an interview that she wanted to use her platform to raise awareness of issues regarding sexual assault, mental health, and "the patriarchy":
"Who do you know that hasn’t been sexually assaulted? The number is depressingly low, right? Why is that? There is no short answer or an easy fix. I have a platform. I can tell a story that will hopefully educate and help others feel acknowledged and vindicated." - Rachel Smythe, Interview with Gossamer Rainbow
"...obviously I'm very feminist, and that sort of stuff really matters to me, um, the best way to approach this question is… I began, the pilot was written in sort of mid-2017, and I think what I wanted, what I wanted to achieve, and I don't even know… probably in 5 years time I don't know how I'm going to feel about this but I'm taking the risk, I really wanted to write a story where, uh…this female character goes through these things and I think what I wanted to do, what I wanted to achieve, was like a really common, I can't speak for like, men, but I can definitely speak for like, you know, if you're sitting in a group of your female friends and you're like "Hey! Who's been sexually assaulted?" … The response is going to be really depressing… Most female people that you know have probably experienced sexual assault to, on one level or another, and I'm like, for me I'm like "Why is that? Why?" And is it because there is a lack of information, lack of education, like what is it? And I'm lucky enough to have a platform and I'm like, if I could just provide some information in story format, would that help? Is this what I can contribute? So I feel like, especially, when writing sexual assault in media often it's… it's a way for the main male character to be, like, uplifted to hero-ness by, usually like, violence is the way to fix the problem, and that's not the approach that I want to take… um, I think [sighs], oh god, sorry I've lost my train of thought, [sighs], yeah, I think a lot of the time in movies when they, like, show rapists or something it's generally someone who's jumped out from behind the tree at a lady in a park and it's not really how it is like 90% of the time [laughs], so I just wanted to make something realistic where people could at it and be, like, "hey, nagging someone into sex isn't cool" or like removing all of their opportunities to say no isn't cool, or for someone to look at it, and just like feel validation, this is me trying, trying my best to make a difference with the platform that I have, and yeah, this is my roundabout answer for it" - Rachel Smythe, Interview with The Comic Source
And yet not once has Rachel actually used her platform for good outside of herself. She just asks the question, "Sexual assault?" and then writes off the answer "yes, it's bad!" and it especially shows in LO where the resolution to the one plotline she kept around to draw in readers was "assaulters are sent to the timeout corner!" Sure, it works for the readers who are simply seeking validation that their experiences aren't unique to themselves, but is it actually doing any real work to talk about the systems in place that leads to people like Apollo being created? Is it doing anything to address purity culture as it exists and the double standards that exist for women who are navigating sexual relationships? Is it doing anything to take the discussion outside of the narrative and put it into action through support of women's shelters, charities, mental health support for men, etc.? Not really. Like many of Rachel's ideas throughout LO, she simply goes, "Men, amirite?" and the answer is "yeah men suck!" and nothing more. The answer to the entire SA plotline is "rape is bad, don't do it" when anyone who could even relate to that conclusion in the first place already knows that.
Ultimately the activism she claims she's trying to do doesn't actually service the issue at hand - it just services herself and her own insecurities, her own unresolved trauma, her own need for validation through Eisners and merch sales. She asks the question, "Who hasn't been assaulted?" so that when she responds to the women who come forward and relate to Persephone, it's with the intent of getting them to read LO and buy her merchandise. She winds up making herself the center of other people's experiences, even ones that she cannot relate to. At BEST her attempts to "use her platform" as a means of starting discussion around ongoing societal issues like the patriarchy and sexual assault towards women is about as effective as Bell #LetsTalk, it's purely performative, self-profiting, and offers nothing of real tangibility.
If she just wants to write her own self-empowering personal works, that would be fine. Plenty of creators do it. Art is, at its core, self-expression. But it's extremely telling that she's built a platform off her self-expression, and twisted it into what she believes to be "activism" and "feminism", so that she can continue to profit off it in her future works such as this, which, again, are just reskins of her previous projects which were largely centered around the fetishizing of abuse towards women.
I don't want to claim that this is what it is, but... how much of the "feminism" in LO is done purely through the lens of victimizing women? Why is there more effort put into torturing female characters like Hera, and Demeter, and Minthe, and even Persephone to a certain degree, than there is into actually addressing the larger issue that she's claiming she wants to shed light on and resolving her questions with actionable answers?
That is the only question I will leave you all with. I am absolutely 100% not planning on touching these works with a ten foot pole, even if they should come to fruition. With the recent realization that she was into artists like Trevor Brown, alongside the fact that we've known for a long time she's into Lolita and there are very clear parallels to draw between it and LO, I think it's safe to say at this point that Rachel's work is not something I want to continue to support even when it's "hate reading". Again, I'm not going to outright accuse her of anything, but I feel like the writing is clearly on the wall here and I'm taking that writing as my warning to steer clear.
I didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room - her older works as they exist in the distant past of the early 2000's - but she's now riding the elephant.
#there's STILL some stuff I could say regarding her older work that i just don't want to get into because#i feel like it would still be way too much and open way too many cans of worms with her#in a way that gets way too deeply personal and none of our business#but seeing these two new series and how they echo her older works and the things she was doing back then#it's just proof she left it behind not because she outgrew it#but because she's trying to get better at hiding it#it all feels very uhh co-opted if you know what i'm saying#not saying that's necessarily true but the vibes i'm getting off this are NOT good.#lore olympus critical#lo critical#anti lore olympus
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more naruto because im normal.
#suigetsu hozuki#sasuke uchiha#juugo#karin uzumaki#naruto uzumaki#ino yamanaka#sakura haruno#naruto#naruto shippuuden#suisasu#juusasu#inosaku#well what evar. migrating these off of my drawing page before i start a new one. ill draw a naruto picture... and then ill post it#hi. for some reason i'm portraying myself as a sasusui warrior here and previously. which is not necessarily true but is kind of true.#my art
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oh here’s another question i have
optional for extra credit: add where you’re from and if this is the norm there?
#i am so interested . in worldwide customs#again i’m from hawaii so yes#but when i was a kid i was told that everyone on the continent keeps their shoes on in the house#but when i got there . that wasn’t necessarily true. curious
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But its also, you know, as much as i rag and complain and make fun of them, Troj and Spart were both highly anticipated dogs. I waited several years for each of them. There is nothing either of them could do or be that would disappoint or make me care for them any less. They're my dogs, anything else is just a bonus.
#i think some of the stuff with sparta is just that#if i died tomorrow troj couldve gone on to a new home and been perfectly happy. been a perfect dog for someone else#and they would love her just as much as i love her. she wouldve made them just as happy as she makes me#shes that kind of dog#i'm not sure the same is true for sparta#sparta is something else.#not necessarily in a good way. but sparty and i? we're good
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Get sassed in front of your whole family idiot
Having a pretty rough week so here's some low effort art but I still find it funny
#I came across this song again and immediately thought of them#well that's not entirely true#I thought of Kallamar first#but I can't necessarily imagine Lamb calling him hot lol#as much as I wanted them to tell Kallamar to grow a pair#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb art#cult of the lamb narinder#cult of the lamb bishops#digital art#my art
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i'm having trouble forming this thought into words but there's something about melinoë being raised the way that she was and being taught to think the way that she does to the point of not being able to think any other way. it's not naivety and it very much reminds me of how prejudices get passed from parent to child. i keep seeing these statements coming from the olympians saying that the old golden age was a farce and that chronos is manipulating the humans into following him (note that we don't have any living human perspective on what's happening, so we don't really know how far chronos' reach has spread. all we have to go on is what's happening in the realms of the gods and in ephyra). it's all being perpetuated by gods that melinoë has been raised to trust and believe in. i think she could be nearing a tipping point as the plot progresses, though. like i said, i don't think there's necessarily a "good" or "bad" side here, only the side that melinoë/the player is on and the side that chronos is on (plus many of the NPCs that we meet who are generally uninvolved in the whole mess). but there's also a lot that we're missing simply because melinoë is unaware of it.
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#just because we play as the protagonist doesn't necessarily mean that she's on the good side and that chronos' side is the bad one#however i also don't think the inverse is true where melinoë is on the bad side and chronos' side is the good side#it's FAR too nuanced to label one side as good and the other as bad. that's the whole point i think#i don't think melinoë is naive per se. i just think that there are things she's unaware of#and there are things she doesn't want to admit#she grew up sheltered and not by the fault of anyone but the one who was hunting her (which was chronos)#(there's a bit of dialogue where chronos is asking hades where his daughter is.)#(it's heard after mel dies some time. i think specifically after a chronos fight or in tartarus somewhere but i may be wrong)#(idk if that was supposed to be recent like during the events of the game or if it was meant to be around the time chronos invaded the house#like i don't think it was hecate's fault in raising melinoë that she grew up sheltered. that was a necessity for mel's safety#but i don't think we can leave the effects that had on melinoë's character out of the conversation#also this thought came to me in a vision (watching tlou2 gameplay and comparing ellie to melinoë)
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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Bit the bullet and did the power-hungry ending on my exploratory playthrough to get it over with. I always love my boy, but he does very much turn into a bastard. Wrote this very quickly as a quick exercise because I hated that I had no dialogue that felt right. Anyway, enjoy the trash. Nothing explicit happens but a lot of dubious, awful shit is implied so please read at your own risk. Spoilers, obviously.
“And of course, I couldn’t have accomplished all this without you, and one wicked turn deserves another,” His eyes flash crimson beneath his pale lashes, glowing ominously in the firelight. “So tell me, my love, what is it that you desire?”
He expects her glossy elevator eyes and a seductive smile. For her to reach for him with her soft, little hands and pull him close, aching to feel him– to taste him in all of his newfound resplendent glory. To offer her neck in submission, pleading for him to change her, to become like him, to sit at his side eternally as he rules from his throne on high as his most beloved spawn. His first and most revered creature of the night. His queen.
But she doesn’t.
Her brows furrow, the corner of her lips tugging inward as she purses them. It’s not the reaction he was expecting, to say the least. He frowns as he inspects her expression, trying to suss out exactly what it is that plagues her. She looks worried– anxious, even. She pulls her gaze away from him, stepping back away from him ever so slightly, staring at the dirt for a moment before speaking.
“I just wanted you to be happy, Astarion. You were always so afraid, so paranoid that something or someone was going to come for you in the night. I never wanted you to have to worry about that ever again.” “And now I don’t,” He arches a pale brow. “Isn’t this what you wanted, my love? We’ll never fear anything ever again.” He feels her uncertainty vibrate the air around him, a sense of unease that permeates through her pores. It is not love and adoration and undying loyalty that she offers, but trepidation.
“I know. I know it’s everything you ever wanted, and I’m happy for you, but it just seems like–” “Just seems like what?” He cocks his head, narrowing his eyes at her.
“It seems like it’s changed you somehow. You’re– you’re different,” She reaches a tender hand up to caress his cheek, and he fights the instinct to lean into her touch.
“I am different,” He insists, his voice raising slightly. “Power beyond imagining. There has never been a vampire such as I am now. I feel it coursing through my veins, practically bursting at the seams with it–” That familiar habit crawls up his tongue, and he slips the words before he even thinks them over. “And we did it together. I’m untouchable now, and thus, so are you. It’s our world to take, darling. I love you. Isn’t that what you wanted so desperately?”
There’s a twinge of something he doesn’t quite recognize from her. Hurt, or perhaps… disappointment?
“Asto, I never wanted to strongarm or manipulate you into loving me. I care deeply for you, but that’s my burden to bear. I never wanted more from you than you wanted to give.”
“Then what did you want?” His lips curl downward into a frown, and he closes the gap between them that she created, stepping close enough to her to have her shifting.
“I just–” She pauses, her words hanging heavy in the air and on her mind as she says them. “--I had hoped you would have let go after killing Cazador. Realized that you don’t need power everlasting to be happy. I guess I thought you would have learned something from all of this–”
“Learn what, exactly?” His tone shifts, his words pointed and cruel as he spits them out, fists furling at his sides. “You naive, silly little girl. You’ve no idea what it’s like– what the world is truly like. You dare to condemn me after what I’ve seen? You’d judge me for taking strength where I find it? Strength that I use to protect both of us? To save your pretty little neck from all those creatures who seek to spill your blood? You dare pretend to understand?
He feels it through the tadpole— The whip and lash of barbed grief against her heart, ripping through her chest like a fanged maw. It's enough to almost bring him to his knees, but if it wasn't for their bond, he wouldn't have the slightest idea. Her face hardens and she betrays nothing at all: a slow blink in his direction, emotionless face creaseless as porcelain, not a thing betrayed—
—Save her eyes. There's something in her eyes that tears at him. Panics him. He cannot place it but fear creeps up his spine, taking hold in his brain. Something disappears from them as he speaks and they glaze over, empty and melancholic. As if she is letting go.
She shakes her head, the column of her throat twitching ever so slightly as she hard-swallows. "You're right. I— I don't. I'm sorry," She turns her eyes from him, and her expression hardens into something unreadable entirely. "I'll leave it then. I don’t want anything from you. Enjoy your power, Astarion. You’ve– you’ve earned it."
There is something unspoken in her words that batters at his brain, panicked and flapping about as a freshly caged bird. He prods at their connection and feels her recoil from him— feels her retreat into the recesses of her mind, severing their connection where she can, and blanking him out where she cannot. She is locking him out— and he realizes that it is perhaps for good.
His lip curls as she turns from him without another word, walking away, abandoning the conversation— abandoning him. There's a flash of sanguine rage and a pulse of power not entirely his own yet and his hand extends of its own will, fingers grasping at her throat and drawing her again, nails digging into the same flesh he'd once caressed so tenderly.
"Don't you walk away from me! Don't you ever turn your back on me again! Do you understand?"
Fear. That's what's in her eyes now. Not fear of him, but fear of what he has done. Of what she has allowed him to become. She searches him for a trace of the man she'd cared for, the man she shed blood for— both hers and countless others— to save. All she finds is a twisted mockery of it. The man she has helped him become— if a man is what you can call him.
She has created a monster, and now he has turned his blood-red gaze on her.
"Astarion—"
He feels her pulse in his palm, rabbiting away in her ribs, the scent of her rushing blood palpable in his lungs. The very same scent as when she stares down a pack of howling gnolls or a murderous cultist with a knife to her belly. It is a scent that so often fades when he is near enough to her for comfort, but it is more powerful than ever as he bears down on her now.
"That's not how this is going to work, darling," He hisses, yanking her so close he can see himself in the whites of her wide eyes. "You are never to walk away from me again. Am I clear?"
The force of her rage hits him, edged with red, raw disgust. Her lip twitches, eyes narrowing on him as the malaise of her mourning is devoured by a tidal wave of both her pride and her indignant anger. "I am not your servant. You do not command me."
"Is that so? Isn't that what you wanted? Hmm? To lose yourself in me like you told me once upon a time? You wanted me to care for you– to love you– and I’ve told you that I do. You sought something from me and now you dare to turn your back on me?"
"I wanted to be with you! I cared about you! You're not some toy to be played with or some vessel for pleasure! I never wanted anything from you that you didn’t willingly give!" She stumbles over the words, shame seeping through her like a thick, viscous ink. "I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know what he had done to you—"
"And it doesn't matter," He sneers, sharp eyes locked on hers. "You gave yourself to me that night, did you not? You saw me through everything standing at my side, cut down as many bodies as I, handed me the knife I used to carve Cazador's skin, gave me your eyes so that I might sign the contract that pledged my soul and countless others to the hells, and now you dare to pretend your hands are clean as you point a finger at me?"
"I wanted you to feel safe! To never have to look over your shoulder in fear ever again! To never again have to sleep with one eye open like we do now, just waiting for the creatures that stalk the shadows to swoop down upon us! For the first time in your life, I wanted you to know for certain that you could kill anything that threatened you or your freedom! I never wanted to tear down Cazador's tyrannical throne only to place you upon it— but it seems that's exactly what I've done!"
Something in his body snaps, and his reaction is a visceral, violent scarlet slash of fury. He squeezes her neck, baring ivory fanged teeth down on her as he would a prey. "Do not ever compare me to him!"
Her eyes are wide with fear– with disgust– as she croaks out the words from beneath his palm.
“Look at yourself, Astarion. Am I wrong?”
He looks down at her, at the woman he claims to love as he chokes her and she suffocates on his power, her bruising throat flexing in strain beneath his steely fingertips. He can just barely make himself out in the dewy sheen of her eyes as they begin to water, and what stares back at him isn’t a man– it is a monster.
Something in him shatters like glass, the last threads of his sanity slipping away through his fingertips. He is too far gone now to turn back, too lost in the red mist to find the light.
But he will not wander it alone. He will never be alone again.
"I am whatever I say I am, and you are what I say you are, and you will do as I command. Your place is at my side, now and forever," He challenges her, fingers squeezing tighter on her throat as he breathes in the sweet, saccharine scent of her terror; the palpating, rocketing pulse of her thrumming heart. "And you will acquiesce to me. It’s not a request."
"Don't you dare presume to order me about like I'm your slave!" She claws at his wrist, trying to wrench free of his grip. “I never agreed to that!”
“You don’t have to, my love,” He leans down further, pressing his forehead to hers. “Because I have decided for you.”
“You do not get that right!” She snarls, baring her own teeth back at him.
“Oh, but I do, darling. But I do. You don’t seem to grasp how this is going to work, so allow me to explain it to you.”
He shoves her hard to the ground, releasing her throat only to leer over her from above, stepping on either side of her body. Her will is iron, but the flash of fear across her face is unmistakable.
“You gave yourself to me, and I intend to keep what is mine. Your body is so fragile– so frail– You’d never survive without me, and I have no intentions of letting you go now that I have you. So you will stay by my side always. It’s what’s best for you, my little love, and you belong to me.”
“I don’t belong to anyone.”
“Yes,” He says firmly, as if scolding a small child. “You do.”
“I don’t have to obey you!” She hisses.
“Not yet, perhaps.”
Horror grips her and realization takes hold. “You wouldn’t, Astarion. You can’t do this–”
“I didn’t want it to be like this,” He bends his knees, leaning down as he brushes the hair from her neck, thumb stroking tauntingly over her pulse point. “I wanted you to come willingly. I wanted you to ask for it, accept my gift of your own volition. But you’re a foolish, willful girl. You don’t know what’s good for you, do you? So I will show you.”
“After everything? After everything you’ve been through? After everything we have been through?” Her voice breaks, and with it, her heart. Her strength slips away, and he can feel it swallow his senses in a wretched black void, sending him drowning him in her abyssal anguish– her betrayal at his hands– but he shoves it down and locks it away. Something he cannot place claws and tears at his own heart with a need so violent it almost sends him reeling, something begging him to stop, that this isn’t right– to her of all people– but he silences it. He will not lose her. He will not.
Even if he must place a collar around her neck to keep her and keep her leash pulled taut.
And what she has to say about it is of little consequence.
“This doesn’t have to hurt, my sweet girl,” He says softly, flicking his tongue over a fang. “But I know you like when it does.”
“Astarion, please! I don’t want to have to hurt you–” He laughs, vicious and cruel, cackling like a hyena over carrion. “As if you could! I’m untouchable. The very power of the night bends to my commands, and so too shall you. Even your blood sings for me, eager and ready and willing. Begging for me,” He places his hand softly on her chest, just above her rips, feeling the gentle pump beneath. “You want this, even as you play coy. You want to belong to me. So I will give it to you what you desire.”
“Is that what you’re telling yourself?” A single silver tear slips down the gentle curve of her cheek.
He blinks at her, and for a moment, he freezes upon seeing her tears and she can see a glimpse of him in there. Somewhere deep and far, screaming and thrashing and desperate against his own might, fighting a war against his very nature. He looks at her with the same eyes that revere her, crave her, love her– but above all, honor her.
For a fleeting moment, he is the Astarion she loves. His lip trembles and quakes and the urge to hold her is overwhelming. To comfort her. To hold her close and keep her safe and protect her, to strike down all her fears with his bare hands. To love her.
And yet he is the source of her pain.
“Yes.”
And then he is gone again. The light goes out and his eyes become inky black pits, nothing in them but her own miserable reflection as he leans down ever further, his warm breath against her neck as he teases her throat with a fang.
“Give yourself to me, now and always,” He whispers, blasphemous and terrible as it runs a shiver down her spine. “By my side now and forever. It’s all ours, my love. Everything we lay eyes upon. We can have it all. Wealth, power– each other. Centuries upon centuries stretching into the endless horizon of eternity. I want it all, and I want to share it with you.”
She could raise a hand to him. She could try and fight him off with tooth and nail and flame. She could kick and crawl, scramble away back to the safety of camp. She could–
But she doesn’t.
“I don’t want this, Astarion. A beloved slave is still a slave. A diamond collar is still a collar. A leash held by someone you love is still a leash. I love you, but you can’t force this. Please–” She exhorts, trying to swallow back a bout of fresh tears. “Please don’t do this. Not to me. Not to you.”
He inhales raggedly, hand slipping up to her cheek to cup it, savoring her warmth one last time.
“I have to. I won’t lose you. Not now, not ever. Not to age or blight or foolish notions. I cherish you, and I’d see you safe.”
“A gilded cage is still a cage.” She closes her eyes, hand furled in his doublet.
“And I will carry it with me. Always.”
#Baldur's Gate 3#Astarion#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3 spoilers#astarion x tav#Astarion Romance#Sorta anyways#Sad shit fellas sad shit#babys first angst#I don't usually write stuff like this so uh#not necessarily true to his character but thats not what this is about
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[ID: a drawing of pye from outer wilds, standing with her writing staff. she's wearing an orange nomai space suit without the helmet, and she has a light brown face with curly darker brown fur. end ID]
figuring out how i want to draw the nomai, so here's a pye since i am obsessed with her !!!
#outer wilds#pye#she was one of the easiest to start recognizing across text because she is involved in so many different things#but then i saw the scroll where she was calculating trajectories to the sun station and i Was in love immediately#and i love that the sun station was designed (by the game artists not by pye) to look more weapon-like than anything else the nomai built#as a way to show how it goes against their nature to do something so destructive and high risk#and since pye is the one kind of leading that and being so vocally For it it implies that she is also acting against nomai nature#but i dont think thats necessarily true!! a majority of the nomai agreed or else the idea would have been voted down#(even tho it did spark arguments)#and the oldest nomai recording we have access to is from escall making a split second decision to warp to an unknown place#just to follow a signal the group was curious about and it put them in danger!!! that killed people!!!#like i know its more about the potential damage to the solar system and the life there but#throwing caution to the wind for scientific discovery is very much nomai nature From What I Saw !!!#not that i am saying the game creators are wrong lmao but i mean like. i think it is against their nature AND so very exactly their nature#at the same time and thats why there Was so much debate about it#and i think pye is the embodiment of trying Everything Possible (and impossible) to find answers and learn#AND SHE IS SEXY FOR IT#ANYWAYS. clears throat#blow up that sun girl hashtag women in stem
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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