#and that's not even counting pc or ps games

[onehourhero]

One Hour Hero

I've had this desire to put my ADHD to work and not only document some of my video game playing so that I remember which games I've played and whether I liked them or not (and why!) but maybe also make that visible to others. It'll also mean my jumping around from game to game has some sort of purpose besides forcibly breaking me from my old, unhealthy achievement hunter mentality.

I started with a YT account where I'd record myself playing the first hour of games, but it ate a lot of memory, took a lot of time, and just generally didn't scratch the itch. But here? Here I can write. And tag. And search and share.

So welcome (back) to One Hour Hero. One hour of gameplay and my opinions about it.

Ratings are based entirely on how I felt at the end of the hour:

Keep Playing- games I'm going to keep around a while longer

Conditionally Play It Again- games I'll keep around to play if the urge hits

Maybe Keep Playing- I haven't decided yet, but that's not a bad thing.

Put It Away- I'm not interested in continuing and will immediately uninstall.

Didn't Even Finish the Hour- something about it just made it not worth the time to finish

Get This Out of My Memory- I wish I'd never pressed start.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Homecoming (one-shot)

Synopsys: When Y/N goes missing during a simple supply run, she comes back with world-shattering news for Astarion. News he never thought to hear, and now he has a decision to make, one that will shift his life on its axis once more.

Set after the main events of BG3

Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, a bit of SMUT, but nothing explicit

Warnings: talks of blood, injuries, swearing, mentions of abuse, but nothing explicit, kidnapping

Word count: 8397

A/N: I have not played Baldur's Gate 3 (I don't own a PS or a PC where to play it. all of this is based on the info gathered online and through Neil's own gameplay etc. Please be kind :) )

Part 2(ish) - Love Conquers All (one-shot)

A home was not something to ever be taken for granted, that much they had learned during their adventures.

A home was a fire slowly crackling in the hearth, warmth expanding through the living room. A home was Astarion sitting on a loveseat, a book in his hands while he waited for his love to finish puttering around in the kitchen. A home was drying tea leaves and making preserves for the coming winter as she shooed him out, saying that his fussing would only hinder her process.

He’d huffed, puffed and whined, trying to make Y/N pull away from her plans just so they could curl up and read together, but she was adamant.

“I’ve already started.” She dropped an orange peel and pressed some lemon juice into the steaming pot. “It’ll be wasted produce if I just leave it now.”

“But it will take you hours!” Astarion whined like a child and even stomped his foot, making her snort.

“And it will take me twice as long if you don’t stop annoying me.” Y/N threw him a saccharine smile over her shoulder, batting her lashes at the pouting vampire. “Now, be a good boy, and quit pestering me. We’ll have all the time in the world, once I’m done.”

Astarion just groaned, going up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, the incisors he usually sank into her neck now nipping at her lobe. “I can be a very good boy if you only let me prove it.”

“My love, you will be getting absolutely no sex from me, if you don’t let me at least finish this batch.” A shiver rushed down her spine as he licked at her neck, so close to that sweet spot he always used as a place to bite and drink from. But she had to be strong. The jams wouldn’t make themselves. “Every additional minute you keep me from this will be an additional day of your dry spell.”

The vampire spawn jumped back from her as if he’d been scalded, scarlet eyes narrowing in on her. “You wouldn’t dare. You wouldn’t last an hour!”

Y/N turned around, crossing her arms as a devious smile bloomed on her lips, a brow raised in challenge. “Would you like to test those waters?”

Astarion stood, staring her down. His crimson gaze was blazing from underneath his lashes, but she didn’t budge. They’d played this game for close to three years as a couple now, and she’d learned very quickly – Astarion was very much so a cat. But especially – he was a cat that liked to knock things over while keeping direct eye contact with you, though the second you placed a palm underneath whatever it was he wanted for to fall, all his need for chaos disappeared. It just wasn’t fun anymore.

For twenty long seconds, Y/N and her pale elven lover didn’t break, hoping the other would crumble and be announced as the loser, but part of what he loved about her, was her stubbornness. It was because of that part of her personality, she’d stuck by him when his doubts had crept in, when his own mind called him worthless and not good enough for her, almost as if to spite those vicious words in his mind. She didn’t give up on the people she loved, and as luck would have it, Astarion owned her heart.

But Y/N also knew how to handle a cat like him, so just after a few more tense moments, his eye twitched, and he huffed in defeat.

“Fine,” he scoffed. “But if you are not done by sundown, I shall have no other option but to drag you away from the stove. Kicking and screaming preferred.”

Y/N simply shook her head, and went to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling the man into a deep, breathless kiss, but not before nipping at his bottom lip, dragging the piece of flesh between her teeth and making him let out a desperate moan. “I’ll even let you tie me up if you wish to do so.”

Astarion’s pupils almost swallowed the red irises in a matter of seconds, as he threw his head back in a groan. “My love, you’re absolutely killing me here.”

“Then I hope whatever punishment you deem fit for me, will be just oh, so sweet.” Y/N stepped back, untangling herself from him, but the mischievousness in her eyes didn’t lessen.

She could see how the words tortured him, how it took every single last piece of his fraying self-control, to not rip off her apron and the clothes underneath and just lay her down on the kitchen table, legs spread with his mouth licking into her until she orgasmed.

With eyes holding nothing but pure lust and hands clenching and unclenching, Astarion retreated. Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t hot and bothered and absolutely dripping between her thighs, and the thought of finishing those jams was the last thing on her mind, but she did have to do it. If only to keep him waiting longer, knowing whatever his beautiful brain was cooking up would leave her screaming and shaking for hours.

They’d been growing their own vegetables and fruits, Y/N tending to them during the nights to spend more time with Astarion as he fussed over his flower gardens, so it would simply be wasteful to leave their berries to rot. The year had been very generous and offered a variety of things to gather, so a while back, she’d decided to pickle some of the tomatoes and cucumbers, turn another batch of peppers and tomatillos into sauces while the sweeter things would be turned into syrups and jams.

Y/N shook her head, trying to clear it from the haze of lust, as the aroma of lemons and cranberries, raspberries and oranges wafted all around, encasing her in the scent. She was just about to add the sugar when the tin rattled with the sound of the last grains left.

Her brow furrowed as she opened the lid and looked inside. Sure, enough it was empty.

The woman huffed. She was absolutely positive she’d gotten the right amount during the last trip, but somewhere along the way it seemed a miscalculation had happened, and now she had to get more. Y/N would have asked Astarion, and had the sun dipped below the horizon, he would have jumped at the request, but alas his little vampiric predicament forbade him from walking during the day, the sun still high in the sky from what she could see through a tiny slit in the shutters.

Quickly, Y/N snuffed out the flame below the pot, untied her dirtied apron and grabbed a basket from the pantry, tying a pouch of coins to her side. She only needed sugar, but maybe she would grab some other necessities as well. They were low on Astarion’s favourite wine, one he claimed didn’t taste like vinegar at least.

“I’m off to the market really quick,” Y/N announced as she peeked into the living room, taking in Astarion as he flipped a page in a book. “Do you want anything?”

“No, my love.” He looked at her like a love-sick puppy. “Just your darling self back as quick as you can. I have picked up some… inspiration for your punishment if you will. Just as you suggested, of course.” He closed the book, showing the cover to her.

Heat crawled all over her body as she read the title, one of her smuttier romances she had started to read, and when she could do nothing but gulp and nod, his smile turned from a sweet one into a wicked-fanged thing. It was all she needed to know whatever awaited her once she was done would leave her unable to walk. Gods, she needed to finish this whole thing up as quickly as she could.

Y/N was out the doors like the wind, the usual stroll to the market cut from half an hour into a brisk fifteen-minute jog, the thoughts of the man waiting back home for her at the forefront of her mind.

The needed sugar, some coffee beans, a loaf of fresh bread, Astarion’s wine and some sour cream were all bought in quick succession, Y/N didn’t even try to haggle. Her eyes drifted across various stalls and merchants and she almost deemed it done when her gaze caught onto a rose seedling. It was a beautiful bloom with blood-red petals that whitened at the very tips. She smiled and went to buy it. Astarion would love the symbolism even if a bit too on the nose.

Once satisfied with everything, Y/N marched across the market and was back on the road to home. It was a humble little house they’d purchased with whatever had been left in their pockets after all was said and done with the tadpoles, but Astarion had bigger plans. This was only a temporary situation.

“I want a whole room full of books. Nothing but books from one end to the other and then some,” he’d confided in Y/N one night after both were panting and spent from multiple rounds of bringing the other to ecstasy.

“And a large ballroom,” he continued, and Y/N couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped her.

“A ballroom? And what will we do with that?”

“Why, have grand balls, of course!” He threw his hands up in the air as if her question was preposterous.

“Star…” Y/N tilted her head to look up at him from where she was lying on his naked chest. “You hate people. A ballroom full of them – it would be your literal nightmare.”

“I don’t hate people.”

“I don’t count.”

“Alright,” he conceded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Y/N placed her palm atop where his heart was and rested her chin on it, looking deep into his eyes. “I hate most people, simply dislike them, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a get-together, from time to time. Maybe… maybe see our friends. Catch up on how they’re doing. I absolutely despise to admit this and will say you are lying if you ever mention it to anyone, but I – I miss them… even Gale…”

A gentle smile lifted her lips as she brushed a wild curl out of his face and tucked it behind his pointy ear. “I think I’d really like that too.”

His eyes were so soft and full of love, that Y/N swore she could feel his heart beating once more in his chest, thudding against her palm in a confession of adoration.

She was almost out of the city by that point, already on the small, secluded road leading to their house which lay on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate right by the edges of the woods, so Astarion had easier access to game in between feeding on her when her attention was drawn back by someone calling out.

“Miss!” the voice, male she made out, yelled after her. “Miss, please wait!”

Instantly, her guard was up, but when a breathless man, looking to be in his late sixties appeared from behind a copse of trees, she somewhat relaxed. Y/N was still cautious, but if anything, she had a dagger holstered against her thigh. She was always prepared.

“Miss,” he gasped out, leaning his hands against his knees to catch his breath. “Miss, you are a quick one. I’ve been calling for you since by the rose stalls."

“Oh, I – I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you!” Y/N said but didn’t move forward. “How can I help?”

He huffed, as if regaining her breath, before fishing out a piece of fabric from his pocket, and extending it towards her. “You dropped this by the flowers.”

When she took a closer look at what he was holding, it seemed to be some sort of a silk scarf. She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t own silk scarves and definitely hadn’t worn one on such a warm day. “You must have mixed me up with someone, as it’s not mine. Sorry, for you to have troubled yourself like this.”

“No.” The man furrowed his brow, taking a step closer. “I am fairly certain I saw you drop it. Such a fine piece… didn’t want you to lose it.”

Y/N took a step back, angling herself in a defensive position with the basket in front of her. She didn’t like the tone he was speaking in, nor the way his eyes seemed to be appraising her. “No,” she asserted. “It’s not mine.”

His back stiffened, eyes growing cold, the grip on the scarf tightening as he hummed. “Well… a pity then.”        

She took another step back, but he was already lunging at her.

Dropping the basket to the ground, she reached for the knife strapped at her thigh, but he was quick as a viper as she hadn’t even noticed when a rope appeared in his hands, lashing it at her. Years of having fought had kept her agile and aware, but years of domestic bliss with Astarion had dulled her senses a bit.

The rope caught and wrapped around her ankle, knocking her to the ground. Y/N’s teeth clattered and snapped, her tongue almost in between them, but as he rushed to pin her down, she twisted her leg around the rope and pulled, making the man lose his balance and stumble.

It was enough for her to swipe her leg underneath his, and send him sprawling. It was enough for her to untangle her legs and roll away as he snapped it at her head. Her clothes were dirty as was her face, but it didn’t matter. She’d cover herself in blood if needed.

It was almost animalistic how she pounced – teeth bared, a snarl ripping from her throat and hands forming claws as if she would gouge at his face with just his nails, but as her palm brushed her thigh, unclipping the holster for her dagger, Y/N didn’t see the man had crouched on his knee and swung the cord.

It knocked the air out of her, as it wrapped around her chest, and he pulled her down, hard. Her ribs were screaming as the tether tightened and tightened with every pull, but as she thought this would be it, something strange happened – instead of offering her the killing blow, he opened a palm, now covered in a leather glove, and blew the contents of it onto her face.

Y/N coughed and sputtered, but whatever it was, was fast-acting and her lungs, still incapable of proper breathing due to the rope couldn’t expel it. In just a few seconds, the bright day around her turned into darkness.

She didn’t know how long she was unconscious for, but enough time had passed to dry out her throat. Or was that a side effect of whatever was blown into her face? In any case, as she slowly came to, Y/N noted there was a soft mattress under her body, which was an oddity for someone kidnapped. She could even tell the dagger was still by her thigh, the comforting weight of the blade pressed under her. Even weirder, if you asked her, to not disarm your victims.

Darkness still encompassed her, but the soft cloth against her cheeks told her she hadn’t permanently lost her vision, but with her sight obscured, she had to rely on her ears. That’s when voices invaded her senses.

There were three people somewhere further away, most likely in a different room if taken by how muffled the words were. She focused harder on what they were saying.

Two men and a female, Y/N differentiated, when the woman spoke.

“This is not what we agreed upon!” she hissed, and a grumbly-sounding man scoffed.

“You said to get her to you. I did. You never specified how.” It was the same man who’d knocked her out.

“We want her to help us!” A different male voice, this one softer, even kinder, rebutted. “I highly doubt kidnapping is a good incentive for that!”

“Look,” her assailant said. “I fulfilled my end of the deal. She is unhurt, maybe she'll sport a couple of bruises and a headache, but that is her own fault. She could have come willingly but didn’t. Other than that, though – she is completely fine. Now you do your part!”

As the trio argued between themselves, more angry whispers than shouting, Y/N started to shimmy her hands which had been bound, out of the restraints. She had a good inclination they needed her alive but had no want of staying as a prisoner.

Though her fighting skills seemed to have mellowed, which she was not happy about, even a couple of years without mortally dangerous adventures, hadn’t changed how quickly she could slip her wrists from their bindings.  Astarion might need to get more creative during their debauchery.

Y/N froze the second she heard a door open and shut, two pairs of footsteps moving closer and closer to where she was. Her breathing was shallow and almost imperceptible, as she tried to make it look like she was still unconscious.

She could sense two bodies enter the room and one move to stand where she faced, the other going to her back.

Y/N tensed. In just a few moments, whoever was behind her, would notice her undone binds. But she’d be ready.

“Darling, please be careful,” the woman said, a tremble in her voice.

Good. Let them be scared.

“Don’t worry,” the man replied. “I’ll just make sure she’s – what in the -”

But Y/N was already up, the blindfold off and ready to pounce. This time, she’d have the upper hand.

For a second, the light in the room blinded her, but her sight refocused fast enough to take in her captors’ faces.

The woman was beautiful, with high rosy cheekbones, and jade green eyes so vivid they looked like actual gemstones. Her hair was long and dark, down to her waist while grey strands seemed to have invaded the brown tresses in some places, but she was still ethereally gorgeous, her pointy ears covered in piercings.

Y/N snapped out of the shock quicker and using this to her advantage, she was behind her in a matter of a blink, her dagger pressed tight against her throat.

A gasp entered her ears, but she just pressed the blade harder, making her whimper.

“Please!” the man made her look at him, but instead of bracing for an attack, he had his hands up in surrender. “Please don’t hurt her! We just want to talk.”

“Funny way of having a conversation you’ve got there.” Y/N tightened her grip on the knife, surveying the man. Again, those same pointed ears, but his eyes were the most brilliant blue she’d ever seen and his face was marred with more age lines than the woman’s, yet he still was as gorgeous as she. “Typically, only my enemies would knock me out and tie me up before spilling their grand plans. But I will be kind and give you a choice – what would you like to be – friends or foes?”

“Friends! Friends! Please! We – we’re looking for our son!” the elven man pleaded. “And we – we heard a rumour that you might know him. Have even seen him.”

Y/N narrowed her Y/E/C eyes, piercing his with her gaze. “I’ve known and seen a lot of people. Usually, others just ask me about them, they don’t have someone kidnap me.”

“And we’re sorry, we’re so very sorry, but we had to make sure you came. It went too far and we apologise, but please…” He took in a deep breath, worried eyes flipping between his partner and her. “Our son – his name is Astarion. Astarion Ancunin. Have you – do you know of him?”

Hearing his name, knocked the breath out of her as if they’d snapped a rope around her chest again, making her stumble back. Her grip on the woman released, and she used the moment to leap over to her partner, using the bed as a buffer. He instantly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her half behind his back, but not before checking if Y/N’s dagger had pierced the skin.

Tears brimmed in the eleven woman’s green eyes as she looked at her, not even caring that just a moment before she was so close to having her blood dripping on the floor. “Please,” she whispered. “I – I know we didn’t go about it the right way, but please… is it true he’s alive?”

"I,” Y/N stammered, her gaze snapping back and forth between the two.

Astarion.

They were Astarion’s parents.

Even after all this time, they were searching for their missing son.

Y/N should have noticed the details – how the woman had a small mole on her cheek right where Astarion did, how the shape of the man’s eyes was the exact same as his son’s. Astarion even had the same high cheekbones as his mother while his sharp jaw was that of his father.

What had his eyes been like before? Green like his mother’s or the sky blue of his father's? What had he been like as a child? No doubt as mischievous and scheme-prone as he was now, but who had he gotten it from? So many different questions rattled through Y/N’s brain as she kept glancing back and forth, before shaking her head and pulling her out of the shocked stupor.

“You – you’re Ancunins?” She had to ask. Had to make sure she hadn’t overheard them or maybe hallucinating because of the powder she’d inhaled.

“Yes.” The woman nodded, brushing tears from under her eyes. “Our son has been missing for more than two hundred years, and we almost lost hope until… until we heard about you and your company a few years back. How one of the party members resembled our little Star so much.”

They hadn’t been inconspicuous, though they had tried, so it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise that tales of their adventures had gone far and wide, especially after saving Baldur’s Gate, killing Cazador and the absolute, and Gods know how many other evils along the way. But she never thought Astarion’s parents would have heard of it.

In fact, Astarion had barely even mentioned them over the years, and, for whatever reason, Y/N had concluded they must have passed, despite knowing elves lived extremely long lives. Had he maybe tried to find them on his own and couldn’t? Or had he forgotten about them?

Until Astarion and Y/N had become an official couple and she’d commissioned a portrait of him as a gift on an anniversary, he hadn’t even seen himself in two centuries. He’d forgotten what he looked like. It didn’t seem too crazy to assume, the memories of his parents’ names or their faces, might’ve slipped away as well, or even the love they had for him. Especially knowing how deeply Cazador had ruined that notion for him.

She needed to get home. She needed to see Astarion, and then she could figure out what to do.

“I need to go.” Y/N nodded to herself, muttering under her breath. “I need to think.”

“No, please!” the woman lunged, trying to grasp at her, but she had a knife pointed at her chest in an instant, making the elf shrivel back, but still, she pleaded. “Please help us. You’re the hero of Baldur’s Gate! If you can’t help, who will?”

“I promise I will do my best,” Y/N said. “But I need time… I – I need to figure all of this out.”

Her mind was swirling like a hurricane, but the man interrupted her breakdown as she realised how pretty much her in-laws, had kidnapped her. “At least tell us this – is – is it true he is alive? Or have we travelled across Faerun under the pretences of false hope?”

In truth, Y/N wanted to take them by the arms and drag them to her house, but whether Astarion wanted to reach out and reconnect, was up to him. That sort of a choice was not hers to make, but she could grant them this one request.

“He is.” Y/N nodded.

And then she left as quickly as she could because if she had to stand there and watch as the elves crumbled into one another, cries of relief and joy escaping into the slowly setting day, she would crumble too. Their faces were already permanently burned into her mind, and she needed a moment to process everything.

By a stroke of luck or fate, Y/N instantly recognised she was in the woods on the other side of Baldur’s Gate, so retracing her steps to the market was fairly easy even though the whole way back home, she was pretty much stumbling around in a daze, knocking into people and tripping over her own two legs.

Her discarded basket was right where she’d left it, gold coins scattered around it. The pouch must’ve broken during the struggle. Y/N made sure to pick every single piece up and was more than relieved to see, that the rose bloom was still intact.

By the time she arrived, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, and as the last rays warmed her back, she extended her palm to open the door, though she didn’t even get to touch the handle as it was ripped open by a visibly distressed Astarion.

His eyes looked like he’d been crying, his hair as if he’d been relentlessly raking his fingers through the locks and his lower lip so bitten, there was a small hole where one of his incisors had gone through.

“Oh, thank the Gods!” Astairon instantly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in a bone-crushing hug, burying his nose into the crook of her neck. “Thank the Gods!”

Y/N dropped the basket over the threshold and closed the door with her foot, her own arms weaving around his middle, a palm soothingly brushing along his side, as he soaked her in.

“I’m alright, Star,” she said, kissing his temple and didn’t even make a noise as he gripped her waist tighter, right where bruises were forming. “I’m sorry I was gone so long, but I’m alright.”

“What happened? You said you’d be quick, but you were gone for hours! And you know what the worst part was – I couldn’t even go out looking for you because of the damned fucking sun!” Astarion cupped her face, turning it this way and that way, trying to find any injuries, but the biggest one would be in her head as she tried to figure out how to explain to him what had happened. “Gods, I am never letting you out of my sight again!”

Y/N indulged the vampire in the hug he pulled her in, holding him against her chest, trying to comfort him, but she was way too consumed with her new findings. Too quickly, as evident by the frown on Astarion’s face, she untangled herself from the embrace, anxiety immediately flashing over his handsome features.

She slid her arms from around his waist to take his palms into hers. “I – I don’t even know how to say this… How do you say something like that?”

Worry instantly marred his brow, and Y/N pressed a practised thumb between them, trying to soothe them away.

“Shit…” he muttered. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No!” She cupped his cheeks. “Astarion you’ve done nothing!”

“Then – then what?” He was tentative, still, scared Y/N might be angry at him. Or worse – wanted to leave, but her next words erased all that doubt.

“I…” She took in a deep breath. “Astarion, I met your parents today.”

Whatever he had expected, clearly that hadn’t been it. Probably a confession she’d met a past love, that their feelings were reignited and she wanted to go with them. But definitely not that.

He blinked once, twice, trice, completely and utterly stupefied before a small whisper of “What?” passed his lips.

“It’s why I’m so late,” Y/N explained. “They’d heard a rumour, that I knew you and had travelled with you during our tadpole situation, and came to me. Astarion, your parents are looking for you…”

A million thoughts seemed to swirl in his head, but Y/N held onto his hand through all of them.

“What,” he cleared his throat, “what did you tell them?”

“That I’d find them once I figured out what to do?”

“Which means?”

“Which means I would come home, give you this information and let you figure out what you’d like to do…”

So many emotions flashed across his face, but Y/N no longer needed that mind flayer tadpole connection it created – Astarion was an open book for her to read.

Joy. Such indisputable joy shone in his scarlet eyes before being consumed by confusion. Then anger and disgust and love, but by the end of it all his heart settled on one feeling – fear.

It’s what it knew best, though Y/N had tried her hardest to reduce it to ashes, yet still it lingered. She understood it, despite not being happy he ever had to feel it.

He feared what to do, what would be the right choice to make, he feared their reactions and what they would say of his disappearance or of his newest… condition. Would they accept him? Or would they be repulsed by him?

“What – what would I even say to them?” Astarion searched her Y/E/C eyes as if they held an answer, but when one magically didn’t appear, he hung his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I can’t even remember what they looked like. Their names, the house we used to live in… it’s all a fog.”

Y/N tried to give him an encouraging smile. “Well, your mother – she has the most beautiful green eyes. Like that dress you made for me for Summer Solstice, that same shade. And – and she has a little beauty mark on her cheek.” With a gentle thumb, she brushed over the mole. “Right in that same spot.”

His brows furrowed in concentration; his lips pinched tightly. “I – I remember blue eyes. Not green.”

“That might be your father's. His are azure I’d say. Like the summer sky. Gods, Astarion,” Y/N breathed out. “You look so much like them, but… honestly, the only thing you need to know right now is that they looked relieved.” Her voice was soothing as he tried to find lies in her words, but there would be none. “I didn’t tell them anything apart from the fact that you’re alive, and all I saw was complete and utter relief.”

Y/N placed a strand of hair behind his ear as he pondered. His carmine eyes slid to hers. “Do they want to see me?”

“Yes. It was the whole reason they sought me out because I might have a single scrap of information on you.” She’d mention the kidnapping later. Or maybe never, depending on how everything went. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

“Is it,” he hesitated, as if ashamed to be asking such a question. “Is it alright if I think this over for a bit? I’m just – there’s so much going on in my head…”

“Of course, Star!” Y/N cupped his cheeks and placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, his shoulders dropping, but she just shook her head.

“Nothing to thank me for. Not for this.”

And so, they continued on like that for a few days – Y/N didn’t bring the subject up, but she made sure Astarion knew, she’d be there whenever he needed to talk. Yet her mind couldn’t help but worry about the two elves in that little cottage on the other side of the town. How horrid it must be to wait for an answer that might never come, but her love was her first and only priority. When he decided it would be time, she’d support him no matter what.

It was a week after the revelation (and subsequent freakout on Astarion’s part when Y/N had removed her clothes before him, and he saw the raw skin and bruises on her ribs. She spent the whole night convincing him it was fine and talking him down from hunting the mercenary and bleeding him dry. She didn’t mention it had been his parents who’d hired him but rather said it had been an unfortunate coincidence), when Astarion awoke with a certain determination, shaking her awake.

She swatted at him like an insect buzzing by her ear. “Leave me be, you blood-sucking, elf!” Y/N grumbled, burying herself under the duvet. “It’s too early. And stop hogging the covers!”

She was just about to elbow him in the ribs if he didn’t let her sleep more, but what he said was like cold ice being poured over her, waking her up completely.

“I think I want to see my parents.”

Y/N was sat in a second. The sheet dropped down, exposing her naked chest, but she didn’t even feel the chilly air biting at her skin, even though Astarion’s gaze immediately dropped down to her breasts, eyes blazing with want.

Rolling her own eyes, she pulled the cover so that it obscured her indecency. Though it was his favourite outfit of hers, they needed to focus on the important things. “Are you sure? You can take all the time you need. There is no rush to this, and it’s a huge decision to make.”

“I’m sure,” Astarion sighed, running a hand through his moon-white locks and dropping back onto the pillows. “It’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about.”

Y/N worried her lip before sliding back down next to him, letting him wrap his arms around her body. She knew in moments like these, Astarion needed reassurance, and he craved being close to her. Holding her grounded him, and made his scattered thoughts into something solid.

She kissed right above where his heart lay. “If, you’re sure.”

“I am… I just… Will you be there?” Astarion looked down at her.

The woman gave him a smile. “Nowhere I’d rather be than by your side.”

Gently, he brushed a finger against her cheekbone and leaned to kiss her, thankful he’d found someone to walk the world with, especially during the moments he feared he might break.

The day before they’d decided on meeting, Y/N ventured out to the cabin to inform the elven couple of Astarion’s decision. Once they’d seen her walking up through the window, they were out before she even managed to get to the door, faces full of hope.

“Astarion, he wants to come and see you, but there are some… conditions…”

His mother’s brow furrowed, the grimace so familiar it sent a pang through Y/N’s heart, but she swallowed it. “Whatever he needs. Whatever you both need. Anything for our little Star.”

“So… please just don’t question this, but umm… physical contact – I know I can’t possibly understand how you feel, but let him come to you first. It might not make sense, but it’s important that he is the one to make that step.”

“Of course,” Astarion's father nodded, his mother eagerly agreeing.

“And umm… he’ll be different. He might not look like the elf you remember him being. The world wasn’t kind to him for a long time… Please don’t mention this.”

Pain flashed across their faces at her words. They must have assumed something horrible had happened to him, but to have it confirmed was a different kind of agony. But as Y/N had asked – they didn’t question, simply nodded, holding onto one another a bit tighter.

“Alright.” Her heart was somewhat settled. “Thank you. We – uh- we’ll see you later tonight then.”

And with that, she left only to find Astarion pacing the inside of their hallway upon her return.

“Is it sundown already?” He snapped his neck to her as she removed her cloak, visibly upset when Y/N shook her head.

“A couple more hours, I’m afraid,” she said, taking his hand and kissing his palm, placing it against her cheek. “Please stop worrying. It will all be alright.”          

“But what if I’m making a mistake?”

She raised her brow. “Do you think you’re making a mistake?”

“N-no?” Astarion huffed. “I don’t know. I know I want to see them at least once, but what if it’s best to leave the past in the past? Why torture myself and exhume it, so to speak?”

“You can leave it all behind if that’s what you wish. But, Star, you also have the rarest of opportunities people get – a second chance.” She stepped close to him, pulling his head down by the nape of his neck so they could rest their foreheads against one another. “But you can always leave. You can always say “no.” And if someone doesn’t get that, no matter who they might be, I will gut them navel to throat.”

Astarion chuckled, brushing his nose against hers. “My knight in bloody armour, always ready to ride into battle for me.”

Y/N pecked his lips in response. “As long as I get my kisses at the end of it – without a second to spare.”

They spent the couple of hours waiting until the sun went down cleaning up around the house and then it was time to go.

As Astarion took a deep breath before closing the door, Y/N squeezed his hand. “We can turn back whenever you want to.”

But he seemed determined, only giving her a reassuring smile and twining their fingers together, her hand in his solid hold.

They walked slowly, enjoying the warm night gracing Baldur’s Gate, and soon enough they were through the city and past the woods, a small log cabin coming into view.

He stopped them a few feet away, taking in a moment to gather his thoughts and emotions.

Y/N glanced at him encouragingly. “Are you ready, Star?”

Astarion took in a deep breath, held it in for a moment and then exhaled, nodding. With this confirmation, she released his hand and ventured to the door, gently rapping her knuckles against it, immediately returning to stand beside her lover.

Instantly his palm was back into hers, as if he needed her to ground him, reassure him everything would be alright as nervous energy coursed through his veins while they waited for the inhabitants to come and see them. And though it was probably no more than ten seconds since she’d knocked, it felt like time had stood still. Once the doors opened, even nature quieted down.

The breeze shushed the tweeting birds and seemingly even the worms digging underground stopped their burrowing as finally, after two hundred years, the lost Ancunin son returned.

They stood like that for what seemed like ages, just taking one another in, before a small sob of Astarion’s name from his mother’s lips broke the spellbound silence.

It’s when he rushed for her, the elf already on her feet, meeting him halfway. Her arms wrapped tight around his body, hands smoothing down the back of his head as all the while she kept whispering “My Star, my little Star, you’re home.”

Y/N was on standby, ready to rip her away if Astarion became overwhelmed. She’d asked them to allow him to be the one to make the first step, and they had, but with such all-encompassing feelings, she just wanted him to be safe.

Though all that anxiety dissipated like ice under the blazing hear of the sun when Astarion practically melted against his mother, his fingers digging into her shoulders and back as if he never wished to be let go, both of them crumbling to their knees, still in each other’s embrace.

Tears welled along Y/N’s bottom lashes and when his father joined them, wrapping his arms around his family, they fell like rain on an autumn evening. She had to press a hand against her mouth to not sob out loud, but it didn’t seem like anyone would care, as Y/N noted Astarion’s shoulders shaking while his mother and father were freely crying, all the while touching and caressing his face, trying to ingrain the memory of having their son back in their arms.

She couldn’t imagine that feeling, didn’t ever want to, of finally being reunited with a family which you were so brutally ripped away from. Y/N almost wanted to resurrect Cazador, just so she could drive a stake through his heart again, but that might’ve been a bit too morbid of a thought in such a tender moment.

“You’re home.” His mother pulled back, cupping Astarion’s cheeks and smiling from ear to ear. “Our little Star is back home.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” he choked out, but his father shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re here. That’s enough for us.”

Y/N watched as he took in the people who’d searched for him relentlessly. He never knew they’d never given up. She wondered if there would be a time, he’d believe he was worth all it. She certainly hoped so.

“Thank you,” the elf with eyes like jade said, snapping her eyes towards Y/N. “You have no idea what kind of a gift you’ve bestowed upon us. We will never be able to repay you.”

She could only wave them off, a knot in her throat. “You owe me nothing. Seeing this – this is enough for me. I’ll – uh – I’ll leave you to it then.”

Just as she was about to turn around, Astarion jumped to his feet, untangling himself from the limbs of his parents, eyes full of concern. “What? Why? What’s wrong?” He was by her side in an instant, pulling her hand to rest against his chest.

“Nothing!” Y/N shook her head. “I just – I just think maybe I should take my leave. I can be back in a few hours if you’d like, but this just all seems like – like a private family reunion.”

Astarion scoffed, his free arm weaving around her waist, completely offended. “And what exactly do you think you are to me if not family, my love? Arguably, you might be the most important part of it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that -,”

“Hush now!” he scolded her. “You promised to be by my side through everything. Are you breaking that promise?”

“No, I just,” she stammered. “Are you sure you don’t want me to leave you to it? This just feels awfully personal.”

“My love, you are the keeper of my heart. You are my true home.” Astarion cupped her cheek, resting his brow against hers, chest against chest, not caring who might see. “Without you, none of this would have happened. I could still be on that beach with a mind flayer tadpole wriggling behind my eye.” He took her hand, and kissed her knuckles, sighing as they brushed against his jaw. “I don’t want to do this without you. I want to relearn who my parents are, and I want them to get to know me, but a non-negotiable part of that is you. That is if it’s alright with you?”

A tear slipped down her cheek, as she looked deep into those ruby eyes that once held nothing but fear and pain, only to now show love and compassion and happiness. When she smiled, her grin could have rivalled the sun itself. “I’d be honoured.”

When they glanced at the two elves by the threshold of the house, they noted the horrified looks on their faces. Astarion’s guard was immediately up, but his mother beat him to it.

“My Star, I am so sorry!” She put a hand over her mouth. “We swear we didn’t know you two were lovers! We just...” She glanced at her husband in desperation, but it seemed the little scene they’d put on had rendered him speechless. “Had we known, we would have never…”

Astarion squinted at her, a dangerous note appearing in his voice. “Never would have what?”

“Oh Gods, we had your partner kidnapped,” his father finally got out, eyes only widening in more shock as it settled that Y/N wasn’t just a travelling companion or a friend, but just what she really meant to Astarion.

“You did what?!” His head snapped to Y/N who now retreated to stand between the two shocked elves, and her quite furious boyfriend.

“Astarion, it’s alright,” she tried to calm him down. “They didn’t know! Besides, I heard them arguing with that mercenary. They didn’t hurt me. In fact, I,” she let out a nervous chuckle, “I held a knife to your mother’s throat. So, call it even and let’s move past it?”

His gaze was hot like the flames, as it burned into her. “We will discuss this later.” He pointed an accusatory finger at her before taking a deep breath and exhaling. “This is absolutely not how I ever imagined a family reunion to go, let alone the introduction of my partner.”

Y/N’s shoulders dropped as he broke the settled tension, but something in his eyes told her she’d pay for her omissions. And oh, how delicious that punishment would be.

His mother still seemed to be all nerves as she invited them inside, spouting apologies in Y/N’s direction, but when she took the elf's hand in hers and gave a comforting embrace, she relaxed a little. “Let’s let the bygones be bygones.”

“I’d appreciate that,” she smiled, and wrinkles of age and time appeared around her eyes.

It was awkward at first, two centuries of hurt laying between them, two centuries of torture on Astarion’s end, of lost love and people, but slowly they opened up. And when his mother mentioned how he always used to bury his nose into strawberry fields, because it reminded him of his mother’s hair care products, it was like a damn had been opened.

The memories were still there, buried under layers of pain and horrors, but there. Maybe a little jumbled up and out of sorts, but with every hour spent together, locks were being broken and a light long lost lit up again.

Astarion had changed, but so had his parents. He let them know of his adventures, how he met Y/N and how she had turned his world upside down but abstained from the more gruesome parts. He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but if he so wished, she knew his parents would be there to listen and welcome his vulnerably with open arms.

An hour before the sun resumed its place in the sky, Y/N nudged Astarion, telling him it was time to leave. She had little doubt in her mind, his parents had caught onto what he was, even if they hadn’t mentioned Cazador. If not for the shape of his elongated canines, or the colour of his eyes, which Y/N had found out had been a beautiful shade of pale green, then because of the brutal scars on his neck. But they still pulled him into a hug with such vigour, it was like they feared they’d never see him again, which was probably a thought always haunting their minds.

“Would – would you like to come over to ours?” Astarion asked, still holding onto his mother’s hands. “It’s a bit of a mess, our place, but if you come after the sun’s down, I’m sure we can have it proper enough to take on guests.”

It was an odd request, but thankfully, neither his mother nor father said anything about the specific time request, simply hugged him once more and promised to be by their door the second the sun dipped, wine and lemon cakes in hand.

As they waved their goodbyes, Astarion slipped his palm into Y/N’s and made sure they walked all the way back like that. Once behind a closed door, he pulled her into his chest relishing in the way their bodies melded together – two puzzle pieces finally connecting and forming the most magnificent picture to exist.

“What is it like to be finally home?” Y/N asked as he swayed them to a tune only, he heard.

Astarion shook his head, pulling slightly back so he could cup her jaw. “My love, I have been home for a long time now. I’ve been safe and cared for, all thanks to you.” His eyes were so full of love and adoration, she almost choked on a breath. “Now… now it just feels complete. So thank you… thank you for being my home,” he muttered that little confession against her skin, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you for keeping me safe.”

“Always, my love.” Y/N didn’t hide the tears rolling down her face and he brushed them away with a soft thumb. “Always.”

When their gazes locked, all she could see was excitement for what the new day had to offer, and she knew whatever was in store, as long as they were by one another’s side, there was nothing they couldn’t overcome.

But for all that, there was an important thing she was unaware of.

As Y/N entered their living room, talking to herself and making a list of what they had to do before his parents arrived, Astarion stood and watched her, leaning against the doorframe, all the while his hands rested in his pocket, where in one of them, a beautiful ring was being twirled between his fingers.

Before they’d left, his mother had slyly pulled it off her own hand, pressing it into his palm, and whispering to him while hugging that she didn’t want to see Y/N without it the next time around.

Astarion had no intention of living his life without Y/N as his fiancé for a second longer.

When she turned around to find him on one knee, he didn’t even get to ask the question before she responded with a shout of “Yes!” and jumped on him, pulling him into a kiss he swore breathed life into his still chest.

He couldn’t wait to reintroduce Y/N to his parents as his intended.

Now all was as it should be. He was finally home. And somewhere in the garden, a rose bloomed in full.

Tags:

Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @m-a-t-91 @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @lestersglitterglue @im-squished @strangersstranger

Astarion tags: @spacebarbarianweird

A/N: This idea was inspired by that one post of a painting Astarion's parents probably had of him, but had put away somewhere just so they didn't have to look a the son they lost, so I rectified it (Link to the inspo pic :) :( Now they have a portrait of Astarion and his love right above their fire place :)

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. please don't plagiarise or repost on other platforms.

[istharoth]

WickChat Articles

Cause I'm nosy like that-

Prologue Chapter 33:

#2 - Probably referring to Taiga? #4- I need to knowwwwww who the demon is. (Also, the only one not posted by an anon 👀) [In this specific post at least.] SPEAKING OF! WHO THE HECK IS AN ENGINEER AT DARKWICK?!

Episode 1, Chapter 26:

#4 - Just a thought but what if it were Subaru who posted that?

Episode 2: Chapter 9

The last one, Nicolas one is so real!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THOSE DIONYSIA KIDS, NICOLAS!! WHY COULDNT YOU POTENTIALLY USE THEM WHEN HARU WAS SICK!!

Interesting how the [PC] can see and interact with Zenji's posts before the Hotarubi chapter. [Unless they're posted by Haku, but that's too Zenji to be Haku.] [in a good way]

"Battle of the Titans Part 2." - Lowkey thinking about Haku-Jin vs. Tohma-Mido.

Episode 5: Chapter 15

#2- Also looking for a man I met in my dreams. /j THOUGH!! Technically speaking, did the PC meet anyone in a dream? Unless you count the events at Kisaragi Station to be a dream-? Though, that's pretty unlikely. PS: This is the third time the 'bet you don't know this anomaly' has appeared. Since it was first posted when the PC came to the academy, two months have passed since she began the Hotarubi mission.

Kaito briefly mentioned the dissidents would be happy in the prologue. Though that was for Vagastrom having two ghouls that would affect the power balance. I think Zenji and Suba were in Hotarubi from the start?

Episode 5: Chapter 13

#1- lolol, first the Biwa, then Haku supposedly recording others [but he was just recording Zenji] then the doll. #4- Even I wanna know what happened at Emrys for Luca to become a transfer student :< #3- In the og version of the game, there was a character named Mitake Takumi. [Found on animo lol] Though I don't think it's related =x= [Wonder if he was Sho's prototype/beta]

Edward behind a suspect in the murder of the One-Eyed Sleeping Beauty feels like a stretch ngl. [It's just kinda weird? He's an old man, the strongest vamp, sure but he's an old man who watches youtube streams all day.] [Bro was probably sleeping when the Clash occurred. UNLESS it occurred at night, then it's believable he killed someone.] In the prologue, Kaito starts telling us a rumour about the Captain of Obscuary but is stopped when Cornelius interrupts because of the prophecy. [iirc] But, the One-Eyed Sleeping Beauty caused the clash. The suspects are: 1) Jiro Kirisaki - [1st year at the time] 2) Alan Mido - [2nd year at the time] 3) Towa Otonashi - [Ist year at the time] 4) Rui Mizuki - [2nd year at the time] 5) Edward Hart - [399 years old at the time??]/[2nd year at the time] If the PC is the One-Eyed Sleeping Beauty from another timeline, it's very surprising that Taiga isn't on the list. Bro even wants to forget his memories of the day he arrived in Darkwick so nothing would ever happen. [Taiga's so weird man. I love him.]

[sol-consort]

Hallo! i know little to nothing about Mass Effect and tbh all ur posts on here are getting me curious so when i can i think i might buy the games :) it also looks?? so pretty?? Im excited 2 see this blog grow hopefully and i hope you have fun with it and the game!

That is the highest of praise, thank you so much <3

Okay so, I'm assuming you're on pc too. If not, then tell me and I'll search around for ps or xbox deals and price history.

I recommend getting the legendary edition! It's three whole games and their dlc in one pack. It's original price is 60$ but during sale it goes down to 6$ which is a steal honestly, the game is phenomenal so far as an rpg and shooter.

And there is romance in it too! The characters are reoccurring and you can import your save from the first game to the second and third so the people and quests will be shaped to fit your story and choices in the previous game.

Here is the steam db sale link.

The last time it went on sale was during steam winter feast, and based on it's history it goes on sale on the 19th of January too! So maybe very soon, hopefully. If not, then there is also lunar New years on 27th of January.

Based on this chart, it's been going on sale very often, and the price keeps getting lower. So hopefully you'll get it even cheaper than I did. God knows I'd rather choke on acid than pay 60$ for a game. We don't count bg3 that was...a once a year purchase for my birthday.

I don't recommend paying full price at all, it falls off in comparison to today's 60$ games. Please wait for a sale.

I'm also new to this game! I've been playing it for the past week, and so, and oh my god, it stole all of my attention and heart. The fandom isn't...friendly, and it's mostly 35y+ people, so the fanfics are old-school millennial style.

But honestly, that's fine. We can make our own space. And I'm very open to requests for fanfics <3

The game does have some queer representation, which is nice. Even tho the first game is very old.

It's very easy, difficulty wise, and I am someone who sucks at shooter games. I've beaten far cry 4 with a bow. I can help you with anything you have questions about or need guidance for!

Again thank you so much Aaaa this made me very happy <3 it does feel lonely here by myself at times so I'm very grateful that you're willing to give this game a try. And it does have clear dnd themes in gith, drows and mindflayers if you're here from the bg3 blog. But they're just themes again and they take a lot of creatively in switching up these concepts. Mass effect is genuinely so beautiful! It feels like what starfield should've been at times. I keep staring at the planets and stars.

[ggchamo]

Games of 2020 | The Year of the Backlog

I wrote this back in December 2020 on Medium.

The coronavirus pandemic affected everything, including what I did to entertain myself and keep myself sane through this global ongoing tragedy. My productive and type A side really showed up, as I made it a point to log every single game I played this year, with over 1200 hours of total play time across my PC, switch, and PS4/PS5.

My “Games 2020” spreadsheet started this with only a few columns — “Did I beat?” and “High-Level Thoughts,” which grew and grew until I had multiple disorganized google docs where I journaled emotions, thoughts, critiques, questions, and experiences through playing over 60 games this year. I started my Games 2020 spreadsheet with the goal of finally getting through my video game library and beating as many games as possible.

This “conquering the backlog” goal proved to be impossible and fruitless, more of a north star than an actual achievement. I had a library full of unplayed games that just kept ballooning from discounts as retailers moved all their efforts and deals online, and monthly free games on Epic Games Store, PS Plus, Nintendo Online Collections, and even a service like Xbox Game Pass pushed what the term “backlog” really is.

To say this year had some ups and downs would be an understatement — there were moments when it felt useless to go through my backlog as this monster kept increasing and deepening with more and more games, and a lethargy set in. I got to the point that I stopped trying to finish certain games for a variety of reasons — Gear of War 5 never got exciting for me even after the big reveal that shocked Gears fans, Cyberpunk 2077 has some insane performance issues even on my mid-tier gaming rig that I know will be patched in the future, and after 10 hours, I still don’t feel like I don’t fully understand what’s going on in the Hitman games. Doesn’t mean I won’t go back to these games in the future, but a large feeling I came away with was lowkey guiltiness about not beating and playing through my backlog.

Part of the guiltiness was potentially the financial commitment of buying and playing games. Growing up with humble beginnings, my backlog as a kid was limited to GBA games I had, that turned into DS games, and that eventually turned into a few Gamecube and Wii games. I didn’t have a massive library or access to even the games that were the largest cultural touchstones during the late 2000s and early 2010s such as Halo on Xbox, Kingdom Hearts on PS2, or really anything outside of Nintendo. So when I got back into gaming in 2017 with the Switch, I went overboard trying to buy a bunch of games to try. By 2020, my library has way too many games to count and more than a handful of ones I have not even played more than one or two sessions at all.

Potentially the other part of this guiltiness was knowing that there were some true gems in my library — I keep up with critiques and games journalism, so my library is full of games people really like and really root for. My library is full of very critically-lauded or celebrated games such as Outer Wilds, Monster Hunter, Witcher 3, Dark Souls III, and more that I just am not going to finish this year. Even after I tried all of these amazing games for some time, and I think I might understand what makes all of them tick — I just don’t have the energy or really the interest to continue playing them. Maybe trying to beat all of them or play through all of them won’t lead to actually overcoming this guiltiness.

My conceit with my backlog is this — I accept defeat. I’ll never be able to get through everything, and that’s okay. Since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to get to the point that I could play anything and now that I’m there, I’ve struggled to adjust. I have to accept that no one person can play through everything that is good or even everything that is great, you can only play as much as you have the capacity to.

Despite accepting defeat, there were some great moments and games over my 1200 hours this year, here are my games of 2020, in semi-chronological order of when I played and organized in how it makes sense to me. Enjoy. :)

Not a surprise — this game was a smash success this year, coming out very early in the pandemic in mid-March. I cannot overstate this, this video game was my life from April until July. It affected almost every one of my digital relationships and it even led to reconnecting with old friends and family, something that was sorely missing during this pandemic and life in quarantine.

In short, you live on an island and can pay off your mortgage for your home. It’s got fashion, home design, flowers, crafting, relationships, exploration, looting, absolutely everything you would want in a game.

I can’t even describe the gameplay without taking into account that I shared my island with my girlfriend (who at this point we were only living together physically for about 6 months). We struggled in the beginning — stepping on each other’s toes making decisions on the island, bringing in villagers became a discussion on whether we liked them, and even decided who was going to play the switch when was another thing to take into account.

The conceit was splitting the island in half, which eventually turned into splitting the island up into 75% her and 25% me. After we got the highest accomplishment of having a 5-star island after a collective 300 hours in the game, I fell off hard. My gf persisted, and eventually my area became more closed off and fenced in as she kept expanding and bringing in new villagers.

When I came back, I saw my house filled with cockroaches, overgrown flowers, and half-finished projects, as well as some new villagers that I didn’t recognize. Yet when I look back, I have so many fond memories of discovery, accomplishment, and a feeling of being a part of a community at a time when we were forced to be home away from friends and family. This game is tremendous and was a huge part of my life for that period of time — I’ll never forget the island of Wickerr.

I was so hyped for Last of Us Part II, that I played through every Uncharted game this year in preparation, given that they were the first games by Naughty Dog, one of the most respected and well known video game developers due to their games’ movie ambitions and life-like graphics. I had initially played Uncharted 4 last year as one of the first games on my new PS4, so I bought the Uncharted Collection and kept it on the backburner for quite a few months.

The excitement to learn about Naughty Dog’s development style and practices gave me the drive to finally play through the (very similar) first three games that can be found in the Uncharted Collection. I also played through the short but sweet Uncharted Lost Legacy, which had side character Chloe as the protagonist and blew me away with what Naughty Dog could fit into a 6 hour game (we need more games like this.)

My main takeaway on the Uncharted Collection is that these games have affected all of game design and AAA development. It seems like every game that I’ve played is trying to be as cinematic and as tightly-designed as what Naughty Dog produces (Gears of War 5 and Jedi Fallen Order come as examples of games that were heavily inspired by the Naughty Dog formula), so playing the first few Uncharted games made for a great experience in seeing what the original blueprint was before the continued iterations.

Yet, the dated gunplay (the first Uncharted came out on PS3 13 years ago) holds back these games from being timeless classics, their treatment of female characters has not aged well (also really wasn’t good then either), and their set pieces have now been obviously outclassed by the PS4’s Uncharted 4 and Lost Legacy. But as someone who missed out on these during their PS3 heyday, it was awesome going back in time to prepare for Naughty Dog’s latest and greatest, Last of Us Part II.

So many thoughts about this game, but let me start with I would not recommend this if you haven’t played the first one, Last of Us (Remastered).Play the first one and see if you like it and then pick this one up. It builds from the characters and story from the first one to make a full-fledged sequel (and then some) and also builds on the initial one’s gameplay to create a very detailed and lush game world.

So my high-level thoughts are that this game is a chore. It requires so much effort, commitment, and grit to get through its depressing, hard-to-swallow, and tremendously long 36 hour single player campaign. But no other game’s story this year has impacted me more, especially how Naughty Dog has perfected bringing you as the player directly into the cutscenes and the story. It was a chore because I as a player was forced to play through some of the hardest moments in the story, commit brutal murders and do things that I disagreed with as an audience member. This dynamic has rubbed a lot of folks the wrong way given how the game handles violence as both a theme in the story and as the main mechanic in the game. Overall, I think it was amazing and has a story that only can be told and experienced through video games as a medium (let’s ignore the just-announced HBO show for a second, lol).

For me as a fan of the first game that had intense hype for this, I am left accepting the direction that they took the second game and what happened, even though it was disappointing that it didn’t reach the heights of the first game. What it did instead was flesh out the world and the gameplay even more so to really solidify this type of game as its own genre.

Now here’s a hot take — I don’t know if we need a Last of Us Part III. After playing this massive game I’m left wondering — what is there left to say about this story and this world now that they’ve gone and expanded it over three playable characters with different movesets, guns, motives, styles, etc.? There is space to reboot and move the theme to something else, take the gameplay systems that they’ve created and go to a net new story with a different focus.

Overall, this game really is up there in terms of some of the best storytelling, even when it’s a horrible story to tell. I think after playing this, I can stomach almost anything. Even a game like Wilmot’s Warehouse.

Now on the opposite end of the spectrum, — Wilmot’s Warehouse is a relaxed game about being the sole employee in a massive warehouse. You organize up to 200 different items/square in said warehouse into whatever makes the most sense to you. The game orders you to pull from anything you have stored, which is where the memory element comes into play — it was a brilliant distraction from all the hardcore shooters that I played this year. After playing The Last of Us Part II, it was exactly what I needed when I played it this summer — a rat-brain game that supplied tons of dopamine while lightly massaging my brain to remember where things were stored.

I highly recommend this game for anybody — it requires a little commitment to organize and remember where everything is so it’s not immediately “pick up and play”, but it really was a special experience due to its laid back nature and very clean and satisfying aesthetic. I joked to some buddies that this would be my GOTY 2020, and here it is — a refreshing little game that is a must play!

Service Games: Division 2, Overwatch, Fortnite, and Destiny 2 (in that order)

I have grouped up the four big “service” games I played this year into one category — what they all have in common is that they replaced one another and will continue to do so in the future. I learned that I really can’t commit to more than one service game at a time, these are supposed to be endless, these 4 games alone accounted for over 400 hours of time I spent playing games this year.

While awesome, this game’s premise is a little too Blue Lives Matter for me — you play as part of The Division, a group of government sleeper agents that activates when a massive pandemic uproots society (uh….. hits too close to home lol). Yet, I played a ton on PS4 last year and put in a solid amount of time playing with buddied on my new gaming PC right before quarantine.

Then our own pandemic hit the US, and I REALLY got into Overwatch a 6v6 team-based character shooter. I don’t even know how to describe it succinctly - through grit and grinding, I became a part of the Overwatch community, a monolith that is now almost 5 years old. Coming into this community late came with some big frustrations — a key one being comparing myself to others in the community. Because the game’s skill ceiling is so high and the community is so focused on “getting good” and playing well, I struggled to fit in first starting out as a trash player.

I thought I wasn’t any good and would apologize for making mistakes even though it’s impossible to not make mistakes in this game — there are over 30 characters that all play very differently and the game is extremely deep. I didn’t feel like I really was adding anything to my team, mostly worried about not making mistakes and providing some value.

Yet, I appreciated the depth of the game and had a ton of fun with the game when I got my sea legs and stopped caring about wins and losses. With all my free time, I joined the Overwatch subreddit, and got into Overwatch Twitch streamers (yeatle, harbleu, jake_ow, FRAN, just to name a few) and I really enjoyed and followed closely the esport by watching Overwatch League. Yet, the insecurities caught up with me during the darkest time this year — when I was trying to get a gold gun.

Long story short, getting a gold gun is a massive grind that requires winning over 130 “Competitive” games. People in the community either grind for the guns or wait until they naturally get enough points by playing a few games of competitive over a few years. As someone who was new to the community, I assigned so much value to having a gold gun. This is where the pain began, lol. My win rate for competitive is south of 50%, because the game is fucking 5 years old and even someone like me who plays a bunch, I’m still fucking trash compared to the people in my lobbies.

Grinding for the gun all in one go wasn’t a mistake in retrospect, but it was a massive effort that forced me to learn some hard lessons about finding joy in accomplishments would be down on myself when losing, even my relationships with friends were strained when playing together and having long losing streaks, even the game chat proved to be toxic given how ugly unfiltered conversation during a team-based shooter can get.

As soon as I got the gold gun finally, I achieved clarity — that wasn’t fun and I don’t want to play it anymore. I put the game down and haven’t really found much reason to pick it up again. The game is pretty dead because Overwatch 2: The Squeakquel comes out in a few months. But I will remember that this was the year that I played a ton of the game and really became part of a community.

After the awful experience with playing competitive Overwatch, I came into Fortnite with bright eyes and a pretty clear goal — get to level 100 of the battle pass for this past Marvel-based season. This proved to be very easy and obtainable without grinding, just casually playing the game a little bit got me there very soon. In some ways, I think of Fortnite as the best service game because of how much it awards just playing the game (and it’s variety of game modes), as opposed to just winning. Also this game fully utilized cross-play and cross-platform progression, making this game that much easier to pick up and play. Even the community on subreddit for this game is a lot less toxic, in no small part because the community leans younger, so there was less pressure to be good even when this is a battle royale game!

A long time coming — I finally got into this game after Bungie reset and took out hundreds of hours of content. I’ve put in tons of hours knowing I will put in more, I really enjoyed when I was in the loop of having micro and macro goals I was working towards and grinding for better loot and more experience. Yet, this game is massively deep (compared to Fortnite lol) — it is a straight up MMO with an endless treadmill that I eventually found my way off, knowing I will get back on. Making my own experiences, playing socially with friends and enjoying the very well refined gun-play (the first Destiny is similar and came out in 2014), and the satisfaction of completing objectives made this one of the best service games I played this year.

Undisputed king shit. At one point, after losing to the final boss so many times I just wrote in my journal “I am so close, what a rush. I NEED TO WIN.”

This game’s premise is that you play as Zagreus, a sexy son of a God (lol) that needs to escape Hell and your overbearing papi Hades. The story evolves and grows into a massive Greek myth epic, whose details are still being revealed even after I did over 90 runs. I know this game got its hooks in me once I started learning the mechanics and combat and realizing that the game was continuing to award my gameplay with even more story, and more things to do/unlock, and more “loot”/weapons/trinkets to chase — it really has everything. It’s a modern classic that is built like a service game with a massive amount of content after being in early access for two years.

The final boss fight is nerve-wracking the first few times, because the whole premise of a roguelike is to beat the final boss. Yet, the game requires you to do this multiple times, so you’ll see new dialogue options every single time you go. There was a moment where I was very nervous before the fight that I took a deep breath, and then I saw that the player character, Zagreus did the same. That moment was so carefully orchestrated - the designers really thought about how the player would feel in that moment. It was amazing, and just one of many of those moments I felt while playing the game, like the game really cared about me as a player. Highly recommended, even if you think roguelikes are not for you — this game changed my mind.

This game was my first platinum ever (that’s when you 100% a game on PlayStation) and really has a soft spot in my heart. The game’s little delight and light-hearted subject matter and energy was what I needed to close out this fucking year and really made me realize that it’s more about the gameplay and moment-to-moment joy than it is about accomplishing something.

This is a 3D platformer set within a PS5 with different worlds for the different components (GPU, CPU, Memory, and Storage) with lots of little references to older Sony games. The platforming was fun and very tightly designed, the collectibles and all the details about the world were super nice to look at, and it was a great demo for next-gen with the focus on the new DualSense controller. I want to play more short and sweet games like this — this is Sony ripping a page out of Nintendo’s playbook by looking back at their vast history and bringing some light-hearted story and doing it to perfection.

Honorable Mentions:

These are games either I haven’t played enough or finished and thought that the game was impressive but it didn’t make the top of my list this year.

Control: Spooky and atmospheric with a very trippy story, this game runs horribly on old consoles so it was my first litmus test to how good my new PC was, and it ran…. fine lol #pcgamerlife

Journey and A Short Hike: Short, one sitting games that made an impact on me, but I forgot about them after playing them. These are very good and I do recommend if you can get these for free or for a very low price.

Spiderman: Miles Morales: Still playing through this one. Very similar to the first Spiderman game, but the story has more heart given it’s smaller scope and focus on the individual characters. I hope developers learn that you can have great commercial success if you end up centering your stories on POC!

Bloodborne: My brother got me into this game late this year, and I think this is going to be a classic for me once I put more than the initial few hours I’ve played so far. Potentially I may become someone that is into Soulsborne games, thanks to this delightfully challenging horror sandbox.

Closing Thoughts:

I’ve learned through this “Games 2020” project that the one thing that differentiates video games from other entertainment mediums like TV, books, movies, podcasts, etc. is that they are also accomplishments. In this year of the backlog, I realized that all accomplishments are not built the same. I was happier accomplishing some things over others when I tried playing through my library. I played over 60 different games this year, yet certain memories faded quicker than others (e.g. I spent 10 hours on both Devil May Cry 5 and Wilmot’s Warehouse, yet one obviously made much more of an impact on me.)

After “conquering” my backlog this year, I’ve learned to worry less about accomplishing more and more about accomplishing less going into 2021.

[turtlemagnum]

i think it's funny how the electronics shortage of 2020 onwards has so thoroughly fucked over the PS5 and xbox series x/s. the series x has sold less than the fucking gamecube and even the original xbox (both not especially well selling guys), and the PS5 apparently hasn't even outsold the nintendo game & watch. i think the PS5's failure is especially funny since like, literally every other mainline PS console is in the top 10 of best selling consoles of all time, even the PS3 which was up until this point, the biggest flop of the PS series. it's sold almost less than half of what the NES/famicom sold in the fucking 80s, and it's actually sold less than half than the fucking 3DS, which was literally the weakest selling of the mainline nintendo handhelds if you don't count the virtual boy (which, i don't). which, to be clear, this isn't a blind nintendo fanboy thing of "haha i like it when non nintendo company fail", but moreso a bit of schadenfreude at massive corporations failing because A. i'm a communist and B. ok maybe it is a little bit of thinking that these platforms are relatively shit to nintendo, but moreso PC where you can get all of the good games that come out for these consoles anyways (and also pretty much any pre-wiiu nintendo console, god i love emulation and piracy)

[the-kipsabian]

im avoiding everything else i should be doing today by making a list of all my video games

im at 171 and not even near the end of everything :’)

[plumbbae]

Awwlllright besties, after almost 5 days of forgetting, not being in the mood, or not being able to do it, it's FINALLY TIME!!! lol (esp considering it’s literally Halloween but we won’t think of that ok!!!) Anyways!!

It's Simblreen!! (& for you normies- Halloween heh heh) Now, it's apparent, but incase you didn't know, I don't make cc lmao so I don't have that to give out for the holiday. But I still wanted to do SOMEthing for it since it's my 1st one & I didn’t wanna be left out in the festivities. (even tho the festivities are basically over)  It’s my Pack/Game giveaway!!  (●´ω｀●)

- This is open to BOTH PC & console players. It was going to be only PC, but I figured console players don’t get much from the Sims besides basegame, & they deserve more, damnit. - That includes Stardew; PC, xbox, PS, & Nintendo. - You do not have to follow me in order to be qualified. While it would be appreciated, and you’d be missing out on a brand spankin new bestie, just reblogging is fine. ♡

- You MUST reblog this post!! This is how you enter!! You can like it, but only liking the post does NOT count as an entry!!!

What you win:  2 kits, 1 stuff pack, OR the Stardew Valley game.

( I’m sorry game or expansion packs aren’t a part of the deal, but whewww EA is WILD with their prices ok. ANYWAYS!) (I know throwing the Stardew game in there is random, BUT. I've been getting super into it again lately & with it being only a couple dollars more for a whole game compared to a Sims PACK (shade IS intended), I thought I'd add it to the mix. Just cause I’m quirky that way.)

- The winner will be chosen on November 1st at MIDNIGHT CST by a random number generator!! 

- I will message you VIA  DM & you will have 24 hours to respond. I’m sorry there isn’t more time, but this is to ensure that a winner is picked before the sale ends. I’m broke cheap ok. (i MIGHT end up sucking it up & paying full price & extending the deadline considering it took me so long to post this.)

** This goes without saying, but you will NOT be receiving money. The pack/game will be gifted to you on whichever platform you use.*** I know what it’s like to not be able to always afford a game or game pack but still really want to play it. So even if you ARE able to afford it, I wanted to try & help some of those who may not be able to.  ALSO IM SORRY THIS WAS SOO LONG♡  

[novastale]

Assassin's Creed Valhalla - Something I have to get off my shoulders

! Careful, what I write now is criticism, if you do not like content like that please do not read any further!

Mad ramblings of a frustrated old woman ahead:

I really love AC Valhalla, i have since launch. And to be honest this might just be a post out of pure frustration, I apologize for it in advance.

But the last few content changes have soured my admiration for the game.

Beginning with all those Community Challenges they are dropping. Some of them work, some don't. For me that meant I did not get the Einherjar bow, I did not get the Pharaoh's Mount and recently recruiting Community Jomsvikings does not count to any challenge, so I will not get the new Brotherhood Tattoo, too. I know, we should be greatful for Ubisoft to give us free content every now and then, but, well... not being able to get it bc. the participation in those events and challenges does not register is quite annoying.

Since launch of the game there are quite a few bugs that occur again and again. NPCs that are stuck in the floor, loot that cannot be reached, floating objects etc. Now we got a complete data reconstruction. The only thing I noticed that has been fixed was the broken transmog on my first Savegame. Otherwise we have constant tripping over invisible things (was there a cat????), floating objects (again) and so on.

Discovery Tour was a nice idea and I was very hyped for it. But when they released it the disappointment was huge... I have beaten everything in a few hours playtime - and the characters I would have wanted to play the most have not even be an option (Tyr, Vili, Ubba...). Sure, I liked the quest-system they introduced, but the overall experience was not even close to what AC Odyssey DT had to offer. No parttaking in social activities (by standing on the white dots on the ground, if you have played AC Odyssey DT you know what I mean) and a huge map... empty except for about 5 little areas with Interaction points... I expected a bit more. Let's just hope they will add Ireland and Francia as future content to DT, otherwise great historical stuff would be wasted.

Now the Yule festival. I appreciate they didn't change the overall experience of the festival. But it starts buggy. If you have participated in the event last year, it would not activate on this Savegame. So you need to have a newer one to actually experience the event. And it is exactly the same. Even the events apart from the festival activities (which I am greatful are the same! I really loved the brawl last year!), but I would have liked to have some new side events, not the Cow Hunt and The missing Ale again... And then we get to the rewards. They promised snowy hair. I was quite excited when they announced it, maybe we get a hairstyle with little snowflakes or, well snow in your hair (and beard). What we actually get is a hairstyle that looks as if Eivor had dunked his head in a bucket of water and then put it into the freezer. A badly rendered "monstrosity"... enough said.

Now the worst part of it all: The reconstruction broke every game mod that was released from very talented people to sweeten the game experience, at least for PC Players (sorry for folks with PS and X-Box). I know, some of you will say that the game is not meant to be played like this. But it actually kept me from abandoning the game a long time ago. I simply do not vibe with Eivor like I would like to. F-Eivor is nice, but I do not want to play female characters in a game for long. M-Eivor just does not get to me. He's ok... but I cannot stand him for more than a couple of hours playtime. And the author of the (at least for myself) most valuable mod (Eivor Customizer) seems to have stopped updating at all. This takes me to a threshold where I have to decide to abandon the game I really loved to play (I have over 1000 hours of playtime) or to play it with much less motivation... I am not yet decided what to do since I have just spent 40 bucks on the preorder of the new DLC.

Now again, I love this game, I really do. The content we got was very nice, the landscapes are just breathtaking, SoP was so beautiful, the tombs of the fallen were amazing. Even the Crossover-Event was a nice diversion, although I had to play F-Eivor. It was so good to see Kassandra again. But right now I am really frustrated with all the things that bother me till no end.

Anyways, If you have read this untill the end I want to thank you for your time and your open ear and I want to apologize again for critizising this otherwise wonderful game so harshly.

Thank You for reading!

[izayoichan]

all of them :3

Well.. already answered some, but you will have the rest ;)

1. Favorite video game?

The last of us & The last of us 2 (Nope, not the sims, I know that's probably what people expect, but nah.)

2. First console you owned?

Playstation (yeah, the first one ;))

3. A game that holds a special place in your heart?

Answered here. I can add FFXIV, which is my current mmo addiction, playing with friends is always fun.

4. Favorite video game character?

Answered here.

5. Least favorite video game character?

Answered here.

6. Favorite genre?

I mostly play RPG's and generally story heavy games. They often mix together, so win win.

7. Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

Connor from Detroit Become Human, Sepiroth from FFVII (one does like a badguy), Chris Redfield of course.. who hasn't?

8. First video game you remember playing?

Prince of Persia, on my uncles MAC. It was one of my very early introductions to gaming, and I never got very far. It was hard!

9. Age you started gaming?

Answered here.

10. Hardest video game you’ve played?

Answered here

11. Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

This depends.. if I take all the Final Fantasy games and see them as one.. then them. If not, at least for a while longer, the game I spent the most time on is easily World of Warcraft. Although FFXIV is slowly catching up!

12. Most embarrassing gaming moment?

My complete and utter inability to jump.. in every game I jump and fall off stuff.. it keeps being embarrassing.

13. Scariest video game you’ve played?

PT (Playable Trailer) that sadly never became an actual game. Now I generally don't feel scary games are scary, but man, that was creepy to play. (I sadly didn't get it downloaded on PS myself, but got to play it on a friends)

14. Most memorable gaming moment?

The end of ARR, combined with all of Shadowbringers main story.. never had a game that left me with any feeling like it.. you got so into it, and then suddenly you just sit there feeling empty when there isn't any more and you know it.. not for a while anyways.

15. Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

Answered here & here

16. PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

Answered here.

17. Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

If you asked me 10 years ago it would be Blizzard. Now its Square Enix. (Final Fantasy anyone? Guess you all expected me to write EA for sims huh? ;)

18. If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

Final Fantasy XIV, because I could at least play with others and endlessly change my houses. (Also their still expanding on it for years to come.)

19. Do you use strategy guides?

Yep! (specially to learn new fights in ffxiv if I feel like I struggle to understand them. )

20. How often do you use cheats?

Answered here

21. Competitive or single player?

Single player (MMO to me is more cooperation than competitive, at least the way I play, I don't need first kills anymore)

22. Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

Yuna in her wedding dress from FFX... I have never cosplayed though, but always wanted to try that. That and my own characters, not that I am a) male or 2) would fit the clothes, but still.

23. Ever go to a video game convention?

I am not sure it counts as a convention, but it is the biggest similar thing in Norway, Spillexpo, and I was there once.

24. Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

Cleric beat in bloodborne.. good I hate that fight..

25. Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

Answered here & here

26. Favorite gaming series?

Unsuprisingly (or for some I guess surprisingly) Final Fantasy

27. Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

Depends on the game. If its a gamestyle I know I can skip it.

28. Best online gaming experience?

Doing actual extreme content when their main content, because the people in my fc are crazy enough to take me with them. Even though they know I probably hold them back. And that awesome feeling when we clear it and I get something shiny I think I would never see until maybe the next expansion.

29. Worst online gaming experience?

Realizing the once friendly random wow comunity was gone, replaced with a bunch of elitist jerks. It helped me change games though to something better

30. Why do you game?

Answered here

[blookmallow]

aaaand goodbye teruteru

------

the what now 

I GOT STUCK HERE FOR SO FUCKING LONG BC THEY GIVE YOU THIS. PILE OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE INSTRUCTIONS AND THEN NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE

in dr1 they had a similar mechanic where you had to hit the buttons at the right tempo to knock out their statements, which was also confusing but i was starting to get decently good at it by the end of the game, but in this one the timing is TOTALLY OFF and i kept missing every single one and couldn’t figure out why, then realized it worked sometimes if i held down the button instead of just clicking it like you do in dr1 (which they didn’t explain!!! in this one!!!) but eventually figured out if i just like. double clicked on the beat i could break them for some reason. i dont know why. it works and i cannot explain how 

but then at the end when you reach the final strike, you have to put together a phrase out of four words to refute “where could the weapon have been?” and i was CONVINCED it was “On The Meat Bone” (even though technically it was hidden In the bone i guess) and i didnt realize i had the phrase wrong and thought i just wasn’t hitting it correctly for some reason so i failed this like 6 times before i finally realized it was MEAT ON THE BONE 

i understand owari’s not the type to give a shit probably but do you really wanna eat meat off of the skewer that was very recently repeatedly stabbed into a guy’s abdomen 

even if he cleaned it off before he put it back thats still like, fucked up lmao 

monokuma took care of it though i guess :’ ) 

kind of alarming that he’s capable of eating now, but 

THANK YOU NANAMI 

,,,,ok

I WILL SAY that the final closing sequence is WAY better in sdr2, it’s way way clearer what you’re looking for, the blanks give you hints as to what might go there, the picture options give you descriptions of what you’re looking at (frequently i know exactly what im trying to explain but cant figure out which picture goes where bc they’re just. incomprehensible out of context) and THEY FINALLY FIXED THE SCROLL THING :’) 

i dont know if its just broken as hell with a laptop trackpad and maybe it works with a mouse (or maybe it’s just not designed for pc in the first place, this was originally. ps vita or something i think) but the scroll sensitivity was SO broken in dr1 i spent most of my time just trying desperately to scroll to the thing i needed without scrolling past it 

i still have that problem when im trying to pick which truth bullet to fire but thats not As bad as this part was in dr1 at least

ok so my bIGGEST PROBLEM WITH ALL THIS, is WHY DIDN’T TERUTERU TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS 

if he Knew what komaeda was up to (and he did, it’s confirmed right after this) why didn’t he just go tell not-togami right away. even if he thought nobody would believe him, that guy would have taken it very seriously since he already was on his guard and knew there was a threat 

i mean i guess like. he saw an opportunity to kill komaeda, which he could feel justified about bc he knew komaeda was already planning a murder, and if he got away with it he could escape but that still means he was willing to sacrifice everyone else 

like he does give kind of a weak attempt at asking if it counts as an exception because it was sort of self defense (komaeda couldn’t kill him from where he was but he was gonna kill Someone so he was defending. someone) but he still.... knew komaeda was going to kill somebody and made the choice to just kill him himself without warning anyone or saying Anything and then kept that fact to himself too

back in dr1 again we had this similar situation in the first trial where leon actually was acting in self defense (which is Confirmed in the manga, he doesn’t get a chance to explain it in the game) and didn’t tell anyone but like... none of them knew yet if they could get off on a technicality and we don’t know if he might’ve been hoping for that, and he didn’t know sayaka was dangerous, he didn’t make the conscious decision to go kill her without telling anyone. he probably should have asked someone else for help when she lost it but his intention was to get in there to talk it out, so like. he tried to de-escalate the situation and became a killer by accident, teruteru had plenty of time to get help and decided to kill instead. and “hey byakuya i think komaeda is planning something bad” would have been a completely logical thing to do, he would have taken it seriously and teruteru would be innocent in that scenario, vs “guys i think i just killed sayaka but hear me out i didnt mean to” would NOT have gone over well, nobody’s gonna help him or believe him when it’s Sweet Dear Precious Sayaka, naegi could barely believe she attacked him even when they proved it with evidence 

i dont know i feel like teruteru had a lot more intent behind what he did. even if he would have been absolutely fucking justified in killing komaeda and i wish he had done it correctly :’  ) i think the “i dont care about taking everyone else down with him” is way more clear-cut here 

anyway, goodbye little bastard man 

motherfucker

i still CANNOT follow komaeda’s logic here 

he’s obsessed with the Ultimates... and believes in them SOOO Much :) he’s desperate to see them overcoming the ultimate despair... so he’s gotta kill somebody... to induce ultimate despair... so they can overcome it... i GUESS???

wouldn’t defeating monokuma and making it out of here on their own strength without resorting to murder at all be the ultimate hope triumph though. what are you DOING, komaeda

what is W R O N G wiTH YOu

well there he goes

i really wish someone would

P LE ASE DO 

AKANE OWARI MY QUEEN 

its not. clear but im pretty sure she Did punch him

its a crime that we dont get to see this, but 

i mean. she’s right 

i B U K I 

[tiger--wolf]

7, 9, 15, 29, 39, 47!!

Oooh! Thank you for the asks <3

Any games you have multiple copies of? Oh yes.. I have two copies of each DMC game, one for console and the other for PC. I also have both a digital and a physical copy of KH 3. (Had to have that collector’s edition lmao) Then there’s Okami which I have for PS 2 as well as PS 3 but i’ve also been eyeing not only the PS 4 version but the PC one as well (look, i really love this game don’t judge).

Most regrettable purchase? Final Fantasy X remaster for PS4. I bought it because I never got to experience these games back when they first came out and from what I’ve heard X is among the best FF’s ever made so I figured why not! Let’s see what the hype is about since i adored XV and Type-0 when i played them. Sadly that gameplay just was not for me and it quickly started to feel like a chore to play. Which is a shame because I was really starting to get invested in the story! Still I regretted that I decided it’d be better to give it to someone else that have it collecting dust on my shelf.

If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? I’ve actually been thinking about getting an Okami themed tattoo for years now! (SHOCKING i know lmao) It’d be amazing to have a portrait of Ammy across from shoulder to elbow. And it would HAVE to be in that same sumi-e art style.

What is your gaming set up? The only thing close to a setup i have is my three consoles neatly placed next to each other (PS 2, 3 and 4). I don’t really have anything special set up for my PC. Only dual monitors.

A sequel that you would die for them to make? You know what, if you can’t guess this by now, I don’t even know what to tell you lmao! (AND NO, OKAMIDEN DOESN’T COUNT) To keep things a little more interesting I’m gonna say Silent Hill. I love the original games and It’s about time this series saw the light of day again with a proper, good sequel. Unfortunately as long as it’s in Konami’s hands I don’t see that happening any time soon.. T_T

Do you like competitive games? To some extent yes, as long as I find the game enjoyable to play. I’m not too crazy about sports overall (like FIFA) but I will always be up for some racing. I used to play Rocket League quite a bit too some time back (can’t say i’m any good at it though lmao). Still, I’ll always prefer co-op to competitive given the choice.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Persona Fandom Problems: “Guide to legally buying Persona games so Atlus can see the money” solution 2

So I guess some people didn’t see my first solution guide before, which broke down the rough cost of consoles (except PS4) and the games (which included the cheapest they’ve been at online and the base price available online). Tldr; going a few routes show it’s pretty cheap, esp if you can find the console cheap (the games however you either have to wait for to go down in price, otherwise they can get pricey, personally I expect them to go down again when P5R JPN/Outside JPN releases or maybe even doing it for Halloween/American Thanksgiving/Christmas included in a special it’s just a feeling but since it’s a new Persona game, they usually dock prices when a new Persona game comes out....at least in Japan, in the USA they will dock prices around our big holidays so keep it in mind.). The key is that you kinda have to buy the games digitally now, buy used and Atlus don’t see the money and at that point you could’ve just emulated or watched a let’s play/youtube “movie”.

That being said, it’s not to shame people who emulated (esp the older games), but if you had the money (or even had the console but not the games) it was a good guide to help people get into the game but also in a way that Atlus themselves see it so that it actually helps support the game.....But I’ve seen people getting pissy about this again, first they get mad people aren’t playing the games because it costs money, if you mention emulation, then they get pissy cause now it’s free and Atlus don’t see the money, and now it’s a cycle where you don’t win and are shamed or rushed into losing money.

BUT FEAR NOT! Here I have a new solution! :D One that combines emulation and buying (gasp I know). It’s a lot cheaper (esp if you wait for the digital prices to go down), and/because you don’t even need to buy a console. 

And the answer is........Emulate, but buy the game digitally from your PC/Computer to show your support that way. Simple! Alternatively, if you didn’t emulate it but watched a playthrough/walthrough or the anime series (probably illegally but hey anime isn’t cheap, and the games kinda are in comparison), you can still count. (basically, if you watched or played an emulated version of a Persona game or watched an adaptation, and you liked it, then buy it digitally to show support, you don’t need a system to buy it, but consider it payment for the experience). If you didn’t like a certain Persona game after trying it, then I guess you...props shouldn’t pay......which means I guess this post isn’t for you? 8U

Wait wait, I know you have questions: “How much money would the games cost,” “How do I set up an account,” “I’m not from the USA nor Japan for these specials,” That’s ok, under the cut I’ll explain all that stuff for you (if you know what to do from here, then you don’t need to go under the cut 8U)!

First the price of games. The first part listed in bold is what’s the lowest it’s been listed on a sale day (from what I can find) the 2nd number is what it’s currently listed as now for the base price. Now for P3/4 it shouldn’t matter which version you pick, but if you pick P3P and you want to support the FeMC more then pick P3P (same goes for P4G/Arena/Ultimax/Adachi DLC if you want more Adachi). Same tbh same can go for certain DLC stuff too, want more Marie? Buy Marie DLC. Want more Miku in your dancing games? Buy Miku. Want Adachi/Sho? Buy their DLC too! Want more Margaret? Buy her DLC in Arena/Ultimax (iirc it’s one of those two if not both, it’s been a hot minute ok? ;w;). I won’t be listing DLC, they don’t usually go on sale iirc, but feel free to explore on the website. (but yeah bold is the lowest I’ve SEEN/could find evidence of it go down in price, if there isn’t a price before “/” it’s because I can’t remember what the sale price was like 3+ years ago and the internet doesn’t have the number available for that time, but there have been sales on ALL the games so far)

Games (all PS3/PSP/PSVita/PS4, in rough release order)

Persona 1 (PSP, $/19.99)

Persona 2: Innocent Sin (PSP, $/19.99 )

Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (PS1 classic, $3.99/9.99)

Persona 3 FES (PS2 classic, $5.99/9.99)

Persona 3 Portable (PSP, $/19.99 )

Persona 4 (PS2 classic, $5.99/9.99)

Persona 4 Golden (Vita, $/19.99 )

Persona 4: Arena (PS3, $/14.99)

Persona 4: Ultimax (PS3, $/19.99, or if you have PS+ during the month it was free, then it is free for you and you save about $20).

Persona 4: Arena Story mode (Ultimax DLC, $9.99, aka you get the story of Arena and Ultimax for $29.98 instead of $34.98) 

Persona 5 (PS3/PS4, $ 13.99/19.99) (ultimate edition, 50.99/84.99

Persona Dancing All star triple pack (only way to get PS4 ver of P4D btw): /$59.99 

Persona 3: Dancing in Moonlight (Vita or PS4, $/39.99 or 59.99)

Persona 5: Dancing in Starlight (Vita or PS4, $/39.99 or 59.99)

Persona 4: Dancing All Night (Vita, $/24.99 )

P5R (PS4, $59.99, place holder)

Now onto the PSN account. If for some reason you don’t have a US/JPN account, and your country PSN doesn’t have any of these games then make a US/JPN one. US and JPN tend to have deals on these (not sure about other countries again). 

For Sony you can easily make one at this website, (if you can’t access Persona games digitally from your country, check this post on how to make an account from another country, it also tells you where to go on purchasing foreign PSN Currency if the account isn’t where you are from). The website and doing it on the Playstation are roughly similar (the video is assuming you are doing it on the PSN), so I wouldn’t worry too much.

Now I know I didn’t list the PQ games....and that’s because.....I dunno if you can buy them digitally from the Eshop website. You can if you have a 3DS buuuuuuuut.....that’s....not going to help......if you don’t have a 3DS....and you had to emulate or watch it.....If there’s a way I can’t seem to find it so sorry ;w;

But yeah that’s basically it, if you are a fan of the game you like you should buy it. But you should buy it in a way that it actually means supporting it (aka not buying used). Give Atlus the numbers, and let your money do the talking. Lastly, I have a veeeeeery big feeling that these digital games will go on sale when P5R is released. If that does happen, I’ll make a separate post with links to the JPN pages. 

[trekwiz]

Least favorite game from each console?

Oh, that’s a good one! I'll interpret that to mean each console that I've owned.

NES: MagMax. I was a little kid, and at the time I saw it, I had both an NES and an SNES. I had misread it as Mega Man X, which was being released in the near future. After begging my grandma to buy it for me, I realized my error when I got home and played it for the first time. I never did like side scrolling games like this, so I only played it once or twice.

SNES: I know I'll get flak for this, but, Star Fox. The characters were amusing, but I found it really hard to follow what was going on. The visuals were very confusing, and not in a good way. (Yes, there is a good confusing. I loved Starflight, but did not understand it at all as a kid.)

Genesis: I don't think I really had a least favorite, but that's because I didn't play many games on Genesis. The NES and SNES were mine, so they were located in my room. The Genesis was the family's, so it was in the living room--I tried to avoid them as much as possible, so it was only worth playing really good games.N64: I didn’t own one, but I’m including it because the N64 itself was my least favorite game on the console. I made an active choice to avoid it: I couldn’t tolerate the really horrible, blocky graphics. And no, I’m not saying that with hindsight in mind: that’s exactly how I felt about it at the time of release. My dentist had one in the waiting room and I refused to play it even then. It was painful to look at, and I just couldn’t do it.

Dreamcast: Tossup between Silver and Elemental Gimmick Gear. I have no idea why I didn't get into them; I played about 5 minutes and just never went back to them. I only have (yes, still have) a few other games--Skies of Arcadia, Star Wars Episode 1: Podracer, Star Wars: Demolition, Soul Calibre, House of the Dead 2, NHL 2K, and the one game I was obsessed with: Evolution.

Xbox: No contest, Sea Blade. It's one of the worst games I've ever played. I've almost never played any game as repetitively dull as this one. Every mission was the same as the one before, with slightly different flavor text. And far too much time just flying over an area doing nothing at all. I returned that one very quickly.

Playstation 2: I only got a PS2 to play Final Fantasy IX and X, because I really hated how uncomfortable their controller design was (still is). But since I had it, I decided to get a couple sequels to one of my favorite Genesis games, Road Rash 3. Both were for the PSX, but I intentionally had a small PS collection so I'm counting them: Road Rash, and Road Rash 3D. They were both missing the things that made Road Rash 3 fun, and I never got into them.

Xbox 360: I know there was a lot of hype for the recent sequel (and for the original), but I'd have to say Rage was my least favorite game for this console. It wasn't bad per se, just a little too ambitious for the limits of technology. It really didn't play well, with the long loading times and the frequency of disc swapping. I don't remember playing any other game with such poorly thought out disc swapping points. And despite the massive size of the game, data-wise, it was far too short to be worth the price I paid for it. The devs seemed to have spent more money on eye candy than content, so I played it very quickly and shelved it soon after.

Xbox One: This is an obvious pick, but Mass Effect: Andromeda. At first, I was forgiving of the glitches, and I tolerated the insensitive decisions about the gay characters and players because it was at least fun enough to play. But then I saw the homophobic rationale for making Jaal bi in the patch notes, and that was the end of Bioware for me. I never did finish the game; I couldn't stomach being that seriously disrespected by the devs.

PS4: I don't have enough games to have a least favorite, yet. I mainly got it for my BF, on the condition that I buy and get time to use PSVR. I got hooked on Beat Saber pretty quickly. I was a little disappointed with Star Trek Bridge Crew; the graphics look a bit fuzzy in comparison to Beat Saber and Wipeout Omega Collection. The thin text gives me a headache, which limits how long I can play. But I'm not sure I dislike it to call it a "least favorite" except in relative ranking.

PC: I've played some really crappy PC games, but I do have a top 3 worst. I've never found anyone who agreed, but this one I returned in anger back in the day of discs, when stores didn't permit game refunds: Morrowind. I completely lost the story the moment I got off the boat and couldn't find it again, even after 4 restarts. It just wasn't worth the awful experience.

Farm Simulator; given the way friends spoke of it, I was expecting something not far off from Harvest Moon, or Harvest in the Heartland. Instead, it was Ride a Tractor Simulator, and I don't think I've ever been that bored in my life before. But in the 5 hours it took to figure out the controls just to get started, I missed the refund deadline.

Lastly, I really wasn't into Undertale; I was looking for LGBT content and this game was praised for it. But I found the game really bland. I like linear games, but this took the idea too literally: moving back and forth on the same horizontal plane for the whole game just felt tedious. I gave it about 2 hours before stopping. But it's one of the few bad games I didn't attempt to refund; I wanted to support LGBT creators, even if it didn't quite appeal to me.

[megatentious]

Majin Tensei 2 and Shin Megami Tensei If… let’s talk about them

This past year saw the fan translation release of two 16-bit Megaten games, Shin Megami Tensei If… (lord help me if I need to type this ellipsis every time) and Majin Tensei 2. I am maybe the only person who decided to play through both of these games for the first time in English in one year, and so maybe it will be instructive to see how these two series black sheep (can you call a game a black sheep if no one has actually played it?) fit together in the context of the larger franchise. Or maybe this is just an ungainly excuse to cobble together months-old observations into blog content. Let’s find out!!

Both of these games come from a period when Atlus was still trying to figure things out from a game design perspective, testing how much they could push their console audience with PC dungeon crawler inspirations. There were no compunctions at this point about making unforgiving design choices, even in their crowning achievement mainline series games. Sometimes this worked, like the lack of guidance in Shin Megami Tensei 1 leading to perfectly tuned feelings of lonely exploration. Sometimes this didn’t quite work, like the tedious backtracking and brutally untelegraphed stat skill check requirements of Shin Megami Tensei 2. “Getting Megaten’d” is a message board expression meant to describe the sudden game overs that can occur in this series after hours of play, so it’s not as if unforgiving punishment is something that has been eradicated from the more modern games. But there’s a reason even many Megafans (yes i just said megafans, please deal with that) refuse to play anything in this franchise that released before the Playstation 2, and it’s because of choices that are perceived as promoting tedium and time-wasting. We’ve seen how this can affect their big marquis mainline successes, but what happens when you apply these principles to dicier spinoffs? Well…

Majin Tensei 2 is at least, quite conceptually ambitious. Spanning numerous worlds and time periods, showcasing political intrigue and explicitly defined characters with varying motivations, five distinct endings across light-dark and law-chaos axes, hidden events that depend on how many turns you take and which demons you have in your party, there is a lot (too much!) to keep track of. There are ideas in Majin Tensei that pre-sage much of what makes up Devil Survivor, from demon races with differing map skills to introducing demon fusion to a strategy RPG space that was mainly just Shining Force and Front Mission. In practice though, what you do repeatedly in Majin Tensei 2 is slowly s l o w l y clear fifty plus maps, maps that will occasionally provide fun challenges, but more often that not will repeat large not particularly memorable landmasses with simply hellish amounts of monsters. Seriously look at this screenshot I took, this is less than one third of the map!

There’s a reason that so many volunteer debuggers dropped out during playtesting, and there is a reason that 100% of the ones who persevered used fast forwarding emulation features to finish. This is because Majin Tensei 2’s sluggishness can be linked to the infamous Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. problem, S.T.E.A.M. being a largely unloved Intelligent Systems strategy game on 3DS that was raked over the coals in reviews for allowing enemy phases to go on for inordinate amounts of time. Majin Tensei 2 does that game one better by allowing literal minutes and minutes to pass as each enemy decides its action one by one. Do you remember that map in the screenshot above? Imagine twice as many enemies as that taking 10 seconds each to complete their own turn. Majin Tensei 2 makes it clear that you are absolutely not supposed to kill every enemy, through turn limit bonuses and appeals to your general sanity. But that still doesn’t stop the game from dumping demons haphazardly across each map in the manner of someone pounding the bottom of a trashcan to make sure every piece of refuse has tumbled out. So even if you are trying to be efficient, with each passing turn you’re going to be dealing with plenty of downtime.

So yes, the game is cruel. Just to take one example, Majin Tensei 2 spends the whole game teaching you that you need to keep someone tough at your home base even if you think you are safe, since at any moment some sort of aerial demon can sweep in from 12 spaces across the map to occupy it and end your game. And then in one level 40 chapters or so in, the game will punish you for keeping anyone behind at your home base by spawning multiple inaccessible dragon type demons who will one shot anyone who was trying to hold down the fort no matter what (did I mention that this game has instant permadeath for all demons and instant game over for any of your five human characters, five humans whom you cannot possibly level up sufficiently to all be able to survive multiple demon attacks?). Majin Tensei 2 is willing to mess with you to the extent that it absolutely wants you to cheat. After all, this is a game that in 1995, allowed you to save after every turn, which is another way of the designers telling you that savestate abuse (or in my case, copious use of the rewind button) is built into the design.

So why put up with this sort of nonsense? Well, for one, you’re dealing with the atmosphere of a 16-bit Atlus game, a combination of visuals, sound design, music and tone that is simply unlike anything else in the industry. And there is absolutely satisfaction to be found in slowly conquering the game’s maps. But those who scoff at something like, say, Soul Hackers, will find this game absolutely impenetrable, which likely means it will only ever be played through by advance Megatenists (okay i changed it to this, are you happy). Majin Tensei 2 tries to do quite a bit, switching up much even from its direct predecessor, and the play experience ends up suffering despite the ambition.

SMT If in comparion, well … If is by far the least ambitious game in the series to date. While Majin Tensei 2 lavishes you with cool unique digitized photo backgrounds, an extraordinary soundtrack with lengthy moody electronica from the late great Hidehito Aoki, and spectacular boss sprites, SMT if reuses all the most drab and uninspired wall textures from its predecessors, and offers absolutely nothing in terms of new music. Worse yet, many of the reused tracks have somehow depreciated in the conversion. Listen to the offkey shrillness of the iconic Ginza music here , seriously what did they do to it!?. If does feature some lovely new boss sprites, showcasing demons from rarer mythologies that were never again revisited (where are all my Persians at ATLUS???), but even some of the best of these are hidden in new game plus routes the average player will likely never see. The general fugliness of the overall game and relentless asset reuse gives the whole experience a very unfortunate rom-hack feel, and though it’s not hard to figure out why the game ended up this way (it was cranked out less than 9 months after SMT2) it doesn’t make things better.

I should note one important item here, however, and that is that the PSX version renders almost all of these complaints obsolete. It’s the version I first played actually, stumbling through the first few hours untranslated during a Japanese PS+ trial period. The PSX version not only offers very dramatic visual upgrades and some excellent needed remixes, there is a small measure of kindness built in for the player through the game’s Easy Mode. It’s only in this mode for whatever reason that Atlus offers a design “solution” for the most infamous portion of the game, a dungeon in which you are required to wait for hours of lunar cycles in order for students to dig your path forward. In Easy Mode the time requirement is halved for you. Behold the design advancements of the 32-bit era!

If is generally an odd game in the context of the series. There is a type of person out there who likes to call this game Persona Zero, and for people who have played the Snow Queen route of Persona One I can see why the comparison is made. But despite the initial high school setting and pseudo-selectable party members, it still feels strange and off-putting to play a Shin Megami Tensei game with almost no meaningful narrative choices (routes here are essentially locked in at the start). Guardians are seen as proto-Personas, but in this game they are earned only through dying and are associated with combinations of stat augments and skill lists that are frequently at odds with each other. What you end up with is a system that is interesting conceptually (should I die to gain useful spells at the cost of my current stats?) but unworkable in practice (it is almost never worth the steep steep battle count cost to experiment). The seven deadly sins theming is sometimes used to inform the map design and dungeon concept, but again more often than not these concepts simply lead to unfortunate tedium for the player (shout out to the final dungeon of Reiko’s route though, which very brilliantly mashes together traditional SMT dungeon design and a thematically cool map floor I won’t spoil for you).

If we look at SMT If through the prism of 16-bit Atlus design principles, having the foundation of SMT1 and 2 to work from should in theory have led the developers to refine their decisions in ways that ought to have helped the player experience. Instead, the game makes bold choices that result in remarkably less fun. For example, If understands that guns were ludicrously over-powered in 1 and 2, and tries to course correct by … making it much more tedious for the player to use guns? Bullets now cost money and can only be bought by slowly ticking up the counter to 99 one click at a time, with each bundle purchase of 99 filling up a limited inventory slot. The encounter rate is as insane as usual, Estoma takes a little bit more time to get than usual, and the game’s economy does not afford you that many useful things to spend money on in terms of equipment. Combine these three aspects of the game and every player invariable ends up large quantities of makka on hand to spend on bullets to your hearts content, and given that bullets are still far and away the best way to dispatch groups of enemies, you’ll find yourself engaging in this tedium in order to play the game efficiently.

I’ve spent a lot of time repeating the word tedium in these observations, and it’s unfortunate that this is the main takeaway most players will get from playing these two games. Both SMT If and Majin Tensei 2 devise interesting systems and then execute them as grimly as possible from a playability standpoint. There are aspects of true unique accomplishment in both games (Majin Tensei 2 has the funniest demon negotiation dialogue in the entire franchise! SMT If’s final dungeon really is super cool!) but the kind of player who is willing to experience them is essentially a rounding error. I don’t have any regret at all that I played through each of them in their entirety (FYI Majin Tensei 2 is longer than Dragon Quest 7 or Persona 5 and SMT If has a new game plus with all new dungeons that increase difficulty and dullness), but I might understand if you have regret. Then again who knows, you made it to the end of this aimless and dull writeup so maybe these games will be right up your alley! Be sure to let me know!!!