#and that’s not the kind of bond I get with a lot of people

[buggie-eyed]

I need people to understand that Kai is literally so awesome. He's not an incompetent dumbass (at most, he was a 16 year old who had to be a grown up too early in life), nor is he a natural badass. He worked really hard to be where he's at, and he's earned his cool fighter status over the years all on his own. No green ninja stuff needed.

He clearly forms really nice bonds with female characters in the show, starting with his dear sister. I don't see why they all have to be familial bonds every time though. Can he not take a kid under his wing without it being "brotherly" or "fatherly?" I really like him being paired with the kids (Wyldfyre and Bonzle) because we get to see his newer mature side on full display.

I like lava as a concept in early seasons, but I would hate for them to be cannon in the present. It would at least have to take a lot of development for it to work. And I mean like a jaya kind of development.

I do think people are free to have fun with Kai as an "oc." The fandom does that with everyone, and we really can't stop it. I do agree that sometimes it feels like full on character assassination, but the occasional "I think Kai would do [insert something silly and non-cannon]" is chill. Still, I do think having a little guy that is constantly being misunderstood all the damn time is really annoying.

Yeah Kai’s my favorite character. Yeah he’s my special little guy. No, I don’t think he should’ve been the green ninja. Yeah, I think it’s antithetical to the point of his entire character and also would have been a really stupid way to end that arc. No I don’t think he’s WyldFyre’s dad, that’s HeatWave. I also think it’s out of character for him to give Roby the shovel talk. Yeah, he wouldn’t fucking say that. Oh no I’m not really into Lava. I think it’s incredibly oversatured from being the default Kai ship for years, and that no one really characterizes them correctly. Yeah, every time I go into the main tag I get pissed off, cause a lot of people don’t seem to actually Get Him and has just OC-ified him to point of being unrecognizable. It’s whatever I guess.

[skycowboys]

Heya!! Just got to sift through the artbook as it arrived a few days ago and i am absolutely IN LOVE with the art, blown away by the concepts and character art– all of it is fantastic and delicious food for the noggin, esp as an artist myself, and a horse + wild west enjoyer. ^v^)o In essence: 10/10, yall outdid yourselves! 

I also had some questions, if it's okay, (no pressure or anything)– but I was interested in maybe making a character for the world (if we can do that sort of thing); and I am absolutely enraptured and fascinated by the concept of “Boltslayers”, and I love, love, love the Lightning fish. (Big monster/creature design enthusiast so i adore them snbgdhjndgh)

1: are there any kind of specific pegasi that Boltslayer pilots would use/ride for that sort of thing? Or is it up to the pilots discretion/preference? (i.e: if longwings would be preferred for speed and maneuverability for example!)

2: I'm also super curious if Boltslayers hunt Lightning fish to keep their populations in check, and/or if it's like an actual career (as actual big-game hunting), or if it's more or less a ‘’hobby’’ for some, as a way to get some extra coin or whathaveyou. 🤔

Anyway yeah that sums my thoughts up haha XD apologies for the yapping. Might check out the discord server at some point! Can't wait to devour more of your amazing art in the future. Best wishes!! ~ NEO 💜

Hello!

I'm so glad you received your book <3 And I'm so glad you like it! I put a lot of time into it and it's fun to see it resonate with people :)

Heck yeahhh! Boltslayers are fun! One of the characters in the upcoming comic is a boltslayer. Here's a sneak peek of her -

Yes! Broadwings, certainly. Within that class, there are a few breeds that do exceptionally well like firefoot and deepwood broadwings (Sniper above and Semrah below are both deepwood broadwings).

These broadwings have extreme tenacity and focus. Just as important is the bond between pilot and pegasus. Both have to 100000% trust each other with zero doubts because when you're hunting lightning fish, doubt means death. Any pegasus that has those qualities can be used in a hunt.

2. Boltslayers most often hunt lightning fish as a job. The payday for felling a LF can be massive and can be residual as long as the LF is being harvested. Boltslayers work with trusted merchants who manage the harvesting after the LF is down, and collect the boltslayer's cut of the materials sold over time. So boltslayers don't have to hunt very often.

There are some who hunt for sport, but the majority of boltslayers see the sport hunters as posers and will avoid them. To a *real* boltslayer, pitting yourself against a LF will result in a death: you or the LF. Risking your life for sport is seen as stupid and disrespectful to the LF, who will throw everything it has at you. Why waste a whole LF for your own glory? Even if the LF is harvested, a sport kill is seen as cheap and distasteful. If you're a sport hunter, good luck trying to find a team that'll hunt with you.

That said, all boltslayers are crazy daredevils in some respect. Hunting LF is incredibly dangerous and difficult. It takes a certain kind of person to master it. Boltslayers like to spend time at Fen's Ascension and practice their skills in "mock hunts", where you're really just playing chicken with young LF and don't actually engage in a hunt to kill. This can be done alone, where as real hunts are done in teams.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I hope that answers your questions! We'll all be happy to see you in the Discord if you choose to join :)

~ Larn

For anyone new seeing this aaaaask:

Art book | Sky Cowboys Discord Community

[the-bulletproof-heart]

I'm Jedi Critical until the day I die, but the one thing I can fully agree with the Jedi defenders on is that Mace Windu really got screwed over by both the movies and the fandom. He wasn't even that mean to Anakin compared to someone like Yoda, who was a lot harsher to Anakin imo. All of Windu's concerns about Anakin are justified. He's skeptical about Anakin being the Chosen One because there is absolutely no evidence for that other than Anakin being more powerful than the average Jedi. I honestly think Windu was looking out for Anakin in his own way. He's basically saying it's not smart to put all the Jedi's eggs in one "chosen one" basket, which is true. If more people had treated Anakin like a normal Jedi the way Mace does, he wouldn't have been under so much pressure. And I don't think it's "mean" at all to say that a 23 year old is not emotionally mature enough to be a master. It's kind of true, especially based on Anakin's actions.

Like, I think the Jedi screwed Anakin over in a number of ways, but I don't get why the fandom targets Mace specifically? I honestly think he was trying to do the best thing for Anakin. And I like to think that they were genuinely friendly with each other. They almost died together in CW. That's gotta be a pretty big bonding experience.

[biocrafthero]

Posting my card analyses I wrote in discord about the cards

------

The stem of the glass makes the apple also look like a wine glass or a chalice

water looks like blood

DNA helix has red and blue colors on the two ends and nothing in the middle (red and blue appear all over this set and the helix is a new piece of symbolism for n25)

The apple in the water links back to all previous apple symbolism in the game. The skin of the apple is slightly peeled off

Mafuyu is the only one wearing this amount of white. By contrast, Kanade is wearing the most amount of black (more on that later)

Back to the cracking glass, its likely that Mafuyu would fall into the water(?) if it broke

Mafuyu is looking at the apple in the water. Based off of previous cards, this is probably meant to imply that she was the one who dropped it into the water

Mafuyu's card is the only one that isn't listed to the side by 45 degrees

The ferris wheel has wings on it, similar to symbolism from the Immiscible Discord event (another Kanade focus)

The ferris wheel, along with the shadows in the backgound, look fake. It looks like a shadow cast by a stained glass window, the spaces between the spokes of the wheel colored with an alternating red and blue palette

Kanade and Mafuyu's cards have balloons with strings. In Ena and Rin's cards the balloons don't have strings

Thank you to oomf for rotating the card for me btw

She is the only character seen holding onto any of the balloons. The string is highlighted with purple the closer it gets to her hand

Clocktower in the background has the hour hand at 1

Kanade is wearing the outfit with the most amount of black in it, contrasting with Mafuyu's outfit

The distortion effects on the card make it almost feel nightmarish

Kanade is wearing a specific kind of accesory called finger armor. Usually, the points of them are very sharp. This puts her in a very specific role in this setting, where she is the only character who wields something sharp in a world of fragile things (sharp objects popping balloons)

More bug symbolism on clothing, again like the Kana3 event's trained cards

Her expression is a really spiteful looking one. It's somewhere between angry and determined, so I'm choosing the emotion of spite to describe it. She never makes faces like this, only during Main Story and Kana3 was she ever in an emotional state like this

Some other things I brought up is the blood/water from Mafuyu's card reminding me of the saying "blood is thicker than water", the full saying being "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" which is meant to say that the bonds we create with other people will always be stronger than the familial bonds we are born into

The carnival/theme park setting also feels like its calling back to how in Mafu3 we learn that she got lost one time at Phoenix Wonderland as a child

The nightmarish appearance of Kanade's card thematically contrasts with the dreamlike nature of the memory that Mafuyu recalls during Mafu2

A friend pointed out that the ferris wheel's shadow in Mafuyu's card, paired alongside the bug in the center, makes it look like the bug is caught in a web

This Rin card is likely Rin witnessing Kanade passing out onto the floor due to Kanade overworking herself (like she did back in the flashback during Kana2)

This card from a valentines event parallels the Mafuyu card

This card is likely Ena attempting to get Kanade to eat/drink something so that she doesn't collapse again. Kanade as usual seems to be trying to wave off the kind gesture because of how little she values her well-being and how much she prioritizes composing. What I like is that, while Ena does look annoyed at Kanade, she shows a lot of concern for her (its very noticeable with the position of her eyebrows trust me)

Rin's pose here reminds me of those tiny ballerina figurines inside of music boxes

I don't have much to say about Ena's card either but I really like her expression. It makes me curious as to her role in this event....

Event logo is very similar to the logo for Immiscible Discord. Someone on instagram posted about this so I'll try and repeat their points

The glitching effects are very similar (obviously the colors are similar because its the colors of all the unit members)

The lines on the music sheets are all covered with glitch effects. As shown with her frustration

The apple is behind the music lines (idk correct term sorry) to show that Mafuyu's heart is unreachable

The music lines are wavering but steady out near the end. While the main obstacle is not overcame, focus has been regained

Anyways here's all of the leaks we have at the time of me posting this that other people uploaded to here (including the song and 2dmv) I will now promptly explode

[spread-the-influence]

this will actually be long buckle up

for a while , i wasn't able to pinpoint what felt Missing in the way Most people write ragatha's dynamics with the other characters . even in non-romantic content i still feel like there's something missing .

and then one day i went I Got It !!!!!! it's because they lack Tension !!! :D that's a word i'll use to describe ragatha's dynamics with the other characters . it's Tense .

it's interesting because one might assume ( and i'll admit , i was Guilty of this ) that for the emotional distance ragatha puts between herself and others , there's still some element of a connection . like maybe she's close to gangle . but from what i've seen of the four episodes thus far , it looks like she has Tensions with everybody . not in a sense that there's a mutual dislike , but in a sense that ragatha's insincerity is distancing her from the cast .

let's take ragatha & kinger ! it's heavily implied that they have a long history . it's not exactly confirmed Yet if ragatha was even there during queenie's time , but she was Surprised that kinger remembered her first days , which implies they once had a close relationship that was distanced because of kinger's ... well , mental distance . furthermore , ragatha is Arguably at her most sincerest in that conversation with kinger . she's not talking about her feelings directly but you could get the hint , which is what lead kinger to say ' don't take it too personally ' . so , there's the tension ! they were once close , but now that faded away . sad !

this is the one dynamic where i would see the best non-romantic ragatha content . while kinganubis's ao3 fics on ragatha & caine are my absolute Favorites — mainly for how they're good at encompassing That tension i'm looking for — i always saw pretty good stuff for ragatha & kinger . even if they're always a gut punch !

ragatha & gangle . this one is interesting because i've always kind of sensed there's some kind of Tension between them ? in the second episode ; ragatha doesn't really stand up for gangle — at most , she'll just berate jax but she isn't like Consoling gangle . third episode ; while i know that gangle's in her tragedy mask , she doesn't really seem At Ease , even though her biggest bully is tied up ? fourth episode ; gangle admits that she's unsure of ragatha's sincerity , and there's that One comment . basically , these two's bond is Rocky at this moment .

i do not think that they hold Dislike for the other ! it's just that i feel like gangle has caught on to how performative ragatha is and that's where the Tension comes in . in episode four , she only briefly asks if gangle is okay and didn't even Wait for an answer or Help her up before berating jax . not demonizing ragatha here , i love her for her Flaws , she's just objectively not a good friend to gangle . this is headcanon territory , but i feel like ragatha acts more on what she Thinks gangle wants rather than what gangle Actually wants . zooble's the one who's actually consoling and helping gangle by offering the mask and talking to her at the end of the episode .

speaking of zooble , ragatha & zooble ! they may not have many canon interactions but as the bullshit connoisseur i still have a lot of thoughts on them . i don't think their level of tension goes to the levels that gangle has with ragatha , as they are on friendly terms , but considering their Personalities , i like to headcanon that there is a little bit of it . the vibe to their canon dynamic to me right now is just ' they only talk to each other because their mutual friend is gangle . ' they're the type of pair that'll have the most Awkward silences if you left them both alone in a room .

why do i think there's a little bit of tension ? well ... they're opposites ! like , literally . put the most grounded and outwardly blunt character together with the most dishonest and outwardly nice character , and you're going to get the tasty opposites attract babyyy . they also have differing philosophies on how to cope with the circus - with zooble just Rejecting all of the insanity and whimsy by denying to be in the adventures and doing their own thing , while ragatha assimilates by immersing herself in the adventures and putting up a positive facade . i feel there's a lot of potential for exploration here

oh boy . ragatha & jax . i will admit that i think about them the Least when it comes to ragatha's dynamics , but that's because there's already a lot of attention on the duo in the general fandom . i saw people bring up the red string of fate in that One merch photo and i just . nodded . yeah . they're connected . not in a shippy way , but in a Horror way . like . This is possibly the worst thing to ever happen to the Both of them ( but Especially for ragatha ) way . these two are a yin-yang . whether they like it or not .

i don't think i really need to explain how exactly their dynamic has tension because their dynamic is just capital t Tension . i do not think jax dislikes ragatha , in my eyes he finds her one of the most entertaining to mess with . like she's more of a favorite toy than a friend or enemy . meanwhile , ragatha Very much does not like jax but still makes efforts to get along with him . episode one , she goes along with his plan of going to kaufmo while the others deal with the adventure . episode two , she tried to reassure him by saying there Probably might be violence in the next adventure . and episode four , she lets him be the batter . ragatha does Not like jax but it's clear her want to be liked and please everyone extends to also pleasing jax .

what really gets me with ragatha & pomni is that it's the closest relationship ragatha has in the show thus far , and yet it's one that's the most one-sided . i'm not saying that there's no bond there at all , more that the foundation of their friendship is Nearly Non-existent .

okay , let's break this down . ragatha's been a Big part of pomni's character development . she's not the only one who made an impact on her , but she very much has helped pomni feel less alone by constantly reaching out and showing concern over her . she was friendly to her when she appeared , invited her to kaufmo's funeral , and the way she consistently showed concern over her . without ragatha , pomni would've Never recognized that there was a community in the circus . in fact , i feel like if ragatha didn't invite her to the funeral and have indirectly given her that epiphany , pomni would've Not gone past the second day

there's pomni thanking ragatha in episode three . and in episode four , there was that way she Turned Her Head at ragatha before saying goodbye to gummigoo , and how she Brought her up when she talked to gangle . she's fond of her by this point

so why am i saying it's one-sided ? well , because Ragatha Does Not Know Any Of This . the Character Development Moments pomni has are done when RAGATHA'S NOT WITH HER , or in the case of episode four , WHEN SHE'S HIGH . our impression of pomni is that she's compassionate and empathetic , that she's afraid of being alone , and she's helpful . ragatha's impression of pomni is that she left her for the exit door , came out after inexplicably disappearing to make a friend with an npc over Her , and thanked her for showing concern before turning around the next day to hang out with that same npc . the Tension , man

and as a tiny bonus , for a dynamic that's just Pure speculation , ragatha & caine ! so , caine's pretty bad at reading subtext , he takes everything literally . ragatha is possibly the Most dishonest out of the main cast , And she pleases everyone , even people whose opinions she shouldn't care about . the tension writes itself .

if you read this entire thing by this point — which is like , Wow thank you for reading this behemoth of a post — you might think that ragatha's separated from the cast . like , this shows that she's pretty Isolated . she doesn't exactly have Zero friends but it's not like these people know her deepest insecurities . so , is she beyond help ? ... absolutely not .

keep in mind that None of them hate her . for all of ragatha's flaws , she has an equal amount of redeeming traits . she's kind , selfless , and means well . shit may be rocky between her and gangle at the moment , but gangle has shown that she still cares about ragatha . zooble's friendly towards her and even got worried about her , and we've known that kinger cares in his own way . and jax ... well i feel he'll think things would be less entertaining if she isn't there to get angry at him . and pomni pretty much has only seen ragatha at her best thus far . they would ABSOLUTELY do anything for her

the only problem really is that ragatha's so deeply Insecure that she's people-pleasing all over the place and in turn , it pushes them away from her because she's being insincere . while i think her concern over everybody is real , she just never shows her genuine feelings . again , her most sincerest moment when she's not under the stupid sauce is a conversation where she's Very Indirectly telling her feelings

so yeah . ragatha wouldn't abstract ... fully . keep in mind that at this moment she probably does feel unloved - like , the ' i wish someone would flirt with me ' in episode four hints at that . i predict that all of the tension would accumulate until ragatha has The Breakdown™ and then she finds out that everyone does careee and she doesn't fucking die :DD

alright i'm done going to go eat mac n cheese bye

Your Toybox doodles and hcs just inspired me and made me write a 2/3 chapters long fic this is all your fault/silly

yes YES spread the toybox agenda YES

i would love to read it if it's done ! and that's totally not because there is literally no fan content of ragatha & zooble and i'm getting desperate at this point —

[bambino1294]

💌 hey hey heyyy

HELLA 🤎🤎🤎

You are genuinely one of the most impressive people I’ve ever met. Your love for your writing and the stories you tell is so amazing to see, the care you have with crafting your worlds and your characters is just incredible. You work so hard to do your best in life even when things are looking messy or dire and it’s really inspiring, plus your humour is one of my favourite’s, you always have something going on on your blog that’s enough to cheer me up.

I love looking back on that chat last summer, it holds a really special place in my heart as a time I felt really comfortable with someone to express my ideas and story and know that they’d get it. I look back on it really fondly as a marker of our friendship, especially as writers, and I don’t think I’ll ever be over it lmao

[artilite]

many many isabeaus... and some sloopis's of course :^) !!!!

i like consolidating my doodles so that's probably what i'm going to do for the most part from now on (^^ゞ!

[peace-hunter]

i know i just said megop is endgame for the haunted au (and i stand by it!!!) but do know i do dabble on a little bit of everything when it comes to OP. i'm sorry i just think everyone should love my wife as much as i do. and he deserves as many partners as he wants <3

so like. yes he is still hung up on megatron and they will end up together but also he has a dozen boyfriends and a girlfriend in the meantime. and maybe even after he gets back with megatron. he only has two hands but he runs a tight schedule he can manage it.

[t-u-i-t-c]

Taiya Hando in Bakuage Sentai BoonBoomger 01x48 Your Handle

+ bonus

[sideprince]

I resent getting dragged into the discourse but it's wild to me that there are people out there who read the HP books and laud Harry for being brave and having a big heart and redeeming the wizarding world with his unusually great ability to love, yet can't comprehend how he could learn to appreciate Snape's sacrifice.

I'm very specifically thinking of the fact that Harry watches Snape die. Snape, who is lying on the floor, gripping Harry's robes, and whose eyes Harry is looking into and seeing the life leave. I don't understand how people can humanize some fictional characters and treat them as if they were real and completely dehumanize another. Not even for Snape's sake, but for Harry's sake, do these people not understand what it is to watch someone die? What's the expectation, that the Capacity For Love Posterchild protagonist steps out of character and doesn't care about the guy he watches bleed out and die suffering because you, as a reader, don't like him?

Which is it? Does Harry have a huge capacity to love or not? Pick a lane. Either you value this character trait in Harry or you don't. But you have to take or leave everything it comes with, otherwise you're a hypocrite. Or maybe illiterate.

I just don't GET it.

[missameliep]

Awwww!!!! I've found your reblog randomly on my notes and was 🥺🥰😍🥰😍😱🥹😭

Have i seen this before? Have I answered it privately? Am I getting amnesia, or is tumblr messing with me?

I really don't know anymore.

What i do know is this feedback of yours put such a huge smile on my face yesterday, and I went to bed happy and had to read it again now before knowing what to say.

I'm so happy you enjoyed it in spite of being a huge chapter. These days, whenever I get to write Second Chances I'm trying to move the plot foward as much as possible to at least reach the point I want to in their story (even if i dont get to write all that ive planned years ago).

I absolutely love Briar and love writing for her. Briar and Edmund’s side story will develop in its own pace but I'm trying to keep the vibes from book1, when they had a lot going on while all the drama ensues in the main plot.

Oh! I debated so much on including that part of Hamid's reasons to drink, I considered leaving this as something that lingers in his mind but he won't get to share for a while, but I thought it was important for their bond, to build trust and it would mean a lot to Elizabeth that he shared something like that he didnt tell his sisters. It's in her nature, despite trying to be pratical and rational (which she manages to do so much less than she thinks) she is a dreamer and fantasises a lot, including about people, and often projects an aura of perfection nobody can achieve and intimidates herself. Getting close to this group of people and Hamid especially is opening her eyes more and more, not only to what she has to offer but to how much everybody is also struggling with their own things, even if not as tragic and dramatic as her own background...

I have a confession.

The kiss was supposed to happen in chapter 27, but I got anxious and greedy and just went with it. I think they wanted it too, so it's alright. Has it completely messed with all i had written before for the next 4 chapters? Absolutely, but oh well, my children are walking on clouds now...

I wanted the kiss to feel natural, and not be like staged with love confessions and all of that (even though Hamid is the kind of guy who loves big gestures and poetry and eternal love confessions), I wanted to show him being there, enjoying the moment without feeling the urge to follow some script or overdoing it (or maybe fearing just a little bit that if Elizabeth could get cold feet again).

Thank you so much for reading and always supporting my writing, Lori! Your can't even imagine how much it means to me! ❤️

Second Chances - Chapter Twenty Five: It starts with a kiss

Book: Desire and Decorum – Modern AU 

Pairings: Prince Hamid x Elizabeth (OC); Briar Daly x Edmund Marlcaster

Characters: Elizabeth Foredale (OC); Prince Hamid; Briar Daly; Edmund Marlcaster.

Rating: M (see trigger warnings in the notes bellow)

Word count: ~8k

Summary: After the drinking games at Edgewater, before sunrise, someone will reveal their feelings; and fortunately those suffering with a hungover, won't need to deal with it alone.

A/N: 

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except OC. Turkish words are translated in the notes in the end.

Trigger warnings: mentions of past drinking and drug consumption. Reader discretion advised.

This is my submission to @choicesprompts ' Flufftober 2024 Choices - prompts 1 (First Kiss)

September, 2018 – London – Friday night – six weeks before the weekend at Edgewater 

Slumped onto one of the large armchairs settled in the middle of the game room, Edmund used one controller to adjust the lights, a softer blueish hue surrounded them, and the other to select an option, starting the gameplay and its characteristic music blasted. 

Elizabeth sighed and asked, “Are you sure you’re not going? It’ll be fun.” 

“I avoided Theresa’s boring soirée at the Holloways and am finally free to enjoy a quiet night leading an assassin through Ancient Egypt, so unless a raging fire erupts, I’m not leaving this house.” 

“It's Friday night, Ed! I can’t believe you’d rather play video games instead of going out with us… Didn’t you say you and Annabelle were friends?” 

“I’ve said she was Harry’s friend, and we share a few common interests, but pubs crawl or whatever you folks will be doing is not one of them. Could you please move a bit to the left? You’re blocking the screen...” 

Crossing her arms, she huffed and stepped aside.  

“You complained you’re a twenty-four-year-old that lives a seventy-year-old man’s life and yet I’m inviting you to a night out with fun people and you’d rather stay home…” she shook her head slowly at him. 

“Not tonight, Eliza! Maybe next week I can go out and pretend to be young. But give me a few days’ notice to prepare myself...” 

A light tap on the doorframe and Elizabeth’s face darted to the brunette standing with a wide smile framed by flamming red lips.  

“Lizzy, I hope I’m not interrupting… but Annabelle and Luke texted they’re already there.” 

“I was just saying goodbye to my stepbrother. I don’t think you’ve met, have you?” 

The man sighed, before pausing the game. His gaze slowly moved from the screen and when he turned around to face the friend by the door his jaw almost dropped to the floor. The sight of the woman in black skinny trousers and a burgundy blouse waving at him with the most beautiful smile he has ever seen stole his breath away. 

“Hi, Edmund!”  

“Hi. Hello. You... Ah... Hi,” he mumbled, unable to control the increasing racing of his heart. Is this what a heart attack feels like? he wondered, while brushing his clammy hands against his trousers. 

Conscious of the impact she caused, Briar huffed a quiet laugh and shifted to address her friend. 

“Nice to meet you, Edmund,” she said while shaking his hand. “I hope we meet again.” 

“I am going with you!” he blurted out. 

“You are?” Elizabeth’s head whipped in his direction, and she stared in disbelief as he turned off the game and put the controller down at the coffee table. 

“I just need to go to my room,” he said rising from the armchair and brushing past them, “Five minutes. I’ll meet you by the door.” 

Briar’s eyes followed the man almost running down the hallway, and she giggled. 

“Does it run in the family?” 

With a puzzled look, Elizabeth’s eyes darted to the same direction Briar was staring and she caught a glimpse of Edmund sprinting down the hall, “What does?”  

“Being cute and a dork?”  

October 28th, 2018 – Edgewater – Sometime after the drinking game 

It’s hard to tell when Edmund realized it was not the best idea for an engaged man to go knock on the door of a woman who is not his fiancée. It's even worse to do so in the middle of the night while slightly drunk.

He should’ve taken a cold shower to get rid of the idea that wormed its way into his mind, overshadowing every other thought concocted by his brain.

But he didn’t.

Anyways, he hates cold showers.

Staggering out of his room didn’t clear his mind or brought the realization of how bad that idea was. Crossing the few meters that separated his room from Briar’s door didn’t do it for him either. Not even when he tapped lightly with his knuckles, praying she was already sleeping and wouldn’t hear it - however, even then, his heart was clutching at the hope she would. So that was not that enlightenment moment either.

When the door slightly cracked open to allow visual confirmation of the night visitor, Edmund took a deep steadying breath, but it did little to stop his hands from shaking.

A moment later, Briar leaned against the doorframe smiling at him with such warmth that it was impossible not to think she cherished him. Maybe the only woman who ever did. And that was the moment he realised it was either the most brilliant move or his worst idea ever. Still, he once more was torn between the options. 

Playing with a long lock of her hair, her gaze lingered on his face, and she asked with a smile, “Trouble sleeping?” 

“I need to talk. To get this out of my chest. Can I come in?” 

Masking her surprise with another smile, she nodded and moved to the side, no questions asked. 

That was their thing, wasn’t it? Heart to heart conversations in the middle of the night... Only this time, he would also see her face while talking... and maybe he would find the answers he wishes. 

The man zigzagged until his knee bumped in the bed, and he slumped on the mattress. Giggling, she closed the door.

“You’re sloshed, Eddie!” her giggles fanned his face when she sat on the bed beside him and helped him sit up.   

“I’m certainly not. How dare you imply – No, I’m utterly sloshed. I can’t even pretend I’m not.” He let out a heartfelt laughter, and she used a hand to cover his mouth and shush him.  

His clear blue eyes crinkled with a smile. The gentle touch of her hand and the proximity of their bodies made his heart race. It was a shame this blurriness prevented him from seeing her eyes more clearly and the natural form of her lips without any lipstick. But he could tell he loved them nonetheless.

“Quiet or you’ll wake everyone up,” she hissed, but there was no edge on her voice, while her hand slowly retreated. “What do you want to talk about?” 

“You’re beautiful,” he sighed, and a tentative hand reached out to rest on Briar’s cheek, who didn’t flinch. “The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Even more, when I’m sober, because I can really see you... You’re a bit blurred now... and I can’t see your eyes... and I adore your eyes�� they are so… so… intense… and warm... and kind... But my mind already knows you’re beautiful. Inside too. Not your insides... insides... like your guts... but your mind and your heart –” He stopped talking when she failed to stifle her giggles.  

“You’re laughing at me!” he mumbled, and pulled his hand away. 

Trying to stifle her giggles, she tried to remedy the situation, placing her hand on his bouncing knee when his uneasiness drove him to the edge of the mattress. She wasn’t certain if she wanted him to stay, but she didn’t want him to leave yet.

“Was that the urgent matter you needed to ‘get out of your chest’?” she questioned with a soft voice, matching the proximity shared. His attention immediately returned to her, and a timid smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. 

“No, but your beauty is too distracting…” There was a lilt of laughter in his tone, and his fingers combed his ash blonde hair back and rested at the nape of his neck.  

“I won’t apologise for that,” she huffed a laugh, and her cheeks were noticeable darker from blushing because of his words, and this alone almost sobered him up.  

Edmund leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and his breath carried the scent of mint flavoured toothpaste mixed with a hint of liquor – more than a hint, actually.  

She suspected the liquor fuelled this unexpected audacity, considering how shy and restrained he was during their ride this afternoon; however, if asked, he would say this was all about her, her presence was intoxicating, and his self-control reached its limit tonight. 

Her breath hitched when his hand touched her cheek this time. Closing her eyes, she revelled on the feather light touch of his thumb caressing her velvety skin, following a path towards her mouth. When he traced the curves of her lips, it quietened everything else but her thunderous heartbeats. 

Her tongue was emptied, no flirty or funny words ready to fly away... In fact, every brain cell was screaming for her to shut up and kiss him; and his were probably doing the same, considering the way his hooded eyes fixed on her mouth when he leaned even closer. Without any warning, he bowed until his lips were a hair’s breadth away from hers. Their gazes locked for a second that lasted an eternity, a silent dialogue between their yearnings.  

The pull of her luscious lips became so irresistible.  

Waiting for permission, his lips ghosted hers and they were so close he could almost taste her exhales. 

Briar said nothing, licked her lips and closed the gap.

At first, his lips touched hers delicately, then more insistently when his hand slid to the back of her neck and brought their faces closer. It was awkward for a few seconds, too much tension, noses bumping and eyes wide open staring at the other; until her hands cradled his cheeks and gently tilted his head to adjust his position.  

This was enough to make it more and more enjoyable. Her lips glided over his, and when she captured his lower lip between hers, he let out a barely audible gasp. And she made a mental note about his reaction.  

More confident, one of his hands caressed her knee while the fingers on the one nestled on the nape of her neck delved into her hair, eliciting goosebumps and she let out a sigh.

The moment he parted his lips, allowing their tongues to meet for the first time, it felt as if the sole purposes of their lips and tongues were to kiss one another.  

When she pulled away to try and catch her breath, his lips followed hers, and she smiled to herself satisfied, both hands cradling his face.  

Meanwhile, Edmund’s entire body tingled, and there was a pleasant warmth enveloping him, as if being swaddled by a duvet someone else warmed just for you.

Looking at her, his brain buzzed with a swarm of thoughts. Did he drink too much or was there really something different about kissing Briar? A spark. An energy. A connection. 

“Did you feel it too? Tell me I’m not bloody crazy…” he asked, leaning his forehead to touch hers. 

“I’m not a psychiatrist, Eddie… but I think you lost your mind. I definitely did, too.” 

With a huff, his head tilted back, and before another loud laughter escaped his mouth, she covered it with her hand. This time, he grabbed it and kissed her palm gently, and her eyes fluttered close. 

“We’re both too sloshed for this...” 

“I can’t… I can’t think of anything else. Only you, Briar.” 

Hearing those words was bittersweet. It was exactly what she hoped for, but not like this. Not a drunk confession. And especially not after spending time with Theresa and knowing she’s oblivious to their flirting and growing affection. And now they’re kissing while she sleeps! 

“You shouldn’t say things like that...” she chided, “Your fiancée is asleep somewhere... over there...” Her free hand pointed randomly at the wall beside them, and he grimaced.  

“This has nothing to do with her… let’s pretend for a moment I’m not engaged.”  

Frowning, she pulled her hand from his grasp.  

“What a nasty thing to say!”  

“Briar,” Edmund called her name, his voice softer and more slurred, but she didn’t look back at him and pushed his chest. “I told you, Theresa and I… that is not real… she doesn’t love me either… she loves… loved… somebody else… not me… but you and I… I –”  

“Is she aware of how you feel? Because the engagement seems pretty real to her! She showed me pictures of bloody wedding dresses!” 

Edmund’s hand rubbed his face, and he exhaled loudly.  

“If you’re here for a one nightstand, just... own it! Don’t sweet talk me...” 

“Briar, I think – not think, I know… I fell for you.” 

Slack jawed, she gaped, and it took her a few breaths to find the words again. “Eddie… You shouldn’t say that either. You do have a fiancée and you’re sloshed… I know you’ll regret everything tomorrow... and leave me heartbroken.” 

“Never. You got me head over heels… I’m yours.” 

Briar’s face tilted upwards, and she stared at the ceiling for a long moment and let out a loud frustrated exhale. If cupid was a real thing, she would murder hers slowly and painfully. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” she muttered under her breath. 

“Is it Woods?” 

“Arthur?” Her head whipped to look at him. “What does Arthur have to do with this mess?” 

“Do you love him?” 

“I-” she paused and pressed her lips together. “I could... eventually... but not when... because of this..." Her finger pointed back and forward at them. 

There was too much satisfaction in hearing those words, and he let out a relieved sigh. 

“You feel it too?” he asked, and his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“What if I do? Does it change anything?” 

Edmund tentatively touched her face and guided her eyes to look back at him. “It changes all!”

“How?” she asked, but immediately changed her mind and waved her hands. “Please, don’t tell me... or... I’ll believe you.” 

“Believe me.” 

He pulled her in for another kiss, and all the fight left her when his tongue swirled with hers. He was already leaning to push her down on the mattress, but she pushed him back.

“No more kissing.” Out of breath, Briar placed a hand on his chest to put some distance between them and held her head high. “Talk. Tell me what you’ll do. I won’t be anyone's playtoy.”

Edmund obediently complied. It felt invigorating to make plans for his own future without consulting with his mother first, and especially plans that included Briar. They talked some more and kissed one last time before sleep claimed their eyes sometime before dawn.

Briar's face was the last thing he saw before his eyes fluttered close, and he thought that was heavenly.

A persistent buzzing noise invaded Elizabeth’s dreamless sleep, almost like the sounds of cicadas in scorching summer nights demanding the world’s attention to their performance. Answering the compelling call, her eyes fluttered open, but it was the same as if they didn’t. Surrounded by darkness, the coldness kissing her feet that escaped from underneath the duvet reminded her it wasn’t summer. She immediately pulled it, rubbing the cold feet against the mattress.  

While her body reluctantly woke up and her brain regained consciousness, she was confronted by confusion and immense discomfort all at once, reminders of the insane amount of alcohol she ingested last night.  

Her head ached as if samba percussionists were beating repeatedly their instruments out of cadence to punish her. The parchedness in her mouth seemed like she had wandered the desert for days. Trying to alleviate it, her lips parted, but her mouth had dried out and it was difficult to swallow and get rid of the disgusting taste sitting on her tongue.  

The buzzing sound echoed again, attacking her ears, and she realized it was probably the mobile vibrating with incoming messages over the nightstand. Even though she wondered what time it was, the identity of the caller or texter and their reasons to be trying to reach her in what she assumed was the middle of the night didn’t pique her interest at all, if anything it riled her up for disturbing her rest. Mustering the strength to reach the nightstand to turn off the phone, she tried to roll over, but something blocked her path and restrained her motion. Not something, but someone. 

In the dark she couldn’t rely on her sight, but her other senses worked perfectly, collecting information of quiet sounds of breathing behind her, the light pressure of a body against her back, and the arm she finally noticed dangling over her waist underneath the covers. And lastly, the fragrance that reached her nostrils was unmistakable. 

“Hamid?” her voice sounded hoarse in the quiet room, almost unrecognisable.  

The body stirred, and he hummed his response. His warm breath fanned her neck, and if she wasn’t so overwhelmed, she would have enjoyed it. 

Why are you in my bed, dude? The question died in her tongue, but not the surprise stirred by his presence. 

“Do you need to go to the toilette again?” his sleepy voice reached her ears.  

Again? When did I even go to the toilet?  

Her mind raced, trying to cling to any memory that could explain Hamid sleeping on her bed. But she found none. Maybe she should take the hint, get up, go to the toilet, wash her face, and drink some water. And definitely get some aspirins before her head explodes, and something for the burning stomach and nausea too. And maybe if she feels better, she will remember. 

“I’m thirsty,” she said fighting the dryness of her mouth. 

His arm retreated, and his hand lightly brushed the skin of her abdomen, and soon was gone, but not the goosebumps on its wakening.   

“The glass is empty, but if you give me a minute, I’ll get you some more…”  

“Don’t worry. I’ll get up…” she said without moving to get off the bed right away.  

His weight shifted in the mattress. Hamid rubbed his eyes and stretched his arm aimlessly until his fingers reached the switch in the wall. The room was flooded by bright light.  

“Turn it off, please!” she squealed scrunching her eyelids. Her hands flew to her eyes, mostly because of the bright lights, and only partially because of the brief sight of his bare torso. “Why are you shirtless? Are you naked?” 

“Don’t you remember?”  

“I-I don’t…” 

“Allah Allah, I thought that was memorable...” 

The pacing of the tiny percussionists inside her brain grew even faster and stronger, and her heart joined the rhythm.  

“What are you talking about?” she dared ask with a strangled voice. 

“The re-enactment of the projectile vomit scene from the Exorcist,” he said very slowly, and realization dawned on her. 

“Oh, my god! I puked? On you?”  

“Fortunately, you had asked me to take you to the toilette, and my t-shirt was the target and not my face.” 

“I puked on you?” she repeated, shocked by the idea. 

What the flying fudge cracker! That's a whole new level of stupidity, isn’t it? Why did I drink this much? 

“I’m so sorry!” she mumbled, hiding her face in her hands. “That’s so gross… I-I… Sorry.”  

She wanted to run away and hide forever, but her body was so tensed it froze. 

“Hey,” he said softly, but she didn’t uncover her eyes. After calling her name, his hand reached one of hers, which she reluctantly let him grab – she couldn’t understand why on earth he was anywhere near her.

“It’s okay, Liz. You did nothing wrong.” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s untrue... I’m mortified... What else do I have to apologise for?” 

“Don’t worry, aside from the vomiting and being horny and handsy, drunk Liz makes delightful company...”

The joke did little to lessen her embarrassment. How can he be so chill about it? 

“What do you mean by ‘handsy’?” 

“You tried to kiss me and grab my butt.” 

“What? I would never!” she protested, knowing well enough that she prefers his sculpted torso and arms to his bottom, even though it has a nice round shape... And she's clearly still a bit horny. 

“You also took ‘no’ for an answer, which was remarkably respectful.” 

She let an exasperated huff through her mouth and pressed her hands against her face. “I can’t have this conversation now...” 

“We can revisit it some other time, I’ll gladly share the details.” 

“How about never?” 

Smiling, he sat straighter and lighted the lamp on the nightstand. His eyes, cleared of sleep, stared directly at hers, “Drinking like that is unusual to you, I understand. And you don’t have to feel embarrassed about what happened.” 

“That’s impossible...” she sighed and looked at him, wondering what else she has said and done. “Just to clarify, you’re not naked…” 

“No, I’m not. And I’d never cross that line. You were drunk and asked me to stay, and I did. To keep you company. That’s all.” 

Relief washed over her, and she smiled. “Thanks. For not… you know… and for sticking around.”  

“Don’t mention it. Someone had to hold your hair up, prevent you from dancing and falling on your magnificent bottoms, and bumping your head on the furniture.”  

“Oh, God! It did happen then!” Hamid nodded. “Is that why my head hurts?” Her fingers raked her hair, searching for any sign of a bump.  

“I’m pretty sure that’s the alcohol.” 

“What time is it?” 

He picked his mobile in the nightstand. “7:45.” Stealing a sideway glance at her worried face, his finger caressed the back of her hand, and he asked softly, “Are you sure you don’t want me to get you something to drink? Annabelle brought a bottle of isotonic drink. And I can get you something to eat…”  

“I – No, I’m fine now. Even thinking about food makes me sick… I’ll go to the... you know… and you... go back to sleep. Excuse me.” 

Hamid let go of her hand, and Elizabeth rolled to the opposite side of the bed, moving away from him, and not looking back even when she felt his stare. She swung her legs touching the carpet and noticed both her socks were gone. Her feet were heavy, just like the rest of her body, and she dragged them on her way to the en-suite. The touch of the frigid floor against the soles of her feet, caused her to shiver, and she mentally cursed not putting on the slippers. 

Closing the door, she barely had the time to turn on the light before her legs started giving away underneath her. Pressing her hands against the cool marble of the sink to support her weight, she avoided stumbling or collapsing to the floor. Performing every little task took too much energy, and she almost gave up on washing her face, but the invigorating cold water gave her the necessary boost to continue. By the time she took the toothbrush to her mouth, she needed to sit down. Flopping down into the wooden bench near the bathtub, she noticed Hamid’s white t-shirt soaked-wet dangling over the rim of the tub, and two pairs of socks hanging on the faucet.  

Suddenly, a panicked Hamid kneeling on the floor in front of her, begging her to keep her eyes open flashed before her eyes; was it a memory or her imagination? 

Her hand barely moved to brush her teeth, and her heavy eyelids were impossible to keep open with all the light around her. She would close them for one second, maybe two.  

The sound of the toothbrush falling and hitting the floor didn’t wake her up, but she couldn’t ignore the soft but persistent rapping on the door. 

“Liz,” Hamid asked softly, “are you alright?” 

Her hand rubbed the foam from her lips and chin, and she picked up the toothbrush from the floor. “I’m fine,” she replied getting up, and the movement made her dizzy. Slowly moving back to the sink, she heard him speaking again.  

“You’ve been in there for a very long time…” 

“I’m brushing my teeth.” 

She washed her mouth, took another gulp of tap water, and tied her hair in a high bun.

When she opened the door, Hamid was standing there, leaning against the doorframe with a worried look. It surprised her that he didn’t go back to sleep or to his own room. 

“How are you, really?” he asked, carefully speaking in a low tone that wouldn’t be uncomfortable considering the aftereffects of the alcohol.  

“I brushed my teeth, but my mouth still tastes like a smelly old brolly –” 

Hamid chuckled and it eased the frown of his brows. “That’s very specific. How do you even know what it tastes like?” 

“My mind does,” she sighed. “My head hurts. My stomach is on fire, and I could drink a bucket of water. And mostly I’m feeling incredibly dumb for drinking this much again...” And puking on you. 

“For now, we can take care of the head and stomach.” 

Walking past her, Hamid crouched and opened a door of the cabinet under the sink. With familiarity, he produced a white box with a red cross painted at the top from the first shelf and took a bottle of antacids and another of aspirins, both were placed on the sink in front of her.  

With a grimace she drank the liquid as instructed and the pill sat bitterly on her tongue while she waited for him to come back with the bottle of Gatorade.

Watching her swig half of the content of the bottle without stopping to breath, an amused smile parted his lips. 

“And for the dumbness –” 

“You’ll keep mocking me endlessly and not let me forget it...” her tongue was quicker and sharper than his ever would, and she huffed in frustration, letting her shoulders slump. 

“Why would I do that?” he asked softly, brows knitted together while trying to meet her gaze. 

She pursed her lips and said nothing in return. Shame taking over, her eyes focused on anything else but his face.  

“A word from you and I’ll never speak about tonight. A joke is not worth it, if it causes you pain. You can expect nothing but understanding from me. Like I said before, I truly believe you deserve kindness, hayatım[1], and not more criticism.”  

Her eyes flicked from her folded hands to his eyes, his expression changing from one of concern to a more relaxed one while he reminisced about the night before.  

“Last night, you have laughed, joked and been the most open around a group of people since I met you. You looked happy, truly happy. Relaxed. And that wasn’t just the alcohol. You were in a safe place and let your guard down. I agree drinking this much isn’t good for you... But why shaming yourself? Why not learning from it instead? You can’t change anything that happened, but you can make different choices in the future, if you desire, no? And if you don’t, I’ll hold your hair up again.” 

There was so much empathy in his tone that if she wasn’t so dehydrated, her eyes would be watering. She mouthed a soundless thank you and he inched closer. 

Standing behind her, he gently squeezed her shoulders, and they looked at each other’s reflections in the mirror.  

Instead of the pink plaid PJs, she was sporting a long sleeved green one with no buttons, and she wondered if Hamid was the one who changed it.  

As if reading her mind, he said softly, “Annabelle changed your clothes, after we cleaned you up.” 

“I must thank her later.” 

That was the first time she truly looked at herself.  

The reflection looking back at her was pale, her usual tan had completely vanished these past months; smudged eyeliner and dark stains of mascara accentuated the dark circles under her reddened eyes, which seemed smaller due to the puffy eyelids. She looked spent. The entangled hair had been pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head, and a few shorter curls had escaped the imposed restraint, sticking out close to her ears and neck. All in all, she was a complete mess while Hamid looked unfairly handsome with slightly flattened bed hair, the shadow of a beard and a big smile that caused the corners of his eyes to wrinkle; somehow, despite the vomiting, and deprivation of sleep she imposed him, there was so much adoration in his eyes that even in her current state was impossible to miss. 

“Hamid, can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“Why are we all here, Liz? Isn’t that the fundamental Philosophical question?” 

“Silly,” she chided, and his chuckle was so very close to her ear when he leaned forward that raised all the hair in her body and fogged her brain for a while.

“You know what I mean! You could be sleeping tight in your bed right now... instead, you spent the night taking care of my dumb drunk arse... when you had no obligation to.” 

“I like your cute dumb drunk arse...” He winked, and she rolled her eyes. 

“I’m serious.” 

“So am I! I’m a fan.”

Chuckling, Hamid hugged her from behind, his arms wrapped around her waist, and he rested his chin on her shoulder. “Someone needed to hold your hair, and let’s say I know what it feels to be so utterly sloshed and not having anyone to look after me.” 

“You do?”  

He hummed. His breath fanned the bare skin of her neck.  

“But I won’t bother you with such an inane story. Let’s get you to bed.” 

“I wouldn’t mind listening to it...”  

His lips twitched, possibly surprised by the request, and he looked at her reflection in the mirror for a long moment, the way she hid a yawn against a palm, but still tried to keep her eyes focused on him. 

“Maybe some other time...” he replied while gently turning her around, but keeping her in the circle of his embrace, “You look about ready to fall asleep in my arms... not that I’d ever complain about that….” He winked at her, very flirty, in that Hamid-like fashion that makes her knees weak, and even though it wasn't far from the truth, she recognized the diversion right there in his words.

“I like a good bedtime story...” she said softly, tilting her face up to meet his gaze over her shoulder, “And your voice...” She might’ve learned a thing or two about charming someone with him.

“Then how could I not humour you?”

Smiling, Hamid helped her sit on the bed and pulled the covers over her legs, and she remained sitting, looking expectantly.

In the dimly lit room, Hamid sat in front of her, legs crossed, took a deep breath and broke the silence.

“I only got really sloshed a handful of times... My sisters took care of me, helped me hide it from my parents... But one time, it happened during a trip with friends... We went to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate my 19th birthday. Most of my memories are fogged... You must have seen what happens to six lads with loads of cash partying at Amsterdam...” 

“I actually never been there...” 

“Haven’t you? I must take you there. It's lovely in the spring.” 

His fingers reached her hand, and his thumb was very distractingly caressing the back of her hand, following the paths of green veins till her wrist and back. Another distraction, she realized. Caressing the back of his hand with her free hand in return, she asked, “What happened to you?” 

He hummed, and she suspected he was carefully choosing the words to continue. 

“Everything went brilliant until the night before our flight... We went clubbing and met these girls, very friendly, seniors at uni, gorgeous… and had us wrapped around their fingers.” He chuckled. “We followed them like puppies to another club and to another... By the time we got to the third one, I was so wasted, I could barely stand on my own, but I didn’t want to admit it and go back to the hotel... So, my friend Lewis stayed with me, but while he was away hitting on one of the girls or whatever… I don’t know… I guess I accepted a pill that was definitely not aspirin…” 

“Someone drugged you?” her voice shrieked, piercing her own brain, and she looked at his face over her shoulder, and he clicked his tongue. 

“Nobody was sober at that point, and I probably said I was cool with it...” Hamid paused at her concerned expression and tried to explain, “The day before, I tried space cake and smoked a little hashishe... anyway... It was a harmless experience. We laughed for hours sitting at the grass...” 

“But you were already drunk! You couldn’t consent!” Elizabeth snapped, head racing with all the legal issues this story poses. This was the sort of thing she worried about whenever going our to clubs and parties and one of the reasons she was vigilant with her and her friends’ drinks, and to hear something like that happened to Hamid not in theory made her chest tight, even though he sounded so nonchalant about it.

Hamid’s shoulders raised almost to his ears, and he let out a deep breath; the smile faltered a little and his expression transformed entirely.

Was he regretting telling me?

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head, “I’m doing it again...” 

“It’s alright.” He intertwined his fingers with hers. “Maybe I should stop, so you can sleep.” 

She shook her head, widening her eyes to fight the sleep.

“I woke up at the hospital. Someone had found me lying on a bench at Oosterpark and called emergency. I had no documents, no coat, and no shoes... It was winter. My clothes were drenched from the rain…” 

“Wow... that's... you could have died...” Elizabeth pointed out the obvious, and instantly regretted it.

“Trust me, I know. The doctor gave me a long and detailed speech about hypothermia. And drugs. And unprotected sex, even though I don’t remember even kissing anybody… They poked me with needles, ran tests and gave me some pills just in case…”  

“Dude…” Elizabeth muttered but stopped before any of the concerns bubbling in her brain escaped again.  

He looked expectantly, but she didn’t know what to say. Taking a deep breath, she struggled to shut down that voice in her mind whispering judgmental and useless advice about something that happenend to him years ago, and listened to her heart. Pushing the covers aside, she moved on the bed and sat on the balls of her feet right in front of him.

“I – I’m sorry this happened to you,” she said softly and genuinely, and his expression eased when no chiding came out of her mouth.  

“I’m not,” he said, and the smile was back on his face. “Almost dying in such a stupid way had positive outcomes.” 

She gaped. “How can you see a bright side in this story, Hamid?” 

“There is always a silver lining,” he said with a familiar cheerful tone, but still soft enough not to bring her discomfort. “First, I realized I didn’t like drinking that much or getting hungover… I dance better, and my jokes are funnier when I’m sober. And from that day on, I’m an advocate of remembering the things I do and not losing my passport. So, I decided not to drink. Unless it is raki with babam and dedem[2]. Second, I don’t know if I’ll live a short or long life; but I can choose how to live my best life, with no regrets, appreciating the beauties, welcoming the joys... and obviously, adrenaline rushing through my veins fuels me!” He looked pointedly at her, and she remembered the incident with the horse. 

“Not with disregard to my safety,” he let out the words with a chuckle, holding her hands in his. “And, when my time comes, hopefully it won’t be blacked out drunk in a park bench...”

She held his hands tighter, as if possible to shield him from such a fate with sheer will. 

“I hope your learning process included finding a better group of friends,” she mumbled, and he chuckled.  

“Don’t be so hard, güzelim[3]. They are good people. At the time, we were too young and sheltered… mortality was not part of our vocabulary.”  

How incredible it must be to be so careless and not have this sort of concern!  

That was never the case for her.  

Death and sickness have been her companions in life for so long that her identity is linked to those grim subjects. In the past five years, no decision in her life has been made without considering either of them. Letting out a long and loud sigh, she pondered how different they were in so many more ways than she first assumed.  

“Gosh, if it were me… I’d…” she trailed off, and he jumped in to complete her sentence, “You wouldn’t leave me alone.” 

Lowering her gaze, but unable to control the blush that bloomed in her cheeks, she admitted he was right and that she wouldn’t leave him alone. 

“However,” she added, “I was going to say that if I were you, I’d never want to see those people again! How could they leave you like that? What sort of friend does that?” Her indignation transpired in her tone and disgusted face. 

“I don’t blame them. It wasn’t their responsibility to take care of me... I’m responsible for my choices, good or bad.”  

Meeting his eyes, there was no shame in them, on the contrary, Hamid’s countenance expressed relief. Noticing the attentive gaze studying him, he smiled. 

“I never spoke about any of this; not even to my sisters.” 

“Why not?” 

“They would gang up on me, obviously… and everything turned out alright. My friend Burak found my coat at the club, my passport and mobile were in the pocket... A happy ending.” 

She watched his face and the wide and bright smile directed at her. 

“You didn’t need to tell me either, so, why did you?” 

“There’s a simple explanation for that,” he said, a knowing smile playing on his lips. “In case you haven’t noticed, you are very special to me, Elizabeth Foredale, and I want you to know me. The real me. Isn’t this what people do? To get to know each other?” 

Even in the low light, his eyes were shining. His gaze could be described with many words, none of which was a synonym for friendly.

Touched by his words and without giving herself time to change her mind, Elizabeth’s hand cradled his jaw, and her lips touched his dimpled cheek in a gentle but lingering kiss.

After a fraction of a second to overcome the surprise, Hamid revelled on it, letting his eyes flutter closed to fully appreciate the gentleness of her touch, and his lips stretched into a wide grin.

It was nothing like the fleeting air kisses they often share. 

Before she considered ending the kiss, his hand covered hers, keeping it in place.

The alchool had drained her body, but right now every nerve was suddenly alight by his presence, by the warm touch of his hand on top of hers.

His eyes fluttered open to meet hers in a sidelong glance. They knew. They had crossed the line. They were no longer in friends’ territory. And, for the first time, she let herself want more, ignoring the boundary she herself tried to place between them.

She got greedy. 

When her lips slowly but steadily glided over the roughness of the slight growth of beard of his unshaved face to the turned corner of his smile, Hamid let out a soft exhale through his nose. The warmth of the air travelled over the skin of her hand and wrist inflaming her entirely, and her heartbeats sped up.

Taking a deep breath, her lungs were filled with Hamid's fancy perfume. It was intoxicating in an unexpected way: it quietened the entire world. Actually it quietened her mind. For once, her brain was entirely focused on this moment and all the overwhelming feelings Hamid stirred on her.

Any hesitancy slipped away at the sight of his tongue moistening his lips. And that was the last thing her eyes registered. Her brain could no longer focus on anything that was not Hamid's lips smoothly moving over hers.

His lips were very soft, incredibly so against her own. They brushed against hers for a brief quiet moment, but it was enough to irradiate a heat, an electricity throughtout her body. It was like a dam breaking, and she was flooded with so much want. The second time her lips brushed against his, she was certain this wasn't like any kiss she had before.

She pulled away enough to gaze into his eyes, the corners crinkled by an adoringly smile; even such a diminute distance seemed unbearable to Hamid, and his hand cupped her cheek to close the distance between their mouths almost entirely.

The tip of his long curved nose brushed against the tip of hers, and she could hear the smile in his voice when he said her name in awe, even with her eyes closed. His thumb brushed her lips, and butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

In her mind, Elizabeth envisioned more than once where and when their first kiss could happen. It always envolved a perfect romantic scenario, careful planning, fancy dinners and Hamid probably literally sweeping her off her feet. However, the reality was unplanned, and her brain might have short-circuited at some point... There's not even a carefully selected soundtrack playing in the background, just the sounds of their breathing and the pitter-patter of rain.

Yet, nothing could be more perfect than the way his lips welcomed hers. Her fantasies couldn’t compete with the reality of the tenderness of every gesture of his, the pressure of his lips, the light touch of his tongue over her lower lip, or the hand cupping her cheek so very gently.

When Elizabeth pulled back, his nose nuzzled her jaw and down her neck, and she gasped. The sound pleased Hamid, who hummed against her jaw and captured her lips one last time.

Her eyes met his briefly, but she quickly lowered her face, overcame by embarrassment and doubts of what to do or say.

The backs of his fingers caressed her cheek, and he whispered, “I could kiss you forever, Liz.”  

When her eyes raised to meet his, Hamid was already staring at her. His gaze could be described with many words, none amongst them was a synonym for friendly, and she rolled her lips inside her mouth.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” 

She shook her head, and took a deep calming breath.

“You make me feel many things,” -- happy, giddy, confused, excited... and several other she'd be mortified to admit even to herself... -- “’Uncomfortable’ is not one of them.” 

His lips split into the widest grin she’s ever seen, before he swallowed and asked in a low and husky voice, “Care to tell me how I make you feel now?”  

“Right now?” Her lips rolled inside her mouth, and she focused on the feeling of being in his arms earlier. Except for her dear father, she can’t remember feeling safer around a man nor willing to spend a lifetime in an embrace. “Happy. Safe.” 

“I am glad you do. I want you to trust me.” 

She met his stare again, and he was flashing a broad unabashed smile. They didn’t move an inch, staring into each other's eyes. Was she even breathing? She couldn’t be certain she was. 

“Aren’t you curious about how you make me feel?”  

His question startled her. Of course, she wanted to know that, but how could she speak over the thunderous beating of her heart and risking dozens of butterflies flying away if she opened her mouth, like in the Brazilian soap operas with magical realism she used to watch with her mother as a kid. She pursed her lips and nodded, which was enough for him to carry on. 

“You also make me feel many emotions, Liz. The most frequent is happiness. A complete, perfect and unwavering bliss whenever I am around you. And even when we’re not together… My days are more vibrant since you are in my life…” 

“Even after tonight?”  

“Why would tonight change anything?” 

“Aren’t you even a little upset? Tired?” 

“Tired?” He clicked his tongue. Leaning impossibly closer, he whispered into her ear, “Inşallah[4], someday you’ll see how long I can keep going without any sleep...” When Elizabeth shivered, the pleased smirk in his lips indicated that was the intended effect, and he rubbed his hands against her arms. “However, you, my dear, seriously need to rest.” 

“Actually, father wanted to have breakfast with me and after brunch I promised to go with Annabelle and Briar to this spa at Moorfield and –” 

“As much as I believe you to be an overachiever, you need to rest, Liz,” he cut off the flood of words. “Besides, the last Annabelle checked on you was around 4am... So, trust me on this, go back to bed, we won’t see any of them before lunch. And message your father, tell him you have a minor headache and will be staying in your room until you feel better…”  

Elizabeth listened to his reasoning and bit one thumbnail. Judging by the way she looked, no amount of coffee would keep her functional long enough to perform any social activity. Finally, she gave in to the irresistible call of the bed.  

Hamid went to the en-suite, while she typed the message to her father, ignoring the stinging feeling in her stomach, that could be guilty from skipping breakfast with him or due to the hole the alcohol probably burnt there. But Hamid was right, it was past the time to prioritize her needs, even if it meant disappointing others. 

After texting her friends, she was about to go through the several notifications in the screen, when the en-suite door opened and closed. Hamid’s silhouette strolling toward the soft light of the bedroom was all broad shoulders and strong arms. Over the screen of the mobile, her gaze fixed at him, admiring his confident swagger towards her.  

The blue light from the screen denounced her attempt of appreciating the sight inconspicuously, and Hamid grinned at the attention but for once chose to say nothing about it. 

When he turned around to settle the medicines and a glass of water over the nightstand, Elizabeth admired his taut muscles, and noticed the dimples on his lower back right above the waist band of his jeans. Her fingers craved to map every inch of his uncovered skin, and the thought alone sent a flow of heat all over her body. She forced her eyes back to the screen and turned the airplane mode on before putting the mobile away.  

Leaning forward, he touched the side of her face gently and kissed the top of her head. 

“I think you’re all set,” he whispered against her hair, “I’ll let you sleep now.” 

“You’re leaving?” her tone didn’t conceal the surprise and disappointment. 

“Don’t you want me to go?” 

“I-I wouldn’t mind… If you wanted to... stay... it’s a big bed…” She fidgeted with the hem of the shirt, without raising her gaze to meet his, and couldn't find the right words to speak, and stuttered the ones she found, even if they didn't make sense, “It doesn’t... mean that we... anything... I guess... but you don’t have to go. If you don’t want to.” 

“I understand," he said, smiling to himself. "If I stay, do we get to cuddle like before?” 

She swallowed and couldn’t prevent the smile from curling her lips whem she nodded.  

Without another word, he sat on the bed.

She moved aside to give him space, and went under the covers, lying on her back. The fragrance of his perfume on the pillows was inebriating.

When the mattress shifted with his weight, she took a deep breath. The lights were dimmed to their softest glow and a moment later, Hamid was lying beside her on his back, stirring the flutter of thousands of butterflies in her stomach. 

He stretched one arm, adjusted the pillow over it, and, with a nod of his head, invited her to rest her head.

Elizabeth obliged, moving closer and let her head rest in the pillow. Hamid's arm encircled her waist, he kissed her temple and whispered in her ear, “Sleep tight, Liz!”

Her answer was an almost inaudible “You too, Hamid.”

In Hamid's embrace, Morpheus visited Elizabeth unsurprisingly fast, not giving her any time for second guessing her decisions.  

A familiar melody invaded his dreamless sleep and Edmund stirred in the bed, failing to recognize his whereabouts.  

The mattress shifted when the woman sleeping beside him turned around, facing the other way. Flashes from their conversation and kisses invaded his mind, but were soon chased away by the persistent melody getting louder.

His hand patted his pants first, and then the space between them until he found the mobile that slipped from his pocket.  

It was dark and he could barely open his sleepy eyes, but he would recognize the caller’s picture anywhere.  

His gaze flicked to the black hair sprawled over the duvet, and he jumped out of the bed, instinctively shying away from the incriminating scene. Moving closer to the wall, he coughed twice, clearing his throat, before accepting the call, and prayed for silence. 

“Hello, mother,” he spoke in the lowest but clearest tone possible trying not to wake the woman in bed. 

“Let me talk to Theresa,” the woman barked the order, forgetting any rule of politeness – not that she reserved that kind of curtesy to her eldest son, especially not after he became the only one. 

“She’s currently not...” Edmund stuttered and considered what to answer. “We’re not together... at the moment. I was sleeping.” 

“She’s not with you!” The woman muttered something under her breath he could only assume were not compliments about his fiancée’s competence to follow orders. “Find her. And have her call me. Immediately.” 

“Alright, mother. I’ll let her know you –” 

Before he could finish the sentence, the call ended.  

The conscience of where he was standing and with whom and the possibility of a scandal was enough to force out of his body any sleep. A last longingly gaze focused on the woman sleeping before he cautiously sneaked out of the bedroom. This was just the beginning.

Notes:

[1] Hayatım – Turkish – term of endearment that means “my life” or “my dear or darling” in this context. 

[2] Babam and dedem – Turkish – father and grandfather. 

[3] Güzelim – Turkish – mean “my beautiful”. 

[4] Inşallah – In Turkish, the word inşallah or inşaallah means "If God wishes and grants" 

[dweamdoodles]

after binging all 16 of the skybound issues in one night I can confidently say that A) Elita-One is completely justified and I like her character a lot and B) for the sake of themes and narrative cohesion we will know when the run is ending when Soundwave can FINALLY FIX HIS CAT

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Lord of the Empty Isles

sci-fi/fantasy

set on a supposedly utopian planet recovering from a climate crisis, where bonds between people are able to be seen and manipulated (by some people)

follows a young man whose brother was cursed and killed by an infamous outlaw 5 years ago, and he’s finally able to curse him back - but it rebounds, as he’s somehow fatebound to the outlaw

to find a cure and save them both they have to team up, and he quickly finds out that the resources the outlaw is stealing go to the thousands of people neglected on prison planets, and he has to go against what he thought was right to help them

no romance, aroace MC, focus on platonic relationships

arc from netgalley, out june 6

[tomwaterbabies]

when hugo was a kid i think someone might have made a comment that olivia looks kinda creepy. not even with malicious intent necessarily, just how people think animatronics n stuff sometimes look uncanny or whatever. anyways this would have made him so upset he starts crying

[puppppppppy]

i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

[nonuggetshere]

I'm gonna continue with the requests later, but I also felt the need to doodle my two PVs with a little bit of gender on the side

They're both still very much genderless, but because not every non-binary/agender person will have the same perception/feelings regarding their gender and won't have the same gender presentation, I decided to mess around with it a little

Hallow is genderfluidv(though after some consideration I realised agenderflux describes them more accurately, but oh well, these labels don't even exist in their story so who cares), they're non-binary but their alignment fluctuates between fem-leaning, masc-leaning, something in-between and neither. They're fine with any terms and pronouns but mostly go by they/them.

Luna is genderfae/transfem, their gender fluctuates between agender and fem-aligned non-binary. They mostly go by they/them and gender-neutral and feminine terms, they're fine with she/her and some neopronouns, but any masculine terms and pronouns are a big no-no for them. Currently, I'm considering making them an enby lesbian, but that might change in the future.