#and that’s just enough to hopefully managed my surface conditions so that we can actually work out what my other problems are

[vaciena]

You wanna know something terrible?

My new med, that I have to take 4 or 8 of a day for forever, costs $1120

It’s literally $40-80 a day for one med

[walviemort]

hidden blessing (7/?)

Summary: Killian thought the only thing he was left with after Milah’s death was a broken heart and a thirst for vengeance. It’s not until he gets to Storybrooke, after so many years spent in stasis, that he discovers something else: he’s carrying her child. How does this new, tiny blessing change his path? (Canon-divergent from 2x12.)

rated T | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | AO3 | 3.4k

a/n: Sorry for the long gap between chapters! Life and all that. But hopefully there will be less gap between this and the next ones, and hope it was worth the wait!

To Killian’s surprise, part of Emma’s plan of preparation was rest; she was pointedly looking at him when she made the suggestion, and honestly, he’d been too relieved at the idea to say anything against it. Even more shockingly, Regina agreed, and for the first time since they’d set foot in this accursed land, Killian finally felt rested; even the nausea had abated, though he was sure it wouldn’t last long.

What did concern him, however, was the sound of David struggling once they finally set off toward Pan’s camp. Snow teased him, but Killian was worried that his brush with the Lost One’s arrow had been far too close.

And then, of course, Pan moved the camp—in the opposite direction that they’d been moving. As usual, Regina was quick to blame him and call for the use of magic. Which was a terrible idea, and he told her so, but did give him another.

“How are we going to find it?” she sniped.

“By using someone he trusts,” he replied, patience waning.

“Who?” David challenged. “Because I guess he certainly doesn't trust you.”

He’d never gain ground with David, would he? “A fairy who lived here when I was about,” he explained, ignoring the jab. “She might still be on the island. She'd be an inside source, knows all about the camp, can get us in. She might even have some pixie dust left. Perhaps we could fly in.”

In the continuation of their hot-and-cold relationship, David supported the idea—and Emma apparently discovered another person she knew to be fictional was real. If he ended up raising this child in Storybrooke, he’d have to be sure to keep such tales far away from them.

They redirected, but David was flagging. And Killian hated that he knew why.

It took some prodding, but David eventually was convinced to show Killian his injury, lifting his shirt just enough to expose his lower abdomen. The more hormonal part of Killian was slightly jealous of the man’s not only flat, but incredibly well toned stomach, briefly mourning the loss of his own, but it gave way to dread: there was a long, shallow slice along David’s side, and black veins were already spreading from the cut.

And yet, David still tried to argue that “The arrow only nicked me.”

But Killian had seen enough brushes with the vile poison to know what lay ahead. The sight turned his stomach, dredging up painful memories. But the stubborn prince wouldn’t heed his advice to tell his family.

“Pixie dust,” David insisted was the answer. “You believe in this Tinker Bell's power? In her pixie dust?”

“Indeed, I do.” Tink had never given him reason not to. (Though, to be fair, most of their interactions were a bit more physical than verbal, and with the way the slightest thing had him aroused right now, he didn’t dare wander down that path of memory.)

“Then let's get her and that dust.”

It was hard to argue with that.

Her treehouse was still in the same spot; given his familiarity, he headed up first, only to find it empty. (Although still far too familiar; memories of one particular night spent in that hammock definitely stirred some things he hadn’t wanted stirred. Bloody hormones.)

Thankfully his pants were still loose enough to hide anything he didn’t want shown as the rest of the crew joined him in the treehouse, although their search came up empty.

Well, not entirely—while Emma and Snow were reminiscing on the hovel’s resemblance to some places they’d lived, David uncovered a handkerchief. Of Regina’s.

He should have known Tink would be steps ahead of them; she usually was.

Thankfully, she hadn’t caused Regina any harm—and Emma managed to convince her to join them. He wasn’t really surprised—Emma clearly had that way with lost souls such as themselves—though he had assumed his own rapport with the fairy would be required. 

(He was pleased, however, that Tink was not averse to his flirtations, even if she was no longer the main object of them.)

Their shared history meant she could read him too well, though. On the trek back to their campsite, she sidled up to him. “So who knocked you up?” she bluntly whispered.

How the hell could she tell? Not that it really mattered, he supposed. “First time you’ve seen me in 30 years and that’s your first question?”

“Well, you weren’t the last time I saw you. Oh god—it wasn’t me, was it?”

He chuckled. “No, lass, it was not.” He had a keen memory for these things and he and Tink, despite the numerous positions they explored, never managed the specific one required for conception. “And actually, I was when you last saw me; I just didn’t know it yet.”

The moment of realization was visible on her face. “Oh my goodness. Then let me say congratulations.”

“Thanks, love.”

She then punched him in the shoulder. “You better be damn careful.”

“Bloody hell; that doesn’t exactly help.”

She helped them gather up some coconuts to share before settling in for the night (or whatever part of day it was; his circadian rhythm was definitely off, and his random bouts of fatigue didn’t help). After they’d passed them around, he sat down and was starting to notch a hole in one with his hook when Emma took a seat next to him.

“Hey, are you doing okay?” she asked quietly. “Stomach feeling alright and everything?”

He was speechless for a moment; despite her previous admission, he was surprised she cared. But her green eyes were staring him down, demanding an answer. “Aye; nothing too bad today; thank you for asking.” He broke through to the hollow core of the coconut and handed it to Emma. She took a sip and smiled.

“Damn, that’s good. I didn’t just take yours, did I?” He replied by grabbing another one and holding it aloft. “Good. You need to stay hydrated.”

“I’m aware, doctor.”

She snorted at that and took another sip, but then her smile drifted away as she swallowed. “So, uh, you seemed to know Tink pretty well.”

“Aye, you could say that; we go back quite far.”

“Were you two—is she—?” Emma stammered, then nodded toward his midsection. He had to bite back a laugh.

“Yes and no,” he answered. “We did know each other intimately, but not that intimately.”

She adorably scrunched her face in confusion, then shrugged. “Okay, I was just curious. You still need to explain all that to me, but not tonight.”

“No, not tonight; you better rest up.”

“You too, okay?”

“Aye, captain.”

She rolled her eyes, but stood and headed back toward where her parents sat. The longer he spent in her presence, the more he felt it when she left. This was definitely not the time or place to be warring with those feelings, but he couldn’t seem to help it. He was mature enough to set them aside and focus on the bigger picture—saving Henry and escaping this cursed realm—but bloody hell was it difficult.

The near-constant flutters within began their tiny dance again; he hoped the way his hand rested on his belly was perceived as casual. Feeling that was yet another reminder of his goals here: to make it out alive for the sake of the babe, and let no harm come to them. 

He was allowed to have some fun along the way, though—right?

-------------------------------------------

Of course, those moments were few and far between. The next day brought Tink’s uncomfortable reminder that they’d yet to figure out a way out of Neverland, and led them chasing ghosts across the island as he brought them to Bae’s old hideaway.

He had never let the lad know that he was aware of its location. Or that he’d been keeping an eye on him ever since he left the Roger. That was still his greatest regret, and he hoped no one noticed the tears brimming at his eyes as he moved to uncover the entrance to Bae’s cave.

Deflection usually helped; he did find a brief moment to engage Emma, but David stepped in before she could reply. It was hard to tell if it was fatherly protection or pure stubbornness against his own fate that was the motivation. Of course, David didn’t want to hear another lecture about his situation as they opened the cave, but he got one anyway; perhaps this pregnancy was elevating Killian’s already intense protective instincts, but the man’s insistence on hiding his condition was infuriating and heartbreaking.

Honestly, the only thing that kept him back from really tearing into David was Emma calling out for him from the cave. His heart gave a leap at that, one that was clearly distinguishable from the rolling of his stomach that typically accompanied nausea, and he headed in with one last glance at David. He could deal with him later, but he’d not leave a lady waiting.

“What is this place? What are we doing here?” she demanded impatiently, trying to make out anything in the dark of the cave. Ever one for the dramatic reveal, Killian headed straight to a waiting torch on the back wall and quickly made to light it with his flint against his hook. At least, he had hoped it would be quickly, but the ever present humidity made that difficult; and then David was again pushing him aside with some firestarter from his realm. Bloody hell, was that man stubborn. But it had the desired effect, and Emma quickly realized where they were. “Neal,” she said on a breath, studying the chalk drawings that covered nearly every surface. “This is where he lived.” 

“Aye,” he confirmed. “Baelfire spent some time in Neverland as a boy. This was his home.” His eyes were immediately drawn to a reproduction of the port and starboard coordinates that were still etched into the Jolly Roger’s helm, sending a wave of guilt and sadness through him.

The group wasted no time in beginning to search for a clue as to how Bae had left; clearly, it had been in a rush. And if Killian used it as an excuse to hover around Emma...well, that was his business. 

“Anything important?” he asked as she inspected the wall.

“I can't tell yet. I didn't know he liked drawing.” 

“He got it from his mother,” Killian found himself blurting out; it was also easy to see Milah’s influence in Bae’s style, and his hand immediately fluttered to his belly on instinct. Emma gave him a sympathetic half smile, but then turned her attention back to the task at hand—and in the process, discovered the way off...partly. 

It was a rather ingenious device, he had to admit: a star map hidden in a coconut. Practical and creative; he couldn’t help the rush of pride he felt when he explained it to the group.

“Then you can read it,” Regina stated, uncharacteristically hopeful. Which made the next part all the harder. 

“Sadly, no.” Because of course, Bae had made sure to encode the coordinates in a manner that only he could read.

“Which means the only person who can read it is dead,” Emma summarized, clearly upset. She tossed the map aside and hurried out of the cave in a fluster. Her parents tried to follow, but didn’t get far before she told them she needed space.

Kililan only waited a minute before following.

She was only a few yards outside the cave entrance, forearm pressed against a tree as she stared at the ground and, most likely, was trying not to express any undesired emotion.

“You alright, love?” he said quietly, not wanting to startle her. 

She huffed. “No, not really. Just one step forward and three back, every fucking day.”

She continued to rant without any input from him—about the jungle, about Pan, about missing Henry, and her mixed feelings toward Bae. And it became abundantly clear to Killian that she needed a respite (he certainly could use one, too).

He knew just the place, too. “Swan, can I show you something?”

“Is it another way off the island?”

“Afraid not, but I think it’s what you need right now.”

She sighed, mildly defeated (which was still as much as he’d ever seen from her), but nodded.

It was a short walk to their destination—still within earshot of the Charmings if needed—but far enough to give them both some needed room to breathe. He brushed back a swag of foliage (after checking for dreamshade) and gestured for Emma to step through. 

Years ago, he’d discovered the small spring here; one of the few parts of the island not bent on murdering its inhabitants. The water was fresh and cool, and various fruits and edible plants grew around the edge. Back then, he’d made a point to keep access to it open for Bae; he was relieved to see nothing had changed, save for the few vines grown over the entrance. 

“It’s beautiful,” Emma sighed—a heavy thing of both awe and relief. 

“Aye. Only a few places like it on the island.”

“Let me guess: the water is acid or something?”

He chuckled. “Blessedly, no. It’s one of the safest places here, actually. Bae would come here often—for water, and to bathe.”

She sighed. “Yeah, one of those sounds great right about now.”

“Go right ahead,” he said, gesturing to the spring. “I’ll keep a lookout for you.”

She arched an eyebrow and smirked. “How do I know this isn’t just a ploy to get me out of my clothes? Don’t forget: I know what pregnancy hormones are like.”

She wasn’t wrong, and he couldn’t help the rush of thrill when she flirted with him like that, sarcastic as it was—or the slight southern rush of blood. “Well, I had planned to do the same, if you’d offer me the same courtesy once you’re done.”

“Okay. But turn around,” she directed. He couldn’t say no to that.

He also wasn’t about to divulge the places his imagination wandered as he heard the gentle splashes of water as she cleaned herself.

She didn’t take long—he could tell she was used to being efficient when it came to hygiene, like he was—and was fully dressed by the time he turned around, though her wet hair was still dripping. And he was more relieved than he planned on that she was already facing away when it came time to remove his tunic; he was by no means ashamed of the curve of his belly, but showing off something that was apparently unnatural to the woman he fancied was suddenly a mortifying endeavor.

He was quick, too, in washing up, and in getting redressed—at least his tunic; he let his vest hang unbuttoned for a bit. It had also been a minor bit of relief to undo it, and he’d need a moment to subtly loosen the laces in order to make it both more comfortable and better disguise his slight bump.

He’d given Emma the all clear to turn around before he did that, though, lest she get suspicious. Although—she seemed mildly disappointed when she did.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing, just...you didn’t have to hide your bump, if that’s what you were doing,” she said, avoiding his gaze.

“Bummed you couldn’t see me shirtless?” he quipped.

That drew a wry, side-eyed grin from her, before she sat down on a stone near the edge of the spring and took a long sip from her freshly filled jug. There was enough space on it next to her for another person to join, but he didn’t want to impose...at least, not until she called out, “Are you gonna join me or not?”

He picked up his vest and coat from where he’d left them in the sand of the small beach and made his way over, then settled next to her. She passed over the canteen; the water was cool and refreshing—and he nearly dropped it when the babe gave a strong kick. “I guess this one likes it too,” he said after he passed it back, and let his hand rest over his belly. It wasn’t often he felt strong movements like that, but each one was reassuring—that his babe was safe from all the dangers of this murderous island.

“Have they been doing that a lot?” Emma asked.

“Here and there; that’s one of the stronger ones I’ve felt.”

“I remember when Henry first did that,” she started. “I dropped my lunch tray, I was so startled. And they wouldn’t give me any more food. But it was...kind of incredible.”

He only understood half those words, but understood the sentiment. “I was still locked up in Tamara’s apartment when I felt the first one.”

“What a coincidence; I was in prison.”

He was growing to hate the number of parallels in their lives.

“Anyways—how’s everything else? Any nausea, cravings, anything?”

It was touching that she was so concerned, but he didn’t dare complain about anything other than the intermittent nausea. As she’d said, she knew about the hormones. “Although, my boots have been annoying tight,” he did add, “and I need to loosen my vest a bit.”

Her eyes had drifted to his midsection, but quickly glanced up. He couldn’t fault her for being curious, so he tugged the edge of his tunic up to reveal his stomach.

“Aww, that’s a cute bump,” she gushed; it was an odd thing to say, he thought, but she clearly meant it as a compliment. “You said sixteen weeks, right?”

“Aye,” he answered, impressed she remembered.

“Yeah, I think that’s where I was with Henry around then. I carried it all in front, apparently.” She quickly grew quiet, and he could tell that wasn’t the sort of thing she shared with too many people. But then her expression grew quizzical. “Can I ask...how, or where, exactly are you carrying?”

“I clearly have a womb,” he said, trying to make light of what was clearly going to be an awkward anatomical conversation.

“Well, yeah, but…you’re a guy. Also clearly,” she responded, eyes glancing at his groin.

“Yes; I have both, then, if that’s what you’re asking, but my womb is...I suppose less functional than yours.”

“So...what, you don’t get periods or something? How does this all work?”

He chuckled at her bluntness and explained—how his womb was something of a secondary characteristic, menstruation only occurred once a year or so, and conception was also only possible at a specific time and when the female partner was on top (a fact that made her blush). “Milah and I...our last joining before she died, it would have been the right circumstances, but given how slim the chances of conception were, it wasn’t something we were concerned with.”

“It only takes once,” she said knowingly.

“That it does,” he agreed.

They settled into an easy silence, and the baby started kicking again, even more once he put his palm over it.

“Do you...want to feel it?” he asked; no one but the doctor had thus far, but he knew women and their partners and friends usually shared those moments. They counted as friends, right?

He was worried she might think he was crossing a line, but she grinned. “Yeah!”

Gently, he took her hand and placed it over the spot just to the side of his navel where the babe was pressing. Hopefully, she didn’t notice his quick intake of breath at the feel of her warm palm on his skin.

If she did, it was quickly forgotten when the little one was kicking at her hand; her eyes lit up. “Hey there, kid,” she said softly. “Look at you, growing big and strong.”

She looked up at him, smiling—and very close to him, a fact she too seemed to suddenly realize, and she quickly moved away. 

They lingered at the pond a while longer, enjoying the respite from the craziness of their journey. 

But Killian couldn’t stop his heart from racing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from Emma’s proximity, or her interest in his babe, or both.

(Emma, she was surprised to find, was facing a similar predicament. She couldn’t linger on it, she knew, but maybe when they were done, she could try to figure out what that meant.)

But for one minute, they were just two friends enjoying a quiet moment.

————————————————–

thanks for reading! tagging  @cocohook38​​​​​​ @wyntereyez​​​​​​ @jennjenn615​​​​​​ @superadam54​​​​​​ @ashley-knightingale​​​​​​ @justsomewhump​​​ @teamhook​ (let me know if you want a tag!)

[tttinytrash]

 Another of Shy’s lovely prompts! This time we have big Swap Papyrus as our merskele, and a highly unfortunate reader. Not much other preamble on this one, so let’s jump into it!

How had everything gone so wrong so fast?

The storm had come seemingly out of nowhere, and your tiny boat was being buffeted around like it was nothing. The icy sting of the wind-whipped rain juxtaposed terribly with the aching fire beneath your skin as you overworked muscles desperately tried to wrangle the lines to get you the heck out of this mess. 

You lost your footing on the soaked deck and tumbled harshly, catching yourself on the rope around the perimeter of your boat just barely. You clung for dear life as a huge swell dangerously tilted your entire hull, threatening capsizing you and your only hope of getting out alive. It was in this moment you saw a faint orange glow beneath the waves, but you had absolutely no time to consider what it could be as you scrambled back to your position to try and regain control of the boat before you hit the rocky outcropping nearby.

You got your ropes again and fought like mad, but it quickly became futile as an enormous wave struck you along the starboard side and tossed you off the boat, into the rocks. Thankfully, you missed the worst of them but felt a sharp pain in your left leg. You fought back the pain and came back to air to see your boat had been mercilessly dashed into the rocks shortly after you, and had begun to sink. 

You desperately paddled, kept aloft by your life jacket, but your safety gear was no match for whatever had apparently wrapped around your good leg and dragged you towards Davy Jones. You fumbled where you felt the pulling, realizing a rope from the boat was tangled around your leg. Thankfully your knife was still folded on your belt and you used it to saw off the rope. Without its pull you were rushing towards the surface again, but it seemed so far off you weren’t sure you’d make it from this depth. Is this how you left this world?

As your body was pulled upwards by your own paddling and the buoyancy of your vest, blackness creeped on the edge of your vision. ...and orange?

-----

Papyrus had felt the distress from a strong soul from deep below the waves. From his vantage point and because of his size the stormy currents were a novelty, but clearly for whoever had been caught above it was life or death. 

...maybe he’d just go check on them, push their boat out of the worst of it and back towards shore. Yeah, that’s all. No biggie. 

He came near the surface and saw it was lone human on a small boat. Jeez, how had they even lasted this long on their own? He was impressed, but looking for an opening in which he could help without being spotted. Humans spelled trouble for his kind, and despite the 0 EXP he saw in his Check he couldn’t not be wary. The last thing his bro or the rest of the school needed was hunters.

Unfortunately his caution meant the storm beat him to the punch, and smashed the ship. Oh Delta, was the human dead?

No! He could still feel the bright flare of determination somewhere... below him?

They were being dragged down by the wreckage, and as he darted towards them to free their leg he saw them do it themself. Oh gosh, they had a knife. The weapon made him hesitate again, which meant he felt their determination start to peter out. Their grip went slack as the knife fell away, consciousness slipping due to lack of air.

Curse him and his soft Soul!

He sped over, cupped his hands around them, and propelled them both towards air as fast as his fins could go. Delta let him not be too late...

The hoarse hacking when he made it to air was more of a relief than he’d expected, but after mostly clearing their lungs the fatigue won out and they collapsed into his hands They seemed barely aware and were just making drunken sounds, but their eyes did intermittently open.

During his observation, the waves of the storm actually managed to surprise him and dunk his skull underwater, but he managed to keep the human in the air thankfully. 

There was nothing else for it, he had to take them in and get them both out of this mess.

He took a brief moment to spit out seawater so the human would have air, then slipped them into his mouth without much ado. Tossing his skull back brought them to the opening of his throat, and they weakly threw their arms out as if to steady themself. The sluggish movement hopefully meant they weren’t fully aware still, as he didn’t have any time for reassurances (he narrowly avoided being dunked again and the storm was getting even worse) and didn’t need a fighting human inside. One strong swallow brought them swiftly toward his core, at which point he left the surface. 

One hand was absently brought to rest on his middle, where he felt the human slide in and go mostly still. He still felt the bright power of their soul, so they were alive, but they may have finally succumbed to exhaustion and passed out. That was fine by him, that left him time to figure out what the heck his next move would be.

-----

Wakefulness was slow to come back to you, and you spent a blissful moment in hazy awareness. 

Sadly for you, memory snapped back into place in the next moment which made you to jolt upright. The rapid movement was more than your abused body wanted to handle, and it very clearly told you as much. Well apparently you had to take a breather, so you took stock of your condition. Your headache throbbed in time with your pulse, your muscles ached from overuse, and your throat and eyes hurt from saltwater, but you were alive. You looked to your legs, which were the areas that hurt worst. The left was a rainbow of bruises and may or not be able to be stood on, but you were both surprised and relived the underlying bone wasn’t utterly shattered from your unfriendly meeting with the rocks. Meanwhile the right had an ugly forming bruise and plenty of abrasion from the rope that had wrapped around you and dragged you down.

Oh, right. Now you recalled being dragged downwards after the destruction of your boat. So... what happened to you? You remembered rushing back towards the surface, but not reaching it.

Where were you?

You looked around and saw you were in a spacious cavern. The sand along the edge was widest where you sat, oddly bundled atop what was likely someone’s sail at one point. Maybe even yours. The center of the cavern, and indeed the majority of the “floor” so to speak was water. So this must have been an air pocket. How far underwater were you? How long would this air last? Then again, the cavern was huge for a single human so food and water would be the first priorities. But it was still concerning to have limited air supply. 

Any planning ended when movement from the water caught your attention. A giant freaking skull of all things rose from the depths, followed by the rest of a skeletal torso adorned with an orange tail. Oh, god, the orange glow had been this thing?! What did it want?!

You were frozen in place, much to your chagrin and the monster before you focused its gaze on you. Oddly, it smiled when it spoke “oh good, you made it.”

“W-where am I? Who are you? What do you want from me?!”

He actually managed to quirk an eyebrow at you without having eyebrows. “in a cave, papyrus, and nothing.”

“...What?” Everything just felt too fast right now, but your panic did start to fade the longer the monster before you did a grand total of nothing towards you.

He laughed a little, surprising you enough to shake off a good chunk of panic and actually process that he’d been answering your questions.

“S-sorry. I’m a little scrambled right now.”

“got that part, yeah.” he teased.

You couldn’t help the laugh in response before replying “It was, Papyrus, right? I’m Y/N.”

“good to meetcha, kiddo. so, how much do you remember after your boat crashed?

“Not much. I was underwater last I recall, how did I get here?”

“didn’t miss a ton then. i fished you out, but with the storm it was best to bunker down for awhile. it’s still pretty nasty up there. i can take you back to shore when the storm lets up. for now, how’re your legs?”

“Not the best, but I’ll live.”

“lemme heal you up then.” he said, bringing his hand up towards you and approaching.

“Woah! Wait!” You scrambled to move away, only managing to tangle yourself in the sail and bring a wave of white hot pain to your left leg.

“right, big scary monster. got it.” He backed off, hands up in surrender. 

You felt bad about it now, but couldn’t help that his sheer size made him intimidating. Even if he’d apparently been the reason you weren’t dead...

“let’s try from a distance then, show that i can help?” He formed a bone from nothing, glowing bright green and as big as your hand. Surprisingly, he shot the bone towards you, where it struck the bruising on the better leg and appeared to melt into the skin on contact.

You flinched, expecting pain from the impact, but found it just felt warm and tingly instead. Upon inspection, the soreness was diminished and the bruising was nearly gone. You looked up to Papyrus, mouth agape in wonder.

“heh, maaaagic~” he wiggled his fingers, clearly amused by your reaction. “can i help now?”

You hesitantly nodded, presenting your pretty busted leg. You two were stuck here for now, may as well give him a little leeway. 

You didn’t scramble away at his approach this time, but couldn’t help but tense up anyways. He gingerly brought his hands forward, laying the very tips of his long, thin fingers atop the damaged limb far more gently than it seemed should be possible for such large hands. Even the feather light touch made you flinch momentarily before his phalanges started to glow the same green as the launched bone had been. Warmth seeped into your leg, and it felt like a warm blanket on a cold rainy day. The energy being transferred somehow carried a sense of benevolence, which made you feel safe.

“we’re lucky it’s your tibia that got the worst of it. bones are my specialty, for obvious reasons.” He said, smiling a little at the final comment.

You chuckled at his observation, “I can see why. And, uh, thank you for everything, I don’t think I actually said that yet.”

“eh, don’t mention it.”

For how odd this whole encounter was, it wasn’t so bad at all.

-----

Well, as comfortable as the human had gotten with him (not feeling the fear radiating off them after awhile was such a gratifying feeling) he still wasn’t looking forward to getting them out of here. He kinda knew this was gonna be rough, but with the storm outside finally quelled he needed to get this little human back home. 

He had left the cave to assess the storm, but his thoughts were completely focused on how to make the next steps easier. So distracted, he almost swam past the entrance to the cave entirely. Luckily he snapped out of it and was able to redirect to enter the cave. The human perked up as soon as his skull crested the water, and he didn’t fight the smile in reply.

“ready to go back topside, squishy?” he asked.

“The storm is gone?” The human asked hopefully.

“yep, won’t be any trouble.”

“Ok so how do we do this? Are you just going to cup me in your hands, or...?”

“ah, about that. we’re pretty deep down, i don’t think you’d make it back to air just holding your breath.”

“Oh, well how did i get here then?”

“same way you’ll gave to get back, i just played submarine. i’ll just take you in, and you get to relax while i take us back towards the nearest port.”

“...I don’t follow.” 

They were confused and hesitant, but not outright scared yet. That was good. The hope was that being casual and forward about it would play off the trust he’d already built, “it’s totally safe, but the short version is i’d swallow you and let you out later.”

There was the inevitable flare of fear, but it wasn’t as strong as it could have been. “Safely? You’re sure?”

“yep. you’ve already done it, but i’m not surprised you don’t remember given your state when i found you.”

They were silent, but a plethora of emotions swirled around them. He could easily feel their distress without even trying.

Better try reassurance and appealing to logic, then. “kiddo, if i’d wanted to hurt you, wouldn’t i have already done it?” he kept his voice soft, non-accusatory, and gave them space to think. 

His words seemed to have cut through their clouded emotions and they nodded after a moment. “Yeah... you would have. Ok. If that’s how I get home, let’s do it. Can you just... make it quick? To uh... get me inside, that is.”

“you want me to just do it for ya?” he asked, somewhat surprised.

“Yeah, get it over with. I don’t want to think about that part too much if I’m being honest.”

“alright, can’t say i blame you.” He gently scooped the human into his hands, and his Soul sunk a little at how much they’d curled in on themself. “you can close your eyes if you want, i’ll tell you when it’s done.”

They took his advice, and he saw them cycle a steadying breath. Well, they’d said make it quick so...

He pinched the back of their shirt, hung them over his open mouth, and lowered them in. He was able to release them and the slight drop brought their legs into his throat. The extra space meant their head was fully behind his teeth, so he closed his mouth around their warm body. He felt their hands flutter blindly around the area as if they were fighting the urge to stop their descent. He decided to keep going, even if it felt a little wrong when they were so clearly anxious, to comply with their request for speed.

One swallow brought their hips down, and he felt his throat dip into the small of their back. Another gulp and he felt their ribcage stretch the ectoflesh around them, and a third brought their form fully inside his. He brought his hand up to trace their downward journey, until he lost them past his clavicles. He felt them spill into his belly a few seconds later, limbs flailing outwards as they startled in the suddenly more open space.

He didn’t think they really needed him to tell them, but went ahead and said it anyways “ok kiddo, that’s the whole trip. i’ll give you a sec to get your bearings before we head off.” While they settled, he leaned his spine along the sandy embankment in the cave and bought his hands to fold over his belly in concern for his worried passenger.

They did start to move around, movements shaky and uncertain. He didn’t comment, letting them figure things out as they pleased. Their tactile approach did feel pretty nice, actually, but he didn’t outwardly react for fear of discouraging them. Whatever observations their pawing at the walls and floor were helping them make was lessening the fear exponentially.

After a while he hesitantly asked “you doing ok in there?”

Their tiny voice sounded a little odd coming from so very close, “Y-yeah. I’m good. ...I’m good...”

“good. told you it was safe. how do you feel?”

“Confused? Overwhelmed? ...I’ve got a dumb question though.”

He laughed, which seemed to have knocked them over since he felt an impact inside. “whoops, sorry kiddo. but if you’ve got questions you can ask.”

“...What does this feel like for you?”

That surprised him, and he fumbled for something to say beyond “good.” They took up space, which was helpful considering it’d been awhile since his last meal. Definitely wouldn’t bring that up though, for fear of scaring them. 

“Papyrus?”

Shoot, had he been silent for that long? “sorry, surprised me there. uh, i guess this feels protective? kinda feels good, like a hug?”

“But you can feel me in here?”

“of course. you’re right here,” he lightly pressed in where he could feel their weight, and heard the squeak of surprise in response.

The squeak devolved into laughter, and they hesitantly pushed back at his invading hand. 

He chuckled and relented on the pressure, “alright, that one wasn’t even dumb. any more questions?”

“I guess that was the big one. Think I’m set to go.”

“cool, hold tight then.” He pushed off the sand, ducked out of the cave, and headed towards human civilization.

The human slid around due to the drastic shifts in gravity, but resettled relatively quickly.

After a bit, Papyrus offered “i can let you see where we’re going if you like.”

“You can do that?” they sounded excited at the prospect.

He turned his magic from opaque to transparent in reply, earning a happy gasp from the human as they quickly readjusted to take the best advantage of the view. He went quiet again, happy to let them enjoy the views of the ocean most human weren’t afforded. 

This really wasn’t how he’d planned for his day to go, but he couldn’t really say this experience left him disappointed. 

With any luck, maybe he’d get to see this little sailor out on the sea again.

[destiniesfic]

132 Hours, Chapter 4:

“I think I have a plan. But…”

Cardan sits forward. “But?”

“I don’t know if it’ll get you out.”

Previous

Read chapter 4 on AO3, or read below:

“You know what?” I ask abruptly, some time later.

Cardan picks up his head. “What?”

“I need to use the bathroom.”

His brow furrows, and then he looks vaguely panicked for the first time. “Um, right. Well, it’s not a big space, but I can turn around—”

I sigh. “No. Why don’t you go knock on the door and ask them to take me outside?”

Cardan blinks at me. “Oh,” he says. “You don’t want to try that yourself?”

“You’re the alpha.” I shrug. “They’re more likely to listen to you than to me.”

“Huh. Yeah. Good point.” He looks at me a little longer, head cocked, and then a grin breaks across his face like a sunrise. I feel my cheeks warm and hate that some cruel trick of fate assures that even though I know he is one of the world’s worst human beings, a small, primal part of me will always find him attractive. “How’s it feel?”

“How does what feel?”

“Bossing me around. Seems to come pretty naturally to you.”

I roll my eyes. I don’t need anyone else reminding me that I’m the world’s worst excuse for an omega. Being valedictorian sealed that. Valerian sealed that. My smart mouth sealed it, too. “Shut up, Greenbriar.”

His grin widens. “That the best you got?”

I glare. “Stop talking if you want the part of you that apparently makes you so ‘superior’ to me to remain intact.”

“A little vague, but we’ll workshop it.” Cardan pushes himself to his feet. With his long legs, it only takes him two strides to cross the room to the door. He glances at me. “If they shoot me, it’s your fault.”

“I’ll cry big, fat tears at your funeral.”

“You’d better write a kick-ass eulogy. You’re a good speaker, right? I don’t really remember graduation.”

Probably drunk, I think. Or high. “Can you just knock?”

Cardan raises his hand and deals the door three hard raps, so loud I nearly jump. He waits a beat, then says, “Oh, no answer. Well, I guess I’ll—”

“What is it?”

This time it’s a woman’s voice that comes through the door. Cardan and I glance at each other. “Bathroom,” he calls. I notice the way he instinctively pitches his voice a little lower, trying to sound more adult, more alpha. “Both of us. And I’m thirsty.”

There’s another pause, then the woman says, “Step back, then. Against the far wall.”

Raising both his hands, Cardan retreats until his back hits the wall. I stand, too, awaiting whatever might happen when the door opens.

But when it does, I am momentarily taken aback. A small woman stands there, holding a different pistol, one better suited to her hand than the man’s. Like the scarred man, she too has a distinct appearance: her brown skin is dappled white from vitiligo, and her hair, too, is a shocking white cloud of curls around her face. She’s pretty, I realize. Totally out of place holding a gun in a hostage situation.

She is holding a gun, though—smaller than her companion’s, so they aren’t trading off—and keeps it fixed on Cardan even when she looks at me. “You first,” she says. “Through the door. Come on.”

I do need to pee, but this is what I really want: a chance to get a glimpse of the space outside of our small room. I nod and take cautious steps, edging myself around her and out of the door, careful not to make any moves that would seem threatening and spook her into firing that gun. But she keeps it trained on Cardan until I am out, which is when she finally turns away from him.

She keeps the barrel of her pistol aimed at me as she secures both locks, and I look around. It is a larger open area and in the middle is a round plastic table with four chairs. In one of the chairs sits the scarred man, playing Solitaire. He looks up. “What’s this?”

“Bathroom break,” says the woman, taking my arm. It’s comical—she’s tiny, barely comes up past my shoulder—but she’s the one with the weapon. I let her lead me through the main space, which is mostly bare. Aside from the table and chairs, I see a mini-fridge plugged into one wall, and stairs that lead out of the basement.

I hope my escort is going to take me upstairs so I can get a sense of the situation, but I am not that lucky. Instead she steers me past the tables to a short hallway on the other side of the main space. There are two doors, and she motions me toward the first one.

“In there,” she says.

I don’t thank her, because what point is there in thanking my abductor? I just open the door and go inside. The bathroom is just a bathroom, but it has toilet paper and a functioning toilet and a sink and paper towels, which is all I need at the moment. There is also a shower stall in the corner with a frosted glass door, which makes me think that this is the basement of a house after all. The room we are being kept in might have once been a very small guest bedroom, or a storage room.

Someone has left bar soap in a little tray in the sink. It looks old and grody, its color faded to an unattractive pale green, but I soap my hands up anyway after I finish my business, and then I splash water on my face. I always keep a spare elastic around my wrist and use it to pull my hair, now an unruly tangle of loose curls, back from my face. I am glad I thought to wear a sweatshirt over my black tank top—I’ll probably need that to stay warm when night falls. I stare at my face in the mirror until my vision splits, and then shake my head. I cannot crack now. I can’t. I will get through this. I have been through worse. A terrible car wreck, a rocky transition to a new home, years of bullying that culminated in something worse. I can survive this, too.

So I go back outside, where the woman takes me by the arm and leads me back to my prison. I don’t protest. I am quiet, and hopefully look dazed and a little scared. No one can know I’m already planning to escape, that I still have my wits about me.

My escort undoes the locks, then pushes me back into the room, and, with the gun trained on Cardan, she says, “All right. You next.”

Cardan, who had taken up his position in the corner again, scrambles to his feet. His eyes flick over me, head to toe, like he’s judging me for looking disheveled when he himself isn’t much better off. I listen for the click of the locks, and am only a little disappointed when I hear them.

Blessedly alone, I sit on the edge of the mattress, inventorying what I know. The main obstacle will be whatever lies upstairs, but I don’t think there is any way to convince our captors to take me out for fresh air. Maybe I can claim a condition? Asthma? I doubt they would buy it.

It only takes a couple of minutes for the door to open and Cardan to come back in, the small woman at his back. He holds a bottle of water fresh from the mini-fridge, condensation already gathering on its surface. I am glad to see the water, hoping I can steal a swig and banish the greasy feeling of cold McMuffin from my mouth once and for all.

“In,” the woman urges Cardan, and he takes another step inside the room so he’s well clear of the door. I think it’s weird that he doesn’t protest, or talk back to her like he did to me, but he had been stalling then, and now there’s actual danger.

I am starting to realize that when he doesn’t hold power in a situation, Cardan Greenbriar is kind of a coward.

This should make me feel smug, but I would rather have a brash alpha to use as a shield while we make our escape. It’ll be fine. Alpha or not, hopefully I have enough brashness for the both of us.

The woman looks from me to Cardan, then back to me. Her eyes look almost kind. “I am sorry about this,” she says. “We were only meant to take him.”

“Um,” I say. “Oh.”

“It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“That’s… good.” I look at Cardan, who seems as baffled as I am. “You could always just let me go?”

The woman sighs. “The boss says it’s not an option anymore. But don’t worry. If you keep cooperating, you won’t be in any danger. Either of you,” she adds, looking at Cardan.

“Good to know,” Cardan says. “Although I’m not sure why I should trust the promise of a person who kidnapped and drugged us.”

Her lip twitches. “Fair enough,” she says, and then she closes the door and locks it.

We both exhale our relief. Cardan sits back down in his corner, takes a large swig of water, then screws on the cap and rolls the bottle across the floor to me. “Good thinking,” he says. “One, because it would suck to have to pee on the floor, but two because now we have a sense of where we are.”

“Yeah,” I said, only half-paying attention. I unscrew the bottle cap and take a sip of cool, clean water. Then I lower my voice. “I think I have a plan. But…”

Cardan sits forward. “But?”

“I don’t know if it’ll get you out.”

He frowns, but somehow doesn’t sound surprised when he just says, “Oh.”

“Haven’t you noticed? They’re only scared of you. They only train the gun on you. They don’t think of me…” I shrug one shoulder. “Well, at all, but definitely not as a threat. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. As far as they know, I chose the wrong boy to kiss on a beach.”

“Yeah.” Cardan rubs a hand over his face. “Yeah, okay. So I’m the big, bad alpha… and the decoy, while you slip under the radar. And then I get to follow you, maybe. If we’re lucky.”

I am surprised to find that I feel a little bad for him. A few hours ago, I would have been fine leaving him to rot, but then we spoke more words to each other than we have maybe in our entire lives, and now I’m not so sure. I say, “You probably get to follow me, it’s just not a guarantee. But I still think it’s worth trying.”

“Anything is,” he says, surprising me. “You know why?”

“Why?”

“They’re not wearing masks.”

I stare at him for a moment, then dread pools at the bottom of my stomach, a cold egg someone’s cracked open in my chest. “Either they’re consummate professionals who’ve managed to wipe themselves from every database, or…”

“Or we’re not supposed to be around to tell anyone what we’ve seen.” Cardan’s mouth presses into a thin line, grimmer and more serious than I’ve ever seen him.

“Okay,” I say, trying to ignore my heartbeat as it speeds up. “Okay, let’s—okay. So we make our plan and carry it out. That’s what we do.”

“We carry out our plan,” he says, a gloomy echo, “or die trying.”

Silence falls over the room like a blanket of snow, but I take a flamethrower to it by asking, “Really?”

“What?”

“Being dramatic doesn’t help. We have to focus on getting out of here. So.” I wave my hand. “Stop that. No one’s going to kill you, except maybe me if you keep getting on my nerves.”

He looks at me, his eyes darker now, in the unlit basement, than they were even last night on the beach. “Who’s going to stop them from killing us? You? A little omega girl who doesn’t know when to quit?”

“I’m not little,” I snap. God, why is he like this? “And yeah, it’s a good thing I don’t know when to quit, because apparently that’s all that stands between you and suicidal sulking. So stop being so Shakespearean tragedy and help me.”

“I could never do theater,” Cardan muses aloud, letting his head fall back against the wall. “Wasn’t alpha enough for me, apparently.”

I frown at him. “Plenty of alphas do theater. Our school had a great theater program.” I would know—I volunteered as a stagehand enough times as a freshman and sophomore. It was something else to put on a college application, and I liked moving in the dark, not being seen but making everything run smoothly. But eventually I had to stop, too. Madoc never said outright that it was a waste of time, but…

“My brother didn’t like it,” Cardan says, like he’s finishing my thought. He picks at some loose plaster on the wall.

I end up just looking at him for a minute, mostly because I am shocked to hear him sound wistful. I didn’t know he was capable of it. “I think you would have been good,” I say, surprised to find I mean it. I mean, he has the looks, and he’s certainly proven to have a flair for the dramatic.

He turns his head to look back at me, and just like that we had zigzagged back from enemies, or rivals, or whatever we were, to allies. “I always thought so, too.”

---

“So,” Cardan says. “I stand in the door.”

“You do,” I affirm. “You make sure that whoever opens the door, all they see is you.”

“And you’ll be beside the door, out of sight,” he recites. “So you can grab them, disarm them, and pull them in.” He blinks at me. I’ve begun to notice the gold edging his near-black irises, the whole spectacle framed by dark eyelashes. I feel like if I look long enough, I might be able to pick out other colors in them. Eyes like black opals.

“Jude,” he says, like it’s the second time he’s said my name. “Earth to Duarte, hello. Can you actually do that?”

I blink too, shake out of it. “In theory.” I’ve only had to use what I’ve learned on martial arts mats or in boxing studios a few times outside of my lessons, and never on anyone actually armed. But I’m relatively small, so I’ve been taught specifically how to go against people stronger, taller, faster. And I’ve only ever frozen once.

“What if it’s two of them at the door?”

“It won’t be. It’s been one at the door, one at the table all day. You noticed too, right?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “So, the tricky part. You lock person one in the room, I go for whoever’s at the table.” He sneers. “‘Go for.’ Like, what, a linebacker?”

“Again, you’re an alpha.” I did not in my life ever think I would be giving Cardan a pep talk, much less this pep talk. “Use those reflexes.”

“My reflexes are rusty.”

“You’d better oil them fast.”

He exhales audibly. “Okay. So I grapple with—whoever’s at the table, under the hope that they’re surprised enough when their buddy gets grabbed that they’ll be slow getting out the gun. And if they do?”

“You’re too valuable to kill until they have your money.”

“They could wound me.”

I roll my eyes. “I could wound you. Suck it up.”

Cardan chuckles softly and touches his side like he’s already imagining bruises blossoming there. “Ouch.”

“You’ll only be without me for a few seconds,” I reassure him. “You draw focus, keep them on the ground, and then I’ll show up, hopefully armed. Then we’re good.”

“And if we’re not good, you just leave me. You just run.” He gives me a weirdly intense look. “Right? I’m the one they want, anyway.”

“It won’t come to that,” I say.

“But if it does.”

“Cardan.”

“I have concerns.”

I bite the inside of my cheek before I can tell him he’s an idiot if he doesn’t have concerns. “What are they?”

“The third man. I haven’t seen him since yesterday, and you haven’t seen him at all. We know what the other two are like, but you have no read on him and I don’t really trust mine.”

That is a good concern, although I’m loath to give Cardan any credit. It had crossed my mind too, along with the possibility that Cardan might have been too drowsy while he was coming out of his drugged haze and made a mistake. But even if he was in a stupor, it isn’t likely that he mistook a scarred man of medium height or a short woman for a tall man with no scars at all.

“Maybe he’s the ringleader,” I suggest. “He might have left once we were settled in.”

“Might have,” Cardan agrees, but he sounds unconvinced.

We pass the rest of the day like that, in our precarious truce. When one of us has an idea, we speak up, trade it back and forth for a while. And then silence again. It would be incredibly boring, and almost is without my phone, except that Cardan is right: this might be literally life or death.

Our captors let us out a few more times to use the bathroom. In the evening, they bring us cold, dry pre-packaged deli sandwiches from a supermarket and an extra pillow and blanket for Cardan, because I am on the mattress and there was only supposed to be one of us. Cardan just accepts the bedding and food, quiet for once. I know he’s wondering the same thing I am: whether they still mean to kill us, or whether we’re worth more alive.

When the light has totally vanished from our tiny window and we have both exhausted our store of potential plans, Cardan unties his shoes, props his pillow in the corner, and starts making himself as comfortable as possible on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I ask, before my brain catches up to my mouth.

“I think this is called ‘sleeping,’” he replies. “I thought everybody did it, but I guess with all those AP classes and mock trial and…”

I roll my eyes. “It’s a big enough mattress,” I say. “Just don’t touch me.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” I scoot to the side of the mattress, the one closer to the wall, and turn onto my side, away from the spot I’m vacating for him. “Before I change my mind.”

Cardan seems to realize I actually do mean it, so about half a second later I feel him crawl onto the mattress and flop down. And just as he’s groaning, “God, that is better,” even though the mattress is old and stained and doesn’t smell great, I realize I’ve made a gigantic mistake, because my body is a live wire and not even for the reason he’d think.

I glance over my shoulder at him, and although it’s hard to make out details in the dark, I can see that he is also on his side with his back to me, his midnight curls a stark contrast against the pillow. Breathe, I tell myself. For about five years, Cardan could not have been clearer that he does not want me in any conceivable way, and we’re not in the danger zone yet. There is no “safe” in our situation, but I am at least protected from that.

“I can feel you staring,” he says to the empty air.

Startled, I almost bite down on my own tongue. I turn back around and curl my knees to my chest. I don’t want to ask. Asking would be the worst thing in the world. Asking would be admitting to fear, and naming fear gives it power.

But I am spared when Cardan says, unprompted, “I’m not going to try anything, Jesus.” The Don’t you know that? hangs unspoken in the air between us, because I should know it, seeing as he’s been telling me I stink for years. That while his kind ostensibly was made to dominate mine, my chemicals do not agree with his, and so he would never stoop to that level.

I get it. And sure, it stings to be unwanted, but not so much now, because I can sleep through the night with Cardan at my back and really, truly not worry about being prey. “Right,” I say. “Good. Because you’re the last person in the world I’d want that from, anyway.”

“Yes, you’ve made that clear.”

Never mind that he made it clear first. I burrow into my pillow as best I can. “Well, enjoy your uninterrupted sleep.”

I expect a smart remark from him, but there’s nothing but a sigh. Then, because I am listening carefully, I hear his breathing grow long and even, and I realize he actually has fallen asleep. He isn’t too nervous, too tense to be kept awake. I am both of those things, but also exhausted, so I guess I can understand that eventually, exhaustion has its way.

It’s weird that twenty-four hours ago he was one of the people I hated most in the world, someone who stood in for the system that had scorned me my whole life. He still might be, outside these walls. But for now he’s just a boy, sleeping at my back.

I close my eyes, and sleep too.

Next

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.6}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 1.4k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

A glimpse into the fifth week of travels (or the fourth week of July):

"This place is incredible!" Robin marveled at the high columns and the even higher ceiling that spanned out so far into the distance that it was too dark to see. She was impressed beyond measure, taken aback by the sheer size and grandeur even though she couldn't see all of the hall they had just entered. And a hall it really seemed to be, like the open space of a cathedral, but ancient, underground, and filled to a third at least with deep black water. The only dry space posed the stairs at the edge of the grand room, which were running along the wall from the high entrance level down to the deep blackness. That was where they were currently descending to.

"Fascinating indeed." Snape replied in equal curiosity about the unique place, as he followed Robin down the narrow staircase, all the way down to where it led into the water. "Do you think it has always been flooded like this?"

"I honestly have no idea. Neither do I know how a ten foot fish is supposed to live down here, nor how it's gotten to this place."

"Well, what do you know about this place then?"

"Not much, admittedly. I only read about its existence in a book that's older than I even care to admit, as well as some specifics about the living conditions in places like this in the country."

"Places like this? I sincerely doubt there are other places like this anywhere in the world at all."

"Well… not exactly like this, of course. But water and darkness and no movement nor exchange of streams… that's probably close enough." Robin replied softly, but even in their quiet tones, their voices echoed off the high stone ceiling and distant walls in an eerie manner. In addition to the lumos' bright but cold toned greenish light, the entire place had an otherworldly feel to it in general. Like it wanted to swallow them with its darkness, and their little bubble of light served as their only protection.

"So tell me, why exactly didn't you want to tell me what exactly today's method is going to look like? Acquiring a giant fish's scale surely isn't as easy as simply 'going fishing'." Snape inquired as they reached the edge of the water, and he observed with a curious frown how Robin simply dropped her backpack on a higher step in the security of the dry.

"You wouldn't have believed me if I had told you, so I'll just have to show you." Robin replied in amusement, smirking to herself for making things a mystery for once. This was one of her newest theories, she had only come up with it in the first week of summer while bored at her parents' house. In that sense, it was as unrefined as it would get. And yet here they were, seeing as finding the right place at least had proven to be a success. Hopefully the next step would, too. "And I haven't really tried this before either, so consider it a Plan A, for now."

"You never cease to build suspense…" He sighed in return, and his frown only grew when Robin took off her boots and socks and placed them next to her bag. "...and you never cease to confuse me either; what exactly are you doing? Certainly not going for a swim in that blackness, which is inhabited by who knows which horrors, are you?"

"I don't have a deathwish, no." Robin laughed in return, and gave him one of her most reassuring smiles. "I just want to try out something. If it doesn't work, we can go over to Plan B, alright?"

"Fine."

"Would you, uh…" Now there was the part where Robin could technically do it alone, but honestly didn't want to. Her heart was beating faster than it should anyhow, and asking for help, even if for this kind of help, certainly wouldn't change that for the better. "Would you give me your hand? Please?"

After two seconds of surprise or confusion, or both perhaps, Snape did as she had asked without a comment and Robin held onto him tightly as she took a deep breath. Really, holding his hand never ceased to overwhelm her senses with rushes of energy and tingles. But they were here to work, and she had asked to hold his hand for entirely professional reasons. Well, almost entirely… She tried to ignore it either way and went on with the plan. For a short moment she focused on the spell she had come up with those few weeks ago, took another deep breath, and then took one large step forward into the water. Or rather, onto the water.

An instantaneous relief overcame her as she saw that it actually had worked, she was standing on top of the water's surface just as she had planned. A few reluctant steps around the staircase on top of the deep water confirmed that her spell was working perfectly fine, and yet she still stayed close enough to still hold onto Snape's hand. Bloody hell, she really could walk on water. Amazing! With the biggest smile on her face, she looked up from her rolled up jeans and naked feet to Snape in front of her, who only seemed beyond surprised at what he saw.

"Impressed?" Robin couldn't help asking with a smirk, and she positively noted how it was him now who held onto her hand tightly. Perhaps he was afraid she would go under and vanish after all…

"How?" Was all he asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Well, you see, when I thought of this spell I had some inspiration from my parents' guests from the US… Very religious people, they keep talking about God and Jesus all day, and I'm sure you can see the connection to the spell there. And from that point forth, it really was only a day's worth of research." She shrugged with the very same smile as before. "The spell freezes the surface of the water in time. Or to start explaining at the beginning, I had to think of skipping tones over the water. They touch the surface for a very brief time only, and therefore they don't go under. To recreate that effect I would either have to be really really fast…"

"Or to slow the water down." He added with a sincerely impressed expression that made no secret of his utmost fascination, and perhaps even a little admiration as well. "How are you even able to mess with time? I haven't got the slightest idea about it, and neither should you."

"I researched time turners. Someone had to make them at some point, which means that there had to be spells to mess with time. Admittedly, reducing the effect to one specific thing, and especially something as vague as the surface of the water, was a bit more complicated, but still nothing I couldn't do in a day."

"Why am I even surprised by anything you do at this point…" He sighed, and then reluctantly let go of Robin's hand when she let go in return. She stayed standing on the water, which was a good sign, and even took a step further into the room, over the mirroring blackness below. Still, the concerned frown never left his face even as she turned back around to him. He opened and closed his mouth to speak a few times, before at last words came out along with it. "Be careful, yes?"

"Of course. But if it suddenly stops working for some reason, and I go under and drown, you'll get me out, right?" Robin asked while taking a few more careful steps over the water. Really, these questions were merely a method of reassuring herself; she knew the answer, but she still needed to hear it. "Because I really don't care for a run-in with any of the beasts living down there. If I mess up, you'll have my back as always… right?"

"Of course I will. As always."

"Good… Thank you."

"And what do you plan on doing now?"

Robin looked up at him once more, smirking already at the thought. "Now, I'm going to steal a giant fish's shiny scale."

______________________________

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[winryofresembool]

Caleo fic: It’s all about the name

Chapter 5

Summary: Calypso is a barista at a coffee shop and one day she gets a customer who refuses to give her his real name. At first he seems really annoying but eventually Calypso finds out not all is what it looks like on the surface. (Coffee shop AU!)

a/n: OK, I lied about this being the final chapter (no one is surprised). I decided it'd be better to split the final part into two because it was getting pretty long and I didn't want to rush it, so here we go. At least we'll get some answers in this chapter :'D The 'epilogue' will be posted soon, hopefully tomorrow already or on Tuesday the latest so stay tuned for that!

Hope you guys enjoy, and please let me know what you think!!

Words: 2,7k+

Genre: fluff, humor

Warnings: none

previous chapters / AO3

...

For a couple of months the Bad Boy Supreme showed up at the coffee shop pretty much every day. Sometimes he stayed a bit longer - those days weren’t that busy at the garage so Jo was fine with him staying – and sometimes he just dropped by to say a quick hi to Calypso, but he still always came. That’s why, when he suddenly didn’t appear anymore, Calypso got really worried. Had something happened to him? Had she done something wrong? Those questions and more went through her head.

On the first day that he was away, Calypso kept glancing at the clock every couple of minutes, and back to the door, but she didn’t see the familiar curly hair anywhere. When a full hour had gone since the guy’s regular break time, Calypso was visibly restless and pacing back and forth behind the counter. It got to a point where Reyna had to pull her to the backroom to talk to her.

“Are you really that wound up over that guy? Wow, Calypso, I knew you liked him but… this is getting kind of out of hands. I’m sure there’s some perfectly understandable reason why he isn’t coming today; he is probably just too busy or has caught a cold or something else completely normal.”

“But… what if it’s something I did?” Calypso asked with frustration, pulling the end of her braid.

“You haven’t done anything wrong; I saw him smile as wide as you can possibly imagine when he left yesterday. So, please calm down,” Reyna tried to reassure her.

Calypso moped at her. “Easier said than done. But about that earlier: who has said anything about me liking him? I’m just worrying about him… like you’d worry about a friend?”

“Goodness, Cal, you should see your face every time he appears. I can see you trying to keep a poker face but your eyes say ‘bésame ahora’,” Reyna teased.

Calypso did have a pretty good idea of what that sentence meant even though she didn’t know a lot of Spanish (although she was more motivated to learn now that she knew the Bad Boy Supreme was a Spanish speaker as well). She felt her face heat at Reyna’s implications but still wasn’t ready to admit that her coworker may have been right.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying now,” she claimed but Reyna didn’t buy it.

“You definitely do,” she stated. “You’re not that amazing an actress, you know. Your voice got squeaky and I could compare the color of your face to tomatoes.”

“Whatever.” Calypso rolled her eyes. “Can we please go back to work now? I don’t want to keep the people waiting.”

“You know just as well as me that it’s quiet at this time of the day,” Reyna reminded her. “But sure, we can go back as long as you’ll stop pacing around like crazy.”

“I will,” Calypso promised. “I don’t owe anything to that guy anymore and he doesn’t owe anything to me either so he doesn’t have to come here if he doesn’t want to.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Reyna.

“He still hasn’t told you his name?” Reyna asked with surprise, having noticed Calypso calling him ‘that guy’. “That’s so weird. I thought he’s just into you as you’re into him.”

“Well, we’re just playing this game…” Calypso started hesitantly. “Ugh, forget about it. I could easily ask his coworkers or something but I don’t want to pry. He’ll slip it eventually.”

“Okay, I’ll just call him Bad Boy Supreme then,” Reyna shrugged before going back to her work.

…

Days passed. The first few days Calypso tried to calm herself down by telling herself that her mystery guy really was just busy and he’d surely come back soon enough. But once a couple of weeks had gone since his last appearance, she became restless again. This time Reyna and the others decided that it was better to just let her be that way until it passed because there really wasn’t much they could say to comfort her. As a result, Calypso seemed more effective in her work but mistakes also happened more often and she had to apologize to her customers at least twice as often as she had previously. The manager luckily brushed it off as a ‘learning process’.

Eventually that phase ended, though. After a few months had gone by, Calypso started to get convinced that the Bad Boy Supreme was not coming back. She was now calm again but at the break time she still kept glancing at the door sadly, hoping to see the familiar figure. She hadn’t realized how much she really had been looking forward to his visits until they abruptly ended and she wished she had gotten a chance to tell him that before he disappeared. But maybe it was better this way; maybe she had been the more interested one, just like in all of her previous relationships.

On one busy afternoon, Calypso wasn’t thinking about the mystery guy a lot anymore. Sure, she had briefly noted that it was the usual break time again, but she was no longer expecting to see him and was focused on serving the customers that were currently present. That’s why, when the bells above the door rang again and in came a new customer, she didn’t pay a lot of attention to him at first. She just nodded and said a quick hi before finally raising her gaze from her work to see who had arrived. Her mouth involuntarily opened into the shape of ‘O’ when she finally registered who it was. There was no mistaking that curly hair and the mischievous, yet warm, almost chocolate colored eyes.

“Oh my gods, it’s you!” She finally managed to squeak after gulping a couple of times so she could get some voice out of her mouth. Her face melted into the widest smile she was capable of and she had to contain herself so she wouldn’t jump over the desk to hug him. “I didn’t… I wasn’t expecting…” She cleared her throat and said with a lower, fake angry voice: “I mean, you’re really late, mister.”

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, but still seemingly happy to see her. “Sorry ‘bout that, Sunshine, a lot of weird things happened recently and I just couldn’t come here even though I wanted to.”

“Well, you’re going to have to explain to me what exactly happened,” Calypso demanded. She couldn’t keep her face angry for long, though. “But before that, what do you want to drink? A double espresso?”

“You know well it was a one time occasion and I didn’t even get that drink!” The guy reminded her. “I’d like your freshly made orange soda today, though. It reminds me of Sunshine.”

“Okay, coming up,” Calypso nodded, wondering if the air conditioning didn’t work that day because she was suddenly feeling rather warm.

“Not gonna ask my name today, are you?” the guy asked with amusement while watching her do her work.

“No. I don’t need to,” Calypso said mysteriously without raising her eyes from the cup.

“Oh?” he asked curiously but she didn’t elaborate so he moved to the other counter to wait.

Calypso took her time with the soda and the guy seemed to wonder if she did that on purpose, until finally she stepped forward and gave him the plastic cup with his ‘name’ on it.

“Alright, Bad Boy Supreme, here you go!”

The guy’s thoughtful frown melted into a huge smile immediately. “Did… I just hear right??” he asked and checked the cup. “Did you just say the magic word?”

“I did, but don’t you dare to make a big number out of it!” she warned, but the twinkle in her eye was enough to tell that she wasn’t being serious.

“No worries, no worries, I won’t,” the Bad Boy Supreme reassured her, raising his free hand up. “But what made you change your mind? I thought you refused to say it?”

“I don’t want to tell,” Calypso said reluctantly.

“C’mon, just do it.”

Calypso didn’t answer for a while, pretending to be more interested in swiping the table. When the guy didn’t show any signs of giving up, though, she finally spoke. “The truth is that I promised to myself that if you’d show up again, I would finally give in. Well, I did it. You won. Go ahead and laugh.”

“No, I won’t. That’s kinda sweet of you.” There was a short pause. “Well, I promised to tell you my real name, so here it comes: I’m Leo. Leo Valdez,” the Bad Boy Supreme said sheepishly and looked a bit embarrassed for some reason.

“Leo,” Calypso tasted the name on her tongue. “I think I like it. It does suit you better than Bad Boy Supreme.”

Leo took a swig from his cup to get something to do with his hands. “Eh heh. Listen. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier. It was pretty stupid of me… I didn’t intend to keep that game going that long because I actually wanted you to learn to know me better. And I wanted to learn to know you better.”

Surprising even herself, Calypso said: “Don’t worry about it. If I really would have tried, I’m sure I would have found out somehow, for example going to your boss and asking her. I… had kind of fun trying to guess it. I wasn’t too far off with that Leon, right?”

“That’s true,” Leo grinned. “I was kind of trying to bluff when I started talking about Ed instead so you wouldn’t notice my reaction to that name.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember that!” Calypso exclaimed. “I should have gotten the hint.”

“Well, you know now and that’s what matters, right?” Leo asked.

“Yeah. Um, and about that thing you said earlier…” Calypso blamed the air conditioner for feeling even warmer than a moment before. “I’d like to learn to know you better as well. Although thinking about it, you’ve probably told me more than you even realize already. About Emmie, Jo, Georgina, your friends, family, Festus… But hey, you promised to tell me why you were gone so long, so come on, let’s go sit there so you can fill me in.”

Calypso’s workmates knew better than to say no to her when she suggested having a break so she could talk with Leo, and they went to sit at an empty table opposite to each other.

“So, what happened?” Calypso asked once they were seated.

“Well… remember how we one time talked about our future dreams?” Leo asked, to which Calypso nodded. “After that talk I started doing some maths in my head - yeah, laugh ahead, but I can actually count surprisingly well - and discussed the topic also with Jo and Emmie and they said they’d be more than happy to help me give me a chance to continue studying. Practically, it means they’re willing to give me more flexible work hours and they promised that I can continue staying at their house until I want to or have enough money to move to a place of my own. We have some mechanics come and go and many of them stay there for long periods of time so it’s no problem for them. Anyway, after that I learned that the next entrance exam for the mechanical engineering program would be held in about a month so I needed to start studying right away. That’s a big reason why I didn’t have time to come here, but it was worth it, because guess what…” He pulled a big envelope from his bag. “I just got this today. And it says…” he did some drum rolls on the table with his fingers. “I got in!”

“That’s amazing!” Calypso exclaimed and couldn’t hold herself still anymore, instead getting up from her chair to hug him. “I’m very happy for you!”

“Of course it means I’ll have less time to come here in the future but we’ll make it work, right?” Leo said a bit uncertainly once they separated, blushing hard.

“What do you mean with ‘we’?” Calypso asked, not wanting to give herself false hope.

Leo rubbed the back of his neck. “Um… I… that… of course I still wanna keep seeing you! Why do you think I came to this coffee shop every day for several months even though I don’t even drink coffee?” “You… came because of me? I mean, I thought…”

“For such a smart seeming girl you really are dense,” Leo noted. “Of course I came because I liked you. You made quite the first impression already on the day we met.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, then?” Calypso wanted to know.

“Because at first I thought you were way out of my league and probably hated me and then you told me you had recently broken up with someone and… yeah. Multiple reasons. And then the college thing happened and my friend Jason got into an accident and… Sorry, I guess I didn’t mention that yet,” Leo finished when he noticed Calypso’s expression.

“Wait, what? Your friend got into an accident? Is he OK?” Calypso asked with concern.

“Yeah, he’s gonna be OK. He had luck on his side because that car accident could have ended a whole lot differently but he’s now recovering in the hospital. The doctors expect him to make a full recovery. But we were definitely quite worried about him for a while.”

“I’m sorry… But I’m happy he’s getting better.” Calypso said, resting her hand on Leo’s for a moment as a gesture of comfort.

“Yeah… It’s a relief…” Leo nodded absentmindedly.

“You sounded like you wanted to tell something else as well.” Calypso remarked after a while.

Leo seemed to snap out of his thoughts. “Well, you’re not wrong… Did I ever tell you that I’ve never met my real dad? Well, I have now. Turns out he’s working at the same college I applied for, I saw him on the day of my entrance exam. A huge technology nerd, it seems. No, I’m not planning to stay in touch with him in my free time – the dude abandoned me and my mother before even legally admitting he’s my father – but… I dunno. It is still kind of interesting to see what kind of person he is.”

“Wow, sounds like you’ve really had a lot going since we last met. But it is good to hear things are starting to work out… and who knows, maybe your father turns out to be a decent guy. Wouldn’t that be great?” Calypso asked.

“I guess…” he shrugged. “But right now I’m more interested in other things.”

“Such as…?” Calypso inquired.

“You really missed me that much that you were even ready to call me Bad Boy Supreme if I showed up again?” Leo teased.

“Oh gods, I was wondering when the jerk would appear again…” Calypso said with partially faked annoyance.

“You still like me, though,” Leo stated.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

A moment of silence.

“Leo Valdez, will you go out with me?” Calypso blurted before she could regret it.

“Yes… I mean… YES?!” He stared at her with wide eyes and she couldn’t help but giggle at his expression.

“Alright, glad to know where we stand.”

Leo was quiet for a while. “Holy shit, I can’t believe you just asked me out…” he looked at the distance with a dreamy expression on his face. “I was hoping but…”

“Well, you don’t have to hope anymore, silly. I really did it.” Calypso smiled at him encouragingly.

“I… I…” Leo was still too flustered to say much else.

“I guess that means ‘I’m looking forward to it’?” Calypso interpreted before glancing at the queue of customers by the counter. “Looks like I should go back to work but I can text you afterwards.”

“Alright…”

The couple exchanged their phone numbers, but before Calypso handed Leo’s phone back, she surprised him once more by giving him a kiss on the cheek. Once she was already long gone, Leo still remained on his seat, his fingers touching the spot where her lips had been.

[blue-lions-baby]

Scars That We Can’t Erase (Dimitri x F!Reader)

hi!! this fic was requested by an anon! i’m so sorry i realized too late that once i replied to the original request i can’t like reply to it anymore does that make sense i’ve been studying for six hours pLEASE i absolutely fell in love with the given prompt, and i hope my writing did it justice! here is the original request--

“Hi! Can i get some dimitri × fem reader in which dima literally adores the reader please? One time, the reader takes a grave hit for him in battle and he is a worried mess? He cant stop thinking about her, his training is sloppy because he cant concentrate, he feels awful. He even stays at the infirmary with her all day and night while she's unconscious, manuela has to force him to get some rest. He feels terrible and guilty when seeing the scar that the reader has (oh poor boi-) Thanks! Ilysm♡ “

i should also let you guys know that this fic (imo at least) is a bit more... intense, compared to my other ones. it does get rather lighthearted towards the end, so hopefully it kinda balances out ???

pre-timeskip and no spoilers!!

~*~

No...

No, no, no...

The last thing that Dimitri saw was your quivering, paling lips and your frame crumbling to the blood-soaked ground.

The last thing that Dimitri heard was Byleth’s cries for a healer and the way your name mangled out of his throat in a blood-curdling scream-- along with the sickeningly sweet cries of the bandit who struck you down as he stabbed, stabbed, stabbed the poor bastard’s soul out of his botched body.

The last thing Dimitri felt on his lips was blood. Blood from his tongue-- the pink, throbbing muscle oozing with red liquid-- or from the pulp of that bastard’s corpse, he did not know or care. The hauntingly warm liquid stained the corners of his lips and the core of his very soul as the deep holes and gashes he imprinted on the man’s body left ribbons of flesh hanging from visibly cracked bones, rendering him nearly unrecognizable as a human being.

“Dimitri! That’s enough!” A voice that sounded eerily similar to his professor’s wormed its way into his mind.

“How dare you lay a finger on her, you monster!”

“Your Highness, he’s already dead! Just leave him alone!” Cried a legion of voices, none holding familiarity to him.

“I will punish you for what you did! For what you did to (F/N)!”

It was his fault.

It was all his fault.

If only he saw that bandit rushing towards him.

If only he saw the glistening of the ruffian’s axe as he swung the sharpened slab of metal at him.

If only he heard you call out his name, a foreshadow to his bloody fate.

If only you didn’t jump in to save him.

If only he could have saved you.

Scenes of you falling before his very eyes kept replaying in his head, tearing open the fresh, guilt-induced wounds in his heart in a never-ending cycle. Something solid-- arms, perhaps-- grappled onto his pulsing, aching arms, which he shrugged off with ease. He wasn’t going to stop until that monster of a man suffered the consequences for hurting you. He wasn’t going to stop until that monster of a man paid his dues. He wasn’t going to stop--

Until he felt a gentle hold on his wrist.

Dimitri, snapping out of his blood-lusting reverie, paused instantly. He jerked his face to the small, shaking hand that just barely ghosted the surface of his gauntlet.

Your small, shaking hand.

“Dimitri...” A hand as beautiful as the one steadying his shaking wrist cupped his cheek, erasing the splatters of impurities that marred his smooth skin. “Please, stop...”

The fractured lance in his hand fell to the ground as its owner caught you in his arms, preventing you from suffering the same fate. Dimitri stumbled to his knees, fatigue and overexertion having finally caught up to him. Wheezing and hugging you as tightly as he could, he stroked your matted, sweaty, yet gorgeous locks with the gentleness of a lover. The delicate footsteps of Mercedes caught his attention and he looked up at his peer.

“Your Highness,” her eyes turned to you then back to him, “she’s going to be okay.”

Everything went black.

~*~

The carefree songs of swallows were the first to greet the groggy prince as he re-entered the world of consciousness. Although his hearing slowly came back to the awakened male, he just couldn’t will his eyelids to lift. And so he laid there, his ears the only channel to the bustling world around him.

“How are they?” Asked a monotone voice, stained with concern.

“Thankfully, the prince didn’t suffer any major wounds. A few scratches here and there, as well as some swelling and light bruising, but nothing too serious. Still, we should be careful straining his body any further. As for (F/N)...”

He heard the flirtatious healer heave heavily; his heart crumbled.

“That Mercedes girl did a splendid job patching her up in the moment. If you were to come even a moment later, we would have lost her.”

“So they’ll both live?” Dimitri recognized that worried tone from anywhere-- his loyal retainer.

“His Highness, for sure. (F/N), she... I’ve done everything I could to patch her up, but...”

“So... The best thing we can do is just... wait?”

“That’s the only thing we can do, Professor.”

Dimitri heard footsteps approach his bedside, then shortly congregate to elsewhere. The royal, disheartened and spirit-broken, let out a pitiful gurgle akin to a cry.

“Dimitri!”

“Your Highness!”

Through brute force and sheer will, he wrested his eyes open. The gentle morning light harshly struck his still-delicate pupils, making him wince. A raging headache tore through his temples, threatening to split his skull open.

“(F-F/N)...” He found himself muttering. “Where--? Where is--?”

“She is here, Your Highness.” Dedue motioned to the still figure beside the prince. “She is... not in the best condition.”

“I heard.” Dimitri dismissed the oncoming report, knowing his heart would all but collapse from within if he had to hear your grim fate iterated again. “I heard... everything.”

“Dimitri,” his professor began, “do you need anything?”

“Actually... May you please help me sit up?”

I can’t get a good look at her from this angle...

“No can do, Prince Dimitri.” Manuela retorted. “Even though your wounds are not as severe as (F/N)’s, we really shouldn’t put your body under any more stress.”

“Ms. Manuela, please. I beg of you.” Dimitri paused. “T-Truthfully, this position is rather uncomfortable. I would feel much better if I were to be readjusted.”

Manuela sighed, glanced over the royal’s swollen limbs and cut appendages, and reluctantly nodded.

“All right, fine. Let us know if anything starts to hurt.”

“Of course. You have my thanks. All of you.”

While Dedue busied himself propping and fluffing the pillows to Dimitri’s comfort, Manuela and Byleth worked together to assist the royal. They slowly managed to complete the task, doing their best to inflict as little pain as possible to the wincing and grimacing male.

“T-Thank you.” He breathed out shakily. “I feel... better now.”

“Do you require anything else, Your Highness?” Dedue questioned.

“I am fine, thank you. I just need time to... reflect.”

“I understand. I will wait outside should you need anything.” Dedue arose mechanically, bowed, and went outside to his station.

“Well, I need to run to town to restock on some medical supplies. I will be back as soon as I can. Goodbye.~” Manuela winked, patted Byleth on the shoulder, and sauntered away.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” Byleth asked again, double-checking on the fluffed pillows.

“I am fine, Professor. Thank you for your help, as always.” Dimitri smiled slightly.

Byleth nodded, glanced at their other student, and leaned down.

“She’s going to be okay, Dimitri.”

Dimitri said nothing, the words meant to reassure only fueling his anxiety. All he could muster was a feigned smile and a small nod.

“Thank you for the encouragement, Professor.”

And Byleth was off, no doubt hurrying back to the rest of the Lions.

Now Dimitri was alone, save for Dedue who was ready to attend to his lord's every whim and command.

And... you.

Dimitri’s head lolled to face you. You were neatly tucked in the infirmary bed, a thin blanket cascaded over your body. So thin, in fact, that he could see the outline of the thick bandaging about your torso and shoulder.

Memories of the previous battle flooded his mind.

Distinct, biting, and painful memories that he’d do anything to bury in the oblivion-- to tuck away in the dark recesses of his mind, never to see the light of consciousness ever again.

He lifted his arm, forgoing his body’s desire to rest the battered limb, in a futile attempt to reach you-- to hold you.

So close, yet so far.

He remembered how his name was the last thing to spill out of your shaking, colorless lips as the lilting (E/C) hues he fell in love with gave way to a hollow, lifeless sheen.

How you were within his grasp-- within his reach-- yet he could do nothing to save you.

Except needlessly pulverize a dead man’s body into literal shreds.

Oh, Goddess.

His classmates.

His fellow Lions.

He had no direct memory of the faces or expressions he saw in his frenzy, yet he remembered it so distinctly. Although he possessed no recollections to base this on, he could clearly see each and every one of their faces painted with horror and quite possibly revulsion at the murderous monstrosity he managed to commit.

“Deem...”

Dimitri almost choked. He very nearly jumped out of bed if the shooting pain in his legs didn’t remind him of his sorry state.

“(F/N)...?!” Groaning, he turned his whole body to face you. “C-Can you hear me...?!”

“...ma.”

Your eyelids shuddered before stilling once more. He heard a quiet, labored wheeze rise from your chest before you succumbed to another deep sleep. A rush of emotions throbbed through his heart, each one too complex and short-lived for the prince to process.

“(F/N)...” He reached out his hand again, knowing full well that you were beyond his grasp. “I do not know if you can hear me, but please... Live.”

~*~

Within a day Dimitri’s body was healed of most of its external wounds, but his soul was still as ravaged as the battlefield you fell in. While the rest of the Lions greeted their leader with open arms (all except one, spitting out how his display in their previous skirmish proved he was “nothing but a feral boar,”) Dimitri could only return a fraction of their enthusiasm. He still smiled and trained and attended lectures, but the dark bags forming under his blank eyes were a physical manifestation of the raging storm within.

“Ope! Gotcha again, Your Highness!” Sylvain fisted the air triumphantly, hoping his smug arrogance would arouse a competitive flame within the despondent teen.

“Ah... It appears you have.” Dimitri mumbled, more so to himself than to Sylvain, and slipped into a fighting stance. “Let us try again.”

“Actually, Your Highness...” Sylvain leaned on the wooden training lance. “How about we take a short break. We’ve been training all afternoon.”

“Has it been that long?” Dimitri blinked, looking up at the still-blue skies.

“Yeah. C’mon. I’ll take care of the lances, you just sit down and make yourself comfortable.”

Although Dimitri would typically fight and say something along the lines of how he couldn’t possibly allow someone to take care of something he could so easily do himself, Sylvain found the lance slip out of the royal’s fingers with ease. After propping the training weapons on a rack, Sylvain joined Dimitri on a bench.

“So Your Highness,” Sylvain slid to his friend’s side, “we... couldn’t help noticing that...”

“Yes?”

“Well...” Sylvain trailed off again. “Ever since... you know... You haven’t been your usual self. At all.”

“Is that so...” Dimitri mumbled, staring at the ground with great interest.

“Yeah... We’ve all been really worried about you, Your Highness. We just... We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Dimitri stared unblinkingly at nothing, utterly reaction-less to his friend’s voiced concern. He remained unmoving for a long time; Sylvain thought that if he so much as laid a hand on Dimitri’s shoulder, he would all but shatter into irreparable shards.

“... I apologize for my rudeness Sylvain, but I must go to the infirmary.”

“Huh--?”

“It is of utmost importance. Please excuse me.”

“Ah--! Hey, wait--!”

The prince managed to just barely slip out of the redhead’s outstretched palm, gracefully bobbing out of reach and the training grounds.

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

“You have to take care of yourself too, you know.” Manuela clicked her tongue disapprovingly, setting down a lit candle on a nearby table.

“Thank you for your concern Ms. Manuela, but I can assure you that I am feeling just fine.” Dimitri replied flatly, his glossy pupils not leaving your frame for a second.

“Sure, but the bags under your eyes say otherwise.”

Dimitri’s fingertips grazed the sensitive stretch of skin on his face, his upper eyelid twitching in response to the gentle touch.

“I do not care much for personal vanity.”

“It’s a sign that you’re not getting enough sleep.” Manuela retorted sharply, smoothing out the crinkles on a nearby bed. “Here. I prepared a bed for you. If you’re going to spend the night here, at least do it on a bed.”

Sunken azure hues rested on the stiff, plank-like cot longingly before snapping back to your ashy complexion.

“Thank you, Ms. Manuela. I will make use of it later.”

“No, Prince Dimitri. Rest. Now.”

Brown, fiery eyes clashed with bleary blues as the healer and prince remained locked in a fierce staring match. Dimitri’s eyes began to water as he stifled a yawn, reluctantly accepting defeat as he slowly stood up and headed for the bed.

“Good. Thank you.” The prince’s yawn seemed to rub off on Manuela as she stretched her arms to the sky. “Go to sleep, all right? Don’t stay up too late.”

“Yes, Ms. Manuela...”

Manuela initiated one last check on your battered body, bade a goodnight to the royal, and slipped out of the infirmary.

Dimitri peered blankly at the barren ceiling, a cacophonous symphony comprised of self-hatred and regret premiering at the forefront of his thoughts. And the soloist singing for eternal damnation to his soul was none other than you-- you, whom he so lovingly adored. You, who helped pull him from the abyss more times than he could count. You, the light that warded off his thickening darkness. And how did he show his profound appreciation towards you?

By sentencing you to eternal sleep for his carelessness.

Dimitri twisted his body to face you, the delicate mask that he had so calculatingly designed crumbling at the near-lifeless shell before him. The shallow, unsteady rise and fall of your chest was the only indicator that your soul hadn’t left your body; he grew terrified at the prospect of it dipping and never rising. He made conscious effort to avert his eyes from that region-- not only out of the high regard he held towards you, but...

The more he lingered on images of your stilling body, the tighter his chest grew.

Just thinking about it threatened how much air his lungs could take in.

He rocked himself to a sitting position and slipped his feet out of bed. He dutifully made his way back to his original post-- on a rickety stool by your bedside. He firmly planted his rear on the round slab of wood and tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair from your forehead.

Goddess you were so, so beautiful.

He felt almost guilty admiring you while you were in such a state, but the way the singular lit candle contoured every feature, every dip in your face in the most heavenly way possible... He couldn’t help it. His hand found residence in yours, taking painstaking note of the very obvious size difference. His other hand busied itself smoothing your unruly hair, quelling the frazzled strands from a complete uproar.

He’d trade his life for yours in a heartbeat if it meant that he could witness the lively (E/C) hues he fell so desperately in love with shine once again.

A lone finger hooked under your jaw and the rest of his digits caressed your icy cheek.

“(F/N)...” His voice cracked out, “I am so, so sorry...”

Something hot leaked out of his eyes and splattered onto your cheek, in which he alarmingly wiped away. He reached up to halt the steady stream of tears pouring out of him, but the dam had broken. His large frame hunched over into a quivering mass, broken sobs echoing off of the indifferent walls of the dark infirmary. Only half-empty bottles of medicine bore witness to the royal’s breakdown; his sloppy apologies and implorations fell on the earless bushels of medicinal herbs.

The small candle that Manuela had previously set up was nearing its end, the stumpy mass of wax and wick now a mere puddle of its former self. Before the few remaining trickles of light embarked on their last pilgrimage across the room, Dimitri made one last guttural plea.

“Wake up, my Beloved...” He called out, the name he had granted you only in his mind slipping out in his desperate hour. “Please, wake up...”

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

The mellow arias of songbirds heralded the beginning of a new day. A biting breeze blew through an open window and sliced your exposed skin, eliciting little goosebumps on the affected areas. With a breathless sigh and a pain-stricken moan, your eyelids managed to wedge themselves open. A bland ceiling was the first to welcome you back to the land of the living-- along with a large, dark mass hovering beside you.

You felt the remnants of a scream scratch out of your sorely unused throat and a sudden barrage of aches and pains besieged your frail body. You opened your mouth to yell, to cry for help, but no sound manifested. You felt something rough but warm adjust its grip on your hand, further sending your mind into a groggy panic.

“Mmph... (F/N)...”

That... That voice...

You stilled yourself (not that you were moving much anyway) and silently studied the steadily breathing shadow beside you. The dim dawn’s light reflected off of a bundle of disheveled gold locks, as well as a bright blue cape that was messily slung over a male’s shoulder.

A maelstrom of memories swirled through your mind.

A ruffian racing towards Dimitri, the edge of a bloodied and rusted axe swinging right for his neck.

Your legs discovering a mind of its own as it placed you right on the receiving end of the strike.

Your head throbbed, each surge of memory more painful than the last.

Darkness, followed by the putrid, metallic smell of blood in the distance and other auditory sensations too disturbing to fully comprehend.

Something warm and comforting pricked the corner of your heart as you recalled a certain sensation akin to embracing before you blacked out. Your thoughts frustratingly hazed into nothing. It felt like a certain memory was locked, forever lost behind an impenetrable brain fog. You wracked and sifted through your fragmented memories, but pieced together nothing. 

The first few rays of light began to peak over the horizon, streaming into the room in gentle waves; you squinted your eyes, still unused to any light source brighter than a candle. As your vision slowly readjusted to the brightening room, your eyes caught sight of something that almost sent you back to sleep.

Your fingers tightly entwined with Dimitri’s.

Your weak heart thundered loudly in your ears-- so loud, in fact, you worried that it would be enough to rouse the slumbering prince. As cautiously as you could, your body writhed itself in a futile attempt to sit yourself up. You kept a careful eye on the prince, noting how dark the circles under his eyes have become and how hollow his cheeks have turned. The fact that rest had eluded him for however long you were unconscious was as plain as day.

You shifted your stiff legs a bit; the frame of your bed let out a booming groan.

Dimitri quietly snorted and his neck reeled upwards; alarmed blue eyes met with equally alarmed (E/C). The veins in Dimitri’s neck swam to the surface of his skin, growing more and more defined as every choking second passed. 

“H-...” You began. “Hi...”

“(F/N)!” 

Your surroundings whizzed right past you before you were unceremoniously slammed into something solid but so, so... warm. 

Ah...

You remembered now.

This tenderness.

This contentment.

This warmth.

Dimitri held you in his arms, stroking your hair and mumbling rushed whispers as he did the day you fell.

“(F/N)... Oh, (F/N)...”

You felt how hard and rapid his heart was beating, almost deafening the incoherent whispers he sighed into your hair. Your arms weakly wrapped around his heaving back, rubbing it as soothingly as you could. He pulled you closer in response-- closer, closer, closer, until every inch of you was smothered by him. Hesitant, trembling fingers graced your tightly wound bandages and you felt something warm and wet splatter onto your exposed shoulder.

“Dimitri...” You pulled away slightly to look up at him and smiled. “It’s okay... I’m okay...”

“(F/N), I--” Clear, shiny beads of remorse pricked the corners of the prince’s eyes. “I’m so sorry. Goddess, I am so sorry, I... I’m so--”

You reached a finger to his lips, your heart splintering into tinier and tinier pieces as you watched the man you love slur apology after apology for a crime he did not commit.

“It’s okay, Dimitri... I'm okay now... I’ll be okay.”

The door quietly clicked open and a slender leg slipped itself into the tiny crack. The rest of Manuela slid in, along with a tray of vials and herbs.

“Oh--!” The healer tripped on her own two feet, dropping the tray and all of its contents onto the ground. She stumbled over the tied wad of herbs and leaking bottles of medicine that she had so desperately haggled from a travelling merchant.

“(F-F/N)?” She stuttered, slowly closing the distance between you two. “H-How are you feeling?”

“Um, w-well...” You peered down sheepishly, suddenly becoming very aware of the... intimate position you were in. “I am a bit achy all over but--”

“Ah!” Dimitri immediately released you from his arms and he shot out of his stool, almost tripping backwards. “P-Please forgive me! I was so caught up with my emotions, I did not even ask for your consent to hold you in such a way, a-and your wounds--!”

“Oh! N-No, Dimitri, it’s all right! I-- Uh--”

A rich chuckle from the older woman padded the shrill squeaks that poured out of you and your house leader.

“Well, Prince Dimitri... I’m afraid you can’t have her just yet. I still have to do a thorough check up on her. But after that... she’s all yours.”

Scarlet seeped into the royal’s cheeks, his sickly pallor bursting into hearty ruddiness. Broken vowels tumbled out of him as he clumsily rested his arse back onto the wooden stool.

“Actually Prince Dimitri,” Manuela began as she checked your vitals, “can you notify the professor that (F/N) has awakened?”

“You can count on me, Ms. Manuela.” Dimitri dutifully stood up and bowed. “I will deliver the news to Professor Byleth.”

Casting one last glance at you and bashfully looking down when he caught your eye, Dimitri hurried out of the infirmary to complete possibly the most important mission ever entrusted to him.

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

After your awakening, your classmates and professor began incorporating regular infirmary visits into their schedule. They showered you with kind, encouraging words and occasionally bore small gifts, constantly reminding you that they were right alongside you on your road to recovery.

But your most frequent visitor of all was your beloved house leader.

Every morning, without fail, he would grace your presence with the pleasant aroma of freshly prepared breakfast.

Every afternoon-- after class and training-- he spent his days with you, informing and personally tutoring you over concepts the class learned that day. Or simply providing his company, ensuring that the sinking and crushing feeling of loneliness never found residence in your heart. 

Every evening, after all of his academic and princely duties have been met, he delivered your dinner trays with a sparkle in his eye and a smile on his lips.

"Is everything all right? Is there anything else you would like to go over from today’s lesson? If not, perhaps I can fetch you a glass of water in case you grow parched during the night.”

“Dimitri,” you laughed as you slowly rested your weary back on freshly-fluffed pillows, “you’re just downright spoiling me! I’m going to miss all this special treatment when I’m finally discharged.”

“W-Well, I would be more than happy to continue doing this long after you have been discharged.” Dimitri coughed. “I love-- er, rather, I find my time with you to be quite enjoyable.”

“Even though you’re constantly running around and fetching me whatever my heart desires?” You giggled.

“Why, of course! Seeing you content and well brings me insurmountable joy.”

“You’re so thoughtful, Dimitri.” You couldn’t help but grin after seeing how flushed his face turned. “Thank you so much for everything. You and all the other Lions have made my time in the infirmary so much more bearable. It’s... nice to feel loved like this.”

“You are loved, (F/N).” Dimitri threw the thin blanket over you. “You are an integral part to our house... and... t-to me.”

“Pardon?” You leaned forward, hoping to catch whatever he stuttered.

“N-Nothing. Please do not worry yourself over it. It is not very important.” He shot you a reassuring smile before your bandages entered his field of vision. Shame streaked across his features; his hold on the edge of the blanket loosened as he unconsciously stepped away from you.

“Dimitri...” You reached out for him, hoping he would take your hand as he always did. The prince kept his distance however, refusing to even look at you.

“(F/N)... (F/N), I’m--”

“Dimitri,” you raised your palm, “stop.”

Pure, unmasked horror bruised his handsome features.

“I-I apologize if I have offended you in some way--”

“It’s not that. It’s...” You sighed, closing your eyes. “Dimitri... What happened that day is not your fault. There is not a single drop of rage or bitterness in my heart. I can’t forgive you, simply because I was never mad at you to begin with. So please... Don’t look so pained when you see my bandages.”

Your stomach knotted painfully as a second alternative was made clear in your mind.

“Unless... Perhaps my wounds disgust you in some way...”

“Goddess, no!” Dimitri interjected immediately. “That cannot possibly be further from the truth. Your beauty has never waned-- not even for a second.”

The royal’s hand flew to cover his mouth while you both peered at each other, sharing the same shocked expression on your faces. Dimitri had never possessed such a strong desire to catapult himself into the sun. He remained frozen in fear, unsure how or if he could even save himself from his slip.

You tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear and looked down, the corners of your lips slightly turned upward. Dimitri found it unnecessary to fling himself into the sun since his cheeks had practically burst into flames at this point.

“O-Oh... Um... Thank you...” You managed to mumble, fidgeting with your blanket sheepishly.

“Um--!” Dimitri cleared his throat, jumped out of his seat, and bowed deeply. “I-It is getting quite late, is it not? I am afraid I must retire for the evening. Goodnight (F-F/N).”

The upper half of his body snapped downward in another deep bow as the prince hastily retreated from his social blunder. When the door clicked closed, you had all but broken into laughter. You pleasantly recalled Manuela’s previous remark towards the prince, and your heart danced in your chest. 

“Your beauty has never waned-- not even for a second.”

You buried your face in your palms and let out a quiet, airy scream, a delightful rush of emotions coursing through you. You laughed almost maniacally to yourself, and you were certain if someone were to walk in on you right this moment they would think you had gone absolutely mad. Look at you! Acting like an antsy little schoolgirl! How embarrassing!

Then again, there should be no shame in experiencing such highs. Especially when it’s related to Dimitri! You gingerly twisted your body so you that you were face-first into your pillow before letting out a happy, muffled scream.

Meanwhile, Dimitri was marching back to his room, head down and thankful that at least the cover of night was enough to hide the flushed tone of his face. Like you, he replayed that one line-- that little slip of his tongue-- in his head over and over again. Unlike you, he wished to chain his feet to a cinder block and toss himself into the lake. Hopefully the fish would be willing to share the same space with an idiot of his caliber.

Still, even as he flung himself into the comforting embrace of his bed, his thoughts couldn’t help but drift to your response to his idiocy. The way you looked down, smiling gently at his words, the tips of your ears adopting a shade of baby pink... 

You were so... 

So...

Cute...! 

Dimitri subjected his poor pillow to a bone-crushing hug as he buried his face in the mushy thing, imagining the soft, velvety texture of his pillow to be your skin and the warmth of the stuffed fabric to be your body pressed flushed against his.

Racing thoughts and rose-tinted fantasies propelled you both further and further away from Sleep, who desperately sought out her sleepless prince and fidgety (Favorite Class). When Sleep finally took hold of you, she could do little to obstruct the joyous meeting you both shared with each other in the forgotten land of dreams. 

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

“Are you ready, (F/N)?”

You met Manuela’s steady gaze with your own. With a firm nod, you replied,

“Yes.”

The healer moved closer to you, her skilled hands undoing the set of bandages for the last time. Dimitri averted his frantic eyes to the wall when the dressing loosened just enough for your chest to peak through. A cold, unforgiving breeze whipped the newly exposed skin, jolting a shiver down your spine. Manuela clicked her tongue softly and slowly traced your shoulder.

“The wound’s all healed, but I’m afraid this scar’s here to stay...”

Your eyes immediately flashed over to Dimitri’s stiffening frame.

“I see...”

“You can apply certain creams on site to reduce its appearance, but it’ll never go away completely... I’m sorry, (F/N).”

“It’s all right, Ms. Manuela.” You flashed her a controlled smile. “Honestly, with all the regular outings to dispel bandits and whatnot... It was only a matter of time before I bore my first battle scar.”

Manuela’s lips curved upward and she patted you on your unmarked shoulder.

“Do you need anything else, (F/N)? Some water, or food?”

You hummed thoughtfully, then shook your head.

“All right. Should you need anything, all you have to do is holler.” Manuela gave you one last smile before excusing herself from the room.

Dimitri stood unmoving and unblinking, countering your hard stare with blatant refusal to look at your scar-- a physical memento of his failure.

“Dimitri.”

The prince visibly recoiled at the sound of his own name.

“Look at me.”

His jaw clenched tautly; his eyes crunched into a pain-stricken wince. 

“Look at me, please.”

He refused.

“I don’t blame you for this.”

. . .

“And I’ll never blame you for it.”

. . .

“If it means saving you, I’ll gladly do it again.”

This struck a chord with the prince, his enraged face suddenly mere inches away from yours.  

“Don’t you dare say such a thing.” He growled lowly. “I will not allow you to throw your life away for me.”

“Dimitri...” You cupped his cheek in your hand, in which he immediately melted into. “I’ll gladly do it again because... Because... I love you.”

Not a moment later did you feel something warm and soft press against your lips. The tips of his bangs lightly dusted the surface of your skin, tickling your nose with the crisp smell of Faerhgus pine. A pair of gloved hands caught either side of your face, thumbs rubbing shallow circles into your cheeks as he pressed his lips further into yours. His mouth moved sloppily but lovingly, awkwardly yet ardently adoringly against yours; a medley of celestial colors you’ve never seen before flashed brilliantly at the forefront of your mind, casting you into a dreamlike stupor.

Dimitri leapt back, panic stewing in his deep briny blues. His fingers brushed his still-tingling lips as he bowed lowly.

“F-Forgive me (F/N), I-.. I have no idea what possessed me to do such a thing! I suppose I was just, um, c-caught in the moment and--?!”

More than tired of hearing his apologies, you grabbed his shirt’s collar and jerked him back to where he was before-- contently and firmly pressed right against your lips. Your fingers bunched themselves into patches of velvety, wispy gold while your lips moved sanguinely against his, happily leading your mouth and his in a spicy dance. A small moan escaped your slightly opened lips and Dimitri, consumed by nothing but base desires, surprised your tongue with a face-to-face meeting. 

The wet muscle wrapped about yours, pulling you into an unyielding fight for dominance. You felt smooth sheets hit your exposed back; you hadn’t even noticed Dimitri progressively lowering the both of you onto your bed. He planted his hands on either side of your body, ridding any hope of escape from his ravaging kisses.

Not that you wanted to anyway. 

Dimitri’s lips left yours to wander around your face and neck, taking particular interest in the latter. He nipped the exposed skin, teething and sucking wherever his heart desired until you were covered in nothing but love bites.

Then he caught sight of your cleavage, simply irresistible and downright begging to be marked with his love.

Then he suddenly remembered that you two were in a very public place and not in the private confines of his bedroom or dreams.

“Ah-- Um--” Dimitri stammered, quickly pulling away from your panting form. “P-Perhaps we should... stop... before it escalates any further...”

You whined, wanting nothing more than to be showered with kisses and bathed in his worshiping love. But your senses, hazy as they may be, pulled through the fog and coldly reminded you of your current whereabouts. 

“Fine...” You pulled his fingers to your sultry lips and pressed a hot kiss on each digit. Dimitri’s jaw and pants tightened, the prince desperately clinging onto the last thread of sanity and reason which threatened to snap at any moment.

“My Beloved,” he purred sweetly, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek, “rest now. When your strength returns to its fullest, we can pick up where we left off. I swear it.”

You giggled, finding his attempt at being serious too adorable. The heat and passion was still very visible in his eyes, and it was obvious that anymore teasing on your end would send him over the edge.

You nodded sleepily as he pulled the covers over you. He graced your lips with one more kiss before he stood up.

“Class will be starting shortly. Do you need anything before I go?”

“Mm...” You looked up coyly. “One more kiss, please!”

Dimitri chuckled, happily fulfilling both of your wishes.

“My Beloved is too cute for her own good...” He murmured huskily into your ear. “It should be a crime to be this captivating.”

“Then maybe you should punish me tonight~?”

“T-That’s...” Dimitri’s smug confidence had instantly dissipated. “S-Sleep well, (F/N).”

You had never seen a person’s cheeks go so red so fast. Dimitri zoomed out of the infirmary with a chorale of laughter bubbling out of his beloved.

Not a moment later after the door closed, it opened again just enough for the prince’s head to pop back in.

“Oh, uh, (F/N)?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I...” He cleared his throat loudly and shyly smiled. “I love you too.”

bonus: your discharge from the infirmary prompted a day of celebration in the blue lions house, with byleth cancelling lectures and training for the day to celebrate your miraculous recovery.

the rest of the lions organized a mini ‘welcome back’ party; the desks that previously held books and other study things now harbored all your favorite dishes on one side and a cluster of gifts on the other.

and when the sun dipped below the horizon, well... let’s just say dimitri made good on his promise from that night onward ;)

[lightisdays2k]

Day 1: Role Reversal

Hi. Burning Phoenix here. So I lack a tumblr but I still wanted to share this. My take on Day 1: Role Reversal

He loved fishing. It was no secret that when he was not working on his duties, he would either be at the arcade, or by a lake with his gear. It was relaxing and enjoyable, no matter what his friends say. There was just something about enjoying a good, clear day while standing by the water’s edge and waiting for the perfect catch to come along. And the power struggle between angler, and the fish.

“Again with the fishing…”

Noctis nearly jumped at the voice and turned to face the culprit. He cleared his throat and regained his composure. “Hey Light... I thought the princess needed her beauty sleep.” He teased.

Princess Éclair ‘Lightning’ Farron gave the dark-haired young man a frown. “You’re the one who enjoys sleep more than a cat does. Makes me wonder how you of all people managed to make it into the Guardian Corps.”

“That hurts my feelings,” Noctis pouted, and reeled his line in. “I’m pretty good at my job, and you know it.”

Lightning crossed her arms. “Right. The guy who enjoys rushing off to grab his gear whenever he sees a body of water that’s deeper than a swimming pool, spends his gil on arcade machines, can’t keep his own apartment clean, and sleeps the day away.”

“You know you love me anyway,” He teased with a boyish grin.

Although Lightning would never say it out loud, she could admit that she did find him decently attractive. She did have eyes after all. But far be it from her to just babble like a school girl with a crush. She already had Fang for that, who enjoyed catching the eye of both men and women alike.

“Don’t push it, Noct.” Lightning sighed and moved to stand beside him.

He grinned and cast his line again, hoping for better luck. Especially now that Lightning was beside him. He enjoyed her company; she may have been stern and sharp-tongued. By-the-book and no-nonsense, but he had seen the other side to her shine through despite all that. Though he had to admit they did not really have the best first impressions of each other. Especially after she had learned he was one of the Guardian Corps, and bodyguard assigned to her.

Lightning had protested, stating she already had her retainers in Oerba Yun Fang, Oerba Dia Vanille, and her own sister, Princess Serah Farron.

As the older and protective sibling, Lightning had strongly protested against her younger sister acting as guard and retainer. But the Farron bloodline was a stubborn lot, and Serah argued against the firstborn heir until Lightning had to eventually give in. Somehow.

“Why don’t you try it? We’re here in the Sunleth Waterscape, the place is all…uh…’naturey’, and the water’s clear. Perfect for fishing.” Noctis said and offered her the fishing rod.

“You’ve been spending too much time around Vanille, I see.” Lightning raised an eyebrow, but accepted the offered fishing pole and took Noctis’ place as he stood back to let her do the fishing herself.

The guardian chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well…better than hanging around Fang too much.”

Unable to help it, Lightning let out a chuckle. “Yeah. I think we can all agree to that. She’s a bad influence enough already.”

Noctis blushed, knowing what his charge was referring to. He waved her off defensively. “Those magazines weren’t mine! Fang shoved them into my hands…!”

“I didn’t say they were,” The princess said calmly, never taking her eyes off the line and the lure bobbing in the water. “Before you came along, she dumped the same crap on me back then.”

Noctis stared at her and blinked. Had he heard that right? “She…did?”

Lightning nodded. “She did. I once punched someone who was…let’s just say, coming on too strongly, and Fang decided I probably didn’t realize how flirting and sexual intercourse worked so she tried giving me erotic magazines, then started giving me graphic details of how to please someone’s genitals and other body parts, as a way to ‘educate’ me about the birds and the bees.”

The guardian snorted. “The stone-cold princess…keeping erotic material and listening to details of how sex works?”

Lightning nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

“Great… Damn it, Fang.” Noctis muttered.

“Don’t let it get to you. She’s always been wild and shameless. Be glad it wasn’t condoms from her secret stash that she threw at you.” The lure was suddenly pulled under and Lightning began reeling in her catch, her arms tensing as she began her struggle.

Somehow, Noctis was too distracted by the idea of Lightning owning dirty magazines and the fact Fang had a stash of condoms—for Etro knows whatever reason and activities she gets up to—to even react to the fact the princess was reeling in a seemingly big catch. He shook his head from any unsavoury thoughts.

Lightning was a grown woman; it was none of his business what she did in her spare time. Not that any of it mattered to him. It was just his instinct as her personal guard to think on it, he reasoned to himself. He was just thinking cautiously, that was all. At least, that was what he believed.

The sound of splashing finally snapped him out of his daze and he looked over to see Lightning pulling something in, close to the shore. She dug her heels in as the fish began to fight even harder. She looked so focused that Noctis dared not interfere, though he was tempted to.

When the catch finally made it to the shallows, Noctis stepped out into the water to help with pulling it as the fight left the creature.

It wasn’t a giant, but it was an impressive catch nonetheless. Once it flopped onto dry land, Lightning exhaled and lowered her arms. It had been quite the workout, but nothing she wasn’t used to. She looked over at Noctis who was grinning at the prize.

“This is awesome! It’s pretty big one too. Good one, Light!” He sounded very eager and excited as he pulled it over to her. His eyes sparkled with joy at seeing such a great catch. Fishing really was such a passion for him…

Lightning turned her head away as she handed him the rod. “Yeah well…thanks for letting me try it out.” She knew how protective and clingy he was over his fishing gear.

“I bet Serah will have a blast in cooking this!” Still happy with Lightning’s results, Noctis turned to his charge.

Lightning shrugged. “I’m sure. After all, there’s no way Serah would allow Fang near the cookery.”

Noctis laughed. “Well her behemoth ribs are pretty good. I guess it’s her homemade barbeque sauce. Even if it’s the only thing she can cook up.”

“Oh really? Then I guess there’s no need for me to cook up extra of my behemoth steak. Then again, it means more for me,” Lightning mused to herself.

At the remark, Noctis’ eyes widened. “That doesn’t mean I don’t like your steaks! They’re great, really! Please don’t take away my steak privileges…”

It was one of his secret little pleasures, tasting Lightning’s cooking. Or rather, her steaks. Like Fang, it was all she knew how to cook, but it was rare for Lightning to even bother with the cooking since Serah was the better chef between them.

Lightning pretended to think about it. “I don’t know…”

“Please?” He gave her the best puppy eyes he could muster.

“Fine. On one condition though…” Lightning faced him, crossing her arms.

Noctis smiled hopefully and stared at her. “Sure. Anything.”

The princess gave him a look. “Eat your vegetables.”

Now that was a deal-breaker. Noctis hated vegetables; they were evil in his eyes, terrible things that should never be put in anyone’s plate, let alone mouth.

“Anything except that.” Noctis huffed.

Lightning shrugged and turned away. “In that case, I’ll head back to camp. You can bring the seafood back.”

Noctis pouted at her retreating back. Lightning always did like playing hard-to-get. Stubborn Farron; it was in the blood. Serah could be the same as well, but Lightning was like a stubborn cat. Good thing he liked cats.

He hastily picked up the fish and grunted as he felt its weight. Thankfully it was not too heavy, but it still had an impressive bulk. Once got a hold of the catch, Noctis went after Lightning.

The princess paused and looked over her shoulder, letting her bodyguard catch up. She had to internally admit, she was rather fond of him. He was endearing at times, despite how much of a lazy bum he could be. He was indeed a skilled fighter, even able to match Lightning herself.

Not that she would ever admit that to him out loud. She did not need him growing a big head; his hair did enough of that already.

When they reached camp, Fang and Vanille were up and about, while Serah was just leaving her tent.

“Good morning, lovebirds!” Vanille waved in greeting.

Fang smirked when she saw the two walking back. “Hey you two! Where’d ya sneak off to? Went and got busy?”

“Shut it,” Lightning snapped and went to greet her sister.

Noctis groaned at Fang’s words and dumped the would-be meal down on the table set up beside the tents. It made a big thump as it made contact with the surface.

Serah made her way over to inspect the catch. “Wow, now that’s something. Good job, Noctis.”

“Actually…your sister caught it.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

The youngest princess turned to her sibling and smirked teasingly. “Did she now? Well, I’m glad you managed to find time to enjoy some recreational fishing, Sis. Especially with Noctis around to teach you.”

“Don’t push it, Serah. There’s only so far your sister privileges can take you,” Lightning warned with a frown.

Serah grinned and pushed Noctis towards Lightning. “I’ll get to work on making us a meal. In the meantime, you two play nice, okay?”

“Ohohoho! Rose Junior’s got ya there! Don’t be shy, Light. It’s normal to give in to one’s feral needs.” Fang winked at the two.

Vanille nudged her longtime friend. “Don’t tease, Fang. Let them have their moment.”

After the redhead pulled Fang away, leaving Lightning and Noctis with some breathing room. Of course Serah kept her head down, keeping herself busy with cleaning and cutting up the fish for the day’s large breakfast. However, that did not stop a grin from forming.

Lightning pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m surrounded by…”

“Uh…yeah.” Noctis sighed. “Well except for your sister.”

Lightning shook her head. “She’s lucky I care about her so damn much.”

“Well, I care too. She is the other princess and all.”

An awkward silence followed the two. But thankfully, none of their companions decided to say a word. For now.

Noctis could not help but steal a glance or two at the princess. It still boggled his mind that a princess preferred to be referred to as ‘Lightning’. Despite the fact she did have a proper birth name, this moniker she took up was the name she preferred over the one she had been given. Strange, and yet it did suit her. She moved like her namesake and she even acted like it.

She had the grace and elegance of a wild cat and though she lacked the proper manners of a lady, that same fierce grace allowed her to seemingly get away with it.

But if anybody was even less of a lady, it was Fang. She was the definitive definition of a ‘wild woman’. Shameless and just full of teasing comments. Ever since figuring out Noctis’ infatuation with the eldest princess, Fang could never resist poking fun at the dark-haired guardian. Even Lightning was not safe from the relentless teasing. Only Vanille was their saving grace, but even she seemed to have caught wind of the hidden affections and enjoyed having her chance at a little tease or two.

Sometimes Lightning wondered how any of her companions, with the exception of Serah, managed to even reach the titles and ranks they had achieved. But it did prove despite their…sometimes childish tendencies, they were not ones to be trifled with.

“So…” Noctis began but trailed off awkwardly.

“So…?” Lightning raised an eyebrow at him.

Serah rolled her eyes at the sad display. She was well aware of her sister’s fondness for Noctis, but being the eldest Farron heir, and a Farron in general, Lightning was ever-so stubborn about it. She could openly feel like a regular woman and not someone of royal blood, thanks to the dark-haired bodyguard of hers, and she was able to enjoy the company of someone she could trust and treat her well as a person. Despite the growing affections, it seems even Lightning herself was either unaware of them, or she merely tried to push it to the back of her mind.

However, Serah could say the same about Noctis. The man clearly had a crush on her sister and Lightning was well aware of it. Noctis may be what one would typically describe as the dark and handsome type, though he acted anything but. He was sweet and shy and was an everyday man. Despite his duties as the personal guard of the princesses of Bodhum, Noctis enjoyed the simple pleasures life had to offer. He could make friends easily if he wanted to and he was capable of being serious when the situation called for it. And yet he was unable to properly confront Lightning with his affections without stumbling like a schoolboy.

Serah added the finishing touches to her seafood dish and decided that the two lovebirds had enough embarrassment for the day. For now.

“Alright, everyone! Time to eat!” The youngest princess announced.

Lightning and Noctis glanced over at her before exchanging looks at each other. They’ll get a chance to talk. Later.

The princesses and their entourage then found themselves at the center of their campsite, enjoying Serah’s home cooking away from home. They still had many miles and days before they reached Eden, but the journey itself was definitely going to be a memorable one.

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.8

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

You find your sleep to be restless, despite the better sleeping conditions this time. 

Having no idea what time it is, you blink open your heavy eyelids to come face to face with a sleeping Spinel. She’s barely three inches from your face, and when you scoot back to give yourself some much needed breathing room, your back hits the wall immediately. Ah. Somehow she’s cornered you in her sleep. You lay there for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to move to get up and go to the bathroom without waking her.

You can’t really get out from the area above your head since you’re in the corner, but if you move downwards, you have to move all of Spinel’s limbs which are very much all up in your personal space, risking waking her. And you don’t want to do that, since she obviously needs to rest.

It’s during these few moments you’re wondering what to do when Spinel mumbles something unintelligible in her sleep (that almost.. sounds like your name), and her hand shoots out to grasp the middle of the front of the shirt you’re wearing. 

What the hell. Of course she makes this difficult for you even when she’s unconscious.

Very slowly you move your hand to grab her wrist, barely able to pry her fingers from the piece of clothing without making much of a commotion. As soon as you set her hand back down, she grabs your hand with hers instead, pulling your whole arm closer to her. Okay seriously? You look back up to her face and she’s still passed out cold, tarps pressed into the side of her face, mouth slightly open.

With your other arm you reach down to pry her hand out of yours, finding it increasingly difficult to not curse out loud at her for this. Her grip is a little tighter this time, of course, and you roll your eyes at the entirety of this situation at this point. You tug on her fingers once, twice, and in a split second she grabs you with both of her arms, winding hers around your torso as she slams you into her chest, face first. You let out an “oomph” as she throws her leg over yours.

You can’t breathe so you move your face over to the side, cheek almost painfully pressed into her gem. Hearing her breathe next to your ear, your whole body feels like it’s on fire right now for some reason, but mainly, your bladder is yelling at you. You clear your throat in annoyance.

“Spinel.” You say out loud.

Nothing.

“Spinel.” You move yourself enough to jostle her. 

“Mm.” She grunts in response.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” You can see her face twitch in tired irritation, but she still hasn’t opened her eyes.

“Then go to the bathroom. Why are you telling me.” 

“I don’t know, why don’t you see for yourself.” You say, humorlessly.

Her eyes shoot open and find yours immediately. It takes her approximately 5 whole seconds, and one slow blink of your face pressed against her gem for her to realize what she’s doing.

She squawks like you just pinched her arm and quickly removes all of her limbs from your body, scrambling backwards from you. She takes the entire tarp with her, leaving you feeling a bit exposed in the cold air.

“Sorry, I-I wasn’t trying to.. I didn’t mean to..” she trails off, and you can see her face light up like a tomato. It’s almost strangely endearing, if it wasn’t so hilarious.

“Keep that up, and you’ll end up strangling me in your sleep.” You say amusedly, standing up and stretching your arms. Spinel’s still in her pile, presumably still reeling from her earlier position.

“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t ya’ think?”

“The more I tried to get away, the tighter you squeezed me against your gem. I really thought I was gonna break some bones there.” You pat down your clothes, clouds of dust falling off of them and into the air around you. “Anyway I’ll be back. I’m gonna grab some food while I’m out there, and then I’m gonna explore the rest of the Spire above us to see if there’s anything we could use.”

“Sounds like a plan. I was gonna check on the computer to see if anything improved overnight on the corrupted data. Kinda hoping we’d get some planet insight today.” She moves to get up, and you head out of the Spire.

It’s hot as usual outside, and you make quick work of relieving yourself before you forage around for some food. Now that you’ve got a lot to do ahead of you, you find yourself looking forward to keeping yourself busy. It’ll give you time to mull over what happened last night.

It doesn’t take you long to find some food, and once you grab enough to fill both arms, you head back to the Spire. With a whoosh of the doors closing behind you, you see Spinel hunkered down at the console as you set down your food on the nearest empty surface. You walk over to her, and she’s clearly absorbed in reading something on the screen.

“What are you reading?” You ask her, curious.

“The datalogs of the colony’s progress during their time here. Most of it is still corrupted, but the backup should be done pretty soon and by then hopefully most of it should be readable.”

“What have you got so far?”

“Boring stuff, mainly. They did mention that the soil was very rich in something here, though.” She replies, eyes moving back and forth upon the screen.

“That is terribly boring, you weren’t lying.” You shrug in her general direction. “I’ll be heading upwards anyway, so if you end up finding something actually interesting, holler at me.”

She simply nods her head in response, eyes lingering on you a bit longer than necessary.

You head up the staircase in the back, making the immediate mistake of trailing your fingers along the railing. Your hand comes back black with dust, and you have to hold back a gag while shaking it off. It basically sticks to your skin. 

When you get up to the second floor you feel the air change a little, and it smells mustier. You figure it’ll probably be worse the higher you go, if there’s no area inside exposed to outside air. There’s just.. a bunch of stone statues in this room. You walk over to a large group of them, footsteps loud in this empty, quiet room. The statues are of course, caked with dust, like everything else in this place. You can make out a couple gems, but.. these are so old that you have no idea if they were supposed to be important figures or not. Not that it would have mattered to you. 

There’s a lone statue covered by a tarp in the corner, and you walk over to it with curiosity. You grab the hem of the tarp, and pull it away from the statue to reveal.. A cloud of dust. You cough several times, and when the dust clears enough, you can see a figure. You realize that this statue is just unfinished, and there’s no face. It’s actually a little creepy, so you put the tarp back on it. That can stay under there. Looking around the room once more, you don’t really see anything else that stands out. So you meander your way back over to the staircase, and go up another flight.

When you get to the third floor, you trip on the final stair, and catch yourself on the several crates in front of you. A loud crash resounds around the room as the one from the top of the stack falls off and breaks open, wood splinters going everywhere. When you finally manage to right yourself, you bend down to inspect what spilled out of the broken crate.

Moving several large pieces of broken wood aside, you see several identical medium-sized objects in some type of packing filler. You pick one up - it’s cold to the touch, so it’s some type of metal. Turning it around in your hands slowly.. it seems like a part of a machine. To what kind of machine, exactly, is the question though.

You check the other crates - they’re just filled with more of the same type of objects, and lots of it. There’s probably near 40 crates in this room, and you haven’t even checked them all. You figure you’ll come back up here with Spinel later sometime, hopefully she knows if you can find a use out of any of it. 

Walking up another flight of stairs, you find the next three floors to be completely empty. You almost figure there’s probably nothing else up here and are ready to head back down, but you get a gut feeling to keep going regardless.

By the time you get to the seventh floor, your legs feel tired already. Well, specifically your knees. These giant, long staircases and the fucked up gravity really aren’t helping. The air smells a little clearer up here, so you guess that you’re probably near some kind of opening. 

There are more crates and boxes covered in tarp in here. You walk over to the crates to see if it was the same stuff in the lower floors, but once you dig your hand inside, you feel cloth instead. You grab the corner of the wooden lid, prying it off the top. There are bundles upon bundles of soft white cloth, as well as some other stuff. You move the cloth over to dig down a little more, and your hand finds another box at the bottom.

You lift the box out of the crate, peering at the contents inside once you take off the lid. There’s.. more cloth, an assortment of blades, some string, and a needle. This kind of looks like a really, really crude first aid kit. What the hell? Why would gems have something like this? They aren’t flesh, they don’t need something like this. You put the box back in the crate, and figure you’ll just ask Spinel about this later as well.

The rest of the boxes contain some dusty, archaic looking technology, some written manuals in gem, and some hand tools. Some of those tools could come in handy actually. You’ll grab some on the way back down, you think to yourself.

The next floor is filled with the same type of supplies. Honestly you’re not gonna lie, you were kind of hoping there’d be some better stuff in here. You’re doing your best in not freaking out, as you rightfully could do. It’s been what, a bit over two weeks? You’re starting to lose track of time here, and it’s making you anxious.

You move up to the next floor before you let your thoughts go wild, and you can hear wind quite clearly. When you reach the top of the staircase this time, your eyes roam over to the opposite wall. There’s about an eight foot large gap in the exterior where age and decay got the best of this wall, and you can see outside. The staircase that continues upwards has crumbled to pieces, making the rest of the Spire inaccessible to you. 

Walking into the middle of the room where the sun rays from outside can hit your feet, you pause for a moment to let the wind graze your skin, giving you slight goosebumps. You should probably rest here for a moment, before heading back down. You walk over to the edge and take a seat, letting the breeze make its way through your hair. With the giant red sun high overhead hitting you with its warmth, you feel like you could probably take a nap here. You raise your knee up, winding one arm around it, and resting your chin on the top.

It’s.. strangely peaceful right here. You can see the jungle for miles up this high. Sometimes, you’ll get a glimpse of something that makes you think you’re back home on Earth, and you’ll get these really intense feelings of homesickness. You squash down those feelings right now, and watch the edges of the horizon.

You’ve probably been up here, away from Spinel for nearly two hours, now that you think about it. And she hasn’t come up here to bother you, or check up on you. You’re guessing she hasn’t found anything interesting so far.

Speaking of Spinel.. you kick your one leg over the edge, stretching it out. You wonder how she’s doing. Not like how she’s feeling right now, per say, but.. in general. You can’t really imagine what’s been going on inside her head this entire time, now knowing what she’s been through. 

Fucking Pink Diamond. Of course she’d do that. Honestly, you’re kind of glad Steven doesn’t know yet, and wasn’t present for that conversation. As much as you miss him and don’t want to be here, you’re grateful that the teen didn’t have to hear yet another fucked up thing his mother has done to someone. He’s already stressed over how much his mom made everything worse for him anyway. He has enough on his plate.

You wonder how the others are doing. You hope that they’re all okay, and that they are somehow finding a way to get you. Did Steven ever get that beacon signal? Did the gems get your SOS yet? Wondering about these things is starting to eat you alive with worry. What if they wiped this planet off all star maps and they can’t find you? Will you be stuck here, forever, with Spinel? The thought sets your heart racing, and you place an open palm upon your chest.

Calm down. You’ll be fine. Don’t think about the ‘what ifs’.

You’re a bit lost in thought, keeping yourself from spiraling further into some kind of anxiety attack, when you hear footsteps coming up the stairs behind you. 

“Wow, took me a while to get to ya’.” Spinel says, hand trailing along the wall, looking around the room curiously. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so high up.”

Her eyes eventually stop on you, and she pauses, watching you for a moment. Her gaze lingers on you for a while, before she walks over to you and sits down, mirroring your body position along the edge.

“Yeah, I wasn’t thinking there would be much up here. I was mainly curious so I kept going.” You reply eventually. The sun is making you sleepy, and you find yourself wanting to lay down. “Did you find anything within the datalogs?”

“No, I actually came up here due to boredom. The system restore is taking much, much longer than I originally thought.”

“Give the tech a break, it hasn’t been used in.. who knows how long.” 

“I mean, you’re right. I’m just a little frustrated.” She says, and lets out a long breath. Her eyes are looking out into the distance, observing the jungle expanse beyond you.

“Did you just say I was right?” You smirk. “I knew you’d see the light eventually.” She gives you a dumbfounded look.

“I didn’t.. Okay, I’m never saying that again.” She replies, and you find yourself laughing at that. 

She looks a little surprised at your laughter, and her gaze lingers on your face for far too long. 

“I think this is the first time I’ve heard you laugh.” She says to you while shaking her head a bit, and tears her eyes away from you to look off into the distance again.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve laughed before.” You reply, and you look over to her. It’s like she’s not looking at you on purpose for some reason. 

Your eyes catch on the little hairs at the edge of her hairline by the back of her neck, wavering in the breeze. Her pigtails swaying slightly in the wind, shoulders relaxed with her hands by her side, she looks.. peaceful. It makes you feel something, but you’re not quite sure what yet.

“Maybe, but never in my presence.“ 

"You kind of have to actually be funny for me to laugh, you know.” You reply, and she whips her face back to you, expression that of a gaping fish.

“WHAT!? I’m funny! How could you!” She cries out, her tone defensive.

“Yeah? What’s your best joke? Lay it on me, I’ll be the judge of that.” You switch the knee you’re leaning on, and face Spinel.

She opens her mouth to say something, and then closes it again. 

“Right now?” She asks.

“Yes.”

“I can’t just tell a joke, I gotta prepare for it. The delivery matters.” She raises an eyebrow at you, and pushes some of the fringe out of her face.

“No it doesn’t.” You stare at her, and she narrows her eyes like she’s challenging you. “Hold on.”

You clear your throat, and she looks at you expectantly.

“How does a universe throw a party?” You ask, and wait to see if she’ll answer with something. Her eyes look away momentarily in thought, and then she just shrugs.

“They plan-et!” You force out and hold back a chuckle. You hate this joke, but Steven absolutely loves it because of the face you always make with the last word. And it was the only one you could think of.

Spinel is just staring at you, and after a few seconds you see the corner of her mouth twitch, and she blinks several times in succession. She lets out a small “pffft” before covering her mouth with her hand.

“Did you just laugh a lit-”

“No.” She cuts you off quickly. “That was terrible, by the way.”

“Yes I know it’s an awful joke, but you totally just laughed a little. I heard it. Proves that I’m funny, er, funnier than you at least." 

"That did not prove anything!” She furrows her eyebrows in offense. “Other than me not being able to come up with a joke on the spot.”

“Sad clown you are." 

She sputters and laughs a little, enough for her shoulders to shake.

"I’m not a clown you ass! God, are all humans like this?" 

"I like to think that most of us are.” You say with a grin.

You both settle into a silence, and this time, it’s kind of.. easy. You let the sun and wind caress your face for several long minutes, feeling relaxed for once. You don’t really wanna walk all the way back down at all right now. Your legs still kinda hurt.

“Can I ask you something?” You hear her say, and you turn to look at her. 

“Yeah?”

“What were you doing before all of this?”

“You mean before you kidnapped me?” You reply, and she looks a bit sheepish at that. “Why are you asking?" 

"I was just curious, and also I might’ve just realized that technically I don’t actually know a lot about you, despite you knowing basically everything about me.”

“Well, um,” You pause for a moment to gather your thoughts. She’s right. “I was really just helping Steven with everything surrounding Little Homeworld.” “Little.. Homeworld?” She asks, perplexed. “On Earth?”

“Oh, right. You don’t know. You said you saw Steven’s broadcast, yeah?” She nods. “After he got the Diamonds to stop their tyranny, he wanted to try helping the gems who wanted to learn basic skills that were different from what they’re used to. So they can like, have an easier time transitioning to daily life on Earth and stuff. That’s Little Homeworld.”

“So much has happened and I wasn’t there to see any of it.” She contemplates. “I don’t really know how to take all of the changes.” “If it makes you feel any better at all, the majority of this happened in the last three years.”

“It doesn’t, but.. wait the last three years!? That’s absurd.” She raises her eyebrows in confusion. “No one has ever challenged the Diamonds like that before with any results.”

“Well, when you’re your own mother, things kinda end up different.” You kick your leg out, watching it swing in the breeze.

“I’m gonna need you to explain that a little better, because it doesn’t make any sense to me.” She stares at you, furrowing her eyebrows. “How did Pink Diamond disappear?”

“Er,” You cough into your hand, unsure how to explain this properly. “So, I’m gonna try to keep this short since it’s a long story. It didn’t start with Steven.” 

“Huh?” She seems pretty engaged now.

“Yeah, it was Pink herself. Once she got her colony on Earth, she realized that there were organic beings here and she no longer wanted to harm it. That didn’t go over well with the other Diamonds at all, as you can imagine. So.. she staged a rebellion to save the planet after faking her own shattering.”

“What?” She says, disbelief written all over her face. “There was a rebellion!? How much did I miss?” 

“You said you were waiting for her for what, six thousand years? The rebellion actually happened a few hundred years after she initially left you, I think. Because that was over five thousand years ago.” 

She stares at you, blinking. You know it’s a lot to take in.

“Anyway, she disguised herself as a Rose quartz, the leader of the Crystal Gems against the  rebellion. The one who shattered a Diamond. War lasts a thousand years, but the Earth wins. After that, she stays on Earth with the Crystal Gems for a couple thousand years while the Diamonds continue their tirade across the rest of the universe.”

“Okay, but where does Steven come in?” She asks.

“I’m getting to that, I told you it’s a long story.” You roll your eyes at her. “She met Greg around twenty five years ago, and decided she wanted to have a kid with him.”

“Who’s Greg?”

“A human.” 

“She.. had a kid with a human.” The look of utter confusion on her face is absolutely hilarious. “How.”

“You know how organic beings reproduce right?” You ask her with a slight smirk.

“Yes, I know how mating works for biological beings. I just didn’t know that it was possible.. for a gem and a human..” You watch her trail off a bit, color rising in her cheeks.

“Well, there was a catch, kinda. Gems don’t reproduce the same way humans do, so.. she shapeshifted herself a womb I’m guessing, and when it was time for him to be born she gave up her physical form.”

“She didn’t.. die?” She asks, squinting her eyes. The sun casts long shadows against the floor. 

“No, it wasn’t a death really. That’s why it was so hard for the rest of the gems to adjust to Pink being gone. Steven has her powers, so everyone assumed that he was just Pink Diamond. It caused.. so many problems.” You sigh, and blow some hair out of your face. The wind makes your fringe tickle your nose annoyingly. “Anyway, he fought a lot of gems to get this far, but eventually he got the Diamonds to understand him. So.. now there’s no more colonizing, no more planet destroying, no more forced labor. Gems are free to do whatever they want now. That’s what Steven managed to accomplish all by showing some giant space tyrants how to love themselves and others properly.”

Spinel stares at your face for a long moment, deep in thought.

“I.. really regret the way I reacted to everything after learning the truth. Anger fueled me so much that I..“ She breaks eye contact with you. “I am sorry for trying to kill Steven. I hope you know.”

You watch her for several seconds, fumbling with her fingers anxiously in her lap.

“I know.” You speak up. “There’s nothing you can do about it now, but I forgive you. If that means anything.” 

She looks up and her eyes meet yours, relieved expression on her face, and there are some unspoken words that pass between you two. 

“Oh,” She speaks up. “That explains what went on this entire time, but not about you.” “Right, back to that.” You clear your throat, pushing away any weird feelings. “I never had a good relationship with my biological family, so I started basically living with the Crystal Gems a few months after becoming Steven’s babysitter. And from there on, I was honestly just his bodyguard. Kid has been close to encountering death too many times to count for my liking.”

“..how old are you?” She asks you apprehensively. 

“22..” You squint your eyes at her. “Why?”

“I would’ve felt even worse about taking you if you were much younger than that. I can never tell with organics.” She sheepishly rubs the back of her head.

“How old are you?” 

“Wayyy older than you.” She answers with a shrug. “Hard to keep count.”

“That’s.. fair.” You reply, leaning most of your weight on your knee. You watch the jungle in the distance, feeling your stomach ache in hunger. “Should probably head back down soon, even if I’d rather jump down to be honest. My knees are killing me.”

“You’d die.” She glares at you disdainfully.

“Eh, I’d be fine.” You reply in jest, and chuckle. “I’d walk it off.”

“You wouldn’t even have legs.” She lifts herself off the ground from her sitting position, mindful of the edge she’s near. The drop below is quite a distance. “Let alone the ability to walk.”

She turns to you and offers you a hand, almost shy in its nature. You look at her for a moment, watching the facets of her gem sparkle in the sunlight, twintails gently swaying in the breeze. You reach out and grasp her hand, and she looks almost surprised that you’ve taken it. You brush yourself off once you lift yourself off the stone ground, wobbling slightly on your legs.

“I’m sure I’d be fine. Pretty sure I’m invincible.” You cock an eyebrow at her, and turn to head down the stairs. 

By the time it takes you to walk over to the top of the staircase, you realize Spinel isn’t next to you. You turn around to see that she’s still standing in the same position near the edge, hand still out slightly, and staring at you with a strange expression.

“Uh.. you coming?” You ask her. She shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts.

“Yeah. Sorry. Just lost in thought for a moment there.” She says as she catches up to you, and you both take the stairs together.

You both chat about nothing in particular on your way back down, and you find the time passing fairly quickly. Quickly enough to get back down to the base level before you realize that you were going to ask her about the parts in the crates a few floors up.

“Oh shoot, I actually found some stuff up there earlier I was going to ask you about actually. You managed to distract me enough on the way back down that I forgot about it.” You turn to face her.

“Not my fault. I ain’t a mind reader.” She raises an eyebrow at you, walking back over to the console immediately. “We can go back up later sometime. It’s not as if this place is goin’ anywhere.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m just tired I guess.” You walk over to the food that you had set down earlier, picking up a piece of fruit and bringing it up to your face to take a bite. “Did it finish doing it’s restoration yet?”

“Yeah actually. I’m loading the files right now.” 

You watch her eyes flit back and forth over the screen in concentration. It looks like she’s reading whatever text is on the screen. You take a bite of the fruit, chewing it slowly, watching Spinel’s face as she flips through whatever data logs she’s looking at. Maybe you should’ve let Pearl actually teach you the gem language back when she offered to a couple years ago. Back then, you thought you’d never have use for it, but.. hindsight’s a bitch. Can’t do anything about it now.

Spinel’s eyebrows furrow a bit further as she narrows her eyes at the screen in front of her. After a few seconds, she looks up and catches your gaze.

“Ya’ might wanna see this.”

[one-leaf-grimoire]

“TRIAD” chapter 1 and 2

I included the first chapter below and chapter 2 is on ao3.

Summary: Julius Novachrono, the 28th Wizard King of the Clover Kingdom, is dead. But the chaos that ensues is not the only thing he leaves behind. In order to preserve his legacy, a new widow prepares to claw her way to the top, despite the huge obstacles in her path. Meanwhile, a brand new threat rears its head, and perhaps the end is inevitable. This is just the first of many long, lonely nights, but she must embrace it and let go of her past if she is to undo the damage that's been done... even if that means forsaking the one thing that makes her human.

Chapter 1- the swallowtail

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...

"You weren't born because I was born. The only reason I was born... was because I was meant to be yours."

How could you say such a thing? You're the greatest man in the world, yet you were mine... I didn't deserve you.

"They all need you. You won't be alone, I promise."

Alone... no, Julius. I'll be alone forever.

"Just promise me that you'll be alright?"

...

How is anyone supposed to promise that?

But the sun is setting. If I blink, I'll miss that one last look.

But still...

"I will become the Wizard King!"

If the sun is setting anyway... then I will be the one to look away.

I turn away from him, my robe flaring out, and walk off towards the light, the entire world melting away behind me.

Alone...

But I'm not alone, am I?

Thank you, Julius... for everything.

(two days after the attack)

The silence of this forest is comforting, yet so heavy. Well, maybe it's not the silence. The real thing weighing me down is the events of the past few days, the long nights without sleep, and the massive operation ahead of us. Many parts of the Kingdom were destroyed, lives were lost, and now the survivors feel nothing but fear. 

Ever since I woke up from my possession by a vengeful elf, I've worked tirelessly. Since so many magic knights seemingly turned against us, leaving the others scared and reluctant to act, it wasn't easy reigning them in and making them start the important clean up process. But somehow, they moved, and now piles of rubble have started to be cleared. Even a little progress is still progress, and there's been enough of it that I feel okay leaving the capitol for a short detour. There's something out in this woods that I need to retrieve.

I keep walking between the trees, looking around and scanning the area for signs of mana, a familiar mana. I should be able to sense it soon... if the magic actually stayed inside. It ended up not working, so maybe it accidentally just released his magic into the environment-

I halt, as a sensation hits me.

...never mind. There it is.

Nestled there among the trees, covered with vines, moss, and dirt, but still intact, is a strange magical device. It's large, taller than I am, shaped like a ball with a few divots in it. But it's most striking feature is that it's practically humming with strong magic, resonating as it's stored inside. I finally slow to a stop, staring at the object blankly, having achieved my objective.

This is it. The Swallowtail.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person Julius told about the Swallowtail. It's an ancient device used to store mana, and it can be released by force or when a certain condition is met. Julius's magic mark on his forehead would dissolve upon his death, signalling the time he stored to be released. However, something must have gone wrong, because the magic is still inside.

And Julius... is dead.

When I raise my hand to touch the metal surface, laced with years's worth of moss, I realize how much my fingers are trembling. 

Julius... you feel so close. This magic is so warm...

My cheeks suddenly feel a spike of coolness. There are tears, now, tears that I've repressed for two days.

Please...

My hand splays over the surface. I can feel the time, 13 years worth, he said, living inside. Time that could have saved his life, but somehow refused to. But now, it would have a new purpose. I'm the only other person who can use this magic, so I'll take it.

Give me the strength to fulfill my promise. Give me the strength to face the future without you.

The mana starts to seep into me, causing my whole body to glow. I squeeze my eyes shut, more tears streaking down my face as the magic envelops me like a warm hug, seeping into my very soul, and combining with the magic I already have within me. I will always carry a shard of Julius's soul within me, but it's not the same as holding his hand, or listening to his voice, or just being held by him.

It makes more sense to me now... why I loved you so much.

You made me human, right? Even when I didn't feel like it.

So, give me the strength to keep being human.

Finally, the glow subsides, leaving just an empty, useless Swallowtail behind. With a sigh, I let my hand slide off of it as I step back. 

Thirteen years of time... I hold my hands up to look at them, wiggling my fingers slightly. There's a lot I can do with that... hopefully this will continue to come in handy.

Before I start my journey home, I sit down next to the Swallowtail and pull out my lunch, a single sandwich. While I eat, my mind wanders to the monumental task ahead of me, but also to the past that's brought me here.

It was about 8 years ago when I first met Julius. He happened to be passing my town while we were attacked by the Diamond Kingdom, an attack that left my father dead. I didn't know it back then, but my father carried a secret with him: He was a fugitive from a destroyed nation, living out his life here in the Clover Kingdom. He was part of a people called "Simulcians," a mysterious race that had the power to channel huge amounts of mana through marks on their body. Mine appeared on that day, allowing me to reach my magical potential at last. The source of that mana was something called a "Dyad," the result of an ancient spell that amplified the mana of two people by combining their magic and consciousness. It's weird, and very scary, but without it, I would have never gotten this far. And in the end, once I was strong enough... it was ecstasy. 

Julius and I... we formed a Dyad of our own. It's almost a sacred thing, the strongest yet most vulnerable a two people can be. Much like love itself... love is a beautiful thing, but now, it does nothing but hurt me.

Because he's gone. Julius will never come back, no matter how much I want him to.

However... there's still three pieces of him left. One is the shard of his soul lodged within mine. That soul is what gave me the ability to use his time magic, and over the years I have managed to make it my own.

And the second...

My hand comes to rest on my stomach, and I manage to smile despite the grief.

Thank god... I don't know what I would do, if I didn't have this baby...

It was against all odds that this new life was possible. After forming a Dyad, my body supposedly shut down all it's reproductive functions. And yet, a miracle occurred. It reminds me of years ago, when I was still a member of the Crimson Lions, when I thought I might be pregnant. Julius was overjoyed at the mere possibility of becoming a father, even if it was unexpected. It was his dream, to have a family with me. He would have been so happy now...

The last piece is the promise I made.

I will become the Wizard King.

I said it in a desperate attempt to get his approval one last time, to see him smile before we parted ways forever. Something to put him at ease before he passed.

But I still made the promise, and I'm going to keep it! I'll become the Wizard King, Julius, no matter how hard it's going to be.

I finally stand up to leave, brushing myself off and looking back at the Swallowtail one last time. 

... If only you had done your job.

Despite the baby inside me and the determination to achieve my goal, I can't shake the feeling of emptiness inside me. I would trade everything just to have Julius back at my side.

But, it's not like that's going to be possible.

So, I turn away, opening my blue grimoire. "Flame magic: Sun God's Leap."

Four pairs of small wings form around my body. I used to just have two pairs, but the elvish mana managed to push this spell further. With a single push, I shoot off the ground, accelerated to a speed near that of sound... just like Julius used to do.

For the time being, I would throw myself into my work, for the sake of this kingdom. But after that...

I'm prepared to do anything it takes to keep my promise.

[skylarmoon71]

Victor Stecker Fanfiction (Burn Notice -Oneshot

When Michael recruited you for this job, you were skeptical. In his situation you knew he didn't have many friends aside from Fiona and Sam that he could truly trust, so him coming to you was what you expected.

"(Y/N) please, we have to help him. " you just shook your head. "Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't he try to kill you?"

"He was getting back at the people that hurt him, it wasn't personal. "

"Right, well good luck. I told you I don't do this anymore. "

"He lost his family (Y/N)"." That made you freeze. "They killed his wife and kid just to recruit him. If that happened to me, if someone hurt the people I cared about, I can't say that I wouldn't consider the same thing. He's just like me (Y/N), please, don't let him die." you gritted your teeth. "It's low to play that move."

He knew all about your past, there's no way you would walk away now. "Fine, but it's gonna cost you. " Michael just wore that stupid grin, and you smiled shaking your head.

"You're such a menace Michael Westen."

"I do what I can."

~~~~~~

So that is what landed you in your current predicament.

"Seems like I got here just in time." shrugging off the scuba gear, Michael watched your soaking wet form in relief. "Happy to see me?" He was laughing softly. "Ecstatic." Victor squinted between the both of you, still holding the his bullet wound. "Not to break your little reunion, but there is a bullet currently lodged in my gut. Doesn't make for the best sitting arrangements."

You just glanced at the wound. "You were right, he is an optimist." kneeling, you opened the pocket on your right. Taking out a pill you gave it to him. "You need to take this, it'll help with the pain. You're gonna need to work up every last bit of your strength to get out of here." Victor shook his head, turning back to Michael. "You know as well as I do that I'm not getting out of this alive. " He was struggling to stay upright.

"I got it handled. There's a bomb under this boat."

"Yeah we know. Carla wanted to leave us a parting gift. Fiona dealt with her but there's still an army out there that wants the both of us dead."

"That may not be such a bad thing. " you spoke, they both gave you a look. " you frowned a little because you were still holding out the pill. "Listen, we can stay here and chat, or I can use my plan and we may just make it to see another Christmas." Michael of course was down for anything. Victor seemed reluctant, but he took the pill, swallowing it with a groan.

"Now put this on." It was an extra oxygen mask.

"Micheal, I need you to fire your weapon, then surrender. You can be the hero. They just lost two operatives, and I don't think they went through all this trouble just to kill you."

"They've got the boat surrounded, how do you suppose we leave." Victor grumbled.

"Same way I got in. Underneath." You smirked, advicing Michael to give you a hand as you lifted Victor off the ground. He grunted, but staggered to his feet. "You don't really expect him to swim in this condition, and he's losing a lot of blood. "

"Don't worry Michael, that little pill doesn't just deal with pain. It's clotting his blood as we speak. We'll have ten minutes before it starts to wear off. If you give me some time I can get the both of us out of here in five. "

"I can do that." He cocked his gun, and you helped Victor put on the mask. With a nod to Michael, you moved to the small entry you'd made to get in. The water had already started to fill up. You pulled the lid you made, and the water started gushing in faster.

"This is our way out." Ushering him down, you watched his head go under the water before pulling on your own mask, following him under. You could see he was struggling slightly, it wasn't easy to swim with a bullet in your body. Taking his shoulders, you tried balancing some of his weight as moved forward. When you got a reasonable distance away, you raised your head slightly out of the water. Victor surfaced with another low grunt.

You smiled from your spot when you saw Michael get into the helicopter. Now that he was out of the way, you could follow through with your plan. You pulled out a detonator, and Victor raised a brow. From the side, the SWAT Team was closed to breaching the boat. "Not today sunshine." With a click, the boat exploded, flames raging high. The few men that were within distance were forced back, and you could feel the blast make a heavy wave in the water, nuding you and Victor further back.

"What's with Michael's women and explosions." Victor muttered. You just smiled. "Come on, at least you can say thanks. As far as they know, Victor Stecker is dead. Cops will be looking into this, and I don't think Management wants anyone poking around. You should be grateful to Carla, her little bomb gave my own an extra boost. "

"I'll remember to thank her in the next life."

"Hopefully that's not soon, let's get out of here." Diving back under, you pulled Victor along, waiting a few minutes before you came out.

****

It took three weeks to help Victor back on his feet. After attending to the bullet wound, you carried him to one of your safe houses. It was a small apartment in Miami. Not many people knew about it, Michael being the exception. Since you were a registered bounty hunter, you had ways of making yourself invincible. In your profession there was always a chance that you'd tick off someone.

Having multiple venues across Miami was a good way to ensure safety. When the residual danger was over, Michael checked in with you to see how Victor was doing. You advised him against visiting. 

Management was still looking into him, and if they discovered that not only he helped Victor escape, but he was still associated with him, it would not have ended well. Victor was surprisingly a very cooperative individual. You'd dealt with a couple spies, the fall out of nearly being killed wasn't a pleasant experience. You thought for sure he'd act all macho and try to do everything on his own. But he accepted your help when he needed it. Even thanked you after every encounter. You were starting to realize he wasn't the psycho Michael assumed at the beginning. You guessed it was really due to his lost family that he fell off the edge.

"So, I have to ask, how did you and Michael meet." you blinked, shifting to get a piece of gauze to apply to his wound. Usually when you were dressing his wounds he told you of some of his missions back when he was a spy, and you'd entertain him by giving some hilarious stories of the bounties you captured. That question though, it was a tough one. You were sort of hoping the topic would never arise. Friendly banter was one thing, but personal issues of the past, that was another.

"Come on, it can't be any worse than my most recent brush with death." When he saw the way your fists tightened on the pair of scissors, the humor left his voice. That pain in your eyes, he knew it way too well. "You too huh." he didn't clarify what he meant, but you didn't even need it.

"Who did you lose?" You were never one to go spilling your guts to people. Especially ones you'd only know for less than a month. Maybe it was the genuine look in his blue eyes. One of understanding and sympathy. Not what you would expect from someone like him. It could also be the fact that you knew he could relate. Whatever it was, it gave you a strange sense of comfort.

"My family. Parents were in the house when the shots went off. Cops said it was a robbery, but I knew better. My dad was a retired spy. A lot of secrets, a lot of enemies." you mumbled. You're head lowered and you snipped the excess gauze of his bandage. "My sister she..she was only two. They didn't have too..she wouldn't have been able to identify them. They could have..could.." A single tear streaked down our cheek, and you pressed the back of your palm to your nose.

With a few labored breaths, you finally wiped at your face, schooling your features back to normal. You were about to get up and leave. It was a bit pathetic in your eyes, letting anyone see you so vulnerable. The palm that pressed to your cheek softly made you tense. Victor was watching you, empathy reflected in his sapphire gaze. 

"I guess we're both just broken and alone then." You inhaled, letting out a shaky breath. You were finding it a bit difficult to say much with him touching you so tenderly. His hand felt so soft, not something you expected with his past. For a split second your eyes slipped to his lips, but you caught yourself, moving back and out of his reach. His eyes lifted, and you just ran a hand over your cheek.

"I-I should get started on Dinner." Just like that you rushed out of there. The minute you were out of sight, your back pressed to the wall, with a heavy sigh, you bit your lip. "Shit." Apparently you'd gotten closer than you initially thought. And it was terrifying.

~~~~

One more week of you playing doctor, and Victor decided it was really time for him to move on. It wasn't like you didn't expect it. He wasn't going to stay with you forever. Still, you got so accustomed to it, to him.

"It's been a wild run, but I should get out of here. I think I've caused you enough trouble." He smiled, and you just giggled. "Please, you're a much better patient than Michael. Don't think I would have lasted a day if it were him I was nursing back to health."

"Mr. Westen does have that charm." With a small smile, you reached over, pulling him into a hug. Somehow you'd found a very unplanned and unlikely friend. "Don't be a stranger, and try not to catch any more bullets in the near future." He held you close, running a hand over your back. "I'll do my best." You both stayed there for a while, neither really wanting to separate. When you finally did, he was still smiling down at you. He leaned in, and you actually blushed when he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"Thank you (Y/N), for everything." When he leaned away, he seemed proud at the obvious flush on your cheeks. Pulling the bag unto his shoulder, he gave your arm a gentle squeeze right before he started heading for the car. You took slow steps, and as he ducked to get into the car, you wanted to say something, maybe convince that he really didn't have to leave. But the guarded side of your brain kicked in, and you closed your mouth, giving him one last smile as he pulled out of your driveway. Gone. Possibly forever.

~~~~~

~Two Years Later~

"Oh Michael, quite a pickle you've gotten us into once again. " he ducked at the next bullet that hit barrels you were hiding behind.

"Could we not discuss this right now!" You smirked. "I think now is the perfect time to discuss this." you raised your own gun, firing a shot at your assailants before moving back behind for shelter. "So how do you suppose we get past those two thugs. I'm almost out of ammo and they're just getting started. "

"I'm thinking."

"Well think faster einstein. Of all the days we could be doing this it just had to be Valentine's day. I have a bottle of wine and junk food waiting at home. "

"You think I planned this, what do you think Fiona's gonna do if I miss our date." You winced. "Your right, she'll rip your arms out."

"You think!!" His yell made the men on the other side laugh. For a second you thought they were gonna move in, but then you heard two other shots, and bodies dropping to the floor. There was a yell and sounds of struggling and you glanced at Michael who just shrugged.

"You both can come out now, I've dealt with the problem." That cheeky voice, it made you raise slowly. You were stunned to see the azure eyes that looked back at you. Your eyes shifted and you could see the two men on the ground tied up, duct tape around their mouths. "Cops will be here in five so I suggest we get a move on."

Michael was already moving from behind the barrels. You could see the small smile that graced his face. "Never thought I'd be so happy to see a guy who tried to kill me." Victor returned the smile, patting his back. "Glad you've found it in your heart to forgive me." You stopped when you were standing in front of him, and when his eyes landed on you, they lit up slightly.

"I..honestly didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"I'm offended, I do owe you after all. Thought I'd finally pay back." For a few moments you just smiled at each other, and Michael's eyes moved between you. "Can we, you know, leave. Not to sure the cops will be looking forward to hearing our side of the story."

"Right, let's go." you all headed for where Victor had parked a car, and in the distance, you could hear the police sirens wailing. As soon as you were all in the car Victor pulled off. "So what brings you to this part of Miami, not trying to kill someone else are you?" Michael questioned. Victor eyes moved to the rear view, and you caught it. "Don't worry I'm not offing anyone. Let's just say I had some unfinished business." you swallowed at the way his gaze penetrated you. You turned your head, looking out the window to try and regain some composure.

~~

Victor had dropped off Michael, and you slid into the passenger seat, buckling your seatbelt. The moment you were next to him, Victor sent a smile your way. "So, where to, still got that place at South beach." You nod at him, trying to keep your face neutral. For some reason you were a little weary.

Victor hadn't completely dropped off the face of the earth. Every few months he'd send a letter, or even call you on a burner cell. That day he'd left, you expected him to cut all ties, but he hadn't. Now he showed up out of nowhere, and you didn't know how to feel. Those repressed feelings from that short time you spent together were quickly resurfacing. You kept your eyes out at the streets, silent as Victor kept his eyes on the road.

"He's just passing through."

He probably had a job or some kind of business here. The last letter he sent he told you he was now working as a bounty hunter, under a different name of course. You should have been glad that you had a somewhat positive impact on his life. At least he was catching criminals instead of killing them.

"Giving me the silent treatment, am I in the dog house." you looked over, and he still had his eyes trained forward. "No I just..I'm surprised." you mutter the last part, tugging at the hem of your shirt. "Would you believe me if I said I missed you." nibbling on your lip, your palm closed over the edge of your shirt. "I missed you too Victor." One of his hands slipped off the wheel, and he took your hand softly, pulling it away from your shirt and linking your fingers. The warmth felt so familiar, even though you'd never even held his hand before. "Still as soft as I remembered." you mused. So for the entire ride back, he never let go, just squeezed your hand comfortingly.

Slipping the key into your door, you stepped in, flicking on the light. Removing the gun from the back of your pants, you grinned when you checked how many bullets were left. "Good thing you showed up when you did, not sure I would have taken them down with just two bullets. " he nods at you, shutting the door as you moved to put away the weapon.

"Michael says I have a knack for showing up at bad times. Guess it paid off." You let out a soft laugh from the other room. When you walked back into the living room you slipped off the t-shirt, revealing a black tank top. That job took out a lot more than you anticipated. You huffed, and when you looked up Victor was just staring at you. For a second you forgot who you were with. You basically just striped in front of him.

Around Michael you never thought twice. He was like your brother. But this wasn't Michael. You tried to play it off, taking a step back with a nervous giggle. "Where's my hospitality, you must be tired from your trip. You can crash here until you've finished your job. I don't mind. Are you thirsty, I got some beer in the fridge."

You draped your shirt at the back of the couch, heading into the kitchen. Maybe the air from the fridge would cool down your body, and rushing thoughts. You could hear Victor's steps behind you, and you grabbed two beers, shutting the fridge and spinning around. "So I got-" you didn't have a chance to finish, because he was a lot closer than you expected. "Woah, scared me." you spoke with a little smile. He took both bottles from your hands, placing them down on the counter before turning back to you.

You felt cornered, trapped. Because you were pressed to the marble surface, and Victor's eyes felt like they were trying to say something.

"I didn't come back for a job (Y/N). I came back because our calls and letters....they weren't enough."

"I-I'm sorry. I tried to send a couple earlier but I'd get so caught up in my gigs and time would just fly by I didn't mean to."

The fact that he was a few inches taller than you didn't really help. He was almost towering. You felt too vulnerable in this situation. You didn't like the lack of control you had. Especially around him. He smiled, entertained that you were apologizing for something you had no control over. It wasn't like you had to respond to him, he was touched that you made the effort.

"That's not what I meant. What I mean is I want more. I've wanted more since that day you told me about your family. " You remembered, how could you forget. The way he looked at you, touched you, it was engraved in your mind. What scared you is the fact that you were feeling so much for a guy you'd never even properly kissed.

You'd saved his life one time, yet you were clinging unto him like he was the one who rescued you, and you were trying to repay some debt. In a crazy way he did save you. That day, you cried, more than you did when you lost your family. After that you felt light, like it was needed. You'd bottle up so much over the years and pretended it didn't exist. If he didn't ask that day, you would probably still be carrying that load.

"Well, you were right, we're both broken and alone." This time when his hand reached out, you thought it would land on your cheek, the same gesture as last time. But his thumb grazed your lips, and you had to hold your breath, because your pulse increased.

"I think I'm done with being that way, don't you agree?" he said it so softly, and when he took his last step forward, he pressed into you, and now you were scared he could hear the way your heart was hammering against your ribcage.

"Victor.." He shuddered at the way you said his name. Laced with emotion. He took his time, bringing his lips closer, and when your hand stopped his advances, he looked down at you. There were tears in your eyes, and he knew exactly why. You were a mirror of him. You'd toughen yourself up to the world. In this case you had to be far younger than he did. You weren't even given the chance to form a family of your own. In a lot of ways he was fortunate for the years he did have with his.

"I can't...I don't want to..." You didn't want to let him get any closer than he already had. Because that was just another opportunity that you could lose it all again. You barely survived the first time. "You're not going to lose me. I didn't come here to join Michael's little crazy bandwagon. I want you to run away with me. Somewhere quiet, no wars, no death. Just two people living regular lives. " His offer made your eyes widened.

Was he serious?

"When I was out there, catching bad guys I..it reminded me of why I started before. Talking with you, as short as it was, it reminded me of a time when I was happy. Truly happy. I want a chance to feel that again, and I want to do it with you. We can make new identities, start fresh. Just follow wherever it takes us. If you realize that it's not worth it and you want to leave, then you can, I won't stop you. But at least try, please try with me (Y/N)." his eyes were pleading. Everything he was saying, you could just imagine it. Being in a small town, no chasing scumbags or battling drug lords. Just a normal, simple life.

"Okay." He blinked, and the genuine surprise in his eyes made you smile. "Why do you look so shocked, you nailed that speech."

"I was kind of bluffing, but I guess it worked. " you scoffed, laughing. "You're lucky you're a smooth talker." he returned your smile, finally closing the distance. That kiss, it was all you anticipated, and so much more. He was so gentle, but passionate. A wonderful mix. With your body pinned to the counter, you pushed yourself up, hooking your legs around his waist as you pulled him in. He groaned, slipping his hand into your hair, slanting his mouth over yours eagerly.

The kiss was long overdue. He couldn't seem to keep his hands off of you, and you were having the same problem. You started unbuttoning his shirt hurriedly, dying to feel his skin. The moment you got it free, you pushed it down his shoulder, running your hands down his firm body. Your hands drifted lower, lips still locked, and when he felt your hands on his buckle, he took both your hands softly, retracting reluctantly.

With heavy breaths, you watched him hungrily, a little annoyed now that he was depriving you of what you wanted. Victor's breathing wasn't that much better. His eyes were still closed, and he pressed his forehead to your shoulder.

"As much as I...want this to progress, I'm thinking maybe I should take you out first." you whined, planting little kisses on his neck to get your point across. His grip on your hands tightened slightly and you smiled. 

"Dinner sounds nice, I'm starving." you cooed, nipping at his ear. He inhaled, releasing your hands, finally opening his eyes. He leaned back to stare at you, and you could see the way his eyes were dilated. You had him right where you wanted him. "You're really not making this easy on me. Here I was trying to be a gentleman. "

"If you really want to be a gentleman then you should take care of your woman properly. Don't you think." With a suggestive look, you slipped off the counter.

"Take care of me Victor." he didn't need to be told twice. This time when he kissed you there was a lot of unfiltered need, and you revelled in it, returning it with just as much. Victor picked you up, and you wrapped your hands around his neck, giving him a loving smile.

This was one of the few times you were grateful for Michael, because that favor he'd enlisted you for, it changed your life. 

And now you had a shot of starting a new one, with someone special.

[ohh-baekhyun]

Nothing Like Us | 01

✨Summary: Rich, charming and undeniably good-looking, Byun Baekhyun is used to women falling on their knees for him. You are the opposite though. Quiet, reserved and indifferent, you are never afraid to put him in his place if you need to. That’s probably why he is quite besotted with you. No woman has ever challenged him the way you do. Thus when he has the chance to spend three weeks under the same roof as you, he makes it his sole mission to win your heart.

✨Genre: Arranged Marriage-ish!AU, romance, fluff, smut in future chapter, 2nd POV.

✨Word count: 4.9k 

The day after your parents signed the divorce papers, your mother took off, bringing your sister along while leaving you behind with your father. You remember crying as you begged her not to leave. Even if she blatantly favors your sister over you, having her in you life is much better than living with a father who doesn’t give a damn about you. Your Dad never wanted kids, thinks they are too much of a burden to bear. That’s probably why as soon as your mother left, he shipped you off as far away as possible and hasn’t had much to do with you ever since.

You were only fifteen back then, and it isn’t easy to adapt to life on your own. There were many nights when you were alone, feeling forlorn, scared and homesick, wishing there’s someone you can call but there is no one.

Not that you haven’t tried forging a relationship with your parents and sister. You did. Very deseparely if you may add. A few times, you tried calling but never once did they pick up. You tried sending letters too, telling them how you were doing, letting them know that you were excelling in school, practically begging them to be proud of you. You thought maybe one day they’d want you back, but it’s been six years and that day never seem to arrive.

Until yesterday.

It felt like a dream when you received a call from your father telling you that he has booked you a flight back home. He didn’t mention anything other than, “Mr and Mrs Byun have invited us for dinner” and you didn’t further question what the dinner is about. You were simply overjoyed to finally see your father again.

“Do you know why you’re here?” Baekhyun asks as he leads you down the stone path in his backyard. The two of you have just excused yourself from the dining room as he wanted to speak to you in private.

You lift your shoulders in a shrug. “Why?”

He stops by a wooden bench, bending forward and running his hands over the surface to brush off the dust. “Here, sit.”

You look at him, hesitating for a moment before eventually taking a seat. “What is this about?”

He settles on the space next to you, turning slightly so he is facing you. “Our parents want us to get married.”

M-married?

You are not sure if you’re hearing him right. For a while, you can only stare at him. Your lips move to try to mutter a word but nothing is coming out. At the end, you manage a small “What?”

“I know,” He says. “That’s a lot to process. Take your time.”

“Take my time?” You chuckle, not because it’s funny but because it’s ludicrous. “I don’t need time to process this. You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna marry you.”

“Say that to our parents. They orchestrated this whole shit.”

You narrow your gaze suspiciously. Somehow you have a feeling that this is one of his stupid pranks. Not that it’s new to you. He does it all the time. Asshole acts like its his job sometimes. Pisses you right off.

“I swear to God if this is one of your–”

Baekhyun lifts a finger up, cutting your speech short. “I know what you’re about to say. But no, it’s not a prank. I’m serious.”

“So you’re telling me you are agreeable with this arrangement?” You ask with raised brows.

“No. But I’m doing this for my father. I’m sure you’ve heard.”

Yes. Your Dad has mentioned about Mr Byun’s deteriorating health condition on the way here from the airport. In fact he is currently overseas undergoing a treatment for his illness. You feel a pang of sympathy for Baekhyun but it does nothing to change your mind.

“I’m sorry about your father, Baekhyun. I truly do. But marrying me isn’t going to cure his sickness.”

“I know that,” He says with a deep sigh. “He just wish to see me settle down before he...you know.”

“Settle down with…me?”

Baekhyun nods. “You know how much my parents adore you. They’ve been playing matchmaker since we were teenagers.”

“But he can’t force you to marry someone against your will. Do you think you can spend the rest of your life being tied to someone you don’t love? You can’t even commit to a relationship.”

He shrugs casually. “I don’t really mind if it’s you I’m marrying.”

You huff, not believing him. “You don’t even like me.”

It is true that you and Baekhyun were childhood friends. The two of you grew up together and he used to be your neighbour. But your personalities with his are like oil and water. Never compatible. Suffice to say, he is the only person who knows how to get under your skin. Not that you hate him, nor is he your enemy. You admit he can be quite likeable sometimes. Especially when he’s not doing, or saying something stupid to annoy you. Which happens once in a blue fucking moon by the way. Sometimes you can’t believe he is twenty-six while you are only twenty. It should be the opposite.

“I never said I don’t like you,” Baekhyun denies. “I do actually. I think you’re…uh–”

“I’m what?” You probe, lifting your brows.

“I think you’ve got nice teeth,” He says.

What? “Teeth?!”

“Yeah. Teeth. They look especially nice when you smile. Which you don’t do often by the way.” 

Is this a joke? You thought as you give him the eye-roll. “Look, you may not be someone who takes matter like marriage seriously, but I do. I can’t sacrifice myself to spending the rest of my life with you just to please your father. And if I ever plan to marry, it would be to someone I love.”

He exhales and nods. “Alright, I respect your decision.”

You rise from the bench and gaze down at him. “Can we get back inside now?”

“Sure.”

When the two of you return to the dining room, the table is cleared and no one is there. You glance at the man next to you who looks as equally confused. He walks out of the dining room and you follow him into the living hall only to find no one there too.

“Where is everyone?” you ask.

“Your father has left.”

That’s Baekhyun’s mother. You bring your head around, watching as she strolls down the staircase.

“Wha-Why?” you ask, feeling uneasy. “Did he say anything?”

“We were discussing about you and thought it’d be great if you could spend three weeks here with Baekhyun and use the time to consider the arrangement.”

Your mouth drops open. “What do you mean?”

“I assume Baekhyun has told you about it, yes?” She looks over at his son.

“Yes, but–” I glance at Baekhyun, silently asking, Are you behind this too? He gives you a clueless shrug.

“Treat it as a trial period,” she continues. “just for you to figure out if you like Baekhyun enough to marry him,” She pauses, smiling as she takes your hand in hers. “You don’t have to feel obligated to say yes, but of course Mr Byun and I would be delighted to have you as our daughter in law.”

There is so much to process here and it is happening all so suddenly. Your mouth opens and closes, fighting to find a word to say but you can’t.

“Oh, and your father also mentioned he’ll be out town for a few weeks,” Mrs Byun adds.

Wait what?

Panic grips your by the heart as you glance from left to right, searching for your purse. You find it sitting on one of the sofas and quickly dash over to grab your phone. There’s a message from your father. You hold your breath and clicks on the notification bar to read what it says.

“Sorry, I have to leave early to catch a flight to China. Mr and Mrs Byun have offered to let you stay at their place for the meantime. Hopefully you can come up with a decision by the end of your stay there. I truly hope you’ll say yes. This is everything I could’ve wished for you. For you to marry someone great, someone with a high stature like Baekhyun. You’ll make me so proud. Plus, Mr Byun has been such a big help to our family. We owe him one.”

The words slowly sink. It’s like your surrounding are spinning and you’re feeling like you are about to faint. You sway a little on your feet, but suddenly Baekhyun is on your side, one arm sliding around your waist to hold you up.

“You okay?” He whispers, peering down at you.

You nod slowly. His face is way too close to yours that you have to look away before he catches you blushing.

“Aww, look at you two, what a perfect match,” his mother praises, clasping her hands together and smiling so dreamily like she’s watching some romance film.

You clear your throat, straightening your back so your body is no longer in contact with Baekhyun. He takes it as a cue to let go, but his eyes remains on you as if he’s afraid you would somehow collapse if he looks away.

“I’m feeling a little worn out from the jetlag,” You say to his mother. “Would you mind me heading up to my room first?”

“Oh dear, of course! You must be so tired.” She looks over at Baekhyun. “Can you show her to her room please?”

“Which one?” He asks.

“Any bedrooms upstairs,” she says and then adds, “Maybe try avoiding the haunted one.”

Your widen eyes volley between Baekhyun and his mother. “H-haunted?”

Baekhyun chuckles, placing his hand on your lower back. “Let’s go,” he says, then he guides you up the stairs.

“What did she mean by haunted?” you ask, glancing up at him as you walk.

“The previous owner committed suicide in one of the bedrooms upstairs.”

“Oh great,” you mutter under your breath.

Up here on the second floor, things are a little less opulent compared to the first. There’s a hallway with three rooms on each side. The lighting is dimmed, and the wall is covered with a few rustic paintings. You spot your little suitcase waiting for you outside the door at the far end of the hall. Must be your room.

“Which one is haunted?” You whisper carefully to Baekhyun as he leads you down the hallway. He motions to the door right across your room and you immediately feel chills cascading up and down your body. 

Baekhyun opens the door to your room, and you step inside, pulling your suitcase with you as he flicks the light on.

“Let me know if you need anything,” He says.

“Baekhyun wait,” You turn around, feeling more nervous now that he’s leaving. The door nearly closes, but it flew open again.

“What?” He says, standing at the doorway, his hand holding onto the door jamb.

“Where will you be sleeping?”

He nods towards the room next door.

“Oh,” That’s a relief. “Okay. Goodnight.”

A little frown forms on his forehead as he stands there, studying your face. “Will you be okay?”

“You mean will I be okay staying across a haunted room? or will I be okay staying with you for the next three weeks?”

“Both.”

“No and no,” You reply sharply. “can’t even stand being in the same room with you for a minute, let alone live together.”

You didn’t know what got into you, but you certainly didn’t mean to say that. 

Baekhyun inhales sharply, like he is resisting the urge to fire something back at you. “Do you want me to send you home? You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

Not like I have a home, you wanted to tell him. But that will only lead to him questioning you why. You are too exhausted for questions.

“Nevermind,” You reply, turning away from him. “Just leave me alone.”

“I swear you are so fucking confusing sometimes,” He murmurs under his breath.

“Me? Confusing?” You snapped your head around to glare at him. “This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t agree to this stupid arrangement. You brought me into this! It’s all your fault!”

The door swings open and Baekhyun takes a step in. “If you’re so against it, you should’ve said no to my mother just now. It’s as simple as that!” He argued. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because…I–” You halt, lips parting and unparting. “I just can’t, okay?”

His brows knit together. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“My Dad wants me here,” you finally admit with a defeated sigh. “And he thinks I should marry you.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell him that you’re not up for it?! You didn’t seem to have any problem shooting me down earlier,” He says snidely.

“You don’t understand,” you say. “Me and my Dad, to say that our relationship is strained is an understatement. He’ll be so disappointed if I say no. And I don’t want to destroy the little contact we have left by letting him down.”

He stares at you, taking a moment to let your words sink. “So you’re actually going to consider marrying me?”

“I really don’t know, Baekhyun,” you tell him with a big fat sigh. “I’m too exhausted to think right now. All I need is sleep.”

He nods. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” you mutter when the door is about to close.

He looks at you, a small smile on his face. “It’s okay, I actually missed it.”

Your lift one eyebrow at him. “You missed being yelled at by me?”

“Yeah,” He admits. “But I miss you even more.”

He sounds so sincere you nearly fall for his words. But then you are reminded that this is Baekhyun you’re talking about. The man blurt whatever he wants, whenever he wants to. You can’t take his words seriously.

“Goodnight, Baekhyun.” You simply say.

“You’re not gonna say it back?” He asks, mischief filling his eyes.

“Nope,” You say, turning away from him.

“Fine. Just don’t come looking for me when the demon creature haunts you tonight.”

You whip your head around to look at him. “There’s a demon creature?!”

Instead of answering, he turns away and slams the door in your face like a first class asshole that he is, leaving you all alone in that room.

You spent the last night stewing over what a terrible idea this whole situation is, so when morning comes, you’ve finally made peace with the fact that you’re staying here for the next three weeks. Anyway, it’s summer break. There’s nothing you can do, and nowhere you can go. You’re either here with Baekhyun, or all alone in your apartment overseas.

You figure the former is more appealing because no matter how insufferable Baekhyun can be sometimes, he is still your friend and you could use some company.

As for the marriage arrangement, as crazy as it sounds, you might actually consider giving it a chance.

Might. Consider.

And if you were to say yes, you’re doing it for your Dad, not for Baekhyun. Maybe it’s the message he sent you that is appealing to your sacrificial side. The side that is willing to do anything to make him proud, to earn his approval. Maybe this would help salvage your relationship with your Dad.

You can only hope.

Deciding it is pointless to continue stewing, you get off bed and slid on your plush robe before leaving the room. In the daylight, roaming the hallway doesn’t feel as eerie as it felt last night. But knowing there’s a haunted room still gives you chill.

You finally stop at Baekhyun’s room and rap lightly on the door.

No answer.

You tried knocking a few more times and finally decide to enter when there’s still no response. The door parts slightly just enough for you to peek your head through. You glance at the bed. Baekhyun is not there but you can hear the shower running.

Your eyes continue to roam over the room. There’s a huge display shelves covering one side of the room and it’s filled with train sets and famous landmarks built out of Lego.

You smile to yourself. You’ve always known about this obsession of his since he was little, you just didn’t know it would stick with him until now. The adult Baekhyun doesn’t strike you as someone who plays with Lego. More like someone who plays with women. Guess you don’t know him well after all.

Something else catches your eye.

Scattered on the floor near the shelves is a lego set that is halfway done. You’ve never seen one that huge before. Looks like he is building the Tower Bridge. Intrigued, you find yourself entering the room, leaving the door open behind you. You made sure to be mindful of your steps as you make your way around the bricks and pieces. Has anyone ever tried stepping on this thing? Hurt shitless just so you know.

You bend your knees and squat down to get a clearer look of the miniatures. Everything looks so wee and cute. You smile at a tiny replica of a london bus and pick it up. As you’re inspecting it, the bathroom door behind cracks open.

You slowly bring your head around and…

Oh My GOD...

You gape and freeze on the spot, the bricks slipping out of your grasp, free-falling to the ground. Standing at the threshold of the bathroom is Baekhyun. Wearing nothing from head to toe. And he is staring at you, eyes wide open, looking more dumbfounded than ever.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He yells from where he stands.

“I’m sorry!!” You snap your head around and quickly get to your feet. You’re about to flee the scene, but as soon as you take your first step, a sharp, jabbing pain strike you on the back of your feet causing you to take tumble.

You don’t like to use the f-word unless needed but...

FUCKING HELL!

Everything crashes down. For a second you can almost see your life flashes before your eyes. They say it happens before you die. Well you’re not dead. But you’re pretty sure it feels all the fucking same when your ass landed on these tiny little bricks on the floor. Hurts like hell!

“Fuck! Are you okay?”

You lift your head and gasp at the sight of him striding towards you. All naked. His giant dick swinging freely.

Don’t look at it, don’t look!

Instead you ogle.

God, you can’t unsee that thing even if you try. Maybe it is a testament to how lonely or horny you are. You’ve been in a dry spell for many years now. Or maybe because you’ve never seen a penis that huge, that thick in real life before. All of a sudden you’re wishing this is porn so you could just get on your knees and suck him off into oblivion.

Baekhyun clears his throat and the sound slice through your dirty thoughts. You snapped out of it, glancing up to find him towering over you.

“I’m so sorry!!” You yell while simultaneously slapping your palm over your eyes to cover your vision.

With your free hand, you push yourself up to your feet and quickly turn to scuttle away. Your ass is on fire but you don’t even care anymore. All you need is to get out of there.

Holy Shit

After that awkward encounter in Baekhyun’s room this morning, the two of you are now having breakfast in complete silence. Mrs Byun has to fly out of the country to be with his husband, so it’s just you and Baekhyun in the house. Plus the housemaids. But they are mostly unseen unless needed.

The dining room is so quiet all you hear is the clinking sound of spoons hitting against the plates. You are trying so hard to avoid eye-contact with Baekhyun. It didn’t help that everytime you chance a glance at him, he is already staring and all you can think of is his...you know what I’m saying. Afterwards, you’ll start blushing like mad.

Baekhyun, on the contrary, is enjoying this too much. That smug grin on his face says it all, and his eyes never leaves you, not even once. He loves messing with you like this, especially when he manage to get you all shy and red like you do now.

Once breakfast is over, you immediately retires to your room. You spend the rest of the afternoon in bed with your e-reader, reading the newest fantasy-romance you’ve just purchased. For a while, you allow yourself to disappear into someone else’s life, in another world that is different from the one you’re living in. It feels freeing, and it helps obliviate all the pain even though it’s just for a little while.

When you finally exit your room, it’s only because you’re feeling thirsty. You’ve taken a shower and are dressed in your maroon sweater that falls over one shoulder with a pair of black leggings. It is nearly seven o’clock and the hallway is starting to get dark. Suddenly reminded that there might be a demon creature roaming who knows where, you made your way to the staircase with hurried steps.

That’s when you run into Baekhyun.

He is climbing up the last flight of stairs while you’re about to descend. You stop in your tracks and stare. He didn’t notice you there as he’s playing with his phone. Seems like he just went for a swim. His hair wet, and he’s clad in a grey bathrobe. The belt is knotted, but the V neckline is revealing his bare chest. You feel a tug in your lower belly as you continue ogling. This man has a very very broad shoulder, the kind that makes you feel small, and with the droplets of water trickling down his skin, he’s looking even more lickable than usual.

What are you talking about?!

You shake your head to shove that musing far far away. You swear that naked encounter this morning really did a number on you.

“Hey,” Baekhyun greets as he reaches the top of the stairs, no longer staring at his phone but you.

You respond with a soft hum and proceed to brush past him. He tsks and reaches out to grab your arm, pulling you back.  

“How long are you planning to ignore me?” He ask, sounding gruff.

“I’m not ignoring you,” You deny. “I was just going to head downstair to get something to drink.”

“Then explain why you’re hiding in your room doing who knows what for the whole fucking day? Is that what you’re planning to do for the rest of your stay here?” He asks.

“No,” You answer in small voice.

Baekhyun studies your face, like he’s searching for an answer. “Is it because of what happened this morning? you walking in on me naked?” He surmises.

Yes and yes.

You feel your cheek growing hot, and Baekhyun notices it too.

“Come on, it’s just a dick. Pretty sure you’ve seen one before,” He teases.

“That’s not just a dick, that’s–” the words trail away and you press your lips together to stop yourself.

A slow smirk pulls at his lips. “What?” he asks.

That’s one hell of a fucking dick, you say internally, refusing to voice it out. The man doesn’t need an extra boost to his ego. Instead, you raise your chin and say, “What do you want from me?”

“Look,” He says, getting serious again. “The reason we’re both stuck in here is because we have to; I’m doing this for my father and you’re doing this because you don’t want to let your father down. It’s up to you whether or not you want to marry me, and you’ve got three weeks to consider it. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun while you are here.”

He’s right. You can’t be staying in your room with your nose stuck in your book for the next twenty-eight days.

“What do you suggest we do then?” You ask him.

“There’s a game I’d like us to play,” He suggests.

“Game?” you ask curiously, tilting your head to the side.

“Yeah. We can get to know each other through this game.”

“We know each other, Baekhyun,” you tell him. “We were friends remember?”

“That was six years ago. People change,” he says in an as a matter-of-fact tone.

True that. “Fine, how do we play?”

“I’m sure you know this game; Truth or Dare. You get to choose one between the two. If truth is chosen, I’ll ask a question and you have to answer it honestly. No lie, no avoiding the question. And if you fail to answer, you’ll have to perform a dare. Each person gets three turns a day. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“I’ll go first,” he starts. “So, truth or dare?”

You take a moment to think. Choosing dare seems like too much of a risk to take. Baekhyun can be very mischievous sometimes. What if he dares you to do something ridiculous like a lap dance or anything of that sort.

“Truth.” You finally choose.

“Are you seeing anyone right now?” He asks.

“No.”

He looks relieved as he smiles. “Now, your turn.”

“Truth or Dare?” you ask, hoping he would choose the latter. You have a strong urge to dare him to lick your toes or wash your feet or anything like that to annoy him.

“Truth,” He picks instead.

“Ugh,” you grumble. Honestly, you can’t think of anything to ask at the moment, so you end up asking, “What’s your hobby?”

He gives you the eye-roll. “Boring.”

“Just answer the question, Baekhyun,” You say impatiently, wanting this to be done so you can get away from him. “So, what’s your hobby?” You ask again.

“Sex. I love sex...if that’s a hobby.”

“Why am I even surprise?” You whisper to yourself, rather monotonously.

“My turn again,” He goes on. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“I’m just curious...” He hesitates for a fleeting moment. “Are you a virgin?”

You look him dead in the eye. Not that you are a virgin but not that it’s his business either. “Why do you want to know?” You ask.

He gives a casual shrug. “Just for future reference.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Come on lady, do you really think nothing is going to happen between us over the next three weeks?”

How presumptuous! “I’m not going to sleep with you if that’s what you’re saying.”

“Ouch.” He clutches his heart, pretending to be hurt. “I thought you’d be interested after seeing my human sausage.”

“You did not just say human sausage.” You press your lips together, trying to suppress a laughter.

“What should I call it then?” He raises his brows. “Mushroom head? Semen maker? Corndog?”

“Please, stop,” You say through your pressed lips.

He grins. “What about cum factory? Sounds good?”

That’s it. You burst into laughter in a terribly unladylike way. It sounds almost like a pig snorting that you have to turn your back to him to hide your face.

“Do you want me continue, babe?” He teases. “I can go on all night.”

You shake your head jerkily. “No! no more dick talk, please.”

It takes a while for you to compose yourself. You take a deep breath and turn back around to face him. Baekhyun chuckles at how flushed you look after all those laughters. To tell the truth, he’s been wanting to make you laugh like this. You look so beautiful you damn near take his breath away.

“You haven’t answered my question,” He says. “Are you a virgin?”

“I’m not telling you,” You refuse.

“Well, you know the consequence when you can’t answer a question.”

“Fine, I’ll do a dare. What do you want me to do?”

Baekhyun rubs his lips together, taking his time to think.

“You’re not going to ask me to kiss you, right?” You guess. Somehow that’s the only thing that crosses your mind.

“That’s not what I’m thinking,” He gaze into your eyes, then your lips. “though I wouldn’t mind at all.”

You swallow nervously. “Wh-what do you want me to do then?”

His gaze ascends to your face. “Sing me that song,” he demands.

“What song?”

“Baby...” He starts singing, “Shark doo doo doo doo.”

“Go fuck yourself, Baekhyun!” You snarl and start walking off down the hall.

“Where are you going, babe?” He asks through his laughter.

You flip him the middle finger and keep walking. 

Next Chapter

To be Continued

[beautifulterriblequeen]

do you think ethari and runaan's discussion/disagreement about rayla going on the mission would've happened before or after the lotus scene we saw in s3? i'm curious!

Before, for sure. We’re still not sure on the timing of those pre-mission events--how much time passed between Avizandum’s death and Lain and Tiadrin’s ghosting, how much time passed between the ghosting and Runaan getting his mission, how much time passed between getting his mission and actually leaving on it. Maybe he and his assassins do a lot of mission-specific training before they leave, so they’re best prepared for conditions relating to the task at hand. Maybe there’s scouting missions and such that have to happen first. I mean, Runaan did know the layout of the castle by the time he got there. Did he just sneak around on the rooftops and figure that out that evening, or do the Moonshadow assassins have castle layouts for all the human kingdoms just filed away somewhere from scout reports? Who knows.

Anyway. Considering that Runaan and his assassins had their “war paint” on and performed a ritual to track their life signs, I think their departure on the mission was imminent. Possibly leaving that very night, since Runaan performed the binding ritual in the daytime and the assassins attacked after sunset.

So I do think that Runaan and Ethari still disagreed with each other even during that kiss, which makes it all the more poignant. I think they’d disagreed from the moment Rayla brought up her request, or from the moment Ethari heard about it, and they kept disagreeing and never resolved it. I don’t know if they’d actually have been as distant as they were in my ficlet--that was just the angst talking--but I can see why they never managed to resolve it. But resolution isn’t necessary when you love someone unconditionally, and these two elves do love each other unconditionally.

I think Ethari, being so emotionally open, knew exactly why Runaan needed to give Rayla this one perfect chance. Ethari could tell it came from a place of love in Runaan’s heart, and that probably kept him from being able to really argue against the decision as hard as he wanted to. He’s soft and he wouldn’t want to hurt Runaan by telling him he wasn’t allowed to show Rayla how much he loved her. At the same time, though, uhhh all that death and danger, so Ethari couldn’t let go of his worry for them both.

Runaan’s the sticking point in this disagreement. He’s harder than Ethari, less emotionally in tune, and his naturally narrower viewpoint is really getting in his own way here. He wants to do a thing that makes perfect sense to him, but he’s thinking with his heart, and he really doesn’t do that very often, so he can’t see his own pitfalls. If he’d been pushed harder, I think he would’ve found a way to adapt differently--he can do that under pressure. But Ethari didn’t--wouldn’t--pressure him hard enough, out of his own love for Runaan. And when Ethari backed off or didn’t push any harder, Runaan felt justified in his choice. Force, whether physical or argumentative, is a language Runaan speaks fluently. Ethari’s failure to overcome Runaan’s plans just feels like victory.

Like I said, I don’t know how long these two were at odds before Runaan’s mission began. But I think that at some point Ethari--because he has to go first--realized that if he did push too hard, he risked upsetting Runaan before a mission and possibly damaging his relationship with Rayla. Ethari can read all these emotional cues very well, better than Runaan can. Those were very real risks to him. At the same time, he does trust Runaan’s skills. He’s always come home before. If anyone is fully invested in keeping Rayla safe, it’s Runaan. And thirdly, Ethari just plain loves his husband and wants him to come home safe.

Runaan’s a stubborn elf. Ethari gave way first, out of love for him. He still held his worries in his eyes. Runaan knew they were there. But Runaan was--and always is--supremely confident in himself. He always had every intention of coming back safely, with Rayla having brought honor to her family once again. Ethari had to put his trust in his husband as he never had before, that he would succeed and protect Rayla if she faltered.

Ethari had to choose to accept Rayla taking a life in exchange for her coming home safely. He’d rather have her hardened than dead. But he knows there’s a cost to what Runaan does. It couldn’t have been fun for Runaan to hear Ethari say that Runaan had a dark heart from doing his job so long and that Ethari didn’t want Rayla’s heart to match. Even if you love someone unconditionally, that’s got to sting a bit, getting judged on the status of your heart even though it’s a result of your honorable duty. But Runaan’s the one who initiated the kiss, so he had to forgive Ethari his viewpoint. Probably--hopefully--because Runaan knows Ethari’s right. Runaan does have some illusions about himself--that supreme confidence, for one--but I hope he knows that he really is darkened by his duty. I think he does. In that lovely HBMP podcast about Moonshadow elves, Devon Giehl and Iain Hendry said that Runaan could never hate anyone that Ethari liked, and that’s stuck with me because it tells me that on some deep and true level, Runaan knows that Ethari’s a better judge of character than he is. Which means Runaan must acknowledge that he’s a bit too hard, and that’s why he values Ethari’s opinion so much. Ethari is his second heart, his softer heart.

I honestly love this setup because its conflicts seem inextricable. How would Runaan have actually given Rayla what she needed without taking her along? How could this situation have played out any differently without damaging other relatinships? And then we have the whole thing being false, an illusion caused by Viren (why is it always Viren’s fault), because Rayla’s parents were never cowards at all and their honor should never have been questioned. I love and hate it so much! And it just sweeps Ethari and Runaan, and Rayla, up in all this emotional drama that they can’t escape.

The fact that Runaan and Ethari kissed so softly and sweetly before Runaan left just tells me how strong their bond is. They had so much swirling beneath the surface. But for the sake of appearances, for Rayla’s sake, and because they truly do adore each other, they agreed to disagree quietly, to move forward with what must be done, and to choose to focus on what they could agree that they didn’t want to change: their love and affection for each other.

I think you can see that unresolved discussion even in that kiss, though. Ethari leans in because he adores Runaan, but then he pulls back and his shoulders slump because he’s sad that here they are on the cusp of Runaan leaving, and his heart is still full of worry for him and Rayla. Runaan tips up his chin and silently reassures him that he’s got this, and everything will be fine. And he does it so softly. It’s clear that no matter how heated any past disagreement got, it’s settled into a low key worry-and-reassurance now. They’re not upset at each other. They’re just upset. But they still love and trust each other, and like Runaan said in my ficlet, the Moon moves forward. And so must they.

Wow. This turned into a whole-ass TED talk. So thanks for coming. I guess you can tell how much I love and support these elf husbands, huh.

[aiimaginesbts]

Of Two Hearts: Chapter 2

Seokjin x Reader x Taehyung (ft. Jimin and Namjoon)

Genres: Royalty AU, angst

Word count: 6,112 words

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Read the First Part: What You Never Had

A/N: Thanks Ann @godsavemefrombts for beta-ing this!

Disclaimer/Copyright

Your knees simply gave out.

There was no other word for it. Suddenly all the strength within you vanished into thin air, your legs could no longer support the weight of your body and you crumpled to the ground. “Y/n!” Namjoon cried out and went swiftly around his desk to rush to your aid. When he had you cradled safely in his arms, he turned to the messenger and said, “Thank you for giving us the news as quickly as you could. I have to ask you to refrain from sharing it with anyone else until we can figure out how to deal with it. Otherwise there will be panic.”

The messenger nodded gravely. “Understood, Your Highness.”

“You are dismissed. Make sure you get medical attention for your wounds at once.”

You were only vaguely aware of the messenger’s departure from the room. Any thoughts of Jin and Jimin flew from your mind; the only thing that remained was your father. The news left you in such a state of shock that your eyes didn’t even form tears. Yes, you had been dreading exactly this, but now that it really happened, you realised that you’d never really believed that it would. Regardless of the situation, your father was invincible in your eyes. He would live forever, you’d thought. Outliving you, even. That he would no longer be there, forever, shattered everything around you until you felt nothing.

Eventually, you became aware of Namjoon’s arms tightening around you, and your inelegant position on the carpet. You had no idea how much time had passed; for all you know, you’d only lost your mind for a moment or two, but it felt like forever. It hurt so very badly, that it wouldn’t have subsided in a million years. Yet the sun was still shining outside. It shouldn’t, in your opinion. It was the darkest day of your life, and you were unreasonably angry at the sun for continuing to be so warm and bright. That misplaced rage that should be directed of the faceless men of Zinnis pricked at the corner of your eyes, and it brought clarity. And with it, grief. You clutched at the lapel of Namjoon’s coat and sobbed. It was much more subdued than you’d have thought warranted on such an occasion. Truthfully, you wanted to wail and scream at the cruelty, the injustice, but you couldn’t. The passing of your father left you broken, and you felt weak. Your eldest brother’s support gave you the strength to let out your emotions in continuous but short, soft whimpers, and nothing more. Even though you knew that Namjoon was as stricken as you were at the news, perhaps he was as comforted by your presence as you were by his. Thus, you sought solace in each other, during that small window of opportunity when you didn’t have to pretend, until you needed to go on and be strong for the sake of others.

Unfortunately, that time wasn’t long in coming. News of the King’s passing spread like wildfire through the bordering villages, eventually making its way to the towns, then, the entire country and beyond. All at an alarming rate that you weren’t sure you were prepared for. Amidst the chaos that wracked the castle for the next two weeks came the confirmation that Jimin had escaped the ambush. Apparently, he’d been caught in the attack, but managed to flee with the help of the guards.

The guards. You had bitten the inside of your cheek so hard when you’d heard the message alongside Namjoon, trying to keep your tongue still and your face calm, that you could taste blood in your mouth from biting your lower lip. Relief that your second brother was safe was immense, but what of Jin? You were dying to know. However, that was the least of your worries. On the surface, at least. Even whilst still mourning for the late King, Namjoon had to take over the role — in responsibilities if not yet in name. The people were in a panic, and rightly so. In the castle, the overlapping voices of the nobles were only making everything more confusing, all of them anxious to make themselves heard, each one convinced that their opinion was the only one that mattered.

It was enough to drive you mad. You’d barely been allowed time to grieve for your father before you’d been drowned with responsibilities and your sense of loyalty towards Namjoon. He needed all the support he could get. Heaven knew how he was coping with it all. Even with the news that Jimin had survived, both of you couldn’t be assured of the fact until you’d seen him with your own eyes. It was even worse for you, since you couldn’t even ask after Jin without making yourself look suspicious, so you had two people to worry about.

“His my Royal Guard, after all. Perhaps it would be fine to ask?” You tried to cajole Ji Eun into agreeing with you, but the sentence ended up as a question, rather than a statement. Really, you were just trying to convince yourself. It didn’t even take much reasoning to see that there was no way for you to find out about Jin’s condition. Even if you inquired about him, you doubted that the status of each of the guards that had followed the late King and his youngest son were known. All you could do was worry about Jin all by yourself—

Your head snapped up sharply as you came to a realisation. No, you were not the only one worrying about Jin. Some distance away from the castle, his parents were surely wondering the fate of their only child. A twinge of guilt nagged at you when you remembered that you hadn’t visited since the day you came of age. The day that introduced you as the Princess to the whole world. The day that Jin discovered your true identity. So many things had happened since then. More importantly, sneaking out of the castle became even more dangerous, now that many of the citizens knew the face of their Princess. Thus, you’d stopped your clandestine visits out of the castle, limiting your outings to the ones carried out due to your duties. Clearly, those hadn’t allowed a trip to your beloved’s parents’ house.

Yet now you felt the urgent need to go. As painful as your concern for Jin was, his parents must be feeling it a hundred times over. Your hands fisted in your skirts in anger and guilt, directed inwards. It was shameful that you didn’t remember about it until now. Even though you hadn’t had the opportunity to communicate with his father often, since he was usually out the few times you visited, and the handful of times you did see him, you’d found that he wasn’t one for many words, Jin’s mother had always been friendly and welcoming. Perhaps she knew that there was something going on between you and her son. You wondered if she’d disapprove of your relationship, knowing now who you actually were. Surely the stopping of your visits didn’t help your cause, but you’d like to believe that she understood your position. And you wished that she would have blessed the feelings that you and Jin had for each other.

However, none of that mattered if something had happened to him. It was a moment of clarity for you. Jin’s life far outweighed the love you had for him — the very emotion that had been the center of your turbulent thoughts these past few months. You would do anything if it would guarantee his safety. Which made the whole situation all the more unbearable, since there was nothing you could do. You turned to Ji Eun, wearing a pleading look that put her on guard immediately.

Over three hours later, you flopped inelegantly on your bed and closed your eyes. Exhaustion from arguing with your lady-in-waiting can be felt not just in your brain and throat, but somehow all over your body. Yet it was still far from over, it seems. Neither of you had budged from your initial opinions; you asserting that Jin’s parents needed to be reassured, even if there was no reassurance to be given, and Ji Eun insisting that such an endeavour was unnecessary and out of the question. She’d only agreed to summon Jungkook to your study. When you’d asked her to do so, you’d been hoping that the guard would agree to accompany you on your visit. Yet Ji Eun had agreed to your request to bring Jungkook over quite readily. The right corner of your mouth dipped in a thoughtful frown. You had no doubt that she was browbeating Jungkook into agreeing to refuse any of your requests on their way back to you.

Maybe it was because you were lying flat on your back, but your sigh felt especially loud and heavy. A few moments of silence passed, then your groan filled the air as you sat up and brought your forehead to your knees. Jin’s soft but stern voice sounded in your head, reminding you not to do anything foolish or dangerous. With an unladylike groan, you shifted to press your eyes against your knees, as if that could block out his sensible words. It hurt to think of him when you didn’t even know if he was still alive or not. You had always followed your instinct, even though you knew that it wasn’t the wisest course of action. Yet this time it was your head that told you to go to provide comfort to Jin’s parents, and hopefully, selfishly, gain some solace for yourself, too. However, your instinct remained unmoved, giving no drive for you to move. Instead, you heard — or perhaps remembered, you weren’t sure — Jin’s warning, advising you against it.

Even though you had no idea what it meant, a wave of unease washed over you. All of a sudden, you felt unsure and extremely vulnerable. All the more Jin’s absence left you completely lost. You had taken him for granted, and now only when he wasn’t around that you knew how much you needed him. Remorse filled you as you remembered how you’d avoided him for the past few weeks. It was hardly fair for him to be pushed away while you tried to figure out the obstacles in your relationship. Especially when he’d been fully aware of the impossibility of the situation due to the difference in your stations from the very beginning. It was you who’d been convinced that everything would turn out fine, too short-sighted to really contemplate your obligations as a princess. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pushed him away, even if you couldn’t bear to share your insecurities with him. You had no idea how much you’d depended on him. Jin was the reason you had felt so safe, even when you were doing reckless things. Ever since the first day you’d met him, you knew he was your very own knight. Not just because he was your personal Royal Guard. You just knew that no matter what you did, no matter how dangerous the situation you found yourself in, Jin would be there to save you.

But Jin wasn’t here now. Even if he had survived the Zinnis ambush, there was no way he could come to your aid should something happen. The chaos inside the castle was just a small sample of the state of things outside in the capital; the whole country was in a state of unrest. People were surely anxious and fearful of the fate of their youngest Prince, all the while preparing themselves for a war. It was inevitable now. You didn’t have to ask Namjoon to know that even leaving the castle fully guarded was ill-advised; to sneak out with only one protector would be foolish to the extreme. As it was, you were sure that you were already halfway to insanity, arguing within yourself with someone who wasn’t even there.

By the time Ji Eun returned with Jungkook to meet you in your small study within your suite of chambers, you were already weary from your battle with yourself. Still, you tried to appear collected and authoritative as you sat behind your desk; the way you should appear. You could tell that Ji Eun had already warned him of the request you wanted to make, and couldn’t blame him for holding himself so stiffly, as if bracing himself for something unpleasant. And just a short while ago, you would have gone ahead and told him of your initial request. “Jungkook, I have been told that the Royal Guard Seokjin’s parents live in the capital,” you said slowly, carefully weighing the words on your tongue before uttering them. “Do you know where it is?”

He looked surprised, but nodded, wide-eyed. “I have been to visit before, Your Highness.” Of course; you remembered that Jungkook was Jin’s junior in the military academy. The younger man looked up to him, and so Jin had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on Jungkook. They had gotten rather close. You tried to work the words out in your head before saying them. It didn’t seem like he suspected your feign of ignorance. Your words made it seem like it was just something you’d heard in passing. Perhaps a tidbit that Jin has shared with you himself. He was your Royal Guard, after all.

In the end, you decided to stay as close to the truth as possible. “They must be worried sick about him,” you conveyed your real feelings with words disguised as concern as a princess. “Would you mind checking in on them to make sure they are alright?”

“Of course not. I would be happy to.” Jungkook’s soft sigh of relief followed his agreement, and you had to try hard to pretend that you didn’t hear it. Even though you had no idea what Ji Eun had told him, you could easily hazard a guess; a favour, probably unpleasant, and definitely dangerous to your safety. You bit back a wry smile. Jungkook was lucky that you weren’t being wilful today, you supposed. Truth be told, you really wanted to go — the original request that you’d had for him was to accompany you there. But somewhere between sending a reluctant Ji Eun with your request and Jungkook’s arrival, you’d changed your intentions. You were sure that she would ask you why you’d changed your mind, but you didn’t have a ready answer. It wasn’t as if Jin was by your side, persuading you to abandon the idea, as much as you’d like it to be true. It didn’t matter, anyway. Even if you did go, what could you do, other than apologise for not visiting for so long due to the real nature of your position? How would you even explain that — posing as a commoner and making their son fall in love with you, only to end up in a relationship that couldn’t possibly head anywhere? You knew you couldn’t bring yourself to reassure them that Jin was fine. Not when you were worried and deathly afraid that might not be the case yourself. Your shook your head mentally, forcing yourself to focus on the two people actually in front of you, and off the person who wasn’t even there.

“Thank you, Jungkook. Do let me know if they need anything,” you said with a nod, dismissing him. A part of you debated the wisdom of telling him to relay the message saying that you were praying for his safe return, but you decided against it. Although Jin had probably told his parents who you really were, you weren’t completely sure of that fact. Even if they knew, you couldn’t guarantee that they won’t say something about your relationship with Jin to Jungkook. Best to play it safe and not ask him to say anything about you at all. However, just before he could leave the room, you asked him, “perhaps it would be best not to let others know of my request. I do not want to be seen as having favourites, but I do not know the circumstances of the other men in the group.” It was a lame excuse, since you were playing favourites, in a way. But it was the only way you could think of to inform Jungkook not to tell anyone else. You trusted that he wouldn’t if you’d instructed him not to.

Jungkook nodded his assent, then left. As expected, your lady-in-waiting immediately pounced, insanely curious as to what made you change your mind. You were aware that you were the most obstinate person, which was why she wasn’t completely satisfied when you said it was your instinct. Surely there must be something more, she’d said, and you would have agreed with her if you hadn’t known your own heart.

It turned out that your guts had been pulling you in the right direction, after all. The sun had barely left the skies and the darkness had hardly claimed the night when Ji Eun arrived with a message. She took care to be suspiciously quiet, even though she was visibly excited — her eyes were wide, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, as if she couldn’t believe the news herself, even though she was the one delivering it. After taking a deep breath, she exclaimed in the lowest voice she could muster, “They are back!”

“What?” You asked cluelessly, never for one second thinking that such news would come at that moment. It took a few seconds for you to digest her meaning, but when you did, you started up from your seat, almost upsetting the tea service in the process. “You mean, Jimin—“

She nodded vigorously in confirmation, and your fingers dig into the soft material of the chair. “What about...” you choked on your words, too scared to bring yourself to finish the sentence. As if stopping in the middle would protect you from any bad tidings. But you didn’t have to, because Ji Eun knew exactly what you wanted to say. She nodded firmly.

Immediately you stood, ready to rush to Jin’s side, but then you stopped yourself. With your brain catching up with the instinctive actions that your body took, everything came rushing to you, and you sagged back into your seat. Relief unlike anything you’d ever felt before washed over you, even as your feet itched to run towards him. Thank goodness you didn’t leave the castle with Jungkook to go to Jin’s house earlier. You didn’t even know where he was, exactly, but you would search every nook and cranny of the castle if you’d followed your heart’s desire. Jin was alive! Just a few minutes ago your heart was heavy with guilt and the uncertainty of Jin’s condition. Right now he and Jimin were in the same building as you. You could hardly believe it. Yet you couldn’t rush to Jin like you wanted to. It was painful to hold yourself back, but you were thankful enough that he was alive. You could almost bear anything as long as he was safe.

After composing yourself as best you could, you started out of your chambers with Ji Eun. You wanted to see your brother. At least that wasn’t out of the ordinary. Hopefully Jin was there with him. However, when you arrived, he clearly wasn’t in attendance, since the only people who were present in Namjoon’s study was himself and Jimin, but upon seeing your second brother, thoughts of Jin was easily put aside. After all, even though you knew that he was alive, you’d been just as concerned about Jimin as you were about Jin. Yes, you’d known that Jimin had survived the attack early on, but that didn’t mean you weren’t worried about him. You wanted to make sure that he was unhurt — at least physically; you were sure that the passing of your father had affected him even more than it did you, since it happened in his presence — and simply to reassure yourself that he was there. He looked haggard, and your heart cried for him. The physical, mental and emotional exertion of the travel and the ambush had clearly taken a toll on him, and even though he smiled the moment he saw you, the expression was tired, almost strained.

With no regard to propriety, you ran towards Jimin, stopping short just before you crashed into him. Grabbing his forearms, you assessed him from top to bottom, eyes narrowed to catch every single scratch. It might not have been a good idea, though. There were more than a few scratches on the younger prince, even a gash that you were sure was the surface of an even deeper wound. He was in one piece, but every single injury on him tore at your heart, making you tremble and envisioning tearing faceless men limb from limb for laying their hands on your brother. For a short while, Jimin indulged in your quiet assessment of his well-being. But it didn’t take long for him to deduce that you’d never be completely assured, and so he runs his thumb gently over the creases between your brows. “I’m fine,” he informed you.

Your lips trembled at his voice; whether it was because you missed it, or because you knew that he wasn’t actually fine — not really — and you threw your arms around him. Pressing your face as hard as you could against his chest, you managed to keep the tears at bay. “Do you have any idea how worried we were?” Your muffled words were more watery than angry, devoid of any actual accusation. Jimin was home, and that was all that mattered. Losing your father had caused you enough grief without having to cry over your brother as well, and you knew Namjoon agreed. After calming yourself down, you and your brothers had a long talk over the devastating incident.

Listening to Jimin’s first-hand recounting was a painful but necessary experience. The gist of it was as you’d heard from the messenger, but Jimin filled in the blanks. He was inside the carriage with the late King, going over the more important issues that they’d hoped to discuss with the King of Zinnis, when shouts rang from outside. The men from Zinnis far outnumbered the guards protecting the carriage, easily decimating the ones from the right of it with hardly any time for your men to sound the alarm. From Jimin’s point of view, the enemy was on top of them before he could even draw his sword. The shock and force was such that he wouldn’t have been surprised if the sturdy carriage had overturned from the sheer strength of horse and men. Jimin had rushed outside to join the men, while being wary of straying too far from the carriage.

Yet it was all for naught. As he was furiously slashing at his enemies, a hand had pulled on his shoulder, and he almost took a swipe at the unwitting man behind as he turned around. “It was Sir Kim Seokjin.” Jimin’s voice remained calm, but his eyes flicked in your direction for an instant before settling on Namjoon again.

The eldest Prince frowned in confusion. “Kim Seokjin?” He asked, unfamiliar with the name.

“Y/n’s Royal Guard.” Jimin nodded towards you, and Namjoon made a sound of recognition.

“Ah. Yes. He was the one who discovered the pirates’ hideout, wasn’t he?” Your eldest brother turned towards you for confirmation, and you muttered your assent.

“He had also protected her on several occasions,” Jimin added, and you looked at him carefully. Was he up to something? You had convinced yourself that Jimin wouldn’t reveal the relationship you had with Jin, but it wasn’t hard to put yourself on guard.

Namjoon shot you a withering look, clearly disapproving of the fact that his baby sister had needed so much saving in the first place, but thankfully he didn’t comment further. Instead, he told Jimin to continue with his tale. After jumping back to narrowly escape Jimin’s blade, Jin had fearlessly approached your brother again, grabbing his arm to urge that he leave at once. You had to bite back a whimper when he’d refused, telling Jin that he had to protect the King. Somehow you’d known, even before Jimin sadly recounted that Jin had shook his head and pointed towards the carriage. In the midst of fighting, they had unconsciously moved away from the vehicle, but they were still close enough for Jimin to see your father lying in a puddle of blood on the ground next to it. Even though days had passed since receiving the news on your father, you remembered the devastation that you had felt — and was still feeling now. So you weren’t surprised to find out that Jin had dragged Jimin, who would have remained immobile in his state of shock, away from the chaos of battle.

“I was completely useless,” Jimin berated himself, hanging his head in shame. Even though he’d confessed that Jin had to fend off the attackers as they made their way towards some horses to escape, you couldn’t bear to listen to your brother’s self-loathing. You moved to sit next to him, enveloping him in a fierce hug.

“You are not useless,” you said firmly. “If you hadn’t escaped, Amaryll would have lost their King and their Prince. And I would have lost my brother, too.” A sob lodged in your throat, so you cleared it to ensure that it wouldn’t escape, composing yourself at the same time. “Our remaining men followed you to make sure that you are safe, and that is why there are as many survivors as there are now. You saved the lives of those men.”

Jimin’s only response was a wan smile, acknowledging your point, but you knew his heart wasn’t able to accept it, even if he understood it in his head. Suddenly desperate not to see his heartbreaking expression for a moment longer, you tried for a change in subject. “How are we to proceed from here?”

If the hushed voices that the three of you were using before was unsettling, the silence following your question was deafening. None of you knew what to say. It wasn’t that no one had the answer. That much was apparent. It was that neither you nor your brothers could bring yourselves to form the words. You nibbled on the inside of your cheek, regret sprouting from asking. However, you knew that it was something that needed to be addressed, and better sooner than later.

Your second brother was of the same mind, because he stated, “tongues will wag, but your coronation cannot be postponed, Namjoon. There will be chaos as it is, when word goes out that Father was murdered. We need to present a confident and prepared front.” After seeing Namjoon blanch at the suggestion, Jimin added, “it can be a simple one, just for formality.”

There really was no way around it, so in the end your eldest brother agreed. The rest of the evening was spent planning the occasion, as well as discussions on the first steps to be taken to prepare for the war. Everything must appear to be in place before informing people on the lower chain of command, as well as the masses. It all went more smoothly than you’d expected. Calmer and orderly. The ministers were clearly distressed by the news of the King’s passing, but you three siblings worked clinically, showing no effects from the heavy loss.

And you were still in the state of mind when (maid) found you later that night — in your night clothes, with your hair brushed down, ready for bed — yet sitting on the edge of it. Staring blankly at the floor, as if detached from reality. Your mind was just a blank, but nowhere ready to rest. Even when she called for you, your “Hmm?” was said out of habit more than anything else. In truth, you didn’t even notice her presence. You didn’t notice anything; not even the soft mattress you were perched on.

“Sir Seokjin is here to see you. I told him that it is very inappropriate—“ Her distressed tone barely registered with you, and when she ended her speech with a question, you simply answered with, “fine.”

“Fine?! But—“ her shrill reply was cut short by soft footsteps on the plushly carpeted floor, but you only felt relief that she’d stopped. You simply couldn’t summon the energy to move, not even an inch.

That was until heavy, comforting hands rested upon your shoulders. It startled you enough to make you look up into brown eyes that were filled with worry. “Jin?” It was hard to believe your own eyes. This was like a dream. Or a nightmare. All of it. Reality’s cruel weight suddenly crashed down on you, leaving you broken, a sobbing mess. The only thing keeping you sane was his arms around you, squeezing you so tightly as if to keep you together. It felt like he was the only good thing in your life at the moment.

“You’re alive,” you gasped, clutching at the front of his shirt. You needed to hold onto him, lest he disappeared like you’d seen so many times when you were asleep.

His response was to tighten his hold on you. Even though his breath that softly blew against the top of your head was warm, his words were more comforting, oddly. “I’m sorry.”

It was just that. He was sorry — for the death of your father, for his failure at protecting him, at the situation you were in now — it might be for one thing, or it might be for everything; you didn’t need to ask. There was no doubt that Jin would always want the best for you, and would do anything for your sake, and so just those simple two words conveyed enough. You nodded, throat still too clogged by your sobs to say anything.

He held you until your tears subsided, then coaxed you to sit side by side on the edge of the bed. Ji Eun had discreetly made an exit sometime after showing Jin in, and you were grateful for that. She was your confidante, but there are things that you just couldn’t share with her. Besides, you had always felt that she had often shouldered more than her share of burden, with your recklessness and frequent (some nobles might even say unhealthy for a woman) interest in Amaryll’s affairs. She also didn’t know Jin as you did, thus you wanted this time alone with him, after so long being apart, to just be the two of you.

“You’re hurt,” was your next, obvious assessment to his well-being. It was all you were capable of at the moment, but he understood the sentiment behind it. There was nothing you could do about him being in dangerous situations, yet you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from worrying. The best he could do was be forthright with you; so you could fuss over him when he was injured and feel genuine relief when he was not. It was better than hiding his pain from you – you had pointed that if you discovered that he was lying, even just once, you could never believe him again if he tried to reassure you that he was fine. Of course, you never wanted him to be hurt, but as long as he was alive, that was the most important part, in your opinion.

While he did not escape the ambush unscathed, Jin hadn’t sustained any serious injuries. After examining his cuts and bruises, you felt slightly more like yourself. It should be unsettling, to see your beloved in this state, but the fresh scars were undeniable proof that he was indeed alive. That simple fact did wonders for your frayed nerves and battered heart. Neither of you talked much. Whether it was because there was not much to talk about, or because you were both physically and mentally exhausted, or both, you weren’t completely sure.

It was comforting, but it wouldn’t last for long. Jin suddenly stopped moving, as if deep in thought. “So, we are at war now,” Jin sighed. You nodded, but you could tell that this was not what he wanted to say. There was also a forbidding feeling that you weren’t going to like whatever it was he was going to bring up. “It’s inevitable, of course, considering what happened.” Not knowing what to add to the one-way conversation, you made a soft sound of assent. “Zinnis may be a smaller country, but they are renowned for their military strength.” That was not news to you, either. While Amaryll is more than twice the size of Zinnis, most of your people were farmers and merchants, not soldiers. Trade was what your country was known for, and with its abundant fertile lands, Amaryll was a prime target for Zinnis. “We will need all the help that we can get if we are going to win this war.”

A part of you had anticipated what Jin was getting at from the beginning, but you were still unprepared to tell him the truth. He laid his hand on yours, and only then you noticed that you were trembling. Your hands clasped atop your lap were almost completely covered by his large one, and the sight fascinated you, for some reason. You just couldn’t look at the expression on his face right now. He called your name in a voice that was so gentle and kind. It was the reason you took his hand the first day you’d met him – he made you feel protected, like everything was going to be all right. Even as the world was crumbling all around you.

“My feelings for you will never change, even if you marry someone else.”

“How could I possibly?” The question was high-pitched with anger and cracked with pain as your head whipped around to finally look at him. Jin’s beautiful features were calm, already accepting the fact, but his eyes were filled with sadness that was more similar to your own feelings. “You’re the only one for me, Jin. You always have been. How could I marry Prince Taehyung?” Voicing it out in front of him for the first time was like finally validating the truth that you’d been trying to deny for so long. Once again, tears formed anew.

Jin raised his free hand to cup the side of your face, slowly brushing away the tears from your left cheek. “I have always known that this would never last. You should have known that too.” Yes, you knew that Jin had thought about this from the start. That was why he had refused to prolong your relationship when he’d found out who you were. Still, you had never wanted to believe that was true. It might be foolish of you. And it was definitely idiotic to want to continue believing that you and Jin still had a chance to be together. Your head knew without a shred of a doubt, but your heart remained unmoved in your feelings for Jin.

He brought your head to rest on his chest, and you went readily into his arms. Even though his stroked your hair softly, Jin had no intentions on letting you continue evading the inescapable. “The Crown Prince of Delphina has military strength that rivals – maybe even surpass – Zinnis. He himself has been known to be a great leader. And he hasn’t treated you with anything other than kindness and respect, has he?”

You cringed at the way Jin had phrased the question. Of course he had noticed the interactions between you and Prince Taehyung. The Crown Prince was admirable, friendly, and you liked him very much; but you had never been unfaithful to Jin. Nor did you ever want to. Just one look at Jin and no other man could compare. None could remain in your mind, not when Jin already had your heart. But your station forced you to listen to Jin’s words. It reminded you of your duty to your country. The position that you had been blessed with is one that made you act on the behalf of your people at all times, even at the cost of your own feelings. An alliance with Prince Taehyung would mean saving thousands of lives. The lives of your people. It could mean Jin’s life.

“No, he hasn’t.” You whispered brokenly.

[lindoig5]

Tuesday Day 19 (25 February)  Farewell to Antarctica!

It was a really big day!

We woke to a sea of glass, about as smooth as any patch of sea I have ever seen.  It was punctuated by thousands of small bergie-bits and growlers (those who read my previous blog might recall the definition of icebergs, bergie-bits and growlers) but with not a ripple anywhere ahead of our bow wave. You could not imagine a starker contrast with the seas we have experienced in the past few days.  And the temperature didn’t have minus in front of it for the first time in over a week – it was 0.0 degrees, but it was back at minus 5 within a matter of an hour or so.  It actually reached (+)2.1 degrees a little later in the day, but that didn’t last long either.

It puzzles me how the simple absence of wind for a few hours can utterly erase 8 metre swells.  After some of the wild weather we have had, it was quite extraordinary.  Unfortunately, it was destined to be a short-lived respite.

We had company for a short period around breakfast time when another very similar-sized ship cruised past heading further west, but it was out of sight within half an hour or so. I had seen a light on the horizon when I attended the call of nature around 3am and it was definitely not a bird or a plane and no way Superman would be flying around down here in his skimpy little togs.  I was pretty sure it wasn’t coming from a bushfire or the lights of a settlement so a light on a ship was really the only possible source.  It passed us on the starboard side as we headed east so for 10 or 15 minutes, we were not the southernmost ship on the planet.  We promptly resumed that unique status for several more hours, but by late afternoon, we had moved far enough north to be unsure if there were other more southerly ships somewhere else around the great white continent.

The Expedition team went out in a zodiac to see if there was a place to land and radioed back that there was only one place and that it would be a difficult wet landing for those that wanted to visit Borchgrevink’s Hut and the dilapidated ruin of yet another Scott Hut – both of which were right in the middle of a huge Adelie colony.

Cape Adare was redolent (really very, very redolent) with a decades’, centuries’ or millennia accumulation of penguin poo!  It really was awful, pervading the whole ship, and it made me feel quite sick so we had no burning desire to experience it close up, but quite a few other hardy souls decided that they wanted to and got rigged up ready to go.  Unfortunately, less than half of them actually got ashore.  (Not sure if the other ship had had a permit to land, but they long since decided that the ice conditions made it too risky for them anyway.)  

Our team had found a very small gap in the ice and managed to land two zodiacs in extreme conditions but within a matter of a couple of minutes, before anyone from the second zodiac could even get to the Hut, the tide had turned, creating a lot of dangerous surf and moving an iceberg that threatened to prevent their evacuation.  There was an urgent recall to the ship and our dare-devil Russian zodiac driver and bosun, Yury (spelt Yuri in only one place I saw), raced in to try to rescue them.  

If they thought the landing was difficult, the return was far worse with ice moving into the landing area and waves surging and crashing all along the cape and the zodiac being very difficult to manoeuvre into a position where the intrepid/insane tourists could wade out and dive headfirst into the craft.  The zodiac had to reverse into a crack between big ice-blocks because there was no room to turn around.  Timing was crucial so as soon as one wave passed, the zodiac went in and as many as possible (3 or 4 only) leapt aboard and the zodiac shot out again before the next wave sank them all.

The first attempt was disastrous when Yury and his zodiac were comprehensively swamped by a big wave and he had to limp back to the ship very gingerly where they winched his craft aboard to drain it and make some repairs - and despatched him on rescue attempt number two in a different zodiac.  He had to time each attempt carefully and as many as could had to leap aboard and hang on for grim death (potentially literally) as he gunned it away again before the next wave hit.  All the time, three of the staff were chest/neck-deep in the freezing surf, trying to steady the zodiac as people waded out and leapt hopefully for safety.   It took five trips to get the 19 intrepid explorers and staff back on board, cold, wet and miserable, and the whole mission was aborted.

Yury is a complete cowboy and some people, including us, prefer to ride in someone else’s zodiac. The very first time we went in his zodiac, he rode high on a wave and crashed down the other side, badly shaking us all up and hurting a few backs.  I think he was cautioned over that ands ferried us around a little more circumspectly on other occasions, but when he was just killing time waiting for a full complement to be ready, he would gun his craft to the max and fly into a wave so the zodiac literally sailed way above the sea for several metres before slamming back to the surface.  Or he would surf along a wave and flip over the crest so the zodiac almost flipped over too.  And landings.....  One time he just gunned it at a kelp bed and put the whole craft up on the rocks, then spread himself out on the bow and posed for photos.  He should have been a jockey.  He is quite tiny, inches shorter than li’l ole me, but he certainly earned his pay that day.

Quite a few other people had been togged up in their landing gear and were disappointed that the operation had been called off but when they saw the conditions, I suspect their disappointment became heavily discounted.  To compensate for the inability to land, the crew took anyone who wanted on a zodiac cruise along the rookery area and quite a few went and saw some elephant seals on the beach.  We saw a couple too from the ship – but they just looked like big balloons of blubber – and we have had as good a view of them a couple of times before.  We stayed firmly on a now-shaky ship!  What did I say about a glassine sea less than two hours ago?  It is astounding how quickly wind, weather and ice conditions change down here.

Before leaving Antarctica, they offered everyone a chance to do the Polar Plunge.  Eleven people did it, but we chose not to.  We had intended doing it, but it was sprung on us on very short notice so we hadn’t psyched ourselves up to it - and the doctor had told me I shouldn’t do it anyway.  We had already done it in the northern hemisphere so it was less important for us to become bipolar!

It was with some regret that we sailed north and watched Antarctica sink slowly into the sea to our stern, but we could still see the mountain at Cape Adare for the next couple of hours.  Our Antarctic adventure had taken us to latitude 78 degrees 44 minutes south and to within 1353 kilometres of the South Pole.  It is actually not possible to get further south by ship - anyone wanting to get closer to the Pole needs to fly or walk.  No planes were available on the day and I certainly wasn’t interested in walking given the weather!  As a point of comparison, we got to 83 degrees north on our Svalbard expedition last year and were then only 600 km from the North Pole.

We had seen only a tiny part of Antarctica but we certainly experienced something very special that so few other people have had the chance to do.  It was very different from what we had expected, but I will probably expand a little on that at the end of the trip.  And we will be back, even if not to the Ross Sea. We are booked to visit the Peninsula and surrounds over Christmas/New Year 2021/22 and that promises to be quite a different Antarctic experience.

Another dose of wild weather hit very soon after leaving the Cape and it remained very wild for quite a few hours - back to the stereotypical extreme Antarctic maelstrom much as I described the first time we approached Inexpressible Island.  At the height of it, we were battling winds of 60 knots and the scene reverted to my perfect image of the rawness of Antarctica.

[ladymercytaylor]

All In - Chapter 3 (Joe Mazzello x Reader)

Chapter 3 everybody!!! If you like it please reblog (it would make my little heart so happy <3)  Summary: You and Joe were in a blissful relationship for 4 years. It seemed as though everything was perfect. You’d moved in together and all of your friends were taking bets on when he’d finally put a ring on your finger. That is until it all fell apart. Now, 1 year on you’re thrown together at a mutual friend’s wedding and it changes everything between you.  You can find the previous chapter HERE

Chapter 3 – 6 weeks

Joe woke up at 5.43 that morning. He tried desperately to get back to sleep, tossing and turning restlessly until he couldn’t handle lying in the dark anymore. Checking his phone he smiled as he saw a notification from Ben.

Benny-licious Good luck today, mate. Let me know how it goes, yeah?

“I’m freaking out, Ben!” Joe exclaimed into the microphone the second the ringing ended. “Wow, I’m so shocked” the Brit deadpanned, closing the lid of his laptop. “I can’t make a single decision!” Joe blabbered, “What do I wear? What do I say to her? What the fuck do I do if she tells me to leave her alone?” “Chill, mate, chill. You’re spiralling” Ben chuckled quietly into the phone, leaning against the cold glass of the train window. “And don’t wear a t-shirt” he added quickly. Joe paused. “Right. Right. Good call” he murmured, tossing the navy top he was holding haphazardly onto the floor. “Oh God, Ben, I think I’m having a heart attack” “Calm down, Joe. She’s your ex-girlfriend not a hit woman” Fluffy green trees whizzed by as the train sped out of the city. Ben waited carefully as Joe took a few steadying breaths on the other end. “Better?” he asked, pushing his sunglasses further up his nose to protect against the glare of the morning sun. “Marginally” Joe muttered begrudgingly, plopping down on the carpet. “I don’t think I can do this” he murmured, picking at a stray string on his pyjama pants. “Yes, you can” his best friend assured calmly. He flicked his hand through his blonde curls, pushing them back off his ears. “Chickening out isn’t going to solve anything. And need I remind you that last week you were adamant that you were going to get her back”

“Yeah but then you said she might be telling me to piss off for good!” Joe snapped back, falling dramatically onto his back. Ben huffed slightly on the other end. He hadn’t meant to sow the seeds of doubt in his friend’s mind. He really hadn’t. He just wanted to remind him that life wasn’t always what you were hoping. Ben had been picking up the pieces of Joe’s broken heart for the last year and he really didn’t fancy going through all that again because he got his hopes up.  “It’s going to be fine, Joe. Just breathe and calm down”  “Can you please just tell me what to wear?” the older man asked meekly, staring up at the ceiling. “Girls are always banging on about how well you dress” “I’m genuinely touched you said that. Always thought Gwil was the best dressed. Maybe Rami actually. Always looks very suave”  “Getting off topic, Ben” Joe chided and the blonde couldn’t help but roll his eyes.  “Just trying to distract you, Joe” he replied pointedly, shuffling in the uncomfortable seat. “White shirt, dark wash jeans and Vans. Enough that she knows you’ve put in effort but not so much that you look desperate. Which you are, but you don’t want her to know that” “I’m just feeling so supported, Ben” Joe muttered darkly but his friend just laughed quietly.  “You’ve got this, buddy. Just be your ever charming self and she’ll fall right back into your arms”

Flick had practically dragged you to elevator that warm Saturday morning. You’d been stalling (as was your habit when faced with a difficult decision) by rearranging the linen cupboard when she grabbed you by the arms and very unceremoniously dragged you out of the apartment. She’d even gone so far as to walk you to the bloody café, evidently afraid that you’d do a runner and stand Joe up. Despite everything he didn’t deserve that. You’d hoped to have a few minutes to collect yourself before Joe arrived, but evidently he’d decided to curb tradition and be early. He looked as handsome as ever in a plain white button down shirt and dark denim jeans, his hair set ablaze by the morning sun pouring in through the window. You did almost chicken out and turn around, but you knew you had to do this. If you were going to follow through with the pregnancy you had to start making the tough decisions. “Hi, Joe” you smiled as you weaved your way through the myriad of occupied tables to reach him. “Hi!” he exclaimed a little too loudly, going to stand up but then thinking better of it. As a result his knees crashed into the little wooden table. “Fuck, that was graceful” he grimaced, sitting back down with bright crimson cheeks. “I’m not the queen, Joe. Don’t have to bow” you teased as took the seat opposite him. “Ha ha, very funny” he mocked, settling back in his chair. “How’ve you been? I was so happy to hear from you” he grinned, shuffling nervously. “Uh, pretty good” you managed to stammer out, your heart thundering in your chest. You had planned to at least get coffee before you dropped the bomb on him, but his little hopeful face was making that so difficult. “How’ve you been?” “Busy, you know, work work work” he chuckled, running his hand over the back of his neck. “Oh, what was the thing you wanted to talk about?” Ah. No avoiding it then. “It can wait” you dismissed, waving your hand in an attempt to appear casual. But Joe saw right through that. “You look like you’re about to pass out. Just tell me, love. Get it over with” he shrugged, trying to hide how nervous he was. God he wanted to hear you say that you wanted to give your relationship another try. “I’m pregnant” you blurted out, Joe’s eyes widening in utter shock. That was not on his list of possible things to hear that day. “And you’re the dad” you continued, the words tumbling past your lips, “Obviously. I’m sure don’t need to remind you about the wedding” you chuckled nervously. “I – uh – I – oh my god” Joe stuttered and you panicked as you watched all the colour drain from his face as a sweat broke out across his brow. “Why don’t you grab some air and I’ll get us takeaways?” you offered quickly, desperate to avoid a full blown panic attack. “We can go for a walk instead” “Yeah – yeah okay” he murmured, his eyes a thousand miles away but he managed to make his way out of the café without fainting so you considered that a win.

“I just can’t believe it” was the only sentence that Joe had managed to string together since entering Central Park. You stayed quiet as you walked along, slowly sipping your iced (decaf) coffee. You knew he just needed some time to process it and you thought he was doing that like a champ. Hadn’t fainted, vomited or run away. Not that you were ever really worried that he would, but the reassurance was nice. “So….what happens now?” he asked as he surfaced from his inner monologue. “Well, I’ve decided I want to keep it” the tension that had been pulling at you for the last 2 weeks finally dissipated. There was no turning back from here. “Oh, wow” Joe breathed out, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. It was a lovely Saturday to be walking through Central Park. The sun was beaming down through the emerald green leaves leaving dabbled shadows on the stretches of lush green grass. Dozens of families milled around, some congregated on brightly coloured picnic blankets while others strolled aimlessly in the summer air. They all looked so blissfully happy that it was making your heart ache. There may be a baby in the future, but you weren’t lucky enough to get that whole picture. “Is it…okay with you if I keep it?” Joe immediately stopped dead in his tracks. You startled slightly, fearing anger but you were met with the comfort of Joe’s strong arms wrapping around you. After a moment of hesitation (during which Joe began to panic that he’d crossed a line) you snaked your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest. God how you’d missed this. His cologne was still the same, that warm, musk smell enveloping your face as you held him tight. “I’d support you no matter what, you know that” he whispered into your hair, pulling you even closer to him. “But I’m glad you’re going to keep it. Really fucking glad” “That’s really good to hear” you chuckled, a few tears staining his black top. “Wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do if you weren’t” “Consider it one less thing to worry about” he murmured. His heart was screaming at him as he reluctantly pulled away. Joe wanted nothing more than to hold you forever, but he knew he’d lost that privilege. “So, what do I do now?” he asked softly as the two of you continued your walk further into the park. “That’s really up to you” you shrugged, tossing your empty cup into a nearby bin. “I’m not putting any pressure on you. You can be involved as much or as little as you want. I just have one condition” “And that is?” “The level of involvement doesn’t waver” your heart was drumming against your ribcage. You knew this would be the hardest part. “This isn’t about just us anymore and the baby has to come first” Joe practically melted at your words. He always knew you’d be an amazing mum and here you were, only 6 weeks along and already the baby was your number one priority. “So if you say zero involvement now then that’s it, no changing your mind 8 months from now when the baby’s here and looking all cute and shit” a small chuckle bubbled up his throat, “and if you want 100% then you don’t get to ditch me when it’s 4 in the morning and the thing won’t stop screaming. Take all the time you need to think it over!” you added quickly, fearing you’d put too much pressure on him. “It’s a big decision so I’m not asking for an answer now. I’ve got a sonogram in 3 weeks, hopefully that’s enough time?” you offered, twisting your hands as you blabbered. Joe opened his mouth to try and calm you, but the loud ringing of your phone cut him off. “Sorry, just a sec” pulling your phone out of your pocket you sighed as you saw Flick’s ID on the screen. “What’s up, Flick?” “Hey, funny story, I was so busy pushing you out of the house this morning I forgot my keys. Normally I’d just wait for you but my shift starts in 45 minutes and the super isn’t answering” “Ah shit” you sighed, eyes straying to Joe before flicking back to the ground. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be there in 10” “I love you!” she shouted down the line as you ended the call. “I’m so sorry, Joe, I’ve got to go. Flick locked herself out and she’s going to be late for work” you groaned, shoving your phone angrily into your bag. “Just gimme a call when you’ve had enough time to think about it, okay?” you smiled, walking backwards away from him towards your place. He gave you a thumbs up and you couldn’t help but grin before turning on your heel and as you crossed the street. The clicking of the pedestrian signal punctuated the warm summer air and you stepped off the curb, only to hear the shrill ringing of your phone again. “Flick, I told you I’m coming!” you sighed as you pressed the screen to your ear. “I’m in” that was definitely not Flick’s voice. You stumbled over your feet slightly, nearly bumping into a businessman walking along side you. “Uh – are you sure?” you stammered and you could hear Joe chuckled softly on the end of the line. “100%” there wasn’t a single skerrick of hesitation in his voice. “We can talk about the finer details another time, I don’t want to overload you. But I’m all in”

Joe had been sat by his window for the last two hours, still in a state of abject shock. He’d held it together relatively well when he’d been with you, but now that he was all alone the gravity of the situation washed over him like a tidal wave leaving him stunned and panicking. This wasn’t how it was meant to go. Never in a million years did he imagine that those words would come out of your mouth when the two of you weren’t a couple. His stomach was twisting itself into knots as he played the afternoon over in his head again and again. If he hadn’t been such a moron a year ago things would be so different. You’d be in the apartment with him, stealing the covers every night and leaving your shoes all over the place. He’d always complained about that whenever he tripped over them in the night, but he found himself missing his morning obstacle course. He’d missed everything about you. The way your nose twitched when you lied. The way your fingers felt entwined with his. Everything. Joe sat there long enough that the afternoon sun slowly burnt away, fading into the gilded orange of sunset. The sky was painted purple and pink by the time he managed to sit up, a new thought twisting his lip into a smile. Despite everything that had happened – every mistake he’d ever made – he was getting one thing he’d always wanted. A family with you. 

That’s all for this week! Tune in next Wednesday for more!

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