#and that's not even mentioning the biphobia!

[red-lights-of-doooooom]

I feel like a lot of people these days need to be reminded that sex is a privilege and not a right.

I should probably preface this by saying that masturbation is a human right, obviously. I mean, we all have the right to orgasm. But the act of sex itself, with other people, is ultimately a privilege.

Which is why I get super angry when I see these creeps on Hinge saying things like "your body my choice" and disregarding the fact that people might not want to sleep with them. Bunch of incels....

Anyways, I'll just keep moving forward, I guess...

[politicalprocrastinator]

Christopher Eccleston did not kiss a man on the lips for you bitches to say that the doctor used to be straight

[missgallavjch]

i wish we had bi representation that really feels like it was made for bi people and understands bi people

[mishtershpock]

.

[yellowraincoat]

Watching everybody’s takes about Bridgerton on tiktok is PAINFUL. Especially Benedict.

I swear if I have to watch one more tik tok about “3 seasons of Benedict slutting it up around town is painful to me” “he’s the community ride” etc. I’m going to lose it. Each of these seasons takes place over the course of a year. He is usually seeing 1 to 2 people a year. That is like???? Very normal behavior by modern standards? Why are we slutshaming this fictional man? Like Collin was the slut of this season if you want to fuckin go there (tho I don’t think that’s a productive line of analysis for this season either.)

And then when they thought Michaela’s actress was cast as his love interest Sophie they lost their shit bc she’s a dark skinned black woman. And y’all wanted him to be bi but then didn’t you want to see him have his plotline of realizing it as a subplot??

[bubblegumbi-tch]

Lesbians enjoy your visibility week without shitting on bi people challenge

[bonethievery]

Why do i feel guilty for having m/f ships like 90% of my ships are gay/lesbian but then i decide Millywood or Zelink is cute and my brain says I'm doing something wrong.

[hoodienanami]

i understand the point youre trying to make with this post and i support that point but i think its extremely dangerous to let ppl off the hook for supporting a man who shamelessly spouted one of the most vile and homophobic conspiracy theories of all time (that the SS and hilter youth were 'teeming' with gay men)

instead of saying 'its not your fault you were tricked by somerton' we need to say to the kids (and adults) who were duped by him that yeah it was kinda their fault that they nodded along with his disgusting interest in tying nazism and homosexuality together. and then we need to say but you live and you learn and next time hopefully you wont accept grievous and obvious homophobia just bc its coming from a gay person

ok i finally understand where gen z gays on tumblr are getting insane ideas like "marriage equality was a waste of time and only of interest to rich white cis gays who wanted respectability" and "bob iger is pro-gay". it was fucking james somerton this whole time. "american GIs joined the european front purely out of envy for nazi bodybuilding" <<<< actual thing he said seriously in a video. and people were just like "yup sounds good" ?????

[kittyboones]

My twt has been rampant with biphobia, especially towards bi women with partners of the opposite assumed sex, so just dropping by to say that I will kill every biphobes on sight. Idc if the bi chick's boyfriend sucks, then you get pissed at the boyfriend, not the bisexual woman, because she inevitably gets the worst part of the treatment, not strangers

[johannestevans]

A Transphobe Ruined His Own Night Because I Was Existing Next to Him

Hate is a miserable business — but in this case, not for me!

Originally published here in Prism & Pen.

My partner and I went to DILF Leeds for the first time this week — DILF, which obviously stands for Dad I’d Like To Fuck, is a regular gay dance night that runs here in the UK. It runs all over, in Manchester and London and a bunch of other cities, as well as more locally to us in Leeds.

I will be the first to say that dance music is not my vibe as a rule, and a lot of the DJing unfortunately struck me as closer to noise than music — we’d meant to go before but had to miss the event, so we were really excited to go this week. I did have a significant moment of doubt when I realised that the event started at ten o’clock, because despite the night being aimed at older men particularly, I am in my heart much more tired and crotchety than any of them could be, but we went along.

We arrived just as the night opened, and a few guys were stripping out of their day gear into their club gear underneath, or were changing into it.

We logged all our stuff in the cloakroom, and to begin with I didn’t strip down too much — my partner stripped down to his Christmas suspenders and jock strap earlier on, and once it was a good deal busier (and thus a lot warmer), I stripped down to my colourful flared trousers and my leather vest.

There’s honestly so few nights and spaces that are so beautifully liberated as nights like these. There were some men that stayed fully-clothed the whole of the time, either in colourful Christmas or holiday jumpers, or in their jeans and their novelty t-shirts — with basic but emphatic slogans like SLUT, or a good favourite of ours for the evening, FEED ME TO THE BEARS — but a lot of people were dressed in fetish and clubbing gear.

Rubber suits, leather and latex harnesses, jockstraps, lingerie, beautiful underwear and bodysuits, leather collars and fetish gear — and even more exciting than the diversity of the outfits (including those in just their birthday suits) was the diversity of the bodies in the room.

A reason we were interested in DILF rather than a random gay club night was that it focuses explicitly and specifically on celebrating different men’s bodies beyond the twink and the twunk — DILFs and daddies and older men; bears and and otters and bulls, fat men and big muscle men, and all the men in between.

They also have a very explicitly inclusive policy when it comes to trans men:

1. DILF creates events for like-minded queer men (including gay, bi + trans men) and male presenting non-binary people over 18 years old to celebrate + express themselves. 2. There’s no room for racism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, body shaming or any other kind of hate speech and intolerance at DILF’s events. — (From their website.)

And I saw other trans men too, not to mention that apart from having a wider variety of weights and sizes in the men in attendance, there were a lot more brown and Black men than I often see at events in Bradford and Leeds, and it’s obvious that DILF does more than just pay lip service to the idea of diversity, in their organisers and staff, in their promo photos, and in their target audience for attendees.

I also brought my cane with me and spent a good part of the night either sitting down or leaning against a wall or surface, and I got no comments on it, nor even any funny looks, honestly. I cannot readily recollect a night where I’ve gone out and danced with my cane to hand, where no one’s been a dick about it, but also where I’ve genuinely let myself rest enough through the course of the night that I’m in less pain at the end of the night than I am at the beginning.

The night was good.

It was a busy night, it was a busy night full of sexy men, while the music was not my thing one could mostly dance along to it, and it was sexy as Hell. People were grinding on one another, making out, but obviously it was a cruising night as much as a dance night, so while no one was getting bent over and reamed over a bar table — not that I saw, anyway, but perhaps we left too early to enjoy it — but people were giving and receiving blowjobs, handjobs, and frotting a good bit, which one does love to see.

I don’t know what it was that made this dude clock me — I haven’t had top surgery and was only in a leather vest worn open, but my tits are fairly small and given that he was a much bigger man than I am, his were far bigger than mine are. It might have been my chest, it might have been that I had short hair, it might have been that because I was wearing eyeliner and colourful trousers he thought I was nonbinary — who knows? Who cares?

But this fella turns to me and says something to the effect of, “You know this is an event for gay men, right?”

And my partner and I were like, “Uh… Yeah? Duh?”

“Men who are GAY.” And I didn’t initially understand what his problem was, and just sort of looked at him very blankly, whereupon he very snottily said, “Hmph, good luck!” and turned away.

What followed was an interesting exercise in creating one’s own misery.

My partner and I sort of looked at one another with the typical, “What’s her problem?” look one often witnesses in gay clubs like this one when someone’s being a bit of a prick without an apparent reason, and then as we sort of half-observed, we watch this guy go to the friends he was with and complain whilst pointing in my direction. We obviously couldn’t hear what he was saying over the music, but he started with his friends, and then spoke to a few others… and then a few other random guys after that.

All of them, to a man, glanced in my direction, and then gave their mate a look like, “Um… okay? So?”

Thus adding to his frustration and apparently spurring him on to complain to the next man at the audacity of a gay man at this gay men’s event that he didn’t personally approve of.

Several of his mates continued to chat and make small talk with us here and there throughout the night, exchanged horny and admiring looks, et cetera and so on — and this guy’s temper tantrum obviously made no significant change to my night whatsoever.

No one gave a fuck that I was trans — they might have thought my outfit was a bit odd because I wasn’t in nicer fetish gear because I just don’t have any yet beyond some sexy assless underwear and I haven’t yet gotten hold of a harness for myself, but like I said, there were other trans men present, other effete and effeminate men, other guys who were on the skinnier side. On no point was I unique in the room — and people still flirted here and there, had conversations, and so on.

The only night this guy really impacted for himself was his own — focusing on some dude he didn’t want to be present rather than being flirty and having genuine fun with other men, and also embarrassing himself to all his friends, who all kept glancing at him with the same glance of, “Girl, what?” whenever he apparently worked himself up again.

The thing about the anti-trans obsession in recent years is that it’s a fixation on other people’s existence and behaviour that doesn’t impact you in any way — until this guy had made that comment to me, I hadn’t even said hello to him. We were just sitting on the same bench against the wall, and one of his friends had been laughing while helping my partner off with his skinny jeans, all in good fun.

He didn’t get everyone baying for my removal, or complaining about it to staff, or anything else. He didn’t get any of them to get out pitchforks or start burning trans effigies.

He got secondhand embarrassment on his behalf, because he was making himself look ridiculous to his friends because of his obsession with trans people, actively lowering their opinion of him and for what? The one trans dude he noticed vibing nearby, with no direct interaction with him at all that he hadn’t started?

If I was going to be cruising and fucking anybody, it’s not like he had to partake with me! There were plenty of guys to choose from!

This man was in his fifties or so, I would estimate, so by the time he was old enough to be exploring his own sexuality, being gay would have been legal, but he would have been living through the worst of the AIDs crisis, and certainly, a night like DILF would never have been able to be so openly advertised, nor I doubt as well attended or put on as often as it can be today. It’s always funny when I see such silly and self-sabotaging bigotry from men who are old enough and more than experienced enough to know better, but in the meantime, like…

I’m glad I still had a good night, and I’m honestly so pleased to have attended an event where the common consensus was very obviously at this dude’s problem rather than against the trans minority, especially when the world so often feels like it’s the other way around.

It’s a nice reminder that as vocal as they can be with their whinging and complaining, the bigots aren’t the majority they’d like us to believe they are.

[autumnday19]

The biphobic argument I hear the most from other queer people is just. So stupid.

The argument is usually phrased something like “You can’t identify as bisexual because that makes you transphobic” but what they usually mean is “If you aren’t attracted to nonbinary people then you’re transphobic.” 

Which? No? 

Okay think about it this way. 

Are gay men sexist for not being attracted to women? Are lesbian sexist against men because they aren’t attracted to men? Obviously not, attraction doesn’t not directly equate to respect. The same goes for bisexuals who are not attracted to nonbinary people. 

[beanarie]

of course

in which the helicopter crashed with both our guys inside. inspired by this awesome post by @mooshkat

(tw: vomiting, heart issues, near death angst, biphobia mention)

~

Once the wave of agony subsides, and Tommy is reasonably sure he's done vomiting into the dirt, he blinks over at Evan appraisingly. "Is your arm broken or did your shoulder go out again?"

Evan grimaces and finishes tying off Tommy's splint. "Shoulder. And my hip's not feeling great. Cracked rib, maybe two. But of course you had to outdo me."

"Didn't do it on purpose." Tommy glares at the spot where his tibia poked through the skin, like he can intimidate the pain away. "Anyway you've got me on quantity."

"There's nothing else?"

"My head hurts," Tommy admits, "but there's not much we can do for that right now."

Evan leans in to compare his pupils. Tommy is very proud of himself for not flinching. "Dispatch had our location?" Evan asks, and instead of reminding him that he was there when they confirmed it, Tommy nods.

He knows he can't go to sleep, even if the leg would allow him. He finds a stick and starts tic tac toe. Evan chuckles and joins in.

He wins the next two games. Tommy blames his probable concussion.

Evan holds his bad arm tight around his midsection, but his eyes seem stormy for a different reason. "These people who hurt you in the past, what- what are their names?"

"Huh?" Tommy gives up on the game, scratching it out of the dirt. "You want a full list of legal names or just what I called them?"

"Was it Evan, for any of them?"

God, he's so transparent. Tommy laughs.

"Do you- do you judge everyone by who came before? Is that just what you do in a-all situations? One barista spilled coffee on you in 2011 and you pay for Starbucks with one of those grabby reacher things ever since?"

"Fuck's sake." Tommy doesn't even like Starbucks, but he doesn't say that.

Evan sort of shrugs before he remembers his shoulder with a wince. "It's not generally considered a sign of maturity. Ironic, I guess."

"Yeah, call me old. See where it gets you."

Evan brightens. "You're talking to me. I like my results so far."

There's something indefatigable about this man. Tommy can't help but surrender in the face of it, just a little. "How did you know I'd have to pinch hit for this fly along?"

"I didn't. I just hoped." His grin is just the slightest bit abashed. "Worst case scenario, get out of the engine for a day and I pump one of your coworkers for info."

"They have very little to pump," Tommy says. Evan and the codependent 118 are the aberration, and they're well aware of that. Tommy has great coworkers. They do their jobs and leave, with the exception of drinks once or twice a month. None of them gave him shit after the breakup. Few of them noticed. This is how most teams operate. Evan, however, looks surprised and a little sad. "What were you hoping to hear?"

"I don't know." Evan looks away, suddenly self conscious. "That you messed yourself up at least half as much as you did me."

Tommy rubs at his face. "I didn't mean to mess you up, Buck. Truly. We- It just ran its course. It doesn't reflect badly on you, or me. This just happens."

He looks upset at first, then calculating. "What if I hooked up with those Not-Evans?"

Tommy looks behind him, searching for something that makes sense. "What if you moved to the moon? I have no idea what you're getting at right now."

"Would I be experienced enough for you if I let them have a go? They were terrible for you, so it stands to reason they'll be terrible for me, too." He lifts a finger, his eyes lighting up in a way that turns Tommy's stomach. "Oh, I guess one or two of those might be women. They don't count. Some might be bi and married to women. Do they count as half? If I bag a threesome, is that like seventy-five percent? Do you give points for polyamory?"

Tommy feels about eighty years old, and not a fit eighty. "When did I say even one of those things?"

"The implications were pretty clear, Tommy. 'You're just young and excited. You don't know what you're feeling or how to interpret anything going on in front of you.'"

Tommy doesn't know what to say to that. It's not remotely what he meant, but he's never been good at communicating through panic.

"Did you love me?" Evan asks quietly. Tommy can't look him in the face. "It felt like you- like you did, but when you let me go like that, like chopping off the top bit of a carrot, it made me re- reevaluate everything I thought I knew about us."

The note of devastation in his voice almost tips him over, but ultimately what does it is the implication that Tommy made Evan lose faith in himself. He can't abide being responsible for that. "Of course I love you, Evan. How could I not?"

The tightness in his chest, that felt so much like raw emotion, intensifies, growing sharper. It's hard to breathe now, like sucking a milkshake through a coffee stirrer, and he realizes, something is very wrong. About as wrong as it could possibly be.

"Oh," he says. An attempt to inflate his lungs all the way makes his vision go sparkly at the edges.

"Tommy?"

Tommy drags his eyes up to meet Evan's. "S- Sorry, I-" I wouldn't have said any of those things if I knew. "Sorry. Evan." You deserve better than a fucking deathbed love confession.

A rough hand grasps his neck, slowing his descent to the ground. "No, hey. Hey hey hey. Tommy, we'll figure this out." Evan sniffles and tries to smile. His tears are falling everywhere. "You're okay. You're fine. Just keep- keep breathing."

The coffee stirrer is about a millimeter wide. Tommy can feel the muscles in his neck straining like he's deadlifting his own weight. Evan rips Tommy's shirt open and he swears floridly, miserably. They both know what this is; they've seen it in a hundred MVAs. Cardiac tamponade. When his heart gives out from the strain of all the blood surrounding it, chest compressions can be worse than useless. They could punch his ticket that much faster.

"Tommy," Evan says, pulling Tommy into his lap. The complaints from his splinted leg are distant, belonging to someone else entirely. Evan's voice is a ragged mess trying to piece itself together. His shoulder and ribs are probably killing him. "Don't run out again. You need to stay. Breathe."

Half a millimeter.

One quarter.

Tommy can't remember what comes after millimeter.

"That's it. I know it's hard, but keep trying. That's all I ask. Just try, okay? Look at me."

Micrometer? Is that it?

Evan's face is shadowed by the sun cresting over his shoulder. Tommy closes his eyes against the glare and is rewarded with a shake.

"Keep your eyes open. Stay with me. Just a little- little bit longer, please."

Fingers are running through his hair, lips are pressing against his forehead, and he thinks he can hear... sirens.

[silver-horse]

it's fascinating that those biphobes compare women liking astarion to women liking legolas and they mention a popular post that says "I never understood why so many straight women are into legolas. what do you think he is going to do? top you?" they bring this post up like some sort of proof "haha. so right. so true."

EXCEPT the notes on that popular post are filled with THOUSANDS of women commenting "no. I am gonna top him" and "bold of you to assume women can't top" and a lot of them are bisexual women commenting "I am bi and I only like men who look like a girl lol" honestly relatable Lmao

they act like that shitpost is pointing out some truth about how those women are silly. but the replies on that post show the stupidity of that assumption. people really don't get that feminine looking women don't just want to be rough handled by some masculine dude. and people have varied tastes and sexual desires. there is so much misogyny all tangled up in the biphobia. but it's subtle in a way that they don't notice their views on these matters are flawed because even when we point out what's wrong with these gender essentialist stereotypes, they ignore it and treat it as a joke "haha you all act like we wanted to behead bisexuals"

[cjlouwho]

I’m just laughing at how those post-episode interviews really fucked 911 over because if they’d just left it I’d honestly be eating this shit up, and I think a lot of us would. Yeah, we’d still be pissed at the biphobia presented to us through the writing, but we’d have hope that there would be opportunity to fix it. Even if they didn’t plan on fixing it on their end, if they’d have just shut up about it then they wouldn’t have heard so many complaints.

I know some people said they’re glad they didn’t lead us on to believe Tommy would be back, but from their end they should have. There are so many shows with loose ends! So many series where I’ve thought “I wonder what happened to *insert storyline here*” but they moved on and so did I. I shrug it off after a while, a little bummed, but otherwise fine.

But they had Lou do two “exit interviews” that I’m not totally sure he knew were exit interviews when he did them. Part of me wonders if even the headline surprised him, potentially believing he was doing breakup interviews or whatever. And then the Oliver interview was weird and kinda gross. I know Lou mentioned having other things lined up he needed to do, but that doesn’t even read as a “yeah I’m done here” it reads more as “I’ve got other commitments I have to keep and then hopefully I can return.”

Anyway, If they’d have just left the episode as is, and shut up about it afterward, we’d be having some angsty fun right now!

[sluttypatrickstar]

the thing about all this somerton shit is that, from what i can gather, he’s never even addressed his misogyny and biphobia and the fucking nazi shit or any of that . all these videos, all these responses, but this would be too hard to invent an excuse for and he can’t pretend he’ll pay his way out of this one, so just... nothing. not even a mention.

[nonranghaes]

heads up: bi fem reader. mentions of biphobia and implied complex feelings surrounding things.

"sometimes... i think i just want to go back into the closet."

felix looks over, watching you with furrowed brow as you stretch slightly next to him before relaxing again. it's as if you didn't even speak, but he knows what you said. what you mean. what you struggle with, too: he's heard your rants plenty of times by now.

he turns over onto his side, propping his head up with his hand. "did someone say something?"

"not directly to me, but..." you let out a long sigh. "sometimes i just think it'd easier if i pretend i'm straight. that's all some people are ever going to see me as anyway."

"but you've dated--"

"i know i've dated more than men in the past," you shut your eyes. "do you think people care about that? it feels like people only care about the people we end up with, and get mad when it's the 'wrong' one."

he frowns, almost a little hurt secondhand. you've always been so up front with how much you adore him. it makes him feel special that you wake up and choose to love him every day, your 'easiest' choice in your own words (and he knows that picking what you want for dinner is one of the hardest decision when it's your day to cook). his hand slips into your own, squeezing it tight.

"i'm not going to tell you what you should do," he says, choosing his words carefully. "since... i know it's a hard thing to think about. but even if you do, it's never going to change how much i love and support you. our friends feel the same way, you know?" he rolls onto his back as he slides next to you, head resting against your shoulder. "you deserve to be you. i know i can't really say that you shouldn't let what other people say hurt you" his hand squeezes your again, "because it's hard. but... i love you. your friends and family loves you."

and when you break with that first shudder-y breath that precedes crying, felix holds you, rubbing circles into your back. it's going to be okay, he wants to say. but instead, he just lets you take shelter in his arms for as long as you need. he loves you. you love him. that's all that matters in this second.