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kalevalakryze · 5 months ago

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Yhe'na Det Och'sa Chapter 7: Mi K’ya Ke Omaki

Summary:

"Would you die for me?"

"No. I would live for you."

Golly Gee Willikers, guys, it's been a minute. I have been Going Through It™ these last few months, but thanks to our wonderful and amazing Gabi ( @somewillwin) and all my lovely internet people in the Shin Tano discord, I've finally managed to get some time to work on another chapter! There's still so much more to go, and so much more to cover, so sit tight, and please continue having patience with me through these next few months especially. Shin is also going through it... and Ahsoka,,, and- yeah, everyone is going through it. and don't forget! ALL ART USED IN THIS SERIES AND CHAPTER IS BY SOMEWILLWIN ON TUMBLR/TWITTER | SOMEWILLLOSE ON INSTAGRAM. Make sure we give credit where it is due, and if you share art, make sure the love goes to Gabi because she really is keeping this whole thing going! WARNING: chapter imagery contains blood. The chapter contains descriptions of injury and suicidal ideation, and I feel like the influence of the dark side can count as a warning as well. Continue at your own risk. AO3 Link: Here!

“Ahsoka!” Kaeden protested for what had to be the hundredth time since they received the comm. “Do you really think there��s time to drop us off when we know where Shin’s at?”

“I am not risking your lives,” Ahsoka repeated like a broken record, fingers curled tight around the yoke of the ship's controls as anxiety pulled her muscles tight. She was no stranger to the way fear could manipulate decisions, no stranger to the dangers that lurked behind every choice made, and yet… with her world on the line once again, she found difficulty in arranging her thoughts, found discomfort in the age-old mantra of letting go.

“Commander, you can’t be serious,” Rex was strapped solidly in his seat, fingers pressing into the armrests to keep himself steady through flying that could only be taught by General Skywalker, passed on so similarly in his Padawan, weaving them through space until they could reach the closest discreet jump point in the system.

“I’m not discussing this with you!”

There was a time, long ago during the Clone Wars, when Rex had to face the reality of a Togruta’s predatory behavior when Fives got hurt and a fourteen-year-old had bowed over his prone form and bared her teeth at any medic that tried to get too close, wouldn’t move an inch until it was Kix slowly kneeling at his vod’s side.

He was reminded now of this instance, in the growl that rumbled in the woman’s chest and the way full lips had pulled back, sharp fangs protruding threateningly as she dared a fiery look back at the two humans, a warning echoed deep in their bones in the way artificial lights glinted off of passive blue orbs, almost making it look as if yellow were seeping into her irises with a toxic sludge.

There was a click, then the sound of seatbelts retracting into their holders as Kaeden unbuckled, feet unsteady against the ground as Ahsoka neared the safest hyperspace lane. “Ahsoka-“ It was a valiant effort to try and calm the frenzied Force-Sensitive, though it didn’t seem to have much of an effect.

“You weren’t there,” Ahsoka hissed. “You didn’t feel it,” her facial markings were scrunched, and Huyang was almost sure that the woman was going to destroy her steering console if she didn’t lighten the hold.

“What didn’t we feel, ‘Soka?” Kaeden pressed, hand still pressed against the taut muscle of her bicep, her other hand moving to cover her hands on the yoke.

“She died , Kaeden. And I just don’t have what we need on the ship to handle that. I can’t trust anyone else to get the space ready, that’s why I need you two to go,” She deflated with this admission.

Ahsoka had felt the deaths of thousands of Jedi at once, had felt her aliit killed in battle, and had come to terms with the death of her own Master and Grand Master once their presences had closed off to her. For Shin? It was almost like their presence revealed itself, only to torture Ahsoka with the feeling of it being ripped from the world.

There had been so much fear in the way it had bounced like bait on a string, when she’d meditated, the Force held no answers, no whispers of what could be done, or how she could get there faster. It had stayed torturously silent until the bond had strengthened, soured by darkness and the thick fog of their presence being so weak, unable to truly commit to a bond that stretched across systems when it hadn’t even seemed to want to stay tethered to the physical realm.

Kaeden had already secured an Alliance frigate to wait on Dac for them, and in the quiet that had followed Ahsoka’s confession, the medic had taken a moment, either to alert them to an earlier arrival before Shin was rescued or to step away and breathe through the sting in her eyes, unwilling to lay any more stress on Ahsoka’s shoulders.

The rest of the trip was spent in silence, save for Huyang’s mumbling of different coordinates or whatever they were apparently passing, along with, as they passed their clearance code to the spaceport closest to the medical frigatem randomized facts about Dac’s history and environment thanks to the Mon Calamari.

“Commander,” Rex began as they gathered near the shuttle doors. Before Ahsoka could correct him, she found that strong arms were wrapping around her midsection. She’d grown taller than him over the years… but it was nice to be able to drop her head into the familiar plastoid on his shoulder and squeeze him in her arms, knowing that despite everything, he was with her. “Bring the kid home, alright?”

Swelled with emotion, the Togruta only nodded as they parted. Kaeden stepped up next, as Rex slipped into the frigate, the medic moved to grab at Ahsoka’s face, thumbs brushing over the markings on her cheeks as the Force-Sensitive woman pressed into her. “Don’t forget, we need you to come home too,” She reminded gently, with a parting kiss to the crown of her head. Before Kaeden could depart, she paused in the doorway. “Bring our girl back,”

“ I will. ”

Jestfad was a mess, harder to navigate than some warzones, and drenched in the dark side. The electrical storm was threatening to short the entire ship, even Huyang's power cells found issues with the charge in the air, eyes flickering ominously as he did his best to keep himself and the ship moving as Ahsoka kept them free of direct strikes.

Worry was heavy in Ahsoka’s bones, urging her focus to remain only on getting through the storm. They just had to make it a little bit longer…

They broke through the worst of the storm, headlights cutting like a sharp blade through the thick fog that settled across the surface, beams swaying as they looked for anything that resembled a humanoid, coming up with boundless sights of storm-torn boulders and the like.

Shin would have been impossible to see if it hadn't been for the exactness of the coordinates that had been sent over the Fulcrum network, their small frame curled up under a stone monolith that absorbed lightning and kept her mostly safe; safer than Ahsoka was, open like prey waiting to be attacked. "Keep us in the air, we need to get out of here," She instructed, already making a mad dash for the door as they closed in on her position.

"I have a bad feeling about this!" Huyang called as Ahsoka dropped the ramp and readied the stairs to give her a boost in sliding down to the surface.

"All you need to feel right now is urgency, Huyang!" Ahsoka snipped from the open door, squinting as a bolt of lightning cut through her eyesight of Shin. The force swelled with a helpful exigency and her montrals rang with the aftershocks of the sharp crack of lightning further damaging their surroundings. "Now!"

The steps smoothed out immediately to send Ahsoka careening to the rocky surface of the planet hard . She had to hit the ground running to avoid the lightning that threatened to turn her to ash, but keeping herself moving after catching the state shin was in was another challenge in itself.

They were shaking from where their body curled in so tight, with how they sat with their hands folded in their lap, Ahsoka could make out the unnatural twists and angles their fingers made, and the gaping wounds that morbidly decorated their palms. Large chunks of skin were missing from her hands, barely scabbed over lacerations striping painfully across her fingers and knuckles racing almost halfway up her forearm. Blood soaked through the clothes they'd been taken in, blues and grays ruined with the dark, rust-colored evidence of the worst.

"Shin!" Ahsoka shouted over the storm, moving faster than she should have; Silver-blue eyes were half-glazed, jumping to her with absolute fear , unseeing and unregistering of the reality of Ahsoka’s presence.

"I'm sorry," The child had sobbed once Ahsoka grew near, montrals twitching at the rattle in their chest and the lethargy sinking into their being. Broken fingers flexed around nothing, and fear oozed from their being at a rate almost as concerning as all the blood.

All Ahsoka could offer to comfort them was her presence as she dropped to Shin’s side, ginger in the way she approached them and in the waves of pain that radiated off of them and into the very fibers of their bond. The wail of pain from them was agony in her head, one Ahsoka would not be quick to forget as she gathered her lanky kid up into her arms. "I know, I know-” As much as her heart ached to soothe Shin’s worries, to promise they had nothing to be sorry for, she had to be their Master more than their mother if she wanted any hope of getting them off that blasted moon.

Shin was light, physically at least, though she sunk into Ahsoka’s arms with the weight of a zillobeast, feverish forehead dropping against her lek as hot tears streaked down their face. “ Didn’t say anything ,” Shin rasped at last, voice all but a wheeze. “ They don’t know, ” The rattling in their chest seemed to shake their entire being, “I swear, m.. Ahsoka… please,” They couldn’t bring themselves to call her mom , not when the Inquisitor’s cutting remarks went far beyond their flesh.

Ahsoka paused, a strike of lightning caught the monolith, illuminating Shin’s face and the blood that stained sickly skin. “ Oh , Tazi Unt,” she wanted to cry, tell Shin that everything would be alright, and make everything all right. But the longer they stayed, the more dangerous it became both for her resilience in the force, and their physical wellbeing, and with each passing moment, the weaker Shin seemed to get.

The run back to the ship was harder, the storm grew stronger with every passing minute, and the shuttle was beginning to attract attention that they couldn't afford. "Huyang! We need to move, fast!" She shouted the minute her foot touched the durasteel ramp, muscles burning as Shin writhed in her arms uncomfortably, reaching but unable to truly hold onto the woman’s lek for comfort, failing to tether themselves into reality as their feverish state glazed over their eyes.

The ramp raised behind her as she all but flew into the cockpit, setting Shin down in the knick of time; A bolt struck the hull of the ship, and the next thing she knew, they were diving towards the ashen ground, plummeting to their deaths in seconds; Ahsoka had slammed into the pilots seat to grab at the controls, eyes fixed on the rapidly approaching ground, slamming her free hand into every available control around her, with the painful clicking of Huyang's haywire systems trying to reboot with such an intense electronic disturbance.

Faintly, she could hear Shin's erratic breaths, fighting to suck in wails to prove they were fine, even as fear flowed into their bond from the woman who just didn't have time to block it. They were trying to pull on the safety belts around them as their fate loomed ever closer, unable to even hook the straps into whatever was left of their hands, instead only able to watch and prepare themselves for the crash.

The underbelly of the shuttle scraped painfully against the planet as the power came back on, allowing Ahsoka's next hard yank at the controls to pull them up, and a well timed opening of the throttle to push them just out of the way of the next bolt of lightning that surely would have killed them.

Huyang clicked back to life with a start; the palm of his hand switching to the hyperdrive, engaging it quickly, with their emergency jump points already queued up for a speedy escape; Ahsoka didn't dare a look behind her, to the injured girl fighting to stay in their seat, shattered hands trying in vain to find some form of a handhold against the turbulence, only earning more bruises from the painful jostling in the seat as they fought to maintain stability in their lane.

Eventually, the ship steadied, and Ahsoka was able to take her attention away from the control panels at last, autopilot engaging with just a few buttons to maintain the course, listening to the broken gasps as Huyang knelt before Shin’s seat, and the sickening sound of bones being pulled into place along the splints. She couldn’t watch, but she couldn’t just sit there and do nothing, either.

“You’re okay, Tazi Unt , you’re alright,” She repeated those words like a mantra, even when the brunette’s head turned to bury into her stomach, attempting to spare themselves the sight that lay before them. “You’re doing so good,” She’d promised, cupping the back of the girl’s head with her hand, wincing at the indents and scabs along their scalp that felt too much like another being’s fingernails.

Their hands were in such disarray, tendons and bone made themselves known, ripping through pal, bloodied skin, and Huyang had to scramble to catch up and get some form of control in straightening them out. But to prevent further injury was to bring more pain, and in bringing her more pain, Ahsoka was stuck with their cries echoing in her head, and the way their small frame had shaken so violently in the chair.

When Shin’s cries of pain quieted and turned into something more haunting; whimpers and sucked in breaths, turning to silence aside from the absolute worse, Ahsoka knew they couldn’t continue. “Huyang, we don’t have anything to help, we can’t do this,” She croaked, hands hovering over Shin’s shoulders, unsure of whether or not she should soothe, or aid.

Somewhere, long ago, far away on a battlefield surrounded by men who looked the same, Ahsoka could hear the echos of her own voice, younger, back then, with the shrapnel from an IED tearing through sepia-colored skin- “Let me die-” The fourteen-year-old had begged as a Clone’s steady hand pulled everything from metal to bone shards from her skin.

“Let me die… Please.” The twelve-year-old sobbed into Ahsoka’s stomach, surely unaware of what they were asking for, unaware of everything but the way their bones cracked under Huyang’s fingers as he tried to reset the placement. “Huyang,” Ahsoka pleaded, voice thick with unshed emotion. “Stop.”

“Lady Tano, she needs medical attention, and you’ve dispatched our only medic-”

“Call her, then, please… Anything but this,”

With hyperspace came silence, and with the silence of the ship around them came the sound of Ahsoka’s own heart thudding in her chest, and an airy rattling that couldn’t have come from the ship- Shin’s chest rose and fell, yes, though it was rapid and unsteady, they couldn’t draw in enough oxygen and-

“Ahsoka? Did you get her?” Kaeden’s voice came from the small comm disc in Huyang’s hand, the sound of materials being moved around following her words.

“Kaeden, she can’t breathe,” The Togruta rushed, oxygen entering her lungs for the first time since Huyang stopped his relentless first aid, warm fingers pressed against their pulse point, the rhythm weak against her fingers, eyes blinking open slowly to watch as her mother’s eyes jumped around their face, to watch Huyang, as if Kaeden could slip from the comm to help, and makers, what she wouldn’t give for that right now.

“It’s okay, Ahsoka-” There was a small clatter on the other end. “In your cabin, I left a bag. There’s an oxygen canister and everything you should need-”

Shin tried to focus, really she did. But Kaeden’s voice sounded like it was coming from far underwater, and the persistent lingering feeling of drowning stayed clogged in lungs that struggled to fill with enough oxygen. “ Meht ?” Shin called, her voice crackling under a wheeze. Huyang’s fingers around their wrist stopped the child from reaching out as Ahsoka pulled away from them. Why was she leaving them? She didn’t talk… “Meht, please-” Their voice came in a broken sob, lungs constricting as they tried in vain to rise past Huyang. The Inquisitor was right, and Ahsoka never considered them hers and-

There was just no more energy left to cry, no water left to sustain the tears that contorted their bruised and bloody face as a high, broken sound leaked past split lips, aching with the sorrows no one their age should have known. “She will be back, young Tano,” Huyang tried to ease them as he wound a strip of gauze across their hands, the rich smell of bacta stinging her nose even after the worst was covered. “Here she comes-” His voice couldn’t go as soft as he was trying to portray, the distortion felt like an out-of-body experience as he leaned back, away from Shin-

“ Please ,” Again, they keened, unable to turn their head to catch Ahsoka juggling items back through the door, only the heart-sinking sight of even Huyang moving away from her. “ I didn’t say anything, please ,” She couldn’t sob, could only crackle out against blood-stained lips and try to plead her case, to beg for their forgiveness and only hope to be accepted.

The hand that cradled the side of their head had been startling- Black gloves shoving into brunette tangles, gathering them up in strong hands to twist, and pull, or to hold a flailing body under the surface until the fight had left it, only to use the handhold to drag them up and force air back into their lungs. She did not notice the warmth or the way Ahsoka had jumped back twice as much, how every ounce of progress they’d made in getting Shin to accept her safety had been extinguished like a campfire on Kamino.

“No,” Ahsoka listened with pursed lips and the beast of grief heavy in her heart. “Let me die,” Shin’s hands raised, broken fingers useless in their attempt to curl into a fist to protect their face, blind to the broken horror on Ahsoka’s face as the girl shrank away from her in fear, expecting Ahsoka to hurt them.

“Shin!” It was Kaeden’s voice on the comm this time, hazy and alternating the line between reality and delirium. “Right here, okay, just listen to me, alright? Just breathe,” She spoke slow enough to earn her their attention but was unable to aid in calming the way they sucked in air too fast.

“Can’t-”

“It’s okay, baby, your mom is going to help you, okay? She’s right there, she’s right next to you, okay?” The medic couldn’t see, the comm wasn’t equipped for video imaging, but she trusted, maybe even in the Force, that Ahsoka was right where she promised. “ ‘soka, do you know how to set that up?”

“Yeah, yes, I got it-” Keeping her voice level was a lesson she’d learned long ago; it helped her brothers feel more at peace, whether they’d died on the battlefield, or in the relative comfort of the medical wings as long as she didn’t allow her own fear to waver in her voice. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you… Not this time, never again…”

Quiet reassurances were passed between mother and daughter as thin tubing was carefully laid out, looping behind their ears before the cannulas were placed at their nose. “Your mom is going to help you breathe, alright, just let the air in. Ahsoka, when she’s ready, turn the knob on the canister forty-five degrees counter-clockwise.”

Shin coughed and sputtered at the oxygen pushing into her lungs, lidded eyes flying open to the sight of Ahsoka trying to adjust the tubing, aching to touch them but unwilling to brush against their skin again, lest she be the reason they went back again. “You’re alright, Tazi Unt ,” She cooed, settling herself into a kneeling position at their side,two fingers pressing gently against the center of their chest, listening as their breathing struggled to even out while feeling for the rest of the damage that tore through their small frame, hidden beneath their ill-fitting tunic.

“You’re doing so good, baby girl,” Kaeden called, easing Shin into finding some sort of compliance, relieving their struggle against the aid offered.

“Ahsoka, I need you to keep listening to their breathing, have Huyang take over the controls for a bit,” Huyang’s eyes met Ahsoka’s and without a word, the droid rose to his feet, sliding into Ahsoka’s chair and adjusting everything to himself as he brought their course up on a map, taking them out of autopilot so he could work around through the different shortcuts the Rebellion had found.

“Meht?” Shin was blinking up at her, bleary-eyed and beaten down, shoulders shaking with the looming threat of freezing cold water, long dried, but sticking far beyond their skin brought an intense chill. “I swear…” They coughed, a thick and sickly sounding thing as they struggled to allow the oxygen to help them breathe.

“I believe you,” Ahsoka promised, fingers hovering where they wanted so badly to reassure them through touch again. “No one blames you, strong girl. We only want to help it stop hurting, but… we won’t be able to do anything more until we get to Kaeden, okay…?”

The hypospray was in her pocket, she knew she needed to help Shin to sleep, but it was wrong to do such a thing, to even suggest it after all they’d been through, knowing that any kind of a needle brought into the mix wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near them-

“Please… hurts.” They croaked, closing the distance between their feverish forehead and Ahsoka’s hovering hand of their own accord, seeking comfort in the way Ahsoka’s thumb brushed across the old and ruined paint across their cheeks. Offering her permission to touch them once again. “I don’t want… “ They paused, unsure in their delirious request. The Force answered for her, instead of pain or chains, the child’s request came in the phantom feeling of arms wound against her. “It’s okay, Tazi Unt… I can do that for you, anything you need.” She promised gently, using the aid of the Force to help adjust their position in the chair, keeping their hands steady through the Force until she could slide herself in beneath them, their weight resting fully against her chest as the seat creaked under their combined weight.

Shin’s head tucked into Ahsoka’s neck, though the woman had to loosely wrap her fingers around their wrists to keep them still, their resistance weak as they struggled against the urge to reach for her mother’s lek. Their erratic breathing slowed once their weight was settled, allowing Ahsoka’s mind to drift away from the weight of the sedative stashed in her pockets,

“Ahsoka?” Kaeden’s voice on the comm reminded the Togruta of her virtual presence. “I know it’s calm now… but I need you to keep an eye on Shin’s breathing, even the slightest change and we’ll need to adjust our entire approach.”

“I… She’s as steady as she can be, right now,” Their heart still thundered in their chest, pulse thrumming wildly against the pads of Ahsoka’s thumbs where they pressed into the point on her wrist, feeling the broken rise and fall of their chest as the girl fought to retain every lesson they’d ever been given on easing that pain into the force where it could dissipate.

“Did you use..?”

“No… I don’t think I can…” Ahsoka’s eyes slid shut in reverence, lips pulling into a frown as Shin’s weight twitched against her. All she’d wanted was to have them back in her arms, but now, with their breath coming in broken puffs against her chest, all she found that she wanted was some way to relieve them from their pain. “ I’m sorry, ” Her nose brushed against the veritable womp-rat’s nest of their head, nose crinkling at how wrong Shin smelled when iron, dirt, and grease hung on them like a thick smog.

“She’s going to be alright, Ahsoka. You found her, she’s safe . Huyang will get you guys back here, and we can treat them properly… we’ll make this work.”

Ahsoka’s sound of discontent is trapped between her teeth as she worries a fang into her bottom lip. Kaeden spoke, but Fulcrum did not listen, focused entirely on the whistling in Shin’s lungs as exhaustion pulled their consciousness under, the hiss of the oxygen pushing into their nose through the cannulas the only other sound she could find it in her to care about.

“Ahsoka…?” Kaeden called, though Ahsoka could not gauge how much time had passed, wild eyes filled with worry and tunneled on the small human form curled into her chest. “Hey, you still with me?”

“Yeah…” Her voice croaked, hoarse as the hailstorm of emotion that refused to bleed into the force dragged down on each syllable.

“Shut your eyes a bit- I’ll keep my ears out if Shin moves, okay? And Huyang will wake you up- Right Huyang?” She called towards the droid piloting the ship, satisfied with the sound of his servos whirring as his head nodded in the affirmative, even if she couldn’t see him; they’d always had an understanding when it came to their two Fulcrum agents.

Emotions swirled inside Ahsoka’s chest, dark and rotting- She breathed through it, always had, and always would- Shin was safe . Shin needed her at her best… It was logic she could get behind, the logic that she could rationalize as the days' worth of sleep deprivation caught up with her. An exhale, and the rot subsided, blooming into something lighter , even if the roots were tainted in toxic sludge.

A dark covered hand reached out for their face, this time, Shin did not flinch away in fear, to their horror, they found their cheek pressing into morbid fingers, something sinful on their tongue as fingers dragged through their hair. “You’re more like me than you want to admit.” The Monster breathed, putrid breath ghosting across their cheeks, filling poison in their lungs.

Fingers curled in their hair, tugging harshly as the child’s head was wrenched back. “Show me.” Shin heard their own voice rasp out, and felt the words betray her on her own lips. “ Teach me .”

A flash of orange, green dust caught in the wind, something… purple-

Their eyes opened in a flash, breathing stuttering as their heart thundered. Restraints dug into her skin, something beeped nearby. Unable to gather the strength to look, Shin’s eyes slammed shut tight. But Ahsoka came… She was supposed to be safe!

Testing at her restraints, she found that the Inquisitor hadn’t locked their wrists to the chair. Broken fingers protested at the movement, though they persisted, moving to rub the snot on their nose away on their forearm- The tubes near their face gave them pause and their next inhale was thick with growing emotion. What were they doing to her now? Was that green dust something else to make her talk…? She was so tired… Why didn’t they just kill her already?Her pinkie curled around a tube, it hurt, but she couldn’t just lay there while they pumped her full of… whatever this was. “Please… Just let me die.” They croaked in a broken whisper, pulling in vein at the tubes that looped back behind her ears.

“Shin…? Sweetheart is that you?”

Her voice was warm, drowsiness dragged her voice an octave deeper- a naive part of Shin had always loved it when Kaeden would tell her stories in her sleepy voice.

“Meht…” Broken and tired, Shin’s head relaxed back into the warm flesh of Ahsoka’s shoulder, eyes cracking open enough at last to peer up at the once familiar lights and panels all across the ceiling. “They won’t let me die…”

“No… We aren’t going to let you die, d'bhem. ” A whine formed in the base of Shin’s throat, a sound as broken and desolate as they looked outside. Something clattered on Kaeden’s end, though Shin could not speculate when the predator under her shifted her weight, a sleepy grumble that came in the form of a rumbling chest and a squeeze of her arms reminded the girl of her situation.

“If I’m not going to die..” Shin dared a look at her hands, finding immediate regret in the way bile, nothing but stomach acid, gurgled up their throat, threatening to expel past their lips at the sight before them. Swallowing thickly, Shin focused instead on the ceiling once more, breathing heavily through her nose, silently thankful for the support they were given. “I can’t be a Jedi… Not like this… I’m ruined.” They whispered, tension leaving their body as they went boneless in warm, restricting arms. “ She isn’t going to want me around anymore.”

“That’s not true. It’ll never be true. We want you, we want you with us all the time, sweetheart… and we will make it better…” A pause, someone’s voice called out on Kaeden’s side. “What’s that thing Ahsoka’s always saying? Do or do not…?”

“There is no try,” Shin’s cheek pressed into Ahsoka’s bicep, freezing body seeking to find some warmth in their mother’s unnatural body heat. There was an uncomfortable shifting as the child wiggled, struggling to raise their head enough to take in Ahsoka’s face for what felt like the first time.

Dark bags hung under the Togruta’s eyes, stress lines etched into the creases of her face, and even her facial markings seemed to be permanently scrunched up as she failed to find relaxation in a fitful slumber. “...Is she okay?”

A pause, the clatter of Kaeden setting something down as she took a measured breath. “She’s just worried about you, Tazi grut .”

Shin’s breathing stuttered again, throat itching with a cough they were unwilling to release, not wanting to risk waking Ahsoka up after causing her so much strife. “ I’m sorry, I never meant to wo-”

“Babygirl,” Kaeden cut her off effectively, “When you love someone, you’re always going to worry. Even Huyang can’t turn that one off.”

“Oh…” Shin’s chin tucked into her chest bashfully. “Did… Did I worry you…?”

Warm laughter bubbled from the line, tight with the stressors depressing on this brief moment of reprieve. “Very, very , much. But I’ll see you very soon, and I’m going to be here the whole way, I’m not going anywhere, so don’t you go where I can’t follow.” Her plea was hidden in false merriment, although Shin could hear it clear as day. “Do you think you can try getting some more sleep for me? I’m not sure how much further you have to go…”

Shin could see the way Huyang’s metallic fingers flexed against the controls- Tried not to think about curling their own fingers, or the way her own were broken in a similar fashion. “Can I take this off…?” Their forearm brushed against the tubing that crossed along her cheek.

“Sorry, baby… Not just yet,” And maybe it was the genuine sympathy in the woman’s voice, or maybe it was exhaustion threatening to take them back that had Shin’s arm dropping, broken hands resting over Ahsoka’s gauntlets, smearing blood across the material as they pressed into the familiar garment.

“Okay… You’ll be here when…?” Shin wouldn’t dare to finish, unsure what would be waiting for them, if this was another hallucination, or if the Force would be relenting enough to allow this moment to be real, even if she could feel the way her life threatened to slip through her own mangled fingers.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, my little hunter.”

Silence followed, the ship rattled, Shin’s broken breathing accentuated by the whisper of snores sneaking past Ahsoka’s lips. “Hey Huyang…?” Their voice was timid where it broke the tense tranquility. “Can you tell me about the Purgill again…?”

The droid cleared his nonexistent throat, clearly glad to be doing something other than bringing further harm to Shin or piloting through the emptiness of hyperspace. “Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away…”

The proximity alarms blared; doing nothing to ease the swirling pit of anxiety in Rex’s stomach, fingers flexing around the handles of his blasters as they watched the ship pop out of hyperspace, peering through thick transparisteel as he may have all those years ago, once again waiting for Ahsoka return with someone he cared for.. “It’s okay, Rex, we’re safe-” Kaeden’s voice was gentle, pulling him from his thoughts, away from the memories of fallen brothers and Jetti that had been brought home in starships just like the T-6.

Brown eyes looked at her with a pain built upon years of fighting that she could barely begin to understand. “T-6 one-niner-seven-four you are clear to land,” Kaeden could hear the flight crew through the shuttle’s speakers echoing through her comm.

The silence was thick, both humans could feel their hearts thundering in their ears, neither daring to break the silence until purposeful footsteps rang through the hall leading to the operating room. “Fulcrum, we can prep her sooner if you-” Kaeden could only imagine the look on Ahsoka’s face as the voice froze in its tracks. The doors hissed open, revealing Ahsoka, with her lips still curled and fangs bared in a warning, with something that screamed danger lurking in the flecks of yellow that seemed to poison her irises, and with a lump of human in her arms, all awkward angles and dried blood. She needed something to hold onto- to ground herself. Thankfully, Rex’s arm was in reach. Her fingers curled around the ancient plastoid, feeling the soldier’s hand reach to grab her elbow, taking the same support being given as they leaned on each other. She took a breath, letting her eyes slide shut as Ahsoka’s long strides closed the distance. She couldn’t look at this personally, couldn’t look at the fractured bundle in Ahsoka’s arms as Shin. “Kaeden.” Ahsoka’s voice cracked. She’d hoped in vain that the crackling in their earlier conversation was due to the comms, had hoped she wouldn’t have to hear the ache in each syllable. She released her hold on Rex, straightening up as she reached for the bundle in Ahsoka’s arms. “I’ll take them from here, Ahsoka.” Her voice wavered, forcing her to clear her throat as the bundle was passed into her arms. She couldn’t tell who was trembling more, Ahsoka, Shin, or herself? She’d caught a glance at the pre-teen's face, all pale skin and a multitude of bruises, pounding on that invisible barrier she’d stuffed her emotions behind.

“Come on, Commander. Kid’s in good hands.” Rex’s voice was rough as he reached for Ahsoka, grabbing her elbow and expertly ignoring the way she mirrored the deadly Akul from her planet, saw past the twinge in her jaw that threatened teeth that itched to tear into his flesh, muscles that spasmed, taut and ready to spring into action for even the notion that he would take her away from her own.

With Rex and Ahsoka retreating, the small team of trusted medics finally felt safe enough to step in, careful hands helping as the woman laid Shin out against the operating table. They were no strangers to the cruelties of the Empire, not at this point, not when the Empire grew bolder in their blatant disrespect for all life.

“Careful.” She hissed, just under her breath as a faceless attendant slid the fabric shears through the ruined tunic, all careful stitching and loving repairs forgotten in favor of granting them access to the battlefield painted against a child's skin. “Oh, makers. ” Kaeden paused, her head snapping to the side, bile rising in her throat- she stumbled back, and felt another medic place their hands on her back, steadying her when the sight became overwhelming

“If it’s too much, we understand-”

“I’m fine.” The woman spoke all too quickly. “Continue prepping her, Jlik’fi, help me scrub in, please.”

Rex learned all too well than when it came to his General, it was better to let him pace when Ahsoka was stuck in the sick bay. Letting the Knight wear holes in his boots and only interfering when gloves hands would reach to pull at his hair or hint at some form of danger- some way to let the worry out that would leave the maintenance squad trying to fix the dents. Thankfully, Ahsoka didn’t have hair to pull on as she stalked the length of the small quarters he’d been ushered into, and as wild as she was when she was a kid, she’d never been big on the violent outbursts..

She did, however, have dried blood coating her skin, blood that wasn’t hers , blood that should have been safely flowing through her padawans’ veins, not painting her skin in all its horror.

Blunt nails scraped at her arms, flecking rust-colored remnants away and leaving white scratches in their wake. “Commander,” Rex heaved a great sigh as he stood. Ahsoka sure wasn’t a youngling anymore, and the Togruta had outgrown him tenfold, all broad shoulders and lean muscle, montrals sprouting like a crown from the sides of her head. He’d never been scared of her before, but there was something… off. Something that screamed danger, just like Anakin, a red flag that no one knew to catch onto. “Ahsoka.” He repeated for what had to have been the hundredth time, trying to get the Force-Sensitive to acknowledge his existence before she worried a hole into her lip, where fangs indented the skin of her lip, threatening to break the skin.

“She’s in there with the best of the best-“

“What if it’s not enough?” She hissed, voice dropping, weighted down by that ache that went deeper than her bones, the pain that seemed to permeate her being in the very force.

Rex blinked, a slow, contemplative expression furrowing his features as he reached to scratch his fingers through his beard. Ahsoka was always a woman of action , she didn’t get caught up in the ‘what-ifs’.

“We have to let her try, though. All we can do right now is make sure, when Shin wakes up, that we’re here, right where she needs us.” He reasoned, scooting himself to sit on the edge of his seat, fingers curling around the edge of the table he’d sat himself at. “C’mon, kid. Sit with an old man.”

“I’m older than you.” She lacked the emotion, the impish look that would cross their faces when they teased each other about age, but it was a start .

“Well, only one of us can get the senior citizen discount at forty-twos.”

“Rex, it’s literally a clone bar, built by your brothers.” Her pacing came to an end as she slid bonelessly into the seat opposite him. Trembling fingers came to rest on the tabletop, though he was quick to cover her hands with his own, hiding the dried blood that clung to her skin under the guise of squeezing her hands in his own.

“Yeah well… meli-room, meel-roo-un.” A smile cracked his lips as he shook his head, playfully dismissive of her argument. “Now c’mon. What’s that thing you Jetti are obsessed with? Meditation?”

“ You want to meditate ?” Fulcrum asked incredulously, the facial markings above her eyes furrowing in disbelief as he shrugged.

“Give it a shot before you carve a hole into the floor…” he just didn’t want to watch her lose herself, didn’t want to watch her plummet the same way Anakin had after she’d left. He could never help but feel like there was more he could have done, and when it came to his vod’ika , he was determined to do all in his power to never feel that strange, encompassing guilt once more.

“Alright… alright.” She slipped her hand from his in order to rub at the side of her montral, surely aching from the intense stress of the day.

Rex couldn’t help how closely he paid attention to the way the gold-flecked in her eyes lessened with her agreement, how her eyes slid shut but her chest still rose and fell too fast to achieve a proper meditation. He found his own worry easing now that the gnawing unknown fled from his vod’ika, leaving her as she was- exhausted and sick with worry, but Ahsoka all the same.

With a quiet groan, the clone rose from his seat, putting himself on the floor right beside her, legs folded beneath him with his head leaning against her knee, one hand resting against her ankle as he lent her his strength.

The Togruta’s hand dropped from the tabletop, curling against the plastoid armor at his shoulder before dropping to his chest plate, following a grove left from a battle she could hardly remember.

Rex’s breathing became more pronounced, giving her something to follow as her fingertips rested over his heart.

Eventually, her own breathing evened out, the Togruta seemed to slip back, away from the immediate stressors of reality as she dipped into the vast pool of life that was the Force, surely seeking answers or calm beyond what a mere mortal could ever provide.

“We’ll be okay, commander.” He grumbled, voice barely breaking the white noise of the air recyclers humming in the walls.

Rex didn’t know how long it took, or how much time had passed before one of Kaeden’s medics poked their head into the room, rousing both Clone War survivors from their separate stupors. He did know, however, that when he looked at Ahsoka, the gold in her eyes was gone, and that worrying gnawing on his heart had subsided as she rose from her seat to follow them back to the room aboard the frigate.

Kaeden looked as exhausted as everyone felt, all but collapsed into a chair at Shin’s bedside in the frigid room. Warmed blankets covered the frail body in bed, with a skinny wrist poking beneath the covers, tubes, and wires going this way, and that while medical equipment and droids beeped a symphony of life around them.

Warm brown fingers curled around Shin’s wrist, just above the length of bandages that curled around the girl's hands and up her wrists, grounding herself to the steady thrumming of blood in her veins as she waited.

“Kaeden,” Ahsoka greeted in a whisper, eyes taking over the room. The rest of the medical team had filed out on Kaeden’s request, leaving the family with much-needed silence.

“She’s okay.” Kaeden rasped, thumb brushing against the small patch of unmarred skin beneath her fingers.

Ahsoka crowded her field of vision when she knelt before her, taking her attention with soft eyes and kind fingers tapping against her chin. The question was silent, passed between the two women with a glance. “I’m okay,” she promised, free hand reaching to wrap around Ahsoka’s wrist, thumb pressing into the pulse point in a gentle swipe. “Get your girl.”

With permission, Ahsoka finally allowed herself to take in the sight of the child- her child as they laid out before her. Her hair was cut and shaved in a patchwork where the team had needed to handle the injuries that had danced across the delicate surface of her head. Stitches and bandages broke up the expanse of pale skin and bruises on their path to disappear beneath the thin shirt provided. Even in sleep, Shin’s face was contorted in pain, nose wrinkled at the smell of bacta across her bruises that permeated even her medically aided dreams, with small twitches and spasms firing through various muscles as the haze of sedatives wore down.

“ Oh, Shin. ” Ahsoka whispered, taking her place at her Padawan’s side, reaching out to ghost her fingers along the mess of bandages, careful to avoid the wires that let the humans hear the unstable thrum of her heart, to know that she was alive, to promise that she was there , with them, when the minuscule rise and fall of her chest failed to ease their concerns.

Ahsoka’s very bones seemed to rattle inside their prison of flesh and muscle. She recognized this for what it was- with each wave of pain that thrumemd in time with her heart beat, she focused on the feeling, the attachment, so dangerous to someone like her, like them . Even now, she could feel the way the ache for revenge itched under her skin, the way something darker whispered in her mind. You can make sure no one ever hurts her again .

Drawing her legs onto the chair with her, the Togruta repositioned herself, heavy eyes falling closed with the sound of Shin’s breathing and the beeping of the monitors tethering her to the world around her. She’d been down this road before, many years ago, had lost countless brothers and felt the same simmering danger under the surface, a poison that threatened to sink into her bones and take control.

Attachments led to pain, Jedi were taught to forgo all attachments, to let go and become something greater .

Something rumbled in Ahsoka’s chest, unknown, uncultivated, something the Jedi would have never bothered to teach her to understand, a feeling and a hurt so primal, unlike anything she’d ever known the dark side to be capable of- a low, keening sound escaped her lips. She was no stranger to the behaviors of Torguta, but she’d been left to assume that such a… visceral reaction to one of her pack being injured would have been long removed from her abilities.

The sound dragged Kaeden from her solemn reverence. She was familiar with the Force-Senstive’s silence when she’d meditated, had only ever heard the warrior speak in quiet words that commanded attention. Even injured herself, Ahsoka had never emitted such a noise, not in all the time she, nor Rex, had known her. And despite Shin’s own human biology, it seemed that the noise resonated in her, too. Enough for glassy eyes to crack open and a hand to lift just mere centimeters from the bed. “Meht.” Shin had croaked, voice barely loud enough to register past all the equipment.

To Ahsoka, though- The rasp in their voice was an answer, not just to the question pressing on all their shoulders, but to that deeper ache in her chest, lessening when she opened her own eyes and saw herself reflected in watery depths. “I’m here, Tazi Unt. ” She leaned across the bed until the tips of her Lek dragged against the scratchy material of the sheets, letting her fingers ghost over the sliver of skin that poked out of the bandages along Shin’s arm. “ You are here.”

She could feel the way Shin’s muscles quivered, the strain keeping her arm raised was taking. With a gentle press, Ahsoka succeeded in easing the girl's arm into dropping back into the bed, a look of relief- albeit minor in comparison to everything else, crossing their face, allowing the girl just a moment of peace.

It didn’t last, of course. Nothing good ever seemed to. The girls mind finally seemed to break through the barriers of painkillers, racing to catch her up to speed with the burning sting in her flesh and the fractures in her bones that ran deep enough to penetrate their very soul. “Ahsoka…” The woman blinked- Her name from those lips was wrong , yet she could not stand to correct them, not when she’d failed them as both Master and Mother. “Don’t…. Don’t lose yourself for me.” They grumbled, weariness dragging them back down as the weight settled back across her shoulders. “I’m… You’re not- I…”

A bandaged hand brushed against her lekku, making them both wince: Ahsoka in shock, and Shin in what could only be pain. “Hush now, Shin… Just. Get some rest, okay?” Ahsoka pressed forward until her lips came to rest at the crown of Shin's head, pulling back just enough to watch as exhaustion dragged their eyelids down and their breathing deepened into something as close to a restful sleep as any of them could hope to get anytime soon.

Translations Togruti Mi K’ya Ke Omak - I want to live Tazi Unt - Little one Meht - Mother d'bhem - love Tazi Grut - Little Hunter Mando'a Aliit - Family Jetti - Jedi Vod - Brother/Sister Ori'Vod - Older Brother/Sister Vod'ika - Little Brother / Sister

#Shin Tano AU #somewillwin #Ahsoka Tano #Shin Hati #star wars #fanfiction #read warnings

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skzhocomments · 5 months ago

Text

In the Dark - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Chapter 2 - Take my breath away

General masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

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Chapter 2 - Take my breath away

chapter word count: ~6.6k words

~Jieun’s POV~

Mondays are always the worst day of the week, as the weekend barely provides enough time to actually recharge and get my energy back after dealing with screaming children for 5 days straight.

I love my job, but teaching elementary school kids their 2+2s and ABCs is not exactly the dream, is it?

It was mine, though. I’ve always loved kids and found a lot of fascination in the idea of bringing up someone, in being able to shape a small person’s thoughts and ideas, in being able to perhaps influence them so that they would remember you 20 years later when they’re all grown up and successful. I wanted them to look back at this time spent with me in our small classroom fondly, to create a safe space for them so that they can grow up into the best version of themselves.

It's still my dream, but the problem is the money, that is hardly enough for my current expenses. Ever since my grandmother got sick, I knew I had to uproot our lives, and I brought her here, in the biggest city of our country, after managing to secure a job as a teacher at a small school in a quiet neighbourhood, so that she can have access to the best healthcare. Her hospital bills and meds, though, combined with my rent and food, are a fatal combination for my paycheck.

But you know the saying: desperate times call for desperate measures.

I was no different, and I knew that if my grandmother were to ever find out what I was doing in order to keep her hospitalized with 24/7 care available, she would at best disown me, at worst kill me with her bare hands.

inthedark.com

A website where you would essentially apply to become a high-end prostitute. A site that’s supposed to keep your identity completely private, and your clients’, too.

I joined this website one week ago and had my first client last Saturday, and for just two hours with him, I got almost half of my school paycheck. He also tipped me 200$, which was crazy. Who tips a prostitute that much?

I shouldn’t be doing this, I know, but what was I supposed to do? Let the person who raised me pass away in pain, when I knew she could get treatment to help her live a decent life for a few more years?

I lazily got out of bed and headed to school. It was 7:30 AM, and the school was just a few minutes’ walk away.

I liked to get there earlier so that I could rearrange the kid’s seats and make sure my classroom is perfect. We had an art contest last week, and I wanted to put all the paintings on display on the wall for the kids to see. I wanted to set up my cookie jar as well, because the best way to start the day for anyone would be with a nice little treat.

“Miss Park, good morning!” The director of the school, a lady well in her late 50s was inside of my classroom and welcomed me with a big smile on her face. Next to her, a tall, slim good-looking man holding a little girl’s hand smiled as welcoming as the director.

“Good morning, Mrs. Wang. What brings you here so early in the morning?” I returned their smiles and nodded briefly at the man, then turned my attention to the little girl hiding behind her dad’s leg. I waved at her, but she only hid her face more.

“Well, we have a new transfer student. Dear, won’t you introduce yourself?” Mrs. Wang tried to get the little girl to talk and looked at her expectedly. “Come on, we don’t have the whole morning!” She continued, making the little girl turn her head away, and a frown appear on her father’s face. Forcing a shy kid to say anything would prove pointless, so I tried to diffuse the situation.

“Actually,” I started, “we do have the whole morning. What a beautiful day to get to know each other, don’t you think?” I smiled brightly and took a few careful steps towards the dad-daughter pair, letting myself fall on my knees to be on the same height as the girl.

“Well, I’ll let you handle this. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Choi.” The director smiled and left the room.

After the director left, the girl seemed a bit less tense. Her father caressed the back of her beautiful, long, brown, curly hair, and spoke kind words.

“It’s okay, baby. You can tell the nice teacher your name.”

The girl still shook her head, and her dad started apologising. “I’m really sorry, she’s not normally like this. Her name is-”

“That’s fine.” I cut him off. “We can learn each other’s names later, isn’t that right, beautiful?” I smiled at her lovingly, and she finally looked at me for a few seconds. “I have something really tasty for you and your future classmates.”

I rummaged through my bag and pulled out the large bag of chocolate cookies that I baked yesterday. “But I have to put them in that big jar on the desk. I’m not sure I can do it alone. Would you like to help me put the cookies in the jar? You can have two cookies if you help me, but it has to be our secret.” I whispered and placed my index finger against my lips, then winked.

The girl seemed excited, as she nodded eagerly with a bright smile on her face and ran to the desk. I followed her, and gave her the bag of cookies, letting her put each cookie into the jar; a simple activity that helped calm her down and warm up to me.

“Wow, you’re so good at this!” I praised her, and she chuckled like the innocent kid she was, reminding me of why I loved children so much. If I would ever have a daughter, I wanted her to be just as cute as this little girl who’s happily putting cookies in the jar one by one with her little hands.

“Done.” She smiled, showing me and her dad her work proudly.

“Well done, baby!” Her dad praised her as well.

“Now it’s time to eat a cookie!” I clapped my hands once, and the girl took some cookies out and came to me and her dad, handing them to us. Of course, we accepted and started eating them, as the girl grabbed a cookie for her as well and munched on it joyfully.

“How is it?” I asked the girl, watching her devour the treat.

“Tasty!” She exclaimed, making me and her dad look at each other and chuckle. “I love chocolate!”

“I’m glad you like it. I made them myself!” I boasted, then chuckled again. “My name is Park Jieun. I’m really happy to have you join my class, and I hope we’ll be best friends.” I told the girl, who nodded and replied.

“My name is Choi Nari. It’s nice to meet you, Miss Park. Can I hug you?”

“Of course, come here!” I positioned myself back on my knees and opened my arms to her, squeezing her tight. She was the sweetest little girl.

“Where will I sit?”

“Hmm, how about this seat here?” I went next to the first desk next to the window and pointed to the seat on the left, which hasn’t been occupied. “Your deskmate is a sweet girl just like you, and I think you’ll get along great.”

The girl happily ran towards her seat and her dad followed her, placing her small backpack on the table.

“Okay, Nari, daddy has to go to work.” The man spoke kindly. “I will come pick you up at 4, okay?”

“Okay daddy! I love you!” She waved.

“I love you the most!” He smiled and waved back, and I saw him out of the classroom.

We walked for a bit, and I closed the door behind us, giving Nari privacy to take out her stuff in peace and arrange them on her desk.

“Thank you so much, Miss. Park. Nari already seems better.”

“Nothing to thank me for, Mr… Choi?” I tilted my head and smiled, unsure.

“Oh, yes! I apologise, I completely forgot to properly introduce myself earlier. My name’s Choi Minho.” He nervously scratched his nape and handed me his hand, which I shook.

“No worries.” I chuckled. “May I ask why you transferred Nari in 2nd grade?”

“She… has been bullied at her old school, and…”

“Oh no.” I frowned. “I’m so sorry.”

“I hope she’ll be better here. She really seems to like you. Please take care of her and let me know if anything happens.” He bowed slightly.

“Of course. Please don’t worry about anything. She’s in good hands.” I assured him, and he raised his head.

Opening up his coat, he took out a small business card and handed it to me. “This is my number, please call me anytime if Nari needs anything, or if something’s wrong. Sometimes I’m a few minutes late to pick her up, but I’m going to try to be here on time. Still, could I also have your number in case I’m running late?”

“Of course.” I smiled and typed in his number from the business card in my phone, shooting him a quick text with my name.

“Thank you so much, Miss Park. I see kids are already starting to come, so I’m gonna leave you to your job. Have a nice day!”

“You too, Mr. Choi.” I smiled and stepped back into my classroom, where Nari already finished arranging her notebooks and was now excitedly looking at all the paintings on the walls.

Damn, the paintings! I cursed in my head, remembering I wanted to stick the ones from last week’s art contest on the walls, but it was already too late to do so.

Children started buzzing into the classroom, their parents holding their hands tightly and kissing their chubby cheeks goodbye, as the next time they would come pick them up would be in some many hours from now: 6, 7 or even 8, to be more precise. Even if the classes ended at 12, the school I secured a job at gave the working parents the possibility of coming late for pick up.

When the parents were gone and the whole class was seated, I asked Nari to come in front and I helped her introduce herself, making sure that she felt as comfortable as one shy child could in a new environment.

2 AM found me drinking tea on the small sofa in my rented apartment. Normal people would sleep this late on a Thursday night, but here I was browsing through people’s forms in Requests on the In the Dark app.

Meeting Charisma last week got me a lot of money, and ever since then, I’ve received a few requests from others, but I’ve been pretty reluctant to meet up with anyone else. Charisma set the bar quite high. Not only was he fit as fuck, which I could tell just by roaming my hands on his chest and perfectly sculpted abs and muscles, but he was genuinely good in bed too, not selfish, made sure I felt good and even made me cum, which was a first for a random hook-up, and certainly not what I expected when I signed up on inthedark.com as a prostitute.

His special requirements were also normal, compared to the others I’ve seen which were at best degenerate. I kept rejecting other ‘applicants’, but I wasn’t sure if I should keep my expectations high or just go with whoever was willing to pay the price I gave myself.

It felt horrible, objectifying myself like that, having to decide what my body sells for and actively selling it away. I have become just a trash toy for someone to use as they please. I have become damaged goods, an object purely crafted for sexual function. I have become dirt, and I was now a dirty woman.

inthedark.com was, after all, a dirty place stinking putrid. Even if the font was a fancy Centeria Script, the name shining in golden letters on a black screen, even if it looked presentable, drawing you in with every click, promising all and any fantasy, wild, rough sex under the pretense of a poor woman’s factual desire, it was just a filthy site, gaudy and cheap, like any other brothels out there. The more it seems to shine, the more it’s actually teeming with decay.

The only good things this site offered were how private everything was and letting me at least make the choice myself of who to sell my body to. There were extensive documents everyone who wanted to become a member – be it customer or whore – had to provide, from medical records to personal information that was stored to be used against you in case you would violate the terms and conditions. They would sue you to oblivion if you so much as brought a source of light in the room.

At least that.

It was private and it was safe from a medical point of view.

The first (and only) customer I had was this Charisma dude, who, as I said, set the bar in the fucking sky. He was respectful and treated me more like a partner than like a mere prostitute, even if he didn’t want to kiss me.

I understood that, for I probably was, in his eyes, a dirty whore who fucked men for money.

Still, I was really grateful that my first customer was Charisma. He didn’t know how many demons I was battling while letting him touch me and while touching him. He didn’t know how much I hated myself for disposing of my principles in exchange for my grandmother’s hospital bills. He didn’t know any of it. Still, he treated me with care. He didn’t degrade me more than I was already degrading myself, and I was thankful for that, because otherwise I didn’t know how I would’ve been able to live with my regrets and with this guilty feeling pressing down on my chest every time I breathed.

7 requests to go through. I sighed, still unsure if what I was doing was the right thing. I didn’t want to fuck strangers for money, in fact, I was always against women flaunting their tits and asses and pussies to earn some, but then again, I think there aren’t too many people that geuinely want to do this kind of work anyway, and how else was I supposed to get more money without it affecting my day-to-day life and job? It’s not like I could go get hired somewhere else and work another 6 hours per day for the whole month, just to get the same pay check I made after a few hours of sex.

Still, I really didn’t want to accept other forms. Charisma’s money was going to pay for my grandma’s care this month, so I could technically not get any clients until next month without any issues.

Yes, maybe I should just reject them all and whatever comes next month, I will take.

Another sigh left my lips as I looked at my now cold cup of tea, just as a ping forcefully pulled me out of my thoughts.

1 new notification – inthedark

I pressed on it and a new request popped up.

It was Charisma.

---

CHARISMA – personal form

THINGS I ENJOY: Hello Flame, I was hoping I would see you again this Saturday. Just like I mentioned in my last form, I love everything intimacy-related.

THINGS I DON’T WANT TO DO: No kissing on the lips, please.

CONDOM / NO CONDOM (if you pick the NO CONDOM option, you have to attach a report of a recent medical check-up that ensures you don’t have an STD): no condom

SPECIAL REQUIREMENTS: Feels weird to communicate this way, but not knowing who you are and you not knowing who I am is probably better for both. I’m really sorry for the dirty question, but… how’s your gag reflex? I would love to fuck your throat if you’d let me :) Of course, that doesn’t mean I will forget about you.

---

Charisma wanted to see me again on Saturday night. He booked 4 hours this time.

I really didn’t want to accept other forms. But if it’s him…

I think… I might just accept it.

Why not?

He was great in bed. He paid attention to every part of my body.

He held me afterwards.

Why not?

I started reading through his form and found it very funny how he used each column to have a ‘conversation’ of sorts. All the other clients would simply write what they wanted or didn’t want, forgetting there was a human being on the other side of the form.

He even wrote please, for fuck’s sake. Did he forget I’m just a whore?

Of course, that doesn’t mean I will forget about you. He wrote that. Why? Does he want me to enjoy the sex that badly? He could just use my throat to get off and not even touch me at all, and it wouldn’t have mattered, because he doesn’t pay me to enjoy having sex with him. He pays me so he can cum inside or on me. So… why did he feel the need to mention my pleasure like that?

Is he also having second thoughts about this whole prostitution-thing?

Maybe I’m also the first harlot he’s seeing. What a funny thought. Maybe we’re just the same. It wouldn’t be so implausible, since his touches were so unsure at first, I almost felt like laughing. Shy in a whore house. Pfft.

I liked Charisma. He was a good customer to have.

I could just think of him as my fuck buddy to ease my guilty conscience, and if I would only see him, and he would hire me at least once a month, I wouldn’t have to fuck any sleazy guys. I could keep my dignity – in some way, anyway. This felt like cognitive dissonance, but it helped me not beat myself up over having a different guy pay me every week to endure him fucking me.

At least I enjoyed it with Charisma.

Yes. Okay.

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FLAME – personal form

THINGS I ENJOY: Charisma, I really appreciate you booking me again. :) I’m quite happy, actually, to know you’ve enjoyed our last time together. Of course, I’m going to take care of you and hold onto you for the whole night. ;)

THINGS I DON’T WANT TO DO: I don’t enjoy pain, but you can slap my ass (please?), and even my face – not too hard! – if you’re into that, if you make sure you won’t leave any marks.

CONDOM / NO CONDOM: no condom

SPECIAL REQUIREMENTS: My gag reflex is not so bad, but it might take some time to get used to you. Please take it slowly at first. If I can’t take it or need a break, I will tap on you three times.

---

Saturday came by quickly, and I was pacing back and forth around the dark room while waiting for Charisma. It was funny, really, not ever seeing how this room looks like in the light, but they’ve informed me when I first came here that the lights in the ‘bedroom’ stay off all the time to prevent any accidents from happening. Only the hallway is illuminated, and that light turns off automatically as well as soon as you press on the bedroom’s handle.

When I arrive here, the bedroom door is already open, so I have to walk into the room and shut the door behind me, which is when the mechanism starts working. The client then comes in the hallway, opens the bedroom door, and all lights in the whole place turn off. When the time is up, we hear a small bell sound, and I have to exit the room back into the hallway and close the door behind me.

The door locks automatically and the light turns on, and there is a clean white bathrobe waiting for me on the small shelf in the hallway. I must dress myself in it, then leave to another room on another floor, so that my client has the same privacy as I do. In that other room I can shower and chill out while a staff member brings me my clothes, previously discarded on the floor.

Now back on what happens to the client after I leave. The bedroom door would get unlocked, and he would have to go into the bathroom and clean up as well. While he does that, the staff member quickly collects all our clothes, and they leave the client’s on the small shelf in the hallway, and they bring mine, as I said.

Neither of us meets the staff members face to face. We sometimes hear them rummaging around, but we’ve already been instructed on the app prior to the meeting that we have to pretend they’re not there, and not try to meet them at all. Their identities are private. They have the same right to privacy as we do.

My clothes are brought to me in the hallway of my new room while I sit on the bed and watch TV or eat and drink stuff from the mini bar, but only after my client has left the building for a long time. Last time it took about 1 hour for my clothes to be brought to me, and I spent that time glancing around the room at the ugly yellow wallpaper with gaudy flowers on it, and the boring brown furniture. I wondered if the room Charisma and I used looked as disappointing as this one.

At least everything was clean.

I don’t know how long I waited for Charisma. Probably 20-something minutes, as I got here way earlier than I should’ve. I sat on the bed for the first many minutes, but I got bored and sleepy, being surrounded by complete darkness, so I decided to get up and just walk around the room, see if my hands recognise any décor from the room I did see.

My heels were getting uncomfortable, and I don’t know why I decided to wear them. I could’ve worn sneakers. My stupid brain just thought in a leap of judgment that this slutty short skirt I was wearing, that left virtually nothing to the imagination, fit way better with a pair of high heels. Both were black, but of course, I was the only one who had that information. The staff member that would have to pick them and my soaked wet panties from the floor and bring them to me would have it as well, in about four hours from now.

When the door finally opened, Charisma’s scent invaded my nostrils, just like last time. The perfume he used must’ve been expensive, but I didn’t recognise it.

Instead of waiting patiently for him to figure out where I am, like I did last time, I decided to be bolder and headed towards him directly. My eyes were already adjusted to the darkness in the room enough to be able to see shapes. Of course, there was no visible source of light, but it wasn’t pitch black either, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to notice where Charisma was.

He was a tall man with a nice build, and he frankly turned me on, thankfully.

When I got in front of him, he stopped moving, aware of my presence, and I pressed my hands on his face. If he were my date, or at least my hook-up or one night stand, I would’ve kissed him, but I knew better.

I knew he didn’t want it. Why did I want it? It made no sense.

I would’ve done it, though.

I would’ve raised on my tiptoes, even on these uncomfortable high heels, and I would’ve smiled at him and told him a small ‘hi’, and then I would’ve pressed my lips against his, and I would’ve let him stick his tongue down my throat and kiss me over and over while our hands would erratically grab each other’s bodies, for both of us were full of desire and wanted to feel a little bit closer.

But my contract doesn’t allow me to talk, and he doesn’t allow me to kiss him, and I don’t know why these thoughts even went through my head, because what genuine desire could there possibly be between a customer and his whore, besides purely sexual tension for a release?

He held my hands with his, that were still on his face, and he grabbed my right palm, letting my fingers brush over his lips so lightly, a feather must’ve felt heavier. Then, he pressed a gentle kiss on my fingertips, and my heart started beating faster, irregularly, uncontrolled.

He pulled my body into a hug and caressed the back of my hair as if he would’ve said ‘I missed you’, as if I were his lover, and I embraced him back, as confused as I was, feeling my head get lighter as I felt deprived of oxygen. He took all of it out of my lungs with such simple gestures.

When we separated, I started roaming his body with my hands, taking off his coat and unbuttoning his shirt slowly. We let all those useless garments fall down and I started kissing his neck and chest, biting his skin slightly, his small moans every time my lips touched his body turning me on way too much for him to just be a client that pays me to have sex with him. Who knew this could be so enjoyable to me?

Since I was meeting him for the second time, I already knew my way around his body, his firm muscles, where I needed to touch to make him squirm under my fingers. He was burning hot and he smelled good, and all my senses were intoxicated and full of him, so it was too easy to fall on my knees and unbuckle his belt, to take his already hard dick in my mouth.

Did I excite him that much for him to already be hard after just a few love bites on his chest and stomach?

As soon as my mouth made contact with his member, he let out a small groan. I wondered if his head was rolled back, if his eyes were closed, if he wanted to watch me suck his dick. If we would’ve seen each other and he would’ve looked at me, would’ve I looked right in his eyes to watch him become fucked up with the pleasure I’m causing?

What colour were his eyes? Brown? Green? Black?

I worked his dick down my throat to the best of my abilities, painfully aware of his written request of fucking it tonight. I wasn’t necessarily good at deep throats, but with enough ‘training’ and patience, I think I would be able to take a good fucking, even if it would leave my throat sore the next day.

Charisma was thankfully patient, for now at least. He let me suck him off the way I wanted to, his small moans would compliment me and encourage me to keep going, and his large hand on the top of my head was there just to caress me, not to push me or hasten me in any way.

He showered beforehand; much to my delight, he tasted good, and he was well groomed. This, combined with the fact that his body was sculped by some Greek God, made me wonder why he came to see a prostitute in the first place. It shouldn’t have been difficult to get any dates.

Maybe he’s ugly.

The thought sounded wrong in my head. Somehow, I didn’t even want to imagine this a possibility, for it was simply impossible for Charisma, who treated me so gently, who smelled so good and was so tidy, who certainly spent years in the gym to train this perfect body under my fingertips, to not be good looking.

Maybe he looks like that dad of the new girl in my class. He is handsome enough, and they seem to be of similar heights anyway.

A dangerous thought came through my head, but I tried to get rid of it as soon as it came.

Use Choi Minho as a visual representation of Charisma. He’s hot and handsome, and they’re the same height.

Of course, doing this to my mental health wasn’t a good idea. Charisma was Charisma, a faceless man I enjoyed fucking whenever he wanted to meet me.

I should never navigate on that territory of imagining him to be someone I know in real life that I see every day while he drops off and picks up his daughter from school. He’s probably married anyway, and I’m not a homewrecker. Not intentionally, at least. Charisma might be married too, but I didn’t feel any rings on his fingers last time we met. Of course, men are men, and he could’ve just taken it off, but even if he didn’t, it wouldn’t have mattered, because he was paying me for the few hours spent together, and I couldn’t get out of the agreement anyway.

I continued sucking Charisma off, and I started getting used to the pressure down my throat. Even if I was choking a bit on my saliva that was now uncontrollably smearing my face and falling on my clothes and probably on the floor, the feeling in my neck wasn’t that unpleasant, and I was glad that I didn’t feel like throwing up.

Charisma must’ve felt it too, because he grabbed my face and pulled away, then helped me stand up. He used his hands to clean up my chin, then helped me towards the bed. I laid down, my head on the edge of the mattress, as he aligned his dick with my mouth.

I opened wide, but he hesitated for a bit.

Is this okay? Is what his hesitation made me think he wanted to ask, if he were allowed to talk. Of course, he signed the same forms as me, so we weren’t allowed to utter any more than desperate sobs, moans, grunts and whines, but that’s what it felt like he was asking, so I placed my hands on the back of his now naked thighs and pulled him towards me.

He pushed his dick in my mouth, and I took it in fully, and he stayed there, balls deep, for a few seconds, taking my breath away. Then, he pulled out and I caught my breath. He didn’t leave me too many seconds to do so, as he entered my mouth again and started keeping a steady pace of fucking my throat deep and quick while holding my neck with his right hand. He squeezed and I felt myself become a bit too deprived of oxygen, and while it made my head dizzy, it also gave me euphoria, so I found myself moving my own hand towards my pussy and starting to rub it slowly through my underwear, while Charisma was using my throat as his personal fleshlight.

I was becoming sensitive and felt myself wanting to cum, but my head got so dizzy, I was focusing hard to keep myself present in the moment and not faint from the lack of air in my lungs. I stopped rubbing myself and raised my hand to cover Charisma’s on my neck, as I was almost at my limit and didn’t think I could take it anymore.

I held onto his hand for a while, and he stopped squeezing my neck and held me back as his pace started becoming sloppy, and I knew he was close. He moved his other hand on my left breast, groping it and squeezing it through my blouse and bra.

I shut my eyes tight and fought the urge to tap his hand three times to make him stop, decided to only do so if I really couldn’t take it anymore.

However, there was no need for me to do so, because he came down my throat soon after I held his hand, with a loud grunt that sounded heavenly to my ears, and he removed his dick from my mouth, proceeding to probably kneel down and pressing a kiss on my forehead.

If I were his date, and not a mere whore, would’ve he kissed my lips instead?

I took the next few minutes to recover from the intense face-fucking I’ve experienced and let the air slowly make its way back in my lungs, while Charisma grabbed a bed sheet or some other fabric and wiped my face clean with one hand and touching my hair soothingly with his other.

You did a good job. That’s what his touches felt like, and I felt cared for.

After a couple minutes of breathing in and out, I grabbed Charisma’s arm and pulled him towards me, letting him know that I’m ready for whatever he wants us to do next.

He started by pulling me up to sit on my ass so he can take off my blouse and bra with ease, then he palmed my breasts and kissed spots on my neck and collarbones while pinching my nipples softly.

I let a soft whine escape, and he made his way down, riling my skirt up and only removing my panties. He pushed my legs open, and I became aware of how wet I was. He ate me out last time we met as well, and I tried to focus on how good his tongue felt on my clit, and not on the fact that he must’ve considered my lips to be dirtier than my pussy; otherwise, why wouldn’t he want to kiss me?

His tongue moved carefully between my folds. He was experimenting each spot that made me moan, he teased my entrance before moving back to my clit and sucking on it ever so gently, and he seemed to relish on all the sounds I was making, for he let out some small moans as well every time I would clench around nothing.

Two of his fingers brushed my lips and I opened up my mouth again for him to stick them down my throat, covering them in saliva, just so that he could move them against my entrance and explore my insides with them, as if they wouldn’t have slid easily enough with how wet he made me, anyway.

He continued licking up my clit while his fingers curved mercilessly inside of me, grazing the sweet spot inside, driving me over the edge and bringing me to what was probably the most powerful orgasm I’ve ever experienced in my life.

He continued licking me and fucking me with his fingers, and the pleasure started becoming overwhelming, even painful, so I put my hands in his hair and grabbed it as hard as I could, making him move away from me.

He kissed my thighs while I moaned and moaned, trying to get back from my high, then he kissed my lower stomach and made his way up on my body, as if he wanted to kiss me everywhere, to not leave any patch of skin untouched.

Once he was completely on top of me, his dick brushed against my pussy, and I felt how hard he became once again. He kissed the crook of my neck as he pressed his dick inside, and I let out a loud whine, as he didn’t leave me any chance to get used to him inside of me. He started thrusting strongly, earning a loud moan each time he would bottom out inside of me, and I let my head roll down, falling out of the mattress while he was buried in my neck, biting it and sucking on it while fucking me hard.

I felt my second orgasm creep in, and I came loudly, unable to control any sounds coming out of my mouth. Hearing me, Charisma grunted and soon enough I felt his warm release inside of me as well.

He collapsed on top of me, and we just breathed for a little while, together, synchronised, letting our chests rise and fall and touch, our faced hovering mere centimetres away, his lips so closed to mine, his breath against mine so warm. It would’ve been so easy to cross a line, but he specifically asked to not be kissed, and I really wanted to see him again, to have him fill me up and take care of my body’s needs.

Eventually, Charisma moved away from on top of me and guided me in a normal position on the bed, head on his shoulder similar to last time, and started caressing my hair slowly, kissing my forehead, slowly dragging his fingers on my arm, making my skin get goosebumps.

I enjoyed staying like this with him so much, even more than the sex. It felt like we were close, and I let my right hand feel his heartbeat against his chest, and I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The bell sound painfully woke me up from my slumber, indicating that our four hours were over. Reluctantly, I got up from Charisma’s shoulder and sighed, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back down, hugging me tightly, before releasing me.

I didn’t want to overthink it too much. He must’ve just been grateful I let him cum down my throat and in my pussy. That’s all.

I made my way out of the room and closed the door behind me, which obviously locked, and the light turned on.

I grabbed the white bathrobe hanging on the shelf in the hallway and went out, heading towards my new room I had to use until Charisma completely left the building.

Once inside the new room, I went straight to the bathroom and glanced in the mirror while taking off the robe. My whole skin was stained with purple marks going from my neck to my breasts and my abdomen, and I traced each of them with my fingers, until I reached the hem of my skirt.

I was still wearing it. Charisma didn’t take it off this time, for some reason.

Seeing myself like that, naked, in only that damn short slutty skirt, covered in love bites, my hair and make-up a mess, and knowing I’ve just been covered in saliva and snot hours prior by some strange man I was meeting for money for the second time already, I really felt like a dirty whore.

Looking in the bathroom mirror was a rude awakening to this fact, and no matter how much I wanted to trick myself into thinking that Charisma’s nice gestures were genuine attraction towards me, my dishevel hair and this short skirt brought me back to Earth.

I was nothing special. I was just a whore.

A nobody.

Dirt.

---

MEETING REVIEW FORM by Charisma

Rate Flame from 1 to 5 (lowest to highest): ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Were all your special requirements fulfilled? (Leave empty if not applicable): Thank you for everything, Flame. I felt amazing. Tonight has fulfilled so many of my fantasies. Let’s do it again sometime.

What did you enjoy? -

What should be improved? -

Would you like to tip Flame? (Any amount you write will automatically be deducted from your Card after submitting this form. Leave empty if you don’t wish to tip your host): 300$

Thank you for using our service!

---

MEETING REVIEW FORM by Flame

Rate the interaction with the customer from 1 to 5 (lowest to highest): ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Did the customer fulfil your special requirements? -

Tip received – 300$: Thank you once again for the tip, Charisma, and I’m glad to learn that you felt good tonight. I loved sucking you off, and you can fuck my throat anytime. We definitely have to do it again and let me know if there’s any other fantasies you want fulfilled. I’d be glad to be the one to fulfil them for you xx❤️

---

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

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beardyboyzx · 11 months ago

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2023 writing self evaluation

I was tagged by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed, thank you!! <3

1. List of works published this year:

May in my head we can love forever | Explicit | 1.2K, Girl Direction, Harry/Louis -- written for @wankersday

waving to the hard times | NR | 80k, A/B/O, Dystopian AU, Harry/Louis, Liam/Zayn -- written for @onedirectionbigbang [first part of a two piece series]

August I ain't ever fell from a love this tall | G | 733, Liam/Zayn -- written for @wordplayfics

September It's a rush inside I can't control | G | 764, Werewolf AU, Louis-centric -- written for @wordplayfics

you are the magic in me | NR | 2.8k, Magic AU, loosely inspired by BBC Merlin, Liam/Zayn -- written for @wordplayfics

so pretend (pretend) | NR | 1.9k, loosely inspired by White Collar and Catch me if you can, Harry/Louis -- written for @wordplayfics

November to wake up by your side is all I wanna do | G | 1k, AU, Niall/Zayn -- written for @theshowficfest

In 2023: I've published 7 works and a total of 89,283 words!

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

My Big Bang! I love that story so much, I'm still a bit sad I had to break it in half, but I'm still so proud of how it turned out (@aestheticlarrie's poster is such a masterpiece, I can't help but love that story more because of it <3) I didn't think I could pull it off -- the world building, the characterization...it all looked so intimidating while I was plotting it. But I did it. And I'm happy about it.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Weirdly enough, there is nothing I'm the least proud of. Not even the ones I've written in a rush because of my poor time-managing skills lol

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

This bit from waving to the hard times keeps coming into my mind, every now and then:

Louis closes his eyes, taking in a few shaky breaths. He doesn’t want to cry. People will pity him if he will and he hates it. Hates being known as the orphan child, the one who was crying in his mother’s arms as they stood at his uncle’s side twenty-five years ago. He hates being remembered for it, being depicted by the newspapers as a symbol of overcoming grief. Because he’s found out that you can never overcome grief. You just live with it being a big part of yourself, letting it shape you while trying not to let the bad days get to you. Louis also hates not being able to be honest about it just because he doesn’t want to be coddled.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I can't share them, because they contain spoilers, but there are some comments on my big bang that really made me trust my (creative) writing skills a bit more! <3

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Right after I finished the first part of my Big Bang. It was pretty hard for me to write, so much so that I had to drop out from a few fests because of it

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Oh, I think Niall from (once again) waving to the hard times surprised me a lot. I didn't know he would turn out to be like that! But I loved him so much.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I don't really know. I re-learnt to let my mind wander and my fingers write without overthinking. Which is something I usually do when I write in Italian and that I used to do when I first started writing in English.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I just hope to keep writing what I like and for it to keep being something I love.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Hello, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed <3 She's been there for me for every writer's block, metaphorically taking my hand whenever I had to drop out of something, reminding me that taking a break was more than fine. Love you, Mia <3

@chai-hat-tea has been on my side for all the year by hearing my frustration and always cheering me up. Love you!

And @nooradeservedbetter, without whom I'd have been too afraid of publishing my dystopian au.

Last but not least, @bigxrig, @muldxr and @helznik who were my alpha/beta readers for my first two works of the year. Thank you so much, really <3

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Louis' grief and some bits of my political thoughts.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write what you like and don't forget to have fun while doing it!

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

I'm gonna tag @chai-hat-tea, @nooradeservedbetter and @hellolovers13!

#tag game #2023 writing self reflection

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eriquin · 1 year ago

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The Prophetic D&D Game, Part 7

Last bit of the second session. Who's going to get cursed next? I wonder.

(master post)

Part 7

As they argued that this was too many different ways to split the party, Eddie got up to check on the other two. They had come up with a list of things they were investigating, based on Grant’s note. He had them roll some dice for research and talked them through some strange reports from thirty years back. He gave them the name of one suspect. Sir Englund had been accused of the murder of his family but declared insane after saying it was due to a demonic influence. He was still in the asylum, so they decided to catch up with the rest of the group and share their knowledge.

“Let me see what the freshies have come up with first,’” Eddie said. “I’ll see how hard it’ll be getting the band back together.”

“Don’t you hate juggling this many stories?” Grant asked.

“Au contraire, my friend,” Eddie said. “I am a jester at heart. I love juggling.”

He slunk back to the main table, where the freshmen were talking quietly among themselves about what to do next. They looked up when he arrived.

“Okay,” Mike said. “We’re going to wait until Natalia’s back to ask her if her friend had symptoms. Meanwhile, Sadie is going to break into Grace Manor to look for a diary or something while Gaten and I play lookout and possibly provide a distraction.”

“Or a quick getaway,” Dustin said. “We have horses, right?”

“I think you might have a pony,” Eddie said, ruffling his hair. “But yes, you have fine steeds for a fast escape, if need be.”

He walked Lucas through a quick raid on a noble house. Sadie was good at hiding and sneaking through the rooms, and quickly found her way to Lady Grace’s private chambers. They’d been searched by the guards, of course, but Sadie found some clues to bring back to the others. He scribbled down a note for Lucas and passed it over. Then he had him roll some dice to escape unseen. Lucas rolled poorly.

“When Sadie leaves the manor, she hears people shouting that they see someone sneaking over the wall. Gaten and Joe are waiting just around the corner with the horses—”

“And pony,” Mike said, snickering. Dustin grumbled.

“Horses and pony.” Eddie grinned. The intra-party bickering was fun, sometimes. “What do you do?”

“I run up to them, jump on the extra horse, and yell at them to get the lead out,” Lucas said.

There was some more dice rolling to be had, and Eddie ruled that they managed to get away without pursuit. They regrouped near the ranger’s station outside the east gate and met up with Maya and Natalia as well. With the party back together, they checked all their notes.

“So we have a madman who might have information about the last time this happened, which was thirty years ago,” Gareth said.

“And we have Lady Grace’s medical diary. It looks like she was having trouble sleeping and terrible headaches for some time, and then in her last few days she got some disturbing visions. She was seeing a healer about them,” Lucas said. He frowned as Eddie started writing down a note.

“Sure sounds like a psychic attack to me,” Dustin said. Eddie kept writing and didn’t acknowledge them.

Grant finally got his attention. “Natalia might know if Logan had anything like that happen to him, right?”

Eddie held up his finger. “One second,” he said. It was a very long note, and he finished it and folded it up tight. “Repeat your question, please?”

“Does my character know if the other murder victim was also under psychic attack?” Grant asked.

Eddie leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin. “You want to roll for it?”

“Do I have to? I mean, she’s got pretty high wisdom and obviously she’s very observant.”

“Yeah, fine,” Eddie said. Grant sometimes hated getting bogged down in the mechanics of rolling dice when role playing, so it was easier to let him present a quick argument for why, in character, he would know these things. “Do you want a note or...”

“You can just tell everyone,” he said, waving at the rest of the table. “I’m not going to keep it secret.”

“Natalia remembers Logan being squirrely and nervous about stuff. He didn’t complain about headaches, but over the past few days he was rubbing his head a lot and getting distracted. He definitely seemed off, but he didn’t talk about it.” The group nodded and started discussing what that meant, and how to figure out if more people would be affected.

Eddie got up and stretched his shoulders. It was starting to get late. They hadn’t had any real combat this session, but the players seemed satisfied with that. With the note he’d written tucked into his hand, he walked around the edge of the group as they talked through what the psychic attacks meant and how it tied into the past murders. Grant wanted to investigate the asylum, while Dustin said they should talk to Lady Grace’s healer. Eddie stopped behind Lucas and dropped the note into his lap. When Lucas looked up, he grinned and winked at him.

Mike noticed Lucas unfolding it and reading it over and got the rest of the table to quiet down. Lucas looked up at Eddie. “This happens now?” he asked.

“Mmm-hmm,” Eddie said with a nod as he returned to his throne. “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

Lucas gulped. “Uh, guys. I think I know who the next victim is going to be.” He gingerly tapped his own chest.

The room exploded in protests and Eddie leaned back in his chair and cackled at the chaos.

Tagging: @weirdandabsurd42, @10moonymhrivertam

#the prophetic d&d game #my writing #hellfire club #stranger things

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astridvalencia · 1 year ago

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1. Demand remains strong for coding-related jobs

What good is a strong salary if no one is looking to hire for the position? When it comes to coding-related jobs, it appears there’s still plenty of opportunity.

Here are the current BLS projections for employment growth in the same coding and programming-related professions:

Web developers: 13%

Network and computer systems administrators: 5%

Computer programmers: -7%

Database administrators: 9%

Software developers: 21%

When compared to the national average of five percent growth, you can see that a handful of positions are outpacing a lot of other careers. Computer programmers are an interesting outlier from this group, but some believe these projections are influenced by computer programming skills blending into other related in-demand tech roles.

While the role is still extremely valuable, more and more hybrid positions are being introduced into the workforce. This has resulted in less “computer programmer” job postings, and more opportunities that combine programming skills into other job titles.

2. Coding ability gives new perspective to problem-solving

“Learning to code has the inadvertent effect of teaching you how to think,” says Adrian Degus, CEO of Nuvro. He goes on to explain that he used to be more prone to solving problems emotionally. But his coding experience has taught him to approach problems logically.

“Understanding logic, at a deep level, has improved my problem-solving proficiency tenfold,” he adds.

Coding, in its most basic terms, is really just assigning a computer a task to do based on the logical guidelines you’ve outlined. Highly complex tasks are essentially a collection of smaller operations once you break them down. This methodical and logic-heavy approach to problem solving can be a boon for figuring out problems beyond a coding challenge.

Hilary Bird, senior developer at Get CenturyLink, agrees with this sentiment, saying learning to code has benefited her personal and professional life by encouraging her to take a step back and approach situations from a new perspective. “I can break problems down into small, separate parts and figure out how each is affecting the other,” she explains. “This helps me decide what area of the problem to focus on first.”

3. Learning to code offers career flexibility

Learning to code can help open up new areas of opportunity in your career and ultimately make you a more flexible candidate in a rapidly-shifting digital economy. Daniel Davidson, owner of Dan Design Co., started his career in print design but noticed he was consistently missing out on opportunities due to a lack of coding knowledge.

“The single greatest skill I have picked up for my professional life has been learning how to code,” Davidson says. “Had I not learned to code, I would have been out of work years ago. It’s been liberating and very lucrative.”

Davidson adds that even if your job doesn’t require you to have a deep understanding of coding or programming languages, it still helps because you’ll likely need to interact with another person who does. Learning to code, even as a hobby, can give you a common reference point and better understanding of those who tackle some of the more complex programming and coding roles out there.

4. Learning to code can be a fun bonding opportunity for families

How often do you have the opportunity to learn something practical and new with your kids? Parents with school-aged children have the chance to start from square one together as they learn the fundamentals of programming and coding.

“My 10-year-old son actually decided to learn to code around the same time I did,” Degus says. “It was a challenging but very rewarding experience. To this day my son and I talk coding over the dinner table, while the rest of the family makes fun of us for being geeks.”

Christopher Prasad, marketing manager at JookSMS, points out that involving your kids can be a great way to keep yourself accountable as well as teach them important skills as the value of coding will only increase.

“Schools in the UK have now actually introduced coding to younger children so they know what it takes to design apps, websites and more, and I think it's a brilliant idea going forward and developing the younger generation,” he says.

One excellent way to test the waters of learning to code is to practice with kid-friendly resources like Scratch, which gives both you and your child an introduction to programming fundamentals and systemic reasoning. This fundamental understanding will help you as you move on to more complex languages and applications.

5. Coding can be useful in jobs you might not expect

You might think coding and programming skills are only valuable for people working in highly technical specialist jobs. While it’s true that learning to code is more important for some roles, that doesn’t mean you can’t find practical ways to apply coding knowledge in non-coding jobs.

Software architect and entrepreneur Mark Billion says his coding knowledge has benefited him in unexpected ways as a business professional.

“We were able to use Python to code our advertising algorithms, which also saved us about $1,000 per month,” Billion explains. “So, if you are in business—any kind of business—coding is critical.”

The ability to code allowed Billion to automate menial tasks that ultimately saved him money. That’s a huge plus for small businesses where budgets are typically very tight.

For those who work closely with programmers and developers, learning the basics of coding can make you a much more valuable member of a team.

“While I’m primarily a marketer, having technical knowledge is one of the biggest assets I can provide my team,” says Jake Lane, growth manager at Press Cleaners. “Being able to make a change to the code base helps free up our developers to focus on the more important stuff and reduces development lag time.”

You don’t have to be a programming whiz to reap the benefits of learning to code. Knowing just enough to be useful can still be a positive asset in most business environments.

Putting coding skills to work

Why learn to code? As you can see, there are plenty of good reasons why coding is important. Whether it’s just for fun or as a form of professional development, you’re sure to enjoy the benefits of learning to code as you build a foundation of tech skills.

But you still need to know—how long does it take to learn to code? To answer this question, you’ll need to determine what kind of coding career you want to pursue. By exploring your career options, you can also find more reasons that answer—why should I learn to code? To discover promising roles in our digital economy, read our article, “9 Programming Careers for Coding Connoisseurs.”

#love programming #interest to learn coding

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hope-hui · 2 years ago

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Unit: Situated Studio Practices 2: The Independent Projects

Exercises

People's Experiences

Kayla (16)

My Dad passed away 5 months ago in April just 9 days before my 16 birthday. [...] A man finally entered the room holding a clipboard of documents. I prayed in my mind that everything would be fine and my dad would be awake in the room waiting for us. But, when the doctor told us he hated to be the bearer of bad news, I just sat there as he told us that my dad had passed away. I don’t remember much except the moments where I was brought to the room he was kept in. I hated how there were wires connected to him and a tube going down his throat. I couldn’t bare to look and he felt cold, unlike the warm feeling my dad usually had. Maybe a week after his death we finally found out my dad had a heart disease and died because of a blockage in his main artery causing him to have a heart attack. After my dads death, I found it hard to go to school yet I still managed. But I feel that a lot of people don’t understand what I’m going through and expect that now I shouldn’t be upset anymore which isn’t true. I know it’s hard and I still struggle today, but no one is alone and you shouldn’t feel ashamed to talk about how you feel or the loved one you have lost.

Michaela (24)

My family which consisted at the time of my parents, me, and my two younger brothers, were driving back home after church. My oldest brother needed to go to the library to work on some of his homework, and the rest of us went home. My mom had been sick with a virus for a few months at that point but she seemed to only be getting worse as time went on. [...] Then the death sentence came: Time of Death: 22:13." Coping for the next year or so was next to impossible and I hit rock bottom about 7 months afterwards, and took me another year to fully get out of that hole I was in. The pain of losing Mom is still there 5 years later and it is still just as intense as it was then, but I've gotten used to constantly bearing that pain 24/7/365.

Madison (13)

On July 28th, 2018 I lost my mom. The sherriff of my county came and knocked on my door while I was playing with my friend in the playroom. I thought my grandma had hit another telephone pole so I shrugged it off. When my grandma came to pick up all of my older and younger siblings except me and my older sister, I realized something was off. Me, dad, and my big sister headed to the hospital and he explained what had happened. I didn't shed a tear. My dad had said: “Hey Maddy I know you really love your mom so you have to come with us so she can see somebody. The Deputy hit her car.” I said “Okay Dad. I hope she's okay.” We drove an hour and a half to get to the hospital. We had gotten into the hospital at noon. I ran in and said my mommy was there. The nurse waited for my big sister and dad. My dad said the name and we were sent to a quiet room. The head doctor came in and said " I'm so sorry, she didn't make it." I was bawling but asked if I could see her. I got to give her a big hug and a kiss on the forehead. After that I haven't been quite the same. She was the biggest influence in my life. She was gorgeous and I'll admit, she wasn't perfect, but she was my mommy. In December My Uncle died, and My papaw died in March. I really wasn't ready for that. I don’t think I will ever be the same. In early July, my friend Danielle died in a car accident too. I will never think of anything like I did before. I will also never stop thinking about them. Grief is something you never fully go through, and that's okay. I loved them all, and the closure of knowing they loved me too, is what keeps me sane.

14 April 2023

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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

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(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 2)

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday (Part 1) Friday Saturday Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: panic attacks, swearing, puking, concussions, mentions of injuries/bullying, homophobia

Word count: 5,138

After school, you were sitting on the couch as you furiously typed on your keyboard at an extremely fast pace. You were on a roll with these essays, they were probably going to be finished by the time you had to go back to the school to get on the bus with the team. You figured that you could even finish Annie’s essay and get started on Sammy’s US history presentation on the sociopolitical climate of the United States in the mid twentieth century to today. However, instead of covering a variety of topics like the rubric requested you to do, you were only going to talk about the significant events that happened to the LGBT+ community starting with Stonewall and going to Obergefell v. Hodges. You were also going to go in depth about how even if there are more opportunities available and more laws set in place to protect for LGBT+ people in the present then there were in past, members of the LGBT+ community still suffer heavy discrimination in the workplace and in the public. With receipts of course, the assignment required a minimum of three pictures per slide, and the group chat was a perfect source.

After that was done, you would email Sammy’s teacher (you had her last year for US history and you knew that she had a son in the grade below you currently transitioning from female to male) that you were the one that did her project and send screenshots of Sammy calling you slurs. Luckily for you, you had receipts of her being transphobic in the past that you could also send. Everything was effortlessly falling into place for you today.

As you were typing, the front door swung open and two overly excited fifth graders ran into the house and up the stairs. A tired Schlatt followed them. “I will never know how the hell Phil keeps up with them.”

“I dunno, maybe because he’s already raised three kids before.”

You watched as your uncle jumped and whipped his head over towards you, his hand clutching his chest. He lightly glared at you, “christ kid don’t do that, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

You smirked at him before turning back to your laptop to continue typing the essay. You were almost done with the conclusion paragraph on Annie’s essay and you wanted to get to Sammy’s presentation as fast as possible. As you were typing, you felt a warm air fan across your neck and your uncle’s voice right next to your ear, “whatcha typin?”

You lept off the couch and almost fell into the coffee table before steadying yourself and deadpanning at Schlatt. “I was typing an essay before you interrupted me.”

He snorted, “it looked like you were on a roll, just thought I’d see what my beloved niece was writing. Can I read it?”

Your eyes lit up as an excited grin split your cheeks, “yeah, but lemme catch you up real quick. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie got mad at me a few days ago and wanted me to do some homework for them as a sort of payment. But after they pulled that little stunt in the lunchroom yesterday, they decided to be little bitches to me and call me slurs. So naturally, I decided to change the essay prompt into an in depth analysis about discrimination LGBT people face from their peers on the daily. My english teacher’s really against homophobia and the project’s worth twenty five percent of our overall grade, so it’s perfect.”

While you were rambling on and on about your detailed plot for revenge, Schlatt couldn’t help but be proud of the person you’d become. A major part of him was impressed that you came up with a detailed plan so quickly, that meant that his cunning nature was rubbing off on you and that made him ecstatic. Sure you mentioning not being straight was new to him, but he was prepared to accept you for whatever you identified as. He didn’t care how people identified, he just cared if they were good people. And his niece was one of the best kids he knew. He’d let your slip up slide for now until you felt comfortable enough to properly come out to him.

“That an amazing plan, fuckin brilliant. Though, you could do more.”

That piqued your interest, “I’m listening.”

“Do you have any blackmail?”

Your eyes glinted with sudden understanding, “why yes I do, uncle dearest. I just so happen to have thousands of texts from them talking shit about each other and basically the entire school. And them being incredibly racist. They would be destroyed if that came out.”

“Two things. One, never call me that again. Two, perfect. Keep it as leverage if they try to do something. You don’t pull out all the good cards in the first round, you wait for the right moment to strike so you can win. You need to constantly defend yourself against other players and anticipate their every move. If you leak everything right now, you won’t have anything to use against them if they have something up their sleeve you didn’t know about. Patience is key in things like this.”

You absorbed every single word that came out of his mouth like it was the holy gospel. Although he was your uncle and you loved him with all your heart, but he was a sly bastard when he wanted to be. He knew his way around fighting and manipulating people just right, so you were incredibly happy that you were on his good side and he absolutely adored you. Though questionable and morally gray, he was giving you advice because he cared about you and you’d be an idiot to not heed his advice.

“That’s genius, Uncle Schlatt. What would I do without you?”

“You’d get along just fine without me, you would’ve gotten there eventually. You’re smart. I’m just givin you a little push in the right direction.”

“I honestly would’ve never thought about waiting, I was so dead set on getting revenge that I would’ve just leaked everything all at once. I want them to feel how I felt when they were around me. I-” you paused. Would this make you the same as them? You’d be screwing up all their grades, Adrian’s job, and Sammy’s athletic career. You came to the chilling realization that you’d be the same as them. You’d be as manipulative as they were. “...Uncle Schlatt, would that make me the same as them?”

“Fuck no! You’re always gonna be better than them no matter what. When they’re at their best, you’re always gonna be a whole lot better than them. They deserve what’s happening to them, it sounds like they put you through so much shit the past few years. I actually think you could do a whole lot worse to them if you’re willing to put more work in, but it’s your plan and if you think that what you’re doing is too much,” he darkly chuckled, “you wouldn’t like my idea.”

“You’re right, they deserve everything I have planned for them. God, I don’t know what I was thinking, ‘would that make me the same as them,’” you mocked what you said earlier, “what a load of shit. Anyways, thanks Uncle Schlatt. I’m gonna get back to writing this. They’re due tomorrow and I wanna finish as much as I can before I have to go.”

“Alright, whaddya want for dinner? Phil’s gonna be like thirty minutes late from work so I’m cookin tonight.”

Oh no. No, no, no, no. That man can barley cook boxed mac n cheese, let alone anything else. He’d burn down the house if you left him alone in the kitchen with the stove. “On second thought, why don’t I help you with dinner? We can make some chicken alfredo.”

“Awe, you’d rather hang out with me than finish your homework? Ya really do love me. C’mon let’s start.”

The process of making dinner was… interesting. Multiple times, Schlatt almost spilled boiling water on himself and he even managed to burn the pasta while it was in the water. How he even managed to do that you’d never find out, you had your back turned cutting up vegetables and herbs at the time. That was when you subtly started to take over in the kitchen, giving him smaller tasks while you handled everything else. You felt bad for Tubbo, his father can’t cook for shit.

By time you finished, about an hour passed and Philza had come home and changed out of his work clothes. The two adults sat at the table discussing something that you didn’t pay attention to while your brothers and cousin were in the living room waiting for you to finish dinner. Finally, you set the table and it was time to eat.

Because you couldn’t have many fatty foods before any matches or practices, you had made a separate plate for yourself that only had plain pasta, chicken, and broccoli. You were surprised with how well it turned out, you were following an iffy recipe you found on the first link Google brought up.

After dinner, you went upstairs to put your uniform on and pack a little bag full of things you might need: a small blanket, some snacks, a water bottle, and a portable charger. Oh, and fuzzy socks and a pair of crocs. You could never go wrong with fuzzy socks and crocs. Feeling a vibration in your pocket, you pulled out your phone.

Hales : )

(Y/n), I’m omw to your house

Gonna give you a ride to the school

(Y/n)

Hales you don’t have to give me a ride, I can drive

Hales : )

Don’t care

Omw, be there in like 7 mins

You swiped out of yours and her conversation and opened up the family group chat

(Y/n)

I don’t need a ride to the school, Haley’s giving me one

She’s gonna give me a ride home too

Dadza

Alright, thank her for me

Tell her I said good luck too!

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

Dadza

(Y/n), do everything he wouldn’t do

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck you I’m a good influence

Dadza

You’re really not

Wilby

^^^^

Technology Sword

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck all of you

You heard Haley’s car pull into the driveway and dashed out of your room with your bag. Just as you put your hand on the doorknob, a hand stopped you.

“Coat.”

You grumbled as you reached past Philza to grab your coat. After you slipped it on, you were pulled into a hug. “You’re gonna do great out there. I know you’re gonna win this, we’ll be watching in the stands.”

“Damn right she’s gonna do good, she’s my niece after all.”

Schlatt pulled you away from your father’s hug and tried to ruffle your hair before you swatted away his hand, “don’t. You have no idea how long it took me to get a perfect ponytail. I have an ungodly amount of hairspray and bobby pins in my hair right now.”

“Fine. You’re gonna kick their asses tonight.”

Tommy and Tubbo pushed past Schlatt and both tackled you into a hug making you stumble slightly back.

“Kick their asses good (y/n)!” Tommy cheered, making you crack up before one stern glance from Philza completely stopped you. “Tommy, don’t say that. (Y/n), not funny.”

“Alright, Haley’s waiting for me. I gotta go, love you guys!” As you turned to walk through the door, you could hear your family following you and shouting “good luck”. You felt heat creep up on your cheeks as Haley rolled down her window and wove at your family with the biggest grin on her face.

“Thank you! We’re gonna take home the gold for sure!”

You hopped in her car as she rolled up the window and chuckled. “I love your family, they’re always so full of energy. It’s refreshing to see compared to how boring my family is.”

You glanced at your entire family gathered on the front porch. Tommy and Tubbo were practically vibrating with excitement, Wilbur and Techno calmly smiled and wove at you, Philza was grinning widely at you as you saw his mouth forming words that you couldn’t hear or read, and Schlatt was grinning cheekily at you. You raised your hand to wave at them as they vanished from view when Haley pulled out of your driveway. You smiled softly, “I love em too.”

The car ride was relatively quick with the same soft indie pop music floating from the speakers and an easy going conversation with Haley about the match tonight. You both thought that you could beat the other team if everyone focused 100% and played exactly like you guys did in practices. If everyone did that, you would be unstoppable.

Luckily for you and Haley, you were the first ones in line to board the bus so you two got the back seat with Zara and Jazzy sitting across from you guys. The hour long bus ride passed quickly and lively with you four passing around your phone and playing some mad libs, you were sure that by the end of the last game you four were laughing and crying. Sometime in the middle of the trip, you noticed that Haley would start to lean on your shoulder and continuously glance at you as she laughed. You desperately wanted to believe that it was because she liked you, but she was straight and she was your best friend. She was probably trying to make sure you were having a good time.

When the team had gotten to the opposing school and left the locker room to stretch in the gym, you could hear your family start to scream your and Haley’s names from the front row next to you, Tommy and Tubbo being the loudest amongst them with Philza trying to get them to quiet down so you could focus. You felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at them and Haley wove enthusiastically back at them. Zara was laughing at you two. Stretching went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were on the court facing the opposing team.

The first match was won by the opposing team by five points. The second match stretched on and on until it was won by your team narrowly by two points. The team was going to have to shape up in the third match if you guys wanted a chance at winning, the opposing team was good. Before the third match started, Coach Williams called for a time out so you guys could talk about strategy. Before Haley could go back onto the court, you pulled her aside.

“Hales, we need to do what we practiced. The other team won’t be expecting it at all, I’ve been setting you up this entire game. They’re never going to expect you setting me up for a spike.”

“When are we going to do it though? We need a better plan.”

“I’m sure the opportunity will come and both of us will recognize it. We just can’t do it too early in the game though, that’ll ruin their surprise.”

“(Y/n), I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“When do I not Hales? We gotta get gold this year.”

The third round went by with both teams constantly swapping places until you both were tied fifteen to fifteen. You saw the ball flying towards Haley, giving her the perfect opportunity to set you up for a spike. “HALEY NOW!”

You watched as her face hardened in determination as she pretended like she was going to spike it by jumping high in the air and stretching her arms back, making the opposing front row players all gather in front of her. Much to their surprise, she launched it towards you as you leaped up and went for the kill. The stinging of the ball hit by your wrist and the smack sound the ball made when it slammed onto the open gym floor was something you’d never forget as the crowd around you went wild over the unexpected play. You could hear the high pitched screaming of Tommy and Tubbo over everybody else. Glancing at them over your shoulder, you saw them jumping up and down on the gym floor and looking at you with awe filled eyes and gaping mouths. The rest of your family looked at you with similar expressions, their cheers echoing in your mind. Winking at them, you turned back to your team and went straight to Haley. Clapping a hand on her shoulder, you pulled her into a quick hug, yelling over the raving of the crowd. “HALEY WE NAILED THAT!”

“HOLY SHIT I DID NOT THINK THAT WAS ACTUALLY GONNA WORK!”

“You have such little faith in your setter! You wound me Hales.”

“Well, I would have more faith in you if you weren’t chaotic on the court, sweetheart.”

You felt yourself surge in happiness at the nickname, but you couldn’t afford to focus too much on it. Your team only needed one more point to win best in the state and go to nationals. It would be the first time in your team’s history if you reached national level, and you’d be damned if you were the one to screw it up for them.

The last rotation went on for a while, each team fighting tooth and nail for the state championship title with clashing determination. You tried your best to block every hit and try to set Haley up for a spike, and you were successful for the most part, only missing a few blocks. You saw the setter adjacent to you set the spiker up for a spike and jumped up in time to try to block it, your arms stretched upwards and your palms out. Only, the ball didn’t hit your hands. It collided painfully with your nose, ricocheted off your face with a thwack and sailed over to the other side of the court. Your head whipped back as your body followed suit and flew backwards onto the floor. Without giving you any time to react, your head bounced back and cracked against the polished hardwood floor of the gym. Everything went black.

“...(y……”

“..(y/n)......”

“(Y/n).”

You faintly heard someone calling someone’s name over the continuous ringing noise. Was it your name? It felt right, so it had to be your name. You peeled your eyes open to see a blurry figure hovering over you. It was swirled with tans, browns, and backs. After a while of the figure repeating your name, it slowly became more recognizable, albeit appearing twice in your vision. It took you a while to figure out who this was before your muddled brain recognized Haley.

“Hales! There’s two o’ya. Twice as beautiful babe…” You slurred out as you attempted to smile at her.

“Oh thank god, PLEASE WE NEED A DOCTOR SHE HIT HER HEAD!” Her usually angelic voice gritted against your brain like sandpaper making you cringe as pain exploded in your head.

“God babe you’re so loud, why’s so bright? I-wha's goin on?” You blearily tried to move your head to look around only to be stopped by a pair of large hands on each side of your head gently holding it in place. You moved your laggy eyes around to look at the figure. He was a blonde man with blue eyes and a hint of stubble on his chin. His eyebrows were knitted together and he looked… he looked… your brain worked to figure out why he looked how he looked. Who was he?

“Please don’t move hun.” His muffled voice was baritone. You squinted at him trying to figure out who this man was.

“Who th f-fuck… why?”

“I’m your dad hun. Do-do you not recognize me?” You made a noise in the back of your throat as your stuffy brain finally put a name to the face.

“Dad- wha’s goin on? I’on feel so good…”

“Shh, I know, I know. Just stop moving and talking. Everything’s fine. I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Mmk… Dad, where are we? I’ont know- you’re so quiet.”

“Stop moving so much. You’re on the floor in a gym. You just won your team the state championship. Now stop talking please.”

Huh. So that’s why everybody seemed to appear from above you. You strained your eyes to look around you, but you could only see your dad’s face hovering above you. “Shit I- who’s aroun’ me? Where’s Hales?”

“I’m right here sweetheart. I got the doctor, Mr. Minecraft.”

Your dad’s face moved away from your vision so fast that it made your head spin and your stomach twist. Another face appeared above you that you once again didn’t recognize.

“I’m Doctor Martin, can you tell me your first and last name?”

“Uh, (y/n) Minecraft?”

“Good, what month are we in right now?”

“Nov-November?”

“Close, it’s late October. Can you tell me who this,” he pointed to your dad, “is?”

“S’my dad Phillip.”

“That’s your dad Philza.”

The questioning stopped as he suddenly shined a blinding light into your sensitive eyes. You hissed as you tried to move your head away from the offending light only to be held in place by your dad’s hands. Your head spun as you moved too quickly and a wave of nausea hit you, making you groan and move your arm to cover your eyes. Your hand was stopped by something warm and soft wrapping around it and holding it tightly. Everything was so overwhelmingly and painfully bright and loud. You wanted to make it stop.

“Mr. Minecraft, your daughter appears to have a concussion. I don’t have the tools on hand to determine the severity of it, but it’s worrying that her pupils are asymmetrical, she’s delirious, and has slight memory loss. I understand you live about an hour away from here, and it’s alright for you to take her to a hospital closer to your house. Make sure you keep her alert.”

Your delirious mind only registered about half of what came out of the doctor’s mouth. You mumbled gibberish as you once again opened your eyes to look around. You were only briefly able to crane your neck to the left. Several figures large and small were standing behind your dad. Your family, your mind supplemented. Slowly, your mind was starting to recognize your surroundings even if there was currently double of everything and everything was blurry.

“I’m going to help you stand up. Do ya think you can do that?”

“Yeah Dad.” You lifted your upper body off from the ground with a gentle hand on your back helping you sit up. Fighting the wave of nausea that slapped you in the face, you reached up to rub at your eyes. A hand once again stopped you. You peeked your eyelids open and lightly glared at whomever stopped you. “Hales you’re lucky you’re so cute I woulda slapped you. I like holdin but you’re bein annoying. Stop.” You attempted to make your voice sound firm, but the words that came out of your mouth were slightly slurred.

She was silent as she helped her dad haul you to your feet. Once on your feet, you saw the room spin and felt yourself start to sway slightly. An arm wrapped itself around your shoulders and pulled you close to them so that your weight was supported. They were a little taller than you were making it easy to lean on them.

“...Can you walk?” A deep, monotone voice rumbled the chest of the person you were leaning against.

“Mhm. ‘M not weak.” Though your limbs felt like they were made of molasses, you placed one foot in front of the other slowly. The person moved alongside you, “you’re doing so good, keep going.” That sparked familiarity in you as you stopped in your tracks and tried to look up at the person you were leaning against making the person tighten their arm around your shoulders when you almost fell over.

“Tech?”

“Yeah, it’s Technoblade. Just focus on walking. You’re almost out of the gym.”

When you realized that you were out of the gym, you sighed in relief. It was so much quieter and darker. Though it was still relatively bright, it was better than the gym.

“S’better.”

“When we get her to the car we can give her some sunglasses or something if it’s still too bright for her.”

“Wilbs-”

“Focus on walking.”

You huffed in irritation, “don’ tell me what to do bitch.”

You felt Techno’s body jolt slightly as he chuckled, making your head throb at the sudden movement. “Just walk.”

When you walked outside, you shivered as you felt the cool air nip at your exposed skin. Right, you were in your volleyball uniform. “I’ll go pull the car around, you guys stay with her.”

You saw a tall brunet start to walk away from you. Uncle Splat? Uncle Schmat? Whatever his name was, you were sure he was your uncle. You tried to snuggle closer to Techno, craving warmth but never being satisfied. Where was your uncle?

After a while, you saw a car moving towards you and blinding light pointed right at you making you cringe away and groan. Techno started to slowly walk towards the car. “C’mon (y/n), you’re almost there. When you’re in the car you can relax.”

“Tommy, Tubbo, and Techno, you’re in the back row. Schlatt can drive and Wil, you’re taking the passenger seat. I’ll stay with her in the middle row so she can have some room to lay down.” Tommy and Tubbo were with you? Why weren’t they talking, they usually were very vocal.

“Tom, Tubbs didja like the game?”

They didn’t say anything as they climbed into the car. Did they not hear you?

“They’re just… tired (y/n).” Your dad’s voice reassured you as he took Techno’s place holding you up.

“I wanna nap. ‘M so tired.”

“You can’t sleep yet. We gotta get you to a doctor first.”

“Mm. Makes sense.”

“Let’s get you in the car hun.”

As he helped you climb into the car, you felt an overwhelming wave of nausea wash over you making you lose your balance and almost faceplant into the cloth seats. You felt yourself being gently, yet urgently taken out of the car and led to grass as you felt your esophagus shorten. Something burning made its way up your throat and spewed into the grass. You felt someone rubbing your back as you puked up your dinner.

When you were done, you reached up with a shaking hand to wipe your mouth. “You feelin better? Think you can get back into the car or do you need to sit down for a bit?”

“Car.”

After some difficulty, you were successfully in the middle row of the car laying down with your head on Philza’s lap. Soon enough, your shoes were taken off and a blanket was draped over you.

“(Y/n), what do you remember?”

You scrunched up your face as you squinted at Philza’s face. “I remember playing volleyball with Hales. She’s so pretty, she’s straight though. I remember the other team hitting the ball, me jumping, then nothin. Wha’ happened?”

You watched as Philza winced, “well, you got everything right so far. You got hit in the face with the ball so you fell and hit your head on the floor. You were passed out for a minute before you woke up. It was a pretty nasty fall, we’re going to the hospital now. How’re ya feelin?”

“Head hurts, ‘m seein two of everything, an I can’t think.”

“Do you know what a concussion is?” You nodded in his lap slightly, “you probably have one.”

After a while of talking, you were slowly starting to come to your senses and your speech was clearing up, but your head was still too stuffy to think about what you were saying before you said it. You didn’t have a filter.

“Do you wanna tell us about your week so far? Do you remember most of it?”

“Mhm, it was shit. On Monday I had a panic attack and Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were being bitches to me all day. They fucked up my back. On Tuesday, they got mad at me for ditching them and they had me do their homework, had another panic attack, and Haley told me that someone took pictures of our boobs ‘n stuff and they were gonna leak it to the school if Haley didn’t stop hanging out with me. Haley and I almost kissed, but she’s straight. Pulled an all nighter and Wednesday I accidentally came out to Tech and Wil and had another panic attack. Annie, Adrian, and Sammy took more pictures of me through my window, Annie outed me to the entire school and slapped me. Another panic attack, skipped the last two classes and felt like shit the entire practice. Today Adrian and Sammy told me to kill myself and I had another panic attack. ’S about it.”

As you were going through your week, the hand that was previously gently stroking your hair had frozen as the car was enveloped in a tense silence. Luckily, Tommy and Tubbo were passed out in the back seat so they didn’t hear how bad your week was. Everyone awake knew that you had a few bad days this week, but they didn’t know the full extent of it. You watched as Philza’s expression had turned downright murderous, but you didn’t really care. You were busy talking about your week.

For the rest of the car ride, Philza asked you simple questions like what your favorite color was, your favorite animal, basically your favorite everything. Eventually, the car pulled into the hospital parking lot and Philza helped you get out of the car. “Schlatt, can you take the boys home so they can get some rest? I’ll stay with her.”

“Yeah, I’m on it. Don’t cause too much trouble (y/n), we all know you can raise hell.” He watched you for a reaction, but when you didn’t react, he coughed. “Well, I’ll see ya later kid. Good luck.”

The car drove off leaving you and Philza at the front of the emergency room building. “It’s gonna be a long night (y/n).”

“I gotta finish Annie’s essay and Sammy’s presentation though.”

“No you don’t, I’ll email your teachers.”

You two checked in with the front desk before moving to sit on the uncomfortable chairs. It was going to be a long night. You were so tired.

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bloodbenderz · 4 years ago

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Can I ask what your season 1 Lok reboot looks like?

this is about 3k words i checked lmfao dont say i didnt warn u

a key part of the whole thing is that korra gets way more perspectives and more experiences representative of like, normal people in republic city bc i think something that really defined what a good avatar aang was was how many people he met and got to know and how he didnt exclusively or even mostly associate w cops and bureaucrats and leaders. so mako and bolin. well first of all their backstories are a little more fleshed out and we get a less black and white view of the “triads” (lol) and mako and bolin’s experiences w them. cuz the show very much does the whole thing of like Criminals Bad but dont worry even tho mako and bolin did commit crimes theyre not Criminals!! so just a little more nuance on the alleged gang problem and the poverty in the city

korra does start out very naive w very black and white ideas (ex. “you guys are CRIMINALS?”) i think a really good way of developing her away from her sheltered naive worldview is putting her in whats clearly an incredibly complicated city w an absolute cesspool of political conflicts, ethnic tensions, the lasting effects of colonization, etc and having her try and understand the needs of “the people” in a more complicated way than “i have to save the good guys from the bad guys” ykwim? and i think the absolute WORST way to do that is what they did. bc we get mako and bolin who could contribute genuinely compelling thematic elements to the story: one parent who was indigenous and one who was from a colonizer background in the decades directly following the end of the war, kids who grew up in poverty apparently without any familial support, and who now are trying to be “respectable” members of society (especially mako). and then most of that is pretty much tossed aside bc asami swoops in w her capitalist dad and her piles of money and the class issue is just never talked about again.

so the way i’d fix all that is like. introducing more, like, normal people. some nonbenders, more workers, more immigrants, etc, to show what daily life is actually like for people. because. we dont know! we dont have any context about whether the nonbender oppression thing is actually an issue bc we dont KNOW any nonbenders with normal lives! and spoiler: the nonbender oppression thing is not an issue. bc it doesnt make historical sense. lok is set 7 decades after the end of the war. that is not by ANY stretch of the imagination long enough to heal from the scars of imperialism, ESPECIALLY not when lok is also set in a settler colonial state. like that fact should have featured PROMINENTLY in the political and social setting! realistically, nonbenders arent an oppressed class, earth and water nation people are, regardless of bending status! as in all settler colonial states, the colonizers and their descendants (in this case fire nation people) retain most of the financial and political capital, leaving the colonized and racialized immigrants (in this case earth kingdom and water tribe people respectively) generally impoverished and politically suppressed. like aside from the fact that theres no way toph would have become a cop, it’s so ridiculous to think that an established privileged class of fire nation colonizers would EVER accept being policed by earthbenders!

imagine how much more nuanced and interesting it would be to set republic city as a remnant of a colonial past still fraught w the violence and tension that colonialism and the associated ideology imposed?? instead of some vague ideas of criminal who wear 1920s outfits and harass shopkeepers think about why extralegal and violent groups like that might form! earth kingdom people trying to push for the reclamation of their land? ethnic groups protecting themselves against corrupt cops? ESPECIALLY w the history that the fire nation has of SPECIFICALLY jailing and killing earthbenders and waterbenders BECAUSE of the potential they have to resist against fire nation imperialism like it just makes no sense at all that earthbenders would be privileged on land that, 70 years ago, they would have been imprisoned on! like these various paramilitary groups falling along these different ideological or ethnic lines, fire nation or earth kingdom or water tribe, pro colonization or anti colonization, pro cop or anti cop, pro immigrant or anti immigrant, and then you juxtapose that w depictions of a govt thats failing to keep this all under control w tenzin trying desperately to keep it together despite the fact that it’s becoming increasingly obvious that the state has no interest in taking the conflicts seriously and would rather just point vague fingers at criminals and gangs? and THEN you bring in korra, who has no idea about any of this and thinks that all its gonna take is kicking some ass every couple days, meeting normal people who offer all kinds of different opinions abt the efficacy of the state and the different violent or nonviolent groups and ideologies clashing in the city and the way all this shit is affecting people’s lives and livelihoods and relationships w other citizens??

theres so much good shit there so many incredible things u could do w that like Where do we go after colonial atrocities? is it possible for a settler colonial state to take revolutionary or indigenous ideas seriously? is liberal reform enough in a state like this? and then all the growth that korra could do going from a simple black and white life about mastering the elements to this messy complicated sociopolitical knot of a city? and all the different kinds of characters u could introduce in this city? like why would u EVER think that the most interesting characters that this story has to offer is a police chief a congressman and a billionaire????

but anyways. that’s what the Setting of my idealized version of lok is. as for the actual plot, it is as follows

it starts out similarly as the show. republic city is MUCH more fraught w political tension and violence and korra knows this but assumes that it’s just a matter of throwing a few gang leaders and corrupt officials in jail. tenzin manages to come see them in the south pole and intends give korra real lessons while he’s there but they receive news of a terrorist attack in republic city only a few days after he gets there so his family has to pack up and leave again.

korra stows away to republic city (katara catches her leaving and gives her blessing im a SUCKER for that moment). she does have a hard time adjusting but she doesn’t do what she did in the show lol the first person she meets in the city is this older woman who works on the docks, directs her to a place where she can eat and gives her a roof to sleep under for the first night. so korra’s first exposure to republic city is just about forming connections w ordinary people like ship workers and a family owned restaurant and people practicing their bending in the park. and by the time she reaches air temple island a day or so later her head is spinning w all this new information and the way that nothing is really what she expected it to be. tenzin gives her his own perspective on everything and pema gives her her own perspective on everything and even those two seem wildly different from all the people she’s already met. and so korra starts to get a kind of outline of the conflicts plaguing the city as extremely complex and a lot more influenced by older ideas of fire nation imperialism and earth kingdom land reclamation than she had any idea about.

mako and bolin are still pro benders but not like. super famous like they are in the show. korra’s picked up a couple friends by now and one of them takes her to a gym where a lot of amateur pro bending (is that an oxymoron? lol) matches happen and thats how she meets mako and bolin and joins their pro bending team. Unfortunately for korra, this gym is run by lin beifong, and also has the distinction of being one of the most notoriously anti settler state organizations in the country. lin beifong is NOT a cop but she runs this gym (and the pro bending league) as a way to offer support to local earth kingdom/water tribe youth, teach self defense skills, a center of community organizing, and sometimes to act as a front to hide revolutionary/combat organizing against the pro fire nation paramilitaries/police force. tenzin is DISTRAUGHT that korra does this and this is where the friction btwn them comes from bc (from tenzin’s perspective) she does things like this without thinking or even fully understanding the context behind them and tenzin will have to deal w the political fallout of the avatar openly aligning herself w a very divisive figure in the community and (from korra’s perspective) tenzin is too unwilling to take sides in a conflict that’s claiming lives and when the state is clearly not taking sufficient steps to protect people well then why the hell shouldnt she align herself w lin beifong, who IS taking steps to protect and support people?

as korra more fully integrates herself into the city and learns more abt how different people think abt everything going on this is where the real exposition abt the equalists begins. they’re a paramilitary group w an ideology thats gaining increasing support among middle/upper class fire nation people, esp nonbenders. on the face theyre abt putting checks on “bender oppression” but really it’s an excuse to persecute and surveil earthbenders waterbenders and airbenders, bc fire nation people have all this leftover fear about benders who arent fire nation Rising Up Against them and these people who r using their Savage Excuse for Bending to terrorize good innocent (fire nation) people. theres all too frequent terrorist attacks that the equalists claim credit for mostly against monuments to earth/water/air nation people and earth/water nation community centers (one like it was the event that forced tenzin back to republic city) but also like the govt doesnt take a lot of these seriously or if they do only a couple people are charged without doing damage to the entire organization

this is also around the time that they meet asami and she becomes part of their friend group. asami likes pro bending but her dad HATES it so she sneaks out to watch matches at lin beifong’s gym (korra says ironically like don’t u know how ~divisive~ that is and asami answers that the only reason its Not divisive is that gyms like beifongs are the only place where nobody recognizes her). and asami alongside korra is also kind of developing a more nuanced perspective on the city that she lives in cuz obviously the only worldview she’s ever been exposed to is her father’s right? and she keeps pushing it off making excuses not to bring mako and bolin and korra around to her house or even not to be seen w them in certain neighborhoods until they call her on it and she’s like Well honestly my dad might do something awful to u! and i dont wanna risk it!

and as time goes on we see more abt asami’s home life like her father’s hyper conservative politics and asami keeps these secrets abt her hobbies and her friends from him but she’s still clearly under his influence and mako bolin and korra r getting increasingly worried abt it cuz like...asami seems to tend to make excuses for him so that she wont have to be drawn into conflict and originally they think its just her being privileged and thats def part of it but the more they find out abt it the more they realize what a tight fucking grip he has on her and the way that like. asami sneaking out once or twice a week is the Only thing she does for herself. and it really starts freaking them out how influential this billionaire is and all the information theyre getting from asami abt what a piece of shit he clearly is. and so that whole plot thing comes about and shows us how deeply embedded these “equalist” ideas are in conservative republic city politics and how much influence theyre actually having in policy making and law enforcement.

asami suffers in the aftermath of this like being forced to truly confront the harm her father is doing both to the city and to herself. and she ends up leaving home when this discovery really breaks. but bc of the deep corruption in govt and police sato isn’t really....dealt with? like this big story breaks and everyones like Oh, My God! Hiroshi Sato Is Funding An Illegal Paramilitary Group! and theres all kinds of inane political discourse about it and he’s arrested but he bails himself out immediately and his finances are examined but he maintains control over them and after a few weeks the gang (bc they Have become close among all this w much less interpersonal drama lol) has to admit that this news story hasnt done what they thought it was going to it hasn’t dealt the equalists a real hit its just given them a very high profile ally

and this is when things really start to ramp up in terms of action like up until now korra’s daily activities are mostly like hanging around in the city w her friends (which in part entails doing little avatar stuff that people dont feel comfortable going to police with, like Can you help me my ex husband wont pay child support or Please help i got robbed and i really needed that money for rent next month or Help my son keeps skipping school can you talk to him cuz im worried abt him being safe and doing well in school) and pro bending and airbending lessons (which i know ive neglected this part of the story in terms of her whole spiritual/physical conflict but it’s more of a subtle thing like it’s one of tenzin and korra’s more frequent arguments like tenzin says she needs to focus on spirituality and korra asks why she even needs to bc republic city is a sociopolitical problem not a spiritual one) but now the equalist threat seems to really be looming on every level of society like the storyline of equalists preventing pro bending matches happens here and everyones just at a total loss of what to do next. plus increasing and scary rhetoric about tenzin and his family that destroying the last airbenders is necessary to preserving the integrity of the united republic

and so theres the equalist takeover of the city. the people who are mostly resisting this are lin and ragtag group of people who have been resisting colonial rule for a long time (including suyin, who is part of a communist anti colonial community outside the city, because i said so and i think it would be fun), people who have been visiting her gym for years, members of her amateur pro bending league, plus asami and korra and tenzin. korra and tenzin have a sweet moment (bc they do genuinely care abt each other a lot even if their relationship has been marked w a lot of tension and arguing) where tenzin says like you know i think that ive lost focus on the kind of spirituality that might actually help you. korra says what do you mean? and tenzin kind of gestures to where theyre sitting with people buzzing around organizing to take care of innocents and civilians and to fight the equalists and he says this is a kind of spiritual too, isnt it?

and something something plot plot blah blah i havent decided on the details of the plot climax yet but that’s the climax of korra’s character development and what helps her connect w her spiritual side in order to protect the city: the realization that community is its own kind of spirituality. and it kind of represents the real development that i want her to have going from somebody who thinks that the world is divided into criminals and victims and she has to save the victims Into the kind of avatar who understands the people that she’s bound to serve. she becomes an avatar of the people!

and then happy ending lol korra and asami get together lin and tenzin reconcile after years of being at odds the show ends on a hopeful note that the inhabitants of republic city and the united republic as a whole Can move on from the scars of colonialism by reckoning w the remnants of fire nation colonial ideology and reparations to the earth kingdom people whose land this is and destruction of colonial systems that have maintained and enforced colonial violence all these years

#the ending of this isnt as detailed as the beginning and middle bc ive drafted the first couple chapters but i havent thought out the #logistics and details of the climax lol #asks #lok

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cutegirlmayra · 4 years ago

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Hiiiiii, I rly like your writing X3 I was wondering if you’d answer this question: What is your interpretation of what SEGA is doing with SonAmy as of right now? Seems like it’s becoming more and more canon. I know you’ve done similar question before, but could you maybe just answer this for 2021? Thanks!💖💙

No problem! And thank you, lovely Anon~<3 I love writing for the feels~ But also for the accuracy to be as close as possible if I can manage it! First of all, they’ve always been canon? Maybe not ‘in-world dating’ canon but canon in the sense that they are a official SEGA advertised couple since the get-go.

Amy was created to literally be in the slot of ‘Sonic’s Girlfriend’ where she had feelings for Sonic and always a fun mystery as to decipher Sonic’s subtle ‘returned caring’ for her.

As for 2021 we are so FREAKIN’ HAPPY to hear that SEGA is FINALLY marketing the two and VISUALLY SEEING the sales of their ‘couple shirts’ and the like make some profit. Furthermore, we have long-time fans and professionals in the careers within SEGA also vocalizing that they don’t mind the couple and even support it. With less emphasis on the ‘fandom fanatics’ of the raging past and more so on the fantastic marketability and popularity the couple brings to SEGA’s exposing their main IP, it’s become almost common ground to expect more and more people liking romantic and suggested romantic couples in all ranging medias.

We need also mention the alarming rate of the worrisome numbers in Japan recently. Conducted studies have shown that most of Japan’s population is elderly, and in the very near future (About 5 years or so) a good chuck of Japan’s population will die. This means the Japanese Government is promoting more and more companies within both entertainment, advertising, etc. to be more ‘promoting family’ in their media. Japan needs more babies! And guess what?

Mario Odyssey comes out with a completely ‘Wedding themed’ video game.

Dramatic romantic underlying's in Zelda’s new game.

Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s focus on romantic underlying’s along with Cloud willingly saying (English version) “Do I have any say in this?” As though to fight the idea that romance can’t happen and-

Kingdom Hearts 3′s romantic underlying that literally has a song (Japanese) talking about rings and getting married called “Chikai” or also ‘Oath’ that in English is rewritten to a romantic song about going deeper into love called “Don’t Think Twice” but literally has the two ‘making their fates intertwined’ in a symbol of ‘romantic intentions’ such as marriage or even just fidelity in a relationship.

So? How does all this influence the latest Sonamy supersonic boom we’ve seen in the media recently?

Although Sonic is his own character, he’s also only 15 (But as many of you have seen in Anime, Japanese ages of appropriateness are different then our own cultures and societies) we see faint glimpses. In the mostly American-made Sonic Boom t.v series, the comedic moments of Sonic and Amy are very much to a genre of American audiences and how we view ‘funny love’ should normally be marketed as. (I don’t always agree with what they say, but that’s how they’re trained and believe the ‘trends’ go... so ... can’t argue with professionals? Eh? -I personally think they’re outdated *cough cough*)

Sonic is not one to express feelings in overly dramatic ways which is common place in American television and media, but he’s also got a ‘boy’s heart’ which means we won’t see a lot of things from him BESIDES ‘romantic underlyings’ that are probably going to be initiated and themed mostly and primarily in Amy Rose’s character (If at all shown or expressed.)

For these reasons, I believe SEGA is just hopping on the bandwagon and doing what they’re told, while also following the latest trends that the other big fellow companies are making a significant profit on. I know we wish and want SEGA to be ‘special’ in how they think, but they really are just a company that is trying to survive and outlast the competition.

It’s sad to think that way, especially when SEGA used to be so creative and always influencing the next best thing but that was YEARS ago and they’ve learned to tread water since then...

(Goku being a grandfather emphasizes family in this particular scene where they take his granddaughter before a big tournament fight to a fair/festival. We see Goku with his family too, or at least, a successful son with his wife and daughter, spending time with his Father-In-Law, and the like.)

We see it in Dragon Ball emphasizing family, we see it in more romance-themed animes (and those that have only recently done romance, when they--for the longest part--never indulged in such things before or previously) and we now see more japanese games and media centralized around that.

What does that mean for Sonamy? Hopefully good things! Because if you buy the merch, they’ll produce more content. It’s a basic ‘supply and demand’ formula. If the demand (meaning how much you spend and want Sonic and Amy couple merch) goes up, then they have to supply to keep their business afloat. If they don’t they sink, but that DOES NOT MEAN TO BE AGRESSIVE. It means just support when they do something you like, and positively, kindly mention what you liked and wish to see more of if the future allows. No one reads aggressive writing unless, they too--wish to be aggressive back.

SEGA’s had issues with aggressiveness before, please let them see that couples in the sonic world won’t have a negative impact on their branding with irrational and bad-media frenzies. (Now, after saying this, I know people will start to do just that, don’t feed fire with fire, just let the fire burn till it has nothing left to consume, and carry on happily posting fanart or fanstories of what you love. Ignore to extinguish, which is what SEGA will do to Sonic shipping fans if we don’t act somewhat reasonably, okay?)

My predictions are such: 1. Amy’s crush will sadly lessen in impact and become more of a novelty, something that is treasured when moments arise to reveal her crush on Sonic, which in my opinion, is not her personality, but due to the heavy influence of women’s portrayal (Especially in America) being overemphasized and not done well, this is how they will try and combat it... (No one does this right and you shouldn’t base a characters solely on political reasonings...) 2. Sonic will have moments of caring for Amy or doing something sweet that can and probably will be interpreted as ‘a couple moment’ but he’ll remain mostly about other things, and the ‘underlying romance’ will have to come through Amy Rose’s character. 3. SEGA will loosen some rules after seeing more and more of the productivity and trend associated with marketing romance, and to keep up with demand and growing times, will finally let small moments emerge between the two, but the fandom will not be satisficed since we will now be desensitized to overly avert demure and oblivious stereotropes that will date their characters. and won’t allow them to proceed smoothly into the new area of customers and audiences.

Children are becoming extremely observant and aware. They are clever, and they always have been. It’s time to market to Children and Young Adults, not babies.

My ways to avoid this, predictions 1: New employees will surface that will start to get a name and reputation in the Sonic Fandom, along with youtube and internet stars who will influence certain marketing schemes (as is starting to appear now, and I feel will be just like ‘star marketing’ or ‘influencers’ that will be popularized in fandoms that companies will slightly make use of.) that will encourage new ideas and bring about a sudden ‘boom’ not expected. (Especially after the lull of the pandemic, I feel there will be an abundance of things happening in the upcoming years... but nothing right now, unfortunately, but at least they’re forced to focus on working on things instead of just releasing to keep up with other companies.)--In other words, they will incorporate new blood with the old, and they will lead Sonic’s IP into a ton of nostalgia and new beginnings that will actually stick and become Sonic’s new brand identity. (This will resonate with fans old and new, but still be a fresh leap into the future for the franchise and fandom.) 2. Sonic’s negative popularity will start to decrease, leading and paving the way for fame and possible adjustments such as more romantic themes to keep up with trends and Japanese Government demands (especially when the population starts to wither and it becomes an emergency situation to start encouraging family ties). Other than sonamy or romantic things, I believe new characters will pop up to ‘test the waters’ and see if we like romance intertwined adventures. 3. Villains will become more sentimental and caring, less comedically, they will be redeemable entities so that the company can market them more. This can also lead into funny romances that help other romances develop and have more meaning. (In other words, they’ll dig into their vault of familiar and new faces, go off the trend of ‘redeeming the villain’ and have more heart-to-heart moments that may inspire more canonical couples... especially if a newer villain were to have a crush that ended up helping two canon characters get together and leave the audience sympathizing more with the villain. This is an actual trend starting where Villains have more character and roles other than just being evil and staying that way till death. I suspect this will be popularized in American and possibly foreign media as time goes on.)

(I actually have a lot of the sonamy shirts lol But here’s an example of the villain actually helping the canon couple have more ‘romantic underlying’ moments together <3)

Those are my current predictions, though I admit that some don’t sound all that hopeful. But hey! All my hopeful and positive predictions have already come true XD Sonamy is being marketed, the new media (Sonic Boom at the time) had subtle but more forward comedic hinting (that I don’t feel went all that well? But eh, that’s just me!), and SEGA continues to try and reface Sonic which his brand doesn’t need. I believe they will still try and rebrand Sonic continually until something sticks for them that they like. Sonamy may go through many iterations, as they are still hesitant with it, and we see that by only marketing their ‘younger selves’ as in Classic Sonamy, and are too ‘shy and uncertain’ if backlash would happen if they advertised a more mature-looking Sonic and Amy marketing. Again, I don’t know if they’ll fully grow out of this, so I predict they won’t.

(I have this one but in black <3 <3 <3)

That’s it for now! My positive last comments would be the more we buy/purchase Sonamy merch, the more we’ll start seeing it in their media and entertainment products. Until then, do your best and write, draw, and review -kindly- to keep those articles of enchantment alive with the sweet sound of--”When will Sonic and Amy finally have a love song AMV moment for us?” lol

#cutegirlmayra ask #ask cutegirlmayra #sonamy #sonic the hedgehog #sega #amy rose #cutegirlmayra #sonic ask #ask sonic #sonamy ask #ask sonamy #sonicxamy #sega marketing #anime #video games #japan #sonamy predictions

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rayofsunas · 3 years ago

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Hey so regarding inazuma and Baal I have some head cannons and your my favorite writer so I thought I’d just dump them all here.

Insazuma is the nation of eternity right? And Baal is basically the second archon after the original one died off somewhere presumably 500 years ago during the destruction of khaenri'ah.

The vision hunt decree was created for the Perdue of “eternity” and subsequently the people who’s visions were taken lost all their ambition. You get where I’m going here? Maybe Baal isn’t acting out of greed, but are justificing her actions to protect her people? The people of khaenri'ah had ambitions greater than anyone in that world could comprehend; they lived withought the guidance of a God, sought knowledge well beyond their limits and created destructive machines capable of “tilling” an enter battle field. Already we can see a shift in the archons perspective towards celestial- venti stated outright that he doesn’t like celestial, and Zhongli not only retired from his role as an archon but placed several meticulously planned tests to gouge his nations strength and stability in the face of a destructive god. Both nations, in a way, are becoming more similar to khaenri'ah in that they are both Godless, independent, and free from omnipotent influences.

Here’s my theory; The Goddess Baal, before inheriting the title of Archon, had witnessed the massacre and destruction of the khaenri'ah people and in order to prevent her nation from suffering the same fate she had launched the vision hunt decree to remove the people’s ambitions before it consumes them. She has witnessed the power of celestia, and in order to avoid the same fate she has made it her goal to separate Inazume from khaenri'ah in all forms and that’s why she continues on her role as archon instead of watching from the sides like venti or Zhongli.

Another thing, a small spoiler warning for those who haven’t finished the quest

I think people who are emotionless used to be the most emotional and heartfelt kind of individuals. Ayaka describes the Raiden Shogun as a cold and emotionless being, akin to a manager or something (I can’t remember her exact words) and I think that’s because Baal had been planning the decree for a long time now and had to steel her resolve knowing the impact it would have on the common folk. In her mind, what she is doing is better for the lo run and is necessary for the survival of her people.

This is just a theory, I haven’t finished the quest myself but it’s been weighing on me for quite sometime now. Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day!

SPOILERS + be prepared for my declarations rambles.

YOU’RE SO SMART, AND YOU'VE SPURRED ON MY LOCKED AWAY THEORIES THANKS. and I thought similarly, though now that you mention it, baal behaving selfishly seems like she could be protecting her people. after all, the vision hunt decree only happened recently (I think months to a year before the traveler’s arrival in mondstadt), so something shifted dramatically between the archons and celestial for baal to do that in the first place.

me and my friends chat about theories like this all the time on discord and everything you said makes so much sense! I also thought zhongli stepping away from his role as an archon was not just his way of freeing himself, but his way of seeing how his people would fair without a god (this is legit confirmed i think); and they’ve done just fine, proving to celestia that they’re wrong in believing nations and people need a ruling governing body, like an archon. but I feel like baal is still just selfish, even if she’s doing this to protect her citizens, my gut is just telling me she could be both selfish and also be doing this to protect her people.

but about the archons; my friends and I have tied the archons to tons of real life lore and myths, and something that keeps popping up with all the archons is different types of religion and beliefs; we found out that they each represent or are similar to the seven princes of hell (and there’s something about them coming up in demonology a crap ton too, and the similarities are a bit too similar... PAIMON IS MENTIONED TOO AS A KING OF HELL IN DEMONOLOGY LORE AND THAT'S NOT VERY CUTE.... I HAVE SO MANY THEORIES FOR PAIMON YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!). but I think the archons are like 50/50 bad and good (like they’ve done bad things willingly or not before the travelers arrival aka destruction of khaenri’ah) but celestia is the main antagonist, I’m 100% positive of that.

the hydro archon is said to know not to make an enemy of celestia/the divine, so I feel if any of the gods were to back celestia, it would be the hydro archon. but, this leads me to my first question; what in the world does celestia think about the gnosis’ being taken? I’m gonna assume they may care a little less about venti and zhongli because they’ve basically retired, but the other archons? they’re still active and actively represent celestia, so I’m curious to know what celestia would do when baal’s is taken (we know that she’s the next target, because one of the tsaritsa’s goals is to take them all). will baal be punished since she’s still an active ruling archon, or not? something is telling me she will, but who knows...

and this may sound obvious, but i think the archons represent celestia’s own ideals, although over time with the change of archons and maybe shifted opinions in celestia, said archons have changed and now their actions contradict what their title is, I think the reason behind that is because they’re the original and last reigning archons over their respective nations, but the others? they represent ideals, and some of their actions or just people interfering (harbingers talking the gnosis') have contradicted what they stand for entirely.

for example,

venti (ideal is freedom): his is so ironically obvious, but his gnosis was taken from him, against his will; there's nothing free about that. and he also retired from being an archon, and because of that went into hiding, also nothing free about that either; yet he represents freedom. you see what i'm trying to say? lol.

zhongli (ideal is contracts): nothing for him because i don't know much, but i think it's funny how he represents contracts, which are usually very tedious and there's a lot of depth in them, and he just gave his gnosis up so easily and willlingly (even if he has his reasons) by creating a contract like ???? it's funny to me.

baal (ideal is eternity): I haven’t started the archon quest yet for her, but I know she says she is the most eternal of all and sees herself as everlasting, but she’s legit younger than a good few of the archons (venti and zhongli so far!). I also think the original archons ideal was eternity and that’s what they had hoped for their people, but after the fall of khaenri’ah, war, and their death, baal came into power and realized it would be a threat to celestia if the people believe in eternity (like I said, something shifted severely after the war, because a lot of the original archons died or disappeared and their ideals almost became shrewd and a thing of the past with the new ones who took their places) therefore creating the vision hunt decree to get rid of visions; with more people coming into contact with visions, or maybe even when they realized humanity would be fine without an archon ruling over them, war would break out again and this time celestia would be the target. speaking of targets, this is random, but there’s an overwhelming presence of military surrounding/in inazuma and maybe that’s not just to collect visions and because war broke out amongst the people there, but it’s for protection against celestia and the harbingers (I think the other archons know about venti and zhongli's gnosis' being taken, so they're all weary). if baal were to overthrow celestia or betray them somehow, I’m sure since she’s an active archon they would retaliate.

the dendro archon (ideal is wisdom): the dendro archon is way more obvious, as dainsleif says he’s less than wise, but that’s his ideal... he’s also the youngest, so that’s another contradicting fact; young people are often called unwise.

the hydro archon (ideal is justice): I know nothing about her, but she represents justice. I don’t have a solid explanation for her, but based off of theories and if for a moment we assume celestia is the main antagonist, she is said to be afraid of celestia but seemingly backs them by not leaving like venti and zhongli... considering what they’ve done, I’d say she can’t possibly represent the ideal of justice correctly if what had happened to khaenri’ah was far from just, especially since the archons and celestia were behind it but her ideal is justice?

murata (ideal is war): I have no idea about her at all either, there's not much... but considering vanessa was able to pass into celestia when she died and she's considered the children of murata, I think we'll get more info on celestia then too, and more about khaenri'ah, since she's the god of war. she's gonna have the DEETS I tell you!!

the tsaritsa (ideal is unknown): nothing contradicting for now! she is a bit confusing because of how little info we have, but I have reason to believe she's against celestia, hence her taking the gnosis'. for now, until confirmed, I think her ideal or rather goal is to get rid of celestia. i don't think she has a gnosis or vision tbh, maybe the archon before her did and she's assumed to have one as well or maybe it even got taken away... but, i think that's one of the reasons she's created delusions, they're said to be a lot more dangerous and powerful (i think) than visions too. there's also this thing I found out about the gnosis' being designed after chess pieces, and how although there are 7 archons, there are only 6 chess pieces (pawn, rook, bishop, knight, queen, and king)... meaning one of the archons (not venti or zhongli, because we know what their gnosis' look like) has a gnosis that isn't designed after a chess piece... or in my words, doesn't have one at all. aka the tsaritsa... I think the tsaritsa not having a gnosis fits too snugly with her actions so far. and don't get me wrong! if we assume she doesn't have a gnosis, I don't think she's retaliating because of that, i think she just wants to change or get rid of celestia entirely. like this makes perfect sense because the tsaritsa is the only active archon seemingly and openly going against celestia's ideals, whatever they may be...

and about me saying the archons are "evil" or in the wrong for what happened to khaenri'ah (even if they were forced by celestia), in the archaic petra set, ZHONGLI IS SAID TO HAVE BEEN AN EMOTIONLESS AND MERCILESS GOD WHEN HE SLAUGHTERED COUNTLESS OTHER GODS DURING THE ARCON WAR, in order to fulfill a contract of sorts. this is why I think there were ulterior motives during the war and although yes, for now, it seems the archons were forced into complying during the war, I really think they had some willingness too.

at the end of my ted talk I have come to the conclusion that we can't trust the archons until we know more or celestia like... ever AND I STAND WITH THE REGULAR DEGULAR PEOPLE!!!

#rayofsunas #have i annoyed you yet with my essay? i really love theories I'M SO SORRY #like paimon is- big red sus #i spent so long on this don't flop #what do you guys think?#i might have to make a theory blog this is too much

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hopelesshawks · 4 years ago

Text

History of Us Part 23- Game On

Summary: Once upon a time Todoroki and (y/n) were best friends. Now they haven’t spoken in years. When (y/n) is forced to transfer to UA, will she and Shoto reconnect or will their troubled past keep them apart? A childhood friends to enemies to lovers hybrid fic.

If you don’t want to see History of Us content blacklist #hopelesshou

Masterlist Kofi

When Shoto arrives in the common room you’re sitting on the couch rubbing your temples with a scowl on your face as Denki looks sheepishly at you and rubs the back of his neck. Shoto feels a twinge of jealousy ripple through him when he notices Sero sitting next to you trying to talk you down. He shoves it down as he calls out to you. “Are you alright?” he asks. You look up and your eyes immediately brighten when you find the source of the voice. “Sho-Chan thank god,” you groan dramatically, opening your arms wide in a silent request for comfort. It would be a lie for Shoto to claim he didn’t feel a small measure of smug satisfaction as he comes to sit on your other side and you immediately fall into his arms and groan into his chest. “They’re so dumb and unhelpful I want to die,” you whine. “Hey ‘they’ are right here!” Sero protests. “Did she stutter?” Shoto asks with a raised eyebrow. You jerk back with a surprised laugh. “Maybe I am a bad influence on you,” you cackle. “So what did they do to distress you so much anyway?” Shoto asks, his eyes silently challenging Sero. You immediately scowl as you recall what had soured your mood. Denki goes from amused at Shoto and Sero’s obvious competitiveness to sheepish again. “I gave Denki ONE JOB for this evening. Buy snacks. That’s it and he FORGOT TO DO IT,” you growl. “I’m sure Sato would be happy to bake something if you’d like,” Shoto offers. “Whomst the fuck is Sato?” you ask, blinking at him. “Y’know. Sato. Tall dude, pretty built?” Denki offers. “Sugar rush quirk?” Sero adds. “Never heard of him,” you shrug. “Don’t worry, I can ask him if you’d like. Our dorms are close to each other,” Shoto offers. “Seriously? Ugh you’re the best Sho, thanks,” you gush, much to Sero’s chagrin. “I’ll go help, I feel bad I couldn’t help you out more here pretty girl,” Sero offers. “You know how to bake?” you ask him with a raised eyebrow. “What, like it’s hard?” Sero replies easily. “Once when we were 7 my mom tried to teach Sho-Chan and I how to bake and he nearly set the kitchen on fire. He had to freeze the oven to stop it,” you confess, causing Shoto to blush with a scowl on his face as Sero laughs. “Hey no scowling,” you tell him, poking his cheek with one finger. He rolls his eyes and bats your hand away but that only makes you laugh. “That was a long time ago, I can certainly bake now. As Sero put it, it’s not as if it’s difficult,” Shoto scoffs. “Why don’t you help me and Sato too then,” Sero grins. “Fine.” “Fine.” “Good.” “Good.” “You two are so fucking weird but thanks! Denki and I will finish cleaning up in here and rally the troops. Class B should get here in like an hour. I’m counting on you two!” you tell them, interrupting their odd back and forth before they both give you a nod and then head off in search of Sato.

You and Denki have just finished cleaning up and texting the class A group chats to come down when you hear a loud clatter coming from the kitchen. Both of you snap your heads towards the sound only to see a frustrated Sato pushing Shoto and Sero into the common room, both of whom are absolutely covered in flour. “Please watch them. I’ll be done with everything soon but just..... keep them far away from the kitchen until I am,” Sato sighs before going back to resume his work. You immediately burst into full on, belly clutching laughter. The kind that hurts your stomach and makes your eyes water. Kaminari is similarly howling beside you, although neither Shoto nor Sero seem to share your amusement. When you’ve finally managed to contain your laughter a bit more you wheeze out “How? How did you two do this?” “It looks like you two got into a fight with the flour and it won,” Denki adds. Sero’s sheepish grin is a contrast to Shoto’s slightly grouchy look. “It turns out baking is that difficult,” Shoto admits, and your face softens a little when you realize he’s genuinely embarrassed. “People are going to be here soon you two should get cleaned up. Denki can you go light a fire under people’s asses?” you ask.

With a nod the boys all move towards where the rooms are but you catch Shoto’s shoulder to signal him to wait. You carefully brush some of the flour off until just the two of you are alone in the common room. “You wanna tell me what’s up with you today?” you ask. “What do you mean?” he asks. “Oh c’mon Sho, you seem so upset cause Sato kicked you out of the kitchen and typically shit like that doesn’t bother you,” you elaborate. Todoroki’s eyes scan over your face and he wonders, not for the first time, how even after a decade and all the changes you’ve both been through, you can still read him like a book. “I wanted to be helpful since I wasn’t here to help you before and all I did was make a mess,” Shoto finally sighs. “I’ve been stressing over this shit practically all day and you just had me cackling. That is helping Sho. You were busy training with Midoriya, it’s fine,” you assure him. “What do you mean training with Midoriya?” Shoto asks, cocking his head to the side. It always reminds you of a puppy when he does that but you shove the thought aside as you realize what he’s responded. “I was going to ask if you could come down and help but Sero told me you were out training with Midoriya and I didn’t want to bother you.” “I didn’t train with Midoriya today.” “You didn’t?” “No.” “Huh, weird. Sero must’ve been confused I guess,” you shrug.

The conversation ends when Denki comes skidding back into the common room to ask you if he looks ok. “Oh, am I interrupting something?” he asks, looking between you and Shoto. “Nah, Sho should probably get cleaned up anyway,” you reply easily. Even still you give Shoto’s shoulder a quick squeeze of reassurance before he sends you an appreciative look and heads upstairs. “What was that about?” Denki asks. “He felt guilty for not helping more,” you admit as you watch your friend head up to his dorm. “See, irl simp eyes,” Denki says, pointing at your face. You immediately scowl and punch his shoulder. “Hey! If I wanted this abuse I’d have called Bakugo,” he whines. “Aren’t you the one who always says we’re the same?” you point out. “You right. I should’ve known better, you two really are the same,” Denki sighs. You punch him in the shoulder again as you protest “No we’re not!” “You brought up the comparison first!” “You weren’t supposed to agree with it!” You and Denki’s bickering is interrupted by Sato’s arrival with various baked goods which he lays out on the table in the main area. Shortly after that both classes A and B start to spill into the common room.

As it turns out, wing manning for Denki is a full time job. He gets easily flustered and frequently requires moral support so even when he is with Shinso he frequently wants you there as moderator. He’s going to owe you huge for this one, but he knows it and seems genuinely appreciative so you don’t mind too much. Finally, finally Shinso and Denki seem to hit their stride on a topic so you quietly duck out and head outside to get some air. The air is crisp now as the sun starts to set but you still take in a long deep breath before slowly releasing it out. You sit down on the ground and stare out over the grounds of UA. You don’t think you’ve ever been this social your entire life. Soon a familiar presence sits down next to you. “Overwhelmed?” Shoto asks quietly. “A little, yea,” you admit. “I get that. It was a lot for me initially too,” he confesses. “Does it ever go away?” “Not entirely, but it does get better.” “Good,” you sigh as you lean over to rest your head on his shoulder. He brings one arm up to wrap around you as the two of you sit there in silence for awhile before finally he speaks up. “So you and Kaminari are getting pretty close,” he brings up. “Yea,” you sigh, “I’m trying to help him out with Shinso but I did not anticipate how much work that would be.” “Shinso?” “Yea, that’s the main reason he wanted to do all this.” “I thought Denki liked you,” Shoto confesses, and it shocks you a little that he even noticed. “Oh, maybe a little but not seriously and not lately. He’s like gone on Shinso, it’s cute,” you explain. You notice Shoto seems to relax beneath you at the words but before you can press him on it Sero pokes his head outside and the tension instantly returns to your friend’s body.

“There you are! I was wondering where the life of the party had snuck off to,” Sero greets. “That’s a new one,” you snort, reluctantly lifting your head off Shoto’s shoulder. “Come on back in, may as well enjoy the fruit of all your hard work right?” Sero encourages and it’s hard to come up with an excuse not to rejoin the festivities. “Give me a sec, I’ll be right in,” you tell him. His eyes flicker between you and Shoto briefly before he gives you a toothy grin and says “Don’t take too long!” and ducks back inside. “Guess that’s my cue to re-enter the fray,” you sigh as you stand up, “you coming?” “No, I think I’ll stay out here a bit longer before I go back inside,” Shoto tells you. You nod in understanding, a large part of you wanting to follow his lead. “Maybe another movie night tonight?” you offer cautiously, but the soft smile you get in response is enough to reassure you. “Sounds perfect,” Shoto replies. You grin back at him before heading back inside to rejoin the others.

A/N: No thoughts, head empty, just Grumpy Shoto and Soft Shoto.

Taglist: @sorrythatspussynal @miss-bakugo-writes @pixelwisp @larkspyrr @sokkaandzukosimp @akkaso @sunaispretty @shot0stea @todoplusultra @oliviasslut @lapysllazuly @immah0e4fictionalmen

#hopelesshou #shoto smau #shoto x fem!reader #shoto x y/n #todoroki x fem!reader #todoroki smau #todoroki x y/n #shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki

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