#and that's maybe gotten to her head.
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#Life with Dedee#Paparazzi#Webcomic#Comic#Humor#Comedy#funny#funny cats#cats#We just love her so much#She's treated like a movie star in our household#and that's maybe gotten to her head.
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i feel like this is a hot take, but it's clear to me that so much of ianthe's outward projection of superiority is a deeply ingrained — really, formative — sense of inadequacy. it's to prove to everyone, even the people who were supposed to love her, who were supposed to inherently value her, that she does actually have value — in fact, she has the most value because look at what she can DO!
and i don't even think she's entirely internalized that, but that kind of projection kind of falls apart if you show even a moment of self-doubt
and i know ianthe isn’t supposed to be sympathetic here, or at least i’m assuming she’s not to most people, but can you imagine the body horror of being inextricably tied to and irrevocably altered by the guy you grew up with and didn’t even really like and who didn’t like you either (but who served you because that was his Role, and, who, even though you’ll never admit it, you maybe even cared about a bit because at a certain point that’s kind of unavoidable - i know she tried to convince palamedes she didn’t, but she is a known liar prone to sentimentality), but it was fine because you knew you were better than him, too?
except now you're not exactly, not entirely better than him, because he's not just fueling you, you didn't get to just use him to become someone who matters. instead, he's part of you, and you still don't matter?
like from what she says about her parents' reaction to the canaan house aftermath, even that part didn't work. she didn't earn mommy and daddy's validation, admiration, anything
and she's running his empire, but she's still third place to surrogate daddy, too. if she even places!
ianthe naberius is very much the consequences of her own actions, i’m not going full apologia here, just imagining being in that position and. goddamn
#ianthe tridentarius#the unwanted guest#naberius tern#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#ianthe naberius#tridentarii#cw ianthe#m.tlt#tlt#anyway#†#i say all of this when actually i may be entering my ianthe apologist era i have a whole in defense of essay in my head that#i haven’t been up to articulating so far 🤡#like boo hoo poor her but like also KIND OF MAYBE IDK IDK LISTEN IM JUST SAYING#people have so much sympathy for harrow because of her childhood trauma but i feel likeeee. ianthe’s childhood sounds profoundly fucked and#neglectful even from the small glimpses we’ve gotten into it so far#doesn’t excuse her at all and also yes obviously harrow has taken concrete steps towards becoming a better person even having spent less#time being an adult i'm not discounting that at all i'm not saying they're exactly the same#just ALSO!#you know etc etc i’ll get to it eventually maybe
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Okay, we all know being a demigod is a shit position. Its scary and gets you killed in really nasty ways. But I feel like being a Big Three Kid has to be the shitiest position in all the shit positions.
Like, imagine being Thalia Grace. Your dad is king of the gods, lord of the skies. Led a war to get rid of a tyrant. And the only thing you get is his scorned wife AND brother, who both try to kill you (with one technically succeeding), a drunk of a mother, and brother who you thought was dead. Oh, wait, he’s not dead! No instead he was used as an offering to appease your dad’s wife and help fight in a war and prevent mass destruction.
Or maybe you can imagine being Percy. Son of the sea god, the stormbringer, the earthshaker. You get to live with a disgusting, abusive man for around 6 years. Who smells like literal shit. All because your scent as a demigod is too strong, BECAUSE of who your father is. You see things that you aren’t supposed to see and do things that people can’t do and go years thinking something is wrong with you. That your the problem. Then you get to the one place where you’re supposed to be save. But! Here is the kicker! You’re not! Your uncles hate you and you’ve been accused of stealing a symbol of power. A series of events that will kick off a war, and guess what. You’re a center point for it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.
Mhm, but then there’s Hazel. Daughter Pluto, god of the underworld and riches. But that doesn’t really change anything does it? She’s still living in 1930s America, in a red state. One where confederate flags still hang if you go deep enough into the city. She go to a school where the kids are supposed to be just like her! They still don’t like her tho. She’s got no idea who your father is, only that he left her with a parting gift. Only it’s not really a gift. Sure, she can pull rubies and diamonds from the earth, all worth millions. But anyone who’s ever gonna touch it will die. She lives with her mother, a woman gone so mad with greed it kills her. And Hazel, by the way. Laying dead Alaska, inhaling oil. But it doesn’t end there! She can’t have her mother suffering for eternity, can she? The answer is no. Hazel gets to spend the next 70 years in the Fields of Asphodel. It still doesn’t end! Because when she’s brought back to life, she gets to fight in a war against giants, her sad story seemingly never ending.
Nico’s a son of one of the Big Three, one of the most ancient and most powerful. But most people look at him as something bad, something not worth taking a second glance at. Something too look away from, mostly. He’s from the 30s, spent years in a magical time casino with only his sister at his side. She doesn’t stay for long though, she dies soon after they discover their heritage. And he doesn’t remember his mother much, a name without a face. A face without a name. He survived an attempted assassination at 2, though it wouldn’t be the only time his was life was threatened. He clings to his sister, even though she’s dead. He’s the son of the god of the underworld, is he not? There had to be a way, and there is. Only she won’t talk to him, she seems more concerned with communicating with the guy who got her killed instead. She chooses rebirth, and he decides to lay it to rest. She’s not coming back, and he has a war to fight in. (He gets stuck in a jar and forcibly outed a few years later, but that’s a lot to get into for now.)
Jason Grace is a pillar of New Rome, their golden boy, their American boy. He’s a son of Jupiter, a natural born leader. He’s been at camp for as long as he can remember, he wants to be praetor soon. He’s had a rocky start, but maybe he’ll be one of the lucky ones. Retire a veteran and live a long life with Reyna in New Rome. Only that never happened. He has no idea where he is, there’s a girl holding his hand, and she’s cute but it feels wrong. They get attacked and people come in and call him a Greek demigod, familiar, yes, but still wrong. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t put things into perspective the way it does for Piper and Leo. He’s goes to a quest to rescue Hera, the name sounds wrong. He nearly dies but at least he remembers who he is. He spends the next 6 months trying to get back home, even though he isn’t too sure on where or what home is. He gets there, eventually, but it doesn’t stop there. He’s dragged on quests and battles and fights in the war but at least he survives it, he’s still there. Apollo needs help, he and Piper give him aid. He gets dumped. He doesn’t get to he a veteran in New Rome. Not with Reyna, not with Piper, not with anybody. He doesn’t get kids or grandkids. No, he gets shot down, another demigod buried.
You could be any one of them, really. Pick your poison, but I guarantee you won’t like any of them. Spending years trying to find a place where you belong, where you feel safe. Only for it to never come.
Percy, who, if you really look at the books, isn’t really all that well liked until he’s at least 2 years into camp. Only to then be sidelined because the courages, brave, fearless daughter of Zeus is back from the dead. Nico, the son of one of the most feared and hated gods. Who has death written all over him, who excludes it so much animals can smell it and humans can sense it, who’s been ostracized and pushed off to the side since he was 10. Hazel, who was treated like disease as soon as she stepped foot on camp soil. Who’s gone her whole life looked as something that’s cursed, that will only bring misfortune, a bad omen.
Shit positions, all of them.
#Hazel and Jason make my head spin#also jaosn and Percy#I like how they both in a way didn’t want glory or to be some hero#i don’t think Jason mentions it much but they kids and grandkids mention in BOO is very telling#Percy’s is from the musical but whatever we all know the musical is canon#and show Percy thinking something is wrong with him and that he needs a mental evaluation of some kind is#everything#I’m making that canon now#I’d love to get a Thalia book#a trilogy maybe#first book is her with her mom and Jason + Luke and Annabeth on the run#ending with her dying#2nd book takes place after her resurrection and during the the war#final book is life with the hunters#and how she found peace in a world designed for her to struggle#I feel like out of all of them big three kids she’s the only one who got her happy ending#and in the fandom the hunters have gotten the reputation of being where Rick puts characters that can’t be shipped with anyone#but I really don’t think it’s the case with her#she’s also one of the only demigods where I think her story has come to a close#like it’s done#Percy’s story is almost done too#Nico and Hazel I feel aren’t quite there yet#percy jackson#thalia grace#hazel levesque#jason grace#nico di angelo#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#percy jackon and the olympians
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hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?
ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever
#I did start to try to deep dive before I realized it was too much#but I was reminded that when Louis was doing txf as a judge while fizzy was struggling#many people thought he had been pressured somehow into it; later when we knew what had been going on people were like#oh maybe he just wanted to be close to home to deal with fizzy stuff or somethng#but also: keeping fizzy stuff quiet would potentially be the info we didn't have at that time that could answer that q too of what they use#given the DW🤝simon jones🤝simon cowell cursed connections#(for the newbies: simon jones aka DWs bestie is Louis' publicist for no apparent reason even now long after he has gotten free of the rest#of the modest/syco/simon cowell shitshow)#anyway another example of story trading in our fandom is zayn's baby sister's teen pregnancy#which was known to the fandom early on but kept super quiet by respectful fans- during this time Z did some unprecedented actual interviews#for no obvious reason#and then iirc pretty much the day she turned 17 a very lowkey article reported on her marrying her bf and mentioning a pregnancy#but as if it was recent not like 7 months along#and even when she gave birth soon after it was all kind of... glossed over and around and not reported until a little later#blah blah blah#I felt like it was weird to talk about this for some reason but when I thought about it#I don't know if it matters. Like maybe talking about him not being a dad and being gay or whatever at all is bad#but assuming we're doing that anyway. why not talk about the struggles around that#and the creeps holding it over his head#dan wootton
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headcanon that as sophie ages, she gets more and more off-put by how she still looks twenty at some age past 40. the only wrinkles she has are smile lines and a barely-there crease between her eyebrows that never leaves. no gray hairs. it doesn’t feel like there’s any physical evidence of how much stress aged her too fast.
(maybe she dyes more grays into her hair to feel better about her reflection, the more time passes by. maybe, on bad days, she contours wrinkles into her skin with makeup. maybe the bad days get more frequent as she ages outside the human lifespan. maybe.)
#i feel like fitz and dex are the only friends of hers that really get it#since fitz understands more surrounding human cultures than most elves thanks to his firsthand experience in the search#and dex grew up with his mom’s romcoms#which would probably show some human perspectives on aging#and his mom explaining some things that didn’t quite make sense to Smol Dex#but i’ve always imagined sophie turning up on fitz’s doorstep in the middle of the night#with tears running down her face and saying she didn’t know who else to talk to about almost-immortality feeling so so so wrong as she#gets older. not necessarily just because he knows more about humanity than most of her group#but also because like. there’s some part of her that says ‘if he can help you through learning to be an elf at 12 maybe he can help you at#42 too’. and they’re cognates. and they’ve gotten old enough to set aside teenage grievances with one another#and i like the idea of them sitting on a couch together by lamplight and trying to navigate the cultural and personal differences#in how the two of them and humanity and the lost cities view mortality#and not really reaching a concrete conclusion. but rather. a conclusion that keeps the two of them sane until they reach triple digits.#and then they have the conversation again. and come up with a plan to stay sane in their triple digits. and the same thing pops up in their#thousands. idk man the whole thing screams trust down to the bone and that’s what they should have when the war is over#is there anything more Cognate than talking through wildly different fears surrounding the same thing that make both parties#super vulnerable??? down to how your minds work in the face - or lack of - death?#maybe so but i can’t think of them off top of my head#kotlc#sophie foster#kotlc headcanons#keeper of the lost cities
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Guess who :3c (Patreon)
#My art#Webkinz#Diamond#Ukadevlog#Ghostkinz#Ta-dah! My November behind-the-scenes project was this! The poll was for this reason! Though I already knew I'd start with her haha#Have a little preview to start us off - I have Lots of thoughts to each part of development I ended up in but I want to roll them out slowly#Not everything all at once anyway haha - thoughts get all jumbled now that I'm on this side of things pft#I wasn't able to finish A Version I'd be willing to publish in just a month - even then I only worked on Ghostkinz about 3 days a week so#But for the time I spent I'm quite pleased with how its shaped up so far! :D I got to implement a lot!#Actually learning-then-implementing-then-learning-then-implementing - it's a loop I've been out of for such a long time now :0#Really interesting to fall back into after so long away haha#A lot of my other projects have been Pick Up One Thing and then do that forever and I was tired-tired of that!!#So going into this project knowing that I'd only have November to Get Guud at as much of it as possible and then that was it#I think it helped propel me - didn't end with me getting stuck on Perfecting Just This One Thing#I'd read a bit and then go utilize it and then come back and read some more of Zarla's template/walkthrough - compelling system!#I still couldn't manage to actually finish in a month but I got up to Phase 4!! Previous attempts at Ghost-making has gotten stalled at 1!!#Maaaybe 2 but never anything beyond that - and while I didn't actually Finish any Phase apart from 1 I still read through much much more!#On top of the learning aspect being fun ♪ getting to understand some of the more technical side ahh - it was also just fun to read haha#Like a course that can be silly hehe ♫ Enjoyable even outside of getting to make a little guy for my screen haha#But also yes that too!! I'm really glad I finally settled on an idea that I feel confident in seeing through#The best part about reaching for the Webkinz style is that Webkinz uses vectors - I've gone on record multiple times as loving vectors#They're an exceptionally easy medium to manipulate and that was The Thing that had been holding me back from committing to Ghosts prior#Drawing every single thing when I already struggle to plug in my tablet...no...... But Vectors#You can see here that Diamond's expressions are just a matter of tilting her head and moving her tail - so so soooo simple with vectors#Being able to super-quickly put out a lot of different expressions and animations and piecemeal everything together...yes..........#And for what further I have in mind :3c It's really all I could ask for in an art style to seek ah ♪ Just right for my purposes!#I thought it'd be nice to show off Diamond-for-real as her plush next to her digital version as well :D She's still the only OG8 I have#I want more!! I'd love to have a code for her as well haha - secretly just started this so I can have a digital Diamond lol#Plush-Diamond actually wears a necklace these days but I opted to leave it off her for the photoshoot - maybe once I figure out clothes haha
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Petition to call Girls' Friendship the funniest fucking Miku+Luka duet I stg
Sing the gayest song and then call it 'friendship' like nobody will notice.
Miku calling Luka 'Sweetheart,' talking about seeking their freedom and 'coming out,' Luka comes running when Miku cries and then snuggles with her until she smiles again...
I mean no, yeah I totally tell my friends "I'm with you like we're lovers," all the time.
#vocaloid#negitoro#hatsune miku#megurine luka#mitchie M in the comments hearting and responding to people talking about negitoro#I'm with the commenter calling it a sequel to magnet#they've gotten a lot more comfortable with their relationship but there's still the instinct to hide#only now it's just a bit more coy and less fueled by fear of rejection from others#the shortened version of the song with the animated video cuts out a lot of the gay stuff#and even that's still fruity as hell#Miku resting her head gently on Luka's bosom like friends do#the “Sweetheart” kills me it's so cute#I don't exactly know where it started#(I think maybe the english version of just be friends?)#but I've seen a small trend of having Luka call people 'baby'#and have since adopted that into my headcanon for her#Miku calls her sweetheart#Luka calls her baby
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Personally I find it really funny that based on what the twins said in the Book 2 finale re: having to tell their mom about what happened to Unalaq, it's literally canon that Unalaq's wife a) exists, b) is alive, and c) is just chilling in the Northern Water Tribe
She took one look at all the spirit fuckery her husband was getting up to and went "Well that's none of my business" and honestly I respect that
#oh and when I say spirit fuckery I mean it in both the literal and metaphorical sense. blame kat's latest raava and vaatu fic#yeah I'm just gonna start posting random LoK opinions on here now. this blog's been dead long enough#not really an incorrect quotes girly anymore sorry#not even a girl anymore. but you know#most of my red lotus and oc posting will remain on my personal blog though bc no one wants to see that#anyway. yes. Unalaq's wife. when I say the avatar franchise has a mom problem this is exactly what I mean#80% of characters don't have a mom. the moms that are alive either have little to no screen time or mentions#or they're basically Schroedinger's mom in the sense that they exist but not really#the exceptions being like. pema and suyin. and maybe senna though she also has very little screentime#my point is. the twins are younger than korra. I know avatarverse has a precedent for putting kids on the throne. looking at you zuko#but really we should have gotten unalaq's wife as chief of the nwt#introduced her in book 3 during the lead up to p'li's prison break#but that's just my objectively correct opinion#northern water tribe chief raspberry when#(according to avatar wiki her name is malina so I've been calling her raspberry in my head ever since I found out#malina means raspberry in russian that's why. probably in a bunch of other slavic languages too idk I'm not an expert#and she shares a name with katara and sokka's weird white stepmom from the comics which no sane person considers canon. so that's fun)#the legend of korra#unalaq
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#kricketot#they kinda look like an enemy in a mario game. with the nose shape and the eyes. they're cute. they look like a guy whom mario could stomp#on their head and they would like. squish down and then disappear and drop a coin. does this make any sense#i guess so. actually i got a random shiny kricketot in my first playthrough of legends arceus. came right after the shiny luxio i got#both of which were like. my first “full-odds” shinies though some would argue they don't count bc they make a loud sound when they spawn#and it's not like. a “Real” pokémon game. which. is fair. i also got a lot of shinies in scarlet/violet but you can see those in the overwo#ld too so maybe those don't count either? if those are our criteria then i have never gotten a full-odds random shiny before. in a pokémon#game where you can't see shinies in the overworld. but i'll still always remember kricketot as one of the ones that i did get#i was like. climbing up the mountain behind the second camp in obsidian fieldlands. the one where you get wyrdeer and fight kricketune#and one just fucking. spawned. in the grass. i heard the sound effect and just Turned. and there it was. threw a jet ball at it or w/e they#'re called and got it. and i can't remember what i named her but i do remember she was female
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Sammy pls.
#swan watches camp cretaceous#sammy gutierrez#tiff#girl means it too#camp cretaceous#jwcc#...I feel like I don't like the timing on this one#might have to redo it#think isolating it to when she just has her head turned might work better#though it does have a loop effect#the gaydar did ping in this scene though#BUT SHE'S STILL FOURTEEN#maybe#when's the funniest-slash-most-tragic-slash-best date to put her quinceanera?#obviously it's too easy to have it be after they leave#then she gets to celebrate it with her family and her new family#think it's best if it's a date where they don't know#just her idly having the thought as they build the treehouse or something#or a day when they're stuck up a tree thanks to the plot triceratops#I've gotten off-track here#BUT WE MUST KNOW#oh should it be when Scorpios got her?#hm#look you can do anything
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Type of person who says "I think my lipstick would look soooooo good on you!", gives you a kiss on the cheek, declares their lipstick looks fantastic on you and they'd like to see it on you more often, then breezes on by all those mixed signals to continue on with whatever was at hand.
#▌ ◈ shi qingxuan ; ⌜ study ⌟#yeah this is all i've got until later i think#discord convos got me holding my head in my hands. lady u've got to learn how to differentiate between different affections#surface level its cute sure but beneath i think its worrying. maybe even irritating/contemptable. depends on the person.#girl who cares you so so so much but her stunted emotional advocacy/expression makes her seem airheaded and unserious#girl who plops you both down into the friendzone bc she's wholly unaware of her own capacity for intimacy beyond friendship#when i say intimacy i mean genuinely any display of connection/attraction/what have you#queen of mixed signals and hard to get bc she's not reading her own signals and doesn't know she wants to be gotten#her ignorance is wreaking havoc yet again!!!!!#i have so many thoughts about sqx and Deep Feelings:tm: be they platonic or any other type of attraction#but this'll have to do for now. ogh. hopeless romantic but quite literally hopeless. so entirely hopeless. girl u've got nothing.#what is it tsun and i say.... stuck in the dark forest (metaphorically) (literally) (horrible beast)
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my wife's staycation is officially over 😔😔 she just went into her little office 😔 i am in mourning
#she has two vacations coming up for holidays at least ;-;#it was such a nice little week tho. i am so sad it's over#her getting paid leave to make out all day every day for a week is truly a gift#we re-started the very first campaign we ever played in the system we wrote together also and it's been so fun#i hope her first day back isn't too rough :( she's so nervous about it and she has to give a presentation on tuesday#but the only clients that bugged her this past week were not her own even bc she prepped them all for it#so hopefully it won't be too bad today on her end#i've had i have nothing by whit/ney houston and unbreak my heart by toni brax/ton stuck in my head so i'm going to listen to those#perhaps on repeat#and then maybe watch ds/9#idk :( this is so pathetic but i'd gotten re-used to having her around all day and it was so nice :( missing my wife hours are here again#*dykeposting
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#something very nauseating about looking back at all the times these last few months ive said i feel confused and dazed a lot and forgetful#and that i was having trouble with writing and putting words together or even just talking to people like normal#and have that not be because my anxiety has gotten so bad. but because I've had a hairline fracture on my skull this whole time#and i wouldn't have known if i hadnt bumped my head on the car door and then slipped on the stairs the next day#bc if i hadnt slipped on the stairs nothing would have convinced me that i maybe need to go back to a hospital ever again. i hate being in#the hospital i hate remembering all the nurses and doctors who treated me like a dangerous freak. but lol at least some of them called#me pretty at least some of them looked at me and decided i shouldnt be here. like there's a difference between me and the kid who's been#abused and neglected in every for her whole life who confided in me over and over each time with a different face#bc the nurses never realized that none of us kids belonged there and that none of us were ever freaks just very badly hurt#being so good at downplaying things and getting thru things is going to kill me someday unless i change and i mean that
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Cozytober - Day 11 - Candles
#Cozytober#Margot's RF Art#Rune Factory#RF#RF1#Rune Factory frontier#RF Frontier#Dude last night was the most sleep I've gotten in like a WEEK. I felt so relaxed working on the bg to this#Before this I'd slept in like 3 hour spurts for a few days in a row. Lordy. Tired#Also inspired by my sister's love for scented candles. She has SO many EVERYWHERE. Perfect to read or chill to in her opinion#Tagging as both games Rosetta is in though I grabbed room screenshots to RF1 due to easy emulator resource#I like to think she visits dad back in Kardia a lot so maybe she's chilling for the night before heading back#Rune Factory Rosetta#RF Rosetta
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turns out out of everyone at my job, im the only one who didnt get their pay check over the holiday 🙃
#we normally get paid every other week right? so i just assumed i got me weeks mixed up and itll come next wednesday#but apparently that Wasnt the case! and it took my manager mentioning getting their for me to realize that#and then she messaged her boss and all i got is an “ill look into it”#maybe im just making it a bigger deal than it really is but like? what?#the pay checks at this place are a bit inconsistant sometimes#like they randomly shifted a day for all of us and idk abt anyone else but i didnt get an explanation/heads up for that#but like. ive never just Not gotten one#my only guess is it had something to do eith the holiday but then why did no one else have any problem?#ug this is just so annoying#og
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i need to kiss someone right now. i need to hold their face as i lean in for the kiss. i need to feel their lips against mine and have our tongues slide across each other. i need to feel the slight hesitation before they finally give in and kiss me back with everything they've got. i need to feel the saliva stringing between our mouths. i need to feel their hands pulling me closer, desperate to feel all of me
#i just woke up from a dream where one of my friends wanted to kiss me but was too shy about it#but i could tell they wanted it so i gently rubbed their face and leaned in most of the way#and let them close the distance. they were still nervous until i slipped my tongue into their mouth#in which case all worry left their head and they kissed me back proper#and it was everything I've ever wanted in a kiss. but now im awake completely unkissed#I'm tired of getting teased by my dreams like that..#i get stuck with all this vivid passionate imagery and no fucking outlet#i feel so pathetic yearning this hard but all my peers have had their first kisses#friends that i wanted to kiss going and kissing eachother in front of me just for the hell of it#the girlfriend i dated for longest refused to kiss me. i got like. maybe 2 cheek kisses? never once on the lips#even when i asked she would say no. i dont resent her for it but Man did it hurt#the closest I've ever gotten was one of my friends shotgunning me hits from his bong#every time my heart flutters and i want to kiss him for real#ive just been searching for someone to kiss me for a very long time#and ive just never found them...
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