#and that was only when i wasn't reading like I'd finish a good book and I'd imagine me in it kind of daydreaming
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Brain be flashing back to before YouTube existed and I wanted to listen to anime music, so I would get onto this website I don't remember the name of anymore (that I'm pretty sure still exists) and listen to stuff on repeat, even though it didn't have a repeat button.
But I only knew like, 2 songs on the website and they were both from Inuyasha, which is one of the reasons I like the ending song Everyheart by Boa so much as an adult.
This is such a big memory for me, but I can barely even remember what the other song was anymore. I just know I'd sit in the family computer room and play the song on endless repeat for hours on the weekend and just play solitaire while daydreaming to it.
And now that I say this outloud through text on here, why didn't my parents realize I had mental illness sooner?
#what even mental illness would this prove tho#it just doesn't sound healthy but i did this my ENTIRE LIFE#i think i did this when i was about 7 or 8 specifically this memory#because i was 8 in 2005 and that's when youtube came out and i know it was before then#but i would listen to music with headphones from a portable cd player or just a normal stereo cd player#and I'd just sit there for hours just daydreaming doing a puzzle or something similar#and that was only when i wasn't reading like I'd finish a good book and I'd imagine me in it kind of daydreaming#this seriously sounds like a warning sign of something specific but i have no clue what#but i had to be doing a puzzle or i couldn't focus i wore out all of my puzzles until i was 23 years old and moved out
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how to start reading again
from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.
start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.
don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.
go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.
remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)
analyse â or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.
read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.
finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter â and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.
try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.
forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.
remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!
stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.
#louisa-gc#academia#studyblr#aesthetic#book#books#reading#read#advice#help#university#study#uni#library#bibliophile#it girl#that girl#habits#booktok#booktube#bookstagram
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Sleep Talking
(Dedicated to my niece, who wakes me up weekly with very detailed sleep discussions about roblox)
Before Buck slept over for the first time, Tommy had given him a warning.
âSometimes I talk in my sleep,â he'd said. âIt's not always, and usually only when I'm overly tired or stressed, but... just in case, wanted you to know.â
He'd given Buck the option to change his mind. He could stay in the spare room, or go home if he wanted, but Buck simply pulled him closer and told him there was nowhere else he'd rather be than right here.
Nothing happened that first night, or the next time they slept together, or even the next time.
Buck was starting to wonder if this was something from Tommy's childhood. Something he'd grown out of a long time ago, he just didn't know it.
And that's when it happened.
âI don't want those teeth,â he'd mumbled out, pushing a hand out in front of him. âNo. Thank. You.â
He'd just gotten off a 48 that turned into a 52 and had barely gotten any sleep. He'd passed out as soon as his head hit the bed, and Buck sat up beside him, quietly reading a book with the lamp light on low.
Buck was a little startled at first, looking over at him with furrowed eyebrows. âWhat?�� he'd asked, thinking for a split second that Tommy had woken up with something to say.
But when he saw Tommy's eyes shut tight, his face scrunched up in that way it did when he was annoyed, Buck knew.
He was sleep talking.
So, Buck waited. He waited to see if Tommy had anything else to say.
A couple minutes went by, and Tommy's face relaxed again, so Buck went to turn back to his book, then-
âI'd rather die then get veneers.â
Okay, so maybe he wasn't done.
âI just don't like them,â he continued, again shoving his hand out like he was pushing something away. âTake it all. Not my pearly whites.â
Buck closed his book and laid it on the nightstand, shutting off the light and scooting further into bed. As he did, Tommy turned and immediately snuggled into his side, resting his head on Buck's chest. âI go home with all teeth,â he commanded.
Buck wrapped his arms around him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. âYou'll get to keep your teeth, Babe,â he whispered. âI promise.â
âHmph,â Tommy huffed. âGiddy up says the cowboy, I guess.â
Buck tried and failed to contain his laughter, but still he held Tommy closer as he drifted off to sleep himself. Luckily, he didn't mind the noise.
*****
âI don't care if she wants to go home. She is here, her leg is'a half mile down road. She going to hospital now stat!â
Tommy had mentioned having a difficult day at work. Buck was already at his place when he got home, food coming out of the oven and ready to eat as soon as Tommy showered and got changed.
They'd had a comfortably quiet dinner, Tommy mostly speaking about how good the food was, and asking Evan to please stay the night.
He didn't need to be convinced.
They'd fallen asleep with their naked bodies tangled together, too lazy to get out of bed and put anything back on.
If it wasn't for the fact Tommy was talking nearly directly in Buck's ear, he probably wouldn't have even woken up.
âLady, you don't have a leg to stand on. Literally. I'm takin' you to hospital and you get help with leg.â He moved his head as though he were turning to speak to someone else, âAnd help with brain,â he muttered.
Buck tried to unravel himself from Tommy. Get some distance between them so he could go back to sleep without Tommy talking right in his ear. But as soon as he moved, Tommy was rolling over and wiggling around until his head laid directly over Buck's stomach. âPeople are so stupid,â he whispered into Buck's bellybutton. âThis is a comfy sandwich though.â
*****
âEvan makes better casseroles than this.â
It was the middle of the day, and Tommy had fallen asleep on the couch. They'd spent thirty-six of the last forty-eight hours moving Buck's things into his place, and that was after Tommy had come off of a forty-eight hour shift. So, while Buck and Eddie finished eating lunch at the kitchen table, Tommy had decided to lie down and rest his eyes for a few minutes.
âThis casserole tastes like sewage.â
Eddie peered into the living room, then looked over at Buck, who was eating his sandwich like nothing was happening at all.
âWhat's he talking about?â Eddie asked.
Buck's eyebrows furrowed. âWhat? Who?â
âEvan uses chicken breast. So much better than this.â
Eddie waved in Tommy's direction. âCome on, Man!â
âOh! Yeah, he's just sleep talking. Does it when he's overly tired.â
âHe... He sleep talks about your casseroles?â
Buck smiled, nodding. âHe really likes them. You know, I wasn't sure if he was just telling me they were good to be nice, but he doesn't have a filter when he sleep talks so that's how I know.â
Eddie glanced at Tommy again. âDoes he ever sleep talk about me?â
Buck's posture straightened and he pursed his lips. âI can't break that trust, Eddie.â
âHe does!â Eddie exclaimed. âWhat's he say? Did he talk about Muay Thai? Because headbutting is an illegal move so technically he didn't win.â
âI said I can't break his trust,â Buck repeated, getting up to throw his trash away. âAlthough, if someone was losing so they made it look like they got headbutted... Well, I wouldn't know anything about it.â
âI knew it! Your man is such a sore loser, Buck.â Eddie got up and walked over to Tommy, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke. âI spent my day off unloading boxes for you,â he whispered over him. âI could have left you alone with Buck. Everyone else made excuses but I didn't.â
âOnly thing better than casserole is his soup,â Tommy said, one hand going to his stomach. âI call it sex soup, cause it goes down the throat 'n straight to my-"
âOkay,â Eddie grimaced, walking away. âI'm about to lose my lunch.â
âDid he mention sex soup?â Buck asked.
âMhm.â
Buck nodded. âAlways ends up there after casserole.â He shrugged, âIt is really good soup though.â
âUgh,â Eddie groaned. âI hate you both.â
*****
Buck learned over time that Tommy's sleep talking from being overly tired versus his sleep talking from being stressed were two very different things. Overly tired Tommy was funny, sarcastic, and a little bitchy. He was much like awake Tommy, things just made less sense and he had no filter whatsoever.
Stressed Tommy was like listening to the saddest, most angsty drama you've ever heard in your life.
âPlease,â he muttered out, sounding like he was on the verge of having a breakdown. âPlease, listen to me.â
Buck was mostly used to the sleep talking now, but the difference in Tommy's voice shook him awake. He knew Tommy had a bad day. It was the anniversary of his mom's death, which was already rough, but then his dad called and said he'd be coming into town. He expected Tommy to meet with him for lunch. When Tommy declined, there was a fight. Mostly on his dad's side, with Tommy sitting there and listening, becoming more and more disconnected with each word. His dad just kept going and going until Buck reached out for the phone, taking it from Tommy's hand and hanging up for him.
He'd gotten quiet after that. Withdrawn in a way Buck hadn't seen before. He was usually an open book about his life. He'd told Buck all the good and the bad, and there was a lot of bad, but something about the phone call was different.
âI don't want you,â Tommy groaned, his head moving left to right so quickly his neck made a popping sound. âI want...â his voice trailed off. Buck slowly lowered his arm over Tommy's waist, hoping that would help him rest, but it only seemed to stir him back up. His legs kicked out quickly as he turned onto his side, facing away from Buck. âYou don't listen to me!â he exclaimed. It made Buck's heart race a little. He never usually shouted when he was sleep talking.
âIt should have been you, not her!â
The next noise Tommy made sounded less human and more like a dog crying out in pain. His body thrashed out, his arm nearly smacking Buck on the chest.
âYou always hated me,â he said, quieter this time. âI see it in the mirror.â
That was all Buck could handle. He quickly sat up and turned the lamp on. âTommy,â he whispered. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him, but he knew that was probably the worst idea at this point.
âIt's not... It's not fair. It's not fair. I don't-â
âTommy!â
Tommy's eyes shot open as he sucked in a breath of air.
He blinked a few times, eyes darting around until he met Buck's.
âWas I..?â
Buck nodded. âI think it was a nightmare though. You- I couldn't touch you.â
Tommy looked so tired, his eyes struggling to stay open even as his chest heaved. âI'm sorry.â
âYou don't need to be sorry,â Buck replied, moving closer to Tommy now that he was awake. âI was just worried.â
âWas it... about him?â
âYeah, I- I think so.â
Tommy pulled Buck close, nearly wrapping their bodies together like a pretzel. âI really hate him, Evan,â he said, voice breaking as he settled his head into the crook of Buck's neck.
Buck ran his hand up and down Tommy's back. âI know you do, Baby. I know.â
*****
There was one conversation Tommy had in his sleep more than any other, and Buck never got tired of that one.
âHe's so pretty. Like a teapot.â
The things he called Buck were always different, but the overall message never changed.
âThis Evan, he is love my life.â
Buck grinned. He loved when Tommy missed a word here and there.
âNah, he won't bite you. Only me.â
Tommy let out an exasperated sigh before speaking again. âHe's my special on menu. I like him and me like peanut butter and jelly. Apple jelly, duh, are you crazy?â
Another sigh, and Tommy wiggled his legs a little. âI know you drive thru, I wants fries with that. He's my chicken nugget. Love my chicken nugget.â
Buck turned to his side, pressing his body against Tommy's and wrapping an arm around him. He pressed a kiss to the back of his head. âYour chicken nugget loves you too.â
#bucktommy#911#evan buckley#tommy kinard#eddie diaz#my niece will never know this exists but still it must be dedicated to her lmao
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Chapter 53 of human Bill Cipher not properly appreciating the fact that Mabel is his only friend on Earth:
Mabel has read a book about Bill's home dimension and is prepared to interrogate him all about where he comes from.
Bill is willing to do anything to avoid being interrogated.
(Featuring SEVEN illustrations, provided by đ MABEL đ)
####
Flatworld, from what Mabel had read, was probably literally the worst place to ever exist.Â
The book was a hundred pages of an old-fashioned formal-sounding super boring guy rambling on about the most egregiously evil society Mabel had ever had the horror of reading about.
Society consisted of a bunch of geometric shapesâwhich in concept sounded half nerdy and half adorableâbut they'd made a brutally oppressive government organized by quantity of sides, with infinite-sided circles at the top and three-sided triangles at the bottom, and one-sided linesâwomenâoppressed into near silence. Career options, educational opportunities, who you could love, were all determined by your sides. Irregular shapesâquadrilaterals that weren't squares, triangles that weren't equilateral, anyone with a side too long or too shortâwere presumed from birth to be criminally insane. Each generation had sons with one more side than their fatherâand they had to, because having higher-ranked sons was the only way families could climb out of poverty. When babies were born with too few or irregular sides, poor families abandoned themâor worseâand rich families put them through oft-fatal bone-snapping surgeries to regularize or increase their sides. Knowledge of the third dimension was considered heretical, and anybody claiming it was real was locked in an insane asylum.
There was a lot of mathy stuff in the book about a square meeting a magical sphere and going on educational adventures to the higher and lower dimensions; but most of it passed by her in a blur. When she'd finished reading last night, Mabel had lay in bed for an hour, staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about dead baby shapes and fighting the urge to wake Bill up just so she could hug him; until she'd finally drifted off and woken up in her own bed.
At least, thank goodness, the bit about banning colors so lower shapes couldn't contour themselves to look like higher shapes was false. But she was sure that at least part of the story was true. And it had happened to somebody she knew. It was a lot to process.
So she processed it the way she usually did the stories that weighed on her: by creating a self-insert and pulling out her art supplies.
####
"You're drawing fan art of Flatworld?" Bill asked warily.
"I wouldn't call it fan art. I'd say it's more of a... thoughtful artistic critique. I don't think I'm a 'fan' of the second dimension," Mabel said. "No offense."
"Sure."
Mabel had designed a shapesona of herself: a pink heart with a rainbow-colored outline, a big sparkly eye, and skinny black stick limbs like Bill's. If, as Bill had said, colors weren't illegal, she didn't see any reason she couldn't be rainbow. The heart shape was maybe unconventional, but Bill hadn't said she couldn't be a heart yet, so she was sticking with it for now.
She'd honestly expected Bill to come over and interrogate her about her creation long before now. Usually, when she was doing art and he was unoccupied, he was hovering right by her, examining her work and dropping hintsâsome more subtle than othersâthat she should draw him next. But she hadn't immediately noticed when he'd silently drifted into the room, and she wasn't sure how long he'd been there before speaking up. He was still leaning on the wall, arms crossed, watching askance from halfway across the living room as Mabel worked with her crayons, as if she were playing with a chemistry set and he was trying to figure out if she was building a bomb.
"Is Flatworld really about your world?" Mabel asked. "Did you tell Edward Bishop Bishop all that stuff? With the circles and all the laws about shapes and stuff?"
Bill mulled over the question, staring into space. Mabel had never seen his face look so inexpressive beforeâat least, not since his first night as a captive, after he'd gotten all the screaming out and had looked too exhausted to feel. "We talked," he conceded. "I'm surprised you got your hands on it. I suppose Stanford brought it up."
Something in the back of her mind pricked up defensivelyâwhat was that supposed to mean, he was surprised she got her hands on it?âbut she pushed it back down. "Yeah, he told me and Dipper about it when you guys got home yesterday," Mabel said. "But you brought it up to me first!"
"No I didn't. When?"
"A few weeks ago? You mentioned Edward Bishop Bishop."
"I don't remember that," Bill muttered. "I probably didn't think you'd make sense of it."
"Hey!"
"You didn't make sense of it! Ford had to tell you about it."
"Yeah, butâmean!" She shoved aside her drawing and started on another one, grumbling, "I could've made sense of it if I'd looked it up."
What was up with Bill today? He wasn't usually this much of a jerk. To her. Lately. Plus, she thought they'd really had a moment yesterday! But Bill had had a rough couple days. Maybe he was just tired and cranky.Â
A wiser person might just leave well enough alone. But a wiser person wasn't exploding in their brain with curiosity about just how bad Bill's life had really been. There was something itching at the back of her head, had been itching since she'd woken upâsomething about Bill, something important, she was sure of itâbut she couldn't quite put together what it was. She just needed to talk to Bill long enough to figure it out.
"So..." She glanced up from filling in a shape yellow, "were lines really executed if they didn't make noises all the time so everyone always knew where they were and they couldn't sneak up and stab anyone?"
Bill scoffed, rolling his eyes, as if the very idea was stupid. "It wasn't that extreme. Making a peace cry is like a human saying 'coming through' when they're trying to squeeze past somebody. Lines are just taught to do it in public because it's easier not to see a line, that's all."
"If they didn't, were they executed...?"
"No. They were just rude."
That was a relief. Mabel had been worried for her fellow ladies. She was plenty noisy, but she didn't think she could remember to make constant sound any time she was around other people. She turned back to coloring her newest drawing, but watched Bill out of the corner of her eye. "Is it true that rich people killed almost all of their babies by giving them surgery to break their sides?"
The corner of Bill's mouth curled in a sneer. "Do I look like a pediatric surgeon?"
"Um." Not a welcome question. She tried to backtrack to something softer. "So, in the second dimension, the outside of your body is just your outline and your guts are everything inside the outline, right?"
He gave her a wary look. "Yeah."
"So your bow tie is basically in your stomach."
Bill sucked in a deep breath; but quickly caved in to the need to be the most correct person in the room. "More like around my esophagus, but. Sure."
"So, where did you wear it when you were back in the second dimension? Was it on your side? Did you have to wear two so people could see them from both sidesâ"
"I didn't need a bow tie then."
Mabel stared at him. "What do you mean, you didn't 'need'Â it? What do you need it for now?"
Bill ignored the question. "You know, I didn't think Flatworld was an interesting enough book to deserve this much attention! Especially not from you. You like fun stories." It felt oddly like he was criticizing her for having read it.
"Wellâyeah, but it's about your home! That makes it fun!"
Bill raised his brows.
"Right? Doesn't it?"
"Kid." Bill laughed condescendingly. "Don't give me that. You read an entire book. In the summer. About math. With a downer ending where the narrator goes insane and gets locked up. That's some people's idea of a fun time, but I know it's not yours."
Maybe "fun" was the wrong wordâbut it was still important. She was glad she'd read it. She'd cared about it. She'd cared enough to know Bill was describing it wrong. "That's not what happened. The square got locked up because he kept telling everybody the third dimension's real."
"Like I said! He went insane!"
"But he's not insane. Everyone says he is, but he's right about the third dimension! It's everyone else who's stupid!"
"So what," Bill said. "The things he knows mean he'll never be able to see the world the way other shapes do, and no matter what he does he'll never be happy with his home. If that's not insanity, what is?"
Last year, she'd heard Bill agree when Gideon called him insane. She'd always wondered. "Is that why you're insane?"
Bill shot Mabel a furious look. That was the wrong thing to say. "Shooting Starâ"
(Oh no, she thought, he's using my full name.)
"âwhat's with the third degree." Bill crossed the room to lean on the other side of the table. He gave her the guarded glare of a guilty suspect facing down a cop in an interrogation roomâand trying to figure out whether he could kill the cop before he was stopped. "What do you think you're trying to dig up?"
"I'm not trying to 'dig up' anything," Mabel said. "I just want to learn more about you!"
"Oh yeah, I'm sure you do! Who doesn't wanna know all about me! And right after I trusted you yesterday! Do you think you're the first person to start digging into my history? 'Hey, does anyone know what made Bill Cipher so crazy'?" Bill laughed bitterly. " You're not even the first Pines to try it. Not even the second."
"That's not what I'm trying to do!" said Mabel, right before it dawned on her that that was exactly what she was trying to do.
"Right. I'm sure whatever you learn will make a nice two-page spread in Journal 5. Another secret you and Fordsy can add to your Mysteries, huh? Think he'll draw the dead babies?"
She thought back to Portlandâto asking Ford what had made Bill so awful. I think if anyoneâs ever had a chance of finding out what made him like he is, it might be you. Mabel shook her head. No. She didn't want to be that. "I'm not Grunkle Ford's spy, I'm your friend. I justâI just want to understand youâ"
"Yeah, and the 'friends' who understand you are the most dangerous kind." Bill laughed harshly. "Your uncle and brother couldn't figure me out! And Sixer's been trying for years! So what makes you think YOU can?"
He was calling her stupid. He'd been calling her stupid all day. That was why he was so surprised she'd read the book.
"Youâshut up!" She wadded up her latest drawing and flung it in Bill's face. (He snatched out of midair.) "All I did was read a book I thought was important to you, you jerk! I thought you'd like that!"
She hadn't meant for that waver to enter her voice. But she was exhausted from too little sleep and worrying about dead baby shapes and worrying about Bill's fear of death and worrying about what Ford had said about not giving Bill a second chance, and now Bill was being a jerk, and maybe he was just exhausted and upset too, but he was treating her like she was stupidâand there was that pathetic little waver.
But it made Bill pause in his onslaught; for a moment, he averted his gaze. Still, he said, "Maybe if you'd thought to askâ"
"You were asleep! I was being nice! And letting you sleep! In my bed!"
"Butâ"
"Just go away!" She pointed at the doorway.
Bill's face hardened again. "Fine!" He flung his hands in the air and stomped from the room. "Who wants to hang out with you when you're in such a bad mood, anyway."
Mabel glared at her stupid drawings so she didn't have to watch Bill's stupid back as he left.
Why had she bothered?
When Bill was out of sight, she dropped back onto her chair, pulled her sweater over her face, crossed her arms on the table, and buried her head in them.
####
Bill didn't think to smooth out the paper Mabel had flung at him until he was out of the room.
On one side she'd drawn Billâproperly triangularâwith an expression that he thought was supposed to be fear and on the other side several angry-looking shapes, pentagons and hexagons, colored gray and black, being led by a pale figure shaped like a human skull and wielding a scythe;Â and between them, a bright pink heart, standing in front of Bill protectively, hands on its "hips," glaring down the would-be assailants.
The corners of Bill's mouth sagged down.
####
The bell rang and the shapes began filing out of class, muttering to each other about how they thought they'd done on the test. As the triangle cheerfully left the room, the teacher caught him by the arm again to pull him over. "Just a minute," she said. "I want a word with you."
Oh, he bet she did. Breezily, he said, "Sure thing! What is it?"
"Who was the first triangular president?"
"Whâ Thâ" He spluttered indignantly. "There's been likeâseven of them."
"Nine. And I'm only asking about the first one."
"How should I know!"
"You knew an hour ago."
He sputtered again. "That wasâ That was a multiple choice test! And it was an hour closer to when I'd studied! And I can focus better in the classroom! You can't expect me to remember anything in the hallway. You're using intimidation tactics. How could anyone focus under these conditionsâ"
"I don't know what you're doing," the teacher said, "or how you're doing it. Maybe I never will. But..." She sighed, and the anger seemed to leak out of her, and that only made him more nervous. "But whatever you're doingâyou won't be able to do it forever. What will you do when you're out in the real world and you didn't learn anything in school?"
Her pity was worse than being hated had been. At least when he was hated, he knew she only looked down on him because she had something against him. What did he do with pity? With concerned warnings about the "real world"? He'd never heard anybody use the phrase "the real world" as anything but a threat. He hoped he was never out in the real world.
"Who cares! I'll never need any of this!" He should have shut up there. He didn't: "You're just jealous that me and my family make a million times more lying to everyone than you'll ever get trying to teach them the truth!"
His teacher gasped in shock; but before she could say anything, he was halfway down the hall with no intention of slowing down.
The next day, he stayed home, and his mom visited the principal. The day after that, he had a new teacher.
####
He was stupid. He knew that. He didn't know when he'd gotten stupidâif it was because he'd started touring so much and missing classes, or if he'd always been dumb and just didn't notice it before he registered just how often he was using his all-seeing eye to pick up answers that other kids couldn't see. It had crept up on him. But there it was. He was stupid, and he was too stupid to figure out what to do about it.
There was a big difference between being able to see everything, and actually knowing anything. And he might be all-seeing, but an idiot like him would never be all-knowing.
####
A trillion years later, he still didn't remember the name of the first triangular president. And look how far he'd gotten without it.
Lunch was toast and peanut butter. The toaster was the only source of heat he could use without having to ask his captors for access; and peanut butter and bread were the most nutritious foods he could reach without asking his captors to open a cabinet or fridge. He was sick of toast and peanut butter.
He wasn't about to ask Mabel to help him get lunch.
Well. He'd succeeded. He'd known just the right thing to say to get Mabel to lay off and drop the topic. Did he feel accomplished?
He stared out the window as he ateâthere were hazy gray clouds on the horizon, beyond the trees, slowly inching closerâand he tried not to look at the picture Mabel had flung at him.
####
Mabel felt dumb about being upset that Bill thought she was dumb.
Because of course he did. Sure, he liked her art and he liked dance music and games without rules; sure, he was a willing student when it came to stuff like making friendship bracelets or artistically mixing sprinkles; sure, he was a weirdo fun guy; but he was also a Smarty McSmartypants, just like Dipper or Ford. And Mabel was the Girl Dipper who brought home C's. And even a weirdo fun Smarty wouldn't want to hang out for long with someone who couldn't keep up with nerd talk. He probably just... put up with her for as long as he could stand pretending he took her seriously, but he'd finally lost his patience...
And shown his true, jerky colors again.
Maybe Ford and Dipper were right about him; maybe he couldn't really change.
Except... there was something he'd said. And right after I trusted you yesterday. When he'd cried in front of her. When he'd told her about his fear of death.
He was being a jerk because he thought she'd betrayed him. But by reading a book?! Why couldn't he ever just explain himself? Did he think whatever was bothering him was obvious, and she was stupid for not figuring it out?
Something she almost but didn't quite remember thudded like a drum inside her brain. Dum-dum-dum. Dum-dum-dome.
From the entryway, Bill called, "Hey, star girl. Iâ"
He stopped in the doorway. Mabel had taped 28 pieces of paper together, drawn on a door knob, written "DOOR" at the top, and taped it across the doorway into the living room. Irritably, Bill said, "It doesn't work like that. This is obviously paper."
"Bill," Mabel grumbled. "Go away."
"No. I'm gonna say something to you."
He didn't phrase that like he was giving her a choice in the matter; but all the same, she said, "I don't wanna hear it."
"You know that horror story about a bride with a velvet ribbon tied around her neck, and her head falls off and rolls down the stairs when her husband unties it?"
She did. She and Dipper had read a book of scary stories to each other on Halloween a few years ago while waiting for it to be late enough to go trick-or-treating. In spite of herself, he'd piqued her curiosity. She reluctantly turned to look at him. "Yeah? So?"
Bill was leaning in the doorway, head tilted against the doorframe so he could see Mabel around the paper door curtain. "That's why I wear a bow tie."
Mabel blinked. "Waitâif you didn't, your head would fall off? What part of you is your head? How did it come off? Were you decapitated? Did you get decapitated for knowing about the third dimensionâ?"
"It doesn't keep my head on; it keeps my skin on."
Mabel's nose wrinkled. "Gross! How?"
"Remember how you said my outline is my skin and all my organs are inside the outline," Bill said. "That didn't change when we left the second dimension! We had to get exoskeletons on our top and bottom sides so solids like you can't stick you fingers in our guts. My bow tie keeps it tied in place."
"Whoa." So that was why they hadn't seen Bill's organs before. "Do you ever take it off?"
"Mostly when I'm eating!" He knocked on the doorframe. "So can I come in now?"
Of course. He'd been using information to buy his way back into her good graces. (Noâthat was what somebody who didn't think Bill deserved a second chance would think. He was making up for earlier by answering one of her questions about him.)
She took a deep breath, turned to face Bill, and said, "You didn't talk to me like a friend earlier."
"Iâ" Bill grimaced, looked at the ceiling for help, and conceded, "I meanâIt's how I talk to my friends, but all right, I know you're not used to thatâ"
"Nobody should be used to that!" Mabel said. "What would Love Bunny say?"
"Whâ?! Iâ Thâ Youâ" His voice cracked as it jumped higher, "What do I care what a cartoon rabbit thinks aboutâ"
"What. Would. She. Say."
Bill's face screwed up in agony. He crossed his arms. "Ugh."
"Biiill?"
Eyes squeezed shut, Bill said, "She'd say my breath smells like I've been eating mean beans."
"Aaand?"
"I'm not going to say it. I won't say it."
"And you need to eat your nice rice!"
Bill let out a long, slow sigh.
"Say it!"
"This is my penance," Bill muttered toward his feet. "This is my penance. This is fair." He took a breath. "And... I need to eat my nice rice."
Mabel nodded. He'd confessed his sins.
"I think we're out of nice rice," Bill said, "but I've had the peanut butter of kindness and the toast of remorse. Good enough?"
She considered it. "Yeah. You can come in."
Bill batted aside the paper door curtain and ducked into the room.Â
He sat across the table from Mabel and set down the paper she'd chucked at him amongst her others. Mabel glanced at the drawing, embarrassed of it now; but Bill didn't say anything about it.
He just propped his cheek against his hand and started looking over her other art.
Mabel sat there with her hands under her legs, watching his spotlight eyes rove over the table, feeling like she was waiting for a teacher to grade a poster she'd made for class. He saw a stop sign red octagon in sunglasses that was labeled "Bill's parole officer" and snorted. She wasn't sure if it was an amused snort or a derogatory snort. His gaze stopped on her attempt to figure out how Flatworlder anatomy worked, and didn't move farther. She'd probably gotten everything wrong, hadn't she?
She couldn't stand waiting for him to pass judgment on her art. "You think they look dumb, don't you."
Bill took a moment to reply. He didn't look up from her drawings. "I don't think you're dumb, Shooting Star."
"You think I'm dumber than Dipper and Grunkle Ford."
Bill winced. "I don't." At her dubious look, Bill amended, "Only Stanford! And that barely counts, all humans are dumber than Stanford. It doesn't mean I think you're dumb-dumb"
"Could've fooled me," Mabel muttered.
"You bet! I'm good at fooling people. All I have to do is say things I don't mean that make people feel the way I want." His voice was flat and matter-of-fact. "I wanted you to feel like the conversation wasn't worth it. That's all."
She stared at him. "By letting me know you think I'm stupid?!" She chucked a crayon at his face. "You could have just told me you didn't want to talk about Flatworld!" Her voice was getting that stupid waver again. "If I'd known, I would have dropped it! I didn't want to upset you!"
"I wasn't upset, it's just a stupid thing to complain about! It's just a dumb book! It'dâit'd take a real loser to be bothered by talking about a dumb book! I'm not..." He sighed harshly. "I know you weren't trying to get on my nerves, kid. It'd mess up your sticker chart." (Mabel hadn't even realized he knew about her sticker chart.) Almost inaudibly, he added, "M'sorry."
She'd never heard him apologize before.
She let out a slow breath. "Biiill. I don't think you're a loser."
He muttered something she couldn't make out as he flipped his hood on and pulled it down over his burning face. "Forget it. Move on. It's in the past!"
"If you're so embarrassedâ"
"Not embarrassed!"
She chucked another crayon at his chest. "Then why are you telling me this now?"
Bill shut his eyes; took a deep breath; and, with a look of solemn dignity, and no small amount of pain, he said, "Because. Teddy Tender says. Our friends can't help us feel better if we don't tell them why we feel bad." He almost, almost managed to say it without sounding sarcastic.
Mabel burst out laughing. Bill pulled his hood lower.
Bill didn't even like Teddy Tenderâhe thought he was the stick in the mud of the Color Crittersâand he certainly wasn't actually trying to follow Teddy's friendship lessons. He was just... saying something he didn't mean to make Mabel feel the way he wanted. And he wanted her to feel better.
No matter what anyone else said, he could change. And he was changing.
"Apology accepted," Mabel said. "Gold star!" She peeled one off a nearby sticker sheet and held it out.
Bill eyed it, like a man so hungry he was too nauseous to eat eyeing a pizza; and then snatched it from her and stuck it in the middle of his hoodie.
Mabel said, "And... I guess I'm sorry for getting all diggy about your home world." Even if she hadn't known it was bothering him, she probably should've guessed, shouldn't she? With how crabby he'd gotten. "I just got all excited and curious and... kinda worried about you after reading that book?" She sighed. "I understand if you don't wanna talk about it. You probably hated your dimension."
"What? He lurched forward with the vehemence of his denialâ"Of course I don't hate my dimension!" Mabel leaned away at the sudden rage that had flared up in his eyes; but it died just as quickly and Bill immediately reeled himself back in, sitting back, crossing his arms: "I mean, come on, kid, use your head: you read a book about a culture. We're talking about an entire dimension. Would you hold a grudge against Jupiter if an ant bit you on Earth?"
Even as casually as he played it off, Mabel was sure he hadn't meant anything as calm and measured as claiming it was technically irrational to hate an entire dimension. He meantâemphatically, with his whole heart behind itâthat he didn't hate his home dimension, at all.
Then why didn't he want to talk about it? (Then why had he destroyed it? Or was not hating it just another fiction he'd made up because he'd prefer that reality? Or was the destruction itself a lie? He hadn't mentioned it once since they'd started talking about Flatworld. Or did he think she didn't know about that and didn't want her to know? Or...)
Something had been churning in her subconscious since she woke up, and nowâwatching Bill ball up around himself as he squirmed around the things he didn't want to sayâit finally dawned on her. Two words. Another piece of the Axolotl's poem. She tried to hold the words in her head until she could write them down, repeating them over and overâMisses home. Misses home.
Quietly, she asked, "Then... don't you want to remember it?"
His face spasmed, like it was nearly cracking in twoâand then smoothed out. His face was blank. He didn't answer for a moment. "The last time I told a human more than two sentences about where I'm from... he gave me the universe's most depressing geometry textbook."
Oh. Maybe Bill was following Teddy Tender's friendship advice. "That's because you were talking to a boring old-timey math teacher, duh."
He laughed wryly. "You may have a point!"
If Bill assumed anybody prying into his history was either looking for the reason something was wrong with him, or publishing a whole book about the super bad parts... No wonder he hadn't wanted to talk to her. "So you didn't dislike Flatworld? You just dislike the book?"
Bill grimaced. "Did you read Eddie's biography?"
"No?"
####
As soon as he'd buckled himself into his seat for the drive to Northwest Manor, Dipper read the summary on the back cover of Flatworld, and then the paragraph-long author biography underneath it:
Edward B. Bishop, born in 1838 in England, was an accomplished mathematician, writer, theologian, and closet occultist, as well as a professor at the esteemed University of Fancyton. He published twelve books, the last of which was Flatworld in 1884. After sentencing his square protagonist to a two-dimensional asylum for preaching of the existence of the third dimension, he himself succumbed to an ironically similar fate: three months after publication, he was committed to an asylum for insisting that two-dimensional alien invaders intended to conquer the Earth and were persecuting him for revealing their existence, a delusion he maintained until his death from sleep deprivation in 1886. His most enduring legacy is inventing the margarita glass, which he claimed came to him in a dream.Â
Dipper hissed between his teeth. "Ouch."
####
"Never mind, don't worry about it," Bill said. "But no. I didn't like the book."
"You poor thing! All this time you've been homesick for the second dimension, but the only things humans talk about is the bad stuff!"
"Don't call me that."
"Do you want to talk about the non-depressy stuff instead? Like..." Mabel wracked her brain for something nice she'd read in the book. She winced. "Uh... I'm sure there's something. You could choose the topic?"
Bill didn't look directly at her. He just looked over all her drawings again. "Tell me why you want to know so badly."
It was basically the same question he'd asked earlierâwhat's with the third degreeâbut his tone was different. Mabel swallowed hard and repeated, "Because... I'm your friend. It's crazy that we've been friends for like a month and I barely know a-ny-thing about who you are or how you grew up! By now, I'd usually know about a friend's family, favorite subject, favorite animal, opinion on glitter, and biggest life dream! Plus all the stuff humans have in commonâlike, 'do you breathe?'"
This time, Bill didn't argue with her answer. (He could have called her a liar. A month ago, she had just been trying to find out what was wrong with him. But this version of the truth she'd made up was better.) "You already know I'm pro-glitter in all contexts and my life's work is to throw an eternal party. What else really matters?"
"Those are the two most important questions," Mabel said seriously. Tentatively, she asked, "Did you have glitter in the second dimension?" He'd already reassured her that they'd had color, but it was hard to imagine glitter in such a bleak world.
"Sure."
Mabel heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness."
She looked around at the morning's art production, pulled over the first drawing she'd done of her shapesona, and grabbed a bottle of glue to draw a thin line around the heart.
Bill watched as Mabel carefully sprinkled several separate colors of glitter on the line of glue, like a master chef adding a precise amount of spice to a gourmet recipe, to create a glitter rainbow gradient; and then he slowly sat up and leaned toward the table again. "So, who's this freak?"
Mabel gave him an exasperated look. She decided he'd meant "freak" neutrally; but she'd clearly labeled the heart "ME IN FLATWORLD," she thought it was pretty obvious who this freak was.
But Bill cheerfully went on, "He's the most hideously disfigured shape I've ever seen."
"Hey!"
"I'm not joking, it hurts to look at this guy. At least he's symmetrical, but woof."
"She's not a guy! She's supposed to be me in Flatworld," Mabel insisted. "She's a powerful lady and I think she's beautiful." She paused. "Can a heart be a girl?" Lines looked boring, but Flatworld said that girls were all lines and all other shapes were boys. (Or were they? When they'd talked at the mall, Bill had been very clear that he considered himself a triangle instead of male or female, which scuttled the "all polygons are male" concept. Maybe Edward Bishop Bishop had made that part up?)
"She can be anything she wants," Bill said firmly. "I don't see any gender cops around here, do you?"
Good point. "And when there's no cops around, anything's legal."
Bill laughed. "Hey, I like that."
"Grunkle Stan says it!"
"Wise man." Bill leaned forward further across the table and tapped a finger on the deep cleft at the top of the heart. "Personally, I'm more worried about that agonizing-looking birth defect. I'm surprised she survived past infancy!"
Mabel glared at him, but she supposed she couldn't argue. A heart was a pretty irregular shape. And according to Flatworld, almost all irregular shapes were executed in childhood or else imprisoned in adulthood, since they thought irregular shapes would grow up to be depraved, imbecilic criminalsâ
"Wait," Mabel said. "Wait. Last year, when I called you an isosceles freakâ"
Bill cut in, "It was 'monster,' but go on!"
"Was that, like..." Mabel's voice dropped to a whisper, "a slur on Flatworld?"
Bill fought to keep his face straight as he decided how to respond. He went for the funniest answer. "Yes."
Mabel clapped her hands over her mouth and squeaked, "Nooo!"
"It's actually pretty impressive a human managed to come up with it!"
"I'M SORRYYY, augh I didn't know!"
Over her anguished whines, Bill went on, "It's just a good thing you didn't say 'scalene'! I would've had to wash your mouth out with drain cleaner!"
Mabel had pulled the collar of her sweater over her face. From within Sweater Town, she asked, "Was that the first thing I ever said to you?"
Bill choked back a laugh. "Yeah, it was."
She squealed in embarrassment and slid under the table.
"Heck of a first impression, star girl!"
"i'm sorryyy."
Bill reached under the table to pat the top of her head. "Ahhh, it was funny. Get up here."Â
As she climbed back into her seat, Bill added, "I'm getting back at you now, I'm not done making fun of your medical miracle yet. You know what she'd look like as a human? A headless, neckless body with an eyeball shoved six inches down her esophagus." He paused thoughtfully. "Actually... that sounds kinda cute."
"Eww, Bill."
"It is, it's cute. Like a clumsy puppy with a neurological disorder! I guess that's how the hideous Miss Heart here must look to humans!"
Mabel looked over her art again, wondering if she should change her shapesona, considering Bill's reaction to it.Â
So, maybe she was creating a freak. She didn't see any shape cops around here. She kept drawing. "I'd be fine," she said. "You like weird freaks! You'd keep me safe."
A stricken look crossed his face. He was momentarily silent as he watched Mabel start another picture. And then, as though he were only considering it for the first time, he said, "Yeah. I guess I would."
His gaze drifted to the wrinkled picture of Mabel's shapesona standing protectively in front of Bill. "Freaks can't afford to tear each other down."
####
(THIS is the chapter that's been giving me hell the last few weeks. Months. Last few months. I'm so glad to finally have it out, and I hope y'all enjoyed!! This chapter probably brings up a lot more questions than it actually answersâand completely different questions based on whether or not you've read Flatland lolâso I can't wait to hear what y'all think.)
#bill cipher#human bill cipher#mabel pines#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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Hi đ I hope youâre doing well! This is soooo random and might not be much but may I request another roommate Carmy one-shot where he fixes something around the apartment and looks really hot while doing it? So, reader gets turned on and wants to show her appreciation for his handiness, meanwhile heâs like, Iâd fix anything for you. And things just get hot and heavy and maybe even kinda fluffy. Iâm just on a Carmy binge rn, and I loveeeee how you write him! đĽšâ¤ď¸
Hands On.
Synopsis - A broken lightbulb leads to some interesting discoveries for both you and Carmen.
Pairing - Roommate!Carmen Berzatto x Female Reader
Warnings - smut. cursing. carmen's big ego.
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 1.5k
Author's Note - thank you for this request!! another roommate!carmy fic <3 this takes place in the roommates universe, but it's up to you if it comes before or after the other fics - there's no timeline!! this one got a little filthy, actually. the roommate series seems to be getting dirtier and dirtier... i would apologise, but i'm not sorry.
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Series Masterlist. Masterlist. Inbox.
You're sat reading a book on your bed when the room is suddenly plunged into darkness.
You shriek in shock, and Carmy comes running, socked feet sliding on wooden floors through the apartment.
"Honey? You okay?"
He knocks twice before swinging the door open, looking around.
"Why are you sat in the dark?"
You huff and throw your book in his direction.
"I wasn't, until one second ago. The light just went off."
"Did it blow?"
"What?"
"Did it make a noise, when it went out? Did it flicker? Pop?"
"I don't know, Carm. It just kinda... went out."
He grabs his phone from his pocket to use as a flashlight, shining it at your overhead lamp.
"Looks like the bulb has blown. I think have a spare in the kitchen cabinet. Hold on."
He departs, leaving you sat on your bed, unable to see much. There's a warmth slowly building in your stomach, and you take a breath. Why are you so flushed, all of a sudden?
"Here. Got one. You think you can hold the light for me while I replace it?"
You nod and jump out of your spot, grabbing the phone from his hand. You point it towards the ceiling, watching as Carmy reaches up to unscrew the old bulb. His white t shirt rides up his stomach as he raises his arms, exposing his taut muscles. You exhale a shudder of a breath, willing yourself to calm down.
"Honey, can you stay a little more still please? The light is shaking."
"Sorry, Carm."
He winks at you before reaching up again, screwing in the new bulb. You can't stop staring at his arms, his strong biceps flexing as he works. His hands, big and rough, completely dwarf the little lightbulb. You know how those fingers feel as they brush across your skin. Little moments - like him skimming your back as he passes you in the kitchen - are imprinted in your mind, swirling around at a million miles per hour.
You're practically panting by the time he's finished, willing yourself to calm down.
"You okay, honey?"
You don't hear him. Instead, you're watching him run his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. You want to pull it as hard as he'll let you.
A hand on your shoulder startles you back to reality.
"You okay?"
You clear your throat, taking a deep breath.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Thank you, Carm. Don't know what I'd do without you. Seriously."
He chuckles, running his fingers up and down your arm.
"It's not a problem. I'd fix anything for you."
Your eyes shoot up from the floor to meet his, ocean blue irises focused on your face.
"...Really?"
He looks taken aback by your question.
"Yeah, really. You didn't know that? I'd do anything for you, sweetheart. Genuinely, anything."
You don't think before you move. You lunge forward and connect your lips to his, fingers tangling into his hair just like you imagined.
Carmy kisses you back with more passion than you expected, hands gripping at your hips to pull you flush against his body. He slips his tongue into your mouth as you happily let him take the lead, humming in contentment.
Eventually, you pull back, gasping for air. Carmy rests his forehead against yours, both of you catching your breath.
"What was that for?" he whispers.
"Just wanted to thank you."
"That was a hell of a thanks," he chuckles.
You smile, running your thumb across his cheek.
"You're so fucking hot when you fix stuff for me around the apartment."
"Wait... what?"
"Fuck, Carm. I got so turned on watching you drill that kitchen cabinet last week that I had to take a cold shower."
"That's what does it for you?"
"It's just you. You're good with your hands. It's fucking sexy."
"Yeah?"
He's smirking now, clearly enjoying having his ego inflated. You know you shouldn't, but you continue. You grab one of his hands, running your fingers over the palm.
"I imagine that my hands are yours when I touch myself."
He groans, low and rumbled.
"That's what I think about, Carm. At night, when I can't sleep. Think about the way you'd touch me, the way your hands would feel on my thighs, my tits, wrapped around my throat."
"Fuck."
"I'm surprised you haven't heard me. I try to be quiet, but I'm not very good at it."
Carmen's chest is heaving, eyes dark and watchful. You can see the thoughts forming in his head, filthy and menacing.
"Such a dirty fuckin' mouth," he drawls, running this thumb over your bottom lip carefully. "Maybe we should put it to better use, hmm?"
You whine at his tone, but you're smug on the inside. There he is, you think. The Carmen that you don't get to see very often. The version of him that's domineering, possessive, assertive. You like him like this.
"Wanna see how pretty you look on your knees for me."
You can't say no to that.
You sink down onto the carpet, looking up at him with wide eyes. He looks as if his control is wearing thin. You want it to snap.
"Now what?" you tease.
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Play innocent. Not after all that shit you just said."
You smirk, running your fingertips over the tent in his sweatpants. He grabs your wrist, holding it tightly.
"Don't fuckin' tease, honey. You and I both know I'm not patient."
"Something you should definitely work on," you wink, pulling his pants and underwear down his legs.
Your mouth waters as you look at him. He's pretty all over.
"Gonna thank you properly now," you murmur, before taking him in your mouth gently.
Carmy groans, hand flying to the back of your head. He tangles his fingers into your hair, keeping you anchored in front of him. He doesn't force you anywhere, just keeps you still.
"Goddamn, you look pretty with your mouth stuffed full of me," he drawls. "This what you wanted, baby?"
Baby. That's a new one. The nickname goes straight to your core, rubbing your thighs together to ease the ache. You nod in response to him, taking him deeper.
"Fuck. So perfect. Fuckin' made for me. Only me."
You nod again, reassuring him you've heard.
"Tell me, baby. Please. Use your words."
You release him with a pop, drool running down your chin and landing on your chest. You take a deep breath, licking your lips.
"I'm yours, Carm. Always have been. I'm yours. This pussy is yours."
You swear you see his knees buckle as he smirks down at you. He looks like the cat that got the cream.
"Gonna fuck you all over the apartment, baby. Every single surface. Doesn't matter if we break something. I'm good with my hands after all."
He winks at you before guiding himself back to your mouth, sinking down to the hilt. You hollow your cheeks and suck, trying not to smile when he practically whimpers. It's a power trip, having a man like Carmy at your mercy.
"Gonna cum down your pretty throat, angel."
You pull away to murmur against his skin.
"Want you to. Please, Carm. Wanna taste you. Wanna swallow it all."
He groans, deep and visceral, as you double down on your efforts, determined to get him to his ending. You dig your nails into his thighs, scratching down the skin as his hand tightens in your hair. The edge of pain is what undoes him, muscles tensing as he spills down your throat.
You catch his eyes, ensuring you have his attention. Swallowing carefully, you stick your tongue out, showing him proof of your promise.
"Good fuckin' girl," he breathes, dropping to his knees to connect your lips, languid and filthy.
Carmy smooths the hair back from your face, placing a tender kiss to your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, the corner of your mouth. Collapsing back against the bed, he pulls you with him, wrapping you in his arms.
"You okay?" he whispers into your ear.
"More than okay. You?"
"I've never been better."
You laugh, and the sound makes him grin, white and beaming.
The two of you sit on the floor for a while, unbothered by the passing of time. You're enjoying being so close, the proximity a welcome change. Eventually, Carmy breaks through the silence.
"So, I've been meaning to mount our TV on the wall... you wanna watch?"
You elbow him in the side, heat creeping up your cheeks as you both laugh.
DIY suddenly doesn't seem all that bad.
@dins-cyarika
#roommate!carmy berzatto x reader#roommate!carmen berzatto x reader#roommate!carmen berzatto#roommate!carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto imagine#carmen berzatto x reader smut#carmen berzatto smut#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto#the bear imagine#the bear smut#carmy berzatto imagine#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto smut#jeremy allen white#the bear x reader#carmy berzatto#carmy the bear#carmy x reader
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Ibiza -W2S
words: 1.2k+
warnings: alcohol consumption.
summary: you spend the day on a yacht while your boyfriend and his mates film hide & seek. You deal with his mean drunkenness. Then when you get back to the villa you take care of him.
notes: this is based off of this request!! I think drunk Harryâs hilariousđ. Donât forget to reblog! Enjoy this extra lone oneđâ¨
Liked by gkbarry_, ksi and 561,308 others
y/username: Ibiza 2024!đ´đšđşâď¸đ
Tagged: @wroetoshaw @behzingagram @faithloisak @taliamar @freyanightingale
-comments-
wroetoshaw: đĽđĽ
faithloisak: you cutie
taliamar: stunning girlđŤśđź
y/nfanpage21: pahaha the second picđ
user31096420: another iconic sidemen holiday
user91837410: she's so fit
A few days ago we arrived in Ibiza. It was initially just going to be the boys because they were planning a few sidemen videos. But they decided that there hasn't been a proper holiday with everyone for years since, Ethan and Faith had Olive, Me and Harry got married, as well as Simon and Talia so we cleared our schedules and booked tickets.
We're here for a week and plan on doing as much relaxing as we can but the boys still need to film their videos. Today they're filming a hide and seek on a huge yacht. We're all staying in a massive villa that's really close to the sea line. "Morning." Harry yawned. My sleepy face curved into a content smile. "Good morning." I whispered before kissing his soft lips. Harry wrapped his arms around my torso. "Do we have to get up?" He dug his head into my neck. "Yes Haz. The boats booked for eleven." I replied. He groaned.
Eventually I got him up and we began getting ready. I pulled on a bikini that wouldn't give me offensive tan lines, since I'm planning on laying in the sun all day. Then popped on a cute cover up. Once I'd sorted my hair and covered myself in suncream I headed downstairs where everyone was sat eating breakfast. I said "good morning." then grabbed a plate of fresh fruit along with a smoothie.
After breakfast we all collected the last of our things then just as the taxis pulled up we left. Harry helped Ethan get Olives stuff into the boot while I carried the baby for Faith while she clipped in the car seat. It's only a ten minute drive so we were soon being dropped off at the dock. The day before yesterday we spent a few hours on a smaller boat but today (since they're filming a video) the yacht is massive. The crew also flew in yesterday to film this video so they met us here.
We were told not to grab our things from the taxis because the staff on board would get it for us. When we got onto the yacht we were immediately given drinks and a quick toor. The woman brought us up some stairs. "And these are the tanning loungers." Me and the girls looked at each other with a smile. "This is where I'm going to be spending the rest of the day." Talia joked, but she was being fully serious and I felt exactly the same.
The boys wondered off to film the intro for the video and all four of us girls lay down on a lounger, while Olive slept next to Faith in a little travel cot under one of the large umbrellas. I chatted quietly with Talia, Freya started reading her book and Faith soaked up the sun. We could hear the boys screaming, shouting and laughing as they filmed. Vik was the seeker and wasn't doing the best job which was obvious from what we could see from the top deck, but I'm sure that will make the video even funnier.
Once Harry, Ethan and Josh had been found we caught them peering up at us quite a few times. "You all look like creeps you know!" I shouted. The girls laughed from beside me and the boys faces turned a bright shade of red. "You just look too good in that bikini babe!" Harry shouted back sarcastically. I smirked with a shake of my head. Then returned to tanning.
After almost three hours the boys finally finished filming so we had some lunch. As the day went on we jumped into the sea, played mafia and just sat around enjoying each other's company. Everyone began actually drinking as it started to get later. Accept me, Faith, JJ and Tobi because I had had like one or two but really couldn't be arsed with a hangover, Faith needed to look after Olive and JJ and Tobi don't drink.
y/username just posted a new story!
I sat next to Harry as he swayed back and forth slightly. "You alright?" I asked. He was clearly very drunk. "What? Oh. Shut up I'm fine." He replied. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. I looked around the group, all eyes on us. I burst into a fit of laughter. "Alright big man I think it's time you get to bed." I tried to help him stand. "No!" He shouted. I sighed tiredly. "Here. I'll help." Tobi got up from his seat. We decided to all call it a night so left the ship and got taxi's back to the villa.
"Here you go mate." JJ murmured as him and Tobi lay an almost asleep Harry on our bed. "Thanks boys." I smiled as they walked out with a quick "good night." I pulled Harry's clothes off, leaving him in just his boxers. Then I placed a glass of water on his nightstand, along with some paracetamol for his hangover. Thankfully Harry usually isn't physically sick when he has a hangover so there was no need for a bucket. After I took a quick shower I slipped into bed, next to him.
The next morning I got up decently early to make everyone breakfast. Faith was already downstairs since Olive had been awake for quite awhile and she didn't want to wake Ethan up since he was hungover and he woke up early yesterday for Olive. "Good morning you cutie." I greeted Olive in my high pitched baby voice, that seems to just appear whenever I'm around animals or babies. She giggled with the sweetest little smile.
"Morning." Faith also smiled as I sat down next to her on the couch. "So last night Harry seemed to be a little..." "mean." I finished her sentence. "Well yea." She breathed out a laugh. "He's a mean drunk. It really doesn't bother me to be honest. I find it hilarious." I chuckled. "I'm glad, I was a little concerned." "The first time we went out together it was a bit of a shock to the system but over the years I realised that it's just how he reacts to alcohol."
After a good chat with Faith I headed back upstairs to check on Harry. I slowly opened to door to see Harry front down on the bed with his face turned towards the door. I walked towards him and squatted in front of him. "Harry." I whispered as my hand gently stroked his face. He groaned. "Have some paracetamol love." I grabbed the pack from the nightstand. "My head hurts." He slowly opened one of his eyes. I smiled at him "I know. Sit up for me."
He pushed himself up and turned over so he was sitting against the headboard. He took the tablet along with almost the entire glass of water. "Was I mean?" He asked quietly. I laughed "Uhm... I've had much worse." He groaned as he covered his face with his hands. "Sorry." He mumbled. "Don't be. You were completely gone with the fairies." I said sarcastically. He chuckled but then winced, probably from the pounding headache. "Go back to sleep. I'll have breakfast downstairs when you're ready." I quickly pecked his forehead. "You're too good to me." He replied as he returned to his previous position.
#w2s#harry lewis#harry w2s#wrotoshaw#wroetoshaw#w2s x reader#w2s fic#w2s imagine#wroetoshaw x reader#wroetoshaw oneshot#harry lewis x reader#harry x reader#youtuber x reader#british youtubers#fanfic#image#oneshot#x fem!reader#x y/n#x you#x reader#ibiza#sidemen holiday#sidemen#instagram au#instagram
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White lies [S. R]
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
word count: 4.6k
summary: you meet Spencer thanks to a nice coincidence and you become recurring chess partners, but he leaves out a small detail
taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14
Spencer had come back to that park after a long time and, honestly, it was as quiet as he remembered it. He liked to sit there to read, watch the birds, listen to the trees hitting each other; just enjoy a moment of life. Matthew, a teenager he used to play chess with, sometimes kept him company, but he knew from his mother that he had sprained his ankle and could barely get out of his room, so those evenings it was just him and a couple of old men in a remote section of his favorite hangout.
The book he had in hand could have finished in less than ten minutes if he had wanted to, but it was one he had a particular interest in and so he was taking notes in a notebook by his side, lengthening his reading time. And besides, he had proposed to take things a little more calmly since the recovery of his leg, now that he could walk by himself, and that seemed to him a quite useful exercise.
The man was dimly aware that someone was sitting at the table next to his, but curiosity was not enough to force him to look away from the pages. It wasn't until after a while that he heard the characteristic sound of the chess pieces moving in the box that formed the board that he paid attention and noticed that the one who was settling there was a woman.
He tried not to look at you too much so as not to make you uncomfortable, but the quick scan he gave you only led him to the conclusion that you might be a college student and that you were very pretty. You were carefully arranging the pieces and once you finished, you looked around the whole park as if you were looking for something or someone, and then you took a pack of chocolates from your backpack and put it to the side of the board, somewhat disappointed that you hadn't found who you expected.
"Are you waiting for Matthew?" Spencer dared to ask. You were startled and had to ask him to repeat the question, a little afraid that a stranger had made such a pointed remark "I've seen him a couple of times eating those sweets and since he likes chess, I thought you were expecting him"
"Oh, you know him" you exclaimed, a little calmer. You were surprised by how observant the man had been, for a couple of random pieces of information had led him to the correct conclusion "I was his babysitter for a while and I ran into his mother the other day and she said he comes here in the evenings so I thought I'd come to see himâ
âToo bad, he has a sprained ankle,â he informed you, with a sad grin. âMaybe he'll be back in a week or two. I'm Spencer, by the way."
"Y/N" you introduced yourself, shaking the hand the man was offering you "So you guys are friends?"
"Sometimes I play with him"
"Huh yeah?"
"Yeah. He is very good"
âI taught him,â you said, quite proud of yourself, âI hated when he asked to watch TV, and I brought all kinds of board games over to his house, until finally chess captivated him. In those years he participated in school contests so I was excited to play with him "
âDid you win some?â
âI was undefeatedâ you exclaimed, even more proud of yourself and smiling wistfully âBut after a few years I gave it up. Matthew continued, so I thought it would be nice to dust myself off a bit,â you smiled.
You took a moment to look at the man, who might be only a few years older than you, and like him you were somewhat captivated. His long, wavy, golden hair gleamed in the sun and he seemed to wear clothes that were, if not expensive, then at least quite elegant. You looked at the stack of books and the notes scattered on the table with great interest, because frankly the only men who met all those characteristics used to be your grandfather's age and, although their talks were interesting, you couldn't get to think of them with anything more than tenderness. This person was different, almost like a sage out of a book.
You didn't know where you found the words to invite him to play with you and you didn't know why he agreed. He seemed busy when you arrived, which made you think that he might even be a teacher, but he stopped his activities to pay attention to you and that made you feel special.
"You like them? You can take some if you want. They were for Matty, but I'll buy him some more,â you said kindly, referring to the candies between you, to which Spencer nodded with a smile. You used to play with strangers all the time in that park, so you didn't think it was weird, but never one as handsome as the guy in front of you. You probably wouldn't even have dared to talk to him if he hadn't talked to you âWhite or black?â
âBlack,â Spencer replied. You thought that maybe he was just being chivalrous to you by letting you move first, but you were also overconfident in your abilities and thought that he might feel bad if you turned out to be better.
"I'm not very good, I have to admit" you blatantly lied.
"Relax, I'm not either" he also lied. But neither of you could notice it.
The way Spencer saw the situation, he had two options: the first, demonstrate his extraordinary intelligence by beating you with a couple of moves, or the second, which was to turn off his brain for a while to give yourself a chance and lengthen the game a bit. He knew that, if he took the first option, you would most likely just smile and flatter him like everyone else did, or you might even ask him how he had done that. But Spencer was sick of being treated like a genius, despite being one, and having that label branded in his mind every place he went. He loved to learn, teach and know as much as he could on all subjects and he wasn't one bit ashamed of the abilities his mother gave him at birth, but his short experience with women led him to deduce that he had a better chance of continuing to talk to you throughout the afternoon if he would just play a little silly and pretend not to know what he was doing. And he definitely wanted to be with you that day.
It had been a while, and at some point, you moved a bishop.
Check in 4 moves if Spencer moved the rook.
He moved a pawn, you took the pawn.
Bishop takes the pawn and check in 10 moves.
He moved the knight. You moved your queen
Rook takes queen then checkmate in 5 moves.
But Spencer ignored any of the logical options his brain was giving him. He was moving pieces wrong on purpose and moving another pair well just so he could enjoy your face of concentration and victorious smiles when you made a smart move that he could have foreseen from the start of the game. He analyzed your game, you attacked hard at first, you were impulsive, but at some point you changed your modus operandi to a more calculating and strategic one, your eyebrows gave you away when you were going to make an important play.
"Check" you muttered at some point. Spencer knew how to beat you, but, I repeat, he moved badly on purpose "And that's mate"
"Oh really?" he said, pretending to be puzzled.
"Yes, you left the way clear for my bishop" you explained, with a kind tone but also somewhat condescending. It didn't seem like you wanted to make fun of him, but rather you were looking for a way to make him see his mistake, without knowing that your companion knew exactly what he had done wrong.
"Oh, it's true"
"Either way it's fine, you played excellent" you exclaimed to comfort him, while you offered him a piece of candy and smiled broadly. Spencer looked at his phone, expecting to see a message from JJ saying there was a case to attend to, but he found nothing.
"A rematch?" he said, trying his luck, to which you answered yes quite happily.
Spencer won that game and it was inevitable for both of you to wish for another game just for the tiebreaker, with you crowning yourself the winner of the evening. Between movements you took the opportunity to look at him and you would lie when you said that your cheeks didnât feel hot from being in the presence of such a peculiar specimen. Most of the men around you behaved like cavemen, so being with someone that civilized was most pleasant.
âI have to go home, it's getting dark already,â you said, quite sad, after that third game. The candy had already run out and Spencer's book had been forgotten to the side, but you still didn't want to walk away with just the memory of those hazel eyes âBut if you're ever around again, we could play⌠if you want."
"I'd love to" he replied, sounding quite sincere.
Would it be too daring to ask for his number? What if it had just been a nice time that arose from a coincidence? You didn't want to spoil it, or scare him away, or anything like that.
You only said goodbye saying that you hoped to see him again and he said the same thing before the two of you went off on your own, fearing you would never see each other again.
After a few days you went back to the park hoping to meet him, but you were disappointed to see the empty spot. The process was repeated a couple of times and although you were carrying books to spend the afternoon, the chess board could never be missing from your bag, keeping the hope of finding him again. Time wasn't wasted after all, as you took the opportunity to continue your schoolwork outdoors, but it saddened you to think that you probably wouldn't see Spencer again, going so far as to regret not finding a way to contact him. But whoever perseveres, reaches, and you verified it when one afternoon you finally found him sitting at the same table as the first time.
âSpencer! What a joy to see you hereâ you greeted him casually, as if you hadn't been going to the park repeatedly just hoping to find him.
The man apologized to you saying that his work had kept him so busy that he hadn't even had time to stop by and when you asked what he did for a living you were met with an ambiguous answer that he held a position in a government office. Not a complete lie, but not the truth either.
That's how you kept finding him around to play with him, until at some point you barely paid attention to the board to give priority to the chat. Every time you saw each other you thought, without the slightest idea of the truth, that Spencer had been practicing to improve, because sometimes out of five games you only won two. But other days you might have a perfect streak that, while it made you feel happy, allowed you to comfort your friend a little.
You had started carrying different snacks to at some point find out which one was his favorite, which turned out to be the trail mix and, truth be told, it was something you expected, as if it fit perfectly with his personality. That's how you started carrying a pack of those whenever you could, alternating it with other kinds of more substantial snacks that Spencer loved.
So it was that, during the nearly two months that Matthew was unable to go to the park, you and Spencer kept each other company. You learned that he was an avid reader that, according to your first impression of him, he had taught a few classes, that he lived alone, loved classical music, was a big fan of science fiction and science in general, in short, he was a bit of a nerd. He was always telling you interesting facts that you couldn't even have imagined and you always listened very carefully.
One day you were concentrating on your next move when his voice interrupted you. It was a very beautiful afternoon and you had decided to put on light clothes that fluttered in the wind.
âI forgot to tell you. I brought you a bookâ was what he had said and from his brown leather briefcase he extracted a book with a faded cover that he handed over to you with great care.
âSylvia Plath?â you exclaimed with total emotion. You had talked about the interest you had in starting to read it in one of the last meetings, because considering Spencer a connoisseur of literature, he would probably know which book to start with "Where did you get it?"
"It was from my mother, but she won't mind if you read it"
You carefully caressed the back with your fingertips with the biggest smile on your face, feeling flushed at the obvious show of attention you were receiving.
"Thank you so much"
"It's no big deal"
"I'll give it back to you soon"
"Take the time you need" he exclaimed sweetly. He was wearing a gray knit vest and a black dot-patterned formal shirt, along with a brown tie. His hair framed his face and looked so soft it made you want to reach out and just stroke it. You had been so stunned watching him, wondering if he was a real man or not, until he reminded you that it was your turn.
You moved your queen. Check in 7 moves.
"Spencer, can I confess something to you?"
He moved his bishop. He is saved from check.
"Huh, yeah"
âThese last few weeks I have had a lot of fun. I really like being with youâ
He looked at you for a second, as if he was waiting for a but that never came. There was no but you just liked being with him. Reid didn't usually find many people who would enjoy his company without a work commitment involved and that you had said something like that made him feel a warmth in his heart that he couldn't describe.
"I just wanted to tell you that, no... I hope I wasn't weird"
"I like being with you, too," he exclaimed immediately, hoping you didn't get the wrong idea. "It's probably the most normal and quiet thing that happens during my week."
âYou've never told me what you do at work, is it paperwork and stuff? Bureaucratic processes?
âSomething like thatâ he lied âMost of the time it's stressful and very tiring. That's why I like coming here, with you, because it helps me relax. I used to play with a very dear friend, but I took a break because⌠I didn't feel like going back to it. But I have to admit that you are a wonderful player."
"I hope so. Because I'm about to beat youâ you smiled, moving another piece and putting the game in check again. Spencer always knew that he had to move to win, but again he made enough mistakes to get beaten by you. Once this happened, he took his king and handed it to you with a small smile, allowing your hands to touch.
It was already getting a bit dark and that was the signal for both of you to come home.
"You won 3 out of 4," he informed you, more cheerful than he was supposed to be. "Rematch tomorrow?"
âOf courseâ
One of you always asked that and in the same way the other always answered yes. Come to think of it, it was pretty funny that when you lost the next afternoon you won and vice versa, allowing the promise of a rematch to always hold.
"Do you live far from here?"
You knew, of course, that there was another question implicit in it. He not only wanted to know how far away your apartment was, but he wanted to know if he could walk you there. You'd never thought of the two of you hanging out outside of your afternoon game sessions, so you told him it was about a fifteen-minute walk away, and he naturally offered to walk you there.
"You're not a serial killer or anything like that, are you?" you joked, although a part of you said it to watch his reaction and detect (if possible) any sign of a lie.
âI'm not, but it's quite right that you doubt me,â he replied, as he packed his things into his briefcase, smiling slightly as if he hadn't been offended but rather admired by a good question âFrom any man, really, because the largest number of serial killers is concentrated in the United States and 95% of murderers worldwide are⌠well, men. Possibly this is due to the levels of testosterone and the social implications of masculinity that exist, this isnât counting the traumas that they may have developed during their lives. Speaking specifically of men with psychopathy, most of them are able to manipulate their chosen victims to gain their trust before harming them. Many murderers have been described as charming, an example of this is Ted Bundy, who even when he was arrested many women attended the trials with banners and self-declared his fans. A few years ago there was even a killer here in Virginia who would date young women and then kill them, because it was easier for him not to resist, but luckily he only took the lives of 3 women before he was caughtâ
Spencer wasn't even aware of the changes in expressions on your face until he looked at you, completely serious and doe-eyed.
"Should I be worried about the fact that you listed reasons why I shouldn't let you accompany me?"
âOh no, noâ he had probably scared you and it made him feel so sorry and silly âI just⌠like to read about it, I promise. In addition, I have a degree in psychology, sometimes we analyzed the profile of the murderers to understand their psyche. But if you don't want me to come with you, that's fine."
"I'll take the risk"
"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry"
"You didnât do it. It just wasn't such a convincing defenseâ you carefully reached out to grab his arm and encourage him to walk beside you, flashing him a sweet smile.
Spencer, still feeling guilty for having rambled on about psychopaths, walked by your side for a while, and until you started talking his mood improved. A lot of times your talks didn't have to do with anything scientific and focused more on pop culture stuff that Spencer was completely unaware of. But you never teased him, but little by little you started to explain to him the plot of different movies or celebrity gossip of the moment, which was very funny for him. Your vibrant personality had him completely fascinated.
"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" you said once you got to your building. They were nice condos that Spencer had seen before.
"If something unforeseen does not arise, yes"
"Thanks for joining me. And for not being a murderer tooâ you laughed, still in a joking mood, while he looked at the ground a little embarrassed.
"Your lack of confidence hurts me"
"Admit that it's your fault, Doctor Reid" taking advantage of the artificial height difference that standing a few steps higher than him gave you, you leaned over to hug him goodbye and he sighed deeply as he felt the softness of your body against his "I hope you're well. Rest"
"Bye," he breathed out softly, entranced by the sight of your kind eyes looking directly at him.
He went home wishing with all his might that the job in the unit would allow him to meet you, but unfortunately it didn't, and since the two of you still hadn't thought of exchanging numbers he didn't find a way to apologize to you. He went to the park for several days in a row, but he couldn't find you anywhere and he was afraid that you wouldn't want to see him again. Had he done something wrong? Had you really believed that he could be a criminal? He probably explained to you what FBI unit he worked for and all that weird stuff he was telling you would have started to make sense.
He had already given up hope just the day you were practically running to the park, your chessboard bouncing through your bag and your breathing heavy as a sign of your poor physical condition.
You expected him to be there even with your repeated absences and when you finally arrived you noticed that around your usual table was a small group of people. You didn't know what it could be so you decided to go look too and you were surprised to discover Matty, whom it was the first time you'd seen in months, playing with nothing more and nothing less than your game partner.Â
You knew Matty enjoyed playing fast chess, so a clock was sitting next to both of them, and Spencer seemed to be playing better than he ever had in his life. His eyes lasted a second to scan the positions of the pieces and another to move his own, without needing to make any effort to plan the right move.
Everyone around was impressed by the skill of the teenager and the man who, according to your deductions, had not played more than 15f minutes. After a couple more minutes Spencer smiled broadly and declared that the younger one was checkmated, drawing Matthew's complaint and collective applause for the feat.
"The boy is good, but not as good as him" an old man informed you, who apparently knew the development of these games very well.
Spencer enjoyed the cheers rather modestly for a moment, but when he caught sight of you watching him from the crowd he went completely pale.
"Hello," he hurried to greet you, getting up from his seat to approach you and causing the fan group to break up "You came."
"Yeah, I've been kind of busy with college," you sincerely apologized, letting him envelop you in a hug that took you by surprise.
"I'm glad to see you"
"But what was all that about, by the way?"
"What was what?"
"Y/N!" said Matty, rushing over to greet you. "Do you guys know each other?"
"Yeah, I would say that" you clearly noticed the young man's intention to ask the story of that, but as soon as he opened his mouth you said something else: "But will you allow me to talk to him for a second? It's adult talk," you joked, trying to tease your little friend, and then walked a few steps away, taking Spencer with you. "Do you want to explain to me how you became a chess master during my three-day absence?"
"I don't... I don't know what you're talking about"
"I saw that! You beat him so fast and Matt is very good. Have you been letting me win all this time?â you asked with a frown. You didn't sound annoyed with him, but rather surprised, and when he pursed his lips and looked at you with those sad little eyes, you knew you were right âYou were lying to me! Why did you do that?â
"I didnât want to make you feel bad"
âI'm an adult, I can handle failureâ you argued. AÂ lie, but he didn't have to know that.
âIt's just that you⌠you looked so happy winning and I was happy to spend time with you and I figured if I played like that you'd start to get bored or think I'm a show-off. You didn't want to make a bad impression."
He had been cheating on you, yes, but now that he had explained his reasons, you thought they were really cute. Although you didn't like being treated with that kind of condescension, it would honestly have been foolish to bother you about something like that. They were just friendly games of chess, not a world championship.
"So all this time you were this clever?" you asked and he nodded sheepishly âAnd you still managed to lose?â
âIt's easy once you get the hang of it. If you know all the possible outcomes then you also know where you shouldn't move your pieces."
"I must have looked so stupid all this time"
"No, it's not like that" he hastened to say, while one of his hands went up to your elbow and gently held it "I didn't behave like that because I think you're stupid. I think you're very smart, actually."
"So you were just pretending so we could see each other in the evenings?"
No one had ever done that for you and now you weren't even offended by it anymore, you were, how shall I put it? Touched, perhaps.
"I thought if we didn't play chess there would be no other excuse for it"
A giggle escaped your lips and although at first he thought you were mocking, the truth was the opposite.
 âYou don't need to do that for us to be together, I could come to the park and just talk to you. I already told you, I like being with youâ you clarified.
You two were silent for a moment and although you were calm Spencer was fiddling with his hands, apparently uncomfortable.
"There's also something else I didn't tell you" you widened your eyes slightly, waiting for him to continue "Actually, I do work for the government, but I work for the FBI in the behavioral analysis unit, that's why sometimes I disappear for so many days orâŚ"
"That's why you know so much murder data" you hastened to say. Suddenly everything clicked together, like pieces in a puzzle "You're not a murderer, you catch murderers!â
âI'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want to scare you."
"Oh, and it was more convenient to let me think you're a psycho," you said sarcastically and only received another amused and sorry look "Any other secrets you want to share with me, Agent Reid?"
âAt the moment I only have that. But the afternoon is young, more things can come up with the passing of the hoursâ
You both laughed at the joke and Matthew's voice calling you snapped you out of your conversation. The teen demanded an explanation as to why his playmate and former babysitter seemed so trusting of each other, which Spencer probably hadn't explained to him yet.
"I just want to ask you one thing"
"And what is?"
âPlay a real game with me. No cheating, no tricks"
"Rematch?" he said, as was already your tradition, and you smiled widely.
You walked back to the table taking his arm and after summarizing a few months of history to Matthew the two of you finally got to play. Spencer beat you in less than 5 minutes, but the satisfaction you felt finding out that he was so smart, as well as handsome, was completely worth your loss.
You only managed to beat him after half a year, because from that moment on Spencer was so distracted by your face that it was hard for him to concentrate on the plays. And when you became his girlfriend, all you had to do was steal a few kisses from him to ensure your victory, which, honestly, didn't bother him in the least.
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#dr spencer reid#matthew gray gubler#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#jason gideon#JJ#penelope garcĂa#david rossi#emily prentiss#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff
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Heyy, I was thinking about a concept with Fyodor (or whoever from BSD) having a streamer bf, but like, one of -those- streamers where every word they say can be quite questionable (in a âgoodâ way/ironically). For some reason it amuses me to imagine it with Fyodor and Reader occasionally teasing him, calling him their âdiscord kittenâ or streaming for 5 hours (or more lol) saying nonsenses or playing video games instead of paying attention to Fyodor. What do you think?
âGet Off The Game âĄâ Ëâ BSD x GN!Reader ŕŠâŠâ§âË
â°â⤠Fyodor Dostoevsky, Dazai Osamu
Warnings;
Description; BSD men with a streamer!reader
A/n; these are in headcannon form, I hope that's alright!!! I think Dazai or Nikolai would be a better person to have this occupation w so I also did headcannons for one of them
Fyodor Dostoevsky â
⢠Fyodor thinks it's stupid at first, but when he realized you made money from it he learned to tolerate it. He wasn't too fond of the noise, though.
⢠I don't think he was too fond of the nickname 'discord kitten', always raising an eyebrow when he's called that, he also strongly dislikes brainrot cause what do you mean you're so sigma? No you're not, you're y/n. That's unrelated, but I thought I'd add that in there.
⢠"A discord what? Kitten? What even is that? I am nothing of the such."
⢠Catch him dead before he makes an appearance on camera, he much prefers to keep his business private. He doesn't mind you talking about him though, he loves that. He loves that people know you're already taken by him and that all those losers in your chat don't have a chance with you.
⢠Sometimes he'll watch your streams from a different room in attempt to understand your work and the art of gaming. He enjoys when you play horror games, especially the ones that get you thinking. He sometimes finds your facial expressions when you get jumpscared funnier than anything else in the stream.
⢠When it comes to the duration of your streams, Fyodor can entertain himself for as long as you need him to, but he can't help but feel like he'd rather be spending that time with you every now and again.
⢠He usually just takes the time to work on his DOA stuff, and occasionally he'll get so lost in it that he doesn't even realized you've finished with your stream and whenever that happens, you make some tea and go to fetch him to spend some quality time together, whether it's you laying in his lap while you both read a book or having a conversation about whatever comes to mind
Dazai Osamu â
⢠Dazai is your #1 supporter since day one. There's a conversation going on about content creators? He's immediately bringing you up. You need new items for your set up? He's manifesting that said items go on sale ASAP!
⢠Oh my god, and he LOVES it when you get recognized in public. He's very prideful of you and likes that it's only him and a select group of people that get to see the real you outside of the camera frame.
⢠He, unlike Fyodor, does have an issue with the long hours, so he busies himself with the ADA and otherwise to keep himself from walking in and talking your ear off while you play your games for umpteen thousand people.
⢠He doesn't despise being called a discord kitten, but it does confuse him a little bit. But whatever, as long as you have 'my' in front of any name he doesn't care.
⢠Dazai watches your old streams when he's bored and can't help but giggle at the out of pocket or questionable things you say. He likes to watch the compilations of you on YouTube, too.
⢠Sometimes he'll quote you out of the blue.
⢠He doesn't like people trying to flirt with you or talk to you on the Internet as any partner wouldn't, so he is in the comment section of every post reading through individual comments. Type guy to see 'â¤ď¸âđĽâ¤ď¸âđĽâ¤ď¸âđĽ' comments on your posts and reply 'đ§Żđ§Żđ§Ż'
⢠All in all, Dazai is well received by your fanbase, especially the ones who don't try to romance you and are normal. They think he's funny and a good match for you.
A/n; I hope it wasn't to short!!! I thought it was a cutsey idea, I think Nikolai would be pretty similar to Dazai in this scemario.
#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd fanfic#bsd headcanons#fanfic#fanfiction#bsd fyodor#fyodor x reader#bungo stray dogs fyodor#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor bsd#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyodor x you#fyodor x y/n#dostoevsky bsd#bsd fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor#osamu dazai x you#dazai osamu x reader#osamu dazai x reader#bsd dazai osamu#dazai osamu#dazai bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai x reader#dazai osamu x you
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Steddie PJO AU Part One
One (1) person asked for this, and it was only after I told them I'd had an idea, so, like, fuck it we ball.
The parents of the various kids will be revealed as the series goes on, but I'll look forward to your guesses along the way!
Also, I haven't read the books in a hot fucking minute, but the trailer has had me in a chokehold. This is written more for fun than anything else, so just shut off your brain and enjoy the ride without thinking about accuracy. You'll love it, I promise!
As always, if you see any typos no you didn't ;)
---
With a low, frustrated growl, Eddie tears a page out of his notebook, crumples it into a ball, and throws it on the floor of his tent. All he gets for his troubles is another page of lyrics underneath the first that fail to actually do what he wants. "Fucking shit prophecy," he mutters, tearing that page out, too.
It hits the ground right as Chrissy pokes her head into the tent. She watches it bounce once before settling on the ground. "How's the songwriting?" she jokes, letting the tent's flap fall shut behind her.
"Bad," Eddie says, dropping the notebook and standing. He glares at the paper balls and kicks one away. "Just as bad as the prophecy itself."
"Aww, it's not that bad," Chrissy says, walking a little closer and playfully punching Eddie's arm. Her smile is bright enough to make Eddie feel like he needs sunglasses, and that isn't even because Chrissy's father is Apollo. That's just all her. "At least your prophecy doesn't promise, you know, horrible death."
Eddie scoffs, turning to look at Chrissy as he gestures at his Def Leppard shirt and torn jeans and chunky rings and general metalhead vibe. "Do I look like someone who should be getting that prophecy?" he asks.
He doesn't wait for her to answer before scrunching his face and reciting in a high, mocking voice, "You shall witness an unfair fight between land and sky where feathers with great reluctance fly. And as the sun is shining bright, you shall be swaying in the moon's sweet light."
By the time he's done, he's clasped his hands and held them up to his face with an exaggerated doe-eyed expression. Eddie drops it the moment he finishes, his nose scrunching in disgust as he rolls his eyes. "I have a reputation to uphold, Chrissy."
She doesn't take his complaints seriously. Instead, Chrissy rolls her eyes and sits on the edge of Eddie's cot. "Sure, sure, you're too cool for anything good to happen to you. Still, you might be better off if you didn't try turning that prophecy into something angry."
Eddie huffs, kicks another paper ball, and drops to a crouch next to the cot. After a few seconds, he begrudgingly admits, "Yeah, maybe."
Chrissy sympathetically pats his head, her touch warm and light, and smiles at him. "In other news, we've got another retrieval request for you," she says.
"Oh, boy, work."
"C'mon, you enjoy them," Chrissy says, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper. "A cyclops sighted some demigod kids running around with, well, she wasn't sure if he was also a demigod or not. But they won't be safe long when they're clustered together like that, so, go bring 'em back."
She passes Eddie the piece of paper and watches as he unfolds it and frowns at the two words written there: "Athens, Tennessee."
"Are you kidding me? That's so cliche," Eddie says.
"Yeah, but at least it's not California or something."
"Thank fuck for small miracles," Eddie mutters, folding up the paper again and shoving it into his pocket.
Looks like he's got packing to do.
The sun is shining, birds are tweeting, and a cool wind is blowing across the park. Steve lets out a slow breath, his shoulders starting to relax as he leans against a tree and watches Will and Lucas lay out a few blankets, Mike and Dustin get into an argument about the scale proportions of the Parthenon, and Max, Erica, and El throw a frisbee between them.
It's been a long month, one that seemed to be filled with more running and near-death experiences than they're used to. And they're used to a lot of running and near-death experiences.
So, taking a day to just relax in the park sounded great when El suggested it, but Steve had still hesitated. Who knows what could find them if they linger in a park too long. When he voiced these concerns, the kids just banded together to convince Steve, and he relented when they compromised on him bringing the nail bat along.
"Steve, do you wanna lay down?" Lucas asks, gesturing to the blankets. Will is already there, stretched out and smiling up at a rainbow stretching across the sky.
Steve joins them, pulls a Bluetooth speaker out of one of the backpacks holding the blankets down, and connects his phone. Music starts playing, and he sprawls across a blanket, pillowing his head on his arms and taking in the sunshine. "You know, this is nice," he says.
"Yeah. We should do this more often," Will whispers, nearly drowned out by the grass rustling in the breeze.
Between the breeze and the music, Steve starts to drift off, his breathing evening out as his mind wanders. He's half asleep when he hears Dustin shout, "It's a fucking one-to-one asshole!"
His words are quickly followed by Mike shouting back, "Who gives a shit?!"
Steve sighs and adds his own voice to the mix. "Stop fighting!"
"Yeah, guys, stop fighting," Max says, and Steve can imagine her tongue sticking out at them as he hears Erica snort.
"Oh, fuck you," Dustin shoots back.
"That's it!" Steve announces, sitting up and glaring at the kids. "Get over here."
His voice leaves no room for argument, and he'd feel bad at how the kids deflate if he didn't already know they're all menaces. Once he's got all seven kids on the blankets, he sighs and says, "Look, guys, let's not fight. How about we all just sit here for a bit, enjoy the breeze, and then we'll go get lunch."
The kids glance at each other, a silent conversation that Steve barely follows passing between them before Mike nods. "Yeah, sure, I guess."
"Great, now, just re--"
"Oh, how cute!"
The sudden, saccharine voice sets Steve's entire body on edge. He slowly looks over his shoulder, staring at the middle-aged woman smiling down at them. Something about her is familiarly off, but he tries to give her the benefit of the doubt. So, Steve flashes a charming smile and asks, "Hi, can I help you with something?"
The woman's smile turns a little sharp, and she shakes her head. "Oh, no, I just had to commend you on your ability to round up these kids like that," she explains.
Steve hums and pushes himself up, keeping a hold on his bat so he can rest the end on the ground and lean on it. He feels more than sees the kids start to shift until they're behind him. "Well, thanks. Did you want advice or something on caring for your own kids?" he asks.
She laughs, short and grating on Steve's ears, and then tilts her head not unlike a bird. "No, no. It's just impressive that you've managed to keep them alive for so long," she says, her voice distorting and becoming shriller as she speaks.
Yep. There it is.
"Wow, that's even faster than usual," Lucas says.
He's right, which just makes Steve even more upset. Can he not get more than fifteen minutes of peace? Can he not just lay back and enjoy the sunshine without worrying about some monster coming after his kids? Can he not fucking relax for once?
Steve feels the frustration build and build in his chest, crackling through him until he's ready to burst, and he stands up straighter. "I'll give you one warning," he says, his voice low as he watches feathers sprout from the woman's skin. "You walk away right now, and I won't beat the shit out of you."
The woman, who seems to be mostly bird by now and is probably a harpy, just laughs again, like Steve's told her the funniest joke she's ever heard. "You? Defeat me?" she asks, her eyes roaming over Steve before she laughs again. "I am worse than your nightmares. I have eaten more demigods than you can count. I have feasted on their screams and crunched their bones between my teeth, and I look forward to doing the same with these children. What could a lone son of some lesser god possibly do to stop me?"
From behind him, Steve hears a few of the kids inhale sharply, an almost sympathetic sound. "Well, she's done it now," Erica says.
"Yes. Steve is going to kill her," El agrees, her voice soft and brushing against Steve's ears like a tiny snake.
And yeah, they're right. Maybe Steve would have just beaten her unconscious and then gotten the hell out of dodge, but now she's threatened his kids. She's lost any chance at mercy from him.
With a twirl of his bat and a vicious grin, Steve rolls his shoulders back and says, "Wanna find out, overgrown chicken?" he asks.
He doesn't even bother waiting for an answer before swinging his bat, the nails dragging across the harpy's chest and ripping a shriek from her. Now that Steve is thinking about it, violence is also a great way to relieve stress, and he's certainly not going to look a gift harpy in the mouth.
----
If you'd like to be tagged in future parts, just let me know!
#steddie#percy jackson au#semi-divine steddie#that's the tag for this series btw#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#the party#stranger things#stranger things fic#my writing
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Hannibal NBC
THE SIMPLICITY THEY SHOULD HAVE: Will Graham x fem!reader
Summary: She liked watching Will do things he actually liked to do. Watching him sit on the floor working on those boat motors was the sight she wanted to see everyday.
Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I made while I wrote this short story.
So- I actually looked up an article about boat motors and about how to repair them, so I can describe it in a close-enough way, but in reality I've never seen a single boat motor in my life. So if it isn't desribed like it should be described - I'm sorry.
Warnings: references to Will's work, but surprisingly nothing more
â˘â˘â˘
She liked watching Will do things he actually liked to do. The things that made him relaxed, but entertained in a good way.
It didn't only give Will a peace of mind, it also made her feel a certain kind of calmness and safety she's never felt when Will was out working on a case, trying to get into people's minds.
Watching him sit on the floor working on those boat motors as the muscles around his eyes and mouth tensed up from concentration was the sight she wanted to see everyday. When he isn't thinking about anything gruesome, when he isn't scared of nightmares or for her safety, when he is home doing what he likes with all his dogs around him being lazy - that was the sight she liked, those were the happiest moments she had about Will.
It felt domestic. It felt normal.
It felt like something they should have everyday.
The simplicity of it was the thing what made it so special - because otherwise nothing about their relationship was simple.
She was lying on her stomach in their shared bed, keeping herself up on her elbows. She was supposed to be reading, so she can finally finish the book she has started months ago but couldn't find the time to finish because of all the crazy, abnormal things that had been going on. This was the only normal evening they've had in months, the only truly relaxing one, yet the book isn't the real entertainment.
Will on the other hand certainly is.
"It's not very nice to stare."
His voice is truly entertaining too, especially when it's calm, relaxed and slightly teasing.
"I never said I was a nice person." she said, not even trying to hide her smile.
"Really? I thought was dating a nice person." he didn't look up from his work, his hands were still moving the screwdriver he was holding, trying to get a stuck screw out.
"I can be nice." she started, feeling her heart flutter as she noticed how Will's curls were messier than usual - God, he looked cute. "Just not when I have such a handsome boyfriend to look at."
That made Will look up, finding her gaze and making eye contact, abandoning his work for a while. She almost giggled at how his cheeks turned into a slight pink shade at her compliment. She rarely saw Will blush, very rarely.
"Such a charmer."
"I try my best." she smirked. " 'Everything alright with the motor?"
"Yeah, the screw's stuck but it'll be fine." he looked down at the boat motor, then back at her. "So, you abandoned the book again."
"Yes." she answered shortly and then continued: "I found something much more entertaining."
"That's a very nice book." Will voice carried a teasing edge.
"Yeah, well I just decided to enjoy the moment." she lost the smirk and the teasing, and used a sincere smile and honesty instead. "We rarely have a calm evening these days. I'd rather spend it watch- admiring you and talking to you, than look at words my mind can't comprehend right now anyway."
Will lost the smirk too and the small, happy smile he sent her way was truly the cutest thing she's seen him do so far. It wasn't anything big, sure. It wasn't a surprise date, it wasn't a gift she wouldn't need anyway - it was something she really wanted to see: a honest smile. A smile what told her everything and a smile what didn't hold anything back. He was comfortable, well rested and happy - the only thing she wanted.
"Come here." he said those two words softly, there was nothing rude or demanding about it.
She got off the bed and walked toward him. When he patted the floor next to where he was sitting, she understood what he wanted. She sat down next to him and crossed her legs.
"Would you like to help me?"
It was rare that he asked for help - no matter the context.
He trusted her, he loved her - she was sure of that. For a second she was too scared to open her mouth and speak, not wanting to ruin the softness of the moment.
"Of course." she swallowed; she was unable to hold back a smile. "What are we doing?"
"We'll try to remove the propeller so we can replace it with a new one. Then we'll try to find out why the battery is dead and if the spark plug needs to be changed." he explained it slowly and patiently, taking a look at her face here and there, making sure she understands what he's saying. "Sounds good?"
"Yeah. How can I help?"
"If you could get this screw out so we can take the propeller off, that'd be awesome."
"I can try."
She took the screwdriver from him as he turned the boat motor towards her so she can get to work. The first time tried to remove it the screw didn't move at all. That's why the second time she tried it she used more force - and to her surprise the screw moved.
She looked up at Will for a second with a grin. "It looks like that's something only women can do."
"Right. Thanks." she could hear that he was smiling, his pride wasn't hurt like any other man's would be.
"What now?" she asked as she took off the propeller.
"Now we'll take a look at the spark plug..."
And Will started to explain everything. He told her how to take the spark plug out, he explained what the most common problems are that can kill the battery in seconds. He spoke and then let her do the work, praising her when she did something right and chuckling when she messed something up. He corrected her and then watched her work with a smile.
She had a feeling that he likes to explain it to her, he likes the thought that he can teach her something new what isn't criminal profiling or basic self defense stuff.
By the time the motor was taken apart her fingers felt numb and she felt herself getting tired. Will must've felt it too, because he took the wrench she had in her hand.
"Is that all?" she asked.
"No, but I think for today you've done enough."
"Enough good stuff?"
"You've done a wonderful job with this for a rookie." Will's smile was genuine - so was hers.
"Yeah, no surprise you're a teacher. You can explain how everything works really well." she rested her head on his shoulder and even if Will tensed up a little from the sudden affection, he didn't push her away - he pressed a soft, barely even a real kiss to the top of her head.
"I think you should go ahead and lie down. I'll join you in a second."
"No. I'll wait here with you."
And she waited.
She waited until he put the new propeller on. She watched as he checked on the oil. She watched as he started to clean up the mess - putting different tools into the toolbox and cleaning the floor with the rag he had close by.
At some point they changed their position. Maybe it was because of Will moving and turning while trying to not move to far away from her - she didn't know for sure. But she was hugging his shoulders from behind while she rested her chin in the crook of his neck and her legs were wrapped around his waist.
It was a comfortable position for her - and must have been a pretty uncomfortable one for Will.
But he didn't complain. Sometimes he brushed his hand along her shin or knee, or took one of her hands and held it. And it was Heaven.
She couldn't really believe in anything good in this world, not after she saw what the world is like and how bad it actually is. She saw it all through Will's work and night terrors - but one thing was for sure, in that moment she felt like they were both in Heaven. They were home, they were close, the dogs were lazily lying on the rug around them.
It felt safe.
It felt normal.
It felt nice.
"Sweetheart?" she was half asleep when Will finally spoke up, his voice wasn't more than a whisper.
"Yeah?"
"Let's go to bed, okay?"
"Sure." she answered, but stayed still for a moment. "Will?"
He hummed and she felt the noise go through his whole body.
"I like these evenings. The calm ones."
Will didn't say anything. He didn't have to. She knew he felt the same way. She knew it because he took her hand and pressed a kiss on it. She knew it because he carried her to bed. She knew it because that night he didn't wake up from a night terror.
She liked watching Will do things he actually liked to do. But she liked it more when he slept calmly.
#nbc hannibal#will graham deserves the world#hannibal#hannibal the series#will graham#will graham x reader#will graham x fem!reader
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Unwanted: Chapter 1, Unarmed - Pt. 2
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary:Â When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldnât be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings:Â (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Mild language, Bucky and Reader being Tolkien nerds, light fluff, mention of rabies (it's a super scary disease and we should all be vigilant, okay?!)
Word Count:Â 1.6k
Previously On...: You just had the pleasure of meeting the very handsome Bucky Barnes. Despite a little bit of awkwardness during your first encounter, you have a feeling your life is about to get a lot more interesting now that he's been introduced into it.
A/N:Â You know what? I said I wasn't going to do this, but I thought "fuck it!" and decided to post all of Chapter 1: Unarmed. My anxiety is too high to just sit on it. So, please enjoy Ch1. Pt2! Pts 3 & 4 to follow!
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist:Â (Please let me know if youâd like to be added!)Â @blackhawkfanatic
The next evening, you were making your way back to your suite after a productive, albeit exhausting, day in your lab. You were working on a crisis prediction real-time monitoring system to anticipate global threats. You were convinced it would allow the Avengers to respond to trouble faster, but perfecting the privacy algorithm had been an absolute pain in the ass, and you still hadn't gotten it quite right. Technically, you could have farmed the project off to a subordinate; hell, even a team of subordinates of a subordinate, but this was one of your pet projects and you insisted on being hands-on in its development.
You had your tablet open as you walked, chewing on your thumb and reviewing the dataset from the run of your latest algorithm model one more time. Closer, but not good enough. If you were going to convince Tony that this was a program worth implementing, especially at its projected cost, everything had to be perfect. "Damn it," you muttered to yourself.
You rounded the corner and ran smack into Bucky's chest, dropping your tablet and causing him to drop the three books he'd been holding under his remaining arm. "Oh, shit-- I'm so sorry," you uttered as you bent down to retrieve the dropped items. Bucky leaned down to assist you, but you waved him off.
"âS my fault; I've got it," you told him, piling up his books for him. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Bucky leaned up against the wall and chuckled while you stood up and handed the books back to him. "I doubt you could hurt me," he said, smiling softly. "No offense."
You let out a small laugh. "None taken." He was a super soldier, after all. Stealing a glance at book spines, you couldn't suppress the smile that crossed your face. "Lord of the Rings," you nodded appreciatively. "Have you read them before?"
Bucky looked down at the books tucked under his arm. "No, first time. I read The Hobbit back when it was first published in '37, but these didn't come out until after..." he trailed off, but you knew what he meant. After he'd been abducted and brainwashed, turned into a murderer.
You nodded in understanding. "I'm actually really excited for you," you told him. "What I wouldn't give to be able to read them again for the first time."
"You a Tolkien fan, then?" he asked you. When you nodded, he continued: "When I finish them, maybe we can talk about them sometime? Steve's not really into fantasy."
"Yeah, I'd like that," you said. "If you're interested, we could watch the movies. I'll warn you though; they're long as hell, but their masterpieces. I mean, they didn't need to turn The Hobbit into three separate films, but still, they'll blow your fucking mind."
Bucky ran his tongue over his lower lip and you couldn't help but follow the motion with your eyes. "That sounds like fun," he said, his eyes twinkling with... something. "Your place or mine?" Was he⌠flirting with you?
"How 'bout you finish the books first, then we'll talk logistics," you teased. "Hey, speaking of, what floor did they end up putting you on?"
"Um, this one, actually," he said, tilting his head toward a nearby door.
"No shit," you remarked, laughingly. "You must have done something to piss Rogers off, because he put you right across the hall from me."
Bucky looked down, scuffing the toe of his boot against the carpeting. "He said it was the quietest floor, thought I'd prefer that."
You pursed your lips, considering. "Yeah, that makes sense; it's just been me on this level for ages. It'll be nice to have some company for a change."
Bucky looked surprised. "Stark's kept you down here all by your lonesome? That doesn't seem very nice."
You shook your head and dismissed his concern with a wave. "Oh, no-- Tony hates that I still live down here, actually. He put in all new living quarters a few years back. Everyone migrated upstairs, but I was the only one who didn't want to move."
"Why's that?" Bucky asked, appearing genuinely interested.
"I've lived here since I graduated college," you admitted, "back when it was still just Stark Tower. When Tony relocated here from Malibu to rebrand it for the Avengers, he wanted to redo everything, which meant fancy new suites for everybody. But I love my rooms, so I asked to stay put. They've been my home for so long now and I guess I just like the stability, you know?"
Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "And Tony thinks highly enough of you that he let the blow to his ego slide?"
You raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I have enough dirt on him that he felt like he didn't have much of a choice." You snorted, not able to keep up the pretense. "No, but seriously, I know you and Tony have a complicated... history, but he's not a bad guy. Ego as tall as this Tower, yes, definitely, but he's also incredibly kind and generous. He paid for my entire college education-- undergrad, post-grad, doctorate. I owe everything I have to him."
Bucky shifted against the wall. "That is pretty generous. And he never expected anything from you in return?" He didn't say the words out loud, but the implication was there. Had you slept with Tony in exchange for your diplomas? The innuendo should have bothered you, but it had been posed to you so many times over the years, you'd stopped being offended by it. Before Pepper, Tony had had quite the reputation, after all, and an MIT education didnât exactly come cheap. Most people couldnât understand why he would offer a full ride to someone who, at the time, had been a complete stranger.
"Tony appreciates talent," you clarified. "When he finds it, he cultivates it, nourishes it, does everything he can to help it grow to its fullest potential. But he does like to get a return on his investments, and my skills have helped him make a lot of money." You shrugged your shoulders with a chuckle. "I love my job, I love the work we do, I love the stupid weirdo family we've built here, so I've always considered meeting Tony to be the best thing that ever happened to me. He's kind of like my own fairy godfather."
"So, what exactly does he have you do around here?" Bucky asked. "I know Steve said you did computer stuff, but you said it was an over-simplification."
You ran a hand up to rub the back of your neck while you considered your answer. How best to explain your position to someone who was born before the invention of the television? "Okay," you exhaled, "so, short answer is that I'm the CTO, the Chief Technology Officer, of Stark Industries and, under that, I run the Avengerâs Technology and Innovation Department. It's sort of our take on Research and Development. I've got a lab where I'm in charge of about 450 scientists, engineers, computer programmers, analysts, et. cetera. And our entire job is coming up with cool new ways of making things easier for the Avengers. Like, new features for suits, developing useful programs, coming up with new defenses and weapons, that kind of thing. And if we've got missions that require heavy computer- or tech-work, I come along for on-site support. I'm combat-trained and good with languages, so that comes in handy in the field. Thereâs probably a ton of field agents that could go in my place, but for Tony, itâs a matter of trust."
Bucky let out a low, appreciative whistle. "Damn. That's impressive. You're a little intimidating, you know that?"
Laughing, you tucked your tablet under your arm. "Please. I'm about as intimidating as a hamster." You paused to think. "Maybe a hamster with rabies, but still a hamster."
A series of beeps emanated from your tablet. As you pulled it out to check the alert, Bucky moved away from the wall. "I'm so sorry-- you were heading back to your room and I've basically been holding you hostage this entire time."
"Actually," you said, silencing the notification alarm that had distracted you, "That was just a reminder I set for myself to eat. Sometimes I lose track of time in the lab and completely forget to have dinner. Are you hungry? You could join me."
Bucky pulled his head back, regarding you as though he wasn't sure if you were serious.
"Or, if you don't want to, that's cool," you said quickly once you noticed his hesitation. "I mean, you wanted a quiet floor. Annoying neighbor is probably the last--"
"I'd love to," interrupted Bucky with a grin. "I'm just surprised someone like you would want to spend time with someone like me."
"Someone like me? Hey now, for all you know, I could be an absolute trash person," you teased, playfully punching him on the shoulder.
Bucky chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a newfound warmth. "Well, I highly doubt that, but I guess I'll find out soon enough."
"Don't say I didn't warn you when you do." You cocked your head toward the door to your room. "I'm going to change out of my work clothes. While I do, how about you decide what you're in the mood for, and we'll go from there. That sound good?" Bucky nodded as you let yourself into your room. The evening had taken an unexpected turn, but you found you were looking forward to spending more time in the company of Bucky Barnes.
<- Previous Part / Next Part ->
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes#mcu bucky barnes#james barnes#bucky x y/n
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BAD LIAR
â°ââ¤Â You love Harrison, but he gets on your nerves sometimes. You know you can't lie to him, but you can still get back at him in other ways...
Harrison Gray/f!Reader â˘Â rating: E (MDNI) â˘Â tags: Jealousy; Make-up Sex; Couple Arguments; Rough Kissing; Vaginal Sex; Riding; Dirty Talk; Swearing; Rough Sex; Creampie â˘Â wordcount: 2,405 â˘Â masterlist
Visions of Temptation 2024/KINKTOBERÂ DAY 5:Â Make-up Sex
"I told you already. Even if I didn't have my curse, I'd still see right through you. Because you're simply that bad of a liar."
The tiny gasp you let out only makes Harrison that much more amused. You feel the blood boiling in your veins, not even caring anymore if you're overreacting or not.
"I swear, this has nothing to do with you, Harry. I too like to drink strawberry milk sometimes, okay? It's as simple as that! I wanted to drink some so I got myself some. It was my strawberry milk. It wasn't strawberry milk I left for you because I'm too shy to tell you I got you a gift! Jeez!"
"I told you it's fine. I know how shy you can be when it comes to expressing your feelingsâŚ"
He pauses to take a sip - the last sip, precisely - of the glass before setting it down where you can see it.
The audacity.
"âŚSo now that you saw me enjoying your gift, we can close the topic if you want to. No need to get so worked up over it⌠though I'd admit, it's a good look on you."
You watch the empty glass in disbelief.
"âŚIt's sexy, even."
And in the next second, you simply storm out of the room.
***
Later that night, you enter the castle with your cheeks hurting from the big grin youâve been sporting for quite some time now. With a spring in your step, you walk into the foyer while still linking arms with Liam.
You caught a carriage ride back home together after you ran into him, as your late afternoon going out happened to coincide with him finishing his rehearsal at Scala. Spending some time with him was definitely better than sulking by yourself while browsing the marketplace, seeing how quickly and effortlessly he cheered you up with his bright and bubbly persona. You're not sure if he asked out of politeness or if he picked up the signs of you having a bad day that easily - great, not only are you a bad liar but it seems like you can't hide your feelings at all now - but it wasn't long before you were telling Liam all about your lovers' quarrel earlier that day.
Liam's initial reaction was to smile. Just a smile, not a mocking laugh that reminds you of a certain someone's relentless teasing. Then he made sure to comfort you about it, saying he understands why you're upset with Harry. He's a good friend of his, after all, he knew exactly what you're talking about.
Liam's magenta eyes lighted up for a second, like an imaginary pair of cat ears tingling in attention on the top of his head, with a new smile blooming on his face. A mischievous one this time. He told you he has a plan.
"We're hooooome!" Liam announces out loud, making sure the figure sitting with its back to the door is able to hear it. Of course, both you and Liam know who this is, but you pretend you don't.
"Oh, Harry, it's you!"
Turning to face you while still holding onto the book he's been reading while waiting for your arrival, you and Liam make sure he sees your linked arms just for a bit longer before you let go of each other. You approach first, resting your arms on the backrest of the sofa where Harrison is sitting and gushing about the fun time you had with Liam.
"âŚAnd then he looked down and saw he was still wearing those funny-looking medieval shoes from the rehearsal!"
"I can't believe you had to point them out to me⌠In my defense, Tom is absolutely working me to the bone these days! He's so excited for this new play we're putting on!"
"Who wouldn't be? When you told me about the plot of it, it got me all excited too! Can't believe I haven't seen this play before⌠I definitely have to come see it. Hey, Harry, you're coming too, aren't you?"
Between the animated gesturing of you and Liam, Harrison remains quiet and mostly still. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, tilting his head for a second as if he's been distracted until you spoke his name.
"Hm? Oh, sure. I'll be there."
"Yaaay!" You clap your hands, before turning your attention to Liam again, as he apologizes for having to leave the two of you so soon. He doesn't forget to say that he's going out early in the morning and probably won't be back till the end of the day. And you don't forget to show how much you're going to miss him, giving him a nice goodbye hug. Right in front of Harrison's eyes.
Once he's gone, you let out a sigh, but don't hurry to move your attention to Harry just yet, even as you walk past him on the sofa. This, however, leaves you wide open, as a pair of arms wraps around your waist in a flash, pulling you right into the lap of the cunning fox.
"Eeek! What's gotten into you, Harry?"
Up this close, reading Harrison's gaze is not hard, even while he's doing the same to you. It's rare to see him so unlike himself, but if there's one thing you know for sure, it's that this is the face of a man being jealous. You need no special abilities to tell this much.
"Nothing much. What's gotten into you? You seem to be in high spirits."
You scrunch your nose at him, opening your mouth to bite back⌠but you select your words carefully so as not to be caught telling a lie, answering the question with a question.
"Can't I be?"
"'Dunno. It's not the face of someone whose treat was stolen earlier."
It's tempting to break the intense eye contact with a roll of your eyes, but you hold back, even if his words provoke you to do just that.
"Oh, that? I got over it already! I'm not childishly stingy about getting my treats stolen, like a certain someone."
Ouch, that must have hurt. You worry about going too far, but you can't deny the amusement of getting back at him. Especially when you can bask in the results of your earlier performance being written across his face. Maybe your place is in Scala, after all.
His teal eyes shimmer with an unfamiliar light in them, and trying to figure it out makes you feel dizzy. In the next moment, it ceases mattering altogether, because both of you go in for a kiss at the same time.
It begins slowly despite the dramatic pause that preceded it, neither of you wanting to give in first. You let Harrison in your mouth, just to ambush him; wrapping your tongue around his, you turn the kiss into something rougher, and he doesn't back down to you in the slightest. The mass of frenzied energy inside you manifests in clinging to his arms, to his shoulders, tugging at his hair, at his clothing; you maintain your iron grip even as you notice you're disheveling his shirt at this point.
He is the first to withdraw, and despite looking slightly out of breath, he's still staring at you with the same look in his eyes, almost as if he's mad at you. Good, the feeling is mutual.
"Bedroom. Now."
Thank god he said it already.
Once you find yourself in private with Harrison, you know you will not hold back, and neither will he. It's a surprise that a mindful hand still reaches for the light switch, though it's hardly important for either of you right now. With the way you're set on your goal, bodies knowing the way, you hardly need to be able to use your vision at all.
"You're the worst. I'm so mad at you."
"No, you aren't."
Ignoring his words, you relish in the feeling of the naked torso you drag your fingernails down, once that shirt is finally gone. But you're after his belt next, even if Harrison's own hands are on the way.
He's got your skirt removed already, trying to distract you with a kiss while he removes your blouse next, but you refuse to lift your arms up - not until you claim the next article of clothing on him. He breaks the kiss and clicks his tongue, fed up and impatient. Not unlike you.
He easily finds your wrists and grabs them, backing you to the bed and pushing you down until your body hits the fluffy duvet. From there on, his plan seems to be holding your wrists in one hand above your head while he attempts to lift the hem of your blouse again with the other, but it proves hard with you squirming underneath him. You can't stop looking at the expression he makes, and you remember to use your strongest weapon, your tongue.
"You're pretty worked up, aren't you, Harry? Could it be that you really got jealous�"
He'd never confess to it straight up, so you can at least have your fun teasing him for a little longer.
"I didnât."
"Liar."
The growing need to kiss his puckering lower lip is what makes you give up on the undressing war, letting the piece of clothing be taken off of you and discarded somewhere on the floor, joining the pile that's already there. Harrison keeps the kiss short because there's still more he can take off of you.
"Yeah, that's what I am."
That's it? No "at least I know when to stop", anything? You lift your head up to catch him moving down on you and tugging at your underwear using his teeth, and the sight makes you forget about your grudge for a split second. Damn it, you want him so bad.
You know once he gets between your legs you'd be screaming with pleasure no matter how stubborn you are. But at least you want to be the one calling the shots while your anger still fuels your boldness. It takes a little bit of effort and a little bit of tongue down Harrison's throat, but at last, you manage to push him down the bed and turn the tables on him.
Once you're on top, you drag down his pants in a rush together with his underwear, letting his erection spring out in your awaiting hands. You rub the blunt head onto your drenched entrance, teasing him one last time before you gradually sink down on him. Though it lacks the usual gentleness Harry treats you with, always mindful of his own size, and the result has you cursing him.
"F-Fuck youâŚ"
"Yeah, it seems like you're trying to do that."
His big hands snake their way up your waist, already there to support you, and a part of you wants to smack them away and show him how well you can ride him without his aid. But you don't, despite yourself and despite the provoking words that his dirty mouth keeps on spilling.
You don't know what's to blame here, but the pleasure of becoming one with him grows tenfold under these circumstances. You need to keep going like you need air. Like it's the only way to channel the emotions rushing inside you right now. The only pause you're willing to take is to unclasp your bra and throw it down at Harrison.
He catches it, bringing it down to his lips for a second while flashing you another dirty look, before it ceases being of interest to him and he throws it away.
"You're-Â Haaah-Â You're seriously bad at this. Aren't you going to say something in defense?"
"I'm more interested in fucking you right now."
Your walls clench as you hear this, your body being way more honest than the words coming out of your mouth tonight, but it's hardly a surprise between the two of you.
"Since when did that become your priority? I thought you were having more fun teasing me?"
"Since yesterday. Remember when I commented on how sexy the look on your face is?"
The pace of your hips falters. Thinking about Harrison desiring you like this is, admittedly, hot, but it's his honesty that messes with your head here. As much as he uses his lies to his advantage, it seems like he can use honesty in just as dangerous ways.
Another lowering of your guard, and another chance for him to flip the two of you around.
Now that he's back on top, Harrison hooks your legs on the folds of his arms and it's your only sign to brace yourself for what's to come.
"Come on, say it. Say that you want me to fuck you. Or lie if you wish, I'm not stopping you."
You have to give up clutching your jaw the second Harrison starts pounding inside you in earnest, but the fear of him stopping is what makes you really say the words.
"Fuck me⌠Fuck me, please! More! Don't stop!"
"As you wish."
Unlike how talkative both you and Harrison have been so far, the following minutes are filled with nothing but moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin. When he leans over you, caging your body completely in his arms, you can't resist wrapping your own arms securely around his shoulders, afraid of him playing tricks on you again. Even if you know he won't. You need this so badly, and so does he.
"Harry⌠Harry, tell me you love meâŚ! Ngnnhh-I'm gonna-!"
"I love you. I love you so much."
"I love you too-Ahhhh-!"
Hot-white takes over your vision as Harrison's pace shatters, his thrusts deepening just as you reach your peak, milking him for everything he has. He keeps rutting inside you while he cums, his heavy pants muffled into the crook of your neck as he leaves open-mouthed kisses against your feverish skin. You hold him so tightly even after the strong climax relaxes its grip on you, as if wanting him to sink into your ribcage and completely become one with you.
The kiss the two of you share once you can find your breath again, or maybe even before that, is a sweet one, but the aftertaste of it promises another round of this. It seems like there are still some things you have to settle with Harrison.
Liam when he came up with the idea: Oh they're fucking fucking tonight!
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When You Touch Me Like That (Jake "Hangman" Seresin x fem!massage therapist reader)
Self indulgent maybe, but who wouldn't want to get there hands on this man!?
Your boyfriend visits you at work and suddenly can't get his mind of one specific thing.
Warnings: 18+ only content, established relationship, jealousy, inappropriate massage therapist behavior, consensual kink, sexy massage, happy ending, unprotected pinv, dirty talk, very hands on...
~~~
He had brought you lunch that day. That's how this all had started. He'd hung out in the front office, the girl working the front desk said you were finishing up with an appointment and that you'd be right out. So he'd hung out in the office and waited.
Not long after he heard a door close softly and another door close a moment later. He could hear water running for a long while and then a few minutes later you appeared.
"Jake!" Your face lit up when you saw him and it did his ego good. "What are you doing here?"
Jake was in civilian clothes; boots, jeans and a size too small t-shirt with Wayfairers hooked in the collar, "Out early today, knew who had a busy day soâŚ" He held up a to go bag from your favorite Deli
"God bless you." You walked straight up to him for a kiss and to retrieve your lunch.
"BLT with avocado and an egg, extra runny." He smiled as you took the bag from him to inspect, "Don't worry chips and salsa too."
By this point one of the other therapists had finished an appointment and was talking to the young lady she had been working on. The two of them and the front desk receptionist all seemed to be staring on in envy and Jake couldn't help but play it up a bit. Then he saw the man come down the hallway and walk up to you. He was an older man, definitly older than you, and Jake would guess older than himself as well.
"Thank's hon, amazing as always."
Jake watched him as he walked out the door, hackles raised.
"I'm sorry we're so busy, otherwise I'd say we could eat together." Your voice snapped him out of his murderous thoughts.
"I know darlin," He bent down to drop a kiss on your forehead, "Me and some of the guys are gonna meet up at O'hargens in a bit, I'll get some wings there."
"Day drinking on a weekday? Careful Lieuteant." You had given him a cheeky smile and one last kiss, "Thank you, I love you, have fun."
"Love you too, still want me to come over tonight?"
"Of course," You rolled your eyes a little but still smiled, "Don't get tou turnt up."
Jake smiled and slid his glasses on, "Please, Ferg is the one you gotta watch out for. I'm a boy scout."
Out in the parking lot Jake was still smiling. Until he saw the guy again.
Your appointment. He was sitting in his camaro with the top down and sweat already seeping through his shirt in the Pensacola sun.
Jake eyed the man as he walked to his truck and waited for him to pull out of the parking lot first. Jealousy wasn't something Jake dealt with often, only when it came to you. Mostly when someone was looking a little more than he cared for. Occasionally when Jake remembered that your job included touching people, specifically asshats like that guy.
The whole way to the bar Jake had been grinding his teeth, thinking about that guy and that he called you hon, apparently was a regular, and Jake was certain he wasn't getting regular massages for chronic back pain. Then somehow after a few beers with the boys from the squadron a wire had gotten crossed in his brain.
Which is how he ended up looking away from the game on tv and over to you where you were reading at the other end of the couch. "Darlin, would you give me a massage tonight?"
"Sure babe," You paused for a minute to finish a sentence in your book before looking up, "You sore or something?"
Your hands were amazing and you gave the best massages, Jake was lucky and he knew that. He had free access to you for every ache and pain a hard day of training or flying might cause.
Tonight though, that wasn't why he was asking. "No, not like that. Just... " Now that he'd started this he realized there was no good way to ask for what he wanted. "I mean, like, like a sexy massage."
You chuckled, you looked confused, but you gave him a smile. "Jake, what are you talking about?" As soon as the words left your mouth realization dawned on you, "Ohhh..." You looked him over carefully, "You mean like rub your back before we have sex?"
Jake dropped his head back against the couch, "Know what, don't worry about it, it was just a dumb idea anyway."
"What? No, babe" You scooted over to his side of the couch, "I think I'm just not understanding what you mean."
"Promise not to make fun of me?"
"I mean... no more than normal." You laughed but Jake accepted that answer with a sideways glance.
"So, I got a little jealous after leaving your work today, and then the more I thought about it..."
"Jake, you know when it comes to clients..."
"I know babe, that doesn't meen I don't...can't get Jealous." You both shared a knowing look, Jake was territorial to say the least. "Anyway I had a few drinks with the guys and I started thinking about something else..." When you didn't respond Jake took a deep breath and continued, "I mean like a happy ending kind of massage."
Now it was obvious you understood what he meant this time. You sat there, legs crossed on the couch next to him, and contemplated a few things. "Does that turn you on? Thinking about that."
"Apparently." Jake felt a little embarrassed and couldn't meet your eye.
"Since when?"
"I don't know, about 12:45 this afternoon."
That made her laugh a little, "Do you mean like role play? Or..."
Jake looked at her finally, "No, not like that. I just..." He looked at her hands and lost his train of thought.
"Jake," You brought his attention back and moved closer to him on the couch, now sitting on your knees with your elbow braced against the back of the seat. "You know how sometimes in bed... my brain kind of short circuts and I need something but can't get it out." When he continued to stare at the celining but nodded, you continued, "You make me slow down and take a minute, until I can tell you what I want." His eyes dart to yours and he nods again. "This is a time where you need to slow down and tell me what you want."
He sighed deeply and stared back at the football game, "It sounds stupid now that I'm trying to say it out loud."
You smiled, "I said the exact same thing the night I came back from my birthday party." You smirked when that brought his attention back, you could see him biting the inside of his cheek, "Remember how drunk and silly I sounded trying to explain to you what I wanted? Y'know the thing with the scarves and your..."
"Oh I remember." Jakes smirk doubled, relishing the tinge of pink in your cheeks.
"Well, that ended up not being stupid at all did it?" You asked as you moved to straddle his lap.
His hands grabbing your hips on reflex alone he grinned, "Definitly not stupid."
Your weight settled on his thighs you grinned back, "Now it's your turn, so spill."
~~~
Jake leaned against the door to your bedroom as he watched you change for bed. Nervous as he may be he still smirked to himself knowing full well if everything went well, you wouldn't need clothes to sleep in. "You're sure this isn'tâŚ" He momentarily trailed off as you shimmied out of your cut offs and did not replace them. "This isn't, like demeaning or objectifying or like, crossing some sort of boundary?"
You laughed and gave him a big bright smile as you crossed your bedroom to where he stood. "You know how I really," You ran your hands up his chest to wrap around his neck, "Really like when you come home in your uniform and let me⌠help you get undressed?"
He grinned and set his hands on your hips, "I do."
"Well, I think it's kinda like that." You scratched your nails over the back of his neck and smiled up at him.
Jake leaned down to kiss you, "You're amazing, y'know that right?"
"Mhmm," You grinned into the kiss and then pulled back the slightest bit, "Now, take your clothes off and get on the bed."
With a hint of a groan he pulled away, already turned on, "Yes ma'am."
When you came back from the bathroom with Jake's favorite lotion, which he denied to the bitter end, you found him face down in the middle of your bed, naked and tense. You couldn't help but giggle to yourself as you approached, "You look a little tense there lieutenant."
"Don't tease me darlin'." Jake grumbled into the pillow, arms folded beneath him.
As you climbed onto the bed and straddled his lower back, just as you normally did when you gave him a backrub, the thought occured to you that this was, actually, very different. Lotion in your hands you admired the expanse of muscle before you. "Thought that's what you wanted." You ignored his warning as you made the first firm stroke over his back, a palm on either side of his spine.
The muscles under your hands shivered and flexed and Hangman let out a groan, "Your hands are amazing."
Your cheeks flushed, you bit your lip as you worked over his lower back, up along his spine to his shoulders. You scooted back enough that you could dig your thumbs into the divots at the base of his spine.
Jake was always vocal in bed, but the way he groaned and ground his hips into the mattress emboldened you. You licked your lips and leaned down close, your chest pressed to his back as you whispered in his ear. "Feel good?"
"So fucking good." He groaned, face buried directly into the pillow, hips grinding more as you kissed and mouthed at his neck while your hands stroked over his bulging biceps.
How had you never done this before?
Bracing you hands against his shoulders you pushed yourself back up to a sitting position and began to work your way down his back. When you paused for more lotion you couldn't help but enjoy the way he fidgeted beneath you. LIke he was chasing after your hands, after your touch. You scooted back over his thighs and bit your lip, fighting back a grin as you swept your hands up his sides, strong fingers curling into his ribs and raking their way down over his waist and hips.
You continued down until you were at the backs of his thighs and then reversed direction and stroked over each of his glutes. His hips bucked into the mattress even as his muscles clenched under your touch, "Not that kind of massage darlin'."
You giggled as you drug your nails down over the small of his back and then over each ass cheek, "Maybe some other time."
Again, his hips rolled beneath you, but this time he chuckled. His voice muffled by the pillow he responded, "We'll see."
You continued to knead your way up his back so you could kiss and nip along his neck and shoulders, sucked his earlobe between your lips as moved one hand to stroke up and down the back of his neck before carding your fingers into his hair and massaging his scalp. While he continued to moan in to the pillow and writhe beneath you you smiled and whispered, "Roll over for me baby."
He moved so fast he nearly tipped you over.
You giggled as he steadied you by the hips only for you to swat his hands away, "No, touching."
Jake rolled his eyes, but let his hands settle plam down on the comforter. You purposefully moved to settle yourself over his lower abs, barely brushing his erection as you moved. He let out a long breath like it would help him keep his composure as your hands sarted back into his shoulders only from the front this time. Your thumbs tracing along his collar bone several times before you lifted one arm.
You moved it so his hand would rest on your shoulder as you massaged the muscles of his foream, his biceps and triceps and then back in long languid movements. You couldn't help but hum approvingly as the hand at you shoulder lazily moved to grip the back of you neck. Jakes thumb stroking over your pulse point in time with your massage.
You repeated the same with his other arm, your resolve to drag this out chipped slightly as he again took a gentle hold of your neck and caressed your skyrocketing pulse with the pad of a rough thumb.
"What happened to no touchin'?" Jake teased, his cocky tone a stark contrast to the half lidded eyes he gazed up at you with. Biting your lip you leaned forward, down, into the pressure of his thumb. His grip on your throat shiffting automatically as he held you.
After a brush of your lips over his, and the slight increase in pressure around your throat, you whispered, "Did I say that?"
He chuckled, squeezed your throat a little tighter as he kissed you, "You sure did."
"Oops." You winked at him as you easily broke his grip on your throat to pin his hand above his head.
Jake took the hint and brought his other up to join it, folding his hands behind his head and cursing under his breath when your hands began to work over his pecs. His hips jerked each time your thumbs would swipe over one of his erect nipples. "Fuck baby." His eyes were closed and the muscles under your hands flexed and tightened.
You couldn't help but lean down and lick over one and then suck, like he so often did to you. "Jesus, fuck..." A hand dug into your hair and clamped your mouth in place for a moment, urging you to continue licking and sucking at his nipple, biting it not so gently with your teeth before soothing the sting away with your tongue.
Then he was dragging you back up his body for a kiss. "No touching, remember?" You mumbled into his mouth.
He nearly growled at you in return, "I should have specified sweetheart, happy ending for me means I cum in your perfect, tight little pussy. Not all over my stomach." He kissed you again, his tongue sweeping through your mouth, his grip on your hair keeping your face smashed against his.
A giggle escaped, "This turning you on that much baby?" You pushed aside to kiss and lick your way down his neck, "I'm not even halfway done yet."
Jake spit out another, "Jesus Christ." As you licked over his opposite nipple and then began to trace the lines of his abs with your thumbs. You pushed back, over his cock, the feel of it hot and hard and oh so ready for you tempting, but you slid further, ignoring the way the his entire body rolled as you did so. His hand in your hair tightened quickly and then relaxed, like he caught himself.
You traded your thumbs for your tongue as you began to lick at the planes of his six pack, earning more cursing and another roll of his hips that had his cock pressing against your stomach. In response you moved to straddle one of his thighs and ground down against it, long and slow. Your wetness spreading over it as you finally, truly crossed over that line to make this way more than just a massage.
"Fuck, you're so damn wet darlin', I can feel it." His thigh flexed beneath you and his abs fluttered under your lips. He was not wrong, you were soaked, drenched, leaving a smear of arousal over his thigh. The coarse hair and thick muscle of it doing terrible things to your own self control.
"This the kind of massage you wanted Lieutenant?" Your own voice was breathy as you had made it to nip and kiss at his hip bone, your hips 'massaging' his thigh faster and harder.
"Yes, yeah baby, your hands," Which were currently occupied dragging your nails lighlty down his chest over and over, "Your mouth, fuck baby your pussy feels so good rubbin' on me like that." He thrust up against you again, chasing some sort of friction, some form of relief. His hands moved to the shoulders of your t-shirt. His t-shirt. "Take this shit off."
He drug the fabric off your body with no assistance from you and groaned when you shifted enough to let his cock brush against the soft, bare skin of your breast. WIth a long, wide lick you traced one side of the sharp cut v at his lower abdomen and he thrust against you again. When you moved, scrambled to settle on his other thigh and begin to give it the same treatment, you moved and licked another path up the opposite side of the v and Jake lifted his thigih slightly to add pressure.
"Need you to touch me darlin'." It almost sounded like there was a please at the end of that sentence that he couldn't quite bring himself to say outloud.
You smiled against his hp, "I am touching you babe." You registered the bolt of pleasure that shot through you before you really realized that it came from the harsh slap Hangman had laid across your ass.
You moaned and bucked forward, his thigh chasing you and causing you to hump aginst it even harder. "Smartass." He grumbled even as both hands settled on your ass to squeeze and caress the sting away. "Touch me."
The moan escaped without your permission and you realized you were going to cum. You were well and truly humping his thigh, riding it with your thighs spread wide and your clit rubbing over the muscle. "Oh shit, Jake, fuck..."
He realized too, one hand moving to grab yours and guiding you to his balls, "Go ahead sweetheart, cum for me, be a good girl and cum for me," His larger hand encouraged you to squeeze his balls, massage them the way he liked.
"You're supposed to...' A tremor cut your words off as the knot spun and spun low in your gut.
Jake chuckled, strangled as it was, "It's okay, you first then you can finish my massage, go ahead darlin', go ahead, that's right." He continued to encourage you as you chased your orgasm, riding his leg harder and faster, your grip on his balls tightening as the pleasure crashed into you.
Jakes free hand stroked over your back as you came down, soft and soothing even as his cock twitched with need in front of you.
"Jake..."
He smirked, "C'mere baby girl." He used the hand at your back to pull you up into a kiss while his other hand continued to hold yours around his balls. His fingers working with yours to roll and tug at them. Jake kissed you like he ate you out, his mouth wide and shoving his tongue deep, licking his way into every opening until you were even more of a moaning mess. "Need a minute?" He asked, voice a whisper when he finally pulled back.
You gave him a hallf giddy, hafl shy smile, "Why is this so hot?"
His smile grew, "I don't know, but I love that it got you off to baby." He kissed you again.
"Now it's your turn." You returned the kiss, "In this new fantasy of yours, how do I finish your little massage?" J
ake groaned, "Can I take back what I said earlier? About the roll play thing?" His smile was wide and happy but his green eyes were dark, pupils blown wide.
"Next time." You picked his lips.
He nodded, "Okay." He dropped his head back into the pillows and rolled his hips experimentlaly, smirking again when you shivered, "Want that wrecked little pussy to massage my cock baby. Grind on it like you did my leg, rub it real nice and firm. Want you to get off on it."
You bit your lip and hummed, slipped your hand away from his and his balls to drag a light finger up the length of him. "Thought you wanted to come inside me?"
"Oh, I'm gonna." He chuckled, deep and low in his chest, "You let me worry about that."
All you could do was whine in anticipation as you settled in place, your thighs wide over his hips as you lined up the hadrness of his cock between your lower lips and began to move. You were so sensitive and so wet that every inch of him was nearly too much. Forget that he wasn't even inside you.
All you were doing was rocking your hps, guiding your still trembling pussy from the base to the tip, pressing his cock between the two of you and biting your lip as the familiar sensation sitrred to life within you. You moved your hands to his torso, doing your best to move them like you had before. Slow, firm steady strokes meant to losen the muscle and drive him crazy at the same time.
Then Hangman began to match the motion of your hips with his own. An image flashed through your mind as his hips bucked up into yours, his abs contraciting under your touch with each snap of his hips. The idea of Jake on your table at work, the dim lights, the music, the incense and his skin warm and slick with oil. Your eyes fell closed. He would look so strained, like he was fighting to keep his composure, his control. He would have to keep quiet, you both would or someone would hear you.
It would be so unprofessional, but so hot. As a shiver skittered up your spine you leaned down, your hands sliding over his abs, brushing his nipples on the way up his hard chest. You placed your lips against his ear and tossed your earlier statement out the window. "I'm so embarrassed Lieutenant Seresin." You let out a shaky breath that was only slightly played up, "I don't..." You rocked your hips down hard, "I don't do this with clients, I don't know what came over me, you just... you just look so good, feel so good..."
"Holy fuck." Jakes hands dug into your hips and drug you down over his cock, hard. He swallowed audibly, "Oh sweetheart..." He stretched beneath you, fighting off a wave of pleasure, "Don't be embarrassed." He turned his head so he could mouth at your neck, "Can't help myself when you touch me, you make me so hard, so horny. You're such a good girl I know you don't do this for anyone but me do you?"
"Just you." Your hips stuttered and you wrapped your arms around his neck, "Nobdoy else, just you."
Jake growled, "You only get naked for me don't you?" He was thrusting up into in earnest now, sliding you back and forth over his cock, the head catching against your clit every so often causing you to whine. "You only touch me like this. You only get this needy for me."
"Fuck, yes just for you. I can't help it." "Neither can I sweeheart, can I have that pussy sweetheart? Your mouth feels so good, your hands feel so good, want to feel what that pussy can do."
You fought to keep up the act, "I shouldn't..."
His grip on you tightened, "Just for me darlin', it can be our little secret."
For whatever reason that gets you, so you push yourself up as much as you can and take him in your hand. Trying not to feel silly you stroke the length of him, "It's so big, and hard, it does look like it hurts."
You catch him grin and you know that even though he's nearly out of his mind with how bad he wants to fuck you, the line is cheesy and such a cheap porno thing to say but he loves it. "It hurts so bad baby, make it feel better for me, please sweetheart"
As soon as you nod he as you impaled on his cock and begins fucking up into you. The act was gone completely as he drags you down into an obscene kiss, "You're so fucking good to me baby." His hips are snapping into yours so hard and so fast, that he has to lock his arms around you to keep you in place, "You playing it up for me?"
You nod into his neck, words a mix of strgangled moans and syllables, "It, oh fuck Jake, I kind of like it."
"Damn baby," He grunts as he gives in and rolls you to your back, slamming into you, "Just for me? Just for me, right?"
Your eyes roll back in your head with the way his body and his words are overwhelming you, "Only you Jake, only you, only you..." Your mind shorts out, unable to say anything else as your nails dig into the muscles of his back, warm and smooth where you had stroked over them early, only now to claw deep red welts into him as you cum again with a straingled moan.
Jake has his face inches from yours, watching as you bounce and writhe beneath him and as your pussy clenches down on his cock and he feels the first wave of your orgasm hit he burries himelf deep and cries out your name. Over and over again between grunts and groans as he empties himself into you.
~
You can see the marks on his back from your spot in bed, your heart just now starting to slow, no longer pounding in your ears. You watch him at the sink where he rinises himself off quickly with the tap water as it warms. Not for the first time you wonder just how the fuck he is so good looking. Then when he catches you looking, his eyes dancing and his grin cocky but his overall expression goofy and satisfied you wonder how the fuck he is so in love with you. Jake gives you a wink as he tests the water and then dunks a rag under it.
When he comes back into the room to clean you up, it's a struggle to keep your eyes open as he works the rag over you. He takes longer than he needs, wiping down places where he never spilled a drop, just for the excuse to return a little bit of the favor. The hot towel and pressure of his hand soothing as it stroked over your hips and thighs before he dipped it between your legs.
With your eyes closed the kiss he drops against the dip of your hip makes you jump and he huffs out a warm laugh that slides over your skin.
"What?" You ask, voice barely a whisper.
"Just thinkin' how God damn lucky I am." He places another kiss an inch over. Not sexual in anyway, only adoring.
You chuckle, "I had just been thinking the same thing." You comb a hand through his already disheveled, golden hair and smile. "You're so lucky."
He laughs and nips at your hip bone before soothing it with a kiss. Then he's off the bed and back to the bathroom. Then the room is dark and the bed dips as he crawls in beside you. "Were you reallyâŚ" His voice is just shy of steady, "Were you really thinkin' about it?"
You schoot back, smiling as he wraps his arms tighter, "YeahâŚ" You breath deep, "Just kind of, came over me."
Jake nodded behind you and placed a kiss to the side of your neck, "I wouldn't ever ask you to do this outside of the bedroom. You know that right?"
THe smile on your face widens, "I know Jake. I wouldn't mind doing it for your again, just so you know."
He hums, obviously pleased. "Next time you could call me Commander Seresin."
"Not until your promotion is official flyboy." You tease him, shifting your ass back against him as well.
He laughs again, deep and sincere and smooths a hand down your side to keep your hips close. "You didn't mind calling me Admiral when I put on my dress whites and tied you to the bed." He teased, nipping at the shell of your ear, "Sounded so pretty, all drunk and horny, calling me Sir and asking me to put a baby in youâŚ"
You elbowed him hard in the ribs, "Well, the next time I call you Admiral OR ask you to⌠do that, there better be a Mrs. Seresin to go with it."
Jake turned you to face him and kissed you, slow and deep. "Don't tease me darlin'."
"I would never." You kiss him back, grinning into it until you pull back, "Never about that."
He kisses you again, "Admiral and Mrs. Seresin⌠is it bad i'm gettin' hard just thinkin' about it."
You shove him onto his back with a laugh, "You realize we'll be like.. what? In our fifties, at least."
His smile was wide and his dimples showed even in the dark of your bedroom. "If we hurry and get those babies on the way, they'd be out of the house by thenâŚ"
"We are not havin' babies until you are on permanent shore duty Hangman, you hear me."
"So, what you're sayin' is; I've got a few more years to get all the kinky shit out of my system?" He licked his lips and gave you a look.
"And to sort out that jealous boyfirend thing." You chided him.
"Darlin'," He pulled you down into a kiss, "You let me give you my last name, I won't have nothin' to be jealous of."
You kissed him again, nipped at his bottom lip as you pulled back and settled your head onto his chest. His arms coming around you again made you sigh in contentment.
~~~~~
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On Christmas Day of 2018, I received a paperback copy of George Orwell's 1984. I was 12 years old.
I remember the adults - aunts and uncles, parents, grandparents, looking at me cautiously, as if they had handed me a live bomb rather than a book. "That's a very intense book, okay?" my father told me. "If you want, we can talk about it after you read it." 12-year-old me, with only a dim idea of what fascism actually was and an insatiable appetite for books, only nodded.
While my younger cousins and sister played with their new toys, I sat on the couch and read the book in one sitting. When I finished, I looked up to see the adults staring at me with a strange sort of fascination. "Do you want to talk about it?" my father asked.
"No." I shrugged and turned away.
The truth was, I had been expecting a happy ending. Winston Smith was the good guy, wasn't he? Why didn't he win? Evil governments always lost in the end, didn't they? How could Winston have been brainwashed into believing such an evil, awful dictatorship was truly great? After all, when my middle school history teachers talked about dictatorships, those of Hitler and Stalin, it was obvious that they were the worst of the worst. No one actually agreed with them, did they?
Then I remembered my fourth grade class talking about the upcoming election, laughing about how obviously stupid Trump's wall idea was, and how strange it felt to hear someone say Clinton was worse. I don't remember his reasoning, but I distinctly remember thinking it was dumb because what could be dumber than a giant wall around Mexico? I remembered my grandmother arguing against vaccinating children, and I remembered flat Earthers I had seen online. That day was the first time it clicked for me: people believe what they want to believe.
The years passed. I read 1984 again, and again, and again. I watched as Trump shut down the government for sake of a temper tantrum, as he was impeached, as he told Americans to inject bleach, as he politicized a pandemic and let thousands die. I didn't know about his SA scandals. I didn't know he had called Mexicans "thieves and rapists." I just knew he could not be allowed to be president again.
Yet, when 2020 rolled around, I was only 14 years old and could not vote. I settled for watching anxiously as the votes came in - I didn't know much about Joe Biden, but he was clearly a better alternative. He actually believed the COVID-19 pandemic was real, for one. So I sighed in relief as the results came through four days later: Joe Biden had been elected president of the United States.
I kept watching. I watched as Trump incited insurrection, as terrorists stormed the Capitol. I stared in horror at the TV. How could this have happened? How were so many people so delusional?
In December 2021, for my sophomore year English class, I read 1984 again. I thought of January 6th.
My classmates thought it boring, confusing, stupid. It didn't make sense. What did it matter? Who cared whether or not we knew the significance of the character of O'Brien?
I kept watching. The summer before my junior year of high school, just before I entered a relationship with my now-partner, Roe v. Wade was overturned, and I felt a sinking pit in my stomach. Six months later, a friend of mine read 1984 for that same English class, and he loved it - we had a few intense study hall discussions about the nature of doublespeak, of totalitarianism, of a surveillance state. My partner agreed, reading it with a terrified fascination.
I kept watching. I realized I was nonbinary, and I watched in horror as the Republican Party made their creeping advances to eradicate trans rights. Idly, I reread 1984. What the right wanted did seem a lot like Oceania's government, didn't it? I wondered if I'd ever be able to marry my partner, who, despite also being trans, was still the same sex as me. If Trump ran again, he'd probably win, and then what would we do?
Then, 2024. Trump won the primaries in a landslide. I turned 18 and registered to vote. In the meantime, I skimmed Project 2025's bits about banning pornography and thought of 1984 and its carefully curated sexless society, created to achieve perfect complacency. I went off to college and voted absentee, carefully bubbling in the circle next to Vice President Kamala Harris's name. I woke up on Wednesday, November 6th to see Trump had won the presidency.
It has been one week. Again, I watch as Trump proposes a Department of Government Efficiency, which sounds euphemistically horrific. I watch as he suggests Musk to head it, a man known for being as inefficient as possible. I think of the Ministry of Truth and how its entire purpose was to disseminate lies. I watch as people celebrate, mocking me and many others who had desperately voted against a fascist, a rapist, a convicted criminal, a man who would kill us and spit on our graves if he was elected to office. I think of Parsons and duckspeak, the practice of simply spitting out the "correct" propaganda the same way a duck quacked. People really did believe what they wanted to believe, didn't they? I realize Trump won because, deep down, people hated minorities more than they loved democracy.
I hope my loved ones and I will survive another Trump presidency. I hope those in Gaza and Ukraine will survive it too, along with so many others - Jews, POC, immigrants, students, disabled, Muslims. At the very least, I hope to live long enough to watch as the bigots are forced to eat their own words and come to terms with the fact they gleefully voted in their own downfall.
At the end of the day, 1984 taught me something I could not have comprehended at age 12, 14, 15, or 16, but can understand now: democracy dies not with a bang, but with a whimper.
#fascisim#election 2024#fuck trump#orwell 1984#politics#arc rambles#elon musk#fuck musk#fuck maga#donald trump
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Sometimes, home is a person.
Summary: Joel loves music and so do you, and he finds the perfect thing for it on patrol
A/N: I wanna dance with Joel AGHHH GOD. Also I'm putting the song I'd put in my apocalypse record player here. Which would you pick??
Pairing: Joel Miller x gn!reader
Word count: 1.1k
Warnings: fluff, language, a vague suicide mention, established relationship
DO NOT COPY THIS WORK IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.
"Joel! Get your ass over here!" Tommy's voice echoed throughout the large house they'd just cleared out, nearing the end of their patrol for the day.
The stairs creaked beneath his feet as he trudged up them, turning the corner and walking into the room Tommy was stood in, hands outstretched in front of him as he looked at Joel, before gesturing to the space in front of him. "Look!" He said expectantly as Joel turned and let his eyes rove over the items before him.
A blue record player, weathered with age and apocalypse, with a case of records on the floor beside it. There were also posters from some musical bands which were a little damaged too, but a few were still recognisable.
"Well, shit." Joel chuckled, fingertips lightly brushing against the case of the record player as he turned back to face Tommy. "You takin' any of this or 's it a gift for me?"
"All for you, brother. Meet me outside in 10, yeah?"
Joel nodded before turning back around and checking the record player for damage, deciding it would probably still work and moving onto the records. He picked out a few he liked and some more he knew you'd like too, putting them in his pack and finally looking to the posters. He swiftly pocketed the Pearl Jam one and looked for some more, finally ending up with Tommy a little more than 10 minutes later.
"You sure took your time." He had teased as Joel walked out, pack close to bursting by now with all the shit he was trying to bring back. He didn't really get excited over stuff anymore, but he hadn't come across a single record player in.. ever, so it was a pretty big thing for him. Not only that, but you loved music just as much as he did, and he knew you'd be over the moon when he brought everything back.
"Had to make sure I wasn't leavin' anythin' good behind." Joel explained as he mounted his horse, the pair kicking off and starting the journey back to Jackson.
You watched the swirls of stock and water blend together in the pot as you cooked dinner when the telltale sound of heavy footsteps plodding up the porch and the key turning in the lock graced your ears.
"'m home!" Joel called as you turned the heat down on the stove and walked over to the entryway.
"Hey." You smiled, going over to him and giving him a small kiss. "How was patrol?"
"Was good, nothin' special really." He replied, wanting to keep the record player a secret so he could surprise you later.
"No infected?" You asked as you reached to help get his jacket off, before reaching for his pack too. He quickly stopped you from taking it with his hand, causing you to look at him confusedly.
"What? You hidin' something from me?" You questioned with a little smile, before retreating and hanging his jacket up.
"Not hidin' anythin'." He told you in a gruff voice as he took off his boots and followed you into the kitchen.
You gave him an 'ookay then' look, and he knew you'd seen straight through him, but you chose to just let it go. "Dinner'll be ready in a bit, then. You should go shower, you're all stinky." You teased as you wrinkled your nose slightly, making him let out a low chuckle as he walked upstairs.
"Yes ma'am."
That evening, the two of you ate and after you both finished, you were resting on the couch when Joel gently took the book you were reading from your hands.
"Wanted t'show you somethin'." He said, trying to suppress the smile that wanted to etch itself onto his face but ultimately failing.
"I knew you were hiding something!" You immediately responded with a grin as you sat up off the couch and looked at him expectedly.
"Yeah, ya always gotta be right, don't cha?" He smirked as he stood up and reached down into the pack.
"Now close your eyes." He told you, making you let out a small laugh as you did.
"Okay this better be the coolest thing ever Joel, you're really making it seem that way." You said as he stood in front of you.
"It is. Open your eyes."
You did, and when you saw the record player in his hands, you let out a little gasp and looked from him to the record player and back to him again.
"Is this.." you began, before reaching for the little clasp on it and popping it open.
He watched your eyes sparkle like they'd never done before as his heart positively melted.
"Yeah, found it on patrol." He explained as he put the record player on a table then took your hand and pulled you up from the couch.
"Y'gonna keep gawkin' at it or you wanna dance with me?" He smirked as you looked back at him and smiled.
"Yeah- Let's dance."
He put a record on that he knew you'd love and put his hand on your waist, pulling you a little closer as your hands joined behind his neck and the two of you danced slowly, swaying to the music. You looked up at his face and let your left hand trail across his jaw, cupping it as your thumb raked over the coarse stubble that littered along the bottom of his face. Your gaze shifted to his eyes, a deep warm brown which stared back at you with such love that was only reserved for a select few people in Joel's life. His face, scarred from the many battles he'd fought - physical and mental - and from age. A face which you adored regardless of any 'imperfection'. A particular scar on his temple came into view and you lingered on it for a minute. If he had been successful that day, you wouldn't be here, alive even, let alone living the best life you reckoned you could in the apocalyptic world with the man you loved. You shook the thought away and let your eyes finally fall on his lips. Slightly chapped, pink and pouty, just begging to be kissed.
Of course, you oblige as you lean in and press your lips to his, the song coming to a slow end even though you didn't notice since you were so lost in thought, in admiration for the man you were so blessed to call yours. You poured everything into the kiss, wanting to emphasise just how much you loved him without even needing words. He needed to know it, and you'd come to realise that, so you showed him as much as you could every single day.
Thank you SM for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated and requests are open đ
#joel miller tlou#joel miller imagine#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel tlou#joel miller#joel miller angst#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fluff#joel miller one shot#joel miller x you#joel x reader#tlou hbo#the last of us#joel miller hbo#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#ppcu#ppcu fanfiction#amyispxnk fics
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Draco notices you
pairing:: oblivious!nice!draco x slytherin!reader
summary:: you had shared potions with draco since first year but he doesnt notice you until sixth word count:: 731 a/n:: no voldemort so no oncoming war! dracos just a dumb dumb and oblivious. no use of y/n!
Stress burrowed its way into your brows as you stepped into Slughorns NEWT potions class. You scored an O on your OWLs and only feared the amount of work you'll have to put into the next exams. Ranking high in your year has always been important, not only to you but your parents as well. The thought alone is enough to settle a hunch on your shoulders.Â
You at least felt good about being able to pick the table directly in the middle row, as not all the students had arrived yet. Slughorn was drowning on his greetings from his podium as the room filled. By the time your advanced potions book was situated perfectly center in front of you most spots had been taken besides the one left empty at your table.
When you felt the stool move back as the professor started his introduction it didn't even interest you to see who youâd be stuck with. It had never mattered in the past, you'd even lucked out with lab partners, most people adjoining themselves to their friends. It wasn't until Slughorn finished his speech that you'd taken the time to check what other sixth years had made it into the course. Only a few you could place names on; Harry potter (of course) and his red-haired friend. While most Slytherins had a vendetta against the young wizard heâd only ever been kind to you, so you sent him a smile that he returned with an awkward wave.
âAre you friends with Potter?â The voice came from your side, held a curious tone and sent pinpricks across your skin.
âNo, actually. Just being kind.â You didn't take the time to look, you barely recognized the voice and it's not like you had real friends. Especially none that would be in this class with you.
âYou're a Slytherin?â
That caught your attention. Six years at Hogwarts and it still surprised people that you could be naturally nice, it was almost aggravating. While most Slytherins dove straight into the stereotypes and embraced them, you never found the time. It took effort to be rude and even more effort to be a typical Slytherin bully.
âMmâ You hummed, finally turning to face the person. âAs are you, Malfoy.â
His head tilted the slightest and his lips tugged loosely at the ends. He thought it was cute youâd still be kind while also being a little condescending.
âAre you new?â His pale eyebrows furrowed a little. He genuinely has never seen you before, at least he didn't think he had.
âNope.â You let it fall from your mouth in the same tone as before, âI sat behind you in potions the last five years, actually.â It wasn't unusual for most students to be unaware of your presence. You'd flown under the radar most years, avoiding drama and parties. You'd spent time studying and reading for fun more than you did conversing amongst everyone else.
His brows only furrowed deeper, âSurely I'd remember that.â You could practically hear the gears screeching as they spun in his head, âWait,â he snapped his fingers and smiled. If you looked close enough you could see the small dimple that adorned his cheek cutely. âYou beat out Granger for, like, every potion assignment. Snape loved you.â
His statement brought your mood up just a bit as you smiled at him, bringing your hands together in your lap.
âGood to know my intelligence precedes me.â
His smile never faltered as he chuckled. âI can't believe weâve never interacted beforeâ His hair fell to the sides as he shook his head, almost in disbelief.Â
Slughorn gained attention of the class again and before you knew it you had your first homework assignment at the top of your mental list while packing up your bag.
Draco tapped two fingers on the table in front of you, smiling when you looked up at him with a hum.
âIâll see you at lunch?â He questioned, âI sit at the end closest to the professors table.â He made it sound like an invitation and you nodded your head quicker than you'd ever admit. His smile only grew at your response as he nodded back.
As you rose to your feet and followed the last of the students through the threshold of the class you couldn't help the giddy smile breaking out across your face.
#draco x reader#draco#draco malfoy#slytherin#hp x reader#draco malfoy x reader#draco imagine#draco blurb#draco lucius malfoy#slytherin boys#slytherin reader#dracoxreader#dracomalfoyxreader#hpxreader#slytherinxreader#slytherin x reader#draco x y/n#draco x you#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy x you#dracoxy/n#dracoxyou#dracomalfoyimagine#dracomalfoyxyou
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