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pascalpanic · 4 years ago

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Mirdal’ika (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: Reader takes care of the Razor Crest and the child while Mando is out hunting. When Mando doesn’t return when he’s supposed to, the book-smart reader has to learn some street smarts and help her Mandalorian.

WC: 4.6k

Warnings: violence, cussing, mentions of blood

A/N: Okay, I’m a nerd, a certified nerd as if that wasn’t clear. This is my love letter to the nerds out there, to the ones who had their first kiss a little late, who stayed in and read books rather than partying. I love you, you’re cool. Italics are for emphasis and internal dialogue, but in some places also to show that another language is being spoken. Hopefully that’s clear! Oh, also: mirdal’ika is a word of my own creation. No Mando’a word exists for “nerd” that I could find, so this is my interpretation of the language using my best etymological skills!

mirdala= intelligent, clever -’ika = suffix meaning small or little mirdal’ika = intelligent little one; Mando’a slang meaning nerd.

Growing up, you were the kid who had her nose buried in a book at all times. You rarely interacted with the outside world. While the other children on Tatooine made sandcastles or played games, drawing in the sand, you read encyclopedias and fact books, learning about the other planets in your systems and other cultures. Your fixation at age 12 had been on Mandalorian culture, fascinated by the warriors that were like faraway, mythical knights to your young self. As a child enraptured by fairy tales and stories of intergalactic heroes like Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, you’d somehow always been enchanted by the bad-boy type, the dark and mysterious man who reluctantly saves the day, more along the lines of Han Solo. Naturally, the fact that Mandalorians never showed their face was mysterious, and you’d admit that you dreamed of being swept away by the Mand’alor and having the privilege of being the sole person to see their face, of being a queen and finding true love. You later moved on to research other cultures, even teaching yourself various galactic languages should you ever get the chance to travel. That didn’t seem likely, growing up on a planet where the only claim to fame was Luke Skywalker’s brief residence a few towns over. Your knowledge of Mandalorian culture was part of what made you so special to Mando, your employer-friend-coworker-roommate-co-parent whose name you had yet to learn. You never asked questions of him. Never asked him to take off his helmet, never asked him what was under it, never asked anything too personal, understood that the helmet could only come off in front of members of his clan. You’d cut him off and finish a sentence when he’d explain something of his customs to you, stunning him with your knowledge. He liked it, and by association he liked you. You had bore much of your life story to him, and he gladly would’ve given you some of his. He had come to like you, to trust you even, but you never asked. For fear you wouldn’t want to hear it, he held back. You even spoke Mando’a, though he didn’t know that. It always brought a smirk to your face as he’d turn his back after calling you some sweet words in his native tongue, thinking you’d be oblivious. It shocked you at first; you didn’t expect such a stoic and silent man to be so openly flirtatious, but after a while it most certainly grew on you. You would tease him equally in another tongue, calling him handsome or dashing in Pak Pak or Bothese. It was fun, the way he’d try to guess what you were saying, usually assuming it meant something negative.

With your vast knowledge of languages, you’d both expected that you would be able to interpret the words of Mando’s adopted son, that his babbling would be easily deciphered into some species’ tongue. Eventually you realized that he wasn’t speaking a language yet, simply regurgitating syllables like any child would. He was a baby, after all. You set out to make it your mission to teach the child languages when Mando was away, and he had begun to identify the meaning of words, even if he couldn’t say them himself. He could identify body parts on himself, you by your name, and Mando by his; well, the name you called him, which you knew wasn’t his real name. Mando had taken you on as a crewmate for the Razor Crest a few months ago now, and you still knew next to nothing about the beskar-clad warrior. He was a forward man, so you assumed he would tell you things when he was ready. That’s about all you knew: he was a man, and he was a Mandalorian. He wanted to tell you everything, especially the fact that he had been enchanted by your intelligence and wit since the first time he met you, stopping on Tatooine for a bounty and encountering you when he asked a fellow villager who the most knowledgeable person around was. The tiny green thing he held was a menace, and you cared for him while the Mandalorian man went and hunted his bounty. The child was hesitant to leave you, getting attached after a quick few days of staying in your hut, and the man had decided you could be valuable. Just before he walked through the door, he turned and offered you a job. You were shy when you accepted, and had nursed a crush the whole time you two had traveled together. You couldn’t believe the situation, just like in those trashy novels you’d read when you were interested in his culture. Now that you lived with him and the tiny green thing, you stayed aboard his ship while he hunted and cared for the kid, cleaned, fixed up the piece of junk, and generally ran the almost-household. It was enjoyable; you liked the man, especially once you came to find his sense of humor similar to your own, and you absolutely adored the child in your care. Your little ragtag crew fell into a rhythm after the first month or so: Mando would leave on a hunt for a few days. While he was gone, you’d play with the baby, feed him and care for him. You washed the blood and dirt from the man’s clothing and the child’s bile from the clothing belonging to you and the baby, taught the child new words, and generally… well, raised him. The baby felt like your child when you two were alone, but when the Mandalorian came home, he was the only thing visible in that child’s round black eyes. It was all about him, sitting in his lap, babbling incoherent words to him, playing with him. Luckily for you, the Mandalorian is on a hunt. You and the child sit in the bed compartment; you lie on the mattress and the child rests in his mesh hammock above the entry. At the last port, you picked up as many books as possible to entertain both you and the child. He loved listening to your voice, and so you happily read aloud to him as you rest together. The Mandalorian should be home tonight, you figured, since he told you that this was a rather easy bounty and that it should take him no more than 3 days. It’s now a couple hours after the third day, but you’re sure it’s fine. The child’s eyes droop closed as you read to him, flawlessly translating the book from the Pak Pak it was written in. The Basic words pour from your mouth, and the little thing gives a gentle yawn before curling up with his favorite blanket and silver ball and passing out. Looking up, you laugh at the sight softly and transition to reading in your head. Not long after the kid falls asleep, you follow. It was unintentional, but reading soothes you, and the perfectly cozy bed that smells like Mando draws you in further and further until sleep washes over your body. You hug one pillow to your chest as you sleep, imagining it was the man’s body you cuddled up against. - Mando is 24 hours late. You’ve been pacing in the ship since you realized it’s officially a day later than he said he’d be back. Dammit, you’re going to find that man. You’re not unaccustomed to violence, having been in scuffles as a child and teen, fighting off Jawas or unsavory men in Tatooine cantinas. You need to track him down and find him. First, you go up to the cockpit and look at the comm watch he gave you. It has a two-way tracking device; one for him to find you, and one for you to find him. Mando has the technology to see where you are built into his vambrace. You, however, have nothing. After searching the cockpit, you find and crack open a tracking fob he used in the past. You open the back of the comm watch, finding the bit with the tracker and wire it to the fob. As you connect two wires, the fob suddenly blinks with light. Laughing at the fact that you made it work, you relax a little. Now you can track the Mandalorian man down. After slipping the fob into a pocket of your pants, you scoot back down the ladder and to the cargo hold’s back wall: Mando’s arsenal. You can do this, you tell yourself, and dare to open Mando’s personal armory built into the wall. You strap a holster to your thigh, adding a vibroblade there. A belt with two guns rests on your hips. An ammo belt drapes across your chest, settling between your breasts and pulling your black tank top tight, the back of the leather sash holding Mando’s backup pulse rifle. You take a look in the mirror of the refresher, and you have to admit that you look badass. Weapons and homemade tracker at the ready, you set out to find him. You leave the baby with a trustworthy woman at the hangar, one who has babysat him before for Mando, then enter the bustling city. - Following the blinking and beeping of the fob, you find your way to the opposite end of the city, to a building located near the outskirts. It’s run down and looks abandoned. It makes perfect sense that someone would hide here. As you approach, the beeping of the fob encourages you; the Mandalorian is definitely here. You disable the sound on the fob and slip it in your pocket, grabbing one of the blasters from your hip. As you approach, the building is silent. The roar of the city is quiet but present, and you slip through an open doorway quietly. You scan the rooms, blaster held in front of you and ready to shoot. You take inventory of the first floor and find nothing. The staircase looks terribly old, and you wince as you take your first step onto it and it makes a noise. Now or never, you tell yourself and quickly run up the steps, knowing the noise can’t be avoided, so you’d better make it quick. You reach the top of the steps, pulling out your other blaster, and find a male Twi’lek standing over a pile of silver and black on the floor. Mando. He’s most definitely unconscious, maybe even- no, he can’t be dead, you can see his slow breathing and the way it makes his body rise and fall. “Fuck,” you say out loud, and the Twi’lek turns towards you. The man is large, much larger than you. He’s overweight and dressed in combat clothes, his face battered and bloody. Your heart sinks as you realize this man is the bounty Mando was going for. You need to start thinking on your feet, and quickly. The man starts to move toward you and you hold out both blasters. “Easy there, nerra,” you tell him in Twi’leki, calling him ‘brother’ to attempt to put him at ease. It doesn’t have the effect that you hoped. “Why are you here?” he asks back, also in Twi’leki, reaching for his weapon. “Don’t draw,” you threaten and inch closer. He was a bail jumper, Mando had informed you before he left, but not for a petty charge; he had escaped in order to avoid several charges of murder. He was a former bounty hunter, who Mando had encountered once. The idea strikes you. “I’m here for him,” you say and nod to the lump of beskar behind the man on the ground. “There’s a bounty on his head. I… heard whoever turns him in gets to keep the beskar too,” you say, raising an eyebrow as you look at him. “You going for him too?” The Twi’lek man shakes his head. “No. He was coming for me. Thought he could beat me.” You seize this opportunity. “From what you look like, I don’t think anyone could. This one is worth a lot of credits. Enough to run away to a pleasure planet… twice over,” you say, inching closer. Mando makes a soft groan and it breaks your heart as he gains consciousness. He must notice you; he starts to moan out words, but you know he can’t speak or he’ll expose you both. “Silence, Mandalorian,” you say again in Basic, words holding acid. “Twice over… let’s bring him in together. Find some wonderful planet to share that bounty on…” you offer, raising an eyebrow and slowly creeping closer to the man. “What’s your name?” You ask. He tells you his and you tell him yours, then give him a seductive smile. The man’s face falls into a smirk. You put both blasters in your belt once more and his posture relaxes fully. “Sounds wonderful to me, beautiful.” “Wow. For a jaded bounty hunter, you’re more foolish than one could ever believe.” Before the man can process your words, you’ve slung the pulse rifle over your shoulder and pull it into position. You shoot a pulse and it finds its target in his chest. He groans in agony and falls backwards, directly on top of Mando. Wincing for the man beneath the hulking Twi’lek, you grab a blaster, shooting the man in each leg. “Mando, hey, it’s me,” you tell him as you roll the behemoth from on top of him. “I’m here,” you murmur. He starts mumbling back, but it’s in Mando’a. That makes sense, you suppose, that he’s reverting in such a moment of crisis. “How hurt are you?” you ask, beginning to speak Mando’a to him in hopes he’ll understand you better. Mando’s brain works through the fog, hearing your words and recognizing that it’s you. “Real bad,” he groans out, speaking his native tongue. You touch his elbow, unprotected by beskar, and he whines. “No, no,” he whimpers, sounding almost like a child. You sigh. This was going to be harder than you expected. “Fuck, how am I going to get you out of here?” The brain function that the Mandalorian has left is your saving grace. “Speeder bike. Hidden down there. We can get on.” “Yes, but how are we going to get you downstairs?” He doesn’t respond, simply groans in pain. If this was going to work without immense pain on his part, some kind of miracle was going to need to happen. “I’m going to drag you down the stairs as carefully as I can, okay? We’ll let gravity do the work. Do you have a good arm?” “The left one… so clever, so smart, pretty girl,” he breathes out, words rasping. You blush at the words but chuckle. He’s in so much pain there’s no way he can think straight now. “I’ll go get the bike, then we’ll get you down there.” This is the hard part, you think to yourself. First, you run down the steps and search for the speeder bike Mando mentioned. You find it and sigh in relief. It’s a piece of junk, but it should do. You position it at the bottom of the stairs and then run up them again. “Okay, this is going to hurt. Can you roll yourself?” “No, shoulder’s all fucked up,” he mumbles and you groan. “Well, I’ll have to drag you on the good one. Get ready.” Taking his good arm, you begin dragging him towards the steps. He groans and you wince. “I’m so sorry, you’re doing so well,” you tell him as you move him. “Here we go.” Once he’s at the top of the steps, you hold him under his armpits, blushing at how close you are. He’s so strong, even injured, and you smile softly to yourself. You lower the two of you down the stairs with careful movements and manage to hold him long enough to get him seated on the speeder bike. He leans forward onto the handles. “One moment,” you tell him. Running up the stairs once more, you shoot another pulse into the bounty. He gives a dazed nod, clearly not understanding anything through the pain he’s in. You can’t let Mando leave this man behind. You’re sure he’s unconscious, so you repeat the same movements as before but with next to no gentleness. You toss him on the back of the speeder bike, where the gunner would sit, and tie him down with ropes before covering him with a blanket. “Alright, back to the ship as quick as we possibly can,” you inform Mando and get the speeder to a door wide enough to fit it through. Once it works, you hop on between Mando and the handlebar and start it up, moving as quickly as you possibly can. Soon enough, you’re back at the hangar that holds the Razor Crest. You enter the back way, using the speeder bike entrance. You hop off quickly and park it by the Crest. “Stay right there, I’m going to get this asshole into the carbonite,” you tell Mando. His consciousness hasn’t been clear for at least a day. He didn’t even process the fact that you had grabbed the bounty. “What? You got him?” “One of us had to,” you tease, enjoying the fact that the two of you are finally conversing in his native tongue. You’ve always loved Mando’a, the way the words sound rolling off your tongue. You untie the man, still unconscious, and haul him up the ramp of the Crest. You’ve seen Mando work the carbonite freezer once or twice, and you hope you press the right buttons as you force the man onto the slab. “Come on, baby,” you murmur to the machine, hoping it’ll work. With one final button, there’s a hiss and cold air blows from it, freezing him. You sigh in relief. You return to the main hold and pop out a cot for him to lie on. Running back down the ramp, you find the dazed Mandalorian in the exact spot you left him in. “I’m going to carry you into the ship,” you tell him, grunting with effort as you lift his practically deadweight body off of the side and into a standing position. You drag him up and immediately shove him onto the cot. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” you cringe as he moans in pain at the contact with the cot. “One more thing and we’ll get some bacta in you.” The owner of the hangar is waiting for you outside the ship, holding the kid, both confused by the commotion. You very quickly and hurriedly explain to her that everything is fine now, thank her and pay her a generous amount of credits, and rush back onto the ship with the baby. “Keep the speeder!” You shout behind you as you close the ramp. - A full day and a half later, the Mandalorian awakens from a deep slumber with a pounding headache. He sits with a jolt, which only makes the headache worse. He looks around to find that he’s in the Razor Crest, the familiar hum indicating that he’s in hyperspace. The events of the past few days begin to manifest in his memory and he groans, lying back down on the cot. You climb down from the cockpit as you hear him stirring and find him on his side. “Good morning,” you say softly as you sit on the edge of his cot, the kid in your arm. You set the child down and he toddles off elsewhere. “You were out for a good day and a half,” you tell him and stroke his side softly. “How do you feel?” “Like shit,” he groans, rolling to his back again. He’s hyper aware of your touch, the way your fingers drag down his- oh shit, he’s shirtless, armorless- skin, avoiding the bruises. “You… thank you,” he says, gravelly voice soft. It sinks in that he’s wearing just a pair of shorts and his helmet. You must’ve undressed him, cleaned and bandaged his wounds. His breath catches in his throat. You nod and stroke his good arm. “Of course. That’s why you brought me on, isn’t it?” you tease. He chuckles, but it’s clear that takes effort. “Really, thank you. And you got the bounty too! Shit, mesh’la, I-” he says as he starts to sit, but you push him back down with a hand to his chest, caressing the side of his beskar helmet. “Nayc, stay down,” you tell him, chuckling softly. “Rest. I’ll bring you some water and go back up to the cockpit so you can take off the helmet,” you say with a soft smile, standing and going to where you keep the food and water bottles. As you move, he mulls over the events that led him here. He got knocked down and beat by the man that was supposed to be his bounty. That never happened. You came to rescue him and- wait. You just told him no, nayc, in Mando’a. In fact, you were speaking Mando’a to him the whole time you rescued him, reassuring him and directing him in his native tongue, which he had no idea you spoke until just now. You return with a nutrient bar and water bottle, setting them next to his side on the cot. “I’ll head back up-” you start to say, but he stops you by grabbing his wrist. “You speak Mando’a,” he says simply, looking up at you with wonder behind his mask. “Yeah,” you chuckle and admit, face flushing with warmth. His is equally heating beneath the beskar. He sits up slightly but instead you come to his level, sitting on the edge of the cot and pushing him down with a firm palm to his chest. He chuckles softly. “So you’ve understood me every time I’ve called you beautiful,” he says, a tinge of shyness in his modulated voice. Nodding, you tuck a stray hair back from your face. “I… yes, I have,” you nod, giving him an awkward smile. “I hear you talk in Mando'a in your sleep too, sometimes.” Even his chest is flushing with warmth now. You look away, at a corner of the ship “You talk about your life. People from your past.” The silence hangs between the two of you, your hand still resting in the center of his chest. You slowly drag it to his good shoulder, and down his arm. He clasps your hand in his when it reaches his fingertips. “Have you heard the name Din?” He asks in his native tongue, and you shake your head softly, truthfully. It never came out. “That’s… my name. Din, Din Djarin,” he admits to you, hand squeezing yours softly. You gasp softly, not expecting that information from him. A smile settles on your face after a moment. “Well then. Hello, Din.” You lean down and press your forehead to where his lies beneath the metal. A keldabe kiss, you know, the most intimate gesture a Mandalorian can do. It truly melts his heart, the organ pumping frantically in his chest. “Hello to you too, gorgeous. Wait,” he stops and pushes your face from his, gently. He returns to speaking Basic with a chuckle. “How many languages do you speak?” You look upwards, mentally counting. “Uh. 8 and a half. I’m still not finished with Ubese,” you say and turn back to face him, a shy smile gracing your face. “Wow. You’re a mirdal’ika,” he tells you, the smile evident in his voice even though you can’t see it through the mask. Separately, the syllables make sense. You understand the direct translation, but it’s odd, and you cock your head to the side as you look down at the Mandalorian- no, Din. “Little clever one?” You ask, unsure if you heard him correctly. “Yes, well, that’s the direct translation. It’s really more of a slang term.” “For?” “In Basic… I believe the equivalent would be… nerd.” “Din!” You squeal and laugh, smacking his good shoulder lightly with a backhand. “Excuse me, that’s rude,” you chuckle, the smile growing even wider on your face as you look down at him. He doesn’t respond for a moment and you give a soft sigh. “Well, you need to drink that water. I’ll head back up to the cockpit,” you tell him, really meaning to leave this time, the smile falling. Once again, as you stand and try to move, he grabs your arm. “I… I think I’m going to need help with that,” he admits, almost ashamed. “Please. Stay.” You nod, but then realize what it implicates. “No, Din,” you sigh, shaking your head. “I can’t do that to you, you and that helmet, it’s… it’s your everything, I couldn’t possibly-” “Please, cyare,” he asks in his native tongue again, and your heart melts. “I want you to see me. I need you to see me.” Heart pounding, you take a beat before you respond with a nod. You sit down once more, hands slowly tracing up his sides, then his chest and up to the base of his helmet. “You’re sure. Positive,” you ask. “Of course I am.” With a nod, you allow him to bring his hand to the side to unlatch the lock. Once it releases, he lifts his head just above the pillow and you slide off his helmet, catching the back of his head with one hand and easing it back down to the pillow. You make sure the helmet rests on the floor before you finally look at him. He’s gorgeous, truly. His tanned skin, which you saw when cleaning his wounds, is covered with dark stubble and a mustache on the lower half of his face, broken by two plush lips. Your fingertips trace his jawline as you take in his softly hooked nose, his dark eyebrows, his dark and messy hair, but most importantly, his eyes. His eyes are a beautiful chocolate brown, set gently into his face and looking at you like you’re a shimmering supernova, no, something even more beautiful. For a moment, you get caught up staring at him. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Din,” you mumble in Mando’a. He just gives a soft smile and murmurs his thanks. After you finish staring, you shake your head quickly. “Sorry, the water,” you chuckle nervously, turning to grab it from your other side. Din’s hand catches the side of your face. “The water is a secondary need,” he says softly in Mando’a, turning your face back to his. “I took this off for something else.” His eyes hold a question as he looks up at you. You bite your lip for a moment before breaking into a smile and nodding. The Mandalorian pulls your face down to his, and, ever so gently, your lips finally meet, real and warm and absolutely delicious. You sigh softly, putting a hand on the side of his face too. His lips are softer than you’d expected, while yours are just as beautiful as he dreamed about at night. You both continue for a moment, his hand drifting to your neck, completely lost in each other. A moment later, you pull back and giggle. “I have to admit something, Din,” you tell him and lovingly stroke the side of his face. “It better not be that you’re secretly engaged,” he asks teasingly, a soft smile on his face and raising an eyebrow at you. “No,” you laugh and run your hand through his curls, carding your fingers between the surprisingly soft locks. “That…” you gulp and look away before looking back at him. “Was my first kiss,” you admit and bite down on your bottom lip. He laughs softly but there’s love in his eyes. “A girl as beautiful as you never dated when you were younger? Never went out and flirted with her classmates?” You shake your head. “I was generally too busy at home, reading or teaching myself the language of the man who’d eventually be my first kiss.” You both laugh at that and you grin. His hand rests on the side of your face, gently sweeping his thumb across the skin beneath his fingers. “Of course you were. My little mirdal’ika,” he laughs, bringing your face to his to kiss you once more.

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gb-patch · 4 years ago

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Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through?

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!!

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available?

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove?

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter)

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game!

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you?

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you!

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something?

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2?

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates?

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird?

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot!

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^!

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets?

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update? I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive.

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3?

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something.

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants?

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations?

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted?

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia.

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all?

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w;

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips?

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!!

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever #xoxo droplets #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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previousloversandmuses · 3 years ago

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Slow Burn - Prologue

Part I | masterlist

A/N: This is a “must read” precursor to the whole series. Please read it to know what the origin story is.

Pairing: Y/N x Obi Wan Kenobi

Words: 2048

Warnings: None. Brief mentions of violence. Low self esteem.

I am always one to experience emotions at a heightened frequency. Dangerous for a Jedi in training I know, but the council never took it as a sign of caution, just a minor set back. Happiness is bright, and beaming, even painful. My cheeks hurt for days after, smile lines sculpting my skin too early in life. Anger is powerful, my skin becoming vicious, and hot. Ripping through me like a silver bullet, and tearing my already unrelenting gut apart. I am loud, I am violent, and most of all, passionate. I would later become grateful of this curse, turning it into a blessing. Sadness is so deep. Tears crash like an ocean, and my heart would ache in my chest. The physical symptoms of my despair become overwhelming, and make me sick.

A fresh eighteen myself, my graduation is only a year or so away. Compared to other padawans, ones that don’t deal with the same struggles as myself, have already been graced with knighthood. They make their masters proud, and have already completed more missions at sixteen than I think I ever will in my entire career.

I had the choice to become independent, to take my morals by the throat, and shove them deep down inside me, never to be seen again- but it really just isn’t that easy. See, I’m taking this time for meditation, or even a “behavioral therapy” of sorts. I have meetings with other council members, more powerful, and more prominent than my own master, who is often off tending to matters elsewhere. A mighty general he is, but they see me as someone who would cause more of a distraction, so I stay here at the temple left to my own devices. Sometimes I think it may be because I’m a woman, and other times I just take a good look in the mirror and recall the outburst that has stained my face only minutes before.

Today was like any other; wake up, meditate, exercise, study, combat training, study, try and find time to eat something, and study. I walked down the main hallway with Master Yoda. He spoke to me about how he once struggled with his emotions as well, but with enough meditation, learned how to keep them at bay. Looking down at him and his vacant expression, I was surprised he had ever even felt an emotion a day in his life. That was until seconds later…

Stopping in my tracks, my hand flew over my heart. I recalled feeling out of breath, like my heart had physically stopped beating in my chest, or at least was trying to catch up with the rest of my body. I was shaky, yet somehow managed to take a knee. Something was off, that feeling in my chest grew and grew until I was faced with the blackest black I had ever felt. The darkest emotion to ever run through my body, as cold as ice, and heart stopping. It was deep, I felt it within the darkest abyss in my soul. It wrapped around my insides and nestled itself a home deep within the most shielded corners of my subconscious. That’s when Master Yoda felt it too. His hand flying over his heart, and steadying himself on my own shoulder. His face morphed into a snarl, gasping at the sudden pain that now infected his unwavering calm aura.

...

After a painstakingly slow recovery, I sat on the edge of my bed. My quarters were neat and tidy. My bed, usually made up in the morning, because I have always been one for a routine. My walls weren’t bare, in fact they were almost completely covered in photographs I have taken from my travels as a Padawan. I'd go to the library, and butcher borrowed books, clipping photos of different words, and alien fauna. But today, those bright colors capable of producing fantasies for hours and hours, seemed black and white.

I had been staring at the floor for sometime, desperate in trying to heal the ache in my chest. It felt as if I had a cold, like the burn after a deep cough. I felt so tight, so tense, an actual living embodiment of rigor mortis. Yet, at the same time, I hardly felt all there. It was as if my existence was floating all around me, and my shell was sitting vacant on an uncomfortable mattress. The knock on my door was enough for me to engulf myself again.

“Y/N, are you decent?” The voice asks.

“Yes,” I reply, rolling my shoulders back.

“The council has requested an audience. Please report downstairs within the next few minutes.”

I nod my head, as if whoever was behind the door could see me.

“An audience,�� I think. “Let’s add another year to that training plan, shall we?”

...

Walking downstairs to the council room, I can’t help but feel that all eyes are on me. They cut through me like a hot knife, slicing me thin. I feel so vulnerable. Like everyone around me can feel what I feel, and if I’m being honest, they probably do. A good Jedi who is in tune with the force, and especially in tune with others, can sense an intense emotion from a mile away. I’m sure at this moment I pretty much equate to an open book. No reason to try and hide it, force knows I struggle with concealing even an inkling of agitation.

Seeing the council room in sight, I take a deep breath. This is it. I’m done for. This reaction was way too over the top. I’ve scared people, I’ve scared Master Yoda. Might as well just turn in my saber now and call it a day.

I walk into the door. Only a few masters sit scattered around. Master Yoda of course perched dead center, Master Windu waiting patiently to his right. But my master was nowhere in sight. You’d think if they were going to terminate me, that maybe my own mentor would be among them? Shaking his head, sending me glares that one could only compare to fucking daggers. He was tough on me for sure, maybe he was too ashamed of what I’d done to even bear to see me in this moment.

“Coming here so quickly you did,” Starts Master Yoda. “Grateful we all are.”

I smile and bow my head.

“Y/N,” Master Windu starts. “We’re here to discuss the events that happened earlier.”

Oh god here it comes. This is it. I’m totally done for. I can’t even keep myself calm now. My face, getting hotter and more red by the second, is going to be the biggest tell. At least let me go out with some dignity.

“Your reaction, what you felt at least, was not just brought on out of the blue. Master Yoda had the same experience, as did all of us on the council, and most Jedi and padawans in the temple.”

“I don’t understand.” I say.

“At around 1 Coruscant time, an enemy bomb was detonated on Nal Hutta.”

Then it hit me. My heart sinking, I began to shake my head.

“Unfortunately, Unit 505, and Master Cato were all killed on impact.”

My ears ring. Slowly, I move over to a chair, bracing myself.

“That’s,” I start, trying to find the words to say. “He would’ve felt it, all of them would, I don’t understand.”

“We have a feeling it was planted by a Sith. That’s the only way it would’ve clouded any judgement.”

I slump into it, my vision going black, my head spinning.

Master Cato has been with me since I was a very little girl. Although rough, tough, and brutally honest, he has done nothing but be a father to me time and time again. Everything I do is a reflection of him. He had been so busy at war, fighting day in and day out, I caught myself missing the commands, and demands I once so passionately despised. I took our whole relationship for granted, and now, is this the price I have to pay? The last time we spoke he told me how disappointed he was in my outburst in my Alien Fauna lab. I was being stubborn, I was bratty, and rolled my eyes. We had argued that entire call. He didn’t even attempt to say goodbye. Now, for an eternity, I will have to face the catastrophic guilt of my actions. Live with the fact that I never, ever told him how much I appreciated him. And even, how much I loved him so. The closest thing to family in my life, gone, in the snap of a finger.

Both Master Yoda and Master Windu continued to talk but it all felt like empty words. I couldn’t hear them anyway.

“Although this situation isn't ideal, we and the rest of the council applaud you for being able to feel something most of us haven’t been able to experience yet.” Claimed Master Windu.

I don’t listen. I stand up again.

“What am I going to do? I don’t feel comfortable with being knighted yet. I had- we were working on so many things I-,” I stumbled on my words.

“You’ll get placed with a new master.”

“There are no new masters. And even if I had been trained a certain way, I don’t know how to learn otherwise.”

There is silence.

“The force works in mysterious ways. Meant to happen, I feel.”

I scoff. “Meant to happen,” what an evil thing to say.

I begin to walk off, stopping of course, only to get in the last word.

“Not only have you told me that my master has been killed, but you lack any empathy. There is no emotion in your eyes. Nothing.”

“We mourn your master y/n, just as much as you do. You know what we stand for. You know our view on attachments.”

“He's like-,” I choke. “He was like my father.”

I can’t even begin to explain the pain I feel. Disgust in myself, I should’ve been better. I could’ve been better. The last few years of our relationship I’ve just been behaving poorly and rebelling, and then getting angry at him when he made me face the consequences. Like I wasn’t aware of the job I was made to do. I should’ve been nicer, I could’ve been nicer. It’s all going in a circle, all the things I should’ve done just morphed into things I couldn’t do. Maybe I was too emotional. Maybe my tears that fell leading up to this moment was all part of the plan, the final kicker to show that I wasn’t apathetic enough for this job. My empathy, my burning passion will always be my biggest flaw. This hole that gapes inside of me will never be filled, and now it grows bigger. It’s like a disease. Am I enough? Will I ever be enough?

“Put you with Master Kenobi, we will.” States Master Yoda.

Master Windu is quick in turning his head. He glares at him.

“Master Yoda, General Kenobi has just finished his training with Anakin. It is far too early to give him a new Padawan, if at all.”

Yoda nods, almost giggling.

“Yet so freshly knighted, a Padawan Anakin already has. Obi Wan will have no problem with taking on a student. Graduates soon, she will.”

“But General Kenobi and I have two completely different methods of combat, let alone ideals.” I scoff.

“All Jedi have the same ideals.” Adds Windu.

“He is a Jedi guardian, I am a Jedi sentinel-“

“Train with General Kenobi you will. Not long ago he also lost his master too soon.”

Master Yoda nods to me. He stands up and walks over to the large windows behind him. Looking out over Coruscant, he takes a deep sigh of relief.

“Master Windu,” says Yoda. “Get in contact with the 212th battalion.”

I watch on as my fate now rests in a stranger's hands.

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi smut #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan fic #anakin skywalker #anakin x obi wan #ahsoka tano #star wars #star wars smut

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haos-the-tea · 4 years ago

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Title: Better Than You Pairing: Mingyu x Fem!Reader x Wonwoo Rating: 18+ Warnings: Language, angst, low self image, sub boy, oral (male and female receiving), Face riding, Sexual praise, Degradation, Choking (male receiving), Over stimulation (male receiving), Voyeurism, Pegging, Edging, Light bondage. WC: 9.3K+

A/N: so this started out as just a means to write hate smut for Mingyu and then evolved into this. IDK how that happened. I also didn’t bother to edit this, so enjoy this first draft nonsense lol.

You didn’t hate your job. You really didn’t. Or, at least that was what you kept telling yourself so that you could get through this hell of a shift. Saturdays were always the absolute worst, the restaurant was crowded and it was always so loud, and orders came out almost as soon as you picked up the previous ones. It was hectic, but it was even worse when you were understaffed.

“Thank you so much, that order will be out in just a few minutes.” You said, fake smile plastered onto your face as you bid farewell to a table that wasn’t a part of your section. Stalking through the restaurant your smile dropping as you did so, you found the cause of your troubles standing in the kitchen, chatting it up with one of the chefs while the chef worked.

“Kim Mingyu!” You exclaimed, using the noise of the kitchen to cover your shout. He turned to face you and you could see his eyes rolling when he realized just who was calling him.

It was an unspoken fact that you and Mingyu...did not get along. You boss generally made sure to try and schedule the two of you on different days, but that was getting harder and harder

when people kept asking for days off. Which is...fine, you just really hate working with Mingyu. Judging by the look on his face, the feeling was mutual.

“Dude, I just had to take A5’s order because they’d been in your section for twenty minutes and all you’d done was get them drinks! What the hell, man!” You complained, glaring up at the abnormally tall server. He simply rolled his eyes, glancing back over at the chef and bidding him farewell before brushing past you and making sure that he bumped your shoulder as he did.

“Lay off it, you’re not even a manager yet you’re so high strung. Just chill out, it’s not like they’re going to die if I don’t get them soon.” His response was typical, and honestly you were starting to wonder how he still had a job with how much he slacked off.

Turning on your heel you followed him as he made his way into the empty breakroom in an attempt to get away from your lecture.

“I’d be ‘chill’ if I didn’t always have to cover both my section and your section when we worked together. Why can’t you just do your fucking job?” You complained, eyes boring holes into the back of his head as he pulled his phone out of his locker. Mindlessly scrolling it for a moment, before he turned to look back at you with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Order up!” Could be heard in the distance, over the sound of your pounding heart.

“Well, I guess you better go grab that if you’re working both of our jobs.” Before turning back to his phone and laughing at something on the handheld device.

God you hope that you could keep from throttling the man, because you knew for a fact that you didn’t have bail money.

The night continued with Mingyu doing a minimal amount of his tasks, the only thing you were grateful for was that he at least wrapped his own silverware. You probably would have stabbed him with one of the unwrapped forks if he hadn’t. With a farewell to the rest of the staff and a harsh glare sent in Mingyu’s direction, you were finally able to leave around 12am.

During the drive home, all of the adrenaline from the shift seemed to fade away and leave you as an exhausted husk of a person. Your eyes threatened to drift shut even as you drove, forcing you to roll down your windows to scream sing out whatever song was playing from your phone in an attempt to keep awake. You just wanted this day to be over so you could enjoy your day off tomorrow and catch up on your school work, and so you didn’t have to see Kim Mingyu’s infuriating face.

He probably got away with so much shit just because he was tall and handsome, beautiful features seemed to get so many doors opened for people. Meanwhile, average people like yourself seemed to be overlooked and ignored, having to work twice as hard for something handed to those types of people on silver platters. It was probably the only reason Mingyu still had a job, considering your boss fancied him. It was pathetic how much she fawned over him, and he seemed to just soak up all the praise and attention. Your grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles going white as you thought about the situation.

The tension sat with you until you unlocked the door to your apartment and smelt the wonderful aroma that told you that your roommate had waited up for you. Slipping your shoes off and placing your keys on their hanger, you made your way into the small kitchen.

“Nunu!” You exclaimed as your eyes landed on the male. His thick brown hair was sticking up in all different directions, which told you he had gotten a good nap in before you came home but that he had woken up to make dinner. He pushed up his thick rimmed glasses as he glanced over at you, a small tired smile on his face.

“Welcome home.” he muttered before returning his gaze back to the food he had just plated, picking them up and dropping them off at the table before looking back over at you. “Go change and come eat.”

You gave him a mock salute before doing as instructed. Swapping your work pants and polo shirt for some sleep shorts and a tank top, it had a tendency to get rather hot in your apartment at night even if you had the AC on. When you returned to the kitchen, Wonwoo seemed a bit more awake than before and was scrolling through some website on his phone as he ate. You quickly joined, scarfing down your food.

“How was work?”

With that single question, your expression dropped mid bite. All the irritation flooding back into your system causing you to aggressively stab the next bit of food that you were wanting to eat before beginning your rant.

“So you know that dick bag at work?”

“The really tall hot one?”

“Yeah, that jackass.” You went into extreme detail about the night, fury filling your voice as you spoke.

“Can you believe him!?” You exclaimed, shoveling the last bit off your dinner into your mouth as you heard Wonwoo sigh. He always told you that you needed to quit if this guy was as bad as you said he was and none of the higher ups would do anything about it.

“Sorry Nunu, Didn’t mean to yell...Fuck, how was your day dude?” You stood, taking your plate over to the sink and setting it down. You’d get to those tomorrow, you were too tired to do them tonight.

“Eh, not much different than normal.” He muttered, joining you at the sink. There was a brief pause before he turned to you. “My...my boyfriend is going to come visit tomorrow. He said he wants to meet you, and I mean you’re my best friend so…”

“Oh! Really? Ah, I’ll make dinner tomorrow night then so that you guys can hang out beforehand!” Wonwoo seemed to be appreciative of it as he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you into a tight hug. The affection caused your heart to soar, wrapping your arms around his neck as he rested his head on your shoulder “I’ll even clean up around the apartment while you’re at work.”

You felt your breath hitch in your throat as his hands lowered to firmly grip your ass. So that was how tonight was going to be. You knew that he had told his (currently unnamed) boyfriend about your little...sexcapades, and apparently the guy didn’t mind. It wasn’t like you and Wonwoo had legit feelings for each other...or at least, Wonwoo didn’t have feelings for you. Your feelings were still up in the air, but you would never tell him that.

“You sure your man is still okay with us doing...this?” You questioned, one hand slipped into his soft brown tresses as you whispered into his ear. Gently nibbling on the lobe of his ear. His response was simply to hike one of your legs up around his waist, bucking his hips forward into your heat. The action caused a soft moan to slip out of your lips, after the stress of today you wouldn’t mind having a round of fun. But Wonwoo seemed to need a reminder of the rules.

“Nunu, baby. I need you to use your words.” You instructed, gently stroking his hair as he gave your thigh a firm squeeze. When the two of you first hooked up like this, you would have never expected any kind of submissive side to him and yet looks could be deceiving. He let out a soft groan at the pet name before listening to your instructions.

“He...he thinks it’s fine.” He muttered into the shell of your neck, nipping lightly as he spoke. “It’s why he wants to meet you.” If you were being honest, you were a little more than surprised at that. You figured that your roommates boyfriend would be less than excited to meet someone who has been fucking their significat other with no strings attached for...multiple years.

“Oh he does? Is he just as dirty as you?” As you spoke, your free hand slid down to his pants to the prominent bulge that was hidden underneath the thin grey sweatpants. You would probably never get over just how large Wonwoo was, it was almost ridiculous. “Does he like that you get fucked by me? Or do you tell him that you’re in charge?”

Your grip had Wonwoo groaning before biting into the flesh of your neck, causing you to let out a loud moan at the sensation. As he let go, you pulled yourself away letting both of your feet return to the floor before turning the tables. You pushed Wonwoo back against the counter top, cornering him. One of your legs rested between his own, and you lifted that leg to press against the growing problem in his pants.

“Answer me Wonwoo.”

“No, he knows you’re in charge.” He told, squirming to try and get a bit more friction to his aching cock. You always liked making him needy, it was such a stark contrast to his normal day to day attitude. So seeing him like this was intoxicating for you.

Since he answered you so honestly, you decided to give him a bit more. Slowly, you pushed his sweatpants down his legs, your fingers gently clawing at the skin of his thighs as you did so. Once those were out of the way, you were pleasantly surprised to find that he had decided to forgo his usual boxers this evening. Leaving his thick cock on display for you.

“Oh, Nunu were you planning this?” You knelt down on the kitchen floor, leaning forward to give a small teasing kiss to the tip of his massive dick. “Did you make dinner for me, just so I’d fuck you against the countertops, while we talk about your boyfriend?”

You couldn’t stop yourself from taking the tip in your mouth, gently sucking on the tender skin as your tongue lapped up the drips of pre-cum from him. Your eyes never leaving his face as you worked, watching as he threw his head back and groaned. His hands gripped the counter’s edge so harshly his knuckles seemed to be turning white.

“Y-yeah,” he breathed out, the sound of it all so sickeningly seductive. “I did. I wanted...fuck I wanted it so bad.” he groaned out, bucking his hips up in an attempt to get you to take more of him. You gripped his hip firmly, pushing them back against the counter and successfully thwarting his attempts. The confession had you clenching around nothing as you pulled away from his dick with a loud pop.

“Oh Nunu, baby Nunu. You know all you have to do is ask. I’m always willing to make time for my good little boy.” Only he wasn’t yours, he had a boyfriend. You were just someone he got fucked by on the side, or well...who fucked him on the side. Despite the melancholy that thought brought to you, you kept up your role and gave a teasing lick to his length. “Does he ever take control, or is my poor little Nunu always domming when he just wants to be dicked down?”

The question along with the actions from your tongue had the male letting out small whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut as you took him into your mouth once more. Once again his hips thrashed forward, only being stopped by your hands as you grip him tightly.

You had been told previously all about Wonwoo’s sexual relations with his boyfriend, another thing that this mysterious man seemed to have no issue with. Once Wonwoo even confessed this boyfriend of his found it ‘hot’ that Wonwoo would tell you, which made you question just who your best friend was dating and how open this relationship would continue being.

“He doesn’t. Fuck fuck, i want it. Just like yo-you...just like you give it to me.” One thing you loved about Wonwoo was that his moans were never loud, but beathy and that was an entirely different type of sexy. As a reward for his honesty you continued your mistrations on his firm length, taking him further into your mouth and pumping what couldn’t fit with your hand.

“No, no fuck. I’ll..cum, I want inside.” His words slurred together and barely made sense as he spoke but you knew exactly what he wanted. So you pulled yourself off of his delicious dick, and despite that being what he asked for he still let out a soft yet insanely deep whine. Missing the contact despite knowing exactly what he wanted.

You quickly slipped your sleep shorts from your frame, letting them drop to the floor. Wonwoo’s eyes watched you hungrily, waiting for you to follow through with his request only for you to flash a devilish grin at him.

“Catch.” Was all the warning he got, but the two of you had played this game before and he knew exactly what to do. Your feet were soon off the ground and wrapped around his waist, the tip of his cock prodding your entrance as he held you up. With practiced ease he turned and let your ass rest on the cold clean countertops, causing your frame to shiver at the temperature difference.

You trust your hips forward, rubbing his length against your folds and letting out a groan as you did so. He curled into you, waiting for permission. Soft pleading words slipped from his lips as he begged to be let in. Being just as needy, you decided to give in.

“Nunu, I want you to fuck me good okay?” Your voice was light and playful as your nails sunk into the skin of his back, prompting another low breathy groan from the male. “I want your boyfriend to be able to tell how good you fucke me, can you do that for me, baby boy?” He nodded against your shoulder as you gave him the final go ahead.

It was almost painful how slowly he entered you, filling you up completely while taking the most grueling pace ever. You knew what this was, his own little way of teasing you back. Sure Wonwoo enjoyed subbing and he was a very obedient sub but he was still a switch and things like this were how he made sure you knew that despite the position he took in your ‘relationship’.

“Fuck shit.” You groaned, throwing your head back and clenching around him as he bottomed out inside you. Despite how many time the two of you had sex, it always felt like the first time. You always felt impossibly full, and add him moaning in your ear into the mix and you swore you could come undone just from that. He started at an agonizingly slow pace, making sure to pull himself almost completely out of your before slamming back in. The feeling rocking you to your very core, gripping his shoulders tightly.

“God Nunu, you feel so fucking good.” You moaned out, “You fill me up so well baby, it’s like your dick was made for me.” Hearing your words seemed to spur him into a faster pace. His hands gripping your hips tightly as he slammed into you, there would surely be bruises there come tomorrow. You were once again finding another reason to be grateful that you were off work tomorrow.

“Fuck, your so tight.” He groaned, the husky low tones doing wonders to you. “Won’t last.” Was all he could bring out as his thrust grew more messy, less coordinated as he struggled to reach his high. One of his hands left your hips and found its way to your clit, gently massaging the small bundle of nerves as he continued his deep thrusts. It seemed like that was all you needed to be thrown off the edge

“Ah, fuck fuck, cum for me Wonwoo.”

And cum he did. You felt so full with just him, not bothering to worry about any kind of protection since you were on the pill. Your heart pounding a mile a minute as you leaned forward, resting your head on his shoulders. Three little words lingers on your lips, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say them. They weren’t your words to say...he wasn’t yours and he never would be.

***

Needless to say you were walking with a small limp the next day as you cleaned up around the house. Making sure to sanitize the kitchen countertops after your little...encounter there last night. Loud music blared through the apartment, you singing loudly along to the shitty songs about unrequited love. It was pathetic but at least it was a way to get the emotions out.

You had a few more hours before Wonwoo would be off work, and he boyfriend probably wouldn’t come over until after that so you weren’t all too concerned with your appearance at the moment, you’d probably wear something presentable and chit chat with the two for a bit before escaping to Joshua’s house. He knew about your stupid feelings and was willing to let you make an escape whenever you needed, he was a damn good friend.

To your surprise, a knock sounded through the apartment causing you to jump in shock. Grabbing your phone, you paused your music before returning the item to the kitchen table where it had been sitting. Grabbing the metal bat from beside the door, the two of you kept it there just in case of an intruder) you gripped the handle of the item before slowly pulling the door open. The sight that greeted you caused a rage to pool inside of your gut.

“Kim Mingyu, what the fuck are you doing at my apartment?” You seethed, glaring up at the male. A part of you was debating on just slamming the door back into his face, that would be pretty damn satisfying. Despite your irritation, he looked just as surprised as you felt.

“I’m here to visit my boyfriend and his roommate. But if you’re here, I must have the wrong place.” His words seemed to push everything into place and you were going to be sick. With how much Wonwoo had spoken about his boyfriend, he never mentioned the guy’s name...and the same went for you, you complained about your coworker on an almost daily basis but never mentioned that it was Kim Mingyu.

“Wonwoo? You’re here to see Wonwoo?” The words left your lips shakily, and you felt a rock sink into your gut. You prayed to whatever God was listening that he would deny it, say some other name, that he literally did get the wrong address and Wonwoo’s boyfriend wasn’t going to be your arch nemesis.

He nodded, he fucking nodded and it felt like everything was crashing around you. Not only was Kim Mingyu a hassle at work, but now you were finding out that he was dating the guy you were in love with. It was all too much.

“Well, you’re early. He doesn’t get off work until 6.” You muttered, opening the door to let him in despite the urge to leave him stranded outside until Wonwoo got home. You heard the door shut behind you, but couldn’t bring yourself to look back at him. Thinking about all the things Wonwoo had told you about the mysterious boyfriend, it was too much. Mingyu knew far too much about you now. Fuck now you would have to quit, there is no way he would keep that information secret now that he knew it was you fucking his boyfriend.

“Oh, I know. He said his roommate was going to make dinner, so I wanted to come over to help.” You flashed him a disgruntled look as he explained his reasoning for coming over so early. A sharp comment on the tip of your tongue as he slipped his shoes off and entered your abode as if it were his own. “Though, if I had known you were his roommate I probably would have stayed home.”

There it was, that smug smirk that you wanted to punch off of his face. A fire grew in your stomach and you stormed into the kitchen, determined to start and finish dinner as soon as possible. You weren’t going to stay here tonight, hoping Joshua wouldn’t mind you coming over earlier than expected.

“Well, lucky for you. I don’t need help, so you can just stand around and do nothing. You’re already pretty good at that.” Hearing the sound of his footsteps behind as you entered the kitchen, the small chuckle coming after it. Almost like he was mocking you, like he knew about your hidden feelings for Wonwoo, like he knew this was possibly the worst outcome for your evening. At this point, you just wanted to know why he seemed to enjoy pushing your buttons.

You swung open the door to the fridge and bent down to begin pulling out the items you would need to start the meal. You could feel his eyes on you as you traveling around the kitchen, pulling out bowls and spices, and it was infuriating.

“You know, you’re pretty hot when you’re angry,” His words caused you to practically choke on your own breath. “I wonder if that’s what gets Wonwoo off when you two fuck.” It was almost like he punched you in the gut. Of course, you knew that he knew but you definitely weren’t expecting him to just outright bring it up. Though you should have expected something as blunt as that from Kim Fucking Mingyu.

You placed the box of salt on the counter before turning to glare at Mingyu once more, only to find him almost directly behind you...much closer than he had been. Your mind flashed back to the night before, where you fucked Wonwoo in this very room, and now you were standing here talking to his boyfriend. You took a deep breath, swallowing your hesitation before continuing with your thought.

“Look, Wonwoo said you were cool with it. If it’s a problem then it stops, simple as that. I may hate your fucking guts but I’m not gonna keep fucking your boyfriend better than you do without your okay.”

That was...definitely the wrong thing to say but your anger got the better of you, your jealousy. It was a monster that was now fueling the previous wrath you had felt for the male. Before you could think about anything else to say, you felt yourself being forced back against the counter with his hands laying flat on either side of you, caging you in as he stared down with a dark look in his eye.

“See, I don’t think you do. I think you’re just a cocky, high strung, know-it-all who thinks she’s better than everyone else.” He muttered, his voice lowering into a range you had never heard before from the male. It sent a heat straight to your core, a heat you usually only felt around Wonwoo, this seemed to only fuel your anger. You quickly pushed your hands to his, rather firm, chest and shoved him backwards, hard enough to get him away from you but not hard enough to accidentally hurt him.

“And I think you’re a lazy jackass who hasn’t had to work a day in his life just because his perfect good looks have gotten him everything he could ever want.” You retorted, voice coming out almost as a growl. If a look could kill someone then Mingyu would have instantly caught fire from the heat of your gaze. Despite your anger, he still carried that smug grin on his face.

“Awe, you think I’m pretty? I mean, you’re right but it’s always nice to hear.”

“Fuck, you’re insuferable! Just shut up and leave me alone, so I can finish making this fucking dinner and then leave.” With that you turned back to the counter, furiously beginning your task as you tried to ignore the man who was currently plaguing your day.

“Make me.” Those two little words, you weren’t sure why but those two simple words seemed to throw your entire world into disarray. It was like a switch was flipped and you couldn’t stop the urge growing inside you, the urge to break him. You wanted him practically crying and begging for you, but...you couldn’t do that. Despite how much you hated him, this was still Wonwoo’s boyfriend and while he was okay with Wonwoo fooling around with you...you weren’t sure how Wonwoo would feel if you decided to humiliate his boyfriend. You gripped the bowl in front of you, trying your best to take a deep breath and stop yourself from doing the terrible things you were thinking of.

“Didn’t you hear me? I said make me. I thought that was like a trigger phrase for dom’s?” So he knew what he was doing, he knew it and was still being an ass. The switch broke, and all you could see was red. You turned back to face him, glowering up at him and your face flushed with an angry heat.

“What the hell are you trying to pull Kim Mingyu?” Your accusatory tone was harsh, even harsher than the tones you used at work. In fact, the only time you had really spoken like this to anyone was the one time Wonwoo had attempted to be a brat. You watched as a small shiver went up his spine, his eyes never leaving yours. His shit eating grin seemed to only grow as you took harsh steps towards him, causing him to back up until he was stopped by a wall. His back pressed firmly against it, but you refused to lift your arms and cage him in.

“Well, what if I told you I didn’t come over to help with dinner prep.”

“Color me surprised.” He ignored your sarcasm and continued.

“What if I said that Wonwoo wanted me to come here early, cause he wanted me to see how good he got it with you?” It almost seemed like he was determined to give you a heart attack today, there was no way Wonwoo would have said something like that. Right? As if he could sense the hesitation to believe his words, reached up and gently cupped your cheek with his.

“Or maybe, you’d rather I take control today?” Once again it seemed like he knew exactly how to push your buttons to rekindle the rage in your gut all over again. You reached up and gripped his wrist, yanking his hand away from you. Your earlier fervor returning, as you tightly clenched his wrist. The grip tight enough to show him just who was in charge here, but not tight enough to actually hurt him.

“Bad boys don’t get to be in control.”

“Bad Boy? Is that what we’re going with?”

“It’s better than me calling you a jackass. Which is the name i’d prefer to call you.”

Everything felt like a blur, soon you were pulling him towards you by his collar and slamming your lips onto his own. It was nothing like your kisses with Wonwoo which were full of passion, you filled this with as much anger as you could. You wanted him to feel your anger, your pain, you deserved that much if all you were going to be is a cock sleeve. A dom to get tossed back and forth between the couple. You weren’t sure if that was what Wonwoo was intending but, a part of you felt worthless in any aspect except sex so you might as well use what you’ve got.

Not bothering to break the heated kiss, full of teeth and tongue, you navigated Mingyu into the living room. Only then did you pull away, nipping at his bottom lip with your teeth as you did. He quickly went to bring his lips back to your own, but you decided to not let him get that pleasure and shoved him back onto the couch, his shirt riding up ever so slightly as he fell back onto the sofa that was much too small for him, let alone two people.

“We have rules here Mingyu, I know you have trouble following them at work but try not to be too much of a whore and break my rules. Got it?” He rolled his eyes as you began explaining, as if he were already planning on disobeying your very simple rules. “First is, we go by the color system. Got it?” He nodded. “The second is, you don’t cum until I tell you to.”

You might hate the male below you, but you weren’t going to do things he wasn’t comfortable with. You weren’t a terrible person, just an angry one. Despite these gratuitous warnings, Mingyu still seemed irritatingly smug.

“Wow, pretty weak rules. I doubt you could make me cum even if you tried.”

You were going to make him eat those words.

Which was probably why he was currently a groaning mess on your couch, hands bound behind his back and his jeans long discarded. In your hand was a small vibrator that you were just lightly pressing against his hard cock. He wasn’t as large as Wonwoo, width wise and was a bit shorter than him but it was still pretty impressive. You would never tell him that though.

He looked a mess, almost as if he was just about to hit his high. So you removed the toy, and listened to those beautiful whines escape his lips. He was in for a long ride if he thought this was the worst you were going to do to him.

“Awe, is the little whore upset I took his toy away?” Your tone mocking as you turned off the vibrator, waiting for his response to see just what you would do next. He seemed to be expecting something like this and grinned despite his heavy breathing.

“You’re little games aren’t doing shit. I think you’re just too scared to fuck me yourself.” Without hesitation you returned the vibrator to his dick, turning it onto its highest setting just so you could watch him squirm. He let out a loud gasp, throwing his head back against the couch cushions, his back arching off of the couch as he let out a sinful moan. Then it was over, you were once again pulling the toy away from him once again, giving a teasing lick to the silicone as he glared at you through hooded eyes. His breath coming out in small pants as he lost that high once more.

With a smug smirk of your own, you leaned forward your lips stopping right next to his ear. One of your hands reached down to slowly stroke his twitching member, you could practically feel how close he was.

“Oh I’m not scared, I just don’t want your trash dick inside me.” Much to your surprise you felt him tremble beneath you. So he liked being talked down to? That was good to know, you would definitely be using that to your advantage. It was a stark contrast from Wonwoo who lived for praise, you honestly thought Mingyu would be the same way.

“What makes you think I’d want your dick when I can fuck your boyfriend whenever I want? His massive cock fills me up so well, almost like he was made for me.” Your words were but a sinful whisper in his ear. Your teeth gently nipping at the lobe of his ear, pulling slightly as you spoke. The words plus your hand against his dick brought out another groan, almost like you had struck a match inside him. Before you could stop him, he pushed himself forward and sunk his teeth into the crook of your neck and you were almost certain that it was almost harsh enough to break the skin. A surprised yelp left your lips, mixing into a long moan at the feeling. Without even thinking about it, your grip on his dick tightened which seemed to be the exact reaction he was hoping for. The feeling pulling him over the edge as he released into your hand with a low guttural moan.

You pulled yourself away, staring at your jizz covered hand in feigned disgust.

“One simple rule, and you couldn’t even follow it. Wonwoo was right when he said you were fucking filthy.” You chastised, wiping your hand off on his naked thigh not giving him the pleasure of seeing you lick it off of your own skin. He hadn’t earned that.

“What’re you gonna do about it? Punish me?” The words left his lips just as your hand moved to wrap around his neck, squeezing the side lightly as to give him the choking sensation without actually putting him in potential danger.

“Whore, what’s your color?”

“Fuck, fuck green. So green, fuck.” Taking that response, you quickly tighten your grip which was followed by another strangled groan. You weren’t about to admit it, but he looked really hot like this. Underneath you, completely spent while still seeming to be gearing up for another round.

“Well then you better get comfortable, brat. Because you’ve really pissed me off now.” With every word your grip tightened just a bit more before you pulled away, ending the sentence. You turned your back to him for a moment, shoving off everything that had previously been on your coffee table before taking a seat on top of it, right in perfect view of Mingyu.

“If you even want me to think about putting your filthy dick inside of me, then you better not move. Got that?” You didn’t wait for his response as you pulled your shirt over your head, and quickly unclipped your bra, tossing both of the garments to the other side of the living room to be forgotten about. Without hesitation you began fondling your chest, tweaking your rapidly hardening nipples. Your eyes never left Mingyu, making sure he was paying attention and keeping still. A quick glance down at his lap and you could see his cock slowly starting to harden once more at the sight before him. His tongue slipped out of his mouth to lick his lips, eyes not leaving your chest as you fondled yourself.

While one hand continued to fondle your breasts, your other slid down to tease the waste of your shorts.

“Tell me what you want you little whore, maybe I’ll give it to you if you ask nicely enough.” In truth, you had no intention of giving him anything just yet but dangling his wants in front of his face would be so sweet a punishment. One he deserved for breaking your rules.

“Let me fuck you, I know you want it too. I’ve seen how you keep watching my cock, almost drooling aren’t you baby girl.” Instantly at his words, you stopped touching yourself and stood from the table. Without a word you made your way out of the living room and down the hallway, ignoring as he called out to you. To your surprise though, he was still in the same spot on the couch when you returned with what you had got to grab. A soft silk tie, black in color and well used.

You grabbed the previously discarded vibrator and returned it to its former position pressed against his cock and used the tie to keep it held there without the need for your hands before you turned it onto the lowest setting possible. Still sweet but enough to drive him crazy. Then you proceeded to push him back down into a lying position before stripping yourself of your shorts and underwear, tossing them into the ever growing pile of clothing.

“If you’re going to keep talking back, I might as well put your disgusting mouth to good use.” You said, swinging your leg over him so that you were now straddling his face. Your dripping pussy resting just above his face. “Get to work, bitch.”

He groaned out, loving the treatment you were giving him before he latched his lips to your wet sex, tongue lapping up whatever liquid he could as if this were his last meal. It was honestly really fucking sexy. You couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a soft breathy moan, which only seemed to encourage the male below you.

As another mewl left your lips you heard the sound of the front door being opened, and the distinct voice of Wonwoo calling out that he was home. Your heart almost stopped, you weren’t sure if you were excited for Wonwoo to discover the two of you or terrified. Mingyu didn’t seem bothered by it, not even really acknowledging his boyfriend’s voice as he continued to devour your pussy. His tongue gave a particularly pleasing swipe just as Wonwoo entered the living room.

Your eyes met his brown ones and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he saw the compromising position the two of you were in. For a moment, you were concerned that Mingyu had lied and that Wonwoo would be upset. The relief that filled your body as he quickly closed the distance, leaning over the couch and pulling you into a deep kiss. If it was possible the kiss was almost better than the attacks to your lower region, if only because it was from Wonwoo. When he pulled away he let his forehead press against your own.

“I see you guys couldn’t be bothered to wait for me…” He didn’t sound upset at all though, almost as if he were hoping to catch the two of you in the act. You reached up and took a handful of his beautiful brown tresses into your grip, pulling ever so slightly as you ground your pelvis against Mingyu’s face.

“This little whore needed to be taught a lesson, Nunu. You’re boyfriend’s such a disgusting boy, so selfish.” Your words could barely come out as you felt your high coming closer and closer. Mingyu was in fact, pretty damn good with his mouth. You weren’t about to come undone yet though, so you released Wonwoo from your grip and pushed Mingyu’s head away from you. The action was met with a pitiful whine from the infuriating male.

“Oh shut up, you don’t deserve to make me cum. You’ve been nothing but a whiney, needy bitch. Like a dog in heat.” You watched him tremble as your words went straight to his dick, the vibrations from the toy doing just enough to keep him needy but not enough to get him too close to cumming again.

“You like that, being a little dog? Fucking sick, this little dog just wants a hole to fuck.” You reached down and gripped his cheeks in your hand, pushing your face just close enough for you to bite his lip before pulling away.

Your attention turned fully to Wonwoo, a small grin on his face.

“Nunu, can you show this dirty dog how to be a good boy?” A request the male was all too quick to comply with. At your instructions he stripped down under the watchful eyes of both yourself and Mingyu.

“Now i want you to sit on the table, right here. Don’t touch yourself until I get back.” You ordered, and Wonwoo nodded. As obedient as always. You glanced back at Mingyu, arms still tied behind his back, dick looking almost painfully hard and your slick covering his lips. Letting out a small chuckle before leaving the living room once more only this time on much shakier legs.

As you dug through your toybox you could hear the distinct voice of Mingyu.

“Come one Wonwoo, you should touch yourself. Don’t you wanna make her mad?” He was trying to sound in control but you could tell the over stimulation was getting to him. His words were pitchy, and he seemed to be trying to catch his breath as he egged on his boyfriend. Oh he was going to regret that.

“Not really,” Was Wonwoo’s reply. “She’ll keep you on edge for hours if you keep this up, Gyu.” The male scoffed, only his scoff came out more as a moan than anything else. You couldn’t see what he was doing but you could hear the distinct sound of the creaking couch to give away that he was in fact moving despite your instructions. Another strike.

“S-She...she’s not so tough.” Left his lips as you returned to the room, strap on in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other. You could see Wonwoo’s eyes light up as he recognized the item, which just so happened to be his favorite of the strap ons that you owned. Keeping yourself behind the couch so that you obscured Mingyu’s vision of you until you had the extension snuggly strapped onto yourself.

Being the good boy he was, Wonwoo scooted himself to the edge of the table and leaned back on his hands as he waited for you. You stopped just in front of him, squeezing a nice amount of lube into your open palm and began coating the strap on, stroking the silicone toy as Wonwoo and Mingyu hungrily watched.

“Color?”

You question was followed by both men giving green, giving you the go ahead to continue. Kneeling forward, you pushed Wonwoo’s legs apart and he was more than willing to let you. His hand stayed pressed firmly against the hardwood of the coffee table, his fingers twitching slightly as he did his best to not touch himself or you until he got the go ahead. The order never came though, this was about putting on a show for Mingyu and that’s exactly what you were going to do.

You slowly prodded a lube covered finger at his ass, teasing the hole a bit before entering to begin preparing him for the much larger dildo. Once again the apartment was filled with your favorite sounds, his low breathy moans. Only this time they were accompanied by the almost whining coming from Mingyu as he lay helpless on the couch.

“See Mingyu? This is what good little boys get. Isn’t that right Nunu?” Your question was followed by a few soft teasing nips at his thigh, and another finger entering his tight hole. His moans were breathtaking to listen to, it filled you with confidence that you couldn’t describe. Your own core was practically throbbing, you had no idea you would enjoy being watched like this.

Your other hand reached up, taking Wonwoo’s massive cock and slowly pumping it just as you had done to Mingyu’s before this. The whimpers that left his lips as Mingyu squirming from his spot on the couch, desperate to be touched by something more than the vibrator that was still lightly buzzing. After a few more pumps of your hand, you removed the fingers and positioned yourself in front of the entrance.

“God, yes please please fuck me.” Wonwoo was practically begging at this point.

“Anything for my good boy.” Slowly, you pushed your hips forward to sink the thick black silicone dick inside of Wonwoo’s ass. You took a second to let him get adjusted, and to just watch him whimper below you, his back arching and his eyes screwed shut as he begged for you to move. Which you gladly complied with.

“You’re always so good for me Nunu, my perfect boy.” You praised as you thrust into his ass, taking quick thrust just the way he liked it. Pulling out almost completely before harshly snapping your hips forward, making sure to stroke his cock in time with your trusts. The actions had him a mess below you and you could practically see Mingyu drooling as he watched the two of you.

“Mingyu, if you want this. Then I want you to rut against the couch. You better cum without me touching you or you won’t be getting anything else tonight.” It was almost instantaneous how quickly he moved, flipping over onto his stomach as he began needily humping at your couch, his eyes never leaving the scenario in front of him though as he used it to try and bring himself his much needed second release of the night.

The air felt hot and humid as the moans of the two males filled the apartment, and fuck it was hot. You weren’t even being properly touched and you were still feeling close. The feeling only growing as Wonwoo shivered below you.

“Please, please miss. F-fuck, pleae let me cum.” He whimpered, his eyes glancing over at Mingyu. Watching his boyfriend rutting against the couch like a dog in heat. For a moment you were brought out of the mood, remembering that you were just a third you had no part of the actual relationship that the two men had. Shaking your head, you quickly pulled yourself back, that was a problem for future you. Right now your only concern was making sure these men were properly fucked out.

“Go ahead, cum for me baby. Cum while your boyfriend watches me fuck you.” That was all he needed, you felt his dick twitch in your hand before thick strings of white cum left him. You continued your mistrations making sure to milk his orgasm for all it was worth. Your eyes drifted over to Mingyu, who seemed to be having a bit of trouble getting to that high once again and he looked down right pitiful.

After Wonwo had successfully come back to you, you pulled yourself from him as you decided to give Mingyu a little help. Sure you still hated him, but it would be cruel to not finish him off now.

“Stop and sit up.” You ordered, and surprisingly the male responded just as Wonwoo had, with obedience. You unlaced the tie and pulled the unsatisfying vibrator away from his cock, listening to more loud whiny moans leave his lips.

“Don’t expect me to be this nice again, you filthy dog. I have standards.” You muttered, before lowering your lips to his throbbing dick. You could hear Wonwoo’s breathy moans from behind you as he watched you suck off his boyfriend. Hollowing your cheeks and teasing his tip with your tongue seemed to be just enough to push Mingyu over the edge and you felt his thick hot release enter your mouth. Not wanting to make a mess, you just swallowed the salty liquid before pulling away and wiping your lips. His loud moans causing your core to ache in need. Which was another thing you would never admit out loud, his moans were just as delicious as Wonwoo’s.

“See? Was being good so hard?” You questioned, pulling your mouth off of his softening member. Sure you were left still needy but you could take care of that in the shower, your job here was done. They got what they wanted out of you and you’d see yourself out.

You went to stand once more, muttering something about going to take a shower and clean up when you felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around you from behind. Wonwoo carefully began unstrapping the accessory from your pelvis, letting it fall to the floor between you and Mingyu with a soft thud. Followed by his lips pressing small kisses against your neck.

“Gyu, think you can finish her off?” He questioned the fucked out male on the couch in between his feather light kisses. You heard a soft groan escape Mingyu’s lips, almost as if it were a hassle but he reached out and grabbed your thighs to pull you closer to him.

“Nunu, it’s fine.” You tried to protest, but the words stopped dead in your throat as Mingyu’s tongue began to work you once again. A small curse leaving your lips as your hand found its way into Mingyu’s hair, causing him to chuckle slightly before his lips latched against your clit, his tongue working furiously to tease the nub.

“You really think we’re just going to let you leave after that?” Wonwoo questioned, his tone reminding you of the times he would switch. Taking control of your little scenarios and it had you letting out another embarrassingly loud groan. “You’re not leaving here until you cum.”

And cum you did.

A few hours later, after some showers, the three of you were gathered around the kitchen table with a small slew of pizza boxes since none of you had the actual energy to make dinner. It wasn’t awkward per se, but you certainly felt awkward. The two were casually chatting with each other as if what transpired in the living room hadn’t happened. You picked at the pepperoni on the slice in front of you. Sure you were hungry but couldn’t bring yourself to really eat more than a few bites.

“Hey, make sure to eat. You probably wore yourself out back there,” Mingyu mentioned, causing you to finally look up from your pizza and connect eyes with him. “You’re gonna need the food so you get back that energy.”

Your eyes flickered over to Wonwoo before returning to Mingyu. “I am eating.” You lied, lifting the slice to show him the small bites you had taken. “I don’t need you babying me.”

The sound of Wonwoo muttering your name had your attention on him once again, “You don’t have to be the hard one all the time.” Just like normal, he seemed to see right through you. A sigh escaped your lips as you reluctantly took another bite of the food. After you thoroughly chewed and swallowed the bite you spoke once more.

“I’ll be heading over to Josh’s tonight,” This had both men turning their gaze to you once more. The anxiety from before filled your gut once more, maybe you would even ask Josh if he was needing another roommate. “Give you guys some alone time, ya know?”

“What if...we said we wanted you to stay?” You were caught off guard by Mingyu’s declaration, fixing your nemesis with a harsh questioning gaze. He seemed to find the look amusing, once again returning to your game of cat and mouse. “Is that so bad? It’s not like you’re completely terrible company.”

“I’m not fucking you again.”

Your words had both men letting out their own unique laughs, the sound surprisingly made your heart flutter. Wonwoo’s was to be expected, but Mingyu’s that was new territory. Wonwoo took Mingyu’s hand, gently caressing the top of it with his thumb. You found your gaze lingering on the intimate action, a longing filling your chest and making you sick to your stomach. You didn’t want to just be a third that was kept around for fun times, but how were you supposed to tell them that when all your words seemed to die in your throat.

“We’re not asking for that. We...talked while you were in the shower, we’d like to give this,” Wonwoo gestured to the three of you. “A try.”

“You are aware that I absolutely hate your boyfriend though.” Which wasn’t a total lie, he was still infuriating but now that you were watching him with Wonwoo. You were seeing a side of him that you had originally not believed to exist, a side that wasn’t a complete ass.

“He’s aware, I told him all about our ‘loving’ work relationship.” Mingyu snorted as he spoke, rolling his eyes as he probably imagined how just yesterday had been for the two of you. “And we still want to give it a shot. He and I love each other, but he...also loves you.”

The confession has your heart stopping dead in your chest, eyes quickly moving back over to watch Wonwoo’s face heat up in a pink flush at Mingyu confessing for him.

“It’s the main reason I was cool with the two of you fooling around. I knew I had part of his heart, but so did you. It’s also why I wanted to meet you. It’d be easier on all of us if you and I also shared something, yeah?”

“You’re kidding right? This is all just some massive joke isn’t it? It’s not funny, guys.” You felt your hands tremble lightly, scared that they would admit to their offer being false. That you’d be left alone and hurt at such a cruel prank. To your surprise though, Wonwoo reached across the table and took your hand in his own. Caressing the skin as he had done with Mingyu’s only moments ago.

“It’s no joke. I love you, and I hope you love me too...and can maybe even come to love Mingyu too.”

For the first time in a long time, your heart was soaring in your chest.

***

“Mingyu, I love you I really fucking do, but that doesn’t mean I’m cool with you making me wait your tables.” You complained, shoving your boyfriend from behind as the two of you entered your apartment after returning from another ridiculously long shift at your mutual job. Mingyu laughed as he slipped out of his shoes so he could make his way into the apartment proper.

“But you still let me do it, just admit it. You’re whipped for me now~”

“Oh, in your dreams, Puppy.” You could tell the nickname hit Mingyu just the right way, by now you knew all the right buttons to press to tease him without even having to touch him. Slipping off your own shoes you followed him into the living room flopping down on the couch as he turned the AC on, muttering something about how hot the stupid apartment was.

Closing your eyes, your rested your head against the back of the couch in an attempt to relax despite still being in your work clothing. It was only for a moment though, as Mingyu moved to straddle your waist.

“Down boy, tonight’s Wonwoo’s night. I don’t have the energy to deal with your ridiculous sex drive right now.” You muttered, but didn’t bother trying to push him off as he leaned forwards to nip at your neck just the way you liked it. He pouted against the flesh but did as he was told, stopping his ‘assault’ but not bothering to move off of you.

That was how Wonwoo found the two of you when he returned home from work, the both of you fast asleep on the couch without a care in the world. He watched his partners with a soft look in his eye, heart filled with love.

It wasn’t the perfect relationship but it was one he wouldn’t trade for the world.

#svtredroom #seventeen smut #svt smut #mingyu smut #wonwoo smut #kim mingyu smut #jeon wonwoo smut

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jawritter · 4 years ago

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An Alpha And His Omega

Summary: Sometimes Alpha’s aren’t the assholes, sometimes words Omegas say things that can hurt too.

Written for: @flamencodiva and Diva’s Writing Challenge

Prompt: He was unconscious when I found him.

Warnings: Angst, virble arguments, the reader is a bitch of a bitch in this one, pining sickness, abo dynamics, sick!dean, language, smut, unprotected sex, knotting, claiming, scenting, protective Sam, (sam’s actually pretty scary in this one). I think that’s everything, sorry If I missed something.

Word count: 5860 (Whops)

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!reader

A/N: This fic was beta’d by @deanwanddamons! Thanks again love! Please do not copy my work! Hope you all enjoy this one!

***MASTERLIST*** ***BECOME A PATREON***

There wasn’t a word to describe how angry you were right now with Dean Winchester. If you were strong enough, you’d kick his ass, and even though you were in excellent shape for an omega, you still couldn’t hold a candle to the big, brooding Alpha.

Dean had been in a bad mood for weeks now. Well, months if you think about it. You’d known Dean for years, ever since you were kids growing up at Bobby’s while your father’s went on hunting trips together, and you always got along well enough, better than most unmated Alphas did with unmated Omegas.

You attributed that to the life the two of you lived. It wasn’t exactly ideal for having any sort of mate really, and you always took your suppressants when you were around Dean.

Then you met Jamie. He was a good guy, and an even better hunter. He had all the physical attributes you would look for in an Alpha, and he didn’t want to settle down and have a litter of pups. He literally just wanted someone he could trust to help him through his ruts, and you wanted someone to help you through your heats.

It was a win, win situation. You helped each other when you needed help, and went your separate ways without any attachments. You knew Jamie wouldn’t claim you, and you knew you could go through the physical work up without being attached to him. Without getting those dreaded feelings. When you started this little arrangement, you began to take a lower dosage of suppressants because it wasn’t good to take such a high dosage all the time, and with Jamie being on call you didn’t need to fight against your biology as much.

That’s when you started having trouble with Dean Winchester.

It began with the twenty questions every time you would leave and come back from being with Jamie for a few days. Then once, you caught him layering his scent on your clothes in your closet, like you wouldn’t notice. Then it was the constant pandering behind you. Wanting you to eat the food he’d bring you, or constantly checking in on you when you just wanted to be left alone.

Then it progressed to being a dick to Jamie when he’d come around on the rare off chance he wanted to hang out with you all at the bar. Tonight had been one of those nights, and it was an Alpha pissing contest between Dean, and an uninterested Jamie, who had just come there to drink.

Dean had stalked Jamie out to his car while you went to the bathroom before you were supposed to part ways with Jamie, but when you got out to the car you found Jamie on the ground, and a pretty amused Dean kneeling over him.

You were infuriated. Jamie had done nothing wrong, and as much as Dean denied it, you knew it was him that broke Jamie’s jaw tonight, not some random guy from the parking lot like Dean tried to say it was. If it wasn’t Dean, Jamie wouldn’t have broken off your arrangement when you dropped him off at home from the hospital, and had to call Dean to come and pick you up off the side of the road because it was too cold to walk across town.

“I swear Y/N, he was unconscious when I found him,” Dean said, trailing you as you walked into the library where Sam and Jack sat with a pile of books between them.

That was it, your last straw, between being an ass hole to your friend, and being as clingy as a newly mated Omega you had, had all of Dean’s shit you could take. Not even stopping to think about what was going to come out of your mouth, you rounded on the very surprised Alpha.

“Fuck off Dean!, I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m SICK to fucking death of you being up my ass all the time. Now you've gone and messed up a good arrangement because you're nothing but a pompous, self absorbed Alpha, who thinks he has some sort of claim on me because I live under his roof. Well guess what buddy, you don’t own me, I’m not your Omega, and never will be, your good for nothing but a breeder, and I’m not interested in getting knocked up any time soon, so stay the fuck away from me!”

The words had tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop yourself, and the high pitched whine that seem to fall from deep inside of Dean’s chest as he staggered backwards away from you like you had burned with a brander, was almost as impressive as the surprising growl that came from Sam at the table. Even Jack jumped back and moved away from the three of you.

“I KNOW you just did not call my brother nothing more than a breeder,” Sam said through gritted teeth, using his impressive height to tower over you, and make your inner omega cower as you backed away from him. “I suggest you take your little, too good for a Winchester, ass to your room and leave my brother alone before I rip your fucking throat out. You’d be lucky to have an Alpha like Dean, but bitches like you don’t deserve the man he is.”

You could do nothing but back down and submit to the fuming Alpha, forgetting about Dean momentarily as he continued to whine like a dog that had been kicked while he retreated to his room, leaving you to Sam’s own devices. Jack stayed rooted to the spot he’d moved to when Sam had erupted from the table, taking everything in with wide, doe-like eyes.

“You know, you're lucky I don’t throw you out on your ass right now,” Sam said, stalking in front of you like he wanted to rip your head clean off your shoulders.You had never seen the younger Winchester so angry in your life. “Dean let you move in here, gave you a roof over your head, runs behind you hand over fist, and this is how you thank him? By calling him a breeder?”

“I’m sorry Sam, it just slipped out. After what he pulled with Jamie…”

“What did you think was going to happen, Y/N? Dean’s had a crush on you since we were barely teenagers, and when you stopped taking the suppressants it only got worse for him when he could actually scent you. Dean wouldn’t have hurt Jamie, because he doesn’t want to hurt you, and if he says he didn’t hit him, then he didn’t do it.”

You stood there, wide eyes staring at Sam in complete disbelief. Dean had a crush on you? It couldn’t be true, and if it was Dean had hidden it well. You had known him pretty much all your life, and while you always found him mildly clingy and annoying, it never even crossed your mind that Dean was harboring feelings towards you.

He was always a ladies man, the guy that could bed any girl he ever wanted, and you just never even suspected it.

“Sam, I…”

“Just, save it Y/N. But if I hear you talking to my brother like that again you're out of here. Got it?”

You nod, and make your way to your bedroom with your mind completely clouded and shock set deep in your bones. You paused outside of Dean’s closed door and started to knock on it, to apologize to him, but you just couldn't do it.

What if Sam was wrong, and you made a complete idiot of yourself? What if Dean didn’t like you, or have feelings for you at all? Hell, you weren’t even sure how you felt about him!

So you swallow hard, and keep walking, making your way to your own room, and drinking yourself to sleep with thoughts of Dean that you never let yourself think about before, rolling around in your mind.

The next few weeks in the bunker were tense to say the least. Dean barley left his room at all, and when he did he’d hardly speak to anyone, but he didn’t speak to you especially. Sam couldn’t even get him to go on a simple salt and burn with him upstate, Dean insisted he call Eileen to go with him.

Of course, Sam blamed you, and you felt that you deserved it.

Dean had a lot of good qualities. Sure, he could be a totally self absorbed asshat, but what person living and breathing, didn’t have their moments when they weren’t so fun to be around. Dean was loyal to a fault. Self sacrificing on a level you had never seen in anyone else, supernatural being or human. When he loved someone, he loved them completely. He gave more of himself than he rightfully should have had to in life, and that had its effect on him. It made him clingy and overprotective at times, and it made him a little bit of a pest, but looking back, you regretted ever saying that he was good for nothing but a breeder.

Dean Winchester was so much more than that. Sam was right, and the more you thought about it, the more right you discovered he was.

There was one side of Dean, a dark one that he carried from years of being in hell, becoming a knight of hell, and just having to grow up in this life in general, had left a stain on him. It told you not to challenge him, and not to push him right now. It said it in the way his body tensed every time you walked into the room since your little fight.

You wanted to apologize to him desperately, but you also didn’t want to push your luck with him, and get your ass kicked out. You were lucky you hadn’t had it done to you already.

This morning had started out just like any other. Sam had come back from his run, and was preparing his rabbit food, you were sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, and your laptop open, searching for a case, and everything seemed to be going on as it always did, everything but the blatantly empty space across the table from you that Dean normally occupied.

You suddenly lost your appetite for your coffee, or anything really, and pushed it away from you as Sam came and sat down at the opposite end of the table, his eyes scanning yours for a moment before he let out a long sigh, sitting his fork down and rubbing his hands over his face. The tension building in the room was almost tangible.

“I’m sorry Sam, I really am,” you finally tell him in a small voice, unable to look up in his eyes that you could feel staring back at you. “I didn’t mean what I said to Dean, I really didn’t. I was just so angry with him...I would go apologize to him, but I’m afraid he’ll try and take my fucking head off.”

“It’s not all you, Y/N,” he finally told you, running his fingers through his hair with a huff of irritation. “I probably made things worse when I exploded the way I did, and I’m sorry for that. I didn’t handle the situation properly. That’s on me.”

A long silence passed between the two of you, and it seemed almost deafening. Until, finally, Sam spoke again, his eyes lingering on the hallway leading towards Dean’s room as he did.

“It’s not like Dean to hide away like this. I’m worried about him. He’s close to his rut, and that’s why he was being clingy towards you. He was trying to get your attention. He hasn’t been himself ever since. I don’t think he’s really even eating.”

“Do you think it would help if I left, just packed my shit and got away from him?” you asked Sam, but he just shook his head before standing with his plate.

“No, I don’t think that’s going to solve anything. I do think that years of suppressants may have deadened your senses to what Dean’s sensing, and that you need to give Dean a chance. He very well could be your true mate, and you just don’t know it.”

You thought about that in silence for a moment before you were finally able to make your voice work again. Could Dean really have been your true mate all this time? It didn’t seem real to you. Dean had never shown that he was interested in you, until recently when Jamie came around, and you had stopped using such strong suppressants.

Then it hit you. The suppressants were as strong, and Dean was probably able to really scent you for the first time.

The lump that formed in your throat felt like it was going to choke you to death, but you swallowed it, and looked up at Sam, who was now leaning on the bar watching you.

“What do I do, Sam? Where do I go from here?” you asked him, tears burning just below the surface. You had never felt so much regret in your life. Your heart literally hurt.

“Trust your instincts Y/N.This may not be easy, but what in life worth having ever is?”

For most of the morning, you spent your time pacing your room and ringing your hands, trying to decide what to do. You knew you had to do something. Dean hadn’t even come out of his room this morning, and you were becoming more and more worried about him by the second.

Consulting a few lore books had told you that the theory you and Sam had come up with this morning was more than likely the case. It said that when you're on strong suppressants long enough it can mask your scent to your mate completely, or even hide you from your true mate. It said that once you got started with the matting process that instinct would take over, and the rise in your body temperature would burn off the suppressants totally, giving you the ability to scent him as strongly as he could scent you.

You had decided that since Dean’s weakness was food, you were going to fix him some of his favorite pie, and bring it to him as a peace offering and see where things go from there. You had no sooner got to the kitchen though, when Sam slid in and told you to come with him before scurrying off to Dean’s room with you hot on his trail.

“What’s wrong, Sam?” you asked as you skidded to a stop in the open door way of Dean’s room. Dean’s back was to the door, and the covers pulled high up almost over his head. Sam was kneeling down in front of his brother with his hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know, he’s burning up,” he told you, and you made your way cautiously around the bed to look at the Alpha that you had literally never seen ill a day in his life. Yet here he was, laying on his side, sweat forming just at his hairline, checks inflamed with fever, and shivering lightly.

“Dean,” you say softly, afraid to touch him, but something draws you closer to him all the same. “Dean, what’s wrong?”

Dean’s darkened eyes looked up slowly to meet your gaze for a moment before he closed them again.

“What do you care,Y/N? All I’m good for is breeding right? So what’s one less Alpha in the world to you when you think I’m not worth your time anyway?”

If his words were intended to cut, then they did their job, because it took everything in you to hold back the whine that threatened to fall from your throat as his words seemed to slice into your very soul.

“Dean, come on, you know I didn’t mean it, I was just irritated with you and…”

“Save it, Y/N.” Dean said, not even bothering to open his eyes, and turning his back to you and Sam. Evidently, he was done talking.

“I’ll go call Jody, she may be able to tell us what’s going on with you,” Sam said, mouthing for you to stay here, and talk to his brother, earning him a death glare that you hoped showed him just how much you wanted to strangle him right now.

How the fuck where going to get Dean to talk to you if he didn’t want too? He was literally the most stubborn man you had ever met, and when he was done talking you couldn’t torture a word out of him.

‘Follow your instincts, Y/N,' you said to yourself. Taking a deep breath, you got up and went to sit on the edge of the bed close enough that you could feel the heat coming from his body.

“Dean, please, I’m sorry. I know you're mad at me, and you have every right to be. Please know that I didn’t mean a word that I said to you. You're a lot more than a breeder, and I’m sorry I ever said it to you.”

You got no response, and for a moment you wondered if he’d fallen asleep, until he rolled over to face you again. He looked so tired, so pale. You had never seen Dean this down. Not even when Sam jumped in the pit, and he ran off to Lisa.

“You remember when we were kids? You presented as an Omega and you were so angry about it. You were sure you were going to present as an Alpha,” Dean said, a ghost of a smile on his lips as a shiver ripped through his body. “ You told Bobby that your genetics were wrong, and you weren’t going to accept that you were an Omega.”

Your mind brought you back to that. You were sitting outside with Dean on the hood of an old Ford truck in the wrecking yard when you presented. You were so fucking angry. Now you just saw it as another sign of what should have been so obvious, but wasn’t until now, and you had to fight against the sting of tears that burned in your eyes.

“I remember. I was angry that I was going to spend my life as a pup factory for some dick Alpha, and I wouldn’t be able to hunt anymore.”

“You know, all you would have had to do was say the word, and I would have claimed you right there,” Dean said, causing you to stare at him in complete shock. Dean was a few years older than you, and had presented as Alpha long before you had presented at all, but to hear him say that outloud you nearly swallowed your tongue.

“I didn’t do it because I knew you would have resented me forever. You had so much pent up anger that I knew you needed to work through it before you were ever able to even think about something that extreme. You needed to find yourself, to have a life outside of being tied to another person. So I let you go.”

“Dean,” you tried to stop him before the water works could start, but to no avail, he just kept talking, like a pot that was boiling over with pent up emotions and there was just no stopping it.

“Then you left for a little while, but when you came back, I couldn’t scent you anymore. I didn’t understand what happened, so I just let it go, thinking that it was just young hormones raging that almost made me claim you. Then, when I had all but shoved every bit of feeling down that I ever had for you, you walked by me in a bar and I could scent you again, just as strong as I had that day. I knew I had to get your attention, but I was too late and you had Jamie.”

You looked away from him as the tears you had been holding back began to fall, unable to look at him anymore.

“I knew you didn’t feel for me what I’ve always felt for you Y/N, but I never expected you to see me as nothing more than a breeder, a mutt, a worthless piece of Alpha trash, nothing more than a knot. I never expected you to reject me this way.”

“Dean, I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t know,” you tell him through tears, but he just shivered again, letting his eyes close. The fever that was raging inside of him was making him exhausted, and even you could see it.

“Let me get you something to try and bring the fever down,” you tell him, but as you tried to stand his hand caught yours, stopping you in your tracks.

“Sam already did that, and it hasn’t worked. Just, stay with me, please,” he begged you.

Words failed you as your heart broke deep down inside of you, and you sat back down on the bed beside him, watching as his breathing evened out, and his shivering seemed to relax a little.

Of all the things that you thought would take Dean out, this was not the way you saw him going, and yet here you were, feeling so helpless and lost as you watched him sleep, praying Jody would have an answers to what was going on with him, because right now, it looked like Dean wasn’t going to be able to fight this fever off much longer, and you had a feeling it was only going to get worse.

You don't know how long you sat there next to Dean while he slept. It could have been fifteen minutes, it could have been three hours. You had no idea, because to you time seemed to have slowed to an unbelievable crawl.

You did notice that the more you played with his hair, and held his hand in yours, that his over stressed body seemed to relax more. If this was going to give them some measure of comfort, then so be it.

You never noticed until now that you had never really LOOKED at Dean. You never really paid that much attention to just how painfully handsome he was. Even for the line of work you guys did, he had surprisingly very few scars on his face, and the ones he did have only seemed to attribute to his already ruggedly handsome face. The sun kissed skin, and the light dusting of freckles everywhere contrasted one another, but in a good way, it gave him an almost boyish look while he was relaxed and asleep like this. His strong, sharp jaw still held enough of an edge of softness to it that you found yourself wanting more than ever to touch his face, to feel the stubble that was actually a light beard at this point, under your fingers.

His plump, pink lips were parted slightly, and even though his breathing was still coming in pants more than completely normal breaths, he looked peaceful.

You were so entrapped staring at him, that when Sam came skidding to a halt in the door way you nearly fell off of the bed when he spoke in a voice so loud it almost disturbed Dean, who shifted a little in the bed to subconsciously get closer to you, and away from the noise.

“Y/N! Jody says she thinks she knows what the problem is…”

“SHHH!!!” you tell him, adjusting the covers over Dean’s shoulders, and gave Sam a stern look. Sam mouthed “sorry,” before coming closer to you and clearing his throat as he came to the other side of the bed.

“Jody thinks she knows what’s wrong with him,” Sam said a little calmer, pulling a chair to sit down next to Dean’s bed.

“Okay...we’ve established that. Wanna tell me what it is, or you gonna make me try and guess it?” you tell him, quickly getting annoyed that he seemed to have forgotten you couldn’t read minds.

“Right, sorry. She thinks that when you two got in a fight a few weeks ago, that the rejection triggered pinning sickness. It’s rare for Alpha’s, but apparently can sometimes happen when you get rejected by your true mate. I looked it up, and he has every symptom. Fever, weight loss, loss of appetite, increased irritation and moodiness, vomiting…”

“Vomiting? When was he vomiting?” you cut in, and Sam gives you an apologetic look.

“Yesterday, he told me not to tell anyone, and that he’d just eaten something bad. Obviously he was covering up the fact that he was in this bad of a shape, which is normal for Dean. Downplay everything until you can’t do it anymore.”

Shaking your head in annoyance, you brush it off to bitch about it later. You hated it when Dean did shit like that. He was allowed to have bad days, just like everyone else was, and you absolutely hated it when he downplayed what he was really feeling.

“So what do we do?” you ask him, and Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat before meeting your gaze, taking a moment to put his hand over his brother’s forehead to gage his temperature before answering you.

“Well, everything I can find and know about pinning sickness is that close contact with your true mate helps. Like now just from you playing with his hair, and holding his hand like that his temperature seems to be down a good bit. In order for him to get fully past it, you're going to have to let him claim you.”

You tried to hide just how terrifying that thought was to you. To have a mate in this life, to have someone tided to you, to put each other in danger, much less it be a fucking Winchester. This was something you never wanted, but now that he brought it up, you couldn’t help but picture yourself with Dean, maybe even with a pup on your hip that would have brilliant green eyes, just like his father.

“You think he will go for it?” you asked Sam. No one knew Dean better than Sam, and you were not sure how to even begin to have this conversation with Dean after what you had told him. After how you had hurt him.

“I think you won't have to ask him twice,” Sam said, standing up and making his way to the door. “Just, don’t hurt him again, okay? Cause I don’t think he can live through another disappointment.”

You couldn’t make your voice work properly for the tears that were threatening to fall if you tried to speak, so you just nodded your head and continued running your fingers through Dean’s short hair as he slept next to you.

“Wait until he wakes up, let his body recover some, when he does he should be ready,” Sam said before closing the door, and leaving you alone with Dean.

Dean slept for probably another three hours before he even began to stir again, but you could tell by the way he moved and felt when you touched him that his fever was almost gone completely.

You watched as he stretched next to you, and cracked his eyes open to find you still there next to him, then you watched as the look of relief of finding you turned into fear and rejection in what seemed like seconds. It made your heart seize in your chest to think that you had hurt him that badly.

“Good morning handsome,” you try and tease him, but Dean just pulls his hand away from yours, and pulls the covers tighter around himself.

“Morning,” he said simply, avoiding your gaze.

“How do you feel?” you asked him, and he just shrugged, continuing to stare at the wall opposite him.

“Better.You can go now, you don’t have to sit with me, I”m sure you’d rather go and try to talk to Jamie anyway,” Dean said, and you swore you could hear a whine behind his words.

You weren’t going to let him push you away now, not when you had already made up your mind that this is what you wanted, and had always wanted. Even when you were running the bars with him, it had always been Dean that you really wanted, you were just too afraid to admit it.

“I’m not going anywhere Dean,” you tell him, pulling the covers up and sliding in next to the evidently shocked Alpha, who grunted, but didn’t fight you as you snuggled into his arms and close to his broad chest where his heart was hammering away at his rib cage at the close contact of you with him.

Once you saw that he wasn’t going to physically kick you out of his bed, you took the only moment of bravery you were sure you were going to find, and brushed your lips lightly over his mating gland in his thick neck, scenting him deeply, pulling a curse and a shiver from his broad body as he pulled you impossibly closer to him.

“Fuck baby, don’t do that,” he grunted as your teeth lightly grazed the skin of his pulse point, and his hands slid down to grip your hip tightly. “If you start this, I’m not gonna be able to stop, and I...I don’t want you to be tied to someone who is nothing but a breeder, when someone is out there a lot better than me, someone that can give you a stable home and a family.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh you kick yourself again for ever calling him that, reaching up to brush your hands through his hair as he tried to nuzzle himself into your hand. His words were telling you to walk away, but everything in his was screaming for you.

“Dean, you're not just a breeder, I told you, I was just angry, you're so much more than that. I wish you could see what I see in you.”

Dean swallowed thickly and looked away from you, but you weren’t going to let him drop it that easy.

“You’re so strong Dean. Most people that have gone through half the shit you’ve faced in life would have killed themselves by now, and look at you! You’re still here, as many things that have tried to kill you, you’re still here! You’re a fucking hero, you’ve saved countless people time and time again. You love with your whole heart, you’re loyal and protective, you’re everything any Omega would want in an Alpha and then some, so don’t ever think you’re just a knot, but you’re so much more than that, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t see it sooner.”

Dean didn’t say anything, and you could see that he was shutting down, so you did the only thing you knew to do. Taking a deep breath you steel your nerves, and placed a timid kiss to his still slightly parted lips. For a moment, he just froze, but it didn't take long for the tidal wave of emotions to come crashing down over the two of you.

You weren’t really sure of a lot of things . There was so much unknown in every aspect of your life, so you just never expected anything to be constant, not for you, you would die alone on the end of a gun, knife, or at the hands of some freak, and that was the only thing in life you would ever be able to count on. But right now, in this moment, you couldn’t see anything past the two of you, two halves that had fought against becoming whole for so long that the relief was almost insurmountable and indescribable.

As tender, scared kisses turned into more needy and demanding kisses filled with passion and fire that seemed to source down to your very soul. Clothing began to fall to the floor, and shy little touches became rough and more determined. You were sure that this was the piece of your life that had always been missing.

Dean was still fairly weak from days of being sick, but the more his bar skin touched yours, the more his lips and teeth trailed their way down your throat, and over your mating gland, the more his body seemed to come alive again. Yours wasn’t that far behind either, slick quickly coating your thighs as your body seemed to know what your mate needed before you ever could have guessed it, and that was to become connected to you as quickly as possible. Years of waiting made the heated kisses and touches seem that much more intense, and as Dean slid his length fully inside of you without hindrance, you could have sworn you felt the world stop turning.

Most of the time, from what you had been told, when soul mates actually mate and are claimed by their mates it’s a rough and primal act that’s over as fast as it begins. This was so much different than that. It was deeper, more sensual that you would have ever thought to be possible. Every deep thrust of his cock into your waiting heat that was already trembling around him as he stretched and filled you over and over again felt as if it were connecting you at a level deeper than the physical pleasure that was raging through your bodies like a brush fire in the burning summer heat.

He never tried to flip you over like you expected him to, and demand you present like most Alpha’s would have, but instead he held his body over yours with his powerful arms and shoulders balancing his weight so that he wouldn’t hurt you, but kept you facing each other so that he could watch you as you began to get closer and closer to your release, as your body shuttered underneath him as his knot began to swell and catch at your entrance, forcing thrust to turn into deep rutting push and pull that only served to push you both over the edge you had been teetering on.

Even as his teeth sank deep into your mating gland, connecting you to him at your very soul, you had no regrets except that you had waited this long to figure out what had always been there, and had always been missing.

Dean flipped the two of you carefully to your sides as you waited until his knot had gone down, playing with your hair, and licking lightly at your claiming mark, while you tried to catch your breath, letting the bond cement itself as it only could between an Alpha, and his Omega. Suddenly, all the things you had always feared, a life, a family, didn’t seem so scary. Not as long as Dean was there with you each step of the way.

Forever Tags: @deanwanddamons @rvgrsbrns @chevyharvelle @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @lyss-dw79 @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624 @busy-bee-angel-misska @justanotherwinchester @brilovesdeanwinchester @idksupernatural @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl @love-jackles-37-blog @miraclesoflove @Waywardsistershy @emoryhemsworth @dean-winchesters-gardian-angel @softsebastian @tatted-trina6 @deanmonandnegansbitch @hayleeharling @flamencodiva @coldmuffinbanditshoe @bxbyizzy @dirty-pan-goblin @itmejado @supernatural3002 @teresa-67 @thoughts-and-funnies @hearteyes-j2 @miss-nerd95 @writers-whirlwind

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester smut #dean x reader #dean x you #alpha!dean winchester #alpha!dean x Omega!reader #alpha!dean winchester x omega!reader #abo #abo fanfic #omega!reader #x reader inserts #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn fandom #jawritter #an alpha and his omega

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duskholland · 4 years ago

Text

As You Are | Mob!Tom Holland

summary ↠ who could’ve known showing up to work late one night would put you in touch with a mysterious stranger, capable of turning your life upside down?

word count ↠ 6.8k

warnings ↠ mature themes, drinking, cursing, gambling + mentions of violence

a/n ↠ I don’t know how this ended up being so long honestly. I had a blast writing it and I really hope that people read it lol. anyway! this is part of my mob!Tom series -- a collection of oneshots set within the same universe. you don’t need to read the other parts for this to make sense.

mob!Tom masterlist | general masterlist

You’re late. Fuck, you’re running so late.

Your tight, shiny stilettos rub the corners of your toes uncomfortably as you hurry off the bus, ignoring the stares of the passengers. You push your handbag further up your arm and start to run precariously down the cobbled London streets, your heart pounding harshly in your chest. As you pass the entrances to some of the most exclusive clubs in Soho, you find yourself blending into the crowd. All around you are London’s elite, dressed in expensive coats, rich cologne, and enough glinting diamonds to burn your eyes, and they don’t spare you a second look as you reach the end of the street, taking your tall heels and short skirt as standard.

Relief replaces your anxiety as you pull off at the corner and slip around the back of the largest club of them all: The Lotus Club. You whip out your ID and flash it at the looming security guard on the door, and a moment later you’re in.

Immediately you’re met with backstage: an eclectic mix of cheap hairspray, curling irons, and half-naked girls. You move past a group of feathered dancers and find your locker quickly, ditching your bag and clocking in as you curse yourself for falling asleep earlier in the night. You’ve been working here for three years and you never used to be late, but these days, it’s as if you’ve been pushing it closer and closer to the wire each time you stumble in for your shift.

“You’re late,” comes a loud, stern voice. You freeze, your fingers half-way through pulling off the lid of a deep velvety red lipstick, and you glance at the mirror on your locker door to see your boss standing behind you, arms crossed. Loretta’s a ripped, forty-year-old woman with so many tattoos you think she must be immune to pain. Her eyes are stormy and grey as you hesitantly turn to face her, wincing a smile. “I’ve checked the data for the last month. You’ve been late 12 times, Y/N.” Her face pulls into a disappointed frown. “I’ve always liked you and you’ve never let me down before, but I need staff that I can rely on.”

Instantly you feel cold dread pool in your stomach. “Loretta, look, I’m really sorry, but it’s been a hectic month. I- I’ll try harder, okay? I’m sorry.” And you don’t want to grovel, but this job is all you have. Waiting the tables in this exclusive Soho Club is the only way you can afford to keep your flat, and without that, you have nothing. “Please don’t fire me.”

She holds your gaze for a long, hard minute. Your body feels tight with angst, your fingers shaking around the lipstick. “I’ll give you one more chance,” she says finally. “You’ll need to wait the private booths tonight, though.” When you open your mouth to complain, she laughs lowly. “Oi, none of that. I know you hate it, but if you’re late in, you don’t get a say in where I assign you. Got it?”

With a bite of your lower lip, you nod your head dejectedly. “Alright. Thanks Loretta. I won’t let you down.”

“You better not.” And then she turns and walks away, no doubt on her way to harass some of the other workers, and you turn around to finish your makeup.

The Lotus Club is a boujee blend of bar, nightclub and casino, equipped with a whole secluded wing through the back for private dances. Like the rest of the street, it attracts the highest of the high - rich, snobby businesspeople and socialites who enjoy getting off by flaunting their power and riches. You’re yet to meet anyone who isn’t a complete and utter snob.

The private booths perfectly encapsulate the worst parts of the club: they’re secluded and shady, which means they’re a hub for illegal and underhand exchanges, and they cost a leg and a half to rent out. If you think the customers you’d find in the main foyer of the club were spoilt, the inhabitants in the booths can only be described as the richest assholes London can muster.

You stare at yourself in your locker’s mirror, red lips sagging into an irritated pout. Your frown remains as you fluff up your hair for a final time and shut your locker abruptly. Your black skirt clings to your legs as you walk out into the front of house, the air clearing the moment you’re in the public sphere of the club.

It’s a very exclusive and elitist place, and the decor of the club indicates that exactly: large, glistening chandeliers dangle in every room, a rich red carpet curves across the halls, and there’s the controlled sound of restrained music drifting through large speakers. Each section of the club has a different vibe to it, and as you walk through the casino and into the section with the private booths, the tone shifts. The booths themselves are tucked behind a large curtain, and as you walk through, the lights grow dimmer and the sweet, husky scent of marijuana fills the air.

You find the supervising manager first - a small, unassuming man called Rob. He discreetly points at a circular table in the corner of the section. “That table over there,” he says. You squint your eyes and stare, making out the outline of a few young men. Curiosity replaces your irritation as you realise they look about as old as you. “You take them, yeah?”

You give him a nod. “Who are they?”

Rob shrugs. “No idea. Think it’s their first time.” He raises an eyebrow suggestively. “Make a good impression.”

You roll your eyes as you move away from him, flexing out your fingers as you walk towards the table. This is the VIP section, which means each booth gets a dedicated waitress - aka, you. You just hope the guys you’ll be serving are decent, because if they aren’t, it’ll be a long, long night.

You draw their attention easily, one of the side effects of being one of the few women in the room. Their gazes fall on you before you’re even at the table, and you suck in a quick, steadying breath as you manage a smile. “Good evening, gentlemen. I’m Y/N and I’ll be your server tonight. You ever been here before?”

Your eyes drift around the circular table as you wait on a response, taking in the men now you’re near enough to make them out. There are four of them: all looking young, but the number of tailored suits and watches attached to them screams wealth in a way you can’t ignore. To the left, two guys, both brunette and very similar - twins? To the right, a blond with dizzying blue eyes. And in the centre, a man, clearly the leader, with his arms thrown over the back of the booth. He’s in a crisp white shirt, a suit jacket lying crumpled on the seat beside him, and his golden brown eyes seem to linger on you for a moment too long as you wait on a response. The way he looks at you brings a warmth to your cheeks, the smile fixed on your face threatening to falter as you decide that he’s utterly delicious.

“Never been before, love.” Finally someone speaks, and it’s the blond. His lips twist into a slow smile. “Nice place you’ve got.”

You hum, returning his stare confidently. “It’s nice back here,” you agree. Then you reach down and pull a small, flat device from your pocket. You lean down and slide it into the centre of the table, making brief eye contact with the man in the centre as you pull yourself back up, a thrill of excitement cracking down your spine as you catch him staring at you. “That’s my pager. If you need me, just press the button and I’ll be here. Can I get you any drinks?”

They rattle off a list of drinks and you nod along, quickly memorising the drinks and faces, matching them with personalities. The guy in the centre goes for a Corona, speaking in a voice that’s just a little too perfect, and as you walk away towards the bar, you find yourself wondering why they’re all here. The private booths are the ideal location for illegal activities to occur, yet you couldn’t see any drugs on them, and none of them seem to have turned up with any documents or briefcases. They aren’t the usual age, either, and they all seem far too friendly to fit the normal typecast of the customers you’d find in the club. They’d smiled at you as you’d taken their orders, none of them looking at you through heady, lusting eyes - not even the man in the centre with the firm, brown gaze had let his stare slip away from your face. They feel like a breath of fresh air hidden away in an extremely stuffy room, and you can’t help but regard them fondly.

When you return to the table with a tray laden with drinks, you’re quick to distribute the bottles and glasses. The men are having a very loud and animated conversation, apparently at the expense of one of the twins, whose freckly face is burning a deep, embarrassed red. You’re in and out in a second, but in the moment you’re leaning across the table to put down a glass, the brunette in the centre meets your gaze again, his thin lips pulling up into a semblance of a smirk. “Thanks, love,” he whispers, tilting the glass towards you as you tuck the tray beneath your arm and step back.

“No problem. Let me know if you need anything else,” you say, nodding at the pager on the table. He glances to the device quickly, before looking back at you, eyes lingering on the curve of your painted lower lip.

“Will do.”

You breeze away from them, your heart rattling against your ribcage as you walk to the back corner and slip into easy conversation with some of the other girls.

Your table get a few more rounds of drinks over the course of the night. Each time you’re there within seconds of the buzzer going off, always with an eager smile on your face. One bonus to the private booths is that the people who rent them out tend to have such a surplus of wealth that the tips are huge, and you’d really like to have the extra cash. So maybe you smile a little wider than usual, and do your best to crack jokes and play along as you talk with the group, but it’s all part of the job, and all part of what’s expected from you. You’re sure the fact that the man in the centre gets your heart racing a little faster than normal has nothing to do with it.

It’s a little after 1am when you’re paged back to the circular table in the corner, the buzzing in your pocket causing you to stifle a yawn. With a start, you walk back to them, your tired feet clacking across the smooth marbled floor. As you draw closer, you realise that there’s only one man there, and with a start, you realise it’s the leader.

“Hi,” you say, smiling nervously. “Friends abandoned you?”

The man shakes his head, the tips of his wavy brown hair shifting delicately. “Gone to the casino,” he explains. He pats the open booth beside him questioningly. “Do you want to sit?” You ponder it for half a second. His voice is open and warm, and it lacks the air of expectation that you’d usually find when patrons ask you a similar question. With a small smile on your face, you sit down beside him. “It’s Y/N, yeah?”

You nod slowly, your bare legs feeling warm against the leather booth. The man is still settled in the centre of the semi-circle, but he slides a little closer to you as you begin to talk, one of his arms hanging over the side of the booth, inviting you closer.

“Yeah, that’s me,” you reply softly. “Are you going to tell me your name, or is that a mystery too?”

The man quirks an eyebrow, and for the first time you notice how endearing his face is. It’s hard, with deep lines crossing his forehead and his cheeks, but when he smiles, the angst fades away, leaving him with a gentle softness about him. His nose is slightly crooked and his lips are thin and lopsided, but he’s undeniably handsome.

“I’m a mystery?” He asks, amused.

“No one’s seen any of you around before,” you say, picking your words carefully. “Normally we get regulars in the VIP section.” You shrug lightly. “I’m just curious.”

“Well, it’s our first time coming here,” he tells you. Then he picks up his hand and offers it to you. “I’m Tom, darling.”

You take his outstretched hand and your smile widens as he takes your fingers into a strong grip. “Nice to meet you, Tom.”

“The pleasure is all mine.”

[-----]

You talk with Tom easily, gradually unearthing a few details about the man. He doesn’t give much away, but you gather that he and his brothers own a few businesses around London and they’d come to your club tonight to scout out the competition.

“Can I get you a drink, love?” He asks, about ten minutes into conversation.

You’ve got a relaxed smile on your face as you nod in agreement. “That would be nice,” you tell him. “I can go and get it, though.” You begin to stand, only to feel him reach out and take your hand, his digits loosely brushing up against yours as you meet his sparkly golden eyes.

“No, stay here,” he says, his voice soft. His eyes shift towards the bar and you watch as he catches the gaze of one of the other servers. She walks over to you and takes your order with a jealous grimace on her face, and you find yourself shifting a little closer to Tom as you sit back down.

“So...” You let your lips quirk into a coy smile. “What kinds of things does a man like you enjoy doing?”

Tom hums softly, his hand going to rest on your knee. The tips of his calloused fingertips draw small shapes and circles over your skin, his touch setting off warm fireworks. “I like golf,” he says, laughing quietly as you grimace. “It’s more interesting to play than it is to watch.”

“I’d sure hope so,” you joke. “I don’t think it’s really my thing.”

“Well, what is your thing?” You watch intently as Tom flicks his pink tongue out across his lower lip. Your breath hitches as you realise he’s flirting with you, and you’ve overcome with a strong urge to reciprocate.

“I like painting,” you admit. “Someday I’m going to quit my job here and open up an art gallery.” You reach up slowly, resting the flat hand on his shoulder as the tips of your fingers play around with his soft hair. “Would you be my model, one day?”

Tom brings his other hand to your waist, testing the waters. When you only drift closer to him, he holds your side more firmly, his long, nimble fingers slowly wrapping around you. His touch is intoxicating.

“I’d be flattered to be your model, darling,” he tells you, eyes sparkling with something between lust and admiration.

As the night draws on, you find yourself inching closer and closer to him, his body heat attracting you like a moth to a flame. His eyes sparkle brightly, shades of golden browns appealing to you easily, and you can’t stop yourself from shamelessly flirting with him, your heart pounding each time he returns it just as thickly.

But you’re not completely blinded by lust. Over the course of your conversation, you pick up on a few unsaid details. First and foremost: Tom has a holster strapped to his belt, and whilst it’s empty, its presence is enough to have your guard up. You know there’s probably a hundred armed men out in the casino, but the sight of it makes you uneasy. Tom’s nice, and maybe a part of you had considered clocking out and leaving with him, but that - and the fact that you can see a pair of brass knuckledusters hanging out of his suit pocket - is enough to sour that idea.

It really is a shame. He’s nothing but charming, in a very sweet, romantic way, and if the circumstances were different, you’d want him in a heartbeat.

By the time Tom’s friends return from the Casino, stacks of cash in hand, you’re practically on top of him. Somewhere between the second and the third beer, he’d pulled you nearer, and now you have your head pressed against his outstretched arm as you sit lazily in his lap, your voice dying halfway through your anecdote as the presence of Tom’s associates disturb your conversation.

“How much?” Tom calls out, his eyes moving away from your face for the first time in an hour. You watch as his pupils dilate, swallowing the golden flecks of his irises as he stares at the rolls of cash greedily.

“50k.” The blond...Harrison, you think, says. “We should come back more often.” His blue eyes twinkle knowingly as he takes in the way you’re spread over Tom. “You ready to go, mate?”

You feel Tom shift beneath you, a hand going to sit on your waist as he hums. “Go settle the tab, yeah? I’ll be over in a minute.”

Harrison nods, and you watch as the group approach the bar and begin to sift through the rolls of cash. Clearing your throat, you stretch out your arm and move out of Tom’s lap, distancing yourself from him as you give him a coy smile.

“Well… I guess it’s goodnight, Tom,” you say, watching him carefully. His eyebrows furrow together slightly as an expression of intrigue passes over his face.

“Don’t suppose you’d want to come home with me, love?” He asks, voice honest and open. He reaches down and takes one of your hands in his, his calloused thumb passing over the back of your knuckles. The touch makes you bite your lower lip, and for a brief moment, you find yourself wishing you could.

“Sorry,” you say instead, ignoring the way a part of you wants to explore the man further. You’ve seen the holster and the knuckledusters. “I don’t know you.”

Surprise replaces his intrigue, but Tom remains looking at you fondly. He nods his head, holding your gaze as he brings your hand to his mouth, pressing his intoxicating lips to the back of your hand and kissing your skin softly. “I’ll see you around then, darling,” he mumbles, finally releasing your hand as he presses it back to your lap. He stands up and shimmies out of the booth, tossing his suit jacket over his shoulder as he goes. “It was lovely spending the evening with you, Y/N.”

Your smile is soft, genuine. “You too, Tom. Have a nice night.”

He raises his hand in a brief wave, and then turns, meeting with his friends by the door. They leave together, and you take a moment to sit against the back of the booth, breathing heavily through your mouth as your thoughts run rampant through your mind.

Everything about Tom feels to be a juxtaposition. His suit was expensive and he left the casino £50,000 richer, yet his shoes were scruffy and his watch looked old and worn. He’s clearly used to control, but he was perfectly content with you setting the lines and the limits. He has an obvious affinity for the darker arts, but his touch was always kind and gentle. Tom is a perfect paradox, and you can’t help but keep him in your thoughts as you begin to clear away the dirty glasses, your smile remaining on your lips for the rest of the night.

[-----]

When you come in for your shift a few days later, you’re called into Loretta’s office immediately. Dread and anticipation hang heavy in your stomach as you nervously push open her door, hoping with every part of you that she hasn’t called you in to fire you. You’re left utterly perplexed as the tall woman greets you with a long, tight hug.

“Y/N, my darling!” She exclaims, releasing you and gesturing down at a chair. You slip into it apprehensively as she walks around to sit behind her desk, her eyes bright and excited. “You’ve got a tip.”

Your eyes widen. “A tip?” You echo, voice uncertain. Normally the tips would be added to your pay-check at the end of the month, no further comment needed. The way she’s staring at you like you’re a celebrity makes you nervous.

“Someone left an anonymous tip for you,” she says, voice high. “I’ve already deducted the club’s percentage.” Loretta passes you a bulging envelope. “It leaves you with just under £5,000.”

Your jaw drops.

“What… The fuck,” you manage, eyes bulging as you tear open the envelope and run your thumb through the thick stack of cash. “Who?”

Your boss shrugs. “Anonymous,” she repeats. “Just thought you’d appreciate the heads up. I’ll keep it out of the books, as long as you don’t mention this to anyone.” Her voice is low, and you nod quickly, knowing that she’s doing you both a favour: the club takes a cut of all tips received, and you know that you’ll both come out better if the tax office doesn’t learn of your bonus.

“Thank you,” you say, flabbergasted. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say nothing,” she advises. “Just take it.” As you rise to your feet and slip the envelope into your bag, she adds, “You can go back to serving the bar, as usual. I’ll get Monica to cover the private booths.”

“Thanks,” you say again, your voice soft and shaken. She bids you goodbye as you walk back to the lockers, your eyes wide and your mind scrambled.

You want to assume it’s Tom who’s left the tip. You don’t think you’ve made a big enough impression on anyone else recently to be rewarded this generously. It baffles you, because you hadn’t ever expected this, but then you find yourself warming to the idea. You’d gotten on well with Tom, and maybe a small part of you has been regretting denying him, and this… Well, this act of generosity would suggest that he’s still thinking about you, and that’s a very nice thought.

You begin your shift with a wide smile on your face, knowing your rent is taken care of for the next few months. It puts a lightness in your step, and you find yourself winning over all the patrons you come into contact with, your wallet growing heavier and heavier as the night draws by. A few times, you find yourself gazing around the bar, looking for Tom, expecting to see him, but not feeling surprised when you don’t. He’d told you himself that he was only in the club to scout out a rival business - why would he return after gathering his reconnaissance?

He doesn’t turn up that night. Or the next. Or even the next. You have to wait another week before you see another sign of him, and even then, it’s not actually him.

You’re clearing away a table when you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around to see Harrison standing there, a black suit pulled around him so perfectly that he looks like a model and it takes your breath away for a second.

“Y/N?” He asks, voice clear and bright. You give him a nod, your eyebrows pulling up into confusion as he procures a red rose and passes it to you. “I’m Harrison, Tom’s mate. We met the other night.”

You twirl the stem between your fingers, glancing between the delicate petals and Harrison’s watchful face. “Yeah, I remember.”

He nods his head at the rose. “Tom wanted you to have that. He also wanted to know if you’d gotten his gift?”

The thorns on the rose nick your finger and you curse softly, bringing your thumb to your mouth and sucking away the small drop of blood. Harrison watches you intently, his eyes twinkling as he holds back a laugh.

“You mean the tip?” You ask after a moment, pulling your hand away from your face. You cross your arms over your chest as you stare the man down. “You do know that was an obscene amount of money, right?”

Harrison chuckles, running a hand through his blond curls. “I know,” he agrees. “Tom wouldn’t hear anything else. Apparently you made quite the impression.” His eyes sweep across you briefly. “He wanted to know if you’d join him for a date tomorrow night.”

You hum, your eyebrow raising slightly. “And why are you here asking me out, instead of him?”

Harrison’s eyes widen at your controlled tone, his cheeks tinting with a rosy blush. “He’s busy.”

You laugh quietly, shaking your head. “Well, you can tell Tom that I appreciate the gesture, but if he wants to take me on a date, he needs to come down here and ask me himself.” Acting on impulse, you pass Harrison back the rose, your eyes dancing mischievously.

Harrison looks a little taken aback, but he nods slowly and looks at you with a shade of respect in his gaze. “I will pass on the message.”

“Thanks, Harrison.” You turn back to the table you’re clearing and you watch from the corner of your eye as he turns and walks away, leaving the club with the rose in his hands.

Your heart hammers in your chest, as part of you can’t believe you’ve just turned him down so boldly. But you know it’s for the best, because men like Tom can be dangerous, and if he thinks he can get away with anything, then that’s not the kind of person you want to see. You decide that if he can swallow his pride and show up to see you himself, then you’ll be happy to lean into him, but you won’t fall at his feet just because he’s flashed some cash. If he doesn’t respond to your demands, at least you’ll come out richer for it. But a part of you thinks you’ve got him nailed down, and you have the feeling he thrives on games like these, and so you return to the club the next night expecting to see him, and you’re not surprised when you do.

Tom’s leaning up against the bar, talking with one of the strippers amicably. The feathers coming out of her plumed headband fall onto his forehead as they laugh closely together, and an irrational stab of jealousy twists up through your insides as you watch them. It’s ridiculous, and you quickly swallow it back, but as Tom meets your eyes from across the room, you know he’s seen the envy in your eyes. His thin lips pull into a smirk and he beckons you over, your legs moving of their own accord.

As you get to Tom, he leans down and whispers something in the woman’s ear. You watch as her expression falls, and then she pulls away from Tom to circle the room in search of another visitor. He greets you by opening his arms, and you pause for a moment before sinking into them, his fingers finding your waist as your head goes to the crook of his neck, finding home briefly in his warmth and the rich scent of his powerful cologne. As you pull back, one of his hands goes back to his side, but the other finds your face for a moment, holding you softly as his lips brush over your cheek. You have to bite back a smile as he mumbles a quiet, “Evening, love,” not wanting him to see how utterly giddy it makes you feel to have him so close again.

“Hi, Tom,” you reply, your head clearing up as he finally drops contact with your skin. Your eyes drift over his familiar face, taking in the details of his handsome features. “Looking for a stripper, eh?”

“Not unless she’s called Y/N,” he replies, voice controlled but suggestive. You chuckle quietly, your face heating a little as you grow slightly bashful.

“Smooth,” you comment. “You gonna buy me a drink?”

“Whatever you want,” he promises. His eyes sweep over the room. “You’re not working?”

You shrug as you slip up at the bar, Tom settling on the stool beside you. One of his hands goes to rest on your knee, the contact firm and grounding, and it makes your body fill with a subtle, thrumming heat. “I am, technically,” you say. “But it’s my job to entertain the guests,” you shift your gaze to his suggestively, “and I’d say you’re in need of a little fun.”

“You’re definitely right there, darling.”

You drink a few rounds with Tom, treating yourself to some of the bar’s most expensive wine because he’s already given them his card and you free rein over the drinks menu. Any reluctance you feel to exploit his kindness disappears as you remember how easily he’d left the casino up £50k the other night, and as you slowly grow lighter and your bloodstream more diluted, you find yourself loosening up. Tom does too, and as you talk about any and everything, his hair becomes messier as his cheeks flush. Your knees touch and sometimes your shoulders brush, and it’s like the rest of the world burns away until it’s just you, and him, laughing, talking, feeling, and it’s so natural that you almost forget that you come from two different worlds.

But then Tom shifts on the stool, and your eyes catch his empty holster, and you’re slammed back to earth, your mood shifting. He picks up on it immediately, his eyebrows furrowing as he reaches out and picks up your hand, playing with your fingers softly. “You alright there, love?”

You hum. “What do you want from me, Tom?” You ask after a moment, voice unassuming.

“What do you mean?”

You give him a coy smile. “You know what I mean,” you tease. “Chatting with me, leaving me thousands of pounds, getting your friend to ask me out… Even being here tonight. What do you want?” And your voice is open and honest, and Tom ponders it for a few moments before squeezing your hand.

“You intrigue me, Y/N,” he admits. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the night we met… I don’t know why, or what I want from you, but I guess, I’d quite like to know, what do you want from me?”

“Oh, no, you don’t get to turn this on me.”

“Why not? I’m definitely allowed to do that.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re sneaky, Tom,” you mumble. “If I’m being honest, part of me thought you’d show up tonight and expect me to leave with you. Because, y’know, the money.” He opens his mouth to argue, but you raise an eyebrow and he pauses. “I don’t think you’re that kind of guy, though. Are you?”

He shakes his head quickly. “I’m not a dick.”

“Arrogant, sometimes?”

“Yeah.”

“A bit egotistical?”

“Well, uh, I guess you could say that.”

“Dominating?”

Tom’s eyes shift a shade darker as he nods. “You like to talk,” he comments, bringing a smile to your face.

“I can leave you to your thoughts, if you’d prefer that,” you tease. He tightens his grip on your hand, and for the first time you look down at his fingers and notice that his knuckles are bruised and bloodied. “Shit, what happened here?” You bring his hands nearer your face, gently grazing your touch over the curves of his cut knuckles. He winces but he lets you inspect the injuries.

“Nothing,” he mutters. When you tighten your gaze, he shrugs haplessly. “Got in a fight. No big deal.”

“Yeah, right.” You rise from the stool, dragging him with you. You’re about to turn and pull him across the room when you hesitate. “Are you packing?” He looks surprised by the question, so you add, “I won’t take you backstage if you’re dangerous.”

“I’ve not got a gun on me,” he says, dodging half the question but it’s good enough for you. You lead him out, through the bar, past the casino, and you pull him through a large door that says Staff Only and take him back to one of the locker rooms. It’s peak time so the room is quiet, and you sit him down on a bench as you grab a clean cloth from beside the sink and run it under some warm water.

“If you don’t take care of your injuries, they’ll scar,” you tell him as you dab at his knuckles. Tom’s gaze burns into your cheek as you wash away the dried blood, exposing the deep colours of fresh bruises just below. You glance up at him, your breath hitching in your throat as you meet his stare, his eyes dancing with a thousand different words. “Who’d look after you if I wasn’t here, huh?” You walk across the room before returning with a cotton pad soaked in disinfectant. “This might hurt,” you warn, but Tom doesn’t even flinch as you drag the pad over his cracked skin. You throw the pad into the bin and then settle in front of him, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare at him questioningly.

“Come sit,” he says finally, his voice more laboured than before. He spreads his legs a little and pats at his lap, and without hesitation you step forward and straddle him. You have to shift around until you’re comfortable, but you manage to stretch your legs out behind him on the bench and his hands go to anchor your hips in place. Your faces are really close now, and he easily brings a hand up to settle on your cheek, the tips of his fingers resting on your cheekbones. “You’re unbelievable, you know that, love?”

You smile slightly. “What do you mean?”

“You’re just…” He breaks off, sighing comically. “So fucking perfect.” The compliment draws your smile into a large grin as you chuckle softly.

“Perfect, eh?” You tease, running a hand over his shoulder. You rest it at the nape of his neck, your fingers playing with the tips of his hair. “I don’t think perfect exists.”

“It does,” he says immediately.

“Maybe.” Acting boldly, you lean in and press a soft kiss to his jaw, admiring the sharp line with your mouth as he sighs beneath you. “You’re a dangerous man, aren’t you?” You say, finishing your trail of kisses at his ear. You let your breath fan out across his skin for a moment before pressing a final kiss to his earlobe, feeling his body tense beneath you.

“Yeah,” he admits.

You pull yourself back to face him, your eyebrow arched. “Will you keep me safe?” You ask. It hangs heavy in the air, a multitude of layers hidden away behind the few words.

Tom nods, a hand drawing up to find home in your hair. His fingers bury in the strands and he uses his leverage to draw you nearer until your noses are touching, his cold skin pressing to yours in the most delicate way.

“I will always protect you,” he promises, voice serious.

Your lips quirk into a slight smile. “Kiss me,” you ask.

His mouth is on yours in an instant, lips chapped but warm as they slide over yours. It’s soft, for a moment, but then you grip his hair and pull him nearer and it grows stronger. Passion flows between you as you cling to him, his mouth hot and luxurious and it draws a heat between your legs as you feel his teeth catch at your lower lip. When you part your lips and grant him access, his tongue dances with yours and you moan into his mouth, every inch of you aching for him, burning with desire to keep him here. His hand in your hair holds you close as the other wanders over your side, caressing your figure softly but warmly, and you turn to butter in his hold, kissing, and kissing, and kissing, until your lips are numb and your lungs burn. When you pull away, he presses his forehead against yours, his eyes pulling open just enough to make brief contact with yours. He looks softer now, less anxious, more in control.

“I wish I could do that forever,” he admits. Both hands find your waist, holding you comfortably as he smirks at you. “You’re something else.”

You shrug slightly, pulling at the collar of his shirt. “I could say the same about you, Tom,” you tease, eyeing him carefully. “You gonna come back again tomorrow?”

He raises a scruffy eyebrow. “You want me to come back tomorrow?”

Your lips split into a wide smile. “Yeah,” you admit. “Maybe the day after that, too. If you want.”

“I’ll be here,” he promises. “I’ll be here for as long as you want me to be.”

You kiss him again, softer. His lips are warm and they already feel a little bit like home. You realise that he’s got you, both physically, because his fingers grip your waist so strongly, but also emotionally, because you look into the depths of his warm, mysterious eyes, and you realise you don’t want to forget what they look like.

“I might want you around for a long time. Is that a problem?”

Tom shakes his head, body relaxing. He kisses you. “Not a problem at all,” he confirms. “I feel like… I feel like you might change my life, love.”

You laugh quietly, rolling your eyes. “Who knew you’d be such a sap,” you tease. Tom frowns, his grip on your waist tightening, and you swallow deeply as he steadies you. “I’m kidding. Relax.” You kiss him again, quickly.

“You think you can just distract me with kisses?” He says, voice confident. You nod your head arrogantly.

“Oh, yeah,” you confirm. “I think you’re the kind of person who will be very easy to distract.” To prove your point, you take a long moment to grind your hips down, feeling the hard presence of his erection pressing up against your covered core. You giggle and your head falls to the crook of his neck, and Tom’s hands rub over your back as he holds you close.

“You’re a minx,” he says. “Such a tease.”

“I’m a lot of things,” you whisper against his neck. You feel his lips brush over the top of your head and let him hold you, close, gripping you tightly, and it feels like you’ve known him for infinity already.

“I’m excited to figure you out, Y/N.”

You tilt your head and run a line of brief kisses up his neck until eventually finding his lips, seizing them in a short peck. “Me too, Tom,” you admit. “I feel like you’re gonna be really special to me,” you say, the words slipping out before you can stop them.

“Oh, so who’s the sap now, huh?” He teases, drawing your smile wider.

“Shut up,” you say.

“Make me.”

And then, quite simply, you’re back to kissing, and you know he’s dangerous, and you know he’s powerful, but his touch on your waist is gentle and he’s kissing you so slowly and softly that none of that really matters. It doesn’t matter that you don’t entirely know who he is, because there’s a connection tethering your soul to his, and you can feel it - even if it’s only been a few days. It’s a type of connection that you’ve never felt before, and it thrills you, but it also terrifies you. Because you know that the man beneath you holds the keys to the world, but it comes at a cost, and you’re not sure you can afford the price if it all falls apart.

But fuck it. He’s kissing you, and it’s perfect, and you crave to stay like this forever, curled up in his lap like this. So what if the world burns? You’re perfectly happy exactly where you are, Tom’s hands on your hips, your mouths moving in sync. And as he holds you close, you know there’s nowhere else your heart would be safer than tucked up here with him.

#tom holland #Tom Holland oneshot #Tom Holland x reader #mob!tom holland #mob!tom #Tom Holland x y/n #self insert #self-insert #y/n #y/n use #my writing #mm #:D #mob!tomfic

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ddaenghoney · 3 years ago

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Series: Flora

Part 24

masterlist link in blog description

After spending more than a decade establishing a career as an acclaimed actress, you decide to go on a sudden hiatus while also discreetly moving to a new townhome, renting out the second room to your old friend from high school: Kim Taehyung

Pairing(s):

Kim Taehyung x Y/N

ft. Lim Jaebeom x Y/N

disclaimer: any character depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respective idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Social media/Fake Text AU, Roommates au, somewhat Slow Burn relationship (or is it more oblivious to lovers ?), Actress!Y/N, Flower shop owner and model!Taehyung, fluff, drama(bc it’s me), romance, angst (updated as needed)

Necessary story written piece beneath the cut!

wc: 4017

Chapter warning(s): Heavy themes of loneliness and quite a bit of angst. Emotional breakdown by means of a lot of crying and a small moment of nearly hyperventilating. Optimistic ending.

You look down at the ended conversation displayed on your phone, thumbs hovering over the device but you know you have nothing more to say. Sighing, you let it fall to your phone and glance your head out at the grey outside that the car travels through. The clouds took a break from the constant showers that covered the city, but you do not doubt they will continue again, probably the second you step out of the vehicle.

“You can just take me home instead of stopping by that food place.” You speak up to your manager’s assistant who has recently been driving you around for scheduled activities. When Manager Yang is not able to attend things with you, the assistant is definitely there instead. You wager to make sure you don’t do anything more to grind the nerves of the company, but you never have asked the question directly.

“Are you sure? The weather doesn’t seem as bad as a few minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I have some leftovers at home I’ll eat instead.” The explanation exists only to pacify his confusion, because after that conversation you really have no interest in eating anytime soon. Without conviction your eyes search between passing buildings for signs of the sun breaking through any of the clouds, but as you expected there is no such light. If there had been any hope of the storm ending, the production team would not have called off shooting for today.

You don’t mind the weather for that fact, but at the same time it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth that you can only rely on unruly weather to give you a dent of the day back to yourself. If you try to think about how long it’s been this way, your mind would skim back years and years. Early on when you were still in high school and quickly garnering all of the roles in films you could, you didn’t mind the workload at all. Everything was still new, and admittedly going through that part of your life with fame attached to it felt like a grandiose thing.

The glittering of it all wore off a while ago, and letting your head fall back against your seat cushion, you realize just how exhausting it all is. But what else is there?

“Thanks for the ride.” You wave to the assistant as you exit the vehicle in front of the small gate that surrounds the townhome. Your company may know the address somehow, but you certainly are not willing to give out the gate code, much less a key, so you get out on the curbside. You’re relieved when he doesn’t loiter to make sure you get in safely, because the sooner you can stop thinking about everything the sooner you can have a semblance of a clear head.

To your surprise the rain comes again after you’re under the cover of your entryway instead of starting to pour directly on your head. Standing there for a moment, you watch the droplets fall in a humid frenzy that is familiar for this time of the year. This odd hour of the day is much earlier than people head home from jobs, so the neighborhood is quiet with inactivity, only seeming to be populated by you and the millions of droplets that see only a moment of you before they’re gone from your sight into puddles on the ground.

You stretch out your arm to breach into the shower, feeling the water collide with your skin as you continue watching the spectacle of it all. Almost, you’re able to enjoy it completely; take in the beauty of nature, and the serenity of your tiny front yard that’s enclosed in its own bubble. But as your eyes scan the area, your arm tenses when you catch the well-tended to flower beds that line the front gate.

You remember everything you wish is not reality.

Pulling your arm back, you turn on your heel and type the code to your door, entering in haste. The lights inside are off, and the space is quiet, almost without the sound of the showers outside. Without consideration you simply allow your bag to fall beside you on the floor while you flick your shoes haphazardly in the same general direction. It’s not unusual for no one to be home in the middle of the day, but as you step deeper the space feels uncharacteristically empty.

Miscellaneous items are decorated in their little mess around the area, but they’re all your own things that clutter. In your moment of recollection, you glance back to the front door as you realize you didn’t trip over any of Taehyung’s shoes on the way inside. Your lips part at the knowledge and your hand clutches against your top as you turn to walk into the kitchen.

Your line of sight wanders over the countertops, then to the small table beside the door out to the back, but you find nothing. You turn back and stalk into the living room once more, eyes searching quickly to the coffee table, then end tables-- any surface of space you could.

In that instant of finding nothing your eyelids grow hot, and your throat hitches, but you hold back any noise by biting your lip. You don’t have the right to be this upset if he’s already gone without a word of goodbye. You made your choices-- you’re living the consequences.

Air nonetheless escapes your mouth in a high, choppy gasp. You thought there would be more time than the four days it's been since you told him he should leave, since you typed all of those things you didn’t mean and left tears all over your phone screen. You shake your head, forcing everything back again, because you don’t have the right to feel upset about this. You don’t, and you keep repeating that to yourself, but what difference would it make if you started bawling about it here anyways?

You put your hand to your face, rubbing your eyes to stop tears from beginning, but when the sentence plays in your head you’re unable to stop them when you inevitably mumble to yourself,

“I’m all alone now.”

Only a couple escape your ducts, before you take in a deep inhale and remind yourself that this is for the best. If Taehyung has nothing to do with you, then his reputation will not be bothered further, his flower shop won’t run the risk of being singled out on a gossip form, and his life will continue in its peaceful path just like he wants.

You rub the tears from the corner of your eyes, finding sight of his mug in its usual spot beside the couch. As you take a step towards it, your eyebrows knit wondering if he forgot it but you find a beverage still within it, though mostly gone.

The front door’s entry alert causes your shoulders to jolt in surprise, and your body to turn as it opens wide to let the melody of the rain flood your ears once more. From the cloudy outside that’s a lighter blue than the inside of your house, Taehyung’s figure seems enveloped by a dull brightness.

The hollow feeling in your chest fills with the thrum of your heartbeat. You watch as his lips pout while he looks down at your discarded items, then his head lifts up upon the recognition, startling with a sound of surprise when he sees you.

“I didn’t know you were home,” His words stumble out while his hand searches on the wall and successfully presses on the light switch. “What are you doing?” He asks, frowning in confusion of the certainly odd situation he wandered into.

Taehyung knows that you are not the most organized person on the planet, but your shoes finding their way to the designated closet is the example for him that he never manages to follow. So to see them in a mess on the floor beside your bag, Taehyung thought the placement to be abnormal and maybe somewhere in the back of his mind before he looked up he even felt worry.

“Ah, I just,” You start in a small voice, before dipping your head away from his view. Taehyung takes notice of the aversion, then latches onto the remembrance of your last text conversation. “I got off work because of the weather, so I’m here. Forgot to turn the lights on.”

“I see.” He responds simply, with the slightest nod of his head. Taehyung slips off his shoes finally, and enters deeper into the house, trying his best not to let questions in his head breed into a field that will be left unanswered by you and filled in with guesses by himself.

“What about you?” Your words come making him stop just beyond where you remained as he followed the path to his bedroom. Taehyung can’t help glancing towards you, just a couple feet from him, but appearing so far away as your head faces at a downward angle to the couch beside you.

“I closed the shop early today.” He explains in a low voice, because he does not want to say why he’s come home. He still doesn’t want to think about everything falling apart. And for a moment that fact causes him a burst of frustration because of all of those unanswered questions so his tone shifts coarsely when he gives a curt reply, “Going to sign a new lease.”

Taehyung expects nothing from the sentence, but watching your hand tighten atop the couch makes him hesitate from going to his room. It’s the smallest action, and nonverbal at that. He knows everything you said about distrusting him and about his importance being nothing more than an irrational measurement you never meant, so why does he still cling on to the smallest sign. One that means nothing.

He shakes his head softly, feeling consumed by the tension. He walks down the hall to his room, leaving you there. Turning away just in time for the sparse rain drops in your eyes to drip in silence onto the leather your hand clings to.

Rather than reaching to wipe them away, you simply let the tears fall, thinking it better to ignore them so they altogether stop. For all of the relief that built in your chest at seeing him again, it ripped back away at his statement. You want to tell him he still has two weeks that he could stay, but you know that would only serve unnecessary confusion, and that it’s better if he leaves now while you’re still able to hold yourself back from confessing the insincerity of all the hurtful things you messaged him.

“Do-” Your shoulders tense at the pet name he stopped himself from uttering. Your lips tighten into a line, forcing away a frown as he continues after a moment, “Y/N, are you okay?”

Considering everything, you wonder how Taehyung even asked you that, knowing well that you’ve given him every reason to stop caring about you to even the smallest extent. But he’s sweet and gentle like the flowers he tends to. You muster a smile at this thought, and nod your head even though you’re facing away from him still.

Taehyung’s hand curls in response to your demeanor, wondering if you really have to look away from him. Does it bother you that much to even be around him? Because things were different only a week ago, it is nearly impossible for him to accept the situation at hand, but ultimately he just sighs, and starts a walk back to the front door, wearing a fresh shirt that’s different from the type he typically wears to work in the flower shop.

As he heads to the door, you recall the countless times he’s walked in and out, wandered around the house familiarly, like a necessary puzzle piece to the space. You can think of the many failed recipes created in the kitchen that led to races to the front door to get the food deliveries afterwards. And you can remember the time you held the door open for him when he struggled with his arms full of little flower starts that would bloom soon if they are maintained after he leaves.

He’s leaving.

“Tae,” Your voice barely sounds like anything but a weak squeak because of the emotions clogging up your throat. He stops to turn back towards you like a habit-- his eyes focusing on your person easily, though the irises are admittedly not as cheerful as all the times of the past. “You-” Your nails dig into the leather of the couch, like the logic you’ve taped up in your mind tries desperately to stay together. But the throbbing pain in your heart wins over your mouth, “I’m so sorry.”

“What-” Taehyung’s sentence drops away as he notices the glittering on your cheeks, and he turns completely. With every nerve on his body beginning to prickle in worry, he takes a step in your direction on impulse, pausing only when you shake your head, releasing more tears down your skin.

“I’m sorry. I’m so selfish-- I really can’t do this.” The words dribble out in a frantic mumble as you finally begin to wipe away at the tears. “I know I need to let you leave-- I know you should; I can’t do this though. I don’t want you to go, I really don’t-”

Your breath hitches as you’re all the sudden pulled into a strong embrace. Without hesitation your arms cling to his shirt, while a sob muffles into the fabric. Taehyung’s arms encompass you with the same feeling that living with him gives you: safety.

“Calm down, Y/N.” Taehyung soothes your trembling frame with his fingertips clutching tightly on your shoulder blades, fastening you to this space that was stable. Giving you a place to belong again.

“I didn’t mean any of it, Tae,” You croak between gasps as your lungs fight for air amidst your sobs. “I trust you more than anyone-- you’re the most important person to me, Taehyung. Please don’t go.”

“Then why,” He starts the question, but then your rushed sentences finally register to him properly. The fact that you said you know he needs to leave. Taehyung breathes in as the realization of it sets in. You were trying to get him away so he wouldn’t be involved anymore. For his benefit, not because you ever wanted that.

“I-,” You cough, clutching onto him tighter as the sobbing leaves your throat thick. You want to explain everything, and make sure that he hears your apologies as many times as necessary, so desperately you try to speak up again only for Taehyung to hush them away.

“Stop for a bit, dove.” He tells you, causing you to find a grasp at peace just from him addressing you with endearment once again. “I’m not going to walk away-- you don’t need to rush. Let’s sit down, okay?”

As you sit on the couch with your fingers rubbing onto your temples, Taehyung stands in the kitchen fiddling with objects that you hear clatter around. You think little of it, simply counting seconds with the inhales and exhales of your breaths, elongating them so as to ease away the rampant swarm of tears and emotions. The prickling in your head must be from a mixture of shock and embarrassment, you decide, becoming increasingly aware of how vividly everything came flooding out.

When Jaeboem texted you days earlier, you had to stop replying. You feel bad still for leaving his series of texts pleading with you out of worries for being left on read, but when he verbally acknowledged how alone you must be, you couldn’t look at the words any longer. That aspect of your lifestyle needs to be kept in check or else you would have to look at everything that’s hollow in the world that you made for yourself.

For following a dream that you were passionate about, in the past you anticipated a cover of happiness washed over your life once you reached the level of notoriety that would keep acting jobs flooding in. But for years of your work and efforts to simply amount to you walking into a lifeless house, with the few people around you about to walk out, you couldn’t let yourself see that because it would be the one thing too much to bear. Even if you enjoy acting, the present gives you no sense of fulfillment outside of your job, which in itself is starting to be cracked with holes as well.

“Here.” Your eyes break from their lack of concentration to watch Taehyung settle a mug that matches his on a coaster in front of you. The steam filled with the warm scent of honey and tea leaves. “Does your head hurt?”

Meagerly and barely do you nod, finally removing your hands from putting pressure on your temples to take hold of the mug. Careful to keep your skin from directly touching the hot ceramic, you balance it inches from your lips to blow gently.

“Thank you.” You mumble, taking small sips so as not to burn your taste buds. The drink is light, but soothing to your throat that is ravaged from your outburst. “I,” Your head jolts as you recall, nearly sloshing around the scalding tea, but Taehyung’s hand aids you in steadying the mug as you speak in worry. “I stopped you from meeting the leasing office-- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Taehyung shakes his head, very slightly nudging the mug so that you drink more. As you finally give in despite your frown, he continues in a quiet voice. “It’s not like I really wanted to go anyways.”

As you glance towards him with an uncertain hope glinting in your eyes, Taehyung smiles gently and is unable to stop his thumb to graze over your cheek where tear treks remain. In the void of words, the shower outside rages on with a hum of thunder only relaxing the tension in your shoulders. As his hand leaves your skin, you break eye contact to again sip at the beverage while Taehyung eases more into his seat beside you.

Without speaking, he simply rests his head on the cushion, letting you revitalize yourself with the drink. He arranges his thoughts with his newfound information, and is almost upset that he never contemplated any of it before. His friends too had commented repeatedly how strange and out of character all of the texts you sent him were, especially Jeongguk who was fully convinced the connection between you and Taehyung could only be genuine. Taehyung thought the same, and he could blame the surprise of it all for letting his rationality falter, but ultimately he feels disappointed in himself for not considering that this was the only way you found yourself able to protect him.

It’s true that if he continued to believe your words, the hurt would have been enough to start a gap of separation from you, and perhaps even if he reconsidered later down the line he may have pushed the thoughts aside to keep you from having to bother with the whole thing again. Or perhaps it is more accurate, he decides, that he may have not been willing to risk hearing you say everything to him all over again.

“Now you don’t want me to leave?” Taehyung breaks the silence with the small question, the corner of his lips quirking as the empty mug clatters on the coaster from your surprise from the bluntness. With furrowed eyebrows you turn to look at him, so clearly upset with yourself, that Taehyung doesn’t have the heart to tease you any further. His lips part to speak but in a small ramble you beat him to it,

“I never wanted you to. I just didn’t know how else to keep you from getting dragged into anything more than you have been. I know you don’t want anything to do with fame, and,” You shake your head as once again those texts replay through your head.

“Dove.” Taehyung’s hand covers over the top of yours as they fiddle on your lap, bringing you back down. “I understand now.”

Your frown remains, and your chest feels heavy once more because you know you really did hurt him, and yet he’s sitting beside you still and giving you a chance at explanation. You don’t deserve that.

“I should have let you go though.” Your eyes fall to your lap, watching as his hand squeezes over top of yours. You’re sure he doesn’t like your sentence. “Taehyung, I know you say that you don’t mind any of the baggage that comes along with getting linked to me in rumors, but you don’t know what it’s actually like to go through any of that. To have thousands of people you don’t know critique all the choices you make and constantly put their judgement on you just because they don’t like you or are bored-- it’s exhausting. Especially if you’re not even gaining anything from it. You don’t want to get into this lifestyle--and that’s fine, but it’s even more of a reason for you to distance yourself from me. I can’t control any of this as much as I want to, and you’ll just end up dealing with trouble because of it all.”

Without thinking, one of your hands turns upwards, taking a grasp of his gently.

“I do gain something from it all.” Taehyung says, ready for his eyes to meet yours when your head turns in confusion. “I’ll still be in your life.”

Your jaw clenches; heart beating too happily at his affirmation of it all. It’s idyllic and frankly all you would want to hear from him. Such a simple thing, yet the implication causes new, touched tears to collect in the corner of your eyes. Warmly Taehyung smiles at you, tugging you towards him so he can hug you, which you allow without hesitation.

“I know that you’re worried about me, dove, but what you’re telling me I’ve considered too. I may not have been that involved when I was a trainee, but I know the media can be ruthless and cruel, but I’d still choose dealing with that than not being with you anymore.”

“But why,” You pull a bit from him to look up at his face, frowning. “No one’s ever wanted to go through all of this crap just for me-- I don’t understand why you always pick to stay.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I care about you before you believe me?” He asks with a smile, cutting off any of your uncertain remarks by simply hugging you tighter and chuckling as you make a noise of surprise from the action. “Dove, I’m happiest living here with you. You mean so much to me, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. No matter how many times you ask me, you’re going to get this for an answer. You’re my friend, Y/N. You’re dear to me.”

Your hands meddle their way from between your torsos so that you can wrap your arms around him tightly. Taehyung smiles at the reciprocation, settling his forehead atop your head when he feels your body rumble from some muffled cries that somehow have an air of happiness to them.

You’re willing to accept his answer, no longer frightened of all the repercussions as you cling onto Taehyung as if he’ll drift away. Now you realize how content the world becomes with even one person willing to stay. Without the attachment of jobs, or the necessity to save face in front of cameras, Taehyung wants to remain where he is. You’re so thankful for the fact, but can’t properly express the gratitude through words, but he hums in response anyways, keeping you enveloped in his arms as he tells you peacefully,

“I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. Don’t worry.”

If you enjoy, PLEASE let me know!!

Tag(s): @atulipandarosee @jaienn @lemonteacyst@swanboysuga @kennedaddy00 @cribabieee@betysotelo18 @sherizaraiyah (if you would like to be tagged send me an ask to let me know!)

#taehyung #taehyung smau.taehyung fic #taehyung aangst #taehyung fluff #taehyung series #bts #bts imagines #bts fake texts #bts angst #bts smau #bts fluff #bts series #all #series flora

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unprofessional-bard · 4 years ago

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Chapter 2 - A New Jerusalem

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: PTSD/panic attacks + some suicidal thoughts... angst basically.

Summary: The company finally reach Jackson. Greetings are exchanged between old and new friends, but the reader's hurt after an attack on the plant.

Word Count: 4.917

Author's Note: Now although I haven't been diagnosed either with PTSD or depression, I do have anxiety and had my fair share of panic/anxiety attacks. I can relate or empathise with the people who do have PTSD/depression to some level and I can assure you all I do tons of research about each mental illness I'll be mentioning in these series. I've put mighty effort in this chapter and the following to make it as accurate as possible. My last desire is to upset someone, please forgive me if I do for it isn't intentional... but thank you all so much for reading! 🥺

Enjoy!

Over a month on the road with a smuggler, who's supposedly your, a FEDRA major general's, enemy and a little girl who turned out to be your second chance at life; you really couldn't help but grow fond of them. Them who offered you protection and their own water. How can you not be grateful for them? Even though a second chance at life wasn't exactly your preferred way out of this apocalypse... But everything happens for a reason, you supposed and sighed in relief once you saw a sign written Jackson County on it. It was when Ellie had asked about what happened between Joel and Tommy that Joel revealed the story, but you were too busy stressing out to listen as you all approached a stream. Your heart started beating faster the closer you got to a hydroelectric power plant, which you had to cross, apparently.

"You okay? You've been awfully quiet," Joel asked, suddenly stopping in front of you.

"Yeah," you gulped, palms clammy. Were you sweating? "I'm- it's okay. I'm fine."

Joel gave you a suspicious look, but didn't say anything and moved to try and turn the wheel to make up a bridge from the metal pieces attached to the power plant.

"Well, that gets us halfway." Ellie observed. "If we get the other one up, we'll make it across."

"Isn't there another way?" You sighed, face pale, fidgeting. "There's got to be another way."

The pair gave you an odd look and Joel spoke: "Well, there seems to be no other way but to cross the river."

"Maybe- maybe there's something that will stop the water from flowing? I'll- check over there." You pointed at a control room behind you and walked over there. When the door didn't open, you kicked it open with such force, Ellie and Joel were left more confused than ever. The place had no lights, which meant there was no power surging through the devices in there, but you began pushing every button in there nevertheless.

"Fuck!" You growled and hit the button table with trembling hands in frustration. You felt hot in your jacket all of a sudden, then noticed Joel getting into the water. You froze then and there, realizing you really didn't have another option but to cross the bridge. Your eyes watered at the realization, but you forced yourself to keep calm like you did countless other times. You were the legendary Alpha One leader, after all. A devoted, disciplined, brave leader. Being afraid or weak was something you could've never been able to afford.

You nodded to yourself, ran your fingers through your hair and walked out, only to find Joel carrying Ellie to the other side on a pallet.

"Go on, give it a spin," Joel said once she jumped off the pallet and reached the other wheel. "So good of you to join us."

You remained quiet at his remark as he got out of the water and watched Ellie complete the bridge. He jumped over to your side and began walking to the other side.

"Hey, be careful crossing that thing!" Ellie called out as you both crossed the makeshift bridge.

"We will," Joel replied as he effortlessly walked halfway through, while your legs began shaking. You tried to keep your composure and walk across as normally as he did, but your legs felt like they were about to give in any moment. Keep it together, you thought to yourself, but it was no use.

"Joel," your hands instinctively reached out to him when you stepped on a particularly wet spot, but he was already across, high-fiving Ellie. Maybe it would've been better if you had told them what happened to Felicity and the results of it on you.

"What?" Joel turned around just before stepping off the piece of metal.

"I- I can't cross this-" you spoke while lowering yourself down to grab the edges, running out of breath.

"What do you mean you can't cross it?" Joel spoke, irritated but confused. "C'mon, you're hafway though already."

"No, no I can't," your voice cracked as the sound of the current started getting louder, your heart beating faster. The images of Felicity's body being thrown into water started to appear on your mind.

"Joel, I think she's scared," Ellie said, worried.

"Alright, I'm gonna come grab you," Joel called for you, his irritation slowly turning into anxiety.

"Okay, okay," you spoke between deep breaths, tears filling your eyes and hanging on for dear life. You shut your eyes tightly as you waited for him. It didn't even take 5 seconds for Joel to walk over to you and hold your shoulder: "I'm here, I got you, let's go."

"Uhh," you forcefully moved your feet toward his direction. "Oh god..."

"C'mon, I'm right here, you can get up." Joel encouraged you while holding your hand and it actually encouraged you for a solid second, so you complied, but you got up too fast and it immediately got you feeling dizzy.

"Oh no, oh- woah!" You shouted when you lost your footing and slipped.

"(Y/N)!" Ellie shrieked the same time Joel yelled, but before your upper body could completely sink into the water, Joel caught you by the arm, his chest hitting the metal with a hard thud.

"Fuck! Joel- get me out!" You cried and clawed at the poor man's arm, feeling the water splash around your neck and soak your hair.

"Calm down! I got you, give me your other hand!" Joel yelled as he tried to get a hold of you. It was the first time he was seeing pure terror in your eyes, the first time he saw you being afraid of something so badly.

You sobbed as he grabbed your other hand and pulled you up, Ellie running to help you out. The both of them pulled you out and Joel quickly dragged you across and kneeled beside you, laying you on the ground.

"(Y/N), it's okay, you're safe- (Y/N)-" Joel held your face in his hands as you continued sobbing, reminding him of Sa-

"(Y/N)!"

You covered your mouth with the back of your hand, then bit the side of it, forcing yourself to calm down as you choked back your sobs. Joel and Ellie could do nothing but stare as your body slowly stopped shaking.

You pushed yourself off the ground, trembling lightly and sniffing quietly. Your embarrassment was keeping you from turning around to face them, but Joel's soft voice reached your ears from behind you: "You okay?"

"Yeah," you sniffed. "Yeah, I'm- uh, sorry about that... Let's keep moving."

"You sure? You should rest awhile," Joel reached out to grab your shoulder once more, but you turned around before he could.

"I'll rest when we get there," you said, eyes red, voice cracking a bit and throat hurting. "There's only a few miles left, you said? I'll be fine, let's go."

Joel nodded and told Ellie to move, while he stayed back with you. You stared at the side of your hand which now had deep, purple teeth marks on it, too afraid to look at Joel while he spoke quietly: "Why didn't you tell me you were afraid of the water?"

"I'm not afraid of the water, I..." you groaned, tears still rolling down your face. "It's about... Felicity."

Joel stared for a moment, then nodded with a soft expression on his face. He could tell this was no phobia the moment you mentioned her name.

You all walked, climbed some rocks and went under a tree for a while more as Ellie dreamt about coming across a squirrel and eating it. Poor girl was so hungry, and so were you and Joel but she was just a child.

Your blood ran cold when you came across an old FEDRA territory: "Ain't no way around, we're gonna have to cut through the plant," Joel said and gave you a look. "You think it's empty?"

"I've never heard of this base in the past four years or so- It's gotta be, but we have to be careful." You shook your head.

You and Joel tried to open the doors, but they were... locked. Just as you were about to turn around, a woman appeared to your right on the patrol walls. A chill went up your spine.

"Don't even think about reaching for your weapons-" She spoke, but you grabbed your rifle and Ellie had her little pistol already pointing at the woman. "Tell her to drop her gun, now."

"Ellie, do as the lady says," Joel backed away from the door, all of you raising your hands up reluctantly.

"Please tell me you're lost," the blonde woman sighed.

"We didn't know this place was occupied, we're just trying to make our way through." Joel.

"Through to where?"

Your heart began racing again, at the thought of someone recognizing you. You were 98% sure this place was deserted a few years ago, how-

"They're alright." A familiar voice reached your ears from the left, interrupting your thoughts.

"What, you know these people?" The woman asked in confusion.

"I know him," he spoke and the door opened, to reveal Tommy with a rifle in hand. "He's my goddamn brother."

"Tommy?" Joel was stunned at the sight of him and so were you.

"Holy shit," Tommy said before going in for a hug. It was the first time you'd seen Joel look relaxed and genuinely happy.

"How you doin' baby brother?"

"Goddamn... Let me look at you." Tommy gave his brother a once over, commenting on how fuckin' old he'd gotten, the blonde woman appearing from behind the door as well.

"Shit... (Y/N)? What the hell are you doin' with him?" Tommy's smile grew wide and you extended your hand over to him, which he used to grab and pull you into a brief hug with.

"Good to see you too, Tommy," you smiled. "You gotta take these FEDRA signs down man, gives the feller a heart attack."

"That's exactly the point," Tommy chuckled, then gave a look at the blonde lady. "This is Maria," he looked at you and Joel: "Be nice to her, she sorta runs things around here."

"Ma'am," Joel nodded. "Thanks for not blowing my head off."

"Would've been embarrassing," Maria said. "Considering you're my brother-in-law."

Joel looked at the couple, dumbfounded while you looked between the three of them. When the hell did he got married?!

"We all gotta get wrangled up at some point." Tommy smiled at the both of you like a fool in love. You chuckled and shook your head, remembering the times he used to be a Firefly. Maria and Ellie exchanged a quick conversation before Tommy finally made a move to bring you all inside.

There were literally no words whatsoever to describe how relieved you were. Finally, fucking finally, you had reached your safe haven. Ellie was right, although it needed some work this place was indeed like a small village protected by armed men and a huge FEDRA sign. The walls were long and they looked impenetrable. The moment you heard the door close from behind you, you almost collapsed onto the floor; legs turning into jello and relief washing over you, even though you heard Maria say something about bandits and raids.

At least they weren't Hunters.

You mostly stayed quiet as Joel and Tommy caught up, Ellie petted and admired some horses while a lady and Maria talked to Ellie about them. You just watched and tried to enjoy the moment of peace, locking eyes with Joel for a brief moment before Tommy motioned all of you to follow him for the rest of the tour.

"Really though, how did you end up with Joel, (Y/N)?" Tommy asked right before you walked through a door. You could tell he had a lot of questions, but they had to wait for awhile as you didn't really have the energy to answer them.

"It's uh- a long story." You pursed your lips and stared at him with a pitiful look on your face, only for Maria's walkie to interrupt your exchange. Tommy decided to take up her place when she said she'd rather eat with Ellie and you.

"I'll come with you," Joel said. "You two go with Maria and put some food in yourselves."

"Joel?" Ellie objected with a slightly uncomfortable look on her face.

"C'mon Ellie, let's give the boys some space." Maria smiled at her.

"It's alright Ellie, let's go eat." You rubbed her back and began tailing Maria.

"So," Maria sighed with some energy on her, you wish you had the same. "Before I make any assumptions, would you like to tell me where you're headed or why are you all travelling together?"

Ellie and you looked at each other for a short moment as Maria led you through some rooms: "Uh, actually we were travelling separately, they kinda stumbled across me as I was... dying."

Maria turned around to give you a surprised look, making you shrug and smile awkwardly: "I told you it was a long story."

You began telling her about where your roads crossed, without getting into details, as she got all of you... steaks?

Goddamn, you thought.

"We thought you'd be in the city just as we came across the doors," you spoke after finishing your tale. Maria ate normally, while you barely touched your food. Ellie, on the other hand, almost choked on hers because she was eating too fast.

"Slow down, Ells, the food ain't going anywhere," You handed a(n actual) napkin to her as she struggled to breathe.

"So Ellie isn't your and Joel's daughter," Maria smirked. "What a shame, we had just the perfect place for a family of three."

Your cheeks got dusted with pink as you stared at Maria, mouth slightly agape: "No- Although if you have another perfect place for an adult, that'd be great."

"How do you mean?"

"I escaped FEDRA," You spoke uncomfortably. "My team, they... they all died and, I don't wanna go back. I never wanted to be a part of it to begin with, that's why I was scared when you first showed up. I thought it was an ambush."

Maria nodded sympathetically as you continued: "When Ellie told me of this place, she told me I'd be safe here..."

"Oh," Maria sighed. "Of course, yeah... I see that you and Tommy know each other from way back and that he trusts you?"

"Yeah," you tensed. What if she was the jealous type and wasn't going to let you in because of your 'history' with Tommy? "I used to help him and a few other Fireflies out when they couldn't get around FEDRA. I thought they served a good cause but... It was just a few favours and exchanges here and there."

"I see. He never told me about you, I was surprised when he acted the way he did when he saw you." Oh shit.

"I'm not surprised he didn't mention me," you tensed, visibly, shifting uncomfortablly. "We were just good acquaintances but I guess he was too ecstatic to find out his brother and old acquaintance was alive?"

"Relax," Maria laughed. "I'm just messing with you. Of course he told me about you and the way you watched out for him back in the day."

You really wanted to jump off a window when she confessed and giggled. Give me a break...

"You're cruel," you forced a small smile. You and Tommy really were just good acquaintances, nothing more. You really weren't sure why he hugged you all of a sudden.

"She's really tired, go easy on her," Ellie spoke, mouth full.

"I can tell, you look drained." Maria commented on your appearance worriedly. "Come on now, eat up."

"I'm not hungry," you said. After what happened only some minutes ago, your stomach wasn't in the mood for any food; yes, even though it was a delicious looking steak.

"I'm sure you are," Maria smiled sincerely. "You eat this, then take a bath afterwards and rest as long as you need."

"A bath?" Your voice trembled. "If you tell me you have shampoo or something, I'll kiss you."

Maria giggled: "Unfortunately we don't have shampoos, but we do have hot water and some soaps."

Your eyes widened further more as a hand ran through your hair: "I'm not gonna kiss you, I think I'll just pass out instead. God bless."

You had both of them laughing at your comment, which also made you smile.

"Maria," a voice suddenly echoed through the walkie. "We got the electricity back on!"

"Oh that's great news," Maria sighed into the walkie, relieved.

This place didn't feel real. They had a whole village with protection, electricity, actual food and hot baths with soaps? You just might faint on the spot. Instead, you nibbled at your food. Although you still weren't too hungry, you forced down a few bites to keep yourself going.

Minutes passed as Maria and Ellie chatted this time, peaceful minutes they were, but of course it had to come to an end when alarms went off.

"What's going on?" Ellie panicked.

"Bandits," Maria dropped her smile and got off the table. You and Ellie quickly grabbed your guns and got up as well.

"Stay behind here, I'll cover the door," You said, battle instincts kicking in immediately. They did as you asked and watched as you made your way over to the door, hearing Tommy through the walkie for a brief moment before the door flew open. You immediately fired at the unfamiliar face and heard Maria tell Ellie to hide. You hid behind the door as another man came in, quickly putting a bullet through his head and waiting for a moment to see if more men would come.

"(Y/N)?" You heard Ellie whisper. You began sprinting over to them when another bandit came from behind you. He swung a machete at you with a roar, which you barely dodged as it sliced through your waist a little, making you cry out angrily. You immediately rolled away from the man and shot a straight line of bullets from his chest to his forehead before he could approach you, grabbing the machete from him as he fell.

"Are you alright?!" Maria cried, worried, as you examined your wound.

"Yeah, just stay down!" You replied and threw yourself on the ground when a bullet whizzed only inches away from your ear. You took cover behind a crate and listened to the movements of the men: There were three in the room currently, one near your location, one who just got in the room and one headed over to where Maria and Ellie were.

Alright, you took a deep breath, let's do this.

You jumped over the crate from the left side, opposite to where you got into cover from, having the upper hand with the element of surprise, slicing the bandit's throat with the machete. The guy at the entrance shot at you but the shots were poorly aimed, which gave you time to take down the man as he reloaded. Another gunshot rang through the air from behind you, making you run over to where Ellie and Maria where, only to find a dead bandit on the ground.

"We gotta run!" Maria grabbed Ellie's hand and got up, running for a door on the right side of the room. After making sure the other side was clear, you grabbed the machete before leading the girls through the door to a room which was already occupied by four bandits.

You managed to take two down before ducking and taking cover behind a desk which Maria kicked down in the meanwhile. You reflexively held your wounded side, looked at the blood, then huffed angrily. It got too quiet as you did, which made you look up, only to see another man running toward you with a baseball bat with spikes on it.

You quickly backed off as he swung it at you, which you avoided and immediately took advantage off; your own machete was embedded into his skull before he could raise his bat once more, blood splattering on your face.

While you were struggling to get your blade out of the bandit's head, the other man advanced at you with a cry. You grabbed your machete with both hands and pushed the body off with your foot, the corpse falling almost on top of the other bandit which gave you a moment to recollect yourself and attack. The guy dodged you and you dodged him, machetes clanging against each other.

"(Y/N), duck!" You heard Ellie yell and when you did, a shot rang out from Ellie's pistol and the man hit the floor with a painful yelp. Before you could get off the ground however, a much bigger man with a shotgun came through and fired at you.

"Agh, fuck!" You groaned when you rolled out of his view and onto your wounded side, accidentally dropping your rifle on the floor, out of breath.

"Watch out!" Ellie yelled when the man discovered you behind your cover. Just my luck, you smirked when the man realised he had no ammo left. You immediately jumped up and swung your machete at him, but to your surprise he blocked your attack and grabbed your wrist. He twisted your arm and made you cry out, so you kicked him which made him double over. You tried to kick him a second time, but he quickly regained his composure and went for your waist, hugging it and driving you straight into the wall behind you.

"Oof!" You yelped and coughed, striking him with your elbows. He didn't seem to be affected by your advances as he went to choke you. You couldn't block him in time, causing you to fall on the ground with a painful grunt. Your choking noises must've alerted Ellie, for she went out of cover to shoot at the guy, only to find her pistol to be empty. She began reloading but you were running out of time, so you reached out for the machete laying just across you, then stuck it into the side of his neck when you got a hold of it; blood decorating your face furthermore.

"Oh shit, (Y/N)!" Ellie ran over to you as you fought for air, coughing your lungs out. You pushed the man off you and let Ellie hold your hand as you tried to breathe. "You're okay- I think that was the last of them."

Maria came out of the cover after making sure it was safe, rushing to your side.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," you calmed down, blinking away your tears as you rubbed your neck. That was too close, you thought and got up with Maria and Ellie's help slowly.

"You okay?" Tommy and Joel entered the room all of a sudden, Maria rushing to her husband.

"Yeah- yeah I'm fine." She nodded as Tommy held her. Your breathing was still off track as Joel rushed to Ellie's side.

"Joel! Oh man," Ellie spoke. "They were coming in from every direction-"

"Okay," Joel tried to speak but there was no stopping Ellie: "And then Maria was like We gotta run! So (Y/N) led us here and-"

"Listen-"

"We dove over these tables while (Y/N) took out these guys and this huge guy blasts in with a shotgun!"

"Slow down, slow down-"

"And he attacks her but she swings a machete into his neck-"

"Hey- hey! Are you hurt?" Joel asked, finally getting a hold of Ellie.

"No," Ellie gulped as she gave herself a once over, while Tommy and Maria watched the exchange. "But (Y/N) is!"

Joel turned around to see you leaning onto a table, pressing on your wound with a red face and hand prints around your neck, then walked over to you.

"How bad are you hurt?" Joel removed your hand from your waist and gently held your shoulder.

"Not too bad," You said, breathing slowly getting back on track. "Just need to catch my breath."

Maria and the others brought you to a small nursery and they all waited outside except Ellie. She stayed with you as a lady named Katherine cleaned your wound and applied stitches and bandages on it. While you laid down, you heard Maria yell at Tommy, which made Ellie curious and leave your side. After she was done, you thanked Katherine and went outside only to see an upset Ellie going back in your direction.

"Hey, what's going on?" You stood across her.

"Don't get me wrong (Y/N), I wanna be alone right now."

"Okay, kiddo," You nodded, confused. "I'm here if you wanna talk."

"I know."

You walked over to where Joel was after Ellie went some other direction: "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine- what's going on?"

"You seen Ellie?"

"Yeah and, well, she's pissed," you sighed and watched Maria walk over to both of you.

"Here we go..." Joel muttered before getting up to confront Maria.

"You," She was breathing fire. "If anything- anything at all happens to him, it's on you."

You watched her leave, what the hell was going on? The brothers stood in silence for a moment before Tommy spoke: "She's thankful you know."

"Yeah, I know..." Joel sighed. Tommy gave you a look and you took it as your cue to leave, so you got up and started walking away while they chatted quietly. Just as you were out of hearing range, you heard Tommy call for Joel.

"What is it?" You heard Joel ask when you turned around.

"That girl of yours, she took one of our horses and ran off."

You felt as though boiling water was poured on you from head to toe. Shit.

"Damn it," you heard Joel say as he approached you. "Why the hell did you let her go?"

"I didn't do anything," You said. "She said she wanted to be alone, so I let her."

"You let her be alone outside in the woods?" He growled when he got face to face with you.

"I don't like your tone," you hissed at his false accusation, to which he looked at you as if he was saying the audacity. "I didn't let her do nothin', she said she wanted to be alone- how the hell was I supposed to know she was gonna run off?!"

"Can't keep an eye on a kid..." Joel muttered then walked away, you following him.

"She's neither my child nor my responsibility to take across country and you blame me because she ran off? Please."

"Then why are you acting like her mother all the time?"

"Joel, enough. Let's go." Tommy interrupted when they reached the stables. "Not you, (Y/N). Riding will ruin your stitches."

You opened your mouth to disagree but Tommy insisted: "Please just stay. We got this, it's okay."

"Okay... Be careful." You said with a worried look and Tommy nodded in return, Joel already on the move without sparing you another look.

They rode off - all you could do was watch as they disappeared into the woods.

"They'll be fine, ma'am." The guy at the stables smiled. "Tommy and your man can take real good care of themselves-"

"He's not my man." You growled.

"Oh, well, they'll bring your daughter back-"

"She's not my daughter!" You sighed, exasperated. "Just- tell me where Maria is, please?"

He took you to her and you two sat for a while, complaining about the brothers, eventually laughing about it and making Maria say:

"I just, I really love him... if anything happened to him-"

"I know," you smiled softly. "It's not really my lifestyle, but I know what you mean."

"What do you mean not your style?"

"Love never did it for me. I, well, you could say I forgot what it feels like. I never had the time..."

"Oh I see. Well, you're here now," Maria smiled back, then smirked: "Maybe you'll find someone here, if Joel is too much for you to handle."

Your smile dropped: "Maria, I told you, I'm not interested in that jerk and vice versa... Plus, I can handle him just fine!"

You both giggled again and then Maria led you to a spare chamber she offered you to rest in while she arranged a house for you. You laid down and sighed, sleep pushing your eyelids down as soon as your head hit the pillow.

You were exhausted because of everything you've been through and everything you've felt: You were angry at Joel, worried for Ellie, relieved that you made it to Jackson in one piece, also upset that you possibly won't be seeing Ellie after tomorrow; there was also the attraction you felt toward Joel that you furiously denied, the need to relieve yourself down there and whatnot; but you really didn't think it was appropriate with the grief you pushed down and away slowly resurfacing along your feelings. You were absolutely fatigued, you felt like if someone simply touched you by the shoulder, you'd break and turn into dust then and there. At least in a few hours, when you woke up, Ellie would be back and Joel would mutter an apology - two things would be off your mind before you focused on your heavier emotions.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel x reader #tlou x reader #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us x reader #the last of us

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something-fanfiction-ie · 5 years ago

Text

Guardian Angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse of kidnapping. Again, details of murder/crime scenes, curse words.

A/N: Hello, hello, hello! So, again, I find myself having to cut this in half. I originally planned on the team getting to you at this point in the story but I got a little carried away. I’ve been thinking about this series so much that it’s ridiculous. Low-key wish I’d been able to direct a CM episode like this. The things I could do with a camera... solely focused on Matthew for a 45 minute episode. Heh. Anyways, remember to like, comment, reblog, send me asks, and basically do the job of producing serotonin for me like my brain is supposed to do naturally. Thank you so much for sticking around and I’ll be sure to get the next part out to you ASAP!

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[ Part One | Part Two | Part Three ]

It was hours later before Spencer felt the incessant buzzing of his phone against his thigh.

Immediately annoyed and already tired of the day, he didn’t even bother to look at the caller ID before sending it straight to voicemail. Blindly, he rummaged around in the bottom of his satchel for his keys. Spots danced across the back of his left eyelid as he tried to rub the exhaustion away.

Everything about today had been awful. From finding out the girl of his dreams, who he had only known for three weeks, mind you, could be a serial killer to the fact that, without you, nothing made any sense in this case. Even if you weren’t the unsub, you were an integral piece to finding out who was.

After you had left the office earlier this afternoon, Spencer had made it his mission to investigate every other person connected to you. He’d even gone so far as to track down your father to the other side of the globe, having somehow made his way to Europe in order to stay out of you and your mother’s lives.

Try as he might, every possible lead led to a brick wall spray painted to say, ‘She’s the killer.’ Having spent most of the day trying to convince himself that you were the unsub, he was tired of fighting his instincts for fear of compromising himself. Something wasn’t right in this investigation and he just couldn’t figure out what it was.

When his phone started to buzz again as he pushed the key into the key hole, he couldn’t help the sudden surge of anger that seemed to take over his body. Hastily yanking one hand from the door, he reaches into his pocket and presses the answering button.

“Hello, this is Dr. Reid.” His tone is harsh and mechanically echoes back into his ear. Whoever is on the other side of the line is quiet for one second, then two. For five seconds no one responds and Spencer has the time to balance the phone between his cheek and his shoulder so that he could go about removing his bag and shuffling into his car.

“You really thought it was her, didn’t you, Dr. Reid?” Although the natural pitch of the voice suggests a woman, or maybe even a young boy, there is an underlying tone that suggests that it’s a man. Spencer is frozen in place, his bag sitting in the passenger seat of his car, one hand on the inside of the door and the other on the steering wheel.

Slowly, he reaches up to relieve his shoulder from the duty of holding his phone, his long fingers curling around the device. His eyes squinted, the way they usually did when he was thinking. With his other hand, nervously, he reaches up to push away a curl that has escaped from behind his ear.

“Who is this?” He regrets the question the moment it falls from his lips. Someone who has gone the painstaking lengths that this man has gone through to keep himself out of the investigation would not simply reveal his identity when no one even had a suspicion of him.

“Wrong question, Doctor. Try again.” Swallowing past the lump that has started to form in his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the action, Spencer stretches back across the driver seat of his car to grab his bag. The leather strap digs into the palm of his hand and he drags it toward him, feeling like he was stuck on rewind as he goes about undoing everything he’d just done.

“What do you want?” The click of the door lock is the only sound for three seconds before the man responds again, a sadistic excitement escalating the pitch of his voice.

“Out of life? From a specific restaurant? Be specific in your questioning, Doctor.” He laughs a little breathlessly. In the moments where he doesn’t talk, Spencer strains to hear anything that could help him, but he can’t even hear the guy breathe let alone identify background noise.

“What is your purpose in calling me?” Getting back into the building is a hassle while on the phone, but he manages it nonetheless. There would be no sleeping tonight after a call like this. The elevator button glows a pale yellow as Spencer stabs it with one of his long fingers. For now they are steady, his hands that is, but the full effect of what is happening and what it means hasn’t actually hit him full force yet.

“To inform you of two things; the first being that you are wrong. I killed all those people and I killed them because of you.” The breath in his throat hitches. All of his worst dreams and nightmares have come crawling out of the woodworking and across his skin like thousands of tiny spiders.

“The second being that I’ll be hanging out with our mutual friend for a while, so you may not see her for a little bit.” There is a creaking of a door before he hears you. Your voice is already hoarse from screaming and the sound of restraints clacking against a concrete flooring puts the picture of you in a dungeon deep into his head.

“Spencer?! Spencer his name i-” The sound of a hand making contact with skin makes Spencer’ blood boil with rage.

Curling into the corner of the elevator, hunching his shoulders into himself and covering an ear with the palm of his opposite hand, Spencer speaks slowly and deliberately into the speaker.

“Do not touch her.” The man on the line chuckles, reaching out to run a finger along the edge of your jawline. You snatch your head away, your slapped cheek already turning pink, and push back against the wall.

“I’m afraid it’s already too late for that. Happy hunting.” The doors of the elevator open as soon as the line goes dead. Everything in Spencer kicks into overdrive, his mind flying so fast that he could barely manage to keep up with it himself.

Hotch, ready to leave for the day, stands in the opening. The tired look in eyes only grows when he sees the young profiler standing in his way, his face drained of blood and his phone still desperately clutched to his ear.

“What’s happened?”

Not so far away, the door to the empty, concrete basement shuts you in by yourself. Around your ankle is a handcuff attached to a car chain that is anchored to the floor. If you crawl to it, dragging your injured leg behind you, you can see the shoddy soldering done to create this makeshift dungeon.

In the corner is a mattress with a thin cotton blanket probably from dollar general or somewhere equally as cheap. A lamp sits beside it, the wooden bottom nailed into the floor to keep you from using it as a weapon. The only other thing is a wooden chair that is planced just below a high rectangle window. A couple of desperate shakes against the leg confirms that it is also nailed to the floor.

With nothing of use, save maybe the blanket, you go about taking a collection of your injuries.

The top of your head is leaking a steady stream of blood that drips down the side of your face and sticks your hair to your cheek. The sight of so much blood coming from your head is alarming at first, but just as quickly as you started to panic, you remember that head wounds can bleed quite a lot. No matter how small.

On the opposite side as your head injury is a deep cut on your cheekbone. It has stopped bleeding, dry blood clogged around the torn skin and flaking along your cheek when you run your finger over it.

Your thigh is a different issue all together, the knife wound throbbing with pain no matter how you shift or apply pressure. You’ve coated your hands in gloves made of your own blood trying to staunch the bleeding, hissing and whimpering the whole time.

All three injuries had happened in a matter of minutes, starting with the knife to your thigh.

You drove for an hour and a half toward nowhere in particular, only pulling off the road when the gun jammed into your neck and Harvey snapped at you from the back.

“Turn right on the dirt road.” The tiny car bumped and bounced around the dirt and gravel, driving straight for another fifteen minutes. You were surrounded by nothing but trees and hills and although you’d been familiar with the area where you’d pulled off the road, you weren’t sure where you were.

When the gun jammed back into your neck and Harvey screamed for you to stop, you slammed so hard on the brakes that he rocked forward and hit his head on the back of the passenger seat. The crunch of his breaking nose was sickening to your ears, but the bite of the seat belt digging into your collarbone and neck was enough to keep you from vomiting.

“You bitch!” He cried, the hand not holding a gun to your neck flew up to catch the blood that fell from his nose. Despite his attempts, a drop or two still managed to fall to the floor and soak into the fabric. His DNA would be on this car, you could only hope that he was in some sort of system. Even now, after everything you’d been through today, you still trusted the team of FBI Agents to find you before it was too late.

The safety on the gun made a clicking noise, your entire body freezing in place as you looked at everything around you. You were in a big dirt field, trees surrounding a patch of land that may have once been the grounds for a home. Now, only your car, a red SUV, and red soil were the only things there to see.

Harvey moved around in the back seat, you could see him in your rear view mirror as he pulled tissues from his pocket and shoved them into his broken nose. When he was finished he pulled out a pocket knife. His eyes were two beady slits of black as he met your gaze in the mirror.

“We’re going to get out of this car, and get into that car right over there. I’ll get in the driver’s seat, and you get in the trunk. Understood?” Sweat slicked your hair to your temples as you shook your head, your grip on the steering wheel so tight that your fingertips had started to tingle.

“You aren’t a good shot, Harvey. The moment we get out of this car, I’ll run.” The knife in his hand popped to attention at your words, gleaming in the sunlight. Somehow, it was only four o’clock in the afternoon and you had already been through hell.

“You won’t be able to.” He said, his hand shooting forward and sinking into your leg. Through the shock of it all, you’d barely felt it even after he pulled the bloody knife back and flipped it shut. You gaped at the wound, watching as the blood seeped out, soaked into your pants, and smeared onto the leather covering of your seat.

The back door opened, the car still alive and thrumming underneath you as he hurried over to your side of the car. You didn’t think, you just acted, throwing the car out of park and letting the adrenaline pumping through your veins mask the pain it caused you to slam on the gas.

Maybe you would have made it, drove out of here and been able to make it to a hospital before you bled out in your own car, but it had been raining nearly nonstop for three weeks and your car was not made to go fast in mud. Your tires spun long enough for Harvey to throw your door open and slam the butt of his gun into your head, causing your face to slam into the steering wheel and render you unconscious.

By the time you came back to yourself, Harvey had been carrying you down the steps and into a basement or cellar of some kind. You had no idea where you were or how long you had been out, only that your entire body was sore and cold.

“Ah, you’re awake. Good. I wanted to apologize about earlier, you just made me a little angry. But we’re better now. I even took those bloody clothes off you. I’ve got your room made up for you and if you’re good, I might let you talk to a friend of ours.” His tone is cheerful, his dark eyes complimenting the dark bags underneath them.

Harvey had been in several of your classes when you went to Georgetown, a friendly face amongst all the older kids who used to sneer at you when you tried to do anything. You wouldn’t actually say you were friends, just two people who were kind to each other. Later, once you parted ways after graduation, he became the personal assistant of your agent. He told you he was just trying to make ends meet while he was going back to school for his masters. It was such a surprise to see you again!

Then last month he quit after the death of his mother, thanking your agent for the experience and moving back to whatever town it was he used to lived in that you never bothered to ask about. Agents have multiple clients, yours was no exception, so you thought nothing of the change in personal assistants based solely on the fact that you barely noticed. Her life didn’t revolve around you and yours didn’t revolve around her.

But now, locked in a basement wearing nothing but your underwear and a tank top, blood soaking through a bandage around your thigh, with the really cute man you’d based a character on believing that you were a serial killer, you wish you’d noticed him more.

...

Garcia was the one to suggest looking at the security footage of the parking lot. She’d been clacking away on her tablet and trying to not seem disappointed about being dragged back to the BAU so quickly, when someone asked where you would have gone from here.

“What if he took her from here?” Everyone had looked at her with varying degrees of peculiar looks. Someone being kidnapped from the parking lot of a building full of FBI Agents? It would be comical if kidnappings weren’t a serious issue. Ironic. That’s the word Penelope was looking for. It was ironic.

“I mean, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to look at the security footage but her lawyer walked her to her car, it was broad daylight. What are the-” Prentiss’ mouth snaps shut and her lips purse just a little when Penelope brings up the video on the big screen.

Just thirty minutes before you walk outside, a small and stocky figure jimmies open your back door and slides in. He must slide to the passenger side of the backseat because he disappears from view. While he isn’t dressed in an extremely unusual manner, the hat and the black hoodie he is wearing help to hide his identity from the camera hanging over him.

Fast forward thirty minutes and all eyes trained to you as you drop your keys and bend to pick them up. Guilt hits every single member on the team, Spencer probably more than the rest, when they watch your head drop into your hands once you’re in the confines of your car.

An arm extends across the backseat, coming into view of the camera as the unsub presses a gun into your neck. In a matter of fourty-five seconds, you start the car and pull out of the parking spot.

“So we can rule out Jeremy.” Spencer says plainly, shuffling the papers in front of him as he thinks. Across the table Hotch nods his head in agreement. Jeremy was tall, maybe an inch shorter than Spencer, and he while he had an athletic build it was more lean muscle than the wide and stocky build the unsub had.

Penelope is quick to gather her things and head for her office, already planning on trying to follow your path through traffic cameras. It would be a grueling process, but it was the least she could do after digging through your life to, unintentionally, frame you for eight murders you didn’t commit.

“We interviewed everyone she has a connection to, in state or not. She’s an extremely low-risk victim, her circles don’t run that big.” Morgan has his own tablet pulled into his lap and he tilts his chair this way and that. A coin weaves in and out of his fingers and his forehead wrinkles as he goes over the list in his mind.

“Then we’ve already talked to our unsub, we just have to figure out which one it was.”

The first names to go are those out of state; your mother, your father, your best friend, and a handful of people you were connected to through the publishing firm. While the remaining names are few in numbers, it still puts Spencer on edge. They didn’t have the kind of time to be wasting energy of persons of interest, they needed one name identifying their unsub.

Nevertheless, the names are split amongst the group of profilers who work tirelessly through the night. The sun soon rises and glares through the window of the BAU conference room, putting Spencer Reid right into it’s spotlight.

There are bags under his eyes, eyes that take longer to open every time he blinks. He’s read the same paragraph eight different times, his cheek perched against the heel of his palm and his elbow propped on the tabletop. When he pushes back from the table, taking the file with him as he tries to walk away the exhaustion, it isn’t for the first time that night.

All he can think about is that final look you gave him as you walked out the door. It was a look of complete and utter betrayal, like you’d been trying to convince yourself that he was somehow oblivious in your being accused of the murders and seeing him there had been a punch of truth in the gut. He’d gone forward when you stumbled, reflexively reaching out to steady you on your feet before his mind could process the action.

Spencer has been doing that since he met you, trying to protect you like he was a giant ball of bubble wrap around you. He’d done it that day in the bookstore, throwing all precautions to the wind when he held the back of your head to keep you from hitting that bookshelf. He’s done it several times at a coffee shop you both enjoy visiting on his days off, physically maneuvering your body when he realizes that your current trajectory will cause you to ram your hip into a table corner.

One time, he’d been walking with you across the street when a man on a bicycle had come flying out of nowhere. You’d been just a step in front of him, your head tilted over your shoulder and your hands flying around with animation as you told him a story. Truly, he wasn’t sure how he knew to reach out and grab your shoulders, you have a way of telling stories that makes the entire world fall away. Yet, as if he was Spider-Man or something, every cell in his body suddenly cried out and he didn’t hesitate in pulling you back.

The force Spencer used to pull your body into his chest had sent you both tumbling to the sidewalk behind you.

“Are you okay?” You’d said, turning so that you were hovering over him with the sun framing you like a halo around your head. Surely you could feel the rapid escalation of his heartbeat with the way you tenderly place one of your small hands over his chest.

In the end he had to pull you to the side of the busy street to put a band-aid on your elbow where it had hit the concrete. It had been in the bottom of your bag and it had Scooby-Doo on it.

Despite his eidetic memory, some moments always manage to fade a little more than others. Some moments stick out more, like when you had reached out to smooth a stray curl away from his face. Your fingers were featherlight against his temple, your head tilted just a little to the side, and a soft smile stretched your lips.

“You’re my guardian angel.”

Some guardian angel he was, accusing you of murder on eight accounts and then letting you be kidnapped by someone who had no qualms about slapping you. God only knows what else he was comfortable with.

“I’ve got a lead!” Garcia burst into the room, her chest heaving as she sent videos and pictures to the screen for everyone to see. Spencer couldn’t see her face as she bent over her tablet, punching in information and instructions, but he nearly peppered it with kisses when she started to explain what they were all seeing.

“I managed to track (Y/N) to a little town about and hour and a half away when she, probably on purpose, ran a red light just in front of a gas station.” The video of your car creeping through a four-way traffic light until it turned red and captured you on camera was time stamped for yesterday afternoon around four o’clock.

“If you look closely, she turns onto a dirt road just a few seconds later,” Sure enough, every eye in the room watches as your car disappears behind a cluster of trees across from the BP on the left side of the video. “Satellite pictures show that little dirt road leads to one house that burned down a year ago.”

Mouths open, cogs turns, but Penelope Garcia once again proves her intelligence when she merely waves one hand in their direction and uses the other hand to pull up several documents and articles.

“Don’t sweat it. There’s no connection at all. Belonged to a Martin and Elisa Lewis back in the fifties before it was abandoned in the seventies. It was a local haunt where teenagers went to smoke, get drunk, have parties, and do the crazy and reckless things teenagers love to do. One of these reckless things led to a fire and burned the place down. But what’s important is what leaves this place fourty-eight minutes and twenty seconds after (Y/N)’s car enters.”

The video jumps forward in time, resuming as a red SUV pulls off the road and comes back for the stoplight. They can’t manage to get a license plate, the car being recently purchased by the unsub and the paper temporary being stuck to the inside of a tinted window, and they don’t manage to get a good image of the unsub driving. It feels, for a quarter of a second, as if there is no lead at all, until Spencer jumps to his feet.

“We need to see if her car is still there.”

The hour and a half drive takes fifty minutes with their lights on, mud kicking up beneath their tires as they pull into the empty lot. Your car sits abandoned in the middle, your back tires sunk into a pile of mud. The mass collection of blood on your driver’s seat makes Spencer nauseas. Rossi gives him a reassuring pat on the back.

It does nothing for Spencer’s nerves. He is truly the worst guardian angel ever.

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #criminal mind imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds self insert

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yugyummygot7reactions · 4 years ago

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Behind the Curtain - Chapter 1

| Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Epilogue |

Updates are Sundays at 5pm PST!

Characters: Mark Tuan x You Genre: Smut Warning(s): Voyeurism, Masturbation, Edging Word Count: 1,198

‘After wandering the halls of the high level living quarters, you hear a noise coming from a room you know to be Mark’s bedroom. You walk over and peek through the slightly cracked door before quickly looking away to catch your breath. That slight glimpse of the man in his room made you realize exactly what you needed to do. ‘

You took another deep breath looking through the open crack of Mark’s door to make sure you saw what you thought. Just as you thought, the surveillance expert was laying on his bed, clothes discarded haphazardly on the floor, chest and face flushed red with arousal as he stroked his fully erect member. As soft moans escaped his gently parted lips, you quickly realize that Mark didn’t know his door wasn’t closed.

His hand began at his thick base, gently constricting his cock until he reached the tip, where he ran his thumb slowly over the slit, spreading a bead of pre cum over the head. He huskily moaned out, louder this time than before. You could feel your own arousal twitch at the sound.

Mark slowly bit his lip, his chocolate locks falling into his eyes as his pace began to quicken.

You questioned why you were just watching him pleasure himself. You could easily knock and let him know you were there, you could just walk in and ask if he wants some help, but for some reason, you felt the urge to just wait and watch through the crack in the door. Mark whined, thrusting his hips into his own hand. You could see that he was chasing his end as he began to move faster, his pace becoming jerky. He squeezed his eyes shut and then suddenly stopped, removing his hand from his throbbing cock before he could release.

After calming his breathing down, Mark leaned over to his nightstand and pulled a few items out. You looked away for a moment to compose yourself, not noticing that the man in front of you barely opened one eye to make sure you were still standing there. When you looked back you saw Mark lick his lips and continue his strokes slowly. After a few pumps, he grabs a metal ring and with a little lube, slowly slides it onto his erection, shuddering at the new feeling.

Mark slowly sat up, and turned around onto all fours. His milky white ass high up in the air, legs slightly spread. He grabbed the bottle of lube and generously coated his fingers, adjusting his weight onto just one arm. He then slowly began working one lube coated finger into his entrance, wincing a bit at the initial discomfort. A shaky moan escapes his slightly puffy lips as he begins to move his finger.

After pumping in and out a few times, he presses on, wriggling in a second finger beside the first one, his puckered hole struggling to accommodate the new addition. He spread his legs farther as he continued to stretch himself out. His fingers moved swiftly and Mark suddenly screamed out. At first, and much to your disappointment, you thought he had already cum and the show was over. You quickly realized that his fingers continued to thrust in and out and that he had actually found his sweet spot . Mark was riding that pleasure towards his orgasm. With a new eagerness, Mark added a third finger, thrusting in harder and harder.

He was moaning shamelessly now, grinding down on his fingers hard, willing them to go deeper.

You were chewing at your own lips, clenching together to stop your arousal from growing as you watched the sight unfold before you. Mark kept going at a rough pace, his moans growing louder with each thrust of his fingers. His movements once again became jerky and he pulled his fingers out and flipped over onto his back, once again checking quickly that you were still watching.

He let himself breathe for a bit, his blood pounding through his body. His shaky hands smoothed across his abdomen, and ran through his now damp hair before landing on his erect nipples. Mark pinches his nipples, his back arching off the bed when he uses his nails to get more pain out of it. He continues to pinch and twist them, his moans growing as he pushes himself farther into bliss. You can see his cock leaking, a stead stream of pre cum dripping down. Mark occasionally moves a hand down to pick some up, using it as lube on his nipples. After he has pinched and massaged them into very stiff peaks, he reaches for two small metal devices on the bed and clamps them tightly over his nipples, his cock twitching at the new sensation.

Once his nipples adjust to the new addition, he spreads his legs wide and began stroking his neglected member roughly.

Suddenly, his movements become erratic before you see his body lock up. His head tilts back and a very prominent vein in his neck sticks out as he came harder than you’d ever seen a man come before.

As he came, Mark moaned out a name... one you never expected…yours.

As soon as the name slipped off of his well-bitten lips, the surveillance expert met your wide eyes with his own hooded ones as he screamed out your name again, as a second wave of pleasure hit him when he removed the cock ring.

“Y/N!"

You immediately tensed, watching Mark’s hot seed cover the bed sheets, as you realized you had been caught.

You stood frozen, watching Mark wipe himself down before you panicked and pulled away from the doorway.

Before your brain could register that you needed to leave, Mark’s door opened and the naked man stood before you, hair disheveled, nipple clamps still attached, and a weary half smile on his face. The smell of lemon and vanilla overtook your senses as you locked eyes with him, feeling something strange fluttering in your chest.

“I know it can be lonely here,” Mark started as he lazily looked into your eyes, “and relationships don’t happen often in our line of work because of the all of the time we spend in meetings and the danger of it all,” he swallowed hard before taking your hand, “but if you’re lonely, you can come find me anytime.”

He smiled and ran his other hand through his hair, “Next time…maybe you can help instead of just watch?” He hesitantly bit his lip before kissing you on the cheek and wishing you a goodnight.

As his door closed and you heard the lock turn, you realized that Mark’s classification was clear.

The quiet boy who spends more of his time with cameras and computers than people might have done some dark things with Got7, but in his heart, he was pure light.

You retreated back to your room to lay out a plan for the rest of the week. 1 down, 6 to go.

You knew that you needed to work your way up to some of the more closed off members, especially since you didn’t really have to do any work to seduce Mark and learn more about him. What you needed was to build up experience to be able to break the walls of someone as powerful as Got7′s head kingpin by the end of the week. Tomorrow would have to be someone you knew you could easily seduce.

Who better to start with than Mr. Innocence and Sunshine himself.

Choi Youngjae.

_______________________________________________________________________

Hello My Lovelies!

Chapter 1 is done!! What do you think??

I’m also curious about what you think Youngjae will be? Light or Dark?

Let me know your thoughts!!

~LoLo

#got7 #got7 series #behind the curtain #kpop #kpop series #smut #got7 smut #kpop smut #yugyummygot7reactions #mark tuan #got7 mark

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bensoloslover · 4 years ago

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her.

Kylo ren x Force Sensitive! Reader

(She/ Her Pronouns)

Preview: Madam (L/N) is called aboard to the Supremacy to discuss the terms of an alliance with the First Order. She gets much more than she expected when she finds she has a very special connection with a certain dark harried man

Y/N’s POV

The Debutont, Mega- class Lead Ship of The Dowarly, Deep Space.

“Madam (L/N), the supremacy has requested you attend a meeting to discuss an alliance with The First Order.” Mela stated as she entered your office quarters, carrying her holopad in one hand and interplanetary communicates device in the other.

The Supremacy. Oh how you loathed the idiots who ran that joint. Between them and their whole little empire knock off, otherwise known as the First Order, you could give a womp rats ass about forming an alliance with them.

“First, I’ve asked you to address me as by my name when we’re not in a formal setting. Second, Why exactly would they believe we’d want to form an alliance with them?” You mused looking up at your darling assistant, Mela, who’d be with you since you became head of the coven for The Dowarly. The Coven consisted of a chosen representative from each planet allied with The Dowarly, and the leader of the organization, otherwise known as you.

What’s The Dowarly some might ask? It’s an mostly neutral interplanetary state, dedicated to protecting their allies from the ravages of the war. With its allies choosing not to join either side of the war.

“Not a clue. But they’ve been begging for years. Also with so many of our allied planets thinking of joining, maybe it’s time you at least consider meeting to hear their offer before they make us an enemy, (Y/N).” Mela replied as she took a seat in your office.

“When you speak like that Mela I am tempted to give you a seat on The Coven, even if you’d never accept it.” You laughed as you sat back and weighed your options. Even with Dowarly’s promise of protection and peacekeeping within its allies wall, and it’s neutral stance in the ever growing war between planets, more and more planets had been making the move to either alliance with The Resistance or The First Order.

“I’d hate it, I’d rather just feed you my ideas as your humble assistant and watch them unfold from behind the scenes.” Mela laughed. You’d always thought her to be the smartest person you knew. She’d been your best friend at the academy, you’d grown up together, and when your grandmother passed down her seat at the table to you when you were 19, just a year before her passing, you’d without second thought chosen her to be your right hand woman and most trusted advisor.

“What have you heard from The Coven members about meeting with The Supremacy? I’m sure many of them have been asked to represent their plants.” You asked, knowing Mela had been keeping up with the topic since eventhing started.

“Most of them have already met with them. The rest are waiting for your call. Most will follow The Dowarly’s lead whether we decided to stay neutral or to join the First Order under Supreme Leader Snoke.

“Then let’s prepare the ship, we have a meeting to attend, and once this is over call The Coven to meet so we can state our decision.” You smiled as you stood, your hand outstretched as your saber flew off its pedestal beside you.

“Shall I Call the dressers to get you something sent up that’s… appropriate for a formal meeting perhaps?” Mela mused as she looked at your uniform up and down, with a look that said ‘I dare you to say no.’ “Make sure they prepare something for you too, if I’m stuck meeting with the Supreme Leader, so are you.” You laughed as you both made your way to the hangers of the ship.

Location: The Surprency.

You knew in this moment if your grandmother could see you now, dressed like a queen of some planet in the Outer Rim, walking up to the outside door of Supreme Leader Snoke’s Throne Room, she would have slapped you for even stepping foot on this ship. Let alone what she’d done if she heard you were staying on it for the next week. Force. This is dumb. This was very very dumb.

Your grandmother’s parents had denounced their monarchy, and in her young adult years she had become the senate representative of their home planet, Centonia. She was dear friends with the late Organa Family of Alderaan, who’s daughter is not only the face of the rebellion/ resistance, but also your late mother’s best friend. Though your mother had passed when you were only 3 years old, your grandmother had told you stories of the two of them growing up.

You’d always wondered if she would remember you if she saw you now. You had only met her three or four times as a child, mostly in passing at import meetings and events held by your grandmother. One of the last times you saw her was at your coronation and at your grandmother’s funeral. It was quick, it only felt like she’d said hello and given her condolences before she’d left the planet on urgent business, you were only Twenty at the time and you were too distracted to hear exactly what she said before she left.. Something about her son and her brother's Jedi temple, if you’re not mistaken.

That was well over five years ago now though. God you’ve gotten old.

You’d always thought she was the coolest person ever though. A princess turned General of a Rebellion Group, fighting for their beliefs, plus she was force sensitive? She was everything any little girl would dream of being at your age. At your mother's funeral she told you that if you ever needed anything that you were always welcome. She even offered to take you in as a child when you’d been discovered to be force sensitive, having a son maybe three years older than you with the same abilities.

Stars, did you feel like a traitor at this point. Your grandmother, mother, and the closest thing to another relative you’d ever had would absolutely knock you upside the head for this. You also couldn’t help but think of ways an alliance with the First Order would be beneficial.

“Are you ready to enter Madam (L/N), I was told to announce your arrival.” Said the First Order Captain standing by the doors, her silver armor and perfect posture making her look intimidatingly powerful. Phasma you’d remember her saying her name was when she met you when you docked your ship.

You looked down at your dress, smoothing down the black velvet fitted to your body. Too much you’d thought when you noticed almost everyone dressed in uniform here. Mela was beside you in a navy gown, she’d agreed the dresser had gone a little too hard with your attire, but it was too late now. You adjusted your lightsaber on your navy leather belt, now or never I guess.

“I’m ready.” You started, but then cleared your throat once again. “Also, please announce Mela Montanno, my advisor as well, her opinion is vital to my decision and her presence at this meeting is significant.” You spoke as you reached for Mela who looked as stunned as you could assume the Captain looked under her helmet.

“Yes Madam.” Phasma said, she turned to the doors and knocked twice, the shuffle of feet could be heard and the doors to the throne room were pulled open by two guards clad in red armor.

“Introducing Madam (Y/N) (L/N) of Centonia, Granddaughter of Rosemary (L/N), and esteemed leader of The Dowarly. And Mela Montanno, her distinguished Personal Advisor.” Phasma’s voice seemed to echo throughout the hall as you and Mela walked side by side through the doors into the red throne room. Phasma branched left and kneeled next to a ginger haired and a dark haired man kneeling next to the foot of snokes throne.

Kylo’s POV.

(L/N). Force sensitive. He’d surely heard that name before. Kylo could almost remember the day he’d heard his mother tell his father that she’d offered to take in the (L/N) girl. Force sensitive. She hoped her presence would be good for him. He’d only been ten years old at the time.

“What a pleasure to be in the presence of (Y/N) the Divine Ruler of The Dowarly. The last of a long line of royals and a force user if I’m not mistaken.” Supreme Leader Snoke spoke, Kylo could still hear their heels click against the floor as they approached the throne. “Ren, Hux, Phasma, rise please and greet our guests.”

As Kylo stood he looked up and saw her approaching. Her (H/C) hair shines under the light, her (S/C) complimented perfectly by the black velvet hugging her curves. Her strides powerful and head held high, her aura dripping with the confidence of a queen.

She was stunning. He knew he wasn’t the only one who thought so when he heard General Hux gulp next to him.

“It’s an honor to be here Supreme Leader Snoke, though my grandmother Madam (L/N) II was the Divine Ruler of The Dowarly. I’m simply the Leader of The Dowarly. Madam (L/N) would be fine.” She spoke, her voice sounded angelic yet strong. Her words were confident and precise.

Everything about her screamed power. As he took her in he saw the lightsaber attached to her hip. He knew then she was the little girl his mother had offered to take in. She had to have been. From what General Hux had told him about her family, they’d all died off long ago, her being the soul survivor of her bloodline.

Kylo almost couldn’t take his eyes off her, how he wished he had his mask at this point. At least it wouldn’t make it feel as wrong to be looking at her. He tried to clear his mind of her, Supreme Leader Snoke would surely notice his wandering thoughts.

“Well Madam (L/N), it is an honor to have you here. This is my apprentice Kylo Ren, and General Hux of the First Order. I know you’ve already become acquainted with Captain Phasma. They are here to help discuss the benefits of our alliance, for both sides of the party.” Snoke spoke proudly as he gestured to Kylo and the others with him.

When their eyes met Kylo could feel his heart skip a beat. Her (E/C) eyes pierced holes into his dark ones. That’s when he felt it. The force. The draw. The energy in the room shifted. As if the stars and planet had aligned themselves for this.

He felt her.

(Y/N)‘s POV

Suddenly everything in the room seemed to stop. All noises faded into the background as I locked eyes with him.

He felt so familiar.

Like, someone she’d known before, but she’d never seen him before. She’d surely remember someone so beautiful. Oh god this is supposed to be my first meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke and I’m staring at his apprentice. Shit.

(Y/N) turned away to look back at Snoke, but she couldn’t help but feel the waves of disappointment almost roll off of Kylo. This was already weird and it was only going down hill now.

“It’s an honor to meet you all. I look forward to our meeting about a future alliance. I hope we can come to a mutual agreement.” (Y/N) said, braving another glance towards the dark haired mysterious man, who seemed to be looking anywhere but her, thankfully.

Supreme Leader Snoke smirked, turning his head towards his followers. “Ren.” He said with a tone sharp enough to cut the tension in the room like butter. “Would you please show Madam (L/N) around the ship, and then escort their shared quarters. It should be right near yours. And General Hux, could you escort Lady Mela back to their ship to help receive their bags, and then escort her to their quarters as well. Then you both can be their personal escorts for the remainder of the trip. We wouldn’t want anything or anyone getting lost.”

“Yes sir, Supreme Leader. Captain Phasma could you please arrange a group of stormtroopers to help with the luggage, right this way Lady Mela.” Hux spouted off, holding out a hand to Mela with a warm smile, looking almost relieved to be able to leave the room. Mela on the other hand gave you a painful smile and squeezed your hand goodbye.

“Thank you, it was an honor, Supreme Leader.” Mela bowed and turned to the ginger haired man still holding his hand out to her. “Thank you General Hux.” Mela smiled. Taking his hand and letting him guide her. “Armitage is fine ma’am.” He replied as he led the both of them out the door, you could hear Mela giggle on her way down the hall. Dammit.

“Yes Supreme Leader, right the way Madam (L/N).” Kylo gestured as he walked towards the door. Unlike Mela you didn’t receive a hand, arm, or even a warm smile. Great. At least he’s as uncomfortable as I am, you thought to yourself as you two made your way towards the elevator at the end of the hall.

Force save me now.

“Ladies first.” Kylo spoke softly as the elevator doors opened in front of them, stepping aside so you could enter. Nervous? Why do I feel so nervous, you thought. I’ve been around plenty of powerful men before. Hell I just spoke to The Supreme Leader of The First order. I wonder if he can feel how nervous I am. I can feel how uncomfortable he is. Or maybe he's nervous too. Maybe I should say something.

“This is a huge ship, definitely bigger than our debutont.” Oh god that was dumb.Now we sound like an dumbass. God I’m Dumb.

“Yes. It is large. It’s one of our Mega- class Star Dreadnoughts. It houses our most esteemed Generals and Supreme Leader Snoke.” Kylo spoke, the words coming out flatly. You've already annoyed your tour guide and it's been two minutes, good going. Try and make it less awkward please (Y/N/N).

“So you must spend a lot of time here then?” Worse but whatever, guess you're trying to make the First Order hate Dowarly.

“I reside on the finalizer most of my time, I'm only here for as long as you are Madam (Y/N).” Kylo spoke out, once again very monotonically.

“Since we’ll be spending some time together this week, (Y/N) is perfectly fine outside of formal setting Mr. Ren? …” Moving to a first name basis so fast? Brave. Maybe it'll break the ice some. I thought while looking up to the man next to me. God he’s tall..

“Kylo is fine, (Y/N).” He turned his face to mine and once our eyes locked again it was like I was thrown back in time.

“Leia …” Was all I could utter before I felt myself fall before too large arms grabbed my shoulders.

Fin.

Thank you for reading! Please feel free to send me feedback if you liked it!

#ben solo x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #ben solo x you #kylo x you #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #y/n

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wickedgamesoyaoya · 4 years ago

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Amnesia - Hearts ~ Aug 4.

Malignant emptiness had secured reign over your heart. Slowly it spread throughout your system, beginning its quest to contaminate the liquid coursing through your veins. Not a single atom would be spared – each memory attached to your skin would be vanquished. The simplest touches to the warmth of your best friend, nothing would remain. Any efforts to combat the virus plaguing you was futile; you were no match for the craftsmanship of an ethereal being. As your final memory was seized by the excruciating cleanse, the person you once were ceased to exist. Born anew, y/n, welcome to your game.

The sound of foreign voices engaged in casual conversation had jolted awake your dormant senses. Due to your malfunctioning hippocampus, your face had naturally scrunched up as fragments of still-shots flickered inside of your head, resembling a filmstrip with numerous punctures. The only image that persisted long after the others incinerated was of a bed-headed male crouched on a staircase, with his face buried in his hands. It was the same male that regarded you with such concern the second your eyelids had fluttered open.

“She’s awake.” Within seconds, the droopy eyed stranger was at your side, his irises searched yours for any sign of injury, while yours struggled to retain any recognition. “Hey, y/n. How are you feeling?”

That was a valid question, one you were not prepared to answer, not because you did not want to. But because you did not know the answer yourself.

Groggily you pressed your hands on either side of the single mattress, as your elbows threatened to cave in, Kuroo slid an arm around you, stabilizing your movements. Behind him Makoto released a sigh, locating a hand to her forehead as she mumbled a comment about her blood-pressure.

Your heart skipped an involuntary beat the second his fingers connected with the fabric draped over your skin. The sensation, however, was prompted by fear, rather than fondness. Kuroo, who had felt your muscles tense, had removed his arm after confirming you were steady.

“Y/n, honey. Can you say something?” Makoto proceeded a cautious step closer, with a reassuring smile on her lips. “Are you in pain?”

Your y/e/c irises focused on the black-haired girl’s ensemble, searching for any indication of where you were or who you were with. A nametag had revealed her identity along with their location – Jack Rose. A small ache developed in your temples as you repeated the café’s name, striving to instigate any recollection. Using two fingers, you applied pressure to the throbbing location, with your gaze settling on your own uniform. Y/n – employee of Jack Rose was sewn into the right corner.

The reality of the situation was beginning to dawn on you. From what you could gather, something had occurred during your shift and now you were experiencing a form of amnesia. Miraculously, the realization had not thrown you into a state of distress. The memories would come back, they would have to... You just needed a trigger.

“I’m okay. Um…Where’s my phone?” The sound of your own voice had startled you – a fact that had chipped away at the little hope you were clinging to. How could you forget yourself? What had happened to you…?

If there was anything that would kick-start your mental processes, it would be past photos or videos. For now, it was vital to discover your relationship to the three people gawking at you.

“She’s asking for her phone, how typical. She’s fine.” Makoto clicked her tongue in distaste, while fetching the device from her apron pocket. “You dropped it when you fainted, silly bird.” She then lobbed the phone towards your lap.

“I don’t know…I still think we shoul’ take her to the hospital.” From the very moment he arrived, Atsumu’s attention had remained secured on you. The older male was tracking your every movement to form mental notes that he could relay if need be to a physician. “What do ya think, ‘surou?”

“If she won’t answer our questions, then we have no choice.” Kuroo’s response did not register as your attention was solely on the smart device held within your palm. The quest to discover your identity began with Twitter – your profile to be exact.

It was strange to say the least to read over your inner thoughts with no recollection. Twitter was in some forms the new generations version of a dairy. What had you meant about acting on your feelings? Feelings for what? Or feelings for who? The guessing game was brought to a pause as an incoming message demanded your attention.

It’s not safe…? The three simple words had punctured your lungs, the air within the confines of the lunchroom could no longer be accepted. Dread etched across your chest, yet the small voice in your head directed you to present yourself as collected.

“Y/n?” Suddenly the blonde male had a palm over your forehead to assess whether you had a fever. During your little exploration, Makoto had exited the room and only the two boys remained.

“I’m fine, guys. But I am a bit tired, do you think I could go home?” A weary smile was forced onto your lips to verify the truth of your words –but it failed to convince either of them.

“You already worked a shift today; I can help in the kitchen. It’s alrigh’. Take her home. But if she doesn’t feel any better, take her to the hospital.” Atsumu lifted his shoulders into a short shrug, the response was evidently directed at the black-haired male who agreed with a nod.

“Okay, let’s go.”

* * *

The journey home was laced with silence, outside of the occasional inquiries from the younger male on your health. He was insistent, you mentally noted, but also endearing. Before leaving Jack Rose, you skimmed through your contacts and following to ascertain the names of those closest to you. The one from earlier was Atsumu – the person you had tweeted about. The girl was Makoto, your co-worker and perhaps one of your best friends. The person who was currently staring at you questionably was Tetsurou. At one point a spark of longing had flashed in his irises, only increasing the guilt hovering over you for forgetting his existence.

Well, if it made him feel any better, you also forgot your own –

“Oi. Where are you going?” Kuroo’s fingers tangled with the fabric of your collar, tugging you a few steps back as you accidentally missed the entrance of your building. “Did you forget where you lived?” The latter part of the sentence was spoken through a slightly higher pitch, demonstrating his growing concern.

“Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought.” Artificial laughter bubbled in your throat, irritating your tonsils in the process.

“If something was wrong, you would tell me, right?” His hands found refuge in his jacket pockets, yet his gaze did not waver from yours. Your attempts to reassure him were once again dismissed instantly. Withholding the truth from him was beginning to become more difficult, and you were unsure whether you could – he was incredibly perceptive.

“Yes… I promise. After some sleep, I’ll be brand-new.” Or so you hoped.

“Okay. I’m going to hold you to that.” Truthfully, there was nothing you could say to ease his concerns. But a promise would suffice for now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Fifteen minutes. Fifteen whole minutes until you were able to determine what apartment number was yours. The task would have been much simpler if you checked your ubereats account rather than scrolling through your messages. A small sliver of hope had ignited within your heart when you twisted the key in the lock, perhaps seeing your apartment would trigger a memory or two. Anything would be helpful at this point; you were sincerely grasping at straws.

Instantly any hope that lingered deflated, only to be replaced with frustration. Answers – you needed answers. Retrieving your phone from your bag, you tapped on messages and alerted the one person who knew about your predicament that you were home.

No, this could not be happening. An elaborate joke, maybe, but not the truth. How could you digest this information – how could anyone? A sob clogged the back of your throat as fear washed over your system. Desperate to confirm you were simply stuck in a warped nightmare, you forced yourself to search the apartment for anything that would make sense. If you had to accept this reality, how could you arm yourself without your memories? Who was friend or foe?

It was only when you crumpled onto the ground in defeat when your eyes landed on a charm glimmering under your bedframe. Attached to the dazzling piece was… a dairy. Instinctively, your fingers brushed along the cover before tugging on the string to where the latest entry was written.

Aug 3rd.

One day will it be different…? Will he wake up and see me differently? Or am I destined to feel this way forever? Ah, unrequited love, the subject of many Shakespearian stories and the source of my latest dilemma. Could he come to love me? See me beyond a sister-figure? The question remains unanswered… and I doubt I shall ever know it. And so, I welcome this bittersweet misery.

Ew, this sounds like a cheesy poem, not a diary entry. I feel sorry for my future self, having to read this garbage. But my problem remains. To be or to not be? Just kidding, this isn’t Hamlet. To tell one of my childhood best friends that I love him or to not? I guess not.

Amnesia - Hearts ~ Aug 4.

Masterlist - Previous - Next

A/N: I really hope the formatting on this didn’t fuck up. someone pls let me know if it did.

Tag-list: @kara-grayson04 @namyari , @cuddlesslut , @iloveanime691 @shakiraisawesome @idiot-juice-enthusiast@fangirling-25-8 @krynnza @yetchann @chxrry-wxne @tsukiak4ri

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smau #haikyuu fanfiction #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo smau

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quackeroos · 5 years ago

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ONE WEEK || Day Five

Pairing: tom holland x dying ex!reader

Summary: you were dying, and tom still loves you. now he plans on loving you ‘til your last breath, and maybe get you to say those three words back to him.

Warnings: swearing, angst

Words: 5.6k

*gif not mine!

General Masterlist | Series Masterlist

YESTERDAY'S EVENTS still hadn't left her mind. Remembering every bit of it only made Y/n's heart thump like crazy. She didn't notice that her heart monitor was beeping so loudly, Jamie had to come and snap her from her thoughts. "Oh god. Don't tell me your having dirty thoughts about Tom!" A pillow met Jamie's face and it made her nose sore.

"Oh, shove off! And keep your voice down, will you?"

Her sister gasps. "So, you were thinking of it!"

Y/n groans in annoyance. Jamie can sometimes be a pain in the arse. "It's not that you twat!"

"Then what was it that made your heart go coo coo?"

Y/n didn't answer. She laid back on her bed and continued switching the channels on the telly. A smirk grows on her sister's face. "Okay, I'm assuming it's about Tom, but it's not anything erotic." She only answered with a low grumble.

The door shifts open and closes with a thud. "I'm back!" the person bellowed. Speak of the devil. Jamie eyes her sister with a smirk, but all y/n could do was ignore her sand blush. She wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. Tom settles down his backpack and takes his seat beside y/n's bed.

"Mornin' love," he greets. "How are you feeling?"

She shifted from her bed and sat upright. "I don't feel completely shitty, thanks for asking." Tom chuckles as he was fixing up his meal. "Thank you, by the way, for yesterday. I had a lot of fun." The brunette takes her hand and brings it up to his lips. A soft kiss planted on the top of her hand and he smiles, still not letting go of hers. All y/n could do was grin softly.

The morning went on peacefully. Jamie went to her university to pass her final papers for the semester, leaving the two alone in the room. Unlike before, tension filled the air. But compared to now, the two were at ease, comfortable in their space with each other.

Tom laid his head on Y/n's stomach, their hands still intertwined. His other hand poked at her stomach only for it to bounce right back up, he found it very entertaining. was a lazy Friday afternoon. They were already at their 6th movie of the day, and the time they would only move is when they had to go to the bathroom or change positions.

Tom stood up from his seat and stretched his back with a loud yawn escaping his mouth. "Alright, I'm bored. Maybe we should take a walk around the hospital."

Y/n groaned, "I kinda don't wanna leave my bed yet."

"Oh, come on, please?"

"Make me."

His thin lips pouted; eyes turned soft making it seem like he was a puppy. God, Y/n hated him for pulling that card. He knew she couldn't resist that face, his perfectly goddamn adorable face. "Wise move, Holland." her eyes rolled.

Tom winks at her. "Knew you wouldn't resist that."

"You're so full of yourself!" He was right though.

His strong arms slid under her and lifted her up with no effort. Once placed on her wheelchair Tom takes out his phone and sends a text, pocketing the device before pushing her out of the room.

As always, the nurses they pass by greet the two warmly, and some stopping Tom for a quick selfie, along with patients. From the side, Y/n teasingly scoffs, "Movie Star."

"Don't worry Moonshine," Tom leaned in towards her ear, "You're still my favourite girl." and he kissed the top of her hand before pushing her again. The trip around the buildings was slow, but it made y/n appreciate her surroundings more. (Only if there were windows to the outside world, of course.) They passed by the children's ward, silently watching them on little desks who were colouring and drawing on some sketchbooks and reading a storybook with their favourite toy. They've already explored every building, so Tom parked by the side and faced her.

"Well, we've walked around every building. Wanna head back to your room? I think Jamie's already back from uni." He looks at the time on his phone. When the elevator opened, he brings up his hand to press their floor.

"Wait, I wanna make one more stop."

"To the rooftop?"

She shook her head. "Let's go to the fourth floor." The doors opened with a ding and Tom pushed out. "Take a right and straight through those doors." The hall seemed to be isolated. There wasn’t a lot of people on the floor, just some nurses doing their rounds and the two of them.

"You're not leading me to a kill zone, right?" he joked.

"Believe me Movie Star, if I was gonna kill you it would be in an abandoned warehouse, not an empty hallway."

Tom pushed through the double doors. Their surroundings turned a but dark, and the bright lights that guided their ways was from the window to their left. "Is this the-"

Her hum echoes the hallway. Tom stood beside her and leaned towards the glass to take a closer look at the newly born infants. All of them were wrapped like little burritos, so small with their cheeks that look so soft. They slept peacefully while the nurses cared for them. Tom glanced at y/n, she was looking at one particular baby, the one inside an incubator with wires attached to its little body.

Tom could see y/n's emotional attachment to the baby, and it made him wonder, did she go here often? He had to ask.

"Sometimes, when I just feel like it. Every time I was confined here, I always used to go here to clear my head and give me some inner peace. This was the next best thing in the hospital; the rooftop garden being my number one, obviously." she chuckled.

Silence consumed the air once again. A nurse enters the nursery with an infant wrapped in a pink blanket. She was placed on the little crib and her name was on full display for the any passerby. The nurse notices their presence and sends y/n a wave and a look that only she could understand. Tom wondered what it meant but brushed it off, it didn't seem that important.

"I usually come here when I feel lost, most of the time when I was actually losing hope at living." His head snapped towards her.

"Turns out I found a little ray of hope in that little bundle of joy." She points at the incubated baby. "I thought to myself, this little one is probably fighting for himself to live, while I was here waiting for my life to end. I figured, if I tried living a little, maybe I'd get to see him out of the incubator one day. He was always a fighter, you know?"

"How long 'til he gets out?"

"Less than a month." Silence consumed the air again before she spoke. "You know, these past few days, you’ve been nothing but be a big help to me and Jamie. I just want to say Thank you, for being here right now and for-" She struggled to let it out. What did she wanted to say anyway? Y/n forgot as soon as Tom levelled with her line of sight.

His hand reached out towards her, and the tips of his finger landed on her right cheek. The sudden contact made her blush like a lovesick teenager—She sure felt like one too. His hand pulls back and his index and thumb seemed to hold something in between. "Make a wish." he said. Y/n wanted to question but he gave her a knowing look that said, "Just do it." Eyes closed, her mind formulated tons of it, but none of it were what her heart really desired. Maybe it was because her wish had already come true? Nevertheless, she wished for the other thing her heart desired most.

Her eyes open and she sees Tom still in front of her with his index and thumb still enclosed. "Up or down?"

She laughs, "What?"

"Just choose, up or down?"

Y/n rolled her eyes, not knowing where he was getting at, but she replies with, "Up".

Tom opens his fingers, and on top revealed a single eyelash. He blows it away with a childish smile. "I heard from someone that when there's a stray eyelash in your face you should make a wish."

"Oh really?" She smirked. "Then I guess you have to make one too." Her fingers lightly brushed his faced, picking up the single strand of eyelash and holding it up in a pinch. "Go on, make a wish." Eyes closed, Tom only thought of one thing.

"Down."

Her finger lifts. Blows it away as soon as it was in the open air. "So, what did you wish for?" she asked.

"To have a shit ton of candy."

Y/n playfully rolled her eyes at his childishness. She didn't press him any further, there was no point at beating Tom when it came to his immature personality. He has a mind of an eight-year-old, and sometimes, he would have his fair share of maturity Not always though.

It was nice though, that even though she was so mean and hard on him on the first day, Tom knew how to soften her up.

***

The rest of the afternoon, Y/n had spent the day at her bed, resting, preparing herself mentally and physically for the operation that will happen in less than eight hours. Tom was out to who knows where, no one dared tell her. The moment the two came back to the room, Tom laid beside her with the little space she gave to him. He put her to sleep by watching a bit of sit-coms and stroke her forehead with his finger, trailing off to the tip of her nose.

Getting out of bed was a tricky situation for him. His arm was under her body, and she was cuddled in next to him. He thought it was cute, didn't want to leave even. But Tom had to finish up things before she wakes up, and first order of business: getting out of the predicament. As quiet, gently and carefully as possible, he replaced his body with one of her pillows and leaves Y/n in the care of her sister.

And so, Y/n wakes up, with a pillow right beside her and a humming Jamie, typing away on her laptop. She catches her attention when she sat up. "Still haven't finished your book yet?" she asked. Her sister replies with a tight-lipped face and a shake of her head. "I'm kind of stuck actually. I don't know what to do after this one scene then transitioning it to the other."

"Well, you'll figure it out somehow. By the way, have you seen Tom?"

"Nope. Not a clue."

Y/n shot her a look, fully knowing that her sister was lying. She also had the same gut feeling she had yesterday - that or she's just assuming. Jamie kept silent and continued typing in her laptop. Y/n stopped questioning about Tom because she knew that her sister will eventually have to make a move to set her up or tell her about it directly. "Hey sis, how do you feel about wearing a dress, outside the hospital, at night?" bingo.

"I'll feel cold and say that you're a fucking lunatic." she laughed upon receiving a gentle smack on her head. Jamie rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed, "Tough luck sis, 'coz that's exactly what you'll be wearing tonight." The teen pulled out an ugly red Christmas sweater and a white skirt. Y/n's eyes shifted from the outfit to her sister giving her the "really?" look.

"Jamie it's autumn, and I'm already freezing myself enough inside this damn room."

"Which is why I brought your coat, scarf, beanie and boots." She drops an imaginary mic and mocked her sister continuously with her ridiculous face. Y/n coughs and laid back down. Jamie was a goofball, a complete goofball. But she knew her sister was very persistent on things, especially when it comes to her love life — hence all the set-ups with Tom all throughout their relationship, until now.

"You are enjoying this way too much." she made sure to be evident with sarcasm.

"Yup! Not gonna deny it. Now hurry up you old bean! We can't make them wait you know."

And so, just like yesterday, Y/n had let Jamie take the wheel. Fixing her up again, but leaving her face bare. Because according to Jamie: "A no-makeup-look is the trend nowadays. And besides, you despise wearing too much of it." She closes her kit and takes Y/n coat, wrapping it around her too keep her from the cold.

"Ready to go, Madam?"

***

The trip to the "surprise" was fairly short. It took Y/n and Jamie less than 10 minutes to arrive because it was at the hospital. Her sister pressed the top floor of the building; to the rooftop garden. She wondered, why there? People rarely visit it at night unlike during the day where the patients could sit under the sun and take a whiff of the smell of flowers. Before she could even pop the question, it seems that her sister had already read her mind. "You'll see why. Now hush."

Her well-known grin displayed on her face when the elevator tinged! The steel doors open to a dark open area. If Y/n didn't know any better, she would've thought that this was a plot to kill her or something. But since she wasn't in a serial killer movie, it totally couldn't be that. Although scared, Y/n was pushed to the middle of it all. The doors of the elevator closed and left along with the only source of light they had except for the moon, stars and a few buildings around the area.

She craned her neck towards Jamie, asking for an explanation. But she shakes her head, and nods off to the direction towards her, making Y/n face it. Little by little, lights lit up around the place, illuminating the once dark area. Strings of fairy lights hung above her, the fountain was alive, and lights outlined it and the water inside it. And at the end of the area, it's last light lit up, and the face that had given her hope in the last three years she had lived in solitude was there.

He was wearing his usual outfit; the iconic jacket over hoodie look. As comfortable as it looked, it also suited him and the cold British weather. In his hand were a bouquet of Baby's breath and Sunflowers. An adorable smile grew on his face as he slowly approached her, and on cue, Jamie took a step back and left her alone with him.

When he was already in front of her a crouched down, holding out flowers for her with a goofy grin. "Jamie said you were looking for me?"

"That's because you were sleeping next to me, then the moment I wake up you were gone. So yes, I was looking for you."

"I'd say you missed me too much. Am I really such a catch? Maybe you're obsessing over me, love." he said with a teasing grin. Y/n scoffed playfully, it was hard not to respond, she loved having playful banters with him. Half of it might be true, but of course Y/n doesn't need to tell him that.

"You are in over your head, Holland. Might wanna get off that cloud."

"Gladly milady. But only if you'll agree to join me for dinner." Behind him revealed a table set for two. The scenery behind it, was beautiful. The buildings with lights and Big Ben made the dark background alive. Tom pushed her wheelchair towards the table, and he sat perpendicular to her. Everything was put together perfectly It made Y/n wonder: How long did he prepare all of this?

"You never cease to amaze me, Tom." A look of admiration and love. Tom could see it fully, in her eyes and in her smile. She was glowing. It was the same look he saw yesterday and the past years he had been dating her. It lit a flame in his heart. And he only thought of one thing at that very moment.

He can't wait to wake up every morning with that look of love by his side.

***

This is so cliche, Y/n thought. Tom had asked Sam to cook a bowl of spaghetti and his other friends to play "Bella Notte" in the background. At the corner of her eye, she could see Harry, documenting everything like a supportive mother. No doubt, Tom asked him to do it. It was a "Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene" come to life. The idea of replicating it was just so romantic and at the same time ridiculous. "What made you think of doing this Tom?" she laughed.

"I don't know. Maybe the thought of accidentally kissing you while eating spaghetti? You gotta admit it though, the Lady and the Tramp; best romantic movie ever."

"Yeah sure, romantic. But I prefer the iconic Heath Ledger scene."

"I'll make a note of that." He joked. Tom ate a mouthful of spaghetti and began slurping. A goofy grin plastered on his face, he managed to get his desired reaction from Y/n.

"Ugh gross! Have some table manners you pig!" Tom only laughed at her, not caring that she was absolutely annoyed at him. He loved seeing her pissed off face, it was entertaining. "Look at your face, you look like a child! Wipe your face with a napkin, you dingus."

An idea popped in his head, and a smirk grew on his face. Y/n did not like the mischievous look. "Why wipe it with a napkin when I have you to wipe it for me."

"I'm not your mother, Tom." She deadpanned. "Just pick up the napkin and wipe the goddamn sauce off of your face, simple as that."

Like a child, he shook his head. "Uh-uh!"

"The napkin is right there, Tom." With no second thoughts, he threw the napkin away and smiled innocently. Y/n muttered curses in her head. She hated his stubborn ass, mostly for the times when he would use it to start a banter and piss her to no end. She took her own napkin and handed it across the table. But instead of taking it, Tom had leaned forward and put his hands behind his back. "Take the napkin, Holland. I'm not a damn babysitter." But he didn't budge. Tom sat there, batting his puppy eyes innocently at her. She groaned in annoyance, hating his stupid smile. She knew that he was enjoying it, how could he not? The stupid grin was plastered on the dumbass's face. Dreading to just get the job done, she leaned forward and dab the cloth on the side of his lip.

"Thank you~" he sang. But a pissed off Y/n wasn't at all amused at him. She crumpled the napkin into a ball and threw it in his face. Tom thought it to be hostile, but unbeknownst to him, Y/n was actually playing along.

She threatened him, "Do that again, I'm throwing off of this building."

But both of them knew it was an empty threat. Y/n could do it, no doubt, but she liked to follow her personal ethics. Tom only laughed at her, "Sure you will, love."

***

As soon as dinner was finished, the two sat at one of the benches and looked at the sky. Y/n loved looking at the night sky, almost as much as how she loved looking at the blue and cloudy one during day. She was fond of looking for constellations, but she never really knew the names, so she would just make one up whenever she would find a pattern in a sky. Tom discovered this at a time when they were sitting on the roof of her house. "I see.... a chicken."

She paused for a moment to scan for a pattern, humming as she does. "I see... a log."

"I see a dog with airplane wings."

"I see pyramid."

"I see.... a duck with a jaguar head, singing karaoke with a dolphin wearing a top hat and a monocle."

Y/n tries to hide back her laugh and turns to face him. It was by far the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. "What? There's no way you could've spotted that. You're just making things up!"

"And what if I am? I do have a wild imagination, you know.

She scoffed in defeat. "Whatever dude. You've always been such a big baby." The air was quiet once again, and they sat comfortably. Y/n was at ease, after three long years of keeping Tom out of her life, she was glad to finally have him by side. Without even thinking, she laid her head on his shoulder, and in return, Tom wrapped his arm around her. His warmth was so comfortable, like a weighted blanket that covered her body. He sighed in the air, also comfortable with the intimacy and her company. It had already been years, and yet, his heart beats so fast at the action she had initiated.

"Do you think the hospital will let us sleep here for the night?" She wondered.

"Why? you getting tired already?"

"Nah. I just wanna sleep under the stars. Who knows, maybe I might spot a shooting star?" Y/n yawned quietly.

"Wait wait wait, I still have something prepared. Keep those eyes open, darling!"

Y/n groaned. "Don't tell me you're doing another serenade!"

"Oh hush! You love my serenades!" She rolled her eyes, not even fighting back because it was true. Tom took his guitar from behind the bench and secured its strap around him. Tom started strumming the tune. Y/n had recognized the song when he sang its first line.

"I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad Carry you around when your arthritis is bad All I wanna do is grow old with you"

"I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches Build you a fire if the furnace breaks Oh, it could be so nice, growing old with you"

Just like before, Tom spared no second from looking away at her. And of course, the intense gaze that he held maid her melt. She couldn't help but not look away too. How could she tear her eyes away from him?

"I'll miss you Kiss you Give you my coat when you are cold Need you Feed you Even let you hold the remote control"

Tom could only hope that Y/n was getting the message he wanted to convey through the song. He had been waiting to do it for so long. The ring had been kept in one of his drawers, left inside to be built up by dust. He never thought it would ever seen the light of day. Yet here he was, singing to her, with the velvet box in his pocket, hoping that she would understand. Saying it in person was nerve-racking. The first time he did it made him anxious, even now. Although the singing did help him ease up a bit.

"So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink Oh, I could be the man who grows old with you I wanna grow old with you"

The song ended with a strum and Y/n clapped for him with a proud smile. She joked, "Always had been an entertainer. Thank you for the song, kind sir." Tom tucked away his guitar and faced her with his hands in his lap. "So.... did you-uhm... get the message of the song?" Y/n only sat there, oblivious. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. She knew the song meant growing old with your other half, but that's just about it. There were a number of possibilities Tom had wanted to convey through the song, and one stood out. She didn't want to believe it though; it might just be her.

"Uhm... No. I'm not sure really." she winced. God, she hated the feeling. It was like the time she rejected his proposal. Tom sat there with his thoughts. She might have gotten a piece of it, maybe she just wouldn't admit it? It didn't bother him at all, really. The song was just phase one of his plan, the real show was just about to start. He lifts his hand and waved over to Sam, who was at the other side of the garden, now sitting by his keyboard piano. Y/n, curious at the sudden call for his brother, she asked, "Why what happened? Is there something wrong?"

"No. Just told Sam to play something for me."

"What?" And as if on cue, Sam played a beautiful melody that danced in the cold air. And Zendaya had stepped out from the shadows with a mic in hand, she waved at the two with a smile.

Tom stood up from his seat and held out his hand. Y/n only looked at it, not getting what he wanted her to do. Her mind had only understood when Tom uttered the words, "Dance with me."

She laughed, but soon died down when Tom wasn't laughing with her. "Oh. You're serious?"

"Does it look like I'm joking Y/n? Yes, I am serious."

"Um yeah, I don't think that's a possibility. As you can see, I literally can't move my legs anymore. Jamie mentioned it you before, right?

"Well I for one, believe in miracles. And that everything is possible, even the impossible." She giggled, he was quoting Mary Poppins and although it was ridiculous, it was appropriate enough to be used at the time.

"You trust me, right?" he asked.

She didn't need to decide. She knew in her heart the answer. "Yes. I do." because she always had.

"Then take my hand."

Sighing, Y/n reaches out and take his hand. Tom leaned towards her and scoops is her light body. She circled her arms around his neck as he walked to the center of the garden.

"My mind runs away to you With the thought I hope you'll see Can't see where it's wandered to But I know where it wants to be"

Tom slowly settles down her legs, but Y/n held tighter, not wanting to feel the ground. "Tom, I can't. I'll fall."

"Just trust me, Y/n."

"But-" She was silenced by a knowing look. Y/n nodded, although unsure of what he was planning to do. Tom proceeded to let her legs down for a moment, only to carry the other again. Her arms were wrapped around him the whole time, afraid that she might fall. He settled his arms under her and secured it to carry her weight. It was a bit hard to carry her, now that she wasn't able to lock her legs, but he didn't mind. Tom leaned in towards her and rested his forehead on hers. Soon, he swayed to the song.

"I'm waiting patiently though time is moving slow I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that"

"I haven't had the guts to do this again, you know?" he started.

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"This. Coming back to take care of you, winning you back, Preparing this, the songs. I was scared. Not gonna lie, I am until now." he nervously chuckled.

"So sick of this lonely air It seems such a waste of breath So much that I need to say So much to get off my chest"

"Tom, I don't know where you're getting at." she admitted in defeat.

He struggled a moment to formulate the words, but nevertheless, he spoke, "I love you, okay? So damn much. God, Y/n, I never stopped, even after all these years. But, before you leave, for the next couple of hours you're in that operation room, I just really need to know, if you love me back?"

She was silent, it made Tom anxious as the time passed by. He couldn't read her eyes, what she was thinking. But a wide smile grew on her face and nodded. Tears welled in her eyes and she spoke almost like a whisper, "I've always had."

Tom lets go of the breath he didn't knew he was holding. Relief washed over him. And with no second thoughts he pressed his lips against hers, and he had never been more happy. His heart was racing and mind a bit cloudy.

"You're the one designed for me A distant stranger that I will complete I know you're out there we're meant to be So keep your head up and make it to me Make it to me"

Although taken by surprise, she returned the kiss and allowed him to enter. Y/n melted in his arms, relived to have finally felt his lips against hers again. She had never felt more love in her heart, and she was glad to have finally voice out her feelings. Her heart was beating rapidly, and it felt like it was about to explode. It was running on love, and she wasn't sure when it would stop.

She tore away from him and gasped for air but connected her forehead on his. Nose touching and her eyes trained on him. She uttered the three words he had been longing to hear for three long years.

"I love you."

She kissed him again with more passion, held him closer, and placed her hands on his cheeks. Y/n could feel her heart pump out of her ribcage and wasn't sure if it was something she should worried of or not. Moments ago, her heart felt alive, but now it felt like being crushed and pierced through by knives. It ached in pain, until it had become unbearable.

Tom noticed her becoming intense when she stopped. She gripped tightly on his jacket and started gasping, laying a palm on her chest, and breathing heavily. "I.... c-can't breathe.... Tom, can't b-breathe!!!"

Panic flashed in Tom's eyes and he could feel his heart stop. She felt weak, shaking and gasping for air. Her heart literally felt like it was going to explode! Tom sat her on the fountain and held her hand, shaking violently, hoping she would calm down. "Someone call for help!" he yelled out. Sam and Harry were quick on their feet and used the fire exit to get down as quick as possible. Zendaya took out her cellphone and quickly called Jamie to inform her of the emergency.

"Y/n, love, you're gonna be fine, okay? The twins are gonna come any moment with a nurse and a doctor." Her hand gripped his tightly and it pained Tom to see her like this. It was worse than time she pushed him away. Tears were falling on her cheeks as she kept her eyes on him to try and calm the ache in her heart. He pressed kisses on the roof of her hand and Y/n could feel hot drops of tears falling on her. "Ssshhh You'll be alright, Y/n. It's gonna be alright. I'm here, for you love."

Out from the corner, Harrison arrived with Y/n's wheelchair. "Harry and Sam are here with the nurses, along with Jamie." Tom nodded in thanks and scooped up her body, laying her on the chair and held her hand again. The elevators opened and the people in it filed out and rushed towards Y/n and Tom. Jamie was the last to come out and her eyes were read fear and worry. She gasped at the sight of her sister.

The nurse takes Y/n's wheelchair and pushed her towards the elevator. Tom followed and they rushed towards the emergency room. Although he wanted to follow her inside and make sure she was safe, the nurse stopped him at the door and told him to wait. "I have to be there, please. She might be scared."

"I'm sorry sir, but no one is allowed inside."

"Yes, I know. But I have to be there. S-she's having a panic attack or something! I have to make sure she's alright."

"Sir, we'll be doing our best to take care of your girlfriend. But you need to calm down and stay here for a while."

"No. No! You don't understand! I need to know what's happening to her! That's my girl! You have to let me in!"

"And I promise you sir, you will. But right now, we need to run some tests on her." The nurse politely excuses herself and goes back inside the emergency room. Doctors came in soon and the hallway was quiet again. The windows on the door were small, and it wasn't helping Tom's case at all. He couldn't relax without seeing her. Heavy footsteps and panting echoed in the hallway, Tom assumed it must be the others and Y/n's parents.

Tom sat himself on one of the hospital's steel chairs, hoping that it might help him calm his nerves. His hands were balled up, head hanging low, and eyes stinging with tears. He could hear Jamie crying at the other side of the hallway, worried for her sister. Meanwhile a hand patted his back, and he could see the familiar pair of sneakers that belonged to Harrison. "She'll be fine, Tom." he said in a hushed voice.

Tom only nods, although it didn't actually help that much. He knew she was strong, but he couldn't help but be worried. He sniffled and wiped his nose. He whispered words into the air hoping that someone could hear his prayers and help him and her girl.

"Please be alright. Please be alright, love."

day six of One Week

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